UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA HEALTH SYSTEM

Jefferson District 9 Intergroup CrossTalk AA NewsLetter June/July 2012 Charlottesville, VA Area Volume 1 Issue 2 Hand Of When Sharing in Meetings is Not Enough… “CrossTalk!” AA [email protected] 24 Happy Founder’s Day, AA! Seventy-Seven Years! Hour A stock down the bottle (June 10, up more than a Christmas b r o k e r 1935), never to pick it up Turkey. So just what do you from New York, Bill W. had again. The bond formed think you, a man like you, Help traveled to Akron, Ohio on between the two men could do for me”? There was May 12, 1935 for a share- would grow into a move- a still pause while Bill W. just holders' meeting and proxy ment that would literally stared at Doctor Bob for a Line fight, which did not turn affect the lives of millions. moment. It seemed he had a out his way. At the time, Bill sense that he would be cut This is a transcript from W. had been sober for off again if he spoke. As the the Hallmark Hall of Fame 434- about five months. silence and pause continued, Movie titled, “My Name Is he simply replied to Doctor Drawn to the Bar Bill W.” in which Bill W. Bob; “Doctor Smith, I didn’t 293-6565 and Doctor Bob have their After losing the proxy fight, come here to help you. I very first conversation: I am Responsible. he found himself alone in a came here to help me”. strange town and feeling While meeting for the When anyone, any- Starting in an upstairs room where, reaches out for depressed, according to very first time at Doctor at Dr. Bob's home at 855 help, I want the hand accounts of the events. He Bob’s house, Doctor Bob Ardmore Avenue, in Akron, of A.A. always to be felt himself being drawn to said to Bill W.; “The Rever- the two men began helping there. And for that I the bar in the Mayflower end Tunks and Henrietta alcoholics’ one person at a am responsible. Hotel where he was staying. are good friends and car- time. Fighting desperately to ing people, and it is be- INSIDE maintain his sobriety, his cause of them that I, well I It took four years to get the CROSSTALK immediate reaction was, had more than my share first 100 alcoholics sober in "I've got to find another of um, help you might the first three groups that  A Newcomer Shares say”. Bill interrupted with, alcoholic." formed in Akron, New York,  Spotlight On History “Doctor, I-- Bob quickly There are conflicting ver- and Cleveland. But after the cut Bill off saying; “Let me  AA Word Puzzle sions of exactly what hap- tell you straight out, I publication in 1939 of the pened next, but the result consider my problem group's "text book," Alcohol-  Personal Articles was Bill W. ended up meet- personal. I didn’t ask for ics Anonymous, and the  Describe Your ing with an Akron surgeon help from well-meaning publication of a series of forever to be remembered  Founder‘s Day strangers, as Bill again articles about the group in simply as "Dr. Bob," who tried to speak; “Doctor I’m the Cleveland Plain Dealer,  Upcoming Events had struggled for years not--” Doctor Bob abrupt- the development of A.A. was with his own drinking prob- ly cuts Bill off again with:  District Contact Information lem. “Listen to me Mr. Wilson, rapid. This year, on June 10,  Helpline Phone Numbers The Founders Meet the best have tried their 2012, celebrates 77 years of changing  Sobriety Enhancers The effect the meeting had wares on me, Medical Men, Psychiatrist, and the world, one person at a time. on Dr. Bob was immediate,  Meeting News as he tells it in his own Ministers. I have been Happy Founder’s Day, AA! words, and soon he too put prayed over, and carved “CrossTalk” Editors P AGE 2 J EFFERSON D ISTRICT

A Newcomer Shares Help is Available What was your first meeting like? lieved them and felt very comfortable. CALL: How did you feel? I was very nervous, but also very hope- How did you pick your sponsor? 434- ful. I felt welcome and everyone did What traits were you looking for? their best to put me at ease. More im- 293- portant than what I felt was what I did- While going through in-patient treat- 6565 n‘t feel, judged or criticized. ment I began to surrender as much of my life to my Higher Power as I knew AA how. This included not trying to man- What did you like/dislike most? age who God would use in my life Helpline I most liked feeling understood. The and how He would use them. I decid- ed my only requirements for a sponsor people welcoming me showed compas- Visit on the Web: sion and let me know they had been were someone who; worked the steps, jefferson- where I was, and, more importantly, had a sponsor, and genuinely cared they knew how not to stay there. I did- about others. The rest I left up to fob.wordpress.com n‘t understand everything they were God. For Meeting List saying, but they believed it and I be- Submitted by A.F. and More!

Frequently Asked Questions About A.A.'s History (From: WWW.AA.ORG)

Question: What is the history behind reading “The Lord’s Prayer” at meetings?

Answer: It is mentioned in Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers that the prayer was used from the very beginning in the Fellowship, at least as early as 1938 and 1939. In those days there was no AA literature, so the early groups relied heavily on existing prayers, and on the Bible and literature, for inspiration and guidance. Bill W. commented several times in his correspondence about the early use of the Lord‘s Prayer. He wrote a letter to a member in 1959 in which he stated,

“This practice probably came from the Oxford Groups who were influential in the early days of A.A. You have probably noted in A.A. Comes of Age what the connection of these people with A.A. really was. I think saying “The Lord's Prayer” was a custom of theirs following the close of each meeting. Therefore it quite easily got shifted into a general custom among us.”

Bill also wrote the following in a 1955 letter:

―Of course there are always those who seem to be offended by the introduction of any prayer whatever into an ordinary A.A. gath- ering. Also it is sometimes complained that ―The Lord‘s Prayer‖ is a Christian document. Nevertheless, this prayer is of such wide- spread use and recognition that the argument of its Christian origin seems to be a little far-fetched. It is also true that most AA‘s believe in some kind of god and that communication and strength is obtainable through his grace. Since this is the general consen- sus, it seems only right that at least the ―‖ and ―The Lord‘s Prayer‖ be used in connection with our meetings. It does not seem necessary to defer to the feelings of our agnostic and atheist newcomers to the extent of completely hiding ‗our light under a bushel.‘ However, around here, the leader of the meeting usually asks those to join him in ―The Lord‘s Prayer‖ who feel that they would care to do so. The worst that happens to the objectors is that they have to listen to it. This is doubtless a salutary exercise in toler- ance at their stage of progress.‖ As Bill‘s 1955 letter indicates, recitation of ―The Lord‘s Prayer‖ at meetings has clearly been controversial in some circles almost since the beginning. The GSO has responded to letters on this issue since the 1940s and 1950s. It is continually addressed in articles in Box 459 and the AA Grapevine, and has often been asked about at the General Service Conference. For example, at the 1962 Conference, in one of the Ask-It Basket questions, this subject was broached: ―Question: What is the procedure for dealing with individuals who refuse to stand during recitation of ―The Lord's Prayer‖? Answer: Participation—or non-participation—in recitals of ―The Lord's Prayer‖ should be considered a matter of personal conscience and decision.‖ C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER P AGE 3

Directions- June/July 2012 Find all the words listed and use the Mystery remaining letters to Phrase Word List solve the mystery phrase. (Hint– circle Puzzle individual letters that you find to make it easier to see Alcoholics Group Self the left-over letters.) Anonymous Him Seven Asked Humbly Shortcomings Mystery Phrase: Contributions Ought Step

Declining Our Supporting

Answer on back page back on Answer Every Outside Tradition Fully Remove

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We Sound Best When We Listen More!

Intergroup carries a great selection of AA conference approved litera- ture and other recovery related items including a variety of medal- lions, and chips. Contact Jim R. at: [email protected] J EFFERSON D ISTRICT P AGE 4 J EFFERSON D ISTRICT

CHARMING IS THE WORD FOR ALCOHOLICS From:

The fly wings in Alcoholics Anony- when they have found restoration, mous. There are more reasons their sense of humor finds a than one, but I can name a few. blessed freedom, and they are Purple FolderOz able to reach a godlike state They are imaginative, and that where they can laugh at them- helps to make them alcoholics. selves, the very height of self con- Some of them drank to flog their ―Down at the very bottom of the quest. Go to the meetings and ambition onto greater efforts. social scale of AA society are the listen to the laughter. At what are Others guzzled only to black out pariahs, the untouchables, and the they laughing? At ghoulish mem- unendurable demons that rose in outcasts, all known by one excori- ories over which weaker souls their imagination. But when they ating epithet-relatives. would cringe in useless remorse. have found their restoration, their And that makes them wonderful I am a relative. I know my place. imagination is responsive to new people to be with by candlelight. I am not complaining. But I hope incantations, and no one minds if I venture the their talk “They are imaginative, and And they are plaintive confession that there are abounds with that helps to make them possessed of a times, oh, many, many, times color and light, sense of univer- alcoholics.” when I wish I had been an alco- and that makes sal truth. That is holic. By that I mean that I wish I them charming often a new were an AA. The reason is that I companions, too. thing in their hearts. The fact that consider the AA people the most this at-one-ment with God's uni- The AA people are what they are, charming in the world. verse had never been awakened in and they were what they were, them is sometimes the reason why Such is my considered opinion. because they are sensitive, imagi- they drank. The fact that it was at As a journalist it has been my native, possessed of a sense of last awakened is almost always fortune to meet many of the peo- humor and awareness of universal the reason why they were restored ple who are considered charming. truth. They are sensitive, which to the good and simple ways of I number among my friends stars, means they are hurt easily, and life. Stand with them when the and lesser lights of stage and cine- that helped them to become alco- meeting is over, and listen while ma; writers are my daily diet. I holics. But when they have found they say the "Our Father." They know the ladies and gentleman of their restoration, they are still as have found a power greater than both political parties; I have been sensitive as ever: responsive to themselves, which they diligently entertained in the White House. I beauty and to truth and eager serve. And that gives them a have broken bread with kings and about the intangible glories of this charm that never was elsewhere ministers and ambassadors and I life. That makes them charming on land or sea. It makes you know say after that catalog, which could companions. that God, Himself, is really be extended, that I would prefer charming, because the AA people They are possessed with a sense an evening with my AA friends to reflect His mercy and His for- of humor. Even in their cups they any person or group of persons I giveness. have been known to say damnable have indicated. funny things. Often it was being By Fulton Ousler I ask myself why I consider so forced to take seriously the little charming these alcoholic caterpil- and mean things of life that make Liberty Magazine© - 1940 lars who have found their butter- them seek escape in a bottle. But C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER P AGE 5 C HARLOTTESVILLE, VA AREA V OLUME 1 I SSUE 2

Wherever You Go Seattle AA makes his way to C’ville

―Wherever you go, there ic to stay sober. There were a few his experience, strength, and hope you are.‖ A familiar tru- times though, when meetings and with me quite likely saved my life. ism to which we can the recovering alcoholics I met probably all relate. It‘s there where the only things stand- I moved to C‘ville last July from certainly true for this ing between me and a drink. I Seattle. As luck (or HP) would recovering alcoholic— shudder to think what my fate have it, I had a friend here who had wherever I go, my alco- might have been had the hand of been in my home group back in holism packs its suitcase and AA not been there when I desper- Seattle. She showed me around comes right along for the ride. ately needed it. Charlottesville AA, introduced me Lucky for me though is another to a lot of great AA folks, and I And it‘s not just meetings, but the quickly got involved with the local fact, and one for which I am truly entire AA community. I was in grateful; I can just as easily take AA community. I now have a home Tulsa, Oklahoma years ago for a group, with which I‘m involved. my recovery along with me by media advertising convention and plugging into meetings, because and a great bunch of recovering as these things often go, it was alcoholics with whom I get to jour- nearly wherever I go, one big alco- the hand of AA is ney down this ―road of happy desti- “One alcoholic talking hol fueled ny.‖ What an absolute gift! there. drunk fest. I From Birmingham, to another is powerful really wanted I feel truly blessed and try to re- Alabama, where I got a drink and member to reach my hand out not sober, to Auckland, medicine.” called the only to the newcomer, but also to New Zealand, I‘ve had local Inter- those visiting from out-of-town. I the good fortune over the years of group office. Since I was unable never know—that message of re- attending meetings all over the to get to a meeting, a gentleman covery may help keep them away US and in a few other countries. who was volunteering on the from that first drink. In most cases there was no crisis phones came to my hotel and we Constant companion for the journey or emergency, I was simply at- had coffee. One alcoholic talking tending meetings because that‘s to another is powerful medicine what I do as a recovering alcohol- and this man taking time to share Submitted by Alan F. Progress not perfection…BUT, I hate to Wait “Perfection is attained by slow degrees: it requires the hand of time.” Voltaire I read the above quote in an old today, but continued progress is the ly prayer or a phone call, but they 2011 calendar I was getting lifelong goal day by day. are there if I look. ready to throw out. I threw out Every trip through the Big Book Practicing the principles in all my the calendar but kept two pages and every time I put pen to paper to affairs allows me to live in a con- with quotes I liked. (The other review my progress, I constantly tinuous state of three steps forward was a Thoreau quote.) see my imperfections and on occa- and only one or two steps back… One of the best and often infuri- sion it frustrates me. Since I was it used to be three steps forward ating lines in the Big Book is taught that it is a bad day when all and four steps back and I slowly ―spiritual progress rather than inventory is done in red ink (12 & broke even and finally I see pro- spiritual perfection‖. This quota- 12, p. 93) I have been in the habit gress. tion lets us off the hook for nor- of noting the things I may have If I do the complete fellowship of mal imperfection, but for obses- done properly or adequately in the AA along with the program out- sive compulsive types—looking past day or so. These little flares of lined in the Big Book, I can recover in the mirror as I type—it re- the positive keep me on the right and maintain continued progress minds us that we may never be track in my life and in my head. and a reach toward perfection. perfect and most certainly not Sometimes the good points are on- Submitted by Marty R. J EFFERSON D ISTRICT P AGE 6 J EFFERSON D ISTRICT

GSR Experience at Spring Assembly

Recently 22 of us seventh tradition basket is passed walk and chat. Another highlight was from the Jefferson rather than the usual $1 as $1 does when a GSR, there for his first assem- GSR District attended not go as far as it once did. Another bly, shared his personal story: he and the Spring Assem- suggestion is to send a contribution his wife had been in recovery nearly bly, in Old Town to GSO on each anniversary for the 20 years when their son also came to Alexandria, a most beautiful set- member's number of years sober. AA. He expressed deep gratitude for ting. It's always nice to be at the This would do quite a lot to help the the program and that it has saved all assemblies with other recovering financial future of AA. their lives and said, ―my service hope friends, and it's an exciting time. is that the organization of AA will

As the General Service Representa- always be there for our children and tive for Ever Green, my home I attended a workshop presented by grandchildren who may have the dis- group, I have the privilege of vot- Cooperation with Intergroup. It‘s ease--as it was for our son--and I will ing our group conscience and re- always interesting to hear how others work for that.‖ It was inspirational to porting back to the home group. handle intergroup and district respon- hear this and I was touched. sibilities. I asked a number of ques- tions and it was a great help. I also The big issues were the discussion attended a workshop on Anonymity I've been sober for a long time and of a change in the 11th tradition to in the Digital Age which was very have made many cups of coffee and set include something about internet informative and also look forward to up many meetings. It has been only in and/or social media. More will be the local one being presented by Dis- the last five years that I've become heard about this for sure. Also trict and Living Sober on May 12. involved in the service structure as an GSO sent word that AA is in trou- Intergroup Rep and as a General Ser-

ble financially and the picture for vice Representative. Both have been the future is not so good financial- One of the highlights of the weekend enlightening to me and have done a lot ly. One thing that is suggested is for me was when another GSR (and for me. It was great fun to be with that groups announce that GSO has friend) and I walked to the water other GSRs at the assembly. asked us to contribute $2 when the about two blocks away for a long With gratitude, Frank Upcoming Events Sunday, June 10 - Founder’s Day Picnic 77 AA Our Fellowship celebrates 77 years The annual Founder’s Day Jefferson District 9 Officers Picnic will take place this year Jefferson Intergroup Officers DCM - Sue S. on Sunday, June 10 from Intergroup Chair - Christian H. Alt. DCM -WT Noon – 5:00pm at the Alt. Intergroup Chair – Clay S. Treasurer - Sean S. Three Chopt Community Center, Treasurer – Marty R. Secretary - Rebecca M. Secretary – Caitlin M. 2366 Oliver Creek Rd, Troy, VA 22974

Mark your calendar now for the Founder’s Day District Committee Chairs Picnic, put on by the Jefferson District and In- tergroup Offices. Celebrating 77 years of AA! Archives Chair - Robert H. Intergroup Committee Chairs CPC/PI - Bill W. / Heather B. Activities – Marty R. Cooperation August 17th thru the 19th, 2012 Central Office Chair – Frank Z. with Intergroup Liaison - Jon G. “Unity is Our Strength” 62nd Virginia Area Convention Literature and Chips– Jim R. Corrections Chair - Bob L. hosted by the Dulles and Loudoun Districts Meeting List – Sheri G. Finance & Budget – John B. Hyatt Regency Reston 1800 Presidents Street, Reston VA, 20190 Newsletter – Mike G. Grapevine & Viña – Phil M. (703)-709-1234 Co-Editor Michele R. Hospitals, Institutions Special For More Information See The Flyer On-Line at: Website – Wende H. Needs – Gary M. jeffersonfob.wordpress.com/special-events C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER P AGE 7 C HARLOTTESVILLE, VA AREA V OLUME 1 I SSUE 2 Spoiled Rotten! Ali talked back and argued until every single day; if it wasn't hit my bot- she won. She stayed out late and a result of drinking, it was tom over- never considered those who due to character defects. Not night, and I might be worried. She lied inces- only could I not control it, I nur- won't reach perfection ever. But, santly and stole when she could. tured it and stepped out of its one day at a time, gently, I make She didn't go to school if she progress when I work for it even didn't feel like it and invented half as much as I worked during disaster stories to make people “Like a spoiled, my drinking career. feel bad for her to avoid getting rotten child,” While I work on facing, admit- in trouble. She took dangerous ting, and eradicating my character chances with her own and others' defects simultaneously building a lives. She didn't listen to reason way, justifying all the places it relationship with a Higher Power and no one could control her. took me and being willing to go I practice patience. How does one She did whatever she wanted, back for more the next day. For eat an elephant? One bite at a whenever she wanted, and years and years. time. Slowly, but surely, my life dragged me along with her. Now, with the support of my AA improves. Like a spoiled, rotten child, alco- family, I patiently re-train my- Submitted by Michele R. holism got its way in my life self, one day at a time. I didn't Describe Your Higher Power My Higher Power gives me even though I fail Him me the gift of sobriety. Without HP gives me life and every day. My Higher Power Him, I have no spirit. I‘m simply a breath every day. My knows my needs, and supplies combination of atoms and mole- Higher Power knows me inti- them daily. Though I don‘t de- cules. With Him, I‘m complete, mately, better than I know my- serve love because of my errant whole, sane, and sober. self. My Higher Power created ways, most especially drinking, My Higher Power is my best all that is in the Universe, in- He loves me. Every day He calls friend, with the greatest power the cluding stars, galaxies, nebulae, me to be in relationship with world has ever known, and wants and planets. He put all Creation Him. Many days I simply go my me to enjoy this life by walking in motion. merry way. He lovingly calls me step-by-step according to His back. I am truly important to my High- ways, not my own. er Power, enough that He for- I trust my Higher Power to give Submitted by F.K.

Jefferson District Service Committee Jefferson District Intergroup Virginia Area Committee P.O. Box 7552 P.O. Box 6911 Contributions: Treasurer VAC Charlottesville, VA 2206 Charlottesville, VA 22906 P.O. Box 477 Meeting: 7:00 P.M. (434) 293-6565 Fax (434) 293-6598 Front Royal, VA 22630 2nd Monday of each Month Meeting 7:00 P.M. Web: www.aavirginia.org Westminster Presbyterian Church 1st Thursday of each Month 190 Rugby Road Westminster Presbyterian Church AA General Service Office 190 Rugby Road P.O. Box 459 Central Office : 1710 Gordon Ave Central Office: 1710 Gordon Ave Grand Central Station Charlottesville, VA 22903 Charlottesville, VA 22903 New York, NY 10163 E-mail: [email protected] [email protected] (212) 870-3400 Web: jeffersonfob.wordpress.com Web: www.aa.org P AGE 8 J EFFERSON D ISTRICT

MEDITATION AND SPIRITUALITY

Meditation and for over a year. How was I going to was on the rocks. Drinking had be- Spirituality, reach my ambitious career goals? come an instant elixir I used to es- the essence of the 11th Step, have Over the next 15 years, I rose to the cape from the realities of life. After rescued me from abject despair and rank of commander. For what partying heartily, not paying any at- enabled me to find a new, magnifi- proved to be my final seagoing tour, tention to how much booze I drank, I cent meaning to my life. I served as Executive Officer of a returned home Sunday evening emo- In 1958, as I was helping to paint guided missile cruiser; I was in sev- tionally miserable. Monday morning our house, I was delightfully sur- enth heaven. Hoping that my next found me with a hell of a hangover prised when the Western Union tour of duty was to command a and another miserable day at work. delivery man brought a telegram guided missile destroyer, but the On Tuesday morning, somewhere telling of my acceptance to a ser- Navy had other ideas. between being asleep and awake, I vice academy. What a thrill–and In the summer of 1979 I reported to had what I‘ve come to realize as a what a challenge. I vividly recall a Pentagon job in the Office of the spiritual experience. God said to me, my Dad saying to me before we left Chief of Naval Operations. Rather ―If you want to get your life together, for my new environment, quickly however, I realized that I you have to stop drinking.‖ ―Remember son: get a good educa- was ill-equipped and ill-educated for After two days of pondering this tion, you‘re responsible for every- the specific task: in six months I was message, I called a friend and ex- thing you do and be a man.‖ With to create and deliver an in-depth plained to him the shape I was in and that, the umbilical cord was severed briefing to numerous senior admirals my recent spiritual experience. He and a rather shy 17-year-old faced and the Secretary of the Navy about said, ―Come with me.‖ He introduced the world. the Navy‘s communications pro- me to AA. Yet, even after several Throughout my four years at the grams. I had little previous training years of physical sobriety I still was Naval Academy, competition to be in this specialty and fear struck. I edgy most of the time, trying to be ―the best‖ was tough. I‘ve always quickly learned however that two or what I was not to gain something that had the desire to work as hard as I three drinks brought relief. By Sep- didn‘t exist. I felt guilty for some of can, doing whatever I was doing at tember, I had become severely de- the things I had done and things I had the time. Unfortunately, three pressed and for the next 16 months failed to do. I also felt remorseful for months after graduation after fall- my life was one of darkness and not achieving my lofty goals. Often I ing asleep at the wheel, I had a seri- anxiety. I got to the point where I went from miserable despair to un- ous automobile accident. I tore was unable to even write my own bridled restlessness in a heartbeat. through the car‘s convertible top name. I was startled awake at three Little did I realize then that we‘re and landed on my head 20 feet in the morning, terrorized by night- only as sick as our secrets. Fear con- away. 16 days later I awoke in a mares of me, a shipwrecked sailor, sumed me and I couldn‘t possibly tell naval hospital wondering, ―What lying on a beach being washed over anyone all of my difficulties, chal- am I doing here?‖ by waves of blood. I certainly was lenges and confrontations. What Although six months of recupera- shipwrecked. would they think of me? tive limited duty was suggested by In February 1980, a ship command After five or six years in AA, I went the doctors, I said absolutely ―No.‖ that I had longed for was offered to on a retreat and lamented my poor- America‘s ships were leaving the me. Fortunately HP intervened and little-old-me plight. A wise friend harbor to enforce the Cuban quar- gave me the presence of mind to said, ―You have to learn to forgive antine–what the hell am I doing decline becoming a ship‘s captain. yourself for the things you‘ve done lying in a hospital bed? I remem- In May I was moved to a less stress- and the things you haven‘t done. bered JFK‘s famous words, ―Ask ful job, but by then my career was in God did a long time ago.‖ not what your country can do for shambles. Although I didn‘t realize it, I had cast you, but what you can do for your In the fall of 1980, in my 16th country.‖ God aside in my life, believing I was month of clinical depression, I at- unworthy. I had become spiritually After a month‘s recuperative leave, tended Homecoming. I saw all my sick and I was the center of my uni- I returned to the ship but did very classmates with their stripes, stars verse, which imploded in 1980. poorly. I could hardly see straight and medals, while I knew my career Continued on page 9 C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER P AGE 9

I came to understand that the devel- thought, I bring my attention back faith by which they truly begin opment and maintenance of a spir- to the words of the prayer. It takes to ―see‖ God as he is. As the itual condition was necessary if I patient practice, but eventually se- Hassidic scholar Martin Buber was to enjoy any sort of emotional renity flows smoothly without inter- said, ―There is no room for God sobriety in life. How was I to devel- ruption. You can use any prayer in he who is full of himself.‖ op this spiritual condition? What an you‘re comfortable with. The final line of that beautiful inordinate task! Above all, I suggest that in medita- prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi By listening at many AA meetings tion you expect nothing. Expecta- sums up what I must do . . . ―It and speaking with my super spon- tions often lead to disappointments. is in dying to self that we are sor, I learned to seek, through pray- While meditating I picture myself born to eternal life.‖ er and meditation, to improve my sitting in God‘s waiting room. Many I‘m an admirer of the brilliant conscious contact with God, pray- times He‘s busy with lots of other Trappist monk Thomas Merton, ing only for knowledge of His will folks but occasionally He has time author of The Seven Story for me and the power to carry that for me. Mountain. I identify with much out. Meditation has led me to a greater of what he wrote. He said that Initially, I learned how to meditate sense of spirituality within myself. the biggest spiritual problem of by reading a book by a now- What is spirituality? Ronald Rol- our time is efficiency, work and deceased Hindu professor, Eknath heiser, a renowned priest and prize- pragmatism; by the time we Easwaran, who came to this coun- winning author of the book The Ho- keep the (life) plant running try in the late ‗50s as a Fulbright ly Longing–The Search for a Chris- there is little time and energy for scholar. He taught the first accredit- tian Spirituality, explains that spirit- anything else. I urge you to take ed college course in meditation at uality is what you do with who you a bit of time each day to re- UCLA-Berkeley in the ‗60s. He are. balance your life with prayer and meditation. explains in Meditation, meditating I ask myself, ―How am I interacting helps one to train the mind to focus with myself and my fellow human Let me finish with a prayer on an ideal, a value, until that value beings on a daily basis?‖ Perhaps from Father Merton’s book becomes a passion, a part of us. the most challenging part of this Thoughts in Solitude: How does one meditate? There are definition is ―Who am I?‖ What do I I have no idea where I am go- no ―proper‖ or ―right‖ ways to stand for? Am I sufficiently humble ing. I do not see the road ahead meditate. Countless methods exist in all that I do on a daily basis to of me. I have no idea where it and what works for one person may simply seek and do God‘s will? will end. Nor do I really know very well not work for the other. Spirituality is about learning to live myself and the fact that I think This is what works for me: with , that incurable de- that I am following Your will Early in the morning before I‘ve sire, that dis-ease, and the madness, does not necessarily mean that I gotten my mind engaged in count- that comes from within. am doing so. less tasks, I sit in a quiet place with Gail Sheehy wrote, ―No sooner do But I believe this. I believe that closed eyes. I begin by slowly say- we think we have assembled a com- the desire to please You does in ing a mantra, a name or phrase with fortable life then we find a piece of fact please You. I hope I have spiritual meaning and power. One ourselves that has no place to fit in.‖ that desire in everything that I might say, ―God have mercy‖ or Sound familiar? Meditation is a dis- do. I hope I never stray from ―Thy will be done‖ or something cipline for slowing down the furious that desire. I know that if I do similar. pace of thinking, the insanity we this You will lead me by the Once I‘ve achieved some peaceful- alcoholics have. right road though I may know ness, I slowly repeat the Prayer of Particularly in the troubling times nothing about it at the time. St. Francis that begins, ―God make that the new millennium has Therefore I will trust in You me an instrument of thy peace…‖ brought, it‘s paramount for me to always, for though I may be lost If I say it more than six times over have faith in a Higher Power, one and in the shadow of the valley the next 30 minutes I‘ve said it too who I call God. Those who do not of death I know that You will rapidly. One must have patience see and yet believe are called never leave me to face my prob- with oneself. Whenever my mind blessed. Not only do they have lems alone. wants to slip off on another line of greater faith, but it is precisely this Submitted by Tom G. P AGE 10 J EFFERSON D ISTRICT

OH! NOW I GET IT!

We were sitting in a workshop at program he this divine gift and miracle, this radi- our Area Assembly on a Sunday entered saved cally democratic and loving program morning. It was my first experi- my child’s life, just as A.A. had saved of A.A. I am responsible to do what I ence at an Assembly, and I was my life and the life of my wife...saved can to ensure that A.A. is there for wondering, “Why are we here?” I the lives of all of us in A.A. But, as I my grandchildren and great grand- was ill, in pain, exhausted, and sat and grumbled in that workshop, I children and generations to come feeling sorry for myself. The was far away from any gratitude. who may be destined for alcoholism. workshop was entitled, “The Con- I want them to be able to crawl into cepts: Why We Have Them and The workshop leader, Susan C, a for- the arms of A.A. Why They Work.” I was at that mer Delegate, was reading from a workshop only because of my speech given in 1954 at the opening Susan C. went on reading the elo- DCM’s suggestion. I had tried to of General Service Conference and quent words from that speech: read the Concepts, but they were printed in The A.A. Service Manual We need it because we, a distant third to the Steps and Combined With Twelve Concepts for more than all others, are conscious Traditions in the competition for World Service. of the devastating effect of the this alcoholic’s heart and atten- human urge for power and pres- tion. I sipped my coffee and We may not need a Gen- tige, which we must ensure can mentally grumbled. But, it was a eral Service Conference (and by never invade A.A. We need it to miracle I was there at all. Twenty- extension the General Service Office ensure A.A. against government, four years earlier, at age 44, I had and the Twelve Concepts*) to en- while insulating it against anarchy; come into the rooms desperate sure our own recovery. We do we need it to protect A.A. against and defeated. A.A. welcomed me need it to ensure the recovery of disintegration while preventing and hooked me, and I was on the the alcoholic who still stumbles in over-integration. We need it so path to a sober life. the darkness one short block from that Alcoholics Anonymous, and this room. We need it to ensure Alcoholics Anonymous alone, is I found A.A. while living in a small, the recovery of a child being born the ultimate repository of its rural town. I made coffee, was tonight, destined for alcoholism. Twelve Steps, its Twelve Traditions the home group treasurer and We need it to provide, in keeping and all of its services. tried to be of service on a local with our Twelfth Step, a perma- level. But, I had no idea that we nent haven for all alcoholics who, We need it to ensure that lived in a “District” within an in the ages ahead, can find in A.A. changes within A.A. come only as “Area” of an overall A.A. structure. that rebirth that has brought us a response to the needs and the Our Seventh Tradition money back to life. wants of all A.A., and not of any went only for rent, coffee and few. We need it to ensure that the literature. We didn’t hear about Those words, read aloud, were like a doors of the halls of A.A. never GSRs and DCMs until my wife, hand reaching in and yanking me have locks on them, so that all also in recovery, and I moved to out of my self pity. (I have no doubt people for all time who have an Virginia many years later. Whose hand that was!) Tears of alcoholic problem may enter these gratitude welled up, I thought of my halls unmasked and feel welcome. In the meantime, our youngest wife and son, knowing that our son We need it to ensure that Alcohol- child, reared in a sober home, had had been that “child being born to- ics Anonymous never asks of any- gone off to college and pro- night, destined for alcoholism”. I felt one who needs us what his or her gressed rapidly into the disease it in my heart, “Oh, now I get it!” I race is, what his or her creed is, he had inherited from us. He must do everything I can to what his or her social position came home after his first semes- strengthen and maintain the Twelve is.” (Page S20, Service Manual) ter defeated by the disease, tried Steps, Twelve Traditions and the Amen! to get sober in local meetings, Twelve Concepts. I am responsible Unity, Service, Recovery. but relapsed and asked to go into to do what I can to support the David T, GSR, Living Sober Group rehab. The recovery community Grapevine and the GSO financially. I Charlottesville, VA of A.A. and the twelve step rehab am responsible to be of service to *author’s addition C ROSST ALK AA N EWSLETTER P AGE 11

Mining For Gold You are no doubt fa- your stool strong and steady? If not, ing opportunities. A number of ser- miliar with the tradi- your stool is lopsided, and the weight vice activities come up through at- tional symbol of our of your problems could break the other tendance at District and Intergroup sobriety: the circle and triangle. legs, if they weaken. Service can take meetings, such as helping to plan Although it is not an official, cop- many forms, and each member who and host events like workshops, yrighted symbol of AA, we use it wishes to enhance and strengthen their picnics, dances, and the Christmas often on the recovery medallions sobriety should find some service op- and New Year’s Alkathons. we give out at some meetings, in portunity to perform, however simple. In general, service is simply giving jewelry designs we wear, and on These can include performing simple back and helping to keep the activi- flyers about events we are hosting housekeeping tasks for your home ties of the fellowship going strong, that deal with recovery. group, like emptying the trash, setting so that the new member can find us, The symbol represents our fellow- up chairs, or making coffee, to chairing check us out, and join us so they, ship as a whole, the circle encom- meetings after you have a few months’ too, can find recovery and a new passing the three legacies of Re- experience attending them, always in way of life. This thing doesn't just covery, Unity, and Service, the The Three Sides of Sobriety accordance run on its own steam, and we can- sides of the triangle. Does it re- with your group’s guidelines for chair- not pay anyone to run it for us – we flect your sobriety as well? Or are ing meetings. have to do it ourselves. By becom- you still unbalanced-incomplete? Once an individual has a bit of sobriety ing one of those members who helps In some of the writings of early and active membership under his/her keep it going, we enhance our own AA members, we learn about the belt, more responsible service opportu- sobriety in far greater measure than three-legged stool, and how it is nities may become available, such as the energy we exert. We become full unbalanced when one or two of group secretary or treasurer. It is said and active members, rather than the legs are missing; my sponsor that gratitude is an action, not just a just visitors. We become more com- reminds me of this often. We need feeling, and it is manifested in the ser- fortable in our own skin, and re- all three legs to have a firm place vice we give to the fellowship that main in the middle of the fellowship to sit. If you are reading this arti- saved our lives. Speaking at local rather than the edges–a much safer cle, you most likely have at least schools, or manning an information and happier place to be. one of the legs in place: recovery. table at a health fair and donating Big We all have experience to share, You probably have given up the Books to the local library are a few of strength to be gained and hope to alcohol, at least for today. You the ways we can volunteer for service be confirmed. Our Legacy of Service may even have a sponsor with through our Public Information Commit- is the vital linchpin that keeps the whom you are working the steps, tee. Taking meetings into local jails and rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and you most likely have a copy prisons, or helping to collect old copies open not just for newcomers, but for of the Big Book which you read of the Grapevine are ways we can serve all of us who want to stay sober now and again. The second leg, through the Corrections Committee. today. I am truly blessed to be an Unity, may also be part of your Volunteering to respond to phone calls active member of AA. I am grateful little stool. You probably attend through the AA Helpline is another that you were here before me and meetings, at least one or two a opportunity to reach out to the newcom- showed me that I am a worthwhile week–maybe more. You may have er, and providing rides to those who human being who has a lot to give. selected, and actively participate cannot drive helps us as well as the Through giving, I continue to grow in a home group. You probably person we drive to meetings. toward my Higher Power’s vision have a few AA friends you com- Becoming the home group’s Group Ser- for me. I am eternally grateful that municate with regularly, whether vice Representative (GSR) or Intergroup my higher power has given me the to go to meetings together or to Representative (IGR) provides us an precious gift of sobriety and I am talk on the phone from time to opportunity to serve in a special way- also grateful that I continue to be time. You are not doing this alone and teaches us some useful principles in responsible for this precious gift. – you have some measure of unity group cooperation and teamwork in the Thank you. to go along with your recovery. process. It also affords us the wider In Loving Service, Sue S. But what about that third leg of view of AA in our district and region, the stool: Service? Are you doing and exposes us to other opinions and what you can to keep that leg of attitudes that give us even more learn- Charlottesville Have Any Good Meeting Updates Ideas or Articles Al-Anon Ever Green Group added a new open Gratitude meeting, Thursday for the “CrossTalk” Family Group 7PM Word of Faith Church NewsLetter? Lamb’s Rd near Albemarle HS Helpline 2080 County Rd 657 Email Them to: Charlottesville [email protected]

434-972-7011 N.U.T.T.S meeting 10:30AM Thursday is suspended May 1, 2012 through August 31, 2012 Anonymous Sponsor

Peace and Recovery Group, meet- ings Monday & Wednesday at In AA‘s beloved Big Book‘s foreword to noon, & Friday at 1:00PM has a the third edition, it states, ―Each day, some- new temporary location, Maple where in the world, recovery begins when Grove Christian Church one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, 3210 Profit Road sharing experience, strength, and hope.‖ Begins May 7, 2012 Anonymous Sponsor New Meeting, 11PM Friday

Night Owls Suggests Park St. Christian Church For recovery to begin early each day, 1200 Park Street Anonymous Sponsor Suggests calling an- Mayflower Hotel Phone other Alcoholic and talking in the morn- Monday Fellowship of the Spirit ing. Please, don‘t wait for an 8PM meet- has a new location ing for recovery to begin. Use the phone! Intergroup Charlottesville Vineyard Church 2799 Stony Point Rd. Needs Support! View On-Line Meeting List at: Sobriety Answer Phones at Jeffersonfob.wordpress.com Central Office!

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selves deeply.‖ selves ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Aacharlottesville our- examined have ―We However, Tradition 7 states “We Are Self Supporting” @gmail.com *Please remember the cost of your last drink when the basket comes around* What you get in return is a life! Coupon Valid Since : 06/10/1935, Keep Coming Back! to set up a shift Alcoholics Anonymous® is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, A.A On The WWW! strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help Visit Jefferson Dis- others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to trict’s On-Line Web- stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting site for meeting lists through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, and much more! organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. jeffersonfob.wordpress.com

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