Parenting Matters Foundation Presents eacher Helping parents do an excellent job as their child’s First Teacher

Published by Parenting Matters Foundation for Volume 20, Issue #6 Port Angeles School District Families - 360.681.2250 February 2015

TOO MANY TOYS? Toys are the way a child discovers Teaching Love himself and the world. When he is born, he There are many lessons to teach doesn’t know red from green, hard from soft, your child and one of the most loud from quiet. He doesn’t even know the important ones is about love. difference between himself and others. Toys Let her see that you love your partner are the tools that help him learn. However, and that you love her. when there are too many around, your baby processes the Let her see you and your partner information more slowly. He really learns a great deal from talk together, spend time together, playing with the same toy over and over for a long period of time. hug and laugh and play together. David Elkind, from Tufts University, says that “Variety might be The famous saying that the spice of life, but it is a turn-off of infant learning.” He also “The best thing you can do for your children encourages parents to look for toys that allow for imagination and is to love their mother” creativity rather than those of the “watch me” variety which are goes for loving their father, too. merely entertaining. David Elkind also authored a children’s book Show love and affection as part of your that explains this to older children. family and your child will be a loving Elkind, D., The Truth About Toys for Infants and The Need to Resist Rampant and affectionate person as she grows. Consumerism, 2008.

Open Your Help Is Needed Fluoride is used in toothpaste to help Door prevent cavities. However, too much fluoride can Ask your cause white or brown spots on your child’s teeth daycare center called dental fluorosis. about their open Before your child is 3, she may not have door policy. complete control of her swallowing reflex Make sure you and most of the toothpaste she uses may be can pop in during the day to swallowed. check on your child and see how For this reason, it is recommended that you brush your little one’s teeth until she is at least 3 and then continue to supervise things are going. This should be and assist her brushing until she is 7. Continuing to help your child expected by them and is worth brush is good for both of you. it for your peace of mind. Albert, D., Brushing Kids’ Teeth & Risks of Tasty Toothpaste, http://www.simp- http://www.fitpregnancy.com lestepsdental.com

A Toolkit For Parents and Caregivers of Birth to School-Age Children Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated Port Angeles A Tip for Library Events Stepparents www.nols.org - 417-8502 - [email protected] As a stepparent, make an extra effort to welcome Kindergarten Express (4 - 5 yrs) - 10:15 a.m., Tuesdays. your stepchildren into your Stories, fingerplays, music, and crafts to prepare preschoolers for home and your life. Find ways kindergarten. Attend three sessions and receive a free book! to show them how glad you are Toddler Storytime (18 mos – 3) - 10:15 a.m., Fridays. Stories, action songs and to have them around. Let them fingerplays. know you are interested in them. Music for Baby & Me Storytime (0 – 24 mos) - 11:15 a.m., Fridays. Songs, Display their artwork around the fingerplays, stories and rhymes. Attend three sessions = free board book! house. Don’t ignore them even if PAWS to Read (all ages) - 3:00 p.m., Thursday, February 5. Discover the joy of they’re ignoring you. Be ready to reading to a furry friend as you grab a book and settle in with a canine pal at give lots of positive attention to the Port Angeles and Sequim Libraries. The more you read, the better reader your stepchildren and they will, you will be! after some time, get the message that you care about them. Ford, J., Wonderful Ways to Be a Step- Growing and Learning parent, Conari Press, 1999. Babies 12 – 18 months show increased memory skills and continue to learn by mimicking adult actions. You may find your child brushing his When you are leaving own hair or attempting to put on his your child at home for a period hat or shirt, just like dad. He may also of time or for those who are in the military and will be gone for like stirring make-believe food in a cooking pot just like a longer time, record a bedtime mom. story or song on a tape player. This is a great time to remember that you are his model. Don’t forget to Only model behaviors you would like to see him imitate. “beep” to let http://life.familyeducation.com/parenting-toddlers-babies/early- your child know to learning/42858.html turn the page! Good News More families than ever qualify for free or low-cost medical coverage. Check out Washington’s program A family is a unit composed not only of children at www.insurekidsnow.gov. but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash First Teacher We welcome your comments and suggestions. Happy Valentine’s Day For more information visit Every day should be Valentine’s Day. We should us at www.firstteacher.org/ make a point to let the people we love know it. Our calendar.htm or contact us by e-mail children need to feel loved. Only when children genuinely at [email protected] feel they are loved are they secure enough to reach or call us at (360) 681-2250. out and learn about the world. If your child knows he is If you know anyone with young children loved, he can try anything. He knows you will be there in our area who is not receiving these newsletters, have them call 681-2250 for him because he is sure of his place in your life. to begin receiving First Teacher. You teach him about trust from his earliest Editor-Cynthia Martin, Ph.D. months of life by being there when he needs you and First Teacher and Parenting then you let him know regularly throughout his growing Matters Foundation is a partner agency of United Way. years. In fact, trust is one of the very earliest lessons Further reproduction and distribution you teach your child and this trust is the basis for his feeling of this newsletter may be an infringement under the copyright law. secure in life. Page 2 Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated Money and Patience As your child gets closer to school age, he begins to connect money with things he can buy. That’s fine. But don’t let his strong desire for a superhero toy convince you to buy it for A Special Walk him right away. Don’t let the winter weather If you begin to give in to every purchase, get you down. each trip to the store will be difficult. Let him start Bundle up with your child learning that it is fine to want something, but it is also okay and go for a walk -- to wait. even if it’s raining. Listen to the wind howl. Let your child splash in puddles. Some Things Just Make Good Sense Don’t worry Children sometimes really get into what they are doing. about getting dirty. We need to give them the same courtesy we expect for Talk about the clouds ourselves. We shouldn’t interrupt them unnecessarily. and rain with your child. Sometimes we think it is fine to talk to them, hug When you come home, them, tickle them or pick them up whenever we make some hot chocolate and want to. But we really need “to respect our child’s talk about your winter walk. work; we need to first watch what he is doing before we jump in with our words and actions.” Children who aren’t interrupted a lot feel comfortable to really 15 MINUTES A DAY get into their project or play. Besides, we are modeling what kind IS ALL IT TAKES! of courtesy they should give to others, including us. READING MATTERS! Davis, L., and Keyser, J., Becoming the Parent You Want To Be, Broadway, 1997.

“Compliment your children While you make Pancakes... often, and you’ll give them Remind your child that, a long time ago, Native a reputation to live up to!” Americans showed the colonists how to get maple - Cindy Francis, syrup from trees. These are fun things to tell your Life Lessons for Mothers child and it helps him appreciate other people.

KEEP THE PEACE Studies show that unsettled fights between parents have a Exercise negative effect on a child’s development as We all know we need early as age one. When fights (especially to exercise, but often say we don’t have time. numerous fights) remain unresolved it can Try exercising with the lead to depression, anxiety, sleeplessness and whole family - a nice behavioral problems for your little one. walk, sit-ups, swimming, Learn to talk and even argue with your aerobics at the TV, spouse without using personal insults, silence, dancing to music, physical aggression or insulting body language. If you do have a running, or playing ball. fight, try to problem-solve and compromise. Let your child know Include your children when you find a resolution to the fight and be kind and affectionate and your spouse; with your spouse when a solution is found. It isn’t the fight that is you will all love it. damaging to the child; it is the fight that is never resolved. “Fighting Parents Impair Kid’s Emotional Development,” http://www.foxnews.com/ story/2006/02/09/fighting-parents-impair-kid-emotional-development/ Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated Page 3 Special Attention Everyone loves feeling that they are special. If you have more than one child, make it a point to spend time alone with each child. Have your partner or a friend watch one child while you take the other with you to do errands, read a book at the library, or go out What’s She for ice cream. Next time, take your other child. Make sure you tell both kids how much you enjoy Trying to Say? being with them. It isn’t always easy to Your child will love having you all to herself understand what your baby is and it will be wonderful for your relationship. While we’re trying to say. When you don’t, talking about spending time together, don’t forget to set aside you may become frustrated time with your partner, too, without the kids or once they’ve and decide to ignore her. gone to sleep. Remember, you can’t “spoil” an infant. Go to her when she cries. It tells her you care about her and are there for her. It is how she learns to trust you. Let Your Child Help Send out Thank You Notes Ignoring her “needs can do Who said thank you notes had to be written by you? Get out the harm by causing stress levels paper, paint, crayons, glue and anything else to to rise.” You may not always make “art work” and let your child get something understand her cues; give ready to send to Grandma and Grandpa thanking yourself time to learn. It’s one of them for the present that comes any time during the most important things you the year. If it is fun, your child will love it and so can learn in these first months. will the grandparents. When she is happy with what As she gets older, let her sign the card you you are doing, you know you write. She will see you writing the main note and are getting it right. it encourages her writing. She will see you being http://www.bornlearning.org thoughtful and it will encourage her. It isn’t too early to teach thank you.

Be Aware of Your Anger Signs Parents become angry with their children; it’s easy to do. Controlling your anger is important for you and also for the example you set for your child. Before you can control your anger you need to become familiar with the signs of your anger which indicate you are upset and about to lose control. Each person has different signs of anger. Here are some to look out for: q your voice volume increases or trembles q your face gets red and flushed q your temples throb q your hands shake q your jaw tightens q you breathe faster q you wish everyone would just leave q you find it difficult to concentrate q you feel out of control These signs help you to know that before you can resolve the situation that caused the anger, you must first get control of your anger. Anger unleashed can do damage to you, to the one the anger is directed towards and to the relationship you have with all of the members of your family. Recognize your own signs of anger and let them be your warning to back off and get control of yourself. http://www.ahaparenting.com Page 4 Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated A REMINDER When you encourage your child to express ideas The three best things parents can do that may be different when their child does unpredictable things: than yours, it lets her 1. Be tolerant know it is OK 2. Develop a sense of humor to be different and 3. Be tolerant and develop a sense of humor not follow the crowd. Clover Part VIT Home and Family Life Newsletter, October 1990. - Joseph P. Smith

Liquid Detergent Pods Studies have shown that liquid detergent Developmental pods can cause eye injuries in children after Tidbits... they squeeze or bite the brightly colored pouches. Remember to put them in a place where kids do not have Rules access to them. Treat them like any other poisonous chemical. http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/10/07/354310056/detergent-pods-can-cause- eye-injuries-in-children

During year ONE, she Did You Know? may follow some rules but Children are filled with questions; ask any parent. others will fly by. Anything But did you know you don’t need to answer all of their requiring safety needs regular questions. When you are asked “Where does the sun supervision. go at night?” or “What happened to Granny when she At age TWO, he understands died?” you can take your time and try turning the question the rules but he may not always around by saying, “What do you think?” This might really follow them. He is now a bit help her explore her thoughts further than if you give her an better about safety rules. answer. Remember, when your child asks a question, she has already been thinking about the answer for some time. At age THREE, she at least understands that there are consequences for not following Spending TIME with Your Children rules. She may even try to get One of the most important things you can give to your into car seat by herself. child, as a mother or a father, is time. It sounds easy but the days fill up so quickly with other things. As a working parent, At age FOUR, he may forget you want to come home and relax. Feeling obligated to spend to put on his safety helmet time with a child may not be your first priority. It is easy to when he rides his tricycle. focus on the need to prepare the evening meal and get the You can even try practicing house cleaned rather than spend time with your young child. emergency drills. Yet, she needs you. Set aside time each day, no matter how At age FIVE, she may be very busy your schedule might be, to just give consistent now, especially about time to her. Time when you won’t answer safety rules. She knows who to the phone, time when you won’t be doing ask for help in an emergency. You can even discuss 911. something else, just time with her. This is Washington State Early Learning and critical time for her. It is time she learns that Developmental Benchmarks, State of she is important to you. Washington 2012. Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated Page 5 Childproofing A Choking Baby Your baby’s new crawling Place the infant face ability brings many safety down across your forearm (resting your concerns along with it. forearm on your leg) and support the However childproof your infant’s head with your hand. Give four house is, there is always the forceful blows to the back with the heel of your hand. You may have to repeat possibility of a pen cap or this several times until the obstructing small object lying around to object is coughed out. fascinate him. Any object http://www.health.harvard.edu/fhg/firstaid/heim- smaller than an inch and a lichInf.shtml half in diameter can block your baby’s airway. If it does appear that your child Mother and Daughter Studies show that high-achieving women is choking try to perform the contribute at least some of their success to Heimlich maneuver. the competitive challenges they remember Consider taking a CPR from when they were younger and to their or first aid course designed relationships with their mothers. As a for treating infants and call mother, you can help your daughter succeed by making education a top priority, stressing the importance of 911 immediately if your child staying “academically challenged”, encouraging her to participate in seems to be in any physical competitive activities, and helping her to see the value in creativity, distress or danger. challenges, and personal contributions. Once again, you are a very “Heimlich Maneuver On An Infant,” important teacher to her. http://www.health.harvard.edu Forsyth, S., Girls Seen and Heard, Putman, 1998.

Preschool Science Science is something your child begins learning about at home. He learns about it as you help him learn to see what is around him and to describe what he sees. He learns about it as he sees the bunny grow into a rabbit or the ducklings become ducks. He learns about it when you show him the changes in nature as Sunglass the trees grow and the bulbs sprout. Help him look at all the science around him Recommendation and become an observer and describer of Cynthia Bidegary, O.D. what he sees. Bet you didn’t know you were Many parents don’t think going to be a science teacher, too. about putting sunglasses on their Washington State Early Learning and Development Benchmarks, The State of kids, but experts say it should Washington, 2012. be as second nature as other sun protection. If your child is in a situation where you’re putting sunscreen on their skin, it should A Place to Point also prompt you to put a hat and Between 2 and 3 years of age, start to follow sunglasses on to shade their eyes. the words on the page with your finger from left to Children’s crystalline lenses right as you read the word. At this age, your child are particularly susceptible to UV is at a stage that he is beginning to understand radiation and, due to their young that words are symbols. age, kids are at a higher risk of Paulson, L. H., et. al., Building Early Literacy and Language accumulative effects that lead to Skills, Sopris, 2001. premature cataracts when they are older. Page 6 Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated REPETITION Introducing Does your toddler always want you to sing the same song over and Letters over? Does she want to do the same puzzle and read the same story Some letters are easier for again? Repetition is the way toddlers learn best. Repeating a task or your child to learn to sound out story gives her confidence because she knows what is going to come than others. By beginning with next. This confidence gives her more control and a feeling of mastery these easier letters, it may help and skill. him understand the connection Just as she loves repeating stories, songs and between letters and sounds more quickly. games, she also appreciates repeating the same Recommended Order sequence of events in routines. Knowing when dinner, of Letter/Sound a bath, a story and a kiss goodnight will happen, gives Introduction her more security and comfort because it is predictable. M, F, N, S, P, Z, http://www.babycenter.com A, T, K, B, V, E, D, J, L, G, O, C, R, I, H, W, U, X, Y, Q Helping Out in Preschool It is easy to see that you can Early childhood education is continually help your child recognize the under-funded, but you can help out just by sound of an “M” or an “F” a lot cleaning out your cabinets and recycle bin easier than a “U” or a “Q.” to supply them with materials for art projects. Help him work on sounding Items you may have that are frequently used include cupcake liners, out some of the easier letters. envelopes, plastic lids, egg cartons, buttons, greeting cards, paper Find them on street signs, in his cups, yarn, foam trays, and juice cans. Check with your preschool to name, or in the newspaper. see if they need materials as you will not only be helping the teacher Paulson, L. H., et. al., Building Early do her job, you will be helping a classroom full of children learn. Literacy and Language Skills, So- Recycled Art Supplies, http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/ pris, 2001.

y blu Next time your baby won’t stop crying, b e pull out that big exercise ball you bought a s B two years ago that has been in the closet collecting dust. Sit and bounce on the ball and your little one may just stop screaming and start cooing. Babies like the rhythmic motion and it’s good for your back and abs! Choosing a Caregiver One Way To Soothe A Fussy Baby, http://www.nickmom.com The best caregiver for your child is one who is loving and responsive. This Children Learn with All Five Senses will be a person who hugs, As your child grows, she will use all of her rocks, cuddles, and seeks eye contact with him. She senses: seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and will respond appropriately smelling to learn about the world around her. to his smiles, growing skills, You can help: and interests. She will talk to • As she learns to watch things for him about what he sees and short periods of time, let her look at herself in a mirror. does. She will introduce new • Give her bright colored and different textured toys to encourage games, objects, and ideas, her to explore and try new things. and support him in his social • Listen to a children’s music CD from the library. When you play it contacts with other children for her, talk about what she is hearing. and adults. Kagan, S. L., et al., Early Learning and Development Benchmarks, The State of Wash- http://www.zerotothree.org/ ington, 2005. Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated Page 7 Nonprofit Org U.S. Postage PAID irst eacher Olympic Mailing Parenting Matters Foundation Services Post Office Box 3323 Sequim, Washington 98382-5021

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Pregnant? Think Protein “Children value themselves to the degree that they have been valued.” Protein needs -Dorothy C. Briggs, Your Child’s Self-Esteem increase when you are pregnant. Protein is what helps develop the How Can I Tell If My Child Is Sick? body cells of your It isn’t always easy to know when a baby is sick. Knowing signs to look for may help. When in doubt, you can call your doctor. growing baby and :: Fever may be the beginning sign of illness. (If her temperature goes build the placenta. up quickly or gets over 102 degrees, call the doctor.) You can meet the :: Difficult breathing is another indication. Watch her chest to see if she need for additional seems to be breathing deeply. protein by eating :: Pulling at her ears may mean an ear infection. Ear infections should plenty of lean meats, not be taken lightly; call the doctor. eggs, beans, fish, :: Glands are swollen just below her ears and down her neck. as well as increasing your :: Sleeping past feeding time or not eating as much as usual (longer than dairy servings. If you are one day). a vegetarian, try to eat a :: Changes in sleeping schedules (if variety of beans, legumes, dramatic, may be another sign). eggs, whole grain products, :: Difficulty waking up - either from naps or dairy products, fruit, and in the morning. vegetables. Remember, you :: Looking pale or a little gray, perhaps with are doing this for your baby. dark circles under her eyes; blue lips. http://life.familyeducation.com Gookin, S. H., Parenting for Dummies, IDG Books, 2012. Copyright © 2015 Partnership in Parenting Incorporated