’s STUDENT NEWSPAPER Of The Year 2005 Trinity News Est. 1947 Ireland’s Oldest Student Newspaper

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 [email protected] Vol.58 No.5 Rising Stars: Steve CilIian Murphy Clarke meets Bell X1 TNT MUSIC page 12 Interview Chomsky apologises to students for lecture cancellation Speech moved from Trinity to RDS, Three UCD lectures go ahead as planned

The left wing intellectual College in the future. role in organising the event. David Molloy also turned down an invitation In an email to Trinity A further lecture could from the University Philosophical News, Prof Chomsky said, “I'm not be arranged, according to Controversial American academic Society to address Trinity students afraid I can't help. I had nothing to Amnesty Ireland. “Unfortunately, Noam Chomsky cancelled a sched- in the Graduate’s Memorial do with the locations of lectures. his schedule does not permit him to uled lecture in Trinity College last Building. His office told the Phil All arrangements were made by speak to any of these groups [uni- Wednesday due to excess demand that he could not accept an hon- Amnesty International.” versities], as he will only be in for tickets, while three UCD lec- orary patronage of the society as “I'd be pleased if you Ireland for a short time and doing tures went ahead as planned. his schedule was already full. could convey my apologies to stu- media work, etc. as well as his talk Professor Chomsky apologised to Meanwhile, Prof dents and others at Trinity who on the 18th.” students for the cancellation and Chomsky delivered three lectures were left out in these arrange- Trinity students and staff said he hoped to return to Trinity in at University College , ments.” He added, “I hope it will were originally allocated 150 the future. including an address to UCD’s stu- be taken care of in some later visit, places for this event, and received Chomsky was scheduled dent debating societies, the not too long delayed, I hope.” only an extra 25 tickets after the to deliver an Amnesty International Literary and Historical Society and According to a College venue change, despite the greatly lecture on ‘The War on Terror’ in Philsoc. Over 3,000 UCD students, spokesperson, the decision to move increased capacity. the Ed Burke Theatre last staff and guests crammed into the the lecture from Trinity was a taken Chomsky made head- Wednesday, January 18. But the O’Reilly Hall to see Chomsky on jointly by Trinity College and lines when he told the audience speech was switched to the RDS at Tuesday, Thursday and Friday last. Amnesty International Irish that Ireland may be complicit in a late stage because the Trinity lec- Chomsky also took part Section. The College originally “the supreme international crime.” ture hall was too small to cope with in a book signing in Tower Records considered a video link between Described by as the demand for tickets. He was set and a private address to the the Ed Burke lecture theatre and ‘the Elvis of academia’, Chomsky to be the most high profile visitor Institute of European Affairs dur- the Examination Hall in order to is currently Professor of to Trinity of the year. ing his short visit to Dublin which provide extra seating. But the Linguistics in the Massachusetts Prof Chomsky, 77, is a ended on Friday. demand for tickets was far beyond Institute of Technology. In recent world renowned linguist and critic Prof Chomsky offered a expectation, the College said. As a years, he has become better known of American foreign policy who personal apology to Trinity stu- result the venue was changed to the for his opposition to American for- has been named as ‘the world’s dents for the cancellation and 1800 seater Shelbourne Hall in the eign policy, notably the Vietnam Academic Noam Chomsky speaking at the Amnesty International lecture at the RDS last Wednesday most cited living author.’ expressed a desire to visit the RDS. Trinity College retained a War. Photo: Dara MacDonaill courtesy of the Inside set to play Ball SU Nominations Open at a later stage. the price rise was “in line est album A Hyperactive Workout Get the lowdown on the latest cabdidate rumours John Lavelle Mr Hughes said with inflation.” Tickets are for the Flying Squad only reaching See page 2 that nothing has been expected to be made avail- number 30 in the British charts. Ocean Colour Scene are expected finalised yet but he told able for sale within the next The band, once to be announced as the first of the students to “expect a few weeks. described by Noel Gallgher as “the Society Funding headline acts for this year’s Trinity major announcement in The rock band second best band in Britain,” have Enda Hargaden looks at how much each society got this year Ball later this week, Trinity News the next few days.” MCD achieved critical acclaim previously been booked by MCD See page 18 can reveal. A source close to Ents promotions, which is with their debut album to play the Slane Festival in 2002 Officer Niall Hughes said that a organising the Ball in , released in and in 2004. deal had already been struck with association with Trinity 1996 at the heyday of brit- Ocean Colour Scene are Rail Rip-Off? the Manchester band. Ents was unwilling to pop. Their first single ‘The already advertising a number of Anne Marie Ryan looks at differences in student rail discounts According to the source, comment on the matter. Riverboat ’ was made gigs in Ireland in early May before See page 6 Ocean Colour Scene agreed to play Meanwhile, the famous as the theme tune of the Trinity Ball, which will take the Ball early last week. He added price of tickets is set to Chris Evans’ TFI Friday. place on Friday, May 12. that a number of up and coming rise to €74, up €4 from Since then the band has had Trinity Ball in depth: How Much is Too Much? acts would be added to the lineup last year. Hughes said that mixed success with their lat- Page 4 Christine Bohan looks at Trinity students’ drinking habits See page 2-3 TNT Trinity News Two Kearney makes first move Trinity FM in TNT returns wih features, columns, politics, books, theatre and more! See supplement towards modularisation piracy cock up the greater choice that it can offer Index John Lavelle students. Critics say that the sys- tion and could be subject to crimi- tem increases pressure on students Sarah Hickey nal prosecution. College News p1-3 SU & Societies p18 Trinity academics have begun dis- because of more frequent examina- A source close to the sta- News Feature p4 Comment & Opinion cussions about introducing a mod- tions and encourages students to Campus radio outlet Trinity FM tion told Trinity News that the situ- ularised degree programme to the forget about a subject once a mod- could face criminal prosecution ation came about due to a mix up National p6 p19-20 College. In what is being seen as a ule is completed. after the station was forced to stop in communications between the International p7 Letters p21 highly significant development, Some courses in Trinity broadcasting last week when it station and the BCI about the dates Features p8-10 Gaeilge p22 the prospect of modularisation was already have modular structures, was discovered that it was trans- for broadcasting in this term. raised by the Senior Lecturer, most notably Engineering. mitting illegally. Under piracy law, Trinity FM is only licensed to Film p11 Inter’l Students p23 Colm Kearney at a meeting of the Prof Kearney, who takes the station could also be subject to broadcast for three weeks in Hilary Music p12-13 Science p24 heads of department two weeks charge of the academic affairs of large fines and confiscation of and Trinity term. The dates for the Food & Drink p14-15 Sports Features p25-26 ago. the College, told Trinity News that equipment if the authorities decide first of these weeks were mistaken- Before Christmas, the next meeting of the heads of to pursue action. ly taken to be January 16 to 20. Travel p16 Sport p27-28 Trinity News reported that Prof department “would discuss the On Thursday afternoon The station has not made clear Careers p17 Kearney had introduced a proposal Kearney: Reform academic portfolio on offer, the plug was pulled on a broadcast what the actual agreed dates were. to scrap scholarship exams. during the academic year instead including the possibility of modu- when it was realised that Trinity Radio piracy is an If introduced, modulari- of in May. Modularisation could larisation.” FM's license with the Broadcasting offence taken very seriously by the Look out for Issue 6 in Week 6! sation would mean a radical over- also mean more emphasis on con- He added that following Commission of Ireland did not BCI with several recent raids on haul of Trinity’s course pro- tinuous assessment and more flexi- restructuring, it was now “an cover the broadcast. In effect this pirate operations in and grammes. Individual subjects ble subject choices. appropriate time” to review the meant that from Monday to Dublin. While in the case of would be sub-divided into shorter Advocates of a modular courses available in Trinity and Thursday the station was broad- Trinity FM the piracy was claimed ‘modules’. The final examinations system point to the reduced Continued Page 3 casting on 97.3FM as a pirate sta- Continued Page 3 for each module would take place emphasis on end of year exams and 2 Tuesday January 24th, 2006 News Editor: John Lavelle COLLEGENEWS Trinity News Rumours fly as SU nominations open All positions set to be contested

tion. Quinn, the current chair of Alex Gilliland is currently con- Úna Faulkner Students’ Union Council is run- venor for the School of ning against former school friend, Engineering and System Sciences, Nominations for this year’s John Tracey, a second year theoret- However, there are still Students’ Union sabbatical elec- ical physics student. unconfirmed reports that TNT tions opened on Tuesday, January The fifth candidate is JS Editor and CSC Secretary, 17 and already there are candidates Engineering student, Shane Christine Bohan, may be running confirmed for each of the five O’Brien. O’Brien, who ran for the for education officer. Bohan has positions, with one candidate, position of deputy president last declined to comment on the possi- Shane O’Brien, running in all year, has decided to run for all five bility of her standing. races. positions. This move is unprece- Denise Keogh, a fourth The most sought after dented as no candidate has ever year computer engineerng student position this year appears to be attempted to run for all five sabbat- has announced her intention of president, with five candidates so ical positions in the history of the running for the position of welfare far confirmed to be running. The Union. officer. Keogh is this year’s first name to be appearing on the Unlike last year, when- Equality and Equality of Access ballot paper will be that of John the position of deputy president Officer for the Students’ Union. McGuirk. The right winger, who is was sought by four candidates, this Also rumoured to be contemplat- a pro Nestle and Coke campaigner year the job has only been found ing a run for welfare is the Catholic and veteran of the Hist and Phil, appealing by one other candidate hard liner Peter Henry. has been rumoured for many in addition to Shane O’Brien. The position of ents months to be interested in the job. Simon Hall, a 2nd year science stu- officer has four confirmed candi- Following him will be dent and writer for the University dates in the running so far. Ross the name of fourth year economics Record had been rumourd to be Mulcahy, president of the Sci-Fi student Harman Murtagh. Murtagh intesteted in the poisition for quite Society, has decided to join Shane has a sports background and is a some time. O’Brien in the race. It is thought well known figure around college, The offices of welfare likely that they will be running and it is anticipated he will provide and education are not as hotly con- against two members of the Ents stiff competition for others running tested as that of president, with crew - Jane Cassidy, fourth year for president. only one candidate, besides from music, and Barry Murphy, third Those who have been Shane O’Brien, confirmed for each year pharmacy. following SU politics over the past of the positions so far. Nominations close on year will not be surprised to hear In the race for education Tuesday, January 31 wih election that third year BESS student and officer, which has never before campaigns for all five positions SU enthusiast, David Quinn, is gone uncontested, only one other starting on Monday, February 13. Clockwise from top left: John McGuirk, Harman Murtagh, Shane O’Brien, John Tracey and David Quinn also running for the coveted posi- candidate has so far declared. fo Provost goes to India Book of Kells will never leave Trinity again in search of students Dr Adams has described send the book despite recommen- Anna Stein this particular application as a dations from both the Council of Indian students attending Trinity, “general request”, and he went on Cultural Institutions and also the The Book of Kells, the most to state that “it is the Board's poli- then arts minister, Sile de Valera, to Katie Watson mainly in post graduate courses. To famous and important work in encourage interest and competition cy that the manuscript is not loaned refuse the request. Trinity College’s extensive collec- to other institutions, so the request The College has been at post graduate level, Trinity has tion, will never leave Trinity Trinity College is to become the created 65 research PhD stu- was declined.” home to the Book of Kells since College again. The College has There is some sugges- Henry Jones, the Bishop of Meath first Irish university to establish an dentships which will cover the full issued a new policy preventing the office in India, it was announceed tuition costs and also provide a tion that this alteration in policy presented it to the college library in book from being lent to other insti- has occurred as a result of pigment 1661. In a change of policy the last week. The new office in Delhi stipend for these students. tutions for the purposes of exhibi- will open in the summer in order to Trinity has centuries' damage done to one volume of the College Board has decided not to tion. book whilst in transit to Australia make any of the volumes available “try and raise Trinity’s profile” in long associations with India, and The College Librarian the country. many of its graduates served in during its last trip abroad in 2000. to other exhibitors. Robin Adams told the Irish Times On this trip the loaned The Book of Kells has The Provost, Dr John India during the colonial period. that he didn’t believe the book Hegarty and other senior Trinity There were lecturers in Hindi and volume of the famous book was only traveled abroad three times in would “ever travel again.” He was exhibited at the National Gallery in the twentieth century, and when figures are currently on a tour of Sanskrit in the College from the speaking after the College turned India along with Education 1860s. Canberra. The damage has been Kells Urban District Council put in down a loan request for the Book described by the College as a an application to borrow a volume Minister Mary Hanafin and Irish Among the graduates to of Kells from a Japanese exhibi- business leaders. Provost John Hegarty: Tour of India “change in condition”. after the ill-fated trip to Australia, make a life in India was Sir George tioner. The College decided to it was turned down. The opening of the new Grierson (1851-1941), civil ser- office is part of a drive to recruit students, saying that it is about we have complementary interests bringing top ranking Indian stu- in scholarship, education and vant, linguist and folklorist from more international post graduates south Dublin. His work is seen as to the College, particularly in the dents into Ireland. research.” Trinity receives in the According to the the foundation stone for Indian lin- area of science and technology. guistics and contributed greatly to Student dies in Buttery The Minister for region of €5,000 per year from College, the Delhi office and the Irish undergraduates. Non EU stu- increase in international students the modern understanding of the Education, Mary Hanafin prehistoric links between Indian attack on the premises to the con- The woman was a addressed fears that increasing dents taking the same courses can will make Trinity a more competi- Jonathan Drennan siderable shock of all present. mature student who had started an pay up to €23,000 per year, tive and more highly regarded uni- and European languages. numbers of international students Graduates of the univer- An ambulance was arts degree to broaden previous would take away spots in the depending on their area of study. versity. It will also well as provid- Tragedy struck in the Buttery last called by Buttery staff and the interests in her chosen subject. In a statement released ing Irish students with connections sity also established an Anglican College from Irish students. She mission in Chota Nagpur near Wednesday when a student col- woman was rushed to St James’ Her death has shocked stated that drive to recruit interna- by the College, the Provost and opportunities to pursue their lapsed and subsequently died. The Hospital. She died after a short and saddened the whole Trinity explained, “Trinity hopes to build studies in India. Calcutta in 1891. tional students has nothing to do female mature student, thought to time in hospital and relatives and community. with taking places away from Irish new bridges with modern India as This year there are 65 be in her forties, suffered a heart friends were notified soon after. Trinity news SUDOKU

EASY MEDIUM HARD 7 3 9 8 2 6 5 9 3 7 5 9 7 6 3 6 2 1 6 2 3 7 8 2 1 7 9 5 3 1 9 6 1 8 3 6 3 5 1 7 9 8 1 1 5 7 6 2 4 5 1 5 3 2 6 4 9 4 1 5 8 7 7 5 6 1 2 5 2 1 7 2 8 6 2 3 5 8 1 9 8 1 4 7 5 2 3 7 4 8 5 6 Assistant News Editor: Úna Faulkner Tuesday January 24th, 2006 3 Trinity News COLLEGENEWS News in Brief Coke ban costing SU €15,000 a year DUST, House 6 shop, Ents and Record all lose money in 2005 Trinity’s oldest living finances are only marginally not far on the horizon. “I think it can break even at least in €12,000 each per year as a result Jonathan Drennan improved on last year, with a loss “DUST is fine and we the next while, I want to give it a of national wage agreements. of almost €21,000 for 2005. The think we’ll make a profit,” he said. chance, we have the Sayit partner- On a positive note for the fellow dies at 103 The Students’ Union’s ban on sell- figure is down from the deficit of ship so this business is not a mill- SU, revenue from Student ing Coca-Cola products in their €43,500 incurred in 2004. Students’ Union stone as far is the SU is con- Travelcards has surged. Revenue The oldest living fellow of Trinity later. shops is costing the organisation The Coke ban seems to cerned.” from selling the cards doubled to College died last Thursday of nat- Prof Duncan acted as Finances 2005 €15,000 per year in lost revenue have hit the House 6 shop particu- In terms of the sabbatical over €170,000. The JCR at ural causes. He was 103 years an economic advisor to the De and increased costs. The revelation larly hard and it managed to lose Key Figures: officers’ own salaries and expens- Goldsmith Hall has had an upturn old. Valera government in the thirties came to light in the SU’s accounts €500 in 2005. This is a huge drop es, the budget revealed an in fortunes after losing money over Prof George Alexander and forties. € for 2005, obtained by Trinity News. from the profit of €56,458 the pre- increase in on both accounts. previous years. A new system of Duncan was the Professor of The Trinity flag was Total Deficit 20,937 In 2004 students voted to vious year. The downturn in for- Officers’ expenses have increased administration has been been put in Political Economy from 1932 to flown at half mastabove the ban Coca-Cola products from tunes for the premises has been to around €9,500 each per year place with improved advertising 1967. Duncan became a fellow of College on Thursday as a mark of Students’ Union shops in House 6, blamed on a lack of interest from Travelcard Profit 40,425 on average. and equipment leading to an the college at 27 and went on to respect. the Hamilton and St James’ the student populace who are opt- Mr Mannion blamed the increase of student customers from become a professor two years Bookshop Profit 3,796 Hospital because of allegations ing for various alternatives in the increase in expenses on the offi- the all over campus with particular human rights abuses against the city centre. Pool Table Profit 5,469 cers’ accommodation costs, say- prominence to the Hamilton build- Oscar winning director company. DUST has showed signs ing, “of our €49,000 spent, ings. €15,000 was written off of improvement but the travel House 6 Shop Loss 500 €31,000 goes on our accommo- Ents events made a loss by the Union at the start of the last agent is still losing money for the Hamilton Shop Loss 4,795 dation. We are paying for superior of €2,500 last year, compared to films at the Hist financial year in anticipation of Union. A newly formed partner- rooms and we also need rooms for €22,000 in 2004. The Union’s lower sales. It is believed that the ship with Sayit and increased St James’ Shop Loss 12,478 training.” newspaper, The University Record, It was lights, camera, action at The documentary will figure also takes account of costs themed deals are encouraging University Record Loss 4,861 Free rooms on campus and other publications had a com- the Historical society last premiere in the autumn and is incurred by the SU in escaping more students to use the service Ents Loss 2,690 are provided to each of the offi- bined loss of €5,000. from contracts with Coke over than ever before. SU President cers for 53 weeks a year. The total amount spent Wednesday night as an Oscar likely to be shown on Channel 4 Officers’ Expenses 46,462 winning film director recorded later in the year. The film will fridge space in the shops. John Mannion says he is confident Sabbatical officers by the Students’ Union last year the society’s euthanasia debate follow the course of Mr Overall the Union’s that a profit making business is a salaries have increased to over was €650,730. for a Canadian documentary. Minnelli’s work, which often Guests at the Hist inspires controversy abroad due debate included Mr Ludwig to patients joining him from Modular Minnelli, founder of Dignitas, countries where euthanasia is not who travelled to Ireland from accepted. Zurich to give his account of Mr Minelli told the courses organising assisted suicides and audience at the Graduates’ campaigning for euthanasia. Memorial Building that 70 per There were also speakers from cent of those who contact the US and Britain. Dignitas do not follow through in the Documentary director with the assisted suicide. John Zaritsky, who won his The Philosophical Academy Award for Just Another Society provoked the ire of the pipeline Missing Kid, filmed the debate Hist committee by refusing the for a documentary on assisted film crew access to its balcony to Continued from Page 1 suicide and Dignitas for CTV of gain an overhead shot of pro- Canada and Discovery Times in ceedings. that he was “giving College the the . opportunity to see if modularisa- tion was something that it might want to consider.” Publications alumni The Senior Lecturer emphasised that discussions were at a very early stage and said it return for celebration was “far too early” to talk about any advantages that modularisa- Contributors to Trinity College the journalist who almost ended tion could offer. publications both past and present Charles Haughey’s career in the Prof Kearney’s move gathered last weekend to cele- eighties when it emerged govern- mirrors the recent trend towards brate over a century of student ment ministers had ordered his modularisation in other Irish uni- newspapers and magazines in the phone calls to be recorded. Mr versities. University College College. The two day event was Arnold spoke fondly of his days Dublin launched its UCD organised by Trinity Publications, as editor of Icarus and TCD Horizons programme last year the student body responsible for Miscellany while a student in the with much fanfare and Dublin producing Miscellany, Icarus, early sixties. The LGBT society have launched a campaign to have the rainbow flag flown over Trinity College for Rainbow Week College University, University Pirhana and Trinity News. The receptions were College Cork and Dublin Institute Friday evening saw attended by a host of stars from of Technology all make wide use alumni and students gather for the world of journalism, in of modular course structures. Commons dinner, followed by a Ireland and the UK. Trinity FM: The pirates of House 6 A previous attempt to black tie reception at the Organised by Trinity introduce modularisation in Davenport Hotel on Saturday Publications Alumni Officer against the Central Societies chances, they said, of serious Trinity FM continued to Trinity in the mid nineties was night. David Symington, the alumni Continued fromPage 1 abandoned because of opposition The congregation was weekend was the first event of its Committee. action by BCI were probably slim. stream live on their website after to be unintentional the station from staff and students. addressed by chief critic of the kind. The source close to This embarrassing mix- the radio transmitter had been could still be subject to action Speaking to class reps Bruce Arnold, Trinity FM was keen to highlight up occurred at an unfortunate time turned off as their streaming taken against them by BCI. This the fact that the relationship for the college station with the license was not affected by the mix last week, Students’ Union could take a variety of forms between the BCI and the station recent agreement of a new spon- up. Members who had shows Education Officer Donal Jonathon Drennan, Fox Alexander and Kurt including fines, confiscation of remained amicable and that both sorship partnership with a promi- timetabled for Thursday evening McCormack said, Templer equipment, denial of further bodies were working together to nent music retailer. This deal was and Friday did not loose their slots. “Modularisation is something that license requests or even a legal suit resolve the matter. Furthermore it due to be rolled out for the next Trinity FM hopes to broadcast we’re going to be hearing a lot against the station. However as the was stressed that procedures are broadcast due in Rag Week howev- again in Rag Week once the current more about over the next few station is not a capitated body any being put in place to prevent the er possible action by the BCI could issues with the BCI have been months.” Some Might Say legal action would effectively be situation arising again. The jeopardise this agreement. ironed out.

Compiled by John Lavelle

“I hope it will be taken care of in some later visit. Not too long delayed, I hope.” Trinity disability access is load of rubbish Noam Chomsky, ‘the Elvis of academia’, speaks of his wish to return to Ireland and visit Trinity College in the future. Prof Chomsky is 77 Diego Cortez Piles of recklessly placed rubbish are “Life in College can be as exciting and as enrich- among many obstacles being placed in the ing as you wish (or have time) to make it.” way of disabled students by Trinity College authorities, according to a new The new ‘TCD Life’ website wastes no time rolling out campaign by the Students’ Union. The SU the cheesy clichés Officer for People with Disabilities, Ross Wynne has compiled a series of photo- graphs highlighting the daily impediments “I intend to transform the way in which legal facing disabled students in the College. costs are determined.” Mr Wynne has set up a website Minister for Justice Michael McDowell uses a visit to the to display photographs of disability Historical Society to announce major legal reform unfriendly features of campus. These range from negligently discarded heaps of rubbish obscuring wheelchair access to open thread stairs which pose a threat to The Numbers Game blind students’ safety.

Compiled by John Lavelle Right: Reckless An assorted pile of dustbins, wheelie bins and signs are carelessly strewn 30 The percentage of Trinity students who regularly in front of the braille map at the entrance to the Arts Block rendering drink to excess, according to the College Medical Officer, the building extremely difficult for Dr David Thomas blind students to navigate

9,292 The average amount of expenses, in euro, Top left: Filth A mountain of filthy waste is shame- claimed by each of the five Students’ Union officers last lessly heaped in front of wheelchair year doors outside the Hamilton building

Bottom Left: Outrage 5 The number of candidates who have already declared The stage in the Ed Burke theatre, Trinity’s their intention of standing for Trinity Students’ Union largest lecture hall, is still a no go zone for wheelchair users presidency so far, possibly because of the above statistic 4 News Feature Editor: Gearóid O’Rourke Tuesday January 24th, 2006 NEWS FEATURE Trinity News Who wants to play Ball? on release and the singles been more exciting to students than Hughes would not confirm on the Gearóid O’Rourke "", a Brit-Pop group who had their rumours of their playing. Birmingham based band Ocean "" and "Better Day" hey-day in the mid nineties. Early Bellx1 have sold out an Colour Scene have been confirmed all reached the Top 10. in the year a persistent rumor that upcoming gig at the RDS a month as the headline act for this year’s Following albums, while Bloc Party would grace the main in advance and may have the local Trinity Ball. However apart from well received by core fans, have stage at the ball circulated college pull that Ocean Colour Scene lack. their Riverboat Song which was a failed to make a huge commercial while there have been strong hints Furthermore the band are graduates major hit in the nineties only the impact on the charts and the band that Kildare favourites Bellx1 may of Trinity’s Engineering Dept and most die hard of indie music fans has parted ways with MCA on less also make an appearance. would have attendedthe Ball as stu- seem to know a whole lot about the than friendly terms, this time to set The chances of Bellx1 dents. band. up their own label. playing seem much more realistic, Another prime candidate Trinity News looked into A worry for Trinity Ball owing mainly to the fact that Ents for an appearance is regular David the bands history and found that as organisers could be Ocean Colour Officer Niall Hughes is a close per- Kitt who has appeared the last two well as being purveyors of glam- Scene’s recent leanings towards sonal friend of the band. Having years running as well as in the Ed orours indie rock and roll Ocean folkier, more introspective featured on the cover shots for Burke theatre in the intervening Colour Scene also seem to have a tunes,and recent sets which have Bellx1’s latest album himself months. talent for arguments with labels and become increasinly accoustic contract walk outs. Not a reasuring based. thought for organisers of the Trinity Nevertheless OCS were Ball. renowned in the past for rollicking Ocean Colour Scene was live sets and have played success- formed from the ashes of several ful dates in Dublin’s Olympia. Whether they can prove a big little-known Birmingham bands in Ocean Colour Scene frontman the late eighties including the enough draw to sell out the Ball is Fanatics, Echo Base and the Boys. in Miller’s stead but he too was Thomas to extricate themselves "You've Got It Bad", "The Day We a different matter especially with Managed by lead guitarist subsequently replaced by Tim from massive debts. This would not Caught The Train" and "The increased ticket prices. Students Cradock's former policeman father, Palmer, earning the band a reputa- be the first label they left under Circle'. increasingly expect big names to Chris, the band recorded their tion for being temperemental and acrimonious circumstances. However OCS failed to headline and organisers would debut single, "Sway", for the difficult to work with, something What followed were lean capitalize on this success and their have been expected tosecure an act Birmingham independent label that Ents Officer Niall Hughes may years for the band until they began next album was poorly received in with at least as much noteriety as Babyshmables frontman Pete Phfftt in September 1990. This was regret come May. After the release to get support from Brit Pop heavy the media with one journalist Bloc Party a reasonable success and stimulat- of the album Simon Fowler, Ocean weights such as Oasis and Paul describing it as "a grab-bag of Doherty. ed interest in the band from more Colour Scene’s lead singer conced- Weller, who described them as influences with nothing at the cen- Rumours always abound Over its life the Trinity Ball has featured some mainstreamlabels. ed “It hasn't really got much per- "English 90s R&B". This support tre". Nevertheless, the band's popu- in the lead up to the Ball as to who Phonogram Records sub- sonality.” and a tour with the aforementioned larity was confirmed when the is going to play and the names high profile acts that have secured its position sequently recruited Ocean Colour After this album the band Oasis helped the band win a new album briefly topped the UK charts bandied about this year may have as one of Ireland’s premier music events.These Scene for its Fontana Records sta- acts have included: ble at a total cost of over £1 mil- “The process dragged on for several months lion. This was a minor scandal in until Ocean Colour Scene walked out on their Supergrass The Rapture the music industry at the time and many commentators felt it was too contract using lawyer Michael Thomas to extri- much too soon for the relatively cate themselves from massive debts.” The Frames The Divine Comedy unknown band. Former Rolling Stones lost momentum and Phonogram's recording contract with MCA Asian Dub David Kitt producer Jimmy Miller was drafted excessive investment seemed to Records. in to work on their debut album, have been a step too far. The band Their 1996 single, "The Foundation Republic of Loose however, Phonogram were unim- were unable to convince the label Riverboat Song", was heavily pro pressed with the Miller recordings that their were strong enough moted on radio by DJ’s such as JJ72 The Music and his influence on the band. for a follow-up set and there were Chris Evans and John Peel, and Reportedly the guys spent more rumors of label plans to drop the became a UK Top 20 chart hit. The time trying to emulate the lifestyle band from its books. accompanying album, Moseley The Undertones Babyshambles of than record- The process dragged on Shoals, named after the region of ing tracks. for several months until Ocean Birmingham in which the band Death in Vegas Ian Brown Phonogram then installed Colour Scene walked out on their formed, followed in April, and Hugo Nicholson (Primal Scream) contract using lawyer Michael spawned UK Top 10 hits with Rumoured Ball act Bellx1 Alabama 3 The Prodigy Trinity leads Race Against Waste marked for newspapers only, by Cathal McCann dropping in glossy magazines, Spring is on its way and as the sea- problems are created for the TCD Green Week 2006 sons turn over, the grounds of Grounds staff and the recycling Trinity begin to take on a greener company further down the process. PROGRAMME OF EVENTS hue with the budding of trees and In many cases the waste must be re- the improvement in the lawns. sorted adding to costs and wasting Monday Keeping up with this is the annual time. 13h15: Launch of Green Week, with special guest Senator Green Week campaign which One of the more unusual occurs this year from Monday 6th stories of contamination recently David Norris. Featuring the new chemical and equipment to Friday 10th February. was that of several nappies being exchange initiative, and updates on other recycling and During this week a series thrown in a skip specifically conservation developments in College. of events will be taking place, rais- marked for recycling timber only, Exam Hall ing many environmental issues to the great annoyance of the staff especially that of recycling. charged with sorting it. The organ- However, outside of Green Week, izers of Green Week said, Tuesday all year round there is a constant “Laziness is not an excuse. 17h00: Discussion Forum, "Energy: Conservation and drive to increase the amount of Therefore, if you are going to recy- Sustainability." Speakers will include representatives of recycling that occurs in College. the past and there are bins all more needs to be done to encour- others on the grounds staff will cle, do it right. Wash out your glass the Energy Industry and Politics. Organised in collabora- The increase in waste around College for card, office age people to purchase products carry out quick litter patrols to col- jars; remove labels if you can and if disposal costs combined with legis- paper, newspapers, batteries, cans, with less packaging, to stop litter- lect the large amounts of rubbish it says office paper, that means no tion with the Historical Society. lation means that today homes, ink cartridges, timber and for clear, ing and to actively pursue options thrown away daily. This is despite card or gloss”. companies and organizations must brown and green glass. available for recycling. the fact that there are many bins As the amount Trinity Wednesday recycle portions of their waste for Nationally, waste dispos- recycles increases, the College 3h00: Tree Walk (guided tour of special trees at TCD) led economic and not only social rea- “Laziness is not an excuse. Therefore, if you Recycling and Environment al has become a major issue with by Dr Paul Dowding, Botany Department. sons. Trinity College has been communities up in arms about are going to recycle, do it right. Wash out your Committee (CREC), founded by proactive in this regard and one incinerators, landfill and bin the late Professor Simon Perry, will Starting from the Campanile. cannot but fail to notice the many charges. As a nation we produce an glass jars; remove labels if you can and if it be examining even more opportu- special bins and containers around excessive amount of rubbish, the says office paper, that means no card or nities to improve facilities and bins. 14h00-16h00: Simon Perry Memorial Lecture, "What did College for segregated waste. amount of which is increasing gloss.” Trial bins for PET plastic bottles the environment ever do for me?" given by Ms Eanna Ní Since 2000, Trinity has annually, and the reality is that have started in the Hamilton, but increased the amount it recycles someone must pay for it. The dam- Every day in Trinity placed all over the campus and that the biggest problem will remain lit- Lamhna (President of An Taisce and regular guest on from 1% of total waste to well over age caused to the environment by there are two dedicated staff mem- all of these are regularly emptied. tering and contamination of the “Mooney goes Wild on One”), followed by prize-giving for 33%. Much of this has been driven the phenomenon of modern pack- bers of the Grounds department During the busiest times of the bins. Environmental Initiative Competition. by cost concerns with the unit cost aging will effect generations to who are appointed to continually summer, some of these will be After every Green Week, Debating Chamber, Graduate Memorial Building. of disposal of recyclable materials come. pick up the litter that is dropped all emptied two or three times a day. recycling generally increases, and significantly cheaper than that of However the biggest over campus. They are the unsung We will always produce a littering decreases for a period of mixed waste bound for landfill. problem identified by groups heroes of why Trinity is noted as certain amount of rubbish per per- six to eight weeks. However after Thursday Added to this many more items involved in the drive to recycle is such a clean campus. son however it is becoming this it slowly falls back to normal 10h15 (Invitation only): Tea-party and raffle for may now be easily recycled than in changing attitudes. It is felt that In addition to this, many increasingly clear that it is up to us levels. This Green Week organisers Housekeeping Staff to thank them for their crucial role in to ensure that we recycle as much hope they can retain the momen- the recycling effort in College. Sponsored by tum and keep it going all year of this as possible. IPODEC/ONYX. The organizers of this round. Green Week are asking students to According to them their Dining Hall. “do your best to ensure you segre- message for Green Week is simple; gate all your recyclable waste and “If you live on campus or work in 13h00: "Building stones in College: a sparkling façade dispose of it in the proper bins. any departments, segregate your revealed ". A guided walk around the stone buildings on There is no shortage of these waste. If you see someone drop- around campus and there are maps ping litter, ask them not to. It is campus led by Dr. Patrick Wyse Jackson (Geology and descriptions of them all on the simply not acceptable any more Department, TCD). Starting outside the Museum Building, Green Pages website and punishable by fines and when New Square. www.tcd.ie/greenpages.” They you are fully finished reading this paper, you know what to do with it point out that many are indeed Friday availing of these bins, but the - Put it in the bin that will ensure it biggest problem facing the is recycled.” 13h00: Bird Walk (guided tour of Trinity birdlife) led by Grounds staff is contamination of Mr Aidan Kelly, Physiology Department. Bring binoculars what should be segregated waste. or field-glasses if possible. Starting from the Campanile. For example if a bin is

6 Tuesday January 24, 2006 National News Editor: Anne-Marie Ryan NATIONAL NEWS Trinity News News in Brief Irish students heading en IT Tallaght students die in fire in masse to British universities undergraduate and postgraduate institutions showcase their courses by most as being fairer in that it the “economic significance” of Two Irish students died tragically when a blaze broke out in their Jenny Gallagher students opted for courses in the to potential candidates at the takes a more complete picture of this. He criticised the Department in a fire in Lorient, France earlier house, caused by a burning ciga- UK for the 2003-2004 academic Higher Options exhibition in the the candidate into account. of Education and Learning for tak- this month. Patricia McDonald rette. The fire occurred at around 6 According to figures compiled by year. The popularity for British uni- RDS each year. Further statistics based ing “a very laissez-faire attitude to (21) from Co. Cavan and Carol a.m. on 6th January. The two girls the British-based Higher Education versities has been boosted by a With the obvious obsta- on research conducted by the student migration”. The UUP are Nolan (20) from Co. Dublin both had arrived home following a Statistics Agency, 14,715 Irish huge marketing effort, in which the cle of university fees and general Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) policy keen to halt this “brain drain” of attended the Institute of night out two hours previously. expense of study in the UK, one unit indicate that over 4000 first- talent out of the North as it carries Technology Tallaght and were The students had returned to must ask why Irish students remain year students leave Northern a serious negative socio-economic spending their Erasmus year in the France early from their Christmas undeterred and continue to migrate Ireland every year to attend univer- impact. They have responded by University of Southern Brittany. holidays to begin studying for en masse. It appears that the enor- sity with only one third returning proposing a number of measures in The two girls died of asphyxiation exams. or not. mous choice of courses is one of after graduation. This migration order to counteract this trend, the main advantages of studying in rate is startling when compared including creating more university Vacancies in USI the UK. This extensive range of with England and Scotland. While places and targeting of major busi- courses means that there are areas only 5% of English students leave nesses to create jobs for quality of study available that do not even England and 6% of Scottish stu- graduates. exist in Irish universities. Study in dents leave Scotland to study, a The president of after officers resign the UK continues to be a staggering 32% leave Northern University College Dublin, Hugh The Union of Students Ireland tions “are temporary and in favourable option to those trying Ireland to pursue a higher educa- Brady, warned that this “brain (USI) recently advertised tempo- response to the situation we find for more competitive courses such tion. drain” trend will continue unless rary staff positions within the ourselves in”. Neither of the staff Irish students are attracted by the lure of British universities as veterinary, pharmacy etc. The Dr Crowe, the UUP’s Ireland improves its resources in organisation following the resig- will be involved in decision-mak- UCAS selection system is viewed policy and research officer stressed infrastructure and funding. nation last month of ing or representing the USI on such as Oxford Deputy/Campaigns Officer Ruth committees. At the time of going Ní Éidhin and Education Officer to press the positions had yet to Daithí Mac Síthigh. The union is be filled. The former Trinity stu- recruiting a Campaigns Assistant dents and TCDSU officers with- Rip-off Rail: huge and a Representation Assistant to drew from their positions in co-ordinate campaigns and assist December as a result of their USI officers in the preparation of opposition to the proposed briefings for various groups reforms of the USI constitution respectively. USI President Tony and a poor working relationship differences in McDonnell stressed that the posi- with McDonnell. Meningitis cases at Iarnród Éireann debating champi- onships in UCD student discounts An outbreak of meningitis participated in the event held Anne-Marie Ryan increase of 3.8% in fares on servic- ed fare is far less generous than that occurred among the students par- over the Christmas holidays in es offered by Dublin Bus, DART, offered to Athlone students howev- ticipating in the world student the Belfield campus, with Hart Luas, Bus Éireann and Iarnród er, with Sligo students saving only debating championships held College of the University of An investigation by Trinity News Éireann which came into effect in 24% on an almost identical stan- recently in UCD. Three debaters Toronto eventually emerging vic- into discount fares offered by the early January. dard fare. contracted viral meningitis while torious. UCC was the most suc- national transport body CIE to stu- An examination of 18 Iarnród Éireann charge taking part in the competition. cessful Irish university, reaching dent passengers has shown major fares from the major stations in full fare paying passengers €24.50 One student was taken to hospi- the final 32 teams in the competi- differences between the savings Dublin to destinations around the to travel to either Rosslare, tal, while two others were seen tion. Two Irish students were also offered for different destinations. country show an average saving of Wexford or Dundalk, yet the dis- by a GP. There was no disruption finalists, representing universities For students traveling on Iarnród 34% offered to students, although count offered to students on each to the event itself as a result of from the USA and the UK. Éireann services, discounts offered savings vary considerably. Clear destination is 16%, 20% and 53% the outbreak. Over 1,000 students on adult return fares from Dublin to discrepancies occur where there are respectively. Standard fares to major towns and cities around the Students faced yet another hike in bus fares this month. Photo: significant differences in the dis- Belfast and Ennis are also similarly Brenda Meaney country can range from as low as count offered on standard return priced, yet students traveling to the Graduates can study 16% to as high as 52%. Significant fares to student passengers south-west save 37% compared between fares offered to students her four years in college, her bus differences also occur regarding The standard return fare with the 27% saved by their north- traveling on Bus Éireann services. fare has increased every year, ris- discounts offered by Bus Éireann, from Dublin to Athlone, for ern-bound counterparts. Students traveling to Galway ing from €1.10 in 2002 to €1.35 in medicine next autumn ranging between 18% and 29% on The Minister for Education and the course. The university is due instance costs €34.50 with a dis- and Westport-bound passengers receive a paltry discount of 3%, 2006. fares to major cities. counted ticket costing €16.50, rep- both pay €43.50 for their tickets, while students heading to Luas fares have also Science Mary Hanafin is set to to begin a graduate medicine pro- The investigation into introduce graduate level entry into gramme in September 2006, resenting a saving of 50%. A stan- yet in spite of traveling in the same Waterford benefit from 26% off the increased since early Janauary, discrepancies between discount dard return fare to Sligo is similar- direction Galway students receive a adult return fare. which will affect the thousands of medicine shortly and plans to where postgraduate students will fares comes following an average more than double the number of complete a four year course that ly priced, at €35. But the discount- discount of 42% as opposed to the Even though Cork is one Trinity students living in Trinity medical places available by 2010. will lead to the same degree as Table illustrating the huge variance in dis- 32% discount received by their of the most expensive rail destina- Hall who commute to College from Cabinet approval of the plan will students entering through the tra- Connacht counterparts. tions for students, it is actually one the Milltown station. Most single see 70 new places become avail- ditional leaving certificate under- counts offered to students by Iarnród Éireann The size of the discount of the cheapest bus destinations. journey Luas tickets increased by able by next autumn, with a fur- graduate route. Adult Student Discount does not appear to bear any relation The dramatic decrease in fares to 10c, while a 30 day Luas pass cov- ther 240 places being created over The high points return return to how high the standard fare is. Cork may owe a great deal to ering two zones increased by €1. increased competition on that line, Students using the the next two or three years. There required by Leaving Certificate Cork €59.00 €38.50 35% The most expensive adult return are currently only 305 places students in order to study medi- tickets are to Cork, Killarney and following the introduction of a DART are also affected by the 4% available in the five third level cine are not expected to change Galway €43.50 €25.50 42% Tralee and each of these destina- cheaper Aircoach service between increase in fares. institutes which offer medicine following an increase in the num- tions offer the average discount Cork and Dublin. The actual fare increase courses. ber of places available however. Westport €43.50 €29.50 32% rate of 34%. Discounts appear to be While Iarnród Éireann sanctioned by Minster for The plan follows an This is because of the enormous highest on the cheaper destinations, offer a discounted fare to Belfast- Transport Martin Cullen was only announcement by UCD last demand for medicine places Athlone €34.50 €16.50 52% however there are too many excep- bound students, Bus Éireann do not half the increase requested by CIE, August to introduce a graduate which far outstrips supply. This tions to this claim to view it as a offer any fare reductions to stu- who sought a price hike of 7.5%. In entry system to medicine whereby year’s entrants to medicine at Sligo €35.00 €26.50 24% general rule. dents traveling to any destination in order to avail of student discount graduates of any discipline under- TCD required a points score of Trinity News contacted . rates on Luas, DART and Iarnród go an interview and aptitude test 590 out of a maximum possible Rosslare €24.50 €20.50 16% Iarnród Éireann requesting an Steady increases in trans- Éireann services students must pur- to determine their suitability for score of 600 points. explanation for the differences in port costs continue to effect stu- chase a Student Travel Card, at a Wexford €24.50 €19.50 20% discounts offered. At the time of dents commuting within the Dublin cost of €12. For students wishing going to print however no reply area. While the average bus fare to avail of discounts on Bus Éire- IADT students vote Belfast €48.00 €35.00 27% was forthcoming. has increased by only 5c, students ann services, student identification Although differences are feeling the cumulative effect of will suffice. Dundalk €24.50 €14.50 53% between discounts offered were not steady price increases which have to stay with USI as obvious as those offered by occurred over the past number of Students at the Dún Laoghaire yes as a result of false claims that Ennis €48.50 €30.50 37% Iarnród Éireann, there are nonethe- years. One final year physiotherapy Institute of Art, Design and student would have to pay full less some major discrepancies student pointed out that throughout Technology (IADT) voted recent- fees if they disaffiliated. A move ly to remain affiliated to the USI. towards disaffiliation comes after The narrow result showed 58% the perceived crisis in the USI voting in favour of remaining following controversy over with the national student body, changes to the constitution and Huge investment in third while 42% voted against. The the resignation of the Deputy total number of votes cast was President and Education Officer 281. Message board comments of the organisation. Disaffiliation suggest students were ill- is strongly supported by Jane informed on the issues they were Horgan-Jones, the Education voting for, with one claiming that Officer of the Students’ Union in level long overdue students were coerced into voting UCD.

Catherine Shanahan Taoiseach Bertie Ahern describing ticularly well-received by the semesterisation have angered many education sector based on access RAG week begins as a “major national priority” the umbrella body the Irish in the Belfield campus, has enthusi- for all and a quality education, not The government recently improvement of the performance of Universities Association (IUA), astically welcomed the fund. to force the universities to restruc- announced an investment package Irish universities and institutes of who had outlined their plans for the According to Minister ture according to a profit driven around the country of €1.2bn for higher education in technology and the establishment development of such a sector in a for Education Mary Hanafin the agenda”, he said. Students around the country are clashing with exams and assign- Ireland, including €900m for capi- of a ‘fourth-level’ sector for post- pre-Budget submission. fund will encourage colleges to An intrinsic part of the eagerly anticipating the beginning ment deadlines. In DIT the intro- tal and infrastructure and €300m graduate research that will compete The funding allocation work more closely together and proposed fourth level system is col- of the RAG week season. The duction of semesterisation has allocated to a Strategic Innovation against the highest international was also cautiously welcomed by pursue internal programmes of laboration between higher educa- first rag week of 2006 is taking also led to confusion regarding Fund. standards. the Union of Students Ireland reorganisation. tion institutes across the country. In place in Cork this week, with when RAG week will take place. Investment in capital and ‘Fourth level’ has (USI), although they did express For the USI however, the his budget speech, Minister for more following throughout The RAG week in DCU will infrastructure will be largely direct- become a buzz word in education concern that capital projects would Strategic Innovation Fund remains Finance Brian Cowen pointed out February. There has been some commence in the week beginning ed towards science and technology, circles in recent times. It refers to be prioritized on the basis of politi- controversial. Union President that it was not sensible for such a confusion in recent weeks over 13th February and its organisers while the Strategic Innovation Fun the creation of a dedicated sector cally driven agenda rather than real Tony O’Donnell said that the fund small country to have all its insti- when rag weeks are taking place. are promising three bar exten- has been set up to encourage uni- for postgraduate education, partic- need. may be used as a ‘crude imple- tutes competing against each other In the University of , for sions and a RAG trip. NUI versities to engage in reform in ularly at PhD level. It is thought The Strategic Innovation ment’ to force the third level sector in various disciplines and that third instance RAG week has been Galway will have one of the last order to increase the level of fund- that colleges will co-operate with Fund is likely to please universities to engage with the commercial level institutes should merge some moved to an earlier week in the RAG weeks beginning on ing made available to them. each other in administrating that currently engaging in restructuring agenda. of their courses in order to draw on second semester in order to avoid Monday 26th February. Higher education sector. programmes, such as Trinity, UCD “Restructuring is a buzz- collective strengths. Compiled by Anne-Marie Ryan appears to have made it onto the The investment package and UCC. UCD President Dr Hugh word currently in vogue, but the government agenda, with the for fourth level education was par- Brady, whose moves towards fund should be used to develop the International Review Editor: Doaa Baker Tuesday January 24th, 2006 7 Trinity News INTERNATIONAL REVIEW Democracy in Cell Block Hebron

Hugh Harkin ern West Bank. His house, a Palestinians in the Old City – now ownership. Many of the shops 2000 Israeli soldiers. With the tell him of a trip I took to the cine- peace”. stone’s throw from the resting almost entirely under Israeli con- have been broken into, wrecked army come the checkpoints, road- ma. But on closer inspection, place of Abraham, is probably trol – are completely powerless to and pillaged. One Palestinian blocks, curfews, patrols and day- These days, though, the this is not such a surprise, since it is A Palestinian friend emailed me worth millions, but very few people stop them. I saw this for myself a home had its front door welded and-night raids. The constant Hebron settlers’ antics are – on the only a partial evacuation, and the last week. He didn’t mention would want to live there. Most of year and a half ago. Teenage set- shut by the army. The family, apprehension. The unwillingness internet at least – news. This is army have confirmed that Hebron Sharon, didn’t talk about the his neighbours are Israeli settlers, tlers, boys and girls, walk the determined to stay put, now come to even chance leaving home. because eight settler families who is to remain as stifled as before. upcoming elections. Instead, he who in the late 1960s, following streets with M16s (legally!) slung and go via their back window. At The harassment is daily have been squatting in the Old City And of charade while they remain told me about the night before, Israel’s conquest of the West Bank over their shoulders. The market one particular stretch of the Old in Hebron’s Old City for the have been served with an Israeli locked in their cells, which thanks when the windows of his family’s and Gaza, took over a derelict area, once the thriving centre of City, along its narrow medieval Palestinians who stubbornly court eviction order. As Firas suc- to the settlements and the wall, are home had been smashed in, and his building smack bang in the middle Hebron’s cultural and economic streets, you find a wire mesh above remain. When Firas told me about cinctly put it: “The settlers refuse getting smaller by the day. The neighbour’s house set on fire. Both of this city of 120,000 Palestinians. life, has been all but shut down by your head, full of rubbish. Settlers his latest troubles, it came five this order and express this refusal most incredible part of it all is that acts were done by his other neigh- Since then their colony the Israeli army. have taken over the upper floors paragraphs in to the email. Five by attacking Palestinian houses and this is the negotiating position from bours: Israeli settlers. has progressively expanded out- Walking through the Old here, and before the Palestinians paragraphs in! It was as if such shops.” What is unusual about this which the Palestinian election win- My friend, Firas, lives on wards, as the Hebron settlers have City you see abandoned Palestinian put up the netting, the rubbish used attacks were not really news, hard- evacuation, however, is that we are ners will be expected, without what must be one of the most incrementally pushed out their homes and shops, which, with a to be simply thrown down onto the ly stuff to be making a song and hearing so little about it in our own international intervention, to parley frightening streets in the world – Palestinian neighbours, by such spine-chilling ignorance of history, Palestinian street. dance about. This was simply life, media; that it is not, as one might for justice and for their own state. Shuhada Street in the city centre, or violence and intimidation as Firas’ are daubed by the settlers with The settlers now number part of the details of one’s day, to expect, being heralded as another ‘Old City’, of Hebron, in the south- family continues to suffer. Stars of David to signify Jewish over 400, and are protected by over be commented on just as I might magnanimous Israeli “gesture of One Year On: Goal’s Work Post-Tsunami

GOAL’s €10 million project to drainage and lagoon cleaning, as able to redevelop their fishing build 63 schools along Sri Lanka’s well as waste removal.” livelihoods, and their lives are Ampara coastline kicked off this “The speedy construc- slowly returning to normality once month, with a New Years Eve 2006 tion of some 1,400 GOAL shelters again after the most traumatic year completion deadline. was in no small part due to the of their lives.” One year after the tsuna- enthusiasm of our cash-for-work The agency’s emergency mi, GOAL is focussing its energy initiative, which also saw the repair operations included clearing water on a programme that will ensure of secondary roads, paddy fields sources, building temporary shel- 30,000 children can continue with and irrigation canals - testament to ters for 1,400 families, distributing their education. In a statement, the success of the scheme.” mosquito nets and family hygiene GOAL’s CEO, John O’Shea said: The tsunami contaminat- kits, school uniforms and fishing “This is a massively important ini- ed most of the wells it reached with nets, as well as repairing hundreds tiative as it gives these children an salt water and debris. To ensure of fishing boats. This intense pro- education, and means they now local people had access to clean gramme was followed by relief have hope for the future.” and safe drinking water, GOAL activities which included the distri- GOAL’s innovative cash- prioritised cleaning 1740 water bution of food and essential non for-work schemes played a useful wells, installing and maintaining food items to those most affected role in enabling people, including thousands of water tanks and water by this disaster, providing assis- women, who lost their livelihoods, connections, as well as training the tance to approximately 180,000 to find temporary employment. local water board. tsunami victims in the three dis- Over the past year, the agency has To help affected families tricts of Sri Lanka – Ampara on the provided over €45,000 cash for rebuild their lives, GOAL assisted east coast, and Hambantota and work workers through employment with cement block-making, and Matara on the south coast. in constructing shelters and distributing coconut tree seeds for GOAL believes in keep- rebuilding infrastructure. planting, as well as repairing thou- ing its cost base as low as possible, “The average days work sands of canoes and boats. and is proud to have kept adminis- for these local people included “Many thousands of sur- tration costs at an average of 5% such activities as clearing houses, vivors of the tsunami have been over a 28 year period. As a result of the extensive damage to classrooms, classes are held outside 8 Features Editor: LizJohnson Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Trinity News FEATURES Time Is Running Out for Oil Lovers Liz Johnson tells us all why we should stop worrying about oil prices and start embracing an altogether greener way of thinking

Much as we all grumble about doing Rumsfeld in 2002 told the world that all have alternative energy departments. essays and projects around the end of the war in Iraq ‘had nothing to do with Although many groups lost money by term, occasionally (very occasionally) oil.’ Did you believe him? I certainly investing in alternative energy after the one comes along which really opens didn’t - I doubt he even believed him- 1970s oil crises, alternative energy your eyes to an issue you had previous- self. Call me a cynic, but was it a mere companies are now enjoying an abun- ly given relatively little thought to. This twist of fate that the oil fields of Kirkuk dance of investment activity, including revelation occurred to me as I sat, pen were among the first areas to be secured movement from groups who were pre- poised, at my kitchen table in Week 9 of by coalition forces, and that the viously uninterested. last term. It turns out that renewable Ministry of Petroleum was the only I think that it is time for us energy sources are not just a course Iraqi government building that wasn’t to sit up and take notice. Oil is clearly topic but also one of today’s biggest attacked? It is a hazardous thing to be not going to last forever and there are environmental issues. dependant on the Middle East for such plenty of alternative options out there Our society is more or less an important commodity. ready to be developed further if only addicted to oil. Every day, a staggering Oil at $60 a barrel actually society were willing to give them its 84 million barrels of oil are used world- isn’t that expensive. It’s just that in our support. wide. That’s about 30 billion per year. If heads we feel it should be around $20. Solar power, for instance, we continue to guzzle it as we have A $60 barrel of oil works out at 18c a has become a great deal more commer- been doing, our dependency looks set to pint. That’s certainly a lot cheaper than cial, with various policies now making increase while our supplies diminish it more viable and less unstable in terms even further. Previously, we have been of pricing. One may not equate Ireland Envy- The Green Eyed Monster able to rely upon discoveries of more “$60 oil works out at with glorious sunshine, but apparently oil fields, but in reality we have been 18c a pint. That’s a it can even work here! (And if it can Horoscopes - Brought to you by using more oil than we have been find- work here, then surely it could work ing for over two decades. Oil discover- lot cheaper than a anywhere!) our resident Trinity psychics ies are running out, and those that are pint of anything else Wind power is perhaps one discovered are of inferior quality. The in Dublin!” of the most visible sources of alterna- Capricorn: 22nd December - Cancer: 23rd June - 23rd July most promising discovery of recent tive energy. Generally constructed on times, the Kashagan field in the Caspian high ground, these massive turbines can 20th January Pluto and Uranus are competing in Sea, has a potential 15 billion barrels a pint of anything else in Dublin! be seen around various parts of Irish Sometimes newspapers like to talk order to secure the licence for the worth of oil to be used. This may sound Admittedly though, the price has rock- landscape. Since the 1970s their size about red cauliflowers. first tequilla bar in space. You can a lot, but would actually only sustain eted in recent years. Even the US and efficiency has increased eight-fold. Sometimes they like to question take this up in four different ways. the world for around half a year. Energy Department have drastically Offshore, they are even more effective Windmills- the power of the future? the validity of caps. I don’t say 1) It’s competition time. You’ve According to the Association of the changed their story of late. Last year as they can be moved to wherever the this to make you feel jealous of always been a big loser and now’s Study of Peak Oil and Gas, we consume they predicted that in 2025 a barrel of wind is, and this type of wind power is now being manufactured to be able to along with continuing price increases in those lucky journalists who have your chance to prove this true around 30 million barrels of oil for oil would cost $34.35, and now they are expected to take off (no pun intended) cope with alternative fuels. In a perfect conventional oil, alternative energy world there would be an alternative to may well present a future option. Oil such wonderful lives, but just so once again. 2) It’s competition every 5 that are found. This situation officially forecasting $112 oil in 2030. dramatically in the North Sea in the surely cannot go on. So it would seem that we had better get coming years. In fact, research by Shell private transport, but there isn’t. prices are high and look set to stay that you’re aware in case you stumble time. If you can’t win then you As supply is decreasing and used to expensive oil, or get used to the has shown that if the most effective Environmentally conscious as I am, I way, with supplies dwindling as the across the articles in between the should just leave the planet. 3) Go demand shows little sign of diminish- idea of alternative energy sources. wind turbines are large enough and in would still gladly give up my wet wait world refuses to wean itself off its sudoku section and the Celebrity drink tequilla shots. 4) If you feel ing, it naturally follows that prices will A lot of people have recent- suitable locations, they could provide at the bus stop every morning for the addiction. But people’s attitudes are Big Brother updates. It’s a danger- envious of Uranus at any stage increase. On Tuesday January 17th the ly been jumping on the renewable ener- electricity at a wholesale price (around comfort of a private car. As such, a slowly beginning to change. I think that ous and cruel world out there. Just during the next two weeks, drink price of a barrel of oil shot up two dol- gy bandwagon, but I get the feeling that 10c per kWh) comparable with non- compromise must be reached, and bio- we need to stop burying our heads in asked AM people. more tequilla shots. lars to $66 per barrel. This price hike as far as bandwagons go, this may actu- renewable energy sources such as oil. fuels may be it. They cut carbon emis- the deserts of Saudi Arabia in the hope was attributed to security fears in Iran ally be a pretty good one. The combi- While this is all very well sions by up to 90%, have no great of finding some kind of phantom oil downside and are truly sustainable. reservoir. Take a deep breath, accept Aquarius: 21st January - 19th Leo: 24th July - 23rd August and Nigeria, and draws our attention to nation of high oil prices, environmental for business, I feel that the alternative the problematic fact that most of our concerns, improved technologies and a energy resource that could make the At present, the biofuels sec- that oil is not forever, and head in the February As the supreme of all star signs, remaining oil resources lie in the desire for greater energy security has most difference to the individual is bio- tor, along with other alternative energy direction of alternative energy. Pianos make great hiding places. envy is a little feeling that has no Middle East area. Coincidentally, this is emerged to create an increasingly good fuel. Biofuels such as biodiesel are sources that I mentioned above, is too This is where all your odd socks impact on your mentality. The one of the most politically unstable investment environment for alternative based on ingredients like rapeseed oil, small and infantile to be a real threat to have been laying low. Please don’t only time it impacts on your little regions in the world. This combination energy. Corporations such as General or ethanol-based petrol. Prices for bio- the conventional oil giants, but with the rat them out - they’re bound to fail handbag driven lives is the vibes does not make for a great deal of confi- Electric (GE), BP, now marketing itself fuels are coming down as technology right combination of government back- the polygraph. Their only hope is those plebs give off. Not that you dence in the future oil markets. Donald as ‘Beyond Petroleum’, and even Shell and production increases, and cars are ing, promotion and price reductions, to move to Alaska. Pinot noir resent them, the poor little might taste better in the dark but blighters, looking upon your star The Science block fight back with... Matt meets the Monaguesque Monarch you’ll spill it on left big toe and with hopeful eyes. As perfect, you never recover. You have been are never envious of anybody. It Trinity’s own Matteo Matubara writes about his friendship with Albert, the of warned. Try using a blanket to might give you wrinkles. Anyway, Monaco. Our favourite eccentric around campus is known to have correspondance with var- cover that big spot on your nose. green is soooo not your colour. Diary of a All the celebrities are doing it. ious members of Royalty and Trinity News is always interested to hear of any new develop- Perhaps not in public, but you’ll Virgo: 24th August - 23rd ments. be a trendsetter. Only chance September Matteo writes; attracted people. a new generation of councillors you’ll get. Red wine will not solve all your “With pleasure I received a very The era of Princess and experts in finance and manage- ills. But It will distract you from Science Girl beautiful Christmas card from my Grace in Monaco ended with her ment. I wish him well in bettering Pisces: 20th February - 20th them. Watch out for purple teeth royal friend, Prince Albert of tragic death in a car crash on 13 the principality of Monaco.” March and flipflops on people on rainy We at Trinity News are all about equal opportu- Monaco in reply to my card of con- September 1982. You can’t teach an old fish new January days. Marble is your gratulations on his enthronement in When Prince Albert tricks, but you can find fingers on lucky stone but jaffa cakes will nities. So when this plucky Science student the Principality on 19 November came to Dublin as the Honorary it if you believe old men with always be luckier. Don’t wait for decided to speak out against BESS and their kin, 2005. President of Ireland’s Red Cross in beards. Far better to find girls with your sign to go into retrograde, The cover of his succession to Princess Grace, I long hair and convince them of the start walking backwards yourself we thought hey! Why not!We always thought Christmas card illustrates an went to meet him at the Berkeley virtues of a career in the construc- and while you’re at it, relinquish that science students were pretty illiterate, but enlightened tree at court. Inside the Court hotel on his invitation. I was tion industry. Try to market hard all New Year’s resolutions. Jog card his best wishes are expressed received by him in his private ele- hats that will accommodate their backwards if it’ll make you feel here, proving us wrong, is the Science Girl! in golden letters in trilingual – gant room on the top floor, where I goldilocks tendencies. Remember, better, but accept the fact that I didn’t check my dictionary for so we are not so much in danger of French, Italian and English, and his had the honour to share breakfast miniskirts might make sense on you’ll sprain your ankle. this column but I did check my leaving with a degree from a non- personal signature in gold. with him. the OC, but the sun shines there. thesaurus. As a science student I existent department. We have I would like to explain Although his adjutant The arts block hasn’t seen sun Libra: 24th September- 23rd need help articulating so that this benches with separate seats suit- how I have come into contact with was present he talked with me in since 1963, and even then we sus- October column is not sparse, bare, meagre able for both right- and left-han- my Monagesque royal friend. His writing in bilingual. I was deeply pect it was a drug-induced halluci- Straws are a universal experience. or scanty. ders. We have a far higher toilet to late mother Princess Grace, alias touched when he told me that his nation. You will never experience it We are a different breed student ratio. We get jobs related former Hollywood star Grace mother spoke of me and showed unless you adopt a Jodi Marsh (and from the BESS girl’s diary, a to our degrees that we can make a Kelly, received my letter as she him my correspondences. Aries: 21st March - 20th April style barnett. Extensions optional. different species I hope). We do lot of money from. We compre- boosted Monaco. As she learned of Since then he has sent There is a place beneath the stairs Try wearing headphones to com- not experience the depths of shal- hend the futility of student poli- my interest in her son Prince me a Christmas card every year and where certain types of lampshades plete the ensemble. Drop lowness as our peroxided, orange- tics. Albert, then an adolescent, she sent various illustrations per annum. go to be at one with their inner ‘pimpinella’ into at least 3 sen- faced kin in the arts block. What is most envious me a photograph of her with him, When Prince Albert II choir. In the modern world of con- tences tomorrow and all your We prefer to not to totter about the science way of life is our provided with their autographs. became the sovereign of the princi- A Royal Correspondant fusion, this ability to be in touch wishes will come through. Except about on the cobblestones in close knit community. Our class This autographed photograph pality, he surrounded himself with with their inner programmes is to the one about the ladder and the match-stick heels or wake up an sizes rarely extend to three digits. be celebrated, not envied. These blackcurrant jelly. Let’s face it, hour early to draw on our faces. As such we can actually partici- lampshades are, after all, only one that’ll never happen. Just accept. I’ll admit that with all our scientif- pate in lectures. The lecturers even Ranting - its a way of life step up from muffins and thus are And paint your nails. ic erudition, we have yet to dis- get to know us and some host par- Kathryn Segesser, Anna Kavanagh and Noirin Hurley entitled to all statutory rights and cover the insulatory properties of ties in their houses. Here, I have other consumer rights etc etc. May Scorpio: 24th October - 22nd fake tan. But we are not envious of hit upon a gem. bemoan the cobbles of Front Square you all find you inner chimney November you in the slightest. Only in the science In a country renowned for its rain, equipment. without breaking stride. There is no and peace. Lets not be jealous Wise old Japanese men say: What is there to envy? block can you find such relics. paving the main pedestrian area of Yet there exists a breed justice in the world!!! people, lets love and (in the words “Don’t let the tree tell you it’s a Your bomb-shelter of a building? Old-school lecturers that wear college with material which of girl in Trinity who somehow Of course the stilettos of Pete Burns) screw (I mean the mackintosh”. In the annals of the Wait, we have that too. Your free corduroy pants and tweed jackets morphs into a death trap every time remains impervious to the many would be bearable were it not for nail variety). psychic secret society (listed time to run societies? We’d be with leather elbow patches. They it rains was not perhaps the bright- pitfalls of Front Square. While the overwhelming propensity of under Doyles in the Golden Pages. intimidated by the amount of peo- wear the same three outfits that est idea the collective minds of col- some of us (current authors very Trinity staffers parking cars and Taurus: 21st April - 21st May Cunning) we have found the trans- ple we don’t know. The many their wives lay out for them every lege ever had. much included) can barely stagger other moving vehicles in Front Cookies make the world go round. lation of this saying to be ridiculously themed balls you morning. They use blackboards Their aesthetic qualities across to the Buttery in the flattest Square itself. Thus not only do you Even if it is spherical. But don’t be “Jealousy is a healthy part of life have? It’s less effort to get drunk and acetates. They have their com- are not to be sniffed at, but when of flat shoes without taking a spec- have to deal with crossing the Front fooled by the neon lights. until you let it take over your in a pub and the outcomes just the puter sitting in a box on the floor they come at the price of broken Square but you can’t even take the Sellotape might make for some lasagne”. Go in peace and zen to same. Your essay writing skills? A of their office. They are so limbs, necks and shoes (the last “The long and short of direct route. Your chances of total short-term repairs but ultimately live healthily with all forms of lab report is more straight forward untouched by the outside world especially important) we have to it is that there is no annihilation are therefore consider- you will have to face the truth biodegradable food stuffs. and the results can be fixed. Your that they are completely preserved question their worth. beauty without pain ably increased. about Elmo. Don’t be ashamed. ability to pull jocks? There are fossils. They are so shaped by The cobble question first Now might also be the Many people prefer muppets to Sagittarius: 23rd November - twenty three synonyms for prosti- their individual research interest arose in the treacherous period of and, as there is also no time to point out the numerous real people. Understandable, real- 21st December tute. that they resemble the cast of Freshers’ Week when unsuspecting Dublin without rain, we tourists who are also able to nego- ly. But you should at least try to Did you ever feel just a little bit In fact, there is a lot Father Ted. You can’t find them ankles were sacrificed to the are destined to suffer on tiate the death trap. How is it that talk to creatures with a circulatory envious of the gummy bears and about us science students you anywhere else. uneven surface of front square. Not forever more” Americans and other unspecified system. Try to avoid oranges. their cute little gummyness. have to envy. It is actually possi- I’d pity BESS girls, but to mention numerous suitcases nationales can not only cross the Apparently a whole generation of ble for us to get over 75%. And we I’m too busy laughing at them. who, whilst making noises to trou- tacular nose dive, a significant pro- square in destined-to-cause-you-to- Gemini: 22nd May - 22nd June boys went through the same expe- very often do. Our research actu- ble even the deafest of grannies, portion of the Trinity girls retain slip flip flops, but can do so whilst Since there’s two of you, enjoy rience, so believe us when we ally makes money for the college, simultaneously found their bottoms the ability to strut like Dublin’s moving backwards. We think it’s twice the jealously. Celebrate by quote “you are scuffed, chipped and, ultimately, Next Top Model across the some sort of secret conspiracy to convincing gullible children in not alone”. Now that you’re older, waylaid in the space of 10 minutes. square…..in heels! make us feel even more inade- your neighbourhood that santa is we wanted to open up a few more We have heard tales What pact can they have quate. Can’t be sure, but it sounds stuck in your chimney and will extra curricular jealousy targets. whispered of suitcase wheels that signed with the Devil? How many great and helps us when lying flat only be freed if pelted with nail So, repeat after us; I must strive to literally cracked under the pres- first borns can you sacrifice? Why out in the Square. files. Burn the travel section of the be envious of: yellow M&M sure. Suddenly the dangers of are they not all on crutches?! There The long and short of it Sunday Times to exorcise all peanuts, squirrels with tails meas- Front Square were multiplied can be nothing more humiliating is that there is no beauty without demons lurking under the sink but uring 6 inches and anybody with the exponentially. Not only did stu- than raising your face from the pain and, as there is also no Dublin fortune to have the middle name preserve the Christmas cards at all dents have to cope with the grease- cobbles where it has just landed without rain, we are destined to Geraldo. Consider it your daily costs. They will serve you well in like cobbles, they were now catch- with a resounding thud only to suffer on forever more. Think of us the intergalactic wars. morning mantra. Really, there’s no need to thank us. ing their feet in escaped underwear, have a stiletto clad foot step dainti- when you’re stepping over us. Its wandering scarves and lost sports ly over you and continue on its way not easy being this undignified. Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Features Editor: Liz Johnson 9 FEATURES Trinity News A Book Worm Turns - The Embarrassment of Reading Chick-Lit Take for example Cecelia Ahern. (broadsheet newspapers as opposed selves by sneering at the intellectu- tant future, when a support group is Anna Kavanagh realises that there is no point in reading Before the publication of her first to glossy magazines) can do little al pygmies over the wall. On organised, following a twelve-step books just for the sake of saying you have read them novel, the story broke of the mil- more than grudgingly admit that Ahern’s side, the ‘intellectual pyg- programme under which English lion-dollar deal under which she ‘for what it is’, it’s pretty good. Or mies’ got on with reading books students will learn to enjoy litera- Read any good books lately? It’s a lectures you went to. point languidly at the ‘three-for- sold the movie rights of the book. to put it more plainly, trash, but they enjoyed, secretly delighting in ture again – and to have a much truly horrible question to ask most Something happens to even the two’ offer on bestsellers and, with a She was feted as the new queen of entertaining, diverting trash. the fact that those on the other side wider definition of literature. people, but especially evil if you sanest Leaving Cert student when consoling smile, says simply ‘You Irish literature; one couldn’t open a This level of literary would resort to making faces over a Perhaps they will start by learning happen to be speaking to an he or she fills out the CAO and puts know what to do’. magazine or switch on the televi- snobbery is frankly ridiculous. It’s fence before they’d sit down and to read Cosmo without feeling a English student. You quickly run down English as one of the choices. Still you resist. sion without seeing her beaming all very well to sniff disapproving- actually read any of the books they crushing sense of shame. The next through the range of suitable Somehow this constitutes a life Gathering every ounce of your face. But the mood quickly soured ly in airports as you work your way had stacked beside them. step will be to sit brazenly on the answers you’ve prepared in choice, a statement of intent: I am a resolve you march past the new when the book was published and through Bleak House while the It appears that the joke is second floor of the Ussher with the advance (when, admittedly, you serious bibliophile and as such will Terry Pratchett book (and finally in the first reviews came in. It turned greater part of the departure lounge truly on the English student. In complete works of Patricia could have been actually reading only read books worthy of my stag- paperback – you’ve been waiting out that the fresh new face of Irish is engrossed in Circle of Friends. their rush to be taken seriously by Cornwell in front of them. The pro- books, but let’s be realistic): ‘I’m in gering intellect. I will not assail my ages!) and head towards the mod- letters had had the audacity to write But Dickens was arguably the the literati, they have forgotten why gramme could culminate with a the middle of a Rushdie retrospec- highly refined senses with anything ernist drama section at the back. what can only be described as Cecelia Ahern of his day. His books they put English down on the CAO group of the most advanced partic- tive… still can’t decide between that could be classed as popular fic- Desperately trying not to think ‘chick-lit’. To be fair to Ms Ahern, were published in serialised form in the first place – because they like ipants heading into Hodges Figgis Shame and The Satanic Verses.’ Or, tion. I will certainly not read for about the growing pile of ‘classics whether or not commentators had a and each instalment was eagerly reading. Undoubtedly there are and, with their heads held high, ‘Of course! I’m working my way such frivolous purposes as “enter- you must read’ that sit by your bed, people lurking in the English buying a wide selection of the through the leading lights of magic tainment”. undeniably unread, you pick up a “It’s about time we were able to openly admit department who’ve discovered the recently published best-sellers. realism and hope to go onto nation- Every trip into Hodges Figgis Beckett play, some Milton and a to reading books because we like them” hidden delights in Tennyson, but I It goes without saying that ‘proper’ al literatures of developing nations becomes a horrible mental battle. couple of dictionaries of literary seriously suspect that the large literature can be hugely rewarding next month’. Or the ultimate, In the red corner, bespectacled terms for good measure. ‘It’ll be copy of the book to read (rights to anticipated. (Yes, this is all I majority recall wistfully the sum- and that it is well worth at least try- ‘Actually, I’m rereading Ulysses.’ angels, often sporting goatees and different this time,’ you tell your- the movie were sold before the remember of the Senior Fresh mers spent reading the entire ing a more challenging book once Rereading, you’ll notice, because tweed jackets, desperately try to self. ‘I’ve been meaning to read book was completed), people course on Victorianism). They Marion Keyes back catalogue in a while. But can we please stop let’s face it, who hasn’t read push you over to the literary fiction Waiting for Godot for ages. should really have guessed that a were read by a wide spectrum of while sunbathing with a diligence being so po-faced about more pop- Ulysses at least once already. classics section. ‘Proust!’ they Everyone knows that!’ Invariably work called PS. I Love You was society (not just the English stu- not seen since the training of the ular books? Reading is a form of Regardless of who asked scream, ‘You’d really like him!’ they become the latest strata on the unlikely to be a gritty, indepth dents – there was no such thing… East German Olympic team. relaxation, a hobby, a way to you the question, be it your tutor, The blue corner is occupied by English canon in your room analysis of the impact of globalisa- happy time). Not only that, but the And yet remarkably few escape reality and lose yourself in flatmate or just the random crazy angels who look considerably more (which, fortunately, is now not just tion on rural Ireland. novel itself was looked down upon will admit to reading Keyes; Keats world where the bus doesn’t splash bloke on the Dart, something com- like you do, especially the version high enough, but wide enough to Significantly, regardless as decidedly lower class. is name-checked with far greater your new trousers and the cute boy pels you give what seems like an of you that staggers in on a function as a bedside table). of what the literary critics felt, the Somewhere between frequency. While the Science stu- wants to go out with you, not your appropriate response. Also known Thursday morning having spent But what is it that makes book was a phenomenal success. Dickens and Cecelia Ahern (the dents of the world can read novels mate. If we’re obliged to feel guilty as lying. People who couldn’t pos- most of Wednesday night drinking so eager to renounce all literature As were her next two novels. Even bookends of any serious study of simply for relaxation and enjoy- any time we pick up a book that sibly know what you’re studying, something that you remember was that could be considered even if her debut novel was sold simply the novel) the novel managed to ment, something inherent in the promises to deliver us to this world, or even that you’re studying any- green, and after which you don’t remotely popular? Is anyone at all on the basis of hype and a massive gain massive cultural kudos and in English student turns reading into a we’re missing out on one of the thing, people who were just remember very much at all. impressed when we present the marketing campaign, one must doing so, set an often indefinable masochistic act, constantly search- best aspects of reading, and the rea- attempting to make idle conversa- They’re considerably quieter than (largely fictitious) list of books we attribute the success of her second standard by which ‘good literature’ ing for themes, motifs and allusions son many of us grew to love books tion without resorting to the weath- the red angels (by now engaged in read over the summer holidays? and third to her skill as an author could be measured. Dickens was to other great works of the English in the first place. It’s about time we er, become the unwilling recipients a heated debate over the contribu- More pertinently, does anyone and her appeal to a massive section clearly on one side of this line, canon instead of just sitting back were able to openly admit to reading of a desperate monologue in which tion Kafka made to international believe us? Why have we started to of the literary market. Yet even the Ahern on the other. Those in and enjoying the ride. One can books because we like them. you name every Victorian writer literature) but eventually one of look down on popular fiction with best of her ‘serious’ reviews Dickens’s camp occupied them- envisage a day, in the not too dis- you can remember from the two them musters up enough energy to such disdain? Diary of a BESS girl Our girl around the Arts Block tells us how it is... You may think that us BESS girls bed until March. I guarantee that envy people very little. We have by the end of the month, you will the looks, the men, the money, and have given in to the supremacy of the potential careers... I could go your duvet over any diet fad. on. But you would be wrong. I Now, getting back to my normal envy the people in the southern commentary. I am so envious of hemisphere not having to go one of my girlfriends right now. through the misery of a January in She has the most amazing Karen Ireland. I hate January. So, for this Millen dress she got in BTs and I week only, this BESS girl is using so want one but I obviously can’t the first half of her column as a get one now she has it. The cut vent for a good old January moan. will do nothing for her - I bet I’d Let’s weigh up the pros and cons. look far better in it. But I’m, like, over it anyway, because my BESS Pro: There are great sales in Ball dress is going to be jawdrop- January. Everyone hopes to get pingly amazing this year. I want it their hands on the half price item to be either vintage or custom of the season that they have want- made (Daddy said he would pay). ed since September. Then we’ll see who’s envious. Not that I don’t love the girl I men- Con: Some people manage this. tioned above, I just hate it when But for those of us who are not, other people beat me to good like, a size 6 or a size 18, with clothes. excessively small or large feet, I also get really envious chances are that there will be when people can just, like, party nothing left in all year then your size. And “Possessive guys are come out with A Passionate Jealousy even if it is, your a first. credit card will not hot at all. Like, you Naturally Kathryn Segesser examines how the fairytale romances we were spun in our youth have impact- probably still be were obviously hot clever people so maxed out really piss me ed the way we treat our relationships today. from Christmas enough to score a off. I mean Do you remember your first Disney that of parents (enough to bring have a slightly happier tale to tell, and the City has something to encouraged to do since the advent shopping that BESS girl in the first why should experience? Those movies, the sta- you back from the abyss). This although, to quote Ali, “we’re not account for in this phase. By open- of television and mass media (how you won’t be place so what’s your they all sit ple of at least this writers’ child- constant awareness of others has, out of the woods yet”. ing up the lives of four friends, so many housewives in the 1950s and able to afford outside the hood, introduced children to the increasingly in the modern world, Bono describes their explicitly (in more than one sense) 60s longed to live up to the Doris anything any- problem?” Pav gloating magical concept that life is fab pervaded the relationship. relationship of three years, as “near the show invited comparisons. It Day “ideal” )? way. And there is and watching when you’re a singing Jamaican Thus, not only are we perfect” for the first year, until was so obvious that Charlotte was In fact, it is probably in no point running to Daddy, everyone else slogging it out in crab. busy comparing our relationships Ali’s housemate started a relation- secretly jealous of Samantha, and that word ‘ideal’ that one can trace because after the yacht at the Ussher. That’s why the Lecky Through the movie with the sugar coated Disney ver- ship with a mutual friend. that Miranda was envious of basi- the foundation of the jealousies Christmas, he is so not buying you is my library of choice - all we Cinderella, I was also introduced to sions, but also with those of our According to Bono “that was when cally anyone who wasn’t Miranda. experienced today. Why is it that any more shoes until at least have to look at from the windows the idea of the perfect “fairytale” friends, neighbours and, in some the cracks began. Ali suddenly As the show was also very obvi- we need ideals by which to meas- February. are the ridiculous American romance (complete with small talk- extremely unhealthy and unreport- started to compare their relation- ously about relationships, the com- ure our lives and all elements of tourists queuing up to look at the ing rodents). Who didn’t have con- ed cases, with our pet animals. ship with ours. At first it was subtle parisons naturally extended into such? If this is born of Disney and Pro: New Year, New You. Take Book of Kells. They provide end- versations with their friends that Celia and Bertie, both JF things, like if they met up we’ d that arena. childhood stories, it is continued in control of your life etc etc. less entertainment for BESS girls centred around the concept of a BESS, were in a loving relation- have to meet up, or if he brought In Carrie’s envy of the media and mentalities of the of all ages who snigger loudly at prince in shinning armour and a ship for nearly a year when it fell her a present, I’d have to do the Charlottes marriage, Charlotte’s adult world. Con: Maybe this is why so many their ludicrous American dress happily ever after that, naturally apart for what Celia describes as same. envy of Miranda’s family and Man is a funny animal in people seem to be breaking up in sense. according to Disney, focused his “roving eye” . Steady on now, Then, it became much Samantha’s envy of, well, well that he is never happy unless he’s January. Depressing. What ever However, the one time squarely on romance? Now, admit- this isn’t the type of roving eye more extreme after about three never mind about Samantha, the comparing his life with others, happened to all those Michaelmas when envy (jealousy, whatever) is tedly, I might be appealing most usually experienced by those who months. She was actively obsessed audience could trace their own those who “have it perfect”. Part of couples? just not cool is when you see it in comprehensively to the female part date BESS boys, but a different with making sure that our relation- dynamic within their circle of a natural tendency towards self pity a boyfriend. Boys do not suit of the population, but to both males concept altogether. ship was seen as what can only be friends and remind themselves of maybe, but this acceptance of jeal- Pro: January is the season to get green. Just because we have a chat and females I ask, when did the As Celia explains, described as “better” than theirs. the different types of relationships ousies have found their way into fit, eat right and make resolutions. with the cute guy at the bar does- fairytale develop the element of “Bertie had this high blown con- The only way to describe it was they themselves had, no doubt, our relationships.Cynical? Perhaps, Perfect for bagging your new n’t mean we’re going to go and “keeping up with the Joneses”? cept of how a relationship should jealousy, she thought their relation- envied at different times. perhaps too much so for some, but man. Trust me, the rest of your jump into bed with him ok? (Well, When did relationship envy enter be. I was his first proper girlfriend ship had more going for it than ours Indeed, relationship envy there is a strong element of truth in year group will be starving them- not immediately anyway). No, into the equation? and he came to the table with his and thus became obsessed with the is not a static thing. Our ideal the above statement. Ultimately selves, and you should follow suit. really. Possessive guys are not hot Ok, so the idea of cards full of images of roses and differences. “That almost broke changes over time and therefore so comparisons work both ways. We No one wants to be the beached at all. Like, you were obviously Cinderella comparing her relation- picnics at twilight. I think his moth- us”. Bono however, atune to Ali’s to do the focuses of our envy. Thus may feel envious of those whom whale at Bondi. And what with all hot enough to score a BESS girl in ship with Prince Charming to er had fed him concepts of how a needs sat her down for a heart to when young, and especially we perceive to have relationships the advertising around, there the first place so what’s your prob- Sleeping Beauty’s with Prince loving couple behave and I simply heart. “I explained to her that it was impressionable Freshers, it is not that are better, more loving, finer, should be enough momentum to lem? I know we’re blonde but we Philip seems perverse, but for the couldn’t live up the ideal. He’d impossible for me to be in a rela- unusual for those in long term “lov- define it how you will. keep you going until you get to a know a good thing when we’re modern day hero(ine) comparison constantly be comparing how much tionship where I was meant to feel ing” relationships to sigh for sin- But, on the other hand, size 6. (And then you could take shagging one. has become a natural part of any time we spent together, how well not up to a standard” . Ali soon gledom. Later, when sick of stum- we are also smug in the knowledge advantage of the sales and every- I’ve heard that everyone healthy relationship. we suited appearance wise and how came around and claims the couple bling from relationship to relation- that someone in our acquaintance is thing!) But you’ve forgotten. It’s should be happy with what In short, the concept that well our views on all sorts com- are now stronger than ever; “I ship, we long for the security of likely to be at least a small bit jeal- January. they’ve got, but there’s nothing it’ s healthy to obsess has translated pared”. realise now that envy is only long term commitment. Even when ous of our relationship status, what- wrong with a little bit of ambition, itself into the normal boyfriend- In the end Celia found destructive. As long as I am happy our relationship status compares to ever that might be. Is that because Major Con: You wake up at 6.30 is there? I mean, if we had all been girlfriend relationship. Fairytales that the relationship had deteriorat- in my relationship with Bono com- that of our friends we can’t stop the we’re all unable to be happy and am, manage to fight the urge for happy being knackers living in are no longer for your eyes only. ed due to such an unhealthy desire parisons are futile” . jealousy. Indeed perhaps that’s content? Perhaps, but right now its hot buttered toast as you swallow inner-city flats, Dalkey, elitist pri- In our lives it is consid- for an ideal. “I simply couldn’t take A point raised by Bono when its at its strongest - Desperate working for me and considerable down the two chunks of pineapple vate education and the Arts block ered strictly typical to compare dif- it. I had to finish with Bertie, the was the subtlety of forms of com- Housewives take note! others. Put that in your script and that your new diet allows you, and royal family that is BESS may ferent aspects with others. Thus, first love of my life, because of his parisons. Although, at their root, So, is relationship envy smoke it Cinders. you prepare to jog the three miles never have been created. But for example, comparisons of vari- constant comparisons, not to men- manifestations of envy, small and part of some deep set childhood to college. You open the door and thank God they were. For every- ous body parts with magazine pic- tion questionable political beliefs”. casual comparisons can be so non- vision, or is it just neurosis born of * Names have been changed to pro- shock horror! It’s minus two one else to envy. tures (almost always unhelpful for Another couple who chalant that it is often hard to see the competitive society in which tect identities. degrees and it’s lashing down. general will to live), or compar- have been through trials and tribu- the damage that they can cause. we live. Well, who’s to know? It is Suddenly the impulse to get fit isons of job with younger colleague lations because of envy are Bono Again, this can be traced indeed not peculiar to think that and healthy is overcome by a (furthering slide to depression) or, and Ali. The couple, JS Science to a media that constantly tells us to comparing yourself to others is powerful inclination to go back to finally, comparisons of life with and SF Microbiology respectively, compare ourselves to others. Sex only natural. Its what we’ve been 10 Tuesday January 24, 2006 Film Editors:Rebecca Jackson & Alexander Christie-Miller Film Trinity News Golden Globes? Forget it! he’ll be a former teenage wizard. semblance of any acting ability for remember Steve Martin being one of those actors who I’d go and There are even fewer movies about Mr William Bradley Pitt. Since funny. I certainly didn’t. Then I see the movie they were in because James Von Simson offers a retrospective of some them. I mean he could go and star then he’s just been cool and good saw some of his old stand-up stuff. they were in it. But since ‘Van of the movies of 2005, as he inaugurates TN’s in a movie called ‘December Boys’ looking. ‘Oceans Eleven’ was crap, It’s a shame really. He was actually Wilder’ he’s been a complete wuss. very own awards ceremony... about awkward adolescence and yet successful because it had the rather talented. He’s always the best thing in any of get graphically deflowered by a highest ratio of normal to cool and the movies he’s in; ‘Blade Trinity’, The Trinity News has always pos- suited & booted to play the fascist Spaniard twice his age… Way to go good looking since Frank Sinatra, The Special Recognition Award: ‘Amityville Horror’, the recently sessed a certain level of grandiose stormtroopers. Pity for a movie Dan. Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. et al released ‘Just Friends’. Have some self-importance; so in the film sec- showing a suicide bombing on the made, well, Oceans Eleven. Now JOAQUIN PHOENIX balls man. You’re a good actor. Try tion we feel that we deserve, nay Underground they decided Gayest Cowboy: he’s one half of the most cool and doing a decent movie for once. have the right, to start the prize- to release it on the 8th July. good looking couple in the history Christian Bale nearly got to keep giving season early with our own HEATH LEDGER of mankind. No? Well explain the this award last year for the supreme The Inspiration Award: selection of awards. Variety has point of ‘Mr & Mrs Smith’ to me effort made to loose five stone (to already ranked the TNAAs (pro- “To play the man in Not many people know this, but the then. drop down to eight) on a diet of an ‘MURDERBALL’ nounced tu-nnnn-aaaaaaaa-ssssss) black in the Johnny Western is the most homoerotic apple a day to play the eponymous genre in film. Anything that macho Best Scene of a Sexually Gratuitous Machinist. But to play the man in Well it wasn’t going to be the pseu- between the Academy of Motion Cash Biopic ‘I Walk Picture Arts and Sciences Awards must be. Clint Eastwood in Nature: black in the Johnny Cash Biopic ‘I do-creationist-crap March of the the Line’, Joaquin not ‘Unforgiven’? Gay. Allan Ludd in Penguins; though frankly that (Oscars) and the British “The Western is the Association of Film and Television only learned to sing ‘Shane’? Gay. Garry Cooper in KING KONG should be given a special award for ‘High Noon’? Bi. Any character most homoerotic managing to fool millions of funda- Awards (BAFTAs) in levels of and play the guitar, prestige. What fools. If you want to played by John Wayne? Gay all the Naomi Watts and King Kong con- genre in film. mentalist Christians into believing but he also became way. ‘Course they don’t talk about summate their blossoming love that other people might stop laugh- know the hottest oscar tips, forget Anything that macho the Golden Globes and read on: an alcoholic and beat it. Wasn’t the done thing back then. aff… No wait; I dreamt that didn’t ing at them behind their backs. Westerns were always about saving I? must be. Clint Just. Because. YOU. his girlfriend. What a The Most Unfortunate Timing the lady. They all played make- Eastwood in Don’t. Understand. It. Doesn’t. Award: hero.” believe. Then Ang Lee made The Eddy Murphy-Didn’t-I-Used- Mean. God. Did. It... Cretins. ‘Brokeback Mountain’. A proper To-Be-Funny-Once Award: ‘Unforgiven’? Gay.” Murderball on the other ‘V FOR VENDETTA’ It’s now back in post-production. gay cowboy movie. You even see hand, brought a tear to my eye. God them do it. Kind of. STEVE MARTIN Walk the Line’, Joaquin not only doesn’t have the style to create psy- Millions were spent on the promo- The Daniel Radcliffe Award For learned to sing and play the guitar, chotic wheelchair rugby. Broke tion for the Wachowski Brothers’ Trying Not To Be Harry Potter for The Cool & Good Looking Award Eddy Murphy’s actually done it. but he also became an alcoholic your back? Boo-fucking-hoo. Get a new sci-fi outing ‘V for Vendetta’. the Rest of His Life: for Being Cool & Good Looking: He’s become so unfunny he’s actu- and beat his girlfriend. What a Mad Max style wheelchair and you ally managed to negate ‘Raw’. A hero. can play the greatest sport in the Considering it was set in a futuris- An oscar with Edmund Burke’s head tic totalitarian London, the world DANIEL RADCLIFFE BRAD PITT monument to comedy has been history of the world. Almost made premier couldn’t have been held pasted on. If Trinity did give film wiped off everyone’s cerebral cor- The Chickenshit Award: me want to watch the next anywhere else. The Odeon Now you’ve got to feel sorry for awards, they might look a bit like this. It’s been tex. The man’s worth about $90 Paralympics. Leicester Square was booked. Dan. He’s a teenage wizard. And eleven years since million and still decided to do RYAN REYNOLDS Thousands of extras were hired, there aren’t many movies about teenage wizards. In a few years he actually had to ‘Daddy Day Care’. I mean what the act. ‘Twelve Monkeys’ was the last hell? Now, most people don’t ever Now I like Ryan Reynolds. He’s ‘Zatoichi’- Samurai blood- Dublin video rentals romp flicked my switch... put to the test when it comes down to it these ous bloodshed is on the cards. the employment of the Ginzo gang for €3, while everything else that film” game, but did so in a films don’t exactly jump off the In spite of his totally in order to support his sick wife. Alex Christie-Miller ranged from €2.50-€4, presum- manner that implied he was happy shelf. innocuous appearance, Zatoichi His icy, impassive presence on Mary Garboden ably depending on age. The guy to answer my questions more to However partly through manages to attract the attention of screen has an undercurrent of pent There’s no doubt that E-Bay has working there was really friendly, show off his knowledge than help a my flatmate’s recommendation, pretty much every sword-toting up rage which seems to epitomise revolutionised Christmas. In for- When I have an evening free from though he only scored 50% on my customer. He was smug,, dismis- and in a vain attempt to anaes- bad guy who comes his way. the sense of impending violence mer years it was with a sense of social or academic obligations, I film knowledge test (cleverly dis- sive, and extraordinarily pale, thetise myself against the impend- Severed limbs and surging spouts beneath the crisp, hushed atmos- impending horror that you nervous- like to go see an intellectually stim- guised as, “Can you help me? I’m causing the main impression I ing horror of leaving college, last of CGI-generated gore are the phere of the film. ly opened that package from ulating play, followed by dinner at drawing a blank on some film walked out with to be that Laser week ‘Zatoichi’ did indeed make it order of the day, as Zatoichi deftly Takeshi is famed as Grandma, inevitably to find some a charming bistro and then to drink titles...”) When asked what the lat- should require their staff to partici- into my DVD player. hacks his way toward his inevitable something of a renaissance man in enormous technicolor jumper for champagne cocktails until sunrise. est Danny Boyle film was called, pate in some form of social activity It was a choice I didn’t showdown with the talented and Japan- not only has he been a which you would not only have to Then I wake up, groan he got it right away – ‘Millions’ – on days off, preferably outside in famous TV entertainer and movie feign a liking, but actually wear for because it’s 6pm and I’ve fallen with bonus points for being able to the sunshine. actor since the 1980s, but he has the rest of the day. But now one has “In spite of his totally innocuous appearance, asleep on the sofa – again – had locate it in the shop immediately. For variation, my final also written a number of novels, the soothing consolation that some- Zatoichi manages to attract the attention of essays, poetry, and is a skilled where on the web a middle-aged pretty much every sword-toting bad guy who painter and cartoonist. bird-watcher has been dreaming of After his 1997 film that exact same jumper, and will comes his way. Severed limbs and surging ‘Hana-Bi’, which won the Golden pay you through the nose to get it. spouts of gore are the order of the day” Lion award at the Venice Film It was thus with carefree Festival, Takeshi also achieved abandon that I ripped happily regret. On one level, the film offers ruthless samurai Hattori, hired fame in the wider world as an art- through my unwrapping this time your typical dose of intense, assassin of the Ginzo gang. house director. The really extraor- round, and when I pulled out the bloody, samurai action. Set in 19th The film is enormously dinary thing about ‘Zatoichi’ is that DVD ‘Zatoichi’, it was to E-Bay century Japan, ‘Zatoichi’ is the entertaining as a straightforward he seems to have succeeded in that I gave my first silent thanks. story of a legendary blind swords- action movie, but director/writer/ bringing together the popular and My family have generally over- man of the same name who dis- lead actor Kitano ‘Beat’ Takeshi art-house aspects of his career to estimated my appetite for obscure, guises his formidable skills behind takes it much further than this. create a film that is in many ways a foreign, art-house films in recent the façade of a humble itinerant Whilst working within the time- basic a blood-bath as you could years, and whilst a back-to-back masseuse. When he happens to worn genre of the samurai movie, wish for, but still has managed to session of Kieslowski’s ‘Three walk into the middle of a vicious ‘Zatoichi’ nonetheless manages to win over the high brow critics- so Colours’ trilogy might sound an gang war, you know that some seri- seem profoundly original through much so that Takeshi took the ‘Best interesting proposition in principle, the creation of a uniquely taut Director’ award for the film at atmosphere at once suspenseful Venice in 2003. and meditative, through which the Even the end of the film violence erupts with a vicious is strikingly innovative, and (with- intensity and economy of force out giving too much away) akin to a controlled explosion. ‘Zatoichi’ concludes with a scene Takeshi’s experience as that acts at once as a celebration Chartbusters- You won’t get ‘Citizen Kane’, but you won’t geek a pallid, patronis- an actor is evident not only in his within the movie but also as an own idiosyncratic, unassuming, acknowledgement and celebration ing geek either. and quietly humorous rendering of of the artifice and spectacle of cin- that dream – again – and ask He fell down on identify- visit was to a small, local video the legendary Zatoichi (about ema. whichever flatmate’s around if she ing the film directed by Martin shop – the kind you go to for the whom 26 films have already been So go and rent it out and fancies renting a film. Scorsese starring Daniel Day- sole reason that it’s only 3 minutes made in Japan), but also in the per- watch it- it’s really good. It might For students with limited Lewis, however, – ‘Gangs of New down the road. My experience at formances he elicits from his cast,. even entice me to go ahead with budgets, video stores are key York’ – not even getting it when I Manor Video on Manor Street in None more so than that Kieslowski marathon- but sources of hours of entertainment included Leonardo DiCaprio in the Stoneybatter was mixed. Pushing Tadanobu Asano, who plays the don’t worry, I won’t write an article Takeshi Kitano as the blind swordsman in ‘Zatoichi’ that provide something to think credits and said I thought it took through the small door into the liv- role of Hattori Genosuke- the trou- about that. along with his samurai adversary Hattori. about other than that essay you place in New York. In my opinion, ing-room sized area, I immediately bled samurai who has fallen into should be working on. But in though, friendliness and enthusi- saw that the selection was pretty Dublin, not all these shops are cre- asm to help made up for this short- dire. ated equal, and it can be difficult to coming. Had I been in the market “Telling it like it is...” know which ones to patronise and for something starring Britney Bored of long-winded reviews yammering on about cinematography, script nuances and virtuoso performances? This why. To find out, I visited three “Pushing through the Murphy or Bruce Willis, I new column is for you. Every issue we will be showcasing a review from a writer with no cinematic pretensions what- rental places near city centre and small door into the would’ve been golden, but without soever. To hit off we have Adam Ward and Philip Jones, alias Trinity's hockey virtuosos- see? I just can't help the flow- rated them according to selection, living-room sized venturing into the porn section, that ery film language- they can though. Read on... price, and quality of staff. was about the extent of my options. The first shop I tried out area, I immediately The lone employee was happy to was the Chartbusters across from saw that the selection chat, but not about films, though King Kong is more flawed than a Kevin Keegan defence; everything has been placed on Saint Patrick’s Cathedral. Apart was pretty dire.” with prices between €3.50 and €4, action and a total lack of editing and script is apparent. The film begins with the hapless Jack from having no Classics section – if I fancied seeing ‘Die Hard’ Black; more cheesy than Dennis Rodman’s chat-up lines, attempting to save his failing doc- something key to my choice of My next stop was Laser again, this place would be a bit of a umentary career. He embarks on a trip to some Island that just so happens to have a huge shop – they had a surprisingly large on George’s Street. With the best saving. monkey and a load of weird natives. and diverse selection. A relatively selection of genres and films I’ve The only conclusion to Kong falls in love with Watts and leads us on a roller coaster ride through the jun- extensive “world cinema” section come across in Dublin, I had slated be drawn is that shop selection gle. This movie, like AC Milan, manages a decent 45 minutes. Complete with some awesome was next to their vast shelves of this place to be a winner before I depends on the customer’s priori- special effects, Samoan-England -esk fights, finished with Adrian Brody stepping up to the new releases, and a “cult” section walked in. And with regard to ties. If you want a nice chat, don’t plate, becoming the hero to save Watts and inadvertently capturing Kong in the process. was a point of interest, consisting selection, it was. Prices were go to Laser, but then again, they’re Then the cheese returns, some fantastic awkward long pauses from Black, and the of those films some people get a bit slightly lower than Chartbusters, the only one of three who stock wondering of what the hell Watts is actually doing starts to dawn on you. Then the finale with funny about and memorise and with new releases at €5 and most ‘Citizen Kane’. And, of course, Kong resting atop the Empire State, Jackson wants us to believe that there is some deep show signs of potentially stalking other DVDs for €3.50. The catego- Manor Video and its equivalents in meaningful undercurrent to this movie: there isn’t. “The planes got him…. No- Beauty killed Peter Jackson- cheesy the stars of – you know, ‘Moulin ry in which Laser fell down, how- any neighbourhood are just up the the Beast.’ Cheers Jack, please pass me the bucket. does it. Rouge’, ‘Titanic’, ‘The Crow’.... ever, was staff. road, and it looks like rain... New releases were going The employee I spoke to for €5.25 per night, world cinema received top marks in the “name

12 Music Editor:Steve Clarke Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Trinity News MUSIC For whom the bell tolls Bell X1’s Dave Geraghty on touring, the Meteor Awards, and Keanu Reeves

October, achieving platinum status was just obvious to us. The Keane I also enquired whether purely male perspective on the sub- Steve Clarke by Christmas. They have been tour I enjoyed a bit more- we got to Dave felt confident about the ject. But it did garner us some nominated for “Best Irish Band” hang out with the lads a little more, Meteor Award nominations, which attention-it was on the news and “Best Irish Album” at this even though with the success of the band is also playing at. “Are because Christian groups were up I don’t often visit bands’ messages year’s Meteor Music Awards. their album they hardly had two in there?” he quips. “I’m kinda in arms about it and every time it boards. Generally they seem to be They’ve sold out tours in the both minutes to spare…they were con- secretly positive, but not anymore, was on the news it had “Eve” play- full of people with way too much the U.S. and the U.K., and their stantly off doing press, interviews, because I’m telling people. Its been ing in the background of the clip. time on their hands, posting threads biggest show yet, in Dublin’s RDS TV stuff; but then the time we did an interesting few months for Bell We’ve been booked to play all the (on average) about twenty times a X1, y’know with the album going lesbian festivals in the states.” day and blurring the line between in at No.1 and its actually at num- Before wrapping up the fan and fanatic. However, as I was “At times we felt kinda at odds playing [sup- ber 11 again I’ve just found out. It interview I asked Geraghty how he perusing Bell X1’s website whilst port for Starsailor], playing our music to their creeped its way back up the charts. felt about their imminent sold-out researching this interview I decided fans... The Keane tour I enjoyed a bit more- we People are buying the record and date in the RDS. With support from to throw caution to the wind, and people are talking about the band Jose Gonzalez (“he’s becoming hesitantly ventured into the dark got to hang out with the lads a little more... the so it’s hard to know really- there’s known as the guy from the bounc- heart of fandom. My worst fears time we did get to spend with them, it was a lot of great bands in there.” ing ball ad”) and also from (the were confirmed. I found a thread really nice.” Perhaps the most bizarre really very promising) Waiting about who would play the band in a incident in Bell X1’s recent history Room, he seems enthused: “I’m theoretical film about Bell X1, but on the 31st January, has also sold get to spend with them, it was real- was their inclusion on the sound- really looking forward to it. I can’t in fairness, some of the casting was out. They’ve even had a song fea- ly nice.” track to an episode of the O.C. wait to be standing on that big inspired- Matt Le Blanc as bassist tured on the O.C., the holy grail of Not probing for details of Their song “Eve, The Apple of My stage and looking out on a sea of Dominic Phillips and Elijah trendy indie music. Will 2006 be the rock and roll excesses of Eye” was the background music to people- its quite spine tingling.” Woods’ Frodo Baggins as Damien the year of Bell X1? “We just hope Keane’s tour bus (but later wishing the most watched scene in the Rice. The resemblance is there. I for more of the same I I had), Geraghty moved on to dis- asked guitarist/keyboardist Dave Fade to Gray: suppose…for people to continue cussing Bell X1’s own gigs and the Geraghty about the fans’ choice to Their song “Eve, The Apple of My Eye” was the liking the music and for us, having UK release of Flock in March. “I play him: a two-way tie between the bit of success we’ve had, to think I prefer smaller venues doing background music to the most watched scene Live at the Point: David Gray Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise. avoid the Irish begrudgery,” opines our shows- I think it’s more impor- “I’m so insulted at the in the entire series, which, so I’m told, involved Geraghty. “But in another way if tant, more beneficial to be seen to Keanu Reeves,” remarks Geraghty, two of the female leads, Marissa and Alex, with Rodrigo y Gabriela you hear that it means you’re doing be doing your own shows. I don’t sounding audibly upset. “If these well I suppose. It’s an indication think people go out and buy your sharing a kiss. With tongues. ..”you couldn’t My’ continued in the same vein, are meant to be in some way repre- you’re doing well if people start album on the back of seeing you as with Gray then donning his electric sentative I’m so insulted. I’m so have dreamed that up really, for our band to be Conor McQuillan bitching about you, which seems to support, and even if they do like guitar and launching into new song hurt. Keanu fucking Reeves. For associated with such an interesting contro- be quite an Irish thing.” you there’s always the psychologi- ‘The One I Love’ with gusto. It was me his acting potential was Dear reader(s), I begin by pointing The back-biting inherent cal impact that they’re there to see versy.” at this point that I noticed the summed up in ‘Bill and Ted’s out that David, for all his virtues, is to the Irish music scene has been the main band and not you. Even woman in front of me rubbing the Bogus Journey.’” What does he not someone I would ordinarily go pretty well documented, but I won- though you might impress them entire series, which, so I’m told, Postscript: During the course of neck of her think about Tom Cruise then? to see in concert. I might if he dered; was this was the only price they kinda want to wait and see if involved two of the female leads, this interview Dave Geraghty also husband/boyfriend/brother-in-law. “Well it’s not a whole lot better invited me. Courtesy of Rodrigo y Bell X1 has had to pay for success? they hear any more about you Marissa and Alex, sharing a kiss. suggested that the pyramids were How cute. now but it’s the lesser of two evils. Gabriela (or their label, rather than On this line, I asked Geraghty before they invest in you, so to With tongues. So was this just a not in fact built by the Eyptians, but The occasional line I could be the one who brings the them personally), I got a free tick- about their supports slots for Keane speak…I think people have been happy coincidence, or divine prov- instead by the Irish. He may have between songs gave the crowd scientology into the band and find et, so I went along to see them play and Starsailor. “At times we felt keeping a close eye on us from idence? “Well, we didn’t say you something extra to cheer about – some fourteen year old to marry. been prompted. what turned out to be a disappoint- kinda at odds playing their gigs, doing Starsailor and Keane, and can use the song but it has to even if “This city’s changed a lot That’d be pretty accurate.” ingly short set (just under 30 min- playing our music to their fans-not even and Somerset involve two very pretty girls kiss- since I first came” didn’t quite Indeed. Bell X1 have Bell X1 play the RDS on 31st utes) – even that amazing sequence that people who listen to one type House, those supports in ing on the beach…I mean you match the insight or poetry of been doing quite well for them- January and the Meteor Awards in which Rodrigo gradually of music can’t listen to another, but London…I think people will couldn’t have dreamed that up real- lyrics such as ‘Take this silver lin- selves recently. Their latest album on the 2nd February. Visit increases the tempo of a riff until, y’know it felt quite obvious to us realise that we’re in for the long ly, for our band to be associated ing…and put it in your pretty Flock debuted at No.1 in the Irish at its climax, his guitar fills The that we were playing music quite haul when we release the new with such an interesting controver- www.bellx1.com for more head’. Charts upon its release last Point with a sound akin to a heli- different to Starsailor. Maybe it album.” sy. Though that might be just a details. copter engine, was trunkated. And now I have an They were well received of course admission to make…just after the (obviously some of their loyal fol- lowing had been unable to get tick- “I have an admission ets to the university gigs), but the to make…just after bulk of the crowd was just waiting for David, enjoying the comfort of the next song ‘Don’t their seats after a long day at work Ever Lie, Don’t Steal’, and all that standing out in the I…eh, fell asleep” foyer. In fairness, though, the age difference in fan bases present next song ‘Don’t Ever Lie, Don’t is probably easily explained by the Steal’, I…eh, fell asleep. Yes, you relative obscurity of Rodrigo y read it right. Glance across if you Gabriela in the eyes of the general must – it’s still printed there. I was public. That won’t last much obviously tired, but, let’s be honest longer, though. – I wouldn’t have fallen asleep dur- And so to David himself. ing a remotely exciting concert. He was greeted with fairly enthusi- But David, if you’re reading this, astic applause from the people who don’t worry – I fully appreciate had paid for their tickets, as he that I must have slept through the immediately struck into openers most exciting 20 minutes. Just my ‘Alibi’ followed by hit ‘Sail Away’. luck. I woke up with a pen stuck to During which I noticed that the my face, and no sensation in my drummer was wearing one of the legs. The crowd suddenly seemed most intriguing shirts I’ve ever a bit numbed too – the problem seen – something akin to how a 4 here lies not with David and his year old might depict the band’s considerable talents as per- Apocalypse. formers, but with trying to translate ‘Please Forgive Me’ – a well-written, thoughtful love songs good song to begin with – was fur- to a live setting, where people want ther endeared to the crowd with something to dance to. Unless of minor lyrical alterations ‘…mov- course they’re perfectly happy to ing out across the Irish Sea…deep sit, appreciate and clap during each into that Celtic mystery’. The song chorus and song ending. also contained what was (I And then the band left – hopefully not insulted by any snor- ing. But what of ‘Babylon’? The “The crowd suddenly crowd finally found its voice and seemed a bit numbed coaxed David et al back on stage. too – the problem As he sang the words ‘…what we gonna do, when the money runs here with trying to out?’, I couldn’t help but wonder translate well-written, how many of the crowd had been thoughtful love songs prompted into thinking about pen- sion reforms. to a live setting, As the show drew to a where people want close, the chorus line “Tell me something to dance something I don’t already know” was repeated so often it became to” self-fulfilling in a way. Finally the thought) the funniest…no, the only first notes of ‘Babylon’ rang out, funny moment of the concert...after and everyone seemed happier for Bell X1: Living life in the fast lane. the line ‘I got half a mind to scream it. Clapping and smiling and out loud’, many of those assembled whooping and whatnot. Certainly screamed in unison. After the fol- one of the best free gigs I’ve ever genre understandably requiring that sounding every bit the tribute to many of these songs aren't worth nowhere left to take us, and as a lowing line, ‘I got half a mind to been to – having said that, I’d be The Strokes: extra little bit of time to impress The Cramps, also features the best getting out of bed for. consequence, this is drained of all die’, there was a tangible quieten- plain embarrassed to name some of enough to draw you in. But three laid burst of energy on the album. On the upside, the originality. ing – there was a missed opportuni- the others. First albums into their career, and hav- To be sure, no surprises dynamic flutter of "Vision of ty here. The screens should have Talking to his quietly ing never quite lived up to the are going to be pulled, but as the Division," the pop precision of "Ize displayed a sequence of instruc- adoring fans after ‘Please Forgive Impressions explosive hype they initially found Verlaine-like licks continue, the of the World," and the unassuming tions along the lines of Me’, David said something inter- themselves gathering, The Strokes tracks manage to be held together "Fear of Sleep" ensure the Strokes' ‘sing…sing…sing…scream…sing esting – “…if I had another fifty of Earth may now be asking more of the lis- reasonably well...until it becomes faithful have a reassuring nest of …fake death/collapse…sing’ – just like that, man, I could rule the tener's patience than ever. apparent that Julian Casablancas' quality to nuzzle, each contending to lighten to the mood, albeit in a world. Where the fuck did that There are no prizes for lethargic vocals are intent on sap- with "Juicebox" to be perceived as quite contrary way. come from?!”. I wouldn’t quite go Cian Traynor recognising the sounds fuelling the ping any vitality out of the album. the album's best. Well, I thought it was a that far, but I wouldn’t stop him opening two tracks, the band using From "On the Other Side" on, a Though the production and overall funny idea - the potential sight of trying. Those fifty songs mightn’t the signatures of Television to open trend begins to emerge: the singer's sound can't be faulted, “First 2000 people staggering from imag- crush China, but they’d be well First impressions of Strokes proceedings on "You Only Live sluggish, half-hearted croon Impressions...” is a fair if not alto- inary gunshots or feigning heart worth hearing. albums can easily be deceptive, Once" followed by the catchy sin- smacks of a lack of effort and gether unremarkable release that's attacks. their efforts in such a well-worn gle "Juicebox," which, while leaves you with the impression that going over ground that has Moving on...‘My Oh Music Editor:Steve Clarke Tuesday January 24th, 2006 13 Trinity News MUSIC 2005: The Year in Gigs Mark Rodgers casts a critical eye on the year that was When the BBC ever gets around to fresh having received (possibly on setting. Sadly, despite the general following up their ‘I Love’ series of his backside, although I’m not greatness of the record, and their programmes with one dedicated to quite sure where these things actu- limitless energy, the Go! Team the this decade, what will they ally go) the Conor Oberst ‘stamp of were a bit underwhelming; you just come with for ‘I Love 2005’?. Will approval’ for an earnest and inti- couldn’t hear those recorder solos some non entity of a celebrity mate style of music that gosh dar- over the guitars. What’s that all inform us that Crazy Frog was real- nit, just hits you where it hurts about? A special shout out must go ly quite an ingenious post-modern every time. However, the feverish to support act DJ Scotch Egg take on the idea that people will excitement that greeted his every though, who managed a standing only make music in the future for inhalation of oxygen didn’t tally ovation for a set that consisted of the purposes of letting you know with the actual quality of his per- playing a game boy, throwing when you have a phone call, or that formance. I don’t think I’ve ever scotch eggs at the crowd and roar- 2005 was the year that poverty was seen so many people want to their ing at everyone to fuck off. Genius. finally made history? throw their underwear at a singer And so to May, if I had to In any case, any such before, and that was just the males choose my most memorable gig of look back on this particular orbit of in the audience. Boom Boom! The the year it would be Mike Watt, co- the earth around the sun will prob- whole thing was distinctly average, founder of the Minutemen at the ably fail to look at the year in con- he had a nice voice, had some Village, not for musical quality but certs. So, in the interests of those decent songs, but there was nothing for a Damascene conversion that I very nearly had. At one point in the “If I had to choose my most memorable gig of proceedings, Watt turned to the the year it would be Mike Watt...my entire crowd to tell us that we’d just have to be patient and bear with him moral universe, centred around the twin solar through some of the more admit- systems of the irony of Belle and Sebastian tedly weird stuff he was playing, and sarcasm of Alan Partridge was on the because he’d just come back from a very dark place recently, and he’d point of collapsing within itself as my shallow- realised that in life, you have to fol- ness of my existence up until then suddenly low your dreams; for him, music dawned upon me...” was therapy. His songs helped him realise who he was, and that basi- who come after us and may think to particularly memorable either. cally, you should try and live a ful- themselves: “I wonder, was there Perhaps, I’m being a bit harsh, but filling and meaningful life by being any good concerts in 2005?”, I I didn’t really see the fuss. There sincere about everything you do. At give you, a select, but indispensa- are millions of these singer song- this point, my entire moral uni- ble guide to the last twelve months writers about, and there wasn’t verse, centred around the twin solar of musical entertainment. All will anything here that really set him systems of the irony of Belle and be included: the good, the bad, and apart. Sebastian and sarcasm of Alan the ‘what the hell was I thinking Everybody’s favourite Partridge was on the point of col- that night that made me think I had Brighton six-piece, the Go! Team, lapsing within itself as my shallow- Sons And Daughters: Their music inspires violence. better things to do when X was landed in April. A sizeable number ness of my existence up until then about an hour so, a musical god. into their own, their ferocity on laptop, then you are going to be has recorded, but that would be playing?!’ of people crammed into the Village suddenly dawned upon me. Sometimes, in my quieter stage matching the intensity of quite restricted in how you recreate lying; it was just him. And a laptop. Willy Mason arrived at to see if their blend of Sonic Youth Fortunately, his next song was a moments, I like to think that if you their songs. So fierce are they live that live. Still, people used to level One other point to note is that his the Sugar Club some time around style guitars and sample-heavy hip bass heavy dirge, with whispering looked really closely at James in fact, that during a particular fre- the criticism at DJ’s that all they eyes were freakishly scary. the start of January or February hop could be translated into a live nonsensical vocals about stuffing a Murphy on that magical sunny day netic rendition of a song about did was play records, but the sup- So that was 2005, or a turkey with two balls that lasted at Oxegen, you could see that his corpses in a bath tub, one fan port act for Kieran Hebden’s gig at very small portion of it. However, five minutes too long. Thankfully it white top was actually stained with seemed to be so overcome by the the Temple Bar Music Centre, Kid there were others that I just didn’t means I still go to sleep with some type of spaghetti bolognese sentiments in the song that he Koala, (possibly the most appropri- go to, out of sheer laziness. It is too Stephen Malkmus on my head- sauce, thereby confirming that he decided to act out his own little ately named act ever, because a) he people that I missed that I now turn phones: too is just as fallible and human as ‘murder ballad’ on me, by grabbing looks like a child and b) also looks to. Stephen Malkmus, Malko, S- “I'm here to sing a song, the rest of us; and that anyone can Man, if you’re reading, I can only a song about privilege, the spikes become a pop star. “Stephen Malkmus, Malko, S-Man, if you’re apologise. I know you didn’t come you put on your feet when you Another high point was to Ireland this time but I was in were crawling and dancing, to the reading, I can only apologise... I have nothing Sons and Daughters at the Village. France at the same time as you top of the human shitpile. Signed to Domino on the back of a to say that could ever justify not going to your were in your tour, and yet I didn’t Shitpile!” recommendation from Franz gig” go. I have nothing to say that could I did actually enjoy some Ferdinand, they have been eclipsed ever justify not going. Also, Roots gigs in 2005. LCD Soundsystem somewhat by the inexplicable rise me by the neck and attempting to like a koala) showed that even this Manuva, I don’t think I’ll ever be were brilliant, not only for the fact of another signing to that label, throttle me. At least this is the only can be approached in a genuinely able to rationally explain what the that the energy and diversity of the Arctic Monkeys. Still, Sons and explanation I have been able to creative and inventive manner. hell I was at when you came to album became all the more appar- Daughters have an independence come up with so far. Because Four Tet is great, I would Dublin; please come back. I prom- ent on stage, but for the general about them that makes you feel that One act though who isn’t like to tell you that he came on ise I will be there. idea that a fat beardy man, in denim they will always be about, as other really suited to the live arena is stage accompanied by a 70 piece jeans and a plain white t shirt who trends come and go. It is live where Four Tet. Admittedly, if you do cre- orchestra who carefully recreated shouted into a microphone was, for Mark Rodgers, mid existential crisis Sons and Daughters really come ate the bulk of your music from a every whistle and wind chime he

But what is that voice? A track, as here and elsewhere there Deerhoof: daydreaming Asian teenage girl Ryan are a number of vocal bends adopt- Album Reviews plucked at random and placed in ed directly from Ray Davies (you The Runners front of an explosive rock band? Or Adams: may also recognize the guitar slide WOLF roughly half of the album’s tracks), disguise the cynical expression, an overweight madman with a on "The Sadness"). Wolf Parade have excited and allowing it to soar above decep- Four falsetto that's gone past the point of 29 Regardless, while per- delighted with a thrilling fusion of tively upbeat rhythms. no return? The real answer is haps being a little overdrawn, its PARADE guitars, drums, keyboards and elec- When it comes to Wolf Cian Traynor bassist Satomi Matsuzaki and her Cian Traynor storytelling narrative begins a nice tronics. Weaving these elements Parade, it is difficult to find a twisted English, daintily delivering run of refined yet sparse quality, APOLOGIES into a musical landscape that is in review of the band that doesn’t themes of espionage and magic in brandishing highlights in the form equal parts enchanting and haunt- make reference to the band’s net- what reads like Beat poetry: of the starkly beautiful "Night TO THE ing, Apologies …is a masterclass work of illustrious friends. Modest Birds" - which has all the flavor of in how to effectively blend dis- Mouse frontman Isaac Brock, who Revive your fire. Now, now, now. a modern jazz singer's composition QUEEN MARY parate musical layers, with no one effectively discovered the band in We have wolf minds. - and the laid back country breeze Niall Kelly ingredient dominating to the detri- 2003, is credited as producer on Knock your door of the minds hard of "Carolina Rain." ment of the overall sound. Yet, at Apologies …. The Arcade Fire to wake them up. Though clocking up to a To be cool among the indie-rock the same time, this wonderfully have made no effort to disguise Bark to the moon loud. Shout, total of 49 minutes, the nine tracks collective in 2005, one only needed unified musical background is lit- their soft-spot for the band, offer- shout, shout. that make up “29” feels decidedly to utter three simple words: THE. tered with catchy guitar hooks, ing support slots on numerous Make a wish come true. shorter than that, and chiefly ARCADE. FIRE. Setting the musi- melancholy keyboard intros and occasions during their propulsion Glare eternity. responsible for such an impression cal world alight with their energetic driving drum beats, ensuring that to stardom. However, once one is the choice to settle for a lightly- and engaging debut album, the powerful individuality of the steps back from the deluge of I had to give this album quite a few Forming a seemingly played piano and an occasional Funeral, Messrs Butler and compa- various instruments is never forgot- name-dropping and allows the playbacks just to see if my gut telepathic interplay with each touch of strings on the majority of ny effortlessly altered the course of ten. intricate musical brilliance of reaction wasn't simply over the top. other, the end product makes for a While releasing three new albums arrangements. Even the over-the- the musical bandwagon, bundling Though intricate and Apologies ... to reveal itself, it is Quite simply, this is a brilliant, dazzling combination that is in a year is quite a bold move, top "The Sadness" (which sounds it with ease from the well-trodden complex, this coherently diverse easy to appreciate Wolf Parade as dynamic, and insane listen. Now, strangely (and perhaps inexplica- Ryan Adams' track record in recent like it considers itself to be some path of skinny ties and post-punk sound provides Krug and Boeckner one of the most exciting ‘new’ one could argue about what band bly) compelling; few releases this years should mean his prolific out- kind of Tex-Mex epic) attempts in indie imitators. Earmarking with an excellent platform from bands of the moment. This year’s came first and who influenced who put levels makes for a string of vain to break up the run of same- Montreal as the musical scene du which they can captivate listeners. Arcade Fire? Don’t be surprised! 'til the cows come home, but it Like a crazed, lolly- welcome appearances in the ness, but just sounds silly and out jour, The Arcade Fire’s success The two work excellently together, would be far more satisfying to try pop-twirling devil release dates listings. Returning of place; and so by the time we sent industry figureheads scouring alternating with ease, and often Apologies To The Queen Mary is and determine just what the hell without backing band the Cardinals reach "Voices," it's become a little around poorly-lit basements and combining to create some wonder- out now on Sub Pop Records this is. with eyes like solar in tow this time, Adams changes too late to distinguish what's on dingy clubs in search of a similar fully off-kilter harmonies. Though Like a crazed, lollypop- eclipses and arms his sound once again, parading a offer from the album's earlier sound and similar success. Among their voices are sometimes difficult twirling devil with eyes like solar like slot machine han- different side to his diversity by incarnations. those hoisted from obscurity and to comprehend, once understood, eclipses and arms like slot machine going for a largely more stripped Ultimately, Adams' third tipped for success in 2006 were they reveal tales of childhood handles, “The Runners Four” has dles, “The Runners down, piano-based setup that flirts effort of the year may be one just Brooklyn newbies Clap Your dreams, disillusionment with the what it takes to be the 21st century Four” has what it with melancholia. for the hardcore collective, but if Hands Say Yeah, as well as indus- modern world, lost love, and a equivalent to "Safe as Milk," given takes to be the 21st Starting matters off mis- anything, by undertaking outfits try stalwarts Broken Social Scene. strange obsession with ghosts. half the chance. In terms of compo- leadingly, however, is the rhyth- that others would automatically But, following the release of their Lyrically, the band’s disenchant- sition alone, Deerhoof's tenth century equivalent to m'n' rocker “29,” and sound pretentious in other singer- fabulous debut album Apologies ment dominates - on one of the album (which is twice as long as "Safe as Milk." although its melody line is blatant- s’hands, 29 underlines the notion …, it may in fact be Montreal quar- album’s standout tracks, ‘Dear any of their previous efforts) has to ly lifted from the Grateful Dead's that he is cut from a very tradition- tet Wolf Parade, quietly gnashing Sons And Daughters Of Hungry be admired as a work of invigorat- year have excited me in the way "Truckin'," Adams packs it with al cloth of American - their teeth in the background, that Ghosts’, Krug moans that “we'll ing vibrancy. Giving you the sense “The Runners Four” does. Not verve, making it enough of an one that seems ever closer to that these tracks could work effective outing to let him away steal the hearts and minds of music say it's in God's hands / but God only will it be guaranteed to bring extinction. lovers this year. doesn't always have the best god- extraordinarily well even as instru- me back for repeated visits, but I with any accusations of pilfering. Formed in 2003 as a col- damn plans, does he?”. However, mentals, Chris Cohen and John look forward to the process of However, on the eight-minute-long laborative effort between co-vocal- the overall tone of the album is pre- Dieterich's guitars hop scotch growing into it. To know that it was "Strawberry Wine," it seems that ists Dan Boeckner and Spencer vented from becoming overly together to take you somewhere recorded live only helps to astound the borrowing of elements isn't Krug (each sings lead vocals on depressive, as Wolf Parade cleverly utterly fantastic. me further. going to be isolated to the title 14 Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Food & Drink Editor: Rosie Gogan-Keogh FOOD & DRINK Trinity News

The Dublin Food Conspicuous Experience Consumption …With Claudia Rosie Gogan-Keogh visits La Taverna Di Bacco

La Taverna Di Bacco, Braün 26 Lower Ormond Quay, acquires a suitable mate, the culi- fresh eel must be turned, wriggling, Dublin 1. nary arts may – from time to time – out of its skin. A ‘Snickersbar’ need to be called upon to stoke the does not wriggle or writhe, howev- Ph. (01) 8741000 flames of Eros. This is nothing of er, but rather sits upon the plate, which to be ashamed. Allow me to slablike and inert – awaiting the elucidate. Following an extended preparatory touch which will trans- Just before Christmas I moved out business trip to Thailand, Mr. form it from mere proletarian of home for the first time. And in Browne returned suffering from stuffage into a substance of untold with my boyfriend. The latter fact I such extreme – and mysterious – power. The bar must be thinly omitted to tell my mother – afraid exhaustion that the pleasures of the sliced in the manner of an extreme- of her reaction and disapproval and flesh seemed utterly beyond him. ly small loaf of bread, and the the fear that she might try and stop Summoning all my digity, I slices placed in a perfect pentacle me. When I eventually told her arranged a summit with Chef to upon an untarnished silver platter. several weeks later, long enough which I arrived fully composed and This platter must then be carried by for me to think I was now out of with confidentiality agreement in the Lover to the Beloved, the slices her grasp. How could she be angry, hand. Chef – who had gone placed communion-like upon the I was the happiest she had ever through upwards of two dozen tongue of the Beloved as he sleeps seen me, the only thing she was It may come as a surprise to you, dear readers, to learn that night- scullery maids since arriving just and there allowed, one-by-one, to upset about was the fact I had lied. three months earlier – showed per- dissolve. This was one of those cringe wor- time can be a lonely time in Women’s Prison. Of course, a per- fect sensitivity to the conundrum in I need not go into details thy moments in life where you can which I found myself. of the instantaneous and transfor- pinpoint the moment you left son such as I may appear to be ele- vated far above the grasp of an Eschewing the conven- mative effect of this ritual upon behind a certain moment of child- tional aphrodisiacs of which I am Mr. Browne. All I will say is that hood and made me determined to emotion so pedestrain as loneli- ness, yet let it not be forgotten that sure you are aware (oysters, pome- by the following weekend I lay, never lie again. prone, upon the chaise longue in Mr. Mick Wallace has a though I am a woman of exception, “The bar must be thinly I am still a woman – and my hard such a state of ravishment that even lot to learn about lying. He con- sliced in the manner of a King Size Snickersbar crammed vinced himself that he is the bunk (in the cell I share with an arsonist known popularly as Big whole into my gaping mouth by a utmost Italian connoisseur and has rants, a food shop and delicatessen the most important hurdle. Food up- grilled bread, tomato, basil and an extremely small loaf phalanx of Bavarian stormtroopers made the ultimate statement of this and the much-loved Enoteca Della has failed him, or perhaps he has olive oil. Simple but tasty in its Sharon) can indeed be a lonely of bread, and the slices place. Oftentimes, I clasp my pil- could not have stirred me to further on Suffolk Quay.The big-time Langhe wine-bar. This is certainly failed food. own right. The real let down lay in placed in a perfect pen- activities. As I lay there, insensate, builder, part of the group of Celtic not the kind of place one might Yet he tries so hard. The the main courses. I have never sent low tightly to my firm bosom and think back upon the pleasures of a thought occurred to me which I Tiger successes, has a now-famed, come searching for a cheap pint. In impassioned speech at the begin- a dish back. But in my new ‘hon- tacle upon an untar- often summon now to fortify long time love of Italy. The entire fact there isn’t a beer in sight. And ning of the menu, really does build esty is the only policy’ steadfast romance… nished silver platter. All successful courtships myself against the intellectual and of Dublin now knows this due to a good thing too as the enormous one up for amazing things to come. determination, I decided I would This platter must then gastronomic starvation I undergo his infamous street known as ‘that selection of Italian-sourced wine is We are told that this restaurant not endure the tasteless sticky balls begin with a successful first meal. For example, my most recent hus- here: It is often the lack of a pleas- new one off the quays’ or in some the one thing Wallace has managed exists because of a genuine love of of dough, politely referred to as be carried by the Lover ure which makes the moment of its circles ‘Wallace Way’. to get right. That, and the plates of the wonders of real traditional Gnocchi. Slightly sickened by this band, the country’s foremost book- to the Beloved, the slices maker Mr. Browne, treated me to a acquisition all the more thrilling. For those of you who experience, I could not face any placed communion-like As I choke back my grey gruel and have not yet been inspired by I have never sent a dish back. But in my new more food, so stuck to the wine delicious gorilla paté at our first dinner engagement – one which he ward off the attentions of Big intrigue to see where the other side ‘honesty is the only policy’ steadfast determi- instead. The other mains didn’t upon the tongue of the Sharon, I think of the carnal and of the Millennium Bridge leads to, fare much better with incredibly had had specially flown in for the Beloved as he sleeps and nation, I decided I would not endure the taste- occasion. This I took to be a good alimentary pleasures that await my it is the Northside’s latest bid to dry venison and a pasta dish with a there allowed, one-by- release, and am reminded that rival Temple bar, since the failed less sticky balls of dough, politely referred to name three Italian sentences long, sign, and immediately set about devising the menu for our wedding while absence may not make the attempt of Smithfield. But as Gnocchi” which tasted more like gone off one, to dissolve.” heart grow fonder, it certainly Smithfield’s problem was that no Knor Pasta Funghe. reception. On the other hand, young ladies would be well granites, things of that nature), he serves to bring the appetite to a matter how many Luas lines went Crostini and Antipasti that you can Italian food. It is important swore me to the highest level of furious boil. by it would never be central. For order along with it. But, then At long last, we have an to remember that La Taverna is at advised to vacate a dinner engage- ment with maximum haste should secrecy before disclosing his recipe this reason Wallace’s tactful gap again, how hard is it to get expert- Italian restaurant, which is by no the lower end of the scale in the for ardour. What was revealed NEXT TIME: A conundrum for between two buildings has been a ly sourced wine and slices of means a slap-dash Spaghetti Wallace price range. So slightly their would-be beau show the sheer vulgarity to order from the menu, caused my heart to miss seveal Claudia. great success. bread, meat and cheese wrong. Bolognese and Margarita pizza more in line with a student budget. beats. Chef told me of a mysteri- Wallace obviously does- Until recently I had only affair, I thought. The menu is With starters ranging from E6 to suggest ‘splitting the bill’ or, for that matter, suggest a dinner date in ous ingot of food – known to the [Claudia Braün is in conversation n’t need the money that this street been to Enoteca and perused impressive; well it appears so, with E9 and main courses from E10 to great unwashed as a ‘Snickersbar’ with David Turpin.] must earn; this is simply his own around the Deli. For this reason I as little English as possible. It E15. But this is no excuse. It only an establishment in which he is not at the very least the primary share- – which, when prepared in a certain playground where he gets to play held Wallace’s Way with a mod- changes every three weeks but gives us the vague hope that way, was known to be an aphro- out his personal fantasies. He can icum of respect. It was something generally sticks to a selection of Wallace has achieved his dream of holder. If a man cannot offer culi- nary luxury, my female readers disiac of positively volcanic poten- usually be seen hanging out in the different, offbeat classy without one pasta dish, one meat, one fish authentic Italian food in one of his cy. wine-bar with his other Caterpillar being pretentious. However , since etc. You get the picture. more upmarket restaurants. may rest assured that this paucity will continue into other areas. The ‘Snickersbar’ must clad builder mates. my visit to La Taverna I have My starter of Bruschetta first be skinned of its plastic There are several restau- realised that Wallace has fallen at was basic -can’t possibly screw Of course, once one sheath, in much the same way as a SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL Various You Decide The essence of this column is cheap. But a cheap pint doesn’t have to mean a bad pint. It is with this in mind that we are including a section on drinking on the bright side of three euro. If you are taste sensitive then turn away now. The sunny side of three euro per pint comes at a cost, the bar maids with hoof dentures, the funeral time music and the refreshing taste of anti-design. This is not Dawson Street country. “Goin’ down the Offo” This is the first year I o’clock jogs and ten hours study a of two.’ Unless, you’re some kind the way to go. have successfully managed to day. of neurotic straight-laced account- e) Not that I’m advocating break- make it to mid-January without ant you do what any other sane per- Here is my guide to ing the law – but if you happen to breaking any of my New Year’s And so I have embarked son would do and either buy some drinking cheap in Dublin: be bringing your alcohol into a resolutions. Thankfully, however, on this new year with a policy of cans, drink them before going out, premises – don’t try it if you see this does not mean that I have been one hundred per cent honesty. It is or perhaps a nagan to stick in your a) Nobody thinks this far in lots of full nagans and coke bottles surviving on a diet of raw eggs and with some difficulty that I have back pocket and pour into a nice advance but if you do Lidl and Aldi on the ground around the bouncers. pumpkin seeds. Last year as the stretched it to writing this column. are the way to go. Use your head – drink it first, or clock struck 12, amongst the mad- When I found myself asking “You’rebroke,it’s pop around the corner and stuff it ness of Hospital’s Twenty Hands at friends where in town I could buy a Friday night, you’re b) Centras etc. are that bit more down your jocks, and next time the Music Centre, I took that cheap pint I had to stop myself. hardly going to say: expensive but they do stay open invent a fail safe secret pocket to inward look and instead of decid- Surely I should take it as a sign that that bit later – often a quandary. fool even the most intelligent (per- ing on a gung-ho rebuttal of my I hadn’t actually been to that ‘Well, I might as well Their winning factor is location, haps least dumb is more fitting) of physical state I resolved to tackle “dodgy place on Frances Street.” go to -insert random location, location and you are also doormen. that of my brain instead. The fact of the matter is that when oul lad pub here- nearly always guaranteed to find considering a night out going the cheapest wine. f) Finally -the most sensible of I am a fairly sane person, somewhere that I do not necessari- where I can get three points- if you find yourself com- as much so as the next person – so ly like simply to save a euro or two drinksinstead.of two.’” c) Dunne’s on Georges Street don’t pletely broke and still pondering my plan didn’t stretch as far as is not my buzz. Nor, in retrospect, stock beer in the fridge and getting how many cans you can get for checking myself into a mental hos- is it the vast majority of people’s. glass of ice while in the toilets of asked for ID by a fifteen year old €8.17, perhaps its time to reconsid- pital once I’d recovered from the your favourite hip-happening club. that claims they’re the manager er a) your alcoholism b) the loca- festivities of the night before. No, I Let’s face it – you’re means they lose my vote. tions you choose to pursue this dis- made up my mind to stop lying, to broke, it’s Friday night, you’re Fact? Come on we have ease and c) the people with which others, but most importantly hardly going to say: ‘Well, I have a all been there. I for one refuse any d)Once it starts heating up again you do so. Surprisingly enough myself. We all fib, there’s no point tenner so I might as well go to longer to be scandalously ripped we all know the Pav is the only there are places and people in this in denying it. Hence I made no insert random oul lad pub here off by pubs anymore. Buying place you can drink your own drink city where and who with you can attempt at drawing up a plan of six where I can get three drinks instead booze in the off-licence is simply outside and get away with it. still manage to have sober fun! Tuesday January 24th, 2006 15 Trinity News FOOD & DRINK This year I will ... Harry Johnstone’s Words take over the world! Of Having trouble sticking to those New Year’s Resolutions? Hana Chelache takes us through the fickle world of human resolve and tells us how to embark on a healthy New Year. Wine Let me guess, on January the first 2006 continues on, have you but its probably the most attractive evision if they can’t fit into a dress people who want us to eat nothing Another festive season over. Us world battle for wine sales. this year you were turning your become, like just about every other you’re ever going to be. The fact that was too small at the beginning. but pure protein. And Special K Christians celebrating the birth of The west coast Palandri back on your couch potato exis- person on the face of the planet that you nearly pass out walking up Well they all managed to pull it off, I’m sorry but you are a product our saviour then the start of Estate 2001, was a well-reputed tence, you were only going to eat again? the stairs? (or run to the shops and buy a big- packed with sugar, salt and artifi- another year by gorging ourselves Shiraz, reduced from €14.95 to the type of food that is usually Why are you flabby, Well the sad thing is ger dress), but the result was horri- cial sweeteners. Any woman that stupid and keeping those chubby €11 yet still lacking value. found in pet shops, never drink spotty, why don’t you have the sex you’ll probably never be fitter. We ble. decides she is going to eat nothing cheeks ruddy for the best part of Fragrancing strawberry and cher- again, and fit an Olympian style drive of a pre-menopausal rhino? all have to accept that given the Here was Richard but you for a whole month to fit a week (or three) by imbibing an ry, this big, powerful wine exercise programme around col- Well, and you find this hard to sorry state we’re all in now then it’s Madely, hardly a pin up himself, into a pair of jeans she bought array of alcohols: wine, port, seemed simply that. Big is not lege. And you probably kept it up accept, but it’s probably because probably all down hill from here. A asking the three contestants if when she is twelve is either pig brandy, champagne, whiskey, always better, and all its taste for a few days, didn’t you? A you’re a mere-mortal, not a super- lifetime of healthy eating probably they’d be eating an alternative ignorant, or a victim of her own stouts and beers in all shapes and could garner from our panel Buddhist monk would have winced model or a movie star, and there’s won’t make much of a difference. Christmas dinner to the rest of their vanity. forms. Ah, the time for taking is was… “Pepper“, and little more. to see your new routine of rigorous not much any of us can do to At the end of your lifetime you’ll families or just having a smaller So what are we going to over, and our bellies and livers David O ‘Leary, the self-denial. And God weren’t you change it. Look at yourself in the probably look just like everyone portion, I think I’d rather look at a do then? We have the very real and pockets have paid the price. former chief wine maker at feeling smug? So why now, as mirror; it may not be a pretty sight else does, old, not a ninety-year-old screen full of fat women. Can you threat of cancer, heart disease and Well, the New Year Harveys and twice international Greek God. imagine anything more offensive, diabetes on the one hand, but on the brings plenty of imaginings, for- winemaker of the year, has craft- But I personally don’t or unnerving, then being a member other hand evil thin people making ward-thinking and Big Talk from ed a clever Cabernet mind. New Year’s resolutions in of those women’s families on money from our vulnerability bom- the visionaries among us. I Sauvignon/Shiraz whose form my opinion are just part of the Christmas day? In this context eat- bard us. There are books out there would recommend looking no and taste will appeal very much downward spiral of self-hatred that ing what you’re meant to eat during that do genuinely want to make you further than The Corkscrew on to the newer generation of winos. modern society has created for us. the festive period would suddenly healthier, but if you can’t follow Chatham Street, for a re-stocking Complete with screw top and Just days after Christmas people become a great big sign around one of these impossible schemes who make their money off you by your neck saying, “I am a greedy don’t worry. I think the reason most telling you that you are fat start to and self indulgent fat bastard who people don’t stick to these things squeeze every penny they can out deserves to have a heart attack or a that “will change your life” is prob- of you with numerous work out stroke as my only present this ably the same reason that not a lot videos and diet books, (well they year.” Definitely not looking for- of people become Buddhist monks. might be right, but there’s no need ward to that pleasant day. We simply don’t want to, what we to capitalise on it). This isn’t me trying to eat is usually determined by what This process began early advocate damaging your body by we enjoy, we usually don’t exercise this year; to my horror the good eating unhealthy food. Neither am I because we don’t enjoy it. My sug- people at Richard and Judy, one of having a cheap crack at the media gestion is not that you make up my favourite TV programmes, pre- being used as a tool to educate peo- some resolutions you know that sented us this year with their ple and bring about some real you can keep, which doesn’t mean “amazing drop a dress size” change, 2005 for me will always be you have to actually “give up” any- scheme in which they ask three the year when the media actually thing or suffer, but where you’ll be women with who weren’t unattrac- made a visible change for the better able to see the rewards for yourself. tive or endangering their health in a with Jamie Oliver’s campaign to I was going to try and come up with major way but qualified for this get healthier meals served in ten, but not being a qualified nutri- scheme because they had body British schools. But at the same tionist, or a Greek Goddess myself shapes that a hundred years ago time there has to be a balance, I’m you’ll have to be satisfied with would have probably passed as sure during the 1940s when people eight, but I think they’re pretty pain normal, especially after childbirth, were apparently never healthier free. Who knows, you might even were submitted to a three week bookshops were full of proper enjoy trying them out. regime that looked like torture, to books that actually advanced your be publicly shamed on national tel- brain, not full of stuff written by Do they really know the answers? of the cellar, or perhaps an funky artwork label, the wine assuaging of one’s newly found exudes a modern feel. Its bright thirst for wine. The January Sale and brash and for tasters, it’s big. certainly applies here, so too do Southern Roo 2002, its called, Hana’s New Year’s Eating Tips some choice wines from the New and represents one grape type of World. a number of ‘Heath Wines’ from 1. Buy food you’re actually going either or you loose half the nutri- find that hummus is really nice stop feeling so guilty all the time. As Chilean wines surf different parts of the country. to eat. I always have to throw food ents and taste. What ever you do alternative spread, although it 7. Eat pulses, (by that I mean the wave of global commercial The consortium was founded by away and it is such a waste. If you don’t take those bloody vitamin doesn’t go with everything. It’s 6. Eat fish at least once a week, but beans); they are a lot cheaper than popularity, Dublin stockists con- Alan Heath, the former racing have a blender make a soup or a pills instead. First of all they are made from chickpeas and sesame I’m not talking about some poncey meat and higher in protein, so tinue to offload such accessible, driver turned businessman. This smoothie out of all the stuff that’s ridiculously expensive, if you want seed oil, so it’s for you and already cod, I’m talking about oily fish like there. You can use them to make all value-driven produce by the smelt of vanilla and saffron, but left over before it goes funny. This to cover everything you need in contains proteins, plus its one of salmon, trout, monkfish, and kinds of things as well, sauces, shipload to happy customers. tasted of berries and cream, is a great way of including the stuff your diet you’ll be spending three my favourite foods. Plain Greek mackerel. You can get all of these a soups, burgers, basically anything Tabali 2002, a Merlot from vina again, but was complemented by you can’t bear, because its taste digit figures. Secondly what you yoghurt is also good mixed in with lot cheaper if you go to a local fish- you use meat in. Tofu can also be san pedro, was another case in hints of cherry and liquorish. At will be hidden by just about every- get naturally is what’s best for you tuna fish as an alternative to may- monger, even though they do tend really nice as if you cook it point. Grown from vines in the 14% it’ll guarantee enjoyment. thing. and thirdly, how are you meant to onnaise, and if you use tuna that keep quite student unfriendly Japanese style. Try frying some Lamari Valley, which is now The Corkscrew has erm … dispose of your waste, if has been preserved in fresh water, hours. These things contain that tofu and vegetables in a little bit of famous for its heat, its height and kindly agreed to offer special 2. Be inventive with fruit and veg- you don’t have a bit of roughage. with no added salt or oil then the stuff called omega 3, I’m not quite olive oil, then add water with a the fact that this terrain of quality 10% discounts on all wines for etables. To quote everyone’s only other good deed you need to sure what it exactly does but its couple of spoons of miso in it (this vineyards was only discovered 10 TCD students, providing they can favourite housewife Marge 3. Put raisins on your breakfast do that day is polish your own great. I was a vegetarian for two soy bean thing you can get in ori- years ago. The nose offered lots show ID. This last wine, Simpson “fruit is nature’s candy”. cereal (or museli if you’re smug). halo, you smug little angel. years, and by the end of those two ental food markets, its very good of bouncy fruits; both tropical Southern Roo, has been specially If it’s something different then it’s They make everything chewier, years so much of my hair had bro- for you but be warned, its disgust- and blackcurrants-and-cream at reduced to us for €11.50. probably good for you and also sat- sweeter and its all perfectly natu- 5. Enjoy cooking and enjoy eating, ken off that it was half its previous ing and nutritionally useless unless the same time. The wine was It really is Great value isfying. Especially with vegeta- ral, ah bliss. that’s what Dr Atkins probably thickness. I started eating fish its fresh), noodles and if you want super - creamy, rich, dry, with for the perfect example of a south bles, these things are colour co- won’t tell you to do. Cook with flat again and this problem just went stir in an egg and watch it cook. It’s nice balance - and all this for a east Australian red. Go and try it, ordinated for a reason; a full spec- 4. Make your own packed lunch to mates and be creative so it doesn’t away, so I must be doing some- basically Wagamama’s in your reduced price of €9.95. It exem- if only to keep that liver on its trum of colours means a full spec- bring into college so at the end of feel like a chore. And also take thing right. Also when you cook it own home in about ten minutes, plified a Chilean under €10. toes… trum of vitamins, even a baby the week you can afford to treat some time out from all this worry- put a splash of olive oil, as much perfect. What followed were could work this one out. We are yourself to lunch at a place you ing to treat yourself. So what if you lemon juice as you can squeeze 8. I really don’t want to include two Australians, one from the meant to enjoy eating these things, really enjoy. I probably need to enjoy eating chocolate cake? Are out, herbs and halved cherry toma- this one but I’m going to have to. usual stable for big, robust reds, All wines are available I know I don’t want to die not start doing this as well because you really a bad person who’ll go toes, wrap it up in tin foil and bung Find a form of exercise you enjoy and another grown in the west. at The Corkscrew, Chatham knowing what a paw-paw is like, most of my money last year went to hell for having a fry up on a it in the oven for twenty five min- and do it regularly. If you succeed Brand marketing in Australia and Street, Dublin 2. and you don’t just get vitamin C on dodgy sandwiches from chain Sunday morning or drinking on a utes so you also have a sauce to put in doing this, please tell me to get the rest of the New World, like from oranges you know, kiwis and stores. It can be kind of puzzling Saturday night? Don’t go over on your rice, pasta or whatever. If off my bum and join you. wine-based technology, is miles tomatoes are also full of the stuff. knowing what to put in your sand- board, but if you’re intelligent you’re a vegetarian then linseeds ahead of the French, who seem to A good start is to eat two portions wiches, if you have anything spare enough to be able to judge a also have lots of omega 3, and you retreat further and further into the of vegetables with every evening lying around then my advice is healthy diet then you deserve to don’t need to cook them, so you Medoc, when it comes to the meal, and don’t overcook them bung it in, including salad. I also rewards yourself for it. Oh, and probably win.

The question lurks- where can you get a decent coffee in town after 9 o clock and not have to pay through the nose for it? In my misguided youth, the answer was EscapeEscape FromFrom inevitably- Eddie Rockets. However, one cold wintery evening in 5th year, all that changed. Through unquestionable divine intervention, I happened upon Heavenly Food Company.

Where? Temple Bar Square- next to the Hagen Daaz Café (my computer doesn’t acknowledge the existence of umlauts so I apologize to any German speakers TheThe ButterButteryy...... who are offended by the lack thereof). How long? From Main Arch, down Dame St. and down by Central Bank, it takes about 5ish minutes.

Staff? Two foreign girls who serve with a smile and are generous with their free Chocolates. Heavenly Food Company Prices? Coffee starts at about €1.75 Heavenly Food Company Seating? Herein lies the downside, all seating is outdoors. This is rather cosmopolitan European and whatnot in the summer, but not particularly fun in a cold Irish January.

Unexpected Upside? Most cafés would be content serving one hot drink to perfection and leaving other beverages to chance. Not this place. Whether you go for the beautiful hot chocolate, or as I call it on my grumpy days- ‘fat in a cup’ or their vanilla chai lattés, you won’t be disappointed. with Ailbhe Malone with Ailbhe Malone Unexpected Downside? Whatever you do, DON’T TRY THE HOT DOGS. Sure, they may look tempting but after 3 bites your stomach begins to rebel in a vengeful manner…..

Finally……. If you get a seat at the right time of the evening on a Saturday night, that funny man who wears leopardskin and limbos under firey poles performs right beneath your nose. 16 Travel Editor: Alix O’Neill Tuesday January 24, 2006 Trinity News TRAVEL Aussie Rules- The Backpacker’s Guide to Down Under Ruth Patten on surf and skydiving on the Bruce Highway

The most trampled of all the beat- minibuses left every morning and ever (the Amsterdam of Australia), majority of my time was spent en tracks in the great island that is allowed me to meet a great many it is more than bizarre when the old washing everything I owned and Australia is the Sydney to Cairns people along the way who were in lady in the bookshop offers to sell finding antihistamines for an route. It takes you up the east coast exactly the same position as me. you marijuana. Then Passing into unfortunate reaction to spider bites. and through where the majority of That is just as lost, solitary and Queensland to the beautiful Gold From here, (I told you this was the population calls their home. I utterly liberated. Up early we left Coast, also known as Surfers’ whirlwind!) we passed though was lucky to find my way there last Sydney for a three day surf camp Paradise, for obvious reasons. It is Rainbow beach, Hervey Bay (with Summer and I would advise every- where I finally came face to face very commercialised, filled with access to Frasier Island), Agnes one to beg, borrow, steal or stow- with my ultimate fear: the sea. Yes, what is known as ‘Australiana’ Waters –where I continued my away in order to get there. Most I am that pathetic but having seen –sort of the equivalent of the green lucky streak with by crashing my people are lucky enough to have up ‘Jaws’ at the age of five I have leprechaun hats you see in Temple scooter- a night in a working cattle to a year to get to know the place been unable to go any deeper than Bar, but miles and miles of beach- station in Kroombit and up to but I only had seven weeks; seven paddling ever since. For the first es and excellent surf. Up the road Selena for a game of lawn bowls. frantic, exhausting, exhilarating, hour I was swearing like a trooper is Brisbane (BrisVegas!), where Whew! fabulous weeks of endless roads All of this was done dou- and the coast almost constantly to “I finally decided to take the plunge; a 14,000 ble quick so that I could spend my right. Starting in the surprising- some time in Airlie beach, or more ly familiar city of Sydney provided feet parachute jump with a 60 second freefall specifically in a racing boat called a few introductions to Oz. I sam- awaited me and Brett, my instructor, who the Condor sailing around the pled the obvious destinations; the inspired me with confidence by having the Whitsunday Islands. I cannot fully aquarium (fantastic), the opera express how amazing it is to be house (bigger than you expect) and Batman symbol emblazzoned on his jump- hanging on to the deck of the the fantastic climb up to the top of suit” Condor as she sails on her side the the Sydney Harbour Bridge while humpback whales sing to (incredible, especially at night, at every failed attempt (which, if they created a beach in the city you and the sun and wind beat at what a view!) There was almost you have ever been surfing, you centre (why not?) and is surround- you in equal measure. I was lucky too much to talk about but visits to will know are many!) but soon I ed by a suburbia filled with mas- at this point to find people on this Manly, Bondi and the awe inspir- was laughing at the madness of it sive theme parks. trip who were to travel with me up ing Blue Mountains are mandatory, all with the others and, shock, actu- From Brisbane I went north again the coast and we travelled through although perhaps not including the ally enjoying myself. By the sec- to the small town of Mooloolaba to Magnetic Island. This is a more four hour bush-walk that left me ond day I was even able to just beside Steve Irwin’s famous exclusive hotspot with sunset practically asthmatic for the first stand…for about three seconds. Australia Zoo. Enthusiastic and beach parties and sea kayaking in time in my life! On up the coast to Byron more hands on than any other zoo I the early morning before moving Being on my own, or Bay, possibly the most fabulous have ever been to, this place is on to Mission Beach, a really quiet what is known as “an Independent town in Australia, and that is say- worth a visit for his custom-made and mental town where every sec- Traveller” (sounds much more ing a great deal. Staying there long posh than backpacker) I chose to enough to get my diving passport, hood) is not for the fainthearted. the visa ran out) but we compro- suit. And so it was home on a very travel with a company called “Oz nearly drowning when my gear “I cannot fully express how amazing it is to On the way to Cairns was a mised and headed further north to big high from my travels in Oz. A Experience”. Their manic drivers decided to float away while twelve be hanging on to the deck of a racing boat as crocdile farm –while it was never Port Douglas and exploring the place I left with a burning desire to ferried us independent travellers metres underwater and sampling she sails on her side while humpback whales really in doubt, I will still NEVER Great Barrier Reef off the coast of return and do it all again as well as (otherwise known as those of us the eclectic mix of hippy living and be buying crocodile skin anything- Cape Tribulation. Glorious! In the all the stuff I could not do with the with no friends) up the coast. Quite the madness of the backpacker sing to you and the sun and wind beat at you where I fell in love with a python days before my flight out of Cairns time limitation. In fact, in order to a bit more expensive than the mun- Mecca club “Cheeky Monkey’s”, I in equal measure” called Louisa, passing Millaa I huffed and puffed and finally fulfil this ambition I am willing to dane Greyhound service but well was on my way again. We passed Millaa Falls and the prerequisite decided to take the plunge; a take sponsorship, donations, loans worth it for the extras alone –such Nimbin, a small town that was Crocosseum alone! More famous ond person is a mildly abusive sky- Bungy centre (Minjin!) before 14,000 feet parachute jump with a you don’t expect to get repayed as getting into theme parks after taken over by hippies in the 70’s for backpackers is the bigger town diver. Home of the famous ‘Jump reaching the city of Cairns. At this 60 second freefall awaited me and anytime soon, anything …please?! closing, surfing in tiny coastal for an Aquarius festival and then of Noosa up the coast where I the Beach’ skydive, this town (or point I was highly tempted to Brett, my instructor who inspired towns and a night in a rustic cattle changed irrevocably when they unfortunately discovered spiders really just the hostel with a club change my flights and stay in confidence by having the Batman station in the outback. The refused to leave; the craziest town had infested my clothes and the attached in a sprawling neighbour- Australia forever (or at least until symbol emblazzened on his jump- Galapagos: Worth Discovering (That’s the Theory Anyway...) Ayson Mc Evoy cruises the isles of Darwin’s dreams

from one another by boat) and vari- even the most alluring female tor- seaman didn’t have enough money sky turned various shades of ations in island age and topography Now that you have an toise just doesn’t seem to get him in the account for us to cash our orange and purple until it was time e.g. some taller islands have humid idea of what the islands are all going and on the rare occasion that cheques. At this stage I had zoned to board the boat again. Eventually zones in the highlands which sup- about, I’ll get down to what I got they do, other problems arise for out and let the more vocal, and the lingering clouds faded from port different species of plants and up to there. the ancient George! burly, of the passengers fight the view from the deck of the boat and animals. I remember clearly the We spent that afternoon cause. Half an hour later all the melted into the night sky. We began - Half of all bird species, a third of day that I booked and paid for my swimming at what I am convinced cheques were cashed but as we left sailing during the night to the next all plants and all reptiles on the trip to the Galapagos. I went has to be the most secluded and the bank the feeling of satisfaction island and it was a truly new expe- islands are endemic and exist through an agency called peaceful beach in the world. That but this was sadly tinged with dis- rience to sleep in a tiny boat, miles nowhere else on earth!! ‘Unforgettable Expeditions’. The and miles from any mainland. - Needless to say, tourist numbers hope of such an expedition began “It was like walking through an untrammeled zoo (Having said that, it’s not one that I are restricted and tourists can only to fade during my journey to the and the animals, having been free from predators would repeat many times!) see designated visitor sites in the main island of Santa Cruz, when I We visited Isla Espanola national park courtesy of a trained remembered that I have a tendency for millenia, either languidly accepted our pres- the following morning and fol- guide, and, to reduce soil erosion towards seasickness. And so, I ence, or came to investigate/welcome us” lowed a trail around the island can only travel via delineated spent the first two hours on the which displayed the majority of paths. waters surrounding the islands with is, apart from the iguanas, lizards, appointment, and the realisation what is found there. Huge groups - There’s an Irish connection to the my head and neck hanging off the lava gulls and herons lazing about that we had already missed two of marine iguanas lay in piles on islands too… (There always is!). side of a speedboat. the rocks, and the sea turtles glid- days of touring the islands. It the rocks, literally on top of one The first permanent resident on My friend Lizzy and I ing through the waters. That night turned out that there had been a another, and albatrosses, tropic Floreana island was an Irish sailor were a bit confused when we ended was spent in a hotel on the same problem with the wood on the ship birds, Galapagos doves, masked named Patrick Watkins, who up spending the first night of our island. At this stage some of the (it was rotting) and no one thought boobies and blue footed boobies washed up there in the early 1800s, ‘cruise’ in a hotel. Our first day on other passengers began to get frus- to take it on board until it had got- circled overhead. It was like walk- and, racial stereotyping has it that the islands, we visited the Charles trated at there appearing to be no ten out of control. The crew had ing through an untrammelled zoo, he survived by growing vegetables Darwin research centre (where I boat, this being a cruise and all. been working the past few days to and the animals, having been free to trade with whalers for alcohol. got the little bits of info that I just And I have to say, even though a replace the planks and were wait- from predators for millennia, either - It’s amazing that I’ve gotten this shared with you!). We moved on to part of me was delighted that I had ing for an inspection by the island languidly accepted our presence or far and still haven’t mentioned the a tortoise sanctuary where the escaped sleeping and eating on a sea officials in order to be allowed came to investigate/welcome us. most famous visitor to the islands, workers collect tiny tortoise eggs, motorboat (the budget choice) for sail again. This they kept from us We snorkelled off the boat that Charles Darwin. He visited the incubate them, feed them and even- the past two days, I was getting a until the boat happened to be ready afternoon, among sea lions and Galapagos Islands fact file: pelago) and visit the surrounding bit concerned too. and approved, that evening, on the angel fish and a whole group of islands by day; or to cruise the “The first permanent resident on Floreana island On the third day of the second day of our cruise. others I couldn’t even begin to - The Galapagos are a group of vol- islands, travelling by night and island, at midday, all the passen- We set off that evening canically formed islands almost exploring by day. was an Irish sailor who survived by growing veg- imagine the names of. gers of the ‘Sara Dayuma’ ended up and arrived on Santa Fe Island just 1,000km off the coast of Ecuador. - The biological isolation of the etables to trade with whalers for alcohol” My brief visit to the Galapagos in the local police office, demand- in time to walk the island route as - They were declared a World her- islands, combined with their vol- did turn out to be an ‘unforgettable’ islands as part of his epic five year tually return them to the wild. ing both an explanation and a the sun began its descent. A huge itage site in 1975. canic formation and variety of experience, and I don’t think it voyage aboard the HMS Beagle. Here, also, resides the oldest living refund. Each of us made a formal colony of sea lions lounging on the - There are two options when it warm and cold currents have led to could have been otherwise, since He was struck by how well adapted creature, George, a giant tortoise complaint, convincing the boat beach and grunting to one another comes to visiting the islands; to a truly astounding array of habitats there is truly no other place on the animals were to their environ- hundreds of years old. Many owner that we were serious, and welcomed us onto the island (well, stay in hotel accommodation and species. Each island even has earth like it. ment and how specific these adap- attempts have been made to try to then trooped down to the bank to I think it was a welcome grunt) and (which is only available on the its own unique set of species, due tations were depending on the get George to procreate (he is the cash our refunds. Surprise of all some of the younger ones came to most populous island, Santa Cruz, to both isolation by the sea (most island…the rest is natural history! last of his particular species) but surprises when our ‘trustworthy’ investigate the new arrivals. The the unofficial capital of the archi- islands are, on average, four hours Careers Editor: Myles Gutkin Tuesday, January 24th 2006 17 Trinity News CAREERS Career Focus: Medicine Zara Shubber explores the medical profession, what it has to offer and what it requires of would-be Practitioners, with reference to Irish Tenor Dr. Ronan Tynan as an example. The Job edge and skills throughout their community a medical school in your country cess in the medical profession are career. Security and you are determined to be a doc- disciplined, motivated, intelligent A career in medicine is one of the Whilst the overall work- Medicine allows you a good stan- tor, your next option may be to look and hard-working. They have a most honourable, highly demanded ing environment for doctors is dard of living with the comfortable elsewhere, possibly at “offshore” desire to help the sick and needy as and respected fields in the world. It improving and their hours have guarantee of a secure future. medical schools. well as a caring and sensitive man- is noble, as it encompasses human- recently been cut, one should never Stimulation An undergraduate med- ner in their interaction and reassur- itarian service and is often both underestimate that a doctor as a Day to day experiences of a doctor ical programme is typically 5 years, ance of their patients and their fam- rewarding and well paid. In the professional is required to work change daily so it is unlikely to sometimes longer or shorter ilies. medical field, there are a number of relatively long and unsociable prove tedious or repetitive depending on the individual school Medicine requires com- areas in which you can specialize. or country. The first few years are mitment and so your decision to “If travel is your passion, volunteer for one of spent studying and grasping med- pursue this career should not be With hundreds of open doors avail- the many worldwide aid organizations includ- ical theory while the latter are spent taken lightly. You should ask your- able to the aspiring doctor, he or ing Medecins sans Frontieres and help fight in clinical practice, developing self some questions and reassess hands-on experience and gaining your reasons for wanting to she can rest assured that finding a the AIDS epidemic or world hunger” suitable career will not be difficult. essential skills that will aid in the become a doctor. The options are many and include interaction with patients. If it is for financial rea- positions in surgery, a GP clinic or hours and will often have addition- Diversity “A typical first year stu- sons and job security, it is impor- even psychiatry. al on-call duties. Disease and illness are rife dent at Trinity College spends an tant to note that there are many If academia is a person’s They will be expected to throughout the world. Whether it’s average of 40 hours per week or other careers where you can earn calling, careers in teaching at a study for their speciality examina- a refugee camp in or a clinic more within a structured environ- much more money much more medical school or as a medical tions throughout their working here in Ireland, the title of doctor ment during the academic year.” quickly and with a lot less respon- researcher are widely available. career, which can be both demand- grants you a visa to every region of These long and arduous hours and sibility. If your motivation is an Although the majority of working ing and time-consuming and may the world. the extensive reading volume can altruistic one, you should also be doctors do so within a clinical or have huge social impacts on not Flexibility leave you with time for little else. aware that medicine is not the only hospital setting, many opportuni- only themselves but also on their Many career options are available On the plus side, with way you can give help to others. ties exist in many other sectors, families. both within and outside of the perseverance, graduating “will lead Some choose medicine such as the ‘armed forces, corpora- One should however health sector. to a Bachelor in Medicine, a because of their excellent school tions directing health and safety consider the positive. As a doctor Bachelor in Surgery and a Bachelor grades and are unsure of what else programmes and insurance compa- progresses within his or her field, Getting there in Obstetrics.” All doctors having to do. These people should consid- nies’. the amount of labour will often survived the “trauma” of medical er that, although an excellent grasp If travel is your passion, decrease. Much more time may be The unfortunate reality is that even school must complete a period of of of basic science is nec- volunteer for one of the many spent training younger doctors, armed with all the traits and internship before they are regis- essary, being a doctor requires worldwide aid organizations researching a wide range of med- requirements needed to make it Ronan Tynan, successful Medic, sportsman and singer ical fields or on more specialized “All doctors having survived the “trauma” of including Medecins sans Frontieres through the undergraduate medical In his mid-thirties, Ronan Tynan is singer. and help fight the AIDS epidemic cases in which experience, and degree, getting in can be testing in medical school must complete a period of therefore clinical judgement, is an inspirational doctor. Born with This incredible specimen or world hunger. Although you will itself. ‘ internship before they are registered and rec- limb disabilities he still continued of a human has been able to mix not be able to heal and help every- demanded. Each year thousands of ognized as independent doctors” with his passion for extreme sports. and combine numerous careers. He one in need, your career in medi- qualified applicants get turned This stopped when his legs were personifies determination and cine will always be rewarding and A career in medicine encompasses away for what amounts to supply many characteristics that many tered and recognized as independ- much more than numbers, includ- amputated below the knee owing to strength, as well as the ability to fulfilling. versus demand’. There are simply a car accident. Despite this set adapt himself to a wide-range of The downside is that the would consider as integral ele- more people wanting to pursue a ent doctors. This training is carried ing excellent communication skills, ments of a “dream career”. out within a supervised clinical set- the ability to work within a team back, within a year he was winning roles within a society that could path ahead will not be easy. It is career in medicine than places in gold medals at the Paralympics, have potentially made his disability long, involving many years of medical schools allow for. ting with a “steep learning curve” and a highly adaptive mentality Altruism that in fact continues throughout towards your work. amassing a total of 18 gold medals a hindrance. hard-work and dedication and most The minimum require- and 14 world records. often the financial expenses will As a doctor you will have an oppor- ments of eligibility for the medical their career. tunity to help others “In terms of the training Is Medicine your Calling? Tynan was the first dis- Career Resources put a huge strain on the medical programme at Trinity College abled person ever admitted to The student, with many graduating Proactivity stands as having qualified from period it can take up to 12 years to Compassion and commitment Medicine is challenging and progress within structured training Advocacy and altruism National College of Physical www.nhscareers.nhs.uk from medical school with huge stu- school with 590 points or 4 grade Education. He graduated with a dent loans and overdrafts. dynamic and often demands split- ‘A’ A-levels, which should encom- – from studying medicine at an Leadership and logic www.doctorsjob.com second decisions based on a life- undergraduate level to being Love of learning degree from Trinity College as a www.msf.org It requires a lifetime of pass a strong scientific background. medical doctor who specialized in learning and teaching, both in theo- time of experience. Another possible entry route is to appointed a hospital consultant. GP Integrity and curiosity www.tcd.ie/Admissions Respect status may be obtained in 9 years.” Negotiation with beaureaucracy orthopaedic sports and injuries. In www.ronantynan.net ry and in practice. With the rapid hold a previous degree in a related addition to this outstanding biogra- acceleration of advancement in Medicine is on of the world’s most scientific field. Goodness of heart prestigious and honoured profes- phy, he is also renowned for his both the technological and pharma- Not all medical schools Personal Qualities beautiful tenor voice. He has won ceutical industries, doctors must sions as you become an integral have the same admission criteria The Example and highly valued asset in your numerous awards and regularly continuously update their knowl- and so if you fail to be accepted at People who ultimately achieve suc- appears in concert as an opera Towards an Ethical Career Myles Gutkin looks at the world of ethical business practice, and how you and your fel- low employees can help to create a more ethical business world Security and ethics What would you be working for charitable organisa- will eventually alienate itself from doing? Who would you be working tions, but it does mean working for the source of all its profit. An enormous part of our lives is for? Would any one be hurt unjust- socially responsible employers. There is an increasing spent at work, making profit for our ly as a result of your work? Would Enterprise can be very good for a market for ethically procured prod- employers in exchange for wages. you feel ashamed to do what your community, but employees and ucts and services, which will grow We should enjoy the work we do, corporation does as a whole? Don’t directors must ensure that they bal- with the resources of the popula- and be proud of it to avoid looking be a cog in the wheel unless you ance their need for profit with the tion. Corporations who want share back from retirement to realise that approve of where the wheel is needs of the community in which it prices to retain value, as well as our working lives were spent hurt- going. operates. produce dividends need to follow ing others to fill the boss’s pockets. “A business is fundamen- the overwhelming market trend Make a small difference towards responsible practice. “Don’t ever commit a tally a structure which exists to serve its consumer crime, or circumvent There are small changes which a “avoid supporting corpo- base, and not its owners. national or international few like-minded employees can rations which provide introduce to any working environ- So if it manipulates con- laws for your employer. goods and services using ment to make a positive contribu- sumers, and damages their Remember that under methods we personally tion. Make suggestions about better wider environment, it will Irish law, any contract for ethical practice at work, for exam- deem immoral” illegal work is void” ple, include the more socially and eventually alienate itself environmentally responsible sup- from the source of all its Take responsibility However with expensive pliers as well as the cheapest prices profit” real estate, insufficient social wel- when obtaining quotes, and outline With consumers becoming increas- fare and a high cost of living, their benefits objectively. Providing a service or ingly informed, the time of manip- there’s no real choice for the Irish product such as in education, social ulating, overcharging and unethical resident but to be in a constant state “The easiest way to ensure work, accounting, healthcare, cost-cutting is nearing its end. of employment. So it may seem that the work you do is building, and even marketing can Discerning consumers want to that an employee has little opportu- socially responsible is to make a positive impact on the know that they aren’t supporting world if done to serve consumers, nity to dictate the terms of the look into the company’s immoral practice, as is evident in working environment for fear of making a reasonable profit and the policies which our elected gov- losing her/his meal ticket. But there ethical record before using resources responsibly. ernment has introduced to prevent are some things you can do to agreeing to work for them” improper waste disposal, unfair encourage moral business practice. Ethics and business treatment of employees, unsafe Request paper recycling procedures and corporate monopo- Do no harm services in your office and a com- It often seems that nothing matters lies. post bin in the canteen, then com- in business, except the bottom line. As well as refusing to The easiest way to ensure that the mit to using them. Don’t ever com- Boards of directors are employed elect a government that supports work you do is socially responsible mit a crime, or circumvent national by shareholders who aren’t neces- immoral business practice, we also is to look into the company’s ethi- or international laws for your sarily interested in the work the need to avoid supporting corpora- cal record before agreeing to work employer. Remember that under company does, but want to take tions which provide goods and for them, or even before applying Irish law, any contract for illegal home big dividends. So is the services using methods we person- Business doesn’t always have a warm smile but a cold heart for a job with them. You’ll need to work is void. answer to continuously cut costs ally deem immoral. Given two sim- do some research before writing a and increase profits? No. A busi- ilarly priced options of equal quali- improper practitioners, we ensure Relevant websites: www.sgr.org.uk good cover letter for your CV, so Make a big difference ness is fundamentally a structure ty, we should prefer the product better standards in the future. which exists to serve its consumer which has hurt fewer people, wast- while you’re at it, read the website, www.corporatewatch.org base, and not its owners. So if it ed less resources and is marketed job description and mission state- There are many careers which ben- www.oasis.gov.ie manipulates consumers, and dam- without manipulating consumers. ment. efit others. This doesn’t only mean www.entemp.ie ages their wider environment, it By withholding profits from 18 SU & Societies Editor: Enda Hargaden Tuesday January 24, 2006 Trinity News SU & SOCIETIES Societies: who got what? With over ninety operational student societies in Trinity, the Central Societies Committee (CSC) have increased the issued grants to over €175,000 this year. Enda Hargaden reports where it went and dispels the myth that membership plays a major role in deciding grant allocation.

Trinity’s five biggest societies have bership fee to societies in an application. It is expected that Environmental and Astonomy and from the list, as are the societies of will be held on January 31st. almost 11,500 members between attempt to attract new members, these societies, such as Brain Space will be soon de-recognised. sister colleges CICE and Froebel. them this year. This is a significant usually presuming that the Research, Racing, Karting, All of these societies are excluded The CSC’s Term General Meeting increase in membership from last increased membership figures will year, with the top five accounting be reflected by an increased grant Society Membership Grant, € Per Member,€ Society Membership Grant, € Per Member, € for just over 10,300 in 2004/05. by the Central Societies The biggest society this year is St. Committee (CSC). These figures Afro Caribbean 229 1800 7.86 Jewish 65 250 3.85 Vincent De Paul, and with well clearly dismiss this claim, with no AIESEC 80 1400 17.5 Joly Geological 177 1500 8.47 over 4,000 members it is 125 times clear relationship between mem- Amnesty Int’l 312 1200 3.85 Juggling 100 1200 12.00 bigger than the smallest society to bership and grant cap. Anarchist 53 450 8.49 Labour 79 1500 18.99 submit a grant application, the Such statistical analysis Archaeological 65 2000 30.77 Law 589 2300 3.90 Socialist Workers’ party – but SVP of the grant allocations by the CSC Biochemical 159 3200 20.13 LGBT 240 2000 8.33 are themselves down from nearly has never been published before, Biological 500 2500 5.00 Literary 190 2000 10.53 5,000 members last year. and confirm their commitment to Capoeira 85 900 10.59 M’mnt Science 80 500 6.25 Second in the list, and base grants releases on activity and Caledonian 109 1200 11.01 Mathematical 232 1750 7.54 the largest society that is not appli- need rather than on the basis of Card & Bridge 450 1500 3.33 Mature Students 238 1600 6.72 cable to exempt membership fees, membership. The figures show that Chapel Choir 187 4100 21.93 Meditation 45 500 11.11 is the University Philosophical low-cost societies receive lower Chess 86 1300 15.12 Metaphysical 145 2100 14.48 Society. However some societies amounts – in Yoga’s case only 71c Chinese Students 90 500 5.56 Microbiological 87 600 6.90 we contacted resent their quoted per member – while very active Choral 153 4600 30.07 Mod Lang 352 700 1.99 membership figure of 3,697, as it and high-cost societies while Christian Union 189 3500 18.52 Music 248 1700 6.85 includes ‘Gold Card’ members Orchestral’s per capita grant fell Classical 78 1400 17.95 Muslim Student95 1300 13.68 from previous years. The Phil are just short of €40. Comedy 154 450 2.92 Nursing 220 700 3.18 the only society to allow member- There appears, as the Computer Science 141 1200 8.51 One World 450 3000 6.67 ship for more than one academic CSC claim, to be a strong relation- Cumann Gaelach 554 3000 5.42 Orchestral 136 5300 38.97 year because of a clause in their ship between last year’s perform- Dance 489 2800 5.73 Paintball 436 1500 3.44 Constitution. ance and this year’s grant alloca- Dental 92 1800 19.57 Peer Support 50 900 18.00 Exclusive to the Trinity tion. The award-winning Paintball Digital Arts 126 600 4.76 Philosophical 3697 10700 2.89 News, the figures show the CSC society received an additional DUBES 934 1200 1.28 Photographic 250 4000 16.00 have capped societal spending this 67%, while the Phil’s success of DUPSA 252 500 1.98 Physical 330 2000 6.06 year at over €175,000 this year, a last year is reflected by a €1300 DURNS 379 1000 2.64 Players 700 10500 15.00 substantial increase from last year. increase in their basic grant. This Early Irish 74 500 6.76 Politics 113 800 7.08 This equates to over €6,500 per contrasts to Food & Drink sus- ELSA 123 800 6.50 PD’s 60 450 7.50 week of term. tained a 25% drop in theirs to Entrepreneurial 150 1200 8.00 Psychology 119 1400 11.76 Each society has to make €1500, while Microbiology’s Europa 170 500 2.94 Science Fiction 850 1000 1.18 an application detailing exactly grant plummeted from €1500 to Fianna Fáil 154 1800 11.69 Sign Language 75 634 8.45 what they’ll need money for to €600. It should be noted that allo- Film-makers 229 5500 24.02 Singers 90 2200 24.44 operate for the year, and a decision cations under the Special category Fine Gael 191 2000 10.47 St Vincent de Paul 4132 6500 1.57 is made on this by the Executive in submissions is excluded from FLAC 224 900 4.02 SUAS 419 1000 2.39 Committee of the CSC. The money the figures, as these are taken on a Food & Drink 555 1500 2.70 Socialist Workers 33 1300 39.39 to fund this comes from the regis- case by case basis and represent Gamers 208 3800 18.27 Theological 132 1000 7.58 tration fee that we all pay - howev- unique once-off expenditures by Genetical 110 800 7.27 Therapy 267 400 1.50 er reluctantly - at the beginning of societies. It should also be noted Geographical 186 2500 13.44 Trad Irish Music 275 1000 3.64 each academic year. This is then that the membership figures quoted Green 174 1000 5.75 T.A.W. 169 2000 11.83 divided up by the capitated bodies are those submitted by the societies Historical 1852 9300 5.02 Trinity F.M. 275 2000 7.27 of the university: the Students’ at the time of grant application. History 167 3500 20.96 Visual Arts 134 1300 9.70 Union, The Graduate Students’ There are also a number Internet 500 2000 4.00 Werner Chemical 246 666 2.71 Union, Publications, sports body of societies that, whilst still offi- Japanese 30 300 10.00 Yoga 700 500 0.71 DUCAC, and the CSC. cially recognised and considered Jazz 375 3400 9.07 Zoological 137 1000 7.30 In the run-up to active, have not registered either Freshers’ Week heads of societies membership figures, elected a Totals: 28875 170650 - Averages: 335.76 1984.30 5.91 often decide to offer a low mem- committee, or submitted a grant Archive: Blasts from the Past Election banter starts as potential candidates bicker at SU Council Christine Bohan to chants of ‘Four More Years!’ towards the back of the Hall. is badly equipped and should from appreciative reps. Gary Dillon spoke again, as be better. Also passed. It happened at the start outraged as he’s ever been: A motion that the SU John Mannion is becoming of Council, right after the nasti- “Vote for me, vote against me, campaign to have the Rainbow like the Gay Byrne of the est motion of the evening. It but God help me, I know that flag flown over Front Arch dur- Students’ Union. At the final alleged that the Chair of there is a problem with this ing rainbow week was present- Council last year he gave away Council, David Quinn, had Chair... I favour no-one, I ed by Ronan Hodson, the an iPod nano to one lucky class acted impartialy and influenced FEAR NO-ONE!”. LGBT Rights Officer and pos- rep, drawn at random. For last the decision of the Electoral The motion was sibly the best-dressed man I’ve week’s Council he gave out Commission when they made defeated. ever seen at Council during my Eddie Rocket’s vouchers to an important decision at the The SU don’t like it four years as a class rep. John everyone in the audience. Well, previous Council and should when we mention the Wands Mannion spoke against the all the class reps anyway. And therefore make a full apology. and Sceptres Committee motion, somewhat unwillingly not just one either. Every rep The motion had some back- because they think it trivialises - he acknowledged immediate- got 50 vouchers to give to their ly that the motion was going to classmates, with the names and “John sat down to chants of ‘Four More Years!’ pass but that it could make contact details of the five sab- things difficult for him, as he bat officers on the back of them from appreciative reps” also has to lobby to get the tri- (perhaps to remind people not ground. It’s no secret that all the work that the Union colour flown and it’ll be diffi- to bite the hand that feeds Quinn plans to run for SU does. And they’re right. But cult to get both. Stephanie them?) President, and there were this is an objective(ish) report O’Brien, the Welfare Officer Giving things out rumours circulating for several and so, the election to the W&S spoke in favour and then anoth- works well for several reasons. days before Council that one of Committee saw 11 nominations er class rep got up to speak Reps are more likely to attend his opponents had asked two for the five positions. against. He started out well, Council if they know there’s a reps to bring forward this Unusually, the Chair deigned quite rational really. chance they might get some- motion, in an attempt to dis- not to hear speeches, and so the Unfortunately, it got worse. He thing free (and of course the credit his opponent. decision was made solely on tried to sit on the fence. He chance to serve the democratic Gary Dillon, the pro- the popularity of each of the failed. He ended his speech process...). This means quorum poser of the motion vehement- reps. with: “This will make Trinity a isn’t lost and all the business on ly denied this. As he pointed There were several laughing stock”. He wasn’t the agenda can be gotten out, he’s been bringing several worthy motions which failed to applauded when he sat down. through. It’s a tangible sign of motions to every Council, spark any debate. It was pro- The motion was passed. the work the officers are doing pointing out clearly problems posed that the SU opposes any It was a good Council - whilst it’s mainly class reps that he had with any perceived attempt to introduce fees in the - there was a lot of participation who will appreciate the hard wrong-doings, and didn’t need Student Health Centre. Passed. from reps who hadn’t spoken graft that the officers are put- someone to pull his strings, as That the SU lobby to stop fran- before which was good to see. ting in, the vouchers were an it were. A number of members chises like O’Brien’s and There was also a lot of talking effective gestures in making of the SU Executive got up to Starbucks from opening up on from people who are planning sure all the other students in the speak to defend Quinn. David campus. Passed. (Bit surpised on running for election in the college know that they’re there, himself called it a ‘dirty politi- by that one, judging by the next couple of weeks - same working for them. And of cal tactic’ and was greeted with amount of students who old, same old. course, who’s going to turn As the SU elections draw near, Trinity News takes a look back to some of our heckles from a small but very frequent these places outside of down free food? John sat down SU Alumni... vocal number of reps sitting campus). That Goldsmith Hall Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde Tuesday January 24th, 2005 19 Trinity News COMMENT& OPINION Russian Roulette Out of left-field Religion seems to be coming with an ultimatum. But Críostóir Redmond would rather used to be proud of its left, but Nick Kelly is not that dance with the devil, and see good without God. Or does he? impressed. Is Europe’s left becoming more like America’s? I’ve just returned from the US, increased popularity of Nicolas accompanying disposition, irony, I was walking down Henry Street I never go back...but I where the Democratic Party’s slide Sarkozy, the government minister need not be so paralyzingly para- towards O'Connell Street. I had did. I walked back to the old man into inconsequence would be who called the rioters “scum.” sitic and self obsessed. been minding my own business and handed him his piece of paper. funny if it weren’t so sad. Even Germany has a right- Irony can just be snarky shoe shopping or something like The moment I opened my mouth with Bush’s approval rating below wing prime minister replace comments shot sideways when that. I came to the corner by the and, quite meekly, said “your 50%, the left has been unable to Schroeder, who retires to a cushy confronted by the embarrassingly GPO where old men try to convert leaflet is dangerous and has no successfully oppose a far-right ide- job with the consortium in charge sincere, but it can also be an effec- the public by drawing funny pic- basis in fact”, I regretted it. I tried alogue’s nomination to the of a Russian-German gas pipeline. tures which give some sort of to reason with the man. I tried to Supreme Court, a man who, as part The EU is stuttering after failing to Liberals, from their moral guidance. I always just pass. give him some facts and statistics. of the Reagan administration for- get a Constitutional treaty passed. I never give a second look. When He would not let me get a word in supposed position mulated a strategy to re-criminal- And the Kyoto Treaty, perhaps the suddenly this dour faced man start- edgeways. He kept barking over ize abortion. biggest recent accomplishment of of power in the ed pontificating on the evils of sex anything I said with mindless one Nor could it convince the left, has not been (and most University are not “Abstinence”, “God help you”, liner's. I would start to say “well, in the American public that domestic likely will not be) ratified by interested in chang- wiretapping is a dangerous contra- China, India or the US. ing the world. “I had let my guard down for one second and vention of the Constitution. And Why is the left doomed the bold new strategy to break out to react, criticize and protest there I was ranting at an old man who was rant- of this pit of irrelevance? Wait till instead of leading? You don’t tive way to address serious topics ing on a street corner.” 2008 and run a Clinton for presi- need to be in power to present and without being stuffy or senten- dent, the unpleasant one this time. promote new ideas…in fact, that’s tious. how you get into power. Film writer-director Over the past decades, the Todd Solondz (Welcome to the “sinners”, “God loves you”, it went Spain a study was carried out on “Why is the left American right-wing, feeling Dollhouse, Happiness, on and on like a stream of con- 135 heterosexual couples with doomed to react, besieged by the liberal media and Storytelling, Palindromes) makes sciousness. It made no sense to me mixed status, where usually the academia established think-tanks, brilliant use of dark humor to keep but then again I could be missing man was HIV positive. Over 10 criticize and protest privately funded quasi-academic the viewer engaged while watch- something, each to their own, sure years an account was kept of their instead of leading? centers of study, which have been ing and the ideas in his or her head isn't that the way? sexual activities, not once had HIV You don’t need to be paying off now with new ideas and long after the film is over. I always walk by...but he been passed on. They had used the confidence to try and change Solondz deals with child molesta- shoved a leaflet into my hand, condoms”. Of course it didn’t come in power to present the world. tion, teen pregnancy and interra- which I would have thrown into the out like that, above my voice was a and promote new Liberals, from their sup- cial sexual concerns, among other nearest bin only I couldn't find one, stream of “Russian roulette”, ideas...” posed position of power in the issues with an ironic coolness that Dublin corporation where are you “Gods hands”, “the devils way” University (which, despite an distances the viewer just enough to when one needs you? I had pangs etc. etc. You get the idea. So, back in Europe, have obsession with diversity, are too consider the subject matter with- of guilt, what a waste of paper, the I tried to reason with I been rubbing and blinking my politically homogeneous for pro- out the usual cultural clutter. trees, what about the trees!? I could him. I became more and more flus- eyes and basking in the brilliant ductive debate) are not interested Postmodernism needn’t feel the oxygen being depleted as I tered and irate, until we came to a light of a progressive society, shin- in changing the world. Their ener- trap a thinker in a hall of mirrors, walked paper in hand. Out of cour- climax, a crescendo of “get your ing with new ideas and growing gy is devoted to puzzling out soci- generating a million new images tesy to whatever poor tree that had facts straight” and “sinners are equality? Hardly. A quick glance eties’ concepts of what the world of images, a million new questions been felled in order to make the dancing with the devil”. I turned across the major players: Britain is is, and deconstructing how schol- of questions. Its subversive, stim- paper which this man had used, I and walked away, noticing how a helmed by W’s prayer group ars examine how societies concep- ulating qualities should lead to took a look. group of passers-by had congregat- buddy, who has succeeded the tiualize the world, all the while creative destruction—as the move- It was a haphazard, ama- ed to watch this spectacle. I felt Clinton way—co-opting ideas with an arch eyebrow raised at ment’s forefather Friedrich teurish document. On it were some somewhat embarrassed. Rats! I had from the center-right and season- those who would use the terms Nietzsche imagined—instead of words which I skimmed over and a let my guard down for one second ing them a bit to be more palatable “change” and “the world” without just destruction. If society is a diagram of some sort, I couldn’t and there I was ranting at an old to the center-left. ensconcing them in quotation construct, why can’t we convince figure it out. It looked, for all the man who was ranting on a street In France, the biggest marks and qualifications. people to construct a better one? world, like a little worm and some corner. I have learnt my lesson and impact of the riots has been the Postmodernism and its flowers...or something. I had to go in the wise words of a friend of back to read the text to make any mine, “one really should show a lit- sense of it at all. tle more decorum”. It explained how a sperm The thing that passed me is so much larger (that would be the by during all this was that this man worm then) than any virus (those was, well, religious. He was would be his little friends). It went preaching on the street for our on to say that these little friends good, in the name of Christ God is back on the streets. were so itty-bitty that they could almighty (does “almighty” get a being accused of sounding clichéd. ple who twist and pervert religion pass through a condom, leaving capital ‘A’?). So is that what it There is that little issue of the and belief. Without religious peo- spermy all awone inside. God loves means to be religious? Is it going to Catholic Church preaching absti- ple there would be no religion. you it you don’t have sex. If you mass, praying to God, Allah, nence in Africa, telling poor souls Why can we not put the good that do, you will die, so there is no point Buddha, whoever? Is it standing not to sin by using condoms and we has, is, and can be done by people in using a condom. Just DON'T on street corners pushing God's all know how well that is working for other people down to the power HAVE SEX! love (“c’mere, have ye got any a over there. Only too well. of the human spirit, humanity Right, it’s not all bad I God’s love?”)? “...but what about I am not here to write a even? suppose. If we were all celibate all the good stuff that religious peo- polemic, but why oh why do all But no! I am not mind- until married, never ever had the ple have done? The schools and things that religious groups do for lessly ripping something to shreds urge to have sex unless we were in hospitals in Africa, how will they “good” come with an ultimatum? because I may have read a good love, and if we all had the will ever educate themselves without Where is the altruism? Wherever article, heard a religious leader say power of I dunno wha...Then con- religious groups? Who is going to you find religious groups helping, it, or have seen it “on de telly”. I, doms would be bad, of course! I look after them when they are you will get a sense of conversion, for one, like to make informed and mean, for a start we would proba- sick?” I hear the religious hordes pray with us, assimilate and you rational decisions for myself. Does bly be using them as part of a novel cry. will be ok. Homogenisation of the this sound pompous!? No! Not party trick, or for the washing up, Well excuse me if I scoff masses that is what religious lead- pompous! It sounds like common but who wants to use fingerless at this. I know it has been said ers want. I don’t blame religion. Of sense to me. gloves to do the washing up!? many times before! At the risk of course not! I blame religious peo- Blair is leaning to the left. But it’s hard to see what’s on the left these days. Power: For Dummies Derek Owens’ fortnightly update on the seizing of power from the great unwashed. He returns this after an absemce with ‘The Fear Factor’

“Well, all this Machiavelli stuff… more powerful factor in peoples channel, Labour didn’t best the lead. He’d left it too late though, rule, the PD’s launched their ‘one This is where cordial relations decision making than gratitude, or Tories in 2005 by their record of and thrown away an election party government or us’ campaign. broke down. I set off on a robust fondness. Memories don’t stuff invading Middle Eastern countries, thought unlosable a year before. The ploy, entirely dependent on a defence of the ‘Big Mac’ (causing a ballot boxes; expectations do. In chipping away at civil liberties and The rest, as they say, is catastrophe. deep-seeded fear among the elec- bit of a scene in Eddie Rocket’s) any election, you vote for the per- pumping impressive sums of And then there’s our last gener- torate, swung at least two crucial only to be interrupted again: “But son who either promises the most, money into public services with al election, where fear ruled seats their way. all his ‘better to be feared than or scares you the least. You can win less impressive results. They won The responsible folk’s com- loved’ advice is just outdated! It elections by promising the world, because Tory leader Michael “if annoying people plaints are valid: In the long-term, just doesn’t apply nowadays.” or convincing everyone that your Howard really does have some- are afraid of you negative campaigning turns people It’s probably for the best that he opponent is capable of destroying thing of the night about him, off mainstream politics and is cor- cut in there; the door staff looked it. The first tactic can work, but because a particularly nutty they’re less likely to rosive to democracy. But in the uneasy at the presence of an intox- people expect you to deliver on at Conservative mentioned that £20 bother you” long term, cows are some of the icated political firebrand, and the least some of your commitments; Billion could be pulled from public greatest producers of greenhouse comment made me calm down and the latter carries no such weight of services, and because a masterful supreme. Fine Gael promised any- gases. We still love our double- think. Superficially, of course, he’s- obligation. negative campaign blitz linked a thing they could to anyone who’d greaseburgers. Because beef, and The Big Mac is back... right – if people are afraid of you, This is why negative campaign- Conservative future with the listen, only to be annihilated. It political success, tastes good now. they’re not likely to vote for you. ing is so attractive to political pro- Thatcherite past. wasn’t that Fianna Fáil ‘bought the And there will always be people for Every day brings another nay- ery. My friend knows full well that When you give Machiavelli the fessionals, and will always be with The U.S. Presidential election election’ as some muttered (though whom that is the only considera- sayer. Well, the same nay-sayer to since (foolishly) making the benefit of the doubt, though, you us. More responsible folk (quite was another example of negative a giveaway budget did help) but the tion. For them, fear is as effective be precise. After having his faulty Power: For dummies project as see his advice is just as useful rightly) complain that it’s crude, campaigning bringing positive sheer ineptitude of Michael as any political tool. Machiavelli’s logic (and eating habits) exposed in public as possible, I am about as today. lazy and often disgusting but only results. While John Kerry heeded Noonan’s merry band. line may need translation for the a previous column, a certain friend, popular among would-be election the well meaning, self-deluding A quick scan of Fine modern age (‘better your opponent after being adamantly opposed to candidates as a leper, charity-mug- “They won because Tory leader Michael analysts who held that relentless Gael’s front bench, and a thought be feared than you be loved’) but orchestrating the campaigns of five ger, or an imported Turkish chick- positivity was the way to the White of what havoc they could wreak in the thinking behind it is as truthful puppets for the Student Union elec- en. Howard really does have something of the House, the Bush machine success- office, was enough to make a hard- today as it ever was. tions (the power: for dummies proj- I started blustering that, though night about him” fully made Kerry look like a dis- ened blueshirt think twice. Loathe as some people ect,) simply stopped talking about there hasn’t exactly been a fantastic honest, careerist, flip-flopping jelly Meanwhile, the PD’s were the only are to admit it, the Big Mac is still it. Until last week. Turning to me response (the confirmed readership The reasoning behind the glib rarely dispute the crucial point: It man by mid-September.. ones who successfully exploited the man. If the Power: For with a self-satisfied grin, he asked of this column is roughly four peo- ‘better feared than loved’ line was- works. Those that do are wishful It was only in October, the public’s morbid fear of Fianna Dummies project is to overcome me just how Power: For dummies ple, and that includes my editor) n’t just that if annoying people are thinkers, ignoring the facts. when Kerry started putting the boot Fáil in government alone: With incompetence, apathy, and all the was going. the basic theory is sound. afraid of you, they’re less likely to For proof, just look at the last in to Bush’s appalling record in polls showing that a majority even other obstacles in the way, I’m It’s impossible to properly “Rubbish” bother you; the big Mac realised three significant elections in the office, that he started to make seri- of Fianna Fáil voters favoured a going to need his help. describe the smugness of his deliv- “What do you mean?” that fear of the future was a much English-speaking world. Across the ous inroads into his opponent’s coalition government to one-party 20 Tuesday January 24th, 2005 Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde COMMENT& OPINION Trinity News Redefining Consent Poker Time Rape has always been a crime. But in recent court cases there seems to be confusion Poker is back as an acceptable pastime. However, real winners are still few as to what exactly rape is.Ruth Patten examines the appaling double standards that and far between. Dave O’Callaghan goes through what it really takes. are crippling the justice system. Poker has come a long way in the skilful, social, and enjoyable game, smart to lose money. It is this On the 24th of November 2005 a that something was happening, and people face to face for support and should these same glossy P.R. exer- past few years. The advent of tele- most players are losing money. naivety that proves to be the down- UK rape case involving a universi- passed out again.” The press state- counselling in 2004. The numbers cises carry a health warning? vised poker, in the form of shows This is not something that most fall of most inexperienced and ty security guard escorting a stu- ment goes on to state “Section 74 do not match. Should posters around college such as ‘The World Series of people will admit to, and a brief beginning poker players. Not to be dent back to her rooms, was with- of the 2003 Sexual Offences Act In a UK survey in More campuses warn female students Poker’ and ‘The World Poker survey of players would probably aware of the dangers of the game drawn after the girl admitted under makes crystal clear that a person Magazine 23 per cent of women that attending a “Gangster & Hos”, Tour’, has done a lot to change the find that about 70% to 80% claim will almost certainly result in the cross-examination that she was too can only consent to sex if they said they believed that their drinks “Jocks & Cheerleaders” or “School public’s perception of the game. to be winners. However statistics loss of a lot of money. Things can drunk to remember if she had given agree by choice and have the free- have been spiked in the past. Only Disco” party attired in the themed It’s no longer seen as seedy, played released by online casinos have very quickly spiral out of control, consent. Prosecution lawyers dom and capacity to make that one in twenty women felt safe costume could lead to an assault? by mobsters and degenerates in shown that in fact only between 5% and it is possible to lose thousands dropped the case because “drunken choice. How does an unconscious walking the streets alone. While If people believe women who dress smoky pool halls, but more as an and 15% of online poker players in a matter of minutes at the higher consent is still consent” and the woman have that capacity?” this survey was more anecdotal and sexily are asking to be raped then acceptable social past time; some- actually turn a profit.. levels. judge instructed the jury to bring a An Amnesty its facts less easily proven than the should responsible student soci- thing to do rather than going to the What winning poker not guilty verdict “even if you International survey of 1,000 others, its numbers show an eties or even the Students’ Union pub. players all have in common is strict don’t agree”. Britons found that 28% of people increased awareness of the dangers organise and advertise these Trinity, U.C.D. and “What winning poker self discipline. While a good D.I.T. all run hugely successful knowledge of psychology and The case was made pub- believe that if a woman is flirta- faced by women if they wish to events? players all have in com- lic when a press release from Vera tious she partially responsible if socialise in bars or clubs at night. Without doubt, such a card clubs, and hold regular tourna- probability can be extremely help- Baird Q.C, MP for Redcar con- she is raped. Shockingly, 6% felt It is a brutal irony that draconian measure would seem ments with entry fees for as little as mon is strict self disci- ful, any professional poker player demned the judge for disregarding she would be totally responsible. A the more the public are made aware unfair on the societies and the stu- €5 to cater for the poor student’s pline.” will tell you that these skills pale in the Sexual Offence Act, made law dents, male and female, who enjoy meagre bankroll. Over the past two comparison to the importance of in 2003. In Section 74 of the attending such activities, but what years several new card clubs have discipline and self control. It’s no Sexual Offence Act it is the remit “Only 6% of reported rapes get convictions and it is can be done to change the society opened up in Dublin, Cork, Television chooses to coincidence that Padraig Galway, Waterford, Killarney and gloss over this side of the game om Parkinson, Andrew Black and of the defendant to prove that they not known how many women do not even bother that leaves women facing a Catch thought the victim was conscious 22. If a woman acts in the manner Belfast. The majority of people that favour of entertainment value, but Donnacha O’Dea all obtained col- before and while having sex. This reporting their sexual assault to the authorities.” she is expected to, she leaves her- frequent these places hold down the reality is that for each of those lege degrees. They all had the Act was originally brought in to self open to assault. successful jobs, and often you will people you see scooping some drive, determination and self disci- protect both men and women from With this particular case, find doctors, lawyers and dentists seven figure prize pool, there were pline to do so, and it is for these having sex forced on them. similar percentage said she would of the dangers to women from Vera Baird MP has requested the at the table. probably two hundred odd people reasons that they are successful at According to the MP’s be likewise partially responsible if those who would prey on them Lord Chancellor investigate the In fact Ireland’s three down $10,000 or more for the day, poker also. press release, the girl had con- she were wearing revealing cloth- while vulnerable due to alcohol, Judge’s behaviour and the case most successful poker players, many of whom really couldn’t So if you’re planning on sumed a small amount of alcohol ing. the more women are held responsi- may be reviewed. The prosecution Donnacha O’Dea, Andrew Black afford to lose that amount of taking up poker, or even if you and felt ill. Like many universities There were over 12,000 ble for the crimes committed lawyers and judge -all male- disre- and Padraig Parkinson, who money. have done so already, don’t be in Great Britain the University of reported rapes in Britain in against them. Frequently on the garded the Sexual Offence Act in between them have won over €3m, In the poker world these overawed by what you see on tele- Aberystwyth in has a policy 2004/2005. Only 6% of reported Trinity campus are posters for par- favour of their own opinions, are all graduates of our very own players are referred to as ‘dona- vision. Always bear in mind that that a security guard will on request rapes get convictions and it is not ties where women are fully expect- which were parallel to the attitudes Trinity College. But what does this tors’, and they are essential for the despite being an extremely skilled accompany a student back to their known how many women do not ed to dress appropriately for the of roughly one third of the British new found respectability mean for poker economy to keep growing. game, it is also extremely danger- residence on campus after hours. even bother reporting their sexual theme. If they do so are we to public. Or perhaps they were sim- poker, and is it perhaps misleading The problem is that the ous. Being aware of this at all times The policy was put in place in assault to the authorities. In Ireland believe that they are going to be ply untrained in the new law and some people about what can in fact majority of aspiring players don’t is the single most important factor order for the students to be protect- the figure is drastically different, actively encouraging their own may not have understood it. be a very dangerous game? see this side of things, and begin in determining whether you will be ed on the open campus late at night. with 65 reported rapes in the Irish rape? However, whatever the reason, the The fact of the matter is playing poker with the naïve atti- a winning poker player or a dona- On this occasion the stu- Republic in 2004. However Everyday we all see misinterpretation of this important that despite being an extremely tude that they are too good or too tor. dent was walked home by a securi- according to the National Rape advertisements on billboards, mag- law can only bring further suffering ty guard who had sex with her out- Crisis Statistics 2004, the 15 Irish azines and our television screens to the legitimate victims of sexual side her house, “she said she had Rape Crisis centres received promoting the consumption of assault. passed out, woken up briefly aware 45,000 calls and saw over 2,200 alcohol to both women and men, Today’s ‘Cult of Speed’ Jean Devlin takes a look a society’s obsesssion with fast everything, and prescribes a philosophy of slow: a healthier life takes a step back to enjoy itself. Ireland has one of the worst records Food was one of the first ings. 80% of pain clinics offer acupunc- in Europe for deaths in road acci- areas to speed up, with the intro- Another area in which ture. CAM’s slow approach is to let dents – 528 lives were lost in 2004 duction of commercial farming, people are starting to slow down is the body heal itself, through gentle and the figure for last year is even chemical fertilisers and pesticides, the workplace, although of the holistic care, as opposed to the ten- higher. The biggest killer : speed. growth hormones, and more American capitalist model which dency of many GPs to reach for Whether it’s working parents rush- recently genetic modification. With encourages workaholism is still their prescription pad at every con- ing to pick up their child from the McDonalds and other such chains dominant in most sectors. sultation, effectively just throwing creche before six, or the Minister of the fast food phenomenon swept Nonetheless, more and more peo- drugs at the symptoms rather than Sport striving to make it to Dublin throughout the world, promising for a cabinet meeting, the need to tasty food ready in minutes. As life “The central tenet of the slow philosophy is pleas- speed applies to everyone. And it’s got faster people rushed to replicate ure- taking the time to do things properly means not only on the roads that speed has the convenience of fast food at Lust in Translation become such a hazard. It is a fea- home, and so microwave meals and we enjoy them more. This is perhaps nowhere ture of modern life. Not only do we prewashed salads have cut prepara- more true than in the bedroom.” Words can be confusing. Especially ones that are used nega- want faster cars ; we want faster tion time for meals. So has the time computers, faster music, faster taken to consume them - the aver- tively. And in relation to sex. Ethel Harness sets the record strait food. age meal in McDonalds lasts no ple are opting to job-share instead treating the often complex cause. In the rush of today’s longer than eleven minutes, and the of working full-time, for example. The central tenet of the on the term of slut. world it is easy to lose the art of concept of a family meal has Even in Japan, whose fearsome slow philosophy is pleasure – tak- These days many words crop up in slowness, and arguably, most of us almost disappeared with the strain work ethic astonished the world in ing the time to do things properly our every day vocabulary whose have. Recently however, a number of different schedules dictating the Eighties and Nineties, slowness means we enjoy them more. This is meanings can be nebulous and of well-respected writers and jour- mealtimes. The average British is making a comeback. New legis- perhaps nowhere more true than in ambiguous. Slut is one of those nalists have documented the family actually spends more time lation on jobsharing and reduced the bedroom, where the strains of words. To be specific it is neces- revival of slowness in a society together in the car than they do working hours has been intro- modern life and hectic schedules sary for me to establish that a slut where time is money and money is around the dinner table! duced, and pundits talk of a new militate against hours of, as Woody can only be a female. It can be used paramount. The backlash against the generation of fureeta, a fusion of Allen would say, the most fun you quite casually to designate a girl the English ‘free’ and the German can have without laughing. Sex is who has a nicer coat or perfect hair. ‘arbeiter’ (worker). an important part of healthy living But generally slut is used to define Working less can make – Oprah’s Dr. Phil recommends a girl who is loose with her sexual people more productive as they three sessions of love-making a favours and who demands no pecu- have more time to relax, which is week as a way to keep fit. niary reparations for sex. key to reflection and creative think- But quality is just as I find that more and more I dis- ing. They have more time for fami- important as quantity, and the agree with this definition of the ly, friends and leisure activities. Tantra movement, memorably word, which is why in this piece I Among the latter slow hobbies, like endorsed by Sting, is about slowing will examine two very different yoga, tai chi and even plain old down and getting more than a conceptions of a slut. knitting are becoming increasingly drunken fumble in the dark. Tantric The first one is indeed the afore popular. The benefit is not only workshops have sprung up all over mentioned which I call Sluts of the psychological, but also physical; where couples or singletons can go Flesh. These girls are not led by stress is the most common cause of to spend a weekend of learning to reason but by the Passions of the insomnia, preventing the deep improve their sensuality. And flesh. This is perhaps evil and Galloping Death sleep essential to cell regeneration according to those who’ve tried it, immoral but I have it on good So what does it mean to fast food hegemony started in Italy that bolsters the immune system it’s worth the effort! authority that this is quite the less- be ‘slow’? It doesn’t have to mean in the late Eighties when Mc and boosts the metabolism. Challenging the cult of er of many Evils in this world. The be earned and not just taken for get crushed, stamped, trodden, doing everything at a snail’s pace. Donalds opened a branch at the Slowing down is often speed in society isn’t simple but it intellect and brain is not used in granted) that it is a travesty of rela- carved and flattened (I really do not According to Carl Honoré, author Spanish Steps in Rome, sparking the best medicine for stress-related can be very rewarding. It doesn’t these cases so we cannot accuse tionships. Of course I am not call- mean to sound pessimistic or bit- of “In Praise of Slow” it’s a frame the foundation of the Slow Food ailments, and is a common advise- have to mean drastic changes – it these girls of deviousness or cun- ing sluts the girls who genuinely ter). of mind; remaining calm and movement. It aims to promote the ment given by practitioners of can be as simple as making your ning. like their other halves. The word As their pathetic soul unflustered even when circum- exact opposite of what McDonalds alternative therapies to their own soup from scratch instead of The second type of slut I will slut is derogatory mainly because it selling life will continue they will stances force us to speed up. We is about – fresh, local, seasonal patients. From acupuncture to reiki, buying an over-priced instant Cup elaborate more on as this one is rel- designates someone who doesn’t fall into the habit of saying words can consider it an art to be revived produce; artisanal production; and homeopathy to massage thera- of Soup sachet, or going for a atively unknown to the world at really value themselves because without meaning. Their feelings in all areas of life – the kitchen, the recipes passed down through gen- py, the growth of complementary leisurely coffee and chatting with large. They are what I call Emo they give away their intimacy so will be so used and reused that workplace, the doctor’s office and erations; sustainable farming and and alternative medicine (CAM) friends instead of maxing your Sluts (or Soul Slappers). They easily. Who can like or value some- when they express their emotions the bedroom. leisurely dining. has been phenomenal in recent credit card buying things you don’t parade around having just as much one who doesn’t value themselves? they will carry no significance and Since the Industrial Since its foundation years, with celebrity adherents really need. sexual intercourse as a regular slut Sluts of the Flesh will they will end up bitter and empty Revolution speed and efficiency Slow Food has built up a member- such as Gwyneth Paltrow and On a more general level, but they not only give their bodies give away their bodies and enjoy They will have not only given up have become a dogma infusing all ship of 78,000 in over fifty coun- Madonna giving the movement a a slower society delivers more of they also throw in their emotions. the process thoroughly, whereas their bodies for sinful pleasures but areas of life. Measuring time accu- tries, and the values it promulgates high media profile. the things that truly make us happy, Some may call it a the Soul Slappers will not only give they will have lost their spirit as rately became crucial and a major are appreciated and practised by The world of conven- things that cannot be measured by bonus; I call it very fine print. I away their bodies but they will also well. So a well meaning piece of step towards the global standardis- many more. The recent television tional medicine is conscious of the economic proxy – good health, bet- believe that the matters of the soul give away their feelings. They are advice to all females: build up ation of time came in 1884 when series by Jamie Oliver in which he significants benefits, whether psy- ter relationships, strong communi- are tenfold more valuable than any letting outsiders into their inner those inner defences and think twenty-seven nations agreed to rehauls the school dinner system in chosomatic or real, and is making ties and a cleaner environment. The favours of the flesh and that what psyche and so they may perhaps three times before you let anyone recognise Greenwich as the prime English schools is just the latest in attempts to integrate both urge to accelerate is still strong, but these girls give away so easily is so have enjoyed the sex but more in. Oh, and always use protection. meridian, and time became a com- a stream of programmes by celebri- approaches into national health slowness is catching up. precious (and what is more should often than not they will eventually modity. ty chefs pulling in considerable rat- systems. In Germany, for instance, Comments, Tips, Hate-mail to: [email protected]. Please feel free to send comment or opinion articles to the same address. All views expressed in the Comment & Opinion section are those of the authors of the individual articles and not those of Trinity News Tuesday January 24th, 2006 21 Trinity News LETTERS

discontinue it as a postgraduate not so much ‘boycott us,’ then, as doesn't seem noble at all. If one matters, boycotting both Coca- Scrapping of degree. ‘boycott them.’ causes conflict one must be pre- Cola and Nestle products. It is Schol. and pared to accept the reaction from evident Starbucks wish to find a Trinity News Yours etc., Yours etc., those who disagree with them way in to the lucrative Irish mar- and not hide away. ket. I am hugely disappointed Selling of MA Eimhin J. Walsh Joshua Edelman that they found it in Trinity EST. 1947 Junior Freshman, History & Chair, TCD Jewish Society Secondly, College Dublin. I am left won- Sir, Theology The person in question failed dering where this will end... If mention that Miss O'Brien works the Buttery contract comes up for I am grateful to 'Trinity News' extremely hard in her given task grabs, will Trinity give it to Election Time is Back (and John Lavelle and Jonathan Is Our Children always willing and always has McDonalds? Drennan) for publishing the pro- Portrayal of time for everyone's needs includ- posal to scrap the Scholarship Learning ing that of the disabled. She cares Yours sincerely, The rumour mill has started back up meaning it Examination (the first time I deeply about peoples needs, she Israel is the Welfare Officer after all. Name with Editor can only be one time of year. The Students’ have heard of such a retrograde proposal)and examining the sta- Sir, They in their letter attempt to Union elections are rolling back around and as tus of the Trinity MA. The com- Sir, inform us what Disability usual there are a whole host of names being mon denominator, it seems, is the I wish to say something about the Awareness should be about. bandied about as possible successors to John placing of financial matters Hugh Harkin (“Boycott Israel’s square root of 121 question in the Obviously they have failed to “Is our children learning?” arti- take advantage of all that was on “Deaf-Dumb” Mannion and co. above scholarly ones. Let me say Apartheid, Trinity News 15th that I am proud of our present Nov) certainly has the right to his cle. offer throughout the week so as scholars as I am proud of the opinions about Israel, but trying to educate themselves about "the Comments While the elections may be of limited interest to scholars of the past, including in to defend them, his article makes Yes I agree that a smart alek difficulties facing those with a some students they are an event all should take their number Edmund Burke a number of objectively false would state +/- 11. But an intelli- disability in college" as quoted Sir, who won Scholarship in 1746. claims that require refutation. gent person would say 11 as the by the author. an interest in. For anyone considering running square root of a number is for election I offer nothing but encouragement. I would like to write a reply to Very best wishes, His claim that “Israel has full and always positive. Only in algebra- Thirdly, the controversial letter regarding Running for election is one of the most interest- complete control over the entire ic equations e.g. x squared = 121 The complaint that this person the term “deaf-dumb”, sent from ing and memorable experiences you can have in Gerald Morgan biblical land between the => x = +/- 11 are there positive has, has been taken out of con- two hearing impaired students. and negative answers. text and I would hope that the your time in Trinity. From speaking in front of FTCD (1993) Mediterranean and the Jordan river” is one that many person in question should get to classes of hundreds of people to speaking in the I, myself, was not amused at Palestinians, including of course Otherwise, congratulations on know Miss O'Brien and I assure mention of me as “deaf-dumb”. rain on the Dining Hall steps, an election cam- the Palestinian Authority (P.A.) publishing such a entertaining you they would regret their com- The term “deaf-dumb” and paign will leave you with many fond memories itself, would dispute. He seems newspaper! ments. The person in question “deaf-mute” is out of date. The Trinity MA would do well to remember that even if you’re not succesful. If you are succesful to ignore the recent Israeli pull- actual term is “deaf”, “hearing out from the whole of Gaza, a Junior Freshman law student in this arena such heated and impaired” and “hard of hearing”. you’ll get the chance to prove whether your Sir, milestone unthinkable a few unjustified words such as theirs claims you could do a better job than the encum- years back. Perhaps more cyni- come with reaction and conse- As I am totally deaf, hearing aid bents are true or not. In relation to the issue of the cally, if Israel did in fact have the quence. I'm all for the right to is of no help to me. University of Dublin ‘’selling’ control Mr Harkin assumes, Wands and free speech but not when it bor- the Master in Arts degree I wish organized suicide bombing cam- ders on slander. I also understand Amongst all the hype it cannot be forgotten how- To Princes William and Harry, to clarify a number of points. The paigns against Israeli civilians Sceptres Article that it is not up to the editor to respectively, I introduced myself ever that a student has died in the past week of MA degree is a historic institu- would have stopped. Sadly, they deny free speech. as follows: a heart attack while on campus. While all the tion within this historic universi- have not. “I am deaf and communicate in I leave my full details below and possible medical available was surely given to ty and proposals to scrap it are Sir, writing with people because of disrespectful to the traditions of His claim that “Palestinian Arabs look forward to a reply. them, the matter raises the question of portable my poor lip reading and unintel- the university. Deputy Olwen in Israel, who make up 20% of I would like to request an apolo- ligible speech”. defibrillators. A possible campaign for SU pres- Enright (FG) seems to claim it the population, are confined to gy for the statement in TN Yours, Writing is my only means of con- ent and future to address could be asking col- gives graduates an unfair advan- only 7% of the land” is utter non- (Crowns and Sceptres issue) versation. I do not know well Vincent O'Mahony lege to provide portable defibrillators in major tage over graduates of the other sense. Palestinian Arab citizens relating to my speech on the sign language. universities who must work for a of the State of Israel have all the topic. The writer, one Ms. Junior Freshman (Intake 05) areas around campus such as the Dining Hall, post-graduate MA, however it is rights of Jewish (or any other) Bohan, claimed that I had a Nursing Hearing people prefer voice to the Arts Block, and the Hamilton. While we all the other universities that are citizens. They all have equal speech prepared. This is a false [email protected] writing. So deaf people prefer obviously hope that we will never see another incorrect to award the MA as a freedom of movement and equal accusation. I was, in fact, drunk. sign language to writing. heart attack on campus, anything that could post-graduate degree. The histor- rights to religious practice, ical background to the award of health care, education, social Yours etc., increase the chances of survival in such an When Diana the Princess of the degree is that traditionally a services, and the like. In many Wales was the honorary patron of emergency would surely be worthwhile and degree in the liberal arts took 7 ways, Arab women in Israel have Neil McGough Starbucks the British Association for the show all the good work the SU can do. years to complete. The end of the more freedoms than in any of the Deaf, she learned sign language period of study was marked by Arab states. In cities like Haifa Trinity News apologises to Mr Sir, through video for 3 months and awarding of an MA to signify and Tel Aviv, Jews and Arabs McGough for any offense or thus managed to deliver speech that the graduate had received live, work, and study (in the very misunderstanding caused - Ed Your article "Starbucks is com- in sign language in meetings and the license to teach in the col- universities Mr Harkin would ing to Trinity" (6/12/05),has been to chat sign language with deaf lege. No examination was boycott) side by side. That this is published three months too late. people. I wrote to her that I was required before inception as a not the case in the territories is, As any student attending St ashamed not to try to learn sign Master in Arts, the candidate in my mind, a glaring injustice, James Hospital will tell you, the language. already having been tested for but that does not change the situ- Welfare Officer mermaid has arrived! the conferring of the BA. The ation within the State proper. I wonder if the hearing impaired degree traditionally bestowed Comments We were aghast to see the coffee students in question have the full membership rights of the Finally, his claim that Prof. Ilan shop (we'd waited 3 years for) knowledge of sign language or if University Senate upon the grad- Pappe of the University of Haifa, Sir, out in St James Hospital serves they use hearing aid in following uate, with the right to vote in “like many other Israelis, is Starbucks coffee. Personally I conversations. elections. In Trinity an MA con- screaming ‘boycott us!’” I write to you in relation to the am hugely disappointed in tinues to outrank all other requires serious clarification. I’m comments made about the Trinity College for giving the Yours sincerely, degrees, except Doctors of not sure who these unnamed Welfare officer, Miss Stephanie contract to such a widely criti- Divinity and Common Law. ‘others’ are, but certainly they, O'Brien in the last edition of 'let- cized multi-national company. Matteo Matubarra like Pappe, are not actually ask- ters to the Editor'. Icarus Editor I would argue that the other uni- ing to be boycotted. Prof I realize there has been difficul- Trinity News apologises to Mr versities are incorrect in the man- Pappe’s acceptance of Mr Firstly, ties in finding a retailer for the Matubarra for any offense inad- ner that they award the MA. Harkin’s invitation to come The reason I write to you and not space. However moral issues vertently caused - Ed Trinity distinguishes between the speak at Trinity — a right the the author of this inaccurate must prevail. Starbucks coffee MA and the Master in boycott would deny to his col- piece is because the person in has caused consternation the Wanted Philosophy, which is broadly leagues at Haifa, Arab and question failed to take responsi- world over on consumer, envi- similar to, for example, the UCD Jewish alike — shows that he bility for their words/comments ronmental and social justice MA. It would appear that, look- sees himself as an exception to by choosing to deny the student grounds. The Trinity campus has ing at the MA in its historical his own proposal. The scream is population their identity. That an excellent track record in these context, that Oxford, Cambridge Trinity Publications is looking and Dublin are correct in how they award the degree and that In the 6th December issue of Trinity News, SU Welfare Officer Stephanie O’Brien was quoted in for a new editor for its the other Irish universities offer- Corrections the article “College Health Service announces end to free treatment as saying that the Students’ ing the MA as a postgraduate & Union “would not not oppose the charges” for the College Health Service. This was a typing Literary Publication Icarus degree are wrong to do so. They Clarifications error and should have read “would not oppose the charges”. We apologise for any confusion should either adopt a similar pro- caused by this error. cedure of awarding the MA 7 years following matriculation or Icarus won Magazine of the Issue 5 January 24th, 2006 Year at the 2005 National Trinity News Volume 58 Editor: Andrew Payne Intern’al Students: Alesya Krit TNT Team Student Media Awards and [email protected] [email protected] Politics: Derek Owens Deputy Editor: Jonathan Drennan Music: Steve Clarke [email protected] the position of editor is open [email protected] [email protected] Books: Chloe Sanderson & Klara Kubiak TNT Editor: Christine Bohan Cinema: Rebecca Jackson [email protected], [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Theatre Editor: David Lydon to all Trinity students Photography Editor:Karina Finegan Alves Travel: Alix O’Neill [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Fashion Editor: Carmen Bryce Editorial Team SU & Societies Enda Hargaden [email protected] News: John Lavelle [email protected] Television Editor: Hannah Scally [email protected] Food & Drink: Rosie Gogan-Keogh [email protected] Assistant News: Una Faulkner [email protected] Photographs: Cian Kennedy [email protected] Careers: Myles Gutkin For more information contact News Feature: Gearoid O’Rourke [email protected] All serious complaints can be made to: [email protected] Science: Oliver North [email protected] National: Anne Marie Ryan [email protected] Trinity News [email protected] Gaeilge: Paul Mulville DU Publications International: Doaa Baker [email protected] 2nd Floor [email protected] Sport Features: Theo O’Donnell House 6 Features: Kathryn Segesser & Liz Johnson [email protected] Trinity College [email protected] Sport: Peter Henry Dublin 2 Comment: Patricia Van de Velde [email protected] [email protected] Phone +353 1 608 2335 22 Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Eagarthóir na Gaeilge: Pól Ó Maoilmhíchil GAEILGE Trinity News Coláiste na Tríonóide - Stair gheall ar na cogaí creidimh idir ollamh tríocha bliain ina dhiaidh Turas Sciála Meabhar Chaitlicigh, Phrotastúnaigh agus sin. Ollúna le Gaeilge i gColáiste na Phreisbitéirigh bhí scoláirí á ndíbirt Bunaíodh Coláiste na Tríonóide: Géaróid Ó agus é/í ar meisce tar éis oidhche muidne ná “Arc 1800”, mar is Is é Coláiste na Tríonóide, Baile agus úsáideadh an coláiste mar Tríonóide sa bhliain 1592. Tá an spraoiúil! féidir leat a thuiscint, bhíomar Átha Cliath an ollscoil is sine in bheairic d'arm rí Shéamuis II i coláiste suite ar thailte seanmhain- * Thomas F. O'Rahilly (1919-29) Conchubhair Bhí clúdach breá sneach- 1800 troigh in airde ar taobh na Éirinn. Tá sé suite i mBaile Átha 1689. Bhí rudaí síochánta go leor istreach i lár na cathrach. * Dáithí Ó hUaithne (1955-67) Ar Oidhche Chaille, chuaigh drong ta ar na cnocanna agus ar gach cnoic. Cliath, agus is é an t-aon chomh- san ochtú haois déag ach bhí cor- Protastúnaigh amháin a d'fhreastail * Máirtín Ó Cadhain (1969-70) ón gColáiste ar aistear iontach. fána. Ar Oidhche Chaille bhí cóisir Leaba coláiste atá ann in Ollscoil Átha raíl ann in aimsir na nÉireannach ar an choláiste ar feadh na gcéadta Chuamar i lig chun na Fraince ag eagraithe dúinn i dteach tábhairne Cliath. Aontaithe (féach Téobald Wolfe bliain, ach ceadaíodh do Is sampla maith é don saghas alt sciáil. Bhí thart fá chaoga daoine áitiúil. Taobh istigh bhí cóisir Bhí cóisireacha éagsúla Ba le linn do rítheagh- Tone) ag deireadh na haoise sin. Ag Chaitlicigh tosú ag staidéar ann tar atá le fáil ar an Vicipéid, an shuaithinseach ar siúl ach lasmuigh eagraithe dúinn chuile oidhche do ann thall sa spraoi. Bhíomar bun- lach na dTúdor sa Bhreatain a bhei- tús an fichiú haois rinneadh iar- éis 1793. I measc na ndaoine cáil- Chiclipéid Shaor. Is feidir leat dul naithe in aice le “Mont Blanc” sna bhí raic i mbun tarlú -troid mhór tseachtain ar théamanna éagsúla, th ag leathnú a gcumhacht in Éirinn rachtaí láidre chun Coláiste na iúla a bhí ina mic léinn ann bhí agus d’alt féin a scríobh faoi rud ar “hAlps”, os cionn “San Moritz” in sneachta. Bhí na hÉireannaigh in mar shampla “thar n-ais chun a bunaíodh Coláiste na Tríonóide. Tríonóide a nascadh le Ollscoil na Téobald Wolfe Tone, Samuel bith ba mhaith leat, nó is feidir leat áit darbh ainm “Les Arc”. Mhair aghaidh gach gach duine a bhí ag scoile”. Shroicheamar ár leapacha on chóisir ollmhór ar feadh seach- dul thar bráid, ní raibh aon duine thart fá a trí gach oidhche agus inár Bhronn bardas Bhaile Átha Cliath hÉireann, ach d'éirigh leis a Beckett, Máire Mhic Róibín, Oscar an alt thuas a athrú freisin fiú. taine. Is breá liom a rá, nár gor- slán, fiú na “Gendarme”- Gardaí na ndúiseacht ar a hocht chun muidne tailte seanmhainistreach ar an neamhspleáchas a choinneáil. Wilde, agus Edward Carson. Bhí Bhuel déan iarracht, cén dochar. taíodh éinne, baill ó Dhia orainn. Fraince, bhí siad ag breathnú go a bheith ar na fana go luath. ollscoil, agus d'fhás sí go mear cé Tosaíodh ag glacadh le an scríbhneoir cáiliúil Gaeilge, Bhualamar, beagnach géar orainn, ach ní raibh ach Tine go raibh an an-chorrach in mná mar mhic léinn i 1904 agus Máirtín Ó Cadhain, ina Ollamh le don chéad uair san aerfort i mBaile sneachta a bhí ann! Éirinn sa seachtú haois déag. Mar ceapadh an chéad bhean mar Gaeilge ann ar feadh scaithimh. http://ga.wikipedia.org/ Átha Cliath, caoga dúinn ag tnúth óstán Oidhche éigean, oidhche le craic agus comhrá. D’eitlíomar Dé Céadaoin a bhí ann, bhí cóisir ó Aerfort Bhaile Átha Cliath ionsar Bhíomar lonnaithe in thar dóigh eagraithe ar ár son. Aerfort “Lyon”. Bhí an eitilt go óstán féin-sheirbhíseach, cúigear i D’itheamar i mbialann darbh ainm haoibheann agus níor mhair sé ach mo sheomra, ceithre bhuachaill “L’Arpette”, a bhí ar ard 2300 dhá uair a chloig. Níor thairing mé agus girseach aonair, in ainneoin an troigh. Fuaireamar ardaitheoir mórán giúirléidí ná trealabh liom, measca sin, d’éireamar go hiontach chuig an mbinn agus sciálamar síos de dheasca sin, bhí mo mhála le chéile. Bhí cúldoras ár seomra don phroinnteach. An béile, “fon- éadrom go leor, ach cara baineann taobh le fana sneachta, bhíomar in due” a bhí ann. Th’éis sin, bhí DJ liom, bhí a málaí lán le smideadh ann sciáil ónár seomra, chruthamar fostaithe agus bhíomar ag damhsa agus a leithéid! D’iompar sé dhá fear sneachta mór mílteach, ba é ár ar na boird agus muidne ag mhála leí, gach ceann níos troime gcosantóir ar feadh ár bhfanacht. caitheamh ár mbrógaí sciála. Mar a ná mé! Mar sin, bhí orm leath a Sna hAlps a bhíomar mar tharla, bhriseamar ceann de na trealaibh a ghlacadh -a leithéid de a luaigh mé thuas, ciallaíodh sé sin boird agus muid ar mire ag damhsa shotal! go raibh a lán sléibhte ceangailte le air! Tar éis cóisire na hoidhce sin, chéile, chomh maith le “Mont sciálamar síos le lúchranna tine Taisteal Blanc” fiú! Bhí cúpla céad inár lámhacha, “FIRE run” a Tar éis trí uair ag taisteal ardaitheoir sciála le fáil, ardaitheoir thugann siad air. ar bhus, shroicheamar ár gceann de gach saghas, b’fhearr liomsa an An cheist: an ndeachaigh scríbe agus phléascamar amach “Telecabin”, cineál góndola a bhí mé arís, don áit agus leis an ionsar ár lóistín. Bhí ár mbrú tógtha inti. D’féadfadh duine dul go dtí gcoláiste? Bhuel níl ann ach frea- ar fána cnoic, bhí na dorchlaí ar fad aon phointe ar an sliabhraon. Bhí gair amháin ar sin..... ar fiar! Caithfidh duine a bheith bailte ná ionadaithe saoire tógtha ar cúramach ag taisteal dá s(h)eomra airdeanna difriúla. An Áit a bhí Cinnte, cinnte,cinnte!!!!!!!!!!

Éigse na Trionóide 2006 Óige na Gaeilge in Amharclann aidh. Oíche na Mac Léinn i gClub spotduaiseanna don scoth. Luan Mac Uaidh Swift. I ndiaidh sin, bhí Fáiltiú san Chonradh na Gaeilge ar Shráid Is ar an Déardaoin a bhí Tharla Éigse na Trionóide an bhli- Atrium, a raibh Sólaistí saor in Fhearchair. Deochanna ar €3 agus an Seisiún Mór thuas staighre sa ain seo idir an 23ú lá is an 27ú lá de aisce traidisiúnta ann. ceol beo. 'Stags Head', agus bhí amhrá- mhí Eanáir. Clár iomlán a bhí ann, Ar an Máirt, léiríodh ‘Yu Ar an gCéadaoin, Céilí naíocht, ceol, damhsa agus a raibh rud eicint ann do chuile Ming is ainm dom’ agus ‘Fluent na gContaetha agus ‘Scoráil scéalaíocht ann. dhuine. Dysphasia’ san Amharclann Robert Sciobtha’ sa Bhutrach. Chaith I gcás má tá ceisteanna ann faoi Ar an gcéad lá, d’ea- Emmet le caint ó stiúrthóir an gach daoine dathanna dá gcuid aimsir an ailt seo, scríobhadh an graigh na Gaeil Óga Comhdháil scannáin Daniel O’Hara ina ndi- chontae. Oíche fhiáin a bhí ann le tseachtain seo chughainn é.

Imeachtaí Suimiúla na Seachtaine Seo An Cumann *Gach Máirt - Oíche na Mac feadh 5 seachtanna – áiteanna Léinn - Ceol Beo agus gach pio- teoranta (8 spás i ngach rang) – Gaelach: nta ar trí euro. má tá suim agat, *Ciorcal Comhrá - Seomra an *Gach Satharn - Ceol Beo seol r-phost chuig Chumainn (Seomra 8) - Máirt [email protected] gan moill óna 7 - 9 i.n.. Is deis mhaith é Early Irish Society: an Ciorcal Comhrá aithne a *Trip to Monasterboice and St. Caledonian: chur ar baill eile an Chumainn Kilian's Centre (Facsimile of Dance practice (6:00 PM - 7:30 Ghaelaigh agus do chuid Wurzburg PM) learning Scottish dancing. Gaeilge a úsáid nó a chleach- Manuscript), Mullagh - Friday, Run through eightsome. Gay tadh ag an am céanna! Bígí February 10th, 2006 Gordons or reel of 51st. ann! Location: regent's house *Turas go dtí an Ghaeltacht: 27 - 29 Eanáir, 2006 TradSoc: *Ollchruinniú Bliantúil: *Seisiúin Ceol - Gach Luan ag An Hist: Mí Bealtaine, 2006 20:00 – An Butrach – Tar led’ uirlis Féach thall - Club Chonradh na *Rangannaí Ceoil – Ag tosnú i Díospóireacht as Gaeilge i Mí Éanair – bodhrán agus gCorcaigh. Duais €1,000, Gaeilge: giotár - €3 an rang – ar urraithe ag Gael Linn.

Comórtas diospoireachta trí Ghaeilge Beidh comórtas diospoireachta trí Eanair sa Seomra Achmhainne (ar Bígí ann! and Tuesday 31st of January in Ghaeilge ar súil ar an 3ú agus ar an stór is airde den GMB, in aice There will be a debating the Resource room (very top floor, Bainseo Bean Jo an 4ú la de Fheabhra i gColáiste le seomra na riomhairí) sa GMB competition (trí gaeilge) held on opposite computer room) in the A) B) na hOllscoile, Corcaigh. Urraithe ag a 5 a chlog san iarnóin. Friday the 3rd and Saturday the GMB at 5pm. All welcome, no Luan Mac Uaidh Bhí bean ag Jo, Dúirt bean liom go ndúirt bean léi ag Gael-Linn, beidh míle euro mar Tá fáilte roimh chách- is 4th of February in UCC. matter what level of Irish or dhuaiseanna ann. cuma faoin gcaighdeán ghaeilge Sponsored by Gael-Linn, there will debating skills. Interested people Is iomaí amhráin ghreannmhara a Bhí bainseo ag bean Jo, Go ndúirt bean eile gur inis bean di Le haghaidh atá agat nó scileanna a 1,000 euro in prizes. should contact Aisling McNiffe at choistear ar shráideanna Bhaile Bhí bainseo ag Jo, Go bhfaca si bean ar bharr an ullmhúcháin do Chorcaigh, beidh díospoireacht. Má ta suim agat In preparation for this, [email protected] Atha Cliath. Seo sampla dóibh. B’fhearr le Jo, Jo ar an mbainseo, tsleibhe dha cheardlann diospoireachta ar seol riomhphoist chuig Aisling: there will be two informal work- Information provided by the Hist Caidé an ceann is fearr leat? Ná bean Jo ar an mbainseo go deo Agus bean nach bean ach sí-bhean í súil de Máirt 24 agus de Máirt 31 [email protected]. shops on Tuesday 24th - PM Tuesday January 24, 2006 Editor: Alesya Krit 23 Trinity News International Students

Hey guys, Welcome back! This issue is about after-Christmas time, how did you find the first part of the year in Trinity/Ireland, how did assignments go, what’s so special in the Dublin Christmas crack, what was it like to come back home and meet your family, friends, what are the expectations for the coming year?! This and more to be found in this paper. Enjoy! L'Auberge espagnole a Esprit irlandais, es-tu là? t'elle tenu ses promesses? The strangest An interesting suggestion by a French Trinity student, Audrey experience with the “Irish spirit”, Gonthier, that going abroad is realizing how much you care encountered by about some people or little things of your every day life back a French stu- at home, that you have stopped appreciating.. dent, Daniel Parce que la nouvelle année est cette énorme bâtisse qui fait partie sans qu’il y est une « Christmas Didier, who was toujours propice au bilan, une de ce « chef d’œuvre » d’architec- party »! A dire vrai, le pourquoi de petite réflexion sur le trimestre ture moderne que représente le Art la chose m’est toujours plus ou lost in the précédent s'imposait avant de building…, J’ai nommé la biblio- moins obscur. Bref, de quoi nous French Alps. A repartir pour de nouvelles aven- thèque… J’étais tellement donner des heures de sommeil à tures! heureuse de trouver (enfin) le livre rattraper une fois rentrés à la mai- way to remind Afin d’éviter toute que je cherchais que je l’ai hon- son. Et oui, car il le fallait bien, et us that we, inter- phrase qui son creux, je ne dirais teusement réquisitionné trop s’il était difficile de m’arracher ne pas que le temps passe trop vite. longtemps…sorry (to be said with serait ce que momentanément à national stu- Voilà qui est dit! Toute rentrée an outrageaous French accent!) ma vie dublinoise, force est de dents, all carry a scolaire porte en elle de nom- d’où les premières amendes. Aussi constater que retrouver mon foyer, breuses questions et parfois de étrange que cela puisse paraître ma famille, mes ami(e)s, m’a per- bit of Ireland in grandes espérances. Pourtant, je pour certains, tout ces légers aléas mis de me régénérer et de vous dirais que je ne savais absol- représentent finalement des bons partager. Pourtant, un étrange sen- our hearts. ument pas quoi attendre de ce pre- moments pour la simple raison timent de manque, que d’autres mier trimestre à Trinity College. qu’ils font partie intégrante de la ont peut être ressenti, persistait… De fait, venir étudier pendant un C’aurait pu être une blague. plaque d’immatriculation far- dans nos verres, que l’esprit Mais au total, rien de partic- an ici dans le cadre de ce que mon Partir […] c’est se découvrir soi même […] Voire un canular façon « sur- felue ? Je m’approche et dis- irlandais m’est apparu. Moi qui ulièrement excentrique. Rien école appelle « l’année d’ouver- prise sur prise. » Mais non, il tingue quelque hiéroglyphe : « avais passé mon temps à le qui vous permette de répondre ture » tient beaucoup plus de c’est s’apercevoir de son attachement aux s’agissait d’une simple coïnci- Dhun na nGall ». Donegal ! chercher là-bas, c’est en sans coup férir à la tradition- l’aventure que du voyage organ- choses, aux gens […] En fait, partir c’est dence. Troublante, mais coïn- J’le crois pas ! Bon, à tous les France, au creux des mon- nelle question, lors du retour isé. Aussi, je préférais ne m’atten- cidence quand même. Je vous coups c’est un touriste qui tagnes endormies, qu’il s’est en France : « alors, comment grandir un peu. dre à rien de particulier et voir sur livre la situation : voici quatre s’est perdu, et qui a trouvé montré. Un esprit fait de bien- sont-ils ces Irlandais ? ». En place. Je dois vous avuer que cela construction d’un nouveau quoti- La formule dit que les voyages heures que nous roulons en refuge dans la ferme. J’ouvre être, d’une sensation étrange tout cas le croyais-je, jusqu’à n’a pas été facile tous les jours au dien, à la fois stable et mouvant, forment la jeunesse, et pour direction des Sauzes, petite la porte. Avec un accent recon- de déjà-vu mélancolique mêlée ma rencontre inattendue avec départ et que l’Auberge Espagnole au sein duquel des liens d’amitié cause… station de ski des Alpes du naissable entre mille, l’homme à la chaleur de la langue, des cette essence exilée pour un n’est rien de plus q'une fiction se sont tissés, des réseaux cos- ...Partir, ce n’est pas Sud, avec pour seule perspec- m’acène un chaleureux « gens, et de nos breuvages. Un temps au milieu des Alpes qu’il faut cesser de mythifier. mopolites se sont crées, et tout seulement apprendre sur les tive les paysages glacés de la bonne jouw ! » Le doute n’est esprit simple, discret, diffus françaises… Cependant, la découverte d’un cela dans la cadre d’un établisse- autres, c’est aussi se découvrir soi vallée de l’Ubaye. Les méan- plus permis : non seulement les mais à la présence rassurante. Finalement, quelle nouveau pays, d’une autre culture, ment qui non seulement est un lieu même; Partir, c’est s’apercevoir dres de la départementale font nouveaux propriétaires ne sont Bizarre, vous en con- morale à cette historiette ? et n’avoir autour de moi que des de formation intellectuelle mais de son attachement aux choses, au écho au silence inhumain, alors pas Français mais je puis main- viendrez. D’autant plus que ce Tous les chemins mènent en visages inconnus au début, a aussi un endroit d’épanouissement gens qui font notre vie de tous les que la température continue sa tenant affirmer avec certitude premier trimestre passé à Irlande ? Chassez l’Irlande, autant été synonyme de passages à personnelle et de socialisation du jours sans même plus que l’on marche rapide vers le négatif. qu’ils sont…Irlandais. Dublin, si riche en découvertes elle revient au galop ? Non, je vide que de nombreux moments fait de toutes les associations que s’en rende compte; En fait, partir Le village est maintenant en Après présentations humaines et géographiques, crois que le Destin a simple- vue, ne reste plus qu’à retrou- rapides, j’apprends que la n’avait pu me permettre de ment voulu nous prévenir : ne de joie. Aussi, je peux affirmer Trinity abritent. c’est grandir un peu. Aussi, ce ver le chemin de la ferme qui, famille entière s’est déplacée répondre à la question essen- tentez pas de l’oublier, sans avec certitude qu’en ce qui me N’oublions pas non plus manque expérimenté n’est autre depuis quelques années déjà, en France, voici trois petits tielle : de quoi était-il fait, cet quoi elle vous rattrapera, votre concerne, j’ai vraiment apprécié la ville elle même, Dublin, avec que celui que l’on éprouve quand sert de refuge à nos pérégrina- mois : il y a là les parents, esprit tant vanté par les nouvelle fibre irlandaise. on doit s’arrêter de lire un livre sans connaître la fin de l’aventure. tions hivernales et familiales. deux enfants en bas âge, et la Français ? Il est facile de L’esprit irlandais, celui que Venir étudier pendant un an ici dans le cadre Mais la voici déjà, là, presque nounou. L’atmosphère est repérer quelques particularités l’étranger cherche, tant bien Et parce que cette année est en cachée par le panneau sig- détendue, familiale et irlandaises, leur gentillesse, que mal, à saisir au bond entre de ce que mon école appelle « l’année d’ouver- devenir, on a envie de savoir ce nalant sa présence. Esthétique surtout…irlandaise. Après un l’ambiance souvent festive des deux discussions autour d’une ture » tient beaucoup plus de l’aventure que qu’il va se passer. Ainsi, si je dois formuler une attente pour les cours, l’ouverture d’esprit des pinte de bière, s’exprime le du voyage organisé. professeurs, répondant sans mieux dans l’absence de con- trimestres à venir, ce serait tout Moi qui avais passé mon temps à le chercher faillir aux questions plus ou science. Ne tentez pas de l’ap- simplement que la richesse des là-bas, c’est en France, au creux des mon- moins pertinentes des étudi- privoiser, de le dompter. ce premier trimestre à l’étranger. ses pubs et son ambiance festive rapports humains que j’ai perçue à tagnes endormies, qu’il s’est montré. ants, la joie qui se répand dans Laissez-le venir à vous, faire Comme d’autres « visit- contrebalaçant sa grisaille et son travers mes rencontres soit tou- les cœurs dès la porte du pub son chemin dans votre esprit, ing students », il a été marqué par froid hivernal, qui offre de nom- jours aussi grande, et même plus franchie et la première bière et vous comprendrez enfin les premiers essais à rendre…en breuses possibilités de se divertir, encore, et de trouver une jolie simple, structure imposante : repas délicieux, et une fois les avalée à la hâte, leur ferveur pourquoi l’Irlande est en vous, retard parfois…! Ce qui donc par ce qui est non négligeable quand dernière ligne à mon histoire l’ouvrage exhale le rural. Du enfants couchés, nous discu- sportive, et, last but not least, là, quelque part. Comme une la même occasion permet de faire on est Erasmus…!! D’ailleurs, il dublinoise. Quand à ce qui est des terroir français, pour sûr ! tons dans la langue de leurs talents de conteurs. Bien quête sens dessus dessous, où la connaissance du Head of est assez remarquable de constater résolutions pour cette nouvelle Enfin peut-être pas. Pourquoi Shakespeare autour de l’âtre. entendu, cela ne va pas sans pour atteindre le graal, le Department de la matière con- à quel point toute fête est l’occa- année 2006, j’ai justement décidé donc cette voiture garée près Et c’est là, devant le feu endor- une certaine superficialité et chevalier doit lui tourner le cernée. De même, comme beau- sion d’au moins une semaine de d’arrêter d'en prendre! Et vous? de l’entrée a-t-elle un volant à mi dont les rougeoiements se une conscience extrêmement dos. coup d’étudiants, il a également soirées. Vous souvenez vous de droite ? Et pourquoi cette reflétaient par intermittence développée de leur insularité. fallu que je me familiarise avec Noël? Pas une journée ou presque Het Erasmus Effect A Dutch Trinity student, Lieke Boersma, shares a shocking “coming back to Netherlands” experience, which involved getting lost in her mother's house in the middle of the night. What else can a half-year in Trinity bring? Some after- party syndrome, a bit of an Irish accent and some stories about Dubliners, who shop before Christmas like their lives depend upon it, are to be discussed.

Terug in Nederland zijn room. Het resultaat hiervan was beangstigende hoeveelheid knip- neer elke keer dat je iets zegt na drie maanden was een aparte dus dat ik in Nederland aankwam perende lichtjes en de kuddes iedereen begint te lachen. ervaring. Steeds dacht ik, hé die met een koffer vol met cadeaut- Ieren die je met een glazige blik Verder was iedereen mensen praten Nederlands! Goh, jes, zonder dat er, hoe hard ik ook en grote shoppingbags onder hun heel erg blij met de cadeautjes uit misschien komt dat wel doordat zocht, ook maar een enkel bruik- we in Nederland zijn. Ik moest baar kledingstuk in te vinden was. Als ik tegen een medestudent over essays dus wel even wennen aan mijn Vervolgens ga je eens of boeken lezen begin word ik vol afschuw nieuwe omgeving. Vooral de denken over de afgelopen maan- aangekeken alsof ik twee hoofden heb. eerste nacht bij mijn moeder thuis den en wat je zo allemaal gedaan was verwarrend toen ik wakker hebt. Een van de belangrijkste armen omver lopen. Ierland. Die ik braaf had uitge- werd en helemaal in paniek raak- dingen is dat ik ontzettend veel De kerst in Nederland zocht uit een van de 100 giftshops te omdat ik het toilet niet kon vin- mensen heb ontmoet van verschil- was behoorlijk sneeuwerig en ook die Dublin telt. Dat was ook nog den. Ik waande me nog steeds in lende nationaliteiten. Dublin is vooral erg gezellig. Mijn moeders een avontuur apart. Ik ging naar mijn kamertje in Dublin. Toen ik echt een stad met culturele diver- vriend is Engels en we vierden de een giftshop met twee Ieren. Het mij de volgende morgen wilde siteit wat het een heel gezellige kerst met hem en zijn zus. Ik was zijn verder twee ontzettend leuke deze mooie strop- Ieren?! Kennelijk niet. En ik maar ook maar enigszins iets van er al bang voor, maar zodra ik mensen, maar mijn advies is: dasspeld dan? Of deze-totaal nut- denken dat Nederlanders gierig “werk” gedaan heeft. Als ik tegen teloze met vier verschillende zijn. een medestudent over essays of […] neem Ieren niet mee naar een Ierse mijn mond open deed heerste er neem Ieren niet mee naar een hilariteit alom. Gelijk werd er Ierse giftshop want je komt er standen-dansende kabouter Weer aangekomen in boeken lezen begin word ik vol giftshop want je komt er nooit meer weg. geroepen “Aaaahhh, je hebt een nooit meer weg. Terwijl ik ver- dan?!” Toen ik mij uiteindelijk Dublin voelde ik me eigenlijk al afschuw aangekeken alsof ik twee Iers accent! Wat lief!” Helemaal woede pogingen deed om een zo tevreden stelde met een paar heel snel weer op mijn gemak. De hoofden heb. Kennelijk heb ik de aankleden kwam ik erachter dat sfeer geeft. Aangezien ik in niet lief. De rest van de avond heb normaal mogelijk uitziend Guinness glazen werd ik internationale studenten feestjes Erasmus mentaliteit toch nog niet mijn koffer toch wel erg leeg was. Nederland was heb ik helaas niet ik geen woord Engels meer cadeautje uit een hoop (laten we afkeurend aangekeken: “Lieke, gaan natuurlijk gewoon weer helemaal door, maar gelukkig heb Dit was veroorzaakt door het alles meegekregen van de kersts- gesproken. Het is niet dat ik niet het netjes houden) “prul” te vis- you could’ve just taken those verder alsof er nooit een kerst ik nog vier hele maanden om hem “naar een feestje gaan de avond feer. Wat me echter altijd bij zal trots ben op mijn “Ierse” accent, sen werd het een na het andere from the pub, you know.” Had ik vakantie is geweest. Ik kwam er onder de knie te krijgen. voordat je moet vliegen” synd- staan is de belachelijke, bijna maar het is nogal frustrerend wan- onder mijn neus geduwd, “en dan helemaal niets geleerd van de wel achter dat ik de enige ben die And the last thing... In the next issue we will try to find the best place in Ireland to go on a weekend trip. I’m sure that you’ve done thousands of them so far and have some sufficient experience to share. Please do so via cell 0851495979 or by mail [email protected] and leave your article before the 12th of February. If you don’t have any so far - don’t forget to pick up a next issue in week 6 of this term and find it out, to enjoy the rest of your stay here in Ireland. If any questions occur to you, please don’t hesitate to contact. Take care, Alesya. 24 Tuesday January 24th, 2006 Science Editor: Oliver North SCIENCE Trinity News The Case for Carbon Taxes Louise Cargin examines the fallout of Kyoto’s failure and the possibility of taxing carbon dioxide emissions

The case for carbon taxes in Ireland to be introduced in this country in the form of subsidies for such has never been stronger. The the year 2000, as part of a compre- things as housing and education. growth of industry in this country hensive strategy to curb emissions Other taxes could be reduced also, has brought about huge changes for and reach our Kyoto target. leveling revenue amounts. Taking it’s people. Living standards have Concerns about international com- this into account, previous losses improved; in fact, quality of life for petitiveness are the basis of gov- incurred seem somewhat superfi- the Irish has reached an all time ernmental failure to draft and cial. Secondly, it is important to high. Even those living on benefits implement carbon taxes that would note that taxes would not be intro- have fridges, washing machines, significantly reduce the amount of duced suddenly. Implication of central heating and cars. A far cry CO2 Ireland is responsible for pro- such measures would be gradual from the impoverished living con- ducing. In 2002, the idea of intro- enough to allow us to accommo- ditions that so many in this country ducing such taxes was abandoned date them without major disruption suffered as little as twenty years altogether. to our financial lives. Losses will ago. So, on the surface, it would These taxes would have only be suffered if we fail to make seem that the Irish people are win- to be levied not just on industry, but necessary changes in adjusting to ning. But what is the price of the on every sector of the economy, for new prices. Thirdly, the country Celtic tigers roar? The price, fellow all sectors are involved in energy will save money that would other- citizens, is our lifeline; it is the very consumption. In fact the most wise be lost as a result of not meet- air we breathe. As a result of indus- pressing air pollution problem in ing our Kyoto target. If trends pro- trialization, millions of tons of this country has been identified as ceed as predicted, Ireland will end harmful emissions are churned out smoke levels in Dublin, a substan- up paying just about 600 million as into Ireland’s atmosphere every tial amount of these emitted by the a result of being so far over its year. burning of coal in household fires. limit. Carbon taxes would reduce The country as a whole Approximately one million tons of the estimated overshoot by up to a may be considered relatively free CO2 arise from household electric- third, thus considerably reducing of air pollution, when compared to ity generation in Dublin each year. this figure. Carbon taxes are a sure many of our European counter- Add to this the vast amounts of way to reduce carbon emissions. parts. Nonetheless at the rate we motor exhaust emissions… .the list Any economist will tell you that are going, Ireland will lose its goes on. The very mention of car- when confronted with price ‘green’ reputation and serious bon taxes sparks the fear of finan- changes people do change their problems for all in this country will cial loss in many people. Were they consumption pattern; and this is ensue. We as a nation are contribut- introduced; at a proposed rate of 20 paramount to reducing carbon ing to the climate change that is euro per ton; the government emissions and reaching our Kyoto global warming. This is possibly would receive in or around the target. the greatest potential human crisis region of an extra 850 million euro Concentrating on the in recorded history. Can it really be each year. But what would the ram- short-term financial impact of car- such a great threat to mankind? ifications of such measures be to bon taxes on society, is really Yes. Are we taking adequate steps the Irish citizen? It has been esti- neglecting the core issue here. We to address the problem? Let’s take mated that the average household in Ireland have a golden chance to a look. would pay about 246 euro per make changes now that will save us Coal miners: even more fed up of carbon than the rest of us In ratifying the Kyoto annum in the form of carbon taxes. from environmental calamity in Protocol of 1997, Ireland has com- Ranging from 157 euro for those in years to come. Food security and and emphysema are significantly ucts such as milk, cheese and eggs not to breastfeed their babies? needed to push other measures into mitted to reducing harmful emis- the lowest socio-economic classes, health top the list of potential disas- increased; that is to name just a contained levels of dioxins deemed Anyone can see that there is some- motion. Ireland has reached an sions to 13% above 1990 levels by to 336 euro for those in the highest. ter areas if appropriate steps are not few. Furthermore, dioxins infiltrate ‘toxic’ by food regulatory authori- thing drastically wrong here. environmental crossroads. What the year 2012. We are not on the This may seem like a sizable loss to taken to stabilize levels of harmful water supplies and contaminate ties. Granted, these cases are Today, Ireland can pride itself on lies ahead depends on what we track to fulfilling this commitment. the casual observer, but let us con- emissions in our atmosphere. Most soil. Degrading soils and deterio- extreme, but I put it to you: Is this having one of the lowest levels of choose to prioritize. We should not Actually it is predicted that we will sider the impacts in more detail. of these emissions (including CO2) rating water sources will place predicament, or anything remotely dioxins in the world. Lets do all we fear or criticize any plan to intro- overshoot the target by 25%. contain high levels of many diox- huge strains on food security. like it, what we want to see happen can to keep it that way. duce these taxes; rather, we should Carbon Dioxide (CO2), accounts Firstly it must be remembered that ins. These are immensely harmful, These carcinogenic dioxins have a in this country? In country that Of course, carbon taxes embrace and support such action. It for approximately 50% of global this money would stay within the carcinogenic substances, poisonous nasty habit of collecting and con- relies as heavily on the dairy indus- are not the only measures needed to will greatly aid in creating the kind warming. Yet instead of decreasing country. It would be received by to almost all known organisms. centrating in animal fats. In some try as we do, the answer is surely curb emissions and slow or halt the of future we all want to see. carbon dioxide emissions, Ireland’s the Irish government in the form of Breathing these substances into our high-dioxin areas in the USA, no, no way. What would your reac- national and global crisis we are emissions are rising, and rising rap- revenue. In turn, this money could lungs, risks of such illnesses as farmers have been banned from tion be if I told you that in some facing. They would be however, idly. Originally carbon taxes were be returned to the Irish people in lung cancer, cardiovascular disease selling their produce because prod- such areas, mothers were advised the strongest motivating factor The Question We’re Asking This Week: The Answer is What if Schrodinger had put Blowing in the something else in his box? Wind Schrodinger’s cat, some might say But what would’ve hap- quantum physics’ most famous pened if Schrodinger had been an Patrick Dustin looks at the benefits of wind power cat, is a theoretical demonstration animal rights activist, and decided of quantum theory’s principal of to build a somewhat larger box How many technological innova- ready and waiting for the Irish con- gy generated by wind farms. superposition. The thought exper- into which he put, rather than his tions remain locked away in a hid- sumer. Who then is willing to hop 1Kwh is approximately the elec- iment, invented by Erwin beloved moggy, say, consistently den vault waiting until the world is on the wind wagon and utilize the tricity used by an electric cooker Schrodinger in 1935 goes like overrated 17th century frenchman ready? It’s easy to imagine com- power this technology has to offer? plate in one hour. Sources such as this: A cat is put, rather inhumane- Rene Descartes? “Aaaah” the puter developers not only thinking The chief drawback of Sustainable Energy Ireland indi- ly, in a box with a vial of poison, deeply insecure but massively pre- into the future but having already renewables, according to the latest cate the maximum cost of wind into which we cannot see. The tentious Rene would say “Aaaah. developed processors, for example, edition of The Economist, is their power to be 5.216 €c/kWh, how- chances that the vial will release Cogito Ergo Sum. Aahaah”. And which are beyond our time and cost compared with conventional ever, in addition there are costs to its poison killing the cat are exact- would hence disprove quantum remain in the pipeline until the con- energy sources. The cost of gener- human health and the environment ly evens, with no way of knowing theory. This would, according to sumer can handle what is not yet on ating electricity from wind turbines that are not reflected in the price of whether it has done so until the renowned sociopath and Quantum offer. Energy from innovations in is at least 5 cents per kilowatt hour electricity. The EU’s ExternE proj- box is opened. Quantum theory Physicist Olivia Floyer-Acland, the field of wind power, however, (kWh) while conventional sources ect rates the external costs of wind states that until the box is opened “Undermine the laws that govern is already up for grabs as the abili- are generally lower between 3 and energy at 0.26€cper kWh com- the sorry feline exists in a sort of the matter of space, causing the ty to harness the power of the wind 5 cents per kWh. These costs in pared with up to 15 €c/kWh for limbo, both alive and dead, in a universe to implode and Christ to has been thoroughly developed cents refer to the amount of money some coal fired generation. The superposition of states. It is only come again. I hate cats” over the last decade. Energy from paid by utility companies, for brunt of pollution attributed to un- when the box is opened that the wind power has arrived on scene example, to receive 1 kWh of ener- clean energy such as in the case of superposition is lost and the cat many coal powered plants is taken becomes either alive or dead. by society through increased med- Rene Descartes, looking smug ical and insurance costs, degrada- tion of the environment and impact CO2 into the atmosphere since 1st dotted around the countryside then on tourism. The Irish, among the January 2003. (This is equivalent wind power looks set to take hold. Whales Not as Spanish, Chinese, Americans, to taking 493,829 cars off the road According to Sustainable Energy Germans and others recognize this for a year!) And the average con- Ireland, if Ireland adopts a policy and have supported using wind tur- sumer can buy electricity from to provide 30% of electricity from Clever as Dolphins bines. these people?? It seems the answer renewable sources by 2020 the Ten kilometers off the is a simple yes and they provide benefits may include the provision Arklow coast lays a shallow-water both commercial and residential of electricity for two million homes Shock sandbank where seven newly erect- supply. So, clean renewable ener- and the creation of 1500 new jobs. ed GE 3.6-megawatt turbine gy is available in Ireland and await- With recent rises in oil machines produce energy from the ing the discerning consumer. price, concerns about the future of A whale was sighted swimming up BBC news website talks optimisti- wind which is then fed into the Companies such as fossil fuels and a better awareness the Thames river in central London cally of a rescue effort involving “a national electricity grid. (The Airtricity are willing to invest in of the impact our energy needs on Friday the 21st of January. system of pontoons”, this is their Arklow bank is soon to be viewed the technology and remain compet- have on the environment, both gov- Although the whale declined an answer to many of the world’s at 52N 6W when the lads at Google itive and consumer confidence in ernment and consumer have real- interview with Trinity News problems and has rarely worked in Earth take some higher resolution this new source of energy is grow- ized the benefit of climbing on Science’s team of roving reporters the past. Scientists have speculated photos). The Arklow bank project ing. As more and more consumers board the wind wagon. Whether it has been rumoured that the whale that the whale will probably not was a joint venture by General choose wind energy, funding for the wind turbine is the ultimate had come to London to see the survive its once-in-a-lifetime pil- Electric and local Irish company more turbines and technology will solution remains to be seen, but for queen. Efforts from the most sil- grimage, and have blasted its deci- Airtricity. Airtricity are the promi- improve and in turn this will bene- now it’s a solution that is both use- ver-tongued of marine biologists sion as foolish and the final evi- Turbines: The solution to all life’s problems or just nent Irish wind power company fit the consumer. So if residents ful and competitive. had, at the time of going to press, dence that whales are “effectively who claim they have saved the accept the look of wind turbines failed in persuading the whale to big stupid dolphins”. glorified windmills? release of 2,074,084 Tonnes of turn around. And although the Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell Tuesday January 24th, 2006 25 Trinity News SPORTS FEATURES BO’D Keen To Answer Ireland’s Call Captain and key player Brian O’Driscoll will be desper- ate to lead his Ireland side to victory in this year’s Six Nations tournament following his absence from the Autumn Internationals last November. After a miserable autumn series, has been from centre that the Irish representative teams at under- Irish rugby fans have much to cele- Leinsterman has made the greatest age level. brate with impressive provincial impact. John Kelly is back in the The other uncapped performances in the Celtic League squad, and will also be competing players in the squad are the light- and Heineken Cup and the return to for a wing berth, and together with ning quick Wasps scrum-half Eoin form and fitness of captain and out- out-half Jeremy Staunton he has Reddan and the hard-working and side-centre Brian O'Driscoll. been given the opportunity to belat- aggressive of O'Driscoll was sorely edly kick-start an international Leicester. Many considered missed against New Zealand and career. Jennings extremely unfortunate not Australia, but has looked to be on Ireland start their cam- to have been picked in the squad his best form following his return paign with a match they ought to for the autumn matches against for Leinster, and this weekend win, but which is becoming more Australia, Romania and the All scored an impressive try and creat- challenging by the year, against Blacks, though he still faces stiff ed two more against Bath to help Italy at on the 4th competition for a place in the back- lead the province to the Quarter- of February. row from the likes of David finals of the competition. Wallace and Dennis Leamy, both Michael Cheika, “The return of former on excellent form for Munster, but Leinster’s head coach, was effusive captain Lawrence O'Sullivan should really look to in his praise of O’Driscoll after the give the former Leinster player Bath match, citing his immense Dallaglio will be a some competitive international professionalism and commitment trump card for an experience soon. to making a full recovery before England team seek- The big news as far as testing his match-fitness in a com- other Six Nations squad selections petitive environment. Cheika also ing to bore their goes is the return of Lawrence sent out a warning to other sides in opponents to death” Dallaglio to international rugby. the Six Nations, stating that he felt One of the most irritating players sorry for anyone who had to mark Paul O'Connell, the gin- of all time, he will certainly be a the Blackrock College man when ger Martin Johnson of Munster also trump card for an England team playing as he is now. makes a welcome return from seeking to bore their opponents to O’Driscoll’s enforced injury, and with Munster’s cureent death with their unique brand of absence over the autumn from a form should help to bolster a pack misery-inducing conservative play, very nasty shoulder operation, that struggled to assert itself despite the abundant talent, breath- necessitated by the infamous against Southern Hemisphere taking flair and attacking skills of ‘spear-tackle’ incident against the opposition. is injury- English backs like Hodgson and All Blacks in July saw Ireland des- free as well, and Ireland will be Lewsey. perately lacking leadership and pleased to see the man vying with For Wales, the outra- attacking nous, though it is true O'Driscoll for the honour of lead- geously long suspension of Gavin that debutant ing try-scorer back in contention Henson for two realtively harmless impressed as his replacement and for a green jersey. incidents, combined with Sonny should feature in the side this , who won Parker's retirement from interna- spring. an All-Ireland medal with Trinity tional rugby and 's Trimble will be compet- Under 20s is also included in the career-threatening knee injury ing with the likes of well-estab- squad as one of four uncapped leaves them with huge holes to fill lished players Gordon D’Arcy and players, along with his Leinster in the midfield before their opening for a spot alongside team-mate . Heaslip clash with England at Twickenham O’Driscoll in the backline. will be hoping to win his first inter- on February 4th. One possibility for national cap after coming away O’Sullivan to solve his newfound from the Autumn series without Full Six Nations updates will fol- midfield selection quandry would clocking up any playing time, low in the next issue of Trinity be to move D’Arcy to the wing to despite showing consistently good News The return of Captain and talismanic figure Brian O’Driscoll will be a huge boost to an Ireland side in desper- partner Shane Horgan, Denis form throughout the Celtic League Hickie or , though it and Heineken Cup and starring for ate need of a resurgence in form in this year’s Six Nations. George Hook Goes Rugby And Soccer A Little Bit Mental It is clear to most impartial and its atmospehere observers that George Hook is just and history. Not likely. a little bit crazy. On Saturday 21st At this stage, obviously January he confirmed everyone’s worried about being outdone by his long-standing suspicions, and in fellow pundit, Brent Pope decided true over-excitable sports pundit to weigh in with his own decalra- Cross Over The Liffey fashion, he went just a little bit tion of indignation, citing his many mental. enjoyable post-match experiences and Six Nations matches. Understandably upset in the bars and pubs of Limerick as Another benefit would be about RTE’s loss of the Heineken testament to his respect for the increased likelihood that Cup broadcasting rights to Munster’s rugby culture. He Ireland could win bids to host or SkySports, Hook appeared at alsmost seemed to have a tear in co-host high profile sporting tour- RTE’s broadcasting box at his eye as he recalled the “sixteen naments and festivals, which Thomond Park wearing a morose wonderful years” he had spent would not only help boost the expression, and dark funeral suit coming down to Thomond Park, economy and raise Ireland’s inter- with black tie, all finished off with and no one can doubt the truth of national profile, but which would a black armband to mourn the pass- such a statement. Quite why he crucially bring in much needed rev- enue to support the playing of sport at development and youth levels. If Croke Park were made a viable venue, you can be sure that Ireland would be hosting a signifi- cantly larger number of events like the Heineken Cup Final or Champions League Final than is currently the case. One factor that the GAA also seem to have overlooked is that very few people outside Ireland actually know about Croke Park’s very existence, and those that do have little respect for the sporting body which was refusing to allow national teams in need of a new home to avoid going overseas Computer Graphic depicting a view from inside the new-look Lansdowne Road to or elsewhere for home The GAA have, at long last, over- by the IRFU to the GAA is "historic". with two world-class venues for games. come their own prejudice and suc- rumoured to have been around This ends an extremely field sports once Lansdowne Road Whilst the GAA main- cumbed to pressure from the gov- €1.5million, and though no deci- sorry and xenophobic chapter in is completed, a situation that would tained that they were supporting ernment in allowing Croke Park to sions have been reached over the the history of Irish sport, and it is certainly be in everyone’s interests, Gaelic games by restricting access, The incredible Hook: Don’t make him angry, you they were in fact harming the be used as a venue for rugby and future of non-gaelic games at unfortunate that it took what was as it would provide far more versa- wouldn’t like him when he’s angry... football matches during the rede- Croke Park after the completion of essentially an enormous cash bribe tility in terms of scheduling, pre- image of the sports outside Ireland. ing of European rugby’s knockout should stop at sixteen just because velopment of Lansdowne Road Lansdowne Road, it is hard to see from the government for the GAA venting any potential clashes Nothing will improve the chances stages from terrestrial television. RTE won’t be paying him anymore next year. either organisation giving up the to bring about such a change. between football and soccer match- of hurling and football becoming When questioned live on seems like a petulant question. The 82,300 capacity sta- increased revenue that will come Hopefully the three Irish es, and reducing pressure on over- more popular more than their new- air about his admittedly eyecatch- Despite the hyperbole, dium will make an ideal foster from at least five international official bodies, which between burdened groundstaff to keep found attatchment to an interna- ing appearance, Hook began a (jus- these impassioned arguments in home for non-gaelic sports over the matches per year being played in a them govern this island's four most pitches in top-class condition tional sport like rugby and a truly tified) rant about what the ERC favour of an Irishman’s right to next two or three years, starting stadium of such capacity. popular sports, will be able to put throughout wet and muddy winters. global one like soccer. have done to Irish sports fans. watch free sport in his own home with Ireland's 2007 Six Nations The FAI, Ireand's soccer aside their ludicrous prejudices and Moving bigger matches As the great George “The ERC have sold are admirable, but Georgey should match against France. The GAA Association, has reached a similar commit to a lasting agreement that to Croke Park, for instance any Hook (see article , right) said, Irish rugby’s heritage down the perhaps have stopped just short of apparently insisted that Croke agreement, allowing them access to will not only benefit all parties Ireland vs England clashes (sure to “Munster vs. Perpignan. At Croke river,” seemed to be a favourite requesting that Stephen Spielberg Park's first rugby match could not Croke Park for at least three inter- involved financially but will also be emotive occassions in such a Park. Taoiseach, take that down.” mantra of the intransigeant Hook, collaberate with the (deceased) involve English teams as a result of nationals in 2007. IRFU chief exec- be doing a huge favour for Irish stadium), whilst keeping smaller and he angrily repeated it several Cecil B. DeMilo to direct a film its bloody history, though England utive Philip Browne said the agree- sport and its fans. matches at Lansdowne Road would times, demanding to know whether about Munster’s breathtaking vic- will be the second team to face ment was a "significant milestone An ongoing rental agree- also heap to alleviate the massive the likes of or any- tory over Sale. Well done, Hooky. Ireland at the venue. in Irish sport" and FAI chief execu- ment of some kind between the shortfall in ticket supply to events one else on SkySports’ rugby panel The match-fee payable tive John Delaney described it as organisations would leave Ireland like soccer World Cup qualifiers knew as much as he did about 26 Tuesday 24th January, 2006 Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell Trinity News SPORTS FEATURES Pharaohs Off To Flying Start In African Cup Of Nations Gadafi’s boys were no match for the pride of the Pharoahs as the hosts of the 2006 Tournament start brilliantly in front of home fans and build a clear lead at the top of Group A Egypt, hosts of this years African minutes later a stunning thirty yard Serbia & Montenegro couldn’t stars of the tournament. If Egypt them the dubious pleasure of a for- Cup of Nations, took all three free kick from Mohamed Aboutrika manage to throw away, and the can maintain this momentum mal visit from the commander-in- points from the opening match of had all but guarenteed the win for Egyptians duly finished the match through key clasehs with Group A chief of Ivory Coast’s army. the tournament when they played the Pharoahs before half-time. as winners by three goals to nil. rivals Ivory Coast and Morocco, Cameroon are undoubt- Libya at Cairo International Libya started the second The incredibly tight then their progression throughout edly the team to beat in Group B, Stadium. half well, pushing Egypt while the security at the game was rumoured the tournament will be a formality. and anything less than a semi-final Egypt managed to put a hosts seemed prepared to sit back, to be as a result of an alleged Morocco have been terri- spot for this proud footballing poor build-up to the tournament but eventually over-eagreness got appearance by Colnel Muammar bly inconsistent of late and need a nation will be a massive disap- behind them in overcoming a the better of them, and a series of Gadafi himself, but if Libya’s lead- good run in the tournament in order pointment. Tunisia look likely to Libyan side that was down to ten reckless challenges saw goalkeeper ing proponent of dapper military- to re-establish themselves on the emerge as the leaders of Group C, men, and doing so in some style. Luis de Agustini sent off. Having chic was in the stands, he was world stage after a miserable run and are another nation that look Having previously lost away at blatantly hauled down Mohamed keeping an unusually low profile. that saw them fail to qualify for this certain to make the semi-finals. In Libya in the World Cup qualifiers Barakat, the African Footballer of Gadafi could be forgiven for year’s World Cup in Germany. Group D it is Nigeria who are like- in a run which also saw them con- the Year, inside the Libyan box, de remaining incognito if he was The Ivory Coast side are ly to dominate, but it would be cede two games to footballing min- Agustini ensured that his replace- indeed present, so lacklustre was deperate to reimpose their name foolish to totally write off Senegal,, nows The Ivory Coast, a victory in ments first duty on the pitch was to the performance of his national amongst the elite African nations who easily have the talent, if not front of home fans will be a mas- face the hungry boot of Mido as he side. after a decade and a half of obscu- the current form, to go all the way. sive boost to a team that desperate- took the ensuing penalty. The hosts will gain great rity since their last major tourna- It should be a terrific ly needs to rediscover some form. Muftah Ghazalla made confidence from this stylish win, ment victory in 1992. Whether or tournament, and anyone keen to Playing in front of the an impressive save, but was unable particularly in light of the impres- not they can do so will almost cer- take a look at some of the emerging President of Egypt, as well as many to stop the rebounded shot by sive performances from the likes of taily be decided by their group sides of African football prior to other leading Egyptian digniatries, Ahmed Hassan. A three goal lead Mido, who showed he is just as match against Morocco, and the Germany 2006 would do well to they established a good lead in the against ten men on home ground cool and calm with the boot as he is players will be desperate to avoid follow its inevitable twists and Jay Jay Okocha is set to be a star of the 2006 African 17th minute through Tottenham’s was the sort of advantage that even in the air. Barakat also put in a fine aother early and embarrassing turns closely. Cup of Nations, and could well be key to a Nigerian Ahmed “Mido” Hossam. Just five a characteristically lazy team like display, and is set to be one of the flight home, which last time earned victory in the tournament Fairytales on the Fields of Dreams earned draws, in reality these World Cup would be a good place Greece? We dream of Maradona, of great games and great memories Andrew Payne games were not what they seemed. for them to emerge. Cruyff, of Best. The game has been need to come from the best. The While the Burton players and fans While there is no team starved of late of these players and greatest advertisement for the FA Fairytale stuff - every year around got half an hour of Rooney and with a true fairytale story like that these dreams. The lacklustre per- Cup in decades was the 1999 semi- this time the old football cliché is Ronaldo, for the most part they of Iraq, whose soccer team reached formances of many of the world's final replay between Arsenal and taken off the shelf, dusted down were treated to a reserve side made the semi-finals of the 2004 finest in Japan/Korea and Portugal Manchester United. A game played and rolled out for the FA Cup third up of players who in some cases, Olympics following two decades of have left a void. Only one players by full strength sides with players round. The big guns join the fray such as that of Richie Jones, they horrific torture at the hands of truly shines bright at the moment. at the peak of their ability. A game and the cameras travel down to a would be forgiven for never having Saddam Hussein's son Uday, as The one player who every kid in which featured fire, passion, an small English town where a bunch heard of. While the image of qualification stories go there have the school yard 'bags' to play as is injury time saved penalty, a red of part-timers, plying their trade as Rooney signing shirts for his oppo- been some fair candidates for fairy- the untouchable Ronaldinho. No card, and one of the greatest goals plumbers or electricians most of sition was a memorable one, the tale status. While Trinidad and other player today creates the same the game has seen. These are the the week, take on a team of likes of van Nistelrooy, Giggs and “How many people have played on the street games that people dream of and Premiership superstars (that, or a even Gary Neville were nowhere to that live on forever in people's side of reserve players and young- be seen. and dreamed of playing for Greece? We dream memories. sters aspiring to be superstars). The While the trip to Old of Maradona, of Cruyff, of Best. The game has In Germany this summer cameras come in, the amateurs get Trafford for the replay is something been starved of late of these players and these the football world needs games like 90 minutes in the spotlight and then the Burton players will treasure and these and it needs its greatest just as quickly as it began it's all something indeed worthy of the dreams” teams, teams like Brazil, France, over, the television rights and ensu- attention it's given (despite the 5-0 Tobago (led by Leo Beenhakker, buzz when he's on the ball, no other Italy, Spain and Argentina playing ing financial stability the only sign result), recent times have seen the one of three former Holland bosses player tries such outrageous tricks, at their peak. Games that will never that the match ever happened to the false championing of many would- set to lead other nations in no other player can score such sub- be forgotten. Euro 2000 was the outside world. For the fans and be fairytales. Take for instance Germany) are the smallest country lime goals, and has any other play- last tournament to provide this. players however the occasion of Greece's victory. While it's impos- ever to qualify for the World Cup, er ever set up goals with intention- These games are needed to spark some of the world's best taking to sible to criticise the Greek people the appearances of Angola and al passes with his back? the imagination, to inspire the kids the field and playing the local boys for their joy, the Greek squad was Togo will be even more interesting. Ronaldinho is the only real idol to come out onto the street after the is something to cherish forever. made up of players from some of Both teams are comprised mainly today. The game needs others and games and play in the light of the This year's third round Europe's top leagues employing of home-grown players still plying needs great teams. street lamps, pretending to be provided more evidence than ever defensive tactics. Rather than glori- their trade in Africa. The real fairytales of the Ronaldinho or Henry and trying to that this dream is still alive. The tri- fying a scrappy victory in a poor The real space for fairy- game have always been those pro- recreate the goals they've seen. umph of Greece in the 2004 tournament, the attention should be tales though needs to be filled by vided by the best. While the FA Whether they grow up to have one European Championships is held turned to the underperformance of the game's greats. Too often today Cup is praised for its giant-killings, fleeting moment in the sun like aloft meanwhile that even at the the would-be stars. Greece's victo- it is popular to support a defensive is a nil-all draw on a terrible pitch Burton, or a lifetime wth very top, fairytales happen. This ry was not so much a fairytale as a underdog over an attacking power in Burton really a great advertise- Manchester United, if they only would be a wonderful case but default win. There is room for of world football. The game needs ment for the game? Likewise is have the example of the likes of often it is not true. While Burton fairytales in the world of football its great heroes however. How Millwall reaching the final a fairy- Greece they may never even try. Albion and Nuneaton Burrough and for the good of the game real many people have played on the tale? Wimbledon's success was Let's keep our fingers crossed for can proudly lay claim to well ones are needed. This summer's street and dreamed of playing for undoubtedly a fairytale but the more real fairytales. Ronaldinho: The one true icon of today’s game? Leinster and Munster Reach European Quarter-Finals In what was an incredible weekend Munster were visitors at Sale. The hard running and tough yard gain- do a great injustice to a terrifically Perpignan at home in a match they for Irish Rugby, Leinster and immense Frenchman looked totally ing of the big South African centre organised and clinical perform- will be favourites for, and though it Munster both secured places in the lost by the start of the second-half Trevor Halstead ance. That said, Munster played is far too soon to make any bold quarter-finals of the Heineken Cup, and his famous tackle-breaking Dowling went over for with immense pride and selfless claims about winning the competi- with impressive victories over charges were nowhere to be seen. his first European try after sus- commitment, and the atmosphere at tion outright, it is hard not to get English clubs Bath and Sale O’Connell’s hit on tained pressure inside Sale’s 22 Thomond Park made it the most excited about the prospect of the respectively. Chabal following a pinpoint was finished by great hands and a intense of sporting arenas. Heineken Cup finally finding a Munster’s 31 - 9 win at O’Gara restart was followed up by well-worked overlap out wide. Leinster’s impressive 35 place in the trophy cabinet at the Thomond Park was reminiscent of a huge Munster drive, resulting in Barry Murphy followed - 23 victory over Bath not only team’s headquarters in Musgrave in the ‘Miracle Win’ against Hodgson skewing his attempted this with his own first Heineken try guarenteed their own quarter-final Cork. After so many years of Gloucester in 2004, with the boys clearance. Munster crossed Sale’s after a dazzling run from halfway berth, but also ensured that heartache, no one deserves it like in red securing a vital bonus point line for the first time in the 12th that saw him skip past two tackles Munster got a home tie, and both Munster. through a David Wallace try in the minute, through Foley’s try from and outpace to team’s performances bode well for The question must now third minute of injury time. the back of a well worked maul at cross for Munster’s third, taking Ireland in this year’s Six Nations. be whether or not Eddie O’Sullivan It didn’t take long for the lineout. them into the break 24 - 9 ahead. Of particular note for can carry over the success of the Sale to lose their heads in the This forward dominance Munster spent much of Irish fans will have been Munster‘s provinces, with Ulster also per- imposing atmosphere at Thomond was a huge element in Munster’s the second half pushing hard for a immense forward effort and Brian forming well in Europe and at Park, and after the enormous victory, with the back row in partic- bonus point, whereas Sale seemed O’Driscoll’s dramatic return to home, and delivering some longed- Andrew Sherridan picked a fight ular putting in a huge effort to content to kick for corners and form (see overleaf), scoring a try for and international success. with , Ignacio counteract Sale’s impressive ruck- maintain a slender lead at the top of and setting up two more with some Fernandez Lobbe weighed in with ing. Wallace had his body in every Sebastien Chabal looks to break through, but finds Group A. Both teams defended excellent breaks. Contempomi ran an attempted punch on Jerry breakdown from the first to last Muntser give no quarter at Thomond hard and with sustained aggression, the backline with expert precision, Flannery that saw him spending ten minute, and it should be no surprise This set-piece dominance uncharacteristically cohesive in the but no side could resist the level of and Leinster, like Munster, did well minutes in the bin. O’Gara took that it was he who was there first to also extended to the lineouts, where backline, and each player from nine pressure exerted by Munster, and to absorb some enthusiastic and adavantage of the resulting penalty make the pick-and-go that pro- O’Connell and O’Callaghan helped to fifteen dominated his opposite their flawless set piece play physical play from their English to nudge Munster into an early duced the fourth try. Munster win all but one of their man from start to finish. Declan throughout the match eventually opponents. lead. The Munster pack also own throws, and where they also Kidney’s decision to pick on form led to Shaun Payne making the The victory further Sale, leaders of the stood up at scrum time, and while managed to disrupt a significant and reward impressive Celtic break for Wallace to score a great marred the weekend for English Guinness Premiership, were unable could never claim to amount of Sale’s possession. League performances from Ian try, securing the top spot in the clubs, as it ended Leeds Tykes’ to cope with the sustained physical- have got the better of opposite man So impressive was Dowling and Barry Murphy cer- Group. chances of making the quarter- ity of the passionate Munster side, Andrew Sherridan, he certainly Munster’s pack that George Hook tainly paid dividends, with the Munster have always finals. Leinster will now travel to and Sebastien Chabal in particular wasn’t obliterated by him, as many demanded after the game that youngsters providing much of been a team renowned for their Welford Road to face Leicester, was on the receiving end of some had suggested would be the case. O’Sullivan select seven of the eight Munster’s class outside O’Gara. impassioned performances and usually a thankless task, but they enormous hits from the likes of Indeed, the scrum always looked in Ireland’s starting line-up, scon- Dowling outplayed England first- Thomond Park has been the stage can take heart from Munster’s vic- Dennis Leamy, Paul O’Connell and like a solid platform for Munster, ceding that Easterby would get the choice wing Mark Cueto, who was for some incredible victories, but to tory there in similar circumstances even Ronan O’Gara, after his and Sale rarely managed to get a nod over Antony Foley. never allowed to settle, and both put this remarkable victory down to three years ago. match-winning performance when nudge on. Munster were also men acted as brilliant foils to the nothing but adrenaline would be to Munster will face Sports Editor: Peter Henry Tuesday January 24, 2006 27 Trinity News SPORT Playing College hockey Short Sport should be second nature Report Too many talented hockey players coming to Trinity are opting not to join the College’s Ladies’ Hockey Club. Adrienne Da Costa looks at this disappointing trend and suggests some solutions. As a former Trinity player is named XI now hold one of their two week- Pugilists beaten in as the new captain of the Irish ly sessions at Alexandra College in ladies’ hockey team, one wonders Milltown. This allows for a more when representing Trinity stopped structured programme and cuts by Cambridge match being an honour and started half the journey time required to DU Amateur Boxing Club trav- in exhibition matches. becoming a chore. It’s a question the home pitch in Santry. It is elled to Cambridge for their annu- Unfortunately the bouts, which posed frequently by members of hoped that the continuation of this al match last Friday. There were took place in the Cambridge DU Ladies’ Hockey Club. An arrangement will bring back some Trinity wins for Club Captain Union, went 5-3 to Cambridge. increasing number of students of the College’s stronger players. Eoin Sheridan (light heavy- Club members were entertained coming up to Trinity are opting to Nevertheless, College weight), James Annett (mid- by their hosts, Cambridge stay at their old club, or (worse hockey doesn’t come without its dleweight) and Edward University Amateur Boxing Club, still) joining another club to which rewards. Aside from their Leinster Montgomery (lightweight). Pat for the weekend. they had no previous allegiance. league and Cup commitments, Wheen and Lois James took part Trinity’s Ladies’ Hockey Trinity players take part in the Club fields five teams in their annual Intervarsity and Colours respective Leinster leagues each tournaments. These events are Irish College League week. The first XI play in division regarded as highlights of the sport- one, the highest possible club level ing calendar in any College club; in competition. This is their first sea- the Ladies’ Hockey Club in partic- basketball in Luce son back at the top, having been ular, participation is seen as a Sixteen teams played in the Irish to Cork Institute of Technology. relegated to division two in 2004. reward in itself. On more than one College League semi-finals and Trinity got the first basket in this This relegation prompted the occasion, those players involved in finals in Luce Hall between Friday game but CIT took the lead and departure of one then Ulster under- other clubs have asked that they be 16th and Sunday 18th December with a slow start by Trinity, CIT 21 and two Leinster under-21 inter- considered for the teams fielded for last. were winning by fifteen points at provincial players, one of whom these competitions. This was prac- Despite a bad start in the the end of the first quarter. Great left behind a four-year sports schol- ticed by Queen’s University at this women's division one semi-final shooting from Cedric Assambo arship. year’s intervarsity competition: against the kept Trinity in the game in the sec- No one would deny that they included in their team – which on the Friday, Trinity came back ond quarter but at half time the the current season so far is proving lost to UCD in the final – two in the second and third quarters Trinity were losing by fourteen to be a challenge, but it is one to members of the Irish development with great scores from Irene points. which the players are rising. squad who play for a top Ulster Hobin. UL kept the lead however Trinity came back Trinity’s position in the bottom half club. Both Plate winners Trinity and Trinity never regained the strong with John Behan and Donal of the league may, in some eyes, and champions UCD disregard this The first XI’s top goal-scorer, Louisa Johnston (left), who returned to the College points difference from the start of Lynch shooting twenty-one points render it second class to the likes of practise: members of the regular club after staying with Glennane last season Photo: Adrienne Da Costa the match. Trinity were only a half between them in the third quarter. European champions Hermes and team should not have to give up bench due to many injury prob- At one stage they came within Leinster champions Loreto. their place to players who cite their while studying Computer Science stood out at Hermes the way I did “Players sometimes make excuses. lems. Great defense was played three points of Cork. DU got into However, along with UCD, these own aspirations to make represen- at Trinity, from which she graduat- at Trinity. Playing for Trinity meant They have the rest of their lives to but this was not enough to over- foul trouble at the end of the high two clubs are the only ones out of tative teams as reason not to play ed in 2003. Mitchell continues to I had to work harder to play as well play club hockey. You make those come the strong Limerick side. scoring game with Kao, with the top seven not to be composed College hockey. be a great advocate of the college as the girls from the top clubs, and teams on your own merit; your club Ten points was the difference at Behan and Mac a'Bháird all of players qualifying to play for The College also merits game, as does her Hermes team- the coaches in Leinster saw my isn’t important”. the end of the game, the final fouled off. CIT scored nine free Trinity. These statistics surely individual successes. As a member mate, newly appointed Irish cap- motivation”. The Irish midfielder To play or not to play for score being 60-50. UL went on to throws as a result of team fouls. speak for themselves. of the Leinster under-21 side which tain Linda Caulfield, who played has in the past played under the Trinity – it is undoubtedly a deci- beat Dublin City University in the This brought this fast paced game Amongst the Trinity stu- won the recent Interprovincial with Trinity during all four of her Trinity’s current first XI coach sion that some players agonise final on the Sunday. to a stagnant end. The final score dents playing for other Leinster competition, Rebecca Murphy has college years, graduating in 2001. Harold de Jong: “Harold is a real over, and an opportunity which is In the men's division was 108-95. clubs there is currently one Irish earned herself a sports bursary, as Caulfield was capped character, and he really gets the job later regretted by those who do not one final on Sunday, DU lost out development squad member and has Irish Universities representa- some forty-five times for Ireland done”. She also praises the vast seize it. One such player, Louisa Connaught senior interprovincial tive and first XI captain Cecelia while she was still a Trinity stu- experience of assistant coach Johnston, came to College club this player, one Ulster senior inter- Joyce, thus proving that college dent, earning her first at the age of Mandy Holwey, who last year year having chosen to stay at divi- Rifle Club’s novice provincial champion, and two level hockey isn’t without talent, nineteen. She has gone on to played an instrumental role in sion two club Glenanne last season. Leinster under-21 interprovincial and that honours are not only become Irish hockey’s most experi- securing promotion to the top Johnston, who is currently the first champions. dished out to players in the top enced female player, currently with flight. Overall Caulfield states that XI’s league and intervarsity top event underway The question is clubs. In fact, Joyce, along with one-hundred-and-seventeen caps to it was because she enjoyed her scorer, regards her decision to play DU Rifle Club are current running tition is thus named in honour of inevitable: how well would Trinity reserve members Murphy and her name, and at only twenty-six is hockey that she improved her for her college as having enriched an ongoing novice shooting com- its founder. fare with the services of some of Laoise Coady, have with the the youngest ever to have reached game. “There’s such a strong team her college experience: “Going to petition, taking place every The John Keeney cup is these athletes? That is not to dis- Universities team been given the such a figure. Although modest spirit because you’re all in the college and playing hockey are Wednesday at the Club’s facility a great opportunity for complete credit the recovery from the relega- chance to combine a very high about her recent appointment, same boat. Looking forward to both fun on their own, but choosing on campus. The John Keeney beginners to compete tion of 2004, which has been such standard of hockey with a lot of Caulfield strongly emphasises its things like Colours and to combine the two is a decision I Novice Cup is an internal shooting informally whilst having fun: put- that the first XI already find them- fun. It is an opportunity which significance for Trinity hockey: “It Intervarsities brought us all closer should have made a year earlier, competition for complete novices. ting off your opponent, cracking selves in a more healthy position could easily be seized by the non- just shows that if you’re a good together. College hockey is so spe- and it’s one I’ll never regret”. The competition was the brain- jokes at the range officers, and of than on their previous outing in the Trinity players should they choose enough player, it doesn’t matter cial; it’s only four years of your life In Trinity hockey every child of Club legend John Keeney, course, attempting to hit the tar- first division. to first play for their College. what club you play for.” and it’s the only chance you get. success gained is one you share currently working in research here get. Many of the players who Currently a member of During her time with You leave with friends for life”. with not only your team mates, but in Trinity. It began as a private DU Rifle Club is cur- haven’t made the move to the the Irish development squad and Trinity, Caulfield contemplated a She doesn’t understand the mental- your college mates, and to do so challenge between two shooters rently the leader in the Celtic College club have commented that the Hermes side that won the 2005 move to her current club Hermes, ity of those who choose to stay appears to be that little bit extra- one Wednesday night at the range, League rifle competition. This the state of the Club’s facilities has European Cup, former DU Ladies’ but felt that representing her col- with another club in the hope that it special. Playing College hockey with the idea eventually being competition pits Trinity shooters discouraged them. In fact, to facili- Hockey Club player Aoife Mitchell lege would give her more of a might increase their chance of must now return to being second endorsed as an official internal against those from Cardiff and tate coaching, the first and second first earned her under-21 caps chance to shine: “I wouldn’t have achieving interprovincial honours: nature. DURC competition. The compe- Aberdeen Universities. 100 years ago in College sport Boat Club it must be said the opposition suf- Association Football us, and we had to travel with sever- fered more from the absence of al substitutes in our ranks. Still, we For the past three weeks rowing some of their regular players than The last few weeks have not been were very successful, and won all has been going on, more or less did our men. The two matches are productive of much football, our games comfortably enough. intermittently, at Island Bridge. amongst the most important of our chiefly on account of the number of The team played very well indeed, Now, however, that Term has com- Dublin fixtures, so it augurs well dates which have been closed, as and great credit is due to the substi- menced, and nearly everyone is in for our chances in the Cup matches far as the League is concerned, for tutes, all of whom laid foundations, residence, we hope that new mem- that we were successful in both. All Leinster Cup matches and the Inter- on which we hope to see them build bers will attend regularly; for it is the same, the form shown by both Provincial. But it is always difficult great reputations. only by constant practise that the forwards and back left much room to get the team together after the We are now in the midst difficulties of the “sliding seat” can for improvement, which, we are Vacation. However, as the Term has of Cup ties. We met and defeated be overcome. sure, will be evident at that time. now started, it is to be hoped that Dundrum, in the first round, by one The junior members, too, The second XV are head members will turn out in greater goal to nil. The game was played in have been conspicuous by their of their division of the Junior numbers. the Park, and that fact made combi- absence, and it would be well to League, and, barring accidents, Last Saturday the second nation impossible amongst the for- remind them, that a season’s row- ought to retain their position till the XI played Swifts, in the College wards; otherwise it is probable we ing does not qualify them to shirk end of the season. Still, there is a Park, and were defeated, although should have scored a more decisive attendance during winter months. slackness about some of the mem- they beat the same team earlier in victory, although the defence of our The art of oarsmanship is not learnt bers, which is quite unusual in the the season. There was little or no opponents was very sound. For in a few months, or even a year; Club. They declare off for some combination, and nearly everyone Trinity, Carey played a fine game at and there is every probability that trivial excuse, and even then gener- displayed a lack of training. The back, while Bridge was also good. they will have to look to their lau- ally at the last moment, when it is forwards were all too selfish, and Today we play Three rels in the coming season. often impossible to get the best when they did pass it was erratical- Rock Rovers in the second round substitute available. The same ly. Of the defence, Nichols played of the Cup. For this match the fol- Rugby Football remark applies, to some extent hard, but is inclined to miss his lowing have been selected, and also, to the lower XVs, who, all the kick. Byrne was very weak in goal. given their colours for 1905-06: Since our last notes appeared the same, have put up some phenome- Goal: JG Moloney; Full- Club has had an uninterrupted nal score in their recent matches. Hockey Club backs: GH McCormick, *TA series of victories, none of the It is many years since the Carey; Half-backs: CG Sherlock, teams having to acknowledge captain of the Football Club has not Since the last account of our doings DL Robinson, *EWG Young; defeat. Club matches have had to gained his Irish cap, and we con- appeared in these pages many Forwards: WH Napper, DLC In Black and White: DU Boat Club Junior eight in 1906. The crew, “conspicuous by take second place to the gratulate Casement on keeping up things have happened. As me made Dunlop (capt), TS Dagg, RCS International trial matches, but still, this splendid record. Parke, Thrift, our adieu last Term, we were Gregg, TW Bridge. (*New their absence” early in the year, went on to win Boyne, University, Limerick and since Christmas, the first XV has and Caddell have again added expecting a visit from Edinburgh Colours) Waterford Regattas. Photo: DU Boat Club defeated in turn Bective, another date to the caps, and, we University. They came, but we con- Trinity was well repre- Lansdowne and Monkstown – the are sure, will today add to their quered, after a pleasant game in sented in the Inter-Provincial ulations. most gratifying sight should they of Junior Sophisters, and one of first pretty easily, and the two latter own reputations and that of their unpleasant weather. We hope the matches – Dunlop, Dagg, Gregg, In the Junior Cup, the meet the second XI in the final Senior and Junior Freshmen com- after hard games. Against University. The Club was well rep- fixture with the Scottish University Bridge, Robinson, McCormick, second XI beat Malahide, while the round. bined. Lansdowne the backs had chief resented in the Inter-Provincial will become an annual one. Molony, all took part in the games, Third established a record by win- We hope to have a inter- credit for our rather narrow victory, matches, no fewer than twelve A few days after this while International honours have ning their tie with Athy, this being year competition this Term. Five but against Monkstown best work members taking part in one or other match Trinity went on tour to only been awarded to DL the first time a third team has won teams are to play. Two of Extracts taken from TCD: A was done by our forwards, though of these games. Belfast. Various difficulties beset Robinson. To all of these, congrat- a round in the Cup. It would be a Bachelors, one of Senior, and one College Miscellany, No 199 (1906) Cover Story TNT How Much is Really We’re constantly being told that we’re drinking too much, but how true is it? Christine Bohan spent a night in the Pav and the Buttery (purely for research purposes) to find out

t’s 8.30pm on a Friday night at the chairs have already been packed up for does seem to be a lot of cans on each dents making appointments for alcohol- I Pav, and the place is so packed that the evening. The CD player doesn’t table in both the Buttery and the Pav, related reasons. “Over the past 5-10 it’s physically impossible to get in kick in until about ten past 9, so until but then there’s a lot of people sitting at years there’s been an increase in the the door. There are a hundred or so peo- then it’s possible to overhear a lot of the each table. number of injuries related to alcohol, ple standing around outside it, despite conversations going on. It’s mainly But this doesn’t tally with what cases of unprotected sex and both self the cold weather, and everyone seems to small groups of about 2-3, crouched we know about our attitudes to drink- and assisted referrals for problem drink- be having a good time. Some of the over the black tables with a few cans of ing. The College Lifestyle and ing” explains Dr. Thomas. “One major boys from the Phil are talking animated- Tuborg each. Attitudinal National (CLAN) survey concern would be that approximately ly at a table with so many beer cans on found that 61% of male students and 15% of significant binge drinkers would it that it’s almost impossible to make “You are SUCH a liar! 41% of female students binge drink at go on to have serious long-term alcohol out the table underneath. Two boys are You’re so hammered least once a week. Even taking that the problems” sitting on the steps loudly rating every already! Oh my God, you definition of binge drinking (at least Anecdotal evidence from the girl who walks by out of 10 (“Ah come four pints of beer or four measures of Buttery and the Pav shows just how on, 8 is a bit generous, her arse is mas- are the least sober of ALL spirits or equivalent, in one session) unhealthy our attitude to alcohol is. sive”). A couple of skeletal girls are of us!” Cue a lot of drunken seems low enough to incriminate an A table of four boys and two knocking back their Malibu and Cokes laughing from the girls awful lot of us, that’s still a high num- girls in the Pav are happy to talk about whilst talking loudly about how there’s ber. Dr. David Thomas, the head of the the amount they’re drinking tonight. not enough hot guys on their course. This isn’t the picture of student College Health Service is concerned at One of the boys had snuck in cans of About half the people are dressed casu- drinking that we see splashed all over the amount that students are drinking: Tuborg from Centra: “It was better ally, having hung around college since the media constantly, that we’re warned “The epidemic we’re seeing is not nec- value really. It’s two for €3 here [in the their lectures finished this afternoon, about by health professionals, that con- essarily an increase in the number of Pav] but you get 6 for €7 in Centra so whilst the rest are a bit more dressed up cerned parents ask us about. There’s no students experimenting with binge it works out better. Guess it means you to go on somewhere later, probably the fights, no puking, no girls crying after a drinking but instead an increase in the have to drink more but I probably Palace. few too many drinks. No-one is falling number of drinks being consumed per would have done that anyway”. Two of It’s a similar story in the over themselves or taking a discreet session”. them are celebrating doing an exam Buttery, half an hour later, except with slash in the bushes by the Pav. In fact it The College Service has seen a today. “I did shit, none of the stuff I less people. About half of the tables and all looks remarkably civilised. There marked increase in the number of stu- studied came up so I just want to forget about it” says one, on his fifth pint of the evening. A lot of the third year History class are in the Pav and they’re also cel- ebrating doing an exam today. I’m talk- ing to one of them when her friend comes over to see what I’m writing down. The friend is clearly drunk. She holds on to the railings beside us but still sways slightly as she talks. She can’t focus. I tell her the article is about student drinking patterns, and she gives me her two cents: “Yeah... [long pause]... yeah it’s such a problem. All these kids hammered, it’s like... it’s a problem, all the alcohol they’re drink- ing isn’t good...”. A bunch of girls who look like models are going on to the Palace after the Pav. “Yeah we’re not drinking that much tonight, going to stay sober and -” “You are SUCH a liar! You’re so ham- mered already! Oh my God, you are the least sober of ALL of us!”. Cue a lot of laughing from the girls. It’s all a lot calmer in the Buttery. There’s a couple of boys dis- cussing politics in the corner. From casual eavesdropping it’s hard to tell whether they’re hammered or if they’re usually this hard to understand, as their conversation jumps from topic to topic. Alcohol and essay writing is always a bad combination A girl at one of the tables tells TNT Cover Story / Sex Column 3 Too Much? The Sex Column

Sorcha Lyons questions whether or not three’s a crowd

“In my experience, Irish men, in a com- cranking the sex up a notch and inviting mitted relationship, do not want a three- the hot girl from across the bar in for a some.” bit of fun, the men hesitate. Oftentimes, I made this statement one the girlfriend will just seductively sug- evening and it has got me into a lot of gest it to turn her beau on… but the trouble with a lot of Irish men I know. more seriously it is suggested, the more They have all denied it, slagged it and uncomfortable he appears. Despite the have been unable to let it go… “AAHH, bravado and the macho boastings about look at the size of that spider, that’s their cock, when it comes to the crunch, almost as terrifying as my other fear… a Irish men are not up for some three in threesome.” Cue raucous laughter. the bed action. Why is this I wonder? However, my comment did not come out As with most phenomena, there of nowhere and the more they berate it, are a number of reasons: fear of inepti- the more defiantly I feel I must defend it. tude, insecurity, and emotional reasons. It is common knowledge that Men love the threesome fantasy. The key the “ménage a trois” is the fantasy of word is ‘fantasy’; if you took this and choice amongst most young men in this made it a reality, it is likely that the mys- world. Two beautiful soft delectable tery, the danger and the naughtiness females pouring all their attention over would be removed- it never could be as one lucky guy, kissing and sucking, lick- good as each man’s specific fantasy. ing and teasing and making one man the Especially when faced with the reality of centre of their world for at least an hour the threesome- awkward slipping or two. around, jealousy and the aftermath. They have to deal with their own emotions Despite the bravado and and those of their partners- they have to boastings, Irish men are not take a good long look at their relation- up for some threesome ship and wonder if this sex act is a sign Cigarettes and alcohol action of unity or a sign of weakness. Is it a positive sign that they can embrace the me about how strict the barmen in the the Buttery is for a drink with your I wonder where this fantasy intrusion of another partner or is the fact Buttery are about serving people who mates”, one boy in the Buttery tells me. comes from; the aspiration to be served that they felt the need for a third a nega- are clearly drunk: “One time, they Despite all the drinking that and worshipped or simply the love of the tive sign. The latter idea comes laden refused to serve this girl that I know went on tonight, it doesn’t hold true for female form? When quizzed, some male with feelings of sexual and emotional cos she was hammered, so she asked all students. A lot drink sensibly. A lot friends of mine confessed that they’re inadequacy and can further exacerbate a me to buy a couple of drinks for her. I don’t even drink at all. Current SU into the three-way for lots of different hostile relationship. So women, if you did, but the barman figured it out President John Mannion is one of them, reasons. One talked about the sexual want to give your man exactly what he somehow and followed me back to her as is Ents Officer Niall Hughes (despite power that he would have when two wants in order to save or improve your table and told me I couldn’t give her his rather misleading election campaign women are completely concentrated on relationship, a threesome is definitely the drinks. It was pretty unfair but I slogan ‘Hughes for Booze’). The him. Another said the opposite, how the not the way to go. guess he was just doing his job”. College Alcohol Policy has seen a big hottest thing for him would be the fact The threesome is the food of One boy I talk to is driving change in the promotion and giving out that he would be over-powered by two young, single people on holidays- it con- tonight but is annoyed at the price of of free alcohol by societies. predators- two hot females who want jures up ideas of three people who don’t soft drinks in the Buttery: “It’s crap, a The biggest problem in chang- their wicked way with him and won’t know each other very well having spon- pint of soft drinks is almost the same ing our attitude to drink is that whilst stop until they are sweating, breathless taneous fun and enjoying themselves- price as a pint of beer. It’s not much of everyone agrees that there’s a problem and completely satisfied. There are other they only have to think of themselves an incentive not to drink for f***’s in our attitude to alcohol, no-one thinks aspects that really turn people on- the and their own pleasure. They are not sake. It’s the same everywhere, you that they personally have a problem voyeuristic idea of being with two other constrained within a relationship. They think they’d bring the prices down a with the way that they drink. That’s people as they have sex and totally let are also not influenced by love and jeal- bit”. why when it’s written about in the themselves go. ousy. The Buttery isn’t as crazy as media it sounds so puritanical, so out As a young Irish woman, grow- In all, threesomes are a good the Pav was. Most people are just here of touch, so unfun. Whilst getting ing up in the ever increasingly cosmo- laugh provided they occur outside rela- for a quiet drink on a Friday evening, drunk isn’t the worst thing in the politan world of Dublin city, my friends tionships and are safe and wet and hot. rather than planning to go out world, a new approach is needed to and I are developing and exploring our Within the relationship, it’s a different somwhere afterwards. There’s none of convince us of the dangers and prob- sexualities. We’ve collectively discov- story. All you people, who read this and the flirting, the shouting, the messing lems involved with binge drinking - ered that although it is undoubtedly a disagree*, just wait until you are in love around that there was in the Pav. “The judging by tonight, the message simply turn-on for most Irish men to watch and have met that special someone… Pav is more for pissheads on the pull, isn’t getting through. some lucky man pump into two buxom you too will never want to share. American bombshells on the television, Photographs (including cover photo) by Richeal it seems that Irish men are not partial to *That goes for you, in the rugby shirt, a slice of the real girlie sandwich. As scratching your balls. Carroll and Cian Kennedy soon as their girlfriend actually suggests 4 Feature TNT How to Get Ahead in Whether it’s getting wet with the Boat Club or tempting the boys from Sci-Fi out of their den, Chloe Sanderson presents the definitive guide to scoring in college or years historians have all the way round the Fresher’s that I undertook the following much hard work there’s always argued over how it came Fair and here I was wallowing in social experiment, surrendered my one of the more sedentary societies F into being, politicians muse alcoholic abandon with a large money, joined so many of these to take your dating fancy. I decid- over how it should be gov- number of slightly bronzed, long guilds purely for your information ed to try out the second largest erned, it can be in, out, good, bad, haired, bearded gentlemen with a and delectation, an insider’s look society around: The Phil. If you and it appears that Oscar Wilde fetish for neoprene rubber, ready to for the outside world so to speak. can ignore the vaguely venereal wrote all his plays about it; but as ride the wave of beautiful men that The answer all boils down to this: disease sounding title, this option the tenth shot of slightly suspicious I’m happy to say make up a large Trinity is life, life is a scary place, does have its advantages. They Lidl-acquired liquor slipped down proportion of the Trinity Surf plaice is a type of fish, and in truth come with their own rather large my throat, I couldn’t help but won- Club. this writer had a little fishing to do semi-detached property, a pen- der was it really going to get me herself. What I needed to know chant for providing copious free lucky? Sci-Fi will probably be glad was which society produced the drinkage, and the likelihood of Societies are, it seems, the to see you even if you look best catch? With any luck by the meeting at least one z-list celebri- lynchpin of Trinity Life. Of course like the bride of end of this article we may have a ty. Just be warned that should you you can go through your four years Chewbacca... definitive answer. choose this option, past experience avoiding them avidly, and find sol- The important thing you shows that they may not be quite ace in matching Adam Chemistry may find in the rocky road of soci- as big as their boots suggest, and to Eve biochemistry, eventually On waking with an unusu- ety dating is that each society has 99% of the action you’ll be getting settling down with that special ally horrific sense of how much I its points of beauty, be it male or will be postering. someone who caught your eye drank last night, the reality hit, I, female, but attached to each one Ever the fearless reporter across a crowded lecture hall (or Chloe Patricia Abigail, Ingle comes the necessity of complying my research has even taken me sussed how drunk you were and Sanderson (an absurdity of a with a few society rules. For exam- into alien territory. The Sci-Fi soci- used the advantage as you slid name), had entered a society. And ple should you be afraid of getting ety, resting at the top of House Six, down the walls at Slapper Face as I scrabbled over a carpet of wet it’s probably best to avoid the proved to have a pleasing male to Jacks). But if you hope to ever ton- newly printed cards, half chewed Boat Club -luckily for me the female ratio. That means they’ll sil tango with someone outside lollypops, and free condoms, only thought of getting wet under the probably be glad to see you even if your course, societies are where to discover that my wallet had careful instruction of eight men you look a little like the bride of it’s at. The big question is howev- been robbed of all its cosy warmth had a certain appeal. The Boat Chewbacca. Plus, being fans of the er, which society holds the richest of shrapnel, it occurred to me that Club provides Trinity with the obligatory Pav Friday when bored pickings for a not-too-self-respect- I may have entered just a few more pleasure of boys and girls with of The Endevour (Oh dear Lord a ing Trinity singleton? than one. I’d like to pretend that as toned bodies, great stamina, and sci-fi joke, I’ve been invaded!), This question led me all the my alcoholic haze slowly lifted I every term or so, the Rowing you can always move on from one way to finding myself washing remembered running joyfully into Massacre, a night that sacrifices of the Sci-Fi guys to the Palace’s away my last semblance of dignity, the outstretched arms of each of their fresh healthy livers, and blurs hoards of little Green Men. and fighting with a bunch of com- those little stalls because deep their vision just enough to allow us Then there’s the cluster of plete strangers for the last dregs of down I wanted to expand my hori- lesser post Christmas mortals a societies which are really just an beverages that look like they had zon to a plethora of new enriching chance of taking home one of extension of some dusty faculty or been constructed by an ADHD life skills. those stripy little blazers. other. The Eurostuds have some chemistry student on acid. I had Perhaps instead I Of course if an action man, moderately lively parties which followed the yellow brick cobbles could convince you, dear reader, or woman, sounds like a little too aren’t too difficult to crash, and

Rich pickings in the Boat Club, Sci-Fi (picture not necessarily an accurate portrayal), Players and Music Soc TNT Feature / Fresher Column 5 Societies The

although it has been said that something pretty to look at is Fresher French is the language of love, surely the Trinity Fashion Show. take time to honour the Germans, Probably best avoided if you find after all they ‘liebe dick’, height intimidating, this collec- Column brochvurst, David Hasslehoff, tion of coathangers won’t cost and they’re very VERY efficient. you too much in dinner dates and If we’ll admit to it we’ve should you ever find yourself Jason Robinson has a novel way to all at some point or other in our accosted by the Gardaí after a few impress the person you fancy in college sordid little lives imagined that too many Bavarias then these that little gyrating voice box of beauties will perform the art of So after the much needed break, it's back other words of wisdom. lyrical love coming at you straight line walking long enough to college again. Just when college work So waffling about my trip HAS through the romantic pixels of for you to scarper quicker than was fading into the back of most stu- been beneficial...I think...Moving on... dents minds, it all comes flooding back Last issue, I made a few wee comments MTV are in fact not merely they can shout Pete Doherty. again. Exams. Essays. Tutorial Work. about BESS girls. It seems however, that singing for their 50Cent supper, Sadly this article can’t And blah. And blah. And blah. all BESS girls have taken offence by but singing a love song written offer you a comprehensive survey But hey, it ain't all bad, and I these- rightly so, you thick gits. Nah exclusively for you. Enter the of all the societies CSC has to don't think we can really complain. First ONLY JOKING. I REALLY like Bess Music Society, a litany of lyrical offer, after all no one wants to be up,however, I must apologise. For every- girls. No seriously, I really do... body out there who does read this col- So, this issue I hoped to have a lovelies that could pluck at your a society whore. However should umn, I really did want to have some wee report about a visit to Starbucks - heart strings or at the very least the bevy of beauties I’ve listed cringeworthy stories about my Christmas you know that strangely appealing look- offer a quick fiddle. not take your fancy there’s a full to share with you all. Grandparents ing building about a minute away from On the artist theme, list at: www.csc.tcd.ie from which buying me big woolly cardigans; Trinity? Appealing BUT deadly, so I Players offer the chance at a truly to take your pick. Plus, as we all GranAunts harassing me and stuff of hear. But, due to being some thousands that nature. But unfortunately, everything of miles away, it was not feasible. I also exclusive relationship; pop up to like to get a little out and breath went down well in the Robinson hoped to have my concept of the studio, they’ll offer you a cup and sweaty from time to time the household this Christmas. No interfamily "Ecumenical Deathmatch" brought out of tea, take your soul, and spit 50 or so sports clubs DUCAC has murders this year. No maiming of the into the open, which I suppose I can do. you out at the end of four years to offer means you can put away family's black sheep. No sacrificial ritu- Basically, like many Freshers, thinking you’re happier being the Barry White and get straight als. Andto make things worse, I had a I've heard rumours of a strange Trinity good New Year aswell. Instead of College rule whereby a Protestant can someone else. Plus for my male to the good stuff. Now due to the lounging around putting off essays and challenge a Catholic in a duel in Front readership there’s the added dan- fact that I spent more of my child- the like, I decided to join my half-Kiwi Square. Now, details are sketchy, but ger that you might start to think hood looking like a ball than friend on a short trip to the far-off land over the next month, I will try find out tights and makeup are acceptable playing with one – it’s a vicious of New Zealand. Most of you, I'm more. Personally, I think the possibilities in the name of art, though I sup- circle that ends with cake – I sure, will remember the New Year pass- are endless. American commentators ing through in a blur of drunkeness. I going crazy. Cheerleaders. Maces. pose it could be worse - after all couldn’t tell you much about their however, was in transit to New Zealand. Tridents. Chainsaws? RTE could really the Caledonian Soc boys like individual merits. Trust an Irish person to be somewhat make a pretty penny out of it. Think wearing skirts, and the Visual Art What I do know is sad at missing out on New Years drunk- about it- There's a guy/girl you don't Soc spend a whole heap of time whether it’s the dregs of or high en revelry while travelling half-way like- you don't quite know why. perving on people who wear society you’re after, in the ques- across the world... Suddenly, you find out they are a differ- Last issue I made a few com- ent religion to you- BAM! Challenge nothing at all. tion of boy meets girl, in the end them in the greatest battle of all- "ECU- Lastly, although not offi- only you can decide which socie- ments about BESS girls, and MENICAL DEATHMATCH." Bad taste? cially a society the safest bet for ty rules. it seems that some have Maybe. Good idea? Most definitely. The taken offence. And rightly campaign for more fatally violent sports so... in college, and indeed our society, starts now... So, two and a half weeks of Anyway, to round off another friendly New Zealanders, racial stereo- poor attempt at humouring Trinity stu- types ("Oh you're Irish? To be sure, to be dents, just have to say I've sold out and sure. Be-gosh and be-gara"), a never become a true Trinner student. It was the ending amount of McDonald's, empty penultimate day of the Library opening Irish bars and most importantly, Japanese times before Christmas. It was five camera-wielding tourists. In all serious- minutes to 5. The desk wouldn't take my ness, how do they do it-they're EVERY- book. I was going to leave it back, but WHERE!?Ahem. I love the Japanese. due to peer pressure(the cause of all But seriously, if any of you are societies problems) from an older thinking of heading off far from Ireland student(how could I not be influenced?!), this summer, New Zealand really has I hid the book in a different shelf lots to offer. Personally, being a bit of a to collect the following day. I'm sorry. pansy, I only partook in a bit of wake- I'm a bad person and deserve whatever boarding, kayaking, trekking and so on, is coming to me. I'm now going to but for the more adventurous, you can do drown my sorrows and hold my head in stuff like Zorbing(being rolled around in shame whenever I enter the library. It's a giant sphere!), bungy jumping, sky only fair. Anyway. On that note, I will Surf Club: “Bronzed, long-haired gentlment with a fetish for rubber...” diving and all that jazz. So hey, take a bid you all adieu. Welcome back, every- trip there if you can. Carpe Diem and one! 6 Interview TNT Breakfast with Cillian TNT’s Cillian O’Conchúir talks to Cillian Murphy about dropping out of college to act, his favourite co-stars and being nominated for a Golden Globe for ‘Breakfast on Pluto’

The year just gone by saw the emergence ence. “After going to see a couple of the- of Cillian Murphy onto the summit of the atre shows in Cork, I found them quite Hollywood scene, as he starred in two of appealing and wanted to pursue acting. the year’s blockbusters. He first attempt- My family thought I was an ejit and ed to destroy the world as Dr. Jonathan thought it was all going to fall apart. I Crane (Scarecrow) in Christopher went and I knocked on the door of a the- Nolan’s, Batman Begins Then he played atre company in Cork and they gave me the villainous Jackson Rippner in Wes a job in Disco Pigs.” Craven’s thriller, Red Eye, the film which In 1997, Quando saw Cillian many believed the best thing about it was appear on the big screen for the first time the performance of Cillian Murphy and that of Rachel McAdams. “If I’d stayed studing An almost childlike enthusiasm is evident as he talks about his co-stars in law I’d probably be Batman Begins. “I’m a big fan of wealthier but pretty Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. I got to meet them and they were cool. miserable doing it” Let’s put it this way; you get to meet leg- ends like that.” The film also saw his and it was an opportunity he didn’t let first role as a villain. “It was something slip. “I had seen Cillian in the original that I had never done before. It had real- production of Disco Pigs by Corcadorca ly good directors and a really good in Cork,” says Declan Recks, director of script, so I thought I’d give it a go”. His Quando. “He was outstanding in that role has contributed to one of the most production and from the moment he ran asked questions, about his fear of being onto the stage everyone knew he was typecast as a villain, something he has no someone to watch out for.” concerns about “I have made ten feature By all accounts Cillian made the films and I have only been the bad guy stage his own but many have tried to in two that just happened to come out make the step from theatre to film and one after the other.” failed. “My only concern at the time,” A native of Douglas, Co. Cork, continues Declan Recks, “was whether he was a late starter on the acting scene. or not he could rein in the huge energy He started out as a guitarist in a Frank that was evident on stage. But he was Zappa inspired band called ‘Sons of Mr. incredibly focused and learnt very quick- Greengenes,’ and studied law in ly how to tailor his talents to the camera. University College Cork before embark- It was a small part for him but anyone ing on a journey which led him to a who saw the film couldn’t but notice his Golden Globe nomination. very obvious screen presence.” He made his television debut in the BBC mini-series, The Way We Live “Fame is all over Now but it was as Jim in 28 Days Later rated. I’m just doing (2003) that Cillian was launched onto the Cillian Murphy, the best thing to come out of Cork since... er... world cinema stage, which he followed a job and this is part this up with a leading role in The Girl ou don’t make movies to get big screen. “It was challenging in that I with a Pearl Earring, alongside awards! You make movies to had to play a man who wanted to be a of it” Hollywood’s golde Scarlet Johansson “Y make good movies,” states girl, who was still a boy, who doesn’t and Colin Firth. Cillian Murphy, commenting on have a dad. He had to grow up and want- He once said: “I’d probably He is slow to mention any the recognition he’s received since being ed to love. It is a very complicated part have been wealthier if I had stayed with names in relation to preferred co-stars. nominated for a Golden Globe for and a part that I fell in love with a lot law, but pretty miserable doing it.” So “I’m not going to say I prefer some to Breakfast on Pluto, alongside Johnny and I have a lot of affection for the char- how close did he come to choosing a life others. It would belittle the others. Depp, Pierce Brosnan and the eventual acter.” of misery over what he humbly describes Brendan Gleeson is a special favourite of winner Joaquin Phoenix. “I was thrilled It is often said that the Golden now as a ‘privileged position?’ “Well I mine. He is a bit of a hero of mine and to be nominated. I put my heart and soul Globes are an indicator for the Oscars, so did it for a year and a half, but I failed he has been very good to me all the way into Breakfast on Pluto and worked very what does he make of this talk? “I say my first year. Then I passed the exam through my career. Liam Neeson as well. hard. I believe very much in the film and that’s fair enough. It’s too foolish to and then I ditched it. I always felt that I All these guys have been very important I love the character.” dwell on things that you have no control could go back and continue if I wanted to me and very supportive. I have met so ‘Breakfast on Pluto’ opened in over. All I can do is believe in the film to, but it just wasn’t the right course for many interesting and fascinating people cinemas on January 13th and Cillian and the part that I have played. If they me.” doing films and theatre that I could never found he had a challenge in bringing the decide to nominate me I think that’s He might not have been where choose one above any of the rest of character of Kitten, a transsexual, to the great but I have my life to live.” he is today if were not for his persist- them.” TNT Interview / Our Man Abroad 7 Our Murphy Man While some actors make no Barry and the Civil War. I think it will be secret of their extravagant lifestyle, quite controversial and should raise a Cillian seems to have his two feet firmly few hackles in Cork. It has a wonderful on the ground, quickly dismissing any director in Ken Loach and it was an suggestion that he is a celebrity. “I don’t amazing experience.” Abroad consider myself a celebrity. I’m not interested in that sort of thing. It is a “I’m not really into very privileged position to be in, to get David Traynor is finding exams in travel around the world and to get to going to parties. I like meet interesting people. I get to do having a couple of Salamanca very different from TCD something that I want to do.” He also was sceptical of the pints with my bud- ¡Hola chicos! I hope the new year is maybe giving a polite nod to the profes- impact of fame on actors. “Fame is all dies” treating you all well. It was with a sense sor, but even that is not necessary. over rated. I’m just doing a job and this of depression that I trudged back to Today's exam wasn't too bad is part of it. I just want to make a piece Apart from these two further Salamanca last Saturday. I wished I but I have a tough one on Monday and of art. That’s all I really want to do. All films being released in 2006 Cillian could have stayed longer. I only had two then an eight day break until my last this stuff is nice, but I’m not really into looks forward to spending time with his weeks on the Emerald Isle before I came one. It's been a real wake-up call to see going to parties. I would like to have a three month old son, Malachy. “My fam- back to the harsh reality of exams and the serious side of university life over couple of pints with my buddies and ily are the most important thing to me in assignments. For the first time in my here and God knows it's been good for that’s important to me.” the world and everything else is second life, coming home felt more like a holi- me but I can't wait until next term when He plays the part of ‘Capa’ in to them. My life has improved one hun- day than anything else. there will be less to worry about and the Danny Boyle’s eagerly awaited Science dred fold since my son was born. He is It was great to be home, though, weather is getting warmer. Fiction film, Sunshine, which witnesses the most amazing little man in the world. because it felt like a holiday. I spent the You may have seen Spain in the him attempt a rescue mission to the sun I love him and he is what makes life whole time meeting up with friends and news recently for jumping on the ever- which is on the brink of dying out. important to me.” family, almost having to tick off a list of growing bandwagon to introduce a “There is a group of us on a spaceship “Looking at his career choices people I had to visit. Needless to say, I smoking ban. It came into force here on flying towards the sun and I’m a good he seems to have been able to achieve didn't get to see half of them. So, I the 1st January as part of the Anti- guy,” he adds, referring to the endless the delicate balance of commercial arrived back last Saturday after a 14 Tobacco Act which, among many other questions about him being typecast as a movies with more art house fare and I hour journey through Stansted, taking measures, aims to combat Spain's love villain. “I have worked with Danny always look forward to seeing his next the cheap Ryanair option. I won't be affair with the cigarette. So, as you can before and I think it will be an amazing movie,” concludes Declan Recks. Cillian doing that again for a while.. imagine, when I returned to Salamanca film.” finishes by listing off names of actors he The next day, I was straight after the holidays, I expected to find a The Wind That Shakes the would like to co-star alongside in the back into the swing of things with an rejuvenated, smoke-free Spain. But, alas, Barley will also reach cinemas in 2006, future. With his talent, laid-back attitude assignment due for Monday. I can't real- no. As my flatmate and fellow European but Cillian wasn’t giving much away. “It to fame and ability to take on the most ly complain though. It's only the second Studies student, Siobhán said, they just is about the war of independence in diverse of parts, we predict an Oscar on piece of work I've had to hand up this seemed to miss the whole point. The Ireland in Cork; the flying columns, Tom the horizon for Cillian Murphy. term. Whether or not they're just lenient only thing I noticed different was that on Erasmus students, it seems the gener- bars now have signs up saying "It is per- al workload over here is lot less than that mitted to smoke in this bar. (Smoking is of Trinity. I've only had to do one bad for your health.)" When I asked one assignment and a presentation so far. of my Spanish flatmates about this, he Anyone else I know here, Spanish or said, "Well, small bars can choose if Erasmus, has had a similarly low work- they're smoking or non-smoking and load. large bars have to provide a non-smok- I've also been busy studying for ing area." In other words, Spain opted my exams. Courses here are fully semes- for a cop-out; a half-baked diluted smok- terised so the first term ends on the 23rd ing ban, not the Mícheál Martin-style December and then there are no classes "all or nothing" ban which seemed to until the start of the second term, which come into force so seamlessly in Ireland. is the 30 th January. I have three exams Only in Spain.. this month, the first of which I did today. So, that's all my news for the Exams are an extremely differ- moment. Next time I'll be talking to you, ent experience over here compared to I'll have my exams out of the way and what I was used to in Trinity. First of all, hopefully passed so I can start focussing past papers are not disclosed, so, you are again on my social life. Until then, given very little of idea of what type of ¡hasta luego! questions and what areas of the course are going to come up. Second of all, you do your exam in a class- room with your pro- fessor. It is much less formal than Trinity and you don't have to deal with those demonic invigilators. If you need to leave to go to the toilet, you Cillian in Red Eye, 28 Days Later and Breakfast with Pluto just get up and go, Salamanca in wintertime: Photo by Jago Tennant 8 Politics TNT A Long Way From D4 Derek Owens asks what next for Ivana Bacik, the Labour Party’s Great Red Hope? RTE's 'Questions and Answers' isn't nor- office. Her chosen party, her background, Labour leaders seeking re-election to strug- Ironically she managed to alienate mally an occasion of high drama. In Kerry, and her views make it hard to see her hav- gle won't do much to change this) but the local PD activists by putting friendship though, they do things differently. Just ask ing electoral success outside the socially area also has another left-wing Dáil deputy above party loyalty, campaigning for Bacik Ivana Bacik. Appearing on the programme liberal, affluent and left-leaning districts of in Sinn Féin's Aengus Ó Snodaigh. His con- in the European elections - returning the near Dingle, she suggested that a recent South Dublin. A quick look at individual tinuing rise, and the prospect of a clash with favour by muscling into her friend's con- drop-off in tourism had some connection to constituencies, though, show that securing the dangerous Rabitte, should be enough to stituency and nabbing her Dáil seat would hotel owners and shopkeepers charging a party nomination, let alone a Dáil seat, is warn Bacik off this area. certainly prove Bacik's determination. It extortionate prices. "That may be the case going to be a battle. Her home constituency On the face of it, Dublin South would also earn her the reputation as a cold- where you're from," a spirited Kerryman of Dublin South East is shared with Ruari seems an ideal home for Professor Bacik: a hearted harridan. There's also Éamon interjected, "but you're a long way from Quinn, who struggled badly to retain his constituency with five seats, and no Labour Gilmore, pessimistic about local Labour Dublin 4 now!" The studio erupted. The TDs. The one problem is that Labour have support and unhappy about the prospect of heckler may have sounded like a character Conventional wisdom holds already had their selection conference here a running mate, to think about, and a local from 'Deliverance', but he had a point. Even - in fact, the battle for the Labour nomina- organisation dominated by ex-Democratic before being interrupted, Bacik looked out that there's only one tion was a dead heat, and county councillor Left members. These more traditional Irish of her element, warning against the "reha- Labour seat in this three- Aidan Culhane's name had to be drawn lefties are far from certain to take to the uni- bilitation" of Charles Haughey in an area from a hat. Tagging Bacik's name on the versity professor. There is a hope for a seat with long-standing affection for him, show- seater constituency. ticket in an area where the party is both in this constituency, but the complications ing open contempt for Sinn Féin in the Conventional wisdom is divided and lacking electoral support may be too much to overcome. county that elected a gun-runner, and strug- right. wouldn't be the smartest thing Labour's There is no such thing as an easi- gling to suffer fools gladly. It's an admirable central office has ever done. It would also ly-won seat. For Bacik in 2007, though, it's trait that our criminology professor, who alienate local activists, including Culhane even more problematic. There simply isn't appeared not so long ago as the saviour of seat in 2002. The former Labour leader is himself (and Alex White, the unlucky loser room for her in any South Dublin con- champagne socialism, refuses to mince her highly unlikely to accept a running mate so at the convention). Strangely, a tie-breaker stituencies, while sending her out beyond words. It's also a quality that could just soon after his brush with unemployment. situation also cropped up selecting a candi- the pale would be a waste of a fine candi- derail a promising political career. Next door, Dublin South Central has a sit- date for Dublin Mid-West. This time date. If Bacik is to find her way into After three unsuccessful election ting Labour TD in the form of Mary Upton, Joanna Tuffy (who performed strongly in Leinster House, it's probably going to be campaigns (for a TCD Seanad seat in 1997 and an ambitious local councillor in Eric the last general election) got lucky, after via the back door of the Seanad. She can and 2002, and the 2004 European Elections Byrne. Byrne has had two stints as a Dáil failing to beat Robert Dowds, another either hope that Labour fights its way into in Dublin) most politicians would be con- deputy already and, with a hard election ambitious councillor, in a straight vote government (and that a Taoiseach's nomi- sidered a failure. A credible haul of 40,707 campaign looming, (both Fine Gael among local party members. nation falls her way) or she can do it for votes in 2004, though, her willingness to and Labour are anxious to Conventional wisdom holds that herself. This will entail a nationwide articulate intensely-held (if unpopular) poach a seat from Fianna there's only one Labour seat to be charm-offensive on county councillors, or views, and the aging, increasingly lethargic Fáil) Labour members won in this three-seater con- another tilt at a Trinity Seanad seat. On the Labour party made Ivana Bacik's relative are more likely to go stituency. Conventional wis- face of it, the latter course looks far more youth and energy all the more striking. In a with the experienced dom is right. realistic: She narrowly lost out to Senator party composed of has-beens and never- poll-topping local All this leaves one Mary White in her 2002 bid for a seat in the weres, Bacik seems like the great red hope, councillor as Upton's potential home for Bacik in Seanad, and White has already declared her an outspoken, confident voice on the mod- running mate. Dublin South Dublin - as a running intention to retire rather than stand again. A erate Left. There's growing evidence, South-West, mean- mate to Eamon Gilmore in the sitting senator, David Norris, may have the though, that this outspoken nature and her while, is solidly working volatile Dun Laoire-Rathdown left-leaning liberal votes already well growing public profile as a liberal firebrand class. It's also Pat Rabbitte area. There are several seats here staked out, but her high national profile (not a contradiction in terms), is becoming country. Not only is Bacik's for the taking - Cieran Cuffe of the should still help sew up election here. a problem for her. It's already managed to party leader ferociously terri- Greens has never really recov- So a Seanad seat at least is a real scupper at least one speaking engagement. torial (his ered from embarrassing rev- possibility for Labour's new hope in the Fordham University, where she was due to declining elations about a not- next few years, and David Norris should speak on immigration and the law, can- personal so-green share quite rightly be spooked. But then what? celled her appearance in September. This approval portfolio and The safest course of action would be to sit was due, she asserts, to the intervention of ratings Fiona tight in Leinster House, waiting for her con- Cardinal Edward Egan, and her stance on and the O'Malley, the stituency colleague Ruari Quinn to retire abortion. The incident says more about ten- ineffective gracefully and leave her with a clear path to Fordham University's intellectual cow- dency Progresssive the Dáil. By then, though, it could easily be ardice than it does about Professor Bacik's of Democrat 2012, and who knows what bright young suitability to speak on immigration, but is a deputy, is thing will emerge for Labour in the mean- worrying sign of how her reputation as the strongly time? Five years spent in the Seanad could uncompromising, slightly shrill voice of tipped to expose Bacik to damaging media scrutiny, South Dublin liberalism precedes her. Her lose her or worse, anonymity. The voting public are recent decision to bring a case before the seat. less deferential to unknown senators than European court of human rights on behalf they used to be, particularly in Dublin. The of the group 'Safe and Legal in Ireland', Trinity professor may be talented, intelli- hardly dispels this image. It's brave, even in gent, and (in the right area) very electable, today's Ireland, to argue the case for abor- but she has trapped herself by her tempera- tion as a fundamental human right. It's also ment, views and background in the already electoral suicide. overcrowded political pond of South Lest we forget, Bacik's priority at Dublin. The great red hope's career in poli- this point in time, if she still harbors politi- tics may be effectively over before winning cal ambitions, must surely be to win public a single election. TNT Politics 9 The Kids are Alright - The Case for Youth Politics they’re the only ones who can, and we aren’t expected to appease you. When col- Athenian on the silent, apathetic majority, Carl Fox continue to elect politicians on the basis lege branches and youth organisations and if you’ve read this far then I see no Irish politics suffers from a rather serious of what they’ll do for us, and the local talk about things like social policy and reason to restrain myself this time. A and debilitating confusion. As a state, we area. economic theory they’re discussing the democracy is as strong, or as real, as the seem to be unable to distinguish between The whole country seems to national concerns that we don’t generally amount of participation by the citizenry, which issues are local, and which are be missing the point of having a national see our T.D.s coming to us on the and the depth and breadth of its under- national. I’ve no idea who said that all parliament at all. They’re all there to dis- doorsteps about. standing. There has to be a responsibility politics is local, but I’d like to give the cuss issues of national significance, and to engage with the political process and individual in question a good shake. This make decisions based on the good of the how this takes place is crucial to the kind of thinking has been holding our nation as a whole. Questions about how development of politics in Ireland and fur- political development back for genera- we want our society to proceed have ther afield. tions. national answers. Education, job creation, Youth politics can be the In this country, local govern- standards of employment and so on, are grounding that gives future leaders the ment is a joke. Very few people take it at not challenges that we can deal with on a imagination to take this country away all seriously and it’s commonly seen as a unitary level, in a fragmented way. We from the all too pervasive culture of local- training ground for a run at the Dáil. This need to untie the hands of our representa- ity and blinkered self-interest. It is capa- is neither the case, nor how things should tives and we need to learn to take a broad- ble of producing generations of politicians be. Local government exists for a very er view of politics and re-evaluate what it prepared to make the structural changes specific reason, namely, and forgive me if is that we want to get out of democratic necessary. It can also be a way for us all to you saw this coming from the start, the elections. raise consciousness of the national issues governance of local issues. That’s its This is where youth politics that get swept under the carpet by the fuss remit, that’s why it’s there. Unfortunately, and involvement with political parties in made over their counterparts that, while the tendency is for everyone to simply college should prove invaluable. There important, are simply too confined and ignore it and go straight to the local T.D. seems always to exist a certain suspicion insular to impinge on a national legisla- with any problem. If a concerned citizen of mainstream political activism, in that ture. Early involvement at a theoretical needs a third speed bump on the road, or participants are often seen as enhancing Don’t treat on-campus polit- level may not seem practical or useful to the sink fixed, or possibly someone to their C.V.s and looking to further their ical activity as merely an extension of many, however, it is one established and water the flowers then it’s his/her repre- own ambitions. And it’s amazing how political parties. There’s a fundamental straightforward way to broaden the scope sentative in the national parliament that easily people are turned off political dis- difference in the essence and character, a of our collective view of government, and gets a call. Now, generally all a T.D. can cussion by mistrust of motives and per- difference that needs to spread outwards. hopefully instil a radically new approach do is to refer the matter to the city or sonalities. Whether you agree with them It’s not just the level of idealism, it’s the to the use of the colossal amount of ener- county council via a question, or pass it or not, college political parties are provid- freedom to pursue national, and even gy and activity expended on politics in off to a colleague on said council. With ing an almost unique facility, they’re supra-national, objectives without the hin- this country. Who would argue that it the end of the dual mandate, T.D.s have offering to debate and argue theory and drance of immersion in the nitty-gritty of couldn’t be better spent than on false no real power to get a playground built or practice in a way that’s not constricted by local affairs. I think everyone who’s promises and phoney posturing? a new set of traffic lights installed. the unfortunate realities of electoral poli- involved in politics at almost any level Carl Fox is Chair of the Trinity Branch However, the perception still persists that tics. You’re not their constituents and they regularly feels the temptation to go of the Labour Party Is This the End of the Liberal Line? Hugh Roche-Kelly sizes up the would-be leaders of the LibDems Ahh... Charles Kennedy's gone. I know he statesman and all that- was well respected- have turned against him over the fact that he being that he’ll be dead soon). Campbell is wasn't great, but at least he was human. He until he stabbed Kennedy in the back (prob- really made it pretty obvious that he was the favourite among MPs, but the entire was the most liked British politician, even if ably with a bottle). Et tu, Menzus. If he were spending the nights between Kennedy’s The entire campaign we now know that was more to do with a to gain the leadership, he would, apparently, admission and Kennedy’s resignation say- steady flow of intoxicating vapours that rid the contemporary political debate of ing “excellent…” a lot. And the fact that his against Campbell so far is emanated from his rosy cheeks at all times. “flim flam,” according to the party’s former nickname is “Ming” is just a bad idea. Also, that he’s an old fart with a British politics has lost an essential compo- leader Lord Ashdown. Most people use he’s old. Er. This seems to be the entire cam- stupid name. Sir Ming. nent in the love triangle of party leaders; the cough syrup for that. Besides, the flim-flam paign against Campbell so far, basically he’s affable drunkard has up to now provided a mightn’t have to worry too much. Many an old fart with a stupid name. Sir Ming. Honestly... counterpoint to the machiavellian Cameron former loyal supporters of Sir Campbell Honestly. point of Oaten’s campaign seems to be that (who has recently been using his handi- The man waging (perhaps “wagging” he believes the same handful of MPs who capped son as a pity card) and the image is a better word, remember what party we’re kicked Kennedy out shouldn’t be the ones consultant-in-training that is Blair. (I mean, talking about) the aforementioned cam- who decide the new leader. really, that video diary? Good God it's truly paign is, well, funny looking. His name is Hmm. Well, no one’s really going to be painful to watch. I didn't even want to watch Mark Oaten, and he looks like the sort of that excited about it all. Things were going it, I was looking for pornography). person who eats things called ‘toad in the ok- big increases in the last election (that So who is going to replace him? Well, hole,’ ‘spotted dick,’ or ‘bread and butter could, admittedly, have been better) and a between now and the first week of March pudding.’ He’s got the private backing of leader who was despite all his faults among there should, in theory, be just as much back Kennedy, but whether or not this is a good the chief attractions of the party. Sir Ming stabbing polemic and ranting that charac- thing is yet to be seen. will probably end up in charge, but as Oaten terised the Tory leadership race in 2005, so If he focuses too much on the so cruelly pointed out, he won’t be around we can all look forward to a riveting... oh unceremonial ‘decapitation’ of his prede- for long. Kennedy’s departure has left the wait. Sorry, this is the Liberal Democrats, cessor, he’s going to be seen as belonging to party in considerable trouble and they don't do exciting. Which is why the old school of ‘nice and easy there’ Lib Campbell’s likely election will divide the Kennedy will be missed. Ah well, time to Dems. (i.e. amiable drunkard.) Even he Liberals further and lead to inevitable insta- move on and that… But to whom? seems philosophically cynical about his bility. Trust the Lib Dems to misstep at Well, the guy who’s provisionally in chances, stating that even if he himself does another crucial point. charge is Sir Menzies Campbell. He would lose, then Campbell will “only be a stop gap Cartoons by Michael Church have been an obvious enough choice- elder measure” (the implication here presumably 10 Talking Heads TNT Q: Who would be your dream act (alive or dead) to see play at the Trinity Ball this year?

now cos they sold out the again like to see. Going to their gig Interviews by RDS but a couple of them Marc Faulkner, JF in a couple of months any- Christine Bohan went to college here so it’d Theoretical Physics way so that’ll be cool be cool to have them back Breda Smith, JF Nursing U2 - I know it’s unrealistic Rachel Merrigan, SF It’s a bit on the unrealistic but to see them play here French and Italian side for a whole lot of rea- Kanye West would be legend would be legend sons but Led Zeppelin Enda Lyons, SF Sociology Katherine McGovern, JS Take That are playing in the Darragh Gannon, JF and Social Policy Geography and Sociology Point a couple of weeks Engineering before the Ball so maybe . He’s play- Republic of Loose would be they could hang around Weezer! The last allbum was ing Rag Week but he can just deadly. Did they play last Dublin and play here. So a bit ropey but they played come back again for the year? Damn I missed them. many memories! Dublin twice last year and Trinity Ball. It’d be cool to see them Aoife Sherlock, SS they were excellent Thomas Nulty, JF though. Sociology Christine McDermott, SF Engineering John Dillon, JS Economics Philosophy and Political and Business Muse cos there’s no-one Science but not the half- comparable to them and Matt assed reformed version, the NWA. It’s a pity they broke Bellamy is one of the most , if proper one with Phil Lynnott up about 15 years ago talented musicians ever they played loads of the early Patrick Brunkard, JF Peter Henry, SS Biblical Maeve O’Gorman, JF stuff. Nursing and Theological Studies English and History Penny Harte, JF Theoretical Physics Maybe Arctic Monkeys cos Classic Beatles played a few The , if they’re they’re on the rise so it’d be years ago and they were bril- not too big for it. Bob Dylan a good time to get them and liant, they should bring them Billy Fogarty, SS Electronic Fox Alexander, JF French there’s actually a chance of back Engineering and History getting them Andrew Latham, SS Joe McGinchey JF BESS Politics and Sociology Aslan. They played the Bon Jovi put on the best live Buttery in October and I show I’ve ever seen so The Sultans of Ping Bell XI. I don’t know if think they could rock it up they’d be the act I’d most Jen Davis, JS Year History they’re too big for the Ball

Bell X1, Weezer, Oasis and Take That: The oddest Ball line up ever TNT Fashion 11 Thrift Store Fabulous at your Fingertips

Ann-Marie Dabiri has filled the store Bollywood cinema. with designs from London, Germany, If you’re looking to embrace Spain and New York, cramming the the 70s vixen screaming to get out and shelves with a fusion of fabric and boogie on down then hit the garment styles for both guys and dolls. The store and furniture store Wild Child for disco is over-stocked with Sex Pistols badges, and hippy kitch for every occasion. Blondie wigs, Ramones T.Shirts, 1950s Based on the premise that the 70s glam dotty dresses and punk-tastic acces- never goes out of fashion, Wildchild is sories. The most eye-catching items are crammed with gear straight out of those from small London-based compa- Saturday Night fever. Its funky attitude ny ‘Charles,’ that cater only for Retro puts the fun back into fashion and if the and pride themselves on their unique clothing doesn’t grab you then maybe blend of punk patterns and print. the collection of groovy furniture, gig- On the opposite end of the gletastic dress-up gear and eye-catching fashion scale, Mahorani is the place to gadgets will. Pick up accessories such visit for elegant Asian styles, ranging as slinkies, beanie chairs, stash boxes from hand-crafted, patchwork silk bags and Playboy playing cards, for both the from India and Pakistan to Japanese ladies and the men here. kimonos and accessories shipped over Its time to turn your back on from the far East. This is one of the Topshop and get set to embrace the cheaper stores with jaw-dropping offers thrift store experience that is sweeping Retro Styles, Asian Silks, 70s glam and 80spunk. All part of the thrift store experience in the city’s south- side. By Carmen Bryce. Photos by Richeal Carroll and Cian Kennedy Divert, if just for one afternoon, from Base Store is the best for men’s street your usual commercial shop hopping wear in the shape of hilarious slogan and open your eyes to the plethora of T.Shirts, trendy hoodies and the most thrift and vintage stores around Dublin. popular of stock, the classic army jack- A treasure chest of second hand fashion et. Boasting visits from Richard and vintage from every corner of Ashcroft and Cillian Murphy (before the globe. Spots such as Wild Child on his latest film role perhaps) this store Camden Street, The Market Arcade on captures the essence of Brit-pop culture George’s Street and The Harlequin on with credible styles that are rough Castle Market are a must see for afford- around the edges. able and unique treads. Another store with more street A store that time forgot, The cred and cool than Liam Gallagher him- Harlequin is a haven of styles from self is the delectable Retro. Manager every era, from 40’s sophisticate, 60’s retro and 80’s sparkle .Opening the store 12 years ago, mother and daughter The range of vintage gear available at Wildchild on Camden Street. such as a range of bags jumping off the the nation. Even millionaire celebrities, A treasure chest of sec- rack for €9 and a variety of elegant such as Sienna Miller and Kate Moss ond hand fashion and vin- Asian dresses for no more than €20. have been snapped rummaging through tage funk from every cor- Similarly, for a taste of the the racks in search of authentic vintage Orient, visit Om Diva which houses a gear. When it comes to thrift store ner of the globe... range of Asian garments and flowing, shopping, its worth putting some time silk gowns for feminine and seductive in, making shopping an experience team Susan and Fiona Smyth know fashion. Twenty five year old manager rather than a chore, even for the men. what it takes to make a store of this Siohan Lynch prides herself on the Cheap, funky and full of surprises, it’s nature successful. The tiny shop is liter- authenticity of the fabrics, sporting simply a student’s prerogative to do it ally crammed to the rafters with authen- bags made out of Indian antique wed- thrift store style. tic leather and fur lined coats, hand ding gowns and modelled closely on crafted dresses, print t-shirts of every colour and slogan under the sun and timeless accessorises that will never go out of fashion. The second-hand gear is in superb nick and reeks of authenticity as many of the garments have been perserved in mint condition since the 1930’s. Perfect for a lazy, browsing Saturday with paycheck in your back pocket is the Market Arcade. It’s easy to lose yourself for hours amongst the unique styles of English, American and Asian designers. The best stalls in my opinion are Retro, Mahorani, Base andthe unique designs of Om Diva. The Dress to impress in Asian fabrics and shriking oriental colours at Om Diva. Put the right foot forward in The Harlequinon on Castle Market. 12 Books TNT This month TNT Books is suffering from a severe case of the winter blues: Anna Ni Chaoimh hates herself and wants to die, while Paul Earlie’s girlfriend is in a coma...(not literally!) Girlfriend in a Coma Paul Earlie indugles in some wallowing as he reviews Douglas Coupland’s novel I’m a big fan of melancholia. It’s one of the finest forms Karen’s rebirth into of self-indulgence, like sarcasm, or shopping in Marks mid-nineties Vancouver pro- and Spenser. If melancholia, is then: to become the new vides the novel with a rather opium of the as-yet-adolescent masses (angst is just so neat division, which unfortu- passé). Where are we to get our fix? ‘Girlfriend in a nately doesn’t work much in Coma’ would probably be a pretty good place to start. the book’s favour. The disjoint- To read ‘Girlfriend’ is to wallow, flounder ed structure of the book (it even, in everything that makes life (and in particular almost seems like two books) youth) blow. The book’s author, none other than the leaves something of an after- “Poet Laureate of Generation X” Douglas Coupland, taste in the reader’s mouth, sums things up quite succinctly: “Your 20s are muck and not a good one. This is per- and shit and pain and loneliness and horror.” Fair haps the novel’s biggest flaw. On enough. If this kind of relentlessly bleak (and frankly the one hand, we have the unadulterated melancholia of scenario and seeing if he can find a new hostile) outlook on life offends some of your more ten- the first half of the novel as Richard and his fittingly perspective on things, Coupland goes and botches der sensibilities, best look away now. ‘Girlfriend’ is not diverse (some might say implausibly so) group of everything by having his preachy prophet Karen and her for the faint of heart. friends cope with the aftermath of Karen’s coma, while (at this point) unbearably whiney friends make fairly And yet, as I started reading I decided that this simultaneously trying to balance the nightmarish jour- rudimentary statements about the shallowness of is a book everyone should before their twenties, or at ney through their twenties. This section works, in the Generation X, their unquestioning devotion to the tech- least during their twenties. The feeling of oppression truest sense of the word, as the reader joins in with nological age, and their utter lack of spirituality. This is and density which suffuses the first half of Coupland’s Coupland’s ever-degenerating cast as they scream ques- a mistake. Fables (and in particular moral fables such as novel is much more than admirable: it’s damn near awe- tions about existence to which they are never given this) work by dissimulating their message, by being inspiring. answers: Why is there so much suffering in the world? merely suggestive, not by having their characters pause, The year is 1979. Richard, a perfectly Why can’t I find someone? Why am I so lonely? look at the camera, and make sweeping statements mediocre American high school senior, deflowers his Now these are universal questions, and they’ll about modern youth culture. girlfriend on a ski slope, then takes her to a suitably doubtlessly strike a chord with pretty much anyone who That said, I just can’t dismiss the first half of out-of-control party where she proceeds to mix drinks picks up the novel. However, things begin to take quite the book as easily as I can dismiss the book’s second and drugs (uh oh) and ultimately hurls herself headlong a dramatic downhill turn as soon as Coupland attempts half (with its sudden injection of fantasy and its woeful- into a 17-year coma. As you can see, the plot is relative- to provide answers to these questions, mostly through ly clichéd ending, which one of Coupland’s characters ly unadventurous – three parts boy-meets-girl, one part the medium of Karen’s physical and spiritual reawaken- actually identifies at one point as being a kind of invert- It’s a Wonderful Life, a dash of the X-Files, crowned ing. To do this, Coupland employs a typically clichéd ed version of It’s a Wonderful Life – groan). I men- with a light sprinkling of metaphysics. What makes the apocalyptic scenario: Karen’s rebirth heralds the end of tioned earlier Nietzsche’s clever little subtitle, and that book different is the fact that Karen (the “girlfriend” of time itself (no, seriously) in the form of a plague that deserves an elaboration. This is a book you should read the title) eventually awakens from her extended coma causes people to nod off into a deathly sleep (or coma, while young, before middle-age hits, and everything and promptly delivers some home-truths about her now if you will). The chaos that ensues form this plague is starts to seem like the End of Days. Just save yourself middle-aged friends’ modern lifestyles. It’s an interest- entertaining enough while it lasts, as civilisation itself the sermon and stop before the half-way mark: there’s ing take on an old formula, and for a few chapters at begins to implode, and Mother Nature returns to reclaim plenty of time for lectures in the real world. least it manages to sufficiently rouse the reader’s sense what was so rudely stolen from her in the first place. of intrigue. Unfortunately, instead of playing around with this “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” Anna Ni Chaoimh cheers herself up by reading Tom Reynold’s first book There are songs that make grateful to be countries. The collection is broken down tive and sometimes just very wrong Nirvana? alive, some that make you cry, and oth- into 10 categories of doom and gloom, judgments; He describes Joy Divisions Or, if it is ers that simply make you want to get the with labels such as ‘She Hates Me, I ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ as ‘a tad obvi- just really razor blades out and run a nice hot bath. Hate Her’ and ‘I’m Telling A Story ous’. However, half of the fun is in dis- bad pop What is it about depressing songs that Nobody Wants To Hear’. agreeing with his sweeping judgments music that makes them so memorable? Is it the gut- Reynolds is moderately witty and getting fixated on the song he’s fits the bill, wrenching lyrics, the story behind them, and does have a good understanding of missed, or fuming about the fact that he why is he so the melancholic melodies? Tom the technical aspect of these songs, has targeted songs you quite like. concerned with the navel-gazing projects Reynolds, in I Hate Myself, and Want to which is interesting if you like that sort At times, he confuses depress- of accomplished artists. Having said that, Die; The 52 Most Depressing Songs of thing. He draws attention any semiotic ing music with just plain BAD music. including a CD would have been a nice You’ve Ever Heard, describes depressing and scientific mistakes, which is very The fact that his criteria aren’t properly touch. As it stands, I look forward to the song as one that ruins your day when it amusing. For example, Evanescence, he set down gets quite frustrating because release of a CD, so that I can sing along comes on the radio points out, uses the term ‘resonating surely Celine Dion’s version of ‘All By with a hairbrush in one hand and a razor The introduction concentrates light’ in ‘My Immortal’ but light doesn’t Myself’ and Pink Floyd’s ‘Comfortably in the other. It ends on a strong note, on the history of depressing songs, resonate. Also, in the Counting Crows’ Numb’ can’t be considered depressing with a complete countdown of doom, beginning with Homer, and its irrever- for the same reasons? ranking the songs from numbers 52 to 1. ence is quite witty. Reynolds goes into song, ‘Round Here’, ‘no-one notices the If subject matter is what makes This is the perfect crescendo to a book great detail on the urban-legend of contrast of white on white’, which dis- a song depressing, where are the obvious that perfectly suits this time of year; ‘Gloomy Sunday’, the song whose lyrics plays an unfortunate misunderstanding of choices like The Smiths, Elliot Smith, People feel low, suicide rates are high have been found at the scene of over 100 the word ‘contrast’. Lou Reed, Nick Cave, Radiohead, and and summer feels like an eternity away. suicides and has been banned in many He can be seriously conserva- the band from whom the title was taken, TNT Theatre 13 The ISDA’s are a- The English Patient visits Dublin The Dublin Theatre scene eagerly describes the show as “the tale of an infinitely fine play.” Faith anticipates the appearance of one Frank Hardy, a Faith Healer, who Healer has the potential to be the coming soon... of the industry’s most versatile has spent a life-time touring the biggest piece of drama Dublin With the biggest event of the year on the horizon, Hilary and famous names as Ralph decayed villages of Scotland and has seen for a long time, and the Term is looking like a good opportunity to see the cream Fiennes comes to town. Fiennes Wales with his manager, Teddy, public interest generated by the of Student Drama, David Lydon reports. has earned fame for playing and his wife/mistress, Grace. stellar cast will ensure tickets will diverse and often controversial Now he accepts that he must be difficult to get hold of. There Christmas has been and gone, won. roles such as Count Laszlo de return home to Ireland, a destiny is already talk of the show trans- we’re well into the New Year As the awards are Almásy in the English Patient he can no longer postpone. The ferring to Broadway in April, and Hilary Term has looming on the horizon, (1996) and Amon Goeth in story of their touring and of their with 2005 Tony Award winner arrived, bringing with it the speculation is rife regarding Schindler’s List (1994), both fateful return is told in separate, Cherry Jones taking Craigie’s promise of the Irish Student the playsthat are to be select- earning him Oscar nominations. often contradictory, stories by role. If you go to one show this Drama Awards, or the ed. The Players committee Last year was one of his Grace and Teddy and Frank him- term, make it this one. ISDA’s when they’re at assess every play from the most successful, with roles in self. These narratives taken home. Every Easter, colleges previous year, before decid- Wallace and Gromit: The Curse together make up a mosaic that is Faith Healer by Brain Friel from across the country ing upon the three or four of the Were-Rabbit, Hary Potter both compelling and terrifying.” (directed by Jonathan Kent) compete in the prestigious that have the best chance and The Goblet of Fire and The Not surprisingly given begin its run in the Gate awards, making it the most of doing Trinity proud. This Constant Gardener. The latter has the hype surrounding the play, Theatre nightly from the 7th of important event in the term alone there are two received considerable critical expectation is high for what February. Previews start on the calendar of any self-respect- shows a week from week 3 acclaim, with many critics pre- should be a must-see. The Irish 2nd February. For more infor- ing student theatre company. onwards until the end of dicting another nomination at Times have already heralded the mation, visit the Gate’s website, The ISDA’s have proved term, so there are plenty of next month’s Academy Awards. production as being “Absorbing www.gate~theatre.ie very successful for Players potential candidates. He will be appearing in Brian fiction… brilliant and profound… over the years, with last It’s too early into the Friel’s play Faith Healer at the year’s UCD-hosted awards term making any predictions, Gate this February alongside earning several successes for but all of the plays that Ingrid Craigie and Ian the plays entered. This year, are being performed are like- McDiarmuid, established stars the awards are ly to be strong candidates. themselves, in Jonathan Kent’s taking place in Cork, and From a audience production. Fiennes is no stranger Players will be looking to perspective, take the opportu- to the stage, having appeared in, add to the numerous awards nity to see as many of the amongst others, Hamlet on that the society has already shows as you can, as Broadway, which earnd him a this term is already shaping Tony Award. up nicely. You never know, The play marks another when Players return collaboration between Friel and triumphantly from the ISDA’s The Gate, who have expressed you could claim to be one of their delight at working with the lucky few too “Ireland’s greatest living play- have seen the show before it wright” in one of his finest was famous! plays.” The Gate website Ralph Fiennes, in Dublin now Stuarts, Iguanas and Henry VIII in London After a strangely quiet summer London’s West End has been awash with hard-hitting drama this winter, reports our London Theatre Correspondent Mark Wright The Donmar Warehouse’s inspiring pro- (Woody Harrelson), a horny beach cabin loneliness, rejection from society and very closely to transcripts and diaries duction of Schiller’s Mary Stuart now resort owner (Clare Higgins) and a trav- insanity. For a moment, like the charac- from the day. Martin Shaw’s representa- coming to the end of its run at the Apollo elling high-class female con-artist (Jenny ters themselves, we almost believe tion of the lawyer saint’s canny defence is an incredibly powerful examination of Seagrove) are phenomenal. The play has redemption is possible as opposites of his position, and his resolute obedi- corrupt political machinations. The play its comic moments, and will be familiar appear to attract but it is not to be and ence to the King exerts terrifying depths which charts the final days of Mary territory to Williams’ fans, dealing with the mournful aching desolation which the of humility and faith. The rawness of his Stuart’s life in the run up to her execu- playwright specialised in will stay with betrayed and perjured against (yet unbro- tion by Elizabeth I contains two of the you long after the curtain has fallen. ken) figure is breath-taking and the pro- strongest female roles in theatre with There is a searing, almost painful, emo- duction which is cleverly staged between Janet McTeer and Harriet Walters, play- tional emptiness. It is the silent, soul- two staircases is an awe-inspiring show- ing Mary and Elizabeth respectively, wrenching cry which no-one will hear, a case for the man Benedict Nightingale dominate the roles. Their animosity, vision of humanity lost in tragic isola- last week declared the most gifted actor shaded by an almost bitter mutual tion. on the British stage. Shaw drew a stand- respect, makes for powerful viewing, And finally, Robert Bolt’s play A Man ing ovation the night I saw it and it’s not especially when offset by the strong for All Seasons, which opened last week hard to see why. If you have to swim to ensemble of hideously spineless and rep- at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket. Of the get there, it’ll be worth it. tilian politicians who surround them. three, this is the weakest script but by the Want to write? That’s a In contrast Tennessee Williams’ Night of end you won’t notice. The play’s subject the Iguana at the Lyric falls down is the fall from grace and execution of good idea! Promises of slightly on it’s company, some of whom Sir Thomas More by King Henry VIII free tickets, artistic cred- occasionally seem to lapse from their for refusing to acknowledge the royal intended Texan accents into a slightly divorce and rejection of the Roman ibility and general popu- bizarre and misplaced Devonshire lilt. Papacy. Whilst itself never larity beckon... However the three central characters; a addresses More’s inner demons over his Emails to [email protected]. defrocked priest turned tour guide Woody Harrelson decision it redeems itself by sticking 14 Staying In TNT Hate Something, Change Something: Ads We Hate to Hate gage/loan/insurance/claim ads (tedious Hannah Scally and depressing), ads for shopping centres “Marge, if we don’t watch the commer- in Northern Ireland (agressive and cials it’s like we’re stealing TV” Homer depressing), and the absolute worst, ads explains in one episode of The for anything in the Midlands. Simpsons. Advertisers, meanwhile, are I was reading an article the busy thinking up ways to trap you with other day that was talking about compa- them at the bus stop. My response to that nies using more product placement with- was “well, if they didn’t make the ads so in shows to counter the increasing prob- bloody tedious (see above), I wouldn’t lem of what they called ‘ad-avoidance’. try and avoid them.” One of the reasons I Avoidance is right. Bad ads are love watching rubbishy late-night TV is people you’ve met and know, just know because the breaks are about one ad you never want to talk to, ever, ever long. again. They turn you into a horrible per- Then, I remembered my friend son. That Meteor lap-dancing ad, in male and I singing the Hellman’s Mayonnaise or female form, is one that would make song out of sheer disbelief to a group of We feel very sorry for the guy that she’s after me dive behind a post-box to get out of bemused Scottish people in a pub, Tayto reference) - they actually often something, make something better- the path of. And the Maltesers ad with because they have Hellman’s ads over make quite good telly (feel free to start rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!) with the cartoon of the giant women on space-hoppers. The there, but not the theme song, and the that sentence again if you got lost). the diesel engine, which I downloaded Tayto ad with the “He loves me, he loves fact that my sister and I once discovered Better, surely, than talking to because it makes me feel happy - are me not” madwoman meanwhile, I would we could jingle-sing our way through some RTE presenter or other about their bringing out a new ad. This seems to be be prepared to scramble over small chil- two thirds of the contents of our fridge. new show on RTE which will be on after a television event. Apparently it’s going And some ads, anyway, are brilliant. this. to have a choir ‘singing’ the sounds of a Bad ads are people you’ve Everyone talks about them and they go Wikipedia (all hail) tells us that car driving. By the time this article is on for ages and then a new one is the first ad ever was broadcast in 1941 in printed, it will already be out and it met and know, just know brought out using the same gag, and then the U.S., for $9 during a baseball match. might be rubbish. However. A really tiny you never want to talk to, another and another until the Duracell It also tells us that the half hour pro- part of me is anticipating that ad, and ever, ever again... bunny dies. Same old. gramme today is around 9 minutes short- hoping it’s going to be good. Mustn’t What I have noticed cropping er that the same programme in the sixties steal. up recently and with more proliferation - and that re-runs of sixties shows are dren to get away from. Other approaches Handy Hannah’s Helpful Hint: are to blank it as if it’s not happening, to are the programmes about ads - The 100 almost certain to be cut by that 9 minutes www.whatsthatcalled.co.uk has a list pretend you’ve never met it before, or, Best Ads Ever, Tarrant on TV, that to allow for more ads. Somehow, this when truly stuck, to shout at it in skin- annoying Ed Byrne one with the terrible manages to irritate me, even though I of most of the songs used in British crawling irritation. Sometimes, perverse- graphics. Apart from the fact that this is don’t exactly watch a lot of sixties TV, ads, so if some tune is really bugging ly, you can decide to watch them anyway TV cannabalism on a new level - a hav- particularly in the U.S. which is what you, or you really like the song that as an excercise in resilience - ‘going for ing-already-tipped-the-crumbs-out,- they’re talking about. accompanies the latest Ford car, you the mental burn’, if you will. going-back-and-licking-the-flavouring- Love-hate? Maybe. Whatever. can find out what it is. Table quiz- Prime bad-ad candidates, inci- off-the-packet sort of thing, (That better Honda, the people who brought us the tastic. dentally, include car ads (tedious), mort- not be the subconscious effect of the ‘Grrr Song’ ad (hate something, change

Hate something, change something: The cartoon Honda ad TNT Going Out 15 Top 5 things to do in Trinity this week

After the success of the last Ignore the less-than-compli- Bígí ag caint Gaeilge mar is é Suas are holding their by-now We’re a bit hazy on this one but one, the Mystery Trip is mentary review we gave it Seachtain na Gaeilge an tseach- annual Bollywood Night in we know that Damien Dempsey back. Tickets went on sale (below) and get along to the tain seo! There’s a County the Sugar Club this is playing the Buttery some yesterday (Monday) from Rappers and Slappers night in Colours Céilí and Speed Dating Thursday. Tickets €7 from time during Rag Week next the SU shop and cost €25. XXI to officially launch Rag in the Buttery on Wednesday SU Shop and Arts/Hamilton week. Seize the day (hoho!) The trip is on Feb 2nd, and Week tonight. Tickets €5 so dig out your fáinne and stands, with loads of spot and make sure you go along to hits 3 venues in 15 hours from the SU shop impress with your cúpla focail. prizes on the night see him The Club Review: XXI D’Olier Street Claire Keaveny Saturday from 11 o’clock. Oh and by- the-by it’s not a 21 only door policy (the and name is actually their address!) Donal Carey

The holidays managed to fly by so fast with numerous social engagements, that Scoreboard club reviews were put firmly to wayside, Entry until the deadline reminder email came 0/5 – Always expensive, always a-knocking, we knew we were in trouble. So after many a heated discussion about queues, always raining. We just where to go at the last minute, don’t like queuing there. Twentyone was somehow decided on, Bouncers just like when we were young and unfor- 0/5 – Overly pushy and not up tunately ended up in Coyote and to this for the banter day nobody knows how. Especially con- sidering no one ever ever wanted to go Bar Service there. Like this article it was a rushed 2.5/5 – Need more staff and bars last minute decision that everybody Crowd regrets. “For those who can’t afford a taxi for two, they now have beds...” 2/5 – No one ever really goes The night we made it to there, we wonder why? Twentyone, it was raining; it always queue which is long and blocks the bouncers put an immediate stop to any seems to rain when you go to Twentyone, ladies toilets. This congestion gives sci- fun activities on the dancefloor. They’re Scoring ability anybody else ever noticed this? Maybe ence students ample opportunities to especially harsh in respect to having 3.5/5 – Possible only if its this is because the queues unwelcoming- stalk the ‘ladies’. Ladies toilets are drinks on the dancefloor with a quick Fresher’s Week and ya wanna get ly long, and rain-soaked. They could slightly better than average with larger pinch on your arm and a guiding hand mirror are - this is a requirement as we off the dancefloor. your ‘wink wink’ realise this and actually let people in a Music rate of more than one per minute! When sometimes need time to reapply after the On the upside, the new name the long arduous wait is over, you meet rain. The Men’s toilets are plentiful but a change has seen the knocking down of 2/5 – General pop and they never the dullest banterless bouncers. They bit of squeeze; you get quite close to the dancefloor divide wall that was just do requests for the ladies seem to have a dislike for when you your neighbour but this homoerotic ten- pointless. Other “improvements” include Toilets don’t have ID with you, but eventually sion is eased by the ‘manly’ Ross the new podiums that allow the ever so O’Carroll Kelly (Southside Legend) prominent B€$$ girl to flaunt her stuff, 4/5 - We like their toilets let you in, purely to fill their minutely Bar Prices quota. extracts from his weekly but then again how often is anyone ever Then you’re faced with the column. seen in XX1? 3/5 - Sometimes cheap imitation ‘death-trap stairs’, which for those with The next disappointment that We’ve all had a visit or two to drinks, heading in the right direc- walking -down-stairs difficulties while Club Twentyone offers us is the bars. the intimate corners back in the day and tion though with student night. sober is not a welcome sight. Combine There are only two for a venue of 1000 now they have made life easier on all people. In the main circular bar, it’s those who cant afford a taxi for two back Smoking Area this phobia people have with stairs and 1/5 - Pretty appalling but at least throw in the rain and you have literally a elbows and fists in the usual scrum to get to theirs - they now have beds. These deadly combination. At the bottom of a drink, while in the lesser known side beds make the alcoves that bit seedier, you can lick hand stamps so oth- these death defying stairs, you’re faced bar there is civil queuing to get a refresh- and stains have been seen on the tasteful ers can at least get in free with yet another banterless bouncer, who ing beverage or five because that’s how coverings (unlike the acts that occur on Beds enforces an extortionate entry fee onto many you’ll get to avoid coming up them). again. This is no fault of the bar staff, but They are trying to make it more 4/5 - Where else has nice beds in you. This fee is constantly high and not a nightclub? Stains bring it down in tune with the rest of student prices. when busy they could really do with appealing to us students with a designat- You are really starting to wonder what another bar or two. ed student night with drinks allegedly a mark though. you’ve let yourself into. Then you see Club Twentyones’ dancefloor €3, although we’ve all been seduced by OVERALL SCORE = 22/50 inside... should be a breakdancers dancing para- similar unfounded promises by these A bad place now slightly better The layout is badly organised, dise, but most likely like us you have guys before. And now for the part you never seen this occur. The tyrannical won’t read….it’s open Monday to but why do societies insist on which is apparent from the cloakroom having nights out here? 16 Bits and Pieces TNT What’s burning up the TNT Office this issue... . Kanye West featuring Adam Levine - Heard ‘Em Say It is a measure of how fantastically cool Kanye is that he can take that gimp of a lead singer from Maroon 5, stick him on a record and make it sound this good. Arctic Monkeys - When the Sun Goes Down Hot hot heat Didn’t really get the appeal of ‘Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’ but this Streets-soundalike is way better. Funny too. ‘Anchorman’ quiz in the Buttery last week All Time Love - Will Young Whammy! The cult following Will Young was recently voted Sexiest Male Celebrity by Heat magazine. We can think of no better of the legend that is Ron endorsement. Burgundy saw a packed Buttery for this quiz. More please

Separated at Birth It’s time for... The cafe in Habitat For a tenner you can get some Utterly Useless seriously excellent food. We rec- Facts of the Week! ommend the chicken caesar thing 1. Tom Dillon,the Deputy Pres Facebook vs Bebo of the SU has given blood (his Which is better? Rate your own own, we presume) so many popularity (or lack of) times that the next time he Damien Dempsey playing Provost of Trinity College Fast food mogul Colonel does, they’re actually going to the Buttery Professor John Hegarty Sanders from KFC give him a gold pin for doing it. Makes us all feel a bit Damo always puts on excellent One is an iconic white-bearded marketing phenomenon, guilty here. live shows. Go early to get a seat famed worldwide for taking a second rate chicken joint and New series of Desperate 2. There’s a holy well under cutting costs unrelentently until he had single-handedly trans- Housewives the Nassau Street entrance to formed it into a world beating corporate empire, capable of Now that the novelty’s worn off college called St. Patrick’s Well churning out thousands of chickens every year, with outlets as it’s become sadly clear how far away as India. And the other is... Colonel Sanders! ungood it is 3. The human brain continues (Baddum-tcch! Thanks folks, we’re here all year). Yes it’s sending out electrical wave sig- Professor John Hegarty, Provost and Colonel Harland Business students nals for up to 37 hours after Dull capitalists who speak in that Sanders, Legend. Both ruthless businessmen, hell bent on death ensuring their legacy to their organisation with little regard ridiculously off-putting manage- ment speak. And we’re not just for those who dare to cross their path on their road to glory, 4. All mammals have tongues jealous cos they’re going to make whether it’s millions of chickens coated in the special sauce more money than us. or most of the Trinity Economics department. Both men are 5. Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have also proud purveyors of the oddest beards we’ve seen since a belly button Rugby losses well, puberty. Gentlemen, we salute you. The rugby first XV’s perform- 6. A guidedog can’t tell a green ance in the All-Ireland league this light from a red one. It watches season. Sorry boys, we know the traffic to know when it is you’re trying but come on, one safe to lead it’s master across. win?! Psst... No heating in House 6 Clarification: Seriously, we’re freezing our Although candidates haven’t apply to other candidates, but In the last edition of TNT, there asses off here. even been officially it’s rare to hear someone was a reference to Fair City in announced yet, one of the being so open about it). the article ‘Beauty is in the eye Ice ice baby runners in the Presidential Unfortunately, those in the of the beholder’ on the Fashion race has been talking about know don’t rate his chances page. This comment was added how he’s just in it for his CV at all - looks like he may be in at the editorial stage and was and figures he’s going to get looking for that job sooner not that of the article’s author. Apologies for any offence this a decent job out of it. (And than he thinks... may have caused yes, we know this could