Our massive festival round-up see LS2 16&17

We reveal that movies aren't <<: real LS2 10 No respect "Jewish settlers are a cancer "Leylabi is divisive" ... they are fifth"

Hanif Leyiabi, President of Unite Against LUU Fascism and President of Leeds University Respect

evpre,-. By Alex Doorey & Ben Schofield oreanising the protests culling fur primed incorrectly. Ellis to he sacked in April and ran in -The quote says 'anyone who clear policy it lc; urn to pre- 1'11.1 7 Vote last year's elections for the NUS' occupies someone's land' - it doesn't borders - the land has been taken ille- Welfare Officer. pick out one particular race. It says gally. Person 0 gaffer An activist has been denounced as JSOC member Tasha Remington 'Jewish settlers' because (the land( is "He could have expressed it bet- Person prejudiced and his comments inap. told Leeds Student: "It is extremely not Israeli: according to international ter. but that's the truth of it propriate after making a virulent post law they're illegal settlements.- about Jewish settlers on a student He said that later in the conversa- Re: Leeds lecturer in racism ro elm room. Tasha Remington, tion he had said similm things about Demote Timeyin. Politics second year Han if Leylah i ex-Inter Faith Moroccan settlers who settle in the Democracy and said: "Jewish settlers are cancer Officer and JSOC Western WWII. Communications because they steal land and resources member "YOU could net the strong inter- Officer and pollute Palestine.. They are filth. pretation at the quote if it came from just like anyone else who occupies someone like IBNP leader Nick] someone else's land in that way is." Griffin, who has two pet pigs report- Leylabi is also President of both "It is extremely prejudiced edly culled Anne and Frank.- he We find these comments LUU's Student Respect and Unite and inappropriate. Cancer added. offensive, divisive and Against Fascism chapters. and filth are reminiscent of Members of the Palestinian unhelpful in promoting a The comments were made on the big racist groups." Solidarity group stood by the activist. safe and inclusive campus." chat room at thestudentroom.co.uk iii PAL SOC President Mariam Al- a thread about Leeds Uni lecturer Juaja, President. Palestinian Ellis, who was himself investi- Solidarity said: "Hand is attacking gated for racism at the end of lust Jews attacking peoples land By can- i.UL Democracy and year prejudiced and inappropriate. Cancer cer, he means the spreading of the Communications Officer. Damola Leylabi was posting anonymously and filth arc reminiscent of big racist settlements. Settlers attack physically Timeyin, said: -Hunt I is a committed under the pseudonym Person, but groups. and mentally: they are not regular cit- anti racism activist who has done a also under the Respect party banner. is the antithesis of the words a izens. IDt of work to Case racial tensions on Those chatting with him were able Welfare Officer should be using_ I -The Israeli Government encour- campus. to correctly identify him. The com- would strongly be against. voting .in age occupation by taxing occupants "However we find these com- ment has also been picked up and Hanif when seeing a comment like less and providing more benefit... ments offensive. divisive and unhelp- attributed to him by the far right chat that made in a public forum or "There's a difference between ful in promoting a safe and inclusive room Storinfront_org. indeed. holding those beliefs," Zionism and Judaism• ZiOntSUE is a Which RESPECT member has si Well-known on campus for his But Leylabi stood by his com- political stance, attacking Zionism is Howlpclhiw:e".ever. LUU ret used to con- activism. he was instrumental in ments and said they were being niter- not attacking Judaism, demn Leylatti's right to free political "We don't want tensions on earn- sc:me Newish settlers ale II came, because they steal hind arid rOsOurcefi and poliure Pal“.terse.. They aro filth. 'UV. Ill a amione eise pus, for example with JSOC. because "Lill! remains committed to who occupiOS SOTOtOrie else arid In that way IS. it doesn't ger us anywhere.- she maintaining the freedom for all our added. members to follow individual belief, A spokesperson for the Respect in a positive and harmonious envi- party said: "Hanif has the right to ronment."

LARGE MUM, OF t EEDS 2 leedi SUM awaikedsstudestotg.ulk Rain September22.2006 News

ecently 1 found myself on an bers'. Ah, I was having another one of ness gesticulate in a general ticking Union could have possibly instigated impromptu little tour around those thoughts again; chalk up anoth- motion. Chalk another up. Course. change after change on its all-con- our newly revamped Union er tick on the plan. A sharp about turn generating more circulation space in quering plan so quickly. Unless, of ld R with a senior Union bureaucrat. We brings us chattering bosom buddies to the building will make lives easier in course, the plan had been privately, fie floated down the stairs and arrived at the revamped Essentials area, which a Union suffering from indigestion. known about long before its published ho what used to be STA Travel. now. of Game On used to occupy. "What's So why name one of the new shops date, and Union strategy developed course, an -information point'. Ah, I this for?" I ask. Hiccup? around it? Sc a; thought to myself. 'chalk a sneaky "We've created space.% I was Those cynical sausages amongst Careful, now, Another sharp intake you might be rather shocked when of breath like that and you might pull Ben tick on the Union's plan'. Moving excitedly told. Aside from the issue of trite swiftly along we approach LUU constructing something that doesn't tell you that the Union's masterplan a muscle. Maybe t smell a rat, maybe

By books and its new neighbour, the exist. or at !east can only he con- was only devised in 2006. And the it's just a cucumber and celery 1) smoothie bar. A non-alcoholic drinks structed by a higher being, I nodded outrageous nihilists amongst you smoothie. station, as asked for by 'Union mem- happily and felt my entire conscious- might even dare to question how the UCU still in GLOBAL STUDENT

By Paul Tait

he number of women graduates in Iran is overtaking the number talks with uni of men. A change which promis- circled after the ongoing review and By Paul Tait C, 10 bring about both changes in the appeals stage will have their pay and Job market and a huge social shift. pension protected for three years. Well over half of university stu. Leeds 'JCL.' is still in talks with During this tone we will do all we dents in Iran are now women. Leeds UM over the pay dispute can to help them - through either Professor Majid Abbaspour which resulted from a HERA analy- role or personal development - to explains this is a far cry from the sis of staff roles. return to their expected grade. They past: "When I was doing my bache• The dispute was reinstated on will also benefit from the new staff lor's degree in Iran we had a class of August 9 after talks under the chair- review and development scheme 60 in mechanical engineering with manship of ACAS broke down being rolled out this year.- only four women. Now the number wothout agreement. Some staff had expressed con- has changed a lot - I think this matt Leeds UCU claims that the cern that such development may he because the attitudes of familie--. University has refused to honour its force them into roles they did not ha ve changed," contractual obligation to pay normal enjoy. or were not confident doing. However, the number of female annual increments to some staff. "It is not in the interests of our students in some areas is heginnini: This latest dispute arose after the staff or the University to force peo- to alarm the authorities. some or results of the analysis 'red-circled' ple into unsuitable roles." whom are considering suggestions of nearly WO staff a label -which "We have developed a new pay introducing positive discrimination meant they were being paid more and grading system for all of our in favour of men in certain subjects. than their job demanded. However. 7,000 staff. This is to ensure staff Professor Abbaspour said: As .1 the saint analysis also 'green-cir- are fairly rewarded, with equal pay matter of fact it's starting to gel writ dell' those in line for pay increases. for work of equal value. Tying" A Leeds Uni spokesperson said: "The process has also increased Seemingly, part of the reason for -Before moving to the new system a the amount we pay to staff overall - there being greater numbers of role analysis exercise was carried by approximately £'7M for ca 3.5%) female students in university seem, out to check all staff were being per annum in addition to the recent to he the fact that "men are more moved on to the right [Mint on the pay award." interested in making money". new pay scale. As a result of this The University and UCU met Massoumeh Pahshahie Umidvar, process around 120 academic and again on September 7 and are confi- who is both a student and a workim related staff were moved to a higher dent that sufficient progress is being mother, said: "We women want to grade (green-circled) and fewer than made to enable the required detailed show we are here and we have a lot to IOU academic and related staff were work to be completed. say." "We continue to work with all Journalist and social commentate initially recommended for transfer to a lower grade Fred-circled 1. three campus trade unions to ensure Sayed Laylaz said that women hurl The UCU is disputing the terms we gel the best system for the "seized this historic opportunity" ask! of the effective pay reductions to University of Leeds." hoped that this new generation of red-circled staff - cuts which it says Roth sides agreed to work educated Iranian women will force will mainly affect women, and also towards a detailed agreement being social change in the decades ahead- announced by the end September the pensions of staff once they have Working women are a relatively V 2006. retired. new phenomenon in Iran. but' However. Leeds UM defends the younger women are increasingly' Al the time of press, Leeds LICU nor labelling. A spokesperson said: "We unwilling to accept. more traditional are currently undertaking a revive its national parent had returned TALKS! the UCU and Uni have social roles. requests for comment. been meeting to resolve pay issues process. Any staff that remain red-

LSI Want to get yourself Editor: Ben Schofield; Associate Editor: Ky Cape! involved with Contact Leeds Student; News Editors: Alex Doorey, Charlotte Griffiths, Paul Tait (a) PO Box 157, Leeds, LS I 1U1-1 Leeds Student? (0.0113 380 1450 Features: Jessica Parker. James Gardiner, Phil Spooner (f) 0113 380 1205 Comment: Hind Hassan (e) editor@ leedsstudent.org. uk Meeting today (Friday) (w) www.leedsstudent.org.uk at 5pm in the LS office, Sport: Adam Lord, Ahran , Mike Niles first floor of the Union Photography-.. aunts Dalzell, Patrick Nixon Ma 11111.koodssiudentoeg.0 k 1 3001011100122. 2006 3 Skating smoothie the idea over here, but when we got By Alex Doorey back and finished our degrees we took a year out and founded the Smoothie Company." Many a student may be lured by the The company has been a huge sue• promoters lining the flyer 'gauntlet' on cess with students looking for a health- the way past the Parkinson building, but ly snack between leetures.The stylish one of Leeds' chicest student hangouts bar, tucked away behind Chareo's, is hoping to glide past its competition serves delicious freshly blended fruit buy advertising not just with flyers, but and dairy smoothies. alongside its range with freestyle skaters. of healthy sandwiches and paninis that The company, opened in 2004 by the company prepare daily. for the two Leeds University students, has brave, there are also shots of wheat- brought in British marathon skate and grass (grown in the window box of the freestyle champion Naomi Grigg, 27 serving hatch). Since. their collabora- and Hyde Park resident John Kirkham. tion with local promoters, they have 22 to freestyle skate around the started off the Spark promotion and University handing out the smoothie launched a successful loyalty card. bar's promotional material. The pair of Their stringent recycling efforts and skaters became involved in the compa- commitment to fair trade have also ny after dropping in for a smoothie last proved successful. year. When asked where next for the com- "The girls were really interested in pany, Lucy announced plans for a sec- what we do and learning to skate. and ond Smoothie Company in the corpo- we stayed in touch." said John. Both rate section of Leeds. 'We are looking skating since childhood have been suc- for the year round trade that we can't cessful in both competitions and estab- get from University students, who are lishing their own skate classes: John only here for thirty live weeks of the has already started to set up a class for year' Lucy said 'Eventually we hope to students in the Hyde Park area. set up a chain and franchise the compa- "The Smoothie Company could not ny. We think we have developed an idea be happier with the results. Joint owner hard to find in many places'. The Lucy Eatoug.h. 25. said 'the campaign Passionfruit smoothie is delicious, and has been so successful. Our problem the salmon and cream cheese bagels has been our location,and now even our come highly reccornended. balloons are advertising us'. Lucy set up the company with University friend For more information about Claire Kok, 25 after they visited a joining a skate freestyle class FREE WHEELIN': Naomi Grigg and John Kirkham bladed across the front of the tint to promote the Grads' smoothie bar whilst travelling in in the Leeds area, go to business. PH- firma Datzeil "We jokingly said we'd bring www.northernroll.co.uk Passion and cash Cold call for NUS card university's for grads (and the unknown now an exclusively paid-for commodi- By Paul Tait ty, number The NUS claims that the card was girls are on top) "in part designed to bring in increased By Alex Doorey The NUS has launched a controversial revenue for the National. Union, but new paid-for 'Extra' card to sit along- also to address the needs of modern side its standard offering. students." The card was "forced through" at Market research was earned out by The unisersily service nightline has the very hest of the best, less than one found itself under threat this week By Alex Doorey per cent of candidates make it on the last year's NUS conference, according NUS Services Ltd who were asked to to one attendee, where the spiralling look at what students spend their mon- after a damning internal survey found police high development scheme and it nearly useless. those who are successful can expect a costs of the NUS were being addressed. ey on and what they think would be The NUS has faced criticism over fair amount to pay for an increased Part of the union's service to stu- "Passion" and "cash" have emerged as high level of responsibility and an early dents in difficulty, nightline offers the top draws for graduates in a recent taste of leadership". the card as the standard NUS card no range of discounts. The NUS believes longer entitles the bearer to standard that the greater availability of student everything from your nearest pizza survey by firm Blue Rubicon. A good salary instated as the top fac- place, bus times, cinema information Graduate career choice is governed tor (5g per cent) for graduates opting to student discounts. Students must pur- discounts - currently running at around chase the new Extra card, at a cost of 130 companies • is worth the £10 fee of and the nightbus to a 'just listening' by both the head and the heart according work in the privae sector, and as many service for students struggling under to the research carried out on behalf of as 65 per cent said they were disappoint- £ 10. to receive discounts from partici- the card. pating companies. Some criticism has also arisen from exam or personal pressure. the Police High Potential Development ed with their pay packet_ Although the service cannot offer Scheme (-1PD). The survey questioned It's good news for the girls though. Extra is touted by the NUS as offer- students.Mike Bell, a second year stu- ing a "wide range and number of dis- dent studying maths said "lt is ridicu- counselling advice because it is run 646 graduate employees in the first five striding ahead using their contribution by students, it can direct students to to society to gain higher places of counts. However, if students do not lous that again, how much money you years of their career, and respondents the University's counselling service. were most impressed when told that a responsibility (over a quarter put in the want to buy the card, they are still enti- have is restricting you at university. tled to free membership of NUS and NUS should he for everyone. and Uni however. the survey found that only job as a Police Chief Inspector was a extra for theirwarking society as five per cent of students had found opposed to just fifteen per cent of men). automatic entitlement to all of our dem- is all about the eqaul opportunities role attainable within seven years, from nightline useful, with the reasons why a list containing GP, university lecturer, Tellingly, the number of students ocratic structures and processes with available to everyone. This idea just the NUS democracy card." contradicts that". not cited as 'never had a use for it'. and journalist, amongst others. jumping ship was twice as likely in the This leaves the service in jeapardy, private sector (21 per cent as opposed to "They are also able to get involved Stephen Martin, 21 a physics finalist .Hilary Owen of the Head of Police and there have been calls for the clos- 14 per cent planning on leaving their in all of our campaigning work, and to was also unimpressed. "NUS cards Leadership Services at the home Office er scrutinisation of other union serv- was pleased by the result,especially the private sector job within six months. access the advice and support we offer often aren't the most important thing to to students both on the web and get at uni, your student card is_ They ices, particularly if they are a draw on force's position_ "It is encouraging to Loyalty and job satisfaction were rated funds. see the police serivice rated so highly, far more highly amongst public sector through our research and policy offi- should be good enough on their own, cers." and I am delighted at the respect that workers, who are more likely to stay but sometimes you can have problems senior police officers command. Only within their field for longer. It does mean that discounts previ- with them at other unions. Maybe they ously offered to students for free are should deal with that first." 4 Leeds Studeiit vewaieedsstudeilLorg.0 k i Solitedeer 22.2006

Leeds geneticist close to success A geneticist from Leeds University Loold Cadets' German be on the brink of discovemg an important revelation in treating a disfiguring eondi- bon that has scat Children in Pakistan socially Molated and untreated. The e.tinth- non Mierneephaly is a rare distader in training camp is a Britain. but prominent enough in theAsian communities of north England for Wusxls to take notice. He Found that the disorder. which had previously been believed to he inflieled on children by priests or *awe (nit people resounding success Masters. rani hi families and that relied on a double recessive gene in order to exhib- By Charlotte Griffiths field. it hestf in huncins. andthc-mtbre could he The exercise involved 175 officer avoided if just one parent was not actin • cadets and took place from June 23 to Fir, Mr Woixt's discovery was investigated The Leeds University Officers' July K. by the BBC cart the summer during the Training Corps have successfully The unique location of the event series rititles us human? completed their two week annual provided cadets with the opportunity army exercise in Sennelaget. to visit the site of a haute and a for- Save a fresher . mer SS headquarters_ an educational Beef and Lamb Executive have This is the first time the the CIO 1"C experience designed to contextualise set up a twenty tow how hotline. "Save have crave led abroad and it provided the history of the British Army to the our &Limed-is' for Freshers strugeline in the opportunity to see and practice in cadets. the kitchen_ the site of a former World War battle- Victoria Cowan, a second year The hotline offers. friendly culinary Psychology student said "The advice from .a simple budget bolagnese to Paderborn battlefield tour was a vet); au impressive Pan Asian stir-fry, anti is humbling experience. standing on the available until 4th October. The recipres site where so many lost their lives are also available to download as podcasts really put our Irainine into context." front the company's newly launched she As the culmination of a year of www lieetyan titian hy eciuktSCIS. training. the camp was nut an easy -Developed and narrated by EBLEX holiday. The Commanders Challenge Food Advisor Denise Spimeer• Walker, the comprised in live Firing and Shooting recipes have beeit hailed as heine both competitions. mine clearance and a Strategy: members of the healthy and eaciting without Freaking the Warrior simulator. testing the physi- 4ri their next mote. hank. cal, mental and leadership abilities of It also encourages students, to cook Challenge really tests your leadership c to the town close by. Celebrating the cadets. potential and your ability to dunk in Sennegaler Town was certainly with British rivals, instead of relying on John Mattocks-Wright, a platoon microwave meats and mash.E.FiLFX stu- under pressure." The social world of very different experience from a sergeant and third year history stu- the UOTC has always been V en night out in Leeds." dent-hotline opens this week on ft 1-19-1 (170 dent From Leeds University, said 107. Coconut Bi.vf Macteis onie' hiehly important to the cadets. and this The traditional regimental dinner 'This year's annual camp was a great year's social highlight was the twen- was held on the last night of the reccornmended. opportunity to see how the British ty first birthday of of Jamie Milne, a camp, where all the hard work of Army operate in germany. I live for third year Geographical Sciences stu- those involved was acknowledged. Leeds stops the UOTC, so I relished a chance to dent. He said "I don't think I could Leeds UOTC. will be holding open undergo training that is very different have been in a better place for my days on the 23rd of September and a hate crime to that we: have done back home." birthday. selection weekend between from the Ashleigh Gregory, a Biochemistry "1 was away with my friends doing 29th of September. Twenty-lour hour support for all victims student has now graduated and will of hate crime is now available throughout what 1 love. For more information visit: he continuing her training at -- We started in the Officers Mess with the and Fltunberaide region. A Sandhurst, said: "The Commanders hotline set up by the Leeds Racial the rest of the unit and then we head- wvi,warmy.rnottuk/luote tarassment Project is now available, pro- iihog u confidential alternative to mewl- ing tonic police. It gives callers the oppoF lenity to talk about their experience. to a First meeting for trained opeiator whit4.an pros tell in tonna- hi in about services and courses 01 action. Beat of crime or simply a listening serme. w budding writers, Infoination is only passed on to the By Alex Donrey Leeds Um and the Met. anti. in pollee or other agencies with the consent response to the crime wave amine of the caller. who can alto remain anony- Freshers' Week last year. both the Police and University authorities S designers and mous. The hotline. 0800 13h1 Ifils is also Bubbles 011 the Leeds beat we hoping have announced a massive city-wade available to witnesses of hate crime who to be top of the pods with their latest crackdown and campaign to control wish to report it. Leeds Racial Harassment anti-crime Mitiative. this year's moving in period. I_ photographers: Protect said. ' A hate crime is any offence West Yorkshire Police are upgrad- Detective Inspector John Murray that is percieved by the victim or any oth- ing their methods of crime prevention of the Chine Reduction Unit said; er person as• a motivated by hate of racial to get their message across to the stu- -We want to welcome students and or sexual orientation. and is illegal. dents of Leeds. pros ids support and reassurance. should always he reported, and we hope to Hi•tech new methods of corranuni • while the become acclimatised to till- Friday September improve reports to stamp out hate crime'. cation w ill include regular podeasts er new environment, This is the first and broadcasts in other MP3 formats, lirtie we have used INdcastq anti they text messages and email. Z 22nd, 5pm Moving house? are a great way of gentile messages A new website has been set tip in order to Force websitc manager John across RI students, - help _students tin the move to have their Brooke: said: "More and more people And there will lie attractive incen- are ,joining the podcast revolution. hills and personal accounts delivered to tives to Lite the new schemes, Mr downloading MP3 audio files to lit• their new address. '!'he new wehrsite. Brooke added that there will be len to 011 their computer." W All welcome www.iammoving_com, walla its student "prizes of iPods and digital cameras members to keep suppliers. friends and He also mentioned the input from on offer to those who return our last year's freshers: "Good advice family up to date with addmsses to reduce online student feedback forms." identity fraud_ It allows students to regis- front students last year was encorpo- More information is available ter a change in their details instantly avail- rated into safely pages to improve our online from the West Yorkshire Police able to selected companies that students content, and make it more appropri Force wchsite_ Leeds Student, First Floor, deal wilt The free service already has over ate." 2 a million members. Thousands of students will arrive wwwwestyorksh irepolice.co.uk. in Leeds this month to study at both Leeds University Union

Leeds SOWN vestokedssludemerguk Rills September 22, 2006 5 "Failure of democracy"

having written for the paper betore, lose his job, but this is unlikely I can By Paul Tait nor. according to other gosstpers, only holm: the next editor is someone haying even read it with a vague interest in join:151 ism. Miffed Manchester students are mak- One contributor' to the Wikisi.tectus Despite genuine volunteer student ing their voices heard about what they page described the newspapet as journalists putting many hours of see as the "failure of democracy" being "caught up in the hard work into it, he still managed to after the new editor of their newspa- IslinniciSocialist coup of the Students screw it up" per took office. Union in 2006" and branded it a Mr Rafiq has already caused Some students are so incensed by "propaganda machine for a heavily offence after his outrageous criticism Saajid Rafiq's apparent lack of jour- left-wing RESPECT party agenda." of Oxford's well established student nalistic knowledge that they have An email was sent out to student paper and 's Garr. written damning reports of his edito- newspaper editors this wecl detailing "No-one even knows why he ran rial capabilities on the student union's Mr Rafiq's failures and the for the job, other than the concept. that •Wikispectus'. Manchester staff's embarassment at ii is a nice concept to have one's own One anonymous commenter says: having to work under him. The newspaper" the soucree concluded. Hall PI-Up Stucar anonymous source continued: "Rally When confronted with these damn- "If he continues to neglect the duties that he is paid to do (ie. turn up every was sadly elected in a campus wide ing allegations Mr Rafiq had no com- day) there is a small chance that he election with a turnout of only Five ment and, at time of press. the Dropp per cent. Unfortunately Manchester Student Direct website was down. could lose his job, but this is unlikely. may be stuck with him for the next - mioniton 14• '44.1.• 114 ce Rafiq took up the editor's post at • AMU 44 i_fwen,l'Arlt end HU Student Direct after allegedly not year. There is a small chance he might www.student-direet.co.uk draridliynet - 1.0 Ow • 11' • 11fl0 tun., tuOrtei iu he 111111 Leeds University Union Litton Place (off Woodhouse Lane) 132 9,2 For further information and full listings see www.leedstickets.com The Cult The Goo Goo Dolls The Refectory The Refectory Sot 23rd Sept. doors open 7pm, £22.50 adv. Fri 29th Sept. doors open 7,30pm. £1 7,50 adv, Wax:On feat. Erol Alkan, Simian Mobile Babyshambles Leeds tops The Refectory , & Annie Mac man 2nd Oct doors open 7 I 5prn, El 7 adv, Stylus & Pulse Sot 23rd Sept, doors open 10pm, £10 adv. national poll Jo Whiley New Music Tour All American Rejects feat. Scott Matthews The Refectory Stylus for turnout Sun 24th Sept. doors open 7.30prn, £14 adv . Wed 4th Oct. doors open 9pm, £6 adv. The Tunnel Club feat. The Sugars 1 Xtra Tour rates Mine feat. Double & Bailey the results of last yeah survey, and the Tue 26th Sept. doors open 10pm, £3.50 adv. Stylus By Charlotte Griffiths wide range of initiatives and improve- Mon 9th Oct,doors open 10pm, £5 odv . ments that have been introduced" Despite the significant local improve- ments that have resulted from the first sur- Results of the National Student Survey Goldie Lookin' Chain vey in 2005. Leeds University is still lag- have revealed that Leeds students contin- ging behind some of its peers. coming NME Rock n Roll Riot Tour ue to be sau.sfiecl with their overall univer- Sound System 76111 this year in the overall satisfaction feat. The Fratellis & more sity experience. category with an average 'overall satisfac- feat. Maggot and P Xain This is the second year that the NSS The Refectory tion' score of 3.5 out of a possible five, Stylus has conducted the survey, which assesses Vivien Jones, pro Vice Chancellor for Wed 27th Sept, doors open 10pm, £6 adv. Tues 10th Oct, doors open 7pm, £ 11,50 adv. what higher education students think Learning and Teaching hopes that with the about their learning and teaching experi- new information ling can be rectified: "We ence. now have two years of NSS results to covered six main The 22 questions work with, and fmm this year they will be Legends of the Dark Black Dirty Sanchez learning and teaching areas and most supplemented with our internal student r sponses indicated high levels of satisfac- feat. Grooverider Stylus satisfaction surveys. tion. Of the 1570X1responics nationally. Stylus, Pulse & Mine Wed Ilth Oct, doors open 8pm, £10 adv, "Using this information, it is important over 50 per cent 'mostly agreed' that that that staff and students continue the excel- Thu 28th Sept. doors open 10pm, £l0 adv. they were satisfied with the quality of their work already begun in response to last course and only ten per cent 'definitely years NSS and more generally through the ALSO ON SALE AT WWW.LEEDSTICKETS.COM: disagreed'. 'Students Really Matter' strategy. if we do ono, 11 Ili, OetJ With 67 per cent of its students partici- Jarnie T f 1 2ih Ocij, The AWdinc;111G (15th 001, XFM rentix tout I181n °cll. 126th Oct) Drectozone 126th so we can be confident that we shall deliv- Dol. De to Soul (Ist Nov), Hoi ace Andy (2nd Nov), MTV? Spanking New music Tout (81t5 Nov), Rancid 11111i Novt [toilet Fm My pating, Michael Arthur, Vice Chancellor er an excellent student experience across .4a/entitle 113Ih Nov).The Fooling (22nd Nov). 42uonllc Soul Otchesha (22nd Nov). Dirty Pretty fhingl 128th Noyj the MogIc Numbers of Leeds and Chair of the NSS steering the University." ,FrER:idie mcGregat Both Nov I DJ Shadow {31:1111 Noy1.0id.ijOh 1151 Dee), The Human I. esmue Ion% Dee), Tlrb Fain) group, hopes that the results will lead to Many students are unaware of the Dec) lostatophets (71h Dee) Paolo Nplini 1811, Dad) positive ehangs: "I am pleased to see the L•rds' ongoing battles their student bodies con- NOW SOLD OUT: the Kooks ono We Are Scientists positive response made by institutions to test 6 Inds Swims WiliVif.iCe&:.;tiltiolikorg. k Rift $800111bef n .2oes Want to write for Leeds Student?, Fridays, 5pm. LS Office First floor, LUU.

le MOW. emeowlis 110 '

Leeds SUM Hockey shame `Racist' lecturer Lecturers plan strike

—.1■" =or vi 1=11r--3=V—Ta—. =13=1:121=. Leeds Student wwwJeedsstudenterg. k Wait September 22, 2006 I 300 Seconds DAVE: LUU GENERAL SECRETARY 1988

I interviewed 1111411VeLl with the Union: at the uni. We raised 0.107 one year OF{: Oh that's what I St anted in -.ay' I DH: Well. I wrote hits and pieces for LS: What did you do after that? have a bone to pick with you. When Strummer, but the Leeds Student. articles on a libera- Well. after uni I went off to Eritrea was here, you lot lost something of we were both tion movement I was follom ing, gig myself to get some feedback for the stu- mine. wasted 15 reviews, modern dance... dents that had given us so much to IS: Sony, go on what was it LC: Modern dame!? donate. Then i went and taught in DiL Well. when I lived in 'Charles DH: Yes there was a great dance scene Egypt... Morris in first year. Joe Strummer went in Leeds at the time LS: You've done a hell of a lot. missing. It was it big thing nt the time. Name: Dave Hampson LS: Are you much of a dancer? DII: Well, I had the resources to teach. and everyone kneW about it. Anyway. DM No, I'm not classically trained or 1 studied French and Arahic it. they had some argument with The Occupation: Aid anything! 1 just like it. I love dancing. University. Alarm. l can't remember what. but Worker and represen- But anyway, I got involved with the LS Working aside, where were your when there was an Alarm gig on. he tative and former Union when I voted to gel rid of the to haunts during your time here? would turn up and husk outside. lie did General Secretary of position of President, in favour of a Any tips for student drinkers? it so that none of the people going to the Genera! Secretary role. Two years later DM Well. I was at Charlie Mo in first. gig would go in, they'd stay out there the Union I found myself as the General year, then I moved to Chestnut Avenue. with him. So anyway. I ended up meet- Secretary! We drank locally really, I loved the ing him in such a situation. and I inter- LS: So what did that entail? Fenton is that still there? viewed him! DIP Vv'ell, 1 was Me Union's rep. I rep- LS: It sure is IS: Really!? resented them at meetings, councils, DII: Good! And obviously. 1 drank in Yes! For hours! In the Faversham. IS: Good afternoon Dave. Flow's it feel that. kind of thing the Union. You should always try to put. IS What about!? to be buck? IS: They're recvaulating the roles in hack. Apart from that. it was Bradford Well, it was a pretty rambling DH: It's good. so much has changed, the onion again at the moment.. for curries: I'm going there next to see interview. We were both leathered. We the Union looks realty smart and I like OH: Yes I know. Things always come if my favourite curry houses arc still were there for ages. so we were pretty what they've done with the basement. full circle don't. they? i think that's very around. Reggae was massive in wasted. LS: Yes, it's better than it WilS..S0 any- interesting. Charieltown, and the Playhouse some- IS: Oh. way, what brings you back to Leeds? LS: So was the Union a politically times. Obviously it was the Yorkshire But then again, I can't remember DH: Well, I lust wanted to see how it charged place at the time? playhouse hack then. We put on loads because Leeds Student lost my tape was (Dave came into the Leeds Student DII: Oh yes. Leeds has always had a of gigs ourselves though, because we recording nt it.! 1 gave it to them and office and had a browse through the very active union that I was proud to he were trying to raise money for the liber- they lost it archives!. 1 hear Tony the porter's still a part out Lc progressive and active. for ation. IS: have a look when I go to the here, he was a proper wide boy when I example, I was in the Eritrean libera- IS You were a busy man. DLIVe. busier office. was around. tion movements in my time here. and 1 than your average student nowadays. DII: Thanks. LS: Groovy. So how did you get organised workshops and raised funds We like instead. Welcome tent trashed

was described as "minimal", it took By Alex Doorey almost two hours to get the tent hack to normal - time which two members of staff were keen to point out could have been spent belping.. Bleary-eyed freshers who were on II is uncertain whether anything campus on Saturday or Sunday morn was stolen from the welcome tent, and ing were greeted by a "trashed" is thought to he likely that drunken Welcome Tent outside Leeds students after harmless fun were the University Union. culprits. However, most student s we The lent, which was acting as an asked had other ideas information pOint, was upturned by Hannah 13:Hes. I9. a Arse year student drunken revellers on Friday night and said. such a shame that there is again on the following evening. always someone to ruin things for lam-staff were tusked with clear- everyone else, the welenme tent has ing up the broken signage. upturned been really useful for me and my tables, ripped posters and mangled friends, as we don't really know stalls. where we are going Everyone has The clean up operation look almost been so helpful and I just hope that if two hours and LUU staff were assist- freshers have done this they regret it ed by members of the Christian when they are getting lost for the first Union. two weeks'. The tent, One member of staff overheard run fur students by students during several freshers in the corning of the freshers week is a successful colleent tent discussing the antics of the previ- every year, with older students guid- ous night. Another said that -three ing the uncertain. drunk students were seen hanging The news comes during Leeds around close to the tent on Friday citywide crackdown on theft and crim- evening. , inal acts during freshers' week, to pre- Another said: 'We were definitely vent the high crime rules during that getting runny looks as we were clean- time last year. The police are working ing up. It was fairly inconvenient for MINDLESS: LUU's Welcome Tent was smashed up two nights in a row. Frustrated staff had to put it back with local authorities and the people who needed our help'. together again before this week's freshers influx, PHOTO Patrick Nixon University itself. Although the overall harm done Leeds Meet vevakedsstrelettorg.uk Wee September 22.2006 ecreating 9-11 Just over five years ago two planes crashed into the sides of the World Trade Centers and, along with wars and tragedies, created one of the most striking images of modern times. examines how the image has been used in art and the outrage it has met with in response. is been live years since it happened, an unwillingness - conscious or uncon- but in that time the image of the scious - to make this distinction. The Itwin towers has lust none of its potency. Whether in images of the tow- ers themselves, replayed in the news, or one of the dramatic recreations which Damien Hirst_ point- mark the films which have been ed out me artistic released already, it is an image guaran- teed to create some sort of emotional value of the terrorist impact. In America especially, these act - describing it as can raise considerable controversy: many see the images as had taste, some visually stunning" and as obscene, but many artists continue to 'an At tv.-nrk in its own use them as material. Damien Hirst. in an interview with BBC News Online after the first anniversary of September I 1 ih, pointed out the artistic value of the terrorist act - describing it as "visually stunning". fact is that many artists take this into and like "an artwork in its own right". account, and test the extent to which Needless to say, this cold but somehow this can stretch. simply reinforces the apt summary caused rather an uproar. point. The artist's statement relies on its audi- It has always carried with it the abil- ence being able to separate the aesthet- ity, perhaps necessity. to shock: you've ic and the political: to look at the sub- just got to think about Hirst's reputation ject while detached from its context. for formaldehyde-preserved, dissected Art's ability to shock often stems from animals as example. An image as strong as that of the World Trade Centre will always lead, somewhat inevitably, to its use as art And when it is. eventually. used as art. this too will lead to an inevitable reaction against it, from at least a fraction of its audience. It's unsurprising that this has proven to be a case with the images in question. With its far reaching political, emotional and social connotations the twin towers are an excellent source for artists to refer- ence: musicians from Neil Young to the Wu-Tang Clan have addressed the Mickey's Taliban Adventure by attacks, mostly without courting a great IMPACT: An image recreated time and time again that has still lost its ability to shock deal of controversy, but each of these Scottish Artist, Alan Bennie Wag September 22, 2006 - vAvideetbstudenLortiuk - needs 9

sculpture by the respected artist Erie Fisehl, was covered, shielded and eventually removed from the Rockefeller Centre after a handful of complaints from the public. The sculpture shows, in bronze, a woman falling from the Lowers: this is not dis- respectful. trivialising or insensitive and yet it still generated complaints and anger simply for showing some- thing which. in the oyes of many of the public. should not be seen. When a demand for respectful or 'proper' use is enforced with the removal of the piece concerned. one enters the territory of censorship. Films in production around the time of the attacks which contained any- thing than may have evoked the disas- ter edited, delayed or cancelled to forestall any complaints of insensitiv- ity: Zoolander, Lilo & Stitch and Nosebleed were all victims of this hypersensitivity. The final step towards taboo is when an itself k forced to pretend that something has- n't happened. when even those who are out to shock are too afraid or too Fischl's The Tumbling Woman, withdrawn from the Rockefeller pessimistic to Use an image, from the Center after complaints resigned belief that no-one will show it. There is a line to tread. then, examples have generally been ical end of the spectrum, this might be between raising eyebrows and raising a calculated attempt to raise the pro- restrained or respectful. a mob: to shock without causing anger "BIGGER IS BETTER: SIZE file and the buying-price of a piece of or hurt, art. those who'd rather look at it in a DOES MATTER", a painting installa- Both subject and treatment play a tion by Alison Moore. portrays more humanitarian way might see this rule in how controversial a piece of art more as an attempt to raise awareness George W. Bush in cowboy-attire, is and this comes across in the cine- for the issue the piece concerns. In the with the twin towers protruding from matic treatments of 9111. The recent example of Moore's installation, the his flies as a two-pronged erection: an release of United 1)3. a film covering image which could certainly he con- graffiti attracted by the piece implies the failed attempts of passengers on that there was a strong reaction to it. sidered incendiary. When shown at one of the planes of September tith to Moore herself admits on her website Concordia University it was van- overcome their hijackers, was met that "the reaction created by this piece dalised by enraged students and even- surprisingly warmly. This is presum- tually ripped in two. The artist issued is far more valuable than the piece ably because its protagonists arc a statement making clear that she in itself". And the comments left about Alison Moore's BIGGER IS BETTER: SIZE DOES MATTER no way intended to trivialise the the piece suggest a mixed response: (above) before and after (below) it was destroyed events of 9/11. but was simply using sonic are praising the message and the image to make a point. some attacking the artist. It has to be supposed, then, Thai While there may be some ambigui- using such sensational images and ref- ty surrounding whether or not Moore's erences offends and shocks its audi- painting trivialises the events of ence: so why does the artist use them? September llth 200 I, other art instal- The power to shock leads to contro- lations are far more direct in their use versy, which in turn leads to discus- of the images. To take an -example. sion of the piece concerned and the Alan Bennie's Mickey's Taliban American heroes, a thread it has in issues surrounding it. At the most cyn- Adventures. hosted at the Royal common with almost every other film Scottish Academy in 2004, shows the based around the terrorist attack, Not eponymous Disney character piloting every film is free of controversy, how - a taffy plane into a rubber replica of the ever. and Oliver Stone's World Trade twin towers, anthropomorphised with Centre has come under fire front the weeping faces and fearful eyes. families of sonic of those who died in Largely attacked as obscene. insensi- the incident: mostly criticisms of tive and even as inartistic. it serves as insensitivity from the production an example where the shock value of teams. and the exclusion of families the piece prevents discussion, reduc- interested in having input into the film ing controversy to condemnation - - something United 93 was known for while the exhibition coordinator allowing. But even with these factors. describes the piece's function as being the level of anger generated by the to "make you think". it garnered criti- Rim is minimal compared to the level cism from almost every quarter: not some other pieces have produced. artistically, but simply for the insensi- Perhaps this is due to accommodating tivity of its subject matter. rattier than alienating its audiences. The danger comes, of course, when but perhaps something is fundainen- a piece is automatically dismissed due tally different. to its use of the imagery: the Hong Where do you draw the line Kong anti-tobacco advert, for exam- between art and insult - sloes it conic ple, where two cigarettes invoke the down to the intent of the artist, image of two towers_ Is this effective? whether it is calculated to achieve Some might describe the stark some noble aim or to shock: or is it imagery as the driving point of the something empirical. a line drawn in advert, but no-one can be sure as the the metaphorical sand that simply aurhorities decided that it was too shouldn't be crossed? If the latter is insensitive to he used. Surely the taken as the case, the point is raised point of the advert was to shock, and that this line has to blur at some point to connect this shuck with the idea of - the Second World War was graphi- smoking cigarettes: images of cancer- cally portrayed in writing and art from ous lungs. nicotine-stained teeth and the front lines themselves. who's to the like are used, so why not this - say that the same right can't be does it shock more. or is it simply the extended to artists today? fact that the image is becoming a taboo? The Tumbling Woman, a Leeds Swims vAwdeedssuletitarg.uk libp September 22, as Elea esing times

When it comes to infectious diseases, Freshers' flu can be the least of our worries. With one in ten of us having Chlamydia, making sure we're free of sexually transmitted diseases after nights of fun is a must. den Schofield put a new test centre and clinic aimed specifically at Leeds' student population through its paces. Photos: Patrick Nixon

hen it cranes to getting yourself Genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic is checked for the kind of bed bugs renowned for having an extensive waiting Wwhich don't bite, but have the list. which keeps worried patients hanging ability to do much worse things to your on for at notes weeks on end. organ, rumour rules. But a joint initiative between HIV The umbrella. tor men at least. seems to charity the Terrance Higgins Trust (THT) be both the most widespread and daunt- and the local Primary Care Trust aims to ing. combat both the problems of over-sub- 'Friends' describe the torture of having scription and worry. They've teamed up to an umbrella-thing inserted. wiggled about open a clinic in TNT's office on Oxford and unceremoniously withdrawn, in a Place in town which is targeting students. process known to insiders and those of a David Greenway, the charity's region- CSI: bent, as swabbing. My imagi- al mananer in the area told Leeds Student: nation did summersaults with ideas of 1The clinic is targeting students because what a nurse could do with something they're young. at risk and have difficulty Tiger Woods' caddy might use to shelter accessing the GUM. his boss from the ruin. Having been told Walking into the clinic. expecting a that it wasn't one of those larger models. I doctorly air to the place. you're struck by remained nervy: rest assured that my its informality. Carpet rather that rubber member would he dwarfed even by a floors. t-shin and jeans instead of smocks, compact, handbag-style model. Once and Radio One over the stereo in place of you've had the umbrella treatment - tannin announcements. I tell the lady behind the front desk that I'd like to get ■tested. MINIMMEnii ll111•1111•1=11 Certainly, sir, if you'd like to fill these nut and take a on the couches behind Walking into the me, we'll be with you shortly. I sit, listening to JK and Joel, sinking clinic, expecting a into a mammoth sofa and fill out my doctorly air to the forms as honestly as my memory can muster. place, you're I'd been handed a self-assessment questionnaire designed to determine how struck by its much risk I'd put myself at. With scant action over the past months, informality I would later be told by the nurse that I wasn't 'low risk', I was 'no risk', but, site inserted with what you'd hope would be a added with a him of patronization - cool hand - there's the weeks of wait for maybe it was pity - perhaps I'd like to do the results. a 'just in case"! I mumbled something in Aside from the stigma and fear that the Altman ve. surrounds getting tested, in recent years The patient info sheet, says Greenway. it's also become one of the more inacces- is 'about assessing risk. It's realty about sible parts of the national health. Leeds' risk. risk groups and risk behaviour'. Tall Trees Transport courier service and light removals Local and Long Distance Office and Commercial Moves Minimum I hour. then 1/2 hourly rate M Free Estimates - Contact Dave 10% Phone: 0113 293 0449 Mobile: 0778 G82 7710 STUDENT FEELING A LITTLE PRICK: Ben goes through the motions of an HIV test to experience how easy it is to get Email: [email protected] DISCOUNT tested. The Abbott Determine test uses a pin prick of blood to test for the virus and is virtually painless. PIA)TO. Patrick Nixon

Frbbri. September 22, 2006vmaleedsstudettorg.uk Leeds SHOO ti

If. he goes on, I had been 'bare-hack- 1111111■1■11■111■11 a pair of rubber gloves and a sample bot- mg with another man' they'd advise that I tle for my pee. Except for dropping the ' hd the full works of rests that have on full bottle in the basin and making fair use - from Illy and syphilis, through to Students are of the glove to fish it back out I'd rate my .a.amydia and Gonorrhoea - but as the delivery as flawless. risk level goes down, as does the number shagging all over And the results? You can buy me a of tests that would be reconunended. drink at the bar and ask me how it went if "We're an a-symptomatic screening the place - I don't you want the gory details, but I went in on Greenway goes on, 'which means like the word Monday and received a chirpy text that we're here for the worried well. People Thursday. who may have had sexual contact, placed `promiscuous' Greenway says that speed is or the themselves at risk and are worried about essence when it comes to combating the t spread of infection. "The rationale is let's gel the GUM to selves at risk. If they're waiting for an appointment focus on high risk and complex treatment. 1 think the fact of that matter is that for their results1 people won't put their sex The GUM is blocked up with the -wor- young people are the most vulnerable lives on hold. If you can't get an appoint- ried-weir - that's students in term time soup fur STLs [not including HIV]. he ment at GUM. the infecting period is blocking it up.- Greenway added, who's says. Sexual behaviour has changed. longer, which means more people can get worked for the charity for h years. He left Young people are having more sex with infected social work to go into sexual health care more people. mom of the time, and at a and hasn't looked hack. As a gay man he younger age. And most of it's unprotected. knows of the dangers of leaving STb, to Young people are more concerned about "The drop in clinic is free for BOSS MAN: David Greenway, THT's man in the region, left social work few. - he can count 50 acquaintances and unwanted pregnancy - the Pill is accessed patients and is open on Mondays for sexual health. He's known 50 people live and die with HIV friends who have died of AIDS. easily. but condoms are more difficult. between 4 and 7pm Pooto: Patrick Nixon The clinic he's running aims to segre- "Students are shagging all over the gate the student population off not only place don't like the word pmmiscuous. The issue is that most of it's unprotected. "We would treat students over 25. and partners of students over 2, but white het emsexuals over 30 we would turn away Could you hack it? And that's where the worry eomes from. The young people Greenwood comes into contact with are mainly con- cerned with unwanted pregnancies and The careers of Nick Witchell (BBC Royal Correspondent), will rely on the easily to get hold of Pill. rather than using the unfashionable and Paul Dacre (Editor-in-Cheif, Daily Mail Group), Jay Rayner sti gm:insect condoms. The THT clinic offers a relaxed and (Food Critic, Observer) & Kamal Ahmed (Executive friendly atmosphere to allay those fears. It's community-based, mme accessible. Editor - News, Observer) have all started at Leeds more convenient and more relaxed "It's very different from going to the Student. Fancy following in their foot steps? GUM, I'm not saying it's better or worse, it's just different. Greenwood explained. We're also not saying this is your only We've got open- option. The PCT is introducing a range of ings for writers in options. so it's your choice.- • Thpe Oar attOd Marriage ons,firne The clinic. the only one of its kind in all sections - L92 Am the country. wilt manage some In-house treatment and. if someone's positive. AI IS, It no ...ea News, Features, - Vain um, area they'll offer to treat their partner automat- t51 14 ically. But with HIV and syphilis, patients Comment, Sports, who have positive results will be referred to the GUM clinic fora fast-track second TV, Music, Clubs, test and to start u treatment management Books, Arts and es If you have an idea Arms academy you want to see in Pe.osion runt Invest-leg In arms company tiAE listert ns Unl benefactor The GUM is print, email blocked up with the 'worried-wen/ editor@leedsstu- that's students in dentorgsuk is term time blocking it up Or come to a meeting in the LS programme. office, Fridays at To combat the issues of waiting around for test results, THT are using the latest 5pm techniques to process the samples us quickly as possible. LUX/ tests are done using the Abbott Determine WM, which uses a pin-prick of blood - much like a diabetes blood sugar test - to detect the virus and can return results in 15 minutes In spite of this rapid return, Greenway says they've never had a false nelgativa or positive and they also take a blood sample to send away for testing, just to make dou- bly sure. because they're clogging up the GUM, For my test - which only included Leeds Student but also, he says, because they put them- Chlarnydia and Gonorrhoea -1 was tossed Leeds Weal wwwileedssludentorp.uk NM September 221006 here'syour The introduction of top-up fees for students studying from 2006 has raised considerable controversy, but now the issue has reached its conclusion another has raised itself: where do these new funds go? This year alone, the new system will generate the university £10.4million, and over the next three years this will increase to over £30million. This is being channelled in three general directions, all of which will benefit the university and its students. A university spokesperson described the direction of the money raised by the new fees as "general investment in facilities and services across the University, and to support individual students".

111

The AUT strike was instumental in ensuring a greater financial reward for Lecturers

third of the mones generated h) The Leeds Bursary, a non-repayable depends as much on personal polities biological sciences, medicine, engi- have undergone a much-needed it the new lees is being chan- bursary is applicable for students with as anything. neering and chemistry all have nation, and several new pitches A nelled into providing financial a family income of £25,000 or less, Scholarships are also available from schemes along these lines. again fund- now in place. support to students attending the uni- The exact amount that a student is eli- ed in part by top-up fees. Lecture theatres and individual fa versity in the forms of scholarships gible for depends on the financial situ- The majority of the extra revenue ties have benefited from the e and bursaries. One in four students at ation of their family - further schemes Tho Qt tiff morie■, is that has been generated is being invest- funds. and the whiff of the 1960s Leeds are eligible For some kind of exist, such as the Access to Learning ed across a broader spectrum. includ- surrounds the campus architecture financial help from the university. and Fund bursary and the Robert Ogden !)i.?;114 Ir., I ack.IP ing everything from refurbishing disconcerting fashion is grew there arc a number of schemes that are scholarship. for those with family .1011-1111p.-In sports facilities to improving staff to fainter. at least partly funded by the increase in incomes that arc in the lowest bracket. student ratios. Perhaps the most welcome chi tuition fees, often helped through The fairness of the scheme can be The rest of the money is being used initiated by this increase has been fundraising and donations — Sir JimMy questioned. however. and the issue of to tackle a SOmillion maintenance establishment of a system that ena Saville, for example. has funded a whether or not the considerable specific schools in the university, and backlog. Examples of changes registration to be completed oft scholarship to support medical stu- increase in everyone's tuition fees to these offer financial incentive to its financed by the new revenue include Any student who has experienced dents. lower a quarter of students' is justified most academic pupils: the faculty of the playing fields at Weetwood, which trauma of the antiquated system 1...6.11 efINAISAmb USIIM141 lermaiewharissros noes *ILI Coirk., Cisnekansher 'VS °HUM a CONTENTS

Th ha! its go' pg 3hree/lowdown £1 ov pg 5ive/richard & chris dir uni WINDSOR CASTLE pg 6ix/robbie in roundhay by pg 8ight/graduate fashion show aci pg 10en/when movies lie

pg 12welve/music

pg 14ourteen/clubs

pg 16ixteenifestive

pg 18ighteen/arts

pg 20wenty/books

pg 2lwentyone/e

pg 22wentytwo/tv

pg 30hirty/observations

A sums, and b Leeds Ft na nc here aE lea' luitin LS2/ Editor - Ben Schofield / Associate Editor - Steven Smith / Lowdown - Poppy Kemp & Olivia Marks / Music - jonrty Price & Joe Dennett / Clubs - Sophie Barnes, Vivien King Macdona & Katie / Arts - Mark Mackay & Tom Foster / Books - Chris Tedd & Katie Dunn / e - Tim Sevenths / TV - Andrew Edelston & Laurie Savill Regualrs - Richard Woolley & Chris Dixon / Photos - Patrick Nixon & Emma Dalzell / Design - OAis Langride & Hanneka Kilburn / Front Cover - who!: Steven Smith dents. Leeds Student newspaper, Leeds University Union, PO Box 157, Leeds, LS1 1UH; (0113) 3301 480;[email protected]

pg two/contents/1s2/220906

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ad, isn't it great to be back In Leeds? Upon my it returning to Leeds after Easter of this Being in a new city arrival, the heavens opened, lightning lit up the sky, year I was greeted with a nasty surprise. Come on it's yours, own it.You Gthunder shook the ground and a tornado ripped the 0 The kind of nasty surprise you would can start your own scene. A roofs off two houses in Leeds. Perhaps I should have learned receive if you caught your parents indulging in really cool one.We tried to start something from this but instead I just muttered something some rumpy pumpy or discovering that you are in P1U our own scene orre but we got about global warming and the chances of a Day After fact adopted, although in some cases finding out egged [or it. No-orieb ready for a

Tomorrow situation actually occurring and had a cup of tea. that you aren't actually the fruit of your parents loins Sj smile based on carbs. Sadly. But wait - I have rushed into this all too rashly! To those of you can be a blessing. So anyway, the nasty surprise in out there who remember who we are, hello again we've question was the cruel reality that not only had Bar missed you like that girl from Everything But The Girl trussed Phono been ruthlessly shut down but the Basement Hangovers that bloke who moved house and didn't tell her. To all you had as well. Now for those of you who are unfamiliar OS They're not that race, others (including those of you who skimmed through our with either of these establishments all you need to admittedly, bet when else can page dismissing it as 'ruddy tosh' and 'blooming gibberish') know is that they were the pinnacle of the Leeds you get away with eating 5000 we are Poppy and Olivia and we bring you up-to-the-minute, "alternative" club scene. Situated inside the calories (mainly bread), tying hard-hitting, unadulterated, uncensored and downright risque Merrion Centre, (yes, that's right - a nightclub around, groaning limply and shit about what's coming up in Leeds. This week, having inside a shopping mall) Bar Phono had a maximum watching Disney? That's right, moved into a new gaff that is splendid. cosy and a veritable capacity of roughly fifty and a domestic front door Never. teddy-bear roll away from Jackson, I made the depressing as it's entrance. The Basement in comparison ••"OSPq trip down to Morrison's to brave the masses and buy some looked like Bijous. In reality, however, it smelled carbs and very quickly wished I hadn't. I was a fool. I knew it like a carcass covered in sour cottage cheese and Identity overhaul would be bad. First up, there were no trollies left, OK, right. the walls seemed to have overactive sweat glands. You can start again.No-one good one - a supermarket with no trollies. I quickly managed The drinks were cheap, though, and included knows you. If you've come up to snaffle one approximately the same size as a people vodka slush puppies and smirrtoff ice in a can. from the South-East, however. carrier and embarked upon a trip that I knew I would not Slinkys (a bottled white wine crush) were also you're probably going to Icnce, enjoy at all. After ramming several pensioners with my trolley available and were so foul that the barmaid tried to everyone trt Leeds already. (accidentally, of course) I witnessed a fight between a very stop me having one. She should have tried harder. That's lust the way it is. old lady and a young slip of a lad who claimed she had Despite all of this and despite the mazy times I wood pushed him over, which I found ridiculously hard to believe swore I would never go back it still hurt when 1 considering she probably weighed about four stone and he realised I could, in fact, never return, whether I Burgeoning relationships was at least a foot bigger than her. Then an alarm started wanted to or not, In the words of Janet Jackson, "you So you've left a lover behind. going off and no-one seemed to be making any effort to stop don't know what you've got 'till it's gone". But Don't worry, you'll find a new it. Then I couldn't reach the tortellini over another person's imagine my glee when I once again returned to one within a week. Freshers' trolley. And they had no small baguettes. And I got the wrong Leeds this September and am informed by the Week is full of desperados flavour yoghurt. And the woman behind the till gave me a same person that broke the news to me of the loolang for some action. Get to funny look. Moral of the story: Shop anywhere but Morrisons. demise of both clubs that The Basement has on it and remember, rubber Alternative moral: Whinging is unattractive. Next reopened. The renaming of the club is, however, r. Week...Olivia speaks up. PK laughable. Now known as Subculture it will obviously P up appeal to those who are a bit off-the-wall: you know, The poster sale olly it's all about 'new' at the moment, ain't it? New term, new a bit wacky. Those who don't follow mainstream You don't need themYou house, new friends, new look, new season - hell, It's a whole trends, oh no, they probably listen to We Are just don't. A Brealdast At Gnew you, really. Why not learn a new skill, something Scientists and . Or something. Gigantic, Tiffanybposmr is not going to impressive and interesting that will provide you with enough previously The Basement's premier post-punk/new make that orange wall look anecdotes to last you the whole of next year's dinner parties? Good wave//bummy crap has returned to dassy and that swirly yin-yang thing, then, that LUll brings you Give It A Go every first semester, Thursdays. Check it. OM its not going to make you look where you cart pick tip new skills, meet new friends and probably have leer-axy.You'll look a loser . a bit of fun at the same time. Open Street Jim, which claims to be where you can 'learn the skills of street dancing with a twist of jazz' takes place on Monday 25th of September in the Riley Smith Hall from 7pm- Drinking to much and 9pm and it's free. It would be stupid not to go, really, because students then crying these days are severely lacking in street-jazz dance moves, are they IfyouSe keetrtg hares sick thenlay not? For those of you who prefer a more tender touch. Aromatherapy &flat disdhatleofwmaltligoing Massage costs just £3 and takes place on Wednesday 27th from epm- torraloyoucryandyourrogis end Bpat In Meeting Room 3, and means you'll be able to touch strangers up bong comforted by the with sensual oils free from any sort of libellous claims. Apparently you'll sleaziest man in Leeds. relax your mind, body and span (we think the latter refers to spirit as in soul, not as in vodka or gin, the large amounts of which are no doubt coursing happily through your veins in this current work-free Face ache environment of Freshers'Week). So these're just two ways you can All that fake srnilirig as really improve your Id e. Coming up over the next few months you have the getting to you. is it not? After a opportunity to learn German, Bangzang Vegetarian Gujarati cooking. Merlon madness - wipe week of meeting potential Bell Ringing and how to properly appreciate Real Ale.Woah. PK your feet on the way. out friends and trying to make some good ones you've smiled your be snide. Get the deep heat ouL Top 5 Things to blow the loan on 1. A new car - you buy a car then realise a) theze's nowhere to park it 0 and b) the one-way system in Leeds is a bloody nightmare. Hope it gets 0 stolen then claim it back on insurance. 2. Buy some decks - Always useful at a house party. But you don't have any records, can't use it and its Salsa really heavy. Looks good though_ 3. Gambling - Put it all on a genie of Snap. Make sure your reflexes are up to scratch before you start or else It's alright but apparently if yet you're buggered. 4. Adopt-A-Dolphin -Your mum would never let you but she ain't here now. Co out to the Pacific and spend days on a boat turn up to the Riley South you ge (:1 hoping to see the one that may or may not be yours. End up bankrupt, disappointed and the butt of everyone's jokes. At least you got a nice a bee glass of NON- certificate. S. Play Grab-A-Grand - Get it all out in notes. shut your bedroom door and turn on a small hand fan and let it all go. Fun until you ALCOHOLIC aangria,WhatS t. lose them all down the floorboards and out of the window you neglected to close. Fun for a bit though. 0 point?You aught as well just get "MIS some Vivito and glug it in your words/ poppy and olivia (both single and looking) room listening to Santana.

pq three/lowdown/the Glade/22/09/06

f you believe everything you read and phlegmy infection with a bunch of people April is the cruellest month, I'd argue you've just met and already don't like, and ISeptember has to come a close you're expected to rise at a reasonable second in those stakes, especially when it hour and read a book, maybe even listen looms in the university calendar. Every to a respected academic tell you year the summer vacation wraps me up in something you don't know. Reads like a a warm and homely surrogate womb and passage of Orwell doesn't it? every year I fall for it completely, enjoying Those of you beginning university this the naive assumption that I've re-entered year have probably been force-fed two a state of childish innocence. no strings contrary ideas by various people who're attached (except the sizeable umbilical convinced they know how the system email/ [email protected] chord filtering me lager and ice cream). works. One: that you are honoured in richard is an english finalist Then suddenly it's September, and a pair entering a hallowed scholarly institution of invisible forceps grab me by the tender where your intellectual merit has skull and drag me through a long distinguished you above the other 90 per administrative birth canal, probably cent of the savage, ill-educated putting unhealthy pressure on my infant population. Two: that you are in for three brain in the process, and leave me naked years of responsibility-fiee and confused on the cold other side, just experimentation, spiritual awakening and in time to watch the last of the leaves fall. lie-ins with a few hours a week of There is hope however Anyone who something resembling school on the side. read Marcel ' article on university Both models have a grain of truth in life in G2 last week will have rejoiced in them somewhere, in fact you probably the knowledge that "what universities are can't have one without the other, at least, if for" is the exercising of human rights, you want to make the most of your three including, he says, the right to sleep late years. But to me, Berlins' ideas represent and have fun instead of studying. In other an outmoded broad stroke of sympathetic words I can just claw my way back up that lefty intellectualism, a hangover from the uteral tract because summer never has to utopian era when students would average end! And when the Man comes round I'll a grand or two of debt (maximum) on the be protected by the European Court of completion of their degree; not, as the Human Rights. NUS has it, twenty to thirty thousand plus pening the paper on Sunday I that? They don't have time to make The Persecuted Bohemian: (from for a 2006 entrant. If the right to sit on was confronted by pictures of healthy dinners while raising behind a fortification of cushions and one's arse whilst amassing zeros of 0 women outside a school in children? Absolute rubbish! You can duvets. as a romantic breeze billows negative credit can be trumpeted in the Rotherham handing food packages to boil an egg or slice a tomato quicker through his hair) "I know my rights manl I national press, I'd argue that the right to a pack of rabid kids. Before reading than you can climb in your SUIT and don't sweat you! I don't care how high you get one's money's-worth out of a degree the headline one could have been drive to your local fast food want to raise those top-up fees, I'm not should be represented, too. This would mistaken for thinking they were restaurant. The kids really have no moving from this bed until Cash In The obviously imply a superior level of tuition, taken in a war-time ghetto and these hope of taking an interest in healthy Attic starts.You don't like it?You can see that's where the money's going after all, were people risking their lives to eating if their ignorant parents me in Strasbourg! Vive la liberter but it also implies a bit of graft on the feed the hungry... but, alas - no. pander to their pestering. One could }lair enough. Everyone has the right to student's part. wood These are the parents rebelling be mistaken for thinking that these spend their mornings watching re-runs of Granted university is challenging, against Jamie Oliver's 'nanny state' poor parents don't know any better The One Where Chandler Can't learning things is work, and September healthy eating regime by smuggling and will soon realise that copious Remember Which Sister, everyone has the just seems to be a depressing tune of then greedy offspring grease-soaked amounts of saturated fat equals an right to live on lager and ice cream for the year. But the majority of students are here goodies. I find Jamie Oliver and his early grave. I certainly hope that this rest of their life and everyone has a right through choice, because they have a whole 'Mockney'-I'm-down-with-the- is the case, but catching up with more to fail a degree. passion for acquiring knowledge and kids attitude as annoying as most current affairs I see that Jade Jagger, Ina "particularly unpleasant clause" of intend to make use of their abilities. Or people do, but I'm afraid on the point the so-called wild child of aging his unnamed source material, Berlins is maybe it's because, like me, they saw the of healthy eating this guy has a point. rocker Mick Jagger, took her two outraged by the idea that universities documentary about a Javanese Obesity is on the rise across the daughters out last week dressed like expect students to "study diligently" and women whose miscarried foetus country, with two towns in Yorkshire mini- Hiltons. Perhaps you think attend classes "promptly". Imagine. It's remained calcifying in utero for 27 years, have ranked in the top ten UK 'Fat that clingy, daring necklines are the the height of another grim September, cause that's what happens if you never Towns'. It's no surprise to learn that stuff of sexual fantasy, but these girls you're living in a strange town, sharing a leave the womb. one-in-four children aged four-to- are eleven and fourteen. Child sixteen prefer to have chips for protection groups are condemning lunch. I'm twenty and I still get the jewellery designer for parading cravings to stuff my gob full of fatty her children around looking like treats, Who are we kidding? Do we high-class ladies of the night. It really think that by forcing kids to eat would appear that ignorance is a relentlessly healthy food they will plague affecting even the wealthiest stop wanting to eat all their favourite parents. I wonder if she realises fats? When I was at school the while telling her children they look cafeteria had a healthy salad bar, a 'fabulous daaaaaaaaahling' in their baguette stand and a hot food plunging blouses and short skirts section. This system worked really that she is over-sexualising them and well because there was always some robbing them of their childhood. Not variety, all major food groups were to mention that encouraging her girls email/ [email protected] ticked and the main culprits were to look provocative could lead them chris is a broadcast journalism finalist relegated to what I liked to call Fat into all kinds of dangerous 'adult' Friday, when the choice was between situations for which they are not chips and pizza, neither or both. This prepared. One only needs read was heaven because by the time about the case of Jonbennet Ramsey Friday rolled round, a hard week of to see how although parents might lessons and lettuce had passed think their kids look 'cute' dressed up through the system. We genuinely like adults, they can also be tempting felt like we deserved our little to unwanted admirers. Fortunately, at indulgence. We were happy and the the party Jagger's youngest offspring headmaster could pat his healthy was overheard complaining to her back. Perhaps the school in mother about feeling uncomfortable, Rotherham should consider giving as tf she was showing off too much evening classes to parents who have flesh. Perhaps it's time we sent the still not mastered the art of shredding parents back to school and let the lettuce or grilling vegetables. The children impart some of their oh-so-challenging culinary arts these wisdom. chunkers seem to be lacking. What's 12 1

OPIICIANS

EYECARE ON YOUR DOORSTEP

The has C4.95 its go? Monthly Replacement £14 Contact Lenses OVE din uni 0113 245 5618 by acr 11.0 13 13 IE LIVE @ ROUNDHAY

sUpp verSI Hilt! Leed Anal them at k. ttlili fund Savi schc dent

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n September the 9th hit the city of leeds with a passion. Even though he caused the temporary closure of 11 schools and a lot of traffic hassle throughout the weekend, the true fan's resolve never waned. The purported 90,000 people enjoyed excellent weather to welcome in an intense back catalogue of memorable tunes. We were even treated to the surprise of Robbie's latest "hit" 'Rudebox' to which he quipped had been 'welcomed about as well as a ginger stepchild'. LS is, however, growing more than tired of rehearsed encores. Mr Williams quietly finished his banging set without a performance of, possibly his most memorable hit, 'Angels'. When will artists learn. The supporting acts were a good warm up to the main events. Orson's slightly annoying tone was worsened by the lead singer's awful leather jacket that was leading to detestable and quite obvious perspiration. Bassment Jaxx showed once again why they're still topping the charts and showed an enthusiasm possibly greater than the man himself. All in all, the day was awesome, very expensive and involved a lot of waiting. Something that that I was less proud to have endured after my parents texted to say they were watching on Sky One. Suddenly the day seemed that little bit less unique.

words/ stephanie monet pictures/ idols mpus MID 12

The G RAID its go; El din uni by acr

n a sticky afternoon way back in June, students year in a placement in their third year has were the wrong size for the models, who when the heady days of summer were really shone through in their collections, incidentally surprised the designers with crimped ahead of us, an event took place that to especially Alex Mawby's where her time spent w hair as well as a last minute announcement that the 0 anyone who cares about fashion, where orking with Alexander McQueen's design team runway was to be gold would have been enough to it is headed and ultimately what we may be had clearly influenced her work. lead any well established designer astray. wearing a couple of years down the line took pace This week-long event which is sponsored Regardless of this the Leeds students pulled off a which is the equivalent to the World Cup final to by River Island and L'Oreal which has seen polished performance with fifteen students from MN. any raging football fanatic! Graduate designers such as Stella McCartney, Julien Leeds showing in total, Mawby, Holly Sherwood Fashion Week. In its fifteenth year of celebrating MacDonald, Giles Deacon grace its runway as and Nina Mountney sparkling among them. emerging fashion design talent LGFW shows no rising stars played host to the cream of Leeds Tensions ran high as the judges who included the sign of slowing down or losing its prominence as University's hottest design students. The run-up to 1992 winner Christopher Bailey, now Director of seem to be happening with the better known the show had been in no way smooth with Design at Burberry scanned racks of designs London Fashion Week (which incidentally took Mawby's shoes having to be flown backstage then took their place in place this week). Finalists from the Leeds in from where they the front row to decide who University School of Design took to the catwalk to were dyed and a would be the winner of show off the culmination of four years hard work. last minute the £320,000 prize and Lynne Webster the Industrial Year Placement panic ultimately the Officer for the School of Design believed that the that they greatest

A suppe versit and bi Leeds Iiinitnc there . at tuition lunch.; SaVill scholi dents. pg8/gradfashionfls2/220906 . 'brit ebIllaftle

helping hand any young, up and coming designer perfect meeting of new and old. Throw-backs to show, Greta Garbo was easily identifiable in her could wish for. Although at the end of the week the Sixties combined with contemporary tailoring first ever full collection. Another key look was none of the Leeds designers were chosen for the made for a refreshing show. Vibrant floral shirts captured through the contrasting layering prize (however Mountney was nominated for a and smocks with volurnous sleeves in violets, of man fabrics such a wool with portfolio award ), Bailey commented that it was 'an purples, deep greens and turquoise a la Ozzie delicate silk which also allowed outstanding show with huge variation and great Clark gave seamless femininity and balanced out for femininity and sexiness energy'. the androgynous tailoring impeccably. Proving without baring too Alex Mawby's eclectic collection which that catwalk fashion does not have to be the much flesh. What drew it's influences from the Victorian era, the exclusive terrain of the size zero models by really shone French artist Alfons Mutter, and London's trendy concentrating on the cut of her clothes so that they through Primrose Hill all combined with an overwhelming hug the figure and create an envious silhouette. Mountney's feeling of summer did not disappoint. Mawby's High wasted collutes in navy wool with lilac entire collection aim to put a collection together that moved away trimmings and braces encapsulated this seasons was the from ' walked straight out of Heat magazine in to asexual trend flawlessly. She repeated how her remarkable use of Topshop' look while still being totally wearable time spent working with the designers at Hobbs colour; bright and was well and truly realised. The star of her benefited her work. vibrant but always collection was a cap sleeved dress with a plunging When asked how she would describe her chic. neck line in a print which, if not used so artfully style Nina Mountney said' glamorous, wearable, used could have crossed over in to unspeakable mature, detailed and intricate chintz territory with black silk trim. Another feat - high aspirations indeed. words/ chloe watson was an all-in-one with tailored shorts with a lemon However she certainly did shrunken jacket. not over-hype herself. Holly Sherwood's collection was the Mountney muse for this

mpus -- 1 ti 12 WHEN MOVIES LS2 takes a deep look in to the world of movie realismIE and whether you can attempt to be an action hero yourself, although we don't advise trying this at home. ThE has ver since I first watched Die Hard I have curiosity killed the cat and being a feline fan this lie is in Die Hard 2 when McClane been a fan of action films. Loud, fast and hopefully my research will save a number of these wrongly says that a gun could pass through its generally very stupid they are cinemas graceful animals. airport security, reassuringly this is not the go E equivalent of a McDonalds.You know One of the major myths in films is that of the case_ Anothermyth believed was dispelled by the , exactly what is going to happen from the start of the gun. Guns fire bullets which spark all over the place , this time from U.S. Marshals. Tommy Lee film - the machiavellian bad guy will be killed in as they collide with cars causing explosions.Yet Jones says that a Clock pistol can fire underwater. some horrific fashion. I personally believe that the somehow the hero survives being shot in an According to some very knowledgeable Americans it painfulness of death is directly proportional to how extremity and can shoot five men before they kill him. may indeed be able to fire once underwater but it OVE evil the character is, giving the formula: Massive In order to attempt to ascertain how easy it was to aim may actually explode in doing so. It also creates a Bastard = Massively Painful/Extended Death. with a gun I persuaded a housemate to fight me with sound four tunes as loud as that of a Glock firing in din a toy gun. The theory was that if we could hit one the air, which can lead to tinitus or deafness. Thus uni another with these little bullets then we would be whilst Mr Lee Jones might be right it probably isn't able to hit one another with proper guns. advisable to go around firing Clocks underwater by The result was disappointing at best. We often. managed to hit each other rarely if at all and Another lie I had been sold by film was that acr generally just looked ridiculous. From 25 shots we of the exploding car. My research has taught me that averaged about 2 hits including one sneaky cars in general are unlikely to explode because headshot.We achieved zero combat rolls. Some might petrol tanks are reinforced. This totally disproves the Yet whenever I watch action films I blindly argue that this has little to do with trained film equation Small Car Crash = Big Explosions. On a accept many stupid occurrences. Like how characters professionals firing proper weaponry I would state serious note people with neck injuries have been suddenly remember a vital piece of information at that it shows aiming properly is hard. When pulled from cars causing further damage in fear of the last second, or how just about anything can combined with research on guns (most have a clip of explode, and finally how some people can get by about fifteen) this would mean that someone twice as whilst apparently failing to eat entirely. Being a good as us would have to reload twice to tut five 111181111111111111111111 film student and also having dabbled in opponents. In most films the hero never really seems science at A-Level (Physics to be precise) I to reload, let alone twice. Given that reloading takes It probably isn't I decided to attempt to separate time I have serious doubts that the hero would be • some of the fact from some of able to kill all his opponents before they got him. advisable to go around the fiction just in case I was • • • ever called upon to firing Glocks underwater • dispatch international • • terrorists or needed 111111111111111111 • • to jump from an • • extreme height. • • the car exploding. An advert with Samuel L Jackson • 11 1 1111 1 1111 11111111111111111111111 explaining the misunderstanding would in my Thus • opinion be the best response to this. Interestingly on • I find it hard to believe this subject though a petrol tanker is apparently headed • pretty likely to explode because it can't be reinforced to that that Arnie would in the same way. As it contains lots more petrol than a haven of • car it will also create a bigger (and thus better) geekdom, the • knowingly lie to us all explosion. So avoid petrol tankers which are on fire internet. Whilst • but worry less about cars. only mildly more • 11111111111111 11 1 11 1 1 1 111 trustworthy than • • films, it did appear to • • have a mine of • Guns also seem to be able to lead to massive information about my • explosions on a regular basis.This was greatly • chosen subject. From gun • disputed by the internet and particularly some • mad Americans to strangely • • physicists who claimed that the spark from a obsessive Physicists I bullet was rarely enough to start a fire and that • • searched to find out if I could • a car's fuel tank had to be a fairly exact level Another of the most common film myths is ever be an action hero. • in order to lead to an explosion. This that of the high fall. It would appear that as long as • • appears to mean that a section in the you land in a rubbish container you are destined to • • Schwarzenegger film True Lies there is survive - no matter how great the fall. Yet by cracking • • a glaring error about using an Uzi to out some GCSE Physics (which everyone must have • • light fuel into a flamethrower. I find done) this would appear to not be the case. • • it hard to believe that Arnie would • • knowingly lie to us all. Potential Energy = Mass x Gravity x Height A • • Whilst researching Kinetic Energy = 0.5 x Mass x Velocity2 suppo • • this section of the article versit: Now some people might be of the opinion that • • came across the fact that a to separate the fact from the fiction in film is gun which is not detected KE = PE and h • • Leeds, impossible, as it is really all fiction, but some films • by X-Rays (i.e. a plastic film lit are accurate for science (or so the internet tells me). • gun) has never been Mass x Gravity x Height = 0.5 x Mass x Velocity2 • there Singled out for almost universal praise for its • developed by any at lea' accuracy is Apollo 13. However whilst I will admit that • • major arms tuitio I haven't watched Apollo 13 for something over a • • manufacturer. An funds decade I do not have happy memories of the film. So • • example of film Savill maybe accuracy isn't the best policy. None the less • propagated • scholi • dents, • pg10/whenmovieslie/ls2/220906 • • • 13

Also in the hall of action movie myth shame is glass and windows. An action film where a lead character does not dive through a glass window, or at least blow up something leading to glass shattering, is extremely rare. Yet glass itself really is is however a bit too gritty for me almost pretty tough. Glass in cars is even tougher as it is wish they'd just lied to me instead. safety glass. I have seen a friend hit a car window 11 terrorists do attempt a take with a hammer and it failed to smash on a number of over in your area my advice would be occasions (it was actually his car. He'd just locked the to flee. Having failed to shoot keys inside and the RAC were going to be hours). accurately (which I was poor at Which gives: Double glazing, common in most homes, is even even without recoil), learnt that tougher. According to my father (a materials' a fall of much over ten metres 2 x Gravity x Height = Velocity2 engineer) the air between the sheets of glass acts as will cause lots of pain and having a cushion.Thus I could fairly safely throw my weight finally uncovered that smashing If for example the character fell 10 metres. or thirty at a double glazed window safe in the knowledge that through glass dramatically is foot, the result would be fairly painful. it wouldn't break. The chances of breaking through impossible, the world looks bleak for a glass do however expand with the size of the glass wannabe action hero. 2x9.8x10 = 196 Velocity = 19 m/s window, as the chance of a weakness being present in the glass also rises. If we assume that by some miracle, or by sheer persistence that the glass has broken, a new situation has emerged; because as everyone who has 111111111111111111111111111111•11 dropped a glass knows, broken glass is sharp. The glass which the hero has broken through is now The survivability of falls also falling to the floor all around the hero, and the chances of the hero managing to move through the very much depends on your glass totally unharmed are slim to none. Special types As with most things in of safety glass which shatter into tiny harmless pieces regard to cinema, and indeed landing do exist but are even harder than normal glass. They life, the whole of this article would be almost impossible to break through by can be summed up concisely diving at them. by Alfred Hitchcock who In the films the glass used often isn't glass - said "Drama is life with the it is usually a plastic compound or sometimes sugar dull bits cut out". I can only glass. One of the most common of the plastics is assume that if the main 14m/s is approximately 31mph - and at that called Smash! Plastic. It looks like glass but smashes character of a film spent all of speed the landing would surely hurl an awful lot. to harmless pieces. It can be cast into panes, bottles his time failing and getting Whilst possibly survivable I doubt that many people or any glass object really. It looks pretty fun to use but injured it wouldn't be that would be straight on to their feet and running_ The is recommended only for trained professionals. I'm exciting or watchable even if it survivability of falls also very much depends on your planning an order. Sugar glass on the other hand was slightly more real. landing. Head first is obviously not a clever idea. appears to be simple enough to make but comes with the warning that once smashed it can have sharp edges. words/ matt kent

1111111111111111 1111 11111111111111111111

Palls into water would in theory be less If terrorists do attempt a take punishing. I did however manage to find some speculation by scientists which appeared to state that over in your area my advice from a great height (i.e. jumping out of an aeroplane) the collision with water becomes deadly. ] also heard would be to flee. from a friend that apparently if you time dropping another object right into the water it breaks the 11111111111 1111111111111111" surface tension and makes the fall less painful. I cannot verify fully either of these, but suffice to say I do not plan any high jumps for the moment. Another myth I found out about, almost Here I feel obliged to mention the Die totally by chance, was that of boarding a plane Hard films again - having singled them through the undercarriage. An avionics expert told out earlier for glaring factual me that this is totally impossible as the areas are not inaccuracies - here they can be joined up. It would also probably result in death as commended. The lead character. the hold area is un-pressurised meaning that at high John McClane smashes glass with altitude it would get extremely cold whilst starving his gunfire and then cuts his feet to you of oxygen. A warm jumper is advisable shreds running over it. This realism mpus r.

r CLUBS

The MAYHEM has MILE Your ;aillor-made its classic Fresher's night gol Eli OVE din uni. by acr

OLD BAR WALKABOUT BAJA

Exactly what it says on the tin- it looks rather like a Cheese, cheese and more cheese is the order of the Within easy staggering distance of Walkabout lies typical old man pub. but is in fact perennially packed day at walkabout, where you'll be transported to an Baja, with more of the same typical fresher's antics. with you students. Its a perfect place to start a classic australian-themed bubble of craziness. Decked out in Beach parry clobber decorates the walls and scantily freshers night out as it could quite possibly become masses of aussie paraphernalia this is a great place to clad bar boys and girls are on hand to replenish your Jr- one of your regular haunts whether to grab a swift let down your (surf-styled) hair and party. The glass with even more ridiculous cocktails.The music half between lectures, watch the footle, or catch the tackiest tunes are played incessantly- you thought of course as fun and cheesy as it comes and the legendary Spm 'aussie hour' of and home things couldn't get any cheesier?...oh, they certainly dancefloor can get so packed that you may end up and away.. However this evening your mission is will. From the poppy naffness of Steps to the utter balancing on one toe, supported only by the rest of probably to dance like a fool, and old bar's fabulousness of early 90s dance a la Snap lobbed in the jiving mob. Crowd-surfing may suddenly seem splendidly reasonably priced drinks are a great way with all manner of 70s and 80s randomness, the music like a good idea. And if you fancy a night of fancy to set off on the road to tipsiness. is sure to get you dancing (or perhaps running for the dressed madness this is a good place to indulge- you hills). If all that isn't enough for you, your next port of certainly won't look out of place. Baia's non-stop party call is... atmosphere is perfect to round off your evening of freshery debauchery, until tomorrow night of course..

Adam: 3rd year Electronic Engineering an: 1st year Maths Mission is wicked, I'm really looking I loved last night. (probably cos i was a:, forward to the re-opening) I'm really into quite drunk). We went to Tiger Tiger, the dance and can't stand all that r'nb stuff music was so good. I love when you can they play everywhere else. sing along. Really like the Terrace too, it's airy. Leeds is seriously the place to be.

s upport versap and but Leeds ; Ism; 3rd year English Lit Hannah: 1st year Russian financh I don't really like typical clubs, i prefer The Intro party at the union was my there at' DIY aorta places, like the West Indian favourite night tic) far.. there was loads of nicest Centre etc.I never come to the union to ' variety and tons of rooms. Leeds tuition go out, it kinds seems to try too hard to i nightlife is so much better than back fundrat• be suave and I reckon their money could •# home- there's lots of choice of where to be better spent on other stuff.But check .p i 00101,44 go every single night, and it's so cheap! scholar' out the Green Action co-op. dents. a a •

MISSION STATEMENT

Brand spanking new after its fabulously glitzy Leeds, so you can try to spot where you live and thirties gents club with fireplace, padded doors and refurbishment, Mission is all glammed up and ready guess how you might crawl back there.The nights walls adorned with golden violins. The first room is for a spectacular night on the tiles. If you missed its have been changed around but Thursday still plays surreally occupied by a string quartet for one night hedonistic highs over the summer then you'll find that host to legendary gay night, the self-explanatory only tuning up whilst lighted by purple neon. Every this makeover was well worth the wait. So there's no Homo, a place to strut your stuff to the very cheesiest detail has been covered with no corners cut, the need to weep into your white wine spritzer any numbers you're ever likely to hear. Wednesday marks layout is clear even for any tipsy punters although longer- get your dancing shoes on and get down to the weekly student night Missionary, promising an watch the dodgy step between rooms, an Mission pronto. eclectic music mix and classier than thou embarrassment waiting to happen. Head down to One of the two main dancefloors has a vaguely atmosphere. Mission and indulge yourself in the delusion that you industrial theme with a heavy duty sound system to Mission could never be confused with your average too are one of the champagne-quaffing elite, its easily match, ready to blast the hardcore dance music for chavtastic r'n'b club. With its classy decor and unisex done. which Mission is famed. The beautifully styled chill toilets that don't smell too badly of wee its not the out area includes two plush cushioned lounges and a first club you'd recommend for a complete overhaul. words/ Vivien King Macdona and Sophie summery outdoor terrace, ideal to rest your weary Nevertheless the renovations are done and its so Barnes limbs after boogying in a particularly reckless much the better for it. Mission now oozes glamour. manner. One wall entire wall is a panoramic photo of The Champagne Lounge is an exact replica of a THE RANT t e • lax

Ok, it's not quite the morning after the but the only crap r'n'b songs i knew were Sat 23rd Sep - Wax:On feat Errol Alkan, Simian Mobile Disco night before but i still have just woken up played while i was at the bar squashed and Annie Mac- Mine, URI fully clothed and sleeping on my hair between impossibly pretty girl and smelly brush. After the painful ordeal of taking out fat guy. Not much dancing possible in 28th-1st Oct - Space 7th Birthday weekend- Space (r'n'b, funky my contact lenses i try and remember last these situations. house) night...1 wish i hadn't. I would like to mention a few people who Not only did we have to queue for an hour made my night. The bastards who pushed Fri 29th Sep- New Bohemia feat TM Juke + Alice Russell, The in the shortest queue ever but when we in the queue right at the front, you know Faversham (jazz/hip hop) / Sub Dub [ration Steppes Sound were eventually let inside the meat market, who you are. I don't give a crap that you System, Dreadzone Sound System -West Indian Centre. (Drum it we had yet another 40 minutes of waiting to queued for an hour to get into Oceana and bass, dub, reggae)/ DJ Spinna-The Wardrobe get our 10 drinks each as they cleverly the people having sex in the booths, what decided to only put 2 people on the bar. would your mother say? Sat 30th Sep- Asylurn/Technique,The Warehouse (drum n After the ordeal of entering the club and How did i get home? Oh dear, better bass, dance) getting my many drinks i think I'm having a wake someone up, i have a feeling i was good time-Beware! That sloaney guy carried. Drink responsibly now kids, happy Sat 6th Oct- SubDub presents Goldie@Transmission,Weat corning on to you can't really see anything Fresher's week Indian Centre (drum n bass) except the fact that you're wearing a skirt. Really, can't you dance anymore without words/ Rachel Cranwell Sat 14th Oct- Groavejunky feat. Jason Herd (subliminal some guy thinking he has the right to grind records)-Space all over your leg? Guys. word of warning, it Hit a nerve? Need to get something off is not sexy and it doesn't make us want to your chest? Send us your own rant to Fri 19th Oct- Sugarbeat feat DJ sets from Tim Burgess (The go home with you. [email protected] Charlatans)/Alan McGee,The Elbow Rooms (indle) I wish i could say the music saved the day mpus -a-- — raftalramill■ 12

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The has its howcome I haven't slammed it yet? A few reasons; go? Londoners NewYoung Pony Club put on a knock out LIVE set of energetic electro pop,led by vocalist Tahita El( strutting around like MIA with an asymmetric haircut and providing all the attitude needed to set off the over main stage. Mylo pulled out the tunes for a short but TALES OF THE JACKALOPE sweet mix including his remix of Freeform Five's `No dire More Conversations' and best of all, the Soulwax Canon Hall, South Derbyshire juggernaut rollsedinto town around 1.30arn with a univi 8th - 9th July mind blowing Nite Versions live performance by t featuring bangers such as 'E Talking' and 'Another No surprises that a paean to all things VICE Excuse' as well as Tiga's 'Move My Body', followed by acrci (fashionietas.Shoreditch, obscenity, cocaine) turns out 2 Many DJs doing what they do best. to be a near train wreck of a one day festival, Promises In true Vice Magazine style a through the night utterly of 24-hour live music and clear signposting failed to debauched disco that was great fun for most (those materialize but once revellers found their way to who weren't relying on overpriced alchohol for their Catton Hall (Somewhere near Tamworth, South kicks) whilst leaving those who were kicked out at BRITISH SEA POWER Derbyshire) and made their way through the type of Sam with a vague recollection of having received a security employed by NATO, they were greeted by all royal shafting in the middle of middle nowhere Brudenell Social Club that is (or will be) edgy, electronic and dirty in music 7th September you'll hear about sometime next year. words/ joe dennett Of the two main stages, the Yahoo stage showcased As far as gig venues go, The Brudenell is peerless. but a few of the hottest music docters around (2 Many Oozing with 30's style and with the appearance- mom DJs, Mylo, Trevor Jackson) while the Vice Stage played of a 'speak-easy' rather than Leeds most cosy and host to word-on-the-streets-hot-shit such as The intimate gig venue. This makes it perfect for a band , Metronorny, , Shy Child and like British Sea Power who, put simply, are one of the Larrikin Love. Meanwhile the Bugged Out tent was an best live acts you will ever see, not to mention electniclash enthusiast's wet dream with DJs such as probably one of the last live acts you will ever hear Jojo de Fier; and Riton pumping out non-stop dirty (methinks that the volume was just a tad too loud, and electro house beats_ that the towering additional amp stacks were So, if no alcohol could be brought on site, beer cost £4 somewhat largely unnecessary for a venue this size!), a pint, running water dried up around midnight, BSP sprawl all over the stage, changing singers and zeitgeist French duo Justice pulled a no show and it all instruments at various intervals and powering though wrapped up about 6 hours earlier than advertised a set of classics from both critically acclaimed as well as the odd new song.'Remember me' seems to get better every time you here it and drives the hard core 'Heron Addict' t-shirt wearing devotees at the front into a fit of frenzy. 'How will I find my way w home' seems to posses the kind of energy live that ii never seemed to on 'Open Season' and serves as a perfect indicator that British Sea Power axe at their best when they are performing, as do the beautifully haunting 'The land Beyond' and the riotous 'Louie' British Sea Power are a band who have embraced the sketchy guitar licks and erratic beats of The Pixies and the melodies of and the results are little short of stunning. They are a band on an exponential ascent which shows no signs of stopping, continually writing music that is different enough from the plethora of indie pop dirge in current abundance to remain fresh yet not too out there to be

rt tP The Cockpit, A n. September 13 support I iersie The Cockpit has over the passing years established and bute itself as the Leeds' premier music venues. Bands big Leeds in and small play to crowds of music fans on a daily basis financial in the intimate and quirky surroundings of the railway there arc at least p arches under which this iconic venue sits, Upon its tuition walls in the cockpit bar sit framed tickets of shows fundraisi which signalled the start of promising careers, some of Saville, which developed into levels of global stardom. But scholarsI what will the future hold for bright young things The dents. View, four young lads from Scotland trying their hand pg14/musicils2/Z20906 labelled pretentious or irrelevant, and whets more, unpleasantly lengthy obstacle to an incredible song, they're having fun. they actually add to the experience and mood of this The set ends with the normal antics of air raid sirens, . The ephemeral instrumentals which prove too a work experience bassist and drink fuelled much to the patience of many (and were abound on greenery infested Buster Keaton-esque tomfoolery their last album), are toned down, unfortunately, this that has become their trade-mark, leaving everyone has the effect of making the album less cohesive as a with a beaming smile and bleeding ears. What more whole, with the transfers between tracks appearing could you want from a gig? Superb, look out for their clumsy. new material soon! The albums opening track 'Vicarious Atonement' is enjoyably psychedelic, mirroring and complimenting the similarly ambient closer 'El Ciervo Vulnerado'. However, although this circular, polished idea of a CUT CHEMIST whole album is pleasantly complete, it is an example of the tendency of the Mars Volta to descend into The Faversham their aspects of self-indulgence which results in a , 5th September seeming priority of aesthetics and concepts over passion and energy. New Bohemia is one of Leeds most treasured nights The album's underwhelming opener appears to func- out.Well priced, well executed, well headlined (very tion as a deceptively subtle introduction to the more well headlined) and of course well attended. This night it was slightly too well attended. This was a shame for me (being of the school of thought that would be difficult to avoid comparisons. Surprisingly, beats are about flailing limbs and throwing shapes there is actually relatively well defined separation for which some space is a must) but not for the between Yorke's solo effort and his work with atmosphere. As DJ Cut Chemist walked on stage there Radiohead. Even albums such as Kid A and Amnesiac was the kind of explosion you can't pay for. Adoring bear little or no resembelence to his work with the fans and revellers shouted, screamed, grooved and brothers Greenwood et a!, something which shook for the starting beats of an awesome set. Cut Radiohead fans will no doubt find refreshing. Chemist, or Lucas MacFadden to his friends, broke Naturally it isYorke's distinctively beautiful voice that onto the LA hip-hop scene in a group called Unity is the only factor which offers major similarities, also Committee before becoming a part of Jurassic 5 his vocal melodies on songs such as 'The Clock' and (collaborating on their eponymous debut) and 'Cymbal rush' would feel comfortable on one or two Ozamatli. The kind of fresh interesting cuts and Radiohead tracks. Other than that however.Yorke and samples Chemist manages to garnish his rhythms long time Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich have with are inspired and have created favourites for created an album that effortlessly matches electronic years. He masterfully moves from cut to cut playing beats and blips with floating harmonies and soft the audience with a grace and complexity that each piano tones. 'Atoms for peace' is one of Yorke's most and every person in the room could feel, let alone accomplished pieces and epitomises the genius of hear. As with all the headliners at New Bohemia this album. 'Harrowdown Hill', 'The Eraser' and new - - — (Bonobo springs to mind) Cut Chemist's set was single 'Analyze' draw heavily on this style yet are traditional, yet frankly overlong, Tetragrammaton'. timed to perfection, beautifully executed and about characterised by cutting and politicized lyrics which Although this song features moments of excellence, as much fun as bitch-slapping Charlie from Busted offer listeners an insight into Yorke's current demons usually provided by the incredible skills of guitarist whilst sipping a pan-galactic gargleblaster and in a less cryptic fashion than has been in the past. In Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, these are too rare and dis- tinct to save the rest of the track from tedious deji. short 'The Eraser' is brilliant and is quite simply receiving oral sex from a scantily clad Scandinavian vu. At a substantial seventeen minutes, the infre- Valkyrie. Come back soon Chemist! essential listening. 9 quent, opaque lyrics, the insistent guitar trickery, and the constant shifting of tempo prove too much to sus- words/dominic bristow tain attention THE MARS VOLTA However, the highlights of the album reveal the true AMPUTECHTURE level of excellence that the Mars Volta can achieve, Island and effectively overshadow the remainder of the ALBUM album. Standout moments include the (almost) title- The Mars Volta are a band not easily ignored, tending track 'Meccamputechture', the dramatic 'Viscera to incite strong opinions. Marmite-like in their ability Eyes' and the insane jazz-disco of 'Day of the to be either adored or hated, their progressive, dis- Baphomets' , the latter of which, appropriate to the REVIEWS tinctive music is as often dismissed as 'pretentious' as Volta's reputation for citing cryptic mythology refers much as it is heralded Venius'.'.Arnputechfure' their to the goat-like false idol frequently associated with satanic worship. Beelzebub aside, the wonderful use 3rd Full length, will not particularly change anyone's of vocal repetition, the incredible metallic drumming THOMYORKE mind; it's 8 tracks and 75 minutes will be lapped up Album of the Summer and Bixler-Zavala's almost helium-induced vocals THE ERASER by those already converted and found to be familiar- make this track a gem; it succeeds in realising what XL recordings ly unbearble by those who disliked previous works. this album was constantly trying to achieve, manag- Whether loved or loathed, the musical aptitude of the ing to do funk-infused, experimental, progressive Whilst the Nationwide Mercury music judges artists here cannot be questioned, what with rock justice (which, lets give them credit, is pretty deemed it inferior to the Arctic Monkey's Rodriguez-Lopez's relentless fret-teasing and Bixler- damn hard). 6 omnipresent debut, there is little doubt that whilst you Zavala's discovering (and utilising) wonderfully high words/ david peat all dashed off home to your real lives over the notes, it's obvious that their skills are finely honed - summer, the album that you should have returned unfortunately it's their focus and application that's back with is undoubtedly The Eraser. Thom Yorke is of lacking. The use of jazz, experimental and ambient pieces are course most well known and respected for his work more realised and successful however, than in previ- with Radiohead, and seeing as he is something of a ous albums, whereas before; they would feature as an driving force within them, you would have though it

at the best job in the world, and will they too become The band kick off their set with blazing energy; takes up position at the front of the stage, and another impressive ticket stub on the walls of the bar? ripping through their first song they take me from a was just beginning to look annoyed when Peter Reilly Well if sheer attendance and electric anticipation are tired (and hungover) state to a smiley and energetic carefully takes off his guitar, shrugs and throws himself anything to go by then surely big things beckon for one. With all the passion and spunk that you could into the adoring crowd. imagine these 5 teens possessing. 's them. The View am relatively new but already The set continues past fan favourite Wasted little Djs' significantly successful with Radio 1 airplay on a raspy but melodic vocals sit perfectly atop a well and if it wasn't for the ever so slightly repetitive nature meshed menagerie of cheery guitars and funky bass, regular basis and a top 20 hit under their belts, yet of the band's set list (for a short while it seemed like banishing any original doubt of why they state two of the indie 'drop' was despite this they are very young (all born before their only trick — 5 times a song) I their influences as the Beatles and Squeeze. But then would have left as much a fan the next chap. Instead I 1986), but very professional. there's the Grime. They pack a fairly serious distorted await a copy of the album in anticipation; some good The atmosphere in the sweaty venue is punch and in true indie rock style still flail about production can do wonders to a bunch of catchy characterised by the crowd's rousing chants: "The making sure they (and the crowd) have fun. And they powerful energetic songs. View, The View, The View are on fire!" they sing, and do, the crowd I mean. Security are all guns blazing as they're not wrong. The chants act as idiomatic 'wild fire' they professionally toss spiralling bodies back into words/ dom.= bristow of a tagline well suited to a well-timed, well-pitched the mess of arms. So many times in fact that one media phenomenon. Melia .12 lEtittora rainue • FESTIVE

The SUMMER. has 'Special K' and 'Nancy boy' it is left to 2 many DJ's to SUNDAY CARLING WEEKEND LEEDS. provide the Leeds masses with gig of the day; a rip its t Bramham Park. Leeds. roaring. hour long, electro house orgy with some of Giant Drag are worth witnessing equally for their ace 251h-27th August the finest mixing you'll ever have the pleasure of tunes like "This Isn't It" and "Kevin Is Gay", but also hearing, smashing fun! the fantastically filthy banter between songs, this go? time involving pissing on the unaware and a poten- FRIDAY tially libellous anecdote portraying 80's soft-rocker £11 SATURDAY Chris Isaac as a paedo. Go see them, but even more, Kicking off, Mastodon bellow and riff through 30 min- make sure you see. They play brilliant, convulsing ove utes that pass surprisingly quickly for all of the hun- Few things are worth dragging your post-Dance Tent- punk-funk that makes band and audience buzz with gover heads surrounding the main stage. Songs like abuse body out of a tent for, but convinced that Kate kinetic energy, and tunes like "Drop The Decade" are dire 'Blood and Thunder' are scientifically proven to keep Jackson shaking her hips would be. this writer shiv- nothing less than hits-in-waiting. Putting Clap Your you alert 'tit lunch better than a £4.50 badger burger, ers over to the Radio 1 tent. Now, The Long Blondes Hands Say Yeah so high up on the bill was a question- unit' metal fans. Over on the Radio l NME stage, Leeds may have some fine singles and seem to be the only able decision as the lads here for Jet are particularly indie pop darlings Forward have come of lady-indie band around, but fucking hell, their live unappreciative of Alec Ounsworth's thin whine and by i age.Proper luts like 'Thirteen' and 'Twelve' prompt show is the most shambolic example of vacuous lack of real 'hits' to speak of. It's down to Arctic the first wave of crowd surfing today, and their per- scenester bullshit you'll ever see. Ms. Jackson has the Monkeys to pick up the mood that's flagged since acr( formance consistently teeters between screaming to sexual allure of a drunk auntie at a wedding, and lunch, and they nearly do. Sure, there's little action please the emo's and disco for the indie fops. Band of their performance is so out of tune and riddled with onstage, no fireworks and it's pissing it down, but the day so far. Liquid lunchtime precedes Lethal false starts you wish you would have stayed in your "When The Sun Goes Down", "Mardy Burn" et al are Bizzle. and hurrah! This is the "griridie" we've all sleeping bag.  Prepare for more shite, it's been waiting fort Well, actually, one re-working of '22 as much our tunes now as they are Alex Turner's. and Panic! at the Disco...actually no! This is emo is taken such potent singalongs can't fad at festies. Muse tie Grand Job' (by shouting "the Bizzle" over the top of to unheard of levels of camp (the group's name, the up a successful and riot free weekend with one of the It) is not an entirely new genre of music, but still, this makeup. the helium boyband harmonies), it's more is one of those incongruous performances that some- sets of the century. Matt Bellamy truly is one of God's Rufus Wainwright than At the Drive-In - but it's no front men and prance about the stage, firing through times make festivals so great; Mr. Bizzle's charismatic bad thing, as it allows faithful emo-pop renditions of music that is quite simply unparalled. 'Bliss'. urban grime is a welcome break from this whiter- "Karma Police" and "Tonight, Tonight" that don't lead than-Tippex Carling Stage bill. Pray silence please 'Starlight' and 'Citizen erased' induce mass wailing to a mass bottling. More fun than a million Fall Out and frantic moshing and the tough crowd surrenders though, for the Four Horsemen of 2012, Klaxons; Boys for sure. Dizzee Rascal's status as the mad pro- "Your name's not down, you're not coming in" shouts itself unconditionally to one of the greatest bands of fessor of north is confirmed with a surprisingly well- our time, and rightly so. the bassist - the massive crowd go mental, and received set, including the eccentric beats of "Jus' a

fl Rascal" and "I Luv IJ". It still would piss off the aver- support Klaxons collectively shit themselves. They're not used age Daily Mail reader a treat, but it's all a little mono- words/ mathew narborough & jonny price versity i to crowds of this size, and play like timid little boys chrome and serious with Lethal B's magnetic set still and burs dressed like a set of highlighter pens; The crowd in mind. The Yeah Yeah Yeah's throw in performance pictures/ patrick nixon Leeds zu don't notice though. as "Atlantis to Interzone" and an of the day with a rendition of 'Maps' that sends shiv- financial ace cover of rave classic "It's " set off ers down your spine, tens of thousands of people are everyone from the non-believers to the most ardent near silent and Karen 0 single handedly proves that there arc dayglo-fashionistas. Whilst Placebo remind the early at least p she was much better equipped to headline this festi- evening Leeds crowd just how much they've con- val as her band provides a set that confidently shits tuition tributed to the prevelance of the melancholic indie fundraisi all over the tiered and average hour and a half of rock that has dominated the line of this festival, Franz Ferdinand who close the night. Saville, thrashing through hits such as 'Every me Every you', scholarsi dents. pg16/festivesummerfls2/220906

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a medley of two previous albums 'Endtroducing..: and ACROSS THE TRACKS 'The Private Press' and got the majority of the already Granary Wharf. Leeds crowded tent moving, New material from the forthcom- 24th & 25th July ing, more hip hop inspired 'The Outsider', also went down brilliantly. MCs Keak Da Sneak and Turf Talk made an appearance on new song '3 Freaks' - SATURDAY Shadow's next single. All in all a great performance, but one that was perhaps undermined by the genius Across the tracks' festival, held in its city centre sur- and sheer scale of headliners Massive Attack. Fans roundings, starkly contrasts with the format of pretty weren't disappointed with tracks like 'Teardrop', much every festival out there this year trying to fill 'KarmaComa' and 'Angel' and everyone was mes- Michael Eavis' boots and thus offers the festival fan merised right up until the end of their set. What a something new and slightly different, largely because shame there were only three busses to take people it is not simply following the tried and tested formula home, ah well, its only a couple of miles back...right? of chucking a stage in a field with a load of tents, peo- ple. drugs ands alcohol. Instead of trying to re-create Glastonbury, Across the tracks offers music fans a fes- SUNDAY tival without mud, endless traffic jams, 5 mile hikes with camping equipment or a vast expanse of filthy, Sunday kicked of with indie rock veterans Eels. Their sweaty, stinky little oiks. But does it work? performance was mediocre and the disinterest of most The line up was quite simply a who's who of Leeds of the crowd was mirrored by E and co. Overplayed bands, and Saturday in the Blank Canvas served as a quirky gestures such as hijacking the jumbotron cam- very loud and very sweaty slap on the back for the singing half arsed soul in a dressing gown rather than eras and a frankly odd attempt at dancing by the sup- music scene. iLiketrains played a stunning set and getting some asses moving with his more appropriate port ('security guard'), were used as an attempt to dis- reminded all those who know them just why they are beat orientated music. Badly Drawn Boy wrapped up guise the obvious lack of any passion or enthusiasm. on the cusp of main-stream success, and offered those the festival in style playing a set that drew heavily on In contrast, The Zutons were lively and entertaining. who didn't a glance at their delightful dark yet beauti- his Mercury award winning debut album 'Hour of the particularly when interacting with the crowd. They ful melodic brand of post-rock. The Pigeon Detectives Bewilder beast'. His sketchy banter and almost unre- went down very well with the crowd, partly because overcame their ridiculous name to play what was actu- hearsed style served as a fitting close to a festival that they were obviously enjoying playing, and partly due ally a contender for set of the day, Although there hadn't entirely found its feet yet still managed to keep to their well thought out set list; building the crowd up music is certainly nothing new, the energy in their per- its attendees happy. Across the Tracks is not, and into a suitable frenzy for 'Valerie' and managing to regain an upbeat ambience after 'How Does It Feel'. formance is breath taking and they stir the crowd into shouldn't be compared with, Glastonbury. It is, howev- er, already confirmed by the promoters as an over- Live performances for The Flaming Lips are a given; the frenzy that it had been longing for all day. The giant balloons, bubbles, astronauts, party poppers, leidger,The Sunshine Underground and This et a] also whelming success and will be going ahead next year so be sure to get your tickets early. crowd surfing in a giant ball and lots of colourful out- delighted their fans throughout the day with impres- fits in the backing dancers. Unfortunately, the Lips sive sets but without providing anything particularly don't have many strong tracks; the latest single 'The spectacular or out of the ordinary. However, the day 02 WIRELESS FESTIVAL Yeah Yeah Yeah Song' went down very well, as did truly belonged to The Magic Numbers.Yes they are Harewood house. Leeds 'Yoshi= Battles the Pink Robots', but the sound levels 'mainstream', No they aren't punching through walls. 24th - 25th June were such that the crowd could never hear the full and yes their music is inoffensive and poppy but their aspect of the tracks. Luckily the colourful flamboyance energy is infectious and they play a set full of hits you and stage presence of Coyne made up for the didn't realize you knew all the words to with passion SATURDAY mediocre nature of their songs. and intensity that had been missing from the majority The Who benefited hugely from the crowd, the only of the rest of the bands throughout the day, Look out First up on Saturday are the Toronto-based band time in the day the masses showed full enthusiasm for for their new material because they may well just be Metric. Easy on the eye Emily Haines delivers a power- an act. Instrumentally they displayed impeccable around to stay. ful performance of YYYs influenced indie rock. Not musical ability, putting the days previous performers groundbreaking but a good start to day as the sun in the shade & making it obvious they've been playing SUNDAY started to emerge. With Danger Mouse in control and together since the 60s. The set list left something to be Cee-Lo giving a powerful performance, desired, including art over abundance of new tracks no The line up was quite simply a who's who of Leeds % bands

one had ever heard before, and a long appeal for Sunday was less spectacular and the line up needed kept the spirits high and the mood lively, although everyone to buy the new Internet-only EP — unneces- Work. Monkey Swallows the universe overcame the overplayed 'Crazy' got everybody's moving_ Next up sary, considering 9/10 of attendees were only there to demons of the sound desk to play a delightfully sum- was one half of producing powerhouses The Neptunes. see them. Overall The Who's performance was very mery and appropriate set of relaxing and quirky folk Pharell Williams' set was filled with hip-hop anthems enjoyable, beginning with 'Who Are You' and ending Poi) songs and complimented the equally summery which the crowd lapped up. N*E*R*D classics such as with a series of old school rock tracks which went and uplifting jazz vibes of the James Taylor quartet lapdance, 'Rock Star' and 'She Likes to Move' were down very well with the middle-aged, Volvo-estate dri- Who delighted the dancing masses with a back cata- also well received. ving crowd. All in all an enjoyable festival. The litmus logue of tunes spanning an impressive career, Starsky Josh Davis a.k.a. DJ Shadow refuses to be pigeon- test will come in a year when Glastonbury returns to and Hutch fans were not left wanting! DJ Format proved holed: Hip-Hop. Electronics, Turntablism, Trip-Hop, banish all pretenders. to be let down of the festival, after keeping the crowd Funk. Soul. He's welded it all into a breathtaking mix . words/ Stuart robinson & rachael ellis His first proper show for 3 and a half years began with ?fal"g a wapping 2 hours, most of whom lost interest, pictures/ emma dalzell he then came out and attempted to be Frank Sinatra,

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Director : Kevin Smith the films of Kevin 'Silent Bob' Smith Starring : Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson Clerks 1994 / Mallrats 1995 / Chasing Amy 1997 Rosario Dawson and Jason Mewes Dogma 1999 / jay and Silent Bob Strike Back 2001 Certificate : 15 Jersey Girl 2004

ver a decade ago. Kevin Smith dropped way by dancing, go-karts, and bestiality. As in echoes its predecessor, but it develops its own out of film school and made a low-budget many of Smith's films, the best moments come individual character - helped by the vibrant 0Mrn set in the convenience store where from conversations that are entirely irrelevant to colouration which immediately distances the film he worked. It was coarse, un-PC and very, very the plot. Like the incredibly geeky Lord of the from the black and white grunge vibe of the funny. With Clerks 2, he returns to the same Rings versus Star Wars argument: "There's only original. This is not a film for everyone. If you're dysfunctional characters 10 years further through one 'Return...', and it isn't of the King; its of the going be offended by a recurring Anne Frank joke their dead-end lives. And it's coarse, un-PC, and Jedi!". We are occasionally thrown sentimental then it's probably not for you. If not then it's very, very funny. The Quick-Stop of the original is monologues about friendship and the future, but definitely worth checking out, replaced by Mooby's fast food joint; with Dante Smith holds the balance of the movie well in hand, and Randal, now 30-year-olds, flipping burgers [or and these scenes are usually succeeded by **** a. a living. The film covers Dante's final day in New humour of the worst possible taste. And of course Simon Cillbert Jersey before moving to Florida with his rich, the film features the return of the cult icons jay and overbearing fiancé, getting sidetracked along the Silent Bob. The structure of Clerks 2 deliberately

A theatre/ what's on supporl versify and bu 'N' Under at The Carriageworks at 7:45pm How Many Miles To Basra? at the West The Vagina Monologues at The City Varieties Leeds Tickets £6. Yorkshire Playhouse. Tickets £11-22. Music Hall at 8pm. Tickets E11-15. ft nand 20th - 23rd September 23rd September - 21st October. 22nd September. there al Rugby based drama with legendary rugby Stage Adaptation of a BBC Radio 3 play based The world famous play based on funny and at least league captain Roger Millward as a guest star. on the affect of war on truth and responsibility. tuition moving female stories with guest celebrities. fundrui Saville seluiku dents. pg18/arts/ls2/220906 •

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The Departed Release : 6th October

If ever there was a film to redeem the remake it has to be The Departed. Martin Scorsese behind the camera and an all-star cast - DiCaprio! Damon! Nicholson! - take on a classic Hong Kong tale of cops and gangsters who infiltrate each others L' • ranks. Come October remake may no longer be a dirty word and The Departed could be a serious contender to finally get Scorsese his long over due Oscar. The Devil Release : 6th October

A behind the scenes glimpse into the bitchy, back stabbing world of fashion journalism as Anne Hathaway's fledgling journalist is employed by Meryl Streep's imperious magazine editor. Expect the usual tour de force performance from Streep, Hathaway's step to stardom move even closer and dialogue as sharp and snappy as the designs on the catwalk.

Marie Antoinette Casino Royale Release : 20th October Release : 17th November

At first glance Sophia ' Lost In Translation' Coppola's flick It's the 21st Bond so you must know the drill by now Except based on the queen of France during the French Revolution this time with Daniel Craig, victim of much undeserved flak doesn't exactly seem so spectacular. But since Coppola's when he was cast in the iconic role, the franchise promises to version of events is a punk retelling of the misunderstood 19 be a brutally brilliant back to basics for Bond, lames Bond. year old, played by Kirsten Dunst, who spends her decadent days partying to a soundtrack courtesy of The Cure, Air, The Strokes, Siouxsie and the Banshees and New Order means this IF is definitely one not to miss.

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This real life murder mystery The Prestige stars Adrien Brody as a private eye attempting to uncover the tragic supposed Release : 10th November suicide of the 1950s TV Superman, George Reeves. Why is a film about two rival Victorian magicians so must Donning the ill-fated red cape see? Not only is this directed by Christopher Nolan, of is Ben Affleck, who should be Memento and Batman Begins fame, but The Prestige features set to salvage his film career, stellar actors like Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Scarlett which was almost sunk by the Johanson and most importantly the star of the immortal .80s 'Bennifer' disaster, with his classic; Labyrinth. David Bowie. performance already winning That's why its going to be magic. him Best Actor at the Venice Film Festival. Wt.,10.50, ZV OVV% Hollywoodland t Vat ,.>t \j111211 Release : 1st December \c , vilt1/4 -"igA IAVW — a as •■•am. t2 r Ili rarkelille I airman Oftrirome — saa. I BOOKS

Thy Man Booker Prize poetry ha! The Mart Booker Prize for Fiction is the most In sharp contrast to last year's prize, where John Tyrannosaurus Rex versus its prestigious literary award in the UK. With a top Banville's The Sea fought off competition from The Corduroy Kid prize of £50,000 - not to mention a massive such famous names as Julian Barnes, Kazuo Simon Armitage goY amount of extra publicity for both the winner and Ishiguro and Zadie Smith, this year's list is focused 66pp, Faber, L12.99 the shortlisted authors, it regularly features some more around 'talent for the future', as one literary El of the biggest names in contemporary fiction. pundit described it. Many of the favoured authors Simon Armitage is one of the QV( However most readers would be hard pressed to from the longlist failed to make the cut, including most active and most popular recognise many names on the shortlist for this two time Booker Prize winner Peter Carey, and the poets working in the English dire year's prize, released last Thursday. bookmakers' early favourite David Mitchell. Of language today; from his The most well-known author on the list, and the shortlisted authors, only Waters and Grenville ground-breaking works in TV and radio, most uni favourite to win, is Sarah Waters, author of Tipping have been considered for the prize before. recently the poem Out of the Blue performed on the Velvet and Fingersmith, with her latest novel The prize will be judged by a panel chaired by Channel 5 to mark the anniversary of the by The Night Watch. A tale of the interconnected lives the academic, writer and reviewer Hermione Lee. September 11th attacks, to his inclusion in the of four people in post-war London, told in reverse- She is joined by poet Simon Armitage, novelist GCSE English anthology, he is without doubt the acr chronological order, it was nominated for this Candia McWilliam, critic Anthony Quinn and actor best known poet of our times. Tyrannosaurus Rex year's Orange Prize for female authors, and has Fiona Shaw. The winner will be announced on versus The Corduroy Kid is his latest volume of been given odds of 2-1 to win by William hill. Tuesday 10th October, with the awards ceremony poetry. Following closely at 3-1 is Mother's Milk by being broadcast live on BBC2. Armitage is best known for his ability to use Edward St. Aubyn, a sequel to his Some Rope idiomatic and vernacular language, combined with trilogy concerning the fortunes of a dysfunctional great skill at wordplay, to create poems that are upper-class family. The other four shortlisted witty and accessible, yet containing great subtlety books are The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai, and dept. However there is little poetry of this style The Secret River by Kate Grenville, Carry Me Down in this collection; instead he adopts a much more by M. j. Hyland, and the debut novel of Hisham conventionally poetic voice, which, which adding Matar, In The Country of Men. gravitas to the subjects dealt with, lacks the r- immediate realism and truthfulness usually found in his poetry. Clearly Armitage felt limited in that mode, and is here aiming for grander sweeps of non-fiction seriousness and weight, but the sentiment often feels thin, or even false, and he does not succeed in exploring any areas of the human condition with The No-Nonsense Guide to that Third World debt increased from $1,500 any greater depth than he could have previously. Globalization billion to $2,500 billion between 1990 and 2002; That said, the poetry is impressive; his imagery is Wayne Ellwood sums of money so preposterously massive that still rich and inventive, his insight into human 144pp, New Internationalist, £6.99 they become practically meaningless). However, psychology as sharp as ever, and he does tackle a while it is easy to read, it is hard to make sense of wider, more political range of topics. And his ftwomoll, "Loans", says Phil Tuinell, former (although this is solely because of the complexity trademark incisive wit is still present in many England cricketer and reality of the concepts involved), and the style is often places, sometimes slightly obscured by the style, star, at the start of an over-emphatic - you constantly feel like you are sometimes using this adopted seriousness to advert for some dubious 'debt Lt. meant to be shocked, amazed or revulsed by what satirical effect. consolidation' service or other; "I is written, although you're often not sure why, and Given the title, you would expect the predominant know nothing about loans''. Prior I certainly had the nagging feeling that some theme of the collection to be that of David and to reading The No-Nonsense Guide to statistics were used several times to support Goliath-style oppositions and conflict, and while Globalization, I would have been disinclined to conflicting arguments. also there are occasions this is touched on. the overriding feel is more agree with him. But having read all about the IMF, where figures are omitted that make you question nihilistic; there is a great deal about aging, decay VVTO and World Bank, and the bizarre mess of the integrity of the argument. and destruction. It is certainly evocative, yet you capital, debt, imports, exports, corporations, trade This book is of course presenting a single case; feel armitage may have lost a bit of the perspective agreements and so on that constitute the global while it does mention potential benefits of global that made him such a great observer; h is perhaps economic environment, I'm beginning to feel that integration it clearly sees nothing good in the too engaged with the sentiment, if not the subjects, loans are not the only thing I know nothing about. situation as it now stands, and so it combines its that he decribes. While the purpose of this book is to inform and informative purpose with a political one, that said, This could quite well be a transitional work; educate the reader about precisely such matters, I'm not sure much of a case could be made in Armitage is trying to develop towards a poetry of as far as I'm concerned the whole of economics is favour of the situation as it now stands, and, given greater scope, and he certainly achieves many a conceptual write-off, and all this book did for the wealth of factual information it contains, I moments of great insight and beauty. However in me was to confirm that. would certainly recommend this book to anyone many cases the grand poetic voice sits uneasily on This book is part of a range of 'No-Nonsense wishing to understand the forces at work in top of his sharp-minded observations, and until he Guides' published by the New Internationalist, today's global economy. can find a way to reconcile the two his work will feel A covering a range of burning issues at the heart of 6/10 slightly compromised. today's society, such as Climate Change. Human 8/10 support Rights and Fair Trade, intended to alert readers to Christopher Tedd the problems faced by the world today, and give and bu them the necessary understanding, presumably, to Leeds do something about making it better, And this Inland guide is certainly comprehensive, packed with there at facts, figures and acronyms and lacking nonsense at least of any kind (apart from, perhaps, when you learn tuition fundrai Saville scholar dents, pg20/books/Is2/220906

_a- miss— ,@;12.11.G facebook John Schies' Pieffia

ave you joined the revolution that John et tees e U. 1.12t.1-1- is Facebook.YES? NO? Well even if Hyou haven't (yet), chances are this I_Drtclon little known 'friend networking website has in someway touched your life. if, on the other hand, this is all new to you (you've only just come to lends and are still sporting a timid 'myspace' profile) then get with the tiznesi Facebook allows people at universities to stay in contact, share photos, organise events and (infamously) poke each other. Of course, this is all beside the point, when it come to this website there's only one use 1F 7 ere I that makes it so readily attractive and that's Rudd h., 1• stalking people. Nothing suits our society rAU

f!•. more then having a good nose on everyone else and Facebook delivers such ....eel perversions in lashings. Recent changes 'eve e'ee i III:' have turned your personal homepage in to ' a reconnaissance dungeon of epic i-tei- proportions. Delivered in front of your very Peeeeee I eyes is not only what Kevin's been saying to rsh rr 511,1. 1 ,1'1 vny, try, r I -. Ruby, but also How Mark met Sara. why V Friend Details edit Chris and Kerry aren't talking and, not forgetting, the photos posted by Simon from John is your friend. You met hum Baja the night before.The whole thing is randomly. quite exhausting. And whoever knew that the internet could create such snobbery? From people who will only receive friend ir Mutual Friends invitations and never ask to other, more 4 friends in coalmen adept users, who quickly hunt down new members to gain credit for stealing their 'wall' virginity. Think you've got more t friends than me? Should a man be measured by his mini-feed? Suffice to say, Facebook is popular at Leeds University with over 12,000 students 1• , 11.17;t•4 141 signed up. Be careful, though, its not for the weak among us and continues to be highly addictive. I'm Tim Sevenths, add me.

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Unearthed by Michael Moore, the filmmaker MONEY HISTORY responsible for Fahrenheit 9/11, this website documents www.surely-not.com http://en.wilcipedia.org/wiki/Leeds_Student theexploits of fax right Baptist preacher Fred Phelps. Even though the hont page warning "Gospel preaching Made by students for students, some LT. geek The Leeds Student newspaper is one of the largest ahead" suggests an educated ineestigation in to the role discovered an almost fool proof way to play internet and most active in the country so accordingly it has a of homosexuality within religion, don't expect anything casinos at their own game. The idea is that if you play vast history to go with it. Come in to the office to see so civilised. What actually transpires is the ranting of a black jack in a purely mathematical way, not trying every paper from 1960 but if you want to learn about comedic band of extremist xenophobes hell bent on to win or lose you can play enough hands to qualify the people who've made it great, get on over to moaning about gay people they've never met. The for a free cash gift. For example, when I put £50 into Wikipedia. Here you'll find every editor back to the slogan 'aids cures fags' is frequently used, supposedly an Internet casino they promised, as an introductory '70s and even more miscellaneous alumni now justifying trips to HIV sufferer's funerals and offer, to give me the same back once I'd bet my working in the media world, including Peter Morgan picketingthe ceremony. Along side pictures and original deposit ten times. So, after playing 500 writer of The Queen'. Also discover recent awards deremload-able MP3 sermons, the most shocking rounds of blackjack following the system, there was we've received and information about both the Met discovery is animations of dead peoples faces my free £50 to go with the £20 I won on top my filly. 5 Disaffiliation and Frank Ellis. surrounded by flames with a counter below informing days later it in the bank and I'm happily buying RAM how many days they've been in hell. I don't expect you for my PC. This is by no means a sure thing. there is a to enjoy looking at the site, but I hope you understand chance you'll lose everything and you really have to FAR RIGHT how much of a pantomime they've created around persevere and avoid any silly hunches. I don't www. go cihat esf ags.e om something that really probably wouldn't ever be an condone gambling, but the idea itself is invigorating. issue in their lives if they didn't go looking for it. Prepare to be shocked so much that it's laughable. words/ Tim Sevenths

,M1 .12 DIM* INMAN. elmexiaamre ine...4runimisrinare drum11 Magary 1 TELEVISION • I, CATS AND TREES I remember one glorious summer kind of thing) but on equally notable budding contestants dreams are when I was 10, we found wild kittens in occasions the only option does appear stamped on and left feeling both stupid our garden living in a tree. peacefully. I to be the sack and the tree. I'm not just and worthless. the panel, powerful and Thi remember thinking, 'my that's a lot of talking about the kids, the parents are triumphant after crushing another soul. cats', and before my thought process equally as deserving. on the Occasionally however, a contestant will hai could go any further, our friendly other hand loves kids. He loves kids so put forward an idea that a never neighbor had arrived, hands on hips, much he has a new program on unanimous member of the panel wants its shaky his head towards the tree. The old Channel Four dedicated to helping to get on board with, predictably the man gathered up those kittens, them slim down and become vvinners. panel enter a battle of the egos where go' carefully placed them in a bag and On a rigorous diet and training system they all but get their check books out to before I knew it, was swinging that bag under the influence and guidance of Ian prove their personal business prowess El of cats against the tree, their home. Wright, these pre-pubescent tubs of and worth. This week has shown me that OV( 'Useless vermin', he called them. lard surely couldn't fail to shed the many people are useless and like Ian Shocked, indeed I was, and Left thinking pounds and run like the wind, riot so, Wright, Supernanny and the din no one deserves to die in that manner, they fail and are humiliated. II you are contestants on Dragon's Den we can all against a tree'. However. I was fortunate fed up with watching television fail, but I still don't agree with my uni enough to watch Channel Four's productions geared around saving neighbor smashing those cats against 'Supernanny' on Tuesday. Every week children that nature has previously the tree_ by 'Supernanny' comes to the rescue to re- selected to fail, then watch Dragon's educate both children and parents on Den as I did this week. This program words/ andrew ede3ston acr why it's not ok to drink bleach, swear gives contestants the opportunity to openly, throw bricks, abuse goldfish pitch their business to a panelist of and simply behave in ways which are successful entrepeneurs in the hope of both unacceptable and mindless. On getting financial backing. The usual many occasions 'Supernanny' does scenario goes a little something like succeed in instilling some form of this... Contestant = 'Basically it's a sanity back into the family unit (family rug that can also be used as a meals, bed times, toys with edges, that frisbee...' Panel= 'Get out'. In seconds

r NEWS PriAan Break A fond farewell to Ramsey street reporting Yes or No

Neighbours has just celebrated its Stingray carries on improving his 5000th episode and in a timely directorial talents and creates a hit Yes coincidence we've decided to franchise of films based around the bring an end The Erinsborough art of mooning. Now he lives with To put it bluntly, Michael Schofield is exceptionally cool. His News element of the TV section by his artist wile Sky and their son, plan for escape, although if thought about, is highly implausible looking to the future at what could Bamboo, in a huge mansion on and ridiculous, is some how made believable because be happening by episode 6000. , built when the Schofield is so damn cool and handsome. I find myself Hoyland's house, the KM ski's house forgetting that a pillow is in no way a decent substitute for a Bastions of the 'borough, Susan and and the House of Trousers were all body in a bed, and that prison guards really should not be Karl, carry on with their on/off rela- knocked down. The former resi- tionship, When together the does dents now live in Lou's caravan fooled by this sort of trickery, but with Schofield, anything is wandering eye (and hand) passes park. Eating moss. Probably. possible. Even if Schofield was caught taking a crap, you can over Katie, then as the years pass bet there would be a reason for it, possibly to expel a map or by, janae and finally key stored in the Peaces, and the person catching him do it t. (she's old enough by then), carry- words/ laurie whitwell would end up ing on his ridiculous Hugh Heffner- like talents when pulling the ladies. words/ andrew edelston When not together Susan continues her ability to get any love interests killed. Firstly she hooks with Paul Robinson who by now has no !firths No at all and is half-man half-machine, R4:1SAY3-1 but their love is short lived when What's that, another ridiculously Icing running American TV Paul forgets he's now basically an drama with an incredibly intricate and complicated plot which electrical appliance and has a bath. is saturated in greasy twists and turns? Just what the doctor A Suze then flirts a bit with Harold. ordered! Or, actually, not. The unique premise of this show is but before long he is eaten by a uppoti that a guy whose brother's on Death Row for a crime he didn't tramp while helping out at the commit has to bust him out of prison before his execution date. and hi' Salvation Army. She resolves to end her bad luck with men and decides Nice. But wasn't the concept of 'innocent-man-breaks-out-of- she's a lesbian, proposing to Lynn. H jail' just about covered in The Shawshank Redemption? Oh but finitrich this time the main guy covers himself in tattoos to help aid said there al On their wedding day however Joe Scully returns just in time from the escape? Don't I remember the protagonist in the film abyss of Sheila's Wheels adverts to tuition words/ laurie whitwell fundrui slay Lynn with a random bear trap. s:cholar dents.

Ut S! A! ...U! S! At That's across the pond visit one of pitching and putting action the cry you'll hear if you our shore's golf courses to quarrels with our European Golf Ryder Cup riday tune in to watch any of the support their country as neighbours can be forgot- day's play at the 2006 the sport's best Americans ten as the continent unites 8:30p.m eptember Ryder Cup. It's that time in go toe to toe with the best to fend of golfs superpow- the golfing Calendar when Europe has to offer. For er. BBC2 2 flag-waving patriots from these few days of driving, Laurie Whitwell 000 ONE TWO five 6.00 Breakfast 9.15 To Buy or Not 6.00 Close 7.00 (BBC: Batfink. 7.05 6,00 GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.10 The Hoobs. 6.35 The Hoobs. 6.00 The Save Ums! 6.10 Bear in to Buy. 10.00 City Hospital. 11.00 lime Warp Trio. 7.30 Roar. 8.30 Show. 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 725 Friends the Big Blue House. 6.40 The club Homes under the Hammer. 11.30 CBeebies: 8.50 Our Planet. Bojo Beoch Club . 130 ITV Lunchtime 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond. Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his FRIDAY NIGHT Bargain Hunt. 12.15 Cash in the 9.00 Underground Ernie. 9.10 Come News; Weather. 2.00 Crime Hour. 8.25 Will and Grace. 8.55 Frasier Best Friend Corky. 6.50 HIS, 7.25 TAKEAWAY Attic. 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Outside. 9.30 Me Too! 9.50 Gordon Midsomet Murders 3.00 Paz. 3.05 9.30 Make Me a Grown Up. 9.55 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends with Cameron Regional News and Weather 1.40 the Garden Gnome. 10.00 Big Cook Pomp. 3.10 Curious George. 3.25 Tate Modern. 10,00 A-Z of Your 7AS Make Way for Noddy 8.00 Fifi Neighbours. 2.05 Doctors. 235 Little Cook. 10.20 Pingu. 10.30 Spongebob Squarepants. 3.40 Grizzly Head. 10.50 Tate Modem. 1055 and the Flowertots. 8.15 Peppa Pig. Diagnosis Murder. 3.20 BBC News; Razzledazzie 1050 Schools.. Primary franny's HT ESESSION Tales For Gruesome Kids. 4.00 Tate Modem, 11.00 My Crazy Life 8.20 Funky Valley. 8.30 disco punk & retro incbe Weather, Regional News. 3.25 History. 11.00 Primary History. Black Heartbeat. 5.00 The Sharon 11.25 National Gallery. 1130 The feet. 8.45 Bird Bath. 8.50 Sandy and Badger and Badger. 3.40 Pitt and History - Black Britons. 11.20 The Osbuume Show X Factor Special, Deadly Knowledge Show 1155 Mr Flapper. 9.00 . Coco Kantrop. 4.05 What's New Scootry- Chat Room. 11.40 Around Scotland. 6.00 Calendar.. National Gallery. 12.00 News at 1030 Trisha Goddard. 1130 five DIRTY CASH Do& 4.30 Stupid. 455 The 12.00 The Daily Politics. 1230 6.30 ITV Evening News; Noon. 1230 Third Watch. 1.25 FILM news. 12.00 Home and Away 12.30 Indic. 3.80's with Superfly Ky & Chicken George Stammer. 5.25 Newsrounrl 5.35 Tennis: Davis Cup 2006.1.50 Racing Weather. Up Periscope (1959). War. starring BrainTeaser. 1.40 FILM: Above and Neicilibours from Ascot. 3.20 Crawshaw's 7.00 Emmerdale. Chas is lames Garner and Edmond O'Brien. Beyond (2001). Drama, steering Evolution 6.00 BBC News and Weather. Watercolour Cruise 3.45 Flog itl adamant - she's a Dingle. not 3.30 Countriewn. 4.15 Come Dine Costes Mandylor and Alexandra Paul. FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT 6.30 Look North; Weather. 4.30 Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 a King Debbie resolves to with Me. 4.45 Deal ce No Deal. 5.30 3.40 FILM: My Brother's Keeper students only 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef. Weakest Link. look alter number one from A Place in the Sun. (19941. Drama, starring John Lithgow Faversham John Torode and Greg 6.00 Eggheads. now on. Val backs out of the 6.00 The Simpsons. and Annette O'Toole 5.30 five news NEW BOHEMIA Wallace are looking for the 6.30 Extreme Dreams with pub deal after Diane 6.30 Hollyoaks. 6.00 Home and Away. funk. hip hop, reggae country's top celebrity chef Ben Fogie. humiliates her. 7.00 Channel 4 News 6.30 Two and a Half Men. This week's heats have 7.00 A Wild Cornish Summer. wwwitecomiemmerdale. 8.00 : T4 American sitcom about a Firek SUP DISCO produced four winners, but Documentary looking at 7.30 Sean Special. June Sarpong and well-off bachelor whose classic rock & new indie only two will make it through Cornwall in summer, the probes Jamie about his dark Sieve Jones chat to Justin brother and young nephew to the semi-finals. perfect time to enjoy the secrets. Fiz nearly kills Timberlake about his new move in with him. Charlie HIFI Ciub 7.30 A Question of Sport. Sue dramatic landscape and Blanche as her driving album entitled falls for a seemingly crazy FUNKSOULNATKM r. Barker hosts the sports quiz. spectacular wildlife of the lessons go horn twit to FutureendLovesounds• and woman called Fsankie. 70's soul, funk with DJ's Kato & Jay Waterhouse Regular team captains Ally south-western tip of Britain worse Liam and Danny he also performs his hit 7.00 five news. McCoist and Man Dawson 7.30 The Trees That Made continue to spar. single Sexyback. 7.30 Great White Attack. Northern Light lead their teams of sporting Britain. Jon Hammerton and www.ity.cornkoronationstree 8.30 The Simpsons. As Nature documentary. A SUGI stars through six rounds of Tony Kirkham present a Christmas approaches, Lisa tourist video shows a surfer minimal house with Big- sporting trivia documentary series about 8.00 Tonight with Trevor searches for a new religion, being attacked by two Great ger Than Jesus & gueSts 8.00 EastEnders. The Fox family Britain's trees. They go in McDonald. Peaches Geldof because Mr Burns has taken White Sharks off the coast of The Subculture panic when Owen goes search of the oak's finest attempts to show how the over her church and is South Africa. A freak HOSPITAL RADIO missing. Billy worries that achievements A) from Bronze magazine and fashion worlds running it like a corporation. occurrence or were they indie• emo, rock Honey is shutting him out Age boat to the Mary Rose. are making youngsters 9.00 Star Stories. Comedy series targeting humans? Wardrobe but both are buoyed by a 8.00 York Minster. Documentary ashamed and guilt-ridden taking an irreverent look at 8.30 The All Star Talent Show. EXPANSIONS surprise visitor. Sean works series about life in York about their body shapes. the lives of celebrities. Kevin Anti Peters and Myleene world sounds: acts &DJS his charm on Ruby. Minster. Music is central to 8.30 Airline. Christmas, and a Bishop assumes the guise of Klass present the celebrity The Green Green Grass. fife at the Minster and a Paris-bound passenger who George Michael. talent show With Roy Walker. Wire 9.30 Best of the Worst. Rhona Cameron, July LIVE FOREVER Sitcom spin-off from Only select group of boys and girls screams in fury when she's 8titpoo with Steve & JP Fools and Horses. Boycie provide the voices that lead not permitted to carry a box Comedy panel show Gooden, Phats and Small considers a move into local the worship. of Christmas udders. celebrating the highest singer Ben and Dern MP gigs poirtia, while Bryans ex- 8.30 Golf: The Ryder Cup. Gary Manager Leo Jones steps in achievements in hitting rock Lentil Opik. Cockpit fiance finds a cure for Lineker hosts to deal with the situation. bottom, with team captains 10.00 The Truth about Trinity CAT THE DOG New episode with David Mitchell and Johnny and Susannah. lesbianism. 10.30 Newsnight.11.00 9.00 Rebus. Vine 9.00 Magnolia. Comedy-drama Newsnight Review. Ken Stott. A millionaire Vaughan and guests Frankie Documentary charring the AJANTA about an ex-con who is 11.35 BBC Four on BBC Two philanthropist is found with a Boole and Brian McFadden. style gurus' ascent to TV trying to keep his decorating Originals: The Fall • The hooker during a hrothel raid 10.00 The superstardom. Featuring Wardrobe business afloat even if it Wonderful and then his wife is discovered Show. The Voice of an Angel mtenaews with colleagues BUGALU FOUNDATION means courting a racist site Frightening World of dead and he becomes a shows she has other strings and friends, their first TV manage to get a contract for Mark E Smith. murder suspect to her harp with het own appearances, and the *top tickets a housing estate. 12.35 Blast friday! 1.05 Close 2.00 10.30 ITV News. The latest show, featuring a mix of knockbacks along the way. fel: 08709 913913 10.00 BBC News; Regional BBC learning Zone: Open University national and international celebrity guests, sketches, 11.00 Trust Me I'm a Holiday web: olive.co,uk/lic kerb News; Weather. and General Interest Blast Friday! news, plus national weather candid camera stunts, Rep. Lucy Rusedskl and Andy 1035 Friday Night with 2.30 An A to 2 of English 3.00 Including local news audience fun and singing. Goldstein present the show MAXIMO PARK. 1 Oct. d Jonathan Ross. A mix of Healthy Living... Back to the Future. programmes. 10.50 Da Ali G Show. in which celebs learn haw to Manchester Academy music and celebrity chat with 330 Population Transition in Italy. 11.00 Heirs 10tchen. With 11.30 Whatever. be holiday reps in Crete. The BABYSHAMBLES: 2 Oct, Jonathan Ross. Guests 4.017 Containing the Pacific. 430 Gordon Ramsay 12.20 4 Music: 4 Music Priments. reps are about to face their 1....Er Leeds University include Ian Wright, Brenda Family Ties: The Story of Adeline Yen 12_001TV Play' The Mint. 4.25 Too Scissor Sisters. 1.05 The Dead Zune. first assessment on their new Blethyn and ex-model Sophie Mee, 5.00 Myth and Music. 530 Many Cooks 5.00 IN 155 The Dead Zone. 2.45 FILM: Last jobs. Anderton, while music comes Landscape Mysteries. Nightscreen 530 ITV Early Night (1998). Drama, starring Don 12.05 The Sex Tapes that Shocked from Sparks. Morning News McKellar and Sandra Oh. 4.20 Ballet the World. 1.05 The Great Big British 11.35 MOBO Awards 2006. 1.10 Changed My Life. Ballot Hoot 5.20 Quiz. 5.35 Wildlife 505 joins BBC News 24. Countdown. rxivn I 073

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This is Jack Nicholson at thought of being alone in his best, crazy. Even with- the mountains with him is The Shining Saturda out the haunted hotel set- truly terrifying and yet ting, Nicholson always somehow amusing. This 10:30p.m am: gives of the vibe that he film also boasts a small Septembe would take great pleasure boy who talks to his finger BBC2 2 in watching you die, so the and an old lady in a bath. Andre Edelston OgrE TWO itv 4 five 6.00 Breakfast. 10.00 Saturday 6.00 CBeebies: Rauletfazzle. 4.35 Calendar News, Sport and 6.05 Making It. 6.10 The Hoobs. 6.00 Sunrise 6.55 Harry and his club Kitchen, 11.30 Ever Wondered 6.20 Fimbles. 6.40 Pingu. 6.45 Weather 4.50 ITV News; Sports 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 FIA GT Bucket Full of Dinosaurs. 7.10 Baia Beach Club about Fond 12.00 BBC News: Rubbadubbers. 7.00 CBBC: Results: Weather. 5.05 New You've Championship. 7.30 Lloyds TSB Harry and his Bucket Full of NOWTHAT'S WHAT I Weather. 12.10 Football Focus. Batfink. 7.10 Astro Boy. 7.30 Been Framed) Insurance British F3 International Dinosaurs. 7.25 Miss Spider's CALL A PARTY 1.00 Grandstand. 1.05 World Dennis the Menace. 7.50 Watch 6.05 Ant & Dec's Saturday Series. 8.00 The Morning Line. Sunny Patch Friends. 7.45 Make Thy Cockpit Road Race Cycling. 1.50 Racing My Chops 8.15 Legend of the Night Takeaway. The 8.55 14: funtrama 9.25 T4: Way for Noddy. 8.00 Gerald THE GARAGE from Ascot. 4.30 Final Score. 5.30 Dragon. 8.40 What's New Scooby- new series continues as Friends. 9.50 T4: Princess Nikki. McBoing Boing. 8.30 The Book of haf. rock, metal, post-punk BBC News; Regional News; Doo7 9.00 TML 11.45 Beyonce performs her latest 10.30 T4: Popworld. 11.20 74: Pooh. 9.05 Jane and the Dragon. Faversham Weather. 5.50 FILM: Men in Black Sportsround. 12.00 See Hear. single, Harry Hill and Al lamella: T4 Special. 11.55 14: 935 Blue Water High. 10.05 its BAD SNEAKERS (1997). Science Fiction, starring 12.45 Tennis: Davis Cup 2006. Murray take on the duo in Totally Boyband. 12.30 T4: Freaky. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. rock, punk. soul, hiphop Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, 1,45 Film 2006 with Jonathan Beat the Boys. and Little 1.00 74: Charmed 2.00 Channel 4 11.05 RAD' The Groms Ride the go' 7.20 National Lottery Day: Ross. 2.15 Star Trek: The Next Ant and Dec hit the road Racing. 4.05 A Place in the Sun: Rockies. 1135 FILM: Columba: HiFi Club Everyone's a Winner. Generation. 3.00 FILM: The Alamo with the Jiggy Bank. Home or Away, 5.05 Wife Swap. Double Shock (1973). Crime, BOOGALOO CLUB (1960). Western, starring John Tonight, Noel starring Peter Falk and Martin El funk, jazz lahn, reggae Noel Edmonds presents a 7.20 The X Factor. 6.05 Deal or No Deal. live celebration for National Wayne and Richard Wldmark. 5.40 judges Simon Cowell, Edmonds hosts the show Landau. 1.15 FILM Desperately Highwood Hotel Lottery Day. Includes a one- Flog It! Sharon Osbourne and Louis that pits players against The Seeking Susan (1985). Comedy, OV( JOE PALOOKA'S off game show, Plus the 6.40 FILM Operation Walsh audition hopefuls in Banker for the chance to starring Rosanna Arquette and SOULVILLE Thunderball and Dream WWII and London. win up to a quarter of a Madonna. FILM: Multiplicity soul Crossbow (1965). 3.10 dirt 60's. Motown, r&b. Number draws, and the adventure in which a hand- For all the latest X Factor million pounds. (1996). Comedy, starring Michael My House National lottery Awards. picked team of daring Allied news and gossip go to 6.50 Channel 4 News. Keaton and Andie MacDowell, uni BACK TOO 1320 Casualty. Medical drama agents must Infiltrate and wwwity.com. Including sport and 5.15 FILM. Dennis the Menace with Layo & Bushwacka series Charlie Is reunited attempt to destroy a Nazi 8.20 Who Wants to Be a weather Strikes Again (1998) Comedy, by with his old friend Duffy on rocket base, starring George Millionaire? Chris Tarrant 7.20 Bremner, Bird and starring Don Rickies and George MISCHIEF a team trip to Cambodia, Peoparo and Tom Coolsnay hosts the award-winning Fortune. Topical satirical Kennedy. acr dance, party, r'n't3 but Is unimpressed with 8.30 Golf: Ryder Cup quiz show in which comedy from Rory Bremner 6.30 House. US hospital drama. Duffy's new partner. Highlights. contestants can double and collaborators John Bird When a mobster about to RehabSPEEDQUEEN 9.10 National Lottery Day: 10.30 FILM: The Shining (1980). their cash prize with each and John Fortune, With spill the beans in court I Opm 'fit 4ani Everyone's a Winner, Chilling horror story based correct answer and win up party conference season collapses, House and the Noel Edmonds continues on the Stephen King novel to a million pounds. started, it's off to the coast team must diagnose the The Subculture his live celebration for about a troubled novelist 9,20 Afterlife. New. Alison goes for sand, sea and satire. problem so he can testify. SUBSTANCE National Lottery Day, giving who takes his family to an to a prison after a series of 8.20 Elizabeth I. Another 7.15 NCIS. Series following altemOlive audience members and empty hotel in the mysterious suicides occur. chance to see the award- special agents who University, Stylus viewers the chance to play mountains. where he begins There she encounters a winning drama, portraying Investigate crimes WAX:ON for big money. Includes the to lose his mind, starring Jack serial killer, who blames a the Virgin Queen in her connected to the Navy. A wilt) Erol Aiken' & more Lotto Super Draw. Nicholson and Shelley Duvall malevolent spirit on his later years, exposing the navy commander who was Viva Cuba Central 9.50 BBC News; Weather. 12,30 loins BBC News 24 2.00 own murderous spree. conflict between her sense in the habit of making 100% LATINO 10.10 . BBC Learning Zone: Open 10.20 Parkinson. Dame Edna of duty and the instincts of enemies seems to I Highlights from the and Everage, Emmy Award- her heart. spontaneously combust. salsa. Cuban University General Premiership, with Interest: Building by Numbers. winning actress Dame 10.20 FILM: Saturday Night 8.00 five news and sport. Wardrobe Manchester United 2.30 Cancer Pioneers. 2.45 Truth Helen Mirren and fashion Fever (1977). Classic The latest national and SATURDAY NIGHT UVE travelling to newly Will Out. 3.00 Making Contact gurus and hard-hitting drama about a international headlines jazz funk & hip-hop promoted Reading, 3.30 Open Advice: Exam Success. join 1970s disco-dancing, blue- with Helen Fospero. Warehouse Champions Chelsea at 4.00 In Search of Syphilis. 4.30 Michael tonight, as collar Brooklynite, who 8.15 NOS. Series following ELETROCUTE Fulham, and Liverpool Tropical Forest: the Conundrum of Razorlight provide the finds meaning to his life in special agents who electro & house entertaining Spurs at Coexistence. 5.00 The Next Big music_ the nightclubs of New York investigate crimes gigs Anfield. Thing. 5.30 The Addiction Files. 11.20 ITV News. The latest City, Marring John Travolla and connected to the Navy The Brudenell Social 11.30 Rawl ITVI national and international Karen Lynn Gainey team Investigate a marine's Club Leigh Centurions begin Saturday September 23, 2006 news, plus national 12.35 4 Music: Ibiza Rocks with wife who killed an Intruder ate XI, Vatican Jet, The Call their push for a return to 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 Saturday Cooks weather Sony Ericsson. 1.05 4 Music who tried to rape her. 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Concluding sport gigs Gloucester Cathedral. the most Inhospitable vvww.inecomtemmerdale. part of the drama by Nigel 6.00 FILM: Short Circuit il Cardigan Arms 7.35 BBC News: Regional places on Earth. He explores 7.30 Coronation Street. Sean Williams, portraying the (1988). Sequel to the DANBERT NOBACON. News: Weather. the formidable terrain of shares Violet's suspicions Virgin Queen in her later popular sci-ti adventure Fran Rodgers, Lost about a military robot that Night's TY The Gary 8.00 Casualty. Medical drama the Sahara Desert. over Jamie. Audrey calls on years, exposing the conflict Stewart Band, Severlocie series. In Cambodia, 10.00 . a friend when faced with between her sense of duty accidentally becomes Comfort battles to save a Adrian Chiles presents an emergency. Charlie tricks and the Instincts of her 'humanised', Marring Fisher young mother in potentially highlights of the Tracy and plans a night of heart. Sievers and Cynthia 0113b fatal labour Bad at Holby Premiership match between passion with Maria. 10.00 FILM: The Texas 8.00 Greatest Ever wwwitecom/coronationstre Chainsaw Massacre Blockbuster Movies. Faveisharn City ED, a bus crash tests Newcastle United and DUB FROG RECORDS resources. Everton at St James's Park, et. (2003). Remake of the Giles Coren counts down 9,00 Jane Eyre. Dramatisation plus a review of all the 8.00 The Royal. While treating 1974 horror in which a the top 40 most popular New Roscoe of Charlotte Bronte's novel. weekend's Premiership a sick baby, Dr Goodwin group of college kids come cinema smashes, as voted THE BEAUTIFUL COUCH After surviving a harsh uncovers dark secrets its across deranged chalnsaw- for in an exclusive poll of highlights. Univereity charity school, orphan Jane 10.45 Extras. Sitcom about a parents would prefer to wielding cannibal Five's viewers and readers ALL AMERICAN Eyre takes a job as a former TV extra who gets keep hidden. Rose and Leatherface and his inbred of The Times. Contributors REJECTS* governess. But her peaceful his own show. David Bowie Ormerod have an adventure family of psychopaths include Billy Zane. existence is suddenly sums up Andy as a little fat at a hippy encampment. stalling Jenaihan MCKIM and 10.45 Trust Me I'm a Holiday shattered. man who sold his soul, as 9.00 Mldsomer Murders. Erica Leerrisen Rep. Celebrities learn how *top tickets 10,00 BBC News; Weather. Andy discovers that fame New. Barnaby investigates a 11.50 Franz Ferdinand: Rock to be holiday reps in Crete let 08709 913913 web: alive.co.ukikkets 10.15 Panorama. isn't all he thought it'd be. decades-old battle of the it to Rlo. 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LATE NIGHT LAUNDRY Weather. 1_40 Neighbours. 2.05 Gnome. 10.00 Big Cook Little George. 3.30 Mr Beam The 11.00 My Crazy Life 11.30 The 8.00 RI and the Flowenots, 8,15 hay student night Doctors. 2.35 Diagnosis Murder , Cook. 10.20 Pirigu, 10.30 Let's Animated Series, 3.45 Spungebob Deadly Knowledge Show. 12.00 Peppa Pig. 8.20 Funky Valley. 8.30 HIFI Club 3.20 BBC News; Weather. Regional Write a Story. 10.50 Around Squarepants. 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 News at Noon. 12.30 Third Watch. Franny's Feet. 8.45 Bird Bath. 8.50 its SWEET REVIVAL News. 3.25 Bodges and Badger Scotland: The lacobites 11.10 The The Sharon Osboume Show X 1.25 King of Queens. 1.55 FILM, Sandy and Mr Flapper. 9.00 The r'o'b, hlp hop & soul with 3.40 Mona the Vampire. 4.05 Pitt Maths Channel - Year 4, 11.20 The Factor Special The Black Swan (1942). Adventure, Wright Stuff. 10.30 Trisha DJs Bent Boko, Martin R and Kantrop. 4.30 Kerchingl 5.00 Maths Channel - Year 4. 11.30 The 6.00 Calendar, starring Tyrone Power and Goddard. 11.30 five news 12.00 & Mark Poppy Luton Blue Peter. 5.25 Newsround. 5.35 Labour Party Conference 1.00 6.30 ITV Evening News: Maureen O'Hara. 3.30 Countdown. Home and Away, 12.30 £1 Northern Lilghl Neighbours, What? Where? When? Why? 1.15 Weather. 4.15 Deal or No Deal. 5.00 The BrainTea.ser 1.40 FILM: Jack Reed: BAMBOOZLE 6,00 BBC News and Weather. Something Special. 1.30 Working 7.00 Emmerdale. New Paul O'Grady Show. A Search for Justice (1994). Action. commercial, lunky & 6.30 Look North: Weather. Lunch. 2.00 The Flying Gardener, 7.30 Coronation Street. 6.00 The Simpsons. starring Brian Dennehy and Charles OVE jackin. house 7.00 Celebrity MasterChet. 2.15 The Labour Party Conference. 8.00 Tonight with Trevor 6.30 Hollyoaks. S Dutton. 3.35 five news update. 3.40 FILM. Jane Doe - The Harder Oceans 7.30 inside Out. 3.45 Flog Iti 4.30 Ready Steady McDonald. Two women 7.00 Channel 4 News. din RENDELVU 8.00 EastEnders, Owen has Cook_ 5,15 Weakest Link_ who previously concealed 7.55 3 Minute Wonder. They Fall 12005). Mystery, starring -funky house & dance, vanrshed after threatening 6.00 Eggheads. their mammoth spending 8.00 Eris-patches: The Labour tea Thompson and Joe Penny 5.30 uni r'n't, hip hop & disco to kill himself. Honey puts 6.30 Extreme Dreams with habits from their Loans Scandal. The five news on a brave face for lack. Ben With Ben unsuspecting partners, current affairs programme 6.00 Home and Away. Queens Court .17f investigates the world of 5.30 Two and a Half Men. by THE PINK POUND Stacey gives Sean her reveal the true extent chart 8 dance music blessing to date Ruby. 7.00 A Seaside Parish. Series their debt and attempt to Labour Party funding and American sitcom. 8.30 Rogue Traders. Matt following Rev Christine move forward. unravels the possible legal 7.00 five news. act. gigs Aflwright and Dan Musser in her Cornish 8.30 Coronation Street. consequences of the secret 7.15 The Gadget Show. Cult Cocepif parish. Rumours that the Shelley's secret is out - but loans and cash for peerages show for gadget lovers. CERYS MATTHEWS Penleado go undercover in search of service providers vicar is thinking of quitting ran a devastated Bev keep allegations. Which is the toughest Dr Wu's trying to rip off clients. This have got people worried. it to herself? Liam lies to 9.00 Badyshock: Kill Me to mobile phone in Britain- THE RUBIKONS time, it's salesmen who 7.30 Return to Tuscany. Danny about Frankie. And Cure Me Extreme cases in the Motorola V3X or the mis-sell exterior-wall London restaurateurs and talk of Fred's wedding human science.A man with Nokia 51497 And Jon Grove upsets Audrey. an aneurysm is put into Bentley compares Sky's HD JIM WHITE THE coaling. 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Second Think that they can save 10.00 Without a Trace. new format and location; WINDUP BIRDS + Lift a crippling attack. semi-final, their marriage by having a American drama series and a new presenter in Ten Rock Movement 10.00 BBC News; Regional 8.30 University Challenge. baby. about the FBI Missing Lovejoy, who joins Tiff News: Weather. Student quiz hosted by 10.00 The Complete Guide To Persons Squad. The team Needell and Vicki Butler *top tickets 10.35 Graham Norton's leremy Paxnian. The Parenting. Peter Damian searches for a grieving Henderson. tel: 08709 913913 Bigger Picture. Cutting. University of Newcastle stars in the comedy drama. father when child 9.00 Extraordinary People: web: alive.co.uk/fickeis edge comedy as Graham takes on the University of George plans to spice up pornography is found in his The Musical Genius, Documentary. Derek cannot RUSSELL BRAND: 8 Oct. Norton and guests take a London's Royal Holloway his and Pheobe's sex life, home. 'al? Sheffield Unl Octagon personal look at current College in this first-round after het job takes her away 11.00 FILM: Maximum Risk see and has the IQ of a 4- affairs Graham is joined by match. for longer periods, but his (1996). Action thriller year-old, but when he sits THE LEMONHEADS: 9 Jackie Collins, Shane Warne 9.00 Nuremberg: The Nazis scene-setting goes awry.. about a retired French at a piano he becomes a Oct. r.& Leeds and Juliette Lewis, on Trial. Drama- 10.30 ITV News. soldier's search for his twin musical genius. Is his Metropolitan Uni 11.15 Film 2006 with documentary series goes 11.00 Haunted Homes. Psychic brother's killers. remarkable talent the result ROOSTER: 10 Oct. z. Jonathan Boss, behind the scenes of the Mia Dolan, paranormal 12.45 Comedy Lab. 1.15 3 Minute of brain damage at birth? Bradford Rio 11.45 FILM: Regeneration most famous war-crimes investigator Mark Webb Wonder. 1.20 The Dead Zone. 2.15 10.00 Banged Up Abroad, (1997). Adaptation of Pat trial in history. 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PARTY ON THE PLANET in the Attic. 1.00 BBC News; Ernie 9.10 Come Outside. 9.30 Me Midsonier Murders. 3.00 Meg and Will and Grace. 9.00 Frasier. 9.30 7.25 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Coctkpi Weather 1.30 Regional News and Tool 9.50 Gordon the Garden Mog 3.05 Pocoyo. 3.10 Curious Make Me a Grown Up, 10.00 Friends. 7.45 Make Way for Noddy. SLAM DUNK Weather 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Gnome. 10.00 Big Conk Utile George. 3.30 Mr Bean: The Sticks and Stones. 11.00 My Crazy 8.00 rtr, and the Flowertots 8.15 punk, ska & erno. metal Doctors. 235 Diaenusis Murder, Cook. 10.20 Plop. 10.30 Animated Series 3.45 SpongeBeb de, 11.30 The Deadly Knowledge Peppa Pig. 8.20 Funky Valley. 8.30 & hardcore 3.20 BBC News; Weather, Regional Schools: Primary, History 10.50 SquarePants, 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Show. 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Nanny's Feet. 8.45 Bird Rath 8.50 Coco News, 3.25 Badger and Badger. Primary Geography. 11.10 City The Sharon Osbolorre Show. nerd Watch, 1.15 King of Queens Sandy and Mr Flapper. 9.00 The LATINO SOUL 3.40 Mona the Vampire. 4.05 Pitt Stapes 11.30 The Labour Parry 6.00 Calendar. Regional news, 1.40 In Your Dreams 1.50 FILM: Wright Stuff. 10.30 Trisha reggae, nu jazz. Intim, and Kantrop. 4.30 Kerchingl 5.00 Cooterence. 1.00 Science Clips interviews and features Belle Starr (19411. Western, starring Goddard. 11.30 five news 12.00 & soul Blue Peter. 5.25 Newsreund. 5.35 1,10 Science Clips.1.20 Science including local weather. Gene Tierney and Randolph Scott. Home and Away, 12-30 Fcrvershorn Neighbours Clips investigates. 1.30 Working 6.30 ITV Evening News; 3.30 Cotendown, 4.15 Deal or No BrainTeaser. 1.35 FILM: The Little LOUDER THAN BOMBS 6.00 BBC News and Weather. WW1. 2.00 The Labour Party Weather. The latest Deal 5.00 The New Paul O'Grady Riders (1995).Wac starring Paul 6.30 Look North; Weather. Conference. 4.00 Flog It! 4.30 national and international Show. Scofield and Rosemary Horns 3.40 Firefly 7,00 Celebrity MasterChei Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 Weakest news, 6.00 The Simpsons. FILM: Blessed Stranger After flight cool 80s & 90s tdcresice 7.30 EastEnders. Owen has Link. 7.00 Emmerdale. Jo turns 6.30 Hollyoaks. 1 1 t (20001. Drama, starring Kate FfiFi Club abducted Libby Peggy 6.00 Eggheads. things with Andy to her 7.00 Channel 4 News. Nelhean and Hugh Thompson. 530 PIGS urges Jack to talk to Honey 6.30 Extreme Dreams with advantage Perdy and Gray 7,55 3 Minute Wonder. frin? news new wave. rock'n'roll. about adoption. Jake Ben Fogle. Ben Fogle christen Mill Cottage. Diane 8.00 A New Life: Risking It 6.00 Home and Away. obscure elecha realises Sean is using Ruby. leads a team of would-be and Val decide to put their All. Series following self- 6.30 Two and a Half Men. made millionaire Martin American sitcom. Mock 8.00 Hothy City. 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No-nonsense Aaronovitch explains where sounds live bonds month investigation, Jim travels to Jamaica to Benfica, who beat them 2-1 to frost helps couples with the left have gone wrong their difficult kids. Martin on , Palestine, the War Wire Wheble went undercover, research his family history. last season. With Steve EAT YOUR MAKE UP working for two of Britain's 8.00 Home. Series exploring Rider. and Natalie Williams have in and the War on music. decadence. largest bailiff companies. interior design. This 9.45 It Shouldn't Happen four children and both work Tenor. Trash, dancing He saw first hand how the programme looks at how to... a Showbiz full-time, but it's Natalie 8.00 The Diet Doctors - public are ripped off, people are creating new Reporter. Including the who deals with the Inside & Out. Diet gigs Doctors Wendy Denning Cockpit conned and lied to. types of room, from a Bee Gees walking off Clive Parenting , 10.00 BBC News; Regional personal gym to the Leeds Anderson's show. Dennis 10.00 Lost Second series of the and Vicki Edgson meet 2b- Catch ft Kebobs News; Weather, shed that is row a cowboy Pennls embarrassing Helena drama series. Upon stone Carol. A diabetic 1035 Skint. Documentary series ranch, Christensen and David discovering something odd suffering from asthma and Dr Wu's exploring the world of 9.00 Stephen Fry: The Secret Blaine's stony silence while just offshore, lack and high blood pressure, sire's a THE HONEY SUDES pawnbrokers and buy-ince Life of the Manic Eamon Holmes tries to Sayid come up with a plan heart attack waiting to Duck & Drake shops and the people who Depressive. Stephen Fry interview Ilan. to confront 'The Others'. happen. SHAUN T HUNTER use them. Nick has a explores manic depression, 10.30 ITV News. The latest 11.00 Lost 9.00 CSI: Miami. 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Kim doesn't care highlights of tonight's Crew 2. 4.30 Number Crew 2. 10.00 CSI:NY. Crime drama attempts to introduce her that her best friend Tina games including Beniica v 4.40 Number Crew 2. 4.50 series. *top tickets new beau as a father isn't coming to the baby Manchester United in Number Crew 2 5.00 Star Maths 11.00 Trust Me I'm a Holiday Tel: 08709 913913 web: ollve.co.uk/Btkets figure. stamng Ruben DO 14nn shower. Kath's head is , Arsenal v Porto at 1 5.10 Star Maths 1. 5.20 Maths Rep. Celebrities learn how and Film Sorkin screwed on backwards the Emirates Stadium, and Marmon 5.30 Maths Mansion. to be holiday reps in Crete. CHRISTINA AGUILERA: 1.00 Sign Zone: See Hear. 1.45 A when Kel's friend Sandy Celtic v FC Copenhagen. 5.40 Maths Mansion. 5.50 Maths 12.05 The fill Files. 1.05 NASCAR 17 Nov. qt. Sheffield Week of Dressing Dangerously. 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LOs ruck'n' roll & 7,25 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch garage. new wove, in the Attic 1.00 BBC News; Ernie. 9.10 Come Outside_ 9.30 Me Midsomer Murders. 3.00 Meg and Will and Grace. 9.00 Frasier. 9.30 Thi Robb Hender- Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Too! 9.50 Gordon the Garden Mog 3.05 Pocoyo. 3.10 Curious Make Me a Grown Up. 10.00 Friends. 7.45 Make Way for Noddy. son. Helena & Weather 1.40 Neighbours 2.05 Gnome. 10.00 Big Cook Little George_ 3.30 Mr Bean: The Adopt Me I'm a Teenager. 11.00 8.00 Fill and the Flowertots. 8.15 ha Don /Black Wire] Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. 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Wright Stuff, 10.30 Trisha go, elec tro and Kantrop, 4.30 Kerchingl 5.00 1.25 Coast Northern Ireland - 6.30 ITV Evening News; Musical, starring Ethel Merman Goddard_ 11.30 five news. 12.00 Blue Peter. 5.23 Newsround. 5.35 Whitehead 1.30 Weather. and Donald O'Connor. 3.30 Home and Away. 12.30 Hares BrainTeaser. 1.30 FILM: The Bravos THEHUSTLE Neighbours. 2.00 The Flying Gardener. 2.15 The 6.55 Party Conference Countdown. 4.15 Deal or No Deaf. 1 6,00 BBC News and Weather. Labour Party Conference. 3.40 Flog Broadcast: Labour 5.00 The New Paul O'Grady Show. (19M. Western, starring George HiFs Club 6.30 Look North; Weather. Itt 4.25 Ready Steady Cook. 5.10 Party. 5.00 The Simpsons. Pepped and Vincent Van Patten, MOVEONUP 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef. Weakest Link. 5.55 Party Political 7.00 Emmerclate. Jo clears 6.30 Hollyoaks. 3.35 FILM: Open Heart (20041. Northern Soul. Tamlo 7.30 Airport. Broadcast. Katie's debts. Steph returns 7.00 Channel 4 News. Drama, starring Megan Follows wn. funk & 60's 7.55 3 Minute Wonder. and Raoul /than* 5.30 Five dir4 Moto 8.00 Vet Safari. Documentary 6.00 Eggheads. to the village. Jasmine fails seriesabout English pet vet 6.30 Extreme Dreams with to fall for Scott's charms 8.00 How Clean Is Your news. uni Oceona Emma who became a big- Ben Fogle. With Ben Betty and Sandy vow to get House? Kim Woodburn 6.00 Home and Away, VODKA NATIONWIDE game vet in South Africa. Fogie. Pearl and Len back ainnvdesAtggiga reteMacKenzie 6.30 Two and a Half Men. student party anthems. American sitcom. by r'n'ti hip hop & disco Emma and Shaun have just 7.00 Comedy Doubles. together. filthy homes. one month to move 3,500 8.00 Rick Stein's French wwwitecomiemmerdale This week, the duo assist 7.00 five news. acr The Subculture animals -including rhino Odyssey. The final part of 7.30 Coronation Street professional dog walker 7.15 Griulies: Living with ROCK SOC 2 and buffalo. Rick Stein's epic barge Shelley's revelations cause lames Grieve. Alaskan Bears. Grizzlies SMOKING BARRELS 9.00 Who Do You Think You journey through south west the fur to fly. Violet's - 8.30 You Are What You Eat. are predators of the Arctic, rbc Are? Series in which France as he ends up in suspicions about Jamie's Straight-talking holistic and have attacked and University celebrities trace their Marseilles. sexuality grow. Danny nutritionist Gillian Mcl(eith killed humans. Wildlife GOLDIE LOOKIN CHAIN ancestry Actor WWI 8.30 Fred Dibnah's World of learns the truth about sorts out unhealthy eaters cameraman Andreas Keiling SOUND SYSTEM Tennant discovers that his Steam, Steel and Stone. Liam's split from Frankie. Kim MacDonald's love of and his son Eric spend Scottish grandfather was c Celebrating Dibnah's wwwitecorn/coronationstre junk food has caused her months with them at Walkabout weight to balloon to 17 perilously close range STUDENT NIGHT footballer contribution to our et. with DJ Andy Oliver 10.00 BBC News; Regional appreciation of Britain's 8.00 The Bill. Two-part special_ stone_ 8.00 The Teen Tamer, Radical News: Weather. industrial heritage. A look at DS Phil Hunter and DS Sam 9.00 Ian Wright's Unfit Kids. behaviour expert Latrine gigs 10.35 The National Lottery: Fred's admiration for the Nixon head oft to Romania Three-part series in which Mater confronts 13-year-old City varieties ordinary workers who built on a dangerous mission to football legend Ian Wright Chris's adolescent mood JOHN HEGLEY (poet! Midweek Draws. The midweek Lottery draws. Britain. find a missing woman and has just six months to get swings, which have driven Doctor Wu's. 10.40 Give Me Shelter. 9.00 Anatomy of a Crime. unravel a sex trafficking eight overweight teenagers his mum and dad to the THE EXPERTS Documentary series about Documentary series with racket, into shape. Ian takes the brink of separation, homeless young people. full access to the criminal 9.00 Wire In The Blood. New. teens to an army-style boot 9.00 Macintyre's Big Sting. Well Robson Green stars as Dr camp. Tonight, in a change to the SEAFOOD Teenager Sherie has led a justice system. This edition life of drugs. crime and looks at the brutal murder Tony Hill. After he solves a 10.00 Ballet Changed My Life: advertised programme, Metropolitan University homelessness One !amity rs of Nigerian chief Augustine prostitute's murder only to Ballet Hoot 200 Maclntyre's Big Sting goes IMOGEN HEAP' offering her the chance 10 in his Manchester flat find her slayer already disadvantaged teens take undercover to turn the start afresh 10.00 Two Pints of Lager and locked up, Alex must find a pan in the Birmingham tables - or rather the New Roscoe Royal Ballet's production of cameras - on the criminals NEIL INNES 11.20 FILM. Things t o Do in a Packet of Crisps. killer ready strike once Denver when You're Sitcom about five more. Romeo and Juliet. Poor who 'launder' stolen cars. Dead (1995), Stylish twentysomethings lonny 10,30 ITV News. The latest time-keeping, had attitudes 10.00 Swinging. Comedy sketch *top tickets thriller in which a reformed finds himself a new nationaland international and rule-breaking are show. Regular faces horn tel: 08709 913913 gangster comes out of girlfriend. Gaz challenges news, plus national causing problems. the first series are joined by web: olive.co.uk/fickets retirement to carry out one David to a drinking contest weather Including local 11.05 Emporia Armani Red: new characters from the CHAMILLIONAIRE:13 last job for his ex-boss - tot Donna Louise's life is news programmes. One Night Only. Star- worlds of work experience, Nov. Manchester with tragic results, staring changed by a book. 11.00 The Contender II. studded show featuring the adult entertainment Academy 1 Andy Garcia and Wiltlren 10.30 Newsnight. 12.00 ITV Play. The Mint. 3.10 performances by Beyonce industry, lads' mags and Forsythe_ 11.20 The Apprentice USA. British Touring Cars Championship. Knowles, 50 Cent, Andrea fantasies. DIRTY PRETTY THINGS: 1.15 Sign Zone: Ancient : 12.00 Joins BBC News 24. 2.00 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 Bocelli and Razorlight. 10.30Respectable. Sitcom set 29 Nov. Manchester Up. 12.40 Comedy in a brothel. Apollo Theatre The Rise and Fall of an Empire. BBC Learning Zone: Schools: ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early 12.10 Coming 2.15 Sign Zone: Are We Being Shakespeare: The Animated Tales Morning News. Lab. 1.15 MB Beach Volleyball. 11.00 Trust Me I'm a Holiday Served? 2.45 Sign Zone: Fred 4.00 Shakespeare' The Animated 2.10 Trans World Sport 3.05 Rep. Dibnah's World of Steam, Steel arid Tales Viking Boat Race, 5.05 Chrono• 12,05 PartyPokercom World Open Stone. 3.15 loins BBC News 24. Perambulator. 5.15 Countdown. 11. 1.35 Baseball Wednesday. 4.35 NHRA Drag Racing: Toyo Tyres Nationals, rxyri 1 493

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This documentary should Tittle effort. Sure, there's what happened to six provide a warning to arty no need to be Superman participants in such a trial Dispatches student looking to boost to be able to put up with providse scary proof you hursday their bank balance by a few days of drugs and could end up looking like 9:OOp.m taking part in one of lying in bed (a usual the Elephant Man. eptember many medical trials weekend in fact for some) Channel 4 promising big bucks for but this investigation into Laurie Whitwell 28 000 13 CHM ONE TWO itv it 4 five 6.00 Breakfast. 9.15 To Buy or 6.00 Close 7.00 CBBC: Batiink. 6.00 GMTV, 9.25 Me Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Cubeez. 6.10 The Hoobs 6.00 The Save-Ums1 6.10 Bear In Not to Buy 10.00 City Hospital. 7.05 Time Warp Trio. 7.30 Roar. Show 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 Freshly the Big Blue House. 6.40 The club 11.00 Homes under the Hammer 830 aleebies: Tweenies 8.50 Loose Women 130 ITV lunchtime Squeezed. 7.30 Friends 8.00 Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and GENERATOR 11.30 Bargain Hunt. 12.15 Cash Our Planet. 9.00 Underground News; Weather. 2.00 Crime Hour: Everybody Loves Raymond. 8.30 his Best Friend Corky. 6.50 Hi 5. dance, hip hop metal, in the Attic. 1.00 BBC News, Ernie. 9.10 Come Outside. 9.30 Me Midsomer Murders. 3.00 Meg and Will and Grace. 9.00 Frasier. 930 7.25 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch rock, rave clncctcs with Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Toot 9.50 Gordon the Garden May_ 3.05 Pixoyo. 3.10 Curious How Sport Shook Up the World. Friends. 7.45 Make Way for Noddy DJ Ali Valium Weather 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Gnome. 10.00 Big Cook Little George. 3.30 Mr Bean: The 10.00 Bobby Friction: Generation 8.00 Rli and the Flowertots 8.15 Doctors. 235 Diagnosis Murder. 10.20 Pingu. 10.30 Look Animated Series, 3.45 SpongeBob 717 11.00 How Sport Shook Up Peppa Pig. 8.20 Funky Valley 8.30 Creation Cook. SANUK 3.20 BBC News; Weather Regional and Read. 10.50 Music Makers SquarePants. 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 the World_ 11.30 The Deadly Franny's Feet 8.45 Bird Bath. 8.50 Thai fun moon event News. 3.25 Rodger and Badger 11.10 The Maths Channel Year 6. The Sharon Osbouree Show Knowledge Show 12.00 News at Sandy and Mr Flapper. 9.00 The 3.40 Mona the Vampire. 4.05 Pitt 11.20 The Maths Channel - Year 6. 6.00 Calendar. Noon, 1230 Third Watch. 1.25 In Wright Stuff. 10.30 Trisha Doctor Wu's and Kantrop. 4.30 Kerching I 5.00 11.30 The Labour Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Your Dreams. 1.35 FILM: A Matter Goddard. 11.30 five news. 12.00 ABSTRACT SOUL Home and Away. 12.30 ion So soul from past to Young Dracula 5.25 Newsround. Conference. 1.00 13 & B The Best Weather. of Life and Death (1946). Fantasy. future 5.35 Neighbours 1.30 Working Lunch. 2.00 FILM: 7.00 Emmerdale. Steph finds a starring David Nlven and Kim BrainTeaser. 1.40 FILM: The 6.00 BBC News and Weather. Firecreek (1968). Western, starring murder mystery night in Hunter 3.30 Countdown. 4.15 Cimarron KId (1952). Western, Flares 6.30 Look North; Weather. James Stewart and Henry Fonda progress at the B&B. Jo Deal or No Deal. 5.00 The New starring Audie Murphy and Beverly COPACABANA 7.00 Celebrity MasterChef. 3.45 Flog el 4.30 Ready Steady stays at Butler's Farm. Paul O'Grady Show Tyler. 3.20 five news update. 3.25 HiF1 Club Rodney hits a new low. 6.00 The Simpsons. FILM:This Savage Land (1969). John Torode and Greg Cook. 5.15 Weakest Link. HARLEM BUSH CLUB Wallace seek the country's 6.00 Eggheads. Scott and Debbie take 6.30 Hollyoaks. Western, staring George C Scott rove funk soul & top celebrity chef. 6.30 Extreme Dreams with advantage of Jasmine, 7.00 Channel 4 News. and Barry Sullivan. 5.30 five news. hip-hop bands with Contestants must cook for Ben Fogle. 7.30 The Dales Diary. Today, Including sport and 6.00 Home and Away. resident DJ the world's most famous 7.00 Seven Man-Made Luke Casey meets Will weather. 6.30 Two and a Half Men. Nu cooking dynasty, the Roux Wonders. Burdett a respected 7.55 3 Minute Wonder. Anierican sitcom. FULL MOON family, at Le Gavtoche. 7.30 Mythbusters. Jamie and breeder of raze poultry who Coverage of the 7.00 five news. 7.30 EastEnders. Denise fears Adam find out it explosive also spent 25 years choreography competition. 7.15 Football on five: The Subculture for tibby's safety after decompression could really showing poultry to the late In Spill, Sonia Sabri Newcastle United v GIGANTIC Levadia Tallinn. Colin electro, rock & alterna- Owen's evil threat. happen and make their own Queen Mother and travels performs her own ICathak tive music BM What Not to Wear. remote controlled car to to Teesdale to meet a glass solo that reflects her Murray hosts live coverage Series in which supermodel test a Hollywood myth. engraver. appreciation of Indian and of Newcastle United's UEFA University, Stylus & Pulse Lisa Butcher and soul 8.00 Dragons' Den: Where 8.00 The alit. Aware of the Bousts culture Cup rust round, second leg GZA, Sway, MK, Groo- singer Mica Paris set out to Are They Now? Evan ticking clock on Feua's fate, 8.00 Dne Year to Pay off tie against 's verider 8. Mampi Swift runaway league leaders prove that everyone can Davis finds out if any of the Phil and Sam continue to your Mortgage. Sarah Warehouse look stylish, whatever their budding entrepreneurs who seek vital answers in Beeny follows contributors levadia Tallinn. Kick-off is TEQUILLA shape. height or age pitched their business ideas Bucharest. as they attempt to pay off at 19.30. student night 9.00 : The Rise to five multi-millionaires in 9.00 Ladette To Lady. New their mortgages by 9.35 Ann Maurice: Interior and Fall of an Empire. the second series have been series following eight of Investing in rising European Rivalry, Ann Maunce finds Wire FUZZY LOGIC ood Dramatic reconstructions successful. Britain's most notorious markets. Two families want Britain's best home stager. with DJ Debstai and computer graphics tell 9.00 Extras. Sitcom about a ladettes at an old-fashioned to build luxury villas on the the final two contestants the story of ancient Rome. former TV extra who gets ladies' finishing school. The island of Crete face their most difficult gigs This programme focuses on his own show. Andy girls arrive at Eggleston 9.00 Dispatches: The Drug challenge yet. and Ann Brudenell Social Hall and are immediately Trial that Went Wrong. announces her winner. Last Club IMMUNE The Caesar, who succeeded in Millman learns that you Butterfly, Wild Beasts overthrowing a 500-year shouldn't get on the wrong thrown Into the strict Award-winning journalist in the present series. old Republic. Side of the British press. He regimen. Brian Deer investigates the 1035 Criminal Minds. Drama City Varieties 10.00 BBC News: Regional needs a reliable and 10.00 Murder Squad. The cops circumstances surrounding series following the FBI's JEFF GREEN (comedy) News; Weather. experienced PR guru investigate a horrific the infamous drug mal Behavioural Analysis Unit. 10.35 Question Time. Topical 9.30 That Mitchell and Webb Cockpit gangland killing in which a conducted at a pnvate unit The unit travels to San THE BLACK KEYS debate from Manchester, Look. Comedy sketch show Romanian man was chased in London's Northwick Park Diego to profile a rapist chaired by David Dimbleby starring David Mitchell and into the back of an Hospital in March 2006 and murderer who attacks vine Panel includes Jack Straw, Robert Webb. Includes a ambulance and bludgeoned 10.00 FILM: Dogma (1999). his victims in broad TENDERLOIN Ken Clarke, Baroness Tonge. new initiative to simplify to death in full view of the Comic fantasy Jesus's last daylight Piers Morganand Sandra asking for a chair in a pub traumatised driver surviving relative is sent on 11.35 Extraordinary People: *top tickets Howard. and a clip from the first TV 10.30 ITV News. a quest to prevent a pair of The Musical Genius. fel: 08709 913913 11.35 This Week. A political broadcast In history. 11.00 The Other ER. fallen angels from returning Documentary. Derek cannot web: alive,co.uk/lickets review of the week 10.00 Mock the Week. 11.30 Last Orders. to heaven - and thereby see and has the IQ of a 4 presented by Andrew Neil 10.30 Newsnight AVENGED SEVEN- 12.00 IN Play: The Mint 4,10 undoingAfiseo all God's work. year-old. but when he sits FOLD: 2 Nov. tt: Leeds and his resident helpers 11.20 The Apprentice USA. Britain's Best Back Gardens. 4.35 staffing Man Damon and Bor. at a piano he becomes a University Michael Portillo and Diane 12.05 Joins BBC News 24. 2.00 Driving Mum and Dad Mad 5,00 musical genius Is his Abbott. BBC Learning Zone: Schools: ITV Nightscreen_ 5.30 ITV Early 12.20 The Charlotte Church Show. remarkable talent the result DEATHSTARS: 6 Nov. 43 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama Shakespeare: The Animated Tales. Morning News. 1.10 FILM: Runty Aur Habil (2005).. of brain damage at birth' Bradford Rica 1.05 Sign Zone: Vet Safari. 1.35 4.00 Shakespeare Shorts. starring Abhishek Bachchan and 12.35 John Harries' Football Night Sign Zone: The People's Museum. Rani Mukherjee. 4.20 Darcus 1.25 French Football - Le 2.35 Joins BBC News 24. Howe: Son of Mine. 5.20 Championnal 2.15 Dutch Football. Countdown 3.45 Football Argentina 4.50 Copa Recap. bcrn 1993

Think you are a racist gnipuboiq of beviovnt 1.32 of insW lecturer? S19qsq2w9n inebui2 129ggid enfsih8 IMP

Leeds Student Newspaper a •I1 whiz ribk) ubsi laiosS1' Sw∎• Meetings are on fridays at 5, 1 LS office, first floor LUU Au.pioirisbuinbesigiolfbe :Ii6m3 •■■•■•■■ 12 Curious • -it- S. MI .• OBSERVATIONS iffier Thi Pete Beckett hat Steven Smith Tasha Remington s I've mellowed in what I t was a seemingly normal very year people pay its have started labelling my September day when the vast sums of money to AoId age, I sympathise with I biggest calamity since sleep in a tent. relieve gol anyone who spends what can only top-up fees and the ALIT strike themselves in a cesspit and be described as infuriating times hit the student population. Yes, slide around in mud. I could £1 visiting home in the name of that was the day when on sIM- never understand why. OVE 'family'. It's all the more checking my Facebook I was Before this weekend, I had disappointing when such a trip continues to explode in greeted with news that Daniel Smith* and Emma never been to a festival, nor spent a night in a tent. dire to a full blown argument about the most petty of things, Jones* were no longer in a relationship, and Josh What's the point when you can see whoever it is in by the end of which you seriously start contemplating the McCabe* was now looking for random play. concert and then return home to a cup of tea and a uni use of considerable violence. Suddenly the largest concern of the student warm bed.Yet there I was in the middle of a field, For anyone who, like me, lives in a painfully middle body was this evil big-brother style news feed hunched beneath a backpack, ready to submerge by class haven of double glazing, brown fencing and BMWs leading to countless petitions and group myself in the weekend's festivities. you'll understand what I mean by 'not in my backyard' invitations as the uproar began. But oh how we Disaster struck early on.With pissed-off looking acr liberalism. students know how to stand together in a crisis. clouds gathering above us, I called Simon to find out My parents believe that they're accepting, although The group "Students against Facebook News Feed where the others had put their tent: this is only ever the case if the perceived problem is (official petition to Facebook)" currently has a "Si, it's Pete, where are you guys?" mom than a mile away, Gleefully they proclaim to be massive 714.849 members; equivalent to almost 8 "The big blue tent on the left hand field" people of the world as they drive 200 yards to the village times the number of in ! "That doesn't narrow it down much - come and hall ready to vote Liberal Democrat so as not to appear But then we, the public, have always have had a meet me by the..." lower class. What annoys me so much about this farce is sense of duty, with a third of the population staying Fuck. their uruelenting acceptance of the Queen as a 'viable' in to watch the finals of X-Factor and Strictly Come After one last desperate groan, my phone battery leader of a democracy. Dancing last December. Whilst joining in the made its curtain call. Windsor castle, the largest occupied royal residence uproar I suddenly stopped to think a seemingly Three hours of strenuous searching finally bore 1 in the world, the place that Liz regards as her true home unobvious question: why do I care? After all, it fruit. The boys had, apparently, been looking for me and the staging ground for the most recent meeting of doesn't show any information that we have not for a while, luckily my tent took minutes to sort out, mine and my parents' stubborn minds. already decided to share in the public forum. despite the rainfall. Soon we were wandering around The castle itself belongs to the 'Crown', an abstract Surely the whole point of Facebook was to share muddy fields in amongst loud tents and stalls selling term used to describe property, both physical and information about our lives! Phis it can be a source ponchos, dummies. and Elmo finger-puppets for £2 a otherwise, that belongs to the current monarch. The of real entertainment, as we discovered when two crack. Monarch themselves is not allowed to alter possession of of my scheming friends decided to change their Of course, finding myself without an operational the Crown. In fact the only body able regulate the relationship status as a joke to see how long it mobile, the minute f lost anyone (as tends to happen abstract crown at will is the nation's government. My would take to receive countless concerned phone with thousands of people wandering around a point is, that while government and the monarch come calls. relatively small area), it took hours to find them again. ON..1.11111111 and go, the only other factor with continuity like the Surely I should be happy that it is now even This did work to my advantage, well, sort of. crown. are the British citizens them-selves:lb that end, easier to know what all my old friends are up to. As a lost sheep, I started making surrogate friends why do I have pay £11.60 to get in to what I now wholly But perhaps that is precisely the problem. - people who seemed quite nice and wanted to go believe is my castle? On top of this, how completely Facebook has been there [or us as the greatest see the same act as me, but who afterwards would absurd it is that she is allowed to claim her home to be a procrastination tool since MSN. It is the 8th most disappear from my life forever. Kind of like the 'single charitable endeavour.This particularly hit deeply when I visited site, and it helped me to realise that I serving friends' Edward Norton meets on planes at was asked if I'd like to pay gift aid.Yes, gift aid! On top of wasn't alone in my inability to cook rice, and most the beginning of Fight Club. the entrance fee, Liz wanted me to happily give up tax I importantly, it helped us fail our exams and leave The most common way of making surrogate already paid on hard earned cash, and pass it a long to essays to the last minute. Without having to friends was by complaining about the infamous the Royal gravy boat. My mother tried a quick defence actively search other peoples' profiles, how can we toilets - a shared source of amusement, and in this "Well the upkeep must cost a lot and all the work after justify spending hours looking for the latest info? case disgust. Not really toilets, they were holes the fire". Upkeep, restoration. are you having a laugh? Furthermore, we have to be extra careful to not put dropping down into a large vat of urine and She's the richest woman in the world. up embarrassing posts when drunk for fear of excrement which one looked directly upon if one Of course this discussion could only escalate from everyone been alerted to it instantly. It also forces stood to relieve oneself. As a result I decided to fast. them, with my mum digging herself in an almighty hole. us to face the uncomfortable truth that many of our in order to avoid having to drop one into this " Well she might be rich but that's all in artwork and "friends" are people we barely know whose despicable pool. belongings." So you're telling me. the Queen is strapped friendship invitations we accepted only out of Worse, when this vat looked in danger of for cash? If that's true, which (and I hate to be so blunt) is politeness and the wish to look popular, yet now overflowing, they sent in a guy with a disused oil painfully incorrect, why doesn't she sell her so called we are forced to hear all about their love lives and tanker to insert a pipe into its opening and suck out castle like she did the god damn yacht. discover their passionate belief that pink crocks the offending sludge. I just hoped they disposed of it Any royal discussion always ends up with the should be banned from our feet. And worst of all, hygienically and paid the poor man his weight in immortal words: "Well, we like the queen, you must we have no option but to know when our ex- gold, remember she's there for the power she doesn't have." boyfriends have found a new love interest. In spite of all this, my single serving friends and I Should I even start to pick that apart? "She brings so Yet, at the risk of being condemned, I do feel did manage to have a great time. The quality of the A much tourism to this country," yes, money that is that we should try to see the bigger picture and music was part of this, but it wouldn't have been the support seemingly channelled back to her! "If someone else had put things into perspective. We must stop feeling same without the camaraderie. The 'we're in this versify her power they might be corrupt and there's nothing we sorry for ourselves and realise a real tragedy together' kind of mentality which you only get at a and bu could do about it" So what if the Queen's corrupt? "Oh could have occurred: they could have shown festival. Even the Samaritans had a stall, for people Leeds that would never happen? WHAT? My supposedly liberal whose profiles we looked at everyday! who just wanted to talk. I went in once to see what it tinanei, parents accepting the morals and leadership of the right was all about -a load of people feasting on their own there at wing aristocracy over a presumably democrancally * Names have been changed to protect at least faces while declaring their undying love for the tuition elected leader. AAHHHH Give me strength! identities person sat next to them. fundrai Saville scholar dents. Steven is a hlm studies finalist 'Pasha is a History finalist Peter Beckett is a thud year in POLLS [email protected]

POO/observations/152/220906

■• i•110•Nim ONIMAL•• M. Rain In- At issiale moue 13

• k Dear Diary, been delightfully drunken, hide and seek encountered three builders, four The best thing about a new semester is affairs. Searching for the fresher faces I electricians, and, worryingly, a demolition when it is not here yet, but is coming. The remember (Note to self: am not a fresher man since moved in here. All v. friendly, but anticipation after a while of nothingness, anymore, am in middle year. technically am less jean advert, more I-never-want-to-see- without the burden of having to learn for a a whole year older) in a random house full their-bum-cracks manual men. It's Ed who few days more (am quite scared of reading of smiling strangers. Networking is hard made them come. He's positively fiery when and writing again, have forgotten how to do work. But it is easy to talk when intoxicated. handling the Landlord.V. good with words. both, and am now stupid). Am in It is also easy to fall into bins when Knows just when to mouth LINIF'OL (which disbelieving transition. Saying hello to the intoxicated, as discovered when slipped on should be issued with a health warning. as it golden owl building and the Parkinson drink-drowned floor at some house head induces a change in colour, shakes and clock after such absence is comforting. first and grazed the edge of a bin, which sweating in greedy, exploiting, lazy lords of Meeting friends again for the first time, am tilted over my head, morphing into a student housing). Maybe are being a bit smitten with them once more. The intimate makeshift helmet as gravity laughingly harsh. Ours is not really that bad. At least dinners. The cries of recognition. The flung guided me to the floor. At least am falling things are being fixed. O000, Naomi's open arms. The earnest hugs. The mush, forwards. rather than backwards these days. hanging up pretty banners. How lovely. muah, I missed you, love! Feel like a quite Ed thinks the rubbish incident is the reason Brady-bunch domestic contentedness is wanted failure.Yes, failure, for have not am against us hosting our own hp. It is not. It ours. backpacked in Thailand (blame that on the is just not responsible to invite friends, and Backstabbing bastards. Banners, balloons, fact that I told everyone I would, which of their friends, and their friends' friends into am not stupid! We're having a party! Naomi course meant that I didn't). Have not a breaking house, and I am a responsible and Jim defected to the other side, with become browner. Have not become whiter. person. Naomi and Jim agreed with me on naught (am speaking Leeds) but And am certainly no cleverer. Do not know the former point at our house meeting, embarrassed grins for apologies. I thought where my time, my summer went. Think I which is constitutionally democratic (Naomi our living together depended on popular frittered it away earning money. Which will briefly flirted with Marxism. but then she democracy! Why am I no longer popular? not be wasted on clothes. hair, or alcohol flirts with everything, and she has since Damn my easy disposition. If I were more this year. As long as I can still go to parties. I been persuaded of its evil by self). like Mussolini, could be a dictator. Rule this like parties. Our house is breaking. Wounds in walls. student place with an iron hand. Oh well. The house parties attended thus far have Damp. Temperamental lights. Have Party it is. 'Pimp my pad' Do you live with someone whose room is too Asda Living store at Crown Point, Leeds. LS2's gross to enter? Is his or her pit dark and squalid Poppy and Olivia will them take him or her on a enough to be closed down by Environmental shopping spree and makeover their pad. mood Health? Can you even see their floor through the Just email [email protected] with a brief clothes and filth. description of why your housemate should get the Maybe it's time to shop them in to LS2 and have makeover with pictures and the most deserving the chance to win £250 of homewares from the new entry will win.

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L SWIM viwidleedssiudentortuk Fain, September 22.2006 ■Extra Focts a 0 11ey goI g? Thirty-Second Interviews LSI asked three students at different stages of their degrees where they thought the extra money should go.

Nicola Kober, first year, English lit- erature. "We need improved facilities and more books"

Charlotte Walker, second year. French and International Relations , 'Seminars arc too large. we need _ more teaching staff and better facili- ties"

Floyd Milligan, third year, Philosophy "The library needs more books and the union needs to sell course books at a cheaper price. Sports club mem- bership is too expensive; it should be subsidised." Renovation work is well underway at Weetwood

derstand exactly how crucial this velopment is and the ability to fill a simple form online offers salva- n from the need to stand. hungover. never-ending lines. Mir projects include plans for a new Atm and a student services building, staff will receive the better Beds that they fought for during last is Alit strikes. university spokesman assured us 'students are having a say in these ges and our priorities for invest- at have been drawn in consultation Maintenance work on campus students.' Have you had your say? Leeds Siudentthavieettsstudeamulialls sionwer 22, 2006 Extra Foreign Correspondent Living ran Special Correspondent Farnaz Bazegh; spent six weeks experiencing life in Iran as part of her research project, and provides a rare first-hand account of what life is really like in day-to-day Iran.

yen though I have been so comfortable with the hejah that I enjoying kebabs, tea and fresh fruit, brought up as an Iranian, I started to push the boundaries of the smoking shiaha late into the evening. was burn in England and dress code. I guess f wanted to see Places similar to this, and ice cream have spent my whole life what would happen. I soon realised parlours. are as popular in Iran as the here. 1 visited Iran for the that public places, especially airports bars and clubs that make up the staple Efirst time at the age of 22. not only to and train stations, are not places to try British nights don't exist, However, I conduct research for nay Intercalated this, I was given a stern talking to by wouldn't bother eating our unless you BSc in International Health but also the Neeroo Enrezami in both these feel like one of the different types of to satisfy my curiosity. My research locations. The Neeroo Enteaami are kebabs. as the best food is served in prior to visiting Iran showed that not the equivalent of security in Iran, they Iranian homes. The menus in restau- much was known about the country. can be seen an a daily basis all over rants are limited, but what is served is and after spending 6 weeks- there I the country, and part of their role is to often simple. but tasty. and the smell realised you cannot really know Iran enforce the Islamic dress code. Even is always enticing, or Iranians without visiting the coun- so. the general view in Iran is that Once I set to work on my research try yourself, Since few people are people are not hassled by the Neeroo project. 1 soon realised that there is a likely to travel to Iran as a tourist at Entezami .withour reason. and it much slower pace of life in Iran than present. I'd like to give you an insight always helps if you have well covered in England: people are really fond of into Iran that you wun't find in a older relatives to assist von in talking their afternoon naps and early finish- guidebook. your way out of not being allowed to es front work. ao you have to be I arrived in the capital of Iran. travel extremely enthusiastic if you want to Tehran, in the morning. and having In the first week of ray visit, I was get anything done. Secondly, forming been on an overnight flight looking thrown a welcome party where I was friendships is vital. especially if tired, wearing incise clothing and hav- the uncomfortable centre of attention you're hoping to keep to a schedule, ing trouble getting my new headscarf for many hours. Guests were under- If you take all interest in people and to stay on my head. To my delight standably interested in everything - - - - (and to my horror) there were over about me. and it was hard to judge fifteen friends and relatives at the air- how much of real life in England you port waiting to greet me, most of can share, and with whom. Due to the whom I had never met. I was delight- restrictive dress code in Iran and the ed. as several had brought flowers. ban on alcohol most gatherings, like many cried tears of joy and all were this one, are held at home. Parties are welcoming but horrified. as everyone not allowed and security can come to was so beautifully presented. wearing your door if anyone reports what full makeup and I was looking might he a party, especially if the bedraggled and struggling with a group is a mixture of young boys and backpack. It wasn't quite how I had girls_ Like everything, however, there wanted to make my tiro impression. are ways around this. My party went From that moment On. I took mite on until the early hours of the morn- of what the women in Iran wore and I ing and involved a live band in a first spend the time to have tea with them. quickly learned to wear the Islamic floor apartment. This was possible as then most people are more than help- dress code of the hejab, involving a the neighbours were familiar mem- ful- I made the error of being far too headscarf and a long overcoat, as bers of my grandmother's Koran direct when speaking un several occa- well. Women in Tehran are strikingly reading group, and this was said to be sions, both daring research and in fashionable. often wearing dark, tight a 'very special occasion'. 1 often saw social situations, and I was faced with fitting overcoats that caress their people drinking in the privacy of their some shocked expressions. I became curves; short, thin headacaris which own homes, as alcohol can be aware of the fact that people in Iran leave their ponytails showing from obtained illegally with ease and many rarely give a straight answer, and behind: considerable makeup and people secretly brew their own. despite people being overly inquisi- jewellery, all the while carrying a After recovering from the long tive at times, you should try and matching bag. I3y subverting the journey and the intense first week of sugar-coat any serious topics of con- enforced dress code in this way, ii can endless guests, who all generously versation or risk causing offence and he made more attractive than any- brought delicately handcrafted being thought of as rude. thing worn in Leeds Student Union. sweets. I managed to explore 'Tehran. Through hours of interviewing for There are, however, women who The capital city is chaotic. filled with my research and chatting socially, 1 dress much more conservatively. This apartments and horrendous traffic discovered [hut the Iranian people is especially true in remote. regions that contributes to the substantial pol- consider their country to have an Well us Barn, which was devastated lution problem. but all this goes on in unstable economy where something is by an earthquake in 2003. where most front of a stunning mountainous back- valuable one day and worthless the women wear a tong, black Chador drop. People use the beautiful coun- next. Unsurprisingly in this environ- covering all but their face. Before tryside to take picnics in the summer ment, the most outspoken people who travelling to Barn to collect data for and to ski in the winter. There are a are constantly alert to new business my research project. I had purposely number of striking parks in Tehran ideas are the most successful, and it dressed in simple clothes, anticipat- that also make great locations for pic- often helps if you are the type of per- ing rural areas of Iran to greatly differ nics. especially since eating is one of son who can bend the truth a little so from Tehran. but I had nut realised the Iranian people's favourite past you can make the most of anything how vast the differences in clothing limes. One of my favourite evenings that comes your way. There are few and lifestyles would be. in Tehran was spent in 'Farazard': sat vocational or graduate training BAZAAR: An indoor market in Esfahan. Tradesmen sell their hand-made Later during my visit I had become outside on dated Persian carpets, schemes in Iran and most people do wares while passers by make their way through. Peoio Farnaz Bazegni Seotember 2Z 2006suilikedssiudealorg.ukleads SION Foreign Correspondent

favoured by the youth of Iran espe- cially since petrol is exceptionally cheap. Even though there is a limited "Playing dance choice of cars, playing dance music loudly and wearing a stylish pair of music loudly and sunglasses while driving is a must: anything less and you're just not cool. wearing a stylish This is often the way young people meet each other. the girls in one car nair of and the boys in the other, after check- ing each other out they stop at an ice sunglasses v,/hile cream parlour or a mall to chat. Public shows of affection are practi- driving is a must: cally never seen, and are said not to anything less and be tolerated, and this was nut some- thing I was willing to test the bound- you're just not aries of. Anyone deckling to visit !ran should know that visitors are expect- ed to abide by the country's rules by observing the hejab (for example) and fion as it's a -must see' when visiting removing shoes at mosques where Iran. due to its elaborate mosques, appropriate. However, an unspoken dated bridges and intricate handi- SKYLINE: Tehran's roof tops from Farnaz's apartment. Political propaganda left over from the war with Iraq rule exists that visitors are not really crafts. still daubs the outside of some buildings. Pkoro: Farnaz Bazeghi reprimanded by the country's securi- Overall. Iran is a country of great not like the thought of working for more active than those in Iran, In fact. fact, everyone knew, they just didn't ty. I even saw a European woman history and overwhelming sceneeY, others. In addition, only a small num- young people in Iran are the same as acknowledge it. There are several who had taken her head scarf off in where people arc warm hearted and ber of government universities exist in England, just wearing different areas known to young people in the blazing heat and was having a rest family orientated_ Iranian people are in Iran, and 1 was told the University clothes in public places and always Tehran where they can gather without in a short sleeved t-shirt. This woman in an environment where they are of Tehran is the only University to conscious that it is culturally unac- much interference from the authori- was not interrupted by anyone. forced to be suspicious of those who provide qualifications that are accept- ceptable to be open about what ties, including a few large shopping although I am not. advising anyone to help them and must pursue every ed worldwide. More recently, many they're doing. For example nearly centres where the emphasis is less on test this during a trip to Iran. Even opportunity that presents itself as private universities have been estab- everyone had a girlfriend or shopping than on checking out though you will find descriptive pas- there are so few. In my opinion it lished in the more rural areas of Iran. boyfriend, and thought only their passers by Driving around. and often sages of the ancient city of Esfahan in would be worth exploring 'ran if you However, unlike England no loan or close friends knew about it; in actual racing each other, is a past time guidebooks, it still deserves a men- ever get the chance. bursary systems exist and the journey to many rural universities can be extremely long and even precarious at times. Despite more people attending university recently. unemployment is still high, estimated at around 25 per cent. There isn't really a 'uni life' in Iran, the societies we have and the socialising we do, is unheard of. Many qualifications gained have little practical use but clearly affect social status. Since most people who think of Iran today will unfortunately relate the country to nuclear power. terror- ism and tension with America, while in Iran I took the opportunity to ask young people their views on these matters. Thoughts of young people varied from people wishing America would take over Iran, as they believed it would then be developed to resem- ble Dubai, to those realising that every country has its advantages and drawbacks. Much of the youth in Iran who were previously desperate to migrate to America or (less Sol the UK, are now realising that they may just he exchanging one set of difficul- ties fur another. This summer there was no sign of any disturbance to daily life in Iran, and despite inter- viewing around 25 people ranging from government personnel to volun- tary NGO staff. I wasn't hassled or interrogated, Perhaps this was down to the way I conducted myself and my research, or maybe Iran is less DM- bled than we are lead to believe. While 1 was in Iran people took the Opportunity to ask me about life in England. Obtaining Visas in Iran is difficult and hardly any Iranian citi- zens have had the privilege of travel- ling the world unlike many young people in England today. Our view of Iran is often shaped by the media, and Iranian views of England are formed similarly. Subsequently, I had to assure a number of people that `nor- mal life' in England is actually noth- ing like the 0.C, and we don't just party all the time. I found it difficult to convey the challenges we face here FRESH: Farazard, Tehran, where locals graze on sour fruit and smoke shisha pipes. A gossiper's haven. at times, especially as a women, since PHOTO: Famaz Bazeghi the majority of women in England are Leeds Student LA MI Sentember n2006 Want to write for Leeds Student? Fridays, 5pm. LS Office First floor, LUU.

010 on: ■.1■1 Lai N.. am - • rs.rs LITw rrrr Leeds Student Hockey shame `Racist' lecturer -

---- • - = -

ism Student twewleedsstudem.ortek Ridap, September 22,2006 Education bI ues

*Labour's lies have lead to a funding fiasco for Universities and students accross the country.

ing to rely upon these extortionate international gloat about how great the economy is under directly hack into the state through debts. The fees; most controversially a significant number new Labour but tellingly ignore any scrutiny of financial strain on the younger generation will of places are specificaly reserved in the School the economy's future prospects. According to no doubt undermine their financial prospect in of Dentistry for Gulf applicants, further limit- the World Bank 1 in 6 graduates arc fleeing the their professional prime henceforth directly ing fair opportunities for students from less UK. the largest brain drain of western civilisa- affecting the state of the nation's economy. privileged backgrounds. When contacting the tion, with less foreign graduates entering, leav- Blair's echos of Education Education Dentistry admissions office for a specific num- ing a gaping intellectual vacuum. Education and the claim that he had, no plans ber I was suspiciously informed by the operator A quick calculation reseals that a student to introduce University top up fees and have taking a four year language course paying the (further] legislated to prevent their introduc- £3,000 tuition fee combined with a further tion" successfully seduced a nation into L-I.000 means tested loan for living expenses, Labours bed. 9 years down the line the honey• Tate a 1, fo•ritf-A1 .ttt would accumulate debts of around E28,000 - moon period is definitely over. Such is the unify preinibe of ti-- phenomenal figure_ Furthermore that slim does in the absolute rejection of the top-up fees amongst students; LAOIS (New Old Labour and health Students) are supporting the anti Top-up Fee rely upon the blue trips- demonstration in London at the end of May. So reflectsthe extent of it seems, unless Labour acts drastically, this is Labours dramatic deteriora- one marriage definitely staring down the barrel Hind Hassan of divorce. tion, laC. CU' s }f ar (m ►d t you are reading this and are one of the approximately 9,000 wide-eyed freshers Ieither: that he. "was not sure if this information is I. You are from Leeds and felt no need to available to give out". This unhealthy trend that spread your wings away from the family nest in almost certainly runs throughout many of the a quest to spend the next three years of your life hundreds of University courses, is seen by uni- not-take into account the tempting overdrafts in a constant state of inebriation. versities as the only option for raising vital and credit cards offered out like free candy. 2. Your quest for endless inebriation over- resources. It has been estimated that by 2012. gradu- Email: whelmingly outweighs any niggling monetary Such is the farce of top-up fees that at ates, potentially on mediocre wages. will he problems and the possibility of future long-term Manchester University students, applying paying approximately 50% of their income [email protected] debt repayment. through clearing for certain subjects struggling 3.Mummy and Daddy left a silver engraved to fill places. where charged up to half the fees Hallmark spoon in your mouth. demanded from those who where accepted Leeds University is in the midst of welcom- through the normal UCAS procedure. ing its first influx of the top-up fee generation. Universities have the option of charging With the new academic year barely upon us sta- anywhere from £0 to £3,000. The financial tistics are already displaying an astonishing drought has resulted in the majority charging backlash. Applications are down in general; a the maximum amount for most courses. More 4% decrease. compared to the previous years worryingly it seems it is only a matter of time 8% increase, with language degrees baring the before the £3000 cap is lifted, though the origi- blunt of the casualties. The dire lack of funding nal policy was only just scraped through. 10 provided by the government has climaxed con- Embarrassingly it was only due to the unwaver- siderably over the past few years escalating in ing support of the Conservative party that Blair the now infamous AUT strike and the closure of got his way. That a party formed on the premise core scientific departments up and down the of free education and health care for all had to country. rely upon the blue tribe reflects the extent of The Chemistry Department at this Labours dramatic deterioration. The Tories are University is holding on by the skin of its teeth. capitalising on Labours shortcomings. yet their Over the past five years student places, staff alternative is more sinister. Shadow Minister and departmental space have all been curtailed for Education and all round jackass Boris by over a third. Substantial attempts to cut back Johnson is currently the most vocal in pushing on subventions have been provoked by the dra- for the cap on top-up fees to be lifted. EDUCATION.:. • It is the English students that have been exposed as the biggest losers in the govern- ments apparent attempts to improve access to higher education, with EU students paying fees The Chemistry Department charged in their country (substantially lower) and Welsh students fees still partially paid for EDUCATION... at this University is holding by the National Assembly for Wales. Should an on by the skin of its English student decide to study in Scotland they teeth...staff and departmen• would be charged no more than £1,700. a tat space have all been cur• tempting option for many no doubt; figures are already highlighting an increase in cross border tailed by a third. applicants. The continuation of the inevitably increasing tuition fees will no doubt contribute to the matte drop in chemistry undergraduates and the future ghettoising and segregations of the com- large costs required to run the laboratories and munities, reminiscent of a Thatcherite lime best teaching facilities. Last year saw a dominant left in the past. Only those of a more privileged presence of POLLS students in Chemistry lec- background will have the opportunity to attend ture theatres. This was coupled with the threat the highest quality courses at the best to shut down the Chaston Library; used as a Universities, henceforth securing the better social room by both staff and students, it was jobs. The onus has wrongly been placed on the seen as a covert attempt to once again 'free up' individual student to fill the financial void. If more room at their expense. the war mongering government directed a frac- Laboratories are 'borrowed' by large num- tion of the money thrown at the disastrous war bers of international foundation year Students. on Iraq into university purse strings. the state of the majority of which are guaranteed places on education would surely not be so bleak. completion. Universities are increasingly hav- The Brown camp posse are always quick to Illustraition Hind Hassan IFfakTi Seumier22,21186

0113 3801 450 Could you hack it? [email protected] The careers of Nick Witchell (BBC Royal Correspondent), Paul Dacre (Editor•in-Cheif, Daily Mail Group), Jay Rayner (Food Critic, Observer) & Kamal Ahmed (Executive Editor - News, Observer) have all started at Leeds Ls Student. Fancy following in their foot steps? .-`Cancer' slur We've got open- Irresponsible ings for writers in 'The Deranged all sections - PAerriase'preview LW has uttered a comment of common sense regard- 1-52 Arts st_ ing Hanif Leylabi's outspoken views. r), News, Features, At the Ileessers pleasure - Venunu Int L 1.51 IA With careful thought, it is possible to see what Hanif was Comment, Sports, trying to say, but his choke of such inflammatory terms can TV, Music, Clubs, he best described as ill-advised, especially for somebody who holds the positions of President of Unite Against Books, Arts and e. Fascism and of Student Respect. If you have an idea The Arab-Israeli conflict is far from simple and should Arms academy not be reduced to mere blandishments. But equally. the use you want to see in Pension hind trivosiing in arms calvary of inflamatory language is nothing short of irresponsible. SAE listed as Uni benefactor print, email - - It is timely for this come to light now, as George Galloway, commander-in-chief of Respect. visited Leeds Uni on yesterday to give a public address. editor@leedsstu- We didn't manage to speak to George, but we've heard dent.org.uk --.7"=".7- --„=.;•••- whispers that he knows of our story. However, it is far from our interests to instigate anything approaching a cat fight_ Or come to a meeting in the LS Fair pay for office, Fridays at equal work 5pm ore than one hundred academic-related staff and a smaller number of support staff are facing pay cuts after a cross-campus audit to check that pay was awarded Send letters In Leeds Student newspaper. Leeds Llniversit:i Union, PO Box 157, Leeds t.51 11.11-1.11( etnall the editor an editorMeedsstu- m dent org nk. Please keep comments to 200 words The editor reserves the right to edit letters for content and space. equally. While LS agrees in principle with the notion of a fair day's work getting a fair day's pay, and that this principle should apply across the hoard. once the hoo-ha of the latest pay dispute is over, surely it'll be time to stand back and ask how this situation was ever arrived at. Because the pay reductions will be phased in over time and some managers are being encouraged to give staff more respon- sibility rather that lower their pay grade, questions shouldn't nec- essarily be centered around the concept of pay cuts. Rather. the organisational failure that went into creating the mess should he iNolated and dealt with. And the give the man or woman who finds it a pay rise. Milk student pockets he amount of money being spent on student marketing is quite something. Skaters serving smoothies, flat T screen TVs churning out advertisements and the annu- al deluge of flyers for grotty little backstreet clubs - it is clear that the 21st century student has been identified as -a goldmine set for plundering - and it would seem that there is no shortage of would-be diggers.

1peierrt vAwdeedssiudentomuk Fri* Seotember 22,2006 Comments expressed here are not necessarily the views of Leeds Student US Iran Policy 'Justified'

insidious and remote external enemy. e backward aorldv Ica. the US limit) Contact: While the West slept ibis annv of seems malignant or evil: in stark con- hiored gathered its strength. trast tit the Middle East, it is a bastion September I I was Islamism 'e greatest of civilisation engaged rn a war of hisOrgc@leeds_ac.uk propaganda victory, a call to arms des- necessity. Given that the alternative is tined to be re-run, ad infinitum, on tel- to surrender to fanatics, the West needs evision screen across the globe. To shed its uncertainties and rediscover Suddenly able to propagate their ideas its as:If-belief. The anti-American eon to a wider audience than ever before, it which pervades society is ill-eon- is these altack.s that have acted as the ceived. encouraging - a dangerous I'M-Lilting sergeants for terrorion, not moral relativism while abdicating the Iraq war. leaving translated of geopolitics; aware that at will be responsibility for difficult decisions decades of preaching into the most engaged in conflicts with some, if net that impact upon all of us. With many audacious terrorist attack in history, it all, of Iran. Saudi Arabia, Syria and Western countries preferring to sit on 4eqti' fix Ir was inevitable that there would be a Pakistan in the future, the US moved the sidelines. perhaps we should all he commensurate swell in the Jihadist first hi secure its supptiec of nil, the a little more grateful that the govern- Robert Crowcroft ranks, regardless of how the West lifeblood al Western society. 'While ments of the US and Britain. at least. responded. insurgencies in Iraq and Afghanistan have not shirked history's latest task he polierea pursued by the US in These lamaties cannot be appeased. are still rampant. CS and British forces the Middle East are, contrary to even if the US wanted to. Further. arc well capable of defeating them. In T prevailing opinion. neither while it is patently obvious that the Iraq, America has begun to adopt the *unified nor self-defeating. While hulk of the Muslim world arc hardly tactic of dividing cities into zones and this may he unpalatable to some, the keen to live in the type of society systematically clearing them; while a simple truth is that elements within the Islamises desire. the rhetoric used by luck of troops means this will be a Middle East declared war on Western the terrorists has tapped into a stream stow process. it has yielded impressive civilisation decades ago; this is a war of popular opinion across the Middle results where it has been tried- we have no etioier but to light. East. In the hiee of such hostility, the Iu Afghanistan, the British have Iran established itself us the home only viable course is to fight i recently inflicted huge losses on the. of a dangerous- fundamentalism wlitle head on and destroy it. This will take Tableau using decades of hard-won Saudi Arabia. in an attempt to preserve knowledge gleaned from .Ireland has its status as the home of .Islam, tried to mg turned out militaas into the hest holster its position by exporting counter-lie:urgency face in the world. Wahhibist doctrine through the setting Jihadists are no match for professional up of hundreds of religious schools armies. having only defeated the across the Muslim world. all preaching Soviets because the latter were of denunciations of the Nkiest These ideas abysmal quality, there is every reason spread like wildfire across an under- to be optimistre about these conflicts if developed region which has failed on we are prepared to invest the requisite almost all counts in recent decades. gumption. Iran is another threat which This allowed for a vvorldvicw to take must he confronted, and it is difficult hold of the evils of America and the decades, but mum. he done - it is pri- to see how diplomacy will disci:lir-age decadence of the West that blamed the marily a question of willpower rather its government from pursuing nuclear troubles in the oration not on its own than militsary capability. weapons. political culture or society. but on an The war in Iraq was an adept piece Faced with enemies subscribing to Peace Prero ative

how me what Mohammed world_ Though it is easy. as a non ic's call for the murdering of all those too. have very violent lest❑ries - he:to- based on violence and some Muslims brought that was new, and there Muslim. to dismiss, Mohammed del opposeal to Islam resulted in die sleugh- nes a hose violence often sterna from see it is as the duty to tight against their S You will find things only ev ii and nothing more than the command of tenni; of an Italian nun c❑nducting nus- the actions at Chnstiama nom the oppreaeors, but both sides ignore the inhuman, such us his command to God. as did Jesus, Moses, etc. before sionary work in the country, Coisadea in the Wat tin Terror. Muslims met significant sera concerning for• spread by the sword the faith he him. Indeed, there were many benefits Though Islam is far from being have found their lands pluedereil by the CIVCIICSS. preached." These arc the now infamous (I will name but a few) which also arose merely evil and inhumane, is Islam a West. their tights and religion words spoken by Pope Benedict XVI after the spread of Islam. Tribal enmity religion that justifies violence'! To els r oppressed. According to the Qur'an, Contact: last week. dissipated under at unified Islamic but one example the famous 'Sweet jihad. in this circumstance, is unctina Quoting a fourteenth-century Sure' (as partly quoted by the emperor). bent on all Muslims. In the same way, Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Justifies the slaughter of 80 million to consfitutionalha it is a country's obliga- alexiskeeley@gmail_corn Paleologus, the Pope's speech sought to figure that vanes wildly) of idolaters in tion to defend itself against attacks promote the idea of dialogue between their wars with India 038-1837 a It also OM I, for example), the nation of Islam religions. These words were taken from r says in the Qur'an that defence against should light the persecution of their a Plato-like discussion between two oppression and wrong doing is to he brothers against injustice. And who can educated people. Despite, as the Pope met with a violent reaction: [22.391 blame them put it, 'a brusqueness which leaves us 'Permission to light] is given to those It is ironic, that the Muslim at the astounded' from the emperor, the dia- upon whom war is made because they heart of this controversy. who first logue between the two men of opposing are oppressed and surely Allah is well heard these words didn't kill his views continued with the pope eanlain- able to assist them'. Christian adversary. they carried nit Tit) However, as in Christianity. the talking: he listened to what be had to lag the Greek idea that violeuce has Part to play in religion_ It was also it empina a nation of drunkards became reward for forgiveness is far higher say. Quoting the Pope out of context in challenge to the Persian scholar to con- world leaders in mathematics and med- than that at renal Tatum 140: 40-431. a very well researvtted and thought-out ❑ vince us of the virtues of his religion - it ical science and women were empow- Oppression comes in MUM' 111-MS. speech has put his upcoming trip to challenge that the Muslims of a ered. The Arab world, especially, has been Turkey in jeopardy, due to death Iewish/Christianoun world face today, Yet, the reaction of many Muslims known for violence in its countries' threats. As has been said many times. it Firstly, I think it is important to dis- to this speech has been one of violence: young hives - most famously Iraq and is not religion that brings violence, but pel the words of the emperor: as well as rioting and anti-Papal bunt- Palestine. but also Syria. Lebaneri, its Followers. Many people opposed to Mohammed was a messenger for Islam: ings Churches in Palestine have been Egypt, Libya. Algeria and Yemen. Islam pick the Sword Sure to justify Alexis Keeley he brought the words of Gnd to the destroyed and a leading Somalian cler- Sudan. Afghanistan. Pakistan, India, their argument that Islam is a religion 211 Leeds Student urivitleedssIndentonxuk Rid* September 22, 2006 Sport 300 Seconds in sport Captain 'Mouth'

try your hand at? that girl, and she's, well, very well LS- Wham your support like? Do you JD- Well. the 1st team won the endowed! have any hard-core fans? "The mens game is Sunday league. It was especially .IB- It would probably be womens good because we heat Manchester rugby. The girls team at the Uni arc LS- Okay— People reckon woolens JB- We have a few The best time is more physical, but Uni, who are our big rivals. We went very niee and I prefer sports where I frotY is a ha rubbish? Disuss... in big games like the varsity game on we still pull hair to Spain and won the Calclla Cup, can get physical. the 1 1 th October. it would be good and have and the second team just lost out in JB- No way_ It's a totally different for everyone to get behind the sports catfights...” the final of their Sunday league. Was LS- Speakng about nice girls, who is game. Women are built differently to teams a good season! the hottest girl in your team? men. Men are much more physical, but we still pull hair and have cat- LS- What i your fare film? LS- So what are you guys looking JB- Oooh. I'd probably say Jordan fights and stuff. Jane Burgess- Leeds forward to this year? Dixon_ She's got a lot going for her J8- Probably Football Factory, I love University Ladies Football LS- Would you ever accept a hung Danny Dyer. J11- Beating the Met in the varsity for a player if you were offered one? Captain game! Last year we lost 3-I but this LS- And your pin-up celebs? time around we are a lot better and JB- Absolutely not, no. No way. more confident we can beat them. Maybe if I was at Leeds Met-. JB- It's gotta be Becks, I love that LS- .No Jane, who; is ladies football Our squad is very strong, so watch man! all about? out! LS- So, as the skipper, what will you LS- So when it conies to a night out, LS- Fighting talk! So who are your bring to the the team? who can drink the rest under the JB- It's brilliant but its a totally dif- pathalling idols? table? ferent game to the blokes. It's bril- JB- I'll bring a little bit of passion liant to play and gel involved in but JB- I'd have to say Eric Cantona. He back to the side. I love the team and I J11- Erm, I guess I could be a con- sometimes its maybe seen as a bit plays in the same kind of role as love this Uni. lErm. and hopefully we tender for that one. or at least when I boring to watch, but I love it! myself. The man was a genius. caan improve the image of womens was in first year. I'd have to say football with regards to the other Lim Tucker, our star striker. She LS- rim ' ve been involved for a while LS- If you weren't amazing at foot- sports teams in the university. can dominate a few pints when she now. low aid You (Iv last season? ball, which other sports would you wants to.

UNIVERSITY 0 14.E035 LEEDS WEDN mt. DAY OCTOBER 11TH 2006 ARNEGI DAYT E FIXTUR MINA' 3304,1!t,T B 1, VARS1T1 vivirnmnis ILL AFTER PARTY AT MEN'S RUGBY LEAGUE HOCKEY WOMEN'S RUGBY OWN. CREATION! NETBALL, MEN'S SQUAW. NEMO 6 TicItetsiStwaavaare Rain the ARC WOMEN'S IIIAOMIHTON. BASKETRALL & VOL- recePlion Of cictivilies fair al LIRI or at Leeds UNION, 7PM LEYBALL. Met Sports Office or Reshets fuyre. Strictly over 18's only. ID will be required. R.O,A.R. HEADINGLEY CARNEGIE STADIUM MEN'S 6 WOMEN'S TENNIS E TRACK 6 FIELD AIMETICS r. TICKETS £2 ON THE GATE CfRUCI.41r irion

Leeds Student wavtleedssmdencerwuk Fddag September 22, 2006 21 AI bunged up Sporting comment

Ahran Symonds-Bak looks at the latest scandal to rock English football

thereby deemed to not be acting to the can. but on the other hand the conse agers, struggling to hold onto !heir inh, best interests of the club. He was quences of failure are equally large-a arc more Likely to turn to brings, inatLh- sacked by Arsenal soon after these drop of a few places in the league table fixing (as has recently been in in-idenee rev:dawns, despite maintaining he on the final day of the season, failure to in Italy's Seric A, leading to punish. always intended to hand the money to qualify for the champions league, or ments for some of the Nee-est names in Arsenal Football club. relegation can cost a club millions of Italian football, such as Juventits, AC In today's game. the rewards for pounds. These. astronomical SLUM of Milan, and Lazio) and tapping-up rival success. both financial and otherwise, money, and the high pressure environ- players, in an attempt to safeguard their are so great that clubs are desperate to ment of modern football. inevitably own future, potentially- at the cost of the reach the highest possible level they !cad to corruption. Under fire roan. future of their club leeds met students'dents' union leeds met su • civic qtr a leeds • isi 3he www.leedsmetevents.co.uk O n January this year Mike Newell. ping up'-approaching a player or lets manager of championship side aeent without the permissiiin of his O Luton 'Town, shocked football by club, Similarly, the Chelsea head of O announcing that bungs-or Illegal pay- youth development, Frank Antesen. is MOTION CITY ments-are rife within the game. The accused of making an illegal approach •subsequent Panorama investigation. to highly-rated Middlesborough young- SOUNDTRACK {71 aired on -Tuesday, exposed the extent of ster. Nathan Porrit. in order to join the ITHEMISIIN the corruption, and saw several big current Premiership Champions. names implicated in the scandal. Sam Arnesen himself was the subject of an Alliudyce, manager of Bolton illegal approach from Chelsea while al Wanderers, and Portsmouth's- Harry Tottenham, which was settled by an Redknapp were named, but both vehe- Dimillion compensation package, mently deny the allegations. Sam whilst Chelsea were found guilty of Allardyce is accused of signing players 'tapping up' Ashley Cole, Following and ensuring that his son, a football the FA investigion into the claims made agent, receives a large sum-a case of by Panorama. they could face a points nepotism which clearly breaches FA deduction if found guilty over Porrih, O rules. Allardyce. meanwhile, has instructed Redknapp was caught on film dis- his lawyer to take 'appropriate' action, cussing the possible transfer of claiming he has never taken or asked Blackburn Rovers defender Andy Todd for a bung. JULIETTE O with his agent, which amounts. to 'tap- A 'Bung' is a secret and illegal pay- ment which is outside the usual, legal AND THE LICKS method of transfer negotiations. An SEETH agent may offer the manager of a foot- ball club a significant stint of money to O sign his player, the effect of winch is to relegate. the ability of the player to a O secondary concern. This obviously IS to the detriment of the game, as players DAYI may not be to the standard required by the club to compete. Therefore the [TRIBUTE BAND) hoard, the fans, and the rest of the team 11111,1011111111 arc being short-changed. One former agent. Steven Noel-Hill, admitted to O Panorama: "The game is corrupt. O Bungs were the lubricant of deals. I would say that 80% of all deals have bungs attached to them." vim Mike Newell's commendable out- MtE burats-he also recently revealed the HOT XI name of an agent who offered trim a hung- may have brought the issuL- of EVIIIFE NFU 10r F II WEI 4rIviir illegal payments out of the woodwork. but they are by no means a new (:035- cent. One of the most highly publicised incidents occurred in 194.1., when STA 4-ELECTRIC HEAD EU t CO IWO IS CD •_ IFS III I= INC ix, • ED • E George Graham. then manager of Redknapp (above) and Arsenal. was found guilty by a Premier Tickets: The Met Bar, Jumbo and Crash Records and LOU C.A.T.S League inquiry of accepting £285,000 Allardyce (top of page) both Online at leedsmetevents.co.uk or ticketline.co.uk / Tel: 0113 244460o to facilitate the transfer of Danish inter- deny all allegations (GOOGLE) national John Jensen to the Gunners, Age Restrictions Apply Leeds Student watileedssexlenterg.uk Mt September 22, 2006 Sultimer scandal 4 The subsequent debates between the By Adam Lord earlier games were overshadowed by sev- 100m record holder Justin Gatlin has been eral emirs in Australia's two all draw with appealing a possible life ban for elevated ICE, Darrel Hair and Pakistan captain Croatia. Poll sent of three players in the testosterone levels for the best pan of the Inzomain LTI-Haq have meant that the game. two of which were most probably summer. back pages have once again been domi- At the start of the summer of 200n there correctly adjudicated but the final one in Fellow American Marion Jones is also nated by controversy not momentous was one thing in the forefront of the minds the ninety third came after he had booked attracting the wrong kind of headlines sporting moments. of the British public. After 40 years of Croatian Josip Simunic three times. This again although her B sample has suppos- In fairness, the English cricket team hurt. England were once again going to was a world cup first and came on an edly cleared her name. However Olympic were never going to live up to the hype win the world cup . evening where Mr Poll missed an obvious Gold medallist and BBC analyst Michael following the regaining of and As we all know this was nut the case. handball decisionand also blew for full Johnson has called for Jones to leave the the build up has well and truly begun as The mighty English once again limped time as the Australians appeared to be sport believing she will never be able to they spend the winter trying to retain the out of the competition on penalties. The scoring the winning goal 'repair her image'. Even British 400in coveted urn down under. This sums up the quarter final defeat to Portugal seemed to Sadly, especially in the Sports of runner Chrisitne Ohuruogo has been summer in a way, a disappointment for sum up a rather disappointing tournament Cycling and Athletics the spurts pages; banned for missing several drugs tests. many which has been marred by contro- all mund. once again became dominated with drugs Cricket was in the spotlight this sum- versy. Tice ball tampering and numerous In the period after the World Cup peo- stories. Cycling has always had a problem mer following England's Ashes victory of doping offences meant that this was some- ple were not talking about the Italian vic- with doping offences concerningits top 2005. A injury hit side did well in Test thing of a let down. Alas, to the joy of tory but about 'that' headburt _incise _ performers and this summers Tour de Series against both Pakistan and Sri Lanka almost everyone, the football sew= is Zidane's act of aggression was 10 d()Mi- mark ruling, and in another unique judge- France was no different. although fared far worse in the One day now in full swing. naic the headlines for sortie weeks to ment. gave 7.idane u few days of commu- The sport, which is constantly trying to internationals, especially against the • come. nity service working with children due to withhold its already fragile reputation was impressive Sri Lankans Those perform- The story surrounded what ex-Everson the fact that the headhuU was his last act as thrown into turmoil by the doping bans for ances do not bode well for the upcoming defender Marra Maler872i must have said a professional footballer. arguably two of the favourites in Jan ICC Champions Trophy and then the to provoke the normally mild mannered Apart from the under performance of Ulrich and Ivan Basso. If this hadn't fur- World Cup in the Caribbean. French maestro to do what he did. Many the likes of Frank Liunpard and other ther thrown into question the legality of However the main story of the summer accusations were hurled :elating to such England stars the other Englishmen in the cylcling more crisis came as following the was the infamous ball tampering incident things as Zidane's race and also his moth- headlines after the tournament was referee event both Floyd Landis' A and B samples during the final tem between England and er. The enventual verdict- was that Graham Poll. Early on in the tournament tested positive for banned stimulant Pakistan at the Brit Oval. Daniel Hair, an Materazzi had made a disparaging remark Poll was being hailed as one of the better testosterone. This positive test., just four umpire never decorated in much glory and relating to Zidane's sister not his mother. referees in the tournament due to his error days following Landis' impressive victory never far away from controversy accused fox performances amongst some rather made the whole race something of a farce. the Pakistanis of ball tampering and their Another verdict handed out was by more questionable officiating. As with Cycling. Athletics has had subsequent protested led to England being FIFA. The world football governing both But his arguably fine performances in some of its biggest names plunged into awarded the test by forfeit. giving them a gave Materami a two match ban. a land- controversy. The now former joint world series victory.

UNIVERSITY LEO LEEDS WED DAY OCTOBER 11TH 2006 ARN 61 DAM £ FIXTURES FROM 1-SP MEN'S RUGBY 6 VARSITY NETBAU,„ MEN'S SQUIISH,BASCETIIALL MEN'S VOL- Tickets f5 in advance from the ARC WORM ferrAar attIvilles fair at WU or of Leeds UNION, 7PM 'LETEIALL Office or Freshers- Fcryre Strictly over 18's only, ID will be required, R.O.A.R. HEADINGLEY CARNEGIE STADIUM MEN'S & WOMEN'S TENNIS 6 TFIACX 6 FIELD TICKETS E2 ON THE GATE ATHLETICS

Luis Midas mmieedsstildentorg.uk RINK September 72,2006 Get stuck n * Adam Lord gives the lowdown on why you should get involved in uni sport

Now is an exciting time to be getting trend. involed sport at the University of Leeds. In terms of Sports to look out for Cheerleading Captain Natalie The Leeds Student spoke with new Sports Archie pointed to Ultimate Frisbee and Freialich- "Cheerleading isn't just about Officer Archie Sample who told us about how it is now a BUSA sport and should pout-pouts! We are reigning National and what was in store for the upcoming year. go from strength to strength. From the Eurpean champions and challenged in His main Rims at the moment is the more traditional sports such as Rugby and two American cups. We are a successful upcoming varsity match with Leeds Met Cricket to sports that people may not be dance team but also cheer for the which Archie cliams 'we're gonna win', so familiar with like Kortivall there is a lot American Football team so there's some- This year's event will be bigger and better of choice. To help you the Leeds Student thing for everyone." than ever with 5.000 people expected to caught up with some Sports Captains at travel to Headingley stadium for the the Sports Fair earlier this week. Canoe Club Member Katie- "It's the Rugby and some 2,500 of those going to most fun you can have with your clothes Creation to carry the festivites on through Koriball Captain Alice Cook- "It's kind on! It's a new invigorating sport and an the night. of a cross between haskehall and netball exciting way to meet new people. Play Generallv. Archie sees this year as a It's a dutch sport and is a great chance for hard, drink hard' year of further progression and com- people to try something new. No body has mended the work of last year's Officer really heard of it so the majority of people "With 75 Sports clubs at the university Katrina 0' Mahony who set many poliiees are beginners" there is definitely something for every- in motion which will begin to make an one. All the facilites that you could need impact this year. Brakdance Captain Jimmy Turner- are on your doorstep and everything is The fact that the Sports Fair was given "It's pretty much the most successful Uni very reasonably priced. If you have ever the whole of the Sports Hall for the first breakdancing team ever! Last season the wanted to get involved in something now time the year is a simple demonstration of ' A' team came first and the 413' team came is the time. You don't want to he regret- how Sport is becoming more important in second so we dominated. It's a fresh and ting not taking your chance to get University life, Sport seen as an integral intimate society which is very good for fit- involved in university sport" part of education now more money and ness." effort is being put in to recognise this Out the Last year's success back door stories in uni sport By Adam Lord

es, "We have the best skydiver in the the football with the 1st team win- By By Copal & Michael Niles, won the indoor regional title, the cycling team retained BUSA team country. the netball 2nd team that ning cups both at home and abroad golds and the women's squash team were not beaten throughout the whole with success in Spain. It was a great season for Leeds Uni won the BUSA northern premier title. season and we have the best cheer- Leeds Uni will be hoping that sport last time round. The men's football 1st team won leading squad in Europe. We had a their next success will come in this The rowers from the University their league with a victory at home to great year." seasons Varsity series against the Boat Club smashed the BUSA World Liverpool Hope and the women's One of the success stories of the Met. Both teams will battle it out in netballers went the whole season year was the Leeds Uni Cheerleading several sports. Last year Leeds Met Record for 100,1)00 metres by over PHOTO: GOGGLE 10 minutes. The record-breakers fin- without being beaten winning the Squad who not only ran out on top of ran out 9-4 winners so Leeds Uni will ished in 4hours 28minutes and 27 see- BU SA shield. the National rankings but also blew no doubt be out for revenge this time Ott Wednesday afternoon Leeds United onds in the attempt at Oceana night- The University's Sports Officer away the competition in the Eurpean around parted company with manager Kevin club. Archie Sample sings the praises of championships. Blackwell. Despite guiding them to the The women's Ultimate Frisbee team many of last year's sporting success- The women also conquered all in Play-Off Final at the end of last season, a poor start to the season sm.; Leeds lying in 23rd place near the foot of the Championship table. He was sacked despite a 3-1 victory over Barnet in the Carling Cup. It is quite a turn around tor Blackwell who less than 12-months ago was talking to the Levdc.5'rudeer about taking Leeds hack into the Premiership and onto bigger and better things. He took over during the club's most difficult period which folowed their relegation with 1 21in worth of debt. His assistant John Carver will take over as caretaker manager until a perma- nent replacement is Found. The obvious choice is firmer Charlton manager Alan Curbishley. Chairman Ken Bates may turn to candidates whom he worked with at Chelsea including Swindon's Dennis Wise and the currently out of work pair of Glenn Huddle and Claudia RIMiCrl.

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111111111. 1111e4i Student sport Off the wa Uni gets state of the art climbing wall By Michael Niles rookies and even the pros. Designer with improvements made to sports Could you score for of the wall. Don Robinson was a lec- services across campus and beyond. turer at the University in the 1960's Artificial pitches at Weetwond have l'mversity of Leeds students will and created the first ever indoor received a one million pound resur- Leeds Student? soon be conquering new heights as climbing wall in the world. also on facing over the summer seeing the the finishing touches are made to a the University- of Leeds campus. football and hockey grounds reach new climbing wall, Up to £13 million of investment is better standards.- The gym has also It stands at around 9 metres tall. planned for sporting facilities in the been treated to a 00.000 overhaul costs around the r200,000 mark and near future and the development with new equipment and new layout can boast obstacles to challenge the plans have already been set in motion featuring flat-screen TV's and air- We're looking for con. Sport Leeds who are responsible for the changes has also gone through sports writers to join a re-branding process and is now known as Sport and Physical Activity. Stuart Ross. Director of our team. Sport is excited by the progress University sport is making. We have a very broad ranee of activities for students to get involved in. There are opportunities at all levels, whether you're competing at professional. level or you just want a taster course.' Sport at Leeds UniverSity is look- ing good with over 350 inter-mural football teams, twice the size of rivals like Manchester University and received a 5-star rating in the Times guide for inter-mural sports. Plans have been tabled for a 25- metre swimming pool to be built on campus and Stuart Ross told the Leed.v5radenr he hopes to be given the go-ahead in the coming months. The introduction of the climbing a wall is just one of the major changes that will effect Uni sport users. From Christmas, students can book their court time on the Internet and they'll have more choice on memberships with the newly introduced 'platinum' Meeting Fridays - option of unlimited sports access. The wall will he ready for action in around 3-weeks and the Director 5pm - LS office - of Sport hopes that along with the climbing and caving clubs, sports 4- users will also come down and get to First Floor - LUU grips with the new vertical challenge.

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