Module 2 Handout 2.3: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies You’ve Got to Have Friends

Gail E. Joseph, Ph.D. & Phillip S. on Chloe!” The differing social worlds something, or they can assist someone Strain, Ph.D. experienced by Chloe and Cesar not in distress. Center on Evidence Based Practices only predict very divergent Giving compliments Ð While these for Early Learning developmental trajectories in preschool, behaviors do not often occur among University of Colorado at Denver but they set the occasion for life-long preschoolers they tend to have a consequences. Based upon longitudinal powerful effect on the formation of and retrospective research it is clear friendships. Preschoolers compliment esar is one of the more popular that Cesar is on a developmental path one another’s successes, buildings, and children in his preschool class. toward self-confidence, continual appearances. CHe often lands his classmates in friendships, school success, and healthy In addition to engaging in these creating unusual and fun imaginary adult adjustment. Chloe is sadly on a discrete behaviors, the formation of games. He readily shares toys and developmental path toward deepening friendship is equally dependent upon materials, often proposing a trade that isolation, loneliness, and adult mental two patterns of interaction. First, it is works for all. Cesar laughs a lot, he is health problems. Indeed early necessary for children to be reciprocal enthusiastic, and he almost always friendships are the most powerful in their interactions. Reciprocity has says, “Yes” when a classmate asks him single predictor of long-term two dimensions. Initially, children need to play or has a different play idea. adjustment. to be responsive to the social bids of Cesar also says nice things to his others. Also, over a period of time (say classmates and acknowledges their What behaviors lead to several months), it is important that accomplishments. When it is time to friendship? there be a relatively equal number of choose a friend for an activity Cesar is Several discrete behaviors that occasions that each member of a always in great demand. young children engage in during play friendship dyad starts an interaction. In Chloe is one of Cesar’s classmates. with each other are directly related to addition to reciprocity, friendship She spends most of her time in having friends (Tremblay, Strain, patterns of interaction are also preschool staying close to her teacher, Hendrickson & Shores, 1981). That is, characterized by the length of occasionally hovering around a gang of children who do more of these interaction occurrences. That is, children playing together. Chloe behaviors are more likely to have friendship pairs engage in more doesn’t say much to her classmates and friends. These specific behaviors lengthy episodes. they in turn seldom speak to her. including: Chloe, in fact, has lots of skills. She Organizing Play Ð with preschoolers Setting the stage for friendship knows what to do with toys and these are usually, “Let’s” statements, Prior to beginning instruction in utensils; she knows the usual “scripts” such as, “Let’s play trucks.” Often friendly behavior, teachers need to that emerge in imaginary play. Chloe these “Let’s” statements are followed attend to five elements of the seldom gets chosen by another by suggestions about roles (e.g., “You classroom. First, an inclusive classmate to participate together. In her be the driver”) or specific activities classroom where children with world of social isolation she (e.g., “Roll it to me”). disabilities are meaningfully included occasionally appears sad to the outside Sharing Ð sharing takes many forms in natural proportions is critical to observer. among preschoolers. Children with setting the stage (Guralnick, 1990). The behavioral contrast between friends request in the form of, “Can I Second, the presence and pre-selection Cesar and Chloe is profound. Cesar has have some paint” and they also oblige of cooperative use toys and materials classmates who advocate for him, share requests from peers. increase the opportunities for social encourage him, and include him. Assisting Others Ð assisting also interaction. Cooperative use toys are Chloe, on the other hand, is like an takes many forms at the preschool those that naturally lend themselves to invisible member of the class. No one level. Children can help each other two or more children playing together. asks, “Where’s Chloe;” no one says, onto or off of an apparatus, they can See Box 1 for a list. Third, it is “We need Chloe,” no one says, “Come tell or show a friend how to do necessary to examine all classroom

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routines and embed social interaction instruction and practice opportunities Example of schedule with embedded friendship opportunities throughout the day. Box 2 provides an example of how one teacher decided to Arrival ¥ Find a “buddy” to walk with from the bus to class. ¥ One child is assigned to be the “greeter” and greets children by embed social opportunities in her name as they arrive. classroom routines. Fourth, in order to ensure that social interaction Circle Time ¥ One child is selected to pass out the circle time props to each instruction has the necessary classmate. As the child progresses around the circle they call each importance; teachers need to include child by their name and say “pick a ___.” Each child then responds with, “Thanks (child’s name).” After children have a chance to use social interaction goals and objectives the circle time prop they will trade with a friend. on a child’s IEP/IFSP. While these ¥ Children identify a “buddy” to play with at choice time. The pair goals are likely to be the most critical must decide together where they will play first. for the child’s later development, they often do not appear on IEPs or IFSPs Free Choice ¥ Children will play with their “buddy” (assigned or selected) for the (McConnell, McEvoy, Odom, 1992). first ten minutes of free choice time. If they stick with their buddy the whole time they get special reward (sticker, stamp on hand, etc.). This could be due to the fact that many ¥ Adults watch for friendly behaviors and provide reinforcement when assessments do not include these skills appropriate. as test items. Finally, and most ¥ Set up the “buddy” table. Children must find a friend to play at the importantly, teachers need to devote table with in order to gain access to the high preference toys there. energy toward creating a classroom Small Group ¥ Plan cooperative art projects: “Buddy Art” climate with an ethos of friendship. ¥ Teach children to play board games (e.g., “Barnyard Bingo,” When one walks into a classroom “Candy Land,” “Don’t spill the beans”). where a teacher has done this ¥ Put children in charge of different materials needed for the small successfully you see adults give time group project (e.g., Tommy has the glue, Helen has the sequins, and attention to children when they Haley has the paper, Finot has the scissors, etc.). The children must engage in friendly behaviors, you hear use their peers name to request materials. adults talk nicely to one another, you ¥ Adults reinforce children for sharing. hear children supporting one another’s Outside ¥ Pre-select cooperative use toys for outside play (e.g., tire swings, friendly behavior and overall you get a wagons, double tricycles, balls, etc.). sense that friendship is the ultimate ¥ Adults organize peer play (e.g., Duck, Duck, Goose; Red Rover; goal. Farmer in the Dell; tag, etc.). ¥ Adults watch for and reinforce friendly behavior at appropriate times. Cooperative Use Toys Snack ¥ Have each child in charge of different snack items (e.g., Joey has juice, Haley has crackers, Sam has orange slices, Ben has cups, Balls Olivia has peanut butter, Cody has napkins). Children have to ask Puppets each other for the snack items from a peer. Wagons ¥ Adults reinforce children for sharing. Two telephones Story time ¥ Select books with friendship themes. Teeter-totters Dress-up clothes Goodbye ¥ Compliment circle Ð children have a chance Dramatic play materials Circle to give a friend a compliment while passing around the “compliment Tire swings bear.” Rocking boats ¥ One child can pass out backpacks from the cubbies as children are Board games about to leave. ¥ One child can say goodbye to each classmate. Box 1. Cooperative Use Toys Transitions ¥ During choice time, instead of transitioning to a center Ð transition to a friend (use a friend picture schedule). ¥ Children can hold hands going from one activity to another. ¥ One child can give children a high-five as they come in from outside. ¥ During clean-up, adults watch for and reinforce children’s helping behavior. Box 2

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Strategies for developing on the other (children show the happy appropriate and planned, can model friendships face when the behavior being modeled non-examples. Puppets in the image of Setting the stage is a necessary is friendly and the sad face when the children are particularly effective element of supporting children’s behavior being modeled is unfriendly). because they provide a proximate developing friendships. However, some It is also important to keep track of model. That is, children are more likely children will require systematic who has had a chance to role play and to emulate the behavior of models that teaching in order to develop the skills ensure that all of the children in the look like themselves. Additionally, that lead to having friends. This class get a turn during the week. some children will disclose more about teaching involves instruction that often Modeling with video and puppets. their feelings and friendship problems includes modeling appropriate behavior The use of video and puppets to help to puppets than to adults, especially if and providing practice opportunities model friendship skills can be very adults are historically not seen as with feedback. effective with young children. Video trustworthy by the child. Modeling principles. Modeling can based modeling is particularly effective Preparing peer partners. When include adults or peers demonstrating for several reasons. First, videos can typical children are assisting their the friendship skill, or video-based capture pristine examples of children classmates with special needs to modeling with short vignettes of using friendly behavior. These acquire friendships skills it is necessary children engaging in friendly behavior examples can be used to generate for them to learn to suspend social (Webster-Stratton & Hammond, 1997). discussion about the friendly behavior, rules in order not to feel rejected. In Often it is effective to model both and the context in which it is used on the usual course of events, interactions examples and non-examples followed the video. Also, these examples can be between typical children are usually by opportunities for correct responding. used as a standard with which to quite reciprocal. If someone asks There are three guiding principles of compare the children’s practice nicely to play they usually get a effective role-play modeling strategies. attempts. Video vignettes can also positive response. On the other hand, The first guiding principle of modeling display non-examples. These vignettes as children with special needs begin to is to use invisible support, that is, call can be used to teach children to acquire peer interaction skills they on the child who you are confident will discriminate between friendly and often reject the social overtures of their model the skill appropriately before unfriendly behavior and prompt peers and they seldom initiate play. calling on a child who will need more children to develop and share Using role-play and rehearsal support. alternative behaviors and solutions if strategies, there is a well-researched set Second, sometimes when children initial ideas are not effective. Second, of procedures for teaching typical peers are modeling the friendship skill in video clips can be frozen (paused) and to be persistent with their social front of their peers they can get carried children can be prompted to attend to behavior while their peers with special away with being silly or inappropriate. the often fleeting salient features of the needs are becoming more fluent. It is important to give the child another friendly behaviors and the context in Simply put, adults model peer chance and support so that they are which they occur. Children can also rejection, provide verbal feedback successful in demonstrating the skill make predictions about “what will (“That’s what might happen when you positively. This allows them to receive happen next” when the child featured ask kids to play”) and then provide a positive reinforcement from the teacher in the video uses a friendly or behavioral alternative that they for doing the skill. unfriendly behavior. Third, the very reinforce (“if that happens, try again” Third, because role plays typically format of video is particularly powerful —“good, you tried again.”). involve only one or two children at a in engaging and keeping children’s The buddy system. Often it is time, it is necessary to plan ways for attention. helpful to utilize a “buddy system” the rest of the children to be actively Similar to video, puppets are very when trying to increase the friendship engaged. This can include giving a engaging to young children. Since the skills of children. Right before a free- thumbs up for friendly behavior and a play of preschool children often play period children are assigned to a thumbs down for unfriendly; patting involves fantasy, puppets, in essence, buddy role, meaning that they begin themselves on the back if this is a join children in this fantasy world freeplay in some planned play activity behavior they do; clapping when the while modeling positive friendship with a certain child. In utilizing a role play is over; saying “ready, set, skills. Because adults are in control of buddy system there are several rules to action” before the role play begins; or the puppet, the puppet can always be a follow. First, it is important to always having a popsicle stick sign with a responsive play partner. The puppet can have two or more buddies for each happy face on one side and a sad face model friendly play, and when child with special needs. This arrangement helps to keep the play

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interesting for the socially competent prompt the children to reverse dramatic Conclusion children and it helps to create the play roles (“how about you be the mom Several thousand years ago, conditions for maximizing the number now and she is the baby?”). This can Aristotle suggested the following abut of diverse play ideas. Second, it is reengage children in the play sequence friendship— “who would choose to important to rotate buddies for several and lead to more lengthy social live, even if possessed with all other reasons. First, rotating buddies helps to encounters. things, without friends.” Based upon ensure that children have the Direct modeling. Another way to what is now known from longitudinal opportunity to engage in friendship keep children engaged in friendly play studies, it is clear that Aristotle was on skills with the widest variety of is to directly model desired behaviors the right track (Asher & Renshaw, playmates. Second, rotating helps to as a play partner. When teachers notice 1981). It is also the case that the vast avoid buddy-burnout, a condition in that children are becoming less engaged majority of children with special which children come to respond they can join the play group and needs do not develop friendship skills negatively to their helper role because provide specific models of friendly without thoughtful instruction. In this they always play with the same behavior. For example, a teacher might paper we have highlighted the specific individual. Third, one can optimize the join two children who are playing skills known to influence friendship at buddy system by pairing the most together and begin to share the the preschool level. These skills and popular and liked children with those materials available. patterns of behavior may be that need the most help. This type of Reinforcement. While it is almost considered as the scope of instruction pairing can lead to other children always necessary to reinforce children most likely to lead to friendship. We simultaneously helping their peers for their friendly behavior it is also the also describe a variety of strategies for because the “cool” kids are doing it. case that the proper use of creating a classroom climate Finally, at the end of a play period reinforcement requires ongoing conducive to friendship development. children should receive specific praise attention to several key factors. First, Finally, we describe specific strategies for being buddies Ð praise that timing of reinforcement delivery is for teaching friendship skills. specifically enumerates the friendly crucial. As long as children are engaged One of the struggles that all ways they interacted with their in friendly behavior, it is a good idea to teachers face is how best to allocate assigned partner. withhold reinforcement. While this may their always limited, always stretched Priming. Teachers can increase the seem counterintuitive, evidence resources. We hope that this paper likelihood of children using friendship suggests that adults’ delivery of successfully communicates the skills with specific priming strategies. attention to children at play can have fundamental importance of friendship For example, prior to a freeplay period the immediate effect of terminating skills along with a straightforward set teachers can ask children who they are their play. Given this fact, it is more of strategies to maximize children’s going to play with, they can ask what advisable to comment on children’s opportunities to live in a social world specific toy or material they are going friendly play shortly after the fact. where “everyone knows their name.’ to share, and they can provide practice When commenting on children’s opportunities. A practice opportunity friendly play, it is essential to describe References might include, “Hey Josh, lets pretend I the specific friendly behavior(s) that Asher, S. R. & Renshaw, P.D. (1981). Children am Cody and you are going to ask me you observed. Instead of saying, without friends. In S. Asher & J. Gottman , to play trucks.” Josh would then “you’re playing so nicely together” say, (Eds.), The development of children’s practice asking, with or without adult “you are taking turns and saying nice friendships (pp. 273-296). New York: prompting, and the adult would provide things to each other.” This descriptive Cambridge Press. Gurlanick, M. J. (1990). Social competence and reinforcement or corrective feedback commenting provides children with early intervention. Journal of Early for Josh’s social initiation to play. specific feedback about what they are Intervention, 14, 3-14. Suggesting play ideas. Teachers doing well. For many children, teachers McConnell, S. R., McEvoy, M. A. & Odom, S. L. can increase the duration of peer play may need to provide lots of (1992). Implementation of social competence interventions in early childhood special by providing suggestions or prompting reinforcement early on. Once children education classes: current practices and future role reversals. Expanding play ideas start to use their friendly behaviors, directions. In S.L. Odom, S.R. McConnell & can occur by suggesting new ways of however, teachers need to begin the M.A. McEvoy (Eds.), Social competence of playing with the materials, new ways process of slowly removing their young children with disabilities. (pp. 277-306). Baltimore: Brookes for dramatic play to unfold, and new specific feedback from the ongoing Tremblay, Strain, Hendrickson & Shores. (1981) ways of including more children in a play. The goal is not to remove all Webster-Stratton, C. & Hammond, M. (1997). game or activity. When a teacher teacher reinforcement, but to provide Treating children with early onset conduct notices children are disengaging from sufficient opportunity for friendly play problems: A comparison of child and parent training interventions. Journal of Consulting play with one another, he or she can in and of itself to become reinforcing. and Clinical Psychology, 65, (1), 93-109.

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