#15 our style is legendary parental guidance: bad words inside bad words guidance: parental illustration by Nick Chaffe LeftLion Magazine Issue 15 Welcome to the first LeftLion magazine of 4. Notts The Nine O’Clock News 2007. Our send off to 2006, the New Year’s February-March 2007 Eve Extravaganza at the Orange Tree was a 5. The Queen of Comedy blast! A sold-out gig featuring The Smears, Editor Sidearm, Nuclear Family, Bassrooster, Mr Jared Wilson ([email protected]) 6. Four Real/Cheeky Monkeys Jones and DJ Squigley - they all did us proud. Look out for our regular monthly gigs for the Deputy Editors 7. Words Spoken Louder Than a finest selection of local vocals to be found in Al Needham ([email protected]) Hood Town (and probably some way outside Nathan Miller ([email protected]) Foolish Man’s Actions of it too). Technical Director 8. Keeping to the Left/Gentle Ben Alan Gilby ([email protected]) The period after Christmas is always a slightly melancholy one. Everyone is reeling Marketing and Sales Manager 9. Toad on Toad Action from the excesses of Christmas and New Ben Hacking ([email protected]) Year, trying to lose some of the pounds (lbs) 10. Mint Condition/Where There’s a Will you added to your body and trying to regain Artistic Director some of the pounds (£s) you’ve lost from your Dave Reason ([email protected]) 11. The Horrors Show wallet. I was recently informed by a friend that 24 January is the most depressing day of Listings Editors 12. Paper Penfold the year. I’m not sure what that’s based upon, Tim Bates ([email protected]) but by the time you read this you can count Florence Gohard ([email protected]) 13. Automatic For The People your lucky stars it’s over. By my reckoning it’s the party season again! Proofreading Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected]) 16. Suits You, Sir In this issue we’ve interviewed our first ever Distribution 18. Artist Profiles ‘Sir’. I met up with fashion entrepreneur Natasha Chowdhury Sir Paul Smith in his new cinema at the Sophie Driscoll Broadway. He was a lovely guy, really down 20. Out and About to earth and friendly - amazingly so for a Photography Editor man with an estimated fortune of nearly Dom Henry ([email protected]) 22. Events Listings £200million. He also informed me that he knew the original ‘Withnail’ back in the Photographers 27. Nottsword/Pub Quiz day, which is a rare honour for any fan of Al Greer ([email protected]) that great film. However, much as I admire David Bowen ([email protected]) 28. Dinner with Springer/Nottingham Zoo his work (particularly his suits) it’s unlikely Dom Henry ([email protected]) he’ll ever move back to Notts. So it would be Harry B’stard 29. Creative Writing nice to see those with the power to change Jon Rouston ([email protected]) things in the city concentrate on some of the Illustrators 30. Rocky Horrorscopes/The Arthole interesting creative types who are residents Rob White ([email protected]) here and equally worthy of praise. In our Rikki Marr ([email protected]) experience a thriving culture needs to be built Nick Chaffe ([email protected]) from the bottom upwards… Contributors We also hooked up (by telephone) with my Amanda Young Australian doppelganger Ryan Maloney (aka Cal Gibson Toadfish from Neighbours). That was a rare Jesse Keene personal (if slightly self indulgent) pleasure Michael Simon for me. Equally amusing was new kid on Michelle Bayton the UK comedy block Josie Long. Go see her Roger Mean show at the Lakeside in February and you won’t be disappointed! Magician In Residence Jack Curtis Current NME favourites The Automatic and Sound Bloke The Horrors both feature in this mag and Mike Cheque tour the city together in February. They don’t appear to like each other either - maybe the organisers are looking for Jade and Shilpa ”You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will style publicity antics on that tour? change and even reverse many of your present opinions. UK hiphop’s new golden boy Plan B is also in Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the house. the highest matters.” Plato Personally speaking though, I prefer the sounds of some of our talented and try-hard LeftLion local musicians such as BluMonkey, Non- 349a Mansfield Road Thespian, Mint Ive, Will Jeffery, Penfold Plum Nottingham and Left of the Dealer. Find out more about all NG5 2DA 0115 9123782 of them and their music within these pages… If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your There’s so much talent in this city, it’s ready company in these pages please contact Ben on 07843 944910 to burst! or email [email protected] LeftLion magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 [email protected] in the city of Nottingham. In December 2006 LeftLion.co.uk received over 450,000 page views. Nominated as Best Free Music Magazine in the UK Record of the Day Awards 2006 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue15 3 nOTTs THE NINE O’CLOCK NEWS Nottingham Doubling In Size? with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham Some proposal or other wants to see areas like Arnold, Carlton, Beeston etc join Nottingham City Council. We could definitely benefit from this, more money being pumped in would have December 1 January 2 a positive effect on the city. Then hopefully those Notts health bods reveal that AIDS cases in Nottingham Tantragate. Nottingham is rocked by the shocking revelation pesky gun crime stats will jump straight down. have trebled in five years. Christ on a crisp packet, kids - get that lower-division footballers with more money than braincells Beermonster your jizz-bags on. Yes, I know you lose sensitivity. Yes, I know sometimes act like dickheads in public, as Nottingham Forest they’re too tight. Yes, I know that they make your bits smell like players get shitfaced, force members of staff to clear up their One thing I can see this doing is no longer a washing-up glove, but stop pissing about. mess, and leave stools lying about on the floor in Revolution allowing the Council to use the excuse that (the chain pub based on a totalitarian state that killed millions because you don’t live in the ‘city limits’ they December 2 of its own people) and Tantra (the Happy Shopper Geisha). don’t have to deal with your complaints. Jamie A teet’-sucking mouth-breather from Aspley gets hit with Nothing else happened anywhere else. Honest. a whopping ASBO that bans him for being a toss-bag in five This will allow the council’s crime figures counties. This means that if he wants to mooch about with his January 4 and suchlike to include some nicer areas of other waste-of-sperm-and-eggs mates, he’s gonna have to nick Celebrity Big Brother starts, but contrary to massive rumours, Nottingham with lower crime rates, thus a car and joyride all the way to Leeds to do it. Hmm…haven’t Su Pollard isn’t going in there. Consequently, nothing of improving the city’s image statistically. thought this out have we, Nottingham Magistrates’ Court? interest happens during the entire run of the show and the The Conversation Was Strictly Void… media pay it no attention whatsoever. December 3 The worst thing about this proposal is that an Nottingham Forest play lumpy football on a lumpier pitch and January 6 unelected body (the East Midlands Regional scrape a 1-1 draw with Salisbury City in the Cup. True, their Although they can have a good laugh about Tantragate, it’s not a Assembly) are planning to build on greenbelt in performance stank the place out, but to be fair the place was good day to be a Notts County fan (actually, it’s not a good life to between Gotham, Ruddington and Clifton. Not an absolute dump and a potential tie in the turd round against be a Notts fan, but we won’t go there). Not only do Forest knock just a few houses but 14000. Charlton is not to be sniffed at… out Charlton 2-0 in the cup, but County are announced by Sparrow Littlewoods as the most stressful team in England to support. December 4 It’s true that the A453 is chocka most days and Clifton is full of traffic but I reckon a few more According to a car insurance company who wants some cheap January 8 homes won’t go amiss. publicity, Nottingham is the fifth-worst place in the country Chelsea. Barnze to be if you don’t want your ride nicked by pikey bell-ends who’ll then drive it into a ditch and set fire to it. And yes, our January 9 Evil Nemesis Hull is number one. A junior school in Sherwood is getting its own in-house Neighbourhood Wardens police officer, the jammy bleeders. When I was at junior school, December 5 the third most exciting thing ever (after the Goodyear blimp I was under the impression that they are Manslaughter trial of the week: A schizophrenic from Sherwood going over the playground and a three hour scrap between the basically security guards who work for the is sent down for life for stabbing a fellow inmate in the eye with first and second-best fighters in the school) was when a copper council in public areas.