As Cambridge gets darker, and the Siberian winds howl, you need something to cheer you up ¥ Page 7

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Special colour pull-out Cambridge’s most eligible bachelors and a chance to win a free ski trip with the annual Varsity survey and Skiworld The Cambridge student newspaper 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

John’sSHAMED students urinate on staircase and Corpus’ sexual harassment

Photo: Julian Blake Photo: Adam Joseph

John’s JCR President: Disgusted at public acts of excretion Corpus JCR President: Disgusted at sexual intimidation

exposing the culprits to the rest sexes” in the surrounding area. nature stemming from an was a “community issue.” JCR Adam Joseph of college. He also listed indi- Many of the night’s events Sophie Morphet entrenched sexism in the univer- President, Adrian Ellis said that Judith Whiteley vidual punishments appropriate have been linked to the infa- sity as has been exposed in a the situation is “serious enough to the misdemeanours of each mous Muff Divers. The Muff Corpus Christi is reeling after it recent university-wide report to warrant this action; and the Drunken John’s students were offender. Divers are a St John’s based has emerged that 15 to 20 which condemned Cambridge’s college community is fully individually named and shamed The notice ordered those who drinking society for second reported cases of sexual harass- “macho, white culture.” behind us.” in a notice posted in their were “incapable through drink”, years, most of whom are in the ment have taken place in the The Corpus Women’s Officer, The situation has led to a series porters’ lodge by the college to “clean vomit fouled lavato- rugby team. The Muff Divers past ten days. Ellen Weavers said that as some of meetings between the JCR Dean this week. After what one ries.” Other students who have been in trouble with the It became clear at a JCR meet- of the more serious incidents and college officials, including John’s student called “a crazy “allowed their party on 1st college authorities before, after ing on Sunday night that up to were “reported to have taken Senior Tutor Chris Kelly, in night” of revelry and excess, November to get out of many of them stripped off, 20 female undergraduates had place in and around the bar”, the order to work out an effective involving food fights in hall, hand...are each responsible for a exposing themselves, and put complained of sexual harassment JCR has decided to make it an strategy of response to the prob- vomiting, running amok week for cleaning the JCR lava- their boxers on their heads in or intimidation of both a verbal alcohol free zone for a week to lems. In addition to the bar clo- around the quads and urinating tories to the satisfaction of the the college bar. They were and physical nature to various “prevent any more incidents of sure, a set of letters from in a college building, the Dean, lady superintendent’s staff.” banned from the bar for several members of the JCR committee. verbal and physical intimida- Women’s Officer, and the Senior Dr Mackintosh, took the The party led to vomiting and months and had to display The majority of the cases are tion.” She hoped that this would Tutor were sent out early on unprecedented step of publicly urination by members “of both • continued on page 2 believed to be of a less serious also highlight the fact that this • continued on page 2

News Features 4 ¥ Fashion 12 ¥ Science 13 ¥ Visual Arts 18 ¥ Music 20 ¥ Theatre 22 ¥ Film 24 ¥ Sport 28 9 November 2001 2 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk GrUmpy Grads John’s cont… Also, in the light of recent national A motion was put to the GU council presented the GU’s case as a means of continued from front page… media coverage, others at the college Sophie Morphet asking college MCRs to disaffiliate attaining a higher level of political have questioned the wisdom of the from CUSU and affiliate directly to autonomy. “At the moment we are …an open apology letter in the bar. Dean’s decision to condemn students’ The debate over the integration of the the GU. Pav has lashed out at this dependent on CUSU; getting money The presence of groups like the Muff antics so publicly. The JCR president GU and CUSU has become yet more stance stating “this proposal is damag- directly from the grads would allow us Divers in the bar on regular occasions had an emergency meeting with Dean heated this week. An anonymous e- ing and divisive and would lead to to represent their interests better.” has resulted in what one second year about the “tabloid name and shame” mail sent to Varsity suggested that inefficiency.” He adds “this is entirely As for not letting CUSU come to the called “an intimidating atmosphere, in tactics used by the college. Members there has been a “breakdown of com- against the spirit of intergration that GU meeting on Wednesday, Raj made which many college members feel of the JCR also observed that “the munication” between the two bodies eighty per cent of students voted for.” it clear this was not a sign of tension, uncomfortable”. The students respon- connecting factor in all the publicised and that “CUSU-GU integration is However, Raj Joshi, President of the but that the GU wanted to get them- sible for the food fight were also part cases was female intoxication” suggest- pretty much dead in the water.” GU sees the motion in a different selves properly sorted out, of a drinking society. In this case the ing that college discipline was founded For the second time this term, the light, cutting out the mid- “but we will be inviting women’s only Sirens, also based in St on “antiquarian attitudes”. There was council meetings of the GU and dle man of CUSU. CUSU to the next John’s, were hosting the Magdalene also no consultation with the JCR CUSU took place on the same “We are not asking meeting.” He added Wyverns. President prior to the notice being put night, making it difficult for MCRs to disaf- “no one should Several John’s students have con- up, despite assurances from the previ- MCR presidents to participate filiate from doubt our commit- demned their fellow students’ behav- ous Dean that any novel disciplinary fully in both of the bodies which CUSU, but to ment to have a iour. One 2nd year Johnian told ideas would be subject to dialogue. are supposed to represent them. affiliate directly relationship with Varsity, “It’s disgusting. If they had “This was the action of a lone Dean. CUSU representatives offered to the Graduate CUSU.” However, done that at school they would have He did not consult the JCR or the to attend GU Council but were Union.” ultimately he has been expelled. As it is, they’ve merely Senior Tutor,” Liz Prochaska told told that this would be “inap- Andrew the graduates’ inter- been told to go and clean up after Varsity. Dr Mackintosh has now propriate.” Pav Akhtar, CUSU Peacock, the ests at heart, saying themselves. I can’t believe that at the assured the JCR that any such discipli- President, comments that General Secretary of he wants to “do age of 21 they’re still behaving like nary notices will be sent out by e-mail CUSU were “disappoint- GU and the what we do best, that.” Students have also expressed in the future. He declined to make any ed” with this “but President of better.” concern that it demonstrates arro- comment to Varsity. respect that this is the Pembroke gance and a lack of respect for college Rob Jenrick, Academic Affairs offi- decision of GU MCR staff, who are often left to deal with cer for John’s JCR told Varsity: “The Council.” the consequences of student drinking. debacle has completely unnecessarily Liz Prochaska, John’s JCR President, opened the college and its students up however, was keen to emphasise that it to the kind of negative and personal is only a “small section of the college media attack which St. Catharine’s has that could be accused of getting out of just suffered. That this has happened hand.” She also believed that the so soon after the trouble at Catz, when actions were “normal student life...and it is most likely to cause national inter- if you go into the town on a Friday est and intrusion into students lives night you will see lots of blokes pissing shows a serious misjudgement of the on walls, why should it make a differ- situation. It is symptomatic of the ence whether they are blokes or girls sometimes arcane system of discipline or whether it is a college wall.” in so many Cambridge colleges.” Corpus cont… Corpus student commented “the JCR continued from front page… has kept us quite well informed.” She added that she understood the actions …Tuesday morning. taken. “I can see why they’re doing it, Chris Kelly stated in his letter that it’s a good idea to show how seriously any form of sexual harassment was they’re taking it.” Although she said Mouse massacre “simply unacceptable” and that he she was surprised and shocked at the shared the “deep concern of the news. “Corpus feels like a very friend- Olly Duff reveals that mice would rather listen to cheese JCR/MCR that such behaviour ly college. There doesn’t seem to have should not be tolerated under any cir- been any tension.” Cambridge was once again in the nation- admitted that the tests should not be noise” that is important. The volume used cumstances”, adding that he was giv- It is hoped that the colleges’ response als this week for controversial reasons, directly related to humans. was 95 decibels – equivalent to listening ing the JCR/MCR his “full support”. will generate a feeling of community. after University scientists were criticised However, head researcher Dr Jenny to a personal stereo at a fairly loud level. The tone of his letter was reinforced As Ellen Weavers stresses, the JCR’s by animal rights protestors for conduct- Morton struck back in defence, insisting All the mice were killed at the end of the by his inclusion of Corpus’ long- action should change the college’s ing “utterly disgusting” experiments on that the study was part of a wider investi- experiment and their brains removed. standing statement on “Sexual atmosphere for the better “People will mice. gation into the long-term effects of The criticism further fuels the conflict Harassment and other Unacceptable be looking out for their friends and be The experiments involved injecting amphetamines, which remain largely between the University and animal rights Behaviour”. aware of any upsetting behaviour.” mice with methamphetamine – a strong unknown: supporters, recently worsened following This comes in the wake of the ongo- As of yet no formal complaints have form of speed taken in clubs – and then “If you have an environmental stimulus the Department of Trade and Industry’s ing animosity between the college been made. However, the Women’s exposing them to loud music either by that enhances the toxicity of a drug which and Lord Sainsbury’s backing for the authorities and students at Corpus. Officer, Ellen Weavers makes it clear dance band The Prodigy, or Bach’s Violin is taken recreationally, I think that makes University’s renewed application to build Adrian Ellis acknowledged this but that the women involved have been Concerto in A minor. Eleven mice died, the research justifiable.” a primate research centre. Lord Sainsbury was happy with the way the JCR and “made aware of all the support systems and many appeared to behave abnormal- A total of 238 mice were used in the stated that the centre was “nationally the college had been able to commu- available.” But added that the mem- ly – “jiggling backwards and forwards” to experiment, and having been given the important” in consolidating the UK’s nicate citing the Senior Tutor’s atti- bers of the JCR who had been the beat, suggesting that that they were drug or injected with salt water, were position as a “global leader” in neuro- tude including his decision to cancel approached were in no position to “being subjected to stress of unmanage- exposed to silence, white noise or loud science. two meetings on Monday to deal with break confidentiality and take the able proportions.” music. The sound BUAV stated though: “Cambridge the situation as being “to his credit.” matters further. “We cannot force The British Union for the Abolition of dramatically University’s application comes at a time “Trivialisation, ghettoisation, hyste- that.” Vivisection (BUAV) led the attack – cam- affected the when the UK should ria and vigilantism” are the four main Adrian Ellis points to the long fight paigns director Wendy Higgins branding drugged instead be aiming for areas, other than that the welfare of all ahead, stating “it is only the begin- the tests “absolutely despicable” and mice, the immediate those involved the JCR President is ning.” He adds that the college is in “abhorrent”. causing elimina- most concerned about. He feels that for the long haul in trying to make “Just because people choose to take them tion of each is a possible outcome of the JCR’s sure a spate of such incidents never drugs and go to raves doesn’t justify sub- to [these] measures, but is so far encouraged by happens again, “what follows is a com- jecting ani- experi- the response they have had, believing plex procedure of awareness raising at mals to ments on an emergency open meeting held on all levels, installing preventative meas- suffer- both scientific and ethical Tuesday night on to have been ures and supporting all involved – ing and death in grounds. “extremely encouraging.” those who have or are yet to come for- the laboratory in procedures that will “If Cambridge really The JCR’s response has been met ward as well as respecting the rights of tell us nothing we don’t already know: suffer more brain wants to encourage cut- with the full backing of the student those accused. The urgency is felt taking drugs and listening to excessively damage from the speed than normal. ting edge, modern and scientifically cred- body. At an open meeting on Monday across the student community in loud music isn’t good for you.” There were both Prodigy and Bach fatali- ible research, it should instead invest in night around 120 people were report- Corpus as well as in the fellowship and BUAV was also keen to highlight the ties, proving that the nature of the music the development of facilities to progress ed as attending. A second year female College staff.” fact that the Cambridge researchers had is irrelevant – instead it is the “pulsating non-animal research techniques.” 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS 3 CamPeace vs MP NUS Debt bombing, many expressing unease at the she guesses they have some connection union can no longer charge VAT on affil- Katy Long British involvement in Afghanistan, she with the nefarious CamPeace group…I Helen McKenna iation fees, losing the NUS another maintained that while “we wish there think that would be a pity.” £100,000 per annum. CamPeace, the Cambridge Campaign for were an alternative…there is not.” She In a subsequent statement on the 5 The National Union of Students is cur- In response to the financial problems Peace, has responded angrily to state- claimed that no one in the constituency November Anne Campbell claimed that rently experiencing a debt crisis which highlighted by the report, NUS have ments made by the Labour MP for who has raised concerns with her has sug- she was ‘delighted’ that her speech in the could lead to its bankruptcy. merged the two posts of National Cambridge, Anne Campbell, attacking gested that “alternative action would be House of Commons had already resulted The leaking of a confidential NUS doc- Director and Deputy National Director, the organisation. Speaking in the House effective in unseating the Taliban and in corrections to the content of the ument, entitled ‘The Report of Short and are currently conducting a review of of Commons on 1 November, Campbell destroying the terrorist network”, warn- CamPeace website. This is despite the Term Savings Committee and 3rd Year administration and print costs. However, asserted that CamPeace “has no credibili- ing “I hope people who support fact that, as Goreing points out, the only Budget Group,’ reveals that the union is despite reduced spending, Geraint ty with me, and I hope that it has none CamPeace understand what they are sup- alteration to the site other than the post- facing major financial problems. The fig- Hopkins promises that NUS services to with my constituents”, drawing attention porting.” When asked by Varsity what ing of a response to Anne Campbell’s crit- ures indicate that the NUS is running at students will not be affected. to CamPeace’s vigorous campaigns CamPeace believed Anne Campbell’s icisms was the changing of a phrase a loss of £300,000 and that if it continues CUSU held a referendum in March against the Kosovan crisis of 1999, and motivation for her attack was, Andrew describing Carla del Ponte as ‘Chief to spend in this way it may face debts of this year in which an overwhelming claiming that “CamPeace has never Goreing, a CamPeace member, replied: “I Persecutor of the International Criminal £1.52 million by 2004. majority voted to remain part of NUS. accepted that Milosevic could carry some don’t guess at other people’s motivation.” Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia’ to The report describes budget problems The practical help which NUS provides, guilt for the atrocities in Bosnia and but he did continue to add that “if Anne ‘Chief Prosecutor’. CamPeace claims that such as departments overspending by such as the organization of the National Kosovo.” Campbell’s concern was cen- Campbell is intending to close the door this mistake originated in a simple typing 300 per cent and large amounts of Demo on “Grants not Fees” and the tred around the website’s news archive, in on any particular constituents…because error, or at most a “Freudian slip”. money being wasted on travel expenses. advice and training for CUSU members, which she highlighted the presence of Another excessive outlay, provoking led CUSU President Pav Akhtar to con- such articles entitled ‘Was the Serbian widespread criticism, was the NUS annu- sider our continued affiliation as advanta- Massacre a Hoax?’ and ‘Film proves death al conference which was held earlier this geous: “While we’re not always complete- camp photos were lies’. This was evi- year, costing over £300,000. The docu- ly happy with the way that the NUS is dence, she suggested, that CamPeace did ment suggests that £60,000 could have run, we think that they generally provide not ‘even’ accept the justification of been saved by simply reducing the dura- us with a good value service and we’d be NATO intervention in “the genocide in tion of the conference. However, over- foolish to give it up.” Kosovo against both Muslims and spending is not the only cause. Geraint With nearly 750 constituent members, Christians”. CamPeace have emphatically Hopkins, the National Treasurer for the NUS continues to be the only way denied this allegation to Varsity, stating NUS attributed the current problems to for students and student unions to get that such a claim ‘is false, and we have the financial concerns being experienced their voice heard regarding national poli- documentary evidence to prove it.’ This by university student unions around the cy. Geraint Hopkins emphasized the evidence is to be found in leaflets distrib- country, from whom they rely on over 85 importance of the union for students: uted at the time, which read ‘we abhor per cent of their income in the form of “Ensuring the future of the National the atrocities committed by Milosevic, affiliation fees. He explained that “any Union, which has campaigned success- but bombing Yugoslavia is not the problem with that stream can cause us fully for a review of the Government’s answer.’ financial headaches.” disastrous student funding policies, and While Campbell talked of the five hun- A recent Inland Revenue ruling has also many other areas is essential for students dred odd e-mails and letters she has had a negative effect on NUS finances. A to be represented in the great national received from constituents since the Photo: Tom Catchesides change in VAT status means that the debates around education.” 9 November 2001 4 NEWS FEATURES www.varsity.cam.ac.uk MEDIA FRENZY Blair’s divided society Varsity’s front page last week high- Adrian Shankar on the choice between country and faith the war is forcing upon British Muslims lighted a question that all of Cambridge has asked at some point This is the, ‘just’, war, so we are told. party of the Left into the party of the minorities and asylum seekers are high over the past fortnight: why does the As each innocent Afghan perishes Centre. To keep the left wing of the on the social agenda. world care about Catz? Perhaps a bet- under the air raids of the Coalition, the party happy during this project is an The headlines this week have focused ter question would be why do news- memory of the Twin Towers tragedy incredible political feat. But trying to on British Muslims heading to paper editors care? Their usual begins to fade. We all felt the shock of get Muslim backing for this bombing Afghanistan to join the Taliban’s, response combines accusations of the event, we all immediately thought campaign might be stretching his abili- ‘jihad.’ Reports from Pakistan suggest intellectual elitism with world-weary of loved ones in the area, and the idea ties too far. Most communities bind that the border authorities are strug- claims that only sex sells papers. of the perpetrators being held to justice together in times of crisis, so why gling to prevent people escaping to Part of the problem is the short-ter- flashed through everyone’s mind. But should the Islamic community be any Afghanistan to fight for the cause. mist attitude caused by the commer- the war on terrorism took a wrong turn different? There is a message in this for Messrs cialistation of the media. It is all too somewhere, and now the moral high If anything, Muslims seem to have an Bush and Blair. The increasing oppres- easy for editors, especially under the ground is slowly slipping away from even stronger sense of community than sion of an already crippled nation is pressure of Rupert Murdoch or the Coalition. The decision makers most. After the summer riots in the only going to increase the resolve of the Conrad Black, to forget that, while have deemed that suitable retaliation north of England, and the violent racial strong community that they belong to, sensationalism and titillation may sell for the killing of many innocent people incidents that followed the terrorist and while it is hard to see what some more copies on the day, it is news and is…the killing of yet more innocent attacks of 11th September, it is not dif- British Muslims joining the jihad think analysis that give a paper its long-term people. ficult to see why British Muslims feel they would achieve, their reasons are reputation. Many editors scarcely In an attempt to add some moral under threat. What will increase this understandable. Omar Mahroo, credit their readers with literacy: no impetus, Tony Blair is desperately try- feeling of discrimination is the lack of President of the Cambridge University news, it seems, can be printed with- ing to gain the backing of British effort from the Government to resolve Islamic Society, speaks of how British out a picture. Similarly, complex Muslim leaders to justify this crusade. it is not hard to see why he is irate; this problem. The problems in the Muslims think of Muslims all over the issues are simplified or eliminated. Sheik abdu Majid al-khoei, Dr MA members of his community die each north have arisen because Asian and world as their, ‘brothers and sisters,’ You can see this even in the coverage Zaki Badawi and Sheik Fadel Sahlani day under bombing raids that the white communities are segregated due and the Muslim faith does not condone of Catz. Varsity’s comments on out- have all had their ears bent by the Prime Minister authorises. to social policy, and the rhetoric from the killing of innocents in any situa- of-touch tutors and the fallacy of Prime Minister in the last week, but Tony Blair is a consensus politician. Home Secretary David Blunkett in the tion. To tar them with the same brush blaming bad results on drinking were how much effect this will have on them The reason that he is the leading politi- aftermath of the riots has not been as those of the terrorists is wrong. It is replaced by mockery of students who and the Muslim communities of cian of his time rests in his ability to acted upon. One thing is for sure, the with hope that we look to Tony Blair to can’t hold their drink. Even important Britain is doubtful. Dr Ghayasuddin bring people together, to marry differ- BNP and the National Front will not rectify the situation, as lets be honest, issues can seemingly be discussed only Siddiqui, leader of the Muslim ing interests, and to persuade others let the significant electoral progress Bush will not, and remember that via personalities: interest in the rela- Parliament of Great Britain, described that he really believes in their view. that they made this summer go to action against terrorists should not blur tionship between America and Cuba Blair’s talks as, ‘ mere pleasantries,’ and That is how he has transformed the waste, especially at a time when ethnic into action against Islam. became focused on Elian Gonzalez. ‘Boring’ aspects of world affairs such as the World Trade Organisation, or the Rudman Report of Autumn 1999, which predicted a terrorist attack like that of 11th September, are glossed over. Politics becomes little This article is about sex more than a succession of scandals, with only a few half-hearted attempts drome has been extended to our rela- to relate them to wider issues. As New Tim Stanley tionships and we binge on each other York Times writer Frank Rich puts it the way we habitually do on alcohol. “ideology has nothing to do with It’s November and Christmas is nearly This is proof of a deep ridden frigidity which scandals get major media upon us; the trees are going up in that still permeates the British attitude attention. The only criterion that Sainsburys, the Santas are lining the towards sex. The Anglo Saxons have really matters is, is it entertaining streets doing their unconvincing Papa always been emotionally immature and enough?” Noel impressions (thin ones, fat ones, their is little difference between a per- And since so little attention is given some as big as your head) and little son who applies electrodes to himself to foreign news, the focus is almost children look up at shop windows with to take his mind off sex and someone exclusively on the crises of the day. glee and Yuletide spirit twinkling in who applies electrodes to himself to Apart from causing our view of the their innocent eyes. And it’s at this time increase his enjoyment of it. third world to be no more than a suc- of year that one’s thoughts inevitably I’m all for decadent self indulgence: cession of disasters, it also means we turn to hardcore sex. but not when it hurts other people. forget the effects of Western actions. I’m writing this on my way back from The kind of gratuitous, emotionless sex Military action in Iraq and Yugoslavia the bright (red) lights of London town that society encourages men and created acres of coverage. But when after a satisfying meal at the Carlton. It women to indulge in does not lead to the bombing stopped, the media lost was enjoyable on two counts. One that personal fulfilment and can leave one interest, and so there is little concern I’d come away with four spoons, three with something far worse than a hang over continuing actions. knives, six inscribed handkerchiefs, two over in the morning. For me and all the As for ‘elitism’, surely the aim of coffee cups and a small towel rack. But other prudes in Cambridge who find newspapers should be to encourage more satisfyingly I met an old friend, only find me attractive when drunk. sure that I do such things properly Thora Hird ‘a bit smutty’ the arrival of public debate. In the Eighteenth who I’d been told before hand suffered The correlation between sex and without harming myself is just plain the union’s Ikea catalogue of sex was Century, coffee houses were filled from premature ejaculation, and I drink is ever more acute at Cambridge. silly. In short: never in my wildest not a pleasurable experience. My hands with political discussion fuelled by made a point of arriving thirty minutes The media image that we all over dreams would I have thought of trying still sting from all the Detox I rubbed the news sheets. In the nineteenth before I was expected so that I could indulge in the finer things in life also to put that ... there before reading my in to them after opening what I century, radical papers such as the stroll in and say loudly, ‘I’m terribly extends to carnal pleasure. And this ‘Freedom’ booklet. Though that cream thought was a large ‘After Eight’ mint. True Sun and the Poor Man’s Guardian sorry, but I seem to have come early.’ image is sadly compounded by our that came in a sachet worked wonders For us Christians and ugly people it is employed writers like Charles However this could just be me playing union. When I received my Fresher’s on my athlete’s foot. going to be lonesome this Christmas. Dickens to explain and to argue. Why the green eyed monster. After all at Pack my eyes were opened to a whole The encouragement given to permis- Which is a pity because on the whole I should it be so much harder now to least my friend has found himself in a new world of sexual possibilities. I may siveness is part of a wider social prob- only get vague urges around Bank discuss real news? Perhaps editors, position where his sexual dysfunction be a naive provincial, but it can hardly lem that Britain still has with sex. Apart Holidays and Christmas. Call me a those at Varsity included, should place can be enjoyed by all. I long ago ruled be healthy to give step by step instruc- for the page that dealt with ‘individuals puritan, but when confronted with all a little trust in their readers, and write out any possibility of a one night stand, tions as to how to do things to other who chose not to have sex’ (Christians this licentiousness and sexual licence about the issues that matter: they can believing as I do in the old adage of people that could cause long term and ugly people) the booklet was I’d still rather curl up with a bar of fruit be popular without being populist. ‘never sleep with someone who is physical damage (wear gloves! use encouraging us to experiment with and nut and a good book. A dirty one Dan O’Huiginn drunk.’: the problem being that people glue!). The argument that it is making each other. The ‘Friday night’ syn- that is.

EVER THOUGHT ABOUT JOINING THE DARK BLUES… FIND OUT ABOUT OPPORTUNITIES IN THE NAVY BY ATTENDING OUR CAREERS EVENING AT THE CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY ROYAL NAVY UNIT, 2 CHAUCER ROAD (OFF TRUMPINGTON ST) ON TUES 13TH NOVEMBER 2001, 7:00PM. …WITH SPONSORSHIP WORTH UP TO £4,000 PER YEAR? 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS FEATURES 5 Get your chits out for the grads John Phillips, President of Magdalene MCR, explains his college’s position on CUSU and Graduate disaffiliation Those unimpressed by CUSU have long mon room and CUSU, whereby the latter Education Act. It is clear that the services the tendency of the CUSU Executive to the latter organisation does not, yet, pro- held the opinion that the organisation all undertakes to provide, for a fee, addition- CUSU lists in fact consume well over 70% view the Affiliation Fee as an integral part pose completely to subsume the former. too frequently shows an approach to al specified services. Affiliation should not of its budget, whereas affiliation fees con- of their budget. It seems that they do not This does, of course, assume that an democracy and student government simi- be confused with membership. In a recent stitute only 14% of its income. Legally, hypothecate the funds drawn from independent Graduate Union would lar to that encountered in countries where booklet sent to MCR Presidents, CUSU CUSU can only deny non-affiliated Affiliation and are not actually able to manage its funds so as to make itself effec- representative institutions are in their explain that disaffiliation entails the forfei- Colleges the services specifically funded by explain specifically what the money is tive, and in the past this has not been the infancy and power is wielded by the sort of ture of publications, including the various the Affiliation Fee, to go further than that spent on. This raises questions of account- case. Integration with CUSU was first cranky dictator usually referred to as the guides and handbooks, and services, constitutes unlawful discrimination. ability. One must ask why CUSU has conceived to address this problem. Under “father of his people”. CUSU’s response to been allowed for so long to go on collect- current proposals the GU would benefit Magdalene MCR’s decision to withhold ing a fee without clearly explaining the principally by receiving from CUSU two- payment of this year’s affiliation fee was consequences of non-payment. Whenever fifths of the affiliation fees paid to it by typical of this. Stewart Morris, CUSU the CUSU Executive do get round to this, graduate students through their MCRs. In Services Officer, went straight to the JCR and they ought not to be permitted by addition the GU President would become President to ask whether he could overrule CUSU Council to delay, each MCR and a CUSU sabbatical officer. The financial the elected graduate representatives. JCR ought rationally to decide whether advantages of this arrangement are obvi- CUSU’s reaction to news that the they receive value for money from CUSU ous, though not, it might be thought, to Graduate Union Strategic Review for their Affiliation Fee. undergraduates. However, it is also evident Committee has expressed reservations Many of CUSU’s publications may be that the Graduate Union might equally be regarding the proposed integration of the thought superfluous. The value of a man- funded to a similar level if MCRs were to two organisations followed the established ual explaining the basics of sexual activity affiliate to it rather than to CUSU. Were pattern. Rather than debate the issue, the is highly questionable for the mature this to occur, the GU could retain com- advocates of integration immediately adults, many of them married, who come plete control of its shop and facilities. resorted to the doctrine of the mandate, here to read for postgraduate degrees. It is clear that CUSU must be shaken arguing that last year’s GU referendum, In fact the graduate community is very out of its complacency with regard to both which empowered the Executive to enter different to the undergraduate population. Affiliation and Integration with the negotiations on the subject, bound the Its membership is to a much greater Graduate Union. Neither is a fait accompli, Union to accept whatever deal might be degree international, for instance, and far and viable alternatives exist to both. The on offer. CUSU’s opponents were at once more likely to encounter problems relating opportunity now exists for Student portrayed as a shadowy clique bent on Photo: Mike Phillips to funding and accommodation. It is not Representatives to debate these alterna- subverting the will of the student body. impossible that a representative body tives in a mature and sensible fashion. The reality is that it is the CUSU including student ID, access to the This prompts a question as to why dominated by undergraduates could deal CUSU must participate in this debate bureaucracy that stifles debate and relies Societies Fair and welfare support. If CUSU should make such threats. Could effectively with such issues, but it must be constructively. If it fails to do so many will on both obscurity and apathy to affect its CUSU chooses to act on this statement it the Executive be legally grievously misin- considered probable that a specialist and surely question why the CUSU Executive ends. So successful have these tactics been will place itself in a very dangerous posi- formed? With the spectacle of Creation in separate body would be superior. This is so keen to champion arrangements the hitherto that few have any understanding tion, for it will then almost certainly have view it seems quite possible. Could their logic underlies the very creation of the merits of which it flinches from explaining of the issues at stake. Affiliation is simply a breached both its own Constitution and exaggerated claims be simply scare tactics? present Graduate Union, and is to some to its members. contractual relationship between a com- the very well-known terms of the 1994 More likely the origin of the problem is extent acknowledged by CUSU insofar as • [email protected] A BALANCED EQUATION

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www.watsonwyatt.com/graduate 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk EDITORIAL 7

Uh-Oh, urine trouble So, another week and another Dean has used inappropriate meas- ures to curb excessive drinking. However, this week, it should be the John’s students who should be taking much of the blame for the sit- uation they are in. It is often said that Cambridge students ‘work hard and play hard’ and shouldn’t be stopped from drinking or hav- ing a fun night out. However, in recent weeks this has got out of hand. There is a large difference between having a bit of fun and damaging property. Getting drunk isn’t an excuse to cause havoc and not an excuse to be rude and childish. Yes, the Dean of John’s was wrong in publicly humiliating those involved, but what are the other options? However often people are told, they haven’t learned. Drink, get drunk, it’s part of being a student. We only have a few years to humiliate ourselves before entering the real world. But at the same time, we have to realise that there are people from the real world in Cambridge. The college and University staff and the local residents should be treated with respect. They have to live in Cambridge and walk the same streets as us.

Corpus Chris curbs crisis The reaction by the students and college authorities at Corpus Christi to the allegations of sexual assault has been refreshing. The Alex Lee is wrong University discriminates in some way college has refused to push the whole affair under the carpet, which I fail to see who Alex Lee has in mind against those who come from lower has to be to their credit. The JCR committee has been prepared to when he claims that Cambridge, “has income backgrounds. It does not, thank discuss the information with the press and their fellow Corpuscles. become but a lodging house for tran- you very much. Despite the plumminess Furthermore, if there is one positive aspect to come from the affair, sients.” His suggestion is almost too of my voice – for which I am always gen- ridiculous to repeat; that students no tly teased – I was actually from one of the it is that student communications with the college authorities have CUSU debate longer concern themselves with the issues lowest income brackets in the country. improved considerably. Hopefully the antagonism of last year is The article in last week’s TCS; 'CUSU of the day. As far as I can tell, Cambridge Having acquired an assisted place to an now in the past. The Senior Tutor, Chris Kelly, apparently cancelled weathers disaffiliation storm' had me con- is one of the most politically active univer- independent school, as I wanted to read all his meetings so he could discuss a suitable response with the JCR fused. Thoughtful comments flooded the sities in the UK. It is curious that he has Classics and my state school offered nei- committee. The college has also taken a very mature approach to article from those dissatisfied/disgusted written about the subject of apathy on two ther Greek nor Latin, I found no obstacle with CUSU's current leprosy; what went occasions now, and yet he makes he no in applying or maintaining my existence the media. The JCR decided not to try to keep the affair a secret. on with the pro-CUSU side, was that real- mention of the many groups that chal- here. It is perfectly true that more support They e-mailed both student papers early in the week and told us the ly the best that could be mustered? JCRs lenge the apathy he bemoans. In the last is given to us than to those whose parents full story. This was wise: as the respective Deans of both John’s and are apparently “quite arrogant”; I would couple of weeks alone we have seen are wealthy enough to have to front the Catz should know, nothing remains a secret in Cambridge for long! agree if it was them that thought their protests organised by groups such as tuition fees. My father, while he was alive, They did this despite the knowledge that sooner or later, the nation- stance on the war counted for anything. Amnesty International and Cambridge was on a pension and accordingly exempt. JCRs are “guilty of blaming CUSU to Students Against the War. Surely he does- Last June, I lost both my parents in a car al newspapers will pick up on the story. ‘No comment’ answers may cover their own faults”; apart from being n't believe that these people are, “free from crash and hve absolutely no means of sup- mean your answers cannot be twisted but they also reduce the pos- badly worded I would agree if it was the the worries of the globe”? port beyond my loan and as far as I have sibility of getting your own view across. After all the bad press they JCRs who were providing publications of Andrew Kaye noticed this lack of funding has not result- received over the last year Corpus has learnt how to deal with a cri- varying merit, and the various other non- Emmanuel ed in my being forced to leave. So please, sis; Varsity suggests that they give lessons to the other colleges. services we receive (or not, as the case stop whining about how stringent the seems to be).It is undoubtedly true that Silly boy University is, and listen to a pauper for a CUSU is suffering from “a PR problem”; I A simple explanation thought up by a very change, instead of a dewy-eyed sentimen- Stud-u-like think that the pro-CUSU spokesman simple mind. I am referring, of course, to talist. The only sense in which we are elit- proves this admirably! No doubt we'll be Navin Sivanandam's letter which states ist is the academic. As Cambridge gets darker and the Siberian winds start to howl, you seeing him in the near future as a Sab. that there are several thousand years worth Freddie New need something to cheer you up. So we are proud to bring you Niccy Jones of examples to support the claim that Queens Cambridge’s most eligible bachelors in our exciting new pullout. Selwyn “men may be more intelligent, more This is your chance to vote for the man you would most like to ambitious, harder working and better Letter of the week snuggle up with in your tiny college bed. We have looked long and Dainty ducks leaders than women”. Could this possibly With reference to Navin Sivanandam's let- I thought that Leonie Sloman’s piece spec- be due to the fact that in all but the past ter entitled Silly Women, 2nd November. hard for this selection of mighty men. Many may disagree with ulating on whether a fungus was responsi- 100 years (if that) women have had very He states several superior male traits. One Varsity’s selection but all the candidates have achieved something in ble for women in Salem being accused of little opportunity to demonstrate these he does not mention is the male tendency Cambridge, and have one thing in common: desperation. Now it’s witchcraft was an interesting and well qualities? It's almost tragi-comic that to take reckless risks, which he admirably up to you to go to our website (www.varsity.cam.ac.uk) and vote for researched article. However one line someone intelligent enough to come to demonstrated when he signed his letter. your favourite. Varsity suggests ‘The Muppets’, but maybe we’re slightly puzzled me. She wrote “Even ani- Cambridge should be so incredibly stupid. Sonia Falaschi-Ray mals misfortunate enough to have been Emma Chapman Wolfson biased! fed the poisened bread showed unusual Christ's behaviour: dogs ripped the bark from the [email protected] trees and ducks strutted peculiarly.” No barriers Varsity Publications Ltd Perhaps you can clarify a small point for I feel compelled to rouse myself briefly The winner of the Letter of Second Floor, 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge CB2 1QA me. How does a duck strut perculiarly? from my apathy and cite a few salient the Week wins two tickets to Varsity Online: www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Laura Durkact points to those of whatever political per- the Arts Picture House Advertising: 01223 353422 Editorial: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913 Newnham suasion who seem to believe that this

The Varsity Team If you would like to contribute to Varsity, turn up to a section meeting (times below) at the Varsity offices (unless otherwise indicated) or email a section editor Editors Julian Blake, Adam Joseph [email protected] News Editors Sophie Morphet, Judith Whiteley [email protected] Mon 4pm Business Manager Ed Hall [email protected] News Features Editor Michael Phillips [email protected] Fri 5pm Technical Director Tim Harris Interviews Editor Natasha Grayson [email protected] Company Secretary Diana Tapp Science Editors Becky Burton, Gabbie Bradfield [email protected] Mon 6pm Fashion Editors Emily Haworth-Booth, Katharine Hibbert [email protected] Production Manager James Southgate [email protected] Outlook Editors Rachael Marsh, Anita Moss [email protected] Mon 5.30pm Creative Director James O’Connor [email protected] Sport Editor Nick King [email protected] Thu 5pm Jesus Chief Sub-editors Amy Frost, Naomi Leon, Pranav Yajnik Photos Editor Sam Dobbin [email protected] Arts Editor Rob Sharp [email protected] News Photos Editor Kieran Drake Theatre Editor Alex Lee, Sarah Legrand [email protected] Fri 5pm Bar Ha Ha Sport Photos Editor Catherine Harrison Film Editors Will Bland, Kate McNaughton [email protected] Thu 5pm Sidney P’Ldg Online Editor Chris Waiting [email protected] Music Editors Louisa Thomson, Dave Thorley [email protected] Fri 4pm The Eagle Online Webmaster Richard Lee [email protected] Classical Music Editor Ben Ward [email protected] Wed 5.30pmThe Eagle Page Design Simon Dangoor, Jim Minter, Lizie Capon, Bella Mistry Literature Editor Sarah Savitt [email protected] Mon 3pm Clare G5 Sub-editors Louisa Taylor, Jonathon Styles, Frances Turner Visual Arts Editor Vanessa Hodgkinson [email protected] Mon 5pm Emma P’Ldg Undergraduates and postgraduates, from all disciplines, are welcome

CAMBRIDGE MILKROUND 19/20 NOVEMBER 2001

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Alternatively, we hold interviews at our office in North London all year round.

You can get further information from your Careers Service, or by contacting Denise Crisp at: Data Connection Ltd, 100 Church Street, Enfield, Middlesex, EN2 6BQ Tel : 020 8366 1177 email: [email protected] fashion ¥ 12 outlook ¥ S2

Picking up a bloke science ¥ 13

Picking up wind interview ¥ 10

Picking up the pieces Picking up laughs outlook interview 9 November 2001 10 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Armed and dangerous Alexander Armstrong, of ‘and Miller’ fame, tells Sam Baldock some secrets about comedy in Cambridge and beyond s I wait to speak to Alexander territorial, “are-you-important-enough- to compare the best of British with the Armstrong, one half of the to-be-in-here” drinking hole he remem- best of American. It’s impossible to com- AChannel 4 show and now national bers from a decade ago. pare The Simpsons with Gimmie Gimmie tour Armstrong and Miller, I quickly scan Competition at this time was great Gimmie.” He concedes that “The over the press release for their stage show though, with an emerging hotbed of Americans are very good at wit”, but he is and am handily (and somewhat arbitrari- comedy talent: the pair were friends with very pro-British comedy: “The thing is, ly) informed that Alexander is known to Mel and Sue (then Secretary and the Americans don’t have access to our his friends as Xander. President of Footlights), and there was Mr class system – we have this pressure cook- Shit. Social dilemma in the making. Sacha Baron-Cohen over at Christ’s. It er of petty class issues on a tiny little grey- Have they included this cheeky fact to was not until his graduating year (1992) weathered island we’re all cooped up in. allow us fresh-faced interviewers to get that a friend roped Armstrong in to write It’s part of the make-up of our national chummy from the offset? Or should I for the Footlights Spring Revue, and a character. If we’re going to compare we play it safe and go for the ultra-formal Mr comedy career was born. After a few years have to use our best, our Dad’s Army, Armstrong? In the end I plump for the of working the circuit, the pair landed Spaced and our Father Ted.” plain hi there approach, but soon realise I themselves their television debut with The Cambridge comedians are riding high at needn’t have worried about the formality Armstrong and Miller Show on the the moment – this year’s Perrier winning of my greeting, for it seems the pair have Paramount Comedy Channel, securing show, Garth Marenghi’s Netherhead, specifically asked to speak to Varsity as ex- three more series with Channel 4 after starred ex-Footlights President and Vice Cambridge boys, and ‘Xander’ is very that. President Richard Ayonade and Matt welcoming and keen to talk about his Their TV show has won the pair equal Holness, and the summer’s Footlight’s university days, and (unsurprisingly) measures of critical acclaim, a cult follow- Tour shocked everyone by actually being about their show, landing at the Corn ing and complaints from TV watchdogs funny, clasping a Perrier Newcomer Exchange later this Nomination along the month. Where has all the nudity in Cambridge way. For Armstrong and We quickly get the Miller to make it on TV what-and-where’s out theatre gone? Last year we had tits (and indeed film: Ben of the way: Armstrong Miller stars alongside (as a typical Cambridge and ass on a weekly basis. Steve Coogan in The comedian) studied Parole Officer) and then English at Trinity while Ben Miller chose over their frequent on-screen nudity return to Cambridge at the swanky Corn a more unconventional Natural Sciences and near-the-knuckle sketches. But Exchange with a live show is surely degree at Catz, even staying on to begin a Armstrong is quick to acknowledge the encouraging for all our wannabe comedi- PhD in Quantitative Physics before success of many of their TV contempo- ans. chucking it in to pursue their comedy raries, citing The Office and Channel 4’s It sounds as if Cambridge is one of the career. Beginning to reminisce about his Spaced (the stars of which, Simon Pegg dates in the gruelling 18-venues-in-21- Cambridge years, whether about the ill- and Jessica Stevenson, he lists as his comic days tour they are most looking forward fated Cambridge Green Bike Scheme heroes, along with the Cambridge staples to: the pair enjoyed success at last year’s whose cycles were promptly borrowed Monty Python) as some of the best exam- Trinity Mayball (as their spoof Norwegian and never returned by “some fucker from ples of modern television comedy. Eurorock group Striyka) and are keen to Liverpool in a van”, or about Mario, the Reassuringly though, he is ready also to return to this fair city. They promise a barman at the Maypole, I quickly notice bemoan the dire state of much modern rack of new characters and new material – his lack of hilarious thesp-related anec- output: Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie and and no doubt a lot of nudity, always a dotes about ground-breaking shows or new Johnny Vaughan vehicle ‘Orrible good reason to see a show. In fact, where kerrazy cast parties. Surprisingly, it seems, come under fire – although he admits to has all the nudity in Cambridge theatre Armstrong was not particularly involved have not seen the latter – he seems wor- gone? Last year we had tits and ass on a in comedy or theatre whilst at ried that “too much stuff these days is try- weekly basis. Come on the ADC – take a Cambridge. “The prospect of being ing to be Friends”. leaf out of Armstrong and Miller’s book, funny, of making people laugh”, he When I ask about the state of British make it along to their show, maybe to cop claims, was too intimidating. The newly- TV comedy compared to our US coun- an eyeful of genitalia but certainly for a renovated ADC bar may now be all nice terparts, Armstrong is well practiced in his lesson in making people laugh. I have ‘Armstrong and Miller Live in 2001’ is at the Corn Exchange chrome, wavy lines and sofas but it arguments (the pair spoke last year at the already booked my ticket, and look for- on 19th November sounds remarkably similar to the bitchy, Oxford Union): “The point is you need ward to seeing you there. i

John Wadham, director of human rights group Liberty, talks to Tosin Suleiman about Rights or wrong? terror, humanity and the British government hen revealing the govern- lenges ahead. He stresses that hasty Wadham believes that the laws we Government plans to suspend part of Fearing that it would become a vic- ment’s measures to combat legislation is no way to fight terrorism, have already are sufficient to protect the European Convention on Human tim of its own good intentions, the Wterrorism in the after- and says we should learn from the us. “There is already a criminal justice Rights in order to detain suspected for- government has now turned its atten- math of the September 11th rushed 1974 Prevention of system, the police already do have eign terrorists are also unwelcome news tion to issues supported by the major- attacks, David Blunkett, Terrorism Act. “I powers to detain people. We say some for Liberty. As Wadham explains, ity, such as law and order. Wadham the Home Secretary, think it’s very of those powers go to far. But actually “Liberty believes that any bill of suspects that this is because “they declared that it was the important to see we have one of the most draconian human rights should be entrenched think that wins them votes”. job of elected politi- terrorism sets of terrorism measures already. We into our constitution and it shouldn’t What, then, can ordinary people do cians, rather than measures in don’t need any more.” be possible to tinker with it.” He does to put human rights back on the gov- unelected judges, to that con- Although the government has now not share David Blunkett’s scepticism ernment’s agenda? What can young protect our rights. text. If you said it will not introduce identity cards of judges, as they “have the least people do? But he is likely to rush, if you – a victory for groups such as Liberty power”. He adds, “In fact, we’re run by “First of all, everybody should join meet resistance bend the – the lack of opposition and dissent at the government so I think the stronger Liberty,” Wadham says without hesita- from libertarians, rules, if you this time worries Wadham. 86% of the that parliament becomes and the tion. “We need the money, we need who believe that, if violate peo- public did, after all, share the govern- stronger the courts become, the better people’s membership fees. It is possi- left to politicians, ple’s rights, ment’s initial enthusiasm for ID cards. safeguards and protections there are.” ble to join together in groups and to our civil liberties the danger is “When something like the US atroci- Wadham feels that this government make a difference. We certainly know may be among the that innocent ties occur, it’s very easy for everyone to has so far been a fair-weather friend to that when people are silent, what hap- casualties of the war people are caught join together to say ‘something must civil liberties. “The high point of the pens is we have draconian legislation. on terrorism. up in that process. be done and we’ll support everything government’s commitment to human Politics is difficult, individuals can’t As director of Liberty, That’s one of the rea- the government does’. But we think rights was probably around ’97 ’98 change the world on their own, but the human rights sons why we are so when there is a lot of consensus when they were first elected,” says they can make a difference. And it’s campaigning vehemently against ter- around changing the rules, often that Wadham. “They implemented the absolutely crucial that people under- group, John rorism legislation. majority gets it wrong. Because it Human Rights Act and saw that it stand that politics is not about voting Wadham is Because what terrorism doesn’t take into account the rights of limited their freedom, and I think that once every four of five years, it’s actu- fully aware legislation is all about minorities, even of suspected terror- their commitment to human rights ally about trying to change the world of the chal- is eroding rights.” ists, because they have rights too.” has eroded since that point.” in the mean time.” SECTION: Quote along here - PAGE ??

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Where everything is ?? ¥ More things ?? ¥ Sport ?? outlook interview 9 November 2001 12 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus Sunday morning fever When I wake up in my make-up, it’s too early for that dress: Clothes to be hungover in the morning after record on. You’ve got nothing to do today, so don’t do anything. T-shirt: New York thrift store. Jeans: Diesel. Leopard print dress: Miss Selfridge. Stillettos: charity shop. Grey jumper: Topshop. Coral dress: vintage shop. Pink slippers: Walthamstow mar ket. o oei.Tesni padtebrsaesnig epehv copies of the You come in. The sun is up and the birds are singing. People have Telegraph under their arms. Fuckers. Pull a woolly jumper over your trashy high street dress, shove on a thrift store and your boyfriend’s t-shirt jeans. Make a cup of tea. Put a

Maybe sex never goes out of fashion, but sometimes I’d rather have a cup of tea. Model: Georgia ¥ Photos: Emily Haworth-Booth ¥ Styling: Katharine Hibbert 9 November 2001 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 13 BEATING BREAST CANCER Hannah Fuller reports on the development of vaccines for breast cancer Breast cancer is the most common can- immune system could be implemented cines is that a type of TAA from a can- cer, affecting one in nine women in the as a tool against cancer. cer cell is extracted and combined with UK. Every week, 730 breast cancer Some of the bacterial agents extracted an adjuvant which augments the cases are diagnosed and 250 people die by Coley are now being combined with immune response to the TAA, so if a of the disease. However, more women molecules that exist exclusively on the cancerous tumour arises then the are surviving breast cancer today than surface of cancer cells (Tumour immune system will reject the cells and ever before, with 74% of women still Associated Antigen, or TAA) to form a attack the tumour. alive five years after contracting the dis- kind of vaccine. TAAs may be proteins, One company leading the field in ease. This is due in part to many high enzymes or carbohydrates and because developing vaccines is Oxford profile publicity campaigns, with they are unique to cancer cells, they BioMedica. They have recently devel- celebrities such as Geri Halliwell talk- provide a target for the immune system oped a gene-based vaccine that acts ing about their cancer scares, increasing to recognise so that it can destroy the upon a TAA known as OBA1. The dif- awareness and improving the chances cancer cells. ference between the OBA1 protein and of discovering the cancer early. All cells in the body have antigens on other TAAs targeted in the past is that An exciting development in the battle their surface, but the body recognises it is present in many tumours – 84% of against breast cancer is the advent of them and they are not rejected by the breast cancer tumours are labelled by new vaccines that aim to prevent the immune system. If a foreign cell enters OBA1. This means that it is more like- disease. In fact, this concept is by no the body, for example a bacterium, the ly to be able to prevent breast cancer. means new. In the 1890’s, William immune system does not recognise the Although the vaccine is still in develop- Coley, a general surgeon in New York cell surface molecules and implements ment, its effectiveness in inducing an Photo: Sam Dobbin noticed that some patients who devel- an immune response against the bac- immune response against colorectal oped a bacterial infection in the region terium. A major challenge to the treat- cancer tumours is currently being test- developments are likely to have a huge radiotherapy. If a successful vaccine of their tumour actually had a reduc- ment of cancer is that the immune sys- ed, and the results show that the vac- effect. It will mean that many cancers against cancer is developed then there tion in the tumour size. He experi- tem recognises the TAAs as self-anti- cine is safe and well tolerated, and give never even develop. When cancer does will be huge implications as one of the mented by injecting bacteria into gens, so the cancer cells are accepted a positive indication of its effectiveness. occur, fewer people will have to go Western World’s biggest killers is oblit- tumours and in some cases the tumour and the body has no defence against Cancer affects the lives of so many through the extreme physical and emo- erated. shrank. This was the first sign that the the cancer. The theory behind the vac- people in the UK today that these tional stress of chemotherapy and DEBAUCHED IN The chemistry of farting CAMBRIDGE Flatulence, passing wind, farting, whatev- waste gas is passed through a ring of mus- Contrary to popular belief, it’s not er you want to call it, it’s probably not a cle at the anus. And the smell can’t be only the Cambridge students of 2001 subject you discuss at length. Noises and blamed on methane – that’s an odourless who involve themselves in acts of smells cause us acute embarrassment, but gas – but results from other compounds debauchery. The young Isaac Newton why do they happen? Just a little bit curi- made in the digestion process. of Trinity College was, by his own ous? Then read on… Farting may seem like a silly subject, but admittance, a very badly behaved stu- In short, digestion produces a lot of it has recently attracted media attention dent. waste gas. Acids and enzymes help the from the likes of New Scientist. Australian In his diary of 1662 he listed the body to break ingested food down into scientists have proved that farts could sins for which he sought absolution. smaller molecules. Bacteria, and one par- spread germs by asking a young boy to Some of his more shocking misde- ticular bacterium, known as a break wind onto a laboratory dish. The meanours involved making pies on a methanogen, can also aid this process, following morning all manner of bacteria Sunday night and swimming in a tub breaking down the food into molecules of were found growing on the plate. New on the Sabbath. He also admitted to methane. As methane is not a good source Scientist praised the work as shedding light having "uncleane thoughts, words, of energy for the body, it is passed out of on a little known issue of public health. actions and dreamese" and "threating the body as waste gas. And if you fancy pursuing research in my father and mother Smith to burne Peeerrrpppwwrrpfff. this up and coming field, Australia seems them and the house over them". But why do farts make that noise? It to be the place to go. Scientists there are Disgraceful. happens as a result of squeezing air aiming to develop an anti-farting vaccine Eat your heart out, The Daily through a small space. Rather like the for livestock, who are believed to make a Mail… noise you make if you try to blow air significant contribution to Australia’s through your mouth with your lips greenhouse gas emissions. Becky Burton and Gabbie Bradfield, Photo: Sam Dobbin pressed together, the noise happens as Liz Willcocks with thanks to John Brooke

ETHICS: SHOULD WE MAKE SPACE INTO A JUNK FREE ZONE? Don’t be a litter bug, says Jonathan Zwart It’s a necessary evil, replies Becky Burton Space junk comes in two forms – ing around our cosmos. When larger Space junk is a necessary evil. In a to send missions to remove the by- debris orbiting alongside satellites, specimens strike the effects can be world where we are dependent on products. But this doesn’t matter, and "spent" rocket boosters jetti- appalling. In 1996 a French satellite mobile phones, weather predic- because there is a solution that is soned into the South Pacific by virtu- was destroyed (creating more tions and the Internet, we can- affordable: space junk is meticulously ally every trip into space. Hazardous debris...) by a chunk of Ariane V. not do without missions to monitored. US space command has waste from used hardware that has an What will be the fate of space Space and satellite deployment. technology to track and map over adverse impact on the marine envi- exploration once a space-walking But most satellites run out of 7000 pieces of junk, some as small as ronment should not be tolerated astronaut is hit by a fuel tank larg- the fuel keeping them on the a bolt. And that technology is con- indefinitely. It is some of the world's er than he is? correct orbit after 5-6 years. stantly being improved – recent proj- more powerful nations who allow this It’s not enough for space agen- The resulting useless satel- ects have included space monitoring to happen. The blinkered outlook of cies to say that they’ll ‘track’ lites, and the general waste stations. With this information, satel- these nations with respect to the issue space junk, because the effort that comes with all techno- lites are steered to avert collision. of space junk is, in my opinion, com- involved in getting a satellite logical projects, both con- Space junk is a problem, but a con- parable to their deplorable attitudes to swerve off course is tribute to inevitable junk. trolled one. A reduction in space junk to excess carbon emissions. inconvenient and expen- Fair enough. But why should of course be encouraged in the In fact, irresponsible space pro- sive. And this is not to men- don’t we just bring the future and the possible introduction grammes have already begun to reap tion damage to scientific experiments junk down? The answer is of xenon as a longer lasting fuel and what they have sowed. Space shuttles in space – Hubble continues to be at simple: money. It’s just ‘microsatellites’ will facilitate this. have returned to earth with windows risk. The risk to science, astronauts not economically But if we need satellites we get junk. damaged by supersonic flecks of and our terrestrial environment obvi- viable to remove it all. If Removing it is not a solution, so it is paint. And that's just from the small- ates the need for a concerted, interna- we expect to have up-to-date technol- being dealt with in the best way pos- est of the particles of the junk float- tional code of conduct on this matter. ogy at our fingertips, we can’t afford sible. 9 November 2001 14 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

Downing Place (opp Crowne • CADS: A captivating production St. Mary’s Church. 11am. • Junction CDC: Wild Style: FRIDAY 9 Plaza). 6pm. £5 (£4 students). of ‘Ecstasy’. A play by Mike Leigh. • CU Ballet Club: Pointe Class [30 RnB/Hip Hop 10–3. The Junction. • Trinity Ents: Hallucin8, house Christs College, New Court mins] for ‘intermediate’ & 10pm. £7 adv/£9 door. FILM and trance, 9pm – 1am, cheap Theatre. 7:30pm. £5/£4. ‘advanced’ level dancers. Kelsey • new cambridge ensemble: • ARTS: 1.30, 6.00: Nine Lives Of drinks, CUSU ID. Trinity College, • The Junction CDC: Love and Kerridge. 4pm. £50p. Haydn-Scena di Berenice, Tomas Katz (15). 3.00: Brother Wolfson Party Room. 9am. £2.50. Other Fairytales: Chaucer • CU Ballet Club: Advanced. Beethoven – Symphony 2. Soprano (18). 8.00: The Man Who Wasn’t reworked. Rape, power and Lasts 1.5 hours. Alexandra Kidgell, Conductor There (15). 10.30pm: El Mariachi MUSIC passion. The Cambridge Drama www.cam.ac.uk/societies/ballet. Andrew Griffiths. Queens’ College, (15). 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.20: The • CUOperaS & the Bene’t Club: A Centre, Covent Garden Mill Road. Kelsey Kerridge, add £2.25 Chapel. 8pm. £3. Piano Teacher (18). 10.40pm: A recital of arias and duets from 8pm. £5.50 disc. entrance to KK. 4:30pm. £1. • SJCMS Organ Recital: Benjamin Hard Day’s Night (U). 12.30: The Mozart’s operas. Corpus Christi • CU Ballet CLub: Intermediate Nicholas (Tewkesbury Abbey) plays Man Who Wasn’t There (15). College, Chapel. 1:15pm. (approx.grades 4–6 RAD) Bach, Franck, Vierne, Daniel-Lesur, 3.15: The Book That Wrote Itself • Jazz At Johns: Jazz At Johns lasts 1.5 hours. Prokofiev. St John’s College (15). 5.00, 9.10: Sweet Smell Of Party Event featuring “Something SATURDAY 10 www.cam.ac.uk/societies/ballet. Chapel. 1:15pm. Success (U). 6.50, 11.00pm: Battle Else”. St John’s College, Fisher Kelsey Kerridge, add £2.25 Royale (18). Building. 9pm. £4.50. FILM entrance to KK. 2:30pm. £1. THEATRE • New Hall: Festival of films on the • Jubilation Sound: Roots reggae • ARTS: 11.00am: Help! I’m A Fish • CU Judo Club: Senior graded • BATS: Mojo Mickybo: the Classics – Cleopatra (1934) night to raise money for Afghan (U) (Kids Club). 1.30, 6.00: Nine session. Fenner’s Gym. 6pm. friendship of two young boys in directed by Cecil B DeMille. New appeal. Robinson College. 8pm. Lives Of Tomas Katz (15). 3.30, • The Pembroke College Winnie- 1970s Belfast. Queens’ College, Hall, Buckingham House Lecture £2. 8.00: The Man Who Wasn’t There The-Pooh Society: Elevenses – Fitzpatrick Hall. 9pm. £3 – £4. Theatre. 8:30pm. • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime (15). 10.30pm: Desperado (15). including TEA and CAKE!!! and • CADS: A captivating production recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.20: The Pooh of course! Emmanuel College, of ‘Ecstasy’. A play by Mike Leigh. MISC 1:10pm. Piano Teacher (18). 10.40pm: A Z7. 4pm. Christs College, New Court • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night • Stars of Aviation: Chaotic indie- Hard Day’s Night (U). 3.15: The • Trinity Hall Ents: AMNESIA. Theatre. 7:30pm. £5/£4. Experience’ – meal + rockers fumble their way through Book That Wrote Itself (15). 1.00, Ibiza House and Trance. Trinity • CU Black & Asian Cacus: entertainment, followed by Culanu another Friday night. The Boatrace, 5.00, 9.10: Sweet Smell Of Hall. 9pm. £4. Multicultural extravaganza – Oneg. The Student Centre, 3 East Rd, nr Grafton. 8pm. £3. Success (U). 6.50, 11.00pm: Battle professional African dancers, Thompsons Lane. 7:30pm. • The Junction: 70s and 80s Disco Royale (18). MUSIC drummers, Indian musicians, • CU Society for Women Lawyers: extravaganza and karaoke bar. • New Hall: Festival of films on the • Bach B-minor Mass: A beautiful fashion show. Selwyn College, hip-hop night. Members free, non- The Junction, 10–2. 10pm. £3.50 Classics – Iphigenia (1976) rendition of this most fabulous of Diamond Room, Cripps Court. members £2. All welcome. b4 11. directed by M Cacoyannis works. Trinity College, Chapel. 7pm. £2. Cocktails £1.60. Kambar. 9pm – 2 (subtitles). New Hall, Buckingham 7:30pm. £8, £6 (students). • The Junction CDC: Love and am THEATRE House Lecture Theatre. 8pm. • Christ’s College Music Society: Other Fairytales: Chaucer • Salsa Classes with Nelson • BATS: Mojo Mickybo: the Christ’s Voices and Orchestra reworked. Rape, power and Batista: www.cambridgesalsa.com friendship of two young boys in MISC perform Mozart’s final masterpiece: passion. The Cambridge Drama Abs beg/imp: 6–7.30pm. Int/adv: 1970s Belfast. Queens’ College, • Cambridge Students Against the the Requiem. Christs College, Centre, Covent Garden Mill Road. 7.30–9pm. St Columba’s Hall, 4 Fitzpatrick Hall. 9pm. £3 – £4. War: Peace Demonstration. Great Chapel. 8pm. £6/£3. 8pm. £5.50 disc.

The Corpus Christi College Lady Margaret The Cambridge Arts Theatre Players & The Fletcher Players

Invite invite applications from students and drama societies invite applications for FUNDING and/or use of the Queen’s Building Theatre APPLICATIONS for productions during Lent Term 2002 wishing to stage productions at the newly refurbished for funding to direct in the DEADLINE Ð 6pm, Sunday 18th November Lent Term in the Applications to Laura Pollard in Emmanuel College ¥ For further details e-mail lrp23 Corpus Christi College School of Pythagoras St. John’s College’s 70 seat TH ENTS Playroom capacity studio theatre presents Cambridge 10 St Edward’s Passage, during the Lent Term. Application ApplicationsApplications & questions to: to: Student AMNESIA forms can be collected from the Porters’ Lodge, Corpus Ibiza House and Trance Louis – ladymargaretplayers@ Art Exhibition Christi College. Forms should then go to: The Theatre cusu.cam.ac.uk Saturday 10th November Squash 9pm – 1am Administrator, c/o Corpus Christi College. Enquiries to: CLOSING DATE – 7–9pm – 15th £4 CUSU ID Anna Jones, [email protected]. The deadline for receipt of November Trinity Hall 16th NOVEMBER Jesus College Bar applications is midday, Friday 16th November. [email protected] Garret Hostel Lane

CU Gilbert and Sullivan Society AUDITIONS The Broken Line For our Fresher’s Show IOLANTHE in Week One, Lent Term Robbie Gringras Sunday 11th November 1–6pm Queens’ College, Bowett Room (Open to anyone who hasn’t sung a performs principal role with us) Bring something to sing if you like. The best sandwiches Non-auditioned chorus. his new play – exploring the Contact: Laura [email protected] in Cambridge contemporary situation in Israel and if you love coffee, @ The CUlanu Centre, 33 Bridge Street Christ’s Films Sunday 11th November 8pm & 10.30pm then you’ll love O’Brien’s Wednesday 14th November, 7.30pm TRAFFIC Thursday 15th November – 10pm Tickets £3.50 THE PIANO New Court Theatre, Christ’s 43 Regent St. 6 St. Edward’s Passage To book contact: £2 inc. raffle for wine Simon on 366 338 or sae23 www.christs.cam.ac.uk/cfilms/ Cambridge Arts Theatre PULL OUT

CAMBRIDGE’S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS AND THE VARSITY ANNUAL SURVEY, WITH THE CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP TO VAL D’ISERE. VOTE NOW – WWW.VARSITY.CAM.AC.UK outlook interview 9 November 2001 S2 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus THE RISE OF THE MR MEN We don’t know where they hide, we never seem to be able to find them, but that doesn’t mean that Cambridge doesn’t have some serious talent to offer. There are some very eligible men around and we have gathered together a select group of them for your delectation. All we want you to do is browse through the pro- files we’ve given you, have a look at the general impressions we got from meeting them, consider which one makes you drool, and then hurry to the nearest computer to log your vote on the Varsity website (www.varsity.cam.ac.uk). We have tried to cater for everyone’s taste, and you can be sure that we have no idea of the financial value of any of them. Remember, the guy who gets the most votes will winner a dinner at Browns restaurant with the winner of the most eli- gible bachelorette competition. Rachael Marsh and Anita Moss MR MUSCLE MR UNION MR ARTSY MR MELODY MR PRESIDENT

Name: Tom Edwards-Moss Name: Jeremy Brier Name: Jon Croker Name: Olly Wright Name: Pav Akthar Age: 21 Age: 21 Age: 20 Age: 20 Age: 23 Subject: Geography, 3rd year. Subject: English, 3rd year. Subject: English, 3rd year. Subject: English, 3rd Year. Subject: Did do English and Education. Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Moody, deep, motivated. Intelligent, charming, modest. Tall, enthusiastic, interested. Crazy, arty, blond. Fun, outrageous, sincere. If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would you be?: Tiger. you be?: Buffalo. you be?: Bear. you be?: Cat. you be?: Leopard. Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: Blues rower, in winning boat this year President of the Cambridge Union President of the ADC St. John’s College Chorister CUSU President Blues cyclist. Stand up comedian Actor and Director. First 15 rugby for college Rowed for Homerton, badminton. In ten years time I would like to be: Occasional theatre reviews for Varsity In ten years time I’d like to be: Squash and football. Comedy and acting. Retired in the country. In ten years time I would like to be: Directing gangster films. In ten years time I’d like to be: In bed. In ten years time I’d like to be: A cam- Which famous person inspires you?: In a career in politics, with a wife and Which famous person inspires you?: Which famous person inspires you?: paigning activist to give a voice to Lance Armstrong. beautiful children. Martin Scorsese. My dad. under represented groups, travelling At the college bar you would order: Which famous person inspires you?: At the college bar you would order: At the college bar, you would order: around, possibly in South America. Pint of lager. Nelson Mandela. Bitter or whisky. Always bitter. Which famous person inspires you?: At the college bar you would order: Madonna. OUR VERDICT: Definitely a trophy Gin and tonic or a pint of bitter. OUR VERDICT: Nearest you’ll find OUR VERDICT: Very cool, highly at At the college bar you would order: pull, but there’s more to him than to Russell Crowe in Cambridge, ease, wannabe surfy (see hair). Lemonade. that. Now retired from rowing so OUR VERDICT: Assured, non-stan- declares he is definitely not a thesp, Certainly not your archetypal choir more time on his hands. Check out his dard union president (lacks pomposi- but we have our doubts that you can boy, bit of a groovy dude. OUR VERDICT: Seriously charis- thigh muscles – seeing is believing. ty). spend that much time with them and matic, very friendly, and interesting; not be contaminated. he’s not in the job for his c.v.

MR SCHMOOTH MR HESELTINE MR DOT.COM MR BALLS THE MUPPETS

Name: Freddie New Name: Robert Jenrick Name: Roland Swinger Name: Tim Hall Names: Julian Blake (19) and Adam Age: 21 Age: 19 Age: 20 Age: 20 Joseph (20). Subject: Classics, 3rd year. Subject: History, 2nd year. Subject: English, 2nd year. Subject: History, 2nd year. Subject: Both SPS, 2nd years. Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourself: Three words to describe yourselves: Sporting, like a laugh, alcoholic. Driven, political, cultured. Innocent, thoughtful, friendly. Confident, easy-going, happy. Arrogant, pugnacious, evil. If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were an animal what would If you were animals what would you you be?: Gorilla. you be?: Fox. you be?: Chinchilla. you be?: Penguin. be?: Dung beetles. Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: Credentials: U21’s rugby and college rugby last year Conservative Association “political Ex-creative director, Varsity Blues footballer Varsity editors. BATS drama mastermind of everything” (treasurer) Professional designer Rugby/cricket for college In ten years time we would like to be: Vice-President of the Kangeroos JCR Academic Affairs Set up internet company. Coach women’s college football. Finishing our degrees and owning Drinking Society. Ex-News Editor Varsity. In ten years time I’d like to be: not In ten years time I’d like to be: On an Dojo’s. In ten years time I’d like to be: In a In ten years time I’d like to be: A mil- retired. island, or realistically in journalism or Which famous person inspires you?: bar in the Mediterranean, or realisti- lionaire businessman fighting my first Which famous person inspires you?: media. Perhaps a Blue Peter presenter. Citizen Kane – we want to own every- cally probably in London. election to parliament. Tim Burton. Which famous person inspires you?: thing. Which famous person inspires you?: Which famous person inspires you?: At the college bar you would order: Gary Lineker. At the college bar you would order: The college Dean. Lord Curzon (former statesman). Jack Daniels. At the college bar you would order: Most of it. At the college bar, you would order: At the college bar you would order: Pint of Tetley’s. Gin and tonic or whisky. Scotch. OUR VERDICT: Modest and unpre- OUR VERDICT: The economy tentious considering the rumours OUR VERDICT: Entertaining, easy option, buy one get one free. Bound OUR VERDICT: This guy came OUR VERDICT: Appears to be a about what he has achieved, motivated conversationalist, bit of a geezer. Full to woo you with their words, but be complete with a massive charm offen- gentleman and would treat you to a and interesting, but quite reserved. He of laid-back charm and very stylishly warned – they don’t get out much. sive (“can I buy you a drink laydeez”). nice meal, but you can’t help feeling has an air of quiet, assured confidence. dressed. Though he was also a rugger-bugger. there’s something hidden behind it all. VOTE NOW AT www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ¥ VOTE NOW AT www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ¥ VOTE NOW 9 November 2001 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science S3

Cryptic Crossword GO GIRLS! Across Down So you’ve seen what talent the men of 4. Hang Orangeman for harbouring wool (6) 1. He turns the tables and plays music (4,6) Cambridge have to offer, now it’s time 7. Musical note on a register for type of artist 2. I am short Greek character or a Bantu warrior for the women. We need two people to (10) (4) nominate every individual: let us know 8. Old flame with European Union Bible leaves 3. Result sabotaged in Northern Ireland (6) name, college, e-mail and max. 50 the stage (6) 4. Had food with Primes of America, Turkey and words on why the nominee should 9. Bill resigned before Ted is proved innocent (9) England (3) qualify as most eligible bachelorette in 11. Devourer of literature? (8) 5. Vegetables protect grassy turf (10) Cambridge. Girls, if you like the look of 15. Reckless queen gives slice of bacon (6) 6. Insect on the French river gets the horn (6) the guys in this issue and wouldn’t 17. University head in kick off for Asian name (3) 10. Rail company article on a Church offshoot (6) mind a meal at Brown’s pressure your 18. Henry infiltrates damaged plant’s defence (5) 12. Eccentric with an accent active in the old gum friends to nominate you. Send entries 19. Take Ulric from distorted circular curve (3) tree (10) to: [email protected] 20. Energy converter, from Monday, at liberty (6) 13. Choice of potion remedy? (6) Closing date Sunday 11th. 21. Plan to seclude revolutionary with Henry the 14. Spectacles in M ‘n’ S for seeing satellites (5) First (8) 16. Growing escape abbreviated by tin gala 23. Restore head off entreaties, anguished (9) frenzy (10) 25. Erects plan out of confidential matter (6) 20. Plummy mother and her child (6) 27. Making arrangements for instrument, I chant 22. A kiss after endless climb to orgasm (6) (10) 24. Take the ferry to reach low prices, we hear (4) 28. Anna Palmer’s hiding jellied petrol (6) 26. Boy stomped, and sped off (3) Christmas Offers Quick Crossword Full head highlights and a cut and finish for an amazing Across Down £59.50 (normally £90) 4. Type of blood vessel (6) 1. Flower (10) 7. Protection from heat, electricity or sound 2. Band headed by Damon Albarn (4) Half head highlights and a The Varsity crossword is sponsored by Joti and Debbie, graduate advisors at Natwest. To win a £10 music/book voucher return either completed puzzle with your details to the Varsity offices by 12 noon Wednesday. (10) 3. Gaseous hydrocarbon (6) cut and finish all for £51 8. Gardener’s or bricklayer’s tool (6) 4. Insect of genus Formica (3) Compiled by Sarah (normally £75) 9. Capital letters (5, 4) 5. A wandering minstrel (10) 11. Musical note (8) 6. Colour (6) A 15% NUS discount Answers to last week’s crossword: 15. The image cast by an object blocking light 10. Land mass surrounded by water (6) Cryptic Crossword – Across: 1. runner bean 6. puck 8. tattooing 9. albino 10. bug 11. airmail 12. (6) 12. Timidly (10) applies to all other services mustang 14. diadem 15. tabard 17. strudel 19. spaniel 21. elm 22. virago 23. manifesto 25. head 26. 17. Resin, tissue surrounding teeth (3) 13. Danger (6) and is available, Monday to symbolical Down: 1. ramadan 2. number 3. even-handed 4. bit 5. astigmatism 6. prompt 7. confined 18. Striped animal (5) 14. Ban resulting from social custom (5) Friday, all year round 10. blamelessly 13. sabbatical 14. detonate 16. alcohol 18. unwind 20. italic 24. orb 19. Mineral from which metal can be extracted 16. Passing (10) (3) 20. Japanese religion (6) Crowne Plaza Downing St Quick Crossword – Across: 1. tournament 6. Pact 8. backbench 9. Normal 10. Too 11. Mystify 12. 20. One who breathes noisily during sleep (6) 22. Soup, unglazed porcelain (6) 01223 301010 Manakin 14. bolero 15. nutmeg 17. Assayer 19. Elevate 21. Air 22. Amoeba 23. Pinocchio 25. Barb 21. Stubborn (8) 24. Drink made from fermented honey (4) Offer also available at Atrium Health 26.crematoria Down: 1. tsunami 2. Usurps 3. Negatively 4. Mab 5. Necromancer 6. Paella 7. Cackling 23. Sign made over stamps (pl.) (9) 26. Useless (3) Club, Newmarket Rd 01223 319154 10. typographer 13. Nethermost 14. Basilica 16. Regalia 18. Absorb 20. Alegar 24. ohm 25. Tended, suckled (6) 27. Going up and down in waves (10) Special offer is valid Monday to Friday until 8th Dec, please bring this ad with you Last week’s winner was Ilan Kelman (Darwin) – your voucher is at NatWest Benet Street. 28. Was obedient (6)

We invite you to a presentation on opportunities in Strategic Consulting Monday, 12th November 2001, 6:30PM The Garden House Hotel

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To apply please send CV and cover letter, by 14th December 2001, to: Sonia Davies The Parthenon Group 39 Sloane Street London SW1X 9LP Telephone: 020 7201 0460 For more information please see our THE PARTHENON GROUP website: www.parthenon.com London • Boston• San Francisco The ✔ WIN! A free ski trip Yes! It’s that knee-tremblingly annualexciting time of year again when we asksurvey you, the readers to speak to Val d’Isere your brains.The annual Varsity survey has come upon us like a fourteen year old’s first wet dream. “But wait,”I hear you cry, lips a-trembling with righteous anger,“why should we waste ten minutes of our valuable time filling in your poxy questionnaire?”Why? WHY? Because we are offering you the opportunity to win a free holiday on the Varsity Ski Trip, with travel, accommodation and ski pass all included. Over 1,000 Oxbridge students are expected to be going on the trip, the largest ever! You could be one of those lucky people who soaks up the sun and snow of Val d’Isere this Christmas. “What do I need to do?”I hear you ask. Well, fill in the survey either on our award winning website www.varsity.cam.ac.uk or UMS it to Varsity, 11-12 Trumpington St. CB2 1QA. All entries must be completed by 16th November

Background Sex Booze & Fags Random stuff

Year How many sexual partners have you had? How much do you smoke? If you could blow up one thing in Cambridge, what would it be? Gender Were you a virgin when you came to Cambridge? Never Socially <10 a day [ Subject Yes No 10-20 a day >20 a day What is the ugliest college? College (optional) Which of the following have you tried? How much do you spend on alcohol per week? E-mail address Three (or more) in a bed Nothing less than £10 £10-20 No (or you can’t win) Have you ever been: Yes Bondage (anything from scarves to handcuffs) £20-40 £40-75 £75+ to India? Dressing up in a like kinky way How often do you get drunk? Work stuff to Girton? Sex with an authority figure (lecturer, tutor) Never Monthly Fortnightly How many hours a week do you spend working? to CUSU Council? Sex in a public place (please specify) Weekly Twice/week Daily Less than 5 5-10 10-20 to The Careers Centre? Are you a member of a drinking society? 20-35 35-50 50+ on a demonstration? Have you ever been unfaithful? Yes No How many lectures do you attend a week? sick in your room? Yes No Which one? How many lectures should you attend a week? drunk in a supervision? Are you: Have you ever had sex under the influence of alcohol… Do you wish you had gone to another University? in love with a beautiful woman? Heterosexual Yes No Yes No Homosexual …And regretted it? If Skiworld was able to offer an all-inclusive self-catering price of If so, which one? Bisexual Yes No less than £600 for 7 nights snow sports holday in the USA would Yes No Asexual you book it? Politics Lifestyle Other (please specify) Fill out your survey right now on Do you have confidence in CUSU? How would you rate the following clubs? Yes No www.varsity.cam.ac.uk or UMS How do you rate CUSU? Drugs to the Varsity offices (address above) good mediocre poor Never been Very good Good Average Very good Which illegal substances have you taken and how often? Poor Very poor Don’t care Cindy’s What do you think of the Cambridge Union? The Prize Daily Weekly Monthly `Rarely Never Fez Arrogant and elitist Cannabis Junction Basic Varsity Trip holiday for 2 people for either 8- A good forum for debate 15, 15-22 or 8-22 December. Prize includes return Speed Life travel as available at time of booking and subject to Who did you vote for in the last General Election? Ecstasy Po-na-na agreement with Skiworld, shared self-catering Labour Conservative Lib Dems accommodation, 6 or 13 day lift ticket and insur- LSD Toxic-8 ance. It does not include damage deposits, equip- Green Didn’t vote Cocaine Other ment hire, lessons or any other in-resort elements as Other organised by the Varsity Trip Committee. No cash Other (please specify) alternatives or alternate dates. This competition is Should tutition fees be scrapped? (please specify) How much exercise do you do (hours per week)? closed to employees of Skiworld or their families, Yes No and any member of the Varsity Trip Committee. Should cannabis be legalised? None 1-2 2-5 Prizewinners agree to be bound by Skiworld's stan- Are Labour doing a good job? Yes No 5-10 10-20 20+ dard terms and booking conditions. Yes No Entries must reach Varsity by 16 November.

THE LARGEST INDEPENDENT SKI OPERATOR IN THE UK Skiworld are delighted to be associated with this prestigious and long-established event. As the UK's premiere snowsports event tour operator, we are sure that all par- www.varsitytrip.co.uk ticipants will enjoy a well organised and efficient in-resort service, and that the skill BOOK NOW! of the organising committee will ensure a GREAT event in the world's best-known resort of Val d'Isere. Good luck to all participants, and may the best blue win! www.varsitytrip.co.uk 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk LISTINGS 15

College, Winstantley Theatre. 9pm. • Raja Yoga Society: Stressed? • Corpus Christi College Pictures: SUNDAY 11 £2. MONDAY 12 Remaining free from worry helps Seven Samurai. McCrum Theatre, MISC your study. Inner Space, 6 King’s Benet Street. 8pm. £2. FILM • CU Kickboxing: suitable for any FILM Parade, Tel: 464616. 8pm. • ARTS: 11.15am: Kandahar (12): standard – beginners welcome. • ARTS: 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.20: The MISC Free preview for members. 1.30, Parkside Community College, same Piano Teacher (18). 2.30, 7.00: Nine MUSIC • Cambridge Students Against the 6.00: Nine Lives Of Tomas Katz side of Parkers Piece as police Lives Of Tomas Katz (15). 5.00: • Cambridge University War: Planning meeting. Christs (15). 3.00: Hamlet (2000) (12). station. 7pm. £2.50. Sweet Smell Of Success (U). 9.00: Troubadours: Rehearsals for College, Z Basements. 8pm. 8.00: The Man Who Wasn’t There • CUJS: Slave Auction for Magen The Man Who Wasn’t There (15). performers of mediaeval and • CU Ballet Club: ‘Improvers’ Ballet (15). 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.20: The David Adom – come and volunteer 3.15: The Man Who Wasn’t There Renaissance music. Jesus College, Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick Piano Teacher (18). 3.15: The Book yourself. The CUlanu Centre, 33 (15). 6.30: Le P’tit Parigot (PG) Part Octagon Room beneath bar. 7:30pm. Hall. 6pm. £1.50. That Wrote Itself (15). 1.00, 5.00, Bridge Street, contact hrr225 or 1. 1.00, 9.10: Sweet Smell Of • Newnham Raleigh Music Society: • CU Ballet Club: Jazz Dance Class 9.10: Sweet Smell Of Success (U). ajz23. 4pm. Success (U). Benjamin Britten The Golden Vanity — beginners level. Kelsey Kerridge, 6.50: Battle Royale (18). • Samatha Meditation: Meditation • Trinity Film: North By Northwest. Elgar Violin Concerto (Eleanor Parry). (+£2.25 entrance to KK). 8pm. £1. • Christ’s Films: Traffic. Winner of classes in traditional buddhist Hitchcock at his best. Winstantley Newnham College, Clough Hall. • CU Judo Club: Senior graded 4 Oscars. America’s war on drugs. meditation. No charge. Darwin Theatre. 9pm. £2. 8pm. £5/£2. session. Fenner’s Gym. 8pm. Starring Michael Douglas and College, Old Library. 8pm. Catherine Zeta Jones. Christs MISC TALK College, New Court Theatre. 8pm & MUSIC • Belly Dance: Belly dance for • CU Biological Society: Genetic MAY 10:30pm. £2. • Fairhaven Singers/ Ralph absolute beginners. Fun and good for Analysis of Brain Development-Prof • New Hall: Festival of films on the Woodward/ Dan Hyde: stress. King’s College, Chetwynd Steve Wilson, UCL. Pharmacology ANTHOLOGIES Classics – Colossus of Rhodes Remembrance Concert: Bach Room. 7:30pm. £Concs. Lecture Theatre, Tennis Court Road. (1961) directed by Sergio Leone. Komm, Faure, Brahms, candlelit • Belly Dance: Belly Dance for 7:30pm £1 non-members. 2002 New Hall, Buckingham House Howells Requiem. Queens’ College, regulars. Powerful form of self- • I-SOC: Zionist Dream Fact or Lecture Theatre. 5pm. Chapel. 8pm. expression. King’s College, Chetwynd Fantasy: Dr E Ottolenghi. The CUlanu EDITED BY ANDREW MOTION • Queens’ Films: Monty Python’s • Jazz in the Bar@Churchill: hosts Room. 6pm and 7:30pm. £Concs. Centre, 33 Bridge Street. 8pm. AND NICK CAVE Life of Brian. Discount for members the Josh Kemp quartet. FREE! • Cambridge University Strathspey of CU Monty Python Soc. Queens’ Churchill Bar. 9pm. and Reel Club: Scottish country THEATRE MICHAELMAS LAUNCH College, Fitzpatrick Hall. 8pm. • Salsa Dance Night: Pre-Club dancing: all welcome St John’s, • Junction CDC: Tiny Dynamite: £1.50. dance class for all levels 7–8pm. Palmerston Room. 7:30pm. £2. Contemporary – love chaos and • INFORMATION • Queens’ Films: Monty Python and Club till midnight. • CU Meditation & Buddhism memory. The Junction. 8pm. the Holy Grail. Discount for www.cambridgesalsa.com. Society: Introduction to meditation, £5.50 disc. ABOUT SUBMITTING members of CU Monty Python Soc. Sophbeck Sessions, 14 Tredgold for relaxation and development. • LITERARY READINGS Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick Hall. Lane, off Napier St, (next to Grafton Sidney Sussex, Knox-Shaw Room. 10:30pm. £1.50. Centre). 7pm. £Class+Club: £4. 7:15pm. TUESDAY 13 • SPECIAL GUESTS • Robinson Films: Brigit Jones’s • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with • SEE FUTURE VARSITYS Diary. Robinson College, TALK Philippe. Lucy Cavendish College, FILM Auditorium. 7pm & 10pm. £2. • MethSoc: Rev Brian Beck leads Oldham Student Bar. 5:15pm. £3.50, • ARTS: 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.20: The FOR FURTHER DETAILS • St John’s Films: Amores Perros study of the gospel of Luke. Wesley or termcard for 4 sessions for £10. Piano Teacher (18). 1.00, 5.00, (18). St John’s College, Fisher Church, nr Christ’s Pieces. 12am. • CUTAZZ: Intermediate/Advanced 9.10: Sweet Smell Of Success (U). Building. 7pm & 10:30pm. £1.80. tap classes. Robinson College, Games 2.50, 7.00: Nine Lives Of Tomas 28TH NOVEMBER • St John’s Films: Before Night Falls THEATRE Room. 7pm. £2.50. Katz (15). 4.30: The Man Who 7 – 9PM (15). St John’s College, Fisher • Footlights: Bar Night. Enjoy • Queens’ Art Society: Life drawing Wasn’t There (15). 9.15: Singin’ In Building. 9pm. £1.80. excellent stand-up, fine music and class. Everybody welcome. (Materials The Rain (U). BORDERS COFFEE • Trinity Film: North By Northwest. good company! ADC Theatre, Bar. provided.) Queens’ College, Erasmus • Churchill Films: Die Hard. Churchill Hitchcock at his best. Trinity 7:45pm. £3. Room. 7:30pm. £2. College, Wolfson Hall. 10pm. £2. SHOP 9 November 2001 16 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

• cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with • Churchill MCR Film Soc: Traffic • Churchill Films: On the Waterfront. • Cambridge University Symphony CLASSIFIED Pavara. Pembroke College, New (also late show at 11pm). Churchill College, Wolfson Hall. Orchestra: Programme: Beethoven’s Cellars. 7pm. £3.50 or termcard (4 Churchill College, Wolfson Hall. 10pm. £2. Fidelio Overture, Brahms’ Haydn • Play Guitar – Play sessions) for £10. 8pm. £2. • Queens’ Films: Crouching Tiger, Variations and Symphony No.2. Saxophone! • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with Hidden Dragon. Queens’ College, Trinity Chapel. 8pm. £7.50, (£4). FREE consultation Yvonne. Pembroke College, New MISC Fitzpatrick Hall. 8pm & 10:30pm. • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime Call 365276 or e-mail: Cellars. 5:15pm. £3.50 or termcard • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with £1.50. recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. [email protected] (4 sessions) for £10. Nancy. Corpus Christi College, Party • Robinson Films: Man On The 1:10pm. Need Jazzy ambience or Jazz • CUTAZZ: Beginners jazz classes. Room. 5.15pm and 7pm. £3.50 or Moon. Robinson College, • SJCMS Term Concert: Fauré moods for dancing? Emmanuel United Reformed Church, termcard for 4 sessions Auditorium. 9:30pm. £2. Requiem, Poulenc Organ Concerto, www.jazzam.fsnet.co.uk Church Hall. 7pm. £2.50. for £10. • St John’s Films: Before Night Falls Grieg Holberg Suite. St John’s • CUTAZZ: Intermediate/Advanced (15). St John’s College, Fisher College, Chapel. 8pm. £4/£2. jazz classes. Emmanuel United MUSIC Building. 9pm. £1.80. • 70s and 80s Disco Reformed Church, Church Hall. 8pm. • Britten@25: Choir of King’s extravaganza and karaoke bar. Hobbs Pavilion £2.50. College & Britten Sinfonia Soloists. MISC The Junction, 10–2. 10pm. £3.50 • CUWCC (Women’s Cricket): Winter Britten Choral Favourites. King’s • CU Ballet Club: ‘Beginners’ Ballet b4 11. RESTAURANT nets practice. Every Tuesday (during College, Chapel. 8pm. £5 – £15; £3 Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick term), 7–9pm. Info: hpl20/rc255. student standby. Hall. 7pm. £1.50. TALK Parkers Piece Hills Road Sports Centre. 7pm. • Britten@25: New Cambridge • CU Ballet Club: Beginners Classes. • Teape Lectures: “Travelling through 01223 367480 • The Globe Cafe: For international Opera Group: Britten’s The Turn of (both at the same level). Classes last Britain: India’s road to post students,relaxed and informal chat, the Screw. Church of St Edward King one hour. Queens’ College, Bowett colonialism”. Divinity Faculty. 5pm. 15% NUS coffee, cakes. Emmanuel College, & Martyr. 7:30pm. £8 full view; £5 Room. 6pm. £1.50. discount O6 New Court. 7pm. restricted view; £5 Student standby. • CU Jewish Society: ‘Lunch and THEATRE • Junction CDC: Medication: Rock Learn’ – free bagel lunch and great • Addenbrooke’s Staff and MUSIC gig. The Junction. 7pm. discussion. King’s College, Chetwynd Students: Annual Charity Pantomime An excellent Mediterranean menu • Britten@25: New Cambridge £7.50/£8.50 door. Room. More info: jmr53. 1pm. raising money for new cots for freshly prepared every day, a Opera Group: Britten’s The Turn of • LEAPS (Live Experimental Arts • CU Judo Club: Beginners session. babies. Mumford Theatre, Anglia. special vegetarian and vegan menu the Screw. Church of St Edward King Performance Society): First session free. Please wear strong 7:30pm. From £4.50 to £6.50. available, a comprehensive wine list & Martyr. 7:30pm. £8 full view; £5 Eclectic/experimental long-sleeved top. Fenner’s Gym. • CADS: The Eve of Retirement. and attentive service all within its restricted view; £5 Student standby. sounds/words/visuals. Live music: 8pm. Christs College, New Court Theatre. unique location in Cambridge. • Club Africa: Cools sounds to Jardin (electronic/post-rock), Rude • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with 7:15pm. £5/£4. Private parties welcome dance to from around the continent. Mechanicals Yvonne. Trinity Burrell’s field, Butler • Shadwell: William Shakespeare’s Devonshire Arms, Devonshire Road. (Beefheart/performance), Robyn House Party Room. 6pm. £3.50, or ‘The Tempest’ – magic, music, What others say about us: 8pm. £2. Moroney (poetry). termcard (4 sessions) monsters, marvellousness and “Excellent” – FHM • CU Jewish Society: ‘The Minims’ – http://www.leapsonline.org.uk/. for £10. dancing girls. Caius College, “Quality food, the breadth of new singing group with fun and Portland Arms, Victoria/Milton Road • Greek Dance Classes: Come have Bateman Auditorium. 7:45pm. £4. diverse music. CUlanu Centre, 33 corner. 8pm. £3 (£2). fun by learning to Greek dance! • The Junction CDC: The People choice is tantalising” – The Bridge Street. More info: jmr53. • Trinity College Music Society: The Darwin College, Common Room. Show: Second. Unfeigned love, Guardian 7pm. bass-baritone Oliver Hunt sings a 5pm. £15/term or £2/class. barbarism and marriage.Cambridge “A textbook display of fine • The Cheese Factory Jam Sessions: concert of songs by Brahms, Finzi & Drama Centre, Covent Garden Mill cooking” – Varsity Jazz/Funk Jam session. Local Ravel. Trinity College, College MUSIC Road. 8pm. £5.50 disc. “Wonderful” – Customer’s letter session/professionals and students Chapel. 8pm. £4, £2 & £1 • Kettle’s Yard Music: Subscription jam night. The Man On The Moon, (members). Concert: chamber music in the www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students see www.thecheesefactory.co.uk. beautiful setting of Kettle’s Yard 8:30pm. £only 2 quid (1 quid for TALK House. Kettle’s Yard. 8pm. £8.50 per players). • CU TM Society: Introductory Talk term, £20 per year. on Transcendental Meditation. Caius TALK College, Senior Parlour. 8pm. TALK • CU Scientific Society: Tim Radford • MMP (www.mmp.maths.org.uk): • Culture Shock: Seminars in of “The Guardian”: “Science for The disputed garment problem – the Contemporary Culture: Drew Milne people who don’t want to know mathematics of bargaining & & John Tranter, poets: “Information, KETTLE'S YARD GALLERY & HOUSE about science”. Pharmacology arbitration: Prof Richard Weber. Technology and the future of Poetry”. Contemporary art exhibitions, Lecture Theatre. 8pm. £1. Centre for Mathematical Sciences, Trinity Hall, The Master’s Lodge. talks, music, 20th century art • Geoffrey Coombe and friends Email [email protected] for 5:30pm. and objects. present Jazz record listening free tickets. 6:30pm. • Kettle’s Yard: Lunchtime talk about Come up for air, headspace

sessions: Gil Evans without Miles. • PdOC (Post-docs of Cambridge): the current exhibition or a work of and daylight. www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students Lecture Room 3, Music Faculty. From Post-Doc to Patents, Dr Fiona art in the house. Kettle’s Yard. 7:30pm. £5 (£4 conc). Bar (Patent Attorney). University 1:10pm. • Inter-Disciplinary Group, Faculty Centre, 12 Mill Lane, Room 1. 6pm. of Divinity: David Jasper, Ben THEATRE LAST WEEK’S Quash, and Jeff Leininger: Theatre, THEATRE • Addenbrooke’s Staff and Literature, and Theology. Faculty of • Addenbrooke’s Staff and Students: Annual Charity Pantomime Divinity, Lightfoot Room. 4:30pm. Students: Annual Charity Pantomime raising money for new cots for DOJOS raising money for new cots for babies. Mumford Theatre, Anglia. THEATRE babies. Mumford Theatre, Anglia. 7:30pm. From £4.50 to £6.50. COMPETITION • Addenbrooke’s Staff and 7:30pm. From £4.50 to £6.50. • CADS: The Eve of Retirement. Students: Annual Charity Pantomime • CADS: The Eve of Retirement. Christs College, New Court Theatre. raising money for new cots for Christs College, New Court Theatre. 7:15pm. £5/£4. IS NOW ON babies. Mumford Theatre, Anglia. 7:15pm. £5/£4. 7:30pm. From £4.50 to £6.50. • cujs: Robbie Gringras performs his PAGE 11 • CADS: The Eve of Retirement. new play ‘The Broken Line’. The Christs College, New Court Theatre. CUlanu Centre, 33 Bridge Street, FRIDAY 16 7:15pm. £5/£4. books tickets on 366 338 or sae23. • Footlights: Smoker. Fantastic late 7:30pm. MISC night comedy! “Intensely • Baha’i Society: Prayers for world entertaining…unhyped excellence!” peace and unity. Friends Meeting (Varsity). ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3.50. THURSDAY 15 House, Jesus Lane. 7:30pm. • Shadwell: William Shakespeare’s • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night CHECKING ‘The Tempest’ – magic, music, FILM Experience’ – meal + entertainment, monsters, majesty and dancing girls. • ARTS: 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.20: The followed by Culanu Oneg. The Caius College, Bateman Auditorium. Piano Teacher (18). 2.30, 7.00: Student Centre, 3 Thompsons Lane. 7:45pm. £4. Tears Of The Black Tiger (18). 4.30, 7:30pm. 9.00: The Man Who Wasn’t There • Queens’ Ents: Es Paradis. Ibiza (15). 1.00, 5.00, 9.10: Sweet Smell Anthems and Club Classics. Queens’ LISTINGS? Of Success (U). 3.00: Carmen Jones College, Fitzpatrick Hall. 9pm. £4. WEDNESDAY 14 (U). 7.00: Nine Lives Of Tomas Katz • Salsa Classes with Nelson Batista: (15). Abs beg/imp: 6–7.30pm. Int/adv: FILM • Central European Film Club: 7.30–9pm. St Columba’s Hall, 4 • ARTS: 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.20: The Innocence Unprotected directed by Downing Place (opp Crowne Plaza). Piano Teacher (18). 2.30, 7.00: Nine Dusan Makavejev. Caius College, 6pm. £5 (£4 students). CHECK ONLINE Lives Of Tomas Katz (15). 5.00: Bateman Auditorium. 8pm. Sweet Smell Of Success (U). 9.00: • Christ’s Films: The Piano. Winner MUSIC The Man Who Wasn’t There (15). of 3 Oscars. A passionate tale of • Britten@25: New Cambridge 3.15: The Man Who Wasn’t There sexual bargaining. Holly Hunter, Opera Group: Britten’s The Turn of (15). 6.30: Le P’tit Parigot (PG) Part Sam Neill, Harvey Keitel, Anna the Screw. Church of St Edward King www.varsity.cam.ac.uk 2. 1.00, 9.10: Sweet Smell Of Paquin. Christs College, New Court & Martyr. 7:30pm. £8, £5 restricted Success (U). Theatre. 10pm. £2. view; £5 student standby. A varsityarts

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High Art or Low Culture? 1999 2001? The return of the Turner Prize 9 November 2001 18 ARTSVISUAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A TURNER TANTRUMS Blaming Thatcher again Hannah Barry exposes the darker forces at work behind the scenes at the Turner Prize 001 nominee, Isaac Julien and urner is the only prize in the art rary art, the truth is that the Turner Prize about the worrying boundaries between for example. Is it not interesting that two former friend and collaborator, world that allows the Tate Gallery may be well known in Britain, but it fails commercial photography and so called of Saatchi’s Neurotic Realists from his 2Javier de Frutos, have fallen out Tto act as a state funded advertising to generate the type of debate Serota ‘real’ art. show in 1999, Tomoko Takahashi and over the copyright of a film that Julien agency, complemented by a Channel 4 would like it to. Debate it we do, but not It is true that the Turner has been Michael Raedecker, found their way onto is to include in his exhibition at Tate publicity campaign, for rubbish collec- about the artworks, and their technique awarded to some of the most acclaimed the Turner shortlist? Indeed, even Glenn Britain. Although the row began long tors, embroiderers, plagiarizers and not or even interpretation. With true British contemporary British artists, for example Brown was shown as part of Sensation before the artist was nominated for least, god help the art critics at the vagueness, discussion meanders around Rachel Whiteread, Anish Kapoor, (Young British Artists from the Saatchi the £20,000 art prize, it seems that de Evening Standard. ‘No real art?’ demand the ‘art or not’ debate which we all realize Anthony Gormley, Gillian Wearing and Collection). And as for Jopling, well his Frutos’ demand for formal recogni- the smug masses. Shocking. In fact, even by now, will never come to any satisfacto- not least the well-known Mr Hirst, but it success stories jam the shortlists, from tion for his part in the cinematic more appallingly, this is the prize to Cartoon from Daily Express, 1976 Gilbert and George to Emin, Hirst, piece, ‘The Long Road to Mazatlan’, promote British art, that in 2000 and 2000’s Wolfgang Tillmans. reeks of a tradition of publicity-gener- dared to publish a shortlist of 4, of The problem with the Turner is ating squabbles that centre around the which three were non-British that despite its having been for Turner Prize. artists. No wonder the xenophobes most of its short career an appalling 2000 Glenn Brown's The Loves of of British art were out in force to circus, its reputation still prevents it Shepherds was recognised as a near protest at last year’s admirably cos- from being taken seriously, not identical version of artist Anthony mopolitan selection. only as a competition but also as an Brown's cover for an obscure 1974 The Turner Prize, given its noto- exhibition. Those who want to see science fiction novel. riety is suprisingly only 17 years the latest success stories in British 1999 My Bed, Tracey Emin’s shrine old. Founded in 1984, it was a art look not to the Tate and Turner, to bad taste, complete with used response by the Tate to the rise of but to establishments such as the sheets and condoms – was colonised the Thatcherite government in Lisson, the Saatchi Gallery and the by two Chinese artists who 1979 and consequent cuts in ubiquitous White Cube. Last year announced intentions of performing museum funding, (so screams the the tabloids were at a loss with two "critical sex" on the work. Stuckist anti-anti-art group’s mani- highly accomplished artists in 1998 Chris Ofili's award-winning festo). Galleries and museums were Tillmans and Raedecker and work included dried, resin coated ele- pushed to look privately for fund- dammit, someone actually using phant dung. ing and thus reared the ugly head paint. Not one video. And this year 1997 Emin (again) and her memo- of publicity. The Turner Prize was the nominees are again surprisingly rable performance at the Channel 4 formed specifically to encourage good, Richard Billingham being a post-prize discussion, ended with a the promotion and collection of long overdue name on the shortlist. stormy exit announcing she had to go contemporary British art and for The Young British Artists are now and call her mother. outstanding work in the previous twelve ry conclusion. There will always be some- is not the Turner Prize alone that has been verging upon thirty and the Prize has 1995 Animal rights enthusiasts months. And so arrived the Young British one doing a variation on the soiled Emin behind such artists. It is here that we real- taken that necessary sedative. Sssh, dare I protested over winner Hirst's Mother Artist and all its controversial baggage. bed, casting dung onto a canvas or even ize that the major forces behind contem- say it, perhaps the Turner Prize may just and Child Divided, Even though Mr Saatchi may whine having a Damien-esque moment, let porary art in Britain and indeed contem- be showing an inkling of improvement. 1993 Rachel Whiteread's House from the depths of his glorified power sta- loose with some animals and a vat of porary art at an international level, are Twenty years on, Thatcher may yet give declared greatest work of art of the tion on the banks of the Thames that last formaldehyde to start the chatter once establishment dealers such as Mr Saatchi me something to smile about. year, also took the prize for worst year’s shortlist engages with contempo- again. And if not, well there’s always a and the more recent star Jay Jopling, the w work by K Foundation, presenting rary culture, or generates public discus- photographer lurking about the place that driving force behind the White Cube web www.tate.org.uk her with £40,000 anti-art prize. sion and interest in works of contempo- can provoke disapproving mumblings Gallery. Let us take last year’s nominees w And the nominations are… May Calil, Lucy Moore, Rachel Page and Vanessa Hodgkinson look into this year’s pick of British art

Richard Billingham Martin Creed Mike Nelson This Birmingham photographer first Creed once stated that his works are In the narrative written to accompany a exhibited in 1995 at Antony Reynolds concerned with “nothing in particular” , previous exhibition by Mike Nelson, Gallery, London. He then went on to an interesting and rather brave statement Jaki Irvine begins with ‘a man wakes up participate in the seminal Sensation for any artist to make. Creed is an artist sweating in an uneasy hybrid fiction’. exhibition at the RA in 1997 and won concerned with portraying frank The story begins in a changing room, in the Citibank Private Photography Prize and honest images of every day life. He which boxing gloves hang on racks and in the same year. Billingham is most does this by using objects such as an uncanny cartoon mask rests on the well known for the internationally doorstops, ceramic tiles and other floor. The space seems to have paused acclaimed series of photographs of his objects that one encounters on an every- between two action scenes. Any family, taken over a six year period, ini- day basis. His installations made using moment a mad boxer might burst in tially intended as the source material for balloons, Blu-tack and Sellotape have a shouting. There is a strong theatrical paintings. These photographs went on pure and clean aesthetic bringing quality to Nelson’s work. As the viewer to form the book and exhibition “Ray’s a him much critical acclaim. His passes from a corridor stacked with old Laugh”, which documents the lives of ‘making do’ mentality, has resulted in the Half the Air in a Given Space, 1998, video arcade games that take coins of an Untitled, 1996, Richard Billigham his parents in their council flat. The creation of some truly sublime works. Martin Creed unknown currency, into a room where photographs, intimately depicting Ray’s an American prom seems to have just alcoholism, his mothers’ obesity, and Issac Julien burst into, and out of existence, he feels their completely dysfunctional relation- disconcerted and confused as the distor- ship, naturally provoked criticism and Julien’s preoccupation is with the repre- tion of reality makes him uneasy. Nelson questions about class voyeurism con- sentation of race and masculinity in film. suggests that though we strive to find a cerning condescension, contempt and While his work is certainly considered firm base to our existence and cling to exploitation over the powerless subjects. avant garde, the artist uses film to familiarity, in fact the true nature of life Billingham is nominated for his contri- explore and subvert stereotypical por- is one of constant change. At the end of butions to The Sleep of Reason at the trayals of gay and black subjects. The the exhibition, in the last room, travel Norwich Gallery, Body Beautiful at the Long Road to Mazatlan is a triptych of books and art catalogues are arranged on Galerie Jennifer Flay in Nice, and his lush colour and layered imagery com- shelves next to the desk. It would have solo exhibition at the Ikon Gallery in bining cinematic references to Warhol’s been apt if one of those books had been June 2000. Billingham is a controver- Lonesome Cowboys, Hockney’s Swimmers Alice in Wonderland for her experience of sial photographer who has received very and Pools and De Niro’s performance as magic elixirs, mad hatters and illogical mixed reviews, but whether a winner or Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver. From the happenings is paralleled with the view- not, he will certainly benefit from the close-ups to the overlay of imagery, er’s experience of Nelson’s work. What phenomenal publicity generated around Julien makes the camera “not a witness he will inflict upon us at the Tate is any- the award. but an accomplice.” one’s guess. Portrait, 1999, Isaac Julien The Coral Reef, 2000, Mike Nelson 9 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSLITERATURE 19

LIT SHORTS Not (a) novel? Boring people Waterstone’s Norman Ross, author of Managing the Tim Stanley suspects it’s autobiography.... Richard Pearce de-hypes Travel Arrangements Planet – The Politics of the New Millenium, tells us how governments But Burns has the immaturity of a he superlatives that surround M. My problem is that Harrison seems to first came to agreements about interna- first writer, especially one trying to cap- John Harrison in both the press make the same point over and over. The tional environmental laws, and how ture an era without a story to commu- Trelease and inside jacket of Travel characters are naff, and not all that bright, these laws affect our everyday lives. nicate it through. The prose is some- Arrangements give the impression that this though quirky enough to make them Wednesday 14th November. 6.30-8pm. times clumsy. Figures of authority are will be the read of my life. For example: interesting to write about. This formula is £1 Ticket, redeemable against a copy of lampooned in a heavy-handed way: the “Grittier than Carey and wittier than played out oh-so ironically in ‘Old Ross’ book on the night. high school teacher Miss Hanratty is McEwan” (Times Literary Supplement). Women’, the first (and worst) story in the overblown and ridiculously violent, “the Impressive stuff, though it doesn’t tell you book. It’s about a writer who meets up Interested in serial killers or Johnny form-teacher sat down and took snorty very much about the book. If I were to with a more successful peer, who in turn is Depp? Join Stewart P Evans and Keith breaths and huffed and puffed and pitch it, I would steer away from such Skinner, who will be talking about their scratched herself.” Girls wheel round dizzy heights, if only for fear of falling. book Jack the Ripper – Letters from Hell, dead bodies in prams; British soldiers Travel Arrangements is clever and, while a collection of, yes, Jack the Ripper’s let- jeer and fondle the locals and the IRA the weirdness of an almost-cyber world ters, and their work on the forthcoming dispense a gruesome justice for the pet- has been done elsewhere (and I think bet- film on Jack, staring Depp, called From tiest of crimes. It’s heartless, callous ter) by writers like William Gibson, some Hell. Thursday 15th November. 6.30- stuff. Accurate for a heartless time per- of what faces you in this book is both orig- 8pm. £1 Ticket, redeemable against a haps, but Burns forgets that even in the inal and worthy. The bizarre “self-axing” of copy of the book on the night. midst of death a half-decent writer can a Soho couple (as a symbol of their love) is find life. juxtaposed with Harrison’s smart charac- Borders The central character, Amelia, is dis- terisation, showing that what must be the tant and two-dimensional. As we follow most extreme form of self-piercing cannot Creative Writing Group. Monday 12th hen I settled down to read her around Ulster we occasionally trip save a relationship from its inherent dull- November. 7pm. Free. No Bones I was looking for- over amusingly perverse anecdotes, such ness. And I would be doing Harrison a Wward to reading a book that as her bribing her way in to a Marks and disservice if I did not mention the excel- Open-Mic Poetry Night. Thursday wasn’t about a Catholic child growing Spencer, but we never come close to lent ‘The Horse of Iron and How We Can 15th November. 8pm. Free. up in the troubles in Northern Ireland. understanding her and what she feels. Know It’, a paranoid yet understated story Sadly, that’s exactly what Anna Burns Arguably, like Isherwood, writing in an chronicling the protagonist’s attempt to Heffers wants to tell us about. Ever since equally violent time and place, she is a journey through life and its meanings via a listening to a yuppie couple make conver- Truman Capote produced the first piece camera. If the metaphor is what Burns tarot-guided voyage of Britain’s railways. sation about The Times crossword and Brian Ryder, author of Beyond Realism, of journalistic fiction no one writes nov- intended then she only takes black and But understanding how Harrison gets it planning to use it as material for his writ- will be at Heffers Art Shop speaking els anymore; and Burns clearly has no white pictures. The girl matures and right in this story is in fact a way of under- ing. Yet the sad fact is that this observer, about this new book, and giving intention of doing so either. What fol- goes to live in London. Reading the standing why, overall, this book isn’t all it’s whom Harrison points out as missing the demonstrations. Saturday 10th lows is a vivid, minimalist and totally author’s biographical blurb, the thought cracked up to be. truly unusual in everyday life, is trying to November. 10.30-4pm. No ticket need- convincing reportage of the violent dawns that this is autobiography – the use the same kind of material written ed. Free. world of the 70s and 80s in the troubled lowest and most unbelievable form of about in these short stories. It’s true, a dis- province. Burns describes working class fiction. At the end the cast are reunited cussion of The Times crossword does not Cherry: The Life of Apsley Cherry- violence with a cheerfulness that bor- on a small island and sail off to an expose the interesting parts of life’s minu- Garrard, written by Sara Wheeler, is a ders on the unnerving, but it is not uncertain future. But by then the read- tiae for us, but neither do most of the new book about one of the youngest exactly uncharted territory. Youth wan- er would care little if the boat sank and events which Harrison himself uses. As I members of Scott’s last expedition. ders around Ulster disenchanted and on we never heard from any of them again. said before, he gets it right a few times, but Wheeler will be discussing the book and the dole, looking for kicks. When they British writers have brought us the more often than not I felt he was trying to giving a slide-show presentation. see Deerhunter, Russian Roulette comes most horrific and chilling reports of force eccentricity and interest into things Monday 12th November. 6-7.30pm. into vogue. At moments like these, some of the poorest and most desperate that have none. Sometimes, people are just Ticket required. Free. Burns demonstrates a certain skill in areas of our isle. But this is not novel- boring. Since everyone else has been putting across the happy senselessness ism. There is no depth, no heart, no name-dropping about Harrison, I would Cambridge Union of their lives – “On hearing Rab passion. Worse still, no subtlety. This is point to Irvine Welsh as the man who McCormick had shot himself, and in a described as a “punch in the stomach” writes better about the genuine dullness The big one...Heffers and the Union game – of all things – of Russian by the blurb. And yet there are many that can permeate life, and keeps his prose present a debate with novelist and jour- Roulette, the vigilantes were first of all other, infinitely more enjoyable ways, to interesting while doing it. When Harrison nalist Will Self. Tuesday 13th peeved and a bit sulky as to why no one destroy one’s liver than reading this got it right, it was a gem of a story, but this November. £5 Tickets through the had thought to invite them.” book. only really happened once. Union (01223-566-421). Well Thumbed: The Good Book? Imri Schattner-Ornan gives us a literary analysis of The Bible, and confirms that it’s definitely worth reading

riting a review of The Bible is continuous plot, but leaves a lot to be acters following a straightforward plot; For those who are ignorant (well, those make reading it more fun; it will also somewhat of a minefield; like- interpreted in different ways. Think, for but complex characters used by the nar- who aren’t fluent in ancient Hebrew), make it much easier. Wwise, reading The Bible is example, of the the importance of a Please don’t read it because it is ‘often somewhat of a minefield. Not only is it a character of King good translation can- quoted from’; you can only do that if very long book (364 pages in a standard David, who is not be understated. you are a sad English student. Do read Hebrew version, excluding the sequel, always oscillating Also, try to get your it because it has great stories, good not reviewed here), it is also confusing between approval hands on a good characters, lots of sex, incest, and gore, and repetitive. Maybe the best reason for and ridicule from Bible companion, irony and wit, political critique and not reading it is because some parts will various writers; or one that explains the fantasy. Most of all read it because it is bore anyone who is not a lawyer or a Samson, who is subtleties of every fun. high priest. There are many other good clearly liked very word, punctuation reasons why one should never glance in much by the writ- and misspelling. After the general direction of this book; an ers, but sometimes Photo: Southgate James all, every single important one to some is that it can be gives the impres- comma of this book viewed as being deeply ‘uncool’. Still, I sion of being a has been discussed for think it is a fine work, and one shouldn’t fool. It is these a good few centuries; surrender completely to fashion. inner conflicts and a sound model for The Bible was probably written over a paradoxes that those of us with high period of a few thousand years, in differ- make reading The inspirations and bad ent places by different writers. It goes Bible interesting. spelling. If you are without saying that each of these writers The reader is made looking for such a had a very specific agenda to stress and aware of the writ- guide, make sure it various points to make. This is probably ers’ intentions gives background for the reason that the book is so confusing. through their The Bible in Hebrew: but don’t worry, it’s also available in English the relevant period The canonised version of the book (done changing attitudes and continuing rators to make various points and criti- and a lot of context from other mytholo- in the early Middle Ages) gives a fairly debates. It is not a matter of simple char- cisms. gies. Such background will not only 9 November 2001 20 ARTSCLASSICAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A PREVIEWS Poignancy and Peace Friday 9 November Lunchtime Concert, Kettle’s Yard David Warren sees a rare production of Prokofiev’s epic opera at the ENO 1.10pm, free. rokofiev, composing in Stalinist of Stalinist Russia. Faced with a mob defi- Moreover, the frenzied potency of the Andrei the stale gentlemanly suitor, his Russia, had to submit his score of ant in the face of “two and ten European opening scene surely exposes the dan- father, sclerotic and snobbish, and the Saturday 10 November PWar and Peace for vetting by The nations” the audience are presented with a gers and fundamental falseness of this dissolute Anatoly appearing to enjoy an Fitzwilliam Museum Promenade Artistic Committee before it could be per- picture of the hallucinogenic compulsion blinkered patriotism. A comparison of incestuous relationship with his sister Concerts 2.30pm, free – Max de Vries formed. Changes had to be made and the of nationalism at its confrontational ugli- this scene with the production’s later rather more than his seduction of playing Marimba. piece soon became prime Stalinist propa- est: a rabble constrained by dreadful con- glowing treatment of the conduct of the Natasha. ganda. Prokofiev added an epigraph, structivist shapes, yet terrifyingly potent Russian army in 1812 and the response The decadent upper classes are not Organ Recital, King’s College exalting the resilience of Russia and as they, perhaps uncontrollably, boom out of the ordinary countrymen to the entirely written off though. Andrei’s – 6.30pm, free – Daniel Hyde plays Russians, sharpened the musical portrayal recounts of past national glories. What is burning of Moscow makes it explicit Simon Keenlyside’s, transformation Mozart, Bach and Dupré. of Kutuzov, the commander of the more, by moving the epigraph from its that Prokofiev wasn’t concerned with into a worthy and genuinely emotional Russian army, and most importantly he usual place – signifying the end of “peace” the kind of forced patriotism in the epi- being is particularly noticeable as his Bach B Minor Mass, Trinity monumentalised the opera by changing when Anatoly is forced to leave Moscow, graph. Rather he was trying to demon- initially rigid and unimaginative bari- Chapel 7.30pm, £8/6 – Ben its emphasis towards the patriotic and to the very start of the opera. Alberey cre- strate something deeper and yet more tone developed a touching and lyrical Woodward conducts in this per- heroic, and away from the personal and ates the impression that the remaining spontaneous: the sort of heartfelt senti- quality. Similarly, John Daszak – Pierre, formance on modern instruments of intimate. thirteen scenes of narrative, set in Russia’s ment that enabled two aristocrats, moved seamlessly into his ultimately Bach’s masterpiece. Featuring The director, Tim Alberey, immediately titanic struggle with the Napoleonic Pierre and Andrei, by enlisting in the heroic role as his bass became increas- soloists Elizabeth Weisberg, Helen makes obvious the larger purpose armies, will be exalted, and indeed cor- ranks, to be prepared to sacrifice their ingly resolute and decisive. So while the Deeming, Iestyn Davies, Andrew imposed on the composition by setting rupted by this nationalist hunger for a lives for their country. elites weren’t totally unworthy the point Tortise and Ronan Collett. The the epigraph in the machined degradation valiant and great History. Furthermore, thanks to the poignant was clear: both Pierre and Andrei could orchestra is led by Owen Cox and depiction of Moscow ablaze – enhanced only escape their inane aristocratic per- features a brass section from the by flames engulfing obscure figures on a sonas when they joined the plebeians in Royal Academy of Music. Tickets video screen, our sympathy is entirely Russia’s mighty struggle. are available from Trinity P’lodge. with the Russian people. Consequently, The director then, managed to mock the escaped prisoners bravely ambush- the Artistic Committee’s original inten- ing the retreating French column seem tion, while managing to remain faithful Britten@25 all the more heroic and Pierre’s mourn- to the patriotic heroism of Prokofiev’s ing of his friend Karatayev’s death final libretto. For this he deserves full New Cambridge Opera Group appears all the more moving. marks. And thanks to its skilful direc- begins the Britten@25 Festival with Of course, thanks to the Artistic tion this production is thoroughly first an opera double-bill. The Turn of Committee’s censorship the veneration rate. A must see for all music lovers, the Screw by Benjamin Britten and of the role of the People runs parallel to although latter day Stalinists might be a new work by Cheryl Frances- an exposition of a foppish and inert advised to stay away. Hoad, conducted by Matilda aristocracy. Here though, the director’s Hoffman. Performances take place attitude towards Andrei and his con- There are further productions on the at St. Edward’s Church, Peas Hill, temporaries seems to have been more 9,15,17,22,24 and 28 November at the 7.30pm – tickets £5 (Student complicated than a simple dismissal. ENO Standby) up to £12 available from Certainly, to begin with they are a two w the Corn Exchange. dimensional and debased bunch: web www.eno.org BW Natasha with her frivolous soprano, w ARTSMUSIC A PREVIEWS he more you think about it, Musical Necrophilia the more you realise that Cambridge is all about con- Alex Marshall dons a dapper white suit and rediscovers the art of crooning Ttradictions: we preach about Access for all, while the University repre- obbie! Christmas! Name two Xeroxing his new-found ‘idols’ – he’s suit and going out to commit adultery. sents centuries of unbridled elitism; other words that make 7-year English. No matter, he’ll just fake an You merely have to look at his stately we ponce along to formal hall in Rold girls and checkout assistants Italian-American accent (‘Well Did appearance to be filled with a perverse suits and gowns and then talk about called Sandra happier? Necrophilia! You Evah?’), or maybe do a Louis reverence, a feeling reinforced as soon how glad we are that we didn’t apply Indolence! Nice try, but no, although Armstrong impression (‘Mr as he opens his mouth it being as if the to Magdalene. Much of Cambridge they do describe Robbie’s current musi- Bojangles’), and no one will notice. entire Moulin Rouge has danced out of simply must be seen at all of the right cal output quite well. See, still haunt- This either represents new levels of it. With the cream of Discofied House, places, suppressing their natural ed by the Take That ghosts of laziness, racism, or a real-lack of self- Patrick Pulsinger and Mario desire to give money to middle-aged Christmas Past, Robbie’s now so des- confidence. Musical necrophilia, in my Neugebauer producing him, his new musicians and tragic reminders of perate to be recognised as a serious opinion is a crime, but given the state LP ‘Only Tonight’ conjures up those ‘80s pop ideals at their worst. Yes, I white musician and an international doesn’t agree with me, I’ll just have to times when “you pass the daytime in saw you all dancing to Chesney übermensch that he’s taken to raping the evening” and party in cosmopolitan Hawkes at the fireworks – I have the decaying back-catalogues of the Rat “raping the decay- four-to-the-floor luxuriance. His voice seen through your shallow lies. Pack for inspiration. It’s easy to see allows him to slip from the Barry Anyway… why he chose to re-record their stan- ing back-catalogues White-esque ‘Hoping’ (growling spo- The cool: LTJ Bukem does his dards for his new Christmas (well it is ken word intro, glissando strings, the d’n’b stuff at the Junction on November) LP, Swing When Your of the Rat Pack” melody off ‘Saturday’) to the fetish- Thursday, 10pm-2am, £6 in Winning. In the 50s the likes of club sleaze and shock wave bass of advance, £8 on the door. Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jnr and Tony hope Ol’ Blue Eyes resurrects himself ‘Grab My Shaft’ (refrain; ‘Grab My The young: The Electric Soft Bennett ruled the World with their to ‘cap’ Robbie for denigrating his Shaft / Blow My Horn / When its Hard Parade play the Boatrace on crooning voices, up-tempo swing and image. / In the Early Morn’). If Robbie tried Tuesday, £6 on the door. Mafioso connections. They had it all; But then Robbie’s merely indicative such material he’d only make it sound The ‘80s revivalists: Ominously hedonism that all men envied (popping of a general renaissance in crooning in camp. Monsieur Austen through his billed as “Mike Scott and several of open the champagne over some bikini- Europe. Coming out strongest, howev- soaring dulcet cries gives it an air of the original members of the band”, clad girls while on a yacht being a par- er, is a 57-year-old Viennese gentle- serious exuberance. He puts the charis- The Waterboys are coming to a ticularly resonant image); a suave, tai- man, Louis Austen. Probably a veteran ma back into club culture, while the Corn Exchange near you on lored look women swooned over; and of ‘Eurotrash,’ definitely a veteran of music will get you “taking it off, get- Monday. an enigmatic big-band sound which Las Vegas-style Butlins (where he sang ting close” as he wants. Buy his LP, mix The middle-aged: Everybody’s the critics lauded. Robbie’s idea then is alongside the likes of Al Green); Louis yourself a Manhattan, lie back and favourite mildy funky uncle, Jools if he does what they did he’ll get simi- is the type of man who likes to dine his dream of ‘the Life.’ If only Robbie had Holland, shakes his boogie-woogie lar results – although hanging out with wife in style, before putting on a white- just done that. thing at the Corn Exchange on Sinatra’s original but now 82 year-old Sunday. Tickets are £19.50. session musicians must be impinging Only Tonight (Kitty Yo!) is out now. Swing When you’re on the overall feel. One thing, howev- Winning (Chrysalis) is out on the 19th, if you must. Viscount Catchesides of Suffolk er, stands in Robbie’s way from i 9 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSMUSIC 21 DERANGED DISHEVELLED AND DESPERATE David Nowell Smith: Six By Seven at the Boatrace ock and Roll can be a cruel busi- cal influence: Spiritualized, Mercury Rev ness. Take Six By Seven, for exam- and Aphex Twin: “we wanna do what he’s Rple, who, with two glorious albums done: bring the understanding to the peo- and a live sound that kicks shit out of just ple”. about anyone else, are still yet to get com- And live they are awesome. In the van, mercial recognition, and the status their James was quiet, a bit too nice for the broody, minimal sound demands. James anger of the music, but onstage he and his (Keyboards): “Basically, we want to get our colleagues are something quite different. music through to as many people as possi- The Jeckyl and Hyde split, however, is no ble, but we can’t get onto any sort of stage persona. This passion is throbbing in playlist, because our music’s deemed too every note they play. Singer Chris Olley subversive, or something. But then again, mutters incoherent profanities, tears into they’ll play all types of nu-metal, which is some audience-baiting (“we’ll make your equally abrasive, and it’s difficult to know fucking ears fall off”), and in the surge of what’s going on.” The frustration that they noise that follows this threat, they endeav- aren’t being allowed to speak to an audi- our to make good this promise. Brutal, ence is what makes the music so vital. jagged, at times quite terrifying, they make “we’ll make your fucking ears fall off”

“The Closer You Get [their second music quite unlike anyone else right now, album] is an angry album. It’s a bleak propelled by tripped out drumbeats and a album… and I think the general tone of pulsating bass section, with a sweat-ridden the record was a sort of frustration and rock and roll monolith frontman flaying anger at the position we’re in. This new his guitar round, screaming into the (third) album’s taken on a more commer- microphone, dishevelled and deranged, cial edge”, he says, stressing their desire to desperate to be heard. When you hear Six be heard, “but at the same time it’s a very By Seven on record, they sound con- rocking album, a very intense album – strained by the studio, that they cannot get we’ve found a focus, come out with some any louder, as their music craves. Here great music together, more concise and there is no such problem. Confrontational full-on.” and as loud as you like, they hit with bar- With all this frustration with the music rage upon barrage of glorious noise. Now industry, do they see themselves as politi- lacking guitarist Sam Hempton’s effects cal? “Well, politically we’re on the outside. pedal (they’ve recently become a four- And musically. When Radiohead, or piece) their renditions of earlier songs are Primal Scream, make all kind of anti-this more heavy, reaching at a different strato- or that statements, they have reached a sphere from before. They leave the stage to commercial level so people will listen.” general astonishment and exhaustion. They associate themselves with other This is what music should be about. One Photos: Tom Catchesides bands through attitude rather than musi- day, they know, people will listen. I AM A DARKNESS ...Bonnie Prince Billy at Shepherds Bush Empire reviewed by Louisa Thomson

Andrew WK is clearly an ambitious Last week my parents were at a wed- ove. At its best, it can uplift you, – at times you feel as though it would be young fellow, aided only by a vast pro- ding. Oddly enough, it was a relation transform you, make everything in better not to see the person behind the duction budget and the papal [??] bless- of Jamiroquai’s bassist that was tying Lthe world fall into place, whilst you sound. Appearances can spoil the illusion. ing of the NME, he is single headedly the knot, so the whole band were dreamily float in the clouds above, secure You can’t imagine this man in bed with trying to resurrect the worst music milling around at the reception after about the most powerful of emotions that the women in his songs. The beady eyes genre of all time: LA Poodle Rock. the service, chatting to the guests and underlies and defines everything you do. are too penetrating, too frightening, mak- All WK’s songs are essentially the necking the champers. And after per- At its worst, it can leave you feeling lone- ing it too hard to believe he cares. same, irony free rehashes of Kiss, Van haps a few (twelve) glasses too many, lier than you’ve ever felt before, empty, If I had a glass of whiskey and a roll up Halen and Motley Crue, imploring us JK thought it would be a good idea to exhausted, bitter and revengeful. Love in my hands, I might feel more suited to to ‘Party until we puke.’ On the rare hand out free CDs (strictly for promo- always has a soundtrack - Bonnie Prince his universe. After all, hailing from occasions he strays from his hedonistic tional use of course) of the new single Billy may not be an obvious choice for Louisville, Kentucky, the country music manifesto it is to offer up a side order and album, as well as dishing out tick- of misogyny “You’ve gotta show her ets for their upcoming European tour. who’s the man.” Anyhow, my parents were happily “he looks like a skinny garden gnome” I Get Wet is undoubtedly one of the telling me about their brush with most the most unimaginative sterile fame,when the obvious question came this, but to me, this music articulates too tag is worn proudly, but with a totally dif- and witless albums of this year; seem- up: “So what did you bring back much. Careless love, not being able to ferent focus. I can ignore the shabby ingly cynically cobbled together by a then?” to which the reply came “Oh love, loving the wrong people, the bleak- sound, the unrehearsed backing band, multinational record company to nothing darling, we didn’t think you ness that engulfs you when it fades, when the songs that warble off key, because appeal to the deluded fantasies of hor- liked that sort of thing.” it is suddenly all over. each word hits me like a dead weight, monal 14 year old boys. To anyone Anyway, as you can imagine, once I’d I wouldn’t trust this man with my heart. knocking me sideways, winding me, so I outside this age group I Get Wet pos- dried my eyes, I informed the ’rents An awkward character on stage and can barely breathe in the smoky atmos- sesses all the subtly and appeal of being that the parental divorce papers were undoubtedly in person. He looks like a phere around the stage. I don’t want this repeatedly hit in the face with a lump in the post. skinny garden gnome, the end of the odd looking man to tell me how I feel. hammer. batch that got distorted in the production I’ve listened to his albums at high points, line. His face is hidden behind an alarm- low points, and they never give me hope. ing orange moustache and beard, and ‘Do you know how much I love you, in Andrew WK Jamiroquai when he sings, his mouth contorts into a the hope that somehow you can save me I Get Wet (Mercury) You Give Me Something (Sony) beak, teeth protruding, ready to attack or from this darkness’. Tears well up in my Out Now Out 12 November pounce on his prey. He hovers on a fine eyes and I have to leave, too poignant JIM HINKS CHRIS MORTON line between unorthodoxy and indecency tonight, too painful. 9 November 2001 22 ARTSTHEATRE www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A There’s pleasure in the pain Felicity Poulter gets in touch with her sadistic side and comes out loving what the Marquis de Sade has done to Marat both in the precariously suspended cur- is particularly mesmerising), and the tains that still expose action behind professionalism, (both of which we them and in the absent-mindedness of should take for granted) was the visual one of the inmates who continuously nature of the piece. Notably the presen- gets their words wrong and requires tation of the countless executions dur- increasingly agitated prompting by The ing the revolution; disturbingly demon- Herald (convincingly performed by strated by inmates wearing neutral Edward Redmayne and Emily Howes). masks, repeatedly falling through the So if you enjoy drama that does not dis- curtains, whilst an intermittent bang rupt theatrical conventions and allows suggested the action of the guillotine. you to quietly suspend your disbelief The graphic presentation of the birth of then this production is probably not for Marat is also something to look out for; you. it will definitely make you shuffle in But if you want to be thrown into an your seat if you haven’t started to experience that will attack all your sens- already. es and perhaps make you think, then If you take a trip to The Octagon this The Octagon is the place to be. Tom week (and I suggest you do) then don’t Wiggall’s original score is fantastic, har- expect to come away with a sense of mony and discord surrounding the conclusion; Sade admits he can “find no audience as the inmates indeterminate- ending to our play.” The inmates were ly wander in and out of the central oval forcibly ushered out of the arena, whilst space, sometimes even sitting next to the audience clapped nervously at the you or behind you as they contribute, empty space. But to be a good produc- (something that begins to become dis- tion it does not need resolution. Peter concerting). My one criticism would be Brook (who himself directed this play that the diction could have been better in 1964) said that a good play is one in these choral moments as it was often that “sends many...messages, often sev- ny play entitled The Persecution tic aprons, and “nurses” in modern uni- senting some episodes (written by Sade) difficult to hear clearly what was being eral at a time, often crowding, jostling, and Assassination of Marat as per- form ushered me and the other from the life and finally the murder of said, particularly when actors spoke overlapping... The intelligence, the feel- Aformed by the Inmates of the bemused spectators down to the Jean-Paul Marat at the end of the too. ings, the memory, the imagination are Asylum of Charenton under the direction “inmate”’ so that we could get used to French Revolution, a plot that creates a However, what is striking about this all stirred.” If you agree with him, as I of the Marquis de Sade is bound to be a each other before the performance. This platform for discussion about political production, other than the confident do, then this is a well-rounded produc- little unusual, and from the moment I was just the beginning of a theatrical fanaticism and the fickle nature of the acting (Charlotte Thompson as Corday tion, certainly not one for the sadist. entered The Octagon I knew I was in spectacle that is exactly what director mob. for an entirely new experience. The Alex Clay terms it: “Theatre of the The audience is always aware that the Marat/Sade is on at The Octagon, St. Chads signs reminding patrons to “turn off Senses”. actors are indeed inmates, and that we mobile phones” were written on behalf Peter Weiss’s Marat/Sade portrays the are in a constructed theatre. This i until Saturday 10th November at 7.45pm of the “clinic”, the ushers donned plas- inmates of the Charenton asylum pre- Brechtian emphasis comes through RENT RISES Pleasure tripping Sarah Brealey is turned on by Adam Rickett Tom Kibasi gets to work on some serious Hacking, and is ecstatic ave you been on one of those a hell: here, there was only relentless called Dawn. Her ability to take on the Alpha courses that are spring- saccharine. There’s even fake snow, role of a formidable Scouser was vital to Hing up like toadstools, offer- just in case you felt there was a cliché making the play a success. She was so ing faith and salvation, even to the missing. Yes, someone does die of convincing that I suspect there may be religiously reluctant? If not, never AIDS, but this is relegated to the some Scouse blood in her veins. She fear, for Rent offers much the same background while couples sing love managed not to descend into stereotype thing, only with better clothes. songs to each other. As I mentioned, but to construct a wholly believable Its ultimate vision is that salvation he comes back to life anyway. three-dimensional character. The other will come through group hugs, and There is, fortunately, a great deal of notable performance came from Charlie that everyone should be nice to one leather, latex and Lycra to compen- Rahtz playing Mick. He managed to another. It’s rather like that bit in sate. Mimi went down particularly carry off the role in a convincing and Anglican church services when you well with the audience, a fact not unassuming manner, and was perhaps have to shake everyone else’s hand to unconnected to the tightness of her the linchpin of the second act. show that peace is among you. A nice trousers, which she had apparently Upon opening, the second act almost idea, but really doesn’t mean very been sewn into. She could also sing descended into a comedy melée of much. extremely well, which cannot be said regional accents. On stage at one time Even if you are determined not to be for all the cast, who generally made were a Cockney, two Scousers, an converted, Rent will overwhelm you – up for it by sheer volume. I felt dis- Irishman and a man purporting to be if only by the decibel levels. At first it concertingly like someone’s gran, from the West Country (although I seems baffling, but suddenly you find longing to yell, “Turn it down!” Rent ware that it was a Mike Leigh play couldn’t be sure). I almost expected a directing duo of Liz Foote and Maya yourself smiling in spite of yourself is loosely based on La Bohème and I would be viewing, I entered Scotsman and a Welshman to pitch up at Mailer. However, the distance between and tapping your feet along to the aspires towards the condition of AChrist’s New Court theatre in the any moment. The act took the form of the stage and the first row of the audi- music. It even offers miracles to con- opera, with the result that it is less a knowledge that the title Ecstasy was an all night drinking session, centered, ence (some 12ft in a very small auditori- vert the unbelieving. For example, musical than a pop concert. There is meant to be ironic. Could this be anoth- amusingly and inexplicably, on Kaliber um) created a sense of detachment. We Mimi (Jane York) could still sing per- little real dialogue, just one song after er play about how life is tough when non-alcoholic beer (props manager could look upon the characters and feel fectly despite being supposedly half another against a background of some you’re poor? Could it be another play please take note). Much focus was placed pity but could not get of sense of what it frozen and too ill to even sit up. The spectacular visual effects. where very ordinary people doing very on Len (Ivo Stourton). In the play, Len’s would be like to be in their stead. I felt grand finale is, naturally, In most cases, Rent was clearly ordinary things were set up as a spectacle wife was supposed to have left him; like a voyeur peering through a window Resurrection, when the dead Angel preaching to the converted – teenage for middle class voyeurism? Alas, I was much more of him and I may have left on to the world of poverty. runs on stage during the penultimate girls and 50-somethings – who gos- not disappointed. The first scene opened the play. His performance was inert, The lesson that Mike Leigh wanted us song, to rapturous applause. siped about Adam Rickett and all but in a typically depressing bedsit. One by spiritless and soporific. Let’s just hope he to learn was that poverty confers little or Unlike Christianity, however, there threw their knickers on stage. Even I one the typically depressing characters was having a bad day. no life choices upon those subjected to is a curious absence of a plot. But thought Rent was slick, professional entered, engaging in typically depressing His performance was not, however, it. We at Cambridge do not suffer from what it lacked in structure it more and fun. But if I do decide I want to conversation. Whilst I had not expected due to poor direction. The set and the this problem and I am glad that I exer- than made up for in clichéd senti- find the meaning of life, I think I’ll go an all-singing, all-dancing cabaret extrav- interaction between the characters on cised my choice to watch Ecstasy. Go and mentality. At least Christianity offers to church instead. aganza (see Company! at the ADC this stage was excellent, a tribute to the see it, but don’t forget the Prozac. week), I was feeling depressed. Rent is on at the Corn Exchange Nevertheless, some rays of light pene- trated the dark cloud hanging over me. Ecstacy is on at New Court Theatre, Christ’s i until Saturday 10th November at 7.30pm The normally angelic Tara Hacking i until 10th November at 7.30pm became an angel of death from Liverpool 9 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSTHEATRE 23 Best company, worst Company Tim Stanley likes it when the pretty girls and even the lead man get undressed, but wasn’t so keen on the production great test of how good a musi- nightmare trying to set a play to lift bored indifference – as if her character cal is, is to try and whistle a music. I enjoyed it at the time, but as had been raised on the music of Atune from it after leaving the soon as I left the theatre I quickly for- Sondheim – and dominated the stage theatre. I could whistle Dusty got why. All I can remember is that in every scene she smoked through. Springfield’s Son of a Preacher Man the leading man took his top off at Francesca Lebens too gave an impres- and Kajagoogoo was floating around one point. sive performance in what was to be the in there somewhere, but Sondheim On the whole the fault doesn’t lie only amusing scene of the whole play was nowhere to be found. That was with the cast. Vicki Kruger as a taint- when leaving her husband at the altar. the problem with Company: it’s a ed divorcee struck a perfect note of But among the women my eyes were drawn inexorably to Becky Walker, a beautiful young actress who had such charisma and vitality that I felt obli- gated to stay awake whenever she was on stage. The leading male, Anthony bled Bertie Bassett. As she sung about ing actor marry or not is depressingly Harrison, was staggeringly attractive. the New York trains and buses one was out of date and utterly boring. He has to be seen to be believed. certainly reminded of stopping fast The one mistake Alex Warnock- Naturally he can’t hold a note to save and the brakes screeching very loudly. Smith made in his staging was in plac- his life, but the audience was full of The problem with Company is not ing a large clock on one of the walls of mothers of the cast who held their col- the cast: they were near perfect at the set. When Harrison isn’t half lective breath whenever he was on the times quite breath-taking. The staging naked it’s tempting to simply watch stage. Director Jessica Dawes had her was fabulous, the choreography stun- that instead of the action. head screwed on right when she ning and the band delightful. The Like the seams on Becky Walker’s assigned the two parts that undress on problem is the play. That it was writ- shirt this play was bursting with tal- stage to the two most attractive mem- ten in the seventies shows, though ent, desperate to get itself heard. I bers of the cast. They lusted their way theme and content are strangely want them all to do well and I want through Barcelona like a musical porn fifties. The plot is at best nostalgic and them all to run and run and run. Just video. naive. The question, should the lead- not in this show. Not all the members of the cast shone like Anthony Harrison’s thighs. Lucinda Perkoff didn’t fit the role of Company is on at the ADC until Saturday at tomboy Marta and in her thick black i 7.45pm and white stripped stockings resem- Not so funny...? LIFELESS x3 Jonathan Styles is disturbed by the joke telling at the ADC late show Jack Thorne tries to breath Life into reviewing Slightly random.” A comment over- from blacker elements, exploring the such admirable confidence and polish. ife x3 is Yasmina Reza’s most suc- Reza is attempting to show us the dif- heard leaving the ADC, after a per- "fine line between comedy and tragedy" Particular mention should go to the cen- cessful play since Art, it started at ference of the shared experience. And “formance of the late night show Jokes tended to get too close to crossing that tral comic quartet, Tom Basden, Susanna Lthe National, it persuaded Mark there is some enjoyment as an audience Aren't Funny. Not half an hour later, sit- line. It’s all well and good to strive against Hislop, Tamzin Paskins and Dan Stevens. Rylance back on to a stage that wasn’t to be found in trying to work out who ting at an Apple Mac and trying to draw the restrictions of political correctness, Given the terminal mediocrity of cur- The Globe, it’s made Reza a reasonable has the camera when, who stars in together my own slightly random but was I the only one to feel that some rent British comedy, it’s a fine thing to amount of money. The reason why it which scene. She never makes it obvi- impressions of the evening, I don't think subjects were just not within the realms come upon a production that really tries hasn’t made her as much money as Art is ous. it could be summed up better. of humour? Then again, maybe I would to invigorate some life into the old dog. that it’s not that funny. It does have The first scene is funny, almost like Jokes Aren't Funny begins on the prem- have been happy to laugh away if it Progress can’t be made without nudging slightly more interesting ideas, but it’s Art. But the characters aren’t very ise asserted in its title. What you get is an weren’t so public. Jokes Aren’t Funny has at boundaries and taking risks and Jokes not as funny as Art. So it hasn’t been as strong. And, when the distortion effects attempt to subvert the obvious and tired that disquieting edge that truly does Aren’t Funny must be commended for successful. And it’s not as good. of individual stardom start working the in comedy. The result is always bizarre, make you question what does and doesn’t doing just that. For this alone, the pro- Life is a dinner party. Dates got mud- play becomes less and less funny and less and often pretty unnerving. Even now, constitute comedy. duction should receive your support. dled so a married-clever-couple serve and less interesting. The second scene is I’m not sure if the American guy sitting Any failings of the show cannot be put And besides, it’s probably your only drinks and no food to nasty people the melancholy, and not very good. The behind me, shouting out comments and at the door of the actors, however, who chance to see Pav Akhtar sharing the husband thinks are important. We final scene is dull: an uninteresting per- laughing a little too loudly, was part of articulated the whole performance with stage with a Bunny Girl... watch the scene once, they munch on son tells us the same story for the third the production or not. I’m somewhat Wotsits and chocolate fingers, and we time in a tedious and unfunny way. more certain that a gorilla was sitting in laugh. Then we watch the entire scene Problems with the script are further the row in front. again. Then we watch the scene a third compounded by the production. However, it would be misleading to time. We see life three times. It’s not Friction between the original National give the impression that the show relies quite as dull as it sounds, and neither is production and this new rep production on purely surreal humour. Quirky as it it Groundhog Day. Each of the three creates unnecessary mess. I am sure the constantly is, there is a sort of logic incarnations are extremely different. It’s spaceship-style scene-changing light and underpinning much of the show and this still a dinner party, the same people are sound effects would work well in the tended to produce the stronger material. present, the same events happen, but high-budget National Theatre. Here it Nobody, I’m sure, failed to smirk during everything else changes. Reactions are just looks odd. the acoustic guitar ballad describing the changed, personalities are changed, facts Reza needs to be clever. She is afraid of eating of Prime Minister Blair’s children are changed, the flavour of the Wotsits her mind not being noticed. She is upset as a necessary outcome of tuition fees. are changed, the amount of chocolate when people laugh at her plays because Then, tying in with the show’s overall fingers in the box are changed, the out- she feels they are ignoring her intellect. theme, a standup comedian emerges come is changed. She doesn’t serve the characters, or the from a coffin to have the audience The three scenes we watch in Life x 3 play, or the audience, she serves some- encouraged to pelt him with fruit by are about three different individuals thing else that she needs to impress and another irate actor. picking up the camera and being the she does this through the idea. But I’ve Inevitably, some sketches were not so star of their own film. They make the now told you the idea, so why go to the successful. One other soundbite given by tragedy of the play personal to them, show? The problem with ideas is that a (real) audience member after the per- they even inflict more tragedy upon they are not plays. Ideas can be formance went along the lines of "too themselves, and to accommodate that explained on paper. Plays have life many cock jokes" and there certainly was they change the flavour of what hap- which has to be seen on stage. Life x 3 something of a preoccupation with the pened, and so we see a different play. was dead. usual, exhausted bodily functions. This is particularly disappointing given the play’s intended antithetical relationship to the Jokes Aren’t Funny is on at the ADC until Life x3 is on at the Arts Theatre until Saturday staple of contemporary comedy. i Saturday at 11.00pm i at 7.45, and also at 2.30pm Saturday Those sketches that drew their humour 9 November 2001 24 ARTSFILM www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A Thomas Katz comes to life Kate McNaughton listens to the Oxford graduate, responsible for the most surreal film of the year limbing up the steps to the into the Royal College of Art to do their slow, very majestic pacing and gradual ry people like Ian Holme and Rutger crazy. I suppose the whole process took BAFTA cafe on Piccadilly, in a film course. Which now sadly is closed tracking shots, and very luminous close- Hauer in it, and cost three million about three or four years. So a lot of what Cvery hung over state (friend’s down, which is an outrage, but like most ups: a very beautiful style of filmmaking, pounds which is quite a lot for a first is said by the characters was improvised housewarming the night before…), I outrages no-one seems to do anything but quite classical. If you don’t like it then film. And Thomas Katz, which I shot by Tom in one of these sessions. Some of suddenly feel apprehensive: I mean, I’m about it. you’d say turgid, staid, and stuff like pretty much back-to-back with Simon it is written by me. And some of it is about to interview a real, live film direc- But that’s indicative of the lack of that… But very old school, very old-fash- Magus, was quite the opposite: it cost improvised in front of the camera actual- tor… Luckily, Ben Hopkins is, if any- esteem in which film is held in this coun- ioned in a way. I suppose by the time that £400,000, and was shot on 16mm and ly on the day of shooting. So there’s a fair thing, about as shy (or as hung over?) as try. It’s just ignored as an art form. Even I’d finished Simon Magus I didn’t want to video, and edited in my spare room... I bit of actual improvisation. Some of it I am, so my nerves soon settle. We begin the industry itself is much more keen do that anymore. Thomas Katz is a com- did that with Thomas Katz because I ended up on the cutting room. with a bit of background: towards the American concepts of mon- pendium of different film styles: silent knew that the only way I would have KM: So, what’s it like being a young Ben Hopkins: I did German and eymaking and so on rather than its art. film, up to the MTV pop promo, and that kind of artistic freedom was to keep film director in Britain? Italian at Oxford, 87 to 91, and I was a Anyway, I was lucky enough to be there was mainly for fun, even though there are it cheap. BH: It’s not so bad for me in that I’m schoolteacher until a couple of years ago, when it was open. Luckily my gradua- the darker depths of it. If you want to KM: And you’d written the script with very glad that I did languages. I’m much which is a good job for making short tion film was one of the most successful find them, they’re there, but basically it’s someone else? more capable of crossing borders. In films because you get some holidays… I short films of the ‘90s and got me a lot of meant to be a very silly film. It’s just BH: I wrote it with the actor - his real fact, with a couple of my projects I’m lived a very frugal life and saved all my recognition, and fairly quickly after that meant to be entertaining, and aimed at a name is Thomas Browne, which is his not even bothering to look for money in money up for the summer holidays when I did my first feature film, called Simon slightly stoned, maybe drunk, studenty writing name, and his stage name is Britain, it’s just not worth my while. The I would spend it on making short films. Magus, which is very different from audience. That’s the ideal public for it. Thomas Fisher. I met Tom at Oxford, he projects I do have in Britain are tied up Kate McNaughton: Did you have any Thomas Katz. KM: So how did that project come acted in one of my plays and we kept in in the usual farce of so-called develop- kind of training? Simon Magus was the pinnacle of a per- about? touch. We had a very similar sense of ment here, so I take a very dim view of BH: No. At Oxford I was a big name sonal style that I’d been developing BH: Simon Magus was, again, a much humour, and I said to him that I wanted the British industry as it is at the so to speak on the student theatre circuit. through my short films, which was a more conventional film, with fairly star- to do a film that used his plastic abilities moment. But luckily I don’t need to be I thought I would try making a film on to become other people. He doesn’t in it all the time. But if I was trying to video and it was dreadful! It was really become other people in the way a be a British director and make the next crap… I was already very interested in method actor becomes other people, he Full Monty, my response would be very cinema, and I was very frustrated that retains his Tom-ness, whilst also becom- different. Most people haven’t heard of even though my theatre direction imme- ing other people, which is ideal for the me, I’m very much operating on the diately worked out very nicely and I won film. And I’d just invented this title, The fringes of the British film industry in a lot of awards, and even though I con- Nine Lives of Thomas Katz, because it general. I don’t really fit in. I never have. sidered I knew quite a lot about film, I sounded funny, and then we had to I’ve always been eccentric in its correct just obviously had no idea how to put decide who these nine characters were, etymological meaning: outside of the the film together. So I took the greater and we did that through a process of centre. I’ve always, as from a kid challenge and got rid of the theatre side improvisation, getting drunk… And onwards, been a person who defines and just concentrated on film. But I was then once we had the nine characters we themselves by being different, so I think not a natural filmmaker at all, it was had to decide on some kind of story, and even if Thomas Katz became the norm, I something I had to learn over a period of The nine lives of Thomas Katz that took a little while… As you’ve seen would go and make Armageddon - that’s years, and I did 5 short films before I got the story we came up with was pretty me, I think… 9 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSFILM 25 The boys, beaches and beats FILM FOCUS: Tom Armitage, Josh Perry, Mark Richards, Tom Smith, Antony Leyton-Thomas, Naomi Leon and Chris Turtle At the Union writer Reinaldo Arenas from his child- Seven Samurai hood poverty in pre-revolutionary Holguin, through his persecution under A Streetcar named 13 Nov, 8pm, Corpus Castro’s regime and bittersweet exile to Desire America in 1980. Schnabel’s artistic flair Kirosawa’s epic Sixteenth Century tale of is imprinted all over the film’s direction; it 12 Nov, 9pm rural warfare has long been considered one is visually stunning, evoking the hard- of the all-time greats. A lengthy running edged colours, and often bitter taste of Vivien Leigh plays Blanche Dubois, an time of 160 minutes might seem surpris- life, in communist Cuba. Soulful ageing southern belle, forced to move in ing given the apparent simplicity of the Spaniard Javier Bardem (Jamon Jamon) with her sister Stella after being plot: an impoverished village hires a group really inhabits the role of Arenas, with a drummed out of her own home town of Samurai to help defend itself against the raw grace and incredible sensitivity, and for dallying with a seventeen year old. marauding bandits who invade and steal Sean Penn and Johnny Depp make However, sparks soon fly between fragile their harvest each year. Yet it is far more unlikely cameo appearances. Highly rec- Blanche and her bear-like brother in law than a generic ‘Eastern Western’. ommended. (Marlon Brando), forcing Stella to Employing what Kurosawa describes as a NL choose with whom her allegiances really “tapestry” storyline, the focus fluctuates lie. The film never really escapes its ori- between Toshiro Mifune’s sparkling cen- gins as a stage play but Brando's career- tral performance as the complex Samurai- The Piano defining performance as Stella's brutal, wannabe Kikuchiyo and the tension in 15 Nov, 10pm, Christ’s sweating, sinewy husband, makes it A Hard Day’s night relations between the Samurai and the vil- essential viewing. lagers, before culminating in a dazzling, CT one hour battle scene. It’s a great film with The Piano was one of those films that College Films El Mariachi an endearing soundtrack, but make sure ambushed the Oscars and walked away This week at the you’re sitting comfortably… with most of the awards; a film that was Arts Picture House 9 Nov, 10.30pm Amores Peros JP released at the right time to an Academy looking to bolster their intellectual Robert Rodriguez shows just what you 11 Nov, 7.00 & 10.30pm, John’s standing. It’s alright; the acting – from A Hard Day’s Night can do with $7,000, a load of friends, Before Night Falls Sam Neill, Holly Hunter, and Harvey and a couple of machine guns borrowed Or, in English, ‘Love’s a Bitch’, Keitel – is as expected; the ideas are 9 Nov, 10.40pm from the police. El Mariachi is a low- Alejandro González Inarritu debuted 15 Nov, 9pm, John’s interesting; and the Nyman score is suit- budget legend: a movie shot on the direc- last year with this scorching Spanish ably memorable, but there is something Starring four likely lads from tor’s credit card that won awards at triptych. The tagline was “Love. Director Julian Schnabel (Basquait) seems missing. It all seems a little too much of Liverpool; John, Paul, George and Sundance and shot Rodriguez into the Betrayal. Death.” And there’s really no to specialize in biopics about individuals a period piece, a smaller film from a left- Ringo (they were quite big in the Hollywood spotlight. Despite its remake better way of summing it up. This film who don’t fit into their native societies field director that got the right backing Sixties, apparently); A Hard Day’s Night (as Desperado) and Rodriguez’s subse- proved that Tarantino isn’t the only and who are compelled by an urge to cre- and was thrust into a spotlight too is a slice of pure pop escapism. Okay, so quent hits, this is definitely still worth a director who can make music with ate. His latest offering, Before Night Falls, bright for it. there isn’t really much of a story to watch - it shows that budget can’t hide interlocking vignettes, taking as its sub- charts the life of the homosexual Cuban MR speak of – the film basically follows the talent. A simple tale, of a traveling musi- ject the misadventures of three inhabi- Fab Four through a series of skits in cian who gets confused with an assassin tants of Mexico City. There are some which they flee hordes of screaming who carries his guns in a guitar case, El astonishingly violent dog fighting girls, give sarcastic interviews and gen- Mariachi places its emphasis firmly on scenes, but it’s through these that this erally lark about. What holds it all action. There are some great action sensitive, blackly funny, thoughtful film together is not just the belting pop sequences, some strong acting from its makes its point. See it. Now. tunes and ladish charisma of its stars amateur cast, but it’s Rodrgiuez who’s the ALT (especially George), but director star: he’s created a humorous script, Richard Lester’s freewheeling, continu- strong direction and editing that is noth- ously inventive style. Stealing a whole ing less than dynamite. El Mariachi man- North by Northwest host of cinematic tricks from the ages, on a fraction of a major film’s budg- French New Wave, the film’s restless et, what so many other movies lack: fun. 11 & 12 Nov, 9pm,Trinity exuberance is utterly infectious. It’s a riot from start to finish, and as such, Whether you’re a screaming Beatles fan essential for anyone interested in any Roger Thornhill is a wanted man. For or not, this movie is truly ace. aspect of filmmaking. Inspirational. starters, mysterious criminals are after TS TA him, and then to make matters worse, the police join the chase when he is North by Northwest framed for murder. With nowhere to Singin’ in the Rain turn, he has to run for his life whilst simultaneously attempting to prove his 13 Nov, 9.15pm innocence. However, it would be a shame to reveal any more, given that It shouldn’t work. It really shouldn’t. But much of the pleasure in watching it does. With knobs on. Co-directed by Hitchcock’s tale of mistaken identity and starring the prolific Gene Kelly, this derives from not knowing what will hap- film ranks deservedly highly among pen next. All his usual directorial trade- Hollywood’s great glories of yesteryear. marks are on display: the smooth talking A catchy score, some stunning choreog- lead (Cary Grant as Thornhill); the raphy, and some impeccably timed breathtaking blonde (Eva Marie Saint); screen comedy from Donald O’Connor, the directorial cameo… Yet the main combine to create a shamelessly fun tale attraction is the utterly compelling and of the rise of the ‘talkie’ in cinema. It’s unpredictable plot. Thornhill’s words on about as profound as a packet of corn- first being kidnapped are emblematic of flakes, but it’s timeless, and still worth the whole film: “Don’t tell me where watching we’re going, surprise me.” Seven Samurai ALT JP

o be honest, dear reader, The souls and bodies. As he goes through To try and even describe its plot, how- humour, and its brilliant filming of The nine lives of Nine Lives of Thomas Katz is these nine lives (taxi driver, Minister of ever, hardly does justice to what is prob- London as a city. Thomas Fisher, as the Tpretty much an impossible film Fish, tube controller…), he wreaks ably one of the most original and gen- eponymous (anti-)hero, is incredibly to review. Go and see it for yourself, and increasing havoc on the city of London, uinely off-the-wall films ever made. versatile and funny, and surrounded by Thomas Katz you will understand what I mean. Since and begins to seem very close to bringing Think Monty Python or Surrealism, and an excellent cast of weird and wonder- these are the august pages of Varsity, about a strange kind of apocalypse. The then think something completely dif- ful characters. This is independent cin- Director: Ben Hopkins however, I must make an attempt. only person who might be able to stop ferent. The film is a masterful collage of ema at its best: different, inventive, and Starring: Thomas Fisher The film opens with a somewhat oddly him is the blind, psychic Chief of different styles, from silent movie to vibrant. This is what the Arts Picture Certificate 15 dressed man waving down a taxi on the Metropolitan police. As the latter puts it, MTV video through to Fritz Lang. House should be screening all the time. Running time: 87 minutes M25. He has just crawled out of the “Little do they know that London is a Nevertheless, it still retains a very dis- As I said at the beginning of this review, UK/Germany 2000 sewer, and soon reveals himself to have city built on a mystic network. London is tinctive overarching feel, mainly just go and see it. Showing at Arts Picture House the unusual power of taking over people’s full of forces we know nothing about.” achieved through its very weird sense of Kate McNaughton 9 November 2001 26 SPORT www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

Rowing The University Fours races were raced SPORTS last week over Monday to Thursday afternoons. Eventual winners of the men’s 1st coxed division were Christ’s 1, whose second boat was beaten by FLYING HIGH SHORTS Emmanuel 2 to win the final of the challenged for the first two positions, The strength in depth of the second division. Of the few entries to Cross Country opening out a huge lead over the rest of Cambridge athletes was also clear from men’s coxless fours, LMBC came out the field. The team was completed by the start, as Cambridge vests well out- Women’s football on top after a no-show from 1st & Ellen Leggate notable performances from Nicky numbered those of the RAF and The Blues found sweet revenge with 3rd in the final. Winning women’s McDougal (Downing) and Claire Eastern Counties. With only three a 5-0 league win over Watford last four was Jesus 1, and winners of the Cambridge University Cross-Country Willer (Robinson), who battled hard weeks to go before the second, third, Sunday. Though Christina Atchison women’s second division were Caius Club, the Hare & Hounds, was once against a strong contingent of RAF and fourth and fifth teams race off against started the scoring just after halftime 2. Generally, the standard of rowing again in fine form this weekend as the Eastern Counties runners. The team their Oxford rivals in the Varsity following a quality pass from Sarah was typical of the time of year, with runners took on teams from the RAF finished in second place overall but just Match, Cambridge seem to be hitting Ambrose, Mandy Wainwright led all most races being won or lost by large and the Eastern Counties on a fast- two points down from the event win- unassailable form. scorers with three goals and margins, even in the shorter side by running course in Huntingdon. ners, the Eastern Counties. Charlotte Cope tipped in another side women’s races. Cambridge athletes were individual from a Susan Rea free kick. Charlie Ford victors in both the men’s and women’s Cambridge will play again this com- competitions and took the men’s team ing Sunday at Fenners, 2:00pm KO, Football event, while just narrowly being beat- against Stafford Rangers in the The Blues continued their impressive en into second in the women’s team Second Round of the Women’s FA start to the BUSA campaign last competition. Cup. Supporters always welcome. week beating Nottingham Trent by On a fast course over flat parkland, Susan Rea six goals to one. Notts were previ- track specialist fresher Rowan Hooper ously unbeaten but on the back of (St. Edmund’s) led in the men’s race, Basketball his previous BUSA clutch of goals running in a controlled and confident Though the first division had a week- (five vs APU in a 7–1 victory), manner, powering away from his near- end off, the University basketball Glamocak took four with Warburton est Eastern Counties rival on the last leagues continued this week with a and Dimmock scoring the fifth and of a four lap race. Fresher James full set of fixtures. The results were : sixth respectively. Mason (Selwyn) was second scorer for Tom Warburton the Cambridge team, finishing with a Division 2: blistering last lap to bring him home Hughes – Corpus 20-0 (W/O) in fourth place, just ahead of fellow Pembroke – Christs 42-20 Women’s Hockey Cambridge runners Andy Baddeley Tit Hall – Wolfson 71-51 The Blues suffered a futile trip to (Caius), Matt Robinson (Hughes Jesus – Robinson 58-22 Cardiff this week, losing to UWIC. Hall), captain Darren Talbot (Darwin) Despite first half pressure, the score and Ben Davies (Trinity Hall). The Division 3: was 1-1 at half time. The Blues final result placed Cambridge as first Kings – Clare 41-21 enjoyed many chances but some con- team, the first victory over the RAF Catz – Peterhouse 31-30 troversial refereeing eventually led to and Eastern Counties since 1995. Downing – Magdalene 36-25 a 3-2 defeat at the hands of the In the women’s event, Cambridge Selwyn – Sidney 54-47 Welsh. runners Ellen Leggate (Peterhouse) and Zenon Severis Katie de Wit Julia Bleasdale (Pembroke) were never

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CHRISTMAS AND PARTY MENUS AVAILABLE 9 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk SPORT 27 BUSA joy Nottingham spiked

Women’s squash out much of a fight. This year numbers Volleyball Cambridge to 19-9, and a series of side- from Ken Kato gave the scoreline a com- 1 and 2 for UWIC again proved far too outs ended the set. fortable look behind great digging from strong for the girls to make much of an The same unit began game two, and libero Zuev. Mathias Klaeui debuted in Sian Lewis 3 Cambridge impression, though games were won by 0 Nottingham more probing serves from Reynolds place of Dan Roy, and marked his return Kelly Conn at 3 and by Nicky Dee at 4 gained Cambridge a 5-0 advantage. A bal- to the side immediately by crushing a line The first round of the BUSA Premier with Lizzy McCosh also unsettling her Richard White anced Cambridge offence, with Escott kill off the shoulder of the helpless League Squash Tournament took place opponent at 5. and Kato particularly effective, looked defender. Cambridge wrapped up the set in Exeter on 27th and 28th October. The two victories on Saturday mean Cambridge’s male volleyballers opened likely to win another set easily at 17-12. 25-19 to take the match. This tournament, which runs in two the team finished second overall, one their account for the season with a con- However the Light Blues then became The Cambridge coach reflected after the parts, is made up of those university place better than in the same competi- vincing sweep of Nottingham in a match unnecessarily sloppy, conceding points to game: “This was by no means a great per- teams who finished in the last eight the tion last year. Cambridge thus progress which was over in less than one hour’s off-speed and gentle roll shots which they formance, but the whole team is happy to previous year. Having finished joint to the higher division of the Premier playing time. The game was the second of had hitherto defended without alarm. have recorded a win, particularly after last third in March 2001, Cambridge League for the competition at the ten qualifying matches which the Light Despite the coach using both time-outs week’s disappointment. Our blocking was women are keen to repeat their BUSA beginning of December in Blues must play in order to qualify for the and bringing in Christoph Sele for much improved and the team looks to be success this season. Birmingham. The format here is again last sixteen knockout round of the BUSA Ramasse to strengthen the passing, some starting to gel. Anthony Reynolds ran the Playing in the southern division of a round robin of four teams and, on the championships. strong spin serving from Nottingham’s team well, and his understanding with the tournament, Cambridge were to basis of this, seeding positions will be After an eventful journey which seemed Anderson gave his side set points at 24- Dan Roy is already impressive; once we face Exeter and Surrey on the Saturday established for when the Premier to take in most of the sports venues in and 22. But good serving from Jacquet and get our setters using the one-tempo opti- and the formidable UWIC Academy of League teams meet the Merit League around Nottingham, Cambridge finally two outstanding diving saves from Kato mally we’ll be pretty hard to stop.” Squash on the Sunday. With five girls teams in the knock-out rounds next arrived at the University Sports Centre drew Cambridge back to parity, and then Dan Roy again headed all scorers with on each team the matches are arranged term. with a team depleted by unavailability to victory 26-24. 22 points, followed by Dan Escott with with numbers 5 and 4 first, followed by (Pierre Briguet-Lamarre, Chris Thornton, Game three began with Nottingham ten. Cambridge’s next match is a home 1, 3 and then 2. This means that in a Andy Lynn, Soren Koeppe) and injury looking the more focused team, and tak- fixture against Birmingham on close contest all will not depend upon (Rich Weinberg). However Japanese out- ing a 9-6 advantage before Cambridge Wednesday November 7th at Linton the first string match. Thankfully the side attacker Ken Kato was available for came back to tie the score at 16. Sele again Village College. match against Exeter was won fairly his first match for the Light Blues, and the replaced Ramasse, and a run of five serves comfortably 4-1, with 3-0 victories at Cambridge coach gave him a debut 2, 4 and 5. Newcomer to the team alongside captain Quentin Ramasse. Dan Lorraine Jones, finished the match Escott and Jean Jacquet played middle without dropping a point against an blocker with Anthony Reynolds at the experienced Exeter player. plate and Dan Roy opposite. Denis Zuev Surrey proved far easier competition; again took on the libero position. the close 3-2 matches fought by num- Preliminary discussions with bers 1 and 3 in the morning against Nottingham’s star hitter Chris Anderson Exeter did not repeat themselves in the revealed that the home side felt them- afternoon. Surrey were easily dis- selves to be stronger than the previous patched and the team got a good year’s team. The early exchanges seemed night’s sleep before meeting the Welsh to bear this out, as Cambridge opposite university in the morning. Roy was resoundingly blocked on his first Cambridge met UWIC at the same attack. However he responded superbly, competition last year in Cardiff. With going to the line with the ball and taking former number one Wendy Hiscox, a the Light Blues to 9-3 with his jump senior county player, then on the team, serve. As the Nottingham setter struggled Cambridge managed one victory with his distribution to the outside, against UWIC but lost the others with- Photo: Rowan Huppert another run of serves from Reynolds drew Welsh leeky Water warfare Rugby Union The visitors certainly had more to Water polo resulting in a bloodied lip and a bruised elbow, he followed through with a punch offer, as the opening exchanges and jaw. While this offence went unpunished, that broke the Cambridge player’s nose. 46 Cambridge later threatening moments showed. 9 Cambridge the ULU number 12 was ejected (sent As White floated, dazed, shipping blood 18 Crawshay’s Conceding an early penalty didn’t help 2 ULU (match abandoned) off) for punching Cambridge’s Hickman from the open wound in his face, the their cause, but some of the most in the head. other players quickly gathered around Hilary Weale exciting instances during the match Alex Starling As the fighting got worse, the Water and the situation became highly unstable, were caused by the sheer pace and elu- Polo continued as a bit of a side show. with some players having to be restrained Crawshay’s celebrated their first pre- siveness of their right wing Karl Rees. Innocent bystanders who happened to be Cambridge resisted being brought down from turning the incident into all out Varsity Match visit by taking a 13-0 Though the pass after one such run at the University of London Union to their level and extended their lead to 7- warfare. lead within the first 23 minutes, two failed to go to hand, the try soon after, (ULU) pool at the weekend might well 2 by the end of the third quarter with fine The referee had no option but to call penalties and a conversion by stand- by blindside Dan McShane, had have mistaken this first away fixture for goals from Fuller, White and Wiseman. off the rest of the game. Despite this, it off Stuart Lawrence and a try by for- appeared inevitable. Crawshay’s also the Blues for a different sport altogether, Cambridge were now completely in con- was a good result for Cambridge, who mer international Neil Boobyer. upped the tenacity of their defence, or even an illegal code of an ultimate trol of the Water Polo, although with an coped very well in difficult circum- Consisting almost entirely of Welsh and a steady drizzle put paid to sever- combat discipline. As it was, several of ever increasing number of battle scars. stances, scoring some great goals and Premier Division players, Crawshay’s al expansive Cambridge moves as the the London players had probably misread Despite repeated warnings to keep a lid refusing to lower themselves to the level deft passing and pace caused early ball became greasy. A lapse in disci- ‘ULU’ for ‘ZULU’ and took it upon on their tempers (the match, after all, of their opposition. Captain (and vet) problems for the Blues but they soon pline saw more penalties go themselves to act as though of the warrior being a ‘friendly’), two further Fuller was typically concise: “We played regrouped. Finding themselves in the Crawshay’s way, but to the Blues’ cred- tribe. Cambridge goals (scored by Hickman well. I’m off to inject some cows.” BUSA opposition’s half, patient recycling it they conceded no more points, and Despite fielding new players, and debutant Scott) made ULU’s first round takes place in Warwick in eventually opened a gap that centre instead reasserted themselves with sen- Cambridge, last season’s BUSA finalists, Russian number six completely lose the December: the Blues will be hoping to go Marco Rivaro cut, passing to Ali sible kicks for territory. That they were were expecting to win this fixture. Full plot after being humiliated by triple-half through to the quarter finals despite Newmarch for the try. This galvinised able to do so also says a lot about their Blue and 1996 captain Matt ‘Bloater’ blue Gavin White’s strong defence. being in a tough group that contains the Blues’ efforts, and for the remain- fitness. Wiseman, back in the team after a time Catching White deliberately with his three of last year’s top four teams. der of the second quarter they starved Nor did they relax their attacking in the corporate wilderness, got the Welshmen of possession and terri- efforts. On 66 minutes, replacement Cambridge off to a great start, tearing tory, demonstrating an impressive scrum-half Mark Chapman-Smith into the ULU defence, his quick hands level of discipline. Two penalty line- touched down after a storming charge allowing current captain Russ Fuller to outs in the left-hand corner both led by Rivaro down the left flank. The humiliate their ‘keeper at his near post. to tries from the subsequent rolling game by now beyond them, Further goals from Scales, Tausig and mauls, the first for captain and no. 8 Crawshay’s were determined to score Fuller again allowed Cambridge to race Mike Count, and the second to James again, but instead Cambridge broke into a 4-0 lead. Johnson, each converted by Simon upfield with the ball and Ed Mallett Unable to make any inroads into Amor. Minutes later, a scintillating eventually scored. Similar circum- Cambridge by playing Water Polo, some run from halfway by winger James stances led to a true breakaway try by members of the ULU team attempted to Baker severed Crawshay’s defence Baker, who outstripped his pursuers swing things their way with a few flailing again, giving the Blues a 24-13 half- and sidestepped the covering scrum- fists. Robinson’s Billy Gomersall was time lead that they well deserved. half to score under the posts. punched repeatedly by a ULU player, TRACTOR BOYS PLOUGHED UP

Photo: Catherine Harrison

Hockey Cambridge could not circumvent the With twenty minutes played, Lady Luck that Gareth Kenny stepped forward with be saved until the amiable Ali Arshad Ipswich midfield, continually finding and seemingly snubbed the students as a mere ten minutes remaining. The Kiwi’s guided it over the flailing farmer. The 2 Cambridge running into opposition sticks. Yet the Ipswich finally broke the deadlock with crunch ball released Stevie Sweet whose umpires brought down the curtain on a Ipswich inbreds were devoid of any inven- fluke rather than flair. A speculative hit sauntering run resulted in another penalty match that had all the markings of a 1 Ipswich & ES tion in attack, as their strikers persisted from Ipswich’s right-winger, Jethro Tull, corner. With Paul Bevan on the subs crowd pleaser. with insular patterns and rarely tested the found a foot that finally undid the Blues bench, Rusty Abel stepped up to push out Ian McClive was quick to give credit Jenny Taylor might of Mark Celenk in goal. The Blues imperial defence and fell to a fortunate the ball. Abel proved his worth as a pow- where it was due and commented, “The began to vent their vexation as Captain forward to score from a yard out. With erful injector and squeezed off an inch spirit and determination shown on the You can’t enjoy a rainbow without first Ian McClive orchestrated a sustained the half time whistle, the Blues rallied perfect delivery. Rob Fulford’s drag flick pitch is a true reflection of the comaradery enduring the rain and on Saturday the offensive from midfield, unleashing Rob round their coach, Charlie Chuckles flew like a tomahawk missile into a Red that we share off the pitch.” He added, Blues certainly deserved their pot of gold. Fulford and Jamie Parker with ever Bannister, who focused Cambridge’s fum- Cross facility in Kabul and was slung “We train very hard and are consequently Having lost three games by a one-goal increasing success. One such foray found ing frustrations. around the goal by the elastic recoil of the very fit. Without that fitness we wouldn’t margin, the hockey boys were hoping Fulford spectacularly fouled by the The Blues went looking for their rain- inside side-netting. be able to keep going longer than most their strict diet of lucky charms would Suffolk sheepherding sweeper and led to a bow and began to bungle less in the bus- The Blues had the bit between their other teams and couldn’t have capitalized reap some rewards. penalty corner. The usual precision of tle of midfield. A break away charge by teeth and all they had to do was bite it. In in the last fifteen minutes. That was a However from the push back, the first Cambridge’s pernicious p-corner routine Ipswich up the right was dealt with swift- the last minute, Jamie Parker used his skill truly top gun performance.” half was fraught with frustration. Ipswich wasn’t up to scratch however and the ly by Neil Wilson who swooped like a and guile to force an opening for his An irksome Ipswich were inconsolable and East Suffolk dominated the Blues were unable to make a dent in the giant eagle to stop a certain goal. Time trademark back hand shot. Parker let loose while Lady Luck was off out with the encounter with puritanical possession. scoreline. though was running out so it was relieving a ferocious finish that was surely going to Blues boys to be suitably wined and dined. Divine justice: Jesus show no mercy Rugby Union the hardness of the hits in defensive tack- and less possession was lost in the loose, true, and I doubt it despite being a Jesuan, played and in one such came a Jesus ling and the aggression of the attacking the Jesus backs were given the opportuni- it is hard to find anything positive to say touchdown by Scrimgeour, disallowed for 8 Jesus sides. Despite Jesus taking an early lead, a ty to run with the ball. One such break- about their vocal support. Urging on your the referee was poorly positioned and penalty duly converted by fullback Mike away by Mark Scarfe almost saw a try; a team to play harder and better is one thing believed the ball to be held up. 7 St John’s Hill, much of the first half was controlled 60-yard run being cruelly curtailed as the but the sort of pressure put on Jesus hook- With three minutes left on the clock, it by the away team. In particular the scrum- last John’s man dragged him to the er, Brian Fitzherbert, when making line- looked as though the repercussions of this Nick King maging seemed to be going the way of ground. Nevertheless, from this move out throws was outrageous. There is a could be all too serious as John’s were John’s and the domination of their for- came a period of sustained Jesus pressure pretty well marked divide between sup- awarded a relatively simple penalty for an Twelve months ago I wrote my first Varsity wards was responsible for securing them a and the eventual winning score. A forward port and childish, unsportsmanlike cheat- illegal Jesus tackle. Admittedly with the article on this very same fixture. Over the try midway through the half. A rolling move led to the ball being passed out ing and there was no doubt which side of sort of pressure rarely experienced in col- past year much has changed in the maul established on the Jesus line eventu- along the backs and the Jesus skipper Tom this divide the John’s fans fell. No wonder lege rugby on his shoulders, the John’s University and in the outside world but ally allowed John’s to break free of the Craven being able to touch down and give the referee had to ask their men away from kicker was cruelly only able to slice it wide the vehemence of the rivalry held between Jesus defence and touch down. A perfect- his team the lead 8-7. the side of the pitch time and time again. to leave Jesus ahead. these two fine college rugby teams remains ly weighted conversion by Humphries No conversion was attempted because My small rant (please forgive me reader!) In a team performance so solid and intact. And, as it always has and always allowed John’s to take a 7-3 lead, which is the kicker was unable to find his kicking should not detract from the players of St committed as that of Jesus RUFC it is dif- will, it makes for exciting rugby from both how the first half finished. tee, said to be hidden by the John’s sup- John’s for they played hard, fair and with ficult to single out players for specific a playing and a spectating point of view. The second half saw the Jesus pack come port, and a minute was counted. Having pride in their College. On many occasions mention but particularly David Ingall Right from the off, it was clear that both out with a greater air of determination, stretched over the limit, through no fault they put themselves on the line to render found himself always in the thick of action sides were fully wound up for the match more focus and a steel to their play which of his own, Hill was told he could make the strong Jesus backline running harm- and having to make some huge tackles. and the immediate determination of all opened up the match. As both lineouts no kick. Whether or not the tale of the less. Powerful centre movements by Jamie The list could go on but, for the sake of the players was made all too obvious by and scrums were more evenly contested John’s college members hiding the tee is Franklin and Owen Scrimgeour were dis- neutral readers, it won’t!