Introduction to an and the United Kingdom. Online e-meetings and their own lives. Relating a specific incident allows web-based forums also take place as alternatives or members to let off steam. Here, in an FA meeting, FA Meeting supplements to face-to-face meetings. they can speak freely to fellow members who have been through many of the same horrors, who Although the tragedy of drug abuse and alcoholism ~~~~~ understand, who care, and who will respect their is common knowledge, few people are aware of its anonymity. effects on the families of the abusers. People who Welcome to an FA Meeting! have not had to confront addiction in their families Members often share something positive. Learning cannot understand the special hell that becomes a Newcomers find a warm welcome when they enter an that someone’s loved one has chosen to enter a “new norm” of life: daily crises, frequent FA meeting for the first time. They see young and old, rehabilitation program, for example, can give other confrontations, and the hopeless stress of anxiety. men and women—pe0ple from all walks of members hope that their loved ones, too, may choose life―seated together and interacting with each the path of recovery. Sharing our strengths and There are few frustrations to compare with that of other. experiences—the positive ones as well as the negative watching helplessly as loved ones head toward self- ones—can reinforce the mutual bond that draws destruction. As drug abusers continue their Each week a different member volunteers to serve as members together. dysfunctional and sometimes illegal behaviors— the meeting’s “leader.” That person follows an lying, cheating, and stealing from any source approved meeting format that explains FA’s tradition As members unburden themselves, newcomers are available, including families, friends, and of anonymity and the importance of our using first sometimes shocked to hear stories as bad as, or even employers—they often become caught up in the law- names only. Various other members are called upon worse than, their own! They realize that their enforcement system. A wide range of wealthy, to read aloud the five readings that form the basis of experiences aren’t the only tragedies. If newcomers middle-income, and poor families―who in their the FA program. These five readings—About Drug choose to speak, they may sense an encouraging entire lives might never have seen the inside of a Abuse, The Four Destructive Forces, The Twelve Steps spirit and warm understanding. A newcomer may jail—now face the challenge of responding to their of FA, The Twelve Traditions of FA, and Helping— suddenly realize that what he or she thought was a loved ones’ pleas for bail. Hardworking, honest, differentiate the FA philosophy from that of other personal, private horror story is not unique. Everyone conscientious people find themselves drained of Twelve Step programs. at the meeting has had similar experi- ences! New hope and money. members begin to feel they have a place in the During the meetings, members share their personal “FAmily.” Family members are typically too embarrassed and experiences: what brought them to FA, what they ashamed to confide in, or discuss their problems were like before they began working the program, Having broken the ice, newcomers may gradually with, their relatives or closest friends. Although they and how they have changed. People may choose to become receptive to the wisdom gleaned from the may seek counsel from psychiatrists, therapists, speak, or they may simply listen. FA meeting rooms experiences of others. Part of the FA credo is that clergy members, and other professionals, they may are safe havens, where all attendees are free to share members do not give advice; instead, they relate their also find themselves needing more practical help and their personal experiences in a setting that is free own experiences, describe how they have handled support from other people who are coping with the from judgment, guilt, blame, or shame. life’s challenges, and talk about how the FA program same insanity in their own lives. There is an has worked for them. organization of fellow sufferers that offers such Some meetings may focus on one of the Steps or proven and beneficial support: FAMILIES Traditions. Others may deal with a particular topic: As longtimers describe their struggles with trying to ANONYMOUS™ (FA™). perhaps an FA slogan, a piece of FA-approved establish boundaries, refusing to put up bail, asking literature, or a reading from our daily-thought book, their abusers to leave home, or using legal means to More than 400 FA meetings are held weekly Today a Better Way™. Members are encouraged to protect themselves, newer members may feel relief as throughout the United States and in Australia, think about the personal relevance of the meeting’s they recognize the principle that makes such forceful Canada, Costa Rica, Greece, India, Italy, Japan, theme, to share their feelings about it, and to measures necessary: You have the right to protect Mexico, Papua New Guinea, Portugal, Russia, Spain, describe how they have or have not yet applied it in your own well-being and to protect what is yours.

As members talk about the reality of substance abuse To order additional copies of this as a disease, newcomers begin putting their own or other FA literature, admitted powerlessness into perspective as they to find a local group or acknowledge the validity of the “Three C’s”: an online meeting, or to obtain information about starting 1. WE DIDN’T CAUSE IT. a new group in your community, 2. WE CAN’T CONTROL IT. please contact: 3. WE CAN’T CURE IT. Parents and other family members can begin laying FAMILIES ANONYMOUS, INC. their guilt to rest once they realize that no one causes another person’s chemical dependency, no one can control an addict who chooses to use drugs, and no 701 Lee Street, Suite 670 one but the addict can decide to begin the recovery Des Plaines, IL 60016 Introduction process. As members discuss, read, and learn more (847) 294-5877 • fax (847) 294-5837 about substance abuse, they also come to recognize (800) 736-9805 [USA only] and accept that they are a part of the problem! They, to an too, have an addictive disease: the disease of Website: www.FamiliesAnonymous.org codependency. Email: [email protected]

With a greater understanding and a change of FA Meeting attitudes, family members can begin relieving the tensions that stand in the way of recovery―both their own recovery and the recovery of their addicted loved ones.

Meetings conclude with “passing the basket,” in accordance with our 7th Tradition, which states that “all groups should be fully self-supporting.” Voluntary donations, made by the meeting’s ©1986, 2007, 2012, 2018 attendees, help with expenses, such as rent, coffee- Families Anonymous, Inc. break supplies, literature, and donations to FA’s All Rights Reserved World Service Office.

FA meetings traditionally close with members The phrase FAMILIES ANONYMOUS, FAMILIES forming a circle, joining hands, and reciting the the acronym FA, and the FA Logos are “Serenity Prayer”: trademarks owned exclusively by ANONYMOUS Families Anonymous, Inc. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and This pamphlet may be reproduced wisdom to know the difference. by FA groups for public information use only. … followed by a concluding slogan, such as:

Keep coming back! It works! #7016 8/2018