Halacha Summary of 3 Weeks and Tisha B’Av

A practical halachic summary based on the Shulchan Aruch, Poskim, and Halacha Shiurim of Rabbi Bezalel Rudinsky, based on Ashkenazic custom.

Compiled by Heshy Friedman [email protected]

PART 1: THE 3 WEEKS

Restrictions of the 3 Weeks

General restrictions during the 3 weeks:

• Getting married • Music and dancing • Shaving and haircuts • Buying new clothing and making a Shehecheyanu • Placing oneself in a dangerous or compromising situation

Start of the 3 Weeks

• The restrictions of the 3 weeks, such as haircuts and music, start on the night of Shiva Asar B’Tammuz at Tzais Hakochavim. One may be lenient during Bain Hashmashos. • Making a wedding or observing other leniencies on Leil Shiva Asar B’Tamuz may only be done if they are a Tzorich Gadol and qualified by a competent Rav. • Showering/bathing, anointing oneself with oil/lotion, and marital relations are permitted on Shiva Asar B’Tamuz, although a Baal Nefesh should be stringent (with the exception of Tashmish Hamitta on Leil Tevila which is an obligation.) • It is preferable not to take a haircut immediately prior to the three weeks, as coming in to the three weeks with freshly groomed hair detracts from the spirit of Aveilus. • This stringency is only by haircuts, and not by shaving, which one generally does daily.

Fasting on Shiva Asar B’Tamuz

• One who accidentally eats or drinks on a fast day should still finish the fast day as usual without continuing to eat or drink. • The prevalent custom is for pregnant or nursing women not to fast on Shiva Asar B’Tamuz. • One who is ill does not fast on Shiva Asar B’Tamuz.

Shaving and Haircuts during the Three Weeks

• Women may trim excess hair for Tzniyus during the three weeks. • One may not cut the hair of a child during the three weeks. • One may shave or trim his beard if he must do so for work, but should consult with his Rav. • One may trim his moustache if it is interfering with his eating.

Shehecheyanu and New Items during the 3 Weeks

• Purchases that require a Shehecheyanu should be avoided during the 3 weeks. • A Shehecheyanu is permitted for a new fruit on Shabbos, up until Rosh Chodesh Av. • Purchasing items that don’t require a Shehecheyanu (or Hatov U’meitiv) is permitted during the 3 weeks. • Any item that is a functional necessity, such as a new car if an old one breaks down, or a washing machine, would be permitted to purchase during the 3 weeks. • One should postpone the purchasing of any non-essential item (such as sporting goods or luxury items that one doesn’t need during the 3 weeks), even if they don’t require a Shehecheyanu but still provide enjoyment. • If an item is on sale or won’t be available after the 3 weeks, it may purchased if it is an essential item, but usage should avoided until after the 3 weeks.

Music during the 3 Weeks

• One may not listen to any form of music during the 3 weeks, including live music, tapes, CDs, or digital music. • A cappella music should equally be avoided, as it sounds like regular music and provides Simcha. • If one suffers year-round depression and gets uplifted from music, listening to music would be permitted for such an individual. • Music is permitted for someone who is driving and is tired, and needs the music to stay alert. • Background music (i.e. music in a store, while waiting on hold, or during a commercial) does not constitute a problem and one need not avoid being where the music is playing. Additional Stringencies during the 3 Weeks

• The Shulchan Aruch states that one should avoid walking alone between the 4th and 9th hour of the day (Sha’os Zmanios.) This ranges from late morning to early afternoon. • This is only in remote areas that are outside of populated areas where other people are not present. Traveling on the road or hiking where others may be present would not be a problem. • One should avoid any dangerous sport or activities during the 3 weeks. • One who has not yet gone swimming during the summer season prior to the onset of the 3 weeks may still go swimming during the three weeks for the first time.

PART 2: THE 9 DAYS

Stringencies of the 9 Days

• One should postpone a court date in a non-Jewish court until after the Tisha B’Av. • When possible, one should try to postpone new business deals until after the 9 days, unless there is a risk of losing the deal. • One may not do any leisure gardening; however, removing weeds and standard maintenance is permitted. • There is a Machlokes whether cutting fingernails are permitted during the nine days. One should be stringent unless it is Tzorech Mitzva such as for Erev Shabbos. • One may not wear new articles of clothing, even on Shabbos, during the nine days.

Laundry during the 9 Days

• One should Lichatchila complete all laundry washing by Shkiya when Rosh Chodesh Av arrives. • When putting on clothing to make sure they are “pre-worn” prior to the 9 days, one must wear the clothing for at least several minutes, and may not just put them on and take them off. • When putting on clothing to wear before the 9 days, one may put on several layers at a time. • One may spot clean an individual stain on his clothing during the 9 days. • Clothing may not be given to non-Jewish cleaners during the 9 days, even if they will not be picked up until after the 9 days. • Sheets or baby clothing that are dirty may be washed during the 9 days.

When to Stop Eating Meat and Wine

• One may not consume meat or wine after Shkiya before Rosh Chodesh Av. • However, if one started the meal prior to Shikya, and it extended past Shkiya, he would be permitted to continue eating until Tzais Hakochavim. • On Shabbos Erev Tisha B’Av, one may consume meat or wine during Shalosh Seudos after dark until Birchas Hamazon is recited.

Meat and Wine during the 9 Days

• Pareve food cooked in a Fleishig pot is permitted during the 9 days. • Chicken dishes and grape juice are not permitted during the 9 days. • Food cooked with meat or chicken, such as chicken soup, is not permitted during the 9 days. • Different opinions exist for Havdalah during the 9 days and whether one uses wine/grape juice, Chamar Medina such as beer, or gives it to a child to drink. • Rabbi Rudinsky follows the opinion to use wine/grape juice, and that the adult making the Havdala drinks it. • In order to eat meat at a Seudas Mitzva, one should know the Baal Simcha, and would attend the Seudas Mitzva even if it was not the 9 days. • A Siyum with meat should only be made if one happens to finish his learning during the nine days and would normally celebrate a Siyum with meat during the rest of the year. • One who did not attend a Seudas Mitzva may not eat meat delivered to him from the Seudah. • When making a Seudas Mitzva during the week of Tisha B’Av, one should limit the amount of guests eating meat.

Showering and Bathing during the 9 Days

• One may shower Erev Shabbos Chazon, though it is preferable to shower closer to Shabbos. • Showering during the week is permitted if one is sweaty or is dirty. • When showering, colder water should be used to limit enjoyment in the shower. • One may wash his face, hands, and feet during the nine days with warm water anytime. • Women going to Mikva during the 9 days do everything the same as they do during the rest of the year. • Men that go to the Mikva daily or weekly may continue to do so during the 9 days. • However, men that only go occasionally should not go during the 9 days, even on Erev Shabbos. • Swimming and all watersports are prohibited during the 9 days.

PART 3: TISHA B’AV

Seudah Hamafsekes

• The prevalent Minhag is to eat a full meal prior to the Seudah Hamafsekes, recite Birchas Hamazon or Brocha Achrona, daven Mincha, and then eat the Seudah Hamafsekes. • Only one cooked dish should be eaten during the Seudah Hamafsekes. The prevalent custom today is hard-boiled eggs. • Additional non-cooked items, such as raw vegetables or fruits, may be eaten at the Seudah Hamafsekes. • The prevalent Minhag is to eat toasted bread with salt, dipped in ashes. • One sits on the floor during the Seudah Hamafsekes, but need not remove his shoes until the fast starts. • Both men and women observe the Seudah Hamafsekes if they will be fasting. • Three men should not eat a Seudah Hamafsekes together, to avoid requiring Zimun. • There is no Seudah Hamafsekes when Tisha B’Av falls out on Sunday or is a Nidcheh. • Eating is permitted after the Seudah Hamafsekes prior to Shkiya, as long as one does not have specific intent to start observing the fast.

Learning on Tisha B’Av

• The Rema cites the Minhag not to learn on Erev Tisha B’Av, except for the items permitted to learn on Tisha B’Av itself. • Many Poskim argue against this Rema and permit learning on Erev Tisha B’Av. • L’Halacha, it is preferred to learn Tisha B’Av topics on Erev Tisha B’Av, but one may be lenient if he desires to learn other material. • Although it is not permitted to learn on Tisha B’Av, one is allowed to learn the Sugyos of the Churban and Dvarim Ha’roim, as well as all of Hilchos Tisha B’Av. • According to many Poskim, there is an obligation of Talmud Torah on Tisha B’Av to learn the above topics. • One would only be exempt from Talmud Torah when fully absorbed in the Churban, but today people are generally not on that level.

Fasting on Tisha B’Av

• Nursing and pregnant women are required to fast on Tisha B’Av, unless they are feeling ill. • A woman within 30 days of childbirth does not fast on Tisha B’Av. • We follow the ruling of the Poskim that hold that pregnant and nursing women are exempt from fasting on Tisha B’Av Nidcheh. • One who is ill and unable to fast may eat regularly, and need not eat in minimum Shiurim.

Washing and Anointing on Tisha B’Av

• One may wash his hands or body if they are dirty. • Netilas Yadayim and washing after using the bathroom are done up to the knuckles, in the same manner as on Yom Kippur. • One who moves his bowel washes his hands fully with soap afterwards. • One may apply deodorant on Tisha B’Av. • One may use moisturizer or cream to heal dry skin on Tisha B’Av.

Leather Shoes on Tisha B’Av

• Although all non-leather shoes are permitted, shoes that have a soft bottom where one can feel the ground (such as slippers, crocs, and flip-flops) are preferred. • Even children who are not fasting should avoid wearing leather shoes.

Greeting on Tisha B’Av

• One may not greet a friend on Tisha B’Av, including saying “Good Morning.” • However, saying “Hello” is permitted. • One needs to be careful not to offend anyone by ignoring them because of this Halacha. If one is greeted, there is an obligation to respond, though it should be done in a lower tone than usual.

Tisha B’Av Activities

• One should not look to do things to kill time on Tisha B’Av, but rather spend time on things that are appropriate within the somber nature of the day. • One should not go for a walk, take a leisure shopping trip, or chatter idly on Tisha B’Av. • Regular household activities such as food shopping or preparing meals may be conducted. • The Rema states the custom to visit a cemetery after leaving from Shul on Tisha B’Av morning. Working on Tisha B’Av

• One should preferably take off from work on Tisha B’Av. • If one cannot take off the entire day, he should take off at least until Chatzos. • Any Melacha that includes involvement should also be avoided on Tisha B’Av. • One who does work on Tisha B’Av will not see Siman Brocha from that Melacha. • One may have a non-Jew do work for them on Tisha B’Av.

General Tisha B’Av Laws

• Since the Talis is not put on until the afternoon, one should make a Brocha on Tzitzis upon donning a Talis Katan in the morning. • One should limit his comfort level when going to sleep on Tisha B’Av, such as reduce the amount of pillows he is used to. • When Tisha B’Av falls out or is observed on Sunday, Havdala is said on Sunday night on a cup of wine or grape juice. The Havdala is only composed of Hamavdil and Borei Pri Hagafen. • If one forgot Nachem or Aneinu in Shemoneh Esrei, and already finished the Brocha, he does not go back or repeat Shemona Esrei.

After Tisha B’Av

• Our general Minhag is to wait until after Tisha B’Av to do Kiddush Levana. • All activities prohibited during the 9 days and three weeks may be resumed the day after Tisha B’Av at Chatzos. • If Tisha B’Av falls out on Shabbos and is Nidcheh, one may wash laundry, take a haircut, and shave immediately after the fast ends on Sunday night. • During a Nidcheh, one need not wait until Chatzos to consume meat and wine, but still needs to wait until the morning after Tisha B’Av. • When Tisha B’Av falls out or is observed on Sunday, Havdala may be made on grape juice. • When Tisha B’Av falls out on Thursday, one may bathe and take a haircut/shave on Friday morning and need not wait until Chatzos.

PART 4: REMEMBRANCE OF THE CHURBAN DURING THE YEAR

Zecher L’Churban on a Home

• When building a new house or renovating, a square space of 1 Amah (approximately 1.5 – 2 feet) must be left unfinished as a Zecher L’Churban. • This also applies when repainting a home. • One who purchases an existing home does not need to make a new Zechur L’Churban until doing a renovation or painting. • However, if purchasing the home from a Jew who should have had a Zechur L’Churban, one should add a Zechur L’Churban in this case. • The preferred location is on the wall opposite the door of the main entrance, so that the Zechur L’Churban is visible upon entering the home. • Other opinions hold that the position of the Zechur L’Churban is directly above the door so that it is visible to the people inside the house. • Hanging a picture or artwork that reminds oneself of Yerushalayim does not suffice to satisfy the Halachic requirement of Zechur L’Churban.

Additional Items that are Zecher L’Churban

• The Shulchan Aruch states that when setting a table for a meal, to leave an empty area with something missing as a Zechur L’Churban. This Halacha is generally not practiced since our meal structure differs today and the missing item will not be noticed. • The Shulchan Aruch also states that when a woman goes out wearing her fine jewelry, she should wear one less item as a Zechur L’Churban. • When a Chassan gets married, he takes ashes and places them above his forehead at the place where he puts on Tefillin prior to the Chuppah. • When breaking a cup at a wedding as a Zechur L’Churban, the cup should be complete and not have been broken or cracked before. • Chazal also prohibited Chassanim from wearing any crown, and Kallos from wearing gold or silver crowns, as a remembrance of the Churban.

Music all Year

• All forms of music, even non-live music, are Halachically problematic to listen to all year round, as Chazal prohibited them as a Zecher L’Churban. • In today’s day and age when music is used to lift our spirits, there are leniencies, and this is what general Minhag Ha’Olam relies on to listen to music today. • However, a Baal Nefesh should be mindful of this Halacha and avoid situations of listening to excessive music. • While it would be difficult to prohibit going to live concerts today, a Baal Nefesh should be Machmir and avoid attending such events except during a Seudas Mitzva or Yom Tov.

Kriyah upon Seeing the Makom Hamikdash Yerushalayim

• There is a debate among Poskim whether one does Kriyah when first seeing Yerushalayim (i.e. the Old City) and Arei Yehuda since they are now built up and populated by Jews. The prevalent custom is to do Kriyah only upon seeing the Makom Hamikdash (i.e. the Kosel Hama’aravi.) • When one first sees the Makom Hamikdash for the first time in 30 days, he does the Kriyah by ripping his shirt a Tefach. • When doing the Kriyah, one should preferably do the ripping with his hands and not a utensil, and should do so while standing. One should also rip on side of his heart which is the left side. • It is not appropriate to borrow someone else’s shirt to absolve yourself from doing Kriyah. • Kriyah is not done on Chol Hamoed or Erev Pesach. There is a debate among Poskim whether Kriyah is done on Erev Shabbos or Erev Yom Tov after Chatzos. One should follow the guidance of his Rov. • Children under Bar/Bas Mitzva do not perform Kriyah.