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Daily Reprieve

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Daily Reprieve Let fo te Edi Welcome to the latest edition of the Daily Reprieve, It’s quite alarming with what is happening in the world; everyone’s health is at risk, more financial insecurity, strained relationships, political polarisation and numerous other things which add even more fear and insecurity to our lives. It reminds us of our own rock bottoms and how powerless we actually are. But as we know, we can only focus on our own recovery and this months’ newsletter is a compilation of fellows sharing what their foundation of recovery is. The beautiful thing about the rich tapestry of AA - is that a person with only a few days of sobriety will secure themselves on to different things than a person who perhaps has seventeen years, and in that way, can definitely make a newcomer feel more understood. October is the month where we focus on the tenth step and as we continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, we can promptly admit it. The reason for this is that we continue to grow by exercising self-discovery and we grow the peace outside of us with our friends and family. We are thankful to each and every person who made a contribution and we trust you will enjoy each and every one of them! Until next time, The AA Newsletter Committee Fonin of Recy I am a recovering alcoholic with 3+ years of for the first time I was without that voice in sobriety. At this stage I do these actions to my head that constantly obsesses about a maintain my sobriety: drink. This allowed me to focus on recovery. 1. I am completely honest with my sponsor and send her my 10th step daily I did almost everything my sponsor 2. I do Gratitude list daily exchange with my suggested because I was desperate and it accountability partner was pointed out to me that clearly my way 3. Whenever I feel uncomfortable or irritated didn't work. Willingness and Action are so I do a spot check inventory and send it to important in recovery. Without them, it my sponsor would be impossible to stay sober. Having 4. I attend 2 meetings a week the willingness and taking action will get 5. I get together with my friends in recovery you through the stepwork and keep you in 6. I do service whenever I can. service. In AA I learnt about Acceptance and to see my part in things, which then taught The foundation of my recovery is an me to let go of anger and resentments and acknowledgment that I cannot do it on my to forgive. The 10th step inventory has own and that my Higher Power is with me become a daily routine every night, and it always. has given me so much more self awareness. Through my 10th step email to ~E my sponsor each night, it got me thinking more about others, and it really helped me to become aware of each day that goes by. AA has gifted me with a solid foundation The serenity prayer became my go-to, and a that I never knew I needed. I drank because I prayer I love and still use today. Meditation never knew how to handle the came a year plus into my sobriety and has uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions now become a huge part of my life. Having and situations. And then it became the one quiet time to tune in, feeling connected to a thing that I relied on for everything. The higher power, has filled that gaping hole that more I drank the more disconnected I was, I always tried to fill with alcohol etc. and the more I could only rely on Alcohol. It was a vicious cycle that I did not know how The Big Book and the program of AA really to get out of. I guess we all have to hit our does equip us with a basic toolkit for life. own rock bottom before you get desperate Not just to survive but to thrive. enough to surrender. That was my story at least. The desperation led to surrender ~C which removed that mental obsession and Telg on mel I was talking to a friend recently and he result. Make those amends, and others will intimated that he often struggled with some forgive you on your terms. Have 3 service mental health issues and it was only recently positions and you’ll have three times the that he was able to finally start articulating opportunity for people to praise you for being some of those struggles with his close a good AA boy scout. friends. He also mentioned that it took him many years of trying to stay in control of the At some point along the way, with the gradual situation before he finally arrived at the point increase in pride and arrogance, came more where he had to grudgingly accept that he experiences of friction, discontent and really needed some professional help because judgement with the world and others around it was beyond his ability to achieve any lasting me, both in the program and outside. I started resolution or healing around those issues. to lose that conscious contact with my Higher Power and that interior freedom and ease of That conversation made me start to think a being comfortable in my own skin that came little bit about one of the foundations of with it. And the hardest thing about it was recovery that today I seem to take for granted, that I felt I could not let anyone know what I but that was previously so crucial to me, was experiencing. especially from my second year of recovery onward. In the early days of my recovery, Here I was, a rock star in local AA recovery, when I had finally surrendered and accepted and if God forbid, anyone knew that I was what I needed to do and poured all my energy constantly restless, irritable and discontent, and focus on going to any lengths for sobriety, what would they think about my recovery I found myself starting to experience all the program? promises of the steps. The shame of appearing less than was My life started to be put together in a new way, something that would take a much longer relationships and friendships started to heal, time for me to work through and release. and I began to experience life in a charged Eventually it got bad enough that one day the and electrifying, life-giving way. Flush with thought popped into my head about that growing experience, my ego slowly, contacting an old fling I had had awesome sex subtly, but surely, started to re-grow and with a long time ago. insidiously hijacked a lot of my ways of I was attached at the time, but I didn’t realize looking at the world and the way I worked the program of AA. that I was careening down a slippery slope toward a potential relapse, so entranced I was A speaker in AA I once heard described the by the intensity of the experience I had had steps of AA as the tools that are meant to with this friend of mine. Also, though I couldn’t lead you to an experience of one’s Higher see it at the time, I was actively trying to think Power and all the accompanying myself out of my resentments and discontent, transformation and healing are by-products of and it wasn’t working. that conscious contact. In my experience though, once the ego started to reassert itself, They often say in AA that you have to act your way into a new way of thinking, that it is the focus of the steps became less about leading me to my Higher Power, and more impossible to think your way into it (which about me exercising my will over the world as should have been obvious to me from my My Higher Power. My way of interacting the days of active alcoholism, but as they say, we often grow at the speed of pain). world became less unconditional and more transactional. Do this step, and you’ll get this Eventually, I ended up having that booty call, normalize the struggle of acceptance. It takes and the overwhelming sensation of guilt and the shame of being less than, and releases it shame that I had woke me up to the space so that we become comfortable with being as where I could see that something was we are. We see ourselves on a journey of seriously wrong and that I was completely off growing towards, rather than running from. the beam and it finally forced me to confess to my sponsor and a couple of fellows I was Another by-product of this is that I have close to that I needed help and very quickly. become a much more compassionate and They helped me to see what was missing gentle soul when working with others. The from my program. militancy of my earlier days in recovery, in sponsoring, often drove away a few who could As it turns out, in the 10th step where it talks not handle the hard edge of “suit up and show about the spot inventory, I was doing all of it up”, “sit down and shut up and open your faithfully except the little pesky bit about, “We ears”. discuss them with someone immediately” where my brain usually skips a beat and While my sponsor at the time often pointed moves on to making amends and being of out that I had no power to make anyone get service.
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