Euxm The Student Newspaper of Imperial College NolOlO 04NOV94 Boat House Blues

BY LYNN BRAVEY come out of the Harlington Trust Fund at all. Peter Mee, A multi-million pound College Registrar, told FELIX development project has been that the College was, "Providing planned at the Imperial College the support, in principle...to Boat House. persuade people that this is a The Putney based potentially successful venture." development will provide Lucy Chothia, Imperial improved training facilities and College Union (ICU) President changing rooms, a larger area for and one of the Harlington the storage of the boats of trustees, is enthusiastic about Imperial College Boat Club, a the Union's decision to support workshop and a small hall of the Boat Club plans. Speaking residence for students of IC. to FELIX she said: "The Boat The project has been given Club do so well, they won support by the College bronze at the Commonwealth Governing Body and an appeal Games last year." for funding to college Alumni, The decision to redevelop past rowers and industry is the boat house was made 'many planned for the near future. The years ago' according to Bill launch of the appeal is being Mason, College Waterman. He held back until planning told FELIX that the new facilities permission for the new building were desperately needed, one of is received. the reasons being a 'big increase There has been a strong in women's rowing'. The current suggestion that the project will women's training area has been be receiving money from the dubbed 'barbaric' by a member Harlington Trust. The Trust has of the Governing Body. 2.5 million pounds that is held Trouble may arise from the in a fund for students use. The Putney Society, a conservation money was originally raised group that recognise the David Trimble, Ulster Unionist MP for Upper Bann, spoke on Wednesday from the extraction of gravel importance of an aesthetically at a meeting of Conservative Students, writes Rachel Walters. He talked in from the Harlington Sports pleasing landscape. College bleak terms of the unhopeful short-term prospects for Northern Ireland, saying, Field. authorities currently need to "the peace process is essentially bogus." Despite saying that there were 'causes Each year the Trustees are convince the society that the for optimism' he spoke of the crucial period next Easter by when the IRA is allowed to approve the spending new building will not look out of said to expect major concessions from the British government. He predicted of up to £50,000 on student place with it's surroundings. It is that the irreconcilable differences between the groups will become critical. based projects. For grants higher hoped that the building work will start in May next year. than £50,000, a proposal must Q news pages one&two&three editorial and receive approval from the Mr Mason will be taking Governing Body before any sabbatical leave in the new year credits page three incoming page five the money can be released. Figures for 6 months following his s-files: virtual reality page seven cluedup in the region of half a million appointment as Head Coach for pounds have been suggested to the Great Britain Women's smorgasbord pages eight&nine feature: the the Governing Body. Squad. He stressed that although foreign eye page eleven feature: classical However, it has been he would not be at the club reported that College authorities when the appeal for funding was vs pop page twelve feature: all the peoples' being launched he was are only willing to approve up to playwright? page thirteen club+societies £350,000. They hope that money 'definitely not leaving' as the for the venture will not need to club was 'his life'. pages sixteen&seventeen standby pages eighteen&nineteen sevendayguide pages A Belated Happy Birthday from everyone at FELIX to Sir twentytwo&twentythree sport pagetwentyfour Ronald Oxburgh, 60 years old last Wednesday. D News Imperial SE Asia BY ANDY SINHARAY concrete proposal that has come forward ... It's not a pie in the Imperial College is considering sky idea." assisting in the establishment of Whilst some members of a science and technology staff, including heads of institution in Thailand. departments, were interested in Though the Management the project, some had also School has had formal links with expressed concern that Singapore since 1987, a new involvement with a lesser proposal, set up by a former IC institution would lead to a drop student, Dr Viphandh in standards. "We won't Roengpithya, is at a college-wide compromise our reputation," consultation stage, seeing Sellers said. whether it fits in with IC's Mr. Peter Mee, College objectives. Registrar, stressed that the Dr Timothy Seller, Director future of the idea was dependant of International and School's on the level of staff support for Liaison, said Thailand was the project. "The Rector is "rapidly developing with seeking as wide a reaction as enormous potential. I think that possible [to the idea] ... but it's the person who has made the still being talked about. It's a proposal is a good egg ... the idea question of gauging enth- is more philanthropic than usiasm", he said. As for the Mrs Elaine Taylor, Administer As Secretary to Professor commercial, but obviously it award of qualifications, it would in the Kobler Unit, died from Sayers, Dean of City and Guilds would have to make ends meet." not award IC degrees as "we cancer on October 16th. College 1984-88 and 19991-93, The idea has been around don't award degrees anyway ... She joined the college in she became a great friend of the for some time and is being and there's no suggestion of the January 1980, initially in the Union and of its officers, and carefully considered. "The University of London being Department of Electrical was well known throughout the Imperial College alumni are very involved." The intention, he Engineering and later of college. Her recent funeral in strong, we've got some big boys added, was to set up an Computing. She worked for Salisbury was attended by a out there [who are] very institution whose standards Professor Robert Spence, later number of academic, technical, prestigious people." He added mirrored that of IC, but the for Professor Igor Aleksander administrative and general staff that IC has already been whole scheme is "not cut and (Foundation Kobler Professor of and both past and present involved with a few Thai dried ... it could be picked up, it the management of Information students and Union Officers, and universities, working on staff could be dropped." Technology), subsequently there have been donations in her development projects, research The minutes of the Board became Head of Department's memory from several groups of links, and consulting schemes. of Studies, which has been Secretary in Computing and College staff to Imperial Cancer "This initiative is the latest and looking into the idea, are due to finally moved to the centre Research - her chosen charity. largest ... this is the first really be published within the week. Cognitive systems.

projects. Octel was one of He added that the idea that super them." FELIX spoke to Fiona unleaded was a super green fuel Unleaded Chaos Weir of Friends of the Earth who was the 'biggest con of all time'. said that she didn't "think the It is widely accepted that BY MICHAEL LUDLAM urgent inquiry into the use of transport committee should super unleaded fuel should be unleaded petrol in cars not fitted generally use advisers linked to banned. "We have no problems A Professor from Imperial with catalytic converters. It commercial companies." Ms on a call for a ban on super College has run into a storm of claimed that unleaded car fuel Weir stressed that if such links unleaded", said Fiona Weit, "it criticism this week for the produces much higher levels of were unavoidable, then they makes a lot of sense." evidence he gave to a Commons benzene than leaded. should endeavour to get a balance FELIX tried to talk to Select Committee. When FELIX contacted of people with outside interests. Octel but they declined to Professor Roger Perry, Head Professor Perry he stated that all The chemical at the centre comment. Fiona Weir said, "It is of the Centre of Environmental of his interests had been declared of this argument is benzene, a our view that the reason Octel is Control and Waste Management before the hearings had started. Class A genotoxic carcinogen. In pushing this area is not in the Civil Engineering He was more evasive when asked order to increase the octane primarily due to the UK debate, Department, gave evidence at the about his involvement with number, super unleaded contains but because of their concern to Transport Select Committee. His Octel replying that he was, "not more benzene, and more protect sales of lead and lead department is funded by Octel, a prepared to discuss that". He aromatics, which produce more additives in developing country company that sells lead additives continued: "we have a college benzene when burnt than markets." for petrol. The report, released where sixty percent of our normal leaded and unleaded Professor Perry's view is last week, called for a ban on income comes from industry, petrol. This was deemed 'highly that lead should be eliminated super unleaded petrol and an research contracts and research unacceptable' by Professor Perry from petrol and catalysts be used.

If FELIX 0101191 News and Editorial

have questioned whether an Ivy opposed to the 'basic principle' League was 'morally acceptable'. of the fees. Admitting that they Core Universities In contrast, Eric Forth MP, are 'highly undesirable', Sir a Junior Government Education Ronald has said that the College Minister, speaking this week at a might be forced to consider top- BY ANDREW SMITH Warwick, do still 'occasionally' NUS/ULU student question up fees if it came to 'preserving meet. time, said that he had no College'. He sought to dampen A five university core within the Speaking to FELIX, the problem which such a League. immediate fears of such a move Russell Group of eighteen elite Rector scoffed at continuing He continued by saying that it by insisting that he does not see institutions has been revealed rumours that an Ivy League of would-be 'difficult to prevent' fees as a possibility at present. this week. British Universities is being and suggested that an unofficial The Rector would not Sir Ronald Oxburgh, Rector planned. one currently exists. confirm whether any unofficial of Imperial College, has admitted Earlier this week, at the Also discussed was top-up discussions of top-up fees at to FELIX that the Vice- second meeting of the 'Aldwych fees with Mr Forth insisting that either the Russell Group or the Chancellors of the original Group Group' (student representatives they are not being considered by Group of Five have taken place. of five universities, Imperial, of the universities invited to the the Government. However, the He stressed that fees had not Oxford, Cambridge, UCL and Russell Group) some members Rector has said that he is not been an 'agenda item'.

decision reached as FELIX by King's College Student went to press. Rumours that the Union said that "the disturbing SOAS Clampdown Management Committee's atmosphere of the meeting led to decision will be revoked on the the decision to call the Police". BY THE NEWS TEAM whose attack on a bus in Tel- grounds that it is a breach of the Around 45 police officers were Aviv on 19th October killed 22 right to the freedom of speech, involved in assisting King's After last week's ULU decision people. As a consequence the have been leaked to FELIX. College authorities to disperse to ban all literature of the SOAS Management Committee This follows another the meeting. The fears of Islamic group Hizb ut-Tahrir, released a statement on Monday incident which occurred at possible disruption were there has been a further incident evening stating that "no Speaker King's College. On Wednesday reportedly due to the official at the School of Oriental and representing the views of Hizb 26th October, a meeting of the meeting that the King's Jewish African Studies (SOAS). ut-Tahrir, whether from within so-called 'Culture Society' was Student Society was holding at Last Thursday at a meeting or outside the University, is planned. Following fears that the same time. King's sources of the '1924 Committee' (SOAS's permitted at future meetings of there would be trouble if the claim members of the 'Culture Muslim Society) Faisal the 1924 Committee". The meeting was allowed to Society' had threatened to attend Muhammad, Chairman of the SOAS student body were not commence, the Student's Union and create a disruption. The Society and member of Hizb ut- consulted about the ban and decided to cancel the meeting for Jewish Society's meeting was Tahrir, paid tribute to the convened a general meeting that day. Despite this decision curtailed and the members were suicide bomber from the Hamas yesterday to discuss the Union's the organisers attempted to escorted, protected by the Police, Islamic resistance movement, policy on the issue. There was no restage the meeting. A statement off the premises .

(thanks Sam!) before the knowledge. Does the greater Although not directly related, the Computer Centre phoned to say depth of opera indicate a higher Independent today carried an eJiforiaL they could lend us a HP 4M! I art form or just an art with an article concerning the revised Laser Trauma and Computer think they deserve a big thank elaborate set of entry codes? At a role of the Special Branch in Centre Kindness you, especially in light of the bad gig, as Patrick saw, you are Rusky-free and IRA-less Britain. Welcome to the last bastion of press they sometimes receive. literally carried away. They are to redirect their the Luddite in the Cyberaged Thanks particularly to Mr surveillance efforts towards Technozone of IC (see s-files for Spirling, for holding the broken Loose Limbs protesters, activists and 'public details). This week the laser machine overnight and Mr Having been accused of disorder'. I won't even bother printer decided to add its own Brendan 'Bruce' Maguire for complacency by some after shouting 'Police State'. Just: if artistic embellishments as it securing the loaned machine. comments against police-bashing that is what they are going to do printed. Its style was abstract - I made a few weeks ago I'd like to with the spies then what are they big black smears down the Mixed Muses redress the balance by pointing going to do with army? Use them centre, presumably symbolic of I hope that some of you who out the latest idiocy to come from in the public arena too? It's the its snail-trail progression through usually skip the standby section the Criminally unjustifiable Bill. same thing and it scares me. unending roads of pages. will find time to read the Classic News Andrew Tseng & Rachel Walters Anyway, I'll have no truck with vs Pop article. The idea is at least Credits Photography Ivan Chan & Diana Harrison anything post-Impressionist so a year old but the writers in S-Flles Tim Parsons its days were numbered. None of question have finally torn Editor Owain Bennallack Seven Day Guide Wei Lee & Liz Cady our usual experts knew how to fix themselves away from the Printer Andy Thompson Sport Juliette Decock and Mark Baker Tim Bavister it but the Computer Centre said countries they love to sojourn in Business Manager Standby Jon Jordan Advertising Manager Helen Randall they would try and so off it went. another land. I thought the gig Editorial Assistance But wait! No laser, no paper! review worked better. Is there Editorial Team something inherently primal and Collating Last Week No paper, no FELIX! Luckily, Art & Literature Jon Jordan Ivan Chan, Isabel Castro, Jon Jordan heroes emerged from the therefore globally acquirable Cinema Wei Lee woodwork like glow-worms. about pop? The opera review Clubs, Societies & Union Piers Daniell Collating Last Last Week Charles Immel Firstly Sam Michel in the Union sometimes seems to have its Columns Marcus Alexander Features Kate Cox lent us his 300dpi laser which tongue too much in its cheek to Helpfulness Tim St. Clare, Steven Newhouse, Sam Music Vik Bansal produced a couple of pages avoid betraying its lack of Michel and Bredan Maguire FELIX PARTY ON A POUND All Night Monday - Thursday WIN A CASE OF & Saturday LABATTS ICE BEER FREE PRIZE DRAW ON TUESDAY NOVEMBER 22ND. JUST COMPLETE 1 COUPON & BRING IT ALONG ANY TIME BEFORE NOVEMBER 22ND

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Edited this week by Owain Questionnaire... CCLTs in News Response Bennallack, the Editor (!) even be a minority of victims of of drinks' at the RSM dinner. This worthy of worship) says in His final The Question? harassment? In my opinion, the has been confirmed by the C&GCU revelation to mankind, the Quran survey was conducted in a sexist President, the Mary's President, "O Mankind! Indeed, we have I am sure that most of years 2 & 3 manner and was, quite frankly, and the RCSU Vice-President who created you male and female, and saw the pretty pink (for girls) insulting to the whole idea of were present at the dinner. The have made you nations and tribes questionnaire on sexual feminism. If women are article put the RSMU in a very bad that you may know one another. harassment that appeared in continually portrayed as helpless light, and may well cause Indeed, the noblest of you in the victims then we will always be repercussions with College. common rooms last year. What I sight of Allah, is the best in treated as inferior or with kid conduct. Verily, Allah is the all- would like to know is why the We all fully support the gloves. Why should we be treated guidelines agreed by our knowing the all-[...]" questionnaire was only for girls. I as second-rate members of society. predecessors, and will continue to [Chapter 49 Verse 1 3] realise that, as a male student was In the same way, why should we make sure that they are adhered Islam can never be accused of expelled last year for this reason, it have special treatment? Please, if to at events in the future. racism, as Allah clearly states the was a topic on many people's there is going to be any more only criteria by which one person is minds, but in this case our surveys of this type, can they be better than another is by virtue of esteemed women's officer was a across the board. Charlie Bell their belief in Allah and good little misguided. Anna RCSU President actions. It may be surprising to No one would deny that Bio II Fiona Grandison note that during our 'Take a Look at Islam' week at the beginning of sexual harassment does exist and C&GCU President term, our guest speakers included women can be especially / thought much the same Vinod Fernandez an english speaker, two afro- vulnerable to unwanted sexual although I disagree with the RSMU President caribbean speakers and a french overtures. However, it is not implication that men 'suffer' equally women in general that suffer most speaker. with women. Several women I I have to disagree with your from sexual harassment, it is shy My second point is to clarify know have had problems: no men statement that the reference to last people, those who feel they cannot that the Islamic Society has no yet. Certainly, the only people to years article was 'tactless and confront their harasser, both male affiliation and nor is it a front for have been desperate enough to unnecessary'. News articles should and female. I am deliberate Hizb ut Tahrir. Both the Islamic ever hassle me have been male. But attempt to contextualise the subject discounting those women who Society and Hizb ut Tahrir consists your last comment is spot on. The and the comment was discretely view any contact with men with of muslims, the bond in faith 'victim' mentality seems to ghettoise placed at the bottom of the article. extreme prejudice. After all, if you implies that we join and propagate many minorities and thus If the article has put the RSMU in a look for something hard enough, whatever Islam deems to be good compounds the problem. What bad light then that is unfortunate you will at least find an and therefore beneficial to society does everyone else think? Anyone but we must report the news as it approximation of it. at large. fancy writing an article? comes to us. I personally support Finally, "Fundamental To be honest, I consider the your stance on drink-spiking and Differences", did not attempt to sexual harassment of men by trust you will continue to make explain what and why are there women to be far worse, as women Thorny Matter every attempt to prevent it in the fundamental differences between will not admit that they are future. capable of going too far, they are Islam and other ways of life, rather less likely to be punished for their Dear Felix, it attempted to paint a negative of actions and male victims of We would like to comment on Fundamental 'muslim activist' and Islam in harassment have to suffer in the article on the front cover of general. The Islamic Society has silence. Male students have no Felix 1009, reporting on the RSM Mistakes always been open to questions, men's officer to go to and their Freshers' Dinner. Two points in the dialogue and even debate friends, both male and female, are article in particular attracted our concerning all aspects of life. Dear Felix, less likely to be supportive in these attention; first, the reference to last However no-one can tolerate circumstances. At best, male year's accident in Evelyn Gardens, Upon reading "Fundamental unfounded accusations. victims should be flattered by the which was tactless and Differences" by David Cohen, I felt Yours sincerely, attention and, at worst, they are to unnecessary, and second, the it was appropriate for the Islamic consider it a minor nuisance. allegations of 'widespread spiking Society to comment about the Junaid Sheikh Nor do I think that sexual of drinks'. contents of the article. I want to Islamic Society Vice President harassment of women is Last year, as a result of the address two issues implied by the widespread. In my experience, accident, the ICU president and piece, namely the labelling of Thank you for the feedback when women are uncommon, they CCU Presidents had several 'muslim activists' and in particular Junaid. To be brief, the article itself are treated with deference, and meetings with the Deputy Rector, Hizb ut Tahrir as propagators of did not accuse anyone of racism: it what would forfeit any chance of a as the college were concerned racist ideas and indirectly linking reported that ULU have, however, career for the sake of upsetting a about 'institutionalised drinking' at passed a motion banning literature Imperial College Islamic Society woman? In my opinion, most Imperial.. A set of guidelines were which breaks its constitution and with the named muslim male harassers are either agreed on, which included that the Hizb ut Tahrir literature, in organisation (I have deliberately obsessive and should be helped, advertising guidelines and conduct their opinion, does. The FELIX not punished, or they genuinely at events. The Presidents agreed not discussed the other concerns author's opinion and knowledge of have not realised that they are that spiking of drinks would be raised in the article, for the sake of Islam shouldn't be relevant. Your upsetting the object of their outlawed at dinners, so that every brevity). photocopy of your letter you attentions. Before anyone reports person would be aware of exactly It is clear that the author is not submitted chopped off some text so someone for sexual harassment what they were drinking. At ALL well versed in Islam, for it is I have had to include '[]' rather they should at least try to tell their Freshers' Dinners, the hosts made untenable for any muslim than misquote the Quran. harasser to stop. You never know, sure that the guidelines were organisation to propagate racism, Letters may be commented on it might work. If Imperial College followed, and anyone was free to as such an attitude is in clear by a guest editor whose stop alcohol consumption at any wants to be seen to be taking a contradiction to the teachings of opinions are not neccesarily stand on this issue, why is it only point they wished to. There was Islam. those of the editor and cut due certainly not 'widespread spiking taking into consideration what may Allah (the Lord and only God to space restrictions. Deadline: Monday 6.00pm.

FELIX TfH I v * 7f-* ^ * . i 1 2m W """ JB iiiiim —iflfc '"v """Wwiiiiinmn —

&m QAV tile/ 6 til 0< y S) QA $)J>A/ 4994

The evening will include a full 3-course meal, wine, port, guest speaker, disco and bar. Tickets can be bought from Dep. Reps, or Single.£35 from the RCSU office in Old Chemistry. Double:£65 The S-Files lusions of grandeur: Virtual Reality Special DEATH OF CYBERSOCIETY JL

ybermdi IMAGINE THE EMAGINATOR

VIRTUAL REALITY IN THE REAL WORLD

In SScyberspace no-one can hear you type. And loneliness may be one of its Fourth Year Computing greatest drawbacks to lovers of group experiences, members of communities student IHichael de Luna's JL and, well, lovers themselves. For what is the use, as Alice might ask, of a six months in the virtual trip across the surface of Mars with stunning pictures but no conversations? Reality industry left him Species of group experience Virtual Reality [UR] are currently making advances on seriously enlightened. two fronts: in military simulations and in the entertainment industry. Neither, howev- Hilary forced some concrete facts out er, require that the user has anything but vile hatred for other humans who happen to of him. be present. Human intercourse is even absent in the seemingly benign idea of cybercy- cling - using UR simulations to make your daily stint on an exercise bicycle more inter- Have you used all the bizarre UK equipment you see in pic- esting. Wave to the virtual postman as you puff past! In the age of the office-at-home, tures? when we can access the world from our living room, we're going to value shared experi- I've used several head mounted displays, which use two ence more than ever. screens to create stereo vision. Some of them still feel like Cybersociety is gone to stay, for in the virtual world you're on your own. wearing a shoebox with the shoes still in it, though. I had a go with the Dataglove, which enables you to pick up virtual

tit Credits: Gditore Hilary ° Iconaid (latasha ° Pictures IHatt Blach ° Hypeaid c Dap farside objects while in SSimmersive DR. I've also worn a datasuit - that was really, really embarrassing because it was made of tight lycra. Do you think that UR will be as big as karaoke one day? Yes. It's not as portable as karaoke, although there are people working on portable UR. But I do think that UR will become more widespread through entertainment.

; i What did you think of Lawnmower Man? ,.:r;; >,'>,< i'H;ii'=rr\#WJ?fi';iK.^r;'^..:-i-: . . K .!;;.<':: I thought it sucked big. The graphics were crap and it gave a !.!..: .. ii ' ! i':;.,).(! very misconceived view of the capabilities of technology. There's an idea that UR sprang from the same people that were C i i i into mind-altering drugs in the 60's, and I get the impression !:.'.--:'< that Steven King played on that in the story. I don't think ..I .' you can expand your mind by being subjected to UR. : ' : " : ! !(< ." ! Will completely SSimmersive UR one day mean a convinc- ^The Emaginator has recently fallen to ing alternative universe? earth in the Trocadero, Piccadilly Circus. .:..!'! , " '. us Touted as "a white-knuckle experience I Yes, in the future. Considering they haven't invented a decent tactile feedback or olfactory technology yet, I think it'll be a ' i,' UU merging fantasy and reality", this sleek I long time before we even approach alternative reality. ronment using a glove or similar con- cyber experience is the closest that some should get to vomit-inducing roller-coaster rides.

-if|-;. ; :?v-:-,;js- Punters descend to a pitch black room containing pods tio't} whjd' Jilt < ,< which tip and judder in synch with computer-generated i ' i-i" images. The experience of accidentally falling through a Rl William Gibson Early examples include the red/green black hole in a space ship is not one you might expect Non-geek Canadian author of genre-breaking novel . . . ,i <, ": ii from an evening in the West End, but it's different.

'i.Sfisl^Hi^.i-:-.;!!-.-:..: i'Kii '.v< i: . - r~, fascinated techi. *odr ' \ - :--t rti« er sex, generally conceived as a body- ^".y-Hh:t t:fi ^fess:;- ;. pair c) -ih-.'-. ''ck~, „ .' fhroui ! . suit worn lo 'feel the touch" of a 1 CliiapBLM' t'ij i-ie Sirs; r.H yi\. , i p3 Ivan Sutherland remote partner as transmitted via the i n, ' : \> ':>"{ f whv-.h r.nyn (V,..y,v.-vi>v-iL!% ->> "ourse) ether. This is a long way in the future. "u.wj' i.tie ^{likftim sw-; its!" \;v J srnglehandedly created the field of human-centred inter-

!i i. :. : ! : . ; URcades UR on offer in and around London p3 - ...... ' Name Place Object Immersive? #Exo-Rex Troc Basement Fight your friends for freedom Yes a search for better cinema rather than better simulation *Dactyl Troc Funland Shoot the screaming pterodactyl Yes

t Nightmare ^Channel Science Museum Drive the chunnel train Yes :')-, com- Tunnel ^Emaqinator Troc Basement See review No '^British Gas Watford Branch Virtual kitchen simulation Yes

qnaugq FELIX HQ CluedUp

whom the receiver's bell doth not I was watching _ _ , the smell of

1 QCWTF CONTRARY 1-1 LJ toll? For someone who won't slap television, which & *\ t O jncense ancj tne Poor Jeffrey Archer - Although the on her first layer of foundation for is the perogative clatter of commu- honourable, clear skinned member less than ten grand, I very much of having no nion bells to this of the Conservative party is posi- doubt that Naomi Campbell's first mates. An air day. tively rolling in it, artistically he is novel will have much impact on stewardess asked I have always impoverished. After dicing with her coffers. What about the good this ungainly resented religion, bankruptcy, Archer pinned his liter- looking half of arena-packing looking chap Catholicism in par- ary colours to the top of the Best- Newman and Baddiel? Will Rob (or wether he liked ticular, mainly due sellers list within the first two sen- Robert as he now wishes to be boys or girls... to its effect on my tences of his 1976 debut, Not a known) Newman's debut sexually that is. mental heath, but penny more, not a penny less: Dependence Day see legions of He pondered FIST when people "Making a million legally has adolescent girls and angst-ridden this, and said "I like football, but I bandy words like sinister and always been difficult." Now come, males laying seige to Waterstones? don't play so I can't really call my pointless around in the same sen- come Jeffrey: Insider dealing? I don't think so. self a footballer, and if you follow tence, you know that they are talk- "Making a million illegally So if it's not filthy lucre that argument through, I can't ing about the Bible and Prayer-mat has always been a little easier." they're after, what are Naomi and really call myself a heterosexual people. It's all a big excuse to And here begins and endeth Robert's game? Newman claims either." cleanse the world of Kurds, or Archer's claim on literary respect. writing was always his vocation, Apathy in my eyes has which ever socio-economic/ethnic Is money the motivating fac- stand-up comedy merely a side- gained something of a raw deal group the oligarchy is currently tor in the world of popular fiction? line. But Campbell? Is she out to over the years. "Oh why are you so using to distract the masses from Are writers clutching their precious prove that regardless of whether or apathetic about everything?" they the realms of fact, and their gener- first manuscripts and bleating "I not the waif look is in vogue, she whinny; "Because we are all going al incompetence. (Las Malvinas had Costner in mind," as they dis- remains a well rounded supermod- to die irrespective of who had the 1982). It is no coincidence that cuss screenplay rights with el? I don't imagine there is much tidiest bedroom Mother, do you hatred and war follow religion Hollywood moguls? Indeed as a more than meets the eye where honestly think that life is a steady around like fleas on a dog, and in friend embarked on the painful Campbell is concerned. Except per- procession towards some forceable terms of world peace and happi- path to that first novel he reminded haps the ghost writer lurking in the goal that we should all try to ness I would suggest that everyone me that as "Grisham and Crichton shadows to transcribe her divine achieve for the good of ourselves just stay in bed and forget about it. are proving, it's plot and not char- utterances. and the rest of humanity, or some Be apathetic, because to that end you are unlikely to die in a hail of acters that count." Undoubtedly Ghost writers eh? Arguments sort of race in which we must all bullets. After all, what was the best true if you live in that creative about whether the Bard was accumulate the most possessions way to avoid the chemical sphere in which Roxette and Bad English or not pale into insignifi- before we die all fat and sweaty? weapons menace and other gener- Boys Inc are proving that it's tits cance. The pressing concern she used the one reply that she al military hazards imposed on the and arse and not music that becomes whether or not he ever would trot faithfully from the sta- soldiers in the gulf war? Not join- counts. slipped on the catwalk and flashed bles in such a situation. She started ing the Army was the obvious one. Big bucks seem a factor for his knickers to talk religion, and my bruised many, but what about those for Rahul and festering state of mind reels to Glyph

Across Down Guest Crossword by Sphinx I. Secured - ram against the edges 1. Bill is to jump vertically (4) (10) 2. Put up with showers? (9) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 6. First of all, division does seem 3. Doctor gets an arts degree for like sums (4) theatrical production (5) 9 10. A snake has firm support (5) 4. Recovers from being embar- II. Last month, a speaker might rassed and seem upset (7) To* 7T" have done some wallpapering (9) 5. Surpasses former favourites, we 12. The French forbid these last hear (7) three Middle-Easterners (8) 7. Discourage from a summer in 13. I sort out body parts (5) France to hearten medic (5) 7™" 15. Inspires raises (7) 8. The quickest way to the top, hon- 14 17. A noise results from an accumu- estly (8,2) lation of rocks in front of a 9. Standards of rice tea I brewed (8) 15™ 16 77™ 18 church (7) 14. Shuffled, counter to official pro- 19. Give love to bachelor and pre- cedure (3,2,5) sent watch (7) 16. Abstains in favour of teddies (9) 20 21 21. Have to speak French for water 18. What the locomotive enthusiast T~" at an estate (7) does, and what he gets for over- 22. Lightweight cat (5) doing it (9) 24. Require goat bile be cooked (8) 20. A little of what he got is mainly 22" 23 24™ 25 27. Ascertain and try to prevent a due to selfishness (7) charge (9) 21. For example, cello arrangement 26 28. £1000 piano (5) at a school (7) 28™" 29. Redhead worker has a fit (4) 23. Anyway, it's off (3,2) 30. One thousand single people and 25. Pledges to Germany over a long w nearly all are dispassionate (10) time (5) 26. Hero is unemployed by the 29~ po sound of it (4) iTiTiTM FELIX Clued Up Muzak Martyn investigates the failure of British music.

The fundamental problem with 'modern' British indie bands is that, with a few exceptions on the outer reaches of exploration it's all been done before. Those exceptions (eg, God, Godflesh and My Bloody Valentine to name some examples) are mostly brushed aside by the music press for being too far up their own backsides to matter. This only leads to our greatest innovators being ignored for not being a part of whatever bandwagon out beloved weeklies have decided to ram down our throats. However the so-called grunge explosion has burst out of a healthy U.S. scene and blown a gaping hole in the mainstream world-wide thus allowing in alternative bands. This has caused more innovative music to reach the numbed minds of the chart followers - the prime examples being Nirvana and Pearl Jam, and this will ultimately bring forth a healthier breeding scene for more overground experimentation. Could such a thing ever 10y arise in Britain? It is doubtful as too many bands are concerned with recreating the past instead of looking to the future. Not to mention the British music press' preoccupation with the past and unhealthy disregard for what could be achieved... Nevertheless the Beatles and Rolling Stones, who Nothing less than a great deal more attained a nigh on untouchable world-wide status that will probably never again be accomplished, were a good enough starting point for innovation that never occurred, but they lead We are the world's largest business and technology consultancy. To build to a decline to present standards where copyists rule the on our success we must continue to set the standards that others must headline. The punk movement took music by the ear and follow - in the quality of our thinking, the quality of our service and the proceed to make one hell of a racket. It had a wonderful effect quality of our people. That is why, when we recruit graduates, we recruit only those who can deliver a great deal more than most in terms of in Britain, but made little impact across the pond, although it performance and potential. undoubtably inspired the U.S underground throughout the 1980's and resulted in the Hardcore as well as the New, and to a In return, individuals who match our high standards can expect nothing lesser extent, the No Wave scenes. less than the very best: exceptional training; outstanding rewards and benefits; exciting prospects for career development to Partner level within Anyhow back to the present day, the majority of current a demanding and meritocratic organisation. U.S. guitar bands were influenced by such '80's forerunners as Sonic Youth, Husker Dii, REM as well as our very own Fall, If you are in your final year at university and are interested in finding out more about Andersen Consulting, please come to our informal presentation and bands such as Nirvana and Pavement pushed from what at 6.00pm on Monday, 7 November 1994 at the Imperial College Conference those bands were doing to develop to the present day where Centre in the Ante Room. such boundaries are still being explored. Moreover back on British soil our crop of 'top talent' seem to have forgotten this, For more information please contact the Careers Service or call our Recruiting Helpline free on 0500 100 189. so we have the beginnings of a stunted scene where the progressive bands are left by the wayside and those lucky enough to be pushed (usually by 'indie' labels run by a major label eg Hi-Rise in reality Virgin to which both S*M*A*S*H ANDERSEN and These Animal Men are signed notice who's been getting CONSULTING the interviews recently) are forerunners of a scene created by the music press for which the bands themselves should take little blame. This continual gaze into the past does nothing to encourage a healthy and vibrant U.K music scene. last week's wordlink answers

J A B S E S s i o N u A E O M M M A N 1 A C s P E C 1 A P A R O p E R R E N A p R A Y E R R E A L L Y 1 1 jj S A F 1 N A L E A J~ Z- 1 O L A G o| A|L 1 E N S D U P E_ L H o E E T E T R|l S S U|S P E|C|T|

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J Feature fORflGIthe I eye

Featuring excerpts from I'm not British. That in itself is point on a topic you knew you'd have had at least one-fifth of one the soon-to-be-published not surprising. The flight I took never be able to understand. I shelf of freezer space. I soon James's Hall Survival Guide to get here spent many hours was the only one in the kitchen. I learned that hall kitchens were over the Atlantic Ocean. I guess felt safe. anything but fair. that qualifies me as an overseas "Don't even attempt to master "Before setting out to buy gro- student. That too is not surpris- all the appliances all at once! Beginceries always check that you have ing. How does a foreigner adjust small and work your way up. Yourspace in the fridge and freezer." to the alien territory that all Brits first goal should be to successfully After rearranging the entire take for granted? Perhaps this warm up a meal..." contents of the freezer I eventual- can be surprising. Take College There were two ways to do ly fitted everything in. Few fresh- Halls for example... this in most college hall ers took the care to maximise Freshers' week was weeks kitchens: heat or nuke, the latter utilisation of available space. My ago and the free supply of wine, having the advantages of the Third World upbringing ensured cheese and crisps was fast run- brainless approach (just set timer that I was expert at this. ning out. The financially painful and turn on microwave) and "As students tend to carry out and generally unhealthy diet of using less crockery. their resupply operations at similar fast food was taking its toll. I was Happily the College Hall times, any space you may find may staying in a room in a hall of resi- starter leaflet gave reasonable not be there when you return. You'll dence meant to be self-catering. enough directions for locating need to reserve the space..." That is, a kitchen to be shared the nearest major supplier of Packaging - cereal boxes, with 22 other freshers who hap- packaged meals - J. Sainsbury's. cardboard cases for microwave pened to be living on the same Unfortunately the prices of meals, boxes for fish fingers and staircase with me. microwavables was prohibitive. burgers. Anything opaque and The typical fresher has lit- I'd be better off eating at the occupying lots of volume would tle or no cooking experience. I Union. The variety of meals that do. It didn't matter if they were was no exception. The hall come in cans was most enlighten- empty. That space was mine and kitchen was quite a daunting ing. I bought a saucepan and a rightly so. room to master, let alone enter. can of beans and sausage to start Some students soon found "For those with no culinary off with. Right! I'm ready to out what I was doing when they background it is easy to be put off bycook ! moved the boxes around. To rooms fitted with appliances which Most freshers reach this make the vacuous nature of the you are expected to use competentlyleve l of competence easily - after contents less obvious I switched the first time. For this reason, the burning a few extra layers of to using frozen wet FELIX. A kitchen is one of the easiest places insemi-edibl e lining onto their moist package of five or more which to make a complete idiot ofnewl y acquired saucepans. issues frozen in the freezer had oneself. The first hurdle is to enter "Cooking raw food - althoughth e same consistency of a frozen the kitchen. Make up an excuse..." this requires a bit more time and skilllum p of meat. No one would even In I strode with some bread the end result can be more satisfyingattemp t to unwrap all the layers to toast. Luckily I timed it per- and in the long run save money, in the vain search for that rare fectly. The kitchen was vacant. especially if buying foods in bulk."commodity , freezer space. The last thing I wanted to do was I wasn't prepared to make Becoming master of the to negotiate the entire length of a the 20-minute walk twice every hall kitchen became easier with floor occupied by one or more day to buy fresh raw food, so buy- each passing day. Few college groups of Europeans, discussing ing in bulk for an entire week students reach the stage where unknown pop-groups, alien seemed like a wise decision. The they cook most of their meals forms of recreation, or characters load of meat and frozen veg made from raw but I thought I had of some obscure soap. the return journey seem a lot conquered the self-catering chal- In such situations any- longer than 20 minutes but I lenge. Later the hall kitchen was where you stood made you feel eventually managed to hobble up to get its revenge in the form of like you were obstructing some- three flights of stairs to the the Freezer Monster, aka Fridge By Adrian J. Chung one from making some important kitchen. In all fairness I should Fairy. But that's another story...

emougq FELIX BQJ Feature

Momentary panic grips me as I reach the to the dense grey splurge roaring out of the door. Are flares in or out? Will they let me in speakers and up into my chest. I lift one foot without a goatee? But all is well and seconds and the sole tingles. later I'm groping my way down the drab black corridors of the Astoria towards the cloakroom. Here's the first big shock. A They're here for the pound? Outrageous. You'd think they'd be pleased to have my trendily unravelling perfect swoop of Sony a Barbour motorcycle jacket gracing their racks. Madan's nose The auditorium is painted black too. As Drugstore are quieter and have more to we enter, an amplified flute breathes and sails say, but they're not on for as long. Singer magically over the PA; a good start. There are Isabel woos the rebel teen faction, dragging seats up in the circle but it's standing only on her fag and swigging from a wine bottle. down here in the stalls. The tangle of lighting German pop from the PA, gusts of dry gantries and drum kits on the stage is almost ice... and a half-hour wait for the main hidden by an opaque screen. Retro 70s slides attraction. Echobelly's first chords transform are projected onto it, back to front and the crowd. For most of the first song I'm just sometimes upside down as well. trying to stay on my feet in the middle of the The screen^ rises to reveal the opening bouncing, swaying throng. It's impossible not three-piece, Thurman, who pogo and posture to be carried away by the spirit of the in the approved manner. But even their congregation, tossed like a fleck of dust, frantic, masturbatory slitherings up and splashed with a stained-glass ecstasy of light. Cultural Yobbism? Not me. Opera only down the fretboard make no difference Flickering backlights freeze the waving became popular with the rise arms, and a pair of feet flails of that most 1980s phemon- into sight as the crowd- enon, Essex men and surfing starts. Next to me, yuppies. As Loadsamoney someone strikes a match. A used to say. "Ah yeaah, we Mensch und mosh red spotlight glances onto luve the op-er-ra. We puut on one corner of the stage and arr penquin suits 'nd go to A mix-up at the reviews desk sends tintinthroug toh a veil of cigarette duff 'p the Pavarotti fans. smoke I see the band's black Hulio Eyeglazi 'e's the best," The Magic Flute while patrick wood guitarist glow, pulsing and For a clean living, indie fading like a hot coal. loving cartoon icon like me, breaks sweat to the sound of next If you haven't heard the the closest I've got to opera songs before, this isn't a very was Queen's 'a night at the...'. big thing Echobelly good place to start. But no- Well until last week that is. one's here for the music any The first thing you more. They're here for the notice about these opera people is that they "well done 'pete the dog', you set perfect swoop of Sonya Madan's nose, her copper skin are a different class from us indie-kids. The up those guitar stands with the poise and copper-dyed hair. The dip and catch of her majority of the operatic moshers were ofaPele". knowing voice is too often overlaid by a metallic dressed up to their eights in business suits, I'm still feeling uncomfortably sheet of noise. Last night all I wanted was to whilst those who I can only assume were the sitting in my plush seat as the curtain raises have my adolescence back. Today I'd settle for groupie crowd were replendent in djs or ball and out strides a topless figure with an my hearing. gowns. There was the odd mohican and piece obviously stuffed snake around his neck. of torn denim but I guess the orchestra get to With charming naiveity he pretends that it is wear what they like. alive by wriggling its body. Of course while Second shock of the evening. We're in he does this he's singing about being an all seater venue and there are big signs up attacked by a large snake, which is kind of which say 'the English National Opera advise appropriate in the circumstances. And then patrons that stage diving is only permitted the whole event becomes a sort of cod-opera. during the interval'. Oh, kill-joys how are we Out come three overblown ugly sister types, supposed to enjoy ourselves, by listening to decked out in mountainous blues dresses and the music or something? I start to air my beehives. Just a comic interlude? No, from feelings to the old soak next to me but he then on there's enough winking, stage hushes me down in plumy tones. asiding, ribaldry and cliched plotlines for What's happening now? Everyone has this to be considered akin to 'Carry on started to clap but as yet there is no-one on Mozart'. It's true, opera is nothing more the stage. Maybe some famous rock god of than a higher, if expensive, form of old had just appeared in one of the boxes? pantomime. Nope, apparently it was just that the Onwards went the convoluted plot, conductor had arrived. Very strange. which eventually ended up involving free- Clapping a man who doesn't even play an masons, evil rapists, true love and all that instrument. Next thing you know we'll be jazz. Did I enjoy it? Oh yes. cheering the roadies as they set up the gear; The Magic Flute runs at the ENO, 0891 440 693, standby student tickets are £15 FELIX Ye Feature Whole lotta Shakey goin' down DAHlingsU Arch-luvvies patrick and tintin schmooze their way through the

Barbican's Bardfest. 'Everybody's Shakespeare', a multimedia enjoy 'Whose iambic pentameter is it festival of all things Bardic, is taking over the anyway?', free in the foyer (Sat 12th Nov, Barbican Centre for most of 1.20-2.00pm, Sun 13th Nov, 12.30-1.15pm). November. The organisers have taken Actors improvise on Shakespearian the 'everybody' pretty seriously, and suggestions from the audience in scenes are certainly trying to include people veering (as this sort of thing does) between who don't actually like Shakespeare. the dire and the inspired. Lots of thees and There is a talk on Shakespeare's thous, and a few props including a skull for language buried among the workshops, the obligatory 'Alas poor Yorick' rip-off. exhibitions and free foyer events. But It's events like these that reveal the mostly there's no need to grapple with wider importance of Shakespeare today; not what for many people will be the as a great writer but as part of our culture. biggest turn-off: the text. Even the When a corpulent (male) actor says "I'm up plays to be performed during the the duff, Romeo!", it has an extra dimension festival - five acclaimed productions of humour because it's subverting a serious, from abroad - will, with one exception, established tradition we're all aware of. (And be performed in foreign translations, for an example of how this can work the other with surtitles. way, think of how many advertisers have Instead, the interactive sessions invoked Shakespeare to add the impression of are based freely on Shakespearian quality and depth to their products.) characters and plots. The trouble is This is something which a display in -a o that to get to them you first have to one of the Barbican foyers acknowledges o interact with the Barbican Centre, when it says, "If Shakespeare hadn't existed, it which is in the process of renumbering would have been necessary to invent him." all its floors. Hence the stalls floor is Which, indeed, is exactly what some people now known as 'level -1, formerly level claim did happen. Sir Francis Bacon? Queen 3'. You'd think there'd been an Elizabeth I? The latest computer-aided earthquake. research has turned up a surprising new While the workshops are mainly candidate for the authorship of Shakespeare's for children and teens, anyone even plays: find out who on level 0 at the Barbican remotely Shakespeare-literate will Centre, until November 27th. How to be Bottom There's more computer aided learning going We asked a random selection of IC students if they'd ever been to a Shakespeare play, on in the Concourse Gallery. 'Shakespeare's whether they could quote any of his lines, and if they thought that nowadays Shakespeare Bottom, a hands-on experience'? Some should give way to more contemporary writers. mistake, thinkest thou? But nay, 'tis merely that thou hast a filthy imagination, as this is Pat Watson, Biochem Mohit Jain from Biochem the Midsummer Night's Dream interactive PG, has seen Macbeth III has seen Macbeth. exhibition, more to do with Bottom the twice, "probably because Julius Ceasar and Pros- weaver than the Bard's behind. Dozens of I'm Scottish". Her quote pero's Books ("a bit too computer programmes enable you to do was "Friends, Romans, way out"), and his quote things like produce music from Shakes- countrymen, lend me was (altogether now) "To pearian instruments, cast a Puckish spell, your ears," and she feels be or not to be, that is the design an Elizabethan newspaper and make that Shakespeare is "still question." "There are so up a poster for the play. (We try this one: out interesting from a literary many other good plays," he of the corner of my eye I see an enormous and historical point of feels, "such as Death of a Shakespeare rampaging out of control across view". Salesman, which would tintin's screen.) Unfortunately there's no Marc Strieker from Chem Eng is planning better acknowledge today's atmosphere." facility for printing out your handiwork. to see his first Shakespeare Ilias Avdos, from Mechanicals, rude and otherwise, can play, A Midsummer i Chem Eng III, came up put together a miniature stage set, twang a Night's Dream, with with a quote from dulcimer and conjure sound effects from an Artsoc soon. He gave us Romeo and Juliet, exotic selection of percussion instruments. "Is this a dagger I see having been to see it on a We soothe our furrow'd brows with surf before me?", and he school trip. "It was OK, noises from an Amazonian rain-stick. a S0 believes "we should keep 1 #dHfeh. bit PPy; I could have The part children seemed to be up a little culture to stop , done with a bit more enjoying most was a curtain maze-cum-forest degeneration - look at all Mdk '; action! I wouldn't go out which they could rush in and out of dressed the McDonald's and in green capes. I don't know how much it was throw-away products ". fwK/?WL JJrc of my way to see teaching them about Shakespeare though. B

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each and every one produces a good essay and madman or something worse... but let us not application. come up with any patronising nonsense about who: Euro Youth The society meets every Thursday at 1:00hi ins being a great human teacher. He has not ChemEng LT1. left that open to us. He did not intend to." What: European Conference But doesn't science and scripture con- flict? The most apparent conflict stems from Keys: Podium, Pan-European who Christian making the Bible say things it really does not say and from "scientism" a philosophic inter- The 2nd Europe 2020 Pan-European What: Topless Speaker? pretation of facts. These interpretations are Conference distinct from the facts themselves. There is The Society for European Youth received an Keys: Money, Scientism, Jesus no such thing as total objectivity in science or official invitation by the Fontainebleu Youth in anything else due to the presuppositions Foundation, organisers of the very successful I usually go along to Rm 308 Huxley at people always make. There is no fundamental Europe 2020 Paneuropean Conference to 6.00pm on a Thursday. Unfortunately I was conflict between science and scripture. In fact form a delegation of 10 people and to repre- unable to make it on the 20th. I asked a science backs up scripture, but more often sent Imperial College to the second "Europe friend what I missed. "Well, the speaker took science gives us the know-how, but can not 2020" conference, which will take place in the his clothes off and gave away £50." After a give us the know-why. The Bible does not University of Oxford from March 18th to more detailed enquiry I discovered he had purport to tell us the how of many things, but March 24th 1995. The conference has been stripped to the waist. it clearly gives us the why's. described as "a podium for the Youth, a Being somewhat disbelieving I further So why did the speaker give fifty quid chance to take part in the shaping of policies investigated the situation. I checked with sev- away at Christian Union on Thursday? To which will affect our lives". It will include eral other eye-witnesses, and was left with the illustrate a point. No one was willing to satellite events for the participants, such as a option of believing them or finding some rea- believe that it was true, due to being so "Careers Fair" event with Europe-wide com- son for not doing so. For example was there remarkable. But God has offered us some- panies on the conference site (Jesus, Oriel any reason for them not to tell the truth? But thing far greater and of more value, with no and Wadham College) and also the award of why did the speaker take his clothes off? catch. It was an expensive point to make, but valuable scholarships to those delegates What was the catch with the fifty quid? then God's offer also cost him dearly. All we whose performance will be outstanding dur- Apparently none. have to do is accept it. It is the offer of a new ing the week. I later discovered the analogy for which beginning, living life to the full the way God Up until now some of the leading the situation served. The speaker was giving a planned it. On Thursday, November 10th, Universities across Europe, like Munich and talk about an extraordinary event with conse- come and hear a talk on "Life, the universe Heidelberg, Amsterdam (UvA), Barcelona quences of vast importance. This other event and everything" given by Gareth Williams, in (UPC), Dublin (Trinity College) etc. as well has far more evidence than Thursday night room 308, Huxley, at 6pm to find out more as Oxford and Cambridge have confirmed could afford. There were eye-witnesses over a about the answer to these why's. Come armed participation at the conference; the organis- period of forty days and at one time was wit- with questions! ers await the confirmation of participation nessed by more than five hundred people at from Bocconi Univ. Milano and SciencesPo the same time. However it occurred nearly Paris. 2000 years ago. But the evidence is still over- who Finance If one wishes to attend the conference, he whelming as it is so well documented. or she should meet the conditions for partici- "Both the authenticity and the general What: Asset Management Grp. pation. The application consists of: integrity of the books Of the new testament 1) A letter and a personal c.v. may be regarded as finally established" (quote Keys: Portfolio, Magazine 2) A supporting note from one's academic from Sir. Frederic Kenyon, a leading scholar tutor or Dean of Faculty. in this area.) There is no doubt that a degree from Imperial 3) An essay of no more 1000 words , type- Sir William Ramsay is regarded as one of College will greatly improve your chances in written and in English. the greatest archaeologists ever to have lived. obtaining employment in industry. There Applicants should discuss one of the follow- He observed the accuracy of the historical are, however, a number of students at ing in their essays: details of the writings of Luke and concluded Imperial College taking scientific and engi- 1) Representation of the Citizen; what part "Luke is a historian of the first rank... This neering degrees with a view to working not in should democratic control play in author should be placed along with the great- industry, but to entering the financial sector. European Institutions? A blueprint for the est of historians." It is for these students that the Asset European Parliament. Nelson Glueck, a renowned archaeolo- Management Group will be of most interest. 2) Social Rights across Europe; how far can gist, made the remarkable statement "It may The finance society is already well estab- and should employment conditions be be stated categorically that no archaeological lished at Imperial College and bridges the gap harmonised across the E.U.? discovery has ever controverted a biblical ref- between the financial sector and students. It 3) Europe and the U.S; Superpower rivalry or erence." is an invaluable point of contact between real global partnership? How closely should But what is this event that happened? firms interested in Imperial College graduates Europe and the U.S. cooperate on global That a man rose from the dead. And not any and the students. It offers a host of useful issues and how can this be managed? man, but Jesus. But who is Jesus? A prophet? events as well as a comprehensive magazine. The essays will be judged by an academic A great moral teacher? God? C.S.Lewis put it It is proposed that the Asset panel based in Oxford , who will recommend like this: Management Group be a subsidiary of the a list of candidates to be invited to the confer- "A man who was merely a man and said Finance Society, targeting its members and ence. If you are interested to know more the sort of things Jesus said would not be a using its links with the financial markets. about the structure of the conference and to great moral teacher. He would either be a The aim of the asset management group apply, come to the meetings of the society for lunatic - on a level with a man who says he is is to increase awareness and knowledge of the European Youth for more information. Don't a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil investment markets and hence no previous worry about the subjects themselves. We will of Hell. You must make your choice. Either knowledge is needed. All that is required is a work together on this and make sure that this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a genuine interest in the field. f FELIX OinOU9i| Xtra Curricular

(continued from previous page) the Rag Office tonight at 5.30pm. unsentimental look at the abilities and role of The objectives of the Asset Management Incentives government. We reject the obscure abstract Group are to gain and share knowledge, to Remember, all the money you collect goes theories of socialists that show no under- demonstrate skills, interest and achievements towards our incentive scheme, which this standing of human nature and that seem to to potential recruiter's, to encourage team year is as follows: £50 - IC Rag Mug; £150 regard the outside world as an experimental work and communication between members '150 Club' T-Shirt; £500 - Rag Sweatshirt; laboratory for their ideas. Only we believe in of the group and to organise specialised £1000 - Rugby Shirt; £1500 - Engraved a community of individuals able to keep their events. Pewter Tankard. The first incentives will hard-earned money and choose how to spend There will be five competing portfolios, arrive at next week's meeting, so get collect- it. each portfolio would be handled by a group ing! Our membership fee is just £3.00 and comprising a port folio manager and three or If you're interested in any of the above, please this will grant you free access to all of our four analysts. They will be responsible fol- come to today's Rag Meeting, at 1.10pm in the speaker-meetings at Imperial College. Non- lowing the markets and deciding how to Ents Lounge, or come up to the Rag Office any- members may attend if they pay 50p for each invest the money. They will also produce a time. event. This term we will be visited by our regular, concise but understandable report Vice-President Mr Matthew Carrington MP describing the current state of the markets and the Euro-sceptic Sir Teddy Taylor MP. and their effects on the portfolio. who: Exploration Next term we have Mr Iain Duncan-Smith Thus, members of the Group will not MP of Lord Tebbit's former constituency, only have the first step on the path to under- What: Tales of the Unexpected the original thinker Mrs Theresa standing some of the investment tools and GormanMP, the Cabinet Minister Rt Hon market factors affecting them, but by reading Keys: Conservation, Caves David Hunt MBE MP and the brilliant ora- all the other reports will be able to gain an tor Lord Archer. Also in the pipeline are Rt insight into the financial markets as a whole. Exploration Society was founded to promote Hon Sr Edward Heath KG MBE MP and Rt This whole project is still in its early stages interest in exploration of all kinds: from Hon Michael Portillo MP both of whom need and so we would be eager to hear any sugges- adventure to science and from mountains to no introduction. tions from anyone who is interested. underwater. The society organises a series of We also have a few visits planned to the For more information feel free to contact lectures, this term there are four lectures Commons including a tour to see various Michael Majdalany (FounderI Co-chairman) via planned; Ornithological (bird) expeditions Cabinet Ministers and drinks parties in the Computing III pigeon holes, or on email at (10/11), Underwater Ecology in St. Lucia Smith Square. Other social events include a mm2@doc, or Arif Vohra (Co-Chairman), Maths (23/11), Canoeing in the Amazon (1/12) and Christmas Dinner Party and an Annual III pigeon holes or va2@doc via email. Canoeing in the Cameroon (15/12). Next term Dinner with a Cabinet Manager. Our meet- we will have talks on Caving, Mountaineering ings are held on Thursdays in the Southside and adventure cycling. All lectures start at Upper Lounge at 1.00pm. We welcome new who: Rag 6.30pm and are held in the Clore Lecture committee members especially next term. Theatre, Huxley Building. Our newsletter "The Right Stuff is open to What: Rag Events, Rag Week Membership of the society is £3 which contributors. See our posters or our main entitles you to free entry to your first lecture sherfield notice board for more details. Keys: Incentives, Dirty Disco and 50p thereafter. We hold weekly meetings in southside upper lounge Monday lpm. Trick or Treat Contact Piers Rathbone Geology UG3 for who: Film Soc Last weekend saw another event in the Rag details. Our first lecture is 'Going on a calendar - Trick or Treating in Covent Conservation Expedition' with Michael What: Films this week Garden. On Saturday morning an unusual Poulson in the Clore Lecture Theatre, sight greeted the tourists, as a group of rag- Thursday 10th November at 6.30pm. Michael Keys: Father, Hero, Hillbillies gies, many in fancy dress, headed out for a Poulson is currently Expeditions officer of day collecting for SENSE. During the day we Birdlife International, he has extensive expe- My Father the Hero raised the staggering sum of £594 with the rience of ornithological expeditions in the This week ICU Cinema and Filmsoc offer top collector winning a bottle of the spirit of Philippines, Ecuador, North Atlantic, French you the chance to savour the truly interna- his choice. Polynesia, North and South East Asia and the tional side of the pictures. First up this week Rag Week Middle East. at 8pm on Wednesday the 9th, is My Father Don't forget it is only 7 days until Rag Week. The lecture will cover the following top- The Hero. This film first appeared as a 'little This is a whole ten days packed out with ics; Birds and animals as indicators of biodi- belter' of a French film called 'Mon pere c'est some great events including; a Comedy versity, priority areas for conservation, what un hero'. Gerard Depardieu reprises his role Night, a Rag Raid, The Dirty Disco, where is it like to be on an expedition, the roles of of a father who ends up pretending that he the less you wear the less you pay too get in, a NGO's and results of expeditions for conser- and his daughter are in actual fact lovers. Slave Auction, Britain's Largest Independent vation. Here at Filmsoc we have heard of 'keeping it Beer Festival, a Bungee Jump, Mixed Sex in the family' but with Gerard, it is possible Rugby, the Sponsored Nude Kamikaze to take things slightly too far. Parachute Jump and the Great Rag Bash. who: Conservative Fireworks The Beverly Hillbillies Tomorrow night we will be collecting at What: Introduction to Con Soc. At 8pm on Thursday the 10th we give you the Battersea Park, the venue for one of the best chance to see how the other half live by Firework displays in London. This is a Keys: Archer, Heath, Hunt examining the lives of the filthy rich chance to collect a huge amount of money Americans living in Beverly Hills. We can all while having a good time - as well as the fire- Welcome to IC's branch of the World's oldest associate with wanting to be rich but when works display there will also be a funfair and and most successful political party. The basic Erika Eleniak and family from the 'sticks' stalls selling all sorts of goodies. Anyone of our philosophy is simple and enduring - realise the ambition the antics start to wanting to do this collection should meet at only we are prepared to take a long, hard and become hilarious.

010U94 FELIX WM Standby

creative urges and limbs THE menu As we start the London Film Festival cha-cha, tintin checks out We've had a lot of recreated not so much driven by his how back to basics Mary Shelley's Frankenstein really is goulies recently. Bram Stoker's unhallowed goal as defined by it. whilst Magpie watches Loaded. Dracula was crucified into a post- He throws all away, including his modern love-blood story by the love for Elizabeth, to recreate life. This week's star turn is performed by Andrew Thomson of hamming talents of Francis Ford The point, however, is made too Computing 1. Take them away and give them a good spin. Coppola, Jack Nicholson lost the forcefully, particularly in the end thread of werewolves in the truly scene of total madness which twists It's album time. The Hamster washes his fur with special horrible Wolf and now we have the idea of the companion shampoo, tintin sniffs around the smashing pumpkins' Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, promised to the creature, into bside/outtakes and he/en-/ou/se goes horticulturally dodgy. courtesy of Kenneth Branagh. unnatural life in more ways than As with Coppola's Dracula the one. For all of Branagh's talk of A slow boat to Tripoli? Well Fiona goes down to the africa invocation of the original author's love, his Frankenstein becomes centre and the, eerrrr, charms of Funkin' Pussy. We have name in the film's title is always insane, to the point of inhumanity, warned you. cause for concern. To the general and there's little there of love. public it suggests that the book has Against the power of Dr Patrick wanders down to Sherfield and catches the dying been accurately translated to film Frankenstein, Helena Bonham- embers of the RCA exhibition, paper based, in the ante-room and whilst Mary Shelly's Carter's Elizabeth can only be Frankenstein is broadly true to the submissive. Ignorance of what her original, Branagh can not resist the temptation to throw in a totally superfluous end scene which comes close to wrecking the whole film and certainly does inflict a great injury to the central ideal of the original. Branagh might say that he wanted to use Victor Frankenstein's love to Elizabeth as a balancing force to passion for his work but in the novel that patently isn't the case. The film starts and ends on the ice-floes of the North Pole with the discovery of the raving Dr Frankenstein. Before dying he recounts his terrible story accompanied by the chilling howls of the creature he has created. You know the bare bones of the rest. The construction and animation of a creature, sown together using the raw materials of death and the newly discovered magick of electricity. "It lives" is the glorious cry which marks the fulfilment of Frankenstein's alchemistical search. And amidst the boiling flasks and husband-to-be has created, she Loaded is a British and New presumed dead and in the panic the copper tubing Branagh's portrayal finishes caught between the arms Zealand film which follows seven whole group decide to bury him in of Victor Frankenstein carries us on of a madman who has promised youngsters'as they spend a weekend the forest. in the breathless imperative of her his love and the hands of a making a horror film in a country The next day begins with the results without responsibility. creature who just wants her heart, house. question of what to do with Lionel. For the creature, as played by As a heroine she's just a cipher, a As with most new ventures, the The majority agree that Neil should Robert De Ni'ro, the fact that "it fact which not even Bonham- weekend starts with enthusiasm but report the incident to the police but lives" is the two pronged problem. Carter's mischievous use of raised slowly personal matters come to the as Neil sorts out his story the rest When someone says 'Did you think eyebrows can change. As an icon of surface. Then the horror film's script, decide to return Lionel's body to the it would thank for giving it this consequence Branagh's inadvertentently becomes a grape- scene of the accident. However they life?', Frankenstein can only gape. interpretation overplays her vine for some of the characters' are unable to find the body. At this In the pivotal scene the creature significance and that's the main intimate details, and so the weekend point the real film's events resembles questions Frankenstein in the reason this film teeters backwards of intended filming comes close to the plot of the horror film they were wastes of an ice cave. When he from the edge of greatness. That being a battle ground, making, and so the film ends with a asks "what am I?", you know it's said, it remains one of the year's At the end of the day's filming continuous shot of something something we've all failed to compulsive releases. Lance, Danny Cunningham, offers travelling across the forest. answer. As for the depth of, "do I The London Film Festival the group acid to brighten up the The film's plot is clear cut and so have a soul?", like Frankenstein opens this year on 3rd November atmosphere. As they start going few backdrops that nothing clutters most of us wouldn't even attempt with the premier of Mary Shelley's down Lance, Neil (Oliver Milburn) the plot. Anna Campion, (sister of the question. For all its scars, gore Frankenstein but it doesn't stop and Lionel (Matthew Eggleton) go off Piano fame Jane), has successfully and raging murder it's the creature there. Over the 17 days of the to buy cigarettes and food. On their captured the hazy atmosphere of the which is offeYed to us as a festival, some 180 films will be way back tragedy occurs when Neil countryside and the way all the conscience. shown, one of which is reviewed intentionally drives straight into characters' deeply hidden emotions Indeed if there is a villain, it's next. Lionel. Lance and Neil take Lionel's and personalities slowly come Victor Frankenstein himself. He's body back to the house where he is through to the surface. Q

FELIX Standby

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silver yieebe'e. y:,:-i. . r it's indie sJnv.r'i'd it-;{usfi:s :1;b-,x, :<., -;s,i, hal^rj b;r :: «1 :. ' :!:.:: . ' , I b II -lour. (g) tarty vegetable smoking This is where pop should be at. which is twinned to 'siamese folding ^ purring Shampoo's 'we are shampoo' is dream'. In fact you get the feeling cheap, nasty and shallow. that many of the lead guitar The africa centre may not be the Pink cd spines, 'imaginative' sequences present could have been obvious choice of venue, but the album names and mindless hooks straight transplants from 'silver- Funkin' Pussy crowd have made disguise a Blur/Suede/Pulp lyrical f***k'. it one of the (allegedly) hottest style; songs about romance - There are also songs which nights in town (could you resist the "tacky and cheap, now the cliche's make you wonder why they're name?). complete" - the joys of travel - there at all. For instance why DJs Hooch, Chris Johns & (top "throwing up your kebab, in the wasn't 'whir' grafted inbetween man) Jasper the Vinyl Junkie back seat of a taxi cab" - and sweet, sweet' and 'luna' on entertain a 'cool' crowd whose handsome strangers - "skinny 'siamese dream', to create a free- intention is not social but serious white thing, livin' in your own wet flow chill-out zone? Of course there dancing. The guys at the desks are dream" - give the proverbial finger might not be any particular reason deeply into the 'hot sh*t' they play to Whitfield-esque dance in a big and if there are that's why Billy & if in need of entertainment, way - "...supermodels' suck, riot Corgan heads the group. focus on the DJ box & see those girls, diet girls, who really gives a Still 'pisces iscariot' has more There's still time to catch the Royal boys move. Mm-mm. Not the than just novelty value going for it. College of Art Society's exhibition place for the uninitiated or those In a month or so you'll loathe 'blew away' and 'girl named Paper Based in the Consort who prefer up-tempo party funk, them with every inch of your soul, sandoz', for just two, should end up Gallery, Sherfield Building. More but real p (for pure) funk lovers but till then you might as well enjoy as treasured as 'spaceboy', 'rocket', than two dozen artists are need to be there. Only the a bit of fluff in your hifi once in a 'snail' and the rest. (7) represented and the pictures unintimidated need bother - the while, (top poo) 'Homegrown' by dodgy is the range from pencil sketches to door policy here isn't rich in warm Outtakes, b-sides, sessions, I second full-length album from a large-scale collages. The styles welcomes! The man-in-charge has love them all if they come from the band who are always being praised are pretty varied too, from eye- 'No' as his favourite word and ground where the smashing by the nme [who? ed]. Although crossing abstracts to School of helpful isn't his middle name. But pumpkins grow. You can even I've never heard any of their music Athena trendy greetings cards. then, what does he care, he's provide a stupid title, like 'pisces before this, I now know why - Among the more unusual running the cheapest Saturday iscariot' and I'll go along for the amazingly, they are better than items are designs by Ray Bradley night in town & he knows he's ride. Yeah this album maybe just a their hype. for stained glass at Southampton sexy. filler of odds and ends as the Despite suffering from a University and the Mean Fiddler. L Go, if you dare, see it, do it & pumpkins clean out their old worrying marijuana and computer- J Wood's boy's head studies also most importantly, get the t-shirt drawers but that's doesn't mean it's graphics obsession, which makes stand out, their depiction of (everybody loves that logo). not good. the inside cover look more like a mutilated flesh recalling the war Funkin' Pussy runs from 10 I don't normally have a rave flyer, they are definitely a rock etchings of Otto Dix. to 3 each Saturday at 38 King St problem with this sort of venture band. The album kicks off with the Among the abstracts, there WC2 (Covent Garden). Drinks are anyway. Personally I thought that jangly indie-pop of 'staying out for are Brian de la Cour's queasy priced from £2.70 for beers and the Jesus and Mary Chain were as the summer' and continues into 'Necrosis' and three intriguing soft drinks. good on 'barbed wire kisses' as eleven sing-a-long songs (I kid you paintings by Jim Field. Best of all * and now a plea. Any they were elsewhere. It's not a not - pick any track from the album though, by a long brush-stroke, serious music lovers who want generally held idea but the opening and I promise you'll be able to hum are the three gorgeous mixed- some clubbing freebies please line of 'sound of speed' proved it in along in harmony). If you have ever media abstracts by Clair Avery. come down to the FELIX office my book. rapped your foot along the 'Ice Shower', the exuberant 'Fresh and see me especially about doing And here on 'pisces iscariot', Lemonheads, early Aerosmith, the Water Trail', and in particular the indie, hardcore techno and hip after the nominal opening track of Beatles you'll love this seventies- beautiful swirls and splodges of hop reviews. 0 'soothe' which does that but tinged, laid-back, lazy rock 'n' roll. 'Player Bellota'. © nothing else, we are in territory Retro, but not out of date. (9) 0

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The Wing Chun Boxing Close Quarter Academy A decade of History at IC Combat Over the past 10 years we have done more than just teach self defence and martial arts. We pride ourselves in using our extraordinary Wing Chun Kung Fu :1/%E^k skills to help the less fortunate people in life. ~<1 Through our charity work performed here in the Union Gym we have had, the Lord Mayor of London, the Mayor of Westminster and the Mayor of By Renowned Kung Fu Haringay attend and witness breathtaking feats and raising thousands of pounds for charity. Celebrities and Teacher Sifu Andrew Sofos. VIP's have also walked the grounds of IC. Such to the extent that master Sifu Sofos was awarded "progress "The art of war is of vital importance to the state. It is a with humanity" by the Mayor of Haringay. matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. We have encouraged the growth of Scholarly work with our endless efforts to get students more aware, Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account confident, and set a realistic approach in tackling their be neglected." exams. We have also helped students through way of Sun Tzu 500 BC counselling how to deal with emotional upheaval and depression. "Don't neglect this marvellous opportunity for you to We have instructed "women self defence courses" free learn a practical and highly treasured martial art. Surely to students of IC, which again is in the pipeline. Look you life is worth more than £2.50 per lesson." out for further details. Why not join a winning team, Sifu A. Sofos 1994 AD with a reputation of great spirit. We will endeavour to find you the road to spiritual enlightenment through the motions of Sofos Wing Chun. Kung Fu. For further information come to classes at the union gym: For further details come to classes at the Union Gym Wed 1.30-3.30pm Wed 1.30-3.30pm Fri 4.30-6.30pm or call 081 885 4126 Fri 4.30-6.30pm or call 081 885 4126 Asset Management Group

Anyone with a serious interest in learning about the financial markets can apply. We are a newly formed society about to take on students interested in helping manage a phantom fund. If you would like to take part, contact:

Founder & Chairman : Michael Majdalany (Computing III, e-mail [email protected]) Co-chairman : Arif Vohra (Mathematics III, e-mail [email protected]) The FELIX STOIC Schedule week ending 11/11/92 What's the big idea then? Recorded twice weekly, WTBIT has SlElV E N DAY everything good television should have and more. Mel Brookes Interview STOIC comes up with yet another classic interview from the archives, this one being with the creator of Blazing SUNDAY MONDAY IllfSDAY Saddles and Young Frankenstein. fRIDAY SATOAY VMSDAY THURSDAY Red Hot Stoic 2 How to make pumpkin pie out of all the mushy bits you have left over after hollowing out your halloween pumpkin. ICU Rag 1.10pm Operatic Society 11am Operatic Society 11am Aerobics Classes Cathsoc 12pm Japan Soc 12-2pm GO Club 12-2pm As Seen On T.V. A rather disturbing short film about tv, for you to Rag Meeting EL (R) 'It came down from 'It came down from 12.30pm informal mass and lunch, Weekly meeting, Ante Brown Comm Rm, UB (R) watch while you're eating. Aerobics Classes Budleigh Salterton': Budleigh Salterton': Body Toning level I, SG (R) Bagrit centre, Mech Eng (R). Room (R) Aerobics Class 12.30pm 5.30pm Workshop, Union Concert Workshop, Union Concert Artsoc 12.30pm Yogasoc 12.15pm Roller Blade Soc "Legs.Turns & Bums" level Monday Wednesday Friday Advanced Step level IV, Hall. Hall. Meeting, UDH (R) Beginners' classes, SG, (R). 12.15pm I, SG (R) 12:00/6:00 12:00/6:00 12:00/6:00 SG (R) Roller Blade Soc 2pm Aerobics Class 12.30pm Tickets for Les Mis, IC Sailing Club 12.30pm Meeting for existing and Y.H.A. 12.30pm What's the big idea then? What's the big idea then? What's the big idea then? Sign up to saill SL (R) Times Skating and Hockey in Intermediate level III, SG Starlight Express and prospective members at Weekly meeting, SL (R). 12:30/6:30 Red Hot Stoic 2 12:30/6:30 Red Hot Stoic 2 12:30/6:30 Red Hot Stoic 2 Neville's Island. Quasar Club 12.30pm (R) Regular Meeting 12:45/6:45 As Seen On TV Free minibus service Hyde Park/Kensington (R) SL (R) Lunch Concert 12.45pm 12:45/6:45 As Seen On TV 12:45/6:45 As Seen On TV Exploration Society Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) home from union Gdns. Meet at SL (R) IC Wargames Club 1pm Motorcycle club 12.45pm Charles Ramirez (guitar) 1pm Photo Society 12-2pm Places building, 11.30 to 2am Table Tennis Rm (R) weekly meeting, SL, (R). Read Th, Sherf'd Bldg. Tuesday Thursday STOIC broadcasts to the All welcome, SL (R) (SG) Southside Gym Roller Blade Soc 2pm Meeting at Southside Quasar Club 12.45pm Yacht Club 1pm 12:00/6:00 12:00/6:00 JCR, DaVincis, Beit, and Careers Talk 1-1.50pm (SL) Southside Skating and Hockey in Upper Lounge (R) Quasar Trip meet at Physics LT2 (R) Princes Gardens halls of 'The Oil Industry' by Tony What's the big idea then? What's the big idea then? Hyde Park/Kensington Aerobics Class 5.30pm Sherfield Building (R), UL Parachute Club 1 pm Lounge residence. Shaw. LT 213, Huxley. 12:30/6:30 Mel Brookes 12:30/6:30 Mel Brookes Gdns. Meet at SL (R) Beginners level I, SG (R) IC Wargames Club 1pm Table Tennis Room, UB (R) (UB) Union Building Careers Talk 1-1.50pm Interview Interview Concert Band 5.45pm Table Tennis Rm (R) Conservative Club lpm (UDH) Union Dining 'The Actuarial Profession', At other times of the day, STOIC will show the One O'clock News, Neighbours, Rehearsal. Open to Aerobics Classes Meeting, SL (Upper) (R) Hall players of any ability, Maths LT 140 1.15pm Lecture 'Pulsars' 1pm (UG) Union Gym Star Trek : TNG Mtv, and will show 'The Muppet Show' to the JCR at lunchtimes if Great Hall (R) Circus Skills Soc 5-8pm Beginners/Inter, level I I, Physics Level 1. (UL) Union Lounge requested. Features currently in production include: IC Dance Club 6pm Come, learn to juggle! SG (R) Careers Talk 1-1.50pm (EL) Ents Lounge Rock and Roll, UDH (R) Table Tennis Rm UB (R). Inside Out A deep and searching documentary into something or other... Ten Pin Bowling 2.15pm 'Consultancy in Mech (JCR) Junior Common DJ Try out session 6pm Aerobics Class 5.30pm meet outside Aero to go Eng', LT213, Huxley. The Hamster Christmas Carol, Piers & Bruce let you inside their minds. Danger! All prospective college DJs Advanced level IV, SG (R) Room bowling (R). Aerobics Class 5.30pm Dan's Guide to the Internet, How to make the network of networks work for you. welcome (enq. Luke ext IC Dance Club 6pm (SMHMS) St. Mary's Intermed. level 3, SG (R) 55378), EL. beginners, JCR (R) Careers Course 2-4pm If you are interested in television in any shape or form, or merely want to make a Wine Tasting Soc 6pm 'Positive Applications - Christian Union 6.30pm programme and don't know how, come up and see us on the top floor of the union IC Chess Club 6.30pm £5, £4 UDH (R) how to deal with the Huxley 308 (R) Blitz Tournament, SCR. DramSoc 6.30pm selection process' Sign up Leonardo Society 6.30 building, or you can call us at any time, on (0171 59)4 8104. Operatic Society 7.30pm Meeting, UB (R) in Careers Office. Civ Eng Rm 101 (R) SMALL ADS All submissions for the Seven Day Guide must be 'It came down from Leonardo Society Jazz Dance Soc 3.30pm Exploration Soc 6.30pm Coming Soon On STOIC: Budleigh Saltherton', 6.30pm Dance class in SG (R) 'the role of the conser- Careers Office given in by 6pm on the Friday before the week of Performance & party, Aerobics Classes 5pm vation expedition', Clore Rm 310, 10.00am- THE DEFINITIVE CLUB GUIDE Union Concert Hall. Civ Eng Rm 101(R) 5.15pm, Mon to Fri Step level III, SG (R) IC Dance Club 7pm STOIC is The Student Television Of Imperial College publication. (Not including those which have (R) Opsoc 7.30pm Opsoc 7.30pm Science Poetry Reading Beginners, JCR (R) Free cycle coding Rehearsal for Cabaret in Rehearsal for Cabaret in at the end of the entries - the submissions will 5.30pm Jazz Big Band 7-10pm 14th-18th Nov, 10am- UDH (R) Mech Eng 342 (R) 'This Excellent Machine' Table Tennis Rm (R) 4pm Canoe Club 7.30pm automatically entered for you). Admission free by ticket IC Chess Club 7pm Postgraduates Sports Centre pool, any from Janet Smith (48812) 2nd Team match, SCR. Mathematical Advice level of ability, (R) Haldane Collection, Motorcycle club 7.30pm Centre Helpline Chess Club 7.30pm Filmsoc Presents... Central Lib SL, meet for bike run Ext 48533,Dr. Geoff lst team match, SCR (R) around London, (R) Stephenson, Maths Dept. Art Soc 7.30pm Chess Club 6.30pm Ladies' Football 8.30pm Experienced racket When you're falling in love for the first time, The Queen & I. Club night, SCR (R). Training, contact Union restringing Caving Club 9pm the last thing you need is for your father to be a hero. office pigeon hole, UG (R) ...at affordable prices. Meeting SL (Upper) (R) J.Y.LIM (rm 227) Chem GERARD DEPARDIEU Eng. ext 55680.

Speed The Lion King Mary Shelley's Forrest Gump L'Enfer My Father the Hero The Beverly Hillbillies Frankenstein fLSfWtlfRf Odeon Kensington MGM Chelsea MGM Fulham Road Chelsea Cinema ICU Cinema ICU Cinema cmmfi 0777 377 3766 0777 352 5096 Odeon Leicester Sq 0777 370 0265 0777 357 3742 Union Building Union Building Faiher tube; Kensington High St. tube; Sloane Sq 0426 975 683 tube; S. Ken and take bus tube; Sloane Sq 0777 594 8098, x48098 0777 594 8098, x48098 'the haunted screen', a 1.25, 4.10, 6.55, 9.40. 12.50, 3.00, 5.10, 7.25 tube; Leicester Sq 12.30, 3.25, 6.20, 9.20 1.55, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 doors; 7.45pm doors; 7.45pm forum on gothic and The tickets; £6, £5.50, lst perf vampiric cinema and tv, Hero Late Fri & Sat 12.25 tickets; £6, Mon-Fri 12.20, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 tickets; £6, Mon-Fri tickets; £2 or £1 for tickets; £2 or £1 for before 6pm & students tickets; £7-£9, cones £4- before 6pm & students £4 cones 2.50 running as part of the tickets; £6.50, £6, before film/ents card holders film/ents card holders >s:n:;:cd Si; SL t>>. \ :N~TSY\7:CVU. il K I.NO-.J : Ci't FILMS. S \ 5pm £3.50 £3.50 £6 £3.50 Gothic and Vampire festival; £2.50, Friday, 7pm, at The Studio, 28 Jesus Lizard Wednesday 9th At 8pm Prodigy Sub-Pop Bonfire Night Tom Robinson + Slayer Stereolab Beckenham Rd, Blow Out: Jackie Levan + Machine Head OT87 663 0103 The Forum Fabric + Ligament + Wat The Forum LA2 nusic tube; Kentish Town Tyler + Hood + Joeyfat + Union Chapel Nothing worth going to tube; Kentish Town tube; Tottenham Crt Rd. Brixton Academy London to Brighton doors; 7.30pm 0777 284 2200 Emperor Julian tube; Highbury & Islington hear tonight. Stay home tube; Brixton doors; 7pm Veteran Car Run. They tickets; £8 9pm till 2 am doors; 7.30pm and drink warm milk for a doors; 7pm tickets; £7 start in Hyde Park at tickets; £10 Dublin Castle tickets; £6 cones change tickets; £11 7.30am and hopefully get tube; Camden Town down to Brighton doors; 7pm byl 0.30am. Bo is running tickets; £4 as usual, see C&G for details of their coach etc, The Romantic Spirit Portrait of My Mother Photographs on James McNeill Whistler sunday. Exhibition: 'Paper Rebecca Horn, sculptor, Fear of God, by John 'humour' Based' Consort Gallery performance artist and Keane Tate 'Stop the Grant Cuts' Thursday 10th At 8pm Hayward Institut Francois film director APIS Millbank SW11 demo. Meet Battersea Imperial College South Bank SE1 17 Queensberry Place SW7 Photfusion Riverside, Crisp Road W6 0777 267 0727 0777 589 627 7 17a Electric lane SW9 0777 887 8000 Park midday for march to Doors open 15 minutes before time stated. tube; South Kensington Serpentine 0781 747 2257 ICU Cinema is no smoking but drinks from Da Vinci's bar are welcome- E&OE; ROAR tube; South Kensington 0777 738 5774 tube; Pimlico Hyde Park; Wednesday. Mon-Fri 10am-7pm tube; Waterloo Kensington Gardens W2 tube; Hammersmith tube; Brixton Mon-Sat 10am-5.50pm Sat-Sun 10am-5pm daily 10am-6pm Mon-Fri 9am-7pm 0777 402 0343 Tue-Sat 9.30am-9pm £M ABuy an ICU Film Card & save 50% on 1994-95 entry. JC*| Film Card Sat 12noon-4pm Tue-Fri 10.30am-5.30pm Sun 2-5.50pm until 6th Nov Tue & Wed until 8pm bus; 9, 10, 12, 52 & 94 Nov 8 until Dec 3 t I w You get your first film free but bring a passport photo. S» Iholder s entry; £6 Sat 12noon-4pm entry; £5, cones £3 Free Free JpO Other IC or ULU JP*O \ Accompanied guests and stustudenti s who T+Mm students & staff. E»E»w wcanno cannot shot wsho uniow nunio / swipn / eswip cared

FELIX is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board. It is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince 022 FELIX 04I10U94 FELIX Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 0171 594 8072, Fax: 0171 589 4942). Editor: Owain Bennallack. Copyright FELIX 1994. ISSN 1040-0711 Sporl

Rugby Sport IC Team Score Opposition Hockey Badminton Ladies 6 - 3 RHBNC w IC Men lstvs RHBNC QH IC 1 st XV vs RHBNC LH Basketball Men 85 - 76 QMW Football Ladies 2 - 0 Charing Cross We flew into the lead when "Rent The game started at a furious 1 Boy" easily converted a third pace, with both teams keen to Football Men 1st 2 - 1 QMWC 1st minute penalty. They equalised exploit any chances. Hockey Indoor Men 3 - 0 Old Creights soon after, thanks to their NZ Early forward pressure by N international, and there were RHBNC was rewarded by a try. Hockey pndopr Men 4 -3 Hounslow many missed chances at both IC, incensed by this, advanced tin. Hockey Men 2nd 1 - 0 RHBNC ends. The second half was a filthy ball well into RHBNC's territory. N affair and in the last ten minutes This was sustained until Mark Hockey Men 3 rd 2 - 0 RHBNC our chances of qualifying were Wishart finally broke the Rugby 2nd XV 17-8 RHBNC lost when their international deadlock and scored. E popped two more in. Our legs In second half IC lost their Rugby RSM 1st 36-10 RHBNC were too knackered to fight back. attacking edge allowing RHBNC Tennis Men 4 - 2 RHBNC to pull away by capitalising on R ICMen 2nd vs RHBNC 0 chances. Ten Pin Bowling 6 - 4 Essex Volleyball Men 3 - 1 Brunei Following on from a convincing IC 2nd XV vs RHBNC 0 s win against QMW in which James Volleyball Men 3 - 1 UCL it * ^ Cooper scored a hat-trick, IC After three near misses IC finally L Football Ladies 0 - 3 RHBNC came up against a strong managed to secure a victory Hockey Men 1st 1 - 3 RHBNC Holloway side. Pressure in the O against RHBNC in a thrilling second half led to a penalty flick Hockey Ladies 1st 1 - 0 RHBNC encounter. S which Toby Rolph converted. In Down 3-0 at half time and IC Hockey Ladies 2nd 4 - 0 RHBNC the latter stages another flick was E stormed into the second half. missed but IC held on for the win, Netball Ladies 17 - 22 RHBNC Tries by Simon Fuller and Jamil R qualifying for the next round. complemented by a penalty and 2 S Rugby 1st XV 5 - 16 RHBNC conversions by G. Williams saw didn't justify ahe performance but ICMen 3rd vs RHBNC L* IC through to a victory. Football Imperial were happy as they A glorious display of goals and maintain the only 100% record in glaring misses kept the band- Basketball 0 IC vs Charing Cross /Westminster 0 the premii « i >|.

wagon rolling for us. IC taw QMW >4i»H «%< mi Despite chances, neither Initially we could not finish the Netball HI team took advantage in the first We still haven't had a proper team runs and score. That was until IC lote vs RHBNC half. This was helped by an practice and we didn't have a full Maryam passed to Eleanor who excellent save by Stuart McTavish team. Our guys were hungry and scored to put us in the lead. The The match was clos> ' contested and solid defending by the back hung-over, and didn't appreciate beginning of the second half was from the start. We wei i slow to four. Overwhelming domination QMWs cocky attitude in the inconclusive. Then on one corner, gain momentum and they went of the second half resulted in two . changing room. So, we started off a defender from Charing Cross ahead, but by the end of the third goals for Richard Brunt, with a 10-0 lead and never really stuck her arm out at the ball in quarter we managed to get within confirming our place in the looked back. Once again our the box, giving the Dribblers a 2 points of them. This was due to knockout stage of the BUSA defence was lacking and we penalty. Helen took the shot, accurate shooting and tight competition. Keep it up lads. almost set a new team club record scored and we were 2-0 up! We ' pefence. It was a very physical in fouls. Luckily, the referees recorded our first win of the "match with both teams fighting IC Indoor Men 1 st vs Hounslow 0 didn't understand Greek, and we season and secured a place in the I for possession (almost literally!). managed to control the game. 2nd round of the cup, though we The real success was that we all IC inspired by Captain Kim QMW were foolishly don't have a specialist keeper. kept our tempers, despite the lack Jabbams leadership played hard desperate and fell to pieces in the Thanks to those who played. to gain a lead, with goals from last minutes. This season looks of umpires. Mark Robertson and Chris Brock. bright, but we haven't played our ICmen Ist vs QMWC Ist 0 Inevitably Hounslow scored, best by far. Ten Pin Bowling making it 2-1 at half-time, and We got off to a bad start, letting in levelled early in the second half. a goal in the first five minutes and ICvs Essex 0 Chris slotted in another goal, but Badminton 0 losing Ritch Craig after a clash of Hounslow equalised again. Chris IC Ladies vs RHBNC heads. The equaliser came when We kicked off to a superb start scored, and frantic defending kept She Olambala battled his way this season with a victory over us in the lead for the last few Once again, in less than an hour, through a defender, allowing Dan Essex. After a shaky start the minutes. Goal keeper Lee the IC Ladies Badminton squad Lourdea to score. It wasn't until entire team rallied to a nail-biting Maartensz, and central defenders obliterated the opposition to halfway through the second half last game victory. Special Toby Rolph and Damon Dupont retain their 100% UAU record. that Imperial went ahead: a cross mentions go to Ben Wall who gave outstanding performances. With only LSE remaining they from Mike Jarvis was met by a bowled a series of 530, Phil West But an excellent team effort should top the league. The losing header from Dan Lourdea. When for his moral boosting 221 and enabled us to topple one of games were forgone to lack of QMW moved forward, the defence Rachel Tay for keeping up her Hockey's finest. court time. Well done girls!! held tight. At the end, the result usual excellent standard.

EH FELIX (MI0U94