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t’s never been easy. On average, I put sixty to seventy hours a Yesterday, some of us had helped our friend Chris move, and before we week into Razorcake. Basically, our crew does something that’s moved his stereo, we played the Rhythm Chicken’s new 7”. In the paus- IInot supposed to happen. Our budget is tiny. We operate out of a es between furious Chicken overtures, a guy yelled, “Hooray!” We had small apartment with half of the front room and a bedroom converted adopted our battle call. into a full-time office. We all work our asses off. In the past ten years, That evening, a couple bottles of whiskey later, after great sets by I’ve learned how to fix computers, how to set up networks, how to trou- Giant Haystacks and the Abi Yoyos, after one of our crew projectile bleshoot software. Not because I want to, but because we don’t have the vomited with deft precision and another crewmember suffered a poten- money to hire anybody to do it for us. The stinky underbelly of DIY is tially broken collarbone, This Is My Fist! took to the six-inch stage at finding out that you’ve got to master mundane and difficult things when The Poison Apple in L.A. We yelled and danced so much that stiff peo- you least want to. ple with sourpusses on their faces slunk to the back. We incited under- Co-founder Sean Carswell and I went on a weeklong tour with our aged hipster dancing. We yelled the shit out of “Hooray!” while raising friend and talented poet James Jay up the West Coast, to Seattle and our arms in perpetual touchdowns. Between songs, Annie the singer and back. It was more like a vacation where we all got to talk about writing guitarist for TIMF! asked, “What are you saying?” and then read our stories to people. Some places, two people showed up. We responded, arms aloft, in rough unison, “Hooray!” And we read to them. What are we? Rockstars? One show got cancelled. “Hooray?” she said smiling, “Nobody says hooray any more.” A couple of shows were packed. We skated. We drank. A really cool guy We continued “hooray”ing during every song. And we tried to dance made a Razorcake Wrestling Federation t-shirt for us. as hard as we had worked. We yelled hooray! so long and so hard that The day I returned was terrible. All of the computers were down. The TIMF! played a genuinely spontaneous encore, partially inspired, I was website took a header. I’d just driven six hours on little sleep and all I sure at the time, by my hoarse and insightful calling for, “Play one from wanted to do was lie down and face it the next day. Over the next seven the seven inch that you haven’t played yet!” And they did and it ruled. I days, I scaled that shitberg, found out that our DSL company changed haven’t seen so many of my friends smiling at the same time for ages. It passwords on us again, without notification. Found out that network cards was sweaty-perfect. can get fried. Found out that things out of our control fritzed out. All on After the set ended and we filtered out, we made our designated driv- the same day. A perfect technical storm. It took a week to get back to zero. er do some barrel dancing to prove she could drive home safely. The bar- I look at putting Razorcake together as a marathon with one leg tied rel dancing was shaky, but the ride home was laser-true. On the ride to an anvil and folks constantly throwing javelins at us. It’s a daily reg- home, it hit me, just like the cool air rushing in from the rolled-down imen. Melt the glacier. Dripping water puts holes in rocks. window: don’t let everyday toil leak the air out of your fun. Work hard So, I worked for twenty days straight with only one full day off. Why at finding, and keeping, what makes you happy… even if you feel like put myself through what sounds like self-inflicted torture? This Is My you’re staring at the bottom of the shitberg and can’t even see the top. Fist!, who were on our last cover, gave me my most recent affirmation. –Todd AD DEADLINE AD SIZES • We don’t reserve ad space. ISSUE #28 • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. • If we need to invoice you, we August 1st, 2005 • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. won’t run your ad until we ISSUE #29 • Quarter page, 3.75” have the cash on hand, so make October 1st, 2005 wide, 5” tall. those arrangements before the • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. ad deadline. • Please make all checks out to • “Am I notdestroying my Email Razorcake. enemies when I make friends [email protected] • We only accept electronic ads. of them?” –Abraham Lincoln for rates and full details. • All ads are black and white. Cover photograph taken by Megan Pants Contact Razorcake: Todd: [email protected] Sean: [email protected] Thank you list: V ans held together with pickle jar lids thanks to Scott Stanton for the This Bike Is a Pipebomb interview and p aintings; Speedway Randy. Poor Man’s Sparks: Goddamn thats a lott a duct t ape thanks to Saucecherry for the TBI - Emergen-C in beer. APB photos; Shooting craps on a stop sign thanks to Ryan Leach and Mor Fleischer for the Paul Roessler interview; A bandana AND a mustache A T T H E SAME TIME thanks to Jenny Lens for her Paul Roessler photos; Decapitating little kids with drumsticks thanks to Rawl Power for his Paul Roessler photo; Burritos plus punk shows equals HOLY SHIT thanks to Sean Koepenick for the Routineers interview; Stages made of cinder blocks thanks to Ted Tuel for the Routineers photos; Ketchup and mustard on a cake thanks to Amy Adoyzie for her illustrations and laying out the Routineers interview; Just rock and roll and the truth thanks to Jennifer Whiteford for her all-girl band movies article; Kinda looks like Kenny Rogers thanks to Mitch Clem for the illustration in Josh s column; Band-aid covered nipple thanks to Terry Rentzepis for his illustration in Liz O. s col - umn; Here comes the summer thanks to Chris Pretti for the Undertones photo; As if the guy from the W eird Lovemakers could teach somebody guitar thanks to Jason W illis for his comic strip; Jukebox full of Irish jigs thanks to Jim Ruland, Sr ., for letting us use his photo; Pants as diapers thanks to Julia Smut for laying out the Bloodbath and Beyond interview; Seriously like this fucking close to hating everything forever but plowing along anyway thanks to Chris Pepus, Ty Forslund, Keith Rosson, Ben Snakepit, Speedway Randy, Mr. Z., Josh Benke, Jimmy Alvarado, Donofthedead, Jessica Thiringer, Newtim, Cuss Baxter, Kat Jetson, The Lord Kveldfur, Puckett, Aphid Peewit, Denise Orton, and Brian Mosher for their various and sundry reviews of stuf f; Jef f Fox for all the tough love, the joining of wid - ows and orphans, and candid advice in exchange for beer brats; Naked Rob, Brad at Confounded Books, Chloe at Reading Frenzy, Mark Halvorsen, Vanessa Burt, and Gary Accident Prone, for making our roads a little less weary. Issue #27 August / September 2005 PO Box 42129, 44 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.com WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Shizzville 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 38 12 Designated Dale I’m Against It 14 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 19 Jason Willis Satisfaction at No Cost 52 58 20 Rev. Nørb Love, Nørb 24 Josh Lane Kind of a Sewer 28 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 30 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 32 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 37 Chrystaei Branchaw’s Photo Page Ben Sankepit flew to Japan again. He’ll be double-featured next issue. INTERVIEWSANDFEATURES 38 Routineers by Sean Koepenick 44 This Bike Is a Pipebomb by Scott Stanton 64 70 52 The Observers by Josh 58 Paul Roessler by Ryan Leach 64 All-Girl Bands on the Big Screen article by Jennifer Whiteford 70 Bloodbath and Beyond by Megan Pants REVIEWS 76 Record A Hectare of Honkies... 104 Zine Not using that goddamn Courier font would have helped... 108 Book I can't spell "bourgeois" without using spell-check... 112 Video Soooo beyond being labeled as shit... Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.com were put together by Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Josh Lane, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, Amy Adoyzie, Julia Smut, Chris Devlin, and Bradley Williams. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. 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