Issue 32 // 24 Elul 5781 // Sep 01, 2021

In the Inner Sanctum: A SHOFAR ON THE SEASHORE A rare peek with YOMIM NORAIM WITH amazing lessons from THE MAGGID RABBI PAYSACH Rabbi KROHN THE TALIBAN ARE BACK! AFTER NEARLY TWO YAAKOV DECADES OF WAR IN AFGHANISTAN MEIR SHECHTER

For the Chafetz Chaim’s 88th yahrzeit A rare interview about him with his close talmid the Ponevezher Rav Issue 32 // 24 Elul 5781 // Sep 01, 2021

Issue 32 // 24 Elul 5781 // Sep 01, 2021

In the Inner Sanctum: A SHOFAR ON THE SEASHORE A rare peek with YOMIM NORAIM WITH amazing lessons from THE MAGGID RABBI PAYSACH KROHN Table of Rabbi THE TALIBAN ARE BACK! AFTER NEARLY TWO YAAKOV DECADES OF WAR IN AFGHANISTAN MEIR SHECHTER Contents

For the Chafetz Chaim’s 88th yahrzeit A rare interview about him with his close talmid the Ponevezher Rav

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© Kehiloth Magazine. Published by 12. Rabbi Paysach Krohn Kehiloth Magazine Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in printed or digital form in whole or in part in any form without 14. Weekly Review prior written permission is prohibited. The publisher reserves all right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial 42. Down to Business sensitivities. Submissions cannot be returned to sender. Kehiloth Magazine is not responsible for the cash flow of any 45. Women's Pages advertised product or service that appears in these pages. Kehiloth Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles 57. Kehiloth Kids or advertisements in this publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. 2 24 Elul 5781 בס"ד ועד הכשרות דליקוואוד נ. דז. Kashrus Council of Lakewood, NJ 206 5th Street, Lakewood, NJ 08701 732-901-1888 [email protected]

בית דין הרב אשר חיים ליברמן הרב גבריאל פינקל הרב יעקב פארכהיימער הרב שמואל מאיר כ"ץ Pas Yisroel Reminder for עשרת ימי תשובה

זמנים The Shulchan Aruch writes that even those that are not careful to eat only Pas Yisroel all year everyone should be careful to eat only Pas Yisroel עשרת ימי תשובה round, nevertheless, during לפרשת .products PRE-SUKKOS SALE! SALE ENDS SEPTEMBER 12 נצבים ,Included in this stringency to only eat Pas Yisroel, would be all types of breads, cakes the five types of ,חמשת המינים cookies, pretzels and crackers that are made from the grain.

כניסת שבת: The KCL and other “heimishe” hashgochos are makpid on Pas Yisroel all year round. The national hashgochos 7:07 are generally not makpid on Pas Yisroel unless it is expressly marked as such on the product. שקיעה: 7:23

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מי כעמך ישראל - Generous Giving

s the days draw who come to our door with a pitiful close to Rosh story. There are the big Tzedaka Hashana, when funds, the Yeshivas and Kollels, the we all hope to chessed and welfare organizations, be inscribed and the gemachs, the kiruv organizations sealedA for a happy new year, a and the institutions of the Teshuva year of success and joy, every movement, support groups and Jew is looking for more and institutions for the mentally ill and more zchuyos for the impending so many other worthy causes. These Although these days our mailboxes are full with Yom Hadin. It is especially various prospectuses and fliers, heartwarming to see how much are not necessarily with descriptions of organizations the Jewish people trust in the people with extra doing holy work and of individual words of the Holy Chazal “Tshuva, cash lying around, heartbreaking situations and troubles Tefila and Tzedaka remove the they give more of Am Yisroel. evil of the decree”, our people are Boruch Hashem, we are a generous busy improving our ways, putting than their means community and genuine needs are more effort in our davening; and to help and assist met and relief is offered to the poor in most visibly -giving generously to others in need day-to-day support structures. the many charitable causes asking This fact is especially important for our support. with the advent of a particularly We are expected to help another Jew Indeed, professional assessments challenging year which affected wherever he may be and at this time of conducted in the past have shown so many families in the face of the year the Jewish people is bombarded that the rate of charitable giving in terrible corona pandemic which hit with numerous requests to assist observant Jewish communities is many individuals and businesses and, others. We are asked to support yet far greater than what is observed in some cases, the devastating result another Torah institution, chessed elsewhere. Although these are not meant the loss of quite a few sources organization, give for health crisis necessarily people with extra cash of livelihood. support, families in distress or a lying around, they give more than There is no doubt that this wonderful difficult case of someone in need of a their means to help and assist others in communal support system is one of yeshua, we get asked for money and need. This is of course besides for the many of the unique virtues of the we give willingly. Despite our own customary maaser gelt -the ten percent Jewish community, a virtue that stands difficulties, despite the numerous of our regular monthly income which out even amongst generous and giving aggravations that surround many a is immediately set aside for charity, cultures. Jew, in addition to all the personal, and we find ourselves giving more in May Hashem Yisborach bless us with family and private obligations, each the numerous appeals which come the great zechus of Tzedaka in our Jew deducts a further amount from his our way as the needs arise. communities, that all of klal Yisroel personal budget, transfers funds from Money is donated to countless causes, should be inscribed and sealed in the savings and other accounts to be able to poor families in our immediate book of Tzadikim Gmurim and that any אמן כן ,to give more, and thus he gracefully community, for cases which we know evil decrees should be annulled .יהי רצון fulfills the mitzva of Tzedaka. about personally and likewise to those

6 24 Elul 5781 Jewish Perspective

להספיק גם מתוך אוצרותיו של ברגעים האחרונים הגה"צ רבי שמעלקא בידרמן שליט"א fianltouchny.com

נחנו מתקדמים במהירות לימי ולהגיש במו ידיו את הגביע שיצר. הצורף נבוא, מה נביא לפניו? עמלים אנו בכל כוחנו הדין הגדולים, ומטבעם של התפכח. הביט בגביע - ובוש בו. מק"ג זהב לשפר מעשים, למרקם, להדרם. דברים כל יהודי שואל עצמו ממש - זהו הגביע שיצר?! וכל היהלומים שקיבל, ללמוד עוד שעה, להתפלל ביתר כוונה. ודאי, בימים אלו מה נדרש ממנו בימים היכן הם? ובכלל, האם זהו הגביע שביכולתו לא נוכל למלא את החסר, לא נוכל להשלים אלו - א "הימים הנוראים"? האם נוכל באמת ליצור?! האם לשם כך קראוהו ובחרו בו?! שנה שלימה בחודש ימים. אבל נוכל להביא בזמן הקצר שעוד נותר לנו לתקן את מה האם זאת יגיש למלך, גביע פשוט ועלוב?! את המעט - טוב יותר, נאה יותר, נושא חן שפגמנו בכל השנה כולה? היצר הרע מכניס ואז ידע. עוד שלושים יום לפניו. הזהב שמכר וחסד. ואז נוכל לבקש רחמים על החסר, בליבנו מחשבות פסולות לפיהן, הדבר בלתי - איננו. היהלומים שמעל בהם - אינם עוד על המעילה... והגביע הקטן, המגולף בחן, אפשרי, ולכן רבים מאיתנו נוטים להתייאש ברשותו. אבל הגביע, קטן ככל שהוא, הריהו בתשומת לב, הממורק עד ברק, יישא חן מראש. לפניו. כל כך, עד שהמלך יחון אותנו, ויברך אותנו המגיד מדובנא זצ"ל כדרכו מנסה ללמדנו הוא שם לילות כימים כדי לעצב את הגביע, בשנה טובה. כיצד לנהוג על פי משל: משל לצורף זהב, ליפותו, לגלף בו פיתוחי חותם נאים, שושנים בימים האחרונים שעוד נותרו ננצל אפוא כל שנקרא לארמון המלך. "שמעתי", אמר לו ופרחים, עלים ואשכולות, סנסנים וניצנים. שעה אפשרית להוסיף עוד מצוות למאזן, המלך, "שאומן אתה במלאכתך. מבקש אני, לעשותו יפה, נאה ומרהיב עין. גביע שאין לשפר אותו ולהיטיב אותו. שתגייס את כל כישוריך ליצור עבורי גביע - כמותו, שהמלך ישמח בו ויתפאר בו, יראהו הזמן אמנם דוחק, הימים הולכים ומתקרבים רצוני שיהיה זה הגביע היפה ביותר, המרהיב לכולם ויתגאה בו. הוא טרח ויגע, ניצל את בצעדי ענק, אבל כל מצווה נוספת יכולה ביותר שביכולתך לעצב". כל כישרונו והקדיש את כל זמנו. עד לרגע STEP IN להכריע את הכף, לחסוך המון עוגמת נפש Just נצצו עיניו של הצורף, הרי זה אתגר חייו - האחרון עמל. הוסיף עוד זלזל, עוד סנסן, בשנה הבאה, ייסורים וצרות, חלילה. עבירה & ושכרו בצידו! נענה ואמר: "אבקש שהות של עוד קישוט מרהיב עין. ובדרכו אל המלך אחת פחות - וכל המאזן ישתנה! בזמן שעוד שנה שלימה. אזדקק לק"ג זהב טהור, שלוש מירק את הגביע, עד היות לו ברק מסנוור. נותר לנו נעשה כמעשה אותו צורף, נעמול מאות יהלומים מקראט ומעלה, אבני אודם, וכשהושיט את הגביע, השמיעו הכל קריאת במהירות ונשלים את החסר! פטדה נופך וספיר. זאת מלבד המשכורת - התפעלות רמה: גביע כזה טרם נראה! STEP OUT נחטוף עוד מצווה, עוד זהירות מעבירה, עוד מאה זהובים לחודש!" הכל אושר ברוחב ואז נטל שר האוצר את הגביע ושקלו, יד. הזהב, היהלומים, האבנים היקרות, ואף והנה חסר בו זהב. התבונן בו, ושאל: היכן ברכה בכוונה, עוד נצירת לשון מדיבור אסור, in elegance הקצבה מידי חודש בחודשו. והוא יצר את היהלומים. זו מעילה באוצר המדינה! באמון עוד שעת לימוד תורה, ובזה נוכל בסייעתא הגביע, אבל לא השקיע בו את כל יכולתו, לא המלך! החוויר האומן וביקש רחמים. התחנן, דשמיא לתקן ככל שניתן את המעוות מיצה בו את כישרונותיו. משכורתו הנדיבה שבזכות קורת הרוח שגרם למלך, בזכות ולהצטדק לפני בורא עולם. Our beautiful store was built with you in mind, giving you a shoe אפשרה לו חיי רווחה, והוא נפנה לבילויי עמלו על הגביע הקטן הזה, יסלח לו על על אף שנותר זמן מועט לא נתייאש חלילה shopping experience like never before. With our wide selection of תענוגות ומותרות. קלות דעתו, על הזנחתו - ואין הוא מבקש מלתקן את הפגום. למרות שהיצר הרע מנסה men’s shoes, topped o with the best fast and reliable hands on רמת חייו עלתה, והוא נזקק לכספים נוספים. אלא סיכוי נוסף. שתינתן לו שנה נוספת. להחלישנו מלתקן ולשפר דרכנו בטענות .service, Scarpé will walk with you step by step מה עשה? מכר חלק מן הזהב, שהוקצה יוקצו עוד זהב ויהלומים, ומשכורת. ואז, שונות ומשונות שהמרכזית שבהן ''שכבר לגביע המלך. מכר יהלום ועוד יהלום, מכר גביע קטן זה הוא דוגמא ממה שהוא מתחייב מאוחר ואין באפשרותנו לתקן את אשר פנינים וזהב, ובילה בטוב ובנעימים. התהולל, להציג בשנה הבאה. קלקלנו,, נתגבר על הכל, נתנער מעפרנו, ומפעם לפעם כאשר נזכר, היה מקדיש שעה זו, אומר המגיד מדובנא, עבודת חודש נחלץ חושים ונשוב אל אבינו אוהבנו לגביע. אבל עבד בו כלאחר יד, ברשלנות, אלול. עבודת יום הכיפורים וראש השנה. בתשובה שלמה ובקבלה טובה לעתיד, STORE HOURS ושב לתענוגותיו. בחודש אלול אנו משפצים את עבודת השנה ובע"ה נזכה כולנו לגזירות טובות, שנה טובה Sunday: 11:00 - 6:30 Wednesday: 11:00 - 8:00 Monday 11:00 - 7:00 ursday: 11:00 - 7:00 ואז קיבל מברק מארמון המלוכה. הזכירו, החולפת ככל יכולתנו, הן נצטרך להגישה אל ומבורכת, שנת גאולה וישועה, שנה בה Tuesday: 11:00 - 7:00 Friday: 10:30- 1:30 כי בעוד חודש ימים עליו להתייצב בארמון, המלך, לבוא לפניו עם מעשינו. באלו פנים ישמע רק ששון ושמחה.

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8 24 Elul 5781 Rosh Hashana, early morning. A still silence The Ba'al Tokeah rehearses his soulful kavanos, hoping floats in the air, the dawn’s rays reflecting hope to reach the depths of every heart. Mothers whisper their for a good year while warm wishes of ‘K’siva fervent tefillos as young children clutch sweet candy V’chasima Tova’ are exchanged. and quietly sing the songs they learned in cheder.

You feel the Shechina in the air and the joy With anticipation in every step, hundreds of Yidden of Hiddur Mitzvah in your heart as you approach fill the streets, streaming towards Shul to hear the to crown your Father, your King. 1-888-68-KETER · KETERJUDAICA.COM rousing sounds of Tekias Shofar.

10 17 Elul 5781 Aug 25, 2021 11 RABBI PAYSACH KROHN A Shofar on the Seashore

On a trip to Hungary, Austria, and said. the surprise of those standing around, Prague, Mrs. Leah Eisgrau told me “That’s beautiful!” Nachman blew the tekios. When he finished, the following beautiful story. There is responded, elated. “Just how did it Nati thanked him. great practical wisdom in this story happen?” he asked, unable to contain As they shook hands, the man said, as it was interpreted by Rabbi Chaim his curiosity. “My name is Moshe Katz.” Kanievsky of Bnei Brak. “It’s a long story,” said Nati, smiling, Nati thought fleetingly, Who cares Nachman Greer* was a successful “but I am happy to tell it to you,” he what his name is? I really have no businessman who moved from New said. “It started two years ago ….” connection to him. York to Israel in 2001 would come Two years earlier, Nati and Zehava “It’s nice to have met you,” Mr. Katz to America every few years on were sitting on their porch on a hot continued. “I am a member of the business; while in the States, he would afternoon when they noticed a group Anshei Emunah* synagogue, and I’m sometimes visit his non-religious of well-dressed men and women the baal tokei’a who blows the shofar Israeli cousin, Nati,* who had moved going toward the water. That seemed there. If you ever need me, feel free to the rabbi of Anshei Emunah. Slowly Rav Chaim’s answer gives us an insight back to You, and [then] we shall return his family from Israel to Miami. strange; swimmers didn’t dress that contact me in the shul.” but steadily, he guided them toward to the successful teshuvah process. (Eichah 5:21). Nati* and his wife Zehava* knew that way. And then it hit him: It was Rosh As Nati turned to leave, the gentleman authentic Yiddishkeit …. “Hashem wants someone to take When we approach Elul and the Nachman would not eat in their home, Hashanah and the men were going to said again, “And don’t forget, my name Nati smiled and ended his story with, the first step, and then He will assist Ten Days of Repentance, we should so they would either go to one of the say Tashlich. Nati remembered that he is Moshe Katz.” “And that’s where we are today.” him. Once your cousin went to say remember that as much as Hashem many kosher restaurants in Miami or had gone to Tashlich occasionally as a Nati returned home and told Zehava Nachman was overjoyed by the Tashlich, there was a commitment of wants us to do teshuvah and crave His Nati would order food from a kosher child, but he hadn’t done so in years. what had occurred. He concluded, incident. He told it to many people, and sorts, so then Hashem brought him the guidance, we must take the first step, takeout and they would dine on paper For some reason — Nati himself was “And then this fellow offers to blow the when he returned to Israel, he shared or plastic dishes. not sure why — he decided to put on shofar for me, and he tells me his name baal tokei’a, leading to his way back.” even a small one. Only then will we be the story with Rav Chaim Kanievsky פִּתְחוּ לִי ,One year when Nachman was visiting his kippah and follow the people to is Moshe Katz — as if I cared.” ** rewarded. For as Chazal teach and asked a question that had been פִּ תְחוּ לִי פֶּתַח אֶחָד שֶׁ ל תְּ שׁ וּבָה כְּ ֻ חדָּ הּ שֶׁ ל מַחַט, his cousins, he was surprised to see the shore. As he stood with the crowd “What did you say his name was?” his Rav Chaim’s insight brings to mind puzzling him. וַאֲנִי פּוֹתֵחַ לָכֶם פְּ תָחִים שֶׁ ִיּהְיוּ עֲגָלוֹת וּקְרוֹנִיּוֹת .Nati wearing a yarmulke that seemed near the water, someone offered him a wife exclaimed. a Midrash that supports his opinion “Isn’t the story incredible?” Nachman to rest on his head naturally. In other machzor and asked if he would like to The Midrash Rabbah (Eichah 5:21) Hashem says], “Open for Me] ,נִכְנָסוֹת בּוֹ .Moshe Katz. Why?” Nati replied. began“ years it had been quite obvious that recite the appropriate prayer. He took relates that there is a constant dispute, Zehava’s face turned white as she said “It is not surprising,” said Rav Chaim. a door the size of the eye of a needle so to speak, between Hashem and the Nati had just put on the yarmulke only the machzor and recited Tashlich. softly, “My grandfather was Moshe “Hashem orchestrates such miracles and I will open for you an aperture [so שׁוּב ,Jewish nation. Hashem insists as a courtesy to Nachman, but this time When Nati finished, one of the men Katz! He lived in Bialystok and he every day.” large] that you will be able to bring in Return to Me and cows and chariots” (Midrash Rabbah ,וּ אֵלַי וְאָשׁוּבָה אֲלֵיכֶם it seemed to be real.. Nachman also asked if he had heard the shofar- was the Bialystoker baal tokei’a. I can’t “Yes,” said Nachman, “but if Hashem noticed mezuzos on all the doorposts blowing that day. Nati said that he believe that a man named Moshe Katz wanted Nati and Zehava to become (then) I will return to you (Malachi 3:7). Shir HaShirim 5:2). and even a sefer on the dining-room hadn’t. “Would you like me to blow blew the shofar for you.” religious, why didn’t He send Moshe However, the Jewish nation responds, May every shofar sound indeed .First] bring us awaken us to this calling] ,ה ֲ שִׁ יבֵנוּ . . . אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה ”?table. the shofar for you?” the man asked. “I Nati and Zehava were deeply touched Katz into their lives years earlier “Have there been some changes?” happen to have one with me.” by this “coincidence”; instinctively asked Nachman cautiously. “That would be nice” replied Nati. they felt this had been orchestrated From the new book YOMIM NORAIM WITH THE MAGGID by RABBI “We became religious,” Nati proudly The man took his small shofar and, to by Heaven. After Yom Tov they visited PAYSACH KROHN and it is reprinted with permission from Artscroll/Mesorah

12 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 13 Weekly Review Yosef Avraham Less Than Thirty Days to save Reb Avrohom Hatzaddik הגאון הצדיק Nir Barkat: Preparing הרב אברהם שטיינברג-קסרמאן שליט"א to lead the Likud כי אחינו בשרינו הוא The results of a survey held recently of the most complex city in Israel. pull together 61 MK’s so as to form a among Likud voters show that former But more importantly, the government. According to this survey, mayor of Jerusalem and present central point which is beginning the Likud under Barkat, together Knesset member Nir Barkat has one to become clear is that even if with the right-wing bloc and Bennett, definitive advantage over Netanyahu: Barkat gets less seats than Netanyahu add up to 56 seats. Add to that Sa’ar, Unlike Netanyahu, he is capable of had, Barkat can beat the current leader Lieberman or Gantz and you have a bringing the Likud back to power and of the opposition (Netanyahu) since majority government. forming a right-wing government. he has the ability to put together a One can see that Barkat has begun According to the survey, Barkat is strengthening his status as possible leader of the Likud on the day after Netanyahu goes; Barkat is way ahead One can see that Barkat has begun his competitors. With Nir Barkat heading the Likud they would get 24 to be more involved in defense issues seats even before holding a public campaign. But, behind the numbers, and national political policies – the the survey data provides us with a goal being to display his abilities in peek into political shifts going on behind the scenes during these days of realms that are crucial for a prime the Likud being in the opposition. There are a number of ways to account minister for the data provided by the survey, among them the similarities between Barkat and Netanyahu, such as both being successful businessmen with a national coalition government headed to be more involved in defense issues strong military background, having by the Likud. and national political policies – the a good understanding of economics, Unlike the boycott placed on goal being to display his abilities in known to take initiative and having Netanyahu by many parties, Barkat realms that are crucial for a prime international connections. In addition, can form a national unity government minister. His trip to Washington and On September 30th he is being thrown out of his home! Barkat is seen as a person with a good with Sa’ar, Lieberman and even Gantz. his statement regarding the American record of getting things done – after Four election campaigns have proven consulate in East Jerusalem are part of Scan to all, he succeeded in his business that even when the difference is this plan. To Donate By Phone: ventures and was a successful mayor only one seat – Netanyahu cannot That being said, even with his lead Donate 518-323-0376 ID#2156 Online: 14 24 Elul 5781 מכתב מאת מרן ראש הישיבה הרב ירוחם אלשין שליט"א

in the surveys, Barkat has a few and is just waiting for the moment that of finance. detractors within the Likud; there is a Netanyahu will leave politics. One last point: Despite what was well-known critique against him that Importantly, if Barkat emphasizes the written in this column last week he bought his status with money. It message that Netanyahu cannot form regarding those who are looking seems that Barkat is not alarmed by a government supported by 61 MK’s, forward to the former head of the this accusation, and even sees it as an the section of the Likud that feels Mossad, Yossi Cohen taking over; advantage, showing him as a person victimized will knock him down, as in spite of his favored status within who is less likely to become involved one who contributed to the ousting of the Likud and the wishes of many in possible financial scandals. Netanyahu. Likud members to see him becoming Netanyahu’s close supporters also do With all this going on in the Netanyahu’s heir, the law bars him not see Barkat as a real right-winger background, it is important to from running in the coming primaries and claim that he is essentially a emphasize that Barkat is not attacking for the Likud leadership, due to On September 30th he is being thrown out of his home! Kadima advocate (– that short-lived Netanyahu right now and has take place before the next election. party headed by Ariel Sharon) who is refrained from doing so in the past, Currently, the law demands a cooling- Scan to just waiting for Netanyahu to fall. They even when Netanyahu did not give off period between a public civic post To Donate By Phone: Donate claim he is colluding with Gideon Sa’ar him the promised position of minister and a political one. 518-323-0376 ID#2156 Online: 16 24 Elul 5781 Weekly Review Yaakov Baumwolspiner We can and WILL save him. The Taliban are Back! Your 300$ will make

After nearly two decades of war this happen! in Afghanistan, a horrified world watched as the Taliban took back control Afghanistan last month. The fall of Kabul, the capital, came $300 Dollars after a fierce Taliban military offensive to Keep him Home. that took only a matter of days. Afghan President Ashraf Ghani fled the 50 Dollars a Month country with just the clothes on his back. Hours later Taliban leaders took for Only 6 Months. his place in the presidential palace. After outlasting the worlds most powerful armies in a war that cost billions of dollars, and thousands of lives, the Taliban terrorist group are once again ruling Afghanistan. Who are the Taliban, how did they manage to take control of Afghanistan But counting on the Americans to twice in a quarter of a century, and how did the policies of four consecutive eventually lose patience with the U.S. administrations lead us to this war, the resilient and ruthless Taliban moment? persisted Final Repossession Notice The Taliban Emerges. The seeds of the Taliban network Must Leave by September 30,2021. But the joy over that victory was not to the Taliban quickly attracted a were first planted when the Soviet last. The various mujahideen factions following. After months of intense Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979 to began fighting for control, and fighting, they took over most of the prop up the then Communist Afghan Afghanistan fell into a brutal civil war. country. In September of 1996, the government. Not long after the invasion, groups of guerrilla fighters It was against this backdrop that Taliban entered Kabul, hung the the known as mujahideen or holy warriors mujahideen fighter and religious Afghan president from a lamppost, declared a jihad against the Soviet teacher, Mullah Mohammad Omar, and established the Islamic Emirate of forces. The patchwork of Islamic together with a group of 50 students Afghanistan. fighters were heavily supported and from mujahideen groups and religious The Taliban immediately imposed armed by a U.S. government that was seminaries founded a movement their harsh interpretation of Islam, happy to wage a proxy war against known as the Taliban, (Pashtun for enforcing it with brutal public On September 30th he is being thrown out of his home! its Cold War rival. Sure enough the ‘students’). punishments including beatings, Soviets were eventually driven out of Promising to put Islamic values first amputations and mass executions. Scan to Afghanistan, and the pro-communist and to rid the suffering Afghan people Women and girls were banned from To Donate By Phone: Donate government crumbled. of its corrupt warlords and criminals, most jobs or going to school. And any 518-323-0376 ID#2156 Online: 18 24 Elul 5781 30 Days Left to save the Steinbergs women caught outside the home with The Taliban was severely degraded, then-Vice President Joe Biden, viewed their faces uncovered risked severe but never defeated. With the shelter the mission in Afghanistan as a war Thousands know him as the Tzaddik Reb Klonimus was niftar this year at almost 100 years old. punishment. and assistance of Pakistan’s military, without purpose, and he made his Reb Avrohom, the Baal Dira from Brisk. גזירה from this terribble שברי כלים is צדיק בן צדיק This When Saudi Arabia-born former the Taliban transformed itself into a opposition well known. Ultimately, What the oilam needs to know That in a months time Reb Avrohom is being thrown out of his home, onto on him and his family. Our tzibbur can save him! mujahedeen fighter, Osama bin Laden, guerrilla insurgency. Obama sided with the generals, and then we,חלק will take on himself a small יחיד the streets with his furniture. If every was expelled from Sudan that same The coming months and years began deploying tens of thousands .בסייעתא דשמייא CAN and WILL save him ציבור Reb Avrohoms father Reb Klonimus Kalman as a year, the Taliban made Afghanistan a would see Bush send thousands of was one of the first and greatest זצ“ל more troops. By August of 2010 there Kesserman safe haven for him to build up his al- US troops to Afghanistan to go after was a whopping 100,000 U.S. forces Talmidim of Reb Aron Kotler Zatzal from 1948-1954 Qaida terrorist group. That hospitality Taliban insurgents. By May 2003, the in Afghanistan. As a survivor he brought over the Mussagim of a Pre would cost the Taliban dearly a few Pentagon declared that major combat But counting on the Americans to War European Yeshiva Bochur in Lita to BMG. years later. in Afghanistan was over. The focus for eventually lose patience with the He would later spend the next 60 years on the same bench in Kollel Chazon Ish, where every year on The the US and its international partners war, the resilient and ruthless Taliban Yahrzeit of Reb Aron he would say the Shiur Klali. September 11, 2001 turned to reconstructing the country persisted. Sure enough Obama began On Sept. 11, 2001, al-Qaida struck into a Western-style democracy with drawing down the troops a few years the United States, toppling the modern institutions. Thousands later, and the Taliban insurgence World Trade Center towers in New of Afghan girls and woman began began gaining ground again. By the York and damaging the Pentagon in attending school and taking jobs. time Obama left office there was just Washington. Thousands were killed, At the same time, the U.S. began under 10,000 troops in Afghanistan. and the world shook. shifting its attention and resources As a candidate, President Trump President George W. Bush demanded toward a new war in Iraq. Meanwhile, vowed to bring the remaining that the Taliban hand over al Qaeda back in Afghanistan, the new Afghan American troops home. And in and Osama bin Laden. When the government was riddled with February of 2020, he struck a deal Taliban supreme leader, Mullah corruption, and many Afghans were with the Taliban that set the course Mohammad Omar rejected that call, beginning to lose faith in western for a full American withdrawal of the United States began preparing for institutions. Afghanistan by May 2021. When war. The number of Taliban fighters began President Biden succeeded President In remarks to a joint session of growing again. Some Afghans were Trump in January 2021, he finally had Congress at the time, President Bush intimidated into joining, but with the To Donate By Phone the chance to end the war he had long acknowledged the coming conflict Taliban offering better pay than the become disillusioned with, and in would amount to “a lengthy campaign local police force salary, many were unlike any other we have ever seen.” happy to volunteer. And the Taliban April of 2021, he announced that he would abide by his predecessor’s deal However, nobody could’ve have began gaining ground in rural areas of Checks Can be Made out to: predicted just how lengthy the war the south. and bring the remaining 2,500 troops Call Right Now: Keren Hatzedoka would become. The following years would see home. On October 7, 2001, the U.S. military steady increases in American forces On July 2, the U.S. handed Bagram P.O.B. 577 invaded Afghanistan with the launch deployed to Afghanistan. And by the Airfield to the Afghan forces. Lakewood NJ 08701 of Operation Enduring Freedom. time President Bush left office, there The pentagon kept up the rapid Memo Steinberg Unleashing an unprecedented were more than 30,000 US troops withdrawal even as the Taliban began 518-323-0376 airstrike campaign, the U.S. and stationed in the country. taking over whole districts and then Or Scan the QR code HERE its allies soon toppled the Taliban When President Barack Obama cities. On August 15, a mere week and a half after the Taliban captured their ID#2156 government. And the surviving al- entered the White House in 2009, Qaeda and Taliban officials fled to the Taliban were staging a full-blown first province, the insurgence entered Pakistan. Bin Laden himself would insurgency. The military’s top brass Kabul. And for now, the white Taliban Chavrei Vaad Hatzola: eventually also slip across the border recommended a massive “surge” of flag is once again flying high over into Pakistan. troops to combat the Taliban. But the Afghanistan. R' Yechiel Kesserman, R' Yaakov Yisroel Schoenblum, R' Matis Herzka R' Aron Puretz, R' Shmuel Puretz, R' Kalman Tabak

20 24 Elul 5781 By Isaac Lefkowitz

In a quiet alley in Yerushalayim’s Bais Yisrael neighborhood IN THE lives one of the great mekubalim and geonim of our generation, a remnant of the last INNER generation, R’ Yaakov Meir Shechter, one of the roshei yeshiva of Yeshivas Hamekubalim Sha’ar Hashamayim SANCTUM in Yerushalayim and president of Keren Or Tracing the life and of Breslov. From his small room, he brings hearing the gripping bracha to the world. words of the famous R’ Yaakov Meir was born on 7 Cheshvan, 5691 (Oct. 29, 1930). He studied for mekubal, the gaon and 14 years in Yeshivas Bais Avraham of Slonim in Yerushalayim and was tzadik R’ close with the Nesivos Shalom. In his early years in yeshiva he was very close with R’ Mordechai Chaim Slonim and studied with him daily. After his YAAKOV marriage, he established a chaburah of Breslover youth in Yerushalayim. In his youth, he participated in the MEIR kabalah shiurim of R’ Yeshaya Asher Zelig Margalios. Later, he studied for several years in the Tarbitza kollel led by R’ Yehuda Horowitz of Djikov. SHECHTER In those days, before it became possible to visit Uman, the few SHLITA Breslover Chassidim in Eretz Yisrael were concentrated in Yerushalayim, with some in Bnei Brak and Tel Aviv.

22 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 23 For Rosh Hashanah, they would all heard far away, and we danced. the store and saw a bachur who I knew gather in Yeshivas Eitz Chaim in the What was the state of the youth? was trying to pull me into the Etzel. Churvas R’ Yehuda Hachassid in the The Zionist organizations—the When they saw me, they began to Old City, where a kibbutz of Breslover Etzel, the Lechi, and the Haganah speak among themselves, saying that Chassidim had a peak attendance of (underground groups fighting the they knew how to get into the Haganah 70 daveners. British)—destroyed worlds of youths. and the Lechi, clearly hoping to draw This congregation constituted the If a young man would remain G-d- me into the conversation so they could majority of the Breslover Chassidim fearing, he usually would not remain a instruct me on how to get in, R”l. With in the world. Their number included Breslover Chassid. Hashem’s kindness, I passed the test those from Meron, then desolate and In those difficult days, I went to Mea and was saved from them. I told no inaccessible due to Arab persecution. Shearim to get something repaired one; they could have been jailed for Breslover Chassidim in Europe were in a store that belonged to a young that by the British. Sadly, the poison of trapped in the Holocaust. In the US, Breslover Chassid who had been taken those movements slowly took effect, they struggled to assemble a minyan by the Zionist organizations. I entered and when the State was established, on Rosh Hashanah. Those in the Old City felt like one family. they both left Chareidi life R”l. that on the way back the Ga’avad said, was elderly, a year and a half away from Among them was a small number of My father told me that people would “I can’t describe to you how they were his passing, and most people in the city youths, including the masmid Yaakov tell Breslover Chassidim, “Your Rebbe pursued, but they accepted it with no longer used him as a mohel. But my Meir Shechter. Today, it’s hard to promised that his fire would burn until love and Hashem helped them.” A father could not forgo having him as the advent of Mashiach, but it appears mohel for his first son. He went to him, believe that the situation was so bleak Breslover boy who went somewhere that this is your last generation.” It utilizing his special relationship, and back then, but so it was. Breslov was else wouldn’t be accepted and suffered pained me personally very much. After said: “Many have stopped using you as humiliated and ridiculed, and there terribly. I once said that the Jewish my wedding, someone in Bais Yisrael miracle of the sheep among seventy a mohel, but you remain the rav of the was minimal demand, if any, to be told me, “Yaakov Meir! Today, when wolves applied to us too. The fact city, so I am asking you as the rav: Are counted among its members. someone says ‘Breslover yungerman,’ that we survived is only a miracle of you still able to do milah?” KEHILOTH: Was there really such a he means you; there are no others.” our Rebbe. They mocked us at every “Yes! Yes!” he answered. So I merited small number of Breslover Chassidim The words felt like a stab. I undertook opportunity. Any misdeed by one of to be one of the last boys to have R’ at one time? to get involved in the chinuch of the us and they said “A Breslover.” When I Yosef Chaim as a mohel. My sandak R’ YAAKOV MEIR SHECHTER: Indeed youth. Initially, a had just a mezuman entered yeshiva, I was very careful not was R’ Eliyahu Kletzkin. there was, but you must understand for shalosh seudos. A number of to stumble. At every step, they said to My father was orphaned at a young that some of them came from Poland bachurim started coming to a melava me mockingly, “You’re a Breslover.” age. When he was 14 or 15, his father and were unaccustomed to the dire malka I organized, until I gathered 24 As I said, the miracle of the rebuilding R’ Yaakov Gedalya passed away. World poverty of Yerushalayim. They were bachurim with Hashem’s help. It broke of Breslov on a massive scale has War I was raging then, so there was a unable to give up their economic the record! no natural explanation. It is a true severe famine in Yerushalayim. Many status, and in Yerushalayim that How was the great opposition to Resuscitation of the Dead! left Yerushalayim for moshavim, was impossible under the directives Breslov expressed? My father was the editor of R’ Eliyahu where they earned a living from of the British government, so they It’s impossible to describe the powerful Kletzkin’s halachic responsa and independent agriculture, but they settled in Tel Aviv. After the State opposition that once existed. I had the served him extensively. From time required a special permit to leave the was established, when spiritual life privilege of knowing R’ Moshe Aryeh to time, my father would accompany city. My father obtained one, but he in Tel Aviv became intolerable, they Freund up close, and I once even him to rabbinic meetings, so he knew became aware of someone that was moved to Bnei Brak. Still, they came to When I entered yeshiva, I was very invited him to the yahrzeit seudah the rabanim and even served as an wanted by the government, so without Yerushalayim to daven in the kibbutz for R’ Nosson. He arrived and was emissary among them. In this capacity, hesitation he gave the man his permit, for Rosh Hashanah. careful not to stumble. At every step, very impressed by the giant crowd he also had a special relationship with saving his life. The man then used my Davening was in the Eitz Chaim they said to me mockingly, “You’re a of Breslover Chassidim and by the the rav of Yerushalayim, R’ Yosef father’s name, Dovid Shechter, for a Yeshiva. We davened with great Breslover.” enthusiastic talks that were delivered. Chaim Sonnenfeld. My father told me number of years. enthusiasm and the sound could be Later, one of the gabba’im told me that when I was born, R’ Yosef Chaim Knowing the government’s tactics

24 24 Elul 5781 A Diamond Should Be Expensive faigalafriedman.com well, my father strategized to to benefit others, but he never saw get himself a new permit, but he anyone who was himself suffering immediately became aware of another he never saw terribly but worried only about unfortunate soul who was wanted, so anyone who helping others, with the exception of he gave up the new one, too. my father. Rather than dealing with Thus did my father find himself was himself his own problems, he was involved orphaned, without means, and hungry. suffering only with lightening the burdens of There were days he ate only apple his friends on foreign soil. LL PRICES peels. He later told me that he was so terribly but With his great resourcefulness and RO IN Y L A A weakened by hunger that he would perfect command of Hebrew, he P K worried only T E W S sometimes walk on the street close to formed a relationship with Abu Akef, E O

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1-10 employees $26.50 11-20 employees $32.50 26 24 Elul 5781 one stop shop

You are preparing a meal before Me, to us to return to him, we will receive and you’re stingy? Aren’t you like the great flow promised in the Holy Kayin, who was miserly and brought printing+binding My father Torah for one who does Hashem’s will. a meal offering from flaxseed, while How does one do that? Hevel brought from the best of the would quote Every person has elevated moments sheep?” from a Midrash when he receives Heavenly One Erev Pesach, shortly before strengthening. If we but know to World War II, my father was working that if a person understand and utilize this, we can, T E D C tirelessly to save Diaspora Jews by with Hashem’s help, reach very high A E is stingy about C N O T interceding with the authorities to levels. L R

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28 24 Elul 5781 WWW.PRINTFLASH.BIZ [email protected] 01, 2021 29 By Isaac Lefkowitz

Wednesday, 24 Elul is the 88th near Vilna. His wife opened a small THE PONEVEZHER RAV REMEMBERS REVEALING yahrzeit of the holy Chafetz Chaim. grocery that sustained them, but just The following are the reminiscences barely. Thanks to his wife’s support, he HIS REBBI, THE CHAFETZ CHAIM of his loyal talmid, the Ponevezher Rav, could go out for extended periods to TESTIMONY R’ Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman zt”l, from learn in surrounding towns, in some a newspaper interview conducted in of which he also taught groups of “AT THAT MOMENT I DECIDED: OFFERING A the 1950s. bachurim. For a short time he served First, a bit of history: R’ Yisrael Meir as rav of Radin, but he resigned when GLIMPSE INTO Hakohen Kagan zt”l, known by the the townspeople didn’t fulfill the I’M NOT MOVING! IF THE name of his acclaimed sefer, Chafetz conditions he set upon accepting the THE LOFTY Chaim, one of the greatest rabanim position. In 5629 (1869), he established in the pre-Holocaust generation, and headed Yeshivas Radin. In its first CHAFETZ CHAIM KNOWS HOW was founder and rosh yeshiva of the years, he also managed it and took care PERSONALITY yeshiva in Radin and author also of of all its needs. Mishnah Brurah and other sefarim. To the best of our knowledge, he was TO SOB AND PLEAD THIS OF THE He was born in Zhetl, Grodno influenced by his rebbi R’ Nachumke Governorate, Russian Empire (today of Horodna and by R’ Yisrael Salanter. CHAFETZ Belarus), to R’ Aryeh Zev and Dobrusha In 1873, he published his first sefer, WAY FOR A WOMAN HAVING Kagan. Chafetz Chaim, on the laws of lashon The year of his birth is not known hara. In 1884, he released the first CHAIM, FROM with certainty. Some infer from volume of his Mishnah Brurah. He TROUBLE DELIVERING, THEN communications regarding his desire insisted on not earning a livelihood HIS DEVOTED to move to Eretz Yisrael that he was from the rabbinate, and he was born in 5599 (1839) and lived 94 years. supported by the grocery and by I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.” STUDENT His son also determined that he was selling his anonymously published born in that year. According to one of sefarim. his biographies, it was 1838 (5598). To the best of our knowledge, his His father operated a store. Around first public project was in the field age 10, Yisrael Meir went to study of shmiras halashon, on which topic Torah at the Parnes Kloiz in Vilna, he wrote his Chafetz Chaim and where he became known as a prodigy. Shmiras Halashon. He was known as His father and his rebbi in Vilna were someone who lived as he wrote and talmidim of R’ Chaim Volozhiner. He was extremely careful to avoid lashon was also influenced very much in hara. He generally emphasized the Vilna by the local maggidim and the importance of interpersonal mitzvos, style of their drashos, woven with writing Ahavas Chesed and other parables. At 14, he lost his father. He works. testified that a known maskil called His magnum opus was Mishnah Adam Hakohen tried to influence him Brurah, published in six volumes to become a maskil while he was in between 5644 (1884) and 5667 Vilna, but he refused. At 17, he acceded (1907). With time, it became the most to his stepfather’s request that he important halachic work in Jewish marry his stepsister Freida so as not to communities worldwide. He invested create a rift in his mother’s marriage. much time ensuring that his books be After the wedding, they lived in Radin, printed properly to avoid any question

30 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 31 of stealing from his customers. He paid tell? It is true that I regularly recount proofreaders to inspect each volume stories of him. At every suitable for defects. opportunity, my rebbi’s image surfaces The Chafetz Chaim appears to be in my memory. And when I recall a the first person to have written a story, I tell it, because in each one lies a halacha and mussar guide for soldiers great lesson in Torah and mussar and (Machanei Yisrael) and immigrants proper behavior. Every little anecdote (Nidchei Yisrael). (On the latter topic, is worth a fortune. he also wrote Nefutzos Yisrael). He I knew the Chafetz Chaim well before also wrote a sefer of halacha and I ever laid eyes on him. I studied mussar for women (Geder Olam) and about seven years in Telz. From there wrote halacha and mussar on the I moved—or more precisely, was prohibition of delaying a worker’s pay. moved—to Novardok. R’ Elchanan He was also known for his longing Wasserman, a veteran Radin talmid, for the ge’ulah. He encouraged came to the Novardok yeshiva. R’ kohanim and others to study the Elchanan also lived through the halachos of avodas hakorbanos and storms of the generation, and I was Seder Kodshim, for which purpose he drawn after him to the Chafetz Chaim. penned Likutei Halachos and founded The Chafetz Chaim was entirely When I arrived after long wanderings the Kollel Kodshim in his yeshiva. He Torah. Every move, every word, every in the tiny town of Radin, I made a involved himself in preparations for beeline for the Chafetz Chaim’s home, Mashiach’s arrival because he believed step, every blink. It was all Torah as I had made up with R’ Elchanan. that the period of ikvesa d’meshicha That’s when the first sensational surprise awaited me. had arrived and that all the signs Actually, what occurred was nothing given by Chazal had been fulfilled. exceptional with the Chafetz Chaim, He later authored Tzipisa Lishuah but I was captivated. I was connected to to strengthen faith in the advent of him with all my heart before I even saw Mashiach. him. Why? On account of something The Chafetz Chaim was concerned apparently simple. When I entered his about Shabbos observance, and he meager room, the Rebbetzin received personally implored factory and me and asked me to wait a bit. From business owners to release their the next room, I heard heartrending Jewish employees from Shabbos work. crying. I was shaken. Who was crying, He wrote to Belgian authorities about and why? And what really amazed me closing the Antwerp stock exchange was that the Rebbetzin was completely on Shabbos because most of the unperturbed. The cries intensified At that moment I decided: I’m not traders were Jews. and I didn’t know what to do. I could INTERVIEWER: Can the Rav teach hold myself back no longer. “What moving! If the Chafetz Chaim knows us something of the greatness of the happened?” I asked. She answered Chafetz Chaim? me in a whisper, in a voice saturated how to sob and plead this way for a PONEVEZHER RAV: The Chafetz with pain: “There’s a woman having woman having trouble delivering, then Chaim was entirely Torah. Every difficulty giving birth, and we must move, every word, every step, every daven for her!” When I heard this I’m not going anywhere Photo by Jeck Gotlib blink. It was all Torah. What can I explanation, I was so moved I almost

32 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 33 cried. At that moment I decided: I’m not moving! If the Chafetz Chaim Radin knows how to sob and plead this way for a woman having trouble delivering, then I’m not going anywhere. As an aside, when I once mentioned this anecdote in a drasha, one of the listeners called out excitedly: “If that happened in 5667 (1907), I was the baby that was born! I remember hearing in my childhood that when I was born, my mother’s condition was really beyond hope, and only on account of the Chafetz Chaim’s pleas did a miracle occur!” This is generally an amazing thing, that when you tell astounding stories about the Chafetz Chaim, sometimes Radin Yeshiva people in the audience approach to What will it add details. With regard to the fatherly relationship between the Chafetz benefit you, Chaim and his talmidim, no story can fully describe it. ba’alei batim I knew the Chafetz Chaim only when he was elderly and weak. Countless of Radin, even legends circulated in Radin about how much he cherished and connected if you involve with each and every talmid and yourselves about his dedication to the yeshiva in general. with Torah How is it possible to describe this for today’s yeshivaleit? The Chafetz batim were upset about it, the Chafetz One must know that each day and and mitzvos? Chaim’s yeshiva was considered Chaim gave mussar to his talmidim: each moment in the Chafetz Chaim’s among the great yeshivos of Lithuania. “One who shepherds a small animal is life was dedicated to Torah and The fire of Chafetz Chaim assembled all the small hole. In the end, all his wealth is But for many years, the learning disqualified as a witness, because he chessed. He was very involved in acts machlokess is gone because of this small hole. What and the shiurim were held in the is suspected of theft. And doing with of chessed, and he wrote a sefer called townspeople and gave them a shiur town’s kloiz. And then there was the the shtenders what their owners don’t Ahavas Chessed, but when he needed burning a hole on the laws of lashon hara that no one will it benefit you, ba’alei batim of issue of the shtenders. Every known allow is the ‘dust’ of theft.” to rebuke the community, he would present would ever forget. Radin, even if you involve yourselves layman in town had a shtender at What else did he do? Every night at do so in such a way that your bones in your pocket, The shouting voice of the Chafetz with Torah and mitzvos? The fire his designated seat, but the yeshiva’s midnight, he personally extinguished would shiver. There was an incident Chaim still reverberates in my ears. of machlokess is burning a hole in talmidim would regularly move them the lights in the kloiz so the students during a great dissension that erupted and all your Several things are engraved in my your pocket, and all your wealth will around, looking for a comfortable would go to sleep, and then he returned in Radin— wealth will memory from that drasha of rebuke. disappear! Please, ba’alei batim of corner or suitable light, or they were the shtenders to their places so the A great dissension in Radin?! “A Jew who is a ba’al machlokess is Radin, have pity on me! When you learning with chavrusos and moved ba’alei batim would find everything in Radin was a town like any other, and disappear! like someone with a pocket full of stand before the heavenly court, and shtenders together. Since the ba’alei order in the morning. discord arose over the shochtim. The gold coins and the pocket develops a they demand that you account for this

34 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 35 terrible sin, please don’t mention me! Don’t say I was silent and didn’t protest Radin Yeshiva against you! I have come to announce this warning and protest publicly!” Many memories and experiences remain with me from my final visit to Radin. As it is known, the border between Poland and Russia was closed, and only with great difficulty did I get from Ponevezh to Radin. I had already begun my journeys then, and this was after I had returned from JOIN SHIVTI AS WE LEARN THE FASCINATING TOPIC OF my first visit to South Africa and was preparing to travel to the US. I was in Radin for 24 hours, 18 of which I spent מצות תקיעת שופר ”.and suffering, they help each other. stay a little longer, Ponevezher Rav in the presence of the Chafetz Chaim. He taught me then the great lesson of When I toured the mining centers, I I replied that if the Chafetz Chaim saw many poor blacks wallowing in would command me to stay, I would. תקנת רבי אבהו .the importance of time תקיעה או שמיעה ,He said: “Look how people lack the streets, and they divided a slice He smiled: “I don’t want to command seichel. If someone asks his neighbor of bread or a bottle of liquor among but I would want that.” And I regret • What is the essence of the mitzva - to blow or to hear? • What is the definition of the word Teruah – sobbing or for a loan, and the neighbor has a little them. The Chafetz Chaim expressed that to this day. • What should one’s Kavana be when performing the mitzva? sighing? money but is afraid to lose it, he doesn’t feelings of compassion for the blacks: What? • What should the exact text of the bracha be? • Why the uncertainty regarding give the requested loan. By contrast, “Are they not people, too?” He then That I was more concerned about my • May a deaf person blow the shofar? the meaning of the word if someone approaches his neighbor added that when we daven and thank schedule, according to which I had Teruah? for some idle chatter, the neighbor Hashem “and he separated us from to board a ship for America within • Why so many blasts? feels he has a large storehouse of time. those who stray,” we must have in days. I took my leave and received his • Is speaking between Tekios permitted? But the truth of the matter is, no man mind all nations and all ethnicities, blessing, but I fell ill on the way from knows his time, and the storehouse and therefore one should know the Radin to Mir and became bedridden of time is in the hands of the Ribono condition of the blacks as well. And with a high fever. After, when I shel Olam, so one must properly guard do we not trust and hope, “and all the arrived home in Ponevezh late, my תקיעות דמיושב ותקיעות דמעומד ,each moment! earth will be filled with knowledge of Rebbetzin a”h fell ill, and as a result What else is engraved in your memory Hashem”? my journey to America was delayed • Which ones are “the real thing”? from that final visit? I admit that whenever I return in my by six weeks. That’s the lesson. I lost • Why do some have the custom to blow during the quiet One of the things that amazed me then mind to that visit with my rebbi, my six weeks because I didn’t have the Shemone Esre? • Must one listen to every word of Chazaras Hashatz? was the Chafetz Chaim’s interest in the heart laments and my conscience strength to accede to the wish of the • Understanding the concept of “confusing the satan”? wretched plight of the blacks in Africa. bothers me. And there’s a particular Chafetz Chaim. In this matter I envy New Shivti As I described my trip to South Africa reason for that. And in this, too, there Chassidim. I’ll say clearly: I generally Online Membership and the poor state of the Jews there, the is a great lesson, so it’s worth telling. As don’t regret not being a Chassid, but shivtiyk.com DON’T JUST GET THE ANSWERS. conversation turned to the blacks. He I said, I was preparing then to travel to I must admit that Chassidim have LEARN IT FROM THE SOURCE! began to interrogate me about them. I America, so my time was limited, and I certain abilities, and had I been a said that several times I encountered apologized to the Chafetz Chaim that Chassid, I would certainly not have PARTICIPATING CITIES blacks in cities and on the road, and my visit was too brief. When I arose to been in a hurry to leave the Chafetz BALTIMORE | BAYSWATER | BOSTON | BROOKLYN | CHESTNUT RIDGE | CHICAGO | CINCINNATI | CLEVELAND | CLIFTON | DALLAS | DETROIT | EDISON /HIGHLAND PARK I noticed that despite their poverty leave, he said, “I want that you should Chaim despite his entreaty. FAR ROCKAWAY | HOUSTON | JACKSON | LAKEWOOD | LOS ANGELES | MANHATTAN | MELBOURNE | MIAMI BEACH | MINNEAPOLIS | MONSEY | MOSCOW | PASSAIC PHILADELPHIA | QUEENS | RAMAT BEIT SHEMESH | SILVER SPRING | ST. LOUIS | TOMS RIVER | TORONTO | WASHINGTON HEIGHTS | WATERBURY | WEST HEMPSTEAD | WOODMERE

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945 RIVER AVE, LAKEWOOD, NJ CALL OR WHATSAPP 732.370.4500 SHOP ONLINE EVERGREENKOSHER.COM 945 RIVER AVE, LAKEWOOD, NJ CALL OR WHATSAPP 732.370.4500 SHOP ONLINE EVERGREENKOSHER.COM 945 RIVER AVE, LAKEWOOD, NJ CALL OR WHATSAPP 732.370.4500 SHOP ONLINE EVERGREENKOSHER.COM Down to Business Freeda Mann סגולה לימי אלול "מי שילמוד Name: Miriam Gittel Friedman הלכות שביעית Company: Artflashstudios Photography יתקיים בו כל Shemitta Established: 2015 הברכות" Location: Lakewood ]הגר"ח קניבסקי שליט"א[ heed the in Chutz call of the The background The day-to-day The mantra Gedolei Getting the right pose has been something, that for Miriam Gittel of paint artist. Canvases, oils, paints, brushes, these were the stuff of her Artflashstudios, always came naturally. Even as a young child, using a dreams, to make her visions come alive. Capturing the right color, feel, YiSroel! primitive child’s camera, Miriam Gittel was always focused on taking texture and mood are what makes her paintings unique and personal. shots that would capture the emotions of the minute. Growing up Then the magic happened. After reading a book on photography, when digital cameras were unheard of, Miriam Gittel learnt to use her where the author compared capturing images with a camera lens, La'Aretz camera very wisely. For every shot taken, you had to pay to develop the film. The film itself also cost plenty, and unlike digital memory cards, it to painting on canvas, in essence using the lens of a camera as a was not reusable. All this forced Miriam Gittel to treat each shot with paintbrush, the eureka moment happened! Combining her love thought, care and precision. In addition to loving photography, with a and passion of photography, with her artistic skills of oil painting, Join Shivti as we learn the Halachos of deep passion for capturing life’s moments, Miriam Gittel is also an oil Artflashstudios was born! ShemittaS KeSafim - Pruzbul T H e Deluxe BracH Family eDi T ion The background The day-to-day The mantra How does Pruzbul work? Does it require After aptly naming her photography business Artflashstudios, to get authentic, moment shots, the mood has to be relaxed, easy and an actual Beis Din, or simply 3 adults? incorporating her art into photography, Miriam Gittel set out to change playful. Miriam Gittel has created all this and more. In her state-of- what photography really means. For many in todays digital, photoshop the-art studio, Miriam Gittel has created a professional, high-tech Is owning real estate a pre-requisite world, the art of photography has been lost. So many suffice with basic studio, that still puts her clients at ease. Be it newborns, upsherins, or photography shots, that are then photo shopped latter. Of course, there family portraits, everyone enjoys the shoot. From before the shoot, for writing a Pruzbul? Min Hatorah or is some beauty to these pictures. Our computer programs are supper Miriam Gittel is there with a pre photo shoot consultation, going thru high tech and can really create almost anything. But what they can’t the color theme of the shoot, the desired mood wanted, the location M’Drabanan? Is the Pruzbul written do, and what they will never do, is to create an artistic masterpiece that that the pictures will be hung and each client’s dreams, and visions you will value like a rare expensive painting. In order to capture pure, are discussed. She also has a full array of interesting clothing options before the onset of Shemitta (i.e. erev Rosh authentic shots, there needs to be a deep understanding of lighting, for those who want a bit of a different kind of shoot. Wearing unique composition, texture and mood. These elements simply can’t be clothing, that one would not necessarily wear outside, can create Hashana this year) or reproduced latter on a computer. In addition, when taking family and certain moods for the photo. Miriam Gittel aims to capture her clients portrait shots, there must be the ability to connect with the subject. dreams and ides into an everlasting masterpiece. at the conclusion of Shemitta Loving people and kids are vital for a family photographer. In order (i.e. erev Rosh Hashana next year)?

The background The day-to-day The mantra

In addition to specializing in family portraits, Miriam Gittel has a full master shots have been accepted by Shutterstock and Adobe stock and products photography line. In product photography, the goal is to sell. are available for sale worldwide. Whether it’s a portrait masterpiece The goal is always to capture photos that will drive sales up and up. you’re looking for or have a product that that must sell, Artflashstudios Miriam Gittel has a unique way of capturing products that reach the by Miriam Gittel is the best place to go. At Artflashstudios, you can viewers mind, have them connect with the product and feel a need to be ensured you will be valued as a customer, your dreams, visions own the product. Lighting, angle, and texture, all play a vital role in and goals will be created and met, and your happiness is always driving sales. The proper studio is crucial for product photography. Business entrusts you with their product, and you must deliver a photo guaranteed. No matter what it takes, Miriam Gittel is there to make that will sell. Miriam Gittel understands all this, and has multiple sure your photography needs are met above and beyond. To see some Also AvAilAble for sAle: lightings, seamless backgrounds and more to ensure her clients of her great work go to Artflashstudios.com and give your eyes a feast! products sell, sell and then sell some more. Many of Miriam Gittel’s rosh hashana (berkowitz family) deluxe edition תקיעת שופר – תקיעה או שמיעה, תקנת רב אבהו – שברים תרועה, תקיעות דמיושב ומעומד For more information or to start a chabura at your Shul, Kollel or Office: Call 732.367.1060 x4250 / email [email protected] / visit shivtiyk.com 42 24 Elul 5781 For comments and remarks, Email [email protected] A Pic of History

Wednesday the 24th of Elul is the Yarzeit of the leader of his generation Maran, the .זי”ע author of the Chafetz Chaim

Even though the Chofetz Chaim lived to old age and Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay. was active to the end (there are different opinions Rabbi Milevsky studied at the Grodno Yeshiva and exactly how old he was, but he was certainly over later at the Slobodka Yeshiva. He was a member of the age of ninety), his petirah severely affected the the group of young men sent from Slobodka to Eretz yidden all over the world as the sad news spread Yisroel to establish the Chevron Yeshiva in the town quickly and many hespedim were held in all Jewish communities. of Chevron. Here is a fascinating, rare and special document, -a Miraculously, in the month of Tammuz 1929, a notice announcing a hesped held a few days after his month before the outbreak of the Hebron massacre petirah on Tzom Gedaliah, in the town of Alita West of August 1929, Rabbi Milevsky returned to his (Alytus) near the town of Radin. The notice calls on hometown and married the daughter of Alita’s rav, the public to observe a general cessation of work Rabbi David Nachman Kolidetsky, who had died four Personal story -closing all stores and businesses for the duration of 46. years earlier. Almost immediately after his marriage the hespedim. Personal Angle in 1930, at the age of twenty-six, he was appointed to 48. Although the notice does not mention his name, as far as we know the maspid -eulogist was the late his father in law’s post as rabbi of Alita. Later, during 54. Partners in Parenting who served as rabbi of World War II, Rabbi Milevsky was very active in Kehiloth Kids זצ”ל Rabbi Aharon Milevsky .55 .ימ”ש Alita and then was appointed (1937) Chief Rabbi of trying to save Jews from the Nazis

44 3 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 45 Personal story Chaya Baumwolspiner

I would not stop! Again and again I implored my Maker to hear my tefillos. For this child I prayed For you, Hashem! Not for my vanity, not for my comfort, not to care for me when I am old. A child who will bring nachas to You! A child who will bring more Kovod Shomayim into this world. parents’ Seder. “Tate leben ich vil dir I exist to add to Your Glory! It wasn’t until the fourth Rosh fregen di fir kashes” … would I ever I always With that moment of epiphany, I felt Hashana after my chasuna that the hear those hallowed words addressed that everything had changed. bombshell hit me. I was the only one of maintained a to my own dear husband? my classmates who was still davening And yet, as taxing as I found those My disapproving neighbor stopped in shul! brave front, bittersweet occasions, they were not clicking her tongue and I sensed the I buried my face in my machzor and nearly as challenging as challenging tension in her body relax. cried! a smile on as Rosh Hashana. The weighty And then, although I might have been I was always something of a go-getter, my face and realization that a full year had passed imagining it, she uttered the magical so when I got married straight out of and I still had “nothing” to show for it, words I’d waited a decade to hear: seminary, no-one was surprised. “By tore into my soul. “There, there, my child. It’s going to be a resolve to At times I had to fight back tears, but resolve. the time all your friends are married, I’d snatch a glance at the newlyweds alright”! I needed company and I didn’t want “Nechama, I’m so jealous of you. You’re you’ll likely have a baby already,” said keep my pain who came to shul with their fresh, Yes, everything would be alright; there to burden my husband more than really lucky to be able to go to shul”! my mother lightly. “Maybe with a glossy sheitels and Sheva Brochas would be no more reason to cry! necessary. With little other choice, I scurried away before she even second on the way”! hidden. Why outfits. Would they be back for other And Eli answered her and said, “Go in I became a reliable sounding-board realized the foolishness of what she’d Not so quick, Mommy dear! Although Rosh Hashanas? The few who did peace. Hashem will grant the request dampen their for their joys and frustrations, even said - perhaps she never did! – barely in the next two years my whole class rarely did so more than once. that you have made of Him.” though I could share none of my own. fighting back tears. And when I finally transitioned into young wives, I was happiness? The next time I’d see them in shul was She (Channah) said, “May your no closer to changing my status. when they came for Tekias Shofar If anything, I always maintained a settled into my seat in shul and opened maidservant find favor in your eyes.” I truth, I wasn’t all that concerned. with their children dressed to the brave front, a smile on my face and a my well-worn machzor, the dam burst looking for ways to fill my time. Then the woman went on her way Unencumbered as we were, we nines, their sweet little mouths filled resolve to keep my pain hidden. Why completely and my whole body heaved I threw myself into my work … I and she ate and she was no longer enjoyed our free time together while with nosh to keep them quiet. Thirty dampen their happiness? with the anguish of so many years became a gourmet cook … I went to downcast. our husbands were out learning. kolos, a few bags of taffies and jelly But I too had a breaking-point and it of thwarted hopes. Long, hard sobs visit an old lady in a retirement home (1 Shmuel 1:17-18; Haftora for Rosh Shopping … pizza … the gym; we did beans and off they’d go! was triggered-off by an incident so that came from the core of my being, … I dropped-in on my friends and Hashana) it all. As much as I felt hurt, I knew that no- small and seemingly inconsequential from an “inner me” that I was not even Postscript Little did I realize that it was only a watched them change diapers and one was trying to vex me. It wasn’t that I’m almost embarrassed to repeat aware of before. The incident I described here was matter of months before everything feed baby cereal to their offspring. that they were doing anything wrong! it. After all, why should I – a woman Loving Father, see the suffering indeed, my last Rosh Hashana in shul was going to change. And with all that, I still had extra hours I actually had a nice group of friends who was already approaching thirty woman that stands before you and It began slowly: one friend opted-out to think, to worry and, at times even to who made it their business to invite for several years as I was blessed with – be so totally thrown-off by the relieve her of her anguish! Let her of a night-out and then another. I must obsess. When would my turn come? me over to “chap a schmooze” in the the birth of my first child, the following comment of a neighbor who was still fulfill the purpose for which she was have been naïve, because I really didn’t Time passed! Another Simchas Torah evenings. While they washed their Elul. But, as it turned-out, we didn’t catch-on to what was happening. By watching my nephews “dance” on dishes or folded laundry, I was privy in her early twenties, albeit she was a created! Give her a child so she can call our baby Shmuel. My beautiful the time I did, there weren’t too many their fathers’ shoulders …another to their endless chatter about feeding mother of three? And yet, when this raise him with her full heart to serve daughter was given the name of my of us left. Purim kvelling at the costumes of the schedules and teething problems that almost child looked at me as I ambled only You! late mother-in-law! Another year or so passed and it was neighborhood kids … another Pesach were soon expanded to include potty- to shul that Rosh Hashana morning, Tch, tch! The elderly woman next May she lead a truly righteous life that only me! While “they” were immersed listening to the cute – but repetitive training, upsherens and choice of her words dealt a crushing blow that to me clucked her disdain at such will be a source of nachas to Hashem in the joys of motherhood, I was - chochmas of all the ainiklech at my nurseries. demolished my carefully nurtured an open display of raw emotion. But and spread the Glory of His Name.

46 24 Elul 5781 Sep 01, 2021 47 Personal Angle Yael Goldwasser

Musings from Jerusalem New beginnings?

The way you feel on the first day of the differences between fruits and been reassured that, as we live on the Rosh Hashana – that’s the way you will vegetables, the beginning and ending fourth floor, there are no restrictions feel the whole year… dates of kedusha etc. It’s kind of like on plant care. One thing off the worry- True or not true, it’s a great way to learning a language: I once tried to ruin that day. For too many years I list. concentrated on that thought, and take a course in Yiddish. The first few I just cooked the fish head, so that’s the result was, of course, extreme classes were fine, and then, suddenly, another thing off that list. For some tension: I must be happy and satisfied, the teacher took a leap forward, reason, it’s a big deal, at least as far as otherwise…. This did not make for leaving me floundering. What in the our neighborhood joint email goes: a happy day, or year either, for that world is she saying??? matter. “Where can you get a fish head?” So I gave up on being on top of the I think what helped, ironically enough, “Anyone have an extra fish head?” halachas of shmitta, and am happy to was having my father pass away And, on the other hand, “Have three suddenly fifteen years ago – four rely on the various authorities who extra fish heads! Be in touch!” I hope days before Rosh Hashana. With a are organizing the fruit and vegetable they all get evenly distributed in the shortened shiva due to the holiday, I supply this time round. The prices landed in the new year with one very end. might be interesting (fourteen years clear understanding: Hashem is the Now all that remains, as Rosh ago, as I recall, the price of zucchini King, and He decided that my father Hashana comes in for a landing, is to would be nifter on that day and no quadrupled), but as long as the produce remember to polish the silver honey- other. I didn’t have to go to shul to feel will be available, I will be content (bli jar base and the candlesticks, make His kingship; he had shown it to me in neder). The only problem remaining lean on me harder… She was quite How about… great? Exciting? Full will not be more of the same: it will sure I have proper heaven-pointing real time. are my few houseplants. While some heavy, and she ended up collapsing on of happy events? Good health would be shmitta. Before previous shmittas And so, if Hashem is running things challahs (though often they come out the floor in a dead faint. Apparently, definitely be a boon. And having of my plants are doing so poorly that and not me, then instead of trying to I attempted to learn all the halachas. she hadn’t had enough to drink. I sufficient funds would also be nice. I may actually throw them out, there looking more like corkscrews), and, control the day and make it perfect At the beginning, they seem fairly of course, prepare the apple, dates, (which is impossible anyway), I could certainly had no such plans for the day, The list is really endless – I admit to is that magnificent orchid, now in a simple and straightforward, but as go on to accept whatever the Creator but Someone Else did. keeping a wish list of all manner of dormant stage, which I would rather pomegranates and all those meals; oh, had in mind for me. I had had a That being said, I do wish sometimes desired material goods – but after a you go on, complications begin to keep alive. After procrastinating for and also, by the way, my soul could use that on Rosh Hashana I would get year-and-a-half of Corona, I think we preliminary lesson on Rosh Hashana appear and you are very soon out of a while, I have finally called my local some brushing up… some years earlier, when a young some sort of message that the year all know what to ask for. your depth with the various opinions Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi (there are Wishing everybody a truly wonderful woman who was standing next to me will be good, or at least better than the * * * and approaches, not to mention plenty to choose from, B”H), and have 5782, beginning to end!!!! in shul started to lean on me, and then previous one, not more of the same. In one way at least, this coming year

48 24 Elul 5781 DeliciousToby Klein recipes Cate a Apple kugel

This wonderful recipe is suitable both as a side dish for ¼ oz baking powder the Yom Tov meals or as a dessert and it is best served hot. A teaspoon of ground cinnamon This is a home-style kugel that adds to the warm family A pinch of salt better you atmosphere at any meal. Ingredients: Preparation: 4 (sour) green apples Peel the apples, and slice them into thin slices. you deserve it! 1/3 cup sugar Grease a pan with a little oil and put the apple slices in the ½ oz vanilla sugar pan. 3 eggs Prepare the batter with the rest of the ingredients, mix well 1 cup of flour and then pour over the apples. ½ cup of oil Bake for about an hour at 375F. [email protected]

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50 2415 Siven Elul 5781 5781 [email protected] • 347.228.1198 • WWW.BENEFITHEALTHPROGRAM.COM • BENEFITHEALTHPROGRAM DeliciousToby Klein recipes WIN THE GAME OF MOTIVATION

Honey Cookies NEW! CONNECT

These small and charming cookies are especially suitable Mix the oil, honey, sugar, vanilla extract, cinnamon and for Rosh Hashanah and the upcoming Yomim Tovim. Their eggs in a bowl to a uniform light mixture. pleasant taste leaves a fragrance of sweetness; with a prayer In a separate bowl, mix the flour with the baking powder and hope that we will have a happy and sweet new year. and baking soda. Ingredients: Combine the mixtures and mix into a soft and uniform 2/3 cup oil batter. 1/2 cup honey Refrigerate the mixture for half an hour. 1/3 cup sugar FOUR Line a pan with baking paper, form small balls between A STRATEGY MANUAL FOR PARENTS 1 tablespoon vanilla extract your palms and flatten into a round cookie before placing 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon AND TEACHERS them spaced out enough to allow them to rise and spread 3 eggs while baking. 3 cups flour 1 tablespoon baking powder Bake in a preheated oven at 355F for about 15 minutes. 1/2 teaspoon baking soda Allow the cookies to cool before dipping each cookie in Mrs. Miller has combined new science-based thinking with a powdered sugar. generous helping of time honored and traditional wisdom to create a resource that is certain to be a useful tool in incentivizing For the coating: and validating today’s children and, in general, assisting them Tip: In order for the powdered sugar to remain nicely glazed Powdered sugar in navigating through the social-emotional complexities of our on the cookies over time, add 2 tablespoons of potato flour contemporary world. Preparation: to 1 cup of powdered sugar. Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Klein Director of Publication, Torah Umesorah

As I was reading this, I couldn’t help thinking about how good it would have been to have this guide on my bedside as I was raising young children and dealing with the attendant problems and challenges of child-rearing.

Susan Friedberg LCSW, ACSW Member Gestalt Associates for Psychotherapy

Mrs. Miller’s clear and concise methodologies lead us through a process of how to teach ourselves and our children/students the necessary skills to navigate through life. Implementing Mrs. Miller’s well written and researched techniques provide a life changing outcome for the home and the classroom. I highly recommend this book to every educator and parent!

Devora Thau, LNHA, MHCA

WRITTEN BY

52 3 Elul 5781 MALKA MILLER, MEd, MSEd Partners in Parenting Malka Miller

I have five children under the age of eight. I am a stay-at- Chinuch, that just like you would rinse off a diamond that home mother because my youngest has special physical fell in the mud, so too, you need to gently help a child reach NEED A MORTGAGE? needs. However, she is not my biggest challenge. Rather, my his/her potential to shine. four-year-old Yudi*, the fourth in line, is harder to manage He points out that parents and mechanchim who detect CHOOSE FOR... than all the others put together. If one of the kids gets pushed a behavioral difficulty in a child, may be quick to label RIVKY STEINMETZ down, Yudi is usually the culprit. Not that the others are him/ her as a troublemaker and mete out punishments perfect angels but Yudi seems to be the cause of most of the accordingly. However, in order to truly succeed in raising a fighting that goes on. When they are all in bed for the night child in the correct path we have to stop labeling, judging I hear a scream. The next thing I hear is, “Yudi jumped on and reacting with anger. The way to effectively change a me!”. He is quick to punch or hit and often has an angry look child for the better is to see his innate goodness and let him on his face. Yesterday when we were at my parents’ house know you see it. and the kids were given snack bags, he took one bite and Ideally, both parents should take the same stance towards then turned the whole thing over dumping it on the floor. the child. Unity is key! How can this be achieved, if due to At bath time he refuses to get personalities or upbringing, EXPERIENCE into the tub and then refuses this does not happen Depend on 20+ years of seamless mortgage transactions.. to get out afterwards, forcing naturally? us to pick him up physically In some families, Mommy all the while kicking and is the easy, permissive parent screaming. We usually resort but warns the children “Wait COMMUNICATION to offering incentives but he till Tatty comes home!” Benefit from consistent phone and email updates. is the only one of our kids who This conveys the message does not respond to prizes that the kids can get away with or privileges. Although I try their behavior -- until Tatty reasoning with him, most comes home. Tatty, who may often unsuccessfully, my be more strict or intimidating SPEED husband works long hours is now left holding the bag. Feel confident that you will close quickly and efficiently. and has no patience for Both parents, not only the Yudi’s outbursts so he usually stronger disciplinarian, are ends up screaming at him to charged with instilling good behave. Please share some midos in their children. In the CONFIDENTIALITY advice! case of single parenting, try Know that all your personal info will remain private. to be as consistent as possible with your expectations. I can hear your frustration. It When setting boundaries, is not uncommon for parents you can only be successful 732.987.7700 to have a whole household of when your tone and children to take care of yet facial expressions convey find that one child takes more compassion - not anger. energy than all the others “If only that child would How can you combined. Does this comment show compassionate RELY ON THE MORTGAGE BROKER THAT CHECKS ALL THE BOXES. sound familiar: “If only that behave life would be so disappointment in response child would behave life would to certain behaviors? be so much simpler!” much simpler!” Just as you still smile at your infant the next morning after There is much truth in the he has kept you up at night, saying that the child who is it is imperative to maintain a the hardest to love needs it the loving and caring stance with Rivky Steinmetz most. This means that every older children even when child needs love, a child misbehaves more than the norm they have misbehaved. As the Slonimer Rebbe points out, SENIOR LOAN OFFICER - NMLS# 29840 needs even more. It’s time to try to figure out what message an angry face or words will push children in the opposite he may be sending you through his behavior. direction from where you want them to go. 845.596.4917 HELPING PEOPLE, THEN HOMES. The Slonimer Rebbe writes in his sefer, Nesivos Obviously, if Yudi is hurting his siblings, you must [email protected] YOUR EXPERIENCED MORTGAGE BROKER

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intervene. But gather up all your strength to stay calm, When our second child was born, a wise mechanech while remaining firm. It may be a lot easier said than done advised us how to prevent our eldest from feeling jealous. especially when a lot is going on or your baby has woken up He said,” Make sure he knows he is your favorite.” We were from the outbursts caused by Yudi. But with practice it can shocked, as this seemed to be a sure way to provoke jealousy be done. Consider how you would react to the tantrum if in the family rather than prevent it. He explained, “Make your Rav or boss was standing by watching! sure that each one of your children feels like he is your Parents sometimes comment that yelling is the only favorite.” language to which their kids respond. However, I would like There is an art to letting each child know how special he is. to suggest that if you consistently speak in a calm voice even The oldest is your bechor so that child can be told that he is when feeling angry, your children will begin to hear your the role model for the others, as well as Mommy and Tatty’s words rather than your tone. best helper, and so on letting each child know how he or she Special Later, find an opportunity to talk with Yudi about is unique in your eyes. You can keep it just be between you behavior which is not acceptable, especially for a tzadik and him so that it becomes a special bond, rather than turn Grand like him (reminding him of a previous example of his good into a source for comparison. behavior will let him know you are sincere). Try and keep It is equally important for little four-year-old Yudi to know Raffle anger out of the picture. Instead, simply state: “I’m not that no matter what he does you happy with that behavior.” Staying will always love him and know he on an even keel is the key to making Not that the others are is good. He is good, but his behavior sure your words get heard. And choice is not ok. whenever Yudi does share or plays perfect angels but one Rabbi Shimon Russell tells a story Whoever sends in the nicely, be sure to comment how child seems to be the of a parent whose teenage daughter proud you are. answers to our contest continually acted and dressed in cause of most of the until Rosh Hashana more and more unacceptable ways. Let’s look at why Yudi might be will be entered in a One day when she showed up in an causing so much trouble. fighting that goes on. outrageously inappropriate outfit, grand raffle prize for Recognize All of us crave connection. We an electric scooter. are naturally social beings, which it dawned on her parent that she this place? explains the cellphone craze we was testing to see where she stood. see in society. People who are glued Was she thinking, “How badly do I to their phone screens are often trying to fill the void of have to behave in order to cause my parents to give up on disconnect or loneliness. me?” He looked at her and said, “There is nothing you can Send in your answers to: Children, especially, look for connection. Ever notice how do that will ever make me stop loving you.” Email address: [email protected] when you compliment one child for how well he throws a With Rosh Hashana upon us, we are reminded how much Make sure to include your name, address, ball into the air others instantly start doing the same thing, we want to find favor in Hashem’s eyes, regardless of how we and telephone number. calling, “Look at me!” have slipped up over the past year. Model for your children Correct submissions will be entered into a Many expressions of childhood defiance are attempts to unconditional love and b’ezras Hashem they will grow up raffle to win a gift card for a local toys store. test whether your connection to them is strong enough feeling connected to you and to their avodas Hashem. to weather the storm. Even children who receive regular Wishing you much hatzlocha in strengthening your doses of love will test the waters. connections! 2 5 6 5 7 2 1 8 3 Malka Miller, MEd, MSEd, acclaimed speaker and author of CONNECT FOUR Win the Game of Motivation Gift Card ( available on Amazon.com) creator of Team Magic Program for schools has 30 years of experience in academic 6 1 settings as a principal, educational consultant and coach specializing in bullying and social isolation issues. Mrs. 7 1 6 4 Miller is available for individual family consultations as well as to work with your school or community. She can be 2 1 5 8 7 6 reached at [email protected] 2 6 3 5 The winners is! Last week picture 5 4 3 1 Meir Berney Rachmistrivka Shul 3 1 2 5 8 6 in Lakewood 56 24 Elul 5781 Lazer Jacobs Sep 01, 2021 57 Kehiloth Kids Dina Karni

going to yell at me about something. “My friends and I tried to earn the What did I do wrong? I wondered. money for my lessons. We started an I was wondering how long I should odd-jobs business.” wait before going back to the “I see.” Mrs. Tuchman studied classroom, when Bayla came out. my face. “I didn’t think art was so “Hi,” I said, embarrassed. important to you. You don’t come on True Colors “I knew you would still be out here.” time or work hard in class.” Bayla took my hand. “Come on. You “Not true!” I blurted out. “I love art.” K Chapter 9 have to see what Mrs. Tuchman “Then why don’t you work harder?” wants. Maybe it’ll be something Mrs. Tuchman asked. “PARSHA good,” Bayla said. “Well, I didn’t always know I loved it,” I I dragged my feet. “Maybe it’ll be admitted. “I didn’t know until I found PHOTO” Recap: Chedva is relieved when “Thanks, Estee,” I said, but my heart too. something bad.” out I couldn’t take classes anymore.” her mother comes home from sank. It didn’t sound like Estee could “I’ll teach you everything we learn in “Why do you think that?” Bayla Mrs. Tuchman nodded. “I want to the hospital, tired but okay. She help me. class,” Bayla promised. asked. offer you a deal. You can help me arrives very late to her art class, “It won’t be the same thing,” I said. “Because Mrs. Tuchman hates me,” around the office here. In exchange, and is sent out by Mrs. Tuchman, • “I know,” Bayla admitted. “But I’ll teach I said. I will give you a discount on the price Can you the owner of the school. After you anyway.” Bayla got behind me and pushed of your classes.” class, Bayla gives Chedva the idea The day I had been dreading finally “Thanks,” I said. me toward the stairs. “Mrs. Tuchman I could hardly believe my ears. “I—I Solve IT?

came. It was Sunday afternoon. Bayla At that moment, our teacher, Estee, does not hate you,” she said. “Now, have to ask my parents,” I said. “But to ask for a discount on her art How does this picture connect was climbing up the stairs to my room. walked into the classroom. stop being such a scaredy-cat.” I’m sure they’ll say yes. And it sounds lessons. to this week’s Parsha? “It’s time for my last art class,” I “Chedva,” she said, looking at me. “I’m I don’t like being called a scaredy- great to me!” Before my next art class started, I greeted her. glad you’re here. Mrs. Tuchman wants cat. I let Bayla hurry me down the “I’ll call your parents and work out Name: Sarah Silver waited for Estee in the hallway outside “Are you okay?” Bayla asked me. to see you. She’s in her office. Hurry stairs. the details,” Mrs. Tuchman said. the classroom. I wanted to ask my Bayla stood and watched until I “But before you accept, I want you Age: 27 knocked on Mrs. Tuchman’s office to understand this is not a gift. You teacher about discounted art lessons. I didn’t want to see Mrs. Tuchman. door. Then she ran back to class. must work every weekday morning Marital status: Married 4+ But I didn’t want anyone to hear. “Come in!” Mrs. Tuchman called. for the rest of the summer. After “Hi, Chedva,” Estee said when she I was sure she was going to yell at I pushed the door open. school starts, you will come in on finally came down the hall. “What are “Yes, Miss Kaufman?” Mrs. Tuchman Sunday mornings. You will have to you doing out here?” me about something. What did I do greeted me. She was sitting at her answer the phone, run errands—do “I want to ask you something,” I desk, reading a piece of paper. Her whatever I ask you.” explained. “Could I get a discount on wrong? I wondered glasses were perched on the tip of “That’s fine,” I said eagerly. “I’ll work my art lessons?” her nose. really, really hard. You’ll see.” “A discount? How come?” Estee “I guess,” I said. down there and get back fast. I don’t “Estee said you wanted to see me,” “Then we have deal,” Mrs. Tuchman asked. We walked to the art school without want you to miss all the instructions. I explained. I was still hoping that said. “If your parents agree, you can “My mother is having a baby,” I saying much. I didn’t feel like talking. I gave my friends a surprised look. Estee had made a mistake. begin tomorrow morning at nine. explained. “She has to stop working We trudged up the steps to the Shira Dina shrugged. But Mrs. Tuchman nodded. “Yes, I And don’t be late.” and my parents can’t afford to pay for building, went inside, and climbed up “Go on,” Bayla told me. did,” she said. “Estee told me you “Okay,” I said. “Thank you so much!” my lessons anymore.” to our classroom on the second floor. “What does Mrs. Tuchman want?” I Last week's wanted a discount on your lessons.” “That is all,” Mrs. Tuchman said. “Go Estee looked thoughtful. “I don’t “Hi Chedva!” My classmates waved at asked Estee. “Yes,” I said. “A big discount.” back to your class now.” me. “Go downstairs and find out,” Estee answer: think the school offers discounts on Mrs. Tuchman raised her eyebrows. I jumped up. I ran upstairs, feeling ונתנך ד' לראש ולא לזנב" כ"ג י"ג" .Shira Dina told us you can’t take suggested classes,” she said. “At least, I’ve never Quickly, I explained about my family terrific. But by the time I got to classes anymore,” one girl said. I opened the door and let myself heard about it. But I’ll try to find a way situation. the second floor, something “We’ll miss you!” a few more girls out of the classroom. But I didn’t go Hashem will make you the to help you.” When I finished, Mrs. Tuchman was bothering me. Why was Mrs. chimed in. to Mrs. Tuchman’s office. Instead, I ROISH amongst the nations “Help me how?” I asked. looked me in the eye. “Miss Kaufman, Tuchman being so nice? I didn’t Shira Dina came up to me and gave stood in the hall, right next to the door “I don’t know,” Estee said. “But I’ll I want to ask you a question. Have understand. me a hug. She was crying. of Estee’s classroom. I didn’t want to do my best. I think you have a lot of you ever worked very hard?” Bayla looked as if she was about to cry, see Mrs. Tuchman. I was sure she was potential as an art student.” I thought for a second, then nodded. To be continued…

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