ARTISTIC INSPIRATION: SOURCES AND FORCES THAT PROMOTE ARTISTIC WORK

Linda Clark Johnson B.A., California State University, Chico, 1979

PROJECT

Submitted in partial satisfaction of the requirements for the degree of

MASTER OF ARTS

in

EDUCATION (Curriculum and Instruction)

at

CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, SACRAMENTO

SPRING 2010 ARTISTIC INSPIRATION: SOURCES AND FORCES THAT PROMOTE ARTISTIC WORK

A Project

by

Linda Clark Johnson

Approved by:

______, Committee Chair Lorie Hammond, Ph.D.

______Date

ii Student: Linda Clark Johnson

I certify that this student has met the requirements for format contained in the University format manual, and that this project is suitable for shelving in the Library and credit is to be awarded for the project.

______, Associate Chair ______Rita Johnson, Ed.D. Date

Department of Teacher Education

iii Abstract

of

ARTISTIC INSPIRATION: SOURCES AND FORCES THAT PROMOTE ARTISTIC WORK

by

Linda Clark Johnson

This Project is an Alternative Culminating Experience for a Master of Arts in Education: Curriculum and Instruction with an Elective Emphasis on Arts in Education. It follows Pathway I: Artist as Educator. This project examines the question, "Where does artistic inspiration come from and what promotes or inhibits it?" By studying her own artistic practices in depth and reflecting on her findings, the author discovered what blocked her creativity and which practices promoted artistic production in order to create personally meaningful artwork. The author explored this question and documented her creative work using a narrative research approach. She studied her own creative process by reading relevant literature, interviewing other artists, making and critiquing collage artwork, attending

iv painting workshops, and keeping a detailed journal. Understanding the sources of creative inspiration is one key to the success of students of art at school. Knowing what types of art experiences promote creative freedom and confidence will enhance a teacher's ability to bring meaning to art making in the classroom. This knowledge will not only promote the production of student artwork, but also will transfer to other creative problem solving situations, and will become a tool for students to lead productive and satisfying lives.

______, Committee Chair Lorie Hammond, Ph.D. ______Date

v DEDICATION

For my Dad. He got me started on my artistic journey and his memory keeps me going.

vi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The author gratefully acknowledges Dr. Lorie Hammond, Dr. Crystal Olson, and Dr. Karen Benson of the Department of Teacher Education at California State University, Sacramento. Throughout the course of this project, the support of these three incredible mentors went above and beyond ordinary expectations. Without their love and guidance, and their contagious passion for the arts in education, it would not have been possible to complete this work. The author also would like to express appreciation to Bonnie Bedford-White, the “Ms. Stott” mentioned in this work. She was an inspiring mentor 35 years ago, and she continues to be the kind of teacher that opens her heart, without reservation, to her students and friends.

vii TABLE OF CONTENTS

Page Dedication ...... vi Acknowledgements ...... vii List of Figures ...... ix Chapter 1. INTRODUCTION ...... 1

2. LITERATURE REVIEW ...... 6 3. THE PROJECT ...... 31 4. REFLECTION ...... 70 Appendix ...... 89 References ...... 99

viii LIST OF FIGURES

Page Figure 1: “Phoenix” oil on canvas by Hamilton Clark ...... 33 Figure 2: “Japanese Winter” collage on mat board ...... 47 Figure 3: “Waiting for Spring” watercolor ...... 48 Figure 4: “Summer Tanager” collage on masonite ...... 52 Figure 5: “Costa Rican Moon” collage on masonite ...... 54

Figure 6: “Sunny Side” collage on masonite ...... 56 Figure 7: “Sunny Time” collage on masonite ...... 58 Figure 8: “Tiffany Bluebird” collage on masonite ...... 59 Figure 9: “Tower Raven” collage on masonite ...... 61 Figure 10: “Teapot” collage on masonite ...... 63 Figure 11: “Gauguin’s Grackle” collage on masonite ...... 64 Figure 12: “Dumb Bunting” collage on masonite ...... 66 Figure 13: “Cactus Warbler” collage on masonite ...... 67

ix 1

Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION This Project is an Alternative Culminating Experience for a Master of Arts in Education: Curriculum and Instruction with an Elective Emphasis on Arts in Education. It follows Pathway I: Artist as Educator. The author chose a narrative research approach to the ongoing study of her own work. Where does artistic inspiration come from and what promotes or inhibits it? This core question has both fascinated the author and thwarted her artistic endeavors for decades. By studying her own artistic practices in depth, as well as the process of other artists, and reflecting upon her findings, she discovered the sources of her own creativity and gained a greater understanding of practices that promote artistic production. This study of the creative process has importance both to the author and to other artists, students, and teachers of the arts. Her research and reflection helped her to understand the sources of her inspiration, to increase her artistic productivity, and to develop her studio regimen. She ultimately created artwork that was visually engaging and held great personal meaning and importance because of the use of personal images and symbols. Artwork that embodies significant personal meaning potentially creates powerful experiences for viewers. The author wanted to give audiences these experiences. Understanding creative inspiration is one key to the success of students of art. Art education is not only about technique and visual theory. In the author’s experience however, this is what is primarily taught in school from the primary grades through college. Understanding what types of art experiences promote creative freedom and confidence, and distinguishing them from those that are counter-productive, enhanced 2 her ability to bring meaning and joy to art making in the classroom. Working primarily alone, the author initially examined and reflected upon her personal history of creative experiences from childhood to the present, particularly noting her relationship to the concept of artistic inspiration. She created collages and kept a journal recording her thoughts during their creation. The work for her project was created in her home studio. She also worked with a group of artists from the Arts in Education Masters Cohort V to discuss work-in-progress. As a culminating event, an exhibit of completed artwork was planned for July 2010. There are many ways that the author explored and documented her creative journey—journaling, interviewing other artists, reading relevant literature, painting and making collages, working with mentor teachers, and, finally, exhibiting her work. The author used a journal as a tool to record her observations regarding both personal and practical creative blocks, to note sources of inspiration, to record her personal creative history, to record ideas for new pieces, and to reflect on works in progress. To enhance her learning she interviewed practicing artists about their sources of inspiration and their own creative process. Interviews were conducted by e-mail (see Appendix). During the entire course of the project the author’s most important activity was creating artwork. Collage was used as a springboard for developing interesting imagery and compelling compositions. Special attention was paid to the selection of images that held personal significance and to the meanings of these symbols. A series of small collages was designed to serve as sketches for future watercolor paintings. Completed collages were digitally scanned. Meetings with artists from the Arts in Education Cohort provided support and additional feedback on works in progress. Finally, cohort artists organized an art show which involved publicity, gallery 3 planning, preparation of work for presentation, hanging the show, and coordinating a reception. The author has worked in the mediums of collage and watercolor for several years. This new work was a departure from previous work because of its focus on personal imagery—its selection, symbolic meanings, and the secondary meanings created when images were combined. Repeated images and color choices were noted and their symbolic value considered. This body of work also differed in process from previous collage work. For this project collage pieces were used as a planning tool for future paintings, instead of being created as finished pieces in themselves. This process was evaluated on its effectiveness for producing a volume of work and on whether or not this method helped the author connect with her inspiration. As a measure of success, the author evaluated completed work on the level of the emotional connection she felt to it and its relationship to a set of criteria for the body of work defined as the spine of the project. Successful work also pushed previous boundaries by using new imagery and techniques. Reading to support the author’s research included literature from two areas. The first examined historical and current theories and practices of the arts in education in the United States. Secondly, the author studied literature on creativity theory for artists. She focused on identifying and categorizing sources of artistic inspiration ranging from the highly spiritual to the very practical. Ultimately, the experience of examining her own inspiration, creative process, and artwork in depth influenced and inspired the author’s teaching. She gained confidence by clearly understanding what does or does not promote her creativity and personal investment in her artwork. The author learned ways for students to think about their own creativity and ways in which a teacher can enhance a student’s 4 ability to view the world through the lens of the creative artist. This knowledge not only promotes a student’s production of artwork, but also transfers to other creative problem solving situations and becomes a tool for leading a productive and satisfying life. The greatest limitation to the success of this project was time—time to paint, time to reflect and write, and time to read. As a full time 3rd grade teacher at a busy, parent participation school, the author had important obligations that she was very committed to. Striking a balance between the time needed to produce a meaningful body of artwork and the demands of her job provided a great challenge. Vocabulary relating to the field of art, as well as vocabulary specific to the mediums of collage and painting, was used in this research paper. Understanding the following terms will facilitate understanding of the author’s project. Definitions range from specific terms to more conceptual terms. Some of the vocabulary words have multiple meanings, but the author has included only the definitions that relate to their usage in this paper (definitions retrieved from http://www.artlex.com/, February 16, 2010). Adhesive – Substances, like glues, pastes, cements, which cause adhesion, or stickiness.

Collage – A picture or design created by adhering such basically flat elements as newspaper, wallpaper, printed text and illustrations, photographs, cloth, string, etc., to a flat surface. Most of the elements adhered in producing most collages are “found” materials. Composition – The plan, placement, or arrangement of the elements of art in a work. Graphic design – Art and design mostly for commercial purposes—for such things as logos, letterheads, packages, advertisements, posters, signage, books, Web 5

pages, and other publications. Illustration – A design or picture in a book, magazine or other print or electronic medium that explains the text or shows what happens in a story. Inspiration – Somebody or something that stimulates a person to a high level of feeling, to creative thought, or to achieve the making of art. Left brain – Refers to a theory in which the left side of the brain is responsible for reading and verbal tasks, while the right brain is the creative side, responsible for art and spatial comprehension.

Masonite – A trademark used for a type of fiberboard employed as a surface for painting, but manufactured principally as wallboard for use in insulation, paneling, etc. It is dark brown, with one side that is very smooth, and the other bearing the texture of an impressed wire screen. Mixed media – A technique involving the use of two or more artistic media, such as ink and pastel or painting and collage, that are combined in a single composition. Muse – Generally, a guiding spirit or source of inspiration. Right brain – Refers to a theory in which the right side of the brain is the creative side, responsible for art and spatial comprehension, while the left side is responsible

for reading, verbal, and mathematical sorts of tasks. Support – The material providing a surface upon which an artist applies color, collage, etc. Thumbnail sketch – A very small and loose drawing. Watercolor – Any paint that uses water as a solvent. Paintings done with this medium are known as watercolors. 6

Chapter 2 LITERATURE REVIEW This literature review summarizes and compares literature on the following subject areas: the theory and practice of the arts in education and the sources of artistic inspiration ranging from the highly spiritual to the very practical. As a teacher, the author is interested in nurturing creative thinking in her students. An understanding of their sources of inspiration is an important component of their education in the arts. The literature on these two topics creates a context for the author’s project, which explores her personal journey relating to artistic inspiration and its implications for teaching.

The Theory and Practice of the Arts in Education The world is changing at a rapid pace. Technology and new media move information faster every day. Borders between cultures and countries are gradually being diffused. What kind of mind should educators cultivate to keep pace with these changes and to prepare students for the world of the 21st century? Well-educated citizens need to have a skill set that goes beyond the traditional Three R’s. They need to be flexible, open-minded communicators to understand and resolve the issues that occur as many different cultures come together. They need to be curious, creative, problem solvers. Above all, they need to have the desire and skills to continue listening, learning, and understanding, as many new and diverse ideas come into play. Author Daniel Pink, in his book A Whole New Mind: Why Right- Brainers Will Rule the Future, stated that we need to master six “high-concept and high-touch” senses for the new age. They differ from the traditional left-brain directed reasoning skills valued in school in the past. The new skills he described are design, story, symphony, empathy, play, and meaning (2005, p. 65-67). What sets these skills 7 apart from those traditionally taught is that they are much more holistic in nature and not easily measured by standardized tests. They emphasize genuine understanding over factual knowledge. To educate the kind of citizens that are needed for the future, what kind of schooling will be needed? Before exploring the answers to that question, one must examine views on appropriate school curriculum over the past century. In Education at the Turn of the Century: A Crucible for Curriculum Change, educational researcher Herbert M. Kliebard described and compared four major educational reform movements. Reformers from these movements vied for control over the direction of school curriculum in America in the late 1800’s. The first group of reformers, the humanists, lead by Charles W. Eliot, believed in the ability of all children of all classes to learn. They sought to develop citizens in accord with the humanist values of the power of reason, sensitivity to beauty, and high moral character. They felt that the same curriculum should be offered to all children to prepare them for life. The second group, the developmentalists, lead by G. Stanley Hall, felt that the curriculum should be based on the scientific study of the development of children. The third group of reformers was the social efficiency educators. They, like the developmentalists, based many of their ideas on scientific study. Instead of looking at children, however, they looked to current practices in American industry and sought to create an efficient, waste-free, educational system and society. They believed that waste could be eliminated by creating standards to focus the curriculum and by developing tests to measure progress towards standardized goals. The fourth and final group of reformers, the social meliorists, saw schools as “a major, perhaps the principal, force for social change and social justice” (Kliebard, p. 24). Their main proponent, Lester Frank Ward, believed that “the power to change things for the better lies in our hands and in the social institutions we 8 create” (p. 25), including the curriculum of public schools. These four reform groups: the humanists, the developmentalists, the social efficiency educators, and the social meliorists, laid the foundation for a debate over the role of schools and curriculum in American society. Broadly stated, the controversy centered on whether to emphasize a broad set of thinking skills over a more narrow, yet testable, curriculum emphasizing specific knowledge. This fundamental debate over what constitutes an appropriate curriculum continues today. Out of this climate of change emerged John Dewey, a teacher, philosopher of education, and proponent of school reform. Dewey would become the dominant American educational philosopher of the 20th century. His own theory of curriculum was “not directly allied to any of the competing interest groups but was an integration and especially a reconstruction of certain of the ideas they were advocating” (Kliebard, 1982, p. 23). Dewey was a champion of progressive education and strongly believed in ideas and practices that aim to make schools more effective agencies of a democratic society. Progressives advocated for an education that had two essential elements. The first was a respect for diversity. The second was a focus on the development of critical, socially engaged intelligence which enabled individuals to understand and participate effectively in the affairs of their community. Progressive educators also insisted on the importance of the emotional, artistic, and creative aspects of human development (“A Brief Overview of Progressive Education,” n.d.). Dewey felt that children learn by having direct experiences that are in accord with their interests and developmental needs and formulated his theory of experiential education around this idea. He stated: The child’s own instincts and powers furnish the material and give the starting point for all education. Save as the efforts of the educator connect with some 9

activity which the child is carrying on of his own initiative independent of the educator, education becomes reduced to a pressure from without. (Dewey, 1897, pp. 77-80) The concepts of continuity and interaction are central to Dewey’s theory. By continuity Dewey meant that: We learn something from every experience, whether positive or negative and one’s accumulated learned experience influences the nature of one’s future experiences. Interaction builds upon the notion of continuity and explains how past experience interacts with the present situation, to create one’s present experience. (Neill, 2005) Many contemporary educational reformers and theorists have been influenced greatly by Dewey’s progressive ideas. They have expanded and adapted his concepts, retaining his emphasis on the value of experiences in learning and of meaningful connections to the student’s interests and needs. One educational reformer with direct conceptual links to Dewey is Donald Arnstine. In Philosophy of Education: Learning and Schooling, Arnstine explained his views on the purposes of school curriculum. Above all, the curriculum must coincide with students’ purposes if real learning is to occur. A main goal of schools should be to help students learn to learn. He stated that children learn, and retain what is learned, when they have developed a disposition to learn. This disposition develops when teachers create appropriate contexts for learning and the learner’s purposes are addressed in the lesson. “For learners to understand the instrumental value of most skills, they have to see how they are embedded in broader activities which they enjoy or at least find useful” (Arnstine, 1992, para. 34). When a student has a lesson experience that correlates with these purposes, a positive emotional connection is made, and the content of the lesson is on 10 its way to becoming lasting knowledge to the student. When students are having satisfying emotional experiences in the learning process, they develop their disposition to learn to learn. They will want to continue to learn because it is relevant, meaningful, and purposeful to them. When connected to Dewey’s concepts of continuity and interaction—that the aims of one experience come from the outcomes of the previous one—a positive cycle of learning is established for the student. He will want to continue to learn and build upon his previous enjoyable learning experience, and he will further develop his own aims and purposes. Another educational philosopher, Stanford University professor Elliot Eisner, described his beliefs about the purposes of education and the many ways in which students can come to know. In his collection of essays, The Kind of Schools We Need, he advocated for an educational culture in which all students have an opportunity to develop multiple forms of literacy. By this he means, “the development of the student’s ability to secure meaning from the arts, the sciences, mathematics, and, indeed, from any of the social forms from which it can be construed” (Eisner, 1998, p. 7). The current educational system puts a heavy emphasis on one form of literacy— linguistic—and neglects the development of the other forms. Children come to school with a range of learning styles, not all linguistically based. Eisner emphasized that the educational system, in order to be equitable and allow access to the curriculum for all children, must play to children’s individual strengths. It should allow them to show what they know in their preferred “language.” At the same time, schools need to develop students’ understanding and fluency in other forms of literacy as well. Eisner, like Dewey before him, believed that self-realization should be an important aim of education. He explained the need to allow education to develop the individual’s strengths. He advocated for a shift in curricular aims toward an 11

“individually referenced balance” that “fosters the development of those aptitudes, proclivities, and interests that individual students wish to pursue; in short it fosters productive idiosyncrasy” (Eisner, 1998, p.113). Taking a broad view, development of an individual’s unique strengths would, in turn, strengthen our society. This emphasis on the individual also supports Eisner’s concept of educational equity. He felt that equity is best served when each child is taught with respect to his needs in a way that individually helps him come to know and understand. Howard Gardner, Harvard University professor and educational reformer, also echoed John Dewey’s concepts in his theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner described the multiple ways that people can be smart in his 1983 book Frames of Mind. The intelligences he named are linguistic, musical, logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, intrapersonal, and interpersonal. Students posses all of these intelligences, but have preferred intelligences or learning styles. Gardner believed that educators need to have an understanding of the multiple intelligences so that they are able to instruct students in their preferred style. The idea that a student’s education should suit his individual learning style reflects Dewey’s attitudes about the value of knowing and understanding the needs and interests of the child in order to best educate him. Gardner also emphasized that teachers need to bolster a student’s less preferred styles, creating a balance. He explained: If we can mobilize the spectrum of human abilities, not only will people feel better about themselves and more competent; it is even possible that they will also feel more engaged and better able to join the rest of the world community in working for broader good. (Gardner, 1983, p. 12) Like Dewey, Howard Gardner valued experiential education in which students would be immersed in learning activities and would be educated with an emphasis on 12 understanding. He felt that depth of experience was better than being exposed to a large quantity of facts. To offer real experiences to children he envisioned a museum, apprenticeship, exploratorium, or discovery center classroom model in which students would work in learning teams on projects with an adult expert. In Multiple Intelligences: The Theory in Practice he explained: If one wishes to have any chance of securing understanding, it becomes essential to abandon the misguided effort to “cover everything.” Broad coverage ensures superficiality: at best, heads become stuffed with facts that are forgotten almost

as soon as the short-answer test has been administered. (Gardner, 1993, p. 191) Dewey (1934) in Art as Experience described having an experience as an interaction between a live creature and the surrounding world. He went on to explain that an experience is a single complete event that runs its course from inception, through development, to fulfillment. An experience includes practical, intellectual, and emotional components. Emotion acts to unify the experience into a coherent whole. The emotion inherent in the experience is also what gives the experience the capacity to become an aesthetic experience in which all the parts of the process are linked to one another. If the emotional component of a genuine Deweyan experience is one of the things that makes it memorable and complete, then lessons designed to be positive, unified experiences for students have the potential to become memorable lessons. If it is necessary for students to have complete and meaningful experiences at school, in which real and lasting learning occurs, schools need to create opportunities for students to have these experiences. Education in the arts creates the conditions for these experiences to occur. Eisner advocated for the arts as an essential component of the school curriculum 13 because they provide the opportunity for students to exhibit their learning in diverse forms. He emphasized the ability of the arts to develop ways of knowing and expressing ideas beyond that which words alone can express. In practice this means that “literature, the visual arts, music, history, theater, and dance, as well as mathematics and science, would be recognized as cognitive in character requiring intelligence and providing insight, understanding, and experience worth having” (Eisner, 1998, p. 107). Eisner also explained the importance of the dispositional outcomes of art education. He stated: I speak of dispositional outcomes such as the following: a willingness to imagine possibilities that are not now, but which might become. A desire to explore ambiguity, to be willing to forestall premature closure in pursuing resolutions, and the ability to recognize and accept the multiple perspectives and resolutions that work in the arts celebrate. (Eisner, p. 99) In real life, in the world of the future, students will be faced with problems that require them to consider multiple acceptable solutions. This open-minded explorer is the kind of student we need to develop for the next century. Author and lecturer Daniel Pink agreed with the importance of the inclusion of the arts in education: The wealth of nations and well-being of individuals now depend on having

artists in the room. In a world enriched by abundance but disrupted by the automation and outsourcing of white-collar work, everyone, regardless of profession, must cultivate an artistic sensibility. (Pink, 2006, p. 69) In A Whole New Mind Pink identified six senses that he believed are essential in the world of the future, many of which have direct connections to arts education. The sense he called design requires artistic thinking. “Today it’s economically crucial and personally rewarding to create something that is also beautiful, whimsical, or 14 emotionally engaging” (Pink, 2005, p. 69). On the sense he calls story he stated, “What matters more now is the ability to put facts into context and deliver them with emotional impact” (Pink, 2005, p. 69). The third sense that could be developed by art education is symphony. “Symphony is the ability to see the big picture, connect the dots, combine disparate things into something new. Visual artists in particular are good at seeing how the pieces come together” (Pink, 2008, p. 278). There are many current educational practices in the arts that provide students with Deweyan experiences and the opportunity to grow as individuals in accordance with their own gifts and needs. Reggio-Emilia is one such approach. “Reggio follows the principles of John Dewey and progressive education in general: children are seen as natural learners who should be the central inventors of their own learning” (Hammond, 2008) [Powerpoint slides]. In a Reggio school, children’s interests drive play-based activities centered around themes. The children work together, interacting with supportive teachers and parents to create artwork or other creative products. Author Boo Yuen Lim, after watching a Reggio painting session, concluded that, “Rich experiences ensure vivid memories and stronger visual images; thus painting goes beyond art and aesthetics, and is viewed as a cognitive tool for higher symbolic thinking” (Lim, 2004, p. 117).

Orff Schulwerk, created by German composer Carl Orff, is a music and movement program for children. The Orff Approach is based on things children like to do: sing, chant rhymes, clap, dance, and keep a beat. Children first learn to hear music and rhythms and later have the opportunity for more formalized music training. Orff Schulwerk is flexible and fun for children—improvisation and exploration in a noncompetitive group are key components of this approach (“American Orff Schulwerk Association”, 2009). The Orff Approach is in keeping with Dewey’s 15 emphasis on the value of experience. Another music and movement program, Education Through Music or ETM, also combines song and play in order to be compelling to children and build intelligence through its activities. ETM lessons are based on folk songs and combine whole body or hand movements, rhythm, and language, as well as social interaction with other children. The atmosphere of an ETM lesson is joyful and playful. The Richards Institute, an organization that trains ETM teachers, stated that: ETM provides an “Aesthetic Foundation for Thinking.” Aesthetic moments open the child to a world of awe and wonder, compelling them to ponder, imagine, create—to be thoughtful. This natural curiosity and desire to learn promotes child-directed leaning in all subjects. (“Richards Institute”, 2009) The Waldorf Approach is a type of schooling based on the educational philosophy of Rudolph Steiner. Steiner felt that it was important to educate the whole child—mind, spirit, and body. He also respected the individuality of each child. Steiner explained: In training the mind and training feeling, we must give particular attention to the individual characteristics of the child. As teachers, we must be capable of forming the instruction so that the child does not simply receive something

intellectual in the instruction, but enjoys the instruction in a aesthetic way. (Steiner, 2003, p. 28) In Waldorf schools the curriculum is designed to follow the natural stages of development and readiness levels of children. For example, children are not expected to begin reading until they are interested in reading and ready to read, often around seven or eight years of age. For young children, the classroom environment is homelike, with furniture made of natural materials, and access to the outdoors. The 16

Waldorf Approach emphasizes the role of imagination and creativity in learning and young students are allowed plenty of time for creative, free play. Through art-rich programs such as these educators can nurture the creative, empathetic, well-versed communicators that the world of the future demands. Howard Gardner cautioned educators in Five Minds for the Future, Earlier, I introduced the five kinds of minds that we need to cultivate for the future, if we are to have the kinds of managers, leaders, and citizens needed to populate our planet… • Individuals without one or more disciplines will not be able to succeed at any demanding workplace and will be restricted to menial tasks.

• Individuals without synthesizing capabilities will be overwhelmed by information and unable to make judicious decisions about personal or professional matters. • Individuals without creative capacities will be replaced by computers and will drive away those who do have the creative spark. • Individuals without respect will not be worthy of respect by others and will poison the workplace and the commons. • Individuals without ethics will yield a world devoid of decent workers and

responsible citizens: none of us will want to live on that desolate planet. No one knows precisely how to fashion an education that will yield individuals who are disciplined, synthesizing, creative, respectful, and ethical. I have argued that our survival as a planet may depend on the cultivation of this pentad of mental dispositions. (2006, p. 18-19)

Sources of Artistic Inspiration Artistic work is dependent upon creative inspiration. Inspiration in its most 17 literal sense means “a divine influence on human beings,” but it also can mean “any stimulus to creative thought or action” (Webster’s Dictionary). This duality—divine influence versus more earthly sources of inspiration—sums up the two main schools of thought about artistic inspiration. There are many who believe that inspiration comes from within, and others who believe that there are tangible practices and learnable behaviors that can open the doors to inspired creative work. In her book The Creative Habit author and choreographer Twyla Tharp clearly summarized these two contrasting viewpoints: It is the perennial debate, born in the Romantic era, between the beliefs that all creative acts are born of (a) some transcendent, inexplicable Dionysian act of inspiration, a kiss from God on your brow that allows you to give the world The Magic Flute, or (b) hard work. (2003, p. 7)

Spiritual or Mystical Inspiration Among the theorists that believe that inspiration is derived from a spiritual or mystical source is Julia Cameron. In her book The Artist’s Way she stated that “Artists throughout the centuries have spoken of ‘inspiration,’ confiding that God spoke to them or angels did,” and that “the central experience of creativity is mystical” (2002, p. xix). Her writing put forth the idea that all creative works are manifestations of a universal Great Creator working through artists. The artist’s job is to allow this flow of creative energy by removing obstacles or blocks in their lives that inhibit their creativity. (Cameron, 2002, p. 3) Other artists and theorists interpret the source of creativity from within as a mystical event, but not one that is attributable to the influence of a specific creator, God, or powerful being. In a collection of his lectures, essays, and letters titled The Art Spirit, the highly-regarded and influential art professor, Robert Henri, identified 18 the source of inspiration as an internal, universal element that all possess. Henri described “the art spirit” in this way: “There is a latent possibility of specific and penetrating vision in each individual” (Henri, 1923, p. 183). Henri explained this art spirit further when he metaphorically compared artistic inspiration to a song: At such times there is a song going on within us, a song to which we listen. It fills us with surprise. We marvel at it…it is the desire to express these intimate sensations, this song from within, which motivates the masters of all art. (p. 42) Henri believed that it is an artist’s nature to create and that one’s creative impulses are an essential component of their being. Henri claimed that an artist “is an artist in the beginning and is busy finding the lines and forms to express the pleasures and emotions with which nature has already charged him” (p. 78). Henri asserted that art is something a true artist must do. Successful works of art are the creations of artists driven by the powers of intense feeling and intense respect for their subjects (p. 183). Furthermore, artists are compelled to share the products of their creativity regardless of whether or not they will be well-received or if they will be well-paid for them (p. 115). If one is an artist, artmaking is something one is driven to do because it is part of individual identity. In Art and Fear, authors and artists David Bayles and Ted Orland stated, “Your desire to make art—beautiful or meaningful or emotive art—is integral to your sense of who you are” (1993, p. 12). Photographer Cay Lang mentioned the artist’s inner drive to create in her book Taking the Leap. Recalling her own artistic passion, Lang said: It didn’t matter whether I was actually making art or not, because if I wasn’t making art I was torturing myself about not making art. I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t have a choice about it. So my choice wasn’t whether or not to be an artist, 19

but whether to be an artist that worked or one that didn’t. (1998, p. xv) Contemporary artist and teacher Karen Bowers agreed. She stated that, “Painting is a practice for me that must take place, just like physical exercise. So, in a sense, my painting is internally driven” (personal communication, October 19, 2009). Inspiration comes from within the individual in other forms and for other reasons. Some artists work simply to please themselves, letting feelings and intuition guide their process. In Watercolor From the Heart artist and teacher Barbara Nechis stated, “My objective is to allow my feelings about a subject to come out naturally, then guide them into shapes and value patterns” (1993, p. 14). She added, “I have been questioned about the risks one takes in painting solely for oneself…yet I know of no artist whose work has any lasting value who has worked in any other way” (p. 24). Sometimes creative sparks come about through luck, or what Julia Cameron called synchronicity. She described this term as follows: If you ask an artist how he got where he is, he will not describe breaking in but instead will talk of a series of lucky breaks…. I call them synchronicity. It is my contention that you can count on them. (2002, p. 66) Another important source of inspiration for artists is their own previous work. Many artists revisit subjects, themes, color combinations, and compositions they have used before. These repeated ideas are embedded deep within the individual— some would say within their unconscious mind. Bayles and Orland emphasized the importance of connecting ideas from one piece to the next by “leaving some unresolved issue, to carry forward and explore in your next piece” (1993, p. 11). They wrote that, “The seed for your next artwork lies embedded in the imperfections of your current piece” (p. 31). These imperfections act to guide the artist toward matters that need to be developed or considered further. Twyla Tharp agreed. “If you find, in your 20 own work, that ideas that you didn’t have room for at a particular time nonetheless lingered and arose later, you are coming close to an ideal creative state, one where creativity becomes a self-perpetuating habit” (2003, p. 237). Sacramento sculptor and painter Taylor Gutermute called this productive culling of inspirational ideas from her previous pieces “referencing my own work” (gallery lecture, March 16, 2009). She often develops images and themes by repeating and reworking prior work with new variations.

Attitudes, Behaviors, and Practices That Inspire Regardless of whether one’s creativity comes from a spiritual source or from another source deep within the individual, many attitudes, behaviors, and practices promote creative work. These learnable behaviors help artists get their ideas onto the canvas. They prepare the artist to receive inspiring elements from within and from the surrounding world. In their book The Universal Traveler, teachers and designers Don Koberg and Jim Bagnall stated that “Creativity requires a steady, determined effort. The more we behave in ways which encourage creativity, the more likely we are to be creative. Creativity is a learnable state of behavior patterns. It is not magic” (1974, p. 13). Some of the attitudes or states of mind that artists can develop to increase their creative productivity are mindfulness, constructive discontent, fearlessness, and authenticity. The first of these, mindfulness, means to tune into what is happening here and now, and to notice the details. It is, simply put, paying attention—to the richness of the world surrounding you and to your emotions and thoughts in the moment. In her book On Becoming An Artist, psychologist and author Ellen Langer stated that, “Creativity and mindfulness are natural partners” (2005, p. 19). Julia Cameron expanded and explained this concept: 21

People frequently believe that the creative life is grounded in fantasy. The more difficult truth is that creativity is grounded in reality, in the particular, the focused, the well observed or the specifically imagined. (1992, p. 82) Bayles and Orland agreed that “making art depends on noticing things—things about yourself, your methods, your subject matter” (1993, p. 109). The world, when combined with one’s powers of observation and introspection, can be a rich source of artistic inspiration. Collage artist Hannah Klause Hunter explained the way in which her surroundings, especially nature, inspire her work. “[I am] definitely [inspired by] the natural world in all its many and various aspects. Right now I’m fascinated by leaves.

Leaves turning colors, leaves as they fall, fallen leaves and leaves holding droplets of water from the rain” (personal communication, October 22, 2009). Scratching is the term that Twyla Tharp used to describe this heightened state of noticing. When an artist is scratching, one’s surroundings and everyday experiences become potential sources of ideas. She said, “Scratching is not about control and repose. It’s about unleashing furious mindless energy and watching it bounce off everything in your path” (2003, p. 107). This state of mindfulness can be learned and practiced.

One activity that helps one develop mindfulness is called Eyes Wide Open. It was developed by Sacramento State University professor Dr. Karen Benson. Eyes Wide Open seeks to heighten an individual’s awareness of his/her immediate surroundings or thoughts by intently observing them and then writing about his/her observations. These detailed and often highly personal observations can become a powerful source of inspiration for all types of artists. Painter and collage artist Karen Bowers explained this type of inspiration: “I go about the world picking up things....ideas, 22 words, and phrases I jot down, as well as intriguing materials and souvenirs. I love putting things together and layering” (personal communication, October 19, 2009). Observations can be connected in new and meaningful ways in art through the use of metaphor. Artists can combine images and ideas in unique ways to communicate something intriguing, fresh, or original that connects with a viewer’s previous experiences. As Tharp stated, “Metaphor is the lifeblood of all art, if it is not art itself. Metaphor is our vocabulary for connecting what we’re experiencing now with what we have experienced before” (2003, p. 64). Collage artist Lisa Camp returns to a powerful personal metaphor to inspire her work. She explained: From my grandmother I learned what a garden represents: cultivation, placement, color, structure, and this has become my greatest inspiration. The garden is a potent marker of reality and time; life and death; growth and decay; perfection and distortion, simplicity and density. The garden represents an ideal. (personal communication, October 23, 2009) A second attitude that creative individuals can cultivate is constructive discontent. In The Universal Traveler, Koberg and Bagnall described this trait as being able to constructively critique situations in order to solve creative problems. This skill involves being a fault finder in a positive way, always keeping the goal of moving toward a problem’s resolution in mind (1974, p. 12). In order to be able to candidly and constructively critique artwork and ideas, one must set aside the fear of being judged by others for one’s comments. This skill must be nurtured in a safe environment to be developed. Fearlessness is another learnable trait successful artists share. Fear is one of the major blocks to the creative process, and overcoming fear is the topic of many self- help books for artists. Artist’s fears include: making mistakes, criticism, loneliness, 23 rejection, alienation, change, or even individuality (Koberg & Bagnall, 1974, p. 14). Yet challenging and facing one’s fears is a normal part of the creative life. Tharp wrote: Creativity is an act of defiance. You’re challenging the status quo. You’re questioning accepted truths and principles. You’re asking three universal questions that mock conventional wisdom: “Why do I have to obey the rules?” “Why can’t I be different?” “Why can’t I do it my way?”

These are the impulses that guide all creative people whether they admit it or not. (2003, p. 133) There is an element of the unknown in all creative acts, and artists need to let go of their fear of losing control in order for their ideas to flow. Regarding the balancing act between control and fear of the unknown, Tharp stated: In order to be habitually creative, you have to know how to prepare to be creative, but good planning alone won’t make your efforts successful: it’s only after you let go of your plans that you can breathe life into your efforts. (p. 119) Painter Barbara Nechis restated this idea of fearlessness and letting go of control as staying flexible. “Leaving the cocoon of certainty can be painful for a time, but the rewards can also be great. One becomes a better painter by staying flexible, celebrating new experiences, seeing, thinking, and painting” (1993, p. 37). Risk- taking is a part of artmaking that creative individuals must embrace. Tharp encouraged, “Venturing out of your comfort zone may be dangerous, yet do it anyway because our ability to grow is directly proportional to an ability to entertain the uncomfortable” (2003, p. 47). 24

Authenticity is also an important character trait that artists can develop. In order to produce meaningful artwork that creates a deep connection with viewers, artists first need to understand themselves—their motivations, truths, and feelings. This authenticity is witnessed in the work of master artists. Speaking of these great works, Henri stated that, “They are what they are because they are evidences from men who dared to be like themselves” (1923, p. 185). Cameron explained, “Art lies in the moment of encounter: We meet our truth and we meet ourselves: we meet ourselves and we meet our self-expression” (1992, p. 82). Being authentic is not an easy task, yet this trait can be developed by the practice of living mindfully. Langer wrote, “We just need to let ourselves be in the present, and when we do we tap into our authentic self” (2005, p. 23). The quest for one’s own truth and authenticity is an ongoing challenge for artists. However, if powerful meaning is to be embodied in artwork, one’s genuine truths must be fully explored and understood. Cay Lang explained this challenge in Taking the Leap: It’s not easy to find something fresh to say, but what is even more difficult is to know what your own truth is and to speak it regardless of what the art world or anyone else has to say about it. Achieving that kind of authenticity is a tall order, and it is a lifetime job. (1998, p. xvi)

Beyond cultivation of the attitudes and dispositions creative individuals need, artists can develop some very tangible practices to enhance their creative output. One of the most important of these is clearly identifying the problem one is seeking to solve, the goal one is trying to reach, or the direction one wants the work to take. Once an artist understands the nature of the creative challenge, the solution becomes more attainable and the pathway clearer. Tharp calls this the spine of a piece. She wrote in The Creative Habit that “The spine is the statement you make to 25 yourself outlining your intentions for your work” (2003, p. 142). If the solution to a problem comes from the problem itself, one must first understand the problem. In The Universal Traveler Bagnall and Koberg called this method of problem-solving Essence Uber Alles. With this method, “the essence or core of the idea is first extracted and clarified and then used as the ultimate decision-making screen” (1974, p. 90). Tharp agreed that a clearly defined spine can help an artist stay on track and focused. “When you lose your way, it will show you the way home” (p. 142). Another way to connect with one’s inspiration and to produce fulfilling work is to create large volumes of work. When artists set their goals high, the likelihood of producing a satisfying piece is increased for a number of reasons. First of all, there is not enough time for internal censoring. Judgement is deferred. “People are…forced to suspend critical thinking. To meet the quota, they put their internal critic on hold and let everything out. They’re no longer choking off good impulses” (Tharp, 2003, p. 191). Cameron calls this internal critic the Censor. It is the fearful, logical, left- brained inner voice that squelches creative ideas before they can make it to the page (1992, p. 13). Producing large volumes of work helps shut down this inner nay-saying voice. Put another way, Bayles and Orland said, “For most artists, making good art depends on making lots of art, and any device that carries the first brushstroke to the next blank canvas has tangible, practical value” (1993, p. 61). Painter Karen Bowers described the way in which she overcomes artist’s block: I overcome by working on old paintings in which I have no stake. I “throw the book” at a painting, work fast, don’t think, just paint. When I can dispense with a desired outcome and just paint for the process, I usually overcome the block. Since my paintings are internally driven, the internal infernal nagging about the 26

meaning of my work does have an impact in terms of blockages. That’s why, I believe, that the best way for me to overcome [blocks] is to just paint and not worry about the outcome. (personal communication, October 19, 2009) Similarly, collage artist and art therapist Hannah Klause Hunter said: The only way I’ve found to overcome it is to keep coming back to the studio and making art, even if it lacks vibrancy. It’s like priming a pump. As I work, after a period of days, weeks, or months, the ideas start to flow. (personal communication, October 22, 2009) The same principle idea of creating work in volume is present in the problem- solving method developed by Alex Osborn call brainstorming. This process asks a group of creative problem-solvers to generate multiple ideas in a very short period of time. The key to coming up with novel ideas during brainstorming is that participants defer judgement—criticism and editing come after the ideation phase (Koberg & Bagnall, 1974, p. 68). Artists must continually nurture their creative souls with new images and experiences. They must seek external sources of renewal and inspiration. Some things that artists can do to accomplish this are viewing other artists’ work, reading, traveling, gathering with other artists, and journaling.

Many artists generate their own ideas by looking at the work of other artists in art books and by visiting studios, galleries, and museums. Tharp suggested looking at the work of one’s heroes and mentors and using their paradigms as a starting point for one’s own exploration (2003, p. 102). Sacramento painter and professor Michaele LeCompte concurred. She develops ideas by, “Looking at great art whenever possible—from all periods, all styles, all media, all subject matter. Painting and other works of art are my best and most constant teacher. It never ends either” (personal communication, October 27

16, 2009). New York collage artist Lisa Camp agreed when she stated, “I look at art magazines for inspiration as well as my own work that I feel is successful. I also look at books by two of my favorite artists, Cy Twombly and Richard Diebenkorn, although not necessarily for their images but rather for the ‘spirit’ and energy that their work gives me” (personal communication, October 23, 2009). This may sound a bit like plagiarizing another’s ideas, but as Bayles and Orland explained, “Making any art piece inevitably engages the large themes and basic techniques that artists have used for centuries. Finding your own work is a process of distilling from each those traces that ring true to your own spirit” (1993, p. 103). It is especially helpful to read works by other artists that are not solely about their techniques, but instead are autobiographical and discuss the sources of their inspiration (Bayles & Orland, 1993, p. 92). Painter Barbara Nechis explained another way she uses her collection of art books for inspiration. “I like to leave books such as these open in my house and studio: one may be open to a picture whose unique color combination intrigued me, another to the work of an artist I need to know better, and so on” (1993, p. 42). Making a deliberate effort to invite new experiences and images into one’s life is what Julia Cameron called filling the well (1992, p. 20). One thing she suggested is scheduling an artist’s date each week to accomplish this. This date is taken alone and may be anything one’s inner artist would enjoy. A walk, a gallery or museum trip, time alone in nature, or a delicious meal are just some of the activities she suggested. An artist’s date can be playful, serious, or reflective. It is an activity that renews and replenishes one’s creative soul (1992, p. 19). Sometimes filling the well includes travel. Tharp suggested that a literal change of scenery is one good way to get out of a creative rut (1992, p. 197). Artist and teacher 28

Katherine Lemke Waste agreed that travel is one way artists can add novel stimuli to their lives and recharge their creative spirit. When artists travel and keep a sketch journal, they are continually scanning for new ideas (The Artful Mind workshop, March 7, 2009). Most of the practices that promote artistic work are individual, however working with other artists can be very productive and positive. Many authors agreed that it is important for artists to connect with each other for inspiration and support. Since the practice of making art is full of fears and blocks to overcome, it is essential that artists create safe and supportive environments for themselves. Bayles and Orland said, “What we really gain from the artmaking of others is courage-by-association. Depth of contact grows as fears are shared—and thereby disarmed—and this comes from embracing art as a process, and artists as kindred spirits” (1993, p. 90). Twyla Tharp agreed, and encouraged artists to “build their own validation squad.” This hand-picked group of friends gives her useful feedback on her works in progress. She selected them for their talent, judgement, brutal honesty, and most importantly, because they are good friends who have her best interests at heart (2003, p. 229). Similarly, Cameron stated: Art requires a safe hatchery. Ideally, artists find this first in their family, then in the school, and finally in a community of friends and supporters. This ideal is seldom

a reality. As artists, we must learn to create our own safe environments. (1992, p. 70) In The Artist’s Way she advised artists to form groups of fellow artists or Sacred Circles to enhance their feelings of safety and trust and to promote creative growth (1992, p. 217). A more contemporary way that artists can create communities to support and inspire each other is online through the internet. In her book Taking Flight, mixed media 29 artist and author Kelly Rae Roberts, described this opportunity for creative interaction. “There are all sorts of artful blogs, weekly online creative challenges, countless mixed media groups, and creative swaps occurring between like-minded people who live all over the country, even the world.” She continued, “It’s a world of endless interaction, where people (strangers to one another, but creative companions in spirit) encourage one another along the creative path” (2008, p. 46). The last, and very important, practice many artists use to record their inspirations is journaling. A journal serves to record ideas as well as to empty one’s mind of distractions. As a cornerstone activity of her process for creative recovery, Julia

Cameron emphasized the use of a journal. She called this daily practice of writing the morning pages. When asked why she insisted that recovering creatives write their morning pages, she said: Morning pages do get us to the other side: the other side of our fear, of our negativity, of our moods. Above all, they get us beyond our Censor. Beyond the reach of the Censor’s babble we find our own quiet center, the place where we hear the still, small voice that is at once our creator’s and our own. (2003, p. 104) Another way artists use journals is explained in artist Claudine Hellmuth’s book Collage Discovery Workshop. Artists may write about their current work, trouble they are having with a piece, impressions of finished pieces, techniques, inspiring composition and color ideas, or the work of other artists they admire. She said: Writing about all these things will help you to become closer to your artwork and will aid you in paying more attention to what you do! Focus is the key. Through writing and observations, you will grow as an artist. (2003, p. 104)

Summary Where do artists find inspiration? The ideas of the authors, artists, and theorists 30 on this subject create a continuum of viewpoints ranging from the highly spiritual and internal to the very practical and tangible. For some artists, creativity may come from a higher power or God, from a mystical source, or from a deep passion and powerful drive for self-expression. Other artists are inspired by the world around them or their own previous work. Some strive to cultivate a keen awareness and specific behaviors that will lead to the production of satisfying art. Others find inspiration in specific practical activities, for example: viewing and reading about art, traveling, journaling, working with other artists, and the processes and materials of artistic production itself. This vast array of sources of inspiration forms a palette of options for artists from which they can develop their own creative process and working style. Inspiration is part of the common language of all art forms—from poetry to painting, and from drama to dance. Understanding the sources of inspiration needs to be seen as an integral part of a complete education in the arts. Technique must be taught, but aesthetic thinking and experiences need to be included, too. A well-rounded education in the arts will help develop the creative thinkers and problem solvers needed for the future. Education in the arts can help individuals find their muse to lead more satisfying lives. Not only will their lives be richer, but their creative contributions will enhance society as a whole.

In Chapter 3 the author shares her personal exploration relating to artistic inspiration as she creates collage compositions and critiques them. Through a deeper understanding of her own creative process she hopes to create more meaningful learning experiences for students of the arts. 31

Chapter 3 THE PROJECT This Project is an Alternative Culminating Experience for a Master of Arts in Education: Curriculum and Instruction with an Emphasis on Arts in Education. It follows Alternative Culminating Experience Pathway I: Artist as Educator. This researcher’s project, which entailed creating collage artwork and recording her artistic inspiration during the process in journal form, was conducted using a narrative inquiry approach. Narrative inquiry tells the story of an author’s experience. Narrative research differs from more traditional quantitative methods of examining and recording an experience because it includes the impressions, feelings, and other qualitative observations of the researcher. It is immediate, personal, and human. This method reflects the artistic process itself. Since it is holistic in approach, it is an appropriate choice for a project examining the artistic process—one that itself relies on right- brain thinking, metaphor, and synthesis of the whole experience, not merely on an examination of factual details. Educational researchers Connelly and Clandinin stated, “Perhaps because it focuses on human experience, perhaps because it is a fundamental structure of human experience, and perhaps because it has a holistic quality, narrative has an important place in other disciplines” (1990, p. 2). Narrative inquiry is an appropriate approach for studying human experience in a broad range of social science fields, including art and education. (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990, p. 2). This chapter consists primarily of the researcher’s observations of work in progress and related journal entries. She describes influences from her family history and education, and the origins of this project. She examines her process of art production, focusing on inspirational influences and problems encountered. To 32 conclude the chapter, she shares her reflections on completed artwork. This chapter is written from the author’s perspective, so the first person was chosen as the appropriate voice.

Family and Educational Influences As stated in Chapter 2, “Your desire to make art—beautiful or meaningful or emotive art—is integral to your sense of who you are” (Bayles & Orland, 1993, p. 12). In other words, you are born with it, and you are stuck with it. In my family we call it the congenital defect—that crazy irrepressible desire to make art. As an accomplished photographer and cartoonist, my grandfather Clark had it. He passed it on to his youngest son, my father Hamilton. My father loved art and in college was serious enough about pursuing art as a career to attend the Museum Art School in Portland, Oregon. There he learned to paint by copying masterworks (as was the style of art instruction at the time) and also developed his own unique style and color sense. He was equally passionate and talented at working with radio circuits and receivers and eventually chose to make a living in this relatively new field. From his interest in radios he developed a lifelong career as an electrical engineer working for GTE Sylvania. When I was six, my father was assigned by this company to work overseas, giving our family the opportunity to travel around the world. We lived in

Italy, England, and the Philippines. Each time we moved, we took advantage of every chance to visit the world’s most famous museums and architectural sites from The Louvre to the Taj Mahal. I am sure this early exposure to art had a lasting influence on me. My father was always working on something creative outside of his job, but it wasn’t until retirement that he finally returned to painting. He enrolled in the local community college and dove into his art projects with all his heart. He pulled out 33

Figure 1: “Phoenix” oil on canvas by Hamilton Clark, 1991

sketches from his art school days and created finished paintings from them. Using a plaster model created in the 1940’s, he cast a sculpture in bronze at a Bay Area foundry. He was also inspired to produce paintings that related to his career in electronics or to make personal statements about current events such as the Tiananmen Square Protests in 1989 or the Oakland Firestorm in 1991 (see Figure 1).

My father taught me to see, to draw, and to paint. My brother and I were allowed to use my father’s oil paints when we were very young. I remember painting in the back yard together working on a pair of portraits of pirates when I was about nine years old. My father corrected my painting because the pirate was standing on the horizon line instead of in front of it. This was just one of his mini lessons that I recall. From my mother I learned a different set of skills. She has an eye for fashion and color, and she taught me to sew. During the 1960’s and 1970’s this was not 34 unusual, but from this I learned great patience and attention to detail. Ripping out a slightly imperfect seam and redoing it was always a reasonable option to my mother. I also learned to design my own clothing and to embellish it with embroidery so that I could have a unique garment. As a child I always loved to color and to make things. I never wavered when asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was always the same—an artist or a teacher. These interests continued throughout my years in school. When I was young I studied for three years at St. Francis College for Girls in Letchworth, England. I enjoyed school in England, because on Fridays we had art class, needlework, and nature study listening to the BBC on the radio. At St. Francis most of our work in other subjects was illustrated in our composition books in colored pencil. We used fountain pens and wrote in the italic hand. In 5th grade I received an award for art at the end of the year. My teacher, Mrs. Green, gave me a book about painting animals. I wasn’t very good at reading, but art made me happy and gave me confidence. These early positive experiences solidified my love of art. In junior high I became very involved with all kinds of crafts—paper maché, painting animals on rocks, and lots of sewing—but I never took art in school. My parents insisted that I take French. In high school I was finally allowed to choose an elective, so I took beginning crafts with Mr. White. Mr. White taught ceramics, copper enameling, leather tooling, lost wax casting, macramé, and much more. He was a fun-loving teacher, and I enjoyed his class. I had never had a teacher who leapt from table to table at the end of class chanting, “Let’s go, let’s go! Let’s get it, let’s hit it! A clean room is a happy room!” The following year I had crafts again, this time with Jeannie Gough, 35 and learned a different set of skills. She had an extensive knowledge of fiber arts, and I learned embroidery, quilting, and silk screen printing on fabric. I was able to use my sewing skills to create unique hand printed garments. As much as I enjoyed these classes, there was no discussion of where artists and crafts people find their inspiration. All the while I was plugging away with my other classes in high school. I was a straight A honor student on track to go to a good college. Because of my good grades, I was eligible to become a member of the California Honor Society, but in the end was not allowed to join because my elective courses were in art and crafts, not in foreign language or science. It became very clear that good grades in the arts were not valued by the system. By choosing to take art over more traditional, academic subjects, I was opting out of many opportunities for college admission. I was not eligible to attend the University of California, for example. This was an eye-opener about how the world felt about the congenital defect. Finally, as a high school junior, I was able to take art. I had attended summer school for two years so that I could graduate early—being fairly disenchanted with high school—so I had room in my class schedule for an art class. It was in this class that I met my first mentor teacher, Bonnie Stott. Ms. Stott was serious about our art class, and we worked on some interesting projects. I did very well in Ms. Stott’s class. She allowed me to work long hours in the art room, pulling prints on extended silk screen runs. She would call my other teachers and get them to excuse me from psychology, English, or P.E. so that I could finish a printing project. When I was a senior, she organized a field trip to the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco. I remember really seeing for the first time. As I looked out the window of the bus, I noticed typography, signs, color, and pattern as if it was all new. It was completely 36 inspiring—a rush of sorts—and I was soaking it all up. Perhaps it was because I was a teen. Perhaps. Nevertheless, I credit Ms. Stott with bringing it all to life for me. The idea of searching for and gathering ideas had hatched. I began viewing the world as a visual resource, and once this way of thinking had begun, it could not be be switched off. I graduated a semester early but was still able to return to high school to receive two senior awards; one for crafts and the other for art. I also received a scholarship from the Rotary Club. This validation of my skills and interests was very important for me, as I did not have much self-confidence at the time. During my spring semester, out of high school, I took printmaking at De Anza College, our local community college. The main thing I gained from this experience was a new understanding: that creativity is a learnable process, not an inherited or innate trait. The required text for the class was The Universal Traveler, which explains a multi-step creative problem solving system for all types of creative individuals (Koberg & Bagnall, 1974). This book became my creative Bible and I have returned to it over and over again. The lessons in it on fear and creativity, and also on the balance between hard work and inspiration in the creative process, have stayed with me for a lifetime.

In the fall of 1974, I started college at California State University, Chico (CSUC) to study art and, perhaps to get a credential to teach art. During my time there I honed my skills as a technician in watercolor and, especially, in drawing. Through the entire process of earning my degree, I do not recall even one discussion of inspiration as an aspect of art education. There was no analysis of how artists generate their ideas. We rarely had to come up with any ideas ourselves; we just followed directions, completed assigned projects, or simply drew what we saw in front of us. Projects lacked a 37 connection to the individual. There was no mention of recognizing and developing your personal style, your muse, your sources, your passion. The closest I came to understanding inspiration was by observing a professor I highly respected, Ken Morrow. Ken was a driven artist and teacher, and a great role model. He was full of energy, always had time for his students, and worked feverishly on his own drawing, painting, and sculpture. He was absolutely driven, as if by a motor, to create. He did not say anything to me about his inspiration, but he showed me by example what the attitude, mind, and life of an artist entailed. He also exemplified what good teaching was all about. Regarding teachers, Bayles and Orland stated in Art and Fear that: The greatest gift [teachers] have to offer [their] students is the example of [their own] life as a working artist.…What good teachers offer their students is something akin to the vulnerability found in a personal relationship—a kind of artistic and intellectual intimacy that lets others see how they reached a specific point, not simply that they did reach it. It is that willingness to lay open the line that runs between their life and their art that gives meaning to technique, and empowerment to artistic goals that for the student may still lie many years distant. (p.84)

Another teacher I had at CSUC was Ruben Heredia. He taught me how to really draw—how to hold a pencil properly, sharpen a pencil, use a variety of pencil leads of varying degrees of hardness, and how to correctly shade without destroying the surface of the paper. He had mastered graphite and colored pencil work and was passionate about this medium. He worked on the largest and most beautiful drawings I had seen. He used pencil for finished work, not just as a sketching or planning tool. From him I gained great respect for the medium of drawing. 38

I stuck to my degree program, checking off required courses. With only a year to go, I decided to take a semester off to travel. I went to Europe. My parents were once again living abroad in Germany, and it was a great opportunity for me since I had a home base on the continent. On this trip I viewed the great artwork of the Western World for a second time in my life, but with schooled eyes. On this trip I became very interested in illustration, specifically turn of the century fantasy illustration by artists such as Arthur Rackham, Edmund Dulac, Charles Robinson, Kay Nielsen, and Jesse King. I think I was drawn to it because I could see myself doing it. The work matched my skills. By the time I returned to CSUC to finish up my bachelor's degree in art, I was seriously considering becoming an illustrator. Another event greatly affected my career choice. By the time I returned to California in January of 1979, Proposition 13, the People’s Initiative to Limit Property Taxation, had passed. As a renter, not a property owner, the changes in the state’s property tax laws did not directly concern me, but the somewhat immediate effect it had on my life was that teaching jobs in the arts evaporated because of the decrease in state funding for schools. My back-up plan to become a high school art teacher was no longer a realistic option. This made becoming an illustrator even more appealing.

During my last year as an undergraduate, I decided to find a job working in a printing company to better understand printing production for illustration. The following summer, after my graduation, I had a big awakening with regards to my career and my understanding of what being an artist meant. School was out and I had my degree. I sat on my sunny deck in the beautiful mountains above Chico, with all the time in the world to work on art, wondering what to paint. I had no idea where to begin. I didn’t know where to start working without an assignment. I had 39 no inspiration whatsoever. I knew how to draw “things,” but making pretty pictures of the landscape, figures, flowers, or still life seemed trite. At that time I thought I had to have something weighty and deep to say in order to be a real artist, or that I had to have some angst to express, or an edgy theme in my work. I didn’t have anything to express that seemed important enough to be Art. Bayles and Orland refer to the fact that many students do not continue to make art after completing college in Art and Fear: For art students, losing the destination for the work goes by another name: Graduation.…Not many people continue making art when—abruptly—their work is no longer seen, no longer exhibited, no longer commented upon, no longer encouraged. Could you? (p. 11-12) To complicate matters, I had no idea how artists actually made a living. At CSUC, in addition to omitting an understanding of artistic inspiration, the Art Department hadn’t taught the practical realities of creating a marketable body of work, framing and presentation, self-promotion, or gallery representation. Of course, after spending my undergraduate years preparing to be an artist, this realization was terrifying. I knew how to be a student, so I went back to school the following fall to study illustration. This was a career with assignments. I needed to make a living and had great drawing skills, so becoming an illustrator seemed to be a good vocational match. Back in class I was happy and thriving. I took courses in illustration and printing; and, since I was officially registered as working on a second bachelor’s degree in Information and Communication Studies, I also took classes in graphic design. As it turned out, this is the department in which I belonged. When I started taking design classes, I felt as if I were home. Using my artistic skills, combined with 40 the precision of typography and printing, suited me perfectly. I was very focused in my classes and excelled. My fellow students were social beings interested in communication. This was a very different environment than the art department in which I had felt socially isolated. The fact that the college friends I keep in touch with today are all from my post graduate years in the design department speaks volumes about which department I belonged in. One of the courses that changed my way of thinking forever was Creative Problem Solving. It was about innovative thinking and a method of opening up the doors of the mind to many possible solutions. This class taught that there is always more than one right answer. We tackled problems that were real, i.e., what to do with the rice straw in the fields outside of Chico instead of burning it and creating serious air pollution. We also were assigned problems solely to promote creative thought, i.e., how to move something “the farthest with the least.” This problem was completely open-ended. The most successful group built a tiny platform out of glued spaghetti, about 2" square, with just a single piece of spaghetti placed as a fulcrum underneath it. They balanced a bowling ball on top of it. Eventually gravity took over, it tipped, and the bowling ball moved the farthest. This class really reinforced the ideas I had encountered five years earlier in the book The Universal Traveler. This way of thinking—that the possibilities are endless and that there are very few rules when it comes to thinking creatively—have affected me deeply. Today they influence my creative life and also my style as a teacher. It is the type of thinking that I most highly value, and I try to build in opportunities for creative, open-ended thinking as often as possible in my classroom. In typography and publication design classes I had another influential teacher, George Turnbull. George taught that the solution to the problem comes from the 41 problem. He believed that by studying and exploring a situation thoroughly, one could come up with the most appropriate design. His wife, Rae Turnbull, was my calligraphy teacher. Together they lived a life that I admired. They were both doing work that they loved, and their life was filled with aesthetic enjoyment. Their beliefs and lifestyle were seamlessly integrated. During my time in Chico they designed and built a custom home in the country outside of town. Every detail was designed. The woodwork had George’s designs carved into it; the windows had designs etched into the glass to coordinate with the woodwork; and a personally meaningful quote painted above their entryway used Rae’s beautiful calligraphy. It was a home filled with art and lovely handmade treasures. Their way of life inspired me. I continued as a part time student in the design department until I had taken just about every course offered. I never did finish a second bachelor's degree in illustration as planned, but I did finish with a polished graphic design portfolio and marketable job skills. My drawing ability, design skills, and practical knowledge of the printing industry made it easy to find work in design studios. My career as a graphic designer lasted until 1998. From 1987 to 1990 I took time off from work to raise my family. I lived in Pennsylvania during this time. As an outlet for my creative and social energy, I became very involved in the art of quilting. I was totally immersed and inspired by the beautiful quilts around me, both at shows and in books. I especially enjoyed combining colors and fabrics and designing my own quilts. I stitched a commissioned wall hanging for a designer friend in California, who was designing a restaurant interior. I won a local competition for an original, Amish-inspired, crib quilt. This interest in quilting has influenced my current collage work. Sadly, a divorce brought me back to California. As a single mom of two very 42 small daughters, I needed a steady income, so I went back to work as a graphic designer. Fortunately, I still had lots of connections in California from my time doing freelance work in Chico, San Francisco, and Sacramento. But graphic design was changing. Like most occupations in our world during the 1990’s, it was becoming computerized. To me this changed the field for the worse. Graphic design changed from being a career that emphasized creative ideas and hand skills to one that valued speedy solutions. Client perceptions of what designers did changed also. I felt as if clients expected me to be able to push a button and produce a brochure. Indeed, some clients, as a result of desktop publishing programs, decided they could do just that themselves. This devalued my training in graphic design and typography. The new computerized studio environment did not suit me. Instead of working with art materials and people, I found myself working at a monitor all day, sitting in a dimly lit room without natural light, drawing with a mouse, with a phone balanced on my shoulder. I didn’t have much opportunity to use the artistic skills that I really loved. I dreaded going to work. It was time to leave the career that I had loved. Through months of career counseling, I rediscovered my interest in teaching. During aptitude tests and many sessions with the counselor, it became clear that the classroom was where I needed to be. As a parent volunteer at my daughters’ elementary school, I had spent many hours in the classroom. The energy of the kids and the active work of a teacher really appealed to me. I also had a deep feeling that my new career needed to have meaning in the real world. I needed to do something every day that might make a positive difference. For me, design had become superficial paper decoration. I also knew that I needed to make time to create my own artwork. After nearly twenty years in design my feelings about what my artwork should be had changed. Some of the fear of not creating 43 meaningful work had dissipated. I decided work that was pretty was valid and creating beauty was meaningful. Since I wanted to make art for personal reasons and recreation, not for the art market, I could do whatever artwork made me happy. At this time I was also inspired by my father to make a change. After watching him wait to re-engage in his art until after he retired, I decided that I didn’t want to wait that long myself. I saw his frustration with his work increase as his eyesight failed. For his 80th birthday I took him on a picnic to do some landscape painting together in the mountains near his home. His pastel drawings of the sunny day were dark and gloomy. A year later, after he had his first cataract surgery, he was amazed at how much color he had not been able to see. This was a turning point for me. I needed to fit artmaking into my life immediately, before it was too late. Moving into a career in teaching would give me summers off to work on my own artwork. In 1997 I enrolled in a teacher credential program and earned my credential by attending classes at night. The following year I secured the perfect teaching job. I was hired to teach third grade at Leonardo da Vinci K-8 School in Sacramento. Leonardo da Vinci is a school with an alternative curriculum emphasizing learning through the arts and sciences by integrating them with the core curriculum. Not only do I enjoy working with young children, I am able to plan and implement art lessons to support learning at a school where the community values the arts as part of the education of the whole child.

Origins of This Project With my new career launched, I began to think seriously about creating art and taking art classes in my time off from teaching. A friend recommended that I try the School of Light and Color in Fair Oaks. The teacher there, Susan Sarback, taught 44 color theory and landscape painting based on the work of the Impressionists. During my summers off, I attended landscape workshops in Fair Oaks, Carmel, and Marin County, and produced some very satisfying work. It was both emotionally gratifying and a great way for me to relax. In addition to the actual act of painting, I enjoyed being outdoors after being inside a design studio for so many years. Then in 2004 I took a collage class at Sacramento City College from Professor Michaele LeCompte. Perhaps because the pressure to perform was diminished because I was not working toward a degree, or perhaps just because I was older, I was able to fearlessly try new techniques and explore a new medium. LeCompte was also an inspiring teacher. She had a calm and supportive teaching style. She was able to encourage students at all levels from novice to accomplished painters. She intuitively sensed the appropriate level of feedback for each student that would push them to the next creative level without creating fear and blocks. During her class I found myself making mental notes about her teaching skills as often as I did about collage techniques. I also attended watercolor workshops with another Sacramento artist, Kathrine Lemke Waste. Again, I found a gifted artist who was also a gifted teacher. Lemke Waste’s workshops were well-planned, informative about technique, included art history, and her projects were interesting and challenging. She also was able to positively influence and encourage students of all ability levels. She has dedicated students who return to her classes over and over again to expand their skills. These classes were great experiences, but I still was left feeling that something was missing in my work—something personal. During the course of my formal art education and subsequent career as a designer, I had become a good technician with a strong work ethic, but where was the passion? Where was the meaning, and what did 45

I have to say? When viewed together, my paintings did not hold together as a body of work, as I had dabbled in many different mediums and styles during my classes. This was partially a result of the lack of concentrated blocks of time available to produce my own art, but it was also because I hadn’t figured out what the source of my inspiration was. There was no soul holding it all together. My unfulfilled childhood dream to become a fine artist still lingered. I had the nagging feeling that the art I was producing was not meaningful on any level (other than decorative) to anyone, including me. A good friend and I were discussing this issue and she told me that one of her college professors had said, “If your work doesn’t make you feel something, nobody else will either” (personal journal entry, April 23, 2009). In order to create meaningful work, I needed to understand and connect with the sources of my own artistic passion. I needed to create an opportunity to define and explore themes more deeply and create a substantial body of work. The opportunity presented itself in the spring of 2008 when I attended the Arts Resource Fair at California State University, Sacramento. One of the workshops, presented by Dr. Lorie Hammond, was about a trip to Mexico that students and professors from Cohort IV had taken during the summer of 2007. On this trip they spent time in a small village teaching through the arts and immersing themselves in the culture of the community. It looked like a wonderful experience, and I wanted to be a part of it. I long to travel, but the only way I will be able to go overseas for extended periods of time is if I work while I am there. At the Arts Resource Fair I was introduced to one of the cohort members, Merrill, who was just about to finish the program. She was planning to teach abroad in Syria at an international school in the fall. I had never heard of international schools, and found the idea intriguing. She 46 described the process of attending stateside job fairs and the types of opportunities that were available. It all sounded great. I went home and did some research online about the schools. I discovered that the most desirable schools in the most sought after countries preferred candidates with a master’s degree. All the pieces were coming together: the opportunity to delve into the motivation behind my art, the possibility of travel abroad with the cohort, and a masters degree that might take me one step closer to a long-held dream of living abroad. The following week I met with Dr. Hammond to talk over the possibilities. It was important to me that the program would give me the chance to explore that which was very personal and specific to my art. (I certainly did not want any more technique classes.) The elective options would let me develop my own work independently, and working on my thesis via Pathway I: Artist as Educator, would make it possible for my project to be personally significant and relevant to my teaching career. Shortly thereafter, I began the process of enrolling in graduate school.

Creating Collage Studies for a Painting Prior to enrolling in the graduate program, I had unexpectedly stumbled upon a way of working that I wanted to develop, using small collages as preliminary studies for larger watercolor paintings. During my first collage class at Sacramento City College with Professor LeCompte, I created a group of abstract, square collages that fit together into a larger composition like blocks in a quilt. I was inspired by the book The Quilts of Gee’s Bend (2002), and the collages reminded me of some of the patchwork designs. A few of the squares did not work in the overall, paper quilt composition, but they held my interest as stand-alone pieces, so I saved them. One of these unused 6" x 6" squares remained in my pile of work and continued to intrigue 47 me. I named it “Japanese Winter” and hung on to it (see Figure 2). I loved the composition and the cold eerie mood of the piece, returning to think about it over and over again.

Figure 2: “Japanese Winter” collage on mat board, 6" x 6"

Two years later in the winter of 2006, I picked it up again, and this time I was inspired to turn it into a large painting. When it was enlarged I decided it needed a new element as a focal point. I was fascinated by birds, crows in particular, so I decided to add a crow on a bare branch to the piece. I went on a hunt in my neighborhood, looking for the perfect branch as a perch for my wintery crow. I found one in the gutter, took it home, shot a digital photo of it, and then enlarged it on a copier to fit the existing format. Using large tracing paper, I assembled the elements into a composition that pleased me, and using Saral transfer paper, I transferred the images onto a large sheet of watercolor paper. It took me about two months of 48 evenings after work to complete the painting (see Figure 3). I was totally satisfied with this piece from start to finish and am not tired of looking at the framed painting yet. I love the cold and distant mood it creates, enjoy the imagery, and love the feeling I get when recalling the inspiration that flowed while working on it. This is how my current way of working, using collage studies to begin larger works, began.

Figure 3: “Waiting for Spring” Watercolor, 23" x 23"

I liked working this way so I used it again three times. As I worked, I noticed that I loved creating visual tension by using collage elements of varying sizes. Certain imagery began to be repeated—citrus fruit, old National Geographic Magazine maps, crows, yellow, shades of blue, and polka dots turned up over and over again. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was creating a personal symbol set. The three watercolor paintings that grew from these small collages were titled, She’s Flown, Sacto Summer, and Fiji Dream. They all began as 6" x 6" collages. 49

In my current work for this project I chose to work in collage again. I decided to create a series of ten small collages as thumbnail sketches. Thumbnail sketches, or thumbnails, are one step in the process of graphic design. They enable the designer to precisely visualize an idea at a small size. “Thumbnails allow designers to explore alternative concepts, and compare them.…Small, fast, and approximate, thumbnails do not allow detail to get in the way of solid ‘big ideas’” (Berryman, 1979, p. 32). My collages were created as thumbnails for large watercolor paintings. Using my favorite imagery and colors in many new combinations, I created a range of compositions from which to select a favorite piece to enlarge. Making many collages also took the preciousness of each piece down a notch and reduced the pressure of making each piece work as a finished artwork. This was a new way of working for me. I enjoy the entire process of collage from gathering to gluing. When I am actively working in this medium, my awareness of the world around me heightens. Every scrap of paper, photo, or tidbit of trash that I come across seems to have potential. To use Twyla Tharp’s term, I am scratching all the time (2003, p. 107). This process of gathering is intuitive, based on what pleases me in terms of color, texture, or imagery. I have gathered so much ephemera during the last few years that

I have had to create a file system to organize it all. Part of my studio practice has become sorting and storing collage items by color, texture, or theme for easy retrieval later. Supports for collage can be thick or thin, ranging from wooden boards to paper. For this project I chose small masonite panels, because they are rigid and stable. Previously I have worked on mat board scraps, although they are thick, they buckle a bit when collage pieces are adhered to them and the glue dries. I chose to work 50 with a square format for no other reason than it is comfortable and pleasing to me. I also wanted to limit the format to one consistent shape and size, so that this was not a decision that needed to made again with each new piece. Using a consistent format made comparison of finished work easier, too. This self-imposed boundary gave me one less thing to think about and one more way in which the entire body of work would be similar, helping it appear unified. Using the correct adhesive to glue collage elements down was a concern. I was afraid the masonite surface would be too slick to hold things well. I did a little research by e-mail and contacted two collage artists, Michael Azgour and Francisco Castro, whose work I had seen at 20th Street Gallery in Sacramento. Their replies were very helpful. Azgour wrote: Acrylic mediums work the best as adhesive. I usually use matte medium. It serves as a primer, a glue, and a sealer. So, you can adhere the paper to the board with matte medium, pressing it out with a burnisher towards the edges. Excess medium can be spread back on top of the paper to seal it, and the rest can be collected and saved for the next piece. Afterward, lightly wipe the surface dry with paper towels to avoid a plastic-like film on top of the work. This works better than glue, because with glue you have to be careful not to have any

visible...matte medium is clear and won’t be unsightly on top. (personal communication, June 17, 2009) I decided to follow his advice and used matte medium as an adhesive for my work. To begin working, I purchased a large sheet of quarter-inch thick masonite and hired a carpenter to cut it into 6" x 6" squares. Then I sanded the small square boards smooth and painted them with two coats of white acrylic gesso to seal the masonite surface. I also sprayed the backs with clear acrylic paint to seal the edges and prevent 51 the rough side of the masonite from shedding dust bits onto the working side. After the gesso dried, I sanded it smooth. Now the supports were ready to use. To begin each piece, I sifted through my files pulling out appealing images and colored papers. These items seemed to fall into distinct categories—favorite colors, (dark blue, aqua, golden yellow, primary red), favorite textures, polka dots, tropical birds, old maps, sunflowers, clocks, bird’s eggs, stars, vases, water, and texts from birding field guides. One idea from my reading that was very useful during this selection process was identifying and referring to the spine of my work. (Tharp, 2003, p.142) In April, I wrote in my journal, “If a critic came to a show of mine, what would I want their review to say? Intriguing and beautiful, and contains an element of mystery. Personal, yet taps into the universal. Honest” (personal journal entry, April 25, 2009). This note to myself became the spine of my project. I wrote it on a note card and placed in clear view of my studio table to refer to while I worked. Stating it clearly helped me to edit out imagery that did not support my overall concept. From the small stacks of paper thematically arranged on my studio table, I pulled, mixed, and trimmed until I found a pleasing collage composition. In order to glue things down to the masonite in the correct sequence I devised a system for keeping the elements in order. After I was satisfied with the composition, I traced the outline of the elements using parchment tracing paper. I numbered the design elements on the tracing in the order they would have to be adhered, from first to last. Then, using the numbered tracing as a guide placed over the gessoed masonite panel, I glued the collage papers down. Using the tracing to align the collage elements when gluing also preserved the spacial relationships that I had originally composed. After all the elements were adhered to the support, I adjusted the value relationships using 52 translucent glazes of acrylic paint or colored pencil. Finished artwork was sealed with clear acrylic spray.

Ten Collage Studies Each collage has its own story. In order to facilitate continuity of thought and comparison, I will examine each using a consistent protocol. First, I will consider the imagery, symbols, color choices, overall composition, and specific technical problems encountered. Then, I will discuss my feelings during and after production of each piece using appropriate journal entries and my recollections, specifically noting inspirations and creative blocks. Finally, I will reflect upon the success of each piece, its relationship to the previously defined spine or criteria for evaluating my work, and its potential to be scaled up into a large watercolor painting.

The first collage in my series, created on June 29th, 2009, is called “Summer Tanager” (see Figure 4). For this piece I selected a large red bird, the tanager, as the

Figure 4: “Summer Tanager” collage on masonite, 6" x 6" 53 main subject. Japanese text from a newspaper, polka dotted fabric from a magazine, a solid yellow swathe of paper, and a large number 8 printed on soft white paper complete the composition. The small star in the lower right corner added a small point of interest to balance the large figure of the bird. The color palette is bright and primary, and the composition is active with the angled edge of the yellow paper and the cropped image of the bird. One technical problem I had with this piece is that the original sheet of yellow paper from a magazine allowed the dark image on the back of it to show through when the matte medium adhesive soaked into the paper. It had to be painted over with acrylic paint to achieve a solid bright yellow. Beginning work on this piece was the biggest hurdle I encountered. I was eager to begin my project, but also was intimidated by the thought of the scope of the art for my thesis. Self-imposed deadlines and goals became a source of fear and a reason to procrastinate. In my journal I quoted Twyla Tharp from her book The Creative Habit. “You can’t imagine the work, you can only generate ideas when you put pencil to paper, brush to canvas—when you actually do something physical” (2003, p. 99). In other words you can prepare and plan in your mind, but at some point you need to jump in and do the work of creating art. I was quite content with this piece when it was completed. I like the cocked angle of the bird’s head. Is he contemplating pecking at the star? I used many of my favorite colors and images, so creating this piece was within my comfort zone. I like the bold graphic quality of this piece. Enlarged to a 22 inch square watercolor, I believed that the image would be engaging and dynamic. Concerns include the actual content of the text in Japanese and if it is appropriate for the piece. If this collage is used as a sketch for a larger painting, the text will have to be translated and possibly reconsidered. 54

Figure 5: “Costa Rican Moon” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

The second collage in the series is called “Costa Rican Moon” and was created on July 7th, 2009 (see Figure 5). The imagery and color reminded me of my springtime trip to Costa Rica to visit my daughter. The map of Costa Rica, the beautiful water, the full moon, and the brilliantly colored bird brought back the good feelings of this trip. Again, I used many of my favorite images relating to travel and nature. The map contains the names of places I visited; Limón, San José, Las Cañas, Punta Uva, and Guanacaste. The image of the full moon has been in my collage pile for months and has finally been applied to a piece of artwork. The ceramic pot was a new image. It felt handmade and primitive. The color is lively, and, again, I used a primary palette that shifts toward the warmer shades of red, yellow, and blue. During the creation of this piece I reminded myself in my journal to return to the spine of the project. It is “what the work is built on—concept—it is really only to guide the artist, not necessarily the audience. Recall original intentions and clarify 55 goals” (Tharp, 2003, p. 148). Then I included notes that defined the spine: “intriguing, beautiful, element of mystery, personal, taps universal,” with a reminder to use these to prioritize imagery (personal journal entry, July 3, 2009). Referring to this theme helped me work and stay on track. During this time I also noted: I finished collage no. 2 last night. A good day! Finishing one piece and feeling satisfied with it is inspiration for the next one. I spent much time in the last week and a half sorting and categorizing and tossing collage materials. I believe it paid off. I was able to focus on what I wanted to include and having my collage favorites piled by theme really helped. The next collage will have the same “spine” (intrigue and beauty) but will use one of the sunflower images in my pile. I have been collecting sunflower pix for two years. It is time to use one. What will add the intrigue? A night sky? (personal journal entry, July 8, 2009) I feel that this piece, Costa Rican Moon, was successful in that it clearly related to my goals. It creates a happy mood and certainly has a personally meaningful element. It has the potential to make a pleasing large painting, as it has a number of interesting focal points and a good level of complexity. 56

Figure 6: “Sunny Side” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

Collage number three, “Sunny Side”, was my first attempt at using the sunflower image (see Figure 6). I was working with my favorite colors, yellow and turquoise, and again using imagery in my kit of favorites: the map, the bird’s egg, foreign text, and dressmakers tissue in the background. The sunflower is placed as a rising sun at the bottom of the piece and the text, map, etc. are rays extending from it. The raven’s egg acts as another sun image. To me, the egg symbolizes beginnings and potential, and the sunflower image, full of brilliance, light, and seeds is another symbol of beginnings. The map of Central America, the text in French, and the tropical foliage all refer to my dreams of travel and painting. The text is from a little book on the art of Gauguin and has particular significance to me because it belonged to my father. He used it during his time in art school in the 1940’s. One difficulty I had with this piece was that the ink on the image of the sunflower smeared when the matte medium adhesive was applied to it. The sunflower 57 photo was one that I had taken myself and printed out on my inkjet printer. Since inkjet printers use water-based ink and the matte medium was also water-based, it bled. I had to redo the sunflower for this composition a couple of times. Eventually I found that this problem could be avoided by sealing the printed copy with coats of clear acrylic spray before trimming and gluing it. Another problem was that the edge of the text ended too abruptly below the egg. I used a white colored pencil to gradually blend the lettering into the white background. I enjoy this piece, but I don’t believe that it is going to work at the larger size. The composition is not complex enough. The imagery fits the criteria for a successful piece in that it holds personal meaning, but as a stand-alone piece of art, it is boring. The element of mystery is not there. Also, from a designer’s point of view, it needs something much bolder in deep navy or black to add some excitement to the composition—perhaps a raven in flight? The fourth collage in the series, “Sunny Time” (see Figure 7), was my second attempt to use the sunflower image, since I felt that the first was unsuccessful. I used the same color scheme of primaries and continued the theme of travel imagery, using the map, a Costa Rican customs document, and water. The star acts as an official looking stamp. This is the first time I used a clock in my collage work. Time, how to use it effectively and what to do when it is running out, was an important concern in my life. Compositionally, this collage is active. The elements appear to float and move within the space. It can be viewed from any side and it still seems to work. During the time I worked on this piece I wrote the following in my journal: “The collages themselves might be becoming too precious. I need to remember that they are not the finished piece, just a plan for a larger one. Design flaws can be worked out on the final painting.” This particular piece took a very long time. It was difficult to 58

Figure 7: “Sunny Time” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

find and remember various compositions that I liked as I moved the elements around. I was trying to find the best composition instead of experimenting and taking a chance. Finally, I just had to tell myself to stop, glue things down, and move on. The appeal of this piece comes from the beautiful edge of the brilliant yellow sunflower where it interacts with the deep blue water. It is a dynamic pairing. I do not feel that this collage reflects the criteria of the spine however. It lacks any subtlety and gentle beauty. It does create a mood, but not the right mood. It lacks mystery or intrigue. 59

Figure 8: “Tiffany Bluebird” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

This collage, “Tiffany Bluebird”, came together effortlessly on the morning of July 9th, 2009 (see Figure 8). Determined to work more quickly, I went to the collage stack and just pulled out whatever I liked without evaluating, comparing, or combining. I chose my collage pieces completely intuitively. The only criteria was that I had to like them. The aqua background, created from a shopping bag from

Tiffany Jewelers, sets the mood. Ripped brown tape, stained with teal green paint from a watercolor board, completes the background. I had a difficult time gluing down the papers for this piece. I tried to change their position as I was gluing, but they stuck and tore. This turned out to be a wonderful accident as the torn edges and broken surfaces added some appealing texture. The brilliant yellow songbird contrasts with the blue background. The symbol of the egg appears again. Embedded in this symbol of potential is the image of the clock. I particularly liked the combination of the egg and the clock. I know in my day-to-day life this summer I was very concerned 60 with time and meeting the deadlines for this project. It seemed as if every moment of every day was already spoken for, and a project that should have been relaxing felt pressured. Potential was being smothered by stress about time. After struggling to create the two previous sunflower pieces, worrying over all the details, this collage came together very quickly. It felt great to be in the zone. In my journal I noted, “On a roll! Two collages today—yay! I am just putting images together without overthinking it—I hope! Pleasing color, pretty birds, and something unexpected” (personal journal entry, July 9, 2009). I believe that working for a few consecutive days helped me to get into the right mood to create. It is as if I had to warm up, like an athelete. This was my favorite collage to date. It contained all the elements I was hoping for—the beauty of the aqua color and the bird, and a bit of interest created by the unidentifiable background texture and the clock in the egg. This collage has the potential be enlarged into a painting, although the textures will be hard to duplicate in watercolor. 61

Figure 9: “Tower Raven” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

I did this collage called “Tower Raven” on August 27, 2009, after a long break between pieces (see Figure 9). The raven pictured is one of the famous Tower of London ravens and provided the initial inspiration. I shot the photo on a trip to England during August. The green grass background was culled from a magazine, and the black crinkled texture was created using India ink on parchment tracing paper. To tone down the background from the stark black and white, I used a transparent glaze of yellow acrylic paint. I drew the feet of the raven in with graphite pencil. Underneath the tissue is a tag from my luggage and a large printed polka dot pattern. The text is from a fortune cookie. It says, “You will be traveling to distant lands for business purposes,” which again alludes to my desire to travel. I am fascinated by ravens and crows, so this piece has lots of personal appeal. The photo was a natural starting point for planning this collage. The imagery and color in this piece were a departure from my previous work. Overall, Tower Raven 62 has a looser quality, less structured and hard-edged than the previous group of collages. Perhaps this is because a span of a month and a half had passed between them. Just before I began this piece, I wrote: I think I should be trying to include some of my own drawing or writing in my pieces to personalize them a bit.…The five small collages done earlier this summer have a commercial feeling that I’d like to lose. They need a ‘hand’ in there somewhere. (personal journal entry, August 27, 2009) Using the idea expressed in this personal note to evaluate the success of this piece, I feel that it works because of the introduction of drawing. In relation to the spine for my project, it lacks beauty, but it certainly holds a bit of intrigue. The tilted head of the raven and the look in his eye add curiosity. The numerals buried beneath the texture add interest. It may work as a larger watercolor, but the textural quality will be difficult to paint and may be lost. This “Teapot” collage was created on the same day as the previous one (see Figure 10). The focal point image of the deep turquoise teapot is balanced by the red bird in flight. The handwritten sheet of music in the background adds a human touch. Transparent glazes of ochre and teal, and torn edges, soften and break up the stark white paper of the music. A strip of cheesecloth tape and the bird’s eggs in shades of brown across the bottom, add a bit of an old-fashioned, nostalgic look. I struggled with the imagery on this collage. There are about five layers of paper buried under the sheet music. I could not get something satisfying, but I remembered something I had heard painter and University of California, Berkeley, professor Squeak Carnwath say at a lecture during the spring. She said that she works without a plan, without any idea. She just starts with anything. It may get covered over completely, many times. Her work is done when there is nothing else she wants to do 63

Figure 10: “Teapot” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

to it (personal journal entry, May 3, 2009). This piece has a nostalgic feeling that much contemporary collage work has. To me it feels as if it belongs with crafts or scrapbooking art. It is not a look that I like. It looks trendy, and that is certainly not where I want to place my work. It lacks individuality and personal meaning, so to me this piece is one of my least successful.

After another long break from artmaking, I completed collage number eight in the series (see Figure 11). It was done on a weekend art retreat in Healdsburg, California with my painting mentor Kathy Waste, on October 17, 2009. To select imagery, I returned to my favorite colors and themes. I chose the images intuitively. The face is a tracing of a Paul Gauguin painting done on parchment tracing paper that I had saved from a previous project. Gauguin has been my favorite artist since childhood. It is glued over two printed papers, an old map of the California coastline including Healdsburg and text from an old children’s book. The blue of the ocean 64

Figure 11: “Gauguin’s Grackle” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

on the map acts as the shadow on the woman’s face. Highlights were added to the drawing using white colored pencil. The bird is an African bird called the Superb Starling (not a grackle). The iridescent blue color and the exotic golden eye ring appealed to me. In the background are a magazine image of blue, corrugated metal, a solid indigo blue paper, and the distorted image of a yellow lily. The lily looks almost like a flame. The expression on the woman’s face is pensive, suspicious, melancholy, or mysterious, as if she is silently contemplating something off to the side of the piece. This created an interesting feeling of tension. This was a very pleasing collage to work on. I worked slowly, and there were many variations in the images and composition as I pondered my options. As often happens, I wished I had more than one copy of some of the magazine photos so that I could use them in more than one collage. At the retreat I was able to work uninterrupted and alone at a large table. I had 65 recently injured my hand and was working inside on collage instead of painting the landscape with the group outside. (I didn’t think I would be able to hold a brush properly with my index finger bandaged and splinted.) Since my expectations of getting anything at all done were lowered to begin with, I think I was able to work more spontaneously and without my usual, self-imposed pressure. Just before this retreat I received an e-mail response to my survey questions about inspiration from my former teacher, artist Michaele LeCompte. When asked what inspires her about the medium of collage she commented: When I make collages I am often disappointed that I can’t make the materials transcend their origins. The medium encourages a degree of cleverness which I think is deadly to real deep expression. I think most people are too sentimental and impersonal in their choice of images. (personal communication, October 16, 2009) The phrase “make the materials transcend their origins” resonated with me. It is very difficult to keep collage from seeming superficial. That was the problem with my last collage of the teapot—the images held no personal meaning, and I was just moving them around. I believe that the original choice of images needs to be very intuitive and the emotional connection with them strong for the collage to work. Sometimes it may not be obvious to a viewer what the images mean, as in this Gauguin inspired piece. Reinterpreting the enlarged collages as watercolor paintings also helps them transcend their origins. By removing the work another step away from the original collaged images, I am able to make adjustments that personalize it. I can add shadows, move elements around, and change values and color. The art becomes truly mine when it is painted. 66

Figure 12: “Dumb Bunting” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

Collage number nine was also created at the Healdsburg retreat (see Figure 12).

The main subject is a colorful bird. It is surrounded by a tropical ocean scene, made from an old book illustration and two photos. Tissue with red squiggles was laid over the background and colored pencil was added to soften the image. This collage is my least favorite in the series. The final result was a disappointment. It seems too cute and pretty and doesn’t really hold any meaning for me. I hated to waste the bird photo so maybe it will be reworked someday, but in the meantime it is relegated to the scrap heap. Oddly, some friends who have seen the series like this one best. On the Veterans Day holiday, November 11th, 2009, I finished the tenth and final collage in the series (see Figure 13). The bright yellow bird appealed to me and was the starting place for this piece. I returned to my favorite colors and images again: the yellow bird, turquoise, a map, text from a field guide, and polka dots. This piece 67

Figure 13: “Cactus Warbler” collage on masonite, 6" x 6"

came together very quickly. Using familiar colors and images felt very safe. From the beginning I knew that I would certainly like some part of it. I don’t actually know what species this little bird is, but I used the warbler page from the field guide because he seems to be singing so cheerily. The composition uses angled edges which keep the eye moving.

While I worked on this piece I just wanted it to get done. I was ready to begin painting one of the larger pieces, but I was feeling pressured to make a certain number of collages. My original goal had been 20, with five pieces ready to enlarge into paintings. By this point in the project I knew that goal was unrealistic and unattainable, and I was ready to move ahead with painting the Tiffany Bluebird piece. I asked myself, “abandon the collages for the moment and develop the one piece I really like or stay the course as planned? I am afraid that I will lose momentum if I don’t begin the painting while I feel strongly about it” (personal journal entry, 68

November 10th, 2009). The next day I added, “Permission. I give myself permission to do the art that is in my heart” (personal journal entry, November 11, 2009). I went ahead and made this final collage that day, but I also began to think seriously about the first painting and enlarged a copy of “Tiffany Bluebird” to get the feel for the image at the larger size.

Moving to a Larger Painting After completing all ten collage studies, I had the task of deciding which would be suitable to enlarge and paint in watercolor. I initially was very focused on painting the “Tiffany Bluebird” piece and felt very enthused about it. I had the small collage scanned and blown up on a large format copier. When it was enlarged to 20" x 20", the main image of the cute yellow songbird became huge—almost frightening. The initial appeal of the pretty color combination and the intrigue of the clock image embedded within the egg was completely overpowered by the gigantic bird. Additionally, there was not enough detail at the larger size to make the painting interesting for a viewer and to invite them to look closer. I feel that a good painting should have appeal when viewed at a distance, as well as a second layer of interest when viewed close up. After realizing that my first impulsive choice was not going to work, I went back to the studio and laid out all ten collages on my work table to compare them. I began flipping over those that I felt were not appealing for one reason or another. I also referred to my notes from the previous section of this chapter and looked for work that I still felt inspired about and emotionally connected with. From the original ten pieces I selected five: “Tiffany Bluebird”, “Summer Tanager”, “Cactus Warbler”, “Costa Rican Moon”, and “Sunny Time”. Then I enlarged each collage to 14" x 14". I decided that “Tiffany Bluebird” 69 and “Summer Tanager” would work nicely as a pair at this smaller size. They are similar in their bold simplicity and their broad expanses of negative space. They looked nice side by side, and the birds were not disturbingly large at this size. The other three; “Cactus Warbler,” “Costa Rican Moon,” and “Sunny Time,” were too complex to paint at the 14" x 14" size, primarily because they all included maps or other detailed text. I enlarged these three again, this time to 20" x 20", and all of them were very pleasing at this size. In the end I chose “Cactus Warbler” to paint for the July show primarily because of the bright spirit of the piece. I enjoy the colors, and the subject makes me happy. When it is framed and hung, it will be an appropriate piece to celebrate the completion of this year-long creative journey.

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Chapter 4 REFLECTION

Personal Sources of Inspiration For over three decades of artmaking I have had widely varied views on the role inspiration plays in my art. At times I have felt that it was essential, yet elusive. At other times, it was unimportant or even unnecessary. The value and definition I placed on inspiration heavily influenced whether or not I made art, and if I was making art, how I perceived its worth. Now I believe that inspiration plays a very important role in my work, and I have a much more forgiving definition of what constitutes inspiration for me. Superficial forms of inspirational validity created by the surrounding world are irrelevant—the only thing that matters is the level of connection that I feel to my work. Understanding my relationship to inspiration is essential for my validation as an artist and is at the crux of this project. My self-worth and identity are dependant upon my accepting the unique sources of my inspiration as valid sources, and their expression on paper as meaningful expression. Without this acceptance there will always be the fear that my work lacks meaning. I believe that working with sincerity and integrity, as well as fully engaging in my ideas on an emotional level, will give my work meaning and make it “real” for me. This process of connecting with my inspirational sources, and at the same time accepting the self-doubt that is a normal component of the creative life, will be a lifelong work-in-progress. Working on this project has helped me validate myself as an artist. The challenge is to maintain this positive view, to continue to value myself as an artist every day. The key to this will be keeping myself emotionally connected with my work. During the six months that it took me to complete my collage studies, as well 71 as during the past year of recording thoughts in my journal, themes emerged regarding my own creative process. Many practices promoted my feelings of inspiration and simultaneously promoted my positive self-image and identity. Inspirational influences included: recurring imagery, music, journaling, reading, artist’s talks, participating in art shows, and feeling part of an artistic community. Another positive influence was the restorative, therapeutic power of creating art.

Recurring Images I am drawn to the same imagery over and over again. I was surprised how strongly I connect with the symbols and colors I choose, and how often, even over the course of many months, these recurring ideas appear. My relationship to the visual and material world, and my selection of the images I use, is personal and intuitive. The way that I view the world as my visual resource kit is uniquely mine. My strong connection to certain images is one of the elements that makes my work, my work. These images comprise my personal symbol set. In her book Collage for the Soul: Expressing Hopes and Dreams Through Art, author Holly Harrison quotes collage artist Lynne Perrella: The best way to maintain a constant and lively flow of creativity is to acknowledge our lifelong enthusiasms and use that as an endless reference

library. Return to colors, images, themes, quotations, and iconography that have always resonated strongly for you. The artwork done as a result of honoring those enthusiasms is bound to be personal, revealing, and reflective. (2003, p. 53) The image of a bird has been appearing in my work for about five years. Initially, I was fascinated with crows and ravens, but more recently I have been attracted to images of small colorful songbirds. What does this symbol mean to me? 72

I have read that a bird can represent the soul or angels, but I believe that in my art it stands for the concepts of freedom and joy, and possibly journeys and migration. I also frequently use maps, which most obviously symbolize travel and discovery. The egg is often a symbol of beginnings, but to me it is a symbol of potential and things to come: it has not hatched yet. The clock is a symbol of the passage of time. The medium of collage invites an opportunity for serendipity, not found in painting, as different symbols are combined. The creative juxtaposition of collage elements allows the artist and viewer to create many secondary meanings. My frequent color choice of blue could mean spirit, intellect, and imagination. Yellow can mean illumination, light, and intellect (Harrison, 2003, p. 67). To me, it is the combination of these colors that is exciting: they are full of joy and energy, especially when combined with a festive polka dot pattern. These powerful personal symbols speak of my desire to explore the world, to go. I need visual and intellectual stimulation, and one way of providing this would be to travel. I am not interested in traveling as a tourist, but, instead immersing myself in a new and fascinating culture by living within it. I believe my childhood experience of living abroad fuels this desire. Lack of freedom, time, and money conspire to keep me from realizing this dream, yet is alive in my artwork in lively color, maps, and free-flying birds.

Music Another recurring image during this time came from music. This year I have been fixated on a contemporary folk song by The Wailin’ Jennys called “Arlington.” I really connected with the mood created by both the music and the lyrics, which intrigued me as the basis for a series of paintings. The first verse says: Where do you go little bird 73

When it snows, when it snows When the world turns to sleep Do you know, do you know Is there something in the wind Breathes a chill in your heart and life in your wings Does it whisper ‘start again’ Start again Numerous journal entries mention this song as I tried to figure out how to integrate it into my work. This spring I wrote: Can one be intimidated by an idea that you think is good? I am ready to start Arlington, but I keep finding other little paintings to work on first. The lyrics and music are so good I am hoping I can create a mood with my piece that is as powerful. That is intimidating. (personal journal entry, March 17, 2009) Yet the idea lingered. I asked myself these questions: Is this song a metaphor for my life? Am I waiting for a bleak period to end, to fly? Am I compelled by an unseen force to go? Is it cyclical? Why is this idea of the chill appealing, especially when I hate the cold? It’s beautiful, but from a distance. Am I seeking warmth? (personal journal entry, July 11, 2009)

And more questions persisted: How can a piece of art create a feeling like the feeling of a minor key in music? The Arlington song that I keep returning to has that minor melancholy tone to it. Is it blue? Is it cold? Is it a feeling of separation or distance? (personal journal entry, November 10, 2009) The idea of using themes from this song was never far from my mind. Even my subconscious was working the idea out when I didn’t realize it. On November 9th I 74 noted, “That thing about ideas when you’re driving—it’s true. Add Arlington lyrics to the white area on the Tiffany Bluebird piece” (personal journal entry). Most recently I added, “Is migration, change of season, my theme? Can both [paintings] use the Arlington lyrics? Cyclical changes, warmer climes, the need to go coming from somewhere within” (personal journal entry, November 29, 2009).

Journaling The practice of keeping an artist’s journal was a very positive experience for me during this project. At first I had planned to do daily morning pages as outlined in Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, but I was not able to keep up with that regimen. Journaling was a beneficial practice anyway. Through journaling I was able to clearly identify the spine of my work. Writing helped me to articulate and maintain focus on my project’s concept. Given the long breaks between creating some of the collages, maintaining this conceptual continuity was very important to the goal of creating a body of work that appeared unified. Journaling over the year and then returning to my journal entries and studying them revealed connections in my work and life of which I was previously unaware. Patterns of imagery, working style, frustrations, and so on, became evident only in retrospect. Discovering these patterns was helpful and will influence my work in the future. By journaling I also was able to clarify some larger life goals as I reflected on current events in my life. This past spring, in March 2009, my brother died of cancer at the age of 51. Of course there were many thoughts that crossed my mind during this sad and confusing time, but in relation to my artwork I concluded that I couldn’t afford to wait until the timing was perfect to make art. I had best get on with it now because life is short. This event showed me how important it was to find a way of using my 75 time meaningfully. In my journal I mentioned the tension between pausing to reflect and the urgency to move forward. (personal journal entry, July 8, 2009).

Reading and Lectures Reading about art, artists, and the sources of artistic inspiration was also an inspiration for me. I have never seen myself as much of a reader or scholar, yet processing the different concepts put forth by the authors affirmed not only that I understood what they were talking about, but that I already had a good understanding of this subject. I found myself saying, “I know this stuff!” Feeling that I understood the subject somewhat innately made it easier for me to tackle the artwork itself and removed some of the fear of getting started with my project. One of the most inspirational activities during this time was attending art shows and lectures by artists. For example, on May 3, 2009, I attended a lecture by artist Squeak Carnwath in conjunction with a retrospective show of her painting at the Oakland Museum. During her talk so many of her ideas intrigued me that I could hardly write them down quickly enough. She talked about her life and her studio practice. Every part of her daily activities, sweeping the studio floor, reading, gathering imagery, and painting, are part of her life as an artist. She discussed where her ideas come from and how she goes about developing them through repetition, intuition, and working and reworking images. She talked about the symbols she uses in her work and their very personal meanings. The depth of her self-awareness with regards to her art and process fascinated me. She said that through the act of painting, she is changed. She believes that artmaking activity is a self-building activity, and that it is a fabulous way to gain personal insights (lecture notes, May 3, 2009). Sensing her authenticity, enthusiasm, and dedication to her work was very inspiring to me. Her ideas resonated with me and supported what I was trying to do with my art. 76

Participating In Art Shows Exhibiting and selling my work was inspirational for me this year, too. In April I was invited to be a guest artist at the Sacramento Orchid Show. Fellow watercolorist Catherine Buscaglia and I painted for two days while guests at the orchid show viewed the exhibits. It was motivating to have them stop by our booth and comment positively on my work, as well as offer to purchase paintings. Then in May, I was part of a group show at Dunnigan Realty in Sacramento. I decided to submit at least a dozen pieces. Having a deadline was motivating. Committing to participate in this show really got me busy painting and framing. Then, this fall I had a visit from a friend from out of state. She wanted to see what I had been working on. She said, when looking at some of my landscapes and large floral pieces, “I’ve seen Georgia O”Keeffe before.” At first I was shocked by her comment, but I was really pleased when she decided to purchase a print of one of my collage and watercolor pieces. She liked it because it was unique, and I was happy that she chose a piece that I felt emotionally invested in—one that had come from somewhere very personal. That was very affirming.

Being Part of a Community of Artists Another motivating factor this past year, that I had not been previously aware of, is that I am very energized by being part of a community of artists. It is important for me to identify myself as an artist not only by making art, but also by spending time with others of like mind. Because I have been in classes this past year and a half, busy completing the requirements for my master's program, I have not been able to paint with my watercolor friends as much as I would have liked. I have been purposely saying “no” to invitations and workshops. I realized I was missing these connections. However, the e-mail interviews I conducted about artistic inspiration helped me feel 77 connected with artists who share common concerns. I was thrilled with everyone’s willingness to participate in a meaningful way. Working with the other visual artists in my master's program has also been a very supportive experience. In Art and Fear authors Bayles and Orland stated that in order for artists to continue making art, they need to support each other, and I agree. In their humorous “Operating Manual for Not Quitting,” they write: A. Make friends with others who make art, and share your in-progress work with each other frequently. B. Learn to think of [A], rather than the Museum of Modern Art, as the destination of your work. (Look at it this way: If all goes well MOMA will eventually come to you). (1993, p. 12)

The Meditative Nature of Painting Finally, one of the important aspects of my artmaking that I have previously overlooked is the very meditative and therapeutic nature of painting. Artmaking is a very peaceful escape from the constant activity and stresses of my life as a teacher, parent, and student. Creating art solely to enjoy the restorative powers of the activity of painting is reason enough to do it. Squeak Carnwath noted this aspect of artmaking in her gallery talk stating, “I believe that if you practice anything really deeply, it is a meditation” (lecture notes, May 3, 2009). I experienced this benefit this past fall. On September 18-19 my Master's Cohort went on a Creativity Retreat at the Marin Headlands. During the afternoon we had the opportunity to spend some time individually exploring different aspects of creativity. I chose to spend two uninterrupted hours painting a little landscape of the red-roofed buildings on the fog- shrouded hillside. Afterward, I wrote in my journal, “The satisfying part was sitting still without the ‘monkey mind’ taking over. It was a focused meditative process. 78

I was able to enjoy nature, the air, the view, and really be in my own zone for the painting time” (personal journal entry, September 20, 2009). The “monkey mind” is a term used in yoga: The monkey mind jumps from thought to thought like a monkey jumps from tree to tree. Rather than existing in the present moment, the monkey mind focuses on one thought after another, and these thoughts distract us from existing in the present. (http://yoga.about.com/b/2007/01/18/quieting-the monkey-mind.htm, retrieved January 24, 2010)

Before painting I had been frustrated and tired, but afterward I felt calm, refreshed, and restored.

Obstacles to Creating Artwork My study of the sources of my artistic inspiration would not be complete without examining those things that inhibit my creative expression. During the last year, journaling helped me identify some of the recurring obstacles I face as an artist. Those that were mentioned repeatedly were the lack of adequate time, interruptions, and the fear that I lacked depth of meaning in my work. The first of these, lack of adequate time, was by far the most common complaint I had. My responsibilities at work, home, and school consumed most of my hours each week. On February 4, 2009, in a journal response to author Julia Cameron’s assumption in The Artist’s Way that all artists are creatively blocked, I wrote, “Blocked? Not so much. I would do art if there were more hours in a day. If I didn’t have to make a living, well, it would be different, but to ignore financial reality would be just stupid” (personal journal entry). Not only was the total amount of time available to create art too little, but the way that the time was allotted was also a problem. There was not enough sustained 79 time to maintain enthusiasm and a strong commitment to my project. “I believe that it takes incredible focus and hours of time in a condensed period to create a body of work… it takes being a full time artist!” (personal journal entry, February 23, 2009) Lack of time continued to be a frustration. In the fall I concluded that: It is much easier to connect with enthusiasm with new work, and volume does matter. You need a large chunk of time to create a unified body of work that (literally) hangs together. And you need to create that work while you are excited about your new direction. If you drag out the process, the work looks scattered and your enthusiasm fades. Then your head and heart are off in a new direction before you have fully explored the current (stale) direction. So, how much time is needed? There’s a reason “starving artists” are starving, I think. To really get to the heart of your art you need to abandon other, more sensible, ways of making a living to be totally absorbed in your work and ideas. Most of us are not willing to do this. I really do think a good piece of inspiration comes from being single-minded enough to let the ideas in. (personal journal entry, September 20, 2009) Given that lack of painting time was a huge obstacle for me to overcome, effectively managing the little time I did have became very important. Creating a studio routine and eliminating distractions and interruptions was essential. I was already aware that this was an important aspect of artmaking, but during this project I fully realized how difficult it is to achieve. On August 27, 2009, I complained, “Just about everything seems to get in the way of actually doing art” (personal journal entry). The frustration expressed here was at the end of a summer that had been filled with time-consuming obligations—financial, educational, work-related, and family. I had hoped to spend eleven weeks creating the collages for this project, but all these 80 things ate away at my time. Even experienced artists struggle to protect their working hours. When asked in my e-mail interview, “Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork?” painter Kathrine Lemke Waste responded: Half the battle is to get up and go to work in the studio every day. I also try to keep my schedule arranged so that most of my appointments are on Fridays, so my other days aren’t interrupted with “off-site” trips. It seems like such a simple response, but keeping art-making a regular habit is really important. (personal communication) Collage artist Lisa Camp concurred: Because I work from home, I try to be very disciplined and get all of my “domestic” chores, errands, and phone calls out of the way in the morning. hen I have the entire afternoon to work, usually 3-4 hours. (personal communication) Even commissioned artwork, seemingly a good thing, can create a time issue if your time is already limited. I was approached to do two commissions this year. I agreed to do the first, but I turned down the second having learned a valuable lesson from the first. I wrote that commissioned work “keeps me from getting on with my own work in the limited time I have, and from expressing my own aesthetic” (personal journal entry, April 25, 2009). I also became aware of how difficult it is for me to work on writing and to make art at the same time. The reading and writing for this project have challenged me intellectually. The synthesis of thought that is needed to make my writing meaningful consumes me. I concluded that “I need to do a good chunk of writing before I start to paint. I don’t think I can reasonably engage fully in both processes 81 at the same time” (personal journal entry, December 1, 2009). Because painting is a meditation of sorts, one must be mentally focused to produce meaningful work. Turning off the phone and computer, finishing chores, etc. are all good studio strategies, but eliminating distractions of the mental kind is equally important. Artist Kathrine Lemke Waste agreed. “If I’m on the computer or working on a non-painting project, it’s hard for me to change my brainwaves and actually paint” (personal communication). If I am to make art in a serious way, I will need to deal with the issue of time. Valuing myself as an artist will make setting aside studio time a priority. Studio time must be dedicated, uninterrupted, and sacred, solely for the purpose of making art. I will need to prioritize time to allow inspirational influences to surface and thrive. Finally, and most significantly, the long-held fear that my artwork may not be meaningful enough, and that I am therefore not a legitimate artist, resurfaced. I don’t believe that this fear prevented me from producing art, but it certainly undermined my confidence in the work I created. In The Creative Habit author Twyla Tharp lists some of the most common fears of artists, and “I have nothing to say” is among them. She also adds that it is “An irrelevant fear. We all have something to say” (2003, p. 22). It may be common, but it is nevertheless something I have to periodically face.

After hearing painter Squeak Carnwath speak, being very impressed with her understanding of herself and her work, I began to feel insecure and asked myself, “Am I deep enough to be a painter?” (personal journal entry, May 3rd, 2009) Months later I mentioned this fear again. I wrote: In all the reading I have been doing, some of the old doubts and thoughts about my own art have surfaced again. In The Art Spirit (1923), Henri makes a strong case for art having to be deeply meaningful to the maker—an expression 82

of his passion and respect for the subject. I continued: I read the intro to No More Secondhand Art (1989) by London. He emphasizes that real art is a very deeply personal expression that moves beyond even what is beautiful or novel to the maker, but instead embodies “large deep purposes” that are full of “the art spirit and power.” Yikes! It all makes what I do sound pretty fraudulent…at least most of it. For that matter it makes most of the art we see around us mere decoration. (personal journal entry, October 1, 2009)

I articulated this fear more recently as: I read something online about artists yesterday that stopped me short—those that are merely “performers” and those that have that something more that comes from passion/feeling/emotion. The performers have the technical skills but not much to say. This is (still) one of my deepest fears—that I have nothing worthy to say. (personal journal entry, October 26, 2009) Since my technical skills are strong, I sometimes feel that I rely on them as a surefire way to make a successful piece of artwork. Many viewers are impressed with the detail in some of my work, and most of the world might consider artwork that is skillfully rendered a success. Yet, I know which pieces are only representational, in which there was no internal source that provided meaning, and I feel that they are lacking. The idea that inspiration is an essential ingredient in art is not new. Ancient Greek philosopher Plato wrote that: The man who arrives at the doors of artistic creation with none of the madness of the Muses, would be convinced that technical ability alone was enough to make an artist…what that man creates by means of reason will pale before the 83

art of inspired beings. (http://quote.robertgenn.com/getquotes.php?catid=199, retrieved January 28, 2010) But having technical skill is undeniably very important to creating successful art, too. Regarding this balancing act between passion and skill, Twyla Tharp wrote, “Without passion, all the skill in the world won’t lift you above craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. Combining the two is the essence of the creative life” (2003, p. 173).

Implications for Future Artwork The process of creating small collages as studies for future paintings was generally successful. Many of the compositions are very pleasing to me. However, the process became tedious due to the extended amount of time it took for me to produce the collages. The idea that they would act as quick thumbnails did not work. They each took hours and became precious artworks in themselves. Even though I reminded myself to adhere to my original concept for the project, I was still unable to view them as sketches. But perhaps because so much time was invested in each small collage, I was able to select five out of ten that I believe would make suitable larger paintings. This was more than I had anticipated. The concept of using collages to create quick compositions for my paintings might work if I had more concentrated studio time. I had trouble getting into the zone. During the summer of 2009 there was a block of a few uninterrupted days where I felt that things were really moving along, and I was able to create the collages with a little more freedom. The culminating event for this project will be participating in a group show with other cohort visual artists. My goal will be to exhibit the ten framed collage studies and a large painting derived from one of them. One task will be to write an 84

“artist’s statement” that synthesizes my goals and the personal meanings derived from this work. Art marketing specialist Alyson Stanfield in her Art Biz Blog says, “Your statement should reflect your current direction, particularly what is unique about the methods and materials you use to create your art work.” She adds: Above all, your statement should compel readers to look at your art. If it doesn’t do that, it hasn’t done it’s job. Your statement failed if people read the words you’ve written, and then they go on to the next artist without being intrigued enough to take another look at your work. (retrieved on January 30, 2010 from http://www.artbizblog.com/2009/11/honestmt.html) To write my statement, I will return to the spine of the project, “intriguing, beautiful, mysterious, personal through symbols and images, touches something universal.” Articulating what these notes to myself meant in a way that is comprehensible to my viewers will be difficult, yet important. These words were chosen spontaneously and came from a very personal place. I am not sure why I placed value on those particular adjectives, and it will take some soul-searching to explain them. The element of mystery will be the most difficult to define. Following the show, I will enjoy my first summer off in eight years. One of the realizations I had while working on this project is that I need, once again, to make time for my art a priority. This time needs to be non-negotiable. Many years ago I strayed from my original intention of using my summers off from teaching to produce my own artwork. Instead, I spent the time teaching art to children. Both the experience and income were valuable, but these factors did not compensate for the loss of time to explore my own work and, in the process, promote my own well-being. My hope is that this summer I will be able to establish a studio routine and, for two months, be a fine artist. 85

I do not know which direction my work will take. I will need some rest time after finishing the show in order to let new ideas form. I have really enjoyed working in collage this past year and perhaps will focus on larger mixed media works using collage, watercolor, and acrylic. I also hope to make time to paint regularly to reap the therapeutic benefits of the activity. For a while I may focus on the meditative process more than the product. Developing a supportive network of artist friends will be very important too. I need to reconnect with some of my watercolor friends, and I hope to maintain the relationships I have developed with other cohort artists as well. Another practice that I want to incorporate regularly into my life will be journaling about my art. I’ve learned that journaling is a powerful tool for understanding my work. The work done over this past year has also influenced the direction of my career. I feel strongly that I would be happier teaching art than teaching in a regular elementary school classroom, as I am now. The current myopic emphasis in the public schools on achieving high test scores, to me, goes against all I have learned in my master's program about what students actually need to experience in order to be engaged learners who retain knowledge. Sadly, I do not see a shift in focus coming from the California State Department of Education any time soon. Consequently, I will be looking for a position teaching art within my school district. These jobs are few and far between, but I can begin the search. Teaching overseas is still high on my list of personal goals. I would very much like to teach art at an international school, so having some experience teaching art in the U.S. would be good to have on my resumé. And, should I ever decide to take the leap and become a full time artist, I feel that I am better prepared to do so as a result of the understandings gained through the Arts in Education Masters program. The mental attitudes and practices of successful artists have become clearer to me. 86

Implications for Teaching The way in which I approach teaching art will be based on the power of art to help students perceive and convey their own experiences. Of course, there is an important place in art education for learning the various tools, mediums, and techniques, but creating opportunities for students to express their own aesthetic will take precedence. My teaching will emphasize two concepts, practices that promote connection to an individual’s inspirational sources and removal of fears and obstacles that block that connection. One of my goals will be to help students identify and connect with their own sources of inspiration. Many of the practices that I have found to be so valuable to my own development as an artist would also benefit my students. Developing their ability to notice and record inspirations and connections all around them will be important. Teaching students to view the world as a visual resource, as I learned from my mentor teacher Bonnie Stott, will be one of my tasks. I will provide plenty of opportunities for students to be inspired by reading about and discussing art, viewing artwork in galleries and museums, and hearing artists speak. In order to promote the strong emotional connection to their work that I feel is essential, students will learn to use a journal. They will be encouraged to record important influences and personally meaningful observations. They will write their own narratives about their artwork, both during the process and when reflecting on and evaluating finished pieces. Creating a community of trust in the classroom will be very important. I have benefitted from my alliance with other artists, and likewise, students will be encouraged to support each other. Making myself available to students on an emotional and personal level will help create community. I hope to make my life and own artistic practice an example for my students, as some of my most influential 87 college professors did for me. The low affective filter needed in all learning environments is especially important in the art room. What teachers and other students say can profoundly influence the way in which a student perceives his/her ability to make art. How many individuals have abandoned their interest in art before they have really gotten started because of a negative comment? Because art is such a personal expression, criticism of one’s art can cut to the bone. It is hard for the student artist to separate criticism of their work from criticism of themselves. Teacher feedback should be keenly tuned to the readiness level of the individual to receive critique. I learned this lesson firsthand from professor Michaele LeCompte at Sacramento City College, when I took her collage class. She is gifted at sensing the appropriate comments for each student and takes the time to make whatever she says thoughtful, useful, and meaningful. For younger students, constructive critique by the teacher of their projects should be done individually in a non-threatening and private way, rather than in a group where embarrassment in front of one’s peers could be devastating. Additionally, the ability of students to evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses as artists needs to be developed.

Broader Implications for Education Keeping “art for art’s sake” in schools will be a broader goal. With the United States’ current emphasis on curriculum standards and test scores, art is often used to support learning in other subject areas, instead of being taught as a subject on its own. When taught this way art is inappropriately placed in the role of illustration and graphic design. It is important for educators to keep the distinction between art and illustration clear. Author and university professor Gregg Berryman clarifies this difference: 88

Graphic design is not art…. Often graphic design looks like art (and vice versa). Materials and techniques are similar. Both artist and designer solve visual problems. The artist satisfies self while the designer must move groups of people to attend an event, follow a sign, understand a map, learn a scientific principle, or buy a product. (1979, p. 3) When art is learned only in relation to other subject areas, the study of art is devalued. The real value of learning art is its potential as a self-building activity for the student. Returning to the work of influential educational theorists John Dewey and Elliot Eisner, one recognizes the value of art education as a way for schools to create opportunities for students to have the positive experiences necessary for genuine learning. These experiences must be in accord with a student’s needs and interests, as the starting point for all learning is a meaningful connection to the individual. Experiences include practical, intellectual, and emotional components—the essential element being emotion. Emotion is the glue that cements knowledge via experience. Art is one of the many languages that students must be fluent in, a visual language that bypasses the literal to connect with the emotional components of one’s being. The connection between emotion and artistic inspiration is their source within the individual. Inspiration reflects the genuineness of the individual, and that which is of great personal significance. Understanding one’s inspiration involves self- realization. Therefore, creating opportunities for students to understand and express their artistic inspiration is a way for them to connect with their emotions, and in turn, imbue their education and lives with meaning. 89

APPENDIX

E-mail Interview Questions and Responses For this project I wanted to find out what other artists thought on the subject of their own artistic inspiration, and if their were any patterns in their responses. I was particularly interested in what other women artists thought. I sent this e-mail survey to eleven artists and received six responses.

The following introduction and four questions were sent on October 16, 2009:

Hi friends and fellow artists, As many of you know, I’m working on my thesis in the Arts in Education at Sac State. The topic I have chosen is artistic inspiration. I feel that understanding the sources of creative work will be important for my future teaching. So, what compels us to do the creative work we do? Some theorists believe inspiration comes from an internal or spiritual source, while others believe there are very tangible practices and attitudes that lead to productivity in the arts. Still others believe it is both. Where do you find the inspiration you need to do your work? If you can take a few minutes to help me with my research by answering the questions below I would very much appreciate it! Just hit reply and e-mail your responses back to me. I am hoping to wrap up my research by Friday, October 23. 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? 2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? 90

Response from Michaele LeCompte, MFA Artist and Instructor, Sacramento City College, Sacramento, California 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? It’s complicated and I may not even fully know why I am an artist. Three or four things stand out from my childhood. My mother drew a circus mural on our bedroom wall -- I was amazed by the whole process -- she transformed our world by creating something from nothing. This was a huge revelation. I remember playing with the construction materials in our back yard from my father’s bricklaying business -- I moved big blocks of terra-cotta bricks into interesting shapes and spaces. It helped me visualize space -- that love of space never left me, not to mention my passion for moving furniture around my house looking for the perfect relationships. My father made a stool for my brother who was too short to reach the bathroom sink and he painted it in a color combination that caused the colors to “jiggle” or vibrate—I thought this was magic! This is the fountain head of my love of color. Lastly, my mother hung reproductions from Life Magazine on my walls when Matisse died in 1954 and told me to look at these “wild” things -- the seeds for appreciating abstraction were sown when I was 8 or 9 years old. I made no art myself until college—I took no classes in junior high or high school. Finally when I was in college, I felt really scared and alone—this intensely emotional time created the bedrock for trying to find something to anchor myself to—something that I could nurture and something that was “mine”. It was then that I took my first watercolor class in the very classroom where I now teach. 2. Do you experience artist’s block? if so, how do you overcome it? I don’t know if what I call “artist’s block” is the same for me as everyone else. I fear and dread letting myself down by making work that is trite or unremarkable. I have 91 to talk myself out of this feeling so I can make the next thing. When I’m making something that is very engaging to me, all of these fears fall away. I only live in the moment. There aren’t any voices in my head screaming that I’m not good enough, brave enough, etc. But the doubts are about rigor as my friend told me recently -- I want the rigor of how I work the materials, solve the visual problems, etc to shine through. I want to have enough critical judgment and rigor to tell when something falls below my standard but not so much that I become paralyzed and silenced. 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork?

Looking at great art whenever possible -- from all periods, all styles, all media, all subject matter. Painting and other works of art are my best and most constant teacher. It never ends either. 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? Collage is one of the most loved mediums but it is also one of the most difficult. It often looks like scrap booking, which can be done artfully but most of the time it isn’t able to shift into “great” art. When I make collages I am often disappointed that I can’t make the materials transcend their origins. The medium encourages a degree of cleverness which I think is deadly to real deep expression. I think most people are too sentimental and impersonal in their choice of images. Abstract collage with heavily worked surfaces can bring something fresh and exciting to life. I am drawn to collage and I love teaching it but I think I’ve only made a few pieces that missed the big scrap heap!

Response from Mollie Morrison Collage Artist and Art Teacher, Brookfield School, Sacramento 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? 92

My grandmother quilted. I would watch her create these giant beautiful quilts adding fabric after fabric. She built a love of artistry, fashion and fabric. I find when I am painting and really in the moment I can remember how I felt watching her hands create. 2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? Yes, I was hoping you could help me. I am a sponge to constructive criticism. I find that I crave feedback after working in my studio for months. However; I have trouble both taking in comments and taking in too many ideas at once. I find that I have to paint with only me in my head and I am completely thrown off as soon as anyone else’s comments start pecking in my ear. 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? QUIET, MUSIC, no interruptions…so I never work :) Thursdays I have from 9-2:30 for painting. My house is quiet. I avoid the computer, phone, doorbell, television. I turn on my music loud and paint uninterrupted. Then I wait until next Thursday… 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? Texture, mixing pattern, fabric, painting fabric and layering ideas on top of each other. FASHION!!!

Response from Karen Bowers, MA Artist and Teacher, Albion, California 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? I feel “compelled” to paint in response to the natural world, for the most part as well as the world of ideas. Painting is a practice for me that must take place, just like physical exercise. So, in a sense, my painting is internally driven. 93

2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it?

I do experience blocks. I overcome by working on old, paintings in which I have no stake. I “throw the book” at a painting, work fast, don’t think, just paint. When I can dispense with a desired outcome and just paint for the process, I usually overcome the block….Since my paintings are internally driven, the internal infernal nagging about the meaning of my work does have an impact in terms of blockages. That’s why, I believe, that the best way for me to overcome is to just paint and not worry about the outcome. 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? I like to warm up by going for a run with my dogs, then making a cup of tea, meditating sometimes, lighting incense, putting on some upbeat music and having all my materials at hand. 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? I go about the world picking up things…ideas, words and phrases I jot down, as well as intriguing materials and souvenirs. I love putting things together and layering. I make my own papers as well as use these ready made items. Collage expands the surface of the painting by adding texture. In terms of joining the natural world to the world of ideas, collage allows me to work on these aspects at once, kind of like multi- tasking.

Response from Hannah Hunter, MFA. Art Therapist, Child Life & Creative Arts Therapies Program UC Davis Children’s Hospital, Sacramento, CA 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? Definitely the natural world in all its many and various aspects. Right now I’m 94 fascinated by leaves. Leaves turning colors, leaves as they fall, fallen leaves and leaves holding droplets of water from the rain. I also draw inspiration from other artists, particularly those from the Buddhist and Hindu traditions in ancient India and Tibet. Also love the Renaissance. And many modern artists. In fact, I’m inspired by many of my artist friends. Their seeking and finding in turn re-inspires me. 2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? Absolutely. The only way I’ve found to overcome it is to keep coming back to the studio and making art, even if it lacks vibrancy. It’s like priming a pump. As I work, after a period of days, weeks or months the ideas start to flow. On the other hand, sometimes its time to take a break from the studio; after a show, when you’re ill, when you’re burned out. Then its time to lay fallow, like the earth in winter. The work will return refreshed it its time. 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? Spending some time at my artist’s altar before I begin. Playing music of all kinds, and listening to books on CD. All of these things help to disconnect my critical mind. 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? Variety, immediacy, and the delight of putting together a puzzle which has no limits as to how many or which pieces I use. Practically and ethically speaking, it is also a way for me to practice recycling in art.

Response from Lisa Camp, MFA Collage Artist, Rhinebeck, New York 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? I have been surrounded by artistic people all of my life. Both parents attended Pratt 95

Institute in Brooklyn, NY and I graduated from Pratt with a BFA in Painting. My grandfather was an Architect and my grandmother was an Interior Designer as well as an amazing gardener. From my grandmother I learned what a garden represents: cultivation, placement, color, structure and this has become my greatest inspiration. The garden is a potent marker of reality and time; life and death; growth and decay; perfection and distortion, simplicity and density. The garden represents an ideal: “And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden”. 2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? My greatest block is self-doubt. At times I find it hard to take myself seriously as an artist and I feel that it’s rather presumptuous to tell people that “I’m an artist”. Other times I feel that it’s selfish to make art because it has no real value other than to myself. But, when I do begin a piece, I look at art magazines for inspiration as well as my own work that I feel is successful. I also look at books by two of my favorite artists, Cy Twombly and Richard Diebenkorn, although not necessarily for their images but rather for the “spirit” and energy that their work gives me. Then I put my ipod on “random” at high volume and start pushing things around on paper. With no rhyme or reason, I sometimes work on a piece for months and other times I’m finished in a week.

3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? Because I work from home, I try to be very disciplined and get all of my “domestic” chores, errands and phone calls out of the way in the morning. Then I have the entire afternoon to work, usually 3-4 hours. My studio is a south-facing room in our house and I work best in the afternoon, when the light is good. If a piece is “calling me”, then I’ll return to it later that night and continue working. I’m ALWAYS thinking of the work in progress and when I’m struggling with it, I sometimes even dream about a 96 particular composition. 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? My collage palate is old gardening books, sheet music, tissue paper, old envelopes, tags, acrylic paint, charcoal and vintage and found objects. The most exciting part of collage to me is what is left after I rip something off the layers I have created. I love the torn and ragged bits juxtaposed with something untouched. I also like the technical part of finding solutions to attach my vintage findings to the artwork. I use a lot of wire and string along with bookbinders glue and I use acid-free materials as much as possible to counter the acid in the vintage parts. The process of collecting vintage findings is very exciting to me. I love “the hunt” to find the perfect piece! I like that collage gives me the freedom to change my mind and to come back to an artwork months later. In the new pieces I am working on, I’m actually using a paint scraper to produce the desired effect. If I don’t like the result, then I glue or paint something over it and scrape away. My theme in these new pieces is about death, but as a part of the LIFE cycle. I am cutting a shape out of old books and sheet music and then layering them, only to scrape off some areas and paint over others. These shapes represent souls rising to the heavens, each having a story to tell or a song to sing, but still as a part of the “garden”.

Response from Kathrine Lemke Waste Signature Member, American Women Artists Artist and Teacher, Sacramento, California 1. What is the source of your artistic inspiration? For practical reasons, i.e., the size of my studio space (it’s small) and location (backyard) I focus on domestic still life - the contents of which reflects my gardening 97

& cooking interests. Artistically, I’ve been inspired over the years by painters Wayne Thiebaud, Janet Fish and Spanish Still Life painter Luis Melendez 2. Do you experience artist’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? Yes! It usually comes when I get out of sync with a daily painting schedule. Like where I am right now! I just finished painting for a show, and now I’m trying to catch up with all of the other business I’d set aside to paint…and feeling swamped. But if I’m on the computer or working on a non-painting project, it’s hard for me to change my brainwaves and actually paint. I’m not usually at a loss for ideas. My block comes when I don’t stay in synch and paint everyday. 3. Are there any attitudes or practices that help you create artwork? As noted above, half the battle is to get up and go to work in the studio every day. I also try to keep my schedule arranged so that most of my appointments are on Fridays, so my other days aren’t interrupted with “off-site” trips. It seems like such a simple response, but keeping art-making a regular habit is really important. Of course, not everything that gets created hits the target. I’ve learned to accept that as part of the process - I have to make some bad art to get to the good stuff. But the point is to make it on a regular basis. I theorize that it may be harder for women in our culture to do this - because so many other things are expected of us, and because we’ve learned to expect all the other “stuff” from ourselves. “Daybook: Journey of an Artist” by Anne Truitt hits this nail on the head. Beyond keeping regular hours, i.e., habitualizing the making of art, it helps me to spend time with the work of other artists, whether through books or galleries and museums. I spend a lot of time looking at light as it changes over the course of the day. 4. If you do collage, what inspires you about collage as a medium? 98

I like using collage when I teach a class because most people find it very freeing or inspiring. In fact, I used it just this last Saturday in the Abstraction workshop as a way of illustrating the elements of design. We had a very successful day, since it removed the stigma of drawing recognizable shapes or images. I even limited collage materials to old scraps of giftwrap or newspaper. As a result, we ended up with some very creative approaches to composition, and some even more wonderful paintings from mostly beginning students. 99

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