Recovery Reader – Second Edition

mous with additional material as developed by various speakers available for free on http://xa-speakers.org.

Print edition through Oak & Lotus Publishing http://oakandlotus.com

STEPS 4, 5, 6 and 7 Sources

This guide is not the idea of one person. Simple Directions is published under a Creative “Circuit speakers” at conventions of Alcoholics Anonymous have add- Commons, Share Alike, No Commercial Use, No Alterations license. You ed their impact to the Inventory process. Dozens of excellent speakers are are free to print out these pages for use in personal recovery for individuals available for free download from xa-speakers.org. These represent hundreds or groups but may not reproduce the book for sale. of sober-years of experience in the process of 12-Step recovery and the process of working those Steps. Additional material was made available on the Quotes from the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” copyright by the Alcohol- internet through several excellent sources of documents, podcasts, work- ics Anonymous World Service Organization, All rights reserved. shop materials, speaker recordings and original essays to even more of our This guide may be downloaded without charge and in several formats from shared experience strength and hope. anonymousreview.org and may be shared with others provided no charge is A list of sites is included in the back of this book and you are encour- made other than costs of duplication and delivery. aged to explore these web sites, but not at the expense of postponing your Released through Creative Commons Non-Comemrcial, Share Alike, Full Fourth Step. Attribution license. Above all you will have the experience of your Sponsor to help you overcome your personal obstacles to the massive housecleaning and correction that began when you accepted the truth of the First Step. Our Thanks to... If your Sponsor says anything that conflicts with this guide go with Ken D. of the One Way Group, Los Angeles, CA, what your Sponsor has to say for your personal program Barefoot Bob, barefootsworld.org, There is only one way to do the Inventory wrong, and that is to not The many speakers on 12-Step process who have spoken in meetings, con- do one! ventions, round-ups, workshops and classes (available for free download Joe A., Anonymous Review through xa-speakers.org), Raleigh, NC Cliff D., Copy Editor This is not presented as, nor intended to be, the only approach to a Fourth Step Inventory. It is based on Chapter Five of the book Alcoholics Anony- Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Recovery Reader

STUDIES IN AA, THE STEPS AND THE PROCESS OF THE PROGRAM

SECOND EDITION WINTER 2016

– 1 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

EDITORS Joe A., Gary P., Rich T., and James W.

CONTRIBUTORS Barefoot Bob H., Beth J., Fred S., Jack McC., Joe A., John H., Kate O., Kerry K., Steve L., Ted D., and contributors identifed within specifc articles, and those who asked to be left anonymous.

Additional material drawn from from: sober.org standupoet.net barefootsworld.net primarypurposegroup.org

Also see the list of suggested websites in Reference section for additional information.

We would like to thank the estates of some contributors who have left a signifcant contribution to the lore of Recovery. We have been unable to contact the domain holders of some original websites and no claim against their work is intended by inclusion in this volume. If anyone from those websites can contact us, it would be much appreciated.

Revised Edition published by sponsormagazine.info

Winter 2016

Tis document is available for download without charge through Archive.org and through print-on-demand partners for hardcopy. sponsormagazine.info

Details available from:

sponsormagazine.info/reader.html

Release 2a

– 2 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Tis book is released under a Creative Commons, Attribution, Non-Commercial Use, Share Alike license. Tis means that you are given permission to duplicate the PDF or make photocopies as you see ft, but may not alter the material. Individual articles may show the original copyright holder, who retains all rights to his/her work.

Contents copyright 2016 by the individual authors. Te electronic (PDF) copy of this document may be shared without charge provided no charge is made and the notices of source and copyright are retained. Te print version may be photocopied and shared provided no charge is made other than the actual cost of making the copies.

Tis guide may be downloaded without charge and in several formats from Sponsormagazine.info and may be shared with others provided that no fees are charged other than the cost of duplication and delivery.

Pass it on. To honor the intent of many authors, living and dead, to keep this material available to anyone who wants it, all of the articles in this document remain available for free download as PDF documents. Downloads of the book as a whole and divided into its individual segments can be found at http://sponsormagazine.info

– 3 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Table of Contents

How to Use Tis Book ...... 5 Te Original Six Steps ...... 77 Forward to the Second Edition ...... 6 Looking at the First Tree Steps ...... 78 Drunks: A Poem ...... 9 Simple Directions ...... 80 Newcomers 12 Your Fourth Step Inventory Notebook ...... 85 Inventory Prompts ...... 92 A Message to Newcomers ...... 13 Step Five ...... 94 What Others Say About Us ...... 15 Step Six ...... 96 Te Twenty Questions ...... 16 Step Seven ...... 98 Te Four Questions ...... 17 Step Seven With A Worksheet ...... 99 What is the Cost? ...... 18 Inventory Summary ...... 102 Te Words We Use ...... 20 Steps Eight and Nine ...... 104 Te Insanity of Alcoholism ...... 25 Step Nine - Doing It! ...... 108 Te Steps and Program ...... 27 Forgiveness – Te Missing Step ...... 111 Issues Other Tan Alcohol ...... 32 Te Big Book on Forgiveness ...... 115 What Does “Going to Any Lengths” Mean? ...... 37 Forgiveness ...... 118 Understanding Anonymity ...... 39 Step Ten ...... 122 Looking at the First Tree Steps ...... 41 Step Eleven ...... 123 Spirituality 43 Steps Ten and Eleven Together ...... 124 Religion and Alcoholism ...... 44 Step Twelve ...... 126 Stop Playing God ...... 46 AA Traditions ...... 130 Approaches to a Higher Power ...... 47 Sponsorship 140 Prayers from the Big Book ...... 49 Sponsorship ...... 141 Problems with Prayer ...... 51 Zen and the Art of Sponsorship ...... 145 Te Peace Prayer of St. Francis ...... 54 Clancy’s Seven Questions ...... 147 Te Lord’s Prayer ...... 57 To New Sponsors ...... 148 Tree & Seven: Te Full Prayer? ...... 60 To New Speakers ...... 150 Believer, Seeker, Agnostic, Atheist, Anti-Teist 61 Active Listening ...... 154 Atheism, Moral Psychology, and the Deus Non Build Your Arch ...... 157 Vocatus in Early Alcoholics Anonymous .....65 Why Carry Tis Message? ...... 159 Alternatives to “God” ...... 68 Tat Ain’t in the Book! ...... 160 Meditation for Beginners ...... 69 Steps & Traditions 72 Notes and Essays 166 How the Big Book Was Put Together ...... 167 An Overview of the Steps ...... 73 Early Recovery Rates ...... 178 Te Birth of the Twelve Steps ...... 76 – 4 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Stories in Diﬀerent Editions ...... 180 References 237 Te First 25 AA Groups ...... 181 AA Chronology ...... 238 Before AA ...... 182 Bibliography ...... 247 Birth of the Big Book ...... 186 Internet Recommendations ...... 252 Big Book Names & Dates ...... 192 12 Step Fellowships ...... 254 Principles of Recovery ...... 197 Te Sponsor Magazine Symbol ...... 257 36 References to Principles ...... 199 Troughout this book references to page numbers Grief and Amends ...... 201 without assignment to other titles will be from the Twelve Warnings ...... 203 book Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the Big Tirty Eight Musts ...... 205 Book. 109 Promises ...... 207 Page numbers in this PDF edition and the Te Most Dangerous Part of the Alcoholic Brain ... similarly sized ‘print on demand’ edition may not 212 match. Te ePUB version does not use the page Gossip and Te 13th Step ...... 216 numbering system and allows content to be resized Confict in AA Histories ...... 217 acroding to the device and reader. Recovery Rate = 1 ...... 221 More Tan Words ...... 222 How to Use This Book Tis book is intended to be used: Te home page also provides a link to order a a) to serve as a personal enrichment printed copy from a print-on-demand service. course-in-a-book on Recovery and AA History. Print-on-demand is an outside service intended for convenience and price to compare with the printer, b) for a Sponsor who shares this information ink, and paper for printing out the pages of this with someone they are attempting to help. document, or the costs of photocopies. c) to create a new class as appropriate to your Dr. Ernie Kurtz, author of “Not God” and other area’s needs and opportunity by taking the books on AA and Recovery, had a suggestion for suggestions and materials to assemble or revise as the use of Recovery Reader. He was familiar with you see ft. the "sortes Virgilianae", a method he and other It is not presented as the “only” way to do the students used to fnd a topic for conversation by work of sharing the Program, but it is a synthesis of turning to a random page of Virgil’s “Aeneid.” He work by over thirty authors with over half a century suggested the same exercise be used with Recovery of eﬀective AA Recovery. Reader - as excursions into self education, study or Tis document is intended to be shared and may discussion based on opening to a random page. It is be downloaded in whole, in sections, or by also called ‘bibliomancy’ - book magic, individual articles through: Te same thing has been done with the Big Book http://reader.Sponsormagazine.info. as a topic for a meeting, and same thing done for “Daily Refections” (random date), “As Bill Sees It” Tis book may be shared so long as no fees are (random page), and other conference approved charged for the electronic fle and that the associated books as a starting point for group investigation. credits, copyrights, and notices remain with the fle.

– 5 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Forward to the Second Edition Origins of This Book addiction, and if anyone said they were, we spent Te idea for this book came about in 2007, after the opening of the class on the frst three Steps. two years of volunteering to teach an “Introduction A curriculum was developed from the body of to Recovery” class at the Healing Place for Wake literature that had grown up around the Twelve County, a public homeless shelter with a curriculum Step Process - books, internet and the wealth of for alcoholic and drug addicted men. It began as a original recordings from the people who brought the simple Big Book reading where one man came in message to the fellowship during its frst eighty and read from the Big Book to the clients at the years. center. Te people attending the reading were men It became important to never claim to represent a from the detox center, often still drunk or high from new “orthodoxy” for Recovery – a “one true way.” the streets, and the men in the shelter, who may or We found a source, shared the information, and may not have an interest in getting sober. then compared that information with additional When he decided he could not keep doing his sources. When we found better information, we reading, he asked one of the editors of this book to shared that. When we discovered we had stepped take over. On the frst night the reading was from into a controversy between factions within the “To Te Wives” - Chapter Seven. Many of the men fellowship, we admitted that and presented the attending had never heard of AA or the Twelve information from all sides. Steps, and their frst exposure was from a part of the Te class was changed to mimic the process of book dealing with Steps Nine and Twelve. Recovery. Show up, learn, share the best you can, Tey had not heard about Step One yet, but they learn more, share better, admit if you’ve made a were being read to from Chapter Seven because they mistake or discovered corrections to previous had not been there for the earlier parts of the book. information. No secrets. No gossips. No Without a clear sense of what came before Steps continuation of old resentments, self-serving Nine and Twelve, the attendees could not be versions and personality over princples. expected to understand what was being said to To the best of our ability. them. Our Group Conscience It was decided that from that point on, the class Tis anthology is not the thought or eﬀort of one would focus on Steps One, Two and Tree – it peson. Tis book was an expression of a group would be an introduction to the Twelve Step conscience. It is not the only, nor an ‘orthodox’, Program of Recovery every week. Tere would be voice of Recovery. Some of the views may appear to new people arriving every week so the decision was be in confict with other statements, but they are all made to make sure everyone coming in, for the frst expressions of the experience of our members across time, would be welcomed with a place to begin. space and time. Te class often had men who had already It was not our purpose to tear away any of the attended the introduction for a few times and, when viewpoints but to present what people found to help there were no newcomers, we discussed the others fnd their own personal garden of living in Inventory, Amends and lessons for later Steps. Recovery. But every week we asked if anyone was coming to Although it was not identifed as part of our the Twelve Steps to deal with alcoholism or drug program the Twelve Traditions were adopted by the

– 6 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition majority of the AA groups and have been part of our hide the source or to claim the released material as process as a collection of very different people, an original work. beliefs, customs and geography. Where material is under the copyright of the At the very beginning, the book Alcoholics original author, that statement is included and the Anonymous was the distribution of the ‘Multilith’ rights of the author take priority over the Creative edition of the manuscript for what would become Commons license. the Big Book. Tat version requested, and received, Today it is possible for the person new to the comments from members within the fellowship and fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous to become lost our non-alcoholic friends outside that fellowship, in in the myriad of meetings, books, sayings, slogans, a variety of occupations and locations. Subtle tweaks and, (at times) conficting suggestions. It is also in the wording shaped a book that has served us for possible for the person new to reaching out to the more than 75 years as of this writing. newcomer to become confused as to the best Tis collection represents authors sharing across approach. A Recovery Reader, and its associated eight decades of Twelve Step Recovery from cities projects, provide a simple and understandable all over the world. introduction to the fellowship of Alcoholics Some authors have since died; the words they Anonymous, the Program of Recovery. From there, wrote continue after their deaths to share the the book takes the reader through many facets of message of hope they were given in life. Recovery. Te authors made their contributions from In 1938, when the Big Book was written, Bill W. several countries and almost all of the states within said: the United States. “Our hope is that when this chip of a book is Te editors for this second edition have included launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated people from North Carolina, Connecticut, drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its Delaware, California, Florida, Virginia, suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their Washington, Idaho, Texas, Georgia and people in feet and march on. Tey will approach still other transit between locations. sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous Take what you need, but don’t leave the rest. may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for Take it, too - you may need it later. those who must fnd a way out.” Free Access / Creative Commons Alcoholics Anonymous, page 153 Te class and the book have not been perfect and No one could have imagined how large and will never be perfect. But it is our hope this will widespread the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous provide a good foundation for any student of would become. Fearing that they (the original Recovery - newcomer, Sponsor, family member, members) would be overwhelmed with requests for academic or friend of people in Recovery. help, the book Alcoholics Anonymous was It was decided that the material gathered for this published to provide a concise method of Recovery class would be made available through the internet. for the lone sufferer of alcoholism. While certainly Tere were a number of documents released as the book inspired the formation of groups all over PDFs and later it was determined that all of the the world and has served as the foundational guide material released would be under the Creative for Recovery, it could not provide one of the most Commons license. Creative Commons is an essential ingredients to Recovery, one alcoholic open-source system that allows material to be freely working one-on-one with another alcoholic. Te copied and shared. It can be printed and shared or it importance of this relationship is borne out in Bill can be shared as an electronic fles download. Te W.’s telling of the story of his encounter with Dr. license we offer states free duplication and sharing of Bob and the founding of A.A. Tis relationship documents and recordings, that these fles cannot be between alcoholics would later become known as sold (other than real costs of photo-copying, when the Fellowship. that applies), and the fles are not to be altered to

– 7 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te material is laid out so clearly that the to do. Proponents wanted to protect Alcoholics newcomer can easily acquaint him/herself with all Anonymous from public embarassment due to the facets of the Recovery program, building naturally actions of individuals who, in the public mind, on the basics to the more advanced aspects of represented the fellowship. Tis was based on sobriety. For the Sponsor, each section is available celebrities in early days of Recovery, who had for individual download and can be easily announced their sobriety in the press, and whose distributed to Sponsees for study and discussion. subsequent relapses were also covered, in detail, in For those that fnd themselves in an area where newspapers and on radio. Te purpose was not to there may be a limited number of Sponsors available discourage any individual from approaching AA (or the Sponsor that is overwhelmed by Sponsees), because of the apparent failure of the Program – or A Recovery Reader includes a section on setting up because they did not like the public personality of classes to study the material. the person associated with AA. By far, A Recovery Reader may be the most Te anonymity also protected the newcomer. comprehensive collection of Recovery resource Tey did not come into the rooms dragging their material available for the newcomer and old-timer job, their family or other issues with them. Tey alike. began Recovery on an equal footing with everyone else in the room, united by their common problem. Editing Opponents said that they were anonymous Te frst edition was released in 2011 and proved because of shame and that, in Recovery, we are to be to have been premature. Te problems with spelling, the equal of anyone else in the general society. Some grammar, punctuation, and sometimes with the insisted that their last name be used in and out of actual information, made the frst edition less than meetings. the resource we had hoped it would be. Over time, as people moved into their Trough the use of copy editing this new edition professional lives, it was felt that public (begun in late 2014) presents the material cleanly, identifcation, if not as members of a specifc Twelve accurately and with due diligence. At that time we Step program, but as a person in long term Recovery did not know that it would take more than eighteen helped to establish that ‘Recovery’ was a real thing. months to accomplish. Even in the early 21st Century, many people do not Fresh information became available and, thanks believe that real change and Recovery are possible – to the internet, will continue to appear. We have they believe that all members of the recovering included the information available at the time of community will eventually relapse. Tis has also publication. been the attitude of many people in the professional Tis is not a fnal, or perfect, edition. It is medical community. possible an edit was missed in the volume of Tis book allowed living contributors to make information provided. Progress not Perfection is not their own decision about maintaining their an excuse, but we have come to accept it as the anonymity as it relates to their own community. reality for releasing this kind of research volume. People were also free to choose anonymous Anonymity attribution - usually their frst name and last initial. For deceased authors it was decided that, if that Te question of names has been an issue in author, speaker, or presenter had been identifed sharing these materials. Alcoholics Anonymous, and publically by last name as a member of one of the its dozens of descendant Programs, have a tradition Twelve Step Programs, then they would be of “anonymity” – at the level of press, radio and flm. identifed that way in this publication. Tis tradition has been the source of controversy We determined we would not ‘out’ anyone who from the introduction of Te Twelve Traditions. had not been identifed through other sources. First, alcoholics do not take well to being told what

– 8 – STANDUPOET.NET

Drunks: A Poem A speaker brought this poem to an AA History event in Raleigh in early 2011, but did not know the author. After some research, the editors were able to locate the author and got his permission to include it in the Recovery Reader, with the understanding the book would remain available for free download and that the Print-on-Demand edition never be a source of proft for the Sponsor Magazine project. We are happy to present this powerful poem to readers of the Second Edition, published with the same agreement with the author or author’s estates.

We died of pneumonia in furnished rooms we died in straitjackets where they found us three days later in the DTs seeing God knows what when somebody complained about the smell creeping skittering slithering we died against bridge abutments shuﬄing things and nobody knew if it was suicide and we probably didn't know ourselves And you know what the worst thing was? except in the sense that it was always suicide Te worst thing was that nobody ever believed we died in hospitals how hard we tried our stomachs huge, distended and there was nothing they could do We went to doctors and they gave us stuﬀ to we died in cells take never knowing whether we were guilty or not. that would make us sick when we drank on the principle of so crazy, it just might work, I We went to priests guess they gave us pledges or they sent us places like Dropkick Murphy's they told us to pray and when we got out we were hooked on they told us to go and sin no more, paraldehyde but go or maybe we lied to the doctors we tried and we died and they told us don’t drink so much just drink like me we died of overdoses and we tried we died in bed and we died (but usually not the Big Bed)

– 9 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition we drowned in our own vomit because women have so much more to live up to or choked on it we tried and we died and nobody cried our broken jaws wired shut we died playing Russian roulette And the very worst thing and everybody thought we'd lost was that for every one of us who died we died under the hooves of horses there were another hundred of us, or another under the wheels of vehicles thousand under the knives and bootheels of our brother who wished that we would die drunks who went to sleep praying we would not have to we died in shame wake up because what we were enduring was intolerable And you know what was even worse? and we knew in our hearts was that we couldn't believe it ourselves it wasn't ever gonna change that we had tried and we died believing that didn't know One day in a hospital room in New York City what it meant to try one of us had what the books call a “transforming spiritual experience” When we were desperate or hopeful or and he said to himself deluded or embattled enough to ask for help we went to people with letters after their names I've got it and prayed that they might have read the right (no you haven't you've only got part of it) books that had the right words in them and I have to share it never suspecting the terrifying truth (now you've ALMOST got it) that the right words, as simple as they were had not been written yet and he tried to give it away but we couldn't hear it We died falling off girders on high buildings the transmission line wasn't open yet because of course ironworkers drink we tried to hear it of course they do we tried and we died we died with a shotgun in our mouth or jumping off a bridge we died of one last cigarette and everybody knew it was suicide the comfort of its glowing in the dark we died under the Southeast Expressway we passed out and the bed caught fre with our hands tied behind us they said we suffocated before our body burned and a bullet in the back of our head they said we never felt a thing because this time the people that we that was the best way maybe that we died disappointed except sometimes we took our family with us were the wrong people we died in convulsions, or of "insult to the brain" And the man in New York was so sure he had it incontinent, and in disgrace, abandoned he tried to love us into sobriety if we were women, we died degraded, but that didn't work either,

– 10 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition love confuses drunks still he tried and still we died (NOW one after another we got his hopes up you've got it) and we broke his heart, because that's what we do and the transmission line after all those years And the very worst thing of all the worst things was open was that every time we thought we knew the transmission line was open what the worst thing was, something happened that was even worse And now we don't go to priests and we don't go to doctors Until a day came in a hotel lobby and people with letters after their names and it wasn't in Rome, or Jerusalem, or Mecca we come to people who have been there or even Dublin, or South Boston we come to each other it was in Akron, Ohio, for Christ's sake and we try and we don't have to die a day came when the man said —Jack McC I have to fnd a drunk standupoet.net because I need him as much as he needs me

– 11 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

FROM RECOVERY READER, SECOND EDITION

Newcomers

You will need to determine if this is something to simply hand to your prospect, or if it is information you would like to dole out as needed. But the intent is to share with Newcomers.

– 12 – SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

A Message to Newcomers

We all come to our Fellowship from many medical professionals. Sincere promises to stop places – towns, cities, villages, and farms. We drinking were made to themselves and others, and come from Park Avenue or a park bench, from those promises were subsequently broken. Yale or jail. We know the secret that no one without the We are not united by our success, or fame, or problem knows: wealth, or shame – we are united by the shared Te reason we always went back to drinking experience of having been lost, fearful, abandoned was because it worked. In the opening to our Big and alone. Book - the book Alcoholics Anonymous - Dr. We are united by our failure. Silkworth of Townes Hospital said, “Essentially Together we have found the answer to our alcoholics drink because they like the eﬀect.” common problem and we have found a shared What is the effect? solution. We have found community with new Alcohol is a depressant. It works on the same brothers and sisters, new people to serve as part of the brain as do opiates and THC (the families while we learn the new life and begin to active drug in marijuana). Tis is the lobe of the repair, or lessen, the damage we have done in the brain where humans make long term decisions. throes of our pain and our common disease. We depress our feelings. We lose our ability to But this is good news. You have made it to plan for careers, happy families and a long life. the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous - you will But we also lose our fear, our guilt, our shame and learn the nature of our ‘disease’. You will fnd the dread for what may come next. reason why you were unable to stop when you And we also lose our ability to feel love, to be decided to stop. No matter how sacred a vow you a true friend, and/or to live up to the teachings we may have made, no matter what pain you may have been given and claim to believe. have seen yourself cause to those you love, you still could not stop. We know things the people who never had the problem do not know. We know the sense of Most of us did stop - temporarily. Maybe for doom, and the sincere belief that things can only a day, or a few months, but there was always get worse. We know how the alcohol or drugs another failure and more self hate as a result of that once worked, stopped working. We know the that failure terror of watching our lives spiral down. When AA began in 1935, almost no one We make several promises to you, the frst of belived that an alcoholic could be cured (and we which is - You never have to pick up a drink have much the same attitude with addicts today). again. You never have to pick up a drug again. Tey arrived at churches and medical facilities and You will fnd a way of living one day at a time that madhouses and prisons as a result of their steady will free you from the burden of the past (but not decline. Famlies prayed and spent fortunes for the consequences of your actions). You will learn cures, sanitariums and the help of legal and to deal with any problem - health, the death of a – 13 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition loved one, fnancial, legal, sexual and criminal - you can choose to stop going to meetings and to with people who have been through those exclude us from your life. struggles. We will show you what we have done. Just stop going to meetings, get drunk, and One of our frst promises is the title of one of get high. If you survive, we will welcome you back the early chapters in the Big Book of Alcoholics in. We don’t shoot our wounded. Anonymous - “Tere Is A Solution.” Tere is, and If you have made it to Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a world-wide community of people in our or one of the dozens of other 12-Step Programs fellowship who will share that solution with you. that now exist… Another promise is – you never have to go through your crisis alone again. Unless you choose Welcome. Glad you’re here. to. You can choose to throw it all away – you can choose to start drinking again, start using again,

– 14 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

What Others Say About Us

Alcoholics Anonymous has only existed since Evangelical and Orthodox Christians, and we 1935 but there is a large number of people who have Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists and oppose us. Some of them have become very vocal profoundly Anti-theists, all staying sober by and very visible. making the phrase “A power greater than You will need to make up your own mind. yourself” a new authority in their lives. What that power is, is up to you. Some say we are a cult. If so, we are a terrible cult - we don’t tell you what religion to believe in, Some say that people in AA belive that only what deity to believe in... we don’t even get to AA can help people get or stay sober. In fact, we take your money1. You can leave and will be hope you will fnd another method – people have welcomed back…if you make it back. simply gone back to church, made a commitment, Some say that the AA process does not work gone to therapy, and been able to fnd long term and they give statistics to prove their point. We sobriety; some people who go to therapy and deal have to question how they get their statistics from with their personal demons are able to get and a society that is anonymous, where no one stay sober; some are able to just make a solemn registers or reports (although some have to get vow to stop drinking and doing drugs and they sheets signed for courts, schools, bosses or other succeed. authorities who may require them to attend). No Tey used to call AA “the last house on the one reports how many people attend a meeting, or block. Te place where you come after all the who is staying sober. But, still, in every local other methods have failed.” fellowship you will fnd people celebrating their We are the people who have tried the other frst day or their frst few months, or a few years, methods and they did not work – for us. We have or several decades, of sobriety. tried all of the alternatives and have failed. Some say we are a form of psychotherapy. We In the Big Book it says... are not. If you are looking for therapy, go to “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has therapy. We are a community of people who have thoroughly followed our path.” Page 58 shared certain experiences, who have found a way But we have seen people who had failed to out of the lives that were destroying us, and want fnd and maintain long term sobriety succeed. to share it. We invite you to begin and will share our Some people say we are just trying to get experience with you. everyone converted to Christianity or some other specifc religion. We have Protestants, Catholics,

1 We do ask for contributions to cover costs in meeting, room rent, coﬀee, literature, under the “Seventh Tradition”. .”:Usually $1 or $2 per meeting, and if you don’t have cash, no one is thrown out. – 15 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

JOHNS HOPKINS MEDICAL CENTER

The Twenty Questions

Tis list was prepared by psychiatrists of Johns 12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty Hopkins University and has been very valuable in in sleeping? helping the drinker decide for himself whether or 13. Has your efficiency decreased since not he is an alcoholic. It was frst used as part of drinking? AA 12-Step work in Akron, OH. 14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or Answer these questions as honestly as business? possible. Do not read ahead. 15. Do you drink to escape from worries or 1. Do you lose time from work due to troubles? drinking? 16. Do you drink alone? 2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? 17. Have you ever had a complete loss of 3. Do you drink because you are shy with other memory as a result of drinking? people? 18. Has your physician ever treated you for 4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? drinking? 5. Have you gotten into fnancial difficulties as 19. Do you drink to build up your a result of drinking? self-confdence? 6. Have you ever stolen, pawned property, or 20. Have you ever been to a hospital or "borrowed" to get money for alcoholic institution on account of drinking? beverages? If you answered YES to one of the questions, 7. Do you turn to lower companions and an that is a defnite warning that you May be an inferior environment when drinking? alcoholic. 8. Does your drinking make you careless of your If you answered YES to two of the questions, family's welfare? the chances are that you Are an alcoholic. 9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? If you answered YES to three or more of the 10. Do you crave a drink at a defnite time questions, it indicates you are Defnitely an daily? alcoholic and in need of help. 11. Do you want a drink the next morning?

ANOTHER WAY TO ASK THE TWENTY QUESTIONS Read them again, but change the word ‘drinking’ to ‘thinking’. Does that still apply?

– 16 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

The Four Questions

Only you can decide whether or not you are an alcoholic, although some professionals may oﬀer very strong opinions on the subject. Tere are four questions for you to answer to determine if you are an alcoholic: 1. When you take a drink, can you control how many drinks you will have? 2. When you take a drink, can you control how long the spree will last? 3. When you take a drink, can you control what you will do while drunk? 4. Has the question of whether or not you are an alcoholic come up more than once? For most alcoholics the answer to the frst three questions will be “no,” and the answer to #4 will be “yes.” If you now know that you are an alcoholic, or even fnd that you simply have “the desire to stop drinking,” you qualify as a member of AA.

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What is the Cost?

One saying that has been popular in AA for But that isn’t the end of your calculations. many years has been: • How many times did you miss work because of “We are offering you our Program of Recovery being too drugged out to do the work, and how and it doesn’t cost you a dime!” many times did you show up and not do the We do suggest you get a copy of the book work you were being paid to do? Alcoholics Anonymous, which we affectionately Te former is direct loss. call “Te Big Book,” but people have gotten sober Te latter is theft - taking money under false working the Steps through their Sponsor’s copy of pretenses. the Big Book. • How much of your own possessions did you We pass the basket to cover the cost of coffee, sell for much less than they were worth because renting the room and supplying the free you wanted money NOW? Subtract the pamphlets. Some meetings still include covering amount you received from the value of what the cost of a free copy of the Big Book to a you sold. newcomer and if you can’t afford a copy of the • How many ‘loans’ did you get and never paid book in the beginning, almost all groups will back? You might want to look at your make easy payment arrangements. willingness to get those loans, knowing you But what about the costs? You can actually had no intention of repaying the person or fgure out what it has cost you to sit in one of the institution providing the loan. chairs of our meetings. Ten there is the more direct form of theft. First do some simple arithmetic. How much Did you ever take money or goods from someone did it cost to buy what you needed to get drunk or and sell them? Try to create a list of these thefts high on a daily basis. to arrive at a total, then add it to your list of costs. • How many years did you drink and/or use? • Did you ever steal from a purse or pick • Multiply the daily cost by 365.25 (the number someone’s pocket? of days in a year). • Did you ever rob someone face to face, with • Ten multiply the annual cost by the number threats of violence or with a weapon? of years you were drinking and/or using. • Did you ever steal goods or money by sneaking You may have wanted to be the “big shot” by into a place where you were not supposed to buying alcohol or drugs for others, so you need to be, such as breaking into a car or burglarizing a add the costs of being ‘host’ and paying for the home or business? drinks or drugs to those you wanted to impress. Now, take the total of: Being the host provided a heady drug-like • Te amount you spent on drugs or alcohol you reaction by making you popular because of what used or provided. you spent.

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• Te total of unpaid loans. • Did you have employees who suﬀered because of your disease? • Te amount of money which you either missed out on by not being ft to go to work, or by Can you put a separate value to each of those? showing up and not doing the work for which Tis is not an Inventory. you were paid. Tis is simple accounting - what did it cost for • Te total cash lost by ‘short-selling’ your own you to come to meetings and sit in those chairs in possessions. all those basements, backrooms and rented spaces? • All cash received from the sale of items you And after all you paid out and lost, you don’t stole and sold. even get to take the chair home. It is usually not a • All the money (and goods) you received by nice chair, but it belongs to someone else. You robbery, either by threats of violence or with a leave it for the next meeting and the next weapon or by burglary. alcoholic trying to do the work of the Steps. What is the total of cash involved? For some this may be the beginning of an We are not done. Tere are other costs that honest review of their personal record of loss and are not as simple to fnd. damage. We oﬀer a system of ‘amends’ - the word means ‘to repair or make better’ - which is the • What is the cost of damage to your relatives? beginning of improving a life that was a history of • What about the damage you did to your wrecking our own lives and the lives of people parents? around us. • Your spouse? Coming to meetings, working with a Sponsor, working the Steps - these are all available without • Your children? charge, but we do expect you to do the Work to • What friendships were soured by your betrayal get the Result. Te Big Book gives promises. or by the drain you put on those who called you Tere are far more promises than those from Step ‘friend’? Nine, which are read at the beginning of some • What were the consequences of holding a meetings. series of jobs instead of the career you planned? One of the frst promises is the title of • Were you the owner of a business that failed Chapter Two: because of your growing alcoholism or addiction? “Tere is a Solution”

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The Words We Use

We of AA have many words that seem to Speaker, Book Study, etc.) to fnd the one you mean something different within our society of want to make your Home Group, and then attend people in Recovery. Tey are not secret - they the meeting(s) for that Group regularly. refer to the many tools that help us. You will usually attend more than one THE STEPS meeting per week and are free to attend any of the Te key to our Recovery Program is found in meetings for which you qualify. You will fnd that “Te Twelve Steps.” Based on six steps from a attending meetings in other cities, states or previous Christian fellowship, the Steps were countries can be a wonderful experience. written in 1938 as part of the manuscript for the GROUPS book Alcoholics Anonymous, called “Te Big A Group consists of recovering alcoholics, Book” in AA. usually the members who make the meetings It contains the instructions for confronting possible. Tey gather one or more times each your problem(s) - alcoholism, drug addiction or week to share their experience, strength, and others which are the focus of dozens of newer hope. 12-Step Programs - and then applying Te Steps Joining a Home Group helps end your to achieve and sustain ‘Recovery’. alcoholic isolation and helps build the foundation RECOVERY for the work ahead. Recovery is our general reference for living life FELLOWSHIP free from alcohol (or drugs or other substances or Te Fellowship consists of others who share behaviors). Tis includes the process of our path to Recovery. Te Fellowship is expressed confronting the problem, taking the actions in Meetings; through Literature; through using (usually based on the 12-Steps or the actions the Phone between meetings; through the Steps; required by those Steps) to repair (or make better) and the sharing of our experience, strength, and the things we ruined because of the disease – hope outside the meetings. helping us to live life as a responsible, spiritually Te value of the Fellowship becomes more guided, adult human being. important when members share with you how to MEETINGS get through a crisis you are confronting, based on Regular meetings of AA are regular their experience with the same situation. gatherings of people in Recovery, held by Groups. THE PHONE Te Group may host one meeting per week or We use the telephone as our “meeting many. Publications are available with a list of between meetings.” Regular contact with other days, times, and locations of meetings in your people is a lifeline when new situations require us local area. Tese lists usually are also available to deal differently with life on life’s terms. We call online. Attend several different meetings and our Sponsors and call other people we have met in several different types (Open, Discussion,

– 20 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition the meetings. We encourage you to collect phone TEMPORARY SPONSOR numbers. And don’t just collect them - call them! A Temporary Sponsor is someone willing to answer your questions. Tey may only be a little SERVICE bit ahead of you on the path of Recovery. A We do Service to share our experience, Temporary Sponsor will help you for the frst strength, and hope; to make our meetings month or two while you look for your permanent possible; to see how our experience can beneft Sponsor. others; and to give back to the Fellowship for what was given to us so freely. We become trusted STEPS servants - we do not govern. Te Twelve Steps enable you to deal with life without the crutches of alcohol and drugs. Te LITERATURE Steps are written in order and must be worked in Tere are many books on the subject of that order to be most effective. We work the Steps alcoholism and Recovery, but usually we are with a Sponsor and with the support of other referring to two specifc books, published for and members of the program who are ahead of us in by the members of the AA Program. Tese two the process - and we help those who come after us books are: ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS with what we have actually done. (Te Big Book) and THE TWELVE STEPS Te authority of AA comes from Page 20 of AND TWELVE TRADITIONS (Te 12 & 12). the Big Book - “We will tell you what we have Tese two books give the specifc steps of our done.” (Not theory or ideas or opinions we have Program, which we have found necessary to attain heard, but our personal experience.) and maintain our sobriety. Many other 12-Step Programs have their own versions of these books. SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE Tere are many pamphlets available at most AA has a set of guidelines for meetings, one meetings or service offices. Tese address specifc of which calls for a “Singleness of Purpose.” In the problems or address specifc groups within the days when that was written there were two fellowship. Twelve Step Programs; Alcoholics Anonymous and Al Anon. Te books are available at our cost and the pamphlets are free. In the decades since that time more than 60 public Twelve Step Programs have been SPONSOR developed that cover a wide variety of substances A Sponsor is a person with substantial and behaviors. Each maintains its own ‘singleness sobriety who is willing to share their experience, of purpose’ to identify who may, or may not, strength, and hope with you - to help you apply attend their meetings. Usually it is defned as the 12 Steps to your life, to exercise the tools we those who want to stop the substance abuse or offer. Tey share with you their personal behavior that threatens to ruin their lives. experience in working the Steps. Sponsors are not We do have some basic guidelines: therapists, counselors, bankers, or authorities. Sponsors are not perfect and may suggest other GO TO MEETINGS people in Recovery who may be able to help you Go to meetings. Meetings are where you will with a specifc problem. make contact with the fellowship, fnd out what Sponsors are just individual alcoholics we mean by the Big Book and other references, working Recovery One Day at a Time. get phone numbers, and discover how you ft into the AA fellowship. Find someone who has Recovery as you want it and ask them what they did to get it.

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90 IN 90 It is the belief of most of the authors in these Tere is an unofficial suggestion of pages that ‘sober’ is the way of life learned when committing to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. Part we have successfully excluded our triggering of the reason is that commitment gives you a real substances, behaviors and thinking from our daily chance to understand what we have to offer, to lives. learn of the different types of meetings available to To stop, we stop. What we stop is indulging you, and get valuable time detoxifying your body. in the substances and/or behaviors that have And, at the end of 90 days, you may be able to ruined our health, our standing, our relationships have a clear enough mind to honestly answer the and our negative effect on those around us. And question: “Am I an Alcoholic?” when we have stopped, we begin to learn new DON’T DRINK BETWEEN MEETINGS ways to behave and think - the ways taught by the Do NOT pick up a drink (or a drug) between Steps and practiced by those within our meetings. If you do not take a drink, you cannot fellowship. get drunk. If you think you might drink put it off Te programs teach us how to live after we for 15 minutes, then another 15 minutes, and so have stopped drinking. on until you can get to a meeting. Use the phone Almost everyone coming into the to call someone before you take a drink - after you substance-oriented Twelve Step Programs now take a drink there is nothing they can do to help. knows about drugs, or has had a personal People who have been around for many years tell experience with them. Te Twelve Steps are used us “It is easier to stay sober than to get sober!” in other programs and the same process of “CLEAN AND SOBER” stopping the abuse, and then working the steps is Tis phrase is often used to distinguish utilized to live a new life. A life that is focused on between alcohol and drugs as they relate to healthy behavior and a spiritual foundation that Recovery. shifts our focus from being self-serving and selfsh However, when you look at the defnition of to a new life of usefulness and service. ‘sober’ we fnd: ‘Clean’ refers to removing the substance from our body and our lives; [soh-ber] adjective, soberer, soberest. ‘Sober’ refers to a way of living, which takes a 1. not intoxicated or drunk. while to learn and a lifetime to practice. 2. habitually temperate, especially in the use of Alcohol has been around for thousands of liquor. years. Alcoholism goes back as far. 3. quiet or sedate in demeanor, as persons. When we planted the frst crops, those crops 4. marked by seriousness, gravity, solemnity, were always grain - wheat, maize, oats, rye, millet etc., as of demeanor, speech, etc.: a sober and rice. We grew grain to brew beer and to bake occasion. bread. Anthropologists have not been able to tell 5. subdued in tone, as color; not gay or showy, as us which came frst. clothes. From the beginning there were certain people 6. free from excess, extravagance, or who could not handle alcohol. Where others exaggeration: sober facts. drank without damaging their lives or bodies, our 7. showing self-control: sober restraint. alcoholic forerunners exhibited the same Only two of the defnitions deal with alcohol. self-destructive cycle known today. Te rest have to do with a way of thinking, When we added fruit to our agricultural approaching or carrying oneself. development we made wine, and more people

– 22 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition were found to be unable to avoid the alcoholic home group - help set up the room, make coffee, problems so well-known today. Adding distilled set up literature, greet people at the door. Play a spirits into the mix brought an increase in human role in making the meeting possible. It is called losses due to gin, whiskey and vodka. “Service.” We do not need to go into further detail, since Get phone numbers. Some people will offer most of the people reading this book know the you their phone numbers - use them. Tere is extent of the damage done through personal nothing magical about having a list of numbers in experience, or their association with someone who your pocket. Call someone to ask what meetings has suffered the adverse effects alcohol can have. they would recommend; call them when they’ve Drugs, such as marijuana, opium, ket, coca said something that specifcally addresses a leaves and others, have also been around for problem you are having; call them before you take thousands of years, but did not result in modern a drink. Use the phone numbers you get! addiction until the early 19th Century with the GET A SPONSOR British Empire’s opium trade with China, and the A Sponsor is someone who is ahead of you in Dutch use of cocaine among slaves in the the Program. Your Sponsor will get to know your Carribean region. story, they will share their story with you, and GET A BIG BOOK your Sponsor will show you how to work the Te Big Book is the book of Alcoholics Steps. Anonymous. Copies are available for sale at DO THE STEPS almost every meeting. You can also get copies in Tis means that you must get together with a used bookstores, or even the public library. We Book Study or Step Study group to decode the recommend you become familiar with the frst secret meaning of the literature2. We recommend 181 pages (164 basic pages plus Dr. Bob’s story at you also sit down with your Sponsor, usually at the beginning of personal stories). the same day and time every week, to go through If you are a member of another Twelve Step the Big Book and follow the directions. program, they may suggest you buy their primary When the Book asks a question, answer it. book of direction for that fellowship, such as the When the Book says pray, pray (or do your book Narcotics Anonymous for the Narcotics own equiavalent). Anonymous fellowship. When the Book says write, write. GO TO SEVERAL BOOK STUDY MEETINGS When the Book says share, share. At Big Book Studies a portion of the book is read and the group discusses its meaning. Te When the Book says go do, go do. (But check Program is found in the Big Book and these study with your Sponsor frst.) meetings will help you far more than reading the When the Book says to check yourself , check book by yourself. yourself. Be sure to remember, a) the Steps are in order GET A HOME GROUP for a reason, do them in order; and b) the Steps When you have been to some meetings, it is are not done once and then you are done. Each suggested that you fnd a Home Group. Tat is a step is necessary for the Step that follows. group you attend regularly where you get to know people (and to be known). And get busy in your Also, you accumulate the Steps. When you start Fourth Step, be sure you have Steps 1, 2 and

3 with you as you set pen to paper. When you get But it is worth the effort. to the Ninth Step, be sure you have Steps 1–8 DO SERVICE with you when you discuss your Amends with Te meetings exist because people volunteer to your Sponsor, or whoever you are doing your set up the tables, make coffee, set out the Steps with. When you are ready to begin the daily literature, greet people at the door, or clean up exercise of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve, the after the meeting. Tis kind of service can help previous nine Steps need to go with you, every you to feel a part of the meeting and gives you the step of the way. opportunity to talk with people casually. Te Steps teach us a way of life that other people seem to achieve without effort. For us, it is an effort.

REPEAT ON A DAILY BASIS

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The Insanity of Alcoholism

Te Insanity of Alcoholism is NOT the goofy compulsion of the body, an incomprehensible behavior that people exhibit when they are drunk. craving. Everyone who ingests enough alcohol will act Somewhere along the line, early or late, we goofy. develop an obsession with the idea that alcohol Te Insanity of Alcoholism is the alcoholic's eases our minds and solves our problems. Ten, persistent return to alcohol in the face of our physical response to alcohol manifests in what overwhelming evidence that it is destroying his or the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” calls an her life. allergy. Our alcoholic bodies process the alcohol Tere are some in our fellowship of Alcoholics in a manner that causes us to crave more. Te Anonymous who have serious mental problems, alcoholic insanity of our minds tells us that it is a but most of us joke about how "insane" or "crazy" good idea to drink to relieve our stress and to have or "goofy" we are or have been. When what we fun. Once we start, our alcoholic bodies tell us we really are talking about is our emotional must drink more to satisfy the craving. immaturity, our impulsiveness, our lack of As every alcoholic should know, that is where self-discipline – our character defects if you will. the well-known cycle begins, and continues over Most of us would have a hard time describing and over again, leading to death, incarceration, or many of our thoughts and actions as being insane. "wet brain" insanity. What Dr. Silkworth called In fact, in some areas of life, we may exhibit a the "phenomenon of craving," manifesting as an high degree of sanity. "allergy," is so overpowering that all else comes in However, there is something about the way second to our primary concern of getting the next we perceive the world around us that has always drink, even life itself takes second place. caused us a great deal of discomfort in simply Tat, my friends, is the "insanity of living our lives. alcholism." Our general discomfort with living has much It is only relieved and arrested by total to do with the way we perceive the eﬀects of abstinence, and as we have found, by the alcohol. Our falling short of what is called thorough application of the 12 Steps of AA in our "well-adjusted" is defnitely a part of our makeup lives and in all of our aﬀairs to achieve a psychic as an alcoholic. However, that alone does not change, a "spiritual awakening," leading to growth separate us much from the general population. It and maturity, and a frm grasp of the reality of life is our physical as well as our mental response to and the world about us. alcohol that is INSANE, and that is what A young man (with tears in his eyes) at his separates the alcoholic from the non-alcoholic. frst AA meeting said: Tere are two problems alcoholics have with "I'm here because I just want to live ... alcohol: 1)the obsession of the mind, and 2) the that's it ... I just want to live." It is as Simple as that!!!

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Love and Peace, Barefoot Bob H.

19th Century Engraving of the common attitude toward drinkers at the time.

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The Steps and Program What They Are—What They Are Not common problem and help others to recover from AA (the affectionate nickname for the alcoholism. fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous) is “Te only requirement for membership is a desire something different. If you think you know what to stop drinking. Tere are no dues or fees for AA it is, it will disappoint you and you will go away membership; we are self-supporting through our looking for what you expected to fnd. You will own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, miss what it is and, if you are an alcoholic of our denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any type and moving along that doomed path, what it controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any is may save your life. causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and People come to AA and try to tell themselves help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.” they already know what it is. When AA turns out to be something other than what they expected The Big Book before they arrived, they miss the message and the Te Big Book is the book “Alcoholics hope, and go away disappointed. Anonymous,” frst published in 1939, written Some people think AA is a church. It isn’t. primarily by Bill Wilson and edited through AA is a lousy church. We say that you have to discussion between the two AA groups have a power greater than yourself, which most of (approximately 100 alcoholics) with additional us call God, but we do not tell you what to input from family and various professionals. Te believe. If you want church, go to church. Tat’s book was written to carry the system of 12-Steps where they do “church” right. for Recovery - Recovery from the hopeless condition of alcoholism. It marked the frst time a Tey think AA is therapy. AA is lousy system was in place that could be worked if the therapy. If you want therapy, go to therapy. Tat’s instructions were followed. “Do the Work and where they do “therapy” right. Many of us have you get the Result.” used therapy as part of our program, but AA is not therapy. The Twelve Steps Tey think AA is social services. Some AAs Te Twelve Steps are a set of principles, have been known to share cigarettes, rides, or spiritual in nature ... Although based on the work have allowed a newcomer to sleep on the couch, outlined by the Oxford Group, a previous but AA is lousy social services. Go to social fellowship, the Steps were actually written down services for that - they do it better. for the frst time in 1938 during the writing of the Big Book. The Preamble “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and The Program women who share their experience, strength and Te Program is the system of Recovery. Like hope with each other that they may solve their all programs it is “a set of instructions to be followed in order.” Tis means that jumping out – 27 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition of sequence makes it impossible to work the Language of the Heart – Bill Wilson's articles Program effectively. Te Program is referred to a from the Grapevine couple of times in the Big Book as “a design for Experience, Strength & Hope – a collection of living” that really works. It is based on the Twelve all of the individual stories of Recovery from Steps, which are to be used as tools in our daily all four editions of the Big Book life Daily Refections – A book of refections by The Fellowship AA members for AA members Grapevine – AA’s magazine Te Fellowship is the collection of individuals, groups, and service structure that allows the Tere are other “conference approved” books regular meetings to exist and allows newcomers to from WSO, plus several dozen pamphlets fnd those meetings. Te Fellowship is where we addressing individual topics of interest to those in fnd the experience, strength, and hope of our Recovery. members, whether in a discussion meeting, from The Twelve Traditions the podium at a speakers meeting, or across two Te Twelve Traditions are a series of cups of coffee in a late-night diner. suggested guidelines to ensure the survival of AA The Literature and the independence of the individual and Te Literature refers to those pieces of groups that compose AA. Tey are based on our “conference approved” books, pamphlets, and frst few decades of trial and error and do not hold multi-media presentations that have gone through the power of law over members or groups. Tey the process of review and revision by the serve as guides based on our previous experience, fellowship through the World Service strength, and hope as a Fellowship. Organization (WSO). Te purpose of “conference The Twelve Concepts approved” literature is to ensure that the content While the Steps and Traditions are commonly is a result of our shared experience in Recovery – discussed in many meetings, there is a third not just an opinion from one person. document that is used in guiding the conduct of Conference approved literature includes: AA service boards or committees. Te concepts Alcoholics Anonymous – Te Big Book are not a secret, but people usually do not Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions – Te 12 encounter them until they have established their & 12 own Recovery for a couple of years and are ready Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers – AA to get involved with Service in a more structured History, the Akron viewpoint from Dr. Bob setting. Pass It On – AA History, the New York Te concepts are usually read at the beginning viewpoint from Bill W. of meetings for local Intergroups, District AA Comes of Age – AA organizational history Committees, Area Conferences and WSO starting with the 1955 World Service functions. Conference. More on the Steps Living Sober – Daily Guide for living the AA Alcoholics Anonymous is a Program3 of way. Action, and the Twelve Steps are the Actions that Came to Believe – Exploration of 2nd and 3rd we have followed to attain and maintain Sobriety. Step topics.

3 A Program is “A set of instructions, to be followed in order.” Tis is true of computer programs, football programs, band programs, etc.

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Working the Steps gives us the simple and wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, direct actions necessary to help us from picking up taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing oﬀ a drink or any other mind-altering substance forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking outside of direct medical supervision. more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, Working the Steps helps us fnd the way to accepting voluntary commitment to asylums; we deal with the guilt, shame, remorse, and fear that could increase the list ad infnitum.” arises when we have stopped medicating ourselves - Page 31, Alcoholics Anonymous with alcohol (and often with other substances and behaviors). Since the time when that was written, we have Working the Steps helps us learn to face and added professional treatment centers, drugs to heal our pasts giving us time in the present to keep you “sober,” therapies, workshops, books, enjoy our lives, to become positive contributing classes, tapes, CDs, websites, and support groups members of our families and communities, and to — along with those who oppose one or more of live without the Fear that formerly drove our lives. these approaches. Working these Steps leads us to a Spiritual Te program of Alcoholics Anonymous Awakening. addresses these other methods in two of its traditions: It is not required that the desire for Sobriety exists for us to begin working the Steps. Tat can Tradition Nine: AA, as such, ought never be come later. organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. How could you want Sobriety? How can you Tradition Ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no want something that was not part of your life opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name before? How many people do you party with who ought never be drawn into public controversy. were sober? If you had a period of sobriety from one of the many methods available but went back Troughout AA literature they acknowledge to drinking, how much of your experience was a that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to real commitment to being Sober? achieve and maintain Sobriety. For some people those other techniques have worked. You do not have to want Sobriety to begin. You only need to know Step Zero. At this point it Some problem drinkers have simply set their is only necessary that you know your life cannot minds to achieve Sobriety, fought the battle alone, continue on as it has. You do not need to know and won. Others have gone back to church, the new way yet, but only be convinced that the stopped drinking, and lived new, sober, and old way must stop, no matter what! successful lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, and lived healthy, successful lives. At this point most alcoholics begin a long struggle to stop on their own – and to stay But people in AA know the other side of that stopped. In the Big Book this is well described in reality — we have seen people who have come, the chapter “More About Alcoholism”: achieved success to the point of achieving years of Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking “Here are some of the methods we have tried: drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and “Drinking beer only, limiting the number of death. drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never And death is not the worst thing that can having it in the house, never drinking during happen when someone goes back to drinking. business hours, drinking only at parties, switching When Step Zero has been achieved, years of from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural struggle can end in disaster.

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At that point, you have the choice to try jitters if you get a full knowledge of your another method, or (if you feel your problem and condition.” Page 31 your life is as we describe it, you may then choose Te First Step requires something simple yet to join us and work the Steps. very difficult — the new man or woman must Why Work the Steps? determine for himself or herself if the conditions of Step One are true. Tis means you must “Working the Steps” means following the become honest enough to admit that these directions given in the book Alcoholics conditions are already true. Anonymous, which presented the Steps that are now used by more than sixty Twelve Step Step Zero fellowships. For most of us, Step Zero has been taken by Step One is difficult. It is a merciless screaming something like: “Tis must STOP!” admission that goes against everything an Step Zero is that point where you understand alcoholic has believed about his or her mastery of that your Problem, as shown through excessive life. drinking and/or drugging, has got to stop. Tis is Many people fght admitting that they are in not a Step from the Big Book, but everyone we the grip of a disease and mental compulsion that have encountered who has succeeded with fnding they cannot consciously master. Despite all and maintaining Sobriety reports that they evidence they have before them, the true alcoholic reached this point. believes that with more strength, with more will, Troughout AA literature they acknowledge with more determination, they will one day be that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to able to control their drinking and return to achieve and maintain Sobriety. For some people drinking without the problems and consequences. those other techniques have worked. “Many pursue this delusion to the gates of Some problem drinkers have simply set their insanity or death!” Page 30 minds to Sobriety, fought the battle alone, and Until they admit to their innermost selves that won. Others have gone back to church, stopped if they take a single drink, they cannot guarantee drinking, and lived new, sober, and successful how long they will drink, how much they will lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, drink, what they will do while drunk, or where and lived healthy, successful lives. they will be when they wake up. But people in AA know the other side of that “Lack of power, that is our dilemma.” Page 45 reality — we have seen people who have come, Te powerless of this dilemma makes Step achieved success to the point of taking years of One require a great deal of work, made more Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking difficult by the fact that we do not have the drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and authority to declare any man or woman to be an death. alcoholic. And death is not the worst thing that can “We do not like to pronounce any individual as happen when anyone goes back to drinking. alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, When Step Zero has been achieved, years of step over to the nearest barroom and try some struggle can end in disaster. controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take Have you reached Step Zero? long for you to decide, if you are honest with Have you tried everything within your power yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of to get sober and to stay sober?

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Is your life, with or without alcohol, Even if they have no idea of what a “spiritual unmanageable? Tis means the results of your best life” might be. thoughts, plans, eﬀorts, and actions have been Even if they lived what they thought was a tried and the results have been completely deeply “spiritual life” but returned to drinking and unmanageable by you. the dark despair that comes with relapse. We do know that people who fnd AA (and Even if they believe there is no hope. not everyone knows about Alcoholics Te Twelve Steps do not require that you Anonymous) who stay and who actually do Te believe Recovery is even possible when you come Work of the Twelve Steps, do recover. through the door. Even if they don’t believe it will work. You only need to know that you cannot Even if they don’t like it. continue the way of life you have led before. Even if they don’t understand it. You might come in because of a threat from a Even if they are uncomfortable doing Te spouse, or a judge, or a doctor, or an employer. Work. It doesn’t matter. Even if they are not religious. Show up. Come to see if what we have can Even if they don’t fnd the spirituality others help you. Come to see if you are really an would approve of. alcoholic — or not. Even if they use the AA Group itself as their If you decide you are an alcoholic and have Higher Power. seen people with the kind of Recovery you would Even if they suﬀer great reversals in health, like to have, do the Steps. love, and fnances. Do Te Work, even if you don’t think it will Even if they fnd great success in health, love, work for you. Te Twelve Steps work. and fnances. Period.

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Issues Other Than Alcohol

A Short History of Drug Abuse and mail order drug sales, often on the same For most of US History, alcohol has been page. legal. In some communities, and briefy on the Cocaine was introduced in the south and on national level, it was made illegal, but that never plantations in Latin America, to get slaves to resulted in a lack of alcohol. work faster – and was accompanied with a series From the beginnings of the drug trade in the of drug laws that can only be described as racist. 19th Century, drugs were not regulated, Public outcry demanded that all drugs be forbidden, or illegal. Tey were looked down banned, but the lobbies for two of the drugs were upon, like alcohol, and identifed their own class too strong to permit such legislation. Tose two of addicts as alcohol attracted its alcoholics. drugs are still in use today: nicotine and caffeine. It was the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs By the 1930s, everything except nicotine and that identifed the problem they created. caffeine became underworld commodities, and While alcohol and drugs were legal, both moonshiners continued to produce alcoholic were highly proftable industries that defended beverages after prohibition when the taxes were themselves from legislation. Prohibition drove felt to be unfair. the problem of alcohol into criminal hands. After World War II, a whole new galaxy of Alcohol became more proftable when controlled drugs began to appear, only to be banned one at a by the underworld. Drugs too went from legal time in later legislation, either locally or federally. industries to criminalization, and profteering by Te use of tranquilizers, diet pills, recreational the underworld, and some of the newer drugs formulations, hallucinogens, and “designer drugs” were created for legitimate reasons, but found began and continues to rise to this day. their way into underworld channels. 12-Step programs make it clear that it is not Te frst pain killer was alcohol and it the substance that creates the alcoholic or the remained the only option for many lifetimes. addict. When morphine entered the country, it was a hit “Terefore, the main problem of the alcoholic for medical therapies and was highly addictive. centers in his mind, rather than in his body...” During the Civil War soldiers of the North and Page 22 South became so hooked on morphine, it was identifed as “Te Soldier’s Disease.” Exploration of this statement in relation to the changes in our society, in medicine and In the magazines of the day, ads could be psychiatry, since the days when the Big Book was found that offered the cure for Alcoholism, the written, brings new questions related to cure for Morphine addiction, (the cure for prescriptions and mental health. morphine addiction was…heroin). Tere were advertisements for brewery equipment, needles,

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A Short History of Mental Illness prescribed drugs could elevate the psychotic to Like alcoholism and drug addiction, there is the point where they could enjoy the same nothing new about Mental Illness except for the substance or behavior free life as any other name. candidate for membership in AA. For centuries, people with a wide array of If they had the desire to stop drinking (which problems that now come under the umbrella of assumes they had experienced a problem with “mental illness” were known under other names. alcohol) they could get sober and work the Steps Tey were “mad,” “inverted,” “selfsh,” or (most as equals. unfortunately) “demon possessed.” “Te capacity to be honest,” which had been Untreated and without hope, these people impossible to produce before, was appearing in were shunned or isolated, at best. Professional men and women who would have previously been remedies consisted of exile, expulsion, considered unreachable. imprisonment, confnement, experimentation, Individuals in AA, who have no training in and attempts to heal the coditions with methods medical or psychiatric matters, who would never we now call torture, or even sanctioned murder. presume to prescribe for polio, toothache, cancer, Treatment models began to appear in the or other medical problems, sometimes feel fully 19th Century and continue to evolve. For qualifed to pronouce judgement on anyone in example the “belladonna” treatment for treatment. We have heard many stories of people alcoholics, subjected sufferers to an array of in treatment for mental illness with a grumble of revolutionary treatments with limited success, if “you’re not really sober if you take that dope from any at all. Water treatments, electric shock, the doctor.” Time and again, newcomers who “magnetic” treatment, lights, salves, aromas, want to be ‘good AAs’ have gone off their symbols, diets, restraints, magnets, radio waves, medications based on such advice, had psychotic radiation, and bizarre concoctions passed into breaks and if they were lucky enough to make it and out of favor. back to sobriety, were subjected to the same Te evolution of psychiatry as “the talking judgement by amateurs who feel qualifed to cure” seemed successful for the depressed, speak despite their complete ignorance of the neurotic, or those driven into “crazy” behaviors as medical realities for that person. a response to events in their lives, but not until Someone who has no training or degree may the latter part of the 20th Century did a drive a newcomer away with their judgements. pharmacological component enter the treatment. Tis person is simply indulging in his or her own Certain conditions, it appeared, were the infated Ego. If they are not a psychiatrist, they result of actual chemical imbalances in the body have an ‘opinion’ - which costs nothing and may of the afflicted. Lithium salts produce positive not be correct for this newcomer. results in manic-depressives (now called Again - bi-polar), but other drugs were developed that “Terefore, the main problem of the alcoholic produced varying degrees of success in the centers in his mind, rather than in his body...” patients identifed as mentally or emotionally ill. Page 22 While a good argument can be made that the Necessary Medications professional community began prescribing these In the beginning of Chapter Five, the Big drugs to quiet a patient’s symptoms (and Book refers to those complaints) without affecting real change, others report that the judicious use of psychologically

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“… who suﬀer from grave emotional and mental 5. Te patient always asks if he/she can take disorders, but many of them do recover if they less than the prescribed amount. (Never have the capacity to be honest.” more.) In the progress of psychiatry, pharmacology, 6. Having expressed those concerns with the and various therapies, those with the grave doctor, the patient takes the prescription as emotional and mental disorders of Bill W.’s day prescribed. can be elevated to the same starting point as any 7. Taking one milligram (1 mg) over the other alcoholic through judicious use of prescribed dosage is using and the sobriety appropriate medications. For decades, individual date must change. members of AA have demonized anyone in such Patients may want a second opinion on their circumstances with the taunt, “if you’re taking treatment, which should be discussed with pills, you aren’t really sober.” his/her Sponsor, before changing physicians. Te Over the years, unknown numbers of Sponsor can be of no use if the person attempting alcoholics, really wanted to be sober, have to fnd lasting sobriety is not open and honest listened to the reprimand, thrown away their with that Sponsor. prescribed medications, and were quickly lost in Over the years a series of guidelines have drunkenness or various forms of social and literal evolved to guide a sober member’s relationship to suicide. prescriptions that are judged necessary to One member in a local fellowship who picked maintaining Recovery, specifcally realated to up a 20-year chip after almost 20 years of trying chemical imbalances related to mental health: to get one year of sobriety, told the gathering at Everyone in AA has opinions, but it is unfair his Home Group: “I listened to people who told to risk another’s sobriety or life based on mere me that if I didn’t stop using my meds, I wasn’t opinion. sober, and I wanted to be sober more than Identification in Meetings anything. So I threw away my meds and wound up psychotic, drunk, and in jail or a hospital – or Te Tird Tradition states the only both. Without my meds, I cannot get to the qualifcation for membership is that a person starting point of being honest.” attending must have “the desire to stop drinking,” but not to the exclusion of all other Guidelines for Prescriptions Recovery needs. Over the years, a few guidelines have evolved One member expressed the idea best with a regarding how to deal with the prescriptions simple statement: “I have other substances in my required by those in medical treatment for mental story, but in an AA meeting, I do not share my or emotional problems. Tese guidelines may or war story from those substances. I share my may not be acceptable to people within Recovery. I never want to be responsible for a Alcoholics Anonymous. newcomer leaving their frst AA meeting 1. Te patient does not choose the substance. thinking ‘I don’t belong in AA, I never used 2. Te patient does not choose the amount. ______.’” 3. Te prescription must be written by a Tat does not mean that one is supposed to doctor who has seen the patient and knows be a ‘pure’ alcoholic, which almost seems to be a the specifcs of his/her case. contradiction in terms. 4. Te patient describes to the doctor his/her Te strict identifcation of your own needs in condition, sobriety needs, and concerns Recovery does come into play with “closed regarding prescriptions. meetings”. “Open” meetings may be attended by

– 34 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition anyone, whether they qualify as an alcoholic or tells him or herself, “I do not belong in not. “Closed” meetings require that ONLY Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn’t use drugs like people who qualify as an alcoholic may attend. that. I didn’t do those things.” By tradition, every AA meeting has the right In the many other 12-Step fellowships, there to set up their meeting as they see ft and some is a similar ‘primary purpose’ of identifying one’s meetings are strict about being an alcoholic. own qualifcation for belonging which provides But it has never been said that if you are an clarity of those meetings. But qualifcation is an alcoholic, you must be ‘just’ an alcoholic. important part of the First Step by admitting that In his story, Bill W. writes of the use of heavy we are an alcoholic (or the qualifer for the other sedatives, Dr. Bob was given a “goofball” on the fellowship you are attending). morning of his frst day of sobriety, and several admit authors whose stories have appeared in the back [ad-mit] verb (used with object), admitted, of the four editions of the Big Book have shared admitting. that drugs have also played a part in their stories, 1. to allow to enter; grant or afford entrance to: and their personal recoveries. to admit a student to college. Dozens of other 12-Steps programs began to 2. to give right or means of entrance to: Tis appear as we recognized that abusers of other ticket admits two people. substances and behaviors could beneft from this program of vigorous action and spiritual 3. to permit to exercise a certain function or awakening. Al-Anon became an official new privilege: admitted to the bar. program, closely followed by Narcotics 4. to allow or concede as valid: to admit the Anonymous (NA). force of an argument. When one identifes with Alcoholics Synonym - receive. 6. own, avow. See Anonymous, it does not mean that Recovery is “acknowledge.” not needed for the abuse of other substances In the beginning, newcomers are easily and/or behaviors. Many of us need to keep in thrown off focus by outside issues, including mind several defnitions of ‘sobriety’ as we go drugs. Te alcoholic, who is also a drug addict or about our daily lives. addicted to some other substance or behavior, We have watched people claim they are ‘still needs to respect the AA Newcomer who does not sober’ who have stopped drinking, but continued have these other addictions. Teir story may to use various narcotics outside of a qualifed include drugs, but in meetings we are supposed doctor’s care. to share our struggle in Recovery rather than reinforce our wretched past. Qualification in Meetings Te Tird Tradition does not require that a Te intent of making members “qualify” in member identify himself or herself in any way; meetings (to identify as an alcoholic, or an that identifcation is a local custom. In most addict, or other identifcations for other areas, they identify themselves by name and some Programs) is to provide a common focus. We way of saying that they are alcoholic. In other form a fellowship of people attending the areas, they simply say their name and omit any meeting, particularly in a “closed” meeting, who identifcation. share the same alcoholic reality – that no Tis does not mean a member may not suffer newcomer leaves their frst meeting hearing additional problems, addressed by active about the well-established or most recent trends participation in other fellowships – it is simply a in drug abuse and psychiatric problems, and then

– 35 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition clarifcation of their participation in that judges other people’s behavior is unclear of what meeting’s singleness of purpose. we mean by “sobriety.” As always, a dictionary After the end of World War II, when the defnition is a good place to begin: Second Edition of our Big Book was prepared, so·bri·e·ty [suh-brahy-i-tee, soh-] –noun the world had changed. Illegal drugs and the 1. the state or quality of being sober. abuse of prescription drugs had fourished as never before in history. Designer drugs appeared 2. temperance or moderation, especially, (but to open new markets or escape existing laws. not only) in the use of alcoholic beverages. However, the intent remains the same, the 3. seriousness, gravity, or solemnity: an event compulsion remains the same, and (we hope) the marked by sobriety. dedication to the Twelve Steps and Recovery If the problem “centers primarily in the remains the same. alcoholics mind” and we have identifed “the” Bill Wilson wrote several times that the real result of these Steps to be a Spiritual Awakening, goal of AA was emotional sobriety, the ability to then the repair of the problem and monitoring deal with life on life’s terms without mind the result becomes our functioning defnition of altering drugs. It was his intent, as he reportedly “sober.” said several times, to allow the alcoholic to attain In each program, we celebrate the time free a level of maturity and responsibility to permit from the substance or behavior that got us into them to function in the world exactly as a the door. non-alcoholic, healthy person. People would not When attending a closed AA meeting, we need to consider their alcoholic past in their respect that door when asked to identify dealings. Te recovering alcoholic was to be held ourselves. We may qualify for membership in to the same standard as a non-alcoholic – other 12-Step programs, but within AA, we are a through the Steps they would be elevated to recovering “alcoholic.” common expectation of any healthy, functioning A list of other 12-Step programs, which may member of society. be needed in addition to AA, is provided at the Te member who claims “sobriety,” but still end of this book. indulges in drugs, crime, abusive behavior or who

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BAREFOOTSWORLD.NET

What Does “Going to Any Lengths” Mean? I have been asked this question again and again. I’ve also brought this subject up to just about every person I have ever worked with through the Steps. What follows is generally my response, taken from two sources. Te only thing that I would want to add to this is living the Oxford Group’s Four Absolutes of Honesty, Unselfshness, Purity, and Love (which can be found in their reverse negative form in the Big Book at the Fourth Step, Tenth Step, and Eleventh Step). – Barefoot Bob

Te following Ten Points are a summary of PAGE 8 (FIRST STEP) the lifesaving directions given in the “How It No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I Works” section of Chapter Five of the book found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese ten points have stretched around me in all directions. I had met always been a failsafe guide for people who want my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was to practice the Twelve Steps and they are to be my master. considered as part of your daily Program. PAGE 12 (SECOND STEP) – Completely give yourself to this simple Program. My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own – Practice rigorous honesty. conception of God?" – Be willing to go to any lengths to recover. Tat statement hit me hard. It melted the icy – Be fearless and thorough in your practice of the intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had principles. lived and shivered many years. I stood in the – Realize that there is no easier, softer way. sunlight at last. – Let go of your old ideas absolutely. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was – Recognize that half measures will not work. required of me to make my beginning. I saw that – Ask God’s protection and care with complete growth could start from that point. Upon a abandon. foundation of complete willingness I might build – Be willing to grow along spiritual lines. what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would! – Accept the following pertinent ideas as proved Tus was I convinced that God is concerned with by AA experience: us humans when we want Him enough. At long a) that you cannot manage your own life; last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and b) that probably no human power can restore prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came you to sanity; into view. c) that God can and will if sought. PAGES 13–16 (STEPS 3 THROUGH 12) Te following is taken from parts of Chapter Tere I humbly oﬀered myself to God, as I then I One “Bill’s Story” in the Big Book: understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the frst time that of myself I was

– 37 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly surely die. Ten faith would be dead indeed. With us faced my sins and became willing to have my it is just like that. new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm I have not had a drink since. to the idea of helping other alcoholics to fnd a solution My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him to their problems. It was fortunate, for my old business with my problems and defciencies. We made a list of associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I during which I found little work. I was not too well expressed my entire willingness to approach these at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be and resentment. Tis sometimes nearly drove me back critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the to drink, but I soon found that when all other utmost of my ability. measures failed, work with another alcoholic would I was to test my thinking by the new save the day. Many times I have gone to my old God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going. doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to We commenced to make many fast friends and a pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a usefulness to others. Ten only might I expect to wonderful thing to feel a part. Te joy of living we receive. But that would be in great measure. really have, even under pressure and diﬃculty. I have My friend promised when these things were done I seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that would enter upon a new relationship with my really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all living which answered all my problems. Belief in the sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and and resume a vital place in the lives of their families Humility to establish and maintain the new order of and communities. Business and professional men have things, were the essential requirements. regained their standing. Tere is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant among us. In one western city and its environs there destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all are one thousand of us and our families. We meet things to the Father of Light who presides over us all. frequently so that newcomers may fnd the fellowship While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there they seek. At these informal gatherings one may often were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be see from 50 to 200 persons. We are growing in glad to have what had been so freely given me. numbers and power. Perhaps I could help some of them. Tey in turn might Tere is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I work with others. suppose some would be shocked at our seeming My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is demonstrating these principles in all my aﬀairs. deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four Particularly was it imperative to work with others as hours a day in and through us, or we perish. he had worked with me. Faith without works was Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the have it with us right here and now. Each day my alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and friend's simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a enlarge his spiritual life through work and widening circle of peace on earth and good will to self-sacrifce for others, he could not survive the certain men. trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he – Bill Wilson, 1954 would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would

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Understanding Anonymity

Dr. Bob said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can't be reached by other drunks. Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers Page 264 Te 11th Tradition states, in the short form, "Eleven – Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and flms." (And we might also add TV at AA Co-Founder - Dr. “Bob” Smith this level for further restriction.) So many in Alcoholics Anonymous, both Te 12th Tradition states, in the short form, old-timers and newcomers alike, do not have an "Twelve – Anonymity is the spiritual foundation understanding of the 11th and 12th Traditions of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place relating to Anonymity; the relationship of principles before personalities." (Even before my Anonymity to the Spiritual Ideals contained in own personality.) the 12 Steps of AA; or the principles and ideals of Trust, Honesty, Hope, Faith, Courage, Integrity, Dr. Bob stated that within the group, every Willingness, Humility, Brotherly Love, Justice, member should know the frst name, last name, Perseverance, Spirituality, and Service to One address and phone number of all the members in Another. the group. If these are not known, then we as a group are operating above the level of anonymity To the extent that my Sponsors explained it to intended – We are not able to be of Service to me, and from what I have read from the history of One Another in time of need. AA, I will try to put this vital issue into some kind of proper perspective. Did you ever try to look up someone in the phone book without knowing their last name? Or Tese selections from AA literature clarify the did you ever go into a hospital or jail to try to visit 11th Tradition and its intent. or carry a meeting to a sick or incarcerated In some sections of AA, anonymity is carried to the member, and stand there with your mouth point of real absurdity. Members are on such a hanging open, when asked, "What is their name?" poor basis of communication that they don't even know each other's last names or where each lives. “Sorry about that but we have our policies and As Bill Sees It, page 241 procedures Sorry we can't help you."

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Let us see what the long form of the 11th and violation of this Tradition. Te AA who hides his 12th Traditions say about understanding identity from his fellow AA by using only a given Anonymity and the Principles we ought to live by. name violates the Tradition just as much as the 11. – Our relations with the general public should AA who permits his name to appear in the press be characterized by personal anonymity. We think in connection with matters pertaining to AA. A. A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our "Te former is maintaining his anonymity names and pictures as AA members ought not be ABOVE the level of press, radio, and flms, and broadcast, flmed or publicly printed. Our public the latter is maintaining his anonymity BELOW relations should be guided by the principle of the level of press, radio, and flms - whereas the attraction rather than promotion. Tere is never Tradition states that we should maintain our need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our anonymity AT the level of press, radio, and flms." friends recommend us. Dr. Bob's comment 12. – And fnally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous Our Egos are trying to get attention. We lose believe that the principle of anonymity has an our Humility and spoil the great blessing we have immense spiritual signifcance. It reminds us that been given. Te truth is that any one of us may we are to place principles before personalities; that fail to stay sober as a result of our Ego and failure we are actually to practice a genuine Humility. to practice the steps in all our affairs. We should Tis to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful be ever mindful that no action we take as contemplation of Him who presides over us all. individual members should affect AA as a whole. Our very lives depend upon the survival of AA Ahh yes. We are to be anonymous relative to and our Unity. Without AA, all we have left is the "General Public,” as members of Alcoholics drunkenness and the slide into oblivion. Anonymous. We ought not be publicly identifed as members of Alcoholics Anonymous in the Te principle of Trust is frst and foremost, press, on the radio, or in flms, videos, and TV, or the foundation of all spiritual principles and any media which is disseminated to the General ideals. We should never break another member's Public. It is a Humility thing; we have no need to anonymity to anyone outside the AA group. To say "How great we are!" We think that in this do so would break Trust, and without Trust, all respect the Humility of AA will attract more the other principles are Impossible. suffering alcoholics to the program than any Has any alcoholic ever been able to be amount of advertising or promotion. It is a matter Honest, or practice any of the other principles and of Trust. ideals, with something or someone he didn't trust? "Since our Tradition on anonymity designates Of course not. the exact level where the line should be drawn, it We may break our own anonymity in the must be obvious to everyone who can read and process of trying to help another, but we must understand the English language that to maintain never break the anonymity of another. anonymity at any other level is defnitely a

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Looking at the First Three Steps

Having covered the information in pages xxiii Do I have a conception of that Power which through page 63 of the Big Book, Alcoholics makes sense to me? (page 46) Anonymous, we asked ourselves the following When we became alcoholics, crushed by a questions when taking the frst three Steps. self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or FIRST STEP evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition We admitted we were powerless over that either God is everything or else He is alcohol that our lives had become nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What is my unmanageable. choice to be? (page 53) Because so much of the Program revolves If, when I honestly want to, can I quit entirely around your Spiritual Life, we have created a (because of the mental obsession), or if when whole section devoted the the Question of Spirit. drinking, do I have little control over the amount I take (because of the physical allergy)? THIRD STEP If you’ve answered “no” to the frst part and Made a decision to turn our will and our “yes” to the second, you’re probably alcoholic. If lives over to the care of God as we that be the case, you may be suffering from an understood Him. illness which only a spiritual experience will Tird Step Decision conquer. (page 30) “Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of Drunk or sober (suffering from “untreated life, God was going to be our Director. He is the alcoholism”), do I have trouble with personal Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, relationships? Can I control my emotional and we are His children.” Page 62 natures? Am I a prey to misery and depression? To affirm this decision, we say the Tird Step Can I make a living (a happy and contented life)? Prayer: Do I have a feeling of uselessness? Am I full of “God, I offer myself to Tee—to build with me fear? Am I unhappy? Do I fnd that I can’t seem and to do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the to be of real help to other people? (page 52) bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Do I fully concede to my innermost self that I Take away my difficulties, that victory over them am alcoholic? (page 44) may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love, and Ty Way of life. May I do SECOND STEP Ty will always!” Page 63 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. “Tird Step Prayer” from the Big Book is a suggestion. Some people with serious sobriety, Do I now believe, or am I even willing to serious clean time, may have presented it to you as believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? a ritual. (page 47)

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Te Prayer they present is not a magic do for language, you can take the Prayer and restate it in you because you said the magic words. your own words so that you can say a heartfelt You must say the Prayer, but in your own Prayer of surrender and willingness to proceed words. Remember, in the following paragraph the with your Recovery. book says: In the Tird Step we decided to turn our “Te wording was, of course, quite optional so thoughts and actions over to the care of God. Te long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without way we carry out that decision is by taking the reservation. Tis was only a beginning, though if actions of Steps 4 through 9. We found in honestly and humbly made, an eﬀect, sometimes a Chapter 4, “We Agnostics,” that God dwells deep very great one, was felt at once.” Page 63 down within us. We’ve been blocked from God’s Now, with all of this said, we need to get to Power because of our own self-will – our character the meat of the Tird Step. As you may have defects and shortcomings (i.e. selfshness, heard “making a decision” means nothing until it dishonesty, resentment, fear, guilt, shame, is followed with the commitment to take actions. remorse, anger, etc.). Te frst step of getting us If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the “unblocked” is Fourth Step: Made a searching and words as written in the Big Book, if you do not fearless moral Inventory of ourselves. use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal

A complete guide to working The Steps is found in the section “STEPS AND TRADITIONS”, later in this book

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RECOVERY READER, SECOND EDITION

Spirituality

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of this program...” From the Twelfth Step Te Spiritual Awakening is the only result of the Twelve Step program of Recovery. Te restoration of health, happiness, belonging, character, and material possessions are refections of our acceptance of this life-changing gift. Tis is the most personal aspect of Recovery. Each member of Recovery has a slightly diﬀerent personal way of describing it, living it, and sharing it, but they all refect “THE Result.” Tese articles are oﬀered to help achieve and sustain this personal experience and surrender to our Spiritual way of life. God As You Understand God

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Religion and Alcoholism

Every culture has had something to say about Te Native American/First Nations have alcoholism. For Christians and Jews, it can be borne the hardest hit from alcoholism from the found in the Old Testament, Proverbs 23:29-35, very beginning. While Central and South they say: American pre-Columbian civilizations had 29) Who hath woe? Who hath sorrow? Who hath alcohol in various forms, the North American contentions? Who hath babbling? Who hath tribes did not have long term exposure to alcohol wounds without cause? Who hath redness of eyes? and its eﬀects. 30) Tey that tarry long at the wine; they that go Te frst guides to Recovery in this country to seek mixed wine. came with a spiritual way of life advocated by 31) Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, tribes in the early 18th Century. But even with when it giveth his color in the cup, when it this early start, one out of every six deaths on moveth itself aright. Reservations and one in every ten deaths in Native 32) At the last it biteth like a serpent, and communities is attributed directly to alcohol or stingeth like an adder. alcoholism4. 33) Tine eyes shall behold strange women, and Te earliest eﬀorts at a spiritual approach to thine heart shall utter perverse things. freedom from alcoholism in the New World was 34) Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the in the early 17th Century through Native midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of American abstinent societies. Native Americans a mast. from North America did not have exposure prior 35) Tey have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I to it being brought by Europeans, and they had was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it no defense against alcoholism. In 2008 Federal not; when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 11.1% of deaths due to alcoholism in the In Buddhism there are the Five Precepts by Native American Community, versus 3.3% among which you are supposed to live: the non-Native population. • Avoid Killing, Indigenous people from South and Central • Avoid Lying, America did brew and use alcohol and had some • Avoid Stealing, established ability to deal with alcohol when it • Avoid Sexual Misconduct, and was introduced from colonial forces, but they also • Avoid Intoxication have a disproportionate number of deaths and Islam teaches that believers are to abstain health issues related to alcohol. from alcohol in all its forms. (Te word “alcohol” Te Twelve Step programs made a is from Arabic.) breakthrough from the Protestant Christian-only beginnings by adopting “God as you understand

4 http://www.ibtimes.com/native-americans-tragedy-alcoholism-214046 – 44 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

God.” Members with long term sobriety will tell Ego by following the directions given in the book. you that they have seen the result of the Twelve Many people report that all they needed to begin Steps beneft anyone willing to make the was the use of the fellowship as a “power greater surrender of Ego, which Recovery requires. Te than themself” and Good Orderly Direction (or results have been seen in many schools of the collective consciousness of the geshtalt in the Christianity (Catholic, Orthodox. Protestant, Group of Drunks). Evangelical, etc.), Jews, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists, Tribal members, Atheists and more. Tere is no reason the Program cannot work It even works for the most strident anti-theist, for you. if that person is willing to make the surrender of

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Stop Playing God

Sometimes at an AA meeting you will hear “But I never thought I was God,” the “Let something with the ability to do what you newcomer will protest. cannot do be your Higher Power.” Really? In my case, I was told, “Tat tree out there can Every time you decided how things should stand in one place for sixty years. You can’t do have been, or played the “If Only...” game to have that. Make that tree your Higher Power.” things work out the way you wanted them to be, I did not take well to that. “What the hell you were pushing God out in favor of your desire good will it do to have a tree as my Higher and judgement. Power?” I asked, playing right into his hands. “If only he hadn’t found out...” He grinned. He grinned that big, old, evil AA “If only she didn’t get pregnant...” Sponsor grin and said, “Tat way we git the whole “If only my parents had more money...” idea of a ‘Higher Power’ out of the hands of the asshole who has had it so far!” “If only that cop hadn’t been there...” And then I realized he meant me! Sound familiar? It was not their plan to have me make a tree, We had to give up playing God – it didn’t or a lightbulb, or a doorknob, my higher power. It work. was for me to give up the idea that “I” could be Prof. Ernie Kurtz wrote the frst signifcant my own Higher Power. work on AA History and called the book “Not You may be tempted to make your signifcant God.” It was a simple statement of who they were other your Higher Power. Or your fnancial in the beginning. Te ones who started Alcoholics security may feel like your Higher Power. Anonymous were “Not God.” I was told I had to let go of the illusion I was a We have to learn that we aren’t either. Higher Power.

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

Approaches to a Higher Power

Some people have a serious problem with of God or religion might be good for other religion or what has previously been presented to people, but almost all alcoholics convince them as “God.” themselves that it is not something they need. Tey stress that the newcomer must frst Spirituality is not based on dogma. It is a admit they cannot continue the way they have willingness to discover where they ft into the been going. Tey say that most of us have “Te universe – to fnd the place where they belong, Drunk’s Prayer,” regardless of whatever faith they their “proper size.” might express. it is commonly repeated as: Te idea of Willing Submission, whether “God, I can’t live like this. Please help me.” someone else agrees with their conception of a Te key difference between AA and the other Higher Power or not, is a commont part of most religious approaches to Recovery was that AA said religions. In Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, the alcoholic, the addict and the people qualifying Sikh and Buddhism, it is accepted that you must for other Twelve Step programs must frst get surrender your will to what each religion teaches through the door and admit their need to change is true. Te word “Islam” means “surrender.” before they can be made to jump through the Te structure of the Steps requires a hoop of religion. progression of honesty and action. Some people have been able to turn to religion Honesty and Action and be given relief from their problem with First you must admit to having the problem alcohol or drugs. Some people have also turned to that is trying to kill you. Tat is the beginning: psychology and achieved a lifetime without Honesty, and it leads to the Drunk’s Prayer. alcohol. Second you must change your thinking to But these solutions have not worked for accept that, no matter how far down you have “alcoholics of our type.” Tere are several types of gone, there is a ‘power’ that can restore you to a drinkers, but we who identify as alcoholic have a sane and useful life. particular combination of enjoying the effect of the drink (or drug), we build up a resistance and A decision is neither honest or dishonest, but require larger doses, we obssess on the next drink making the decision is Action. or dose. We become fearful when it looks as if our Taking an Inventory (Step Four) is an Action, supply will be cut off. but it requires the Honesty of Steps One, Two Fear, in fact, drives most of an alcoholic’s and Tree to achieve the ‘fearless and searching’ behavior and it is a matter of control for the qualifcation to be Honest again. alcoholic to cling to the belief that his or her To share the Inventory, to expose the secrets, answer to their problems will come from an act of admit to the guilt, confess the wrongs, and take self will, some untapped inner strength, or some the risk of revealing those truths to another new medical treatment. Te issue of spirituality,

– 47 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition human being is a key Action. And it only works if When in doubt, get busy, get Honest and – if you’re honest. it is the right thing to do – take Action. Admitting that you have defects and Suggestions shortcomings and identifying what they are is Tere is another suggestion. Completely Honesty. Becoming willing to have them removed unofficial, of course. Te person objecting to the is an Action. It is an internal action, whether “God” aspect begins their Prayer as: anyone sees it or not. “God, in whom I do not know if I will ever Asking is an Action, but have you been believe...” and then says the Prayer. Humble? If you are not Honestly Humble, you cannot expect the next actions to be meaningful. In the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Being Humble requires that you accept that the the Serenity Prayer ends with "Ty will, not mine, response you receive by asking to have defects and be done.” shortcomings removed is not up to you. It is up to Your defnition of “thy” is based on your whatever Higher Power you accepted in the personal conception of God, the Power Greater Second Step – or that has evolved since that bit of Tan Yourself. Honesty. G.O.D. Making the list of people you have harmed is It is sometimes suggested that a newcomer use more Honesty, and Action, which does not have the group as a Higher Power because the men and any effect if you are not Honest. women in that group can do what the newcomer Making Amends is more Action, but it must can’t: stay sober. Tey come to understand “God” be an Honest desire that you want to repair, or as “Good Orderly Direction” or “Group of make better, the damage you have done (the Drunks.” defnition of Amend) and that the willingness of others to accept your effort is not up to you. Doorknobs, Trees & Light Bulbs Continuing to Practice Tese Principles is Some old-timers say the struggling newcomer more Action, with the willingness to be Honest - should accept some inanimate object as their every day, all day. Higher Power. “Tat tree can stand in one spot Prayer and Meditation require Honesty to for sixty years - you can’t do that. Make that tree make the effort to express what you Honestly feel your Higher Power...” Or a light bulb. Or a (Prayer) and to make the effort to get quiet and doorknob. Meditate on the next change you make to keep Anything other than the alcoholic! Te idea is what you have found (and maybe get a little not to worship that item but to stop worshiping better). your own brain as the force that rules reality. As Carrying the Message is Action, and if you try one old-timer said, “It gets your life out of the to carry something you haven’t got, you aren’t hands of the idiot who’s had it so far!” being Honest.

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Prayers from the Big Book

THIRD STEP FIFTH STEP God, I oﬀer myself to Tee – to build with me We thank God from the bottom of our heart that and do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the we know Him better. Page 75 bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. We ask if we have omitted anything. Page 75 Take away my diﬃculties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty SIXTH STEP Power, Ty Love and Ty Way of Life. May I do If we still cling to something we will not let go, Ty will always! Page 63 we ask God to help us be willing. Page 76

FOURTH STEP SEVENTH STEP My Creator, I am now willing that You should RESENTMENT have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You We asked God to help us show them the same now remove from me every single defect of tolerance, pity, and patience that we would character which stands in the way of my cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me oﬀended we said to ourselves, “Tis is a sick man. strength, as I go out from here, to do Your How can I be helpful to him? God save me from bidding. Amen. Page 76 being angry. Ty will be done.” Page 67 EIGHTH STEP FEAR If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our comes. Page 76 attention to what He would have us be. Page 68 NINTH STEP SEX We ask God to mold our ideals and help us live LEGAL MATTERS up to them. Page 69 We ask that we be given strength and direction In Meditation, we ask God what we do about to do the right thing, no matter what the each specifc matter. Page 69 personal consequences might be. Page 79 To sum up about sex: We pray for the right ideal, OTHERS AFFECTED for guidance in each questionable situation, for If we have obtained permission, have consulted sanity and for strength to do the right thing. with others, asked God to help. Page 80 Page 70

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INFIDELITY we be given whatever we need to take care of Each might pray about it, having the other one’s such problems. We especially ask for freedom from happiness uppermost in mind. Page 82 self-will, and are careful to make no requests for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, FAMILY however, if others will be helped. We are careful So we clean house with the family, asking each never to pray for our own selfsh ends.” Page 86 morning in Meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and ALL DAY love. As we go through the day we pause, when Page 83 agitated or doubtful, and “We ask for the right thought or action.” Page 87 - 88 TENTH STEP Continue to watch for selfshness, dishonesty, TWELFTH STEP resentment and fear. When these crop up, we ask Ask Him in your morning Meditation what you God at once to remove them. Page 84 can do each day for the man who is still sick. Te answers will come IF your own house is in order. Everyday is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities. “How can I Page 164 best serve Tee – Ty will (not mine) be done.” Your job now is to be at the place where you may Page 85 be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You ELEVENTH STEP should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on NIGHT earth on such an errand. Keep on the fring line After mediation on the day just completed, “We of life with these motives and God will keep you ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective unharmed. Page 102 measures should be taken.” Page 86 But Remember...

MORNING Te wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without Before we begin our day, “We ask God to direct reservation. Page 63 our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity... dishonest or self-seeking When ready, we say something like this... motives.” Page 76 Page 86 Prayers recited like magic incantations can In thinking about our day, “We ask God for have little eﬀect. We must pray from our heart, inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision.” with all the honesty and willingness to mean Page 87 exactly what we say. After meditation, “We ask God to show us all through the day what our next step is to be, that

It works, if we work it. We will die, if we don’t.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Problems with Prayer Overcoming the Intellectualization of Prayer Many people arrive in AA with a bias against For the Non-Christian Objection the custom of saying Prayers, or at least the Alcoholics began as part of a Christian Prayers common in the Program and Meetings. organization, the Oxford Group. When asked to For the Christian Objection provide a “Christmas Message” for the Grapevine in 1953, Bill Wilson responded by saying: Many Christians take the injunction against memorized or dictated Prayers seriously. Tis is “Te more I thought it over the more I got found in the New Testament in Mark 6:4 and 6:5 buﬀaloed. I said, ’Gee, this society of ours has moved into every quarter of the Earth. Here a “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the great many of us are Christians. A good many are hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in not. We have Jews who look to Jehovah. Out on the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, the plains we have Indians who look to the Great that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto Spirit. And now that we have established you, they have their reward. beachheads in the Pacifc Islands, in Asia, in “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy India, in South Africa... We know that we have closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to brothers and sisters who look to Allah, and some to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father Buddha.’ which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” “And I thought to myself, ’How can anybody When the groups perform the “Serenity possibly talk about Christmas to all these?’ Prayer,” “Te Lord’s Prayer,” or the “St. Francis “Ten came this thought, ’Well, by whatever name Prayer,” many are simply showing the willingness we call it, we of AA have Christmas every day. In to participate in the ritual of opening or closing a the sense that we give and in the sense that we meeting. receive.’ It is not Prayer – it is ritual and extends the “Yes. Te kind of giving that demands no reward. comfort of a predictability to approach the serious Te kind of loving that bears no price tag.” work of Recovery. Bill Wilson, 1953 Tey do not know they are not praying, but At his 18th Anniversary many use this avenue to fnd their way to faith When AA separated from the Oxford Group, while confronting the pain and crisis created by the invitation to Recovery took the form of a alcoholism. Higher Power, “a God of your understanding,” Most meetings allow for personal Prayer in which can be the God of your own faith. silence, but your participation is an act of willing Some people think the AA program is trying submission to the process of Spiritual Awakening, to convert everyone to a specifc religion. Religion which is the only result of the Twelfth Step and is not the job of AA – faith is the job of the the eﬀect for which we work, regardless of your specifc beliefs of a Spiritual life.

– 51 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition person in Recovery and is between them and their Tose who do not have a faith, or are very personal Higher Power. actively against the very concept of any religion, may have a more difficult job attaining and For the Non-Believer Objection sustaining long-term Sobriety. Our Egos may Contrary to propaganda spread about push us to stop drinking for months, or even Alcoholics Anonymous as a religious front, those years, but we can be guaranteed that life will who do not believe, or actively do not believe, are provide some punches that will require more than welcome and invited into the rooms. our solitary mental prowess can muster. We would not be in AA if we had not already Many people that come to AA use the rooms experienced enough of a change to know that our (the body of people who stay sober) as their Power ideas had proved false and did not keep us sober. Greater than Temselves. Tey could do together On page 52 of the Big Book, after outlining the what they failed to do alone and they were a various forms of suffering that our unmanageable visible resource for those who could not, or would lives had presented to us we asked: not, concede the core of “spiritual.” “Was not a basic solution of these bedevilments Turning back to our favorite reference, more important than whether we should see dictionary.com, we fnd several entries for newsreels of lunar fight? Of course it was.” “spiritual:” Page 52 spir·it·u·al [spir-i-choo-uhl] – adjective Many Christians object to the Prayers, as well, 1. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; because their faith tells them to pray from the incorporeal. heart, not based on set, scripted Prayers. 2. of or pertaining to the spirit or soul, as Prayers are a custom going back to the time of distinguished from the physical nature: a AA’s formation as part of the Oxford Group. To say the words of the Prayer is not praying, any spiritual approach to life. more than saying the Pledge of Allegiance was 3. closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, pledging to the fag or the country. As a child, I etc.: the professor's spiritual heir in was required to say the Pledge of Allegiance linguistics. because that was the way my school day started. 4. of or pertaining to spirits or to spiritualists; Tere are also many people for whom the supernatural or spiritualistic. Prayer and the Pledge are genuinely who they are 5. characterized by or suggesting predominance or what they believe. of the spirit; ethereal or delicately refned: For those of us who have long worshipped at She is more of a spiritual type than her the altar of the Human Brain, intellectual pride rowdy brother. can be sufficient to keep us drunk. We have seen 6. of or pertaining to the spirit as the seat of non-believers stay sober based on their personal the moral or religious nature. knowledge that they are not the greatest power of 7. of or pertaining to sacred things or matters; the Universe, particularly when they had spent so religious; devotional; sacred. much of their lives acting as if they were. 8. of or belonging to the church; ecclesiastical: Saying the Prayer is not intellectual hypocrisy, lords spiritual and temporal. it is the concession that staying sober is more important than intellectual pride; that fnding the 9. of or relating to the mind or intellect. new life is more important than “being right.” –noun

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10. a spiritual or religious song: authentic folk Religious people have a way that works for spirituals. them, regardless of our judgment of their beliefs. 11. spirituals, affairs of the church. For them, “God did it.” is a perfectly acceptable 12. a spiritual thing or matter. answer. For our purpose, many meanings of the word Perhaps we can end the intellectual war by can apply, but it is the frst defnition that we feel simply admitting “it happened” and remain open best serves the understanding of “spirit” as to learning, experiencing, and possibly, presented through the Program. understanding more as time goes on. “1. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; Tere is a limit to understanding as it affects the real world. If you fall off a high building, incorporeal.” understanding gravity does not change the rate at A feature of AA Recovery that has proved to which you fall. be a serious obstacle for intellectuals in the Program has been the necessary concession that Many things simply are. Tey exist and can there are things in our life that are not subject to have effects on our lives, emotions, and our place discussion under the laws of physics and our in the world, without supplying an answer for our understanding of the material world. ever-questioning brain. We fnd a level of coincidence far beyond Intellectual alcoholics love to judge things as statistical norms, which guide us to the next “good” or “bad,” but in Recovery we are correction phase of our life and Recovery that bombarded with realities that defy our judgment – becomes increasingly difficult to accept as random so we are faced with a dilemma. chance. Do we accept a reality we cannot understand, We fnd that when we do the Program the which gives us health, joy, and belonging, or do way the Program says to do it, we fnd periods of we insist on rejecting the reality of Recovery to unexplained comfort, serenity, and sometimes the small part we can classify, thus remaining happiness. Areas that used to be a problem, which isolated, risking Recovery in favor of an imagined left us feeling lost or hopeless, are slowly made superiority? clear and we can move forward, even when we do When you stand in the room and say the not fully understand the reason for the change. words to the Prayer, or simply stand with the Problems that once blocked us are solved, set other people in the group as they say the Prayer, aside or accepted. you are really in a room of AA, really with people Over time, we realize our ability to understand who have shared the pain of your experience and our own reality is limited. Te human brain who are willing to share their Recovery with you. cannot adequately classify or reduce reality to Why fght? understandable terms. “First, Alcoholics Anonymous does not demand that you believe anything. All of its Twelve Steps are but suggestions. Second, to get sober and to stay sober, you don't have to swallow all of Step Two right now. Looking back, I fnd that I took it piecemeal myself. Tird, all you really need is a truly open mind. Just resign from the debating society and quit bothering yourself with such deep questions as whether it was the hen or the egg that came frst. Again I say, all you need is the open mind.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 26

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UNIVERSITY OF ORLEANS

The Peace Prayer of St. Francis by Dr. Christian Renoux Associate Professor, University of Orleans, France Te preceding translations were drawn from over 20 sources of the Aramaic Prayer found through internet searches, some of them of more academic repute than others. By reading several diﬀerent versions of a translation, you can get an idea of the real meaning within the original document and choose the version most resonant with your understanding.

Original Text of the Peace Prayer

Belle prière à faire pendant la Messe Seigneur, faites de moi un instrument de votre paix. Là où il y a de la haine, que je mette l'amour. Là où il y a l'offense, que je mette le pardon. Là où il y a la discorde, que je mette l'union. Là où il y a l'erreur, que je mette la vérité. Là où il y a le doute, que je mette la foi. Là où il y a le désespoir, que je mette l'espérance. Là où il y a les ténèbres, que je mette votre lumière. Là où il y a la tristesse, que je mette la joie. Ô Maître, que je ne cherche pas tant à être consolé qu'à consoler, à être compris qu'à comprendre, à être aimé qu'à aimer, car c'est en donnant qu'on reçoit, c'est en s'oubliant qu'on trouve, c'est en pardonnant qu'on est pardonné, c'est en mourant qu'on ressuscite à l'éternelle vie.

Source: La Clochette, n° 12, déc. 1912, p. 285.

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THE ENGLISH VERSION

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek To be consoled as to console; To be understood, as to understand; To be loved, as to love; For it is in giving that we receive, It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.

Origin of This Prayer

Te frst appearance of the Peace Prayer newspaper]. Around 1920, the Prayer was printed occurred in France in 1912 in a small spiritual by a French Franciscan priest on the back of an magazine called La Clochette (Te Little Bell). It image of St. Francis with the title 'Prière pour la was published in Paris by a Catholic association paix' (Prayer for Peace) but without being known as La Ligue de la Sainte-Messe (Te Holy attributed to the Saint. Between the two world Mass League), founded in 1901 by a French wars, the Prayer circulated in Europe and was priest, Father Esther Bouquerel (1855-1923). Te translated into English. It was attributed for the Prayer bore the title of 'Belle prière à faire frst time to Saint Francis in 1927 by a French pendant la messe' (A Beautiful Prayer to Say Protestant Movement, Les Chevaliers du Prince During the Mass), and was published de la Paix (Te Knights of the Prince of Peace), anonymously. Te author could possibly have founded by Étienne Bach (1892-1986). been Father Bouquerel himself, but the identity of Te frst translation in English that we know the author remains a mystery. of appeared in 1936 in Living Courageously, a Te Prayer was sent in French to Pope book by Kirby Page (1890-1957), a Disciple of Benedict XV in 1915 by the French Marquis Christ minister, pacifst, social evangelist, writer, Stanislas de La Rochethulon. Tis was soon and editor of Te World Tomorrow (New York followed by its 1916 appearance, in Italian, in City). Page clearly attributed the text to St. L'Osservatore Romano [the Vatican's daily Francis of Assisi. During World War II and

– 55 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition immediately after, this Prayer for peace began Éditions franciscaines, 9, rue Marie-Rose circulating widely as the Prayer of St. Francis, F-75014 Paris. especially through Francis Cardinal Spellman's books, and over the years has gained a worldwide Note: Dr. Christian Renoux, is continuing his research on popularity with people of all faiths. the propagation of this Prayer, and is looking for new For more information, see the book by Dr. information about its publication in English between 1925 Christian Renoux, La prière pour la paix attribuée and 1945, and in all other languages between 1912 and today. Our thanks to Dr. Renoux for his permission to à saint François: une énigme à résoudre, Paris, publish the Original Text of this very popular Prayer and Editions franciscaines, 2001, 210 p.: 12.81 euros + the history of its origin. shipping (ISBN: 2-85020-096-4). – Order From:

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

The Lord’s Prayer

AN INTERPRETATION FROM THE ARAMAIC TRANSLATION KEY In Parentheses – (King James Standard) Italic Bold – Aramaic • Bulleted – Translation(s) directly from Aramaic (Our Father) Ahwûn • My Source/Creator • O cosmic Birther, from whom the breath of life comes • Radiance that Saturates the universe (Who art in Heaven) Although we know the Prayer was written in D’bwaschmâja Greek (a trader’s dialect called “Kohlne”), the • Tat flls/saturates the universe, above and words were frst spoken in the era’s native below language of Aramaic. • Tat who flls all realms of sound, light, and Aramaic has its own structure, grammar, and vibration cultural references; there are no words for colors, • Tat who is all of substance and vibration but comparisons to things of that color. Tere is no word for daily; the two syllable word for (Hallowed be Ty Name) God-the-Father is a source of intense debate as to Nethkâdasch schmachv the complexity of the meaning. Over twenty • Your name is already sacred translations can be found on the web. • May Your Light / Truth be experienced in In Aramaic, ideas can merge or interact with my utmost holiest the words before or after to deepen the meaning. • allow me to see / know / believe Tis also means you can argue diﬀerent interpretations according to the meaning of the (Ty Kingdom Come) word you are using. Têtê malkuthach Tis author is not a Christian. When asked • Your Heavenly Domain approaches why I say the Lord’s Prayer at the end of the • Your Justice approaches meeting, it is because of what the Prayer says! • Your Will is already being done in Heaven

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(Ty Will be done on Earth as it is In (For Tine is the kingdom and the power) Heaven) Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d’bwaschmâja af wateschbuchta b’arha • From You comes the all-working will, the • Let your Will be true on earth (that is vital strength to act material and dense) just as it is in the • You are the source of the song that is life universe (all that vibrates) • Your Will is already being done within the (and the Glory Forever and Ever) Earth as it is already being done in the L’ahlâm almîn heavens • Sealed in trust, faith and truth (Give us this day Our Daily Bread5) • I confrm with my entire being Hawvlân lachma. d’sûnkanân yaomâna • As you are truly the only God and deserving of all my worship • Give us wisdom (understanding, assistance) according to our need (Amen) • Sustain/Nourish me Amêin Te word Amen (Tiberian Hebrew “Amein” (And forgive us our debts as we forgive our pronounced ah-MAIN, Arabic “Amin” debtors) pronounced AH-men) translates as “So may it be” Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikâna daf or “Truly” and is a declaration of affirmation chnân schwoken l’chaijabên found in the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, • Forgive me and my wrongs to the extent I am and the Qur’an. It also has come to mean “As it able to give forgiveness to others. is,” “Verily,” “I agree,” “Let it be,” or “Well said.” (And Lead us Not into Temptation) It was used by the Jewish congregation to Wela tachlân l’nesjuna affirm the words said by the leader of the worship. It was later adopted by the Christians from the • Let us not be lost in superfcial things Jews as the concluding formula for a Prayer. In (materialism, common temptations) Islam it is the standard ending of recitation of • Free me from desire or free me from sutras (chapters or divisions). lies/illusion Te preceding translations were drawn from • Please do not put me to the test over 20 sources of the Aramaic Prayer found • Detach the fetters of faults that bind us, just through internet searches, some of them of more as we let go the guilt we hold of others academic repute than others. By reading several • Allow me the same forgiveness to others as different versions of a translation, you can get an you are already showing to me idea of the real meaning within the original (But deliver us from Evil) document and choose the version most resonant Ela patzân min bischa with your understanding. • But let us be freed from that which keeps us off from our true purpose • Be my direction / purpose

5 There is no reference of time in Aramaic, so daily is not a concept - it is always “today.” – 58 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

A well known picture of Bill Wilson carrying the message.

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POPULAR LORE IN MEETINGS

Three & Seven: The Full Prayer?

Tere is no “Amen” at the end of the Prayer in (7) My Creator, I am now willing that the Tird Step. Te Prayer in the Seventh Step you should have all of me, good and bad. picks up exactly where the frst Prayer leaves off. I pray that you now remove from me Between the “two Prayers” we do our Fourth every single defect of character which and Fifth steps in order to break the cycle of stands in the way of my usefulness to you secrecy and self-hate that has run our lives to the and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I point where we have placed an appropriate focus go out from here, to do your bidding. on ourselves and the personal defects we must Amen surrender in order to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. But over the years people have raised questions. As always, the Prayers are suggested and it is often more effective to re-word the Prayer into Were they intended to be a single Prayer? your own words, but if all you can do is say the Probably not. Te f rst half (the part from the words on paper, try to mean them with your Tird Step Prayer) is written in Middle English, heart. while the last half (from the Seventh Step Prayer) is written in Modern English. Te difference is Prayer of Steps 3 and 7 immediately noticable. (3) God, I offer myself to Tee - to build Again, the wording of both Prayers are a with me and do with me as Tou wilt. matter of personal choice and expression. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I If you have a problem, consider the intent of may better do Ty will. Take away my the Prayer(s) and say them in the way that will difficulties, that victory over them may have meaning to you. bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love and Ty Way of Life. May I do Ty will always!

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Believer, Seeker, Agnostic, Atheist, Anti-Theist Who’s Who and What’s the Difference Language evolves. Over time, a word will gain Our growth is dependent on a belief in “a a meaning in popular use long before it is adopted power greater than ourselves.” Tis belief evolved by academics. in 12-Step groups beyond the initial religious Several words in common use around AA limitations of the Protestant and primarily male create a good deal of confusion. Tis article Christian group where it began. When the focus defnes the four most common words related to was changed from the Christian God to “a Higher individual spiritual outlooks and proposes a new Power,” it became possible for newcomers to word to oﬀer some clarity to the discussion. address their immediate challenge – alcoholism, When someone who does not hold a belief drugs, behaviors, etc. – without having to jump attempts to explain the belief, the result is fltered through the hoop created by the belief of those through the speaker’s own belief system. A with longer Recovery that “You must start where I Believer defning an Agnostic is much the same as have arrived after much work.” It made it possible a banker explaining communism. Someone who for newcomers without a religious background to does not understand a position will re-defne it to partake of the blessings of Recovery without any suit his or her own purposes, and most often to additional requirements imposed by religious make the other side look foolish or wrong. dogma. Te purpose of this article is to introduce new Recovery is often not a return to a previous positions in the area of personal belief. Atheists state, but delivery to a completely new experience and Agnostics have too often been described by of being part of a greater reality, a larger Believers, and are sometimes perceived as arrogant community, and the embrace of a non-physical and condescending. reality we all share. Believers have been described by Anti-Teists, When I speak of “non-physical” reality, it is which could be called the arrogant describing the an attempt to frame all fve of these positions blind. All assert that their own positions are what within the context of emotion, compassion, and should be true for others. Tis mistake ignores the the expression of our highest natures. Love is fact that the very personal failures that brought us irrational, but love is experienced. into Recovery, and most of our other failures as Te compassion and impulse of an individual well, have been the result of our brain and its to charge into a burning building to save a judgments. We are tempted to re-defne others stranger at the risk of his or her own survival, is within our own terms and then respond to what is irrational. To some extent, the willingness to actually our own internal creation - instead of sacrifce for our own children actually works simply dealing with the other person where he or against personal beneft and sometimes our very she is. survival.

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But all of these are real, despite the lack of Such beliefs may not be part of a specifc or rational motive. Te “Higher Power” is open to recognized religion, faith, holy text, or doctrine. It personal interpretation. Believers tend to can be a personal mix of beliefs that are expanded pre-determine that it must mean a deity or or reduced as the Seeker sees ft. separate intelligence and defne all other views Many Seekers continue to search for new from that viewpoint. Agnostics tend to ideas after they appear to have settled on a given pre-determine that any teachings or discussion set of beliefs, and some even cycle continuously can only arrive at the point where the mystery from one belief system to another. outweighs the beliefs of the teaching. Te Atheist maintains that it can all be accepted without a AGNOSTIC defned intelligence above the human level and Te word ‘agnostic’ creates confusion because that any human attempt to describe that reality it is usually defned by someone other than the must fail to provide a complete comprehension. Agnostic himself. Te defnition that commonly Te most strident Anti-theist would be arises in such cases comes from “gnosis” hard-pressed to argue that they are greater than a (NOS-iss) which means “knowledge.” hurricane or a wild fre, but hold that all actions In the Greek language, the prefx a- before a and processes must be subject to rational analysis. word adds the meaning “without.” “Agnostic” Te seeker keeps looking for the answers and may (AG-noss-tick) thus means “without knowledge.” or may not arrive at one of the other positions. Most Agnostics will tell you that they believe Each is ultimately doomed to frustration when the reality of a “God”, of whatever defnition, is they have not made someone else conform to their beyond the intellectual ability of the human mind own position within the continuum of faith. to comprehend. However, sayings like “any God small enough for me to understand is not big BELIEVER enough to do the job” or “I cannot hold the ocean Tis word is commonly understood to mean of God in my teacup of a brain” are used to anyone who subscribes to a set of beliefs. Tis can explain their thoughts. It does not matter how involve any of the world’s religions or a other people defne God, it will be God as you newly-devised faith. Te key is the commitment understand God. of the individual to a defned belief system and its attendant rituals, doctrines, and practices. Agnostics function based on ethics, codes, behaviors, practices, and customs that do not At the core of the Believer is a conviction in a involve a deity while also not necessarily ruling defned deity or God (by whatever name) and the out the existence of one. traditions, scripture, and practices of a specifc religion. ATHEIST People involved in a formal religious life – Te word “atheist” is derived from the Greek Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc. – are word “theos,” meaning “deity” or “God,” and classifed as Believers. serving as the foundation of words like “theology” (the study of religion). “Atheist” therefore means SEEKER “without a deity” or “without God.” A Seeker is someone who has not yet settled Technically, an Atheist believes there is no on a specifc set of beliefs, but who does have faith deity to be worshiped. Most scientists or people that there is a belief appropriate for them. Seekers who believe in science’s explanations would tend to try a variety of existing beliefs and conduct qualify as atheistic, although many hold sets of research to locate a system in which they can beliefs (are Believers) without seeing conficts believe. between religious doctrine and scientifc theory.

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Te Buddhist religion can be considered both rational fact that there are forces greater than agnostic and atheistic; it is not a religion in the himself or herself. Tey do not walk out during Believer’s sense discussed earlier. It is more an the hurricane to tell it to stop; they do not run ‘approach’ or philosophy to a spiritual life. You under the falling tree to prove they are more can fnd devout members of several formal powerful. Rational thought can place them in religions who also maintain various Buddhist their proper place in natural existence, even practices, such as Buddhist and Christian, without acknowledging any sort of supernatural Buddhist and Shinto, Buddhist and Confucian. “intelligence.” People can subscribe to a set of practices, morals, OUR FALSE GOD and beliefs - with or without a supreme deity - Te real purpose of this essay is to open up the according to their personal practice. concept of Willing Submission – to remove our More confusion can be created because brain as the object of worship. Buddhism is very fexible and does not disbelieve People take thoughts emerging from their other faiths - – Buddhism has retained local belief own brains as divine revelation, regardless of the systems (demons, Goddesses, etc.) while adapting amount of evidence of the failure of that brain to to new cultures which causes outside observers to come up with a simple plan for successful daily think that Buddhists in Europe or North America living. hold the same belief in these deities held by Buddhists in Nepal or Southeast Asia. People express their belief in the brain with daily language and attitudes related to their own Tis is not necessarily the case. or someone else’s intelligence. “He’s so smart....;” ANTI-THEIST “She’s a genius...;” or “Tey’re dumber than a bag Tis is not a recognized word and is being of hammers...;” are some examples. All are said proposed to defne an observable set of beliefs. with a level of emotional attachment to the value With the Greek base “theos” and the prefx of a “good brain” or the defcit of a “small brain.” “anti-” meaning “against” or “in opposition to,” Tis use of language reveals a new idea in our this new word is intended to mean a belief that new idea of a ‘Higher Power’ - the magnifcent not only maintains there is no deity or God, but Human Mind. actively opposes or works against the belief in Many of those possessing the greatest brains such a deity by others. have been unable to live successfully, whether they Anti-theism is sometimes referred to as turned to the problem of alcohol, addictive “Militant Atheism” in the press and has become substances, or behavior. Many intelligent people the most publicly known face of Atheists, that enter Recovery will ‘think’ their way back into particularly the branch known as the “New the saloons and behaviors that defeated them. Atheists.” Anti-theists often adopt the same And fail. intolerant attitudes as militant Believers, seeking to change the personal beliefs of others to Many newcomers less intellectually inclined, conform to what they believe. or “stupid” people, have simply done what the steps and the Big Book say, end their relationship Anti-theist, as a word, is proposed to separate with their addiction, and begin to live functional, the personal non-deity belief system from the reasonably happy lives. more strident approach of controlling the personal beliefs of others. Which confuses the over-intelligent. Even the most virulent Anti-theist can You may have heard an old AA saying: proceed in Recovery by simply admitting to the Tere is no one too stupid to ‘get’ the AA program, but there are a lot of people way too smart.

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WILLING SUBMISSION Anti-theist may admit they live under the “Laws Te concept of Willing Submission is of Nature” or the “Laws of Physics” and it will be common to all of the major faiths. You submit to sufficient to move them forward in Recovery – or the Deity, the doctrine, the teachings, the morals, they may have to admit that the idea of ‘Ego or other defnition of how a person should live in defation’ works where great thoughts had failed. their daily life. Te word “Islam” translates as “the Determine the defnition of your own Surrender.” spirituality, your relationship to the non-physical Buddhism requires a surrender of the Ego to realities of love, emotion, and compassion. Follow end suffering. the dictates of the moral code to which you Christianity teaches Willing Submission and subscribe, whether you feel they are divinely obedience to the manifestations of authority commanded or rationally extracted. inherent to that particular belief system – the Take the time to express your truth – your fear church, Bible, pastor, teacher, husband, etc. or appreciation or desire for direction – and it will Willing Submission creates the possibility of not matter if you call it “Prayer” or “Deep living without giving in to lusts, cravings, desires, Tought.” Sit quietly and experience calm and it delusions and distortions. No one performs does not matter if you call it “Meditation” or perfect submission, but the effort to attain that “Contemplation.” state provides a foundation for better, more It need matter only to you, and you can allow responsible behavior. Daily effort is required to others to wrestle with the question of where they guard against the subtle rise of the once ft in the continium of spiritual reality. Each must conquered Ego accept that their own mighty brain is not the A Believer or Agnostic may follow the object of worship, but that the reality of the world required submission to the code of behaviors as an expression of God’s Creation or Natural dictated by their faith, seeing them as Divine Law Forces is greater than their limited brain will ever or requirements of the faith. An Atheist or fully comprehend.

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Atheism, Moral Psychology, and the Deus Non Vocatus in Early Alcoholics Anonymous A Non-Theistic / Atheistic Way of Working The Twelve Steps: William E. Swegan6 by Glenn F. Chesnut © 2014 by the Author, All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

William E. Swegan (Sgt. Bill), in Te velocity to make it come down at the right place Psychology of Alcoholism, Chapter 18, “Recovery and the right level, and this required learning to through the Twelve Steps,” explains how some work with the Law of Gravity instead of thinking early AA’s (like himself in the 1940s and 50s) I could just ignore that rule of nature. We are successfully worked the steps from the standpoint surrounded by powers and forces greater than of a truly dedicated ethical humanism. ourselves at all times.” Second Step. “Came to believe that a Te power we are searching for here cannot be Power greater than ourselves could touched or felt directly, but it is a Healing Power restore us to sanity.” which is capable of restoring our sanity, which we can see at work in the lives of those who have Bill Swegan’s Higher Power here is the laws already been working the twelve step program. It of nature, the healing forces within nature which is the power of truth and honesty itself, but it is can return our minds to sanity and reason, and the also the power of compassion and understanding. very rationalistic idea of the power of truth and honesty which gives us the power of If this step is carried out properly, those who understanding other people with more work it frst begin to incorporate within their compassion for their diﬀering points of view. internal makeup the positive feeling that they are not alone any more. Fear then begins to subside. “I cannot fght universal laws and principles and succeed. Te basis of these principles is Third Step. “Made a decision to turn our all-powerful, and everything in the universe is will and our lives over to the care of God subject to them. Some who come into the twelve as we understood Him.” step program object that if something cannot be “We must notice the phrase ‘as we touched or felt, it cannot exist. Te law of gravity understood Him,’ which means that if also cannot be touched or felt. But no human traditional religious language makes no being can throw a baseball up into the air so hard sense to me, I am free to think of this that it will foat up there in the air and never come Healing Power of truth, honesty, spinning back down. As a baseball player, I had to compassion, and personal transformation learn how to throw a baseball with the right in ways that do make sense to me. Even

now, well over fifty years after I first got done by feeing becomes more acute, the closer sober, I do not feel comfortable with the ties are in the family.” heavily religious language, because I still Sixth Step. “Were entirely ready to have do not understand it (even though I gladly God remove all these defects of allow those in the program who do character.” understand it to talk about their Higher Power in that way).” On the surface, Bill Swegan sounds more religious here than in his discussion of any of the You will notice that when I frst came into the other steps, but we need to remember that when A.A. program, my own spirituality centered he speaks of “coming to terms with the power of around the spirit of helping and caring for others God, as we understand Him,” he means the laws and saving human lives, which I used to replace of nature, the healing forces of nature, and the my old spirit of egocentrism, anger, and very rationalistic idea of the power of truth and selfshness. Tat simple decision (another key honesty to restore our minds to sanity and reason. word which appears in this step) allowed me to get sober and stay sober, and begin living Seventh Step. “Humbly asked Him to harmoniously with the universal principles of remove our shortcomings.” nature.” In Bill Swegan’s discussion here, he does not Fifth Step. “Admitted to God, to talk about asking God for anything. ourselves , and to another human being What he does do is recommend that we the exact nature of our wrongs.” practice Humility, which he describes in rationalistic terms as “the willingness to learn.” In his discussion of this step, Bill Swegan completely omits any reference to God, and it is Eleventh Step. “Sought through Prayer also not described by him as a “confession” in the and Meditation to improve our conscious more religious sense of that word. Instead, his contact with God as we understood Him, principal emphasis is upon restoring positive praying only for knowledge of His will for communications with other members of our us and the power to carry that out.” families, especially when we are feeling extremely Te key phrase here is Bill’s statement that “It guilty about the harm we did to them while we seems easier for alcoholics and addicts to fght were drinking. God than to fght their illness.” “It is an arduous task indeed to establish His central message here is that we need to positive communications with another person quit fussing about religion all the time, and start when I have in fact been feeling guilty about the working on fxing what is wrong with our harm I caused that other person. But defective alcoholic minds, which is what is causing us all communications cause continual frustrations, and our real troubles. are the source of continuing conficts, particularly Bill’s Higher Power here is not a personal in the immediate family. It is traumatic for God fgure, but a set of “spiritual concepts,” that alcoholics to talk over some of the events in which is (for him at any rate) the laws of nature, the they have been involved with their own families. principles of reason, and so on. We need to Some alcoholics seek a ‘geographical cure’ by meditate and think about the importance of walking out and feeing from their families, rather learning to trust that there are logical solutions to than attempting a positive resolution of the all of our truly important problems. diﬀerences which exist in their homes. Te hurt But even more important, “faith and trust in oneself is...essential to progress in the program.”

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As an alcoholic, I have all too often come to come to any hurt or harm, and Bill Swegan never believe that my life is doomed, that I will never attacks people who want to believe that. fnd happiness or any kind of a good life, and that But he does insist that I do not have to believe it is pointless to try to act logically and responsibly that in order to work the program successfully, get because “the world is against me” or “God is sober, and fnd true serenity and a good life. against me” -- when the REAL PROBLEM is When his mother died when he was a small that I have lost faith and trust in myself. All too child, when the bombs were dropping on him and many alcoholics feel “programmed for failure,” his best friends at Pearl Harbor on December 7, and plagued by continual self-sabotage, where 1941, and at a number of other times in his life, every time they come to the brink of success, they Bill Swegan did not believe that it was rational or are driven by some sick need to destroy realistic to believe in a supernatural power who everything. would guarantee that he and his loved ones would So one of the most important keys to never die or be injured. He had learned better Recovery for most alcoholics is to give them hope than that, frst hand. and restore their self-confdence. For Bill, And Bill’s private observation to me was that effective daily meditation needs to include things people who claim to believe in a personal God like self-affirmations and continual re-affirmations and talk about that all the time but who refuse to that it is all right for me to be successful and to do a real Fourth Step or do the other things he is feel good about myself. talking about here, never in fact end up feeling CONCLUSION good or achieving any real serenity. Tey seem to Nothing in all of this is incompatible with spend all of their time obsessed with fear and belief in a loving personal God who always takes resentment, and attacking other people and care of me and will never let me or my family attempting to start needless quarrels with everyone around them.

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Alternatives to “God”

Individual members may have issues with any “GOD” LIKE “MOTHER” of the religious origins and customs within Some people have suggested that other Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese may be because people’s idea of God is none of our business. Even their pride turns any such discussion into an if we use the same word, we may not mean exactly intellectual exercise, or an argument the the same thing. newcomer can manipulate. Tey may come from a Tey suggest we use the word “God” the same neurotic need to defy all authority and authority way we use the word “Mother.” Everyone has fgures, real or imagined. their own idea of who the word “Mother” Tese issues with religious origins or customs represents. For many it means the woman who may be because of previous experiences with gave birth, but for a growing number it means the individuals or groups who have used the woman who played the same role as the woman traditional meanings to gain their own means, do who gave birth would have traditionlly flled. It damage or simply use a religious guise for some may be a grandmother, or an aunt, or an adoptive personal abuse. mother, or simply someone who was in your life to serve the function. THE GROUP ITSELF Similarly, when we say “Mother” we have a Many newcomers who have such problems face that comes to mind and most other people may be relieved that such objections were easily have a diﬀerent face than the one we see. Brothers overcome by those who came before by turning and sisters may see the same face, but even they God into an acronym. It has meant “Good may see the face a little diﬀerently. Orderly Direction” for some. For others it was the “Group of Drunks” - the members in AA who If our own mother-fgure was a fawed human had stayed sober when the newcomer could not. being, we need to be able to see that Tis substitution is mentioned on Page 107 of the Mother-we-wanted or -needed whenever we hear book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. the word. Te “God as we understand God” needs to be just that personal.

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Meditation for Beginners Tere are only Two ways to fail. To not complete, or To not begin. -- Buddhist saying

Tis is not an oﬃcial or authorized document. It Find the style and method that works best for is a refection on the various ways to practice you. developing a quiet mind for spiritual growth and DO NOT TRY TO FIND GOD WHILE inner peace. MEDITATING. Meditation is not something you do. Tink of being young and going to a store. It may Meditation is the things you do not do. be the grocery store with your mother, an aunt, or Meditation is not magic. some other grown-up. It may have been to a Meditation is tuning into yourself like a radio department store, the fair, a school event, or a where the radio no longer picks up the desired festival. station. If you get separated from the adult, the worst Meditation is not scientifc. thing you can do is to go looking for them. Meditation is fnding an inner calm and spiritual You might miss each other if both of you are guidance. moving. Tere is no oﬃcial form of Meditation. Sit still and wait for them to fnd you. Some Meditation practices are complex and And they will fnd you. based on a single, approved form of spirituality. While you are waiting, you can be calm and Beginners’ Meditations must be simple. secure in the knowledge that they are searching for Religions and beliefs have a tradition of you and you are making yourself fndable. Meditation as part of its practice. You are lost – not God, no matter how you Catholics have the rosary. understand God. Protestants have group prayers and weekly If you become still and stay right here, right now, schedules. you give yourself the chance to be found. Monks and nuns of all faiths have beads and You make yourself "fndable." chants. And you can fnd peace, no matter what is going Hindus have the centering techniques of Yoga. on in your life. Moslems have the trance dancing dervishes. Native Americans have traditions of vision quests WAYS TO MEDITATE and spending time in quiet contemplation. Meditation requires a dedicated time spent with Atheists have their personal routines or areas of your chosen practice and repetition. A simple timer thought. can set limits on the time spent meditating – a Tey all work. watch alarm, a kitchen timer, etc.

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You can meditate alone or with others – both You can always discover a new answer that does ways have value. not make the old answer wrong, but enriches you by Meditation can be doing nothing or doing giving you more than one channel. something. Meditation can be made more meaningful by A SIMPLE BEGINNING Tere is no required decoration, device, furniture, contemplation of an image, or a verse, or a saying; or approved chant for Meditation – but someone or by sitting looking inward at a memory of such an you know may have a suggestion from their own idea. experience. Meditation can be an eﬀortless stepping away Find a spot to be comfortable, or at least more from stress and worry. comfortable than you are normally. At times, this Meditation can be found in a favorite incense, may not be completely comfortable, particularly in the fragrance a certain fower, or appreciating the the beginning. Someone may suggest a position, a aroma of your favorite cup of coﬀee. Or you may posture, or something else they use for their own surrender the idea of having a ‘favorite’ odor and Meditation. simply accept where you are and how it is right now. Determine a way to limit your beginning Meditation can be listening to a particular type of Meditation – a timer, a specifc length of music, or music, or singing. It can be people nearby talking or other indicator. Later, you may want to sit and what you might think of as silent. meditate for as long as you feel focused and relaxed. Meditation can be watching a favorite image, You may start in a quiet setting; a room, a spot scene, or the abstract movement in a stream of outdoors where you will not be disturbed, or even water, or people walking by, or clouds, or the sitting in a car. Later, you will be able to meditate motion in a lava lamp. anywhere, regardless of noise or distraction. Meditation can be performing a task; gardening, You may start with a familiar movement; knitting, dancing, drawing, working a potter’s walking, running, gardening, knitting, cooking, wheel, building a wall, cooking, running, or riding a singing, reading, or whatever gives you the most bicycle. quiet. You can meditate being still or moving. Some Don't expect anything. If you do expect people meditate best sitting in a natural setting with something, don't criticize yourself or try to make no agenda; others fnd a strict liturgy leads to mental yourself wrong for having the expectation. Simply and emotional liberation. Some meditate better by notice it and understand you are trying something walking a familiar path, or a path on which they new and may have no experience in how to 'not have never been. expect.' You aren't meditating to criticize yourself. None of these are required, but you can choose You can sit, or begin the motion as you feel most parts of any of them to improve your personal comfortable. In the beginning, it is usually Meditation. suggested that you not lay down to relax. You could Many people have been meditating for years and easily go to sleep and it is not the purpose of not even known it. Tey have something they do Meditation to bring on sleep. that provides repetition and makes them Start with one thing - something simple: comfortable exactly where they are, doing what they a smell, are doing. a sound, Tey often look forward to it, not understanding a motion, why it gives them such a sense of peace. a passage or verse for contemplation. You will discover the form that gives you the best calm. Begin with a few suggestions, and even when If moving, how long do you want to be doing you fnd your favorite way to meditate, try other your movement (not where you will go or the ways as well. product of your action)?

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THE MEDITATION their own beneft, but you have someone who wants Don’t worry about the past or project into the to talk to you. future. Was that always true? Concentrate on the moment you are in – right now, right here. SUCCESSFUL MEDITATION Notice your breathing. With successful Meditation you simplify your life Notice the sounds around you. to the exact moment where you are. Notice what you see, or close your eyes. You will fnd a new starting point in "here" and Notice the smells. "now." Notice the tastes. You will discover that every moment in your life Notice the feel of air brushing against your skin has had a "here" and "now," but you missed them or the cloth against your skin. because of thoughts of "there" and "then." But try to not "think" about any of them. Avoid You will fnd a new ability to recognize new thinking if they are good or bad, pleasant or answers, the ability to change directions with less annoying, useful or beautiful – just notice them, as stress, and the serenity that comes from without. they are. You will notice the lost opportunities of the past If you should accidentally start thinking, that is without criticism or judgment. Simply notice the not bad. Just notice that you are thinking about diﬀerence between a life lived in the "there" and something and try to get your attention back to the "then," and a new life lived in the "here" and "now." experience of being aware of this exact moment. If you remember the idea of being lost in a store, Maybe you will have someone come to you and you will discover how to meditate to make yourself want to talk while you are being quiet. Tat means "fndable" to your own Higher Power, or God as that as part of your "now" you have someone who you understand God. wants to talk to you. It may be about something for

"We will understand the word serenity, and we will know peace...” Page 84

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Steps & Traditions

Te Steps are shared by almost all of the existing 12-Step Recovery Fellowships. Tey help us to make the changes needed to deal with the pain that brings new people in, they help us repair the lives that have been damaged (not just our own), and build a new life that is based on healthy, meaningful, and fulflling principles. We have gathered tips to “work” the steps going back to the 1940s from a large body of authors, speakers, and Sponsors. As they sometimes say “Take what you need and leave the rest.” Te Traditions are not as widely accepted, but were written to show us where we had failed. We have failed newcomers, failed our fellowship and failed each other – particularly when alcoholics in Recovery decide they are going to “fx” it. We hope this short presentation on the Steps & Traditions will help new people, and those with long term sobriety, obtain a better understanding of their origins and purpose.

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

An Overview of the Steps

Alcoholics Anonymous is a program of action, the new way yet, but only be convinced that the and the Twelve Steps are the Program we have old way must stop, no matter what! followed to attain and maintain Sobriety. At this point most alcoholics begin a long Trough the Steps we are given the simple struggle to stop on their own – and to stay and direct action necessary to help us not pick up stopped. In the Big Book this is well described in a drink or any other mind-altering substance the chapter “More about Alcoholism:” outside of direct medical supervision. “Here are some of the methods we have tried: Trough the Steps we fnd the way to deal “Drinking beer only, limiting the number of with the guilt, shame, remorse, and fear that rises drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in when we have stopped medicating ourselves with the morning, drinking only at home, never alcohol (and often with other substances and having it in the house, never drinking during behaviors). business hours, drinking only at parties, switching Trough the Steps we learn to face and heal from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural our pasts to give us time in the present to enjoy wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing oﬀ our lives, to become contributing members of our forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking families and communities, and to live without the more physical exercise, reading inspirational Fear that formerly drove our lives. books, going to health farms and sanitariums, Trough these Steps we achieve a Spiritual accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we Awakening. could increase the list ad infnitum.” Page 31 It is not required to have the desire for Since that was written, we have added Sobriety to begin working the Steps. Tat can professional treatment centers, drugs to keep you come later. “sober,” therapies, workshops, books, classes, How could you want Sobriety? How can you tapes, CDs, websites, and support groups — want something that was not part of your life along with those who oppose one or more of these before? How many people do you party with who approaches. were sober? If you had a period of sobriety from Te program of Alcoholics Anonymous one of the many methods available, or even from a addresses these other methods in two of their previous exposure to the Twelve Steps, but went traditions: back to drinking, how much of your experience Tradition Nine: AA, as such, ought never be was a real connection to be Sober? organized; but we may create service boards or You do not have to want Sobriety to begin. committees directly responsible to those they serve. You only need to know Step Zero. At this point it Tradition Ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no is only necessary that you know your life cannot opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name continue on as it has. You do not need to know ought never be drawn into public controversy.

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Troughout AA literature it is acknowledged alcoholic has believed about his or her mastery of that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to life. achieve and maintain sobriety. For some people Many people fght admitting that they are in those other techniques have worked. the grip of a disease and mental compulsion that Some problem drinkers have simply set their they cannot consciously master. Despite all minds to sobriety, fought the battle alone, and evidence they have before them, the true alcoholic won. Others have gone back to church, stopped believes that with more strength, with more will, drinking, and lived new, sober, and successful with more determination, they will one day be lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, able to control their drinking and return to and lived healthy, successful lives. drinking without the problems and consequences. But people in AA know the other side of that “Many pursue this delusion to the gates of reality — we have seen people who have come, insanity or death!” achieved success to the point of accruing years of - Page 30 Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking Until they admit to their innermost selves that drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and if they take a single drink, they cannot guarantee death. how long they will drink, how much they will And death is not the worst thing that can drink, what they will do while drunk, or where happen when someone goes back to drinking. they will come to when they wake up. When Step Zero has been achieved, years of “Lack of power, that is our dilemma.” struggle can end in disaster. - Page 45 At that point, you have the choice to try another method, or (if you feel your problem and Te powerlessness of this dilemma makes Step your life is as we describe it) you may then choose One require a great deal of work, made more to join us and work the Steps. difficult by the fact that we do not have the authority to declare any man or woman to be an STEPS: STEP ZERO TO STEP ONE alcoholic. For most of us, Step Zero has been some form “We do not like to pronounce any individual as of screaming: “Tis must STOP!” alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, Tis book assumes you have already passed step over to the nearest barroom and try some through Step Zero and Step One. If you have not controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop yet explored the First Step, set this book aside abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take until you have completed Step One and are long for you to decide, if you are honest with convinced that you are an alcoholic. yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your Step Zero is that point where you understand condition.” that your Problem, as shown through excessive drinking and/or drugging, has got to stop. Tis is Page 31 not a Step from the Big Book, but everyone we Te First Step requires something simple and have encountered who has succeeded with fnding very difficult — the new man or woman must and maintaining Sobriety reports that they admit to themselves if the conditions of Step One reached this point. are true. Tis means you must become honest enough to admit that these conditions are already WHY WORK THE STEPS? true. Step One is difficult. It is a merciless admission that goes against everything an

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HAVE YOU REACHED STEP ZERO? Even if they fnd great success in health, love, Have you tried everything within your power and fnances. to get sober and to stay sober? Even if they have no idea of what a “spiritual Is your life, with or without alcohol, life” might be. unmanageable? Tis means the results of your best Even if you lived what you thought was a thoughts, plans, eﬀorts, and actions have been deeply “spiritual life” but returned to drinking and tried and the results have been completely the dark despair that comes with relapse. unmanageable by you. Even if you believe there is no hope. We do know that people who fnd AA (and not everyone knows about Alcoholics Te Twelve Steps do not require that you Anonymous) who stay and who actually do Te believe Recovery is even possible when you come Work of the Twelve steps, do recover. through the door. Even if they don’t believe it will work. You only need to know that you cannot continue the way you are going. Even if they don’t like it. You might come in because of a threat from a Even if they don’t understand it. spouse, or a judge, or a doctor, or an employer. Even if they are uncomfortable doing Te It doesn’t matter. Work. Show up. Come to see if what we have can Even if they are not religious. help you. Come to see if you are really an Even if they don’t fnd the spirituality others alcoholic — or not. would approve of. If you decide you are an alcoholic and have Even if they use the AA Group itself as their seen people with Recovery the way you would like Higher Power. to have it, do the Steps. Even if they suﬀer great reversals in health, Do Te Work, even if you don’t think it will love, and fnances. work for you. Te Twelve Steps work. Period.

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The Birth of the Twelve Steps

Te Twelve Steps were not a part of the early Bill had been a member of the Oxford Group process before the publication of the Big Book. for several years, and the OG had a system of Te Oxford Group used a “six step” system that Prayer, followed by Meditation, called ‘Quiet was not written down, but rephrased in various Time’. Bill retired to a small bed he had built ways through the years. under the stairs, a necessity because Bill was too In December, 1938, during one of the tall to stretch out on a regular sized bed. He meetings about the development of the book in prayed and meditated on the problem before him. Bill’s house on Clinton Street, Bill Wilson and After about an hour, he sat up, took the Hank Parkhurst were becoming full of themselves yellow pad and pencil from their regular position – talking about putting “some of that spirituality on the table next to his bed, and began to write. stuﬀ” into the book because it would help sales. He broke down the Oxford Group’s Six Steps At that point, Bill’s wife, Lois, who had been into smaller chunks and, when he was satisfed, he listening from the kitchen, erupted into the counted them and found he had broken those discussion. Lois stuck her fnger into Bill’s face original Steps into Twelve. Twelve appealed to and said, strongly, “If you keep talking like that, him as a Christian, and he shared them with the mister, you’re going to forget the God who got other members of his New York “Alcoholic you sober and you’re going to drink!” Squad”, as the members of the Oxford Group had Overwhelmed with what that would mean, come to call this little band of recovering Lois burst into tears and ran upstairs, leaving Bill alcoholics in their midst. and Hank in an awkward silence. Hank excused After that introduction, Hank’s secretary himself and went home, leaving Bill to digest Ruthie Hock typed up the Steps and sent a copy what had just happened. to the Akron group for discussion.

Te Steps, as they appear today, are only a few words diﬀerent from the original longhand list.

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The Original Six Steps

Te Twevle Steps were based on the Oxford Group’s Six Steps, a tool for reordering your life under the Princples of their Fellowship. While they were widely known and accepted, there was no written ‘source’ for the steps and several people who reported on the Oxford Group Steps refer to them in three diﬀerent ways in the published version of the Big Book, and in later talks rephrased the Six Steps diﬀerently every time they were raised. In 1953 Bill Wilson was asked to write down the Oxford Group Steps and turned over this list. If you have trouble reading Bill’s writing, it says:

For Ed - 1. Admitted Hopeless 2. Got Honest with self 3. Got Honest with another 4. Made Amends 5. Helped others without demand 6. Prayed to god as you understood Him. April 1953 Bill Wilson’s handwritten Six Steps Ever, Bill W. Original AA Steps.

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

Looking at the First Three Steps

Having covered the information in pages xxiii • Do I have a conception of that Power which through page 63 of the Big Book, Alcoholics makes sense to me? (page 46) Anonymous, we asked ourselves the following • When we became alcoholics, crushed by a questions when taking the frst three Steps. self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or Step One - We admitted we were evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is powerless over alcohol that our lives had nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What is my become unmanageable. choice to be? (page 53) • If, when I honestly want to, can I quit entirely Because so much of the Program revolves (because of the mental obsession), or if when around our Spiritual Life, we have created a whole drinking, do I have little control over the section devoted the the Question of Spirit. amount I take (because of the physical allergy)? Step Tree - Made a decision to turn our • If you’ve answered “no” to the frst part and “yes” to the second, you’re probably alcoholic. will and our lives over to the care of God If that be the case, you may be suffering from as we understood Him. an illness which only a spiritual experience will THIRD STEP DECISION conquer. (page 30) “Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of • Drunk or sober (suffering from “untreated life, God was going to be our Director. He is the alcoholism”), do I have trouble with personal Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, relationships? Can I control my emotional and we are His children.” Page 62 natures? Am I a prey to misery and depression? To affirm this decision, we say the Tird Step Can I make a living (a happy and contented Prayer: life)? Do I have a feeling of uselessness? Am I full of fear? Am I unhappy? Do I fnd that I “God, I offer myself to Tee—to build with me can’t seem to be of real help to other people? and to do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the (page 52) bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them • Do I fully concede to my innermost self that I may bear witness to those I would help of Ty am alcoholic? (page 44) Power, Ty Love, and Ty Way of life. May I do Step Two - Came to believe that a Ty will always!” Page 63 Power greater than ourselves could “Tird Step Prayer” from the Big Book is a restore us to sanity. suggestion. Some people with serious sobriety, serious clean time, may have presented it to you as • Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than a ritual. myself? (page 47) Te original form of the Seventh Step began, “Humbly, on our knees...” But the original

– 78 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition authors removed that phrase based on the group use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal conscience that resulted in the book we know. language, you can take the Prayer and restate it in Te Prayer they present is not a magic do for your own words so that you can say a heartfelt you because you said the magic words. Prayer of surrender and willingness in order to You must say the Prayer, but in your own proceed with your Recovery. words. In the Tird Step we decided to turn our “Te wording was, of course, quite optional so thoughts and actions over to the care of God. Te long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without way we carry out that decision is by taking the reservation. Tis was only a beginning, though if actions of Steps 4 through 9. We found in honestly and humbly made, an eﬀect, sometimes a Chapter 4, “We Agnostics,” that God dwells deep very great one, was felt at once.” Page 63 down within us. We’ve been blocked from God’s Now, with all of this said, we need to get to Power because of our own self-will – our character the meat of the Tird Step. As you may have defects and shortcomings (i.e. selfshness, heard “making a decision” means nothing until it dishonesty, resentment, fear, guilt, shame, is followed with the commitment to take actions. remorse, anger, etc.) Te f rst step of getting us “unblocked” is Step Four: Made a searching and If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the fearless moral Inventory of ourselves. words as written in the Big Book, if you do not

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KEN D., LOS ANGELES, CA • JOE A. RALEIGH, NC • CLIFF D., NYC FRED S., RALEIGH, NC AND OTHER ANONYMOUS AUTHORS

Simple Directions

A FOURTH STEP INVENTORY GUIDE

WARNING: Travel beyond this point without a Sponsor is not advised.

Step Four - Made a searching and obstacles to the massive house-cleaning and fearless moral Inventory of ourselves correction that began when you accepted the Tis guide is not the idea of one person. truth of the First Step. Scott L. oﬀered his excellent presentation of If your Sponsor says anything that conficts the Inventory Process in four talks available for with this guide go with what your Sponsor has to free from the xa-speakers.org website. say for your personal program. Te “One Way Group” Inventory Guide, Tere is only one way to do the Inventory wrong, and that is to not do one! - Simple Directions written by the late Ken D. of Los Angeles, in 1959 is oﬀered to help jog your memory or point Te AA Steps owe a great deal of their you to a thought that will improve your structure to the six steps of the original Oxford Inventory. Group, a Christian fellowship dedicated to the Te Primary Purpose Group of Plano, TX ideal fellowship of the First Century church. makes excellent helpings of experience, strength When asked about Te Oxford Group’s “Six and hope available through its recorded speakers Steps,” Bill W. wrote the following scrap to and website material. explain their process: “Circuit speakers” at conventions of Our Steps 4 through 9 are a clarifcation of Alcoholics Anonymous have added their impact the Oxford Group’s simple Step Four “Make to the Inventory process. Speakers like Chuck C., Amends.” Te expansion was intended to break Clancy I., Tom I., Chris and Myers R., Sandy B. down the process to allow an alcoholic to do each part of the process and do it as thoroughly as Additional material was made available on possible. the internet through several excellent sources of documents, podcasts, workshop materials, If you have made it to Step Tree, your speaker recordings and original essays which Sponsor and your meetings will confrm that the highlight more of our shared experience strength next Step is to be taken immediately. In the Big and hope. Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the direction begins in Chapter Five, at the bottom of page 63, A list of web sites is included in the back of this book and you are encouraged to explore “Next we launched out on a course of these web sites, but not at the expense of vigorous action, the frst step of which is a postponing your Fourth Step. personal house-cleaning, which many of us had never attempted.” Above all you will have the experience of your Sponsor to help you overcome your personal

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It is the intent of this guide to help make a fellowship all came from a time when “man will searching and moral Inventory as guided by the never fy” had been changed to include regularly book. scheduled fights to China from San Francisco. Steps One, Two and Tree did not create the Tey had seen horses and carriages give way to problem - they are the statements of the truth of automobiles. Tey had seen communications your disease and your situation. Tey are the move from newspapers and telegraphy to beginning of the leveling of pride and Ego, newsreels, movies, radio and telephones. which we are told will become a lifelong process. Te paragraph on Page 52 raises a list called In each of these steps you begin the diﬃcult “Te Bedevilments”. It says: process of telling the truth. “We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply You did not become an alcoholic because you to our human problems this same readiness to admitted to Step One. You simply admitted what change the point of view. We were having was already true. trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to You did not create a High Power through misery and depression, we couldn’t make a Step Two, you simply admitted to the truth that living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were you are not God or the Higher Power of your full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem personal understanding. to be of real help to other people - was not a basic In Step Tree you did not achieve anything solution of these bedevilments more important beyond taking that deep breath to begin the work than whether we should see newsreels of lunar of Recovery. fight? Of course it was.” “Te Work” is often referenced in AA At each of the statements it is best to pause, meetings, but sometimes people can go for years to ask if that part of the paragraph applies to you. without knowing what “Te Work” is. For • Were you having trouble with personal simplicity, let us take a moment to defne “Te relationships? Work” for your own progress. • Were you able to control your emotions? Te Big Book is clearly divided between the basic text of the front (Cover through Page 164, • Were you prey to misery and depression? or Page 181 to include Dr. Bob’s Nightmare, • Could you make a living? depending on who you are talking to) and the • Were you full of fear? stories in the back. • Were you unhappy? But on closer examination we fnd a second structure in the book. Te area from the Cover • Were you able to be of real help to other through Page 52 are a summary for Step One - people? defning alcoholism and the alcoholic, with an • Do you see that your solution of these introduction to the spiritual nature of our disease. bedevilments is more important than other On Page 52, although discussion of the meat pursuits? of Step Two has already begun, there is a Te Bedevilments on Page 52 are the end of paragraph that gives the summation of “our lives Step One and the opening to the work of Step had become unmanageable.” It is sometimes Two. called Te Bedevilments. On page 88 you are at the end of Step Te previous pages discuss the changes seen Eleven. in the 1930s as the result of technological Page 89, the chapter “Working With Others” progress. Te authors and early members of our is the beginning of Step Twelve, which continues

– 81 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition through the rest of the book, including the In the Sixth Step you will realize what parts stories in the back. Tose stories are people of you are either defective, or which are lacking, sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope and become willing to have those defects and with you as their Twelve Step call on you. shortcomings removed. Te 36 pages from page 52 to page 88 In the Seventh Step you will take the same contain Steps Two through Eleven. Tese pages, deep breath you took in Step Tree to turn these Steps are “Te Work.” everything over to the Higher Power in which you have come to believe. You will not tell that DO THE WORK AND YOU GET THE RESULT! Higher Power what is to be removed or to be You are the only one who can say if you are kept - you ask to have everything that stands in willing to move forward, but as with the rest of the way of your service to others removed. your work in the Twelve Steps, it is best to have an advisor, a “native guide” for the new territory In Step Eight you will return to this – a Sponsor. Inventory - most people add to the list begun in Step Four - to determine how you and your Understand that many of the men and disease have damaged the people, institutions and women with double-digit sobriety report that relationships around you. You will fnd that - if they have not seen anyone start a Fourth Step you are to stay sober - you are willing to do and then hesitate before beginning their amends whatever is required to make those damages heal, in Step Nine and stay sober! or at least make it better. Te process requires completion. Alcoholics And in Step Nine you will step back into the are great beginners, but not so good at fnishing world to heal the damage of your past and what they start. If you make the commitment, establish a new foundation for life without the then take the action and the results will follow. weight and, the guilt, the shame, the fear, and Finish this process! the selfshness of your past. You will never feel fnished. Te book tells us But none of this can begin without the this is “the beginning of a lifelong process,” but it thorough house-cleaning required on Pages 63 also tells us that this way of life is “a design for and 64 of the Big Book. living that really works.” Prepare yourself for this process. Discuss your It is suggested that you follow the direction fears with your Sponsor. Gather your materials of your Sponsor. If you are not using a Sponsor, and begin. it is important that you have someone who can guide you - do not attempt this process on your DR. BOB’S REVIEW own. You can never see your eye with that same If you visit the home of Dr. Bob in Akron, eye. You must use a mirror, and your Sponsor is one of the things you will fnd is a review of Steps your mirror. One, Two and Tree. It would be appropriate for Te pressure built by performing the you and your Sponsor to examine this document Inventory can only be reduced through the before you proceed to Step Four. If you cannot thorough examination and organization of what be content with the answers to this set of comes out of it. Your Sponsor will help you questions, you may need to go back to your organize and prioritize the results - what is earlier work before proceeding to Step Four. revelation, what is Ego, what is fear, what is STEP ONE (YES OR NO) pride and what is an asset. a Have you learned and have you fully Trough the Fifth Step you will come to see conceded to your innermost self that you are yourself, possibly for the frst time. an alcoholic?

– 82 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition b Do you have any reservations or lingering power, Ty love, and Ty way of life. May I do ideas that one day you will be immune to Ty will always!” or UNAFFECTED by drinking alcohol? Remember, the next paragraph on Page 63 STEP TWO (YES OR NO) says “Te wording, of course, is quite optional.” It a Do you believe, or are you even willing to is important that you mean what you pray. If you believe, that there is a power greater than can take the words as presented and come to you? mean them, the Prayer as written can work for you. STEP THREE (YES OR NO) a Are you convinced about Steps One and If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the Two? words as written, if you do not use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal language, you can b Are you convinced that any life run on take the Prayer and re-state it in your own words self-will can hardly be a success? so that you can say a heart-felt Prayer of c Are you convinced that your troubles are surrender and willingness to proceed with your basically of your own making, and that Recovery. they arise out of you and that you are an extreme example of self will run riot? AN IMPORTANT NOTE d Are you convinced that you must be rid of Te Big Book says at the end of Step Tree this selfshness? (emphasis added): e Are you convinced that your selfshness is “NEXT we launch out on a course of killing you? VIGOROUS action, the frst step of which is a f Are you convinced that there is often no personal house-cleaning, which many of us had way of entirely getting rid of self without a never attempted. Tough our decision (Step Higher Power’s aid? Tree) was a vital and crucial step (so it’s important), it could have LITTLE g Are you convinced that you must have a PERMANENT EFFECT (it doesn’t amount Higher Power’s help? to much) unless AT ONCE (immediately or h Are you convinced that you have to quit now) followed by a STRENUOUS EFFORT playing the role of a Higher Power - that it to face (where we face these things is in Steps 4 - never worked? 6), AND to be rid of (where we get rid of these i Are you convinced that a Higher Power is things is in Steps 7 - 9), the things in ourselves going to be your Director, Principal, which had been blocking us (we can’t turn our Father, and Employer? will and our lives over to the care of God until we get unblocked from doing so by immediately j Are you convinced that you have thought and quickly working Steps Four through Nine. well about taking this Step? Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get k Are you convinced that you can at last down to causes and conditions. Page 76 abandon yourself utterly to a Higher Power? PREPARATION Before he died, Dr. Bob told Bill “Keep it ARE YOU READY FOR THE PRAYER? Simple.” You can follow that in your Inventory. God I oﬀer myself to Tee - to build with me and Te frst thing you need to do is talk with do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the your Sponsor. Does your Sponsor agree that you bondage of self that I may better do Ty will. Take away my diﬃculties, that victory over them are ready to take this next step? Go through this may bear witness to those I would help of Ty booklet with your Sponsor to be sure that he, or she, agrees with the process it presents. Your

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Sponsor may have used a different system and if groups. You will fnd you can complete your anything is found in these pages that is in confict Inventory if your commitment is to fnish and is with your Sponsor - go with the direction your not dependant on some condition you set before Sponsor gives you. Your Sponsor knows you you begin. better than the authors of this booklet! When you sit down to write, be comfortable Get a notebook to dedicate to your Inventory. and take a few moments to be quiet. Pray and It can be a simple spiral bound notebook, a meditate as you feel is appropriate - you may be composition book or other empty volume. You able to fnd the quiet you need in a few moments, can usually fnd good ones in dollar stores, or you or you may need ten or twenty minutes of Prayer might have one left over from a previous “good and Meditation to begin. intention” attempt at the Steps which is still Don’t try to decide in advance what you blank and usable. should or should not write down - if you think of Keep two or three reliable pens or pencils it, write it down. with you. Tat way the excuses “my pen stopped If you are writing an Inventory after a relapse, working” or “my pencil broke” will not be valid. talk to your Sponsor. Most Sponsors tell a Have your own copy of the Big Book and, if returning member of AA not to depend on the your Sponsor agrees, a copy of Twelve Steps and previous Inventory (or inventories). Te issues Twelve Traditions. raised on those previous inventories were not Your Sponsor may suggest a certain number handled by someone who stayed sober. of sessions per week - 20-60 minutes committed Remember, we can write too little for our in advance. Your schedule may only allow one Inventory, but we can never write too much. session per week, a certain number of times per week, or commit to time spent on your Inventory NOTE: Your Inventory is not a long narrative to every day - make this decision with your Sponsor explain everything. Your Sponsor may (or may not) and then live up to your commitment to your approve of you writing such a narrative as part of your Recovery. Recovery, but that is not your Inventory. Te Try to fnd a place where you can concentrate Inventory is clearly shown in the Big Book and this to work. It should be quiet - free of distractions guide is to help you complete that process. but you will hear of people who worked on their You may not like, agree with, understand, or want to Inventory while the kids were making noise do some of this work. We do not care what you like, elsewhere in the house, or they worked on their agree with, understand or want to do ... we care what Inventory sitting in their car at a lake or wooded you do! What you like, agree with, understand or spot, or sitting in a coffee shop, or a public library want to do is what brought you here. or even when attending a special “writing” Tis is the work you must do to stay sober. As the meeting occasionally offered by individual AA shoe company ad says -- “Just do it!”

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Your Fourth Step Inventory Notebook

Three Benefits of the Inventory Over time those tiny changes have shifted the Nothing will come up that you have never story from what was true. Te Inventory gives you thought about before. Doing an Inventory will a chance to fnd the Truth that has slipped away give you the experience of seeing all of these from you. moments from your life, from your history of The Notebook dysfunction and disease, in one place. Te Get a simple notebook. At the time of this patterns of your behavior will become apparent.. writing one of the most used products for school You will see them in a new light and your worst is a “spiral bound notebook”. It is a pad of paper, aspects will become your greatest lessons. usually punched with three holes to be held in a Writing the Inventory in long hand, and not regular three-ring binder, but held together with a writing it on a computer or speaking it into a tape wound wire - the spiral binding. recorder, requires the rhythmic action of You can use loose leaf notebook paper, or a physically writing. And, if you are like most of us, bound “composition book,” but whatever you use you do not like your own handwriting. While it should be intended to use like a book, turning some part of your brain is complaining about how from one page to another. you make O’s or A’s or I’s or L’s, the truth can get out without your brain censoring your words. And fnally, writing the Inventory stops your story from changing. Whether you know it or not, every time your have told part of your story it has changed – just a little. You were a little more holy, they became more evil.

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PAGE ONE Open the notebook and on the frst page write your name, your contact info and whatever else your Sponsor feels you should put on that page. Sometimes that can include the date of sobriety, or a request that anyone fnding your notebook not read it - almost everyone doing an Inventory Go to Page 65 of your Big Book to see the chooses to keep their unfnished Inventory under example given (looks like the left side). Tis is a lock and key. variation on that sample.

COMMIT With your sponsor, commit to exactly how much minimum time you are willing to devote to the writing of this inventory. Tis should take into account work time, family commitments and health, but you must commit to taking the time to do the work. THE TWO PAGE SPREAD When you open the notebook from the frst Take that deep breath again, become calm and page, you have a two page spread in front of you. put your pencil to the paper... Use that to your advantage. On the right side, draw a line down the page, COLUMN ONE: WHO approximately in the middle. At the top of the left side page, on the left side of the red line draw down the page, write the You will do several sections of the Inventory, word ‘Name’. but under each section you will follow the same format. On each section you work down the Remember, work down the column, not column, not across. across. Te insruction for this column is: “write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line, write a name...” It does not matter how you feel about this person, institution or situation - write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line.

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If you have someone special that you have a You are going to do several lists. You will list lot to write about - write a name, skip a line, write your resentments. You will list your fears. You a name, skip a line, write a name. Tere is no will list your sexual misconduct. You will list ‘special’ entry. assets. And more. You will use this same Tat is not a suggestion - that is a direction. technique for every topic. You will see why we do this in the next stage. For this column, all you have to do is write a DO NOT decide what you do and do not name, skip a line and write a name. have to put on your Inventory. DO NOT decide Some names may appear on more than one “I’ve already dealt with this (and don’t have to do list. it)”. If it comes up, put it down. It doesn’t matter When you can look at the list for 15 or 20 if it was when you were four, or last Saturday - minutes and not come up with a new name, then put it down on paper. Tis paper. Right here, you are ready to do the next column. right now.

COLUMN TWO: WHY? You may want to tell what someone else On the left hand page, at the top of the page thought or wanted. Don’t do it. You do not know on the right side of the red line write “Why on the what someone else thought or wanted - even if list.” they told you, they might have been lying. You When you have your list of names, you will be don’t know. tempted to write a long narrative of how they Why they are on your list should be have wronged you. Your Sponsor may decide you considered and the shortest possible statement should write such a narrative - but that is not your will cut to the core of your reaction to them and Inventory. Tat is a long narrative of how the what they did, or what you may think they did. world has wronged you - and it will not keep you Look closely at the sample from Page 65 in sober! the Big Book. Te name with the longest reason For your Inventory you need to identify for being on the list uses only 19 words. We are exactly why each of these names have appeared on learning to discipline ourselves and this is an your list, and do so in a clear and simple manner. exercise in the indulgence of “explaining.” When Tink of it as a report - “just the facts.” you write more about why they are on your list,

– 87 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition you begin explaining why they are wrong and why you were right, or the other way around. No more than 19 words per name in the corresponding second column. Tat is not a suggestion, that is a rule. You write a maximum of 19 words per name. You might want to write that rule on the top of this column, so you don’t ‘forget’. Understand, we usually want to explain it all - and explain it in a way that makes us look righteous and makes them look as bad as possible. You also do not need to deal with what their motive may have been - you are the one here COLUMN THREE: WHAT IT EFFECTS trying to put your life in order. Tey are not. We cannot do anything about them. You are here for HERE IS YOUR CHANCE TO TELL WHAT THAT PERSON, IDEA, INSTITUTION OR your life, for your Recovery. We can only deal SITUATION THREATENED. with you. Was it your personal standing or position? What matters is your perception and what you Your pride? thought and did. Short and sweet. Your fnancial security? Keep it simple. Your self esteem? Te example from Page 65 has another feature Te way it caused other people to view you? we will use. Te one who has the most written Your sexual relationships? about why they are on the list gets just 19 words to explain why they were named. Your business relationships or friendships? If we are following the directions, you should Your legal position? be able to state, in 19 words or less, exactly why Your criminal activities? they are on your list. Do you have something that was aﬀected that When you write the reason for the name is NOT listed in the examples? being on our list, you are to tell us what COLUMN FOUR happened. Tis column is reporting - even the Column Four will take up the last column of phrase like “she’s a nut” might be allowed if that is your two-page spread. Leave this column blank why she is on your list, even if you aren’t qualifed until you get together with your Sponsor for your to make a determination of another person’s Fifth Step. sanity. Tis is what we often refer to as “Te exact Write no more than 19 words, no matter nature of the problem.” what. Do not explain, just say why they are on your list. Your Sponsor, or the person with whom you share your Inventory, can help you decide what to Don’t rush it, but don’t drag your feet. put down in that part of the page. Tis column will provide you with focus on where your behavior and attitudes need to change.

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You will also fnd the beginnings of your of their needs and work for them. Tis takes us out Eighth Step list in your exploration of your of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to Inventory and what it has revealed. yield would mean heartache.” A great deal of it may be repetitive. You may ADDITIONAL TOPICS fnd things like “Dishonesty,” “Manipulation,” You and your sponsor may decide there are “Lying,” “Fear,” or some other problem come up specifc areas you need to Inventory in detail, such over and over again. Do not be surprised – you are as stealing, criminal activity, secrets or other not creating brand new defects but expressing the topics. same defects over and over. Something New But this should be discussed with the person who hears your Fifth Step. If you have an area you need to Inventory, some area you are afraid will drive you out to get The Lists drunk or get high, you can use the Inventory We are told to Inventory our Resentments, process to detail exactly what is there, and do a which is how this section began. When you have new Fifth Step to understand it, then develop a completed the three columns for Resentment, way to change yourself, confront the defciencies turn to a fresh two page spread, draw your line within you that this Inventory reveals, and the see down the middle of the right hand page and do how you can work new Amends to discharge the your next areas. shame, damage or other negative effects of this Tere are two primary lists suggested. area. Being honest with this level of Inventory can FEARS also help you carry your message to the people We do not like to admit to fear unless we can who are newer than you and may need to turn to use that admission to manipulate someone else’s you to fnd how to handle the same problem with thoughts or feelings. With alcohol or drugs we their own Recovery. avoided feelings and fear was one of the biggest to avoid. The One Way Prompts Face your fear by listing, using the exact same Later in this chapter you will fnd a list of method, each fear or incident of fear. Name, skip suggestions from the One Way Group in Los a line, name. Why that name is on your list and Angeles from around 1960. After each list it ads what was affected. “others not listed”, so you can add more that may not have been recognized for inclusion. SEX You are expected to list your resentments, Te “Prompts” from the One Way Group may your fears, and your sexual conduct. You will also help you fll out your third column. Assets deal with people you have harmed (Step Eight). When you have fnished your Resentments, Use the same format - write a name, skip a line, Fears and Sex lists, write a name (or some indicator), even if you can’t Following the directions means following all think of the specifc name of the person involved. of the directions. For your Inventory this will On page 70 the Big Book says, include your assets. “To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the A business which takes no regular Inventory right ideal, for guidance in each questionable usually goes broke. Taking complete Inventory is a situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the fact-fnding and a fact-facing process. It is an right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw effort to discover the truth about the stock-in- ourselves the harder into helping others. We think trade. Page 64

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Te purpose of doing an Inventory of your you want or demand that people recognize your assets is not to give you a chance to reduce the actions and that credit was not assigned to impact of your fears, your resentments, your someone other than you. sexual conduct or the people you have harmed. In the same way people may use the “Seven Deadly Sins” as a guide to their defects, it may be appropriate to use the “Seven Heavenly Virtues” in relation to your assets. Tis is a simple list and may be outside your spiritual structure - it is intended as focus for your Inventory. All of the world’s faiths and codes of ethics have similar lists of goals and positive attributes we try to achieve. Chastity - Tis is not simply the maintaining of sexual virginity until marriage, but also your conduct in all areas of sex. Did you lie for sex, manipulate, cheat on your spouse or otherwise place your personal desire over your behavior. Temperance - Tis is not simply avoiding alcohol. Tis idea is the ability to be moderate in all areas - food, righteousness, pride, sex, possessions, etc. Were you temperate in any of the areas of your life? Charity - Did you care for others with your time, resources and aﬀections, or did you give to get? Was your generosity based on helping the other person or institution, or on what beneft you would receive in pride, goods, services, recognition or reputation? Assets Dilligence - Did you complete what you began? Did you have gifts? Tese would be abilities that Did you complete work or projects only so far as just seemed to come easily to you in the way of your return was concerned? Do you have a long talent, understanding or intuition. Did you share list of accomplishments or a trail of broken those gifts for the beneft of others or did you use promises - of beginnings without completion? them to manipulate events to your own ends? Patience - Could you wait for things to turn out If you were given the gift of leadership, did you or did you push, become frustrated, manipulate, use it to lead and beneft those who would follow, or demand? Was your patience complete or measured did you use it to grab as much as you could or get to the level of getting what you wanted? other people to do what you wanted them to do? Kindness - Were you kind? To others? To If you could comfort, did you withhold that strangers? To animals? To children - your own comfort until your target gave you what you wanted and others? Was your kindness followed with or provided something you could use to satisfy your gossip or back-biting? Was it done to feel or show own greed or desire before you would use your gift? your superiority? Was the focus of your kindness Did you have talents in areas that brought beneft on others or on yourself? or comfort to others? Music? Counseling? Cooking? Organizing? Did you use these talents for your own Humility - Were you able to go unrecognized and beneft or for the beneft of others? be satisifed that the right thing was done? Did

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Was your asset something that was a beneft to We take more pride in our ability to be more those around you or used as a weapon to control defective than others and judge everything about situations and people to feed your own desires? ourselves as defective. Use a fresh page in your notebook and write a list In the Ninth Step promises we are told: of assets, gifts or talents or abilities you feel you have “No matter how far down the scale we have gone, been given. What have you been given the talent to we will see how our experience can beneft others.” do. As you did with your names, work down the Judgement column. One of the most important lessons we learn is Beside each asset, write how you have used it. that our judgement of others, or ourselves, has been Te purpose of knowing your assets is to show damaged by our disease. What we consider our most where you have been given a gift, and where you wonderful feature may turn out to be damaging to have abused that gift in the course of your other people. We fnd that our worst history alcoholism. becomes our greatest asset in helping others. If you identify an asset that you have used At this point we not only need to work at our correctly - do not try to “fx” it! Be grateful and, willingness to have our defects removed and our when the time comes, be ready to turn that asset shortcomings corrected, but become willing to use over to your Higher Power to allow it to beneft our assets as they were intended – for the beneft of those you would help. others – or to let them go. It is the nature of alcoholics in the throes of the Accepting that we have assets, and that we have disease to injure and abuse other people and to not used those assets properly, is a fnal phase in lessen and abuse themselves in the constant struggle becoming willing to have the Higher Power we for more of everything. We demanded more money, found in Steps Two and Tree take over everything sex, power, prestige, possessions, or satisfaction but in our lives. no matter how great our acquisitions, we were never Our defects. Our shortcomings. Our assets. satisfed. Everything.

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THE ONE WAY GROUP - LOS ANGELES 1960

Inventory Prompts

Tese are prompts to help you think of topics during your Inventory. Tese are drawn from the One Way Group of Los Angeles, as recorded by Ken D., and applied through the Inventory Notebook sessions of Scott L., and several other Inventory guides available through the internet or discussed in the talks by speakers on http://www.xa-speakers.org.

PEOPLE PROMPTS

[ ] Father (Step) [ ] In-Laws [ ] Clergy [ ] Employees [ ] Girl Friends [ ] Mother (Step) [ ] Husbands [ ] Police [ ] Co-Workers [ ] Boy Friends [ ] Sisters (Step) [ ] Wives [ ] Lawyers [ ] Creditors [ ] Parole Officers [ ] Brothers (Step) [ ] Aunts [ ] Judges [ ] Teachers [ ] Probation Officers [ ] Grandmother [ ] Uncles [ ] Doctors [ ] Friends [ ] AA Friends [ ] Grandfather [ ] Cousins [ ] Employers [ ] Acquaintances \Plus others not listed

INSTITUTIONAL PROMPTS / MARRIAGE

[ ] Marriage [ ] Races [ ] Education System [ ] Philosophy [ ] Bible [ ] Law [ ] Correctional System [ ] Nationality Plus others not listed [ ] Church [ ] Authority [ ] Mental Health [ ] Religion [ ] Government System PRINCIPLES PROMPTS

[ ] Retribution [ ] Satan [ ] Life After Death [ ] Golden Rule [ ] Ten [ ] Laws [ ] Heaven [ ] Seven Deadly Sins Plus others not listed Commandments [ ] Rules [ ] Hell [ ] Social Responsibility [ ] Jesus Christ [ ] Death [ ] Adultery

FEARS PROMPTS

[ ] Dying [ ] Unemployment [ ] Homosexuals & [ ] Poverty [ ] Hurting Others [ ] Insanity [ ] Employment Lesbians [ ] Races [ ] Violence [ ] Rejection [ ] Parents [ ] Failure [ ] The Unknown [ ] Writing Inventory [ ] Loneliness [ ] Losing a Spouse [ ] Success [ ] Abandonment [ ] Being Alive [ ] Diseases [ ] Losing a Child [ ] Responsibility [ ] Intimacy [ ] Government [ ] Alcohol [ ] Animals [ ] Physical Pain [ ] Disapproval [ ] Gangs [ ] Drugs [ ] Insects [ ] Fear [ ] Rejection [ ] Gossip [ ] Relapse [ ] Police [ ] Drowning [ ] Confrontation [ ] Wealthy People [ ] Sex [ ] Jail [ ] Men [ ] Sobriety [ ] Guns [ ] Sin [ ] Doctors [ ] Women [ ] Hospitals [ ] Change [ ] Self-Expression [ ] Stealing [ ] Being Alone [ ] Responsibility [ ] Authority [ ] Creditors [ ] People [ ] Feelings Plus others not listed. [ ] Heights [ ] Being Found Out [ ] Crying [ ] Getting Old

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SEX PROMPTS

[ ] Abortion [ ] Masochism (causing [ ] Molesting [ ] Fetish [ ] Adultery mental or physical pain [ ] Pornography [ ] Transvestism [ ] Animal Sex to self) [ ] Prostitution [ ] Incest [ ] Rape (statutory or forced) [ ] Fraud Sex (false promises) Plus others not listed. [ ] Sadism (causing mental or [ ] Same Sex [ ] Masturbation physical pain to others) [ ] Any Deviation from [ ] Arson (re: desire) Normal [ ] Sexual Repression

THE SEX IDEAL Dear God, please help me to see what You want for me regarding relationships with others and my sex life. Te original “Inventory Guide” was handed out in a ‘vest pocket’ format. It was typeset using the old -technology of “hot type” and printed by hand on similar vintage “proofng press,” then folded, stapled and trimmed by hand. Te materials from the “Inventory Helper” comes from that original hand-out. The One Way Group Inventory Guide handout The Original One Way Group Handout

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

Step Five “Tis is the step that separates the men from boys” (or the girls from women). Step Five breaks the pattern of secrets and isolation that have kept us drunk and held down by our disease.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Page 63

Your Sponsor is one of the tools of the “When we decide who is to hear our story, we program and like any tool it will not help you if waste no time. We have a written Inventory and you do not use it appropriately. Your Sponsor will we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our give you some directions on how your Fifth Step partner what we are about to do and why we will be conducted - the place, time, duration and have to do it. We should realize that we are process. engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; Most Fifth Steps are done with the Sponsor they will be honored by our confdence.” and the person whose Fifth Step is being heard Page 75 separated from distractions. You Sponsor may want you to go to a special location (your home, Tere is no “perfect” Fourth Step - the World the Sponsor’s home, a peaceful outdoor location, Service Oﬃce is not reserving a special niche for etc.) to get this personal time - the goal is to your Inventory to show the world how an remove distractions so you can concentrate on the Inventory should be done. You do your Fourth work of breaking the lifetime habit of keeping the the very best you can do it and - most often - will secrets and hiding the truth from yourself and fnd that there is enough relief from the past to others. move forward with your Recovery. Tis is when you will use column four on your Tere is only one way to do it wrong - to not Inventory. It is commonly called “What is Your do it. Part?” Your Sponsor will probably ask questions to Before taking Step Five we are given some clarify some of the points you have written - it specifc directions to review our work so far. will be your opportunity to give more detail on the “If we have been thorough about our personal 19 words you were allowed for anything on your Inventory, we have written down a lot. We have list. listed and analyzed our resentments. We have You may be directed to write into the fourth begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible column of the Inventory to identify the exact destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, nature of the problem. What was your part in this patience and good will toward all men, even our entry on the Inventory? What does it tell you enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We about yourself, your personal defects or have listed the people we have hurt by our shortcomings? conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past A Sponsor will usually tell you something of if we can. ” Page 70 their own story to show how they have had to deal with items from their own Inventory. Your – 94 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Sponsor will also guide you away from focus on It is important that you not try to do a Fifth how others have harmed you, but how you have Step alone. You use an Inventory to focus on your participated in the process of stepping on their own problems - not the defects of the names on toes and causing them to retaliate. Sometimes a your lists. It is for you, your discovery of your own Sponsor will need to point out when you have defects and shortcomings, your own spiritual been taking something as a personal injury that journey and cleaning your side of the street. was simply a fact of life aﬀecting others at the You will most likely think of more to go on an same time. Inventory after you do your Fifth Step and it On page 46 of the Twelve and Twelve it says: doesn’t matter what you call the continuation of “Te Sponsor probably points out that the your Inventory. Te Tenth Step says “Continued newcomer has some assets which can be noted to take personal Inventory...” so you might want along with his liabilities. Tis tends to clear away to look at additions as part of your Tenth Step or morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he a new Fourth Step. begins to be more objective, the newcomer can You may fnd there is a particular area of your fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own life where you want to focus on a new Inventory - defects.” your marriage, secret crimes (such as stealing, You do not need to understand the process - hidden judgements, gossip, withholding care or this is not about building your intellectual money or connection with children or parents, strength, but getting down to the basic, honest etc.). Discuss these with your Sponsor to feelings that have been the foundation of your determine the best way to approach such new resentments, fears and relationships. house-cleanings. Let your Sponsor guide you and know that Te only thing that matters is doing the work there is nothing on your list that does not have a and putting pen to paper. Just do it. Your Fourth name - and a name means someone else has done Step is a real milestone in your commitment and it, felt it or had to deal with it. You are not alone. progress to your Recovery.

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Step Six

Te Big Book only gives one paragraph on Both of these problems need to be cleared, but Step Six and, while the Twelve Steps and Twelve frst you must know what is true about yourself, Traditions gives further instructions, this Step even if it means losing some of the old comfort of requires you to review the frst fve Steps to fnd your victim-hood, your righteousness, your belief out what your Inventory has revealed - or that you were right or that you had the ability to confrmed - about your own problems. defne the world or other people. “Returning home we fnd a place where we can be Te purpose is to see your own real problems - quiet for a hour, carefully reviewing what we the thing that either led you to drink or to fnd have done. We thank God from the bottom of our comfort in alcoholic numbness and oblivion. heart that we know Him better. Taking this book Hopefully in your Inventory you found a few down from our shelf we turn to the page which things of value - the Big Book tells us to contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the frst fve proposals we ask if we have omitted Inventory EVERYTHING, including our assets. anything, for we are building an arch through Assets are not there for us to take comfort that we which we shall walk a free man at last.” still have something worth keeping - assets are things we have the ability to do but which we may “Is our work solid so far?” not have used properly or something that we do “Are the stones properly in place?” well that will be of use in our new purpose: “Have we skimped on the cement put into the “Our real purpose is to fx ourselves to be of foundation? maximum service to God and the people about “Have we tried to make mortar without sand?” us.” Page 89 Pages 87-88 Te challenge of Step Six is to look at our own Te Big Book frequently uses terms “short- desire to hold onto a defect because of the beneft comings” and “defects.” One way to look at these we receive from it – and we have manipulated well problems is to defne them, even if Bill did not known human faws, from Seven Deadly Sins to write the defnitions in the Big Book, several our own special faws, to serve our desires and other people have provided defnitions over the selfsh goals. years. Are you willing to live a life, striving to be an For our purpose, let us think of a “short- honest adult, unlike what you have done before coming” as something you need to have but do you entered your Recovery? not have enough of (such as honesty, integrity, Are you willing to stop gossip? Tis means to tolerance, love, charity, forgiveness, etc.). stop repeating things you did not experience, A “defect” can be thought of as something you based on the hearsay of other people, or have, but is either wrong, damaged, or being used “improving” the story to make it clear to others to make it a weapon to cause damage to others. what you want it to say?

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Are you willing to stop lies? To stop Can you live without your “righteous “embellishing” your stories or withholding the indignation” when you are positive that the other truth to appear more virtuous, or to be loved, if side is wrong and that you may not win? Even at lust isn’t your primary focus? work? Even in politics? Even in questions of If you give up greed, are you afraid you will religion? lose motivation to make a living or not get things If you succeed in surrendering your pride, do you think you deserve? you think you will never feel satisfaction over true If you have been known for sloth, or accomplishments? procrastination, are you willing to do the work Step Six prepares you for the work of Step required, but which people do not expect you to Seven, which requires that you be willing to have perform? God take over everything in your life to heal your If your wrath is removed, how will you feel problems and make you the person you have the with situations when you feel you have been capacity to be. wronged? Are you willing to live by the same rules Te goal is to prepare you to be a whole, you expect of the people around you? healthy, emotionally sober, happy human being.

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Step Seven

Step Seven may not be what we expected when Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to we began. It is not coming up with a list of things do Your bidding. Amen.” we want God to fx and then putting in our service Even if you fnd other wording to be more order to have the changes made to our appropriate, are you in full agreement with the specifcations. terms of this Prayer? On page 76 we are given what many people call Are you willing to turn everything over to God or the Seventh Step Prayer: a Higher Power of your understanding, holding “When ready, we say something like this: nothing back? Are you sure you have not deceived yourself by “My Creator, I am now willing that You should withholding some detail of your past, your desires, have all of me, good and bad. I pray that your plans or your expectations of how your life and You now remove from me every single Recovery are supposed to unfold? defect of character which stands in the way Tis step is complete surrender. We were told: of my usefulness to You and my fellows. “Te results were nil until we let go absolutely.” Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen.” Page 58 But many people say that the Tird Step In the beginning we said we were willing to go to Prayer does not end with “amen” and that the any lengths for victory over alcoholism. Tese are Seventh Step Prayer does. Tis is because they are the lengths to which we must go. thought of as one enveloping Prayer. We try to clean house to the best of our ability, knowing that we will continue cleaning for as long Together they read: as we live. “God I offer myself to Thee - to build with me We strive to be honest in our dealings with those and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of around us, with ourselves, with our past and with the bondage of self that I may better do Thy our Higher Power. will. Take away my difficulties, that victory We work for progress, knowing we will never over them may bear witness to those I attain perfection. would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy Can you confrm to yourself that you have, to the way of life. May I do Thy will always! My best of your ability, done the work intended behind the Prayer? Creator, I am now willing that You should If you believe you have done the best you can do have all of me, good and bad. I pray that to this point, knowing you may improve later, you You now remove from me every single are ready to move into the work of Steps Eight and defect of character which stands in the way Nine. of my usefulness to You and my fellows.

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Step Seven With A Worksheet

One of our visitors asked us if we knew of a Make a grid similar to the one below and list Step Seven worksheet. Tere are, of course, a your defects of character in it. If an example we plethora of such things, most of them for sale have entered applies to you, let it remain. If not, somewhere. One of our members was curious replace it with one of yours that is not listed. about creating something more of a Step Seven Some of these may be familiar to you. think-sheet. And he did. And it's free. And here it is. WILLINGNESS FOR REMOVAL We have identifed seven possible levels of Step Seven: - Humbly asked Him to your willingness to have each character defect remove our shortcomings. removed. Tese are: WHAT SHORTCOMINGS? 1 - Already removed Te “exact nature of our wrongs” in Step Five is expressed in terms of “defects of character” in 2 - Absolutely willing Step Six, and offered up to God for removal as 3 - Almost willing “shortcomings” in Step Seven. Bill Wilson, when asked why he used three different sets of words to 4 - Reluctant, but willing to be willing defne character defects, said it was to avoid 5 - Give me more time repetition. Terefore, he intended that there be no signifcant distinction. Some members waste time 6 - I don’t think I will ever be willing by differentiating the three expressions, which we 7 - Never term, simply, as character defects. Place one of these level indicators in the right When Step Five is performed well, we leave column of the grid for each character defect. Add with a list of our character defects. In Step Six, we other defects as you learn them. progressively become willing to have these removed from us, and in Step Seven, we pray that they might be removed.

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CHARACTER DEFECT LIST 1 is Low Willingness - 7 is High Willingness Defect Willingness to Have Removed 1. Abusiveness 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 2. Anger/Wrath 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 3. Dishonesty 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 4. Envy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 5. Fear 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 6. Gluttony 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 7. Greed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. Humility 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9. Irresponsibility 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10. Lust 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 11. Pride 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 12. Procrastination 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 13. Stinginess 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 14. Toughtlessness 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

As you know from reading the 12&12, our HUMILITY? stubborn insistence to “never” allow a defect to be Are you Humble? Place a check mark next to removed must, itself, be removed. each of the statements in the form which If your willingness level for any item is not 1 identifes your level of Humility? or 2, you will want to repeat the exercise again Describe your level of Humility later. __ I am so low, I cohabit with worms. We are certain that God will not remove from __ I deserve contempt and condemnation. alcoholics the defects of character that we do not __ I am worthless. admit we have. Tis fact explains one of the __ I am flled with guilt, shame, remorse and reasons we must take Steps 4 and 5. We also self-loathing. know that God may remove our defects only to the extent that we are willing for them to be __ I feel like being totally honest. removed. Tat is why we take Step Six. He does __ I have little interest in impressing others. not intrude upon our private desires to cohabit __ I have nothing to hide from God. with the trash in the garbage can. __ I am coming to really know who I am. Even though the dictionary says that Humility describes one of lower status, that is not the spiritual signifcance of Humility. Terefore, the frst four

– 100 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition statements above describe humiliation, not Do you pray in a special posture? A special place? Humility. Why? Te root is “hum,” the same root as in humus and Is your motive underlying the Prayer as humor. For us, Humility means “down to earth.” important as the thoughts and words of the Prayer Humility means honest, real, and without itself? phoniness. Our role model, Mother Teresa had it Should your message be specifc and precise, or is right when she said, “If you are truly Humble, it OK to be vague in your requests to your Higher nothing can touch you, neither disgrace nor praise, Power? because you know who you are.” Place a checkmark next to the defects which God So, we enter into Step Seven with honesty, is likely to remove? willing to stand naked, so to speak, before God, __ Defects of which you are not aware. hiding nothing, and with no hidden motives. __ Defects that stand in the way of your MORE ABOUT GOD usefulness to God. In Step Seven, we ask God to do something – to remove our shortcomings. But not all conceptions of __ Defects that stand in the way of your a Higher Power are likely to improve us. Some of usefulness to others. the Higher Powers we have encountered are a tree, a __ Defects that annoy you. moving van, a rock, the classic light bulb, and even __ Defects that interfere with your happiness. the AA Group itself, which is suggested as a last resort starting point in AA literature. Amongst these, the only possible candidate for removing Once you have asked your Higher Power to shortcomings might be the AA Group. remove your defects (shortcomings), will they be However, we think it is not prudent to go gone? through your defects catalogue before your Group. Does your Higher Power reward you when you You would be exposing yourself unnecessarily. You comply with His will? would get confused and incompatible reactions from Does your Higher Power punish you when you them. At best, the Group, or even your Sponsor, do not comply with His will? might give you some insight into the nature of your Is it necessary for you to attend or be a member wrongs and some remedial possibilities. of a church? So, you might as well bite the bullet and open It is important to note that we ask only for the yourself up to the spiritual source, which we might removal of defects of character which stand in the as well call “God” for communication purposes. way of our usefulness to God and our fellows. What Here is an opportunity for you to identify further about the ones that are painful to us? We do not your own conception of God. Tis is not completely hand a list to God of our understanding and a true-false exercise. Some of your responses might demand that the defects we choose be removed. require some contemplation. Tinking deeply on In the Seventh Step we give up our judgements - these questions is the beneft of doing it. of others and of ourselves, but more importantly we give up our right to decide what we deserve or do YOUR OWN CONCEPTION OF GOD not deserve – remember what brought us to this What is the name of your Higher Power? place. Where is your Higher Power located? What is the primary location of your Higher We should never pray for what we deserve - most Power at the time you are meditating or praying? of us would not survive receiving it.

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Inventory Summary

Use this list as a quick review of the process outlined • Write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a in this booklet. line - no matter how dramatic or complex you USE YOUR SPONSOR feel that entry to be. • If your Sponsor wants to do anything • Always work down, not across. differently, go with your Sponsor’s direction! • When you cannot think of a name to add to Your Sponsor knows you as an individual. Your Column One for 20 minutes, begin Column Sponsor may have tools not included in this Two. booklet. • Column Two will have why this name is on STEPS ONE, TWO AND THREE your list. Do not use more than 19 words. If DR. BOB’S REVIEW you think of a new name for inclusion on your list in Column One while doing Column Two, Get a notebook and writing gear. • write it at the end of your current list of names. • Set a committed schedule (time, day, hours per • When you have completed the list of names week, etc.) and then stick to it. Discuss your with entries in Column Two, go to Column time commitment with your Sponsor. Tree. • Write your personal information on Page 1. • Go down the list and read Column One, the STEP FOUR item in Column Two related to Column One, and write down in Column Tree what this SESSION WORK affected. Describe what it affected in your own • Commit to your Sponsors how much time you words - the Seven Deadly Sins or other list. will spend working your inventory. Daily, Tese must mean something to you, personally. Weekly or however much time you will actually Hold Column Four until you sit down with devote to writing your Inventory. Minimum. • your Sponsor for Step Five. • Pray before you begin each session - get quiet On a new page, list your assets the same way and do whatever your personal spiritual • you listed the names in the previous section of practice suggests. the Inventory. • Pages two and three are the frst two-page When you can look at the list for ten minutes spread. Draw a line down the right page • and not come up with another asset, start the approximately in the middle. second column of how you have used, or • Begin on the left side of the left page margin abused, that gift. Keep the entries in this line to serve as Column One and begin to write column to a maximum of 19 words. names - people, places, institutions, principles, etc. If it comes to mind, write it down. Even if STEP FIVE you covered something on a previous Inventory • Let your Sponsor (or the other person with - if it comes up write it down! whom you are doing a Fifth Step) set the time, location and conditions of your Fifth Step. You

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may want to have soda, water or coﬀee STEP SIX available, and you may want to plan on sharing • Review your Fifth Step, particularly Column a meal if the Fifth will take a long time. Your Four, and spend a quiet hour meditating on Fifth Step may require more than one session, what you have learned about yourself. but usually the full Fifth can be done in a single Consider the benefts you get from the defects, face-to-face session. • shortcomings and the abuse of assets you have • Pray before you begin your Fifth, or whatever identifed in your Inventory. Are you willing to your spiritual practice requires. surrender those manipulated benefts and have • As you and your Sponsor discuss the frst three your Higher Power be in charge of your life columns, write into Column Four exactly what and rewards? Are you willing to simply do your part was in the item under discussion. what you are supposed to do without satisfaction of your desires, damage to others or • You may want a 2nd page to write a list of as part of your selfsh behaviors? recurring defects that come up during your Fifth Step. You may need to keep yet another STEP SEVEN page available to list items that will be required • Pray the full 3rd and 7th Step Prayers, with for your Eighth Step - the things for which you the personal words necessary for you to truly must make amends. believe your Prayer. If your belief has other • Listen to your Sponsor - a Sponsor’s experience practices or rituals to serve this purpose, do will be your strongest guide as to how you can those. deal with your own history. • Remember this is not a one time action, so • When your have completed Column Four, continue to look for your own selfshness, discuss what the results will mean for your defects, shortcomings or abuse of your gifts and Recovery - what you have learned. remain willing to surrender those actions. • End your Fifth Step with a Prayer or Meditation before you leave to do the frst hour of your Sixth Step. Continue Your Inventory as Needed.

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SOBER.ORG

Steps Eight and Nine Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine -Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. It is time now to clear away the wreckage of –verb (used without object) our past. We do this by making amends and 4. to grow or become better by reforming restitution. Restitution is defned as “the giving oneself: He amends day by day. back of something that was taken away.” FOCUS ON OTHERS Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had We can see that our purpose is not just to harmed, and became willing to make amends to relieve ourselves of the guilt and shame from the them all. effects of our past actions, but we are to “alter,” For Step Eight, we'll give you a guide in order “repair,” “to change for the better; improve,” “to for you to have one last opportunity to be certain correct faults in; rectify” and “become better.” that all has been uncovered. Please complete the Moving into our Ninth Step amends we step guide on your own as soon as possible. from the self-absorption of the frst eight steps to Now, please take out your Inventory forms, as the real world. To this point I admitted, I came to they are the heart of our Eighth Step amends list. believe, I did an Inventory, I shared it, I became But we also need to ask God to reveal to us any willing, I asked to have my defects removed, and I others we have harmed but who are not yet on our made the list of my harms while active in my list. We'll add their names now as we move on to alcoholism. Step Nine. But in Step Nine our goal is to heal the As part of our effort to be thorough, we must damage we have done. defne the word “amend,” and according to We hurt real people; I did not just hurt “my dictionary.com, we fnd: mother.” Before she ever had me she was a a·mend [uh-mend] woman with a life and goals and hopes, and I hurt –verb (used with object) that woman. Tat real woman. 1. to alter, modify, rephrase, or add to or Now I review my list and come to see these subtract from (a motion, bill, constitution, people as independent from me. What do I do to etc.) by formal procedure: Congress may make it better, to improve, to repair, to set right, amend the proposed tax bill. the real damage I did to these real people. How 2. to change for the better; improve: to amend do I do this without making it more about “me?” one's ways. Some people coming into AA are told they do 3. to remove or correct faults in; rectify. not have to do amends if it will be difficult,

– 104 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition embarrassing, or expensive. Many people follow Now, label each with a plus (+) or a minus (-), that direction and, since they have not done the depending on your willingness to make the work required by the Step, soon fnd themselves amends — a plus indicating immediate readiness drunk again – and very surprised. and the minus noting the ones you feel more “Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go hesitant about. to any lengths to fnd a spiritual experience, we REVIEW ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal • Whom did I hurt? consequences might be.” Page 79 • What did I do? To do Te Work means to Do Te Work! • Where was I at fault? Not to come up with reasons why the one • Where had I been selfsh, dishonest, or attempting to achieve lasting sobriety is different inconsiderate? and can explain their way out of doing that work. • Did I arouse: Jealousy? Suspicion? Bitterness? In the Ninth Step, we focus on the one we have hurt. Sometimes this means that we have to • What Should I have done differently? pay money, lose the reputation we had built by Step Eight: Types of Amends hiding the truth, or even serve time in prison to make amends for a real crime. Amend type (a) — People We Hate / But we become free, without the guilt, shame, Resent and doom that comes from continuing our life • It may be some have done us more harm than hiding the truth. We can walk down the street we have done them. without fear of being exposed, face the people we meet, and know that we have done what was in • With a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. our power to right our wrongs. • It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend, MORE ACTION but the beneft is greater. Te amends process is explained as the Big Book tells us what to do next: • Go in a helpful, forgiving spirit. “...Now we go out to our fellows and repair the • Do not criticize or argue. damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep • We are there to sweep off OUR side of the away the debris which has accumulated out of our street. effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask • Nothing can be accomplished until we do so. until it comes. Remember, it was agreed at the • Discuss your faults, not his or hers. beginning that we would go to any lengths for • Be calm, frank, open. victory over alcohol.” Page 88, 89 Te Big Book divides the amends that we • It doesn't matter if they accept the apology or throw us out of the office. We've done our part. need to make into fve types. We'll list each of the amends that you need to make according to the Now transfer the names from your resentment type. Ten, before approaching anyone, reread the and other lists, except for family members. Add advice offered by the Big Book regarding each any other names that have come to you that you type. Also, seek counsel from your Sponsor, have harmed or owe amends. spiritual advisor, or another member of the group Write your list. that’s gone through the amends process. Finally, pray each morning regarding all the items listed.

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Amend type (b) — The People / • We begin to feel self-pity . Institutions / Owed Money Most • So we look around for another, feeling alcoholics owe money. justifed, when WE were really the source of the problem in the frst place. • We don't dodge anyone. • Sometimes that leads to feelings of guilt. • In some cases, some of us had to disclose our alcoholism by way of explaining what drove us • We have to do something about this. and what we are now trying to do. • If the spouse does not know, we do not always • We do not try to beat anyone out of anything, say it is best to tell. but we arrange a deal that we can live up to. • If she knows something, we admit our fault. Arranging time payments has worked for many of us. • We have no right to name the others involved. • Let them know you're sorry. Write your list. Keep in mind we are dealing with the most • Drinking made us slow to pay. horrible human emotion: jealousy. • If we fear facing our creditors, we often drink. • Don't risk more combat over this. Write your list. • Some think just being sober in the home now Amend type (c) — Incidents of criminal is enough. It isn't. offense • We have treated spouses and family in a • Some of us padded expense accounts, fell shocking way. behind on child support, wrote bad checks, and • We have been like a tornado. committed other oﬀenses of the law. • We broke hearts and uprooted aﬀection, and • We remind ourselves that we must be willing our selfshness kept the home in turmoil. to go to any lengths to correct these mistakes if Just saying we are sorry will not do. we are to stay sober. • • We sit with the family and analyze the past, • We don't have the power to do this. not criticizing any of them. • We ask God for strength and direction. • Yes, they may have defects, but many of them • We don't worry about the consequences. We were inspired by our behaviors. know God will protect us if we try to do the We pray each morning for God to show us the right thing for a change. • way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love. • We may lose position or reputation, though most of us have experienced that already. Amend Type (e) — Wrongs We Can Never Fully Right • We are willing anyway. Be very careful about listing anyone or • We must not shrink at anything. anything here. We only list someone here if we Write your list. can HONESTLY say that the wrong cannot be righted, usually when to do so would further Amend Type (d) — Incidents of Domestic injure them or another person. We are willing (or Trouble pray for the willingness to become willing) to • We may have committed adultery. make the amend if we can. • After years with a drunk, spouses get worn out, • If the case is that they cannot be seen, we write resentful, and uncommunicative. them an honest letter.

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• We don't delay if it can be avoided. sacrifce them to save ourselves. Before taking • We do not have to be scraping, but we do have drastic action that might aﬀect another we get to be sensible, tactful, considerate, and their consent, we consult others, and we ask God Humble. to help. If the drastic step is still indicated, we move ahead. Discuss the circumstances surrounding the amends with your Sponsor or the meeting Tis guide may be copied and distributed facilitator before you list anyone here. freely so long as the content is not altered and the price, except for photocopying fees if desired, is CAUTION WHERE OTHERS ARE not charged. CONCERNED Sometimes others are involved (spouses, children, other family members). We don't

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SOBER.ORG

Step Nine - Doing It! READING FOR STEP NINE Self-Correction Our experience with Step Nine prompts us to ...sweep away the debris which has accumulated emphasize four ideas about this step. out of our eﬀort to live on self-will. Token amends will not do! Just what is an [BB, page 76, line 22] amend? Here is what our trusty dictionary said: ...demonstration of good will [BB, page 77] a-mend :(uh mend') v. v.t. ...sweep oﬀ our side of the street [BB, page 77] 1. to change for the better; improve. ...sit down with the family and frankly analyze 2. to remove or correct faults in; rectify. the past as we now see it. [BB, page 83,] 3. to grow or become better by reforming oneself. ...We clean house with the family. [BB, page 83] Later in this document you will see an ...asking each morning in Meditation that our extraction of words and phrases that the authors Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, of the Big Book used to describe what they meant kindliness and love. [BB, page 83] by the word amend. Teir true meaning, while ...Te spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live including the defnition above, is more like the it... [BB, page 83] synonyms for the word, “rectify:” ...Our behavior will convince them more than our rectify : v. words. [BB, page 83] 1. right, set right, put right, make right, correct, ...Tere may be some wrongs we can never fully adjust, regulate, straighten, square; focus, right. [BB, page 83] attune; mend, amend, emend, fx, repair, ...Some people cannot be seen—we send them an revise; remedy, redress, cure, reform. honest letter. [BB, page 83] One might even use the defnition of the ...We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and word, "repair,” to express their meaning: Humble without being servile or scraping. re-pair :[1] (ri pâr') -paired, -pair-ing . v.t. [BB, page 83] 1. to restore to a good or sound condition after Restitution decay or damage; mend. ...repair the damage [we have] done in the past 2. to restore or renew. [BB, page 76] 3. to remedy; make up for; compensate for. ...set right the wrong [BB, page 77, line] Extracted words and phrases as examples of ...straighten out the past [BB, page 77] "amends:” ...arranging the best deal... [of repayment] ... we BB = the Big Book of AA, Alcoholics can [BB, page 78] Anonymous ...reparations [BB, page 79] 12&12 = Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ...sent...money [BB, page 79]

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...willing to go to jail [BB, page 79] On the other hand, when we are forgiving others, ...make a public statement [BB, page 80] it is rarely appropriate to approach them to let ... [make]...good to the wife or parents them know they are forgiven. Why? [BB, page 82] Tey might have no idea that we have resented them. After all, the resentment is ours. ...reconstruction [BB, page 83] Letting them in on our problem cannot do them Apology any good, and may cause them considerable hurt feelings or aggravation – even anger. ...confessing our former ill feeling [BB, page 77] We have been learning not to play God and to ...expressing our regret [BB, page 77] avoid Ego-serving activities. Approaching others ...we let these people know we are sorry to let them know they are forgiven would usually [BB, page 78] be thought of as self-serving. Tis we avoid. ...admitting faults [BB, page 79] If, on the other hand, the injuring party has ...admit our faults [BB, page 81] let us know that they feel guilt about what they ...asking forgiveness [BB, page 79] have done, it can often be a true act of kindness to let them know they are off the hook as far as we ...A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won't are concerned. We do this with true Humility and fll the bill at all. [BB, page 83] compassion. We never give the impression that Don't rush into amends without guidance. they owe us something for our act of forgiveness. You can mess up yourself and others unless the We then try to treat them the way we want others best judgment is used. When we are new to to forgive us for our own wrongs. sobriety, our judgment is often not so swift. Please Some of our members believe that the other read again the words we offered for Step Eight, side of the forgiveness coin, that we are forgiven which is the planning of your amendment step. for our transgressions, is a necessary goal of Step Your amends must never harm others. Both of Nine. Tere is no need at all that we be forgiven the books make clear that we cannot seek by the person we have harmed after we make an atonement at the expense of others. Be especially amend. If they choose to tell us we are forgiven, careful not to implicate or injure other people in that is a fne gesture – one we might cherish. your wrong-doing. However, the real goal here is that you cease to Don't forget to take the hidden step – know guilt stemming from your prior acts or forgiveness. You will recall that in Step Four you omissions. Te removal of guilt is the exclusive listed the people who had harmed you as part of domain of your spiritual power. your resentment matrix. None of the steps On your way. Your Step Nine can last from emphasizes sufficiently that the ultimate process several weeks to many years. Start it when you of resentment eradication (and they must be have fnished Step Eight and are told to do so. wiped out) is forgiveness of those we resent. If you Continue until you are done. have not yet cleaned up your resentments, fnish them off in Step Nine. It then becomes the Promises of Step Nine double-edged sword that cuts you free from all Here are the 20 promises starting at the harms done by you and to you. bottom of page 83 in the Big Book. Some people However, there is a difference between being think these are the only promises the Big Book forgiven and forgiving. Our amends to those we makes. Little do they realize that each step has a have harmed are made at our own initiative and set of promises, and that there are many more directly to the person harmed, whenever possible. besides. Tere are even a few guarantees. Drop us

– 109 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition a line if you have found the 173 promises and • Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will guarantees in the Big Book that we have found. change. If we are painstaking about this phase of our • Fear of people (will leave us) and development, • (Fear) of economic insecurity will leave us. • We will be amazed before we are half way • We will intuitively know how to handle through. situations which used to baﬄe us. • We are going to know a new freedom • We will suddenly realize that God is doing for • And a new happiness. us what we could not do for ourselves. • We will not regret the past • Are these extravagant promises? We think not. Tey are being fulflled among us—sometimes • Nor wish to shut the door on it. quickly, sometimes slowly. • We will comprehend the word serenity and we • Tey will always materialize if we work for will know peace. them. • No matter how far down the scale we have Writing: It would be a good idea to update gone, we will see how our experience can beneft others. your amendment plan (Step Eight) when each amendment is done. Check it oﬀ. Make a note as • Tat feeling of uselessness (will disappear). to their reaction. If an agreement was reached • And self-pity will disappear. concerning further action on your part, write it • We will lose interest in selfsh things and (we down. We even know one Sponsor who keeps will) gain interest in our fellows. Step Eight lists of his Step partners on a computer (on an encrypted fle for total privacy). • Self-seeking will slip away. Every month or so, the list is made current.

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SOBER.ORG

Forgiveness – The Missing Step

Tis is a discussion of forgiveness. First, we If you explore the origins of the word point out, as if you didn’t already know, that resentment in our dictionary your will fnd: alcoholics tend to feel victimized by people, Resent has also been used in other senses that places, things, and the cosmos in general. As if seem strange to us, such as “to feel pain” or “to this were not enough, we alcoholics also carry a perceive by smell.” Te thread that ties the senses grudge about what has been done to us or not together is the notion of feeling or perceiving. done for us. Again. In the paragraphs that follow, we explore the For the alcoholic, resentment is a reliving of implications of carrying resentments around with the offense that injured us in the frst place. Tink us. If we cannot get rid of our resentments any about it. We perceive that we are punishing that other way, we are sometimes faced with the person for their wrong, when in fact, we are ultimate resentment eradication tool forgiveness– simply willing ourselves to feel the hurt again, and we forgive those whom we resent. Te nature of again, and again. Get the point? Resenting makes forgiveness is investigated, and fnally, techniques no more sense than our drinking did. Something to achieve forgiveness are presented. Our is twisted in brainsville, we think. discussion of forgiveness is elaborated upon through links to four additional pages below. It is METHODS OF RESENTMENT REMOVAL best, we think, that they be viewed in the order How are resentments removed? Here are the listed. customary methods and they are presented in increasing order of difficulty (to the alcoholic, that ALCOHOLICS ARE RESENTMENT–PRONE is): Most alcoholics have a deep (almost pathological) sense of justice. If we are wronged NEGLECT (meaning often that we did not get what we Yes, benign neglect removes most of our wanted) or if we even conjure up the notion that thoughts of the day. We simply forget about we might have been wronged, we fnd full things that are not important to us. As we grow in justifcation to express anger or harbor our sobriety we are less interested in harboring resentment. It then seems almost a duty to carry a resentments and they follow a natural order of justifed resentment. Otherwise, those who have elimination, unless they are captured by our wronged us would get off scot-free. And that perverse habits. wouldn't be right, would it? So, we waste our REFLECTION God-given lives judging and punishing our If we are aware of our resentment and, if we fellows. Relinquishing a justifed resentment is wish to get rid of it, we are wise to think about it. one of the most difficult experiences known to the Did we really hear what the other person said? alcoholic. Did they really say what they meant? Was what we heard just a rumor? Does the offending action ft a pattern, or might it have been a fuke? Was

– 111 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition the offender in distress? Are we giving this person person in order to tell them that they are forgiven. the beneft of the doubt? If not, why are we better Usually, they will have no idea of having off carrying resentment? committed an offense and they will wonder who the dickens you think you are forgiving them – INVESTIGATION Maybe we need more substantiation or facts? God, perhaps? Is there independent verifcation of what FINALITY happened? Have we mentioned to the perceived Once you have forgiven another person the act offending person that we are taken aback by their is fnal. It need never be repeated nor should you action and we would like to see if we understood permit the resentment to recur. correctly? Do the facts substantiate that we were Of course, there is the old standby – Prayer. really harmed on purpose? If not, why not just After the discussion of each step in the Big Book, drop the whole thing? a number of methods to alleviate or remove BENEFIT/COST ANALYSIS problems are set forth. Te persistent and If there was a real offense, especially an fundamental tool "suggested" to us is Prayer. intentional one, what is the beneft to us of Prayer should have been in the list above, but we carrying a resentment? Should it be a big didn't know how to rank it in order of difficulty. resentment? What should be its ranking among For some of us, Prayer is the easy and natural tool the other justifed resentments we already have? for straightening out our lives. For others, it is an Will its insertion into our resentment Inventory alien, even hostile, prospect. Whatever one's mean we should discard a resentment of lesser feeling about Prayer might be, there should be injury? How long should we carry this steady effort to make it a primary ingredient in resentment? Does it justify vengeance? Are we our consciousness. willing to suffer loss of friendship, destruction of WHAT IS FORGIVENESS property, expense, arrest, or social disfavor as a consequence of being judge, jury, and executioner? for-give (fuhr giv') v. <-gave, -giv-en, Would it simply be nicer to be rid of the -giv-ing> resentment? 1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, sin, etc.); absolve. FORGIVENESS Yes, it is possible to be rid of residual 2. to cancel or remit (a debt, obligation, etc.): to resentments through forgiveness. Te reference forgive the interest owed on a loan. links below will describe how this can be done. 3. to grant pardon to (a person). Here are a few pointers though: 4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive ANONYMITY one's enemies. Te person you resent need not know of your 5. to pardon an offense or an offender. resentment. In fact, it is much better and simpler WHO IS THE KEEPER OF OUR WRONGS if they do not know. A grudge nurtured in secret Tere may be a bit of our personal theology is much sweeter anyway. here. If yours is different, please don't be PRIVACY offended. You might just be right. Unless the person whom you resent has asked When we commit an offense (or fail to fulfll for your forgiveness or, if you are absolutely an obligation), the wrong is recorded. Te party(s) certain that they will cherish your forgiveness, you we have offended, if any, might keep score – most should keep your forgiving private. It can be a people do. We also add to the bag of guilt, shame, gross form of arrogance to approach another

– 112 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition remorse, and self-loathing that we haul around ourselves as we are intended to do. We must also with us. be enabled to look into the mirror and smile at the But the real recorder has been built into the creature emerging from the slime of self-centered system of the universe by its Creator. It is assertion into the service of the Father through his automatic and inevitable that all wrongs are fellows. Knowing that we are forgiven is a recorded and the one and only thing that can requirement for the sober life. remove them is amendment (correction or repair) Te frst thing to do is to clear away the false of the wrong. Period. crimes of which we have convicted ourselves. A In the East, they call this system Karma. In solid Step Five will produce a list of our defects of metaphysics, they might call it the Akasha. character and a preliminary list of persons we have Whatever it is called and wherever it is located harmed. If we feel bad about ourselves for (most likely within us), it works, and it always anything not on these lists, the lists are either works without fail. incomplete or we are caught up in the defect of senseless self-condemnation. Feeling bad about Objectives of Forgiveness oneself, which might have been justifed when we Just who is being forgiven, and by whom? were doing our damage, is often an emotional hangover that needs to be discarded. You can FORGIVING OTHERS If an act of courtesy on our part will help create a self-respect (not pride) list. It might be others feel better about themselves, then perhaps next to the mirror and it might say, "I have cause we should let them know we have no negative to respect myself today because I have ... (list of feelings about their actions. But we should never good deeds, steps taken, persons helped, believe that we can, in fact, interfere in their being Prayers, etc.).” But, be sure never to put yourself forgiven in accordance with God's plan for them. on your Step Eight list. Our beliefs and actions are not part of that plan. Te second thing to do is to take Step Nine (after completing Step One through Step Eight BEING FORGIVEN BY OTHERS with your Sponsor, of course). Why? Because an Te same logic applies as with forgiving amend is the only means of gaining forgiveness. others. Cosmetic forgiveness between humans can be a compassionate act. However, genuine OUR “RIGHT” TO FORGIVE forgiveness is a very personal matter. We feel that when a wrong is committed there is an immediate creation of a record of the act. BEING FORGIVEN BY GOD Tis record cannot be prevented NOR can it be God does not keep records nor does He carry eradicated through forgiveness. Te injured party grudges. Te universal system of justice He has cannot remove the record, and God will not do so created takes care of correction and forgiveness either, because He created the system of records automatically. He does not intervene. He simply in the frst place. It works just fne for Him. loves us all the time. So, how are you and others absolved from FORGIVING OURSELVES your wrongs? You guessed it. Step Nine. Just as humans cannot truly forgive each Amendment (repair/correction) of the offense other, self-forgiveness is not possible, either. removes the record automatically. Forgiveness However, there is more to be said here. We plays no part whatsoever in absolution. assuredly agree that many, if not most, alcoholics Why all this talk about forgiveness then? Te know guilt, shame, remorse, and self-loathing to fact is that we are not forgiving offenses against excess. We MUST be rid of these before we can ourselves by removing the need for amendment truly see the perfection of the Creator within on the part of the offender. Tat we cannot do. – 113 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Only amendment can do that. Our act of Here are some additional sources we have forgiving is to clean out ourselves. Tat's right. found genuinely helpful. You might notice that We remove from ourselves the curse we have some of them don't agree completely with what imposed upon ourselves to punish the oﬀender. we have said. Tat doesn't make them, or us, Our forgiveness absolves not their act but removes wrong. It does make it necessary for you to dwell our own personal reaction to it. deeply upon your own convictions. Wow, what a concept! It is not their karma we correct, but our own!

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SOBER.ORG

The Big Book on Forgiveness Our Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) has a Column #2) What did they do that you found great deal to say about resentments and offensive? forgiveness. Enjoy. Column #3) How did you contribute to their HARBORING RESENTMENTS IS FATAL action? and We are reluctant to repeat the book. Column #4) Why did you react with a However, some of the points it makes cannot resentment? be left without comment: If we were to read page Te frst lesson is that resentments cannot be 66 again, we would note the power of resentment cleared up until we know we have them and why. far exceeds any conception we had of negative Te second lesson is that we have made ourselves thinking. Were you aware that: vulnerable to the outside world to an ...a life which includes deep resentment leads only extraordinary extent. Our entire self-concept has to futility and unhappiness. been molded by the opinions and actions of others, and our old thinking as to what we ought Te hours in which we allow futility and to be and were. unhappiness in our lives are not worthwhile. Resentments waste our lives. Next, it is necessary to be willing to let go of the resentment. You will learn more about this in Resentments shut us off from the sunlight of Step Six. Moreover (and the Big Book doesn't the Spirit, thereby preventing the maintenance give as much help here as it might), we must and growth of a spiritual experience. forgive the person we resent. Tere will be more When shadowed from the sunlight of the discussion of forgiving others in Step Eight. Just Spirit, the insanity of alcohol returns, we drink accept right now that you are going to have to do again, and we die. it! Tere is no other course. Harboring of resentments is fatal. Te ultimate key given you in the Big Book is Yet, freeing ourselves of resentment must be the oft repeated notion that your life is now on a done! Tere is striking evidence that resentment different basis. A basis is a foundation – that upon creates a physical poison in our bodies in addition which all the rest stands. Your new basis is to the mental and spiritual maladies it feeds. trusting and relying upon God.

ERADICATING RESENTMENTS THE ART OF FORGIVENESS How do we rid ourselves of resentments? Reprinted from the Big Book (Alcoholics Hopefully, this process began in Step Four. Our Anonymous) and the 12&12 list holds the key. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least Note the message of the column headings in God will show us how to take a kindly and our Inventory: tolerant view of each and every one. Referring to Column #1) Who do you hold a grudge our list again. Putting out of our minds the against? wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for

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our own mistakes. Where had we been selfsh, was while working on this Step with our dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Tough a Sponsors or spiritual advisers that we frst felt situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply to disregard the other person involved entirely. we felt they had wronged us. Our moral Where were we to blame? Te Inventory was Inventory had persuaded us that all-round ours, not the other man's. Page 67, line 11 forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when If we are sorry for what we have done, and have we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly the honest desire to let God take us to better knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give things, we believe we will be forgiven and will it, too.” 12 & 12, page 57 have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and “Tese obstacles, however, are very real. Te frst, our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite and one of the most diﬃcult, has to do with sure to drink. We are not theorizing. Tese are forgiveness. Te moment we ponder a twisted or facts out of our experience. Page 70, line 8 broken relationship with another person, our Te question of how to approach the man we emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at hated will arise. It may be he had done us more the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully harm than we have done him and, though we focus on the wrong he has done us. Tis is may have acquired a better attitude toward him, especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at we are still not too keen about admitting our all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting take the bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an our own. enemy than to a friend, but we fnd it much more “Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. benefcial to us. We go to him in a helpful and It doesn't make much sense when a real tosspot forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling calls a kettle black. Let's remember that alcoholics and expressing our regret. Under no condition do are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. we criticize such a person or argue. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our behavior Page 77, line 18 when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of When we retire at night, we constructively review our best friends to a snapping point, and have our day. Were we resentful, selfsh, dishonest, or brought out the very worst in those who didn't afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept think much of us to begin with. In many instances something to ourselves which should be discussed we are really dealing with fellow suﬀerers, people with another person at once? Were we kind and whose woes we have increased. If we are now loving toward all? What could we have done about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and time? Or were we thinking of what we could do all?” 12 & 12, page 78 for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into Step Eight worry, remorse or morbid refections, for that We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of would diminish our usefulness to others. After admitting the things we have done, meanwhile making our review we ask God's forgiveness and forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We inquire what corrective measures should be taken. should avoid extreme judgments, both of ourselves Page 86, line 5 and of others involved. We must not exaggerate Step Five our defects or theirs. A quiet, objective view will be our steadfast aim. 12 & 12, page 81] “Tis vital Step was also the means by which we In all these situations we need self-restraint, began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, honest analysis of what is involved, a willingness no matter what we had thought or done. Often it

– 116 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition to admit when the fault is ours, and an equal Page 448 willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. One morning, however, I realized I had to get rid 12 & 12, page 9l of (my resentment), for my reprieve was running ...that where there is wrong, I may bring the out, and if I didn't get rid of it I was going to get spirit of forgiveness 12 & 12, page 99 drunk--and I didn't want to get drunk any more. In my Prayers that morning I asked God to point ... It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. out to me some way to be free of this resentment. 12 & 12, page 99 During the day a friend of mine brought me some Ten he asked for the grace to bring love, magazines to take to a hospital group I was forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, interested in, and I looked through them and a and joy to every human being he could. "banner" across the front of one featured an article by a prominent clergyman in which I caught the 12 & 12, page 101 word resentment He thought it better to give comfort than to He said, in effect: "If you have a resentment you receive it; better to understand than to be want to be free of, if you will pray for the person understood; better to forgive than to be forgiven. or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If 12 & 12, page 101 you will ask in Prayer for everything you want At last, acceptance proved to be the key to my for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. drinking problem. After I had been around AA for Ask for their health, their prosperity, their seven months, tapering off alcohol and pills, not happiness, and you will be free. Even when you fnding the program working very well, I was don't really want it for them, and your Prayers fnally able to say, "Okay, God. It is true that I–of are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead all people, strange as it may seem, and even and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks though I didn't give my permission–really, really and you will fnd you have come to mean it and to am an alcoholic of sorts. And it's all right with want it for them and you will realize that where me. Now, what am I going to do about it?" When you used to feel bitterness and resentment and I stopped living in the problem and began living hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding in the answer, the problem went away. From that and love." moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to It worked for me then, and it has worked for me drink. many times since, and it will work for me every And acceptance is the answer to all my problems time I am willing to work it. Sometimes I have to today. When I am disturbed, it is because I fnd ask frst for the willingness, but it too always some person, place, thing, or situation--some fact comes. Because it works for me, it will work for all of my life --unacceptable to me, and I can fnd no of us. As another great man says, "Te only real serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or freedom a human being can ever know is doing situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to what you ought to do because you want to do it." be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing Tis great experience that released me from the happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could bondage of hatred and replaced it with love is accept my alcoholism, 1 could not stay sober; unless really just another affirmation of the truth I I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be know: I get everything I need in Alcoholics happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what Anonymous everything I need I get--and when I needs to be changed in the world as on what needs get what I need I invariably fnd that it was just to be changed in me and in my attitudes. . what I wanted all the time. Page 552

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SOBER.ORG

Forgiveness Reprinted from The Sermon On the Mount, by Emmet Fox “Forgive Us Our Trespasses, as We Forgive Them that Trespass Against Us”

Tis clause is the turning point of the Prayer. all men. Just because in Him we live and move It is the strategic key to the whole Recovery. Let and have our being, we are, in the absolute sense, us notice here that Jesus has so arranged this all essentially one. marvelous Prayer that it covers the entire ground Evil, sin, the fall of man, in fact, are of the enfoldment of our souls completely, and in essentially the attempt to negate this Truth in our the most concise and telling way. It omits nothing thoughts. We try to live apart from God. We try that is essential for our salvation, and yet, so to do without Him. We act as though we had a compact is it that there is not a thought or a word life of our own, as separate minds, as though we too much. Every idea fts into its place with could have plans, purposes, and interests separate perfect harmony and in perfect sequence. from His. All this, if it were true, would mean Anything more would be redundant; anything less that existence is not one and harmonious, but a would be incompleteness, and at this point, it chaos of competition and strife. It would mean takes up the critical factor of forgiveness. that we are quite separate from our fellow man Having told us what God is, what man is, and could injure him, rob him, or hurt him, or how the universe works, how we are to do our even destroy him, without any damage to own work (the salvation of humanity and of our ourselves. In fact, the more we took from other own souls), he then explains what our true people the more we should have for ourselves. It nourishment or supply is, and the way in which would mean that the more we considered our own we can obtain it. Now, he comes to the interests, and the more indiﬀerent we were to the forgiveness of sins. welfare of others, the better oﬀ we should be. Te forgiveness of sins is the central problem Of course it would then follow naturally that of life. Sin is a sense of separation from God and it would pay others to treat us in the same way, is the major tragedy of human experience. It is, of and that accordingly we might expect many of course, rooted in selfshness. It is essentially an them to do so. Now if this were true, it would attempt to gain some supposed good to which we mean that the whole universe is only a jungle; that are not entitled in justice. It is a sense of isolated, sooner or later it must destroy itself by its own self-regarding, personal existence, whereas the inherent weakness and anarchy. But, of course, it Truth of Being is that all are One. Our true selves is not true and therein lays the joy of life. are at one with God, undivided from Him, Undoubtedly, many people do act as though expressing His ideas, witnessing to His nature – they believed it to be true, and a great many more the dynamic Tinking of that Mind. Because we who would be dreadfully shocked if brought face are all one with the great Whole of which we are to face with that proposition in cold blood, have spiritually a part, it follows that we are one with nevertheless, a vague feeling that such must be

– 118 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition very much the way things are even though they, Notice that Jesus does not say, "forgive me my themselves, are personally above consciously trespasses and I will try to forgive others," or "I acting in accordance with such a notion. Now, will see if it can be done," or "I will forgive this is the real basis of sin, of resentment, of generally, with certain exceptions." He obliges us condemnation, of jealousy, of remorse, and all the to declare that we have actually forgiven, and evil brood that walk that path. forgiven all; and he makes our claim to our own Tis belief in independent and separate forgiveness to depend upon that. Who is there existence is the arch sin, and now, before we can that has grace enough to say his Prayers at all, progress any further, we have to take the knife to who does not long for the forgiveness or this evil thing and cut it out once and for all. Jesus cancellation of his own mistakes and faults? Who knew this, and with this defnite end in view, he would be so insane as to endeavor to seek the inserted at this critical point a carefully prepared Kingdom of God without desiring to be relieved statement that would encompass our end and his, of his own sense of guilt? No one, we may believe. without the shadow of a possibility of miscarrying. So, we see that we are trapped in the inescapable He inserted what is nothing less than a trip clause. position that we cannot demand our own release He drafted a declaration that would force us, before we have released our brother. without any conceivable possibility of escape, Te forgiveness of others is the vestibule of evasion, mental reservation, or subterfuge of any Heaven, and Jesus knew it, and has led us to the kind, to execute the great sacrament of forgiveness door. You must forgive everyone who has ever in all its fullness and far-reaching power. hurt you if you want to be forgiven yourself; that As we repeat the Great Prayer intelligently, is the long and the short of it. You have to get rid considering and meaning what we say, we are of all resentment and condemnation of others, suddenly, so to speak, caught up oﬀ our feet and and not least, of self-condemnation and remorse. grasped as though in a vise, so that we must face You have to forgive others and, having this problem – and there is no escape. We must discontinued your own mistakes, you have to positively and defnitely extend forgiveness to accept the forgiveness of God for them too, or you everyone to whom it is possible that we can owe cannot make any progress. You have to forgive forgiveness, namely, to anyone that we think can yourself, but you cannot forgive yourself sincerely have injured us in any way. Jesus leaves no room until you have forgiven others frst. Having for any possible glossing of this fundamental forgiven others, you must be prepared to forgive thing. He has constructed his Prayer with more yourself too. To refuse to forgive oneself is only skill than ever yet lawyer displayed in the casting spiritual pride. "And by that sin fell the angels." of a deed. He has so contrived it that once our We cannot make this point too clear to attention has been drawn to this matter, we are ourselves; we have got to forgive. Tere are few inevitably obliged either to forgive our enemies in people in the world who have not at some time or sincerity and truth, or never again to repeat that another been hurt, really hurt, by someone else, or Prayer. It is safe to say that no one who reads this been disappointed, or injured, or deceived, or booklet with understanding will ever again be able misled. Such things sink into the memory where to use the Lord's Prayer unless and until he has they usually cause infamed and festering wounds, forgiven. Should you now attempt to repeat it and there is only one remedy – they have to be without forgiving, it can safely be predicted that plucked out and thrown away. Te one and only you will not be able to fnish it. Tis great central way to do that is by forgiveness. clause will stick in your throat. Of course, nothing in the entire world is easier than to forgive than people who have not hurt us

– 119 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition very much. Nothing is easier than to rise above though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie than the thought of a trifing loss. Anybody will to the thing that you hate. be willing to do this but what the Law of Being Te one person perhaps in the whole world requires of us is that we forgive not only these whom you most dislike is the very one to whom trifes, but also the very things that are so hard to you are attaching yourself by a hook that is forgive that at frst it seems impossible to do it at stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this all. Te despairing heart cries, "It is too much to the condition in which you desire to go on living? ask. Tat thing meant too much to me. It is Remember, you belong to the thing with which impossible. I cannot forgive it." But the Lord's you are linked in thought. At some time or other, Prayer makes our own forgiveness from God, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment which means our escape from guilt and limitation, will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to dependent upon just this very thing. Tere is no wreak further havoc. Do you think that you can escape from this, and so forgiveness there must afford this? Of course, no one can afford such a be, no matter how deeply we may have been thing and so the way is clear. You must cut all injured, or how terribly we have suffered. It must such ties by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. be done. You must loose him and let him go. By If your Prayers are not being answered, search forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your your consciousness and see if there is not someone soul. Because the law of love works alike for one whom you have yet to forgive. Find out if there is and all, you also help to save his soul, making it so not some old thing about which you are very much easier for him to become what he ought to resentful. Search and see if you are not really be. holding a grudge (it may be camoufaged in some But how, in the name of all that is wise and self-righteous way) against some individual, or good, is the magic act of forgiveness to be some body of people, a nation, a race, a social accomplished, when we have been so deeply class, some religious movement of which you injured that, though we have long wished with all disapprove perhaps, a political party, or what-not. our hearts that we could forgive, we have If you are doing so, then you have an act of nevertheless found it impossible; when we have forgiveness to perform, and when this is done, you tried and tried to forgive, but have found the task will probably take your action. If you cannot beyond us. forgive at present, you will have to wait for your Te technique of forgiveness is simple enough, demonstration until you can. You will have to and not very difficult to manage when you postpone fnishing your recital of the Lord's understand how. Te only thing that is essential is Prayer, as well, or involve yourself in the position willingness to forgive. Provided you desire to that you do not desire the forgiveness of God. forgive the offender, the greater part of the work Setting others free means setting yourself free is already done. People have always made such a because resentment is really a form of attachment. misunderstanding of forgiveness because they It is a Cosmic Truth that it takes two to make a have been under the erroneous impression that to prisoner; the prisoner – and a jailer. Tere is no forgive a person means that you have to compel such thing as being a prisoner on one's own yourself to like him. account. Every prisoner must have a jailer, and the Happily this is by no means the case – we are jailer is as much a prisoner as his charge. When not called upon to like anyone whom we do not you hold resentment against anyone, you are fnd ourselves liking spontaneously, and indeed, it bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, is quite impossible to like people to order. You can no more like people to order than you can

– 120 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition hold the winds in your fst. If you endeavor to you have done it once and for all, and to do it a coerce yourself into doing so, you will fnish by second time would be tacitly to repudiate your disliking or hating the offender more than ever. own work. Afterward, whenever the memory of People used to think that when someone had hurt the offender or the offense happens to come into them very much, it was their duty, as good your mind, bless the delinquent briefy and Christians, to pump up, as it were, a feeling of dismiss the thought. liking for him. Since such a thing is utterly Do this however many times the thought may impossible, they suffered a great deal of distress, come back. After a few days it will return less and and ended, necessarily, with failure and a resulting less often, until you forget it altogether. Ten, sense of sinfulness. We are not obliged to like perhaps after an interval, shorter or longer, the old anyone, but we are under a binding obligation to trouble may come back to memory once more. love everyone. Love, or charity as the Bible calls it, You will fnd that now all bitterness and meaning a vivid sense of impersonal good will. resentment have disappeared and you are both Tis has nothing directly to do with the feelings. free with the perfect freedom of the children of It is always followed, sooner or later, by a God. Your forgiveness is complete. You will wonderful feeling of peace and happiness. experience a wonderful joy in the realization of Te method of forgiving is this: Get by the demonstration. yourself and become quiet. Repeat any Prayer or Everybody should practice general forgiveness treatment that appeals to you, or read a chapter of every day as a matter of course. When you say the Bible. Ten quietly say, "I fully and freely your daily Prayers, issue a general amnesty, forgive X (mentioning the name of the offender); forgiving everyone who may have injured you in I loose him and let him go. I completely forgive any way, and on no account particularize. Simply the whole business in question. say: "I freely forgive everyone." Ten, in the “As far as I am concerned, it is fnished course of the day, should the thought of grievance forever. I cast the burden of resentment upon the or resentment come up, bless the offender briefy, Christ within me. He is free now, and I am free and dismiss the thought. too. I wish him well in every phase of his life. Te result of this policy will be that very soon Tat incident is fnished. Te Christ Truth has set you will fnd yourself cleared of all resentment and us both free. I thank God." condemnation and the effect upon your happiness, Ten get up and go about your business. On your bodily health, and your general life will be no account repeat this act of forgiveness, because nothing less than revolutionary.

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Step Ten “Continued to take personal Inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

Te last three steps are frequently called the sound out our reactions, thinking and planned “Maintenance” Steps. Tey are also summarized actions. Te refection we receive from the people as “Body, Mind and Spirit.” with whom we share will guide us into correcting Step Ten deals with the “Mind” part of the our own thought and actions. (Step Five) Body–Mind–Spirit of our daily life. Te Mind is We look at our willingness to surrender our supposed to monitor our daily life. Tis is where defects, to give up the benefts we receive through we ask ourselvse about our interactions with other those defects, and make ourselves willing to have people, monitor our own attitudes and behaviors. those shortcomings removed, without reservation. On a daily basis we exercise the Steps to show (Step Six) the new thinking and actions we have received in Actively include in our daily Prayer and Recovery. Tis means we remain vigilant to keep Meditations the desire to have our defects our Recovery fresh and avoid falling back into old removed, knowing that we do not get to limit thinking and actions, to the beneft of ourselves what parts of our personality or behaviors will be and others. removed. We make the eﬀort to make oursevles Admitting to being an alcholic is a foundation Humble, not demanding. (Step Seven) of truth where we must be aware of our tendency We review our list of people we have harmed to be selfsh and self-serving, that our life is and see where names should be removed or unmanageable when under our own brains. (Step added. We must be honest, neither avoiding One) responsibility for the results of our actions, nor Tere is a power, greater than ourselves that infating our value to make us seem more can return, or deliver, us to sanity. (Step Two) important in the lives of others. (Step Eight) Every day we have the choice to surrender our We review what actions we can take to correct own Ego and desire to the care and direction of the damage we may have caused, note our God as we understand God. (Step Tree) experience in previous corrections we have made, We must track our actions, attitudes, and then discuss such actions with our Sponsor resentments and eﬀects to make ourselves more and others before taking what we think would be benefcial to God and the people around us. Tis actions to repair or make better what has appeared can be written down or simply observed – most on our list. We do direct amends where possible, people in Recovery do both. Tis is also called and indirect amends where we are unable to “Keeping Your Side of the Street Clean.” (Step correct damage from our past behaviors. (Step Four) Nine) Running under the isolation and Ego of our Step Ten leads us through the frst Nine Steps own brain can be deadly, so we use our Sponsor like a well stocked toolbox to prevent new damage and the small group of people in the fellowship to when possible and live a new life as a beneft to ourselves and the people around us.

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Step Eleven “Sought, through Prayer and Meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Prayer and Meditation are personal actions MEDITATION that refect your understanding of your Higher Meditation can confuse many people. It can Power. include a formal system of words, music or If you are a member of a recognized faith, you actions, or it can be a simple way of calming the will probalby fnd guidelines on when and how to inner turmoil to fnd a calmness from which pray and meditate. healthy decisions can be made. If you have a tradition that gives you guidelines and methods, If you are not a member of a system of belief you may beneft from applying those guidelines to or thought that gives a specifc regimen for Prayer your own practice of Meditation. If you have not and Meditation, you have options to adopt had a method of Meditation before getting into systems that ft within your understanding of a Recovery, there are many books, recordings and ‘spritual life.’ classes you can consider to learn a method that PRAYER works for you. Many members of our fellowship refer to Te most important thing about Meditation is Prayer as talking to God, Meditation is listening. that you make the eﬀort. Meditation is a tool to Some people believe in a diety which they call provide calm in turmoil, quiet in chaos, and a God. If their Higher Power, God, is in charge, is foundation on which to build healthy decisions everywhere, knows everything and makes all and actions. decisions, what is their purpose in Prayer? Tey In the early days of AA, while it was emerging cannot tell God something God does not know. from the Oxford Group, the members observed Tey cannot negotiate a ‘better deal’ than what “quiet time,” at home to start the day, and at the God has decided. Tey cannot go somewhere gatherings to begin the meeting. Tis was a group God will not see what they do. Meditation, after which the member of the group If you are one of these people, Prayer is the would discuss any guidance that had been received time you make yourself honest. You can tell God on his or her problems. Many groups maintain that you are scared. You can be honest about your the orginal Oxford Group observance of quiet desires and try to make yourself willing to accept time at the beginning of their meetings. what you do or do not receive. Almost all members of AA say that the best Prayer is “Tank you.”

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Steps Ten and Eleven Together

Te Steps are structured to provide Standing with Christians in our meetings we recognition of our problem (alcoholism and the have sober Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, spiritual poverty that accompanies that disease), native beliefs, and organized schools on and the corrective measures to heal our past as far non-belief. as humanly possible. Tose who have not settled the question of Beyond the humanly possible we turn to our religion within their alcoholic haze fnd that they spiritual life as an everyday reality. Whether can frst focus on the simplicity of not picking up clothed in the oﬃcial structure of an established one drink one day at a time and of following the religion, or the method of moral living dictated by direction of the people who arrived before them. another sense of authority, we change our Tey may jump through the “religion” hoop approach to daily life to live on a spiritual basis. later, or they may not. Tey can still remain sober. A basic defnition of “spiritual” is given Even Atheists and Antitheists stay sober elsewhere, but it does no good to do the work of provided they recognize their sobriety as a Steps 1 through 9 if we do not proceed to live in consequence of a power greater than themselves. “a design for living that really works.” For some, this has been the fellowship of AA – Te articles in this section are intended to help the dozens of men and women they encounter you with your ongoing spiritual growth and not as who can do what the new person cannot do – stay an indoctrination into an “authorized” spirituality. sober! When AA began, its members were all It is the purpose of the following section to Christian. With the publication of the Big Book help expand your Recovery by exercising the steps and the change of wording to allow for “God as in your daily practice of spiritual growth and you understand God,” or “A Higher Power,” interaction with the people of this world. Recovery has expanded into every known religion and school of moral thought.

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SPOT CHECK INVENTORY

Am I... or Am I? Into self-pity Grateful for Blessings Resentful Forgiving Critical Accepting Suspicious Trusting Tactless and Disrespectful Loving and Understanding Narrow-Minded Open-Minded Avoiding People Comfortable with Others Envious Aware of My Own Worth Pessimistic Optimistic Procrastinating Prompt Prone to Gossip Respectful of Other’s Privacy Self-Centered Helpful to Others Impulsive and Self-Indulgent Self-Disciplined Selfsh Generous Self-Righteous and Intolerant Tolerant Domineering Considerate Arrogant Humble Impractical Realistic Self-Deceiving Honest with Myself Impatient Patient Stubborn Willing to Compromise Aimless and Indiﬀerent Purposeful Dishonest Truthful

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THE WORK

Step Twelve Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our aﬀairs.

Tere are three parts to the Twelfth Step: calls THE result. THE ONLY result. A spiritual awakening. BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT Your Mind is supposed to be focused in the Tere is a teaching story that applies here: Tenth Step. How are you behaving? Review your A young student visited a monk to ask the behavior as you go through your day. Do you owe questions that had come up during the process of an amends? Do you need to correct something learning. Te monk immediately offered a cup of before it winds up on a new Inventory? Did you tea. Te student held the cup and monk began to do something right? (You need to keep doing pour. Te cup began to fll and then went over the that.) brim, spilling out. Your Spirit is supposed to be focused in the “Stop!” the disciple yelled. “It’s going all over the Eleventh Step. Tis is not just time spent when foor!” rising and retiring, but all through the day Te monk stopped pouring and smiled. “How can working to keep your Spiritual Life expressed in I give you more tea if you do not give me an your daily behavior. Take moments for guidance empty cup?” and gratitude throughout your day. Carrying this message to other alcoholics, and Your Body should be on the front lines - to practice the principles of the frst Eleven Steps carrying the message to the alcoholic who still in all our affairs, are the Legacy of the process of suffers. Carrying your beliefs in the form of your the Steps to allow us to live a life of Recovery. It is actions to be of service to God (as you undestand offering an empty cup to receive what comes next. God) and others, not just alcoholics. As you live the result of the active cleaning of Tis means you have more action in the the past, reordering the present under the new practice of your Recovery. direction provided by the High Power of your own understanding, you build up a reservoir of • Do Service, to your Home Group and where hope, happiness and satisfaction at becoming a possible. responsible, adult member of your community. • Sponsor others - share what you have been Like the story of the monk giving his visitor a given. cup of tea, we cannot receive what comes next • Continue to build your Spiritual Life. until we give away what we have been given so far. • Having had a spiritual awakening as the result Te St. Francis Prayer says “Make me a of the frst eleven Steps. (An explanation can channel;”and a channel must have both an intake be found in Appendix II of the Big Book) Step and an outfow. If there is no input, the reservoir Twelve helps us stay focused on what the Step dries up. If there is no outfow, the reservoir becomes stagnant.

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But it is important that you understand that message of what all of us hope will be true in our you do not do Service because you are being nice own lives. – you do it to get what comes next! Tere is more. Tere is sharing of the message If you’ve had a Spiritual Awakening as the FROM the authors of the stories TO YOU! All result of taking the actions in Steps One through those stories in the back of all four editions of the Eleven, then you’re ready to carry our life-saving Big Book are past members carrying their message and life-changing message to others. TO YOU. When you cannot get out to a meeting Let’s concentrate on carrying this message to and feel you need one – let them share their other alcoholics as the basis of our discussion of message with you and read one of their stories. Step Twelve. From this point, you will do exactly the same Chapter Seven of the Big Book tells us exactly kind of mix of what we earlier said was the mix of how to make a “Twelve Step Call.” Here are some staying alive. Breathing. Pumping blood. Eating of the main points it describes. (I suggest you read food. Getting rid of wastes. Speaking with others. the chapter in its entirety and discuss its contents Listening to others. Doing what is in front of you with your Sponsor or other members of the for your job, your family, your spirit. group.) By working these Steps, on a daily basis: “Practical experience shows that nothing will so You will abstain from the substance that much insure immunity from drinking as intensive triggers your physical allergy. work with other alcoholics. It works when other You will be free of your mental obsession and activities fail. Tis is our twelfth suggestion: another downward spiral. Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their You will see where you have a chance to confdence when others fail.” Page 89 identify damage from your past life, share your discovery with your Sponsor and, possibly, other More promises are given in the next trusted members of the Fellowship. paragraph: You will take the actions you and your “Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness Sponsor agree will repair or make better the vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to situation you are dealing with. Sometimes the have a host of friends—this is an experience you correct action will be to keep your hands oﬀ the must not miss. We know you will not want to situation, sometimes it will be a change in you to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and avoid repeating the error, sometimes it will be with each other is the bright spot of our lives. making a direct amends, sometimes it will require Page 89 an indirect amends. Tere is more to read about doing a classic You will fnd new things that fll your life and Twelve Step Call. Read it so you know what to do your time, whether it is a return to family, or when you have the chance to make one. living with the full consequences of past actions. You will fnd people with whom to share new Step Twelve - the part about carrying the interests. You will make time to refect on your message - is not only the focus of this Chapter, it actions, pray and meditate to maintain your is the focus of the rest of the book! emotional sobriety. You will fnd that you have Te last chapter of the front of the book, “A something to share with someone newer than Vision for You,” talks about what we hope every yourself – possibly as a Sponsor, possibly as being newcomer will experience, but it is also the a good friend.

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You will become a man among men, a worker old life of isolaton and grief, we have the chance among workers, a member of your immediate to be “happy, joyous and free.” society and your larger world who can be a man of Sometimes we become all three – happy, his word. You may get to the point where joyous and free – at the same time. Sometimes we someone who doesn’t know your story, never has have tragedies that happen in our life that can to calculate ”but he’s an alcoholic, he’s an addict” damage a sense of joy or happiness. Such trials are in their dealings with you. not restricted to people in Recovery. Everyone has You will fnd yourself, possibly for the frst crises and challenges in their life, but if we time. surrender to despair and indulgent wallowing in You will see where the dozens of promises in those difficult emotions we risk losing the the Big Book are coming true for you. foundation of our new life. You will understand the word serenity, and During these times we must accept what is you will know peace. true and use our fellowship, Prayer and Meditation to get through the bad times. Being Te Tenth Step is the practice of Steps 1 through 9, as needed. You will review your honest about how we feel during difficulties, and behavior, hopefully correct it before you have a applying the tools we have been given to live a new amends to make. new life carries our message to others. Our life becomes an example of the application of the Te Eleventh Step is maintenance of your princples. source, your guidance, your Higher Power as you understand that Higher Power. We encourage Our actions carry our message better than our you to schedule your week to allow for a minimal, words – how we carry ourselves, how we keep our formal contact with that Higher Power daily - or word, how we do what is expected of a more frequently: every morning before you get out non-alcoholic in the same position. of bed, or while brushing your teeth, or sitting Service is the most common form of ‘carrying with your breakfast; every evening before retiring, the message’. Carrying the message is the purpose reviewing the day and setting goals for the day to of service and can mean speaking at a meeting, come. talking with one other person, or quietly doing Te Twelfth Step tells you what actions you the service work that makes meetings possible. will need to take to carry the message - to share Setting out chairs, making coffee, greeting people your own story and Recovery, and to help those at the door when they arrive, sharing in meetings, around you. Sponsoring and being Sponsored are all forms of service. Living in the Twelfth Step Taking a service position within one’s local Tere is only one result of working the Twevle fellowship is a more formal kind of service. Tis Steps – the Spiritual Awakening. We are charged can be as a Secretary, Treasurer, or Literature to “carry this message” and to “practice these person within the meeting, or as a representative principles in all our affairs.” to our local service committee, Intergroup, district It becomes necessary to understand exactly or area serviceboards. It is suggested we not hold what these terms mean to you. any one position for more than two years – leave Te “Spiritual Awakening” is not about room to allow new people a chance to do the same adhering to defnitions or limits outside your own service. life, but it is about creating a new foundation of Service can be personal – sharing our the new life where you actually belong. Unlike the experience, strength and hope, one on one. Tis can mean actually being a Sponsor, but it can also

– 128 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition mean talking with a newcomer or a member of have an answer they need, we must be honest and the Program who simply needs to take the risk of say ‘I don’t know’, then ofter to help them fnd sharing honestly and being heard. Te person who someone who has the experience they need.Tis needs to talk with us may not be a newcomer, but simple form of Service may be the strongest in someone with considerable time in the program reaching and being a real beneft to the person we who has entered a situation that is bothering are trying to help. them. Service does not just mean within the Above all , when we talk with someone, we structure of the meeting and fellowship. We can must make an eﬀort to actually listen. We do not also do service in the larger society of our simply wait for them to stop talking so we get to community, with our neighbors, and other public say something - consider what they have said and groups in need of our time and talents. share only from our own experience. If we do not

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AA Traditions

Te Traditions module is, as are all subjects in that these people frst gathered to use this process this syllabus, a presentation of a single position on to get and remain sober. the meaning and application of the Traditions. As Te Traditions began as a series of articles such subjective material requires, the reader may published in Te Grapevine, the AA ‘meeting-in- accept or reject such portions as he or she feels is print,’ during the frst decade or so of AA appropriate for their intended use. meetings, frst within the Oxford Group and later Tere are few things that prove true of as an independent entity. Bill Wilson, the author alcoholics, but it can be said that they do not like of those articles, drew heavily from the volume of being told what to do. correspondence maintained with groups around Te Traditions were not an attempt to tell the world and individuals involved in the sudden AAs what to do, or even set the standard for AA growth of the AA Program. groups. Te Traditions were a result of errors After the Saturday Evening Post article in made in groups and by individuals that resulted in 1941, the membership exploded from a few the loss of early groups, and the loss of an hundred to several thousand, guided by the book, unknown number of alcoholics who were driven Alcoholics Anonymous. In that explosion, groups away by those mistakes. began to raise the number of qualifcations for When the meetings were limited to the membership, which kept people away. Alcoholics original two, Akron, OH and New York, the who otherwise might have stayed to hear the problems addressed by the two primary founders message, and might have worked the Steps to stay and their fellowships were frequently discussed sober left the meetings. between the groups before any alcoholics were Tese new requirements were not to assure made to create a formal standard. “the right kind of alcoholic” would join, but they Te original meetings changed. At frst they were written as the result of fears – personal fears required a medical detox and working the and cultural fears of the time. equivalent of the frst six steps before attending Te lack of understanding of a healthy meetings. When that standard was dropped, the fellowship led to a number of impressive blunders fellowship continued to grow. in meeting-building. One meeting in the 1940s Te need for a personal connection to served beer at their meetings. Te meeting quickly someone in the Oxford Group was never a formal vanished and a new AA group did not form for requirement, but it was the only entry for the frst several years. Even in recent news, an AA group two groups. Clarence Snyder’s group, which was was accused of the systematic sexual abuse that unaﬃliated with the Oxford Group, eliminated they touted as being part of the program. that requirement. Clearly, such acts are not part of the AA Te membership limitation to upper class, program, but the newcomer has no way of white males was never formal, but the reality was knowing this.

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To this day, there are groups who do not Te fellowship continues to be a resource for subscribe to the Traditions and the Traditions are us as we face new situations in the new life, and not required to form an AA meeting. where we meet the newcomers to whom we “give Te purpose of this discussion is to explore the it away.” It is the “giving it away” that makes intent and application of the principles contained room for our next lesson and next revelation. in the Traditions. Tis almost never means sacrifcing what we Te Twelve Traditions are copyrighted by the know to be true , but exercising the “restraint of central office for Alcoholics Anonymous. Tis tongue and pen” that tends to divide our article is based on the “Long Form” of each fellowship into factions, hurt feelings, or drives Tradition, which may not be as familiar as the wedges between those who would otherwise be Traditions read in most meetings. part of our sobriety. We may never learn to like everyone in the “Our AA experience has taught us that: ” meeting. Tere will be people you encounter in FIRST TRADITION meetings that will test your ability to accept to its Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a limit. But we are required to love them as small part of a great whole. AA must continue to expressions of our new trust in a Higher Power live or most of us will surely die. Hence our and our level of acceptance. common welfare comes frst. But individual welfare follows close afterward. SECOND TRADITION Without the fellowship, the history of alcoholism For our group purpose there is but one ultimate tells us long and tragic stories of individuals who authority-a loving God as He may express have tried to remove alcohol and its effects from Himself in our group conscience. their lives, and failed. Here and there people Related to the First Tradition, the Second has succeeded and their stories were notable by the us put our authority into the combined personal rarity. Higher Power expressed through the members of Founded by the strictly Christian Oxford the Group and the Fellowship, and not in the Group members, Alcoholics Anonymous made loudest voice, the strongest passion, or the the concept of “willing submision” the foundation entrenched authority of a deluded Bleeding of the Twelve Step Program. Deacon. Tis means that despite an individual’s Tere is a desire to make that trust in our religious or political beliefs, personal opinions of Higher Power about other people’s refusal to individuals or movements within the Program, submit to group conscience, or drive to get others our united stance of Recovery as our common to see the right way. But that direction is for us to binding agent. keep our hands off the results of the Group Whatever stands we take on public issues, we Conscience – it is about our restraint of tongue accept the common focus that requires AA be and pen. there when we need it and if we do not stand Groups can become ill, as can individuals. Te together we will eventually die drunk or high, Group that does not correct its behavior may often cold and alone. cease to exist. Te group that changes according We “carry this message” to insure our own to whim, fashion, or some passing concept of Recovery and to make Recovery possible to political correctness may also risk ceasing to exist. others. Group Inventory is suggested by World “We” succed where “I” have failed. Service to keep each Group active as a refection of its membership and the need that group serves.

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THIRD TRADITION MEMBERSHIP AGREEMENT Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought AA membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. Te Tird Tradition was the most protective of all AA’s service legacies. Te single requirement of having the desire to stop drinking does not exclude desire for Recovery from other problems, but identifes the qualifcation of that individual for the very reason the AA group is gathered. Tis means you may be an alcoholic, AND an addict, AND a compulsive gambler, AND an over-eater, AND a sexual compulsive, AND have any number of other problems. Many of these problems are addressed with other 12-Step programs where the membership shares those specifc problems, but a “singleness of purpose” is inclusive. But the requirement to be in an AA meeting is the desire to stop drinking. Beyond that, it is about their willingness to perform the work outlined in the Twelve Steps to fnd and maintain sobriety. Te Big Book is often misunderstood as saying that ONLY an alcoholic can be in the Proposed Application from early AA Group meetings. A member is not even required to identify as anything, other than by local custom. Te only question of identity is whether or not he or she identifes with the reason for this AA meeting’s existence; to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers, and that he or she satisfes the only requirement for membership - to have the desire to stop drinking. Any additional qualifcation is an outside issue for the group, but may be vital to one’s own Recovery process.

Here are two examples of attempts to control membership prior to adopting the Tird Tradition

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BANNED FROM AA In an eﬀort to enforce their own vision of AA, some early groups wrote oﬃcial letters of expulsion from the fellowship, as shown in this example:

December 5, 1941

From The Executive Committee of the Los Angeles Group of Alcoholics Anonymous

Dear Mrs. Irma Lavone,

At a meeting of the Executive Committee of the Los Angeles Group of Alcoholics Anonymous held December 4, 1941, it was decided that your attendance at group meetings was no longer desired until certain explanations and plans for the future were made to the satisfaction of this Committee. This action has been taken for reasons which should be most apparent to yourself.

It was decided that, should you so desire, you may appear before members Committee and state your attitude. This opportunity may be afforded you between of this now and December 15, 1941.

You may communicate with us at the above address by that date. In case you do not wish to appear, we shall consider the matter closed and that your membership is terminated.

Source: Wally P.

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FOURTH TRADITION But such changes may serve their Group’s needs With respect to its own aﬀairs, each AA group in Recovery. should be responsible to no other authority than its In many respects, relationships between own conscience. But when its plans concern the Groups are entirely optional and usually welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional considered an “Outside Issue” as explained in the committee, or individual should ever take any Tenth Tradition. Tat Group A passes the action that might greatly aﬀect AA as a whole Seventh Tradition at the beginning of the without conferring with the Trustees of the meeting, and Group B passes the Seventh General Service Board. On such issues our Tradition basket at the end of the meeting, is not common welfare is paramount. the concern of the other meeting.

Independence of the individual groups has FIFTH TRADITION been hailed as a march of immature anarchy, but Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a the truth has been new meeting formats have spiritual entity having but one primary evolved to suit the needs of particular fellowships. purpose-that of carrying its message to the A group that creates conditions or a format that alcoholic who still suffers. others fnd unacceptable will either Groups become entrenched in their own a) prove their value as they fnd support, or glory, particularly when members have remained b) fade away as the new meeting succeeds or fails, sober for many years. Tere is a real danger that according to its value to its local community. members of a group may set themselves up as the Troughout the country, people open judges of all things good for local and meetings with different readings, or with no international AA. readings. Tey announce their name and that they It is never the purpose of an AA group to are alcoholic, or make no identifcation at all. prove their superiority or ranking over other Tey have book readings, speaker meetings, groups. Te Fifth Tradition keeps the focus on writing meetings, discussion-only meetings (men the ability of the group, by whatever composition only, women only, gay only, lawyer only, teacher or format, to serve the alcoholic who still suffers. only), and special meetings put on as classes or “Te alcoholic who still suffers” does not mean workshops for the local fellowship. only newcomers, although newcomers are usually Every group has someone move into their area in the most identifable distress. Members with from another region where things are done long term sobriety face new problems in life and differently, who tries to make people “do it right!” may need the combined experience, strength, and Every meeting is free to form and format as it hope of their group to face the new problem. sees ft, provided it does not affect another group Someone with a few months of sobriety may or the overall structure of AA. Tis means it is a blossom with new fears that had been kept asleep courtesy for a meeting starting on a night where by drunkenness and now need their group to get another meeting already exists to let that group them into the next Step or the next exercise of know of its intent so the frst meeting is Principles. acknowledged. But neither group can claim any Te newcomer is always the frst thought with authority to approve or disapprove the other this Tradition. Does the Group carry the message meeting. of Recovery to that newcomer? Is the meeting set Meetings are free to change the readings from up and open at the time promised? Is there a AA, but cannot claim that their revised materials personal ‘hello’ for the new man or woman represent AA as a whole – it is simply not true.

– 134 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition walking or rolling through the door for the frst funds, or public statements to or from such time? outside groups. Te name AA should not be Are they confdent that the newcomer will linked in any public or business sense with any fnd that meeting there the next time? outside organization, no matter how attractive or Some Groups further carry the message to benefcial it may seem at the moment. treatment centers, hospitals, or the homes or AA has learned to function on a principle hospital rooms of alcoholics who cannot attend. known to Native Americans for many years – “It Such outreach is up to a Group Conscience, as must be good for seven generations.” Tis means expressed in Tradition Four. what seems benefcial or attractive at the moment may become a liability that will cause unity of the SIXTH TRADITION fellowship to suffer, and may cause groups or areas Problems of money, property, and authority may to lose their ability to serve the alcoholics who still easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. suffer. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to AA should be separately SEVENTH TRADITION incorporated and managed, thus dividing the Te AA groups themselves ought to be fully material from the spiritual. An AA group, as such, supported by the voluntary contributions of their should never go into business. Secondary aids to own members. We think that each group should AA, such as clubs or hospitals which require much soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation property or administration, ought to be of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance such facilities ought not to use the AA name. Teir of large gifts from any source, or of contributions management should be the sole responsibility of carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. those people who fnancially support them. For Ten too, we view with much concern those AA clubs, AA managers are usually preferred. But treasuries which continue, beyond prudent hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated AA ought to be well outside AA-and medically purpose. Experience has often warned us that supervised. While an AA group may cooperate nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so as futile disputes over property, money, and far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or authority. implied. An AA group can bind itself to no one. Accepting money from outside organizations Alcoholics are notorious for being opens the door to have to conform to the donor’s power-grabbing Egotists. Te purpose of the requirements to get the next donation. While Sixth Tradition is to avoid the perils of position, many sources may claim non-involvement and a notoriety, or other benefts from association with lack of requirements for the money, it creates an an outside group. open door for a donor who has made such a Linked directly to the non-affiliation of contribution to dictate that only certain people, a Tradition Eight, the Sixth Tradition prevents the certain class of person, a certain race, a certain threats of money, property, or prestige that have religious group, political affiliation, or class, be caused other public beneft concerns to vanish reached with the contributor’s money. over the years. Independence from outside support, to be We are not an organization in the traditional self-supporting, is required for the adult sense. We have a policy of cooperation with responsibility of any individual attempting to outside organizations that must never take the achieve a mature, healthy sobriety. Te collection form of an “endorsement” by name, material, of alcoholics in their search for this same kind of – 135 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition healthy responsibility can only beneft from the Despite the spiritual nature of the Program, it same responsibility for their group’s fnancial is not appropriate to suddenly expect loggers to health. cut down trees to make paper for AA literature as a free service to the Fellowship, nor can we expect EIGHTH TRADITION buildings to be built with contributed electricity Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever for local meetings. non-professional. We defne professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. Te Eighth Tradition protects from the same But we may employ alcoholics where they are big-shotism that is the focus of Tradition Six, going to perform those services for which we may while acknowledging the real fnancial costs of otherwise have to engage non-alcoholics. Such providing our services. special services may be well recompensed. But our usual AA "Twelfth Step" work is never to be paid NINTH TRADITION for. Each AA group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. Te When AA grew from a few hundred people to small group may elect its Secretary, the large several thousand in the weeks after the appearance group its Rotating Committee, and the groups of of the Saturday Evening Post article by Jack a large Metropolitan area their Central or Alexander, it became clear that someone had to Intergroup Committee, which often employs a answer the mail, answer the phones, and perform full-time Secretary. Te trustees of the General the unglamorous work of responding. Service Board are, in effect, our AA General As with other changes in AA, it was a huge Service Committee. Tey are the custodians of our controversy as to whether someone being paid for AA Tradition and the receivers of voluntary AA secretarial work was performing a Twelfth Step contributions by which we maintain our AA General Service Office in New York. Tey are job, which should never be subject to a paycheck. authorized by the groups to handle our over-all Bill Wilson explains the principle of public relations and they guarantee the integrity responsible services in his chapter on the Eighth of our principle newspaper, "Te AA Grapevine." Tradition in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, All such representatives are to be guided in the but confrmed that no one should ever be paid for spirit of service, for true leaders in AA are but Twelfth Step Work. But it was also a violation of trusted and experienced servants of the whole. the Seventh Tradition to expect someone to do Tey derive no real authority from their titles; non-Twelfth Step work for free. they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness. “Our own contributions” slowly began to mean paying for the phone bill for an AA phone, Many AA groups have a regular Home Group the box rent for an AA mailing address, or (when meeting where group issues are decided, but some local meetings need a physical location for local have chosen to create a committee to conduct the services) rent for a reasonable local office. group’s business. Te decision to handle Speakers for AA are not to be paid for their operational issues this way is up to the Group. talk, but it is reasonable to provide for But such a committee is not vested with transportation costs and, when needed, a local permanent authority. Te Group needs to be able sleeping spot. If the speaker travelled to that city, to create, or dissolve, such service bodies, as the gas, rail, or airfare would still apply. If the needed. local community cannot host the speaker in a A few groups in an area may want to host a member’s home, it may be appropriate for the Round-Up, a Conference, or an Assembly, and local group to provide a motel room. create a committee to carry out their issues and do the work. Tey may even vote to continue the

– 136 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition committee from year to year, as needed. Such frequently express them at the top of their lungs, committees need to refect the groups they serve sometimes even in meetings. in an open, accessible, and democratic manner. As a Fellowship, in the name of Unity (First Groups in an area may choose to create an Tradition), Service (Twelfth Step, Fifth Intergroup with representatives from member Tradition), and Recovery (the sum goal of all of groups to carry out services for the local the Steps and Traditions), we remove outside fellowships. As I write, a local Intergroup provides issues from our interior discussions. a depository where groups can go to buy books, Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on literature, current meeting guides (which the political issues. Members have lots of opinions on Intergroup edits and publishes), and outside items political issues. like bumper stickers, anniversary chips, posters, Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on and other items the local Intergroup has approved religious issues. Members have lots of opinions on for sale. Like individual meetings, service boards religious issues. are not the authority of groups outside their service area and need not be approved by anyone Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on other than the groups they serve. social issues or private therapies. Members have lots of opinions on social issues and private It should also be said that opinions on the therapies. right and wrong way to carry out services abound, and anyone on the losing side of a vote is free to We want the newcomer to fnd a meeting that express their opinion and displeasure. is united on Recovery, not divided by politics, religion, controversy, or a self-righteousness that But the Second Tradition remains our prevents the members from carrying the message. authority, as expressed in the group conscience. Dissenting opinions are invited and may win a AA must protect its primary purpose (Fifth later vote. Tradition) by keeping the meetings open and inviting to the newcomer. None of us want to be TENTH TRADITION responsible for the newcomer leaving his or her No AA group or member should ever, in such a frst meeting feeling unwelcome because there was way as to implicate AA, express any opinion on an argument over an outside issue, particularly if it outside controversial issues-particularly those of makes them believe they are on the wrong side of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. Te the issue for AA. Outside issues can include Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. politics, religion, substances other than alcohol, Concerning such matters they can express no behaviors, or psychological theories. views whatever. Having no opinion prevents AA from being An earlier fellowship, the Washingtonian on the right side or the wrong side of outside Temperance Society failed to fnd the common issues. Members always have the freedom to focus we have for groups and, as a result, discuss such issues among themselves and outside competed with each other for members, took the framework of the Meeting. public positions on public issues, took both sides of public arguments in very public disagreements, ELEVENTH TRADITION and managed to be lost to history because of Our relations with the general public should be massive disunity. characterized by personal anonymity. We think Alcoholics Anonymous does not have AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be opinions on public issues. Members of Alcoholics broadcast, flmed, or publicly printed. Our public Anonymous have lots of opinions and will relations should be guided by the principle of

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attraction rather than promotion. Tere is never TWELFTH TRADITION need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our And fnally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous friends recommend us. believe that the principle of Anonymity has an Anonymity of the membership does not mean immense spiritual signifcance. It reminds us that no one ever knows about AA. Te neighbors we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine Humility. knew you were drunk; they probably noticed you Tis to the end that our great blessings may never aren’t drunk now. Tey may suspect why. Your spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful family probably knows what you are doing. You contemplation of Him who presides over us all. may have an abundance of gratitude for the Program and AA. Anonymity was originally intended to protect members from the public stigma of alcoholism, But this does not give permission to make but proved to be a powerful tool that allowed public pronouncements on behalf of AA, hoping newcomers to enter the program, even if they did to get others into AA, or to build up the not give their right name when they entered the membership of any group. doors. Anonymity was seen as a way to take away Avoiding promotion and campaigning for the markers of social position, legal standing, or membership means the responsibility for the background. Tey became “an alcoholic in attraction of AA remains with the result of the Recovery,” rather that Name / Occupation / group’s actions (the Steps and Recovery) and not Address / Bank Balance / Connections who is an clever campaigns or slogans. Tis does not mean alcoholic. you will not see public service announcements on In the early years, local and national celebrities television, or hear them on the radio. Tose achieved sobriety and revealed their membership services let people know that AA exists and is in AA, only to get drunk again to give the available if they want to seek out help. message “AA didn’t work for XX, so it probably Non-promotion does not eliminate a policy of won’t work for you...” Te most notable case was “cooperation with the professional community.” Rolle H., a national baseball star who achieved Tis means that the local service boards can highly publicized sobriety, and drank again. provide information to requests from groups of Anonymity became a defense for the alcoholic educational, religious, medical, legal, or public to clear away distractions to achieve sobriety and service groups. It also means a phone number is to protect the fellowship from the actions of a available in most AA communities for more single person to taint the public perception of that information about local AA meetings. person representing AA.

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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AA ‘TRADITION’ Many people repeat “Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here” as their understanding of anonymity. It is better used as a statement of confdentiality. But the words are not from AA. Tey came from signs placed outside war plants in World War II to keep workers from speaking of the sensitive jobs they were doing.

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Sponsorship

People who are starting to help others through the steps must frst look at how their Sponsor sponsored them. But a basic truism of Recovery is that we can always do better. Tis is a collection of information for the Sponsor for improving his or her value to the Sponsee.

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AKRON SERVICE COMMITTEE 1944

Sponsorship by Clarence Snyder, 1944 Tis is slightly edited from the frst pamphlet ever written concerning Sponsorship. It was written by Clarence H. Snyder in early 1944. Its original title was to be “AA ... Its Obligations and Its Responsibilities.” It was printed by the Cleveland Central Committee under the title:"AA ... Its Opportunities and Its Responsibilities." Te masculine form is used throughout for simplicity, although it is intended to include women as well. Te guide was written for the original concept of the 12-Step Call, where the recovering members would accept the invitation of the family or prospective member or seek out those with drinking problems from local doctors (before HIPPA prevented revealing anything about a patient’s medical condition). Many of the points still apply to talking with the likely candidate through whatever source they may be contacted.

Young Clarence Snyder

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PREFACE SOURCE OF NAMES Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is a Most people have among their own friends and potential Sponsor of a new member and should acquaintances someone who would beneft from clearly recognize the obligations and duties of such our teachings. Others have names given to them by responsibility. their church, by their doctor, by their employer, or Te acceptance of an opportunity to take the AA by some other member, who cannot make a direct plan to a sufferer of alcoholism entails very real and contact. critically important responsibilities. Each member, Because of the wide range of the AA activities, undertaking the Sponsorship of a fellow alcoholic, the names often come from unusual and must remember that he is offering what is unexpected places. frequently the last chance for rehabilitation, sanity, Tese cases should be contacted as soon as all or maybe life itself. facts such as: marital status, domestic relations, Happiness, Health, Security, Sanity, and Life fnancial status, drink habits, employment status, are the things we hold in the balance when we and others readily obtainable, are at hand. Sponsor an alcoholic. No member among us is wise enough to develop IS THE PROSPECT A CANDIDATE? a program that can be successfully applied in every Much time and effort can be saved by case. However, in the following pages, we have learning as soon as possible if: outlined a suggested procedure, which 1. Te man really has a drinking problem; supplemented by the member's own experience, has 2. Te man knows he has a problem; proven successful. 3. Te man wants to do something about his PERSONAL GAINS OF BEING A SPONSOR drinking; No one reaps the full benefts from any 4. Te man wants help. fellowship he is connected with unless he Sometimes the answers to these questions wholeheartedly engages in its important activities. cannot be made until the prospect has had some Te expansion of Alcoholics Anonymous to wider AA instruction and an opportunity to think. Often felds of greater beneft to more people results we are given names, which upon investigation, directly from the addition of new, worthwhile show the prospect is in no sense an alcoholic or is members or associates. satisfed with his present plan of living. We should Any AA who has not experienced the joys and not hesitate to drop these names from our lists. satisfaction of helping another alcoholic regain his However, be sure to let the man know where he place in life has not yet fully realized the complete can reach us at a later date. benefts of this fellowship. On the other hand, it must be clearly kept in WHO SHOULD BECOME MEMBERS? mind that the only possible reason for bringing an AA is a fellowship of men and women bound alcoholic into AA is for that person's gain. together by their inability to use alcohol in any Sponsorship should never be undertaken: form sensibly, or with proft or pleasure. Obviously, 1. To increase the size of the group any new members introduced should be the same kind of people, suffering from the same disease. 2. For personal satisfaction and glory Most people can drink reasonably, but we are 3. Because the Sponsor feels it his duty to only interested in those who cannot. Party drinkers, remake the world social drinkers, celebrators, and others who Until an individual has assumed the continue to have more pleasure than pain from responsibility of setting a shaking, helpless human their drinking, are of no interest to us. being back on the path toward becoming a healthy, In some instances, an individual might believe useful member of society, he has not enjoyed the himself to be a social drinker when he defnitely is complete thrill of being an AA. an alcoholic. In many such cases, more time must pass before that person is ready to accept our

– 142 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition program. Rushing such a man before he is ready It is important in telling the story of your might ruin his chances of ever becoming a drinking life to tell it in a manner that will describe successful AA. Do not ever deny future help by an alcoholic, rather than a series of humorous pushing too hard in the beginning. drunken parties. Tis will enable the man to get a Some people, although defnitely alcoholic, have clear picture of an alcoholic, which should help him no desire or ambition to better their way of living, to more defnitively decide whether or not he is an and until they do, AA has nothing to offer them. alcoholic. Experience has shown that age, intelligence, education, background, or the amount of liquor INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN AA In many instances, the prospect will have tried drunk, has little, if any, bearing on whether or not various means of controlling his drinking, including the person is an alcoholic. hobbies, church, changes of residence, change of PRESENTING THE PLAN associations, and various control plans. Tese will, In many cases, a man's physical condition is such of course, have been unsuccessful. Point out your that he should be placed in a hospital, if at all series of unsuccessful efforts to control drinking, possible. Many AA members believe their absolute fruitless results; and yet, you were hospitalization, with ample time for the prospect to able to stop drinking through the application of think and plan his future, free from domestic and AA principles. Tis will encourage the prospect to business worries, offers a distinct advantage. In look forward, with confdence, to sobriety in AA in many cases, the hospitalization period marks the spite of the many past failures he might have had beginning of a new life. Other members are equally with other plans. confdent that any man who desires to learn the AA plan for living can do it in his own home or TALK ABOUT “PLUS” VALUES Tell the prospect frankly that he cannot quickly while engaged in normal occupation. Tousands of understand all the benefts that are coming to him cases are treated in such a manner and have proved through AA. Tell him of the happiness, peace of satisfactory. mind, health, and in many cases, material benefts SUGGESTED STEPS that are possible through understanding and Te following paragraphs outline a suggested application of the AA way of life. procedure for presenting the AA plan to the SHOW IMPORTANCE OF READING OUR prospect, at home or in the hospital. BOOK QUALIFY AS AN ALCOHOLIC Explain the necessity of reading and rereading In calling upon a new prospect, it has been the AA book. Point out that this book gives a found best to qualify oneself as an ordinary person detailed description of the AA tools, and the who has found happiness, contentment, and peace suggested methods of using these tools to build a of mind through AA. foundation of rehabilitation for living. Tis is a Immediately make it clear to the prospect that good time to emphasize the importance of the you are a person engaged in the routine business of twelve steps and the four absolutes. earning a living. Tell him your only reason for QUALITIES REQUIRED FOR SUCCESS IN AA believing yourself able to help him is because you, Convey to the prospect that the objectives of yourself, are an alcoholic and have had experiences AA are to provide the ways and means for an and problems that might be similar to his. alcoholic to regain his normal place in life. Desire, TELL YOUR STORY patience, faith, study, and application are most Many members have found it desirable to launch important in determining each individual's plan of immediately into their personal drinking story as a action in gaining the full benefts of AA. means of getting the confdence and wholehearted cooperation of the prospect.

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INTRODUCE FAITH prospect (mother, father, wife, etc.) are fully Since the belief of a Power greater than oneself informed of AA, its principles and its objectives. is the heart of the AA plan, and since this idea is Te Sponsor sees that these people are invited to often very difficult for a new man, the Sponsor meetings and keeps them in touch with the current should attempt to introduce the beginnings of an situation regarding the prospect at all times. understanding of this all-important feature. Frequently, this can be done by the Sponsor ANTICIPATE HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE7 relating his own difficulty in grasping a spiritual A prospect will gain more beneft from a understanding and the methods he used to hospitalization period if the Sponsor describes the overcome his difficulties. experience and helps him anticipate it, paving the way for those members who will call on him. LISTEN TO HIS STORY While talking to the newcomer, take time to CONSULT OLDER MEMBERS IN AA listen and study his reactions in order that you can Tese suggestions for Sponsoring a new man in present your information in a more effective AA teachings are by no means complete. Tey are manner. Let him talk too. Remember – Easy Does intended only for a framework and general guide. It. Each individual case is different and should be treated as such. Additional information for TAKE TO SEVERAL MEETINGS Sponsoring a new man can be obtained from the To give the new member a broad and complete experience of older men in the work. A co-Sponsor, picture of AA, the Sponsor should take him to with an experienced and newer member working on various meetings within a convenient distance of a prospect, has proven very satisfactory. his home. Attending several meetings gives the new Before undertaking the responsibility of man a chance to select a group in which he will be Sponsoring, a member should make certain that he most happy and comfortable. It is extremely is able and prepared to give the time, effort, and important to let the prospect make his own thought such an obligation entails. It might be that decision as to which group he will join. Impress he will want to select a co-Sponsor to share the upon him that he is always welcome at any meeting responsibility, or he might feel it necessary to ask and can change his home group if he so wishes. another to assume the responsibility for the man he has located. EXPLAIN AA TO PROSPECT’S FAMILY - Clarence H. Snyder A successful Sponsor takes pains and makes any required effort to make certain that those people closest and with the greatest interest in their

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A Sponsor – BE A GOOD ONE!8

7 In early AA you were not allowed to start ‘Te Program’ unless you had gong gone through a recognized hospital detoxifcation Te frst time someone simply showed up to get and stay sober, it resulting resulted in a major controversy within the fellowship. 8 Tere has been one change in this article from its original appearance; it was originally presented within a “Christian-only” context. Tis has been modifed to conform with the “God as you understand himHim” now used in A.A.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.ORG

Zen and the Art of Sponsorship “God, Make me a Channel of Ty Peace...” -- St. Francis Prayer

To be a channel is to allow what is being and about me, and teach me.” channeled to fow through. If it is water, it must ESSENTIAL include input and outfow. In Sponsorship, it Sponsorship is a concept of one member of must provide the principles as received into your the Program helping another member of the life through your Sponsor, your experience within Program through the process of the Steps and the Program, and carrying that message to those applying those Steps and principles into their you would Sponsor. daily life. HOW TO NOT KNOW Sponsorship requires the ability to see the Te most diﬃcult answer for any alcoholic is Now and use the Program to help the Sponsee “I don’t know,” but it is “not knowing” that opens (sometimes called “pigeon,” “baby,” “cookie,” or the possibility of learning. Even the answer that “protégé”) to move through the Recovery process was perfect yesterday may not be the right answer using the Twelve Steps. for today. ESSENTIAL IMPROVISATION Your Sponsee will learn more about truth if Improvisation is a specifc way of approaching you say “I don’t know, let’s fnd someone with theater, based on the book “Improvisation for the experience with that,” and together you seek the Teatre” by Viola Spolin. Today, improvisation is answer with your Sponsee. If you search together best known through improv comedy, such as Te through the tools available to you - through Second City. Prayer, literature, the fellowship, and professional sources - your Sponsee will learn how to fnd an Te essence of improvisation is always to answer by experience and improvisation. support – never deny -- what came before. Tere is no “one size fts all” philosophy and there are To “not know” is to agree to be a student and countless ways to successfully carry the message to makes it possible for you and your Sponsee to your Sponsee. learn from your Higher Power. An attitude of improvisation will allow you to “Not knowing” how to live without a drink take whatever progress the Sponsee makes with brought you to your Recovery. Recognition of the Steps and application of those Steps to his/her your own limits and the willingness to fnd the life as a way to learn the lesson, and then move on new answer will improve your own Recovery and and move forward. that of your Sponsee. Some groups and Sponsors use “Rev. ESSENTIAL ZEN Mychal’s Prayer” Zen is defned by the Free Online Dictionary as “Buddhist doctrine that enlightenment can be “God, take away everything attained through direct intuitive insight.” Zen is I think I know about you not a religion. Zen is an approach based on

– 145 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition recognition of the moment, the immediate Te combination of Sponsorship, Zen, and moment, the “Now.” improvisation allows the Sponsor to listen to the Sponsorship is the challenge of matching the Sponsee, to respond in a way that includes the experience of the Sponsor with the situation of “yes, and...” of improv, and direct the Sponsee the Sponsee. Zen requires that you be focused on toward taking new action to correct his negative the Now, the Sponsee’s actions, and the tools of actions by using the available tools of meetings, the Program, to eliminate the actions that created fellowship, Prayer, literature, and phone - the current situation, clean up the baggage of the whatever suits the moment. past which interferes with life in the Now, and OVER-PREPARE taking the action required for the personal change Get into your Program as never before. You Recovery demands. will be amazed at how the themes you fnd in Improvisation requires the Sponsor be armed reading, listening to speakers, attending with information and a wide variety of specifc discussion meetings, and conversations you have examples and answers that address the need of the with other people in the Program will tie into the Now. In the Big Book, it says “obviously you can’t obstacles and questions in the “Now” of your carry something you haven’t got,” so it is Sponsee and yourself. necessary that the Sponsor become saturated in a variety of material in addition to the Sponsor’s own experience.

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DALLAS B., PACIFIC GROUP, MAR VISTA, CA

Clancy’s Seven Questions

Several years ago, Clancy I., was explaining to I have been using these “Seven Questions” me that guilt, resentment, fear, feelings of with the people that I sponsor ever since Clancy personal inadequacy and loneliness were the fve shared them with me. areas that seem to cause the most serious I’ve discovered that they are very eﬀective problems for people in recovery. when dealing with rock-bottom newcomers and He shared with me seven questions that he with the high-bottom intellectual types. I have uses to help a person start writing and he also used them numerous times in helping emphasized that the questions and the writing are old-timers who were struggling through a diﬃcult not intended to replace AA’s Fourth Step, they period. just help the person get started. I never give the newcomer the questions Most of the people who approach Clancy or without also setting a time for them to complete who are referred to him, are very hardcore cases their writing. Normally, I’ll give them the who have tried numerous times and approaches to questions and expect them to be fnished with solve their problems. their writing by the next day, and I’ll have them Here are the Seven Questions: call me so that we can get together and discuss 1. In looking back over your life – what their answers and apply the solution to their memories are still painful, guilty, dirty? problems. 2. In what ways do you consider yourself an If the newcomer procrastinates and doesn’t inadequate person? meet the deadline for the questions, I usually consider that they are not yet serious enough to 3. Who do you resent – and why? Be specifc. approach their problem and I move on to help 4. What do you conceive to be your defects of someone else. character – as you see them today? I pass them on to you with the hope that they 5. What is the nature of the ongoing problems will help you in helping others as much as they you have with people close to you – in have helped me. human relations – what seems to always happen when you have these things that Dallas B. blow up? P.S. Tank you Clancy for all of your help, and for the 6. In what way do you believe that AA can structure, responsible behavior and discipline that you've help you with any of these problems? taught me, and for all that you do for Alcoholics 7. In what way do you believe that AA can Anonymous! My life would not be so good without you! begin to change things?

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ANONYMOUSREVIEW.ORG

To New Sponsors

So, someone has asked you to be their A Sponsor shares basic information in the Big Sponsor. What do you do? Book, most often by sitting with the Sponsee and First, remember you cannot carry something going through the frst 181 pages out loud, you haven’t got. Do you have a Sponsor? Your defning the words and concepts to make the ability to share with a new prospect is limited to Sponsee aware of the tools being laid at his feet. your own experience, so you cannot show a A Sponsor is not a bank. Loaning or newcomer how to work with a Sponsor if you do borrowing money between a Sponsor and a not work with a Sponsor. Sponsee can taint the relationship. Te two of you Call your Sponsor as soon as someone asks will talk about fnancial issues, but money can you and whimper, “What do I do?” Your Sponsor ruin what could be a working relationship that is your best guide to being a Sponsor. could help you both. Do you have a network of people in the A Sponsor is not a taxi service. A Sponsor Program with whom you can discuss your life and may take a Sponsee to meetings, particularly to options in Recovery? Do you continue to do step the Sponsor’s Home Group, but the Sponsee work with your Sponsor, even after years of should be encouraged to develop a new network sobriety? Do you have a spiritual life? Will you be of people in the Program for rides and discussion. able to share what you have with newcomers, even A Sponsor is not a counselor. Tat means if they are not of the same faith as you? marriage- or employment-counselor. You will Te experience of a Sponsor and Sponsee discuss the Sponsee’s issues and problems, but you working together is unique and should be do not have any authority to share anything other between equals, one of whom has more than your own experience and background in the experience in Recovery than the other. It is a close Steps. Even if you are a licensed counselor, this is teacher / student relationship that may evolve into not a professional relationship. a friendship, but it is not necessary to become A Sponsor is not a therapist. Again, even if friends for successful Sponsorship. the Sponsor is a licensed therapist, this is not a Being a Sponsor does not mean you are professional relationship. Te Sponsor’s job is to superior to the newcomer – you are just someone help the newcomer through Recovery using the who is a little further along the path than the Steps, and the principles in daily living. Tis will Sponsee and who is willing to share with the cover areas of money, relationships, employment, newcomer what you’ve done. sex, desire, defects, and spiritual life. A Sponsor helps the Sponsee understand the basics of the Program and works the Sponsee No one in our Program has attained through the Steps (particularly the 4th and 5th perfection, but progress is our ongoing goal. You Steps). may make mistakes, but learn from them and

– 148 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition share with your Sponsee how mistakes can be If your Sponsee goes out and starts drinking used as part of the lessons required for Recovery. again, fnd someone else to work with who may What your Sponsee sees you do is every bit as want what you have to oﬀer. important as anything you say. If you stay sober, the Sponsorship has been If you do not know something, be honest. eﬀective. Your willingness to seek an answer for something If your Sponsee stays sober, it is not because you do not know can be a powerful lesson for your of your wonderful Sponsorship. It is because you prospect. have helped the Sponsee fnd and develop his spiritual awakening and personal relationship to a Having a Sponsor or being a Sponsor does not Higher Power. guarantee that the prospect will stay sober.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.ORG

To New Speakers

So, you have been asked to speak as a sober to you will remind you what you want to say. You member of Alcoholics Anonymous. will then be able to tell that part of your story as if Congratulations! You've seen it done a hundred you were telling the story to some friends. times, but how do you get up there to deliver a Because, you are. message of your experience, strength, and hope. Many speakers do a short Prayer before they Tis is simply one member’s attempt to share talk, sometimes alone in the bathroom or a quiet Experience, Strength, and Hope with someone place, sometimes at the beginning of their talk. else, regardless of how many listeners he or she Te best public Prayer I have heard is a variation may have. A member speaking for the frst time, on Fr. Mychal’s Prayer. or who wants to re-examine how they present “God, take away everything their story when they speak to a group, might I think I know about you, beneft from a few words from those with and take away everything previous experience. I think I know about me, WHAT DO YOU SAY? and teach me.” First, introduce yourself. You may choose to say your frst name or your full name. Give your LANGUAGE sobriety date and the information for your Home Te book says "We will tell, in our own Group. words..." and no one can tell you what you cannot say. Well, some may try, but their authority is to In the Big Book, we are told that we are to tell you what they have done, not their theories on carry the message and a speaker needs to be clear forbidden language. on what his/her message is. In its simplest form, that message will be "Tis works." But in the Raleigh area there is a sign some meetings use, "A lack of profanity oﬀends no Your talk should be broken into the three one." basic phases; "What it was like...,” "What happened...,” and "What it is like now." It is not My language was rough when I arrived in the the purpose of your talk to explain everything – south. And my story included a lot of the you won't be able to do that. But you will take language I used in the streets. After a talk where some key moments from your story to share. You my Sponsor's wife had brought a friend to hear may want to mention if you have had previous what I had to say, she could only remember that I bouts of sobriety. had used the Queen-Mother of swear words in my talk. My Sponsor's wife came up to me to PREPARATION suggest I watch my language. You really do not need to write a script for So I became righteous and brought up the everything you are going to say. A simple list of direction from the book, "We will tell, in our own words in some approximate order that makes sense words..." She agreed. "It also says you are to carry

– 150 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition the message, and people won't hear the message if With 30 minutes, you need no more than 10 you are oﬀending them." minutes of drunk stories.

At frst I wanted to justify my language but THE BEGINNING OF YOUR OWN SOBRIETY realized that speaking was not about me and how Te "What happened..." phase of your talk wonderful I was. I was told to carry the message should run no more than 1/3 of the total time, but and voluntarily began restricting my language. may be less if you had hit a solid bottom and only Te result was a better talk about the Program had to have one sobriety date. With more than and what it has given me. one sobriety date you may want to share on why You have to make up your own mind. you had to change your date.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? BENEFITS First, remember who you are talking to. A Sometimes a speaker will only talk about the room full of alcoholics is going to be far too struggles he/she must face in sobriety. Many of us self-involved to bother noticing much of what you have to share that we are not examples of success are saying. In fact, there may be only a small with jobs or relationships or behavior. number of people who are really listening – and But never forget that you are talking to a you will never know who they are. You may be room full of people who already know how to fooled that the folks who are sitting in the front, suffer. bright-eyed and apparently paying attention, are Talk about your story in Recovery. Share how not the people who will really get your message. you worked your Steps, talk about your Home But don't be too sure of that. Sometimes you Group, your Sponsor, your Inventory, and Step may plant a seed that won't take root for months Work. Share the personal pain that fnally gave or years, but something from your story may sink you the desire to stop drinking. Really! in with someone who is new, or who has been Your honesty will reach your audience. To around for a while, secretly suffering and ready to stand there and visibly be better than the drunk try something desperate – like using someone you are describing will carry a message. else's story to apply our Program to their own life. Do not share on Steps or problems you have GET SOBER QUICKLY not had. No one needs more theory. You are there Many speakers take the opportunity to tell to carry the message of how the actions you have war stories, and some of the things we have done taken – how using the Big Book, the Steps, your are exactly what give us the authority of Sponsor, and the other tools – have taken you to experience. But some never leave the "and I got so this new place in your life. drunk that I..." phase - you risk the newcomer Do not be afraid to share your real past, but leaving the meeting wondering if you ever got do not involve the names or positions of other sober. people in your story by name. You are telling your Whatever the length of time you have to talk, story, not theirs. we offer this guideline: If you have a secret you learned to give up, Try to keep your personal drunk-a-logue you are not required to tell that secret from the down to 1/3 of the available time. "We will tell podium. No one can make that decision but you. you what we were like..." does not mean talk If you can share a past secret, it may carry a about your career as a budding alcoholic all night. stronger message to someone in your audience So, if you are speaking for 45 minutes, use no who may need to hear how you found freedom more than 15 minutes for your drunk stories. from the poison of secrets.

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Tell them how the Program has given you AFTERWARDS what nothing else has. Talk about feeling at peace If people come up to thank you, say "Tank inside your own skin. Share the healing you have you." It is not your job to explain to them why experienced, the changes in your relationships they are wrong, just say "Tank you." (family, friends, or work) or health. If they say they got something from your talk, Avoid presenting your story so that getting a they know better than you what is in their own new car, a new job, or more money is the reward head. of working your Program. People can become THE THREE TALKS confused with the benefts of the Program and Almost all speakers say they had three talks: material things. Your job is to share your message, • Te talk they wanted to give; your Recovery, offer a solution, and “the” result of • Te talk they actually gave; our Program. • Te talk based on things they remembered “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result after the meeting – what they think they of these Steps...” Tenth Step should have said. Above all, talk of your hope and belief that Tat is common. Like life, you do as well as the Program succeeded where nothing else could. you can and do it a little bit better the next time. Share your sense that you felt it would not work Do your best and learn. You can do it better the for you but that it brought you to where you are next time. now and your hope for the future. EMPTYING YOUR CUP TOOLS, STEPS, AND SERVICE Tere is an old teaching story of a petitioner Try to include how you have used the Steps coming to see a monk for wisdom. Te monk and Tools of the Program (meetings, fellowship, offered him a cup of tea and the petitioner held literature, Sponsor, etc.): out a cup. Te monk poured until the cup was full, then kept pouring until the cup overfowed •Meetings and the tea spilled all over the foor. •Fellowship •Sponsorship When the teapot was empty, the monk shook his head and looked at the petitioner. He said: •Phone •Literature “How can I give you any tea if you do not give •Writing me an empty cup?” •Steps and Steps and Steps Speaking is your opportunity to empty your cup to get the next blessing or lesson. Talk about Service and how it has affected your Recovery. Keep it within your own WRITE A LIST experience and tell how you have done Service. You may want to write down a simple list of Tis can include carrying meetings into things you want to say and put them on an index institutions, setting up for meetings, giving rides, card or a sheet of note paper to help you, should talking with newcomers, making and receiving your mind go blank looking at the faces staring at phone calls, you. Just show up on time and tell the truth. You’ll do fne.

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ONE SPEAKER’S PERSONAL LIST Tis is an example of the ‘list’ it is suggested for you to use when you need to keep your talk moving forward. Your items on your list will be personalized, of course. Give sobriety date, home group Mama’s suicide Growing up with an active alcoholic Molested age 4 Never feeling “real” inside my own skin Family moved every year, no long term friends Drugs in high school, relief Drinking college, THE relief. It worked for me Hating AA (Dad) Going to AA for Inspiration, but not an alcoholic Te 20 Questions - was “I” an alcoholic? Four years plus not able to stay sober in Program Two poor choices of Sponsors I could “out think” Sponsor #3 Day one of my Sobriety My real Inventory Steps, non-negotiable Service, non-negotiable Sponsoring to stay Sober Moving from state to state, new Sponsors, more service Traveling - fnding new meetings Diagnosed diabetic - Stayed Sober Moving here, local home group and Sponsor Commitment to Service and Treatened with amputation and stayed sober; heart attack and stayed sober; how my heart attack meant I didn’t have the amputation; COPD and stayed sober; Tree cancer scares, stayed sober Message to the newcomer. Wrap at... [Stop time for speaker at this meeting]

DO YOUR OWN LIST - IT COULD EVEN BE SHORTER

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Active Listening Objections and Questions Ultimately, you cannot get anyone sober. If see that pile, you’ll be ready to sit down with your they do not do the work, they will not get the Sponsor or the person with whom you do Step result. You can’t coddle anyone, either. Five, to have them help you make sense of what is Every Sponsor encounters repeating questions there. or situations. Over time, your experience dealing “I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO STEP FIVE...” with certain issues will be the most valuable thing In Step Five, you get to see your personal, you can offer a new Sponsee. Tere are different steaming pile in 3D. You need two eyes to see responses to different types of off topic questions. things in 3D, so you need a second viewpoint to Specifc guidance can make a difference. Tese see your Fourth Step in three dimensions. Te are samples of specifcs we have encountered, person you’re doing Step Five with will have some more than once. Tey are not the only questions, experience and be able to help you separate the but they can serve as models to build your own things that come up: aresenal of answers for people who will come to a) What is yours and what is not? We tend to you in the future. become the center of the universe (we think) You can also try to remember the more odd and everything is about “me.” We take on questions you are asked or the comments that responsibility for other people’s thoughts or may play into your own experience in Recovery. actions, or try to escape our own responsibility by claiming it was really A few samples of such questions or comments so-and-so, not “me.” You may be surprised might be. to see what gets taken out of your Fourth “I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO STEP FOUR...” Step, and what remains. When the time comes, when you have really b) Not everything in your Fourth Step are bad done Steps One, Two, and Tree you will be able things. Te Big Book and the Twelve and to do the next step. You might even look forward Twelve both tell us we must Inventory our to it. assets, too. Te purpose of identifying assets Tere is nothing in Step Four you have not is to see where we were given gifts or developed good abilities, and usually how already thought about. Te purpose of Step Four we have not used these assets properly, or is to get those thoughts out of your head and onto turned them into a weapon against other paper, where they stop moving. When we only people. tell and retell our story without writing it down, c) We hear the person we have chosen for our our version changes just a little every time we tell Fifth Step share his own experience with it. the issues we are facing and are surprised to By writing it all in one place, you see what a fnd how we have reacted as simple big steaming pile your life has become. When you humans, not monsters or saints. We fnd

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that we are imperfect, as are the other “SHOULDN’T ALCOHOLISM SIMPLY BE people in AA, but need to take responsibility CLASSIFIED AS A MENTAL ILLNESS?” for what is ours, discard excess baggage that I’m not a medical person and am not qualifed is not ours to repair, and identify all the to diagnose either medically or psychiatrically. aspects of our lives, good and bad. Te AMA (American Medical Association) does Sometimes a participant will challenge you defne alcoholism as a separate diagnosis with with a rumor he has heard about AA. Answer mental and physical factors. Te mental obsession that rumor truthfully; either with the facts and might be on the level of a mental illness. An cite your source for your answers, or admit you do alcoholic can have additional problems, such as not have the answer now and agree to look for the schizophrenia, neurosis, etc., but that does not real story behind the rumor. change the diagnosis of “alcoholic.” Would you use the fact the disease is not “I HEARD BILL WILSON USED LSD.” classifed the way you want it to be classifed as a Yep. In the 1960s, before Timothy Leary and reason not do the Steps? If you think psychiatry black light posters, researchers believed LSD would help you more than the Steps, you are free would be useful in treating alcoholism and to try that. depression, and might be a tool to use in fnding the “Spiritual Experience” most AAs were I, personally, have done three rounds of seeking. Bill took LSD under supervision, often psychotherapy and several class/workshop sessions with Aldous Huxley (author of “Te Doors of in sobriety. I found having my AA program in Perception”) in California. Lois participated in place, and telling the doctor the truth (which was some of those lab sessions. a whole new concept) to be very useful in getting the beneft of a good therapist. Te story is in Chapter 23 of Pass It On, which is Bill Wilson’s history of AA. When it became controversial, Bill stopped participating in Sometimes the question will be heartfelt and, the experiment. It is also covered in Ernie Kurtz’ if you have made the class a safe place to ask real unofficial history of AA, “Not God.” questions, may be instrumental in helping the In other sessions, you may have someone who participant overcome his or her block on doing wants to explore some non-Recovery related the work of Recovery. question, or wants to show how smart they are by “I DON’T UNDERSTAND ALL THAT “THEE” asking a question to which they already know the AND “THINE” STUFF. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” answer, but want to have the chance to be the one It would never have occurred to me to ask that to tell the class. question. I was raised in a good, church-going “ISN’T IT TRUE BILL WILSON WAS A family and “thee” and “thine” were part of the MASON?” language from the very early days. I really don’t know. It’s never been part of my Let’s take the suggested Tird Step Prayer on understanding of how to do the Steps or to deal Page 63: with my own Recovery. But I’m sure it has been documented if it is true. "God, I offer myself to Tee – to build Does that change whether you will do your with me and to do with me as Tou Steps, or the information being presented here? wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, Can we focus on Steps and Recovery? that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would

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help of Ty Power, Ty Love, and Ty them fnd someone who can answer their Way of life. May I do Ty will always!" questions. You aren’t expected to know Now, let’s do that in current English to get everything. the meaning without the 16th Century English. Remember that a lot of the newcomer’s early objections to AA are based on information from "God, I offer myself to You – to build people who may not be fans of AA, or may be a with me and to do with me as You will. result of fear of admitting there might be answers Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I of which the newcomer do not already have. may better do Your will. Take away my Sometimes, it can also be useful to ask if the difficulties, that victory over them may answer to the question has anything to do with bear witness to those I would help of getting and staying clean and sober. If they do not Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way get the answer they like, will it justify staying of life. May I do Your will always!" drunk and high with all that means in their own If you have a more personal way to phrase this life and the lives of the people they affect? Prayer, so that it is clear to you and you mean the Or a newcomer’s arguments may even a words, you have an obligation to make this Prayer delaying tactic – a distraction to avoid the serious as strong as you can. self appraisal required to defate the Ego. Tey may require some time to believe they are going If you don’t know an answer, don’t claim that to be able to take the actions to repair past you do. You can always help someone fnd an damage and become a new and useful member of answer you do not already have. You can help the society in which they fnd themselves.

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THE WORK CURRICULUM

Build Your Arch

For the frst ffteen years of my Recovery, the I understood the intent. I understood that the internet was not much of a thing. I used email, artist wanted to repesent the arch through which but websites were strange and alien things that we will walk into the new life, given to us by other people made. And archives were just Recovery. starting to appear, brimming with fles of art and But I am a problem child and my only poetry and writings and research and more. thought was “How can you build an arch like In time, web pages began to appear on every that?” possible topic. Including Recovery. It looked to me like this arch would fall down And in one of these I found this image. around the First Step. Before the First Step. It would fall apart about the point of the empty stone above ‘Notes’ on the left side. So I wondered how I could build an arch that did not fall down. A lasting arch that represented the work I was doing through the Steps, using the Tools, and keeping the structure, the combination of spirituality and action, topped by the three “maintenance” Steps: Ten, Eleven and Twelve. I found a way to make my arch9. Maybe you will be able to use it. Maybe you will build your own arch. An arch that makes sense to you and gives you lasting peace and shelter.

9 Tis arch was used for the frst time as an illustration in the relapse prevention class, Te Work. Tis is the second version, with a slight adjustment on the positioning of the Steps. It is available as a free download from the home website for this book, http://sponsormagazine.info – 157 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

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THE WORK CURRICULUM

Why Carry This Message?

Te best way to learn a subject, no matter Even if you are not working closely with one what that subject may be, is to teach that subject person as a “Sponsor” you can share your to others. As you teach, as you share, as you Recovery with them as a friend. Tey may listen Sponsor, you reap the benefts. Maybe the one to to you as they would not listen to anyone else. As whom you carry the message does not succeed, with Step One - the Step Twelve success is based but you do! on “We.” You “carry this message” to ensure your own Working with others, actively supporting the Recovery. meetings and service structure, donating, and Repeatedly the story returns to where doing Service are the ways we improve our own someone fnds Sobriety and begins a life in understanding of Recovery. We get more by Recovery, but maintains a basic attitude of giving it away. selfshness - “I got mine – you’re on your own.” And those people show up in the familiar story of Tis chart from the National Training a Relapse. Laboratories may help you understand.

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PRIMARYPURPOSE.ORG

That Ain’t in the Book!

We hear a lot of stuff said in meetings that Page 43 can't be reconciled with the Program as described "I will always be recovering, never recovered." in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. What "Te Story of How Many Tousands of Men and follows are some of the things we often hear, Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism" along with what the 1st Edition of our basic text Title Page has to say on the subject. Tis list includes the corresponding page and "Doubtless you are curious to discover how and paragraph from the Big Book that deals with the why, in face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind subject. and body.” Page 20 "Remember your last drunk." "We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one "We are unable, at times, to bring into our hundred men and women who have recovered consciousness with sufficient force the memory of from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a Forward, First Edition month ago. We are without defense against the "Further on, clear-cut directions are given frst drink." Page 24 showing how we recovered." Page 132 “I choose not to drink today." "We have recovered, and have been given the "Te fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet power to help others." Page 132 obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink." “We are all just an arm’s length away from a Page 24 drink.” "Play the tape all the way through." "And we have ceased fghting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have "Te almost certain consequences that follow returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot fame. mind to deter us. If these thoughts do occur, they We react sanely and normally, and we will fnd are hazy and readily supplanted with the old that this has happened automatically. We will see threadbare idea that this time we shall handle that our new attitude toward liquor has been ourselves like other people. Tere is a complete given us without any thought or effort on our failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from part. It just comes! Tat is the miracle of it. We putting his hand on a hot stove." Page 24 are not fghting it, neither are we avoiding "Tink through the drink." temptation. We feel as though we had been placed "Once more: Te alcoholic at certain times has no in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. effective mental defense against the frst drink. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any has been removed. It does not exist for us." other human being can provide such a defense. Page 84 His defense must come from a Higher Power."

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"I don't have an alcohol problem, I have a living "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our problem." own making. Tey arise out of ourselves, and the "In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run leaves out this physical factor is incomplete." riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above Page xxiv everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfshness. We must, or it kills us!" Page 62 "Don't drink and go to meetings." “Many of us felt we had plenty of character. Tere "Meeting makers make it." was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we "Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as found it impossible. Tis is the baffling feature of a program of Recovery." Page 59 alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to "I'm powerless over people, places, and things." leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity "We have recovered, and have been given the or the wish.” Page 34 power to help others." Page 132 "Whether such a person can quit upon a " Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to make any wife or child neurotic. " Page 122 which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not." Page 34 "Te alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. "Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been however, our joy in escape from disaster does not uprooted. Selfsh and inconsiderate habits have subside as we go our individual ways. Te feeling kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is of having shared in a common peril is one element unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough." in the powerful cement which binds us. But that Page 89 in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined." Page 17 "You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confdence when others fail." Page 103 "Tis is a selfsh program." "Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers depend "You're in the right place." upon our constant thought of others and how we "Ten we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may help meet their needs." Page 20 may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause "Helping others is the foundation stone of your him to die a few years before his time. If a Recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan love, change of environment, or the warning of a every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop many nights' sleep, great interference with your or moderate, although he may fnd it difficult and pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may troublesome and may even need medical mean sharing your money and your home, attention." counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, "If anyone who is showing inability to control his hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may drinking can do the right- about-face and drink jangle at any time of the day or night. " Page 97 like a gentleman, our hats are off to him." "For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge Page 20-21 his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifce "We do not like to pronounce any individual as for others, he could not survive the certain trials alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. and low spots ahead." Page 14-15 Step over to the nearest barroom and try some "Selfshness, self-centeredness! Tat, we think, is controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop the root of our troubles." Page 62 abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with

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yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch jitters if you get a full knowledge of your and ruin everything!" Page 100-101 condition." Page 31 "I'm a people pleaser. I need to learn to take care "Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His of myself." drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only "Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much be kind?" Page 61 money for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. "Don't drink, even if your ass falls off." or "Don't Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you drink, no matter what." and his friends. He is positive he can handle his “Many of us felt we had plenty of character. Tere liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we necessary in his business. He would probably be found it impossible. Tis is the baffling feature of insulted if he were called an alcoholic. Tis world alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to is full of people like him. Some will moderate or leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who or the wish.” Page 34 keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics "I haven't had a drink today, so I'm a complete after a while." Page 92 success today." "If you are satisfed that he is a real alcoholic." "Te elimination of drinking is but a beginning. "If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, A much more important demonstration of our or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage principles lies before us in our respective homes, him to follow his own conscience." Page 95 occupations and affairs.” Page 19 "If an alcoholic wants to get sober, nothing you "It's my opinion that..." or "I don't know anything say can make him drink." about the Big Book, but this is the way I do it..." "A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics "We have concluded to publish an anonymous whose lives could have been saved, had it not been volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause shall bring to the task our combined experience of temperate drinking any good, for not one and knowledge. Tis should suggest a useful drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything program for anyone concerned with a drinking about alcohol by one who hates it." Page 103 problem." Page 19 "We must change playmates, playgrounds, and "We need to give up planning; it doesn't work." playthings." "On awakening let us think about the "Assuming we are spiritually ft, we can do all twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct People have said we must not go where liquor is our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced served; we must not have it in our homes; we from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. must shun friends who drink; we must avoid Under these conditions we can employ our mental moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us must not go into bars; our friends must hide their brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our wrong motives. In thinking about our day we experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We may face indecision. We may not be able to meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who determine which course to take. Here we ask God cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. there is something the matter with his spiritual We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We status. His only chance for sobriety would be some are often surprised how the right answers come place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there after we have tried this for a while." Page 86

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"I have a choice to not drink today." “My Sponsor told me that, if in making amends I "We alcoholics are men and women who have lost would be harmed, I could consider myself as one the ability to control our drinking. We know that of the ‘others’ in Step Nine.” no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt “Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go at times that we were regaining control, but such to any lengths to fnd a spiritual experience, we intervals - usually brief - were inevitably ask that we be given strength and direction to do followed by still less control, which led in time to the right thing, no matter what the personal pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We consequences might be.” Page 79 are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type "I need to forgive myself frst." or "You need to be are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any good to yourself." considerable period we get worse, never better." “Te rule is we must be hard on ourself, but Page 30 always considerate of others.” Page 74 "If all I do is stay sober today, then it's been a "Take what you want and leave the rest." good day." "Te tremendous fact for every one of us is that we "Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only have discovered a common solution. We have a thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he way out upon which we can absolutely agree, and must keep sober, for there will be no home if he upon which we can join in brotherly and doesn't. But he is yet a long way from making harmonious action. Tis is the great news this good to the wife or parents whom for years he has book carries to those who suﬀer from alcoholism." so shockingly treated." Page 82 Page 17 "We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough." Page 82 "Just do the next right thing." "You don't need a shrink. You have an alcoholic "We may not be able to determine which course to personality. All you will ever need is in the frst take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an 164 pages of the Big Book." intuitive thought or a decision." Page 86 "But this does not mean that we disregard human "Being still inexperienced and having just made health measures. God has abundantly supplied conscious contact with God, it is not probable that this world with fne doctors, psychologists, and we are going to be inspired at all times. We might practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd take your health problems to such persons. Most of actions and ideas." Page 87 them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to "Don't make any major decisions for the frst year." remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor (a) – Tat we were alcoholic and could not or psychiatrist. Teir services are often manage our own lives. indispensable in treating a newcomer and in (b) – Tat probably no human power could have following his case afterward." Page 133 relieved our alcoholism. “AA is the only way to stay sober." (c) – Tat God could and would if He were sought. Being convinced, we were at Step Tree, “If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, which is that we decided to turn our will and our or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage life over to God as we understood Him." Page 60 him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach "When ready, we say something like this: ’My that worked with us.” Page 95 Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now “Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We remove from me every single defect of character realize we know only a little.” Page 164 which stands in the way of my usefulness to you

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and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out "Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as from here, to do your bidding. Amen.’ We have a program of Recovery." Page 59 then completed Step Seven." Page 76 "You only work one step a year." or "Take your "Stay out of relationships for the frst year!" time to work the steps." "We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex “What often takes place in a few months can conduct." Page . 69 hardly be brought about by himself alone." Page "In Meditation, we ask God what we should do 569 about each specifc matter. Te right answer will "Next we launched on a course of vigorous action." come if we want it." Page 69 Page 63 "God alone can judge our sex situation. Page 69 "If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, "Counsel with other persons is often desirable, but however, if we hold ourselves in complete we let God be the fnal judge." Page 69-70 readiness to go through with it at the frst "We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance opportunity" Page 74 in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for "Returning home we fnd a place where we can be the strength to do the right thing." Page 70 quiet for AN HOUR, carefully reviewing what we have done." "Make sure to put something good "Alcohol was my drug of choice." about yourself in your 4th Step Inventory." "Te fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet Page 75 obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink." Page 24 "First, we searched out the faws in our make-up which caused our failure." Page 64 "Keep coming back, eventually it will rub off on "Te Inventory was ours, not the other man's. you." When we saw our faults we listed them." Page 71 "Tough our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once "If you have already made a decision, and an followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid Inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have of, the things in ourselves which had been made a good beginning." Page 67 blocking us" Page 64 "You need to stay in those feelings and really feel them." Page 84 "Ninety Meetings in Ninety Days." "When these crop up, we ask God at once to "We meet frequently so that newcomers may fnd remove them." Page. 125 the fellowship they seek." Page 15 “None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did." Page 19

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Notes and Essays

Tese short snippets are introductions to the rich lore of AA/Twelve Step history and personal observations on the process of Twelve Step Recovery. Dozens of excellent books and websites are available to give you a more substantive education in the viewpoints, documentations and even the disagreements over the details of our history. It has not been the purpose of this book to present the ‘One Truth’ of the Program and the process of Recovery, but to share with you the varieties of experience and diﬀerent, sometimes opposing, positions taken by various reporters and historians.

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FORT WORTH, TEXAS, 6/12/54

How the Big Book Was Put Together A Talk by Bill Wilson

AA Co-Founder Bill Wilson

I think I’m on the bill for tonight’s show with a a little more so that today the average AA coming in talk on the 12 Traditions of AA. But you know the door learns at once what they’re about; about drunks, like women, have the prerogative, or at least what kind of an outft he really has landed in and by seize the prerogative of changing their minds - I’m what principles his group and AA as a whole are not going to make any such damn talk! For governed. something very festive I think the Traditions 1-12 But, as I say, the dickens with all that. I would would be a little too grim, might bore you a little. like to just spin some yarn and they will be a series As a matter of fact, speaking of Traditions, when of yarns which cluster around the preparation of the they were frst written back there in 1945 or 1946 as good old AA bible and when I hear that it always tentative guides to help us hang together and makes me shudder because the guys who put it function, nobody paid any attention except a few together weren’t a damn bit biblical. I think "againers" who wrote me and asked what the hell sometimes some of the drunks have an idea that are they about? these old timers went around with almost visible Nobody paid the slightest attention. But, little by halos and long gowns and they were full of little as these Traditions got around we had our sweetness and light. Oh boy, how inspired they clubhouse squabbles, our little rifts, this diﬃculty were, oh yes. But wait till I tell you. I suppose the and that, it was found that the Traditions indeed book yarn really started in the living room of Doc did refect experience and were guiding principles. and Annie Smith. So, they took hold a little more and a little more and

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As you know, I landed there in the summer of Hospital in Akron to make room for people with ‘35, a little group caught hold. I helped Smithy broken legs and ailing livers; that the hospitals were briefy with it and he went on to found the frst AA not too happy with us. We tried to run their group in the world. And, as with all new groups, it business perhaps too much, and besides, drunks was nearly all failure, but now and then, somebody were apt to be noisy in the night and there were saw the light and there was progress. Pampered, I other inconveniences, which were all tremendous. got back to New York, a little more experienced So, it was obvious that because of drunks being such group started there, and by the time we got around unlovely creatures, we would have to have a great to 1937, this thing had leaped over into Cleveland, chain of hospitals. and began to move south from New York. And as that dream burst upon me, it sounded But, it was still, we thought in those years, fying good, because you see, I’d been down in Wall Street blind, a fickering candle indeed, that might at any in the promotion business and I remember the great moment be snuﬀed out. So, on this late fall sums of money that were made as soon as people got afternoon in 1937, Smithy and I were talking this chain idea. You know, chain drug stores, chain together in his living room, Anne sitting there, grocery stores, chain dry good stores. Tat evening when we began to count noses. How many people Bob and I told them that we were within sight of had stayed dry; in Akron, in New York, maybe a success and that we thought this thing might go on few in Cleveland? How many had stayed dry and for and on and on, that a new light indeed was shining how long? And when we added up the total, it sure in our dark world. But how could this light be a was a handful of, I don’t know, 35 to 40 maybe. But refection and transmitted without being distorted enough time had elapsed on enough really fatal cases and garbled? At this point, they turned the meeting of alcoholism, so that we grasped the importance of over to me, and being a salesman, I set right to work these small statistics. Bob and I saw for the frst on the drunk tanks and subsidies for the time that this thing was going to succeed. Tat God missionaries, I was pretty poor then. in his providence and mercy had thrown a new light We touched on the book. Te group conscience into the dark caves where we and our kind had been consisted of 18 men good and true. And the good and were still by the millions dwelling. and true men, you could see right away, were I can never forget the elation and ecstasy that dammed skeptical about it all. Almost with one seized us both. And when we sat happily talking and voice, they chorused "let’s keep it simple, this is refecting, we refected, that well, a couple of score going to bring money into this thing, this is going of drunks were sober but this had taken three long to create a professional class. We’ll all be ruined." years. Tere had been an immense amount of failure "Well," I countered, "that’s a pretty good and a long time had been taken just to sober up the argument. Lots to what you say... but even within handful. How could this handful carry its message gunshot of this very house, alcoholics are dying like to all those who still didn’t know? Not all the drunks fies. And if this thing doesn’t move any faster than in the world could come to Akron or New York. it has in the last three years, it may be another 10 But how could we transmit our message to them, before it gets to the outskirts of Akron. How in and by what means? Maybe we could go to the old God’s name are we going to carry this message to timers in each group, but that meant nearly others? We’ve got to take some kind of chance. We everybody, to fnd the sum of money - somebody can’t keep it so simple it becomes anarchy and gets else’s money, of course and say to them "Well now, complicated. We can’t keep it so simple that it won’t take a sabbatical year oﬀ your job if you have one, propagate itself, and we’ve got to have a lot of and you go to Kentucky, Omaha, Chicago, San money to do these things." Francisco and Los Angeles and where ever it may be So, exerting myself to the utmost, which was and you give this thing a year and get a group considerable in those days, we fnally got a vote in started." that little meeting and it was a mighty close vote by It had already become evident by then that we just a majority of maybe 2 or 3. Te meeting said were just about to be moved out of the City with some reluctance, "Well Bill, if we need a lot of

– 168 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition dough, you better go back to New York where Willard Richardson - one of the loveliest Christian there’s plenty of it and you raise it." gentlemen I have ever known. Well, boy, that was the word that I’d been And the moment he recognized my waiting for. So I scrammed back to the great city brother-in-law he said, "Why Leonard, where have and I began to approach some people of means you been all these years?” describing this tremendous thing that had Well, my brother-in-law, unlike me, is a man of happened. And it didn’t seem so tremendous to the very few words, so he quickly said to dear old Uncle people of means at all. What? 35 or 40 drunks sober Willard, he had a brother-in-law who had up? Tey have sobered them up before now, you apparently some success sobering up drunks and know. And besides, Mr. Wilson, don’t you think it’s could the two of us come over there and see him. kind of sweeping up the shavings? I mean, wouldn’t "Why certainly," said dear Willard. something for the Red Cross be better? "Come right over." In other words, with all of my ardent So we go over to Rockefeller Plaza. We go up solicitations, I got one hell of a freeze from the that elevator - 54 fights or 56 I guess it was, and we gentlemen of wealth. Well, I began to get blue and walk promptly into Mr. Rockefeller’s personal when I begin to get blue my stomach kicks up as offices, and ask to see Mr. Richardson. Here sits this well as other things. lovely, benign old gentleman, who nevertheless had I was lying in the bed one night with an a kind of shrewd twinkle in his eye. So I sat down imaginary ulcer attack (this used to happen all the and told him about our exciting discovery, this time - I had one the time the 12 steps were written) terrifc cure for alcoholics that had just hit the and I said, "My God, we’re starving to death here world, how it worked and what we have done for on Clinton Street." By this time the house was full them. And, boy, this was the frst receptive man of drunks. Tey were eating us out of house and with money or access to money - remember we were home. In those days we never believed in charging in Mr. Rockefeller’s personal offices at this point - anybody anything - so Lois was earning the money, and by now, we had learned that this was Mr. I was being the missionary and the drunks were Rockefeller’s closest personal friend. So he said, "I’m eating the meals. "Tis can’t go on. We’ve got to very interested. Would you like to have lunch with have those drunk tanks, we’ve got to have those me, Mr. Wilson?" missionaries, and we’ve got to have a book. Tat’s Well, now you know, for a rising promoter, that for sure." sounded pretty good - going to have lunch with the Te next morning I crawled into my clothes and I best friends of John D. Tings were looking up. My called on my brother-in-law. He’s a doctor and he is ulcer attack disappeared. So I had lunch with the about the last person who followed my trip way old gentleman and we went over this thing again down. Te only one, save of course, the Lord. and again and, boy, he’s so warm and kindly and "Well," I said, "I’ll go up and see Leonard." So I friendly. went up to see my brother-in-law Leonard and he Right at the close of the lunch he said, "Well pried out a little time between patients coming in now Mr. Wilson or Bill, if I can call you that, there. I started my awful bellyache about these rich wouldn’t you like to have a luncheon meeting with guys who wouldn’t give us any dough for this great some of my friends? Tere’s Frank Amos, he’s in the and glorious enterprise. advertising business but he was on a committee that It seemed to me he knew a girl and I think she recommended that Mr. Rockefeller drop the had an uncle that somehow was tied up with the prohibition business. And there’s Leroy Chipman, Rockefeller offices. I asked him to call and see if he looks after Mr. Rockefeller’s real estate. And there was such a man and if there was, would he see there’s Mr. Scotty, Chairman of the Board of the us. On what slender threads our destiny sometimes Riverside Church and a number of other people like hangs. So, the call was made. Instantly there came that. I believe they’d like to hear this story." onto the other end of the wire the voice of dear So a meeting was arranged and it fell upon a winter’s night in 1937. And the meeting was held at

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30 Rockefeller Plaza. We called in, posthaste, a All the reports were good except that he was a couple of drunks from Akron - Smithy included, of drunk that recently got sober. He visited the little course - heading the procession. I came in with the meeting out there. He went to the Smith house and New York contingent of four or fve. And to our he came back with what he thought was a very astonishment we were ushered into Mr., modest proposal. Rockefeller’s personal boardroom right next to his He recommended to these friends of ours that we oﬃce. I thought to myself "Well, now this is really should have at least a token amount of money at getting hot." And indeed I felt very much warmed frst, say $50,000, something like that. Tat would when I was told by Mr. Richardson that I was clear up the mortgage on Smith’s place. It would get sitting in a chair just vacated by Mr. Rockefeller. us a little rehabilitation place. We could put Dr. I said "Well, now, we really are getting close to Smith in charge. We could subsidize a few of these the bankroll." Old Doc Silkworth was there that people briefy, until we got some more money. We night too, and he testifed what he had seen happen could start the chain of hospitals. We’d have a few to these new friends of ours, and each drunk, missionaries. We could get busy on the book, all for thinking of nothing better to say, told their stories a mere 50,000 bucks. Well, considering the kind of of drinking and recovering and these folk listened. money we were backed up against, that did sound a Tey seemed very defnitely impressed. I could see little small, but, you know, one thing leads to that the moment for the big touch was coming. So, another and it sounded real good. We were real I gingerly brought up the subject of the drunk tanks, glad. the subsidized missionaries, and the big question of Mr. Willard Richardson, our original contact, a book or literature. then took that report into John D. Jr. as everybody Well, God moves in mysterious ways, his recalls. And I’ve since heard what went on in there. wonders to perform. It didn’t look like a wonder to Mr. Rockefeller read the report, called Willard me when Mr. Scott, head of a large engineering frm Richardson and thanked him and said: "Somehow I and Chairman of the Riverside Church, looked at us am strangely stirred by all this. Tis interests me and said "Gentlemen, up to this point, this has been immensely." And then looking at his friend Willard, the work of goodwill only. No plan, no property, no he said, "But isn’t money going to spoil this thing? paid people, just one carrying the good news to the I’m terribly afraid that it would. And yet I am so next. Isn’t that true? And may it not be that that is strangely stirred by it." where the great power of this society lies? Now, if Ten came another turning point in our destiny. we subsidize it, might it not alter its whole When that man whose business is giving away character? We want to do all we can, we’re gathered money said to Willard Richardson, "No," he said, “I for that, but would it be wise?" won’t be the one to spoil this thing with money. Well then, the salesmen all gave Mr. Scott the You say these two men who are heading it are a rush and we said, "Why, Mr. Scott, there’re only 40 little ‘stressed’, I’ll put $5,000 in the Riverside of us. It’s taken 3 years. Why millions, Mr. Scott, Church treasury. Tose folks can form themselves will rot before this thing ever gets to them unless we into a committee and draw on it, as they like. I want have money and lots of it." to hear what goes on. But, please don’t ask me for And we made our case at last with these any more money." gentlemen for the missionaries, the drunk tanks and Well, with ffty thousand that then was shrunk to the book. So one of them volunteered to investigate fve, we raised the mortgage on Smithy’s house for us very carefully, and since poor old Dr. Bob was about three grand. Tat left two and Smith and I harder up than I was, and since the frst group and commenced chewing on that too. Well, that was a the reciprocal community was in Akron, we directed long way from a string of drunk tanks and books. their attention out there. Frank Amos, still a trustee What in thunder would we do? Well, we had more in the Foundation, at his own expense, got on a meetings with our newfound friends, Amos, train, went out to Akron and made all sorts of Richardson, Scott, Chipman and those fellows who preliminary inquiries around town about Dr. Bob. stuck with us to this day, some of them now gone.

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And, in spite of Mr. Rockefeller’s advice, we again disgusting and we didn’t get one damn cent in the convinced these folks that this thing needed a lot of whole summer of 1938, praise God! Well, money. What could we do without it? meantime, we began to hold trustee meetings and So, one of them proposed, "Well, why don’t we they were commiseration sessions on getting no form a foundation, something like the Rockefeller dough. What with the mortgage and with me and Foundation?" Smithy eating away at it, the fve grand had gone up I said, "I hope it will be like that with respect to the fu, and we were all stone-broke again. Smithy money." couldn’t get his practice back either because he was a And then one of them got a free lawyer from a surgeon and nobody likes to be carved up by an frm who was interested in the thing. And we all alcoholic surgeon - even if he was three years sober. asked him to draw up an agreement of trust, a So things were tough all around, no fooling. Well, charter for something to be called the Alcoholic what would we do? Foundation. Why we picked that one, I don’t know. One day, probably in August 1938, I produced at I don’t know whether the Foundation was alcoholic, a Foundation meeting, a couple of chapters of a it was the Alcoholic Foundation, not the Alcoholics proposed book along with some recommendations Foundation. And the lawyer was very much of a couple of doctors down at Johns Hopkins to try confused because in the meeting, which formed the to put the bite on the rich. And we still had these Foundation, we made it very plain that we did not two book chapters kicking around. Frank Amos wish to be in the majority. We felt that there should said, "Well now, I know the religious editor down be non-alcoholics on the board and they ought to be there at Harpers, an old friend of mine, Gene in a majority of one. Exman." He said, "Why don’t you take these two "Well, indeed," said the lawyer, "What is the book chapters, your story and the introduction to diﬀerence between an alcoholic and a the book, down there and show them to Gene and non-alcoholic?" see what he thinks about them." And one of our smart drunks said, "Tat’s a So I took the chapters down. To my great cinch, a non-alcoholic is a guy who can drink and an surprise, Gene who was to become a great friend of alcoholic is a guy who can’t drink." ours, looked at the chapters and said, "Why Mr. "Well," said the lawyer, "how do we state that Wilson, could you write a whole book like this?" legally?" "Well,” I said, "Sure, sure." We didn’t know. So at length, we have a Tere was more talk about it. I guess he went in foundation and a board which I think then was and showed it to Mr. Canfeld, the big boss, and about seven, consisting of four of these new friends, another meeting was had. Te upshot was that including my brother-in-law, Mr. Richardson, Harpers intimated that they would pay me as the Chipman, Amos and some of us drunks. I think budding author, ffteen hundred in advance Smithy went on the board but I kind of coyly stayed royalties, bringing enough money in to enable me to oﬀ it thinking it would be more convenient later on. fnish the book. I felt awful good about that. It So we had this wonderful new foundation. Tese made me feel like I was an author or something. I friends, unlike Mr. Rockefeller, were sold on the felt real good about it but after a while, not so good. idea that we needed a lot of dough, and so our Because I began to reason, and so did the other salesmen around New York started to solicit some boys, if this guy Wilson eats up the ffteen hundred money, again, from the very rich. We had a list of bucks while he’s doing this book, after the book gets them and we had credentials from friends of Mr. out, it will take a long time to catch up. And if this John D. Rockefeller. "How could you miss, I ask thing gets him publicity, what are we going to do you, salesmen?" with the inquiries? And, after all, what’s a lousy 10% Te Foundation had been formed in the spring of royalty anyway? Te ffteen hundred still looked 1938 and all summer we solicited the rich. Well, pretty big to me. Ten we thought too, now here’s a they were either in Florida or they preferred the Red fne publisher like Harpers, but if this book if and Cross, or some of them thought that drunks were when done, should prove to be the main textbook

– 171 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition for AA, why would we want our main means of how are we going to convince the drunks that we propagation in the hands of somebody else? could move carload lots of them? Millions of dollars. Shouldn’t we control this thing? At this point, the So we get the idea we’ll go up to the Reader’s book project really began. Digest, and we got an appointment with Mr. I had a guy helping me on this thing who had red Kenneth Paine, the managing editor there. Gee, I hair and ten times my energy and he was some never forget the day we got oﬀ the train up at promoter. He said, "Bill, this is something, come on Pleasantville and were ushered into his oﬃce. We with me." excitedly told him the story of this wonderful We walk into a stationery store, we buy a pad of budding society. We dwelled upon the friendship of blank stock certifcates and we write across the top Mr. Rockefeller and Harry Emerson Fosdick. You of them ‘Works Publishing Company’- Par Value know we were traveling in good company with Twenty-fve Dollars. So we take the pad of these Paine. Te society, by the way, was about to publish stock certifcates, (of course we didn’t bother to a textbook, then in the process of being written and incorporate it, that didn’t happen for several more we were wondering, Mr. Paine, if this wouldn’t be a years) we took this pad of stock certifcates to the matter of tremendous interest to the Reader’s frst AA meeting where you shouldn’t mix money Digest? Having in mind of course that the Reader’s with spirituality. We said to the drunks "Look, this Digest has a circulation of 12 million readers and if thing is gonna be a cinch. Parker will take a third of we could only get a free ad of this coming book in this thing for services rendered. I, the author will the Digest we really would move something, ya see? take a third for services rendered, and you can have a "Well," Mr. Paine said, "this sounds extremely third of these stock certifcates par 25 if you’ll just interesting, I like this idea, why I think it’ll be an start paying up on your stock. If you only want one absolutely ideal piece for the Digest. How soon do share, it’s only fve dollars a month, 5 months, see?" you think this new book will be out Mr. Wilson?" And the drunks all gave us this stony look that I said, "We’ve got a couple of chapters written, said, "What the hell? You mean to say you’re only ahem, if we can get right at it, Mr. Paine, uh, you asking us to buy stock in a book that you ain’t know, uh, probably uh, this being October, we written yet?" ought to get this thing out by April or next May. "Why sure," we said. "If Harpers will put money Why?" in this thing why shouldn’t you? Harpers said it’s Mr. Paine said, "I’m sure the Digest would like a gonna be a good book." thing like this. Mr. Wilson, I’ll take it up with the But the drunks still gave us this stony stare. We editorial board, and when the time is right and you had to think up some more arguments. get already to shoot, come up and we’ll put a special "We’ve been looking at pricing costs of the feature writer on this thing and we’ll tell all about books, boys. We get a book here, ya know, 400 or your society." 450 pages, it ought to sell for about $3.50." And then my promoter friend said, "But Mr. Now back in those days we found on inquiry Paine, will you mention the new book in the piece?" from the printers that that $3.50 book could be "Yes," said Mr. Paine, "we will mention the printed for 35 cents making a 1,000% proft. Of book." course, we didn’t mention the other expenses, just Well, that was all we needed, we went back to the printing costs. "So boys, just think on it, when the drunks and said, "now look, boys, there are these books move out by the carload we will be positively millions in this - how can you miss? printing them for 35 cents and we’ll be selling them Harpers says it’s going to be a good book. We buy direct mail for $3.50. How can you lose?" them for 35 cents from the printer, we sell them for Te drunks still gave us this stony stare. No salt. $3.50 and the Reader’s Digest is going to give us a Well, we fgured we had to have a better argument free ad in its piece and boys, those books will move than that. Harpers said it was a good book, you can out by the carload. How can you miss? And after all, print them for 35 cents and sell them for $3.50, but we only need four or fve thousand bucks."

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So we began to sell the shares of Works we need a defnite statement of concrete principles Publishing, not yet incorporated, par value $25 and that these drunks can’t wiggle out of. Can’t be any at $5 per month to the poor people. Some people wiggling out of this deal at all. And this six-step bought as few as one and one guy bought ten shares. program had two big gaps in-between they’ll wiggle We sold a few shares to non-alcoholics and my out of. Moreover if this book goes out to distant promoter friend who was to get one-third interest readers, they have to have, got to have an absolutely was a very important man in this transaction because explicit program by which to go. he went out and kept collecting the money from the Tis was while I was thinking these thoughts, drunks so that little Ruthie Hock and I could keep while my imaginary ulcer was paining me and while working on the book and Lois could have some I was mad as hell at these drunks because the money groceries (even though she was still working in that was coming in too slow. Some had the stock and department store). weren’t paying up. A couple of guys came in and So, the preparation started and some more they gave me a big argument and we yelled and chapters were done and we went to AA meetings in shouted and I fnally went down and laid on the bed New York with these chapters in the rough. It with my ulcer and I said, "Poor me." wasn’t like chicken-in-the-rough; the boys didn’t eat Tere was a pad of paper by the bed and I those chapters up at all. I suddenly discovered that I reached for that and said, "You’ve got to break this was in this terrifc whirlpool of arguments. I was just program up into small pieces so they can’t wiggle the umpire - I fnally had to stipulate. "Well boys, out. So I started writing, trying to bust it up into over here you got the Holy Rollers who say we need little pieces. And when I got the pieces set down on all the good old-fashioned stuff in the book, and that piece of yellow paper, I put numbers on them over here you tell me we’ve got to have a and was rather agreeably surprised when it came out psychological book, and that never cured anybody, to twelve. I said, "Tat’s a good signifcant fgure in and they didn’t do very much with us in the Christianity and mystic lore.” Ten I noticed that missions, so I guess you will have to leave me just to instead of leaving the God idea to the last, I’d got it be the umpire. I’ll scribble out some roughs here and up front but I didn’t pay much attention to that, it show them to you and let’s get the comments in." looked pretty good. So we fought, bled and died our way through one Well, the next meeting comes along; I’d gone on chapter after another. We sent them out to Akron beyond the steps trying to amplify them in the rest and they were peddled around and there were of that chapter to the meeting and boy, terrifc hassles about what should go in this book pandemonium broke loose. and what should not. Meanwhile, we set drunks up "What do you mean by changing the program, to write their stories or we had newspaper people to what about this, what about that, this thing is write the stories for them to go in the back of the overloaded with God. We don’t like this, you’ve got book. We had an idea that we’d have a text and all these guys on their knees - stand them up! A lot of and then we’d have stories all about the drunks who these drunks are scared to death of being Godly, were staying sober. let’s take God out of it entirely." Ten came that night when we were up around Such were the arguments that we had. Out of Chapter 5. As you know I’d gone on about myself, that terrifc hassle came the Twelve Steps. Tat which was natural after all. And then the little argument caused the introduction of the phrase that introductory chapter and we dealt with the agnostic has been a lifesaver to thousands; it was certainly and we described alcoholism, but, boy, we fnally got none of my doing. I was on the pious side then, you to the point where we really had to say what the see, still suffering from this big hot fash of mine. book was all about and how this deal works. As I Te idea of "God as you understand Him" came out told you this was a six-step program then. of that perfectly ferocious argument and we put that On this particular evening, I was lying in bed on in. Clinton Street wondering what the deuce this next Well, little by little things ground on, little by chapter would be about. Te idea came to me: Well, little the drunks put in money and we kept an office

– 173 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition open in Newark, which was the office of a defunct Digest is going to print a plug about it to its two business where I tried to establish my friend. Te million readers. Tis book should go out in carloads money ran low at times and Ruthie Hock worked when it’s printed. for no pay. We gave her plenty of stock in the Te printer was none other than dear old Mr. Works Publishing of course. All you had to do is Blackwell, one of our Christian friends and Mr. tear it off the pad, par 25 have a week’s salary, dear. Blackwell said, "How much of a down payment are So, we got around to about January 1939. you going to make? How many books would you Somebody said, "Hadn’t we better test this thing like printed?" out; hadn’t we better make a pre-publication copy, a "Well," we said, "we’ll be conservative, let’s print Multilith or mimeographed copy of this text and a 5,000 just to start with." few of the personal stories that had come in - try it Mr. Blackwell asked us what we were going to out on the preacher, on the doctor, the Catholic use for money. We said that we wouldn’t need Committee on Publications, psychiatrists, much; just a few hundred dollars on account would policemen, fshwives, housewives, drunks, be all right. I told you; after all, we’re traveling in everybody. Just to see if we’ve got anything that goes very good company, friends of Mr. Rockefeller and against the grain anyplace and also to fnd out if we all that. can’t get some better ideas here?" So, Blackwell started printing the 5,000 books; So at considerable expense, we got this the plates were made and the galleys were read. Gee, pre-publication copy made; we peddled it around all of a sudden we thought of the Reader’s Digest, and comments came back, some of them very so we go up to there, walk in on Mr. Kenneth Paine helpful. It went, among other places, to the Catholic and say, "We’re all ready to shoot." Committee on Publications in New York and at And Mr. Paine replies "Shoot what - Oh yes, I that time we had only one Catholic member to take remember you two, Mr. Marcus and Mr. Wilson. it there and he had just gotten out of the asylum and You gentlemen were here last fall. I told you the hadn’t had anything to do with preparing the book. Reader’s Digest would be interested in this new Te book passed inspection and the stories came work and in your book. Well, right after you were in. Somehow we got them edited; somehow we got here, I consulted our editorial board and to my great the galleys together. We got up to the printing time. surprise they didn’t like the idea at all and I forgot Meanwhile, the drunks had been kind of slow on to tell you!" those subscription payments and a little further on I Oh boy, we had the drunks with 5,000 bucks in was able to go up to Charlie Towns where old Doc it, Charlie Towns hooked for 2,500 bucks and Silkworth held forth. Charlie believed in us so we $2,500 on the cuff with the printer. Tere was $500 put the slug on to Charlie for 2,500 bucks. Charlie left in the bank, what in the deuce would we do? didn’t want any stocks; he wanted a promissory note Morgan Ryan, the good-looking Irishman who on the book not yet written. had taken the book over to the Catholic Committee So, we got the $2,500 from Charlie routed on Publication, had been in an earlier time a good around through the Alcoholic Foundation so that it ad man. He said that he knew Gabriel Heatter. could be tax exempt. Also, we had blown $6,000 in "Gabriel is putting on these three minute heart to these nine months in supporting the three of us in heart programs on the radio. I’ll get an interview an office and the till was getting low. We still had to with him and maybe he’ll interview me on the radio get this book printed. So, we go up to Cornwall about all this," said Ryan. Press, which is the largest printer in the world, So, our spirits rose once again. Ten all of a where we’d made previous inquiries and we asked sudden we had a big chill, suppose this Irishman got about printing and they said they’d be glad to do it drunk before Heatter interviewed him? So, we went and how many books would we like? We said that to see Heatter and lo and behold, Heatter said he was hard to estimate. Of course our membership is would interview him and then we got still more very small at the present time and we wouldn’t sell scared. So, we rented a room in the downtown many to the membership but after all, the Reader’s

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Athletic Club and we put Ryan in there with a day moment, the house which Lois and I lived in was and night guard for ten days. foreclosed and we and our furniture were set out on Meanwhile, our spirits rose again. We could see the street. Such was the state of the book Alcoholics those books just going out in carloads. Ten my Anonymous and the state of grace the Wilson’s were promoter friend said, "Look, there should be a in in the summer of 1939. Moreover, a great cry follow-up on a big thing like this here interview. It’ll went up from the drunks, "What about our $4,500?" be heard all over the country... national network. I Even Charlie (Towns) who was pretty well off was a think folks that are the market for this book are the little uneasy about the note for $2,500. What would doctors, the physicians. I suggest that we pitch the we do? What could we do? We put our goods in last $500 that we have in the treasury on a postal storage on the cuff; we couldn’t even pay the card shower, which will go to every physician east of drayman. An AA lent us his summer camp, another the Rocky Mountains. On this postal card we’ll say AA lent us his car, and the folks around New York "Hear all about Alcoholics Anonymous on Gabriel began to pass the hat for groceries for the Wilson’s Heatter’s Program - spend $3.50 for the book and supplied us with $50 per month. So, we had a Alcoholics Anonymous, sure-cure for alcoholism." lot of discontented stockholders, $50 bucks a So, we spent the last $500 on the postal card shower month, a summer camp and an automobile with and mailed them out. which to revive the failing fortunes of the book Tey managed to keep Ryan sober although he Alcoholics Anonymous. since hasn’t made it. All the drunks had their ears We began to shop around from one magazine to glued to the radio. Te group market in Alcoholics another asking if they would give us some publicity, Anonymous was already saturated because you see, nobody bit and it looked like the whole dump was we had 49 stockholders and they’d all gotten a book going to be foreclosed; book, office, Wilson’s, free, then we had 28 guys with stories and they all everything. One of the boys in New York happened got a free book. So we had run out of the AA books. to be a little bit prosperous at the time and he had a But we could see the book moving out in carloads to fashionable clothing business on Fifth Avenue, these doctors and their patients. Sure enough, Ryan which we learned was mostly on mortgage, having is interviewed. Heatter pulled out the old tremolo drunk nearly all of it up. His name was Bert Taylor. stop and we could see the book orders coming back I went up to Bert one day and I said "Bert, there in carloads. is a promise of an article in Liberty Magazine, I just Well, we just couldn’t wait to go down to old got it today but it won’t come out until next Post Office Box 658, Church Street Annex, the September. It’s going to be called ‘Alcoholics and address printed in the back of the old books. We God’ and will be printed by Fulton Oursler the hung at it for about three days and then my friends editor of Liberty Magazine. Bert, when that piece is Hank and Ruthie Hock and I went over and we printed, these books will go out in carload lots. We looked in Box 658. It wasn’t a locked box; you just need 1,000 bucks to get us through the summer." looked through the glass. We could see that there Bert asked, "Well, are you sure that the article is were a few of these postal cards. I had a terrible going to be printed?" sinking sensation. But my friend the promoter said "Oh yes," I said, "that’s fnal." "Bill, they can’t put all those cards in the box, He said, "O.K., I haven’t got the dough but they’ve got bags full of it out there." We go to the there’s this man down in Baltimore, Mr. Cochran, clerk and he brings out 12 lousy postal cards, 10 of he’s a customer of mine, he buys his pants in here. them were completely illegible, written by doctors, Let me call him up." druggists, and monkeys? We had exactly two orders Bert gets on long-distance with Mr. Cochran in for the book Alcoholics Anonymous and we were Baltimore, a very wealthy man, and says to him absolutely and utterly stone-broke. "Mr. Cochran, from time to time I mentioned this Te Sheriff then moved in on the office, poor alcoholic fellowship to which I belong. Our Mr. Blackwell wondered what to do for money and fellowship has just come out with a magnifcent new felt like taking the book over at that very opportune textbook, a sure cure for alcoholism. Mr. Cochran,

– 175 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition this is something we think every public library in the bankers assembled 75 strong and in great America should have, and Mr. Cochran, the retail wealth, sat at the tables with the alcoholics. Te price of the book is $3.50. Mr. Cochran, if you’ll bankers had come probably for some sort of just buy a couple of thousand of those books and put command performance and they were a little them in the large libraries, of course we would sell suspicious that perhaps this was another prohibition them for that purpose at a considerable discount. deal, but they warmed up under the infuence of the “Mr. Cochran, some publicity will come out next alcoholics. fall about this new book Alcoholics Anonymous, but Mr. Ryan, the hero of the Heatter episode and in the meantime, these books are moving slowly and still sober, was asked at his table by a distinguished we need, say, $1,000 to tide us over. Would you banker, "Why, Mr. Ryan, we presumed you were in loan the Works Publishing Company this?” the banking business." Mr. Cochran asked what the balance sheet of the Ryan says, "Not at all sir, I just got out of Great Works Publishing Company looked like and after Stone Asylum." he learned what it looked like he said, "No thanks." Well, that intrigued the bankers and they were all So Bert then said, "Now Mr. Cochran, you know warming up. Unfortunately, Mr. Rockefeller me. Would you loan the money to me on the credit couldn’t get to the dinner. He was quite sick that of my business?" night so he sent his son, a wonderful gent, Nelson "Why certainly," Mr. Cochran said, "send me Rockefeller, in his place instead. After the show was down your note." over and everyone was in fne form, we were all So Bert hocked the business that a year or two ready again for the big touch. Nelson Rockefeller later was to go broke anyway and saved the book got up and speaking for his father said, "My father Alcoholics Anonymous. Te $1,000 lasted until the sends word that he is so sorry that he cannot be here Liberty article came out. Eight hundred inquiries tonight, but is so glad that so many of his friends came in as a result of that, we moved a few books can see the beginnings of this great and wonderful and we barely squeaked through the year 1939. In thing. Something that aﬀected his life more than all this period we heard nothing from John D. almost anything that had crossed his path." Rockefeller when all of a sudden, in about February A stupendous plug that was! Ten Nelson said, 1940, Mr. Richardson came to a trustees meeting of "Gentlemen, this is a work that proceeds on good the Foundation and announced that he had great will. It requires no money." news. We were told that Mr. Rockefeller, whom we Whereupon, the two billion dollars got up and had not heard from since 1937, had been watching walked out. Tat was a terrifc letdown, but we us all this time with immense interest. Moreover, weren’t let down for too long. Mr. Rockefeller wanted to give this fellowship a Again, the hand of Providence had intervened. dinner to which he would invite his friends to see Right after dinner, Mr. Rockefeller asked that the the beginnings of this new and promising start. talks and pamphlets be published. He approached Mr. Richardson produced the invitation list. the rather defunct Works Publishing Company and Listed were the President of Chase Bank, Wendell said he would like to buy 400 books to send to all of Wilkie, and all kinds of very prominent people, the bankers who had come to the dinner and to many of them extremely rich. I mean, after a quick those who had not. Seeing that this was for a good look at the list I fgured it would add up to a couple purpose, we let him have the books cheap. He of billion dollars. So, we felt maybe at least, you bought them cheaper than anybody has since. We know, there would be some money in sight. sold 400 books to John D. Rockefeller Jr. for one So, the dinner came, and we got Harry Emerson buck apiece to send to his banker friends. He sent Fosdick who had reviewed the AA book and he out the books and pamphlets and with it, he wrote a gave us a wonderful plug. Dr. Kennedy came and personal letter and signed every doggone one of spoke on the medical attitudes. He’d seen a patient them. In this letter he stated how glad he was that of his, a very hopeless gal (Marty Mann) recover. I his friends had been able to see the great beginning got up, talked about life among the "anonymie," and of what he thought would be a wonderful thing,

– 176 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition how deeply it had affected him and then he added He gave of himself when he was under public (unfortunately) "Gentlemen, this is a work of ridicule for his views about alcohol. He said to the goodwill. It needs little, if any, money. I am giving whole world "this is good." Te story went out on these good people $1,000." the wires all over the world. People ran into the So, the bankers all received Mr. Rockefeller’s bookstores to get the new book and boy, we really letter and counted it up on the cuff. Well, if John D. began to get some book orders. An awful lot of is giving $1,000, me with only a few million should inquiries came into the little office at Vessy Street. send these boys about $10! One who had an Te book money began to pay Ruth. We hired one alcoholic relative in tow sent us $300. So, with Mr. more to help. Tere was Ruthie, another gal and I. Rockefeller’s $1,000 plus the solicitation of all the And then came Jack Alexander with his terrifc rest of these bankers, we got together the princely article in the Saturday Evening Post. Ten an sum of $3,000 which was the frst outside immense lot of inquiries… 6,000 or 7,000 of them. contribution of the Alcoholic Foundation. Alcoholics Anonymous had become a national Te $3,000 was divided equally between Smithy institution. and me so that we could keep going somehow. We Such is the story of the preparation of the book solicited that dinner list for fve years and got about "Alcoholics Anonymous" and of its subsequent $3,000 a year for fve years. At the end of that time, effect you all have some notion. Te proceeds of that we were able to say to Mr. Rockefeller, "We don’t book have repeatedly saved the office in New York. need any more money. Te book income is helping But, it isn’t the money that has come out of it that to support our office, the groups are contributing to matters; it is the message that it carried. Tat fll in and the royalties are taking care of Dr. Bob transcended the mountains and the sea and is even and Bill Wilson." at this moment, lighting candles in dark caverns and Now you see Mr. Rockefeller’s decision not to on distant beaches. give us money was a blessing. He gave of himself.

Tis article is a transcript of the talk given by Bill Wilson in Dallas, TX in 1955. Te actual recording is available at http://sponsormagazine.info/reader.html.

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Early Recovery Rates

In great angst and superiority, old timers the frst women came to get sober, it was complain that we are doing things wrong - that in controversial. Te frst African-American was a the beginning, AA had a 75% success rate. Today transvestite drug addict who wanted to get sober various current Recovery rates run between 5% and and single-handedly kicked down the door so that 35% (depending on the source or the viewpoint of many minorities were able to join the fellowship, the speaker). although he himself did not stay sober. Te frst question that is raised in this argument Before going to the frst meeting, you had to is how the statistics on an anonymous Recovery have a Sponsor and have done the work of what we group were collected. Various numbers and would now call the frst six steps. percentages are thrown about regarding the number So the early success rate is counting only people represented by this growth. But how do we draw who; numbers from simple requests from the New York Were male (later joined by a few women); oﬃce. Were white; We have to assume: Were from the upper classes; Tat the voluntary responses were accurate (would anyone in Recovery fudge numbers, make Had gone through a medical detox; their numbers larger to show how well they were Who knew “someone who knew someone” to doing, or report low end so as not to appear locate and get into a meeting (and there prideful?); were only two meetings anywhere at the Tat all of the groups responded; time - Akron and New York); Tat the changing population within the group Were Protestant Christian, or willing to would relfect accurate numbers, likely to change become one (most early Oxford Group within days of mailing a response to New York; members were Episcopal, Lutheran, or Methodist); Tat existing groups would remain in existence Had already admitted their alcoholism; (and if a group died, did they report that as well?); Had found their personal Higher Power or concept of God; Tat all new groups were reporting; Had already turned their life over to the care of It must also be remembered that early AA was that concept of God; not like the current fellowship. Had detailed their previous misdeeds and Members could only be admitted to the actions in an Inventory; fellowship after a medical detox. Te frst time someone wanted to join who had not gone through Had shared that Inventory with their Sponsor; the medical detox was a source of great confict. Had come to see their own defects in what had Early members were almost exclusively older, gone wrong in their life. white, professional males. Tese were the “upper At that point, they were admitted to their frst crust” of society the Oxford Group attracted. When meeting, on their knees in Prayer to have their

– 178 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition defects removed, and subject to the approval of the edition also became open to more stories from existing members of the group. women and minorities. Of the people who had jumped through all “Following the directions” is more than just a these hoops, they then say 75% stayed sober or pass through the Twelve Steps, but it incorporates showed signifcant improvement from their frst into our daily life the lessons and principles found in meeting. Te real number of people who failed to the Steps. We achieve that by repetition and reach the point of getting to a group may never be constantly looking at how the tools we have been known. given can be used over and over again. Bill Wilson wrote with some concern how fear Bill and Bob reviewed the progress of their of losing what they found had prevented them from groups and reviewed their success rate. Diﬀerent the kind of outreach AA now takes for granted. sources gave results from 5% to 35% actually Today, meetings are available to anyone who looks, remaining sober. Current medical tracking indicates or has someone who cares enough to provide them from 31% to 37% of AAs attending maintain with a meeting time and location. New people can long-term sobriety, and the survey fgures from fnd AA in the phone book; they can be directed to AA’s World Service give similar results. a meeting by a doctor, a judge, or a clergyman; or But even those numbers defy the terminal they may simply fnd AA through friends or family nature of alcoholism over the previous history of members who are already sober. mankind. Te Twelve Step system, if followed, Bill kept track of the people whose stories proved to provide the frst substantial success for any appear in the First Edition of the book Alcoholics system of fnding and maintaining long-term Anonymous, and noted the fate of those whose sobriety. stories had appeared in the frst edition of the Big And, again, how are those number generated? Book. When you go to an AA meeting, do you check in In addition to Dr. Bob’s story, thirty-two with anyone or report to the New York oﬃce to additional personal accounts of Recovery were inform them that you are attending? published. Of these, twenty-one members went It should also be remembered that with the back out. Seven died drunk, but the others made it exception of those few with signifcant religious or back for a second chance at Recovery. spiritual experiences, as indicated by Dr. Jung, there Hank Parkhurst, the man who made it possible had been no system of getting anyone sober, and for the book to appear, was one of those who died alcoholics had been doomed to a prolonged, drunk. agonizing death by the dissipation of the body and Te lesson of the book has been that anyone, spirit alcoholism created, or the violent death anywhere, who is willing to follow the directions, alcoholics can bring upon themselves through their can fnd and keep sobriety. actions during drinking episodes. When time came for a Second Edition, the It keeps us aware that anyone getting, and stories in the back were changed partially to remaining sober, is a miracle by all spiritual and eliminate the stories of those who relapsed - they religious standards, and a “deviation” from previous could not know what part of their story had opened expectations by scientifc standards. the door to those relapses and didn’t want to It should always keep us grateful. condemn others to the same path. Te second

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Stories in Different Editions

Tere have been various stories about why drugs and problems other than alcoholism were diﬀerent stories are included in the back of the either deleted or revised. Big Book. For example, “Doctor, Addict, Alcoholic” In the frist edition there were thirty-two became “Physician Heal Tyself.” Te author’s stories, in addition to Te Doctor’s Nightmare reference to his problem with drugs, in addition to (Dr. Bob’s story). Of these stories, twenty-one alcohol, was not deleted but the title eliminated relapsed. Seven of them died drunk. Te rest the reference to the non-alcohol specifc nature of made it back and found sobriety that carried them his story. through the rest of their lives. References to ‘sedatives’ or ‘pep pills’ were not When the time came for a Second Edtion, the eliminated from Bill or Dr. Bob’s personal stories. decision was made to not re-share the stories of Why some members of the fellowship may people who had relapsed. Tere was a fear that object to this seeming restriction of the defnition, something in their story made their relapse was best explained by one speaker. She said: possible. “I have problems other than alcohol, but when So new stories were chosen and in those I am speaking an at AA meeting, I restrict my stories the examples of a wider spectrum of people references to alcohol. Tat does not mean I deny in Recovery became possible. the wider scope of what is necessary for my When time came for a Tird Edition, the Recovery, but it means I will never be responsible diversity of stories was increased. for an alcoholic leaving his or her frst meeting And the Fourth Edition, the current edition saying to themself ‘I don’t belong in AA - I never at this writing, it was in a diﬀerent world. In smoked crack.’ addtion to Alcoholics Anonymous there were over “Singleness of purpose keeps our story sixty other programs using the 12-Step system for focused, but one to one we must be honest with Recovery from various substances and behaviors. all of what our needs for Recovery include. Tat is Citing the ‘singleness of purpose’ references to why we talk with our Sponsor and our companions on the road of happy destiny.”

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BIG BOOK STUDY GROUP, SOUTH ORANGE, NEW JERSEY

The First 25 AA Groups

1. Ohio: Akron (June/July 1935) 2. New York City (Fall of 1935) 3. Ohio: Cleveland - Abby G. Group (May 11, 1939) 4. New Jersey: Te New Jersey Group (May 14, 1939) 5. Connecticut: Greenwich Blythewood Sanitarium (June 1939) 6. Illinois: Chicago (September 13, 1939) 7. Ohio: Cleveland – Borton Group (November 16, 1939) 8. Ohio: Cleveland – Orchard Grove (November 20, 1939) 9. Washington, D.C. (December 1939) 10. California: San Francisco (December 1939) 11. California: Los Angeles (December 19, 1939) 12. New York: Orangeburg - Rockland State Hospital (December 1939) 13. Michigan: Detroit (December 1939) 14. Pennsylvania: Philadelphia (February 13, 1940) 15. Texas: Houston (March 15, 1940) 16. Arkansas: Little Rock (April 19, 1940) 17. Indiana: Evansville (April 23, 1940) 18. Ohio: Cleveland – West 50th Street Group (May 8, 1940) 19. Virginia: Richmond (June 6, 1940) 20. Maryland: Baltimore (June 16, 1940) 21. Ohio: Dayton (July 8, 1940) 22. Ohio: Cleveland – Berea (August 27, 1940) 23. Ohio: Cleveland – Westlake (September 20, 1940) 24. Ohio: Toledo (September 1940) 25. Ohio: Youngstown (September 1940)

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Before AA The Washingtonians Springfield, Illinois, 22 February 1842 During the early 19th Century, six drunks But the rising popularity of the from a bar in Baltimore, MD decided they would Washingtonians attracted the wider Temperance go to a local Temperance lecture and heckle the movement and they stopped being a society of speaker from the audience. After the lecture, they drunks helping other drunks stay sober, and returned to the bar and discovered that they could became a society lecturing on the evils of alcohol stop their own drinking if they talked with each and later, other evils. other about the reasons they felt they drank. Founded on the success of the original People moved away and started new groups in Washingtonian group, the new Washingtonians other cities. Visitors became impressed with the crusaded in the war of Temperance on King success of the new non-drinkers and carried the Alcohol. Teir popularity grew until, in 1852, idea to still more groups that were started. By they claimed to have fve million people to have 1842, a large network of these meetings existed signed the Pledge, but you did not have to be an across the US and they decided to have a day of alcoholic to sign the Pledge. A Pledge was simply celebration. Letters went out declaring: a paper that said you did not support the a) Te groups would be known as the manufacture, sale, distribution, or use of alcohol. Washingtonians (named for Martha School children and others signed, but a block of Washington, known for her temperance fve million could have a great deal of political leanings) and importance. b) on George Washington’s birthday (February Te Washingtonians expanded beyond 22, 1842) they would hold a national day alcohol, to spread themselves to the issues of of celebration. Groups were encouraged to slavery, pro and con; the gold standard, pro and host a picnic with speakers and general con; and the admission of Texas to the Union, pro fellowship. and con. Te speaker at the Springfeld, IL meeting Tey argued in their meetings, their public was a young Abraham Lincoln, who is recorded as lectures fourished, then declined when the public saying: tired of the public arguments. All of the good that “If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their could have been done was destroyed by their lack heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous of unity. By 1861, at the start of the Civil War, comparison with those of any other class. Tere they were gone. You could not fnd a seems ever to have been a proneness in the Washingtonian group. Tey had died away. brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice. We will never know how many alcoholics Te demon of intemperance ever seems to have were lost because we do not know how many of delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity.” Abraham Lincoln, the fve million were actually alcoholics, but all the to the Washington Temperance Society,

– 182 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition good they had done was swept away with the Tis new group was dubbed “Te Jacoby failure of that early fellowship. Club” under the patronage of rubber merchant Bill Wilson did not know about the Ernest Jacoby, with weekly “Men Meeting Men” Washingtonians when AA was frst forming. He group sessions for alcoholics in the church came to the conclusion the Washingtonians failed basement. because of their lack of unity and lack of focus. It was members of the Jacoby Club who told Te groups competed with each other for the businessman mentioned in the Big Book members. Tey debated issues in public, and (Rowland Hazard) that there was nothing they divided along the pros and cons of those issues. had to offer that would help him. It was their suggestion that Rowland enter real psychiatric The Emmanuel Movement therapy with a real therapist if he hoped to ever In 1906, the Emmanuel Episcopal Church, fnd and maintain sobriety. under the direction of Dr. Elwood Worcester and Te Jacoby Club continued until 1989, but the Dr. Samuel McComb, began a new ministry to availability of Alcoholics Anonymous, made its combine psychiatry and spirituality in the weekly sessions unnecessary. treatment of a dreaded disease of the time – tuberculosis. Tuberculosis (or TB) was rampant The Oxford Group and had the same emotional impact on families Frank Buchman, an Episcopal minister from and neighbors as AIDS had in the late 20th the United States and serving at a boy’s school in Century. Tis group was dubbed Te Emmanuel Keswick England, had a conversion experience Movement and began a group he dubbed “A Century Victims of the disease were shunned, isolated, Christian Fellowship.” Under his leadership, the and abandoned. Fear of contracting the disease group took teams of like-minded believers to dictated public policy and private conduct. Te China, Africa, India, and the United States. Te victims were generally left to die on their own. group functioned as they imagined believers lived But the Emmanuel movement taught that in the 1st Century. Tey received no salaries, held with a combination of psychiatry and their focus no positions, and were dependent on their on faith, it was possible to live a life and be fellowship for food, shelter, and transportation. restored to the maximum productivity possible, Fortunately, Oxford Group members were very even with the disease. well situated and were seldom lacking for When they met with success with their “class” accommodations. for victims of TB, they opened their class to While a group of the First Century Christian “emotional problems” and a signifcant portion of Fellowship travelled in South Africa, a reporter the people who attended (some estimates say asked a train porter how to fnd them. Te man 80%) were alcoholic. Te combination of responded, “Oh, you mean the Oxford Group,” spirituality and psychiatry proved to be effective in indicating the luggage which had Oxford getting these newcomers sober and help them stenciled on all the bags. Te reporter used that remain sober using the movements method. name to refer to the group and it stuck. Te group was unlike other forms of The Jacoby Club evangelism in that it targeted and directed its To their credit, and unlike the failed efforts to the "up and outers,” the elites and Washingtonian movement of the mid-19th wealthy of society. It made use of publicity Century, the Emmanuel movement did not try to regarding its prominent converts, and was put all its eggs in one basket and created a new caricatured as a "Salvation Army for snobs." sub-group specifcally for alcoholics. – 183 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Buchman's message did not challenge the status While perfection was not likely, the need to quo and thus aided the Group's popularity among struggle in that direction was still necessary. the well-to-do. Buchman made the cover of Time THE FIVE CS Magazine as "Cultist Frank Buchman: God is a Te Oxford Group also taught “Five Cs” to Millionaire" in 1936. For a U.S. headquarters, he illustrate their program of spiritual growth. built a multimillion-dollar establishment on Michigan’s Macinac Island, with room for 1,000 Confdence visitors. From Caux to London's Berkeley Square Confession to New York's Westchester County layouts, Conviction Buchman and his followers had the best. In Conversion response to criticism, Buchman had an answer, Continuance "Isn't God a millionaire?" Buchman became a favorite of highly-placed THE PRACTICES men and women and frequently held audiences Members of the Oxford Group had several with presidents, kings, and world leaders. After daily practices that they used to maintain their meeting with Buchman, Mahatma Gandhi told focus and their growth. reporters “people need to listen to this man. He Quiet Time – a period of quiet meditation, has the frst great idea to come out of the West.” refection, and prayer, usually every After a meeting with Adolph Hitler, who morning. Buchman had hoped to convert, the Oxford Guidance – the process of praying, meditating, Group received negative publicity as Nazi and when you felt your prayer had been sympathizers. Te Oxford University demanded answered with “Guidance” or direction for they stop calling themselves “the Oxford Group” your actions, you checked your Guidance with other people, lest your Ego deceive you and the name was changed to “Moral into inappropriate action. Re-Armament,” the MRA. AA has continued stressing the practices of With the death of Frank Buchman in 1961, daily quiet time for prayer and meditation, but the group lost much of its reputation on the world successful members also report some sort of stage, although it still exists under the name ‘checking’ also be used, either through meetings Initiatives of Change (www.us.iofc.org/). or one-on-one discussions with a Sponsor or Members of what would become AA were other members. members of the Oxford Group and we owe much of our structure and methods to that earlier group. A SHORT HISTORY OF THE OXFORD GROUP Te original name of the group was “Te First Members of the Oxford Group were given Century Christianity Association.” It was founded several sets of guidelines to be used in their in 1927 by Frank Buchman, a American Lutheran personal spirituality. minister at Oxford University in England. THE FOUR ABSOLUTES Te structure of the organization was Te Oxford Group taught a focus on a completely voluntary. Tey did not have paid personal relationship to God through an effort to positions for speakers, preachers, or staff, but were achieve Four Absolutes. dependent on the generosity of members and Absolute Purity friends to provide for costs of organization, Absolute Honesty transportation, food, lodging and facilities for Absolute Unselfshness public events. Tis principle of avoiding paid Absolute Love – 184 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition positions served the group well and allowed “Oxford Group”. Te First Century Christianity missions to visit nations around the world. Association became “Moral Re-Armament” in Membership was composed of mostly upper 1939. class people. While most missionary movements Rowland Hazard, the man who had been are aimed at the “Down and Out”, the focus of treated by Carl Jung in Switzerland, came to join this organization was for the “Up and Out”. the Oxford Group for his own spiritual process. Local groups affiliated with the “OG” would He later introduced Ebbie Tacher to the Oxford host ‘house parties’ in the homes of individual Group meetings and methods. members. Tey did occasionally rent public venues Ebbie then carried the group’s teachings to for larger events. Bill Wilson. Bill Wilson is recognized as a Te group was dubbed Te Oxford Group by co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous and began a South African reporter. When he went to a train attending the Oxford Group with his wife, Lois in station to interview members of the First Century 1938. Christianity Association, the porter handling the Bill Wilson, after a failed business trip to group’s luggage said, “You mean the Oxford Akron, Ohio, connected Dr. Robert Smith (“Dr. group”. He was referring to the group’s luggage, Bob”) through fellow Oxford Group member all clearly marked with “Oxford Group” stencil on Henrietta Seiberling on Mother’s Day, 1939. each case. Te reporter used the name and it After one relapse, Dr. Bob got sober and became the popular way of identifying the new remained sober using the Oxford Group fellowship. fellowship and teachings. Both Bill and Bob CHANGES IN THE OXFORD GROUP NAME continued their active participation in the Oxford “People need to listen to this man (Buchanan). He Groups until the separation of Alcoholics has the frst great idea to come out of the West.” Anonymous as an independent organization in 1939. - Mohandas Gandhi When the writing of the Big Book, Alcoholics Frank Buchman met with the highest levels of Anonymous, began all members of what would governments and members of the ‘upper classes’. become the AA fellowship were still participants Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings and wealthy of the Oxford Group meetings. families attended his public talks. Buchman was followed by the press reporting on his public and In the early twenty-frst century “Moral private meetings with world leaders. Re-Armament” was renamed “Initiatives of Change” and can be reached today through After an attempt by Buchman to convert ioc.org. It lists the creation of Alcoholics Adolph Hitler resulted in bad publicity. Oxford Anonymous as a major accomplishment in its University objected to the implied association history. between the university and Buchman’s Group. Tey demanded Buchman stop using the name

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Birth of the Big Book

Te only meetings were in New York (under founders began their recoveries were not at a point the direction of Bill Wilson) and Akron, OH where they no longer had those resources. A (under the tutelage of Dr. Bob Smith). hospital would also create a new danger with Correspondence between the meetings developed positions, names of letterheads, budgets, and three primary ideas to spread the word. public prestige. Option b) was not chosen. Te Big Book was created by a vote of the young fellowship while it was still identifed as Option c) would mean the publication of a part of the Oxford Group and after discussions book to outline the AA process and would include with sober alcoholics in that fellowship. stories of the members. Option c) was chosen. In 1938, the “alcoholic squad” wanted to fnd Big Book Development a way to share their message to other alcoholics seeking sobriety. Tree options were considered. Bill Wilson fancied himself a writer. When the question of a book for the young fellowship a) AA Missionaries came up, he began work on his own story, which b) AA Facilities (hospitals, etc.) would, of course, open the book. c) AA Book. Te frst man Bill helped get sober in New Option a) would include paid “missionaries” York was a businessman named Hank Parkhurst. to carry the word of their system of Recovery from Hank was running a car polish company out of city to city. It was voted down because the newly New Jersey and had, among his skills from an sober drunks had not listened to any other type of erratic background, the knowledge of how to missionary effort to get them sober. It would also “package” a book. Tis means to coordinate a create a paid, “professional” class of AAs who writer, an editor, a typesetter, a printer, a bindery, would be perceived as setting themselves above and a distributor to produce a book from the the common drunks they were trying to help. Tis beginning until it was available for people to buy option was not chosen. at newsstands. When Hank saw what Bill had written he sat Option b) would include a new hospital that down and wrote out an outline of what needed to would offer counseling, medical detox, and be in the book and in what order. He then made fnancial services, taking in drunks at one end and his secretary at the auto polish office available to sending recovered alcoholics out into the Bill to type up what Bill wrote out in longhand. community with their new, spiritual foundation to Hank then kept after Bill to complete the repair the damage they had done to their families manuscript while encouraging many other and communities. members of the fellowship to write out their own But a new hospital would restrict the Recovery stories (the beginning of the personal stories at effort to those who could afford another hospital, the back of each edition of the book). and most of the drunks at the level where our – 186 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

While the book was being written, Bill and copies back with suggestions for change. But Hank tried to drum up interest in the book with many of the suggestions were the same. publishers. Tey did receive an offer from Harper It should be understood that among the & Row to publish the book, and were offered an fellowship in those early Oxford Group were advance against royalties of $1500. many “traveling men.” Traveling salesman was a Te offer convinced Bill and Hank that there common profession, so men who had gotten sober was real potential in the sale of the book. Fifteen in New York or Akron were responding from hundred dollars was more than most working wherever they were on the road. people made in a year. Te two began to develop a Responses and edits came from beyond New plan to publish the book themselves to allow York and Akron, thanks to these traveling men. control over what was published and to keep all Copies were returned from Boston, Chicago, the income for themselves. Detroit, St. Louis, Baltimore, and more. While Bill was still writing, he and Hank A pattern developed that surprised the created Works Publishing, Inc., and sold stock in authors. Although the dozens of responders were the new company. separated in time and space, their comments Te “stock” consisted of a pad of blank stock shared the same ideas in the same sections of the certifcates purchased from a local stationery store original manuscript. and on which they wrote “Works Publishing, Te decision was made to record all these Inc.” and valued the stock at $25 each. changes in one copy of the Multilith edition, and Many members purchased stock by paying in despite the lack of direct communication between installments as low as 50¢ per month. the members making comment, they came to the same conclusions at the same point. The Multilith Big Book Tis proved to be the beginning of what was When the manuscript was fnished, Hank later called “group conscience,” but the changes to thought he had a way to make some money off the document were recorded in one copy, which the unpublished book. He had 400 copies can still be found in the AA World Service Office reproduced in a cheap, water-based printing archives. Te changes to these few sections were system called “Multilith.” His plan was to raise so intense that the typesetter was unable to read cash by selling these copies of the manuscript for the manuscript when the time came to cast the $3.50 each, with a promise that the buyer would lead type for publication. get a copy of the hardcover as soon as it was published. Te most signifcant comment appears to be from Bill’s personal psychiatrist, who suggested No one bought a single copy of the the original fnger-wagging-in-your-face tone of manuscript. Bill’s frst draft be changed to a simpler, So, in January 1939, the decision was made to invitational manner. circulate these copies to the fellowship for review. “You” and “You must” became “we” and a Every sober member of the program, their wives description of “what we did.” It was possible for (and husbands, because women were getting sober the drunk seeking Recovery to go through the by now), and any professional willing to comment book without feeling attacked. Tey were able to on the book, received a copy. Tose professionals choose to do what the people in the book did, or included doctors, ministers, business not, with knowledge of the result if they refused professionals, and spouses of sober members. to do what was required. Te 400 copies went out in January and in less than 60 days they received almost half of the

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Not one copy of the book was sold. Te $3.50 church archdioceses. Some local Bishops went so cost was exorbitant. At that time, a steak breakfast far as threatening excommunication to Catholics was 35¢, a movie matinee was 20¢, a lunch with who participated in Oxford Group ‘public two hotdogs and a cup of soda was 10¢, and a confession’. week in a reputable rooming house with your own If there were any other religions involved in bed and breakfast and dinner for seven days was those early days, they kept a low profle – we have $3.50. found no evidence of early non-Christian With the unsold copies of the manuscript participation. sitting in the New Jersey oﬃce, the decision was When the idea of a book was circulated, a made to send out copies to everyone active in the small but vocal minority within the program program at that time. Tose trying to get sober, wanted an inclusion for people who were not their wives, interested doctors, ministers, and within the identifed religion of the frst anyone else interested was invited to review the generation of Recoverees. Some were Jews, some manuscript and make comments. were Buddhist, others were Atheists. Over time Within 60 days, the comments came in and even more participation would come from focused on the language. Bill Wilson’s therapist, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, ‘Red Road’ (followers Dr. Harry Tiebout, made the successful argument of American native religion) and people who that the tone of the volume was too threatening. could not defne their spiritual path at all. Te manuscript was changed from the harsh Modern research has shown that the ‘path’ direction of “You must do this” to the invitation leading to the many 12-Step Programs today to try “what we have done.” actually began in an 18th Century Delaware Te idea “if you want what we have you can native program requiring abstinence from alcohol do the things we have done,” or “do the work and through a focus on spiritual principles and the get the result” became standard in AA continued 19th Century native prophet sobreity presentation. movements. Hank Parkhurst negotiated with Cornwall With the inclusion of “As We Understood Printers in Cornwall, NY to typeset, print, and Him” into the Steps, the authors of the Big Book bind the book Alcoholics Anonymous in their allowed people to face their problem as alcholics “down” time, and the printer allowed Hank to frst and determine their spiritual path later. In pick up copies of the bound book on a cash basis. the Traditions, a decade later, it was expanded in Cornwall warehoused the book and did not the Tird Tradition - “Te only requirement for release anything that was not paid for before it left membership was the desire to stop drinking.” the shop. Today there are 12-Step Programs that Despite his importance to the early fellowship, require adherence to a specifc religion, or a Hank did not stay sober. He endured years of specifc allegience to not being in a religion. Tey relapse and Recovery and fnally died drunk. are not in confict with mainstream Alcoholics Anonymous, but may misrepresent the 12-Step Opening the ‘God’ Door Recovery program as only functioning through a Everyone involved in the Oxford Group specifc religion. before the separation into Alcoholics Anonymous Te protection in current membership and the was a Christian. Tey were all white, mostly male open door policy of our Program was started with and predominatly Episcopalian, Lutheran or the additions to the wording of the Steps – “as we Methodist. Catholics were actually barred from understood Him.” attending Oxford Group meetings by their own

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Separation from the Oxford Group more conservative members low opinion of the In 1938, Clarence Snyder, a low-bottom alcoholics they found in their midst. alcoholic from Cleveland, OH, arrived in Akron On May 10th, shortly after his talk with Dr. to get sober with Dr. Bob and his Oxford Group Bob, who was his Sponsor, the tension was very “alcoholic squad.” His sister’s children used Bill high and Clarence decided he’d had enough. He Wilson’s brother-in-law as their pediatrician, and announced, “Tomorrow night, in Cleveland, we it was his discussion of Bill’s success with his will have the frst meeting not associated with the alcohol problem that encouraged Clarence’s Oxford Group. It will be based on this book, family to send him to Akron. Alcoholics Anonymous, and we will study what is Clarence became sober with Dr. Bob and in this book!” eventually was able to return to Akron, where In one move, Clarence established AA as a another man getting sober with Dr. Bob allowed separate fellowship, and the focus on a Big Book Clarence to stay in his home in Cleveland. study. Te following night, Tursday, March 18, Clarence arrived in time to receive a Multilith 1939, the frst AA meeting was held in Cleveland. copy of the Big Book manuscript. Clarence also changed the meaning of When he returned to Cleveland, he tried to “Sponsor” to what we use today. Originally, a organize a new group, but found that most of the “Sponsor” was the man who agreed to cosign your alcoholics he encountered were Catholics, and the detox bill at St. Tomas Hospital in Akron, who local archdiocese had declared that the Oxford then agreed to work with you on, what we would Group was not appropriate for Catholics. In fact, now call, the “frst Six Steps,” and then took the some Catholics who attended the Oxford Group new man to his frst Oxford Group meeting. were threatened with excommunication. Tere was no open meeting list for the Oxford When he returned to Cleveland, Clarence Group and you had to “know someone” to get in. wanted to form a new group but found that the Te Sponsor was ensuring that if you broke or men he encountered who wanted to get sober stole something, he would be responsible. were Catholic. Te local Catholic archdiocese had Clarence changed the defnition of Sponsor to threatened excommunication for members who mean one man (or woman, now that women were attended Oxford Group meetings. getting sober, too) with some experience in the Te archdiocese for Akron had not made that program working with a newcomer. same determination so Clarence loaded his group Tis system worked to grow Cleveland of drunks into some cars and headed down to meetings at a rate which surprised Bill and Bob. Akron each Wednesday for their Oxford Group At the end of 1939, there was one meeting in meeting with Dr. Bob. Akron, New York City and one meeting, and During this time, the friction between the Cleveland had three meetings. In the frst few Akron Oxford Group and the growing, recovering months of 1940, two additional meetings formed community was increasing. One man told Dr. in Cleveland. Bob “You are glorying in your sin – my tobacco is Clarence was abrasive, actively disliked the every bit the sin your alcohol is.” Traditions, always introduced himself with his last Dr. Bob’s response was simple; “Your tobacco name, and introduced himself frequently as “the will not send you to the prison, the madhouse, or man who founded AA.” the gutter.” But he has been slighted in some AA Clarence had discussed his growing hisotries. He deserves recognition for his resentment at the resistance of the Oxford group’s contributions for shaping our meetings, book

– 189 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition studies, and Sponsorship as they are now enjoyed newcomer upstairs to confrm that this candidate by the world wide fellowship. was an actual “member” of the group. Evolution of Sponsorship Clarence was responsible for changing this defnition of Sponsor to a much simpler “someone We to recognize recognize the signifcant who is ahead of you in the program and willing to guidance Clarence Snyder of Cleveland, OH, show you what they had done,” which is what we provided the model for what we now call think of a Sponsor to be now. Sponsorship. With Clarence’s infuence, the Cleveland In the Oxford Group, your Sponsor was the Plain Dealer newspaper ran articles on Alcoholics man who cosigned for your admission into Anonymous (written by a member of Clarence’s medical detox. Drunks were notorious for not group), the archdiocese approved the non-Oxford paying their bills and without a cosigner, the Group fellowship as appropriate for Catholics, hospital would not admit them for alcoholism. and the Cleveland Fellowship grew at a rate that Remember, at this time alcoholism was not a surprised Bill and Bob. recognized disease and most admissions were for “gastric distress.” In 1938, there were two groups; one in Akron and one in New York. In 1939, there were fve; Te Sponsor then worked with the new man three groups formed quickly in Cleveland without on what we would now call the frst Six Steps. Bill or Bob to guide them. And with Clarence’s According to Clarence S., their frst responsibility push, the new form of focusing on the Steps and was helping the new man fnd his faith as a the use of the Big Book for new members was Christian. introduced. Tis means that before the new man10 went By January of 1940, two more groups had to his frst meeting, he had to be in a hospital formed in Cleveland and as another landmark, the detox with a Sponsor visiting to guide him and Cleveland Service Committee was the frst service quiet time with Prayer and Meditation had been structure designed to serve AA. established. He worked with a Sponsor successfully to admit his own alcoholism, turned When the Saturday Evening Post article by his life and will over to his new understanding of Jack Alexander appeared in 1941, it was estimated God or a Higher Power, made Inventory of his there were 400 members in the three cities (or past, shared it with his Sponsor, and became traveling across the country for their jobs with one willing to have his defects removed. of those three cities as their base) who could count a year of sobriety or more. Immediately after the You could not simply “go to a meeting.” Tere appearance of the article, the membership jumped was no meeting guide. You had to know someone from 400 to over 6,000. who knew where a meeting was being held.. Te Sponsor also took responsibility for the man he Te new groups were founded on the Big brought to the meeting. If the new man broke or Book for use as a group study focus and personal stole something, it was for the Sponsor to set it work on the Steps. Tere were so many new right. people that there were not enough Sponsors to serve everyone, and several of the fellowships Te new man entered his frst meeting of the began “Newcomer” or “Beginner” classes to fellowship on his knees, praying with the group to introduce the new people to the tools of the have his defects removed. It was also common in program, the use of the Big Book, the Steps, and Akron for the “old men” of the group to take the getting into the new life.

10 Early members of what would become AA were all men. Te story and process for women was later found to be the same as for men. – 190 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te Recovery Reader is intended to follow Tere were so many new members; there were that trail of shared education, and study. not enough Sponsors to work with the new members. Te “Class” was developed in several Explosive Growth different areas at about the same time. In 1940, a reporter for the Saturday Evening Committees formed to establish local service Post was assigned the story to investigate offices around the country, and many independent Alcoholics Anonymous. Te author, Jack groups issued their own Recovery oriented Alexander, was a muckraker who had just exposed materials, such as 24 Hours a Day, the Eye the corruption in the mineworker’s union and Opener, Stools and Bottles, and more than a fully expected to fnd another major scam in dozen beginner class outlines. progress. Much of the material for this class had been He attended a few meetings and shortly taken from the 1940s writings of the Akron became an avid supporter of AA. His article Group, the Cleveland Service Committee, and the appeared in the March 17, 1941 issue of the beginners’ classes documented in many cities. Saturday Evening Post, one of the most popular Hundreds of new groups were founded by magazines of the era. individual alcoholics who ordered a copy of the As a result of the article, the membership of book Alcoholics Anonymous from the New York AA exploded from approximately 400 at the time service office, now dubbed the WSO (World the article appeared, to over 6,000 in just a few Service Office), who proceeded to get sober and weeks. seek out other alcoholics to work with.

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BAREFOOTSWORLD.NET.

Big Book Names & Dates From the First 188 Pages of the Big Book PREFACE 2ND ED xxvii – Bill Wilson one of the leading contributors xv – Bill Wilson & Dr. Bob during a talk between a of this book NY stockbroker & Akron physician (they first xxxi – Hank Parkhurst man brought in to be treated met on 5/12/35) for chronic alcoholism xvi – Ebby Thacher alcoholic friend in contact with xxxi – Fitz Mayo another case, had hid in a barn Oxford Group xvi – Dr. Silkworth (named) NY specialist in BILL'S STORY - BILL WILSON alcoholism 1 – Winchester Cathedral Bill Wilson has a spiritual xvi – Bill Wilson The broker experience ("Here I stood on the edge of the xvi – Dr. Bob the Akron physician abyss into which thousands were falling that very day. A feeling of despair settled down on xvii – Bill Dotson AA#3 (sober date was 6/26/35, me - where was He - why did He not come - Bill Wilson & Dr. Bob first visited him on and suddenly in that moment of darkness, He 6/28/35) was there. I felt an all-enveloping, comforting, xvii-xviii - Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick (named) powerful presence. Tears stood in my eyes, and noted clergyman as I looked about, I saw on the faces of others xviii – Fulton Oursler (named) editor of Liberty nearby, that they too had glimpsed the great xviii – John Rockefeller Jr. (named) gave dinner reality.") xviii – Jack Alexander (named) wrote Saturday 1 – Thomas Thetcher an old tombstone (the name Evening Post article of the Hampshire Grenadier) xix – Traditions all Twelve Traditions mentioned 1 – a special token Upon leaving France the men of xx – Recovery rate from 1939-1955 Of alcoholics his [Bill Wilson's] battery paid him special who came to AA & really tried, 50% got sober honor. His letter of January 3, 1919, read: at once & remained that way; 25% sobered up "Quite a touching thing happened yesterday. after some relapses, and among the remainder, The men presented Captain Sackville and me those who stayed on with AA showed each with a watch, chain and ring. The whole improvement battery was lined up, and I tell you it was equal DOCTOR'S OPINION to promotion and decoration by J. J. Pershing (was page 1 in the frst edition of the Big Book) himself! Coming as it did from a clear sky, it was quite overwhelming. Wouldn't have changed xxv-xxxii Dr. William D. Silkworth well known insignia with a brigadier general. It means so doctor (worked at Towns Hospital, N.Y.C.) much more than promotion. Insofar as I know, xxv – Bill Wilson patient he regarded as hopeless we are the only people in the regiment who xxvii – Nine years experience Dr. Silkworth had have been so honored. I'm sure you will be as nine years of experience with alcoholics & drug happy and proud as I am." addicts when he wrote this

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4 – Penick & Ford XYZ-32 (stock) (Penick & Ford 9 – Shep C,Rowland H,Cebra G two? (three) men is a corn products company, it went from 52 to appeared in court (Shep Cornell, Rowland 32 in 1 day) Hazzard & Cebra Graves) August 1934 4 – Dick Johnson friend in Montreal (worked at 9 – chartered an airplane January 1929, from Albany Greenshields & Co., a brokerage house) N.Y. to newly opened Manchester Vt. 10 Fayette 4 – 1930 By the following spring Griffith (Bill's) grandfather 10 Winchester 4 – Macy's wife (Lois) work in dept. store Cathedral (see page 1) 12 the Cathedral 5 – A. Wheeler & F. Winans 1932 formed group to Winchester Cathedral (see page 1) buy bender - chance vanished 13 – 12/11/34 At the hospital I was separated from 5 – written sweet promises Promise followed empty alcohol for the last time (Bill is admitted to the promise. On October 20, 1928, Bill wrote in the hospital at 2:38PM and he is 39 years old) family Bible, the most sacred place he knew: 'To 13 – Ebby & Shep Cornell schoolmate visited at my beloved wife that has endured so much, let hosp with friend this stand as evidence of my pledge to you that 14 – Dr. Silkworth friend, the doctor I have finished with drink forever.' By 14 – 12/14/34 God's impact on Bill is sudden & Thanksgiving Day of that year he had written, profound, he calls Silky & describes what just 'My strength is renewed a thousandfold in my happened, this spiritual experience as THE love for you,' In January 1929, he added, 'To tell result of the work he did on pages 13 & 14 you once more that I am finished with it. I love were all done when Bill had 3 days of sobriety you.' None of those promises, however, carried or less! the anguish Bill expressed in an undated letter 14 – Ebby friend emphasized to Lois: 'I have failed again this day. That I 16 – Bill C. committed suicide in Bill & Lois’s home should continue to even try to do right in the after having stolen & sold about $700 worth of grand manner is perhaps a great foolishness. their clothes and luggage (a lawyer, stayed with Righteousness simply does not seem to be in them almost a year, died 1936) me. Nobody wishes it more than I. Yet no one 16 – 36 years sober, age 75 Bill W., co-founder of flouts it more often.' Again, he wrote a promise AA, died January 24,1971 to his wife in the family Bible: 'Finally and for a lifetime, thank God for your love.' The promise THERE IS A SOLUTION was dated September 3, 1930. Like those that 21 – mostly from Bill's story Here is the fellow who had preceded it, it was not kept. That was the has been puzzling you.. last of the Bible promises. 26 – Rowland Hazard certain American Business 6-7 – doctor came with sedative, next day drinking man -treated by Dr. Carl Jung (1931) & joined gin & sedative the Oxford Group in February 1934 7 – early spring 1934 I was forty pounds under 26 – Freud & Adler consulted best known weight American psychiatrists (Freud was sick & Adler 7 – Dr. L. Strong & Dr. Emily brother in-law was booked up so Rowland ended up working (husband of sister Dorothy) & mother put him with Jung) in Towns Hospital 26 – Dr. Carl Jung (named) European psychiatrist 7 – Dr. Silkworth met kind doctor explained ill, 28 – William James (named)American psychologist body & mind who wrote “Varieties of Religious Experience” 7 – Summer, 1934 After a time I returned to the MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM hospital 32-3 – A man of thirty (On page 123 of Richard 8 – 11/11/34 Armistice Day 1934 Peabody’s 1931 book “The Common Sense of 8-12 – Ebby Thacher old school friend Drinking”, Peabody briefly mentions an unknown man who gave up drinking until he

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had made his fortune five years later. Resuming FAMILY AFTERWARD "moderate" drinking, he was soon back in his 124 – Henry Ford (named) alcoholic difficulties, losing his money in two or 133 – one of the many doctors three years and dying of alcoholism a few years 135 – Earl Treat one of our friends is a heavy after that. This anecdotal account was probably smoker and coffee drinker the germ idea for this story) TO EMPLOYERS 35-7 – Ralph Furlong a friend we shall call Jim (chapter was written by Hank Parkhurst) (Ralph is the author of the story "Another Prodigal Son" which only appeared in the first 136 – Hank Parkhurst member who spent life in edition of the Big Book) world of big business 37-8 – jay walker story 136 – Mr. B. 39-43 – Harry Brick Fred 137 – one of the best salesmen 43 – Dr. Percy Poliak staff member 137 – man who hung himself world-renowned hospital (Bellevue Hospital, 138 – Frank Winans? officer of one of largest N.Y.) banks in America 138 – Bob E. or Rowland H.? an executive of the WE AGNOSTICS same bank 50 – Alfred E. Smith "celebrated American 140 – Dr. Edward Cowles? Chicago doctor with statesman" (four time governor of New York spinal fluid theory of alcoholics (see and unsuccessful first Roman Catholic www.eskimo.com/~burked/history/cowles.htm presidential candidate.) l) 51 – Wright brothers (named) first successful flight 141 – Standard Oil New Jersey "if my company" 1903 (that Hank Parkhurst worked for) 51 – Professor Langley Samuel P. Langley, flying 148 – vice-president of large industrial concern machine landed in Potomac - 1903 project for 149 – Honor Dealers Co. I own a little company (an War Dept. automobile polish distributorship (see page 246 52 – Wright brothers (named) built a machine that & 248) could fly 149-50 – Bill Wilson & Jim Burwell two alcoholic 55 – people who proved that man could never fly employees 56 – Fitz Mayo the minister's son Vision For You 56 – Bill Wilson approached by an alcoholic 151 – Bill's former Higher Power King Alcohol HOW IT WORKS 151 – Four Horsemen (named) Terror, No References Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair - Revelations 6:2-8 war, famine, pestilence, and INTO ACTION death personified the four plagues of mankind 76 – Book of James 2:20, 26 Faith without works is 153 – Bill Wilson one of our numbers made a dead journey 79 – man we know was remarried 153 – Akron, OH a certain western city 80 – Oxford Group member he accepted sum of 153 – National Rubber Machinery business (of that money from business rival - explained in church trip) involved in proxy fight Working With Others 154 – Akron, Ohio in a strange place (had to have 101 – Eskimo running away from drinking to that one) Greenland Ice cap 154 – The Merry Man Tavern an attractive bar TO WIVES 154 – Mayflower Hotel paced a hotel lobby No References

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154 – Reverend Walter Tunks clergyman he phoned 162 – Dr. Silkworth doctor in attendance (Rector of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in 162 – eastern city NYC Akron) 162 – western friends Ohio 155 – "the old Episcopal Church" church selected 162 – New York, Akron/Cleveland our two large at random centers 155 – Dr. Bob resident near nadir of alcoholic 163 – Hank Parkhurst AA member living in a large despair community (Montclair, NJ) 155 – AMA convention went on a roaring bender 163 – Dr. Howard prominent psychiatrist (of (Traymore Hotel in Atlantic City, NJ) Montclair, NJ/Chief Psychiatrist for the State 156 – around 6/17/35 He (Dr. Bob) has not had a of NJ) drink since. (It is generally stated that Dr. Bob's 163 – Dr. Russell Blaisdell chief psychiatrist of a sobriety date and the founding date of AA is large public hospital (Rockland State Hospital in 6/10/35, but recent facts around Dr. Bob's last NY) drink indicate that this date is closer to a week DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE - DR. BOB or so later.) SMITH 156 – Mrs. Hall/Akron City Hosp head nurse of 171 – Sister Ignatia (named) At St. Thomas local hospital Hospital, Dr. Bob was well assisted beginning in 156-8 – Bill Dotson real corker, none too August 1939 (along with Dr. Bob's office girl promising, future AA, lawyer Lillian) 158 – 6/26/35 He (Bill Dotson) never drank again. 171 – St. Johnsbury, VT. I was born (8/8/1879) in a 158 – Ernie Galbraith - Akron devil-may-care small New England village young fellow 171 – Judge & Mrs. Walter Perrin Smith Dr. Bob's 159 – Bill Wilson our friend of the hotel lobby father & mother incident 172 – St. Johnsbury Academy Dr. Bob graduates 159 – Dr. Bob, Bill D, Ernie G leaving behind his from high school 1898 first acquaintance, the lawyer and the 172 – Dartmouth College one of the best colleges devil-may-care chap in the country (in Hanover, N.H., graduated 159 – Archie T, Bill/Bob G (Salesman), Bill Van H, 1902) Dr. Bob, Charlie S, Dick S (AA#7), Ernie G, 173 – Univ. of Michigan entering one of the largest Harry Z, Jim S (Writer), Joe D (AA #5), Marie universities in the country (1905) B, May B & Tom L/Jim L, Paul S, Ralph F, 174 – Rush Medical Univ. another of the leading Wally G, Walter B - all 17 have stories in 1st universities of the country (near Chicago, Ill., edition. Additionally, Phil S (AA#5), Bill V, received medical degree 1910) J.D.H., Bob E, Ken A were sober by 1937. 174 – Akron, OH. western city Some may go with p.161. A year and 6 months 174 – 1912 I opened an office downtown later these 3 succeeded with 7 more (puts this 174-5 local sanitarium early 1937) 175 – Scylla and Charybdis (named) (mythology: 160 – T. Henry & Clarace Williams One man and Strait of Messing-Big rock with monster (Scylla) his wife one side, whirlpool (Charybdis) on other. 161 – Cleveland, OH. community 30 miles away Odysseus managed to navigate through 161 – Lloyd T, Clarence S, Charlie J. (see names translated: "between a rock & a hard place" from pg. 159) has 15 fellows of AA 175 – 1/16/19 - 12/5/33 Eighteenth Amendment 161 – New York eastern city (Prohibition) 162 – Towns Hospital, NYC well known hospital 176 – ? hide out in one of the clubs for treatment of alcohol & drugs 176 – ? registering at a hotel 162 – Bill Wilson member there 6 years ago

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176 – Anne Smith my wife (Anne & Dr. Bob went 179 – 5/12/35 We entered her house at exactly five out together for 17 years before they were o'clock married) 179 – AMA Convention meeting of a national. 177 – Wallace Beery/Tugboat Annie (named)play or society (Traymore Hotel in Atlantic City, NJ; movie involving a drinking man June 10-14, Monday-Friday, 1935) 178 – Oxford Group crowd of people -their poise, 179 – nurse Lily/Cuyahoga Falls I woke up at a health and happiness (Dr. Bob got involved friend's house, town near home with the O.G. in 1933 & separated himself from 179 – Bill Wilson my newly made friend them Nov. or Dec. 1939) 179 – Bill Wilson meets a friend of hers 181 179 – Henrietta Seiberling a lady called up my wife 11/16/50 Dr. Bob died on 11/16/50, he was 55 years old, he had 20 years sober

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SOBER.ORG

Principles of Recovery

Te steps from pages 59 & 60 of the Big Book. Honest inquiry and loving debate are essential to Step One – Surrender. (Capitulation to deep learning. hopelessness.) Principles of the TRADITIONS: Perhaps Step Two – Hope. (the Second Step is the mirror you should take a shot at these if you wish. Let us image or opposite of step 1. In step 1 we admit know what you come up with. that alcohol is our Higher Power, and that our And Down to Business. Now for the fun. We lives are unmanageable. In the Second Step, we have uncovered 36 instances of the word principle find a different Higher Power who we hope will in the Big Book. From these we have discovered bring about a return to sanity in the management of our lives.) 31 principles of AA Recovery. You may have noticed that in eight instances we are talking Step Three – Commitment. (The key word in step 3 is decision.) specifcally about "spiritual principles.” Step Four – Honesty. (An Inventory of self.) But the "principles" addressed thus far are but Step Five – Truth. (Candid confession to God and a few of the principles that should guide our lives. another human being.) For example: Step Six – Willingness. (Choosing to abandon Patience, tolerance, understanding, and love are defects of character.) the watchwords. Page 118 Step Seven – Humility. (Standing naked before God, Tese are the four additional principles we with nothing to hide, and asking that our once aﬀectionately called PLUT (Patience, Love, flaws—in His eyes—be removed.) Understanding, and Tolerance). Step Eight – Reflection. (Who have we harmed? You are going to have an exciting time Are we ready to make amends?) identifying AA's principles, in the literataure and Step Nine – Amendment. (Making direct amends/restitution/correction, etc.) in your daily life. It is suggested that you and some friends start with the frst printed page in Step Ten – Vigilance. (Exercising self-discovery, honesty, abandonment, Humility, reflection, and the Big Book, and that you each read a paragraph amendment on a momentary, daily, and periodic out loud, then ask each other if the paragraph basis.) contains any basic action guidelines for Recovery Step Eleven – Attunement. (Becoming as one with from alcoholism. If it does, write them down and our Father.) discuss how to take those actions with your Step Twelve – Service. (Awakening into sober Sponsor. usefulness.) Awakening to Principles You may have good reason to believe the Here in Southern California most AA groups above distillation could be improved upon. Do it! read the frst 77 lines of Chapter 5, How It Te purpose of this activity is to sharpen up our Works, at the beginning of their meetings. While thinking about the nature of AA Recovery. reading the 12 Steps one encounters...

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Step Twelve – Having had a spiritual exercises a directing infuence on the life and awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to behavior; a rule (usually a right rule) of carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice conduct consistently directing one's actions... these principles in all our aﬀairs. page 60 One might distill these defnitions of principle Some of us have asked, "What are these down to basic rules of action. However, some of principles?" Anticipating this to be anything but a our members are opposed to rules, so we adopted trivial question, we searched the Big Book for the the following short defnition: word principle. It must be important to the “a principle is a basic action guideline” program of Recovery because it is used 36 times. Appendix II displays all 36 references. Searching the Big Book on the word "Principle,” what are the principles of the AA Defnition of Principle. Tus aroused, we have program of Recovery? Five of the 36 uses of the explored. Te next thing we did was to investigate word principle are clearly statements of principles: the defnition of principle in our dictionary. Numbers 1 through 36 below refer to the order in Defnitions were extracted from Webster's New which the statement appears) International Dictionary, Second Edition, published in 1935. It should be a reliable source 22) Te frst principle of success is that you should for word usage as understood over 50 years ago by never be angry. Page 111 the authors of the Big Book, Alcoholics Although we alcoholics are not saints, it seems Anonymous, which was frst published in April, the authors of the Big Book thought that our 1939. spouses should be. It is obvious that this principle is avoiding anger. Principle, n fr ...Latin principium beginning, foundation... 28) Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another 2. A source, or origin; that from which anything person unless we are sure he would approve. proceeds; fundamental substance or energy; Page 125 primordial; ultimate basis or cause.... 4. A fundamental truth; a comprehensive law Tis principle urges us to respect the privacy of others, especially fellow members of AA. or doctrine from which others are derived, or on which others are founded; a general 29) Giving, rather than getting, will become the truth; an elementary proposition or guiding principle. page 128, fundamental assumption; a maxim; an We practice service of others rather than axiom; a postulate. self-service. 5. A settled rule of action; a governing law of conduct; an opinion, attitude or belief which

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36 References to Principles “principles” in the Big Book Your new courage, good nature and lack of our frst International Conference held at self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. Cleveland. Page xix Te same principle applies in dealing with the Tus far we may have uncovered 31 of AA’s children. principles. Four were the easy uses of the word Page 115 principle in examples 22, 28, 29, and 36. Tree Our relationships with others will be vastly more were found in 25, and there are the 12 Steps improved when we display courage and good and 12 Traditions, each being a principle. nature, just as when we do not display THE WORD “PRINCIPLE” IN THE BIG BOOK: self-consciousness. 1 & 2) As we discovered the principles by which the Five additional examples make direct individual alcoholic could live, so we had to evolve reference to the steps and traditions of AA as principles by which the AA groups and AA as a being principles: whole could survive and function effectively. Te Steps of AA are principles (and a listing Page xix of these appears soon): 3) Tough none of these principles had the force of • Step Twelve. Having had a spiritual awakening rules or laws, they had become so widely accepted as the result of these steps, we tried to carry by 1950 that they were confirmed by our first this message to alcoholics, and to practice these International Conference held at Cleveland. principles in all our affairs... Page 60 Page xix • No one among us has been able to maintain 4) Te basic principles of the AA program, it anything like perfect adherence to these appears, hold good for individuals with many principles. Page 60 different life-styles, just as the program has brought Recovery to those of many different • Te principles we have set down are guides to nationalities. progress. We claim spiritual progress rather 5) My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity than spiritual perfection. Page 60 of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Traditions are Principles: Page 14 • As we discovered the principles by which the 6) We feel elimination of our drinking is but a individual alcoholic could live, so we had to beginning. A much more important evolve principles by which the AA groups and demonstration of our principles lies before us in AA as a whole could survive and function our respective homes, occupations and affairs. effectively. Page xix Page 19 • Tough none of these principles had the force 7) Quite as important was the discovery that of rules or laws, they had become so widely spiritual principles would solve all my problems. accepted by 1950 that they were confrmed by Page 42

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8) Tat was great news to us, for we had assumed 22) Te first principle of success is that you should we could not make use of spiritual principles never be angry. Page 111 unless we accepted many things on faith which 23) If you act upon these principles, your husband seemed difficult to believe. Page 47 may stop or moderate. Page 112 9) Step Twelve. Having had a spiritual awakening 24) Te same principles which apply to husband as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this number one should be practiced. Page 112 message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs... Page 60 25) Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. 10) No one among us has been able to maintain Te same principle applies in dealing with the anything like perfect adherence to these principles. children. Page 115 Page 60 26) Now we try to put spiritual principles to work 11) Te principles we have set down are guides to in every department of our lives... Page 116 progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Page 60 27) Tough it is entirely separate from Alcoholics Anonymous, it uses the general principles of the 12) We listed people, institutions or principles with AA program as a guide for husbands, wives, whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we relatives, friends, and others close to alcoholics. were angry. Page 64 Page 121, footnote 13) Although these reparations take innumerable 28) Another principle we observe carefully is that forms, there are some general principles which we we do not relate intimate experiences of another find guiding. Page 79 person unless we are sure he would approve. 14) Unless one's family expresses a desire to live Page 125 upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to 30) Whether the family has spiritual convictions or urge them. Page 83 not, they may do well to examine the principles by 15) If not members of religious bodies, we which the alcoholic member is trying to live. sometimes select and memorize a few set Prayers Page 130 which emphasize the principles we have been 31) Tey can hardly fail to approve these simple discussing. Page 87 principles, though the head of the house still fails 16) Te main thing is that he be willing to believe somewhat in practicing them. Page 130 in a Power greater than himself and that he live by 32) Without much ado, he accepted the principles spiritual principles. Page 93 and procedure that had helped us. Page 139 17) When dealing with such a person, you had 33) Te use of spiritual principles in such cases was better use everyday language to describe spiritual not so well understood as it is now. Page 156 principles. Page 93 34) Twelve—Anonymity is the spiritual foundation 18) We are dealing only with general principles of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place common to most denominations. Page 93 principles before personalities." 19) Should they accept and practice spiritual Appendix I, page 564 principles, there is a much better chance that the 35) & 36) "Tere is a principle which is a bar head of the family will recover. Page 97 against all information, which is proof against all 21) When your prospect has made such reparation arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in as he can to his family, and has thoroughly everlasting ignorance— that principle is contempt explained to them the new principles by which he prior to investigation." —Herbert Spencer is living, he should proceed to put those principles Appendix II, page 570 into action at home. Page 98

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Grief and Amends

As a member of the human race, you will be Grief is the normal reaction to loss. required to pass through your own trials related to Sometimes it is the loss of a person close to us, loss. As a Sponsor you will be asked to help your sometimes it is something else. We grieve over Sponsee through the human ordeal of suffering pets, missed opportunities or the fantasy which loss. It is your experience that will make you must be surrendered to move deeper into a valuable to helping someone stay sober while healthy, functional human being. Denying grief going through the grief associated with such can offer a temporary beneft but is not something losess. Teories or stories you have heard about for prolonged indulgence; no one is qualifed to how other people successfully processed Grief tell someone how long they should spend in any might be helpful to some degree, but it will always stage of grief. be experience that proves to be of the greatest Grief hurts. No one can tell someone else value. what they are not to feel. Each person will have When death is expected and we have time to his or her own reactions and must discover their prepare, the actual event will come as a shock and process to get through the grief. we will know the difference between what we You will hear it said that the depth of grief is thought it would be like, and the reality. When directly related to how much we loved, or at least death is unexpected we need help to fnd our cared about, the thing which was lost. Tis usually footing after the shock knocks us off balance. means that the loss of a parent or spouse will be a Escape from Old Patterns much deeper experience compared to the passing of an acquaintance with whom we shared a class People in Recovery drank and used drugs to many years ago. Te loss of a child is almost escape from feeling. With the gift of Sobriety impossible to describe and is best shared with comes the return of human feelings, which we someone else who has lost a child. Te death of a must learn to integrate into our new, healthy lives. beloved pet may strike one person deeply, and Tere is no way to turn on Good Feelings and may not effect another person at all. turn off Bad Feelings – we feel or we are numb. We must feel love and joy with the same capacity Tere are excellent books on grief, which can we can feel anger or grief. Most alcoholics and be helpful, particularly when used to prepare for a addicts are newcomers to successfully living with forthcoming death. these feelings, and sometimes we are thrown into We tend to fall back to complete self new rounds of emotion to which we must adjust absorption at the time of crisis, whether it is a without advance warning. death we have expected after a long period of When you are asked for help beyond you own illness, or something unexpected such as an life and Recovery experience, you must admit that accident or a criminal act. We return to our old fact and work with the person to help him fnd pattern of making everything our drama, rather someone with the experience they need. than accept it as part of our life. And our Ego

– 201 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition makes us think that everything around the loss we that fact while they are able to hear us and know are grieving is about ourselves - the old, familiar how we feel. “me, me, me.” Amends and Grief Service for Healing Sometimes in the Amends process you will When confronting Grief, one of the best tools have a name that represents something or is the same tool that allows us to get through the someone who is gone. Some people say it is new awareness of our past, our damage to other enough to visit a grave to speak your apologies, or people and the need to make things better – to write a letter. Service. When we face a loss, it serves us to But we are also taught that this is a Program comfort the other people who share that loss. of Action and processing Grief may mix in with For example, when a parent or other family our amends. What Action can you take that member dies, there are brothers and sisters, aunts would have been accepted as an amends with the and uncles, in-laws and friends of that person we person or organiation to whom you owed amends? grieve. By providing comfort to others, we take If you owed money, how will the amount of our minds off of our own pain and loss to provide that debt you owed go to beneft something that the same compassionate understanding we need. the lost name would approve? Frequently in Recovery, our healing comes by If you owed a repair other than money, how giving away the very thing we feel we are lacking. could that be carried out in the name of the lost When we need encouragement, it helps us to person or organization for a cause or an action. encourage others. When we need understanding If you had to restore an object but the person for some confusion or wrong ideas that have who was to receive it is not longer available, to created a problem, we must offer forgiveness and what appropriate person, organization or location understanding for someone else going through can the object be returned. that same problem. When we need love, we love others more. When we feel we need to matter to other people, we need to recognize how important Death is unavoidable, but it does not mark the people around us are to us, and then communicate end of the object of our Grief’s effect on our lives.

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ESSENTIALSOFRECOVERY.COM11

Twelve Warnings

Te book Alcoholics Anonymous contains a the spirit. Te insanity of alcohol returns and with series of propositions and proposals, the successful us to drink is to die. outcome of these depends upon the actions of the Page 66 reader. 6. Concerning sex. Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to Te book directs us as to what we must start get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a doing, what we must stop doing, what happens half-truth. It depends on us and our motives. If we when we fulfll the propositions and proposals and are sorry for what we have done, and have the what will happen if we fail to fulfll them. honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned a Tese are the Twelve Warnings as to what lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct will happen if we fail to heed the directions: continues to harm others, we are quite sure to 1. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his drink. We are not theorizing. Tese are facts about spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for our experience. Page 70 others, he could not survive the certain trials and 7. If we skip this vital Step (5), we may not overcome low spots ahead. Page 14 drinking. Time afer time newcomers have tried to 2. Te feeling of having shared in a common peril is keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. one element in the powerful cement which binds Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they us. But that in itself would never have held us have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably together as we are now joined. Page 17 they got drunk. Page 72 3. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this 8. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how selfishness, we must, or it kills us! God makes that far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we possible. Page 62 are afraid to face them. Page 78 4. Tough our decision (Tird Step) was a vital and 9. We feel that a man is unthinking when he says that crucial Step, it could have little permanent effect sobriety is enough. Page 82 unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face 10. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of and be rid of, the things in our lives which had action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for been blocking us. Page 64 trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. 5. It is plain that a life, which includes deep Page 85 resentment, leads only to futility and unhappiness. 11. Our rule is not to avoid a place where there is To the precise extent that we permit these, do we drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being squander the hours that might have been worth there. Tat includes bars, nightclubs, dances, while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, parties. To a person who has had experience with this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting found that it is fatal. For when harboring such Providence, but it isn't. You will note that we feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of made an important qualification. Terefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I a good social,

11 Tis list was submitted through several correspondents and websites, but we have not been able to confrm the original source. – 203 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition business, or personal reason for going to this place? 12. Te head of the house ought to remember that he Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious is mainly to blame for what befell his home. He pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But you have answered these questions satisfactorily, he must see the danger of over-concentration on you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, financial success. Although financial Recovery is whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid on the way for many of us, we found we could not spiritual ground before you start and that your place money first. For us, material well-being motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think always followed spiritual progress, it never of what you will get out of the occasion. Tink of preceded. Page 127) what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! Page 101

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PRIMARYPURPOSEGROUP.,ORG

Thirty Eight Musts Frequently you will hear it said in meetings: "Tere are no musts in this program." Tis is not supported by the body of the texts.

1. "It must be done if any results are to be expected. 14. “Above everything, we alcoholics mus t be rid of Page 99 this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!" 2. “We must try to repair the damage immediately Page 62 lest we pay the penalty by a spree." Page 99 15. “Te man must decide for himself." Page 144 3. “It must be on a better basis, since the former did 16. “To watch people recover, to see them help others, not work." Page 99 to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship 4. “Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction grow up about you, to have a host of friends - ahead. We must take the lead." Page 83 this is an experience you must not miss." 5. “We must remember that ten or twenty years of Page 89 drunkenness would make a skeptic out of 17. “If we are planning to stop drinking, there must anyone." Page 83be no reservation of any kind" Page 33 6. “Tose of us belonging to a religious 18. “We must not shrink at anything." Page 79 denomination which requires confession must, 19. “But we must be careful not to drif into worry, and of course, will want to go to the properly remorse or morbid reflection, for that would appointed authority whose duty it is to receive diminish our usefulness to others." Page 86 it." Page 74 20. “He must redouble his spiritual activities if he 7. “Te rule is we must be hard on ourself, but expects to survive." Page 120 always considerate of others." Page 74 21. “I know I must get along without liquor, but how 8. “But we must not use this as a mere excuse to can I?" Page 152 postpone." Page 75 22. “He must decide for himself whether he wants to 9. “But we must go further and that means more go on" Page 95 action." Page 85 23. “If he is to find God, the desire must come from 10. “Every day is a day when we must carry the within." Page 95 vision of God's will into all of our activities." Page 85 24. “Tough they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that 11. “Tese are thoughts which must go with us motive became secondary." Page 159, constantly." Page 85 25. “Both saw that they must keep spiritually active." 12. “If we have obtained permission, have consulted Page 156 with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink." P a g e 8 0 26. “Tat is where our work must be done." Page 130 13. “I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all." Page 14 27. “Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn't." Page 82 28. “He should understand that he must undergo a change of heart." Page 143

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29. “Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be Page 43 willing to grow toward it." 35. "We saw that these resentments must be Page 69 mastered." Page 66 30. “We must be willing to make amends where we 36. "For he knows he must be honest if he would live have done harm" Page 69 at all." Page 146 31. “We had to face the fact that we must find a 37. "We must be entirely honest with somebody if we spiritual basis of life - or else." Page 44 expect to live long or happily in this world." 32. “We must lose our fear of creditors no matter Page 73 how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them." Page 78 But Remember... 33. "To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive 38. "When the man is presented with this volume it is action." best that no one tell him he must abide by its Page 93 suggestions." Page 144 34. "His defense must come from a Higher Power."

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SOBER.ORG

109 Promises

How many promises await us as we trudge 4) Te great fact is just this, and nothing less: this road of happy destiny? Some folks think they Tat we have had deep and eﬀective are limited to those following the Ninth Step on spiritual experiences which have page 83. Tere are 20 there (not the 12 often revolutionized our whole attitude toward mentioned). But you will fnd promises for each life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. step and in many other places as well. We are sure you want to know what they are. 5) Te central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has Tanks to Buddy T. at About.com we were entered into our hearts and lives in a way referred to the Big Book Comes Alive website, which is indeed miraculous. which lists their version of 147 Big Book promises. We have not yet added from their list to 6) He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ours the missing promises that meet our promise ourselves. Page 25 criteria. However, there is a price to pay for reading on. You must contact us with additional promises 7) Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics from inside the front cover through page 164. have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these occurrences are Here are well over 100 presented as of today: phenomena. Tey appear to be in the nature PROMISES OF STEP TWO of huge emotional displacements and 1) Tere is a solution. Almost none of us liked rearrangements. the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, 8) Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were the confession of short-comings which the once the guiding forces of the lives of these process requires for its successful men are suddenly cast to one side, consummation. But we saw that it really 9) and a completely new set of conceptions and worked in others, and we had come to motives begin to dominate them. believe in the hopelessness and futility of life Page 27: as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the 10) We, in our turn, sought the same escape problem had been solved, there was nothing with all the desperation of drowning men. left for us but to pick up the simple kit of What seemed at frst a fimsy reed, has spiritual tools laid at our feet. proved to be the loving and powerful hand 2) We have found much of heaven and of God. 3) we have been rocketed into a fourth 11) A new life has been given us or, if you dimension of existence of which we had not prefer, "a design for living" that really even dreamed. works. Page 28 Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. – 207 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

12) Our own conception, however inadequate, 23) It fnally beat us into a state of was sufficient to make the approach reasonableness. Sometimes this was a 13) and to effect a contact with Him. tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were. 14) As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit Page 48 of the Universe underlying the totality of 24) Here are thousands of men and women, things, we began to be possessed of a new worldly indeed. Tey fatly declare that since sense of power and direction, provided we they have come to believe in a Power greater took other simple steps. than themselves, to take a certain attitude 15) We found that God does not make too hard toward the Power, and to do certain simple terms with those who seek Him. things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. 16) To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding 25) In the face of collapse and despair, in the to those who earnestly seek. face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, 17) It is open, we believe, to all men. peace, happiness, and sense of direction Page 46 fowed into them. 18) Do not let any prejudice you may have 26) Tis happened soon after they against spiritual terms deter you from whole-heartedly met a few simple honestly asking yourself what they mean to requirements. Once confused and baffled by you. At the start, this was all we needed to the seeming futility of existence, they show commence spiritual growth, to effect our frst the underlying reasons why they were conscious relation with God as we making heavy going of life. Leaving aside understood Him. the drink question, they tell why living was 19) Afterward, we found ourselves accepting so unsatisfactory. Tey show how the change many things which then seemed entirely out came over them. When many hundreds of of reach. people are able to say that the consciousness 20) Tat was growth, but if we wished to of the Presence of God is today the most grow we had to begin somewhere. So we important fact of their lives, they present a used our own conception, however limited it powerful reason why one should have faith. was. We needed to ask ourselves but one Page 50 short question. "Do I now believe, or am I 27) We fnally saw that faith in some kind of even willing to believe, that there is a God was a part of our make-up, just as Power greater than myself?" As soon as a much as the feeling we have for a friend. man can say that he does believe, or is Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but willing to believe, we emphatically assure He was there. He was as much a fact as we him that he is on his way. were. We found the Great Reality deep 21) It has been repeatedly proven among us down within us. In the last analysis it is that upon this simple cornerstone a only there that He may be found. It was so wonderfully effective spiritual structure can with us. Page 55 be built. Page 47 28) Even so has God restored us all to our right 22) Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon minds. To this man, the revelation was became as open minded on spiritual matters sudden. Some of us grow into it more as we had tried to be on other questions. In slowly. this respect alcohol was a great persuader. 29) But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him.

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30) When we drew near to Him He disclosed 46) We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Himself to us! 47) Our fears fall from us. Contributed by Joe Mc. 48) We begin to feel the nearness of our Page 57 Creator.

PROMISES OF STEP THREE 49) We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, 31) When we sincerely took such a position, all but now we begin to have a spiritual sort of remarkable things followed. experience. 32) We had a new Employer. 50) Te feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. 33) He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. 51) We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the 34) Established on such a footing we became Universe. Page 75 less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. PROMISES OF STEP EIGHT 35) More and more we became interested in 52) If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we seeing what we could contribute to life. will be gratifed with the result. 36) As we felt new power fow in, 53) In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling 37) as we enjoyed peace of mind, upon admits his own faults, 38) as we discovered we could face life 54) so feuds of years standing melt away in an successfully, hour. 39) as we became conscious of His presence, 55) Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory 40) we began to lose our fear of today, progress. Our tomorrow or the hereafter. 56) former enemies sometimes praise what we 41) We were reborn. are doing and wish us well. 42) an eﬀect, sometimes a very great one, was 57) Occasionally, they will oﬀer assistance. felt at once. Page 78 Contributed by Kay G. and Jon T. Page 63 PROMISES OF STEP NINE If we are painstaking about this phase of our 43) At once, we commence to outgrow fear. development, Contributed by Kay G. Page 68 58) we will be amazed before we are half way through. 43a) We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, 59) We are going to know a new freedom even our enemies, for we look on them as 60) and a new happiness. sick people. 61) We will not regret the past Contributed by Tom T. of Omaha. 62) nor wish to shut the door on it. Page 70 63) We will comprehend the word serenity and PROMISES OF STEP FIVE 64) we will know peace. Once we have taken this step, withholding 65) No matter how far down the scale we have nothing, gone, we will see how our experience can 44) we are delighted. beneft others. 45) We can look the world in the eye. 66) Tat feeling of uselessness (will disappear)

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67) and self-pity will disappear. 76) Tat is our experience. Tat is how we 68) We will lose interest in selfsh things and react so long as we keep in ft spiritual condition. Page 84 69) (We will) gain interest in our fellows. 70) Self-seeking will slip away. PROMISES OF STEP ELEVEN On awakening let us think about the 71) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct 72) Fear of people (will leave us) and our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced 73) (fear) of economic insecurity will leave us. from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. 74) We will intuitively know how to handle Under these conditions situations which used to baffle us. 77) we can employ our mental faculties with 75) We will suddenly realize that God is doing assurance, for after all God gave us brains to for us what we could not do for ourselves. use. 76) Are these extravagant promises? We think 78) Our thought-life will be placed on a much not. Tey are being fulflled among us— higher plane when our thinking is cleared of sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. wrong motives. 77) Tey will always materialize if we work 79) In thinking about our day we may face for them. Page 83 indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for PROMISES OF STEP TEN inspiration, an intuitive thought or a 64) And we have ceased fghting anything or decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't anyone —even alcohol. struggle. We are often surprised how the 65) For by this time sanity will have returned. right answers come after we have tried this 66) We will seldom be interested in liquor. for a while. Page 86 67) If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot 80) What used to be the hunch or the occasional fame. inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. 68) We react sanely and normally, and 81) Being still inexperienced and having just 69) we will fnd that this has happened made conscious contact with God, it is not automatically. probable that we are going to be inspired at 70 We will see that our new attitude toward all times. We might pay for this liquor has been given us without any presumption in all sorts of absurd actions thought or effort on our part. It just comes! and ideas. Nevertheless, we fnd that our Tat is the miracle of it. thinking will, as time passes, be more and 71) We are not fghting it, more on the plane of inspiration. 72) neither are we avoiding temptation. 82) We come to rely upon it. 73) We feel as though we had been places in a 83) We are careful never to pray for our own position of neutrality—safe and protected. selfsh ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of 74) We have not even sworn off. Instead, the time doing that and it doesn't work. You problem has been removed. It does not exist can easily see why. for us. As we go through the day we pause, when 75) We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Ty will be done." – 210 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

84) We are then in much less danger of 100) Follow the dictates of a Higher Power excitement, and you will presently live in a new and 85) fear, wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! 86) anger, Contributed by Beth 87) worry, 101) Assuming we are spiritually ft, we can 88) self-pity, do all sorts of things alcoholics are not 89) or foolish decisions. supposed to do. Contributed by Kate O. 90) We become much more eﬃcient. Page 100 91 We do not tire so easily, for we are not 102) Your job now is to be at the place where burning up energy foolishly as we did when you may be of maximum helpfulness to we were trying to arrange life to suit others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if ourselves. you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to 92) It works—it really does. Page 87 visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the fring line of life 93) Practical experience shows that nothing with these motives and God will keep you will so much insure immunity from unharmed. Contributed by Beth drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities 103) Te power of God goes deep! fail. Contributed by Kate O. 94) You can help when no one else can. Page 102 95) You can secure their confdence when others 104) But sometimes you must start life anew. fail. We know women who have done it. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their 96) Life will take on new meaning. road will be smoother. 97) To watch people recover, to see them help Contributed by Kate O. others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a Page 114 fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must 105) How much better life is when lived on a not miss. We know you will not want to spiritual plane. Contributed by Kate O. miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers Big Book page 116 and with each other is the bright spot of our 106) Tese work-outs should be regarded as lives. Page 97 part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live.

PROMISES OF STEP TWELVE 107) You will make mistakes, but if you are in 98) Both you and the new man must walk day earnest they will not drag you down. by day in the path of spiritual progress. If 108) Instead, you will capitalize them. you persist, remarkable things will happen. 109) A better way of life will emerge when Contributed by Kate O. they are overcome. 99) When we look back, we realize that the Contributed by Kate O. things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Contributed by Kate O.

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RECOVERY READER

The Most Dangerous Part of the Alcoholic Brain

A TALK BY DR. HARRY T. TIEBOUT

Troughout the conference approved literature International Conventions of the fellowship. At issued by AA’s World Service Oﬃce tells us that the 1960 Inernational in Long Beach he we have great friends in the non-alcoholic presented a talk12 on the most insidious aspect of community. We are also told to seek and use the the alcoholic brain in Recovery. professional services of the medical professionals Dr. Tiebout repeatedly stressed that the available to us. reduction of the Ego was a prerequisite to success Bill Wilson, the primary author of the Big in Recovery. Te state of being humble is desired, Book followed his own advice and had a but is not under the mind’s ability to bring about. psychiatrist, Dr. Harry T. Tiebout, who, through He said, “You can no more will yourself to be Bill’s sessions with him, specialized in the feld of humble than you can pull yourself up by your own Alcoholism and Recovery for the remaining years bootstraps.” of his professional career. As illustrations Dr. Tiebout presented several Dr. Tiebout published in professional journals case histories where someone in Recovery, who and presented additional papers on his fndings was respected by his local fellowship for his or her related to the mind of the alcoholic at early

12 The original recording will be hosted at the http://sponsormagazine.info site for those who prefer to hear Dr. Tiebout make this presentation in his own words and in his own voice. It will also be posted to archive.org for long term availability. – 212 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Recovery, fell victim to the most dangerous part but all too often the target is someone else. When of the Alcoholic’s brain - the self-healing Ego. it is ourselves, our aim can be notoriously bad. We In one case he cited a man with several years can laugh with the saying of Chinese philosopher Recovery who was invited to speak at an event. Lao Tse who had this gem to offer: “He who feels He said he would do it but, owing to his long pricked must have been a bubble.” sobriety, he insisted that he go on as the last Te Ego can be seen as the driving force that speaker. It was a minor point and the event placed seeks to dominate and feel comfortable only when him in the desired position. But from such a it is able to maintain a non-underdog position. It simple position, feeling that his presentation may recoil at any display of “big-shotism,” but would be of particular value to the audience, the down inside where the feelings count it can be as man’s Ego reasserted itself. Within two years the touchy as a sore thumb. man had relapes and died as a direct result of his It is not an accident that the members of Dr. alcoholism. Tiebout’s specialty are called “head shrinkers.” A patient of Dr. Tiebout said she did not like Te doctor then explored the ability to detect people with resurrected Egos. Te comment evidence which shows that the ego has gone. Tat disturbed Dr. Tiebout, prompting him to ask, evidence can be summed in one of two words. “How do you view such people?” “To be honest,” Humbleness and Humility. Assured the Ego has the patient said, “I look down on those people.” departed, the mind treats the two as synonyms Te doctor considered the response, then asked, and fails to see the difference between the two “If you are looking down on them, in what states, nor the need of active contact with a position does that put you?” Higher Power to maintain the reduced Ego Te patient became uncomfortable. “It means condition. I am above them, I guess,” she admitted meekly. Te problem is ‘How does one feel when one He said that with that admission, she was feels Humble?” Te answer to that question, he beginning to take an inventory that might be said, was identifying the state of being ‘up’ and more than the list of words. She was having a frst the state of being ‘down’. hand contact with humility and was, he felt, When one is ‘up’, one is cheerful, positive, and beginning to feel some truths about herself. animated. A person in such a state may be up on In a third case he was present at a meeting in his toes, in high gear, or perhaps ‘up and at ‘em’. New England where the speaker announced that He is all for action, charges in, and makes he was the “humblest man in the room” and was improvements. Getting somewhere. And is confused when this prompted a hearty rendered accurately uneasy whenever his perceived horse-laugh from the crowd. He did not see the advances are in any way impeded. source of their amusement at frst. Perhaps more than he knows, he seeks to Tis kind of Ego-blindness is, of course, the make life a pink cloud. In a deep sense, he lives off source of profound trouble. Its presence can be hope. An insistent force drives him, telling him denied with the utmost sincerity. It takes his ship will come in and his worries will be over. considerable digging and large doses of honesty For him, surrender is a completely shattering before the inner self can be reached. In its quietly experience, impossible to contemplate. It means stubborn way, it can ruin our best intentions. renouncing the will to live. Te force that keeps Te sad truth is that the Ego is always more him going. visible in others, than in ourselves. We can delight in puncturing the pomposities of others. We can recognize the wisdom of defating infated egos, – 213 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te person in the ‘up’ state seldom questions Here is a very diﬀerent down from the its validity. It seems the epitome of health and depressed, unhappy sort of down which formerly well being. had been envisioned. Here is a down that stood ‘Down’ on the other hand, is the exact for substance, for lasting values. A down which opposite. In the state of being down the should not be deplored. Tis kind of down meant individual is not gay, lacks energy, drive, fnds life health and real well being. Not the ephemeral a dreary bore. Such phrases as down in the mouth kind, which lifts the individual slightly oﬀ this or down in the dumps successfully picture the earth. ‘Down’ could mean being Humble and free ‘down’ frame of mind. It is a state of mind that is from a lot of giddy notions about ourselves. It voided and smacks little of health. could mean the end of Ego and all the unrest In keeping with most everyone else, for years associated with that part of our nature. Dr. Tiebout viewed the ‘up’ state with kindly eyes, In a very deep and profound sense, down and the ‘down’ one to be the enemy of mankind. could mean that we were able to accept ourselves In AA and in life a whole new series of facts were for what we are. No longer do we have to be up, forced upon him. looking with scarcely concealed loathing. We are Te ‘pink cloud’ is an ‘up’ state if ever there down, we can look up, maybe even to a deity who was one, yet clearly not an entirely healthy one. has never looked down on us. Even more confusing, Humbleness and Humility, We can now talk about Humbleness. In the which were certainly part of a ‘down’ state, were light of our discussion of the up and down states essential to sobriety. we can realize that Humbleness is the down state And fnally, to his surprise, he came to realize which puts it in the right place for our daily life. that being sober meant being sober minded, with Whenever the individual stands on Earth, rather no trace of being ‘up’. than plunging on through to the lower regions, the individual is ‘down’ but his or her feet are on Tere were incontrovertible facts that seemed solid ground. to fy in the face of all logic. In fact they were, and some sense had to be, made out of Humbleness False fears of what will happen to him or her and Humility. when they drop from the high state vanishes. As experience is gained we receive the comforting Te question was how can one lose the up realization that we can let lesser gods fght among state without plunging into a down, which is themselves. crippling and surely a miserable form of existence. Te answer to that question lies in direct All we need to do is stay where we are and admission of the fact that the word ‘down’ does learn to live. not have to mean down and out. It can also mean Te Ego in the genuinely humble person is in ‘down to earth’. Tis down is a very healthy one, abeyance, for the moment at any rate. It is too. accurate to say that true humility is the real Te down to earth individual has his feet on evidence that the Ego has gone or is no longer the ground. He can spot the pink cloud for the infuencing the individual’s thoughts or feelings. element it is, and can distrust the airy, Te next question is now clear. How can this insubstantial quality. Te man with his feet on the down-to-earth state of mind, which is the real ground is a solid citizen, going nowhere, source of Humbleness, be induced and then interested in nothing spectacular, but able to live maintained. each 24 hours as a contributing member of the Hitting bottom is the key. It brings the human race. individual into contact with the Earth, usually

– 214 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition with a resounding ‘whack’. Te use of the word climb back on the pedestal can go completely bottom suggests exactly where the hitting is unnoticed. Te old timer who insisted on a applied. For the fortunate he has been spanked preferred position could still have thought himself into some measure of sense. Te whole of an AA, and be convincing to himself and others. engineering the individual so he hits a bottom is a Te member who claimed to be the ‘Humblest fascinating matter about which to conjecture. person in the room’ had a choice and conspired Dr. Tiebout admitted that the individual with the returned Ego, but was totally innocent of members of the Program have been through the the fact. His Ego said he should fatly assert his mill and seen many others through the same Humbleness, and he could believe he was quite rough time. Any extended discussion of hitting honest. Even if it was quite inaccurate. bottom and its role in producing sobriety is Te problem of the unnoticed return of the wasted time – nothing he had to say will match Ego is widespread. Te individual who enters into your frst hand experiences to the nature of the AA after hitting bottom has his own experience forces within which try to produce a breakthrough which provides him with a genuine feeling of leading to hitting bottom and surrender. humility. Ten a tragic thing often happens. Te Tere he moved into the trickiest problem of memory lingers but the humility slowly seeps maintaining the sober person. away. A considerable portion of his practice was We can discover the damage created by our devoted to helping members develop a capacity to unrestrained Ego, work our Steps, work our stay humble or down on Earth. It is one thing to Program, and devote ourselves to Service, then knock a person off his pedestal. It is a much more realize we have achieved a level of Humility. difficult task to keep him from climbing right Which is a realization of which we become proud. back on again. Tat pride then opens the door for Ego to fnd its Out of my experience, three points seem to be way back to its pedestal. Having accepted the of pertinence to this audience. beating it has recevied, the Ego whispers its way Te frst is to recognize that the ability to back in as it builds a new takeover of the sober remain on Earth is not under the conrol of the alcoholic’s brain. It’s self-healing capacity will will. It is just as impossible to will yourself to be remain a threat as the AA member progresses into humble as it is to lift yourself by your bootstraps. longer and longer terms of Sobriety. Te very effort to will humbleness is, in itself, an Te third point Dr. Tiebout stressed was the act of sheer arrogance. It is a test to dictate how problem of remaining Humble. He considered the one should feel. One can only hope for the desired actual ways and means by which Humbleness is feelings to come along. One cannot just order preserved. Obviously no foolproof formula exists. them to be present as feelings have an Te pitfalls are many. It means Twelve Step work, independence which must be respected. reporting Inventories, and improving our contact Te second point of consideration is that with a Higher Power, are all helpful and may be people have forces within them which can carry us depended on in most instances. ‘up’, off Earth so subtly and so quickly that we are However, the unwary individual may get totally unaware that anything has happened. Te trapped in ways which he least suspects.

Tis article is drawn from the talk given by Dr. Tiebout in Long Beach, CA in 1960. Te actual recording is available at http://sponsormagazine.info/reader.html.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Gossip and The 13th Step

Many people talk about the “Tirteenth Step” Probably more members lose their Sobriety - the predatory sexual manipulation of a for this single reason, than all others combined. newcomer. Tis means newcomers and those with long term Recovery requires trust. When trust is Recovery. It may over guilt of actions they knew breached, resentments rise and all the other were not appropiate, it may be because of damage principles are out the window, and often times that was done during the ‘relationship’, or as a Sobriety goes with it. Tat is why it is so result of the resentments and gossip that run important that no member should ever breach through the local fellowship. It can lead to another member's confdence... and especially the relapse, damage and sometimes criminal charges. ability to trust guidance from the more Newcomers are vulnerable, naive, confused, responsible members of their groups. and fearful. Tey are looking for any bit of Tis applies as well to any and all gossiping acceptance or comfort that will fll that emptiness between members about what another member they fnd in their gutA breach of trust can cause a has said or done. resentment that could mean their Sobriety or their Tis particularly applies to “Te Tirteenth Life. Step” – advances leading to fnancial or sexual Newcomers are the life blood of our abuse of members, especially newcomers. fellowships and must be protected from the Newcomers are in a vulnerable position and predators among us..We do this to protect the predators may take advantage of them. newcomer, and to protect our own Sobriety.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Conflict in AA Histories With One Case Study It does not seem possible to have a large Dr. William White, who has inherited the community without the development of myth mantle of keeper of historical reserach for alcohol structures. Myths are created to fll a personal and drug Recovery, described it simply: need, to create an explanation or to teach a lesson. “When I began writing a book in the early 1990s Te fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is on the history of addiction treatment and large and has spread around the world. Te Recovery in America, several people directed me to estimates place membership in the millions, Ernie Kurtz as the authoritative source. I had no though people argue over the exact number. It has way of knowing that what I expected to be a brief been accepted by followers of almost all of the consultation on the history of AA would evolve religions and philosophical beliefs. into a prolonged mentorship, multiple professional collaborations, and an enduring friendship. In their journey people have tried to explain Trough these years, Ernie Kurtz communicated a things they have not understood and have been number of crucial lessons to me about researching limited to their own life story and personal and writing history. He repeatedly challenged me experiences to create those explanations. Some of to: these explanations have been importing ideas and Tell the story chronologically (do not confuse sayings from other sources, some have been your reader). completely fabricated, often with good intention. Tell the story in context (let your reader know Te problems happen when people create what else is going on around the event you conficting stories and then try to elevate the are profling). version they have been told over the versions other Present the historical evidence (sources)—all people have been told. Dr. Ernie Kurtz, author of the evidence. “Not God,” the frst comprehensive study of the Separate statements of fact from conjecture and history of Alcoholics Anonymous, addressed this opinion. in a YouTube video. Te specifc video is called Tell the story from multiple perspectives. “Ernie Kurtz on Researching AA History“ (https://youtu.be/2-IyzinVRq8). Localize and personalize the story. In that talk Dr. Kurtz explains we cannot fnd Stay connected to your readers—keep them the whole truth - we have to accept that people wanting to turn the page to fnd out what have reasons for believing the version they tell, happens next (for an elaboration of these, see White, 2004). and it is seldom the result of a desire to sabotage or damage someone else or those other people’s I will try to be faithful to these guidelines in beliefs. telling Ernie’s own story.

– 217 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition http://www.williamwhitepapers.com/ernie_kurtz/ But in the Akron meeting there was a growing To illustrate this idea I want to address one confict with the Oxford Group about the specifc example of this problem and attempt to ‘alcoholic squad’, the ‘type’ of man they were follow Dr. Kurtz’ suggestions with a well known bringing into people’s homes (recovering confict in AA history. alcoholics from all social levels), and the focus on alcoholism. Some members of the Oxford Group Once Case Study complained that these people were ‘glorying in At the point where the Big Book had been their sin’. written and was about to be released, there was a Te Big Book had just been printed, and the new member gertting sober and living with Dr. ‘Multilith edition’ was still in circulation. On the Bob in Akron, Ohio. His name was Clarence night of May 10, 1939, during one of these Snyder and many believe he should been given argumentative meetings, Clarence announced that much more credit for the founding of AA and he would host a new meeting in Cleveland on the particularly for its growth as an independent following night. Te new meeting would not be organization from the Oxford Group. affiliated with the Oxford Group and they would Clarence Snyder’s sobriety date is February use the book Alcoholics Anonymous as their 11, 1938. He is listed as one of the frst forty focus. people to get sober using the AA/12-Step system. Members of the Oxford Group objected and His story was one of those included in the frst called friends in Cleveland to prevent that frst edition of the Big Book (“Te Home meeting. But Clarence, in a single action, created Brewmeister”), also published in the second and the new unaffiliated group, named it Alcoholics third editions. He was present in the early Anonymous after the book, and laid the meetings in Akron when the unnamed group was foundation for the AA saying “All you need to still a part of the Oxford Group. start a new meeting is a coffee pot and a In 1939 Clarence returned home and had a resentment.” Tis meeting was also the frst to problem organizing a new group. Te men he form without the personal presences of Bill knew who wanted to get sober were Catholics and Wilson or Dr. Bob. the local Diocese had forbidden its members from At the end of 1939 two more groups had attending Oxford Group meetings. Te Diocese formed in Cleveland. Meetings would form in the in Akron had made that declaration13, so the following year in Detroit, Chicago, Boston, Clarence organized a weekly caravan from Baltimore, and a dozen other cities. Cleveland to Akron for the Wednesday night Clarence also wrote the frst guide on , the meeting. Cleveland meetings created the frst ‘service board’ Tere was some complaining about making which released the frst literature based on the the journey, since there were more men in the cars sermons of a preacher connected to Clarence. making the journey than there were local people But Clarence does not receive credit for much in the Akron meeting they attended. Clarence had of what he did in the Cleveland area in the later to remind them about the problem with their literature of AA. Te sudden growth in Cleveland church, which some people reported had is acknowledged but Clarence’s name is seldom threatened excommunication, and the grumbling mentioned. died out. It was not the only confict within the early fellowship. Akron members complained that the

13 Clarence was later abel to get the local Bishop’s blessing on the non-Oxford Group approach found in AA – 218 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

New York fellowship and the New York members name, mocked anonymity and ridiculed anything claimed that the Akron fellowship was unrealistic. Bill presented. When the time came for the frst international But it should also be said that there are convention of representatives of the growing rumors that Bill Wilson may have had an aﬀair Alcoholics Anonymous, the confict prevented with Clarence’s wife Grace. Tese stories were either New York or Akron from hosting the also told by Grace herself, according to some of historic gathering. her Sponsees. While AA does not encourage Cleveland served as the neutral ground for this acting on resentments, it might make Clarence’s frst major gathering of the fellowship. opposition understandable. Tis is not to say there is no controversy with Clarence’s followers in the Cleveland area Clarence’s role in the growth of Alcoholics meetings encouraged the positions championed by Anonymous. Clarence himself seemed to enjoy the man who brought Recovery to Cleveland, and the attention he received from making statements who did so many good things for the growth of that outraged the people who were far from the the fellowship. Cleveland area, and his followers in Cleveland And he was to have a signifcant supporter were vocal in their support. after a sad episode in New York. For example, Clarence would introduce Hank Parkhurst Goes to Cleveland himself as “the man who founded AA” or make Within a few months of the publication of the no comment when someone else made the claim. Big Book, Hank Parkhurst, the man who was He is recognized as one of the frst forty people to pivotal in getting the book completed, relapsed. get long term sobriety and he did create the frst Hank had hoped the Big Book would create a meeting to be free of Oxford Group constraints. cash fow, which he needed. His auto polish He called his group ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’, but business, which employed Bill Wilson and Jimmie it was named after the book. Te name Burwell, was failing. His secretary took Bill ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ was established before Wilson’s handwritten sheets and typed them. the writing of the book following the frst institutional meeting in New Jersey, credited to an Hank put together the ‘Multilith’ edition to alcoholic patient named Joe Worther, and it was raise money, but it did not succeed. Instead this being used by Rev. Shoemaker of the Calvary set of copies of the original manuscript became Mission immediately after that. the source of comment from the fellowship, which shaped the fnal verson of the Big Book, but did Clarence was very specifric in his dislike of not produce any income. Bill Wilson and anything he did. In particular, Clarence disliked the Traditions Bill proposed Te publication of the Big Book, given as and was vocal about his resistance to adopting April 1, 1939, was another disappointment. Te them. It is also said that he felt Dr. Bob never book did not sell. One woman bought one copy should have agreed to presenting them. on the condition that members in Akron and New York autograph the frontpiece14, but the Clarence seemed to enjoy the controversy he expected cashfow did not materialize. created and was recorded several times making fun of the Traditions and anyone who approached Hank began drinking after the publication of Recovery in any way diﬀerent from his own the book, and became an active opponent of Bill approach. He introduced himself with his full Wilson. He went to Cleveland while drinking and fed more information to Clarence Snyder, which

14 Tis copy is now in the archives at the New York offices of Alcoholics Anonymous. – 219 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition fed Clarence’s public pronouncements against speaker at meetings and events until his death in Bill. 1984. In particular his work modeling the creation For example, John D. Rockefeller provided a of local AA meetings, his guidance in creating the $5,000 account with a New York bank. Tis foundations of modern , and his adherence to a account was not accessible to Bill or Bob, directly, strictly Christian interpretation of AA, remain and was administered by a local clergyman, but it points of appreciation in many areas. was to be used to provide support for the early Some of Clarence’s talks were recorded and fellowship. Tis took the form of a stipend for Bill can be heard through xa-speakers.org on the and Bob and $3,000 was used to pay off Dr. Bob’s internet. mortgage. Te whole amount was repaid as one of But Clarence’s followers continued to play a the frst obligations of the AA service structure. part in maintaining a darker view of AA’s early But Hank told Clarence that Bill and Bob had days, and Bill Wilson in particular. stolen $40,000 from the account, and Clarence For example, it was widely circulated that Bill repeated the accusation. Over time the amount Wilson’s philandering caused local groups to became even more infated, and it was great create a protective squad to keep Wilson away fodder to feed the controversy. from the local woman when he was in town to Hank returned to New Jersey and made it speak.. Dr. Ernie Kurtz reported that his research back to the program, temporarily. He relapsed showed that none of the cities where such squads again and died in January of 1954. Lois Wilson had been formed knew anything about the story. said that he was drinking at the time, and there is Bill Wilson had come to town, spoke and left also evidence of prescription drug abuse. without the local fower of womenhood being threatened. Clarence After Hank But the story continues to circulate. When Hank Parkhurst returned to New Jersey, Clarence continued his opposition to Bill Wilson. Tis led to an angry exchange of letters At this point Dr. Kurtz chose to make a point with the Alcoholic Foundation (precursor of the about attempts at getting to the ‘real’ story in any AA World Service Organization) and Clarence’s historical research. When you encounter this kind resignation from the Cleveland Service Board in of ‘two story’ confict, it becomes an effort to 1944. Tis incident has been used by anti-AA understand that each side of the story has a reason voices on the Internet. for its proponents to tell the tale the way they do. Clarence, however, became a respected ‘elder He suggested that all sides of a story be told and statesman’ of AA’s early days and a sought-after the job of an historian is to share what he found.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Recovery Rate = 1

If you stay around AA for any length of time, Are the numbers from someone with a very you will start to hear statistics. People will say specifc bias for, or against, 12-Step Recovery? only a certain number of drunks get sober and stay Did you ever have to report your membership sober. Sometimes you will hear 1-in-50, or to anyone? 1-in-17, or 1 in 5. Other numbers are spread Did you have to reveal how long you have around. been sober? Or you will hear numbers for the fellowship. Tere is a number for people coming into the Tere are f ve million people involved in fellowship to know. It is the only number that Alcoholics Anonymous. Or twelve million. Or really matters. one hundred million. One. Te question comes up - where do these number come from? You. Are these from treatment centers or from the Te statistics of Recovery reduce down to the actual 12-Step fellowship? only Recovery that matters - yours. Are the numbers from insurance companies? Be the one. It doesn’t matter one-in- how-many…just be the one.

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More Than Words What the Words Mean More Than Words is one of those documents you find on the internet that does not carry identification of the source and status. We are making the call to share the information exactly as it was made available. We make no claims on authorship and there is no copyright showing. The Recovery Reader is released through Creative Commons to be shared with the fellowship.

If you are the copyright owner or have more information on when and where this series of resources was produced or used, please get in touch with us at [email protected].

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References

A few lists for quick access to additional information about, for, and by people in long term recovery.

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VARIOUS INTERNET SOURCES

Dr. Robert Smith with Bill Wilson, the ‘co-founders’ of Alcoholics Anonymous AA Chronology

Tis list has been drawn from many sources October 15, 1904 – Marty M., early AA woman, is and is oﬀered for general references. born in Chicago. July 22, 1877 – William Duncan Silkworth is born February 1908 – Bill makes boomerang. in Brooklyn, NY. January 25, 1915 – Dr. Bob marries Anne Ripley. August 8, 1879 – Dr. Bob is born in St. Johnsbury, January 24, 1918 – Bill marries Lois Burnham in the VT. Swedenborgen Church in Brookyn Heights, March 21, 1881 – Anne R., Dr. Bob's wife, is born. NY. January 2, 1889 – Sister Ignatia, is born in February 15, 1918 – Sue Smith Windows, Dr. Bob's Ballyhane, Ireland. adopted daughter, is born. August 15, 1890 – E M Jellinek, author of "Te May 1919 – Bill returns home from service. Disease Concept of Alcoholism" and the October 20, 1928 – Bill writes promise to Lois in "Jellinek Curve is born .” family Bible to quit drinking. By Tanksgiving March 4, 1891 – Lois W. is born. adds second promise. December 27, 1893 – Rev. Samuel Shoemaker is January 1929 – Bill writes third promise in Bible to born. quit drinking. November 26, 1895 – Bill W. is born in East September, 1930 – Bill writes 4th (last) promise in Dorsett, VT. family Bible to quit drinking. March 25, 1898 – Jim B. ("Te Vicious Cycle") is August 1934 – Rowland H. and Cebra persuade born. court to parole Ebby T. to them.

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November 1934 – Ebby T. carries message to Bill. October 1936 – Bill C., a Canadian alchy staying at November 11, 1934 – Armistice Day; Bill starts Bill's house, commits suicide using a gas stove. drinking after dry spell, beginning of Bill's last November 1936 – Fitz M. leaves Towns Hospital to drunk. become 'AA #3 in NY', with Bill W. and Hank December 1934 – Bill & Lois start attending P. Oxford Group meetings. January 15, 1937 – Fitz M. brings AA meetings to December 11, 1934 – Bill admitted to Towns Hosp Washington, DC. for the 4th and last time (fall '33, '34 in summer, February 11, 1937 – First New Jersey meeting is midsummer, and fnal admittance). Bill’s last held at the home of Hank P. ("Te Unbeliever" drink is one beer he brought with him to in the frst edition). Some sources report this as Towns. happening February 13, 1937. December 12, 1934 – Bill has Spiritual Experience September 13, 1937 – Florence R., 1st female in at Towns Hospital. AA in NY. December 13 or 14, 1934 – Ebby visits Bill at November 1937 – Bill and Dr. Bob compare notes hospital, brings William James's book, in Akron; count forty cases staying sober. Te "Varieties of Religious Experience.” meeting of the Akron Group considers Bill's December 1934 to May 1935 – Bill works with ideas for how to expand the movement ... a alcoholics, but none of them get sober. Lois book, AA hospitals, paid missionaries. It passed reminds him HE is sober. by a majority of 2. April 1935 – Dr. Silkworth tells Bill to quit December 12, 1937 – Bill meets with Rockefeller preaching at drunks & tell them of obsession & Foundation and tries to get money. allergy. December 13, 1937 – Rockland State Mental May 11, 1935 – Bill W. makes calls from the Hospital takes patients to meeting in New Mayfower Hotel and is referred to Dr. Bob. Jersey. May 12, 1935 @ 5 pm – Bill W. meets Dr. Bob at February 11, 1938 – Clarence S. ("Home the home of Henrietta Seiberling. Brewmeister" 1st -3rd edition) sobriety date. June 10, 1935 – Te date that is celebrated as Dr. March-May 1938 – Bill begins writing the book Bob's last drink and the oﬃcial founding date of Alcoholics Anonymous. Works Publishing Inc. AA. Tere is some evidence that the founders, established to support writing and printing of in trying to reconstruct the history, got the date book. wrong and it was actually June 17. April 11, 1938 – Te Alcoholic Foundation is June 26, 1935 – Bill Dotson (AA #3) enters Akron's formed as a trusteeship for AA (sometimes City Hospital for his last detox and his frst day reported as May 1938). of sobriety. May 1, 1939 – Bank forecloses on 182 Clinton June 28, 1935 – Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson visit Bill Street. (Sometimes reported as April 26, 1939.) Dotson at Akron's City Hospital. June 16, 1938 – Jim Burwell, "Te Vicious Cycle" in October 17, 1935 – Ebby T., Bill’s Sponsor, moves Big Book, has his last drink. in with Bill and Lois. June 24, 1938 – Two Rockefeller associates tell the December 1955 – 'Man on the Bed' painting by press about the Big Book "Not to bear any Robert M. frst appears in Grapevine. Painting author's name but to be by 'Alcoholics originally called 'Came to Believe'. Anonymous.'" March 1936 – AA has ten members staying sober. August 11, 1938 – Akron & NY members begin At end of 1936, AA has 15 members. writing stories for Big Book.

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July 15, 1938 –Te frst documented use of name May 10, 1939 – Clarence S. announces to the Alcoholics Anonymous; AA archives letter from Akron Oxford Group members that the Bill to Willard Richardson. Cleveland members are starting a meeting in July 18, 1938 – In letter to Dr. Richards at Johns Cleveland and calling it Alcoholics Anonymous. Hopkins, Bill uses Alcoholics Anonymous as May 11, 1939 – First group to oﬃcially call itself working title for Big Book & name for the Alcoholics Anonymous meets at Abby G.'s fellowship. house in Cleveland (some sources say the 18th). September 21, 1938 – Bill W. & Hank P. form June 7, 1939 – Bill and Lois Wilson have an Works Publishing Co. argument, the frst of two times Bill almost December 1938 – Twelve Steps is written. slipped. January 1939 – 400 copies of manuscript of Big June 25, 1939 – Te New York Times reviewer Book are circulated for comment, evaluation, writes that the Big Book is "more soundly based and sale. psychologically than any other treatment I have ever come upon." January 3, 1939 – First sale of Works Publishing Co. stock is recorded. July 1939 – Warren C. joins AA Cleveland, causes debate because he was not hospitalized. January 8, 1938 – New York AA splits from the Oxford Group. July 4, 1939 –Te frst AA meeting starts in Flatbush, NY. February 1939 – Dr. Harry Tiebout, becomes the 1st psychiatrist to endorse AA and use it in his July 14, 1939 – Dr. Tiebout gives Big Book to practice. Marty M. who promptly throws it back at him. February 1939 – Dr. Howard of Montclair, NJ August 1939 – Dr. Bob writes & may have signed suggests swapping "you must" for "we ought" in article for Faith magazine. the Big Book. August 16, 1939 – Dr. Bob and Sister Ignatia admit February 5, 1939 – Dr. Bob tells Ruth Hock in a 1st alcoholic to St. Tomas Hospital, Akron, letter that AA has "to get away from the Oxford Ohio. Group atmosphere.” September 1, 1939 –Te frst AA group founded in March 1, 1939 – Readers Digest fails to write article Chicago by Earl T. on AA. September 30, 1939 – Article appears in Liberty April 1, 1939 – Publication date of Alcoholics magazine, "Alcoholics and God" by Morris Anonymous, AA's Big Book. Markey. April 10, 1939 – Te frst ten copies of the Big October 1939 –Te frst central committee formed Book arrive at the oﬃce Bill and Hank P. in Cleveland; 1st example AA rotation. shared. October 14, 1939 – Journal of American Medical April 24, 1989 – Dr. Leonard Strong dies. Association gives Big Book unfavorable review. April 25, 1939 – Morgan R. is interviewed on October 21, 1939 – Cleveland Plain Dealer begins Gabriel Heatter radio show. series of articles on AA by Elrick Davis. April 26 or May 1, 1939 – Bank forecloses on 182 November/December 1939 – Akron group Clinton Street. withdraws from association with Oxford Group. Meetings moved from T. Henry & Clarence May 1939 – Lois W. Home Replacement Fund Williams to Dr. Bob and other members’ starts as Alcoholic Foundation. homes. May 6, 1939 – Clarence S. of Cleveland tells Dr. November 13, 1939 – Bill wants to go to work at Bob, his Sponsor, he will not go back to Oxford Towns Hosp, NY. Drunks want him to stay on Group meetings in Akron and will start an as head of the movement. "AA" meeting in Cleveland.

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November 21, 1939 – AA's in San Francisco hold April 16, 1940 – A sober Rollie H. catches the frst 1st California AA meeting in the Clift Hotel. opening day no-hitter in baseball history since November 26, 1939 – Dilworth Lupton gives 1909. sermon "Mr. X and Alcoholics Anonymous.” It April 19, 1940 – Te frst AA group in Little Rock, becomes one of frst pamphlets on AA. Arkansas, is formed. First 'mail order' group. November 28, 1939 – Hank P. writes Bill April 22, 1940 – Bill and Hank transfer their Works advocating autonomy for all AA groups. Publishing stock to the Alcoholic Foundation. December 1939 – Te frst AA group in mental April 23, 1940 – Dr. Bob writes the Trustees to institution, Rockland State Hospital, NY. refuse Big Book royalties, but Bill W. insists December 1939 – Te frst home meeting in Los that Dr. Bob and Anne receive them. Angeles at Kaye M.'s house. April 24, 1940 – Te frst AA pamphlet, "AA,” is December 1939 – Matt Talbot Club has 88 published. members, uses wagons to collect old furniture to May 1, 1940 – Rollie H., of the Cleveland Indians, recondition & sell, not AA, uses AA program is frst to break anonymity on national level. material, marks 1st eﬀort reach alcoholics May 4, 1940 – Sunday Star reports founding of frst outside married middle-class catEgory. AA group in Washington, DC. December 6, 1939 – Bert the Tailor lends Works June 5, 1940 – Ebby Tacher takes a job at the NY Publishing $1000. World’s Fair. January 4, 1940 – Te frst AA group formed in June 6, 1940 – Te frst AA Group in Richmond, Detroit, Michigan. VA, is formed. January 10, 1940 – Te frst AA meeting not in a June 15, 1940 – Te frst AA Group in Baltimore, home meets at King School, Akron, Ohio. MD, is formed. February 1940 – Te frst AA clubhouse opens at June 18, 1940 – One hundred attend the frst 334-1/2 West 24th Street, NYC. meeting in the frst AA clubhouse at 334-1/2 February 8, 1940 – Rockefeller dinner. West 24th St., New York City. February 8, 1940 – Houston Press runs frst of six July 7, 1940 – Bill attends 1st Summer Session at anonymous articles on AA by Larry J. School of Alcohol Studies at Yale University. February 28, 1940 – First organization meeting of July 8, 1940 – Te frst AA Group is formed in Philadelphia AA is held at McCready Huston's Dayton, Ohio. room at 2209 Delancy Street. July 23, 1940 – Philly AAs send 10% of kitty to March 1940 – Mort J. comes to LA from Denver; Alcoholic Foundation; sets precedent. starts custom of reading Chapter 5 from the Big September 1940 – AA group is started in Toledo by Book at Cecil Group. Duke P. & others. March 7, 1940 – Bill and Lois visit the Philadelphia September 1940 – Journal of Nervous and Mental AA group. Any drunk who wants to get well is Diseases gives Big Book unfavorable review. more than welcome at the AA meeting at 115 September 24, 1940 – Bill 12 steps Bobbie V., who Newbury St., at 8 PM Wednesdays. later replaced Ruth Hock as his secretary in NY. March 16, 1940 – Alcoholic Foundation & Works November 10, 1940 – Te frst AA group is formed Publishing move from Newark to 30 Vesey St. in Minneapolis. in lower Manhattan. First headquarters of its own. November 12, 1940 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Boston. April 1, 1940 – Larry J. of Houston, writes "Te Texas Prayer,” used to open AA meetings in November 14, 1940 – Alcoholic Foundation Texas. publishes 1st AA Bulletin.

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December 1940 – Te frst AA group is formed in May 3, 1941 – Democrat Chronicle in Rochester, St. Louis, Missouri. NY, reports frst annual AA dinner at Seneca December 1940 – Group is started in Ashtabula, hotel with 60 attending. Ohio due to Plain Dealer articles. AA Cleveland May 16, 1941 – Ruth Hock fnds that Joe Worth has about 30 groups. (former publisher of the New Yorker) is credited December 1, 1940 – Chicago Daily Tribune begins in Hank Parkhurst’s diaries with coming up a series of articles on AA by Nall Hamilton. with the name Alcoholics Anonymous, has a "wet brain.” February 15, 1941 – Baltimore Sunday Sun reports that the city's frst AA group, begun in June June 7, 1941 – Te frst AA Group in St. Paul, 1940, has grown from 3 to 40 members. Minnesota, is formed. February 20, 1941 – Te Toledo Blade publishes June 8, 1941 – Tree AAs start a group in frst of three articles on AA by Seymour Kalamazoo, Michigan. Rothman. June 30, 1941 – Ruth Hock shows Bill Wilson the March 1941 – Second printing of Big Book. Serenity Prayer and it is adopted readily by AA. March 1941 – Te frst Prison AA Group is formed July 10, 1941 – Texas newspaper publishes at San Quentin. anonymous letter from founding member of Texas AA Group. (Larry J.) March 1, 1941 – Jack Alexander's Saturday Evening Post article is published and membership jumps July 20, 1941 – Te frst AA group is formed in from 2,000 to 8,000 by year’s end. Seattle, Washington. March 7, 1941 – Boston newspaper reports that any August 1941 – Te frst meeting in Orange County, drunk who wants can attend that city’s frst AA California is held in Anaheim. meeting. August 19, 1941 – Te frst AA Meeting in March 9, 1941 – Wichita Beacon reports AA Colorado is held in Denver. member from NY who wants to form a group in September 13, 1941 – WHJP in Jacksonville, FL Wichita. airs Spotlight on AA. March 15, 1941 – Te frst AA group is formed in October 1, 1941 – Local news organizations report New Haven, Connecticut. Not reported in 1st AA Group in New Haven, CT. paper until Oct 1, 1941. October 6, 1941 – 900 dine at Cleveland dinner for April 3, 1941 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Dr. Bob. Florida. November 1941 – "First Mass AA Meeting" in April 7, 1941 – Ruth Hock reports there are 1,500 Oklahoma City, 8 present. letters asking for help as a result of the Saturday December 11, 1941 – Dallas Morning News reports Evening Post Article by Jack Alexander. 1st AA group is formed in Dallas. April 11, 1941 – Bill and Lois fnally fnd a home, February 1 or 2, 1942 – Ruth Hock, AA's 1st paid Stepping Stones in New Bedford. secretary, resigns to get married. April 19, 1941 –Te frst AA group in the State of May 17, 1942 – Te Dayton Journal Herald Washington is formed in Seattle. publishes pictures of AA members wearing May 1, 1941 –Te frst Wisconsin AA meeting is masks to protect their anonymity. held at a hotel in Milwaukee. May 17, 1942 – New Haven, CT paper has article May 2, 1941 – Jacksonville, FL newspaper reports on AA. Picture shows faces of members sitting the start of an AA group in Jacksonville. in a circle. May 3, 1941 – Te frst AA group in New Orleans, June 17, 1942 – New York AA groups Sponsor the Louisiana, is formed (sometimes dated as May frst annual NY area meeting. Four hundred and 2, 1943.)

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twenty-four hear Dr. Silkworth and AA June 21, 1944 – Te frst Issue of the AA Grapevine speakers. is published. June 19, 1942 – Columnist Earl Wilson reports that October 1944 – First non-American branch started NYC Police Chief Valentine sent six policemen in Sydney, Australia by Father T. V. Dunlea & to AA and they sobered up. "Tere are fewer Rex. suicides in my fles," he comments. October 2, 1944 – Marty M. founds National October 1942 – Te frst issue of Cleveland Central Committee Education Alcoholism, later Bulletin is published. becomes National Council on Alcoholism. January 1, 1943 – Columbus Dispatch reports 1st January 15, 1945 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Anniversary of Columbus, Ohio Central Group. Springfeld, Missouri. January 19, 1943 – Te frst discussion for starting January 24, 1945 – Te frst black group is AA group in Toronto. established in St. Louis. February 18, 1943 – During gas rationing in WWII, March 5, 1945 – Time Magazine reports Detroit AAs are granted the right to use cars for 12th radio broadcasts of AA members (Archie T.). step work in emergency cases. June 11, 1945 – 2500 attend AA's 10th Anniversary March 29, 1943 – Te Charleston Mail, WV, in Cleveland, Ohio. reports on Bill W.'s talk at St. John's Parish June 13, 1945 – Morgan R. makes a radio House. appearance for AA with large audience. He is May 8, 1943 – Akron AA Group celebrates 8th kept under surveillance to make sure he doesn’t anniversary with 500 present and sober. drink. July 23, 1943 – New Haven CT Register reports October 3, 1945 – AA Grapevine is adopted as arrival of AAs to study with E. M. Jellinek. national publication of AA. July 24, 1943 – LA press reports formation of November 1945 – Bill's article called 'Tose Goof all-Mexican AA Group. Balls' is published in Grapevine. August 1, 1943 – Washington Times-Herald (DC) December 20, 1945 – Rowland H. dies (he carried reports on AA clubhouse; to protect anonymity the Oxford Group message to Ebby). withholds address. January 1946 – Readers Digest does a story on AA. August 9, 1943 – LA groups announce 1000 March 1946 – Te March of Time flm is produced members in 11 groups. by NY AA oﬃce. October 10, 1943 – 6 of 1st 9 AAs attend clubhouse May 6, 1946 – Te long form of the "Twelve anniversary in Toledo. Traditions" is published in the AA Grapevine. October 24, 1943 – Wilson starts 1st major AA September 1946 – Bill & Dr. Bob both publicly tour, returns Jan 19, 1944. endorse National Committee Education November 28, 1943 – Bill guest speaker at San Alcoholism founded by Marty M. Quentin Penitentiary (sometimes dated Dec 2, September 1946 – Te frst AA group in Mexico. 1943). November 18, 1946 – Te frst Dublin Ireland January 1944 – Dr. Harry Tiebout's frst paper on group meets. the subject of Alcoholics Anonymous. March 31, 1947 – Te frst AA group is formed in January 19, 1944 – Wilsons return from 1st major London, England. AA tour started in Oct 24 1943. September 18, 1947 – Dallas Central Oﬃce opens March 10, 1944 – New York Intergroup is its doors. established. October 13, 1947 – "Te Melbourne Group" holds July 1944 – Bob writes article for Grapevine "On its frst meeting in Australia. Cultivating Tolerance.”

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November 1, 1947 – Te frst AA Group in establishment of AA General Service Anchorage, Alaska. Conference. January 1948 – Te frst AA meeting in Japan. January 1951 – AA Grapevine publishes memorial June 1948 – A subscription to the AA Grapevine is issue for Dr. Bob. donated to the Beloit, Wisconsin Public Library February 1951 – Fortune magazine article about AA by a local AA member. New York reprints in pamphlet form for many September 1948 – Bob writes article for Grapevine years. on AA "Fundamentals – In Retrospect.” March 1951 – American Weekly publishes December 1948 – Dr. Bob's last major talk, in memorial article for Dr. Bob. Detroit. March 22, 1951 – Dr. William Duncan Silkworth March 1949 – Dr. Bob considers idea of an AA dies at Towns Hospital. conference premature. April 25, 1951 – AA's frst General Service March 11, 1949 – Te Calix Society, an association Conference is held. of Roman Catholic alcoholics who are October 1951 – Lasker Award is given to AA by maintaining their sobriety through participation American Public Health Association. in Alcoholics Anonymous, is formed in October 1951 – Sister Ignatia writes "Care of Minneapolis by fve Catholic AA members. Alcoholics – St.Tomas Hospital & AA Started May 1949 – Te frst AA meetings in Scotland are Movement Which Swept Country" article in held in Glasgow and Edinburgh. "Hospital Progress," the journal of Catholic June 1, 1949 – Anne Smith, Dr. Bob's wife, dies. Hospital Association. In October 1954 – Te "Alcoholic Foundation" is renamed the September 1949 – Te frst issue of Grapevine is "General Service Board of AA." published in "pocketbook" size. November 21, 1952 – Willard Richardson, past November 15, 1949 – Bill W. suggests that groups Treasurer/Chairman of Alcoholic Foundation, devote Tanksgiving week to discussions of the dies. 12 Traditions. January 21, 1954 – Hank P. who helped Bill start December 7, 1949 – Sister Ignatia receives Poverello NY oﬃce dies in Pennington, New Jersey. Medal on behalf of AA. August 3, 1954 – Brinkley S. gets sober at Towns April 1950 – Saturday Evening Post article "Te Hosp after 50th detox. Drunkard's Best Friend" by Jack Alexander appears. August 28, 1954 – "24 Hours a Day" is published by Richmond W. May 1950 – Nell Wing becomes Bill W.'s secretary. September 17, 1954 – Bill D., AA #3 dies. May 1951 – Al-Anon is founded by Lois W. and Anne B. July 2-3, 1955 – 20th Anniversary Convention at St. Louis, MO. Te Tree Legacies of Recovery, May 18, 1950 – Dr. Bob tells Bill "I reckon we Unity, and Service, is turned over to the ought to be buried like other folks" after hearing movement by the old-timers. AA comes of Age. that local AAs want a huge memorial. October 1, 1957 – Book "AA Comes of Age" is July 28-30, 1950 – Te frst AA International published. Convention is held in Cleveland, Ohio. Twelve Traditions are adopted. Dr. Bob makes last January 1958 – Bill writes article for Grapevine on appearance at large AA gathering. "Emotional Sobriety.” November 16, 1950 – Dr. Bob dies. April 1958 – Te word "honest" is dropped from AA Preamble, "an honest desire to stop December 1950 – Grapevine article is signed by drinking.” both Bill and Dr. Bob recommending the

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February 23, 1959 – AA grants permission to April 1970 – GSO is moved to 468 Park Ave. "Recording for the Blind" to tape the Big Book. South, NYC. April 3, 1960 – Fr. Ed Dowling, S.J., dies. He was July 3-5, 1970 – 35th Anniversary of AA in Miami. Bill W.'s "spiritual Sponsor." "Declaration of Unity.” Bill's last public July 1-3, 1960 – 25th Anniversary of AA in Long appearance. Beach, CA. October 10, 1970 – Lois reads "Bills Last Message" July 11, 1960 – Time publishes article called at annual dinner in NY. "Passionately Anonymous" on the 25th January 24, 1971 – Bill W. dies at Miami Beach, Convention. FL. January 30, 1961 – Dr. Carl Jung answers Bill's January 26, 1971 – New York Times publishes Bill's letter with "Spiritus Contra Spiritum.” obituary on Page 1. September, 1962 – Te frst appearance of Victor E. February 14, 1971 – AA groups worldwide hold in Grapevine. memorial service for Bill W. February 1963 – Harpers carries article critical of May 8, 1971 – Bill W. is buried in private AA. ceremony, East Dorset, Vermont. November 1, 1963 – Reverend Sam Shoemaker July 31, 1972 – Rollie H. dies sober in Washington, dies. DC. July 2, 1965 – Te frst copies of "Best of Bill" and October 5-7, 1972 – 2nd World Service meeting is Pocket-Sized "12 and 12" are sold. held in New York. July 2, 1965 – Te frst "La Vigne,” Canadian April 16, 1973 – Dr. Jack Norris presents President Grapevine, is published. Nixon with the one millionth copy of the Big July 2-4, 1965 – 30th Anniversary of AA in Book. Toronto. Adopts "I Am Responsible." October 24, 1973 – Trustees’ Archives Committee July 16, 1965 – Frank Amos, AA Non-Alcoholic of AA at its frst meeting Trustee, dies. May 28, 1974 – Te frst World Service Meeting of September 19, 1965 – Te Saturday Evening Post AA outside North America is held in London. publishes article "Alcoholics Can Be Cured – July 4-6, 1975 – 40th Anniversary of AA in Denver. Despite AA.” World’s largest coﬀee server serves half million March 21, 1966 – Ebby dies. cups a day. April 1966 – Change in ratio of trustees of the September 19, 1975 – Jack Alexander, author of General Service Board; now two-thirds original Saturday Evening Post article, dies. (majority) are alcoholic. December 10, 1975 – Birds of a Feather AA group April 1, 1966 – Sister Ignatia dies. for pilots is formed. April 2, 1966 – Dr. Harry Tiebout dies. June 6, 1979 – AA gives the two millionth copy of the Big Book to Joseph Califano, then Secretary November 9, 1966 – President Johnson appoints of Health, Education, and Welfare. It is Marty M. to the 1st National Advisory presented by Lois Wilson, Bill's wife, in New Committee on Alcoholism. York. February 19, 1967 – Father "John Doe" (Ralph P.), December 6, 1979 – Akron Beacon reports death of 1st Catholic Priest in AA dies. Henrietta Seiberling. October 9-11, 1969 – Te frst World Service May 29, 1980 – "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" meeting is held in New York with delegates is published. from 14 countries. July 3-6, 1980 – 45th Anniversary of AA in New Orleans. First true marathon meeting is held.

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July 3-6, 1980 – Gay AAs have own program at April 30, 1989 – Film "My Name is Bill W." a 40th AA Anniversary in New Orleans. Hallmark presentation is broadcast on ABC July 22, 1980 – Marty M. early AA woman and TV. founder of NCADD dies. July 5-8, 1990 – 55th AA Anniversary in Seattle, August 1981 – Distribution of Alcoholics WA. Nell Wing given ten millionth Big Book. Anonymous passes 3 million. July 2, 1993 – 50 years of AA is celebrated in December 1982 – Nell Wing retires from GSO Canada. after 35 years of service. Oct 28, 1994 – National Council on Alcoholism March 22, 1984 – Clarence S., "Home and Drug Dependence celebrates 50 years. Brewmeister,” dies. January 19, 1999 – Frank M., AA Archivist since December 5, 1985 – Dave B., founder of Montreal 1983, dies peacefully in his sleep. Group dies weeks before 50th anniversary. His February 14, 2000 – William Y., "California Bill," story is added to the 4th Edition Big Book. dies in Winston-Salem, NC. July 5-7, 1985 – 50th AA Anniversary in Montreal, May 19, 2000 – Dr. Paul O., Big Book story Canada. Ruth Hock is given fve millionth Big "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict" (renamed Book. "Acceptance Was the Answer" in the 4th January 13, 1988 – Dr. Jack Norris edition) dies at the age of 83. Chairman/Trustee of AA for 27 years dies. June 2000 – More than 47,000 from 87 countries August 18, 1988 – Te frst Canadian National AA attend the opening meeting of the 65th AA Convention in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Anniversary in Minneapolis, MN. October 5, 1988 – Lois Burnam Wilson dies. July 2, 2000 – Twenty millionth copy of Big Book is given to Al-Anon in Minneapolis, MN. October 8, 1988 – Memorial Service for Lois W. at Stepping Stones, NY. January 5, 2001 – Chuck C. from Houston dies sober in Texas at 38 years sober. October 10, 1988 – Lois is buried next to Bill in East Dorset, Vermont. September 11, 2001 – 30 Vesey St, New York, location of AA's frst oﬃce is destroyed during the World Trade Center attack.

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Bibliography

Tis book is oﬀered as a reference and a set of resources to be used in understanding the origins and applicaton of the Recovery process outlined through the Twelve Steps as introduced through Alcoholics Anonymous in 1938. Tis process is used by more than 60 identifed 12-Step fellowships and an unknown number of private organizations for members limited by occupation, religion or other identifying factor. (For example, meetings only for Mormons, or Lawyers, or connected through another group or organization.) Tis book cannot be, and is not intended to be, the only guide to Recovery, Steps or the Twelve Step system. Tere are many other books, excellent books, examining history and application of the Steps, and Recovery beyond the narrow confnes of the Twelve Step process. Tere are a few books we would like to recommend because of their value to the authors and editors of Recovery Reader. We hope that you might fnd other personal benefts from examining and learning from these particular titles.

DRUNKS AND OTHER POEMS OF RECOVERY by Jack McCarthy Jack is the author of the emotional poem “Drunks” that provides the anchor for this book, We want you to know poet Jack McC. as who he was. We missed him by a few days when we tried to reach him to tell him the decision had been made to move forward with the second edition of the book. His other works share the experience of Recovery with a rich, full-tilt run into life from the unlikely world of the “Poetry Slams” from around the country. His website provides his life, his work and access to what he left us. He provided spirit to keep me going in the frst edition and, we hope, remains much appreciated beyond the cirlce of people who were lucky enough to know him. You can also enjoy his performance of “Be Careful What You Ask for” on Youtube: https://youtu.be/xsTZohyFFJE

And you can get his work in print and other media through: http://standupoet.net

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NOT GOD by Dr. Ernie Kurtz Tis was a landmark work where the history of Alcoholics Anonymous was examined outside the restrictions of the service structure. Tis means it approached issues many people within the World Service Oﬃce would not have allowed to be explored, and does not make every portrait it paints fattering. But Dr. Kurtz blazed a trail which many other writers, scholars and educators have followed. He also provided helpful guidance in the creation, and now the revision, of Recovery Reader, and it is through his work we found a place to stand.

THE RECOVERY BOOK, 2ND EDITION by Carolyn Dold, Dr. Al J. Mooney, M.D., and Howard Eisenberg Te Second Edition of Recovery has been released and is a serious historical updating of an early book showing the academic, medical and philosophical aspects of Recovery. Tis book provides physicians viewpoitns and experience with many decades actively involved with the problems of the individual in clarifying the problem of alcoholism and addiction through identifcation, treatment and life after treatment. http://theRecoverybook.com/

SLAYING THE DRAGON, 2ND EDITION by William White Tis is a book targeted at academic and professional communities, which contains a wealth of research on the histories of Recovery systems before the emergence of the Twelve Steps with rich documentation on the evolution of the movement in this country. http://goo.gl/qx0wBo

THE PRE-AA HISTORY BOOK by Bob S. Tis is a detailed work, lovingly compiled to cover the area from the late 19th Century growth and decline of Te Washingtonians, the psychological writings of Sigmund Freud and Karl Jung, through the Emmanuel Movement, the Jacobi Group and includes details on Te Oxford groups. Tere is no print-on-demand copy available at this time and the downloaded PDF is free to share with whomever you choose. Te book is avaialable at: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/102806363/PreAAx.pdf

– 248 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Additional Book Recommendations Recovery has invited personal refections, histories and biographies from its earliest days. Tis list is incomplete, but mostly because authors have risen, gained popularity with the Recovering community, and gone. Teir works were lost as publishing houses folded, or copyrights expired and the public no longer wanted to hear what they had to say. But you would be amazed at what a variety of stories they tell of times, communities and, above all, the people who brought our Program to us. We enjoy the gifts these authors have given us. Tey allow us to enjoy how our Program arrived, changed and became what we know today.

FROM AA WORLD SERVICES

AA comes of Age - AA World Services Dr Bob and the Good Old Timers - AA World Services Language of the Heart - AA World Services Lois Remembers AA World Services Pass It On - Bill Wilson and the AA Message, AA World Services FROM OTHER PUBLISHERS

AA Master Inventory - Dick B $25 to Purchase Read Free Online 2002 New Editions Available soon A Simple Program by J Big Book rewritten in Modern Language Alcoholics Anonymous Cult or Cure - Charles Buffe Anne Smith's Journal - Dick B. Beware the 1st Drink!! The Washingtonian Temperance Society and AA - by Bill Pittman, 1991 Blumberg Pittman Bill W. and Mr. Wilson - Matthew J. Raphael (pseudonym) Highly recommended!! Bill W. - Francis Hartigan Bill W. - Robert Thomsen c.1975, Published by Harper & Row Bill W., My First 40 Years, an Autobiography by the Cofounder of AA - Bill Pittman, Hazleden Publisher But, for the Grace of God… Wally P., Bishop of Books Changed by Grace: V. C. Kitchen, the Oxford Group, and AA - Glenn Chestnut, September 2006

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Changed Lives: The Story of Alcoholics Anonymous - Dennis C. Morreim 1992 Children of the Healer, the Story of Dr. Bob's Kids - Sue Smith Windows, Hazelden Conversion of Bill W - Dick B. www.dickb.com Courage To Change: Shoemaker - Bill Pittman and Dick B., Hazelden Diary of Two Motorcycle Hobos by Lois Wilson, Gratitude Press, This book was pulled from publication - scarce!!! Ebby the Man who Sponsored Bill Wilson - Mel B., 1998 Hazelden Getting Better Inside AA - Nan Robertson, 1988 Thomas Congan Books Grateful to Have Been There - Nell Wing How It Worked, the Story of Clarence H. Snyder - Mitchell K. Out of Print Read on Web Mrs. Marty Mann : The First Lady of AA - Sally Brown Hazelden My Name Is Bill: Bill Wilson: His Life and the Creation of Alcoholics Anonymous - Susan Cheever 2006 My Search for Bill W. - Mel B., 2000 Hazelden New Wine - Mel B., 1991 Hazelden Physician, Heal Thyself! - Dr. Earle M., CompCare Publishers Practice These Principles/What is Oxford Group - Bill Pittman, Hazelden Road to Fellowship: Role of the Emmanuel Movement /Jacoby Club and AA - Richard M. Dubiel, 2004 Silkworth: The Dr. Who Loved Drunks - Dale Mitchel-Hazleden 2002 Sister Ignatia: Angel of Alcoholics Anonymous by Mary Darrah, Loyola Univ Press) That Amazing Grace - Dick B., Paradise Research Publications The Higher Power of the Twelve-Step Program: For Believers & Non-believers - Glenn Chestnut 2001, The Collected Ernie Kurtz - Bishop of Books The Lois Wilson Story -When Love Is Not Enough - William G. Borchert, 2005

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The Natural History of Alcoholism - George E. Valiant The Roots of AA - Bill Pittman Hazelden - Out of Print - Original title: AA The Way It Began The Soul of Sponsorship : The Friendship of Fr. Ed Dowling and Bill Wilson - Robert Fitzgerald The Spirituality of Imperfection - Ernest Kurtz, Katherine Ketcham The Steps We Took: A Teacher of the Twelve Steps Shares His Experience, Strength, and Hope - Joe McQ There's More to Quitting Drinking than Quitting Drinking - Dr. Paul O., Sabrina Pub. To Be Continued-AA World Bibliography - Charles Bishop and Bill Pittman, Bishop Books OUT OF PRINT Turning Point AA Comprehensive History - Dick B. this Book covers all the bases. Oxford Akron Twelve Step Sponsorship: How It Works - Hamilton B., Hazelden Understanding the 12 Steps - Terrence T Gorski, Fireside/Parkside 1991 Women Pioneers in 12 Step Recovery - Charlotte Hunter

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SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

Internet Recommendations

In the 21st Century it would be irresponsible and options in various media. Te editors of this to publish this kind of book without references to book use silkworth.net regularly for general and the links that have become a serious part of our detailed docu-mentation. regular search for details and new resources. HINDSFOOT.ORG And, as with books, there are some which A site offering a scholarly tone and deep archive of become more valuable than others, and we would material on AA, the Twelve Steps, and the internal like to share the addresses of a few websites that and external history of people, events, organizations have become our favorites. and attitudes surrounding the growth of the Program. Listing does not indicate any association, Tis is an excellent resource for any student or endorsement or approval by the authors of the researcher, and also offers information of value to individual sites. individuals with an interest in the process, or Sponsors looking to improve their usefulness to others. XA-SPEAKERS.ORG Tis is the website that became a serious ANONPRESS.ORG channel of experience, strength and hope. Te Te anonpress.org site has been the source of name of the site comes from the fact that they study information, including various versions of offer recorded talks from many fellowships; AA, the Second Edition (public domain) version of NA, Al-Anon and others. Te “x” of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese versions xa-speakers.org is a place-holder. Which ever -A include a red-cover and camo-cover vest-pocket you fnd valuable here, they will keep it available. edition with original Chapter Five manuscript version and directory to most service offices You can search the site by fellowship, name, around the world; reproductions of the First event, or topic, and they usually have all the parts Edtion (red and yellow cover); ‘study editions’ of multi-speaker events. (hardback and paperback Second Editions with Te site is free and there is a request to each page faced with a lined blank page for support it through a PayPal donation button, and extensive annotation); an in-depth Concordance applying the Seventh Tradition to help the site to the frst 188 pages plus Appendix II; and a support its costs is a good thing. detailed index to the frst 164 pages. SILKWORTH.NET We recommend the free version of the index Named for Dr. Silkworth at Towns Hospital, to the frst 164 pages, which can be used through this site has become a staple for students and the online page and on that page there is a link to researchers for twelve step history and process. It download a free version to your computer. offers an in depth library, most of which can be (http://anonpress.org/bbindex/) downloaded and has been helpful in many papers Additional Web Resources

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aahistory.com

164andmore.com

thejaywalker.com

www.royy.com/concord.html

www.bigbookdictionary.com

barefootsworld.net/aahistory.html

whytehouse.com/big_book_search

Submit corrections, additions or deletions to [email protected]

– 253 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

SPONSORMAGAZINE.INFO

12 Step Fellowships

Anon Family Group Inc. Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA) 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway CMA General Services Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617 4470 W Sunset Blvd Ste 107 PMB 555 (757) 563-1600 Los Angeles, CA 90027-6302 al-anon.alateen.org www.crystalmeth.org

All Addicts Anonymous (AAA) Co-Dependents Anonymous Fellowship Services 40 Wickstead Way Office (CoDA) Thornhill, Ont L3T 5E4 PO Box 33577 Canada Phoenix, AZ 85067-3577 Tel: (416) 657 7771 coda.org alladdictsanonymous.org Co-Anon Family Groups World Services AA World Services, Inc., PO Box 12722 PO Box 459 Tucson, AZ 85732-2722 New York, NY 10163 (520) 513-5028 (212) 870-3400 co-anon.org aa.org COSA - Codependents of Sex Addicts Adult Children of Alcoholics WSO (ACA) ISO of COSA PO Box 3216 PO Box 79908 Torrance, CA 90510 USA Houston, TX 77279-9908 (562) 595-7831 /.llowship-Wide Services adultchildren.org 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste 118 San Antonio, TX 78209 Cocaine Anonymous WSO (CA) slaafws.org PO Box 492000 Los Angeles, CA 90049-8000 Debtors Anonymous General Service Office (DA) www.ca.org PO Box 920888 Needham, MA 02492-0009 Clutterers Anonymous World Service Toll Free: (800) 421-2383 - US Only (781) 453-2743 Organization (CLA WSO) PO Box 91413 Depressed Anonymous Los Angeles, CA 90009-1413 PO Box 17414 (310) 281-6064 Louisville, KY 40217 sites.google.com/site/clutterersanonymous

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Dual Recovery Anonymous Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen World Network Central Office for friends and family members of problem gamblers PO Box 8107 Gam-Anon® International Service Office, Inc. Prairie Village, Kansas 66208 PO Box 157 draonline.org Whitestone, NY 11357 (718) 352-1671 Eating Addictions Anonymous (EAA) General gam-anon.org Service Office PO Box 8151 GreySheeters Anonymous (GSA) Silver Spring, MD 20907-8151 greysheet.org (202) 882-6528 eatingaddictionsanonymous.org Methadone Anonymous (MA) methadonesupport.org/ Emotions Anonymous International (EA) PO Box 4245, St. Paul, MN 55104-0245 Marijuana Anonymous World Services (MA) Phone: (651) 647-9712 PO Box 7807 emotionsanonymous.org/ Torrance, CA 90504 1 (800) 766-6779 Emotional Health Anonymous (EHA) marijuana-anonymous.org San Gabriel Valley Intergroup PO Box 2081 Crystalmeth Anonymous (CMA) San Gabriel, CA 91778 General Services (626) 287-6260 PH 4470 W Sunset Blvd Ste 107 PMB 555 Los Angeles, CA 90027-6302 Families Anonymous (FA) (213) 488-4455 P O Box 3475 crystalmeth.org Culver City, CA 90231-3475 (800) 736-9805 Narcotics Anonymous (NA) FamiliesAnonymous.org PO Box 9999 Van Nuys, CA 91409 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) (818) 773-9999 400 W Cummings Park #1700 na.org Woburn, MA 01801 (781) 931-6300 NAIL - Neurotics Anonymous foodaddicts.org See Emotions Anonymous

Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA) Nar-Anon 529 N W Prima Vista Blvd. #301 A for friends and family members of addicts Port St. Lucie, FL 34983 Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters (561) 967-3871 22527 Crenshaw Blvd Suite 200B Torrance, CA 90505 Gamblers Anonymous® (GA) (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291 International Service Office nar-anon.org PO Box 17173 Los Angeles, CA 90017 NicA - Nicotine Anonymous World Services (213) 386-8789 419 Main Street, PMB# 370 gamblersanonymous.org Huntington Beach, CA 92648 Toll Free: (877) 879-6422

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Obsessive Compulsive Foundation ISO of Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) PO Box 961029 PO Box 70949 Boston, MA 02196 Houston, TX 77270 USA (617) 973-5801 (713) 869-4902 ocfoundation.org sexaa.org

PA - Pills Anonymous Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) pillanonymous.org PO Box 1585, Old Chelsea Station New York, NY 10011 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. (OA) PO Box 44020 SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Rio Rancho, NM 87174-4020 USA Fellowship-Wide Services 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste 118 On-Line Gamers Anonymous World Services San Antonio, TX 78209 (OLGA) slaafws.org 104 Miller Lane Harrisburg, PA 17110 Spender's Anonymous (612) 245-1115 spenders.org

Recoveries Anonymous Universal Services Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) Box 1212 World Service Office East Northport, NY 11731 PO Box 190 Benson, MD 21018-9998 Recovering Couples Anonymous WSO Office (410) 893-3322 (RCA) PO Box 11029 Workaholics Anonymous (WA) Oakland, CA 94611 World Service Organization (781) 794-1456 Post Office Box 289 recovering-couples.org Menlo Park, California 94026-0289 U.S.A. Phone: (510) 273-9253 SA - Smokers Anonymous workaholics-anonymous.org See Nicotine Anonymous Parents Anonymous (PA) SA - Sexaholics Anonymous Parents Anonymous® Inc. International Central Office 675 West Foothill Blvd., Suite 220 PO Box 3565 Claremont, CA 91711-3475 Brentwood, TN 37024 (909) 621-6184 (615) 370-6062 parentsanonymous.org sa.org

Submit corrections, additions or deletions to [email protected]

– 256 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

The Sponsor Magazine Symbol

When we started the Anonymous Review original square. It may show up in other forms in project, it became clear that we needed to change the future. the name. Sponsor Magazine was a thought, but we wanted a simple graphic that would convey the idea of sponsorship. Tis graphic came from consideration of several idea. • A Warning Sign (in Black and Yellow) • Te Steps • Each one following the one before him • Te one in front carrying a light In the original, square version it was clear there were two other peope on the steps - the one the man on the Steps was following, and someone following the frst follower. We have used the two-person symbol in the Original Graphic diamond ‘warning sign’ style, a circle, and the

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Recovery Reader Studies in AA, the Steps and the Process of the Program

Second Edition Winter 2016

– 1 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

EDITORS Joe A., Gary P., Rich T., and James W.

Additional material drawn from from: sober.org standupoet.net barefootsworld.net primarypurposegroup.org

Also see the list of suggested websites in Reference section for additional information. We would like to thank the estates of some contributors who have left a signifcant contribution to the lore of Recovery. We have been unable to contact the domain holders of some original websites and no claim against their work is intended by inclusion in this volume. If anyone from those websites can contact us, it would be much appreciated. Revised Edition published by sponsormagazine.info Winter 2016 Tis document is available for download without charge through Archive.org and through print-on-demand partners for hardcopy. sponsormagazine.info

Details available from:

sponsormagazine.info/reader.html

Release 2a

– 2 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Tis book is released under a Creative Commons, Attribution, Non- Commercial Use, Share Alike license. Tis means that you are given permission to duplicate the PDF or make photocopies as you see ft, but may not alter the material. Individual articles may show the original copyright holder, who retains all rights to his/her work.

– 3 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Table of Contents

How to Use Tis Book ...... 7 Forward to the Second Edition ...... 9 Drunks: A Poem ...... 15 Newcomers 20 A Message to Newcomers ...... 21 What Others Say About Us ...... 23 Twenty and Four Questions ...... 25 Te Four Questions ...... 26 What is the Cost? ...... 27 Te Words We Use ...... 30 Te Insanity of Alcoholism ...... 38 Te Steps and Program ...... 41 Issues Other Tan Alcohol ...... 50 What Does “Going to Any Lengths” Mean? ...... 58 Understanding Anonymity ...... 62 Looking at the First Tree Steps ...... 65 Spirituality 68 Religion and Alcoholism ...... 69 Stop Playing God ...... 71 Approaches to a Higher Power ...... 73 Prayers from the Big Book ...... 76 Problems with Prayer ...... 80 Te Peace Prayer of St. Francis ...... 86 Te Lord’s Prayer ...... 89 Tree & Seven: Te Full Prayer? ...... 93 Believer, Seeker, Agnostic, Atheist, Anti-Teist ...... 95 Atheism, Moral Psychology, and the Deus Non Vocatus in Early Alcoholics Anonymous ...... 101

– 4 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Alternatives to “God” ...... 106 Meditation for Beginners ...... 108 Steps & Traditions 113 An Overview of the Steps ...... 114 Te Birth of the Twelve Steps ...... 119 Te Original Six Steps ...... 120 Looking at the First Tree Steps ...... 122 Simple Directions ...... 125 Your Fourth Step Inventory Notebook ...... 134 Inventory Prompts ...... 146 Step Five ...... 151 Step Six ...... 154 Step Seven ...... 157 Step Seven With A Worksheet ...... 159 Inventory Summary ...... 164 Steps Eight and Nine ...... 167 Step Nine - Doing It! ...... 174 Forgiveness – Te Missing Step ...... 179 Te Big Book on Forgiveness ...... 185 Forgiveness ...... 191 Step Ten ...... 197 Step Eleven ...... 199 Steps Ten and Eleven Together ...... 201 Step Twelve ...... 204 AA Traditions ...... 210 Sponsorship 227 Sponsorship ...... 228 Zen and the Art of Sponsorship ...... 234 Clancy’s Seven Questions ...... 237 To New Sponsors ...... 239 To New Speakers ...... 242 Active Listening ...... 248 Build Your Arch ...... 253 Why Carry Tis Message? ...... 256 Tat Ain’t in the Book! ...... 258

– 5 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Notes and Essays 267 How the Big Book Was Put Together ...... 268 Early Recovery Rates ...... 287 Stories in Diﬀerent Editions ...... 291 Te First 25 AA Groups ...... 293 Before AA ...... 295 Birth of the Big Book ...... 302 Big Book Names & Dates ...... 312 Principles of Recovery ...... 319 36 References to Principles ...... 323 Grief and Amends ...... 327 Twelve Warnings ...... 330 Tirty Eight Musts ...... 332 109 Promises ...... 335 Te Most Dangerous Part of the Alcoholic Brain ...... 345 Gossip and Te 13th Step ...... 351 Confict in AA Histories ...... 352 Recovery Rate = 1 ...... 358 More Tan Words ...... 359 References 374 AA Chronology ...... 375 Bibliography ...... 389 Internet Recommendations ...... 394 12 Step Fellowships ...... 396 Te Sponsor Magazine Symbol ...... 403

Throughout this book references to page numbers without assignment to other titles will be from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the Big Book.

Page numbers in this PDF edition and the similarly sized ‘print on demand’ edition may not match. The ePUB version does not use the page numbering system and allows content to be resized according to the device and reader.

– 6 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

How to Use This Book

Tis book is intended to be used: a) to serve as a personal enrichment course-in-a-book on Recovery and AA History. b) for a Sponsor who shares this information with someone they are attempting to help. c) to create a new class as appropriate to your area’s needs and opportunity by taking the suggestions and materials to assemble or revise as you see ft. It is not presented as the “only” way to do the work of sharing the Program, but it is a synthesis of work by over thirty authors with over half a century of eﬀective AA Recovery. Tis document is intended to be shared and may be downloaded in whole, in sections, or by individual articles through: http://reader.Sponsormagazine.info. Tis book may be shared so long as no fees are charged for the electronic fle and that the associated credits, copyrights, and notices remain with the fle. Te home page also provides a link to order a printed copy from a print-on- demand service. Print-on-demand is an outside service intended for convenience and price to compare with the printer, ink, and paper for printing out the pages of this document, or the costs of photocopies. Dr. Ernie Kurtz, author of “Not God” and other books on AA and Recovery, had a suggestion for the use of Recovery Reader. He was familiar with the "sortes Virgilianae", a method he and other students used to fnd a topic for conversation by turning to a random page of Virgil’s “Aeneid.” He suggested the same exercise be used with Recovery Reader - as excursions into self education, study or discussion based on opening to a random page. It is also called ‘bibliomancy’ - book magic, – 7 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te same thing has been done with the Big Book as a topic for a meeting, and same thing done for “Daily Refections” (random date), “As Bill Sees It” (random page), and other conference approved books as a starting point for group investigation.

– 8 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Forward to the Second Edition

Origins of This Book Te idea for this book came about in 2007, after two years of volunteering to teach an “Introduction to Recovery” class at the Healing Place for Wake County, a public homeless shelter with a curriculum for alcoholic and drug addicted men. It began as a simple Big Book reading where one man came in and read from the Big Book to the clients at the center. Te people attending the reading were men from the detox center, often still drunk or high from the streets, and the men in the shelter, who may or may not have an interest in getting sober. When he decided he could not keep doing his reading, he asked one of the editors of this book to take over. On the frst night the reading was from “To Te Wives” - Chapter Seven. Many of the men attending had never heard of AA or the Twelve Steps, and their frst exposure was from a part of the book dealing with Steps Nine and Twelve. Tey had not heard about Step One yet, but they were being read to from Chapter Seven because they had not been there for the earlier parts of the book. Without a clear sense of what came before Steps Nine and Twelve, the attendees could not be expected to understand what was being said to them. It was decided that from that point on, the class would focus on Steps One, Two and Tree – it would be an introduction to the Twelve Step Program of Recovery every week. Tere would be new people arriving every week so the decision was made to make sure everyone coming in, for the frst time, would be welcomed with a place to begin. Te class often had men who had already attended the introduction for a few times and, when there were no newcomers, we discussed the Inventory, Amends and lessons for later Steps.

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But every week we asked if anyone was coming to the Twelve Steps to deal with alcoholism or drug addiction, and if anyone said they were, we spent the opening of the class on the frst three Steps. A curriculum was developed from the body of literature that had grown up around the Twelve Step Process - books, internet and the wealth of original recordings from the people who brought the message to the fellowship during its frst eighty years. It became important to never claim to represent a new “orthodoxy” for Recovery – a “one true way.” We found a source, shared the information, and then compared that information with additional sources. When we found better information, we shared that. When we discovered we had stepped into a controversy between factions within the fellowship, we admitted that and presented the information from all sides. Te class was changed to mimic the process of Recovery. Show up, learn, share the best you can, learn more, share better, admit if you’ve made a mistake or discovered corrections to previous information. No secrets. No gossips. No continuation of old resentments, self-serving versions and personality over princples. To the best of our ability. Our Group Conscience Tis anthology is not the thought or eﬀort of one peson. Tis book was an expression of a group conscience. It is not the only, nor an ‘orthodox’, voice of Recovery. Some of the views may appear to be in confict with other statements, but they are all expressions of the experience of our members across space and time. It was not our purpose to tear away any of the viewpoints but to present what people found to help others fnd their own personal garden of living in Recovery. Although it was not identifed as part of our program the Twelve Traditions were adopted by the majority of the AA groups and have been part of our process as a collection of very diﬀerent people, beliefs, customs and geography. At the very beginning, the book Alcoholics Anonymous was the distribution of the ‘Multilith’ edition of the manuscript for what would become the Big Book. Tat version requested, and received, comments from members within the fellowship and our non-alcoholic friends outside that

– 10 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition fellowship, in a variety of occupations and locations. Subtle tweaks in the wording shaped a book that has served us for more than 75 years as of this writing. Tis collection represents authors sharing across eight decades of Twelve Step Recovery from cities all over the world. Some authors have since died; the words they wrote continue after their deaths to share the message of hope they were given in life. Te authors made their contributions from several countries and almost all of the states within the United States. Te editors for this second edition have included people from North Carolina, Connecticut, Delaware, California, Florida, Virginia, Washington, Idaho, Texas, Georgia and people in transit between locations. Take what you need, but don’t leave the rest. Take it, too - you may need it later. Free Access / Creative Commons Te class and the book have not been perfect and will never be perfect. But it is our hope this will provide a good foundation for any student of Recovery - newcomer, Sponsor, family member, academic or friend of people in Recovery. It was decided that the material gathered for this class would be made available through the internet. Tere were a number of documents released as PDFs and later it was determined that all of the material released would be under the Creative Commons license. Creative Commons is an open-source system that allows material to be freely copied and shared. It can be printed and shared or it can be shared as an electronic fles download. Te license we oﬀer states free duplication and sharing of documents and recordings, that these fles cannot be sold (other than real costs of photo-copying, when that applies), and the fles are not to be altered to hide the source or to claim the released material as an original work. Where material is under the copyright of the original author, that statement is included and the rights of the author take priority over the Creative Commons license. Today it is possible for the person new to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous to become lost in the myriad of meetings, books, sayings, slogans, and, (at times) conficting suggestions. It is also possible for the person new to reaching out to the newcomer to become confused as to the

– 11 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition best approach. A Recovery Reader, and its associated projects, provide a simple and understandable introduction to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Program of Recovery. From there, the book takes the reader through many facets of Recovery. In 1938, when the Big Book was written, Bill W. said: “Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. Tey will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must fnd a way out.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 153 No one could have imagined how large and widespread the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous would become. Fearing that they (the original members) would be overwhelmed with requests for help, the book Alcoholics Anonymous was published to provide a concise method of Recovery for the lone suﬀerer of alcoholism. While certainly the book inspired the formation of groups all over the world and has served as the foundational guide for Recovery, it could not provide one of the most essential ingredients to Recovery, one alcoholic working one-on-one with another alcoholic. Te importance of this relationship is borne out in Bill W.’s telling of the story of his encounter with Dr. Bob and the founding of A.A. Tis relationship between alcoholics would later become known as the Fellowship. Te material is laid out so clearly that the newcomer can easily acquaint him/herself with all facets of the Recovery program, building naturally on the basics to the more advanced aspects of sobriety. For the Sponsor, each section is available for individual download and can be easily distributed to Sponsees for study and discussion. For those that fnd themselves in an area where there may be a limited number of Sponsors available (or the Sponsor that is overwhelmed by Sponsees), A Recovery Reader includes a section on setting up classes to study the material. By far, A Recovery Reader may be the most comprehensive collection of Recovery resource material available for the newcomer and old-timer alike.

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Editing Te frst edition was released in 2011 and proved to have been premature. Te problems with spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sometimes with the actual information, made the frst edition less than the resource we had hoped it would be. Trough the use of copy editing this new edition (begun in late 2014) presents the material cleanly, accurately and with due diligence. At that time we did not know that it would take more than eighteen months to accomplish. Fresh information became available and, thanks to the internet, will continue to appear. We have included the information available at the time of publication. Tis is not a fnal, or perfect, edition. It is possible an edit was missed in the volume of information provided. Progress not Perfection is not an excuse, but we have come to accept it as the reality for releasing this kind of research volume. Anonymity Te question of names has been an issue in sharing these materials. Alcoholics Anonymous, and its dozens of descendant Programs, have a tradition of “anonymity” – at the level of press, radio and flm. Tis tradition has been the source of controversy from the introduction of Te Twelve Traditions. First, alcoholics do not take well to being told what to do. Proponents wanted to protect Alcoholics Anonymous from public embarassment due to the actions of individuals who, in the public mind, represented the fellowship. Tis was based on celebrities in early days of Recovery, who had announced their sobriety in the press, and whose subsequent relapses were also covered, in detail, in newspapers and on radio. Te purpose was not to discourage any individual from approaching AA because of the apparent failure of the Program – or because they did not like the public personality of the person associated with AA. Te anonymity also protected the newcomer. Tey did not come into the rooms dragging their job, their family or other issues with them. Tey began Recovery on an equal footing with everyone else in the room, united by their common problem.

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Opponents said that they were anonymous because of shame and that, in Recovery, we are to be the equal of anyone else in the general society. Some insisted that their last name be used in and out of meetings. Over time, as people moved into their professional lives, it was felt that public identifcation, if not as members of a specifc Twelve Step program, but as a person in long term Recovery helped to establish that ‘Recovery’ was a real thing. Even in the early 21st Century, many people do not believe that real change and Recovery are possible – they believe that all members of the recovering community will eventually relapse. Tis has also been the attitude of many people in the professional medical community. Tis book allowed living contributors to make their own decision about maintaining their anonymity as it relates to their own community. People were also free to choose anonymous attribution - usually their frst name and last initial. For deceased authors it was decided that, if that author, speaker, or presenter had been identifed publically by last name as a member of one of the Twelve Step Programs, then they would be identifed that way in this publication. We determined we would not ‘out’ anyone who had not been identifed through other sources.

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Drunks: A Poem

A speaker brought this poem to an AA History event in Raleigh in early 2011, but did not know the author. After some research, the editors were able to locate the author and got his permission to include it in the Recovery Reader, with the understanding the book would remain available for free download and that the Print-on-Demand edition never be a source of proft for the Sponsor Magazine project. We are happy to present this powerful poem to readers of the Second Edition, published with the same agreement with the author or author’s estates.

We died of pneumonia in furnished rooms where they found us three days later when somebody complained about the smell we died against bridge abutments and nobody knew if it was suicide and we probably didn't know ourselves except in the sense that it was always suicide we died in hospitals our stomachs huge, distended and there was nothing they could do we died in cells never knowing whether we were guilty or not.

We went to priests they gave us pledges they told us to pray they told us to go and sin no more, but go we tried and we died – 15 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition we died of overdoses we died in bed (but usually not the Big Bed) we died in straitjackets in the DTs seeing God knows what creeping skittering slithering shuﬄing things

And you know what the worst thing was? Te worst thing was that nobody ever believed how hard we tried

We went to doctors and they gave us stuﬀ to take that would make us sick when we drank on the principle of so crazy, it just might work, I guess or they sent us places like Dropkick Murphy's and when we got out we were hooked on paraldehyde or maybe we lied to the doctors and they told us don’t drink so much just drink like me and we tried and we died we drowned in our own vomit or choked on it our broken jaws wired shut we died playing Russian roulette and everybody thought we'd lost we died under the hooves of horses under the wheels of vehicles under the knives and bootheels of our brother drunks we died in shame

And you know what was even worse? was that we couldn't believe it ourselves

– 16 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition that we had tried and we died believing that didn't know what it meant to try

When we were desperate or hopeful or deluded or embattled enough to ask for help we went to people with letters after their names and prayed that they might have read the right books that had the right words in them never suspecting the terrifying truth that the right words, as simple as they were had not been written yet

We died falling oﬀ girders on high buildings because of course ironworkers drink of course they do we died with a shotgun in our mouth or jumping oﬀ a bridge and everybody knew it was suicide we died under the Southeast Expressway with our hands tied behind us and a bullet in the back of our head because this time the people that we disappointed were the wrong people we died in convulsions, or of "insult to the brain" incontinent, and in disgrace, abandoned if we were women, we died degraded, because women have so much more to live up to we tried and we died and nobody cried

And the very worst thing was that for every one of us who died there were another hundred of us, or another thousand who wished that we would die who went to sleep praying we would not have to wake up because what we were enduring was intolerable

– 17 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition and we knew in our hearts it wasn't ever gonna change

One day in a hospital room in New York City one of us had what the books call a “transforming spiritual experience” and he said to himself

I've got it (no you haven't you've only got part of it) and I have to share it (now you've ALMOST got it) and he tried to give it away but we couldn't hear it the transmission line wasn't open yet we tried to hear it we tried and we died we died of one last cigarette the comfort of its glowing in the dark we passed out and the bed caught fre they said we suﬀocated before our body burned they said we never felt a thing that was the best way maybe that we died except sometimes we took our family with us

And the man in New York was so sure he had it he tried to love us into sobriety but that didn't work either, love confuses drunks still he tried and still we died one after another we got his hopes up and we broke his heart, because that's what we do

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And the very worst thing of all the worst things was that every time we thought we knew what the worst thing was, something happened that was even worse

Until a day came in a hotel lobby and it wasn't in Rome, or Jerusalem, or Mecca or even Dublin, or South Boston it was in Akron, Ohio, for Christ's sake a day came when the man said I have to fnd a drunk because I need him as much as he needs me

(NOW you've got it) and the transmission line after all those years was open the transmission line was open

And now we don't go to priests and we don't go to doctors and people with letters after their names we come to people who have been there we come to each other and we try and we don't have to die —Jack McC standupoet.net

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Newcomers

You will need to determine if this is something to simply hand to your prospect, or if it is information you would like to dole out as needed. But the intent is to share with Newcomers.

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A Message to Newcomers

We all come to our Fellowship from many places – towns, cities, villages, and farms. We come from Park Avenue or a park bench, from Yale or jail. We are not united by our success, or fame, or wealth, or shame – we are united by the shared experience of having been lost, fearful, abandoned and alone. We are united by our failure. Together we have found the answer to our common problem and we have found a shared solution. We have found community with new brothers and sisters, new people to serve as families while we learn the new life and begin to repair, or lessen, the damage we have done in the throes of our pain and our common disease. But this is good news. You have made it to the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous - you will learn the nature of our ‘disease’. You will fnd the reason why you were unable to stop when you decided to stop. No matter how sacred a vow you may have made, no matter what pain you may have seen yourself cause to those you love, you still could not stop. Most of us did stop - temporarily. Maybe for a day, or a few months, but there was always another failure and more self hate as a result of that failure When AA began in 1935, almost no one belived that an alcoholic could be cured (and we have much the same attitude with addicts today). Tey arrived at churches and medical facilities and madhouses and prisons as a result of their steady decline. Famlies prayed and spent fortunes for cures, sanitariums and the help of legal and medical professionals. Sincere promises to stop drinking were made to themselves and others, and those promises were subsequently broken. We know the secret that no one without the problem knows: Te reason we always went back to drinking was because it worked. In the opening to our Big Book - the book Alcoholics Anonymous - Dr. Silkworth

– 21 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition of Townes Hospital said, “Essentially alcoholics drink because they like the eﬀect.” What is the effect? Alcohol is a depressant. It works on the same part of the brain as do opiates and THC (the active drug in marijuana). Tis is the lobe of the brain where humans make long term decisions. We depress our feelings. We lose our ability to plan for careers, happy families and a long life. But we also lose our fear, our guilt, our shame and dread for what may come next. And we also lose our ability to feel love, to be a true friend, and/or to live up to the teachings we have been given and claim to believe. We know things the people who never had the problem do not know. We know the sense of doom, and the sincere belief that things can only get worse. We know how the alcohol or drugs that once worked, stopped working. We know the terror of watching our lives spiral down. We make several promises to you, the frst of which is - You never have to pick up a drink again. You never have to pick up a drug again. You will fnd a way of living one day at a time that will free you from the burden of the past (but not the consequences of your actions). You will learn to deal with any problem - health, the death of a loved one, fnancial, legal, sexual and criminal - with people who have been through those struggles. We will show you what we have done. One of our frst promises is the title of one of the early chapters in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous - “Tere Is A Solution.” Tere is, and there is a world-wide community of people in our fellowship who will share that solution with you. Another promise is – you never have to go through your crisis alone again. Unless you choose to. You can choose to throw it all away – you can choose to start drinking again, start using again, you can choose to stop going to meetings and to exclude us from your life. Just stop going to meetings, get drunk, and get high. If you survive, we will welcome you back in. We don’t shoot our wounded. If you have made it to Alcoholics Anonymous, or one of the dozens of other 12-Step Programs that now exist…

Welcome. Glad you’re here.

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What Others Say About Us

Alcoholics Anonymous has only existed since 1935 but there is a large number of people who oppose us. Some of them have become very vocal and very visible. You will need to make up your own mind. Some say we are a cult. If so, we are a terrible cult - we don’t tell you what religion to believe in, what deity to believe in... we don’t even get to take your money1. You can leave and will be welcomed back…if you make it back. Some say that the AA process does not work and they give statistics to prove their point. We have to question how they get their statistics from a society that is anonymous, where no one registers or reports (although some have to get sheets signed for courts, schools, bosses or other authorities who may require them to attend). No one reports how many people attend a meeting, or who is staying sober. But, still, in every local fellowship you will fnd people celebrating their frst day or their frst few months, or a few years, or several decades, of sobriety. Some say we are a form of psychotherapy. We are not. If you are looking for therapy, go to therapy. We are a community of people who have shared certain experiences, who have found a way out of the lives that were destroying us, and want to share it. Some people say we are just trying to get everyone converted to Christianity or some other specifc religion. We have Protestants, Catholics, Evangelical and Orthodox Christians, and we have Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists and profoundly Anti-theists, all staying sober by making the phrase “A power greater than yourself” a new authority in their lives. What that power is, is up to you.

Some say that people in AA belive that only AA can help people get or stay sober. In fact, we hope you will fnd another method – people have simply gone back to church, made a commitment, gone to therapy, and been able to fnd long term sobriety; some people who go to therapy and deal with their personal demons are able to get and stay sober; some are able to just make a solemn vow to stop drinking and doing drugs and they succeed. Tey used to call AA “the last house on the block. Te place where you come after all the other methods have failed.” We are the people who have tried the other methods and they did not work – for us. We have tried all of the alternatives and have failed. In the Big Book it says... “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” Page 58 But we have seen people who had failed to fnd and maintain long term sobriety succeed. We invite you to begin and will share our experience with you.

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Johns Hopkins Medical Center

Twenty and Four Questions

Tis list was prepared by psychiatrists of Johns Hopkins University and has been very valuable in helping the drinker decide for himself whether or not he is an alcoholic. It was frst used as part of AA 12-Step work in Akron, OH. Answer these questions as honestly as possible. Do not read ahead. 1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? 2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? 3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? 4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? 5. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking? 6. Have you ever stolen, pawned property, or "borrowed" to get money for alcoholic beverages? 7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking? 8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare? 9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? 10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? 11. Do you want a drink the next morning? 12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? 13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? 14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? 15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles? 16. Do you drink alone?

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17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking? 18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking? 19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? 20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking? If you answered YES to one of the questions, that is a defnite warning that you May be an alcoholic. If you answered YES to two of the questions, the chances are that you Are an alcoholic. If you answered YES to three or more of the questions, it indicates you are Defnitely an alcoholic and in need of help.

ANOTHER WAY TO ASK THE TWENTY QUESTIONS Read them again, but change the word ‘drinking’ to ‘thinking’. Does that still apply? The Four Questions Only you can decide whether or not you are an alcoholic, although some professionals may oﬀer very strong opinions on the subject. Tere are four questions for you to answer to determine if you are an alcoholic: 1. When you take a drink, can you control how many drinks you will have? 2. When you take a drink, can you control how long the spree will last? 3. When you take a drink, can you control what you will do while drunk? 4. Has the question of whether or not you are an alcoholic come up more than once? For most alcoholics the answer to the frst three questions will be “no,” and the answer to #4 will be “yes.” If you now know that you are an alcoholic, or even fnd that you simply have “the desire to stop drinking,” you qualify as a member of AA.

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What is the Cost?

One saying that has been popular in AA for many years has been: “We are offering you our Program of Recovery and it doesn’t cost you a dime!” We do suggest you get a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, which we affectionately call “Te Big Book,” but people have gotten sober working the Steps through their Sponsor’s copy of the Big Book. We pass the basket to cover the cost of coffee, renting the room and supplying the free pamphlets. Some meetings still include covering the cost of a free copy of the Big Book to a newcomer and if you can’t afford a copy of the book in the beginning, almost all groups will make easy payment arrangements. But what about the costs? You can actually fgure out what it has cost you to sit in one of the chairs of our meetings. First do some simple arithmetic. How much did it cost to buy what you needed to get drunk or high on a daily basis. • How many years did you drink and/or use? • Multiply the daily cost by 365.25 (the number of days in a year). • Ten multiply the annual cost by the number of years you were drinking and/or using. You may have wanted to be the “big shot” by buying alcohol or drugs for others, so you need to add the costs of being ‘host’ and paying for the drinks or drugs to those you wanted to impress. Being the host provided a heady drug-like reaction by making you popular because of what you spent. But that isn’t the end of your calculations. • How many times did you miss work because of being too drugged out to do the work, and how many times did you show up and not do the work you were being paid to do?

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Te former is direct loss. Te latter is theft - taking money under false pretenses. • How much of your own possessions did you sell for much less than they were worth because you wanted money Now? Subtract the amount you received from the value of what you sold. • How many ‘loans’ did you get and never paid back? You might want to look at your willingness to get those loans, knowing you had no intention of repaying the person or institution providing the loan. Ten there is the more direct form of theft. Did you ever take money or goods from someone and sell them? Try to create a list of these thefts to arrive at a total, then add it to your list of costs. • Did you ever steal from a purse or pick someone’s pocket? • Did you ever rob someone face to face, with threats of violence or with a weapon? • Did you ever steal goods or money by sneaking into a place where you were not supposed to be, such as breaking into a car or burglarizing a home or business? Now, take the total of: • Te amount you spent on drugs or alcohol you used or provided. • Te total of unpaid loans. • Te amount of money which you either missed out on by not being ft to go to work, or by showing up and not doing the work for which you were paid. • Te total cash lost by ‘short-selling’ your own possessions. • All cash received from the sale of items you stole and sold. • All the money (and goods) you received by robbery, either by threats of violence or with a weapon or by burglary. What is the total of cash involved? We are not done. Tere are other costs that are not as simple to fnd.

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• What is the cost of damage to your relatives? • What about the damage you did to your parents? • Your spouse? • Your children? • What friendships were soured by your betrayal or by the drain you put on those who called you ‘friend’? • What were the consequences of holding a series of jobs instead of the career you planned? • Were you the owner of a business that failed because of your growing alcoholism or addiction? • Did you have employees who suﬀered because of your disease? Can you put a separate value to each of those? Tis is not an Inventory. Tis is simple accounting - what did it cost for you to come to meetings and sit in those chairs in all those basements, backrooms and rented spaces? And after all you paid out and lost, you don’t even get to take the chair home. It is usually not a nice chair, but it belongs to someone else. You leave it for the next meeting and the next alcoholic trying to do the work of the Steps. For some this may be the beginning of an honest review of their personal record of loss and damage. We oﬀer a system of ‘amends’ - the word means ‘to repair or make better’ - which is the beginning of improving a life that was a history of wrecking our own lives and the lives of people around us. Coming to meetings, working with a Sponsor, working the Steps - these are all available without charge, but we do expect you to do the Work to get the Result. Te Big Book gives promises. Tere are far more promises than those from Step Nine, which are read at the beginning of some meetings. One of the frst promises is the title of Chapter Two:

“Tere is a Solution”

– 29 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

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The Words We Use

We of AA have many words that seem to mean something different within our society of people in Recovery. Tey are not secret - they refer to the many tools that help us. The Steps Te key to our Recovery Program is found in “Te Twelve Steps.” Based on six steps from a previous Christian fellowship, the Steps were written in 1938 as part of the manuscript for the book Alcoholics Anonymous, called “Te Big Book” in AA. It contains the instructions for confronting your problem(s) - alcoholism, drug addiction or others which are the focus of dozens of newer 12-Step Programs - and then applying Te Steps to achieve and sustain ‘Recovery’. Recovery Recovery is our general reference for living life free from alcohol (or drugs or other substances or behaviors). Tis includes the process of confronting the problem, taking the actions (usually based on the 12-Steps or the actions required by those Steps) to repair (or make better) the things we ruined because of the disease – helping us to live life as a responsible, spiritually guided, adult human being. Meetings Regular meetings of AA are regular gatherings of people in Recovery, held by Groups. Te Group may host one meeting per week or many. Publications are available with a list of days, times, and locations of meetings in your local area. Tese lists usually are also available online. Attend several different meetings and several different types (Open, Discussion, Speaker, Book Study, etc.) to fnd the one you want to make your Home Group, and then attend the meeting(s) for that Group regularly.

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You will usually attend more than one meeting per week and are free to attend any of the meetings for which you qualify. You will fnd that attending meetings in other cities, states or countries can be a wonderful experience. Groups A Group consists of recovering alcoholics, usually the members who make the meetings possible. Tey gather one or more times each week to share their experience, strength, and hope. Joining a Home Group helps end your alcoholic isolation and helps build the foundation for the work ahead. Fellowship Te Fellowship consists of others who share our path to Recovery. Te Fellowship is expressed in Meetings; through Literature; through using the Phone between meetings; through the Steps; and the sharing of our experience, strength, and hope outside the meetings. Te value of the Fellowship becomes more important when members share with you how to get through a crisis you are confronting, based on their experience with the same situation. The Phone We use the telephone as our “meeting between meetings.” Regular contact with other people is a lifeline when new situations require us to deal diﬀerently with life on life’s terms. We call our Sponsors and call other people we have met in the meetings. We encourage you to collect phone numbers. And don’t just collect them - call them! Service We do Service to share our experience, strength, and hope; to make our meetings possible; to see how our experience can beneft others; and to give back to the Fellowship for what was given to us so freely. We become trusted servants - we do not govern. Literature Tere are many books on the subject of alcoholism and Recovery, but usually we are referring to two specifc books, published for and by the members of the AA Program. Tese two books are: Alcoholics Anonymous (Te Big Book) and Te Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Te 12 & 12).

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Tese two books give the specifc steps of our Program, which we have found necessary to attain and maintain our sobriety. Many other 12-Step Programs have their own versions of these books. Tere are many pamphlets available at most meetings or service offices. Tese address specifc problems or address specifc groups within the fellowship. Te books are available at our cost and the pamphlets are free. Sponsor A Sponsor is a person with substantial sobriety who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with you - to help you apply the 12 Steps to your life, to exercise the tools we offer. Tey share with you their personal experience in working the Steps. Sponsors are not therapists, counselors, bankers, or authorities. Sponsors are not perfect and may suggest other people in Recovery who may be able to help you with a specifc problem. Sponsors are just individual alcoholics working Recovery One Day at a Time. Find someone who has Recovery as you want it and ask them what they did to get it. Temporary Sponsor A Temporary Sponsor is someone willing to answer your questions. Tey may only be a little bit ahead of you on the path of Recovery. A Temporary Sponsor will help you for the frst month or two while you look for your permanent Sponsor. Steps Te Twelve Steps enable you to deal with life without the crutches of alcohol and drugs. Te Steps are written in order and must be worked in that order to be most effective. We work the Steps with a Sponsor and with the support of other members of the program who are ahead of us in the process - and we help those who come after us with what we have actually done. Te authority of AA comes from Page 20 of the Big Book - “We will tell you what we have done.” (Not theory or ideas or opinions we have heard, but our personal experience.)

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Singleness of Purpose AA has a set of guidelines for meetings, one of which calls for a “Singleness of Purpose.” In the days when that was written there were two Twelve Step Programs; Alcoholics Anonymous and Al Anon. In the decades since that time more than 60 public Twelve Step Programs have been developed that cover a wide variety of substances and behaviors. Each maintains its own ‘singleness of purpose’ to identify who may, or may not, attend their meetings. Usually it is defned as those who want to stop the substance abuse or behavior that threatens to ruin their lives. We do have some basic guidelines: Go to Meetings Go to meetings. Meetings are where you will make contact with the fellowship, fnd out what we mean by the Big Book and other references, get phone numbers, and discover how you ft into the AA fellowship. 90 in 90 Tere is an unofficial suggestion of committing to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. Part of the reason is that commitment gives you a real chance to understand what we have to offer, to learn of the different types of meetings available to you, and get valuable time detoxifying your body. And, at the end of 90 days, you may be able to have a clear enough mind to honestly answer the question: “Am I an Alcoholic?” Don’t Drink Between Meetings Do NOT pick up a drink (or a drug) between meetings. If you do not take a drink, you cannot get drunk. If you think you might drink put it off for 15 minutes, then another 15 minutes, and so on until you can get to a meeting. Use the phone to call someone before you take a drink - after you take a drink there is nothing they can do to help. People who have been around for many years tell us “It is easier to stay sober than to get sober!” “Clean and Sober” Tis phrase is often used to distinguish between alcohol and drugs as they relate to Recovery. However, when you look at the defnition of ‘sober’ we fnd:

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[soh-ber] adjective, soberer, soberest. 1. not intoxicated or drunk. 2. habitually temperate, especially in the use of liquor. 3. quiet or sedate in demeanor, as persons. 4. marked by seriousness, gravity, solemnity, etc., as of demeanor, speech, etc.: a sober occasion. 5. subdued in tone, as color; not gay or showy, as clothes. 6. free from excess, extravagance, or exaggeration: sober facts. 7. showing self-control: sober restraint. Only two of the defnitions deal with alcohol. Te rest have to do with a way of thinking, approaching or carrying oneself. It is the belief of most of the authors in these pages that ‘sober’ is the way of life learned when we have successfully excluded our triggering substances, behaviors and thinking from our daily lives. To stop, we stop. What we stop is indulging in the substances and/or behaviors that have ruined our health, our standing, our relationships and our negative eﬀect on those around us. And when we have stopped, we begin to learn new ways to behave and think - the ways taught by the Steps and practiced by those within our fellowship. Te programs teach us how to live after we have stopped drinking. Almost everyone coming into the substance-oriented Twelve Step Programs now knows about drugs, or has had a personal experience with them. Te Twelve Steps are used in other programs and the same process of stopping the abuse, and then working the steps is utilized to live a new life. A life that is focused on healthy behavior and a spiritual foundation that shifts our focus from being self- serving and selfsh to a new life of usefulness and service. ‘Clean’ refers to removing the substance from our body and our lives; ‘Sober’ refers to a way of living, which takes a while to learn and a lifetime to practice. Alcohol has been around for thousands of years. Alcoholism goes back as far.

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When we planted the frst crops, those crops were always grain - wheat, maize, oats, rye, millet and rice. We grew grain to brew beer and to bake bread. Anthropologists have not been able to tell us which came frst. From the beginning there were certain people who could not handle alcohol. Where others drank without damaging their lives or bodies, our alcoholic forerunners exhibited the same self-destructive cycle known today. When we added fruit to our agricultural development we made wine, and more people were found to be unable to avoid the alcoholic problems so well- known today. Adding distilled spirits into the mix brought an increase in human losses due to gin, whiskey and vodka. We do not need to go into further detail, since most of the people reading this book know the extent of the damage done through personal experience, or their association with someone who has suﬀered the adverse eﬀects alcohol can have. Drugs, such as marijuana, opium, ket, coca leaves and others, have also been around for thousands of years, but did not result in modern addiction until the early 19th Century with the British Empire’s opium trade with China, and the Dutch use of cocaine among slaves in the Carribean region. Get a Big Book Te Big Book is the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Copies are available for sale at almost every meeting. You can also get copies in used bookstores, or even the public library. We recommend you become familiar with the frst 181 pages (164 basic pages plus Dr. Bob’s story at the beginning of personal stories). If you are a member of another Twelve Step program, they may suggest you buy their primary book of direction for that fellowship, such as the book Narcotics Anonymous for the Narcotics Anonymous fellowship. Go to Several Book Study Meetings At Big Book Studies a portion of the book is read and the group discusses its meaning. Te Program is found in the Big Book and these study meetings will help you far more than reading the book by yourself. Get a Home Group When you have been to some meetings, it is suggested that you fnd a Home Group. Tat is a group you attend regularly where you get to know people (and

– 35 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition to be known). And get busy in your home group - help set up the room, make coﬀee, set up literature, greet people at the door. Play a role in making the meeting possible. It is called “Service.” Get phone numbers. Some people will oﬀer you their phone numbers - use them. Tere is nothing magical about having a list of numbers in your pocket. Call someone to ask what meetings they would recommend; call them when they’ve said something that specifcally addresses a problem you are having; call them before you take a drink. Use the phone numbers you get! Get a Sponsor A Sponsor is someone who is ahead of you in the Program. Your Sponsor will get to know your story, they will share their story with you, and your Sponsor will show you how to work the Steps. Do the Steps Tis means that you must get together with a Book Study or Step Study group to decode the secret meaning of the literature2. We recommend you also sit down with your Sponsor, usually at the same day and time every week, to go through the Big Book and follow the directions. When the Book asks a question, answer it. When the Book says pray, pray (or do your own equiavalent). When the Book says write, write. When the Book says share, share. When the Book says go do, go do. (But check with your Sponsor frst.) When the Book says to check yourself , check yourself. Be sure to remember, a) the Steps are in order for a reason, do them in order; and b) the Steps are not done once and then you are done. Each step is necessary for the Step that follows. Also, you accumulate the Steps. When you start Fourth Step, be sure you have Steps 1, 2 and 3 with you as you set pen to paper. When you get to the Ninth Step, be sure you have Steps 1–8 with you when you discuss your Amends

2 Most people do not realize there are two parts to the Big Book. Tere is the white part - that’s the paper. You don’t need what’s in the paper. Te black part is the ink - and that is where we have hidden all the important information. Tere is no third part. – 36 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition with your Sponsor, or whoever you are doing your Steps with. When you are ready to begin the daily exercise of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve, the previous nine Steps need to go with you, every step of the way. Te Steps teach us a way of life that other people seem to achieve without effort. For us, it is an effort. But it is worth the effort. Do Service Te meetings exist because people volunteer to set up the tables, make coffee, set out the literature, greet people at the door, or clean up after the meeting. Tis kind of service can help you to feel a part of the meeting and gives you the opportunity to talk with people casually.

Repeat on a daily basis

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The Insanity of Alcoholism

Te Insanity of Alcoholism is NOT the goofy behavior that people exhibit when they are drunk. Everyone who ingests enough alcohol will act goofy. Te Insanity of Alcoholism is the alcoholic's persistent return to alcohol in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is destroying his or her life. Tere are some in our fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous who have serious mental problems, but most of us joke about how "insane" or "crazy" or "goofy" we are or have been. When what we really are talking about is our emotional immaturity, our impulsiveness, our lack of self-discipline – our character defects if you will. Most of us would have a hard time describing many of our thoughts and actions as being insane. In fact, in some areas of life, we may exhibit a high degree of sanity. However, there is something about the way we perceive the world around us that has always caused us a great deal of discomfort in simply living our lives. Our general discomfort with living has much to do with the way we perceive the eﬀects of alcohol. Our falling short of what is called "well-adjusted" is defnitely a part of our makeup as an alcoholic. However, that alone does not separate us much from the general population. It is our physical as well as our mental response to alcohol that is INSANE, and that is what separates the alcoholic from the non-alcoholic. Tere are two problems alcoholics have with alcohol: 1)the obsession of the mind, and 2) the compulsion of the body, an incomprehensible craving. Somewhere along the line, early or late, we develop an obsession with the idea that alcohol eases our minds and solves our problems. Ten, our physical response to alcohol manifests in what the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” calls an allergy. Our alcoholic bodies process the alcohol in a manner that causes us to crave more. Te alcoholic insanity of our minds tells us that it is a good idea

– 38 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition to drink to relieve our stress and to have fun. Once we start, our alcoholic bodies tell us we must drink more to satisfy the craving. As every alcoholic should know, that is where the well-known cycle begins, and continues over and over again, leading to death, incarceration, or "wet brain" insanity. What Dr. Silkworth called the "phenomenon of craving," manifesting as an "allergy," is so overpowering that all else comes in second to our primary concern of getting the next drink, even life itself takes second place. Tat, my friends, is the "insanity of alcholism." It is only relieved and arrested by total abstinence, and as we have found, by the thorough application of the 12 Steps of AA in our lives and in all of our aﬀairs to achieve a psychic change, a "spiritual awakening," leading to growth and maturity, and a frm grasp of the reality of life and the world about us. A young man (with tears in his eyes) at his frst AA meeting said: "I'm here because I just want to live ... that's it ... I just want to live." It is as Simple as that!!! Love and Peace, Barefoot Bob H.

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19th Century Engraving of the common attitude toward drinkers at the time.

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The Steps and Program

What They Are—What They Are Not AA (the aﬀectionate nickname for the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous) is something diﬀerent. If you think you know what it is, it will disappoint you and you will go away looking for what you expected to fnd. You will miss what it is and, if you are an alcoholic of our type and moving along that doomed path, what it is may save your life. People come to AA and try to tell themselves they already know what it is. When AA turns out to be something other than what they expected before they arrived, they miss the message and the hope, and go away disappointed. Some people think AA is a church. It isn’t. AA is a lousy church. We say that you have to have a power greater than yourself, which most of us call God, but we do not tell you what to believe. If you want church, go to church. Tat’s where they do “church” right. Tey think AA is therapy. AA is lousy therapy. If you want therapy, go to therapy. Tat’s where they do “therapy” right. Many of us have used therapy as part of our program, but AA is not therapy. Tey think AA is social services. Some AAs have been known to share cigarettes, rides, or have allowed a newcomer to sleep on the couch, but AA is lousy social services. Go to social services for that - they do it better. The Preamble “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. “Te only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Tere are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own

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contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.” The Big Book Te Big Book is the book “Alcoholics Anonymous,” frst published in 1939, written primarily by Bill Wilson and edited through discussion between the two AA groups (approximately 100 alcoholics) with additional input from family and various professionals. Te book was written to carry the system of 12-Steps for Recovery - Recovery from the hopeless condition of alcoholism. It marked the frst time a system was in place that could be worked if the instructions were followed. “Do the Work and you get the Result.” The Twelve Steps Te Twelve Steps are a set of principles, spiritual in nature ... Although based on the work outlined by the Oxford Group, a previous fellowship, the Steps were actually written down for the frst time in 1938 during the writing of the Big Book. The Program Te Program is the system of Recovery. Like all programs it is “a set of instructions to be followed in order.” Tis means that jumping out of sequence makes it impossible to work the Program eﬀectively. Te Program is referred to a couple of times in the Big Book as “a design for living” that really works. It is based on the Twelve Steps, which are to be used as tools in our daily life The Fellowship Te Fellowship is the collection of individuals, groups, and service structure that allows the regular meetings to exist and allows newcomers to fnd those meetings. Te Fellowship is where we fnd the experience, strength, and hope of our members, whether in a discussion meeting, from the podium at a speakers meeting, or across two cups of coﬀee in a late-night diner.

– 42 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition The Literature Te Literature refers to those pieces of “conference approved” books, pamphlets, and multi-media presentations that have gone through the process of review and revision by the fellowship through the World Service Organization (WSO). Te purpose of “conference approved” literature is to ensure that the content is a result of our shared experience in Recovery – not just an opinion from one person. Conference approved literature includes: Alcoholics Anonymous – Te Big Book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions – Te 12 & 12 Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers – AA History, the Akron viewpoint from Dr. Bob Pass It On – AA History, the New York viewpoint from Bill W. AA Comes of Age – AA organizational history starting with the 1955 World Service Conference. Living Sober – Daily Guide for living the AA way. Came to Believe – Exploration of 2nd and 3rd Step topics. Language of the Heart – Bill Wilson's articles from the Grapevine Experience, Strength & Hope – a collection of all of the individual stories of Recovery from all four editions of the Big Book Daily Refections – A book of refections by AA members for AA members Grapevine – AA’s magazine Tere are other “conference approved” books from WSO, plus several dozen pamphlets addressing individual topics of interest to those in Recovery. The Twelve Traditions Te Twelve Traditions are a series of suggested guidelines to ensure the survival of AA and the independence of the individual and groups that compose AA. Tey are based on our frst few decades of trial and error and do not hold the

– 43 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition power of law over members or groups. Tey serve as guides based on our previous experience, strength, and hope as a Fellowship. The Twelve Concepts While the Steps and Traditions are commonly discussed in many meetings, there is a third document that is used in guiding the conduct of AA service boards or committees. Te concepts are not a secret, but people usually do not encounter them until they have established their own Recovery for a couple of years and are ready to get involved with Service in a more structured setting. Te concepts are usually read at the beginning of meetings for local Intergroups, District Committees, Area Conferences and WSO functions. More on the Steps Alcoholics Anonymous is a Program3 of Action, and the Twelve Steps are the Actions that we have followed to attain and maintain Sobriety. Working the Steps gives us the simple and direct actions necessary to help us from picking up a drink or any other mind-altering substance outside of direct medical supervision. Working the Steps helps us fnd the way to deal with the guilt, shame, remorse, and fear that arises when we have stopped medicating ourselves with alcohol (and often with other substances and behaviors). Working the Steps helps us learn to face and heal our pasts giving us time in the present to enjoy our lives, to become positive contributing members of our families and communities, and to live without the Fear that formerly drove our lives. Working these Steps leads us to a Spiritual Awakening. It is not required that the desire for Sobriety exists for us to begin working the Steps. Tat can come later. How could you want Sobriety? How can you want something that was not part of your life before? How many people do you party with who were sober? If you had a period of sobriety from one of the many methods available but went

3 A Program is “A set of instructions, to be followed in order.” Tis is true of computer programs, football programs, band programs, etc.

– 44 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition back to drinking, how much of your experience was a real commitment to being Sober? You do not have to want Sobriety to begin. You only need to know Step Zero. At this point it is only necessary that you know your life cannot continue on as it has. You do not need to know the new way yet, but only be convinced that the old way must stop, no matter what! At this point most alcoholics begin a long struggle to stop on their own – and to stay stopped. In the Big Book this is well described in the chapter “More About Alcoholism”: “Here are some of the methods we have tried: “Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing oﬀ forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums; we could increase the list ad infnitum.” - Page 31, Alcoholics Anonymous Since the time when that was written, we have added professional treatment centers, drugs to keep you “sober,” therapies, workshops, books, classes, tapes, CDs, websites, and support groups — along with those who oppose one or more of these approaches. Te program of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses these other methods in two of its traditions: Tradition Nine: AA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. Tradition Ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Troughout AA literature they acknowledge that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to achieve and maintain Sobriety. For some people those other techniques have worked.

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Some problem drinkers have simply set their minds to achieve Sobriety, fought the battle alone, and won. Others have gone back to church, stopped drinking, and lived new, sober, and successful lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, and lived healthy, successful lives. But people in AA know the other side of that reality — we have seen people who have come, achieved success to the point of achieving years of Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and death. And death is not the worst thing that can happen when someone goes back to drinking. When Step Zero has been achieved, years of struggle can end in disaster. At that point, you have the choice to try another method, or (if you feel your problem and your life is as we describe it, you may then choose to join us and work the Steps. Why Work the Steps? “Working the Steps” means following the directions given in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, which presented the Steps that are now used by more than sixty Twelve Step fellowships. Step One is diﬃcult. It is a merciless admission that goes against everything an alcoholic has believed about his or her mastery of life. Many people fght admitting that they are in the grip of a disease and mental compulsion that they cannot consciously master. Despite all evidence they have before them, the true alcoholic believes that with more strength, with more will, with more determination, they will one day be able to control their drinking and return to drinking without the problems and consequences. “Many pursue this delusion to the gates of insanity or death!” Page 30 Until they admit to their innermost selves that if they take a single drink, they cannot guarantee how long they will drink, how much they will drink, what they will do while drunk, or where they will be when they wake up. “Lack of power, that is our dilemma.” Page 45

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Te powerless of this dilemma makes Step One require a great deal of work, made more diﬃcult by the fact that we do not have the authority to declare any man or woman to be an alcoholic. “We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.” Page 31 Te First Step requires something simple yet very diﬃcult — the new man or woman must determine for himself or herself if the conditions of Step One are true. Tis means you must become honest enough to admit that these conditions are already true. Step Zero For most of us, Step Zero has been taken by screaming something like: “Tis must STOP!” Step Zero is that point where you understand that your Problem, as shown through excessive drinking and/or drugging, has got to stop. Tis is not a Step from the Big Book, but everyone we have encountered who has succeeded with fnding and maintaining Sobriety reports that they reached this point. Troughout AA literature they acknowledge that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to achieve and maintain Sobriety. For some people those other techniques have worked. Some problem drinkers have simply set their minds to Sobriety, fought the battle alone, and won. Others have gone back to church, stopped drinking, and lived new, sober, and successful lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, and lived healthy, successful lives. But people in AA know the other side of that reality — we have seen people who have come, achieved success to the point of taking years of Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and death. And death is not the worst thing that can happen when anyone goes back to drinking.

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When Step Zero has been achieved, years of struggle can end in disaster. Have you reached Step Zero? Have you tried everything within your power to get sober and to stay sober? Is your life, with or without alcohol, unmanageable? Tis means the results of your best thoughts, plans, eﬀorts, and actions have been tried and the results have been completely unmanageable by you. We do know that people who fnd AA (and not everyone knows about Alcoholics Anonymous) who stay and who actually do Te Work of the Twelve Steps, do recover. Even if they don’t believe it will work. Even if they don’t like it. Even if they don’t understand it. Even if they are uncomfortable doing Te Work. Even if they are not religious. Even if they don’t fnd the spirituality others would approve of. Even if they use the AA Group itself as their Higher Power. Even if they suﬀer great reversals in health, love, and fnances. Even if they fnd great success in health, love, and fnances. Even if they have no idea of what a “spiritual life” might be. Even if they lived what they thought was a deeply “spiritual life” but returned to drinking and the dark despair that comes with relapse. Even if they believe there is no hope. Te Twelve Steps do not require that you believe Recovery is even possible when you come through the door. You only need to know that you cannot continue the way of life you have led before. You might come in because of a threat from a spouse, or a judge, or a doctor, or an employer. It doesn’t matter. Show up. Come to see if what we have can help you. Come to see if you are really an alcoholic — or not. If you decide you are an alcoholic and have seen people with the kind of Recovery you would like to have, do the Steps.

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Do Te Work, even if you don’t think it will work for you. Te Twelve Steps work. Period.

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Issues Other Than Alcohol

A Short History of Drug Abuse For most of US History, alcohol has been legal. In some communities, and briefy on the national level, it was made illegal, but that never resulted in a lack of alcohol. From the beginnings of the drug trade in the 19th Century, drugs were not regulated, forbidden, or illegal. Tey were looked down upon, like alcohol, and identifed their own class of addicts as alcohol attracted its alcoholics. It was the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs that identifed the problem they created. While alcohol and drugs were legal, both were highly proftable industries that defended themselves from legislation. Prohibition drove the problem of alcohol into criminal hands. Alcohol became more proftable when controlled by the underworld. Drugs too went from legal industries to criminalization, and profteering by the underworld, and some of the newer drugs were created for legitimate reasons, but found their way into underworld channels. Te frst pain killer was alcohol and it remained the only option for many lifetimes. When morphine entered the country, it was a hit for medical therapies and was highly addictive. During the Civil War soldiers of the North and South became so hooked on morphine, it was identifed as “Te Soldier’s Disease.” In the magazines of the day, ads could be found that oﬀered the cure for Alcoholism, the cure for Morphine addiction, (the cure for morphine addiction was…heroin). Tere were advertisements for brewery equipment, needles, and mail order drug sales, often on the same page. Cocaine was introduced in the south and on plantations in Latin America, to get slaves to work faster – and was accompanied with a series of drug laws that can only be described as racist.

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Public outcry demanded that all drugs be banned, but the lobbies for two of the drugs were too strong to permit such legislation. Tose two drugs are still in use today: nicotine and caffeine. By the 1930s, everything except nicotine and caffeine became underworld commodities, and moonshiners continued to produce alcoholic beverages after prohibition when the taxes were felt to be unfair. After World War II, a whole new galaxy of drugs began to appear, only to be banned one at a time in later legislation, either locally or federally. Te use of tranquilizers, diet pills, recreational formulations, hallucinogens, and “designer drugs” began and continues to rise to this day. 12-Step programs make it clear that it is not the substance that creates the alcoholic or the addict. “Terefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body...” Page 22 Exploration of this statement in relation to the changes in our society, in medicine and psychiatry, since the days when the Big Book was written, brings new questions related to prescriptions and mental health. A Short History of Mental Illness Like alcoholism and drug addiction, there is nothing new about Mental Illness except for the name. For centuries, people with a wide array of problems that now come under the umbrella of “mental illness” were known under other names. Tey were “mad,” “inverted,” “selfsh,” or (most unfortunately) “demon possessed.” Untreated and without hope, these people were shunned or isolated, at best. Professional remedies consisted of exile, expulsion, imprisonment, confnement, experimentation, and attempts to heal the coditions with methods we now call torture, or even sanctioned murder. Treatment models began to appear in the 19th Century and continue to evolve. For example the “belladonna” treatment for alcoholics, subjected sufferers to an array of revolutionary treatments with limited success, if any at all. Water treatments, electric shock, “magnetic” treatment, lights, salves, aromas, symbols, diets, restraints, magnets, radio waves, radiation, and bizarre concoctions passed into and out of favor.

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Te evolution of psychiatry as “the talking cure” seemed successful for the depressed, neurotic, or those driven into “crazy” behaviors as a response to events in their lives, but not until the latter part of the 20th Century did a pharmacological component enter the treatment. Certain conditions, it appeared, were the result of actual chemical imbalances in the body of the afflicted. Lithium salts produce positive results in manic- depressives (now called bi-polar), but other drugs were developed that produced varying degrees of success in the patients identifed as mentally or emotionally ill. While a good argument can be made that the professional community began prescribing these drugs to quiet a patient’s symptoms (and complaints) without affecting real change, others report that the judicious use of psychologically prescribed drugs could elevate the psychotic to the point where they could enjoy the same substance or behavior free life as any other candidate for membership in AA. If they had the desire to stop drinking (which assumes they had experienced a problem with alcohol) they could get sober and work the Steps as equals. “Te capacity to be honest,” which had been impossible to produce before, was appearing in men and women who would have previously been considered unreachable. Individuals in AA, who have no training in medical or psychiatric matters, who would never presume to prescribe for polio, toothache, cancer, or other medical problems, sometimes feel fully qualifed to pronouce judgement on anyone in treatment. We have heard many stories of people in treatment for mental illness with a grumble of “you’re not really sober if you take that dope from the doctor.” Time and again, newcomers who want to be ‘good AAs’ have gone off their medications based on such advice, had psychotic breaks and if they were lucky enough to make it back to sobriety, were subjected to the same judgement by amateurs who feel qualifed to speak despite their complete ignorance of the medical realities for that person. Someone who has no training or degree may drive a newcomer away with their judgements. Tis person is simply indulging in his or her own infated Ego. If they are not a psychiatrist, they have an ‘opinion’ - which costs nothing and may not be correct for this newcomer. Again -

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“Terefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body...” Page 22 Necessary Medications In the beginning of Chapter Five, the Big Book refers to those “… who suﬀer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.” In the progress of psychiatry, pharmacology, and various therapies, those with the grave emotional and mental disorders of Bill W.’s day can be elevated to the same starting point as any other alcoholic through judicious use of appropriate medications. For decades, individual members of AA have demonized anyone in such circumstances with the taunt, “if you’re taking pills, you aren’t really sober.” Over the years, unknown numbers of alcoholics, really wanted to be sober, have listened to the reprimand, thrown away their prescribed medications, and were quickly lost in drunkenness or various forms of social and literal suicide. One member in a local fellowship who picked up a 20-year chip after almost 20 years of trying to get one year of sobriety, told the gathering at his Home Group: “I listened to people who told me that if I didn’t stop using my meds, I wasn’t sober, and I wanted to be sober more than anything. So I threw away my meds and wound up psychotic, drunk, and in jail or a hospital – or both. Without my meds, I cannot get to the starting point of being honest.” Guidelines for Prescriptions Over the years, a few guidelines have evolved regarding how to deal with the prescriptions required by those in medical treatment for mental or emotional problems. Tese guidelines may or may not be acceptable to people within Alcoholics Anonymous. 1. The patient does not choose the substance. 2. The patient does not choose the amount. 3. The prescription must be written by a doctor who has seen the patient and knows the specifics of his/her case. 4. The patient describes to the doctor his/her condition, sobriety needs, and concerns regarding prescriptions.

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5. The patient always asks if he/she can take less than the prescribed amount. (Never more.) 6. Having expressed those concerns with the doctor, the patient takes the prescription as prescribed. 7. Taking one milligram (1 mg) over the prescribed dosage is using and the sobriety date must change. Patients may want a second opinion on their treatment, which should be discussed with his/her Sponsor, before changing physicians. Te Sponsor can be of no use if the person attempting to fnd lasting sobriety is not open and honest with that Sponsor. Over the years a series of guidelines have evolved to guide a sober member’s relationship to prescriptions that are judged necessary to maintaining Recovery, specifcally realated to chemical imbalances related to mental health: Everyone in AA has opinions, but it is unfair to risk another’s sobriety or life based on mere opinion. Identification in Meetings Te Tird Tradition states the only qualifcation for membership is that a person attending must have “the desire to stop drinking,” but not to the exclusion of all other Recovery needs. One member expressed the idea best with a simple statement: “I have other substances in my story, but in an AA meeting, I do not share my war story from those substances. I share my Recovery. I never want to be responsible for a newcomer leaving their frst AA meeting thinking ‘I don’t belong in AA, I never used ______.’” Tat does not mean that one is supposed to be a ‘pure’ alcoholic, which almost seems to be a contradiction in terms. Te strict identifcation of your own needs in Recovery does come into play with “closed meetings”. “Open” meetings may be attended by anyone, whether they qualify as an alcoholic or not. “Closed” meetings require that ONLY people who qualify as an alcoholic may attend. By tradition, every AA meeting has the right to set up their meeting as they see ft and some meetings are strict about being an alcoholic.

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But it has never been said that if you are an alcoholic, you must be ‘just’ an alcoholic. In his story, Bill W. writes of the use of heavy sedatives, Dr. Bob was given a “goofball” on the morning of his frst day of sobriety, and several authors whose stories have appeared in the back of the four editions of the Big Book have shared that drugs have also played a part in their stories, and their personal recoveries. Dozens of other 12-Steps programs began to appear as we recognized that abusers of other substances and behaviors could beneft from this program of vigorous action and spiritual awakening. Al-Anon became an oﬃcial new program, closely followed by Narcotics Anonymous (NA). When one identifes with Alcoholics Anonymous, it does not mean that Recovery is not needed for the abuse of other substances and/or behaviors. Many of us need to keep in mind several defnitions of ‘sobriety’ as we go about our daily lives. We have watched people claim they are ‘still sober’ who have stopped drinking, but continued to use various narcotics outside of a qualifed doctor’s care. Qualification in Meetings Te intent of making members “qualify” in meetings (to identify as an alcoholic, or an addict, or other identifcations for other Programs) is to provide a common focus. We form a fellowship of people attending the meeting, particularly in a “closed” meeting, who share the same alcoholic reality – that no newcomer leaves their frst meeting hearing about the well-established or most recent trends in drug abuse and psychiatric problems, and then tells him or herself, “I do not belong in Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn’t use drugs like that. I didn’t do those things.” In the many other 12-Step fellowships, there is a similar ‘primary purpose’ of identifying one’s own qualifcation for belonging which provides clarity of those meetings. But qualifcation is an important part of the First Step by admitting that we are an alcoholic (or the qualifer for the other fellowship you are attending).

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admit [ad-mit] verb (used with object), admitted, admitting. 1. to allow to enter; grant or afford entrance to: to admit a student to college. 2. to give right or means of entrance to: Tis ticket admits two people. 3. to permit to exercise a certain function or privilege: admitted to the bar. 4. to allow or concede as valid: to admit the force of an argument. Synonym - receive. 6. own, avow. See “acknowledge.” In the beginning, newcomers are easily thrown off focus by outside issues, including drugs. Te alcoholic, who is also a drug addict or addicted to some other substance or behavior, needs to respect the AA Newcomer who does not have these other addictions. Teir story may include drugs, but in meetings we are supposed to share our struggle in Recovery rather than reinforce our wretched past. Te Tird Tradition does not require that a member identify himself or herself in any way; that identifcation is a local custom. In most areas, they identify themselves by name and some way of saying that they are alcoholic. In other areas, they simply say their name and omit any identifcation. Tis does not mean a member may not suffer additional problems, addressed by active participation in other fellowships – it is simply a clarifcation of their participation in that meeting’s singleness of purpose. After the end of World War II, when the Second Edition of our Big Book was prepared, the world had changed. Illegal drugs and the abuse of prescription drugs had fourished as never before in history. Designer drugs appeared to open new markets or escape existing laws. However, the intent remains the same, the compulsion remains the same, and (we hope) the dedication to the Twelve Steps and Recovery remains the same. Bill Wilson wrote several times that the real goal of AA was emotional sobriety, the ability to deal with life on life’s terms without mind altering drugs. It was his intent, as he reportedly said several times, to allow the alcoholic to attain a level of maturity and responsibility to permit them to function in the

– 56 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition world exactly as a non-alcoholic, healthy person. People would not need to consider their alcoholic past in their dealings. Te recovering alcoholic was to be held to the same standard as a non-alcoholic – through the Steps they would be elevated to common expectation of any healthy, functioning member of society. Te member who claims “sobriety,” but still indulges in drugs, crime, abusive behavior or who judges other people’s behavior is unclear of what we mean by “sobriety.” As always, a dictionary defnition is a good place to begin: so·bri·e·ty [suh-brahy-i-tee, soh-] –noun 1. the state or quality of being sober. 2. temperance or moderation, especially, (but not only) in the use of alcoholic beverages. 3. seriousness, gravity, or solemnity: an event marked by sobriety. If the problem “centers primarily in the alcoholics mind” and we have identifed “the” result of these Steps to be a Spiritual Awakening, then the repair of the problem and monitoring the result becomes our functioning defnition of “sober.” In each program, we celebrate the time free from the substance or behavior that got us into the door. When attending a closed AA meeting, we respect that door when asked to identify ourselves. We may qualify for membership in other 12-Step programs, but within AA, we are a recovering “alcoholic.” A list of other 12-Step programs, which may be needed in addition to AA, is provided at the end of this book.

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barefootsworld.net

What Does “Going to Any Lengths” Mean?

I have been asked this question again and again. I’ve also brought this subject up to just about every person I have ever worked with through the Steps. What follows is generally my response, taken from two sources. Te only thing that I would want to add to this is living the Oxford Group’s Four Absolutes of Honesty, Unselfshness, Purity, and Love (which can be found in their reverse negative form in the Big Book at the Fourth Step, Tenth Step, and Eleventh Step). – Barefoot Bob Te following Ten Points are a summary of the lifesaving directions given in the “How It Works” section of Chapter Five of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese ten points have always been a failsafe guide for people who want to practice the Twelve Steps and they are to be considered as part of your daily Program. – Completely give yourself to this simple Program. – Practice rigorous honesty. – Be willing to go to any lengths to recover. – Be fearless and thorough in your practice of the principles. – Realize that there is no easier, softer way. – Let go of your old ideas absolutely. – Recognize that half measures will not work. – Ask God’s protection and care with complete abandon. – Be willing to grow along spiritual lines. – Accept the following pertinent ideas as proved by AA experience: a) that you cannot manage your own life;

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b) that probably no human power can restore you to sanity; c) that God can and will if sought. Te following is taken from parts of Chapter One “Bill’s Story” in the Big Book: Page 8 (First Step) No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master. Page 12 (Second Step) My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" Tat statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would! Tus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view. PAGES 13–16 (Steps 3 through 12) Tere I humbly oﬀered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the frst time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my problems and defciencies. We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to right all such matters to the utmost of my ability.

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I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Ten only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure. My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and Humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self- centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all. While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. Tey in turn might work with others. My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my aﬀairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifce for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Ten faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to fnd a solution to their problems. It was fortunate, for my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and a half, during which I found little work. I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. Tis sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going.

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We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. Te joy of living we really have, even under pressure and diﬃculty. I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. Business and professional men have regained their standing. Tere is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families. We meet frequently so that newcomers may fnd the fellowship they seek. At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons. We are growing in numbers and power. Tere is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend's simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men. – Bill Wilson, 1954

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barefootsworld.net

Understanding Anonymity

AA Co-Founder - Dr. “Bob” Smith So many in Alcoholics Anonymous, both old-timers and newcomers alike, do not have an understanding of the 11th and 12th Traditions relating to Anonymity; the relationship of Anonymity to the Spiritual Ideals contained in the 12 Steps of AA; or the principles and ideals of Trust, Honesty, Hope, Faith, Courage, Integrity, Willingness, Humility, Brotherly Love, Justice, Perseverance, Spirituality, and Service to One Another. To the extent that my Sponsors explained it to me, and from what I have read from the history of AA, I will try to put this vital issue into some kind of proper perspective. Tese selections from AA literature clarify the 11th Tradition and its intent. In some sections of AA, anonymity is carried to the point of real absurdity. Members are on such a poor basis of communication that they don't even know each other's last names or where each lives. As Bill Sees It, page 241 Dr. Bob said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition:

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(1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can't be reached by other drunks. Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers Page 264 Te 11th Tradition states, in the short form, "Eleven – Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and flms." (And we might also add TV at this level for further restriction.) Te 12th Tradition states, in the short form, "Twelve – Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." (Even before my own personality.) Dr. Bob stated that within the group, every member should know the frst name, last name, address and phone number of all the members in the group. If these are not known, then we as a group are operating above the level of anonymity intended – We are not able to be of Service to One Another in time of need. Did you ever try to look up someone in the phone book without knowing their last name? Or did you ever go into a hospital or jail to try to visit or carry a meeting to a sick or incarcerated member, and stand there with your mouth hanging open, when asked, "What is their name?" “Sorry about that but we have our policies and procedures Sorry we can't help you." Let us see what the long form of the 11th and 12th Traditions say about understanding Anonymity and the Principles we ought to live by. 11. – Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A. A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, flmed or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. Tere is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us. 12. – And fnally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual signifcance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine

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Humility. Tis to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. Ahh yes. We are to be anonymous relative to the "General Public,” as members of Alcoholics Anonymous. We ought not be publicly identifed as members of Alcoholics Anonymous in the press, on the radio, or in flms, videos, and TV, or any media which is disseminated to the General Public. It is a Humility thing; we have no need to say "How great we are!" We think that in this respect the Humility of AA will attract more suffering alcoholics to the program than any amount of advertising or promotion. It is a matter of Trust. "Since our Tradition on anonymity designates the exact level where the line should be drawn, it must be obvious to everyone who can read and understand the English language that to maintain anonymity at any other level is defnitely a violation of this Tradition. Te AA who hides his identity from his fellow AA by using only a given name violates the Tradition just as much as the AA who permits his name to appear in the press in connection with matters pertaining to AA. "Te former is maintaining his anonymity ABOVE the level of press, radio, and flms, and the latter is maintaining his anonymity BELOW the level of press, radio, and flms - whereas the Tradition states that we should maintain our anonymity AT the level of press, radio, and flms." Dr. Bob's comment Our Egos are trying to get attention. We lose our Humility and spoil the great blessing we have been given. Te truth is that any one of us may fail to stay sober as a result of our Ego and failure to practice the steps in all our affairs. We should be ever mindful that no action we take as individual members should affect AA as a whole. Our very lives depend upon the survival of AA and our Unity. Without AA, all we have left is drunkenness and the slide into oblivion. Te principle of Trust is frst and foremost, the foundation of all spiritual principles and ideals. We should never break another member's anonymity to anyone outside the AA group. To do so would break Trust, and without Trust, all the other principles are Impossible. Has any alcoholic ever been able to be Honest, or practice any of the other principles and ideals, with something or someone he didn't trust? Of course not. We may break our own anonymity in the process of trying to help another, but we must never break the anonymity of another.

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Looking at the First Three Steps

If, when I honestly want to, can I quit entirely (because of the mental obsession), or if when drinking, do I have little control over the amount I take (because of the physical allergy)? If you’ve answered “no” to the frst part and “yes” to the second, you’re probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suﬀering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (page 30) Drunk or sober (suﬀering from “untreated alcoholism”), do I have trouble with personal relationships? Can I control my emotional natures? Am I a prey to misery and depression? Can I make a living (a happy and contented life)? Do I have a feeling of uselessness? Am I full of fear? Am I unhappy? Do I fnd that I can’t seem to be of real help to other people? (page 52) Do I fully concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic? (page 44) Second Step Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? (page 47) Do I have a conception of that Power which makes sense to me? (page 46)

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When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What is my choice to be? (page 53) Because so much of the Program revolves around your Spiritual Life, we have created a whole section devoted the the Question of Spirit. Third Step Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Tird Step Decision “Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.” Page 62 To affirm this decision, we say the Tird Step Prayer: “God, I offer myself to Tee—to build with me and to do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love, and Ty Way of life. May I do Ty will always!” Page 63 “Tird Step Prayer” from the Big Book is a suggestion. Some people with serious sobriety, serious clean time, may have presented it to you as a ritual. Te Prayer they present is not a magic do for you because you said the magic words. You must say the Prayer, but in your own words. Remember, in the following paragraph the book says: “Te wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. Tis was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.” Page 63 Now, with all of this said, we need to get to the meat of the Tird Step. As you may have heard “making a decision” means nothing until it is followed with the commitment to take actions.

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If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the words as written in the Big Book, if you do not use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal language, you can take the Prayer and restate it in your own words so that you can say a heartfelt Prayer of surrender and willingness to proceed with your Recovery. In the Tird Step we decided to turn our thoughts and actions over to the care of God. Te way we carry out that decision is by taking the actions of Steps 4 through 9. We found in Chapter 4, “We Agnostics,” that God dwells deep down within us. We’ve been blocked from God’s Power because of our own self- will – our character defects and shortcomings (i.e. selfshness, dishonesty, resentment, fear, guilt, shame, remorse, anger, etc.). Te frst step of getting us “unblocked” is Fourth Step: Made a searching and fearless moral Inventory of ourselves.

A COMPLETE GUIDE TO WORKING THE STEPS IS FOUND IN THE SECTION “STEPS AND TRADITIONS”, LATER IN THIS BOOK

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Recovery Reader, Second Edition

Spirituality

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps...” Twelfth Step

Te Spiritual Awakening is the only result of the Twelve Step program of Recovery. Te restoration of health, happiness, belonging, character, and material possessions are refections of our acceptance of this life-changing gift. Tis is the most personal aspect of Recovery. Each member of Recovery has a slightly diﬀerent personal way of describing it, living it, and sharing it, but they all refect “THE Result.” Tese articles are oﬀered to help achieve and sustain this personal experience and surrender to our Spiritual way of life. God As You Understand God

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Religion and Alcoholism

Every culture has had something to say about alcoholism. For Christians and Jews, it can be found in the Old Testament, Proverbs 23:29-35, they say: 29) Who hath woe? Who hath sorrow? Who hath contentions? Who hath babbling? Who hath wounds without cause? Who hath redness of eyes? 30) Tey that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. 31) Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. 32) At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. 33) Tine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things. 34) Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast. 35) Tey have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not; when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again. In Buddhism there are the Five Precepts by which you are supposed to live: • Avoid Killing, • Avoid Lying, • Avoid Stealing, • Avoid Sexual Misconduct, and • Avoid Intoxication Islam teaches that believers are to abstain from alcohol in all its forms. (Te word “alcohol” is from Arabic.) Te Native American/First Nations have borne the hardest hit from alcoholism from the very beginning. While Central and South American pre-

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Columbian civilizations had alcohol in various forms, the North American tribes did not have long term exposure to alcohol and its eﬀects. Te frst guides to Recovery in this country came with a spiritual way of life advocated by tribes in the early 18th Century. But even with this early start, one out of every six deaths on Reservations and one in every ten deaths in Native communities is attributed directly to alcohol or alcoholism4. Te earliest eﬀorts at a spiritual approach to freedom from alcoholism in the New World was in the early 17th Century through Native American abstinent societies. Native Americans from North America did not have exposure prior to it being brought by Europeans, and they had no defense against alcoholism. In 2008 Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 11.1% of deaths due to alcoholism in the Native American Community, versus 3.3% among the non-Native population. Indigenous people from South and Central America did brew and use alcohol and had some established ability to deal with alcohol when it was introduced from colonial forces, but they also have a disproportionate number of deaths and health issues related to alcohol. Te Twelve Step programs made a breakthrough from the Protestant Christian-only beginnings by adopting “God as you understand God.” Members with long term sobriety will tell you that they have seen the result of the Twelve Steps beneft anyone willing to make the surrender of Ego, which Recovery requires. Te results have been seen in many schools of Christianity (Catholic, Orthodox. Protestant, Evangelical, etc.), Jews, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists, Tribal members, Atheists and more. It even works for the most strident anti-theist, if that person is willing to make the surrender of Ego by following the directions given in the book. Many people report that all they needed to begin was the use of the fellowship as a “power greater than themself” and Good Orderly Direction (or the collective consciousness of the geshtalt in the Group of Drunks).

Tere is no reason the Program cannot work for you.

4 http://www.ibtimes.com/native-americans-tragedy-alcoholism-214046 – 70 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

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Stop Playing God

Sometimes at an AA meeting you will hear “Let something with the ability to do what you cannot do be your Higher Power.” In my case, I was told, “Tat tree out there can stand in one place for sixty years. You can’t do that. Make that tree your Higher Power.” I did not take well to that. “What the hell good will it do to have a tree as my Higher Power?” I asked, playing right into his hands. He grinned. He grinned that big, old, evil AA Sponsor grin and said, “Tat way we git the whole idea of a ‘Higher Power’ out of the hands of the asshole who has had it so far!” And then I realized he meant me! It was not their plan to have me make a tree, or a lightbulb, or a doorknob, my higher power. It was for me to give up the idea that “I” could be my own Higher Power. You may be tempted to make your signifcant other your Higher Power. Or your fnancial security may feel like your Higher Power. I was told I had to let go of the illusion I was a Higher Power. “But I never thought I was God,” the newcomer will protest. Really? Every time you decided how things should have been, or played the “If Only...” game to have things work out the way you wanted them to be, you were pushing God out in favor of your desire and judgement. “If only he hadn’t found out...” “If only she didn’t get pregnant...” “If only my parents had more money...”

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“If only that cop hadn’t been there...” Sound familiar? We had to give up playing God – it didn’t work. Prof. Ernie Kurtz wrote the frst signifcant work on AA History and called the book “Not God.” It was a simple statement of who they were in the beginning. Te ones who started Alcoholics Anonymous were “Not God.” We have to learn that we aren’t either.

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anonymousreview.org

Approaches to a Higher Power

Some people have a serious problem with religion or what has previously been presented to them as “God.” Tey stress that the newcomer must frst admit they cannot continue the way they have been going. Tey say that most of us have “Te Drunk’s Prayer,” regardless of whatever faith they might express. it is commonly repeated as: “God, I can’t live like this. Please help me.” Te key difference between AA and the other religious approaches to Recovery was that AA said the alcoholic, the addict and the people qualifying for other Twelve Step programs must frst get through the door and admit their need to change before they can be made to jump through the hoop of religion. Some people have been able to turn to religion and be given relief from their problem with alcohol or drugs. Some people have also turned to psychology and achieved a lifetime without alcohol. But these solutions have not worked for “alcoholics of our type.” Tere are several types of drinkers, but we who identify as alcoholic have a particular combination of enjoying the effect of the drink (or drug), we build up a resistance and require larger doses, we obssess on the next drink or dose. We become fearful when it looks as if our supply will be cut off. Fear, in fact, drives most of an alcoholic’s behavior and it is a matter of control for the alcoholic to cling to the belief that his or her answer to their problems will come from an act of self will, some untapped inner strength, or some new medical treatment. Te issue of spirituality, of God or religion might be good for other people, but almost all alcoholics convince themselves that it is not something they need. Spirituality is not based on dogma. It is a willingness to discover where they ft into the universe – to fnd the place where they belong, their “proper size.”

– 73 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te idea of Willing Submission, whether someone else agrees with their conception of a Higher Power or not, is a commont part of most religions. In Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Sikh and Buddhism, it is accepted that you must surrender your will to what each religion teaches is true. Te word “Islam” means “surrender.” Te structure of the Steps requires a progression of honesty and action. Honesty and Action First you must admit to having the problem that is trying to kill you. Tat is the beginning: Honesty, and it leads to the Drunk’s Prayer. Second you must change your thinking to accept that, no matter how far down you have gone, there is a ‘power’ that can restore you to a sane and useful life. A decision is neither honest or dishonest, but making the decision is Action. Taking an Inventory (Step Four) is an Action, but it requires the Honesty of Steps One, Two and Tree to achieve the ‘fearless and searching’ qualifcation to be Honest again. To share the Inventory, to expose the secrets, admit to the guilt, confess the wrongs, and take the risk of revealing those truths to another human being is a key Action. And it only works if you’re honest. Admitting that you have defects and shortcomings and identifying what they are is Honesty. Becoming willing to have them removed is an Action. It is an internal action, whether anyone sees it or not. Asking is an Action, but have you been Humble? If you are not Honestly Humble, you cannot expect the next actions to be meaningful. Being Humble requires that you accept that the response you receive by asking to have defects and shortcomings removed is not up to you. It is up to whatever Higher Power you accepted in the Second Step – or that has evolved since that bit of Honesty. Making the list of people you have harmed is more Honesty, and Action, which does not have any eﬀect if you are not Honest. Making Amends is more Action, but it must be an Honest desire that you want to repair, or make better, the damage you have done (the defnition of Amend) and that the willingness of others to accept your eﬀort is not up to you. Continuing to Practice Tese Principles is more Action, with the willingness to be Honest - every day, all day.

– 74 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Prayer and Meditation require Honesty to make the effort to express what you Honestly feel (Prayer) and to make the effort to get quiet and Meditate on the next change you make to keep what you have found (and maybe get a little better). Carrying the Message is Action, and if you try to carry something you haven’t got, you aren’t being Honest. When in doubt, get busy, get Honest and – if it is the right thing to do – take Action. Suggestions Tere is another suggestion. Completely unofficial, of course. Te person objecting to the “God” aspect begins their Prayer as: “God, in whom I do not know if I will ever believe...” and then says the Prayer. In the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the Serenity Prayer ends with "Ty will, not mine, be done.” Your defnition of “thy” is based on your personal conception of God, the Power Greater Tan Yourself. The Drunk’s Prayer Te Drunk’s Prayer is “God, I can’t live like this. Please help me.” G.O.D. It is sometimes suggested that a newcomer use the group as a Higher Power because the men and women in that group can do what the newcomer can’t: stay sober. Tey come to understand “God” as “Good Orderly Direction” or “Group of Drunks.” Doorknobs, Trees & Light Bulbs Some old-timers say the struggling newcomer should accept some inanimate object as their Higher Power. “Tat tree can stand in one spot for sixty years - you can’t do that. Make that tree your Higher Power...” Or a light bulb. Or a doorknob. Anything other than the alcoholic! Te idea is not to worship that item but to stop worshiping your own brain as the force that rules reality. As one old-timer said, “It gets your life out of the hands of the idiot who’s had it so far!”

– 75 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Prayers from the Big Book

“I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.” William D. Silkworth, MD - Page xxx “God is everything or He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What was our choice to be?” Page 53 “We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.” Page 59 Third Step God, I offer myself to Tee – to build with me and do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love and Ty Way of Life. May I do Ty will always! Page 63 Fourth Step

RESENTMENT We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person oﬀended we said to ourselves, “Tis is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Ty will be done.” Page 67

FEAR We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. Page 68

SEX We ask God to mold our ideals and help us live up to them. Page 69

– 76 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

In Meditation, we ask God what we do about each specifc matter. Page 69 To sum up about sex: We pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity and for strength to do the right thing. Page 70 Fifth Step We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Page 75 We ask if we have omitted anything. Page 75 Sixth Step If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. Page 76 Seventh Step My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen. Page 76 Eighth Step If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Page 76 Ninth Step

LEGAL MATTERS We ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences might be. Page 79

OTHERS AFFECTED If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help. Page 80

INFIDELITY Each might pray about it, having the other one’s happiness uppermost in mind. Page 82

FAMILY So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in Meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. Page 83

– 77 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Tenth Step Continue to watch for selfshness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. Page 84 Everyday is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities. “How can I best serve Tee – Ty will (not mine) be done.” Page 85 Eleventh Step

NIGHT After mediation on the day just completed, “We ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.” Page 86

MORNING Before we begin our day, “We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity... dishonest or self-seeking motives.” Page 86 In thinking about our day, “We ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision.” Page 87 After meditation, “We ask God to show us all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We especially ask for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no requests for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfsh ends.” Page 86

ALL DAY As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and “We ask for the right thought or action.” Page 87 - 88 Twelfth Step Ask Him in your morning Meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. Te answers will come IF your own house is in order. Page 164 Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the fring line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.

– 78 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Page 102 But Remember... Te wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. Page 63 When ready, we say something like this... Page 76 Prayers recited like magic incantations can have little eﬀect. We must pray from our heart, with all the honesty and willingness to mean exactly what we say.

It works, if we work it. We will die, if we don’t.

– 79 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

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Problems with Prayer

OVERCOMING THE INTELLECTUALIZATION OF PRAYER Many people arrive in AA with a bias against the custom of saying Prayers, or at least the Prayers common in the Program and Meetings. For the Christian Objection Many Christians take the injunction against memorized or dictated Prayers seriously. Tis is found in the New Testament in Mark 6:4 and 6:5 “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” When the groups perform the “Serenity Prayer,” “Te Lord’s Prayer,” or the “St. Francis Prayer,” many are simply showing the willingness to participate in the ritual of opening or closing a meeting. It is not Prayer – it is ritual and extends the comfort of a predictability to approach the serious work of Recovery. Tey do not know they are not praying, but many use this avenue to fnd their way to faith while confronting the pain and crisis created by alcoholism. Most meetings allow for personal Prayer in silence, but your participation is an act of willing submission to the process of Spiritual Awakening, which is the only result of the Twelfth Step and the eﬀect for which we work, regardless of your specifc beliefs of a Spiritual life.

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For the Non-Christian Objection Alcoholics began as part of a Christian organization, the Oxford Group. When asked to provide a “Christmas Message” for the Grapevine in 1953, Bill Wilson responded by saying: “Te more I thought it over the more I got buﬀaloed. I said, ’Gee, this society of ours has moved into every quarter of the Earth. Here a great many of us are Christians. A good many are not. We have Jews who look to Jehovah. Out on the plains we have Indians who look to the Great Spirit. And now that we have established beachheads in the Pacifc Islands, in Asia, in India, in South Africa... We know that we have brothers and sisters who look to Allah, and some to Buddha.’ “And I thought to myself, ’How can anybody possibly talk about Christmas to all these?’ “Ten came this thought, ’Well, by whatever name we call it, we of AA have Christmas every day. In the sense that we give and in the sense that we receive.’ “Yes. Te kind of giving that demands no reward. Te kind of loving that bears no price tag.” Bill Wilson, 1953 At his 18th Anniversary When AA separated from the Oxford Group, the invitation to Recovery took the form of a Higher Power, “a God of your understanding,” which can be the God of your own faith. Some people think the AA program is trying to convert everyone to a specifc religion. Religion is not the job of AA – faith is the job of the person in Recovery and is between them and their personal Higher Power. For the Non-Believer Objection Contrary to propaganda spread about Alcoholics Anonymous as a religious front, those who do not believe, or actively do not believe, are welcome and invited into the rooms. We would not be in AA if we had not already experienced enough of a change to know that our ideas had proved false and did not keep us sober. On page 52 of the Big Book, after outlining the various forms of suﬀering that our unmanageable lives had presented to us we asked:

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“Was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar fight? Of course it was.” Page 52 Many Christians object to the Prayers, as well, because their faith tells them to pray from the heart, not based on set, scripted Prayers. Prayers are a custom going back to the time of AA’s formation as part of the Oxford Group. To say the words of the Prayer is not praying, any more than saying the Pledge of Allegiance was pledging to the fag or the country. As a child, I was required to say the Pledge of Allegiance because that was the way my school day started. Tere are also many people for whom the Prayer and the Pledge are genuinely who they are or what they believe. For those of us who have long worshipped at the altar of the Human Brain, intellectual pride can be suﬃcient to keep us drunk. We have seen non-believers stay sober based on their personal knowledge that they are not the greatest power of the Universe, particularly when they had spent so much of their lives acting as if they were. Saying the Prayer is not intellectual hypocrisy, it is the concession that staying sober is more important than intellectual pride; that fnding the new life is more important than “being right.” Tose who do not have a faith, or are very actively against the very concept of any religion, may have a more diﬃcult job attaining and sustaining long-term Sobriety. Our Egos may push us to stop drinking for months, or even years, but we can be guaranteed that life will provide some punches that will require more than our solitary mental prowess can muster. Many people that come to AA use the rooms (the body of people who stay sober) as their Power Greater than Temselves. Tey could do together what they failed to do alone and they were a visible resource for those who could not, or would not, concede the core of “spiritual.” Turning back to our favorite reference, dictionary.com, we fnd several entries for “spiritual:” spir·it·u·al [spir-i-choo-uhl] – adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; incorporeal.

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2. of or pertaining to the spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature: a spiritual approach to life. 3. closely akin in interests, attitude, outlook, etc.: the professor's spiritual heir in linguistics. 4. of or pertaining to spirits or to spiritualists; supernatural or spiritualistic. 5. characterized by or suggesting predominance of the spirit; ethereal or delicately refned: She is more of a spiritual type than her rowdy brother. 6. of or pertaining to the spirit as the seat of the moral or religious nature. 7. of or pertaining to sacred things or matters; religious; devotional; sacred. 8. of or belonging to the church; ecclesiastical: lords spiritual and temporal. 9. of or relating to the mind or intellect. –noun 10. a spiritual or religious song: authentic folk spirituals. 11. spirituals, aﬀairs of the church. 12. a spiritual thing or matter. For our purpose, many meanings of the word can apply, but it is the frst defnition that we feel best serves the understanding of “spirit” as presented through the Program. “1. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; incorporeal.” A feature of AA Recovery that has proved to be a serious obstacle for intellectuals in the Program has been the necessary concession that there are things in our life that are not subject to discussion under the laws of physics and our understanding of the material world. We fnd a level of coincidence far beyond statistical norms, which guide us to the next correction phase of our life and Recovery that becomes increasingly diﬃcult to accept as random chance.

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We fnd that when we do the Program the way the Program says to do it, we fnd periods of unexplained comfort, serenity, and sometimes happiness. Areas that used to be a problem, which left us feeling lost or hopeless, are slowly made clear and we can move forward, even when we do not fully understand the reason for the change. Problems that once blocked us are solved, set aside or accepted. Over time, we realize our ability to understand our own reality is limited. Te human brain cannot adequately classify or reduce reality to understandable terms. Religious people have a way that works for them, regardless of our judgment of their beliefs. For them, “God did it.” is a perfectly acceptable answer. Perhaps we can end the intellectual war by simply admitting “it happened” and remain open to learning, experiencing, and possibly, understanding more as time goes on. Tere is a limit to understanding as it affects the real world. If you fall off a high building, understanding gravity does not change the rate at which you fall. Many things simply are. Tey exist and can have effects on our lives, emotions, and our place in the world, without supplying an answer for our ever- questioning brain. Intellectual alcoholics love to judge things as “good” or “bad,” but in Recovery we are bombarded with realities that defy our judgment – so we are faced with a dilemma. Do we accept a reality we cannot understand, which gives us health, joy, and belonging, or do we insist on rejecting the reality of Recovery to the small part we can classify, thus remaining isolated, risking Recovery in favor of an imagined superiority? When you stand in the room and say the words to the Prayer, or simply stand with the other people in the group as they say the Prayer, you are really in a room of AA, really with people who have shared the pain of your experience and who are willing to share their Recovery with you. Why fght? “First, Alcoholics Anonymous does not demand that you believe anything. All of its Twelve Steps are but suggestions. Second, to get sober and to stay sober, you don't have to swallow all of Step Two right now. Looking back, I fnd that I took it piecemeal myself. Tird, all you really need is a truly open mind.

– 84 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Just resign from the debating society and quit bothering yourself with such deep questions as whether it was the hen or the egg that came frst. Again I say, all you need is the open mind.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Page 26

– 85 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

University of Orleans

The Peace Prayer of St. Francis

BY DR. CHRISTIAN RENOUX ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR, UNIVERSITY OF ORLEANS, FRANCE Te preceding translations were drawn from over 20 sources of the Aramaic Prayer found through internet searches, some of them of more academic repute than others. By reading several diﬀerent versions of a translation, you can get an idea of the real meaning within the original document and choose the version most resonant with your understanding.

Original Text of the Peace Prayer

– 86 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition car c'est en donnant qu'on reçoit, c'est en s'oubliant qu'on trouve, c'est en pardonnant qu'on est pardonné, c'est en mourant qu'on ressuscite à l'éternelle vie. Source: La Clochette, n° 12, déc. 1912, p. 285.

The English version Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; And where there is sadness, joy.

– 87 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Origin of This Prayer Te frst appearance of the Peace Prayer occurred in France in 1912 in a small spiritual magazine called La Clochette (Te Little Bell). It was published in Paris by a Catholic association known as La Ligue de la Sainte-Messe (Te Holy Mass League), founded in 1901 by a French priest, Father Esther Bouquerel (1855-1923). Te Prayer bore the title of 'Belle prière à faire pendant la messe' (A Beautiful Prayer to Say During the Mass), and was published anonymously. Te author could possibly have been Father Bouquerel himself, but the identity of the author remains a mystery. Te Prayer was sent in French to Pope Benedict XV in 1915 by the French Marquis Stanislas de La Rochethulon. Tis was soon followed by its 1916 appearance, in Italian, in L'Osservatore Romano [the Vatican's daily newspaper]. Around 1920, the Prayer was printed by a French Franciscan priest on the back of an image of St. Francis with the title 'Prière pour la paix' (Prayer for Peace) but without being attributed to the Saint. Between the two world wars, the Prayer circulated in Europe and was translated into English. It was attributed for the frst time to Saint Francis in 1927 by a French Protestant Movement, Les Chevaliers du Prince de la Paix (Te Knights of the Prince of Peace), founded by Étienne Bach (1892-1986). Te frst translation in English that we know of appeared in 1936 in Living Courageously, a book by Kirby Page (1890-1957), a Disciple of Christ minister, pacifst, social evangelist, writer, and editor of Te World Tomorrow (New York City). Page clearly attributed the text to St. Francis of Assisi. During World War II and immediately after, this Prayer for peace began circulating widely as the Prayer of St. Francis, especially through Francis Cardinal Spellman's books, and over the years has gained a worldwide popularity with people of all faiths. For more information, see the book by Dr. Christian Renoux, La prière pour la paix attribuée à saint François: une énigme à résoudre, Paris, Editions franciscaines, 2001, 210 p.: 12.81 euros + shipping (ISBN: 2-85020-096-4). – Order From: Éditions franciscaines, 9, rue Marie-Rose F-75014 Paris.

Note: Dr. Christian Renoux, is continuing his research on the propagation of this Prayer, and is looking for new information about its publication in English between 1925 and 1945, and in all other languages between 1912 and today. Our thanks to Dr. Renoux for his permission to publish the Original Text of this very popular Prayer and the history of its origin.

– 88 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

anonymousreview.org

The Lord’s Prayer An Interpretation from the Aramaic

Although we know the Prayer was written in Greek (a trader’s dialect called “Kohlne”), the words were frst spoken in the era’s native language of Aramaic. Aramaic has its own structure, grammar, and cultural references; there are no words for colors, but comparisons to things of that color. Tere is no word for daily; the two syllable word for God-the-Father is a source of intense debate as to the complexity of the meaning. Over twenty translations can be found on the web. In Aramaic, ideas can merge or interact with the words before or after to deepen the meaning. Tis also means you can argue diﬀerent interpretations according to the meaning of the word you are using. Tis author is not a Christian. When asked why I say the Lord’s Prayer at the end of the meeting, it is because of what the Prayer says!

– 89 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

TRANSLATION KEY In Parentheses – (King James Standard) Italic Bold – Aramaic • Bulleted – Translation(s) directly from Aramaic (Our Father) Ahwûn • My Source/Creator • O cosmic Birther, from whom the breath of life comes • Radiance that Saturates the universe (Who art in Heaven) D’bwaschmâja • Tat flls/saturates the universe, above and below • Tat who flls all realms of sound, light, and vibration • Tat who is all of substance and vibration (Hallowed be Ty Name) Nethkâdasch schmachv • Your name is already sacred • May Your Light / Truth be experienced in my utmost holiest • allow me to see / know / believe (Ty Kingdom Come) Têtê malkuthach • Your Heavenly Domain approaches • Your Justice approaches • Your Will is already being done in Heaven (Ty Will be done on Earth as it is In Heaven) Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d’bwaschmâja af b’arha • Let your Will be true on earth (that is material and dense) just as it is in the universe (all that vibrates)

– 90 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

• Your Will is already being done within the Earth as it is already being done in the heavens (Give us this day Our Daily Bread5) Hawvlân lachma. d’sûnkanân yaomâna • Give us wisdom (understanding, assistance) according to our need • Sustain/Nourish me (And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors) Waschboklân chaubên wachtahên aikâna daf chnân schwoken l’chaijabên • Forgive me and my wrongs to the extent I am able to give forgiveness to others. (And Lead us Not into Temptation) Wela tachlân l’nesjuna • Let us not be lost in superfcial things (materialism, common temptations) • Free me from desire or free me from lies/illusion • Please do not put me to the test • Detach the fetters of faults that bind us, just as we let go the guilt we hold of others • Allow me the same forgiveness to others as you are already showing to me (But deliver us from Evil) Ela patzân min bischa • But let us be freed from that which keeps us oﬀ from our true purpose • Be my direction / purpose

5 There is no reference of time in Aramaic, so daily is not a concept - it is always “today.” – 91 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

(For Tine is the kingdom and the power) Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila wateschbuchta • From You comes the all-working will, the vital strength to act • You are the source of the song that is life (and the Glory Forever and Ever) L’ahlâm almîn • Sealed in trust, faith and truth • I confrm with my entire being • As you are truly the only God and deserving of all my worship (Amen) Amêin Te word Amen (Tiberian Hebrew “Amein” pronounced ah-MAIN, Arabic “Amin” pronounced AH-men) translates as “So may it be” or “Truly” and is a declaration of aﬃrmation found in the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and the Qur’an. It also has come to mean “As it is,” “Verily,” “I agree,” “Let it be,” or “Well said.” It was used by the Jewish congregation to aﬃrm the words said by the leader of the worship. It was later adopted by the Christians from the Jews as the concluding formula for a Prayer. In Islam it is the standard ending of recitation of sutras (chapters or divisions).

Te preceding translations were drawn from over 20 sources of the Aramaic Prayer found through internet searches, some of them of more academic repute than others. By reading several diﬀerent versions of a translation, you can get an idea of the real meaning within the original document and choose the version most resonant with your understanding.

– 92 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Popular Lore in Meetings

Three & Seven: The Full Prayer?

Tere is no “Amen” at the end of the Prayer in the Tird Step. Te Prayer in the Seventh Step picks up exactly where the frst Prayer leaves off. Between the “two Prayers” we do our Fourth and Fifth steps in order to break the cycle of secrecy and self-hate that has run our lives to the point where we have placed an appropriate focus on ourselves and the personal defects we must surrender in order to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. As always, the Prayers are suggested and it is often more effective to re-word the Prayer into your own words, but if all you can do is say the words on paper, try to mean them with your heart. Prayer of Steps 3 and 7 (3) God, I offer myself to Tee - to build with me and do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love and Ty Way of Life. May I do Ty will always! (7) My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen But over the years people have raised questions. Were they intended to be a single Prayer? Probably not. Te frst half (the part from the Tird Step Prayer) is written in Middle English, while the last half

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(from the Seventh Step Prayer) is written in Modern English. Te diﬀerence is immediately noticable. Again, the wording of both Prayers are a matter of personal choice and expression. If you have a problem, consider the intent of the Prayer(s) and say them in the way that will have meaning to you.

– 94 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

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Believer, Seeker, Agnostic, Atheist, Anti-Theist

WHO’S WHO AND WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE Language evolves. Over time, a word will gain a meaning in popular use long before it is adopted by academics. Several words in common use around AA create a good deal of confusion. Tis article defnes the four most common words related to individual spiritual outlooks and proposes a new word to oﬀer some clarity to the discussion. When someone who does not hold a belief attempts to explain the belief, the result is fltered through the speaker’s own belief system. A Believer defning an Agnostic is much the same as a banker explaining communism. Someone who does not understand a position will re-defne it to suit his or her own purposes, and most often to make the other side look foolish or wrong. Te purpose of this article is to introduce new positions in the area of personal belief. Atheists and Agnostics have too often been described by Believers, and are sometimes perceived as arrogant and condescending. Believers have been described by Anti-Teists, which could be called the arrogant describing the blind. All assert that their own positions are what should be true for others. Tis mistake ignores the fact that the very personal failures that brought us into Recovery, and most of our other failures as well, have been the result of our brain and its judgments. We are tempted to re-defne others within our own terms and then respond to what is actually our own internal creation - instead of simply dealing with the other person where he or she is. Our growth is dependent on a belief in “a power greater than ourselves.” Tis belief evolved in 12-Step groups beyond the initial religious limitations of the Protestant and primarily male Christian group where it began. When the focus was changed from the Christian God to “a Higher Power,” it became possible for newcomers to address their immediate challenge – alcoholism, drugs, behaviors,

– 95 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition etc. – without having to jump through the hoop created by the belief of those with longer Recovery that “You must start where I have arrived after much work.” It made it possible for newcomers without a religious background to partake of the blessings of Recovery without any additional requirements imposed by religious dogma. Recovery is often not a return to a previous state, but delivery to a completely new experience of being part of a greater reality, a larger community, and the embrace of a non-physical reality we all share. When I speak of “non-physical” reality, it is an attempt to frame all fve of these positions within the context of emotion, compassion, and the expression of our highest natures. Love is irrational, but love is experienced. Te compassion and impulse of an individual to charge into a burning building to save a stranger at the risk of his or her own survival, is irrational. To some extent, the willingness to sacrifce for our own children actually works against personal beneft and sometimes our very survival. But all of these are real, despite the lack of rational motive. Te “Higher Power” is open to personal interpretation. Believers tend to pre-determine that it must mean a deity or separate intelligence and defne all other views from that viewpoint. Agnostics tend to pre-determine that any teachings or discussion can only arrive at the point where the mystery outweighs the beliefs of the teaching. Te Atheist maintains that it can all be accepted without a defned intelligence above the human level and that any human attempt to describe that reality must fail to provide a complete comprehension. Te most strident Anti-theist would be hard-pressed to argue that they are greater than a hurricane or a wild fre, but hold that all actions and processes must be subject to rational analysis. Te seeker keeps looking for the answers and may or may not arrive at one of the other positions. Each is ultimately doomed to frustration when they have not made someone else conform to their own position within the continuum of faith. Believer Tis word is commonly understood to mean anyone who subscribes to a set of beliefs. Tis can involve any of the world’s religions or a newly-devised faith. Te key is the commitment of the individual to a defned belief system and its attendant rituals, doctrines, and practices.

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At the core of the Believer is a conviction in a defned deity or God (by whatever name) and the traditions, scripture, and practices of a specifc religion. People involved in a formal religious life – Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc. – are classifed as Believers. Seeker A Seeker is someone who has not yet settled on a specifc set of beliefs, but who does have faith that there is a belief appropriate for them. Seekers tend to try a variety of existing beliefs and conduct research to locate a system in which they can believe. Such beliefs may not be part of a specifc or recognized religion, faith, holy text, or doctrine. It can be a personal mix of beliefs that are expanded or reduced as the Seeker sees ft. Many Seekers continue to search for new ideas after they appear to have settled on a given set of beliefs, and some even cycle continuously from one belief system to another. Agnostic Te word ‘agnostic’ creates confusion because it is usually defned by someone other than the Agnostic himself. Te defnition that commonly arises in such cases comes from “gnosis” (NOS-iss) which means “knowledge.” In the Greek language, the prefx a- before a word adds the meaning “without.” “Agnostic” (AG-noss-tick) thus means “without knowledge.” Most Agnostics will tell you that they believe the reality of a “God”, of whatever defnition, is beyond the intellectual ability of the human mind to comprehend. However, sayings like “any God small enough for me to understand is not big enough to do the job” or “I cannot hold the ocean of God in my teacup of a brain” are used to explain their thoughts. It does not matter how other people defne God, it will be God as you understand God. Agnostics function based on ethics, codes, behaviors, practices, and customs that do not involve a deity while also not necessarily ruling out the existence of one.

– 97 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Atheist Te word “atheist” is derived from the Greek word “theos,” meaning “deity” or “God,” and serving as the foundation of words like “theology” (the study of religion). “Atheist” therefore means “without a deity” or “without God.” Technically, an Atheist believes there is no deity to be worshiped. Most scientists or people who believe in science’s explanations would qualify as atheistic, although many hold sets of beliefs (are Believers) without seeing conficts between religious doctrine and scientifc theory. Te Buddhist religion can be considered both agnostic and atheistic; it is not a religion in the Believer’s sense discussed earlier. It is more an ‘approach’ or philosophy to a spiritual life. You can fnd devout members of several formal religions who also maintain various Buddhist practices, such as Buddhist and Christian, Buddhist and Shinto, Buddhist and Confucian. People can subscribe to a set of practices, morals, and beliefs - with or without a supreme deity - according to their personal practice. More confusion can be created because Buddhism is very fexible and does not disbelieve other faiths - – Buddhism has retained local belief systems (demons, Goddesses, etc.) while adapting to new cultures which causes outside observers to think that Buddhists in Europe or North America hold the same belief in these deities held by Buddhists in Nepal or Southeast Asia. Tis is not necessarily the case. Anti-Theist Tis is not a recognized word and is being proposed to defne an observable set of beliefs. With the Greek base “theos” and the prefx “anti-” meaning “against” or “in opposition to,” this new word is intended to mean a belief that not only maintains there is no deity or God, but actively opposes or works against the belief in such a deity by others. Anti-theism is sometimes referred to as “Militant Atheism” in the press and has become the most publicly known face of Atheists, particularly the branch known as the “New Atheists.” Anti-theists often adopt the same intolerant attitudes as militant Believers, seeking to change the personal beliefs of others to conform to what they believe.

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Anti-theist, as a word, is proposed to separate the personal non-deity belief system from the more strident approach of controlling the personal beliefs of others. Even the most virulent Anti-theist can proceed in Recovery by simply admitting to the rational fact that there are forces greater than himself or herself. Tey do not walk out during the hurricane to tell it to stop; they do not run under the falling tree to prove they are more powerful. Rational thought can place them in their proper place in natural existence, even without acknowledging any sort of supernatural “intelligence.” Our False God Te real purpose of this essay is to open up the concept of Willing Submission – to remove our brain as the object of worship. People take thoughts emerging from their own brains as divine revelation, regardless of the amount of evidence of the failure of that brain to come up with a simple plan for successful daily living. People express their belief in the brain with daily language and attitudes related to their own or someone else’s intelligence. “He’s so smart....;” “She’s a genius...;” or “Tey’re dumber than a bag of hammers...;” are some examples. All are said with a level of emotional attachment to the value of a “good brain” or the defcit of a “small brain.” Tis use of language reveals a new idea in our new idea of a ‘Higher Power’ - the magnifcent Human Mind. Many of those possessing the greatest brains have been unable to live successfully, whether they turned to the problem of alcohol, addictive substances, or behavior. Many intelligent people that enter Recovery will ‘think’ their way back into the saloons and behaviors that defeated them. And fail. Many newcomers less intellectually inclined, or “stupid” people, have simply done what the steps and the Big Book say, end their relationship with their addiction, and begin to live functional, reasonably happy lives. Which confuses the over-intelligent. You may have heard an old AA saying:

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Tere is no one too stupid to ‘get’ the AA program, but there are a lot of people way too smart. Willing Submission Te concept of Willing Submission is common to all of the major faiths. You submit to the Deity, the doctrine, the teachings, the morals, or other defnition of how a person should live in their daily life. Te word “Islam” translates as “the Surrender.” Buddhism requires a surrender of the Ego to end suffering. Christianity teaches Willing Submission and obedience to the manifestations of authority inherent to that particular belief system – the church, Bible, pastor, teacher, husband, etc. Willing Submission creates the possibility of living without giving in to lusts, cravings, desires, delusions and distortions. No one performs perfect submission, but the effort to attain that state provides a foundation for better, more responsible behavior. Daily effort is required to guard against the subtle rise of the once conquered Ego A Believer or Agnostic may follow the required submission to the code of behaviors dictated by their faith, seeing them as Divine Law or requirements of the faith. An Atheist or Anti-theist may admit they live under the “Laws of Nature” or the “Laws of Physics” and it will be sufficient to move them forward in Recovery – or they may have to admit that the idea of ‘Ego defation’ works where great thoughts had failed.

Determine the defnition of your own spirituality, your relationship to the non- physical realities of love, emotion, and compassion. Follow the dictates of the moral code to which you subscribe, whether you feel they are divinely commanded or rationally extracted. Take the time to express your truth – your fear or appreciation or desire for direction – and it will not matter if you call it “Prayer” or “Deep Tought.” Sit quietly and experience calm and it does not matter if you call it “Meditation” or “Contemplation.” It need matter only to you, and you can allow others to wrestle with the question of where they ft in the continium of spiritual reality. Each must accept that their own mighty brain is not the object of worship, but that the reality of the world as an expression of God’s Creation or Natural Forces is greater than their limited brain will ever fully comprehend.

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hindsfoot.org

Atheism, Moral Psychology, and the Deus Non Vocatus in Early Alcoholics Anonymous

William E. Swegan (Sgt. Bill), in Te Psychology of Alcoholism, Chapter 18, “Recovery through the Twelve Steps,” explains how some early AA’s (like himself in the 1940s and 50s) successfully worked the steps from the standpoint of a truly dedicated ethical humanism. Second Step. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Bill Swegan’s Higher Power here is the laws of nature, the healing forces within nature which can return our minds to sanity and reason, and the very rationalistic idea of the power of truth and honesty which gives us the power of understanding other people with more compassion for their diﬀering points of view. “I cannot fght universal laws and principles and succeed. Te basis of these principles is all-powerful, and everything in the universe is subject to them. Some who come into the twelve step program object that if something cannot be touched or felt, it cannot exist. Te law of gravity also cannot be touched or felt. But no human being can throw a baseball up into the air so hard that it will foat up there in the air and never come spinning back down. As a baseball player, I had to learn how to throw a baseball with the right velocity to make it come

6 Copyright by Author, Glenn F. Chestnut, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission. – 101 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition down at the right place and the right level, and this required learning to work with the Law of Gravity instead of thinking I could just ignore that rule of nature. We are surrounded by powers and forces greater than ourselves at all times.” Te power we are searching for here cannot be touched or felt directly, but it is a Healing Power which is capable of restoring our sanity, which we can see at work in the lives of those who have already been working the twelve step program. It is the power of truth and honesty itself, but it is also the power of compassion and understanding. If this step is carried out properly, those who work it frst begin to incorporate within their internal makeup the positive feeling that they are not alone any more. Fear then begins to subside. Third Step. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” “We must notice the phrase ‘as we understood Him,’ which means that if traditional religious language makes no sense to me, I am free to think of this Healing Power of truth, honesty, compassion, and personal transformation in ways that do make sense to me. Even now, well over fifty years after I first got sober, I do not feel comfortable with heavily religious language, because I still do not understand it (even though I gladly allow those in the program who do understand it to talk about their Higher Power in that way).”

You will notice that when I frst came into the A.A. program, my own spirituality centered around the spirit of helping and caring for others and saving human lives, which I used to replace my old spirit of egocentrism, anger, and selfshness. Tat simple decision (another key word which appears in this step) allowed me to get sober and stay sober, and begin living harmoniously with the universal principles of nature.” Fifth Step. “Admitted to God, to ourselves , and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

In his discussion of this step, Bill Swegan completely omits any reference to God, and it is also not described by him as a “confession” in the more religious

– 102 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition sense of that word. Instead, his principal emphasis is upon restoring positive communications with other members of our families, especially when we are feeling extremely guilty about the harm we did to them while we were drinking. “It is an arduous task indeed to establish positive communications with another person when I have in fact been feeling guilty about the harm I caused that other person. But defective communications cause continual frustrations, and are the source of continuing conficts, particularly in the immediate family. It is traumatic for alcoholics to talk over some of the events in which they have been involved with their own families. Some alcoholics seek a ‘geographical cure’ by walking out and feeing from their families, rather than attempting a positive resolution of the diﬀerences which exist in their homes. Te hurt done by feeing becomes more acute, the closer the ties are in the family.” Sixth Step. “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” On the surface, Bill Swegan sounds more religious here than in his discussion of any of the other steps, but we need to remember that when he speaks of “coming to terms with the power of God, as we understand Him,” he means the laws of nature, the healing forces of nature, and the very rationalistic idea of the power of truth and honesty to restore our minds to sanity and reason. Seventh Step. “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” In Bill Swegan’s discussion here, he does not talk about asking God for anything. What he does do is recommend that we practice Humility, which he describes in rationalistic terms as “the willingness to learn.” Eleventh Step. “Sought through Prayer and Meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” Te key phrase here is Bill’s statement that “It seems easier for alcoholics and addicts to fght God than to fght their illness.”

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His central message here is that we need to quit fussing about religion all the time, and start working on fxing what is wrong with our alcoholic minds, which is what is causing us all our real troubles. Bill’s Higher Power here is not a personal God fgure, but a set of “spiritual concepts,” that is (for him at any rate) the laws of nature, the principles of reason, and so on. We need to meditate and think about the importance of learning to trust that there are logical solutions to all of our truly important problems. But even more important, “faith and trust in oneself is...essential to progress in the program.” As an alcoholic, I have all too often come to believe that my life is doomed, that I will never fnd happiness or any kind of a good life, and that it is pointless to try to act logically and responsibly because “the world is against me” or “God is against me” -- when the REAL PROBLEM is that I have lost faith and trust in myself. All too many alcoholics feel “programmed for failure,” and plagued by continual self-sabotage, where every time they come to the brink of success, they are driven by some sick need to destroy everything. So one of the most important keys to Recovery for most alcoholics is to give them hope and restore their self-confdence. For Bill, effective daily meditation needs to include things like self-affirmations and continual re-affirmations that it is all right for me to be successful and to feel good about myself. Conclusion Nothing in all of this is incompatible with belief in a loving personal God who always takes care of me and will never let me or my family come to any hurt or harm, and Bill Swegan never attacks people who want to believe that. But he does insist that I do not have to believe that in order to work the program successfully, get sober, and fnd true serenity and a good life. When his mother died when he was a small child, when the bombs were dropping on him and his best friends at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and at a number of other times in his life, Bill Swegan did not believe that it was rational or realistic to believe in a supernatural power who would guarantee that he and his loved ones would never die or be injured. He had learned better than that, frst hand. And Bill’s private observation to me was that people who claim to believe in a personal God and talk about that all the time but who refuse to do a real Fourth Step or do the other things he is talking about here, never in fact end up

– 104 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition feeling good or achieving any real serenity. Tey seem to spend all of their time obsessed with fear and resentment, and attacking other people and attempting to start needless quarrels with everyone around them.

– 105 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

sponsormagazine.info

Alternatives to “God”

Individual members may have issues with any of the religious origins and customs within Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese may be because their pride turns any such discussion into an intellectual exercise, or an argument the newcomer can manipulate. Tey may come from a neurotic need to defy all authority and authority fgures, real or imagined. Tese issues with religious origins or customs may be because of previous experiences with individuals or groups who have used the traditional meanings to gain their own means, do damage or simply use a religious guise for some personal abuse. The Group Itself Many newcomers who have such problems may be relieved that such objections were easily overcome by those who came before by turning God into an acronym. It has meant “Good Orderly Direction” for some. For others it was the “Group of Drunks” - the members in AA who had stayed sober when the newcomer could not. Tis substitution is mentioned on Page 107 of the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. “God” Like “Mother” Some people have suggested that other people’s idea of God is none of our business. Even if we use the same word, we may not mean exactly the same thing. Tey suggest we use the word “God” the same way we use the word “Mother.” Everyone has their own idea of who the word “Mother” represents. For many it means the woman who gave birth, but for a growing number it means the woman who played the same role as the woman who gave birth would have traditionlly flled. It may be a grandmother, or an aunt, or an adoptive mother, or simply someone who was in your life to serve the function.

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Similarly, when we say “Mother” we have a face that comes to mind and most other people have a diﬀerent face than the one we see. Brothers and sisters may see the same face, but even they may see the face a little diﬀerently. If our own mother-fgure was a fawed human being, we need to be able to see that Mother-we-wanted or -needed whenever we hear the word. Te “God as we understand God” needs to be just that personal.

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Meditation for Beginners

Tere are only Two ways to fail. To not complete, or To not begin. -- Buddhist saying Tis is not an oﬃcial or authorized document. It is a refection on the various ways to practice developing a quiet mind for spiritual growth and inner peace. Meditation is not something you do. Meditation is the things you do not do. Meditation is not magic. Meditation is tuning into yourself like a radio where the radio no longer picks up the desired station. Meditation is not scientifc. Meditation is fnding an inner calm and spiritual guidance. Tere is no oﬃcial form of Meditation. Some Meditation practices are complex and based on a single, approved form of spirituality. Beginners’ Meditations must be simple. Religions and beliefs have a tradition of Meditation as part of its practice. Catholics have the rosary. Protestants have group prayers and weekly schedules. Monks and nuns of all faiths have beads and chants. Hindus have the centering techniques of Yoga. Moslems have the trance dancing dervishes.

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Native Americans have traditions of vision quests and spending time in quiet contemplation. Atheists have their personal routines or areas of thought. Tey all work. Find the style and method that works best for you. Do Not Try to Find God While Meditating. Tink of being young and going to a store. It may be the grocery store with your mother, an aunt, or some other grown-up. It may have been to a department store, the fair, a school event, or a festival. If you get separated from the adult, the worst thing you can do is to go looking for them. You might miss each other if both of you are moving. Sit still and wait for them to fnd you. And they will fnd you. While you are waiting, you can be calm and secure in the knowledge that they are searching for you and you are making yourself fndable. You are lost – not God, no matter how you understand God. If you become still and stay right here, right now, you give yourself the chance to be found. You make yourself "fndable." And you can fnd peace, no matter what is going on in your life. Ways to Meditate Meditation requires a dedicated time spent with your chosen practice and repetition. A simple timer can set limits on the time spent meditating – a watch alarm, a kitchen timer, etc. You can meditate alone or with others – both ways have value. Meditation can be doing nothing or doing something. Meditation can be made more meaningful by contemplation of an image, or a verse, or a saying; or by sitting looking inward at a memory of such an idea. Meditation can be an eﬀortless stepping away from stress and worry. Meditation can be found in a favorite incense, the fragrance a certain fower, or appreciating the aroma of your favorite cup of coﬀee. Or you may surrender the idea of having a ‘favorite’ odor and simply accept where you are and how it is right now.

– 109 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Meditation can be listening to a particular type of music, or singing. It can be people nearby talking or what you might think of as silent. Meditation can be watching a favorite image, scene, or the abstract movement in a stream of water, or people walking by, or clouds, or the motion in a lava lamp. Meditation can be performing a task; gardening, knitting, dancing, drawing, working a potter’s wheel, building a wall, cooking, running, or riding a bicycle. You can meditate being still or moving. Some people meditate best sitting in a natural setting with no agenda; others fnd a strict liturgy leads to mental and emotional liberation. Some meditate better by walking a familiar path, or a path on which they have never been. None of these are required, but you can choose parts of any of them to improve your personal Meditation. Many people have been meditating for years and not even known it. Tey have something they do that provides repetition and makes them comfortable exactly where they are, doing what they are doing. Tey often look forward to it, not understanding why it gives them such a sense of peace. You will discover the form that gives you the best calm. Begin with a few suggestions, and even when you fnd your favorite way to meditate, try other ways as well. You can always discover a new answer that does not make the old answer wrong, but enriches you by giving you more than one channel. A Simple Beginning Tere is no required decoration, device, furniture, or approved chant for Meditation – but someone you know may have a suggestion from their own experience. Find a spot to be comfortable, or at least more comfortable than you are normally. At times, this may not be completely comfortable, particularly in the beginning. Someone may suggest a position, a posture, or something else they use for their own Meditation. Determine a way to limit your beginning Meditation – a timer, a specifc length of music, or other indicator. Later, you may want to sit and meditate for as long as you feel focused and relaxed.

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You may start in a quiet setting; a room, a spot outdoors where you will not be disturbed, or even sitting in a car. Later, you will be able to meditate anywhere, regardless of noise or distraction. You may start with a familiar movement; walking, running, gardening, knitting, cooking, singing, reading, or whatever gives you the most quiet. Don't expect anything. If you do expect something, don't criticize yourself or try to make yourself wrong for having the expectation. Simply notice it and understand you are trying something new and may have no experience in how to 'not expect.' You aren't meditating to criticize yourself. You can sit, or begin the motion as you feel most comfortable. In the beginning, it is usually suggested that you not lay down to relax. You could easily go to sleep and it is not the purpose of Meditation to bring on sleep. Start with one thing - something simple: a smell, a sound, a motion, a passage or verse for contemplation. If moving, how long do you want to be doing your movement (not where you will go or the product of your action)? The Meditation Don’t worry about the past or project into the future. Concentrate on the moment you are in – right now, right here. Notice your breathing. Notice the sounds around you. Notice what you see, or close your eyes. Notice the smells. Notice the tastes. Notice the feel of air brushing against your skin or the cloth against your skin. But try to not "think" about any of them. Avoid thinking if they are good or bad, pleasant or annoying, useful or beautiful – just notice them, as they are. If you should accidentally start thinking, that is not bad. Just notice that you are thinking about something and try to get your attention back to the experience of being aware of this exact moment.

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Maybe you will have someone come to you and want to talk while you are being quiet. Tat means that as part of your "now" you have someone who wants to talk to you. It may be about something for their own beneft, but you have someone who wants to talk to you. Was that always true? Successful Meditation With successful Meditation you simplify your life to the exact moment where you are. You will fnd a new starting point in "here" and "now." You will discover that every moment in your life has had a "here" and "now," but you missed them because of thoughts of "there" and "then." You will fnd a new ability to recognize new answers, the ability to change directions with less stress, and the serenity that comes from without. You will notice the lost opportunities of the past without criticism or judgment. Simply notice the diﬀerence between a life lived in the "there" and "then," and a new life lived in the "here" and "now." If you remember the idea of being lost in a store, you will discover how to meditate to make yourself "fndable" to your own Higher Power, or God as you understand God.

"We will understand the word serenity, and we will know peace...” Page 84

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Steps & Traditions

– 113 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Anonymousreview.org

An Overview of the Steps

Alcoholics Anonymous is a program of action, and the Twelve Steps are the Program we have followed to attain and maintain Sobriety. Trough the Steps we are given the simple and direct action necessary to help us not pick up a drink or any other mind-altering substance outside of direct medical supervision. Trough the Steps we fnd the way to deal with the guilt, shame, remorse, and fear that rises when we have stopped medicating ourselves with alcohol (and often with other substances and behaviors). Trough the Steps we learn to face and heal our pasts to give us time in the present to enjoy our lives, to become contributing members of our families and communities, and to live without the Fear that formerly drove our lives. Trough these Steps we achieve a Spiritual Awakening. It is not required to have the desire for Sobriety to begin working the Steps. Tat can come later. How could you want Sobriety? How can you want something that was not part of your life before? How many people do you party with who were sober? If you had a period of sobriety from one of the many methods available, or even from a previous exposure to the Twelve Steps, but went back to drinking, how much of your experience was a real connection to be Sober? You do not have to want Sobriety to begin. You only need to know Step Zero. At this point it is only necessary that you know your life cannot continue on as it has. You do not need to know the new way yet, but only be convinced that the old way must stop, no matter what! At this point most alcoholics begin a long struggle to stop on their own – and to stay stopped. In the Big Book this is well described in the chapter “More about Alcoholism:”

– 114 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

“Here are some of the methods we have tried: “Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing oﬀ forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we could increase the list ad infnitum.” Page 31 Since that was written, we have added professional treatment centers, drugs to keep you “sober,” therapies, workshops, books, classes, tapes, CDs, websites, and support groups — along with those who oppose one or more of these approaches. Te program of Alcoholics Anonymous addresses these other methods in two of their traditions: Tradition Nine: AA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. Tradition Ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Troughout AA literature it is acknowledged that the Twelve Steps are not the only way to achieve and maintain sobriety. For some people those other techniques have worked. Some problem drinkers have simply set their minds to sobriety, fought the battle alone, and won. Others have gone back to church, stopped drinking, and lived new, sober, and successful lives. Some have gone to therapy, found sobriety, and lived healthy, successful lives. But people in AA know the other side of that reality — we have seen people who have come, achieved success to the point of accruing years of Recovery, only to allow their old ways of thinking drag them back down to insanity, institutions, and death. And death is not the worst thing that can happen when someone goes back to drinking.

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When Step Zero has been achieved, years of struggle can end in disaster. At that point, you have the choice to try another method, or (if you feel your problem and your life is as we describe it) you may then choose to join us and work the Steps. Steps: Step Zero to Step One For most of us, Step Zero has been some form of screaming: “Tis must STOP!” Tis book assumes you have already passed through Step Zero and Step One. If you have not yet explored the First Step, set this book aside until you have completed Step One and are convinced that you are an alcoholic. Step Zero is that point where you understand that your Problem, as shown through excessive drinking and/or drugging, has got to stop. Tis is not a Step from the Big Book, but everyone we have encountered who has succeeded with fnding and maintaining Sobriety reports that they reached this point. Why Work the Steps? Step One is diﬃcult. It is a merciless admission that goes against everything an alcoholic has believed about his or her mastery of life. Many people fght admitting that they are in the grip of a disease and mental compulsion that they cannot consciously master. Despite all evidence they have before them, the true alcoholic believes that with more strength, with more will, with more determination, they will one day be able to control their drinking and return to drinking without the problems and consequences. “Many pursue this delusion to the gates of insanity or death!” - Page 30 Until they admit to their innermost selves that if they take a single drink, they cannot guarantee how long they will drink, how much they will drink, what they will do while drunk, or where they will come to when they wake up. “Lack of power, that is our dilemma.” - Page 45 Te powerlessness of this dilemma makes Step One require a great deal of work, made more diﬃcult by the fact that we do not have the authority to declare any man or woman to be an alcoholic.

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“We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.” Page 31 Te First Step requires something simple and very difficult — the new man or woman must admit to themselves if the conditions of Step One are true. Tis means you must become honest enough to admit that these conditions are already true. Have you reached Step Zero? Have you tried everything within your power to get sober and to stay sober? Is your life, with or without alcohol, unmanageable? Tis means the results of your best thoughts, plans, efforts, and actions have been tried and the results have been completely unmanageable by you. We do know that people who fnd AA (and not everyone knows about Alcoholics Anonymous) who stay and who actually do Te Work of the Twelve steps, do recover. Even if they don’t believe it will work. Even if they don’t like it. Even if they don’t understand it. Even if they are uncomfortable doing Te Work. Even if they are not religious. Even if they don’t fnd the spirituality others would approve of. Even if they use the AA Group itself as their Higher Power. Even if they suffer great reversals in health, love, and fnances. Even if they fnd great success in health, love, and fnances. Even if they have no idea of what a “spiritual life” might be. Even if you lived what you thought was a deeply “spiritual life” but returned to drinking and the dark despair that comes with relapse. Even if you believe there is no hope.

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Te Twelve Steps do not require that you believe Recovery is even possible when you come through the door. You only need to know that you cannot continue the way you are going. You might come in because of a threat from a spouse, or a judge, or a doctor, or an employer. It doesn’t matter. Show up. Come to see if what we have can help you. Come to see if you are really an alcoholic — or not. If you decide you are an alcoholic and have seen people with Recovery the way you would like to have it, do the Steps. Do Te Work, even if you don’t think it will work for you. Te Twelve Steps work. Period.

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The Birth of the Twelve Steps

Te Twelve Steps were not a part of the early process before the publication of the Big Book. Te Oxford Group used a “six step” system that was not written down, but rephrased in various ways through the years. In December, 1938, during one of the meetings about the development of the book in Bill’s house on Clinton Street, Bill Wilson and Hank Parkhurst were becoming full of themselves – talking about putting “some of that spirituality stuﬀ” into the book because it would help sales. At that point, Bill’s wife, Lois, who had been listening from the kitchen, erupted into the discussion. Lois stuck her fnger into Bill’s face and said, strongly, “If you keep talking like that, mister, you’re going to forget the God who got you sober and you’re going to drink!” Overwhelmed with what that would mean, Lois burst into tears and ran upstairs, leaving Bill and Hank in an awkward silence. Hank excused himself and went home, leaving Bill to digest what had just happened. Bill had been a member of the Oxford Group for several years, and the OG had a system of Prayer, followed by Meditation, called ‘Quiet Time’. Bill retired to a small bed he had built under the stairs, a necessity because Bill was too tall to stretch out on a regular sized bed. He prayed and meditated on the problem before him. After about an hour, he sat up, took the yellow pad and pencil from their regular position on the table next to his bed, and began to write. He broke down the Oxford Group’s Six Steps into smaller chunks and, when he was satisfed, he counted them and found he had broken those original Steps into Twelve. Twelve appealed to him as a Christian, and he shared them with the other members of his New York “Alcoholic Squad”, as the members of the Oxford Group had come to call this little band of recovering alcoholics in their midst. After that introduction, Hank’s secretary Ruthie Hock typed up the Steps and sent a copy to the Akron group for discussion. Te Steps, as they appear today, are only a few words diﬀerent from the original longhand list.

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The Original Six Steps

For Ed - 1. Admitted Hopeless 2. Got Honest with self 3. Got Honest with another 4. Made Amends 5. Helped others without demand 6. Prayed to god as you understood Him. April 1953 Ever, Bill W. Original AA Steps.

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Bill Wilson’s handwritten Six Steps

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Anonymousreview.org

Looking at the First Three Steps

Having covered the information in pages xxiii through page 63 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, we asked ourselves the following questions when taking the frst three Steps. Step One - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. • If, when I honestly want to, can I quit entirely (because of the mental obsession), or if when drinking, do I have little control over the amount I take (because of the physical allergy)? • If you’ve answered “no” to the frst part and “yes” to the second, you’re probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suﬀering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (page 30) • Drunk or sober (suﬀering from “untreated alcoholism”), do I have trouble with personal relationships? Can I control my emotional natures? Am I a prey to misery and depression? Can I make a living (a happy and contented life)? Do I have a feeling of uselessness? Am I full of fear? Am I unhappy? Do I fnd that I can’t seem to be of real help to other people? (page 52) • Do I fully concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic? (page 44) Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. • Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? (page 47)

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• Do I have a conception of that Power which makes sense to me? (page 46) • When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t. What is my choice to be? (page 53) Because so much of the Program revolves around our Spiritual Life, we have created a whole section devoted the the Question of Spirit. Step Tree - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Third Step Decision “Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.” Page 62 To affirm this decision, we say the Tird Step Prayer: “God, I offer myself to Tee—to build with me and to do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love, and Ty Way of life. May I do Ty will always!” Page 63 “Tird Step Prayer” from the Big Book is a suggestion. Some people with serious sobriety, serious clean time, may have presented it to you as a ritual. Te original form of the Seventh Step began, “Humbly, on our knees...” But the original authors removed that phrase based on the group conscience that resulted in the book we know. Te Prayer they present is not a magic do for you because you said the magic words. You must say the Prayer, but in your own words. “Te wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. Tis was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.” Page 63

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Now, with all of this said, we need to get to the meat of the Tird Step. As you may have heard “making a decision” means nothing until it is followed with the commitment to take actions. If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the words as written in the Big Book, if you do not use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal language, you can take the Prayer and restate it in your own words so that you can say a heartfelt Prayer of surrender and willingness in order to proceed with your Recovery. In the Tird Step we decided to turn our thoughts and actions over to the care of God. Te way we carry out that decision is by taking the actions of Steps 4 through 9. We found in Chapter 4, “We Agnostics,” that God dwells deep down within us. We’ve been blocked from God’s Power because of our own self- will – our character defects and shortcomings (i.e. selfshness, dishonesty, resentment, fear, guilt, shame, remorse, anger, etc.) Te frst step of getting us “unblocked” is Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral Inventory of ourselves.

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Ken D., Los Angeles, CA • Joe A. Raleigh, NC • Cliff D., NYC Fred S., Raleigh, NC and other anonymous authors

Simple Directions

A Fourth Step Inventory Guide

WARNING: TRAVEL BEYOND THIS POINT WITHOUT A SPONSOR IS NOT ADVISED. Step Four - Made a searching and fearless moral Inventory of ourselves Tis guide is not the idea of one person. Scott L. oﬀered his excellent presentation of the Inventory Process in four talks available for free from the xa-speakers.org website. Te “One Way Group” Inventory Guide, written by the late Ken D. of Los Angeles, in 1959 is oﬀered to help jog your memory or point you to a thought that will improve your Inventory. Te Primary Purpose Group of Plano, TX makes excellent helpings of experience, strength and hope available through its recorded speakers and website material. “Circuit speakers” at conventions of Alcoholics Anonymous have added their impact to the Inventory process. Speakers like Chuck C., Clancy I., Tom I., Chris and Myers R., Sandy B. Additional material was made available on the internet through several excellent sources of documents, podcasts, workshop materials, speaker recordings and original essays which highlight more of our shared experience strength and hope. A list of web sites is included in the back of this book and you are encouraged to explore these web sites, but not at the expense of postponing your Fourth Step.

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Above all you will have the experience of your Sponsor to help you overcome your personal obstacles to the massive house-cleaning and correction that began when you accepted the truth of the First Step. If your Sponsor says anything that conficts with this guide go with what your Sponsor has to say for your personal program. Tere is only one way to do the Inventory wrong, and that is to not do one! - Simple Directions Te AA Steps owe a great deal of their structure to the six steps of the original Oxford Group, a Christian fellowship dedicated to the ideal fellowship of the First Century church. When asked about Te Oxford Group’s “Six Steps,” Bill W. wrote the following scrap to explain their process: Our Steps 4 through 9 are a clarifcation of the Oxford Group’s simple Step Four “Make Amends.” Te expansion was intended to break down the process to allow an alcoholic to do each part of the process and do it as thoroughly as possible. If you have made it to Step Tree, your Sponsor and your meetings will confrm that the next Step is to be taken immediately. In the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the direction begins in Chapter Five, at the bottom of page 63, “Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the frst step of which is a personal house-cleaning, which many of us had never attempted.” It is the intent of this guide to help make a searching and moral Inventory as guided by the book. Steps One, Two and Tree did not create the problem - they are the statements of the truth of your disease and your situation. Tey are the beginning of the leveling of pride and Ego, which we are told will become a lifelong process. In each of these steps you begin the diﬃcult process of telling the truth. You did not become an alcoholic because you admitted to Step One. You simply admitted what was already true. You did not create a High Power through Step Two, you simply admitted to the truth that you are not God or the Higher Power of your personal understanding.

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In Step Tree you did not achieve anything beyond taking that deep breath to begin the work of Recovery. “Te Work” is often referenced in AA meetings, but sometimes people can go for years without knowing what “Te Work” is. For simplicity, let us take a moment to defne “Te Work” for your own progress. Te Big Book is clearly divided between the basic text of the front (Cover through Page 164, or Page 181 to include Dr. Bob’s Nightmare, depending on who you are talking to) and the stories in the back. But on closer examination we fnd a second structure in the book. Te area from the Cover through Page 52 are a summary for Step One - defning alcoholism and the alcoholic, with an introduction to the spiritual nature of our disease. On Page 52, although discussion of the meat of Step Two has already begun, there is a paragraph that gives the summation of “our lives had become unmanageable.” It is sometimes called Te Bedevilments. Te previous pages discuss the changes seen in the 1930s as the result of technological progress. Te authors and early members of our fellowship all came from a time when “man will never fy” had been changed to include regularly scheduled fights to China from San Francisco. Tey had seen horses and carriages give way to automobiles. Tey had seen communications move from newspapers and telegraphy to newsreels, movies, radio and telephones. Te paragraph on Page 52 raises a list called “Te Bedevilments”. It says: “We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems this same readiness to change the point of view. We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar fight? Of course it was.” At each of the statements it is best to pause, to ask if that part of the paragraph applies to you. • Were you having trouble with personal relationships?

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• Were you able to control your emotions? • Were you prey to misery and depression? • Could you make a living? • Were you full of fear? • Were you unhappy? • Were you able to be of real help to other people? • Do you see that your solution of these bedevilments is more important than other pursuits? Te Bedevilments on Page 52 are the end of Step One and the opening to the work of Step Two. On page 88 you are at the end of Step Eleven. Page 89, the chapter “Working With Others” is the beginning of Step Twelve, which continues through the rest of the book, including the stories in the back. Tose stories are people sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope with you as their Twelve Step call on you. Te 36 pages from page 52 to page 88 contain Steps Two through Eleven. Tese pages, these Steps are “Te Work.” Do the Work and you get the result! You are the only one who can say if you are willing to move forward, but as with the rest of your work in the Twelve Steps, it is best to have an advisor, a “native guide” for the new territory – a Sponsor. Understand that many of the men and women with double-digit sobriety report that they have not seen anyone start a Fourth Step and then hesitate before beginning their amends in Step Nine and stay sober! Te process requires completion. Alcoholics are great beginners, but not so good at fnishing what they start. If you make the commitment, then take the action and the results will follow. Finish this process! You will never feel fnished. T e book tells us this is “the beginning of a lifelong process,” but it also tells us that this way of life is “a design for living that really works.”

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It is suggested that you follow the direction of your Sponsor. If you are not using a Sponsor, it is important that you have someone who can guide you - do not attempt this process on your own. You can never see your eye with that same eye. You must use a mirror, and your Sponsor is your mirror. Te pressure built by performing the Inventory can only be reduced through the thorough examination and organization of what comes out of it. Your Sponsor will help you organize and prioritize the results - what is revelation, what is Ego, what is fear, what is pride and what is an asset. Trough the Fifth Step you will come to see yourself, possibly for the frst time. In the Sixth Step you will realize what parts of you are either defective, or which are lacking, and become willing to have those defects and shortcomings removed. In the Seventh Step you will take the same deep breath you took in Step Tree to turn everything over to the Higher Power in which you have come to believe. You will not tell that Higher Power what is to be removed or to be kept - you ask to have everything that stands in the way of your service to others removed. In Step Eight you will return to this Inventory - most people add to the list begun in Step Four - to determine how you and your disease have damaged the people, institutions and relationships around you. You will fnd that - if you are to stay sober - you are willing to do whatever is required to make those damages heal, or at least make it better. And in Step Nine you will step back into the world to heal the damage of your past and establish a new foundation for life without the weight and, the guilt, the shame, the fear, and the selfshness of your past. But none of this can begin without the thorough house-cleaning required on Pages 63 and 64 of the Big Book. Prepare yourself for this process. Discuss your fears with your Sponsor. Gather your materials and begin. Dr. Bob’s Review If you visit the home of Dr. Bob in Akron, one of the things you will fnd is a review of Steps One, Two and Tree. It would be appropriate for you and your Sponsor to examine this document before you proceed to Step Four. If you

– 129 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition cannot be content with the answers to this set of questions, you may need to go back to your earlier work before proceeding to Step Four. Step One (Yes or No) a Have you learned and have you fully conceded to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic? b Do you have any reservations or lingering ideas that one day you will be immune to or UNAFFECTED by drinking alcohol? Step Two (Yes or No) a Do you believe, or are you even willing to believe, that there is a power greater than you? Step Three (Yes or No) a Are you convinced about Steps One and Two? b Are you convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success? c Are you convinced that your troubles are basically of your own making, and that they arise out of you and that you are an extreme example of self will run riot? d Are you convinced that you must be rid of this selfishness? e Are you convinced that your selfishness is killing you? f Are you convinced that there is often no way of entirely getting rid of self without a Higher Power’s aid? g Are you convinced that you must have a Higher Power’s help? h Are you convinced that you have to quit playing the role of a Higher Power - that it never worked? i Are you convinced that a Higher Power is going to be your Director, Principal, Father, and Employer? j Are you convinced that you have thought well about taking this Step? k Are you convinced that you can at last abandon yourself utterly to a Higher Power?

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Are You Ready for The Prayer? God I offer myself to Tee - to build with me and do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty power, Ty love, and Ty way of life. May I do Ty will always!” Remember, the next paragraph on Page 63 says “Te wording, of course, is quite optional.” It is important that you mean what you pray. If you can take the words as presented and come to mean them, the Prayer as written can work for you. If, however, you fnd it hard to relate to the words as written, if you do not use “Tee” and “Tine” as part of your normal language, you can take the Prayer and re-state it in your own words so that you can say a heart-felt Prayer of surrender and willingness to proceed with your Recovery. An Important Note Te Big Book says at the end of Step Tree (emphasis added): “NEXT we launch out on a course of VIGOROUS action, the frst step of which is a personal house-cleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Tough our decision (Step Tree) was a vital and crucial step (so it’s important), it could have LITTLE PERMANENT EFFECT (it doesn’t amount to much) unless AT ONCE (immediately or now) followed by a STRENUOUS EFFORT to face (where we face these things is in Steps 4 - 6), AND to be rid of (where we get rid of these things is in Steps 7 - 9), the things in ourselves which had been blocking us (we can’t turn our will and our lives over to the care of God until we get unblocked from doing so by immediately and quickly working Steps Four through Nine. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Page 76 Preparation Before he died, Dr. Bob told Bill “Keep it Simple.” You can follow that in your Inventory. Te frst thing you need to do is talk with your Sponsor. Does your Sponsor agree that you are ready to take this next step? Go through this booklet with your Sponsor to be sure that he, or she, agrees with the process it presents. Your Sponsor may have used a different system and if anything is found in these pages

– 131 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition that is in confict with your Sponsor - go with the direction your Sponsor gives you. Your Sponsor knows you better than the authors of this booklet! Get a notebook to dedicate to your Inventory. It can be a simple spiral bound notebook, a composition book or other empty volume. You can usually fnd good ones in dollar stores, or you might have one left over from a previous “good intention” attempt at the Steps which is still blank and usable. Keep two or three reliable pens or pencils with you. Tat way the excuses “my pen stopped working” or “my pencil broke” will not be valid. Have your own copy of the Big Book and, if your Sponsor agrees, a copy of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Your Sponsor may suggest a certain number of sessions per week - 20-60 minutes committed in advance. Your schedule may only allow one session per week, a certain number of times per week, or commit to time spent on your Inventory every day - make this decision with your Sponsor and then live up to your commitment to your Recovery. Try to fnd a place where you can concentrate to work. It should be quiet - free of distractions but you will hear of people who worked on their Inventory while the kids were making noise elsewhere in the house, or they worked on their Inventory sitting in their car at a lake or wooded spot, or sitting in a coﬀee shop, or a public library or even when attending a special “writing” meeting occasionally oﬀered by individual AA groups. You will fnd you can complete your Inventory if your commitment is to fnish and is not dependant on some condition you set before you begin. When you sit down to write, be comfortable and take a few moments to be quiet. Pray and meditate as you feel is appropriate - you may be able to fnd the quiet you need in a few moments, or you may need ten or twenty minutes of Prayer and Meditation to begin. Don’t try to decide in advance what you should or should not write down - if you think of it, write it down. If you are writing an Inventory after a relapse, talk to your Sponsor. Most Sponsors tell a returning member of AA not to depend on the previous Inventory (or inventories). Te issues raised on those previous inventories were not handled by someone who stayed sober.

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Remember, we can write too little for our Inventory, but we can never write too much.

NOTE: Your Inventory is not a long narrative to explain everything. Your Sponsor may (or may not) approve of you writing such a narrative as part of your Recovery, but that is not your Inventory. Te Inventory is clearly shown in the Big Book and this guide is to help you complete that process. You may not like, agree with, understand, or want to do some of this work. We do not care what you like, agree with, understand or want to do ... we care what you do! What you like, agree with, understand or want to do is what brought you here. Tis is the work you must do to stay sober. As the shoe company ad says --

“Just do it!”

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Your Fourth Step Inventory Notebook

Three Benefits of the Inventory Nothing will come up that you have never thought about before. Doing an Inventory will give you the experience of seeing all of these moments from your life, from your history of dysfunction and disease, in one place. Te patterns of your behavior will become apparent.. You will see them in a new light and your worst aspects will become your greatest lessons. Writing the Inventory in long hand, and not writing it on a computer or speaking it into a tape recorder, requires the rhythmic action of physically writing. And, if you are like most of us, you do not like your own handwriting. While some part of your brain is complaining about how you make O’s or A’s or I’s or L’s, the truth can get out without your brain censoring your words. And fnally, writing the Inventory stops your story from changing. Whether you know it or not, every time your have told part of your story it has changed – just a little. You were a little more holy, they became more evil.

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Over time those tiny changes have shifted the story from what was true. Te Inventory gives you a chance to fnd the Truth that has slipped away from you. The Notebook Get a simple notebook. At the time of this writing one of the most used products for school is a “spiral bound notebook”. It is a pad of paper, usually punched with three holes to be held in a regular three-ring binder, but held together with a wound wire - the spiral binding. You can use loose leaf notebook paper, or a bound “composition book,” but whatever you use it should be intended to use like a book, turning from one page to another.

Page One Open the notebook and on the frst page write your name, your contact info and whatever else your Sponsor feels you should put on that page. Sometimes that can include the date of sobriety, or a request that anyone fnding your notebook not read it - almost everyone doing an Inventory chooses to keep their unfnished Inventory under lock and key. COMMIT With your sponsor, commit to exactly how much minimum time you are willing to devote to the writing of this inventory. Tis should take into account work time, family commitments and health, but you must commit to taking the time to do the work.

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The Two Page Spread When you open the notebook from the frst page, you have a two page spread in front of you. Use that to your advantage. On the right side, draw a line down the page, approximately in the middle. You will do several sections of the Inventory, but under each section you will follow the same format. On each section you work down the column, not across.

Go to Page 65 of your Big Book to see the example given (looks like the left side). Tis is a variation on that sample.

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Take that deep breath again, become calm and put your pencil to the paper... Column One: Who At the top of the left side page, on the left side of the red line draw down the page, write the word ‘Name’. Remember, work down the column, not across. Te insruction for this column is: “write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line, write a name...” It does not matter how you feel about this person, institution or situation - write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line. If you have someone special that you have a lot to write about - write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line, write a name. Tere is no ‘special’ entry. Tat is not a suggestion - that is a direction. You will see why we do this in the next stage. DO NOT decide what you do and do not have to put on your Inventory. DO NOT decide “I’ve already dealt with this (and don’t have to do it)”. If it comes up, put it down. It doesn’t matter if it was when you were four, or last Saturday - put it down on paper. Tis paper. Right here, right now.

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You are going to do several lists. You will list your resentments. You will list your fears. You will list your sexual misconduct. You will list assets. And more. You will use this same technique for every topic. For this column, all you have to do is write a name, skip a line and write a name. Some names may appear on more than one list. When you can look at the list for 15 or 20 minutes and not come up with a new name, then you are ready to do the next column.

Column Two: Why? On the left hand page, at the top of the page on the right side of the red line write “Why on the list.” When you have your list of names, you will be tempted to write a long narrative of how they have wronged you. Your Sponsor may decide you should write such a narrative - but that is not your Inventory. Tat is a long narrative of how the world has wronged you - and it will not keep you sober! For your Inventory you need to identify exactly why each of these names have appeared on your list, and do so in a clear and simple manner. Tink of it as a report - “just the facts.” You may want to tell what someone else thought or wanted. Don’t do it. You do not know what someone else thought or wanted - even if they told you, they might have been lying. You don’t know.

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Why they are on your list should be considered and the shortest possible statement will cut to the core of your reaction to them and what they did, or what you may think they did. Look closely at the sample from Page 65 in the Big Book. Te name with the longest reason for being on the list uses only 19 words. We are learning to discipline ourselves and this is an exercise in the indulgence of “explaining.” When you write more about why they are on your list, you begin explaining why they are wrong and why you were right, or the other way around. No more than 19 words per name in the corresponding second column. Tat is not a suggestion, that is a rule. You write a maximum of 19 words per name. You might want to write that rule on the top of this column, so you don’t ‘forget’. Understand, we usually want to explain it all - and explain it in a way that makes us look righteous and makes them look as bad as possible. You also do not need to deal with what their motive may have been - you are the one here trying to put your life in order. Tey are not. We cannot do anything about them. You are here for your life, for your Recovery. We can only deal with you. What matters is your perception and what you thought and did. Short and sweet. Keep it simple. Te example from Page 65 has another feature we will use. Te one who has the most written about why they are on the list gets just 19 words to explain why they were named. If we are following the directions, you should be able to state, in 19 words or less, exactly why they are on your list. When you write the reason for the name being on our list, you are to tell us what happened. Tis column is reporting - even the phrase like “she’s a nut” might be allowed if that is why she is on your list, even if you aren’t qualifed to make a determination of another person’s sanity. Write no more than 19 words, no matter what. Do not explain, just say why they are on your list. Don’t rush it, but don’t drag your feet.

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Column three: What It Effects

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE TO TELL WHAT THAT PERSON, IDEA, INSTITUTION OR SITUATION THREATENED. Was it your personal standing or position? Your pride? Your fnancial security? Your self esteem? Te way it caused other people to view you? Your sexual relationships? Your business relationships or friendships? Your legal position? Your criminal activities? Do you have something that was aﬀected that is NOT listed in the examples? Column Four Column Four will take up the last column of your two-page spread. Leave this column blank until you get together with your Sponsor for your Fifth Step. Tis is what we often refer to as “Te exact nature of the problem.”

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Your Sponsor, or the person with whom you share your Inventory, can help you decide what to put down in that part of the page. Tis column will provide you with focus on where your behavior and attitudes need to change. You will also fnd the beginnings of your Eighth Step list in your exploration of your Inventory and what it has revealed. A great deal of it may be repetitive. You may fnd things like “Dishonesty,” “Manipulation,” “Lying,” “Fear,” or some other problem come up over and over again. Do not be surprised – you are not creating brand new defects but expressing the same defects over and over. But this should be discussed with the person who hears your Fifth Step. The Lists We are told to Inventory our Resentments, which is how this section began. When you have completed the three columns for Resentment, turn to a fresh two page spread, draw your line down the middle of the right hand page and do your next areas. Tere are two primary lists suggested. Fears We do not like to admit to fear unless we can use that admission to manipulate someone else’s thoughts or feelings. With alcohol or drugs we avoided feelings and fear was one of the biggest to avoid. Face your fear by listing, using the exact same method, each fear or incident of fear. Name, skip a line, name. Why that name is on your list and what was aﬀected. Sex You are expected to list your resentments, your fears, and your sexual conduct. You will also deal with people you have harmed (Step Eight). Use the same format - write a name, skip a line, write a name (or some indicator), even if you can’t think of the specifc name of the person involved. On page 70 the Big Book says, “To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We

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think of their needs and work for them. Tis takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.” Additional Topics You and your sponsor may decide there are specifc areas you need to Inventory in detail, such as stealing, criminal activity, secrets or other topics. Something New If you have an area you need to Inventory, some area you are afraid will drive you out to get drunk or get high, you can use the Inventory process to detail exactly what is there, and do a new Fifth Step to understand it, then develop a way to change yourself, confront the defciencies within you that this Inventory reveals, and the see how you can work new Amends to discharge the shame, damage or other negative eﬀects of this area. Being honest with this level of Inventory can also help you carry your message to the people who are newer than you and may need to turn to you to fnd how to handle the same problem with their own Recovery. The One Way Prompts Later in this chapter you will fnd a list of suggestions from the One Way Group in Los Angeles from around 1960. After each list it ads “others not listed”, so you can add more that may not have been recognized for inclusion. Te “Prompts” from the One Way Group may help you fll out your third column. Assets When you have fnished your Resentments, Fears and Sex lists, Following the directions means following all of the directions. For your Inventory this will include your assets. A business which takes no regular Inventory usually goes broke. Taking complete Inventory is a fact-fnding and a fact-facing process. It is an eﬀort to discover the truth about the stock-in- trade. Page 64 Te purpose of doing an Inventory of your assets is not to give you a chance to reduce the impact of your fears, your resentments, your sexual conduct or the people you have harmed. In the same way people may use the “Seven Deadly Sins” as a guide to their defects, it may be appropriate to use the “Seven Heavenly Virtues” in relation to

– 142 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition your assets. Tis is a simple list and may be outside your spiritual structure - it is intended as focus for your Inventory. All of the world’s faiths and codes of ethics have similar lists of goals and positive attributes we try to achieve. Chastity - Tis is not simply the maintaining of sexual virginity until marriage, but also your conduct in all areas of sex. Did you lie for sex, manipulate, cheat on your spouse or otherwise place your personal desire over your behavior. Temperance - Tis is not simply avoiding alcohol. Tis idea is the ability to be moderate in all areas - food, righteousness, pride, sex, possessions, etc. Were you temperate in any of the areas of your life? Charity - Did you care for others with your time, resources and aﬀections, or did you give to get? Was your generosity based on helping the other person or institution, or on what beneft you would receive in pride, goods, services, recognition or reputation? Dilligence - Did you complete what you began? Did you complete work or projects only so far as your return was concerned? Do you have a long list of accomplishments or a trail of broken promises - of beginnings without completion? Patience - Could you wait for things to turn out or did you push, become frustrated, manipulate, demand? Was your patience complete or measured to the level of getting what you wanted? Kindness - Were you kind? To others? To strangers? To animals? To children - your own and others? Was your kindness followed with gossip or back-biting? Was it done to feel or show your superiority? Was the focus of your kindness on others or on yourself? Humility - Were you able to go unrecognized and be satisifed that the right thing was done? Did you want or demand that people recognize your actions and that credit was not assigned to someone other than you.

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Assets Did you have gifts? Tese would be abilities that just seemed to come easily to you in the way of talent, understanding or intuition. Did you share those gifts for the beneft of others or did you use them to manipulate events to your own ends? If you were given the gift of leadership, did you use it to lead and beneft those who would follow, or did you use it to grab as much as you could or get other people to do what you wanted them to do? If you could comfort, did you withhold that comfort until your target gave you what you wanted or provided something you could use to satisfy your own greed or desire before you would use your gift? Did you have talents in areas that brought beneft or comfort to others? Music? Counseling? Cooking? Organizing? Did you use these talents for your own beneft or for the beneft of others? Was your asset something that was a beneft to those around you or used as a weapon to control situations and people to feed your own desires? Use a fresh page in your notebook and write a list of assets, gifts or talents or abilities you feel you have been given. What have you been given the talent to do. As you did with your names, work down the column. Beside each asset, write how you have used it. Te purpose of knowing your assets is to show where you have been given a gift, and where you have abused that gift in the course of your alcoholism. If you identify an asset that you have used correctly - do not try to “fx” it! Be grateful and, when the time comes, be ready to turn that asset over to your Higher Power to allow it to beneft those you would help.

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It is the nature of alcoholics in the throes of the disease to injure and abuse other people and to lessen and abuse themselves in the constant struggle for more of everything. We demanded more money, sex, power, prestige, possessions, or satisfaction but no matter how great our acquisitions, we were never satisfed. We take more pride in our ability to be more defective than others and judge everything about ourselves as defective. In the Ninth Step promises we are told: “No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can beneft others.” Judgement One of the most important lessons we learn is that our judgement of others, or ourselves, has been damaged by our disease. What we consider our most wonderful feature may turn out to be damaging to other people. We fnd that our worst history becomes our greatest asset in helping others. At this point we not only need to work at our willingness to have our defects removed and our shortcomings corrected, but become willing to use our assets as they were intended – for the beneft of others – or to let them go. Accepting that we have assets, and that we have not used those assets properly, is a fnal phase in becoming willing to have the Higher Power we found in Steps Two and Tree take over everything in our lives. Our defects. Our shortcomings. Our assets. Everything.

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The One Way Group - Los Angeles 1960

Inventory Prompts

[ ] Father (Step) [ ] Uncles [ ] Creditors [ ] Mother (Step) [ ] Cousins [ ] Teachers [ ] Sisters (Step) [ ] Clergy [ ] Friends [ ] Brothers (Step) [ ] Police [ ] Acquaintances [ ] Grandmother [ ] Lawyers [ ] Girl Friends [ ] Grandfather [ ] Judges [ ] Boy Friends [ ] In-Laws [ ] Doctors [ ] Parole Officers [ ] Husbands [ ] Employers [ ] Probation Officers [ ] Wives [ ] Employees [ ] AA Friends [ ] Aunts [ ] Co-Workers Plus others not listed Institutional Prompts / Marriage

[ ] Marriage [ ] Authority [ ] Nationality [ ] Bible [ ] Government [ ] Church [ ] Education System [ ] Religion [ ] Correctional System Plus others not listed [ ] Races [ ] Mental Health System [ ] Law [ ] Philosophy Principles Prompts

[ ] Retribution [ ] Rules [ ] Adultery [ ] Ten Commandments [ ] Death [ ] Golden Rule [ ] Jesus Christ [ ] Life After Death [ ] Seven Deadly Sins [ ] Satan [ ] Heaven [ ] Social Responsibility [ ] Laws [ ] Hell Plus others not listed

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Fears Prompts

[ ] Dying [ ] Doctors [ ] Disapproval [ ] Insanity [ ] Stealing [ ] Rejection [ ] Rejection [ ] Creditors [ ] Confrontation [ ] Loneliness [ ] Being Found Out [ ] Sobriety [ ] Diseases [ ] Homosexuals & [ ] Hospitals [ ] Alcohol Lesbians [ ] Responsibility [ ] Drugs [ ] Failure [ ] Feelings [ ] Relapse [ ] Success [ ] Getting Old [ ] Sex [ ] Responsibility [ ] Hurting Others [ ] Sin [ ] Physical Pain [ ] Violence [ ] Self-Expression [ ] Fear [ ] Writing Inventory [ ] Authority [ ] Drowning [ ] Being Alive [ ] Heights [ ] Men [ ] Government [ ] Unemployment [ ] Women [ ] Gangs [ ] Employment [ ] Being Alone [ ] Gossip [ ] Parents [ ] People [ ] Wealthy People [ ] Losing a Spouse [ ] Crying [ ] Guns [ ] Losing a Child [ ] Poverty [ ] Change [ ] Animals [ ] Races [ ] Insects [ ] The Unknown Plus others not listed. [ ] Police [ ] Abandonment [ ] Jail [ ] Intimacy

Sex Prompts

[ ] Abortion [ ] Rape (statutory or [ ] Masturbation [ ] Adultery forced) [ ] Arson (re: desire) [ ] Animal Sex [ ] Same Sex [ ] Sexual Repression [ ] Incest [ ] Any Deviation from [ ] Fetish [ ] Sadism (causing mental Normal [ ] Transvestism or physical pain to [ ] Molesting others) [ ] Pornography Plus others not listed. [ ] Masochism (causing [ ] Prostitution mental or physical [ ] Fraud Sex (false pain to self) promises)

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The Sex Ideal

Dear God, please help me to see what You want for me regarding relationships with others and my sex life.

Te original “Inventory Guide” was handed out in a ‘vest pocket’ format. It was typeset using the old -technology of “hot type” and printed by hand on similar vintage “proofng press,” then folded, stapled and trimmed by hand. Te materials from the “Inventory Helper” comes from that original hand-out. The One Way Group Inventory Guide handout

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The Original One Way Group Handout

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Anonymousreview.org

Step Five

“Tis is the step that separates the men from boys” (or the girls from women). Step Five breaks the pattern of secrets and isolation that have kept us drunk and held down by our disease.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Page 63 Your Sponsor is one of the tools of the program and like any tool it will not help you if you do not use it appropriately. Your Sponsor will give you some directions on how your Fifth Step will be conducted - the place, time, duration and process. Most Fifth Steps are done with the Sponsor and the person whose Fifth Step is being heard separated from distractions. You Sponsor may want you to go to a special location (your home, the Sponsor’s home, a peaceful outdoor location, etc.) to get this personal time - the goal is to remove distractions so you can concentrate on the work of breaking the lifetime habit of keeping the secrets and hiding the truth from yourself and others. Tis is when you will use column four on your Inventory. It is commonly called “What is Your Part?” Before taking Step Five we are given some specifc directions to review our work so far. “If we have been thorough about our personal Inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. ” Page 70 “When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written Inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner

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what we are about to do and why we have to do it. We should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confdence.” Page 75

Tere is no “perfect” Fourth Step - the World Service Oﬃce is not reserving a special niche for your Inventory to show the world how an Inventory should be done. You do your Fourth the very best you can do it and - most often - will fnd that there is enough relief from the past to move forward with your Recovery. Tere is only one way to do it wrong - to not do it. Your Sponsor will probably ask questions to clarify some of the points you have written - it will be your opportunity to give more detail on the 19 words you were allowed for anything on your list. You may be directed to write into the fourth column of the Inventory to identify the exact nature of the problem. What was your part in this entry on the Inventory? What does it tell you about yourself, your personal defects or shortcomings? A Sponsor will usually tell you something of their own story to show how they have had to deal with items from their own Inventory. Your Sponsor will also guide you away from focus on how others have harmed you, but how you have participated in the process of stepping on their toes and causing them to retaliate. Sometimes a Sponsor will need to point out when you have been taking something as a personal injury that was simply a fact of life aﬀecting others at the same time. On page 46 of the Twelve and Twelve it says: “Te Sponsor probably points out that the newcomer has some assets which can be noted along with his liabilities. Tis tends to clear away morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he begins to be more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects.” You do not need to understand the process - this is not about building your intellectual strength, but getting down to the basic, honest feelings that have been the foundation of your resentments, fears and relationships. Let your Sponsor guide you and know that there is nothing on your list that does not have a name - and a name means someone else has done it, felt it or had to deal with it. You are not alone.

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It is important that you not try to do a Fifth Step alone. You use an Inventory to focus on your own problems - not the defects of the names on your lists. It is for you, your discovery of your own defects and shortcomings, your own spiritual journey and cleaning your side of the street. You will most likely think of more to go on an Inventory after you do your Fifth Step and it doesn’t matter what you call the continuation of your Inventory. Te Tenth Step says “Continued to take personal Inventory...” so you might want to look at additions as part of your Tenth Step or a new Fourth Step. You may fnd there is a particular area of your life where you want to focus on a new Inventory - your marriage, secret crimes (such as stealing, hidden judgements, gossip, withholding care or money or connection with children or parents, etc.). Discuss these with your Sponsor to determine the best way to approach such new house-cleanings. Te only thing that matters is doing the work and putting pen to paper. Just do it. Your Fourth Step is a real milestone in your commitment and progress to your Recovery.

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Step Six

Te Big Book only gives one paragraph on Step Six and, while the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions gives further instructions, this Step requires you to review the frst f ve Steps to fnd out what your Inventory has revealed - or confrmed - about your own problems. “Returning home we fnd a place where we can be quiet for a hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the frst fve proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.” “Is our work solid so far?” “Are the stones properly in place?” “Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? “Have we tried to make mortar without sand?” Pages 87-88 Te Big Book frequently uses terms “short-comings” and “defects.” One way to look at these problems is to defne them, even if Bill did not write the defnitions in the Big Book, several other people have provided defnitions over the years. For our purpose, let us think of a “short-coming” as something you need to have but do not have enough of (such as honesty, integrity, tolerance, love, charity, forgiveness, etc.). A “defect” can be thought of as something you have, but is either wrong, damaged, or being used to make it a weapon to cause damage to others. Both of these problems need to be cleared, but frst you must know what is true about yourself, even if it means losing some of the old comfort of your

– 154 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition victim-hood, your righteousness, your belief that you were right or that you had the ability to defne the world or other people. Te purpose is to see your own real problems - the thing that either led you to drink or to fnd comfort in alcoholic numbness and oblivion. Hopefully in your Inventory you found a few things of value - the Big Book tells us to Inventory EVERYTHING, including our assets. Assets are not there for us to take comfort that we still have something worth keeping - assets are things we have the ability to do but which we may not have used properly or something that we do well that will be of use in our new purpose: “Our real purpose is to fx ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” Page 89 Te challenge of Step Six is to look at our own desire to hold onto a defect because of the beneft we receive from it – and we have manipulated well known human faws, from Seven Deadly Sins to our own special faws, to serve our desires and selfsh goals. Are you willing to live a life, striving to be an honest adult, unlike what you have done before you entered your Recovery? Are you willing to stop gossip? Tis means to stop repeating things you did not experience, based on the hearsay of other people, or “improving” the story to make it clear to others what you want it to say? Are you willing to stop lies? To stop “embellishing” your stories or withholding the truth to appear more virtuous, or to be loved, if lust isn’t your primary focus? If you give up greed, are you afraid you will lose motivation to make a living or not get things you think you deserve? If you have been known for sloth, or procrastination, are you willing to do the work required, but which people do not expect you to perform? If your wrath is removed, how will you feel with situations when you feel you have been wronged? Are you willing to live by the same rules you expect of the people around you? Can you live without your “righteous indignation” when you are positive that the other side is wrong and that you may not win? Even at work? Even in politics? Even in questions of religion?

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If you succeed in surrendering your pride, do you think you will never feel satisfaction over true accomplishments? Step Six prepares you for the work of Step Seven, which requires that you be willing to have God take over everything in your life to heal your problems and make you the person you have the capacity to be. Te goal is to prepare you to be a whole, healthy, emotionally sober, happy human being.

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Step Seven

Step Seven may not be what we expected when we began. It is not coming up with a list of things we want God to fx and then putting in our service order to have the changes made to our specifcations. On page 76 we are given what many people call the Seventh Step Prayer: “When ready, we say something like this: “My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen.” But many people say that the Tird Step Prayer does not end with “amen” and that the Seventh Step Prayer does. Tis is because they are thought of as one enveloping Prayer. Together they read: “God I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always! My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen.” Even if you fnd other wording to be more appropriate, are you in full agreement with the terms of this Prayer?

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Are you willing to turn everything over to God or a Higher Power of your understanding, holding nothing back? Are you sure you have not deceived yourself by withholding some detail of your past, your desires, your plans or your expectations of how your life and Recovery are supposed to unfold? Tis step is complete surrender. We were told: “Te results were nil until we let go absolutely.” Page 58 In the beginning we said we were willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism. Tese are the lengths to which we must go. We try to clean house to the best of our ability, knowing that we will continue cleaning for as long as we live. We strive to be honest in our dealings with those around us, with ourselves, with our past and with our Higher Power. We work for progress, knowing we will never attain perfection. Can you confrm to yourself that you have, to the best of your ability, done the work intended behind the Prayer? If you believe you have done the best you can do to this point, knowing you may improve later, you are ready to move into the work of Steps Eight and Nine.

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Step Seven With A Worksheet

One of our visitors asked us if we knew of a Step Seven worksheet. Tere are, of course, a plethora of such things, most of them for sale somewhere. One of our members was curious about creating something more of a Step Seven think- sheet. And he did. And it's free. And here it is. Step Seven: - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. What shortcomings? Te “exact nature of our wrongs” in Step Five is expressed in terms of “defects of character” in Step Six, and offered up to God for removal as “shortcomings” in Step Seven. Bill Wilson, when asked why he used three different sets of words to defne character defects, said it was to avoid repetition. Terefore, he intended that there be no signifcant distinction. Some members waste time by differentiating the three expressions, which we term, simply, as character defects. When Step Five is performed well, we leave with a list of our character defects. In Step Six, we progressively become willing to have these removed from us, and in Step Seven, we pray that they might be removed. Make a grid similar to the one below and list your defects of character in it. If an example we have entered applies to you, let it remain. If not, replace it with one of yours that is not listed. Some of these may be familiar to you. Willingness for Removal We have identifed seven possible levels of your willingness to have each character defect removed. Tese are: 1 - Already removed 2 - Absolutely willing

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3 - Almost willing 4 - Reluctant, but willing to be willing 5 - Give me more time 6 - I don’t think I will ever be willing 7 - Never Place one of these level indicators in the right column of the grid for each character defect. Add other defects as you learn them. Character Defect List 1 is Low Willingness - 7 is High Willingness Defect Willingness to Have Removed 1. Abusiveness 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 2. Anger/Wrath 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 3. Dishonesty 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 4. Envy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 5. Fear 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 6. Gluttony 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 7. Greed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. Humility 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9. Irresponsibility 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10. Lust 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 11. Pride 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 12. Procrastination 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 13. Stinginess 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 14. Toughtlessness 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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As you know from reading the 12&12, our stubborn insistence to “never” allow a defect to be removed must, itself, be removed. If your willingness level for any item is not 1 or 2, you will want to repeat the exercise again later. We are certain that God will not remove from alcoholics the defects of character that we do not admit we have. Tis fact explains one of the reasons we must take Steps 4 and 5. We also know that God may remove our defects only to the extent that we are willing for them to be removed. Tat is why we take Step Six. He does not intrude upon our private desires to cohabit with the trash in the garbage can. Humility? Are you Humble? Place a check mark next to each of the statements in the form which identifes your level of Humility? Describe your level of Humility __ I am so low, I cohabit with worms. __ I deserve contempt and condemnation. __ I am worthless. __ I am flled with guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing. __ I feel like being totally honest. __ I have little interest in impressing others. __ I have nothing to hide from God. __ I am coming to really know who I am. Even though the dictionary says that Humility describes one of lower status, that is not the spiritual signifcance of Humility. Terefore, the frst four statements above describe humiliation, not Humility. Te root is “hum,” the same root as in humus and humor. For us, Humility means “down to earth.” Humility means honest, real, and without phoniness. Our role model, Mother Teresa had it right when she said, “If you are truly Humble, nothing can touch you, neither disgrace nor praise, because you know who you are.” So, we enter into Step Seven with honesty, willing to stand naked, so to speak, before God, hiding nothing, and with no hidden motives.

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More about God In Step Seven, we ask God to do something – to remove our shortcomings. But not all conceptions of a Higher Power are likely to improve us. Some of the Higher Powers we have encountered are a tree, a moving van, a rock, the classic light bulb, and even the AA Group itself, which is suggested as a last resort starting point in AA literature. Amongst these, the only possible candidate for removing shortcomings might be the AA Group. However, we think it is not prudent to go through your defects catalogue before your Group. You would be exposing yourself unnecessarily. You would get confused and incompatible reactions from them. At best, the Group, or even your Sponsor, might give you some insight into the nature of your wrongs and some remedial possibilities. So, you might as well bite the bullet and open yourself up to the spiritual source, which we might as well call “God” for communication purposes. Here is an opportunity for you to identify further your own conception of God. Tis is not completely a true-false exercise. Some of your responses might require some contemplation. Tinking deeply on these questions is the beneft of doing it. Your Own Conception of God What is the name of your Higher Power? Where is your Higher Power located? What is the primary location of your Higher Power at the time you are meditating or praying? Do you pray in a special posture? A special place? Why? Is your motive underlying the Prayer as important as the thoughts and words of the Prayer itself? Should your message be specifc and precise, or is it OK to be vague in your requests to your Higher Power? Place a checkmark next to the defects which God is likely to remove? __ Defects of which you are not aware. __ Defects that stand in the way of your usefulness to God. __ Defects that stand in the way of your usefulness to others. __ Defects that annoy you. __ Defects that interfere with your happiness.

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Once you have asked your Higher Power to remove your defects (shortcomings), will they be gone? Does your Higher Power reward you when you comply with His will? Does your Higher Power punish you when you do not comply with His will? Is it necessary for you to attend or be a member of a church? It is important to note that we ask only for the removal of defects of character which stand in the way of our usefulness to God and our fellows. What about the ones that are painful to us? We do not hand a list to God of our understanding and demand that the defects we choose be removed. In the Seventh Step we give up our judgements - of others and of ourselves, but more importantly we give up our right to decide what we deserve or do not deserve – remember what brought us to this place.

We should never pray for what we deserve - most of us would not survive receiving it.

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Inventory Summary

Use this list as a quick review of the process outlined in this booklet. Use Your Sponsor • If your Sponsor wants to do anything diﬀerently, go with your Sponsor’s direction! Your Sponsor knows you as an individual. Your Sponsor may have tools not included in this booklet. Steps One, Two and Three

DR. BOB’S REVIEW • Get a notebook and writing gear. • Set a committed schedule (time, day, hours per week, etc.) and then stick to it. Discuss your time commitment with your Sponsor. • Write your personal information on Page 1. Step Four

SESSION WORK • Commit to your Sponsors how much time you will spend working your inventory. Daily, Weekly or however much time you will actually devote to writing your Inventory. Minimum. • Pray before you begin each session - get quiet and do whatever your personal spiritual practice suggests. • Pages two and three are the frst two-page spread. Draw a line down the right page approximately in the middle. • Begin on the left side of the left page margin line to serve as Column One and begin to write names - people, places, institutions, principles, etc. If it comes to mind, write it down. Even if you covered something on a previous Inventory - if it comes up write it down!

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• Write a name, skip a line, write a name, skip a line - no matter how dramatic or complex you feel that entry to be. • Always work down, not across. • When you cannot think of a name to add to Column One for 20 minutes, begin Column Two. • Column Two will have why this name is on your list. Do not use more than 19 words. If you think of a new name for inclusion on your list in Column One while doing Column Two, write it at the end of your current list of names. • When you have completed the list of names with entries in Column Two, go to Column Tree. • Go down the list and read Column One, the item in Column Two related to Column One, and write down in Column Tree what this affected. Describe what it affected in your own words - the Seven Deadly Sins or other list. Tese must mean something to you, personally. • Hold Column Four until you sit down with your Sponsor for Step Five. • On a new page, list your assets the same way you listed the names in the previous section of the Inventory. • When you can look at the list for ten minutes and not come up with another asset, start the second column of how you have used, or abused, that gift. Keep the entries in this column to a maximum of 19 words. Step Five • Let your Sponsor (or the other person with whom you are doing a Fifth Step) set the time, location and conditions of your Fifth Step. You may want to have soda, water or coffee available, and you may want to plan on sharing a meal if the Fifth will take a long time. Your Fifth Step may require more than one session, but usually the full Fifth can be done in a single face-to-face session. • Pray before you begin your Fifth, or whatever your spiritual practice requires.

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• As you and your Sponsor discuss the frst three columns, write into Column Four exactly what your part was in the item under discussion. • You may want a 2nd page to write a list of recurring defects that come up during your Fifth Step. You may need to keep yet another page available to list items that will be required for your Eighth Step - the things for which you must make amends. • Listen to your Sponsor - a Sponsor’s experience will be your strongest guide as to how you can deal with your own history. • When your have completed Column Four, discuss what the results will mean for your Recovery - what you have learned. • End your Fifth Step with a Prayer or Meditation before you leave to do the frst hour of your Sixth Step. Step Six • Review your Fifth Step, particularly Column Four, and spend a quiet hour meditating on what you have learned about yourself. • Consider the benefts you get from the defects, shortcomings and the abuse of assets you have identifed in your Inventory. Are you willing to surrender those manipulated benefts and have your Higher Power be in charge of your life and rewards? Are you willing to simply do what you are supposed to do without satisfaction of your desires, damage to others or as part of your selfsh behaviors? Step Seven • Pray the full 3rd and 7th Step Prayers, with the personal words necessary for you to truly believe your Prayer. If your belief has other practices or rituals to serve this purpose, do those. • Remember this is not a one time action, so continue to look for your own selfshness, defects, shortcomings or abuse of your gifts and remain willing to surrender those actions.

Continue Your Inventory as Needed.

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sober.org

Steps Eight and Nine

Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine -Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. It is time now to clear away the wreckage of our past. We do this by making amends and restitution. Restitution is defned as “the giving back of something that was taken away.” Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. For Step Eight, we'll give you a guide in order for you to have one last opportunity to be certain that all has been uncovered. Please complete the guide on your own as soon as possible. Now, please take out your Inventory forms, as they are the heart of our Eighth Step amends list. But we also need to ask God to reveal to us any others we have harmed but who are not yet on our list. We'll add their names now as we move on to Step Nine. As part of our eﬀort to be thorough, we must defne the word “amend,” and according to dictionary.com, we fnd:

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a·mend [uh-mend] –verb (used with object) 1. to alter, modify, rephrase, or add to or subtract from (a motion, bill, constitution, etc.) by formal procedure: Congress may amend the proposed tax bill. 2. to change for the better; improve: to amend one's ways. 3. to remove or correct faults in; rectify. –verb (used without object) 4. to grow or become better by reforming oneself: He amends day by day. Focus on Others We can see that our purpose is not just to relieve ourselves of the guilt and shame from the eﬀects of our past actions, but we are to “alter,” “repair,” “to change for the better; improve,” “to correct faults in; rectify” and “become better.” Moving into our Ninth Step amends we step from the self-absorption of the frst eight steps to the real world. To this point I admitted, I came to believe, I did an Inventory, I shared it, I became willing, I asked to have my defects removed, and I made the list of my harms while active in my alcoholism. But in Step Nine our goal is to heal the damage we have done. We hurt real people; I did not just hurt “my mother.” Before she ever had me she was a woman with a life and goals and hopes, and I hurt that woman. Tat real woman. Now I review my list and come to see these people as independent from me. What do I do to make it better, to improve, to repair, to set right, the real damage I did to these real people. How do I do this without making it more about “me?” Some people coming into AA are told they do not have to do amends if it will be diﬃcult, embarrassing, or expensive. Many people follow that direction and, since they have not done the work required by the Step, soon fnd themselves drunk again – and very surprised.

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“Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to fnd a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences might be.” Page 79 To do Te Work means to Do Te Work! Not to come up with reasons why the one attempting to achieve lasting sobriety is different and can explain their way out of doing that work. In the Ninth Step, we focus on the one we have hurt. Sometimes this means that we have to pay money, lose the reputation we had built by hiding the truth, or even serve time in prison to make amends for a real crime. But we become free, without the guilt, shame, and doom that comes from continuing our life hiding the truth. We can walk down the street without fear of being exposed, face the people we meet, and know that we have done what was in our power to right our wrongs. More Action Te amends process is explained as the Big Book tells us what to do next: “...Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember, it was agreed at the beginning that we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.” Page 88, 89 Te Big Book divides the amends that we need to make into fve types. We'll list each of the amends that you need to make according to the type. Ten, before approaching anyone, reread the advice offered by the Big Book regarding each type. Also, seek counsel from your Sponsor, spiritual advisor, or another member of the group that’s gone through the amends process. Finally, pray each morning regarding all the items listed. Now, label each with a plus (+) or a minus (-), depending on your willingness to make the amends — a plus indicating immediate readiness and the minus noting the ones you feel more hesitant about. Review • Whom did I hurt? • What did I do? • Where was I at fault?

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• Where had I been selfsh, dishonest, or inconsiderate? • Did I arouse: Jealousy? Suspicion? Bitterness? • What Should I have done differently? Step Eight: Types of Amends Amend type (a) — People We Hate / Resent • It may be some have done us more harm than we have done them. • With a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. • It is harder to go to an enemy than a friend, but the beneft is greater. • Go in a helpful, forgiving spirit. • Do not criticize or argue. • We are there to sweep off OUR side of the street. • Nothing can be accomplished until we do so. • Discuss your faults, not his or hers. • Be calm, frank, open. • It doesn't matter if they accept the apology or throw us out of the office. We've done our part. Now transfer the names from your resentment and other lists, except for family members. Add any other names that have come to you that you have harmed or owe amends. Write your list. Amend type (b) — The People / Institutions / Owed Money Most alcoholics owe money. • We don't dodge anyone. • In some cases, some of us had to disclose our alcoholism by way of explaining what drove us and what we are now trying to do. • We do not try to beat anyone out of anything, but we arrange a deal that we can live up to. Arranging time payments has worked for many of us.

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• Let them know you're sorry. • Drinking made us slow to pay. • If we fear facing our creditors, we often drink. Write your list. Amend type (c) — Incidents of criminal offense • Some of us padded expense accounts, fell behind on child support, wrote bad checks, and committed other oﬀenses of the law. • We remind ourselves that we must be willing to go to any lengths to correct these mistakes if we are to stay sober. • We don't have the power to do this. • We ask God for strength and direction. • We don't worry about the consequences. We know God will protect us if we try to do the right thing for a change. • We may lose position or reputation, though most of us have experienced that already. • We are willing anyway. • We must not shrink at anything. Write your list. Amend Type (d) — Incidents of Domestic Trouble • We may have committed adultery. • After years with a drunk, spouses get worn out, resentful, and uncommunicative. • We begin to feel self-pity . • So we look around for another, feeling justifed, when WE were really the source of the problem in the frst place. • Sometimes that leads to feelings of guilt. • We have to do something about this.

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• If the spouse does not know, we do not always say it is best to tell. • If she knows something, we admit our fault. • We have no right to name the others involved. Write your list. Keep in mind we are dealing with the most horrible human emotion: jealousy. • Don't risk more combat over this. • Some think just being sober in the home now is enough. It isn't. • We have treated spouses and family in a shocking way. • We have been like a tornado. • We broke hearts and uprooted aﬀection, and our selfshness kept the home in turmoil. • Just saying we are sorry will not do. • We sit with the family and analyze the past, not criticizing any of them. • Yes, they may have defects, but many of them were inspired by our behaviors. • We pray each morning for God to show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love. Amend Type (e) — Wrongs We Can Never Fully Right Be very careful about listing anyone or anything here. We only list someone here if we can HONESTLY say that the wrong cannot be righted, usually when to do so would further injure them or another person. We are willing (or pray for the willingness to become willing) to make the amend if we can. • If the case is that they cannot be seen, we write them an honest letter. • We don't delay if it can be avoided. • We do not have to be scraping, but we do have to be sensible, tactful, considerate, and Humble. Discuss the circumstances surrounding the amends with your Sponsor or the meeting facilitator before you list anyone here.

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Caution Where Others Are Concerned Sometimes others are involved (spouses, children, other family members). We don't sacrifce them to save ourselves. Before taking drastic action that might aﬀect another we get their consent, we consult others, and we ask God to help. If the drastic step is still indicated, we move ahead. Tis guide may be copied and distributed freely so long as the content is not altered and the price, except for photocopying fees if desired, is not charged.

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sober.org

Step Nine - Doing It!

Reading for Step Nine Our experience with Step Nine prompts us to emphasize four ideas about this step. Token amends will not do! Just what is an amend? Here is what our trusty dictionary said: a-mend :(uh mend') v. v.t. 1. to change for the better; improve. 2. to remove or correct faults in; rectify. 3. to grow or become better by reforming oneself. Later in this document you will see an extraction of words and phrases that the authors of the Big Book used to describe what they meant by the word amend. Teir true meaning, while including the defnition above, is more like the synonyms for the word, “rectify:” rectify : v. 1. right, set right, put right, make right, correct, adjust, regulate, straighten, square; focus, attune; mend, amend, emend, fx, repair, revise; remedy, redress, cure, reform. One might even use the defnition of the word, "repair,” to express their meaning: re-pair :[1] (ri pâr') -paired, -pair-ing . v.t. 1. to restore to a good or sound condition after decay or damage; mend. 2. to restore or renew. 3. to remedy; make up for; compensate for.

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Extracted words and phrases as examples of "amends:” BB = the Big Book of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous 12&12 = Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Self-Correction ...sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our eﬀort to live on self- will. [BB, page 76, line 22] ...demonstration of good will [BB, page 77] ...sweep oﬀ our side of the street [BB, page 77] ...sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it. [BB, page 83,] ...We clean house with the family. [BB, page 83] ...asking each morning in Meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. [BB, page 83] ...Te spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it... [BB, page 83] ...Our behavior will convince them more than our words. [BB, page 83] ...Tere may be some wrongs we can never fully right. [BB, page 83] ...Some people cannot be seen—we send them an honest letter. [BB, page 83] ...We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and Humble without being servile or scraping. [BB, page 83] Restitution ...repair the damage [we have] done in the past [BB, page 76] ...set right the wrong [BB, page 77, line] ...straighten out the past [BB, page 77] ...arranging the best deal... [of repayment] ... we can [BB, page 78] ...reparations [BB, page 79] ...sent...money [BB, page 79]

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...willing to go to jail [BB, page 79] ...make a public statement [BB, page 80] ... [make]...good to the wife or parents [BB, page 82] ...reconstruction [BB, page 83] Apology ...confessing our former ill feeling [BB, page 77] ...expressing our regret [BB, page 77] ...we let these people know we are sorry [BB, page 78] ...admitting faults [BB, page 79] ...admit our faults [BB, page 81] ...asking forgiveness [BB, page 79] ...A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won't fll the bill at all. [BB, page 83] Don't rush into amends without guidance. You can mess up yourself and others unless the best judgment is used. When we are new to sobriety, our judgment is often not so swift. Please read again the words we offered for Step Eight, which is the planning of your amendment step. Your amends must never harm others. Both of the books make clear that we cannot seek atonement at the expense of others. Be especially careful not to implicate or injure other people in your wrong-doing. Don't forget to take the hidden step – forgiveness. You will recall that in Step Four you listed the people who had harmed you as part of your resentment matrix. None of the steps emphasizes sufficiently that the ultimate process of resentment eradication (and they must be wiped out) is forgiveness of those we resent. If you have not yet cleaned up your resentments, fnish them off in Step Nine. It then becomes the double-edged sword that cuts you free from all harms done by you and to you. However, there is a difference between being forgiven and forgiving. Our amends to those we have harmed are made at our own initiative and directly to the person harmed, whenever possible. On the other hand, when we are forgiving

– 176 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition others, it is rarely appropriate to approach them to let them know they are forgiven. Why? Tey might have no idea that we have resented them. After all, the resentment is ours. Letting them in on our problem cannot do them any good, and may cause them considerable hurt feelings or aggravation – even anger. We have been learning not to play God and to avoid Ego-serving activities. Approaching others to let them know they are forgiven would usually be thought of as self-serving. Tis we avoid. If, on the other hand, the injuring party has let us know that they feel guilt about what they have done, it can often be a true act of kindness to let them know they are oﬀ the hook as far as we are concerned. We do this with true Humility and compassion. We never give the impression that they owe us something for our act of forgiveness. We then try to treat them the way we want others to forgive us for our own wrongs. Some of our members believe that the other side of the forgiveness coin, that we are forgiven for our transgressions, is a necessary goal of Step Nine. Tere is no need at all that we be forgiven by the person we have harmed after we make an amend. If they choose to tell us we are forgiven, that is a fne gesture – one we might cherish. However, the real goal here is that you cease to know guilt stemming from your prior acts or omissions. Te removal of guilt is the exclusive domain of your spiritual power. On your way. Your Step Nine can last from several weeks to many years. Start it when you have fnished Step Eight and are told to do so. Continue until you are done. Promises of Step Nine Here are the 20 promises starting at the bottom of page 83 in the Big Book. Some people think these are the only promises the Big Book makes. Little do they realize that each step has a set of promises, and that there are many more besides. Tere are even a few guarantees. Drop us a line if you have found the 173 promises and guarantees in the Big Book that we have found. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, • We will be amazed before we are half way through. • We are going to know a new freedom

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• And a new happiness. • We will not regret the past • Nor wish to shut the door on it. • We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. • No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can beneft others. • Tat feeling of uselessness (will disappear). • And self-pity will disappear. • We will lose interest in selfsh things and (we will) gain interest in our fellows. • Self-seeking will slip away. • Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. • Fear of people (will leave us) and • (Fear) of economic insecurity will leave us. • We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baﬄe us. • We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. • Are these extravagant promises? We think not. Tey are being fulflled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. • Tey will always materialize if we work for them. Writing: It would be a good idea to update your amendment plan (Step Eight) when each amendment is done. Check it oﬀ. Make a note as to their reaction. If an agreement was reached concerning further action on your part, write it down. We even know one Sponsor who keeps Step Eight lists of his Step partners on a computer (on an encrypted fle for total privacy). Every month or so, the list is made current.

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sober.org

Forgiveness – The Missing Step

Tis is a discussion of forgiveness. First, we point out, as if you didn’t already know, that alcoholics tend to feel victimized by people, places, things, and the cosmos in general. As if this were not enough, we alcoholics also carry a grudge about what has been done to us or not done for us. In the paragraphs that follow, we explore the implications of carrying resentments around with us. If we cannot get rid of our resentments any other way, we are sometimes faced with the ultimate resentment eradication tool forgiveness– we forgive those whom we resent. Te nature of forgiveness is investigated, and fnally, techniques to achieve forgiveness are presented. Our discussion of forgiveness is elaborated upon through links to four additional pages below. It is best, we think, that they be viewed in the order listed. Alcoholics are Resentment–Prone Most alcoholics have a deep (almost pathological) sense of justice. If we are wronged (meaning often that we did not get what we wanted) or if we even conjure up the notion that we might have been wronged, we fnd full justifcation to express anger or harbor resentment. It then seems almost a duty to carry a justifed resentment. Otherwise, those who have wronged us would get off scot- free. And that wouldn't be right, would it? So, we waste our God-given lives judging and punishing our fellows. Relinquishing a justifed resentment is one of the most difficult experiences known to the alcoholic. If you explore the origins of the word resentment in our dictionary your will fnd: Resent has also been used in other senses that seem strange to us, such as “to feel pain” or “to perceive by smell.” Te thread that ties the senses together is the notion of feeling or perceiving. Again. For the alcoholic, resentment is a reliving of the offense that injured us in the frst place. Tink about it. We perceive that we are punishing that person for

– 179 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition their wrong, when in fact, we are simply willing ourselves to feel the hurt again, and again, and again. Get the point? Resenting makes no more sense than our drinking did. Something is twisted in brainsville, we think. Methods of Resentment Removal How are resentments removed? Here are the customary methods and they are presented in increasing order of diﬃculty (to the alcoholic, that is):

NEGLECT Yes, benign neglect removes most of our thoughts of the day. We simply forget about things that are not important to us. As we grow in our sobriety we are less interested in harboring resentments and they follow a natural order of elimination, unless they are captured by our perverse habits.

REFLECTION If we are aware of our resentment and, if we wish to get rid of it, we are wise to think about it. Did we really hear what the other person said? Did they really say what they meant? Was what we heard just a rumor? Does the offending action ft a pattern, or might it have been a fuke? Was the offender in distress? Are we giving this person the beneft of the doubt? If not, why are we better off carrying resentment?

INVESTIGATION Maybe we need more substantiation or facts? Is there independent verifcation of what happened? Have we mentioned to the perceived oﬀending person that we are taken aback by their action and we would like to see if we understood correctly? Do the facts substantiate that we were really harmed on purpose? If not, why not just drop the whole thing?

BENEFIT/COST ANALYSIS If there was a real oﬀense, especially an intentional one, what is the beneft to us of carrying a resentment? Should it be a big resentment? What should be its ranking among the other justifed resentments we already have? Will its insertion into our resentment Inventory mean we should discard a resentment of lesser injury? How long should we carry this resentment? Does it justify vengeance? Are we willing to suﬀer loss of friendship, destruction of property, expense, arrest, or social disfavor as a consequence of being judge, jury, and executioner? Would it simply be nicer to be rid of the resentment?

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FORGIVENESS Yes, it is possible to be rid of residual resentments through forgiveness. Te reference links below will describe how this can be done. Here are a few pointers though:

ANONYMITY Te person you resent need not know of your resentment. In fact, it is much better and simpler if they do not know. A grudge nurtured in secret is much sweeter anyway.

PRIVACY Unless the person whom you resent has asked for your forgiveness or, if you are absolutely certain that they will cherish your forgiveness, you should keep your forgiving private. It can be a gross form of arrogance to approach another person in order to tell them that they are forgiven. Usually, they will have no idea of having committed an oﬀense and they will wonder who the dickens you think you are forgiving them – God, perhaps?

FINALITY Once you have forgiven another person the act is fnal. It need never be repeated nor should you permit the resentment to recur.

Of course, there is the old standby – Prayer. After the discussion of each step in the Big Book, a number of methods to alleviate or remove problems are set forth. Te persistent and fundamental tool "suggested" to us is Prayer. Prayer should have been in the list above, but we didn't know how to rank it in order of difficulty. For some of us, Prayer is the easy and natural tool for straightening out our lives. For others, it is an alien, even hostile, prospect. Whatever one's feeling about Prayer might be, there should be steady effort to make it a primary ingredient in our consciousness. What is Forgiveness for-give (fuhr giv') v. <-gave, -giv-en, -giv-ing> 1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, sin, etc.); absolve.

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2. to cancel or remit (a debt, obligation, etc.): to forgive the interest owed on a loan. 3. to grant pardon to (a person). 4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies. 5. to pardon an offense or an offender. Who is the Keeper of Our Wrongs Tere may be a bit of our personal theology here. If yours is different, please don't be offended. You might just be right. When we commit an offense (or fail to fulfll an obligation), the wrong is recorded. Te party(s) we have offended, if any, might keep score – most people do. We also add to the bag of guilt, shame, remorse, and self-loathing that we haul around with us. But the real recorder has been built into the system of the universe by its Creator. It is automatic and inevitable that all wrongs are recorded and the one and only thing that can remove them is amendment (correction or repair) of the wrong. Period. In the East, they call this system Karma. In metaphysics, they might call it the Akasha. Whatever it is called and wherever it is located (most likely within us), it works, and it always works without fail. Objectives of Forgiveness Just who is being forgiven, and by whom? Forgiving others If an act of courtesy on our part will help others feel better about themselves, then perhaps we should let them know we have no negative feelings about their actions. But we should never believe that we can, in fact, interfere in their being forgiven in accordance with God's plan for them. Our beliefs and actions are not part of that plan. Being forgiven by others Te same logic applies as with forgiving others. Cosmetic forgiveness between humans can be a compassionate act. However, genuine forgiveness is a very personal matter.

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Being forgiven by God God does not keep records nor does He carry grudges. Te universal system of justice He has created takes care of correction and forgiveness automatically. He does not intervene. He simply loves us all the time. Forgiving ourselves Just as humans cannot truly forgive each other, self-forgiveness is not possible, either. However, there is more to be said here. We assuredly agree that many, if not most, alcoholics know guilt, shame, remorse, and self-loathing to excess. We MUST be rid of these before we can truly see the perfection of the Creator within ourselves as we are intended to do. We must also be enabled to look into the mirror and smile at the creature emerging from the slime of self- centered assertion into the service of the Father through his fellows. Knowing that we are forgiven is a requirement for the sober life. Te frst thing to do is to clear away the false crimes of which we have convicted ourselves. A solid Step Five will produce a list of our defects of character and a preliminary list of persons we have harmed. If we feel bad about ourselves for anything not on these lists, the lists are either incomplete or we are caught up in the defect of senseless self-condemnation. Feeling bad about oneself, which might have been justifed when we were doing our damage, is often an emotional hangover that needs to be discarded. You can create a self- respect (not pride) list. It might be next to the mirror and it might say, "I have cause to respect myself today because I have ... (list of good deeds, steps taken, persons helped, Prayers, etc.).” But, be sure never to put yourself on your Step Eight list. Te second thing to do is to take Step Nine (after completing Step One through Step Eight with your Sponsor, of course). Why? Because an amend is the only means of gaining forgiveness. Our “Right” to Forgive We feel that when a wrong is committed there is an immediate creation of a record of the act. Tis record cannot be prevented NOR can it be eradicated through forgiveness. Te injured party cannot remove the record, and God will not do so either, because He created the system of records in the frst place. It works just fne for Him.

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So, how are you and others absolved from your wrongs? You guessed it. Step Nine. Amendment (repair/correction) of the offense removes the record automatically. Forgiveness plays no part whatsoever in absolution. Why all this talk about forgiveness then? Te fact is that we are not forgiving offenses against ourselves by removing the need for amendment on the part of the offender. Tat we cannot do. Only amendment can do that. Our act of forgiving is to clean out ourselves. Tat's right. We remove from ourselves the curse we have imposed upon ourselves to punish the offender. Our forgiveness absolves not their act but removes our own personal reaction to it. Wow, what a concept! It is not their karma we correct, but our own! Here are some additional sources we have found genuinely helpful. You might notice that some of them don't agree completely with what we have said. Tat doesn't make them, or us, wrong. It does make it necessary for you to dwell deeply upon your own convictions.

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sober.org

The Big Book on Forgiveness

Our Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) has a great deal to say about resentments and forgiveness. Enjoy. Harboring Resentments is Fatal We are reluctant to repeat the book. However, some of the points it makes cannot be left without comment: If we were to read page 66 again, we would note the power of resentment far exceeds any conception we had of negative thinking. Were you aware that: ...a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. Te hours in which we allow futility and unhappiness in our lives are not worthwhile. Resentments waste our lives. Resentments shut us oﬀ from the sunlight of the Spirit, thereby preventing the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience. When shadowed from the sunlight of the Spirit, the insanity of alcohol returns, we drink again, and we die. Harboring of resentments is fatal. Yet, freeing ourselves of resentment must be done! Tere is striking evidence that resentment creates a physical poison in our bodies in addition to the mental and spiritual maladies it feeds. Eradicating Resentments How do we rid ourselves of resentments? Hopefully, this process began in Step Four. Our list holds the key. Note the message of the column headings in our Inventory: Column #1) Who do you hold a grudge against? Column #2) What did they do that you found offensive?

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Column #3) How did you contribute to their action? and Column #4) Why did you react with a resentment? Te frst lesson is that resentments cannot be cleared up until we know we have them and why. Te second lesson is that we have made ourselves vulnerable to the outside world to an extraordinary extent. Our entire self-concept has been molded by the opinions and actions of others, and our old thinking as to what we ought to be and were. Next, it is necessary to be willing to let go of the resentment. You will learn more about this in Step Six. Moreover (and the Big Book doesn't give as much help here as it might), we must forgive the person we resent. Tere will be more discussion of forgiving others in Step Eight. Just accept right now that you are going to have to do it! Tere is no other course. Te ultimate key given you in the Big Book is the oft repeated notion that your life is now on a diﬀerent basis. A basis is a foundation – that upon which all the rest stands. Your new basis is trusting and relying upon God. The Art of Forgiveness Reprinted from the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) and the 12&12 We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfsh, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Tough a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? Te Inventory was ours, not the other man's. Page 67, line 11 If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. Tese are facts out of our experience. Page 70, line 8 Te question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he had done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit

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in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we fnd it much more benefcial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Page 77, line 18 When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfsh, dishonest, or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid refections, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Page 86, line 5 Step Five “Tis vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done. Often it was while working on this Step with our Sponsors or spiritual advisers that we frst felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral Inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.” 12 & 12, page 57 “Tese obstacles, however, are very real. Te frst, and one of the most diﬃcult, has to do with forgiveness. Te moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Tis is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. “Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn't make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our

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behavior when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn't think much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow suﬀerers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?” 12 & 12, page 78 Step Eight We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of admitting the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We should avoid extreme judgments, both of ourselves and of others involved. We must not exaggerate our defects or theirs. A quiet, objective view will be our steadfast aim. 12 & 12, page 81] In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest analysis of what is involved, a willingness to admit when the fault is ours, and an equal willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. 12 & 12, page 9l ...that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness 12 & 12, page 99 ... It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. 12 & 12, page 99 Ten he asked for the grace to bring love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy to every human being he could. 12 & 12, page 101 He thought it better to give comfort than to receive it; better to understand than to be understood; better to forgive than to be forgiven. 12 & 12, page 101 At last, acceptance proved to be the key to my drinking problem. After I had been around AA for seven months, tapering oﬀ alcohol and pills, not fnding the program working very well, I was fnally able to say, "Okay, God. It is true that I–of all people, strange as it may seem, and even though I didn't give my permission–really, really am an alcoholic of sorts. And it's all right with me. Now, what am I going to do about it?" When I stopped living in the problem

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and began living in the answer, the problem went away. From that moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to drink. And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I fnd some person, place, thing, or situation--some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can fnd no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, 1 could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. . Page 448 One morning, however, I realized I had to get rid of (my resentment), for my reprieve was running out, and if I didn't get rid of it I was going to get drunk--and I didn't want to get drunk any more. In my Prayers that morning I asked God to point out to me some way to be free of this resentment. During the day a friend of mine brought me some magazines to take to a hospital group I was interested in, and I looked through them and a "banner" across the front of one featured an article by a prominent clergyman in which I caught the word resentment He said, in eﬀect: "If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in Prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your Prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will fnd you have come to mean it and to want it for them and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love." It worked for me then, and it has worked for me many times since, and it will work for me every time I am willing to work it. Sometimes I have to ask frst for the willingness, but it too always comes. Because it works for me, it will work for all of us. As another great man says, "Te only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it."

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Tis great experience that released me from the bondage of hatred and replaced it with love is really just another aﬃrmation of the truth I know: I get everything I need in Alcoholics Anonymous everything I need I get--and when I get what I need I invariably fnd that it was just what I wanted all the time. Page 552

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Forgiveness

REPRINTED FROM THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT, BY EMMET FOX “Forgive Us Our Trespasses, as We Forgive Them that Trespass Against Us” Tis clause is the turning point of the Prayer. It is the strategic key to the whole Recovery. Let us notice here that Jesus has so arranged this marvelous Prayer that it covers the entire ground of the enfoldment of our souls completely, and in the most concise and telling way. It omits nothing that is essential for our salvation, and yet, so compact is it that there is not a thought or a word too much. Every idea fts into its place with perfect harmony and in perfect sequence. Anything more would be redundant; anything less would be incompleteness, and at this point, it takes up the critical factor of forgiveness. Having told us what God is, what man is, how the universe works, how we are to do our own work (the salvation of humanity and of our own souls), he then explains what our true nourishment or supply is, and the way in which we can obtain it. Now, he comes to the forgiveness of sins. Te forgiveness of sins is the central problem of life. Sin is a sense of separation from God and is the major tragedy of human experience. It is, of course, rooted in selfshness. It is essentially an attempt to gain some supposed good to which we are not entitled in justice. It is a sense of isolated, self- regarding, personal existence, whereas the Truth of Being is that all are One. Our true selves are at one with God, undivided from Him, expressing His ideas, witnessing to His nature – the dynamic Tinking of that Mind. Because we are all one with the great Whole of which we are spiritually a part, it follows that we are one with all men. Just because in Him we live and move and have our being, we are, in the absolute sense, all essentially one. Evil, sin, the fall of man, in fact, are essentially the attempt to negate this Truth in our thoughts. We try to live apart from God. We try to do without

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Him. We act as though we had a life of our own, as separate minds, as though we could have plans, purposes, and interests separate from His. All this, if it were true, would mean that existence is not one and harmonious, but a chaos of competition and strife. It would mean that we are quite separate from our fellow man and could injure him, rob him, or hurt him, or even destroy him, without any damage to ourselves. In fact, the more we took from other people the more we should have for ourselves. It would mean that the more we considered our own interests, and the more indifferent we were to the welfare of others, the better off we should be. Of course it would then follow naturally that it would pay others to treat us in the same way, and that accordingly we might expect many of them to do so. Now if this were true, it would mean that the whole universe is only a jungle; that sooner or later it must destroy itself by its own inherent weakness and anarchy. But, of course, it is not true and therein lays the joy of life. Undoubtedly, many people do act as though they believed it to be true, and a great many more who would be dreadfully shocked if brought face to face with that proposition in cold blood, have nevertheless, a vague feeling that such must be very much the way things are even though they, themselves, are personally above consciously acting in accordance with such a notion. Now, this is the real basis of sin, of resentment, of condemnation, of jealousy, of remorse, and all the evil brood that walk that path. Tis belief in independent and separate existence is the arch sin, and now, before we can progress any further, we have to take the knife to this evil thing and cut it out once and for all. Jesus knew this, and with this defnite end in view, he inserted at this critical point a carefully prepared statement that would encompass our end and his, without the shadow of a possibility of miscarrying. He inserted what is nothing less than a trip clause. He drafted a declaration that would force us, without any conceivable possibility of escape, evasion, mental reservation, or subterfuge of any kind, to execute the great sacrament of forgiveness in all its fullness and far-reaching power. As we repeat the Great Prayer intelligently, considering and meaning what we say, we are suddenly, so to speak, caught up off our feet and grasped as though in a vise, so that we must face this problem – and there is no escape. We must positively and defnitely extend forgiveness to everyone to whom it is possible that we can owe forgiveness, namely, to anyone that we think can have

– 192 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition injured us in any way. Jesus leaves no room for any possible glossing of this fundamental thing. He has constructed his Prayer with more skill than ever yet lawyer displayed in the casting of a deed. He has so contrived it that once our attention has been drawn to this matter, we are inevitably obliged either to forgive our enemies in sincerity and truth, or never again to repeat that Prayer. It is safe to say that no one who reads this booklet with understanding will ever again be able to use the Lord's Prayer unless and until he has forgiven. Should you now attempt to repeat it without forgiving, it can safely be predicted that you will not be able to fnish it. Tis great central clause will stick in your throat. Notice that Jesus does not say, "forgive me my trespasses and I will try to forgive others," or "I will see if it can be done," or "I will forgive generally, with certain exceptions." He obliges us to declare that we have actually forgiven, and forgiven all; and he makes our claim to our own forgiveness to depend upon that. Who is there that has grace enough to say his Prayers at all, who does not long for the forgiveness or cancellation of his own mistakes and faults? Who would be so insane as to endeavor to seek the Kingdom of God without desiring to be relieved of his own sense of guilt? No one, we may believe. So, we see that we are trapped in the inescapable position that we cannot demand our own release before we have released our brother. Te forgiveness of others is the vestibule of Heaven, and Jesus knew it, and has led us to the door. You must forgive everyone who has ever hurt you if you want to be forgiven yourself; that is the long and the short of it. You have to get rid of all resentment and condemnation of others, and not least, of self- condemnation and remorse. You have to forgive others and, having discontinued your own mistakes, you have to accept the forgiveness of God for them too, or you cannot make any progress. You have to forgive yourself, but you cannot forgive yourself sincerely until you have forgiven others frst. Having forgiven others, you must be prepared to forgive yourself too. To refuse to forgive oneself is only spiritual pride. "And by that sin fell the angels." We cannot make this point too clear to ourselves; we have got to forgive. Tere are few people in the world who have not at some time or another been hurt, really hurt, by someone else, or been disappointed, or injured, or deceived, or misled. Such things sink into the memory where they usually cause infamed and festering wounds, and there is only one remedy – they have to be plucked out and thrown away. Te one and only way to do that is by forgiveness.

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Of course, nothing in the entire world is easier than to forgive than people who have not hurt us very much. Nothing is easier than to rise above than the thought of a trifing loss. Anybody will be willing to do this but what the Law of Being requires of us is that we forgive not only these trifes, but also the very things that are so hard to forgive that at frst it seems impossible to do it at all. Te despairing heart cries, "It is too much to ask. Tat thing meant too much to me. It is impossible. I cannot forgive it." But the Lord's Prayer makes our own forgiveness from God, which means our escape from guilt and limitation, dependent upon just this very thing. Tere is no escape from this, and so forgiveness there must be, no matter how deeply we may have been injured, or how terribly we have suffered. It must be done. If your Prayers are not being answered, search your consciousness and see if there is not someone whom you have yet to forgive. Find out if there is not some old thing about which you are very resentful. Search and see if you are not really holding a grudge (it may be camoufaged in some self-righteous way) against some individual, or some body of people, a nation, a race, a social class, some religious movement of which you disapprove perhaps, a political party, or what- not. If you are doing so, then you have an act of forgiveness to perform, and when this is done, you will probably take your action. If you cannot forgive at present, you will have to wait for your demonstration until you can. You will have to postpone fnishing your recital of the Lord's Prayer, as well, or involve yourself in the position that you do not desire the forgiveness of God. Setting others free means setting yourself free because resentment is really a form of attachment. It is a Cosmic Truth that it takes two to make a prisoner; the prisoner – and a jailer. Tere is no such thing as being a prisoner on one's own account. Every prisoner must have a jailer, and the jailer is as much a prisoner as his charge. When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing that you hate. Te one person perhaps in the whole world whom you most dislike is the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought. At some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to wreak further havoc. Do you think that you can afford this? Of course, no one can afford such a thing and so the way is clear.

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You must cut all such ties by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. Because the law of love works alike for one and all, you also help to save his soul, making it so much easier for him to become what he ought to be. But how, in the name of all that is wise and good, is the magic act of forgiveness to be accomplished, when we have been so deeply injured that, though we have long wished with all our hearts that we could forgive, we have nevertheless found it impossible; when we have tried and tried to forgive, but have found the task beyond us. Te technique of forgiveness is simple enough, and not very difficult to manage when you understand how. Te only thing that is essential is willingness to forgive. Provided you desire to forgive the offender, the greater part of the work is already done. People have always made such a misunderstanding of forgiveness because they have been under the erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to compel yourself to like him. Happily this is by no means the case – we are not called upon to like anyone whom we do not fnd ourselves liking spontaneously, and indeed, it is quite impossible to like people to order. You can no more like people to order than you can hold the winds in your fst. If you endeavor to coerce yourself into doing so, you will fnish by disliking or hating the offender more than ever. People used to think that when someone had hurt them very much, it was their duty, as good Christians, to pump up, as it were, a feeling of liking for him. Since such a thing is utterly impossible, they suffered a great deal of distress, and ended, necessarily, with failure and a resulting sense of sinfulness. We are not obliged to like anyone, but we are under a binding obligation to love everyone. Love, or charity as the Bible calls it, meaning a vivid sense of impersonal good will. Tis has nothing directly to do with the feelings. It is always followed, sooner or later, by a wonderful feeling of peace and happiness. Te method of forgiving is this: Get by yourself and become quiet. Repeat any Prayer or treatment that appeals to you, or read a chapter of the Bible. Ten quietly say, "I fully and freely forgive X (mentioning the name of the offender); I loose him and let him go. I completely forgive the whole business in question. “As far as I am concerned, it is fnished forever. I cast the burden of resentment upon the Christ within me. He is free now, and I am free too. I wish

– 195 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition him well in every phase of his life. Tat incident is fnished. Te Christ Truth has set us both free. I thank God." Ten get up and go about your business. On no account repeat this act of forgiveness, because you have done it once and for all, and to do it a second time would be tacitly to repudiate your own work. Afterward, whenever the memory of the offender or the offense happens to come into your mind, bless the delinquent briefy and dismiss the thought. Do this however many times the thought may come back. After a few days it will return less and less often, until you forget it altogether. Ten, perhaps after an interval, shorter or longer, the old trouble may come back to memory once more. You will fnd that now all bitterness and resentment have disappeared and you are both free with the perfect freedom of the children of God. Your forgiveness is complete. You will experience a wonderful joy in the realization of the demonstration. Everybody should practice general forgiveness every day as a matter of course. When you say your daily Prayers, issue a general amnesty, forgiving everyone who may have injured you in any way, and on no account particularize. Simply say: "I freely forgive everyone." Ten, in the course of the day, should the thought of grievance or resentment come up, bless the offender briefy, and dismiss the thought. Te result of this policy will be that very soon you will fnd yourself cleared of all resentment and condemnation and the effect upon your happiness, your bodily health, and your general life will be nothing less than revolutionary.

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Step Ten

“Continued to take personal Inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” Te last three steps are frequently called the “Maintenance” Steps. Tey are also summarized as “Body, Mind and Spirit.” Step Ten deals with the “Mind” part of the Body–Mind–Spirit of our daily life. Te Mind is supposed to monitor our daily life. Tis is where we ask ourselvse about our interactions with other people, monitor our own attitudes and behaviors. On a daily basis we exercise the Steps to show the new thinking and actions we have received in Recovery. Tis means we remain vigilant to keep our Recovery fresh and avoid falling back into old thinking and actions, to the beneft of ourselves and others. Admitting to being an alcholic is a foundation of truth where we must be aware of our tendency to be selfsh and self-serving, that our life is unmanageable when under our own brains. (Step One) Tere is a power, greater than ourselves that can return, or deliver, us to sanity. (Step Two) Every day we have the choice to surrender our own Ego and desire to the care and direction of God as we understand God. (Step Tree) We must track our actions, attitudes, resentments and eﬀects to make ourselves more benefcial to God and the people around us. Tis can be written down or simply observed – most people in Recovery do both. Tis is also called “Keeping Your Side of the Street Clean.” (Step Four) Running under the isolation and Ego of our own brain can be deadly, so we use our Sponsor and the small group of people in the fellowship to sound out our reactions, thinking and planned actions. Te refection we receive from the

– 197 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition people with whom we share will guide us into correcting our own thought and actions. (Step Five) We look at our willingness to surrender our defects, to give up the benefts we receive through those defects, and make ourselves willing to have those shortcomings removed, without reservation. (Step Six) Actively include in our daily Prayer and Meditations the desire to have our defects removed, knowing that we do not get to limit what parts of our personality or behaviors will be removed. We make the eﬀort to make oursevles Humble, not demanding. (Step Seven) We review our list of people we have harmed and see where names should be removed or added. We must be honest, neither avoiding responsibility for the results of our actions, nor infating our value to make us seem more important in the lives of others. (Step Eight) We review what actions we can take to correct the damage we may have caused, note our experience in previous corrections we have made, and then discuss such actions with our Sponsor and others before taking what we think would be actions to repair or make better what has appeared on our list. We do direct amends where possible, and indirect amends where we are unable to correct damage from our past behaviors. (Step Nine) Step Ten leads us through the frst Nine Steps like a well stocked toolbox to prevent new damage when possible and live a new life as a beneft to ourselves and the people around us.

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Step Eleven

“Sought, through Prayer and Meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” Prayer and Meditation are personal actions that refect your understanding of your Higher Power. If you are a member of a recognized faith, you will probalby fnd guidelines on when and how to pray and meditate. If you are not a member of a system of belief or thought that gives a specifc regimen for Prayer and Meditation, you have options to adopt systems that ft within your understanding of a ‘spritual life.’ Prayer Many members of our fellowship refer to Prayer as talking to God, Meditation is listening. Some people believe in a diety which they call God. If their Higher Power, God, is in charge, is everywhere, knows everything and makes all decisions, what is their purpose in Prayer? Tey cannot tell God something God does not know. Tey cannot negotiate a ‘better deal’ than what God has decided. Tey cannot go somewhere God will not see what they do. If you are one of these people, Prayer is the time you make yourself honest. You can tell God that you are scared. You can be honest about your desires and try to make yourself willing to accept what you do or do not receive. Almost all members of AA say that the best Prayer is “Tank you.”

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Meditation Meditation can confuse many people. It can include a formal system of words, music or actions, or it can be a simple way of calming the inner turmoil to fnd a calmness from which healthy decisions can be made. If you have a tradition that gives you guidelines and methods, you may beneft from applying those guidelines to your own practice of Meditation. If you have not had a method of Meditation before getting into Recovery, there are many books, recordings and classes you can consider to learn a method that works for you. Te most important thing about Meditation is that you make the eﬀort. Meditation is a tool to provide calm in turmoil, quiet in chaos, and a foundation on which to build healthy decisions and actions. In the early days of AA, while it was emerging from the Oxford Group, the members observed “quiet time,” at home to start the day, and at the gatherings to begin the meeting. Tis was a group Meditation, after which the member of the group would discuss any guidance that had been received on his or her problems. Many groups maintain the orginal Oxford Group observance of quiet time at the beginning of their meetings.

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Steps Ten and Eleven Together

Te Steps are structured to provide recognition of our problem (alcoholism and the spiritual poverty that accompanies that disease), and the corrective measures to heal our past as far as humanly possible. Beyond the humanly possible we turn to our spiritual life as an everyday reality. Whether clothed in the oﬃcial structure of an established religion, or the method of moral living dictated by another sense of authority, we change our approach to daily life to live on a spiritual basis. A basic defnition of “spiritual” is given elsewhere, but it does no good to do the work of Steps 1 through 9 if we do not proceed to live in “a design for living that really works.” Te articles in this section are intended to help you with your ongoing spiritual growth and not as an indoctrination into an “authorized” spirituality. When AA began, its members were all Christian. With the publication of the Big Book and the change of wording to allow for “God as you understand God,” or “A Higher Power,” Recovery has expanded into every known religion and school of moral thought. Standing with Christians in our meetings we have sober Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, native beliefs, and organized schools on non-belief. Tose who have not settled the question of religion within their alcoholic haze fnd that they can frst focus on the simplicity of not picking up one drink one day at a time and of following the direction of the people who arrived before them. Tey may jump through the “religion” hoop later, or they may not. Tey can still remain sober.

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Even Atheists and Antitheists stay sober provided they recognize their sobriety as a consequence of a power greater than themselves. For some, this has been the fellowship of AA – the dozens of men and women they encounter who can do what the new person cannot do – stay sober! It is the purpose of the following section to help expand your Recovery by exercising the steps in your daily practice of spiritual growth and interaction with the people of this world.

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Spot Check Inventory

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The Work

Step Twelve

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our aﬀairs. Tere are three parts to the Twelfth Step: Body, Mind and Spirit Your Mind is supposed to be focused in the Tenth Step. How are you behaving? Review your behavior as you go through your day. Do you owe an amends? Do you need to correct something before it winds up on a new Inventory? Did you do something right? (You need to keep doing that.) Your Spirit is supposed to be focused in the Eleventh Step. Tis is not just time spent when rising and retiring, but all through the day working to keep your Spiritual Life expressed in your daily behavior. Take moments for guidance and gratitude throughout your day. Your Body should be on the front lines - carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suﬀers. Carrying your beliefs in the form of your actions to be of service to God (as you undestand God) and others, not just alcoholics. Tis means you have more action in the practice of your Recovery. • Do Service, to your Home Group and where possible. • Sponsor others - share what you have been given. • Continue to build your Spiritual Life. • Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of the frst eleven Steps. (An explanation can be found in Appendix II of the Big Book) Step Twelve helps us stay focused on what the Step calls THE result. THE ONLY result. A spiritual awakening. Tere is a teaching story that applies here:

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A young student visited a monk to ask the questions that had come up during the process of learning. Te monk immediately offered a cup of tea. Te student held the cup and monk began to pour. Te cup began to fll and then went over the brim, spilling out. “Stop!” the disciple yelled. “It’s going all over the foor!” Te monk stopped pouring and smiled. “How can I give you more tea if you do not give me an empty cup?” Carrying this message to other alcoholics, and to practice the principles of the frst Eleven Steps in all our affairs, are the Legacy of the process of the Steps to allow us to live a life of Recovery. It is offering an empty cup to receive what comes next. As you live the result of the active cleaning of the past, reordering the present under the new direction provided by the High Power of your own understanding, you build up a reservoir of hope, happiness and satisfaction at becoming a responsible, adult member of your community. Like the story of the monk giving his visitor a cup of tea, we cannot receive what comes next until we give away what we have been given so far. Te St. Francis Prayer says “Make me a channel;”and a channel must have both an intake and an outfow. If there is no input, the reservoir dries up. If there is no outfow, the reservoir becomes stagnant. But it is important that you understand that you do not do Service because you are being nice – you do it to get what comes next! If you’ve had a Spiritual Awakening as the result of taking the actions in Steps One through Eleven, then you’re ready to carry our life-saving and life- changing message to others. Let’s concentrate on carrying this message to other alcoholics as the basis of our discussion of Step Twelve. Chapter Seven of the Big Book tells us exactly how to make a “Twelve Step Call.” Here are some of the main points it describes. (I suggest you read the chapter in its entirety and discuss its contents with your Sponsor or other members of the group.) “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other

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activities fail. Tis is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confdence when others fail.” Page 89 More promises are given in the next paragraph: “Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. Page 89 Tere is more to read about doing a classic Twelve Step Call. Read it so you know what to do when you have the chance to make one. Step Twelve - the part about carrying the message - is not only the focus of this Chapter, it is the focus of the rest of the book! Te last chapter of the front of the book, “A Vision for You,” talks about what we hope every newcomer will experience, but it is also the message of what all of us hope will be true in our own lives. Tere is more. Tere is sharing of the message FROM the authors of the stories TO YOU! All those stories in the back of all four editions of the Big Book are past members carrying their message TO YOU. When you cannot get out to a meeting and feel you need one – let them share their message with you and read one of their stories. From this point, you will do exactly the same kind of mix of what we earlier said was the mix of staying alive. Breathing. Pumping blood. Eating food. Getting rid of wastes. Speaking with others. Listening to others. Doing what is in front of you for your job, your family, your spirit. By working these Steps, on a daily basis: You will abstain from the substance that triggers your physical allergy. You will be free of your mental obsession and another downward spiral. You will see where you have a chance to identify damage from your past life, share your discovery with your Sponsor and, possibly, other trusted members of the Fellowship.

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You will take the actions you and your Sponsor agree will repair or make better the situation you are dealing with. Sometimes the correct action will be to keep your hands oﬀ the situation, sometimes it will be a change in you to avoid repeating the error, sometimes it will be making a direct amends, sometimes it will require an indirect amends. You will fnd new things that fll your life and your time, whether it is a return to family, or living with the full consequences of past actions. You will fnd people with whom to share new interests. You will make time to refect on your actions, pray and meditate to maintain your emotional sobriety. You will fnd that you have something to share with someone newer than yourself – possibly as a Sponsor, possibly as being a good friend. You will become a man among men, a worker among workers, a member of your immediate society and your larger world who can be a man of his word. You may get to the point where someone who doesn’t know your story, never has to calculate ”but he’s an alcoholic, he’s an addict” in their dealings with you. You will fnd yourself, possibly for the frst time. You will see where the dozens of promises in the Big Book are coming true for you. You will understand the word serenity, and you will know peace. Te Tenth Step is the practice of Steps 1 through 9, as needed. You will review your behavior, hopefully correct it before you have a new amends to make. Te Eleventh Step is maintenance of your source, your guidance, your Higher Power as you understand that Higher Power. We encourage you to schedule your week to allow for a minimal, formal contact with that Higher Power daily - or more frequently: every morning before you get out of bed, or while brushing your teeth, or sitting with your breakfast; every evening before retiring, reviewing the day and setting goals for the day to come. Te Twelfth Step tells you what actions you will need to take to carry the message - to share your own story and Recovery, and to help those around you. Living in the Twelfth Step Tere is only one result of working the Twevle Steps – the Spiritual Awakening. We are charged to “carry this message” and to “practice these principles in all our aﬀairs.”

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It becomes necessary to understand exactly what these terms mean to you. Te “Spiritual Awakening” is not about adhering to defnitions or limits outside your own life, but it is about creating a new foundation of the new life where you actually belong. Unlike the old life of isolaton and grief, we have the chance to be “happy, joyous and free.” Sometimes we become all three – happy, joyous and free – at the same time. Sometimes we have tragedies that happen in our life that can damage a sense of joy or happiness. Such trials are not restricted to people in Recovery. Everyone has crises and challenges in their life, but if we surrender to despair and indulgent wallowing in those difficult emotions we risk losing the foundation of our new life. During these times we must accept what is true and use our fellowship, Prayer and Meditation to get through the bad times. Being honest about how we feel during difficulties, and applying the tools we have been given to live a new life carries our message to others. Our life becomes an example of the application of the princples. Our actions carry our message better than our words – how we carry ourselves, how we keep our word, how we do what is expected of a non-alcoholic in the same position. Service is the most common form of ‘carrying the message’. Carrying the message is the purpose of service and can mean speaking at a meeting, talking with one other person, or quietly doing the service work that makes meetings possible. Setting out chairs, making coffee, greeting people at the door when they arrive, sharing in meetings, Sponsoring and being Sponsored are all forms of service. Taking a service position within one’s local fellowship is a more formal kind of service. Tis can be as a Secretary, Treasurer, or Literature person within the meeting, or as a representative to our local service committee, Intergroup, district or area serviceboards. It is suggested we not hold any one position for more than two years – leave room to allow new people a chance to do the same service. Service can be personal – sharing our experience, strength and hope, one on one. Tis can mean actually being a Sponsor, but it can also mean talking with a newcomer or a member of the Program who simply needs to take the risk of sharing honestly and being heard. Te person who needs to talk with us may not

– 208 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition be a newcomer, but someone with considerable time in the program who has entered a situation that is bothering them. Above all , when we talk with someone, we must make an eﬀort to actually listen. We do not simply wait for them to stop talking so we get to say something - consider what they have said and share only from our own experience. If we do not have an answer they need, we must be honest and say ‘I don’t know’, then ofter to help them fnd someone who has the experience they need.Tis simple form of Service may be the strongest in reaching and being a real beneft to the person we are trying to help. Service does not just mean within the structure of the meeting and fellowship. We can also do service in the larger society of our community, with our neighbors, and other public groups in need of our time and talents.

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anonymousreview.org

AA Traditions

Te Traditions module is, as are all subjects in this syllabus, a presentation of a single position on the meaning and application of the Traditions. As such subjective material requires, the reader may accept or reject such portions as he or she feels is appropriate for their intended use. Tere are few things that prove true of alcoholics, but it can be said that they do not like being told what to do. Te Traditions were not an attempt to tell AAs what to do, or even set the standard for AA groups. Te Traditions were a result of errors made in groups and by individuals that resulted in the loss of early groups, and the loss of an unknown number of alcoholics who were driven away by those mistakes. When the meetings were limited to the original two, Akron, OH and New York, the problems addressed by the two primary founders and their fellowships were frequently discussed between the groups before any alcoholics were made to create a formal standard. Te original meetings changed. At frst they required a medical detox and working the equivalent of the frst six steps before attending meetings. When that standard was dropped, the fellowship continued to grow. Te need for a personal connection to someone in the Oxford Group was never a formal requirement, but it was the only entry for the frst two groups. Clarence Snyder’s group, which was unaﬃliated with the Oxford Group, eliminated that requirement. Te membership limitation to upper class, white males was never formal, but the reality was that these people frst gathered to use this process to get and remain sober. Te Traditions began as a series of articles published in Te Grapevine, the AA ‘meeting-in-print,’ during the frst decade or so of AA meetings, frst within the Oxford Group and later as an independent entity. Bill Wilson, the author of

– 210 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition those articles, drew heavily from the volume of correspondence maintained with groups around the world and individuals involved in the sudden growth of the AA Program. After the Saturday Evening Post article in 1941, the membership exploded from a few hundred to several thousand, guided by the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. In that explosion, groups began to raise the number of qualifcations for membership, which kept people away. Alcoholics who otherwise might have stayed to hear the message, and might have worked the Steps to stay sober left the meetings. Tese new requirements were not to assure “the right kind of alcoholic” would join, but they were written as the result of fears – personal fears and cultural fears of the time. Te lack of understanding of a healthy fellowship led to a number of impressive blunders in meeting-building. One meeting in the 1940s served beer at their meetings. Te meeting quickly vanished and a new AA group did not form for several years. Even in recent news, an AA group was accused of the systematic sexual abuse that they touted as being part of the program. Clearly, such acts are not part of the AA program, but the newcomer has no way of knowing this. To this day, there are groups who do not subscribe to the Traditions and the Traditions are not required to form an AA meeting. Te purpose of this discussion is to explore the intent and application of the principles contained in the Traditions. Te Twelve Traditions are copyrighted by the central oﬃce for Alcoholics Anonymous. Tis article is based on the “Long Form” of each Tradition, which may not be as familiar as the Traditions read in most meetings. “Our AA experience has taught us that: ” First Tradition Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes frst. But individual welfare follows close afterward.

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Without the fellowship, the history of alcoholism tells us long and tragic stories of individuals who have tried to remove alcohol and its eﬀects from their lives, and failed. Here and there people succeeded and their stories were notable by the rarity. Founded by the strictly Christian Oxford Group members, Alcoholics Anonymous made the concept of “willing submision” the foundation of the Twelve Step Program. Tis means that despite an individual’s religious or political beliefs, personal opinions of individuals or movements within the Program, our united stance of Recovery as our common binding agent. Whatever stands we take on public issues, we accept the common focus that requires AA be there when we need it and if we do not stand together we will eventually die drunk or high, often cold and alone. We “carry this message” to insure our own Recovery and to make Recovery possible to others. “We” succed where “I” have failed. Te fellowship continues to be a resource for us as we face new situations in the new life, and where we meet the newcomers to whom we “give it away.” It is the “giving it away” that makes room for our next lesson and next revelation. Tis almost never means sacrifcing what we know to be true , but exercising the “restraint of tongue and pen” that tends to divide our fellowship into factions, hurt feelings, or drives wedges between those who would otherwise be part of our sobriety. We may never learn to like everyone in the meeting. Tere will be people you encounter in meetings that will test your ability to accept to its limit. But we are required to love them as expressions of our new trust in a Higher Power and our level of acceptance. Second Tradition For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority-a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Related to the First Tradition, the Second has us put our authority into the combined personal Higher Power expressed through the members of the Group

– 212 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition and the Fellowship, and not in the loudest voice, the strongest passion, or the entrenched authority of a deluded Bleeding Deacon. Tere is a desire to make that trust in our Higher Power about other people’s refusal to submit to group conscience, or drive to get others to see the right way. But that direction is for us to keep our hands off the results of the Group Conscience – it is about our restraint of tongue and pen. Groups can become ill, as can individuals. Te Group that does not correct its behavior may cease to exist. Te group that changes according to whim, fashion, or some passing concept of political correctness may also risk ceasing to exist. Group Inventory is suggested by World Service to keep each Group active as a refection of its membership and the need that group serves. Third Tradition Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought AA membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. Te Tird Tradition was the most protective of all AA’s service legacies. Te single requirement of having the desire to stop drinking does not exclude desire for Recovery from other problems, but identifes the qualifcation of that individual for the very reason the AA group is gathered. Tis means you may be an alcoholic, AND an addict, AND a compulsive gambler, AND an over-eater, AND a sexual compulsive, AND have any number of other problems. Many of these problems are addressed with other 12-Step programs where the membership shares those specifc problems, but a “singleness of purpose” is inclusive. But the requirement to be in an AA meeting is the desire to stop drinking. Beyond that, it is about their willingness to perform the work outlined in the Twelve Steps to fnd and maintain sobriety. Te Big Book is often misunderstood as saying that ONLY an alcoholic can be in the meetings. A member is not even required to identify as anything, other than by local custom. Te only question of identity is whether or not he or she

– 213 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition identifes with the reason for this AA meeting’s existence; to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suﬀers, and that he or she satisfes the only requirement for membership - to have the desire to stop drinking. Any additional qualifcation is an outside issue for the group, but may be vital to one’s own Recovery process. Here are two examples of attempts to control membership prior to adopting the Tird Tradition Early Membership Agreement

Proposed Application from early AA Group

– 214 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Banned from AA In an eﬀort to enforce their own vision of AA, some early groups wrote oﬃcial letters of expulsion from the fellowship, as shown in this example:

December 5, 1941

From The Executive Committee of the Los Angeles Group of Alcoholics Anonymous

Dear Mrs. Irma Lavone,

It was decided that, should you so desire, you may appear before members Committee and state your attitude. This opportunity may be afforded you between of this now and December 15, 1941.

You may communicate with us at the above address by that date. In case you do not wish to appear, we shall consider the matter closed and that your membership is terminated.

Source: Wally P.

– 215 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Fourth Tradition With respect to its own affairs, each AA group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect AA as a whole without conferring with the Trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount. Independence of the individual groups has been hailed as a march of immature anarchy, but the truth has been new meeting formats have evolved to suit the needs of particular fellowships. A group that creates conditions or a format that others fnd unacceptable will either a) prove their value as they fnd support, or b) fade away as the new meeting succeeds or fails, according to its value to its local community. Troughout the country, people open meetings with different readings, or with no readings. Tey announce their name and that they are alcoholic, or make no identifcation at all. Tey have book readings, speaker meetings, writing meetings, discussion-only meetings (men only, women only, gay only, lawyer only, teacher only), and special meetings put on as classes or workshops for the local fellowship. Every group has someone move into their area from another region where things are done differently, who tries to make people “do it right!” Every meeting is free to form and format as it sees ft, provided it does not affect another group or the overall structure of AA. Tis means it is a courtesy for a meeting starting on a night where another meeting already exists to let that group know of its intent so the frst meeting is acknowledged. But neither group can claim any authority to approve or disapprove the other meeting. Meetings are free to change the readings from AA, but cannot claim that their revised materials represent AA as a whole – it is simply not true. But such changes may serve their Group’s needs in Recovery. In many respects, relationships between Groups are entirely optional and usually considered an “Outside Issue” as explained in the Tenth Tradition. Tat Group A passes the Seventh Tradition at the beginning of the meeting, and

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Group B passes the Seventh Tradition basket at the end of the meeting, is not the concern of the other meeting. Fifth Tradition Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose-that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Groups become entrenched in their own glory, particularly when members have remained sober for many years. Tere is a real danger that members of a group may set themselves up as the judges of all things good for local and international AA. It is never the purpose of an AA group to prove their superiority or ranking over other groups. Te Fifth Tradition keeps the focus on the ability of the group, by whatever composition or format, to serve the alcoholic who still suffers. “Te alcoholic who still suffers” does not mean only newcomers, although newcomers are usually in the most identifable distress. Members with long term sobriety face new problems in life and may need the combined experience, strength, and hope of their group to face the new problem. Someone with a few months of sobriety may blossom with new fears that had been kept asleep by drunkenness and now need their group to get them into the next Step or the next exercise of Principles. Te newcomer is always the frst thought with this Tradition. Does the Group carry the message of Recovery to that newcomer? Is the meeting set up and open at the time promised? Is there a personal ‘hello’ for the new man or woman walking or rolling through the door for the frst time? Are they confdent that the newcomer will fnd that meeting there the next time? Some Groups further carry the message to treatment centers, hospitals, or the homes or hospital rooms of alcoholics who cannot attend. Such outreach is up to a Group Conscience, as expressed in Tradition Four. Sixth Tradition Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to AA should be separately incorporated and managed, thus

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dividing the material from the spiritual. An AA group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to AA, such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the AA name. Teir management should be the sole responsibility of those people who fnancially support them. For clubs, AA managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside AA-and medically supervised. While an AA group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An AA group can bind itself to no one. Alcoholics are notorious for being power-grabbing Egotists. Te purpose of the Sixth Tradition is to avoid the perils of position, notoriety, or other benefts from association with an outside group. Linked directly to the non-affiliation of Tradition Eight, the Sixth Tradition prevents the threats of money, property, or prestige that have caused other public beneft concerns to vanish over the years. We are not an organization in the traditional sense. We have a policy of cooperation with outside organizations that must never take the form of an “endorsement” by name, material, funds, or public statements to or from such outside groups. Te name AA should not be linked in any public or business sense with any outside organization, no matter how attractive or benefcial it may seem at the moment. AA has learned to function on a principle known to Native Americans for many years – “It must be good for seven generations.” Tis means what seems benefcial or attractive at the moment may become a liability that will cause unity of the fellowship to suffer, and may cause groups or areas to lose their ability to serve the alcoholics who still suffer. Seventh Tradition Te AA groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of

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contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Ten too, we view with much concern those AA treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated AA purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority. Accepting money from outside organizations opens the door to have to conform to the donor’s requirements to get the next donation. While many sources may claim non-involvement and a lack of requirements for the money, it creates an open door for a donor who has made such a contribution to dictate that only certain people, a certain class of person, a certain race, a certain religious group, political aﬃliation, or class, be reached with the contributor’s money. Independence from outside support, to be self-supporting, is required for the adult responsibility of any individual attempting to achieve a mature, healthy sobriety. Te collection of alcoholics in their search for this same kind of healthy responsibility can only beneft from the same responsibility for their group’s fnancial health. Eighth Tradition Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional. We defne professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we may otherwise have to engage non-alcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual AA "Twelfth Step" work is never to be paid for. When AA grew from a few hundred people to several thousand in the weeks after the appearance of the Saturday Evening Post article by Jack Alexander, it became clear that someone had to answer the mail, answer the phones, and perform the unglamorous work of responding. As with other changes in AA, it was a huge controversy as to whether someone being paid for secretarial work was performing a Twelfth Step job, which should never be subject to a paycheck. Bill Wilson explains the principle of responsible services in his chapter on the Eighth Tradition in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, but confrmed that no

– 219 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition one should ever be paid for Twelfth Step Work. But it was also a violation of the Seventh Tradition to expect someone to do non-Twelfth Step work for free. “Our own contributions” slowly began to mean paying for the phone bill for an AA phone, the box rent for an AA mailing address, or (when local meetings need a physical location for local services) rent for a reasonable local office. Speakers for AA are not to be paid for their talk, but it is reasonable to provide for transportation costs and, when needed, a local sleeping spot. If the speaker travelled to that city, the gas, rail, or airfare would still apply. If the local community cannot host the speaker in a member’s home, it may be appropriate for the local group to provide a motel room. Despite the spiritual nature of the Program, it is not appropriate to suddenly expect loggers to cut down trees to make paper for AA literature as a free service to the Fellowship, nor can we expect buildings to be built with contributed electricity for local meetings. Te Eighth Tradition protects from the same big-shotism that is the focus of Tradition Six, while acknowledging the real fnancial costs of providing our services. Ninth Tradition Each AA group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. Te small group may elect its Secretary, the large group its Rotating Committee, and the groups of a large Metropolitan area their Central or Intergroup Committee, which often employs a full-time Secretary. Te trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our AA General Service Committee. Tey are the custodians of our AA Tradition and the receivers of voluntary AA contributions by which we maintain our AA General Service Office in New York. Tey are authorized by the groups to handle our over-all public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principle newspaper, "Te AA Grapevine." All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in AA are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. Tey derive no real authority from their titles; they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness. Many AA groups have a regular Home Group meeting where group issues are decided, but some have chosen to create a committee to conduct the group’s business. Te decision to handle operational issues this way is up to the Group.

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But such a committee is not vested with permanent authority. Te Group needs to be able to create, or dissolve, such service bodies, as needed. A few groups in an area may want to host a Round-Up, a Conference, or an Assembly, and create a committee to carry out their issues and do the work. Tey may even vote to continue the committee from year to year, as needed. Such committees need to refect the groups they serve in an open, accessible, and democratic manner. Groups in an area may choose to create an Intergroup with representatives from member groups to carry out services for the local fellowships. As I write, a local Intergroup provides a depository where groups can go to buy books, literature, current meeting guides (which the Intergroup edits and publishes), and outside items like bumper stickers, anniversary chips, posters, and other items the local Intergroup has approved for sale. Like individual meetings, service boards are not the authority of groups outside their service area and need not be approved by anyone other than the groups they serve. It should also be said that opinions on the right and wrong way to carry out services abound, and anyone on the losing side of a vote is free to express their opinion and displeasure. But the Second Tradition remains our authority, as expressed in the group conscience. Dissenting opinions are invited and may win a later vote. Tenth Tradition No AA group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate AA, express any opinion on outside controversial issues-particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. Te Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever. An earlier fellowship, the Washingtonian Temperance Society failed to fnd the common focus we have for groups and, as a result, competed with each other for members, took public positions on public issues, took both sides of public arguments in very public disagreements, and managed to be lost to history because of massive disunity. Alcoholics Anonymous does not have opinions on public issues. Members of Alcoholics Anonymous have lots of opinions and will frequently express them at the top of their lungs, sometimes even in meetings.

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As a Fellowship, in the name of Unity (First Tradition), Service (Twelfth Step, Fifth Tradition), and Recovery (the sum goal of all of the Steps and Traditions), we remove outside issues from our interior discussions. Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on political issues. Members have lots of opinions on political issues. Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on religious issues. Members have lots of opinions on religious issues. Alcoholics Anonymous has no position on social issues or private therapies. Members have lots of opinions on social issues and private therapies. We want the newcomer to fnd a meeting that is united on Recovery, not divided by politics, religion, controversy, or a self-righteousness that prevents the members from carrying the message. AA must protect its primary purpose (Fifth Tradition) by keeping the meetings open and inviting to the newcomer. None of us want to be responsible for the newcomer leaving his or her frst meeting feeling unwelcome because there was an argument over an outside issue, particularly if it makes them believe they are on the wrong side of the issue for AA. Outside issues can include politics, religion, substances other than alcohol, behaviors, or psychological theories. Having no opinion prevents AA from being on the right side or the wrong side of outside issues. Members always have the freedom to discuss such issues among themselves and outside the framework of the Meeting. Eleventh Tradition Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, flmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. Tere is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us. Anonymity of the membership does not mean no one ever knows about AA. Te neighbors knew you were drunk; they probably noticed you aren’t drunk now. Tey may suspect why. Your family probably knows what you are doing. You may have an abundance of gratitude for the Program and AA.

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But this does not give permission to make public pronouncements on behalf of AA, hoping to get others into AA, or to build up the membership of any group. Avoiding promotion and campaigning for membership means the responsibility for the attraction of AA remains with the result of the group’s actions (the Steps and Recovery) and not clever campaigns or slogans. Tis does not mean you will not see public service announcements on television, or hear them on the radio. Tose services let people know that AA exists and is available if they want to seek out help. Non-promotion does not eliminate a policy of “cooperation with the professional community.” Tis means that the local service boards can provide information to requests from groups of educational, religious, medical, legal, or public service groups. It also means a phone number is available in most AA communities for more information about local AA meetings. Twelfth Tradition And fnally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of Anonymity has an immense spiritual signifcance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine Humility. Tis to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. Anonymity was originally intended to protect members from the public stigma of alcoholism, but proved to be a powerful tool that allowed newcomers to enter the program, even if they did not give their right name when they entered the doors. Anonymity was seen as a way to take away the markers of social position, legal standing, or background. Tey became “an alcoholic in Recovery,” rather that Name / Occupation / Address / Bank Balance / Connections who is an alcoholic. In the early years, local and national celebrities achieved sobriety and revealed their membership in AA, only to get drunk again to give the message “AA didn’t work for XX, so it probably won’t work for you...” Te most notable case was Rolle H., a national baseball star who achieved highly publicized sobriety, and drank again.

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Anonymity became a defense for the alcoholic to clear away distractions to achieve sobriety and to protect the fellowship from the actions of a single person to taint the public perception of that person representing AA.

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Misconceptions about AA ‘Tradition’ Many people repeat “Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here” as their understanding of anonymity. It is better used as a statement of confdentiality. But the words are not from AA. Tey came from signs placed outside war plants in World War II to keep workers from speaking of the sensitive jobs they were doing.

– 225 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

– 226 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Sponsorship

– 227 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Akron Service Committee 1944

Sponsorship

BY CLARENCE SNYDER, 1944 Tis is slightly edited from the frst pamphlet ever written concerning Sponsorship. It was written by Clarence H. Snyder in early 1944. Its original title was to be “AA ... Its Obligations and Its Responsibilities.” It was printed by the Cleveland Central Committee under the title:"AA ... Its Opportunities and Its Responsibilities."

Te masculine form is used throughout for simplicity, although it is intended to include women as well.

Te guide was written for the original concept of the 12-Step Call, where the recovering members would accept the invitation of the family or prospective member or seek out those with drinking problems from local doctors (before HIPPA prevented revealing anything about a patient’s medical condition). Many of the points still apply to talking with the likely candidate through whatever source they may be contacted. Preface Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is a potential Sponsor of a new member and should clearly recognize the obligations and duties of such responsibility. Te acceptance of an opportunity to take the AA plan to a suﬀerer of alcoholism entails very real and critically important responsibilities. Each member, undertaking the Sponsorship of a fellow alcoholic, must remember that he is oﬀering what is frequently the last chance for rehabilitation, sanity, or maybe life itself. Happiness, Health, Security, Sanity, and Life are the things we hold in the balance when we Sponsor an alcoholic.

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No member among us is wise enough to develop a program that can be successfully applied in every case. However, in the following pages, we have outlined a suggested procedure, which supplemented by the member's own experience, has proven successful. Personal Gains of Being a Sponsor No one reaps the full benefts from any fellowship he is connected with unless he wholeheartedly engages in its important activities. Te expansion of Alcoholics Anonymous to wider felds of greater beneft to more people results directly from the addition of new, worthwhile members or associates. Any AA who has not experienced the joys and satisfaction of helping another alcoholic regain his place in life has not yet fully realized the complete benefts of this fellowship. On the other hand, it must be clearly kept in mind that the only possible reason for bringing an alcoholic into AA is for that person's gain. Sponsorship should never be undertaken: 1. To increase the size of the group 2. For personal satisfaction and glory 3. Because the Sponsor feels it his duty to remake the world Until an individual has assumed the responsibility of setting a shaking, helpless human being back on the path toward becoming a healthy, useful member of society, he has not enjoyed the complete thrill of being an AA. Source of Names Most people have among their own friends and acquaintances someone who would beneft from our teachings. Others have names given to them by their church, by their doctor, by their employer, or by some other member, who cannot make a direct contact. Because of the wide range of the AA activities, the names often come from unusual and unexpected places. Tese cases should be contacted as soon as all facts such as: marital status, domestic relations, fnancial status, drink habits, employment status, and others readily obtainable, are at hand. Is the Prospect a Candidate? Much time and eﬀort can be saved by learning as soon as possible if: 1. The man really has a drinking problem;

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2. The man knows he has a problem; 3. The man wants to do something about his drinking; 4. The man wants help. Sometimes the answers to these questions cannot be made until the prospect has had some AA instruction and an opportunity to think. Often we are given names, which upon investigation, show the prospect is in no sense an alcoholic or is satisfed with his present plan of living. We should not hesitate to drop these names from our lists. However, be sure to let the man know where he can reach us at a later date. Who Should Become Members? AA is a fellowship of men and women bound together by their inability to use alcohol in any form sensibly, or with proft or pleasure. Obviously, any new members introduced should be the same kind of people, suffering from the same disease. Most people can drink reasonably, but we are only interested in those who cannot. Party drinkers, social drinkers, celebrators, and others who continue to have more pleasure than pain from their drinking, are of no interest to us. In some instances, an individual might believe himself to be a social drinker when he defnitely is an alcoholic. In many such cases, more time must pass before that person is ready to accept our program. Rushing such a man before he is ready might ruin his chances of ever becoming a successful AA. Do not ever deny future help by pushing too hard in the beginning. Some people, although defnitely alcoholic, have no desire or ambition to better their way of living, and until they do, AA has nothing to offer them. Experience has shown that age, intelligence, education, background, or the amount of liquor drunk, has little, if any, bearing on whether or not the person is an alcoholic. Presenting the Plan In many cases, a man's physical condition is such that he should be placed in a hospital, if at all possible. Many AA members believe hospitalization, with ample time for the prospect to think and plan his future, free from domestic and business worries, offers a distinct advantage. In many cases, the hospitalization period marks the beginning of a new life. Other members are equally confdent that any man who desires to learn the AA plan for living

– 230 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition can do it in his own home or while engaged in normal occupation. Tousands of cases are treated in such a manner and have proved satisfactory. Suggested Steps Te following paragraphs outline a suggested procedure for presenting the AA plan to the prospect, at home or in the hospital. Qualify as an Alcoholic In calling upon a new prospect, it has been found best to qualify oneself as an ordinary person who has found happiness, contentment, and peace of mind through AA. Immediately make it clear to the prospect that you are a person engaged in the routine business of earning a living. Tell him your only reason for believing yourself able to help him is because you, yourself, are an alcoholic and have had experiences and problems that might be similar to his. Tell Your Story Many members have found it desirable to launch immediately into their personal drinking story as a means of getting the confdence and wholehearted cooperation of the prospect. It is important in telling the story of your drinking life to tell it in a manner that will describe an alcoholic, rather than a series of humorous drunken parties. Tis will enable the man to get a clear picture of an alcoholic, which should help him to more defnitively decide whether or not he is an alcoholic. Inspire Confidence in AA In many instances, the prospect will have tried various means of controlling his drinking, including hobbies, church, changes of residence, change of associations, and various control plans. Tese will, of course, have been unsuccessful. Point out your series of unsuccessful eﬀorts to control drinking, their absolute fruitless results; and yet, you were able to stop drinking through the application of AA principles. Tis will encourage the prospect to look forward, with confdence, to sobriety in AA in spite of the many past failures he might have had with other plans. Talk About “Plus” Values Tell the prospect frankly that he cannot quickly understand all the benefts that are coming to him through AA. Tell him of the happiness, peace of

– 231 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition mind, health, and in many cases, material benefts that are possible through understanding and application of the AA way of life. Show Importance of Reading Our Book Explain the necessity of reading and rereading the AA book. Point out that this book gives a detailed description of the AA tools, and the suggested methods of using these tools to build a foundation of rehabilitation for living. Tis is a good time to emphasize the importance of the twelve steps and the four absolutes. Qualities Required for Success in AA Convey to the prospect that the objectives of AA are to provide the ways and means for an alcoholic to regain his normal place in life. Desire, patience, faith, study, and application are most important in determining each individual's plan of action in gaining the full benefts of AA. Introduce Faith Since the belief of a Power greater than oneself is the heart of the AA plan, and since this idea is often very difficult for a new man, the Sponsor should attempt to introduce the beginnings of an understanding of this all- important feature. Frequently, this can be done by the Sponsor relating his own difficulty in grasping a spiritual understanding and the methods he used to overcome his difficulties. Listen to His Story While talking to the newcomer, take time to listen and study his reactions in order that you can present your information in a more effective manner. Let him talk too. Remember – Easy Does It. Take to Several Meetings To give the new member a broad and complete picture of AA, the Sponsor should take him to various meetings within a convenient distance of his home. Attending several meetings gives the new man a chance to select a group in which he will be most happy and comfortable. It is extremely important to let the prospect make his own decision as to which group he will join. Impress upon him that he is always welcome at any meeting and can change his home group if he so wishes.

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Explain AA to Prospect’s Family A successful Sponsor takes pains and makes any required effort to make certain that those people closest and with the greatest interest in their prospect (mother, father, wife, etc.) are fully informed of AA, its principles and its objectives. Te Sponsor sees that these people are invited to meetings and keeps them in touch with the current situation regarding the prospect at all times. Anticipate Hospital Experience7 A prospect will gain more beneft from a hospitalization period if the Sponsor describes the experience and helps him anticipate it, paving the way for those members who will call on him. Consult Older Members in AA Tese suggestions for Sponsoring a new man in AA teachings are by no means complete. Tey are intended only for a framework and general guide. Each individual case is different and should be treated as such. Additional information for Sponsoring a new man can be obtained from the experience of older men in the work. A co-Sponsor, with an experienced and newer member working on a prospect, has proven very satisfactory. Before undertaking the responsibility of Sponsoring, a member should make certain that he is able and prepared to give the time, effort, and thought such an obligation entails. It might be that he will want to select a co-Sponsor to share the responsibility, or he might feel it necessary to ask another to assume the responsibility for the man he has located. - Clarence H. Snyder

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A SPONSOR – BE A GOOD ONE!8

– 233 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

sponsormagazine.org

Zen and the Art of Sponsorship

“God, Make me a Channel of Thy Peace...” -- St. Francis Prayer To be a channel is to allow what is being channeled to fow through. If it is water, it must include input and outfow. In Sponsorship, it must provide the principles as received into your life through your Sponsor, your experience within the Program, and carrying that message to those you would Sponsor. How to Not Know Te most diﬃcult answer for any alcoholic is “I don’t know,” but it is “not knowing” that opens the possibility of learning. Even the answer that was perfect yesterday may not be the right answer for today. Your Sponsee will learn more about truth if you say “I don’t know, let’s fnd someone with experience with that,” and together you seek the answer with your Sponsee. If you search together through the tools available to you - through Prayer, literature, the fellowship, and professional sources - your Sponsee will learn how to fnd an answer by experience and improvisation. To “not know” is to agree to be a student and makes it possible for you and your Sponsee to learn from your Higher Power. “Not knowing” how to live without a drink brought you to your Recovery. Recognition of your own limits and the willingness to fnd the new answer will improve your own Recovery and that of your Sponsee. Some groups and Sponsors use “Rev. Mychal’s Prayer” “God, take away everything I think I know about you and about me, and teach me.”

– 234 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Essential Sponsorship is a concept of one member of the Program helping another member of the Program through the process of the Steps and applying those Steps and principles into their daily life. Sponsorship requires the ability to see the Now and use the Program to help the Sponsee (sometimes called “pigeon,” “baby,” “cookie,” or “protégé”) to move through the Recovery process using the Twelve Steps. Essential Improvisation Improvisation is a specifc way of approaching theater, based on the book “Improvisation for the Teatre” by Viola Spolin. Today, improvisation is best known through improv comedy, such as Te Second City. Te essence of improvisation is always to support – never deny -- what came before. Tere is no “one size fts all” philosophy and there are countless ways to successfully carry the message to your Sponsee. An attitude of improvisation will allow you to take whatever progress the Sponsee makes with the Steps and application of those Steps to his/her life as a way to learn the lesson, and then move on and move forward. Essential Zen Zen is defned by the Free Online Dictionary as “Buddhist doctrine that enlightenment can be attained through direct intuitive insight.” Zen is not a religion. Zen is an approach based on recognition of the moment, the immediate moment, the “Now.” Sponsorship is the challenge of matching the experience of the Sponsor with the situation of the Sponsee. Zen requires that you be focused on the Now, the Sponsee’s actions, and the tools of the Program, to eliminate the actions that created the current situation, clean up the baggage of the past which interferes with life in the Now, and taking the action required for the personal change Recovery demands. Improvisation requires the Sponsor be armed with information and a wide variety of specifc examples and answers that address the need of the Now. In the Big Book, it says “obviously you can’t carry something you haven’t got,” so it is necessary that the Sponsor become saturated in a variety of material in addition to the Sponsor’s own experience.

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Te combination of Sponsorship, Zen, and improvisation allows the Sponsor to listen to the Sponsee, to respond in a way that includes the “yes, and...” of improv, and direct the Sponsee toward taking new action to correct his negative actions by using the available tools of meetings, fellowship, Prayer, literature, and phone - whatever suits the moment. Over-prepare Get into your Program as never before. You will be amazed at how the themes you fnd in reading, listening to speakers, attending discussion meetings, and conversations you have with other people in the Program will tie into the obstacles and questions in the “Now” of your Sponsee and yourself.

– 236 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Dallas B., Pacific Group, Mar Vista, CA

Clancy’s Seven Questions

Several years ago, Clancy I., was explaining to me that guilt, resentment, fear, feelings of personal inadequacy and loneliness were the fve areas that seem to cause the most serious problems for people in recovery. He shared with me seven questions that he uses to help a person start writing and he emphasized that the questions and the writing are not intended to replace AA’s Fourth Step, they just help the person get started. Most of the people who approach Clancy or who are referred to him, are very hardcore cases who have tried numerous times and approaches to solve their problems. Here are the Seven Questions: 1. In looking back over your life – what memories are still painful, guilty, dirty? 2. In what ways do you consider yourself an inadequate person? 3. Who do you resent – and why? Be specific. 4. What do you conceive to be your defects of character – as you see them today? 5. What is the nature of the ongoing problems you have with people close to you – in human relations – what seems to always happen when you have these things that blow up? 6. In what way do you believe that AA can help you with any of these problems? 7. In what way do you believe that AA can begin to change things? I have been using these “Seven Questions” with the people that I sponsor ever since Clancy shared them with me.

– 237 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

I’ve discovered that they are very eﬀective when dealing with rock-bottom newcomers and with the high-bottom intellectual types. I have also used them numerous times in helping old-timers who were struggling through a diﬃcult period. I never give the newcomer the questions without also setting a time for them to complete their writing. Normally, I’ll give them the questions and expect them to be fnished with their writing by the next day, and I’ll have them call me so that we can get together and discuss their answers and apply the solution to their problems. If the newcomer procrastinates and doesn’t meet the deadline for the questions, I usually consider that they are not yet serious enough to approach their problem and I move on to help someone else. I pass them on to you with the hope that they will help you in helping others as much as they have helped me. Dallas B.

P.S. Tank you Clancy for all of your help, and for the structure, responsible behavior and discipline that you've taught me, and for all that you do for Alcoholics Anonymous! My life would not be so good without you!

– 238 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

anonymousreview.org

To New Sponsors

So, someone has asked you to be their Sponsor. What do you do? First, remember you cannot carry something you haven’t got. Do you have a Sponsor? Your ability to share with a new prospect is limited to your own experience, so you cannot show a newcomer how to work with a Sponsor if you do not work with a Sponsor. Call your Sponsor as soon as someone asks you and whimper, “What do I do?” Your Sponsor is your best guide to being a Sponsor. Do you have a network of people in the Program with whom you can discuss your life and options in Recovery? Do you continue to do step work with your Sponsor, even after years of sobriety? Do you have a spiritual life? Will you be able to share what you have with newcomers, even if they are not of the same faith as you? Te experience of a Sponsor and Sponsee working together is unique and should be between equals, one of whom has more experience in Recovery than the other. It is a close teacher / student relationship that may evolve into a friendship, but it is not necessary to become friends for successful Sponsorship. Being a Sponsor does not mean you are superior to the newcomer – you are just someone who is a little further along the path than the Sponsee and who is willing to share with the newcomer what you’ve done. A Sponsor helps the Sponsee understand the basics of the Program and works the Sponsee through the Steps (particularly the 4th and 5th Steps). A Sponsor shares basic information in the Big Book, most often by sitting with the Sponsee and going through the frst 181 pages out loud, defning the words and concepts to make the Sponsee aware of the tools being laid at his feet. A Sponsor is not a bank. Loaning or borrowing money between a Sponsor and a Sponsee can taint the relationship. Te two of you will talk about fnancial

– 239 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition issues, but money can ruin what could be a working relationship that could help you both. A Sponsor is not a taxi service. A Sponsor may take a Sponsee to meetings, particularly to the Sponsor’s Home Group, but the Sponsee should be encouraged to develop a new network of people in the Program for rides and discussion. A Sponsor is not a counselor. Tat means marriage- or employment- counselor. You will discuss the Sponsee’s issues and problems, but you do not have any authority to share anything other than your own experience and background in the Steps. Even if you are a licensed counselor, this is not a professional relationship. A Sponsor is not a therapist. Again, even if the Sponsor is a licensed therapist, this is not a professional relationship. Te Sponsor’s job is to help the newcomer through Recovery using the Steps, and the principles in daily living. Tis will cover areas of money, relationships, employment, sex, desire, defects, and spiritual life. A Sponsor Is Not Perfect No one in our Program has attained perfection, but progress is our ongoing goal. You may make mistakes, but learn from them and share with your Sponsee how mistakes can be used as part of the lessons required for Recovery. What your Sponsee sees you do is every bit as important as anything you say. If you do not know something, be honest. Your willingness to seek an answer for something you do not know can be a powerful lesson for your prospect. Successful Sponsorship Having a Sponsor or being a Sponsor does not guarantee that the prospect will stay sober. If your Sponsee goes out and starts drinking again, fnd someone else to work with who may want what you have to oﬀer. If you stay sober, the Sponsorship has been eﬀective. If your Sponsee stays sober, it is not because of your wonderful Sponsorship. It is because you have helped the Sponsee fnd and develop his spiritual awakening and personal relationship to a Higher Power.

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– 241 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Sponsormagazine.org

To New Speakers

So, you have been asked to speak as a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Congratulations! You've seen it done a hundred times, but how do you get up there to deliver a message of your experience, strength, and hope. Tis is simply one member’s attempt to share Experience, Strength, and Hope with someone else, regardless of how many listeners he or she may have. A member speaking for the frst time, or who wants to re-examine how they present their story when they speak to a group, might beneft from a few words from those with previous experience. What Do You Say? First, introduce yourself. You may choose to say your frst name or your full name. Give your sobriety date and the information for your Home Group. In the Big Book, we are told that we are to carry the message and a speaker needs to be clear on what his/her message is. In its simplest form, that message will be "Tis works." Your talk should be broken into the three basic phases; "What it was like...,” "What happened...,” and "What it is like now." It is not the purpose of your talk to explain everything – you won't be able to do that. But you will take some key moments from your story to share. You may want to mention if you have had previous bouts of sobriety. Preparation You really do not need to write a script for everything you are going to say. A simple list of words in some approximate order that makes sense to you will remind you what you want to say. You will then be able to tell that part of your story as if you were telling the story to some friends. Because, you are. Many speakers do a short Prayer before they talk, sometimes alone in the bathroom or a quiet place, sometimes at the beginning of their talk. Te best public Prayer I have heard is a variation on Fr. Mychal’s Prayer.

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“God, take away everything I think I know about you, and take away everything I think I know about me, and teach me.” Language Te book says "We will tell, in our own words..." and no one can tell you what you cannot say. Well, some may try, but their authority is to tell you what they have done, not their theories on forbidden language. But in the Raleigh area there is a sign some meetings use, "A lack of profanity offends no one." My language was rough when I arrived in the south. And my story included a lot of the language I used in the streets. After a talk where my Sponsor's wife had brought a friend to hear what I had to say, she could only remember that I had used the Queen-Mother of swear words in my talk. My Sponsor's wife came up to me to suggest I watch my language. So I became righteous and brought up the direction from the book, "We will tell, in our own words..." She agreed. "It also says you are to carry the message, and people won't hear the message if you are offending them." At frst I wanted to justify my language but realized that speaking was not about me and how wonderful I was. I was told to carry the message and voluntarily began restricting my language. Te result was a better talk about the Program and what it has given me. You have to make up your own mind. Who Are You Talking To? First, remember who you are talking to. A room full of alcoholics is going to be far too self-involved to bother noticing much of what you are saying. In fact, there may be only a small number of people who are really listening – and you will never know who they are. You may be fooled that the folks who are sitting in the front, bright-eyed and apparently paying attention, are not the people who will really get your message. But don't be too sure of that. Sometimes you may plant a seed that won't take root for months or years, but something from your story may sink in with someone who is new, or who has been around for a while, secretly suffering and ready to try something desperate – like using someone else's story to apply our Program to their own life. Get sober quickly Many speakers take the opportunity to tell war stories, and some of the things we have done are exactly what give us the authority of experience. But some never

– 243 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition leave the "and I got so drunk that I..." phase - you risk the newcomer leaving the meeting wondering if you ever got sober. Whatever the length of time you have to talk, we oﬀer this guideline: Try to keep your personal drunk-a-logue down to 1/3 of the available time. "We will tell you what we were like..." does not mean talk about your career as a budding alcoholic all night. So, if you are speaking for 45 minutes, use no more than 15 minutes for your drunk stories. With 30 minutes, you need no more than 10 minutes of drunk stories. The Beginning of Your Own Sobriety Te "What happened..." phase of your talk should run no more than 1/3 of the total time, but may be less if you had hit a solid bottom and only had to have one sobriety date. With more than one sobriety date you may want to share on why you had to change your date. Benefits Sometimes a speaker will only talk about the struggles he/she must face in sobriety. Many of us have to share that we are not examples of success with jobs or relationships or behavior. But never forget that you are talking to a room full of people who already know how to suﬀer. Talk about your story in Recovery. Share how you worked your Steps, talk about your Home Group, your Sponsor, your Inventory, and Step Work. Share the personal pain that fnally gave you the desire to stop drinking. Really! Your honesty will reach your audience. To stand there and visibly be better than the drunk you are describing will carry a message. Do not share on Steps or problems you have not had. No one needs more theory. You are there to carry the message of how the actions you have taken – how using the Big Book, the Steps, your Sponsor, and the other tools – have taken you to this new place in your life. Do not be afraid to share your real past, but do not involve the names or positions of other people in your story by name. You are telling your story, not theirs. If you have a secret you learned to give up, you are not required to tell that secret from the podium. No one can make that decision but you. If you can share a past secret, it may carry a stronger message to someone in your audience who may need to hear how you found freedom from the poison of secrets.

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Tell them how the Program has given you what nothing else has. Talk about feeling at peace inside your own skin. Share the healing you have experienced, the changes in your relationships (family, friends, or work) or health. Avoid presenting your story so that getting a new car, a new job, or more money is the reward of working your Program. People can become confused with the benefts of the Program and material things. Your job is to share your message, your Recovery, oﬀer a solution, and “the” result of our Program. “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps...” T e n t h Step Above all, talk of your hope and belief that the Program succeeded where nothing else could. Share your sense that you felt it would not work for you but that it brought you to where you are now and your hope for the future. Tools, Steps, and Service Try to include how you have used the Steps and Tools of the Program (meetings, fellowship, literature, Sponsor, etc.): • Meetings • Fellowship • Sponsorship • Phone • Literature • Writing • Steps and Steps and Steps Talk about Service and how it has aﬀected your Recovery. Keep it within your own experience and tell how you have done Service. Tis can include carrying meetings into institutions, setting up for meetings, giving rides, talking with newcomers, making and receiving phone calls, Afterwards If people come up to thank you, say "Tank you." It is not your job to explain to them why they are wrong, just say "Tank you." If they say they got something from your talk, they know better than you what is in their own head. The Three Talks Almost all speakers say they had three talks: • The talk they wanted to give;

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• The talk they actually gave; • The talk based on things they remembered after the meeting – what they think they should have said. Tat is common. Like life, you do as well as you can and do it a little bit better the next time. Do your best and learn. You can do it better the next time. Emptying your Cup Tere is an old teaching story of a petitioner coming to see a monk for wisdom. Te monk oﬀered him a cup of tea and the petitioner held out a cup. Te monk poured until the cup was full, then kept pouring until the cup overfowed and the tea spilled all over the foor. When the teapot was empty, the monk shook his head and looked at the petitioner. He said: “How can I give you any tea if you do not give me an empty cup?” Speaking is your opportunity to empty your cup to get the next blessing or lesson. Write A List You may want to write down a simple list of things you want to say and put them on an index card or a sheet of note paper to help you, should your mind go blank looking at the faces staring at you. Just show up on time and tell the truth. You’ll do fne.One Speaker’s Personal List Tis is an example of the ‘list’ it is suggested for you to use when you need to keep your talk moving forward. Your items on your list will be personalized, of course. Give sobriety date, home group Mama’s suicide Growing up with an active alcoholic Molested age 4 Never feeling “real” inside my own skin Family moved every year, no long term friends Drugs in high school, relief Drinking college, THE relief. It worked for me Hating AA (Dad) Going to AA for Inspiration, but not an alcoholic

– 246 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

Te 20 Questions - was “I” an alcoholic? Four years plus not able to stay sober in Program Two poor choices of Sponsors I could “out think” Sponsor #3 Day one of my Sobriety My real Inventory Service, non-negotiable Sponsoring to stay Sober Moving from state to state, new Sponsors, more service Traveling - fnding new meetings Diagnosed diabetic - Stayed Sober Moving here, local home group and Sponsor Commitment to Service and Treatened with amputation and stayed sober; heart attack and stayed sober; how my heart attack meant I didn’t have the amputation; COPD and stayed sober; Tree cancer scares, stayed sober Message to the newcomer. Wrap at... [Stop time for speaker at this meeting]

DO YOUR OWN LIST - It could even be shorter

– 247 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

sponsormagazine.info

Active Listening

OBJECTIONS AND QUESTIONS Ultimately, you cannot get anyone sober. If they do not do the work, they will not get the result. You can’t coddle anyone, either. Every Sponsor encounters repeating questions or situations. Over time, your experience dealing with certain issues will be the most valuable thing you can offer a new Sponsee. Tere are different responses to different types of off topic questions. Specifc guidance can make a difference. Tese are samples of specifcs we have encountered, more than once. Tey are not the only questions, but they can serve as models to build your own aresenal of answers for people who will come to you in the future. You can also try to remember the more odd questions you are asked or the comments that may play into your own experience in Recovery. A few samples of such questions or comments might be. “I’ll never be able to do Step Four...” When the time comes, when you have really done Steps One, Two, and Tree you will be able to do the next step. You might even look forward to it. Tere is nothing in Step Four you have not already thought about. Te purpose of Step Four is to get those thoughts out of your head and onto paper, where they stop moving. When we only tell and retell our story without writing it down, our version changes just a little every time we tell it. By writing it all in one place, you see what a big steaming pile your life has become. When you see that pile, you’ll be ready to sit down with your Sponsor or the person with whom you do Step Five, to have them help you make sense of what is there.

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“I’ll never be able to do Step Five...” In Step Five, you get to see your personal, steaming pile in 3D. You need two eyes to see things in 3D, so you need a second viewpoint to see your Fourth Step in three dimensions. Te person you’re doing Step Five with will have some experience and be able to help you separate the things that come up: a) What is yours and what is not? We tend to become the center of the universe (we think) and everything is about “me.” We take on responsibility for other people’s thoughts or actions, or try to escape our own responsibility by claiming it was really so-and- so, not “me.” You may be surprised to see what gets taken out of your Fourth Step, and what remains. b) Not everything in your Fourth Step are bad things. The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve both tell us we must Inventory our assets, too. The purpose of identifying assets is to see where we were given gifts or developed good abilities, and usually how we have not used these assets properly, or turned them into a weapon against other people. c) We hear the person we have chosen for our Fifth Step share his own experience with the issues we are facing and are surprised to find how we have reacted as simple humans, not monsters or saints. We find that we are imperfect, as are the other people in AA, but need to take responsibility for what is ours, discard excess baggage that is not ours to repair, and identify all the aspects of our lives, good and bad. Sometimes a participant will challenge you with a rumor he has heard about AA. Answer that rumor truthfully; either with the facts and cite your source for your answers, or admit you do not have the answer now and agree to look for the real story behind the rumor. “I heard Bill Wilson used LSD.” Yep. In the 1960s, before Timothy Leary and black light posters, researchers believed LSD would be useful in treating alcoholism and depression, and might be a tool to use in fnding the “Spiritual Experience” most AAs were seeking. Bill took LSD under supervision, often with Aldous Huxley (author of “Te Doors of Perception”) in California. Lois participated in some of those lab sessions.

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Te story is in Chapter 23 of Pass It On, which is Bill Wilson’s history of AA. When it became controversial, Bill stopped participating in the experiment. It is also covered in Ernie Kurtz’ unoﬃcial history of AA, “Not God.” In other sessions, you may have someone who wants to explore some non- Recovery related question, or wants to show how smart they are by asking a question to which they already know the answer, but want to have the chance to be the one to tell the class. “Isn’t it true Bill Wilson was a Mason?” I really don’t know. It’s never been part of my understanding of how to do the Steps or to deal with my own Recovery. But I’m sure it has been documented if it is true. Does that change whether you will do your Steps, or the information being presented here? Can we focus on Steps and Recovery? “Shouldn’t alcoholism simply be classified as a Mental Illness?” I’m not a medical person and am not qualifed to diagnose either medically or psychiatrically. Te AMA (American Medical Association) does defne alcoholism as a separate diagnosis with mental and physical factors. Te mental obsession might be on the level of a mental illness. An alcoholic can have additional problems, such as schizophrenia, neurosis, etc., but that does not change the diagnosis of “alcoholic.” Would you use the fact the disease is not classifed the way you want it to be classifed as a reason not do the Steps? If you think psychiatry would help you more than the Steps, you are free to try that. I, personally, have done three rounds of psychotherapy and several class/ workshop sessions in sobriety. I found having my AA program in place, and telling the doctor the truth (which was a whole new concept) to be very useful in getting the beneft of a good therapist.

Sometimes the question will be heartfelt and, if you have made the class a safe place to ask real questions, may be instrumental in helping the participant overcome his or her block on doing the work of Recovery.

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“I don’t understand all that “thee” and “thine” stuff. What does that mean?” It would never have occurred to me to ask that question. I was raised in a good, church-going family and “thee” and “thine” were part of the language from the very early days. Let’s take the suggested Tird Step Prayer on Page 63: "God, I offer myself to Tee – to build with me and to do with me as Tou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Ty will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Ty Power, Ty Love, and Ty Way of life. May I do Ty will always!" Now, let’s do that in current English to get the meaning without the 16th Century English. "God, I offer myself to You – to build with me and to do with me as You will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life. May I do Your will always!" If you have a more personal way to phrase this Prayer, so that it is clear to you and you mean the words, you have an obligation to make this Prayer as strong as you can.

If you don’t know an answer, don’t claim that you do. You can always help someone fnd an answer you do not already have. You can help them fnd someone who can answer their questions. You aren’t expected to know everything. Remember that a lot of the newcomer’s early objections to AA are based on information from people who may not be fans of AA, or may be a result of fear of admitting there might be answers of which the newcomer do not already have. Sometimes, it can also be useful to ask if the answer to the question has anything to do with getting and staying clean and sober. If they do not get the

– 251 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition answer they like, will it justify staying drunk and high with all that means in their own life and the lives of the people they aﬀect? Or a newcomer’s arguments may even a delaying tactic – a distraction to avoid the serious self appraisal required to defate the Ego. Tey may require some time to believe they are going to be able to take the actions to repair past damage and become a new and useful member of the society in which they fnd themselves.

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The Work Curriculum

Build Your Arch

For the frst ffteen years of my Recovery, the internet was not much of a thing. I used email, but websites were strange and alien things that other people made. And archives were just starting to appear, brimming with fles of art and poetry and writings and research and more. In time, web pages began to appear on every possible topic. Including Recovery. And in one of these I found this image.

I understood the intent. I understood that the artist wanted to repesent the arch through which we will walk into the new life, given to us by Recovery. But I am a problem child and my only thought was “How can you build an arch like that?”

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It looked to me like this arch would fall down around the First Step. Before the First Step. It would fall apart about the point of the empty stone above ‘Notes’ on the left side. So I wondered how I could build an arch that did not fall down. A lasting arch that represented the work I was doing through the Steps, using the Tools, and keeping the structure, the combination of spirituality and action, topped by the three “maintenance” Steps: Ten, Eleven and Twelve. I found a way to make my arch9. Maybe you will be able to use it. Maybe you will build your own arch. An arch that makes sense to you and gives you lasting peace and shelter.

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The Work Curriculum

Why Carry This Message?

Te best way to learn a subject, no matter what that subject may be, is to teach that subject to others. As you teach, as you share, as you Sponsor, you reap the benefts. Maybe the one to whom you carry the message does not succeed, but you do! You “carry this message” to ensure your own Recovery. Repeatedly the story returns to where someone fnds Sobriety and begins a life in Recovery, but maintains a basic attitude of selfshness - “I got mine – you’re on your own.” And those people show up in the familiar story of a Relapse. Even if you are not working closely with one person as a “Sponsor” you can share your Recovery with them as a friend. Tey may listen to you as they would not listen to anyone else. As with Step One - the Step Twelve success is based on “We.” Working with others, actively supporting the meetings and service structure, donating, and doing Service are the ways we improve our own understanding of Recovery. We get more by giving it away.

Tis chart from the National Training Laboratories may help you understand.

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– 257 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

primarypurpose.org

That Ain’t in the Book!

We hear a lot of stuff said in meetings that can't be reconciled with the Program as described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. What follows are some of the things we often hear, along with what the 1st Edition of our basic text has to say on the subject. Tis list includes the corresponding page and paragraph from the Big Book that deals with the subject. "Remember your last drunk." "We are unable, at times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the frst drink." Page 24 “I choose not to drink today." "Te fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink." Page 24 "Play the tape all the way through." "Te almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts do occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. Tere is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove." Page 24 "Tink through the drink." "Once more: Te alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the frst drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power." Page 43

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"I will always be recovering, never recovered." "Te Story of How Many Tousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism" Title Page "Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body.” Page 20 "We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." Forward, First Edition "Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered." Page 132 "We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others." Page 132 “We are all just an arm’s length away from a drink.” "And we have ceased fghting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot fame. We react sanely and normally, and we will fnd that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! Tat is the miracle of it. We are not fghting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us." Page 84 "I don't have an alcohol problem, I have a living problem." "In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete." Page xxiv "Don't drink and go to meetings." “Many of us felt we had plenty of character. Tere was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. Tis is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.” Page 34

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"Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not." Page 34 "Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. Te feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined." Page 17 "Tis is a selfsh program." "Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." Page 20 "Helping others is the foundation stone of your Recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. " Page 97 "For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifce for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead." Page 14-15 "Selfshness, self-centeredness! Tat, we think, is the root of our troubles." Page 62 "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. Tey arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfshness. We must, or it kills us!" Page 62 "Meeting makers make it." "Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of Recovery." Page 59 "I'm powerless over people, places, and things." "We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others." Page 132

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" Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. " Page 122 "Te alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfsh and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough." Page 89 "You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confdence when others fail." Page 103 "You're in the right place." "Ten we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may fnd it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention." "If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him." Page 20-21 "We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition." Page 31 "Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. Tis world is full of people like him. Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while." Page 92

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"If you are satisfed that he is a real alcoholic." "If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience." Page 95 "If an alcoholic wants to get sober, nothing you say can make him drink." "A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it." Page 103 "We must change playmates, playgrounds, and playthings." "Assuming we are spiritually ft, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!" Page 100-101 "I'm a people pleaser. I need to learn to take care of myself." "Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind?" Page 61 "Don't drink, even if your ass falls off." or "Don't drink, no matter what." “Many of us felt we had plenty of character. Tere was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. Tis is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.” Page 34 "I haven't had a drink today, so I'm a complete success today." "Te elimination of drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs.” Page 19

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"It's my opinion that..." or "I don't know anything about the Big Book, but this is the way I do it..." "We have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shall bring to the task our combined experience and knowledge. Tis should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem." Page 19 "We need to give up planning; it doesn't work." "On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while." Page 86 "I have a choice to not drink today." "We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better." Page 30 "If all I do is stay sober today, then it's been a good day." "Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn't. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated." Page 82 "We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough." Page 82

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"You don't need a shrink. You have an alcoholic personality. All you will ever need is in the frst 164 pages of the Big Book." "But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fne doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Teir services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward." Page 133 “AA is the only way to stay sober." “If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us.” Page 95 “Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.” Page 164 “My Sponsor told me that, if in making amends I would be harmed, I could consider myself as one of the ‘others’ in Step Nine.” “Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to fnd a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences might be.” Page 79 "I need to forgive myself frst." or "You need to be good to yourself." “Te rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.” Page 74 "Take what you want and leave the rest." "Te tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out upon which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. Tis is the great news this book carries to those who suﬀer from alcoholism." Page 17 "Just do the next right thing." "We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision." Page 86

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"Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas." Page 87 "Don't make any major decisions for the frst year." (a) – Tat we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (b) – Tat probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (c) – Tat God could and would if He were sought. Being convinced, we were at Step Tree, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him." Page 60 "When ready, we say something like this: ’My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.’ We have then completed Step Seven." Page 76 "Stay out of relationships for the frst year!" "We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct." Page . 69 "In Meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specifc matter. Te right answer will come if we want it." Page 69 "God alone can judge our sex situation. Page 69 "Counsel with other persons is often desirable, but we let God be the fnal judge." Page 69-70 "We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing." Page 70 "Alcohol was my drug of choice." "Te fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink." Page 24 "Keep coming back, eventually it will rub off on you." "Tough our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us" Page 64

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"Ninety Meetings in Ninety Days." "We meet frequently so that newcomers may fnd the fellowship they seek." Page 15 “None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its eﬀectiveness would be increased if we did." Page 19

"Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of Recovery." Page 59 "You only work one step a year." or "Take your time to work the steps." “What often takes place in a few months can hardly be brought about by himself alone." Page 569 "Next we launched on a course of vigorous action." Page 63 "If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the frst opportunity" Page 74 "Returning home we fnd a place where we can be quiet for AN HOUR, carefully reviewing what we have done." "Make sure to put something good about yourself in your 4th Step Inventory." Page 75 "First, we searched out the faws in our make-up which caused our failure." Page 64 "Te Inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them." Page 71 "If you have already made a decision, and an Inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning." Page 67 "You need to stay in those feelings and really feel them." Page 84 "When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them." Page. 125

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Notes and Essays

Tese short snippets are introductions to the rich lore of AA/ Twelve Step history and personal observations on the process of Twelve Step Recovery. Dozens of excellent books and websites are available to give you a more substantive education in the viewpoints, documentations and even the disagreements over the details of our history. It has not been the purpose of this book to present the ‘One Truth’ of the Program and the process of Recovery, but to share with you the varieties of experience and diﬀerent, sometimes opposing, positions taken by various reporters and historians.

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Fort Worth, Texas, 6/12/54

How the Big Book Was Put Together

A TALK BY BILL WILSON

AA Co-Founder Bill Wilson I think I’m on the bill for tonight’s show with a talk on the 12 Traditions of AA. But you know drunks, like women, have the prerogative, or at least seize the prerogative of changing their minds - I’m not going to make any such damn talk! For something very festive I think the Traditions 1-12 would be a little too grim, might bore you a little. As a matter of fact, speaking of Traditions, when they were frst written back there in 1945 or 1946 as tentative guides to help us hang together and function, nobody paid any attention except a few "againers" who wrote me and asked what the hell are they about? Nobody paid the slightest attention. But, little by little as these Traditions got around we had our clubhouse squabbles, our little rifts, this diﬃculty and

– 268 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition that, it was found that the Traditions indeed did refect experience and were guiding principles. So, they took hold a little more and a little more and a little more so that today the average AA coming in the door learns at once what they’re about; about what kind of an outft he really has landed in and by what principles his group and AA as a whole are governed. But, as I say, the dickens with all that. I would like to just spin some yarn and they will be a series of yarns which cluster around the preparation of the good old AA bible and when I hear that it always makes me shudder because the guys who put it together weren’t a damn bit biblical. I think sometimes some of the drunks have an idea that these old timers went around with almost visible halos and long gowns and they were full of sweetness and light. Oh boy, how inspired they were, oh yes. But wait till I tell you. I suppose the book yarn really started in the living room of Doc and Annie Smith. As you know, I landed there in the summer of ‘35, a little group caught hold. I helped Smithy briefy with it and he went on to found the frst AA group in the world. And, as with all new groups, it was nearly all failure, but now and then, somebody saw the light and there was progress. Pampered, I got back to New York, a little more experienced group started there, and by the time we got around to 1937, this thing had leaped over into Cleveland, and began to move south from New York. But, it was still, we thought in those years, fying blind, a fickering candle indeed, that might at any moment be snuﬀed out. So, on this late fall afternoon in 1937, Smithy and I were talking together in his living room, Anne sitting there, when we began to count noses. How many people had stayed dry; in Akron, in New York, maybe a few in Cleveland? How many had stayed dry and for how long? And when we added up the total, it sure was a handful of, I don’t know, 35 to 40 maybe. But enough time had elapsed on enough really fatal cases of alcoholism, so that we grasped the importance of these small statistics. Bob and I saw for the frst time that this thing was going to succeed. Tat God in his providence and mercy had thrown a new light into the dark caves where we and our kind had been and were still by the millions dwelling. I can never forget the elation and ecstasy that seized us both. And when we sat happily talking and refecting, we refected, that well, a couple of score of drunks were sober but this had taken three long years. Tere had been an immense amount of failure and a long time had been taken just to sober up the

– 269 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition handful. How could this handful carry its message to all those who still didn’t know? Not all the drunks in the world could come to Akron or New York. But how could we transmit our message to them, and by what means? Maybe we could go to the old timers in each group, but that meant nearly everybody, to fnd the sum of money - somebody else’s money, of course and say to them "Well now, take a sabbatical year oﬀ your job if you have one, and you go to Kentucky, Omaha, Chicago, San Francisco and Los Angeles and where ever it may be and you give this thing a year and get a group started." It had already become evident by then that we were just about to be moved out of the City Hospital in Akron to make room for people with broken legs and ailing livers; that the hospitals were not too happy with us. We tried to run their business perhaps too much, and besides, drunks were apt to be noisy in the night and there were other inconveniences, which were all tremendous. So, it was obvious that because of drunks being such unlovely creatures, we would have to have a great chain of hospitals. And as that dream burst upon me, it sounded good, because you see, I’d been down in Wall Street in the promotion business and I remember the great sums of money that were made as soon as people got this chain idea. You know, chain drug stores, chain grocery stores, chain dry good stores. Tat evening Bob and I told them that we were within sight of success and that we thought this thing might go on and on and on, that a new light indeed was shining in our dark world. But how could this light be a refection and transmitted without being distorted and garbled? At this point, they turned the meeting over to me, and being a salesman, I set right to work on the drunk tanks and subsidies for the missionaries, I was pretty poor then. We touched on the book. Te group conscience consisted of 18 men good and true. And the good and true men, you could see right away, were dammed skeptical about it all. Almost with one voice, they chorused "let’s keep it simple, this is going to bring money into this thing, this is going to create a professional class. We’ll all be ruined." "Well," I countered, "that’s a pretty good argument. Lots to what you say... but even within gunshot of this very house, alcoholics are dying like fies. And if this thing doesn’t move any faster than it has in the last three years, it may be another 10 before it gets to the outskirts of Akron. How in God’s name are we going to carry this message to others? We’ve got to take some kind of chance.

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We can’t keep it so simple it becomes anarchy and gets complicated. We can’t keep it so simple that it won’t propagate itself, and we’ve got to have a lot of money to do these things." So, exerting myself to the utmost, which was considerable in those days, we fnally got a vote in that little meeting and it was a mighty close vote by just a majority of maybe 2 or 3. Te meeting said with some reluctance, "Well Bill, if we need a lot of dough, you better go back to New York where there’s plenty of it and you raise it." Well, boy, that was the word that I’d been waiting for. So I scrammed back to the great city and I began to approach some people of means describing this tremendous thing that had happened. And it didn’t seem so tremendous to the people of means at all. What? 35 or 40 drunks sober up? Tey have sobered them up before now, you know. And besides, Mr. Wilson, don’t you think it’s kind of sweeping up the shavings? I mean, wouldn’t something for the Red Cross be better? In other words, with all of my ardent solicitations, I got one hell of a freeze from the gentlemen of wealth. Well, I began to get blue and when I begin to get blue my stomach kicks up as well as other things. I was lying in the bed one night with an imaginary ulcer attack (this used to happen all the time - I had one the time the 12 steps were written) and I said, "My God, we’re starving to death here on Clinton Street." By this time the house was full of drunks. Tey were eating us out of house and home. In those days we never believed in charging anybody anything - so Lois was earning the money, I was being the missionary and the drunks were eating the meals. "Tis can’t go on. We’ve got to have those drunk tanks, we’ve got to have those missionaries, and we’ve got to have a book. Tat’s for sure." Te next morning I crawled into my clothes and I called on my brother-in- law. He’s a doctor and he is about the last person who followed my trip way down. Te only one, save of course, the Lord. "Well," I said, "I’ll go up and see Leonard." So I went up to see my brother-in-law Leonard and he pried out a little time between patients coming in there. I started my awful bellyache about these rich guys who wouldn’t give us any dough for this great and glorious enterprise. It seemed to me he knew a girl and I think she had an uncle that somehow was tied up with the Rockefeller oﬃces. I asked him to call and see if there was

– 271 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition such a man and if there was, would he see us. On what slender threads our destiny sometimes hangs. So, the call was made. Instantly there came onto the other end of the wire the voice of dear Willard Richardson - one of the loveliest Christian gentlemen I have ever known. And the moment he recognized my brother-in-law he said, "Why Leonard, where have you been all these years?” Well, my brother-in-law, unlike me, is a man of very few words, so he quickly said to dear old Uncle Willard, he had a brother-in-law who had apparently some success sobering up drunks and could the two of us come over there and see him. "Why certainly," said dear Willard. "Come right over." So we go over to Rockefeller Plaza. We go up that elevator - 54 fights or 56 I guess it was, and we walk promptly into Mr. Rockefeller’s personal oﬃces, and ask to see Mr. Richardson. Here sits this lovely, benign old gentleman, who nevertheless had a kind of shrewd twinkle in his eye. So I sat down and told him about our exciting discovery, this terrifc cure for alcoholics that had just hit the world, how it worked and what we have done for them. And, boy, this was the frst receptive man with money or access to money - remember we were in Mr. Rockefeller’s personal oﬃces at this point - and by now, we had learned that this was Mr. Rockefeller’s closest personal friend. So he said, "I’m very interested. Would you like to have lunch with me, Mr. Wilson?" Well, now you know, for a rising promoter, that sounded pretty good - going to have lunch with the best friends of John D. Tings were looking up. My ulcer attack disappeared. So I had lunch with the old gentleman and we went over this thing again and again and, boy, he’s so warm and kindly and friendly. Right at the close of the lunch he said, "Well now Mr. Wilson or Bill, if I can call you that, wouldn’t you like to have a luncheon meeting with some of my friends? Tere’s Frank Amos, he’s in the advertising business but he was on a committee that recommended that Mr. Rockefeller drop the prohibition business. And there’s Leroy Chipman, he looks after Mr. Rockefeller’s real estate. And there’s Mr. Scotty, Chairman of the Board of the Riverside Church and a number of other people like that. I believe they’d like to hear this story."

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So a meeting was arranged and it fell upon a winter’s night in 1937. And the meeting was held at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. We called in, posthaste, a couple of drunks from Akron - Smithy included, of course - heading the procession. I came in with the New York contingent of four or fve. And to our astonishment we were ushered into Mr., Rockefeller’s personal boardroom right next to his oﬃce. I thought to myself "Well, now this is really getting hot." And indeed I felt very much warmed when I was told by Mr. Richardson that I was sitting in a chair just vacated by Mr. Rockefeller. I said "Well, now, we really are getting close to the bankroll." Old Doc Silkworth was there that night too, and he testifed what he had seen happen to these new friends of ours, and each drunk, thinking of nothing better to say, told their stories of drinking and recovering and these folk listened. Tey seemed very defnitely impressed. I could see that the moment for the big touch was coming. So, I gingerly brought up the subject of the drunk tanks, the subsidized missionaries, and the big question of a book or literature. Well, God moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. It didn’t look like a wonder to me when Mr. Scott, head of a large engineering frm and Chairman of the Riverside Church, looked at us and said "Gentlemen, up to this point, this has been the work of goodwill only. No plan, no property, no paid people, just one carrying the good news to the next. Isn’t that true? And may it not be that that is where the great power of this society lies? Now, if we subsidize it, might it not alter its whole character? We want to do all we can, we’re gathered for that, but would it be wise?" Well then, the salesmen all gave Mr. Scott the rush and we said, "Why, Mr. Scott, there’re only 40 of us. It’s taken 3 years. Why millions, Mr. Scott, will rot before this thing ever gets to them unless we have money and lots of it." And we made our case at last with these gentlemen for the missionaries, the drunk tanks and the book. So one of them volunteered to investigate us very carefully, and since poor old Dr. Bob was harder up than I was, and since the frst group and the reciprocal community was in Akron, we directed their attention out there. Frank Amos, still a trustee in the Foundation, at his own expense, got on a train, went out to Akron and made all sorts of preliminary inquiries around town about Dr. Bob. All the reports were good except that he was a drunk that recently got sober. He visited the little meeting out there. He went to the Smith house and he came back with what he thought was a very modest proposal.

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He recommended to these friends of ours that we should have at least a token amount of money at frst, say $50,000, something like that. Tat would clear up the mortgage on Smith’s place. It would get us a little rehabilitation place. We could put Dr. Smith in charge. We could subsidize a few of these people briefy, until we got some more money. We could start the chain of hospitals. We’d have a few missionaries. We could get busy on the book, all for a mere 50,000 bucks. Well, considering the kind of money we were backed up against, that did sound a little small, but, you know, one thing leads to another and it sounded real good. We were real glad. Mr. Willard Richardson, our original contact, then took that report into John D. Jr. as everybody recalls. And I’ve since heard what went on in there. Mr. Rockefeller read the report, called Willard Richardson and thanked him and said: "Somehow I am strangely stirred by all this. Tis interests me immensely." And then looking at his friend Willard, he said, "But isn’t money going to spoil this thing? I’m terribly afraid that it would. And yet I am so strangely stirred by it." Ten came another turning point in our destiny. When that man whose business is giving away money said to Willard Richardson, "No," he said, “I won’t be the one to spoil this thing with money. You say these two men who are heading it are a little ‘stressed’, I’ll put $5,000 in the Riverside Church treasury. Tose folks can form themselves into a committee and draw on it, as they like. I want to hear what goes on. But, please don’t ask me for any more money." Well, with ffty thousand that then was shrunk to fve, we raised the mortgage on Smithy’s house for about three grand. Tat left two and Smith and I commenced chewing on that too. Well, that was a long way from a string of drunk tanks and books. What in thunder would we do? Well, we had more meetings with our newfound friends, Amos, Richardson, Scott, Chipman and those fellows who stuck with us to this day, some of them now gone. And, in spite of Mr. Rockefeller’s advice, we again convinced these folks that this thing needed a lot of money. What could we do without it? So, one of them proposed, "Well, why don’t we form a foundation, something like the Rockefeller Foundation?" I said, "I hope it will be like that with respect to money." And then one of them got a free lawyer from a frm who was interested in the thing. And we all asked him to draw up an agreement of trust, a charter for something to be called the Alcoholic Foundation. Why we picked that one, I

– 274 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition don’t know. I don’t know whether the Foundation was alcoholic, it was the Alcoholic Foundation, not the Alcoholics Foundation. And the lawyer was very much confused because in the meeting, which formed the Foundation, we made it very plain that we did not wish to be in the majority. We felt that there should be non-alcoholics on the board and they ought to be in a majority of one. "Well, indeed," said the lawyer, "What is the diﬀerence between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic?" And one of our smart drunks said, "Tat’s a cinch, a non-alcoholic is a guy who can drink and an alcoholic is a guy who can’t drink." "Well," said the lawyer, "how do we state that legally?" We didn’t know. So at length, we have a foundation and a board which I think then was about seven, consisting of four of these new friends, including my brother-in-law, Mr. Richardson, Chipman, Amos and some of us drunks. I think Smithy went on the board but I kind of coyly stayed oﬀ it thinking it would be more convenient later on. So we had this wonderful new foundation. Tese friends, unlike Mr. Rockefeller, were sold on the idea that we needed a lot of dough, and so our salesmen around New York started to solicit some money, again, from the very rich. We had a list of them and we had credentials from friends of Mr. John D. Rockefeller. "How could you miss, I ask you, salesmen?" Te Foundation had been formed in the spring of 1938 and all summer we solicited the rich. Well, they were either in Florida or they preferred the Red Cross, or some of them thought that drunks were disgusting and we didn’t get one damn cent in the whole summer of 1938, praise God! Well, meantime, we began to hold trustee meetings and they were commiseration sessions on getting no dough. What with the mortgage and with me and Smithy eating away at it, the fve grand had gone up the fu, and we were all stone-broke again. Smithy couldn’t get his practice back either because he was a surgeon and nobody likes to be carved up by an alcoholic surgeon - even if he was three years sober. So things were tough all around, no fooling. Well, what would we do? One day, probably in August 1938, I produced at a Foundation meeting, a couple of chapters of a proposed book along with some recommendations of a couple of doctors down at Johns Hopkins to try to put the bite on the rich. And we still had these two book chapters kicking around. Frank Amos said, "Well

– 275 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition now, I know the religious editor down there at Harpers, an old friend of mine, Gene Exman." He said, "Why don’t you take these two book chapters, your story and the introduction to the book, down there and show them to Gene and see what he thinks about them." So I took the chapters down. To my great surprise, Gene who was to become a great friend of ours, looked at the chapters and said, "Why Mr. Wilson, could you write a whole book like this?" "Well,” I said, "Sure, sure." Tere was more talk about it. I guess he went in and showed it to Mr. Canfeld, the big boss, and another meeting was had. Te upshot was that Harpers intimated that they would pay me as the budding author, ffteen hundred in advance royalties, bringing enough money in to enable me to fnish the book. I felt awful good about that. It made me feel like I was an author or something. I felt real good about it but after a while, not so good. Because I began to reason, and so did the other boys, if this guy Wilson eats up the ffteen hundred bucks while he’s doing this book, after the book gets out, it will take a long time to catch up. And if this thing gets him publicity, what are we going to do with the inquiries? And, after all, what’s a lousy 10% royalty anyway? Te ffteen hundred still looked pretty big to me. Ten we thought too, now here’s a fne publisher like Harpers, but if this book if and when done, should prove to be the main textbook for AA, why would we want our main means of propagation in the hands of somebody else? Shouldn’t we control this thing? At this point, the book project really began. I had a guy helping me on this thing who had red hair and ten times my energy and he was some promoter. He said, "Bill, this is something, come on with me." We walk into a stationery store, we buy a pad of blank stock certifcates and we write across the top of them ‘Works Publishing Company’- Par Value Twenty-fve Dollars. So we take the pad of these stock certifcates, (of course we didn’t bother to incorporate it, that didn’t happen for several more years) we took this pad of stock certifcates to the frst AA meeting where you shouldn’t mix money with spirituality. We said to the drunks "Look, this thing is gonna be a cinch. Parker will take a third of this thing for services rendered. I, the author will take a third for services rendered, and you can have a third of these stock

– 276 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition certifcates par 25 if you’ll just start paying up on your stock. If you only want one share, it’s only fve dollars a month, 5 months, see?" And the drunks all gave us this stony look that said, "What the hell? You mean to say you’re only asking us to buy stock in a book that you ain’t written yet?" "Why sure," we said. "If Harpers will put money in this thing why shouldn’t you? Harpers said it’s gonna be a good book." But the drunks still gave us this stony stare. We had to think up some more arguments. "We’ve been looking at pricing costs of the books, boys. We get a book here, ya know, 400 or 450 pages, it ought to sell for about $3.50." Now back in those days we found on inquiry from the printers that that $3.50 book could be printed for 35 cents making a 1,000% proft. Of course, we didn’t mention the other expenses, just the printing costs. "So boys, just think on it, when these books move out by the carload we will be printing them for 35 cents and we’ll be selling them direct mail for $3.50. How can you lose?" Te drunks still gave us this stony stare. No salt. Well, we fgured we had to have a better argument than that. Harpers said it was a good book, you can print them for 35 cents and sell them for $3.50, but how are we going to convince the drunks that we could move carload lots of them? Millions of dollars. So we get the idea we’ll go up to the Reader’s Digest, and we got an appointment with Mr. Kenneth Paine, the managing editor there. Gee, I never forget the day we got oﬀ the train up at Pleasantville and were ushered into his oﬃce. We excitedly told him the story of this wonderful budding society. We dwelled upon the friendship of Mr. Rockefeller and Harry Emerson Fosdick. You know we were traveling in good company with Paine. Te society, by the way, was about to publish a textbook, then in the process of being written and we were wondering, Mr. Paine, if this wouldn’t be a matter of tremendous interest to the Reader’s Digest? Having in mind of course that the Reader’s Digest has a circulation of 12 million readers and if we could only get a free ad of this coming book in the Digest we really would move something, ya see? "Well," Mr. Paine said, "this sounds extremely interesting, I like this idea, why I think it’ll be an absolutely ideal piece for the Digest. How soon do you think this new book will be out Mr. Wilson?"

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I said, "We’ve got a couple of chapters written, ahem, if we can get right at it, Mr. Paine, uh, you know, uh, probably uh, this being October, we ought to get this thing out by April or next May. Why?" Mr. Paine said, "I’m sure the Digest would like a thing like this. Mr. Wilson, I’ll take it up with the editorial board, and when the time is right and you get already to shoot, come up and we’ll put a special feature writer on this thing and we’ll tell all about your society." And then my promoter friend said, "But Mr. Paine, will you mention the new book in the piece?" "Yes," said Mr. Paine, "we will mention the book." Well, that was all we needed, we went back to the drunks and said, "now look, boys, there are positively millions in this - how can you miss? Harpers says it’s going to be a good book. We buy them for 35 cents from the printer, we sell them for $3.50 and the Reader’s Digest is going to give us a free ad in its piece and boys, those books will move out by the carload. How can you miss? And after all, we only need four or fve thousand bucks." So we began to sell the shares of Works Publishing, not yet incorporated, par value $25 and at $5 per month to the poor people. Some people bought as few as one and one guy bought ten shares. We sold a few shares to non-alcoholics and my promoter friend who was to get one-third interest was a very important man in this transaction because he went out and kept collecting the money from the drunks so that little Ruthie Hock and I could keep working on the book and Lois could have some groceries (even though she was still working in that department store). So, the preparation started and some more chapters were done and we went to AA meetings in New York with these chapters in the rough. It wasn’t like chicken-in-the-rough; the boys didn’t eat those chapters up at all. I suddenly discovered that I was in this terrifc whirlpool of arguments. I was just the umpire - I fnally had to stipulate. "Well boys, over here you got the Holy Rollers who say we need all the good old-fashioned stuﬀ in the book, and over here you tell me we’ve got to have a psychological book, and that never cured anybody, and they didn’t do very much with us in the missions, so I guess you will have to leave me just to be the umpire. I’ll scribble out some roughs here and show them to you and let’s get the comments in."

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So we fought, bled and died our way through one chapter after another. We sent them out to Akron and they were peddled around and there were terrifc hassles about what should go in this book and what should not. Meanwhile, we set drunks up to write their stories or we had newspaper people to write the stories for them to go in the back of the book. We had an idea that we’d have a text and all and then we’d have stories all about the drunks who were staying sober. Ten came that night when we were up around Chapter 5. As you know I’d gone on about myself, which was natural after all. And then the little introductory chapter and we dealt with the agnostic and we described alcoholism, but, boy, we fnally got to the point where we really had to say what the book was all about and how this deal works. As I told you this was a six-step program then. On this particular evening, I was lying in bed on Clinton Street wondering what the deuce this next chapter would be about. Te idea came to me: Well, we need a defnite statement of concrete principles that these drunks can’t wiggle out of. Can’t be any wiggling out of this deal at all. And this six-step program had two big gaps in-between they’ll wiggle out of. Moreover if this book goes out to distant readers, they have to have, got to have an absolutely explicit program by which to go. Tis was while I was thinking these thoughts, while my imaginary ulcer was paining me and while I was mad as hell at these drunks because the money was coming in too slow. Some had the stock and weren’t paying up. A couple of guys came in and they gave me a big argument and we yelled and shouted and I fnally went down and laid on the bed with my ulcer and I said, "Poor me." Tere was a pad of paper by the bed and I reached for that and said, "You’ve got to break this program up into small pieces so they can’t wiggle out. So I started writing, trying to bust it up into little pieces. And when I got the pieces set down on that piece of yellow paper, I put numbers on them and was rather agreeably surprised when it came out to twelve. I said, "Tat’s a good signifcant fgure in Christianity and mystic lore.” Ten I noticed that instead of leaving the God idea to the last, I’d got it up front but I didn’t pay much attention to that, it looked pretty good. Well, the next meeting comes along; I’d gone on beyond the steps trying to amplify them in the rest of that chapter to the meeting and boy, pandemonium broke loose.

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"What do you mean by changing the program, what about this, what about that, this thing is overloaded with God. We don’t like this, you’ve got these guys on their knees - stand them up! A lot of these drunks are scared to death of being Godly, let’s take God out of it entirely." Such were the arguments that we had. Out of that terrifc hassle came the Twelve Steps. Tat argument caused the introduction of the phrase that has been a lifesaver to thousands; it was certainly none of my doing. I was on the pious side then, you see, still suffering from this big hot fash of mine. T e idea of "God as you understand Him" came out of that perfectly ferocious argument and we put that in. Well, little by little things ground on, little by little the drunks put in money and we kept an office open in Newark, which was the office of a defunct business where I tried to establish my friend. Te money ran low at times and Ruthie Hock worked for no pay. We gave her plenty of stock in the Works Publishing of course. All you had to do is tear it off the pad, par 25 have a week’s salary, dear. So, we got around to about January 1939. Somebody said, "Hadn’t we better test this thing out; hadn’t we better make a pre-publication copy, a Multilith or mimeographed copy of this text and a few of the personal stories that had come in - try it out on the preacher, on the doctor, the Catholic Committee on Publications, psychiatrists, policemen, fshwives, housewives, drunks, everybody. Just to see if we’ve got anything that goes against the grain anyplace and also to fnd out if we can’t get some better ideas here?" So at considerable expense, we got this pre-publication copy made; we peddled it around and comments came back, some of them very helpful. It went, among other places, to the Catholic Committee on Publications in New York and at that time we had only one Catholic member to take it there and he had just gotten out of the asylum and hadn’t had anything to do with preparing the book. Te book passed inspection and the stories came in. Somehow we got them edited; somehow we got the galleys together. We got up to the printing time. Meanwhile, the drunks had been kind of slow on those subscription payments and a little further on I was able to go up to Charlie Towns where old Doc Silkworth held forth. Charlie believed in us so we put the slug on to Charlie for 2,500 bucks. Charlie didn’t want any stocks; he wanted a promissory note on the book not yet written.

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So, we got the $2,500 from Charlie routed around through the Alcoholic Foundation so that it could be tax exempt. Also, we had blown $6,000 in these nine months in supporting the three of us in an oﬃce and the till was getting low. We still had to get this book printed. So, we go up to Cornwall Press, which is the largest printer in the world, where we’d made previous inquiries and we asked about printing and they said they’d be glad to do it and how many books would we like? We said that was hard to estimate. Of course our membership is very small at the present time and we wouldn’t sell many to the membership but after all, the Reader’s Digest is going to print a plug about it to its two million readers. Tis book should go out in carloads when it’s printed. Te printer was none other than dear old Mr. Blackwell, one of our Christian friends and Mr. Blackwell said, "How much of a down payment are you going to make? How many books would you like printed?" "Well," we said, "we’ll be conservative, let’s print 5,000 just to start with." Mr. Blackwell asked us what we were going to use for money. We said that we wouldn’t need much; just a few hundred dollars on account would be all right. I told you; after all, we’re traveling in very good company, friends of Mr. Rockefeller and all that. So, Blackwell started printing the 5,000 books; the plates were made and the galleys were read. Gee, all of a sudden we thought of the Reader’s Digest, so we go up to there, walk in on Mr. Kenneth Paine and say, "We’re all ready to shoot." And Mr. Paine replies "Shoot what - Oh yes, I remember you two, Mr. Marcus and Mr. Wilson. You gentlemen were here last fall. I told you the Reader’s Digest would be interested in this new work and in your book. Well, right after you were here, I consulted our editorial board and to my great surprise they didn’t like the idea at all and I forgot to tell you!" Oh boy, we had the drunks with 5,000 bucks in it, Charlie Towns hooked for 2,500 bucks and $2,500 on the cuﬀ with the printer. Tere was $500 left in the bank, what in the deuce would we do? Morgan Ryan, the good-looking Irishman who had taken the book over to the Catholic Committee on Publication, had been in an earlier time a good ad man. He said that he knew Gabriel Heatter. "Gabriel is putting on these three minute heart to heart programs on the radio. I’ll get an interview with him and maybe he’ll interview me on the radio about all this," said Ryan.

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So, our spirits rose once again. Ten all of a sudden we had a big chill, suppose this Irishman got drunk before Heatter interviewed him? So, we went to see Heatter and lo and behold, Heatter said he would interview him and then we got still more scared. So, we rented a room in the downtown Athletic Club and we put Ryan in there with a day and night guard for ten days. Meanwhile, our spirits rose again. We could see those books just going out in carloads. Ten my promoter friend said, "Look, there should be a follow-up on a big thing like this here interview. It’ll be heard all over the country... national network. I think folks that are the market for this book are the doctors, the physicians. I suggest that we pitch the last $500 that we have in the treasury on a postal card shower, which will go to every physician east of the Rocky Mountains. On this postal card we’ll say "Hear all about Alcoholics Anonymous on Gabriel Heatter’s Program - spend $3.50 for the book Alcoholics Anonymous, sure-cure for alcoholism." So, we spent the last $500 on the postal card shower and mailed them out. Tey managed to keep Ryan sober although he since hasn’t made it. All the drunks had their ears glued to the radio. Te group market in Alcoholics Anonymous was already saturated because you see, we had 49 stockholders and they’d all gotten a book free, then we had 28 guys with stories and they all got a free book. So we had run out of the AA books. But we could see the book moving out in carloads to these doctors and their patients. Sure enough, Ryan is interviewed. Heatter pulled out the old tremolo stop and we could see the book orders coming back in carloads. Well, we just couldn’t wait to go down to old Post Office Box 658, Church Street Annex, the address printed in the back of the old books. We hung at it for about three days and then my friends Hank and Ruthie Hock and I went over and we looked in Box 658. It wasn’t a locked box; you just looked through the glass. We could see that there were a few of these postal cards. I had a terrible sinking sensation. But my friend the promoter said "Bill, they can’t put all those cards in the box, they’ve got bags full of it out there." We go to the clerk and he brings out 12 lousy postal cards, 10 of them were completely illegible, written by doctors, druggists, and monkeys? We had exactly two orders for the book Alcoholics Anonymous and we were absolutely and utterly stone-broke. Te Sheriff then moved in on the office, poor Mr. Blackwell wondered what to do for money and felt like taking the book over at that very opportune

– 282 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition moment, the house which Lois and I lived in was foreclosed and we and our furniture were set out on the street. Such was the state of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and the state of grace the Wilson’s were in in the summer of 1939. Moreover, a great cry went up from the drunks, "What about our $4,500?" Even Charlie (Towns) who was pretty well off was a little uneasy about the note for $2,500. What would we do? What could we do? We put our goods in storage on the cuff; we couldn’t even pay the drayman. An AA lent us his summer camp, another AA lent us his car, and the folks around New York began to pass the hat for groceries for the Wilson’s and supplied us with $50 per month. So, we had a lot of discontented stockholders, $50 bucks a month, a summer camp and an automobile with which to revive the failing fortunes of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. We began to shop around from one magazine to another asking if they would give us some publicity, nobody bit and it looked like the whole dump was going to be foreclosed; book, office, Wilson’s, everything. One of the boys in New York happened to be a little bit prosperous at the time and he had a fashionable clothing business on Fifth Avenue, which we learned was mostly on mortgage, having drunk nearly all of it up. His name was Bert Taylor. I went up to Bert one day and I said "Bert, there is a promise of an article in Liberty Magazine, I just got it today but it won’t come out until next September. It’s going to be called ‘Alcoholics and God’ and will be printed by Fulton Oursler the editor of Liberty Magazine. Bert, when that piece is printed, these books will go out in carload lots. We need 1,000 bucks to get us through the summer." Bert asked, "Well, are you sure that the article is going to be printed?" "Oh yes," I said, "that’s fnal." He said, "O.K., I haven’t got the dough but there’s this man down in Baltimore, Mr. Cochran, he’s a customer of mine, he buys his pants in here. Let me call him up." Bert gets on long-distance with Mr. Cochran in Baltimore, a very wealthy man, and says to him "Mr. Cochran, from time to time I mentioned this alcoholic fellowship to which I belong. Our fellowship has just come out with a magnifcent new textbook, a sure cure for alcoholism. Mr. Cochran, this is something we think every public library in America should have, and Mr. Cochran, the retail price of the book is $3.50. Mr. Cochran, if you’ll just buy a

– 283 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition couple of thousand of those books and put them in the large libraries, of course we would sell them for that purpose at a considerable discount. “Mr. Cochran, some publicity will come out next fall about this new book Alcoholics Anonymous, but in the meantime, these books are moving slowly and we need, say, $1,000 to tide us over. Would you loan the Works Publishing Company this?” Mr. Cochran asked what the balance sheet of the Works Publishing Company looked like and after he learned what it looked like he said, "No thanks." So Bert then said, "Now Mr. Cochran, you know me. Would you loan the money to me on the credit of my business?" "Why certainly," Mr. Cochran said, "send me down your note." So Bert hocked the business that a year or two later was to go broke anyway and saved the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Te $1,000 lasted until the Liberty article came out. Eight hundred inquiries came in as a result of that, we moved a few books and we barely squeaked through the year 1939. In all this period we heard nothing from John D. Rockefeller when all of a sudden, in about February 1940, Mr. Richardson came to a trustees meeting of the Foundation and announced that he had great news. We were told that Mr. Rockefeller, whom we had not heard from since 1937, had been watching us all this time with immense interest. Moreover, Mr. Rockefeller wanted to give this fellowship a dinner to which he would invite his friends to see the beginnings of this new and promising start. Mr. Richardson produced the invitation list. Listed were the President of Chase Bank, Wendell Wilkie, and all kinds of very prominent people, many of them extremely rich. I mean, after a quick look at the list I fgured it would add up to a couple of billion dollars. So, we felt maybe at least, you know, there would be some money in sight. So, the dinner came, and we got Harry Emerson Fosdick who had reviewed the AA book and he gave us a wonderful plug. Dr. Kennedy came and spoke on the medical attitudes. He’d seen a patient of his, a very hopeless gal (Marty Mann) recover. I got up, talked about life among the "anonymie," and the bankers assembled 75 strong and in great wealth, sat at the tables with the alcoholics. Te bankers had come probably for some sort of command

– 284 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition performance and they were a little suspicious that perhaps this was another prohibition deal, but they warmed up under the infuence of the alcoholics. Mr. Ryan, the hero of the Heatter episode and still sober, was asked at his table by a distinguished banker, "Why, Mr. Ryan, we presumed you were in the banking business." Ryan says, "Not at all sir, I just got out of Great Stone Asylum." Well, that intrigued the bankers and they were all warming up. Unfortunately, Mr. Rockefeller couldn’t get to the dinner. He was quite sick that night so he sent his son, a wonderful gent, Nelson Rockefeller, in his place instead. After the show was over and everyone was in fne form, we were all ready again for the big touch. Nelson Rockefeller got up and speaking for his father said, "My father sends word that he is so sorry that he cannot be here tonight, but is so glad that so many of his friends can see the beginnings of this great and wonderful thing. Something that affected his life more than almost anything that had crossed his path." A stupendous plug that was! Ten Nelson said, "Gentlemen, this is a work that proceeds on good will. It requires no money." Whereupon, the two billion dollars got up and walked out. Tat was a terrifc letdown, but we weren’t let down for too long. Again, the hand of Providence had intervened. Right after dinner, Mr. Rockefeller asked that the talks and pamphlets be published. He approached the rather defunct Works Publishing Company and said he would like to buy 400 books to send to all of the bankers who had come to the dinner and to those who had not. Seeing that this was for a good purpose, we let him have the books cheap. He bought them cheaper than anybody has since. We sold 400 books to John D. Rockefeller Jr. for one buck apiece to send to his banker friends. He sent out the books and pamphlets and with it, he wrote a personal letter and signed every doggone one of them. In this letter he stated how glad he was that his friends had been able to see the great beginning of what he thought would be a wonderful thing, how deeply it had affected him and then he added (unfortunately) "Gentlemen, this is a work of goodwill. It needs little, if any, money. I am giving these good people $1,000." So, the bankers all received Mr. Rockefeller’s letter and counted it up on the cuff. Well, if John D. is giving $1,000, me with only a few million should send

– 285 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition these boys about $10! One who had an alcoholic relative in tow sent us $300. So, with Mr. Rockefeller’s $1,000 plus the solicitation of all the rest of these bankers, we got together the princely sum of $3,000 which was the frst outside contribution of the Alcoholic Foundation. Te $3,000 was divided equally between Smithy and me so that we could keep going somehow. We solicited that dinner list for fve years and got about $3,000 a year for fve years. At the end of that time, we were able to say to Mr. Rockefeller, "We don’t need any more money. Te book income is helping to support our office, the groups are contributing to fll in and the royalties are taking care of Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson." Now you see Mr. Rockefeller’s decision not to give us money was a blessing. He gave of himself. He gave of himself when he was under public ridicule for his views about alcohol. He said to the whole world "this is good." Te story went out on the wires all over the world. People ran into the bookstores to get the new book and boy, we really began to get some book orders. An awful lot of inquiries came into the little office at Vessy Street. T e book money began to pay Ruth. We hired one more to help. Tere was Ruthie, another gal and I. And then came Jack Alexander with his terrifc article in the Saturday Evening Post. Ten an immense lot of inquiries… 6,000 or 7,000 of them. Alcoholics Anonymous had become a national institution. Such is the story of the preparation of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and of its subsequent effect you all have some notion. Te proceeds of that book have repeatedly saved the office in New York. But, it isn’t the money that has come out of it that matters; it is the message that it carried. Tat transcended the mountains and the sea and is even at this moment, lighting candles in dark caverns and on distant beaches.

Tis article is a transcript of the talk given by Bill Wilson in Dallas, TX. Te actual recording is available at http://sponsormagazine.info/reader.html.

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Early Recovery Rates

In great angst and superiority, old timers complain that we are doing things wrong - that in the beginning, AA had a 75% success rate. Today various current Recovery rates run between 5% and 35% (depending on the source or the viewpoint of the speaker). Te frst question that is raised in this argument is how the statistics on an anonymous Recovery group were collected. Various numbers and percentages are thrown about regarding the number represented by this growth. But how do we draw numbers from simple requests from the New York oﬃce. We have to assume: Tat the voluntary responses were accurate (would anyone in Recovery fudge numbers, make their numbers larger to show how well they were doing, or report low end so as not to appear prideful?); Tat all of the groups responded; Tat the changing population within the group would relfect accurate numbers, likely to change within days of mailing a response to New York; Tat existing groups would remain in existence (and if a group died, did they report that as well?); Tat all new groups were reporting; It must also be remembered that early AA was not like the current fellowship. Members could only be admitted to the fellowship after a medical detox. Te frst time someone wanted to join who had not gone through the medical detox was a source of great confict. Early members were almost exclusively older, white, professional males. Tese were the “upper crust” of society the Oxford Group attracted. When the frst women came to get sober, it was controversial. Te frst African-American

– 287 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition was a transvestite drug addict who wanted to get sober and single-handedly kicked down the door so that many minorities were able to join the fellowship, although he himself did not stay sober. Before going to the frst meeting, you had to have a Sponsor and have done the work of what we would now call the frst six steps. So the early success rate is counting only people who; Were male (later joined by a few women); Were white; Were from the upper classes; Had gone through a medical detox; Who knew “someone who knew someone” to locate and get into a meeting (and there were only two meetings anywhere at the time - Akron and New York); Were Protestant Christian, or willing to become one (most early Oxford Group members were Episcopal, Lutheran, or Methodist); Had already admitted their alcoholism; Had found their personal Higher Power or concept of God; Had already turned their life over to the care of that concept of God; Had detailed their previous misdeeds and actions in an Inventory; Had shared that Inventory with their Sponsor; Had come to see their own defects in what had gone wrong in their life. At that point, they were admitted to their frst meeting, on their knees in Prayer to have their defects removed, and subject to the approval of the existing members of the group. Of the people who had jumped through all these hoops, they then say 75% stayed sober or showed signifcant improvement from their frst meeting. Te real number of people who failed to reach the point of getting to a group may never be known.

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Bill Wilson wrote with some concern how fear of losing what they found had prevented them from the kind of outreach AA now takes for granted. Today, meetings are available to anyone who looks, or has someone who cares enough to provide them with a meeting time and location. New people can fnd AA in the phone book; they can be directed to a meeting by a doctor, a judge, or a clergyman; or they may simply fnd AA through friends or family members who are already sober. Bill kept track of the people whose stories appear in the First Edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, and noted the fate of those whose stories had appeared in the frst edition of the Big Book. In addition to Dr. Bob’s story, thirty-two additional personal accounts of Recovery were published. Of these, twenty-one members went back out. Seven died drunk, but the others made it back for a second chance at Recovery. Hank Parkhurst, the man who made it possible for the book to appear, was one of those who died drunk. Te lesson of the book has been that anyone, anywhere, who is willing to follow the directions, can fnd and keep sobriety. When time came for a Second Edition, the stories in the back were changed partially to eliminate the stories of those who relapsed - they could not know what part of their story had opened the door to those relapses and didn’t want to condemn others to the same path. Te second edition also became open to more stories from women and minorities. “Following the directions” is more than just a pass through the Twelve Steps, but it incorporates into our daily life the lessons and principles found in the Steps. We achieve that by repetition and constantly looking at how the tools we have been given can be used over and over again. Bill and Bob reviewed the progress of their groups and reviewed their success rate. Diﬀerent sources gave results from 5% to 35% actually remaining sober. Current medical tracking indicates from 31% to 37% of AAs attending maintain long-term sobriety, and the survey fgures from AA’s World Service give similar results. But even those numbers defy the terminal nature of alcoholism over the previous history of mankind. Te Twelve Step system, if followed, proved to

– 289 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition provide the frst substantial success for any system of fnding and maintaining long-term sobriety. And, again, how are those number generated? When you go to an AA meeting, do you check in with anyone or report to the New York oﬃce to inform them that you are attending? It should also be remembered that with the exception of those few with signifcant religious or spiritual experiences, as indicated by Dr. Jung, there had been no system of getting anyone sober, and alcoholics had been doomed to a prolonged, agonizing death by the dissipation of the body and spirit alcoholism created, or the violent death alcoholics can bring upon themselves through their actions during drinking episodes. It keeps us aware that anyone getting, and remaining sober, is a miracle by all spiritual and religious standards, and a “deviation” from previous expectations by scientifc standards. It should always keep us grateful.

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Stories in Different Editions

Tere have been various stories about why diﬀerent stories are included in the back of the Big Book. In the frist edition there were thirty-two stories, in addition to Te Doctor’s Nightmare (Dr. Bob’s story). Of these stories, twenty-one relapsed. Seven of them died drunk. Te rest made it back and found sobriety that carried them through the rest of their lives. When the time came for a Second Edtion, the decision was made to not re- share the stories of people who had relapsed. Tere was a fear that something in their story made their relapse possible. So new stories were chosen and in those stories the examples of a wider spectrum of people in Recovery became possible. When time came for a Tird Edition, the diversity of stories was increased. And the Fourth Edition, the current edition at this writing, it was in a diﬀerent world. In addtion to Alcoholics Anonymous there were over sixty other programs using the 12-Step system for Recovery from various substances and behaviors. Citing the ‘singleness of purpose’ references to drugs and problems other than alcoholism were either deleted or revised. For example, “Doctor, Addict, Alcoholic” became “Physician Heal Tyself.” Te author’s reference to his problem with drugs, in addition to alcohol, was not deleted but the title eliminated the reference to the non-alcohol specifc nature of his story. References to ‘sedatives’ or ‘pep pills’ were not eliminated from Bill or Dr. Bob’s personal stories. Why some members of the fellowship may object to this seeming restriction of the defnition, was best explained by one speaker. She said:

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“I have problems other than alcohol, but when I am speaking an at AA meeting, I restrict my references to alcohol. Tat does not mean I deny the wider scope of what is necessary for my Recovery, but it means I will never be responsible for an alcoholic leaving his or her frst meeting saying to themself ‘I don’t belong in AA - I never smoked crack.’ “Singleness of purpose keeps our story focused, but one to one we must be honest with all of what our needs for Recovery include. Tat is why we talk with our Sponsor and our companions on the road of happy destiny.”

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Big Book Study Group, South Orange, New Jersey

The First 25 AA Groups

1. Ohio: Akron (June/July 1935) 2. New York City (Fall of 1935) 3. Ohio: Cleveland - Abby G. Group (May 11, 1939) 4. New Jersey: The New Jersey Group (May 14, 1939) 5. Connecticut: Greenwich Blythewood Sanitarium (June 1939) 6. Illinois: Chicago (September 13, 1939) 7. Ohio: Cleveland – Borton Group (November 16, 1939) 8. Ohio: Cleveland – Orchard Grove (November 20, 1939) 9. Washington, D.C. (December 1939) 10. California: San Francisco (December 1939) 11. California: Los Angeles (December 19, 1939) 12. New York: Orangeburg - Rockland State Hospital (December 1939) 13. Michigan: Detroit (December 1939) 14. Pennsylvania: Philadelphia (February 13, 1940) 15. Texas: Houston (March 15, 1940) 16. Arkansas: Little Rock (April 19, 1940) 17. Indiana: Evansville (April 23, 1940) 18. Ohio: Cleveland – West 50th Street Group (May 8, 1940) 19. Virginia: Richmond (June 6, 1940) 20. Maryland: Baltimore (June 16, 1940)

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21. Ohio: Dayton (July 8, 1940) 22. Ohio: Cleveland – Berea (August 27, 1940) 23. Ohio: Cleveland – Westlake (September 20, 1940) 24. Ohio: Toledo (September 1940) 25. Ohio: Youngstown (September 1940)

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Before AA

The Washingtonians During the early 19th Century, six drunks from a bar in Baltimore, MD decided they would go to a local Temperance lecture and heckle the speaker from the audience. After the lecture, they returned to the bar and discovered that they could stop their own drinking if they talked with each other about the reasons they felt they drank. People moved away and started new groups in other cities. Visitors became impressed with the success of the new non-drinkers and carried the idea to still more groups that were started. By 1842, a large network of these meetings existed across the US and they decided to have a day of celebration. Letters went out declaring: a) The groups would be known as the Washingtonians (named for Martha Washington, known for her temperance leanings) and b) on George Washington’s birthday (February 22, 1842) they would hold a national day of celebration. Groups were encouraged to host a picnic with speakers and general fellowship. Te speaker at the Springfeld, IL meeting was a young Abraham Lincoln, who is recorded as saying: “If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. Tere seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice. Te demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity.” Abraham Lincoln, to the Washington Temperance Society, Springfield, Illinois, 22 February 1842

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But the rising popularity of the Washingtonians attracted the wider Temperance movement and they stopped being a society of drunks helping other drunks stay sober, and became a society lecturing on the evils of alcohol and later, other evils. Founded on the success of the original Washingtonian group, the new Washingtonians crusaded in the war of Temperance on King Alcohol. Teir popularity grew until, in 1852, they claimed to have fve million people to have signed the Pledge, but you did not have to be an alcoholic to sign the Pledge. A Pledge was simply a paper that said you did not support the manufacture, sale, distribution, or use of alcohol. School children and others signed, but a block of fve million could have a great deal of political importance. Te Washingtonians expanded beyond alcohol, to spread themselves to the issues of slavery, pro and con; the gold standard, pro and con; and the admission of Texas to the Union, pro and con. Tey argued in their meetings, their public lectures fourished, then declined when the public tired of the public arguments. All of the good that could have been done was destroyed by their lack of unity. By 1861, at the start of the Civil War, they were gone. You could not fnd a Washingtonian group. Tey had died away. We will never know how many alcoholics were lost because we do not know how many of the fve million were actually alcoholics, but all the good they had done was swept away with the failure of that early fellowship. Bill Wilson did not know about the Washingtonians when AA was frst forming. He came to the conclusion the Washingtonians failed because of their lack of unity and lack of focus. Te groups competed with each other for members. Tey debated issues in public, and divided along the pros and cons of those issues. The Emmanuel Movement In 1906, the Emmanuel Episcopal Church, under the direction of Dr. Elwood Worcester and Dr. Samuel McComb, began a new ministry to combine psychiatry and spirituality in the treatment of a dreaded disease of the time – tuberculosis. Tuberculosis (or TB) was rampant and had the same emotional impact on families and neighbors as AIDS had in the late 20th Century. Tis group was dubbed Te Emmanuel Movement

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Victims of the disease were shunned, isolated, and abandoned. Fear of contracting the disease dictated public policy and private conduct. Te victims were generally left to die on their own. But the Emmanuel movement taught that with a combination of psychiatry and their focus on faith, it was possible to live a life and be restored to the maximum productivity possible, even with the disease. When they met with success with their “class” for victims of TB, they opened their class to “emotional problems” and a signifcant portion of the people who attended (some estimates say 80%) were alcoholic. Te combination of spirituality and psychiatry proved to be eﬀective in getting these newcomers sober and help them remain sober using the movements method. The Jacoby Club To their credit, and unlike the failed Washingtonian movement of the mid-19th Century, the Emmanuel movement did not try to put all its eggs in one basket and created a new sub-group specifcally for alcoholics. Tis new group was dubbed “Te Jacoby Club” under the patronage of rubber merchant Ernest Jacoby, with weekly “Men Meeting Men” group sessions for alcoholics in the church basement. It was members of the Jacoby Club who told the businessman mentioned in the Big Book (Rowland Hazard) that there was nothing they had to oﬀer that would help him. It was their suggestion that Rowland enter real psychiatric therapy with a real therapist if he hoped to ever fnd and maintain sobriety. Te Jacoby Club continued until 1989, but the availability of Alcoholics Anonymous, made its weekly sessions unnecessary. The Oxford Group Frank Buchman, an Episcopal minister from the United States and serving at a boy’s school in Keswick England, had a conversion experience and began a group he dubbed “A Century Christian Fellowship.” Under his leadership, the group took teams of like-minded believers to China, Africa, India, and the United States. Te group functioned as they imagined believers lived in the 1st Century. Tey received no salaries, held no positions, and were dependent on their fellowship for food, shelter, and transportation. Fortunately, Oxford Group members were very well situated and were seldom lacking for accommodations.

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While a group of the First Century Christian Fellowship travelled in South Africa, a reporter asked a train porter how to fnd them. Te man responded, “Oh, you mean the Oxford Group,” indicating the luggage which had Oxford stenciled on all the bags. Te reporter used that name to refer to the group and it stuck. Te group was unlike other forms of evangelism in that it targeted and directed its eﬀorts to the "up and outers,” the elites and wealthy of society. It made use of publicity regarding its prominent converts, and was caricatured as a "Salvation Army for snobs." Buchman's message did not challenge the status quo and thus aided the Group's popularity among the well-to-do. Buchman made the cover of Time Magazine as "Cultist Frank Buchman: God is a Millionaire" in 1936. For a U.S. headquarters, he built a multimillion-dollar establishment on Michigan’s Macinac Island, with room for 1,000 visitors. From Caux to London's Berkeley Square to New York's Westchester County layouts, Buchman and his followers had the best. In response to criticism, Buchman had an answer, "Isn't God a millionaire?" Buchman became a favorite of highly-placed men and women and frequently held audiences with presidents, kings, and world leaders. After meeting with Buchman, Mahatma Gandhi told reporters “people need to listen to this man. He has the frst great idea to come out of the West.” After a meeting with Adolph Hitler, who Buchman had hoped to convert, the Oxford Group received negative publicity as Nazi sympathizers. Te Oxford University demanded they stop calling themselves “the Oxford Group” and the name was changed to “Moral Re-Armament,” the MRA. With the death of Frank Buchman in 1961, the group lost much of its reputation on the world stage, although it still exists under the name Initiatives of Change (www.us.iofc.org/). Members of what would become AA were members of the Oxford Group and we owe much of our structure and methods to that earlier group. Members of the Oxford Group were given several sets of guidelines to be used in their personal spirituality. The Four Absolutes Te Oxford Group taught a focus on a personal relationship to God through an eﬀort to achieve Four Absolutes.

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Absolute Purity Absolute Honesty Absolute Unselfshness Absolute Love While perfection was not likely, the need to struggle in that direction was still necessary. The Five Cs Te Oxford Group also taught “Five Cs” to illustrate their program of spiritual growth. Confdence Confession Conviction Conversion Continuance The Practices Members of the Oxford Group had several daily practices that they used to maintain their focus and their growth. Quiet Time – a period of quiet meditation, reflection, and prayer, usually every morning. Guidance – the process of praying, meditating, and when you felt your prayer had been answered with “Guidance” or direction for your actions, you checked your Guidance with other people, lest your Ego deceive you into inappropriate action. AA has continued stressing the practices of daily quiet time for prayer and meditation, but successful members also report some sort of ‘checking’ also be used, either through meetings or one-on-one discussions with a Sponsor or other members. A Short History of the Oxford Group Te original name of the group was “Te First Century Christianity Association.” It was founded in 1927 by Frank Buchman, a American Lutheran minister at Oxford University in England.

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Te structure of the organization was completely voluntary. Tey did not have paid positions for speakers, preachers, or staﬀ, but were dependent on the generosity of members and friends to provide for costs of organization, transportation, food, lodging and facilities for public events. Tis principle of avoiding paid positions served the group well and allowed missions to visit nations around the world. Membership was composed of mostly upper class people. While most missionary movements are aimed at the “Down and Out”, the focus of this organization was for the “Up and Out”. Local groups aﬃliated with the “OG” would host ‘house parties’ in the homes of individual members. Tey did occasionally rent public venues for larger events. Te group was dubbed Te Oxford Group by a South African reporter. When he went to a train station to interview members of the First Century Christianity Association, the porter handling the group’s luggage said, “You mean the Oxford group”. He was referring to the group’s luggage, all clearly marked with “Oxford Group” stencil on each case. Te reporter used the name and it became the popular way of identifying the new fellowship. Changes in the Oxford Group Name “People need to listen to this man (Buchanan). He has the frst great idea to come out of the West.” - Mohandas Gandhi Frank Buchman met with the highest levels of governments and members of the ‘upper classes’. Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings and wealthy families attended his public talks. Buchman was followed by the press reporting on his public and private meetings with world leaders. After an attempt by Buchman to convert Adolph Hitler resulted in bad publicity. Oxford University objected to the implied association between the university and Buchman’s Group. Tey demanded Buchman stop using the name “Oxford Group”. Te First Century Christianity Association became “Moral Re- Armament” in 1939. Rowland Hazard, the man who had been treated by Carl Jung in Switzerland, came to join the Oxford Group for his own spiritual process. He later introduced Ebbie Tacher to the Oxford Group meetings and methods.

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Ebbie then carried the group’s teachings to Bill Wilson. Bill Wilson is recognized as a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous and began attending the Oxford Group with his wife, Lois in 1938. Bill Wilson, after a failed business trip to Akron, Ohio, connected Dr. Robert Smith (“Dr. Bob”) through fellow Oxford Group member Henrietta Seiberling on Mother’s Day, 1939. After one relapse, Dr. Bob got sober and remained sober using the Oxford Group fellowship and teachings. Both Bill and Bob continued their active participation in the Oxford Groups until the separation of Alcoholics Anonymous as an independent organization in 1939. When the writing of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, began all members of what would become the AA fellowship were still participants of the Oxford Group meetings. In the early twenty-frst century “Moral Re-Armament” was renamed “Initiatives of Change” and can be reached today through ioc.org. It lists the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous as a major accomplishment in its history.

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Birth of the Big Book

Te only meetings were in New York (under the direction of Bill Wilson) and Akron, OH (under the tutelage of Dr. Bob Smith). Correspondence between the meetings developed three primary ideas to spread the word. Te Big Book was created by a vote of the young fellowship while it was still identifed as part of the Oxford Group and after discussions with sober alcoholics in that fellowship. In 1938, the “alcoholic squad” wanted to fnd a way to share their message to other alcoholics seeking sobriety. Tree options were considered. a) AA Missionaries b) AA Facilities (hospitals, etc.) c) AA Book. Option a) would include paid “missionaries” to carry the word of their system of Recovery from city to city. It was voted down because the newly sober drunks had not listened to any other type of missionary effort to get them sober. It would also create a paid, “professional” class of AAs who would be perceived as setting themselves above the common drunks they were trying to help. Tis option was not chosen. Option b) would include a new hospital that would offer counseling, medical detox, and fnancial services, taking in drunks at one end and sending recovered alcoholics out into the community with their new, spiritual foundation to repair the damage they had done to their families and communities. But a new hospital would restrict the Recovery effort to those who could afford another hospital, and most of the drunks at the level where our founders began their recoveries were not at a point where they no longer had those resources. A hospital would also create a new danger with positions, names of letterheads, budgets, and public prestige. Option b) was not chosen.

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Option c) would mean the publication of a book to outline the AA process and would include stories of the members. Option c) was chosen. Big Book Development Bill Wilson fancied himself a writer. When the question of a book for the young fellowship came up, he began work on his own story, which would, of course, open the book. Te frst man Bill helped get sober in New York was a businessman named Hank Parkhurst. Hank was running a car polish company out of New Jersey and had, among his skills from an erratic background, the knowledge of how to “package” a book. Tis means to coordinate a writer, an editor, a typesetter, a printer, a bindery, and a distributor to produce a book from the beginning until it was available for people to buy at newsstands. When Hank saw what Bill had written he sat down and wrote out an outline of what needed to be in the book and in what order. He then made his secretary at the auto polish office available to Bill to type up what Bill wrote out in longhand. Hank then kept after Bill to complete the manuscript while encouraging many other members of the fellowship to write out their own stories (the beginning of the personal stories at the back of each edition of the book). While the book was being written, Bill and Hank tried to drum up interest in the book with publishers. Tey did receive an offer from Harper & Row to publish the book, and were offered an advance against royalties of $1500. Te offer convinced Bill and Hank that there was real potential in the sale of the book. Fifteen hundred dollars was more than most working people made in a year. Te two began to develop a plan to publish the book themselves to allow control over what was published and to keep all the income for themselves. While Bill was still writing, he and Hank created Works Publishing, Inc., and sold stock in the new company. Te “stock” consisted of a pad of blank stock certifcates purchased from a local stationery store and on which they wrote “Works Publishing, Inc.” and valued the stock at $25 each. Many members purchased stock by paying in installments as low as 50¢ per month.

– 303 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition The Multilith Big Book When the manuscript was fnished, Hank thought he had a way to make some money oﬀ the unpublished book. He had 400 copies reproduced in a cheap, water-based printing system called “Multilith.” His plan was to raise cash by selling these copies of the manuscript for $3.50 each, with a promise that the buyer would get a copy of the hardcover as soon as it was published. No one bought a single copy of the manuscript. So, in January 1939, the decision was made to circulate these copies to the fellowship for review. Every sober member of the program, their wives (and husbands, because women were getting sober by now), and any professional willing to comment on the book, received a copy. Tose professionals included doctors, ministers, business professionals, and spouses of sober members. Te 400 copies went out in January and in less than 60 days they received almost half of the copies back with suggestions for change. But many of the suggestions were the same. It should be understood that among the fellowship in those early Oxford Group were many “traveling men.” Traveling salesman was a common profession, so men who had gotten sober in New York or Akron were responding from wherever they were on the road. Responses and edits came from beyond New York and Akron, thanks to these traveling men. Copies were returned from Boston, Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, Baltimore, and more. A pattern developed that surprised the authors. Although the dozens of responders were separated in time and space, their comments shared the same ideas in the same sections of the original manuscript. Te decision was made to record all these changes in one copy of the Multilith edition, and despite the lack of direct communication between the members making comment, they came to the same conclusions at the same point. Tis proved to be the beginning of what was later called “group conscience,” but the changes to the document were recorded in one copy, which can still be found in the AA World Service Oﬃce archives. Te changes to these few sections were so intense that the typesetter was unable to read the manuscript when the time came to cast the lead type for publication.

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Te most signifcant comment appears to be from Bill’s personal psychiatrist, who suggested the original fnger-wagging-in-your-face tone of Bill’s frst draft be changed to a simpler, invitational manner. “You” and “You must” became “we” and a description of “what we did.” It was possible for the drunk seeking Recovery to go through the book without feeling attacked. Tey were able to choose to do what the people in the book did, or not, with knowledge of the result if they refused to do what was required. Not one copy of the book was sold. Te $3.50 cost was exorbitant. At that time, a steak breakfast was 35¢, a movie matinee was 20¢, a lunch with two hotdogs and a cup of soda was 10¢, and a week in a reputable rooming house with your own bed and breakfast and dinner for seven days was $3.50. With the unsold copies of the manuscript sitting in the New Jersey oﬃce, the decision was made to send out copies to everyone active in the program at that time. Tose trying to get sober, their wives, interested doctors, ministers, and anyone else interested was invited to review the manuscript and make comments. Within 60 days, the comments came in and focused on the language. Bill Wilson’s therapist, Dr. Harry Tiebout, made the successful argument that the tone of the volume was too threatening. Te manuscript was changed from the harsh direction of “You must do this” to the invitation to try “what we have done.” Te idea “if you want what we have you can do the things we have done,” or “do the work and get the result” became standard in AA presentation. Hank Parkhurst negotiated with Cornwall Printers in Cornwall, NY to typeset, print, and bind the book Alcoholics Anonymous in their “down” time, and the printer allowed Hank to pick up copies of the bound book on a cash basis. Cornwall warehoused the book and did not release anything that was not paid for before it left the shop. Despite his importance to the early fellowship, Hank did not stay sober. He endured years of relapse and Recovery and fnally died drunk. Opening the ‘God’ Door Everyone involved in the Oxford Group before the separation into Alcoholics Anonymous was a Christian. Tey were all white, mostly male and predominatly Episcopalian, Lutheran or Methodist. Catholics were actually

– 305 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition barred from attending Oxford Group meetings by their own church archdioceses. Some local Bishops went so far as threatening excommunication to Catholics who participated in Oxford Group ‘public confession’. If there were any other religions involved in those early days, they kept a low profle – we have found no evidence of early non-Christian participation. When the idea of a book was circulated, a small but vocal minority within the program wanted an inclusion for people who were not within the identifed religion of the frst generation of Recoverees. Some were Jews, some were Buddhist, others were Atheists. Over time even more participation would come from Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, ‘Red Road’ (followers of American native religion) and people who could not defne their spiritual path at all. Modern research has shown that the ‘path’ leading to the many 12-Step Programs today actually began in an 18th Century Delaware native program requiring abstinence from alcohol through a focus on spiritual principles and the continued 19th Century native prophet sobreity movements. With the inclusion of “As We Understood Him” into the Steps, the authors of the Big Book allowed people to face their problem as alcholics frst and determine their spiritual path later. In the Traditions, a decade later, it was expanded in the Tird Tradition - “Te only requirement for membership was the desire to stop drinking.” Today there are 12-Step Programs that require adherence to a specifc religion, or a specifc allegience to not being in a religion. Tey are not in confict with mainstream Alcoholics Anonymous, but may misrepresent the 12-Step Recovery program as only functioning through a specifc religion. Te protection in current membership and the open door policy of our Program was started with the additions to the wording of the Steps – “as we understood Him.” Separation from the Oxford Group In 1938, Clarence Snyder, a low-bottom alcoholic from Cleveland, OH, arrived in Akron to get sober with Dr. Bob and his Oxford Group “alcoholic squad.” His sister’s children used Bill Wilson’s brother-in-law as their pediatrician, and it was his discussion of Bill’s success with his alcohol problem that encouraged Clarence’s family to send him to Akron.

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Clarence became sober with Dr. Bob and eventually was able to return to Akron, where another man getting sober with Dr. Bob allowed Clarence to stay in his home in Cleveland. Clarence arrived in time to receive a Multilith copy of the Big Book manuscript. When he returned to Cleveland, he tried to organize a new group, but found that most of the alcoholics he encountered were Catholics, and the local archdiocese had declared that the Oxford Group was not appropriate for Catholics. In fact, some Catholics who attended the Oxford Group were threatened with excommunication. When he returned to Cleveland, Clarence wanted to form a new group but found that the men he encountered who wanted to get sober were Catholic. Te local Catholic archdiocese had threatened excommunication for members who attended Oxford Group meetings. Te archdiocese for Akron had not made that same determination so Clarence loaded his group of drunks into some cars and headed down to Akron each Wednesday for their Oxford Group meeting with Dr. Bob. During this time, the friction between the Akron Oxford Group and the growing, recovering community was increasing. One man told Dr. Bob “You are glorying in your sin – my tobacco is every bit the sin your alcohol is.” Dr. Bob’s response was simple; “Your tobacco will not send you to the prison, the madhouse, or the gutter.” Clarence had discussed his growing resentment at the resistance of the Oxford group’s more conservative members low opinion of the alcoholics they found in their midst. On May 10th, shortly after his talk with Dr. Bob, who was his Sponsor, the tension was very high and Clarence decided he’d had enough. He announced, “Tomorrow night, in Cleveland, we will have the frst meeting not associated with the Oxford Group. It will be based on this book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and we will study what is in this book!” In one move, Clarence established AA as a separate fellowship, and the focus on a Big Book study. Te following night, Tursday, March 18, 1939, the frst AA meeting was held in Cleveland. Clarence also changed the meaning of “Sponsor” to what we use today. Originally, a “Sponsor” was the man who agreed to cosign your detox bill at St.

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Tomas Hospital in Akron, who then agreed to work with you on, what we would now call, the “frst Six Steps,” and then took the new man to his frst Oxford Group meeting. Tere was no open meeting list for the Oxford Group and you had to “know someone” to get in. Te Sponsor was ensuring that if you broke or stole something, he would be responsible. Clarence changed the defnition of Sponsor to mean one man (or woman, now that women were getting sober, too) with some experience in the program working with a newcomer. Tis system worked to grow Cleveland meetings at a rate which surprised Bill and Bob. At the end of 1939, there was one meeting in Akron, New York City and one meeting, and Cleveland had three meetings. In the frst few months of 1940, two additional meetings formed in Cleveland. Clarence was abrasive, actively disliked the Traditions, always introduced himself with his last name, and introduced himself frequently as “the man who founded AA.” But he has been slighted in some AA hisotries. He deserves recognition for his contributions for shaping our meetings, book studies, and Sponsorship as they are now enjoyed by the world wide fellowship. Evolution of Sponsorship We to recognize recognize the signifcant guidance Clarence Snyder of Cleveland, OH, provided the model for what we now call Sponsorship. In the Oxford Group, your Sponsor was the man who cosigned for your admission into medical detox. Drunks were notorious for not paying their bills and without a cosigner, the hospital would not admit them for alcoholism. Remember, at this time alcoholism was not a recognized disease and most admissions were for “gastric distress.” Te Sponsor then worked with the new man on what we would now call the frst Six Steps. According to Clarence S., their frst responsibility was helping the new man fnd his faith as a Christian.

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Tis means that before the new man10 went to his frst meeting, he had to be in a hospital detox with a Sponsor visiting to guide him and quiet time with Prayer and Meditation had been established. He worked with a Sponsor successfully to admit his own alcoholism, turned his life and will over to his new understanding of God or a Higher Power, made Inventory of his past, shared it with his Sponsor, and became willing to have his defects removed. You could not simply “go to a meeting.” Tere was no meeting guide. You had to know someone who knew where a meeting was being held.. Te Sponsor also took responsibility for the man he brought to the meeting. If the new man broke or stole something, it was for the Sponsor to set it right. Te new man entered his frst meeting of the fellowship on his knees, praying with the group to have his defects removed. It was also common in Akron for the “old men” of the group to take the newcomer upstairs to confrm that this candidate was an actual “member” of the group. Clarence was responsible for changing this defnition of Sponsor to a much simpler “someone who is ahead of you in the program and willing to show you what they had done,” which is what we think of a Sponsor to be now. With Clarence’s infuence, the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper ran articles on Alcoholics Anonymous (written by a member of Clarence’s group), the archdiocese approved the non-Oxford Group fellowship as appropriate for Catholics, and the Cleveland Fellowship grew at a rate that surprised Bill and Bob. In 1938, there were two groups; one in Akron and one in New York. In 1939, there were fve; three groups formed quickly in Cleveland without Bill or Bob to guide them. And with Clarence’s push, the new form of focusing on the Steps and the use of the Big Book for new members was introduced. By January of 1940, two more groups had formed in Cleveland and as another landmark, the Cleveland Service Committee was the frst service structure designed to serve AA. When the Saturday Evening Post article by Jack Alexander appeared in 1941, it was estimated there were 400 members in the three cities (or traveling across the country for their jobs with one of those three cities as their base) who

10 Early members of what would become AA were all men. Te story and process for women was later found to be the same as for men. – 309 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition could count a year of sobriety or more. Immediately after the appearance of the article, the membership jumped from 400 to over 6,000. Te new groups were founded on the Big Book for use as a group study focus and personal work on the Steps. Tere were so many new people that there were not enough Sponsors to serve everyone, and several of the fellowships began “Newcomer” or “Beginner” classes to introduce the new people to the tools of the program, the use of the Big Book, the Steps, and getting into the new life. Te Recovery Reader is intended to follow that trail of shared education, and study. Explosive Growth In 1940, a reporter for the Saturday Evening Post was assigned the story to investigate Alcoholics Anonymous. Te author, Jack Alexander, was a muckraker who had just exposed the corruption in the mineworker’s union and fully expected to fnd another major scam in progress. He attended a few meetings and shortly became an avid supporter of AA. His article appeared in the March 17, 1941 issue of the Saturday Evening Post, one of the most popular magazines of the era. As a result of the article, the membership of AA exploded from approximately 400 at the time the article appeared, to over 6,000 in just a few weeks. Tere were so many new members; there were not enough Sponsors to work with the new members. Te “Class” was developed in several different areas at about the same time. Committees formed to establish local service offices around the country, and many independent groups issued their own Recovery oriented materials, such as 24 Hours a Day, the Eye Opener, Stools and Bottles, and more than a dozen beginner class outlines. Much of the material for this class had been taken from the 1940s writings of the Akron Group, the Cleveland Service Committee, and the beginners’ classes documented in many cities. Hundreds of new groups were founded by individual alcoholics who ordered a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous from the New York service office, now dubbed the WSO (World Service Office), who proceeded to get sober and seek out other alcoholics to work with.

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barefootsworld.net.

Big Book Names & Dates

FROM THE FIRST 188 PAGES OF THE BIG BOOK Preface 2nd Ed xv – Bill Wilson & Dr. Bob during a talk between a NY stockbroker & Akron physician (they first met on 5/12/35) xvi – Ebby Thacher alcoholic friend in contact with Oxford Group xvi – Dr. Silkworth (named) NY specialist in alcoholism xvi – Bill Wilson The broker xvi – Dr. Bob the Akron physician xvii – Bill Dotson AA#3 (sober date was 6/26/35, Bill Wilson & Dr. Bob first visited him on 6/28/35) xvii-xviii - Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick (named) noted clergyman xviii – Fulton Oursler (named) editor of Liberty xviii – John Rockefeller Jr. (named) gave dinner xviii – Jack Alexander (named) wrote Saturday Evening Post article xix – Traditions all Twelve Traditions mentioned xx – Recovery rate from 1939-1955 Of alcoholics who came to AA & really tried, 50% got sober at once & remained that way; 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement Doctor's Opinion (was page 1 in the frst edition of the Big Book) xxv-xxxii Dr. William D. Silkworth well known doctor (worked at Towns Hospital, N.Y.C.) xxv – Bill Wilson patient he regarded as hopeless xxvii – Nine years experience Dr. Silkworth had nine years of experience with alcoholics & drug addicts when he wrote this xxvii – Bill Wilson one of the leading contributors of this book xxxi – Hank Parkhurst man brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism

– 312 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition xxxi – Fitz Mayo another case, had hid in a barn Bill's Story - Bill Wilson 1 – Winchester Cathedral Bill Wilson has a spiritual experience ("Here I stood on the edge of the abyss into which thousands were falling that very day. A feeling of despair settled down on me - where was He - why did He not come - and suddenly in that moment of darkness, He was there. I felt an all-enveloping, comforting, powerful presence. Tears stood in my eyes, and as I looked about, I saw on the faces of others nearby, that they too had glimpsed the great reality.") 1 – Thomas Thetcher an old tombstone (the name of the Hampshire Grenadier) 1 – a special token Upon leaving France the men of his [Bill Wilson's] battery paid him special honor. His letter of January 3, 1919, read: "Quite a touching thing happened yesterday. The men presented Captain Sackville and me each with a watch, chain and ring. The whole battery was lined up, and I tell you it was equal to promotion and decoration by J. J. Pershing himself! Coming as it did from a clear sky, it was quite overwhelming. Wouldn't have changed insignia with a brigadier general. It means so much more than promotion. Insofar as I know, we are the only people in the regiment who have been so honored. I'm sure you will be as happy and proud as I am." 4 – Penick & Ford XYZ-32 (stock) (Penick & Ford is a corn products company, it went from 52 to 32 in 1 day) 4 – Dick Johnson friend in Montreal (worked at Greenshields & Co., a brokerage house) 4 – 1930 By the following spring 4 – Macy's wife (Lois) work in dept. store 5 – A. Wheeler & F. Winans 1932 formed group to buy bender - chance vanished 5 – written sweet promises Promise followed empty promise. On October 20, 1928, Bill wrote in the family Bible, the most sacred place he knew: 'To my beloved wife that has endured so much, let this stand as evidence of my pledge to you that I have finished with drink forever.' By Thanksgiving Day of that year he had written, 'My strength is renewed a thousandfold in my love for you,' In January 1929, he added, 'To tell you once more that I am finished with it. I love you.' None of those promises, however, carried the anguish Bill expressed in an undated letter to Lois: 'I have failed again this day. That I should continue to even try to do right in the grand manner is perhaps a great foolishness. Righteousness simply does not seem to be in me. Nobody wishes it more than I. Yet no one flouts it more often.' Again, he wrote a promise to his wife in the family Bible: 'Finally and for a lifetime, thank God for your love.' The promise was dated September 3, 1930. Like those that had preceded it, it was not kept. That was the last of the Bible promises.

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6-7 – doctor came with sedative, next day drinking gin & sedative 7 – early spring 1934 I was forty pounds under weight 7 – Dr. L. Strong & Dr. Emily brother in-law (husband of sister Dorothy) & mother put him in Towns Hospital 7 – Dr. Silkworth met kind doctor explained ill, body & mind 7 – Summer, 1934 After a time I returned to the hospital 8 – 11/11/34 Armistice Day 1934 8-12 – Ebby Thacher old school friend 9 – Shep C,Rowland H,Cebra G two? (three) men appeared in court (Shep Cornell, Rowland Hazzard & Cebra Graves) August 1934 9 – chartered an airplane January 1929, from Albany N.Y. to newly opened Manchester Vt. 10 Fayette Griffith (Bill's) grandfather 10 Winchester Cathedral (see page 1) 12 the Cathedral Winchester Cathedral (see page 1) 13 – 12/11/34 At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time (Bill is admitted to the hospital at 2:38PM and he is 39 years old) 13 – Ebby & Shep Cornell schoolmate visited at hosp with friend 14 – Dr. Silkworth friend, the doctor 14 – 12/14/34 God's impact on Bill is sudden & profound, he calls Silky & describes what just happened, this spiritual experience as THE result of the work he did on pages 13 & 14 were all done when Bill had 3 days of sobriety or less! 14 – Ebby friend emphasized 16 – Bill C. committed suicide in Bill & Lois’s home after having stolen & sold about $700 worth of their clothes and luggage (a lawyer, stayed with them almost a year, died 1936) 16 – 36 years sober, age 75 Bill W., co-founder of AA, died January 24,1971 There Is A Solution 21 – mostly from Bill's story Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you.. 26 – Rowland Hazard certain American Business man -treated by Dr. Carl Jung (1931) & joined the Oxford Group in February 1934 26 – Freud & Adler consulted best known American psychiatrists (Freud was sick & Adler was booked up so Rowland ended up working with Jung) 26 – Dr. Carl Jung (named) European psychiatrist 28 – William James (named)American psychologist who wrote “Varieties of Religious Experience”

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More About Alcoholism 32-3 – A man of thirty (On page 123 of Richard Peabody’s 1931 book “The Common Sense of Drinking”, Peabody briefly mentions an unknown man who gave up drinking until he had made his fortune five years later. Resuming "moderate" drinking, he was soon back in his alcoholic difficulties, losing his money in two or three years and dying of alcoholism a few years after that. This anecdotal account was probably the germ idea for this story) 35-7 – Ralph Furlong a friend we shall call Jim (Ralph is the author of the story "Another Prodigal Son" which only appeared in the first edition of the Big Book) 37-8 – jay walker story 39-43 – Harry Brick Fred 43 – Dr. Percy Poliak staff member world-renowned hospital (Bellevue Hospital, N.Y.) We Agnostics 50 – Alfred E. Smith "celebrated American statesman" (four time governor of New York and unsuccessful first Roman Catholic presidential candidate.) 51 – Wright brothers (named) first successful flight 1903 51 – Professor Langley Samuel P. Langley, flying machine landed in Potomac - 1903 project for War Dept. 52 – Wright brothers (named) built a machine that could fly 55 – people who proved that man could never fly 56 – Fitz Mayo the minister's son 56 – Bill Wilson approached by an alcoholic How It Works No References Into Action 76 – Book of James 2:20, 26 Faith without works is dead 79 – man we know was remarried 80 – Oxford Group member he accepted sum of money from business rival - explained in church Working With Others 101 – Eskimo running away from drinking to Greenland Ice cap To Wives No References

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Family Afterward 124 – Henry Ford (named) 133 – one of the many doctors 135 – Earl Treat one of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker To Employers (chapter was written by Hank Parkhurst) 136 – Hank Parkhurst member who spent life in world of big business 136 – Mr. B. 137 – one of the best salesmen 137 – man who hung himself 138 – Frank Winans? officer of one of largest banks in America 138 – Bob E. or Rowland H.? an executive of the same bank 140 – Dr. Edward Cowles? Chicago doctor with spinal fluid theory of alcoholics (see www.eskimo.com/~burked/history/cowles.html) 141 – Standard Oil New Jersey "if my company" (that Hank Parkhurst worked for) 148 – vice-president of large industrial concern 149 – Honor Dealers Co. I own a little company (an automobile polish distributorship (see page 246 & 248) 149-50 – Bill Wilson & Jim Burwell two alcoholic employees Vision For You 151 – Bill's former Higher Power King Alcohol 151 – Four Horsemen (named) Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair - Revelations 6:2-8 war, famine, pestilence, and death personified the four plagues of mankind 153 – Bill Wilson one of our numbers made a journey 153 – Akron, OH a certain western city 153 – National Rubber Machinery business (of that trip) involved in proxy fight 154 – Akron, Ohio in a strange place (had to have that one) 154 – The Merry Man Tavern an attractive bar 154 – Mayflower Hotel paced a hotel lobby 154 – Reverend Walter Tunks clergyman he phoned (Rector of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Akron) 155 – "the old Episcopal Church" church selected at random 155 – Dr. Bob resident near nadir of alcoholic despair 155 – AMA convention went on a roaring bender (Traymore Hotel in Atlantic City, NJ)

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156 – around 6/17/35 He (Dr. Bob) has not had a drink since. (It is generally stated that Dr. Bob's sobriety date and the founding date of AA is 6/10/35, but recent facts around Dr. Bob's last drink indicate that this date is closer to a week or so later.) 156 – Mrs. Hall/Akron City Hosp head nurse of local hospital 156-8 – Bill Dotson real corker, none too promising, future AA, lawyer 158 – 6/26/35 He (Bill Dotson) never drank again. 158 – Ernie Galbraith - Akron devil-may-care young fellow 159 – Bill Wilson our friend of the hotel lobby incident 159 – Dr. Bob, Bill D, Ernie G leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap 159 – Archie T, Bill/Bob G (Salesman), Bill Van H, Dr. Bob, Charlie S, Dick S (AA#7), Ernie G, Harry Z, Jim S (Writer), Joe D (AA #5), Marie B, May B & Tom L/Jim L, Paul S, Ralph F, Wally G, Walter B - all 17 have stories in 1st edition. Additionally, Phil S (AA#5), Bill V, J.D.H., Bob E, Ken A were sober by 1937. Some may go with p.161. A year and 6 months later these 3 succeeded with 7 more (puts this early 1937) 160 – T. Henry & Clarace Williams One man and his wife 161 – Cleveland, OH. community 30 miles away 161 – Lloyd T, Clarence S, Charlie J. (see names from pg. 159) has 15 fellows of AA 161 – New York eastern city 162 – Towns Hospital, NYC well known hospital for treatment of alcohol & drugs 162 – Bill Wilson member there 6 years ago 162 – Dr. Silkworth doctor in attendance 162 – eastern city NYC 162 – western friends Ohio 162 – New York, Akron/Cleveland our two large centers 163 – Hank Parkhurst AA member living in a large community (Montclair, NJ) 163 – Dr. Howard prominent psychiatrist (of Montclair, NJ/Chief Psychiatrist for the State of NJ) 163 – Dr. Russell Blaisdell chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital (Rockland State Hospital in NY) Doctor Bob's Nightmare - Dr. Bob Smith 171 – Sister Ignatia (named) At St. Thomas Hospital, Dr. Bob was well assisted beginning in August 1939 (along with Dr. Bob's office girl Lillian) 171 – St. Johnsbury, VT. I was born (8/8/1879) in a small New England village

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171 – Judge & Mrs. Walter Perrin Smith Dr. Bob's father & mother 172 – St. Johnsbury Academy Dr. Bob graduates from high school 1898 172 – Dartmouth College one of the best colleges in the country (in Hanover, N.H., graduated 1902) 173 – Univ. of Michigan entering one of the largest universities in the country (1905) 174 – Rush Medical Univ. another of the leading universities of the country (near Chicago, Ill., received medical degree 1910) 174 – Akron, OH. western city 174 – 1912 I opened an office downtown 174-5 local sanitarium 175 – Scylla and Charybdis (named) (mythology: Strait of Messing-Big rock with monster (Scylla) one side, whirlpool (Charybdis) on other. Odysseus managed to navigate through translated: "between a rock & a hard place" 175 – 1/16/19 - 12/5/33 Eighteenth Amendment (Prohibition) 176 – ? hide out in one of the clubs 176 – ? registering at a hotel 176 – Anne Smith my wife (Anne & Dr. Bob went out together for 17 years before they were married) 177 – Wallace Beery/Tugboat Annie (named)play or movie involving a drinking man 178 – Oxford Group crowd of people -their poise, health and happiness (Dr. Bob got involved with the O.G. in 1933 & separated himself from them Nov. or Dec. 1939) 179 – Henrietta Seiberling a lady called up my wife 179 – 5/12/35 We entered her house at exactly five o'clock 179 – AMA Convention meeting of a national. society (Traymore Hotel in Atlantic City, NJ; June 10-14, Monday-Friday, 1935) 179 – nurse Lily/Cuyahoga Falls I woke up at a friend's house, town near home 179 – Bill Wilson my newly made friend 179 – Bill Wilson meets a friend of hers 181 11/16/50 Dr. Bob died on 11/16/50, he was 55 years old, he had 20 years sober

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sober.org

Principles of Recovery

Te steps from pages 59 & 60 of the Big Book. Step One – Surrender. (Capitulation to hopelessness.) Step Two – Hope. (the Second Step is the mirror image or opposite of step 1. In step 1 we admit that alcohol is our Higher Power, and that our lives are unmanageable. In the Second Step, we find a different Higher Power who we hope will bring about a return to sanity in the management of our lives.) Step Three – Commitment. (The key word in step 3 is decision.) Step Four – Honesty. (An Inventory of self.) Step Five – Truth. (Candid confession to God and another human being.) Step Six – Willingness. (Choosing to abandon defects of character.) Step Seven – Humility. (Standing naked before God, with nothing to hide, and asking that our flaws—in His eyes—be removed.) Step Eight – Reflection. (Who have we harmed? Are we ready to make amends?) Step Nine – Amendment. (Making direct amends/restitution/correction, etc.) Step Ten – Vigilance. (Exercising self-discovery, honesty, abandonment, Humility, reflection, and amendment on a momentary, daily, and periodic basis.) Step Eleven – Attunement. (Becoming as one with our Father.) Step Twelve – Service. (Awakening into sober usefulness.) You may have good reason to believe the above distillation could be improved upon. Do it! Te purpose of this activity is to sharpen up our thinking about the nature of AA Recovery. Honest inquiry and loving debate are essential to deep learning. Principles of the TRADITIONS: Perhaps you should take a shot at these if you wish. Let us know what you come up with. And Down to Business. Now for the fun. We have uncovered 36 instances of the word principle in the Big Book. From these we have discovered 31 principles

– 319 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition of AA Recovery. You may have noticed that in eight instances we are talking specifcally about "spiritual principles.” But the "principles" addressed thus far are but a few of the principles that should guide our lives. For example: Patience, tolerance, understanding, and love are the watchwords. Page 118 Tese are the four additional principles we once aﬀectionately called PLUT (Patience, Love, Understanding, and Tolerance). You are going to have an exciting time identifying AA's principles, in the literataure and in your daily life. It is suggested that you and some friends start with the frst printed page in the Big Book, and that you each read a paragraph out loud, then ask each other if the paragraph contains any basic action guidelines for Recovery from alcoholism. If it does, write them down and discuss how to take those actions with your Sponsor. Awakening to Principles Here in Southern California most AA groups read the frst 77 lines of Chapter 5, How It Works, at the beginning of their meetings. While reading the 12 Steps one encounters... Step Twelve – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our aﬀairs. page 60 Some of us have asked, "What are these principles?" Anticipating this to be anything but a trivial question, we searched the Big Book for the word principle. It must be important to the program of Recovery because it is used 36 times. Appendix II displays all 36 references. Defnition of Principle. Tus aroused, we have explored. Te next thing we did was to investigate the defnition of principle in our dictionary. Defnitions were extracted from Webster's New International Dictionary, Second Edition, published in 1935. It should be a reliable source for word usage as understood over 50 years ago by the authors of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, which was frst published in April, 1939. Principle, n fr ...Latin principium beginning, foundation...

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2. A source, or origin; that from which anything proceeds; fundamental substance or energy; primordial; ultimate basis or cause.... 4. A fundamental truth; a comprehensive law or doctrine from which others are derived, or on which others are founded; a general truth; an elementary proposition or fundamental assumption; a maxim; an axiom; a postulate. 5. A settled rule of action; a governing law of conduct; an opinion, attitude or belief which exercises a directing infuence on the life and behavior; a rule (usually a right rule) of conduct consistently directing one's actions... One might distill these defnitions of principle down to basic rules of action. However, some of our members are opposed to rules, so we adopted the following short defnition: “a principle is a basic action guideline” Searching the Big Book on the word "Principle,” what are the principles of the AA program of Recovery? Five of the 36 uses of the word principle are clearly statements of principles: Numbers 1 through 36 below refer to the order in which the statement appears) 22) Te frst principle of success is that you should never be angry. Page 111 Although we alcoholics are not saints, it seems the authors of the Big Book thought that our spouses should be. It is obvious that this principle is avoiding anger. 28) Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. Page 125 Tis principle urges us to respect the privacy of others, especially fellow members of AA. 29) Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle. page 128, We practice service of others rather than self-service.

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36 References to Principles

“PRINCIPLES” IN THE BIG BOOK Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. Te same principle applies in dealing with the children. Page 115 Our relationships with others will be vastly improved when we display courage and good nature, just as when we do not display self-consciousness. Five additional examples make direct reference to the steps and traditions of AA as being principles: Te Steps of AA are principles (and a listing of these appears soon): • Step Twelve. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our aﬀairs... Page 60 • No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. Page 60 • Te principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Page 60 Traditions are Principles: • As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live, so we had to evolve principles by which the AA groups and AA as a whole could survive and function eﬀectively. Page xix • Tough none of these principles had the force of rules or laws, they had become so widely accepted by 1950 that they were confrmed by our frst International Conference held at Cleveland. Page xix

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Tus far we may have uncovered 31 of AA’s principles. Four were the easy uses of the word principle in examples 22, 28, 29, and 36. Tree more were found in 25, and there are the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, each being a principle. The Word “Principle” in the Big Book: 1 & 2) As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live, so we had to evolve principles by which the AA groups and AA as a whole could survive and function effectively. Page xix 3) Tough none of these principles had the force of rules or laws, they had become so widely accepted by 1950 that they were confirmed by our first International Conference held at Cleveland. Page xix 4) Te basic principles of the AA program, it appears, hold good for individuals with many different life-styles, just as the program has brought Recovery to those of many different nationalities. 5) My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Page 14 6) We feel elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Page 19 7) Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. Page 42 8) Tat was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe. Page 47 9) Step Twelve. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs... Page 60 10) No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. Page 60 11) Te principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Page 60 12) We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. Page 64 13) Although these reparations take innumerable forms, there are some general principles which we find guiding. Page 79

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14) Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. Page 83 15) If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set Prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. Page 87 16) Te main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. Page 93 17) When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. Page 93 18) We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. Page 93 19) Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover. Page 97 21) When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. Page 98 22) Te ﬁrst principle of success is that you should never be angry. Page 111 23) If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate. Page 112 24) Te same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced. Page 112 25) Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. Te same principle applies in dealing with the children. Page 115 26) Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives... Page 116 27) Tough it is entirely separate from Alcoholics Anonymous, it uses the general principles of the AA program as a guide for husbands, wives, relatives, friends, and others close to alcoholics. Page 121, footnote 28) Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. Page 125

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30) Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live. Page 130 31) Tey can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing them. Page 130 32) Without much ado, he accepted the principles and procedure that had helped us. Page 139 33) Te use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. Page 156 34) Twelve—Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." Appendix I, page 564 35) & 36) "Tere is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance— that principle is contempt prior to investigation." — Herbert Spencer Appendix II, page 570

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sponsormagazine.info

Grief and Amends

As a member of the human race, you will be required to pass through your own trials related to loss. As a Sponsor you will be asked to help your Sponsee through the human ordeal of suffering loss. It is your experience that will make you valuable to helping someone stay sober while going through the grief associated with such losess. Teories or stories you have heard about how other people successfully processed Grief might be helpful to some degree, but it will always be experience that proves to be of the greatest value. When death is expected and we have time to prepare, the actual event will come as a shock and we will know the difference between what we thought it would be like, and the reality. When death is unexpected we need help to fnd our footing after the shock knocks us off balance. Escape from Old Patterns People in Recovery drank and used drugs to escape from feeling. With the gift of Sobriety comes the return of human feelings, which we must learn to integrate into our new, healthy lives. Tere is no way to turn on Good Feelings and turn off Bad Feelings – we feel or we are numb. We must feel love and joy with the same capacity we can feel anger or grief. Most alcoholics and addicts are newcomers to successfully living with these feelings, and sometimes we are thrown into new rounds of emotion to which we must adjust without advance warning. When you are asked for help beyond you own life and Recovery experience, you must admit that fact and work with the person to help him fnd someone with the experience they need. Grief is the normal reaction to loss. Sometimes it is the loss of a person close to us, sometimes it is something else. We grieve over pets, missed opportunities or the fantasy which must be surrendered to move deeper into a healthy, functional human being. Denying grief can offer a temporary beneft but is not

– 327 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition something for prolonged indulgence; no one is qualifed to tell someone how long they should spend in any stage of grief. Grief hurts. No one can tell someone else what they are not to feel. Each person will have his or her own reactions and must discover their process to get through the grief. You will hear it said that the depth of grief is directly related to how much we loved, or at least cared about, the thing which was lost. Tis usually means that the loss of a parent or spouse will be a much deeper experience compared to the passing of an acquaintance with whom we shared a class many years ago. Te loss of a child is almost impossible to describe and is best shared with someone else who has lost a child. Te death of a beloved pet may strike one person deeply, and may not effect another person at all. Tere are excellent books on grief, which can be helpful, particularly when used to prepare for a forthcoming death. We tend to fall back to complete self absorption at the time of crisis, whether it is a death we have expected after a long period of illness, or something unexpected such as an accident or a criminal act. We return to our old pattern of making everything our drama, rather than accept it as part of our life. And our Ego makes us think that everything around the loss we are grieving is about ourselves - the old, familiar “me, me, me.” Service for Healing When confronting Grief, one of the best tools is the same tool that allows us to get through the new awareness of our past, our damage to other people and the need to make things better –Service. When we face a loss, it serves us to comfort the other people who share that loss. For example, when a parent or other family member dies, there are brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, in-laws and friends of that person we grieve. By providing comfort to others, we take our minds off of our own pain and loss to provide the same compassionate understanding we need. Frequently in Recovery, our healing comes by giving away the very thing we feel we are lacking. When we need encouragement, it helps us to encourage others. When we need understanding for some confusion or wrong ideas that have created a problem, we must offer forgiveness and understanding for someone else going through that same problem. When we need love, we love

– 328 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition others more. When we feel we need to matter to other people, we need to recognize how important people around us are to us, and then communicate that fact while they are able to hear us and know how we feel. Amends and Grief Sometimes in the Amends process you will have a name that represents something or someone who is gone. Some people say it is enough to visit a grave to speak your apologies, or to write a letter. But we are also taught that this is a Program of Action and processing Grief may mix in with our amends. What Action can you take that would have been accepted as an amends with the person or organiation to whom you owed amends? If you owed money, how will the amount of that debt you owed go to beneft something that the lost name would approve? If you owed a repair other than money, how could that be carried out in the name of the lost person or organization for a cause or an action. If you had to restore an object but the person who was to receive it is not longer available, to what appropriate person, organization or location can the object be returned.

Death is unavoidable, but it does not mark the end of the object of our Grief’s eﬀect on our lives.

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essentialsofRecovery.com11

Twelve Warnings

Te book Alcoholics Anonymous contains a series of propositions and proposals, the successful outcome of these depends upon the actions of the reader. Te book directs us as to what we must start doing, what we must stop doing, what happens when we fulfll the propositions and proposals and what will happen if we fail to fulfll them. Tese are the Twelve Warnings as to what will happen if we fail to heed the directions: 1. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifce for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. Page 14 2. Te feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. Page 17 3. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfshness, we must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. Page 62 4. Tough our decision (Tird Step) was a vital and crucial Step, it could have little permanent eﬀect unless at once followed by a strenuous eﬀort to face and be rid of, the things in our lives which had been blocking us. Page 64 5. It is plain that a life, which includes deep resentment, leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infnitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we

11 Tis list was submitted through several correspondents and websites, but we have not been able to confrm the original source. – 330 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition shut ourselves oﬀ from the sunlight of the spirit. Te insanity of alcohol returns and with us to drink is to die. Page 66 6. Concerning sex. Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half- truth. It depends on us and our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned a lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. Tese are facts about our experience. Page 70 7. If we skip this vital Step (5), we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Page 72 8. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. Page 78 9. We feel that a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. Page 82 10. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. Page 85 11. Our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. Tat includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't. You will note that we made an important qualifcation. Terefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I a good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you have answered these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Tink of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! Page 101 12. Te head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home. He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But he must see the danger of over-concentration on fnancial success. Although fnancial Recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money frst. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress, it never preceded. Page 127)

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primarypurposegroup.,org

Thirty Eight Musts

Frequently you will hear it said in meetings: "Tere are no musts in this program." Tis is not supported by the body of the texts. 1. "It must be done if any results are to be expected. Page 99 2. “We must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree." Page 99 3. “It must be on a better basis, since the former did not work." Page 99 4. “Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead." Page 83 5. “We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone." Page 83 6. “Tose of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it." Page 74 7. “Te rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others." Page 74 8. “But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone." Page 75 9. “But we must go further and that means more action." Page 85 10. “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities." Page 85 11. “Tese are thoughts which must go with us constantly." Page 85 12. “If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink." Page 80 13. “I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all." Page 14

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14. “Above everything, we alcoholics mus t be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!" Page 62 15. “Te man must decide for himself." Page 144 16. “To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss." Page 89 17. “If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind" Page 33 18. “We must not shrink at anything." Page 79 19. “But we must be careful not to drif into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others." Page 86 20. “He must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive." Page 120 21. “I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I?" Page 152 22. “He must decide for himself whether he wants to go on" Page 95 23. “If he is to find God, the desire must come from within." Page 95 24. “Tough they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary." Page 159, 25. “Both saw that they must keep spiritually active." Page 156 26. “Tat is where our work must be done." Page 130 27. “Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn't." Page 82 28. “He should understand that he must undergo a change of heart." Page 143 29. “Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it." Page 69 30. “We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm" Page 69 31. “We had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life - or else." Page 44 32. “We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them." Page 78 33. "To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action." Page 93 34. "His defense must come from a Higher Power." Page 43 35. "We saw that these resentments must be mastered." Page 66

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36. "For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all." Page 146 37. "We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world." Page 73

But Remember...

38. "When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions." Page 144

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sober.org

109 Promises

How many promises await us as we trudge this road of happy destiny? Some folks think they are limited to those following the Ninth Step on page 83. Tere are 20 there (not the 12 often mentioned). But you will fnd promises for each step and in many other places as well. We are sure you want to know what they are. Tanks to Buddy T. at About.com we were referred to the Big Book Comes Alive website, which lists their version of 147 Big Book promises. We have not yet added from their list to ours the missing promises that meet our promise criteria. However, there is a price to pay for reading on. You must contact us with additional promises from inside the front cover through page 164. Here are well over 100 presented as of today: Promises of Step Two 1) There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of short-comings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. 2) We have found much of heaven and 3) we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. 4) The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have

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revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. 5) The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. 6) He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. Page 25 7) Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these occurrences are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. 8) Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, 9) and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. Page 27: 10) We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. 11) A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works. Page 28 Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. 12) Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach 13) and to effect a contact with Him. 14) As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. 15) We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. 16) To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.

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17) It is open, we believe, to all men. Page 46 18) Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. 19) Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. 20) That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. 21) It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. Page 47 22) Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. 23) It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were. Page 48 24) Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward the Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. 25) In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. 26) This happened soon after they whole-heartedly met a few simple requirements. Once confused and baffled by the seeming

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futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory. They show how the change came over them. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. Page 50 27) We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. Page 55 28) Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. 29) But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. 30) When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! Contributed by Joe Mc. Page 57 Promises of Step Three 31) When we sincerely took such a position, all sort of remarkable things followed. 32) We had a new Employer. 33) He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. 34) Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. 35) More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. 36) As we felt new power flow in, 37) as we enjoyed peace of mind, 38) as we discovered we could face life successfully,

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39) as we became conscious of His presence, 40) we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. 41) We were reborn. 42) an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. Contributed by Kay G. and Jon T. Page 63 43) At once, we commence to outgrow fear. Contributed by Kay G. Page 68 43a) We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. Contributed by Tom T. of Omaha. Page 70 Promises of Step Five Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, 44) we are delighted. 45) We can look the world in the eye. 46) We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. 47) Our fears fall from us. 48) We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. 49) We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. 50) The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. 51) We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. Page 75 Promises of Step Eight 52) If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result. 53) In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own faults,

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54) so feuds of years standing melt away in an hour. 55) Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our 56) former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. 57) Occasionally, they will offer assistance. Page 78 Promises of Step Nine If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, 58) we will be amazed before we are half way through. 59) We are going to know a new freedom 60) and a new happiness. 61) We will not regret the past 62) nor wish to shut the door on it. 63) We will comprehend the word serenity and 64) we will know peace. 65) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. 66) That feeling of uselessness (will disappear) 67) and self-pity will disappear. 68) We will lose interest in selfish things and 69) (We will) gain interest in our fellows. 70) Self-seeking will slip away. 71) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. 72) Fear of people (will leave us) and 73) (fear) of economic insecurity will leave us. 74) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. 75) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. 76) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

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77) They will always materialize if we work for them. Page 83 Promises of Step Ten 64) And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone — even alcohol. 65) For by this time sanity will have returned. 66) We will seldom be interested in liquor. 67) If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. 68) We react sanely and normally, and 69) we will find that this has happened automatically. 70 We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. 71) We are not fighting it, 72) neither are we avoiding temptation. 73) We feel as though we had been places in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. 74) We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. 75) We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. 76) That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. Page 84 Promises of Step Eleven On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions 77) we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. 78) Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

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79) In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. Page 86 80) What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. 81) Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. 82) We come to rely upon it. 83) We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why. As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Ty will be done." 84) We are then in much less danger of excitement, 85) fear, 86) anger, 87) worry, 88) self-pity, 89) or foolish decisions. 90) We become much more efficient. 91 We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

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92) It works—it really does. Page 87 93) Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. 94) You can help when no one else can. 95) You can secure their confidence when others fail. 96) Life will take on new meaning. 97) To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. Page 97 Promises of Step Twelve 98) Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. Contributed by Kate O. 99) When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Contributed by Kate O. 100) Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! Contributed by Beth 101) Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. Contributed by Kate O. Page 100 102) Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. Contributed by Beth

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103) The power of God goes deep! Contributed by Kate O. Page 102 104) But sometimes you must start life anew. We know women who have done it. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother. Contributed by Kate O. Page 114 105) How much better life is when lived on a spiritual plane. Contributed by Kate O. Big Book page 116 106) These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. 107) You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. 108) Instead, you will capitalize them. 109) A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome. Contributed by Kate O.

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Recovery Reader

The Most Dangerous Part of the Alcoholic Brain

a Talk by Dr. Harry T. Tiebout

Dr. Tiebout Troughout the conference approved literature issued by AA’s World Service Oﬃce tells us that we have great friends in the non-alcoholic community. We are also told to seek and use the professional services of the medical professionals available to us. Bill Wilson, the primary author of the Big Book followed his own advice and had a psychiatrist, Dr. Harry T. Tiebout, who, through Bill’s sessions with him, specialized in the feld of Alcoholism and Recovery for the remaining years of his professional career. Dr. Tiebout published in professional journals and presented additional papers on his fndings related to the mind of the alcoholic at early International Conventions of the fellowship. At the 1960 Inernational in Long Beach he presented a talk12 on the most insidious aspect of the alcoholic brain in Recovery. Dr. Tiebout repeatedly stressed that the reduction of the Ego was a prerequisite to success in Recovery. Te state of being humble is desired, but is not under the

12 Te original recording will be hosted at the http://sponsormagazine.info site for those who prefer to hear Dr. Tiebout make this presentation in his own words and in his own voice. It will also be posted to archive.org for long term availability. – 345 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition mind’s ability to bring about. He said, “You can no more will yourself to be humble than you can pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” As illustrations Dr. Tiebout presented several case histories where someone in Recovery, who was respected by his local fellowship for his or her Recovery, fell victim to the most dangerous part of the Alcoholic’s brain - the self-healing Ego. In one case he cited a man with several years Recovery who was invited to speak at an event. He said he would do it but, owing to his long sobriety, he insisted that he go on as the last speaker. It was a minor point and the event placed him in the desired position. But from such a simple position, feeling that his presentation would be of particular value to the audience, the man’s Ego reasserted itself. Within two years the man had relapes and died as a direct result of his alcoholism. A patient of Dr. Tiebout said she did not like people with resurrected Egos. Te comment disturbed Dr. Tiebout, prompting him to ask, “How do you view such people?” “To be honest,” the patient said, “I look down on those people.” Te doctor considered the response, then asked, “If you are looking down on them, in what position does that put you?” Te patient became uncomfortable. “It means I am above them, I guess,” she admitted meekly. He said that with that admission, she was beginning to take an inventory that might be more than the list of words. She was having a frst hand contact with humility and was, he felt, beginning to feel some truths about herself. In a third case he was present at a meeting in New England where the speaker announced that he was the “humblest man in the room” and was confused when this prompted a hearty horse-laugh from the crowd. He did not see the source of their amusement at frst. Tis kind of Ego-blindness is, of course, the source of profound trouble. Its presence can be denied with the utmost sincerity. It takes considerable digging and large doses of honesty before the inner self can be reached. In its quietly stubborn way, it can ruin our best intentions. Te sad truth is that the Ego is always more visible in others, than in ourselves. We can delight in puncturing the pomposities of others. We can recognize the wisdom of defating infated egos, but all too often the target is someone else. When it is ourselves, our aim can be notoriously bad. We can laugh with the saying of Chinese philosopher Lao Tse who had this gem to oﬀer: “He who feels pricked must have been a bubble.” Te Ego can be seen as the driving force that seeks to dominate and feel comfortable only when it is able to maintain a non-underdog position. It may recoil

– 346 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition at any display of “big-shotism,” but down inside where the feelings count it can be as touchy as a sore thumb. It is not an accident that the members of Dr. Tiebout’s specialty are called “head shrinkers.” Te doctor then explored the ability to detect evidence which shows that the ego has gone. Tat evidence can be summed in one of two words. Humbleness and Humility. Assured the Ego has departed, the mind treats the two as synonyms and fails to see the diﬀerence between the two states, nor the need of active contact with a Higher Power to maintain the reduced Ego condition. Te problem is ‘How does one feel when one feels Humble?” Te answer to that question, he said, was identifying the state of being ‘up’ and the state of being ‘down’. When one is ‘up’, one is cheerful, positive, and animated. A person in such a state may be up on his toes, in high gear, or perhaps ‘up and at ‘em’. He is all for action, charges in, and makes improvements. Getting somewhere. And is rendered accurately uneasy whenever his perceived advances are in any way impeded. Perhaps more than he knows, he seeks to make life a pink cloud. In a deep sense, he lives oﬀ hope. An insistent force drives him, telling him his ship will come in and his worries will be over. For him, surrender is a completely shattering experience, impossible to contemplate. It means renouncing the will to live. Te force that keeps him going. Te person in the ‘up’ state seldom questions its validity. It seems the epitome of health and well being. ‘Down’ on the other hand, is the exact opposite. In the state of being down the individual is not gay, lacks energy, drive, fnds life a dreary bore. Such phrases as down in the mouth or down in the dumps successfully picture the ‘down’ frame of mind. It is a state of mind that is voided and smacks little of health. In keeping with most everyone else, for years Dr. Tiebout viewed the ‘up’ state with kindly eyes, and the ‘down’ one to be the enemy of mankind. In AA and in life a whole new series of facts were forced upon him. Te ‘pink cloud’ is an ‘up’ state if ever there was one, yet clearly not an entirely healthy one. Even more confusing, Humbleness and Humility, which were certainly part of a ‘down’ state, were essential to sobriety. And fnally, to his surprise, he came to realize that being sober meant being sober minded, with no trace of being ‘up’. Tere were incontrovertible facts that seemed to fy in the face of all logic. In fact they were, and some sense had to be, made out of Humbleness and Humility.

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Te question was how can one lose the up state without plunging into a down, which is crippling and surely a miserable form of existence. Te answer to that question lies in direct admission of the fact that the word ‘down’ does not have to mean down and out. It can also mean ‘down to earth’. Tis down is a very healthy one, too. Te down to earth individual has his feet on the ground. He can spot the pink cloud for the element it is, and can distrust the airy, insubstantial quality. Te man with his feet on the ground is a solid citizen, going nowhere, interested in nothing spectacular, but able to live each 24 hours as a contributing member of the human race. Here is a very diﬀerent down from the depressed, unhappy sort of down which formerly had been envisioned. Here is a down that stood for substance, for lasting values. A down which should not be deplored. Tis kind of down meant health and real well being. Not the ephemeral kind, which lifts the individual slightly oﬀ this earth. ‘Down’ could mean being Humble and free from a lot of giddy notions about ourselves. It could mean the end of Ego and all the unrest associated with that part of our nature. In a very deep and profound sense, down could mean that we were able to accept ourselves for what we are. No longer do we have to be up, looking with scarcely concealed loathing. We are down, we can look up, maybe even to a deity who has never looked down on us. We can now talk about Humbleness. In the light of our discussion of the up and down states we can realize that Humbleness is the down state which puts it in the right place for our daily life. Whenever the individual stands on Earth, rather than plunging on through to the lower regions, the individual is ‘down’ but his or her feet are on solid ground. False fears of what will happen to him or her when they drop from the high state vanishes. As experience is gained we receive the comforting realization that we can let lesser gods fght among themselves. All we need to do is stay where we are and learn to live. Te Ego in the genuinely humble person is in abeyance, for the moment at any rate. It is accurate to say that true humility is the real evidence that the Ego has gone or is no longer infuencing the individual’s thoughts or feelings. Te next question is now clear. How can this down-to-earth state of mind, which is the real source of Humbleness, be induced and then maintained. Hitting bottom is the key. It brings the individual into contact with the Earth, usually with a resounding ‘whack’. Te use of the word bottom suggests exactly where

– 348 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition the hitting is applied. For the fortunate he has been spanked into some measure of sense. Te whole of engineering the individual so he hits a bottom is a fascinating matter about which to conjecture. Dr. Tiebout admitted that the individual members of the Program have been through the mill and seen many others through the same rough time. Any extended discussion of hitting bottom and its role in producing sobriety is wasted time – nothing he had to say will match your frst hand experiences to the nature of the forces within which try to produce a breakthrough leading to hitting bottom and surrender. Tere he moved into the trickiest problem of maintaining the sober person. A considerable portion of his practice was devoted to helping members develop a capacity to stay humble or down on Earth. It is one thing to knock a person off his pedestal. It is a much more difficult task to keep him from climbing right back on again. Out of my experience, three points seem to be of pertinence to this audience. Te frst is to recognize that the ability to remain on Earth is not under the conrol of the will. It is just as impossible to will yourself to be humble as it is to lift yourself by your bootstraps. Te very effort to will humbleness is, in itself, an act of sheer arrogance. It is a test to dictate how one should feel. One can only hope for the desired feelings to come along. One cannot just order them to be present as feelings have an independence which must be respected. Te second point of consideration is that people have forces within them which can carry us ‘up’, off Earth so subtly and so quickly that we are totally unaware that anything has happened. Te climb back on the pedestal can go completely unnoticed. Te old timer who insisted on a preferred position could still have thought himself an AA, and be convincing to himself and others. Te member who claimed to be the ‘Humblest person in the room’ had a choice and conspired with the returned Ego, but was totally innocent of the fact. His Ego said he should fatly assert his Humbleness, and he could believe he was quite honest. Even if it was quite inaccurate. Te problem of the unnoticed return of the Ego is widespread. Te individual who enters into AA after hitting bottom has his own experience which provides him with a genuine feeling of humility. Ten a tragic thing often happens. Te memory lingers but the humility slowly seeps away. We can discover the damage created by our unrestrained Ego, work our Steps, work our Program, and devote ourselves to Service, then realize we have achieved a level of Humility. Which is a realization of which we become proud. Tat pride then

– 349 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition opens the door for Ego to fnd its way back to its pedestal. Having accepted the beating it has recevied, the Ego whispers its way back in as it builds a new takeover of the sober alcoholic’s brain. It’s self-healing capacity will remain a threat as the AA member progresses into longer and longer terms of Sobriety. Te third point Dr. Tiebout stressed was the problem of remaining Humble. He considered the actual ways and means by which Humbleness is preserved. Obviously no foolproof formula exists. Te pitfalls are many. It means Twelve Step work, reporting Inventories, and improving our contact with a Higher Power, are all helpful and may be depended on in most instances. However, the unwary individual may get trapped in ways which he least suspects.

Tis article is drawn from the talk given by Dr. Tiebout in Long Beach, CA in 1960. Te actual recording is available at http://sponsormagazine.info/reader.html.

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Gossip and The 13th Step

Many people talk about the “Tirteenth Step” - the predatory sexual manipulation of a newcomer. Recovery requires trust. When trust is breached, resentments rise and all the other principles are out the window, and often times Sobriety goes with it. Tat is why it is so important that no member should ever breach another member's confdence... and especially the ability to trust guidance from the more responsible members of their groups. Tis applies as well to any and all gossiping between members about what another member has said or done. Tis particularly applies to “Te Tirteenth Step” – advances leading to fnancial or sexual abuse of members, especially newcomers. Newcomers are in a vulnerable position and predators may take advantage of them. Probably more members lose their Sobriety for this single reason, than all others combined. Tis means newcomers and those with long term Recovery. It may over guilt of actions they knew were not appropiate, it may be because of damage that was done during the ‘relationship’, or as a result of the resentments and gossip that run through the local fellowship. It can lead to relapse, damage and sometimes criminal charges. Newcomers are vulnerable, naive, confused, and fearful. Tey are looking for any bit of acceptance or comfort that will fll that emptiness they fnd in their gutA breach of trust can cause a resentment that could mean their Sobriety or their Life. Newcomers are the life blood of our fellowships and must be protected from the predators among us..We do this to protect the newcomer, and to protect our own Sobriety.

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Conflict in AA Histories

WITH ONE CASE STUDY It does not seem possible to have a large community without the development of myth structures. Myths are created to fll a personal need, to create an explanation or to teach a lesson. Te fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is large and has spread around the world. Te estimates place membership in the millions, though people argue over the exact number. It has been accepted by followers of almost all of the religions and philosophical beliefs. In their journey people have tried to explain things they have not understood and have been limited to their own life story and personal experiences to create those explanations. Some of these explanations have been importing ideas and sayings from other sources, some have been completely fabricated, often with good intention. Te problems happen when people create conficting stories and then try to elevate the version they have been told over the versions other people have been told. Dr. Ernie Kurtz, author of “Not God,” the frst comprehensive study of the history of Alcoholics Anonymous, addressed this in a YouTube video. Te specifc video is called “Ernie Kurtz on Researching AA History“ (https://youtu.be/2-IyzinVRq8). In that talk Dr. Kurtz explains we cannot fnd the whole truth - we have to accept that people have reasons for believing the version they tell, and it is seldom the result of a desire to sabotage or damage someone else or those other people’s beliefs. Dr. William White, who has inherited the mantle of keeper of historical reserach for alcohol and drug Recovery, described it simply: “When I began writing a book in the early 1990s on the history of addiction treatment and Recovery in America, several people directed me to Ernie Kurtz as the authoritative source. I had no way of knowing that what I expected to be a brief consultation on the history of AA would evolve into a prolonged mentorship, multiple professional collaborations, and an enduring friendship. Trough these years, Ernie Kurtz communicated a number of

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crucial lessons to me about researching and writing history. He repeatedly challenged me to: Tell the story chronologically (do not confuse your reader). Tell the story in context (let your reader know what else is going on around the event you are profiling). Present the historical evidence (sources)—all the evidence. Separate statements of fact from conjecture and opinion. Tell the story from multiple perspectives. Localize and personalize the story. Stay connected to your readers—keep them wanting to turn the page to find out what happens next (for an elaboration of these, see White, 2004). I will try to be faithful to these guidelines in telling Ernie’s own story. http://www.williamwhitepapers.com/ernie_kurtz/ To illustrate this idea I want to address one specifc example of this problem and attempt to follow Dr. Kurtz’ suggestions with a well known confict in AA history. Once Case Study At the point where the Big Book had been written and was about to be released, there was a new member gertting sober and living with Dr. Bob in Akron, Ohio. His name was Clarence Snyder and many believe he should been given much more credit for the founding of AA and particularly for its growth as an independent organization from the Oxford Group. Clarence Snyder’s sobriety date is February 11, 1938. He is listed as one of the frst forty people to get sober using the AA/12-Step system. His story was one of those included in the frst edition of the Big Book (“Te Home Brewmeister”), also published in the second and third editions. He was present in the early meetings in Akron when the unnamed group was still a part of the Oxford Group. In 1939 Clarence returned home and had a problem organizing a new group. Te men he knew who wanted to get sober were Catholics and the local Diocese had forbidden its members from attending Oxford Group meetings. Te Diocese in

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Akron had made that declaration13, so Clarence organized a weekly caravan from Cleveland to Akron for the Wednesday night meeting. Tere was some complaining about making the journey, since there were more men in the cars making the journey than there were local people in the Akron meeting they attended. Clarence had to remind them about the problem with their church, which some people reported had threatened excommunication, and the grumbling died out. But in the Akron meeting there was a growing confict with the Oxford Group about the ‘alcoholic squad’, the ‘type’ of man they were bringing into people’s homes (recovering alcoholics from all social levels), and the focus on alcoholism. Some members of the Oxford Group complained that these people were ‘glorying in their sin’. Te Big Book had just been printed, and the ‘Multilith edition’ was still in circulation. On the night of May 10, 1939, during one of these argumentative meetings, Clarence announced that he would host a new meeting in Cleveland on the following night. Te new meeting would not be affiliated with the Oxford Group and they would use the book Alcoholics Anonymous as their focus. Members of the Oxford Group objected and called friends in Cleveland to prevent that frst meeting. But Clarence, in a single action, created the new unaffiliated group, named it Alcoholics Anonymous after the book, and laid the foundation for the AA saying “All you need to start a new meeting is a coffee pot and a resentment.” Tis meeting was also the frst to form without the personal presences of Bill Wilson or Dr. Bob. At the end of 1939 two more groups had formed in Cleveland. Meetings would form in the the following year in Detroit, Chicago, Boston, Baltimore, and a dozen other cities. Clarence also wrote the frst guide on , the Cleveland meetings created the frst ‘service board’ which released the frst literature based on the sermons of a preacher connected to Clarence. But Clarence does not receive credit for much of what he did in the Cleveland area in the later literature of AA. Te sudden growth in Cleveland is acknowledged but Clarence’s name is seldom mentioned.

13 Clarence was later abel to get the local Bishop’s blessing on the non-Oxford Group approach found in AA – 354 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition

It was not the only confict within the early fellowship. Akron members complained that the New York fellowship and the New York members claimed that the Akron fellowship was unrealistic. When the time came for the frst international convention of representatives of the growing Alcoholics Anonymous, the confict prevented either New York or Akron from hosting the historic gathering. Cleveland served as the neutral ground for this frst major gathering of the fellowship. Tis is not to say there is no controversy with Clarence’s role in the growth of Alcoholics Anonymous. Clarence himself seemed to enjoy the attention he received from making statements that outraged the people who were far from the Cleveland area, and his followers in Cleveland were vocal in their support. For example, Clarence would introduce himself as “the man who founded AA” or make no comment when someone else made the claim. He is recognized as one of the frst forty people to get long term sobriety and he did create the frst meeting to be free of Oxford Group constraints. He called his group ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’, but it was named after the book. Te name ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ was established before the writing of the book following the frst institutional meeting in New Jersey, credited to an alcoholic patient named Joe Worther, and it was being used by Rev. Shoemaker of the Calvary Mission immediately after that. Clarence was very specifric in his dislike of Bill Wilson and anything he did. In particular, Clarence disliked the Traditions Bill proposed and was vocal about his resistance to adopting them. It is also said that he felt Dr. Bob never should have agreed to presenting them. Clarence seemed to enjoy the controversy he created and was recorded several times making fun of the Traditions and anyone who approached Recovery in any way diﬀerent from his own approach. He introduced himself with his full name, mocked anonymity and ridiculed anything Bill presented. But it should also be said that there are rumors that Bill Wilson may have had an aﬀair with Clarence’s wife Grace. Tese stories were also told by Grace herself, according to some of her Sponsees. While AA does not encourage acting on resentments, it might make Clarence’s opposition understandable. Clarence’s followers in the Cleveland area meetings encouraged the positions championed by the man who brought Recovery to Cleveland, and who did so many good things for the growth of the fellowship.

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And he was to have a signifcant supporter after a sad episode in New York. Hank Parkhurst Goes to Cleveland Within a few months of the publication of the Big Book, Hank Parkhurst, the man who was pivotal in getting the book completed, relapsed. Hank had hoped the Big Book would create a cash fow, which he needed. His auto polish business, which employed Bill Wilson and Jimmie Burwell, was failing. His secretary took Bill Wilson’s handwritten sheets and typed them. Hank put together the ‘Multilith’ edition to raise money, but it did not succeed. Instead this set of copies of the original manuscript became the source of comment from the fellowship, which shaped the fnal verson of the Big Book, but did not produce any income. Te publication of the Big Book, given as April 1, 1939, was another disappointment. Te book did not sell. One woman bought one copy on the condition that members in Akron and New York autograph the frontpiece14, but the expected cashfow did not materialize. Hank began drinking after the publication of the book, and became an active opponent of Bill Wilson. He went to Cleveland while drinking and fed more information to Clarence Snyder, which fed Clarence’s public pronouncements against Bill. For example, John D. Rockefeller provided a $5,000 account with a New York bank. Tis account was not accessible to Bill or Bob, directly, and was administered by a local clergyman, but it was to be used to provide support for the early fellowship. Tis took the form of a stipend for Bill and Bob and $3,000 was used to pay oﬀ Dr. Bob’s mortgage. Te whole amount was repaid as one of the frst obligations of the AA service structure. But Hank told Clarence that Bill and Bob had stolen $40,000 from the account, and Clarence repeated the accusation. Over time the amount became even more infated, and it was great fodder to feed the controversy. Hank returned to New Jersey and made it back to the program, temporarily. He relapsed again and died in January of 1954. Lois Wilson said that he was drinking at the time, and there is also evidence of prescription drug abuse.

14 Tis copy is now in the archives at the New York oﬃces of Alcoholics Anonymous. – 356 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition Clarence After Hank When Hank Parkhurst returned to New Jersey, Clarence continued his opposition to Bill Wilson. Tis led to an angry exchange of letters with the Alcoholic Foundation (precursor of the AA World Service Organization) and Clarence’s resignation from the Cleveland Service Board in 1944. Tis incident has been used by anti-AA voices on the Internet. Clarence, however, became a respected ‘elder statesman’ of AA’s early days and a sought-after speaker at meetings and events until his death in 1984. In particular his work modeling the creation of local AA meetings, his guidance in creating the foundations of modern , and his adherence to a strictly Christian interpretation of AA, remain points of appreciation in many areas. Some of Clarence’s talks were recorded and can be heard through xa- speakers.org on the internet. But Clarence’s followers continued to play a part in maintaining a darker view of AA’s early days, and Bill Wilson in particular. For example, it was widely circulated that Bill Wilson’s philandering caused local groups to create a protective squad to keep Wilson away from the local woman when he was in town to speak.. Dr. Ernie Kurtz reported that his research showed that none of the cities where such squads had been formed knew anything about the story. Bill Wilson had come to town, spoke and left without the local fower of womenhood being threatened. But the story continues to circulate.

At this point Dr. Kurtz chose to make a point about attempts at getting to the ‘real’ story in any historical research. When you encounter this kind of ‘two story’ confict, it becomes an eﬀort to understand that each side of the story has a reason for its proponents to tell the tale the way they do. He suggested that all sides of a story be told and the job of an historian is to share what he found.

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Recovery Rate = 1

If you stay around AA for any length of time, you will start to hear statistics. People will say only a certain number of drunks get sober and stay sober. Sometimes you will hear 1-in-50, or 1-in-17, or 1 in 5. Other numbers are spread around. Or you will hear numbers for the fellowship. Tere are fve million people involved in Alcoholics Anonymous. Or twelve million. Or one hundred million. Te question comes up - where do these number come from? Are these from treatment centers or from the actual 12-Step fellowship? Are the numbers from insurance companies? Are the numbers from someone with a very specifc bias for, or against, 12- Step Recovery? Did you ever have to report your membership to anyone? Did you have to reveal how long you have been sober? Tere is a number for people coming into the fellowship to know. It is the only number that really matters. One. You. Te statistics of Recovery reduce down to the only Recovery that matters - yours. Be the one. It doesn’t matter one-in-how-many…just be the one.

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More Than Words

WHAT THE WORDS MEAN More Tan Words is one of those documents you fnd on the internet that does not carry identifcation of the source and status. We are making the call to share the information exactly as it was made available. We make no claims on authorship and there is no copyright showing. Te Recovery Reader is released through Creative Commons to be shared with the fellowship.

If you are the copyright owner or have more information on when and where this series of resources was produced or used, please get in touch with us at [email protected].

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References

A few lists for quick access to additional information about, for, and by people in long term recovery.

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Various Internet Sources

Dr. Robert Smith with Bill Wilson, the ‘co-founders’ of Alcoholics Anonymous AA Chronology

Tis list has been drawn from many sources and is oﬀered for general references. July 22, 1877 – William Duncan Silkworth is born in Brooklyn, NY. August 8, 1879 – Dr. Bob is born in St. Johnsbury, VT. March 21, 1881 – Anne R., Dr. Bob's wife, is born. January 2, 1889 – Sister Ignatia, is born in Ballyhane, Ireland. August 15, 1890 – E M Jellinek, author of "Te Disease Concept of Alcoholism" and the "Jellinek Curve is born .” March 4, 1891 – Lois W. is born. December 27, 1893 – Rev. Samuel Shoemaker is born. November 26, 1895 – Bill W. is born in East Dorsett, VT. March 25, 1898 – Jim B. ("Te Vicious Cycle") is born.

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October 15, 1904 – Marty M., early AA woman, is born in Chicago. February 1908 – Bill makes boomerang. January 25, 1915 – Dr. Bob marries Anne Ripley. January 24, 1918 – Bill marries Lois Burnham in the Swedenborgen Church in Brookyn Heights, NY. February 15, 1918 – Sue Smith Windows, Dr. Bob's adopted daughter, is born. May 1919 – Bill returns home from service. October 20, 1928 – Bill writes promise to Lois in family Bible to quit drinking. By Tanksgiving adds second promise. January 1929 – Bill writes third promise in Bible to quit drinking. September, 1930 – Bill writes 4th (last) promise in family Bible to quit drinking. August 1934 – Rowland H. and Cebra persuade court to parole Ebby T. to them. November 1934 – Ebby T. carries message to Bill. November 11, 1934 – Armistice Day; Bill starts drinking after dry spell, beginning of Bill's last drunk. December 1934 – Bill & Lois start attending Oxford Group meetings. December 11, 1934 – Bill admitted to Towns Hosp for the 4th and last time (fall '33, '34 in summer, midsummer, and fnal admittance). Bill’s last drink is one beer he brought with him to Towns. December 12, 1934 – Bill has Spiritual Experience at Towns Hospital. December 13 or 14, 1934 – Ebby visits Bill at hospital, brings William James's book, "Varieties of Religious Experience.” December 1934 to May 1935 – Bill works with alcoholics, but none of them get sober. Lois reminds him HE is sober. April 1935 – Dr. Silkworth tells Bill to quit preaching at drunks & tell them of obsession & allergy. May 11, 1935 – Bill W. makes calls from the Mayfower Hotel and is referred to Dr. Bob. May 12, 1935 @ 5 pm – Bill W. meets Dr. Bob at the home of Henrietta Seiberling. June 10, 1935 – Te date that is celebrated as Dr. Bob's last drink and the oﬃcial founding date of AA. Tere is some evidence that the founders, in trying to reconstruct the history, got the date wrong and it was actually June 17. June 26, 1935 – Bill Dotson (AA #3) enters Akron's City Hospital for his last detox and his frst day of sobriety.

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June 28, 1935 – Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson visit Bill Dotson at Akron's City Hospital. October 17, 1935 – Ebby T., Bill’s Sponsor, moves in with Bill and Lois. December 1955 – 'Man on the Bed' painting by Robert M. frst appears in Grapevine. Painting originally called 'Came to Believe'. March 1936 – AA has ten members staying sober. At end of 1936, AA has 15 members. October 1936 – Bill C., a Canadian alchy staying at Bill's house, commits suicide using a gas stove. November 1936 – Fitz M. leaves Towns Hospital to become 'AA #3 in NY', with Bill W. and Hank P. January 15, 1937 – Fitz M. brings AA meetings to Washington, DC. February 11, 1937 – First New Jersey meeting is held at the home of Hank P. ("Te Unbeliever" in the frst edition). Some sources report this as happening February 13, 1937. September 13, 1937 – Florence R., 1st female in AA in NY. November 1937 – Bill and Dr. Bob compare notes in Akron; count forty cases staying sober. Te meeting of the Akron Group considers Bill's ideas for how to expand the movement ... a book, AA hospitals, paid missionaries. It passed by a majority of 2. December 12, 1937 – Bill meets with Rockefeller Foundation and tries to get money. December 13, 1937 – Rockland State Mental Hospital takes patients to meeting in New Jersey. February 11, 1938 – Clarence S. ("Home Brewmeister" 1st -3rd edition) sobriety date. March-May 1938 – Bill begins writing the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Works Publishing Inc. established to support writing and printing of book. April 11, 1938 – Te Alcoholic Foundation is formed as a trusteeship for AA (sometimes reported as May 1938). May 1, 1939 – Bank forecloses on 182 Clinton Street. (Sometimes reported as April 26, 1939.) June 16, 1938 – Jim Burwell, "Te Vicious Cycle" in Big Book, has his last drink. June 24, 1938 – Two Rockefeller associates tell the press about the Big Book "Not to bear any author's name but to be by 'Alcoholics Anonymous.'" August 11, 1938 – Akron & NY members begin writing stories for Big Book.

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July 15, 1938 –Te frst documented use of name Alcoholics Anonymous; AA archives letter from Bill to Willard Richardson. July 18, 1938 – In letter to Dr. Richards at Johns Hopkins, Bill uses Alcoholics Anonymous as working title for Big Book & name for the fellowship. September 21, 1938 – Bill W. & Hank P. form Works Publishing Co. December 1938 – Twelve Steps is written. January 1939 – 400 copies of manuscript of Big Book are circulated for comment, evaluation, and sale. January 3, 1939 – First sale of Works Publishing Co. stock is recorded. January 8, 1938 – New York AA splits from the Oxford Group. February 1939 – Dr. Harry Tiebout, becomes the 1st psychiatrist to endorse AA and use it in his practice. February 1939 – Dr. Howard of Montclair, NJ suggests swapping "you must" for "we ought" in the Big Book. February 5, 1939 – Dr. Bob tells Ruth Hock in a letter that AA has "to get away from the Oxford Group atmosphere.” March 1, 1939 – Readers Digest fails to write article on AA. April 1, 1939 – Publication date of Alcoholics Anonymous, AA's Big Book. April 10, 1939 – Te frst ten copies of the Big Book arrive at the oﬃce Bill and Hank P. shared. April 24, 1989 – Dr. Leonard Strong dies. April 25, 1939 – Morgan R. is interviewed on Gabriel Heatter radio show. April 26 or May 1, 1939 – Bank forecloses on 182 Clinton Street. May 1939 – Lois W. Home Replacement Fund starts as Alcoholic Foundation. May 6, 1939 – Clarence S. of Cleveland tells Dr. Bob, his Sponsor, he will not go back to Oxford Group meetings in Akron and will start an "AA" meeting in Cleveland. May 10, 1939 – Clarence S. announces to the Akron Oxford Group members that the Cleveland members are starting a meeting in Cleveland and calling it Alcoholics Anonymous. May 11, 1939 – First group to oﬃcially call itself Alcoholics Anonymous meets at Abby G.'s house in Cleveland (some sources say the 18th). June 7, 1939 – Bill and Lois Wilson have an argument, the frst of two times Bill almost slipped.

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June 25, 1939 – Te New York Times reviewer writes that the Big Book is "more soundly based psychologically than any other treatment I have ever come upon." July 1939 – Warren C. joins AA Cleveland, causes debate because he was not hospitalized. July 4, 1939 –Te frst AA meeting starts in Flatbush, NY. July 14, 1939 – Dr. Tiebout gives Big Book to Marty M. who promptly throws it back at him. August 1939 – Dr. Bob writes & may have signed article for Faith magazine. August 16, 1939 – Dr. Bob and Sister Ignatia admit 1st alcoholic to St. Tomas Hospital, Akron, Ohio. September 1, 1939 –Te frst AA group founded in Chicago by Earl T. September 30, 1939 – Article appears in Liberty magazine, "Alcoholics and God" by Morris Markey. October 1939 –Te frst central committee formed in Cleveland; 1st example AA rotation. October 14, 1939 – Journal of American Medical Association gives Big Book unfavorable review. October 21, 1939 – Cleveland Plain Dealer begins series of articles on AA by Elrick Davis. November/December 1939 – Akron group withdraws from association with Oxford Group. Meetings moved from T. Henry & Clarence Williams to Dr. Bob and other members’ homes. November 13, 1939 – Bill wants to go to work at Towns Hosp, NY. Drunks want him to stay on as head of the movement. November 21, 1939 – AA's in San Francisco hold 1st California AA meeting in the Clift Hotel. November 26, 1939 – Dilworth Lupton gives sermon "Mr. X and Alcoholics Anonymous.” It becomes one of frst pamphlets on AA. November 28, 1939 – Hank P. writes Bill advocating autonomy for all AA groups. December 1939 – Te frst AA group in mental institution, Rockland State Hospital, NY. December 1939 – Te frst home meeting in Los Angeles at Kaye M.'s house. December 1939 – Matt Talbot Club has 88 members, uses wagons to collect old furniture to recondition & sell, not AA, uses AA program material, marks 1st eﬀort reach alcoholics outside married middle-class catEgory.

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December 6, 1939 – Bert the Tailor lends Works Publishing $1000. January 4, 1940 – Te frst AA group formed in Detroit, Michigan. January 10, 1940 – Te frst AA meeting not in a home meets at King School, Akron, Ohio. February 1940 – Te frst AA clubhouse opens at 334-1/2 West 24th Street, NYC. February 8, 1940 – Rockefeller dinner. February 8, 1940 – Houston Press runs frst of six anonymous articles on AA by Larry J. February 28, 1940 – First organization meeting of Philadelphia AA is held at McCready Huston's room at 2209 Delancy Street. March 1940 – Mort J. comes to LA from Denver; starts custom of reading Chapter 5 from the Big Book at Cecil Group. March 7, 1940 – Bill and Lois visit the Philadelphia AA group. Any drunk who wants to get well is more than welcome at the AA meeting at 115 Newbury St., at 8 PM Wednesdays. March 16, 1940 – Alcoholic Foundation & Works Publishing move from Newark to 30 Vesey St. in lower Manhattan. First headquarters of its own. April 1, 1940 – Larry J. of Houston, writes "Te Texas Prayer,” used to open AA meetings in Texas. April 16, 1940 – A sober Rollie H. catches the frst opening day no-hitter in baseball history since 1909. April 19, 1940 – Te frst AA group in Little Rock, Arkansas, is formed. First 'mail order' group. April 22, 1940 – Bill and Hank transfer their Works Publishing stock to the Alcoholic Foundation. April 23, 1940 – Dr. Bob writes the Trustees to refuse Big Book royalties, but Bill W. insists that Dr. Bob and Anne receive them. April 24, 1940 – Te frst AA pamphlet, "AA,” is published. May 1, 1940 – Rollie H., of the Cleveland Indians, is frst to break anonymity on national level. May 4, 1940 – Sunday Star reports founding of frst AA group in Washington, DC. June 5, 1940 – Ebby Tacher takes a job at the NY World’s Fair. June 6, 1940 – Te frst AA Group in Richmond, VA, is formed. June 15, 1940 – Te frst AA Group in Baltimore, MD, is formed.

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June 18, 1940 – One hundred attend the frst meeting in the frst AA clubhouse at 334-1/2 West 24th St., New York City. July 7, 1940 – Bill attends 1st Summer Session at School of Alcohol Studies at Yale University. July 8, 1940 – Te frst AA Group is formed in Dayton, Ohio. July 23, 1940 – Philly AAs send 10% of kitty to Alcoholic Foundation; sets precedent. September 1940 – AA group is started in Toledo by Duke P. & others. September 1940 – Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases gives Big Book unfavorable review. September 24, 1940 – Bill 12 steps Bobbie V., who later replaced Ruth Hock as his secretary in NY. November 10, 1940 – Te frst AA group is formed in Minneapolis. November 12, 1940 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Boston. November 14, 1940 – Alcoholic Foundation publishes 1st AA Bulletin. December 1940 – Te frst AA group is formed in St. Louis, Missouri. December 1940 – Group is started in Ashtabula, Ohio due to Plain Dealer articles. AA Cleveland has about 30 groups. December 1, 1940 – Chicago Daily Tribune begins a series of articles on AA by Nall Hamilton. February 15, 1941 – Baltimore Sunday Sun reports that the city's frst AA group, begun in June 1940, has grown from 3 to 40 members. February 20, 1941 – Te Toledo Blade publishes frst of three articles on AA by Seymour Rothman. March 1941 – Second printing of Big Book. March 1941 – Te frst Prison AA Group is formed at San Quentin. March 1, 1941 – Jack Alexander's Saturday Evening Post article is published and membership jumps from 2,000 to 8,000 by year’s end. March 7, 1941 – Boston newspaper reports that any drunk who wants can attend that city’s frst AA meeting. March 9, 1941 – Wichita Beacon reports AA member from NY who wants to form a group in Wichita. March 15, 1941 – Te frst AA group is formed in New Haven, Connecticut. Not reported in paper until Oct 1, 1941.

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April 3, 1941 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Florida. April 7, 1941 – Ruth Hock reports there are 1,500 letters asking for help as a result of the Saturday Evening Post Article by Jack Alexander. April 11, 1941 – Bill and Lois fnally fnd a home, Stepping Stones in New Bedford. April 19, 1941 –Te frst AA group in the State of Washington is formed in Seattle. May 1, 1941 –Te frst Wisconsin AA meeting is held at a hotel in Milwaukee. May 2, 1941 – Jacksonville, FL newspaper reports the start of an AA group in Jacksonville. May 3, 1941 – Te frst AA group in New Orleans, Louisiana, is formed (sometimes dated as May 2, 1943.) May 3, 1941 – Democrat Chronicle in Rochester, NY, reports frst annual AA dinner at Seneca hotel with 60 attending. May 16, 1941 – Ruth Hock fnds that Joe Worth (former publisher of the New Yorker) is credited in Hank Parkhurst’s diaries with coming up with the name Alcoholics Anonymous, has a "wet brain.” June 7, 1941 – Te frst AA Group in St. Paul, Minnesota, is formed. June 8, 1941 – Tree AAs start a group in Kalamazoo, Michigan. June 30, 1941 – Ruth Hock shows Bill Wilson the Serenity Prayer and it is adopted readily by AA. July 10, 1941 – Texas newspaper publishes anonymous letter from founding member of Texas AA Group. (Larry J.) July 20, 1941 – Te frst AA group is formed in Seattle, Washington. August 1941 – Te frst meeting in Orange County, California is held in Anaheim. August 19, 1941 – Te frst AA Meeting in Colorado is held in Denver. September 13, 1941 – WHJP in Jacksonville, FL airs Spotlight on AA. October 1, 1941 – Local news organizations report 1st AA Group in New Haven, CT. October 6, 1941 – 900 dine at Cleveland dinner for Dr. Bob. November 1941 – "First Mass AA Meeting" in Oklahoma City, 8 present. December 11, 1941 – Dallas Morning News reports 1st AA group is formed in Dallas. February 1 or 2, 1942 – Ruth Hock, AA's 1st paid secretary, resigns to get married. May 17, 1942 – Te Dayton Journal Herald publishes pictures of AA members wearing masks to protect their anonymity.

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May 17, 1942 – New Haven, CT paper has article on AA. Picture shows faces of members sitting in a circle. June 17, 1942 – New York AA groups Sponsor the frst annual NY area meeting. Four hundred and twenty-four hear Dr. Silkworth and AA speakers. June 19, 1942 – Columnist Earl Wilson reports that NYC Police Chief Valentine sent six policemen to AA and they sobered up. "Tere are fewer suicides in my fles," he comments. October 1942 – Te frst issue of Cleveland Central Bulletin is published. January 1, 1943 – Columbus Dispatch reports 1st Anniversary of Columbus, Ohio Central Group. January 19, 1943 – Te frst discussion for starting AA group in Toronto. February 18, 1943 – During gas rationing in WWII, AAs are granted the right to use cars for 12th step work in emergency cases. March 29, 1943 – Te Charleston Mail, WV, reports on Bill W.'s talk at St. John's Parish House. May 8, 1943 – Akron AA Group celebrates 8th anniversary with 500 present and sober. July 23, 1943 – New Haven CT Register reports arrival of AAs to study with E. M. Jellinek. July 24, 1943 – LA press reports formation of all-Mexican AA Group. August 1, 1943 – Washington Times-Herald (DC) reports on AA clubhouse; to protect anonymity withholds address. August 9, 1943 – LA groups announce 1000 members in 11 groups. October 10, 1943 – 6 of 1st 9 AAs attend clubhouse anniversary in Toledo. October 24, 1943 – Wilson starts 1st major AA tour, returns Jan 19, 1944. November 28, 1943 – Bill guest speaker at San Quentin Penitentiary (sometimes dated Dec 2, 1943). January 1944 – Dr. Harry Tiebout's frst paper on the subject of Alcoholics Anonymous. January 19, 1944 – Wilsons return from 1st major AA tour started in Oct 24 1943. March 10, 1944 – New York Intergroup is established. July 1944 – Bob writes article for Grapevine "On Cultivating Tolerance.” June 21, 1944 – Te frst Issue of the AA Grapevine is published.

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October 1944 – First non-American branch started in Sydney, Australia by Father T. V. Dunlea & Rex. October 2, 1944 – Marty M. founds National Committee Education Alcoholism, later becomes National Council on Alcoholism. January 15, 1945 – Te frst AA meeting is held in Springfeld, Missouri. January 24, 1945 – Te frst black group is established in St. Louis. March 5, 1945 – Time Magazine reports Detroit radio broadcasts of AA members (Archie T.). June 11, 1945 – 2500 attend AA's 10th Anniversary in Cleveland, Ohio. June 13, 1945 – Morgan R. makes a radio appearance for AA with large audience. He is kept under surveillance to make sure he doesn’t drink. October 3, 1945 – AA Grapevine is adopted as national publication of AA. November 1945 – Bill's article called 'Tose Goof Balls' is published in Grapevine. December 20, 1945 – Rowland H. dies (he carried the Oxford Group message to Ebby). January 1946 – Readers Digest does a story on AA. March 1946 – Te March of Time flm is produced by NY AA oﬃce. May 6, 1946 – Te long form of the "Twelve Traditions" is published in the AA Grapevine. September 1946 – Bill & Dr. Bob both publicly endorse National Committee Education Alcoholism founded by Marty M. September 1946 – Te frst AA group in Mexico. November 18, 1946 – Te frst Dublin Ireland group meets. March 31, 1947 – Te frst AA group is formed in London, England. September 18, 1947 – Dallas Central Oﬃce opens its doors. October 13, 1947 – "Te Melbourne Group" holds its frst meeting in Australia. November 1, 1947 – Te frst AA Group in Anchorage, Alaska. January 1948 – Te frst AA meeting in Japan. June 1948 – A subscription to the AA Grapevine is donated to the Beloit, Wisconsin Public Library by a local AA member. September 1948 – Bob writes article for Grapevine on AA "Fundamentals – In Retrospect.” December 1948 – Dr. Bob's last major talk, in Detroit. March 1949 – Dr. Bob considers idea of an AA conference premature.

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March 11, 1949 – Te Calix Society, an association of Roman Catholic alcoholics who are maintaining their sobriety through participation in Alcoholics Anonymous, is formed in Minneapolis by fve Catholic AA members. May 1949 – Te frst AA meetings in Scotland are held in Glasgow and Edinburgh. June 1, 1949 – Anne Smith, Dr. Bob's wife, dies. September 1949 – Te frst issue of Grapevine is published in "pocketbook" size. November 15, 1949 – Bill W. suggests that groups devote Tanksgiving week to discussions of the 12 Traditions. December 7, 1949 – Sister Ignatia receives Poverello Medal on behalf of AA. April 1950 – Saturday Evening Post article "Te Drunkard's Best Friend" by Jack Alexander appears. May 1950 – Nell Wing becomes Bill W.'s secretary. May 1951 – Al-Anon is founded by Lois W. and Anne B. May 18, 1950 – Dr. Bob tells Bill "I reckon we ought to be buried like other folks" after hearing that local AAs want a huge memorial. July 28-30, 1950 – Te frst AA International Convention is held in Cleveland, Ohio. Twelve Traditions are adopted. Dr. Bob makes last appearance at large AA gathering. November 16, 1950 – Dr. Bob dies. December 1950 – Grapevine article is signed by both Bill and Dr. Bob recommending the establishment of AA General Service Conference. January 1951 – AA Grapevine publishes memorial issue for Dr. Bob. February 1951 – Fortune magazine article about AA New York reprints in pamphlet form for many years. March 1951 – American Weekly publishes memorial article for Dr. Bob. March 22, 1951 – Dr. William Duncan Silkworth dies at Towns Hospital. April 25, 1951 – AA's frst General Service Conference is held. October 1951 – Lasker Award is given to AA by American Public Health Association. October 1951 – Sister Ignatia writes "Care of Alcoholics – St.Tomas Hospital & AA Started Movement Which Swept Country" article in "Hospital Progress," the journal of Catholic Hospital Association. In October 1954 – Te "Alcoholic Foundation" is renamed the "General Service Board of AA." November 21, 1952 – Willard Richardson, past Treasurer/Chairman of Alcoholic Foundation, dies.

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January 21, 1954 – Hank P. who helped Bill start NY oﬃce dies in Pennington, New Jersey. August 3, 1954 – Brinkley S. gets sober at Towns Hosp after 50th detox. August 28, 1954 – "24 Hours a Day" is published by Richmond W. September 17, 1954 – Bill D., AA #3 dies. July 2-3, 1955 – 20th Anniversary Convention at St. Louis, MO. Te Tree Legacies of Recovery, Unity, and Service, is turned over to the movement by the old- timers. AA comes of Age. October 1, 1957 – Book "AA Comes of Age" is published. January 1958 – Bill writes article for Grapevine on "Emotional Sobriety.” April 1958 – Te word "honest" is dropped from AA Preamble, "an honest desire to stop drinking.” February 23, 1959 – AA grants permission to "Recording for the Blind" to tape the Big Book. April 3, 1960 – Fr. Ed Dowling, S.J., dies. He was Bill W.'s "spiritual Sponsor." July 1-3, 1960 – 25th Anniversary of AA in Long Beach, CA. July 11, 1960 – Time publishes article called "Passionately Anonymous" on the 25th Convention. January 30, 1961 – Dr. Carl Jung answers Bill's letter with "Spiritus Contra Spiritum.” September, 1962 – Te frst appearance of Victor E. in Grapevine. February 1963 – Harpers carries article critical of AA. November 1, 1963 – Reverend Sam Shoemaker dies. July 2, 1965 – Te frst copies of "Best of Bill" and Pocket-Sized "12 and 12" are sold. July 2, 1965 – Te frst "La Vigne,” Canadian Grapevine, is published. July 2-4, 1965 – 30th Anniversary of AA in Toronto. Adopts "I Am Responsible." July 16, 1965 – Frank Amos, AA Non-Alcoholic Trustee, dies. September 19, 1965 – Te Saturday Evening Post publishes article "Alcoholics Can Be Cured – Despite AA.” March 21, 1966 – Ebby dies. April 1966 – Change in ratio of trustees of the General Service Board; now two- thirds (majority) are alcoholic. April 1, 1966 – Sister Ignatia dies.

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April 2, 1966 – Dr. Harry Tiebout dies. November 9, 1966 – President Johnson appoints Marty M. to the 1st National Advisory Committee on Alcoholism. February 19, 1967 – Father "John Doe" (Ralph P.), 1st Catholic Priest in AA dies. October 9-11, 1969 – Te frst World Service meeting is held in New York with delegates from 14 countries. April 1970 – GSO is moved to 468 Park Ave. South, NYC. July 3-5, 1970 – 35th Anniversary of AA in Miami. "Declaration of Unity.” Bill's last public appearance. October 10, 1970 – Lois reads "Bills Last Message" at annual dinner in NY. January 24, 1971 – Bill W. dies at Miami Beach, FL. January 26, 1971 – New York Times publishes Bill's obituary on Page 1. February 14, 1971 – AA groups worldwide hold memorial service for Bill W. May 8, 1971 – Bill W. is buried in private ceremony, East Dorset, Vermont. July 31, 1972 – Rollie H. dies sober in Washington, DC. October 5-7, 1972 – 2nd World Service meeting is held in New York. April 16, 1973 – Dr. Jack Norris presents President Nixon with the one millionth copy of the Big Book. October 24, 1973 – Trustees’ Archives Committee of AA at its frst meeting May 28, 1974 – Te frst World Service Meeting of AA outside North America is held in London. July 4-6, 1975 – 40th Anniversary of AA in Denver. World’s largest coﬀee server serves half million cups a day. September 19, 1975 – Jack Alexander, author of original Saturday Evening Post article, dies. December 10, 1975 – Birds of a Feather AA group for pilots is formed. June 6, 1979 – AA gives the two millionth copy of the Big Book to Joseph Califano, then Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. It is presented by Lois Wilson, Bill's wife, in New York. December 6, 1979 – Akron Beacon reports death of Henrietta Seiberling. May 29, 1980 – "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" is published. July 3-6, 1980 – 45th Anniversary of AA in New Orleans. First true marathon meeting is held.

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July 3-6, 1980 – Gay AAs have own program at 40th AA Anniversary in New Orleans. July 22, 1980 – Marty M. early AA woman and founder of NCADD dies. August 1981 – Distribution of Alcoholics Anonymous passes 3 million. December 1982 – Nell Wing retires from GSO after 35 years of service. March 22, 1984 – Clarence S., "Home Brewmeister,” dies. December 5, 1985 – Dave B., founder of Montreal Group dies weeks before 50th anniversary. His story is added to the 4th Edition Big Book. July 5-7, 1985 – 50th AA Anniversary in Montreal, Canada. Ruth Hock is given fve millionth Big Book. January 13, 1988 – Dr. Jack Norris Chairman/Trustee of AA for 27 years dies. August 18, 1988 – Te frst Canadian National AA Convention in Halifax, Nova Scotia. October 5, 1988 – Lois Burnam Wilson dies. October 8, 1988 – Memorial Service for Lois W. at Stepping Stones, NY. October 10, 1988 – Lois is buried next to Bill in East Dorset, Vermont. April 30, 1989 – Film "My Name is Bill W." a Hallmark presentation is broadcast on ABC TV. July 5-8, 1990 – 55th AA Anniversary in Seattle, WA. Nell Wing given ten millionth Big Book. July 2, 1993 – 50 years of AA is celebrated in Canada. Oct 28, 1994 – National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence celebrates 50 years. January 19, 1999 – Frank M., AA Archivist since 1983, dies peacefully in his sleep. February 14, 2000 – William Y., "California Bill," dies in Winston-Salem, NC. May 19, 2000 – Dr. Paul O., Big Book story "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict" (renamed "Acceptance Was the Answer" in the 4th edition) dies at the age of 83. June 2000 – More than 47,000 from 87 countries attend the opening meeting of the 65th AA Anniversary in Minneapolis, MN. July 2, 2000 – Twenty millionth copy of Big Book is given to Al-Anon in Minneapolis, MN. January 5, 2001 – Chuck C. from Houston dies sober in Texas at 38 years sober. September 11, 2001 – 30 Vesey St, New York, location of AA's frst oﬃce is destroyed during the World Trade Center attack.

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sponsormagazine.info Bibliography

Drunks and Other Poems of Recovery BY JACK MCCARTHY Jack is the author of the emotional poem “Drunks” that provides the anchor for this book, We want you to know poet Jack McC. as who he was. We missed him by a few days when we tried to reach him to tell him the decision had been made to move forward with the second edition of the book. His other works share the experience of Recovery with a rich, full-tilt run into life from the unlikely world of the “Poetry Slams” from around the country. His website provides his life, his work and access to what he left us. He provided spirit to keep me going in the frst edition and, we hope, remains much appreciated beyond the cirlce of people who were lucky enough to know him. You can also enjoy his performance of “Be Careful What You Ask for” on Youtube: https://youtu.be/xsTZohyFFJE

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And you can get his work in print and other media through: http://standupoet.net

Not God BY DR. ERNIE KURTZ Tis was a landmark work where the history of Alcoholics Anonymous was examined outside the restrictions of the service structure. Tis means it approached issues many people within the World Service Oﬃce would not have allowed to be explored, and does not make every portrait it paints fattering. But Dr. Kurtz blazed a trail which many other writers, scholars and educators have followed. He also provided helpful guidance in the creation, and now the revision, of Recovery Reader, and it is through his work we found a place to stand.

The Recovery Book, 2nd Edition BY CAROLYN DOLD, DR. AL J. MOONEY, M.D., AND HOWARD EISENBERG Te Second Edition of Recovery has been released and is a serious historical updating of an early book showing the academic, medical and philosophical aspects of Recovery. Tis book provides physicians viewpoitns and experience with many decades actively involved with the problems of the individual in clarifying the problem of alcoholism and addiction through identifcation, treatment and life after treatment. http://theRecoverybook.com/

Slaying the Dragon, 2nd Edition BY WILLIAM WHITE Tis is a book targeted at academic and professional communities, which contains a wealth of research on the histories of Recovery systems before the emergence of the Twelve Steps with rich documentation on the evolution of the movement in this country. http://goo.gl/qx0wBo

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The pre-aa history book BY BOB S. Tis is a detailed work, lovingly compiled to cover the area from the late 19th Century growth and decline of Te Washingtonians, the psychological writings of Sigmund Freud and Karl Jung, through the Emmanuel Movement, the Jacobi Group and includes details on Te Oxford groups. Tere is no print-on-demand copy available at this time and the downloaded PDF is free to share with whomever you choose. Te book is avaialable at: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/102806363/PreAAx.pdf Additional Book Recommendations Recovery has invited personal refections, histories and biographies from its earliest days. Tis list is incomplete, but mostly because authors have risen, gained popularity with the Recovering community, and gone. Teir works were lost as publishing houses folded, or copyrights expired and the public no longer wanted to hear what they had to say. But you would be amazed at what a variety of stories they tell of times, communities and, above all, the people who brought our Program to us. We enjoy the gifts these authors have given us. Tey allow us to enjoy how our Program arrived, changed and became what we know today. From AA World Services AA comes of Age - AA World Services Dr Bob and the Good Old Timers - AA World Services Language of the Heart - AA World Services Lois Remembers AA World Services Pass It On - Bill Wilson and the AA Message, AA World Services World services oﬀers a large number of conference approved writings in English and other languages.

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from Other Publishers AA Master Inventory - Dick B $25 to Purchase Read Free Online 2002 New Editions Available soon A Simple Program by J Big Book rewritten in Modern Language Alcoholics Anonymous Cult or Cure - Charles Buffe Anne Smith's Journal - Dick B. Beware the 1st Drink!! The Washingtonian Temperance Society and AA - by Bill Pittman, 1991 Blumberg Pittman Bill W. and Mr. Wilson - Matthew J. Raphael (pseudonym) Highly recommended!! Bill W. - Francis Hartigan Bill W. - Robert Thomsen c.1975, Published by Harper & Row Bill W., My First 40 Years, an Autobiography by the Cofounder of AA - Bill Pittman, Hazleden Publisher But, for the Grace of God… Wally P., Bishop of Books Changed by Grace: V. C. Kitchen, the Oxford Group, and AA - Glenn Chestnut, September 2006 Changed Lives: The Story of Alcoholics Anonymous - Dennis C. Morreim 1992 Children of the Healer, the Story of Dr. Bob's Kids - Sue Smith Windows, Hazelden Conversion of Bill W - Dick B. www.dickb.com Courage To Change: Shoemaker - Bill Pittman and Dick B., Hazelden Diary of Two Motorcycle Hobos by Lois Wilson, Gratitude Press, This book was pulled from publication - scarce!!! Ebby the Man who Sponsored Bill Wilson - Mel B., 1998 Hazelden Getting Better Inside AA - Nan Robertson, 1988 Thomas Congan Books Grateful to Have Been There - Nell Wing How It Worked, the Story of Clarence H. Snyder - Mitchell K. Out of Print Read on Web Mrs. Marty Mann : The First Lady of AA - Sally Brown Hazelden My Name Is Bill: Bill Wilson: His Life and the Creation of Alcoholics Anonymous - Susan Cheever 2006 My Search for Bill W. - Mel B., 2000 Hazelden

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New Wine - Mel B., 1991 Hazelden Physician, Heal Thyself! - Dr. Earle M., CompCare Publishers Practice These Principles/What is Oxford Group - Bill Pittman, Hazelden Road to Fellowship: Role of the Emmanuel Movement /Jacoby Club and AA - Richard M. Dubiel, 2004 Silkworth: The Dr. Who Loved Drunks - Dale Mitchel-Hazleden 2002 Sister Ignatia: Angel of Alcoholics Anonymous by Mary Darrah, Loyola Univ Press) That Amazing Grace - Dick B., Paradise Research Publications The Higher Power of the Twelve-Step Program: For Believers & Non-believers - Glenn Chestnut 2001, The Collected Ernie Kurtz - Bishop of Books The Lois Wilson Story -When Love Is Not Enough - William G. Borchert, 2005 The Natural History of Alcoholism - George E. Valiant The Roots of AA - Bill Pittman Hazelden - Out of Print - Original title: AA The Way It Began The Soul of Sponsorship : The Friendship of Fr. Ed Dowling and Bill Wilson - Robert Fitzgerald The Spirituality of Imperfection - Ernest Kurtz, Katherine Ketcham The Steps We Took: A Teacher of the Twelve Steps Shares His Experience, Strength, and Hope - Joe McQ There's More to Quitting Drinking than Quitting Drinking - Dr. Paul O., Sabrina Pub. To Be Continued-AA World Bibliography - Charles Bishop and Bill Pittman, Bishop Books OUT OF PRINT Turning Point AA Comprehensive History - Dick B. this Book covers all the bases. Oxford Akron Twelve Step Sponsorship: How It Works - Hamilton B., Hazelden Understanding the 12 Steps - Terrence T Gorski, Fireside/Parkside 1991 Women Pioneers in 12 Step Recovery - Charlotte Hunter

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sponsormagazine.info

Internet Recommendations

In the 21st Century it would be irresponsible to publish this kind of book without references to the links that have become a serious part of our regular search for details and new resources. And, as with books, there are some which become more valuable than others, and we would like to share the addresses of a few websites that have become our favorites. Listing does not indicate any association, endorsement or approval by the authors of the individual sites. xa-speakers.org Tis is the website that became a serious channel of experience, strength and hope. Te name of the site comes from the fact that they oﬀer recorded talks from many fellowships; AA, NA, Al-Anon and others. Te “x” of xa- speakers.org is a place-holder. Which ever -A you fnd valuable here, they will keep it available. You can search the site by fellowship, name, event, or topic, and they usually have all the parts of multi-speaker events. Te site is free and there is a request to support it through a PayPal donation button, and applying the Seventh Tradition to help the site support its costs is a good thing. silkworth.net Named for Dr. Silkworth at Towns Hospital, this site has become a staple for students and researchers for twelve step history and process. It oﬀers an in depth library, most of which can be downloaded and has been helpful in many papers and options in various media. Te editors of this book use silkworth.net regularly for general and detailed docu-mentation.

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hindsfoot.org A site offering a scholarly tone and deep archive of material on AA, the Twelve Steps, and the internal and external history of people, events, organizations and attitudes surrounding the growth of the Program. Tis is an excellent resource for any student or researcher, and also offers information of value to individuals with an interest in the process, or Sponsors looking to improve their usefulness to others. anonpress.org Te anonpress.org site has been the source of study information, including various versions of the Second Edition (public domain) version of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Tese versions include a red-cover and camo-cover vest- pocket edition with original Chapter Five manuscript version and directory to most service offices around the world; reproductions of the First Edtion (red and yellow cover); ‘study editions’ (hardback and paperback Second Editions with each page faced with a lined blank page for extensive annotation); an in-depth Concordance to the frst 188 pages plus Appendix II; and a detailed index to the frst 164 pages. We recommend the free version of the index to the frst 164 pages, which can be used through the online page and on that page there is a link to download a free version to your computer. (http://anonpress.org/bbindex/) Additional Web Resources aahistory.com 164andmore.com thejaywalker.com www.royy.com/concord.html www.bigbookdictionary.com barefootsworld.net/aahistory.html whytehouse.com/big_book_search

Submit corrections, additions or deletions to [email protected]

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sponsormagazine.info

12 Step Fellowships

Anon Family Group Inc. 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617 (757) 563-1600 al-anon.alateen.org

All Addicts Anonymous (AAA) 40 Wickstead Way Tornhill, Ont L3T 5E4 Canada Tel: (416) 657 7771 alladdictsanonymous.org

AA World Services, Inc., PO Box 459 New York, NY 10163 (212) 870-3400 aa.org

Adult Children of Alcoholics WSO (ACA) PO Box 3216 Torrance, CA 90510 USA (562) 595-7831 adultchildren.org

Cocaine Anonymous WSO (CA) PO Box 492000 Los Angeles, CA 90049-8000 www.ca.org

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Clutterers Anonymous World Service Organization (CLA WSO) PO Box 91413 Los Angeles, CA 90009-1413 (310) 281-6064 sites.google.com/site/clutterersanonymous

Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA) CMA General Services 4470 W Sunset Blvd Ste 107 PMB 555 Los Angeles, CA 90027-6302 www.crystalmeth.org

Co-Dependents Anonymous Fellowship Services Oﬃce (CoDA) PO Box 33577 Phoenix, AZ 85067-3577 coda.org

Co-Anon Family Groups World Services PO Box 12722 Tucson, AZ 85732-2722 (520) 513-5028 co-anon.org

COSA - Codependents of Sex Addicts ISO of COSA PO Box 79908 Houston, TX 77279-9908 /.llowship-Wide Services 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste 118 San Antonio, TX 78209 slaafws.org

Debtors Anonymous General Service Oﬃce (DA) PO Box 920888 Needham, MA 02492-0009 Toll Free: (800) 421-2383 - US Only (781) 453-2743

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Depressed Anonymous PO Box 17414 Louisville, KY 40217

Dual Recovery Anonymous World Network Central Oﬃce PO Box 8107 Prairie Village, Kansas 66208 draonline.org

Eating Addictions Anonymous (EAA) General Service Oﬃce PO Box 8151 Silver Spring, MD 20907-8151 (202) 882-6528 eatingaddictionsanonymous.org

Emotions Anonymous International (EA) PO Box 4245, St. Paul, MN 55104-0245 Phone: (651) 647-9712 emotionsanonymous.org/

Emotional Health Anonymous (EHA) San Gabriel Valley Intergroup PO Box 2081 San Gabriel, CA 91778 (626) 287-6260 PH

Families Anonymous (FA) P O Box 3475 Culver City, CA 90231-3475 (800) 736-9805 FamiliesAnonymous.org

Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) 400 W Cummings Park #1700 Woburn, MA 01801 (781) 931-6300 foodaddicts.org

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Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA) 529 N W Prima Vista Blvd. #301 A Port St. Lucie, FL 34983 (561) 967-3871

Gamblers Anonymous® (GA) International Service Oﬃce PO Box 17173 Los Angeles, CA 90017 (213) 386-8789 gamblersanonymous.org

Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen for friends and family members of problem gamblers Gam-Anon® International Service Oﬃce, Inc. PO Box 157 Whitestone, NY 11357 (718) 352-1671 gam-anon.org

GreySheeters Anonymous (GSA) greysheet.org

Methadone Anonymous (MA) methadonesupport.org/

Marijuana Anonymous World Services (MA) PO Box 7807 Torrance, CA 90504 1 (800) 766-6779 marijuana-anonymous.org

Crystalmeth Anonymous (CMA) General Services 4470 W Sunset Blvd Ste 107 PMB 555 Los Angeles, CA 90027-6302 (213) 488-4455 crystalmeth.org

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Narcotics Anonymous (NA) PO Box 9999 Van Nuys, CA 91409 (818) 773-9999 na.org

NAIL - Neurotics Anonymous See Emotions Anonymous

Nar-Anon for friends and family members of addicts Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters 22527 Crenshaw Blvd Suite 200B Torrance, CA 90505 (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291 nar-anon.org

NicA - Nicotine Anonymous World Services 419 Main Street, PMB# 370 Huntington Beach, CA 92648 Toll Free: (877) 879-6422

Obsessive Compulsive Foundation PO Box 961029 Boston, MA 02196 (617) 973-5801 ocfoundation.org

PA - Pills Anonymous pillanonymous.org

Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. (OA) PO Box 44020 Rio Rancho, NM 87174-4020 USA

On-Line Gamers Anonymous World Services (OLGA) 104 Miller Lane Harrisburg, PA 17110 (612) 245-1115

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Recoveries Anonymous Universal Services Box 1212 East Northport, NY 11731

Recovering Couples Anonymous WSO Oﬃce (RCA) PO Box 11029 Oakland, CA 94611 (781) 794-1456 recovering-couples.org

SA - Smokers Anonymous See Nicotine Anonymous

SA - Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Oﬃce PO Box 3565 Brentwood, TN 37024 (615) 370-6062 sa.org

ISO of Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) PO Box 70949 Houston, TX 77270 USA (713) 869-4902 sexaa.org

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) PO Box 1585, Old Chelsea Station New York, NY 10011

SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Fellowship-Wide Services 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste 118 San Antonio, TX 78209 slaafws.org

Spender's Anonymous spenders.org

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Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) World Service Oﬃce PO Box 190 Benson, MD 21018-9998 (410) 893-3322

Workaholics Anonymous (WA) World Service Organization Post Oﬃce Box 289 Menlo Park, California 94026-0289 U.S.A. Phone: (510) 273-9253 workaholics-anonymous.org

Parents Anonymous (PA) Parents Anonymous® Inc. 675 West Foothill Blvd., Suite 220 Claremont, CA 91711-3475 (909) 621-6184 parentsanonymous.org

Submit corrections, additions or deletions to [email protected]

– 402 – Recovery Reader – Second Edition The Sponsor Magazine Symbol

When we started the Anonymous Review project, it became clear that we needed to change the name. Sponsor Magazine was a thought, but we wanted a simple graphic that would convey the idea of sponsorship. Tis graphic came from consideration of several idea. • A Warning Sign (in Black and Yellow) • Te Steps • Each one following the one before him • Te one in front carrying a light

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In the original, square version it was clear there were two other peope on the steps - the one the man on the Steps was following, and someone following the frst follower. We have used the two-person symbol in the diamond ‘warning sign’ style, a circle, and the original square. It may show up in other forms in the future.

Original Graphic

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