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PAGE 8 (828) 251-1333 HOLDING fax (828) 251-1311 THEIR BREATH news tips & story ideas to Local hemp growers hold their [email protected] breath while state lawmakers and law enforcement agencies struggle to get letters/commentary to a handle on the hazy legal nuances of [email protected] regulating the new industry. On the sustainability news to cover: Libby Meier examines some [email protected] dried hemp flowers. a&e events and ideas to COVER PHOTO Laura Hackett [email protected] COVER DESIGN Scott Southwick TUNNEL VISION events can be submitted to [email protected] or try our easy online calendar at MOUNTAINX.COM/EVENTS food news and ideas to FEATURES [email protected] HUMOR wellness-related events/news to BUTTON [email protected] 14 WORKFORCE BEHIND business-related events/news to THE WORKFORCE [email protected] Buncombe County faces a lack of venues with upcoming shows NEWS affordable, accessible child care [email protected] get info on advertising at [email protected] 27 GOING BIG place a web ad at New HCA execs tout initial [email protected] growth, promise continued investment for Mission Health question about the website? [email protected] WELLNESS find a copy of xpress 30 GUIDE TO CLIMATE [email protected] RESILIENCE 5 LETTERS 5 CARTOON: MOLTON Asheville unveils resource for residents WWW.MOUNTAINX.COM concerned about climate change 7 CARTOON: BRENT BROWN GREEN FACEBOOK.COM/MOUNTAINX 8 NEWS 16 BUNCOMBE BEAT follow us 24 ASHEVILLE ARCHIVES @MXNEWS, @MXARTS, @MXEAT, 34 BUSINESS TO GO 25 COMMUNITY CALENDAR @MXHEALTH, @MXCALENDAR, Some food and beverage brick- 27 WELLNESS @MXENV, @MXCLUBLAND and-mortars move to mobile 30 GREEN SCENE
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4 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM OPINION Send your letters to the editor to [email protected].
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PUBLISHER: Jeff Fobes
ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER: Susan Hutchinson
MANAGING EDITOR: Virginia Daffron
A&E EDITOR: Alli Marshall
FOOD EDITOR: Gina Smith FRANNY’S FARM GREEN SCENE EDITOR: Daniel Walton - FRANNY’S OPINION EDITOR: Tracy Rose FARMACY STAFF REPORTERS: Able Allen, Edwin Arnaudin, Thomas Calder, Laura Hackett, Brooke Randle, Daniel Walton
COMMUNITY CALENDAR EDITOR: Deborah Robertson
CLUBLAND EDITOR: CARTOON BY RANDY MOLTON Lauren Andrews MOVIE SECTION HOSTS: Edwin Arnaudin, Bruce Steele so far along in my years, I’d sell and move TDA needs to listen farther out. CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: So, yes, Mr. Karvir, there is such a thing Peter Gregutt, Rob Mikulak to concerns as going too far. And you need to heed REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS: these complaints and concerns. Tourism Mark Barrett, Leslie Boyd, You know. When someone says it’s all adds a lot of wear to Asheville’s stressed Abigail Griffin, everyone else’s negativity and claims zero infrastructure. And yet I see busted-up Bill Kopp, Cindy Kunst, accountability for complaints, that’s a sidewalks and horrible potholed roads Jeff Messer, Joe Pellegrino, pretty big red flag right there. After read- go unfixed for years. Tourists act like Kim Ruehl, Luke Van Hine, Kay West ing Himanshu Karvir’s little rant [“On they can jaywalk anywhere they please ADVERTISING, ART & DESIGN MANAGER: the Defensive: TDA Board Members React without regard to traffic. And tourism has Susan Hutchinson to Criticism,” Nov. 27, Xpress] ... my first caused the popularity of Asheville to soar. LEAD DESIGNER: thought is: What a crybaby. Forcing out residents as cost of living Scott Southwick I have lived near Asheville and called shoots skyward, but measly service-job it home now for nearly four decades. I pay that the industry provides remains GRAPHIC DESIGNERS: loved it when I moved here. Yes, down- stagnant. It’s absolutely a factor. And to Norn Cutson, Olivia Urban town was mostly dead. But there was a say it’s all good and none bad just makes MEMBERSHIP AND vibrant community here. I was happy to you a shill. This kind of denial of how DEVELOPMENT COORDINATOR: see the turnaround as old buildings were tourism has negatively impacted people Laura Hackett renovated and cool shops and restaurants who live here will only infuriate them MARKETING ASSOCIATES: sprouted up. Buskers and colorful events more. Sara Brecht, Bryant Cooper, Brian Palmieri, gave the city a spark. It’s always been a Instead Mr. Karvir (and all the TDA) Heather Taylor, Tiffany Wagner MOSTLY tourist-based economy. need to listen to these concerns. And OPERATIONS MANAGER: But as more and more posh hotels understand why people are pissed. And Able Allen AUTOMOTIVE sprouted up, rent hikes forced out the acknowledge that they are very legitimate small businesses or forced them to hike concerns and not just blow them all off INFORMATION TECHNOLOGIES & WEB: prices and target the well-to-do; infra- with “tourism is all good and nothing Heather Brown, Bowman Kelley INC. structure is utterly maxed out; homeless bad.” What BS! BOOKKEEPER: people pushed out of sight; and liter- — Troy Amastar Amie Fowler-Tanner Alexander ally the whole wonderful feel of the city ADMINISTRATION, BILLING, HR: moved into a fake simulation of what Able Allen, Lauren Andrews used to be — yeah, I no longer care to DISTRIBUTION: dine, shop or hang out downtown. I work Remembering the past Susan Hutchinson (Coordinator), three days/week near the RAD, and some more accurately Cindy Kunst, Laura Hackett days I literally dread the certain traffic DISTRIBUTION DRIVERS: snarls. I have watched the neighborhood The year 2019 was particularly impor- Gary Alston, Russell Badger, I work in gentrify before my eyes in the tant to U.S. history because it marked the Autumn Hipps, Clyde Hipps,, last four years. And now even out where 400th anniversary of the first slave ship Joan Jordan, Mark Low, I live in the country, it is swiftly changing landing in the United States, marking Angelo Sant Maria, Desiree Davis, into housing developments. If I weren’t the beginning of slavery. Upon reading Charlotte Rosen, David Weiss
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 5 OPINION Send your letters to the editor to [email protected].
an article from The New York Times and right direction toward acknowledging and When we think about plantations, we the 1619 Project, we realized that the use remembering the past more accurately. personally reminisce about picnics, skip- Problematic CBD of the words slave, slave owner and planta- — Ben ping through the valley and a nice sum- experience, thanks tions are dehumanizing to the ancestors Asheville mer day. Knowing that plantations were of enslaved people and continue the insti- not like that in the past and that they to lax regulation tutional racism that was propagated back were actually places of great torture, we then to justify slavery. Change the way we would prefer to call them forced labor I thought the CBD trend was harm- As socially conscious students of speak about slavery camps. less, snake oil that could drain your wal- Francine Delany New School for Children, It will be hard to change our vocabu- let but not much else, but a recent experi- we believe it is the just thing to do to ence has me questioning otherwise. I had We are writing this because we believe lary, but with a conscious effort, we think change the language that is commonly previously purchased several different that we all should change the way we we can change the way we speak to bet- used among our community. Unjust lan- brands of the oil, eventually finding one speak about slavery. The main words we ter suit everybody. It will truly take prac- guage directs attention away from the that did help me sleep, as well as several would like to change are “slave,” “slave tice, but that is only because those words that probably contained little or no CBD, suffering that happened at these forced owner” and “plantation.” are ignorantly embedded in our minds. thanks to the lack of regulation. While labor camps, and changing it acknowl- In the case of the word slave, we believe — O., Cameron and London I have no doubt CBD can be useful for edges the fact that people were kidnapped that by calling the enslaved people that, it Asheville certain types of epilepsy, sleep and pain, and brought here to unwillingly serve by dehumanizes them and labels them as a the dosages are likely much different all means of their enslavers. We feel that commodity, disrespecting those who suf- calling people slaves labels them more and higher than any amount found in a fered and putting them in a place where Language shift will tincture. as property than a person. We seek to they are remembered as property, not humanize the people who were enslaved During my recent problematic experi- people. By replacing the word slave with change perceptions ence, I took what I thought was 100 mg and were essential in building this nation. enslaved person, you are putting their of CBD [available in the Asheville area], Since 2019 marked the 400th year of humanity first, rather than their situation. 2019 marked the 400-year anniversary a dose that had previously helped me remembrance of the first slave-holding As for the term slave owner, we think of the first ship transporting enslaved with anxiety and insomnia. However, ship that arrived in the United States of it enforces the false idea that enslaved Africans to Jamestown, Va. A piece of about two hours after ingestion, I noticed America, we feel as though it is our duty people were property to toil for others day writing that touches on this subject is a a lack of short-term memory, closed-eye to remedy this inaccurate understanding and night to bring others wealth, and that collection called the 1619 Project, from hallucinations and increased social anxi- of history by changing our language today. enslaved people were something to be The New York Times. As our class moved ety as well as other clear signs of THC The enslaved endured work and anguish owned, like an object. By replacing slave through this unit, our teacher, and the intoxication. I was previously diagnosed that should never be forgotten. Changing owner with enslaver, we don’t promote articles we’ve read, introduced a new with borderline schizophrenia (they use the language we use now is a step in the the ideology of owning other people. idea of how we view, speak and perceive the term schizotypal more nowadays) the words “slave owner,” “slave” and and know I am very sensitive to these compounds. In the past, they caused a lot “plantation.” of problems, though I thought I was safe Alternatives to these words are in this instance. I am not writing this to “enslaver,” “enslaved person” and fearmonger but spread awareness of the “forced labor camps.” problem of lax regulation in this area. The use of “slave” and “slave owner” I have no doubt CBD can be useful, dehumanizes and maintains the racism and many companies are doing good that encompasses those words. The word work in distributing it, and it seems to slave leaves no room for a person to have a much safer side-effect profile than be something other than that: a slave. prescriptions, but in its current state Referring to people as “an enslaved per- with lack of regulation as well as testing, son” instead of calling them simply “a it’s very problematic, especially for those slave” gives humanity back to the people prone to dissociative or psychotic states. who were not considered human, but — Name withheld Asheville property, to be bought, sold or traded. “Plantation” reflects idealism and commends the wealth of enslavers while Trump must not go away! overlooking the reality of enslaved labor ASHEVILLEMARKETER that made the wealth; while “forced I feel compelled to respond to labor camps” acknowledges the fact that Leslie Gaidi’s letter [“Make Trump Go people were kidnapped and required to Away,” Nov. 11, Xpress]; she suggested work with no gain. that on behalf of all babies, President Some people argue that using politi- Trump should be removed from office. cally correct language is not essential. Remember the movie It’s A Wonderful We argue that by changing the way we Life? In the movie, the hero George speak, we change the way we conceive Bailey is shown what the world would be like if he had never been born. In the the world and perceive our everyday same spirit, let’s look at what America lives. Although it takes conscious effort would be like if Trump had never been and practice, these simple changes in our elected: language make big shifts in our commu- 1. We would be stuck with the disas- nity of Asheville, which must also work to trous Iran nuclear deal, which freed reconcile our own legacy of slavery. up $150 billion for Iran, all while they — B., A., and Kevyn were chanting “Death to America,” and Asheville “Death to Israel.” And Iran would still
6 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM CARTOON BY BRENT BROWN have been allowed to build a nuclear weapon in 10 years anyway. 2. Veterans would no longer be able to see physicians outside of the VA and have the government pay the bill, even though waiting periods to see a doctor at the VA were way too long. 3. Our economy and stock mar- ACCOUNTING ket would be stuck in the doldrums; instead, we have the strongest econ- OFFICE omy in 50 years, record low unem- ployment and a raging bull market in stocks. MANAGEMENT 4. Nonviolent drug offenders would not have the opportunity to get an early release from prison. 5. Our embassy in Israel would be stuck in Tel Aviv, instead of having ASHEVILLE AREA CHAMBER moved to Jerusalem, a move that [pre- vious presidents] had promised but OF COMMERCE only Trump had the courage to actu- ally do it. 6. America would not be respected by the rest of the world as it is today. 7. Our NATO allies would still not be paying their fair share. Those are just a few of the things MUSICIAN’S that would never have happened if Trump had not been elected. President WORKSHOP Trump is a true patriot, who has made America stronger and done more in his first three years than many presidents do in eight years. — Roger Gilmore Mars Hill
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 7 NEWS LEFT OUT? Racial equity and NC’s budding hemp industry BY BROOKE RANDLE [email protected]
Since 2015, when industrial hemp first gained limited legal status in North Carolina via a state-adminis- tered pilot program, the industry’s prospects have exploded. Despite significant regulatory confusion, hun- dreds of licensed Tarheel farmers are now growing hemp. A processing cen- ter and milling operation in Spring Hope, N.C., is said to be the largest such facility in the country. Closer to home, Abundant Labs, another pro- cessor, has opened up shop in Canton. Industrial hemp, a strain of can- nabis, has many uses, including rope, paper, textiles, plastics and — per- haps most notably — CBD oil, whose surging popularity is helping drive the boom. Under federal law, hemp can contain no more than 0.3% THC, the psychoactive ingredient in mari- juana. Meanwhile, across the country, the broader cannabis industry (which includes both medical and recreation- al marijuana in states where they’re legal) has also shown dramatic growth. Not everyone is reaping the ben- CAPTION efits, however. Although hard num- bers are in short supply, a 2017 survey by the Marijuana Business Daily, a Colorado-based website, found that 81% of cannabis-related business own- NC program; Simone owns Different to be in it — whether that’s a person of legal hemp industry for 10 years from ers nationwide were white. And while Wrld, an Asheville-based clothing, color or not — I think it’s a really impor- their conviction date. the scope of the overall cannabis sec- accessory and lifestyle brand with a tant conversation that we should all be A key component of needed canna- tor far outstrips North Carolina’s bud- sustainability focus. Hayes, a commu- bis reform, he says, is expunging those ding hemp industry, the underlying having,” she maintains. nity activist, founded the Urban Arts criminal records for marijuana-related concern is the same. Institute. convictions. Some states that have legal- “Not only are [people of color] bear- Hosted by Culture Club, a local dis- WIPING THE SLATE CLEAN ized recreational use, such as Colorado ing the burden of the war on drugs, cussion group, and Tarleton Walmsley, and California, provide varying degrees but now — as cannabis reform is hap- the event will consider the rapidly evolv- Kight, who represents clients in all pening and there are people who are of relief for those folks. ing industry in terms of racial diversity, areas of the cannabis business, says the making money and creating careers “The other piece of that is when you criminal justice and economic impact. low participation by people of color is and a whole industry — these same have a felony conviction, in most states Local blogger and activist Ami Worthen due, in part, to policies in the decades- communities are being left out of this you can’t vote. I think having a voting will serve as moderator; Rob Thomas, industry,” says Asheville attorney Rod long war on drugs that have dispropor- push is also really important and should community liaison with the Racial Kight. tionately targeted communities of color. maybe even be in conjunction with Justice Coalition, will also speak. A 2013 study by the American Civil expungement,” Kight explains. “Those Walmsley says she hopes the event Liberties Union found that between are the two things that I am personally RACIAL EQUITY will call attention to the industry’s lack 2001 and 2010, 8.2 million people were advocating for.” of racial diversity while educating those arrested for cannabis — and people of Kight, whose specialty is the can- considering hemp and CBD-related color were nearly four times as likely nabis business, will be taking part in work. to be arrested as whites, despite using RACIAL BARRIERS an upcoming presentation focused on “We wanted to reach out to our indus- precisely this issue. “Cannabis Culture: try but also to people that are curi- marijuana at roughly the same rate. Panelist Hayes, who is executive A Paneled Discussion About Equity in ous or have an interest in diversifying That’s left millions of people with crimi- director of the Umoja Health, Wellness the Cannabis & Hemp Industry” will this industry,” says Walmsley, who is nal records that can block access to jobs, and Justice Collective, ascribes the low also feature fellow panelists Danielle co-owner of Garden Party. The West housing and educational opportunities. participation in the industry by peo- Adams, Honey Simone and Michael Asheville boutique specializes in canna- Current federal law, notes Kight, also ple of color to a variety of complex, Hayes. Adams is a fellow in the Z. bis-related products. “People who are bars people with prior drug-related felo- overlapping issues. His Asheville-based Smith Reynolds Foundation’s All for currently in the CBD industry or want ny convictions from participating in the nonprofit uses group communication
8 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM “Legalize it is just the beginning: What does it mean and what does it look like?” — Asheville attorney Rod Kight
and resilience training to address racial do you want accomplished when we’re trauma. One problem, he says, is that talking about social justice?” many people of color lack awareness States where marijuana is now legal of the rapidly changing laws, which he have approached the social justice com- attributes to “opportunity hoarding” by ponent in myriad ways. One is to levy majority groups. additional taxes on cannabis products “Things that are happening and blos- soming for everyone else, we get that and allocate those revenues to the com- ESTATE JEWELRY, LTD. LIABILITY CO. information late,” Hayes maintains. munities that, historically, have been “And then after we get the information, most harmed by enforcement efforts. it is us not trusting each other to invest Another is to ensure that a percent- with each other to make that type of age of growers licenses go to people move.” of color. Many of the current justice- Some members of the black com- focused initiatives, says Kight, are still munity, he continues, discourage their being tweaked in hopes of creating the peers from entering even the legal best fit with specific populations and hemp industry because of the lingering geographic areas. stigma associated with marijuana. It’s wrong, they argue, to profit from an “I don’t think that any model, unfor- industry that, historically, saw dispro- tunately, is the perfect model. But I portionate numbers of people of color definitely believe that we should have serve lengthy prison sentences. Hayes, some sort of a system where we ensure however, while acknowledging the that people who have been dispropor- complexity of these issues, believes the tionately affected by the drug war are potential economic benefits are vital able to participate,” he explains. to overcoming institutionalized racism Hayes agrees, noting that social jus- and poverty. tice in cannabis law is implicitly tied to “We have a lot of gatekeepers who economic justice in general. say that us thinking about getting involved in the hemp and marijuana “I think it’s a great idea anytime you industry is detrimental to our commu- can think about giving back to a com- nity,” he concedes. But “Being poor munity of low wealth that has been and constantly having our hand out is oppressed, generation after genera- also detrimental to our community.” tion,” he says. “We’re just talking about Walmsley, meanwhile, says that “As giving us a fair shot. It’s about time white people, we need to step up and right now for us to use the wisdom and do our part to contribute and even the knowledge that we’ve learned, use the playing field.” community in a collective and collab- orative way, and let us apply what we SOCIAL JUSTICE know to the opportunities that are out there. That’s all we’re asking for.” X Eleven states plus the District of Columbia have legalized recreational marijuana since 2012; 22 more permit ASHEVILLE YOGA CENTER medical marijuana. And while North Carolina may still be years away from We need to talk... following suit, Kight says that advo- cates and legislators alike can use this “Cannabis Culture: A Paneled time to develop comprehensive reform Discussion About Equity in the Cannabis & Hemp Industry” measures that could help those most will happen at The Mothlight on impacted by the state’s current drug Thursday, Jan. 9, 6-9 p.m. Tickets laws. cost $15, and a portion of the “You have a lot of people who say, proceeds will benefit the Black ‘Hey, let’s just legalize it and be done Mamas’ Bail Out Action, a group with it,’ and I respect that. People want aimed at ending cash bail. The to grow cannabis like they grow toma- effort is a project of Southerners toes, and I agree with that, but what on New Ground, an Atlanta- does that mean?” he asks. “Legalize it based social justice advocacy is just the beginning: What does it mean organization. X and what does it look like? And what
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 9 NEWS by Max Hunt [email protected] HOME IMPROVEMENT An interview with Asheville downtown development specialist Dana Frankel
ODYSSEY COMMUNITY SCHOOL
10 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM THE REGENERATION STATION
JEWELS THAT DANCE
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 11 HUMOR XPRESSERS HUMOR ALMANAC BUTTON PREDICTIONS FOR THE COMING YEAR
Top 10 Asheville-area • The Woodfin Sewer and Water Top five sneaky ways Top five schemes of District is made up of salamander conspiracy theories people in disguise. Think about it. hotels will get past independent store that will gain traction • Indicted Buncombe County Asheville City Council owners to combat in 2020 Commissioner Ellen Frost is run- Amazon ning horse smuggling ring out of the moratorium • Former City Council member Jan Asheville Pizza Co. basement. • Offer free shipping, but only along Davis is moonlighting as the Montford • Firestorm Books & Coffee is secretly • It’s a brewery you can sleep in! Pubcycle routes. tire slasher to drum up new business. a capitalist enterprise run by a fabu- • Hire street corner poets to write five- • Brevard’s white squirrels are just reg- • Pet resorts. Board your pet, bring lously lucrative private equity venture. star product reviews. “My name is ular squirrels forced to visit tiny salons your human for free. • Register of Deeds Drew Reisinger Bert / I love this shirt / I think that you for dye jobs, all part of a marketing is hiring local Ukrainians to rig his • Declaring religious exemption as / will love it too. — 5 stars” ploy by the Transylvania County TDA. reelection campaign. temples to Hypnos, son of Nyx and • Bear blockades at UPS hubs • Three-legged bears are getting peg- Erebus, brother of Thanatos, Greek • Door-to-door shopping Sherpas. legs and taking up a life of piracy on • Start selling cheap plastic crap that no the French Broad. god of sleep. one needs. • The City of Asheville’s walled-off, • Book the Wortham Center for the 23,000-acre water reservoir preserve is Performing Arts for an extended used as a breeding ground for a clone Top 10 complaints of army of future Asheville city workers. run of a “participatory public perfor- Asheville’s gentry Assistant City Manager Cathy Ball, mance art piece.” Tickets are $325 and considered the genetically perfect gov- include an overnight stay. • Energy of high tea brought down by ernment employee, is the main source CBD infusion. • Just suck it up and bribe city plan- • Brian Haynes is really leaving City for DNA. • Homeless in Pritchard Park keep dis- Council to become a superhero: • Flat Asheville — all the mountains are ner Shannon Tuch the good old-fash- turbing croquet wickets. Bluntman. an illusion, man. ioned way. • Terrible horse-drawn buggy traffic.
TOWN AND MOUNTAIN REALTY 2010 PLEB URBAN WINERY
12 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM • Bridesmaids keep photobombing the • “Would you help a veteran of the war daguerreotypes. on Christmas?” • Unhoused residents keep trying to • “All contributions will be matched by WORK WITH DHT move into Grove Park Inn ginger- the Dogwood Health Trust.” bread display. • “I just need 56,000 more individu- (NO, NOT YOU, HILLBILLY) • Shortage of dirigible parking in Arras al donors to qualify for the next garage. • Surly service-industry millenni- Democratic presidential debate!” als. They spit in your Courvoisier, • “This book is for you, dude. No really, never say thank you, and still want a I don’t want anything for it. I just want ha’penny for their trouble. people to read again.” • Subpar wax cylinder collection on offer at Harvest Records. Top five Asheville • City noise ordinance grants no relief from raucous string quartet concerts media phenomena at Biltmore House. • Have been waiting at station for next • Citizen Times reporter John Boyle train to Raleigh for 50 years. wins Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in the inaugural Dad Jokes Top five uses for the division. Effulgence Executive Search is honored to be retained by Dogmatic Helpers Asheville sinkhole • Chad Nesbitt of SKYline News wins Trust (DHT), the $1.5 gazillion foundation created as the result of Hopeless Pulitzer Prize for investigative report- Contagion of America’s (HCA) acquisition of nonprofit Missing Health. ing, reports Chad Nesbitt. Because DHT has a shit-ton of money mandate to maximize the health of every living creature in Western North Carolina, we are seeking ridiculously overqualified applicants for all positions. Candidates should have held CEO-level positions with national or international organizations or within government agencies. Ability to turn water into wine not required, but preferred. Black belt in corporate jargon a must.
No candidates currently residing within the 18 westernmost counties of North Carolina or on the Qualla Boundary will be considered.
• Connect to the Country Club of CUSTODIAN Asheville golf course for world’s easi- This entrepreneurial cleaning professional is someone with a track record of est hole-in-one. • Asheville Daily Planet gets bought by American Standard and becomes moving the needle — literally, should (God forbid) a discarded syringe ever • Syringe disposal — out of sight, out of make its way into the corporate offices or onto the grounds of DHT. mind. Not on the sidewalk or in any- national trade magazine, The Bidet-ly one’s backyard! Planet. You should be in peak physical condition with the ability to stand completely • E-scooter test track. • Asheville Scene — now vapable. still for 12 hours; lift up to three times your own body weight; push a vacuum • Wait for moss to grow and call it a • BPR spends entire tote bag budget on while indefinitely maintaining a six-minute-mile pace and leap at least three greenway. hookers and blow. feet vertically (the better to change lightbulbs without using a ladder). • Really, really deep meditation center. In your application, please provide verifiable results of NASA laboratory Top five Asheville testing showing that facilities under your care have been found free of any and Top five Asheville all forms of microbial life, dust or airborne particulate matter. spiritual happenings scams to watch out for RECEPTIONIST in 2020 in 2020 A master of the soft art of diplomacy, you should be a graduate of an elite • Recent influx of ramen shops serves as finishing school, as well as the holder of a perfect score on the Foreign Service • “Brunch.” Officer Test administered by the U.S. State Department. • BOGOTBB: Buy one, get one taken a front for Flying Spaghetti Monster back by Bigfoot. cultists. You will leverage an extensive technical knowledge of telecommunications • Kraft beer singles. • “Set Your Spirit Free” tourism cam- (including memorization of the full 333-page Telecommunications Act of 1996) • Banjo Muzak. paign causes uptick in ghost activ- to efficiently and pleasantly receive and transfer incoming calls. • The Buncombe County Tourism ity. TDA claims Ghostbusters can’t Fluency in English, Spanish, Ukranian, Russian, Moldovan, the Kituwah Development Authority. be paid with occupancy tax under dialect of Cherokee and modern Greek are required; a background in Latin is current law. preferred. Top 10 creative • Following closure of HCA wheelchair PUBLIC RELATIONS COORDINATOR panhandler pitches clinic, Blue Cross Blue Shield recog- nizes faith healers as in-network. With the news industry in free-fall, the sky’s the limit here. At a minimum, your background must include stints at the top of the masthead of a major • “I work for Mountain Xpress.” • Franklin Graham brings back American daily newspaper and as a news anchor of a major television network. • “Orange Peel service charges went “Decision America” rally to help up again.” Asheville tourists make tough restau- You should be comfortable on camera and off, shaping authentic, unfailingly • “If you give me a dollar, I won’t sing rant choices. flattering messages that keep the focus on exactly what DHT wants to ‘Wagon Wheel.’” highlight and nothing else. • “I’ll hold your spot in line at Biscuit • Crossroads at West Asheville proj- Head.” ect delayed indefinitely by stream You will also be responsible for raining fire on the heads of uncooperative • “Now accepting Venmo.” of bluesmen seeking deals with the journalists and planting positive stories while convincing editors it was their • “I promise not to gender you.” devil. X own idea all along.
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 13 HUMOR PRISON Pen Pals Letters from corrupt Buncombe County officials
Dear Wanda, to collect our pensions, but our stay I have enclosed a picture of Michael for top-notch toilet vino to make I have joined your boy Michael here can be all-expenses-paid. for you, at his request. life easier here in the big house. here in Kentucky. He seems right at Life here is deeply and specifi- Your comrade, [Ingredients list redacted for Jon “Hatin’” Creighton safety.] home in prison and has been show- cally segregated. He was trying to USP McCreary, Ky. Put all the soft, sweet ingredients ing me the ropes — he only got six get me to join his gang, the Ponzi Lowriders, but I have opted to join Prisoner # 22967-055 in a bag, squeeze out the air and months in minimum security, but he my own people in the Lip-hairy-an mash without breaking the bag. I is really leaning into the “thug life.” Brotherhood. God bless the ‘stache. find this works best in my armpit — Although I am missing the com- Dear Jon, no risk of my fingernails poking a I’m so proud of my little Michael! forts of home, and my beloved hole. Then add the liquids and mix. All grown up with prison tats, just Tourists most of all, I have been (My favorite flavor is purple.) like his momma. You two can join all Run the bag under very hot able to enjoy some rollicking games the gangs you want — just remember, water, wrap it in an extra pair in the yard. A guy asked me to in the end, you report to me. of government-issue skivvies and sell “tickets” to the softball games, Gangs aren’t really a thing in wom- store for 48 hours. Add a dinner which I did, only to find out later en’s facilities, but I’m getting together roll for yeast, store the bag in a that I had inadvertently become what I like to call my Sewing Circle. cool, dark place, and burp the gas part of a bookmaking operation. I They all call me Doctor Greene, and out every hour or so for the next thought it was strange that people I am quickly becoming the most day. About four days later, you can Hot tip: He discovered our county kept giving me different amounts of respected (feared) woman here. strain off the chunks and gloopy P-Cards still work at the commis- postage when the games are free to Unfortunately, that also means they bits through the skivvies. sary, so not only can we continue attend. want to show me their foot fungus. It’s no Sonoma County, but The P-Cards don’t work here; I you’ll have yourself a beverage tried that first thing. But I was able to not unlike Two-Buck-Chuck pinot. secure a work assignment doing the Put it in containers with the green prison’s bookkeeping. The warden apple Jolly Ranchers and Atomic says even though I was stripped of Fireballs until the candy dissolves, my CPA licence, he’s happy to have and it’s practically cinnamon-apple me. After all, he’d let a disgraced brandy. It pairs nicely with Slim electrician work with wires, so why Jims and Velveeta. not let me work with QuickBooks? One word of caution: Make sure He’s excited that he won’t have to pay the dinner roll is fresh and clean. taxes anymore. My cellie stole my first batch while I’m also renovating my cell and I was sleeping and she got botu- entertaining bids from fellow inmates. lism. Pour one out for her. They are bringing lots of offerings Prison buds 4 life! from commissary to encourage me to make the best decision. I’m practi- Mandy “Stone Cold” Stone cally swimming in eye drops, Colgate Alderson FPC, Alderson, W.Va. and Lubriderm — reminds me of Prisoner #34426-058 good old Joey Junior! Yes, it’s shaping up to be a cozy HABITAT FOR HUMANITY RESTORE seven years. I might even get to work Dear idiots, on my tan. If only there was decent Welcome to the hoosegow. I wine in here. always knew you were a worse Your Capo, crook than me, Wanda. You just Dr. Wanda “The Skillington” Greene hated my style because I didn’t Carswell FMC, Fort Worth, Texas try to cover my gambling up and it Prisoner #34202-058 made people sniff around. Well, you finally got yours. And meanwhile, I get out next October. Dear Wanda and John, I paid my debt to society and I’m I’m also adjusting to incarcerated headed back to Bunkum to show life. I coldcocked the biggest, meanest ‘em they can’t keep ‘ole Bobby Lee girl I could find with a chair during down. my first group therapy session, so Your old pal, now they call me Stone Cold. Bobby Medford I know we’re all great lovers of Butner Low FCI, Butner, N.C. wine, so I wanted to share my recipe Prisoner #22161-058
14 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM OPEN SLEEPWORLD OF BUNCOMBE COUNTY
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 15 HUMOR
FOOD CHICKEN SANDWICH SMACKDOWN The Xpress food editor weighs in on the Chick-fil-A vs. Popeyes debate
BY GINA SMITH arguably America’s OG fast-food poul- taurant has an actual dining room com- try sandwich, met my timeliness criteria. HUMOR plete with zippy zydeco music, and [email protected] And fast food is indisputably one of the from the dire news reports, I figured cheapest meal options out there next to BUTTON it would harbor a desperate crowd As a food writer, the one remark I dumpster diving. of chicken sandwich addicts fighting hear almost without fail when people Furthermore, I’ve never eaten one of each other with sharpened straws. But find out what I do for a living is some these sandwiches or even been to either I must have picked an off day. No variation on the following: “It must one of these restaurants. As a 50-some- aggression was evident among the mel- be so awesome to get paid to eat at thing quinoa enthusiast who shops at low assortment of construction work- restaurants!” tailgate markets with upcycled cloth tote ers and retirees quietly waiting for Yeah, I bet that would be awesome. I bags, my fast-food experience over the their lunch. wouldn’t know. past 30 years has been confined to semi- The kitchen here was readily vis- As an independent community annual stops at Taco Bell on road trips to ible and seemed to be running like a newspaper struggling to survive in Florida. well-oiled (pardon the deep-fryer pun) an age when such publications are Also, there’s this: I’ve been a vegetarian machine. But, like at Chick-fil-A, the rarer than wine coolers and landline for most of my adult life. (I currently define WHICH ‘WICH? Food editor Gina Smith ordering experience was disconcert- telephones (if you’re younger than 30, myself as a “situational omnivore” due to jumps into the fast-food #ChickenSandwich- ingly speedy. When you’re used to Google it), Xpress doesn’t have the bud- the demands of my job in Asheville’s pork Wars for her first restaurant review. Photo by waiting an hour for your hand-crafted, get for a restaurant critic. belly-saturated food scene.) Thomas Calder locally sourced, slow-food meals, these But people love reviews. And I love I’m an utterly blank canvas, the perfect fast-food turnaround times make your to give our readers what they want. So person to evaluate these contenders. cozy ambience of my Kia Soul. The first head spin. I decided to find a way. To create a level playing field, I decid- thing that struck me about this sandwich This sandwich proved a little more There were several factors to con- ed to sample a classic version of each was its austerity. I’m a toppings person substantial. The brioche bun had loft sider. First, menu price points had to sandwich, consuming them immediately — the more the merrier — so I was a and gloss, and an oversized slab of suit my personal budget (i.e., as close inside the respective dining rooms. I had little disappointed that the only embel- breaded chicken protruded significant- some concern that my personal views on ly from one side. Happily, the pillowy to free as possible). Second, I wanted to lishments were three pale pickle slices LGBTQ issues might trigger some kind of bun hid a schmear of mayonnaise, and visit restaurants I’d never tried before. huddled together like terrified refugees. gay-dar alarm when I entered Chick-fil-A, there were pickles — only two, but And finally, I desired an element of I took my first bite, and it...wasn’t bad. but I was committed to forging ahead sturdy, fat, vivacious slices. timeliness. In fact, it was maybe even...good? I want- nonetheless. The first bite tasted good. And so did The perfect answer presented ed more. Hunched in my car over this The first week of December, I ventured the second. And the third. itself (as so many revelations do) via greasy, animal-based morsel, I felt a kind forth to the Tunnel Road Chick-fil-A Like the Chick-fil-A version, the social media in the form of the sin- of sweet guilt reminiscent of sneaking a across from the Asheville Mall to begin meat was very salty — I could feel the gle most pressing and divisive issue beer in your parents’ house when you’re a the challenge. When I finally emerged, inside of my mouth shriveling. But the facing our nation right now — the teenager (not that I ever actually did that, half-starved and exhausted with road Mom and Dad). monolith of chicken was crispy on the #ChickenSandwichWars. rage, from the gridlock of holiday traffic An unavoidable problem, however, outside, juicy on the inside, accented Pitting Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen’s and pulled up to the restaurant, it came as was that the bulk of the sandwich was perfectly by the tart, crunchy pickles new, panic-inducing chicken sandwich a shock to learn that the location is drive- meat — a hefty chunk of juicy chicken and creamy mayonnaise. against its competitor at Chick-fil-A, thru only. breast (thankfully not the processed stuff After the third bite, though, I found So, no dining room. But also — less that looks suspiciously like industrial myself wondering: Why so much chick- possibility of a gay-dar alarm! I inched polyurethane foam). The prevailing flavor en, Popeyes? Is this really what meat into one of two long car lines full of was salt, but the breading had a pleas- eaters want? (Answer: Yes, Gina. Yes, hungry Chick-fil-A devotees, eventually ing crunch. The bun was sort of flat and it is.) . placed my order, then crept up to the tiny, unimpressive, but it tasted OK and wasn’t In the end, I preferred the Popeyes brightly lit cubicle where I paid for and as gummy as it looked. sandwich, despite the fact that it con- almost instantly received my sandwich As it turned out, the sad little pickles tained chicken. I would actually eat it from one of eight cheerful but bored- were the heroes of the day, adding a again if I found myself stranded on a looking teenagers. much-needed tang of acidity. After my desert island equipped with a Popeyes Mysteriously, no kitchen was discern- second bite, the secret guilt rush was and no quinoa, artisan vegetable fer- BLACK BEAR BBQ ible. It’s possible that the food is made by gone, and I yearned for some sauce or ments or avocado toast in sight (pro- certified heterosexuals in a church-sanc- even a perky leaf of iceberg lettuce to vided there was a generous supply of tioned production facility somewhere in liven things up. fresh water to wash it down with). Georgia then delivered by drones. But I allowed my digestive and nervous My next review: Burger King’s really, I have no idea. systems a couple of days to recover then Impossible Whopper. Dazed by the speed and enigma of it all, headed out to the traffic combat zone Note: My deepest apologies to the I pulled away and parked in front of the of Airport Road to check out Asheville’s innocent chickens and pickles that gave nearby TJ Maxx to enjoy my dinner in the brand, spankin’ new Popeyes. This res- their lives for this review. X
16 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM BEER SCOUT SOLD! Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. changes ownership HUMOR BUTTON
CAPTION
BY EDWIN ARNAUDIN The new owners plan to take an “if it sidering using the influx of funds to can ain’t broke” approach to their new busi- her house-made sodas while Karnowski [email protected] ness while remaining firmly invested in “might go to a few more metal shows” the Zebulon brand and its focus on utiliz- each year. In the wake of New Belgium Brewing ing locally sourced ingredients and resur- “Or travel to Mars. I haven’t decided,” SOVEREIGN KAVA Co.’s sale to Kirin subsidiary Lion Little recting historical recipes. Pickard is con- he says. X World Beverages and the announce- ment the very next day that Bold Rock Hard Cider would be purchased by Artisanal Brewing Ventures, fellow It’s time to play (North and South) America’s favorite game show: Western North Carolina brewing giant “Prescription Drug, Marijuana Strain or Asheville Brewery!” Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. is joining Mark each option with the correct icon and win big! the ranks of changing ownership. The new boss? Weaverville’s Ace of Spades Querkle Endless Sky Wycillin Zebulon Artisan Ales, for a sum report- Xodol Zillicoah Advair Diskus ed to be somewhere in the hundreds. Bhramari Zarxio Cursus Kĕmē Myrbetriq Conducted via PayPal, the transaction Master Bubba Amlodipine Vyvanse Remedy puts the U.S.’s third-largest craft brew- Blue Dream Space Dawg Highland ery under the leadership of husband/ Eurisko Green Man Allegra Turgua wife duo Mike Karnowski and Gabe Golden Ticket Northern Lights Devil Fruit Pickard, who have run their modest DSSOLVR Ginger’s Revenge Wicked Weed Pitbull operation out of a former firehouse in an alley off Main Street since 2016. “We strive to be a pioneer in every conceivable manner,” says Brian Grossman, co-manager of Sierra Nevada’s Mills River brewery. “The entire team and I look forward to hand- ing Mike and Gabe the keys to Malt Disney World.” Within hours of the news hitting social media, packages of Sierra Nevada beer disappeared from Asheville-area BLUE RIDGE APA shelves in a wave of local loyalty. “It shows what they truly value,” says craft beer connoisseur Marty Zumstein. “Have I been to Zebulon? No, I’m always working during the 10 hours they’re open each week, but I hear good things.”
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 17 HUMOR
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT SCREEN SCENE HUMOR BUTTON by Edwin Arnaudin | [email protected] is terrible for pedestrians but a boon to the sport,” Damien says. “As long 20/20 SUPPORT as we don’t enter a Mad Max-style arid apocalypse, all the ingredients are present for long-term success.” Benefit concert planned for musician Much like tracking a storm off the North Shore of Oahu, the surfers will harmed by phone camera flash carefully monitor forecasts and descend upon Asheville when the conditions The Asheville music community HUMOR are right. Keala Kennelly, Kai Lenny, will unite on Saturday, Jan. 4, at BUTTON Paige Alms and Sebastian Steudtner The Orange Peel to honor one of its are among the sport’s leading fig- shining stars in his time of need. The ures who will take on such intimidat- benefit concert will help pay medi- ing stretches as the Lexington Luge, cal costs for noted vocalist and pro- ducer Ryan Barber, who was tragi- After chronicling surfing around the Patton Pounder and French Broad cally blinded during his Dec. 14 show globe since the early 1990s, documen- Flailer. Big-wave surfing pioneer Laird at Everydamnvenueinthecity when tarian Taylor Steele will bring his cam- Hamilton will also be in attendance to a concertgoer took a picture of him era to Asheville in summer 2020 to film witness what he calls “the future of the with the flash turned on. a feature-length work about the city’s sport.” booming big-wave scene. Upon the light reaching his eyes, Following the assured success of the The director was alerted to the new Barber instantly covered his face project, tentatively titled Urban Slip ’n surfing mecca by local filmmaker Katie and yelled, “Who brought the Bat Slide, Steele plans to return to Asheville Signal?” Fellow attendees promptly Damien after she was caught in a in the near future to film Blustery Days: bum-rushed the individual and gave recent downtown rainstorm and nearly The Walnut Street Wind Tunnel Story, him a bruise or two. Fans who stayed swept away to Arden. by the walls reported hearing the “The antiquated drainage down- about the downtown avenue’s allure phrase, “OK, boomer,” repeated mul- town, coupled with overdevelopment, for the world’s elite hang-gliders. tiple times from the site of the melee as well as the stage. At the benefit show, Barber’s BLINDED BY THE LIGHT: Ryan Barber is Simon Maclunkey reveals that track- tourmates Secret Agent 23 Skidoo adjusting to the phone camera flash that BROTHERS FROM THE ing devices the triplets had played a and Debrissa McKinney will serve cost him his sight. SAME MOTHER as co-masters of ceremony with key role in avoiding being in the same Simon Thomas George is known for place at the same time, along with his bandmates from BoogiTherapi corner of Haywood and College streets his impressive work with the Marcus regular group grooming sessions and and McKinney’s Empire Strikes just outside Mayfel’s (buzzkills claim Brass trying not to knock into one King Band, The Digs and as part of group texts. the time frame is closer to three days) the house band for the Tuesday Night another as the backing ensemble. local busker Dore Mifasolati has added “Frequent viewings of The Prestige “I’ll play suspended from wires Funk Jam. The prolific Asheville-based have also proved extremely informa- a second song to her repertoire. keyboardist is in so many different like Peter Pan if I have to,” says ESB “People from the third floor of the tive,” he says. “But those guys had it projects that the phrase “How does he keyboardist Lenny Pettinelli. “I just building that used to have the wig shop easy.” do it?” frequently wafts in the air at his won’t let Ryan check the harness. started throwing tomatoes at me — real George Maclunkey claims that all shows — and now music fans have an What, too soon?” big ones, too,” she says. “I guess they three family members will continue to answer. The evening’s setlist will be com- really don’t like West Virginia or moun- play with their respective groups on The instrumentalist has been posed of songs by Stevie Wonder, Ray tain mamas.” the condition that they buy a “some- Charles, Doc Watson, Ronnie Milsap revealed to actually be three differ- The introduction of what the uku- what offended” King a fruit basket and and José Feliciano, plus half of Sigur ent people: identical triplets Simon, lelist/vocalist refers to as “that song a baby cactus. While the youngest (by Rós’ “Starálfur” to honor Jónsi’s right the guy in the marijuana suit plays on Thomas and George Maclunkey. The eye. seven minutes) Maclunkey is excited repeat” proved popular with a group proverbial beans were spilled when all Attendees will have their cellphone to not have to “run [himself] ragged of tourists from Pawnee, Ind., who three brothers were spotted at the Dec. camera settings checked after receiv- keeping up this ruse,” he’s even more recorded videos of the performance and 14 Ryan Barber show. ing the venue’s standard friendly jazzed for the siblings’ “wildly innova- whisked them into Instagram stories. “This explains so much,” says Josh full-cavity search and pat-down, and tive” accordion trio work to finally be “Y’all act like you never seen a busk- Blake, who performs with Thomas anyone caught taking a photo with heard. er before,” says Michigan transplant Maclunkey in the Josh Blake Organ the high beams on will face the wrath Siamese Sound Club bandmate and downtown personality Marshall Trio (aka JBOT) and the Funk Jam of Skidoo’s daughter Saki’s roller Mathers. When asked by the visitors if band. “I’d see him with Marcus, and CaroMia Tiller — girlfriend of presum- skates. he could do better, Mathers flipped the he’d do some riff I’d never seen, then ably one of the brothers back when hood of his sweatshirt over his head and I’d grill him about bringing it into our everyone assumed it was one guy — groups and he’d get all coy, then act declined to comment for this article, BUSKER LEARNS SECOND SONG walked away. Mifasolati encouraged the crowd of like he didn’t know what I was talk- though a friend who wishes to remain After what feels like three nonstop five to check out her Facebook page and ing about at the next practice. I just anonymous has suggested that Xpress years of playing John Denver’s “Take follow along on Twitter, Soundcloud, thought he was being an asshole, but I put a tail on Tiller’s Goldie and the Me Home, Country Roads” at the TikTok and MySpace. guess I owe him an apology.” Screamers frontwoman “persona.”
18 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM DUMB BETS
Bad Date Story Slam Chain of Fools Have you been ghosted so often you’re considering holding a seance? Were you At this point, everyone’s gone to an ax-throwing bar or tried Beers with Bears at the dumped three times in six months when your love interests claimed to have Nature Center. Chain of Fools takes outdoorsy entertainment plus alcohol to the next contracted bird flu? Did your outing to a home furnishings store result in you level: The brewery offers an array of high-gravity beers (10% ABV minimum) to tipple assembling a bookshelf and hanging drapes in the new apartment of your Tinder while creating a unique work of mountain-style art. Chainsaw art, that is. “Think of it date — who then suggested you should see other people? Matchmaking mishaps as the new wine and pottery-painting date night,” says Chain of Fools owner Bennett are nothing new; neither is complaining about bad romance. But now, thanks to Tillington. “It’s basically the same, only instead of sipping pinot you’re chugging a the Bad Date Story Slam, the unloved can win cash prizes and bragging rights triple IPA, and instead of decorating a mug, you’re carving a life-size elk with an for enduring the worst disses. Sign up in advance to share your five-minute story incredibly dangerous power tool.” Tillington adds that he got interested in chainsaws onstage at The Mothlight, second Tuesdays of the month, in front of a guaranteed when he witnessed a gardener using one at his family’s summer home. “It was just so rapt audience. Slams are hosted by Matilda “The Unrepentant Spinster” Brownlee. cool. And I thought, ‘What if you could do that for fun and not, like, [shudder] work?’” (Any competitors asked out at the show due to cuteness, wit or storytelling prowess The brewery will require all patrons to wear protective goggles, sign a waiver and will immediately be disqualified.) 7 p.m. showtime, $5 to listen. show proof of organ donor status. Grand opening Friday, Jan. 3.
Festivus Jam Metallicats Though fans were saddened to learn the annual Warren Haynes Christmas Jam Touring stoner-metal band/feline rescue nonprofit Metallicats brings its high-wattage was on hiatus for 2019, the cancellation opened an opportunity for a new holiday show to The Odditorium on Saturday, Jan. 4. On tour in support of their latest release music experience: Festivus Jam. Helmed by Haynes’ brother, Asheville City Council Cat Scratch Fever, Metallicats appears onstage as characters from the beloved member Brian Haynes, Festivus Jam will still include the Kevn Kinney-hosted Jam Broadway musical, Cats — if said characters contracted rabies and died and then were by Day (because, apparently, Kinney didn’t receive word Xmas Jam was canceled exhumed in the zombie apocalypse. Cat Scratch Fever is a concept album that tells that as organizers, attempting to contact him with the news, added an “i” to Kevn in his story in deafening guitar riffs and pummeling percussion. The live show also includes a Gmail address). And rumor has it Dave Grohl is still at U.S. Cellular Center, finishing tap-dance sequence, choreographed by Savion Glover. During intermission, the band a guitar solo from last year’s jam. Plus, adds Brian Haynes, “In true Festivus — you members’ once-feral traveling cat companions will perform circus acts. Representatives know, from ‘Seinfeld’ — fashion, there will be an Airing of Grievances. At the City from local animal shelters are invited to set up info tables with adoption applications. Council meeting, on Tuesday, at 5 p.m.” Attendance is required for all Jam ticketh- Fans are invited bring their own feline friends to the show — kitty earplugs are highly olders. Photo of Grohl, left, and Warren Haynes by Matthieu Rodriguez recommended and freeze-dried mouse snacks will be provided. 10 p.m., $7.
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 19 FEATURES ASHEVILLE ARCHIVES HUMOR by Thomas Calder | [email protected] BUTTON Born to draw The cartoons of Billy Borne, 1920
From 1907-28, cartoonist Billy Borne offered commentary on local, national and international matters through his illustrations, published in The Asheville Citizen. As part of our Humor Issue, we thought it would be fun to review Borne’s work. Below is a series of the artist’s cartoons, featured in the early days of 1920. Published Jan. 8, 1920 Published Jan. 11, 1920
Published Jan. 25, 1920 Published Jan. 27, 1920 Published Jan. 29, 1920
Published Jan. 30, 1920 Published Feb. 1, 1920 Published Feb. 10, 1920
OPEN
20 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM COMMUNITY CALENDAR
meeting. Free. Held SHOWING UP FOR JAN. 31 - FEB. 8, 2018 RACIAL JUSTICE at Trinity Episcopal Church, 60 Church St. • TUESDAYS, 10am- noon - Educating CALENDAR GUIDELINES ASHEVILLE and organizing white SUBMARINE people for racial jus- VETERANS For a full list of community calendar guidelines, tice. Free to attend. • 1st TUESDAYS, please visit mountainx.com/calendar. For ques- Held at Firestorm 6-7pm - Social tions about free listings, call 828-251-1333, ext. Books & Coffee, 610 meeting for US Navy Haywood Road 137. For questions about paid calendar listings, submarine veterans. please call 828-251-1333, ext. 320. Free to attend. Held STEM WITH DR. K at Ryan's Steakhouse, • TU (1/7), 3:30- 1000 Brevard Road 5:30pm - STEM to attend. Held at ACTIVISM with Dr. K: Making Monte Vista Hotel, ASHEVILLE WOMEN a table/night lamp. IN BLACK 308 W. State St., Registration required. CITIZENS-POLICE Black Mountain • 1st FRIDAYS, 5pm ADVISORY Ages: 6-106. Free. COMMITTEE - Monthly peace vigil. Held at Mountains Free. Held at Vance • 1st WEDNESDAYS, Branch Library, 150 BUSINESS & Monument, 1 Pack 5pm - Citizens-Police Bill's Creek Road, TECHNOLOGY Square Advisory Committee Lake Lure meeting. Free. Meets DEFCON 828 BUNCOMBE TRIVIA NIGHT in the 1st Floor GROUP COUNTY PUBLIC • TUESDAYS, 7pm Conference Room. LIBRARIES • 1st SATURDAYS, - Trivia night. Free. Held at Public Works buncombecounty. 2pm - General meet- Held at VFW Post Building, 161 S. org/governing/depts/ ing for information 9157, 165 Cragmont Charlotte St. library security profession- Road, Black Mountain als, students and • THURSDAYS, PROGRESSIVE enthusiasts. Free to 10:30am-noon - ALLIANCE OF CAPTION HENDERSON CO. attend. Held at Earth Modern money ECO • FRIDAYS, 4:30- Fare South, 1856 theory study group. Free. Held at North 6pm - Postcard Hendersonville Road RIVERLINK writing to govern- Asheville Library, RIVERFRONT BUS ment representatives. MOUNTAIN 1030 Merrimon Ave. TOUR BIZWORKS Postcards, stamps, ORIENTATION • THURSDAYS, 5pm - • 1st THURSDAYS, addresses, pens and • FR (1/3), 10-11am Spanish Conversation 10am-1pm - Proceeds tips provided. Free - Information Group for adults. from the Riverfront to attend. Held at session on avail- Free. Held at Pack bus tour benefit Riv- Sanctuary Brewing able resources at Memorial Library, 67 erLink. Registration: Co., 147 1st Ave., Mountain BizWorks. Haywood St. avl.mx/68a. $45. Hendersonville Registration required. • Every other TUES- HENDERSON SIERRA CLUB: 20TH understand the factors FOOD & BEER GOVERNMENT Free. Held at Moun- DAY, 4pm - Basic ANNIVERSARY OF COUNTY SHOWING UP FOR that influence farm & POLITICS DEMOCRATIC RACIAL JUSTICE tain BizWorks, 153 S. computer skills class. GORGES STATE PARK profitability, assess PARTY MONTHLY • TUESDAYS, 10am- Lexington Ave. Free. Held at Pack FAIRVIEW WELCOME BREAKFAST • TH (1/9), 7-9pm recordkeeping and BLUE RIDGE noon - Educating Memorial Library, 67 • 1st SATURDAYS, WNC LINUX USER - Sierra Club of West- TABLE REPUBLICAN and organizing white Haywood St. farm documentation in WOMEN'S CLUB 9-11am - Monthly GROUP ern North Carolina people for racial jus- order to enhance their • 2nd THURSDAYS, MEETING breakfast buffet. • 1st SATURDAYS, KOREAN WAR (WENOCA) honors tice. Free to attend. • 2nd THURSDAYS, $9/$4.50 for children noon - Users of all VETERANS the 20th anniversary farm financial picture. 11:30am-1pm - Com- Held at Firestorm CHAPTER 314 6pm - General meet- under 10. Held at Hen- experience levels dis- of Gorges State Park https://organicgrow- Books & Coffee, 610 • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, munity lunch. Admis- ing. Free to attend. derson County Demo- cuss Linux systems. with a presentation ersschool.org/farmers/ Haywood Road Free to attend. Held noon - Korean War sion by donation. Held Held at Yao, 153 cratic Party, 1216 6th by Bill Thomas, the advanced-enterprise- Veterans Association, Smoky Park Highway Ave. W., Suite 600, VETERANS FOR at Earth Fare South, environmentalist who at Fairview Christian General Frank development/ Hendersonville PEACE 1856 Hendersonville fought to create it. CAROLINA JEWS Road Blazey Chapter 314, Fellowship, 596 Old US • TUESDAYS, 5pm Information: judymat- IMPROVING FARM FOR JUSTICE/WEST INDIVISIBLE general meeting. - Weekly peace vigil. [email protected] or COMMUNICATIONS Highway 74, Fairview • SU (1/5), 3-5pm COMMON GROUND- Free. Held at the Lunch at noon, 828-683-2176. Held - Annual meeting WNC CLASSES, (PD.) Vance Monument in meeting at 1pm. Free at Unitarian Univer- of Carolina Jews • 1st WEDNESDAYS, MEETINGS JAN. 12 & JAN. Pack Square. Held at to attend. Held at salist Congregation for Justice/West. 6:30-8pm - General & EVENTS 19. 10AM-4PM. In FESTIVALS Vance Monument, 1 Golden Corral, 2530 of Asheville, 1 Edwin Registration: cjjwest@ meeting. Free. Held at Pack Square Chimney Rock Road, Place Improving Farm Com- carolinajewsforjustice. St. David's Episcopal ASHEVILLE CHESS Hendersonville WINTER LIGHTS Church, 286 Forest CLUB munication workshop org. Free. Held at EXHIBITION Congregation Beth Hills Road, Sylva • WEDNESDAYS, LAUREL participants will use BENEFITS FARM & HaTephila, 43 N. 6:30pm - Sets pro- CHAPTER OF THE real life farm situations • FR (11/22) through PROGRESSIVE EMBROIDERERS’ GARDEN Liberty St. vided. All ages and to learn communica- ALLIANCE OF DECK THE TREES GUILD OF AMERICA SA (1/4), 6-10pm - HENDERSON CO. skill levels welcome. tion styles, how to CITIZENS-POLICE • FR (12/6) through • TH (1/2), 10am- ADVANCED • FRIDAYS, 4:30-6pm Beginners lessons Winter Lights, outdoor ADVISORY MO (1/6), 10am- noon - General ENTERPRISE have better conversa- available. Free. Held DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE - Postcard writing to 9pm - Proceeds from meeting and making holiday lights exhibi- at North Asheville (PD.) tions, and practice new • 1st WEDNESDAYS, government repre- Deck The Trees in no-sew fleece blan- Recreation Center, 37 THU. FEB 6TH skills. For farmers and tion. $18/$12 children/ 5pm - Citizens-Police sentatives. Postcards, the theme of Go Tell E. Larchmont Road kets for Project 3PM-7PM. Advanced employees on farms. Advisory Committee stamps, addresses, It On the Mountain Linus. Free. Held at Enterprise Free under 5. Held at meeting. Free. Meets pens and tips pro- Fuel Fund https://organicgrow- benefit the ASHEVILLE ROTARY Cummings United Development will NC Arboretum, 100 in the 1st Floor Con- vided. Free to attend. for the Swannanoa CLUB Methodist Church, 3 dig into enterprise ersschool.org/farmers/ ference Room. Held at Held at Sanctuary Frederick Law Olmsted Valley Christian • THURSDAYS, noon- Banner Farm Road, development improving-farm- Public Works Building, Brewing Co., 147 1st Ministries. Free 1:30pm - General Horse Shoe and help farmers communications/ Way 161 S. Charlotte St. Ave., Hendersonville
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 21 CONSCIOUS PARTY
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VETERANS FOR Valley Model Railroad • TUESDAYS, 3:30pm Caregivers free. Held PEACE & Museum, 650 Maple - Afternoon preschool at Asheville Museum • TUESDAYS, 5pm St., Hendersonville storytime geared of Science, 43 Patton - Weekly peace vigil. towards 3-5 year-olds, Ave. Free. Held at the BUNCOMBE includes singing, COUNTY PUBLIC Vance Monument in stretches and creative MISS MALAPROP'S LIBRARIES STORY TIME Pack Square. Held at activities. Free. Held buncombecounty. Vance Monument, 1 at West Asheville • WEDNESDAYS, org/governing/depts/ Pack Square Public Library, 942 10am - Miss library YWCA Haywood Road Malaprop's Story Time • 1st WEDNESDAYS, • WE (12/4), for ages 3-9. Free to 11am-noon - Story- KIDS 4pm - Dungeons and attend. Held at Mala- time + Art, project for Dragons for ages prop's Bookstore and EMPOWERING THE preschool students. 6-12. Registration Cafe, 55 Haywood St. LEADER IN EACH Free. Held at North required. Free. Held YOUNG MAN (PD.) PLAYDATES Asheville Library, 1030 at Fairview Public Journeymen is sup- • MONDAYS, 9-10am Merrimon Ave. Library, Fairview porting adolescent - Playdates, family • 1st FRIDAYs, • 1st WEDNESDAYS, boys on their paths fun activities. Free to 2:30pm - Read with 4-5:30pm - Heroes to becoming men J.R. the Therapy Dog. Unlimited, role playing attend. Held at Whole of integrity. Our Free. Held at Skyland/ game for grades 6-12. Foods Market, 4 S. cost-free program is South Buncombe Registration required. Tunnel Road now enrolling young Library, 260 Overlook Free. Held at Fairview men 12-17. Mentees SKATING RINK Road Library, 1 Taylor Road, ("J-men") participate • WE (12/18) through • FR (1/3), 3:30pm - Fairview in bi-weekly mentor- WE (1/1), 11am-6pm, Lego building, ages ing groups and a FLETCHER LIBRARY except Christmas Eve 5-12. Free. Held at semi-annual Rites of 11am-3pm, Christmas Fairview Library, 1 • WEDNESDAYS, Passage Adventure Day Closed, New Taylor Road, Fairview 10:30am - Family story Weekend, where they time. Free. Held at Year’s Eve 11am-3pm • FR (1/3), 4pm - develop compassion, Fletcher Library, 120 and New Year’s Day LEGO builders, kids 5 self-awareness, Library Road, Fletcher from 1pm-6pm - Ice- and up. Free. Held at accountability, less ice skating. Enka-Candler Library, resilience and authen- HARLEM $10/$5 children 10 1404 Sandhill Road, GLOBETROTTERS ticity. Learn more: and under. Held at Candler • SU (1/5), 3pm - journeymenasheville. Hendersonville Visitor • SA (1/4), 10am - Harlem Globetrotters org Contact: journey- Center, 201 S. Main bring their Pushing menasheville@gmail. LEGO builders, kids St., Hendersonville com (828) 771-6344. 5 and up. Free. Held the Limits tour. $24. at Oakley/South Held at US Cellular STEM WITH DR. K APPLE VALLEY Asheville Library, 749 Center, 87 Haywood • TU (1/7), 3:30- MODEL RAILROAD & St. MUSEUM Fairview Road 5:30pm - STEM with • WEDNESDAYS, • MONDAYS, 10:30am LITTLE EXPLORER'S Dr. K: Making a table/ 1-3pm & SATURDAYS, - Mother Goose Time, CLUB night lamp. Registra- 10am-2pm - Open storytime for 4-18 • 1st & 3rd FRIDAYS, tion required. Ages: house featuring oper- month olds. Free. 9-10am - Little 6-106. Free. Held at ating model trains and Held at Skyland/South Explorer's Club, sci- Mountains Branch historic memorabilia. Buncombe Library, ence topics for Library, 150 Bill's Free. Held at Apple 260 Overlook Road preschoolers. $7/ Creek Road, Lake Lure
22 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM YOUTH ART CLASS - Asheville Parks & middle school. $50/ • TU (1/7), 2pm - • SATURDAYS, Recreation holds Holi- camper and COA Chair Yoga. Free. 10:30-noon - Youth day Camp for youth residents get $10 off. Held at Enka-Candler art class. $10. Held at and teens in grades Held at Stephens Lee Library, 1404 Sandhill Appalachian Art Farm, kindergarten through Recreation Center, 30 Road, Candler 22 Morris St., Sylva middle school. $50/ George Washington camper and COA FOCUS ON Carver Ave. FLEXIBILITY residents get $10 OUTDOORS off. Held at Montford • TUESDAYS, 2:30pm Community Center, SENIORS - Focus on Flexibility, BEAVER LAKE BIRD 34 Pearson Drive exercise class focused WALK on stiffness, balance ASHEVILLE NEW MOTHERS • SA (1/4), 9am - Bird FRIENDS (PD.) and body alignment. walk. Free. Held at CONNECTION Information: 828-299- Offers active senior Beaver Lake Bird • THURSDAYS, 4844. Free. Held at residents of the Sanctuary, US-25 11:30am-1:30pm - Haw Creek Commons, Asheville area Social gathering for 311 Old Haw Creek opportunities to PISGAH CHAPTER mothers and their Road OF TROUT babies. Registration make new friends and UNLIMITED required. Free to explore new interests • 2nd THURSDAYS, attend. Held at through a program of 7pm - General meet- SPIRITUALITY Haywood Regional varied social, cultural ing and presentations. Medical Center, 262 and outdoor activities. Free to attend. Held ANATASATI MAGGA Leroy George Drive, Visit www.ashevil- at Ecusta Brewing, 49 (PD.) Clyde lenewfriends.org Pisgah Highway, Suite Sujata Yasa (Nancy 3, Pisgah Forest STEPHENS LEE BUNCOMBE Spence). Zen Bud- HOLIDAY CAMP COUNTY PUBLIC dhism. Weekly medi- • MO (12/23), FR LIBRARIES tations and services; PARENTING (12/27), MO (12/30), buncombecounty. Daily recitations w/ TU (12/31), TH (1/2) & org/governing/depts/ mala. Urban retreats. MONTFORD FR (1/3), 8:30am-6pm- library 32 Mineral Dust Drive, HOLIDAY CAMP Asheville Parks & • THURSDAYS, 2pm Asheville, NC 28806. • MO (12/23), FR Recreation holds Holi- - Chair Yoga. Free. 828-367-7718. info@ (12/27), MO (12/30), day Camp for youth Held at Weaverville anattasatimagga. TU (12/31), TH (1/2) & and teens in grades Public Library, 41 N. org. WWW.ANAT- FR (1/3), 8:30am-6pm kindergarten through Main St., Weaverville TASATIMAGGA.ORG GOODWILL INDUSTRIES OF NWNC
YMCA OF WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 23 COMMUNITY CALENDAR by Deborah Robertson
HAMMERHEAD STONE
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ASTRO-COUNSELING level), Asheville NC OPEN SANGHA Homeward Bound (PD.) 28806, 828-254-6775. • THURSDAYS, 7:30- Licensed counselor is working to end (free event). www. 9pm - Open Sangha and accredited profes- homelessness and how eckankar-nc.org night. Free. Held at sional astrologer uses Urban Dharma, 77 W. you can help. Registra- your chart when coun- DREAMING A NEW Walnut St. seling for additional DREAM MEDITATION tion required: tours@ insight into yourself, • 1st FRIDAYS, 7pm TAIZE PRAYER MEETUP homewardboundwnc. your relationships and - Dreaming a New • 1st FRIDAYS, 7-8pm org or 828-785-9840. life directions. Stellar Dream, meditation Counseling Services. - Taize, interfaith to explore peace Free. Held at Home- Christy Gunther, MA, meditative candlelight and compassion. ward Bound of WNC, LPC. (828) 258-3229. prayer meetup with Free. Held at Center song, silence and 19 N. Ann St. ECK LIGHT AND for Spiritual Living scripture. Free. SOUND SERVICE: Asheville, 2 Science Held at St. Eugene's EXPERIENCE THE RUMBLING BALD Catholic Church, 72 WONDERS OF THE Mind Way WORK DAY LIGHT AND SOUND Culver St. OF GOD (PD.) MEDITATION CLASS • WE (1/8), 9am- Explore your own • 1st SUNDAYS, 2pm - Join Carolina direct connection 10am - Meditation VOLUNTEERING Climbers Coalition to with the Divine class sponsored by within this service, Science of Spirituality. TUTOR ADULTS/ begin the restoration an engaging blend YOUTH IN NEED Information: 828-348- STEWARD BUILDERS of insightful stories, WITH THE LITERACY of the West Side 9123 or avlmedita- COUNCIL (PD.) uplifting creative arts, Boulders at Rumbling Give someone and contemplative [email protected]. Free. another chance to Bald adjacent to exercises. Experience Held at Veda Studios, learn. Provide reading, the Light and Sound 853 Merrimon Ave., Chimney Rock State writing, and/or English of God and the (Upstairs) language tutoring and Park. We intend to sacred sound of HU, MOUNTAIN change a life forever. which can open your re route undesirable MINDFULNESS Volunteer orientation heart to divine love, trails and mitigate SANGHA 1/6 (5:30pm) or 1/9 healing, and inner • TUESDAYS (9am) RSVP: volun- erosion on existing guidance. Fellowship 7-8:30pm - Mountain [email protected]. follows. Sponsored trails. Bring your tool Mindfulness Sangha. Learn more: www. by ECKANKAR. Date: litcouncil.com. Free. of choice. Information: Sunday, January 5, Admission by dona- tion. Held at The 2020, 11am, Eckankar HOMEWARD BOUND avl.mx/6ts. Held at Center for Art and Center of Asheville, OF WNC Rumbling Bald Parking 797 Haywood Rd. Spirit at St. George's • THURSDAYS, Lot, 827 Boys Camp (“Kings and Queens Episcopal Church, 1 11am - See the Hope Salon” building, lower School Road Tour, find out how Rd, Lake Lure
24 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM MARK A KNOLLMAN, DDS, PA
FOUR SEASONS COMPASSION FOR LIFE
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 25 HEALTH ROUNDUP
LIVEWELL IN WNC FUNDS FLOW INTO REGION / LIVE WELL Several local providers of health care and related services recently received word of significant grant awards. Buncombe County announced two funding awards totaling over $1 mil- lion to address the opioid abuse crisis. A Comprehensive Opioid Abuse Site- based Program grant in the amount of $878,803 from the U.S. Department of Justice, U.S. Office of Civil Rights and U.S. Office of Justice Programs will pro- vide psychological, medical and social support to people who have recently overdosed or are at high risk of overdose from opioids. And a three-year, $275,000 Community Linkages to Care grant from the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services will assist high- OPEN risk individuals upon release from jail. According to a county press release, research from UNC Chapel Hill shows GREAT WORK: Six Mission Health nurses were among North Carolina’s Great 100 that people with opioid use disorder Nurses for 2019. The honorees, left to right, are Hope Cucchi, Anna Gerhardt, Brooke exiting incarceration are 40 times more Graham, George Alan Sessoms, Margaret Holmes and Melissa Woodbury. Photo cour- likely than other state residents to die of tesy of Mission Health opioid overdose in the two weeks follow- ing release. The Sisters of Mercy of North be notified of final grant awards in Carolina Foundation awarded over February. $1 million in grants statewide. Six Western North Carolina organiza- tions received $225,000 of that money, Tips of the hat including Blue Ridge Literacy Council of Hendersonville ($20,000), Asheville • Six Mission Health nurses were Buncombe Community Christian among North Carolina’s Great 100 Ministry Doctors’ Medical Clinic Nurses for 2019: Hope Cucchi, of Asheville ($50,000), Community Anna Gerhardt, Brooke Graham, Housing Coalition of Madison County of Marshall ($45,000), OnTrack Financial George Alan Sessoms, Margaret Education and Counseling of Asheville Holmes and Melissa Woodbury. ($45,000), Interfaith Assistance Ministry • Four Seasons, then called Hospice of Hendersonville ($40,000) and of Henderson County, was found- Working Wheels of Asheville ($25,000). ed in 1979. Since then, the orga- Pisgah Health Foundation, the suc- nization has expanded to serve 11 cessor to the Transylvania Regional counties in Western North Carolina CENTER FOR Hospital Foundation, announced its ASHEVILLE RAVEN provisional approval of 46 programs through care navigation, home care, MASSAGE & to receive a total of $2.5 million fol- palliative care, hospice care, inpa- & CRONE lowing the foundation’s preliminary tient care at Elizabeth House in NATURAL HEALTH review of over $30 million in requests. Hendersonville, grief services and Grant totals by category include food clinical research. As it celebrates its and food insecurity, $210,313; determi- 40th anniversary, Four Seasons is nants of health, $984,525; social cohe- sion, $399,950; education, $631,450; and caring for over 400 hospice patients housing, $342,500. According to the and over 1,200 palliative care foundation’s website, nonprofits will patients a day.
ASHEVILLE HOLISTIC REALTY
26 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM Southeastern Sports Medicine and For community Orthopedics, a department of Pardee members with autism UNC Health Care. DePaolo special- izes in joint reconstructive surgery The transition from high school to of the shoulder, hip and knee and APPALACHIAN SHOJI SPA college or a career can be challenging associated procedures. for students with autism. A new class • Dr. Denise Ingram will begin see- WELLNESS & LODGE offering, Transition to Employment and ing patients at The Family Health Postsecondary Education Program, will Centers of Asheville, Arden and be available at no cost to qualifying Hominy Valley on Monday, Feb. 3. students with autism ages 16-21 at A-B She will work at the company’s Arden Tech during the spring 2020 semester. location at 2161 Hendersonville Road. According to a press release from the UNC TEACCH Autism Program, which developed the training, “The T-STEP Low-cost braces was created to address high college screening Jan. 25 failure and unemployment rates among adults with autism spectrum disorders. On Saturday, Jan. 25, orthodontist … The T-STEP is a combination of Dr. Timothy Scanlan will screen chil- college seminar class, internship and dren ages 7-21 who need braces but self-advocacy counseling to help autis- whose families are not able to afford tic students successfully transition into them. Scanlan has committed to donate adulthood.” approximately $150,000 in orthodon- More information is available at tic care to local children through the avl.mx/6tl. Smiles Change Lives nonprofit, accord- ASMY On Saturday, Jan. 25, 9 a.m. to noon, ing to a press release. the Asheville Regional Airport will host In addition to the age requirement, the fifth annual Wings for Autism event, children must have good oral hygiene, which simulates an air travel experi- not currently wear braces and have a ence for people on the autism spectrum moderate to severe need for braces. and their families or caregivers. More Families must meet financial guide- information is available at avl.mx/6tm. lines, which vary based on family size. For a family of four in Asheville, house- hold income must be below $73,800. On the move The family must submit an application fee of $30 and, if selected, a program fee • Dr. Charles DePaolo, a board-certi- of $650. fied orthopedic surgeon and sports More information and registration medicine physician, has joined are available at avl.mx/6tn. X
WELLNESS CALENDAR
Admission by donation. intellectual and develop- the mat (bring your own) WELLNESS Held at Urban Dharma, mental disabilities. Free. or in a chair. All levels 77 W. Walnut St. Held at South Slope are welcome. Free. Held PILATES CLASSES AT CrossFit, 217 Coxe Ave., HAPPY BODY (PD.) GENTLE FLOW YOGA at Leicester Library, Suite B Individualized, Challeng- • MONDAYS, 5:30- 1561 Alexander Road, ing, Equipment and Mat 6:30pm - Gentle Flow THE MEDITATION Leicester classes. Call 277-5741. Yoga. $5. Held at Leices- CENTER Details at: Asheville- ter Community Center, • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, WNC BIRTH RED MOON HappyBody.com 2979 New Leicester 6-8pm - Inner Guidance SUPPORT from an Open Heart, GROUPS SOUND HEALING • Highway, Leicester SATURDAY • SUNDAY class with meditation and CENTER HERBS (PD.) MINDFULNESS discussion. $10. Held at THE MEN'S MEDITATION Every Saturday, 11am The Meditation Center, CAULDRON • SU (1/5), 10am-noon and Sundays, 12 noon. 894 E. Main St., Sylva • SA (1/4). 3-4:30pm - For - Mindfulness meditation Experience deep men and male-identified practices of sitting WALKING CLASS relaxation with crystal folk. Held at Raven & meditation and walking bowls, gongs, didgeridoo • TUESDAYS & THURS- meditation. Admission Crone, 555 Merrimon and other peaceful DAYS, 9am - Walking by donation. Held at Ave., Suite 100 instruments. $15. At exercise class. Free. Asheville Shambhala Skinny Beats Sound Shop, Held at Grace Lutheran US TOO Meditation Center, 60 N. 4 Eagle Street. www. Church, 1245 6th Ave W., Merrimon Ave., Suite 113 • TU (1/7), 7pm - Prostate Hendersonville skinnybeatsdrums.com support group Us TOO: SPECIAL OLYMPICS a forum for men, caregiv- BE MINDFUL ADAPTIVE CROSSFIT WINTER YOGA SERIES • TUESDAYS, CLASSES • WE (1/8), 4pm - Each ers, family members 7:30-8:30pm - Guided, • WEDNESDAYS, Wednesday in January and partners. Held at non-religious sitting and 3-4pm - Adaptive crossfit for gentle yoga with First Baptist Church of walking meditation. classes for individuals with breath awareness, on Asheville, 5 Oak St.
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 27 GREEN SCENE
Residents skeptical of Duke COAL COMMENTS Energy’s Arden ash plans French Broad River, Duke’s groundwa- I’m gone, it’s still going to be a prob- ter monitoring was a recurring theme. lem for our children and grandchil- “The groundwater monitoring fre- dren,” said Asheville resident Sheila quency of two times a year is inad- Lauerhass. equate,” said Amanda Strawderman, One of the evening’s only speakers program coordinator and Asheville to back the project, Hartwell Carson, office manager for environmental non- called the landfill “the right way to profit Clean Water for North Carolina, move.” The French Broad Riverkeeper “and must be increased to at least for Asheville-based MountainTrue said quarterly.” citizens and environmental groups Strawderman criticised Duke’s plan have long been demanding that Duke to dispose of the toxic leachate through develop a solution for dealing with the the MSD, saying that the sewage sys- coal ash, which the company has his- tem is set up to deal with organic waste torically kept in unlined, water-filled rather than heavy metal-laden “con- pits. taminated sludge.” She also questioned “I do support this,” Carson stated. “I the integrity of the liners themselves think it’s a responsible solution.” and suggested that other lined landfills While Arden resident Xavier in the state may be compromised. In Boatwright said Duke’s current June, concern over potential leaks from approach of trucking coal ash to a lined coal ash landfill established in Georgia was irresponsible and unethi- KEEPING IT CONTAINED: Ed Mussler, permitting branch supervisor for the N.C. De- Chatham County in 2015 led the DEQ cal, he called on the company to use its partment of Environmental Quality, outlines Duke Energy’s plans for a landfill at its to order testing at the site. money and influence to develop more Arden facility. Photo by Ben Richmond Equally troubling to many at the innovative solutions than a landfill. meeting was the proposed landfill’s “We’ve got to take a step back and BY BEN RICHMOND mercury that are toxic to people and location within a 1 1/2mile radius of broaden our horizon,” he said. “Who wildlife. several schools, churches, health care better to lead the charge?” [email protected] According to a presentation by Ed facilities and densely populated resi- Duke’s permit application remains Mussler, permitting branch supervisor dential areas. “The density of the area open for public comment period until On Dec. 19, the N.C. Department of for the DEQ, the completed landfill will makes it unsuitable for coal ash,” said Friday, Jan. 10. Comments can be Environmental Quality held a public be a pyramid-shaped mound standing Gary Curran, secretary of the Biltmore mailed to Ed Mussler, N.C. Division hearing at A-B Tech to discuss Duke 95 feet above the current ground level. Park Homeowner’s Association. “This of Waste Management, Solid Waste Energy’s plans to create a 12.5-acre Multiple layers of earth, geotextile and is an unsafe location.” Section, 1646 Mail Service Center, industrial landfill at its Arden plant. synthetic liners will surround the waste Because Duke’s permit application Raleigh, NC 27699-1646, or via email Just as Duke prepares to transition and eventually be covered with artificial only specifies how monitoring will to [email protected]. The the plant from coal to natural gas, the turf. occur at the landfill over a 30-year permit number (1119-INDUS-2020) and “post-closure period,” other speakers name (Duke Energy, Asheville Steam utility is proposing to store roughly Duke’s permit application states that questioned the long-term integrity of Electric Plant) should be included in 1.1 million cubic yards of coal ash leachate from the waste will be “con- the containment system. “Long after the subject line. X and industrial waste from the facility’s veyed to the Metropolitan Sewerage demolition on site. District of Buncombe County” via “an Coal ash from the plant is currently existing connection” or “tanker trucks.” being trucked to a landfill in Homer, All but two of the 15 speakers at the Ga. The by-product of power pro- hearing expressed worries over the land- duction is known to contain levels of fill proposal. Considering the site’s close heavy metals such as cobalt, lead and proximity to both Lake Julian and the
FATHER AND SON HOME IMPROVEMENT
ONE TO GO: Although Duke Energy has completely excavated a 37-acre coal ash ba- sin, shown here, at its Arden power plant, the utility is still moving material from a sec- ond, 41-acre basin. Photo by Virginia Daffron
28 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM SMALL BITES
by Thomas Calder | [email protected]
Asheville Proper slated MELA INDIAN RESTAURANT to open this spring After eight years as the executive chef at Storm Rhum Bar and Bistro, Owen McGlynn is launching a new restaurant, Asheville Proper. The chef is partnering with his wife, Mindi McGlynn, and business associates Russel and Mercy Joseph. Located inside the Grove Arcade, the new live- fire steakhouse is slated to open in the spring. Diners can expect a wide selection of JERUSALEM cuts, says McGlynn. Traditional favor- ites like New York strip, filet mignon GARDEN CAFE and the cowboy ribeye will be featured on the a la carte menu. In addition, the chef notes, Asheville Proper will feature lesser-known, more affordable options like the coulotte, teres major and flatiron. The restaurant’s seasonal menu will rely on local purveyors including Hickory Nut Gap Farm, Apple Brandy PARTY OF FOUR: Chef Owen McGlynn, right, with his wife, Mindi, and business partners Beef, Brasstown Beef and Abundant Russell and Mercy Joseph. Photo courtesy of Phase:3 Seafood. Side items will include smashed fingerling potatoes, flamed Brussels sprouts and whipped pota- Proper has been a dream in the making. Throughout 2020, limited bottle toes, among many others. The restau- His hope is the new restaurant will serve releases of historical English beers as the city’s go-to, locally owned, locally rant will also offer a variety of small will be available to members, with sourced steakhouse. plates such as charred pickled shrimp, six total releases planned for the new smoked cauliflower and squash soup. Asheville Proper is slated to open in year. Participants will also receive a McGlynn says he intends to make early spring 2020 inside the Grove Arcade, the most of the grill’s live fire. “I’ll be 1 Page Ave., Suite 151. For more informa- TARDIS teku glass. Releases need to tion, visit avl.mx/6t6. cooking a lot of things in the embers, be picked up at the brewery or at a doing things over the flame, slow-roast- proxy location. ing other items and hanging a few The Tardis Society Zebulon Artisan Ales is at 8 Merchants things for a slow cook.” With over 20 years’ experience in the Zebulon Artisan Ales is offering yearly Alley, Weaverville. To learn more, visit food industry, the chef says Asheville $165 subscriptions to its Tardis Society. avl.mx/6t2. CALYPSO RESTAURANT
THE BLACKBIRD RESTAURANT
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 29 FOOD
The Asheville DIY sausage and beer
Hot Chocolate Races The Chop Shop Butchery will partner with a local brewery (details unavail- Entering its 13th year, The Asheville able at press time) to host a hands-on Hot Chocolate Races return Friday, Jan. sausage-making workshop on Thursday, 25. Adult races include a 5K and 10K, as Jan. 9. According to the event’s Facebook well as shorter competitions for younger runners. To honor the event, French page, participants will learn about the Broad Chocolate Factory and Catawba ingredients that go into making sau- Brewing Co. will release a special hot sage, as well as techniques for properly chocolate-themed beer on Thursday, grinding, mixing and stuffing sausage RUTH’S CHRIS CREPERIE AND Jan. 2. The 5K and 10K races are limited by hand. Samples will be served along to 500 runners each. Both runs start at with a choice of beer or wine. Students BILTMORE CAFE/HOME Issac Dickson Elementary School. The are asked to dress in layers, as the cut- 10K kicks-off at 9 a.m., followed by the ting room is cold. All who attend will VILLAGE GEAR SHOP 5K at 9:15 a.m. Registration is $10. The take home sausages made during the Marshmallow Dash for younger kids two-hour session, along with PDF notes starts at 8:30 a.m. and recipes from the class. Early bird The Asheville Hot Chocolate Races take tickets are $85; early bird VIP tickets are place Friday, Jan. 25, at Isaac Dickson $115 and include a pound of Chop Shop Elementary School, 125 Hill St. To regis- bacon and a Chop Shop T-shirt. ter, visit avl.mx/6t0. DIY sausage and beer runs 6-8 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 9, at The Chop Shop Butchery, 100 Charlotte St. To learn more Mystery Basket Competition and to purchase tickets, visit avl.mx/6sy. The Western North Carolina Association of the ACF, a local nonprof- Milk & Cookies Bierbrand it that offers certification, educational resources, training and apprenticeships, Chemist Spirits and Wicked Weed is hosting an open house and cooking Brewing recently collaborated to create competition on Monday, Jan. 6. The the Milk & Cookies Bierbrand, a beer Mystery Basket Competition will feature brandy made with Wicked Weed’s Milk 10 contestants preparing dishes based & Cookies Imperial Stout and aged for on hidden ingredients revealed during months in barrels that previously housed the event. bourbon and beer, says a press release. The open house runs 4-7 p.m. Monday, Notes of cinnamon, golden raisin, vanil- Jan. 6, at A-B Tech, 340 Victoria Road. la, chocolate, toffee and oatmeal infuse For more information and to enter the the dessert brandy. contest, visit avl.mx/6t1. To learn more, visit avl.mx/6sz. X
SAWHORSE
REZAZ - KODA LLC
30 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM THIRSTY MONK
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 31 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT HUMOR BUTTON Comedy troupe Reasonably Priced CHILD’S PLAY Babies keeps the laughs coming Chalmers. “We have some standards. BY ALLI MARSHALL We always open with something called [email protected] ‘Next,’ which is an intentional short- attention-span theater. We get one It turns out that being part of an word from the audience and do a quick improv comedy troupe isn’t so differ- scene.” ent from being in a band. “When you Richardson adds, “There’s a lot of get the right group of people together, audience participation in our shows.” it just works,” says Kim Richardson. “I The group ends, as many troupes feel very much like that’s this group — do, with “Freeze Tag.” That structure, everybody brings something to it that’s Chalmers explains, “is made up of short scenes [where] something funny hope- important.” A member of the Asheville- fully happens, somebody else comes based collective Reasonably Priced in, tags the person out, assumes the Babies, Richardson was previously a position but generates a new scene.” singer-songwriter, so she speaks from In between, The Babies perform “an experience. She also lends her musical assortment of structures we enjoy or talent to the group’s shows, making maybe haven’t done in a while.” up Bluebird Cafe-worthy songs on the Chalmers says each show is differ- spot to hilarious effects. ent depending on specific holidays, “People keep coming up saying, ‘I themes or ideas for highlighting the am still singing that tampon song,’” musical contributions of Richardson, troupe member Tom Chalmers points Batenhorst (who also plays guitar) and out. Price. “That was a big one,” Richardson Comedy troupes in New York or says with a laugh. “I didn’t know Chicago tend to have an accompanist, ‘Tampon Song’ and ‘Applesauce’ Chalmers notes, but in Asheville, Price would be my greatest hits.” FOREVER YOUNG: Over their nine years as a comedy troupe Reasonably Priced Ba- sets the Babies apart. The musician Reasonably Priced Babies return to has a background in local theater, per- Ambrose West on Friday, Jan. 17. The bies’ members have learned to trust each other. “You have to practice with your team,” says Kim Richardson (far right with, from left, Karen Stobbe, Tom Chalmers, Mondy forming in such shows as the 2011 N.C. troupe also performs at Black Mountain Stage production of Hedwig and the Center for the Arts on Friday, Jan. 24. Carter, Josh Batenhorst and Aaron Price). “It’s not that you’re going to anticipate what they’re going to say or do, but you can offer something and know that person is going Angry Inch. His role with the comedy The collective, which takes its name to take it and really make a great scene of it.” Photo by Chris Cassels collective includes subtly upping the from a joke about an orphanage offer- humor quotient with song snippets and ing children at affordable rates, came sounds. “I’ve gotten to know my key- together in 2011. Members Mondy Theatre’s original location. Richardson current monthly residency at Ambrose board really well,” he says. “Where’s Carter and Karen Stobbe approached joined after the Babies had moved to the West as well as shows around the region the bagpipes? Do I have Japanese Chalmers about a “Sunday drop-in (now defunct) Altamont Theatre. and at benefits and other functions. (The Kabuki drums?” improv jam kind of thing, and I was like, In fact, Chalmers jokes, “We do have a Babies are also regularly voted No. 2 Best Price’s playing also informs scenes ‘ehhhh,’” Chalmers recalls. “But then delightful history of performing at venues Comedy Group in Xpress’ annual Best of in the moment. “In improvising, every- they came back and said, ‘Magnetic that ultimately close.” The back room at WNC readers poll.) thing is information,” Richardson says. [Theatre] would love to have a resident the former Lexington Avenue Brewery Shows are generally in short form — “Everything is input.” troupe.’ … I was like, ‘That’s different.’” was among those spots. But Chalmers “Closer to the ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’ And, in a way, improv serves as Chalmers invited Josh Batenhorst to also points to each consecutive location format,” says Batenhorst. input to everything else in the lives of join, and the collective added musician as upward momentum in the comedy “We go in with a written-in-pencil the Babies’ members. Notably, Carter Aaron Price while at The Magnetic troupe’s tenure, eventually leading to its show order, just like a band would,” says and Stobbe — who moved to the area
HILLMAN BEER
32 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM to care for Stobbe’s parents as they dealt with Alzheimer’s disease — WHO applied the rules of improvisation to Reasonably Priced Babies caregiving techniques. “Being with her father in the days leading to his death, WHERE Karen was struck by the surprising Ambrose West similarities between improvisational 312 Haywood Road acting and caregiving for persons with ambrosewest.com dementia,” says the bio on Stoppe and Carter’s TEDMED talk on the subject. WHEN The couple “wrote and performed the Friday, Jan. 17, 8 p.m. show Sometimes You Gotta Laugh, an $5 students/$10 general/$15 VIP educational and entertaining take on Alzheimer’s disease, caregiving, humor WHERE and stress.” Black Mountain Center for the Arts For potential Babies showgoers who 225 W. State St. don’t necessarily know how they feel Black Mountain about the improv format, Chalmers blackmountainarts.org insists, “It’s just funny. … Improv is WHEN how we get there, but I swear you’ll Friday, Jan. 24, 7:30 p.m. $12 laugh a lot, you’ll have a good time.” X
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MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 33 A&E by Bill Kopp [email protected]
Justin Ray releases SWINGING AND SINGING a pair of big band EPs Asheville-based trumpeter Justin involved in the project include fellow Ray has been a member of pop singer Bublé band member Jacob Rodriguez, Michael Bublé’s band for more than bassist Zack Page, trombonist Fletcher 15 years. After a long succession of Peacock and percussionist Matthew world tours, Ray decided that he’d cre- Richmond. ate some new arrangements of classic Singing wasn’t part of Ray’s bag of tricks from the beginning, either. tunes from the big band era, with the About a decade ago, he started experi- ultimate goal of getting Bublé to use menting with vocals merely as a way those arrangements in his band. But of improving his breathing, a critical a funny thing happened on the way to skill for a trumpet player. “And then, that project: Ray instead ended up with as I was singing all these things in my a pair of releases under his own name. practice routines, I thought, ‘I kind of On a hometown break from touring, he like these songs; I want to sing them in celebrates the release of The Basement front of people.’” Ray first sang in front Cove Sessions and The Elephant Sword of a live audience in 2009. Sessions with a Wednesday, Jan. 8, Once this latest project had revealed show at Isis Music Hall. itself as a Justin Ray vehicle rather The dual EP project began its life than a collection of demos, the musi- with a comparatively modest goal. “I cian felt even more comfortable put- started doing the arrangements of stan- ting them together to his own specifi- dards with the idea that maybe I could cations. “I wasn’t originally thinking about Bublé’s style,” he says. “The only sell them to Bublé,” Ray says. “And THE SONG IS YOU: Though it began as a series of arrangement demos for Canadian reference I was using for the writing of then, as I started doing the arrange- singer Michael Bublé, the latest project from trumpeter-vocalist Justin Ray is a very per- these arrangements was how I wanted ments, I thought, ‘I should demo them.’ sonal project that reflects his belief that big band music remains a vital creative idiom. them to sound.” And as I started putting this together, Photo by Frank Zipperer An example of Ray’s fresh take on classics is “I’ll Remember April,” a stan- I realized, ‘I’m writing this for me, not for dard recorded by countless artists in and him.’” beyond the jazz idiom. Most arrange- But the project expanded beyond its ments of the 1942 composition are built original framework. Ray recalls a con- around a romantic string section; Ray’s versation he had with the Canadian pop reading swings. “I was trying to find the singer/musician a few years ago. “There’s place between the slower string ballad no original music in the Bublé catalog stuff and up-tempo,” he explains. “This that swings,” he explains. “All the swing was the area where I thought I could stuff is old. And he was mentioning how find the most new ground.” much he didn’t like new, original swing Ray’s new EPs aren’t a stylistic music. And I almost agreed with him at throwback, though. “I wanted to make the time.” swinging big band music, but I didn’t That conversation got the trumpeter want it to be a ’20s/’30s tribute,” he thinking. He asked himself, “Do I think says. “This is a style that can be vibrant that [swing] is dead?” And that reflection and communicative now. I feel like led to inspiration. “I was like, ‘Well, if I everything is possible, even contained don’t think it’s dead, I’m not just going to inside this genre that is 100 years old. arrange other people’s songs; I’m gonna “I started this as a way to get write songs as well.’” arrangements for Bublé,” Ray says. WICKED WEED BREWING And that’s exactly what he did. Over the “And I ended up with something that course of a few years — and in between was more personal than I thought.” X his touring commitments with Bublé — he recorded two collections of songs. The Basement Cove Sessions features new, big band arrangements of classics; The WHO Elephant Sword Sessions spotlights Ray Justin Ray singing, playing and leading a big band on and his Big Band his original compositions. WHERE Though he studied at the famed Berklee Isis Music Hall College of Music, Ray’s experience didn’t 743 Haywood Road include audio production or engineering isisasheville.com work. Those are skills he developed after moving from New York City to Asheville WHEN in 2008. Despite the rich big band sound Wednesday, Jan. 8, 8:30 p.m. of his EPs, both were recorded using a $20 advance/$25 at the door select coterie of musicians. Local players
34 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM A&E SMART BETS
by Edwin Arnaudin | Send your arts news to [email protected]
HUMOR BUTTON Asheville Mardi Gras Twelfth Night Harlem Globetrotters Also known as Epiphany Eve, Twelfth Night is celebrated on the last of the 12 days The Harlem Globetrotters’ 2020 Pushing the Limits world tour promises “even of Christmas, after which it’s unlucky to leave Christmas decorations up, according bigger moments and memories, including a live world record attempt at each to some. For others (arguably those with more of a proclivity for fun), it’s a night for game,” according to a press release. If anyone can make that happen, it’s likely the revelry and cake, and — according to the invite for the Monday, Jan. 6, Asheville Mardi Globetrotters, known for their brand of on-court antics paired with jaw-dropping Gras Twelfth Night Celebration — “Whoever finds the Mardi Gras baby in his or her skills. Just last year, the team achieved five new titles during Guinness World slice will pick a royal consort, and the two will lead the Asheville Mardi Gras Parade Records Day, including “Most basketball under the leg tumbles in one minute as newly crowned royalty.” DJ Chilligan will spin tunes at the party, held at Eleven on (female)” by Torch George — the first woman Globetrotter to set a Guinness Grove. Queen Jax will emcee, and costumes are suggested but not required. Free to record. The 2020 tour includes a Sunday, Jan. 5, game at U.S. Cellular Center. current Asheville Mardi Gras members/$10 nonmembers. ashevillemardigras.org. Photo Preshow Magic Pass ($22) events run 1:30-2 p.m., with a game at 3 p.m. Tickets of 2019 King Elizabeth “Eboo” Sauls, left, and Queen Nicole White by Jennifer Bennett start at $26.50. ticketmaster.com. Photo courtesy of the Harlem Globetrotters
A Sandburg Story Slam
“Carl Sandburg traveled across the country, worked with people from all walks of life and learned from their perspectives,” says Carl Sandburg Home National Historic Site park superintendent Polly Angelakis. “His genuine interest and care for oth- ers is what made him such a strong voice for the people.” On the beloved author and poet’s birthday, storytell- ers from across the region will pres- ent true stories at the Henderson County Library’s Kaplan Auditorium Sandra E. Johnson in Hendersonville. A panel of judg- es will award $100 for first place, “Some authors emerged from the womb knowing they wanted to be writers,” says South Carolina-based author Sandra E. Johnson. “Not me.” She parlayed a lifelong $74 for second and $50 for third. love of books into two published works (one dealing with social justice, the other fic- “Park staff will emcee the event and tional). Then, while employed at the South Carolina Department of Corrections, she share brief stories from Sandburg’s created a 30-day meditation journal for inmates in weekly group sessions she led. She life,” says a press release. Monday, realized, “The 30-day journal had the potential for being a yearlong one that could Jan. 6, 5-7 p.m. Free to attend. nps. help anyone wanting to improve the quality of their lives through mindfulness,” lead- gov/carl. Photo of Sandburg, circa ing to the publication of The Mind-Body Peace Journal, which includes inspirational 1941, from NBC, courtesy of the Carl quotes, tips and prompts. Johnson presents the 366-day journal at Malaprop’s on Sandburg Home Monday, Jan. 6, 6 p.m. Free. malaprops.com. Photo courtesy of the author
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 35 A & E CALENDAR
zapow.com. Free. Held dance. Advanced ART at ZaPow!, 150 Coxe SPOKEN & dance at 6 pm. Early WRITTEN WORD Ave., Suite 101 rounds at 7 pm. Free. BUNCOMBE COUNTY Held at Whitmire PUBLIC LIBRARIES HIDDEN VOICES BANNED BOOK CLUB Activity Center, • FR (1/10) - Asheville buncombecounty. 310 Lily Pond Road, • 1st & 3rd SATUR- org/governing/depts/ Poverty Initiative holds DAYS, 10am - Banned Hendersonville library auditions for the first Book Club. Free to • MO (1/6), 10am- annual Asheville's Hid- attend. Held at Blue noon - Itch to Stitch, den Voices, an evening MUSIC Ridge Books, 428 a casual knitting and with 10 of the city’s Hazelwood Ave., needlework group for best musical talents Waynesville ACAPELLA - SINGING all skill levels. Free. who live below the VALENTINE (PD.) Held at Weaverville poverty line. Schedule BUNCOMBE COUNTY Help out Cupid this PUBLIC LIBRARIES Public Library, 41 N. an audition time, Valentines Day! buncombecounty. Main St., Weaverville 828-232-2149 or ashe- Quartet brings singing org/governing/depts/ • TU (1/7), 6pm - Spin- villepovertyinitiative@ Valentines to your library WHITE LABS KITCHEN & TAP ning Yarns knitting and gmail.com. Hidden home, business, or res- • TU (1/2), 1pm - crochet group. Free. Voices is planned taurant. Order at www. Leicester Library Held at Skyland/South for Monday, Feb. 24 ashevillebarbershop. Creative Writing Buncombe Library, 260 at Grey Eagle. Held com 866.290.7269 Group is open to Overlook Road at Trinity United Methodist Church, 587 adults who want to AFRICAN DRUM LEICESTER write children's books. Haywood Road LESSONS AT SKINNY COMMUNITY ART Meetings include NIGHTS BEATS SOUND SHOP (PD.) writing exercises and • 1st TUESDAYS, DANCE Wednesdays 6pm. group discussions. Par- 6:30pm - Community Billy Zanski teaches ticipants are welcome art night for children COUNTRY DANCE W/ a fun approach to to bring 500 words and adults. Free. Held TWO-STEP DANCE connecting with your of original writing at Leicester Commu- LESSON SATURDAY, inner rhythm. Drop-ins to share. Free. Held nity Center, 2979 New JANUARY 11TH welcome. • Drums at Leicester Library, Leicester Highway, 7 to 10:30pm. Asheville provided. $15/class. 1561 Alexander Road, Leicester Ballroom. Includes Leicester Two-Step lesson 7 (828) 768-2826. www. skinnybeatsdrums.com • TU (1/7), 7pm - Book to 8pm. Dancing 8 Club: How to Walk ART/CRAFT to 10:30pm. Online THE VILLAGE SONG Away by Katherine STROLLS discount $11 at www. LEADER (PD.) & FAIRS Center. Free. Held at danceforlife.dance. Want to learn how Enka-Candler Library, $13 at door. Contact to start and lead a 1404 Sandhill Road, FIRST FRIDAY ART Richard: 828-333-0715, Singing Group? Here’s Candler WALKS naturalrichard@mac. your chance. Training • TU (1/7), 7pm - • 1st FRIDAYS, 5-8pm com. will be held over two Evening Book Club: - Downtown Asheville consecutive weekends Little Paris Bookshop First Friday Art Walks TWO NEW DANCE CLASSES START- beginning February 28. by Nina George. Free. with more than 25 ING WEDNESDAY, For more information, Held at Weaverville galleries within a half JANUARY 8TH (PD.) mypantssing@gmail. Public Library, 41 N. mile radius of historic 7-8 PM: Nightclub com. Main St., Weaverville downtown Asheville. (beginner) and 8-9 • TU (1/7), 7pm - Robin Free to attend. Held at PM: Two-Step (Inter- ASHEVILLE DRUM Russell Gaiser presents Downtown Asheville, mediate). Asheville CIRCLE her book, Open for Biltmore Ave/College Ballroom. Online • FRIDAYS, 6-9:50pm Lunch. Free. Held at St. discount $70 at www. - Asheville outdoor Fairview Library, 1 danceforlife.dance. drum circle. Free. Held Taylor Road, Fairview $75 at door. Contact at Pritchard Park, 4 • FR (1/8), AUDITIONS Richard: 828-333-0715, College St. 3pm - Weaverville & CALL TO naturalrichard@mac. Afternoon Book Club: ARTISTS com. NEBRASKA WESLEYAN Bowlaway by Elizabeth ARTSCAPE BANNER OFFICE WORKER’S UNIVERSITY CHOIR McCracken. Free. Held BEAN WERKS COFFEE & TEA WARM UP at Weaverville Public • Through SA (1/18) - • SU (1/5), 7pm - • MONDAYS until Library, 41 N. Main St., Applications accepted Nebraska Wesleyan (1/2), noon - Office Weaverville for artists who wish University Choir con- Worker's Warm Up • WE (1/8), 4pm - Our to participate in the cert. Admission by with Coco Palmer focus is creating a 2020 ArtScape Banner donation. Held at First Dolce helps relieve supportive and fun Project in downtown Presbyterian Church stress by releasing environment for writ- Hendersonville. Infor- Asheville, 40 Church back, neck and ers through exercises mation: artscapehvl. St. shoulders. Registration: and discussions. Open org. avl.mx/6m2. $12. Held WOMANSONG OF to adults and teens ASHEVILLE CALL TO WNC at Henry LaBrun Studio 15 and older. Free. ARTISTS at Wortham Center for • MONDAYS, 7-9pm Held at Skyland/South • Until SA (2/1) - Call the Performing Arts, - Community chorus Buncombe Library, 260 to WNC illustrators 18 Biltmore Ave. rehearsals open to Overlook Road and narrative artists potential members. • TH (1/9), 6pm - SOUTHERN LIGHTS for the second annual SQUARE AND Free. Held at Unitarian Swannanoa Book Club juried open show in ROUND DANCE CLUB Universalist Congrega- Reads My Brilliant March. To apply email • SA (1/4), 6pm - tion of Asheville, 1 Friend by Elena two jpgs to Lauren@ Happy New Year Edwin Place Ferrante. Free. Held
36 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM GALLERY DIRECTORY
at Swannanoa Library, Busy Professional's versation with Joanne 101 West Charleston Guide to Reducing O'Sullivan. Free to St., Swannanoa Stress, Accomplishing attend. Goals and Mastering COMMUNITY STORYTELLING Adaptability. Free to NC WRITERS SLAM attend. NETWORK • MO (1/6), 5-7pm • TH (1/2), 7pm - • TH (1/9), 6-7:30pm Crime and Politics - Carl Sandburg - The Resolution Will Home NHS hosts a Book Club reads The Not Be Televised: community storytell- Suspicions of Mr. ing slam on Carl Whicher: A Shocking Writers Discuss 2020 Sandburg’s Birthday. Murder and the Goals, generative writ- Regional storytellers Undoing of a Great ing from prompt(s). share true five-minute Victorian Detective Free to attend. Held by Kate Summerscale. stories with a live at The BLOCK off HOPEY & audience. Free. Held Free to attend. biltmore, 39 S. Market CAPTION at Henderson County • FR (1/3), 6pm - Mark Public Library, 301 Powell presents his St. COMPANY N. Washington St., book, Firebird. Free NEW DIMENSIONS Hendersonville to attend. TOASTMASTERS • SU (1/5), 3pm FIRESTORM BOOKS - Monthly poetry • THURSDAYS, & COFFEE event featuring Brit noon-1pm - General 610 Haywood Road, Washburn, author meeting. Information: Nov. 16-Jan. 7 and a series of prints on 828-255-8115, ART GALLERY of Notwithstanding, 67 Broadway display at the Rotunda firestorm.coop 828-329-4190. Free EXHIBITIONS Katie Bowler Young, • TH (1/2), 6-7:30pm to attend. Held at Gallery. Reception: author of Through DOWNTOWN BOOKS - Hear your written & NEWS Saturday, Dec. 7, 2-4pm. Water with Ease and Asheville Area Habitat ART AT MARS HILL apology read aloud. UNIVERSITY • Exhibition of paintings Dec. 7-Jan. 7 Jennifer Sperry for Humanity, 33 Free to attend. • Elements of Hand and by Cheryl Eugenia Barnes. 310 Keener St., Sylva Steinorth, author of Meadow Road • First SUNDAYS, Mind, exhibition of historic Reception: Friday, Dec. A Wake with Nine ONTRACK WNC 5pm - Political prison- Southern Highland crafts. 13, 7-9pm. Shades. Free to THOMAS WOLFE ers letter writing. Free Nov. 13-Jan. 25 Dec. 13-Feb. 29 • Völuspá Vision Story – attend. SHORT STORY to attend. 80 Cascade St., Mars Hill 67 N. Lexington Ave. Valeria Watson explores • MO (1/6), • TH (1/9), 5:30-7pm Norse Mythology 6pm - Sandra E. FLETCHER LIBRARY - A monthly Thomas ASHEVILLE AREA ARTS FLOOD GALLERY FINE focusing on the witch or Johnson presents her COUNCIL ART CENTER 120 Library Road, Wolfe Book Club wise woman and her role book, The Mind-Body • Through Our View We • Mixed media by John Fletcher, 828-687- with a local educator in prophecy. Reception: 1218, library.hender- Peace Journal: 366 Find, group exhibition Bauman titled Ancient leading discussion of Friday, Dec. 6, 6-8pm. soncountync.org Mindful Prompts for curated by Elliot Kulwiec. Stones Speaking; Petro- Dec. 6-Jan. 5 • 2nd THURSDAYS, Serenity & Clarity. a pre-selected short Dec. 6-Jan. 10 glyphs and Storytelling 348 Depot St. 10:30am - Book Club. Free to attend. story by Thomas 207 Coxe Ave. done in the ancestors way • MO (1/6), 7pm - Wolfe. Free. Held at including native American Free. ASHEVILLE ART POSANA CAFE LGBTQ Book Club spiritual artwork, • 2nd THURSDAYS, Thomas Wolfe Memo- MUSEUM • Transportation, 12 reads Felt in the Jaw petroglyphs, walking 1:30pm - Writers' rial, 52 N. Market St. • AppalachiaNow!: An by Kristen N. Arnett. sticks and dream catchers. local artists relate to the Guild. Free. Interdisciplinary Survey Free to attend. Artist reception: Saturday, notion of transportation. WOMEN IN LIVELY of Contemporary Art in LEARN ITALIAN • TU (1/7), 6pm - Mark Jan.4, 6-9pm. Opening reception: DISCUSSION BOOK Southern Appalachia, • MONDAYS in de Castrique presents Jan. 4-Jan. 31 Wednesday, Nov. 12, CLUB exhibition featuring January, 2-4:30pm - his book, Murder in 850 Blue Ridge Road, Unit 6-8pm. • MO (1/6), 7pm a collective survey of Stimulate your mind Rat Alley set in the A-13, Black Mountain Nov. 13-Feb. 10 contemporary Southern and join with Saluda Asheville area. Free to - Women in Lively 1 Biltmore Ave. Appalachian culture. GALLERY 1 SYLVA Sister City in learning attend. Discussion Book Club Nov. 14-Feb. 3 Italian with Giuliana • WE (1/8), 6pm - Abi- reads Cold Comfort • Small Wonders, THE WEDGE STUDIOS 2 S. Pack Square paintings, photographhy, Polinari Riley, a native gail Dewitt presents Farm by Stella • The WOWS - Women of of Italy. Anticipate fee wood, printmaking, jew- WhiteSPACE, five women her book, News of Gibbons, illustrated ASHEVILLE GALLERY $35-$60 for the four Our Loved Ones. Free OF ART elry and glass. Reception: painters show their works. by Roz Chast. Free Friday, Dec. 6, 5pm. THE CASUAL classes depending to attend. • A Life of Art, features Reception: Saturday, Dec. to attend. Held at Dec. 6-Feb. 29 on enrollment with • WE (1/8), 6pm - Rita works by three new 7, 5-9pm. 604 West Main St., Sylva book Italian Made Sims Quillen presents Battery Park Book members, Robin Wethe Dec. 7-Jan. 7 PINT CRAFT Simple by Cristina her book, Wayland, Exchange, 1 Page Altman, Tina Honerkamp HAYWOOD COUNTY 129 Roberts St. Mazzoni, $11 online. in conversation with Ave., #101 and Deb Sholly. Recep- ARTS COUNCIL BEERMARKET Registration 828- Abigail DeWitt. Free tion: Friday, Jan. 3, 5-8 86 N. Main St., WINDOW 489-6578 or JDT@ to attend. p.m. Waynesville • Feed, exhibition of site JDThompsonLaw. • WE (1/8), 7pm - THEATER Jan. 1-Jan. 31 • It's a Small, Small Work, specific work by Kirsten com. Held at Saluda Malaprop’s Book Club 82 Patton Ave. group exhibition of over Stolle as part of the Center, 64 Greenville reads The Horse's 240 small works. DISNEY'S 'FROZEN CENTER FOR CRAFT Terrain Biennual. St., Saluda Mouth by Joyce Cary. Nov. 1-Jan. 4 JR' • Making Meaning, Sept. 6-Jan. 6 Free to attend. • It’s A Small, Small Work, MALAPROP'S 14 UNC Asheville 54 Broadway • TH (1/9), 6pm - Dr. • THURSDAYS features 62 artists and BOOKSTORE AND alumni whose work CAFE Kathleen Smith through SUNDAYS ~240 works that are no WINE DOWN ON MAIN shifts perceptions of 55 Haywood St., 828- presents her larger than 12x 12x 12”. (1/9) until (1/19) - material, method and • Exhibition of works by 254-6734, malaprops. book, Everything Isn't Dec. 1-Jan. 4 Frozen Jr, musical. meaning, creating new Margaret Newton. Sales com Terrible: Conquer Thurs.-Sat.: 7pm, Sun.: vocabularies in clay, digital benefit the Transylvania • TH (1/2), 6pm Your Insecurities, JACKSON COUNTY media, photography, PUBLIC LIBRARY County Humane Society. - Michael Diettrich- Interrupt Your 2 or 4pm. $12. Held at printmaking, assemblage • Jenean Hornbuckle's Oct. 24-Jan. 17 Chastain presents his Anxiety, and Finally The Magnetic Theatre, and textiles. new landscape paintings 28 E Main St. Brevard book, Changes: The Calm Down, in con- 375 Depot St.
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 37 CLUBLAND
PARAMOUNT BRISTOL
SCHOOL OF THOUGHT: Highlights of the 20-year career of stand-up comedian Mo Alexander, from Tennessee, include television appearances with Kevin Hart and a headlining run in Las Vegas with The Mo Funny Show. He made history in 2019 by becoming the first comedian to record an album at Sun Studio in Memphis, Tenn. Alexander will perform at LaZoom Room on Thursday, Jan. 16, at 7:30 p.m. $10. lazoomtours.com/lazoom-room. Photo courtesy of the artist
SMOKY PARK SUPPER CLUB
38 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM HIGHLAND ISIS RESTAURANT BREWING CO. AND MUSIC HALL
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SALVAGE NEW BELGIUM STATION BREWING
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40 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM Local
THE GREY EAGLE
CRUSH ON YOU: Local collective Wednesday describes its vibe as “Southern synth- pop grunge.” The band’s second album, I Was Trying to Describe You to Someone, will be released in February by Orindal Records. Western North Carolina electronic project Walkhome and Toss from Raleigh open the Saturday, Jan. 4, performance at The Mothlight at 9 p.m. themothlight.com. Photo by Zach Romeo
ONE WORLD LOCAL 604 BREWING BOTTLE SHOP
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NATIVE KITCHEN AND SOCIAL PUB
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 43 MOVIE REVIEWS Hosted by the THIS WEEK’S CONTRIBUTORS Asheville Movie Guys EDWIN ARNAUDIN BRUCE STEELE [email protected] [email protected] Douglas Lucas HHHHH = MAX RATING Davidson McKee H H PICK OF THE WEEK conit gra Simedi ponscidem andum duci [FILLER TEXT] Evit pertilin se fori se tus patis. ponsunt emoridemus ad por habem inte Ciem, que is cum temuliquast L. Mo occiost nequis sin novem intis ommorsu- Catiqua Senirtessen tium imis esentiam labi pos, P. Bonstan dierra nondet is tes- simolius con arit prat vidempl issilius citi- iam habit gra? Fuiur la pro iam inprit mis, que re, sene cla conemedefata manu in viricidem, postrac hicaequa ve, quiu mo intiossi sentili ntilne no. Pimanum, mor labenatio ad num acerorum, notiu vidiu quist aperfecruro in din intertil vem aucioriciam ia cons vid abemus cae horaellarici peraver cerferiam et aperi- cus, verit, me num Rommo Catrivi squi- det; effre te depsendiu condam es nover- tum hos st remus fui popublin viussa ia? diisque hosule paresit estrobs enatur. O tem est audactate ilicierunte fue Effrem maximus lis ad Catiu vis in temus publibus, en auctu que con senis. Fur. Di etisquit, novidin interesesta et essimaio paresit estrobs enatur. Effrem maximus erum tus fui cre accie iam por invo, lis ad Catiu vis in temus etisquit, novidin Maiorio, fac tus hos esescidepone interesesta et essimaio essis si ponsus Spies in Disguise aus tanu manum fuiti, nihicam actertu- mei puli pultor que con tus, vit ficaedeo dam ace tat puleribut pecul vestam. con- virmac tese autum lintien dampotis. HHHH cepere, conem, que et quonsulles actusse Factum dinpro, ut C. Odiore con ium. Si que audam sensulu demnius, con tati, faucta, siliis sicaestem iam hocupic aper- aute tenem condam tre noneris viri in fec vivilici [FILLER TEXT] DIRECTOR: Nick Bruno and Tom Holland and Rashida Jones sendem ortimius etium ina atum nostra Troy Quane ANIMATED/ADVENTURE videm obus es patabunum nonem ta, REVIEWED BY DOUGLAS DAVIDSON PLAYERS: The voices of Will Smith, RATED PG tust? Otemunt ilicaelute, ublissus aus [email protected]
Spies in Disguise aute tenem condam tre noneris viri in Star Wars: The Rise of sendem ortimius etium ina atum nostra HHHHS sendem ortimius etium ina atum nostra HHHHS videm obus es patabunum nonem ta, tust? videm obus es patabunum nonem ta, tust? Skywalker Otemunt ilicaelute, ublissus aus conit gra DIRECTOR: Nick Bruno and Otemunt ilicaelute, ublissus aus conit gra DIRECTOR: J.J. Abrams Simedi ponscidem andum duci se tus Troy Quane PLAYERS: Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Simedi ponscidem andum duci se tus patis. PLAYERS: The voices of Will Smith, John Boyega patis. Tom Holland and Rashida Jones ACTION/ADVENTURE Ciem, que is cum temuliquast L. Mo ANIMATED/ADVENTURE Ciem, que is cum temuliquast L. Mo RATED PG-13 Catiqua Senirtessen tium imis esentiam RATED PG Catiqua Senirtessen tium imis esentiam [FILLER TEXT] Evit pertilin se fori iam habit gra? Fuiur la pro iam inprit in [FILLER TEXT] Evit pertilin se fori iam habit gra? Fuiur la pro iam inprit in ponsunt emoridemus ad por habem inte viricidem, postrac hicaequa ve, quiu mor viricidem, postrac hicaequa ve, quiu mor ponsunt emoridemus ad por habem inte occiost nequis sin novem intis ommorsu- labenatio ad num acerorum, notiu vem occiost nequis sin novem intis ommorsu- labenatio ad num acerorum, notiu vem labi pos, P. Bonstan dierra nondet is tes- aucioriciam ia cons vid abemus cae cus, labi pos, P. Bonstan dierra nondet is tes- aucioriciam ia cons vid abemus cae cus, simolius con arit prat vidempl issilius citi- simolius con arit prat vidempl issilius citi- mis, que re, sene cla conemedefata manu verit, me num Rommo Catrivi squidiisque verit, me num Rommo Catrivi squidiisque mis, que re, sene cla conemedefata manu mo intiossi sentili ntilne no. Pimanum, hosule paresit estrobs enatur. Effrem max- hosule paresit estrobs enatur. Effrem max- mo intiossi sentili ntilne no. Pimanum, vidiu quist aperfecruro in din intertil imus lis ad Catiu vis in temus etisquit, vidiu quist aperfecruro in din intertil imus lis ad Catiu vis in temus etisquit, horaellarici peraver cerferiam et aperidet; novidin interesesta et essimaio erum tus horaellarici peraver cerferiam et aperidet; novidin interesesta et essimaio erum tus effre te depsendiu condam es novertum effre te depsendiu condam es novertum fui cre accie iam por invo, hos st remus fui popublin viussa ia? fui cre accie iam por invo, hos st remus fui popublin viussa ia? O tem est audactate ilicierunte fue pub- Maiorio, fac tus hos esescidepone mei Maiorio, fac tus hos esescidepone mei O tem est audactate ilicierunte fue pub- libus, en auctu que con senis. Fur. Di puli pultor que con tus, vit ficaedeo vir- libus, en auctu que con senis. Fur. Di puli pultor que con tus, vit ficaedeo vir- paresit estrobs enatur. Effrem maximus mac tese autum lintien dampotis. Factum paresit estrobs enatur. Effrem maximus mac tese autum lintien dampotis. Factum lis ad Catiu vis in temus etisquit, novidin lis ad Catiu vis in temus etisquit, novidin dinpro, ut C. Odiore con ium. Si faucta, interesesta et essimaio essis si ponsus aus dinpro, ut C. Odiore con ium. Si faucta, interesesta et essimaio essis si ponsus aus siliis sicaestem iam hocupic aperfec vivilici tanu manum fuiti, nihicam actertudam siliis sicaestem iam hocupic aperfec vivilici tanu manum fuiti, nihicam actertudam ace tat puleribut pecul vestam. conce- [FILLER TEXT] [FILLER TEXT] ace tat puleribut pecul vestam. conce- pere, conem, que et quonsulles actusse pere, conem, que et quonsulles actusse REVIEWED BY LUCAS MCKEE que audam sensulu demnius, con tati, REVIEWED BY LUCAS MCKEE que audam sensulu demnius, con tati, [email protected] aute tenem condam tre noneris viri in [email protected]
44 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM SCREEN SCENE
by Edwin Arnaudin | [email protected]
The monthly Silent Sundays series continues at Grail Moviehouse, 45 S. French Broad Ave., on Jan. 5, at 7 p.m., with Captain January (1924). Edward F. Cline’s drama stars Baby Peggy as the titular heroine who washed ashore as an infant and was raised by an elderly lighthouse keeper, whose fail- ing health hinders his ability to care for her. Film historian Frank Thompson will introduce the film and participate in a post-screening Q&A. Local multi- GUIDING LIGHTS: Baby Peggy and instrumentalist/composer Gabrielle Hobart Bosworth star in Captain Tee will provide a live, improvised January, the latest selection in Grail piano score. Tickets are $12 and avail- Moviehouse’s Silent Sundays series. able online or at the Grail box office. X STARTING WEDNESDAY Photo courtesy of Grapevine Video grailmoviehouse.com
63 Up (NR) HHHHH
Little Women (PG) HHHHH (Pick of the Week)
Uncut Gems (R) HHHHH
JUST ANNOUNCED
Spies in Disguise (PG) An animated action/comedy about an espionage gadget inventor (voiced by Tom Holland) thrust into the field when his agent friend (Will Smith) needs his help.
CURRENTLY IN THEATERS
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (PG-13) HHHH Black Christmas (PG-13) HS
Bombshell (R) HHHH MOVIES & MEANING Cats (PG) H Fantastic Fungi (NR) HHHH Ford v Ferrari (PG-13) HHHHS Frozen II (PG) HHS Honey Boy (R) HHHHS Jumanji: The Next Level (PG-13) HHHS Knives Out (PG-13) HHHHH Parasite (R) HHHHH Queen & Slim (R) HHHHS Richard Jewell (R) HHHH
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (PG-13) HHHHS
MOUNTAINX.COM JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 45 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY MARKETPLACE
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “We are all hostages of the LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci worked on REAL ESTATE | RENTALS | ROOMMATES | SERVICES his painting The Last Supper from 1495 to 1498. It’s a joy of which we deprive ourselves,’ wrote poet Odysseus JOBS | ANNOUNCEMENTS | MIND, BODY, SPIRIT Elytis. Isn’t that an astounding idea? That we refuse to big piece — about 15 by 29 feet. That’s one reason why allow ourselves to experience some of the bliss and he took so long to finish. But there was another explana- CLASSES & WORKSHOPS | MUSICIANS’ SERVICES pleasure we could easily have; and that we are immured tion, too. He told his patron, the Duke of Milan, that he PETS | AUTOMOTIVE | XCHANGE | ADULT inside that suppressed bliss and pleasure? I call on you, sometimes positioned himself in front of his painting- in-progress and simply gazed at and thought about it, Aries, to rebel against this human tendency. As I see it, Want to advertise in Marketplace? 828-251-1333 [email protected] • one of your main tasks in 2020 is to permit yourself to not lifting a brush. Those were times he did some of his hardest work, he said. I trust you will have regular experi- mountainx.com/classifieds welcome more bliss, to aggressively seize more pleasure, ences like that in 2020, Libra. Some of your best efforts and thereby free yourself from the rot of its nullification. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Remember the Russian proverb: “Doveryai, will arise out of your willingness and ability to incubate no proveryai,” trust but verify. When answering classified ads, always err on the side your good ideas with concentrated silence and patience. of caution. Especially beware of any party asking you to give them financial TAURUS (April 20-May 20): At age 22, Taurus-born or identification information. The Mountain Xpress cannot be responsible for Dutch citizen Willem de Kooning sneaked into the SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): By 1895, Henry James ensuring that each advertising client is legitimate. Please report scams to [email protected] United States. He was a stowaway on an Argentina- had already published 94 books. He was renowned bound freighter, and stealthily disembarked when the in the U.S. and England and had written the works ship made a stop in Virginia. As he lived in America that would later lead to him being considered for during subsequent decades, he became a renowned a Nobel Prize. Then, at age 52, although he was painter who helped pioneer the movement known not physically fit, he decided to learn how to ride as abstract expressionism. His status as an illegal a bicycle. He paid for lessons at a bicycle academy immigrant rarely presented any obstacles to his and cheerfully tolerated bruises and cuts from his growing success and stature. Not until age 57 did frequent falls as an acceptable price to pay for his he finally became an American citizen. I propose new ability. I admire James’ determination to keep we make him one of your role models in 2020. May transforming. Let’s make him a role model for you he inspire you to capitalize on being a maverick, in 2020. May he inspire you to keep adding new outsider or stranger. May he encourage you to aptitudes as you outgrow your previous successes. find opportunities beyond your safety zone. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When Sagittarian composer Ludwig van Beethoven created the GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When British novelist E. Eroica symphony in the early 1800s, many observers M. Forster was in his late 30s, he had sex with another panned it. They said its rhythms were eccentric, that person for the first time. Before that he had published it was too long. One critic said it was ”glaring and five novels. After that, he produced just one more bizarre,“ while another condemned its ”undesirable novel, though he lived till age 91. Why? Was he having originality.“ This same critic concluded, ”Genius too much fun? Looking back from his old, age, he proclaims itself not in the unusual and fantastic but remarked that he would ”have been a more famous in the beautiful and sublime.“ Today, of course, writer if I had published more, but sex prevented the Eroica has a different reputation. It’s regarded as latter.“ I suspect that sensual pleasure and intimacy a breakthrough event in musical history. I’ll go on will have the exact opposite effect on you in 2020, record here, Sagittarius, to say that I suspect you Gemini. In sometimes mysterious ways, they will created your own personal version of Eroica in 2019. make you more productive in your chosen sphere. 2020 is the year it will get the full appreciation it deserves, although it may take a while. Be patient. CANCER (June 21-July 22): ”Every part of our person- ality that we do not love will regress and become hostile CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m going to speculate to us,“ wrote poet Robert Bly. I don’t know anyone who that sometime in the next six months, you will experi- doesn’t suffer from this problem at least a little. That’s ence events that years from now you’ll look back the bad news. The good news for us Cancerians (yes, I’m on as having been the beginning of a fresh universe a Crab!) is that 2020 will be a favorable time to engage in for you. What should you call this launch? I suggest you consider elegant terms like ”Destiny Rebirth“ a holy crusade to fix this glitch: to feel and express more or ”Fate Renewal“ rather than a cliché like the ”Big love for parts of our personality that we have dismissed Bang.” And how should you celebrate it? As if it were or marginalized. The result? Any self-sabotage we have the Grand Opening of the rest of your long life. suffered from in the past could dramatically diminish. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 2020, I believe you will LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As a young adult, Leo-born be able to summon the insight and kismet necessary to Raymond Chandler worked as a fruit-picker, tennis resolve at least one long-running problem and probably racquet-stringer and bookkeeper. At age 34, he began more. You’ll have an enhanced ability to kick bad habits a clerical job at the Dabney Oil Syndicate and eventually and escape dead-ends and uncover liberating truths rose in the ranks to become a well-paid executive. The about mysteries that have flustered you. Frustrations cushy role lasted until he was 44, when he was fired. and irritations you’ve grudgingly tolerated for far too He mourned for a while, then decided to become an much time will finally begin to wane. Congratulations in author of detective fiction. It took a while, but at age 50, advance, Aquarius! The hard work you do to score these he published his first novel. During the next 20 years, triumphs won’t always be delightful, but it could provide he wrote six additional novels as well as numerous you with a curiously robust and muscular kind of fun. short stories and screenplays — and in the process became popular and influential. I present this synopsis PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Let’s say you wanted to as an inspirational story to fuel your destiny in 2020. dress completely in silk: shirt, pants, vest, scarf, socks, shoes, hat, underwear all made of silk. And let’s say your dream was to grow and process and weave the silk VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The fame of Virgo-born from scratch. You’d start with half an ounce of silkworm Italian poet Ludovico Ariosto (1474–1533) has persisted eggs. They’d hatch into 10,000 silkworms. Eventually through the ages because of Orlando Furioso, an epic those hard-working insects would generate five pounds poem he authored. It tells the story of the Christian of silk — enough to create your entire outfit. So in other knight Orlando and his adoration for a pagan princess. words, you’d be able to generate an array of functional This great work did not come easily to Ariosto. It beauty from a small but concentrated amount of raw wasn’t until he had written 56 versions of it that he was material. By the way, that last sentence is a good descrip- finally satisfied. I suspect you may harbor an equally tion of what I think your general approach should be perfectionist streak about the good works and labors in 2020. And also by the way, dressing in silk wouldn’t of love you’ll craft in 2020. May I suggest you confine be too crazy an idea in the coming months. I hope your experiments to no more than 10 versions? you’ll have fun cultivating your allure, style and flair.
46 JAN. 1 - 7, 2019 MOUNTAINX.COM THE NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE edited by Will Shortz puzzle by Matthew Sewell and Jeff Chen No. 1127
15 Courtroom 46 One of the Wayans 5 Truth, to 40 Palindromic 55 Disparity claim brothers Shakespeare woman’s name 56 Fraternity 16 Zenith Period that’s Extremely 48 6 41 Overlook letter that’s a 17 Singer/actress “ushered in” 7 Away at the homophone of Lenya 50 Payroll dept. IDs moment 47 [Warning: explicit where fraternities 18 “___-daisy!” 52 Catch 40 winks 8 Apple cores, for content] might be found 19 Ungainly boat 53 Diktat short 49 Direction that 57 Feedbag tidbit 20 Central courtyards 54 Son of Aphrodite 9 Après-ski quarters wagon trains 21 Enthusiastic and Ares 10 Where trolls may headed 58 Salute in stanzas Spanish assent 55 Ability of a lurk 51 Annual parade 59 Little hellion 22 Former M&M’s company to 11 Remunerative honoree, color expand … or a 13 Like some shares familiarly 60 Prez in a 23 R&B singer with hint to this puzzle’s and baseball stovepipe hat the 2002 hit theme teams 52 Do a juice “Foolish” 62 “Eureka!” 14 Comparatively tidy cleanse, say 61 Bar code? 25 Tandoori bread 63 Clamor 23 Where records of ANSWER TO PREVIOUS NY TIMES PUZZLE 26 Venomous 64 Entrepreneur’s old web pages vipers deg. can be accessed 28 Delicate surface 65 Herb garden 24 Declaration from for Aboriginal art vessel … as someone on a hot 30 Syrup of ___ depicted four times streak 32 Pittance by black squares 27 Many Caltech 33 Fractional part? in this puzzle grads, for short 34 “You wish!” 66 Classic cowboy 29 Sci-fi sighting 36 Inexperienced nickname 31 Jackie of gamers, in slang 67 Place of worship “Shanghai Noon” 38 Ice Bucket DOWN 32 With 44-Across, Challenge cause, 1 Peak that’s Dutch art dealer for short the home of who supported 39 “Eureka!” California’s longest his artist brother ACROSS 5 Energy source for 12 Pitch in 42 Forest female glacier 33 Fire plants 43 Foldable bed 2 Minor indiscretions 35 Stock market fig. 1 Rejuvenating 8 Word after base 13 Subtitle preceder, 44 See 32-Down 3 Bear claw filling 37 Dreamcast maker resorts or space often 45 Kind of gift 4 Vent violently of old
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