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It Was My Desire to Reduce the Fear and Sense of Isolation Associated With

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It Was My Desire to Reduce the Fear and Sense of Isolation Associated With GLIMPSES By Artist Paul D Robertson – www.pauldrobertson.com A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness GLIMPSES: A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness - 2 Foreword This series of works about mental illnesses are an illuminating insight into the life of those with a mental illness. The personal experiences depicted within are an excellent example of the reasons why we should publish them. Stories of hallucinations, standing on top of cars wondering what it is all about, are the deep seated feelings that have to be expressed publicly by those with a mental illness because if they are not people don‘t know what it is like. Mental illness is no different from any other illness. It has symptoms and it can be treated and managed. The difference is the mind is altered, changed to not think within the normal paradigms that exist in our society. Strange behaviour it treated as strange rather than as an illness. Many people in our society suffer or are affected by mental illness. More than people realise. Unless people tell their story, the truth of the suffering and experiences will never be known. We cannot let the story be told by those who haven‘t had the experience. We cannot let it be left to those in the media or government. They have to come from the people who know like the ones who have told their stories here. Assoc. Prof. Neil Cole Alfred Psychiatry Research Centre Bipolar Survivor Playwright GLIMPSES © 2007 For permission to use the content of this manuscript please contact Nicci Wall at [email protected] or fax +61 3 5222 6847 GLIMPSES: A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness - 3 Index Page 4 Introduction 5 Georgia Van Cuylenberg‘s Story Anorexia Nervosa Consumer 10 Nicci Wall‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 22 Michael Francis‘ Story Bipolar Consumer 27 For the Love Of Rob Depression (Suicide) Carer 30 Janelle Reeve‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 36 Ian Reeve‘s Story Bipolar Carer 39 Claire‘s Story Bipolar (Suicide) Carer 42 Andrew‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 65 Sandy Jeff‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 74 Paul Robertson‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 83 Janet Duffus‘ Story Anorexia Nervosa Consumer 87 Nathan Bell‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 93 Black Swan‘s Story PTSD & Bipolar Consumer 100 Michael Nanai‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 106 David Guthrie‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 108 Evan Bichara‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 111 Ingrid Hindell‗s Story Depression Consumer 118 Craig Hamilton‘s Story Bipolar & Depression Consumer 120 Yvette Geljon‘s Story Borderline Personality Consumer 122 Sylvia Zuzowska‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 124 Lizzie‘s Story Schizoeffective/Bipolar Consumer 128 Darren Dorey‘s Story Depression Consumer 133 William Tyler‘s Story Consumer 136 Barbara Doogue‘s Story Depression & PTSD Consumer 139 Richard McLean Schizophrenia Consumer 144 Russell Mile‘s Story Depression Consumer 147 Ela Simon‘s Story Bipolar Carer 157 Natasha Simon‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 161 Kiri Dicken‘s Story Anxiety Consumer 165 Anonymous Story Bipolar Consumer 167 Paul‘s ECT Diary Bipolar Consumer 174 Vicki‘s Story Depression Consumer 175 Samantha J‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 185 Greg Battin‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 188 BlueSkyLady Bipolar Consumer 193 Bevan Sallaway‘s Story Bipolar Consumer 196 Anon Depression Consumer 198 Jan Hackney‘s Story Anxiety Consumer 200 Ben‘s Story Anorexia Nervosa Consumer 204 Bevan Sallaway‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 207 Courtney‘s Story Obsessive Compulsive Consumer 212 Christopher Pescud‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 216 DH‘s Story Depression Consumer 221 Anon Anorexia Nervosa Carer 227 Jean Winter‘s Story Bipolar Carer 232 Julie D‘s Story Anxiety & PTSD Consumer 238 Kelly Dunn‘s Story Psychosis Consumer 256 Raija‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 260 Anon Anorexia Nervosa Carer 268 Carmen‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 278 Geoff Allen‘s Story Schizophrenia Consumer 284 RJPW‘s Story Consumer 291 Joanna‘s Story BPD Consumer 297 Useful Contacts Youth Consumers & Carers 298 Useful Contacts Consumers 303 Useful Contacts Carers GLIMPSES © 2007 For permission to use the content of this manuscript please contact Nicci Wall at [email protected] or fax +61 3 5222 6847 GLIMPSES: A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness - 4 Introduction Since I was diagnosed as having Bipolar Affective Disorder in November 2001 I have had the good fortune to meet and work with a multitude of people who have a mental illness. These people are far from the stereotypical mentally ill portrayed by the media and sensationalised in film. These people work, own businesses, run companies, are highly trained and/or qualified, exceptional artists, volunteers; they raise families, socialise and all the other things so called ‗normal‘ people do. For that is what we are, ‗normal‘ people, with a treatable, but not curable illness; similar to other illnesses caused by a chemical imbalance such as Diabetes, Hypertension and Hyper/Hypo-Thyroidism. It was through my desire to reduce the fear and sense of isolation associated with diagnosis for sufferers and their loved ones, as well as increasing awareness and reducing stigma surrounding mental illness, that the goal of producing an uncensored and accurate glimpse into the lives of those with a mental illness was put into action. All who have contributed to this book did so in hope that their story will help others with a mental illness, their families and friends, by benefiting from the ‗real life experiences‘, encouraging better communication and acceptance of mental illness within their immediate circle; most of all recognising that they are not alone in this endless struggle. Some contributions were written in the midst of an ‗episode‘ where the writers perception is askew and their ability to articulate their thoughts are diminished, disjointed and inconsistent; therefore their stories may seem hard to understand or follow due to the irregular thought patterns. Where this occurs, I ask that you do not try to understand at the time of reading but take on board that what is being shared, accurately reflects what the person is experiencing at that point in time. There are far more people with a diagnosed mental illness than is acknowledged in society and I would not be exaggerating if I said every third person I speak with has a relative or friend with a mental illness. With many of us choosing to ‗come out‘, society will learn of the many positive contributions we make to society and this will inturn reduce the stigma surrounding mental illnesses. There are some wonderful books available to increase understanding of the manifestations of these illnesses. These are of particular importance to families and friends of those with a mental illness. Knowing the danger signs as they begin to appear can be the difference between a full-blown episode and a little bump on the charts. But more importantly, they assist our ability to recognise the signs leading up to a suicide attempt. If you know where to look, support networks are available to assist or refer you to other appropriate organisations/groups and many have recommended reading lists. For your benefit the larger organisations are listed at the back of the book, so that you do not encounter the circular attempts to find assistance as I, and many others have encountered when first diagnosed. If you would like to tell your story to help increase awareness send it to c/o 43 Browallia Dr Rose Park 3214, fax 03 5222 6847 or [email protected], the more people we can touch with our stories, the better. I wish you well on your path to insight, education and recovery. Nicci Wall GLIMPSES © 2007 For permission to use the content of this manuscript please contact Nicci Wall at [email protected] or fax +61 3 5222 6847 GLIMPSES: A compilation of uncensored real life experiences with Mental Illness - 5 Georgia’s Story I was diagnosed - if you could call it that - as having an eating disorder in 1996 when I was 14 years old and in year 9. This meant I had to get weighed every week and my parents got me to see a psychiatrist immediately. I dreaded both these visits every week - I felt like I was up for judgment and assessment and that - in hindsight - was very damaging on my mental state and perception of myself. In the following years this diagnosis progressed to anorexia nervosa. I never ever learnt to like the medical visits but my sessions with my psychiatrist became a safe haven as I looked to him for an answer and the help, which I now know he would never be able to give me. Today I would consider my diagnosis to be that I suffer from disordered eating but no longer possess the anorexic demons that can manifest into seriously harmful behaviour. I learnt to identify every part of me that was associated to my mental illness, every activity that was encased in those horrible feelings of ' this is not the true me' I wrote them down and one by one I removed them from myself. My eating habits no longer affect how I live my days, they do not rule my decisions about where to go, who to see, what to wear etc, although on days when I am not my strongest they do attempt to have a say in these choices. I now make sure everyday is full of 'things' so that my eating is just a minute factor and I am looking forward to the day when I won't even have to worry about my reflection and what thoughts it may stir in me if I see the 'wrong' thing.
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