[yOLUME LXXXVIII NUMBER 27 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA FRIDAY 8 MAY 19871 Watson Lecture US Representative Speaks Out: Neural Militarization of R&D Must End by Huy Cao claim that ·basic research is Even if research on campus re­ Networks "The development part of the detrimental to our national se­ mains unclassified, and within the equation has been receiving an in­ curity." realm of basic research, those by Glenn Tesler creasing proportion of federal But, says Congressman Brown, technologies receiving the greatest The human brain can perform funding, particularly for military the public image of defense re­ emphasis are preparing a genera­ one quadrillion operations per sec­ programs." Congressman George search is not accurate. "Newspa­ tion of students for 'Star Wars' ond through parallel processing. It E. Brown, Jr. spoke at Caltech in pers cover, in their science sec­ development." has ten trillion neurons, each con­ a speech entitled "The Militariza­ tions, military reports of scientific nected to ten thousand others. In tion of Federal R&D, With an Em­ progress on weapons-related sys­ Students Beware contrast, the fastest modem digital phasis on the D." The Space Weap­ tems. The Pentagon will also invite He warned students that ifthey computers operate at only one ten­ ons Study Group and the Distin­ the press to carefully staged specialize in certain fields such as millionth the speed, in part because guished Speakers Fund sponsored technology demonstrations. Often non-linear optics, they may find the operations are performed the talk. the significance of the progress is their employment prospects heavily sequentially. Congressman Brown is a Dem­ overstated." dominated by defense contractors. Terrence J. Sejnowski, Caltech ocrat representative from River­ The defense aspect of R&D has "Unfortunately, the militariza­ Visiting Professor of Neurobiology side. He is a member of the Con­ altered scientific research at the tion of R&D is a larger issue than and Johns Hopkins Associate Pro­ gressional Technology Assessment university. Congressman Brown the decisions facing Caltech as an fessor of Biophysics, models neu­ Board and is also the ranking believes that "the nature of military institution. Let us take a look at the ral networks on digital computers Democrat member of the House research, particularly as it has be­ employment prospects facing a stu­ and thereby simulates the parallel Science, Space, and Technology come dominated by development, dent graduating from Caltech, a processing of the brain. He de­ Committee. He holds a B.S. degree testing and evaluation, is antithet­ student who intends to carry his or scribed his research in the final in Industrial Physics from UCLA. ical to the academic research ethics her campus boycott of SDI re­ Watson lecture of the season ~ The Congressman's basic thesis of openness and internationalism." search onto industry. Although :J Wednesday night in Beckman Vl was that R&D has changed under Citing one case of restricted much is made of SDI spending on Auditorium. .~ President Reagan. There is now a freedom having to do with JPL, he university campuses, this money All the neurons simultaneously ~ shift away from pure and applied said that some researchers there amounts to only six percent of the receive stimuli of various strengths Cl- research and toward development, have stopped sending reprints to overall SDI budget." from all the neurons to which they ..6 testing, and evaluation of weapons the Eastern Bloc. But he said that, The Congressman discouraged are connected, and react, in tum, ~ systems. "Even in the absence of military students and scientists from going by returning stimuli to these neu­ -§.. "Part of the shift toward restrictions, academic researchers into defense jobs. He pointed to rons. In contrast, the fastest development," said the Congress­ are becoming conservative to the fluctuations in defense employ­ modem digital computers can per­ Terrence Sejnowski discusses the point of self-censorship." ment: In California it grew to complexities of neural networks and man, "is a reflection of the grow­ form only one hundred million op­ computers in the final Watson Lec­ ing complexity ofmodem weapons He later added, "Most military 600,000 in the 60's but dropped to erations per second, about one ten ture of the season. systems, which must be prepared RDT&E work is incremental de­ 150,000 in the 70's and is today at millionth the number of the brain. to meet ever more sophisticated velopment based on conservatism 750,000. "Most of these contracts These operations must be carried tempted t9 translate it into battle environments and active and redundancy rather than inno­ are politically controversial and out sequentially in a precise phonemes. enemy countermeasures." vative leaps in technology." could be terminated quite sudden­ manner. The strength of the neural con­ But he attributed most ofthe in­ A major object ofthe Congress­ ly." In collaboration with Professor nections was changed until the crease in the budget for develop­ man's criticism is President One change which would affect Charles Rosenberg of Princeton, neural network produced pho­ ment to President Reagan's empha­ Reagan's SDI (Strategic Defense jobs, he said, is if there is transfer Sejnowski has developed a neural nemes similar to the teacher's. This sis on defense programs. "Under Initiative) program. The Reagan ofexecutive power in '88 elections network designed to learn how to transcript was fed through the net­ the Reagan Administration, the Administration has "distorted" the to an administration with different pronounce words given their Eng­ work repeatedly, and gradually the predominance of development in meaning of research according to views on U.S. defense. As an aside lish spellings. It consists of a net­ network's performance improved. military R&D has reached even him. he said that he hoped there would work of "neurons" which initially greater proportions than ever "Despite claims that the SDI is be such a transfer of power. have no knowledge ofhow to asso­ Babbling...Then English before. R&D has become a shor­ simply a research project, intend­ Turning to his "alternative vi­ ciate the spellings ofwords with the thand for RDT&E: Research, De­ ed solely to ~valuate the feasibility sion of national security," Con­ phonemes required to pronounce Sejnowski played tapes show­ velopment, Testing, and Evalua­ ofa defense against Soviet ballistic gressman Brown suggested redi­ them correctly. ing the progress of the network tion. . .. Research receives less' missiles, SDI has a clearly iden­ recting some of our resources A "teacher," consisting of a over a several-hour period; the net­ than 10 percent of military tified goal. SDI is intended to make toward such industries as steel, transcript ofchildren learning how work babbled at the beginning, but RDT&E funding. nuclear-armed ballistic missiles im­ autos, textiles, and consumer elec­ to speak and the phonemes associ­ eventually produced recognizable potent and obsolete." He borrow­ tronics so that the U. S. can "regain ated with the words in the tran­ words. The network was then fed Sacred Cow ed the phrase "impotent and ob­ a strong place in the world market script, was used to teach the net­ more documents, and was able to "Research is the sacred cow of solete" from one of President place." work how to speak. The neural net­ apply the rules it had developed to U.S. defense efforts. Not even the Reagan's early speeches on SDI. "Federal support for environ­ work was given the transcript of new words, as well as learn what most severe critic of President "What does this mean for edu­ mental programs can help give us the children's speech, and at- continued on page 4 Reagan's defense policies will cation in science and technology? continued on page 3 IHC Interviews For Committees check with their house president or by Sam Weaver look at the schedules posted on the Interviews for positions on door of the Master's Office to find faculty/student committees will be out the time of their interview. held next week, starting on Mon­ day, May 11. Preliminary inter­ Final interviews for all commit­ views will take place on Monday tees with more applicants than for those committees with the most available positions will be held by applicants. These interviews will the whole IHC on Tuesday, May take five minutes each, and will be 12 and Wednesday, May 13 in the conducted by three members ofthe Master's Office, starting at 7:30PM IHC. The number ofapplicants for each evening. The remaining appli­ each committee will be reduced to cants for Freshman Admissions a shorter list whose members will and Upperclass Admissions will be be interviewed by the entire IHC interviewed on Tuesday as well as on one of the next two evenings. all applicants for Institute Pro­ Preliminary interviews for the grams and Secondary School Freshman Admissions committee Relations. will be on Monday, May 11 in the On Wednesday, those appli­ N Y lounge beginning at 8:00PM. The cants remainingfor UASH and the ~ Curriculum committee preliminary Curriculum committee and all ap­ ~ interviews will' be on Monday in plicants for the Academic Policies {J the Master's Office beginning at committee and the Grievance com­ ~ 7:30PM, and the preliminary ses­ mittee will be interviewed. Anyone ~ sion for both UASH and Upper­ signed up for any ofthese commit­ ~ class Admissions will be held im­ tees should check with their house -§.. mediately afterwards, starting at president for the time of their in­ Sports' p.ay: A Big .Kick-Alumni from around the globe converged on Caltech for this year's Homecoming Sports' 8:30PM. People who ~igned up for terview or see the schedules posted Day. Blbl Jentoft-Nlisen and John Josephson (back to camera) attack the ball in a pas de trois. 'ny of these commIttees should on the door to the Master's Office. 2TH E CALI FORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 1987

I--!------LETTERS------I i:"--:~------few days later, and he explained of $322. She said that agents nor­ that American Excel had decided mally take a kick-back directly From the Editors Caveat Emptor to raise their rates for no real from the insurance company, and reason after I had signed up with that the amount is usually much To the Editors: them. He had talked them out ofit, less than the 30% I paid. She wrote Hear the Whisper-Chippers Wail but the company was so flaky that I got insurance through RSA two letters, one to RSA and one to We take this opportunity to punctuated by a not infrequent rip­ Insurance Services, a one-man they had raised their rates anyway SCI, for me to sign and send in, and were going to cancel me for thank B&G for the service that they roaring snarl. What joy, jubilation organization run by Robert Annis, asking for information. RSA has provide every weekday morning. to wake up to that cheery note! on August 8 of last year. Mr. An­ non-payment of the higher never written me back, but SCI premium. Promptly at 9:00AM they rouse us Birds chirp, flowers blossom, nis asked for a premium of $1359 sent a packet of papers which re­ sleepy-headed Techers and keep us In the mail came two more no­ pendant tree limbs tumble, and our for the whole year, which I paid in vealed Robert Annis' actions. from the evils of Mr tices, with two later dates of chippers chew them to bits krxaxx! full then. This packet contained a copy of Sleep-Too-Much. Our pleasure is marred only by cancellation. Apparently there was the policy as SCI has received it. In February of this year, I another company involved, SCI In­ The lively whisper chippers the knowledge that when the season AFTER I HAD SIGNED THE greet us with their melodic hum, passes, the chippers will retire. received from American Excel, the surance Services. SCI is an agen­ POLICY, someone at RSA has company Mr. Annis had placed me cy just like RSA, located in Pleas­ added a garaging address of RSA. I have written this letter to Dabney Hall, Winnett). Whenever with, a "Notice of Adverse Under­ anton, California. Mr. Annis was Poway, California, which is near writing Decision" and a "Notice of warn the members of the Caltech the virtu-mole-sos feel that late not being much ofa help with these San Diego and where I have never community. night arousal to tinkle the ivories, Cancellation" stating that my in­ multiple cancellations, so I asked been! The cover letter SCI sent surance was to be cancelled on - Gabrielle Gordon perhaps they could employ one of an insurance agent friend of my with this packet indicated that they Lloyd House, 1-54 these secluded instruments. Or per­ February 21. Nothing had happen­ mother's for help. She noticed sev­ had based their original, lower, ed with the policy since August (or haps they could finish their prac­ eral irregularities with the policy. rate on residence in San Diego, but tice sessions before four o'clock in so I thought), so I called Mr. An­ For example, when I got the policy when it became obvious that I live nis about what was going on. He the morning. At bare minimum back from American Excel, it here, had changed the rate to that General Courtesy they could seal the doors of the said he knew nothing about it, but showed an annual rate of $1307; I applicable in Pasadena, which is would investigate. I called him a lounge. assumed the rest was a commission much higher. To the Editors: General courtesy is the topic of Also in the packet were memos There is well documented evi­ this war. Let's win it for the of phone conversations between dence that during World War II Gipper. RSA and SCI, showing that when prisoners in a wide variety of tor­ -Rus May SCI had asked for the higher rate, ture and death camps were tor­ Dabney House, 1-58 Robert Annis had tried to talk them mented with the blood-curdling din out of it; when this failed, he ask­ ofincessant piano playing. In fact, ed them to cancel my policy for the secret diaries of Adolf Hitler THE CALIFORNIA TECH non-payment of premium. This revealed that Rhapsody in Blue and generated the first cancellation Pachelbel Canon were among the Volume LXXXVIII • Number 27 notice WHICH ROBERT ANNIS favorites in Nazi melodo-torture 8 MAY 1987 CLAIMED HE KNEW NO­ techniques. THING ABOUT. In Blacker lounge the war has EDITORS In addition to all this hassle of never ended. Day after night the Ken Haynes finding new insurance, I have Michael Keating Blacker pianos resound with cons­ Jennifer Low found out that when you have a tant tumult. We, the prisoners of cancelled policy on your record, the South houses, have become vic­ ENTERTAINMENT insurance can cost nearly twice as tims of war crimes. Let it be no Nancy Drehwing much! So Mr. Annis has not only more. PHOTOS stolen from me, had has made it Here is a peace pact. Caltech Joey Francis really difficult for me to find in­ possesses at least six pianos on SPORTS surance from companies other than campus which are infinitely far Steve Bard from any listener's ear (Baxter, ANNOUNCEMENTS Josh Kurutz REPORTERS John Beck. Huy Cao PASADENA Steve Gomez • Mark Looper Konstantin Othmer • Glenn Tesler TRANSMISSION CARTOONIST Sandip Biswal AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION SPECIALISTS THE INSIDE WORLD Blacker: James Shih A taste Free estimates Towing available Dabney: Al Petterson Fleming: Brian Hayes Lloyd: Keith Owens, John Wiltse, of Athens 26 N. Hill (at Colorado) (818) 792-6104 and Sho Kuwamoto 10% discount to all Caltech students and faculty Page: James Ibbetson Ricketts: Brian Chizever and Gary fine greek CUlSlne 20% off all Dinners with Caltech ID Ludlam 924 E. Colorado Blvd. Ruddock: Betsy Andrews All sandwiches $3.25 with Caltech ID Pasadena BUSINESS 'h price softdrinks • 90(: domestic beer (818) 793-6664 David Goldreich • Gavin Claypool (with CIT ID & purchase of sandwich) Evan elos and Voula Hiotes IDENTIFY PRODUCTION Nick Smith Greg Susca YOURSELF Glenn Tesler PROVIDER OF THE FAIRMONT Painting and Wallcovering Alan Kwentus

Interior and Exterior Caltech THE CALIFORNIA TECH 107-51 Winnett Student Center Student I.D. California Institute of Technology (818) 249-5646 Pasadena, California 91125 Phone: [818] 356-6154 1986-1987 License #456757 Published weekly except during ex­ Special discounts to Caltech community School Year amination and vacation periods by the Associated Students ofthe California Institute of Technology, Inc. The ~Student opinions expressed herein are strict­ ASCIT FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE 0987654321 ly those of the authors. Letters and announcements are welcome. All contributions should in­ And You'll Get a 20% Discount clude the author's name and phone at number and the intended date of publication. The Editors reserve the The Adventures of right to abridge and edit letters for ex­ pediency, literacy, or other. '~IWfl Turn in copy (preferably on an IBM­ Buckaroo Banzai • ® compatible, WordStar-formatted Mexican Restaurant & Cantina floppy disk) to the Tech office Across the Eighth Dimension mailbox, room 107 Winnett. The Two Nearby Pasadena Locations: deadline for copy is Wednesday at ------5PM; for announcements, Tuesday at BAXTER LECTURE HALL 7:30 & 10:00 p.m. 2936 E. Colorado Blvd. 2060 E. Foothill Blvd. 5PM. Late copy may not be printed Special Showing Saturday 8:00 p. m. Bt',vn. San Gabriel & Madre Btwn. Allen & Sierra Madre even if prior arrangements have been 795-4248 449-7273 made with the editors. In a hurry? We have great. hot take out' Subscription requests should be directed to the business $1 for ASCIT members $1.50 for others manager. Rates are $3.00 per lenn, $8.00 per annum Not valid with any other offer or banquets. Expires 6-30-87. (three tenns), $100 per life. NEXT WEEK: The Andromeda Strain

on the EVI (electronic valve Instrumental Music Program instrument). The Wind Ensemble will also Ballet Achieves perform "Jupiter" from Holst's suite "The Planets." The music will be Final Concerts Approach accompanied by a show of ap­ propriate photos, courtesy ofband Mixed Results by Bill Bing Chamber Music Concert #2 member and JPL computer by David Bruning notones II was a pas de trois oftwo It's been another busy year for Friday, May 15 graphics expert Dr. James Blinn. Last Sunday night's perform­ men and one woman. Both parts the Caltech instrumental music 8:00PM Dabney Lounge A newly arranged version of ance by the Joffrey ballet was a showed off the intricate moves of program. The musicians have, for­ the "Throop Polytechnic Institute mixed bill Qf three ballets, all the dancers and the coordination tunately, quite a few performances This promises to feature March" will make its debut at this choreographed by Frederick Ash­ between all three performers. The left in the schedule. Here's a run­ outstanding performances by some concert. This is always one of our ton. The results were also mixed second was the better of the two down of the final concerts for the of Caltech's finest student musi­ most popular concerts, so arrive a with the ballets ranging from pass­ and provided some of the most in­ year. cians. Program highlights will be little early for the best seats! able to very good. tricate dancing of the evening. Chamber Music Concert #1 the beautiful "Trio in D Minor" for The third ballet was called Les Saturday, May 9 piano, violin, and cello by Men­ Chamber Music Concert #3 The first ballet was called Il­ Patineurs, and represented a Vic­ 8:00PM Dabney Lounge delssohn, as well as a delightful trio Saturday, May 23 luminations, and was a sequence of torian ice-skating party. This was for flute, viola, and piano by Mar­ 8:00PM Ramo Auditorium danced pictures of the images the most entertaining work of the This concert will include some tinu. In addition, there will be a This final chamber music even­ evoked by the poetry of Arthur evening and also contained the particularly interesting composi­ performance of Ingolf Dahl's ex­ ing will have something for Rimbaud. Maybe if you knew the most difficult maneuvers by the tions. You will hear a quartet for citing "Music for Brass In­ everybody. Mozart's masterpiece, poems and what the scenes were dancers. The ballet alternated solos piano and strings written by Men­ struments," a quartet by Teleman the "Quintet for Clarinet and supposed to portray this would or duets with the whole group of delssohn at the age ofthirteen, and and trio by Damase. Strings," will be performed, as well have been more entertaining. As it skaters. The solos and duets con­ a very early trio for flute, bassoon, as a less familiar quartet for oboe stood however, the ballet was very tained very difficult moves, while and piano by Beethoven. In addi­ 8th Annual BANDORAMA and strings by Benjamim Britten. difficult to follow and not even very the group scenes used intricate in­ tion, there will be a divertimento Friday, May 22 There will be music for brass interesting. teractions between all the skaters. by Mozart based upon arias from 8:00PM Ramo Auditorium quintets, a movement of Dvorak's The second ballet consisted of Although the "skaters" were actual­ "The Marriage of Figaro," but ar­ "American" String Quarter, and the two parts, Monotones I and II. ly dancing, it was very easy to ranged for two clarinets and bas­ Bandorama is always a spec­ playful "Suite for Violin, Clarinet, Monotones I was a pas de trois by visualize a 19th-century ice-skating soon. Finally, the program will in­ tacular finish to the year for and Piano" by Darius Milhaud. two women and a man, while Mo- party. clude a trio sonata by Handel and Caltech's Wind Ensemble and jazz Chamber music students at Caltech the original version of the bands. The eighth Bandorama will rarely have the opportunity to per­ celebrated "Canon in D" by be no exception. This year's guest form in Ramo Auditorium, so they Pachelbel. Come to the concert and soloist is Jim Self, virtuoso of the particularly appreciate a large au­ find out what instruments tuba. He will perform Richard dience in this concert hall. The Inside World Pachelbel intended to perform this Strauss' Horn Concerto with the It would be a pleasure to see work. Wind Ensemble, and several pieces you at these concerts. Blacker: 100,000 ways to kill yourself:

1. Drive off the Angeles Crest Highway. 2. Slash your wrists. 3. Break a thermometer and eat it. ·51---I~o~~al ~ou;les Representative 4. Drop your hairdryer in the bathtub. t itterzt:orz, I 5. Lick a scurve's foot. eha~t fo~ fo~rnal Brown 6. Take cyanide. i :llte /inal (we hope) seating the JlSC!EI is posted , 7. Like the BTE guy. a~e life-th~eatening) 8. Dive to 100 feet and hold your breath coming up. , at the 511lJS!/-{\ oCee. !iftheu any tmible (ie, , from page 1 9. Shoot yourself in the face. 10. Steal Tom Wahl's parking spot. pMblern s with the table set-ups please cal! X3691 and beg 'Jlaney to • more confidence in the water we i 11. Jump off a tall building. , ,haag, yau. "aliag. !f},ib" ~ulJ b, h,lpM drink and the air we breath. This 12. Hit the registrar. t would be real national security. 13. Overdose in the steam tunnels. _~. _~ Because ofthe global consequences 14. Jump onto the 210 from the Lake overpass...... 15. Suicide bridge. of pollution, and man's impact on 16. Stick firecrackers up your nose. the environment, to say nothing of 17. Light them. nuclear war, we cannot afford to 18. Cut off your head. think only in terms of national 19. Cut off your body. Correction: 20. Knife into stomach; up and across. security." 21. Plutonium sandwich. Congressman Brown con­ 22. Hang yourself from your skybed with speaker cable. cluded, "Restoring the balance be­ 23. Hang yourself from SA balcony with a CITNET cable. Evans Not the Man tween military and non-military 24. Hit the registrar. R&D, and re-emphasizing the im­ 25. Write Inside World under an assumed name. The Tech calls your atten­ -Arex Physics Students. T. Gould, portance of basic research will Dabney: One palm tree. One nest. Three baby mockingbirds. Five cats at its base. tion to the "What Goes On" his neighbor, should have benefit the health ofour economy, Skitter, the vertical cat. Two baby mockingbirds, one flurry of mockingbird feathers. and make our world and more se­ Two angry adult mockingbirds. One slightly pecked cat. section oflast week. William received credit. The Tech One Dukovrosh. One ladder, one newspaper with one slightly clawed baby mock­ cure place in which to live with all ingbird. One heroic rescue, one startled parent mockingbi~d. Five hackled cats. One Joseph Evans was mistaken­ apologizes for any inconve­ our neighbors. I hope you will join metal palm tree girdle. Skitter, the 9.8 m/sec/sec cat. Skitter, t~e shghtly damag.ed ly given credit for opening nience that we might have me in my efforts to support basic cat. Bill, the clawless and clueless cat for no apparent reason 10 the ffi1ddle ofan otherwise science, and the responsible use of coherent story. nominations for elected posi­ caused with the mistake. See Three eventless hours. One cautious adult mockingbird. One beakful of food. Two technology, to build a stronger and fed chicks. One happy ending. tions with the Society of Mr Evans for details. more secure world." Ninety-five. Bad. Wu Headrest, the man of "that's a g-g-g-g-good qu-qu-qu-qu­ question. Why don't you fig-fig-ure it ou-ou-out? Ninety-five. Bad. Ninety-five dif­ ferential equations. Write on down, pass it around, ninety-four differential equatIOns to solve .... BUY YOUR Ninety-five midterm. Real bad. Flames. Late nights. "It's a three hour and fifteen minute test, due at 3PM today. It's 11 :40 now. That means I don't have to start 1t for CALTECH CARD BURGJER AND SAVE another ...." continued on page 4 CONIITNJENIAl earc "COMPUTER STUFF?" We leatu'Le: ALWAYS 10% OFF for ...... WITH YOUR • CHICKEN TAVOUK KEBAB CALTECH ID • FRESH SEAFOOD SPECIALS flSALES PROUD PROVIDERS -818449-1590 • GOURMET GIANT HAMBURGERS OF CALTECH'S FOOD SERVICES • DAILY SPECIALS ON THE BOARD • REFILLS ON SOFT DRINKS AND SALAD BAR all at ~easonab!e and affo~dab!e p~ices a!! include g~ench f~ies o~ ~ice pilaf, infinite salad, peta b~ead and butte~ FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF MAY A FREE ROOT BEER FLOAT TO ALL JUNIORS, SENIORS AND GRADS

FACULTY, GRAD STUDENTS, ATTEND! 535 SOUTH LAKE AVENUE MONDAYS & TUESDAYS ARE BEER DAYS. HALF PRICE ON BEER. lh BLOCK NORTH OF CALIFORNIA 4THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 1987 More Inside World

from page 3 Tomorrow. Ditch Day. Wise up, frosh. Sheets are for north houses. Sentence fragments. Good literary devices. Forth playing jai-alai (spelled HI-LIE). Tournament. Congrats to Lyle Tallfrosh. Brave and valiant defeat of Ami Shortfrosh 5<11'5 HI5 in antepenultimate round. Ringers? What ringers? You may call them ringers; I call BI{J. W{(IT(5 FKm1 t.1I. eNTW~ it Art. mIlT Hf'5 QIJ!CKlY 15 NMflU405T RA barbecue followed. Karen tasted good, though Pat was slightly stringy. Nomina­ RUK:HI!V6 7HE Vf'f'fR. me 51zeOF tions for new RA's start immediately. LlMIT5 Of ffl

Ae/Bi/Pe 40. Mechanisms of Lawn Dart Fatalities flNOTHf'f{ It was originally thought that a person would have to put forth a great deal ofeffort {l15fIfTCH Ht15 f/IiJ(IVW fl(Ol.17lJP Mll'Ul? in order to receive a mortal lawn dart wound, but now evidence is producing some fj{{J. 7Hf CIlT, IN l..A .... startling conclusions. Art 107. Underground Art Previously unknown works such as Perkins' "Children in a Shark Frenzy," Leather­ face's "Making Chili," and "Hit and Run" will be discussed.

Pa/Ph 4,5,6 and 11 Science for TV News Learn how to take a complex problem, pull some dramatic conclusions out of thin air, and make everything understandable to the members of Band G.

Ps 1000 Lynch Mob-Politics The Sticks and Stones theory, cooperative and some non-cooperative lynchings will be discussed, the "Hangman's Dilemma," and other models.

Casino Night on Saturday with Page! Dress is semi-fonnal (i.e., no cheesy mustaches) and there'll be a live band in front of Alley 5. (so Sue - you'll have to pull yourself away from studying and party just this once.) There's a rumor going round that ED has a nevus fetish, so if you hear it-realize that it's only a rumor so don't believe it (except for the part about ED dating a girl with a hairy nevus the size of a sweatband on her wrist.) Finally, an alley challenge-between two alleys that smell alike. Way to go! Everyone who organized, officiated, participated, and kicked butt from Flem­ ing House at Sports Day. Well, the scurves dropped by and although they (the dry ones) were promptly whooshed, they did give our shower drains quite a workout. (Can you say filth?) By the way, Barry, don't think that the antics (shit) you did in your drunken stupor last Thursday has been forgotten .... - The Poet Loureate! Lloyd: Kahn and Mindy [Mindy walks into apartment carrying groceries] Mindy: Kahn! Kahn, are you home? [Kahn crawls out from underneath the couch] Mindy: Kahn! What are you doing under the couch? Kahn: I am such a wise guy! I am hungry, so I was thinking "Kahn, you are so wise. Where can you get the food?" So I go bravely in the couch to find the treasure of the lost potato chips where no man went before! I am in frontier. Mindy: Let me. make you a sandwich. [Doorbell rings and Mindy opens door] O'Neil: Hi Mindy. Is Kahn here? Mindy: Yeah, he's ... O'Neil: Bye. [slams door] f-. Kahn: He is afraid because I am such a God. Like a knight wearing the armor. I stride to ... M~f{ [Doorbell rings again. Mindy answers.] IIH. /I OF memlilty WHY so HlifPY:' I WHY'S 7H1lT r Jeitner: Hi Mindy. Is Kahn here? Ke5faVSlf}{.£ MltUR5 av .. Yt55IK, I mINK ~'Vf: Mindy: Yes, but. .. HI5 WAY 70 mow WEIf{ FlNlUY K€IICHEI? THE Jeitner: See ya. [picks up skateboard and slams door] tll1~5T WN~ OFMO/?IIl. M1?f/bt ZmlNK "IfO(..Y 6f(AJ1.- • a: 1/1I11' CIIK1CK WIIS HIJMIrllth Kahn: [still ranting and raving from last time] ...the ogres and dragons will cringe WC'~ I/CTlVI.iT KaK /1 O!'£ « ()(/R WiVe5 WHeN roNe 5/£ U1'1511K!?~5re{l (Of{ in my fear! I am impeevious! With I am so wise, I trick them ... 1 [Doorbell rings again.] R16HT-cc-0. IT... \ ' m!?OW!/'IG fI1~ FcCC5 Doug: Is Kahn here, aaaah? ,/' Ofo/ CII5f1/f{ Mindy: What is it with you guys! Why don't you just leave us alone and ... W6INN{((£t{ Doug: You're just mad 'cause you didn't get laid! Ye5T~RmY. '[Mindy slams door] ./ Commercial Break [Scurve and Lloydie are talking in lower crotch] Scurve: How do you get your shirts so clean, Mr. Lee? Lloydie: Ssssshhh! Ancient North House Secret. [Cut to Lloydie's girlfriend] Girlfriend: My Boyfriend! Some hot shot! Here's his Ancient North House Secret: He washes them! [She turns to boyfriend] Girlfriend: Hey! It's laundry time! Scurve: Ancient North House Secret, huh! Now ifI could only get my hair clean ... Neural Networks from page 1 [A sweeping symphonic melody starts, and a rainbow appears on the screen] SELF-SERVICE visit our new location! words were exceptions to general Join us here at the FOX network every saturday morning starting at 6:00 with the rules. "Cute Cuddleywumps", followed by "Kissie Bunny and her Doggie Pals". Starting at When Dr Sejnowski altered the 7:00, we have "Painful Pete and the Nazi Death Squad". Next, it's the "Careless Bears" COPIES Kinko's who will be showing us this week why we don't play with matches or plastic bags. strengths of connections between Wheezy Bear and Near-Sighted Bear get into real trouble .... At 8:00, it's the "In­ Glendale different neurons he found that tergalactic Dino-Mega-Deth-Hell-Bot-Trons I Bugs Bunny Hour". At 9:00, we have even a large amount of damage "Pei-hsiu Herman's Playhouse", and at 10:00, we have our Saturday Morning I 5C I didn't impair the performance of Special: "Nobody Likes Me, Because I'm a Hell-Geek". Yes, it's a fuzzy, happy, death­ 441 N. Brand Blvd. killer time here at the FOX broadcasting network every Saturday morning. Glendale the network significantly. klnko·s copies Other experiments were per­ [back to our program] (818) 500-1811 formed to determine the roles each Mindy: Come on, I'll show you how to use the washing machine. You've been neuron played in the network. As on this planet for a month now, and you've only been wearing four shirts. Open 24 Hours Kahn: Oh NO! When I am young on ark, my parents were such wise guys that NOW OPENl a result of other experiments, Se­ to teach me when I was bad, they put me in dryer, and I kept falling on my head. SEVEN DAYS A WEEK (but not 24 hours) jnowski discovered that one neuron Because of that, I am wise and god-like like them. I do not need what the dryer can was a "vowel detector" that fired teach! I am impeevious! Alone in my quest! To be god-like among the peoples! To whenever a letter corresponded to be .... Copies beyond belief from state-of.the-art Mindy: No, you use the washer and dryer to get clothes clean. any vowel sound, and that other Kahn: No, that is not necessary. I will go forth, in the world, with only my four Xerox copiers for great-looking flyers, newsletters, neurons, or combinations of neu­ trusty shirts. They are like my friends. We will vanquist the evil and free the beautiful brochures, theses, reports, and resumes. rons, responded to specific vowel maiden. We will put red paint and make them think they bleeds ... sounds. -Skeeter, Jethro, and Enos Print quality and incredible speed at prices At Caltech, Sejnowski has pro­ Page: THE BOOK OF SEX that will astound you! grammed a network with the rules In the beginning at Tech there were ten boys, a girl and moral fibre. And God saw of backgammon, but without any that it was bad. In fact, He thought it sucked. Actually He was just annoyed because strategies. The network learned to Mrs. God had had a lot of headaches recently. Anyway, in his infinite wisdom, he appeared before the womenfolk in a vision. play extremely well after playing "Oh hear me, children. Thou art endowed with moral fibre but nine out of ten boys games against both conventional are getting frustrated. Me thinks 'tis time to make a deal." computer programs and humans. And the women replied: Occasionally, however, it made "Oh my, you are so big and mighty. We hear thee and obey. What should we do?" kinko·s moves that even a human novice "Firstly, you must give up your moral fibre. In return I shall raise the hormone level of each and every boy here-excepting those in red shirts, who have discovered would not have made. the evil ways of two men releasing each other's frustrations. I shall then teach you 827 E. Colorado Blvd. Sejnowski received his PhD at the ancient arts of oral, manual, mental, and emotional manipulation so that thou might Princeton, and currently is a pro­ deceive, lie, act two-faced, say "no", and get headaches at will as you toy with the Pasadena fessor in four departments at Johns minds of mortal boys. In your own minds you shall be raised to the unprecedented Hopkins University. He has visited level of sexual goddesses." continued on page 5 (818) 793-6336 Caltech for the last four months. THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 19875

"WITH 1l£IK LI1TC5r ffC{}(?J1, More Inside World THf NEWLY Kft£VflNT I3Olfo/(j[KS WfflV[ TKI1NC£ -t./K£ YfIIH,8(ff IrlftOPlfS THI1T 5t1P OVfr< WWf WE Tf(JlNJem Of :lXlflt KICK RCfIIJ IT from page 4 CCW5CI(}(J5NfS5 /wflINSINllfiTe !JiITr.? flGflIN THfMSELVfS INW YaIR {7f(EflM5.' \ The womenfolk thought about it and replied: / "Thou hast a deal if, and only if, their hormone levels are raised to such an extent that even with strings tied to their genitalia they will remain in blissful ignorance of our antics." "So it shall be. But heed me this warning, women. If thou dost ever venture into the real world there shalt be a rude shock awaiting thee. For there, boys are boys and women only receive the attention they truly deserve." And so it was for many years. But as the years of humility passed, boys, who were ofcourse unaware of their plight, began to feel strange and wonderful feelings. Customs and ideas that had been lost in prehistory were aroused once more. No longer unclear ofthe concepts of self-repect and pussywimps, of shared relationships and love, more boys began to see the light. They spent a lot of time with other female members of the same family; and they learned to laugh at the incredible arrogance oftheir women­ folk. But most of all, they learned how to stand up proud of their celibacy and say: "Yo, bitch! Why don't you c'mon o'er here and gimme some!" Reality was restored. ,1 YCIl.H, lJO'ICD!T 1lII1T So endeth the first book of sex. 50VTH IIfKJCII , Today's reading was taken from the gospel according to random people. Amen. MAN, PArI1CIP KIlIN Okay, people. Having indulged in a little philosophical thought it is now time to 11 KIU5 aM fl5H get really silly for the weekend. Everybody turn to the person next to you and say: t?1fA/? .. "I've always loved you. Voulez-vous te coucher avec moi ce soir?" \ Now that wasn't too difficult, was it. Orgy this Saturday night in Fleming cour­ tyard so be there or be gay. Now come on guys, it's getting towards the end of the school year and I don't want anyone going home to mummy and daddy a vigin still. They're paying a lot of money for you to go to college so let's keep our end (of the bargain) up. For crying out loud, let's git down, git funky and git laid. (Yes, you too can become a serious party animal. For more details send a blank check, no obliga­ tion, to:

Perverts Anonymous c/o Richard 'See-You-Later-If-I-Screw-Up-Once-More' Mgrdechian New York, New York.)

In other world news, that smell in Upper Arlington isn't the rat it's just the after­ math of fifty smelly, asexual, bisexual, 'I'll-take-anything-in-pants-sexual', faggish, bor­ ing nerdly, rabid beasts that constitute the cream of Ricketts. PCD was Wednesday. Thanks go to the boys in red for helping out. Maybe you guys aint so bad after all. But then again ... Have fun at the formal, kiddies, KEEPUPINA -Bruce.

Ricketts: This has been a week of debauchery, drunkenness and general moral filth in Ricketts Hovse. The screwdriver orgy was a resounding success, with screwdrivers in Snatch and Lisa in Broken Cherry. (More on Lisa later.) Dave Lomax gets the prize C GING for highest delta p (at least on the test pre-Alex). (I was told not to mention Gaby in the last sentence.) It is rumored that many frosh were avoiding wet spots that night. A new experience, I'm sure. Caltech barely survived that most hallowed ofRicketts traditions, PCDE. It all began with two minutes forty-one seconds of the golden purity that is Kaluzniakiski. Then WORLD on to the three-inch Blacker Moles, where Lisa's true spirit came out ...both ofthem. Dabney offered no resistance, and Fleming, uncharacteristically, did little more. The Take advantage ofthe wealth of North Houses were the North Houses, of course, with Page being especially wimpy. Vito did throw himself at the spectators. Kori was not pleased. (Note to Blacker knowledge available from your Moles: fire hoses should not be used outside the house.) Government. The U. S. Government Now for one paragraph without mentioning sex. Whoops, try again. Printing Office has just produced Leopold. Ross. Joe. Shroom. Mike. Samer. Hoover. Dan and Laura (still). Alex (but he tries). Gaylon. Glen(n). Bill (there's always one senior). And, unfortunate­ a new catalog. It tells about the 'ly ...but for the sake of Mr. and Mrs. Wiese, I won't give her name. Oh, yes, we most popular books sold by the can't forget Vito. Government-nearly 1,000 in all. But enough of that. Lisa's new pussy, fondly known as Muffin (yum, yum), was displayed in the courtyard. After much petting and stroking, Muffin was voted into Books on business, children, the Hovse. By the way, Richard has one, too, although he may prefer hers. energy, space, and much more. Other naughty bits: Jerry claims that his weekend on the beach at Santa Monica For a free copy ofthis new resulted in no tan lines. Sun burns down there can be really painful, Jer. Speaking catalog, write- ofJerry, he wants me to say "hi" to his parents. Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hauck. Don't worry, your son has been very good, keeping older women company at night when they would otherwise be alone. (But she did complain about his cold floor.) Samer says he has been having 95 problems, but we think he can lower his purity score. An interesting New Catalog silhouette in Satomi's window drew a lot of attention. The obedience school paid off for the Flems. They followed us through all the North Houses during PCDE, six paces Post Office Box 37000 behind and two to the left. Mark's love life is obviously in a shambles. It has been Washington, D.C. 20013 two whole days since his girlfriend was last seen in L.D. Inside sources, who ask that their names not be revealed (Sam), say that Gaby "loves that feather duster." Jeff Greason and Diana Chu have never been mentioned in this section. What's the connection? We want to know. One more thing: Tylis says, RETAKE PICTURES ARE AT 4:00 PM ON SATUR­ DAY IN THE COURTYARD. You're welcome, Tylis. That's the second easiest five bucks I've ever made. Hey, everybody! Brian needs a pseudonym! Until you write in with a better one, it'll be this- - The Great Neck Strangler and The Lit' Cook-Man

Law Offices of Denise M. Breakman & Associates IMMIGRATION 1101 E. Garvey Ave., #104 Monterey Park, CA 91754 Consultation ask for: "A unique restaurant with great food at Attorney Stuart Folinsky a reasonable price." Paralegal Miss Ding -ElmerDills, KABC TV Tel: (818) 573-3700 "Has a nice comfortable patio and inexPensive cuisine." -PauIWallacb. Westwa)'sMagazine LAEMMLE THEATRES Famous for our Swedish pancakes, open-aced sandwiches, fantastic omelets and delicious cakes and pastries ESQUIRE COLORADO 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. Open to serve you Monday thru Saturday 7:30 am-5 pm 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 793-6149 (818) 796-9704 Join us Sundays ------~ ------3 Academy Awards Anthony Hopkins 8am-4pm Anne Bancroft ROOM WITH A VIEW ',25.yearsin plus p_ 84 CHARING Academy Award Winner Reservations accepted • Me a.nd. CROSS ROAD Best Actress - Marlee Matlin .. ·230S. Lake Ave., ~81 . CIDLDREN OF A LESSER GOD acres offree parking' " 6THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 1987 1------sPORTs------1 Tech Sluggers Strike Out

by Doug Oute team in hits and in batting average The Caltech baseball season for the season. ground to a halt last Saturday with The Batting Beavers thank all two heart-breaking losses to those the fans who supported us at our pesky Baptists at Pacific Coast games this season. The team Baptist Bible College (PCBBC). members hope to see you all next This ended our season at 2-27, year. which is not indicative of the way the season actually went. Senior Brett Bush pitched the first game. Jim Burleigh crushed his first homer ofthe season, which might have been a grand slam if a Caltech base-runner had not been PIANIST PETER MACK picked off ofthird on the last pitch MAKES CALIFORNIA DEBUT :;; to Burleigh to end the previous in­ Pianist Peter Mack will give a c.. . 1:: mng. recital Saturday evening beginning at ~ The second game was much 8 p.m. in Ramo Auditorium. Includ­ c<: closer. PCBBC squeaked passed ed on Mr. Mack's program will be E the Beavers by only one run, 7-6. Haydn's Sonata No. 62 in E-flat, ~ In a heretofore unheard of move, Hob. XVI:52; Beethoven's Sonata i: Bush started both games of the No. 21 in C Major, Op. 53 ("Walds­ double-header on the mound for tein"); Janacek's Sonata l.X.1905; Tech. Bush hoped to obtain one Rachmaninoffs Liebesfreud. more victory before his graduation. Sports Day Exdtement- Sprinters participating in the fun of Sports day get off to a good start in this race last Mr. Mack's numerous ac­ Sunday. Participants in the events included students, RA's, Professors, Deans, the MOSH, and even Alumni. The game started off well with Caltech jumping out to a 1-0 lead. complishments include first place in But Tech gave the lead back to the 1985 Sherman Clay Competition PCBBC through an occasional mis­ in Santa Ana. He has also recorded take here and there. Jim Burleigh a series of programs for Radio hit another baseball out ofthe park Te1efis Eireann in Ireland, which Caltech Hosts SCIAC Tourney in the second game. Alas, a minor broadcast a documentary film ofhis technicality interfered and the life. home-plate umpire called Burleigh CIT student tickets to this recital the #3 seed, later won the A Chiu d. D. Abbot, 7-5, 6-3. 2nd by Tung Yin out. are are priced at $6.25; $6.00 rush The Division 3 SCIAC tourna­ singles. Round: R. Chiu d. F. Hinman, def. Brian Colder relieved Bush af­ tickets go on sale the day of the ment in men's tennis concluded at In the B bracket, Steve 3rd Round: B. Junta d. R. Chiu, ter five strong innings by the Caltech Saturday afternoon. Roskowski and Tom Nolan both 6-1,6-2. Final: P. Scholz d. B. show. The CITIJPL faculty and staff starter. Colder continued the strong ticket price is $10.50. They can also When it finished, it determined had difficult draws. Steve played Junta, 6-3, 6-3. pitching. It was in vain, however, the final order ofthe seven schools well but lost to finalist Andrew "B" Bracket: 1st Round: A. as the Beavers came up one run purchase TECHTIX, for the same in the division: Claremont, Chekian, of Claremont. Chekian d. S. Roskowski, 6-2, short. price as CIT student tickets, today Redlands, Occidental, Pomona­ In the C bracket, David Garza 6-3. S. Hilty (Oxy) d. T. Nolan, Two impressive individual per­ between noon and 4:30 p.m. at the Pitzer, Caltech, Whittier, and La outlasted his first round opponent, 6-3,6-0. Final: J. Rende (CMS) formances should be noted here. Caltech Ticket Office. Verne. Caltech did reasonably well Chris Perkins ofWhittier. He then d. A. Chekian, 7 -5, 6-2. Doug Roberts got his 19th and 20th The Mysterious World of in the tournament, earning as many lost to the #1 seed, Matt Gleason "C" Bracket: 1st Round: D. Garza stolen bases ofthe season to top the Magic and lIIusion is returning by points as Pomona Pitzer. of Claremont. In Doubles, Dave d. C. Perkins, 1-6,6-2,6-2. T. single-season record held previous­ popular demand Saturday, May 30 and Gene Pottenger beat the Whitmore (P-P) d. K. Nguyen, ly by Michael Keating. Keating still 6-3, 6-3. 2nd Round: M. with performances at 2 p.m. and 8 In the A bracket, Raleigh Chiu Whittier C team and lost to the holds a slim lead in career thefts. p.m. Magic, sleight of hand and Claremont team, which went on Gleason d. D. Garza, 6-1, 6-3. beat Doug Abbott of Pomona in Also, Jim Bob Coykendall went legerdemain will be showcased in straight sets and then drew a default the win in that bracket. Final: J. Kranz (Red) d. R. Skanse four for eight, to end up leading the because #1 seed Frank Hinman of (Red), 6-4, 6-4. this spectacular show. Claremont was injured. Then in the The team finished the season Featured will be Kevin James' semifinals, Raleigh lost to Ben with a 4-8 league record, with "Magic ofthe '80s," Glenn Falkens­ Junta of Oxy, but he managed to numerous 4 - 5 losses during the Zenith Z-248 Advanced PC,' tein with E.S.Pecially Yours," the score two points for Caltech. season. Magic Castle's "Parlour Magician of Mark Holdsworth played It beats cramming, the Year" Tom Ogden, Frances exceptionally well against Paul SCIAC scores follow: Willard's "The Spirit Cabinet," and Scholz of Claremont, but couldn't "A" Bracket: 1st Round: P. Scholz "Master Magician and Illusionist" quite take the second set. Scholz, d. M. Holdsworth, 6-1, 6-4. R. Chuck Jones and Company. The 2 p.m. show has been specially designed for children as part of Public Events' Family Faire series. This performance will be ap­ proximately 70 minutes in length. CIT student tickets are priced at $4.00 for the matinee and $6.25-5.00-3.73 for the evening show; $6.00 rush tickets go on sale the day of the show. The CIT/JPL faculty and staffticket price is $6.00 Give your brain a breather with this powerful Single Drive for the matinee and $10.50-8.00­ Zenith PC, featuring: Spec!?1 ?tudent Price 5.50 for the evening performance. • Compatibility with virtually all IBM PCIAT® $1,599.00 * They can also purchase TECHTIX, software for the price of CIT student tickets, • MS-DOS-the system that takes you from 20 MB Hard Disk Friday, May 29 between noon and college to career Special Student Price • Superior speed and performance compared to 4:30 p.m. at the Caltech Ticket the IBM PCIAT $2,299.00 * Office. • Up to 80 Megabytes of storage with Hard Disk Also appearing on Saturday, • The ability to run both DOS and XENIX 40 MB Hard Disk May 30 will be the Royal Lichtens­ • And includes EGA video &Microsoft Windows@ Special Student Price (Version 3.1) $2,299.00 tein Quarter Ring Sidewalk Cir­ * cus. Performances will be held at noon and 3:30 p.m. in Ramo Ask about the Special Student Pricing on our other exciting Zenith Personal Auditorium. A potpourri of magic, Computers and Monitors! juggling, small animal acts and more Special Student Prices on the Zenith Z-248 Advanced PC now available at: will be featured. Ticket prices and discounts are the same as those for Zenith Data Systems the matinee performance of The Mysterious World of Magic and Alex Rush Illusion. Tickets to all Caltech Public 213-695-0721 Events can be purchased at the Asic about ourZenith Data Systems Credit Card. Caltech Ticket Office, located just north of the Beckman Auditorium

°MorulornOlincludedmpnces ~ I ccmpuler and lYle rrmrtor per ~ndlvldual parking lot. For further information In any 12-ffiOIllhperlod,PncessubJect Special pnClrJg oller good only on "*~ ..... data tochangewlthoutnollce ,""haseslhrooghZenrlhCmlaclIS) 1 1W"" systems about the exciting Public Events Chiu is seen here stnetchirlg lisledablNebysluoonlS,lacultyand - sIal! f()(lhelr lJNn use No other © 1987, Zenrth Data Systems scheduled this season, call campus in SClAC tournament last discounts apply. Llmll one persOllal 10 semifinals of the difficult "A" level. THE QUALITY GOES IN BEfORE THE NAME GOES ON ext. 4652. THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 19877

ow ere's more anonewa 0 e ...... -...... 0 co e e.

To get ahead in college, it helps if comes with either two built-in 800K lets you run MS-DOS programs. you choose abrilliant roommate. Like a drives, or one drive and an internal Whichever Macintosh you choose, Macintoslrpersonal computer. And now 20-megabyte hard disk. As well as a you can use the latest, most advanced there are two models to choose from. choice of two new keyboards. software. And that means you'll be able The Macintosh Plus, which comes Inside, the SE also has an expan- to work faster, better and smarter. _, with one 800Kdisk drive and afull mega- sion slot, so you can add acard that lets No two ways about it. ~ byte of memory(expandable to four). you share information over acampus- rpJ,.", b b~" And the newMacintosh SE. Which wide network. Or another card that lilepowerto eyour est.

Campus Computing Organization For pricing information call ext. 4612 or stop by Room 15 8 Jorgensen Building

©1987Apple Compute,fllc Apple alldthe Apple lof,o arr! rr!f,istmdtrademarks o/Apple Compute,fllc Macilltosh is atrademark o/Apple Compute,IIlcl\lI'f)()S is aref,istcmftrademark o/MicrosoJi Corp CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 8 MAY 1987 I-----WHAT GOES ON------l

Announcements for What Goes On must Master's Tea .. Help Memorial Day JD Set The little t Straight .I" Chamber Music Concert be submitted on an announcement form All undergraduates are cordially invited Please contact Nancy Drehwing (x3691) Ifyou address is listed incorrectly in the At 8:00 pm on Saturday, May 9, there (available outside 107 Winnett) or on a to the Third Term Master's Tea on Thurs­ if you are interested in helping with a 1986-87 little t (or not listed at all), then send will be a free chamber music concert in plain piece of paper. Please indicate the day, May 21 at 3:00pm, outside the Master's Memorial Day Picnic at the athletic field on your name, class (in 1987-88), major, and Dabney Hall Lounge. This concert will in­ daters) you want the announcement to Office. Tea and coffee will be served with May 25. (when else?) Duties to be assigned correct home address to the little t, 107 - 51. clude some particularly interesting composi­ run. Send announcements to 107-51, or luscious cakes--come and enjoy! include organization and officiation of soc­ tions. You will hear a quartet for piano and put them in the mail slot in the door of cer, softball, inner tube water polo, and Cooking Class strings written by Mendelssohn at the age 107 Winnett. Be A Part Of The Fun i clean-up. On Tuesday, May 12 at 7:30 pm the of thirteen, and a very early trio for flute, Announcements must be received by the KELROF's coming once again! Attention Graduate Students Caltech Y will hold a basic cooking class. bassoon, and piano by Beethoven. In addi­ Tuesday prior to publication. KELROF is a race with 10-person teams Are you interested in meeting Caltech The subject-desserts! Pat Robb will lead tion, there will be a divertimento by Mozart which compete by rulUling consecutive miles Alumni? Saturday, May 16 is Alumni you step-by-step through some of the most based upon arias from "The Marriage of for 24 hours. This year's KELROF will be Seminar Day! The GSC has a limited luscious desserts known to man. Learn to Figaro," but arranged for two clarinets and from 9:00 am May 16th to 9:00 am May number of tickets to the Alumni Seminar make brownies, souped-up chocolate cake, bassoon. Finally, the program will include CLASSIFIED 17th. Get together with your 9 favorite run­ Day dinner on the Olive Walk. These tickets and Becca's Cheesecake. Samples provid­ a trio sonata by Handel and the original ver­ ners (or people) and give a list ofyour team will be given away to graduate students who ed, of course, and the cost is $1.00. Sign sion of the celebrated "Canon in D" by to James Shih (1-60, 578-9370). All would like to meet with visiting alumni. To up in the Y today! Pachelbel. Come to the concert and find out HELP WANTED- members ofthe Caltech community are en­ request a ticket, please send a note to: what instruments Pachelbel intended to per­ couraged to participate. It's real, it's fun, it's Graduate Student Council, Alumni Seminar Grad Student Summer Housing form this work. DONORS NEEDED for off-campus sperm exciting! Day Dinner, Mail Code 218-51. Be sure to Graduate Student summer housing ap­ , bank. Earn up to $105 /wk. For info. call include your name and mail code--the ticket plications are now available in the Housing Feynman On Feynman .f( of (213) 553-3270. Caltech Vice? will be mailed to you ahead of time! Office. Remember, the current academic The Caltech Management Association The GSC is sponsoring a public discus­ year housing contract for the On-Campus presents Dr. Richard P. Feynman on Tues­ EXCELLENT INCOME for part time home sion of present and future campus security Be a Polo Man ~ Graduate Houses expires at 12 noon, June day, May 12 from 5-6 pm in Beckman assembly work. For info. call issues. The meeting will be h~ld in 153 A meeting of folks interested in playing 19 (Friday), 1987. Auditorium. This talk, also open to Caltech 504-641-8003 Ext. 8738. Noyes at 7:30 pm on Tuesday, May 19th. next fall on the Water Polo Team will be staff and retirees, will include Dr. Feyn­ James Minges, Director of Business Ser­ at the P.E. classroom at 5:00PM Tuesday Science Of III Repute l1) man's behind the scenes views of the BANANA REPUBLIC seeks kindred spirits. vices, and Harold Ginder, Security Office May 12. Swim over and be a Polo Man! The Southern California Skeptics and the Challenger Commission's investigation of Caltech Y will present a free public lecture If you'd like to work in a challenging en­ head, will be present to speak and answer the Shuttle disaster. questions, along with ASCIT and GSC S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Meeting $ by Dr. L. Pearce Williams entitled vironment where. innovation walks hand­ representatives. The new parking structure, S.P.E.C.T.R.E., the Caltech Science "Magnetic Fluids and Bumpy Heads." This Scheer Enlightenment in-hand with tradition, please enquire about parking lot security, lighting and campus Fiction Society, will meet at 7:30 pm on lecture, about the scientific controversies Robert Scheer, noted author and Los the following positions: • Store Manager, rekeying are among the topics to be discuss­ Wednesday, 13 May 87, in the Y Lounge surrounding the works of Franz Anton Angeles Times correspondent, will speak on Wednesday, May 13 at 8 pm in Baxter Lec­ responsible for all operations and merchan­ ed. Please attend and help contribute to the (upstairs in Winnett Student Center). We'll Mesmer and Franz Joseph Gall, will take place at 2:00 pm on Sunday, May 10 in Bax­ ture Hall. Mr. Scheer recently visited the dising. Must have previous experience in improvement of campus safety. For further discuss the soon-to-be-available library, and information, call Craig Steele, x4840. our next star party. Free munchies and soda, ter Lecture Hall. Books and literature will Soviet Union, where he interviewed many managing stores over $2M annual sale& Student Space Group Meeting and the sixth and final episode of The Hit­ be available. highly-placed Soviet officials, as well as visiting the Chernobyl disaster site. He will volume (3-4 years). • Associate Manager, On Tuesday, May 5 at 7:30 pm, Caltech chhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. For more in­ ~ discuss recent changes in the U.S.S.R. in Must have previous retail supervisory ex­ SEDS will be showing Apollo 17 and Shuttle fo, call Mark Looper at 304-0006. Bridge Championship an address titled "Mikhail Gorbachev's 61-B movies in the Y Lounge. We will The Caltech Bridge Club is holding a perience (1-2 years) .• Full/Part-Time Foreign Policy and the End of the 'Cold discuss our upcoming star party and possi­ Medieval/Renaissance Pot Luck club championship at 7:00 pm on Monday, Sales, Previous sales experience desired. War'''. ble tour ofJPL. All members ofthe Caltech The Caltech Medieval/Renaissance 11 May in the Red Door Cafe. If you play Mr. Scheer has spoken at Caltech before. • Cashiers, previous experience necessary. Society will be meeting at 3 pm this Sun­ bridge, BE THERE! Also, we will be elec­ community are welcome to attend. His presentations have always proven infor­ Competetive benefits package, career day (May 10) in Clubroom 1, Winnett Stu­ ting officers for next year. ~ mative, provocative, and entertaining. His growth potential. Apply in person or send Aloha Oe dent Center. As usual, it's pot luck, so bring Howzit brah. No forget da meeting dis B.U.S.A.C. Nominations Open latest visit is sponsored by the World Af­ resumes to: Banana Republic, 370 S. Lake food! Saturday (5/9), 1:ooPM for da Hawaii Club. Nominations are open for representatives fairs Forum and the Distinguished Speakers Ave., Pasadena, CA 91101. Goig be in Ruddock dining hall wit ono to B.U.S.A.C. (Biology Undergraduate Stu­ Fund. For further information, call Craig Quasars Steele, x4840. (818) 796-0935). grinds, so no miss em. Latahs. (Note to non­ Dr. David Sanders will speak on "In­ dent Advisory Committee) for next year. members: It's not too late to join. Just come frared Galaxies and the Origin of Quasars" We need two sophomore, two junior, and Lost Hook • , MOTHER'S HELPER POSITION AVAILABLE to the meeting or contact John Kubodera or for next Wednesday's Noon Update. three senior reps. All undergraduates in the I've lost a book (L'Education :Sentimen­ Room and board plus salary in exchange President Biff Yamazaki at 578-9079.) May 13 in Clubroom 1. biology option are eligible. Void where pro­ tale by Fiaubert) that is very important to for weekend help. Babysit two kids, help hibited. Nominations close May 15. Send me-it was a gift from my husband. Please around the house. Must be able to travel nominations to Darin Takemoto (I-53). call me (Jeanne Noda) at x6351 ifyou find ACADEMY For information on the exciting world of the book. two weekends/month with family. Must be , ' B.U.S.A.C., contact your friendly Ametek Luncheon available to travel first week of JUly and last BARBER SHOP neighborhood B.U.S.A.C. rep. Mr. Dennis Stanfill, who heads Stanfill, two weeks in August. Babysit for one even­ Doig & Co., will speak on "LeaderShip: Can ing per week. For more information call: 27 No. Catalina, Pasadena Career Discussion the Force be with You?" at the AMETEK Don't be fooled by the name Bonnie Saland (213) 254-7267 Qp81J Tues.~SIlJ .• 8 A.M.~5 P.M. A Career Discussion on "Entrepreneurs" Leadership Luncheon to be held at the 449~1681 will begin at 7:30 pm on Wednesday, May Athenaeum on Thursday, May 21 at noon. HOUSING- 13 at the Red Door Cafe. Undergrads and The hosted luncheon is the first of a series grad students are welcome. Sponsored by of events, sponsored by AMETEK Corp., SUBLEASE· New roomy apartment, the Gnome Club and the Alumni Associa­ aimed at developing the leadership poten­ Desirable San Raphael Hills tion. Refreshments will be served. balcony, air-conditioned. Near Glenadale 3 ~ath tial ofCaltech students. It will be followed location 3 Bedroom, 1 /4 by workshops, roundtables and possibly Galleria. $350/month. All terms negotiable. plus bonus room. $220,000 internships. Stephanie. (714) 953-7759 work. -lovJilacanadiv~w-honne Please sign up as soon as possible at the (818) 244-4051 home. Caltech Y as there is room for only 100 located on quiet cui de sac. 4 students (graduate & undergraduate). ROOMMATE WANTED Beautiful Pasadena Bedroom plus family room Condo. 2 minutes from Caltech. Prime loca­ $249,000 49 NORTH ALTADENA DRIVE ,.------. tion. Prefer young professional or student. chamiiiig-Ca--r-;ada--honne­ PASADENA Own room. Share utilities. $400/month. with pet" SOLO ,,) school 3 (818) 793-2582 I RagTime I (818) 584-6925. Bedroon. ,"/4 Bath $228,000 • On Greent 4 RESALE CLOTHING t HOUSING WANTED- Call Stephane Strode ALTERATIONS 195-1423 or 190-8300 RESTYLING t fur t ACADEMIC COUPLE with two children, 10 4 WOMEN t MacGre or Realt Inc. TAILORING e M~Thurs.l()'S, F-Sat 16-3 and 14, seek a 3 (or more) bedroom fur­ INVISIBLE REWEAVING I nished home to rent for the 1987-88 • (818) 796-9924 Special rates for Caltech/ JPL community academic year; preferably in South III 1136 E. Green St., PasMeDa • Pasadena, Arcadia, La Canada, Flintridge, .. ------... .., or San Marino. Please telephone Kip Thorne PASADENA SCIENTIFIC or Pat Lyon 356-4598, or write them at ~r PARIAN TRAVEL 130-33 Caltech. .~~';'.~~~~ I TECHNICAL BOOKS -: ...... - OM Caltech Officially Approved VISITING FACULTY desires house for fami­ w, Stllek Selloflff, , Prof,ss;oRlf 'ooks ;n: Most courteous, economical and efficient service ly offive, 6/29-9/1. Call (517) 349-9140. ENGINEElING • HANDBOOKS· SCIENCES· MATH for your official and personal travel needs. SERVICES- AEROSPACE· COMPUTERS· BUSINESS· CODES Free service to you. NURSING· PSYCHOLOGY· ARCHITECTURE· DESIGN WORD PROCESSING for all your needs. For an introductory offer a complimentary $50.00 Reports, resumes, school work. Profes­ - We Specialize in: worth of fine dining checks will be offered- with the sional, fast accurate. Low rates. Pick up purchase of min. $100.00 travel tickets (one per family). & Delivery. Call 449-1126. FAST DELIVERY • SPECIAL ORDERS PHONE ORDERS GENERAL CONTRACTOR Charles Winters, (818) 577-8200 2150 E1 Sereno, Altadena, CA 91001 468 S. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Pasadena M-Thur. 9-6 Fri. 9-5 ~ (818) 797-7809 lie. no. 507618 Saturday )0-4 ~ 194-4499 INSURANCE WAR! We'll beat anyone's prices or don't want your business. 1388 E. WASHINGTON BL. • PASADENA CALTECH Sports cars, mUltiple tickets, good-driver discounts. Request "Caltech Plan." PASADENA, CA 91125 (818) 992-6966 or (213) 873-3303. CALTECH BOOKSTORE- 1/3 OFF THE PARTICLE EXPLOSION: An up to the minute illustrated history of particle physics: the experiments, theories, and STUDENTS personalities; chock-full of color pictures, diagrams, and, computer graphics. LOST & FOUND- Shampoo, Style Cut IF YOU BORROWED the Industrial Research Laboratories in the United States book from MEN Reg. $18.00 NOW $12.00 the Career Development Center, please return it to 08 Parsons-Gates. it is an ex­ WOMEN Reg. $22.00 NOW $15.00 cellent resource and is very valuable to our library. Thank you. RATES $2.50 for first 25 words; 449-6967 ... 1O¢ for each additional word. The California Tech is published weekly except during examination and vacation Send written ad with payment to 107-51. 1009 E. COLORADO • PASADENA periods by Associated Students of the California Institute of Technology, Inc. No charge for on-campus lost & found.