The SAMS Lyceum of Martial and Societal Antediluvian Chronicles An addendum to The SAMS Sporran August - 2021 August is Admit You're Happy Month August 1- National Raspberry Cream Pie Day August 2- National Ice Cream Sandwich Day August 3- National Watermelon Day August 4- National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day August 5- National Oyster Day August 7- International Beer Day August 10- National S'mores Day August 12- Annual Perseid Meteor Shower - Peak Night August 13- Left Handers Day August 14- National Creamsicle Day August 19- National Potato Day August 20- World Mosquito Day Sir Ronald Ross linked Malaria w/mosquitos August 21- National Spumoni Day August 24- National Spumoni Day August 25- National Banana Split Day August 28- Stuffed Green Bell Peppers Day August 29- More Herbs, Less Salt Day- you need this after all that ice cream. August 30- Toasted Marshmallow Day August 31-National Trail Mix Day

How The Thistle Became Scotland's National Flower There are many Scots (mostly those not currently residing in Scotland) and the unfortunate non-Scots who have expressed some curiosity as to why Scotland chose to venerate a small prickly weed as it’s national flower. To begin with Scotland is not alone, Lorraine a province in Northeast France also holds the thistle in high regard. As a matter of note like the Scots and their world renowned cuisine, the Lorrains offer quiche and andouille and of course wine. Secondly, there are some historical/cultural anecdotes that include the humble Thistle. One of the best-known thistle legends takes place in the mid 13th century during a surprise invasion by the soldiers of the Norse king, Haakon, at Largs near Ayrshire. The story has it that after coming ashore this Viking force planned to creep up on the Scottish Clansmen and Highlanders and overcome them while they slept. To achieve complete surprise the Vikings decided to creep forward sans footwear. The stealthy barefoot Vikings were advancing toward the sleeping Scots barefoot. Unbeknownst to these unwary invaders, the ground they traversed was covered with thistle flowers. When the Vikings bare feet came down hard on a Scottish thistle their cries of shock and pain were enough to wake the sleeping Scots. Leaping to their feet, grabbing their trusty longswords (and remembering to don their shoes) the clansmen charged into battle and the rest, as they say, is history. This is where history and legend delightfully merge. There was indeed a battle at Largs. According to Norwegian legend, on the night of 30 September AD1263, Haakon Haakonarson, King of Norway, sailed to Scotland to assert his claim. During a bout of particularly stormy weather, several Norwegian vessels were driven aground on the Ayrshire coast, near the present-day town of Largs. On 2 October, while the Norwegians were salvaging their vessels, a main Scottish army arrived on the scene. Composed of infantry and cavalry, the Scottish force was commanded by Alexander of Dundonald, Steward of Scotland. The Norwegians were gathered in two groups: the larger main force on the beach and a small contingent atop a nearby mound. The advance of the Scots threatened to divide the Norwegian forces, so the contingent upon the mound ran to rejoin their comrades on the beach below. Seeing them running from the mound, the Norwegians on the beach believed they were retreating, and fled back towards the ships. Fierce fighting took place on the beach, and the Scots took up a position on the mound formerly held by the Norwegians. Late in the day, after several hours of skirmishing, the Norwegians were able to recapture the mound. The Scots withdrew from the scene and the Norwegians were able to re-board their ships. They returned the next morning to collect their dead. The Scottish version contains similar references with the exception that it was Scottish archers who held the Vikings at the beach until Alexander arrived. Hence he anguished cries of the Norwegians. The fierce battle on the beach resulted in serious losses on the Viking side. And despite several assaults from the Vikings the Scots controlled the high ground. The Vikings withdrew to what remained of there ships. The next day under the watchful eye of the victorious Scots they returned to gather their dead and burn the beached vessels. Following the battle, negotiations began that resulted in The Treaty of Perth in which Norway ceded The Hebrides and Mann to the Scots while the Norwegians retained Orkney and Shetland. Yes, the ground was covered with thistle flowers.

The Battles Lost - Why the Scots Lost Their Independence This journal has often portrayed historical battles that featured Scottish victories, and there were many. This belies the fact that Scotland is not independent and hasn’t been for centuries. So despite their valor, honor, their fighting skill, the righteousness of their cause, they lost their freedom. Historically the Scots were adept at small skirmishes, hit and run tactics, think of the Border Reivers. But when it came to large scale conflicts they frequently came up short. The reasons can be attributed to many factors; internal divisions, incompetence of the leadership, a small nation versus a larger one, Lowland versus Highland, religion or any one of a number of other factors. However, the underlying theme seems to be a failure to learn from one’s mistakes. you are probably familiar with the phrase, “History repeats itself because we weren’t listening the first time.” This could really be Scotland’s unofficial motto. Initially, Scottish armies were mostly cavalry. The landed gentry composed the heavy cavalry, i.e. chainmail, swords and lances. The light cavalry were basically Reivers. They rode smaller horses capable of traveling long distances swiftly and were arrayed with weapons more suitable to guerrilla warfare like lances and bows. With more and more English invasions the typical Scots army evolved into one composed mainly of footmen, the untrained crofters and fisherman of the noble’s estates. They brought their own weapons to battle. These weapons ran the gamut from handmade farming tools, tree limbs studded with sharp steel or glass shards, to 12 foot long pikes and swords. One of which might have been, but not limited to, the Scottish longsword. The Scots also relied heavily on 'slingers' (think of David and Goliath). Then there seemed to always be an insufficiency of cavalry (mounted knights), archers and targs (shields). This proved to be their Achilles Heel. They failed to adapt to changes in warfare. Another factor would also be that there simply were more English than there were Scots. Romantic history always has the Scots charging downhill shouting loudly and wildly swinging their swords in the idealistic Highland .Oh nay not verily so! Historically the standard Scottish battle formation was the schiltron. It was usually circular with the front rows of soldiers kneeling with their butts planted in the ground, pikes slightly elevated facing outward. (Think of the paintings depicting the “squares” at the battle of Waterloo.)The rear ranks leveled their pikes over the heads of their comrades. This created a thick-set grove of spear points virtually impenetrable to both cavalry and foot soldiers. It proved useful both in defense and offense. After fending off the attacks the schiltron would slowly advance, driving the enemy from the field. The schiltron had one glaring weakness, i.e. arrows. Many battles were lost simply because the Scots had no defense against archers. At this time archers were considered to be the single most valuable part of an army. (The universal symbol of ill will in the UK and its territories is not a solitary middle finger lifted defiantly but the index & middle finger held aloft with the thumb. This can be traced back to the morbid custom of amputating those fingers of captured bowmen.) To begin with, the famed “English archers” of yore weren’t all English. They were mostly Welsh! The weapon they used the longbow was made from either yew or wych elm. It was referred to as an because it was associated with the English army. If the Celtic Welsh could cultivate archers, why didn’t the Celtic Scots? A skilled archer of that era could fire several (2-3) arrows simultaneously and repeat the process up to eight times a minute. Now consider this. Since the beginning of history, one of the best defenses against archers was a stout shield. Yet this too evaded the Scottish mindset of that time. Time and time again the courageous Scots were simply shot from the field. The Romans used a variant of the schiltron called “The Turtle”. It was square or rectangular depending on the number of legionnaires in the formation. Their version of the schiltron resembled a turtle because the interior soldiers held their shields over the heads of their compatriots while the outside held them vertical, creating an umbrella-like shell, resembling a turtle. It was an excellent defense against archery. The Romans had been in Scotland for several hundred years, it would have been virtually impossible for the Scots to not have seen the Turtle in operation. Yet for some unfathomable reason the Scots never adopted this tactic. This leads us to the Scottish Wars of Independence. Some examples of battles lost in these wars would include: The battle of Dupplin Moor, on 11 August AD1332 about 2,500 Englishmen landed in Fife led by Edward Baliol. These were The Disinherited, nobles who supported the English Crown and lost their land when they were defeated. Near Perth they found themselves facing a Scottish army five to ten times their size, with another army rushing to trap them. The Scots drew themselves into a solid defensive position near the river Earn. The outnumbered English assembled in a narrow valley. In the centre were their dismounted lancers and along the sides of the valley they placed archers. Thus the two forces occupied strong defensive positions. Additionally there was another Scottish army rushing up for the English rear. This left the English force three choices none of which favored them. They could wait and be overwhelmed, attack and be defeated or stage a dishonorable retreat. The Scots had only to wait and victory would be theirs. The Scottish Regent, The Earl of Mar, new to his position, strangely ordered an attack. The schiltron moved forward. Under a steady shower of arrows the first schiltron barely made it to the lancers before it stalled. The Earl ordered a second attack with another schiltron. It foundered on the remnants of the first one. Shortly the valley was filled with dead and wounded Scots. The survivors frantically climbing over the bodies of their fallen comrades to escape the enfallding archery. It became a slaughter. In the end 33 Englishmen died as opposed to (depending on the source) between 3,000 to 15,000 Scotsmen. The following year once again the Sassanachs invaded Scotland. Edward III laid siege to Berwick. The Guardian of Scotland, Sir Archibald Douglas, was sent to relieve Edward’s siege of Berwick.Edward III stationed his army on Haliodon Hill awaiting the arrival of a larger Scottish force. Once again the Scots outnumbered the invaders, this time by more than 3 to 1. The Scots could surround the English or they could attack. There were several options they could have chosen. Failing to learn from their debacle of the preceding year for some inexplicable reason they decided to attack across a marshy moor. Having already marched about 15 miles the Scots were tired and the marshy round only slowed their attack and further drained their energy. As the Scots worked their way through the moor they were met by a hailstorm of arrows for the Welsh archers stationed on the side of the hills. A Scots chronicler wrote that: “--they (the Scots) marched towards the town with great display, in battle order, and recklessly stupidly and unadvisedly chose a battle ground at Haliodon Hill where there was a marshy hollow between the two armies and where a great downward slope, with some precipices, and then again a rise lay in front of the Scots, before they could reach the field where the English were posted.” An English chronicler wrote: “—the Scots who marched in the front were so wounded in their faces and blinded by the multitude of English arrows that they could not help themselves, and soon began to turn their faces away from the blows of the arrows and fall.” Once again the Scots lost the battle. English losses were described as light while the Scottish dead numbered in the thousands, including Sir Douglas and five earls. The next major battle of this war occurred AD1346 at Neville’s Cross. Edward III was successfully campaigning in France. To relieve the pressure King Phillip was experiencing he called upon the Auld Alliance and asked Scotland for assistance. He prevailed upon David II (The Bruce’s 22 year old son) to create a diversion on Edward’s home turf, hoping to draw some of his soldiers away. David immediately marched an army of about 10,000 to stage a devastating foray to Durham, a rich target. Sir William Douglas was foraging near Durham when he was surprised by an English army. On the morning of October 17th, Edward III was an excellent tactician and left a rear guard at home to defend against such an attack. After losing about 500 men, Sir Douglas retreated to warn David. David wisely formed his army behind stone walls fronted by broken and uneven ground and awaited the English attack. They didn’t. Instead they loosed a barrage of arrows against David’s three divisions. The rain of arrows was so effective that David had only two choices, retreat or attack. He ordered an attack across the very terrain he had chosen to impede the English. The division on the right found themselves below the steep side of the valley being showered by arrows. They retreated in confusion. The division on the left however, successfully rolled the English back. But this exposed their flank and they were attacked by the English cavalry and fell back. This exposed the stalled centre, led by the king to attack on three sides and from the air. The end result was inevitable. David, with two arrow wounds was captured hiding under a bridge. He spent the next eleven years in England until the Treaty of Berwick was signed, ending the Second War for Independence. They say history repeats itself because we weren’t listening the first time. 56 years later, on September 14th 1402 at Homildon Hillin NorthUmberland Sir Archibald Douglas, the 4th Earl of Douglas leading a raiding force of 10,000 men was confronted by Sir Henry “Hotspur” Percy, the 1st Earl of Northumberland. Need I go into further detail? The high point occurred when Sir John Swinton led 100 men out of their schiltron shouting, “Better to die in a mellay (melee) then be shot down like a deer.” He was. “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat its mistakes.”

FROM THE MESS DECKS

Scotch Eggs with Fresh Herbs Ingredients: 1lbs bulk sausage meat 3 tbsp. minced fresh chives 3 tbsp. Chopped fresh parsley large egg 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard 5 cups dried breadcrumbs (use crustless french bread) 1 cup all purpose flour 6 large hard boiled eggs, peeled vegetable oil for deep frying Method: Mix sausage, chives and parsley in a medium bowl. Whisk egg and mustard in a bowl and blend. Place breadcrumbs in a bowl. Place flour in another bowl. Roll 1 hard boiled egg in flour. Using wet hands press 1/3 cup of sausage mixture around egg to coat. Brush egg with mustard mixture, then roll in breadcrumbs, covering completely and pressing to adhere. Place Scotch egg on plate. Repeat with each egg. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover and refrigerate.) Add enough oil to heavy large saucepan to reach a depth of 1½ inches. Attach a deep-fry thermometer and heat oil to 325F. Add 3 prepared eggs to oil: fry until sausage is cooked through and coating is deep brown, about 6 minutes. Using a slotted spoon transfer eggs to paper towel to drain. Repeat with remaining eggs. Serve warm with ketchup or mustard. Classic Scones Ingredients: 2¼ cups of self rising flour 1 tbsp. Sugar 2 tbsp. baking powder ¾ cup or more of chilled cold milk 1 large egg 1 tbsp. Vegetable oil butter jam whipped heavy cream Method:Preheat oven to to 425F Sprinkle large rimmed baking sheet with flour. Whisk flour sugar, and baking powder in a large bowl. Whisk ¾ cup of milk, egg and oil in a small bowl to blend. Gradually add milk mixture to dry ingredients tossing until moist clumps form (add more milk by tablespoon if dough is too dry) Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface, kneed gently for several turns until dough comes together. Pat out dough to 1 inch thick round . Using a 2 ½ inch diameter cutter cut out scones. Gather dough scraps; press out to 1inch thickness and cut out more scones. Transfer to a prepared sheet. Bake scones until golden on top and test with toothpick to check if they are done for about 14 minutes. Cool on sheet 5 minutes. Transfer to basket. Serve warm with butter, jam, and whipped cream. MacDaddy Ingredients: 1 strip orange rest 25ml/1floz. Scotch whisky 25ml/1floz. Ginger liqueur lemon zest to garnish dash of bitters Method: Place all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice and stir to mix. Strain into a whisky tumbler over ice, garnish with lemon zest and serve.

SCOTTISH CRACKERS

This section will feature humorous contributions by our membership. If you have a joke you wish to share or you have a humorous anecdote please send it in.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCOTTISH WISDOM

Ne’er draw your dirk when a blow will do it

A Wee Bit O' Scottish Humour The Snake in the Garden or Don’t mess with a Scottish snake. Angus' wife, Sofie had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, she was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and she saw it go under the sofa and let out a very loud scream. Angus (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the Family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, So he screamed and fell over on the floor.Sofie thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when Angus broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital. Sofie still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a next door neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the Sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. Rushing to the scene they accidently started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. A little while later Angus and Sofie were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. Angus asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night. Discretion does not permit me to go into further details of what happened next, but I’m certain your imagination can fill in the blanks.

If you have any questions about Scotland or the Celts to which you want an answer or you have a suggestion for an article or simply information, Please contact me at; [email protected] Thanks.

Do A Buddy Check on the 22nd of Every Month