SPECIAL FEATURE

In the early years Bala, queen of abhinaya Bala appeared firm and unapproachable, but later on, from The legendary dancer T. Balasaraswati passed away on the 1970s, she seemed 9th February 1984. NANDINI RAMANI, one of her seniormost to me a very relaxed disciples takes Sruti readers down memory lane. person, who however, he occasion has inspired me to share a few thoughts became emotional at on her in this magazine, in which exactly 23 years times. As she taught ago, Gowri Ramnarayan interviewed me as a prime me, I felt a sense of disciple of the legend (Sruti 5, February 1984). With Bala’s wonder standing in T front of Bala and departure from the scene, the era of unshakeable, deep rooted faith in sampradaya, higher goals of art and utmost watching her flowing submission to the concept of the guru, have withered away. creativity. Seeing She was an inimitable exponent of nritta and the queen me stunned, she of abhinaya. Sangeeta Kalanidhi, Padma Bhushan, Padma always had a word of Vibhushan, Isai Perarignar, Sangeeta Kala Sikhamani, encouragement and Desikottama, these are the many honours my revered said: “Come on, you teacher T. Balasaraswati received in her illustrious career. can do it”. This year marks her 23rd death anniversary. As she taught, she For Bala, her art was her life. Her devotion to her guru could not stem her Kandappa was supreme. Her goal in life was to maintain extensive creativity. Bala her guru’s tradition in all its purity and dignity. She dare Many a time she just not change anything of her guru’s training. She was in indicated the crucial note of a sanchari. “How much awe of him and would not touch a ‘tattukazhi’ saying, or how little I give you should be on one side of your “My mentor is qualified to do so, not me”. Such was her mind. It is up to you to sharpen and polish the ideas”. total reverence for her teacher. Similarly, she had deep Such were the contrasting notes of advice — caution and affection for her teacher’s son, K. Ganesan, who came at the same time a certain liberty extended to the student under Bala’s care as a young boy and started accompanying to explore quietly. Students could not ask or choose her in her performances at a crucial moment in 1958 on items to be learnt from her. We had to accept whatever the instructions of her mother T. Jayammal. she taught. With maturity dawned the realisation that At 57, I look back through the decades of my association her emotional stress grew out of a certain possessiveness with this legend of Bharatanatyam. My father Dr. about her dance tradition. I learnt to cope with the V. Raghavan gave my sister Priyamvada (the first disciple process as it came from her. Probably that is were Bala of Bala at the school run by the Madras Music Academy), and I met with mutual ease and understanding. and me, immense opportunities to come under the wing Although Bala was very much a part of our lives for of this great artist. over three decades, I cherish the years between 1979 I remember seeing Bala when I was three years old. By and 1984, when she became emotionally attached to me, then she, along with Nattuvanar K. Ganesan (Ganesa particularly after my father’s death in April 1979. In the Mama), was already training my sister Priyamvada years that followed, Bala was saddened by disappointments who started learning in 1951. Officially Balasaraswati’s in her personal life and the changes sweeping the Classical Bharatanatyam School was started by The Bharatanatyam scene. I visited the Music Academy Music Academy in 1953. I joined dance classes in 1955. almost every day, and often sat with Bala outside the As a teacher, Balasaraswati appeared stern, but she building that now houses the Teachers’ College of Music. taught in a leisurely manner and did not pressure the With classes going on inside, Bala waited for me and then student to dance according to her expectations. Her began an exchange of information, on a day to day basis. outward appearance and the actual training process were Bala poured her heart out on many occasions, expressing contrasting. I have seen Priyamvada, who was her pet her deep emotions and views on the happenings around student, sitting on her lap in between classes. her. On one such occasion, she was in a sorrowful mood

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both of us to the upkeep of this sampradaya was proof of my father’s deep appreciation of Bala’s art. Many a time, I accompanied my teacher to Kapaleeswara temple in Mylapore after dance class in the evening. Bala’s favourite was the sannidhi of Goddess Durga. As she stood there, looking intensely at Devi, Bala’s face became charged with spiritual fervour. I often wondered if Teacher was having a transcendental experience with the deity. The next evening, the class would begin with that serene experience and Bala would ask me how I had felt “there”. She would describe in admiration the simple red garb of Goddess Durga, the red hibiscus on Her head, the soft, gentle look of her Devi, showering all her Bala (centre) with Priyamvada (R) and little Nandini (L) compassion on her. As Bala taught Trilochana Mohineem and tears were running down her cheeks. I was puzzled a Dikshitar kriti that I was preparing for the special and visibly upset at her plight. Wiping her tears Bala lecdem at the Music Academy’s annual festival marking looked at me and said: “You are a wife and a mother Dikshitar’s Bicentenary (1976), I could see Goddess and now you will be able to understand me much Durga, when the “tall, elegant Bala” stood up to better”. All I could do was to try and console her demonstrate “Chandika”. I watched quietly as I could saying “Teacher, don’t cry, don’t cry”. visualise in her majestic pose, the very form of the deity. At that moment Bala called out to me with her typical Every year from 1972 to 1982, Bala went on a tour of the smile, “Hey, you have been there, haven’t you?” knowing U.S.A., entrusting to me the responsibility of conducting that we had connected our vision of Durga at the temple. the dance classes at the Music Academy during that period. What an elevating experience! Her health started failing in 1983, from when I observed in her an adamant note in her attitude to life — not taking Bala always danced for the gods and that is why her dance her medicines and gradually becoming weaker by the bore such a divine quality. Her art rose to great heights. day. On one occasion, as I sat by her bedside I asked her: While in her early years Bala was masterly in nritta, her “Teacher, why don’t you go to the U.S. for better medical approach to abhinaya grew more intense in her mid-years. care?” She stared at me, although very weak, and made a As she once told me, it was the result of problems in her piercing remark: “Will you send your mother away like orchestral group, especially with Kandappa going away that?” and gestured pointing one finger down to say “This to Almora, and the ensuing changes. Then onwards Bala is my place, this is where I belong”. concentrated on her inherent penchant for abhinaya, which she enlarged and honed to perfection. She arose On another day, Bala made me cry. A stage artist (Komala, like a phoenix, reigning forever supreme as “abhinaya if I remember right), an old friend of Bala, was visiting Saraswati”. her. By then Bala was too weak even to utter sentences. Balasaraswati was as varied in her personal qualities as she She gestured to both of us and asked us if we knew each was in her interpretative skills. Her life at different stages other. Both replied in the negative. She then whispered to was influenced by people around her, bringing forth her Komala that my Akka and I would nurture her art well mixed emotions and reactions, which certainly had a strong (“Nallaa vecchupaanga en kalayai”). It was a memorable impact on us at various points of time in our own lives. But verdict in her last days. Coming from Balasaraswati, what stands out as most important for me is Bala’s utter known for her uncompromising, tough nature as a faith in Priyamvada and me, as her sincere disciples, which teacher, I felt it was a real blessing from a guru that has she demonstrated in so many unspoken words whenever given us the strength, courage and loyalty to continue she felt liberated in her thought and action. Those are the our artistic lives, putting away the varied interpretations soul-filling moments of life for a loyal student. pointed to us, and attempts to distance us from where we belong. It is, of course, a well known fact that my Priyamvada and I were fortunate to have her as our father Dr. V. Raghavan remained a strong pillar of guru — she from 1951 and I from 1955. It was a long support for Bala all his life, and she too had the greatest and memorable association for us with this legend of respect and gratitude for him all her life. Dedicating Bharatanatyam. n

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