Basic Negotiations

❖ Circle or highlight things that you both want. https://www.dragonstailalc.com ❖ Cross out the things that are not to be done in this scene. ❖ SAFE WORDS: Red=Stop, Yellow=Slowdown/Check-in, Green=Keep going, (Talk about non-verbal options in case someone finds themselves unable to talk for any reason.)

Top Bottom Switch For this Scene, is a….

Serious Playful Sexy Dominant Submissive Masochistic Sadistic And I want to feel... Energetic Cathartic Overwhelmed Beautiful Degraded Peaceful

For this Scene, is a…. Top Bottom Switch

Serious Playful Sexy Dominant Submissive Masochistic Sadistic And I want to feel... Energetic Cathartic Overwhelmed Beautiful Degraded Peaceful

Stingy Whips Spanking Canes Pummeling (Punching) Heavy Paddles Flogging Thuddy Light

Rope Leather/Cuffs Mental Restrictive Decorative Cages Bondage Suspension Collar/Lead Gags Floor Work/Bondage

Playing with Hair Pressure Points Biting Licking Tickling Hair Pulling Scratching Electricity Kissing

Sensory Deprivation Blindfolds Hoods Earplugs

Mind Games Mind Fucks Exhibitionism

Cuddles Talking/Socialize Food Water Coffee Hot Chocolate Aftercare Blankets None needed Check in Tomorrow

❖ What are things you would like to be called? ❖ What are things you are not to be called? ❖ Any Medical Conditions? ❖ Are you into humiliation? Explain what kind/what you like. ❖ Feel free to talk about things not covered on this sheet. ❖ If at an event, talk to the DM’s if your planning a non-con scene ❖ Not everything is listed- feel free to use your imagination.

Everyone holds the right to say no to anything.

Mark no touch area on figures above

Tampa Bay Phoenix Club

Tips on Negotiating a Scene

❖ Negotiating a scene is different than negotiating a relationship. ❖ Negotiating is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. o Once you get to know someone you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity. ❖ Ready to negotiate? Have in mind what you would like to experience. o Be as specific as you'd like. o Express what turns you on. o Things you have tried in the past that really did it for you. ❖ Tell them your -Refer to the checklist on other side ❖ Pre-Scene negotiating includes but not limited to o Who is the top/bottom-any observers-types of address (Sir, Ma’am, Master etc.) o Needs and/or expectations, likes/dislikes, and ability- Both top & bottom. o Boundaries/Limits ▪ Physical-marks, pain, etc ▪ Psychological-obedience or humiliation o Types of play-impact, sensory, electrical, etc o Gear or attire-clothing, toys, o Duration- How long o Health conditions/concerns-Don’t be shy. Heart, allergies, meds, STD’s o Safety- discuss and address concerns o Sex- Yes or No. Touching body parts. o !!!!! Stoplight system is good Red, Yellow, Green. Red Stop Now! Yellow-Slow down and discuss. Green-Ok good to go. Of come up with your own. Non-verbal cues. Raising hand, dropping ball, etc.

https://submissiveguide.com/communication/articles/basics-negotiating-scene Books we recommend ❖ SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman ❖ Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of by Philip Miller ❖ Loving Dominant by John Warren ❖ The New Topping Book by and Janet W. Hardy ❖ The New Bottoming Book by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton ❖ Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook

Websites for Research https://www.dragonstailalc.com http://www.frugaldomme.com/home.htm https://www.albanypowerexchange.org/articles/ https://www.submissiveguide.com/ https://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/first_meeting.html http://bdsmwiki.info/BDSM_101 http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/checklist.htm http://www.drkdesyre.com/info/safety.html

http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm https://www.submissiveguide.com/communication/articles/initiatin g-a-discussion-about-bdsm-interest-with-a-vanilla-partner