• I i^—mill II ||||ii.

February «, 1991 ART AND MUSIC NEWS PAGE 10 THIS BUD'S FOR UMM MOURNS VALENTINE'S DAY'S SHOCKING HISTORY PAGE 7 FOR GIESKE You!! p. 2 AAMODT BREAKS THE SCORING RECORD PAGE 12 P.14 Construction on schedule More

Corey Quick Staff Reporter fees

Construction of lhe new Slu­ dent Center appears 10 be right on schedule, according lo Plant Ser­ vices S upcrin lend en I Harold Fah I. Boih excellent weather and delivery of materials have kept lhe project on time. For the past weeks, construc­ Wilh the completion orihe new tion has continued on the interior Sludent Cenier due wiihin ihis infrastructure of the building. And calendar year, several questions while work on lhe sile seems to have arisen in the wake of the new have slowed since initial excava­ legislative proposals and budget tion, in fact tremendous advances cuts. In the case of UMM, one have been made and construction piece of legislation has a direct has even moved ahead of sched­ ule in some areas. Director of effect on the Sludeni Cenier. the Student Life Dave Aronson administration, and the sludenls. guided the University Register on The legislation slates lhat if any a lour ihrough the Center last new university buildings are planned, the school for which the building is to be constructed must Steel girders have been pay one ihird of the cost. Ac­ Center. Work on the interior ot lhe structure has been lhe erected partitioning off the vari­ Construction continues on the new Studei cording to University of Minne­ focus of work for Ihe past few weeks. This vit v ot what used to be Student Activities and CAC shows how ous offices and work spaces which sota policy. Ihe Morris campus is [well the work is progressing. Pholo by Julie will be located in lhe basement of responsible for 3/4 of the 1/3. the Center. Plumbing has been It has already been decided lhat installed for the restrooms and a 24-hour study area with pos­ over the nexi week. Upon omiited. Generally, however, the Ihe students will have an extra electrical work is also progressing. mood concerning the projecl re­ sible computer access. The completion of the framework, $17.00 fee assessed on their Finishing work cannot begin un­ Cougar Cafe has doubled in size mains very positive. construction of the roof and en­ quarterly tuition payment starting til the exterior structure has been and an all-campus faculty lounge closing walls will begin. Originally, the Center was fall quarter, 1991. That amount builL has been added. targeted to open in March of 1992. Even though the timetable only pays for the one-third of However, in light of current Upstairs construction has not This week, with the early looks favorable, the budget re­ construction costs assessed to the progressed so far. The walls be- arrival of necessary maierials progress, that dale has been moved mains tight. Some aspects of the Morris campus as mandated by iween the old Sludent Activities, and favorable weather, con­ original blueprints, such as dress­ up to January. Offices and orga­ the new legislation. CAC, and MCSA offices have struction on the exterior super­ ing rooms and walkways into the nizations could begin moving into None of the operational costs been removed, creating a single structure will commence. Sup­ Great Hall and Cougar Cafe, have the building as soon as December longroom. This area will become porting girders will be erected ei Iher been reduced or temporari ly of this year. Fees to p.3 Future of Health Education Work study woes program is questioned

•Jobs hard to find Carrie Hadler on Staff Reporter wilh vigor: have a challenge 'y ^ovt to teach in schools—it in ihis positionn. . . and I am doesn't really correspond with health fitness." Due to the lack of funds, lhe thoroughly appreciative of UM M No final decision has been Universily of Minnesota has to providing me with ihe opportu- made, but if it is dismissed, aGER "tighten its academic belt." nily that they have." filling health fitness will fill iis Changes are obviously expected However, despite Dewald's place. The exact format of this in lhe reallocation of money. As willingness. Dean Betiina Blake possible requirement has not been fortheMoniscampus, the possi­ slates that "lhe minimum of ihree decided, bul it will affect only bility exists lhal the health edu­ tenure lines [arc needed] in order newly entering students. cation major and licensure could to run a good major." And the be terminated. savings do not come by nol An argument was brought up leaching certain classes, but againstthisplanintheopenferum This plan has raised many rather by "not having to invest in held by the Campus Resources & questions among students and more full-time faculty." Planning Committee on Tuesday. administration. But ihis is nol the only reason Feb. 5. The point questioned the The health education program number of new faculty thai would was not chosen because of lack why the health education pro­ gram was chosen. be needed to direct this require­ of student interest. In fact, 31 ment. This was quickly refuted According to Blake. President sludenls are enrolled in the pro­ by lhe Statement that only one ful I Hasselmo has six criteria which gram. Buione thing that is lacking time position would need lo filled. is the number of faculty. a liberal arts program has lo meet, Whai will happen to the Students As of now, the only full-lime and the firsl is centralily or well- currenlly enrolled in the health faculty member in the health roundedncss. Blake also says education program? education major is Lori Dewald. lhal the program lhat exists now But she accepts the rcsponsiblily is "a narrow lypc which leaches If ihe major is phased oul, ihcy Heallhtop.il Paee 2 • Universily Regis. News Spectrum

International news State news

-Winnie Mandela weni on uial on Monday, February 4th. She -The plan for a new federal courthouse, which would be was accused of kidnapping and assault which led to lhe death of a placed across from Ciiy Hall, has aroused mixed feelings. Cily 14-year-old boy. Mandela pleaded innocent and welcomed the uial planneis like the idea of a "downtown government plaza," bul the VaidyWyfrcli as an oppprtunily to clear her name. However, the disappearance of courthouse would cost the city almost $25 million. four defendants is hindering the trial's future. John Wcide

--Expedite Ribeiro, a well-known opposer of Amazon rain .-The Minnesota Medical Association has created 60 forest destruction, was shot and killed Saturday in Rio Maria, "basic" medical services thai would provide a "universal health care Brazil. Ribeiro was the presidcnl of the Farm Workers Union in plan" for ALL Minnesotans. Dr. A. Stuart Hanson, the chairman, Rio Maria. The gunman was unidentified. wants ihe Legislature to consider these services despite the high -South African President Frederik de Klerk announced a plan to updo laws lhat guaranteed 87% of South Africa's land lo whites. Even President Bush called him io applaud him on his

-In Ihe Gulf lasl week, an Iraqi attack on Khafji resulted in AH U need to know twelve Marines dead. It has since been revealed mat seven were killed by a US missile. National news Mcrcdilli McGraih --Benazir Bhutto, former Prime Minister of Pakistan, was Joyce Lsccy scheduled to give a lecture on democracy Monday in the Northrop -A former FBI agent named Richard W. Miller was convicted Audilorium, but had to cancel three lectures in ihe United States. James Gremmels of espionage and sentenced 20 years in prison. He was proven Bhutto, ihe leader of ihc Pakistan's People Party, left immediately guilty of giving documents lo lhe Soviet Union in exchange for for Pakistan after being informed of an emergency session S65.000. Miller is eligible for parole in Iwo years, discussing Pakistan's position in the Gulf war. -A drug resembling heroin has killed 12 people in New -According to the MN Department of Jobs and Training, York. New Jersey and Connecticut. The drug is a surgical unemployment in lhe Twin Cities has increased .8% since lasl tranquilizer called fentanyl, and despite its resemblance, ii contains monih. Economists are predicting lhat June will bring an even no heroin. However, it can be 6.000 times more poieni lhan higher percentage. Unfortunately, thai is ihe same month lhat morphine. 3,800 Universily sludenls will be graduating. Furthermore, from December 1989 lo December 1990, no new jobs were created in the -Six pipe bombs containing methanol were found aliached to economy, iwo chemical tanks in Norfolk, VA on Monday. These chemical lanks were near ihc world's largest naval base, Norfolk Naval Base. -Seventeen members of the Raxa Siudents Cultural Cenier Mililary officials claim ihc bombs were safely disarmed. signed a letter demanding lhal Javier Larach, ihe chairman, be removed. He is accused of severe verbal abuse and was called a -President Bush's new educalion budget includes more "vulgar and abusive dictator." Larach, however, denies thai he said money for cash grants lo college sludenls. arid new guidelines will anyihing offensive towards members and claims non- push most of il to sludenls from low-income families. Losers in The Univtrsily Re&isttr ' i the group. An investigation is underway. ihe already difficult scramble for ihc Pell education grams could be sludenls from middle income families. This ink compiled courtesy of the Minnesota Daily. 19-2211 ettB.i.un 6078.

The University Register will investigate any complaints about Ihe accuracy, fairness and UMM mourns completeness of any articles ' Ihis newspaper. Any article thai is found to be inaccun PAY FOR Dr. Gieske misleading will be corrected MEDICAL und put in this space. If you a professor in lhe political wish to report any inaccuracy SCHOOL. science department, and as di­ or have any son of problem rector of programs in ihe office with ihis newspaper, please of international programs. call 589-2211 exi. 6078 and * Dr. Millard L. Gieske. 59. Today's Air Force offers a A respected leader in profes­ quest to speak to the Editor- professor of political science ai Chief. scholarship program that can lhe Universily lo Minnesota, sional organizations, Gieske Morris, died Wednesday, Jan served as president of ihc Norwe.eian-Arncr can in help pay the cost of medical 30. in St. Paul. Minnesota Political Science Association from 1982 io 1984 Nelson nf Minnc JUS, He school. If selected, you can contin­ Memorial services were held and twice served on iis execu­ ue your present studies — and al 1:30 p.m. Sunday, Feb 3, ai tive board, from 1977 to 1979 Si. James Lutheran Church, and from 1984 to 1987. He for such publiealions as "American Historical Review," stop worrying about how to pay West St. Paul. served as a consultant to the Born May 29, 1931, in Si. "Minnesoia History" and the for them. Participation is based on Governor's Advisory Council VliririiMimlis Tribune. Paul. Dr. Gieske earned a bach­ on State-Local Relations of ihe competitive selection. For informa­ elor of arts degree wiih honors Gieske is survived by his Siaic Planning Agency in wife, Emily, and daughier, Trom Hamline Universily. Si. 1988. tion with no obligation, talk to an Paul, in 1953, followed by his Michelle; son and daughler-in- Air Force representative. Call masicr or arts degree in 1957 As an author. Gieske wrote law Greg and Jodi Gieske, and his doctoral degree in 1965, Sioux Falls, SD; and daughters and sons-in-law Linda and Jim both from lhe Universily of newspapers as the Minneapolis Tribune and Ihc Rochester Post Frcilmg, South St. Paul, and USAF HEALTH PROFESSIONS Minnesota, Minneapolis. Nancy and Brad Nissen. He joined ihc UMM faculty Bulletin. His mosi familiar hook, Minnesota Farmer- Palalinvc, 111; si* grandchil­ COLLECT from 1962 io 1965 and from dren; aums and uncles, Louise 1978 io ihc present, serving in l.aborism: The Third-Party (612) 331-8216 Alternative was published by Sodcrman and Clarence (lieske, ihc political science discipline. both of Wcsl Si. Paul and Mr. He was acting chair of ihc lhe Universily of Minnesoia and Mrs. Reuben Stephens, Division io ihc Social Sciences Press in 1979. His most re­ Winona. Minn; and olhcr rela­ from Seplember 1984 to cent book, "Perspectives on tives and friends. December 1985. Minncsola Politics appeared in He also served in various ca­ 1984. He had several book The family requests memori­ pacities ai the U of M, manuscripts underway, includ­ als be sent to Millard Gieske Minneapolis, including assis­ ing the biographies, Knulc Memorial Fund; University of Minncsola, Morris; 600 Easi tant dean io ihe Graduate Fourth St. Morris, MN, School from 1965 io 1073. as 56267-2113. Febmarv6, 1991 Cougar County Jam Planned Outdoor Center Miller Band and Clint Black, sored solely by UMM student or­ Following ihem will beBleach, ganizations and Morris business encourages growth a Top 40 band. and Civic groups. The CCJC is still in the process of eliciting Cougar County Jam is an out­ The feature band. Menial Gi­ Christ! Grossm door spring festival consisting of ants, is from the Twin Cities. support. Siaff Reporter live music, food, games, and ac- Mental Giants play a wide variety If anyone is interested in being livitiesforpcopleofallages. The of music, from Sinead O'Connor a pari of this event, CCJC meet­ The Outdoor Center a room $ with nearly every outdoor purpose of lhe event is to promote to Faith No More. Theyalsohave ings are held Mondays, 9 pm in necessity from canoes lo frisbees. e office, located in the lower a sense of fellowship between an original repertoire, and have SS 245, or contact co-chairs Jen­ teve.lofthePE Annex (west side), s out sleeping bags, eamping UMM students and members of recently eul an album. nifer Dickey (589-2927) or Jen­ and cooking nece.ssiiieti.packs.wii qdpment, racquets and tells. the community. nifer Glaus (589-4046) for fur­ Other activities taking place on and a number of othcritems.^ ther information. Cougar County Jam is sched­ Saturday inc lude performances by Iheequipnienicanbererited.ou; uled to be held Saturday, May 18, Ihe UMM Juggling Club, the Jazz CCJC is also sponsoring a e rales are extremely reasonable. at Ihe S ie vens County Fairgrounds Combo, and the winners of the Valentine's Day dance in the PE "We're nol hereto make money," slated Assistant Mi Spring Week lip-sync contest. from noon io approximately 6 p.m. Annex from 9:30 to midnight. Olson, "We're here io provide a service to the commu The first band scheduled to Although still in ihe planning Admission is $1 per person or siudents:* SI .50 per couple. Pop will be perform is Northern Zephyr siage, ihe event is being designed eeenicr not only renis out equipment, but sells son; available and door and other pri zes Smoke, a band from Bemidji lhat so as io encourage all community d merchandise includes backpacks, T-shiris, tents,' ikio-an.. plays a wide variety of music, and student groups to participate. will be awarded lo the winners of including tunes from The Steve The event itself is being spon­ . All ai Trips are organized by ihe Center as wetL :d to attend. Fifteen people are traveling to Savanna Ponagc Park the set eekend in February for a winter camping trip. Other journeys to Jobs from p.l Taylor's Falls and Boundary Waters Canoe Area are also being UMM celebrates planned, "I know plenty of freshmen who R«:k-climbingisavaiJab!GCvery Thursday nighl in Ihe PE Center.: don'l have jobs," said Porsha Safety equipment is provided and qualified instructors attend the Winter Week Smiih, commenting on the prob­ lems of location employment. But lutdoor the situation is not hopeless. sculpture judging contest will be r, Da • oiso heldal4 p.m. on thecampus mall. "I've had the same job for three as'grownsinceiisiij-'CiiiiM:isi !';7-< hind.,: pi;iy,seremain, A $5 entry fee will be charged. years now," said Jim Jorgensen, a , number of studenis, faculty. Staff, Numerous evenis are planned The movie "Roger and Me" will senior working in ihe scene shop. otnmun'fiy mei.ihefs !o cvplo.v outdoor recreational activities "1 basically went in and said I for ihe week of Feb 4-9 as siudents be shown ai 7 and 9 p.m. in Sci­ and increaseoutdooi awareness and per.wnal fimess and growth. ence Auditorium. needajob.and the prof said,'Whai at the University of Minnesota, !•• .if .i :•> led i II u\ •(•••? ' ii-- r. j..l .-•• m- :>• ~. . Morriscelebrate ihe annual Winter can you do?'" An old- fashioned sledding party machine, fnc Ou (door Center is also accepting applications for Week. All evenis are free and — complete with a bonfire and Hopefully, lhe situation will ;,ssi^ open lo ihe public. hoi cocoa and marshmallows — improve. For now, however, Comedienne Mary Rowles, a will be held from 9 p.m. to mid­ studenis simply have to try to lo­ native of Duluth, Minn., will en­ night Fri, Feb8. at lhe lubing hill. cate jobs as best they can. annual cost of $17,850. Both po­ acceptable io all. The Morris tertain all8:15 p.m. Wed, Feb 6, Also on the agenda, earlier lhat sitions are lo be sludent filled. Campus Freshman Council in Food Service. Her repertoire, same evening, is a jazz concert at Fees from p.l Also staled lo be paid for by ihe (MCFC), a committee of the noted for its warmth and conta­ 7:30 pm. in Recital Hall of Ihe arecovered. Topayfortheopcra- additional fees isanew curtain for MCSA, has already drafted a gious laughter, includes satire, Humanities Fine Arts Center. tion and maintainance of the the Edson auditorium. resolution to favor a reasonable heartwarming characters, and The week long celebration center, the administration has To cover ihese and other cosis fee increase. song parodies. concludes with the Winter Festi­ proposed io tack an additional needed to implement all other Theincomingclassof 1991 will On Thurs, Feb 7, a broom bail val from 9 p.m. to midnight Sat, amount onto the $17.00 in order planned expenditures, the ad­ be burdened wilh the brunt of lhe tournament will be held from 4 to Feb 9, in Food Service. The to finance the operational aspects. ministration foresees an additional cost, no matter whai the settled 7 p.m.atthcMoms Hockey Rink. Sludeni Rock Musicians Asso­ Among the proposed positions S8-10 will be needed from each Teams must consist of at least ciation will provide live music in in the center are staff personnel student. On Feb. 11, MCSA will be three men and three women. The addition to cartoons, games, for information booths ai an esii- The adminislralion, along wiih having a forum meeting during entry fee is $5 per leam. A snow contests, and door prizes. maiedannualcostofS21,600,and AFRC and MCSA, will have to which ihis topic is expected to be come up with an amount which is addressed. 19.95 Eyeglasses with Contact Lens Purchase Purchase a pair of newly fit soft contact lenses ai regular price and receive a complete pair of clear, single vision glasses wilh plaslic lenses and frame from our exclusive 20/20 Collection for only SI9.95! 512 Atlantic Ave, Morris 589-1300 Midwest Vision =Centers INEXS offers alternatives Persian Gulf peer support group forming INEXS, a local chapter of campus lhat will result in co- vice. Representatives from any BACCHUS (Boosting Alcohol sponsorships of original week­ sludeni organizations are in­ With the will be an interest meeting, and Consciousness Concerning end evenis on a continuous ba­ vited. The meeting is not a in the Persian Gulf, friends and people are free lo come ai University Students' Health), is sis. Among lhe committee's commitment. Any organiza­ family members of the soldiers as they please. This meeting attempting to provide appeal­ goals are creating choices for tion lhal is interested in infor­ may feel a need to discuss their is not a political forum. Il is ing alternatives io alcohol sludenls and establishing a mation or in participating, but feelings wilh people who can merely a place for people lo consumpiion, especially network that will increase co- cannot make ihe meeting can relate to their fears. For this support one another during Thursday. Friday, and Saturday hesiveness among studenis or- contact S.H.O.P at exi. 6074 reason, a peer support group is Ihese trying times. If you have or slop by the office (room 16. forming on Ihe Morris Cam­ any questions, please coniacl INEXS is coordinating a There will be an informa­ Gay Hall, across from Health pus. Our firsl meeting will be Leah Steenberg (#2938) oi Student Action Commiuee to tional meeting Wednesday, Service). Snacks will be pro- on Monday Feb. 11 in Social Zschomlcr (#3756). encourage communication be­ Feb. 13, 4 p.m. in ihe People's Science 238 al 7:00 p.m. This tween sludeni organizations on Room, fourth floor food ser­ Student interviewers needed Join the University

ORL is seeking student in­ due at ORL Friday, FEB. 15. view process from April 2-11. Register Staff Now! put for lhe selection of nexl Interested students must have The individuals chosen will year's Resident staff. During lived on campus al some time, experience what is involved in -Meet new friends lhe firsl round of the selection cannot be a current RA appli­ lhe interviewing process, will -Receive academic credits process an RD. RA, and slu­ cant, should have knowledge of leam more about die RA posi­ -Make extra spending money deni will be interviewing ihe the RA position, and must be tion and will have an integral candidates. willing to maintain Ihe confi­ pan in ihe decision for the Anyone interested in this dentiality of lhe selection pro­ mosi qualified candidaics to fill Phone Joyce Lacey or Bill Ristow at 589-6078 opportunity will need to fill cess. Interested individuals the available positions. For Informational Meeting Feb. 14. 1991 al 4:00 in out an application form avail­ must participate in a naming information, contact ORL (exi. Humanities 211. able ai ORL, starling Monday, session Wednesday, Feb. 20. 7 6475) or Tami Sasman (exi. Feb. 4. The applications are p.m. and be active in ihe inter­ 6478).

.SUBURBS, AmwcA Incentive *•/ BAGHDAD, IRA a program continues HUSH faff [VI ! Tjoe Fal MSP Educational Coordinaior Weekly study skills sessions conducted by Dr. Sebastian To] s Cherian will begin on Thurs­ day, February 7, 1991, from 4- 5 p.m. in Science 259. These laoarj sessions will be on sludy skills, critical Ihinking, prob­ lem solving, analytical reading, flMSH time management, and other college-survival skills. Even though these sessions are coordinated by the Minority riJ BEweeiNi F^i Sludent Program office, they are open to all UMM students. HALVES OF Trt£ For more information, please TrJ B6TtrV££.ri &taY)&tN6% cal! lhe MSP office at 589- SoPee, 601JL. 6095 or 589-6097. TUESDAY & SUNDAY SMORGASBORD Opportunity corner PL22A, CHICKEN AND SALAD BAR

Seniors are encouraged lo register and establish placement ONLY $3.99 credentials wilh The Career Cenier. Internships should be established and learning contracts approved EXPIRES 2-27-91 prior lo beginning ihe learning experience. An 18 minute videotape and other informaiion on UMM's program is available in The Career Cenier. COUPON COUPON Life/Work Planning Workshop topics are available for review on MEDIUM LARGE videotape in The Career Center. Sign up in advance to schedule a topic and equipment. SfNGLE INGREDIENT Summer Jobs with Federal government are contained in Ihc OPM No limit on Che number of pizza: Summer Jobs Announcement. A copy is available in The Career Center. Some application deadlines are as early Delivery , Delivery , as February 15. Materials available in The Career Center. Dine-In $5.99 Dine-in J f m *± y Carry out College of Natural Resources/Department of Foresi Carry out Products is available for review in The Career Ccnier. EXPIRES 2-27-91 EXPIRES 2-27-91 Internship Opportunities received recendy in The Career Center include: -The West Central Experiment Staiion has a paid summer position available for a Crop Pest Management Technician. Deadline May 3. FREE DELIVERY -The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service in Morris has a temporary full-time posiiion .iv.iilable April 1- 585-2102 THE PIZZA RANCH Scptcmbcr27. Deadline February 15. Editorials Everyone is worth something (Never) Born On one hand I was flattered lhat and lime again is accepting he thought I could be so ourselves and our finite, frail young. On the other hand, I condiiion. If Cod has truly wanted him lo know who I created us and if Christ has in the USA? The other evening I attended was, and that 1 had played one truly died for us, then we must a presentation on campus, and year of football (sixteen years be worth something. The before the session began, the ago), and that I was okay. world measures us in all sorts speaker came oul into the What had been hooked was of ludicrous and legalistic ways audience and to visit. He my frail male-ego. There is a without ever knowing who we really are. God not only e everyone h had their s wilh tl looked at me and said. "You sore spot deep inside me that nightmarish creatures lhat ensnare helpless citizens eveiyday on the have broad shoulders, you're a regrets thai I never made it to knows who we are but also local, national, and even the global level. Yes. yes bureaucrats big boy. Do you play the pros, or for lhat matter, lells us who we are. Because from Hades, squatting repulsively behind neal hole counters, gut- football here?" past one year of college ball of this, we leam lhat to the world we may have never made tonously gorging themselves on our daily trouble. I started to tell him no, and and Ihe varsity. My father had it to the varsity, bul lo God, explain who I was, but he was been all-state and earned a full My laiesi experience began, ironically, from my wish lo experi­ not only is that okay, but in already on to Ihe next 'student,' ride lo a major school, and 1 ence the total freedom of living on the open road, backpacking light of ihe cross, we are okay and I felt odd. across Europe. To realize ihis, of couse I would need a passport, THIS SPACE PAID FOR and for that 1 needed a variety of legal documents, among Ihem my I think what had happened One of the most common BYLCM. birth certificate. After a repealed badgering, I finally convinced my was that I had been hooked. Stumbling blocks we face lime mother to trek over to our hometown vault and retrieve it for me. ie reason my mother regards my Birlh Certificate with a lei rship ihc. o have c 3 lose the keys normally reserved for the holiest of relics. I think some­ Letters to organizations. how all of her labor pains were trapped in this 10x12" piece of 1 Lutheran Campus Ministry cardboard. I had never before seen it in my life and was awed in *, helped sponsor and coordinate silence when she reluctantly surrendered it to me. Carrying it in a the Editor activities during "Hearing all manila envelope, I tramped ihrough the snow to the local branch of the Voices" Wed:. Leo Tread- Bureacracy Inc., the county administrator's office. Brandt bashes way lead our weekly discussion Support the carefully surrendered the documents to a prim-looking woman instead of last Thursday on lhe topic of standing behind a white window counter. She inspected each piece spiniualily, and I'm sorry troops not the quielly until she came lo my mother's blessed Birlh Certificate, supports Brandi didn't participate in our when she began to hum quielly to herself. Flipping ii over, she fellowship. Questions aboul government grunted at lhe baby footprint on the back, and said, "This isn't a Dear Editor biblical interpretation and the politics of Ihc institutional real Birth Certificate." Nathan Brandt's editorial Dear Editor church in response io homo­ I beg your pardon," I stammered. response to Kelly Kinney's in We are responding to the sexual parishioners were all It's only a souvenir; obviously you were never given the real sightful and stimulating article article written by "JHS" began with the same posiuvc concerning the Middle East So what you are saying is dial I've been living in ihis country thankfulness lhat 1 shared wiih Nathan, if you wish io be situation. We are part of the for almost twenty years as an illegal alien?" Kelly after worship on Sunday, the fair and unprejudiced' non- so-called Protestors for Peace. She shrugged and handed me the certificate. "We can gel you a January 27. But these mutual homosexual toward gays, I It has been slated that to copy, bul you'll have lo mail away for it. It'll take 5-7 weeks for feelings ended with the words: hope you show ihe same treat­ support the iroops. we have to er.ofci "Many of you so called ment toward "Christians." support the govemmeni and die Of course. 'Christians' may feel it against war. WHY? We have After a few minutes, lhe woman produced a sheet of paper with your deity's will lhat a person friends in ihc forces lhat have the addresses of lhe 50 US slate offices and prices for the document be gay." been sent to Saudi Arabia. Do I desired. As her finger slid down a column searching for lhe price Au contraire mon ami, who you think these soldiers wanted Illinois document (the lovely stale dial pulled this fiendish are you insinuating? I, a We have keys to be placed in a life and death bail and switch on me), I felt reassured; most of the prices were Christian and active Lutheran, situation? NOT! Many en­ around $3.00. Her finger stopped at the only double-digil number take serious offense wilh such to lose! listed for financial means. the column: S17.00 a copy. an accusation. There are many Actually, one soldier was Somewhere in Springfield, Illinois, there arc four people em­ in-dividuals in congregations Dear Editor: overheard saying, "1 was nol aware lhal the army was for ployed to tend one file cabinet and one Xerox machine, a job which fighting against homophobia Mark Shores' humorous col­ rent." Yes, we DO support our could have been done for one fourth the price in any other slate in in the institution known as lhe umn about locking his keys in troops. By supporting we the nation. Apparently, according to Illinois law, either the labor- his car (University Register, realize thai lhe rights of an wracked mother or lhe minutes old infant must identify Ihe sou- 1/30/91) caught my eye be­ These are the "many" who individual are more important cause I have a tendency to do :nir birth certificate for ihe fraud il is and request a genuine one participated in the ordinaiion of than oil. True, we are a that too. Once I even locked i mediately. three ministers in San Fran- counlry lhat relics on fossil die keys into a UMM car on My mother was not at all pleased lo hear that her treasured Birth sisco last summer and support fuels, bul is oil worth more the Minneapolis campus and Certificate is useful only for lining the bottom of parakeet cages, someone like Leo Tread way lhan blood? The Cato Institute had to be rescued by the still wailing to order my passport, dreading my next run-in wiih "Wingspan" Minisu-y al found "a takeover of Saudi UMTC campus police-lalk with ihe red tape demons. St. Paul Reformation or Arabia would give President about tarnished Cougar Pride! There are ihose who say lhat a certain amount of bureaucracy is Saddam Hussein control of neccesary io make our government work. I, for one, am willing to Reconciled in Christ (openly But it is a far worse plight io over 40% of world oil reserves, " e a chance on living without bureaucats. I wonder what office accepting gays/lesbians into have no keys al all. Homeless and he would still control less idles proposals to facilitate this arrangement... iheir congregations). people have reported lhat hav­ lhan 16% of world production." The "many" who work to ing no keys in their pocket or The University Register welcomes raise the social conscience of purse was the mops constant letters from its readers. L others on this campus and and humiliating reminder of no insist on responsible, inclusive longer being a property-owner. Support to p. 16 should: be under 300 words and How fortunate many of us arc, mil si: be accompanied by the author's: nanie. The Ediior-i Chief wiihholds names at his VJ£ f\eR£ AT umrYl her discretion and if valid reasi HAV£6C£M WORKING TOWARD A is provided, reserves lhe righl WCWOfcRirJ& WHAT FULFILLING. Cton6£R,ori condense lengthy tellers, locorreci wH££Lof fof>TU*J€ ftXNT f? - obviriusspcHinganil grammatical rrl IS s, and to reject material of slanderous nature. Lciters must QDD be received by Monday at 3:00 before Wednesilay publica- fQDD : Letters received after this time will be printedin the fol­ lowing week's issue: Address '000 •campus letters to ihc Univer- 5£TTI)J& N£»J TASTe i Register or drop ihem off in STANDARDS Foft \\M1&MM ihc box provided outside of ihc office, located in the Basement of Dummies. ihe Minority Resource Center. Page 6 * University Regis: MCSA

! MORRIS CAMPUS STUDENT ASSOCIATION News Are you eligible? . Gettinq Screwed? Sludent Employment in- basis of eligibility and/or quali- * "^»* ^^ » » • • u^y ^l^^mm ^^ • • ^»W WH • employees paid from University alike in duties and responsibili­ ties are treated alike in all per­ The policies and rules are sonnel processes. Employment formed by the student employ­ opportunities support sludenls' ment committee. Upon approval school expenses and promote of lhe Board of Regents of ihe academic and career dcvelop- Universily of Minnesota these m les govern student employmen I The Student Employment on each campus. There are Committee on Ihis campus will currently 12 rules on the Morris have meetings on the second campus. These rules can be Monday of each month for lhe found in the Regents' Basic remainder of ihc year as well as Policy on Student Employment anyolhcrslhaiare needed .These Then do something about it! and ihe Morris Campus Student meetings will beat 11:00a.m. in Employment Rules which is lhe Behmler Conference room available al the Admissions and except during the month of Apri I, Financial Aid office. whenlhemeelingwillbcailO:00 a.m. These meetings are open io The puipose of Ihe Sludeni Lobby Day '91 all sludenls, staff, and faculty Employmcm Commiuee is ic who may have a question oi a promole effective employmeni suggestion for changing sludeni o'sludenisin University depart­ employmcm on this campus. Wednesday, February 20 ments ihrough a sysiem of Persons unable to go u :h all quali ficd University students are ac- meetings can coniacl Ihis years corded fair and equal opponu- chairCoryWagner.MCSAVice niiy io enicr and continue in Presidcnl for Sludeni Services. MCSA bulletin board University employment on the • MCSA Cordially invites student, faculty and staff inier- money. Cul the coupon in Ihis all UMM siudenis, faculty, and issue. Slop by MCSA for more Inquiring minds siaff to attend a reception in honor • The MCSA Student Ser­ details. Unique to lhe UMM Fresh­ lo panic ipatcaswclalk about al I of Chancellor David Johnson, vices Committee is happy to an­ • The ISTC Office is open man Council (MCFC) experi­ aspects of die Inquiry Program. andhiswife.JcanJohnson. The nounce lhat one of its goals for every Monday ihrough Thurs­ ence is lhe Inquiry Program. Although Inquiry as a class is reception is to be held Wednes­ the year has already been ac­ day from 3:00 p.m.-4:00 p.m., Since lhe Beginning of Inquiry, over for all current UMM stu­ day, February 13, 1991 ai the complished. The Food Service and also by appointment. lhe MCFC has played a major dents, the process of Inquiry H.F.A. Art Gallery from 5:00 building will now be open 24 • Need legal advice? Call rale in the direction I nquiry takes. p.m.-7:00 p.m. The reception hours a day, Sunday thru Thurs­ Elizabeth Hinds at 589-1128 for That is why on Sunday, and improve Ihe course. So if nol only gives the Morris com­ day, for your studying conve­ a free consultation or Northwest February I Olh, at 6:15 pm in the you have strong feelings about munity the opportunity to wel­ nience. Thanks goes to David Legal Service al 800^152-3625. Minority Student Resources the Inquiry program and would come Chancellor Johnson, bul For more information coniact Cenier, room 205, the Freshman like io express them, we'll see also extends our appreciation io • Remember io get your Cory Wagner at MCSA. Council will be sponsoring an you on Sunday. him after several monlhs of hard forms in for the Books for Less • Remember lo use the Ride open meeiing wilh lhe director -David Ness work. The reception will pro­ service, so you can get ready for Board outside the Admissions bf Inquiry. Professor Peter Freshman Council President vide an exec He n l opponuni ly for ihird quarter by saving your and Financial Aid Office. Whelan. We sirongly urge you [~MCSA $Books for Less$~] Smart Students Save!!! Forum meeting notice NAME: PHONE: Monday, February 11,1991 at 6:30 p.m. P.O.: Minority Resource Center Agenda I. Approval of the Minutes V. For Discussion and Action II. President's Report MCSA International Initiative III. Reallocation Discussion: Health Education Major VII. For Discussion: Lobby Day IV. For Discussion: AFRC Appeals VIM. New Business Process IX. Adjournment COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS regarding this page'?'?? All meetings of the MCSA Forum are open to the public. Contact Kim Kantorowicz, MCSA Office, at 589-6086 University Register • Paije 7 Feature The surprising history of St. Valentine's Day

Christ! Grossman Unfortunately for Valentine, ai sign lhat he would protect her. England and other members of erstoalall the special people ii n our Staff Reporter Claudius heard about lhe wed­ What is perhaps the besi- lhe royally were soon to follow by lives, but the average college st dings through the grapevine and known tale of the origin of sending verses of love poelry to dentdoesn'thave oodles of money Dear Cupid, was not a happy camper. He Valentine' S Day concern s a third - iheir beloveds. tospend. Therefore, here are some I don'l quite understand the ordered his soldiers to seize Val­ century martyr, Valentinus, who Nowadays, love poems are suggestionsforthebigV-Daythat concept of Valentine's Day. Ru­ entine and throw him into ihe as a young Christian refused to nol the only things sent lo Valen­ might be more practical - and en­ mor has it that it's a day to share dungeon, which of course they worship what he considered false tines. The exchange of love to­ joyable - for all involved: love wilh a significant other. Bul did. When he died, his devoted gods. While imprisoned, he be­ kens ranges from cards and candy -Write a love sonnet. You what is love? And what if you personal friends (and there were came friends wiih lhe blind to flowers and engagement rings. don'l have to be as talented as don't have a significant other? many) buried him in the yard of daughter of his jailer. According There's just something in the air Will Shakespeare to say how you And whose idea was this whole the Church of St. Praxedes. The to the legend, herestored her sight ai this lime of year that inspires us feel on paper. Just spit it out! burial date? February 14, 270 just a short time before he was thing anyway? to share our feelings with our loved -Serenade him or her A.D. executed on February 14,269 A.D. Jusi call me, ones, and the exchange of gifis is (embarrassment always helps)! She read hisfarewell letter, which Confused Anoiher story of the begin­ one way of showing that. Find a crowded spot - the cafete­ was signed "From your Valen­ ning of SL Valentine's Day dates ria, a huge lecture class - or do the' February 14lh causes people tine" - words thai still remain a Noi everyone hums along lo back long before ihe year 270, traditional, yet sentimental "be- lo wonder (and worry ?) about Iheir symbol of fondness. the tune of "Love is in Ihe Air" at personal lives and loves. The when Rome was nothing more this time of year, however. In- nealhlhewindow"lhing,andsing word "love" seems to be floating lhan wolves, trees.and(itcan'tbe S o as you can see, Valentine's siead, some people find "Why Do your guts out. heavily ihrough the air, and ap- avoided)love. Acelebration.the Day has always been a day for Fools Fall In Love?" or even -Make a Valentine's dinner "Where Is The Love?" to be more with all the food being red and/or appropriate songs. Ifyoufallin heart-shaped. If done coirectly, ihis category, there is no need to this can go over very well (a tip- fear. Valcntine'sDaycanbecel- you can always serve Valentine ebraied among ihe single crowd. M&M's!). -Give your special person a Part of what makes Valentine card with crayons and Valentine's Day so special is thai construction paper. Somelimes "IT'S TBM" TiMd of Y£r\R il is nol jusi a day of loving for the simplest things are ihe mosi WHfcrl HEARTS ARE A'FlOTTER, couples. It is a day to tell anyone precious. SO WE AT THIRD Er\R. lhat you care aboul lhal you are Howevcryoudecidctospcnd ihere for ihem. Unless you have your holiday, keep in mind that it HAtf£ 5CMT XOO A Ho&&£fC thirty "significant others", ihose only comes once a year. Ii's one boxes of Valentine's Day cards day where you can let oul your were made for sharing wiih ev­ deepest emotions, and actually eryone! A simple card wiih a cute have a reason for doing sol cartoon characier could really Wlk-ilior you're a secrei admirer brighicn up someone's day. or an obvious lover, go oul and Ii would be nice if we could lell lhe auihor of your Book of afford to send chocolates or flow-

"How do I love thee?..." pears to slip inio conversations a Feasi of l.upcrcalia, was held an­ love. And romance. nually in February to honor Is mere a difference? bil more frequently lhan usual. tion ships, once a young lady Lupcrcus. a god who guarded all Definitely. Romance is Cher Underwood But why? Whai is so special presented him wiih roscsoi shepherds and iheir sheep from merely a part of ihe whole idea of Siaff Reporter about this day of the year? To find birthday, the first lime he'd dancer and wolves. love. They can exisi separately, lhe answer, we must start al lhe been given flowers. "It bul grow belter when logelher. In honor of the holiday, One of lhe main atuaciions at really sweet," he said. ConsidcrihispoembyJavan.from ihis reporter look a quick sur­ There are a number of dif­ ihis feast was a lottery. Now this was noi ihc "Daily 3" lypc of Mcei Mc Halfway: vey of lhe UMMcampus. The Meredith McGraih ferent theories about the crcaiion swercd lhat her mosi roma thing at all. Instead, a box was In many cases burning qucslion: What's lhe of good of St. Valentine's Day. gifl was when her former boy­ filled wilh the name of single Love lhal blooms quickly most romantic thing someone One of lhe mosi popular dates friend slipped a "Happy Anni­ Roman maidens. Each young man Like Spring's flowers has ever done for you? back to ancient Roman limes, versary" card under her pilli would dra w a name o u t of the box, Wendy WyfTels replied when Rome was under lhe rule of Knows iis season Shedidn'i find il uniil the nexi and wouldcourt lhat maiden forat that her most romantic moment Claudius- the Cruel, that is (docs And Ihen fades day, butaftcrall,it's the thoughi least a year. occurred when her boyfriend lhal seem fitting?). During thai counts. Claudius' reign, there was a When Christianiiy became But love that grows slowly made her a peanut butler and temple where Father Valentine established in Rome, the priests Like the tree jelly sandwich. C h ris Seha n us said lhal h is most romaniic momcri worked. Everyone in Ihe cily did not want iheir people follow­ Gets stronger and stronger Tom Flottemesch said that currcd when his girl friend gave loved Valeniine, and peopleofien ing pagan gods and participating As the years go by most romaniic encounter came from near and far to hear in pagan rituals. Thepeoplccom- when ii eenain young lady him a diamond earring for hi him preach. promiscd, and the result was k mc on a picnic and buill birthday. Hethoughtihaiiiwa And ycl the world "really special." Valentine's Day. Bui even this Has a certain need a fire", alihough he also When wars began io surface Kenderlyn Deveaux' celebration was quite differenl For both lhe flower adds lhal they "never gol in the Roman empire. Claudius mosi memorable romaniic ex from what it is today. And ihc tree around" to eating a thing. began forcing all of the young pcricncc was Valeniine's Day Hmmm... men in the city go and fight for Instead of a lottery of ai home in lhe Bahamas (an Stephanie Thoresun re­ him. He broke up the engage­ women' s names, the box was filled Love and romance, ofc o urse. incredibly romantic spot in it­ plied lhal her most romaniic ments of young couples and for­ wi th the names of differe n t sain ts. are not just phenomena that oc­ self). She received six roses,; n her second dale bade the practice of marriage. The Each young man must choose a curred in ancient Roman times. boxofchocolaies, and a ring. lads did not want to go, and their saint whoseholy life hemustimi- The 90s are still alive wilh ihe wilh her current significant sweethearts begged Ihem to stay, late for the next year. By medi­ emotional fire lhaiburns inside us other, who presented her wilh a William Rislow answered bul Claudius would nol allow it. eval times, the tradition had trav­ and draws us lo other people. giant leddy bear anointed wilh that the most romaniic thing eled to England, and was some­ Maybe, becauseof the dangers of his cologne, so that "whenever ever done for him was wriiing Valeniine was saddened what similar to its origins. The casual sex, love is even more of a him,1 can smell the teddy him a Idler every day. He also when he heard of Claudius'ruling. names of bachelors and maids bear." added lhal he met her because Being a rebel, he secretly per­ he "knocked her up(wcas were drawn in pairs, and lhe The first recorded Valentine Mike Johnson said lhal formed weddings in his temple Valentines exchanged presents. he meant oul) while playing was sent by the Duke or Orleans alihough he is usually the more for ihc engaged young men and The young man wore his broom ball." to his wife while he was impris­ of the twoin his rela­ women in ihe disirici. All of the Valentine's name on his sleeve as couples were elated. oned in 1415. King Henry V of Page 8 • Universily Regisi Arts & Entertainment Chicago Brass

On Saturday, February 2, ihe Chicago Brass Quintel played 10 an enthusiastic and appreciative audience ai the Morris Area Middle School. Composed of five musicians—Iwo mimpets. a French horn, a tuba, and a trombone player-the quintel performed brilliantly. Each tune reflected a perfectly refined work played wiih crispness and clariiy. The iheme behind the concert reflected an al­ ternation in Russian and American composers. In addition, each number was carefully ordered so as to present a variety in rhythms thai kept toes tapping. From Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov to Gersh­ win io Stravinsky lo John Phillip Sousa, lhe concert was sure to please every member of the audience. Besides being musicians, ihe members of ihe Chicago Brass Quiniet are entertainers. Bciwcen each scl of numbers, a member stood and explained what was lo be played, also telling jokes and stories which had every member of ihe audience wearing a smile. The quintel was led mainly by James Matlem, whose wit reflecied the lighl-hcarted altitude and personality of the entire group. The wonderful performance was lopped off by an encore, during which Ihe quintet played lhe William Tell Overture. Wiih this photo by Eric Olson signature finale, ihe concert received nothing but praise from a The Chicago Brass Quintet performed lo a packed house lasl Saturday evening. The show was a great satisfied audience. success, and ihe audience was very receptive. Guthrie's "Medea" a treat But I digress. The reason for Obviously. Ihis does noi sit done io her. Medea sends a Medea was noi made oul to it all was the play- after all, we well wilh Medea. She spends messenger to him to say lhal be an evil, heartless woman, didn'l spend three hours roast­ much of her time weeping and she has changed her mind and bul had strength, courage sen­ ing on lhe bus merely for the wailing over Jason's infidelity wishes ihai he might save her sitivity, and strong feelings of On Saturday, Febniary 2, ihe sake of architecture. We went and the unfairness of every­ sons from being banished love for her children! I Honors Program made a trip to io be enlightened, educated, and thing ihai has happened io her. along with her. She gives lhe sympathized with her, even entertained by this production. lhe Cities to see a production Then, pouring sail in her children a wedding gown and though she had done of "Medea" ai ihe Guihrie The­ We were not disappointed. wounds. King Creon comes gold coronet to take to the unimaginably cruel things - the ater in Minneapolis. Aside For those who are noi along and tells her ihai she and princess in order lo persuade screams of ihe children brought from the fact that I had never familiar with the plot, a bit of her sons will be banished be­ her to let them slay in Hellas. been to lhe Cities (only tears to my eyes, and the gory background. Medea is based on cause in her grief she has Unbeknownst to ihem, the description of lhe deaths of ihrough them on my way to Ihe ancient Greco-Roman Mcsris), I looked forward lo the cursed ihe royal family. Medea gifts are covered wiih a deadly Creon and Clauce were enough myths about Jason. After he pleads wilh lhe King, and he poison, and when lhe princess io make my blood run cold. I chance lo see the theater my has obtained the Golden Fleece stagecraft prof has been raving gives her one day of reprieve. puts ihem on, she dies an ago­ experienced wiih her ihe pain (wiih Medea's help), he marries Jason comes lo try to reason nizing death. King Creon is Medea and lakes her back to his and utter despair of being hurt wilh Medea (and make excuses also killed by the poison when by someone you trusted com­ And whai a theater! The homeland, Hellas. Life is fine and dandy for several years, for his unfaithfulness), but she he tries to save his daughter. pletely. I felt as though I Guthrie is an actor's dream will have none of it. She calls Jason goes io confront Medea traveled with her io ihe brink come true. There are no bad until King Creon decides lhat Jason will have to marry his him every name in the book about.her crime, bul finds ihai of madness, and beyond. seals in the entire house- daughter Clauce, because a for­ and declares that she hales him she has committed a greater Although the average person merely so-so ones. For a ihe- eign woman could nol be rec­ and will not accept his charily. one: she presents him wilh lhe would probably pity her, I did aicr so large, such greal sealing ognized as lhe wife of a Greek. Then she devises a plan to bodies of iheir children, slain not. It seemed to me lhal pity is unbelievable. punish Jason for all he has by her own hands. Thus would be the last thing that Medea exacts her final revenge. Medea would wish for. Per­ The siory of Medea is a haps it is best expressed in her simple one, made iniriguing by Ihe range of human emotions "Let no one think of me as the characters portrayed. I humble or weak or passive; found myself liking Jason, de­ Lei Ihem understand lhat 1 spite the cruelly he had shown am of adifferentkind. to Medea, for Ihe sheer chulz- Dangerous to my enemies, pah he showed in trying io Loyal io my friends. justify his actions, and because To such a life glory be- he obviously had to be quile a man lo handle a woman like Medea. Coming up . . .

Trjntghl • Comedienne Mary Rowles. Food Service, 8:15 p.m.

-Thealre Performance: "Sarcophagus," Black Box

Tlu-j:.,- iuini Saturday)

- CAC mm: "Roger and Me," Sci. Aud., 7 & 9 p.m.

Pholo by Erie Olson - Gallery Exhibit opening; Group Shows, Icons: Jeffrey Allen, a fragment of the five person "Magic Circle," explained lhe tribulations of small town homosexuals in the play Country People. This was included in the very Made In Mlnnesola. HFA Gallery. 4 p.m. (thru Feb. 22) interesting representations of numerous homosexuals' works throughout the decades. "Magic Circle" is a traveling group from the Twin Cities. Fr -Jazz Ensembles Concert. HFA Recital Hal], 7:30p.m. Menagerie - tuna filled No nod for La Cage both governments are chs Meiningens very entertaining and funny down ihc couple, lhe police are seeking Albin for the agent' Vem Malone, who happens to still managed i- It was a film of lhe strange murder, and lhe rustic wilh lhe be the one who was hit over ing. It including an original and bizarre. La Cage Aux hot pants is looking for the head for unwittingly piano work by Michelle Tjer- Folles, a French film by Renalto with a rifle. The Meiningens' Menagerie blocking the tuna aisle. nagel and an excellent rendition United Artist, gums together Does this sound compli lived up to its name, contain­ While the surprise humor of ot Bene Midler's newest song, every possible stock scene and cated? Imagine throwing ing a little bit of everything: lhe tuna connection isn't quite "From A Distance," by Veron­ situation clique around a see- Tootsie, The Odd Couple, and old, new, funny, serious, great, as funny a second lime around, ica Mendiola. thru spy story and an The Rocky Horror Pit mediocre, original and always the rest of the scenes were still "From A Distance" worked introspective look at lhe lives Show together in a blender dolphin free. Tuna (caughi delightful, especially hearing perfectly as an ending, likely of hom adding a dash of James Bond wiihout killing dolphins) was lhe lines I missed lasl lime due the only thing able to usurp trans vesiites. 1 a still a and punching the mince b the closest thing io a common to my own laughter. the last reference to tuna in the loss on how to take the film. ton. It was comparable to theme running through this The next reference to luna. show. Il was an original work It made some serious observa­ of them but it copied none of salt-and-pepper-dash-of-every- which probably doesn't stick en tilled "The Tragical History tions on the prejudices and them. La Cage Aux Folles thing show. out unless tuna was on the of Moliere's Mistress." The hardships of homosexuality and had moments of comic genius as when Albin had to pretend Laughinp Wild opened the mind, came during a scene of premise consisted of lhe idea of transvesiium. bul ihey were so he was a man in front of the Menagerie talking about, what "what if instead of dying on imerscd in absurd situations government men. He else, but luna. In the first act a stage playing the invalid in lhat I had no idea whether to In il every misfit of society is acting the woman playing the crazed woman, played by "The Imaginary Invalid' if both laugh or hold a solemn face. crammed inio one family wilh man; it was fun and enlighten­ Marcy Watzl, lalks aboul many Moliere and his mistress died This is not to say that all only one "normal" daughter. ing. It playfully called the au­ ihings, including hitting a man from eating luna fish sand­ serious subjects should be ap­ This delightful scene made me dience to examine those criterii over the head because he didn't wiches?" proached with a grim counte- cringe imagining having a by which men and women arc move out of the way of the This movie made an family lhat dcmcmed (where an White lhe scene will not go distinguished. tuna aisle. impressive dinner for guests is on to a record breaking run on exireme effort to highlight the absurdities in living life as a People who saw the acting a half dozen bottles of beer and Broadway, ii did tie the show Throughout lhe film Albin dressed as a woman. recital last spring will remem­ tuna fish sandwiches) and ap­ together with one final, crazy, and Renalto are harassed for Perhaps a quick review of the ber Laughing Wild done in a preciate the only occasional reference to tuna. Plus ii ex­ being gay. The governor won't plot will assist me in making similar manner, the two acts oddballness ihai my family, pressed the characters behind help them for fear of being po­ this poinl. separated by other scenes only like every family posesses. the characters which produced litically associated wiih ihem this show. and men threaten violence, bul to return to a second mono­ While the second half of the Albin is a male iransvesiite. worst of all are the thousand logue by a pessimistically de­ show surprisingly lacked tuna He portrays the comic sex staring eyes which are con­ pressed man, again played by references, at least at first, it ddess Za za Napoli. but he, she. is gelling on in age and stantly judging them and prove he, she, is still desir­ pushing them from society. able, tries to pick up a dale. As Albin remarks, "I'm noth­ Renalto, his lover and man­ ing at all not even a hostage". ager, spies on her and watches Renallo and Albin find comfort her go to a hotel with a dash­ in each other bul are rejected ing young man. The man from the rest of the world. It however is a double agent run­ is only on stage as a comic is DAT is O.K. she accepted. It is through ning from the government G- Home Recording Rights DAT in the United Stales for a Shapiro said it is ironic for only using her for a comedy lhat lhe actors and di­ Coalition long time," said Gary Shapiro, this suit lo be filed so soon af­ cover. The agent is shot in lhe rectors bring oul important News Release Chairman of The Home ler a long-awaited study by fiotel room but not before observations on whai it means Recording Rights Coalition Congress' Office of Technol­ slipping her a microfilm cap­ to be a man and woman point­ Washington, D.C, August (HRRC), "and there is no rea­ ogy Assessment (OTA), OTA sule, Renalto and Albin can- ing out some of the warped 29, 1990 - popular consumer son ihey should be denied the found no evidence to confirm call the cops because she is views by which we distinguish practices such as taping an al­ right io enjoy this new for- lhat home audio taping hurts s in a room with another he the two. record sales. To the contrary, bum or compact disc to play ind thai other he is dead. So The acting was marginal. the OTA's study, released in on portable or car stereo sys­ Shapiro said that the DAT is what do they do? They flee. Albin was an exceptional char­ late 1989, found that most tems, or compiling a collection the latest in a line of consumer 't long before the gov- acter and carried the movie consumers tape from albums of personal favorite single elecironies innovations, such (not those of Ihe G- along. I didn't think the movie they already own. The reason recordings on one tape, are as ihe VCR, that have created ) catches up to them and stuck close enough to its given mosi often was portabil­ likely to be the focus of an in­ opportunities for the enter­ decides to use them as bait to comic intent. The very mo­ ity - making lapes for car lapc tense legislative fight over tainment industry as well. lhe G-men into the open. ment when some novel action players, persona! slereos. home taping when the 102nd "Rather lhan hurt the music Before this can work however, or gesture would have made the "boom boxes," etc. The OTA Congress convenes in January business," Shapiro said, "the Renalto and Albin escape to scene, lhe characters turned study also found that most in­ of 1991. tape recorder has opened up Italy and Renalto's home. Al- rious and left the audience stances of home taping do not In fact, several events during vast new markets for everyone Ihcn forced to do wom- hanging. The atmosphere was even involve prerecorded mu­ the current year appear to have involved in music." He slated irk and wail on lhe field extensively developed bul lhe sic; ralher, most recordings arc been a dress rehearsal for an, thai DATs will be valuable not of whom gels the scenes reminded mc loo much only to consumers, but also to made for olhcr purposes such expected campaign to restrict •r her, I of i.v, sitcoms. 1 can't give it the long-established consumer young musicians seeking to as recording lectures, sermons, Tos i up the final scene, a nod. practice of home taping. The make high quality home and family occasions, or taking most recent of these events, a recordings of iheir rehearsals dictation. anil ivrlnrmances. , lawsuit lo bar the sale of a new The OTA found thai, over­ consumer home taping tech­ In Congressional hearings whelmingly, most consumers nology known as ihc digital during lhe summer of 1990 on sec nothing wrong with home audio tape recorder (DAT), was the issue of the DAT technol­ taping and would not favor any initialed ihis past July, ogy, the National Music Pub­ legislation thai would prohibit ECUMENICAL WORSHIP DATs combine the lishers Association, which is it or impose royalties on pri­ Wednesday, February 8, 7:00pm mechanical technology of a supporting the lawsuit to ban vate taping. In fact, ihc sludy VCR with ihc digital technol­ DATs in the Uniied Stales, concluded lhat preventing home testified in support of royalty ogy of the compact disc to taping "would be 'harmful' to Sponsored by produce cleaner sound wiih a laxes on ihe sales of blank consumers, resulting in a ncl and Catholic Campus Minist superior dynamic range. The lapes and tape recorders. loss of benefits to socicly of litigation came as an unpleas­ HRRC has maintained lhal billions of dollars." ant surprise to many con­ noncommercial home taping "In liglu of lhe OTA sludy sumers, audio retailers, and for private purposes is encom­ conclusions, attacks on home members of the manufacturing passed in basic rights of taping arc clearly unfounded and music communities who American consumers, and it and unsupported," HRRC had been encouraged by an has, in past years, helped defeat Chairman Shapiro said, "bul agreement between the various several atiempis in Congress to lawsuits and calls for royally groups on a legislative pro­ enact royalty taxes lhal would laxes indicate that there is no JsCmeuifJV posal, still pending in infringe on such righls. HRRC Chairman Shapiro Congress, to remove any ob­ (The HRRC, established in pointed out that obtaining such stacles 10 lhe introduction of 1981, is a coalition of con­ royalty tax legislation appears dust cwuC (*i-ft> the new technology. sumers, retailers, and manufac­ to be lhe real goal of the ami- turers of video and audio prod- dusty cm, slicdi "Consumers have been DAT lawsuit. looking forward to sales of Page 10 • University Regis* Art and music news of unnecessary material brings archetypal symbols that evoke 1 13. The show will open on one to lhe essence of being. ' a mystery." Dorothy Odland, a Alumni art Sept. 22 and a reception will Hazel Belvo, working in ihe teacher at the Art Center of be held for alumni on Oct. 18 paint media, said, "I am inter­ Minnesota, states that her wanted during Homecoming week. New art exhibit ested in the connectedness of "painted construction are sanc­ Enlry forms and slides and "Icons Made in Minnesota" all things-of synchronicity, tuaries for the spirits thai reside The Humanities Fine Arts selected works may be sent to is the title of the new exhibit magic and the power of the in landscape of dreams... Gallery of the Universily of Ihe UMM Alumni Exhibit, to be displayed in the Art unseen." Denisia Elsola's memory and fantasy." Minnesota, Morris will present Humanities Fine Arts Center, Gallery of the Humanities Fine paintings "are influenced by ihe an exhibition of work of studio University of Minnesota, Arts Center on the campus of distinct energies of each sea­ arts alumni from Sept. 24 to Morris: Morris, Minnesota the University of Minnesota, son: dormancy moving into Oct 20.1991, to celebrate and 56267. For more information Morris (UMM). activity, and 10 returning to MENC honor those who have contin­ or to receive an entry form, call dormancy again. Susan This exhibit, on display at ued creative work in lhe visual the Office of Alumni Rela­ Kirkham describes her works in mock recital UMM from Feb. 7 to Feb. 22, arts. tions, University of Min­ sculpiure as "psychological de­ returns to Minnesota after hav­ The exhibit is sponsored by nesota, Morris, phone (612) scriptions of life experiences: ing been on tour to the Ameri­ the Division of lhe Humani­ 589-6066. anxiety, death, solitude and The Morris Chapter of the can Institute of the Arts in ties, the an history and studio self-examination." Collegiate Music Educators New York and the Artemisia National Conference (MENC) arts disciplines, and Ihe UMM Gallery in Chicago. Gallery Maria Marazzo's sculptures will sponsor a mock recital Alumni Association. hours are 9 a.m. through 8 reflect "...laughing, dreaming, beginning 8:11 p.m. Monday, Works in two-dimensional UMM jazz p.m. Monday through Friday. pushing, pulling for a true res­ Feb 11, in the Recital Hall of media on canvas or pane should Featured in the gallery will urrection of human spirit..." A the Humanities Fine Arts be framed and prepared for pre­ The University of Min­ be works from 10 Minnesota teacher in the Liberal arts sentation. Works of paper nesota, Morris Division of artists. Marilynn Anderson, a Division of the Minneapolis The format of this recital is should be mailed and framed Humanities presents the UMM pointing and drawing instructor College of Ait and Design, not the same as mosi UMM under plexi-glass. Two- Instrumental Jazz Groups in in St. Paul, says of her work Mary McDunn, working in the Recitals. UMM students and dimensional work should nol Concert at 7:30 p.m. Friday, in the temporary painting me­ photography medium, states faculty will be singing humor­ exceed 60 inches in height or . Feb 8, in th Humanities-Fine dia. "I work in diverse modes- that she is "atiracted to the ob­ ous songs and playing instru­ width. Three-dimensional Arts Cenier Recital Hall. sometimes traditional painting jects thai I layer by a deep mental selections in a manner work should nol exceed 100 Under the direction of Jim and drawing, sometimes in­ spiritual pull of simply by lhe perhaps never seen before, such pounds. Carlson, professor of music, beauty of Iheir shape or color." stalling large temporary draw­ as the piano being played by an Studio arts alumni may send 77 students will be performing ings in mixed media directly on orange. UMM band members 21 pieces in 12 different jazz 1 Cynthia Morgan, working in slides of up to six works; two the walls. ' mixed media, says that her playing Iheir secondary instru­ or more slides of each work combos. Pieces performed will works suggest "the power of ments and other studenis who should be sent if the work is range from Dixieland favorites Karen Sontag Bacig, a stone wish lo piay in a band for fun carving instructor and docu­ three-dimensional. Please such as "Battle Hymn of the will be making their premier indicate which side of lhe slide Republic" lo more contempo­ mentary photographer at the transcendence inherent in frag­ ; the "secondary Hubert H, Humphrey Institute ments, remnants and remains. is up for proper orientation for rary pieces such as "Feels So ai ihe Universily of Minnesota, Jenny Nellis, associate profes­ projection. Good," written by Chuck Twin Cities, staled lhal her sor of studio aris at UMM, A reception will follow the All entries must be received Mangione, and "Funky Turtle," written by Morris-Hccht sione carvings "are meiaphors says of her work in mixed me­ performance. Admission is 49 by March 29, 1991. Notifica­ for the psychological and emo­ dia lhat she is "interested in cenls for sludenls and 74 cents tion of work selected will occur Cosl for ihc concert is SI for tional growth process based on minimal or essential shapes for adults. Tickets are avail­ on May 17 for delivery io the students and senior citizens and lhe idea that ihe chipping away lhat convey a narrative, and able at the door. UMM gallery belween Sept 7- S2 for adults. Roger and Me a must see

Roger (Smilh), chairperson of General Molors Corporation, sentenced the city of Flint Michigan to death when he decided to close several production facilities in the area. Me (Michael Moore) relentlessly pursues Roger from corporate headquarters lo exclusive counlry clubs trying lo interview him about the decision to close the plani and destroy the city. This is the premise of lhe documentary "Roger and Me," which will be shown Ihis Thursday at 7 and 9 p.m. in the Science Auditorium. The city of Flint for decades had grown and prospered along with Amer­ ica's largest corporation, but in the early 1980s, old production facilities and pressure from increased imports caused GM lo abandon the town and shift iis factories to Mexico. Michael Moore, a local unemployed journalist turned amateur film producer, attempts to document the rapid decay of his hometown and his efforts to secure an interview wiih Roger about the clos­ ings. The film, which is well shol and cleverly edited, elicits a wide range of reactions from lhe audience. One moment you feel great sympathy for the displaced workers who have losi jobs, homes, even friends, and suddenly you are laughing al ihe ridiculous com mems made by GM officials and local members of lhe counlry club. Moore's attempts to get an interview become more and more of a farce as he persistently pursues the elusive chairperson and is rebuffed by spokepersons, maitre d's, secretaries, and health club managers. When Moore isn't tracking Roger, his focus shifts to the people of Flinl and Iheir common plight as plants fail and more and more businesses fail. Soon families are being evicted from their homes, lhe once prosperous business district stands empty, and the quality of life in Flint grows so poor Money Magazine calls il the worsi place lo live in America. Moore's documentary is worth seeing not only because of its sensitive treatment of lhe plight of the unemployed auto workers and ill-fated community but also because it manages lo find humor in the ridiculous statements made by GM officials and in the manner certain Flint residents handle the crisis. If you arc looking for an educational, discomforting, ::iiir,i:il film lo view, "Roger and Mc" is a must-sec. Uni • r.sitv Register • Page 11 2 KUM for the Alternative HumanBeing 89.7

Andy's new, improved, DJ of the week uncensored record re- Material lssue,-lmernational Fop Overthrow The ultimate garage band. © Floral & This week's mislresses of lhe airwaves are JillEckhoff and Carla These boys grew up in Chicago Wilowski. This well mixed show, which flows from classical io and were heavily into lhe punk S Greenhouse metal, can be heard on Sundays from 2-4 p.m. As mentioned above, scene. They classify their music these iwo play a wide variety of music, except "Mambo. Calipso. as "pop played at punk speed." Disco, or Chicago... or Counlry; bul lhal docsn'l rhyme." When 'Nuffsaid. asked about iheir majors and future plans, Jill said. "Geology. Valentine Value's Divinyls-DiVi'ny/j arock???" Carlarcplicd/'Iwaniiogciadcgrccsomeday." As I've been barraged by Ihis farasamajor, Carla said, "Noi(maybc An, scary as ii may sound)." media bliiz by these folks. Given, In explanation of their show, they were tired of doing mellow a postcard wiih a picture of a morning music, so now ihey want to break ihe mold and lei people woman wearing a fishnet dress 6 carnations & $22 50 hear a wide variety of music and liven up iheir Sundays. with ihc logo "I touch myself 3 roses arranged would pique most people's curi­ osity. I wanted to hear their mu­ Sinner Time Pop Cha rts sic. And iheir music is...good. sponsored by Morris Flo- Grade 'A' Cuts Their firsl single. "I Touch My­ 3 carnations $8.00 and Greenhouse sponsored by Sonia's self," has already been chucked in bud vase 2-6 Skinny Puppy Too Dark Pari Scientific Hair Center into MTV's buzz bin. If you want 2-7 Divinyls Divinyls togelyourgrubbylittlefingerson with Mylar balloon 2-8 Manchester So Much to An 1-6 Grant Hart a good alternative album, get this >rFor i-7 The Go-Go's 116 Atlantic Ave 2-11 Hamlet soundtrack i-8 Van Morrison 2-12 Material I ssazlnternaiiona 1-llPwei Morris, MN 56267 Overthrow !-121 .ailysm.iii Black Mambaw 589-3344 2-l3GooGooDolisHoldMeUf 1-13 ABC

So, I dialed a faithful old into lhe sky pleased again hunting companion whom 1 where I was in life. I didn'i Why Work All Summer knew did some ice-fishing and catch a fish. I didn't even get a You see, I've been used stole him from his wife for a bite but I found once again that When You Can Play? to/spoiled these last couple of sense of peace I remembered years because every Christmas After loading my 1985, all- from the fall. No classrooms, Announcing Valleyfair's 1991 Entertainer Auditions break Rod, myself and maybe terrain, five-speed, sapphire- no books, and no deadlines, another friend or two would blue, four-wheel drive Escort just life. spend a few days ice-fishing on wagon with ihe necessary I felt happy and lucky that I II you're better at Lake of Ihe Woods. Now. if paraphernalia, we headed for had and look ihe opportunity performing on stage you're getting a mental picture lake Artichoke. io go ice-fishing. And al tfie than on a cash of four guys hovering and My car handled lhe ice and same time I fell sorry for register, here's your shivering over a set of black snow drifts wiih ease as we anyone who kept themselves chance. We're holes that penetrate into the drove onward towards ihc so rapped up in school they looking for 36 seemingly endless depths of "hot" fishing spot. And guided couldn't lake off for a while and singers, singer/ ice. guess again. Ha! We by nothing more lhan other shake hands with life. dancers and musi- fished wiih style. vehicle tracks, we were Depending on where I gel a We fished inside lavish fish funnelled right into the middle job in ihe next few monlhs houses (lavish being equipped of a small community of this may be lhe last winter I with a furnace, iwo bunks, and houses. really have the freedom lo do a stove). The only problem Full of enthusiasm and some ice-fishing. Not for the was, well shux, we didn't have gumption galore, we quickly sake of catching fish, but more any problems. We were drilled four holes and started for die sake of "being.1' Try out at one of these five audition s always warm, the soda was Some may say I'm always cold, lhe walleyes bii "Ooh. I can feel it, now," said irresponsible lhe way I blow Feb 1 - University of Wise, Eau Claire, WI regularly. and the Jay, "they're going to start off school and dwell in a life of Feb 2 - University of Wise, Stevens Point, WI camaraderie/male-bonding was biting any time." I of course, hunting, fishing, and sports - I great. Four days of eating the concurred. say I'm proud to have enough Feb 4 - Moorhead State Univ., Moorhead, MN same food, wearing the same Well, afler about three hours courage to act and do whai Feb 7 - Iowa State University, Ames, [A clothes, and never even of "Ooh I can feel it nows," really gives me pleasure in life. Feb 9 - Hamline University, St. Paul, MN thinking of showering. Life new holes drilled, a lantern lhal And not live by whai a was good, you knew who were, seemed to luminatc ihe entire society or school dictates for and you were comfortable. darkness of ihc lake, and not me. I may at limes have to go Call Live Shows at one bile to brag about, we ($12)i 445-7600 for You had no pressure to be or along with this (to gel my VciLLey/aiR! - you just reluctantly decided lo head for degree for example), but I'll audition require- Family Amusement Paitk This home (knowing full well as never be so caught in someone Ona Valleyfair Driva. Shakopee. MN 55179 1 the i soon as we pulled up our lines feeling I had during hunting else's structure I forgei to shake the fish would probable start hands and even hug the life season but I needed help biting.) finding it again to get me God gave me. through the winter. Before we left, though, 1 jusi See, that didn't hurt now, did Health from p.l stood out in lhe open looking has never been a tenured health will be allowed to finish oul their professor. I feel lhal the admin­ education here at UMM. How­ istration needs to give the program STUDIES IH SPAIN OR LATIN AMERICA ever, ihis is only for the next two lime to stabilize with Lori years. After Ihai, the major must Dewald." The Spanish Discipline cordially invites alt Spanish {and non-Spanish) be completed as a directed study. Dewald stales lhat "I want lhe Majors Io a presentation by six students describing their work, travel, and Still, this plan does not satisfy University to recognize lhat my learning experiences in Spain, Central, and Soulh America. Specifically, they will everyone. Beth O'Conner, a sludenls and I are concerned wilh answer questions such as how and where to enroll, housing, transfer of credils. eel. junior majoring in health educa­ the possible reallocation plans lhal tion, says, "Il is very Enisoaling include the elimination of our Thursday, Febuary 7, 1991 because no one bothered to tell us program. Itismyhopethatolher 7:00-8:30 P.M. [health majors] thai ihis might studenis and faculty members will Humanities Lounge happen. They never asked us for also become concerned. Health (Refreshments will be served) our opinions or how we feel. There education is education for life." Page 12 • University Regist Sports Aamodt! New UMM scoring king

R.Sid the big scorn' that puts up twenty lo the record," was cenier Sieve came at 15:01 of lhe second half The Cougars went on io finish Staff Columnist poinis every game, and he isn't Aamodt's comment afler ihe as Amos went hard io the hole and this incredible ball game by out- the scorer who lights it up from game. The6'9"lefi-handerfrom got the bucket and the foul. After scoring SWS by a total of 42-32 Ihe three-point stripe periodica] I y; Woodbury was probably the only the typical Amos "nothing bul (including Aamodt's 3 -pointplay) January 31 was a big night for what Kirkey does do is "bang." person in "Perry's Pavillion" thai net" free throw, the crowd rose lo en route loan 88-83 victory. The Cougar hoops. The obvious was Kirkey is the guy under the hoop night who didn't know. its feet in honor of UMM's new 55 -point second-half show put on the fact that the Southwest (Uniied that puts his large frame to work all-time scoring leader as Doug by the men's Cagers makes one Stales) Mustangs were coming lo Il was lo be a typical Aamodl as a re bo under and usually wreaks Maclver's (1965-69) record of shudder to think whai would hap­ town. This leam had recenily performance on lhat evening. The havoc on the opposing squads in­ Cougars were down eight at lhe 1768 points fell. pen if the leam played a whole beaten ihem dawgs of UMD 51- side game. For four years the big half (41-33). They needed lo win Anyone who ihinks Aamodl game the way ihey played lhal 50. It leal tired two former NCAA man has hauled against the Jay in order 10 contend for a playoff was giving the old cliche when he second half . .. This year could Division I players: Terrence Guiddingers and Surge Grimes of spot in this year's conference said. "1 didn'i realize I was thai have the most competitive NIC Williams (U of M) and Andre the NIC. Meanwhile, Kirkey has battle. Itwasprime time for Amos close" need not look far to discover final four in a long time. Look for Beasley (Barber Scotia, NC). But managed 10 quietly managed to to lake control: and. as usual, he otherwise. Coach Perry Ford, SWS, UMD, UMM, and this the Cougar faithful were there to consistently put in around 10 did. hearing Aamodt's comment afler weekend's Cougar foe Moorhead see a couple other events take pointsanight—that's ten poinis a lhe game, said, "That's typical Slate to provide plenty of excite­ night for four long, rough years. After picking up 8 first-half points on 3-8 shooting, Amos Sieve. He probably didn'tknow. ment for fans from here on out. First, prior to Ihe game, the Obviously the Cougar faithful found the mark quickly in the .. He's simply a joy to coach, and SWS has already proven lhe "Caplain of ihe Siarship Cougar" know what Capt. Kirkey means to second half as he led lhe Cougs on every once in a while I have lo Bulldogs can be beaten, and the James T. Kirkey was presented a this team, as they gave him a an 8-0 run to open the half. The wake myself up and remember Cougars have shown that Ihey are plaque for becoming the second rousing ovation during the award Mustangs, led by Beasley, an­ lhal he won't be around forever. very capable of competing with 1000- pointscorerinthisballclub. presentation. swered wiiha7-0 run of their own lhe best of them ... In case you This award for Kirkey was not totakea48-4Ilead. TheCougars missed ii, the Twins signed out­ really a tribute to his scoring ability Obviously .ihatwasn'tiheonly No, he won't, so Cougar sports then began to lake control in what fielder Chili Davis lo a two-year asmuchasitwastohisdurability. milestone recognized lhat fans had betier appreciate him was said by many to be ihe best contract worth around $2 million Kirkey is one of two four-year evening, or ih e tide of this col umn now, before he's gone. ball game they had ever seen at a year. starters in this ballclub. He isn't would have been different. lhe Pavillion. The magic moment "I didn't realize I was that close Picks of the Week Remember the dream team of 1987? If you always thought lhat you could pick games wiih the best of] Ihem -Ihen here is yourchancc! The U.R, will pick selected games for the upcoming week and then try to determine lhe winners. V.. and 5 spots in die rotation. All new face of Mike Pagliarulo. invite all challangers tolixtooutpick the U.R. staff. Ifthcchallangerj three of these pitchers should show Pagliarulo doesn't have ihegreat- ends up with a better record than ihc staff, his/her name will be put in grcaiimprovemcnioverlastyear. esl glove in the world, but his bat Il seems as if the World Scries the following weeks paper. Lasl week wchadoncchallangcr.andlhal In the bull-pen the Twins have shouldbeanaddedwclcome. The as played justacouple of weeks the KUMM Sportsline. The U.R. and the Sportsline ended the Rick Aguilera, Sieve Bedrosian, middle of the infield will have ago, but sure enough it has been week with identical records, showing il might be possible to beat the Terry Leach, Tim Drummond, and Chuck Knoblauch al second base three and a half months since the U.R. So give it a shoi and compete against the great-ones, the U.R. Gary Wayne to use if lhe starters and Greg Gagne at shortstop. Reds beat the A's, and in jusi a Staff. should fallen Promising young Knoblauchisarookicwhotoreup couple of weeks. Spring Training pictures include Willie Banks. AA ball lasl year, and the word on starts for all the Major League DennyNeaglandRichGarces.all him is thai he has a phenomenal Send all picks to: Univ. Rergisier Spons Picks baseball teams. The 1991 season of whom will probably start lhe glove. The outfield will consisiof Api. H-4 is just around the comer! season in AAA ball, but should changes that lhat average Twins The Minnesota Twins open iheir gel called up before lhe end of the fan mighi not expect. No longer st be reeived by Saturday.) spring training in Fort Myers, will Kirby Puckett be in Florida, starling next week wilh The Twin s lost some key players cenicrfield; he decided he has had Games of thfVVwk ihepilchersandcatchers reporting. Univ. Baiatg to free agency but also acquired enough of centcrfield and will be Timberwolves at Golden Slate The rest of the leam (position Golden State some talented players to replace found in rightfield. Taking over Timberwolves at LA Lakers players), will Ihen follow aboul them. One of the players the centerfield will be Shane Mack, Gopher(Hockey) at N. Michagan two weeks later. Tom Kelly sees Gophs(sweep) Twins lost was Gary Gaetti, Gaetti who had an incredible year last Gopher(B-Ball) at Illinois the Twins improving on their 74- Gophers was offered aeon tract lhat he just year playing pan time. Leftfield Nevada- L.V. at Arkansas 88 last-place finish of lasl year Nevada -L.V. couldn't refuse from the Califor­ belongs to Dan Gladden, who is hoping to finish wiih a record State at Northwestern Ohio State nia Angels and decided to leave due for a good year. DH-ing for above .500, while challenging the Syracuse at Noire Dame Notre Dame lhe Twinsfcan hardly blamehim). the Twins will be Chili Davis, and Angels for the division n WesKAII-Siar Game) To replace him, lhe Twins picked wiih Gene Larkin andRandyBush vn. Kelly sees a much im­ up Mike Pagliarulo from the Pa­ adding depth to lhat spot. proved pitching staff and several dres to fill ihc void. Juan Have a BIG game in mind that should be included in key ac qu isi lions as the reasons for Look for the Twins to be an Berenguer left the Twins to join weeks paper? Call -3667 and ask for Bob or Andy. lhe improvement improved ballclub wiih their the Allan la Braves, bul lhe Twins —' The Twins look lo have a much young pile hers being more expe­ had already picked up Steve T~] improved pitching staff this year, rienced and an already potent of­ Bedrosian. so he was totally ex­ since lasl year, thciryoungpitchers fense led by ihc likes of Kirby Campus P.O. pendable. TheTwinsalsopicked gaincda lot of needed experience. Puckeir, Kent Hrbek, Brian Harper up Chili Davis to solidify ihcir Reluming starling pitchers for the and new-comer Chili Davis. I al ready potent offense. Twins are: Kevin Tapani - a guy still don't think lhe Twins have Wolves at. Golden Stale who surprised everyone by win­ Look for an opening day start­ what it lakes to come out ahead of il I jkers ning I.) games in his rookie sea­ ing lineup consisting of the fol- lhe A's, Angels, Royals, or ihe UMD at Gopher(Hockey) son, and Allan Anderson - who k'.vm.L' players. Brian Harpcrdid While Sox, so look for ihe Twins tomovcoutofihccellarbutcomc Gopher(B-Ball) at Illinois had a down year lasl year, but an outstanding job as catcher lasl should regain his old form this year for lhe Twins, and for the up short of capturing anyihing • • j...; • i..v alArkan year. Tom Kelly figures lhal first lime in his career, ihe job is higher lhan fourth place, I do not ^tern second- year pilchcrs Scon his before camp even starts. Ai scca World Series trophy beingin " •" •' •it Notre Pair HiiiAson. David West, and Mark the comers you will find Minne­ ihis teams grasp, yet be patient, sota-grown Kenl Hrbek, while you never know what will hap­ L=:- J^ll jj. •—•— __._ ;._ | Gulhricv ill fill lhe number 3,4, third base will be occupied by the pen. Remember 1987? Wrestlers qualify two more Nofinalfour

Brian wilikop can't be fun? Jim Salzsicdler's Another highlight for ihe Cougs Staff Reporter opponent in the 126 pound semi­ washaving their first tournament final match was teammate Jim champion of the season - Dave in near future This past weekend the Cougar Fritz! Inmostcascsthiswouldbc Wroblewski at 167 pounds. Also wrestlers travelled lo Eau Claire, a serious match, bul since Fritz placing for lhe Cougs were 126 had already qualified for the Na­ pounder Jim Fritz, who finished Wisconsin, as one of lhe twelve Nathan Brandt Carter from Tennessee, Given tionals, the two decided to have a third; Matt Bisek. who finished teams competing in their invita­ Staff Reporter Willie Burton's old number, 34, tional tournament. This turned Hide fun during the maich. Afler second again at 142 pounds; and coach Clem Haskins lold him he out to be the best showing by far putting on a thrilling display of John Amundson (118) and Mark had thepoieniial lobejustas good for the Cougars , both hidi virtually upper-body throws and running McNamer (118). who both just I have had the opportunity to as Burton. Randy has a nose for missed qualifying for "the show" Asa i, lhe the match score up to 14-10,Fritz attend several Gopher basketball the hoop and will definitely be a by finishing fourth. Cougs finished with 63 points, let SalzsiedJer pin him with aboul great player. Sophomores Dana good for a distant, but solid, ihird The Cougars will be in action excited about the future of Jackson and Nate Tubbs will also behind champion Mankato Slate again ihis Friday, as ihcy host lhe ballclub. Remember lhat great contribute greatly in lhe future (95 poinis) and runner-up UMD NIC Individual Tournament. group we had lasl year, lhat very Unlike Iheir predecessors, this (94points). TheCougarJV squad Aclion gels underway at 11:00, nearly reached the final four? The group is having success as fresh­ finished tenth in the tournament, wilh finals scheduled for 5:00. If senior leaders!] ip was provided by man and sophomores. Theydon'l which was the best showing of you only see one wreslling event Willie Burton. Richard Coffee, have a chance of winning ihe Big any JV and better than uiree col­ this year, this is the one lo go Melvin Newbern, and Jim Ten this year, and they may not lege varsity squads! watch, as their will be two All- Shikcnjanski. Twoofihesethree even make lhe NCAA Tourney, players. Burton and Coffee, arc Team results are based upon Americans and several potential bul ai least wins are not a rarity. NBAregulars.Bunonafirst round individual results, and for the All-Americans in aclion lhal af­ Thisgroup of players will lead lhe pick for the Miami Heal, and rs Utis w ternoon. After lhal. the Cougs Gopherstoabitofglory. Inihrec Teyton Young- National Qui Coffee playing with our own ful individual tournament. The host Division II power North years,possibly even Iwo.lhcy will Timberwolves. Cougars qualified two more six seconds left in the first period, Dakota S talc on Monday night as challenge for the Big Ten titlean d wrestlers for lhe N-MA National thus assuring Salz of no worse a final tune-up for the Bi-District Despite their talent, when ihis cause waves in ihe NCAA Tour­ Tournament, which will be held lhan a second place finish and andNationalToumamenls.Comc group were freshman and sopho­ ney. Theialcniislhere,thcdcsire at the end of Ihis month in Butte, qualifying him for "the show." on oul and cheer on your Cougar mores, lhe Gophers finished near is Ihere, ihc only thing lacking wrestlers! Montana. The two qua I tilerswer e The olhcr qualifier for the Cou­ IheboliomoflheBigTen. Well, now is a bil of experience. Sian Jim Salzsicdler, who finished gars was 190 pounder Teyton Two weeks from now I'll have wcagainhaveaveiyialcntcdgroup bccomingfamiliiirwilhihcmnow, secondai 126 pounds, and Teyton Young, who pinned his firsl two thecompletc lowdown on Cougar of freshman. They are (now re­ raihcr tha njoi m ng ihc band wagon Young, who was second at 190. opponents before losing the qualifiers for "the show," plus a member these names) Arriel in a couple of years when ihcy Both wrestlers were 2-1 on the championship match to Paul look ahead at this year's National McDonald, Randy Carter, and sian 10 dominate. day. And who says wrestling Krcmcr of UMD by four poinis. Tournament. Emesi Nzigamasabo(cn-ZIG-ah- With help from upperclassmen ma-ZAH-bo)These three, along Kevin Lynch, Waller Bond, and wilh sophomores Dana Jackson Bob Martin, the Gophs are very ftotvers and Nate Tubbs, Have great po­ exciting io watch this year. It is Upset!! tential. tough 10 sec who will be good in Arriel McDonald is ;i guard from the Big Ten two or ihrcc years say it a(X! Norlh Carolina. Hchasgrcaiball- down ihc road. Indiana anil Ohio nanflling aouily ana is a good J- Stale, who have such successful The lady hoopsters cxtendci poini shooter. He does for lhe yet young teams right now, will heir wi nn ing streak to fi vc game; FREE singing Valentine Gophers whai Pooh Richardson provide a challenge. Teams such ind arc only one-half game back with purchase of does for the Wolves. Ernest ai Illinois and Michigan arc in the rem second place in lhe NIC Nzigamasabo is a native of same boal as lhe Gophers, and are llie Cougs once again played 1 dozen roses Burundi who played his high rebuilding iheir programs righl ill-around floor game offensive!) school ball al Mound-Westonka. now. It is tough 10 lell how good ind defensively to beat Northen Something 2 Carnation; A bit of a project player right now, s R these teams may end up being. Il ilate(17-2)85-80inagame Iha Special- 1 °se ^$9.-7§/ al6'9", he will be our ccnier of the willbeadogfightinafewyearsin aw lhe Cougs lead by iwclve with vase future. Our most exciting and die Big Ten, bul lhe Gophers will he half. By far. this was ti highly touted player is Randy be righl in Ihc thick of il! liggesi win in recent school his ory of Women's 1/2 dozen roses in The leading Crystal-like vase $28.50 iondraWeick(Wheaton)with H mints. Dawn Schroedei H VtUEHTIHE'S BM 9PECIMM M SLCloud) with 17, and Sheil; Order Early \smus(Bro jg LflfM*l CJffS? SmSw IFSm^S « \smus saw her offense slowet No delivery charge with $5.00 order lown wilh a defense of ploy bj »> spttui 'Bint -But frklrit lermtr' t J.W <*( •Jorlhem Slate in-which the) anploycd a box and lefense against her. Kaj 1 .1" )eutsch(Kinney) shot 4-6 fron he field including a three poimei o finish with 11 points. Als< .coring were Kathy Heuei Norwood) wi th 8 poin is wi th Kri;

dence, one only has lo note lered a recession, a debt top­ • Take the FreeEeer Doctrine Congress. I'm only a humble that we overthrew ihe yoke of ping 1 gazillion, and a trade one siep farther and it becomes college sludent who's found oppression England opposed deficit with an island we nuked the key to restoring .economic himself priced out of the beer Five monlhs ago I uncovered on us colonists in lhe form of once already. We're also wag­ stability. Consider how free market. Priced out by a plot which threatened to a lea-lax hike. We revolted ing a pricey little war in the beer would increase lhe size of individuals who, I'd bet, don't upset lhe relatively domestic Gulf and are faced with an crowds at sporting events. sil down afler work and pop a tranquility our country has en­ Now, in my experience, I've S&L bailout that's gonna suck We'll change ihe NFL to the cold one or who head out after joyed since lhe Big One under nol found lea drinkers lo be up any change we have left. FFL (Federal Football League) a rough session to blow the Lincoln, What I found was a overly violent people. So Uncle Sam makes beer and make a killing. Then we tops off some frosiies. Priced can introduce the 3-P sur- sinister scheme thai would However, I've seen plenty of more expensive. out by those who, while charge~23 cents from each bag saying they represent the peo­ make Watergate look like sud-sucking rednecks pummel If I ran a nation in similar stolen lunch money. the snot out of each other over of popcorn, peanuis, and/or ple, continually demonstrate straights, I wouldn't do lhat. pretzels sold goes to the gov­ how out-of-touch with the The govern men I had pro­ the Tastes Great-Less Filling In fact, I'd make beer cheaper. Debate. And here was the gov- ernment. And finally, the people they are. Priced oul by posed a lax hike on beer. Better still. I'd give it away. coup de grace. The measure tea-sipping politicians who Beer for more. ernmcni promoting a bill Yeah, free beer. aimed specifically at this that, when linked wilh my free say, read their lips, they care Stunned. I decided my only I'd lax everything else to the highly volatile class. beer policy, could very well about the common man. recourse, short of deionating moon, but Ihe becr'd (hey-new turn our economy around the Capitol, was lo exercise Bad plan. word) be on me. Al least the overnight. Thinking back to my forefa­ my voter right and coniact my And ihen. despite my per­ citizens might be more forgiv­ The Pay Urinal. A dime a thers, I decided to protest this Congressional represent live. sonal correspondence wilh ihc ing. latest injustice by hurling all Surely when I pointed oul the Hon, Toby Roth (Bonehead- "Well, honey, looks like we my beer into the Pomme de drawbacks to such a proposal, Wisconsin), the bill passed. It can't afford SaddaGas anymore, The dream-bubble bursts Torre River. Or at least my he would do all he could to became a law. Beer for more. but I got these free cases of however because, sadly, I'm empties. prevent lhe bill from passing. Really bad plan. Busch Light Draft. 1 love not the President and evidently Anyone care for a spol of Examining historical evi- Granted, our nation has en- America." Stir often to avoid lumping Chris Schanus to leam the selfishness of lhe ft ft ft ft ft Staff Columnist Europeans, who know only the word "mine" when it comes to We like io refer io America material things. And I cer­ as a melting pot; a place where tainly wouldn't lei my children other cultures can join us in marry one of the animals. Capricorn Taurus our European-American way Some drunk Irishman, dumb Virgo of life. Lei me comment on Norwegian or smelly Polack. April 20 - May 20 August 21 . September 22 this. I think Americans of I would rather my children In order to have the best When things go wrong Someone is on the way European descent are the scum married a good, kind African- fe possible be sure lo who do you call? Your to you right now with of this Earth. Look at their marry a cute blonde mother! Go ahead and good news. Be prepared ancestral history. All you see Well people, I ho|" you are Gemini with dimples. give her a call now. She because they're about to is a history of abuse and sav­ damn angry at wh; you've You will be assured love, needs you as well as you come busting through the agery. From the beginning of just read. I know I lot of happiness, and security! need her! door! recorded lime, Europeans have people who hear on I • these documented their abuse of negative stereotypes about other cultured with pride. their cultures every single day. Aquarius Gemini Libra What kind of inhuman I know people who arc angry Mav2l -June20 September 23-October 22 because lhe importance of their beasts are these European- You seem to be the butt Sometimes it may be Quiet as a clam, you Americans? Knowing what we cullure is diminished on a uaily basis. I know people who are of every joke lately. frustrating to be your own tend to wait on the side­ do aboul them, how can we Don't be hurt or offended person instead of follow­ lines for something to doubl their criminal nature? followed around in stores with your position. ing the crowd, but you happen. Don't wait any We know for certain they are because others are afraid they Instead leam to laugh with longer. Be the star of the alcoholic by nature. Alcohol might steal something. must stand up for what is an inseparable pan of every them! you believe in. Don't show. Come out of your Put yourself in their shoes, shell! European-American's life: every single day. Maybe Ihen give in any longer! Italians. French, English, you will sec why so few mi­ Pisces drunk Vikings, Germans and norities make il through col­ February 19 - March 20 Cancer Scorpio Irish, as well as the Polacks lege. Why so many and Russian vodka jocks. Ii's Minorities have substance You've got work to do; June 21 -July 22 October 23 - November 21 no wonder out country is abuse problems. Every day do it! Don't waste time You've got a secret The time to plan for plagued by rape and violence. these people are told how dawdling around in search admirer! They've been your spring break I don't ihink European cul­ worthless they are. How of something else to oc­ watching you from afar vacation is now. Making ture should be taught in would your life be if you were cupy your time. Sit down for a long time and now plans early will secure school, I don'l want my chil­ treated this way? and get it done now! they are about to make them for the future. If dren to know about the sav­ Wake up. Start seeing peo­ their move to get close to you want to have fun plus agery and depravity of the ple for what they really arc, as you. Be sure to make a little time to relax, work Aries European-Am eric an culture. individuals. Lumping ethnic yourself approachable! out your plans now. It's subhuman; essentially groups inio one large stereo­ against all the morals I hold type is a grave mistake. Next The time has come for sacred, I'm going to try my time, think twice before you you to grow up. Leave Leo Sagittarius best to drive ihis culture of ex­ make lhal mistake. your childish ways behind November 22 - December 21 cess oul of America. I will July 23 - August 22 Look at America as a great and be the grownup man You're in trouble now. then introduce the peaceful You've suddenly got a slew, where distinct parts can that you should There is almost no chance coexistence philosophies of the rosy glow about you. interact closely, without losing be. It's time for a change! of getting yourself out superior Easiem cultures. I Every one wonders what their individuality. One of lhe alive. The best thing to will try to breed the ideas of keys to solving our racial is making you so happy. do would be to hide until brotherhood and community of problems is accepting the lhe Native Americans in my The cause is your own se­ the whole thing blows validity of all our ethnic cret. Don't tell; it will children. cultures. No culture is better over! drive them crazy! I wouldn't want my children than lhe other, only different ' Register • Page 15 The mean season is upon us ihings start infiltrating the back." You might a eryone's nerves and there's ihing about ihe minds of some real bored peo­ have left lhe answering ma­ nothing much io really do mean season is that we can't ple. It's like I have nothing chine on for all of lhe personal aboul ii because ii's lhe lime say (or write) anyihing original If anyone remembers the better to do than wonder how attention you're giving friends. of ihe season where we because we haven't heard any­ song by die Zombies "Time of much consumption of bread I think ihis time of lhe year is discover we really are nothing thing new. It's the quarter io the Season", give yourself 20 mold will kill a person. I official "Dirty Sock Month". bul social animals. We have whine, whine, whine. points and advance directly to know it's sick. . .so if you No one gets ireaied wiih rc- no grace under pressure. We're Happy thought: Nice Go. This song was recently send your donations right now, on lhe unicycle of life and can't weather we've been having remade by a guy with a last I will be able lo go away to a Everyone is getting on ev­ take the bends in the road well. lately. name thai I can't spell. real nice place to recuperate Anyway the poinl to Ihese over spring break—which will Wi ramblings arc io get you in the not come soon enough. aekly Crossword mood for Ihc song. I can also sense ihe impend­ "GAMESME MSHIP" By Gerry Frey The lyrics go something ing doom or joy of joys of like. "It's the time of the sea­ Valentine's Day. Yes, this is a I i; son for loving.,." (da da da da situation like one of those 1 J 1 PUTTING GAME „ da). I can definitely say thai black and while pictures that * * * ' * " '"' 5 Protective ground 14 is this song was never written you look at in psychology. Is covering 18 " wiih winter quarter in mind. I il lhe ugly old woman or ihe 10 Charles: Abbrev. lJ see no great outpourings of beautiful young girl that you 1 14 Hymn, eg 1" love except maybe in the direc­ see? It all depends on your tion of profs who cancel class perspective Some people gel -" l on Friday (or any otiier day). real siressed oul about not get­ 16 Hallowed ^•- •" • '•- " It seems as though Ihis is the ting anyihing on Ihis day. u U " 31 ^B- IS .14 35 19 Enthusiasm 8 tense quarter. The bad quarter. Valentine's Day was never a M This is he quarter where cause of anxiety in grade 20 Pilot "•" 1' friendships and all other rela­ school so why is il now for 21 WORD GAME .11 iF41 l tionships begin to frazzle. some people? We would go to 23 Columbia and Missis­ H" Roommates no longer look at school wilh our Valentines, sippi, eg: Abbreviation 4J M | ^4, -M 1 j 2G Young ones each other and smile al the knowing we would gel some 41 other person's bedhead appear­ in return and ihere was never 27 Ms. Magazine buyer 3D Greek r.tieeses Hr ance first thing in ihe anyihing lo gel freaked out \m\\'n HFsi n SI ^ morning. Roommates no about. Now that we're older, 32 Residues H" longer say "thank you," something that juvenile is 35 JUMPING GAME J if, - ^^^•-> ±» Ml Roommates do creel and nasly important? Give me a break. 38 Cling • * "' 39 Foroann bono ti M w ihings like what I did Ihc other My idea is thai every person •• gives al leasi 2 people a w My roomie and 1 were bored Valentine and a hug. Yeah, 42 Biblical "you" ** " 71 so we picked oul a pair of yeah, that's Ihe ticket. And 43 RACKET GAME socks io match an outfii. wouldn't il be great if...? 45 M "" " 47 Muse ol lava poetry i Well, when she put ihem on There arc olhcr ihings be­ the ncxi day, I think I was bit sides Valentine's Day lhat 48 Equals 9 French Hank 53 Make useable again by the demon bug because I prove lhat winter quarter is 49 Selective Service Sys 10 GAME PARAPHERNALIA: 54 Kings ley : English told her ihey didn'i maich. I stressful. It feels like you're 50 Unique person 2wds novelist can'i even fathom why I did rushing from here io there and 52 Humlnant 11 City in Michigan 55 Ms. Moreno that. It was like I just sud­ will never get a break. You 54 Fragrant 12 Soviet mountain range 56 Warning lor Ihe luture denly turned into Regan know it's bad when your SB Prosecute again 13 Altogether 57 North American Indian MacNcil on one of her bad friends call and tell you the 62 La Boheme's heroine 18 TV Men's nickname 59 Ripped days. The socks did maich and besi news of their lives. 63 PITCHING GAME 22 Haiem member: Abbrev. 60 Blood Vessel netwoit I felt lerriblc for the resl of the 66 Article 24 Norm Peterson's wile 61 River lo the Morth See "Congratulations", they re­ 57 Regions and others 64 Strategic Air Comm. ceive, "I can't talk now because 65 La ugh-1 n's Johnson 25 Pack 65 Compass pi.: Florida I'm in a hurry bul I'll call you 69 Lucid 27 Galway's instrument from Missouri 7D Your brother-in-laws' 28 Lamprey catcher daughter 29 Exodus Toad 71 Mall and hops drink 31 A marble Black Student Union 33 Laugh [rack sounds Black History Week 1991 DOWN 34 Odds partner 1 Chews the tat 35 Sows Mon., Feb. II: Variety Show 8:15 p.m. Cow Palace. 2 Precedes "OR": Public 37 SILENT GAME Tues., Feb. 12: Mahmoud El Kali. 7p.m. Science Aud. 3B Dally work Wed., Feb. 13: Performance: Aleane Carter. 8:15 p.m. 3 Parasitic insects 41 Lose hair Recital Hall 4 Bunko artist 44 College In New Thurs., Feb. 14: Movie: Imilaiion of Life. 7 p.m. Scicnc 5 Master ol En g inter Ing Rochelle. NY Auriilorium. Panel discussion io follow. 46 Pushers' customers Fri., Feb. IS: Beach party. 10:30-1:30 a.m. 6 Hesitating word 48 A : Nol based on Sat., Feb. 16: Workshop: Bill Stewart 1:00 p.m. MSP 7 Bean or City prior sludy l.i)!iiu;e; semi-formal dance al I tie Si in wood Inn. 9:1X1-1:00 u.n 8 Cuckoo and alarm 51 Messrs. Frome or Allen Cost: S2.00 per couple. SI.50 Tor single. Sun., Feb. 17: Gospel service. 4:00 p.m. MSP Lounge. ©1991 GFR Associaie All Rights Reserved 2/91 P.O. Box 9104. Scheneclady. N.Y. 12309

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