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Features 68 104 special report health & medicine The Nicest Places 34 Things You 56 in America Need to Know cover story A falafel shop About Arthritis THE FUNNIEST that redefines the This painful joint JOKES SINCE THE American dream, disease is actually INTERNET a city made strong a collection of more by tragedy, and than 100 ailments— The most hilarious eight more inspiring and it affects people memes, tweets, fails, exemplars of civility of all ages. and spoofs (plus and kindness. by sari harrar Google poetry?!) by jeremy greenfield since the first web 112 page went live in 1991. 98 drama in real life edited by andy simmons fascinating facts Lost in the The Secret Lives Pacific Woods of Letters She set out to They may be small scatter her husband’s characters, but ashes in a national there are amazing park. Would she stories behind make it out alive? these 26 alphabet by tom hallman jr. all-stars. by brooke nelson on the cover: jeff minton (grumpy cat); shutterstock (mouse) on the back cover: photograph by amanda friedman; fashion stylist: diandre tristan; makeup stylist: elena george; hair stylist: petula skeete courtesy laney griner

rd.com | november 2018 1 Reader’s Digest Contents Departments

6 Dear Reader quotable quotes 8 Letters 22 Neil deGrasse Tyson, Miranda everyday heroes Lambert, 10 Love’s Last Refrain by jen mccaffery Gen. George S. Patton 13 A White Knight in how to the Aisle Seat by andy simmons 24 Keep Internet Spies Out of i won! Your Home 14 The Grand National by marissa Turkey Calling laliberte Contest 14 illustration by john cuneo. photograph bret hartman illustration

2 november 2018 | rd.com 10 Lost in the Medicare maze? There’s still time to pick a plan. Medicare Open Enrollment ends December 7th. With helpful people, tools and plans — including the only Medicare plans with the AARP name — UnitedHealthcare® can help guide you through the confusion Find the Medicare plan for you at UHCmedicare.com or call UnitedHealthcare at 1-877-497-5255, TTY 711.

Plans are offered through UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company or one of its affiliated companies. For Medicare Advantage and Prescription Drug Plans: A Medicare Advantage organization with a Medicare contract and a Medicare-approved Part D sponsor. Enrollment in these plans depends on the plan’s contract renewal with Medicare. UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company pays royalty fees to AARP for the use of its intellectual property. These fees are used for the general purposes of AARP. AARP and its affiliates are not insurers. You do not need to be an AARP member to enroll in a Medicare Advantage or Prescription Drug Plan. AARP does not employ or endorse agents, brokers or producers. AARP encourages you to consider your needs when selecting products and does not make specific product recommendation for individuals. Please note that each insurer has sole financial responsibility for its products. ©2018 United HealthCare Services, Inc. All rights reserved. Y0066_180801_050652 Accepted SPRJ43694_PSC2068058 Reader’s Digest Contents

news from the world of medicine 28 Vitamin B12, Humor 50 Diabetes, and “Superagers” 16 Life in These your true stories United States 32 The Donkey Hug 34 life well lived Laughter, the Best 36 Thanksgiving Medicine for the Soul 49 by patricia sherlock Laugh Lines from guideposts 96 we found a fix All in a Day’s Work 41 Cell Phone Batteries & More 121 Humor in Uniform 13 things 50 Surprising Innovations from World War I by jacopo della quercia everyday miracles i am the food on your plate 54 Discovering a 45 Cranberries Lost Brother by kate lowenstein by juliana labianca and daniel gritzer

Send letters to [email protected] or Letters, Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6100, The Genius Harlan, Iowa 51593-1600. Include your full name, address, e-mail, and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic Section media. Contribute your True Stories at rd.com/stories. If we publish one in a print edition of Reader’s Digest, we’ll pay you $100. To submit humor items, visit 122 Wish You Were rd.com/submit, or write to us at Jokes, 44 South Broadway, 7th Floor, White More Creative? Plains, NY 10601. We’ll pay you $25 for any joke, gag, or funny quote and $100 Just Pretend! for any true funny story published in a print edition of Reader’s Digest unless we by susie neilson specify otherwise in writing. Please include your full name and address in your from the cut entry. We regret that we cannot acknowledge or return unsolicited work. Requests for permission to reprint any material from Reader’s Digest should be sent to [email protected]. Get help with questions on subscriptions, 126 Brain Games renewals, gifts, address changes, payments, account information, and other 128 Word Power inquiries at rd.com/help, or write to us at [email protected] or Reader’s

Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595. 132 Photo Finish by serge bloch illustration ermolaev alexander/shutterstock. from left: hortimages/shutterstock.

4 november 2018 | rd.com SWEET RAISINS

CRUNCHY BRAN FLAKES

PLOT TWIST WE ADDED BANANA SLICES ®, ®, 2018 © Kellogg TM, NA Co. Reader’s Digest

DEAR READER

Future T better than finding a classic pair of (or Jane’s) spleen, heart, and 34 other jeans and making sure they fit. body parts. Clever and deeply re- Similarly, to update a 96-year-old searched, it was curiously hard to institution such as Reader’s Digest, put down. I Am the Food on Your we knew we needn’t reinvent the Plate, on page 45, lifts the format into wheel. Better to walk down the hall the 21st century, with a food narrating to the magazine’s windowless ar- its science and history. chive and steal inspired old wheels. You’ll find reclamations every- That really is how we created the where: To buttress our health cover- updated version of the magazine age, we simply added a page to the you’re reading now. Working through 56-year-old News from the World of the dusty stacks, creative director Medicine; to judge our Nicest Places Courtney Murphy came upon a 1951 search, we turned to a 2013 cover issue with a border around the head- story featuring America’s most trusted lines (shown above, left) that felt in- newsperson: Robin Roberts. telligent and approachable in its If we’ve done our recovery midcentury design. She played work well, RD is better today for with it a bit and turned it into the inviting back the best of yester- frame that surrounds the names day. Enjoy the new look, and of all our departments—a please tell us what you think. gift from RD from nearly Bruce Kelley, 70 years ago. editor-in-chief Imagining a new food section, we turned to the Write to me at

1960s-era series I Am [email protected]. cohen. photograph by mike mcgregor from top: photograph by matthew

6 november 2018 | r

Reader’s Digest

Jones, an NFL lineman; Tom Dempsey, a kicker LETTERS with the New Orleans Notes on the Saints, who was born September issue without toes and fin- gers on his right foot and hand; and MLB players Pete Gray and Jim Abbott. Young ath- 50 Ways to Get letes should receive all Smarter About Your Brain the encouragement in Your article stated that you have more the world to play sports and attempt other feats. than five senses. It reminded me of when The lack of a hand I was teaching my daughter about the should not stop them. senses, and she said there were six. I went —Andy Pittman through the five senses, and she said, College Station, Texas “No, you missed one: the sense of humor!” Fascinating Facts —Emily Murphy Kingwood, Texas About Unseen Cities I wonder whether any- The Power of exercise going back and one has ever used lidar Fake Pills forth to the bathroom. to look for Atlantis, the The article affirmed And back. And forth. fabled island that is what many moms and And back. And forth. said to have sunk to the kids know: that apply- Maybe all the walking bottom of the Atlantic ing the healing salve of is supposed to tire Ocean. There’s always a a kiss to a child’s paper me out. possibility of a myth cut or skinned elbow or —Shari Prange becoming an actuality! knee really works! Bonny Doon, California —Suzanne Evans —Teri Ismail San Jose, California Tallahassee, Florida Everyday Heroes After reading “The A Football Family Wake Up Smarter Five-Fingers Club,” I Lets Go of a Dream So the sounds of a was reminded of sev- I can’t help but wonder waterfall or heavy rain eral pro athletes who about the coach of the are supposed to help had one arm/hand: opposing team and me sleep? No, but they Boid Buie, a Harlem the referee. Seems

do give me a lot of Globetrotter; Ellis they both bear some cohen photographs by matthew

8 november 2018 | rd.com responsibility for This Smartphone BRAIN GAMES 11-year-old Brogan Feature Could Callaghan’s brain in- Save Your Life ✦ I really liked Word jury during a football If only more people Sudoku. It made me strat- game. The coach would use the Medical egize as if I were doing shouldn’t have con- ID feature, first re- regular sudoku—which re- doned his player’s ille- sponders could do their ally makes your brain work. gal hits, and the ref jobs more effectively. —Victoria Pruden should’ve called it the It would save lives owensboro, kentucky first time it happened. and relieve pressure ✦ Lost Time was so My sympathies to Bro- on family members to easy that I thought maybe gan and his family. remember important my answer was wrong, —Wendy Steele information in a des- although it wasn’t. Chelsea, Alabama perate, emotional —Mary Hartshorn situation. I have used westerville, ohio Your True Stories Medical ID for two ✦ Your story of the years and always up- Do I need to turn in my genius card? In Counting lost wedding ring was date the information Digits, I’m pretty sure very close to what when changes happen. the digit 5 occurs 19 times happened to me. One —Janet little in the numbers 1 to 100, day, I saw that the Gahanna, Ohio not 20 as you stated. diamond was missing —Kathy Sevy from my engagement peculiar, missouri ring. I was sure we were going to have to get FROM THE EDITORS a new stone. Well, lo looking The digits question and behold, the next for tricked many of you. It day I was vacuuming, laughs! asks how many times and what did I see on “the digit” 5 occurs, the carpet? Yes, my We love you, Mom, and the correct answer diamond—and it is a but sometimes you make includes both 5s in 55. small one. The jeweler us blush. Got a funny set it with a new prong, “mom-apropism”— and I still have my something your original ring. This year, mother never should it is 53 years old. have said but did? —Sylvia Strickland Share the story at Goose Creek, South rd.com/mom, and Carolina we might publish it. Reader’s Digest EVERYDAY HEROES

This musician calms the dying and soothes their families Love’s Last Refrain

By Jen McCaffery

When Freddie Fuller arrived to per- But Fuller, wearing a cowboy hat form in the hospital room in Temple, and toting a Taylor acoustic guitar, Texas, Pam Golightly worried it was al- shared with her what medical profes- ready too late. Her stepfather, Dennis sionals had told him time and time Strobel, was dying. again over the years: Hearing may be At 88, Strobel had just been the last sense to go. moved to the palliative care unit. “Let me go in and play,” Fuller said. After spending five days by his side, “It’s as much for you as it is for him.” Golightly could tell that something Fuller, 68 and a full-time musi- had changed in the Korean War cian, is known professionally as the veteran. He had become agitated, and Singing Cowboy. With two albums, a nurse had told her Strobel’s time the country and folk musician has was near. performed all over the United States, “You’re probably wasting your as well as overseas for American time,” Golightly told Fuller. troops. He also delights schoolkids

10 november 2018 | rd.com Photograph by Bret Hartman “Oddly enough, I feel comfortable around people at the end of their life,” says Fuller. Reader’s Digest

with a one-man show called “History dozens of musical vigils. Sometimes of the Texas Cowboy 1850–1900.” they’re almost festive, with termi- Growing up in Salado, Texas, Fuller nally ill people surrounded by family, heard gospel music all the time from including one patient who sang along his mother. She even sang as she hung and danced gingerly with her walker. clothes on the line. And she encour- Other times, they’re quieter, as Fuller’s aged her young son’s musical talent. experience with his mom was. And When she was dying of cancer, in sometimes they feel a bit like a miracle. 1987, he put their love of song to its That was the case with Golightly’s greatest use. He would crawl into her stepfather. He enjoyed country mu- hospital bed with his guitar and sing sic, and Swan Songs sent Fuller. When her favorites: “Amazing Grace,” “Just a Fuller arrived at the hospital that day Closer Walk with Thee,” and “I’ll Fly last February, Strobel seemed ready to Away.” His mother seemed to relax, a say goodbye. Golightly and her sister, peaceful look crossing her face. Paula Guerra, watched their stepdad’s “That moment allowed her and I to every breath, each holding one of connect like we used to when I was his hands. Fuller played some Willie singing as a kid,” Fuller recalls. It em- Nelson, Merle Haggard, and Jackson phasized to him the power of music. Browne songs. After 45 minutes, Go- Consciously or subconsciously, people lightly asked for just one more song. allow it to go to deep, sacred parts of Fuller chose “Love, Me,” a country their hearts and souls, Fuller believes. ballad by Collin Raye. “I played the So when he heard about a non- last song, sang the last note, and hit profit organization called Swan Songs, the last guitar chord, and he took his he gave them a call. Since 2005, Swan last breath,” Fuller says. Songs has arranged more than 800 “She, her sister, and I looked at one free musical last wishes—bedside another, saying: ‘Oh my gosh, we just performers from bagpipers to maria- experienced one of the most magical chi bands—at hospitals, hospices, and moments in our lives.’” private homes in and around Austin, “It was a gift for us all,” Golightly Texas. Fuller signed up on the spot. says of Fuller’s singing. “At a really sad Since then, he has performed time, it was beautiful.”

Take the First Step A person who is not afraid of looking like a fool gets to do a lot more dancing. margaret renkl, writer

12 november 2018 Everyday Heroes

aisle was Chase Irwin, a 35-year- A White old bar manager from Nashville, Tennessee. He could see the man’s texts, too—and he could see Phillips. Knight in the “I noticed [her] looking at his phone,” Irwin told wsmv.com. “I was sick to Aisle Seat my stomach. I could not have this guy sit next to her this whole flight and her thinking he’s making fun of her,” he By Andy Simmons told Nashville’s NewsChannel 5. In an instant, Irwin had unbuckled Soon after Savannah Phillips got his seat belt and was hovering over buckled into her window seat on a the texter. “Hey, I need to talk to United Airlines flight from Oklahoma you,” Irwin told him. “We are switch- to Illinois this past May, she glanced ing seats—now.” When the texter over at her seatmate. He was in his asked why, Irwin said, “You’re tex- 60s, wore bright yellow sunglasses, ting about her, and I’m not putting and was busy texting. up with that.” The font was unusually The texter acceded large and the screen was quickly. Irwin took his bright, making it easy place next to Phillips for Phillips to read what and was soon cheering he was tapping out: up his new seatmate. “Hey Babe, I’m sitting “He encouraged me next to a smelly fatty.” not to let that guy get to “It was like confir- me and that everything mation of the negative was going to be fine,” things I think about Phillips wrote. And he myself on a daily basis,” was right. She and Irwin the 33-year-old mother spent the rest of the wrote in a Facebook flight chatting like old post after the flight. friends. Soon tears streamed With her faith in hu- down her cheeks as she manity restored, Phil- hugged the cabin wall, lips wrote on Facebook, trying to make herself “The flight attendant as small as possible. “You’re not crying the rest told him that he was Sitting a row behind of the flight,” Irwin (bottom) her hero. He wasn’t her

courtesy (2) them and across the told Phillips (top). hero—he was mine.”

rd.com 13 Reader’s Digest

I WON!

The GRAND NATIONAL TURKEY CALLING CONTEST jesse martin, age 36, Mount Sterling, Kentucky

Why did you take up turkey calling? I was about ten, and my aunt cluck and purr when Why do you think you and uncle had some they’re eating their won? The judges said turkeys out in the yard. favorite foods and it was the most realistic I got obsessed with they’re happy. Every they’d ever heard. You trying to sound as much hen sounds different, need to be your own like a real turkey as just like humans. hen, not like somebody I could. I’ve practiced else. That was my tenth three hours a day for the And you do this all just Grand National, and last twenty-some years. with the sound of your I finally won. It was a voice? No, you place dream come true. For people who have what’s known as a call never heard you—or in your mouth. It con- a turkey—can you tains latex, and the ten- The National Wild describe a call? Kee is a sion is what will make Turkey Federation’s sound the turkey makes it sound like different Grand National Calling when it has been turkeys. The tighter you Championship is held separated from the stretch the call, the every February. There flock, kind of like a kid higher the pitch. Looser are nine divisions, at Walmart screaming tension will sound like including owl hooting for his mama. They an older hen. and a team challenge.

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“Here’s the wine you mispronounced.” The other day I got carded at the liquor Garrick came home on store. While I was taking out my ID, my their wedding anniver- sary. He saw the flow- old Blockbuster card fell out. The clerk ers on the dining room shook his head, said, “Never mind,” table and said, “What and rang me up. nice flowers. Where did you get them?” —Andrea Price Grafton, Wisconsin —Yefim M. Brodd My friend Garrick had with both dates as well Kirkland, Washington the solution to forget- as instructions to send ting his wife’s birthday flowers and a card Every class is drama and their wedding an- signed “Your loving class when you’re in niversary: He opened husband, Garrick.” high school. an account with a local For a few years, it — @timothybird186 florist and provided it worked. Then one day, (Timothy Bird)

16 november 2018 Cartoon by Joe di Chiarro Pretty much the most off the rails,” he said. ZZZZZZZZZZIP IT! frightening part of “How long will that my day is when I get a take to fix?” notification that my “Quite a few hours.” A woman finds herself mother has tagged me “So why put up a constantly awakened in a post on Facebook. sign saying it would at night by her boy- — @CulturedRuffian take 30 minutes?” friend talking in his “It’s the only sign sleep. So since she’s Spotted on a we have.” up, she decides to re- Laundromat corkboard: —James Joy West cord what he’s saying. “Please keep clothes on Hartford, Connecticut Here are some of his while doing laundry.” midnight ramblings: —Sue Connor At our weekly Bible Roseburg, Oregon study, the leader asked ✦ “No, octopus, you an elderly gentleman, can’t do that!” Marriage is just your Walt, to open the meet- ✦ “Spaghetti is hair for spouse perpetually ing with prayer. Walt meatballs.” standing in front of the did so in a soft voice. ✦ “Where are my kitchen drawer or cabi- Another man, strain- pancakes, penguin?” net you need to open. ing to hear, shouted, “I ✦ “I won’t. The toilet — @copymama can’t hear you!” said no.” Walt replied, “I ✦ “Butterfly, you made I was waiting at a small wasn’t talking to you.” a mistake walking in train station when a —Richard Steussy front of me.” man put up a sign Novato, California ✦ “But I wanna be Mary regarding my train: Poppins.” “30-Minute Delay.” My wife just said ✦ “What happened?” “That’s definitely your “Do you know where the TV remote is? No? I asked. daughter” after our I’ll just ask the duck.” “The train went three-year-old mut- tered incomprehensi- —boredpanda.com ble gibberish, laughed Got a funny story out loud, and said very What’s the craziest about friends or fam- proudly, “I made a thing you’ve ever heard ily? It could be worth funny joke!” someone say in his or $$$. For details, go to — @SpencerHH her sleep? Tell us at rd.com/submit. (Spencer Higgins) rd.com/sleeptalk.

rd.com 17 bladder (OAB) treatment in its class. In clinical trials, those taking Myrbetriq made fewer trips to the bathroom and had fewer leaks than those not taking Myrbetriq. Your results may vary. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OAB SYMPTOMS BY TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT MYRBETRIQ TODAY. USE OF MYRBETRIQ (meer-BEH-trick) Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) is a prescription medicine for adults used to treat overactive bladder (OAB) with symptoms of urgency, frequency and leakage. IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Myrbetriq is not for everyone. Do not take Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron or any ingredients in Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not being able to empty your bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream.

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. ©2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. All rights reserved. 057-2708-PM IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (CONTINUED) Myrbetriq may cause allergic reactions that may be serious. If you experience swelling of the face, lips, throat or tongue, with or without diffi culty breathing, stop taking Myrbetriq and tell your doctor right away. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take including medications for overactive bladder or other medicines such as thioridazine (Mellaril™ and Mellaril-S™), fl ecainide (Tambocor®), propafenone (Rythmol®), digoxin (Lanoxin®) or solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®). Myrbetriq may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq works. Before taking Myrbetriq, tell your doctor if you have liver or kidney problems. The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include increased blood pressure, common cold symptoms (nasopharyngitis), dry mouth, fl u symptoms, urinary tract infection, back pain, dizziness, joint pain, headache, constipation, sinus irritation, and infl ammation of the bladder (cystitis). For further information, please talk to your healthcare professional and see Brief Summary of Prescribing Information for Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) on the following pages. Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) extended-release tablets 25 mg, 50 mg Brief Summary based on FDA-approved patient labeling Read the Patient Information that comes with Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) before you start taking LWDQGHDFKWLPH\RXJHWDUH¿OO7KHUHPD\EHQHZLQIRUPDWLRQ7KLVVXPPDU\GRHVQRWWDNHWKH SODFHRIWDONLQJZLWK\RXUGRFWRUDERXW\RXUPHGLFDOFRQGLWLRQRUWUHDWPHQW What is Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick)? 0\UEHWULTLVDSUHVFULSWLRQPHGLFDWLRQIRUDGXOWVXVHGWRWUHDWWKHIROORZLQJV\PSWRPVGXHWRD FRQGLWLRQFDOOHGRYHUDFWLYHEODGGHU  8UJHXULQDU\LQFRQWLQHQFHDVWURQJQHHGWRXULQDWHZLWKOHDNLQJRUZHWWLQJDFFLGHQWV  8UJHQF\DVWURQJQHHGWRXULQDWHULJKWDZD\  )UHTXHQF\XULQDWLQJRIWHQ ,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTLVVDIHDQGHIIHFWLYHLQFKLOGUHQ Who should not use Myrbetriq? Do notWDNH0\UEHWULTLI\RXKDYHDQDOOHUJ\WRPLUDEHJURQRUDQ\RIWKHLQJUHGLHQWVLQ0\UEHWULT 6HHWKHHQGRIWKLVVXPPDU\IRUDFRPSOHWHOLVWRILQJUHGLHQWVLQ0\UEHWULT What should I tell my doctor before taking Myrbetriq? Before you take Myrbetriq, tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions, including if you:  KDYHOLYHUSUREOHPVRUNLGQH\SUREOHPV  KDYHYHU\KLJKXQFRQWUROOHGEORRGSUHVVXUH  KDYHWURXEOHHPSW\LQJ\RXUEODGGHURU\RXKDYHDZHDNXULQHVWUHDP  DUHSUHJQDQWRUSODQWREHFRPHSUHJQDQW,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTZLOOKDUP\RXUXQERUQ EDE\7DONWR\RXUGRFWRULI\RXDUHSUHJQDQWRUSODQWREHFRPHSUHJQDQW  DUHEUHDVWIHHGLQJRUSODQWREUHDVWIHHG,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTSDVVHVLQWR\RXUEUHDVWPLON 7DONWR\RXUGRFWRUDERXWWKHEHVWZD\WRIHHG\RXUEDE\LI\RXWDNHM\UEHWULT Tell your doctor about all the medicines you takeLQFOXGLQJSUHVFULSWLRQDQGRYHUWKHFRXQWHU PHGLFLQHVYLWDPLQVDQGKHUEDOVXSSOHPHQWV0\UEHWULTPD\DIIHFWWKHZD\RWKHUPHGLFLQHVZRUN DQGRWKHUPHGLFLQHVPD\DIIHFWKRZ0\UEHWULTZRUNV 7HOO\RXUGRFWRULI\RXWDNH  WKLRULGD]LQH 0HOODULO RU0HOODULO6  ÀHFDLQLGH 7DPERFRU®)  SURSDIHQRQH 5\WKPRO®) • digoxin (Lanoxin®)  VROIHQDFLQVXFFLQDWH 9(6,FDUH®) How should I take Myrbetriq?  7DNH0\UEHWULTH[DFWO\DV\RXUGRFWRUWHOOV\RXWRWDNHLW 

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Myrbetriq®LVDUHJLVWHUHGWUDGHPDUNRI$VWHOODV3KDUPD,QF$OORWKHUWUDGHPDUNVRUUHJLVWHUHG WUDGHPDUNVDUHWKHSURSHUW\RIWKHLUUHVSHFWLYHRZQHUV $VWHOODV3KDUPD86,QF 5HYLVHG$SULO 0596%5)6 30 Reader’s Digest QUOTABLE QUOTES

Anything sweet, really sweet, that I have was nothing that I planned. —Sandra Bullock, actor

I tell every child I meet, “You have greatness inside you, and your job is to figure out what that is, dig it out, and give it to the world.” —Henry Winkler, actor

Beware of monotony; it’s the mother of all the deadly sins. —Edith Wharton, novelist

People are readily identified as being left-brained or right-brained, but I want to be identified as using my entire brain. —Mae Jemison, astronaut

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. —George S. Patton, army general

I picture each day as if it were a happy dog looking at me. I may not be in the mood, but the dog always wants to play. Trust the dog. —John Patrick Shanley, playwright from left: broadimage. michael buckner/variety. f a (all shutterstock) from left: broadimage. michael buckner/variety. archive. michael buckner/variety.

22 bullock winkler patton jemison An acquaintance is a person we know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to. —Ambrose Bierce, writer

People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, psychiatrist

At this stage of life, I sort of go, “OK, I won’t scream at you. I’ll just talk to you loud.” —Miranda Lambert, singer

POINT TO PONDER

If you’re a child, you are curious about your environment. Period. You’re overturning rocks. You’re plucking petals off flowers, and you’re doing things that create disorder. Then what do adults do? They say, “Don’t pluck the petals ... Don’t play with the egg.” Everything is a don’t. We spend the first year teaching them to walk and talk and the rest of their lives telling them to shut up and sit down. Get out of their way! —Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist from left: broadimage. vladimir weinstein/bfa. ap. (all shutterstock)

lambert tyson küblerross 23 Reader’s Digest HOW TO Keep Internet Spies Out of Your Home “Smart” devices equipped with cameras and microphones can be easy targets for hackers

By Marissa Laliberte

24 november 2018 or a nervous first-time mom, the new Wi-Fi-connected baby monitor seemed like a godsend. Jamie Summitt was thrilled that the system let her use her phone to watch her F son, Noah, and even control the camera angle in case the baby moved. Her husband and sister-in-law could operate the monitor with their phones too. What none of them realized was that they were not the only ones who could watch.

One night, all three grown-ups Google Home. But that convenience were sitting together in the Summitts’ can make you easy prey for hackers. South Carolina home when Jamie Whenever you connect to the Internet, noticed that the live video was pan- a door opens just a crack, enough that ning around the baby’s room. That’s hackers can get through, and smart odd, she thought, since none of them devices don’t always do a good job of were touching their phones at that keeping the interlopers out. “One of moment. Then the camera stopped the biggest issues is that these device and refocused—on the exact spot makers are really thinking about se- where she usually breast-fed. Jamie curity second,” says Andrew Newman, was confused and wondered whether founder and CEO of Reason Software there was a bug in the monitor’s soft- Company. Security breaches are rare, ware. Then she realized the uglier but tech experts fear that as these truth: Someone else was controlling gizmos become more popular, they’ll the camera. She unplugged the baby also become bigger targets. The time monitor and called the police. “It to protect yourself is now. makes me kind of sick to think what kind of stuff the person may have SMALL ELECTRONICS seen, and he still could be out there,” AND ROUTERS Jamie told ABC News. “I’m supposed to protect my son, and I feel like I Most smart devices require pass- failed him.” words, but a weak one isn’t hard Smart gadgets are all about conve- to crack—assuming you’ve set one nience, allowing you to control house- in the first place. Hackers can use hold devices (thermostats, doorbells, Google-like search engines to find out refrigerators, coffee makers, and slow which gadgets might not be password cookers) with your phone or com- protected. They can simply enter a puter, or turn on lights or music with specific type of device (say, security your voice via an Amazon Echo or cameras), and the search engine will

Photograph by Kate McIndoe rd.com 25 Reader’s Digest

pull up a list of those that are poten- tially unprotected. But when it comes to breaking into your devices, the real firewall—and potential weak link—is your router. Because it’s connected to every on- line device in your home, hacking your router is like picking the lock on your front door. Once inside, thieves can control any connected smart gadget, including its cameras and microphones. Your router can be easy to crack if you don’t change its default password; some tech-support websites list com- mon preset passwords for most router brands and models.

Protect Yourself Changing the de- gadgets altogether. “If you don’t re- fault settings on your devices and ally need to have a smart device at your router to include strong, unique this point, don’t buy one,” says Yotam passwords is essential. Try taking a Gutman, vice president of marketing phrase you’ll remember (“four score for SecuriThings. and seven years ago”) and using its initials (fsasya) as a start, and then HOME ASSISTANTS mix in capital letters, numbers, and symbols. Another safeguard: An at- Danielle, a resident of Portland, tacker who gets to your router won’t Oregon, was surprised to get a call be able to access the devices if they’re from one of her husband’s em- turned off, so plug them into a surge- ployees in Seattle who said he’d re- protector strip and shut off the power ceived a recording on his phone of strip when you aren’t using them. It the couple chatting in their home. also doesn’t hurt to physically block They thought their Amazon Echo— any prying eyes in case they do man- a voice-controlled gizmo that can age to get through your security. A be programmed to adjust your ther- piece of tape or sticky note over a mostat, lights, and more—had been camera you aren’t using will do the hacked. But Amazon investigated trick. Of course, the one surefire way and discovered that the incident had to protect yourself is to avoid these come about by accident. The device

26 november 2018 How to Beat Internet Spies doesn’t take commands until it hears when it senses motion or someone its “name,” Alexa. Somehow, this rings the bell. You need a password Alexa thought it had heard its name, to connect the doorbell to your then further misinterpreted the con- phone, and Echezarreta had shared versation as instructions to record his with his boyfriend. Echezarreta and send audio files to a contact in changed the password twice after Danielle’s husband’s phone—the em- they broke up, so he was shocked ployee who received the recording. when he got e-mails from the ex crit- “With smart devices, we tend to for- icizing his comings and goings from get they’re there. But they’re there to his own house. It turns out the ex record us and collect data—that’s the was watching Echezarreta through business model,” says Gutman. the device: The security settings (which have since been updated) Protect Yourself The odds of home didn’t disconnect users after a pass- assistants accidentally recording con- word change. The ex-boyfriend had versations are low, experts say, and never logged out of the doorbell’s the devices should ask for confirma- app, so he never lost his connection tion before sending information to a to it. third party. But if its volume is low, or if you can’t see the lights on the Protect Yourself When shopping for device that alert you that it has been smart devices, look for models that activated, you might not realize it is allow multiple users. All users will engaged and potentially misunder- have their own log-ins, and you can standing what it’s hearing. Keep the delete individual accounts if you ever volume up and the speakers visible to need to. As an extra precaution, you minimize any potential issues. can also put the device through a fac- tory reset to delete all the data, in- DOOR MONITORS cluding passwords. No matter what, check in periodically to see whether Sometimes breaches in privacy are there’s a software update for the de- personal. Jesus Echezarreta has a vice. If a vulnerability gets patched, smart doorbell that sends live video of you’ll stay one step ahead of the his front door in Miami to his phone hackers.

On the Other Hand Watching a teenager on his smartphone, I realized that the idiom “all thumbs” might be doomed. calvin trillin, writer

rd.com 27 Reader’s Digest

Air Pollution Can Harm Your Kidneys

Polluted air has long been linked to major health conditions such as heart disease, stroke, News From the cancer, asthma, and WORLD OF chronic obstructive pulmonary disease MEDICINE (COPD). A new study based on data from nearly 2.5 million people now adds kid- ney disease to the list. According to the re- searchers, the adverse effects increase as pol- lution levels increase, but even relatively low WHY VEGETARIANS amounts of particulate SHOULD ADD IN B12 matter (which can include bits of dirt, In a National Institutes of Health study, dust, smoke, and soot) vegan and vegetarian participants tended may increase the risk of chronic kidney to score higher than meat eaters on a disease and ultimately depression-measuring scale. While the contribute to kidney results don’t prove causality, it wouldn’t be failure. If you live in surprising if nutritional shortfalls were to an area with poor air blame, the researchers said. In particular, quality, be on the lookout for early signs vegetarians and vegans are often low in vita- of kidney disease. min B12, and animal products are the only They include foamy natural source of this nutrient. However, it’s or bloody urine, itchy possible to reach the recommended levels by skin, puffy eyes, muscle cramps, unusual taking supplements or by eating fortified fatigue, and swollen foods such as soy milk and breakfast cereal. feet, hands, or ankles.

28 november 2018 Photograph by The Voorhes New Smart Dim Light Could Hearing Aid in Make You Dim the Works Working in a poorly Researchers at New lit office isn’t just York’s Columbia depressing—it may University Fu Founda- actually make you tion School of Engi- dumber. In a study from neering and Applied DIABETES Michigan State Univer- Science are developing sity, Nile grass rats who a high-tech hearing aid MEDS CAN spent their days in dim that can help people COMBAT light did not do well on focus on a single voice OSTEOPOROSIS spatial learning tasks in a noisy restaurant or and showed a 30 per- any other setting that’s Because type 2 diabetes cent decrease in the packed with competing affects bone metabo- number of dendritic and overlapping lism, it’s not uncom- spines, the connections sounds. The hearing mon for people with that allow neurons to aid works by monitor- the illness to develop communicate. Rats ing the brain activity osteoporosis. In fact, who were exposed of the user to deter- many medications treat to bright light, though, mine whether he or both diseases. Re- improved their perfor- she is conversing with searchers in the United mance. The study’s co- a specific speaker; it Kingdom and Greece author noted that this then automatically found that metformin, is “similar to when picks that person’s sulfonylureas (such people can’t find their voice out of a mixed as Glucotrol), DPP-4 way back to their cars audio feed and ampli- inhibitors (such as after a few hours in a fies it. In a recent trial, Januvia and Onglyza), movie theater,” sug- almost all the subjects and GLP-1 receptor ag- gesting that light levels found the device onists (such as Victoza might have the same helpful and wanted and Trulicity) work effect on us. Luckily, to continue using it best to help strengthen when the dim rats were beyond the test. bones and control exposed to bright light diabetes. If you suffer again, their brain ca- from both conditions, pacity recovered fully. ask your doctor which of these drugs is best

photograph by matthew cohen photograph by matthew for you.

rd.com 29 Reader’s Digest News From the World of Medicine

Viagra May Reduce ON THE HUNT Colon Cancer Risk FOR THE In an animal study, a “SUPERAGER” GENE small daily dose of the popular male impo- veryone experiences some tence drug Viagra re- cognitive decline as they get duced the formation E older, but how is it that some of cancerous polyps in people seem to suffer little memory the colon by 50 percent. loss even decades after middle age? Viagra raises levels of Dubbed “superagers” by scientists, a substance that helps they are the 80-somethings who intestinal cells form a scored as well as the average 50- to physical barrier against 65-year-old on certain memory tests bacteria and other and at least average for their age in foreign elements. More other assessments of brainpower. research is needed to Research has found that superagers determine whether the have fewer beta-amyloid plaques and same effect would be neurofibrillary tangles, both of which seen in humans. are associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Now a new study indicates Tears Help that one reason why is genetic. Diagnose When scientists sequenced the Parkinson’s genomes of 56 superagers, they found one gene, called MAP2K3, had Researchers found changed more in their brains than that tear samples from is typical. The findings suggest that people with Parkinson’s “superagers may have higher resistance to age- disease had higher related cognitive changes” than the normal aging levels of a toxic form population, said the study’s lead author. of a protein called Does that mean you might as well abandon the alpha-synuclein than healthy lifestyle choices—eating well, exercising those from healthy in- regularly, avoiding stress and cigarettes—that have dividuals. This discov- long been associated with stronger aging brains? ery might one day allow Certainly not. What this new research indicates is doctors to diagnose— that therapies targeting the MAP2K3 gene could and even treat— reduce age-related memory decline for everyone Parkinson’s before

one day—including people with Alzheimer’s. symptoms appear. cohen photograph by matthew

30 november 2018 | rd.com Understanding Medicare Part D isn’t your full-time job. It’s ours.

We’ve teamed up with eHealth, whose helpful team of licensed insurance brokers can provide advice tailored to your specii c prescription needs and help i nd a plan with the lowest costs to you. Talk to a licensed insurance broker today at 844-280-1944 TTY: 711 for FREE advice.*

∗Νο οβλιγατιον το ενρολλ. Μονδαψ το Φριδαψ φροµ 8 α.µ. το 8 π.µ. ΕΣΤ. Reader’s Digest

Guess You’re Not from Around Here YOUR After a trip to Las Vegas, some friends gave me a novelty UFO driver’s license issued by TRUE Area 51. It included a photo of an alien. I en- STORIES joyed carrying it in my wallet. One day, I was in 100 Words * pulled over. I handed the officer my license and waited as he went to his car. That’s when I looked and saw my driver’s license still in Ask Your Father my wallet. I had given the officer my UFO When our three children were young, I would put license. Fortunately, he told me this had made them to bed, hear their his day—and he let me go with a warning. prayers, kiss them good —Donald Brynelsen Schaumburg, Illinois night, and then whisper in their ears, “If you need anything, call Daddy.” In the middle of the night, we would hear a little voice saying, “Daaaaddy.” My husband would hit the floor to see what his little darling wanted. I would cover up my head and smile. When they got older, I told my husband what I had done, and he said, “All those years, I The Donkey Hug thought our kiddos liked me better.” n 2009, I rescued a skittish donkey. Bo came —Helen Sparks from a nearby cattle ranch and now lives oklahoma city, oklahoma I peacefully on my ranch in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana, along with another donkey, three To read more true sto- horses, and two dogs. ries and to submit your But the key to Bo’s successful rehab from nervous own, go to rd.com/ rescue to happy ranch animal wasn’t anything I did. stories. If your story is It was my grandson, Dylan. published in the maga- zine, we’ll pay you $100. * Sometimes 100 words just isn’t enough!

32 november 2018 | rd.com illustrations by Joana Avillez When he was just shy of four years old, Dylan A Mental Exercise came with his parents to spend the Fourth of July Having recently joined with me on their way to Canada for a vacation. a large fitness center in a Bo kept his distance from the grown-ups, but he new area, and being 76 displayed an unusual fascination with Dylan. So years old, I was concerned we decided to introduce them. that after my workout I would forget which was “Move slowly, keep your arms down, be quiet, my locker. On my first day, and stoop down sometimes,” I told my grandson. as I placed my things in Dylan cautiously approached Bo, step by step, the locker, several women holding a soft rubber currycomb. Bo held his were engaged in casual ground, but he seemed intrigued by this little conversation around me. visitor. Dylan rubbed Bo’s shoulders and neck Afraid I’d be distracted and softly with the comb, removing remnants of his not remember my spot, thick winter coat. I said my number—“I’m It’s hard for an almost four-year-old to stay still 86”—in what I thought for long, and impulse overcame restraint. Dylan was a whisper. Apparently made one quick move, and Bo scampered off. But it was louder than I real- Bo and Dylan were not ready to give up. Dylan ap- ized, as conversation proached again. To witness a preschooler learn to stopped and several voices control himself in such a short time was amazing. called out, “You certainly look good for your age!” As we watched, true love developed between this once distrustful donkey and a gentle boy. Over the —Michelle Gabriel san ramon, california next few days, Bo let Dylan throw his arms around his neck, pet his legs, hold his head in his hands, and pat his cheeks. And Dylan felt free to sit at Bo’s feet while Bo carefully nibbled his shirt collar and hair and rubbed Dylan’s back with his bristly chin. Just as Dylan had earned Bo’s trust, Bo showed restraint with Dylan. He hugged Dylan—yes, a don- key can hug—without knocking him off balance. They met again one week later as the family passed through on their return trip. It was almost dark, but Dylan and his dad trekked to the far reaches of the pasture. Bo came to meet them enthusiastically. He is now a changed and trusting donkey. And Dylan is a miracle worker. —Judy Moore Florence, Montana, from Country magazine Reader’s Digest

A man’s bragging about his promotion LAUGHTER to vice president got so out of hand even The best Medicine his wife was annoyed. “Look, being a vice president isn’t that special,” she said. “They even have a vice president of peas at the supermarket!” Not believing her for one second, the man called the supermarket and demanded, “Get me the vice president of peas!” The clerk replied, “Fresh, canned, or frozen?” —Submitted by Norman Middleton Beech Grove, Indiana “Yes, I’m sure the eggs have gone beyond their expiration date.” Four quick jokes that might take some A linguistics professor A voice from the time (and/or Googling) is lecturing his class. back shouts out, “Yeah, to get: “In English,” he says, “a right.” —viralnova.com ✦ Why is o the double negative forms noisiest vowel? All the a positive. However, in My granddaughter others are in audible. Russian, a double nega- wanted a Cinderella- ✦ “Have you any tive remains a negative. themed party, so I two-watt bulbs?” “For But there isn’t a single invited all her friends what?” “That’ll do. language, not one, in over and made them I’ll take two.” which a double positive clean my house. ✦ Who is this Rorschach can express a negative.” — @IGREENMONK guy? And why does he

34 november 2018 cartoon by Bill Abbott I approximated the Black Friday experience CLASSIC ART GETS at home by hurling myself into a wall a INSTAGRAMMED number of times and then ordering online. —Kumail Nanjiani, comedian

paint so many pictures out laughing. “Four!” of my parents fighting? shouts another, again ✦ What do you get cracking up the others. when you cross a joke When a third hollers, with a rhetorical “Twenty-two!!!” forget question? it, they’re all guffawing. artemisia gentileschi/ artemisia gentileschi/ ’ Except the bartender. The crowded diner had “What’s so funny “How I think I look when a sign reading, “Not about just calling out someone tells me I look responsible for per- numbers?” he says. tired.” sonal items.” So Larry “We all know the kept checking on his same jokes, so we gave penitent magdalene, ‘ belongings. Finally his them numbers,” says pal said, “Larry, you’re the first comedian. “To giuseppe arcimboldo/courtesy art history caps ’ driving me nuts. Stop save time, we just shout watching our coats.” out the numbers.” “I’m only watching The bartender mine,” Larry said. decides to try it and “When you realize it’s “Yours was stolen a half yells, “Six!” A dead only Tuesday.” hour ago.” —jewishmag.com silence falls upon the bar. “Why didn’t I get There’s literally no any laughs?” he asks. way to know how many The comedians portrait of emperor rodolf ii, ‘ quinten massys/the national gallery. ’ chameleons are in shrug. “You didn’t tell your house. it right.” —via friarsclub.com — @meganamram an old woman,

‘ Eight comedians are Got a funny joke? It in a bar telling jokes. could be worth $$$. For “Actual photo of me after “Twelve!” one of them details, see page 4 or go I drink a smoothie.” courtesy art history caps. from top: says. The others burst to rd.com/submit. —instagram.com/arthistorycaps

rd.com 35 Reader’s Digest

LIFE WELL LIVED

A third-grade class knows exactly what will brighten an older neighbor’s holiday meal—and it isn’t a roast turkey Thanksgiving for the Soul

By Patricia Sherlock from guideposts

n October, I told the eight-year- their hard-earned money. They had olds in the religion class I teach raked leaves, set tables, washed dishes, in Pompton Lakes, New Jersey, helped with younger siblings. And now about my plan. “I’d like all of you they couldn’t wait to go shopping. to do extra jobs around the house I supervised while they darted up Ito earn some money,” I said. “Then and down the supermarket aisles. At we’ll buy food for a Thanksgiving din- last we headed toward the checkout, ner for someone who might not have pushing a cart filled with turkey and all a nice dinner otherwise.” the trimmings. Then someone spotted I wanted the children to experience a “necessity” that sent them racing. Acts 20:35—that it’s more blessed to “Flowers!” Kristine cried. The group give than to receive. I wanted them to hurtled toward the holiday plants. understand that religion is more than I made a pitch for practicality. It nice theological ideas; that people was more sensible to use any extra somehow have to make it come alive. money to buy staples that could be I hoped they could experience a sense stretched into meals. After all, I pro- of their own power to effect change. nounced, “You can’t eat flowers.” Early in Thanksgiving week, the boys “But Mrs. Sherlock,” came the re- and girls arrived in class clutching sounding wail, “we want flowers.”

36 november 2018 | rd.com Illustration by Chris Buzelli

Reader’s Digest Life Well Lived

Defeated, I looked at the array before The woman brightened. She told the us, mostly good-sized plants in shades children about the animals that lived of rust, gold, and burgundy. But stuck close by, about the birds that flocked in the middle of the display was a pot to the bread crumbs she put out. of preposterously purple mums. “She’ll “Maybe that’s why the Lord sent me like this one,” the children agreed, and this food through you,” she said. “Be- plopped the purple plant into the cart. cause I share my food with the birds.” An agency had given us the name We returned to the car. As we fas- and address of a needy grandmother tened our seat belts, we could see the who had lived alone for many years. kitchen window. The woman inside Soon we were bouncing along a rut- waved goodbye, then turned and ted road to her house. The atmo- walked across the room, past the tur- sphere in the car was definitely not key, past the trimmings, straight to the spiritual. “You’re squishing me!” one chrysanthemums. She put her face

“SHE’LL LIKE THIS ONE,” THE KIDS AGREED AS THEY PUT THE PURPLE PLANT INTO THE CART.

voice announced. “I think I’m scared in their petals. When she raised her of strangers,” said another. Between the head, there was a smile on her lips. squirming and giggling and punching, She was transformed before our eyes. and those ragamuffin purple flowers, I The children were quiet. In that wasn’t sure that any lesson about giv- one brief moment, they had seen for ing and receiving was getting through. themselves the power they possessed We finally pulled up in front of a to make another’s life better. And I had small bungalow tucked in the woods. seen something too. This wonder had A slightly built woman with a weary been wrought not by adult practical- face came to the door to welcome us. ity but by youthful exuberance. The My little group scurried to get the children had sensed that sometimes food. As each box was carried in, the a person needs a pot of funny purple old woman oohed and aahed—much flowers on a dark November day. to her visitors’ pleasure. When Amy put the mums on the counter, the This story originally appeared woman seemed surprised. She’s wish- in the November 1986 issue of ing it was a bag of flour, I thought. Reader’s Digest. “Do you like it here?” Michael reproduced with permission from guideposts. asked. “In the woods, I mean.” copyright © november 1984. all rights reserved.

38 november 2018 | rd.com Treating your COPD and still struggling? Chronic productive cough? Repeated antibiotic use for chest infections?

These may be indicators of bronchiectasis—a common but frequently undiagnosed condition caused by chronic inflammation of the airways.1 Half of people with serious COPD may have bronchiectasis.2

inCourage® Airway Clearance Therapy is a drug-free way to clear excess mucus from the lungs. Ask your doctor if the inCourage System may be right for you.

For a bronchiectasis information kit, call 833.208.5324 or visit www.respirtech.com/be.

We change lives. We help people breathe better.

1. Maselli DJ, Amalakuhan B, Keyt H, Diaz AA. Suspecting non-cystic fibrosis bronchiectasis: What the busy primary care clinician needs to know. Int J Clin Pract. 2017;71(2):e12924. 2. Martínez-García MA, de la Rosa Carrillo D, Soler-Cataluña JJ, et al. Prognostic value of bronchiectasis in patients with moderate-to-severchronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Am J Respir Crit Care Med. 2013;187:823–831.

© 2018 Respiratory Technologies, Inc. All rights reserved. 910172-001 Rev B

Reader’s Digest

WE FOUND A FIX 9 tricks to Improve Your Life*

1 Charge Your Phone Faster technology To boost your battery more quickly, turn on airplane mode. That pauses your phone’s “background noise” (such as random notifications and GPS roaming), which tends to drain the battery. The extra juice won’t be much, but when you’re in a hurry, every little bit helps. * From RD.com reporting

Photograph by Matthew Cohen rd.com | november 2018 41 Reader’s Digest 2 4 Save a Tooth That Has Been Knocked Out Use a Makeshift health If a permanent tooth is accidentally knocked out Humidifier in Your of your mouth, don’t panic. Pick up the tooth by the Hotel Room crown (the chewing surface), gently rinse off any debris, travel The air in hotel and stick it back in your mouth if you can. If not, put it rooms can be very dry. If in a cup of milk (not water!), and get to a dentist as soon your room has a kitchen as possible so it can be reimplanted. area, fill a teakettle with water and heat it on the stove. Let the steam escape into the room until almost all the water has evaporated. This can help relieve coughs, stuffy noses, and other symptoms of colds and allergies. 5 Cut Down on Added Sugar cooking “The average adult in the United States consumes almost three times more added sugar than is recommended,” states Erin Palinski-Wade, 3 RD, author of 2-Day Stop Fido’s Chewing Diabetes Diet. “When pets Got a dog that won’t stop chewing preparing a baked goods recipe, swap out the sugar on its tail, paw, or fur? Paint the spot for pureed prunes. This with myrrh oil, available at drugstores. cuts out the added sugar The horrible taste will discourage the while increasing both the fiber and nutrient content chewing. of the recipe.” susan schmitz/shutterstock

42 november 2018 We Found a Fix 6 Save on a Sam’s Club Membership shopping If you have a friend with a Sam’s Club membership, ask whether you can become an add-on cardholder on his or her account. That way, you get all the perks at a discounted price of $40 a year, down from $100 annually for a Sam’s Plus membership and $45 for a regular membership. 8 Detox Your Dryer Sheet cleaning Manufacturers 9 of fabric-softening dryer Defrost Your 7 sheets aren’t required to Windshield—Fast Stay Awake identify their fragrance auto Because rubbing After That Big ingredients as of yet, and alcohol doesn’t freeze Thanksgiving there are at least 3,000 until it reaches -127°F, it Dinner they could use—some of makes a great defrosting food Forget what you’ve which are safe and some solution. Make a mixture heard about how the of which are not. Even that’s one third water tryptophan in turkey unscented sheets might and two thirds rubbing makes you sleepy on contain toxic chemicals, alcohol, and put it in Thanksgiving. In fact, but a fragrance-free a spray bottle. A few the protein in turkey (as version can reduce your spritzes on an icy well as in chicken and chance of exposure. If you windshield will help you steak) signals the brain to really want to add a scent see clearly in no time. produce dopamine, the to your clothes, put a You can also use it on “motivation molecule” few drops of your favorite your car’s door handles that gives you energy. essential oil on a tennis if they are frozen shut. So what really makes you ball and throw that in sluggish after a big meal? the dryer. The massive portions

mahathir mohd yasin/shutterstock mahathir you just gobbled down.

rd.com 43 ADVERTISEMENT Ask the Expert COCHLEAR IMPLANTS  LIFE BEYOND HEARING AIDS Straining to hear each day, even when using powerful hearing aids? Feeling frustrated and sometimes even exhausted from listening? Whether it happens suddenly or Dr. Thomas Roland, a NYHK\HSS`V]LY[PTLOLHYPUNSVZZJHUHќLJ[`V\ cochlear implant surgeon and medical advisor to physically and emotionally. Cochlear, the world leader *VJOSLHYPTWSHU[Z^VYRKPќLYLU[S`[OHUOLHYPUNHPKZ in cochlear implants, 9H[OLY[OHUHTWSPM`PUNZV\UK[OL`\ZLZ[H[LVM answers questions about [OLHY[LSLJ[YVUPJJVTWVULU[ZHUKZVM[^HYL[VOLSW cochlear implants and OV^[OL`HYLKPќLYLU[ provide access to the sounds you’ve been missing. from hearing aids.

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1 The Nucleus Freedom Cochlear Implant System: Adult Post-Market Surveillance Trial Results. 2008 June. * Covered for Medicare beneficiaries who meet CMS criteria for coverage. Contact your insurance provider or hearing implant specialist to determine your eligibility for coverage. ©2018 Cochlear Limited. All rights reserved. Trademarks and registered trademarks are the property of Cochlear Limited. CAM-MK-PR-303 ISS2 JUL18 Reader’s Digest

cranberry like me thinks of itself as the self-sufficient type. I Am the A Millennia ago, as one of a hand- FOOD ful of fruits native to North America (along with blueberries and Concord ON YOUR grapes), I eked out an existence in the sandy, acidic, waterlogged soil PLATE of glacier-formed bogs and other in- hospitable spots in the continent’s colder regions. In an environment that many plants would have found impos- sible, my shrubby vines flourished, my little green fruits turning white, then pink, then red as autumn deepened toward winter. Native Americans picked my wild berries, eating them dried with deer meat, mashing them into antibacterial poultices for wound healing, and transforming the red skins into dye. When the Europeans arrived, my vita- min C helped them avoid scurvy. Even after I became a cultivated crop (circa 1816), better-nourished modern humans benefited from the anti- oxidants in my skins and flesh, which Cranberries offer anticancer, anti–heart disease, and antibacterial properties. I also help A Healthy prevent urinary tract infections, thanks to my unusual abundance of chemicals Fruit called proanthocyanidins, which keep bacteria from sticking to the tract’s in- Celebrates ner surface. Despite these attributes, my fame Its Holiday could have remained limited. After all, my raw flesh is an acquired taste, to say the least—so tart and tannic that By Kate Lowenstein it takes more than a small amount of

hortimages/shutterstock and Daniel Gritzer sugar to make me palatable. I might

rd.com | november 2018 45 Reader’s Digest I Am the Food on Your Plate THE SIMPLEST SAUCE RECIPE

Put your cranberries in a lidded pot. Add half an inch of water at the bottom, then a generous dose of sugar—one cup per 12-ounce bag of cranberries. Put the lid on and bring the water to a boil; when the steam starts to break things down, uncover the pot and stir occasionally. Cook until the sauce is at your desired consistency: If it gets too thick, add water; if it’s not sweet enough, add sugar; if it’s too sweet, add lemon juice at the end to balance. Season with a pinch of salt. To get fancier, start the cooking process with orange peel that you remove later, or add grated or finely minced fresh ginger. You can also have been a mere novelty that shows sprinkle in cinnamon, clove, star anise, up at the farmers market for a short or tarragon, or spike the sauce with season—the way, say, gooseberries or jalapeño or hot red chili pepper. fiddlehead ferns do, stumping home cooks unfamiliar with how to incorpo- fruits require careful additions of pec- rate them into a meal. tin and acid to properly render them But in 1863, when President Abra- into jams and jellies—which is what ham Lincoln was desperate to offer his this “sauce” really is—but I already war-torn country a small note of unity, contain enough of those two things. So he declared Thanksgiving a holiday with only water and sugar, any kitchen (before then, it had been celebrated rube can easily cook me into a condi- irregularly, on different days in differ- ment that adds zing to an otherwise ent regions). When Gen. Ulysses Grant heavy holiday meal. I am the training ordered Thanksgiving dinner for the wheels for the novice jam maker. troops the following year, he put cran- For decades, I enjoyed the spotlight berry sauce on his precedent-setting during those six holiday weeks when menu. With that, my place on the holi- 95 percent of cranberry sales took day table was cemented. I can only place. That would have been my lot imagine what would have happened forevermore if it hadn’t been for the had he picked applesauce instead. great cranberry scare of 1959, when the My sauce, by the way, nicely illus- federal government announced that a

trates my self-sufficiency: Many other crop from the Pacific Northwest had bigacis/shutterstock

46 november 2018 | rd.com No contracts No cancellation fees

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125% off of $9999 MSRP is only valid for new lines of service. Off er valid 10/28/18 through 12/29/18. 2Monthly fees do not include government taxes or assessment surcharges and are subject to change. Plans and services may require purchase of a GreatCall device and a one-time setup fee of $35. 5Star or 9-1-1 calls can be made only when cellular service is available. 5Star Service tracks an approximate location of the device when the device is turned on and connected to the network. GreatCall does not guarantee an exact location. Car charger will be mailed to customer after the device is activated. Jitterbug, GreatCall, and 5Star are registered trademarks of GreatCall, Inc. Copyright ©2018 GreatCall, Inc. Reader’s Digest I Am the Food on Your Plate

been contaminated with a weed killer. dried-cranberry snack called Craisins With Thanksgiving two weeks away, took off. The ubiquity of these prod- my annual cameo was in grave danger. ucts transformed me from a holiday The two people running for president, specialty to a year-round staple, land- Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy, ing me in granola bars, boxed cereals, appeared before the press to sip my and even cocktails such as the cosmo. juice and eat my sauce in an effort to My unlikely success story isn’t with- assuage the nation’s jitters. “Well, we out its kinks. There’s currently a seri- have both eaten them, and I feel fine,” ous oversupply of cranberry crop, due Kennedy said, continuing drolly, “but to Americans buying less juice. And if we both pass away, I feel I shall have climate change is rendering the warm performed a great public service by days and chilly nights of a northeast- taking the vice president with me.” ern autumn closer to a thing of the Sadly for me, the damage had been past. When temps aren’t cool enough done. Even President Dwight Eisen- at night, I don’t ripen as effectively. hower skipped cranberry sauce that Am I self-sufficient enough to year. He ate applesauce instead. weather changing market demand The scare woke up the cranberry and shifting climate conditions? growers, the majority of which were Only time will tell, but if you put your (and still are) part of a cooperative of money on a persevering sourpuss that hundreds of small farms called Ocean has overcome its share of challenges, Spray. There was a clear need to diver- I wouldn’t blame you for a minute. sify, so Ocean Spray started promoting the cranberry in forms unconnected Kate Lowenstein is the editor-in-chief to the holidays. That’s how cran- of Vice’s health website, Tonic; Daniel berry juice cocktail, cran-apple juice, Gritzer is culinary director of the cran-grape juice, and eventually a cooking site Serious Eats.

How Swede Is It? Pop quiz: Which of these three didn’t originate in Sweden? 1. ABBA. 2. IKEA. 3. Swedish meatballs. The answer came in this tweet from none other than the Swedish government: “Swedish meatballs are actually based on a recipe King Charles XII brought home from Turkey in the early 18th century. Let’s stick to the facts!” The truth dismayed many Swedes, including one who tweeted in response, “My whole life has been a lie.”

48 november 2018 Reader’s Digest LAUGH LINES

Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Cooking tip: Quickly slice a block of cheese by Boil a few gallons at the throwing it through a harp. beginning of the week and — @markleggett freeze it for later. — @swaglordpat I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my Cooking tip: If you cookbook, put too much water Toast on a Paper in your rice, toss a few Towel, 365 Ways. phones in there. — @LizHackett — @UniqueDude2

Fill your I tell people coffee maker that the secret with cake mix ingredient in for an amazingly my cookies delicious yet is “love,” but it’s entirely unex- actually “floor.” Cooking pected Thursday — @ughrevolution morning. Hacks for — @8989belinda Hacks ermolaev alexander/shutterstock

rd.com 49 Reader’s Digest 13 THINGS Surprising Innovations from World War I

By Jacopo della Quercia

Daylight Saving Time The idea of fiddling with the clock 1has been around since antiquity, but it was not until World War I that governments around the globe offi- cially adopted daylight saving time. Why? To conserve resources such as fuel and extend the workday for the war effort. The Germans and Austro- Hungarians did it first, in 1916, and the Allies followed shortly after. To clear up confusion about the concept, the Washington Times used a comic strip to explain the first “spring for- ward” in the United States in 1918.

50 november 2018 illustration by Serge Bloch Wristwatches Hollywood Zippers Timepieces known With so much of Originally known 2as wristlets were 4 Europe in the line 6 as a slide fastener, sold during the 19th of fire, the European the zipper wasn’t mass- century. However, they film industry had to produced until World failed to take off with scale back dramatically. War I, when the U.S. men until World War I That opened the door military requested demonstrated their for the Americans. them for flight suits superiority to pocket Hollywood was still and money belts, which watches in battle— in its infancy, but its were a necessity for particularly for military studios soon made U.S. sailors because leaders who were co- fortunes producing their uniforms didn't ordinating precision at- wartime propaganda. have pockets. tacks. By the war’s end, The war itself provided an entire generation of material for countless Women’s Suffrage young men either had a movies in the 1920s Suffragists had won wristwatch or wanted and ’30s, including 7 victories through- one for Christmas. Wings, the winner of out the western United the first Academy States by 1917, but their Blood Banks Award for Best Picture. support for and in- Blood transfusions volvement in the war 3 date back to the Trench Coats effort advanced their 1600s, but doctors While Charles cause considerably. rarely performed them 5 Macintosh in- With the endorsement before World War I, vented weatherproof of President Woodrow when they were accom- outerwear about a cen- Wilson, the Nineteenth plished by transfusing tury before World War I, Amendment to the U.S. blood directly from Burberry and Aqua- Constitution was rati- one person to another. scutum modernized the fied in 1920. Capt. Oswald Robert- design to keep British son, a U.S. Army Re- officers warm and dry. Disposable serve doctor consulting Today, many trench Sanitary Pads with the British army, coats (yes, that’s why 8Made from recognized the need to they’re called that) wood pulp, the stockpile blood before come with flaps and Kimberly-Clark com- casualties occurred. In rings that were origi- pany’s “cellucotton” 1917, he helped estab- nally created for secur- became a staple in lish the first blood bank ing pistols, map cases, military hospitals as a on the western front. and even swords. more absorbent and

rd.com 51 Reader’s Digest 13 Things

less expensive alterna- flight at Kitty Hawk, Joseph Hubertus tive to cotton bandages. North Carolina. Never- Pilates was interned When the war ended, theless, when the U.S. for being a German the company’s execu- Navy tested the first national. He used the tives learned that Army Curtis N-9 Aerial Tor- time to perfect an nurses had used cellu- pedo on March 6, 1918, exercise routine he’d cotton as sanitary nap- unmanned aircraft be- developed that in- kins, and an affordable came a reality. (Alas, volved rigging springs new product was born. the nation would have to hospital beds, ac- to wait almost a cen- cording to the Pilates Plastic Surgery tury for drones that Foundation. Today, World War I left could deliver pizza.) millions of people 9 thousands of men practice Pilates in stu- scarred and maimed. Soy Dogs dios around the world. British army surgeon In 1918, in Harold Gillies and his 11 Cologne, Ger- Modern colleagues performed many, Mayor Konrad Passports more than 11,000 oper- Adenauer applied for 13 In hopes of ations, mostly on a patent for his novel restoring tourism soldiers suffering from way of preserving meat: throughout Europe, facial wounds from mixing sausage with the League of Nations gunshots. Gillies was soy flour. Although not issued guidelines for knighted for his efforts strictly vegetarian, the uniform passports in and ultimately became method had staying 1920. The standard known as the father of power. Soy products are documents were to in- modern plastic surgery. now a multibillion- clude a cover embossed dollar industry in the with the issuing coun- Drones United States alone. try’s name and coat It’s hard to of arms—the same 10 imagine Pilates basic look they have drones in the skies After World today in most every just 15 years after the 12 War I broke country, including the Wright brothers’ first out, circus performer United States.

Let’s Not Sugarcoat This Of all the bears that could kill me, the gummy has come the closest. @jimmybauer

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Discovering a Lost Brother

By Juliana LaBianca

ieron Graham always knew he Kieron, now 21, sent his saliva sample had an older brother. His adop- in for analysis. When his results came K tion papers, signed and sealed back, he was stunned to find he had a when he was three months old, listed slew of DNA matches for relatives who a sibling named Vincent but no last had also taken the test. Most were dis- name. Though Kieron spent years tant connections, but one match was thinking about Vincent, he could so strong that it was labeled “close never track him down. family.” His name was Vincent Ghant. That changed in December 2017, Kieron looked for him on Facebook when Kieron’s adoptive parents and soon made a possible connection. gave their four adopted children “This is going to sound so wild … AncestryDNA tests as Christmas gifts. but I think you’re my brother,” Kieron

54 november 2018 Illustration by Jonny Ruzzo wrote on Facebook’s Messenger app. “I was wondering what I should say, “I was given up for adoption in 1997 what I should do.” As he waited out- and it says on my paperwork that my side the shop, he heard someone call mother has a son with your name and his name, and he suddenly found your birth date. Her name is Shawn.” himself in a hug with the brother he’d “OMG do you know your real thought about his entire life. name?” wrote Vincent, now 30. The men went inside and talked. “I think it was Tyler.” “We connected,” says Vincent, “like “OMG YES!!! You are my brother.” we already knew each other.” “Wow,” wrote Kieron. One of Vincent’s concerns was that “This is crazy,” said Vincent. “WE CONNECTED The craziness was just beginning. As they talked, the brothers realized LIKE WE ALREADY they lived about 20 minutes from each KNEW EACH OTHER.” other, outside of Atlanta. More mind- blowing, they attended the same uni- versity and majored and minored in Kieron might resent his birth family the same subjects: political science for placing him for adoption. He was and legal studies. relieved Kieron didn’t, and that he’d “We were like, What are the odds grown up in a loving family. we’re separated our entire lives and Later that day, Kieron talked to his then end up at the same school with birth mother on the phone and went the same interests?” says Kieron. to Vincent’s to meet his wife and his Vincent was nine when Kieron was two-year-old daughter, Kieron’s niece. born and remembers caring for his “She looked up at me, and I was baby brother. But times were tough, like, Wow, here I am an uncle and I and Shawn, who worked 15-plus hours have an older brother,” says Kieron. “I a day as a nurse, decided that placing was in shock at that point.” Kieron for adoption would give him Since that first meeting, the brothers the best chance to succeed. have bonded even more. They play flag “She was very emotional about that football together—Vincent is the quar- time, to the point where it was hard terback and Kieron is the receiver— for her to put into words anything and celebrated Christmas with their about what happened,” Vincent says. families. “We’ll keep growing our re- Now the brothers had the chance to lationship until it’s time to leave this make up for lost time. They decided planet,” says Vincent. That shouldn’t to meet at a local tea shop that week. be hard. As Kieron says, “We’ve got “I was really nervous,” says Kieron. years and years to catch up on.”

rd.com 55 Reader’s Digest

I loathe everything about this article except for moi.

56 november 2018 | rd.com COVER STORY

The FU NN IE S JokesT Since the Internet

Edited by Andy Simmons F The U NN I Grumpy Cat catches a E mouse. S t has been 29 years since computer T scientist Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web, and we can’t imag- INTERNET STAR ine life without it. As one humorist noted, W “I put so much more effort into naming Finicky Feline Imy first Wi-Fi than my first child.” Grumpy Cat (that’s her For many of us, surfing is now our major frowning to the left) made form of entertainment: a name for herself in 2012 “9 a.m.: Very busy day today. I need to focus when her dour puss struck and stay off the Internet. a chord with like-minded “1 p.m.: Did you know that Texas has the larg- humans. Kitties, it turns est population of prairie dogs?” — @sortabad out, are the cat’s meow online, and former web editor Emily Huh has a And it’s the primary way we express ourselves: theory why. Unlike dog Facebook: “My kids are perfect.” owners, who can visit dog Instagram: “My kids are beautiful.” parks, “Cat owners don't Twitter: “My kids are why I drink.” have a cat park where they —@XplodingUnicorn can congregate to talk about their cats,” she told In true Digest tradition, we’ve collected the best hellogiggles.com. In other online gags, giggles, and spoofs. Did we miss your words, the Internet is the

favorite? Send it to us at rd.com/laughter. dog park for cat people. elizabeth cohen (computer). renstrom. previous spread: photograph by matthew ltd. imacaquarium courtesy jakeharms.com. grumpy cat,

58 november 2018 Cover Story Reader’s Digest

YELP CRITIC W A Lodging Establishment Got Its Five Stars the Hard Way +++++ “As far as jails go, this is the crème de la crème. First off, you don’t even need a ride here. They pick you up from anywhere in the county. Sometimes AMAZON REVIEW they even get you out of bed and bring W The Beach Toy That you, and it’s all free of charge.” Proves Bigger Isn’t Always Better Yelp.com is one of many opinion machines that “We took this ball to the publish crowdsourced reviews of restaurants, ho- beach, and after close to tels, and more. This writer was moved to satirize two hours to pump it up, the form with a five-star shout-out to an unlikely we pushed it around for resort: California’s Santa Rita Jail. about ten fun-filled min- utes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it hurtling down the beach at about 40 knots. It de- stroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sandcastles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families ... Rumor has it VIDEO COMMENT that it can still be seen W stalking innocent families When Music Meets Nature on the Florida Panhandle.” “And here we see Dizzy Gillespie, storing jazz in his cheeks for the coming winter.” This customer panned the Beach Behemoth 12-Foot Pole-to-Pole This wisecracking (yet rather wise!) one-liner was Beach Ball, but his vivid

courtesy brybelly (beach ball). via youtube (dizzy gillespie) (beach ball). via youtube (dizzy gillespie) courtesy brybelly left on a YouTube video about the jazz legend. review gets five stars.

rd.com 59 Reader’s Digest Cover Story

SHORTCUTS W How a Kid Would Send the Ten Commandments as a Text Message

1. no1 b4 me. srsly. 2. dnt wrshp pix/idols 3. no omg’s 4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r) 5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool VIRAL MEME W 6. dnt kill ppl Celebrating Life’s Little Victories 7. :-X only w/ m8 “Success Kid” originated in 2007 when this 8. dnt steal boy’s mother posted a photo of him online try- ing to eat sand. The Internet wondered, What 9. dnt lie re: bf else could get this kid so excited? Thus was 10. dnt ogle ur born a fist pump for every “Yes!” moment. bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob. M, pls rite on REGRETTABLE TEXTS tabs & giv 2 ppl. W Private Confessions That Go Public ttyl, JHWH. “My blind date arrived. She looks like ps. wwjd? something I’d draw with my left hand.”

Every day for 20 years, “My mouth tastes like poor choices.” mcsweeneys.net has posted a new funny, These anonymous posts on like this heavenly textsfromlastnight.com prove (again) that one by Jamie Quatro the only thing worse than drinking too much

from 2009. is texting a friend about it later. courtesy laney griner

60 november 2018 SOCIAL (AND UNSOCIAL) MEDIA W Witty You Doing on Facebook? Facebook Post: Can’t wknds be longer? Response: Yes, weekends.

(Two Facebook friends held this global exchange.) Amanda: Luisa, I am hungary. Luisa: Maybe you should czech the fridge. Amanda: I’m russian to the kitchen. Luisa: Maybe you will find some turkey. Amanda: We have some, but it’s covered in greece. Luisa: Ew, there is norway you can eat that. Amanda: I think I’ll settle for a can of chile. Luisa: I would love a canada chile as well. Amanda: Denmark your name on the can.

Facebook was founded in 2004 by Mark Zucker- berg and friends in their Harvard dorm room. Now everyone—from kids to parents to Russian trolls—has a Facebook account on which they can whine or heckle whomever they like.

PET GAGS W Meow of the Wild PINTEREST PICKS W Over-Oversharing This decade, Pinterest quickly became the place for users to share photos of their favorite crafts and inventions. That prompted the invention of pinterestyouaredrunk .com, which posts its LOL favorites, including the “Sandra, can you open this thing, bra planter, knit long

courtesy pinterestyouaredrunk.com. via @alsboy bit of a situation here.” — @AlsBoy johns, and “picnic pants.”

rd.com 61 Reader’s Digest

WEB GEMS W One-Liners Written in the Shower ✦ “Your stomach thinks that all potatoes are mashed.” —poopypiratemcgee YOUTUBE CLIP W ✦ “They should Daddy, Can You Come Out and Play? announce a sequel to Created in 2005, YouTube is now the world’s Groundhog Day and largest video-sharing site. Today, almost then just rerelease the five billion videos—from hair-washing tips original.” to bleating goats that sound like men—are —FlyLikeAMouse watched on the site every single day.

The image above is the person of her in- from a clip that has fant brother, toddling been viewed by mil- along in a baby walker. lions. During a live in- With his train of terview on the BBC, thought clearly having American professor gone off the rails, the Robert Kelly is dis- professor is then seen cussing the 2017 pausing, either trying impeachment of the to gather himself or ✦ “This ‘spring South Korean presi- contemplating his forward’ thing would dent. Kelly has been next career move. be a lot more popular talking for just over But there’s hope! if we moved the clocks two minutes when his His wife bursts in and ahead at 2 p.m. on four-year-old daugh- drags the kids out of Monday.” ter saunters in, up- the camera’s view. She —Wobbles42 staging him. Trying to then crawls back in on save the interview, the hands and knees and These posts are from professor shunts her closes the door behind “Showerthoughts,” a to the side. her. But in his Mona channel on reddit.com Not only won’t she Lisa smile, Kelly seems that proves that not all be dismissed, but a to know that his ador- “Redditors” are mad. few seconds later re- ably disruptive family

inforcements arrive in has just gone viral. (2) (clock) courtesy bbc. shutterstock

62 november 2018 Cover Story

FAKE NEWS GRANDMA TEXTS W W Phony Baloney Headlines She’s Adorable When She’s Trying “World’s scientists to Be Hip admit they just don’t like mice” Dear when you get “Eminem terrified as daughter begins dating man home please set raised on his music” out the lasagna from the fridge “40,000 pounds of salsa spill on I-10 near Cabazon, California. CHiPs respond.” Gram you texted the wrong person. “ime travel. Quantum experiment proves t” This isn’t grandpa Oh I’m sorry Because the Internet is where most of us get our sweet pea have news, it’s a great source for parodies too. The a nice day ! first two headlines are from the satirical site Dear when you get theonion.com. The last two are from fark.com, home please set a news aggregator launched in 1999 that invites out the lasagna “Farkers” to write funny headlines for the news. from the fridge Grandma it’s still me. Dear when you get home please set out the lasagna from the fridge Oops silly potato

FAILURES Humor sites such as W boredpanda.com have Mistakes That Take the Cake come to understand The nice thing about the Internet community and revel in the travails is that it’s happy to point out our boo-boos. of people of a certain Since 2008, cakewrecks.com has been sharing age trying to figure out the foibles of bakers who tend to follow their this newfangled device

courtesy cakewrecks.com. shutterstock (2) courtesy cakewrecks.com. shutterstock customers’ instructions to a fault. called the cell phone.

rd.com 63 Reader’s Digest

DAD JOKE FREE VERSE W W That’s Mean! If Only Walt Whitman Had Had Google ... (But He’s Got Wicked Timing)

Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? Pls hurry because I’m going to cry Dad Dad

advertent poetry genre was first shared on googlepoetics.com in 2012. Try it. Simply type in a few words, and let

the search engine do the rest. (norris). oleg kozlov/shutterstock cannon/kobal/shutterstock

CELEBRITY SATIRE W Chuck Norris, Back in Action

“When Chuck Norris “When the bogey- crosses the street, man goes to sleep, the cars have to look he checks his closet both ways.” for Chuck Norris.”

64 november 2018 Cover Story

RECYCLED GAGS W Giving New Life to Old Yuks

✦ A couple of New The other guy whips The clerk examined Jersey hunters are out his mobile phone the paper and told out in the woods when and calls emergency the dog, “There are one of them falls to services. He gasps to only nine words here. the ground. He doesn't the operator, “I think You could send another seem to be breathing, my friend’s dead! What ‘Woof’ for the same and his eyes have do I do?” price.” rolled back in his head. The operator, in a “But,” the dog soothing voice, says, replied, “that would “Just take it easy. I can make no sense at all.” help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” So this British psychia- There is a silence, trist goes online and and then a shot is asks, “What’s the funni- heard. The guy comes est joke of all time?” No, back on the line: “OK, this isn’t a gag. It really now what?” happened, in 2002. Almost two million An Alsatian went to a people from more than telegram office and 70 countries voted on I can help! wrote, “Woof. Woof. more than 40,000 jokes; Woof. Woof. Woof. participants claimed Woof. Woof. Woof. they laughed loudest Woof.” at the gags above.

“Chuck Norris “Chuck Norris “Chuck Norris counted uses pepper doesn’t shower; to infinity ... spray to spice up he only Twice.” his steaks.” takes bloodbaths.”

In 2005, the Internet came to this stunning realization: There is nothing action hero Chuck Norris can’t do! Thus was born the Chuck Norris Fact Generator to celebrate Norris’s feats (albeit hyperinflated) of derring-do.

rd.com 65 Reader’s Digest

DIGITAL DIGS CORPORATE OUTREACH W W The Internet, Go Ahead, Razz Your Customers Its Own Best “Your time is wasted managing Punch Line a social media account.” ✦ “To err is human; —Consumer to MoonPie’s Twitter account to point it out with glee “Buddy, it’s Saturday night and you’re talking to is Internet.” a marshmallow sandwich on the Internet.” — @aparnapkin — @MoonPie back to consumer (Aparna Nancherla) “Wendy’s needs to get rid of the square burger. ✦ “The most uncom- It seems a little too … artificial.” fortable moment in my — @CooperDFranklin day is the time spent “Unlike the super natural circle shape waiting in silence while that hamburgers come in someone searches for when you pick them off the vine.” a ‘funny’ YouTube clip — @Wendys I *need* to see.” — @Evan_Hadfield

✦ “Yelp is a fun game where you try to guess between whether a restaurant is bad or a reviewer is crazy.” — @MikeDrucker

✦ “When someone starts a Facebook post with ‘There are no words …’ you’d better get prepared because SIGN LANGUAGE you’re about to read a W lot of words.” — @josievorenkamp Lost and Found in Translation Thanks to the Internet, we know that Americans Budding comics found aren’t the only ones mangling the English lan- the perfect outlet when guage. These translations, seen on flickr.com and

Twitter began in 2006. news.3yen.com, need their own interpretations. via engrish.com

66 november 2018 | rd.com Cover Story

BEAUTY TIP SPOOF FICTION W W Hate Your Hair? Maybe You’re Going Beloved Bad Lines to the Wrong Kind of Groomer “As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber, he would never hear the end of it.”

✦ “Corinne considered the colors (palest green, gray, and laven- “My dog’s ear is like the perfect picture der) and texture (downy to show your hairdresser if you want beachy as the finest velvet) waves and caramel highlights.” and wondered, How — @kerbiegibbs long have these cold cuts been in my refrigerator?” OVERHEARD ZINGERS W Dialogue That Makes La-La Land Sound The Bulwer-Lytton Even More Out There Than It Is Fiction Contest celebrates purposely Guy staring at ambulance in front preposterous fiction. of Whole Foods: “Somebody must have Above: winning entries accidentally eaten gluten.” posted online from two past honorees. Bouncer: “Sorry, I need to see an ID.” Gotta go. Not Girl: “I told you I’m 30. Why would a fan of spinning anyone lie about that?” hair balls.

Eavesdropping is great sport in many big cities, and there are dozens of sites and social media pages that report the best bits of stolen dialogue from the urban jungle. These come from imacaquarium courtesy jakeharms.com. courtesy grumpy cat, ltd. imacaquarium courtesy jakeharms.com. grumpy cat, courtesy @kerbiegibbs (dog). photograph by matthew cohen (computer). cohen (computer). courtesy @kerbiegibbs (dog). photograph by matthew overheardla.com. Reader’s Digest

SPECIAL REPORT The Nicest Places in America

We often talk today about division in this country, but that is clearly not the whole story. The caring and kindness demon- strated in this year’s Nicest Places in America nominations— almost 500 of them—show how innate it is for Americans to help one another. Their stories are seeds of goodness to plant around the country. As for the winning place—well, if your faith has

been wavering, it will be restored. Being a judge in the Reader’s 78 Digest Nicest Places search is my personal way of saying hope exists all around us. Feel the pure joy of this year’s ten finalists. —Robin Roberts, Good Morning America co-anchor

and Nicest Places in America chief judge credits on page

68 november 2018 | rd.com Clockwise from top left: Mower County, MN; North Riverside, IL; Enoch Pratt Free Library; Kalamazoo, MI; North Evergreen Street; Yassin’s Falafel House; Katy, TX; Bothell, WA. Center, from top: Life Moves Yoga; Ellijay, GA Reader’s Digest

Knoxville, TN And the Winner Is … Yassin’s Falafel House

By Jeremy Greenfield

t was a few days before Christmas 2017, and a crowd had gathered in Market Square in Knoxville, Tennessee, for an annual holi- day event called Welcome the IStranger. It’s a Christian ritual with Jewish roots, where neighbors greet Yassin Terou with neighbors, friends, and anyone else his wife, Jamileh Al who passes by with warmth and Saghir, and daughters compassion, celebrating the season. Shaam (left) and Judy Only this year, not everyone was in

70 november 2018 Photographs by Amanda Friedman Nicest Places in America

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the spirit. As the speakers organized by local churches stood before the crowd to share their holiday thoughts, a man draped in an American flag began yelling that he was out of a job and immigrants were to blame. As it happened, a local restaurateur named Yassin Terou was on the stage prepar- ing to speak. Terou is well-known in Knoxville as the owner of Yassin’s Falafel House. He also emigrated to the United States from Syria in 2011. “I’m lucky to be here. It’s like a blessing,” he says of his adopted homeland. “The American dream to me is like a second chance of life.” He responded to the man by inviting him onstage—Terou wanted them to hold the flag together, immigrant and native-born American. When the man refused, Terou stepped down into the crowd. He ap- proached the man, and they spoke for a few Mayor Madeline Rogero rides Knoxville’s minutes. Come for dinner sometime, free trolley (top); Terou’s employees from Terou offered. And then they shook Bridge Refugee Services, with executive hands. “When you break bread,” he director Drocella Mugorewera (bottom) later explained, “you break hate.” That philosophy is at the heart of compassion. “At any given lunch hour, everything Terou has accomplished. you’ll see power business leaders After only seven years in the United and tourists who were wandering by; States, he has turned his two restau- you’ll see Muslims and Christians and rants into Knoxville fixtures by serv- the breadth of our community sitting ing equal portions of chickpeas and around tables and sharing a meal,”

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Even on the most hectic days in his restaurants, Terou doesn’t run out of smiles. says Tom Ogburn, former pastor of the their orange-and-white Volunteers jer- First Baptist Church, just a few blocks seys. Everywhere Terou went, people away from the downtown restaurant. smiled at him. It was partly because of In case that snapshot of inclusivity the game, of course. But he knew that isn’t clear enough, Terou has put his outsiders aren’t greeted with a smile philosophy on a sign right on the wall: everywhere. “The overall values of our Welcome. All Sizes. All Colors. All community are that we’re welcoming,” Ages. All Sexes. All Cultures. All Reli- Knoxville mayor Madeline Rogero told gions. All Types. All Beliefs. All People. Reader’s Digest. “The expectation is Safe Here at Yassin’s Falafel House. that you treat people just like how Which is why Yassin’s Falafel House you’d like to be treated.” is Reader’s Digest’s Nicest Place in Life was still hard for Terou. He America. couldn’t find a job, even though he had all the legally required papers. Who erou fell in love with Knox- would hire someone who couldn’t ville on his first day in town. speak the language or drive a car? T It was a Saturday in the fall of The small Muslim community in town 2011, and University of Tennessee offered him free food and clothing. football fans flooded the streets in But Terou wanted to work. He asked

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second followed in 2018, and Terou has plans for two more next year. Terou would be the first to admit that, while his falafels are delicious, his secret recipe lies in the mind-set that had him leaping off the stage at the Welcome the Stranger event. “I’m not here just to make falafel and make money,” Terou says. “I’m here to build this community.” His commitment doesn’t stop at his restaurants. When fires hit Gatlinburg, just an hour away, Terou rallied his customers to help, filling a van with their donated food and supplies and driving it to the fire zone. He often holds fund-raisers for the community. When Knoxville recognized him with a Rotary Club Peace Award, he do- nated the $1,000 prize to the Seeds of Abraham, a group that brings together Pastor Tom Ogburn, Terou’s partner in youths from different faiths. goodwill, at the First Baptist Church “Yassin has such a generous spirit whether he could sell sandwiches out- and a generous heart,” Siddiqi says of side the mosque on Fridays after ser- his business partner. “Nobody has a vices. On the first Friday, he sold out. negative feeling toward that.” The next week, he made more, and again he sold every one. Even non- s it happens, Knoxville is a par- Muslims were buying them. That’s ticularly fertile place to plant when a fellow worshipper, Nadeem Agoodwill. The city has a his- Siddiqi, knew he was witnessing some- tory of compassion dating back to thing special. the strong abolitionist streak that ran “I asked him why he didn’t open through the area during the Civil War. up a store,” Siddiqi says. “He said he Today you’ll have no trouble finding didn’t have any money. I had a build- the usual southern hospitality. People ing downtown, an empty spot just readily wave and smile at strangers, sitting there, so I thought, Why don’t and no car sits broken down on the we give it a shot and see how it goes?” highway shoulder for very long before That first shop opened in 2014. A passersby stop to help.

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Sometimes residents even take their told the students about his early life, show of inclusivity on the road. In the which started much as life had for the spring of 2017, Jonathan Williams, a kids in Knoxville. self-described political conservative, Terou grew up in Damascus, Syria’s and Andre Block, a liberal, decided to capital. As a boy he took judo les- bicycle across the country together to sons and learned to play the trom- demonstrate that what unites Ameri- bone. His father was a lawyer, and his cans is stronger than what divides mother stayed home with Terou and us. They talked to people along the his four siblings. He went to college way about what they call the gray and worked in public relations for a area—the things in the middle that Kia car dealership. But he spoke out most people want. The duo ulti- against the government in a country mately pedaled 3,200 miles in 35 days, where that’s not a freedom allowed to from Oceanside, California, to citizens, and in 2010 the secret police Washington, DC, arriv- ing in time to see the July 4 fireworks over the Capitol. They called their program the Unity Ride, and this spring they did it again, biking the route of the Under- ground Railroad, all the way to Toronto. “If you want to grow as a person, you need to be around people who are a little differ- ent than you,” Williams Market Square is a gathering place in says. “We’re all in this together, and Knoxville’s vibrant downtown. Yassin very much embodies that.” paid him a visit. They summoned him n January 2017, a youth pastor at every day for the next month. Most First Baptist asked Terou to talk to days, the interrogators would ask him I a group of kids at a church retreat. one question and then make him Terou and his family (wife Jamileh Al stand in a small room for hours. Saghir and daughters Judy, eight, and Terou applied for asylum and landed Shaam, two) cooked a huge meal. in Knoxville in 2011. He thought he’d Terou took it to the church, where he take English classes at the university

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and move on, but he quickly realized immediate. “It revolutionized the way he was home. “Home is not where they think about their neighbors and you are born; home is where you stay, refugees and what we should do as where you build a life,” he says, calling Americans, first of all, and as Christians, this decision “the best luck in my life.” above all, to welcome all who need a Many people Terou knew in Syria place of refuge,” says the youth pastor, are now missing or dead. He told the Ben Winder. “Some of our students and church kids that he would love to go families prior to that weekend had back to see his family, especially his thoughts that refugees were folks who father, who is very ill, but he can’t. were in some way dangerous. I don’t “Maybe I’d get arrested. Maybe I’d get think that can stick if you meet Yassin killed. I don’t know,” he says. “So the or other refugees like him, because you American dream gives me a second come to know the people they are.” life to be safe and to be here around the American people and build this even years after fleeing Syria, country together.” Terou is determined to help The impact on the teenagers was S Americans who need a lifeline, just as America gave him one. He em- ploys 30 people, many of them refu- gees like himself, people struggling with drug addiction, or women fleeing dangerous situations. Tiffany Haun, 36, has lived at the YWCA a block from Terou’s downtown location since a drug relapse sent her looking for a fresh start. “To work in a positive place, it helps me in so many ways, as in not dreading coming to work,” she says. “And even when I do, Yassin is there to lift me up.” Terou spends time at both of his restaurants every day but Sunday, when the doors are closed so he and his workers can spend time with their families. “It’s my job to help people,” he says. “That’s how we can keep be- Biking buddies Andre Block (left) ing nice and transfer love to our kids and Jonathan Williams saddle up for and our grandkids. I don’t want to be the Unity Ride. the last one who has been helped.”

76 november 2018 obin Roberts has a long history R with Reader’s Digest—she was named America’s most trusted newsperson in our 2013 poll—so we were thrilled that she agreed to be the chief judge for this year’s Nicest Places contest. Still, even we were surprised by how actively she worked with our team. She dis- cussed her passion for this project with editor- in-chief Bruce Kelley.

reader’s digest What made you so excited to be part of Nicest Places? robin roberts Nicest is a way to wave the flag and say, “Don’t give up hope, folks! There &A are a lot of good, sweet, thoughtful people in Meet Our America.” There’s a lot of talk of division in Chief Judge this country. It’s great to show that that’s not The Good Morning America the whole story and to co-anchor on faith, family, and create ambassadors all across the country. friends—the themes she saw underlying all the entries Did you nominate any place yourself? I knew that as a judge I couldn’t nominate it,

Photograph by Amanda Friedman rd.com 77 Reader’s Digest

but my hometown of are and wants what’s feel connected to Pass Christian, Missis- best for Knoxville. You something—it’s just sippi, is the nicest place could understand if so important. in the whole wide world. Yassin had a chip on And we’re even stronger his shoulder, given his Have you always been so and more united than background. But he’s focused on the way peo- we were before Katrina. just the opposite. ple relate to each other? It really bonds a com- I come from a military munity, going through a Some people will be family, and every place tragedy like that. You surprised that a restau- we moved, there was just roll up your sleeves rant could be the Nicest always that person or and find out who your Place in America. family that would make neighbors are real fast. It’s not about how us feel welcome. And many falafels Yassin being of service to oth- Communities going can sell. He’s gotten so ers was my parents’ through things together much from Knoxville in creed. On Thanksgiving, makes for strong bonds. such a short time that they would always have I was really drawn to this is him giving back a service person who the story of Katy, Texas, by shining a light on his couldn’t make it home because I can relate. hometown. You don’t at our table. I would be have to be born some- like, “Is that a cousin?” You visited Knoxville, where for it to become I am grateful that they Tennessee, and the a part of who you are. exposed us to that. winner, Yassin’s Falafel This man—he bleeds House. Did you get a Tennessee orange! Any advice for people sense of why it won? who want their commu- You feel it as soon as You were also partial to nities to be nicer? you walk through those a very different kind of I’d change the old ad- doors. Yassin has just— place: North Evergreen, age from “Treat people pure joy. He makes which is a street in the the way you’d like to be everyone feel included. middle of Burbank, treated” to “Treat peo- You have people in California. Why? ple like you’d want your

Knoxville who may Whether we live in mother to be treated.” free library. from top left: courtesy gina grundmeier. carol spale. enoch pratt . clockwise

have been fed a certain New York or Timbuktu, Nice is not weak. Nice is 69 narrative about immi- I think all of us are just not a four-letter word. grants, but Yassin raising our hand and changes the narrative. saying “Notice me.” For For more of the conver- They see that he’s as a street like this to find sation, go to rd.com/ gratton. center, from top: courtesy life moves yoga. rick lucas gratton. credits from page hardworking as they a way to help people nicest-robin-roberts. texas. courtesy judy courtesy kalamazoo public schools. ashley erikson. photograph by amanda friedman. katy,

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5 6 7 10

9 2 8

3 4 The Top 10 Shining from HOW YOU PICKED Sea to Sea THE NICEST PLACES ✦ In April, we asked for nominations, From a restaurant in and readers sent in 448 entries. ✦ A team of editors narrowed the field to Tennessee to a whole county 70. Then our reporters collected their in Minnesota, this year’s stories, which we shared on rd.com. finalists prove that kindness ✦ We chose 40 places to present to our panel of judges: Robin Roberts, Good comes in all sizes and spirits. Morning America; Randy Taran, Project Happiness; Emilie Starr, Random Acts TV; 1. Bothell, Washington, page 82 Geri Weis-Corbley, Good News Network; 2. North Evergreen Street, page 94 and Paige Brown, mayor of Gallatin, Ten- 3. Life Moves Yoga, page 89 nessee, the 2017 Nicest Place in America. 4. Katy, Texas, page 80 ✦ With advice from the judges, 5. Mower County, Minnesota, page 90 RD editors selected the ten finalists. 6. North Riverside, Illinois, page 83 ✦ You cast ballots on USA Today’s 7. Kalamazoo, Michigan, page 85 10best.com. Total votes received: 62,795. 8. Ellijay, Georgia, page 92 ✦ The judges made their top pick, 9. Yassin’s Falafel House, page 70 which, along with your votes, led us to 10. Enoch Pratt Free Library, page 87 our 2018 Nicest Place in America winner.

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Katy, TX In the Path of a Hurricane

aty, Texas, calls itself “the nearby on Rogers Road. The road was city of churches,” but don’t named after Donald’s grandfather. take the name too literally. Like the Rogerses, many Katy resi- The faith of the 18,000 res- dents didn’t wait for the rain to stop idents of this former farm before running, driving, and paddling Ktown extends far beyond the walls of to rescue their neighbors. “Good old its 100-plus houses of worship. boys in pickups,” as one rescuer called When Hurricane Harvey dumped them, plowed through roads turned five feet of rain on southeast Texas into rivers looking for stranded fami- in August 2017, Katy, about 30 miles lies. When the water was too deep, due west of Houston, took a direct hit. salvation came by boat. Pat Lester Nearly 700 homes and 80 businesses drove his airboat into town from his were damaged or destroyed. Two of the home on the outskirts. He had seven town’s beloved citizens, the Reverend life jackets, so he scooped up seven Donald Rogers and his wife, Rochelle people at a time, starting with preg- Rogers, died as they braved the floods nant women, the elderly, and anyone to check on Donald’s uncle, who lived who was ill.

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out the word to res- cue workers: Come and get whatever you need, no charge. “I’ve never seen anything like Katy,” David Scherff, who hauled his boat from San Antonio, told Katy Magazine. “We helped people in lots of other areas, too, but Katy was amazing.” Other locals found creative ways to pitch in. Shakeib Mash- hood used WhatsApp to raise an army of more than 100 volun- teers who passed out food and water and cleaned up storm- A local family, the Brights, at Katy damaged homes. Animal control Heritage Park, which celebrates the officer David Brown tied a lifeline town’s history from his truck to the city’s animal Other boats came straight out of a shelter, which was surrounded by nearby Bass Pro Shop. The store do- high water, for people to hold on to as nated all 80 boats it had in stock—and they shuttled back and forth to save then headquarters sent dozens more. the stranded animals. “We never even got a bill,” says city The mayor, Chuck Brawner, says administrator Byron Hebert. that’s simply the spirit of their town. “I A 50,000-square-foot Buc-ee’s rest think we just did what Katy has always stop, just built on a new highway done,” he says. “We all got together interchange outside Katy, was stocked and helped each other out. There are with food, water, toiletries, and road so many great stories coming out of trip staples such as batteries and what was a terrible situation, but I’m Band-Aids. The mega–convenience not surprised. Katy has always been store hadn’t even had its grand open- populated by people who care about

katy magazine magazine katy ing yet, but owner Beaver Aplin put one another.”

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irst somebody showed up with a bunch of balloons. Then a cake. Then a big Happy Birthday banner that was stretched across the Fparking lot next to the Beca’s Brew coffee stand. And people just kept showing up, dozens in all. It was a party—just as Beca Nistrian had en- visioned for her pal Will Tinkham. Bothell, WA May 10 was Tinkham’s birthday, and she wanted to surprise him. Pouring Tinkham, 32, was born with devel- opmental disabilities and loves peo- Cups of Joe ple. Nistrian, 30, the spunky owner of the stand in this fast-growing Seattle and Joy outpost of 45,000, thought he was wonderful—and a busi- ness asset. So she pro- posed an arrangement: If Tinkham showed up every day for an hour or two and chatted with the customers at her drive- through window, she’d give him a free drink. Pretty soon, an hour or two turned into the whole day. Nistrian gave him a raise—and put him on garbage detail. “It’s great,” Tinkham told KOMO News. “I have fun being here and have a great day, and she pays Will Tinkham (left) loved the free ride me a lot of money!” his police officer friends, like Chief Carol Nistrian actually thinks she’s getting Cummings, gave him for his birthday the better end of the deal. “He finds the

last year. smallest things to be happy about, and courtesy judy gratton

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I’m over here stressed about minute things. He finds joy in everything.” Not everybody appreciated Tink- ham’s special brand of enthusiasm. Nistrian noticed that some people would ignore him when he’d say hello. “One customer was extremely dis- respectful,” she says. She gave him his order for free and asked him to please never come back. Nistrian was so upset that she posted a sort of ode to Tinkham on a community blog. She also mentioned North Riverside, IL his approaching birthday. Without any more planning or prompting, neighbors showed up to celebrate Kindness with Tinkham on his big day, and he greeted everyone with a hug and By the Book a smile. Among the crowd: four po- lice officers, who gave him a ride in hen we say that resi- a police cruiser—siren on, of course. dents in the Chicago “This is AWESOME!” Tinkham kept suburb of North repeating. Riverside, Illinois, Nistrian was so inspired by all the “wrote the book” on spontaneous good spirit that she Whow to be good neighbors, we’re not proposed that Bothell establish ev- exaggerating. The residents of North ery May 10 as Cup of Kindness Day. Riverside really did write a book on The city agreed, and it even issued a neighborliness that has helped make proclamation that declared Tinkham their town a remarkable place. to be “an exceptional conversation- Neighbors All: Creating Commu- alist with a kind, joyous soul.” Soon, nity One Block at a Time is a 65-page others expanded the good cheer. A manual filled with friendly suggestions church gave a group of single moms (“Be the first to reach out”; “Be con- massages, flowers, and other gifts. The crete in caring”) and inspiring stories, trampoline park let kids jump for free. all designed to build “family bonds” “If you are ever in need of something,” among neighbors. Every household says Joanna Elder, one of the residents gets a copy, delivered by a volunteer who nominated the town for our con- “block captain” tasked with welcom- test, “Bothell has you covered.” ing new arrivals, helping seniors run

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errands, making sure kids play nice, who enlisted the help of their local and more. It’s a big job, but the 90 cap- congressperson, and soon the wom- tains sprinkled across the town of 6,700 an’s paperwork was all in order. don’t do it alone. They’re organized by “I have been in North Riverside their own captain, Carol Spale, and the over 34 years and am very proud of Neighborhood Services Committee, the small-town caring the commu- which appoints leaders of all ages, in- nity demonstrates every day,” Vera cluding a team of school-age “angels.” Jandacek Wilt wrote in her nomina- If all this seems somewhat bureau- tion. “Waters rising in the river, ready cratic, in practice Neighbors All has to flood nearby homes? Residents very much lived up to its title. One cap- and officials are filling sandbags to tain, handing out flyers door-to-door, hold back the floods. Someone is dis- got to chatting with an older couple placed by a fire? Residents step up to who revealed that they couldn’t afford provide food, clothing, and anything to replace their broken stove. Before else the family needs. Lonely seniors long, the Neighborhood Services Com- have not stepped out of the house? A mittee had collected enough money to block captain shows up to invite them buy them a new one. to a block party. This community truly Another resident, a woman from Po- looks out for one another.” land, told her captain that she was hav- Does all this mean that North ing trouble sorting out the paperwork Riverside is perfect? No—neighbors to get her citizenship. The captain told still squabble. Kids still fight. But the the committee, which told the mayor, community spirit that is part of North

You might call this North Riverside’s welcome wagon: its team of “block captains.” courtesy carol spale

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Riverside’s DNA pops up all over town. fire, killing them. The shooter, an Uber At a recent Neighborhood Services driver named Jason Dalton, didn’t Committee meeting, a girl told a story know the Smiths. He was on a rampage about another child she’d seen being that ultimately left four more people bullied at school. The girl had an idea: dead and two critically wounded. She gave him a set of “warrior” dog The story made national news. tags to protect him from the bigger The 76,000 residents of Kalamazoo kids. And so it does—with a little help were shocked, just as the residents of from his North Riverside angel. other cities and towns across America have been when a mass murderer has struck close to home. Folks here also understood that recovering from an episode of gun violence carries its own dangers, given the political pas- sions surrounding the gun control debate. Kalamazoo was determined to respond in the most inclusive, heal- ing way possible. Within days, money poured in for victims and their fami- lies. Nonprofits formed to organize the support efforts. With names such as Kalamazoo Strong and ForeverStrong, Kalamazoo, MI they embodied residents’ focus on keeping the tragedy from defining or With Charity dividing their city. “We need to persevere with one an- and Caring other through the gaping hole where our sense of safety once resided,” for All wrote Kalamazoo College women’s volleyball coach Jeanne Hess in a blog n a chilly Saturday night post. “We need to be there for one an- in February 2016, Rich other when waves of grief overcome Smith and his son, Tyler, us because the national disease of gun 17, stopped at the Seelye violence has invaded Kalamazoo. And Ford and Kia dealership we need to persevere just because this Oon Stadium Drive in Kalamazoo, Michi- event is so terribly sad.” gan. They were standing in the parking Just four months after the shootings, lot checking out a blue pickup truck Kalamazoo was tested again. A driver when a man walked up and opened high on methamphetamine and pain

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In this college town, a charity called Ka- lamazoo Promise has handed out $110 mil- lion to high school graduates since 2006—all of it do- nated anonymously. Here’s the promise: If you go to public school in this city and want to go to college, it’s paid for. The only strings are that you attend one of Michi- gan’s state-supported colleges or universi- Kalamazoo High School grads (left to right) Caitlyn Boyer, Mar’charnae Martin, ties and get good grades. and Lucienne Chou “When I tell people about the Ka- lamazoo Promise, they think it’s fake,” pills plowed into a group of nine bi- says Emily Olivares, 24, who attended cyclists, part of the local Chain Gang Western Michigan University and Bicycle Club, killing five and injur- graduated without a penny of debt— ing the rest in one of the deadliest as did her sister. “The Promise prob- vehicle-bike crashes in U.S. history. ably saved me 500 hours of overtime,” The charities opened their arms a jokes their father, Joseph Olivares, little wider. Kalamazoo Strong paid who works in a factory. the medical and funeral bills for those “I’ve been to nice places,” Em- victims. ForeverStrong, led by Rich ily says, “but there’s nothing like Smith’s widow, Laurie Smith, started Kalamazoo.” planning a memorial to all the bikers She really means it. When Emily and the shooting victims: a park and graduated with her degree in travel soccer center (Tyler loved soccer) that and tourism, she received two job of- would be a bright spot long after that fers: one in K-Zoo, as the locals fondly dark time. call it, and one in China. Guess which “We want it all to be about how we one she chose? go forward,” says Laurie. “I chose here,” says Emily. “I want to Keeping an eye on the future is be here to help build the next genera-

something of a Kalamazoo specialty. tion of my family.” courtesy kalamazoo public schools

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someone’s life,” says Amy Petkovsek, the Legal Aid Society lawyer who runs the program. Lawyer in the Library is staffed by more than 200 volunteers, including local lawyers doing pro bono work and law students. Advice is free for everyone. The program started in 2015 and quickly became a lifeline. Enoch Pratt free library One woman used Lawyer in the Li- brary to escape an abusive husband. Writing a New “Because she knew the lawyers would be in the library, she asked his per- Chapter in mission to come that day,” Petkovsek says. “Now the woman is safely in a Baltimore shelter program.” About 60 percent of what the law- t’s noon on a Tuesday in Balti- yers see is related to expunging crim- more, and a line is forming inal records—removing old, minor outside the Enoch Pratt Free offenses, for example, or excising Library’s Pennsylvania Avenue charges that were filed but for which branch. One at a time, people the person was never convicted. Iwalk up to the end of the line, some “In many cases, we can clear a per- clutching folders bulging with papers, son’s entire record,” Petkovsek told On others empty-handed. All are waiting the Record, a public radio show. for the clock to strike 1 p.m., when Shannon Powell had a record go- the Lawyer in the Library program ing back to 1986. “It looks kinda bad,” will open its doors to anyone looking she admits, “but that’s not me.” People for advice or assistance from an attor- didn’t want to hire her, she says, until ney. Those seeking help range from Lawyer in the Library helped clear her veterans who can’t navigate their way slate. “Now I have a job where I work through the complicated benefits sys- with 12 homeless women,” she says tem to get what’s coming to them to proudly. “When I see them, it gives folks who got into trouble with the me the ability to give them the same law and aren’t sure how to move for- love that Miss Amy gave me the day I ward. Some weeks, 600 or 700 people walked into that library.” show up. Enoch Pratt—named for the library “Just five to twenty minutes of a system’s first benefactor—has long lawyer’s time can literally change been a beloved institution in a city

rd.com 87 Enoch Pratt is something of a community Social Worker in the Library program, center, but books are its beating heart. which functions like the lawyer pro- gram. McCorkell shared the story of ravaged by some of the highest rates a social worker who helped a man of violent crime in the nation. learn to read—and the heartwarm- “If you go around Baltimore, nearly ing outcome. One day the man stood everyone has a Pratt story,” says up during a group session and told Meghan McCorkell, the library’s di- everyone he was able to pay a bill on rector of marketing and communica- time because he could read what it tions and its Nicest Places nominator. said. Then he read aloud from a chil- Some were helped by the lawyers; dren’s book. There wasn’t a dry eye some can proudly say they have a job in the house. “These stories happen thanks to Pratt’s award-winning Mo- every day inside the Pratt Library,” bile Job Center. It’s a modern twist on McCorkell says. the old bookmobile: a bus that travels Of course, you can still check out around the city equipped with com- books at Enoch Pratt. But as of this puter terminals and specially trained year, if you’re late returning them, workforce librarians. you won’t have to pay an overdue fine.

Still others are grateful for the new Now that’s nice. free library courtesy enoch pratt

88 november 2018 Nicest Places in America Reader’s Digest

motivated Beth and the rest of the Funks to open the Life Moves Yoga stu- dio, across the street from Fort Hood, in February 2017. On any given day you might find them all on their mats. Paul Funk II is fluent in sun salutations and one- legged tree poses. His 78-year-old father comes, too, as does Beth’s 82-year-old mother, Betta Yeosock. Civilians are welcome, but the 1,000-square-foot studio caters to sol- diers and veterans and their spouses. As students arrive for classes, teach- Life moves yoga ers greet them by saying “Welcome Warriors Go to the Mat

rmy Lt. Gen. Paul E. Funk II is no stranger to stress. He has led soldiers in combat for years, from Operation Desert Shield to recent ef- Aforts in Iraq and Syria. After his fifth tour, Funk took the helm at Fort Hood, in Killeen, Texas, one of the world’s biggest military bases. He was born there, when his father, Paul Funk Sr., who served in Vietnam and Desert Storm, was commander in chief, and he and his wife, Beth Funk, even got married in the base chapel. As a legacy soldier, the younger Paul Funk knows it’s not just the people wearing uniforms who serve—the Military families unite in side plank whole family lives in the pressure pose, which builds balance and upper

courtesy life moves yoga cooker of military life. That’s what body strength.

rd.com 89 Reader’s Digest Nicest Places in America

hOMe,” with emphasis on the om yoga mantra. The studio’s goal is to help build physical and mental strength even when people are battling wounds, whether seen or unseen. “Halfway through my husband’s de- ployment, I realized I had been hold- ing my breath,” says Candace Jackson, who has been a client at Life Moves since it opened. “So just being invited, and encouraged, to breathe on pur- Mower County, MN pose truly helped me endure the rest of the deployment and get through it.” Life Moves also holds classes spe- One cifically for older people and for those in wheelchairs. On Wednesday Bathroom nights, there’s the “Warriors at Ease” class, which caters to soldiers over- at a Time coming physical and mental trauma and is taught by the Funks’ daughter, n a state where the unofficial Amanda Brown. “My parents raised motto is “Minnesota Nice,” Mower us that you have to give back in some County may just be the nicest way,” she says. place of all. There’s actually Until recently, the class was paid for a Community Pride and Spirit by a grant. When the funding dried Icommittee whose sole purpose is to up, Life Moves kept the class going on inspire people to do nice things for its own dime and has since trained one another. Among its initiatives are more teachers in this special kind of a youth-mentoring program and a adaptive yoga. It is clearly a valued “good graffiti” volunteer group. That investment. piece of profanity that once graced a “By the time I got out, I couldn’t fence near Mill Pond? It disappeared do a push-up, because I couldn’t behind a mural that featured three put pressure on certain joints,” says simple words: You Are Beautiful. Caity Underwood, 31, who served in Gina and Todd Grundmeier learned the Army for seven years, until medi- all about that beautiful spirit shortly cal problems forced her to retire. Af- after they moved to the county in 2010. ter just a few months at Life Moves, Their house burned down, and they she can do many. Now, she says, and their four kids lost everything. “Wednesday is my favorite day.” “There were times we were scrounging

90 november 2018 Jason Ferch with the crew that remodeled his bathroom

just to buy a gallon of milk,” says Gina. back to the community,” says Gina. Right away, neighbors started drop- Local contractors donate materi- ping off meals and clothes. als and labor, and T’NG oversees the “These folks gave us our first real pipes and installation. They’ve done taste of what community love is all five so far, including one for a woman about,” says Gina. awaiting a kidney transplant, one for The next year, Todd and Gina were a couple who’d lost their son and back on their feet. They started a their daughter to suicide, and one for plumbing business called T’NG, a a paraplegic man who’d been scrap- combination of their first names. ing his knuckles on his too-small They also agreed to combine their bathroom door frame for 14 years. efforts to do something great for “This was better than winning the their neighbors in the best way they lottery,” says Becky Josephson, whose could. Every year, T’NG Plumbing re- new bathroom allowed her to get an models the bathroom of one family in in-home dialysis machine. “The lot- need—for free. “I just wanted to find tery is just money. The love that con- courtesy gina grundmeier a way to reciprocate and give that tinues afterward is a life thing.”

rd.com 91 Reader’s Digest

Ellijay, GA Scooching Over to Make Room

here’s nothing warmer until there was enough space for the than a hearty breakfast on couple to pull up two chairs at the a cold morning, especially end of a table. Breakfast, and cama- when it comes with a side raderie, was served. order of small-town hospi- “After an hour, we had made too Ttality. Just ask Steve and Marie Cortes. many friends to count,” Steve says. On a trip from their home in Flor- The hospitality may have surprised ida one cold January morning, the the Corteses, but Ellijay is famous in Corteses decided to pull into Ellijay, these parts for taking care of others. Georgia, a town nestled in the Blue When an epic thunderstorm roared Ridge Mountains about 90 minutes through the town in July, dozens of north of Atlanta. They parked in the residents were trapped in their homes thriving town square not far from the by fallen trees—or unable to stay in old-fashioned clock tower and walked their homes at all. Without even be- into the Cornerstone Café, only to ing asked, neighbors offered neigh- find it jam-packed. Just as they pre- bors food and comfort. “This is the pared to take their bellies elsewhere, most amazing place I have ever lived! one of the diners motioned them Every time I think about it I actually over. “We can make room,” he said. get emotional,” one woman wrote on In fact, several diners scooched over Facebook. “Thank you for coming to

92 november 2018 Nicest Places in America

The fertile soil here is especially suited to growing apples; the Blue Ridge Mountains surround acres of orchards.

also in the works, with the proceeds earmarked for the farm families. “I came to the United States from Mexico not knowing any English, and I’ve always felt very welcomed by my peers and the teachers in the commu- nity,” says Maria Gonzalez-Santos, 21, a biology major at the local commu- nity college. When Gonzalez-Santos’s father was picked up and held at an ICE de- tention facility after his work permit had expired, community members did everything they could to lend the family a hand. “People were con- my house, picking up my generator, stantly checking up on us, asking if working on it, then bringing it back we needed help paying bills, trans- to my house at 10 p.m. and hooking portation, food—people who my dad it up for me. Thank you for the deli- has worked for, several of my teach- cious chicken and dumplings and ers, and my employer as well,” says fresh pineapple.” Gonzalez-Santos. “Regardless of their Trees connect many folks in this political stances, we’ve always felt town of 1,700—Ellijay bills itself as the support here. I am very thankful for apple capital of Georgia. For the most this community. It’s shaped me into part, the folks who pick the Granny the person I am today.” Smiths, Fujis, and Honeycrisps are Ellijay’s spirit of acceptance has a workers from Mexico and Central way of getting into people’s blood. It America. In some towns, the welcome happened to Steve and Marie Cortes mat might have been pulled out from too. The couple that was just driving under the new arrivals. But the people through town those many years ago of Ellijay have made room. The Gilmer felt so welcomed that they wound up Learning Center now teaches English moving to Ellijay. They even opened as a second language, while the Cath- a store—WhimZ, a children’s clothing olic church offers Mass in Spanish. A boutique. It is located right next door

courtesy rick lucas charity fashion show and auction are to the Cornerstone Café.

rd.com 93 Reader’s Digest Nicest Places in America

house/dog sitter. Our neighbors across the street jumped right in to save the day, or days, as it was. They fed our dog, checked her water, made time to play with her, and even took her for walks. This neighborhood is the best I’ve ever lived in, so familylike, friendly, helpful.” —Dorothy B. )“My neighbors found a stray pig in their yard that was obviously some- one’s pet. I was walking my dog when I saw them giving the pig carrots and apple slices. I wrote a post to see if anybody knew where it belonged. Be- fore my walk ended, the pig had found his way home thanks to this group!” North evergreen street —Susan S. Is this somewhere in small-town Small Town America, perhaps, maybe out in farm country? In fact, North Ever- in the green Street is in Burbank, California, which is part of the Los Angeles metro Big City area, smack in the middle of the most populated county in the country. Bur- an you guess the location bank is famous for its TV studios, and of North Evergreen Street its charming streets showed up in The from these descriptions left Wonder Years. But instead of being a by residents on its commu- fabricated Hollywood version of a nity Facebook page? small town, this close-knit neighbor- C)“A series of unfortunate events led hood is the real thing. me to leave my house with my front You can drive right onto North Ever- door wide open. Andre, our mail- green; there are no guards to stop you, man, alerted my neighbors, who not as you’ll find at countless gated com- only locked my house up for me but munities nearby. The homes sit on tidy checked for any bogeymen too!” yards, not on estates so big you can’t —Ann M. even see your neighbors. Folks wave )“We recently went on a long week- when you pass by, and when you get end getaway only to find that we had home you might find a dozen eggs from forgotten to leave the key with our the backyard coop next door waiting

94 november 2018 on the porch or a bag of limes hanging The neighborhood’s year-round warmth— from your doorknob. These neighbors in spirit and weather—makes for frequent just like to share. “Over the years, we’ve block parties. given and received oranges, lemons, limes, grapes, tomatoes, squash, avo- made—and shared—18 pizzas. That’s cado, kale, jalapeños,” resident Jane just why people such as Amruta S. H. says. Recently Jon O. posted in the move to North Evergreen: “I want my Facebook group that he would fire up son to know what living in a village his outdoor pizza oven for anyone who feels like.” Even if that village is in the

courtesy ashley erikson felt like coming over. He ultimately heart of La-La Land.

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“What time do the submarine to travel turkeys get in?” from Florida to All The receptionist, California ... going in a Day’s without thinking, underneath the WORK responded, “Everyone country. starts at eight.” ✦ I had a student who —Ed Robinson wrote an art history Warminster, paper about “Leonard Our company gives out Pennsylvania Davin Chi.” Thanksgiving turkeys ✦ I walked into a class- to retired employees. Pearls of “wisdumb” room where the pro- All they have to do from less-than-stellar fessor was in the midst is stop by the plant to students: of an angry lecture on pick them up. A few ✦ I had a girl in my plagiarism because days before the holiday, class ask how long one of his students had a retiree called to ask, it would take for a turned in an essay that

96 november 2018 Cartoon by Susan Camilleri Konar Hard to believe, but many of our customers PAGE-TURNERS at the bank still don’t know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Four librarians share One teller complained that she kept getting conversations that odd looks every time she explained how made their days. it’s done. I found out why when I overheard ✦ During story time, her tell one man, “Strip down facing me.” I read a book that —GCFL.net mentioned doughnuts growing on trees. started with: “In my want to hear a song?’ Me: “I want to live in a world where doughnuts 25+ years of experience So we sing, ‘She loves grow on trees!” in this field ...” you, yeah, yeah, yeah ...’ ✦ Child: “I want to live in I teach French. I’d and he listens to the a world where bananas given everyone in class whole song. Then he grow on trees.” a lengthy piece of said, ‘That’s very nice, French homework. One but son, there’s enough ✦ A patron’s question student put the entire of these Americanisms for the reference desk: assignment into Google around. Couldn’t you “Can you come and Translate, but trans- sing, She loves you, yes, get a raccoon out of my lated it into Spanish. yes, yes?’” house?” —reddit.com I asked a patient to ✦ A patron came up On The Late Late Show, write the Medicaid to the desk to check out Paul McCartney told number from his card a book. Me: “I’m so sorry, host James Corden how on his form. This is but you won’t be able he and John Lennon what he wrote: “The to check out since you wrote the Beatles hit Medicaid Number.” owe $173.” “She Loves You” in —pleasefireme.tumblr.com Man: “173? That’s how McCartney’s childhood much I weigh too!” home: “We’re just finishing it up, John Anything funny ✦ A six-year-old girl and I, and we were like, happen to you at work? asked me: “Do you have ‘Oh, that’s it. Let’s play It could be worth $$$. any books about how to it for my dad.’ So we For details, go to make boys cry?” say, ‘Dad, Dad, you rd.com/submit. —iworkatapubliclibrary.com

rd.com 97 Reader’s Digest FASCINATING FACTS

The Secret Lives of LETTERS

They may be small characters, but there are amazing stories behind all 26 alphabet all-stars

By Brooke Nelson Illustration by Gonçalo Viana

rd.com | november 2018 99 replace them with College administrators six letters he’d invented redesigned the grading himself. He claimed system in 1898, profes- that he could simplify sors worried that stu- the English language. dents would think the grade meant “excel- Contrary to lent.” F more obviously popular belief, stands for “fail.” D the D in D-day does not stand for Both G and C “doom” or “death”—it were originally stands for “day.” The G represented by military marks impor- the Phoenician symbol the capital A tant operations and gimel, which meant hasn’t always invasions with a D as a “camel.” It was the A looked the way placeholder. (So June 5, Romans who finally it does now. In ancient 1944, was D-1.) separated the two Semitic languages, the letters, letting C keep letter was upside down, meet the “Smith” its shape and adding a which created a symbol of the English bar for the letter G. that resembled a steer E alphabet—e is with horns. used more often than The Brits have any other letter. It long had an h Grab paper and appears in 11 percent H hang-up, ac- pen and start of all words, according cording to Michael B writing down to an analysis of more Rosen, author of Alpha- every number as a than 240,000 entries in betical: How Every Let- word. Do you notice the Concise Oxford ter Tells a Story. They one missing letter? If English Dictionary. pronounce h two ways: you kept going, you “aitch” and “haitch.” wouldn’t use a single Anyone educated Accents that dropped letter b until you in today’s school the h from words were reached one billion. F system knows once considered lower that the lowest grade class, Rosen writes. Benjamin Frank- you can get is an F. The And in Northern Ire- lin wanted to low-water mark, how- land, pronunciation C banish c from the ever, used to be repre- distinguished Catholics alphabet—along with j, sented by the letter E. (“haitch”) from Protes- q, w, x, and y—and When Mount Holyoke tants (“aitch”).

100 november 2018 Fascinating Facts Reader’s Digest

Funnily enough, Why? Sports fans use this may be the the dot over the the letters W and L as most versatile I letters i and j has a shorthand for “win” P letter in English. funny-sounding name: and “loss.” Because the It’s the only consonant It’s called a tittle. Roman numeral for that needs no help in 50 is L, the NFL worried forming a word sand- this is one of the that Super Bowl L wich with any vowel: two letters that do would be, in PR terms, pap, pep, pip, pop, pup. J not appear on the a big loser. periodic table. (Q is One out of the other.) Invented in You can’t say every 510 letters the 1500s by an Italian, the letter m Q in English words j was also one of the M without your is a q, making it the last letters to be added lips touching. Go ahead least common letter in to the alphabet. and try it! the English alphabet, according to a Concise With the possi- The letter n Oxford English ble exception was originally Dictionary analysis. K of L (see below), N associated with K is the most notorious water—the Phoenician sometimes letter in sports. It’s how word for n was nun, referred to as baseball fans record which later became Rthe littera canina, a strikeout. (When the the Aramaic word for or the canine letter, first box score was “fish.” In fact, the capi- because Latin speakers written back in 1859, tal N got its shape be- trilling it sound like a S was used to indicate cause it was a pictorial growling dog, r gets a a sacrifice; K was representation of a shout-out from William plucked from the end crashing wave. Shakespeare in Romeo of struck.) and Juliet when Juliet’s Only four nurse calls the letter The National letters (a, e, l, o) “the dog’s name” in act Football League O are doubled at 2, scene 4. L has traditionally the beginning of a used Roman numerals word (aardvark, eel, The English to denote the number llama, ooze, etc.), alphabet briefly of the Big Game, but for and more words start S included a letter the 50th Super Bowl, with double o in En- called a “long s.” U s e d they decided to go with glish than with any from the late Renais- just the number 50. other pair. sance to the early

rd.com 101 Reader’s Digest Fascinating Facts

1800s, it resembled silent. Even usually René Descartes, who the letter f but was conspicuous letters used the last three pronounced as an s. such as j and z are letters of the alphabet You’ll see it in various silent in words we have to represent unknown manuscripts written borrowed from foreign quantities in his book by the Founding languages, such as The Geometry. He chose Fathers, including marijuana (originally a a, b, and c to stand for the Bill of Rights. Spanish word) and known quantities. laissez-faire (French). The term T-shirt the switch- refers to the T Ever wonder hitter in the T shape of the gar- why we call Y alphabet, y ment’s body and W it a double-u functions as both a sleeves. F. Scott Fitzger- instead of double-v? vowel and a consonant. ald is believed to be the The Latin alphabet The Oxford English first to use the term in did not have a letter Dictionary actually popular culture, in to represent the w calls it a semivowel 1920, when the main sound in Old English, because while the letter character in his novel so seventh-century stops your breath in This Side of Paradise scribes just wrote it as words such as yell and brings a T-shirt with uu. The double-u sym- young—making it a him to boarding school. bol eventually meshed consonant—it also together to form the creates an open vocal Before the letter w. sound in words such as 1500s, u and v myth or hymn. U were used inter- From “X marks changeably as a vowel the spot” to Believe it or not, or a consonant. A X “solve for x,” this the letter z has French educational re- is the go-to letter to Z not always been former helped change represent something the last letter of the that in 1557 when he unknown. The idea is alphabet. For a time, started using u exclu- believed to have come the Greeks had zeta in sively as a vowel and from mathematician a respectable place at v as the consonant. number seven. sources: the concise oxford english dictionary, this is the dictionary.com, fonts.com, gizmodo.com, grammarly.com, only letter in merriam-webster.com, the English oxforddictionaries.com, V rollingstone.com, language that is never todayifoundout.com

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By Sari Harrar Illustrations by James Steinberg

104 november 2018 | rd.com Reader’s Digest Reader’s DigestDi"est

rthritis. If the word makes you think about older folks with creaky knees and jumbo bottles of ibuprofen, you need an update. Arthritis now strikes an estimated 91 million American adults, according to a new study, and 30 percent of them are ages 18 to 64. By far the most Acommon type, which affects 57 percent of Americans with arthritis, is osteo- arthritis, followed by gout (27 percent of cases), psoriatic arthritis (14 per- cent), and rheumatoid arthritis (3 percent). There is no cure for any of them, but science has made several breakthroughs in understanding how to treat the inflammation and pain that come with the condition as well as how to halt the underlying joint damage. The first line of defense: Educate yourself.

PhD, a researcher at the Thurston OSTEOARTHRITIS Arthritis Research Center, they don’t (OA): Wear and tear of the cartilage protect joints from progressive dam- cushion between joints that can age and may have serious side effects. often cause—and in some cases result from—chronic inflammation. When people with osteoarthritis 3 used NSAID gels, drops, or patches, Old-fashioned X-rays are the half said their pain fell by 50 percent 1 best diagnostic tool. A Washington or more over 12 weeks. Because these University study noted that X-rays can versions are rubbed onto your skin, diagnose OA as accurately as mag- less of the drug gets into your blood- netic resonance imaging (MRI)—and stream, which reduces the risk of they do it faster and more cheaply. gastrointestinal bleeding, heart prob- Identifying arthritis early gives you lems, and other side effects. That said, time to turn to lifestyle changes (see do not use these topical treatments if page 111) before irreversible damage you have kidney disease or are also is done to your knees (the most com- taking oral NSAIDs. mon pain point) or other joints. A 2018 study of 240 osteoarthri- The customary treatment for 4 tis patients showed that those who 2 OA doesn’t repair joints. Up to took opioids were in slightly more 85 percent of osteoarthritis sufferers pain after a year than those who took try nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory non-opioid medication. The research- drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen. ers aren’t sure why, but given that Though they can be effective at getting these drugs can be very addictive, you through the day, says Kelli Allen, they recommend against opioids.

106 november 2018 Health & Medicine

Arthritis hurts your heart by cortisone, a steroid, not only didn’t 5 contributing to chronic inflamma- control pain but also actually led to tion, reducing physical activity, and more joint damage. increasing NSAID use—all factors in cardiovascular risk. All told, research- The jury is still out on other in- ers estimate that OA boosts your odds 8 jectable treatments. Hyaluronic for heart disease by 24 percent. (Psori- acid injections are designed to add atic and rheumatoid arthritis raise the more shock-absorbing fluid to joints, odds even higher.) but research on their effectiveness is mixed. Similarly, new injectables Australian researchers who using your own fat, bone marrow, 6 reviewed the evidence for 20 top- platelet-rich plasma, or stem cells selling herbs and dietary supplements promise relief, but Dr. McAlindon says “the research isn’t sufficient to show if they actually work” to ease pain and rebuild joints.

Insomnia is an often under- 9 treated side effect of arthritis, but there are fixes. Lack of sleep can intensify sensitivity to pain, a problem for OA patients, accord- ing to a Johns Hopkins University study. Cognitive behavioral ther- apy, which helps people change the distorted thinking that can worsen pain levels, has been used to treat osteoarthritis concluded shown to increase the amount of time that three—Boswellia serrata extract, osteoarthritis sufferers slept—and pre- pine bark extract, and curcumin—are sumably decreased their pain. most effective in reducing inflamma- tion and pain in the short term. A new device called Coolief 10 uses specialized electrodes to Cortisone injections don’t help send water-cooled radio waves into 7 in the long term. “A single shot can the tissue around your knee, which ease pain,” says Timothy McAlindon, temporarily deactivate nerves. Pa- MD, MPH, chief of rheumatology at tients reported greater, longer-lasting Tufts Medical Center. But a recent pain relief (up to 12 months) with study found that repeated shots of Coolief than with cortisone injections.

rd.com 107 Reader’s Di"est

Stem cells could save joints— 11 someday. Scientists have pro- grammed stem cells to grow new cartilage on a 3-D template shaped like the ball of a hip joint. Using gene therapy, they have also activated the new cartilage to release anti- inflammatory molecules to fend off a return of arthritis. But the stem cell therapy offered for knee osteoarthritis in many clinics isn’t yet a proven cure. RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS (RA): The immune system attacks the fluid that lubricates joints, causing in- six months of the onset of pain and flammation and destroying cartilage. stiffness can curb symptoms and pre- vent further damage. Unfortunately, a A new drug could prevent RA. 2016 national survey found that it took 12 Early results from one study people with RA four years and visits to showed that for people with mild joint at least three different doctors to get a aches and high inflammation levels, proper diagnosis. one shot of rituximab cut the risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis in Early arthritis clinics are half. The drug blocks production of 15 showing great promise. Focused compounds that trigger inflammation. on treating rheumatoid arthritis pa- tients with a recent diagnosis, clinics So could vitamin D. In another have opened at the University of Roch- 13 study, researchers found that ester Medical Center, Oregon Health people with low blood levels of vita- and Science University, and many min D, which boosts immune function, private facilities. In one study, 89 per- were at higher risk for RA. (One great cent of RA sufferers treated at an early free source of vitamin D: sunshine.) arthritis clinic got disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs (DMARDs) It’s possible to put rheuma- in three months, compared with 14 toid arthritis into remission. 50 percent who got care elsewhere. While there’s no way to reverse joint The clinic’s patients had higher remis- degeneration, getting treated within sion rates as a result.

108 november 2018 Health & Medicine

Menopause worsens the Biologic drugs—such as 16 symptoms of rheumatoid arthri- 20etanercept (Enbrel), golim- tis. A 2018 study of 8,189 women in the umab (Simponi), and adalimumab journal Rheumatology confirms some- (Humira)—are engineered from hu- thing women with RA have long expe- man genes. They work by targeting rienced: Joint degeneration speeds up specific parts of the inflammation after menopause. Early menopause process rather than suppressing the can trigger the disease too. immune system in general (as older DMARDs do), so they tend to have Rheumatoid arthritis can fewer side effects. Unfortunately, they 17 raise your risk for certain types are also more expensive than tradi- of cancer. Lung cancer, lymphoma, tional medications. and multiple myeloma are more common in people with RA, partly Genetic profiling could soon due to inflammation and partly be- 21pinpoint which drug classes or cause RA drugs suppress the immune even individual drugs will work for system. you. In a new multisite study pub- lished this May in the journal Arthritis One DMARD does not fit all. & Rheumatology, researchers ana- 18 “DMARDs can put RA into re- lyzed joint tissue from 41 rheumatoid mission, but a drug may stop working arthritis patients to determine which after several years. Some people have gene variations each individual had to try several before they find the one and how they responded to each type that works best,” says David Daikh, of drug. Next they hope to predict MD, PhD, outgoing president of the which patients will respond best to American College of Rheumatology. specific drugs based on their genetic signature, saving time and money. Tumor necrosis factor (TNF) 19 is an inflammatory protein re- Nerve stimulation could sponsible for pain and cartilage de- 22 reduce joint damage. In one generation in RA, and drugs called small study, when patients with rheu- TNF inhibitors can sometimes block matoid arthritis were zapped with it. And if one TNF inhibitor—such as mild electrical current to the vagus etanercept (Enbrel) or adalimumab nerve (which passes through your (Humira)—doesn’t work, try another. neck to your abdomen), the charge In a recent study, 43 percent of pa- reduced their levels of TNF, the same tients who didn’t respond to one type inflammatory protein targeted by TNF of TNF inhibitor responded positively inhibitors. Some also had less swell- to a different one. ing and tenderness.

rd.com 109 Reader’s Di"est

rheumatologist Sergio Schwartzman, MD. “But for many people, there can be a five-year delay in receiving a di- agnosis.” A growing number of com- bined dermatology/rheumatology clinics may help reverse the trend.

Psoriatic arthritis sufferers 25are six times more likely to have the inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) known as Crohn’s disease, according to a study of more than 174,000 women. Chronic inflammation underlies both Crohn’s and PsA, and some of the PSORIATIC medications used to treat arthritis may lead to or exacerbate IBD symptoms. ARTHRITIS (Other PsA drugs, though, can help IBD (PsA): An autoimmune disease in symptoms.) People with PsA are also at which the immune system attacks higher risk for diabetes, osteoporosis, healthy joint tissue, PsA affects about kidney disease, other autoimmune dis- 30 percent of people with psoriasis, eases, and many other conditions. a condition marked by red, scaly patches on the skin. GOUT Caused by uric acid crystals in joints PsA is not RA. Psoriatic arthri- (most often in the big toe). 23 tis is often misdiagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis, but the cause The number of people diag- and many treatments are different. 26 nosed with gout doubled be- Until 2013, the medications approved tween 1960 and 1990, and rates have by the FDA to treat psoriatic arthritis risen about 25 percent since. The were RA drugs. Since then, several use of certain medications for high new treatments for those with PsA blood pressure—especially loop and have become available. thiazide diuretics—are among the top reasons for the increase. Foods Getting a timely diagnosis and drinks rich in compounds called 24 can prevent permanent joint purines (such as alcohol, bacon, and damage. “In psoriatic arthritis, ero- sweets) also contribute to the forma- sive joint changes can begin within tion of uric acid crystals, as does being six months of first symptoms,” says overweight and sedentary.

110 november 2018 Health & Medicine

Tomatoes, which throughout the year were 27can increase uric 37 percent less likely to acid levels, could be a gout have recurrent attacks. trigger for some people, a study from 2015 found. Gout drugs can be They were the fourth most 29 effective, but they common food trigger after can also have drawbacks. seafood, alcohol, and red In a 2018 study of more meat. than 6,000 people with gout, those who took febuxostat were It Bears repeating: Cherries 34 percent more likely to die from 28 can lower the risk of a gout heart disease than people who took al- attack. In a 2012 study, researchers lopurinol, another common gout drug. followed people with gout for a year But allopurinol can cause liver prob- and found that those who either ate lems, while another older gout drug, fresh cherries or took cherry extract colchicine, can cause severe diarrhea.

THE POWER OF HEALTHY CHOICES New research has proved that these old-time remedies really work. While most studies have been done with osteoarthritis or rheumatoid patients, experts say these strategies will help almost all kinds of arthritis.

30. Weight Loss percent lower risk for with OA reduce pain In a study of 640 over- OA-related knee pain. and improve joint func- weight and obese tion in knees, hips, and people, those who lost 32. Fish ankles by 80 percent. just 5 percent of their One study showed that body weight over two RA patients who ate fish 34. Touch and years had lower rates of at least twice a week Movement cartilage degeneration had fewer swollen, ten- Therapies compared with stable- der joints than those A review of 21 comple- weight participants. who rarely did. mentary therapies found that acupunc- 31. Fiber 33. Physical Activity ture, massage, yoga, People who ate 22 to Just 45 minutes a week and tai chi were most 28 grams of fiber per of walking or other easy effective in easing OA day had a 30 to 61 exercise helped people and RA pain.

rd.com 111 Reader’s Digest

She set out to scatter her husband’s ashes in a national park. Would she make it out alive?

112 november 2018 | rd.com DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

IN THE PACIFIC WOODS

By Tom Hallman Jr. Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

Jean Geer, months before she and her dog disappeared in Olympic F National Park For 34 years, Jean and Jack Geer doted on each other as they moved from San Francisco to Hawaii to, finally, Port Angeles in Washington State. Then, in December 2016, Jean walked into their bucolic backyard and found Jack crumpled on the ground. Seemingly in a Hawaiian shirt, and canvas espa- perfect health, he had died of a mas- drilles. No need for a coat on what sive heart attack. He was 72. should be a 30-minute walk. She In the following months, Jean de- planned to be home in time to make voured books on grief and loss, hop- dinner. ing she would find the will to go on With its dramatic peaks and old- without him. One task she thought growth forests, Olympic National could help: Jack had told Jean that Park covers nearly a million sprawling when he died he wanted half of his acres. Jean was heading for one spe- ashes scattered in Hawaii and half cial spot off Obstruction Point Road, in Olympic National Park, about a an eight-mile dirt and gravel byway. 25-minute drive from their home. So She drove in about three miles, pulled in March 2017, Jean dutifully flew to her Explorer over on an untamed Hawaii to disperse the first part of stretch of road devoid of signs, and got Jack’s remains in the ocean. But she out. She grabbed her cell phone and dreaded the thought of parting with the urn, stashed her purse in the car, Jack forever. She put off spreading and locked the doors. And then Jean the rest of Jack’s ashes until she was and Yoda entered the woods. ready. That day came on July 17. Jean, 71, took the urn holding Jack’s he park features one of the remains, grabbed Yoda, her five-year- world’s most diverse popula- old 11-pound Chihuahua mix, and T tions of wildflowers, and Jean climbed into her 2004 Ford Explorer. was on a quest for blue alpine It was 4 p.m. A slight woman, just forget-me-nots. Their beauty, Jack had

five feet tall, Jean wore capri pants, once told Jean, moved him. When she previous spread: joseph sohm/shutterstock

114 november 2018 | rd.com NEW!

didn’t see any, she BIG walked deeper into VANILLA the woods and fi- nally spotted a blan- LATTE ket of blue through a FLAVOR small opening in the trees. Relieved, she walked to the flow- ers and distributed Jack’s ashes. She said a quiet blessing and turned to leave. Then she paused. Had she come in this way or that? Where was the trail? Jack would have laughed. He’d frequently teased her about her terrible sense of direction. His nickname for her was “wrong-way Jean.” She saw a hill and headed toward it. If she could make it to the top, she could scan the horizon and spot Obstruction Point Road. Her shoes, which had smooth treads, were ill- suited for the climb. Yoda ran ahead while Jean struggled to maintain her balance. She slipped, dropped the urn, and watched it roll over the edge of the hill and tumble into a gully. BIG FOOD Jean crept her way to the slope’s side. She spotted the dark plastic urn, FOR barely visible in the underbrush. She BIG DAYS hated abandoning anything related to Jack, but the steep hillside was too dangerous to navigate. She eventually

made it to the top of the crest, where 2018 © Kellogg NA Co. she saw nothing but trees and more hills. She’d been gone from home for

courtesy jean geer a few hours, and it was getting dark. Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

Yoda snuggled close, warming her as the temperature dipped into the 40s. An experienced camper, Jean wasn’t frightened by the forest’s strange noises or creepy-crawlies. But her predicament did keep her awake. To distract herself, she thought about the dinner she’d planned but wouldn’t get to eat: noodle soup with pork and veg- etables, and fresh cherries for dessert. And she thought of Jack. Jean re- called the first time she’d laid eyes on him. It was 1982. Armed with her MBA, she had applied for a job at a San The shelter Jean made. She and her dog, Francisco bank, where Jack served as Yoda, ultimately lived in it for three days. a vice president. After she was hired as an assistant vice president, Jack She reached for her cell phone to took her to lunch to congratulate call for help. No service. Thirsty, Jean her. Mutually attracted, they began needed water. She randomly picked to date, fell in love, and were soon a route, pushing her way through married. Thinking about Jack made underbrush and branches that cut her calmer, allowing her to conclude and pricked her, until she came upon that if she could make it until daylight, a small creek. She and Yoda drank she’d find her way out. deeply. As night fell, Jean was chilled by an awful realization: She would be t dawn, Jean left the shelter, spending the night in the woods. forging her own trail through She’d heard stories about people A underbrush with Yoda now who had died in the park, including trying to keep up with her. At one who had been mauled by a bear. home, Yoda had the run of nearly Just stay calm, she thought, forcing five acres, where he chased deer and herself to focus on the task at hand. explored. But this adventure was dif- First things first—she needed a place ferent. The bushes were high in many to sleep. She spotted a downed tree, places, and he had to tunnel through. about seven feet in diameter, that had With his short legs, he couldn’t jump fallen on a big rock next to the creek. over the logs. Discouraged, he’d yelp The space beneath was large enough for Jean. But Jean couldn’t carry him. to shelter her for the night. She It taxed her strength, and she might

crawled under the log and lay there. fall. Yoda was on his own. search and rescue kitsap courtesy rick prentics/washington explorer

116 november 2018 | rd.com BIG DAYS

Jean, meanwhile, was fighting her ARE RIPE own battles with panic. So much WITH could go wrong in the wilderness for POTENTIAL even a young, able-bodied hiker. But for a septuagenarian, the perils were magnified. Crossing over slippery rocks, she worried she’d fall and break a leg. She avoided ravines, knowing that if she plunged into one, she could never climb back up. Before she knew it, another day had passed. Her chances of being rescued had not improved. As night fell again, Jean and Yoda found another fallen tree to sleep under.

he next morning, her third day lost in the park, Jean had given T up on finding her own way out. She’d read stories about people who’d endured in the wild, and the rules of survival were simple: Find a water source, don’t get injured, and find an open spot to make it easier for rescuers to find you. Then stay put. By midafternoon, Jean had scouted out the place she’d call home for how- ever long she needed it. She’d found two trees that had fallen next to each other. She used branches to build a BIG FOOD roof and to close off one end of the FOR space, leaving an opening for a “door- BIG DAYS way.” Inside, she stacked branches to use at night to close off the opening. She used moss to make the ground

softer. 2018 © Kellogg NA Co. At the end of day three, Jean and Yoda entered the eight-by-five-foot shelter. As she settled in, so many Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

OBSTRUCTION POINT ROAD

Port Angeles AREA OF Urn DETAIL found Jean’s Seattle car Olympic National 4 search Park areas Washington

Jean and Yoda found here Using her car and the urn as guides, teams searched for 0 ,000 Jean—and her dog, Yoda—in four directions. feet

thoughts, some absurd, ran through Starving, she ate wild currants, her head: She’d bought tickets with tender pine needles, and even ants, a friend to go on an October cruise which had a lemony taste. Yoda, for that would take them to Greece, Italy, his part, impressed Jean with his new- and Spain. Would she get to go? And found ability to snatch flies out of the then there were those cherries. She air and dig up grubs for dinner. couldn’t stop thinking about them. By 4 p.m., Jean and Yoda had The next day, her fourth lost, Jean climbed into her shelter. Despite the settled into her survival routine. Sev- moss, the hard ground was miser- eral times over the course of the day, able and the cold was embedded in she made her way down a steep hill her bones. But she wasn’t giving up. to drink water. Taking care not to fall, Although Jack had taken care of her she dug her heels into the ground and for so many years, Jean now harked clung to the bushes. back to a time when she hadn’t been She tried building a fire by gather- dependent on anyone. ing dry pine needles and then rubbing Shortly after World War II, her a small stick against a stone, hoping family had moved to the United States the stick would get warm enough to from China. At school, kids would hurl ignite. It failed, but she kept trying. racial slurs and start fights with her. Her

118 november 2018 | rd.com map by Peter Oumanski FILL UP father had sat Jean down and offered FOR this advice: You are a little person. You won’t be strong physically. You BIG DAYS must be strong internally. Somehow, someway, he was saying, Jean had to take care of herself. Hungry, tired, and growing weak, Jean drifted off to sleep repeating her father’s words.

y now, Jean’s brother in Se- attle had become concerned. B Numerous calls to Jean had not been returned, and when he drove the two hours to her home, there was no sign of her. He con- tacted the sheriff’s office, which sent a missing-person report to all govern- mental agencies, including an office at Olympic National Park. At 1:30 p.m. on July 22, five days into Jean’s odyssey, a park employee spotted the Explorer. He radioed it in, setting in motion a series of alerts that ended with Zach- ary Gray, of the park’s search-and- rescue operations squad, gathering a handful of searchers to look for Jean. They met at her parked Explorer. Dust and water spots indicated the ve- hicle had been there for several days. BIG FOOD Searchers walked into the woods, call- FOR ing Jean’s name. They found nothing. At 7 p.m., with nightfall approaching, BIG DAYS the search was halted. The search began again the next day at 6 a.m. Gray now had a team of

37 under his command, which he split 2018 © Kellogg NA Co. into four groups heading out in differ- ent directions. Still, he couldn’t buck the nagging feeling that this would Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

end poorly. At 71, Jean was likely dis- woman. He saw them hug her. His ra- oriented and probably injured. Gray dio came to life: We have Jean. had been on ten searches already that After six days in the woods, Jean year. Nearly all had ended when the was too weak to walk out on her own. team found a body. Gray called in a larger Coast Guard At noon, Gray’s two-way radio helicopter, one that could hoist Jean crackled. A searcher had found a plas- up into the chopper in a basket, while tic urn with Jack Geer’s name on the the ground crew carried Yoda out. side. Gray had other teams focus on At the hospital, doctors were a half-mile radius from where the urn stunned that Jean’s only injuries were was found. Hours passed. Nothing. scratches on her legs. Tests revealed Gray radioed to request a helicop- that her potassium was low from eat- ter. Once aboard, he searched below ing next to nothing for nearly a week. where the urn had been found. Jean, She was released from the hospital he thought, might have fallen into the that night with a prescription for po- gully and dropped the urn. Injured, tassium tablets, which she chased she likely would have continued down with a big bowl of cherries. walking downhill until she either col- When rescuers discussed the lapsed or died. Flying 300 feet above search, they talked about the small tree level, Gray saw nothing but a sea urn. Without it, they would never have of green. He had another idea. If Jean found Jean. Gray is convinced that were somehow alive, she’d need wa- Jack Geer’s spirit protected his wife. ter. He studied the terrain. Far away, Jean doesn’t doubt it. But the he spotted a creek. The pilot made woman who questioned her will to go two passes. Nothing. Wait—Gray on without her husband had found thought he saw something move. He the wherewithal to survive. And with asked the pilot to circle back. that came a life-affirming conclusion. Then Gray saw a dog. Then a “It’s time to let go and let [my] own woman with silver hair waving at the light shine, and stand up,” she told the chopper. He radioed the team, giving Seattle Times. “This situation forced new instructions. From a distance, me. I realized I had to be on my own he watched searchers running to the and move on to my life.”

About That Preboarding Rush Everyone who lined up 30 minutes early to board the plane is gonna be so mad when we all land at the same time. @msgweni

120 november 2018 Reader’s Digest

Humor in UNIFORM

“Careful, now. I don’t like the looks of this.”

While serving in Viet- The guy put down others fell to the nam, my friend and the paper, turned to ground quickly and his buddies were hun- my friend, and said, did their push-ups. kered down in a mud- “Well, there goes the Meanwhile, the ser- filled hole that had light bulb.” geant glared at the been dug into the side —James ”alouch others. “As for the rest of a berm and covered New York, New York of you, get down and with lumber for protec- give me 40 for lying!” tion. Their one extrav- As A.J. and his platoon —S.C. via mail agance: a bare light of recruits were march- bulb they’d hung from ing, their sergeant the “ceiling.” slipped and tumbled One guy was read- down a ravine. The Got a funny story ing a newspaper arti- irate sergeant scram- about the military or cle from back home bled back up amid your military family? about a congressional guffaws and barked, It could be worth $$$. investigation into why “Those who laughed, For details, see page 4 some troops were liv- get down and give or go to rd.com/

ed fisher/the new yorker collection/© condé nast ed fisher/the ing in relative luxury. me 20!” A.J. and some submit.

rd.com 121 THE GENIUS SECTION 9 Pages to sharpen Your Mind

WISH YOU WERE MORE CREATIVE? JUST PRETEND! Thinking you aren’t gifted may be what’s blocking your inner artist

by Susie Neilson from the cut s. anandhakrishna/shutterstock v.

122 november 2018 Reader’s Digest

want to ask you a favor. I have a one’s behavior. The authors, educa- pair of pants. Tell me: How many tional psychologists Denis Dumas and different ways can I put a pair of Kevin Dunbar, divided their college- pants to use? student subjects into three groups, in- Now imagine you’re an archi- structing the members of one to think Itect. Same question. of themselves as “eccentric poets” and Now imagine you’re Cher. Bill the members of another to imagine Gates. A scuba diver. A medieval they were “rigid librarians” (the third knight. You still have the pants. What group was the control). The research- alternative uses come to mind? ers then presented all the participants What you just practiced—the with ten ordinary objects, including a conscious act of “wearing” another fork, a carrot, and a pair of pants, and self—is an exercise that, according to asked them to come up with as many psychiatrist Srini Pillay, MD, is essen- different uses as possible for each one. tial to being creative. Those who were asked to imagine One great irony about our collec- tive obsession with creativity is that IGNORE ADVICE TO we tend to frame it in uncreative ways. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. That is to say, most of us marry cre- ativity to our concept of self: Either INSTEAD, BELIEVE YOU we’re “creative” or we aren’t, without ARE SOMEONE ELSE. much of a middle ground. “I’m just not a creative person!” a frustrated student might say in art class, while themselves as eccentric poets came up another might blame her talent at with the widest range of ideas, whereas painting for her difficulties in math, those in the rigid-librarian group had deflecting with a comment such as, the fewest. Meanwhile, the researchers “I’m very right-brained.” found only small differences in stu- Dr. Pillay, a tech entrepreneur and dents’ creativity levels across academic an assistant professor at Harvard Uni- majors. In fact, the physics majors in- versity, has spent a good chunk of his habiting the personas of eccentric po- career subverting these ideas. He be- ets came up with more ideas than the lieves that the key to unlocking your art majors did. creative potential is to defy the clichéd These results, write Dumas and advice that urges you to “believe in Dunbar, suggest that creativity is not yourself.” In fact, you should do the op- an individual trait but a “malleable posite: Believe you are someone else. product of context and perspective.” Dr. Pillay points to a 2016 study dem- Everyone can be creative, as long as onstrating the impact of stereotypes on he or she feels like a creative person.

rd.com 123 Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

may be quiet, but it’s hardly idle: It spends all day rummaging through our memories and collaging ideas together. Unfortunately, those ideas often get drowned out because most of us spend way too much time worrying, and about two things in particular: how successful/unsuccessful we are and how little we’re focusing on the task at hand. These twin worries feed on each other—an unfocused person is an unsuccessful one, we believe— and so we don’t allow our minds to IDEAS GET DROWNED wander into its quietly fertile fields. OUT BECAUSE MOST Instead, we buy noise-canceling headphones, knuckle down, and OF US SPEND WAY TOO berate ourselves for taking breaks. MUCH TIME WORRYING. What makes Dr. Pillay’s argument resonate is its healthy, forgiving real- ism. According to him, most people Dr. Pillay’s work takes this a step spend nearly half of their days in a further: He argues that simply iden- state of “unfocus.” This doesn’t make tifying yourself as creative is less us slackers; it makes us human. The powerful than taking the bold, cre- quietly revolutionary idea behind ative step of imagining you are psychological Halloweenism is: What somebody else. This exercise, which if we stopped judging ourselves for he calls psychological Halloween- our mental downtime and instead ism, refers to the conscious action of started harnessing it? Putting this new inhabiting another persona. An actor spin on daydreaming means tackling may employ this technique to get into two problems at once: You’re making character, but anyone can use it. yourself more creative, and you’re According to Dr. Pillay, it works giving yourself permission to do because it is an act of “conscious un- something you’d otherwise feel guilty focus,” a way of stimulating the default about. Imagining yourself in a new mode network, a collection of brain situation, or an entirely new identity, regions that spring into action when never felt so productive. you’re not focused on a specific task the cut (june 2, 201=), copyright © 201= or thought. The default mode network by new york media, thecut.com. images skodonnell/getty

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BRAIN GAMES

Word Sudoku ERFTBLeasy Complete the grid so that each row, each LERTcolumn, and each three- by-three frame contains MT B Y E the nine letters from the black box below. TM YBA hidden nine-letter word is in the diagonal from top left to bottom XFLYEB M right. (It may contain RYTLFXrepeated letters.) B E F L M R T X Y YFXLBR RF X MXBRFY

Happy Campers medium You just bought nine beautiful lakeside campsites, which you can rent to campers with tents for $20 per campsite per night. You can also upgrade the sites with electrical hookups. This will cost you $60 per campsite but will allow you to rent to RVers for $40 per night. Suppose you can always fill your campground to capacity. If you’re starting without any cash on hand, how many nights will pass before you’ll be able to upgrade all nine sites?

126 november 2018 The Genius Section

Arithme-pick medium Place one of the four basic arithmetic operations (+, –, ×, ÷) in each box to make a correct equation. All operations are performed from left to right, ignoring the mathematical order of operations. The result at each step must be a positive whole number. What’s the equation? 5 7 3 9 4 = 32

Animal House easy How many pets live in my house if all of them are snakes except two, all are hamsters except two, and all are ? rabbits except two?

Suit Yourself difficult The playing card suits in the cells above are placed according to a pattern. For more Brain What’s the missing symbol? Games, go to games.rd.com.

For answers, turn to page 1(1.

rd.com 127 Reader’s Digest The Genius Section

9. poke n. (poh-'kay) WORD POWER a raw fish salad. b online pest. c rural town. The editors at Merriam-Webster added a 10. Silver Alert n. ('sil-ver uh-'lurt) whopping 850 words and definitions to a warning of a missing the dictionary in 2018—including, appro- senior. priately, wordie (“lover of words”). Quiz b notice of a price drop. c ship’s distress signal. yourself on these other newcomers, then 11. kombucha n. look up the answers on page 130. (kahm-'boo-chuh) a fermented tea. By Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon b modular furniture. c gorilla species. 1. life hack n. ('life hak) 5. cryptocurrency n. 12. mansplain v. a identity theft. (krip-toh-'kuhr-en-see) ('man-splayn) b short bio. a classified information. a mooch off a friend. c clever tip. b digital money. b brag about money. 2. chiweenie n. c unpredictable events. c explain condescendingly. (chih-'wee-nee) 6. beach cruiser n. 13. piloerection n. a chewy noodle. (beech 'croo-zer) (py-loh-ih-'rek-shun) b Chihuahua/dachshund a amateur surfer. a demolished building. hybrid. b bike with wide tires. b bristling of hairs. c crybaby. c migrating shorebird. c new website. 3. demonym n. 7. Wanderwort n. 14. gastroplasty n. ('deh-muh-nim) ('wahn-dur-wort) ('ga-stroh-pla-stee) a impish child. a daydreamer. a culinary customs. b floor model. b tofu sausage. b stomach surgery. c name for an inhabitant. c far-traveling word. c horrible crime. 4. harissa n. 8. dumpster fire n. 15. cotija n. (huh-'rih-suh) ('dump-ster fire) (koh-'tee-hah) a spicy sauce. a total disaster. a hard Mexican cheese. b hair dye. b mass layoff. b ballroom dance. c brash woman. c rumormonger. c poisonous snake.

To play an interactive version of Word Power on your iPad, download the Reader’s Digest app.

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D’oh! Good One, Homer Also among Merriam-Webster’s new words is embiggen (“to enlarge”). It was coined as a joke by the writers of The Simpsons, who had challenged themselves to invent two words that sounded real. The Springfield town motto is: “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.” The other invented word was cromulent (“acceptable”), which has not had a life beyond the cartoon show—so far.

WORD POWER hear that Bryce started 12. mansplain (c) explain ANSWERS a business renting beach condescendingly. Ryan cruisers to tourists? began to mansplain about film history to his date, 1. life hack (c) clever tip. 7. Wanderwort (c) even though she had a Here’s a simple life hack: far-traveling word. The PhD in the subject. Use dental floss to neatly word orange is a classic slice up a cake. Wanderwort, with roots 13. piloerection (b) in Sanskrit, Persian, and bristling of hairs. I dare 2. chiweenie (b) Chihua- Arabic. you to read a Stephen hua/dachshund hybrid. My King book without some kids like Yorkie-poos, but 8. dumpster fire (a) total serious piloerection. I’m partial to chiweenies. disaster. “Today was such a dumpster fire—I lost my 14. gastroplasty (b) 3. demonym (c) name wallet, I fought with my stomach surgery. for an inhabitant. As a wife, and I got into a fender “Gastroplasty can help Cleveland native, José bender,” Jess moaned. some people lose weight, prefers the demonym but it isn’t right for “Buckeye” over “Ohioan.” 9. poke (a) raw fish salad. everyone,” cautioned With tzatziki, acai, and Dr. Willis. 4. harissa (a) spicy sauce. poke on this menu, I need After one bite of Marissa’s a translator to order! 15. cotija (a) hard lemon harissa chicken, Mexican cheese. Cotija my mouth was on fire. 10. Silver Alert (a) is often described as warning of a missing senior. a cross between feta 5. cryptocurrency (b) No need for a Silver Alert; and Parmesan. digital money. I don’t trust we found Grandpa these cryptocurrency fads; tinkering in the attic. I’d rather write a check than pay with Bitcoin. 11. kombucha (a) Vocabulary Ratings fermented tea. The new 9 & below: so last year 6. beach cruiser (b) bike health food store sells 10–12: up-to-date with wide tires. Did you kombucha by the gallon. 13–1*: ahead of the curve

130 november 2018 The Genius Section mak BRAIN GAMES us ANSWERS laugh!

See page 126.

Word Sudoku E YRMFTBXL L X BEYRMTF FMT LBXYRE TEMR XFLYB XFLYE BRMT RBYTLM FEX YTFXMLE BR BREFTYXL M MLXBRETFY Caption Contest What’s your clever description for this Happy Campers picture? Submit your funniest line at three. On the first night, rd.com/captioncontest. Winners will be you’ll host nine tents and published in a future Photo Finish. make $180, which you’ll use to upgrade three sites. On the second Arithme-pick hearts equal three, night, you’ll host three 5 + 7 ÷ 3 × 9 – 4 = 32 spades equal two, and RVs and six tents, earning clubs equal one. Either $240, letting you upgrade Suit Yourself way, each row and another four sites. On the spade. Each suit has column adds up to ten, third night, you’ll host a numerical value: dia- and the missing symbol seven RVs and two tents, monds equal one, hearts is a spade. earning you more than equal two, spades equal enough to upgrade the three, and clubs equal Animal House last two. four. Or, if you prefer, One of each, for a total diamonds equal four, of three.

Reader’s Digest (ISSN 0034-0375) (USPS 865-820), (CPM Agreement# 40031457), Vol. 192, No. 1145, November 2018. © 2018. Published monthly, except bimonthly in July/August and December/January (subject to change without notice), by Trusted Media Brands, Inc., 44 South Broadway, White Plains, New York 10601. Periodicals postage paid at White Plains, New York, and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595. Send undeliverable Canadian addresses to [email protected]. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction, in any manner, is prohibited. Reader’s Digest and The Digest are registered trademarks of Trusted Media Brands, Inc. Marca Registrada. Printed in U.S.A. SUBSCRIBERS: You may cancel your subscription at any time and receive a refund for copies not previously addressed. Your subscription will expire with the issue identified above your name on the address label. If the Post Office alerts us that your magazine is undeliverable, we have no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address within one year. A special Reader’s Digest Large Print with selected articles from Reader’s Digest is published by Trusted Media Brands, Inc. For details, write: Reader’s Digest Large Print, PO Box 6097, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1597. CONSUMER INFORMATION: Reader’s Digest may share information about you with third parties for the pur- pose of offering products and services that may interest you. If you would rather not receive such offers via postal mail, please write to Reader’s Digest Customer Mailing List, PO Box 3123, Harlan, Iowa 51593-0189. You can also visit www.tmbi.com/preference-center to manage your prefer-

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rd.com 131 Reader 132 november 2018 |rd.com To captioncontest, thephotoon enter anupcoming see ’ s Digest “Think Chewbacca will likemy Chewbaccawill newhairdo?”“Think How theday. vampire getoutduring tourists The GeniusSection — “Hold on.My sweater’s unraveling!” — — Linda miller Melissa sitton Susan Mciver PHOTO FINISH Your Funniest Funniest Runners-Up Winner Port Deposit, Maryland Deposit, Port Allegan, Michigan Allegan, Vian, Oklahoma captions page 1(1 .

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