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Home , Bar and Bat Mitzvah, Mitzvah

Bar and Bat Resource Guide A Parent’s Resource for and at Olive Tree Congregation

PHILOSOPHY

The ceremony celebrates the God of , Isaac, and —and His creation of the Jewish people. It also demonstrates a child’s appreciation of his/her own . This identity is not chosen by the child or parent but is God-given for His own purposes, and He is glorified when a person acknowledges and embraces it. Therefore, bar and bat mitzvah preparations at Olive Tree Congregation (OTC) help build within Jewish children an understanding of and an appreciation for this identity, from a Messianic Jewish perspective.

Like traditional , OTC identifies with the God of the Scriptures and therefore with the Jewish people. For this reason, we incorporate forms of traditional worship within the bar and bat mitzvah ceremony in a Messianic context.

The bar or bat mitzvah ceremony serves as an opportunity for Jewish children to intentionally identify themselves as part of God’s chosen people. It therefore serves as an important stepping-stone in the Jewish child’s life. For a child who is not yet a Messianic believer and who celebrates a bar or bat mitzvah at OTC, our hope and prayer is that their Jewish identity will eventually find its fullness in a personal faith in Messiah Yeshua.

OTC affirms that both male and female were created in the image of God with equal worth and dignity, yet with distinct roles in the family and within the believing community (Gen 1:27; Num 3; 1 Tim 2:11-15). For this reason, a few expectations will differ for bar and bat in this guide.

As a community of Jews and Gentiles, we support families that want their children who are approaching the teenage years to have a similar ceremony at OTC. It just wouldn’t be called a bar or bat mitzvah, since this is specifically for Jewish youngsters, as explained above. This opportunity is available to member families of the congregation who are actively participating in our community life. Please contact our pastor to discuss the prospect of such a ceremony well-enough in advance, according to the time recommendations suggested directly below. FIRST STEPS

1. Read through this resource guide when your child is approximately eight years of age and decide when you want preparation to begin. This will provide plenty of time to think and pray about your child’s studies. The celebration marks the culmination of an intentional course of Hebrew study, Jewish learning, and gospel familiarization. Therefore, the minimum amount of study time is one year though many begin their preparations years in advance.

2. Decide on the components of your child’s preparation. You may be satisfied with the essential preparations as described below, or you may desire a more in-depth process. For example, if you want your child to have a deeper grasp of , then you will want to consider choosing a program suggested in this resource guide and plan the preparation time accordingly.

3. Schedule an appointment with our pastor to review your desired course of study and to identify a date for the event. The following website suggests the traditional date depending on your child’s date of birth: http://Bar/batmitzvah.chabad.org/calendar/bar-bat- mitzvah_cdo/aid/6227/jewish/BarBat-Mitzvah-Date-Calculator.htm

ESSENTIAL PREPARATION

1. Read/chant the and/or Haftorah portion in Hebrew and English. Be prepared to read from the unpointed Torah text (no vowels). 2. Read/chant the blessings before and after reading the Torah in Hebrew and English. 3. Read the B’rit Chadasha portion in English. 4. Read/chant liturgy in Hebrew and English (boys only). 5. Write and read brief introductions to the Torah, and B’rit Chadasha portions. 6. Write and give a speech (d’rash) to the congregation. This is a discipleship opportunity for parents to work with their child. 7. Read/chant the Shema and V’ahavta (traditional and abbreviated versions). 8. Brief introductions and d’rash should be submitted to the pastor around three weeks in advance to allow time for editing.

PREPARING THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SPEECH

A suggested outline for the speech appears later in this resource guide.

For bar mitzvah boys, the speech will include the following:

1. an expression of thanks to family members, teachers/mentors, congregation, and guests; 2. a summary of the Torah, Haftarah, and B’rit Hadasha portions with a theme that connects them together; 3. a personal application of the text to his own life and its relevance to the larger community; and 4. a reflection on how becoming a bar mitzvah impacts his own Jewish identity. If the boy is a believer in Messiah Yeshua, this reflection will also include what it means to him to be a Jewish believer.

For bat mitzvah , the speech will include the following:

1. an expression of thanks to family members, teachers/mentors, congregation, and guests; 2. a summary of the Torah, Haftarah, and B’rit Hadasha portions with a theme that connects them together; 3. a personal application of the text to her own life; and 4. a reflection on how becoming a bat mitzvah impacts her own Jewish identity. If the is a believer in Messiah Yeshua, this reflection will also include what it means to her to be a Jewish believer.

THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SPEECH OUTLINE

The following is a suggested organizational structure for the speech. The speech needs to include all the content in the outline, but it can be organized differently. For example, the speech needs to include a common theme that runs through all three of the Scripture portions. But Paragraph 2 might include only a summary of the Torah portion and Paragraph 3 might include the theme. Or the theme might be stated first, followed by a portion summary.

We suggest that a parent, guardian, or someone else in the community help the bar mitzvah boy or girl write the speech. If you have any questions or difficulties, including difficulty in understanding any or all of your portions, please ask our pastor for any help or guidance. Each section may be only a paragraph in length. It is often helpful to record one’s ideas while processing verbally and then capture these thoughts in writing.

Section 1 Provide a brief introduction including expressions of thanks to parents, family members, teachers/mentors, congregation, and guests.

Section 2 You can use exactly what’s written below, or you can say the same thing in your own words:

Every , people in synagogues all over the world read a , called the parasha, and during the course of a year the entire scroll is read: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. Along with each parasha, people in synagogues also read the corresponding Haftarah portion from the prophetic books of the Hebrew Scriptures. In Messianic congregations around the world a corresponding portion from the Scriptures, or B’rit Chadasha, is also read. All three portions are read together because they are linked by a common theme which illustrates the unity of the Scriptures.

At the end of this section, state a common theme that runs through all three portions. This will serve as your transition into the next section.

Section 3 Include in this section the Scripture reference to your Torah portion. Then give a summary of its content and tell how it connects to the theme.

Section 4 Include in the next section the Scripture RESOURCES FOR GENTILE FAMILIES reference to your Haftarah portion. Then give a summary of its content and tell how it OTC encourages all of its members to connects to the theme. value their personal relationship with Messiah in light of God’s promises to Section 5 Israel. A ceremony Include in this section the Scripture reference similar to a bar/bat mitzvah is one way to your B’rit Chadasha portion. Then give a for a Gentile family to instill this value in summary of its content and tell how it connects to the theme. their children. While a bar/bat mitzvah ceremony acknowledges a child’s Section 6 Jewish identity, a similar ceremony Explain how the theme of all three portions is would acknowledge a child’s identity as relevant in your life personally. Draw on one a Gentile in God’s redemptive plan. God or more of the following: something personal loves Jews and Gentiles equally, and such as your home life or school life, a current OTC celebrates this reality by affirming event in the news, a social issue, or these God-given -Gentile something else that is important to you. Bar distinctions in His redemptive plan. Mitzvah boys will also extend this application Gentile children are welcome to prepare to the larger community. a speech that includes the same requirements for boys and girls outlined Write a transition at the end of section 6 that in this document. The only difference is connects it to the next paragraph. This can be that since Gentile candidates are not as short as one sentence. Jewish, the speech will include an explanation of why this event is Section 7 personally relevant and meaningful to Explain why your bar/bat mitzvah is them as Gentiles. meaningful to you. Include what it means for you to be Jewish. If you are a believer in Yeshua, explain what it means for you to be a Jewish believer.

At the end of section 7 write a transition that connects it to the next paragraph.

Section 8 Write any other concluding comments you would like to make. It could be as simple as thanking those in attendance for sharing this special day with you.

PLANNING THE CELEBRATION

1. Alert close family and friends of the date of your celebration as far in advance as possible. 2. Establish a guest list and how you want to invite them. 3. Consider honoring a close family member or friend with one or more (calling them to the bema). 4. If planning the event to coordinate with a congregational oneg, coordinate with the OTC Hospitality Team regarding special requests, extra guests, and financial arrangements. 5. If planning a or reception off-site, book the venue well in advance. A bar/bat mitzvah, like a wedding, can be simple or elaborate. 6. Consider choosing a theme if there will be a reception. 7. In spite of all that may go into planning the celebration, OTC encourages families to focus on the ceremony more than the celebration—more mitzvah than bar! Your congregational family wants to celebrate with you about the meaning of this event, not the menu.

GENERAL RESOURCES

“The Messianic Bar Mitzvah,” by Stephen Katz

The OTC office has a file that includes examples of programs to distribute to your guests.

RESOURCES FOR JEWISH LEARNING

Jewish Culture

• Attend someone else’s bar/bat mitzvah.

• Attend a traditional service, perhaps during a bar/bat mitzvah.

• Visit a holocaust memorial museum.

• Interview three people about their bar/bat mitzvah experiences (parents, grandparent, relative, or friend).

• Read someone else’s bar/bat mitzvah speech. Books

• Hayim Donin, To Be A Jew. Guide to the traditional Jewish laws and customs as they apply to daily life in the contemporary world • Chaim Potok, The Chosen. This is a story of friendship, a friendship that is formed between two Jewish boys (of difference sects) under the most unusual circumstances. • Alfred P. Kolatch, The Jewish Book of Why. Volumes One and Two. A complete, concise, fascinating, and thoroughly informative guide to Jewish life and tradition.

Movies (parental discretion about their appropriateness for your child is assumed)

• Fiddler on the Roof. This classic movie depicts Jewish life in a Russian shtetl in the late 1800s. • Masterpiece Theatre: The Diary of Anne Frank. The first true and authentic account of life in hiding under Nazi terror during World War II from the unique perspective of a teenage Jewish girl. • Life Is Beautiful. Sent to a concentration camp with his son in World War II, an Italian Jew shields his son from Nazi horrors.

Creative Projects

• Make • Make a Challah Cover • Make a Tash (Here’s another example.) • Make a Menorah

Service Projects

“One should use one’s face, hands, and feet to honor one’s Creator.” ( Brachot 4:1) • Volunteer at a Jewish nursing home • Find a creative way to communicate the gospel in a Jewish way to your friends/classmates • Address a social issue relevant to the Jewish community (e.g. anti-semitism, poverty among the aging) • Participate in the March for Israel • Raise funds for a worthy Jewish charity (e.g., Israeli pro-life organization Be’ad Chaim) • Volunteer with an OTC ministry team

Learning About the Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith

• Arnold G. Fruchtenbaum, The Remnant of Israel: The History, Theology, and Philosophy of the Messianic Jewish Community, 2011. An update on the growing and diversifying community of Jews who have found favor with God by receiving Jesus as Messiah • Barney Kasdan, God’s Appointed Times New Edition: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Celebrating the Biblical Holidays, 2007. A guide for Christians and Jewish believers in Yeshua. • A resource for learning Biblical Hebrew (bIblicalhebrew.com)

PREPARING YOUR CHILD TO BE A GODLY TEEN AND

• Suggestions for Parents Booklet (available in the OTC sanctuary and online) • Nizkor Booklet (available in the OTC sanctuary)

Articles on the Internet

• “How I Helped My Boys to Become Christian Men,” by Vern S. Poythress, Ph.D., Th.D. • “Raising a Modern Day Knight” by Robert Lewis

Books Recommended By OTC Parents

You can find all of the listed books in the OTC Library.

• Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood by Robert Lewis. According to Amazon.com, this book will help you “confidently guide your son to . . . biblical manhood. . . This resource is as insightful as it is practical in raising a boy to be a . . godly man.”

• Beautiful Girlhood by M. Hale and revised by Karen Andreola According to Amazon.com, “The book deals primarily with the Christian character development, moral virtues and manners of pre-teen and teenage girls. It is one of the best-selling titles in the homeschooling community.”

• Thoughts for Young Men by J. C. Ryle. This book speaks to the heart regarding what it means to live a life unto the Lord. The publisher offers a study guide that accompanies the book. Though the title addresses young men, this book is relevant to everyone in the family.

• The Bar/bat mitzvah Planbook by Jane Lewit and Ellen Epstein.

CDs in the OTC Library

• What’s A Girl to Do: How to Wisely Invest Your Daughter’s Time

OTHER IMPORTANT WAYS TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD

Participating in Jewish Life

We believe that the best way to have your child participate in Jewish life is to have him or her attend Shabbat services at OTC each week and Shabbat School afterwards. It is also important for your child to attend additional congregational events on , such as the High Holy Day Services, the special evening and Simchat Torah services, the carnival, the OTC Seder (and/or a home Seder), and the OTC evening service. In the home it could be of value to light Shabbat candles on Friday nights and to treat the entire Shabbat—from Sundown on Friday to Sundown on Saturday, as special.

There’s a traditional ceremony that concludes Shabbat called a Service. Lighting the Hanukkah candles on each night of the holiday and giving gifts, eating special Hanukkah foods and playing is also of value and delightful. Though participating in Jewish traditions like these can serve to build a child’s Jewish identity, participation should never be seen as ways to earn God’s merit. That has already been done for us. A person who has placed their faith and trust in Yeshua’s sacrificial death has already received God’s complete and total merit.

Service Opportunities that Nurture Maturity and Growth

• Participating at home in the “Counting the Omer” prayers • Tithing regularly at OTC by giving a portion of allowance and other earnings and monetary gifts. Scripture suggests 10% • Going through the OTC High Holy Day Devotional • Serving at an OTC Purim Carnival booth

400 N. Elmhurst Road Prospect Heights, IL 60070 847-222-1230 www.olive-tree.org