Unconditional Love and Affection

Diocese of Grand Island Child Protection Office—Child Education Curriculum Components Volume 1, Issue 1

January 2007

Healthy Relationship Concept: Unconditional Love and Affection

Discussion: I Love You. Grades PreK - 4 • If you have to prove that Use with God says, “I Love You.” God • they don’t have to be you deserve someone’s doesn’t say “I love you be- famous, or popular, or love Lessons: cause…” or “I’ll love you talented. ...That’s not unconditional if…” In fact God loves us so and that’s not what God had much He is willing to for- in mind for us. Love Your Neighbor give us our sins and willing to give His only son so that How can I show love? We Love One Another we can be with Him forever. can show love in many ways. When Jesus told us to In our Church community we “Love God with all your show love when we offer Respecting Others heart” and to “Love your each other the sign of peace. neighbor as yourself” He We show love when we help meant for us to show love others, when we use kind unconditionally. That words, when we follow the means that our neighbor We are deserving of uncon- rules, when we pray for one doesn't have to do anything ditional love. God meant another, and when we pray special—they don’t have to this same kind of uncondi- together. We show love to Session Goals: meet any conditions to be tional love for us too. If our friends in many of the deserving of our love: someone tells you : same ways, and by sharing • God loves us uncondi- and playing together. In our • they don’t have to look • “I won’t love you if you tionally. families we might show love or dress a certain way don’t do what I want .“ by giving hugs, or being • “I only love you because • We are called to love • they don’t have to do close. We also show love to you are (pretty, or others as God loves us. everything we say our parents by sharing our strong, or smart)” thoughts and feelings with • Jesus tells us to love God them. and our neighbors. Activities / Games • When we love our neighbors as ourselves Game / Activity - Love your their family, with their friends, Love is—sharing. The Golden Neighbor BINGO in the classroom, etc. Give Rule we are following the each child a bingo card and “Golden Rule.” Grades 2– 4. Introduce the Pre K—1. Give each child a activity by reminding that some markers (paper, beans, cup / sack. Provide bite sized candies, buttons, etc). Play a • If someone puts condi- Jesus asks us to love our snacks such as popcorn, dry neighbor. Identify that our game of BINGO from each cereal, pretzels, etc. Tell the tions on their love, that neighbor can be anyone - a category, calling out ways that students that they will be is not the kind of love friend, a family member, a are appropriate to show love serving a snack to each other. God intended for us. classmate, a teacher, some- in each. (e.g. “Classroom Explain the Golden rule that one we don’t even know. We BINGO” might include listen- Jesus asks us to follow. Ask • Love requires respecting are asked to love and care for ing, following rules, praying them to think about the others and ourselves. all human beings, but the way together, reading together, Golden Rule when deciding we show love to each may be etc. but would NOT include how much snack to put in different depending on the kissing, snuggling, spending their peer’s cup. If they follow kind of relationship we have time alone together, etc.; the Golden Rule—be sure to with them. Have the class while any of the items might notice how much more snack identify ways to show love be called for “Family BINGO.”) they receive that when they that would be appropriate in serve themselves. Page 2

Discussion Grades 9-12 Love is… 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 • when someone is hurt- Unfortunately, a relation- gives us a good definition ful to another ship built on these qualities of what it means to love • when someone insists is likely to be hurtful to one one another. Many cou- on their own way with or more of the individuals ples select this reading little regard for the involved. Jealousy / pos- when they celebrate the needs of others sessiveness can be a sign sacrament of marriage, of a desire for control that but these qualities are not • when someone de- can quickly turn into abu- just qualities of marital or grades or humiliates sive behavior. others romantic love. Patience, Read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. kindness, humility, truth- Other signs of an abusive / • When you come to the fulness, perseverance, controlling relationship are dignity and respect for less clear, and in fact, words “Love is” substi- others are qualities of all some of the very same tute “I am” to help dis- right relationships. Paul’s things that indicate that a cern how you are show- words to the Corinthians relationship isn’t right can ing love to others. provide us with a good feel pretty good. We may • Substitute the name of means of evaluating our feel flattered if someone someone significant in relationships with others; expresses jealousy or is your life to help you helping us to discern if we possessive of our time and determine if the rela- are making good choices attention. We may experi- tionship is really right in our actions toward oth- ence a sense of excitement for you. ers, and helping us to in wrongdoing, or may feel If you think that you are steer clear of hurtful or arrogance / pride in gain- involved in an abusive rela- abusive relationships. ing the attention of some- tionship, you may need help Some signs of an abusive one who seems unattain- getting out. Tell a trusted relationship are clear: able or unapproachable. adult.

Discussion Grades 6-8 “If you really love me…” How many of you have love one another uncondi- others. Remember that heard someone say, “If tionally. When someone God loves you uncondition- you really love me you creates conditions, challeng- ally and that you are de- will…(take out the trash... ing us to prove our love or serving of such love as a listen to what I say, let me prove that we are deserving creature of God. do what I want)”? Some- of theirs, they are not model- If someone is violating times people say it with- ing the kind of unconditional your boundaries, treating out even thinking. As we love God desires for us. you disrespectfully, or ask- grow older and enter When we are loved uncondi- ing you to give up your more exclusive friend- tionally we desire to serve, to values in the name of love; ships and relationships it listen, to open our hearts to let them know , “Love is important to keep in others. True love is based on doesn't work that way.” mind that we are called to respect for ourselves and

Discussion Grades 4-6 Choosing Love As Catholic Christians we how can we not treat others have been different if oth- are called to love our with respect. Think about ers had seen Christ in neighbors as ourselves. the time you spent with other you? We are called to respect people today, think about the You can make a great all human life and to see choices you made—the things difference in the world Christ in all people. Our you said and did. through the choices you love is a concern for oth- Now, picture each of those make. If you see Christ in ers based on our commit- other people as Jesus. others, you will help oth- ment to Christ Jesus. If we Would have made the same ers to do the same—and truly see Christ in others, choices? How would your day they will see Christ in you. Page 7

A Note to Parents

This week we discussed the Right Relationship concept of unconditional love in the context of our religious education lesson. We discussed how God loves us unconditionally and calls us to love our neighbor. We stressed that God wants us to experience the same kind of unconditional love He offers in all of our relationships. We encouraged our students to treat others with respect and to recognize that they too are deserving of respect from others. We differentiated love that is based on meeting certain conditions (“I’ll only love you if…” or “I only love you because…” ) from unconditional love and encouraged your child to share their feelings about relationships with you. At the high school level, we encouraged our students to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 and substitute the words “Am I” for “Love is” to help them discern their role in their current relationships. Next, they were encouraged to substitute the name of significant others in their lives (e.g. friends, boy / girl friend, etc) to help them assess the health of their current relationships. We discussed some signs of risk for abuse in relationships and encouraged them to seek help if they believe they are in an abusive relationship. If you or your teen are concerned that they are in an abusive relationship, you can help by doing the following: • Communicate your unconditional love and support for them. • Don’t criticize or attack their friend / boy- friend/ girlfriend. • Share with them your beliefs about unconditional love and right relationships. • Let them know that you believe they are deserving of unconditional love. • Seek out additional information on signs of abuse. There are many resources available within your community or through the Diocesan Child Protection Office. Call (308)382-6565 or email [email protected] for more information DIOCESE OF GRAND ISLAND CHILD

Child Protection Office 2708 Old Fair Road P.O. Box 1531 Grand Island, NE 68802

Phone: 308-382-6565 Fax: 308-382-6569 E-mail: [email protected]

Diocese of Grand Island Child Protection Office

Key for Activity Grades 4-6 Add this to your Resource Binder Please keep these materials and add them to the resource binder you started last month for your cate- chists.

If you have ideas for future issues, questions, or feed- back on the materials you have received to date. Please contact the Diocesan Child Protection Office at (308)382-6565 or [email protected]. Activity Grades PreK—1 Page 3

Circle the pictures that Love your Neighbor show love. I can show love by:

Helping.

Sharing.

Using kind words.

Playing together.

Praying.

Following the rules.

Sharing my thoughts and feelings.

______

______Page 4 Grades 4-6 Activity

Crossword Puzzle Love Is...

1 2 4

2 3

Across: Down:

1. Love is ______. 1. Love is never ______. 2. Love _____ gives up. 2. Love is not ______. 3. Love is not ____. 3. Love is ______. 4. Love does not ______on its own way. 4. Love rejoices in the ____. 5. Love never _____. 5. Love is never ______.

patient kind insist fails arrogant boastful jealous truth never rude

If you need help, look up 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Grades 7-12 Activity Page 5 Love Is …. How am I? Read the following statements about love from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not at all) to 10 (very much) for each of your significant relationships. When you are finished, think about how the people you are in relationships with would rate. How loving are your relationships? Love is Patient Love is not Rude How patient am I? (not at all) (very much) Do I act rude? (not at all) (very much) with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 to my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Love is Kind Love does not Insist on it’s own way How kind am I? (not at all) (very much) Do I insist on my own way? to my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (not at all) (very much) Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Love is never Jealous Am I jealous? (not at all) (very much) Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 How often do I find myself doing wrong? Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (not at all) (very often) Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Love is never Boastful Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Am I boastful? (not at all) (very much) with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Love rejoices in the truth Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 How truthful am I? (not at all) (very much) Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 with my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Love is not Arrogant Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Do I show arrogance? (not at all) (very much) toward my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Love never gives up Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 How often do I give up? Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (not at all) (very often) on my Parents? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Siblings? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Boy/girlfriend? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Friends? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Grades 2-4 Activity Page 6

L O V E L O V E

Giving Following Helping Playing a Reading Praying Playing a Hugs the Rules Clean Up Game Together Listening Together Game

Praying Spending Helping Using Kissing Sharing my Using Time Alone Holding Kind Together Toys Kind Clean Up Hands Together Words Words

Spending Telling the Giving a Giving a Giving a Giving a Time Alone Telling the Following Truth Backrub Compliment Backrub Compliment Together Truth the Rules

Sharing my Reading Giving a Snuggling Sharing my Giving Giving a Sending Feelings Together Gift Together Allowance Hugs Gift notes or letters

L O V E L O V E

Playing a Following Helping Sharing my Reading Following Helping Playing a Game the Rules Clean Up Feelings Together the Rules Clean Up Game

Using Spending Praying Sharing my Using Kissing Praying Sharing my Kind Time Alone Together Allowance Kind Together Toys Words Together Words

Giving a Giving a Snuggling Giving a Giving a Telling the Listening Telling the Truth Backrub Compliment Truth Together Backrub Compliment

Sending Spending Reading Snuggling Giving notes or Giving a Sharing my Giving a Time Alone Together Together Hugs letters Gift Feelings Gift Together