PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 #19 www.razorcake.com ight around the time we were wrapping up this issue, Todd hours on the subject and brought in visual aids: rare and and I went to West Hollywood to see the Swedish band impossible-to-find records that only I and four other people have RRRandy play. We stood around outside the club, waiting for or ancient punk zines that have moved with me through a dozen the show to start. While we were doing this, two young women apartments. Instead, I just mumbled, “It’s pretty important. I do a came up to us and asked if they could interview us for a project. punk magazine with him.” And I pointed my thumb at Todd. They looked to be about high-school age, and I guess it was for a About an hour and a half later, Randy took the stage. They class project, so we said, “Sure, we’ll do it.” launched into “Dirty Tricks,” ripped right through it, and started I don’t think they had any idea what Razorcake is, or that “Addicts of Communication” without a pause for breath. It was Todd and I are two of the founders of it. unreal. They were so tight, so perfectly in time with each other that They interviewed me first and asked me some basic their songs sounded as immaculate as the recordings. On top of questions: who’s your favorite band? How many shows do you go that, thought, they were going nuts. Jumping around, dancing like to a month? That kind of thing. One of the young women finished chickens, screaming, getting drunk. Blasting out one song and it up by asking, “How important is music in your life?” rocking into the next and never letting the energy lag – even when I knew what kind of answer she was looking for. Something they were tuning. Even when they paused to drink beer, they made succinct. Something that sums it up wisely in a sentence or two. If it seem like part of the show. I was blown away. I’d had more time to think about it, I could’ve quoted It was one of those rare shows where, after leaving, all I could Donofthedead, who’s told me a bunch of times, “When people stop say is, “Fuck, that was great.” It was one of those shows where I being passionate about music, they lose their souls.” Or I could’ve felt like, if I could articulate this, if I could take these feelings and summed it up the way Jimmy Alvarado did in his Descendents find the right words to describe them, if I could pass this on to a review: “This is essential in ways only previously reserved for reader and let him feel it, then I could finally show how important things like air and water.” Of, if I were Todd, who just wrote and music is in life. And why it’s so important. released the book Born to Rock, I could’ve said, “I just wrote a I still haven’t found a way to articulate it perfectly and book on that.” I could’ve given her the whole story, told her how I succinctly. I can’t sum it up in a witty sentence. I could tell you in spend forty to fifty hours a week putting out this magazine, how the meantime to pick up all the albums by a band that can give you it’s a full-time job that I don’t get paid for. I could’ve told her that that feeling, listen to them again and again. Focus on the angry I don’t have a couch in my living room because the eight feet parts on good days. Find the humor in the lyrics on bad days. Feed along the wall, where a couch would fit, is taken up by my CD off the energy. Make it a part of you. Keep going to shows. Keep racks. I could’ve told her about how I ride my bike past a record reading zines. It’s all out there. store every day on the way home from work, and it takes an incredible force of will for me to not go in. I could’ve talked for –Sean AD DEADLINE FOR ADVERTISING STIPULATIONS ISSUE #20 • All ads are black and white. April 1st, 2004 (no joke) • Make ads the right size and orientation. AD DEADLINE FOR ISSUE #21 • We don’t reserve ad space. June 1st, 2004 (no joke) • Send good laser prints for the ads. Use solely black ink on all art. Do not output your ad on a EMAIL OR MAIL US bubble jet printer even if it looks black and FOR THE RATES AND DETAILS white. • All photos must be halftoned using a 85 LPI AD SIZES (85 line screen). • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. • If we need to invoice you, we won’t run your • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. ad until we have the cash on hand, so make • Quarter page, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. those arrangements before the ad deadline. • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. • So on, so forth. Yep. • Please make all checks out to Razorcake. Razorcake and razorcake.com are tasered, tamed, and boiled down into old-fashioned horse glue by Sean Carswell, Todd Taylor, Josh Lane, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, ktspin, and Felizon Vidad Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky, Inc. Sean <[email protected]> Todd <[email protected]> Razorcake is distributed by Big Top Newstand Services, 2729 Mission St., Ste.201, SF, CA 94110, [email protected] Cover drawn with a goddamn ball point pen by Rob Ruelas: [email protected]. Mr. and Mrs. Frankie Norman Warsaw Bands, labels, whomever, email him if you’re interested in him doing work for you. Stubbs and the King, Las Vegas, NV. Thank you list: No boobies allowed thanks to Rob Ruelas for drawing the cover. Pick up your own Jamba Juice thanks to Julia Smut for her help with the cover. Bionic thanks to Dan Monick for his picture in Rich’s column. Bringing friends to rip off rich people thanks to Jeff Fox for the George Seldes article and for the DVD review. Friends don’t let friends go see the Dirtbombs thanks to Petite Paquet for the Tyrades interview. No ride to the Pixies show thanks to Gabe and Kat for the Texas Mafia interview. Movable plastic turtle thanks to BD Williams and Matt Comer for the Hasil Adkins interview. World’s smallest beeramid thanks to Ben Snakepit for the J Church tour diary. Invasion of Club Med thanks to Chris Pepus for the Ann Coulter article. Blind midget thanks to Keith Rosson for his illustrations. I heard she was born with a dick thanks to Paddy Costello for his help with the Rivethead interview. BYO probably cheated thanks to the Blatant Stereotypes for kicking ass at the Punk Rock Bowling Tournament. Drowning emo cats thanks to Jimmy Alvarado, Speedway Randy, Aphid Peewit, Donofthedead, Greg Barbera, Potsi, Puckett, and Toby Tober for all their reviews. www.razorcake.com *• PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 “She lost her mind but found some shorts.” Issue #19, April/May 2004 –From the song “Egg Bound” by Leatherface Nardwuar The Human Serviette ..... Who Are You? ............................ pg. 4 Art ........................................................... Shizzville!! ............................. pg. 7 Rev. Nørb .................................... Love, Nørb .................................. pg. 8 The Rhythm Chicken .................. The Dinghole Reports ....................... pg. 12 Ayn Imperato..................................... 90803 ...............................................pg. 14 Designated Dale ........................... I’m Against It ........................pg. 16 Rich Mackin .................................. The Twisted Balloon ..................... pg. 18 Jim Ruland ........................................... Lazy Mick ......................................... pg. 20 Gary Hornberger ........................ Squeeze My Horn ............................... pg. 22 Seth Swaaley..................... Swinging Door Conversations ...................pg. 24 Tito ................................................ Nom de Plume ........................ pg. 26 Sean Carswell ......................... A Monkey to Ride the Dog ....................... pg. 28 Maddy .............................................. Shiftless When Idle .................. pg. 30 Ben Snakepit ......................................... Snakepit ......................................... pg. 31 ***** Chrystaei Branchaw’s Photo Page .......... New Bomb Turks .............. pg. 33 J-Church Tour Diary ....................... Article by Ben Snakepit .................... pg. 34 Texas Mafia ............ Interview by Kat Jetson and Gabriel Hart ........... pg. 38 Rivethead. .............................. Interview by Todd Taylor .................... pg. 42 Treason and Republican Politics ......... Article by Chris Pepus .............. pg. 48 Tyrades ......................................... Interview by Petite Paquet ........... pg. 52 George Seldes ................................ Article by Jeff Fox ................................. pg. 58 Hasil Adkins, Part I ........ Interview by Bradley Williams ............... pg. 64 Dan Monick’s Photo Page ...... Actin’ Like You’re from Connecticut ......... pg. 77 ***** Record Reviews ..... More Exciting than Wiping a Cat’s Ass .................. pg. 78 Zine Reviews ................ Eating Glass to Impress a Girl .......... pg. 104 Video Reviews ....................... Traded for a Puck Bag .......................... pg. 109 Book Reviews .......... Odd Little Books by Odd Little People ................. pg. 110 Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the US and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake solely via Left Bank Books, 92 Pike St., Seattle, WA 98101, who have a book-for-prisoners program. Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is five issues. You have to prepay. For $7.50, you’ll receive five copies of the same issue, sent to you when we do our mailout to all of our distros, big and small.