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Hht tiaxntt 3\xrnlt A 103 yean Student Journalism The Official Or^an of the Students oJ the University of the South~ Legacy OJ OJ THE UNIVERSITY OF THE SOUTH SEWANEE. TN 37383- 10(H) SEPTEMBER 7, 1995 VOLUME CLXXV, NO. I Joyful Anticipation of a Java Joint

will be its low puce, yet high qualify by Angela Ward will work part-time, preparing and serving the afternoon crowd, and remaining open till about tractive instance will coffee and food and operating the register midnight on weekdays and possibly later on menu The quality coffee for afford all stu- be priced "exceptionally lowei than the mai Alas, after much ado, the highly antici- According to Ms Ansehutz. the Coffee weekends Such hours should members a ket standard according to Ms Ansehutz pated, strongly supported, and definitely House will be open for business off and on dents, faculty, and community plethora oi convenient opportunities to as- Though the University will ol course, have needed Coffee House will open in only six to throughout the day. beginning about 7:00a m to turn a profit, sales Irom coffee, a \er\ high- eight weeks thanks to the laborious efforts of

profil Hem should enable the House to I Dr. Woody Register, Ms Maryetla Ansehutz. prices low and still bring in high quality Hems and the crew of "Coffeehouse Committee" bagels, desserts, and other snacks, as well as members. According to Ms Ansehutz, after an entire fat-free hue Students will, of co various structural, plumbing, and electrical be able to charge purchases on thetheii cards problems are addressed, the quaint, yellow, Students ma) beabletouseflw dollars how- Victorian house located down the hill from the ever, since flex dollars operate tin Bishop's Common on Georgia Avenue should will Mai i lot. v. u h which the Coffee House not he ready to serve students, faculty, and com- he affiliated, the use Ol Hex dollars ma munity members alike with "good bagels, past be possible and scones," and of course, "wonderful " In addition to the low prices and enticing coffee menu, the interesting decor and entertainment While the "go ahead" was given for the ol the( ollee House should attract all types ol Coffee House project this spring, the location customers. Irom a conservative "tea tune' was not decided until this summer, when the crowd to a "late-night-sobering-up crowd long and thorough process of hiring a man- according to Ms Anschut/ I he House will ager for the house was also conducted After have several rooms, each with a different three weeks of interviews and reference- theme For instance one room will havjB big checking on about a dozen candidates from comfortable couches and small tables thet tarnished unit a little polish u Hlun and without the University, a manager Stirling Cup: Although the present appearam e may be The will be moreol a "pristine iea room," and still released hinson. has been hired whose name will be the community will make it thine Photo by Lyn Hun Sewanee another might showcase a tacky "Brad) Bum h after the manager's contract is finalized. This Ms with one another, while style" decoi As foi entertainment. crowd till about noon, then semble and interact will work lull-time with a staff of serving a morning manager Manlev indicates that in addition to a an enjoj mg the fabulous menu, diverse entertain hired, who reopening about 2:00 or 3:00 p m, to serve .,1m, iii two i" six students, yet lobe an ' toffee House ment. and warm atmosphere of the Coffee ol magazines and work the should feature "poetrj readings, monoli Professor Dies in Bosnia House \< cording to Ms Ansehutz Ms. Li Former " ,,„,i is .,, oust'n musu Ms Ans< hut Manlej 'i'" 1 Dean Pearigen, il thii I]

I ois nl thini environment ihi i ommittee wants Warren sense of humoi and engaging intelligence gave interaction in a iforlable by Andria -•' : 1 > n i 1 outdoor lass goalol theCoffee House .ii night possibl) him the abilitj to "hold the attention ol a< which is the primary " House imn ies on the front ol the house dun il I he I offee as long as he continued talking Profes- \ i lean Pearigen puts Erasure, a Formet member of the for Robert are literal!) warm weathei I he possibilities that lie "wished is about coffee It's about conversation I lilchrisl went on to saj not Sewanee faculty, was killed in an automobile soi gathering togethei and enjoying one endless that Bob Frasure could have stayed at Sewanee people accident in Bosnia-Herzegovina on Saturda) Sewani e a rtainl) has eal to look leaving, he look the foreign another's company." I lie old student union n old Frasure.the \n,i August l He was 53 years tins used pro forward to in the upcoming realit) ol long exam and has been working for the HOW the Sewanee I nioii lliealei. tO Deputy Assistant Secretarj ol State for Euro- service I to the divet to awaited projei I tiering ever since vide such a place foi students and facult) Affairs, was traveling to a Si, lie Department pean and Canadian interacting and entertainmeni needs ol all 'hang out; howevet at present no such place ing, discuss a peace plan conference in Sarajevo to communit) the Coffee House serves this important purpose. The Coffee membersol the (he armored personnel car- li.i Bosnia when he. in the words ol Ms \nschutz, House's central location, being onl) about 50 will certainl) he was riding lost control and rier in which "A playground foi all yards or so walk from the Bishop s < ommon, mountain road. Frasure and plunged from a All students are em ouraged to be< ome in- as well as its accessible hours, should enable Joseph Kruzel two other American diplomats. this b) joining the lor interaction volved m exciting venture it serve BS such a tonim accident and Samuel Nelson Drew, died in the House Committee oi simpl) offering Another characteristic of the Coffee House Coffee political science Frasure was a professor of the) ma) have customers will be sure to find very ai an) suggestions He taught which at Sewanee from 1970 until 1973 Soviet politics ever offered the first course in Biography his undergradu- Minute Frasure received Five at Sewanee. University, and ate degree from West Virginia Dr. Brown Patterson, Academic and Author School of Economics I [e attended the graduated and ing double majors. Dr Patterson received his Ph.D. from Duke University by Lindsey Delaplaine English and decided to attend teaching Editor with a B A. in then came to Sewanee and began \ssoi iate Harvard to continue his education. Alter re- After leaving Sewanee he joined the for- ceiving his master's in English. Dr Patterson work as a white hair, tall, lean frame and eign service. During his years of The for a Rhodes Scholarship in order to lo- glasses of Dr. William Brown applied diplomat, he served in numerous foreign rounded under C.S. Lewis and was accepted Frasure Patterson seem to exude academia I spent Study cations in both Europe and Africa most two years at Oxford, Di Patterson Bush's National Se- more time doing graduate work than During his was a member of George Robert Frasure during his Sewanee yean " with wrote weekly essays, and met with Lewis in and in 1991 people spend in grades K-12, he says curity Council in 1990 and 1991, was a professor at essays aloud and receive When Frasure years his life were de- order to read the Presidential Medal for Excep- a smile Eighteen of he received the pro- he and another politic al science Ethiopia. Be- Sewanee. voted to the pursuit of higher education, com- Continued on page 9 tional Service for his work in here at the time. Dan lessor who was total of seven degrees, in- when he was named Deputy piling an amazing fore July 1994, that would per | began a friendship as the ( » Liberty, two B.A.S, two MA s. a M Div Assistant Secretary of State, he served cluding years alte. they both left the univer- sist in the and PhD S in both his- issue... i Master of Divinity), In this United States Ambassador to Estonia gave a eulogy at the funeral as die sity O'Flaherty tory and religion. In the face of these awe- Recently Frasure had been working which he spoke ol I rasure's Shorts and Picks pg- 2 ,,| Ins friend in one would expect to American represental.se in a group some accomplishments, principal d at ., teacher O'Flaherty exph Bosnia, abiijt) as Hud Dr Patterson an intimidating man. but diplomats trying to achieve peace in of "Before Boh was a brilliant Ranting and Raving pg.4 the funeral that Ins and friendly, engaging man- twice a month to warm smile and new to Europe teacher, follow he was a splendid a meeting diplomat, ner prove otherwise. Ferences He was on his waj to 6 as a political scientist ITi N.C. Sports pg to end inghisfathei L)r Patterson was born in Charlotte, offi ials to discuss a plan with Bosnian his tonne. Students are here to- MmI some ol school in nearb) I ireens- accident >' and attended public the fighting when the Creative Dating pg 11 day bears witness to that intending to be- l lle came to Sewanee political science professor >il Sewanee' s saying' wewillmiss O'Flahert) continued, was sv, ayed b; remembers Frasure as an excel- come A history major but hen ( Silchrisl nation 12 superb friend as surely as the will Anti-Pop Pg professor, both Our lessor Charles Harrison to the English De- lecturer and as a popular lent its best public sen antS frasure miss "ne of Since Sewanee was not vet allow- of tin I m partment. students and with members with his survived by his wife and two daughters Frasure's wo is uUj According to Gilchrist.

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Page 2 The Sewanee Purple September 7, 1995 PAGE TWO

Setuatue §Uo*L "What to Do When There's Nothing to Do on the Domain'

8&9 September. Open Weekend . The out why everyone thinks they have to FINAL second weekend of fall frater- put a "Help Save Bluebell Island!" nity rush always features fabulous bumper sticker on their four-wheel- parties and sometimes good bands. drive gas-guzzlin' automobile.

I his weekend ONLY frats fall over Women's Center, 7:30 themselves trying to impress frosh. A

particularly impressive selection of 14 September. Ed Wood . This Cin- bands will be on the Mountain. Not ema Guild selection features Johnny

to he missed is Strutter, "the" Kiss Depp who plays former Hollywood-

cover band, at the Phi house from 1 heyday director Dr. Edward J. Wood,

to 1 on Saturday night. Strutter wears Jr. Ed loved to make movies about his the make-up and there have even been perverse loves, and you'll love Tim

rumors of blood, but you'll have to Burton's movie which details Ed's life. find that out for yourself. SUT, 7:30.

II September. Bluebell Island is for 19 September. Dawn Underwood. PRE Madness sale and some Sewanee people want The Sewanee Performing Arts Series to buy it! Whether you think this idea kicks off this year's clandestine array is smart or silly, the island in the Elk of talent with this Grammy-award- Above: Coleman Rose ('97), River is beautiful. Come to the slide winning soprano's performance. Carolyn Bender ('99), Jason Nail showing by Stephen Alvarez and find Guerry Auditorium, 7:00. ('98) and Chris Keefer ('96) play together and demonstrate an ex- New OG Members perimental form of lowrider Waller Justin Adams Cara Blylhe Freeman Neil Little Pruitt. Jr. kayaking to make the boating Bret Steven Alexander Emmie Foster Gaillard Jessica Louise Purslcy Gary Blaylock Andrews, Jr Bessie Wolfe Gantt Kelly Jean Ramkc scene part of the 1995 PRE's class Maryetta Madeleine Anschutz Stephanie Simone Gilbert Jessica Elisabeth Rentz Elizabeth act. Archer William Bryan Glover Mike 1 1 Paul Reynolds Jennifer Nicole Carrier Armstrong (Catherine Meyer Greene Holly Ehz.abelh Richardson Hope Frances Atmore Elizabeth Dillon Greenfield Melissa Nell Riley

Right: PRE climbing instruc- Samuel Graves Backficld Kelly Michelle Grey SamuclDonncll Gwin Robhms III Brcndon David James Bailey Gregory Philippe Guillory Lonettc Nicole Robertson tor Adam Miller harnesses cour- Polly Bass Charles Clayton Haden Julia Anne Rosdeulscher age to demonstrate a trust lean Elizabeth Mundy Bibb Christopher Nathan Hammond Coleman Eppes Rose lane Anne Blakncy Francis Jackson Harper David William Royal to the Blush group below. Many Laura Alice Boles Patrick Kyle Heard David Roger Rugge freshmen attempted the feat and Dennis Chadwick Botlorff Amy Elizabeth Hcmstrecl Rebecca Kay Rusche

i Lee James Jameson other, more courageous souls lizabcth Bowie Henley Michael Todd Sansbury William Trousdale Bowie Albert Rheii Heyward IV Eric Job Sccse went on to climb blindfolded. Elizabeth Ann Bowlin Rachel Elizabeth Hildcbrandl Jama Renee Shelton

ir w Photos by Lyn Hutchinson. Samuel Lee Boyd arren Michael Holl Stephanie I ec Shepherd Jeh Ramsaj Bridges Amy Amalore Hughes Hadlc\ M. ib. in Siuiinonds Ronald David Briggs Katherine Burgetl Inge Jonathan Brent Sisco Laura Lee Brown Jennifer Elizabeth Ison Bonnie Kalhryn Smith

ii, s. di Elizabeth Broun l -inr.i Elizabeth lennings Amanda Lynn Spann

Patrick NeKon Bun les Mariana ' !hloe Johnson I ric la< ob Steinmehl

Bruce I n Daniel Abigail Schuenemann Johnston renl Mi I lonald Stephens Anne Severance Budros Anne Kathcrine Jones Toney Ruches Stephenson John William Burckle lamesV Jones III Jeffrey Macklin Swann Karnc Aleta Burnh.uu Phillip Brian Jones ( 'hrislophet Scotl Tayloi

( orinna Erwin Byrd I mien Carter Keith John Be. isles I hoinas IV

I lizobeth Ravenel Byrd Bartholomew Joseph Kempf Penny Jcucll.i I bomas

James Vt illis < antey III Geoffrey SanCord Kohl Sarah Alston Thompson

I "ins Fred Capulo Ellen Harley I ang Castlen Comer Tindall Rachel Elizabeth Carlson Berkeley Haynsworth Little Caren Lyn Trubey

i irai t (Catherine Tillman Caverl Michael Paul Marsh Leigh Elizabeth van Rij Seth Erin Chapman Patricia Dawn M.irshburn Zachary David Vernon

Kathcrine Eugenia Clemens Shawn Charles Martin I nk I euis Walker

t In gorj Paul Coibnih Sarah Dawn Martins Jonathan Eli Walker

( Mb, nnc AJcl.ii.il' Coleman Michael Roberts McWhirlet James Buchanan Wallace Helen Marie Corner Elizabeth Scotl Megorden John Bcveridge Wallace Daniel Robert Conklc Wade Callendcr Menzies Ann Elisabeth Walsh Nathan Weber Conover Elizabeth Nicholson Milliken Angela Erin Ward Matthew Frederick Cooke llolley Rac Monliel Craig Millard Wardlaw. Jr Pradhceshan Cooinaraswamy Ashley Suzanne Moore John Alexander Warren Laura Jean Crookston Paul Wesley Morris Joseph Kellam Warren Charles Albert Cunningham III Mills Lane Morrison. Jr. Dcrk Tyson Wemheimer

i rant es Royster Currie Katrina Anne Nelson Mary Carol Welsh Christian Hewctt Cutlei Wendy Ruth Alexandra Orlow Philippe Mar lin Wheelock Silas Strickland Davenport Anne McCarlha Osborne Robert Prince Whiscnant James Byron Davis Robert Harvey Paine Abigail Asind White Richard Francis Douglas Knshalappa Karumbaya PaleyandaMark Cameron White Steffnni Nicole Driggms Grant Jackson Palmer William Richardson White

Robert Pierce Durham Mn Ii. lie Elana Parks Samuel Lee Whilt

Elizabeth Joj Ellington Wayne Chflor.l I'aullus Kalhryn I >nn Wilhoitc (Catherine Rhodes Fields '.,..ii Phillips, ir Derry Kathleen Wrlkens Clinton fi.oil._rr Fisher Murray Price Phillips Al.nu Nunc Williamson

.i Noelle Pletchall < !hristophei Scotl Piromalli Kalhryn Erin Wilson

I rani i Miller Flournoy rhomas I orin Powell Helen Ann Wood Christopher Michael Fostel Dennis Gregory Prater l lizobeth I arden N eiser

l mi i\ Marie Zoghbj WHO BOUGHT THIS EIGHT DOLLAR THING? I 'age September 7, 1995 The Sewanee Purple 3 NEWS Summer Fun on the Mountain Financial Aid Under Fire parental inconincome . « .. ^ i-. „.i. tu r i i - «• hiikmacPirardKarst sons He named grade status,Status, by Sally Cassady ers work The conference has been a —great In James P. change and graduated siblings as main< nipnts success the past two summers, and hopes io Feature Erfitoi in an individual's aid hem;.' reduced He Although during the sultry days ol sum- grow and flourish for summers to come Stu- shessed -m\\ cuts on the individual such "Based upon the information submitted on thai depend mer at Sewanee the tired traffic light normally dents have the opportunity to meel with the man situation and does not reflect a new Univei vein applit atit m nunc ials, i wd using stays on yellow blink and Friday and Satur- literarj greats as Mark Richard, Fllen Dou

•us I rend dated I ederal Methodology foi determination day nights are somewhat lowered in excite- glas and Horton Foote. As ,i new addition to ol dr.MK Iiii.iik i.il aid cuts aid eligibility, you do noi The rumors Sewanee does not rest. There are a num- the Sewanee summer. theYoung Writers' Con- qj yow financial ment. ' in. is hi- i" Students lr\ mg toe.isih rvpl.un Ji.m eligibility foi need basedfinam ialald due ber of programs that keep the campus dive ference has found its niche on the Mountain -'I then depattoire in.ni scho.'i I I ouldrCi while students take a break Sewanee lends as a place for young authors, poets and play- said I ielinas such as this one i, .id u rs ,m easy excOse He As a place made up wrights to expound. If you received a letter [(self 10 the summertime your parents also pointed out thn'i some parents are not con adult writers" headed by from the University this summer of natural resources, the Domain even has a The Conference, il Iheit student may be paying more money than expected to tent with paying lor Sewanee summer-camp aura, an attractive aspect for Dr Wyatt Pruntny. our very own "live-in" poet. is making mediocre grades n they (students) part of the Sewanee. or you may not even be at Sewanee those with the summertime blues, longing lor has continued to be a very large could make As or Bs at a Each year, some students are faced with the make Cs here, but for the hot. empty days. Domain's summer schedule. Participants come a filler school some parents don't think Sewanee prospects of having their financial aid reduced state For high school students there are several from all corners of the globe to the popular same or cut. Inevitable rumors begin to spark chances to enhance the mind, as well has conference which commonly boasts the ^ " reductions in Young Writers' Conference Au- up. suggesting that drastic sample a taste of the "Sewanee Experience greats as the generosity are taking place "Sewanee The Sewanee Summer Scholars program thors and participants alike listen to talks, read- "The University's commitment gives lots money your freshman professor ings, and conversations packed full of the ways you of which is headed by Dr. D. Seiters, a to financial aid has not waned." and cons, and the ups year, and a little less every following of various levels of Classical Languages here of an author, the pros year. By the time you graduate, you can Davnl Gelinax gives qualified students in ninth and downs Called the best conference of its on campus , to attend, but it's too late Sewanee is proud to be hardly afford through twelfth grades a chance to expand their type in the country, to transfer," commented one bitter stu- academic sessions with uni- the home for such an outstanding function. " horizons through grades their students get wished to remain anonymous is worth it tor the Festival is yet another branch dent who versity faculty, as well as offer the students a The Music Aid, With the cost to attend Sewanee set at experience Made up According to the Director of Financial college life. The program has al- of the Sewanee summer httle bit of lor 1995-1996, the education is not David Gelinas, the rumors are not true "There $20,595 successful by both attend- of hundreds of adults, teenagers and children ways been called "However, the University's commit have been no overall reductions for Sewanee cheap notice the jovial from all comers of the country, the music fes- ees and passers-by who aid has noi waned said students," he remarked. According to *y4-'9S ment to financial is the only festival of its type anywhere. of teenagers filling Sewanee dorms, tival dol- groups With over hall ,i million more figures from the College of Arts and Sciences. Gelinas. strums of a harp in the quad or a dainty library study rooms and computer labs The stu- lars given to students this > ear. evidence shows both sounds si 2 45 million was allotted to Sewanee high school event dur- flute in the Benedict courtyard are Another Sewanee the minors are false Gelinas noted tension from all sources, including grants, loans giant orchestra put on in the summer dents ing the summer months is the Young Writers from the though, as Congress poises As of August 31. 1995. from the university, a huge boys' choir and scholarships. sort of a pre-adult ver- steam. Players, singers and Conference, which is itself to reduce ledeul funding foi education SI 3 2 million was allotted for the currenl year Conference held liven up Sewanee in the summer, giving all sion of the Sewanee Writers still holding our hie. ah ovei < ongress Gelinas added that each year some students "We're that can hear some lessons in carols in the later part of summer vacation Created now." he said face having their aid cut for a variety ol rea- nght Sewanee never rests, not at any time. Just and run by Dr. John Grammer and Dr. Eliza- because SPO boxes aren't quite as occupied beth Grammer. two professors ol English dur- as - $12 for 12 issues no one is ordering books. Gailor is just Purple Subscriptions ing the school ye.ir. the conference is made up and and the yogurt machine people all crowded and crazy, Contact: Frank Pratt ol approximate!) 40 young From beating as e\er before So An- i. ikes just as hard a over the country, from as faraway as Los 735 University Ave. when the year comes to an end this M.i\ and geles, and as nearby as Nashville Students are Sewanee, TN 37383 Alma Mater s sung, don't think thai with divided up into workshop groups in various the sleeps, (615)598-1204 the students gone Sewanee sits and subjects of writing- poetry, fiction anddrama each oth- cause the fun has only started - and discuss. w illi positive criticism, Lisa Manley and Elizabeth Bell Take on New Jobs working ever these respon- Pearigen's offer, ami has been w .is worried that taking on new by Angela Ward is needed, Student in every office where help sibilities would give me less time in Since

( aieer Sen i " admits including Residential I de. \> imties Furthermore, Ms. Manley M-. Lisa Manley and Ms Elizabeth Bell', office Hie Education I >e ( tahman s in she was concerned aboul the "diK ipline pari Dean neither of whom are new laces to the Moun- Ml Saint s Chapel This pasl pos.non She says, "ididn twanttodo partmenl and nonetheless, serving Sewanee „i ii ie tain, are both, Ms was offered the position ol positive work w ith students in Slit summer. Bell Manley is all this fun. in new capacities this \car Ms "I Residential Lite at Rhodes I ol Activities and then turn around and dis Dins tOI as Assistant Dean ol Students, while dent working about the same time Dr Vandeimaas- in the Dean s <>i lege at YOURS! the same students IS Director of Student Activi- cipline still functioning as but when asked to fulfill Dr " apparently Ms. Manley 's res- Peeler resigned, as the Director ike However, ties, and Ms Bell is working Ms Bell de- Though she Vandermaas Peeler's position. ervations have been put to rest. of Residential Life the in Sewanee Join cided to remain the past three weeks have been "verj Manley assumed the position of As- admits Ms of While Ms Bell admits that the job has been buss she claims thai she has had "n lot sisiant Students after Dean Guerry \er> Dean ol work so far."' she claims to be pleased with the success ofdomi "lots of Students this t, m and is resigned as Associate Dean ol her new responsibilities, espe- and orientation Having Claire ex( ited aboul new Associate Dean st. ill training past June. Since hiring a about working with the dorm stafl hours .1 week as her cially lor working 15 require a national search Drummond of Siudents will Stephanie whom she describes .is a "greal group of mtern and Holley Monliel and Manlej has assumed " suitable candidates, Ms. "I really impressed by [the dorm studs in the Office of people am position of Dickson doing work all of the responsibilities ol the Bellsays Inaddi- help, as is rem.im staff] and their ideas "Ms Student Act.s .ties .s ., huge CLUB A. ol those Associate Dean, with the exception staff, Ms Bell the Asso- Hon to working with Hie dorm freeol the disciplining dunes ol discipline, for the aca- ing with the pertaining to student claims that she has enjoyed working Dean's position FREE is divid- ciate BUY IO BOOKS, GET 1 demicyearof 1995-96. Ms. Manley Il has been a who has already entire student bods She gay* AciiMties Meanwhile. Ms Bell, with the ing her lime between the Student forming relationships with ways, is now serv good expenence she served Sewanee in many s Common, where Office in the Bishop Residen- students as its Director of CHOICE Deans ol ing the University READERS works three days a week, and the Bell also confesses thai she enjoys position Ms Bell was asked to ful- Ms days a tial Lite, a Students office, where she works two from the administrative per- card. year of 1995-96 after Dr. seeing Sewanee as fill for the academic Mauley's responsibilities says. "It is inter- purchase any general reading book (ail books week. While Ms this sum- spective foi a change She When you Vandermaas-Peeler resigned will on same, Knss except te*tbooks), ma price you paid be entered Director Student Activities remain the side, to see how things of Proc- esting to be on this After 10th entry, the Ms Bell was an Ass.siant Proctor. your baiM OmU* e-*Q} the entails working with mer which as Assistant Dean, her job k were things that were mysteries average purchase amount will be determined, before w t it There Proctor here at Sewanee book evalu- tor and Head be applied as credit towards your ne*t general staff in selection, training, and like how Physical Plant may the dorm graduation. Ms to me as a Proctor, aa-^Ql today at she graduated in 1992 After purchase Gat your beaan (Mm the Bairnwick Women's this w hole other ation, working with works hut now I can see how the bookstore and start earning credit to pursue medical school and re- and students with Bell decided " Center, and helping parents part Sewanee works READ, school to complete the necess.us of THE MORE YOU turned to exude issues other than discipline. she could Ms Bell and Ms Manley both B requirements Houeser before THE MORE YOU SAVE! While Ms. Manley has harbored some con- and excitement about their school. Dean Pearigen he- great deal ol energy .1 to medical she is. nonethe- make results cerns about her new position, on new positions, and given the l.mtaslic Bell, who had been up the enthusiastic" seeched Ms less, "very excited" and "very w.-ik thus i.u on the Mountain, Christmas in 1993. to serve of their "I'm a Mountain before about the She confesses. has nothing hut great things job for the Easter Semester Sew anee certainly as matron in Johnson work about 60 to 65 hours o to workaholic I to accept Dean to look forward in [994 Ms. Bell decided and I week as Director of Student Activities, The University ol the South ,

September?, 1995 The Sewanee Purple Page 4 OPINION

gtaryb Me... (tint frttoxntt Oh, Mercy, Mercy ' van of the Students oj Qffii from ment, It's about lime. The entire Meiburg lovely flagstone danee floor in Established J892 by Jonathan received individual notices which ismucheasiei on the Feel faculty students of th« of it, is owned and operated bj the Editoi sessions, except. rhcSmwiifl Punh foi regarding the the editoi in could eliminate the need an finan< ial matters are dire, ted b) and ,,, ,i„ s, n ,ii> VII editorial and oddlj foi Dr Hale Richardson, who authoritj granted b) the Unr alternate venue foi wedding recep- ultalion « ith the stafl and under the feu nights ago, a friend reflect- A mused thai this could fil On reportedly Publications Board tions, provided the hand ( an ihe state of out beloved insti- senior edil .1 stall ing on editorials repn ipinion ol the ami mean lhal the University doesn't Unsigned the Chapel Steps New sidewalks -wsofthewriteranddonotro anlyi tution remarked to me lhal "This Signedcditorialsrepresentth consider him any ihreat al all ihe whimsically designed Hod views of the Purple jsn'l 'he Sewanee l cami lirorial While we're on the subject ol loomed and should be mailed directl; Hall, fumigated lor ghosts and still He's nol alone in ins feelings In niversitycomputernerv there is lhe matter of the Iropl Ihel under last-touch construction, have faculty, fact, he's .m heir to a long tradition disappearance ol (former) ,.r scnl v i.i I -mail also sprung From ihe earth ;e • Univer- signed with the wntei - ni telephon. or lamenting lhe state ol the < al- l ee Juerry who vanished also, was furnished with Dean to whal it once was, Hodgson sity as compared she appeared. rvcstherighttoeditlettersforlani 45-degree drivewaj lhal most as quick!) as willni porous Hue Sewanee thai ., lovelj final she 1 litor will serve as scuttlebutl says thai looks hke .m ice storm disastet wan- Student seems to lingei in Ihe minds of stu- ions quite follow ihe party line of- to happen We'll see And the didn'l dents, alumni, faculty, ing Jonathan Meiburg Editor enough on disciplinary mailers seem, School "i rheology, though con- ten Associate Editor donors everyone, il would I indscj Delaplainc equipped with begun, is appar- Thelibrarj isnou lass struction hasn't yel Robbie Griffith SportsEdiloi except the incoming freshman c budget on a modem book-theft detection de- NewsEditoi fortunate ently busy going OV« ranis Samman I oi ihe edification ol those chapel vices, which will likely save thou- ivln XrK ll "'" new. runs loui-uulhon-dollar lennic Suiion ' l ' and bewildered few. and to provide book loss that has Features Ediloi and staff of the Uni sands of dollars in laincsKarsl good grumbling fodder lor (he rest The faculty past, hut which Business Manager insurance rea- taken place m years i Bailej are versity. reportedly for ol us. several recent changes Advertising also presenl an interesting dilemma Mercedes McDaniel have all been (ahem) strongly worthy of note sons, Subscription! honor code that Mr. I Prati lor the rank more bricks encouraged to attend mandatory There are. ofcourse, ° regarding sexual harass- Continued on page and mortar. The chapel now has a seminars Di John V Reishman. Faculty Advisor subscriplions'are available for Purph is printed bi-weekly; lhe Sewanei closed 24-7), it is to demand that si: per year rhe i Iniversit) "i the South; turn down the "Toad the Wet 37383-1000 RANTT1NG/ they 735 University \venue Sewanee. TN Sprocket." (Have you ever pon- mail [email protected] as the Waldorf-Astoria of residential (615)598-1204 I by Montgomery Maguire and lhe linguistic senselessness To the credit of the residents. dered Scott Nystrom life band's name. Toad The they have not imitated the social void of this sprocket. Excuse me 1 How so pervades the halls ol wet Letters to the Editor First off. welcome back to lhal That is a deal w that about Guns n' Roses. Sewanee Before we get started, let Quintard. What's the ith Guns are good; walk in there, name for a band me (Montgomery) make a quick place, anyway'' You student roses are good, and God knows ( iill for ^-Consideration concerns about issues with going into the house of a plug for British Studies at Oxford. and its like please to are a good band. Anyone who hie and I'mveisitv policies friend whose parents have decorated they Marriott now requires an identi- This program is elegant and beau- in lhe Otherwise is either lying or has consider becoming involved like the Museum ol the says the dinning is guaranteed lo help the place fication l.ii.I to enter tifully run and loud Student \ssemhl\ Three represen- seems to be never listened to them is you are a real Confederacy There halls Most likel) this requisite in your average, unless is thai class as well as dorini- enough ) Anyway, the point tatives per little or no social interaction between place to prevenl students who are nol hawk be residents of HodgeSOU are prov- imi\ representatives will elected positive residents They walk by each other the on lhe meal plan from ealmg .i Iree Now, some very will ing thai living in an upscale dorm onto the Siudenl Assembly We silently in the halls, and occasion- iIm.it \ has sesuniv on campus dur- I lie I a changes occurred | unch social treasurer lo ihe does not preclude healthy also he electing a Amaz- ally make awkward conversation in system lo safeguard from the lossol ing the summer months is one year term. interaction Assembly, which a the bathroom with foaming mouths stolen hooks an apparent!) COStl) ingly. Hodgson Hall is close enough the Drastic positive change has also Main Students are unsure of toothpaste The only time one problem to completion lo allow occupancy. of ihe University the Ol curred in the one place we all Assembl) s role al and visi- person dares venture lo knock on These new deterrents are pi ig- ( onsensus from residents Us roles Continued on page 9 The Student Handbook cites Qumlard door of a neighbor (the doors are all matic ol iwo Ihings ihe students tors is that il has replaced he low lis implementa- and Ihe University's belov, the inflation rate pervise effectively lad ofrespecl some time .\vn lis emphasis was substantially "The AsseiiibU repiesenls stu- hand in year tion opens ihe way to treat a prob- lac* ol irusi l he) go high perfor- which has been over 4% per and makes recommen- upon full potential, dent opinion a childlike manner augmenting and inciting last few years (Statistical ab- lem employee m hand— mance, openness, trust, and commu- these lhe I and Adminis- dations to acultj l to create an adversial relation- other As the students pi. we States, l >94) and each The olher side is well ex- stract oi the United in ol stu- nication tration, il legislates matters supervisor and em- dishonorable and disrespectful b) Since communication was stressed ship between by pressed by W Edwards Demmg. a dent affairs subjeel lo ratifit ation ployee PIP. as applied bv the thieving hooks and meals, the Uni- dotal m ihe discussions of PIP. I will in- Administration, and leader of the worldwide TQ winch thel acullv and communi- University's administration, weak- versity devises safeguards movement He argued that form you what is being to the Provost and quality I it recommends one's job, attacks the in- demonstrate its lack of Irust in Ihe to me. Neither employee per- ens pnde in lhe performance appraisal process cated Deans ol Students ihe allocation ol tegniy of an em- students The University's deier- coopera- through the undermined studeni activity funds ln< rease ployee, diminishes perveri ihe students' Tnm l'( riod rents in lurn tion andteamwori and — Student Activity Fee Committee, crealiv iiv -\w<.\ inno- altitude V\ ith checks now in place, tend to create climates "The Student Assembl) splits its (• honorable be- 1991 -Oct 1991 vation m job perfor- a student i annoi be Pre PIP fan "I of fear and mistrust in legislative power with Order mance, and is an al ise ihe absence ol lhe choice lo Pre PIP Jan 1992-Oct 1992 power re- the workplace Gownsmen It has the 10 one's intelli- he dishonorable Thus, instead ol Pre PIP Jan l993-Oct!993 w, front to (Deming, Out "I the la) all concerns ol ihe students his action is honorable, he Jan 1994-Oct 1994 n gence. asking il Crisis 1^89) hum PIP Awareness oi student interests would is relevant now simply asks whelhei H is pos- Mandator) PIP Janl995-Julyl995 2.5 It of ac- Based on my expe- help the Assembly pla) a more note lo approximate University s deter- sible because the I , As rep- riences and participa- tive role in student affairs a increase for undermined honoi by re- the wage rents have tion in the IMP pro- resentative on the assembly. you can 4" employ- input of division the top rating "categorj moving in utility 10 be Ihe formance nor the ideas and gram. 1 find lhe following help communicate ihe in whose performance 'frequently I -and determina- ees, I lie result ol the niversit) is affecting salary situation at the University of the heads leresls ol the students I encourage em- students' degeneration is simple lack of relevance of lhe exceeded expectations . For . have tions The pari South: Since January of 199 1 1 those who are interested 10 take to It accelerates rela ployees earning from $5 00 Sewanee regicsses Ihe Chemistry de- PIP procedure lo the working assembly through elec - been employed in ranks with lhe in lhe studeni per hour, the wage increase towards taking up the pari lime, lionships in some departments re $20.00 voicing your partment as a non-faculty, lions, and b) simplv cost living adjustment frightened, untrusling, and reserved quired lhe imposing ol PIP by puni- after the ol hourly paid worker I am Ihe only concerns to us. out is from 3 to 1 2 cents least 759S ol all sal- was I adored millions hourly non-student employee in the tive threat Al Thank you merit w to live without mu- appear lohe below the per hour This is called the PIP Do we ish Chemistry department My job de- ary increases ' trust, and honoi four increase tual respect, covered eight points and inflation rale In departments of Sereebutra scription Paula appearances. PIP is B less employees, there is a mini- From all the ratings averaged 3 375 (the rales Ol Speaker of the Student Assembly Univer- Benjamin Stevenson C*97 inflation-compen- process imposed upon Ihe are from a low of to a high ol \) mal chance for an and employees in a tQtali and satory paj mi rease sity staff Making a Change An Appraisal of PIP Both ratings by my supervisor process involves consid larian manner by ihe administration me totaled 27. respectively So there The PIP locontrol and mini- and work on the pari of ol lhe I niveisily Assembly, a pan ol is validity to tins num- erable time The Student Performance appraisals are a convergent ihe division mize ihe pa) Ol lhe hourly employ- student bod) will \i\ supervisor lold me he rec- both the employees ^\ the governing issue human ber coutioveiM.il among purporting lo enhance and It constructive ees, while us elections m approximate!) ihe maximum pay in- heads fuels non hold is ommended resource professionals I lhe side and conflict within de- reward good and superioi p like k> encour- is ,, competition weeks I would crease Below review ol mj pay two represented bv the five page infor- partments ol two oi more employ- main ill students who are intere increase and percentages from lanu age mation paper On ihe performam e s stu- ees. Il robs division heads ol dig a voice foi Sewanee 1991 to lul) i" in being plan (PIP) lhal was improvement Cecilia Kelly is and reduces Iheir ability lo su- dent body and students who have Undei PIP uiv p. i\ in< rease nit) ,,i, ulated in ithin the I Iniversit) Page 5 September 7, 1995 The Sewunee Purple

THE SEWANEE CLUB OF ATLANTA invites you to our 3rd ftnnuaCSfeet Sfoot

benefiting the Dale Reich Scholarships

Saturday, September 16,1995

2:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Wolf Creek Gun Club

(site of the 1996 Olympic Shooting Sports)

Tonks, C'85 Live music by Redneck Greece De-Lux—featuringWill Catered by LowCountry Barbecue

i" < reek Parkwaj i akc 1-285 Camp "" '" (.o west f»r 3.6 mllci and left // \1erk Ktl for .7 miles. ATIASTA C> • Free skeet rounds (or purchase at site) • Bring your shotgun shells and earplugs • Gun safety rules apply • Non-shooters welcome ATLANTA those under 21 2 \ • Soft drinks available for AlPJORT • Rain or shine • Information: (404) 881-6548

Host Committee Mike Raeber Tom Followill

Temple Sara McDaniel Elizabeth Ed Hodges Tisdale Greg Esslinger Chris Millen Sumter Byron Attridge Tracy Spang Hudson Hunter Ewing Matt Toole David Beals Ned Moore Emily Jenkins Touchstone Tim Fitzgerald Patterson Kuthy Frank Burns Howard Jetmundsen John Julie Fowler Peebles Reggie Vachon Wade Caldwell Jones Frank Kelley Walsh Russ Furman Rusty Pickering Kit Chris Campbell Louise Juhan Anna Gaston Shannon Watson Ball Chris Collins Avery Rodis Glenn Martin While Sarah Gilbert Ralph Smalley Hen Michael Deadnck Forrest McClain Pat Guerry Schroeder Winston White Larry Domenico Mary Catherine Lorri McClain Williams J.R Hanks David Shipps Allison Duncan Elliott Mike McDaniel Michael Hoath Towsen Engsberg Sponsor Corporate Sponsors Benefactor Robert M Ayres. Ji Advertising Novelty Co Atlanta Alleen & James H Bratlon, Jr. Foundation, Inc. Exposition DayStar Christian Counseling Frederick R Freyer. Jr John F. Evans. CLU. ChFC Laurin M McSwain Lisenby Photography Bill Hugh L Stephenson Recce Tent Rental Reginald 1 Vachon. Jr Russell Image Processing, Inc.

John F. Evans required. Reservations Scholarships Chairman (404)881-6548 Please call One Midtown Plaza, Suite 1000 September 13th by Wednesday, 1369 Peachtree Street, N.E. available on day of event. No tickets Atlanta, GA 30309 h

September 7, 1995 The Sew once I'm pic Page 6 SPORTS — Changes Country Athletic Director Tops List of Athletic Cross New Katrina Nelson goals of the program. by much ol long io medium-range spent a majority of his life, was too Robbie Griffith concrete short range by up. Webb also has some very opportunity foi M."^ Webb to pass the fall season is upon the an foot- ( Ince again S/h ! ts Editot p.als. including broadcasting all home Division III athletics is re- time of year to dress Webb's respect foi SC AC. For some it is a over WUTS Under lhe direction difference between Di- ball games broughl markable He sees no „pfoi football games 01 to trek to the outer The 1995-96 academic yeai has Sports Information Director Larry as tar as llie amount Of new I and 111 athletics to see a Held hockey 01 laces within the ath- vision is reat hes of campus u itli n .i number of new department actively directors Dagenhart. the athletic and effort the coaches and many the slight new brisk- Thechanges start al the top ol wort join soccer game. To letic department. seeking a student color commentator to programs, but he does see a dif- the shorter days mean Franklin Tennessee who pui into their ness in fhe air and with Mark Webbo! Brown as lhe voices of Tiger Football Ron Both the si cross country' season. on July I for one thing look ovei as Athletic Director Webb hopes to eventually covei all football teams are excited aboul luneaftei an eleven is men's and women's Bill Huytk who retired in over WUTS in the coming years bul games the hold Webbbrin the 1995 season; however, men yeartennre with the rigers evened about the current proposition very first year anticipation as il is their ol coaching and adminis- beb ire h«\ much impressive amounl Webb had little time to breathe Cliff Afton. While Sewanee His most re- deci- under lhe coaching of trative experience to make some vital administrative i ng to displayed much success with the was thai ol assistant athletic di Both Gabby Alton has cenl position sions when he started in July. country and track teams it operations al Vanderbili women's cross re< toi lor internal (Women's Head Basketball ( oach)and Lisella former Ath- controlled both was not until Coach Bill Hyuck, jrsilj through which he (Women's Head Soccer Coach) Sue Boehme cross country aspects ol the Director and men's the financial and planning order to lake coaching jobs letic lei i Sewanee m thatAfton had an opportunity athletic program Webb was the summer Webb coach, retired Vanderbili closer l«i their homes over sand women's teams ol oneol the mosi successful con- foi the to guide both the men at the helm ( as interim coach hired e« ile Bakei recent practice. the Tennessee the Pink v- asoverheard al a " ceri events in Middle soccei team ami Bakei is dome \s I ady ngers no longei have to be jealous ol i 1993 can- men concert ol MarkWebb looks an excellent job He's still interviewing \, h \thleth Directoi they have Cliff graduated from Tennessee techno position women's success nou thai Webb heights in 1995. didates for the basketball coaching Sewanee aihleth \ to new Webb then moved as a coach too.' ,i i in 1983 on the niversitj with the input ol some mI lhe women Photo h\ I w Huti hinson. season with a and lra( k foi lhe men are entering the ,,,, to coach cross counlr) and he hopes lo have a coach theathletes Com- team lasl yeai ference in the attitudes ol veterans and freshmen. The I I ommodorc- Vanderbili and lead the ad) mid-September Anothei familial great mixture ol is a redeem- named by foi the sake of competition have its Best conference fin- such as junior Hollis Duncan, ( o x team to enier athletic offices runners, face has left the Fou lei I all Division III athletes em- graduated able quality that put in many miles on the Domain history It. 1987, he the ., heady i school reined over summi ; ,s Mis Mooney Graduate School ol bod) season Ian Cross and Bret Alexander, from Vanderbili** Owen 45 \ears as secretary ol the department this brings with him a number of lei also I and field Webb from Wesl Virginia and Managemeni and then coat lied track taken over as athletic sophomores Sewanee's already Jane Hawkins has since : ideas aimed to improve on display great potential School in Nashville job nessee respectively, a , Harpeth Hall and has done an excellent department Heenvisions Office manager sposition improving athletic season. Andrew King, the assistant athletu directoi oi for the coming taking m such a shori period transition. al education, intramural, and Uni- acknowledges, he s the physii recovering from an appended* mderbili \s Webb Coach Webb best sums up his first though new I ihink versity ufliness programs reaching the team shortly. In looks lorw ard tl i aiding rennessee I drawn lothis area ol couple months here at Sewanee when vears Webb also envi- dur- directoi al a heights m the coming Stuart, a formidable force rhe opportunity to be athletic busy, been challenging, addition, Jeb it's been "great, been all athletic programs to confer- his tradition ol sions lakmg k has seen the light and is Irymg .1 with the reputation and ing trac ol these are but very, very rewarding ence championship le\eK As all prepare for the ol an area that lie's hand at cross country lo Sewanee>cwancc in... theutc .."—-middle <* men- 1 HOC spring season. Between the above the many new- Football Prepares for 1995 tioned upperclassmen and Sewanee comers, the 1995 season looks quite prom-

ising. b\ \idari Arney Similarly lhe women have a strong force First-time upperclassmen run- put on of freshmen, Gather those kilts and capes and Michelle Parks, a senior The ners and veterans fall dresses Yep. you guessed it! those her fi- track Conference Champion, enters ,,; is and head - football season here Sewanee sport she says nal season of cross country, a Logan, along with his padded coach Allen shape for she only participates in to get in more excited about il entourage couldn't be con track. In addition, the veteran distance 1- doesn't feelhecould Phe fai 1 Coach Logan tmgent of Polly Bass. Abi White, Katrina play- ask lor a more diligent group ol Slafl and Nelson, Liz Ellington, and Susan Conner words "After 12 years ol ers R> put it in his team form a powerful crew of athletes. The football, these guys experience in coaching presence of many is also graced by the h.oc the best work ethic yet" first-year runners. Under Afton's Dan Frank, Darren strong With four new coaches form intelligent coaching, lhe team should Joe Davis, and Shap Boyd, I ogan Shutler, of dedicated and competi- push a cohesive core feels he has created a chemistry that w ill tive runners. teams ol the Sewanee back up into the elite teams Both lhe men's and the women's the four pre-season all conference With 8th open their season on Friday. September \< Louis I apulo, David Tudor SC players. [Tie* the Golf in the Sewanee Invitational on team is well Chris Murray and John Ishell. the Undenvood, look to wreak havoc on helundihc nonung game of senior Ken, Spectators are encouraged the r,gers. Course at 4PM. on their way. Other names to watch foron yeai Photo fry Lyn Huh hinson be guaranteed theii opponents this as il is the only time one can tailback Kent Underwood, yeai are starting and support our Tigers in this year s last years record and the on out be pegged by a stray golf ball James Spriggs. and Pete vastly improve on to not wide receiver home games. team knows this will be accomplished Edwards along with Jackson Harper will no doubt be forces to he reckoned with in the de- Stalemated return- fensive back Held Sewanee has five ^JffW^V* Men's Soccer put the off-season that everyone has seven returning on and with as soon found the ing offensive starters and around the penalty box. they to win" So come by Clayton Haden looks to in. this year we're READY and begin- defense All in all. the football team back of the net The end of the first up of lhe second half saw the Tigers step Entering the first weekend of the 1995 ning technical their game and utilize their superior Looks to Win soccer season, coach Matt Kern's Tigers had Hockey through the second half, concern. Having graduated ability. Then, midway leading ample reason for year's leading scorer Berkeley Little Kevin Rivers skated through the by Aidan Arney all-south performer Chris Cairns, freshman the the likes of team is solid in all areas of ball ihe attack, the Whittle, Hampden-Sydney defense and slotted the goalie Matt Koren. and sweeper Allen last goalkeeper seven players returning from Held voids in past the outstretched amis of their With team was left with both multiple year is Anne the players. Chapman Captaining the team this took place with 10 year's team and eight new would fill However, the final blow the lineup and questions as to who also contribute on the of- ladies' field hockey team be- Budros who will in match Exploiting Kern and her After the dust had settled from the minutes left the ad- the gaps another fensive end of the field The two newest Hampden lieve that they are on the verge of been answered. Sewanee's poor transition defense, first two games, very little had team, with whom Coach Kern that season ditions to the mounted a quick counter-attack championship The men packed their bags and traveled Sydney are Ihe speedy trans- year's learn is al least ten is particularly impressed, winning goal The 2-1 de- The focus of this Mount. N.C. lor their first two produced the game and freshman to Rocky conference championship Al- fer sophomore Jennifer Gorman Tigers looking for answers, yet victories, and a the year Hampden-Sydney offered cision left the sound stick games of Je.it Shivers demonstrated pro- they have not accomplished this Ann who path against Lynchburg College though Usell as the first opponent in Ihe Tigers' Sunday's game is year skills 1992. they believe that this the a result. since Neither team was truly prepared for the fren- duced favorable will be played ' The home games this year defensive lo repeat and who could argue match took place Without the services ol three So zied pace at which the field behind Quintard dormitory phi- returning regional All-Amen on the depth and .in organized attacking With Hampden-Sydney drew first blood when the Starters, Vaughan ,me and W atch "The best season field Rachel Riemer in goal and Brooke u onOUl loose ball Continued on page 10 Sewanee defense failed 10 * lear a and last hockey has had since 1992" leading the transition in the midfield, .

Page 7 1995 The Seuanee Purple ; P ntember7, EAGLE LIQUORS and Premium Wines 507 West Main Street (across from the 1-24 Flea Mart) Phone: 924-WINE & nvirNk WE ARE . . THE HOME OF LOW PRICES! responsible Eagle Liquors is proud to be to the for bringing competitive prices mountain.

with super We also have a great selection Cuervo, Absolut, specials on brands like Jose Bacardi, Skyy, Jim Beam, Canadian Mist and George Dickel, Wild Turkey, Tanqueray, Sea^r^ni^Just_tojiame_aJ^

House ... go past theWaffle Eagle liquors is easy to find the are located on the left in and over the freeway. We across from maroon stripe. Directly grey building with a the 1-24 Flea Market. Come check us out, you'll be glad you did!

Tennessee, and we purchase alcoholic beverages in you.must«t behP 21 vearyear oio^pold to Remember, ^ ^ ^ |Q September?, 1995 Vie Sewanee Purple Mountain Outfitters affarMk prices to tfiemnmmm!" •Mgfty quality catalog ****** Mountain Outfitters 91 University Ave. NEW Hours: Sewanee, TN 37375 Men. - Sat. 10:30-5:30 Phone-598-0098 1:00-5:00 S UI1 .

Welcome Back Sale! off All shorts $14.99 -10% of f Grateful Dead) - $39.99 - 10% All sandals (including off All golf shirts - $12.99 - 10% sleeve All t-shirts and short off thermal shirts - $19.99 - 10% socks, car.b.ners, etc. Belts, W igwam hiking We carry "The Band," Bison catalog mer chand.se. 5-10 shipments a week of quality We receive blankets, etc. Flannel-lined shirts and pants, Bdd jacket Polar Fleece, Anoraks, withus! Check vour catalogs and then check VILLAGE WINE AND SPIRITS SHOPPE

PHONE (615) 924-2288

"MakeYour Hours or Operation Party Stop Monday through Thursday at the 8:00am - 10:00pm Village and Satuiday Friday Shoppe »i 8:00am - 11:00pm Closed Sundays

welcome back the students, aand" Dannv would like to a Jamesi m» c Davn,vuld Ohver,Oliver Lee - Shoppe Crew, J.m and , The Village ^ GoT, gers .sh you the ^ Univers.ty of the South and w *«£ faculty, and staff of The Smokehou Se Restaurant and 1 on gin , w rs we o ffe r . **, s. ir^KSSr.;^™ ^ ^ F ;,:s::: aTr^asaar— H 0Pe see re a, the years and their patronage throughoutt r ^~^ai- for ^ SKK5SSi«SSI* ^nee residents in the years to come. '

1995 September 7, The Sewanee Purple Page 9 CONTINUED

Ranting, continued

least expected it - Ihe Tiger Bay Pub Main all symptomatii ol a greater ill affecting the

Ol us worried lhal Ihe absence of Selh I akei administration There is a general reeling thai

would spell certain doom foi the oldest drink sludenis aie met, firsi and Foremost with an

ing establishment in ihe Southeast I low i unfounded suspic ion

Ihe I'ube has bounced back and answered lake foi example the failed attempt ol

skeptics with near-in esonbrev. two mans students to moveofi campus I hose who

nights a week Wednesdn) is mug nighl do apply to live oil campus are Healed like

which at 50 cents a pop translates intoa mildl) • re applying foi a liquoi license during

entertaining nighl foi about ten dollars As prohibition While signing a lease continues

sinning sou feel like reluming ^\ Ihuisdav to be enough forlheresiofthecountr) n seems

you < .ni enjo) exot'u bottled beers from all onl) .i meaningles! e students

over the world for a dollar lift) rranslation are then forced lo contend with gelling ap-

fifteen wife-beaters (Budweisers) for tw proval from a hostile Lease Commillee before

1 res I lie \i 1 i semi a Residential poinl i forgei lhal you an thai final lew b) am

bill home too the Administration can weedoul Ihose

More important lo mosl people- than beer unworih) ol MichprH ilegc No« onsideralion

is lood and the Hub has not lost sight ol Ms seems lo be given to aniouiii ol lime wasted in

responsibility to provide Ihe sludenis with finding a bouse and drawing up a lease

good eals al reasonable prices ll is haul lo Shouldn't those who invest the lime lo serine

' express our enthusiasm about the new lunch a lease be allowed 10 meel Us terms f)r \V Brown Patterson Photoby Steven Uvarez pobc\ You go in there and swipe youi meal The administration - attitude seems m he Patterson, continued card |iis| like you would al Gailor, but then that il a Student is eager lo lease the domiS il criticism Dr. Patterson describes Lewis as Arts and Science al the Universiiy of the South instead ol being confronted by band hailered must he the result ol their desire to hosi rami extremely kind, encouraging, and open to new As Dean, Dr Patterson oversaw the revision and deep-fried Nickajack Perch or Imkes chv keg parties II is nol considered lhal some He added thai the character Anthony ol Sewanee's curriculum and admissions ideas Telra/mi (excuse Ihe spelling. I'm not Italian), ol us would enjo) having oui own bathroom portrayed in Shadowlands, a movie policy. Ihe reduction of students' required Hopkins you get to choose from a couple ol delicious and kitchen and are perhaps a little bored with about Lewis, was somewhat different from the course load from five to four classes per se- subs, a soup du jour and a salad bar with all dormitor) life alter ihree years (oi seven in mester, as well as the reduction of professors' "When I first saw C S Lewis I actual man the fixins You can also older oil Ihe grill as the case oi mans students who attended hoard- mistook him for the gardener.'* says Dr required teaching load from four lo three you would il you were "flexing" What makes ing schools) per semester. He encouraged depart- Patterson "The best word to describe him was classes is example occurred il a more enjoyable dining experience that A much more alarming undertake more independent study wore rumpled tweeds, possesed a ments to I hearty'. He all the food is prepared on a smaller scale so over Laboi Da) Weekend A senior in the m complexion and siraightforward to programs for sludenis and aided in ihe instal- florid was more attention is given to each aspect And versit) had het cat stolen and subsequently " la i ol writing intensive courses and the ihe the point ol being blunt lei's nol overlook ihe fact lhal you can smoke wrecked on campus Ralhei ih. in offei Patterson's weekly conversations writing across the curriculum program He as a resull ol It was Dr all Ihe cigarettes you wanl >' 'he same tune ss mpath) w hit h should be given placed such emphasis on w riling because he with C.S. Lewis on topics of religion and without ihe hassles you invariabl) gel when such a traumatic experience ihe student was theological believes that, Writing is the most useful thing morality thai led him to pursue a light in Gailoi led lo ridiculous accusations and threats " you up a college student can learn as- degree upon bis return to the United States So there were definite improvements made oi Honor ( nunc il trials Hei guill was When Dr Patterson stepped down as Dean He attended the Episcopal Divinity School over the summer and foi those we are thank- sumed b) those in charge Instead ol hearing.

the goals I and was in 1991, be fell he bad accomplished this imloilmialf proMi led neai Harvard, in 1958 ful However, on a more serious note, some •()h | he agreed lo ac- sel foi himself when ,...(• ii lo the he had . ni awarded his Master oi Divinity and was or- \er\ ugl) things have also taken place receni I) w m .in v.h wl to help you gel earlier lell the position eleven years He i her dained as an Episcopal minister He then be- cepl which merit Ihe concern ol ihe entire student bottom ol n she was told lo colle< leaching. it was tune lo return strictly to gan bis work toward ins doctoral degrees in thai bod) ITioughthe) have happened in differ- /'' m addition to his duties as Dean he < ontinued on page history and religion Dr Patterson was even- although eni aieas of academic and sot ial life, ihe) are twoclassesa semester He tually hired as an Assistant Professor of His- had been teaching now is in the final stages ol a book be began torj .it Davidson where the Dean commented ago but never found the time to com- thai Patterson had "more degrees than a ther- years

James VI and 1 and the mometer." though be bad nol yet received his plete, entitled King Reunion of Christendom When asked if this doctoral degree in history. Dr. Patterson j> Domino's was Ihe beginning of another career he admit- taught history at Davidson for seventeen years %* to with a smile. io being ahead) al work on In 1980 Dr. Patterson left Da\ idson take ted, Winchester another book on a new position as Dean of the College ol & Mercy, continued 967-4400 what are girls ' Girl) are trouble Stevenson's letter outlines (this page) The Girls, \n \'Ou nol troubled when you honoi code itself, which garnered an ambigu- yes trouble bdbbing breasts ' Does by the VC in bis seeshapely thighs and ous but intriguing mention Sewanee thought afemale body nol give Domino's welcomes Convocation address, seems particularly up lor the sight oi of 0U some son "I trouble exciting debate tins year As be seemed to acknowl- y to school. trouble! However, in their present situation students back edge, it's becoming more and more unclear girls are i "m. rsity oj flu South the what the code means, and bow much ofa safe- ,,, the serious trouble not exi iling tumble, they are guard it provides lor the students unfair Allowing girls to attend Sewanet was Hut Ibis is hardly a new debate. Recently, you and me.... rummaging though slacks ol did Purples while to both but lean- The girls am hanging Sewanee, we'll helping to put up the mural outside the office, : With one hour notice improving il 'I as some the not tee that tfo \ are I stumbled upon a two-page spread from standard, il raise the i ullural , hum. ih> girls 40s debating the usefulness of the honor code, deliver large orders (3 or more not evident Th<«nl\ chajigt thai \ along with another regarding the abolishment rtainly the possi- evideltt h the general downgrading of "I the fraternity System, which was a is to Sewanee anytime! girls have invaded dm sanc- : pizzas) SUC h University The bility at the lime Imagine' Along with They have broken our rules Yes, they improbable articles were giant, sunny ads lor tuary given broken out rtdes...The girls were Chesterfield cigarettes (with proclamations have to etoreme ihe privilege to wear slacks due extolling the fact thai the cigarettes do nol al informed "I ,,,1,1 \,. sooner had they been feci the nose, throat accessory organs") oi somt new privilege than they abusedit two deliveries every Wednesday. We There were editorials railing against manda- theii We also offer at meals not in slacks, but in vote to girls showed up tory chapel, or imploring the I >G to will meet you in front of the Bookstore at 12:0(1 foi jeans allow jeans, or, m;i '^51 blue students to wear blue was write how the. University Please call al least one Joe I could not of lunch and 6:00 for dinner. issue, intoning in dead earnest that Senator girls of how we the not and is not preparedfin McCarthy "is the firsi man to recognize hour in advance. not as humnns guts ari forced to treat them threat to America and acluall) have the don't dcseivt „,,/,, aswomcn.'when they to entei (c/ b„t do anything about it.' \ particular!) show themselves to he • that right let them • • BREADSTICKS laining to however, Hon' 'he BUFFALO WINGS letter ihe editor, such and'we will treat them as be quoted women. • Februarj 12, 1970 issue deserves to HENRY LODGl • CHEESESTICKS ai length what the) used to be Aren I TO \n CONCl RNED SEW \NEl Thingsain'l GENTLEMEh you glad September 7, 1 995 Page 10 The Sewanee Purple LIVING ARTS

Hallelujah Pottery Saturday Night Fever G. Sanford McGee Highway 64

flavor ol I lag > Mines I com Therapist i>\ GeofTre) kohl The distinctive Certified Massage theii ability 10 return to a classic style without seventies < like jusl another tired cover On Saturday night al 1 ake !heston amphi sounding • • DEEP TISSUE • Ihe SWEDISH theater, Sewanee students were Found '"movin' band. Virtually every member of band had was • SPORTS • (heir thanks" In (he ikinceable tunes of Dag an approach to their instrument thai dis-

lie begin- influenced by 70s music while produc- and Cool Joe l night's activities, tinctly words, "fresh ning behind schedule (as always) al " 4^ .mil ing music thai was, in their own " classic 70s style 598-5942 lasting until jusl pasl one, were spnnsoreil by and new This crisp take on Call the B.C Board allows Dag to stand out in the quagmire ol For Appointment Cool Joe & (he Funk) Soul Symbols, (he retro cover bands Open 9am-5pm opening band, played a blend of Ri Little Ass" demonstrated the versatility of Member AMTA References funk With 1 rather large ensemble musi- Gift Certificates cians, including i«>> female singers, a horns singer Bobby Patterson's ability to rise to sen- 598-0141 sual high notes and stoop into the choral chants that are so

...a hip-twisting, abdomen-pushing, characteristic of the music that has affected Dag's flexible buttocks-swinging, but still skeptical and improvisational style. l^laricR Cafe mob of dancers. Patterson admitted to the ob- 103 2nd Avenue NW Winchester vious influence of Sly and the Dine in or Take out player, one guiiarisi, a bassist, a drummer, a Family Stone as well as the more subtle inspi- Catering for all occasions keyboard player. Cool Joe rations of Earth. Wind and Fire. Curtis — percussionist, and a ( i filled thrr amphitheater with a musical com- Mayfield, and (he who was once) Prince. Nightly dinner Specials pleteness that could slow down in order to According to Patterson, Dag and Prince are QQ perform dance songs immaculately with sul- akin to each other in the fact that Prince did run try vocals, and then, speed up to a raucous some of the same project upon which Dag has groove from the 70s Cool Joe transformed a embarked, that is. he imbued the classic Ir-l^i crowd thai arrived skeptical of their music into grooves of the 70s funk bands with 1 990s sen- OPEN Mon-Thurs 9am-8pm a hip-twisting, abdomen-pushing, buttocks- sibihties. Fri 9am-9pm & Sat 9am-6pm swinging, but siill skepiical mob of dancers. Speaking after the Saturday night show, )MING SOON LTVEENTC^IEMfiNT Dag was equally well prepared for their Patterson was highly optimistic of Dag's fu- own show A hand from Raleigh. North Caro- ture. Warm receptions by crowds similar to is lina which kicks back to 70s ^mo\es. Dag has Sewanee suggest to the band that there a been playing together lor about four years. home for retro-funk in the musical realm of Formed from a motley ol jazz, fusion, and funk I99S. Success, though, entails de•dication t< J SU-flit bands in the Raleigh musical scene. Day came r 1 together lo dejp ei FubV pure and simple

II I I » M. 1 lie members arrived on stage wearing H COME S££ WHATS HAf?^"^ clothes purchased, no doubt, al a sec ( md hand at shnis u uh v, collars, bell-boi- FA^ store long, ide THE LEMON # ^ loms. .mil some Shiny tight blacklealher 1 heir \niui appearance suggested John Travolta in | day Niglu / vei and as their music would r ?rt>m prove theit 1 loihes were onlj as- T^^'^C^s^O^ latei nol the pects ol the band influenced h\ the styles of #~al C/R*V>TP^E AW EVHLtjAJ the late I "70s I Having started iheir show in a nearl) un- '*** L V*r% noticed fashion, Dag shppeii into a bass-and drum groove- thai affirmed suspicions ii 1 ^m possible influences from the supergroups ol the funk genre Dag s musicianship seemed accepted immediately by the crowd Jjm DAG MARVEL. Sc-KofcAAAN Rapidly moving from groups ofsocial chattel AnX>

1 _• listeners for innovative band like Dag. into a shake-dan. 1 1 organism, lhe»crowd the an came to life under the direction ol bassist/vo- Dag has roved around the country twice thus cahst Bobbj Patterson. Kenny Soule added far, serving up funk to unsuspecting and often the drum parts— the band admits to having suspicious crowds. A rising popularity in lor similar written most ol Iheir songs around Ins beal I ranee, and having opened hands

I Hi\ an Dennis, with his slicked-hack black hail 31 I and The Presidents ol the tailed Stales that recollected scenes of Grease, handled the of America, must have been on the hopeful VJB HAVH PAiK)T6I> JV\B' guitar v. lib ease, rocking back on his wall pedal mind of Patterson as he stared out into the

to give the characteristic rhythms of funk His starrj nighl sky of Sewanee. shrugged, pro- guitar solos were played with a raw edge thai vided his mood in one sentence 'Damn, we're °°^ stepped above the backing music without be- gonna get you some." and laughed about noth- Co\oM To CoWWT coming obtrusive Lisimba Moyenda adde 1 ing in particular m Ihe percussive tones, and Doug Gervey 1 Dm continued AM T° S P-»>.-/l\o*.-fAT. pleted the music w ith simple fingerings on the Soccer, hooRS-H keyboai'l losophy, Sewanee led the way to a 4-1 vic- tory. Seniors Brian Costilow and Andy Nix

Ranting, continued raised their level of play in roule to scoring thoughts and gel her story straight with Ihe two goals apiece. Overall, things looked Head-Quarters people involved in her conspiracy before they promising for the Tigers, even with Saturday's went 10 the Honor Council, Needless to say, pom result The solid performances put in by EVENINGS BY APPOINTMENT

she deserves an apology But what we all freshmen Travis Giles, Luke B.uneii, Kevin MASTERS OF HAIRCUTTING & CREATIVE

deserve is a little bit more benefit of the doubt Rivers, and Chase Speiden exemplify a solid DESIGNS FOR MEN AND WOMEN from those who would discipline us class of performers who are ready to step up "Two Suntana-Wolff Beds So how does all this lit in the same ar- and contribute. In addition, a tougher sched- For Your Convenience" ticle? Well, consider us to be luke warm ule will undoubtedly work into the team's fa- KATHY JENKINS SMITH-OWNER water. We have merely tried to sum up the vor as the season progresses. Finally, the 1995 24 UNIVERSITY AVE. SEWANEE, TN developed a solid identity REDKEN feelings of the student body as a whole after team has already 5TH AVENUE NYC 10 days back on the mountain. Again, wel- that is going to transfer into numerous victo- 598-0610 come back, and study hard. ries as the season progresses 1

Pace 1 The Sewanee Purple September 7, 1995 LIVING ARTS

Foo Fighters, CY Get into the Groovy

alwny into lhe fray The song itself is a by John Molinaro lone, although lhe song will anthem, as Grohl s.ngs to both him- suck no mailer who sings it generation, Making sell andthel ollopalooza Ciccone Youth- The While} "Tuff Tins Rap and is a to all my past n Nature Scene' are both SOlticallj rins call Album (DGC Records) lhe nations." deriding their slat interesting, as CY play with drum After signing B I OUple media image I II Slii I machines, scratching, and sampling, junkie ago. Records decided of years DGC pail m^\ pail exor- the excep- Around." eulogy material but they prove thai with to reissue all of their SST spun < !obain. begins the Beastie Boys punks cism loi ihe ol which in- tion of including this side projecl pounding drums and employs should nol lr> to rap Main ol the With Sonic Youth. Mike Wall, and cludes quiel verse, noisy chorus are also interesting and ,, familiar as noise-fests Mascis. The Whitey Album is J. structure Grohl s intenl innovative, yet overall Tlie Whites song and the disc 's names im- the band's as repeatedly sere uns "I SY's true elemenl clears he The White Album proves thai ply is pari post-modern stick their don't owe you anything I'll Madonna is bending pop formulas to 1.1 Album and part tribute to lhe tempo slows down to rather than gratuitously ai id Youth fans (posl- experiments For newer Sonic almost oppressive pace on \ playing wilh sounds an dating workshop Photo by may be a bil dales: the « reattve Goo ), Ciccone Youth Huh n slices. H dices, it even sialic" (which guest stats Greg very few ac- Molinaro shocking. There are Afghan Whigs) the vocals John - Fool igluen | the much of the album is tual "songs;" almost buried in ihe mire ol the (Roswell/ Capitol Records) are Word sonic exploration that delves into guitars "Date" is a Four-Letter a rhythm section as the heavy) white-boy rap. industrial sounds, slowly envelope Ihe song I K Dating Workshop and even the lack of filled Perspective on the Creative conversations, hausted" opens with a static (irack #2 is over a minute of ol sound sound guitai until (again) the wall Joshua McNeill makes-a-crowd trick. by silence). section starts Although this creative dating prO\ ided by Ihe rhythm three traditional There are only "X-static," however, this info-mercial spotlighted the humor up Unlike "Are you looking for a hot date?" does not pop songs, and one of them vocals pierce Ihe wall and of dating, it also lime Ihe place not to look would be of certain aspects Well, the the members of Sonic problems with even include break through the surface Dating Workshop" posed some important at a "Creative the Groovey," an ap- or Youth. "Into One ol the most rewarding as- atmosphere was dating. Do you date for quality Although the Madonna's "Into the out proximation of of Fan Fighters is thai Have "upbeat" as for quantity? Do you ask people pects fresh", "positive", and high- Groove," is by far the album's follows a conventional thai lie ( Jrohl never thoughts sal to learn about the qualities ihey promised, two incorporates light On the track, CY either thematically or on skepti- within them and yourself, or do you Formula, nervously on the sofa of my guitars, dis you droning and screeching songs When u is least ask someone out just so that Fighters rock"' Plain individual subconscious' living room: am the The Foo cal torted vocals, and samples of songs careen from style tq on a Saturday youi expected that 1 had to don't talk to yourself so you can put aside really such a loser to create and simple, I Madonna version chumini not popcorn and a original and style, tempos change, dating workshop rather night? Dating is posl-Kurl Cobain expectations come to a perfect pop song, and pos- silent or dearly social a nearly lars suddenly I all movie anymore. Nay. your of this album actually going on a date'' And ever be enjoy the hell oul than sibly the only dance hil lo "i less serious will not allow ring oul One the people are these that and intellectual level Even though and Pal what kind of by Some Youth To top it ejju will in- recorded iracks.-ForAII Hie Cow; work- for that anymore, but neither of Nirvana and need to come to a dating even har- Smear were one-half they all off. from n faux m// ffflro Millions of dollars are spent con. eivablj jcssly slides the focus of this glo- dustry. the Foo Fighters could shop? Luckily, Madonna's sampled ha. I monizes wilh lo a hard rock chorus and then manufacturers to pro- is con- was to bet- by major beer called "." this nol a rified info-merciol how is Mike Wall's be the vocals, Next in line .,,. while raging again*! lo people in their ,,„ a|i not create one. mote their product tinuation of Nirvana li anything.il ter your dating life, lhe early Madonna hit (specifically, the such as Cover of corporate machine audi- early twenties, and at places parts Beatles and punk- The program relied upon these are lhe is equal (Oddly, i Rathei than barely "Burnm' Up." entertainment industry which always Sewanee thai promotion is much poppier and less morose than ence participation, Madonna songs on lhe en- ol each son" for only two .i description needed The combined funds tare The lyrii makes one more receptive to the Although Wall covers typical album VOU lire album .) buy I he damn and student fellow- from the just go college libraries .. dramatic departure presented. 1 waited in an- give it a also product faithfully, he does be sorry Rie Foo I ighters to lhe the song top- won't ships i.\o not even compare noim. Crohl tackles his of what this bright-faced bass, a drum Seattle pop ticipation twist- he has only his may no! sp.uk a revolution in spent by the students on al- on leaving the oblique and to me To be honest, money female voice ics head man had to say machine, and a lone music like Nirvana ami Pearl lam cohol. Beer wilh lhe combination realm that Cobain chartered tried to sell me a blender accompany his abstract have the if he had singing back-up 10 ii". will they probably popular sex. these days, kicks oil with two did, ever I he album dices, and asks out the of the perhaps ni Sonic that slices, vocals Finally CY tackle mil,,, -nee oi ihe dating rather difficult [Tie 'This is a Call' starts across from me in En- nukes songs ol the declarations incredible girl w ho sits one of the worst pop Youth, bin tins is still an conning has degraded 10 the guitar and Grohl s art I with a chiming would not have wid- "Addicted To fillei glish, my eyes ' '80s, Robert Palmer's album with no disappointing want a beer vocals until the big started by question, "DO you Beach Boys-like ened even slightly He does man- Now 'jo on and gel yOU Olie re- l ve," and songs a male, then, must rhythm section jumps Fantasy Dales Searching lor sexist guitars and leading the audience's to subverl its original goggles Substance in a worst pickup lines. quire beer and their best and we has become scarce, rather, which we recorded on 3"-by-5" dale "substance" of the Week search lor dale wilh a Babe .ards before the show Although the "1 and a smiling lace lines were good lor a laugh, have word on the Dale is a four-letter a chipmunk in my pants—can you Maybe the members of is not the besl Mountain help me set it free'" are scared ol however, lor the dating community way to meel women; not lie lies ahead (or what may you men who want to project that whal we are ahead) Some speculate that confident look, the line "Give me rinding ourselves so that want it scared of your number before I don't there may find others. Or maybe anymore." was a good suggestion. we rather, fear within us at all; lhe door-to-door/creative dating lies no relax, and just want to have fun. salesman then proceeded to the we college oilers shirk the pressure that slides, presenting quotes of timeless option ... Dating poses a small knowledge by such gums as Parker because ofout oursmall community, Lewis saying: "Dating is like gel- With everyone constant interaction ting up on a springboard —some- limited And talk. Privacy is times you dive and sometimes you People dating, il il lor "creativity" in just Hop." and. "If you ask them out, as youareupahillwithoutalter- with you. but rains they might nol go out quest part of Sewanee's then they naiives As if I them out, you don ask the Qw alternatives (to the keg), will never go out with you." The for sounded like ative Dating Workshop slides went on to share techniques Unfortunately Sewanee s the end oi a m answer. "I avoiding the kiss at more Date" will.have to be which all ol -Dream less-than-perfecl date, Perimeter hike on the point in n a day us have experienced al one th0 if you become lust remember, lime These methods included lhe lYail delight. »•«»** ''dating" life " squeals with of no...- tnman; C 96 ever popular have mono." fake sick asksTs^osh "I can OS 8 Photo by Lyn Sewanee. one phrase ^ to get silly somefmes. a-nose-bleed-with keictiup-from Sewanee studs have it really is even cure-all it's Sewanee— the-restaurant.andtheor knock-lhe- you Hutchinson. door-with^your-fool-so-that-youi it's nol

- three - i "'Mu male -answers- and September?, 1995 The Sew nine Purple Page 12 BACK PAGE Back to the funhouse ANTI-POP MGWHIRTER (ihis Alcatraz which should be Pompeii), Gluttons for Humiliation. ..all of you.

by Trace Roqiiemore

OPINION: Here we are again. Why? I trust that ev- eryone has grown, had a summer full of merriment, and memories of adventures filled themselves with elaborate Nonesense! The probable truth is that the majority of the themselves campus did not progress in life, or augment in not exclude myself from any way during the summer I did either. What did you do? Watch this category of waste some TV? Read a few hooks? Kill Mom, pound her into country unexpectedly, and meat-loaf, tell Dad she left the hidden aware- then serve dinner? We all know (either in our most of the administra ness or practiced expression) that are in conspiracy lion, viz., ihe deans, police, whatever, (us. students) This against their very own livelihood the the forces of those new year is a chance to hetter combat shadowy figures purporting to he the just arbiters of the improvements and/or decay as far as your soul and mind is to ensure that you (we. concerned. 1 have a list of 5 ways this year (thinking me, etc.) get the due credit for work included): Let's talk about sniffing paint. The Ramones provided a satirical atmosphere in chanting, "Now

" However, isn't it funny how. if I Wanna Sniff Some Glue you aren't a voluntary drug user, the "power people" will engineering takes place? For see to it that the proper social must instance, physical plant and constructors of Hodgson us to hate us. Perhaps they hate us because they consider of comfort than he living in a comparatively greater stale they should they. We should not feel guilty for this Still, then com- not set off the fire alarm whimsically at 6am. and ment. "Heh. heh there 'aint no fire...l bet your ears hurt " recently been slightly informed ol Ihough Also. 1 have several cans ol the intentional action of a worker holding shave hal paint up to die ventilator system in order to off U possess addi- ever extra grey matter the youth mighl In traffic ticket tion, the circumstances under which 1 recieved a reveal- from the Sewanee police the other day were quite .is R by ing. An officer named T.J. (mistakenly read D me) slapped me with the offense of preventing an impor-

tant member of the faculty from parking at 4 15pm 1 informingly knew the blue-zone went out ol effect after straight to 4:00pm Instead of going to the chief. I went could old T.J.. called him DR., and was told that nothing be done for my juvenile disrespectance. That is all. World: Keep in mind that, just as Athens lost her wealth our nation if the Ca- 2000 years ago, so it could happen to nadians aren't appeased. WOMEN: Apparently, more and more women are start- interesting ing to smoke cigars. This is neither odd nor Basically, a bunch of them held an "All-Women Smoke- course. Out" in order to say. "See we're just like men." Of Alfred Dunhill presided over the affair, which was happy dame for him because these biddies fueled his pocket. One was so ecstatic about her new habit that she compared u to details. her first bra: "It's like getting your first bra - all the would ever how do you hold it, how do you do it Who have guessed that there were all these little things to learn?." dignity! said Debra Sassenralh. Please Debra - have some talent Heidi Fleiss is out and about (Obviously, her only was too precious to be hidden from the world.) to catch a Music: I don't think many of you managed Soul glimpse of the first annual The Soul Train Lady of Awards. This joke (a serious function fallen into the realis- artists in R tic mode ol parody) honored the "best" female and B. Gospel, hip-hop (whatever the hell that is) and other forms of expression from the wayside. Greece and Travel: I met some distant relatives in no more they were so beautiful that 1 promised to make jokes about incest. This promise lasted for about 7 2

hours.. .until I saw some midgets in Switzerland.

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