UNLEASHED

Kingdom of character From quirky cafÉs and.. mangA porncubicles.. to beer served from.. backpacks, it’s easy to .. go gaga in , Japan.. WORDS: kelly irving

hat is your blood type?” asks Lady Gaga. It’s an odd question, especially coming from a pop star I’ve only just met. “Everybody knows their blood type in Japan. Like me – I am ‘A’, like the real Gaga: patient, intelligent and, um, conservative.” She strikes a pose à la Marilyn Monroe, gives me a wink and lights up her boobs like she’s a Christmas tree. Spiderman runs after her, followed by two vampires, a pumpkin, a panda, some little green men and another Gaga dressed in lace. I wasn’t sure what to expect on my arrival in Tokyo for a few days’ stay. But I’ve just discovered two things: 1) When someone asks what your blood group is, it’s like saying, ‘What star sign are you?’ and, 2) I’ve unintentionally landed during Halloween – which, here, has a distinct local spin – and it seems everyone in Roppongi, Tokyo’s nightlife nerve centre, has gone a little Gaga. In fact, since the pop diva urged fans to come back to the city post-earthquake and tsunami in 2011, she has become somewhat of a national hero – and an apt one. Out there yet enigmatic, gregarious yet shy, the Poker Face singer with the big personality sums up this mad metropolis to a tee.

46 July/August 2013 UNLEASHED The japanese go wild on the streets of Positive Cash Flow tokyo; why shouldn’t you? From Day One.

Since it’s inception after the Reserve Bank Reforms in March mad must-dos 2009 ATM ownership continues to hit all the right keys.

1. Eat soba and drink sake at Gonpachi in Nishi-Azabu Owning a fleet of ATMs, has become a well known Many clients have bought ATMs within their self managed business opportunity since Own Your Own ATM super or pension funds. It’s the restaurant that inspired the location of Uma Thurman’s fight with The Crazy 88 launched in March, 2009. Many of our clients have in Kill Bill: Volume 1. diversified their portfolio and are now enjoying 20% Instant income - you will be paid calculated from the very 2. People-watch p.a. returns that an ATM business provides for the life of first day you purchase your machines. at Jingu Bridge the agreement. Head to Harajuku on a Sunday, particularly Buy in cash or borrow with property equity and pay down around Yoyogi Park, to see ‘cosplay’ (costume It is possible to use your ATM income to subsidise your non tax deductible debt on your home faster. play) in full swing – from gothic Lolitas a large investment portfolio and not hit the to dancing Elvis rockabillies. serviceability wall, allowing you to make further ATMs are brilliant for saving, as returns compound when 3. Sleep in a comic book investments in the future. Unlike a term deposit, where monthly payments are deposited into a savings account. café or ‘manga kissa’ you are liable for tax at the first dollar of interest earned, Rent a cubicle by the hour – each comes with all ATMs being plant and equipment, can be depreciated to the manga porn you can handle. Find them BUSINESS HOURS ATMs TRANSACTION FORMULA close to train stations, especially in Akihabara, offset transaction income earned. and . You’ll pay around $4 World of weird 0 -783 transactions $235 per month per hour or $25 for the night. 784 + calculated at $0.30 per transaction After a heavy night out on the sake, I spend the next few These private ATMs are placed in a variety of days finding out what makes Tokyo tick. It’s a sprawling Site Name Serial Number Total Total Monthly 4. seek out strange convenient locations throughout . You own Transactions Amount Due vending machines city with quirks on every street corner, from the district of Akihabara’s gizmos, gadgets and cat cafés, where the Automated Teller Machines and experienced Luna Park KIC090600143 2,002 $600.60 They dispense everything from umbrellas to people pay for petting time because many Tokyo national ATM deployers place the machine in the site Sea Lake Foodworks KIC090600146 1,282 $384.00 eggs, canned ramen to hot chocolate and live apartments forbid tenants from having animals, to its and manage it. crabs to, um, schoolgirls’ used underwear shops dedicated to local girl pop group AKB48, with Caloundra Caltex KIC090600147 705 $235.00 (though peddling pants this way is now banned, 87 members – a Guinness World Record. Hazelbrook Bowling KIC090200014 471 $235.00 Perhaps strangest of all are Tokyo’s cutesy-poo you can still find them for about $20 each). ATM income is directly deposited into the account of Tumbarumba Bowling Club KIC090200004 472 $235.00 maid cafés – fantasylands for nerds. Women in 5. Get hammered with frilly frocks, knee socks and cat ears sing songs and your choice. Legal agreements state the deployer must Wardell Liquor KIC091200001 556 $235.00 the salarymen at make desserts as you sip sake. It’s not seedy. Guys cover all costs for parts and maintenance, insurance and Northhampton Supermarket KIC090300074 813 $243.90 an izakaya bring their girls. Businessmen go at lunchtime. And for payment processing for the life of the agreement. BP Childers KIC091200002 1,123 $336.90 the ladies? Butler cafés. Foreign men with slicked-back At 5pm, white-collar businessmen let loose on Grand Old Crow KIC090200028 490 $235.00 hair serving sambos and calling you “Princess”. their beer money until they are literally sick in ATM owners are paid a minimum 20% p.a* or $.30 per Sportsmens Hotel KIC090300065 842 $252.60 the streets. Join them at a cheap, old-school Hit ‘em up drinking den called izakaya in Ebisu, Shibuya, transaction, whichever is higher, paid monthly. The best way to get an insight into a city, however, usually on a Thursday (payday). Budget about Total Amount Due $2,993.00 is through its sport. In Japan, that’s baseball. At Jingu P H OTOGRAP COURTESY O F T eban S . $2.50 per draught beer. Stadium, I’ve been lucky enough to score tickets to In times of market volatility, a portfolio of ATMs can This portfolio of 10 business hour ATMs cost $140,000 plus gst. a local game that’s on par with a preliminary final. It’s provide a steady income stream and potentially solve 6. Pass out in a capsule between age-old rivals the Yomiuri Giants – the New or rent a room in a cosy York Yankees of Japan – and local underdogs the your cash flow issues love hotel Yakult Swallows. Depending on how 5) goes, you’ll either wind “Ussah, ussah … hi gora, hi gora!” The usually * Example: a business hour machine costing $14,000 ex gst, the annual return is $2,800 or $235 per month. Returns continue for the life of the agreement. up alone in a room that resembles a locker or reserved Japanese spill forth, like a collective you’ll get lucky and go to a love hotel. Look for volcano erupting. The chanting is loud, melodic. the heart symbols on buildings in Do-genzaka It is being conducted like an orchestra by a man Contact us to receive further information at (Shibuya) and Kabukicho. It’ll set you back $40 standing on an upturned milk crate, blowing minimum for a short stay, $100 for the nißght. a whistle through a megaphone. www.ownyourownatm.com.au

48 July/August 2013 PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF MaiDreamin Disclaimer: Information provided is not intended to be Tax, Financial or Accounting advice. We recommended to obtain independent advice from your own Tax, Financial or Accounting Professionals as individual tax or financial positions may vary. UNLEASHED

GET THERE The guy squeezed in next to me is Wayne, a veteran Qantas flies from Sydney of the sport and an American expat who’s spent most of to Narita, Tokyo, his life in Japan. He has barely missed a baseball game from $1,980 return. qantas.com.au in 42 years. “This is the best part,” he says as he opens up a pastel-coloured umbrella that joins a tide MORE INFO of translucent brollies swaying in the breeze. tcvb.or.jp “A fan got so worked up once, he started waving jnto.org.au his brolly,” says Wayne. “Now, we all do it – even when it’s not raining.” I never witness a mid-game spat, on or off the field, despite the fact that ‘beer girls’ come to my seat and serve full-strength alcohol from vacuum- cleaner-like kegs strapped to their backs. Yet

I’m told the Giants’ performance has been held P H OTOGRAP COURTESY O F Y asu f umi N is h i responsible for everything from the recession to the nation’s high suicide rate. Even the previous owner of the Swallows Hisami Matsuzono has publicly declared he’s a shameless Giants fan.

Sing it to me Soon afterwards, I’m sinking a beer with ‘OJ the villager’ – ’s answer to Bob Marley. He came to Tokyo to be with his Japanese wife. We’re downstairs in his bar: a seedy joint inappropriately named ‘Paradise Island’ that’s in the heart of Kabukicho, Tokyo’s red-light district. “I am a big star!” OJ announces, pointing to his chest 7. Party at a themed bar, like I might have mistaken him for someone else who isn’t café or restaurant in here. “Let me play something for you.” OJ starts the turntables rolling and then picks up the mic: From maid cafés to karaoke clubs, there are “I went to the airport, yo-o-o-oowah … and it was huge … plenty of peculiar places to party in Tokyo. Like I ran out of Africa thinking that Tokyo was the best…” The Lockup in Shibuya: think recorded screams, Tokyo, I’ve discovered, is full of personality – and handcuffs and $6 cocktails with head-scratching personalities. Here, it doesn’t matter who you’re names like Human Experiment. trying to be or what your blood type is. As the original Lady Gaga once said: “You have to be 8. Get naked with unique, and different, and shine in your own way.” strangers in an onsen Yep, this city certainly blows your boxed-in Join the locals in just your birthday suit at a hot Western mind. springs or onsen. The best ones are just outside the city: Ooedo Onsen Monogatari, for instance, “Ussah, ussah ... costs $10 for four hours of communal soaking. 9. Go to a baseball game hi gora, hi gora!” Sports hero Suishu Tobita once said: “Baseball is more than just a game. Through it one learns P H OTOGRAP COURTESY O F Sh imizu the beautiful and noble spirit of Japan.” The main stadium is Tokyo Dome but it’s easier to get tickets at Jingu Stadium. The season runs from April to October; unreserved seats start from $10. japanballtickets.com

10. Time your trip so you get to see a festival The weirdest of these celebrations is the Kanamara Matsuri or Penis Festival in April, where people carry large phallus-like shrines through the Tokyo streets. Why? To protect them from sexual diseases, of course.