Fear in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and a Pathway to Reconciliation
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Fear in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a Pathway to Reconciliation Meandering Philosophy and Musings Mingled with Scripture Revision B By Tom Irvine Email: [email protected] July 4, 2020 To fear God is to have absolute reverence and awe for an Almighty God, the Creator of all things. But the fear discussed in this paper is worry and dread over potential loss or calamity. This fear can include angst regarding a pending change, even though that change may be a needed growth opportunity, or otherwise bring blessings. The fear may be deeply rooted in a person’s subconscious due to genetic predispositions or past traumatic experiences. Furthermore, fear can exist on an individual or an institutional basis. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has accomplished an immeasurable amount of good for innumerable souls by providing a faith community for like-minded people, offering disaster relief to those in distress and in so many other ways. In addition, the LDS Church provides excellent education opportunities through its BYU campuses and the BYU Pathway program. 1 But the Church has traumatized others via certain fear-based policies and unrighteous dominion. Some trauma victims leave the Church and may never return. Others are the “walking wounded” who still participate in Church for social or altruistic reasons even though their bubbles have burst, or their “shelves” have broken. This paper is neither a vindication of the Church nor an expose. Rather it is a paper that wrestles with some real and messy issues with the hopes that some mutual understanding and peaceful reconciliation can be achieved. This paper also has some autobiographical sections for my own catharsis and self-help. Perhaps relating my personal experiences will help someone else to heal from his or her own soul wounds. The wandering style of this paper was inspired by Robert M. Pirsig's “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values,” published in 1974, although my paper is nominally nonfictional. Or maybe my experiences and musings have all been a dream.1 The attention given to individual topics in this paper varies widely from one subject to the next. There is plenty of room for someone to build upon this work. Or maybe I will offer future revisions. Acknowledgements I humbly thank my Savior, Jesus Christ, who took upon himself the sins of all mankind including my own in the Garden of Gethsemane and upon the Cross at Calvary. I express gratitude to my talented wife Jan for patiently dealing with my vast idiosyncrasies, and I honor her as the loving mother of our three sons. I deeply appreciate Danna Hartline and her seminal research on church trauma. Danna and I cofounded a Facebook group “LDS Church Trauma and Healing” which currently has over 1100 members. Danna recently completed her master’s thesis, Understanding and Managing Church Trauma— Finding Help and Healing for Mormons, at California Southern University. My own paper draws liberally from her thesis in tone and substance. My gratitude also goes to my Facebook friends Blaire Ostler, Brian Bresee and Scott Stover who contributed insightful quotes to this paper. Michelle Hunter and Sherrilynne Dalton enabled me to experience healing through their prayers, for which I am eternally grateful, as I sought to reconcile my own fears. I thank former Madison, Alabama Stake President Keith R. Draughon and former Seventy Elder Bruce A. Carlson for the important lessons they taught me about fear in the Church. I look forward to the 1 And also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream… Jacob 7:26 2 day, perhaps on the other side of the veil, when we can reach a peaceful reconciliation, see eye to eye, and recognize that some dilemmas have more than one “right answer.” 1 Introduction Vigilance is a necessary survival mechanism for man and animals. Both must anticipate hazards and prepare accordingly. But unmoderated vigilance can lead to debilitating fear, anxiety and mental illness. Hypervigilance can ruin a person’s finances, health, happiness and relationships. Or it can derail a person from his or her divinely appointed mission. The same is true for an institution. Scriptural, hymnal and other quotes on overcoming fear are presented in this paper for perspective. This include teachings from LDS General Authorities and from other religious and secular figures, psychologists and philosophers. The middle portion of this paper discusses how fear has shaped certain policies within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Whether the fear is or was warranted in each case is a question where reasonable people may disagree. My bias is that the fear is or was largely a stumbling block. The policies in this paper have been thoroughly discussed in books, articles, official Church publications and blogs. Partial exceptions are the Hebrew Book Mormon and the relationship of the Church with the Jews. This paper gathers a cornucopia of mostly low-hanging fruit, but that is not its contribution. Rather the purpose is to tie these fruits together in terms of their fear-based common denominator. Perhaps coming to terms with these visceral fears can open a pathway for making apologies and amends, mitigating current fear-based policies, and avoiding future mistakes, both on personal and institutional levels. 3 The Spanish philosopher George Santayana (1863 – 1952) famously wrote2, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." (1) But expectations for merciful changes must be tempered with patience. President Dallin H: Oaks explained, "I know that the history of the church is not to seek apologies or to give them. We sometimes look back on issues and say, 'Maybe that was counterproductive for what we wish to achieve,' but we look forward and not backward." The church doesn't "seek apologies," he said, "and we don't give them." (2) Members should not expect validation from the Church or its leaders, although affirmation could be a healing balm. Members should realize that Church leaders are "men of their times" when they enact detrimental policies out of fear and ignorance. This realization can enable members to make allowances for leaders’ questionable behavior, but such tolerance can still be bounded. A secondary purpose of this paper is to show that there can be “more than one right answer” when misunderstandings or disagreements occur. Hopefully, this realization can lead to reconciliation as discussed in the postscript section of this paper. 2 Note that there are several common paraphrased variants of Santayana’s quote. 4 2 Church Trauma Tree My friend Danna Hartline created this image for her master’s thesis and graciously granted permission for its use in this paper. She has posted chapters from her thesis at her blog: The Mormon Trauma Mama, Healing Help for When Church Hurts. http://mormontraumamama.com/ Danna correctly identified fear as a trauma branch. The purpose of the present paper is to show that fear is also a nutrient of the roots. Fear is thus both a “cause and effect” of the trauma tree trunk. 5 Furthermore, fear can be weaponized into a scare tactic, which is a form of the unrighteous dominion root shown in Danna’s tree.3 Members expect church to be a safe refuge and sanctuary from life’s storms. And that the gathering together upon the land of Zion, and upon her stakes, may be for a defense, and for a refuge from the storm, and from wrath when it shall be poured out without mixture upon the whole earth. - Doctrine & Covenants 115:6 In contrast, Danna noted: Being wounded in a place that should be safe is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. Deep compassion and continuing efforts to share knowledge about this important issue with leaders, sufferers, and congregations is an absolute necessity. 3 Vigilance Examples 3.1 Useful Vigilance Vigilance as used in this paper refers to prudent assessments of plausible hazards, whether immediate or long-term, as well as the resulting actions to prevent or mitigate the threats. 3 My experience is that authoritarian-minded, dogmatic members sometimes weaponize statements made by “The Brethren.” General Conference can be an emotionally triggering experience. 6 Squirrels exercise a heighten awareness during autumn by collecting and storing nuts so they will have food to last through winter. Some animal species forage in herds so that they can warn one another if a predator approaches the group. A clan of meerkats will even have one of its members serve as a sentry. (3) The meerkat standing guard makes peeping sounds when all is well. Adults in developed countries purchase insurance policies and save money for retirement. Homeowners who are extra cautious install burglar alarms and security cameras. Vigilance is a Biblical principle. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 Jesus effectively charged his disciples to be vigilant. Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16 The call to watch or be watchful is a similar principle. Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober. 1 Thessalonians 5:6 The term “watchmen” appears four times in the Book of Mormon as derived from Isaiah 52:8. An example is: Then shall their watchmen lift up their voice, and with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye. 4 Nephi 20:31 7 3.2 Dysfunctional Fear 3.2.1 Hypervigilance Hypervigilance and fear as used in this paper refer to excessive anxiety over potential danger, perhaps implausible or only marginally possible, whether immediate or long-term, as well as the resulting actions or inactions to prevent or mitigate the imagined threat.