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FREE 15/03/01 Issue no: 1006

Competitions Life after the The Barearts Womb Phantom p7 p17 p3 p5-16 International Gala By Sariqa Wagely International Correspon

Coming up to the end of the international week, Friday night saw an impressive gala. Four of the largest societies on campus put together a spectacular show that had audience mesmerised. The vice chancellor kick started the evening by making the audience shake hands and greet other fellow spectators in their own tradi- tional way. This broke the ice and created an enjoyable atmos- phere that set the pace for the rest of the evening. The Korean, Asian, Afro-Caribbean and the Arabic society provided the enter- tainment for the night.

The Korean Society Kun-Jung Li provided live music with traditional folksongs, all played on a violin. The music was mellow and soft however this was just the gentle side of the Korean society. The melodious Tai Kwon do takes a step further tracks about love and lovers was followed up by the explosive and Fashion Show fiery action provided by the martial arts experts in Taikwondo. JungYoul Yee ,the president, introduced Taikwondo as one of lat- est sports to be introduced to the Sydney 2000 Olympics. The martial arts students had the audience on the edge of their seats as they decided to show us their expertise in how to kick coke cans – at the audience. No do not fear these martial arts students as are as friendly as Casper the friendly ghost, however I still wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of them. the president of the society did a very good job in getting his part of the show together as he had only been president for three weeks the audi- ence loved him with his sweet and loveable character.

The Afro-Caribbean Society The ex-president of the society gave us a brief but nevertheless inspiring insight into the tradition of Africa and the Caribbean. Everyone was dressed in their traditional clothes, the colours and styles were absolutely amazing. The music and dancing were so good that words cannot describe it. Whoever choreographed cer- tainly knew what they were doing, as the dancing was in another level. And whoah were the topless men oh so great to look at. Barefacts own poet, Maissa Hireka, was present reading her One of the Afro Carribbean many dance routines poem, “Black” accompanied by traditional drums and guitar. Their Question and answer session International style segment ended with more interactive dancing to ‘Sorry Miss Jackson’ involving more ‘mature’ members of the audience. I’m sure they weren’t sorry to get up on the stage and strut their thing. It is hard to describe their performance but the audience were buzzing all the way through the interval that followed.

Asian society We are proud to say we are part of this society as they presented an excellent show which delivered different colours of Asia. As many people know Asia is renowned for its very good looking women and this was no exception as shown in a mini fashion show, illustrating traditional costumes. The fashion show was very professionally done, the women dressed in sarees and Shalwar Kameez looked very stunning and glamorous. But as a females ourselves, we must add that the men weren’t that bad looking as well, as us Asian girls know it’s hard to find a damn good looking Asian bloke around here. As well as the fashion show there was also traditional dancing, performed by the girls and a little step for the guys as they were obviously shy. Each step of the dance was excellently, performed, was very impressive. Overall, the music A traditional dance was and the audience enjoyed every single bit of it. Belly dancing in action continued page 3

Student Council 1pm, Tuesday 20th March, Main Union

[email protected] News 1-3 n Features 3-6, n Barearts 5-16 n Lifestyle 18 n Sport 19-20 News 2 15/03/01 Editorial ps The battle between the Pahntom and Big sis is turning into a full scale war, who will win, stay tuned Editorial Team Another short one from me this week. It’s Comic next semester. Editor Relief tomorrow in case you haven’t noticed. So our Kevin ‘Living on the street’ Marston wonderful Phantom has decided that she’ll gunge two pps If you have nothing to do on Sunday pop on people live in the Union on Silly Night, next down to the sports hall and watch the Ultimate Deputy Editor Wednesday. The first person will be our President Frisbee Tournmant from 10am - 4pm . (Watch some of barefacts finest in action) Luke ‘Anyone for a’ Hickey Miss Fiona Wareham, since we have now collected the fifty quid necessary to splat her. Production Editor The other person is up to you. Look at page 3 to see ppps Sorry for any misunderstanding in last week Production Editor International Exhibtion article, the Arabic society does Andy ‘Bumhole’ Thomas who you can vote for and how to vote, it’ll cost you 50p a time and all the money raised does go to a fan- not contain Iran ian Society but is a collection of Editor-at-Large tastic cause so please give generously. Arabian Countries. Rumour has it that it’s tight at the top between Thomas W D ‘40’ Wells Tristan O’Dwyer and Lisa Widdows with Adam Jakeway and David Abbott not too far behind, but News Editor there’s age to go so make your vote count. Mike ‘Lotta’ Rolfe Thanks to Luke, Andy, Chops and Tom W who have done quite a bit of this week’s paper and to all the Political Editor contributors, who this week seem to include Zippy, Reuben ‘Stupid Hair’ Thompson Bungle and George. Obviously the Comic Relief spir- it is in the air. Features Editor ‘phased’ be hitting your news-stands again in May David ‘Mr. Constitution’ Abbott and so we are looking for anybody who fancies writ- ing for it to let me know. It can be on anything; a fea- Music Editor ture, an interview, a story, a review of a Owen ‘Marion’ Hazelby gig/theatre/book or anything else. If you would like to contribuate but are not sure what to do please contact Film Editor me or David Abbott (features ed) as we both are brimmed full of ideas. Libby ‘I’m’ Hurt Kev. Sports Editor Dave ‘Lamby’ Chapman

Marketing Team ...News In Brief...News In Brief...News Ali ‘Miss Piggy’ Danby Ellen ‘I’ve got a British Passport’ van Keulen Trouble at the Union are more than 100 vacancies in Guildford and the sur- Late last Friday night (9th March) saw an incident in rounding area. Around 30 full and part time staff are Comic Relief Editor the Students union which required police attendance. needed in the delivery centre, just down the road from The Phantom Flinger Eye-witnesses told barefacts that two males were campus, to fill the gaps that currently exist. The short- involved with the first male punching the second one ages have been blamed on the Royal Mail’s standard- Contributors for an unknown reason leading to a retailatory bite ised wage structure that means all staff are paid the Zippy from the second male. The second male was believed same, regardless of where they live. Here in Surrey Bungle to have been a guest of a UniS student. The matter is where the average wage is higher, the salaries offered George now in the hands of the police and the union disipli- seem less attractive then some other jobs, so Royal Lucy ‘Miss Naughty Nurse’ Andrews nary procedures. The eyewitness told barefacts that Mail find recruiting difficult. there were general problems on the dance floor for So, students, if you are struggling to make ends meet, barefacts large parts of the night, with ‘one too many idiots in the why not go down there to see if they can offer you any - Union House, University Of Surrey union’ for most of it. thing. Guildford, Surrey, GU2 7XH ‘Killer boiler’ blamed for woman’s death Tel: 01483 879275 Countryside Closed A young woman died when she and her boyfriend Fax: 01483 534749 Since the start of the foot and mouth crisis, large parts were gassed by a faulty central heating boiler. email: [email protected] of the countryside have been closed in an effort to Amanda Rhys-Davies, 24, and Wayne Court, 27, had stop the spread of the disease from one part of the only moved into the rented flat three weeks before the Deadline for Publication country to another. All the National Parks have been tragic accident. The landlord has been charged with closed, including the New Forest for the first time in several counts of breaching safety regulations directly Features and Arts: Friday 12pmNews: Monday history. Despite the closures and the signs telling peo- related to the incident. 12pm ple in case they don’t know, some members of the This should be a warning to all of you out there who public are still walking and cycling in the areas that are are looking for houses for next year. Make sure that officially shut. Most of the common land around the landlord has the appropriate safety certification Submissions Guildford is also closed and anyone found going and that the house is safe before you move in. preferably on disk / email in Word 6.0 Format, against the ban could be liable for a fine of up to Text in Arial, size 9 font £5,000. Phone mast ban Environmental and public health campaigns will be barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office. Foot & Mouth Grip Eased by Licences celebrating a small victory this week after Guildford The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily Some livestock have begun to move to abattoirs this Borough Council banned any mobile phone company represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the University of Surrey Students' Union week as Surrey County Council issues licences for the from erecting masts on the council’s land. Nick or the University of Surrey. movement of unaffected animals for slaughter. The Sutcliffe, the councillor who proposed the motion for This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission relaxing of the regulations on the movement of unin- the ban, said after the meeting: “I want to see a debate of the publisher. fected animals comes as a relief for the owners of the about the longer term future of mobile phone masts in All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published. abattoirs and butchers shops that rely on the meat our urban and rural areas.” barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. trade to stay in business. The licences are valid for He added: “Not only do the masts often have an five days and have strict regulations, which include a unsightly impact on the environment, but there is a Printed by complete health inspection for the animals when they great deal of public concern about the potential health East End Offset (TU), Bow, London, E3 3LT arrive. risks.” © USSU Communications Office 2001 NO Meat Shortages Local Man Charged With Robberies Butchers in Guildford have reported that the ongoing A man has been charged with the robberies of sever- Foot & Mouth crisis has not caused them to run out of al local shops back in January. The robberies are the meat. In fact the only thing to change from a month same crimes, which we reported to you in barefacts a ago is that the price of meat has gone up slightly. The few weeks ago. Paul Montgomery, 25, from Park public has obviously learnt from the petrol crisis and Barn, Guildford has been charged with the knifepoint not gone out panic buying this time when supplies robberies of two shops in mid-January. were threatened. Last time I was at the supermarkets they didn’t seem to have a problem either, so don’t Rights of way mapped in new project worry, at least not yet. The Countryside Agency will be launching a major project to map all of the rights of way and areas of Massive staff shortage in the postal services common land in England. The project will begin with Guildford’s postal service has been thrown into chaos the South East and include more than 4,000 square recently because of a desperate staff shortage. There miles of countryside. News & Feature 15/03/01 3 It’s The Final Countdown Hiya, it’s big ol me again.

In Gunging News (seeing as I’m in the News Section this week I thought I ought to be formal): This week has lead to some interesting developments with regards to the gunge. Problems have arisen in the Communications department, since alleged discussions broke down after efforts were made to try and make them talk. This has resulted in a delay for the team, merely buying more time for the candidates, and giving the Students of Surrey extra time to place donations.

In other news: Anyone wishing to place a donation on any of the Candidates can do so at the Union reception, or by paying various members of the barefacts team. All proceeds go to Comic Relief. Results will now be announced just before midnight on Wednesday 21st. If you do not wish to have an indication of the results, ‘then look away now’. Pre-election polls indicate that it is very tight amongst the leading four candidates with two others close behind . Here are the candidates:

David Abbott James Buller David Chapman John Geeson

Denise Goodwin Logan Hillier Adam Jakeway Kevin Marston

Tristan O’Dwyer Spenser Theobold Lisa Widdows Bulent Yazici

You will probably see most of the Barefacts team running around making complete and utter fools of themselves over the next week, just to try and convince you to vote in the elections. So please abide. It’ll only cost you 50 little pence to vote and all money raised goes to Comic Relief. The gunging will take place on the Union stage on Wednesday 21st March; Fiona (if the union staff have coughed up £50 by then) will be splatted at 11pm and then the ‘winner’ of the election will be announced and got at midnight. So back to the flans: Chef your time is almost upon us… and if your lucky I may reveal myself to you afterwards. Naughty nurse Jo P what is this I hear you have been up to…please expect retribution. Spikey Sawyer I here your past is about to catch up with you, hope it won’t be of the creamy variety. As always flanning requests to [email protected]

International Gala Cont..

Arabic Society performance was great, we This society started of with don’t even want to know their traditional foot tapping how she can bend her body dance - all the performers like that. stood in a line , holding each other and moved co-ordi- All in all, the night was just nately to the rhythm of the brilliant. This could not music. It was most fun to have been done without the watch and got most of the international society presi- audience tapping to the dent Mona Sahlabadi, who music. The fashion show was thanked immensely by was great, we didn’t know the vice chancellor. We that they had so many cus- have to say that we wish toms and costumes in all the there were more events like Middle-eastern countries. this as it really brought Each of the costumes repre- everyone together. sented a different part of Arabia. As we know Arabs are famous for belly dancing, and boy did we get a bit on show that night. As the belly dancer swayed to the music the sexual tension in the air was just unbelievable. This was one of the performanc- es which made even the old men (no offence) stand up on their feet and dance. The music was fantastic and the Environment 4 15/03/01 Greenbelt Vs Growth for Uni-S THINKING OF The Manor Farm Debate FLYING? You may or may not be aware sons include loss of wildlife habitat As already stated, the land is to ments across such as nursing, that the University owns a large and open recreation land, adverse be used in its first phase for extra which, with the proximity to the Planning a foreign holiday this area of land adjacent to the changes in the visual perception of student accommodation, and we hospital, seems a sensible propo- year? Did you realise that just Research Park and behind the the area both for local residents must all agree there is a need for sition. one return flight from here to the hospital. This land, as well as our and from the Hogs Back (an Area this due to high private rents in In order to continue to thrive, the USA causes more CO2 pollution current site at Stag Hill, was set of Outstanding Natural Beauty), town and the advantages of living University needs to increase its than the average motorist causes aside in 1965 for the long-term lack of clarity over what and how close to the University’s resources. intake of students in accordance in a whole year? Last year a development of the University. the University intends to use the Twenty-nine other sites around the with national Government policy. Friends of the Earth and climate Although it has since been desig- land, and a need to protect a part town have been investigated, but There is not sufficient demand for scientists produced a report out- nated as falling within the of the site which has historical none have been deemed suited to non-contact education that the lining the in's and out's of the Greenbelt, the University main- (Romanic) value which has not the University’s current needs – CPRE suggests would achieve econimic and environmental tains a planning permission out- been fully investigated. In addition the main problem being size and this increase. Restructuring the costs of flying. Carbon dioxide standing from before the change in there are fears that the University all the factors that go with academic terms would also imple- pollution is the principal cause of definition of the area. Now, as the wishes to use the land simply to increased dispersion of the ment a whole range of problems climate change resulting from University continues to expand in expand the Research Park, thus University. As it is, the University with staffing, researchers, accom- increased global temperatures terms of student numbers there is creating an enterprise site to gen- plans in the longer term to sell modation etc. Monitored and con- i.e. global warming. Unlike road a need for an expansion – accom- erate income, and worries over the Hazel Farm to help meet local trolled development of the Manor users, airlines do not have to pay modation being a key priority at extra traffic flow that any sort of housing demands, and re-accom- Farm site appears in this case to any tax on the fuel they use. This this stage (many of you, like development will create on already modate these students on either be the best solution, and providing acts as a subsidy in comparison myself, will have to return to cam- busy roads. They suggest that the the Manor Farm or Stag Hill cam- it is carefully planned to minimise with other modes of transport pus for your final year, only to be University should develop on other pus. There are no plans to expand environmental impacts I feel it and therefore there is less finan- told that there are not enough brownfield sites in and around the Research Park, and there will should be supported. cial incentive for them to reduce spaces available). Hand in hand Guildford, and adopt different only be 250 parking spaces on the What do you think? Greensoc their fuel output. Increase in with this go the longer-term strate- forms of education methods to site, matching a commitment by and the University are keen to world travel and the demand for gic development and relocation of maximise efficiency of the the University that the develop- know your views, so if you have an flights means that improvements academic buildings, and a University system (distance learn- ment will increase traffic flow by no opinion, please either email myself in aircraft and engine technology sports/social infrastructure. But ing, longer terms/ shorter breaks, more than 5%. Instead, the (Greensoc Chair – mu91ev@sur- will not be enough to counter the can these reasons really justify IT based learning etc.). University will be improving pedes- rey.ac.uk ) or Dr Malcolm Parry consequent increase in CO2 building on the Greenbelt – of In response to this, the trian, cycle and bus routes ([email protected] ), or else emissions. In other words, if we which a part is defined as being University has shown Greensoc between the sites, including the come to a Greensoc meeting are to lessen the impacts of fly- one of “Great Landscape Value” their actual plans and strategies, existing subways that are current (Thursday @ 6:30pm in Roots) ing, we need to reduce the num- which is home to a wide diversity and most of the objections raised sources of concern. and we can discuss it further. ber of flights we take and encour- of wildlife including some quite above can be nullified. While it is Later on, the University will move age airline companies to invest rare species….? inevitable that any building on the academic buildings and depart- more money into developing less Personally, I believe that some site is going to have some impact polluting engines and look into development should be allowed. on the natural environment, impact greener fuel alternatives. Friends Current regulations allow “institu- assessments have and will been of the Earth are trying to encour- tions standing in extensive carried out to ensure that as its age more people to take their grounds” to build on Greenbelt implications on wildlife are min- holidays closer to home, and land, and I feel the University has imised. This includes maintaining there are advantages to this - It is a need to develop in order to ‘wildlife corridors’ through the site, generally cheaper; You are less remain competitive as an Institute keeping large areas of land unde- likely to have to have all those of Higher Education, and also just veloped by concentrating building nasty injections now necessary to meet existing students needs. on the town side of the site initially for many foreign holiday destina- Greensoc have spoken with both at least, and in doing so also min- tions; You won't get airsick; You sides of the case, and their views imising the visual impact of the can get on with enjoying your hol- and plans are summarised below. development by using the areas iday by reducing the distance, The Centre for the Protection of least visible to the Hogs Back and therefore time spent travelling; Rural England (CPRE) are strong- Onslow Village (behind the site). In And, most importantly you will be ly opposed to any sort of develop- addition the historic area would be reducing the consequences of ment on Manor Farm. Their rea- protected. global warming.

Real [email protected]

By Shaggy/ Rob Haggart they can spot somebody about to Beer Correspondent go off on one. You know what, they’re right. There is a theory that beer was Real ale is a drink unique to the first made by the Egyptians UK, with over 2000 different beers around 3000 BC, not that this fact brewed (another good fact) the is going to lead anywhere, I’d just range of strengths, flavours and thought I would show off and drop colours is huge. And real ale is it in. So beer you’ve all drunk it, coming to USSU, well to spilt it and worn it. But there is Chancellor’s, with the beer com- more to beer than the Union Bar ing from a local brewery. The has to offer. Hogs Back is Surrey’s largest There are two main types of independent brewery with three beer: One is dead, this is beer that regular brews and over 25 occa- is pasteurised to kill the yeast and sional brews, which range from so stop the brewing process, The Hair of the Hog (3.5%abv) to examples of the type of beer A over T (9%abv). The real star of include 1664, Carling, the Hogs Back is T.E.A. Worthington’s and Beamish. The (Traditional English Ale) which other type of beer is alive, this won the best bitter award at the means the yeast is alive and Great British Beer Festival 2000 happy right up until the moment and the silver award in the best you drink it, which is probably not beer of the festival. the best image to have when The basic message for the hard hung-over, this beer is called real of thinking is drink real ale it’s ale. Half the people who have got something different, local and it this far have now put BF down tastes good. and run away screaming because Ocean Colour Scene

This Week in barearts: Live reviews, CD Reviews, OFU & GU2 Music 6 15/03/01 Music News Nigel picked her - Kym from Hear’Say U2 have had to add extra dates to the UK we’re still together.” Oh well, we can always leg of their forthcoming tour due to extreme dream I suppose popularity. All the initial tickets sold out with- Hearsay, the band from ITV’s Popstars, in a couple of hours and extra dates that have this week performed their first live were announced have also been sold out. show at London’s G.A.Y at the Astoria. The The band are now playing 2 dates in bands 5 song set, composing of forthcoming Birmingham, 2 dates in Manchester and 4 single ‘Pure and Simple’ (played twice) and dates at Earls Court, London. All the shows Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘Bridge over trou- will take place during April and with ticket bled water’, was filmed for the TV pro- prices ranging from £32.50 to £45, U2 are gramme and was well received by the set to make a lot of money from the shows. crowds. ‘Pure and Simple’ is released this You thought it was all over, but the Spice week (Mon 12th) and is expected to make a Girls are not splitting. Spice Girl Mel Cwho big impact on the charts and knock was reported to say that she felt “uncomfort- Westlife’s charity single ‘Uptown girl’ off the able” being in the Spice Girls and that she top spot after only one week. wouldn’t be returning to work with them, has Finally this week, Queens of the Stone now denied the split rumours. Speaking in a Age have been approached to play this telephone interview on Saturday mornings years Reading/Leeds festival which will be CD:UK Mel C said “At the moment we’re held between 24-27th August on the bank three day festival. If they are going to play We’ll try and keep you posted for more infor- concentrating on solo stuff, but no-one has holiday weekend. The US rockers have then industry insiders predict that the band mation. left the band. I’ve not left the Spice Girls, apparently been offered a “good slot” at the will play a low key one off gig for a warm up. Simon Robinson Competition Time!!

Hiya, it’s me again for the penultimate time ever, sob, sob and general sadness but despair not for I am going out on a high and have some Win a WAP Mobile Phone fantastic prizes to give away this week. But first, last week’s winners; Orange, the global communications company, offers well done to Emma James who told us that last week was International Orange on Campus, a mobile phone service spe- Week, and what a fantastic week it was too, congratulations to every- cially designed for students. The deal is designed to body involved. Anyway, Emma wins to tickets to Tuesday’s Levellers help make the most out of a busy social life at uni- Concert. versity so arguments over the telephone bill are a Well done also to Matthew Badcock and Adam King who won thing of the past. This exclusive pre-pay package themselves a bottle of vodka each. They told us that Russia is famous offers a 20% discount on voice calls and a 40% dis- for drinking vodka. And finally, six FNO tickets to tomorrow’s Orange count on text messages between Orange on night (worth £24 – not bad), went to Matt Sheppard who told us that his Campus users. favourite pastime was ‘getting up on a Sunday morning with a hangover As part of the launch package, Orange offered all to go to the library and film a girl licking cream from an inflatable shark.’ text media services free of charge until the end of Whatever turns you on Matt. January 2001. Now students can still receive one Usual rules apply, entries to [email protected] by 5pm Monday text media service free of charge, on an ongoing basis. There’s a wealth of topics to choose from, including 19 th March. sport, news and gig-guides, students can choose to receive regular updates or select the time they wish to receive them. Win The Annual and Launch Party Tickets Included in the price of Orange on Campus, students get access to Orange.net with email, 30 text mes- sages a month and email alerts to their Orange phone. In addition students can choose off-peak hours to suit The most exciting and creative talent from the UK, Europe and the US them. Customers who choose their own off-peak hours still receive a fixed off-peak time between 11pm and has been unleashed by the creators of Dazed & Confused Magazine – 7am and can pick an additional four hours from a list of choices. in the form of a freestyle retro-collection of ‘The Annual’. The style bible To celebrate this we have a Motorola V2288e WAP phone to give away, which comes with the Orange on revives the fondly remembered format of our childhood ‘fun books’ to Campus phone package. If you want it answer this question: bring together both celebrated and emerging artists, writers, graphic designers, ad agency creatives, illustrators, photographers, musicians Who is bringing the Freestylers to USSU tomorrow night? and filmmakers – all in the name of creative freedom. Topman, the high- street Menswear giants, have included a double page that displays the Purple highs and lows of fashion history. Orange With paper engineering techniques such as rubdown transfers, stick- Blue with yellow dots ers, Braille, die-cut shapes and even a flat-pack lampshade, all vacuum sealed in a unique, printed bag, Annual is also going to be a thing of beauty in its own right. It’s a collector’s item in the making. We’ve got 2 of these style bibles (worth £30 each) to give away and 2 pairs of tickets to the launch party at Dazed & Confused Galleries taking place on March 29 th. To win just answer this question:

What is the name of the current VP Sports?

Ben McCauley Luke MacKenzie Anna Stone Win FNO tickets

Fancy six guest list tickets to the last FNO before Easter (Friday 23rd March)? Well if so tell us

Who is the best looking member of the bf team and why?

I’ll go 50:50

come on, the beer’s Don’t forget to vote Kev for gunge not that bad! Live 15/03/01 7 More Life Off The Tramp’s Chest Arab Strap/David Kitt, London Scala, 26/02/2001

What a perfect night for an Arab Strap of the audience is caught in the cacoph- Strapping young men... gig, the skies above London are dark ony of noise as they play through most and miserable and nothing is going to of their new album 'The Red Thread' stop anyone from revelling in this mood. including the piano stomping 'Love Tonight's gig is more of musical work- Detective' and the sombre 'The Long shop with young student types sitting Sea'. However, further through the set cross legged on the floor smoking dirty you some how get the feeling that roll ups telling each other their own exis- you've heard it all the song before. tentialist bedroom tales which Arab Moffat's ramblings eventually become Strap so often sing about. The sombre like a drunken tramp's tales, funny at mood is set and David Kitt does nothing first but when they won't leave you alone to lighten it with similar poetic mum- it becomes a pain. Tonight it never blings that make him sound like he was becomes that bad as Moffat cleverly trained by the master Moffat himself. crafts his mumbles in between the lone- But there is something missing from some music create by Middleton and Kitt's performance and this something is the rest of the band. However, you get what makes Arab Strap so special, that the feeling that you have been caught is atmosphere. As soon as Arab Strap up in a thick fog. Your caught up in take the stage they create a stratos- atmosphere but really you have never pheric amount of atmosphere made up left the ground. of synths, bass and Moffat's indistin- Simon Robinson guishable poetic drawls. Every member We’re Still The Mods! Ocean Colour Scene, Mo Solid Gold, Reading Rivermead, 07/03/2001

Scene and heard

This was certainly a night to remember. with a couple of new tracks from their was truly amazing and the crowd were shoals classic 'Get Away'. Steve's guitar It kicked off at 8pm with Mo Solid Gold forthcoming album 'Mechanical totally up for it, which fed off on the work on this track is probably his most who played at our very own union on a Wonder'. They sounded fairly average band's performance. Equally good was defining and his feedback control was Sunday night last Semester. They start- and maybe lacklustre but this soon the classic 'The Day We Caught The great to watch. The band left the stage ed with a classy cover of Jimi Hendrix's changed when they played their clas- Train'. gain and came back on to play a 'Small Manic Depression without vocals. This sics. Running through hit after hit, 'The Faces' cover, which was real class and got the crowd clapping and shouting Circle', 'Travellers Tune', 'Better Day', When the time came for the band to a great way to finish. from the start. The Singer seems to 'Profit in Peace', getting a great leave the stage there was a constant have 'ants in his pants' as his jigging response as the crowd were constantly scream for 'more' and 'O...C...S'. As It was a truly solid performance from a about on stage and movement would jumping and surging. Steve Craddock expected the band came back on for an band that are nowhere near as popular suggest. He involves the crowd and was in particularly good form and must encore. Well actually only Simon or successful as they used to be. The plays to them and there was a big roar have changed guitars about fifteen Fowler came back on and asked what new songs were the only real disap- when they started to play the latest sin- times, including a few times during a the crowd wanted to hear. A resounding pointment as only a couple out of the gle 'personal saviour'. It was a solidly song. When the classic 'The Riverboat 'Robin Hood' drowning out all but a few five or six they played were absolute shining performance, just a shame it Song' (famed for being the TFI Friday other calls for songs was heard. 'Robin class. Notwithstanding this they per- was only a 30-minute set. tune played when guests enter), was Hood it is then' was the reply and the formed brilliantly in front of a passionate played the crowd went mad and the acoustic number went down a treat at a crowd and deserve all the success they When Ocean Colour Scene hit the stage band seemed to slow the song down point where the crowd were truly knack- achieve. half an hour later there was a lot of almost out of sympathy for the sweat- ered. The rest of the band came back Nigel Martin cheering and chanting. They started ridden fans. 'Hundred Mile High City' on and they played another Moseley Music 8 15/03/01

top ten chart position for the phonics. 7/10 N.M. Single of the Week SISTER BLISS FEAT. JOHN MARTYN - Singles Deliver Me (Multiply) THE HELLACOPTERS - Stereo The original version of 'Deliver Me', first (Mercury) CRAZY TOWN - Butterfly (Sony) appeared on The Beloved's 1996 album 'X'. This house cover, with John Martyn on The bad boys of the Swedish This single is a sudden swing in music style hard rock scene return with an for Crazy Town as it brings them into the vocals deceives the listener; the sound is a mixture of towering, ambitious strings and impressive array of solid, fast realms of radio airplay. Butterfly takes on the ROCK. Rock as it should sound simple electronic samples. The unusual sweet ballads of Red Hot Chili Peppers and like. The CD also comes with a rapping style of Linkin Park to deliver a punk pairing of Sister Bliss and folk-legend Martyn is surprisingly effective. 7/10 A.R. specially embroidered patch for edged choon. 7/10 K.M. all those hard-core fans who NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS - As I love to stitch their jackets up… THE STEREOPHONICS - Mr. Writer (V2) how can you say no? 8/10 O.C. 'Mr. Writer' is the first single taken from their Sat Sadly By Her Side (Mute) forthcoming album 'Just Enough Education Another beautiful ballad from Australia's to Perform'. It is in a similar style to songs number one singer… This song, with its from their previous albums but possibly not haunting piano chorus and the usual emo- quite as lively. This song definitely grows on tion Mr Cave puts into his singing will leave BRAVE CAPTAIN - Better Living Through chunky guitars a la Teenage Fanclub and you, on first listen it's bland but after that it you mesmerised. The b-sides are quite Reckless Experimentation (Wichita) clever lyrics make this quite a good single good too! 7/10 O.C. improves significantly. It should ensure a This is one of those CDs that grow on you… 7/10 J.H.

ics will undoubtedly sing the praises of 'Asleep In The Back', I fear the buying pub- lic however, will be more reticent. 8/10 A.R. Album of the Week THE DIVINE COMEDY - Albums DAFT PUNK - Discovery (Virgin) Regeneration (Parlophone) The duo return again bringing their electro The band's first album since leav- sounds of the 70's and 80's to the forefront ELBOW - Asleep In The Back Sampler ing Setanta shows a distinct (V2) of the music world. It's of no wonder that the change of direction. After the 'Asleep In The Back' is Elbow's first release album starts off with 'One More Time' and pomp and grandeur of 1998's 'Fin since leaving Ugly Man Records; it follows leads into their current single 'Aerodynamic'. de Siecle', 'Regeneration' is very the critically acclaimed 'Any Day Now' EP. The two contrasting styles you are met with much the band going back to The five songs reviewed here are a repre- run parallel with the Daft Punk's ethos of basics. The influence of Nigel sentative selection of what the LP will have uniting old and past styles of music with ele- Godrich (producer of Radiohead to offer. 'Newborn' has been earmarked as a ments of the house craze. 'Digital Love' fame) is obvious from the bleepy single and deservedly so, it's the best song takes smoothness of 'One More Time' and noises Jonny Greenwood would on the sampler. 'Coming Second' starts brings it down the funk style of the 60's. be proud of, and the many layers promisingly until it is ruined by the inclusion While 'High Life' takes on the 70's disco of sound on all tracks. But Neil of obnoxious, shrieking noises; evidence style and subdues it the Daft Punk experi- Hannon's inimitable style remains, that experimentation is not always wise. The ence. Discovery is an extension to where even if it is more introspective than rest of the sampler exemplifies what the 'Homework' left off and adds a taste of Air to on previous albums. On 'Mastermind', he says "you don't need an indie song to figure out band do best; Elbow write songs that never the Daft Punk experience. An exquisite what's going on". These can't be described as "indie" (particularly when they're on a label fail to elicit a reaction. Their songs are piece of work. 8/10 K.M. that distributes through EMI anyway), they are lovely, charming, simple songs with such melancholic trips, intertwined with occasion- recurring DC themes as love ('Perfect Lovesong' is dedicated to Neil's new wife at gigs) and al euphoria. 'Red' is the first single sched- religion (he is still rebelling against his bishop father on 'Eye Of The Needle'). The suits, silly uled for release; the song's quality parallels beards, cravats and smoking jackets have all gone, in favour of jeans and T-shirts. Much previous releases in every aspect. The crit- like the music - very simple. But in a good way. 9/10 A.W. USSU Stage IMPACT

Just over two years ago, Matt off in the modelling industry, and the perfume Obsession from the Show. your best to climb over it; however Milchard was the founder after many successful photo Calvin Klein range. In his spare Aside from all this the biggest if you fall down then try and climb member of a band, expected shoots and fashion shows to his time Danny enjoys playing the gui- achievement, for both Danny and it again, because if you truly by most to become the most name, used his many talents to co- tar and, like Matt, works out at the Matt, is being signed by JCA believe in the outcome, then noth- successful groups of recent present various shows including gym whenever possible. records. Other bands under JCA ing will ever stop you from accom- years. Comprising of two girls MTV and many other shows, along Starting off with a mini tour sup- include Deep Purple and it is the plishing your goals. and two guys, Matt being one side the likes of Jeff Banks. Matt porting the Ba Ha Men, Danny and guy’s aspiration to emulate the Looking to the future both guys of them, the group unfortunate- has also appeared in a variety of Matt have achieved a great deal in success of this truly great band would like to stay within the music ly split after about one year. music and pop videos, and on the the short space of time they have who are time and time again, cited industry; Danny’s goal is to After a period of solo singing, stages of many nightclubs around been together. Having travelled as the band that crafted heavy become a successful music pro- IMPACT was formed when the 19- the country as a highly successful the length and breadth of the coun- rock to a fine art. Nevertheless ducer while Matt is just looking for- year-old Danny Ross joined Matt podium dancer. In his spare time try with ATT (more commonly Danny and Matt know that it will ward to a lot of sleep! after moving to England from the Matt, finds time to practice many known as the two twins from ITV’s take a lot of grit and determination I would personally like to thank South of Spain. Since then martial arts and he continues to Fun House), playing to hundreds to accomplish this, especially in a Matt and Danny for coming to IMPACT have gone from strength study at one of the countries most and thousands of people in night- time when ‘boy bands’ are two a USSU for the night and, by the to strength, producing a variety of prestigious dance studios in the clubs and Students Union’ penny. They also realise that it reaction of many people in the music varying from Rock and Pop heart of London. IMPACT have gained the experi- takes a lot to earn the reputed $ Union last Wednesday night, to Funk and R&B with influences of Danny Ross also hails from the ence and confidence needed to 2,000,000 per gig that bands like IMPACT are set to become a stars such as Will Smith, 5ive and south of England but his introduc- play at bigger venues in front of Deep Purple earn. name for the future. the Back Street Boys evident in tion to the music industry followed much bigger audiences. Since Throughout our ‘tête-à-tête’ one For any further info please log on their music. a different path. Since the tender their mini tour round the UK, fact became clear from both lads. to www.meermusic.com and go to At last weeks Outrage I man- age of nine Danny has been writ- IMPACT have been recording their IMPACT constantly underlined the IMPACT or contact Chris Connor aged to catch up with both Danny ing his own songs and performing new single, due for release in the fact that if other people wanted to in the Students’ Union. and Matt and in the conversation whenever he could get the chance. very near future, in Marbella, go into the music industry then we had, it emerged that both had a In more recent years Danny has Spain. They have also played in they should keep trying and trying very diverse introduction to the stared in many television adverts, front of 50,000 people at the and never give up. Matt summed music industry. promoting a variety if products Cambridge Fireworks display and this up in one sentence “ If you Matt, born in Canterbury started including the soft drink Fanta, and appeared as guests at the Clothes come across a brick wall then do Watch out for the Ocean Colour Scene Competition in Next Week’s barefacts!!! GU2 15/03/01 9

Music 12 15/03/01 15/03/01 Story 13 Point of no return A short story Simon lay on his back staring at the plaster on the ceiling of the darkened room. The white noise hiss of the rain outside combined with the orange sodium glow of the street light out- side made the room unusually different from how it was in daylight. The noise of the rain was very occasionally broken by the drone of a car passing down the road outside the flat, but otherwise it was just the night and the rain that filled the room. It was 4am on a Thursday morning and Simon could- n't sleep. Simon was smiling and frowning, smiling because he had just come to realise that the most important thing in his life was lying asleep next to him; the fact that she was asleep was making him frown. Simon had met Jenny two months before and instantly got on; they were so alike it had been uncanny. But now they had grown to accept that they were just good for each other, no questions asked. Now he was lying next to her in bed in the half-light of the street lamps, not really believing he was there. Jenny looked so beautiful asleep; she was lying on side, facing away from him. She was naked and the covers had slipped to reveal her back, which in this light was a soft orange colour; the dimness making it look soft and flawless, the bumps of her spine were the only fea- tures. Simon had been awake ever since they had gone to bed, he hadn't been able to sleep because of how excited he felt just to be near her, and how she made him feel. He so desperately wanted to tell her everything that he felt for her, but the moment had never seemed right, something always happened to spoil it, or it had never felt right from the begin- ning. He admitted to himself that he had never felt like this about any of his ex's, never quite the same spark or anything like that, but maybe it was never meant to feel the same, and that's what made it exciting each time. Each little difference making him feel giddy with excitement and special just because it was different from the last time. Jane- Good sense of humour, but mean with it, Sam-absolutely stunning but dizzy as hell, Lise-Intelligent AND funny but never the long curtains to sneak a look at the outside world. The some strange reason. I can't tell you how I can't concentrate seemed that interested in him and then Megan, his last ex, rain had stopped now leaving the world soaking and misty, on anything anymore because I'm constantly thinking about she was the best of a bad bunch. Simon had gone out with the street lights leaving long smears of orange on wet tarmac you all the time, how I can't sleep at home now because I Megan for the best part of 18 months, she was funny, good and cars. He turned back in to the room and looked at her, miss being next to you and I'm thinking about you constant- looking, intelligent. She was everything he wanted; it was she hadn't moved an inch; her back was still turned to him. ly. I didn't think it could be possible to think about someone just a shame that someone else felt the same. It had ended He sat down on the beanbag that was slumped in as much, yet I am. It's, no you, are driving me slowly insane horribly, she had come home in tears and told him everything the corner of the room and just watched her breathing as she with how much you are making me love you. It scares me about this twat in her office that she was leaving him for. slept. sometimes that I love you so much and how I've fallen for Which was nice. 'God, you are so beautiful, you know that? You you.' But now he was with Jenny and things just felt dif- have no idea how lucky you make me feel, every day since Simon put the glass on the floor and got up off the ferent from the others, he felt that he actually knew Jenny. we met, I have felt there was more definition in my life, every- beanbag, he headed back over to the window and stuck his From the very first moment they had met there was this affin- thing felt good and right and great, you have changed my life head through the curtains again, nothing much had changed ity; a sense that they had known each other for their entire in such a way that I never want it to end because it will be since the last time he checked the outside world. There was lives, even longer than that maybe. When he looked into her too short a time with you. Am I making any sense to you? an orange and yellow smudge on the horizon, which sig- eyes, he sometimes felt that he was staring back at himself. Sorry, I was forgetting that I'm talking to myself. It's just that nalled the sun was coming to enlighten this little section of The rain was now gently rapping on the window as I feel like I have known you much more than I have, like the world again. The rain clouds had begun to clear and the Simon was sat up in bed, resigned to the fact that he proba- you've been at the back of mind for my entire life. sun was catching the high ones and made them look like bly wasn't going to sleep tonight. Every time you enter my thoughts, which is pretty beaten bronze. It was going to be a beautiful day. 'Are you awake Jen?' He whispered much all the time, I get this tingle up my back and I can't for He came back into the room and wandered back There was no response, not even a movement to confirm the life of me explain how it feels. Every day I wonder how I over to the bed and climbed back in, just to be next to her that she had heard him. can possibly love you more than yesterday, yet it happens again. He rolled onto his back and began to stare at the plas- ' Right I know this is probably the worse possible and it astounds me each and every day. I think I can safely ter on the ceiling again. time to tell you, what with it being the middle of the night and say that I have never felt the same about anyone ever. God, 'I feel better for being able to tell you this now; it's you being asleep. But I just have to tell you this now. I'm using every single cliché in the book tonight, aren't I? just a shame that you didn't hear a thing. But the thing is that I really cannot explain how you make me feel, the closest That's the thing about being in love and talking you've got such a hold on me that I would never be able to thing that I can think of to describe it is that I'm in love with about love is that everyone has written about it and said say these things to your face when you were awake. Maybe you, but it so much deeper that I could never do it justice. everything there is to say about it, that you can't help think- I will one day soon, when I get my confidence up and when You are so important and special to me that I can't bare to be ing that someone, somewhere has written what you've just it feels right to tell you. But all I want you to know now is that away from you. I constantly worry when you're not with me. said, it makes you feel constantly unoriginal. Don't you I love you more than you could ever know and that I want you It's crazy I know but you have such an effect on me that think?' to be a part of my life.' you've got me acting this way. You make me go completely Simon giggled again as he rolled off the bean bag Jenny rolled over and looked at him, it was quite out of character. Normally, I'm just this quiet bloke who just and wandered across the room to the small ensuite bath- obvious she was awake, and had been for quite some time. gets on with his life, not really letting anyone get too close to room, It had been added long after the building of the house 'I know you love me, Simon, and I do feel the same me, but when I'm with you I'm this extrovert that wants my life had been completed. He pulled the cord and was greeted by way. But it's nearly five in the morning so give me a hug, shut to slow down so I can enjoy it more, do you know what I the buzzing of the fluorescent strip light and the extractor fan up and go to sleep' mean? No, of course you don't, you're asleep. noisily wining up to a gentle hum. Even in the light Simon could see she was smiling. I love being around you, you make me this bloke that I've He leant on the sink and looked at himself in the 'So you… you've been awake… You heard every- always wanted to be but never had the courage to come out mirror, there were dark patches under his eyes from the thing? How long have you been awake?' of my shell and let happen. sleep he wasn't getting. But he was still smiling. 'Ever since you asked me if I was awake and yes, I I love you so much, that I couldn't possibly explain 'Look what she's doing to you, you daft sod!' he said did hear everything, and I love you too. Now am I going to how you make me feel. It's like standing on the edge of a to his reflection. 'She's got you so happy that you won't sleep get a kiss and a hug or what?' really tall cliff, a precipice, and you know that when you look in case you miss something. How'd she get under your skin Simon grinned as he leant forward to kiss and hug down your stomach is just going to explode with butterflies so much?' her, he felt as if a load had been lifted off of his shoulders and and you are excited and scared all at once. That's how I feel. He picked up the glass that was sat on the edge of heart. After he had hugged and kissed her, they rolled back I feel like it's a point of no return, that when I look at you and the sink, filled it with cold water and wandered back to the over, still in each other's arms, and finally fell soundly asleep. talk to you, I stumble over the edge of this cliff and I just fall beanbag after turning off the light. Once again he sat there for you all over again. Oh my god, I'm sounding so fucking in the semi orange darkness, drinking the water and watch- Stan Richards soft. This is what you do to me Jen!' ing her sleep. He chuckled at this as he got out of bed. He ambled over to 'You know, I wish I had the guts to tell you all this to the large Victorian bay window and stuck his head through your face. But I can't. I can't tell you how much I love you, for Classical 14 15/03/01 London Philharmonic Orchestra at the Royal Festival Hall by Alexander Van Ingen just because she isn’t at all fat and gives a “ray of hope”, and was ‘cello pizz was absolutely dead on. ly suspicious for tuning, but with has good looks, honestly. played spot-on together. A violin At the end, the solo violin soared the sombreness of the strings, sur- Conducted by Manfred Honeck, She sang a series of five songs solo gives beauty. However, this upwards – but stopped short of the prisingly made me sit up and get the LPO were in fine form, opening by Richard Strauss, who devoted didn’t quite get the iridescent touch note you would expect, leaving the involved. A violin and cello duet with Weber’s overture “Der over half his life to opera, and also I felt it could do with. Wild storms audience craving, yearning for him accompanied by violins 1&2 was Freischutz”. There were some wrote over 200 songs – most for from the timps and celli precede just to go a note further in the lovely and after a well-played horn lovely horn chords, generally spot- soprano voice (many for the sopra- strings and sequence. But tune, a triangle takes us back to on, both in terms of tuning, and in no Pauline de Ahna, whom he mar- brass swells such is Strauss’ the beginning music. The tam- togetherness. The following strings ried. during the verse mastery of bourine makes a short appear- pizzicato was similarly very togeth- Sung in the original German, “I “your storms orchestration, ance, adding well to the texture, er indeed – not easy with a large Wanted To Make Up A Posy” opens were wild, you he doesn’t let it before a few timp rolls. number of string players, and the with voice. The words were easily raged and you happen, Unfortunately, the bass drum and next section of the work sounded identifiable, making following them shook, like the instead amplify- cymbal notes after this were not quite Mozartian! Amusingly in the programme for the transla- surf when it ing the text of quite together. The trumpet arpeg- enough, after this came a part that tion an easy task. Strauss’ orches- swells” – some the song by gios were all right, but the xylo- was most reminiscent of a Johann tration includes a somewhat excellent “word nearly, ever so phone ones excelled! Strauss waltz! Some pleasant wind “cheesy” chord sequence, to lead painting” from nearly reaching Barbara Bonney throughout sang chords came and went, and then it into the minor key section. There Strauss here. a gorgeous, marvelously. Her command of the ended – very nice. was a delightful little solo passage Horn chords, wonderful, pic- instrument that is her voice is Next up was Barbara Bonney – from the clarinet, before the end, harking back to ture-book unparalleled (I suppose it would apparently a celebrated singer. I featuring some lovely violin play- the beginning a future… we’ll be, wouldn’t it? – but seriously, it say apparently, because when ing. little, but restful get there… was truly excellent). Her annuncia- Barbara Bonney: “She won me over asked down a crackling ‘phone line The next song “Pleasant Vision” rather than tomorrow. And tion was clear, and facial expres- - not just because she isn’t at all fat if I wanted to go to this concert, I was sung over a luscious string sombre, here of course, sions suited to the context. Vibrato and has good looks, honestly.” thought it was “with Barbarolli”. “cushion” reminiscent of a dream. accompany the tomorrow never was controlled very well – none of Thinking how good that would be, I The second half is very much a last “Rest, rest, comes. the over-the-top-ness usually accepted, only to realise that, of repeat of the first, and was played my soul” and the harp pizzicato The last song, and indeed the associated with singers somewhat course, the great conductor every bit as beautifully. Towards solo leading to the end was exe- last piece of the first half of the larger around the waist. Barbarolli is sadly deceased. And the end a solo violin had a high cuted well. concert, was “The Three Holy She has my approval – and so it turned out to be a singer. Now note over the orchestra’s thick The fourth song in this series Kings from the Orient”. The tune indeed recommendation – and she I’ve never claimed to be the great- chord, which simply blended won- “Tomorrow!” was equally good. The from the outer cellos was nice, but passed the acid test here: the est fan of singers (especially those derfully. solo violin over harp arpeggios was a little late and slightly away from orchestra liked her and her singing accustomed to music of around the “Rest My Soul”, the third song, most lyrical, beautifully played by the beat. The triangle reminded very much. Romantic period), but Barbara began with sombre, heavy brass the LPO’s guest leader, Alexander one of the Orient, and the oboe Bonney, an exclusive Decca artist chords, setting the mood well. The Kerr, and again at the end. The first solo did likewise. The timp notes Rating:****- since 1996, won me over – and not flute and harp pizz in between lines line repeated beautifully, and the under the triangle were occasional-

Unexpected Passion Surrey University Chamber Concert at Williamson Art Gallery by Alexander Van Ingen ing down a canal, passing under performers thus far played the drooping willow trees on a sum- finale to a Schumann (Clara) piano WIND BAND This was a delightful recital by a mer’s day, for example. Whilst this trio. April Johnson and Stephanie good number of young musicians. need be no less passionate, it Oade, along with Stephanie’s The first item was most amusing wouldn’t be quite so like Tosca’s mother, Julie, on the piano, gave a (and I was also roped in to page- throws of emotion before she leaps most convincing performance. turn at the last minute). It was of the balcony. Some of the ensemble, though, Quilter’s “Children’s Overture”, a Through a Scottish Reel, a spot occasionally felt a little forced, with CONCERT piece I didn’t know by a composer of Puccini (“O mio babino caro”) people wanting to do their own I’d never heard of. Played by Justin and a Heller “Etude”, to Kreisler’s thing, rather than all playing Martindale and Adam Duncan, it “Liebesleid”. Played expertly by together completely. Given the was, basically, a medley of nursery April Johnson, this is a lovely violin short rehearsal time they had, Tuesday 20th March 2001 @ 7:30pm rhymes, and other similar chil- piece. An influence similar to that however, they pulled off this diffi- PATS Studio 1 dren’s songs. Some were quite seen on many pupils of the Royal cult work wonderfully. basic in conception and orchestra- Northern School of Music on A Hess pastorale and a Bach tion, but others were far more elab- Giga followed, before David Gould orate. Some of the harmonies in had a bash at the first movement of 'The Simpsons' “Baa Baa Black Sheep” were sim- Brahms’ E minor Sonata for ‘cello. ply gorgeous, and there were quite This was reasonable, but there Disney Highlights a few ‘Howellian’ moments. were errors in places. Once he had 'Seven Years in Tibet', We moved on to the 2nd move- got through two pages, it substan- ment of Mozart’s Concerto in G, tially improved, as he found himself played capably on the flute by concentrating on the music, rather plus traditional repertoire - Elgar, Sibelius, Wagner, Josie Dickinson, before ‘cellist than the audience. It certainly was- Vaughan Williams…… Stephanie Oade gave us an excel- n’t because the piece gets any lent rendition of Saint-Saens’ “Le easier – from experience I can tell Cygne”. This was perfectly in tune, you that it doesn’t! Featuring 'Over the Rainbow' and her sound filled the gallery A spot of Faure for a flute, and beautifully. She played with pas - then the last item, “Maracatu and sung by Union President sion unexpected of one as young Compasa” for a drum ensemble. (15) – though this, I felt, was per- Nothing like the rest of the after- FIONA WAREHAM haps not entirely appropriate. If Roger Quilter, 1877-1953 noon, this was a definite wake-up you forgot the piece’s title, and lis- call for those who had been lulled tened, it was indeed a fantastic Manchester (that of over to sleep! A foot-tapping piece, the performance. However, when Romanticity, and over vibrato) was rhythmic theme stayed in my head bearing in mind that this is called slightly evident, creeping through, for several hours afterwards. “The Swan”, I felt it could have but not enough to taint a sound done with much less vibrato, and a performance. Rating:***— relaxed, elegant feel – a swan glid- After the interval, the two “best”

Do you want to become a Millennium Volunteer? email: [email protected] 15/03/01 Film 15 We’ll Wait Until After P.E., Once The You’ve Loosened Up Student Porn just isn’t scared anymore. colonists actually took to their Sunday. When I was a kid, the highest form arms as a consequence of a pass- Next Wednesday, University Arts of cinematic entertainment was a ing fad amongst English tourists Cinema will be showing Fritz pseudo-legendary pornographical for violating buffalo, but this tends Lang’s “M”. An uncontestable tri- Alphabet film called “Animal Farm”, the con- to be overlooked by contemporary umph, “M” is a solemn and insight- tent of which needs no synopsis. historians. ful portrait of a city in the grip of This was allegedly owned on Roland Emmerich’s film plunges terror as a psychopathic child killer A - Alcohol: The key to surviving university VHS by Mick Farrell’s elder broth- us into the midst of this passionate roams free. Lang uses the film to er, but somehow it was always on conflict at the grass-roots level. analyze how the entire city reacts B - Beer: The most dangerous alcohol of all, but great for chug- loan to one of his friends. We are shown the consequences to the crimes amongst their midst - ging Considering that Mick Farrell’s of the War on the families and and attempt to understand the elder brother worked in the local homesteads of America. And it’s killer. Understand, not sympathise; C - Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday Co-Op and was widely rumoured all very heart-pounding and sensi- and Peter Lorre’s performance as night party to have casseroled a hamster, it tive, whilst having some panoram - the child killer brings this under- seemed quite unlikely that any of ic battle scenes that rival the standing vividly to the screen, as D - Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every student, usually these equally elusive friends exist- impact of “Saving Private Ryan” - both the law and the underworld done pathetically, in a meat market. ed - but somehow, no-one ever, which, incidentally, was also close upon him. ever raised this point in his scripted by Roland Rodat. University Arts Cinema shall be E - Emergency: A complete lack of A company. There’s Mel Gibson. There’s Tom screening Fritz Lang’s “M” in Now. Wilkinson. There’s “handsome Lecture Theatre G at 8pm, next F - Fucked Up: Signified by having your head in the toilet, puking That sort of thing just doesn’t Australian” Heath Ledger as his Wednesday. It’s not quite as much your guts out happen in America. And it stands defiant and insubordinate son, fun as “The Patriot”, but it’s a bet- as an eternal testament to the who isn’t about to let being hanged ter film. G - Games: Anything that involves cards, dice and the loser having to foresight of our transatlantic deter him from fighting the indiffer- drink so much they get F’d friends that they saw the English ent fight. It’s a rather long film. It’s [this week’s column written by predilection for bestiality as far pretty good. We’ll be showing it in Encrocklement McRedie] H - Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was. ago as the 18th century. American Lecture Theatre G at 8pm this I - Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party

J - Jail: Where you’ll end up after vomiting over a copper

K - Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers

L - Lord, Dear: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol

M - Money: That which you no longer have due to too much A

N - Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside some- one you don’t know

O - Oh shit!: What you scream as you’re falling down the stairs. Usually due to trying to pull your trousers on whilst in the process of running away from whatever it was that made you N

P - Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer

Q - Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning- YUCK!

R - Reform: What you promise god you will do while you’re puking in the toilet

S - Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk

T - Ten: The number of kidneys you’re allowed on the NHS

U - Underage: Investigate this before S otherwise it will lead to J if you’re found out and A when YOU find out

V - Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour

W - Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomor- row

X – X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it

Y - Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end

Z – The mark you’ll get in your final exams. See all entries above.

Tom Wells

Gossip, Sex and The Universe 15/03/01 17

Big Sister LIFE AFTER Security have been called out to several houses this was anything to go by it wasn't a night to be missed. THE week, but one in particular drew our attention. At five, Chancellors on saturday got sparks flying. Motion, have early in the morning there was a phone call from a student you been taking advice from GMas? There was certainly asking for help because she had lost her keys...but why trouble in your ocean, you couldn't hear yourself think with WOMB had she only realised at that time? It seems she had spent that incessant noise you were playing. It seemed there by Rich W the night with a bloke but when he decided he wasn't get- was a bit of attitude on your part when you were asked to ting his fill of oats, he wanted her out. Even the excuse turn it down. Oh dear, did you need another smoke to calm she had lost her keys failed to keep her in his bed. your nerves boys? Isn’t sleep a funny thing? I’ve often Naughty naughty! Big sister has its own goss, in that we have changed our thought that out of all the things us Saturday night seemed to be the night of all nights! A address. You can now write to us on humans regard as beneficial to us party in Stag Hill 40 kept nearby residents awake with the [email protected] that we count sleep somewhere near beat of greek music and the smell of feta cheese. The the bottom, along with irrigation of naughty antics that were going on in that house are too Boa one sort or another and the ability to hot to mention, but if the state of the outside of the house gargle. I for one have a tremendous affinity with sleep: more often than not you will find me curled up with my teddy-bear enjoying the little plays that my mind puts on for me while I wander the hills and valleys of slumberland; one of the worst Caught on Camera things imaginable for me is that feeling just after you throw back your duvet when the cold of the morning air first hits you and you realize it’s going to be another day until your bed and you are re-united again; one of the best things I can imagine is waking up at around 11am and knowing that you don’t have to get up until much, much later in the afternoon. These are, in fact, the moments I live for. A funny one is when you wake up about twenty minutes before your alarm goes off: what invariably happens is that you lie there, totally aware that in a short amount of time you will have to get up and face the perils of the day, and instead of being bothered by this thought, you kind of doze- it really is just the best thing in the whole wide world. There really is no describing that sensation of stealing those few minutes when it seems like you’ve hit the ‘pause’ button and no-one can touch you. If I had to liken it to something, then it would be like get- ting in from a rather hefty night out and finding you still have a Where is he now? (back row far right) ten pound note in your pocket. Of course, the best thing about sleeping is dreaming - it affords you the opportunity to do pretty much what the hell you like and the comfort of non-chance to laugh about it afterwards. Everyone has the weirdest dreams and everyone is ok with that: social accommodation and acceptance at its best. Supposedly, dreams are meant to mean something. Now, I’m perfectly willing to accept that (I have no reason to believe to the contrary); the only thing I would have to query, though, is quite what this particular dream of mine means: I’m sitting in my room, only it’s not my room. Well, it is my room, but it’s the mirror image of my room and so everything is back-to-front in a kind of opposite-way-around-kind of way. Then I get told that I have to snog one of my best female friends or I will die. So I’m faced with the choice of either the best friend who was engaged (as in to get married) or the one who is gay. I think you’ll agree with me when I say the choice wasn’t exactly extensive. So with this I am ok and I eventually opt for the gay friend under the thinking that it will mean a lot less to her and so she’ll be more comfortable with it. And then suddenly we’re all naked. But not properly naked, but more that kind of dream-like “I know I’m naked but no-one can really see anything because it’s only a dream and so it’s more the knowledge that we’re naked that is bothering us”. Let’s be honest, ambiguity in dream nakedness is a widespread phenomena. So anyway, I’m about to kiss my gay best friend when suddenly I can’t because one of my other friends (a male this time) insists on watching, and I If you have any photos or personals that you would like to see in bf, can’t for the life of me kiss the girl while this particular friend is please pop into the office or send us an email to [email protected] watching (and, in case you are wondering, no - he’s not naked). And that is pretty much it - I can’t save my own life by kissing someone because a friend of mine is watching. Should anyone This Week’s Personals know what that means, be sure to let me know. The other thing about sleep is that if you can’t get to sleep, *Grandad Mark house 63, Holby city isn't *Killer darts anyone?? Suggest a *KATTY(?!) RE:NATHAN/ESSEX it’s the single most worst thing in the world: you just lie there on tonight so you can come out. lunchtime start this time? PASS THIS ON... thinking about the silliest little things because your mind latches [email protected] on to the slightest thing it can. Should the corner of the rug be *Who the hell is Fat Andy? It seems like *Andy, Gav, Dunky, Mike. What have I slightly turned up, I’ll guarantee you’ll have to put it back down he really gets around... ever done to offend you guys? Why *I know more about Gazza than I know before you can sleep if you’re having one of those nights. d'you make'a Jez cry?? wankers... about my course. When are our “read Should you have neglected your daily ritual of 100 sit-ups, it’s a *Hey there country girl, all I can think while you pee” posters changing?! fact that won’t escape you until you get out of bed and com- about is beingled next to you right now *Tom Wells would like to apologise to the plete every single last one. Should you suddenly decide you ;o) Superb... general public, no particular reason, just *Danny is a whore. fancy eating an entire loaf of toasted bread, then just do it and felt the need to apologise. get it over with - the urge for crumbs on your chest will not sub- *Barron • You may think that we are *Jo Nobblett - have you not worked out side until you’ve eaten. chain-smoking alcoholics, but we think *Pete, still struggling??? the gantlet has who your admirer is yet? Surely ‘he could It’s just one of those things, isn’t it? If you get enough of the you are an asinine little twerp. Grow up, been dropped. produce some photos of you’ was a big stuff, then sleep is the greatest. If you don’t, then it isn’t. literally. P.S. We don’t want to play with enough clue from the Phantom. And But no matter what you do, be it pickle aubergine’s and grow you anymore you butt-grabbing, loudly *New dating agency for barefacts lonely what’s this that the bf team are all ugly? marrow’s or any of the usual stuff, you know that you will end swearing wanker. • S&K hearts, send all single women to the ed up in your bed at the end of the day and that ultimately, you’ll team. *dib dib dib? be a better person for it. *Hill5, Solley7, Sugarman8*, Fisher6, (Unless you’re in someone else’s bed: then you’ll be a slight - Chan5, Christos5, Eiffler8, *What goes well with Chops? *dob, dob, dob? ly-less-than-better-person because that kind of circumstance inevitably involves the compromising of personal morals and Hemmingway6, Read8, Wehr8, Shaw7, Stillwell7, Strutton6, Chris6. Sorry no *Mint sauce. *hmmm....it’s going to be fun!!!!!!! ethics). report, I can't think of anyone to insult *What’s the excuse this week Kev? Lifestyle 18 15/03/01

Dr Russ

Dear Russ body is either employed or summer months. with someone else. This pro- doing some sort of further Let me encourage you with vides you with an unexpected I still haven’t got my career study. another statistic. Large num- opportunity. sorted out. I’m panicking a Where is clear evidence that bers of Surrey graduates are So there are good reasons bit, but I haven’t got much many graduates are choosing known to get their jobs by writ- for not panicking! I would time at the moment to do to delay their career search ing out of the blue to an encourage you to concentrate anything about it. Got any until after graduation. For employer they fancy working on getting the best degree you good advice? example, every year about for. Once again, it is far easier can and apply yourself to your 30% of Surrey graduates to pick up these jobs when you career planning when time Dear Imran obtain their first job by replying are available to start work permits. You may not have to an advertisement. Since immediately than it is while anything fixed up yet, but if About this time every year, we many recruiters who place ads you are still a student. past years are anything to go hear of a number of final year expect applicants to be able to There’s also encouraging by, you shouldn’t have to wait students who say they are start as soon as possible, the news if you are thinking about too long before you dofs. worried that they haven’t got closer you are to graduation, postgraduate study. Once anything lined up for after they the better are your chances of Finals results are known, Russ Clark graduate. Let me say first of success when replying to an members of academic staff Careers Service all that this is not unusual. We advertised vacancy. Small have a better idea of who is know from previous surveys and medium-sized employers eligible for awards for post- that only half of Surrey’s grad- in particular are much more graduate degrees. If the stu- uates have something definite likely to look for graduates dent they had provisionally to go to by the time they finish after Finals. That’s why our offered a place fails to get the here. Yet we also know that own Immediate Vacancy required degree, they try to fill six months later nearly every- Bulletin is at its fattest in the the place, in rather a hurry, A weekend with Sheep Want a Job? O.K, O.K More realistically are you skint? Maybe we can help. The highlight of the moun- but getting there eventually). trousers so that he would have to taineering club calendar was The dinner went well, if a little go for breakie in his skirt – not a Guildford Job centre offer a free matching service to introduce Surrey finally upon us, a weekend of quickly, with GI looking lovely (!) in chance, GI chickened out and University Students to employers in the area. Previously, this could be climbing with a black tie dinner his mini skirt and then it was on to stayed firmly in his room until his found at the reception of the Union building between 11am and 4pm on the Saturday night. the awards. A few new ones jeans reappeared! on Wednesdays. However as of the 22th March the service will move Unfortunately, even though the appeared this year including the Sunday was spent on Tenby to Thursdays. If you require details of part time work don’t hesitate to weather was on our side (for Golden Haircut for GI’s mohecan beach in brilliant sunshine playing approach the employment service rep. Morgan ‘Trust me i’m a civil the first time this year), cir- and all the usual awards going to cricket, rounders, ultimate frisbee servant’ Laurent and he will provide you with details of jobs which suit cumstance wasn’t. The cur- those most deserving, with Tom and bouldering on the small lime- the hours you are avaliable. rent foot and mouth epidemic receiving tart of the year for chat- stone cliffs. Stinky was again the put paid to any outdoor climb- ting up a women who the rest of butt of several jokes and ended up ing at any of the South Wales the club described as a troll on a being staked out in the sand, (the AGM’s sea cliffs. We were also trip a few months ago. Stinky Pete fool even helped us set up the No Wave 22nd March informed on the Wednesday was awarded cowboy of the year stakes and ropes thinking we were Atheletics before we left that our pre for his interesting Czech climbing going to play volleyball), being GMR 7.30pm 15th March booked campsite for the Friday gear and the fact that he actually buried up to his neck and then, TB18 6.30pm night was now closed, this uses it and received two lengths of after stupidly putting sand down Nightline could have been a bit of a string that he will no doubt climb Evil’s trousers, was forced to eat Womens Football Week 9 Wed 6pm problem what with 30 of us on at a later date! sand. It can safely be said that Womens Football Venue tbc needing somewhere to stay! The annual vomit inducer that is Stinky is now somewhat paranoid. Week 9 (15thMarch) 8pm Varsity Fortunately Toms mum came the Chairman’s pint this year came Guernsey spent the entire day Canoe Club to the rescue and offered us a to £40 for the three pints needed, lying on a roll mat trying to sleep of Wednesday Week 10, roof for the night (and break- the addition of two measures of the previous nights excesses so MADSOC 1pm Haris' Bar fast in the morning) at her Pernod into the concoction made that he would be able to share the Monday 19th March house near Cardiff. sure that it tasted evil. The current driving with Senior on the way 7pm TB Ultimate Leaving Guildford on Friday chairman, Tom, and ex-chairman home and Matt attempted to recre- Tuesday Week 10 evening in a blizzard kind of made Jim lined up with Mags who was ate the Valley of the Kings in min- GameSoc 19th March 7pm us rather glad that we were stay - unfortunate enough to have her uture. LTA on Sunday 18th March at Venue Haris Bar ing in a house and not having to birthday at the same time as the The time came when we had to 3pm. camp! Arriving in Cardiff after a dinner. Tom bravely, if somewhat leave the beach and head back for relatively trouble free journey stupidly, necked his pint and even Guildford where we (somehow) Archery (apart from finding that the gear managed to keep it down, Jim and managed to arrive in time for last Fencing Sat 5th May bus had the worlds most dodgy Mags took a little longer but fin- orders. A fantastic weekend even Thursday Week 8 TB18 5pm steering and extremely intermit- ished eventually. Jim too kept it though proper outdoor climbing 7.30pm, UniSport Main Hall tent brakes) we adjourned to the down, but Mags became the first was not possible, hopefully the cri- Elec Eng Soc pub to begin the weekend as we member of the nights chunder sis will soon be over and we can meant to go on. club, probably a good thing when get out on the rocks again. Ski Club Tuesday week 10, 1pm, Saturday commenced with a fan- you consider what was in the pint! March 19th Grant Mitchell Room tastic fried breakfast (thanks again The rest of the evening passed in GMR 6pm to Toms mum) and we made our traditional drunken style with Dan Driscoll (USMC secretary) Badminton way to the Welsh National Indoor Guernsey Dave joining Mags and Economics Tuesday 24 April Economics 17.00 GMR Climbing Centre near Merthyr Sarah in the pukers posse and 20th March Tydfil. A good few of hours climb- Stinky being tied up with his own LTG 5pm ing at this excellent indoor wall award for no reason other than we Womens Rugby 24th April and we where off again to our felt like it. Womens Waterpolo hotel in Tenby (the gear bus taking The next morning GI discovered Womens Waterpolo 6pm Main Union Tuesday 20th March the most convoluted route feasible that Blondie had nicked all his 7.30pm Grant Mitchell

be heard

Communications Office Sport 15/03/01 19

Sports Day lowing will be required by 26th ST 2nd XI SSTL March 2001: Wednesday Pop Lacross st 21 March 2001 at the Varsity Bill Gates SSTL Centre Summer (Spring Semester II 23rd Thursday Cricket Get a team and be part of the fun. CCSR A AQABATS A April – 25thMay) Sports competitions all day with Friday Badminton party in the evening. Summer Vacation (4th June – AQABATS 3 AQABATS Sports clubs, Departments, August 24th) Racket Ball: Finals this week. Societies and Houses all welcome Autumn Semester (3rd September Touch Rugby: Finals this week. to enter. th Evening Soccer: Finals this week. – December 14 ) Racket Ball: Finals this week. Netball: Finals this week. Sports Club Space Do you want to enter a team Just a note to remind any sports Intramural Sports next time? Contact club wanting to book space at the This term has seen a great pres- [email protected] Sport Centre over the vacation ence from departments and many rd rd (23 March – 23 April) to con- of the competitions have now Exam Stress tact us as soon as possible come to a climax! [email protected] Try out a Reiki Healing Session Sports clubs do no necessarily Winners Runners-up a natural form of healing and is take priority during vacation time Monday 5-a-side Football ideal to relieve that stress. but we will do our best to meet CCSR Anwar’s All Stars Contact [email protected] your needs. Tuesday Frisbee or tel. Ext. 9975. Return forms for clubs for the fol-

SportingSporting hatE-mailshatE-mails Without wanting to get in any way much different result other than 5. I do hope that the person who finnicky and taking into account that which was posted during the wrote the article enjoys watching some of my points may have been race? the due to typing errors, can I suggest 3. It was Michael Schumacher’s Grand Prix in Singapore at 2 am the following ammendments to the fifth consecutive win, not his sixth! next week. I will personally be article, Formula 2001 from the 8th (the previous wins being Italy, enjoying the Malaysian Grand Prix of March isuue. USA, Japan and Malaysia last sea- in Sepang at 4 am! 1. I believe both Mika Hakkinen son) Yours, a very sad and nerdy yet and David Coulthard drive 4. Kimi Raikonnen did not ‘come in’ knowledgeable Grand Prix freak! Mclarens, not Maclarens - general- sixth. He came in seventh and due ly you find babies being pushed to the disqulification of Olivier Thomas Burton around in a Maclaren push-chair! Panis, was promoted to sixth 2. Did the writer seriously expect a place. SportingSporting VernacularVernacular Colours Ball (4th May) tickets are Anyway this week we have the mistakes in the letter. I have left now on sale. No really they are! proper report on the Surf them in to illustrate the point that Get yours soon. Social Sports Day Nationals, a Tai Jitsu profile, a let- no one is perfect. entries are due tomorrow. ter of complaint (!!!) and … Yes, Coming up next week we have Last week featured more points well, moving on. Birds Rugby and Ultimate Frisbee up for grabs in “Spot the mistake Just focusing on the letter regard- features. Bernie, sorry it didn’t go Chops has made” for quite a while. ing the “Formula 2001” article, in this week, if I didn’t have to type The heading for the RiFFle club although it may have had a few it up, it might have been. article was slightly misleading and minor errors, the letter itself illus - then a certain central word was trates that it is all to easy to do so. Chops misspelled a few times. To my eye there are four spelling SURREYSURREY PRIDEPRIDE SSURFURF CCHAMPIONSHIPSHAMPIONSHIPS SPORTS PROFILE: Even though we had a huge number of would wait until 10am to see if the surf TAI JITSU problems, the first BUSA National Surf had improved. By then only a few Championships was a great success surfers bothered to get changed and Warm up… and neither the men’s or the women’s paddle out and only one or two of the team came last. Despite trying my longboarders were able to catch any Name & age: Lorna Jones, 19 hardest, I was unable to get a full of the small waves. So we were told to men’s or women’s team together. wait until 2.30pm when another deci- Nickname: Kitten? Sadly the top two women we had lined sion would be made. The up were unable to make it due to work Championships ended up being called and our top man missed Friday due to off for the first day and with winds turn- work and was ill on Saturday. ing off-shore, the prospects for any Regardless, in what is the largest surf surf on Saturday were not brilliant. competition in Europe, our women’s Saturday was as early a start as team broke into the top 45% and the Friday had been. After I realized that men managed a top 60% placement. two heats at a time meant we would The first of our problems started get through them twice as quickly, when we went to collect the keys for there was a mad rush to get Duncan to the minibus. Due to the driving skills the beach and ready to surf in time. of someone who was fortunately not Somehow we managed it and in rea- “Does my bum look big in this?” - named (and therefore not killed slowly sonable conditions, he put in a decent Tom “trick surfer” Wells. and painfully), one of the wing-mirrors performance. Sadly due to the lack of on our bus had been broken off putting surf the previous day, only the first the face of the wave and finished the it off the road. As there are only two placed surfer in each heat got through ride off with two separate hang fives minibuses with roof racks we might to the next round. Everyone headed and some good board walking. If this have been looking at missing what is back to the hostel to get some break- doesn’t sound hard, Sam came third the largest surfing competition in fast and get warmed up while I stayed overall with some surfing which I con- Europe. After a little juggling we got on the beach to try to meet up with ex- sidered less skilled than some of what he displayed in his first heat. Tom put in another good showing for Sex Kitten! Surrey and one which belied his inex - perience on a surf boarddemonstrat- Best feature: My big stick ing some fantastic trick surfing such as the head stand which went on to be What you look for in a man or women: I couldn’t possible com- the most sought after move of the ment (photo might help here – Chops (Sports Ed)) Surrey teams. Sven “wheel spin the minibus” Bassett also had a good heat Availability: If you can find me even if the changeable conditions meant he had to work with fairly small 110%… Surreal waves and it was a big change from his home reef-breaks. Will was next Favourite position (this question applies to relevent sports only Duncan’s impresive wipe out! into the water where his windsurfing – no innuendo intended honestly): Standing over opponent skills seemed to cross-over effectively. holding his sword against his throat hold of the other bus and loaded it with Plymouth B team surfer Darren. His hand stand clearly rivaled Toms boards and wetsuits in time for an Finally we bumped into each other but earlier performance. Last into the Best thing about your sport: The weapons early departure at 6pm. After delays having spent the night in his car, he water for the men was yours truly. The due mainly to Tom forgetting his BSA was feeling ill and wasn’t too keen on less said about the pathetic excuse for Worst thing about your sport: Training Sunday with après membership card that I had reminded getting a soaking. He also had a cer- surfing that followed, the better. I can Saturday hangover him several times to not forget on any tain Sam Bleakley (European safely say that I deserved my last account, we set off. Annabel (of place with what was sadly my worst Best single moment in your sporting life: Catching a black belt Trampolining fame) was blessed with with a sleeper hold the presence of a working stereo in the replacement bus and for what seemed Ultimate sporting dream: to train in Japan to be most of the journey we were sub- jected to her “Cheese – love it!” tape, Worst injury: Bruised shoulder from a bad throw Shaggys lovely new number and of course her tuneful renditions of all of Sporting idol: Hatsumi the above. Arriving slightly later than planned Most embarassing sporting moment: My first backward roll; we somehow managed to find the new went sideways hostel we were staying at. This would Annabel in the quarter final! Annabel’s opposition not normally be such a hard task how- Tip: Never underestimate your opponent ever there was only an A4 poster in Longboard Champion) in his heat so surfing for ages. the window distinguished it from sur- essentially had no chance of getting The first of the women’s heats fea- Hidden aspects to your sport: That would be telling rounding houses. Inside, the only sign through. Watching his heat from the tured Annabel. Although she could not of life was one of the guys staying beach, we were impressed by suitably carry the nine foot board, once in the Cool down… there and a note on the reception door amazing surfing in small conditions. water she started to fly. With some telling us what rooms we were in. On his first wave, Sam got a “hang great waves and a couple of trick Worst fear: Nothing is to be feared, only to be understood Friday morning saw a very early five” (where the toes of one foot are moves, she cruised her heat for a well- board loading followed by an early over the nose of the board). On the deserved place in the quarterfinals. Chancellors or Roots: Chancellors registration and the famous Fistral next wave he took off with the board Next in the women’s event were Aida beach, breaks looking somewhat faced the wrong way round and spun it and Carrie who were both in the water You in three words: Erratic eccentric ninja pathetic. The BSA folk decided we round smoothly while dropping down at the same time, just in separate heats. Carrie did great regardless of advanced. her inexperience and so did Aida for More pictures are on the website www.geocities.com/surrey- making what she did of the waves that surf2/nationals.html and more details are available from were not quite up to typical Canary [email protected] & 07941035843 Island standards. Special thanks to everyone at the BSA and Jo at BUSA for Annabel’s heat on Sunday wasn’t making it possible, Duncan for his driving, Sven for his driving quite as good as her first round and and minibus cleaning and Carrie for her driver support. sadly the competition had improved. Cheers also to Tom & Will for their photography skills and Merely reaching the quarterfinals in Annabel and Aida for helping us make the Championships the National Championships was an such a great success. amazing achievement considering One of but a few decent waves that day. only the winner of each round Chops