Do You Dress As Well As the Russians?

2 NEWS MARCH 1, 2011 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Do you dress as well as the Russians? Something else Alexander Viktoro- Eva, intending to keep moving. vich said also made me wonder about The docent, however, stood in front something that's been needling the of her, insisting that she tuck her pant back of my brain for a while now. Af- leg up and then, when Eva had com- ter class, we were talking to him more plied, that she tuck the other one up as about Russia's portrayal in the West and well, so that they were even. he compared it to Soviet propaganda Then, on the way to the ballet, a during the Cold War that focused on woman stopped Marija because the all the negative aspects of Western (i.e., belt to her duster was dangling in view Above: The “Versailles of Russia,” Peter I’s summer palace at Peterhof. COURTney ring — TRW American) culture. This is coming from beneath the hem of her coat. As it hap- Right: The Samson fountain, the centerpiece of the fountains, honors Peter I’s victory over the Swedes. a man who loves the United States and pened, this was fortunate because Mari- ly because we didn't know beforehand body heat, the windows fogged over. spends every other semester at Duke ja and Nina had gotten separated from Courtney Ring that we had to pay to get inside each of Kinda gross. University teaching American students! me and Jim--and Marija didn't know EDITORAL STAFF the palaces as well as the park--and that Today, I finally found the courage In fact, the very first time that he where the theater was, and Nina has there is no ATM inside the park. So, we to march up to the lady at the metro came to the United States, his mother a hard time with directions. Thanks to Last weekend, a group of us went to did not end up going inside the palaces. ticket window and buy a travel card for pestered him constantly beforehand, that womans fastidious sartorial tastes, Peterhof, Peter I's summer palace on We did, however, enjoy exploring the the trolleybus. It costs less than simply “Are you sure its safe? What if you get we were able to catch them before they the banks of the Gulf of Finland. A Rus- grounds. paying every time I get onto the trol- kidnapped? All that crime and lawless- wandered out of sight of the theater! sian answer to Versailles, the palace re- In one little copse, we discovered ley, but I've resisted purchasing one ness over there.” Robin had something similar happen flects all the arrogance and power of its trick fountains that turned on and off through sheer cowardice--I really don't He finally turned to her and said, to her as well. A woman stopped her on original master. We went last weekend without warning, drenching the un- like talking to people behind glass, my “I’m 41 years old. Nothings going to the street to tell her that she had white because our hostesses assured us that it wary and the daring alike. Groups of Russian's bad enough without that im- happen to me.” stuff on her coat. This confused Robin, was the last weekend to see the foun- teenagers and adults danced around on pediment. As it happened, I went and Today, he asked us, “In the American whose coat is black. Then the woman tains. We decided to go by hydrofoil the cobbles trying to find the exact spot forgot that the word “chislo” means not media, when have you ever seen a Rus- told her to take her coat off, which Rob- rather than by metro and marshrutka, a to stand in order to trigger the fountain- only number, but date. So, after ask- sian who is not evil, stupid, or in the in started to do before it occurred to her sort of bus taxi. It was more expensive, -all the while oblivious to the man in ing me, “S kakovo chisla?” (From what mafia?” As extreme as it seems at first, that the woman might be trying to steal but worth it in order to see St. Peters- the small hut off the path who pulled date?) for the third time, in frustration he does have a valid point. Russia still her jacket. At that thought, she hast- burg from the water for the first time. the levers. After watching several people she finally asked me whether I wanted seems to be one of the favorite politi- ily began thrusting her arms back into Gracious classical facades rapidly get soaked (it seems the person on duty her to activate the card for Sunday or cal punching bags in the United States, the sleeves, saying, I'm cold." Finally, gave way to grungy wharfs on which, had a mildly sadistic sense of humor), Monday. even though the "Evil Empire" dis- in exasperation, the woman grabbed rusted cranes squatted crow-like. Even we risked a dash when it seemed safe One of the things I'm finding the solved twenty years ago. the back of Robin's jacket, pulling it these vestiges of industry dropped enough to do so. Moving on through most interesting about staying here is We have also discovered that what around so that she could see the chalk quickly behind us as we headed to- the trees, we came upon another sculpt- watching the news and people's reac- you wear in Russia, we have discov- dust from the walls of Smolny Institute wards the Gulf of Finland. A narrow ed lawn and a more grandly sedate pair tion to that news from this side of the ered, is EVERYONE'S business, and on the tail of her coat. band of green tracked us on either of fountains. Even here though, flam- water. Even our professors at school most seem dressed to kill. Dan was It's funny the situations that we find side as the city disappeared. After what boyancy intruded in the form of a sheet who have lived in the United States and speculating one evening that there's ourselves in as people begin to treat us seemed like a very short time, the hy- of water sliding down a terraced grade are very pro-US were unanimously in a rule in Russia that if you're wearing more like Russians. I don't know if it's drofoil veered towards the embrace of across a checkered black-and-white favor of President Obama's decision to less than a certain number of square because we look and act more Russian a small inlet. surface. At the top, two vivid green remove the missile interceptors from inches of clothing you have to wear than we did when we arrived or what. Even the insistent drizzle could not and red dragons guard the fountain. It's Poland and the Czech Republic. heels. Regardless, though, four-inch But no one stopped us to tell us our dim the splendor of the fountains. called "The Checkerboard," but at the Once in class, Jim mentioned the stiletto heels seem to be standard issue. clothing was wonky the first month we Nearly 40 golden life-sized figures pa- time we simply dubbed it "The Impe- incident when Russia refused gas to The footwear is actually one of the best were here, and I rarely had anyone stop raded down the terraced hill in front rial Water Slide." Ukraine. He didn't get very far before parts of people-watching--the shoes are me and ask for directions—and it hap- of the palace to a canal that fed straight Damp through, we at last abandoned Alexander Viktorovich interrupted him. so outrageous and look so impossibly pens almost everyday now. I've actually into the gulf. The most magnificent of the park and grabbed a bite to eat be- "It was not that way," he said. "During painful. But they sure do move. been elated to discover that I usually these, a giant statue of Samson wrench- fore heading home via marshrutka the Soviet period, Russia sold gas to Tracey was complaining the other understand and can respond—even ing open the jaws of a lion barehanded, and metro, resolving to return another Ukraine and the other republics at a day, "I'm walking through the park in though they talk fast, low, and without represents Peter’s victory over the time in order to visit the palace. The reduced rate. Ukraine wanted Russia to flats doing everything I can to get to articulating clearly. Swedes at Poltava. In many ways, that marshrutka is an interesting hybrid— continue doing that, rather than paying school on time, and I'm getting lapped In terms of actually giving directions, military victory announced Russia’s rise not a bus and not a taxi. Rickety euro- the market price, but Russia refused. by a girl in stripper heels!" though, I still usually have to say, "I as a European power, so Peter lack of vans dart in and out of traffic vying for They went to Europe and asked, too, Although largely exempt from any don't know." modesty is perhaps more understand- place at bus stops to pick up passen- but Europe turned them down. Then comment on our attire during the first able. Away from the terrace, a carefully gers. Privately run, these marshrutkas they were stealing gas out of the pipes couple months of our stay, that is begin- manicured lawn unfurled itself banner- follow set routes and are a lot more going through the country.

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