Family Circles Maximizing Relationship Building
Sanctuary New York Partner
Bethie Miller Rabbi & Founder [email protected]
Family Circles
Synopsis Just as the shape of a circle is embracing, centering and ongoing, each Family Circle embraces a small group of 4-7 families, centers around a shared interest (nature or cooking), and meets on an ongoing basis (at least 3 times). This intentional structure maximizes relationship building, facilitates playful, thoughtful and safe communal gatherings during the pandemic, and empowers children, parents and grandparents to be active participants and co-creators of Jewish life.
Engagement Framework Practice
3. DESIGNS opportunities for families to develop relationships with one another
Observed Needs Among Families/Tweens • We're seeking a genuine sense of belonging and communal connection. • We are reluctant to enroll our children (ages 5-8) in a traditional religious school but are eager to introduce them to Jewish learning and living. • We learn more when we use our bodies and senses. • We want to celebrate the High Holidays and Shabbat in person. • We're more comfortable in small groups where we feel seen and heard and safe.
Goals • Make our experience of Jewish life feel less like visiting a museum and more like creating art in a studio • Raise the quality of Jewish education • Create small, ongoing cohorts where each one feels like a family of families • Invest in parents and empower families • Connect families to Sanctuary and PJ Library • Begin building an alternative path to becoming B Mitzvah
Description • Sanctuary built 4 Family Circles over the year: 3 centered around in-person nature walks in the fall months, and one around cooking on Zoom over the winter. • Each Circle included 4-7 families that committed to meeting together 3 times. • Each Circle gathering includes 3 core experiences: 1. Opening relational question that supports children and parents to share of themselves and learn about one another. 2. An embodied experience that is fun and thoughtful, and maybe even pushes people out of their comfort zones. 3. A reading and discussion of a PJ Library book that reinforces the theme of the day.
Family Circles
• More specifically, our Family Nature Circle would meet at different local environmental centers (no more than 30 minutes away) for a walk in the woods together. At some locations, a naturalist would meet with the group to introduce the main features of area or to lead a short program. o For example, on Yom Kippur, we did a composting program to teach the holiday theme of interconnections and oneness, and the kids got to play with composting worms! We ended the morning by reading Red, Blue & Yellow Yarn which offers yet another take on intergenerational connections and shared human experiences. • For the Family Cooking Circle, we started with Tu B'Shevat. As families arrived on Zoom, they were invited to draw pictures of themselves as trees, and then shared those pictures during the opening introductions. We made banana bread together, step by step. Once it went in the oven, we read Netta and Her Plant, and invited the children (many are Kindergarteners) to share how they have grown since last winter. • Rabbi Bethie Miller recruits the participants and leads the Circles, partnering with specialists (naturalists and cooking instructions) when appropriate. Circle themes include holidays and/or Genesis stories.
Impact of Initiative • 22 families have participated in a Family Circle, and have been grateful for small-scale opportunities to gather with other families on Shabbat and Holidays. • The parents appreciate the creative, joyful Jewish experiences that also include time and space to talk with other parents. • Nature really is the perfect setting for the High Holy Days and Shabbat afternoons, and cooking is a beautiful way to explore holiday themes, teachings and rituals. • Overall, adults and children alike enjoy learning by doing.
Learnings/ “Aha” Moment • Rosh HaShanah was an AHA moment. We gathered in the woods, walked and observed the beautiful diversity around us, read a story together, and then heard the call of the shofar. Moving forward, post-pandemic, that will still be how I want to support families to celebrate the holiday! • AHA moment 2 was on Yom Kippur when the children each took a turn reading a page of the PJ book. Since every family got their own copy (thank you PJ Library!), the words and wisdom were literally in their hands. It was a wonderful way to empower the children!
Advice Small is good! Most people don't want to be anonymous! And it's wonderful how parents and children can bond with their peers when they are walking in the woods.