The Cord Weekly
There was a ...last week in explosion... Wilfs Page 26 ,musical _ ...... - * Volume 44 Issue 13 Wednesday November 5, 2003 www.clublaurier.ca The gay Res rescinded Glass, Head of Guidance, After five years, Laurier backs down "Laurier might lose out escapades on good students coming on guaranteed residence policy from small towns." adds Dallas, APRIL CUNNINGHAM scholarships, After that, Peter guidance coun- Six straight guys spend an Staff Writer entry is based (up the sellor at MSS. to tar- lies get total) on average enter- The challenge in adventurous night at the gay bar After five years of maintain- ing grades." effectively predicting the ing- an open-ended residence As a result of this change 'target total' specified in the guarantee for incoming- first in policy, students applying policy. The closer the admin- istration comes to matching year students, Laurier's with an. average below 80% to the administration has decided may not get into residence. the predicted number that this promise lias been actual number of students too hard to keep. applying, the fewer the "There had to be some Change in policy amount of students who kind of qualification." says means students could potentially miss out on David McMurray, Dean of residence. Students and member of the applying with an Anthony Pisciteili, a stu- Enrollment Management average below dent representative on the Committee, which made the Boai'd of Governors, says decision. 80% may not get that since 1998 the current been Every year the school into residence. administration has estimates a target total doing a bad job at predicting amount of students who will enrollment. enroll and seek residence Guidance counsellors at Between 1998 and 2001, space. Wilfrid Laurier's Midland Secondary School, a net total of 962 students Admissions Viewbook for which typically sees a good applied over the estimated 2004 states that Laurier will number of graduates head- target number. That number guarantee residence for stu- ing to Laurier, think this was only 13 between 1992 dents within this targeted may affect students' deci- and 1997. number. "If that target is sions to apply here: "They exceeded, the guarantee still will probably rank Laurier on page 2 applies to all those on entry lower now," says Hillary Continued
Men making out was just one of the sights seen when male Cord staff members made their virgin voyage to Club Renaissance. WILBUR MCLEAN Editor-in-chief guy just checked us "Club Renaissance, please." out. In a cramped hall- The dead silence follow- Thatway, single file, waiting ing* the request made to our to pay our $2.50 cover, a old-school taxi driver was club patron leaving- the bar awkward, but not complete- for a cigarette sporting his ly unexpected considering- bleach blonde hair, gave our destination was each of the six of us a look- Kitchener-Waterloo's num- see. It was clear he didn't ber one '•alternative" night- like any of us, though, as club. We were going' to the indicated by the brevity of Laurier Athletics gay bar. Alas, the only word his up-and-down, which did- muttered by the curt, mid- n't evolve into the "I'll- Defensive lineman Justin Shakeli (91) squares off against a Queen's tackle in Saturday's OUA semi- dle-aged man over the entire deposit-hiin in to-the • sav- final. The Hawks won 36-33 in double overtime to advance to the Yate's Cup where they will take ten-minute trip was ings-account-and-make-a- on runningback Jesse Lumsden and the McMaster Marauders. For more on the win, see page 23. "Abstract", correcting* us withdrawal-later-tonight" after a short debate about look, all too well known to the identity of a club we anyone, regardless of their passed 011 the way. bar of choice. So began the night for The homosexuality of Women's hockey coach six heterosexual males split everybody, from the blonde- into two separate cabs, fore- haired smoker to the coat going a typical Saturday check guy to the bouncer night say of keggers, Phil's and who examined our IDs, was fired, sources The Turret in favour of what stereotypically evident. would be an evening of While it's natural to expect WILBUR MCLEAN The Cord Weekly was able week by Bowker. While none transvestites, flaunting'ly everyone in Ren to be gay, Editor-in-Chief to contact Bowker at his of the players were willing' gay shooter guys, dirty old these people were the types Ottawa home early Tuesday, to comment officially, both men and stereotypes both that could easily be picked Reports indicate that but Bowker refused com- Blundy and Djukie were perpetuated and eliminated. out in any crowd as being Laurier Women's Hockey ment when asked about his reinstated following' But first, there was this gay. Coach, Bill Bowker, was situation. Bowker's dismissal, sources taxi driver, giving' us a Being just past 11:30, the fired from, his head coaching A team meeting was within the team said, healthy dose of the cold club was sparse. position late last week. reportedly held over the No official statements shoulder. Pulling into the Smatterings of people were There is no official com- weekend, informing- the have • been posted on the Club Ren parking lot, we on the dance floor, while a ment from Athletics at this players of the decision but Laurier Athletic's website handed over our fare with a few others sat at nearby time as Athletic Director few questions were and all website directives healthy tip included. tables or played pool. A bar- Peter Baxter said "I am not answered at that time. and phone extensions still "Thank you very much, tender soon informed us, at liberty to say right now," The reported termination maintain Bowker as the sir", 1 said in a final attempt however, that the place does- while Athletic Development comes shortly after two head coach. at contact. n't pick up until midnight, Officer Holy Webster direct- players, Merritt Blundy and. The Cord Weekly will have Silence. peaking at 1 am. ed any questions back to Candice Djukic, were cut a full report next week. (continued on page 16) Baxter. from the team early last 2 News Wednesday November 5. ?on3 Democratic forum draws few Few students attend session Wilfrid Laurier University, as other universities. Some of as Directors Piscitelli, Borrelli an institution, has a no- the points that were made by deficit policy. A no-deficit pol- Directors Borrelli ancl and Kumar raise questions concerning university budget icy means that the university Piscitelli included: Laurier isn't allowed to run a deficit finishing' last in the 2002 COLIN DUFFETT Borrelli and Rishi Kumar. As Piscitelli and Borrelli budget and is only one of two McLean's rankings regard- News Editor Their presentation, which pointed out, the long term Ontario universities that are ing first and second year- was accompanied by a hand- debt as of April 30. 2002 was currently running a deficit. class sizes and 19th out of 21 Have you ever wanted to file out, dealt with a variety of $52, 983. 000. As of April 30, The only other university universities when it came to grievances with the Wilfrid topics including the 2003, the University's debt to run a deficit is the third and fourth year classes. Laurier University Students' University Budget, growth will increase to an estimated University of Toronto, which As Dan Herman, WLUSU Union? Ever had concerns within the Laurier communi- $97, 018, 000, These points is currently going through a President noted, the that you wanted to get off ty, the quality of the WLXJ were coupled with the fact major construction and University's slogan your chest? Well, too bad. degree and class sizes. that the University has run a reconstruction phase. "Canadian Excellence," does- You missed your opportuni- In their presentation the deficit for five of the past six The other portion of their n't exactly ring true when ty. Directors shed light on some years. presentation that raised the you are comparing your uni- Thursday, October 30 saw very interesting- issues such The reason why this made most eyebrows was the por- versity to Brock/ Nipissing, the WLUSU Board of as the long-term debt that the for such an important point tion regarding* class sizes Trent and Lakehead, univer- Directors, clad in their gray University has accumulated. in the presentation is because here at Laurier compared to sities that hardly are consid- and orange sweaters, congre- ered among Canada's best. gated in the Concourse for Ironically enough, Laurier what the BOD termed a ranks behind all four univer- Democratic Forum. The point sities in the class size catego- of the Democratic Forum was ry. to allow the undergraduate "If we are going to consid- students of WLU a chance to er ourselves among Canada's voice concerns and allowed best we should be comparing them an opportunity to hear- ourselves to school's like about what the WLUSU Queen's, Western and Board of Directors has been Toronto," said Herman. up to. As well as seeing the pres- WLUSU Board and WLU entation by Piscitelli and Board of Governors member Borrelli, audience members Anthony Piscitelli remarked were also treated to small ses- "it's important to keep the sions by Vice President: student body up to date." University Affairs Meighan Those who put on the Doherty, WLUSU President forum and the few students Dan Herman and the Dean of who attended the forum were Students David McMurray. forced to compete with, the The forum ended with a surrounding booths which question period. The ques- were set up to peddle their tion period was designed so products and services. These that students could voice a distractions coupled with the specific concerns or ask ques- dull roar associated with sev- tions of the Directors. Issues eral hundred students muck- that were raised by students ing about in The Concourse included office hours, made it difficult for anybody Director accountability, and to hear anything being said first year representation and including Vice-Chair of the student representation in Board of Directors Lyndsey university affairs. Jones. The Board of Directors One of the main focuses of Colin Dutfett will be holding another one the Democratic Forum was a of these Democratic Forums presentation by Directors Meighan Doherty, Wilfrid Laurier University Students' Union Vice President: University Affairs, speaks up in the winter semester. Anthony Piscitelli, Michael at the recent democratic forum as members of the WLUSU BOD look 0n... thoroughly enthralled. No guarantees Bag O' Crime Continuedfrom cover year. THEFT UNDER $5000 FRI involved in a minor alterca- And non-traditional MEDICAL ASSIST 2320 HRS if OCT - MON OCT 27/03 tion with a door staff mem- NOV the spots are not "we 24/03 SAT 01/03 Piscitelli fears adminis- available, A contractor working- at the ber. The male was issued with An a tration use [this will do everything possible to ambulance responded to "will policy] King St Residence a written trespass notice. call at House to make sure the to reported 911 Little as an excuse continue with adjustment that person(s) unknown stole regarding- highly intoxicat- the chronic overenrollment university is positive," says a a safety harness over the MEDICAL ASSIST 1430 HRS ed student. He was transport- that has characterized their McMurray. A new depart- weekend. FRI 31/03 ment within OCT ed to Grand River Hospital. reign." Residence A residence student experi- He says that since the gov- Services called the THEFT UNDER $5000 1300- encing severe stomach MISCHIEF SAT MON 01/03 - ernment only provides addi- Community Services and Off HRS MON OCT 27/03 cramps was transported to tional to a Housing- will 1900 SUN NOV 02/03 funding maximum Campus Office Six thefts of hospital with a residence dis- students personal proper- Person(s) unknown of 3% growth, overenroll- help these find at the staff member. to ty from various floors charged a fire extinguisher ment causes the already places live. were the "Any student will Library reported. The in basement area of large deficit to continue to be sup- items had been left unattend- ASSAULT 0115 HRS SAT says MacDonald House. increase. ported," McMurray. ed for a short of time. 01/03 Rosehart that the period NOV "[The growing debt] admits A A WLU student change of policy "is of number of the articles were and an POSSESSION OF DRUGS becomes a burden on the uni- a bit recovered minus any cash unidentified male exchanged 0150 HRS SUN NOV 02/03 versity and results in lower fine print, but unless the that they contained. punches after exchanging Waterloo world were to totally fall Officers attended at program quality," says words outside Leupold College Hall response a Piscitelli. apart, it's still our intention in to THEFT UNDER $5000 Residence. Security was request for assistance from Since 1998, has to provide residence for first MON Laurier OCT 27/03 - TUE OCT 28/03 notified after the unidentified residence staff about some been last in its category for year students." Custodial staff reported the male left the scene. marijhua- One of the main reasons residents smoking student to faculty ratios in theft of their pager at 232 na one of the lounges. The annual for changing- the policy is to in Maclean's magazine's King. MEDICAL ASSIST 1850 HRS drugs were seized and turned ranking. avoid the situation of triple SAT NOV rooms, which occurred two 01/03 over to Regional Police. The Dr. Robert Rosehart, THEFT UNDER $5000 0100- An ambulance was called for matter will also be forwarded President and Vice- years ago. The amount of stu- 0300 HRS a student complaining about Affairs dents who accepted offers of SUN OCT 26/03 to the Judicial Chaneellor of Wilfrid Laurier, Person(s) unknown stole a abdominal pain. The student Council. says that the reason why the admission and residence wallet from an insecure was transported to hospital. greatly exceeded the amount target total is so hard to esti- apartment at the Bricker MISCHIEF SAT NOV - available, 01/03 mate is because students are of space and those Residence. Investigation con- ASSAULT 0025 HRS SAT 02/03 offers couldn't be withdrawn. SUN NOV applying to eight to ten uni- tinues. NOV 01/03 Person(s) unknown removed versities on average. "If consciously allows us Two to Turret staff members a number of items of play "We're trying to lobby the 'out* that we never have THEFT UNDER $5000 1900- were assaulted by a male equipment from the YMCA with the university system to have triples again," says 2100 HRS TUE OCT 28/03 patron whom they were Rosehart. He that bas- Day Care play area and scat- limit students to five choices says A student reported the theft attempting to evict from the tered them around the park- on " so that it is more pre- ing residence placement of her walkman" at St premises. A WLU officer was lot at the rear of St will be last ing dictable," lie says. grades only a Michael's campus. also assaulted when attempt- Michael's Campus. Both Rosehart and resort. ing to assist. A female friend The administration is also McMurray are confident that BREAK, ENTER & THEFT of the patron was also evicted TELEPHONE confident HARASSING the chang-e in policy will not that enrollment WED OCT 29/03 - THU OCT for attempting to interfere. CALLS 2300 HRS SUN NOV cause any problems. When will steadily decrease over 30/03 Both, parties were subse- the next few 02/03 residence spaces run out they years. Person(s) unknown broke quently subdued and escort- A WLU student reported say they will not leave these Plans are being- developed into the stadium press box ed from the premises. After receiving a number of inap- students in the dark. for growth of the graduate and removed some audio being spoken to at the calls from a and less propriate phone "If we go over the target programs emphasis equipment. Security Office they were The matter is on the undergraduate male person. enrollment we'll try, like we pro- apologetic and left without under investigation. did this year, to continue to grams over time. CAUSE DISTURBANCE 0015 further incident. The matter Administration hopes it will accommodate them," says HRS FRI OCT 31/03 will be forwarded to the During this time period, two Rosehart, referring to the correspond with the double A non WLU male was evicted Judicial Affairs Council. warnings were issued for 400 students living' in non- cohort 'bubble* as it flows from Wilfs after being liquor violations. traditional residences this through university. Wednesday November 5.2003 News 3
On Our Way to Winter Forecast: It's gonna be a chilly one boys and girls
New appointment made Relations, Liaison Services JENNIFER ASSELIN and Public Affairs. THIS WEEK IN LAURIER HISTORY... News Editor very pleased to be "I am & joining the University Thursday, November 4,1984 Tuesday, November 8,1984 Wilfrid Laurier University Advancement team at has a new member to add to Laurier," said Hayter. Headlines: Allegations fly against dining hall & Laurier Food Service their Advancement team with "Laurier has always questioned the new appointment of Scott impressed me as a vibrant, Hayter as the Assistant Vice- successful academic commu- Charges against Millie Reiner, Manager of Laurier Food Services, President: Development. nity with a well-deserved rep- ran amok as mismanagement, negligence, unfair labour practices "This is a key appoint- utation for providing a high and the serving of tainted meat were the specials of the day. ment and will have a signifi- quality educational experi- A cook's helper who worked in the Laurier kitchen for two cant impact on the institu- ence." years, headed up the charges saying that he was not recalled into tion's ongoing success," com- Hayter begins work with work after being laid-off for the' summer months. mented Arthur Stephen, the Advancement team on The most disturbing charges were that Reiner and another Laurier s Vice President: January Ist, 2004 with his shift cook would sometimes select good pieces of meat from a University Advancement. responsibilities including all carton another cook already discarded because the meat was aspects of the university's bad. Also allegedly used was meat that had freezer burn. She also accusations that she use the "I am very pleased development function, admitted to would including the approaching kitchen sinks while food was being prepared and served to have to be joining the capital campaign. He will her hair washed and dyed. provide leadership in the Other allegations included the use of hamburger meat that University was once disposed of having been refrozen, ground and used area of Laurier's financial wlu.ca up Advancement team resources as well as develop in spaghetti sauce. and forth ideas, which Newly appointed Assistant VP: Reiner denied these charges and a health inspector claimed at Laurier. Laurier put that there will enhance donor cultiva- Development, Scott Hayter. , were no problems. has impressed me." tion and stewardship. -Scott Assistant VP: "He's putting together a Hayter, team to head up the capital Development venture," said Stephen on - .■ ■ ......
12. Hayter's job description. .„ *. v 12, M Before moving to the UK, |.: 1 ; . ,?. y 1 ; Hayter gained experience by T /v g- Hayter brings with him being Associate Director, experience, which includes External Relations (develop- increasing the funds raised ment) at Brock University, for the University of Durham Deputy Headmaster at Robert M in the UK by more than 700 Land Academy and an officer percent by 2003, over 1996 in the Royal Canadian l levels. Regiment, Canadian Army. Laurier Advancement includes departments of Wkg BpW'' Development, Alumni CLijijpaiiilDii, iy LysiiJ Qmtigzj A reminder from the 1 SPECIAL HEEDS OFFICE [m$ mW 2C 'i:CCLHwi If you are planning on writing your Fall 2003 Finals through Special Needs, pleasebookthem NOW!
Bookings received on or before Wednesday, Novemberl 2,2003 will be guaranteed space.
DROP BY 1 Cll, ARTS WING FOR THE FORMS.
y : / / ' • v A / J'<'' // / 'y - / /' {' ' -/' Lan McLean John Turvey David Wellhauser Mayoral review of the debt load the city is Lan McLean is an Executive John Turvey is a believer of Wellhauser, a recent Laurier DAN POLISCHUK carrying at the time being. Director at the Workplace taking responsibility. This is graduate, believes that all Cord Intern Waterloo is facing having to Safety and Insurance Board. best exemplified through facets under public scrutiny about one million dollars As a long time resident of how he hopes the City of should be recognized. The Municipal Election in f»ayor 30 years, most of it Waterloo, he has also been Waterloo will cope with envi- Environmentally, he would the City of Waterloo will cer- because of the RIM Park fias- acting as sales and market- ronmental issues. Such put an immediate ban on pes- tainly be one of the most co. This means each ing advisor to several uptown things as picking up litter is ticides as well as expand the interesting when the Waterloo resident will have businesses. a big part of it. Another city's reforestration projects. November iOth voting day to pay roughly $2,118 In the past he has also aspect is the green roof tech- About lodging houses, comes around. through taxes, compared to been a member of the City of nology of which Turvey is an Wellhauser believes that $317 for Kitchener resi- Waterloo Economic advocate. restrictions should solely be This election is dents. Development Committee. This candidate is in favour the responsibility of the uni- Another challenge of the of improving the region's versity and the province, not seen as a very council will be to work as a transportation system. The the city. Before making any one team with their fellow coun- creation of a Light Rail by-law changes he hopes to significant selors. The role of the mayor System with a connection to determine if there are appro- because of the will be to set priorities, pro- Cambridge is seen as a possi- priate property standards in grams and budgets for the bility. place and if they have been debt load the city city as well as monitoring As for the issue of lodging- strictly enforced. is carrying at the the performance of their houses, Turvey believes that On. transportation, only staff. the City needs to develop a after reviewing- an overall time being. Other important issues, plan for the future that is fair assessment of the transporta- which have been debated to everyone. tion system will lie possibly among all candidates has consider any changes. In the running for mayor been public transit. Interest in 2003 are Herb Epp. an has been put into either a MPP for the Waterloo area Light Rail Transit System or the past 13 years and a for- a connection with the GO rate finances. mer mayor of the city in Train or GO Buses, the effect Susan Motkaluk Most recently, she has 1974 and 1976; Lynne of urban development on the involved herself in volunteer- Woolstencroft, the mayor of local environment and the Motkaliik lias worked in ing- for the Waterloo Region Waterloo for the past three state of housing* by-laws. watershed management for Teen Esteem Program as well terms; Ben Brown a new- The main responsibility the Laurel the Creek Watershed as being - a member of the comer to political front; of thismayor will be gaining Monitoring Program. Professional Engineers and Marty Taylor, the back the trust of the City In the past, she lias also Association, founder of Morty's Pub. Council, city staff and, most worked for the City of This election is seen as a importantly, that of the com- All photos contributed Waterloo, managing- corpo- very significant one because munity. WEDNTsnAY November 5.2003 News 5 Ten questions with David Wellhauser 7. Every candidate wants to News editor Colin Duffett sits down with Uptown Ward 5 Students should be con- reduce the debt and balance cerned with all elections. the budget etc. Why do you candidate David Wellhauser before election day to discuss Everybody who can vote and think your policies would people who can't should be work as opposed to others issues surrounding the upcoming municipal election concerned with elections and what does it involve? the because that affects us in our the Well. there's several. and monthly activity reports. daily lives. Traditionally, Pay as you go is basically COLIN DUFFETT Increasing transparency is I want people to be able to be candidate that has the zero-based budgeting'. We News Editor an issue, both at the Laurier able to come and talk to me University in their ward sits test propose expenses on the Board of Governors and in directly and phone. on the Board of Governors. standard of "do we need it," Secondly, community 1. Some people see your age the municipal government. I think that's the first step "can we afford it,"and "can as a negative rather than a Increasing transparency, in accountability. Increasing* safety, student-housing we do without it." positive attribute. How would restoring financial stability, the amount of communica- issues, lodging houses, all of you respond to those people? property standards and pro- tion between residents and these types of issues fall 8. Do you realistically expect tecting the health of the com- their elected officials. In under the jurisdiction of the to win this election? That's clearly not true. My munity - those are the impor- terms of* the rest of my plat- municipal government. youth actually is an asset. I tant issues. form, if you look at it, all of it Yes. A lot of people in this have energy, enthusiasm and Community health is the makes sense all of it needs to "Well, when I community expect me to win. I have the experience on a lot main issue and all of those get done and we just need to I was the only candidate at of these municipal issues. points are encompassed by get the City-Centre working' received the e-mail the debate that spoke to the I'm 25 and I've been community health. on these issues. I was quite issues. involved in the local political I think we need a better We have to come tog-ether . I'm running- because I'm process my entire adult life. system of registering land- as a community: staff, elected surprised... I driven and committed to the I've sat on the student hous- lords, so the City could officials and residents and we thought it was in community that raised me. ing task force, student com- approve certain landlords. have to work together. Now, I have a serious chance munity interaction commit- I do think its important to poor taste." of winning because every day tee, sat on numerous commu- ensure that there is a proper 4. What was your reaction to I'm getting telephone calls nity groups: Seven method of enumerating stu- the e-mail from your oppos- from people that I don't know Generations. Highway 7 dents and I think a way we ing candidate John Turvey personally saying- that they Alternatives, I founded the could do that is encouraging aslking you to step out of the 6. Are there any student spe- are endorsing me, that they Waterlooians. I volunteered landlords to enumerate stu- race? cific issues in this election would like a lawn sign, that for three years for K-W Out dents as part of their lease. If and do you think students they would like to volunteer of the Cold and I was born students don't want to be Well, when I received the e- actually care? for the campaign and more and raised in Waterloo. I did enumerated then they don't mail I was quite surprised. It importantly, that they are my undergraduate degree at have to. was good to see that I was Yes. There are a number of going to vote for me. Wilfrid Laurier University viewed as such a contender issues that intimately involve If I'm getting' this strong a where I was Vice President: early on in the election. I did- students. I don't like to say response from what we call University Affairs. "My age is a n't respond to it. I'm still run- they are student specific the permanent residents and My age is a positive. I positive. I it's ning that's basically my because they are community I have strong' following at think its good to have a wide, think response. I thought it was in specific. Wilfrid Laurier, we need diverse group of representa- good to have a poor taste. Traditionally, and I know 3,000 votes to win it and it tives representing' the people This email, considering this from, students and being' looks like we're on track. of Waterloo. wide, diverse group the historical problems of low one myself, students are There is a generational of representatives voter turnout, low candidate treated as two-thirds of a res- 9. How do you do feel about divide in our society. I con- turnout is why I think we ident in the City of Waterloo. your time in WLUSU politics. stantly here from older peo- representing the have these problems in That's g'ot to stop. The thing' How has it helped you and ple that the youth should be people of Waterloo because the commu- is, those issues that affect the what advantage does that more active. I'm not a youth nity isn't working- together whole community also affect give you? anymore, I'm an adult, and Waterloo." with council and staff at the the student stakeholder I'm getting up there. City-Centre to address these group. My time at Wilfrid Laurier With student issues being issues. I thought it was in I think there needs to be was extremely helpful in a major concern in the com- 3. You made some big claims poor taste because the more more communication terms of personal develop- munity, I can really help in your platform, like every- candidates that run the between the City-Centre and ment. Also, while Executive build bridges between differ- body else. What makes you healthier our local democra- student renters on their Vice-President: University ent stakeholders in our com- accountable to your con- cy is. I think that anything* rights as tenants. Affairs for the Students' munity. I think a poisonous stituents? that is done to limit the There needs to be proper Union I sat on the student mind would think that way amount of candidates in an enforcement when a student community and action phase, because it really is a Well first of all if you look at election is in poor taste and is or another lodging house the student housing- task strength, my track record at Wilfrid fundamentally in opposition renter files a complaint. force. I participated in nego- Laurier, I'm accessible and to the democratic principles There needs to be adequate tiations with the region for a 2. What is the most impor- I'm here to represent my con- that we should hold dear. enforcement provided by the universal bus pass. So I'm tant issue in the municipal stituents. city and the province. intimately familiar with a lot election? When elected I will start 5. Why should students vote Another issue is the uni- of" the issues that are impor- both more holding - weekly office hours in the municipal election? versal bus pass. It's impor- tant to the estab- tant for students to be mobile lished interests in the com- so that they can g'et to the munity as well as the migra- grocery store, so they can go tory demographics that some out and do their shopping. It say the students fall into. would even allow them to live further away from the uni- 10. What three things would versity where rent is more you bring with you if you affordable and the housing is were stuck on a deserted more decent. island? More late night bus serv- ice is needed. That also ties I'd bring a comfortable couch into community safety. We with a shade structure, my are currently having a prob- home entertainment system lem with an attacker, a sick with my Trailer Park Boys individual assaulting people DVD and an unlimited sup- and if we had a better late ply of Gold Crown Beer. night bus service people would be safer, Syivia - |||, jj£S|B|jBp - 1 I {XSMMf. -iiMr- IHH{|hM^n^HHHHHHDHnigSgHHHH^H JUKI OC * »c£ori-p«o>» 6 Princess • David Wellhauser, * http://princess.sentex.net Street West 885-2950 Uptown Ward 5 Candidate, takes time out of his busy schedule to answer ten ques- /W™** tions with The Cord Weekly. Located in Uptown Waterloo Opinion 6 Wednesday November 5.20Q3 The Cord Weekly Another vicious The tie that binds cycle since 1926 A Wilfrid Laurier University order to gain experience which I Student Publication You need money to go to school, a job to can take out into the "real" Floor, world Third Fred Nichols Campus Centre and get a job. Everything- sounds 75 UniversityAvenue West, make money, and school to get a job. hunky-dory right? Good. It Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 should, plenty of students do it all the time. But (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 Don't get me started on getting a gun... what happens to school when you are responsible Fax: (519) 883-0873 News This is hardly the place to do so. for an entire section hi a student Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3560 What I'm trying to say is that newspaper, and where does your www.wlusp.com Editor in ay be Alice Cooper is right and part-time job at East Side Mario's e-mail: [email protected] it took me eight years to finally fit in? Now you have to split the figure out why. day into thirds: no, make those Like the majority of you that quarters because we aren't "You spit out that 'ish." Data really Colin attend Laurier to take out from Start Trek; we still need - Wilbur McLean t had a to "I really did, because mucus was present" Duffett loan to come to this institution of sleep. -Stefan Sereda higher learning. Like many more I'm not going to add the girl- "Can t g'o to of you, said loan had to be friend and friends into the equa- Editorial Board school increased to continue to pay the tion because you already get the Cuz I ain't got a gun intolerably high fees that are idea. In order to be successful in 1 ain't got a gnu associated with going- to universi- this world you need an education Editor-in-Chief Wilbur McLean Cuz I ain't got a job ty. Sounds simple right? Good. (university), money (job), experi- Production Manager Caitun Howlett I ain't got a job Now it's time to throw in the ence (newspaper editor) and some Cuz I can't go to school wrench. part-time sort of ability to be News Editors Jennifer Asselin monkey Add a social (girl- So I'm looking- for a girl with a job to the mix. After all, you have friend and best friends) and they Colin Duffett gun and a job to pay for the loan you just took are all connected. Opinion Editor Stefan Sereda Don't you know where you are? out. Now, you are working- and My life has become the Tim Lost in America." attending* school, Burton version Bryn Boyce which in itself of the Never- International Editor Ending Story, complete with odd, Entertainment Editor Chris Clemens I first heard these lyrics eight The Coop has intriguing characters and dark, Sports Editor Derek Iwanuk years ago when I was 14 years melancholy sets. Reluctantly, I've old. I can remember sitting in my never been become a part of a system that Straightest shy of Features Editor The room playing NHL '94, scoring- functions as a viscous circle, con- Student Life Editor Jessica McLaughlin goal after goal with Joe ,1 uneau saying what he tinually feeding on itself. Arts Editor Katie West of all people, and rocking out to wants to say... So what is a guy to do? It these lyrics. I don't think I ever out Thompson takes four years to get of the Special Projects Editor Thomas really understood the true mean- chopping up baby circle and I still have one year left ing of the song or what Alice dolls with an axe to go. I'm gonna take a page Cord Staff Cooper was trying to say until I outta Alice's lyric book and say came to university. comes to mind. the solution is that I'm looking Production Assistants Amy Mallett The Coop, part of one of classic for a girl with an education, Carly Beath April Cunningham rock's greatest bands, has never experience and money. If she has Denise Fung Ananthan Sundaresan been shy of saying what's on his is like a full-time job. So. now you all of those qualities then I'm mind and doing something to are working- two jobs but you are sure everything will be all right. Jam Eater Jackie Cain back it up; chopping up baby paying for one and getting paid Why worry? I'm just gonna say Copy Editing Manager Amanda Elliott dolls with an axe is a memorable for the other, which means that 'Welcome to my Nightmare." and Associate Copy Editor Amy Rogers example. In fact. I'd go so far as you now have to split the day into turn up Cold Ethyl on the stereo. to say that Alice Cooper wrote the two sections to complete both Copy Editors Kim Brown book on teenage angst long- tasks. The task is a little more Kevin Field Kate Johnston before teenage angst was a catch difficult but completely doable. Liz Goheen Brenda Heatley phrase. Time to add the next chapter of This editorial isn't an homage the story: Photo Manager Matt Benassi to the career of Vincent Further. I work for this newspaper in Distribution Manager Tali Spivak Advertising Manager Elisabeth Oliveira discuse Ad Production Manager Nicole Wilker Ad Production Asst's Sarah Fabbro What do you mean, ass Kam Athwal Mikel Sala your IT Manager lan Lochbihler WLUSP Administration is juicy? That's kind of gross President Laura Jardine of the pant if you want to think of VP: Finance Tunde Igli Some fashion statements just should not it that way. But a word that VP: Advertising Angela Foster describes how nice a woman's Board of Directors be made. That said, would anyone mind if bunt cakes are only serves to per- petuate the objectification of Marc Henein Sandra Mackenzie I wore and gloves as a pair? women. That's right, those pants Bryden Gage Jennifer McDonald OJ's MJ's you wore for a larf just set the Adam Fox Mike D'Aloisio feminist movement back years. Opinion to distinguish her buttocks as When you wear pants with a Corporate Secretary Amanda Kirkwood "juicy," when Gage's Canadian word like "saucy," or "bullseye" Editor Dictionary defines this word as on the bum bum, you let your ass "full of juice"? Does the woman do all the flirting. And you won- Contributors have dysentery, and if so does her der why guys don't care about boyfriend know about this? Is he Dion Moore, Brifeny tavery, Brendan Jones, Dave Bone. Darnel Roth, Stefan your mind, your personality, Kate Ziegier, Ateksandra Ancian, Ben Puzanov, Michael Botreffi, Anthony into that? Does the whole campus your breasts or whatever else you Piscueiii, Kris Cote Mike Brown. Dan Wilson Bernard Dawson, Rich Sereda need to know about her squishy would rather be appreciated for. Kawamoto. Enc Chow, Radio Laurier, Chad McCorcftc. Kyie Francis problem down there? No wonder men everywhere still Diamond Jack Dow. SVteighan Doherty, Dan Polischuk Michelle Pinchev, Allow me to digress from my judge women by their curves (see D'Sou;;a Cheryl Haines, Erlka Ivanic, Brian Daniel Roth (I appreciate the usual tirade on matters of utter number 8 of Shifty "s Top Ten). compliment, but that Why would a was i preppy? Arid my shoes sucked? Dude, I'm importance and universal It is sad that the self-conscious about this siuit;, the CM) Renaissance patrons, appallingly armageddon. Sometimes when young lady want to fashion police and everyday soci- Chesher ~vest can spell, Scott lust because i now make you read these the path weak, Pole and aying just for the travelling of life, you ety had such a problem with ass- every Ben...you're airighi too, cleans- come across a distinguish her ing trophy husband .we need to bond more, Marnyard tor the Hawk sign glaring at you less pants, but still holds state- Fir;qers and exlia plum sauce, pink taoo (Cailiin's favorite colour). die? so blatantly that you just have to buttocks as ment-butt pants to be acceptable Vanite Coke M&Ms. Starburst. Roy Orbison's presence or lack thereof, take the detour into more cheeky attire. Natural beauty is too Neil, Bob anci Little Guy for the groceries, and Reactine. territory. In this case, the path "juicy?" Does the provocative, but categorizing -SSJS and the superfriends was the line at Harvey's, the sign woman have what type of meat you're carry- read "juicy," and the cheeky terri- ing around isn't faux pas? Good luck Susy in the Fear Factor tiling tomorrow. Remember that vic- to tory was the derriere that said dysentery? Just as people scowl at assless tory moans you either write me a cheque or*ziippppC The international word was printed on. sign ball-grabbing... got pants, they would do the same if for Cailie lor ensuring Cummie his fix. gay peo- I but ple for apparently scrutinizing us the entire night on Saturday., The can't help be intrigued by men tried to get away with pants Lakers for starting the season 3-0.. The Lions for finally winning another this trend which only recently Another meaning- for juicy is that described their backside as game,. The stupid Waterloo Review for not doing itself... Smuckers jam ejected from the fashion world's "full of interest; lively." If your "bootylicious" or "David Bowie- tor apparency being of superior quality to whatever Mel's Diner serves..., anus. Why are so many females, ass is so fascinating, do you real- quality." Everyone would think Cummie for licking the jam out of the packages at Mel's Diner because from five-year old girls to revolt- ly need to call more attention to this is creepy, but women are he was too hungry to wait to be served... Fun games that wind up giving ing Mrs. Robinsons, wearing it? This is exactly what women objectified by the opposite sex me free stuff the end.. Don't worry. like your shoes, Stefan.,, W.M. in I pants with sayings printed who wear statement-butt pants and by themselves so often that The Conl Weeklyis theofficial studentnewspaper olWilfridLaurier University. It is aneditorially inde- across the backside? are doing, and obviously that's few questioned statement-butt pendent newspaperpublishedby WilfridLaurier UniversityStudent Publications, Waterloo, a corpo- Typically, it is one word, usu- the intention. In the case of ration without share capital. WLUSPis governedby its board ofdirectors. pants on them. ally an adjective that offers words like "Laurier," this can be Personally, if these pants innuendo and an All letters to the editormust be signed and submitted with the author's name, student identification rather transparent act of subversion: it reclaims a won't go away, I'd at least like both cheeks. stan- number, and telephonenumber. Letters must bereceived bynoon Tuesdayon disk, or via e-mailat encompasses A sexually objectified part of a women to be honest about their [email protected] with the subjectheading of 'Cordletter'. Letters mustbe typed or easily legible dard variation is the name of a woman's body and prints a word asses. Maybe some song lyrics: and may not exceed350 wonts. The Cordreserves theright to editany letter torbrevityand clarity. group or institution that counts there that could normally be "big bottom," "baby got back," Spelling and grammarwill be corrected. The Cordreserves theright toreject any tetter, in whole or the person's backside as a mem- printed somewhere else on the "fat bottomed girls, you make the in part. ber, for example, "Laurier." pants. It makes the backside the rockin' world go round," or "ass- Why would a young lady want same as the leg, or any other part hole." The Cord reserves the right not topublishmaterial thatis deemedto be libelous or in contravention with the Cord's Code ofEthics or journalisticstandards. Opinionsexpressedare those ol theauthor and donotnecessarilyretted thoseof theEditorialBoard, The Cord, WLUSP, WLU or Hamilton WebPrinting. Cord Opinion: running with scissors since Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term tor addresses within Canada. The Cord is printedby 1926, run by a since 2003 Hamilton Web Printing and ispublishedevery Wednesday speed-freak Wednesday November 5.2003 Opinion 7 Shifty's Is anyone listening? During the last meeting, Hello?... Earth to the WLUSU: BOD, one of the Candidates for Ward Five City Council, Top could some of you guys start paying David Wellhauser, was giving 10 a speech to the BOD about his attention to what is going on? platform and about how his ...most notorious election would benefit stu- BOD only came into being dents. No doubt, Wellhauser's crimes perpetrated Chinese during the Feburary 2003 speech was monotone in MC elections. Up until that point, some areas, but lie cracked a by Puff Daddy I barely realized that the stu- few good jokes and provided dent body had an organiza- the BOD with some impor- Brian tion similar to the student tant information. council back in high school. I couldn't help notice the D'Souza Perhaps the most famous disinterest in many members piece of information that 1 of the BOD during the meet- had learned about the BOD ing. While I watched BOD For the first time in my three was that they had declared Vice-Chair Lindsey Jones years as a student at Laurier, themselves neutral during engage in one of the most I decided to attend one of the the WLU Staff Association prolific displays of hair Board Students' Union of strike. As Rush famously braiding & twirling that I Directors meeting's last sang*, "If you choose not to have ever seen, it suddenly Wednesday. These meetings decide, then yon still have occurred to me that this was- happen every Wednesday at made a choice." Without a n't exactly the sort of person 5:30 in the Boardroom locat- doubt, their inability to stand I wanted to see charged with ed in the 24-hour lounge. behind WLUSA helped pro- My knowledge about the the P. 1999: "Harrasses" record execu- long the strike. Continued on page 9 2001: adopts moniker existence and purpose of the Diddy, thereby embarrassing all tive Steve Staute, mocks legal other members of the human system by spending one day in species anger management counselling Letters to The Cord [email protected] Sweating over sweatshop absolutely deserves to lose all be our councilor in local gov- headlines respect that lie had for her, ernment. People with David's since I'm sure he knows her type of vision and action are I just wanted to let everyone well. And for that matter, I'm the type of politicians who know about: an oversight in sure he knows all of the are needed by our communi- the title of one of the sweat- Bacchus policies perfectly as ty at large. It is something shop articles in last week's well. that we need as a nation to issue of The Cord (October As to the question lead us into the future at all 29, 2003). The title of the "Whatever happened to the levels of governance. article was "Sweatshops Bacchus of yore that people being shut down," despite respected?," that supposed Byron Pascoe the fact that the content "best friend that's there for beneath it, written by their friend," since when 1999: covets America's finest 2000: a stolen gun is found in does a best friend let another Wellhauser rocks my following shooting Students Against international export from the Puff/s car a Sweatshops (SAS) treasurer act like a jackass by yelling Casbah world market, hoarding all the at a New York Club... on the plus Thomas Thompson, had at volunteers, pushing them best booty for fifteen minutes side, J-Lo dumped him for it nothing to do with shutting and mistreating them, sim- I am writing to advocate on sweatshops down. ply because he or she is too behalf of David Wellhauser Though the misleading drunk to act like someone for City Council of Ward 5. I title was an innocent error with the mental capacity of a have known David for about by the editor of the article, it university student? A best five years, which makes me suggests that the objective of friend is there to be the voice among a huge majority that SAS is to close factories. As of reason, to tell their drunk- have had the privilege of SAS president I would just en friend/roommate/partner meeting him. The rest have like to clarify that our group to sit down and be quiet. either witnessed or heard of does not encourage the clos- To ALL members of David Wellliauser's big heart ing of factories: we pressure Bacchus, congratulations on in action in any number of companies to take responsi- choosing to stay members of local causes. He has always bility for the workers mak- a great team despite all that been attentive to the needs of ing their products and you have had to put up with the community, and looking improve factory conditions. already this year. I commend at David's web site As member of (www. wellhauser. ea), I am 1997: Releases "I'll be Missing 1991: Combs' Students Against you. a shoddy organiza- Laurier's community I am not surprised to see that he You," simultaneously butchering tional skills are blamed for nine Sweatshops is designed to offer support to the workers very glad to know that when is still tirelessly working at a Police classic and making Sting people being trampled to death students go out to an event meeting" everyone and hear- again. in abusive sweatshop condi- look cool at a basketball game he planned tions and to fight for their where Bacchus. Foot and ing their concerns. A glance rights while also respecting ERT are present, they will be at his biography section their need for income. respected, treated fairly, and amazes me with his tireless will be safe. vigilance and care. David has Josalyn Wiebe To those who choose to always been a supporter of President insult people who are VOL- important local issues and Laurier Students Against UNTEERING to the best of gave a voice to those who Sweatshops their abilities, take the advice could not be heard. His plat- of the volunteers and do the form is realistic, honest and rest of the Laurier communi- accountable. On November Best friends are not ty a favour when they tell 10th make a difference, vote always nice you to "sit down and face the DAVID WELLHAUSER! front" and shut up. This letter is written in Kristina Konc 1997: response to Dave Howdens Amy Mallett Unleashes the cultural 2003: Puffy denies knowledge 3rd year English virus Mase; death becomes a that made letter last week ("You're SeanJohn clothes are Bacchus volunteers, not Even in Germany, sensible option and people stop in sweatshops. Did he notice the bouncers," The Cord Weekly. Wellhauser is bitchin' breathing until Mase goes away word "Honduras" on the label? October 29, 2003). which Wellhauser is swell- criticized certain Bacchus hauser Recently I learned that David members. I'm sure Mr. Wellhauser is running' for Howden's efforts to yell at While walking the halls two City Council in Waterloo's others on the bus so as to years ago as a second-year uptown Ward 5. That's won- "help" the volunteers were student. I often noticed a derful! I live in Germany, but incredibly helpful, and I'm familiar character with fire- I know David Wellhauser also sure he was absolutely like orange hair and a reflec- from my time in Canada sober and in no way adding- tive vest to match. As when I was an exchange stu- to the confusion that was WLUSU VP of University dent at the University of facing all those who were 011 Affairs, David Wellhauser Waterloo (Fall 2002, Winter the bus. But there comes a would continually go beyond 2003). He was my roommate time when the rationality of his call of duty in the name for nearly one year, and dur- the volunteers has to take of accountable and respon- ing- that time I got to know precedence. sive student representation. him as a person who strong- Although I have never He stood for real values ly believes in democracy, been a member of Bacchus, such as trust, transparency, community and environmen- ERT. or Foot Patrol. I'm sure responsibility and the truth. tal protection. He's a reliable they have all gone through At the end of the day, and fair person with a training - which teaches them Wellhauser would take the strong* personality, and I g*ot how to deal with situations will of our student body and to know him as a person who involving drunken fools who ensure that we had a strong- is highly motivated to make voice in our community. For Waterloo an even better place 1998: The witch have no respect for volun- doctor goes and 1969-he does us all a favour and teers or those around them, example, he worked hard for than it is today. I strongly hypnotizes Jimmy Page, breeds goes away: Puff Daddy contin- students concerned with support his candidacy for Led But maybe Mr. Howden is Zeppelin's masterpiece ues to be the stain on right. I'm sure the Bacchus growth on our campus. City Council. Kashmir" with his own lacklus- humankind's existence with his volunteer who got shoved David Wellhauser is a tre hip-hop, and creates the bas- marketable brand of laziness, really deserved it and she leader. He is also running to Claudia Muller tard product "Come With Me," theft, violence, exploitation, which is officially the worst sons ignorance, and sheer stupidi- of all time ty...hence the mohawk We need help. Please send letters, [email protected] 8 Opinion Wednesday November 5,20 m Making a monkey of our concepts Did mankind evolve from apes, or is of the works included help- dox should be clear - cre- the whole species fully announced their opposi- ationists maintain the truth tion to evolutionary theories of the Biblical account in the descended from Adam and Eve? Either way, it's wierd in their title. They may have face of the scientific chal- looked like journals, but they lenge, but to do so they rely spending a lot of time with convinced me that I was seemed more like goal-orient- on the scientific mode. With This is last summer was the sort of incorrect. I was surprised ed team efforts. readings that deny metaphor bizarre... person to relish such debates. and a bit ashamed of how In the end, I grappled and symbol, and with writ- For a while, I just didn't bite shallow my own pool of with him over his own inter- ings that ape academic jour- - I knew exactly how little I knowledge on the topic was. pretative contradictions. The nals. God is presented as the expected to gain from such a absolutely literal interpreta- proven hypothesis. But in Dillon tion the Bible he discussion. But there is a was of advocated this way, creationists deny Moore limit to how many times I can ...it something (ignoring, for the moment, faith and invert the very listen to someone say things of a revelation to the dragon/dinosaur excep- order they would seem to like "the dragons of the Bible tion) found many of its endorse. Of all the unlikely phrases are in fact, dinosaurs," before find that someone I adherents in Darwin's own I can't say I won over my that exist on a university having to respond, and last considered batshit- century, when scientific cer- opponent with these argu- campus, one of the most summer that limit was easily tainty was all the rage. Social ments, and he didn't make unlikely lias to be "I had the readied. crazy could also be science, anthropology, cer- much headway with me. Still, pleasure of debating* with a Like many others, my last a pretty likeable tain schools of history and being- called out on assump- Creationist recently." Aside experience with the concepts English that sought scientif- tions made me realise the from the odd pugnacious of evolution in a specific guy- ic interpretation and under- sliakiness of some of my Evolutionist, most would be sense was back in high standing-; all emerged in the beliefs. More personally, it more likely to describe their school biology. I brought out in lieu of scientific knowl- wake of increasing interest was something of a revela- in experience terms like, all the big guns I could edge, the old Arts degree in the 19th Century scientific tion to find that someone I "some batshit-crazy God- remember, but not surpris- instincts began to kick in. I method - along with ques- considered batsb it-crazy tried corner hotherer to me ingly he had a response to pointed, out to him that the tions about the historicity of could also be a pretty likeable into a useless argument the therm all: the fossil record journals lie g*oi his argu- the Bible, guy. He was planning on other day." (response: "carbon-14 datitig- ments from had bibliogra- The response to this con- attending* a theological col- It was with some measure is wrong), vestigial organs phies with a suspicious circu- tinued through the 20th lege, I sincerely hope he finds of shock when I realized that ("they are absolutely neces- larity, The same names Century, arid was there in the someone there to give him a the friendly, bright individ- sary; prove Fin wrong""). occurred again and again in discourse of my debating lively debate. ual who I was going to be While none of his arguments different citations, and most opponent. Trie inherent para- PRIMATES You damned ARE Hollywood EVOLVING AT dirty apes A STARTLING apocalypse RATE. SOON A spokesperson for the credit, were Pen & Ink people shocked Who are the next Indian Ministry of Defense THEY'LL BE and repulsed by the amount said that government offi- Soapbox of" bloodshed in Saving 'evildoers'? Iran? cials working late have to be Private Ryan, Still. I have a "careful when its dark". MAKING news flash: GUNS KILL PEO- North Korea? No, Most frightening- of all, it PLE!!! Guns kill people and appears the monkeys are WAR ON Brittany they die tortuously, violently, it's the primates highly organized, intelligent, Lavery and graphically. Why are we and will stop at nothing* to ANYONE surprised by this? And. much accomplish their goal. more disturbingly, why are If Showing* their fearlessness, there's one thing- that I we entertained by it? I do not WHO HAS AN hate, Extra-value the monkeys have been truly from the tips of pay money to watch men, breaking- into government my sneakers to the depths of women, or children shriek j spiel soul, offices late at night and OPPOSABLE my its Hollywood war and groan in agony. I do not searching through files. The movies. Hate, loathe, despise, pay money to see this happen monkeys were smart enough THUMB... abominate, detest—go check and have some nauseatingly need Brendan not to take any files so no one Roget's if you further nationalistic Yanks justify it caught on to what they were elaboration. In the end, it all as patriotism, state defense, Jones AND THAT amounts to the looking for. Like al Qaeda, same thing: it or other such U.S. adminis- the monkeys fully under- MEANS YOU! is simply disgusting that the trative propaganda. Ladies and gentleman. I have stand the power of propagan- practice of creating' such American morality is not uni- all. some profound and frighten- da. Last year when Donald films exists at versal morality. If it were, the ing- news: a sinister clandes- Rumsfeld gave a press con- I'll present a scenario that human race would be extinct sure we can all tine network has declared ference from New Delhi, in I'm relate to: by now. war on our way of life. hatred of the US led 'War on it's Friday night, you're sick Members of this group are in Terror' the monkeys took to of bleeding- your lifeblood It is immoral to this country illegally. In the window ledges and began into your term paper, ready many cases, Canadian citi- shrieking at the top of their to retch at the sight of your ignore the carnage zens are aiding', abetting, or lungs for reporters. This also course reader or the next that is the past, harboring them from the law. shows that the monkeys are pompous ass in your history Thankfully, we've kept many able to organize large-scale text, and generally needing a present, and with their behind, break with friends. of members bars operations for precisely your are for years. The public is still timed events, another eerie Which would you choose— the way things put at risk daily, however, as similarity to al Qeada. hanging" out at Williams for going, the future of these are minimum-security Most importantly, since coffee or beer to take your institutions in virtually every the monkeys speak some mind off of things, or spend- humanity. urban centre. It is our duty indigenous dialect unknown ing' the night in a darkened as Canadians, and as human to humans we cannot deci- room watching white guys beings no less, to take a stand pher who their leader is, or blow other ethnic groups to What is most frightening against this evil entity. what they're after from the bloody shreds? In this pocket about this issue is that They wont tell you about monkey agents we currently of time, I dare not even ask. Hollywood is selling us blood this on CNN or on the have behind bars in zoos. Some may argue, and for money. We're meant to evening- news, but perhaps Since they are rifling rightly so, that it is immoral walk out saying, "Wow, what that's because the govern- through government docu- to ignore the carnage that is a great flick! That was ment is in cahoots with the ments, only two assumptions the past, present, and, with incredible cinematography! the leaders of this worldwide can be made: either they are way things are going, the You think it'll be up for an peril. However, in this day trying to figure out the loca- future of humanity. While it Oscar?" No matter how much and age where nothing goes tions where we have their is very true that one cannot the slaughter affects us at unreported, I have come to buddies stashed or they are turn a blind eye to the hor- the time, well forget by the see the truth and at this time trying to discover the weak- rors surrounding us, I tend next day, and earn back the would like to warn all of you nesses of our human mili- to be a little skeptical towards ten bucks we were ripped off. that monkeys are planning to taries. Either way, they will Hollywood's method of "edu- Even more sickening is the eliminate the human race. eventually be attacking cation". Do you really think fact that we pay willingly. According to Associated North America. that a teenager, or anyone for Never mind the conclusion Press reports, the threat Right now we have the that matter, goes to the movie where the white guys always appears to be emanating advantage, as the lack of theatre on a Friday night to win, and it's never their battle from New Delhi. At first, opposable thumbs within receive an education? No! in the first place. Forget when they were just picking- their organization probably That's what the rest of the about the barbaric, uncul- pockets and stealing lunch prevents them from making week is for! We go the tured, and expendable por- pails in the capital of India, it bombs and the vast amounts movies, my friends, to be trayal of the "enemy" (who in appeared it was only some of their operatives we have in entertained. fact lias done us no wrong). primate Mafioso. But perhaps zoos gives us huge leverage Personally I fail to see The heart of the issue is that if is a the Banana Family crime tensions ever reach a violent what entertaining about war is not glorious and can syndicates are actually some- standoff. But we cannot let bunch of cocky, arrogant, never be made so. not even by the thing much worse. Recently, this upper hand lull us into male Americans firing* the most talented and revo.lt- the monkeys have been passivity; we have to act now latest of technological ingiy patriotic of American employing terrorist tactics before it is too late. After all, weapons at screaming, scur- directors. rying, Natives and are attacking govern- we won't be able to deter the defenseless (of Africa ment infrastructure. They monkeys any longer after some poor territory of deemed irrelevant by have been bringing down Charlton Heston dies: there or Asia, director). War power lines and banging on will be nobody left to save us. the American government office windows. is not entertainment. To their Wednesday November 5,2003 Opinion 9 America the dutiful At least listen to Guest columnist Kris Cote examines how brainwashed the others snore the North American public is by major media groups. Did Continuedfrom page 7 take care of my vast collec- tion of banana stickers, let you notice Cote is an International writer? any responsibility. alone the concerns of the To be fair, it seems harsh- WLU student body. Making while it brought up the issue felt she would vote in the ly prejudicial to base all my informed choices and form- Guest of the false evidence used to next election. She concluded assumptions of Jones' or any ing educated opinions hinges justify the invasion, it did not that she should "support our other BOD member's compe- on an individual's capacity to Columnist examine its own evidence to troops" by voting* for Bush in tency on such a small facet of listen and absorb knowledge. determine if it was false as the 2004 election. Cooper their behaviour. However, a The behaviour of the BOD well. To date, we still do not cannot find a job, struggles friend of mine. Sherry is irresponsible and if Kris know why the invasion to feed and clothe her family McKever brought tip the WLUSXJ is going to do more occurred, and the media is and feels that people in her same observations of the ilxan extend O-week by five Cote happy to repeat the vague situation iiave been forgotten BOD, "when I attended a BOD days or increase O-Week's remarks uttered by the but is still inclined to give the meeting',..some were eating budget to $1.5 million dol- dinner, and others lars, then we will need to see Before the invasion of Iraq, a President. current President her vote. appeared Last week the media, When Bush was handed to be sleeping," a more caring, attentive atti- New York Times poll showed The fact tude frota the members of that the majority of focused on the growth rate of the election in 2000, many remains that I the future, Americans believed Saddam US industries citing' it as an people were left believing' wouldn't let someone with WLUSII in short attention Hussein was directly example of Bush's leadership that it did not matter what such span involved in the 9/11 attacks. and commitment to the they did and that they can't This single poll illustrates American economy. What make a difference in.the way the power of the media to this covers up is the growing their country is run. The control and shape the opin- American poverty crisis, a media very rarely reports on ions of the masses. crisis that saw 1.7 million the successes of individuals Today, the issue of choice Americans lose their jobs in or grassroots groups who are is the 'occupation' of Iraq. fighting for change and that The American government They believe what leaves many feeling small continues to criticize the and powerless. But there are media for focusing on the they are told is individuals who make negative aspects and failing* true changes; the often cited to illustrate the positive ones. and fail to Ghandi is the best known example. And in a perceived act of defi- realize that there ESL Teacher Training Courses ESL Teacher Training Courses These kinds of stories are " ance against the government, * Intols,ve are Intensive 50-hour TESL courses 50-hour TESL courses motives behind not reported in * the the media » Class! media continues to focus Classroom management techniques oom management techniques however, so the ,l on issues like the mounting the stories. majority of « Detailed lesson planning lesson planning US death toll people know of no alterna- 8 SkMs pronun- and shoddy ■ Skills development: grammar, proinm- development: grammar, tives. Instead, they nation, intelligence. For many con- believe ciation, speaking, reading and writing speaking, reading and writing on what they are told is true « m Comprehensive sumers of media stories and Comprehensive teaching materials teaching materials * fail realize ® practicum government-targeted defi- to that there are Teaching praeticum included teaching included the last m ot ance it leaves the impression year alone. That motives behind the stories ■ Listings of schools, agencies, listings schools, agencies, and brings the total number of and that the audience is receiving that they are being told. recruiters from around the world recruiters from around the world unemployed to 84.6 million There For ,nfo a balanced coverage of the are alternatives: the For More Info Contact Oxford Seminars: More Contact Oxford Seminars: or occupation. roughly the entire popula- internet has made the spread (-800-269-6719 /416-924-3240 Yet this impression is tion of Canada. This does not of dissident literature wide- false and worse, this false include the working poor - spread and easily accessible. impression is used by those those who work yet still can- To see what you have been who control the media to dis- not provide for their families. missing;. check ont tract attention away from There are another 31 million alternet.org, indymedia.org, other issues. When the Times Americans in this category. guardian , c o , uk . While outside ISBfflgTl poll was released the invasion standing of toisapaine.com or axisol'jus- Super was all but finalized and a food bank. The Guardian tice.org. asked Angela Cooper how she Hour Eye Exam Arranged It's Your City. It's Your Voice. Please Vote. Space is filling up fast W- l^Bob BOOK now! I Byron S g IK for Ward 4 Councilfor Experienced Leadership Wilfrid Laurier University HfßHiFi «■ Hi IKAVELCUId Fred Nichols Campus Centre, 3rd Floor See the world your way 886-8228 apply. *Some conditions Contact us for more details. Travel CUTS is owned & operated by the Canadian Federation of Students. 10 Opinion Wednesday November 5.2nm Voting in municipal elections rocks way more episodes of Beverly chance to participate in an than three people, you live in And what is Hill 90210). Honestly incredible extremely Opinion- decision making- a lodging house. This house frustrating is that our spend- though, I would like City process - these people drive needs to be licensed in order ing- power is Editorial to at massive. Every Hall look its student the direction of the city you for you to legally live there. time you purchase some- population as part of its gen- live in, and believe it or not, Morty Taylor's motion would thing you can multiply eral not that population, and as your three, four, five or six immediately freeze the licens- spending- power by 30,000 Meighan transient, temporary stu- (?) years here should make ing of lodging- house licens- people. Graduates have start- Doherty dents. you realize that you have a es. Where would the students ed businesses in the area, One way to make that sen- vested interest in what goes who didn't have a place to live employing citizens. Many timent realized is to vote on on. Most importantly, you stay? Morty has since said people move to the area per- I'm trying- to get people to Monday. November 10 in the should be able to know where that he brought this motion to vote manently live and start a in the upcoming- munici- municipal election. these councilors are coming forward because "we need to family. All these community pal election and the reasons In the US. there is this from when they make the take stock of where we are benefits and we cannot even are purely selfish. No longer image of mobilized youth decisions. And let me be very following an unprecedented compel our own councillor to do 1 want City Hall and coun- beating down the doors to clear here when I say that student housing construc- act, in my opinion, in our cilors to look at me and roll participate in democracy. they are not always thinking- tion boom." Regardless, if the own best interests? ■their eyes, just as one candi- Locally, we are bombarded about students when they motion passed, in the end Something' is not right. date did when I announced with images of students beat- make these decisions. students would be greatly So let's make it right. You that students would be voting ing down orange fences at Take, for example, when a affected. I'm not speaking out have nothing- to lose, except in the upcoming election, Pikecoming or rushing to get certain Morty Taylor (yes, against Morty Taylor (whose maybe the shred of respect I don't want them to think into the Turret on Halloween. you buy his wings and beer ward has a large student pop- we may somewhere hold at that all I do, as a student, is I guess elections aren't at Morty's) made a motion for ulation) as a candidate, I just City Hall. drink, although sometimes I sexy. They don't offer too a moratorium on lodging wish to have a candidate who wish it was true (okay, not much in the way of rewards. houses last October. In plain sees us as citizens living in really, I'd also like to watch Still, elections offer you a words: if you live with more the community. : I i6^iM*4 j» H:iN|jftT»i I\l mm! 'j~ J"* and experience Turret Thursdays if 5 and recieve a ballot to win W'fMfy FREE RENT! j I 112 B Contest open to WLU Students only. Prize valued at up to $400.00. One Ballot per 4IX % • , T customer. You must be present to receive your prize. A Cancelled cheque or proof of 4\ *112 111T \ \.; 'jr your rent costs must be provided to receive your prize. Employees of WLUSU are " L ~^r _1 eligible to win:their ballot must in initialed bv a Manager at the time of entry to be valid. | Sign up for Grad Photos today at - | www.Clublaurier.ca Photos will be taken during the month of November I (January is reservedfor co-op students) For the $35 sit fee you get: I -10poses & proofs I - class composite I - complimentary yearbook I For more information contact: I Lifetouch Photography at 744-1146 or I Laura Jardine, WLUSP President at- 884-0710 ext. 3565 I C^i^riaurierni|l^jkjtU,l i/$. wIuMV ' I n"i-> 12 International Wednesday November 5.2fm Contributed Photo A Palestinian man launches rocks at an Israeli tank patrolling through the Palestinian West Bank territory. Violence has spiked as a result of Middle East occupations 'A tragic day for America' Iraq violence leads to the highest US death toll since March 23rd; 18 killed, 21 wounded ALEKSANDRA ANDAN upwards of 33 attacks a day nonetheless likely to win". also criticized the adminis- one is. But they're necessary. Cord International on American troops have Also, White House tration but few others pro- They're part of a war that's dwindled the public's confi- spokesman Trent Duffy com- posed withdrawal. However, difficult and complicated." Despite the end of the major dence despite the administra- mented on America's NATO commander Wesley The escalating violence hostilities in the war on Iraq, tion's predictions for future "unshakeable will." President Clark has stated that has caused many to compare the death toll of American Bush did not comment specif- the situation to Vietnam. soldiers has been climbing, "In a long, hard ically on Sunday's attack in One can only hope America seems to be losing causing' the American public his Monday speech about the its military foothold and pub- to seriously question this war, we're going to economy but did reaffirm the that there will be a lic support as was the case in war. Thirty-one Americans have tragic days, as idea that America will not Vietnam. President Bush, have been killed in the last 10 run from the war. rapid realization by however, has shown no sign days alone. this is but they're A recent Washington Post- both sides that, in of faltering in his committ- On Sunday November 2nd ABC survey showed that the ment in the occupation of a CH-47 Chinook helicopter necessary." American public's disap- human terms, this Iraq and is giving reason for was hit by "an unknown proval of the handling' of Iraq war is unwinnable. many to ask if the growing weapon", killing' 16 soldiers -Donald Rumsfeld, US by the Bush administration human price on both sides is and wounding- 20, near the Defense Secretary has risen to 51%. In justified. town of Falluja. This is the (Hours later 16 US troops Congress, Ohio representa- America was "misled into In remembering how long single worst day of military tive Dennis Kucinich who this conflict without a real it took the administration to attack) casualties since March 23rd died in a missle originally voted against the strategy for success." give up on Vietnam and the when 29 soldiers were killed resolution approving the On ABC's "This Week", war's tragic outcome, one can in combat. This latest attack war, has now called for a Defense Secretary Donald only hope that there will be a has also increased the num- success. Michael O'Hanlon, a withdrawal. He believes the Rumsfeld referred to more rapid realization by ber of US casualties to 203 military analyst at the troops should be brought Sunday's attack as simply both sides that in human since the end of major combat Brookings Institution, home before the death toll being a price of war. "In a terms, this is an unwinnable on May Ist. recently told a congressional escalates further. long, hard war, we're going war. Increased bloodshed and committee that "we are Many other congressmen to have tragic days, as this is U.S. detains activists KRIS COTE the decision to prosecute The mahogany trade is run Staff Writer Greenpeace is "disturbing by large crime cartels which and poses a threat to free bribe, extort, enslave and When the American Patriots speech." He also notes that murder to export this valu- disposed of British Tea in the "if this prosecution succeeds, able wood. Boston Harbour in 1773, the non-violent protest may Mass arrests are not any- British government punished become yet another casualty thing new to Greenpeace. In the colonists. Throughout of John Ashcroft's attack on fact, they rely on the media American history, acts of civil liberties." coverage that this type of brave defiance have been Ashcroft is citing a 19th event usually brings them to honoured and revered and a century law that prohibits help spread their message. If striking parallel still exists illegal boarding of ships, successful, Greenpeace will today. although the law's original be forced to pay punitive In April of 2002, two intent was to prevent board- fines every time an illegal act Greenpeace Activists fol- ing house owners from leap- occurs in its name, say legal lowed by journalists, boarded ing onto docking ships in experts. They also agree that a ship off the coast of Miami order to gain clients. it would set a dangerous and unveiled a banner read- Since the September 11th precedent for anyone ing "President Bush: Stop attacks, the Bush administra- involved in peaceful protests. Illegal Logging". They were tion has pushed a specific The ability to protest is arrested, along with twelve image of 'patriotism' and has usually portrayed as a hall- other Greenpeace members been widely accused of muf- mark of any democratic sys- who were at the scene and fling dissent. Ari Fleischer, tem and likewise its censor- spent the weekend in jail. the former White House ship is readily associated John Ashcroft, the US spokesman, told Americans with dictatorships. The scene Attorney General, took the that "they had better watch of the 1989 protests at unprecedented move of pros- what they say," Tiananmen Square is contin- ecuting all of Greenpeace in According to Greenpeace ually highlighted by media Contributed Photo federal court. This has activists the ship that was sources as an example of a A Home Depot logo spray-painted on a freshly cut section of shocked dissidents every- boarded a year ago was car- corrupt government quash- Brazilian forest is just one of GreenPeace's protest methods where since the entire organ- rying illegal mahogany from ing civil demonstrations. ization of Greenpeace is being the Brazilian rainforest. The Like the American patri- government of the past, the The Tea Party did for the tried, not just the two actions were part of a broad- ots of the past, Greenpeace American government is patriots? As Thomas who boarded the er on the activists campaign part of activists took a peaceful mes- striking- back with a heavy Jefferson or > said, "A little ship. Greenpeace to "end environ- sage to their government, handed blow. The only ques- revolution, now and then, is a John Passacantando, the mental destruction and namely that they do not tion remains: will this event healthy thin It is as natural executive director of human rights abuses in approve of their actions. help set off a revolution as as lightnin; Greenpeace USA, stated that Brazil's Amazon rainforest." Much like the British colonial Wednesday November 5.2003 International 13 P. Diddy and his kiddies Rap 'Star' P. Diddy's new line of sweatshop clothing will be brushed under the public's radar, business as usual? appeared. diaries Kernaghan, Guest This is also the strategy Executive Director of the Sean Combs is planning to National Labour Committee, Columnist use. He's already made state- recognizes this danger. In a ments of denial but at the letter to Mr. Combs' clothing- same time set up the ability company lie stated that the Anthony to 'cut and rim*. In a press workers and his organization Piscitelli conference, Combs stated if do not want to see production sweatshop conditions are pulled from the factory. confirmed his company "will Instead, he would like to see This week Sean 'Puffy Puff terminate [its] relationship an effort made to "clean up Daddy P. Diddy' Combs joined with this factory immediate- the plant and to guarantee the likes of Kathy Lee ly." that the rights of the workers Clifford, Wal-Mart, the GAP. are fully respected." Later in Mike and a host of others in the letter Kernaghan added being- accused of using" sweat- Most companies that the factory can "quick- shop labour to produce cloth accused of ly... be on its way to become a ing\ This time the charges model plant." came from the National supporting Despite claims by Mr. Labour Committee and a 19- sweatshops wil! "cut Combs that he is "as pro- year-old factory worker worker as they get" he has no named Lydda Gonzalez. and run" which intention of acting on these Like all sweatshop accusa- makes the public recommendations. Instead tions the first course of Mi*. Combs intends to protect action by the accused was to believe the problem his own interest by canceling deny all wrongdoing. This is, has disappeared the contract. of course, good public rela- The sad thing about this is tions. In a best case scenario, Mr. Combs could show some denial may work to make the This is great public rela- real leadership in this situa- whole issue disappear. At tions for Mr. Combs. But tion. If he simply stood up to worst what denying does is when this public relations the supplier and said he casts doubt in the eyes of the strategy is thought out, one would withhold payment Contributed Photo general public. realizes that canceling the until working conditions George W. Bush fights his own personal war on drugs too Once denial takes place contract will likely lead to the improved. things would the onus is on the victims of factory being- closed. In the change quickly. sweatshop abuse to prove eyes of the public this will Instead we get one more they are being exploited. If likely solve the sweatshop star that is attempting to this takes place then the problem. Unfortunately, from hide from the negative spot- accused will cancel the con- a worker's perspective, the light. However, is Mmm blow... this ease tract with the sweatshop. worst thing that can happen not a victimless one. Instead This is called a 'cut and run" to a sweatshop is for it to be the real losers are girls like strategy and it works by closed. Once this happens Lydda Gonzalez, girls who Stop wasting money fighting a war making the public believe the workers lose jobs and their say they just want "to have a sweatshop problem has dis- only means of support. dignified life." on drugs abroad, the problem is here tole for the crack outbreak of Guest the 1980s that allowed the Desensitizing torture government to declare a "war- Columnist on drugs." main characters was put on is morally wrong when it What I propose is by no Guest trial for the death of a sus- could save them from anoth- means a difficult approach to Columnist pected terrorist at the infa- er day of planes slamming Ben dealing- with the western mous Camp X-Ray in into office buildings. But Puzanov hemisphere's drug- problems, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. shouldn't there be a mini- but it is a path that the Our valiant heroes, loyal mum standard? If we can't American government will Michael to their country, pushed an agree that we should never I will give credit where credit never take because it is afraid Borrelli interrogation too far, result- torture people, then at the is due: hooray for the US-led of change, public disapproval ing' in the stress-induced very least we should agree international drug alliance and, most importantly, a loss heart attack of a suspected that torture shouldn't be the that confiscated USDS3O mil- of revenue that they make Those are the words uttered terrorist. The episode was standard method of interro- lion of cocaine off the coast of from the industry. one too many times on my dedicated to the simple legit- gation. Colombia over the weekend. The real 'war on drugs' new most-hated-television imization of torture-lite Not that I'm naive enough But let's get serious, it is needs to start in the court- show, "Threat Matrix". The methods used by American to think that the US Empire going to take a lot more than rooms. Hundreds of thou- show, about a bunch of US interrogators on suspected would ever consider eliminat- Captain America and his sands of dollars are wasted government counter-terror- terrorists, ranging- from ing' torture as its unofficial minions to make a serious annually on legal resources ist agents is just one of the sleep deprivation to being- method of interrogation but dent in the war on drugs. The used to try teens who get many 9-11 inspired shows shackled in painful positions I'm very worried about the problem has to be addressed caught in the park with a that are supposed to make for hours on end. But that's way that torture has been from within; the level of cor- 'whacky cigarette' and you hide under your desk for nothing when compared with legitimized in our culture. ruption within the United receive a significant blemish fear of end. the things some shows will We've come to accept it States is baffling. on their criminal records. Along with my personal justify. when people like Donald You may remember Rafael According to the favourite, 24, these shows In episodes from last Rumsfeld admit to the use of Perez, an LAPD officer who Substance Abuse and Mental reflect the paranoia filling year's season of 24, there "Stress and Duress" tech- was arrested in 1998 for Health Services Americans that a second were at least a half-dozen niques (doublespeak for tor- stealing eight pounds of Administration, over 11 mil- September 11th could occur separate scenes of torture, ture). It doesn't shock us cocaine from an evidence lion. Americans smoke reefer at any time. Luckily, TV-land including electrocutions, anymore, and it should. I room. The investigation that on a regular basis and are has helped them with this surgical incisions with highly doubt that those citi- ensued revealed a ring of responsible for a 'war' that fear by creating a bunch of scalpels, beating's, and pris- zens that, silently condone crooked cops, countless inno- costs the government super heroes whose jobs are oners being' forced to watch torture would be able to sit in cents murdered and evoked a USDSI.4 billion each year. to stop the dreaded terrorists their families being- mur- the rooms with the detainees, huge public outcry in the city at every turn. dered. All of these methods shackled, hooded, held in of Los Angeles. Along with a cursory were very quickly justified inhumane conditions and in The hypocrisy of the The $1.4 billion examination of the subject of by the 'good guys' as par for painful positions for hours at Western world is appalling: should be used to terror (I guess it's considered the course when dealing with a time. in 1983 the FBI caught dem- 'deep* when a character men- 'barbaric' terrorist elements, Civilized people should ocratic nominee-hopeful A 1 address serious tions glibly "One man's ter- and no further thought is never be desensitized to it, Sharp ton discussing laun- issues like poverty, rorist is another man's free- dedicated to the notion that but day after day it's becom- dering cocaine money with dom fighter") and the contin- violating fundamental ing clearer that we're trading Michael Franzese, a former homelessness and uing perpetuation of the human rights might be just our humanity for paranoia mobster who was acting as a child abuse. myth that America is hated as barbaric. and a false sense of security. drug dealer in order to by almost exclusively Middle- I'd like to say the issue is At the very least though, if reduce his sentence. How can Eastern foes, these shows black and white, and that one the 'powers that be' are going this man, a reverend, show This is money that could have opened up a very shal- should never use torture or to get me scared enough that his face in public after doing be used to address serious low discourse in popular cul- the threat of torture in any I'm going to lock myself in something like that? Shame issues like poverty, homeless- ture not only about terror but situation, but it's hard to con- my house until the bad-men on you America for allowing ness, and child abuse; unfor- the ways in which America vince North Americans that go away, they should put this delinquent a run at tunately, North America fights terror. harming suspected terrorists something* worthwhile to office. ships its needy population Specifically, the theme of The United States military out of the urban centers so whether the ends justify the allegedly occupies thousands that our coke-infested cities means has been broached by of acres of cocaine farms in can look presentable to visi- both these shows, albeit in a Colombia. Now please explain tors. way that makes me fear for to me why the world's only I am sorry, but I couldn't the souls of the show's pro- superpower does not just care less about a drug seizure ducers and the viewers that destroy these crops and be on in South America that is might nod along in affirma- its way? Could it be that there to tion designed gain the voting' with the conclusions is a bigger picture and public's support and does that are reached. America is not just So wasting absolutely nothing- to solve where is the line? How millions of dollars on keep- real that lar the problems afflict can you go before you ing its base there opera- our society each and every nave become your own worst tional? This would not sur- day. enemy? The other night on prise me as the CIA has been Threat Matrix", one of the suspected of being responsi- Contributed Photo 14 International Wednesday November 5.2003 Cementing all of our problems Building our walls and locking our doors will only leave our problems to fester quietly will snake a borderline irrational fear and an even thrcaig'h considerable more irrational response. International amounts of Palestinian terri- Yet another wall for yet I Editor tory. It will divide families, another fabricated fear. We communities and cultures. It never have to look as far as is a wall devised and built Indonesia or Israel for these upon pain and supported by walls. Canada's walls may not Bryn fear and hatred. have the tangible, graffiti- Boyce When I used to walk up marred concrete of its over- my lane late at night I was seas counterparts but. they always secretly afraid that a retain similar roots and I don't lock doors. I never fox was going spring out have. As a kid. I was often rigidity. from the underbrush and Even without the concrete lock nagged for forgetting to drag me in. It was just a lines that divide, borders the car door in town or leav- childish fear created by a boy between wealth and poverty ing the house unlocked after growing up in his world of can be geographically I lived in the pin- leaving. middle false fears. Of course there while on3to of the forest for God's sake. pointed walking were no bears, poisonous Ontario Native reserves like was to What need there lock snakes or wolves near my Sau geen Shores or Cape the door, Mom? I still think house so my fears ended up Croker. it's ridiculous and I still leave manifesting themselves in Canada's slip down the doors out of unlocked spite. this shifty red fox instead. UN's Human Development The world is full of walls. Indonesian Colonel Index is more a reflection of to in and Walls keep people Moesanip has a similar red the world coming to grips walls to out. keep people fox fear. He fears East Timor, with our neglect than it is result of the Walls built as the newest nation in the any new major slip in our last a gasp of failed coopera- world and he went public treatment of Natives. A fairly tion and trust or a malicious about it. He fears the resounding protest when divide and attempt to segre- refugees that seek to enter directed at a self-absorbed, gate. In Mom's case it was the Indonesia and he has recent- holier-than-thou I think she country former. might ly recommended that the gov- such as Canada. have secretly feared that ernment consider a security Putting up walls may someone was going to creep wall for the "out of sight comfort us but it gives our lane and into our up areas" on their shared strength to the imagined house at night. Eastern border. fears that haunt us. It's a I hardly think Ariel I ran up my lane each and divisive way to look at the into the Sharon would fall every time these red fox wor- world and believing that same category as my mom, ries consumed my thoughts. walls and locks, whether he would like- despite the fact I ran and I shut the door with physical or metaphorical, ly be apt to argue otherwise. such force that the wall rat- will actually better our situa- The soon to be completed 403 tled and the old clock let out tions only keeps the world at mile long security wall with a reverberating chime. I shut odds. Do everyone a favour, Contributed Photo its solid interlocking eight- it hard because it felt good, it leave your doors concrete unlocked. metre high slabs of felt safe. It was an These children had their world divided for them in Berlin #tjS% Jj , I? :: R% w §rM§m lm *mt#&' _ ; * ••?* B»J'' .|: ; •# «*■?**» ; |&«t»ii ■ ■ « 0 ■ ■ I I 1 a r a W 1 iT F * ■ *W T f fl ■ 1 H ■ ft ■ ftj I ■ | w ai k | j j *aW l If you need help with the I the BiBWISBOsRS I and tf*kliBJiki*l>MJiETi I ...then call ext. #3637 I or send an e-mail to [email protected]. I the Ombuds Office and make an I appointment to see I wWki Dennis Wiilfang, n I Laurier's Ombudsperson. |l Wednesday November 5.2003 International 15 to V Simply Tlx*, Best |jg|2§ gTjf Windows *. * ji [J lI yj ji jjj y uj ij! S the World Call til Valid only at "1111 (519) OZ I f I I f 150 University Ave. (Philip Street, beside University of Waterloo) Vote This November 10th for DAVID WELLHAUSER Waterloo's Ward 5 City Council The energy, intelligence, and com- mitment to do the work necessary for fully understanding the issues before the city Contributed Photo • || Will sit on the WLU Board of War may never become more comfortable. At least that's what many Israel soldiers mnst be thinking- after their govern- k Governors and represent students' ment unveiled a new model of the D 9 Bulldozer. This series has the flashy "remote control" feature designed to distance f| interests in reevaluating tuition soldiers from any violence that may arise when the bulldoz- deregulation er levels Palestinian homes. The Israeli military invests heav- ||| ily in remote-controlled technology and has already pio- neered one of the first unmanned aircraft models. Many crit- ics feel that these new bulldozers, amiably called "the terri- fying beasts of war," will put more innocent lives in danger. ' ncrease transparency and public The tactic of destroying homes suspected of housing a&ilMf Palestinian militants has been a staple Israeli tactic for well participation in local government over a decade and also heavily criticized since it's inception. j • Will lobby the region for a strong by-law restricting the cosmetic use of pesticides and move to restrict development on environ- R*mentally sensitive lands • Will conduct a full property standards review within 90 days of being elected,and propose appropriate amendments to these by-laws Dedicated to Returning Municipal Government to the People it Serves - US www.wellhauser.ca - 888-0695 Contributed Photo Wilfrid Laurier University Waterloo, Ontario For the first time in Chinese history, gay and lesbian demon- strators were allowed to march down the streets of Taipei, Taiwan. The small subsidiary of China has been known for its more progressive tendencies than the traditional main- land. March organizers said that over 22 homosexual groups registered for the parade and around 400 people turned out on November Ist. "Through the march, we want to present CALL FOR COMMENTS the 'sunshine' side of homosexuals to society... to let them be better understood by the general populace," said Li Ching- Evaluation Committee for the Dean of Music ling, an official at Taipei's Bureau of Civil Affairs. The groups are seeking gay marriage rights as well as constitu- Dr. Charles Morrison's term as Dean of the Faculty of Music tional protection against discrimination. ends on June 30, 2004. In accord with University procedures, an evaluation committee has been established to evaluate the work of the incumbent, review the position description, and make a recommendation regarding renewal. Submissions are invited from the University community on issues that should be considered during the evaluation process. A copy of the position description can be obtained by contacting Debbie Thayer, Secretary to the Committee, at ext. 3727 or at [email protected]. Submission (in writing or by e-mail) should be sent to the Committee Secretary by 4:30 p.m., November 17, 2003. All submissions considered by the Committee will be regarded as confidential. You may request to remain anonymous to the members of the Committee. The Committee Secretary should receive comments that indicate who the commentator is. She, the Secretary, will delete names of those who wish to be anonymous before the comments reach the Committee. Evaluation Committee Members: Contributed Photo Rowland Smith, Vice-President: Academic and Chair Parades, fireworks and revelry marked Panama's centennial Jim Beingessner, Board of Governors anniversary on Monday. The tiny Central American country, Anna Ferenc, Faculty of Music best known for its Canal, celebrated 100 years of independ- Amy Hamilton, Faculty of Music ence with 14 heads of state on hand along with a wide ai'ray Peter Hatch, dignitaries. Colin Powell, the American Secretary Faculty of Music °1-of State, was present to commemorate the independence day, Colleen Kidd, Student Representative, Faculty of Music one which America had a strong hand in. Since the the con- Colin Lee, Faculty of Music struction of the Canal for the purposes of trade in 1914, Nancy Peltier, Staff Representative, Manama has been under the American thumb. Their inde- Faculty of Music pendence was only recognized by Colombia in 1921 and only Michael Pratt, Department of Psychology because America ponied up $21 million to close the deal. Adele Reinhartz, Dean, Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research Mercedes Rowinsky, Department of Languages and Literatures . . Alma Santosuosso, Faculty of .. , 3 Music Office of the D ■ Compiled, by Bryn Boyce Vice-President: Academic: October 29, 2003 16 Feature Wednesday November 5,2003 The Cord's gay bar escapades (continued from Cover) listen. His act- and it certainly was "No-n0... it's not like that, largely an act- was humor- So, there we were, the six of I was just asking..." ously stereotypical and actu- lis awkwardly looking His denials were drowned ally served to make us more around, not sure what to in an ocean of laughter. comfortable, rather than expect. We felt like the chil- leaving- us feeling* threatened dren on the sidelines of a ***** in our heterosexuality as game of soccer baseball, look- may have been expected. His ing on whilst everybody else you guys want a performance was not far joyously participated in the Banana Orgasm shoot- removed from the shooter match. We were there, but we Doer with some white girls at other bars, where the didn't feel a part of what was stuff Oil top?" most desperate patron will happening. We needed a util- So was the initial pick-up swear she's hitting on him as ity bail so that we could start line for Shooter Guy, as he she oh-so-sexily accepts his our own game. would become known ten-dollar tip. Shooter Guy "So what the fuck do we throughout the evening. His appeared to be having- fun do now?" asked Chris tray of bright pink shooters with us. likely picking- up on Clemens, Entertainment clashed strongly with his the nervousness of the six Editor. Chris's penchant for pants which, ironically, straight guys at the gay bar speaking for everybody was resembled the hue of a and definitely noticing- our blatantly obvious, as the rest banana. He proudly held up a self-imposed ostracism as we of us had been wondering the can, the label for which had sat at the farthest table in the same thing. been replaced with a hand- darkest corner of the club. "We could get a drink, I written sign: "White Stuff". "I know you all want a suppose," I replied hesitantly. The brash ness of Shooter banana orgasm!" Shooter The herd of sheep quickly Guy was startling consider- Guy reiterated. His persist- moved towards the bar, necks ing we had been seated in ence paid off as Brandon craned so as to not miss any- near silence for over twenty reached into his pocket, thing'. We all noticed a trails- minutes, never tearing our pulling' out enough cash for vestite lightly stepping; eyes away from the sights two shooters, indicating that across the dance floor, high- around us while the inces- he would ' purchase one for ~ cut skirt exposing legs so sant boom-boom-boom' of the me, muscular that it would have techno beats pervaded each of "Remember, it's 85 proof," given her away if not for her our pores. repeated Shooter Guy as he masculine nose and jaw "Come on, it's 65 proof," squirted small clumps of already doing' that job for pitched Shooter Guy, his arm "White Stuff" on top of each her. test tube. "Hey, did you see that?" "Use your "Is it gonna fuck me up?" asked Brandon Currie. 1 asked, egging* him on in a Production Assistant. imagination. It's reference to the drink's "That transvestite? Yeah, I white, it's potency as I took the shooter saw... her," my natural incli- creamy from his hand. nation disallowing nie from and it's thick!" "Well, do you mean me or instantly calling' her a the drink?" female. —The Shooter Guy, in We laugh again as a Brandon and "That's transvestite?" reference to the "White I down the asked. Brandon, giving a shots, Shooter Guy continu- Stuff" in his shots quick second look. ing his banter with the oth- "Yeah! Of course it is! ers around the table, arm listened to what she had to one would even begin to face Look at her!" beginning to creep around never leaving Bryn's shoul- say before disappointedly- a situation such as that one. "No, no, I couldn't te11... 1 the shoulder of International der. taking* a seat at a nearby What if his father were a » - - « sav el wasn't Editor, Bryn Boyee, Now I know why people stool, head slightly hung. Minister, like Brandon's? Or sure," pied Brandon, almost "What's the white stuff?" I enjoy having their carica- Judging by his pointed move- a traditional Irishman, like begging me to not share his asked as innocently as possi- tures drawn: because they're ments and the frequent tug- Features Editor, Craig visual slip-up. ble. pretty damn funny. Shooter ging at his tightly-worn Radeli lie's? "You were checking out a "Use your imagination," Guy was a caricature of dress attire, he appeared to For now, however, he con- transvestite, weren't you?" I he replied coyly, arm now homosexuality, with the most be shy, a homosexual who tinued his unconvincing accused, not even, asking the fully slung around Bryn. "It's distinct parts super-sized for had attended that evening- at - dancing-, his friends keeping question as much as making white, it's creamy and it's all to enjoy. He was a charac- Renaissance hoping- to meet a sharp eye out for the next a statement. thick!" He spat out the last ter more than a person, who the man of his dreams. For a potential life partner. "N0...n0. I wasn't—" word, "thick", as if it were a could be plugged into any few brief moments. he Quickly they spot one, point- "Hey, Brandon was check- piece of dirt on the end of his bad teen movie, playing the thought Bryn could be that ing him out to their friend. A ing out the transvestite!" I tongue. gay friend who spews well- man. spark enters his eyes as the yelled to anybody who would We laughed genuinely. timed homosexual innuendo Watching- his two female same brunette girl embarks throughout the film. That companions assuredly rub- on a new mission. was fine, though, because we bing his back and encourag- It's amazing what hope sure liked him. can do to a man. * *** * "lf you want real & 'Jfi. ifc good cunt, Guelph were an eclectic a solid half-hour of bunch on the dance is the place to be. attempting to keep up Wefloor, siinked in the Especially on Afterwith the ridiculously back area forming a tight fast beats of the techno music human circle, the six of us Fridays." being pounded non-stop ranging in throughout the club, we greatly dance Old Man Club Ren style, skill and flamboyance. -Dirty at retreated back to our table, Opinion Editor Stefan only to find an overweight, Sereda had no problem bust- elderly man sitting there. He ing out his air guitar and ingly pulling him back to the wore dark sunglasses and a Mick Jagger-like poses while dance floor, my suspicions racing cap, indicating what Chris looked like he was were only confirmed. Two little effort he had made for about ready to head to a rave. straight female friends had appearances that night. He Alas, there stood Bryn. brought their gay friend to was clearly alone. This man Easily the most self-con- the bar to help him pick up. was a gay club cougar. scious, Bryn looked fright- They happily danced around He paid little mind to our ened while dancing, carefully him while he awkwardly joining him until we asked if making each motion almost moved, with little of the fluid- he minded us taking a photo as though he were attempt- ity or confidence of most of of him. He gestured confir- ing to prevent awakening a the other club patrons. His matively, and I snapped a sleeping lion while simulta- hands continually pulled at shot of Brandon and Bryn neously keeping a beat. his clothing, obviously smiling on either side of him. That didn't prevent his uncomfortable. The biggest He got up, coming around striking good looks from pro- giveaway was his face, how- to my side of the table and in voking interest, however. ever. His boyish good, looks a gruff tone, joked, "You're A plain-looking brunette were dampened by his lips, not putting* up my picture on girl approached Bryn, repeat- curled just slightly down- some porn site now, are ya?" edly yelling into his ear in an wards. He didn't appear I laughed politely, unsure attempt to make contact. unhappy as much as he of whether I wanted to Eventually she gave up, try- appeared sad. his limbs engage in conversation with ing* Chris instead. going through the motions what was potentially a dirty "Are all you guys while his friends grabbed his old man. straight?" she asked, point- arms, swinging him in vari- "Let me tell you. this is edly motioning towards ous directions, mouthing the not the right place to go if Bryn. words to the songs, attempt- you want some pussy," the Chris nodded at her. and ing; anything to cheer him man said., leaning in as if he she quickly retreated from up. The frown wasn't grim, were confiding* in me. "All whence she came while we all however. It wasn't an. "I-just- the real good pussy is in followed her with our eyes, failed-my-mid-term" frown as Guelph." wanting' to decipher the much as an "T-just-came-out- His breath reeked of a meaning' behind her o i-1 h e- c 1 ose t - a nd - am - no t - smell that could only be - approach. s 11 r e - wh at-to - d o - wi th - in y equated to death in exhala- Her intention was clear life" type of frown. A frown tion form. when she reported back to that had remained umnov- her friend, a thin yomig-isli ing*, firmly in place for days, looking guy, with styled hair weeks even. I began wonder how (continued on page 19) and < shiny purple shirt. He to Wednesday November 5.2003 Feature 17 "Name that gender" is fun another human obstacle on the dance floor that a parade of transvestites and brash homosexuals had to circum- navigate in their valiant attempts to molest Bryn Boyce. My failure to show up as a pink blip on these fel- lows' "gay-dar" was A-okay, however, as I was left in bemused peace to observe the bizarre circus taking- place all around me through the fog and seizure-inducing strobe lights. Surprisingly enough. Renaissance was a relatively comfortable and interesting environment for a straight person to chillax in. A saucy Name: Chris Clemens shooter-boy dropped, by from time to time with a collection Age: 21 of diverse coine-ons and a can of whipped cream, his adap- Program: English/ Wilbur McLean tation of a stereotypical gay Communication Studies persona amusing in its famil- Bryn Boyce, centre, poses with Tiffani, right, and an anonymous transvestite. While the transvestite iarity. Less familiar were the talked dirty to Bryn it was Tiffani whose phone number Bryn wound up with at the end of the night. Turn-ons: punk music, assortment of convincing tattoos and piercings female bodies that frequently unabashedly danced around the formulaic 'white male no- Men. It was a surprisingly turned around to reveal a the club in a hazy stupor, I rhythm dance routine' and fun and unique alternative to Turn-offs: clinginess, jagged nose or beefy jaw, a had the unique experience of they haven't looked at me conventional clubs, utterly plieno m en on not caring' what ONCE!" Many of us noticed removing the 'mating' ritual' girls without a shred of evil which, sparked anyone there the distinct lack of pressure aspect that dominates the Gays are: attracted to many rousing The assortment of thought of me. to present a positive impres- scene in meat, markets like games of "Name Straight club sion for onlookers. To be hon- Louie's and the Rev. I suppose the same sex... clearly That Gender!" convincing female scenes typically est most of the heterosexuals Renaissance can also be con- Watching 1 trans- bodies sparked revolve around in the bar were locked in sidered a meat market in a vestites play sec- image and Phil's-esque make-out ses- much more straightforward Gay people apparently aren't ondary gender many rousing impression and sions on the dance floor any- sense, but for the straight into me. That's the definite roles was an games of "Name our antics ways, too busy to notice how connoisseur it's a welcome vibe I got during our adven- interesting' would have uncool we were being*. chance to get out of the grind ture at Club Renaissance, sight and their that Gender!" earned us the Club Renaissance was cer- and peaceably observe a dras- Kitchener's haven for the flamboyance disapproving- tainly an eclectic bar, attract- tically different lifestyle sexually alternative and and tlatintmess was as enter- glares of many a hooched-up ing an interesting and while listening" to some tech- unconventional. I didn't feel taining' as any theatre actor's wench at the Turret: "Oh. My. diverse patronage which no-remixed Michael Jackson. unwelcome or despised by performance. Gawd. What are those guys unfortunately included sev- any means, but rather just As I energetically and doing'? They aren't following* eral trademark Dirty - Old The Truth-Seekers Guidebook available FREE online at www.eventodawardxom v ..••• .:y. : ..--;; '-; ; ;.V"-- v.—-." ,•_••'• • • 1 " experience of religion eventually ( and "The ajSuveSs Antral and Superuniverses results in the certain consciousness of and in the undoubted mversc God assurance of TheLocalL ' The Local universe the survival of the believing personality." I'ABl •" Hj TheHistoryoTurantia (1105:03 The Mia Book) The Life and | partiv Teachings of Jesus The Life and Teachings of Jesus 18 Feature Wednesday November s.2offi Gays are uncouth like everybody else a night at Club Renaissance, could, find? The answer can it was obvious that gay and be found by exploring the straight foreheads are evenly music in any other club: the sloped, their brows just as human race is full of idiots. low. Homosexuals just have a Something' as intrinsic as few different stale ideas. stupidity pays no heed to the The guy dressed up as a boundaries of sexual prefer- sailor seemed to be leading ence. all the patrons to the new One thing the DJ and cer- world of tacky, just like tainly the crowd can be com- Columbus looking* for spice- mended on, though, is their rich India and landing* on warm reception of straight some continent that everyone artists. Homosexual musi- should have overlooked. cians are often marginalized Considering' another in atten- by the heterosexual main- dance was decked out for stream and put into a new some construction work, I'm closet, on the "we-don't-want- hoping that the two of them to-know-about-your-lifestyle" didn't get shore leave until shelf. Others, who built a fan- Name: Stefan Sereda after Halloween and were wearing- costumes that Just like a Age: 21 played on tired old character- izations. predominantly Program: English Just like a predominantly heterosexual bar, heterosexual bar, the majori- Turn-ons: humour, good ty of folks wore clothes with the majority of looks, Nicole Kidman little originality. After five wore minutes in a club full of men folks clothes Turn-offs: smoking, dressed like Will, the few with little dressed like Grace seemed Satan-worshippers, much more creative, and it originality cyclopes was definitely a startling experience to see a towering base before braving - public Gays are: cool when "woman" in a vinyl corset scorn for their sexual identi- the room. scrutinized have moustaches walk into men's ty, are constantly they big Much more disappointing, by the media, and even their I still couldn't however, was the music: an fans. Tlxe Club Renaissance abysmal collection of dance patrons didn't seem to mind I always believed the myth hall tracks, remixed to sound that "Billie Jean" discusses that homosexual culture was like Much Dance '94 was sex between a male and a tasteful and classy. Maybe I acceptable audio both then female. I doubt Turret-goers up now. in the would the same way pick subscribed to this cliched and The low point react if stereotype because I'm evening was a sped-up ver- the DJ put on a song* about straight, or maybe it's sion of "Billie Jean" that sex between two men. In this Renaissance did debunk because so many great artists made Michael out to be a sense. Club Renaissance many of the ignorant gay and thinkers, from Plato to methamphetamine addict. It seemed rather mature. myths I had internalized Auden to Elton, gave credit to almost made me glad that the If we are dispelling the through shows like Queer as the gay community through shirtless. bat-winged DJ myths surrounding' homo- Folk. There were no wanton their brilliance. Time after wouldn't play my Prince sexuality, then we must dis- displays of flesh and eroti- prejudiced time it seemed like request. pel the positive ones as well. cism, save the odd bare-chest- heterosexual society was por- This was dumbfounding, Like anyone else, it is a ed shooter boy. traying* homosexuals as though. Why. when a culture minority of homosexuals Compared to the local Village People with lisps, has so many of their own tal- who are highly innovative, straight meat markets, which just seemed insulting. ented and danceable musi- the rest can fall prey to Renaissance had none of the Of course, many stereo- cians, would they play the cliches like the rest of us. 'go-down-on-your-boyfriend- types exist for a reason. After worst possible music they in~ the-dark-corner-of-the- Turret' sleaziness, nor did I feel gawked-at or threatened at any time. In fact, Renaissance was completely free of the boor- ishness I have come to expect Name: Brandon Currie from straight clubs. Perhaps to the a Where's all the sex? Age: 20 it's due presence of single hormone, because Program: History/Global there was an obvious maturi- tion we can make between the We six heterosexual ty and abundance of "club eti- gay culture and ourselves: adventurers sidled awkward- Studies quette". People would move sexual orientation. We envi- ly through the crowd of for you when you crossed the sion a gay club as a den of dancing* spectators and Turn-ons: self-confi- dance floor, and getting a debauchery where homosex- ordered our first gay bar dence, intelligence, kindness drink wasn't like competing ual people go to seek out sex- drinks. According to popular with the other Wildebeest for ual conquests. In our irra- belief, gay men drink Pink Turn-offs: arrogance, a spot at the watering hole. tional fear of something* we Ladies or anything with a lit- Another surprising dis- don't understand, we seek to tle umbrella. I knew that was materialism covery was the existence of "other" the homosexual cul- preposterous but I still had Gays are: demonized by male "cougars", who dressed ture in order to assert domi- no idea what to order to be and danced just as badly as nance over our fears. able to at least marginally the right-wing media their heterosexual counter- In reality, a g*ay bar is no blend in. What may be sur- parts. Where I expected to more sexually charged than prising to some is not that find an impeccably dressed, Louie's or the Turret (I would nary an umbrella nor pink argue even less since I didn't beverages to be found on the If the six of us had been cate- dance see any lewd acts at Club dance floor. In fact, most peo- gorized prior to entering We couldn't Renaissance beyond the ple were either drinking beer Club Renaissance, I would either, which made bump'n'grind). My experi- or simple mixed drinks (even certainly have been the ence with Club Renaissance though they were in nicely "hooched up" guy. My shirt for a piss-poor Name: Craig Radcliffe was an enlightening* one, as shaped glasses). was stylish and somewhat facade of 20 my preconceived notions of a Shortly after we'd taken tight fitting, my hair was Age: gay bar gleaned from such our seats and gazed around finely waxed and sculpted homosexuality. Program: English sources as "American nervously for a few minutes, and I was outfitted in the lat- Wedding" and"The a bare-chested shot boy est Club Monaco khakis. Turn-ons: socialism, Birdcage" were disrupted approach Bryn and put his Since I have no openly gay well-kept and promiscuous intelligence and debunked once and for arm around Bryn. He then friends, I was basing this assembly of twenty-some- all. proceeded to regale us with image on the handful of thing' homosexuals, I found a Turn-offs: capitalism, Stepping into Club sexual innuendos relating to times I have accidentally seen unique atmosphere that was Renaissance, I looked around the shots he was holding, one Queer as Folk when channel highly diverse yet refreshing intolerance at a club that looked exactly of which was named "Banana surfing, which, while being in that you could really be instructive on Gays are: as natural as like every other club I've ever Orgasm". This was all-too supposedly yourself. been to. There was a bar with familial*, as shot girls in gay culture and fashion, In the end, my hooehed-up we "breeders" seats in front for the non- straight bars employ similar severely freaks me out. state did not bear fruit, dancing crowd to sit, a dance methods. Despite my best efforts, except in the form of a free floor with a DJ booth and a During my visit to Club we were still painfully shot from the scantily clad The couple of pool tables. The Renaissance, the blind gener- straight, well, with one shooter boy. Thus, I also mainstream culture of to heterosexuality often makes clientele was not as stereo- alizations I have been taught exception that I attribute learned the eternal lesson of and rash judgements about the typical as I had presupposed. about homosexual culture his keen sense of style hoochiness: that no matter gay sub-culture. We (being I half expected to be blinded were shattered and I'm glad. boyish good looks. how hooched one becomes, it the heterosexual main- by sequins and shiny pants, There really isn't much of a With the exception of only creates false expecta- stream) often assume that but instead most people were difference between Club Wilbur, we couldn.t dance tions that are inevitably which made for a there is a heightened sexual dressed casually and some Renaissance and any other either, dashed when you fail to atmosphere gay clubs even had. shockingly dance club, excepting the rather piss-poor facade of attract that prototypical part- in homosexuality. based on the only differentia- enough, baseball caps. presence of same-sex couples. ner, be it male or female. Nonetheless, Club Wednesday November 5.2003 Feature 19 Transvestites really like me I hesitated. Wilbur asked me amiable and uncloaked cock- from one leg to the other extremely convincing- in her last week if I wanted to go to tailer approached us as we with the occasional shoulder attire, especially when com- the gay bar and my first reac- hit the dance floor offering* roll. I embarrass myself. I pared to a nearby 7'3" giant tion was hesitation. I was shots. The Banana Orgasm loathe Louis, daring the trip who sought a similar body pissed. was his recommendation and only when cornered and image. She also had an affin- This pervasive apprehen- it was topped off with the drunk beyond all reason. ity for talking dirty as she sion that seemed so immedi- remark-prone whipped coolly demonstrated to me in ate to me just ended up cream from a can re-labeled, a series of drowned-out com- angering me. After all. I con- "White Stuff. The shot tube The transvestite ments in which only the most sider myself extremely easy was placed in the crouching was convincing in fetid of adjectives and verbs going on all counts and com- cocktailer's mouth and the were made clear. fortable in nearly any situa- proper method of consump- her attire, To be honest, I found min- tion. tion was a face-to-face hands- especially when gling with gays at the bar Name: Bryn Boyce Shortly after hopping in free transfer. fun. I've been hit on by gays to a cab and stating our des- I think by the time we hit compared to a before and it's surprisingly Age: 20 tination the driver asked us the dance floor, our hetero- nearby 7'3" giant. similar to hitting on, and about our evening's itinerary. sexuality was starkly appar- being hit on by, a "breeder." Program: Pol-Sci and Myself and two others in the ent. We squirmed and As expected there was a Global Studies cab sat in silence for an ever- writhed under the epileptic In general. I'm a seden- distinctly more sexualized lasting four-count before strobe lighting and Electric tary pub-goer with more air to the bar but it was still Turn-ons: nice eyes, a explaining our investigative, Circus-like music. The tech- interest in conversation than far less pronounced than my not recreational, purposes. It no's pulsating bass lines and gyration anyway. The padded stereotypes had braced me sharp humour, playfulness seemed that even after some terse high-pitched scratches bar seats were divine. for. Most people brace them- Turn-offs: arrogance, copious substance abusing were successful in spooking And it was in these seats selves too strongly against we still sought to keep our us into the corner of the that we met an enchanting homosexuality and it's for drive, baseball heterosexuality front and dance floor and then back to pair of girls near the end of the worse. How many people centre in our minds. Scribble our table. the evening. One was a saucy can tell me they've really Gays are: well kempt, it on our hand or write a Retreating was for the transvestite, whose name lived unless they've been hit jovial and heavily post-it note just to remember: best. My paltry repertoire of escapes me, along with her on by a flippant transvestite? "Not Gay." dance moves consists mostly straight friend Tiff'ani. stereotyped Once inside the bar, an of in-time weight transfers The transvestite was There are straight guys in my bar A Club Ren regular comments on witnessing Cord staff on their gay bar adventure After going' to a post- would be fun to observe of Gays are very catty. (Bryn boasted. I pointed him in the Halloween party I ended up them, as I knew they would was by far the most popular; direction of Team Straight at Ren mulling' amongst my stand out like a sore thumb. Stefan was dressed nice, but Guys and he dashed off to go friends on the dance floor. I You see, the people who a little too preppy. Oh, and chat it up with Bryn, the only expected the evening to go as frequent Club Renaissance, they all had horrible shoes.) one he knew. Sean eventually usual and have nothing of even on the rarest occasion, After a few drinks Team found out that yes. indeed interest really happen. Then, usually know who's who in Straight Guys work their they were writing- something- out of the corner of my eye I the community. So whenever way onto the dance floor. for the paper. And that yes, noticed a group of guys scut- someone new enters our They formed a little circle they were having a good tle nervously across the club domain he or she tends to be and began to dance, almost to time. into one of the dark corners. noticed. the beat. I must admit they Surprising events contin- "Ah, Fresh meat," I did pretty well. Unlike most ued to occur throughout the thought to myself. But on a most straight guys I know, their night. Some blonde girl closer inspection I realised it Unlike movements didn't remind me found her way into the club Name: Daniel Roth was some of the guys from straight guys I of a dry-heave to music. But and attached herself to Bryn. The Cord. it was obvious that they Whatever. Sean summarized Age: 23 "A coming out party?" I know, their weren't used to dancing so that event best, "I find it wondered, "No, they're all movements didn't close to other guys without a refreshing* to see straight Program: Comm. Studies breeders, or at number of girls present. It at least they remind me of a guys the gay bar. seeing as Turn-ons: higher educa- think they are, what are they looked a little awkward, they how it is actually a great all doing- here?" Then I fig- dry-heave to music fit right in with the man place to pick up chicks." tion, health consciousness ured it out... cougars, they don't dance After all was said and "Oh lord! They're going to well either, but I digress. done I hope they learned a lot Turn-offs: arrogance, write some kind of expose on Now, nobody would ever As more people trickled and had a good time, and people who aren't real gay socialization habits for say anything as most people into the club I noticed my who knows maybe the even the paper, each wanting to be at that club just tend to do buddy Sean, also a Laurier picked up a few decent dance Gays are: totally like Diane Fossey but writing their own thing". But that student, enter the club. I told moves. Homos in. the Club instead of doesn't stop us from talking him of who I spotted, misunderstood Gorillas in the Mist." about them behind their "Straight boys are here! From then on I thoughtit backs. Where-where-where!" he Men dressed up as women and dirty old men (continued from page 16) n't see him. again that night. words." many inside Club ings once more, knowing* full Not long after, however, "Key words? Like what?" Renaissance. There were well that the chances of any Not a pretty, dying-in-your- we noticed a female speaking "Ass... dick... cum... yeah, Stefan-heads running of us appearing- at Club Ren sleep kind of death, either. with the tall transvestite she was talking some mean around everywhere. again were slim, despite each No, his breath was three days from earlier. It had become a shit to me." Stefan reached up to his of us openly acknowledging* of torture before being left to fun activity throughout the A transvestite just tried to head, feeling around, seem- that we had a great time on bleed, that nasty kind of night to attempt to verify pick up Bryn using the ingly in an attempt to reaf- this particular night. death. each female's gender. This words ass, dick and cum. firm his affinity for his hair. On our way out. one espe- Potentially? Nope. There was one drew instant attention That's funny. He failed miserably. cially pushy bouncer no denying that he was a because she was conversing The girl, whose name was exclaimed, "Hey! Where are dirty old man. I humoured with the transvestite. Tiffani, spoke up to the rest •t. * ** * you guys going? The club's him, anyway. Breasts? Looked real and of us: "So are all you guys this way!" "Really? Guelph?" she was wearing a tight straight?" was nearing 1:30 and We acknowledged him "Yeah, there's this place shirt, helping in the authen- "How did you know we after a second session of with a slight chuckle but car- right by the University on tication process. Legs? She were straight?" I asked, Itdancing both prompted ried onward to the parking- the main road down there. was wearing pants, so we quizzically. She examines and led by Tiffani, Bryn's lot, his incessant beckoning That's where all the good couldn't really tell. Facial fea- each of our faces, searching new sidekick, we had become continuing. cunt is. If you want real good tures? Very slender, and for answers. more comfortable, despite Finally, when we were cunt, that's the place to be. rounded: definitely convinc- "I don't know, you all just now having an attractive almost out of hearing range, Especially on Fridays." ing. Arms? Femininely thin. look straight. Well, except for young female dancing with he screamed at us: "Bend Despite being appalled, I She passed the test. She him," she says, blatantly us. Thankfully, she wasn't over!" was actually more curious: was a woman, through and pointing at Stefan, who looks very good. Bend over. We reacted the what was a dirty old hetero- through. Once we accepted up to see her finger motion- The club had filled up and same way we did to every- sexual man doing in a gay that fact, we realized she was ing in his direction. We the characters were every- thing else that night: we bar? an extremely attractive laugh ecstatically » while where. One guy was dressed laughed. "So why are you here?" woman, too. Stefan looks shocked, unsure as a cyclist with the neces- Undoubtedly, visiting- "Yeah, I go there on The girl and the transves- of how to react to this new- sary tight cyclist shorts Club Renaissance was an Friday nights. Saturdays I tite approached our table, found revelation that in a exposing a bulge. experience none of us would come here because I work in specifically Bryn. The girl group of obvious straight Shooter Guy was all over ever forget. Roommates and Kitchener." responded the seemed especially friendly, guys he managed to look the place and looked to be girlfriends were already anx- dirty old man. clearly not engaging in nonchalant ban- gay. making some serious sales, ious to hear what happened. understanding my question. ter while the transvestite "Why does he look gay?" We, meanwhile. were But first. Mel's Diner. We His death breath grew leaned into Bryn's ear, whis- we ask excitedly. winding down. Having crawled into two separate to stronger as he leaned in clos- pering to him . She immediately points arrived relatively early and cabs again, instructing the er. "What was she saying to his head. expending so much energy cab driver as to our destina- I turned away, no longer you?" we asked later. "It's his hair." on our concern with what tion. able to bear the death breath "Well, the music was so A quick scan around the might occur, we had grown "Mel's Diner? Sure, no or his sick comments any loud that I couldn't really room proved that, indeed, tired. problem," said our driver. lurther. He soon left. We did- hear much, so all I could pick Stefan's pampered rock-star We made our way to the "So," he began, "what did up were some of the key hair style was popular with exit, taking in our surround- you guys do tonight?" 20 Student Life Wednessday November 5 2003 Ferris Bueller?...Bueller?... Making- such adult-like deci- Go to class for your own sake, and The learning environment should not sions is an important part of university. If class is so get free marks for it be limited to only the classroom important (and I'm not say- ing' it isn't) then I'm sure it ties and a variety of other would be impossible to miss a Get your reading books? Any Jane, Ditch- it's obligations. Some students single day without being* Dick or Sally could ren- are simply unable to attend seriously and irreversibly ass to class dezvous to their local library your right each and every single class. screwed. or bookstore and read the This does not make them In the end, if students are exact same material as you poor students. If anything, able to miss a class here or I, what sets Cheryl and However, Michelie they should be rewarded for there and still do extremely university students apart Pinchev being such vocal and commit- well, then maybe the class Haines from, the reading public is the ted members of the Laurier isn't as significant as profs unique experience of learn- and Waterloo community, would like to think it is. In ing* within a classroom set- and if they are able to keep my opinion, if we have Here it goes: attendance I was under some misguided ting, amongst your peers, impression that earning my up with their readings, proven ourselves and have marks should count for your with your professors. homework, studying, etc, learned the material, despite final grade. I am fully aware high school diploma also Professors often encour- meant moving away from the why should they be docked the 'challenge' of making up that I am endorsing* a prac- age active participation with- marks at all? for missed classes, then we've tice that many students will daily boondoggle and dicta- any in lectures, in turn allowing school Every individual is earned the mark. If the not agree with. I understand torship of the public students to hear a variety of system. I can vote, drink and. unique. For some it may be course has such a minor that those who agree fall into opinions and ideas, thereby to impression on students, then two drive a ear (not all at once, of much more beneficial distinct groups. enhancing; our level of under- I few hours reading, maybe some changes should who use course) but regardless. spend a Our professors standi 11 g, Attendance marks studying in a small work- be made, and not just in the participation marks as a vali- haven't yet proven my intelli- contribute to students attend- gence or decision-making group with peers or even syllabus. dation of students" under- ing their lectures, thus set- receiving one-on-one atten- Perhaps, as an alternative standing of course content. abilities to the university. ting the stage for full-scale Many students have as much tion from a tutor, than to to docking marks, professors As well, those students who in discus- to participation, class % attend class. saying should try actually make the as 20 of their marks riding I'm not like option of having sions. that class is a waste of time. their classes interesting- as their final grade bumped-up on attendance, a stingingiy Nevertheless, reading is unpleasant reminder of high AH I am saying is that it an incentive for students to 10 or 20 %, simply by attend- still a vital asset in learning*. school restraints and the should be up to the student to come, Make us want to be ing a lecture and making a By now, many of us know decide how that precious there, don't drag" us kicking few remarks. manacles of injustice. ambiguous that extracting* knowledge we be as hour or two is best spent. and screaming. I am devoted to appealing If are to treated from any given text requires children, why abandon the to those of you who fall in- a number of critical and ana- between the spectrum, that is more congenial practices of lytical skills. These skills are recess, milk the 'average student". The story-time, learned within the classroom lunches or naptime? student who enjoys most of through our professors and their lectures but not all, and Seriously speaking, peo- provide us with the means to miss are who contributes class dis- ple who classes in acquire broader interpreta- disadvantage; cussions, but not religiously already at a tion from the narrative. why penalize them? who is consistently further and Professors have years of If a not ahead in their reading's... student chooses to scholarly and applied knowl- let that be their some of the time. So why are attend class, edge under their belts. As choice. It is much more effec- attendance marks good for students, we are beginners average student? Why do tive in teaching people posi- the within the intellectual field, tive and responsible behav- some professors make them thus how can we know for iour to individuals to count towards our final allow certain we properly under- own to grade? Firstly giving credit find their motivation stand the material? class, just for attendance gives profes- attend rather than Professors encourage us to forcing them to participate. sors the guarantee that stu- seek out new ways of think- dents have extracted the Students who miss all the lec- ing and viewing knowledge. will knowledge put forth in lec- tures, labs or class work Thus, attending lectures pro- probably lose enough marks tures or have at least vides insight into other attempted to do so. Yet atten- in regards to tests and forms of learning, such as assignments, that maintain- dance marks are not only of understanding the opinions value for professors. ing a grade for attendance is of our professors, open dis- excessive and unnecessary. The classroom atmos- cussion with classmates and phere is an integral part of The different learning- the possibility to immerse methods and lifestyles of the learning, just as living on yourself in contrasting ideas. campus during first year is students who attend this And last but not least, be an important aspect of the school cannot ignored. when in doubt, go to class. It Many students carry jobs and Contributed Photo full university experience. could be an easy mark and Who would want to acquire are active in volunteer Ferris Bueller may be the most famous king of ditching class. All you heck we're paying for it. sports teams, sorori- all of their information from groups, eager beavers could learn something from his laziness. Is Laurier a campus of fear? So I acknowledge the necessi- Is Are ty of the image. I understand anyone really safe at Laurier? how crucial awareness is to safety. I just feel my stomach students even taking precautions? turning' over every time those His empty eyes stare into my soul pus. image is infecting worst Guest our peaceful, high-spirited and emphasize the environment with a plague of facets of humanity. Columnist Hundreds of copies For a rare few, this pixe- anxiety. into of his eyes stare at you from lated image just fades box- the background of competing every* possible direction, ing- you in without any posters and time constraints; Erika even it a sec- Ivanic means of escape. they don't give I resent the conditioned ond glance. Or maybe exten- sive media coverage has just fear floating* through the air extent As I pull open the familiar and manifesting desensitized us to the of campus accepted doors of the Fred Nichols itself through this incredibly that rape is almost Contributed Photo as a societal norm. Campus Centre an image generic mug shot of a white a rapist? catches me, invades my con- could resemble What strikes me is how Does this man look more like your roommate and less like male who hits. sciousness and pursues my from Eminem to that close to home this image anyone up in the city, daily path across Laurier, guy who served me a double After growing- of the smaller town of Waterloo ly women, continue to walk order to remain conscious This image is, of course, double coffee at Tim Horton's is and our intimate campus alone at night despite the the current danger. But it the computer generated the other day. possible to acknowledge the the predator I have horrific within it has always given services offered by Foot sketch of sexual I hate it. this it's too much seriousness of the situation which leers at us from every urge to rip the image up into me the illusion of safety. Patrol. Perhaps along a nuisance to dial seven without being' naive and door, every wall, every news- such minuscule shreds that Now, with the majority of Laurier, this numbers wait ten min- without succumbing' to an paper and every available not a single feature is dis- of women at and security is being- utes to be picked up when atmosphere subsisting' large- space on campus. From the cernible and I won't ever sense of our a of panic. they home in solid ly > Concourse to the washrooms, have to look at threatened and daily can be it again. no igno- Caution is key here. Don t those eyes lurk behind all Now don't get me wrong. I lives invaded. This is five. Perhaps it's simple we are rance. Or some let a few sickening incidents hidden corners and I can am not attempting to take the longer an incident perhaps on a six news women don't want to feel colour your entire perception sense them boring into the blue pill and live in a idealis- observing- pm we from the rest of the but don't be stupid about it of my skull with each tic refuses broadcast, but something alienated back dream world that community by locking them- either. Let that warning voice step I take. to accept reality for what it are confronted with every- is constantly in their room at night. in the back of your head The threat of this is. Rape and assault are only day. That image selves face. It's essential to accept the speak when something does- assaulter, which began as a a microcosm of what this in our of the repetition of this n't feel right. Just don't ever slight tremor, is now shaking world is capable of and we The irony situation persistent is how many people, especial- image and its implications in let fear control you. the very core of Laurier cam- can't just turn a blind eye. Wednesday November 5.2003 Student Life 21 Food for Thought constructed with tons of ($10.99). The burger came dation. The pie was made by but just as tasty. empty Jim Beam bottles. heaped with sauteed mush- one of the manager's mothers We left Brubacher's with a Our server came over and rooms, bacon and melted and was incredibly rich and good impression of a place we got things started by cheddar with fries and was filling', almost overwhelming that serves a good selection ordering a round of drinks, even better tasting than it but very good if you are look- of quality food at a great which included a root beer looked according to my ing' for a dessert with sub- value, and with the thought float ($2.99), that was old friend. Under the pastabili- stance. The apple wrap was in mind of returning whenev- fashioned and very good. ties section of the menu is deep-fried and came with ice er we need to overstuff our- Brubacher's has a good where you could find my cream, not as heavy as the pie selves once again. selection of appetizers, fea- dish, one of the many pastas turing a little bit of every- that are offered and one of thing including mussels Brubacher's specialties. marinara ($7.99), antijitos It was a medley of shrimp, WEEKLY DAVE BONE Restaurant Reviewer ($6.85) and escargot ($5.99). chicken, sausage, green and Groups could partner up and red peppers, tomatoes, and try the Team Platter ($24.99) mushrooms immersed in a BAD After working up a huge appetite while watching' the which has a little of it all. creamy blush sauce on a bed intense Laurier football game My friend chose perogies of rotini noodles. Everything ($5.25) that came filled with in the dish complemented DRAWING all afternoon, My friend and I needed to fill ourselves with a cheese and covered with crisp each other nicely and the por- By Pete Cram big meal before going out on bacon and onions and a side tion was especially hefty. the town that evening. We of sour cream. It was a Entrees come in all shapes decided to try Brubacher's healthy portion and was and sizes and include things Grill House, a self-proclaimed quite good, but it couldn't like the basic one-piece fish specialist in pizza, pasta and compare to the shrimp sizzler and chips meal ($7.99) to the steak that I located about five ($6.99) that I had. Two large New York steak ($16.99), minutes down Victoria Street pieces of garlic bread sur- with stops along the way like beside the popular bar 33 rounded the bowl of shrimp chicken parmesan ($12.99) degrees north. and veggies that were and a rack of ribs ($15.99). We walked into a lively sauteed in garlic and was The pizza is another focus of dining room packed with a topped with melted cheese: it the menu and from what I variety of clientele young and was piping hot and delicious. saw at other people's tables it old. We were seated in the We were also brought out is worth a try. Pizzas come in upper tier of the two sections a loaf of bread to share, and it two sizes and choices consist of the restaurant. The atmos- would have put many other of the trusty cheese and meat phere was fun and energetic, restaurants' breads to shame. lovers to Mediterranean and popular music filled the air Once we polished off the teriyaki. Pizzas range in and an interesting decor first round, it was on the price from $10.99 to $18.99. including pictures of hockey main event, and our meals Even though we were so stars and the Three Stooges were brought right in time stuffed we could barely talk; lined the walls. There were after our apps were finished. the thought of leaving with- model planes hanging from The menu is huge so picking out dessert never crossed our the ceiling which were cool, out a meal proved to be a bit minds as we heard the verbal but the most impressive challenging, but my friend dessert menu. My friend object above our heads was settled on the Brubacher chose the apple wrap and I the massive Jim Beam chan- deluxe burger ($7.25) and I went with the peanut butter delier, a giant light structure chose Brubacher's jambalaya pie at the server's recommen- comes tip, use the skills you urgency to say or do some- learned to make something thing, but you allow your big happen for yourself. shy defense mechanism to AskKate... I am hoping that you are stop you, be aware of this just old fashioned and that and overrule it. For example, you don't really believe that when the guy is around next it's not okay for girls to ask time and you feel compelled If you have it bad for a stranger how do you boys to go out on dates. But to say something to him, but if you are really unsure then stop because you're seared - overcome your shyness and make a move? let me clarify - of course it's don't stop just take a deep okay. It's more than okay- breath and say something - * Dear Kate, Hopingfor that date... guys like it when they don't anything - if he's a nice guy and write down five normal have to do everything. Guys he'll keep the conversation I have a problem. I have a Date for Two: day-to-day things that you are expected to ask, pick up rolling. crush on a boy, but he doesn't are afraid of doing. Every the tab, drive, kiss or not So the next time you see know. I've only talked to him Don't be afraid to ask him. time you have the opportuni- kiss - there are endless him and his fancy eyes say once or twice, out he gives me You can't lose anything more amounts of decisions that lie hey, want to go out for a fancy eyes" whenever he sees than what you will lose if If he says no, so be on a man's shoulders when drink sometime? Harder said me. I really want to get to you don't ask. Some may say he is trying to pick up a girl. than done? Bull. Just say it. know him better, but my prob- dignity but how much digni- it, you still get to Not that ladies don't put in And if he says no, so be it, lem is that I am too sky... I've ty does one gain when they cross it off your list their share - but if you are you still get to cross it off never asked a boy on a date are too much of a coward to really interested in a guy you your list of things you were before and go for their dreams, aspira- of things you were should not only help make too scared to do. Be proud of I'm afraid that but maybe ask him he would tions, dates? decisions pay sometimes yourself no matter what the ifI if too scared to do. and make the first move too. outcome. »»/° 3° on a date with me I would imagine this fear ne1 u say no. I I don't of rejection is what" stops Practice makes perfect. e mean Overcoming a natural timidi- Always ven know his name, just most people from doing ty to complete a 'task' use r he's ty the hot guy that sometimes things they want to do. But your fear to push yourself, takes time. A few tips Kate. buys subs at Mr. Sub. How do I avoiding rejection is overrat- pump yourself up and com- would be - start slowly, as get over this fear? Is it normal ed. If people avoided rejection plete whatever it is you were unfortunate as it is, people g t0 boys out on their whole lives they would afraid to do. Afterwards may reject a new outspoken "wL Vl Kate Ziegler appears the Ask dates? How should I approach never get that great job they cross it off and keep the list you, so just be persistent and in nim as a reminder of all the don't let a few I'ejections stop Kate advice column weekly. Ifyou lam at a loss here. /am wanted, get a deal on then- would like to ask Kate a question c u the girl of things you weren't so scared you from achieving a less . about these first car or marry send it to [email protected]. J do after all. Then when shy self. When situations ' Take a piece of to Identity (Hieers 9S their dreams. arise and you have the is confidential. All paper, or even a mental note, something more extravagant questions are welcome! 22 Student Life Wednesday November 5.2003 Horoscope Week of November 5 - November 12 Happy Birthday Gemini Virgo Sagittarius Pisces - Scorpio! - - - May 21 June 21 . August 23 September 23 November 22 December 21 February 20 March 20 § Someone quite special to you You are going to see why cer- Someone is going to do some- You could have a confronta- You are about to embark on a will make an extra effort to tain things didn't work out in thing that will disrupt your tion with someone who is not new challenge. If either per- show how much he or she the past as well as you want- life for the next while. going to listen to reason at sonal or work related, know cares for you. Your friends ed to. The predestined plan, Although it is not a major all. The best way to settle this that it is going- to be a lot of are also going to want to in which all the recent events event, the disruption is not dispute is to forget about it work. People around may not spend time with you for your have been leading up to, is what you need. The best all and just move on. Stay on be all they seem to be, so don't birthday so make sure any about to take shape. Expect thing to do is to make this top of your work; you could be too trusting of anyone you work is done ahead of time so the unexpected. person happy and move on. have trouble balancing it oth- don't know. you can enjoy your time with erwise. them. Luckiest day: November 8. Luckiest day: November 11. Luckiest day: November 8. Luckiest day: November 9. Aries Cancer 17?% Li bra Capricorn - - - - * March 21 April 19 June . September 24 October 22 December 22 January 19 22 July 22 { fgfpg^gif| Daniel Roth is a After a long struggle with All the extra effort you have You're going to have to deal You could be offered the Journalism to in some- graduate of Conestoga College trying to keep on top of been putting into your work with many different situa- chance participate and new week. Also be is currently a things you are finally going is going to pay off. You will tions or issues over the next thing this Communication Studies to get the break you deserve. finally start receiving the while. They are all unrelated aware that the possibility for a is if student at Wilfrid Laurier. He However, don't be blind to the awards you deserve. Try and so don't combine them when new job around you, you has studied Astrology and work that still has to be done. pace yourself over the next working through them. You want something different that is. issues other topics ofthat genre for Expect some surprises in the while. Things won't be hap- will learn some interesting Any financial will go almost, ten gears.' next few weeks. pening to you at a steady facts about yourself over the as you expect. rate. next while. Luckiest day: November 11. Luckiest day: November 10. Luckiest day: November 11. Luckiest day: November 7. Taurus Leo Scorpio ilfjj Aquarius s=^3l . - - - October 23-November 21 April 20 May 20 July 23 August 22 January 20 February 19 Cord. A peer is going to do some- Things are going to be going You could have some legal You are soon going to be able thing that will change some pretty smoothly for you over issues coming up over the to celebrate something. Lots Student. of the plans you thought you the next while. Don't hesitate next while so just be careful. of good things are going to be had finalized. You are going to treat yourself to something Nothing major but make sure coming into your life. Make Life. to have to be creative in order you've been wanting for a you have everything locked sure you enjoy all the positive to put everything back into while. A little spree may be up and don't speed. When things that are around you order. Don't hesitate to ask a just what you need to boost making any decisions make right now as they won't last it's that simple. friend for help. energy. sure you evaluate each issue forever. carefully. Luckiest day: November 9. Luckiest day: November 8. Luckiest day: November 9. Luckiest day: November 10. [email protected] NOVEMBER " fJB "'% v jlF "The Manor, my 10- 15™ ravovrfie €tub m Featuring Cm€Bt/a" competing . - ' T «L all week! Jppijfc J W ' • . oZ"w°tT*hirt i *b ..P*. V i HMOflL , I contest is still '*lW |M* JI ]&. / Of» every / Mf '*-«/ J*| , fg^ A 1 II / Mmmf R°N JEREMY I 9 Jk ADULT ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX / OM GUELPH r J X f JL APN 211 SILVERCREEK PKWY. S.f FOR THE STANDARD AUIJI^ENTERTAINMENT wwWa mmoHive JCOm_J|36z1360MMiM Wednesday November 5,2003 Sports 23 Revenge is best served cold One of those touchdowns Laurier football history. gave Queen's an early lead in Two pass interference the second quarter as calls brought the Hawks into Denison hooked up with lan Queen's territory. Then Ryan. Fleming for a 25-yard touch- Pyear found his seemingly down strike to give Queens a two favourite targets. First 10-7 edge. he hooked up with Andrew In the second half, the Agro to bring the Hawks DEREK IWANUK Queen's Golden Gaels came down the Queen's 25-yard Sports Editor out firing-. Denison was con- line. Then he found first year necting with all of his standout Andrew Baeehler When the dust settles and the receivers and eventually the for a 17-yard touchdown season is finally over with. Gaels found themselves down strike in the end zone to tie Golden Hawks football fans on the four-yard line. Queen's the game 24-24, The Hawks will be talking about running back Bryan held a desperate Queen's Saturday's semifinal win over Crawford pounded the ball in attack late in the fourth and Queen's for a long time. The for a 17- 14 Queens lead. went into overtime. Hawks produced another The lead grew to ten late Being* the visiting team, miracle and came back from in the third quarter as the Hawks found themselves a ten-point deficit to beat the Denison hcoked up with with the ball on the Queen's Laurier Athletics Queen's Golden Gaels 36 - 33 Craig Spear three times to 35-yard line. After a big run in the second overtime to bring the ball to the Laurier by OJ "Juice" Tasse, the Ryan Pyear threw four touchdown passes, two to Joel Wright advance to the Yates Cup one-yard line. Fullback Mike Hawks looked poised to win (center) in a 36 - 33 victory over Queen's in the OUA semifinals final on Saturday in Hendry pushed the ball over the game on an easy field Hamilton. the goal line and give goal. true as Demson connected the Yates Cup filial. Ryan Fyear was the star Queen's a commanding ten. Laurier kicker Brian with his favourite target After the game, a collec- shining- brightest on point lead. Devlin lined up for a field Craig 1 Spear on a nine-yard tive Laurier Men's Football Saturday, as he hooked up Until about four minutes goal, and then, in a moment touchdown pass to tie the Coach Gary Jeffries described with Joel Wright twice. The left in the game, the Hawks of pure strangeness, the field game. However, in another the emotions he felt in the first touchdown pass came offense looked flat. The goal was blocked. However, strange turn of events, final moments of the game; early in the first quarter defense, led by seniors Josh the bail landed squarely in Queen's kicker Chris Napoli "The only thing I was think- when Pyear found Wright in Alexander and Justin the hands of Devlin,, who seemed to stumble and barely ing about was how fast I the end zone to give the Shakell kept the Hawks in passed the ball to Bryon get the kick off. The kick was could get to Joel Wright and Hawks an early 7-0 lead. the game by containing Hickey who ran the ball blocked by Laurier and the the rest of the kids. It was However, it took a lot more Denison late in the second down to the Queen's one-yard Hawks had new life. absolute elation, and certain- then seven points to defeat half. line. Nick Cameron punched The Hawks' defense held ly a relief that we won," Tommy Denison and compa- Finally, the Hawks offense the ball in for a one yard strong, limiting any real The next test for the ny. was rejuvenated. With only score. The Hawks missed an Denison threat and Queen's Hawks on the road to the Denison, arguably the four minutes left in the easy extra point, giving the had to settle for a field goal. Vanier Cup is the undefeated best quarterback in the CIS, fourth quarter and being- Gaels an opening* for the win This gave Queen's a slight. 38 McMaster Marauders, dismantled the Laurier sec- down by a touchdown, the on the next possession. - 30 advantage, but gave Jeffries explained some of the ondary as he threw for 390 Hawks constructed one of the On the next possession, Laurier a moment that will keys that will be necessary to yards and two touchdowns. most memorable drives in Laurier's worst fears came live in the memories of the take down the number two- Hawks and their fans for the ranked team in the CIS. "We rest of their lives. have to play a technically On the first play of the sound football game in all second possession in the sec- aspects. We can't turn it over, ond overtime, Pyear threw a we can't give a team like that bomb out to Joel Wright who any extra chances." landed with the ball on the The Yates Cup will be two-yard line, and then tip- played Saturday at 1 pin at toed his way into the end McMaster's home field. zone, as the Hawks' bench cleared and rushed out on to the field to celebrate a 36 - 33 win that now sends them to Hawks lose in final four Scoring with Scurr DAN POLISCHUK Cord Intern A disappointing 3 - 1 loss in the CIS semifinals to If it hadn't been for 15 min- Queen's Golden Gaels is a dark spot on an utes of recess in elementary otherwise school. Tammy Scurr would successful 2003 not be where she is now. season Asked one day by a fellow BERNARD DAWSON but it was not enough. relatively even between the peer to play soccer with a Staff Writer Laurier had suffered a 3-1 teams, Laurier was unable to group of people, the game defeat and there would be no score. Scoring was not a just seemed to stick. The WLU Women's soccer shot at the national title. problem for the Mustangs Since that day in grade team's OUA playoff run was and Western took OUA four, she has gone to achieve rudely ended this past week- Bronze with a 3-0 victory. All-Canadian status, as well end at the University of Laurier 1 Queen's 3 While the season may as most recently being* named Western Ontario. The Golden have on note QUA and CIS athlete of the ended a sour for Laurier Athletics Hawks had the chance to On Sunday, Golden Hawks the Lady Hawks, the team week and most recently being- keep their playoff run alive matched up against their has many things to be proud named to the OUA All-Star Scurr led the Hawks to the 2003 and to contend for the CIS rivals from Western in a of. Captain Tammy Scurr had team. final four this season. Championship, but it was not showdown for OUA Bronze. another great year and Surprisingly, soccer is not to be. With neither team having' a should be in line for a num- Tammy's first sport. She is ing' the players, getting them The Lady Hawks advanced shot at the CIS ber of end of year awards. also an avid softball player, energized for every game, as to the OUA final four with a Championships, the game It was also a successful representing' Ontario in the well as demonstrating her pair of exciting wins over the was mainly for pride and year for the squad as a whole. Canada Summer Gaines. But passion through hard work. University of Toronto and revenge. The Mustangs had A 5-3-3 regular season was when commenting on her Scurr best exemplifies this York University but lady beaten the Hawks badly in followed by a thrilling run to passion of soccer, Scurr said, when asked about what luck resided on the other side both of their previous the OUA final four. Big* "I just love everything about motto she would use to of the field. A 3-1 loss to encounters this season. thing's will be expected from the game." describe her life. "Pain is tem- Queen's and a 3-0 setback The battle for OUA Bronze the Lady Hawks next season When asked about who porary, success is forever," against Western ended the would, be iK) different, much as the team will look to build, has influenced her most. said Scurr. Golden Hawks' season. to the disappointment of the on the successful season Tammy easily replies, "My This being her last year of On Saturday. Laurier went Hawks, While the play was which just ended. coaches for sure. They have eligibility for playing soccer toe to toe with a tough been really great, influencing' at the OUA level. Tammy Queen's squad. With a spot- in me to succeed the way that I hopes to make the most of it. the CIS Championships on have." When posed with the ques- the line, the Hawks were As team captain of the soc- tion whether she would pur- toreed to watch as the Golden cer squad this year, Scurr sue playing on the national Gaels dominated the first commented that she got the level, Scurr replied. "If given half. Queen's opened the scor- team, together before the the opportunity, I would" defi- ing early in the first half and beginning' of the season to set nitely want to represent added a second goal moments their goals for the season, Canada." before the first half came to wanting to redeem them- So if ever in the future the an end. selves after a disappointing name Tammy Scurr and the Down 2-0 when the second loss in the playoffs last year. word soccer arise together half began, the Hawks fell "Losing to Queen's last year either in the newspaper or on lei behind 1-0 was especially tough, television, it will no n i when the doubt olden especially since we scored on mean that she is still i Gaels scored again. Laurier would not go away ourselves" said Scurr, refer- excelling at the sport she quietly and the Hawks were Laurier Athletics ring to the own goal that loves for all its worth. This is rewarded late in the half, caused the loss. one athlete that truly plays ftookie Sara Shannon found The Hawks ended the season on a sour note losing 3-1 to Queen's Another way she utilizes for love of the game. he back of the Queen's net in the semifinals of the CIS soccer championship. her role as captain is motivat- Sports 24 Wednesday November 5 ?nm Hawks tip off season with win and MeGrath, the Lady the game. When Waterloo The Laurier Women's Basketball team begins season with Hawks went on a 23 to 7 run looked like they were set to that allowed themselves some make a run. Dee Channel- a win over their crosstown rivals, the Waterloo Warriors breathing room. Laurier was able to come off the came out of the locker room bench with fresh energy and looking focussed and hungry used her ability to draw to push the hall since we're a opportunities to open up an fouls DANIEL WILSON to win. With some excellent in order to lead, a number neutralize a Cord Sports running team," Channer early of good ball movement the Hawks Warrior comeback. explained, "Once we did looks were misfired. After that, finally dictated the tempo of The Golden Hawk Women's we were fine," Channer also being silenced for much of Basketball Team opened up observed that the Hawks the opening- half. Guard the 2003-2004 regular sea- defensively had to be alert of Meaghan MeGrath found her son at home against the a potential Warrior threat. rhythm and ended up with Waterloo Warriors on "We knew we had to keep 12 points. The 2002-03 QUA Wednesday October 29, Julie Devenny under control Bookie of the Year and CIS Coining off a 14 win season since she's their top scorer. Rookie Team member shot 4 and their first playoff appear- Other than her, they don't for 11 from three-point terri- ance in years, Coach. Julius' have too many options." tory. Hawks have lofty expecta- Despite a few breakdowns, tions. With a. 70-51 victory On a night when the the Laurier defense looked against their uptown rivals, very impressive, They were the Lady Hawks kicked off team only shot able to hold Waterloo's pri- the season in fine fashion. 32.8% from the mary scoring- threat. Post After a- preseason that saw Julie Devenny, to only 10 the team post a 2 and 4 field, the points. The in-your-face record. the women s contribution by the Hawk defense smothered Basketball team were eager Devenny and forced her to to usher in the new season Laurier front court shoot 2 of 8 from the floor. against their fa,miliar divi- The team also used an sion rivals, The exhibition made the difference. effective full-court press schedule saw Laurier face strategy at a, number of junc- Cassovia, Club (Slovakia's On a night when the team tures in the game. It was under-19 National team), only shot 32.8 % from the Point Guard Nicole Tisdale Brandon and Dae men College field, it was the solid contri- who was the lone bright spot of New York, bution by the Laurier front- in the nigiit for the Warriors. Dubbed "The Battle of court that proved to be the She led the team with 14 Waterloo," this game lived up difference. Post Robin Roszell points and logged a game to its name in the first half had a very strong game with high 34 minutes. with Laurier entering the 14 points and a game-high 9 Tisdale must hare earned break with a narrow 29-28 rebounds. Dee Channer led the respect of her opponents advantage, However, the sec- all scorers with 16 points and early since she was double ond half was a, completely added 5 hoards. Twelve of teamed, which evoked an different story as the Hawks those points were earned at angry response from Golden shook off the rust and badly the foul line where she shot a Hawk coach Stu Julius, outseored Waterloo 41-23. healthy 30 %. Despite the lack of flow Asked what changed in The normally high octane and sloppiness on both ends, the second half, Forward Dee Golden Hawk offense had dif- the game really picked up Laurier Athletics their at in the second half. With Charmer saw two crucial ele- ficulty making' shots early Point Guard Kerri Jilesen drives to the basket. The Hawks dominat- ments that helped Laurier different intervals in the a unit comprised of Williams. cruise to the victory. "We like game. Despite abundant Roszell, Jilesen, Zagorski ed the Waterloo Warriors 70-51 in the 2003 season opener. Lacrosse advances Volleyball wins MIKE BROWN Erica, Howard was told she team on the strength of a Cord sports was being substituted for. dominant second half. The 2003 opener Howard shouted back to the Golden Hawks hope for a The Golden Hawks Women's bench, requesting- to finish similar result this weekend, Lacrosse team advanced to the play. She quickly did just but it will require a stronger RICH KAWAMOTO nomenon Danielle Walker the QUA semi-finals this past that, scoring* shortly there- performance than they put Cord Sports who impressed everyone in Saturday with a dominant after to begin the Hawks' sec- forth against McGill, attendance with her stun- 10-5 victory over Bth seeded ond half scoring. Although acknowledging Good teams come back hard ning defense and her timely McGill in front of a small Throughout the match, that her team played down to after a loss. Great teams kills. Walker, coming in. as a crowd at University Stadium. Laurier's relaxed style of play McGill's level. perhaps as a come back with authority. first year starter, has shown Despite not playing their best reflected the stark contrast result of their inexperience That's exactly what the her maturity and poise on game, Laurier took a com- between their undefeated 10- (over half the team's roster women's volleyball team not the court all season long and manding' lead in the first half Q regular season record and are in their first or second only needed to do, but it's is not afraid to step up when and fell back into a defensive that of the outclassed 8-7 year), Lynn Ortfa remained what they had to do. After necessary. style of play for the game's McGill squad. upbeat about her team's dropping- two straight "I didn't really play well duration. In a much slower second chances. matches to Guelph and versus Broek but I was real- there The game was delayed hall , the Golden Hawks mere- In her six years of coach- Brock last week, the Hawks ly aggressive out about a half hour due to ly traded goals with McGill ing at Laurier, Orth has came out on Saturday after- today," said the first year incorrectly drawn lines, but en route to the 10-5 victory. guided the Golden Hawks to noon to give the Windsor Kinesiology student. "But as the Laurier squad seemed The Laurier attack was paced one QUA championship, in Lancers a preview of what a team, we spent our prac- unaffected by the annoyance. by Erica Howard, who scored 2000. When asked how this the rest of the OUA will fear tices talking about not pan- They pressured McGill's three goals. Petrice Cavar, year's team stacks up, she for the rest of the season. icking throughout the defence and kept the action Galanakis and Cheryl Hooper emphatically states, "This is The Hawks took the match match and I feel as if we did concentrated in their offen- each added two, and rookie the best team I've ever in a convincing three a good job at that today. sive end for much of the first Jenna McCoubrey scored one. coached.' 5 At this point, straight sets and pulled We're definitely going in the half. The Hawks' pressure With the win, Laurier Laurier s undefeated record themselves back to 2-2 for right direction" paid off at the five-minute earned the chance to play the makes it hard to argue. the season. Coach mark when Laurier netted two-time defending OUA The OUA finals will be "We needed Mclntyre was their first goal, which was champs, the Toronto Blues, at held at 2:00 this Sunday at that win today." In a match where eager to spread followed by four more unan- noon on Saturday. November University Stadium. The noted Hawks lost the compli- Laurier never & swered to stake the Golden 8 th. Toronto defeated the finals will feature the winner Head coach, nt en t Hawks to a commanding- 5-0 McMaster Marauders in a of the Laurier-Toronto game Dave Mclntyre. the lead, the throughout his lead. tight 6-5 match to claim their against the victor from the "We rebounded entire team. Finally, with three min- own place in the semis. other semi-final, which pits really well Hawks punished "Our service utes remaining in the first In the teams' only meeting the' Brock Badgers against from the previ- the Lancers with reception has half, the McGill offense this year (Oct. 5 in Toronto), the Queens Golden Gaels, to ous two losses improved from solved 3rd year Laurier net- Laurier notched a 12-5 win be played at 2:00 this and they pulled their power in the our last match minder Tamara Watt to crawl against a depleted Toronto Saturday. together and frontcourt. and our setter back within four. Laurier were very con- Laura Horner answered quickly, though, to fident." did a fantastic re-establish the five-goal In a match where Laurier job in her set selection. She lead. Despite a second goal never lost the lead, the moved the ball really well." from the McGill offence, Hawks punished the Lancers Mclntyre is looking- posi- Laurier had control of the with their power in the front tively toward the remainder game at the end of the half, court. Leading- the offensive of the season. as Kat Galanakis added the brigade was middle hitter "As long- as we maintain seventh Hawks' tally while Amy Shipway who was a our confidence and we con- being' knocked to the turf. threat both offensively and tinue to make good deci- The Golden Hawks' strate- defensively. Shipway was sions. we're going- to be just gy for the second half was quick to credit the entire fine. It's just a matter of clear - to merely protect their team, for their efforts. staying positive." lead. Many second stringers "That was how our team And if Saturday's match saw action as coach Lynn can and should be playing- was any indication of what Orth seized the opportunity all the time," commented the we can expect from the to rest some of the starters. third year Kinesiology stu- Hawks for the next 14 An amusing incident dent. "We didn't let up the match, they're in mighty occurred near the beginning* entire match and never good shape. of the second half, which typ- assumed that we had it ified the relaxed atmosphere Laurier Athletics won," surrounding the Golden Adding* to the offensive Hawks women, when rookie The Laurier Golden Hawks lacrosse team rolls into the final four. onslaught was young- phe- wmNFsnAY November 5. 2003 Sports 25 B-man vs Gretzky? THE CORD WEEKLY says: good start and going into fan is tough. At an early age Bernard's game six in the City of you have to get use to your Beefs Angels, the good guys held heart being- broken or else a 3-2 series lead. The game you'll go mad. I can sympa- Sports. was war with both sides thize with the fans of the Write Cord locked in a titanic struggle. Chicago Cubs and the Red Bernard Wendel Clark hit the back of Sox. Please. Thank Yoij. Dawson the net three times for the In fact I'm hoping for the Maple Leafs in a heroic per- Cubs/Sox World Series formance, but the night was match up. Because if one of [email protected] I still hate Wayne Gretzky. spoiled by Wayne Gretzky. those luckless teams can Maybe hate is too strong a At the end of 60 minutes capture the World Series, word, and well it is kind of the game was tied and this then there is still hope for hard to hate a Canadian. war went into overtime. The my Maple Leafs. And maybe Well lets just say that I've extra period progressed this will be the year that a never forgiven Wayne until Doug Gilmour was Maple Leaf gets to hold Lord Gretzky for 1993. struck by the stick of one Stanley's Cup high above Ah yes 1993. the good ole Wayne Gretzky. Even their head. Go Leafs Go. days of hockey. Scoring- was up. the Morris division still existed, the NHL was with- out a team named after a jmJ series of awful Disney It Zintyjl f movies. And Toronto Maple VJite'fulziu C jin^^uduu4i were robbed Leafs of the L'J L'jzul ' Stanley Cup by Wayne W ul C'mrialk: '"bleeping* Gretzky, If- "p | The spring of 1993 was a f : 1 [ ~: - : ""U 9 ? ' •' *! \ k l 4 » & Ld *LV i 4 special time to be in Toronto. s» * I I .sfe®"VW a? »VVs8 »Wb > € • , ««f ® . **** » » » j 4 fe? . The Blue Jays were just ■ Y * M I «8»k W * It's a Sale wmmmm* Everyday @ PASS IO NAT E HOURS Photo Contest M°n: i pm-6pm Jues-Thurs: 10 am-7pm IpaHl Fri: ioam-Bpm Take any photo that shows |g»HI 112 ioam-6pm Passion Sal Sun: i2pm-spm and you can win a Photo Development Package gH| 40G (7200 rpm) $69 80G (7200 rpm) The deadline for submissions is November 14, 2003 Send photos 52XCDRW $49 I)Electronically to photosclublaurier.ca 4XDVD+/-RW $169 or 2) Personally deliver to Sudent Publications (3rd floor FNCC) www.bestekpc.cs . 69 St. IMIPARTY KW: Lodge° November 22 cnappyphoto 883-8488 7pm @ Waterloo & Camb: 449 King St. can 653-3940 3 7, 6 -VoT/ COPY for registrati '"' 653-3940 I I 247 KING ST. N AT UNIVERSITY AVE WATERLOO Make every dayyourfavourite day of the week. /Y\ TUESDAY ■ WEDNESDAY ■ THURSDAY ■ FRIDAY ■ SATURDAY^l^SUNDA^^^B te; , st69 •-• -■- plus tax -1 I Me week. I o/ M i ■ I a I V I ■ fl -laeBsw fl Double MOuarter Pounder* U m * Big**"'® MrChi cken® m 2 Filet-O-Fish® -,ith «> B M RjqXtra Cheeseburg— rh 00 M 26 Entertainment Wednesday November 5.2(Kn Students explode...musically Music Explosion was the place to check out new bands and mock the horribly drunk CHRIS CLEMENS In a noticeable improve- Entertainment Editor ment from last year's organi- zation. the first of four bands Who knew? Wilfrid Laurier took the stage right on students have real musical schedule. Bearing the title talent and I'm not just talk- Look What You Did, the four- ing' about concert hall materi- piece rock act roared out of al. On a Thursday night that the gates with an instrumen- bore the weight of an omi- tal jam, complete with tam- nously looming- Halloween, bourine madness. The per- Radiolaurier's heavily pro- cussionist was really some- moted Music Explosion event thing else, pouring* his heart was a-rockin' at Wilt's for the and soul into that tam- pleasure of those seeking' an bourine with admirable gusto alternative to the thumping and finally throwing' it to the Club Beatz of the Turret ground in a fit of Cobain-like above. As the first of three destructive emotion at the preliminary rounds this year end of the song. Sadly that will ultimately see enough he faded to the back- Laurier's champion compete ground for much of the against other schools for a remaining set and was large- shot at some fame and possi- ly replaced by flat vocals that ble bling-blmg', last week's did little to enhance the show predicts good times band's chemistry. Look What Kat Lourenco ahead. You Did's set had its Music Explosion is the moments but failed to rouse Live to Air busts out mad rhymes during a crowd-pleasing jam session performance at Music Explosion vamped-up and blandly the audience, which was still renamed successor to last in preliminary stages of mic-swinging and power- clearly came from different year's Battle of the Bands, drunkenness. chord style fits a cliche that musical backgrounds and yet likely re-branded to accom- Shortly following was looks to be the new grunge - combined their efforts modate music that doesn't pop-punk band Rock Radio, people are getting burnt out unselfishly. I knew they had really fit under the "band" who brought their very own on stereotypical pop-punk. won before their first song' label. The event maintains its mercli table and rock-out Finishing on an especially was done. charitable roots, however, entourage along to Wilf's. strong note with some That said and done, I felt a with proceeds going' to global These guys, who were unfor- Thursday-like screaming, little sorry for final act Kid group WUSC. Brick Beer's tunately and detrimentally Rock Radio is a promising Gib. Another formulaic punk role as Music Explosion's cor- introduced as coming from a new band that is unfortu- band. Kid Gib had all the pre- porate beneficiary was obvi- "hard-knock life" by a nately stuck in a declining requisite jumping and witty ously showcased through Radiolaurier rep, showed lots trend. banter between songs but advertising and the sight of of energy on stage. were playing for a drastically heavily intoxicated girls face- Featuring strong vocals and reduced audience. A definite planting through tables with especially good synchroniza- He poured his heart highlight was watching a Brick Stubbies in hand. The tion between the lead and and soul into the guitar player power-jump evening's big winners were backup singers, Rock Radio over the stage railing onto even invited to tour Brick's was clearly talented. tambourine with the floor and immediately be facilities as a prize. However, their emo lyricism. admirable gusto and chastised by event organiz- ers. Can you blame him for threw it to the ground trying to add something in a fit of Cobain-like exciting- to his show? Oh Kat Lourenco yeah, they also broke the rail- destructive emotion ing somehow before they fin- Look What You Did's Kurt Cobain ished up. A quality band with of edgy tambourine playing an unfortunate place in the Hitting the stage next was line-up. Live to Air, probably the most As expected, the chants of anticipated act of the night. '"Live-To-Air!" from a horde of When a band wows you with enthusiastic fans foreshad- their sound cheek, you know owed that group's win, and they came to kick ass. Live To they went back on stage for Air's show is by far the most fifteen minutes of encore. difficult to describe, blending They were a little self-indul- an incredibly wide range of gent and called on a break- styles and talents into a per- dancer whose shoes flew off formance that mixes guitars, and hit innocent bystanders, turntables, beat-boxing- and a but repeatedly gave respect to diverse range of vocalism. their fallen competitors in a Taking cues and samples show of magnanimous from popular musicians such enthusiasm. Music Explosion as P. Diddy, Jack Johnson, was a well run event with a Pink Floyd and Bob Marley, worthy victor and everyone Live to Air possessed the went home happy, even the drunk who Kat Lourenco compelling* on-stage presence girls fell through Kat Lourenco of a jam-band and the dynam- the table. Rock Radio poses seductively in front of Brick Beer's subtle adver- ic flow and improvisation of A member of Live to Air strums tising, which molested event attendees to the point of drunkenness battle-rappers. Each member out a saucy Jack Johnson cover Retailer tantrums target Stones Childish backlashes to this shoot yourself in the foot, A reaction to corporate boycotting of the Rolling Stones new lower-priced trend aren't capitalistic HMV, Music helping'. World and Sunrise Records. and on the album Now. instead of walking This counterattack at possible effects future of pricing into any of the major music artists and record labels is retailers to buy a Stones' not exclusive to The Stories. Cord Stones' new four disk DVD similarly wide ranges in Consumers are going* to see a Entertainment set has caused outrage with price for multiple DVD sets at similar move when John major Canadian music retail- Music World and Sunrise. Of Why can't a band Mellencamp's DVD is ers. In response to being- course, no one knows what released, later this year. locked out of this market, price the Four Flicks DVD attempt to make Pretty soon instead of spe- HMV. Music World and would retail for at any of changes in album cializing- in bringing - con- Amy Sunrise Records have decided these retailers, not even after sumers a wide selection of Rogers to pull all Rolling' Stones the deal expires in February pricing to eliminate retail entertainment at merchandise off their shelves of next year. some of the affordable cost, lost revenue in a corporate hissy fit just in Why can't a band seek to from pulling- big' name artists With the music industry's time for Christmas. deliver music and entertain- pirating problem? off the shelves will make the slumping* sales and barrage With this deal, Best Buy ment to their fans at reason- prices of remaining- stock of legal attacks on con- and Fixture Shop stores will able prices? With all of the increase, not to mention lim- sumers. it's nice to see a band be able to sell The Stones' controversy surrounding album or any number of iting their variety. care about the people they and Four Flicks for a low, low musical pirating 1, why other CDs while I'm there, I If HMV, Music World make their music for. price of just $39 .99. Compare shouldn't a band or record will immediately take my Sunrise Records want to boy- The recently announced this price with retailers like company attempt to make a business to the nearest Best cott certain artists, I say we deal that gives Best Buy and HMV. where a four-disc DVD change in how music is Buy or Future Shop, know- boycott the retailers. See how Future Shop exclusive sell- set ranges in price from priced to perhaps eliminate ing that what I want to pur- you like that, corporate con- ing rights to The Rolling $52.51 to $219.98. There are some of the problem? chase will be there. Way to glomerates. Wfdnesday N()Vi3ißtjL5L2003 Entertainment 27 RADIO LAURIER Top 5 Charts Top 5 New Artists 1 * Glasseater Everything Is Beautiful When You Don't Look Down Victory Jim Bryson Orange 2 n1 l/c/o* 1 The North s.de sencties Record Label 3 n/a 1 Silverstein When Broken Is Easily Fixed Victory A n/a 1 Hellacoptors 8ytl»Grao« c n /„ Pilate Caught By The Window Universal Contributed Photo Top 5 Punk Artists I don't know about you guys, but police brutality against the disabled makes me a little weepy-eyed * n /o * Taking Back Sunday Tell All YourFriends Victory Respect for Radio 2 n/a Brand New The viewer left 'assum- posed to be heartwarming-. 3 ll/cln/a 1 ent. is 1 De j© Eniendu Triple Crown ing' that what has been pre- Certainly it should leave the sented to them on the screen viewer a little bit empowered a n /a 1 The Weakerthans^fgJ is really the 'truth' with little and cheery, but perhaps it Reconstruction She Epitaph or no interference from should not have contained so Moneen 5 n/a Hollywood. In reality, film is much drivel-based nonsense. 1 Are We Realty Happy With Who We Are Right Now? Small Man generally the complete oppo- As Radio progressed, I got site: primarily a 'filler' that the suspicious feeling that Artists reflects mainstream maybe, just maybe, Gooding, Top 5 Hip Hop American values (damn you Jr. was fishing* for some- Yankees!) with little or no thing. I don't know, possibly truth. On the other hand, for another Oscar? But that is not to say that we nonetheless, he did an amaz- i „/o 4 Various Artists ERIC CHOW the job of portraying the God Roots |Holy H II Cord Entertainment should entirely doubt ing realism of this particular film mentally challenged Radio. ? n/a <\ Rochester There were some instances Radio is centered around the or take anything- away from The Awakening Foundation the triumphs of the 'real where one truly forgets that true story of a decade-long* «. Radio'. All truths aside, we it is merely Gooding. Jr. on 3 n /,-, Black Eyed Peas relationship between a well- Elephunk Interscope go to this The director did a respected high school foot- secretly watch film the screen. so that we can use up the commendable job, particular- !$(§* ball coach and a mentally 4 M/Cln/a 11 extra Kleenex that we in the opening of One word Extinguisher Warp Records challenged man. The film had ly scene, over from last winter. creating a sense of attach- begins showing the dis- left Mars by ment to the characters and 5 n/a 1 dain and fear of a community Backbreakanomics Gotee challenged man Who should you see it with? thus inspired sympathy towards the too bad Radio. This was pri- Radio (Gooding, Jr.), who Jerry Maguire... he's towards a But serious- Top 5 Miscellaneous Artists later the only character. marily done through good befriends 'leg- work, cut- endary' Coach Jones (Harris). ly, you should go by yourself camera angles and The progresses by show- - you don't want your friends ting. Overall, Radio was a film be amazing act- ing the trials and tribulations to able to see you crying- great film with like the big baby you are. ing and cinematography. of Radio and what he must 1 n'a 1 in to wu BMG overcome order gain not " ~ Take Cheeky Fact the sympathy, but rather the My ZZ Richard Ashcroft This film was truly heart- Did you know that during i M/Cl 1 respect and trust, of the -• . Virgin * the whole community despite his wrenching and *Sob* Sniff* the conclusion of filming stop ■a „ /0 * The Strokes mental drawbacks. teary-eyed. I still can't of the highway scene in Rat J n/a 1 weeping. You cannot help but Race, many motorists were Room On Fire RCA have a certain numbing rubbernecking to see the a Dido Academic Value nrl/ci/o 11 The concept of realism film tingly feeling when watching stars. Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lrfe For Ft*?. Arista in as the film- is often explored and for that this movie but you contin- exhausted from all ue watching, you get an ing, decided to have some fun q n/o a The Wannadies matter, always debated and Before and After Int Records questioned. In regards to the underlying sense of the cine- by 'mooning' the motorists a over- film Radio, this is no differ- matics going little driving by. board. Yes, this film is sup- t (VELUTii * k./£VO: B ill VH I* I Kin I J II I M i [ I I L*l* 1 ■ k\'T*l'l* I iH I HEAR SAY | HmS^HShKHiffl I arbor said tliey would, but thing's What makes Room on Fire have changed... a little. The great is its deft ability to fil- Join us for our Open House for prospective graduate and summer "garage rock" scene (making ter thirty years of rock into a students. "real" rock music that really stream li ned retro-pop pack- rocks!) was not the second age. "Under Control" sounds Potential areas of research: it the grunge movement like like grew up in shad- > Molecular Genetics of Cancers Rolling Stone purported. In ows of Motown and. "12:51" is > Cellular & Molecular Biology fact, The Strokes ended up new-wave dance floor materi- > & being superceded as the pio- al. The best example is "The Medical Physics Imaging neers of nu-garage by the Way It Is" which begins with > Molecular & Structural Biology even less excitable White an BQ's hair-metal lick (a la & Stripes. Guns Roses) but with a When? Saturday, November 15, 2003, from 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Thus, the machine of hype funk drum beat and a syn- with a welcome presentation at 10:00 a.m. has been the nemesis of The thesizer sound straight from Strokes since Is This It? came a seventies pop tune. Where? Ontario Cancer Institute/Princess Margaret Hospital out in 2001. How can you fol- Unlike Nirvana, the last th low up on an album that was "Saviours of Rock and Roll" (OCI/PMH), 610 University Avenue, 7 Floor Atrium, Toronto, Ont. hailed as the beginning of a who released a followup revolution, when the revolu- album to Nevermind that Visit the various booths set up by labs, meet Professors, Post- tion ended up being a disa- sounded much the same, the Doctoral Fellows and Graduate Students for informal discussions, pointment? Strokes have gotten better and tour the research facilities. Damned if I know, but the and even hint that they may Strokes certainly do. Room on get better in the future. They Fire is better than Is This It? realize that the hype machine For more information, please visit our website at It turns out The Strokes may be roaring in this mod- http://medbio.utoronto.ca knew what made them so ern age but they're ready for good and the music critics the battle. In fact, the album's Free Admission * Free Lunch * On-Site Registration with ga-ga eyes didn't have a last words are "Hold on / Yes, clue. They rip off music, rein- I'll be right back." Sponsored by the Dept of Medical Biophysics at the University of The Strokes may not have terpret it their own way. Yes, you with the shaggy hair and Chad McCordic Toronto in conjunction with the Research Divisions of OCI/PMH and the revolutionized the sonic land- Sunnybrook & Women's College Health Sciences Centre scape of our culture the way faux retro jeans, you heard the giggly Brit music press me, they rip off music. 28 Entertainment Wednesday November 5,2003 Popular legend Bring on the Payne again Fans of the first game Rod Roddy dead will have no problem reset- tling into the world of Max Payne, Rookies, however, MIKE BORRELLI gameshow, "Come on down!" Staff Writer contest- should play through the which he hollered to original game beforehand to ants that were chosen from The September 11th tragedy the studio audience, Roddy get the appropriate back- struck last week when ground knowledge and again had been working with the story. God beckoned Rod Roddy, the show while ill for the past legendary voice of the Price two Upon initial inspection, years. the gameplay has not Is Right gameshow, to "Come Roddy's career as an on down" to heaven after the changed a great deal from announcer began in 1981 the first and the announcer lost a battle with with Love and Max Payne Connection graphical enhancements colon and breast cancer. continued with Press Your Roddy's battle with the dead- seemed subpar at best. In Luck until 1986. when he terms of aesthetics, the char- ly diseases began on Sept. 11. The is started with Price acter models have all had 2001 when Roddy underwent Right. Much like Roddy's colon cancer surgery. makeovers, giving- them a longtime co-worker and more authentic and gritty Roddy's age was unknown, host Bob Price is Right look. After a more but he was believed have in-depth to Barker requests that viewers look at the game, however, been 86. cats, KYLE FRANCIS spay or neuter their Cord Entertainment one can see the tweaks made Roddy, whose real name Roddy warned men to get was to the engine that make for Robert Ray Roddy, was colonscopies and mammo- As a film student, I was ini- much more exciting play. born in 1937 Fort his in Worth, grams after diagnosis tially drawn to Max Payne's On at least two occasions Texas, and had been with The cancers. with the sophomore video game sim- user into shoes Contributed Photo Price the is put the is Right for 17 years. "It can happen to men because of its title. Max love His flashy ply of Max's femme fatale Max Payne is going to shove this wardrobe and dis- too," Roddy advised, refer- Payne II: The Fall Max a made him a of interest, Mona, giving you pistol somewhere... tinctive voice fan ring to the breast cancer that Payne, A Film Noir Love break from Max's greasy favourite, and he will be best resulted in his left breast Story, takes the original hair and leather coat for a rotation as he flies through remembered for his identify- being removed. game's blend of John Woo- limber visually window. of this the more and the All takes ing catch-phrase from esque action sequences with pleasing Lara Croft-like place in smooth, crisp slow a Humphrey Boga.it detec- leading lady. motion. The game's 'Bullet tive story flavour, and adds a The best addition to the Time' feature allows Max to tragic love story. game is certainly the elabo- slow down time, making The plot picks up shortly rate physics engine. Let me these scenarios possible and after the end of the first illustrate a scenario for you. giving the user better con- game as familiar characters You run into a room, turn, trol over combat. begin to resurface and Max, knock the enemy to your For returning fans, the once again, must fill the roll right over the kitchen table game does not offer a great of the tragic hero and go which lie brings down in a deal of improvement but outside the boundaries of crash ofpots and pans. Then then again,, it's tough to society to unearth a conspir- you turn and blast the improve on the superb for- acy to have him assassinat- enemy to your left in the mula . used in the original ed. shoulder and he spins a full Max Payne THE FACULTY OF ARTS TEACHING AWARD The annual Faculty of Arts Teaching ScholarAward recognizes the teaching excellence of our faculty members and affirms the importance of teaching in the Faculty's distinctive mission Rationale The vital mission of a Faculty of Arts is to pass on to the next generation the critical spirit, intellectual and creative attainments, and scholarly methods of our past, as well as new and emerging variations upon those academic traditions. Good teaching and good scholarship are inextricably linked. Demonstrated excellence in emphasizing this connection will be the central criterion for determining the Faculty of Arts Teaching Scholar Award. manipulated by Chris Clemens The Teaching Scholar Award will honour a faculty member who integrates explicitly and Heaven seems to be getting a little bit crowded after admitting Rod creatively the profession's twin functions of scholarly research and teaching. The Award will accordingly be granted to someone who has made successful efforts to identify and develop the pedagogical means by which this integration can be especially well achieved. Process Faculty, staff or students can submit nominations. A nomination for the award should comprise "See 1 try to look up to the sfzw but my eyes hum two elements. First, it should provide a curriculum vitae confirming that the nominee has made Cloud come shove tfie sun aside' ongoing contributions to his/her disciplinary or mufti-disciplinary field(s) of specialization. Second, the nomination should provide strong, concrete evidence of the nominee's Do you know these seasonally irrelevant lyrics? Sing them in extraordinary efforts and accomplishments in pedagogical theory and/or practice in integrating the shower perhaps? Be the first to send an email with the the fields of research and teaching. A nomination dossier, of no more than 25 pages, could song and artist name to [email protected] and I'll put your name in the next issue, plus you'll get a CD that comprise any of the following: none of us want evidence - e.g., excerpts from the nominee's syllabi or other; Last week: - etc. if Brent Leonard guessed that the lyrics were from +authored documents textbooks, learning materials, articles, conference papers, Propagandhi's one-minute vegan anthem "Nailing Descartes these identify or demonstrate the ways in which the nominee has successfully aimed to the Wall / (Liquid) Meat is Still Murder". It almost takes at integrating scholarship and pedagogy; longer to say that than to listen to the song-... hah hah hah. Oh yeah, he gets free Scary Movie 3 tickets for his prize. written testimonials from colleagues or staff here or elsewhere, and from past and present students, about the nominee's successful integration of scholarship and - Cfiris, (Entertainment (Editor teaching; results of official and/or informal student ratings or course evaluations a written statement by the nominee. Nominations should be submitted to the Dean of Arts, who will chair a Faculty of Arts Teaching Scholar Award Committee comprising three faculty members (including two previous Teaching Award winners) and two students (chosen by the student caucus of the Arts Council). In 1993 an English man was arrested and sen- time tenced to 18 months in jail for having sex with a The deadline for nominations is November 28th, 2003. The winner will be announced in will be paved surface. for the FOA Awards Ceremony in late January. A $1,000 donation in the winner's name Two years later he was put on probation for sim- made to the University or Faculty prize, award or fund of his/her choice. ulating public sex with a garbage bag. - NOVEMBER 28TH, 2003 What the hell? Maybe he couldn't find adequate- I ; J DEADLINE ly sized potholes the second time around. \ _*_/ ' VOTE!! I T "/££\ Municipal fMon: i ib Roar's! 2)e<^ Nov. 12,2003 6nmtr ; I Residents Students: [) eCem })er 3] 2003 in tllC W ! " NtW. Hours Or Gff-Campus: . 11l I Buses leave from the 1 Up 3110111 lird Underpajj hourly ,|(U| ffl y g. f[| j ft{ . j io Kegisrer you neea. ( } lfl( yei en ji;r B jnmfn lb thee lo 1 Sunday, Monday and Friday • . 16:30pm 2:45am OHf picte of doaimerWon [Oil 1111afek A @ 180ml led. I luejdav Wednesday (pfllw'fc *« sft 0 M ■«« MOW ill fill 111 J Thursday, Saturday l.Simtß STUDENTS 112 OK/LITERACY / •% * ——_ , IAI , 112 RAFFLE y ill lutn Anniversary N/ Leafs and Raptors l$OV. iHm Walk for Literacy Tickets Ha JIN November orh -prizes n ana i!°nai^ n j n In the Concourse -ACTIVITIES jj TtK^e°° In Tn% @ qo Refreshment ll:OOam . 50% of procced Walk Beings @ noon to Laurier D.RiiAS. fnn/'Ai iwtf% lOnCOUr>e -Donation to the farm ly Initiative Dominican Republic being launched by the rubl ic Library Education ana Medical Support ' • :: -- ■ r ■jr :•. -MillV 30 Classifieds Wednesday November 5.2003 Leadership Travel Opportunities MCAT, OAT, DAT, PCAT, Soap Montreal @ New Years 93 Columbia... IDlrii«| Irlfl 111! Ms * i Children's International Summer Carving Downtown Hotel and Bus. Dee. ...is the only place where you'll Villages has adult leadership travel Correspondence/self study pro- 30-Jan 1. 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FOR DETAILS CHECK $ugx 4HX!£ WEBSITES. j j j x-— .' j --• ■ • ■ " •• : ■ " • •'••• ■■• ■' • • v..- ... - ... . . •- • ~ WFnNESPAY_N^^tBroSL 2OO3__ Arts 31 Everyone wants to be found Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson travel the streets of Tokyo together, and find much more than they expect and the story, and offers itself as a vehicle for the friendship between Bob and Charlotte. Bob Harris, a semi-retired movie star, is now in his mid- 50's. He is in Japan for a week, making' two million dollars for appearing 1 as the spokesman for a whiskey ad. Left at home are a wife and two children, but as we learn, his twenty-five year mar- NICK CZEKURLON riage has left Bob a lost and Staff Writer unfulfilled man. Charlotte, who has just graduated from A-ring'-a-ding-ding', this Yale with a philosophy one's a winner. Writer/direc- degree, is unsure of what tor Sofia Coppola (The Virgin she's doing" with her life and Suicides) lias scored big with her husband, a worka- with her latest effort, holic photographer. She is in in Translation. Shot Japan with him for his work, Eointsost Contributed Photo entirely on location in Japan, but he is rarely present, this film shows the numer- (unwisely?) leaving Charlotte Murray gets paid the big bucks for advertising whiskey in Tokyo: and wonders Bill ous dimensions alone in her room for extend- Would YOU buy what this man is selling??? of Tokyo. Splendid images of ed periods of time. the neon nightlife are con- Bill and Charlotte, both cence. audience. It is left as a secret leave you in a state of peace- trasted alongside the serene unable to sleep and having- Their genuinely sweet and whisper from Bob to fulness. and after viewing, sights of the simplistic way trouble coping with the for- charming personalities shine Charlotte - a silent, comfort- you will be changed as well, of life that still exists outside eign culture, cross paths late through whenever they are ing- thought that leaves her holding a greater hope for the city limits. one night in the hotel bar. together, as they share the crying, yet smiling* with a your own future. Not only Coppola's story unfolds This introduction leads to a mutual comforting thought genuine sense of hope. It is a that, but after seeing the naturally, adhering to a min- blossoming, energetic friend- of being "found." They seem rare, powerful scene, espe- film, the opening line of this imalist approach to film ship that eventually finds lost in this purpose whenever cially in the absence of dia- review will seem funnier to details. We are only given full them travelling the streets of they are by themselves, sur- logue. The two are left more people than just myself. access to two characters: Bob Tokyo. Throughout the con- rounded by the loneliness of changed, both by each other You can catch Lost in Harris (Bill Murray), and quering of bars, strip clubs, a strange environment. and the environment that Translation at Princess Charlotte (Scarlett and karaoke, the mostly In the end, the future of helps them discover who they Cinema until November 18th, Johansson). The remaining drunken adventures of the their relationship is uncer- are. Check the website for times: cast provides a comedic con- two companions remain sur- tain, as the final line of the Lost in Translation is both http://princess.syntex.net. nection between the audience rounded by an air of inno- film cannot be heard by the hysterical and moving. It will Poor first effort for student A prelude to Kenneth Tam's "The Human Plath Equation" one-dimensional onscreen KIM BROWN their offer, denouncing* them Staff Writer as heathens, secretly sug- gesting' they are a final chal- When you hear the name lenge for his 'holy' warriors. Sylvia Plath, you don't think Humanity is not united; how- of sunshine and cute fluffy ever, the members of the bunnies. In fact, Sylvia Plath Genesis Navy are sympathet- could be considered an arche- ic to the Earthers, and at typal figure of the genius mid-point in the novel upset poet with dark macabre their fleet. From that point thoughts, whose life often on, an external conflict is ends in less than pleasant brought forth as the two ways- to be extremely fleets and later their ground euphemistic. This reason, THOMAS THOMPSON forces, are engaged in com- though, is why we are so fas- Special Projects Editor bat. cinated with her and all of One critic, WLU student those dark, mysterious The futility of fanaticism and Tudor Costache. has artists. hate against the forces of denounced this novel for its On November 7th at good surrounds much of the failure to be scientific. The Princess Cinema, we have the narrative of Kenneth Tain s greater failure, despite a log- chance to learn a bit more Contributed Photo "The Human Equation." ically flowing narrative, is about Sylvia Plath. Sylvia, a Perhaps reminiscent of the that it is hard to be compelled biopic about Plath's life after found until three days later. meeting- and marrying her She was rushed to the hospi- pulp classics of the 1930s to read this book. The major- Contributed Photo and 1940'5, this novel tells ity of it is devoted to baseline husband, Ted Hughes, gives tal and went through psy- the story of the return of the and lengthy descriptions of forces of good. Even the us more insight to the cre- chotherapy. Much human race to the earth after one-dimensional characters demise of the arc-villain ative, yet destructive genius of Plath's work a seven hundred year exodus that the reader has a hard Shappa Elias Bactule, mili- she was. I am very interested shows her darker thoughts when the intelligent super time identifying with, along- tary commander of the to see how Gywneth Paltrow and her images that are often virus' Omega almost wipes side chapter after chapter of Crusaders, is not very satis- plays Plath, and also look at morbid. out humanity. overly long and predictable factory. Ultimately, the whether this film does justice For example, here is an The Earthers, carnivores space battles. heroes face little struggle in to one of the most influential excerpt from her poem Lady such as dogs, cats and bears Much of the flavour that this novel. writers of the 20th century. Lazarus: that were mutated by Omega has marked some of the most Despite certain perceived Plath was born in 1932 in as a new source of food, are gripping science-fictions weaknesses, I personally Massachusetts to two school The first time it happened 1 transplanted as the intelli- series such as the found the concept of the heirs teachers. However, when she was ten/It was an accident/ gent society that replaces "Foundation Trilogy" or of an old earth and the con- lost her father at eight, this The second time I meant humans in this time. "Dune" has been lost in "The fronting of genesis humans created a hole that would To last it out and not come ■ The novel is set up with Human Equation." The read- by benevolent species remi- never be filled. Plath excelled back at all/1 rocked shut/ the Earthers' anticipation of er neither experiences full niscent of their own past to in her classes; she was first Asa seashell/They had to call the humans' return. They are depth characters nor any be an interesting one. published at age eight, and and call/And pick the worms more than willing to share sense of the exotic that is Describing- his own career, through her teen years was off me like sticky pearls/ their common home world, often found in futuristic fan- Hugo award-winning author published in Seventeen, Dying/Is an art, like every- but in return' the Earthers tasy. Isaac Asirnov once said that Christian Science Monitor, thing else/1 do it exceptionally expect the humans to aban- Aside from its lack of he never considered himself a Harpers and Mademoiselle. welt/I do it so itfeels like hell/I don their harmful ways of character development, the great writer compared to his Even so. problems with do it so itfeels real/I guess you the past. true failure of this novel is contemporaries, but he cred- Plath's mental stability were could say I've a call." The conflict is addressed that in light of the Earthers ited his success to the fact seen early in her life. In the very early in the novel with moral and technological that he always continued to summer of 1953. when she Sylvia Plath shows us a the introduction of the superiority, the reader can write. was 21, she came home to part of herself that most hide Genesis Fleet. The aptly never really feel that these Anyone who has taken the find that she had been reject- away as well as shedding the named 'crusaders' led by beings or their Genesis navy risk of putting pen to prose ed from a fiction-writing light of some of the darker High Chancellor Bingham allies are in any true danger knows that it can take years course at Harvard. At this areas of the human psyche. I are set upon their goals of from the Crusaders. to develop your own voice. news, Sylvia, leaving a note think that Sylvia should resettling the earth in their Page after page is devoted That said, it would be short- that she had gone for a walk, prove to be an interesting holy quest. to describing how easily the sighted to dismiss this crawled under her house and film that will give us a little Upon meeting the Crusaders are baited into a author. took an enormous dose of insight into a mind that was farthers, Bingham rejects trap and crushed by the sleeping pills: she was not both volatile and brilliant. 32 Wft)Nf.sday Arts Novfmrfr ?nr^ A filmmaker's duty to history Atom Egoyan lectures at UW on 'Poetic License' and tackling the past JON BOOREN As I was coming- in I met with Staff Writer Mr. Egoyan in the hallway, and we talked briefly before I He came, lie dressed sharply, went up to the balcony to he spoke.,, and chances are claim a seat and he went back you are probably among the to examining- a display case. many who had no idea he When 1 finally found a was here. Atom Egoyan, seat up in the nosebleeds, I (director of The Sweet noticed we were perched Hereafter, Exotica, Howard in above about 100,000 other Particular and many others), people in the Hagey Hall that revisited the city of Waterloo evening"; but 111 admit now this past Monday night and that from where 1 was seated delivered an excellent lecture I couldn't see all the corners entitled Poetic License and so there may have been a few the Incarnation of History: more. But I digress. he discussed the filmmakers The lecture focused on the Matt Benassi role when tackling' historical representation of history Ararat issues. Atom Egoyan, director of critically acclaimed films The Sweet Hereafter, Exotica and speaks at ■through the medium of film films. It was cold and raining* or, the use of Poetic License the University of Waterloo about historical accuracies in last Monday night, and I by artists such as Mr. the Titanic sinking*, and cre- Turkey during the First to think about it all and arrived bit late- it a (partly Egoyan. How, for example, ate their own fictional World War, reflect upon his observations. because I'm easily distracted is dangerously easy for a. account of what actually I attended Egoyans dis- Any references he made by that HMV, and partly filmmaker such as James transpired. Not too threaten- cussion about his film last about the political climate because of my penchant for Cameron, to take a well- ing until it's pointed out that year here at Laurier, and surrounding' Ararat were entrances). As a fashionable known but under-document- in many cases the public may though the two talks were very well suited to the topic lesson to everyone, being ed historical event such as take this story and accept it similar in the sense that they at hand and were genuinely fashionably late still pays off. as the truth. both discussed Ararat, I thought provoking. This example of Titanic is He also brought up how not a, malicious one, since Mr, we all interpret events, which Egoyan did note that the film It is dangerously we believe to be true, and are lived up to its name that year easy for a daily censored by others' per- and swept the Oscars, leav- spectives. ing his own film The Sweet filmmaker such as His principle argument Hereafter with nothing- but James Cameron to discussed the way govern- the nod of a nomination. ments treat citizens within He went on to speak of his take a well-known their respective countries, personal experiences, and historical event feeding them what they want discussed bringing his latest to hear to sway the masses film Ararat to the world and create his own with their manufactured dis- amongst the criticism that it on it... course. was just anti-Turkish propa- take Whether the conflict is old ganda. or new, if one wants to find For those of you unfamil- found this year's talk to be truth about the issue, you iar to Ararat, it is a story the more interesting of the must look to the intimate about people corning to grips two. Last year, though lie had interactions between people. a lot of This is perhaps the only Matt Benassi with their emotions and already experienced interpretations about the the political attention sur- truth that matters, which This, again, is Atom Egoyan speaking at the University of Waterloo genocide of the Armenian rounding' Ararat, (and did was the principle for about... nevermind. His hands are up in this photo. Cool, huh? population who lived in mention it), he has had time Egoyan's own story, Ararat, 1 ! ! NOW WITH EASY OPEN LIDS. FREE Buy one GET ONE POlr*, ZAP. EAT. ! !