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Razorcake Issue PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 #17 www.razorcake.com It’s strange the things you learn about yourself when you travel, I took my second trip to go to the wedding of an old friend, andI the last two trips I took taught me a lot about why I spend so Tommy. Tommy and I have been hanging out together since we much time working on this toilet topper that you’re reading right were about four years old, and we’ve been listening to punk rock now. together since before a lot of Razorcake readers were born. Tommy The first trip was the Perpetual Motion Roadshow, an came to pick me up from jail when I got arrested for being a smart independent writers touring circuit that took me through seven ass. I dragged the best man out of Tommy’s wedding after the best cities in eight days. One of those cities was Cleveland. While I was man dropped his pants at the bar. Friendships like this don’t come there, I scammed my way into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. See, along every day. they let touring bands in for free, and I knew this, so I masqueraded Before the wedding, we had the obligatory bachelor party, as the drummer for the all-girl Canadian punk band Sophomore which led to the obligatory visit to the strip bar, which led to the Level Psychology. My facial hair didn’t give me away. Nor did my obligatory bachelor on stage, drunk and dancing with strippers. We obvious lack of national health care. I got in for free. don’t make these rules. We just live by them. So Tommy was up I saw some cool things, like the bass Mick Jones smashed on there, with a topless woman ripping the buttons off of his fancy the cover of London Calling, and I saw some lame things, like all shirt, only to expose that underneath, Tommy was wearing a the teen idols’ outfits. I wandered upstairs to the exhibit on Razorcake t-shirt. It made me proud to see Razorcake representing rock’n’roll magazines and stared at a huge glass case full of Rolling up there on that stage. Seriously. Think of it metaphorically: when Stone, Spin, 16, and other equally weak stuff. One of my friends the societally acceptable costume gets torn off and life’s suddenly saw me staring at the display and said, “Where’s Razorcake?” just about the down and dirty good time, there’s Razorcake, close to I laughed because it was absurd. Why would Razorcake ever be the heart. somewhere like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and why would I Okay, so I was pretty drunk. want it to be there, anyway? I hope nothing I write ever ends up Later that night, a barely standing Tommy introduced me to his behind a glass case, where people can’t touch it and read it. The uncle. Tommy pointed at me and said to his uncle, “This is the guy truth is, the place where I tend to see Razorcake the most is on the who took all the crazy shit we did and put it in writing.” Even top of people’s toilet tanks. And that’s where I want to see it. through the haze of a dozen beers, and beyond silly strip club Besides, I kept reminding myself, it’s the Hall of Fame, not the Hall metaphors, I realized that this is what I aspire to: the stories of Talent. What kind of thing is fame to aspire for? Why would you themselves. The idea of taking this wild life and this mad want to be so famous that you’d have to spend your life in a glass subculture we’re all a part of and putting it in writing. Spreading it case? And what could be more fleeting and vacuous than fame? I around. Helping everyone know that we’re not completely alone. don’t know. The top of a toilet tank? There’s no glass case separating us from life. It’s all right here. This made me ask myself what all this work is all about. What Nothing’s keeping us from reaching out and touching it. do I aspire to? -Sean AD DEADLINE FOR ADVERTISING STIPULATIONS ISSUE #18 • All ads are black and white. December 1st, 2003 • Make ads the right size and orientation. AD DEADLINE FOR ISSUE #19 • We don’t reserve ad space. February 1st, 2004 • Send good laser prints for the ads. Use solely black ink on all art. Do not output your ad on a EMAIL OR MAIL US bubble jet printer even if it looks black and FOR THE RATES AND DETAILS white. • All photos must be halftoned using a 85 LPI AD SIZES (85 line screen). • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. • If we need to invoice you, we won’t run your • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. ad until we have the cash on hand, so make • Quarter page, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. those arrangements before the ad deadline. • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. • So on, so forth. Yep. • Please make all checks out to Razorcake. Razorcake and razorcake.com are untangled and wrangled by Sean Carswell, Todd Taylor, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, ktspin and Felizon Vidad Razorcake is distributed by Big Top Newstand Services, 2729 Mission St., Ste.201, SF, CA 94110, [email protected] Cover designed by Jason Willis, <www.heyrube.com>; photo by Todd Taylor Thank you list: “Are you crock potting ribs?” thanks to Julia Smut for her ever-diligent masseusing of our cover; Jason “Part of the Problem” Willis for his cannonball of a front cover; Davey and Mark Tiltwheel bid you fine hellos. Grass stains that’ll never come out thanks to Petite Paquet for her Red Onions interview; “Hello, Photo by Seth Swaaley I’m Wesley Willis and I’m a rock star” thanks to Scott Cox-Stanton for his remembrance and the Willis family and Eyeosaur Productions for the pictures; Pabst fuck-yeahs to our new contributor Ben Snakepit; fake blood thanks to Randy Iwata for helping out with Nardwuar; burning dumpster thanks to Tito for his first column; “Wow, you’re self-taught” thanks to Rob Ruelas for the Rich Mackin illustration; high-kicking thanks to Bradley Williams for the ILCK II interview and Jeff Johnson for the pics; barbed wire, blood, and libertarian thanks to Art Ettinger for the AntiSeen interview and Jason Griscom, Allana Sleeth, Greg Bailey for the photos; creeps plus vanity equals real icky thanks to Patricia Geary for her column; Harry and Nancy Carswell for watching the birth of rock’n’roll and then birthing Sean, so he could write about it; it’s an addiction with few rewards thanks to Jimmy Alvarado, Cuss Baxter, Donofthedead, Aphid Peewit, Mike Beer, Puckett, and Wanda Spragg for their reviews; newsprint on the light switch thanks to Greg Barbara and Speedway Randy for their book and zine reviews; fuck this job, 52-hour Greyhound bus ride thanks to Not Josh for all of his reviews and coming out to visit us. www.razorcake.com *• PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 , December 2003/ January 2004 “I can see that otter’s dick” Issue #17 –From the liner notes to the posthumously released Wesley Willis Greatest Hits – Volume 3 Sean Carswell ......................... A Monkey to Ride the Dog .................... pg. 4 Art ........................................................... Shizzville!! ............................. pg. 7 Rev. Nørb ............................................... Love, Nørb .................................. pg. 8 The Rhythm Chicken .................. The Dinghole Reports ....................... pg. 12 Maddy .............................................. Shiftless When Idle. ..................... pg. 16 Rich Mackin .................................. The Twisted Balloon ....................... pg. 18 Nardwuar The Human Serviette ..... Who Are You? ............................ pg. 22 Gary Hornberger .......................... Squeeze My Horn ............................... pg. 28 Designated Dale .................................. I’m Against It ........................pg. 32 Tito ......................................... Nom De Plume .................................. pg. 36 Ayn Imperato.................................. 90803 ....................................................pg. 38 Patricia Geary .............................. Don’t Hold Your Breath ................. pg. 40 Money .................................................... Lazy Mick ......................................... pg. 42 Ben Snakepit ......................................... Snakepit ......................................... pg. 47 ***** The Immortal Lee County Killers II.... Interview by Bradley Williams .... pg. 48 Grabass Charlestons ..................... Interview by Todd Taylor .................... pg. 54 Red Onions ........ Interview by Petite Paquet ...................................................... pg. 62 AntiSeen .......................... Interview by Art Ettinger ............................. pg. 66 Wesley Willis ...... Remembrance by Scott “Biscuithead” Cox-Stanton .... pg. 72 Dan Monick Photo Page ........ Dead Soldiers Litter the Battlefield ......... pg. 77 ***** Record Reviews ................. I'm Not Sure If It's a Joke Or Not, but I Know I'm Not Listening to It Twice .................... pg. 78 Zine Reviews ... A Loose Wad of Half-Chewed Tarantula Parts .......... pg. 104 Book Reviews .. Over 100,000 People Were Killed in Less Than 24 Hours ... pg. 110 Video Reviews .. Music Videos Need "Plot" Like Porno Movies Need "Plot" ... pg. 112 Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the US and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake solely via Left Bank Books, 92 Pike St., Seattle, WA 98101, who have a book-for-prisoners program. Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is five issues. You have to prepay. For $7.50, you’ll receive five copies of the same issue, sent to you when we do our mailout to all of our distros, big and small.
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