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Playing with Fire: an Ethnographic Look at How Polyamory Functions in the Central Florida Burner Community

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Playing with Fire: an Ethnographic Look at How Polyamory Functions in the Central Florida Burner Community University of Central Florida STARS HIM 1990-2015 2015 Playing with Fire: An Ethnographic Look at How Polyamory Functions in the Central Florida Burner Community Maleia Mikesell University of Central Florida Part of the Anthropology Commons Find similar works at: https://stars.library.ucf.edu/honorstheses1990-2015 University of Central Florida Libraries http://library.ucf.edu This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by STARS. It has been accepted for inclusion in HIM 1990-2015 by an authorized administrator of STARS. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Recommended Citation Mikesell, Maleia, "Playing with Fire: An Ethnographic Look at How Polyamory Functions in the Central Florida Burner Community" (2015). HIM 1990-2015. 613. https://stars.library.ucf.edu/honorstheses1990-2015/613 PLAYING WITH FIRE: AN ETHNOGRAPHIC LOOK AT HOW POLYAMORY FUNCTIONS IN THE CENTRAL FLORIDA BURNER COMMUNITY by MALEIA MIKESELL A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements For the Honors in the Major Program in Anthropology In the College of Sciences and in the Burnett Honors College at the University of Central Florida Orlando, FL Spring Term 2015 Thesis Chair: Dr. Beatriz Reyes-Foster Abstract This thesis asks the question as to whether polyamory functions as a community glue or solvent for the Central Florida Burner Community. It explores the definition of polyamory and how it relates to the Burner counter-culture. This thesis explores what polyamory’s effects are on the individual and community levels for those who participate in it. The findings concluded that overall the participants reported a perceived positive impact on both the individual level and on community cohesion in this case. The participants also revealed that the environment Burning Man provides is generally open and welcoming of polyamory. ii Acknowledgements I would like to thank Dr. Beatriz Reyes-Foster, my Thesis Chair and Mentor, without whom, none of this would have been possible. Your guidance and advice was indispensable to the success of this paper. I also would like to thank my Committee Members; Dr. Joanna Mishtal and Dr. Shannon Carter, for reviewing my paper and conducting my defense. A heartfelt thank you to all the participants in this study whom were so open, who shared with me their very personal experiences in their relationships and life histories. To those whom welcomed me into this culture, accepted me the way I am and have shown me a whole new world, a very special thank you for enriching my life in such a way. You taught me so many things, but mostly that no matter what, it’s ok to be myself, whomever that may be. I am proud to call you my Burner family. Also, the utmost gratitude to my significant other, Wade Andrew Campbell, who has been so supportive of me throughout my writing of this paper. Thank you to my mother, Jennifer Cherry, who pushed me to do well in school throughout my life and to my father, Mitchell Mikesell, who has always given me all the love and encouragement possible. Thank you to all of the wonderful professors and teachers I’ve had throughout life and especially the Anthropology department at UCF. I’ve been inspired by you all and captivated by all you’ve had to teach me. iii Table of Contents Introduction ..............................................................................................................1 Literature Review ....................................................................................................2 Contrasting and Comparing to Other Forms of Non-Monogamy ............................................... 5 The Burner Community .............................................................................................................. 6 Polyamory in Relation to Community ...................................................................................... 11 Polyamory in Relation to Individuals ........................................................................................ 14 Methods…………………………………………………………………….....….17 Findings ................................................................................................................ 118 Introduction ............................................................................................................................... 20 Definitions and Distinctions ...................................................................................................... 21 Experiences ............................................................................................................................... 22 Benefits to Individuals .............................................................................................................. 24 Benefits to Community ............................................................................................................. 29 Conclusion ...............................................................................................................33 Appendix: Semistructured Interview Questions .................................................35 Perceptions on Polyamory Questionnaire ................................................................................. 35 References Cited .....................................................................................................37 iv Introduction Polyamory (the practice of having multiple lovers) is highly stigmatized in contemporary American society. The people who engage in polyamory are often marginalized, misunderstood and shamed. This shaming can cause severe emotional and social damage to the individuals. Mononormativty (the society-created assumption, compulsion and pressure to be monogamous) and heteronormativity (the society-created assumption, compulsion and pressure to be heterosexual) are oppressive to sexual liberation, place limits on what is acceptable and often form incorrect conclusions about what is possible in love and relationships. Homo sapiens are an extremely adaptive species, especially socially, so the actual restraints on polyamory are more likely to be culturally constructed rather than something biologically impossible. This paper delves into the world of polyamory amongst a subculture who calls themselves Burners (a diasporadic counter-culture based on the ten principles of Burning Man) and asks the question “how does polyamory function to either strengthen or weaken community bonds amongst the Central Florida Burner group?” It should be noted that although polyamorous Burners exist, not all Burners are polyamorous and not all Polyamorists are Burners. Also, Polyamorist Burners can belong to a segregated category or camp itself but more often are they dispersed among many different camps at the events. The goals of this paper are to analyze from a functional perspective, how community bonds are affected by this practice. Also, I aim to provide a more accurate picture, a clear exposure and understanding of polyamory. This paper questions assumed and usually unexamined beliefs of American mononormativty. This paper begins with a look at the literature defining polyamory, its effects on community and its effects on individuals. Also, it explains what exactly Burners are to contextualize the group being studied. Then, the paper explains the methods of the research, the experiences of the participants and their reported effects on community and themselves. A conclusion wraps up the piece with an answer to the research question. Literature Review First and Foremost, defining the term “polyamory” can be rather difficult in itself. The word can be used as an umbrella term to describe various non-monogamous practices, sexual orientation and identity, or philosophy (Klesse, 2014, Shannon 2010, Haritaworn, 2006). The practices are diverse but there are two divergent schools of thought on whether or not solely sex- based relationships qualify (Klesse, 2006). Sexual orientation in its traditional understanding can at times be problematic when attempting to understand polyamory, due to issues like fixity over fluidity and rigid gender definitions, but can be operationalized as one’s current sexual preferences. Identity can be operationalized as a sense of self being connected to the culture of polyamory (Klesse, 2006). The philosophy can be independent of all else and a very useful worldview outside the practice as well. Polyamory has been described as a relationship model, a sexual practice, a sexual orientation, and a philosophy. As a sexual practice, polyamory is most often described by scholars as consensual, communicative, honest, responsible non-monogamies which may be expressed in a variety of styles. It is often described as including romantic, sexual, affectionate and friendly emotions with multiple people simultaneously. “Polyamory differs from swinging with its emphasis on long- 2 term, emotionally intimate relationships and from adultery with its focus on honesty and (ideally) full disclosure of the network of sexual relationships to all who participate in or are affected by them” (Sheff, 2005: 252). So, traditionally it is distinguished from sex-based relationships. The various forms of the more stringent definitions would include polyfidelity (multiple people being faithful only to those involved), open relationships (where one couple may engage with others under specific boundaries), hierarchical relationships (where people have primary partners, secondary partners and so forth), egalitarian relationships (where all people involved feel equally close to
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