Arts p18 Features p17 Fashion p26 Cambridge student Olly A. C. Grayling on not Laid-back style on the Rees on his nostalgic keeping the faith banks of the River Cam project When I Grow Up

FRIDAY 29TH OCTOBER 2010 THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SINCE 1947 ISSUE NO 727 | VARSITY.CO.UK Graduate Union Union member banned for life ANDREW GRIFFIN ■ Peterhouse student facing disciplinary action for nominees alleged verbal abuse against Lauren Booth ■ Societies question decision to invite Gabriel announced Latner to speak at the controversial debate CATHY BUEKER and the wider world watching. His Nominees for the Graduate Union NATASHA PESARAN decision to verbally abuse one of our (GU) upcoming elections were The Cambridge Union Society is female guests using sexual language announced on Wednesday. embroiled in controversy after has done enormous levels of harm to The positions to be filled are President James Counsell banned the reputation of our Union, as well Academic Affairs Director, Envi- a member for life for allegedly ver- as crossing all boundaries of basic ronmental Director, Events bally abusing a speaker at a debate. human decency. Director, Family Director, Interna- Gabriel Latner, a second-year Law “I should remind our members tional Director, Secretary, Treasurer, student at Peterhouse, was handed that our speakers participate for and Welfare Director. the ban after he refused to apologize free because of our reputation, and The current GU President is to fellow proposition speaker Lauren that anybody personally connected Amina Rai, who was elected in the Booth for making a comment that was to Lauren Booth will now almost spring. deemed inappropriate last Thursday certainly avoid us like the plague. The nominees for each position at the Union debate, “This House This includes, amongst many others, are running as joint candidate pairs, believes Israel is a rogue state.” Cherie Booth and Tony Blair. with the exception of Environmen- According to Latner’s account, “Any member who behaves in tal Director. The nominee for that the incident began when he told this way will be punished, let alone position, Fran Boait, is running Booth that he was Jewish and had who does so whilst representing the alone. All candidates are running volunteered with the Israeli Army. Union as the President’s personal unopposed. Latner believes this information guest.” There were no nominations for the contributed to Booth’s unease with In response, Latner has decided position of Families Director, which him speaking for the proposition. to appeal Counsell’s decision with entails addressing issues for student On Booth’s request, Latner was the Union’s Review Committee. The parents at the University, and co- moved from fi rst to second speaker substance of Latner’s appeal hinges ordinating resources for students’ for the proposition. Before getting on his contention that his actions in children and spouses. up to speak, he turned to Booth and no way disrupted the event, do not Arash Moavenian and Ankita said, “I am going to nail you to the constitute verbal abuse, and were Kankani, standing for International fucking wall up there.” not suffi cient grounds for a lifetime Director, seek to introduce programs Booth later complained about Lat- ban from the Union. to help international students, who ner’s comment to Counsell, who then Moreover, Latner believes that make up half the graduate popula- confronted Latner, and requested Counsell lacked the authority to ban tion, become acclimated to the UK. that he apologise to Booth. When him and did not follow the procedural They propose a Heathrow and Latner refused to do so, Counsell requirements for disciplinary action, Gatwick pickup scheme for new had Latner escorted off the prem- as laid out in the Union constitution. grads, as well as a bicycle orien- ises and told him he was banned for In particular, Latner contends tation “to help students become life for disrupting a Union event and that Counsell failed to conduct a familiar with the UK road and traf- verbally abusing a guest on the Soci- “Presidential investigation” before fi c rules”. ety’s premises. imposing a penalty, as the Union’s Online voting will begin on 1st Speaking to Varsity, Counsell said, Constitution stipulates. Counsell, on November and fi nish on 3rd Novem- “Gabe had ten minutes to address an the other hand, argues that an inves- ber. Paper voting will commence at audience of 800, during which time tigation was conducted, since he the Graduate Union the next day. he was representing the Union and spoke to all parties involved in the Results are due to be announced at all its membership to our guests incident, CONTINUED ON PAGE 4 Gabriel Latner outside the Cambridge Union Society 4pm on 7th November. Uni development Luke Hawksbee loses News Interview: Ridley Hall denied Protests at funding The Essay p12 under fi re out to RON new accommodation cuts Three Faiths Forum Browne changes Plans for a major new Luke Hawksbee has failed to Debbie Danon, Education Ridley Hall fails to receive Following on the heels of last development site in North secure suffi cient votes in the Manager of Three Faiths planning permission to extend week’s comprehensive spend- help Cam: West Cambridge have by-election for the position of Forum talks about encourag- its buildings to accommodate ing review, which outlined Vernon been criticised as unsafe CUSU Coordinator, despite ing dialogue and confronting a growing community of stu- a 36 per cent cut in the uni- Bogdanor and unprofitable by Cam- running unopposed. The turn- prejudice between those of dents. Plans to provide new versities’ budget, Cambridge bridge academics. The site is out for the election was only Christian, Muslim, and Jewish bedrooms and auditoriums students are expressing con- intended for student and staff 2.6 per cent of the student pop- faiths through educational have been rejected following cern about what the cuts will 43 > accommodation and research ulation, with only 583 votes programs in both faith and a number of objections from mean for the University’s facilities. ❯❯ p3 cast. ❯❯ p3 non-faith schools. ❯❯ p8 nearby residents. ❯❯ p4 access schemes. ❯❯ p7 9 771758 444002 29th October 2010 Something to say? 2 EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

Online this week

Established in 1947 SPORT Issue No 727 All the latest scores from Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge, CB2 3RF university as well as Telephone: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 760949 college sport.

FASHION Go behind the scenes with the Varsity fashion team. The Union’s Israel debate he Cambridge Union Society exists to provide screwed things up straight away by asking – of all people an open forum for students and experts to – an Israeli former soldier to speak for the anti-Israeli Texchange ideas. This is an admirable goal; but proposition. The Union is not guilty of bias, but of folly. when controversial issues are discussed, the Union must If they had performed a rudimentary check, they would VARSITV tread very carefully. There is no issue more controversial quickly have realised that Gabriel Latner was the wrong than the Israel-Palestine confl ict; last week’s debate speaker to invite. The consequences were disastrous but Bored of Come Dine With Me? Let Cooking Matters was always going to be diffi cult to handle. Yet the Union predictable. We hope they will have learned their lesson. show you how to throw the ultimate dinner party.

King’s has long since stopped one don’t think this was the Le ers to the Sir, hosting). Keeping our only strongest argument made. communal space open late Your editorial on the 22nd of gives us somewhere to meet Finally, I truly doubt that we Editor October seemed to miss the up and relax post-essay crisis. are “guilty of indulging our- point of the King’s bar debate. Going to a May Ball gives selves too much”, as you seem Sir, Disappointingly, you failed to people somewhere to pretend to imply. King’s College has Inside this week grasp the important difference to be a character in an Evelyn formal halls only once a week Last week Varsity published between the bar itself serv- Waugh novel and throw up and drinking societies are Ben White’s ‘informed’ piece, ing alcohol, and the JCR-bar oysters. The two seem unre- strictly forbidden. In any case, MAGAZINE “Israel’s apartheid demands room remaining unlocked lated to me. how is having our JCR open a response”, adding to his col- and available to students. I until 2am a matter of indul- Charlotte Runcie on being lection of myopic, anti-Israel wonder if your piece was well- Chad Allen gence? I don’t get it. I could spooked by Hallowe’en, diatribes. The complexities of researched; the fact that you KCSU Welfare and Academic work all day until 1am and plus your weekly dose of V the confl ict were reduced into got the current bar serving Affairs Offi cer want to socialise for an hour Good versus V Bad. a cosmic battle of good and evil hours wrong suggests that it before going to bed. That’s not in which he played the type was not. Sir, even about leisure; it’s more of “inconsistent human rights about staying sane. COMMENT activist” with the power to Your point that “other colleges I am writing this in response ignore anything that doesn’t fi t have much earlier closing to your article about the We are unfortunate enough Reuben Binns suggests that into the anti-Israel narrative. times and their students don’t closure of King’s Bar, since to have our bar as our JCR, Polymathia may be dead, seem to feel deprived by I believe the article makes in the same place, which is an but the need for collaboration This is the same Ben White who this” demonstrates the root an askew interpretation of a unusual problem for a college across the not only endorses an obstructive of your confusion. The plans diffi cult situation we, as a Col- to have to deal with as far as disciplines is one-state “solution” but also to close the JCR-bar room lege, are currently trying to I know. In response to this greater than understood David Ben Gurion, earlier would not bring King’s deal with. issue, King’s has formed an ever. Israel’s First Prime Minister, into line with other colleges, action committee which will as having said “we must expel as you claim, because other For starters, the bar stops attempt to co-ordinate stu- Arabs and take their places!” colleges have separate JCRs. serving at 11pm on weekdays dent views on this matter and Later, he was forced to accept Because we at King’s have and at midnight on weekends, come to a workable solution in that he had cynically manipu- a joint JCR-bar, locking this not at 11.30pm and 12.30 ‘pm’ co-operation with College Fe LISTINGS lated Ben Gurion’s true quote: up would leave the students as you suggest. lows and the Alcohol Licens- Your cultural diary for the “We do not wish and do not need with no communal space after ing Act of 2003. week. to expel Arabs and take their 11.30pm on weeknights. Such Secondly, I fi nd it unac- places.” a situation would, I believe, be ceptable that you tersely Please, get your facts right for unique. summarise our student next time, and don’t misrep- Thank you for publishing his bodies’ opinion as “the King’s resent our mature efforts as article. After much carefull As for your semi-non sequitur students’ argument”, which, a college to try and deal with thought, I, as president of regarding May Ball deca- apparently is the view that we a complicated situation. It Israel Society, have decided dence, perhaps I should now “work hard enough to deserve doesn’t help. REVIEWS not to heed his well-meaning admit my own confusion. I some leeway when it comes All the latest reviews, advice to screw dialogue and don’t understand the compari- to leisure time”, and thus bar including this week’s moderation. son between our dour hours should remain as they Sho A Sugihara theatre. but well-loved JCR-bar room, are. This was indeed a view KCSU Entertainments and Ariel Levy and the end-of-term £100- expressed in our emergency Events Offi cer Cambridge University Israel plus black-tie and champagne meeting, but our views are Society President functions (which, incidentally, much more diverse, and I for

Varsity has been Cambridge’s independent student newspaper since 1947 and distributes 10,000 free copies to every Cambridge college, to ARU and around Cambridge each week.

EDITOR Joe Pitt-Rashid [email protected] ASSOCIATE EDITORS Helen Mackreath & Lara Prendergast [email protected] ONLINE EDITOR David Rosenberg [email protected] DEPUTY ONLINE EDITOR Leonie Get involved James [email protected] NEWS EDITOR Osama Siddiqui [email protected] DEPUTY NEWS EDITORS Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran [email protected] COMMENT EDITORS Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne [email protected] MAGAZINE EDITORS Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu [email protected] SPORT EDITOR Alex Kennedy [email protected] FEATURES EDITOR Lydia Onyett [email protected] ARTS If you would like to fi nd out how EDITORS Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic [email protected] THEATRE EDITOR Edward Herring [email protected] REVIEWS & LISTINGS EDITORS Julia Lichnova & David Shone [email protected] FASHION to write for Varsity, come to one EDITORS Louise Benson, Jess Kwong & Pete Morelli [email protected] SATIRE EDITORS Alex Owen & Ben Ashenden [email protected] of our weekly meetings. SENIOR REPORTERS Jane Ashford-Thom, Elizabeth Bateman, Cathy Bueker, Jemma Trainor & Jessie Waldman [email protected] THEATRE CRITICS Michael Christie, Siobhan Forshaw, Helen Young, Matt Russell, George Johnston & Laura Peatman [email protected] FOOD & DRINK CRITICS Lettice Franklin & Alex Lass [email protected] MUSIC CRITICS Nathan Arnott-Davies, Ellie Brindle, Sam News: Monday 3.30pm, Pem- Gould & Katya Herman [email protected] FILM CRITIC Alice Bolland fi [email protected] VISUAL ARTS CRITIC Yates Norton [email protected] LITERARY CRITIC Sophie Peacock [email protected] broke College Bar PRODUCTION MANAGER Hugo Gye [email protected] SUB-EDITORS Jonny Aldridge, Olivia Anness, Henry Drummond, Donald Futers, Angela Scarsbrook, Charlotte Sewell & Leonie Taylor [email protected] BUSINESS & ADVERTISING MANAGER Michael Derringer [email protected] BOARD OF DIRECTORS Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael Derringer, Mr Magazine: Wednesday 5pm, The Hugo Gye (VarSoc President), Mr Laurie Tuffrey, Mr Paul Smith, Miss Avantika Chilkoti, Miss Helen Mackreath & Mr Josef Pitt-Rashid Maypole (Portugal Place) For VarsiTV enquiries: [email protected] Alternatively, email the relevant NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 760949. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and The Mays. section editor (right) with your RECYCLING Recycled paper made ©2010 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without up 87.2% of the raw ideas. material for UK prior permission of the publisher. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 48gsm UPM Matt Paper. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Offi ce. ISSN 1758-4442 newspapers in 2008 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NEWS 3 RON beats only candidate Major uni development ‘unsafe’ in CUSU by-election “However, my performance in LORENZO SANTINELLI OSAMA SIDDIQUI both demonstrates that at least Plans for a major new development Luke Hawksbee surprisingly failed a substantial minority of students site in north-west Cambridge could to secure suffi cient votes in a by- understand the inadequacy of tra- be unsafe and unprofi table, accord- Girton College election for the position of CUSU ditional CUSU politics in dealing ing to University academics. Coordinator, despite running with the challenges students and the The North West Cambridge Proj- unopposed. higher education system face. ect seeks the largest expansion in The voting for the sabbatical posi- “There has even been a noticeable the University of Cambridge’s his- tion began at 8am on 21st October shift to the ‘left’, for want of a better tory, with a 140ha site on the land and continued until 5pm on 22nd term, within the current sabb team bordered by Huntingdon and Mad- October. Hawksbee received 275 between their election and now. I ingley road identifi ed for university votes, while the option to re-open take this to be ample demonstra- accommodation. The site will contain M11 nominations (RON) received 286 tion that with greater knowledge up to 3,000 homes. The University votes. With only 563 votes being and experience, they are coming to hopes to receive planning consent cast, the turnout for the election was many of the same conclusions that by 2011 and begin work a year later. only 2.6%, signifi cantly lower than activists like myself reached years In a recent Senate House debate, the 13% turnout for the CUSU elec- ago through our own experiences of however, these plans were strongly tion in March. struggle,” he said. criticised by members of the Cam- Churchill College The role of CUSU Coordinator is a Previously, Hawksbee stood for bridge academic community. full-time paid position which entails the position of CUSU Education There were concerns expressed organising CUSU’s budget, over- Officer, but lost to Maria Helm- regarding the accessibility of the seeing support for student societies, ling, the current Education Offi cer. land and its potential to increase and ensuring the smooth daily run- Hawksbee is also a Cambridge NUS noise pollution in the Girton area. Map of the North West development ning of the executive. delegate & drafting offi cer for 2010 There were also health and safety The by-election was held because and has served as Education Not for concerns. Dr John Ash argued, for postdocs to live in, let’s create Professor Ian White, said that “one the previously elected Coordinator, Sale national democracy coordinator “Risk to reputation is a major factor. a community,” he said. “Let’s see of the features of the successful Chris Lillycrop, resigned in August, for 2009-10. Nothing would harm the Universi- if we can create a new kind of col- growth of the University in recent only weeks after assuming the Rahul Mansigani, CUSU Presi- ty’s reputation more than were it to lege for postdocs and postgrads; years has been the development position. dent, told Varsity: “I was surprised suffer a serious fi re or incident on the latest fi nancial projections show of new buildings both to enhance Speaking to Varsity, Hawksbee by the election results, but am the site which emergency services that we would be better off keep- established academic activities, and expressed disappointment at the glad that those who voted took the were unable to attend in good time.” ing our money in more traditional make possible new avenues of study result. “I fi nd it both surprising and election seriously and not as a rub- Professor Ross Anderson argues investments”. and research. unfortunate, given my performance ber-stamping exercise. that the development should be Proponents of the project argue “The Green Paper sets out a vision in last year’s election and the dire “While the technical period for built with a more communal sense, that it could be very benefi cial to for the development of North West situation higher education is in, nominations was relatively short rather than simply being land for the University and would exploit an Cambridge as a vibrant extension that many students have chosen to due to the CUSU Council timetable, the new sciences and technology empty patch of land, which is some- to the City that predominates as a risk having no student representa- we did advertise that the position departments. thing diffi cult to fi nd in Cambridge. University quarter but one that is tive rather than vote for a candidate was up for election over several “Rather than just building a thou- The University’s Pro-Vice-Chan- also a mixed academic and residen- known to be an experienced and months and interested candidates sand or two thousand apartments cellor for Institutional Affairs, tial community.” dedicated student activist,” he said. did approach us during this period.”

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LondonLondon ▪▪ NewNew York York ▪ ▪SanSan Francisco Francisco ▪ ▪AbuAbu Dhabi Dhabi www.pwpartners.comwww.pwpartners.com 29th October 2010 News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 4 NewS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Ridley Hall expansion rejected Union debate controversy

andrew griffin well received by the surrounding continued from page 1 described in pro-Israeli media as charlie weeks community. and gave Latner the opportunity to “an important PR achievement,” Ridley Hall last week had an Fourteen objections were made comment on and review all evidence and has received complaints that application to extend its premises to the city council, including one brought against him. the debate was intentionally pro- rejected following a number of from the Residents’ Association According to Latner, “What really Israeli. objections. of Old Newnham who believes the bothers me is the way in which Mr In particular, the Union has been Ridley Hall, situated next to extension to be too big. Counsell treated the Union’s con- criticised for allowing Latner to Newnham College on Sidgwick Even those that recognise the stitution. That is a legal document. speak for the proposition, when he Avenue, is one of the theological College’s need to expand maintain It defines very clearly the rights was known to have worked for a colleges affiliated with the Univer- that plans need refining and that and responsibilities of the members pro-Israeli think-tank, Foundation sity. It teaches a range of theology the college is attempting too much and officers. I think he ignored (or for the Defence of Democracies. The and philosophy courses and trains in too small an area. forgot) his responsibilities and he Union maintains that it does not vet intending ministers. Councillor Sian Reid said that chose to disregard not just my, but speakers’ speeches. Although not one of the 31 official the application was turned down every member’s rights. I’m not the President of the Palestinian Soci- colleges, Ridley Hall maintains a mainly because of the “dominant type of person who will take that ety, Sohail Jannesari commented, “I close link with the University and and intrusive effect if would have lying down. think that in such a divisive issue, it many of its students receive quali- on the street.” “I think this is about weighing my is important for a balanced debate to fications from the University’s Upon hearing the expansion pro- (and everyone else’s) right to free take place. Clearly, inviting Gabriel Faculty of Divinity. posal Claudia Catacchio, a graduate speech against any indignity Ms Latner to speak on behalf of what The application was reportedly student at Newnham, told Varsity, Booth suffered. If the Chamber of was essentially the pro-Palestinian to gain permission to build more “I would not have been too pleased the Union isn’t going to be a sanctu- position was not going to be condu- teaching rooms, bedrooms and an if Ridley Hall had got planning per- ary for free speech I don’t want my cive to a balanced debate. auditorium on the site of its prin- mission. For the people living here, membership back.” “The Union president has said cipal’s garden in order to increase it would have meant lots of noise Latner further told Varsity, “I’m (in an email to one of our members) student numbers and raise its ridley hall on sidgwick avenue pollution”. not saying I acted without fault. Did that they cannot vet the speakers’ national profile. Ridley Hall’s Bursar, Colin I offend Ms Booth? I have no doubt speeches. While this is true, I am Rt Rev Graham Dow, previous As Dow told Cambridge News, MacRae, commented, “We are sur- that I did. But I don’t know if what sure that the Union President is chairman of the Ridley Council, “the proposal will be a worthy suc- prised and disappointed by the Ms Booth found offensive was my more than capable of typing Gabriel said that the facilities of the college cessor to the buildings that have decision of the Cambridge City (private) comment to her, or the Latner into Google.” were designed for 40 students, yet helped to establish the character of Planning Committee.” fact that I actually ‘nailed her to In a letter to Counsell, members there are now 140 living and work- the whole area.” Ridley Hall is now expected to the wall’ in my (public) speech. I can of the CU Palestine society, Black ing there. But plans for expansion were not appeal against the decision. guess though. student’s campaign, Arab society, “As for Mr Counsell’s behaviour, and Islamic Society, among others, I think his actions were rash. In asked “How can the Union justify truth, getting ‘banned for life’ from inviting a speaker who clearly lacks the Union isn’t going to drastically any credibility to speak on behalf of change my life.” the proposition?” Latner has filed a complaint Other students, however, against Counsell for abuse of official applauded Latner’s speech. Accord- position with Union President-Elect ing to President-Elect Davidson, “I FREE Lauren Davidson. According to think Gabriel’s speech was really Union rules, in complaints that well-informed. The Union exists to 3D involve the President, the Presi- provide a platform for free speech, dent-Elect acts as the President for and so we don’t check speeches in Get the VAT back starter purposes of investigation. advance. Counsell has responded, “Whether “In almost all our debates, speak- kit or not I acted proportionately is for ers from each side twist the motion with Sony the Review Committee to decide.” and it’s usually thought very clever Counsell has also offered Latner and funny.” the opportunity to reduce his pen- Davidson added, “The motion FREE FREE FREE alty to a £30 fine, on the condition was not asking ‘Is this house pro or 5year 5year 5year that Latner sends a hand-written anti-Israel?’ It was asking whether guarantee guarantee guarantee letter of apology to Booth by Sunday Israel is a rogue state, which Gabriel 31st October. argued exactly according to the Claim Claim Claim Meanwhile, the Union has also motion. So, he was not arguing for Back Back Back come under criticism for the con- the wrong side.” £223.40 £297.86 £327.65 Net price £1276.58 Net price £1702.13 Net price £1872.33 tent of the debate itself, which was

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Oliver Wyman is a leading global management consultancy. Visit us at oliverwyman.com. Get there faster. Start here. News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NewS 7 Cambridge students ready to protest over education cuts CUSU, expressed concerns that student said: “It’s so much money On 5th November, CUSU will hold a national demonstration against jonny aldridge this would lead to a bias towards to drain from the education system. a rally in the city centre against the education funding cuts, organized Students from the University of science-based subjects. Presumably the University will Browne Review’s proposal to lift the by the NUS and the Univerity Cambridge have expressed con- According to Mansigani, “£4.2bn start tightening its purse strings tuition fee cap. and College Union (UCU), will be cerns for the University’s future, in cuts is a disaster for Britain’s now, even though [the review’s pro- However, some have expressed held in London on Wednesday 10th after £4.2bn in cuts were announced universities and our students. With posals] are going to take a couple of concerns about the efficacy of these November. last week in the government’s Com- funding for arts and social sciences years to be implemented.” protests. One student commented: Mansigani emphasised the sig- prehensive Spending Review. cut to almost zero, even Cambridge The same sentiments were on dis- “Sadly, I don’t think many people nificance of the event, saying Currently, the government grants will suffer and we need to make play last Saturday, when over 500 will go, just because they don’t think that “the demonstration on 10th a total of £11.5bn to universities for sure that our student experience Cambridge students and residents that this is happening. November could not come at a student tuition, research and infra- – in terms of supervisions and world- marched in protest against the public She added: “We don’t see the more important time. The future structure. This amount is expected class teaching – is protected.” spending cuts intended to save Brit- results of massive decisions like this of university education in the UK to be cut by 36% next year. These concerns have been echoed ain £83bn into the next year. until it’s too late.” is being threatened, and students To offset these losses, and owing to by many Cambridge students. One The protests are set to continue. In addition to the Cambridge rally, must defend it.” the Browne Report’s recent proposal to lift the tuition fee cap, Cambridge could charge fees of £14,000 a year for some science-based subjects. Earlier this month, Lord Browne advised to lift the £3,290 tuition fee cap in order to create a freer market in higher education. With considerably more contact The crowd is only average time than other universities, a pas- sion for pioneering research and its prestige to maintain, Cambridge could be forced to charge a minimum of £6,000 to meet costs. In the face of these daunting fig- ures, students have shown concerns that the University will struggle to continue its access work with under- prilviged students. According to Andy McGowan, Access Officer for Cambridge Uni- versity Students Union (CUSU), “If Cambridge were to start charg- ing double what other institutions charge for tuition fees, then despite all of the hard work put in to wid- ening participation, the amazing bursaries the University offers and the great facilities available, there is a huge risk that students from the poorest backgrounds would choose to go elsewhere, purely because of financial reasons.” He added, “I spend a lot of my time telling prospective students that despite what some people ini- tially think about the costs involved, studying at Cambridge is actually cheaper than a lot of places and can be financially advantageous. If Browne’s proposals come to fruition, this will simply no longer be true.” In addition to this, if Cambridge is forced to raise its fees, it may lose valuable post-graduate students, researchers and tutors. On the issue of post-graduate funding, National Union of Stu- dents (NUS) President, Aaron Porter, said: “I am appalled that Browne has failed to take account of the obvious: that a lack of post- graduate financial support is a Orbis has excelled over its 20-year history. barrier to access for students who cannot afford to pay upfront fees. Our research shows that finance is If we did what others do, a core consideration in decisions about whether to undertake post- we would be worth nothing. graduate study. “It is completely unreasonable to require already hard-pressed stu- Are you prepared to be different? dents and their families to take on the burden of post-graduate study on top of inflated undergraduate student debts.” He added, “This is a spending review that looks an entire gen- Attend our presentation eration in the eye and says ‘you’re Lubbock Room, Peterhouse, 16th November at 7pm on your own’.” As part of the Comprehen- sive Spending Review’s plans, the Higher Education Funding Coun- cil for England (HEFCE) will see a 79% reduction in its teachers’ funding, from £3.2bn to £700m. The remaining budget will focus on ‘pri- ority’ subjects such as medicine and engineering. Rahul Mansigani, President of 29th October 2010 News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 8 NewS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

NewS iNterview News in Brief Debbie Danon: Three Faiths Forum

Historic Irish three faiths forum projects fostering social change. documents online Over the period of one year, the group is being mentored by a New light is being shed on one of member of parliament and, there- the most controversial areas of fore, not only gains an insight into British history with the online politics, but also develops leader- publication of thousands of wit- ship skills. ness statements from the Irish rebellion of 1641. The publication is the prod- “It’s about building uct of a three-year collaboration between academics from the relationships University of Cambridge, the University of Aberdeen and between people Trinity College Dublin, and has involved over 50 people. of different faiths, The archive brings together over 8,000 eyewitness accounts cultures and of the infamous massacre of Protestant settlers by Catholic communities.” rebels in Ireland. The archive will run as an exhi- bition at Trinity College, Dublin Cambridge is currently one of until 3rd April 2011 and the doc- the few participating universities. uments are available online at Past projects included, for example, www.1641.tcd.ie ADAM CLARKE ‘Politics Works’ – a project teaching a group of 20 disadvantaged fifteen- year-olds how to effect change in their local area. Three Faiths Forum has also recently recognised the special CUP makes challenge posed by the conflict in the Middle East. In 2008, the Three record sale Faiths Forum Middle East was Debbie Danon and her colleagues at a North London school launched at the Hebrew University Cambridge University Press of Jerusalem. (CUP) has made history with Debbie Danon, education Manager of three Faiths Forum, talks As part of the project, the organi- the selling of over 35,000 books sation used its tried-and-tested to the biggest library in South to Sophie Allweis and Anna Goldenberg about starting a dia- approach of using interfaith work- Asia. shops in which the Jewish, Muslim The order represents the logue between Christians, Muslims, and Jews and Christian holy scriptures largest sale the Press has ever are studied, in order to facilitate undertaken at a value worth “encounter, interaction and impact”. £1,275m. This included 35,174 Christian, a Jew and a texts on a particular theme are degree at Cambridge, Danon got There are special programmes books, 33,409 ISBNs and the Muslim meet to discuss their presented by a member of the faith actively involved in interfaith work. for medicine students as well as for generation of the biggest invoice A holy scriptures. It could and participants are encouraged At the Jewish Society, she helped young people who are of university- the Press has ever issued at be the beginning of a joke. The from that to share their own views,” to organise ‘HinJew’ dance classes, going age. 2,794 pages long. dialogue that develops, however, is Danon says. as well as ‘MoJow’ – “a discussion Danon sees the problem in the The academic library that not a battle of punch lines, but an Doesn’t this inevitably lead to group for Muslim and Jewish girls Middle East as being rooted in the placed the order is the Anna Cen- attempt to build a relationship. Is conflict? “We encourage everyone that’s still going strong today,” she “different backgrounds and narra- tenary Library (ACL), located this possible? Varsity met Debbie to talk from a personal perspec- proudly admits. tives” people have on the conflict, in Chennai, India. It was built Danon from Three Faiths Forum, tive and explain their own family’s The CU Faiths Forum, which which is where interfaith work in memory of the much-revered a London-based organisation that beliefs and traditions, rather than she describes as “an academic stud- comes in. As she explains, “You politician and avid reader, CM was established in 1997 to work simply saying what the holy books ies program on faith, on top of the can empathise with others without Annadurai (known throughout nationwide on encouraging dialogue of the various religions instruct,” work that all the religious societies agreeing on everything. Interfaith his career as Anna) who died in and confronting prejudice between Danon explains. do,” was also set up during Danon’s work is great for encouraging 1969. The library boasts room adherents of the three Abrahamic time in Cambridge. No wonder, people to socialise together.” for 1,250 visitors and employs religions. therefore, that their activities bear She adds, “Once a friendship is 200 people. ELIZABETH BATEMAN Danon read Theology at St John’s “Dialogue involves resemblance to the work that Three there and you have interests in and was President of the Jewish Faiths Forum does. common with someone, disagreeing Society before starting to work as learning to ask Even though this society is on an issue is less unpleasant.” Education Manager at Three Faiths currently undergoing a period of The future of initiatives such as Forum. and answer tough handover and change, they never- Three Faiths Forum sounds promis- Cam student gets “Looking back it seems natu- theless organise interfaith concerts ing: A similar organization already ral, but at the time it was more questions without and workshops for promoting dia- exists in Lisbon, while UK staff Countdown best accidental. I’d planned to go into logue and discussion. members are currently supporting advertising and PR, but after many offending others. A charity day is also planned to the establishment of Three Faith Jack Hurst, a first-year math- interviews, a friend said that she happen during Michaelmas term and Interfaith Forums in Rome, as ematics student at Pembroke, couldn’t see me selling toothpaste You can disagree 2010. The NUS sponsors some of well as in the Middle East and in has become the highest ever for the rest of my life!” she explains. these events in Cambridge. Eastern European countries, such scorer on the Channel Four Instead, she chose to adver- without falling out.” Danon believes in the transfor- as Hungary and Bulgaria. Clearly, show Countdown since the tise something that can often be mative power of the university this is an idea that is starting to shows inception in 1982. Jack quite tricky to sell: dialogue - as According to Danon, her own experience to change people’s per- take root and is being seen globally scored a total of 946 points in it involves “learning to ask and family background has had an ceptions and views. “For many of as an important one to foster cross- the eight rounds, overtaking answer tough questions without impact on the work she now us, university is the first time in life cultural dialogue. the 930 points of the previous offending others. You can disagree does. To some extent, she has her where we encounter a whole range According to Danon, “It’s all record holder, Andrew Hume, without falling out.” personal three faiths, or rather, of people from diverse backgrounds about building relationships who was an economics student To achieve this, Danon works on cultures. “I was born in London and have the chance to develop new between people of different faiths, at Warwick. Hurst will appear developing educational programs, myself, but both my parents are interests and friendships,” she says. cultures and communities.” Hearing in the grand finale in December, which are aimed at both faith and Turkish, so I’ve always had a great This is why Three Faiths Forum Danon describe it in this way, one in which he will compete against non-faith schools, universities, understanding of and respect for has a particular interest in reaching can see what a vitally necessary other top players of the series, youth groups and individuals. the culture. People are sometimes university students. undertaking this is for the current to contest for a twenty-volume Funded by the Home Office, confused that I can be Turkish, Danon is also involved in run- times. gold-leafed Oxford dictionary. “Tools 4 Trialogue” is one of the British and Jewish all in one. It can ning the program Undergraduate However, he has been reported organization’s most popular pro- work in my favour, though – it’s ParliaMentors. This initiative gives to be aiming for the second place grams. “It uses religious texts as good to challenge stereotypes and university students with a special prize of £1000. the basis of discussion. Extracts presumptions!” interest in politics the opportu- from Christian, Jewish and Muslim While studying for her Theology nity to work in interfaith trios on Day 1: Introductions

Day 2: The World Morgan Stanley is an equal opportunity/affirmative (M/F/D/V) action employer committed to workforce diversity. © 2010 Morgan Stanley

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Learn more about career opportunities at www.morganstanley.com/careers 29th October 2010 Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 10 COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Comment You do the (poly)math Polymathia may be dead, but the need for collaboration across the disciplines is greater than ever

knowledge has grown several another are slim. The pressures of foothold in multiple fi elds, the fruits – virtually! Accessible, academic thousand-fold since his day. The academic life, departmental politics of interdisciplinary fertilisation can titles for the general reader grace comedian Stewart Lee once joked and the changing tides of intellec- still blossom. As students, we can the shelves of every good bookshop that a modern-day Young would tual fashion entrench disciplinary and e-book store. And in contem- have to read not only all the literary, closed-mindedness. All this means porary academia more broadly, theological and scientifi c works past that genuine polymathia is now gen- If a young person interdisciplinary research centres and present, but also every single erally impracticable. are being set up within universi- celebrity hardback – including those In many ways, this is probably a takes A-Levels ties left, right and centre; here in by Jeremy Clarkson and Chris good thing; after all, no one wants Cambridge, CRASSH (Centre for Moyles. As a result, he would end to be a jack of all trades, master of they will narrow Research in Arts, Social Sciences up more stupid than a man who had none. But one can’t help but wonder and Humanities) is a case in point read nothing. whether the secret to the their academic As well as enabling that seren- This increase in things polymaths’ success lay dipitous, creative transfer of ideas known has led inevita- in their ability to horizons to three that may have given a Da Vinci REUBEN BINNS bly to an increased make connections or Galileo their ‘eureka’ moment, division of academic across disciplines. subjects, with most such interdisciplinary collabora- labour. One cannot Da Vinci’s knack tion has a greater importance. he eighteenth-century poly- hope to contribute for invention may university courses Solutions to the challenges of our math Thomas Young was anything until have been fed century – climate change, economic Treputedly the last person having gone by his detailed making them crisis, an ageing population – will alive to have read every book ever through three investigations of require expertise spanning many published in his day. Young belongs years of university human anatomy, narrower still disciplines. Fostering a culture to a host of famous historical think- education. If a while Galileo’s for collaboration will thus be key ers – Galileo, Da Vinci, Newton young British person dual passion for simply engage with friends study- in years to come. There may be – who each made major contribu- takes A-Levels they mathematics and ing different courses – even inviting no polymaths any more, but we tions to a wide variety of academic have probably already astronomy led him to each other to attend favourite needn’t regret their demise; per- fi elds. This brand of Renaissance narrowed their academic study the heavenly bodies lectures. haps their place can be taken by man seems noticeably absent in horizons to just three subjects, with in a systematic rather than merely Furthermore, we have never had newfound collaboration between today’s intellectual landscape. most university courses making descriptive way. How can we create so much knowledge available at our the disciplines. And all this without Where have they all gone? them narrower still. By the time such interdisciplinary cross-polli- fi ngertips with which to educate anyone having to read even one There is one obvious reason why university students are suffi ciently nation in contemporary, specialised ourselves outside of institutional word of Jeremy Clarkson’s The nobody has since achieved Young’s primed to participate in one dis- education? boundaries. There is enough online World According to Jeremy Clark- great feat; the wealth of printed cipline, opportunities to take on Even if individuals cannot get a material to learn virtually anything son: Volume Three. Burmese Days If the appalling situation in Burma has the ability to outrage so many of us, why are Cambridge students prepared to do so li le about it?

a military rule is repressing democ- spoke out about the current impris- Tibet, which had a similar chance evidenced this week, but present racy and imprisoning the leader of onment of Aung San Suu Kyi, the of making a tangible impact. Hun- throughout the terms here. Few the non-violent protest is enough to democratic leader under house dreds, if not thousands, are expected sign up to goodwill causes even provoke almost immediate condem- arrest. The Amnesty campaign to travel to London to protest about fewer actually help out with them. nation from a vast majority. In fact, already has tens of thousands of tuition fees, which looks likely to The admirable few who braved if you were to ask, as I did, a room of have no effect on the Government’s the cold are to be commended but, people if they are opposed to what decision to alter the system. when it comes down to it, the Cam- is happening in Burma, I can almost Why, in a liberal So why does no-one care about bridge student body is not as caring guarantee that the majority of them Burma? Is it the fact that Burma as it would like to think. The Union would answer with an emphatic student town, can is such a small country on the may decide that the House believes “yes”. Those who wouldn’t would other side of the world? any number of things, but almost certainly claim ignorance. no-one nd the Unlikely, given the only the tiniest of minori- So why was the protest made responses to human ties are prepared to act up of just a few dozen? Why, in a time to speak up and natural disas- on these beliefs. JONNY SINGER liberal student town, where the ters in Tibet, Haiti, The message Browne Review has caused such a for democracy in Pakistan and Sri to the people of massive stir, where debates on the Lanka. Maybe it’s Burma is clear. A f you walked along King’s Middle East attract hundreds, can Burma? the fact that we couple of people Parade this week, and took a no-one fi nd the time to speak up for feel we’ve had stand by you in Imoment to look past the tour- democracy in Burma? There is a backers, including those much enough of this your plight, and ists, you might have seen a small sense of helplessness about the sit- better placed to instigate change issue (after all it hope democracy, cage on the lawn in front of King’s. uation. What can actually be done than any students in Cambridge, was in the public or at least freedom, Inside, for a short while, sat stu- by the student body to create any while a military invasion would be awareness in 2002 will come to you dents, armed with placards and effect on the government in Myan- impractical as well as morally dubi- to the extent that soon. But when there warm clothing, attempting to draw mar? The military dictatorship is ous. There really isn’t much change Amnesty activity on are essays to write, attention to the situation in Burma. not going to hear about a protest that we, as students, can actually behalf of Burma could be sports matches to be It is a cause widely known, and in a university town the other side make. satirised in the fi lm About a played, debates to attend, and one which a few clicks from Google of the world and think, “you know Yet this alone should not deter Boy), or that there are issues closer bars to drink in, there just aren’t can illuminate further, so I won’t what, we’ve got this one wrong.” students to the extent that a student to home, with cuts on the horizon, enough hours in the day for most of dwell on the details of their pro- Bringing awareness isn’t a body of almost 20,000 can produce which we feel more strongly about. us to care. test. Most students will have some problem either. The US, EU, Aus- only around 20 activists willing to But, to me, none of these can “Protect the Human” reads the knowledge of the issues and, even tralia and Canada have all already sit in a cage. Many more made a explain the incredible apathy sign on the cage. Most of us seem to if it isn’t the simplest message, that imposed sanctions. Gordon Brown stand against Chinese actions in shown by the student community, have more important things to do. Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk COMMENT 11

Our Man in Amman

y family is visiting me this week, which neatly Mcoincided with the arrival of information from my intestines telling me that they’d had enough lamb kebabs for a while – thanks. I’ve been laid low for a few days, but still managed to show my parents and sister around town, as well as exploring more of Jordan beyond the capital. I’ve found that being in a family group means people see you much more as tourists, which can be both a good and a bad thing. The bad thing is that taxi drivers will be more confi dent in trying to rip you off, leaving the meter switched off (“it’s sleeping”) and trying to demand a higher fee. This, I would hasten to add, has only happened a few times to us. The only other notable incident OLLY WATSON was when my dad was short- changed by a cheerful man selling him a bag of nuts. Overwhelmingly though, my family has been blown away by Seeking asylum, welcomed with violence the gobsmacking generosity of our host country. On many occa- sions, restaurants would refuse Not only is our detention of asylum seekers brutal, but it is proving both costly and ine ective to let us pay, insisting we were guests and therefore our meal Having lived in England for 14 led to him being placed on suicide Migrant Solidarity, escaped Iran was free. On more than one occa- years with his family, Jimmy died watch. His application was initially after a fatwa was released, con- sion I have had to force money whilst being forcibly returned to refused, and he was very nearly demning her to be stoned to death. into people’s hands, because we his home country. Witnesses on deported. Fortuitously, Cambridge Arriving in England, she was sent were too embarrassed not to pay his fl ight explain how he struggled MP Julian Huppert found out about to Holloway prison. This kind of at least something. for breath, as his head was pushed his case, and stopped the plane arbitrary imprisonment only adds Last week we took a trip to down by three members of the at the airport. “I have been a bit to the overcrowding of UK jails. Jerash, a town that houses the security agency responsible for his lucky,” Mr F admits, “but now I can Even once an asylum seeker has remains of a spectacular Roman return. He was screaming, “I can’t only think of the other people in begun the offi cial process, genuine city. But the experience was breathe, I can’t breathe.” there.” He was helped by Medical applications are frequently caught spoilt by a busload of tourists. This kind of violent restraint has in a mire of bureaucracy. Detainees During the chariot race and become a worryingly familiar part are entitled to just fi ve hours of gladiator display, we found of the deportation process. I spoke Violent restraint legal aid, an insuffi cient amount of ourselves sitting behind two to Mr S (whose name has been time for such a complicated pro- American ladies who had voices protected for his safety), a Libyan cess. Farah was told she needed like Ann Widdecombe’s, only JESSE WALDMAN asylum seeker who underwent a has become a to produce the offi cial copy of the more annoying. “Oh my GAWD, similar experience: “I was woken fatwa against her. It is an offence what language is THAT?” one in the night, they bound my hands familiar part of punishable by death to remove the of them drawled. “It sounds like he recent closure of the Oak- and feet and carried me onto the document from Iran, so she has Japanese or something,” gurned ington detention centre in aeroplane. I was bent down. I could the deportation been unable to procure the original. the other. It was Latin. Quite TCambridgeshire provoked a hardly breathe. The handcuffs She is now released on bail, yet obviously Latin, even to me, and mixed response from anti-detention made my hands bleed.” process although she and her husband have I never went to public school. I campaigners. Since the death of Private security fi rm G4S is con- a small baby, they neither have the yearned for a silent automatic Kenyan Eliud Nyenze at Oakington tracted by the Government to run Justice, an NGO which supports right to work, nor are they entitled weapon with which I might ice in April, the concrete and barbed- detention centres and escort asylum cases such as that of Mr F by pro- to any kind of social benefi ts. Her such fools. wire fortress has been anything seekers back to their home coun- viding independent health advice. case continues. However, we still experienced but an advert for the British immi- tries. The corporation is notoriously Medical Justice describe the role of In the UK in the past four years, the warm Jordanian welcome. gration system. Nyenze’s inquest unscrupulous, with an extremely private companies in the detention 28 people are known or suspected to My sister was informed she declared he died of problems caused questionable ethical record. system as “outsourcing abuse”. have committed suicide when told was “the Queen of Jerash”, and by an irregular heartbeat, but G4S is hardly the ideal fi rst point Although centres like Oaking- that their asylum application failed, presented with a free postcard. allegations suggest that in spite of of contact considering that many ton are intended as temporary and even those who want to return I showed off my above-average complaining of chest pain, he was of the detainees at Oakington suf- stop-offs, those with pending appli- to their home country can often still knowledge of Arabic to a man denied access to a doctor. fered from horrifi c human rights cations can be detained for as long be detained for months on end. selling little bamboo whistles However, whilst conditions abuses in their country of origin. as three years. Each asylum seeker As victims of international and he gave one to each of us inside Oakington may be unsa- I spoke to Mr F (whose name kept in detention costs the UK bureaucracy, detainees are in as a present. It turned out the voury, closing the centre has meant we have also withheld), who was Government £68,000 annually. On limbo, isolated from friends and whistles he gave us were actually that applications of those inside detained there for six months in fi rst arriving in the UK, many are family, acquiring mental health broken, so really he’d actually were fast-tracked, and quite pos- spite of the fact that his body bore immediately criminalised because problems, often highly educated given us some fancy sticks, but sibly not dealt with properly. On the physical evidence of torture. they have no hope of obtaining a yet unable to work, and costing the sentiment was still wonder- 12th October, the dark side of UK In Sudan, he had been kept in an passport from a regime from which our cut-ridden Government a vast ful. After living here for nearly immigration policy once again hit underground prison for seven they are fl eeing, and so have been sum of money. There has got to be two months, it’s easy to forget the headlines. Jimmy Mubenga, an months. For Mr F, conditions forced to travel on false documents. a better alternative to a system just how damn nice everyone is. Angolan asylum seeker, died on a at Oakington triggered post- Farah, an Iranian woman now which is expensive, ineffi cient and TOM CROOKE British Airways fl ight to Luanda. traumatic shock syndrome, which being supported by Cambridge grossly unjust. 29th October 2010 Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 12 COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

ThE ESSAY ‘Students at Cambridge are privileged, but not as privileged as they ought to be’ tudents at Cambridge to be saddled by debt. Under the are privileged, but not as Browne proposals, as today, no Sprivileged as they ought to be. student pays anything upfront. They are privileged because, not The contribution remains deferred only are they attending one of the and income-contingent. Indeed, no world’s great research universities, student pays anything until she is they are also attending one of the earning at least £21,000 per annum. world’s great teaching universi- The Browne Report, then, pro- ties. Cambridge seeks to combine poses to make Cambridge students the virtues of both Harvard and even more privileged than they Amherst. are today. Yet most Cambridge stu- Teaching at Cambridge is under- dents probably oppose it. Why? pinned by the supervision system, Students have a strong social whereby undergraduates are conscience. They believe that taught in small groups, sometimes higher graduate contributions will singly, and often by world authori- deter candidates from poorer fami- ties in their subjects. Anyone lies from coming to Cambridge. Yet confronting a Cambridge student the old system, the system of cen- knows what great advantages this tral planning, manifestly failed to system gives to its students whose encourage access. The percentage written and verbal fluency puts the of Cambridge students from poorer products of most other universities families was not much higher to shame. After President Eisen- before fees were first introduced hower first met his successor, John in 1998 than it had been thirty Kennedy, he commented that you years earlier. American experience can tell a Harvard man, but you shows that a high student fund- can’t tell him much. The same is ing contribution need not damage true of a Cambridge man – and of access. Indeed, the percentage course woman. of students from poor families Why, then, are Cambridge stu- attending universities is higher in dents not as privileged as they America – and in Australia, which ought to be? Anecdotal evidence also requires large student contri- suggests that the realities of the butions – than it is in Britain. supervision system are sometimes In fact, the system of state con- far from the ideal. Students com- trol of the universities subsidises plain that world-famous figures the middle classes, not the poor. are too busy with their research, The competition for places at or just not interested in teaching, Cambridge between those from which is seen as a tiresome inter- EMMA SMITh independent schools and those ruption. All too often, students are from the maintained sector is fobbed off with overworked junior largely one between different seg- lecturers or graduate students. Deriding the broken system of state-planned higher ments of the middle class. In this Sometimes the world-famous sense also, Cambridge students are figures are ill-equipped to convey education, Vernon Bogdanor outlines why the Browne privileged but it is a privilege dif- their knowledge to the young. ficult to defend. It is hard to argue Cambridge suffers, as other Review’s proposal of a market-based, consumer-driven that taxpayers, most of whom have universities do, from a system of not attended Cambridge, should government funding which deval- university structure is the cure – and why Cambridge subsidise those lucky enough to ues teaching. Each university win places there. receives from the Higher Educa- students ought to be embracing it with open arms. Much will be expected of future tion Funding Council a teaching generations of students. But much grant which is the same for Cam- also will be offered to them – in bridge as it is for less prestigious Cambridge is not a nationalised to him for the large quantity of his of higher education, it proposes a particular, the chance to choose a universities. For example, the industry, the government tells it unpublished papers! market, a regulated market admit- university on the basis of its teach- how many students it can take, and The Browne Report on higher tedly, but a market, with consumer ing excellence, and to ensure that what it must charge them. It is now education funding and student power being put into the hands of the quality of teaching promised in Students often coming to tell them how students finance, recently published, offers students. the university prospectus is actu- should be selected. This is a system In future, if Browne has his way, ally delivered. Cambridge of course complain that which central planners in the universities will be able to charge has nothing to fear from a competi- Soviet Union would have envied. Cambridge suffers whatever fees they like. Some uni- tive market. Indeed, the Browne world-famous One does not need a degree in versities, like Cambridge, will of reforms will probably make economics to appreciate that cen- from a system course remain prestigious research Cambridge students even more dons are too tral planning of universities makes universities, and will also seek to privileged than they are today, and little sense, and, in particular, that of government remain top-class teaching institu- deservedly so. busy with their it provides little incentive for good tions. Others may become liberal Students are trained to be teaching. A university with good funding that arts colleges on the American self-critical. Yet their reaction to research, or just teachers cannot raise its fees, while model, concentrating on teaching, Browne has been a knee-jerk one. a university with bad teachers is devalues teaching. but not research. Some universities They ought to think again. not interested in protected from competition. may privatise themselves – indeed By contrast, the state provides For example, the Cambridge may well be one of teaching incentives for research, since uni- them. Some universities may seek versities are evaluated, supposedly grant for classics to cut costs by providing intensive Vernon Bogdanor is a Research grant for classics at Cambridge is by the quality of their research, two-year courses, rather than the Professor at King’s College, the same as the grant for media but in practice, one suspects, by at Cambridge Cambridge model of three-year London. he was for many years studies at Poppleton. its quantity. This has made the courses, stemming perhaps from Professor of Government at The Higher Education Funding lives of young academics, required is the same as days of old, when the long vaca- Council tells Cambridge how many to publish prematurely in learned tions were put aside for gentlemen Oxford, and has always believed, students it can take. If the univer- journals, a misery, and it has led to the grant for to pursue their reading. along with henry James, that “If sity takes more, it is fined for each far too many publications of ques- What is certain, if the Browne Oxford were not the finest thing extra student that it takes. The tionable worth, which most dons media studies at proposals go through, is that there in England, then Cambridge Council also tells Cambridge how have little time to read. Most of will be a greater diversity of higher most certainly would be.” his much it must charge each student. them perhaps are not worth read- Poppleton education institutions. That can The level of the fee means that ing. One of my colleagues at Oxford only benefit students. books include The New British Cambridge makes a loss on each used to argue wryly that his col- a cure for all this. Instead of the Of course, students do not want Constitution, published by hart student that it takes. So, although leagues ought to be most grateful current system of state planning to pay for university courses, nor in 2009. MAGAZINE Faith in Cambridge: two perspectives p16

The Varsitorialist hits the street again p18

This week’s theatre reviewed in full p22 29nd October 2010 Magazine Editors : Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 14 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

Charlo e Runcie: On All Hallow’s Scares GOOD James ‘What to do if you like the idea of Hallowe’en but you’re Franco. Mmmm. Oops, not up for watching a fi lm where somebody’s eyeball gets distracted again - we snipped off?’ mean James Franco’s new collection of he great American tradi- wonder at fl ickering pumpkins happy about the bit with the rat costume and remembering short stories. tion of Hallowe’en pranks lining residential streets is all in Lady and the Tramp. nothing of the night before. Thas arrived in Europe very well, but as the evening What to do, then, if you like Hallowe’en in Cambridge is in grand style. Hats off, then, sets in and the horror movie the idea of Hallowe’en but especially festive because of all The opening of to Lydia Paillard, who kicked DVD box sets come out, every you’re not up for watching a the thousands of like-minded Yo! Sushi. In the things off last week. Accord- year I have to start admitting fi lm where somebody’s eyeball students who are constantly absence of a ing to the Telegraph, she to myself, and to my friends, all gets snipped off? Is it possible keeping an eye out for any yummy James confounded doctors by waking over again, that… well, I almost to enjoy Hallowe’en’s scary excuse to wear silly clothes and Franco at least up 14 hours after she had been can’t bring myself to say it. side without having to invest get smashed. If you so much there’ll be pronounced “very certainly clini- in some bladder weakness as think about a costumed sushi in the cally dead”, going on to declare, pads and a mug of trip to Cindies around here it centre of “I had a wonderful sleep!” only takes fi ve minutes before Cambridge Bravo, Mme Paillard! Sure you’re surrounded by eager it was a week or two early for faces, ripped-up bed sheets Hallowe’en itself, but that just and bottles of fake blood. There Sleepless in made them suspect the whole will be an embarrassment of Starbucks in thing even less. And the line bops and ents and themed Seattle with the about having slept well is movie nights for the discerning announcement just so much more original Hallowe’en enthusiast to that they are than “Boo!” The whole thing peruse this weekend, plus to start serving seems like a well-written rows of lurid green and beer and wine joke, as even the phrase “very orange cocktails lined up after 4 o’clock. certainly clinically dead” and glittering along every Post work Skinny seems suspiciously unmedi- bar. It just feels a little Grande Bud to go cal. It suggests there are other inauthentic, though. Fun, anyone? variations, perhaps “slightly”, but maybe a bit of a cop-out?

“might as well be”, or “as a LOUISE LONG Nobody’s really terrifi ed at doornail”. I can almost hear the Hallowe’en-themed bops. At men in white coats sniggering Okay, here goes. I’m too much hot, sweet tea? Or does the least, no more than they are at The fi nal fall of the Walkman. behind their death certifi cates. of a coward for Hallowe’en. Halloween scaredy-cat deserve ordinary ones. Line discontinued. But as impressed as I You see? Pathetic. I’m a wimp, everything she gets? So I’ve got a dilemma: do Dust off that one absolutely am by the seasonal a jellyfi sh, a yellow-bellied, lily- I think this is why so many I party, get over my fears, or you’ve been shock factor of Lydia’s reani- livered poltroon. The Corpus people turn to a night out on stay at home eating pumpkin hiding in your mation, reading her story made Chronophage gives me the Hallowe’en. Too scared for cupcakes with the door locked? undies drawer, me turn, inevitably, to look heebie-jeebies after 8pm. I get Japanese horror fi lms, too None of those is the perfect way the Walkman with a critical eye at my own jumpy if I have to walk back over-excited to get an early of getting in the Hallowe’en looks set for Hallowe’en plans. from the ADC alone. I spent night? Drinking and dressing spirit. I don’t want to copy a kitsch It’s a time of year that lends most of the Scream series up is one answer, and I suppose Lydia, but coming back from Polaroid-style itself to some complex emotions: burying my face in a cushion there is something scary about the dead is starting to sound comeback. for me at least, a childlike and sobbing, and I’m not at all waking up in a torn witch’s like a pretty great solution…

Dear Varsity, Christmas in the shops long before Hallowe’en. Surely all The island is under siege. While those advent a once-dormant barracuda (think calenders are gargantuan, scowling piranha with a penchant for gets sent before Varsi- long past their human flesh) terrorises the turquoise waters ty’s timezone-hostile sell-by. At least of Guadalupe’s beaches, the country’s venom- deadline tomorrow). Or Pot Noodle’s ous millipede community is also mobilising its indeed the fact that ‘festive fusion of troops. Only yesterday, as I was sipping my the place is as yet turkey and stuff- ‘p’tit punch du rhum’, enjoying the cacophony of entirely unfurnished. In ing’ might make musical frogs during the downpour that the locals an attempt to remedy this last one I’ve taken the distance... reassuringly referred to as ‘un petit cyclone’, a to demanding undeserved favours from my new new friend suddenly threw himself at my feet and colleagues, and have been pleasantly surprised started hacking at the red squirming mass on the by the eclectic selection of kitchen tools and Skins USA the neurotic, floor with the first object to hand. Turns out glasses that they’ve benevolently sent my way. In screwed-up teens we know that an expertly deployed size 8 Birkenstock is a fact, I recently turned up to a lesson (one that and love have been given the decent counter-millipede implement, although not somehow became centred upon the example sentence American high school cheerleader quite as effective as the scissors that finished of mine “Eat the pig, don’t hit the pig!” which, treatment and gone instantly from off the second multi-legged assailant whose I thought, nicely combined practice of both nang to naff. poison had already rendered my friend’s arm limp the imperative mood and general pronunciation) and distinctly blue... clutching a decrepit plastic bag of bequeathed teaspoons, which elicited a certain amount of An impressive selection of unidentifiable crusta- intrigue among my students. A perfect opportu- ceans was also found whist cleaning my new nity to open my plight out to a wider audience, I apartment in preparation for moving in tomorrow, reasoned. So there now exists a sort of illicit although there are many housing-related issues crockery trade at my school between myself and that need to be dealt with before insect battles countless fork-bestowing children. I wonder if become first priority. The lack of internet, for they’ll be as forthcoming with shelving... example (hence me writing now in the middle of the night in this Wifi-blessed house to ensure it Haxie x (Ali MacKinnon is online) BAD Magazine Editors: Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAgAzinE 15 SOME QUESTIONS FOR: Fergus McGhee, CUCA Chairman Alice Hancock and Charlotte Wu dig into the self-declared “embarrassingly lavish” life of Cambridge’s premier purveyor of port and cheese parties

College: The Chairmanship of CUCA is a polit- Trinity ical role.

School: If you could rule any country (UK and Dollar Academy USA aside) which would it be? Date of birth: I couldn’t think of anything more 15th October 1990. You’re out of the dreadful than ruling a country. maternity ward and into the class- room in Scotland. When you’re rich and powerful and the University is offering to name something Date of death: after you, what will you request? Distant, but not too distant, I hope. Cambridge doesn’t need anything new. I’d request a mass demolition of Sexuality: everything ugly. How very dare you. Ethnicity: What did you want to be when you grew Mainly Celtic. Check out the green up? eyes. Religion: Christianity is fascinating. “ Cambridge doesn’t Emergency contact: My unflappable Diary Secretary. I need anything do her diary, she does mine. Works new. I’d request a surprisingly well. Smoker: mass demolition of Cigars are pretty mandatory. everything ugly. ” Number of sexual partners? Far fewer than Nick Clegg. A particularly vindictive Headmaster.

Mental health problems: What do you want to be when you grow I call them eccentricities. up? Favourite book? Cheerful and sympathetic. Fear and Trembling by Kierkegaard. What’s the key to happiness? Actual favourite book?: Sauternes and good company. The complete works of my literary hero, John Donne. What will be written on your gravestone? What are you reading? “Yesternight the sun went hence/And A collection of essays by Forster, an yet is here today” (Donne) amazing man. Who would play you in the film of your life? Where do you live? Rupert Everett. Definitely. Peterhouse. Who will play your arch-nemesis in the Where do you sleep? film of your life? My embarrassingly lavish set in Rupert Everett. I can’t get enough of Trinity, mostly. that chap.

AdAM HinEs-grEEn Which Pokémon would play you in the “Wednesday Cindies? When did you first realise that you wanted headline). cartoon of your life? I can get my cheese to be a megalomaniac? Poke-who? In the womb. I was a Caesarian. How many copies will it sell? elsewhere, thank you.” Well my mother’s certainly not getting What’s next for Fergus McGhee? Who’s your favourite dictator? one, so probably none. A catch up with John Major. King David. Brave, magnificent, sensi- tive, cultured, passionate, imperfect. Who’s your Cambridge arch-nemesis? Do you have anything you’d like to ask Where will you be on Wednesday night? The proprietor of the Cambridge us? Cindies? I can get my cheese What’s the working title for your spill-all Cheese Company. I want his shop. All Fancy some port and cheese? elsewhere, thank you. Probably Catz memoirs? of it. formal, they have a whole extra Outrageous Fortune (that’s a Hamlet course of it there. reference, not some sort of Forbes What’s the worst joke you’ve ever heard?

The Cambridge University Conservative Association was officially established in 1921 with roots going back to the 1880s Cambridge University Carlton Club. it is Cambridge’s largest political association and was set up as forum for discussion of political activity and discussion of Conservative policy. According to wiki- pedia it is seen by the Conservative Party as a training ground for future Conservative politicians. CUCA has a busy schedule of speaker meetings and a lively social timetable including their famous port and cheese parties. For further infomation see www.cuca.org.uk. 29th October 2010 Features Editor: Lydia Onyett 16 magazinE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

The faithful and faithless have been debating for centuries. Lauren Davidson and Duncan Evans talk ignorance, tolerance, and whether the two sides can ever meet in the middle

isclaimer: What I’m about to say preaching “There’s probably no God, so good in the world, who dismiss those religion was their sole factor. Similar has featured in the great works stop worrying and enjoy your life.” This who subscribe to a supernatural belief strife has come because of power, Dof the last several millennia; I may be the belief of most atheists, and system, who claim religion spreads prejudice, land – I think we can agree appreciate there’s a lot more to say. is one that I have sympathy for, but corruption and abuse, belong to an ‘ism’ that land is pretty vital for, you know, Let me tell you a little about myself. from my experience many people who themselves. Atheists can be funda- walking and things. You don’t see many I’m Jewish, and have always been self-defi ne and make a point of publicly mentalist in blindly accusing others of buses cruising around screaming “land observant of Judaism’s main laws, proclaiming themselves as atheists are fundamentalism, and are sometimes probably shouldn’t exist”. Religion whilst submerging myself in secular actually anti-theists – a subtle differ- the most evangelical of the lot. I do not can, and does, have a positive effect culture and education. This, I believe, is ence, but one which leads to huge irony. speak out against atheism per se, but on people’s lives – from providing the the optimum way for a religious person Most of the ridiculous questions against fundamentalists of all walks of destitute with hope, to surrounding to live their life. The problem I always and offensive remarks I’ve received life – and yes, this does include those people like me with a rich, historical get is that people try to ‘box’ me: “Oh, have been from anti-theist atheists – whose god is having no god. and social culture. Religion isn’t just you’re Jewish? Have you, like, ever rarely from another person of religious I admit that religion has caused about God. eaten bacon? Do you, like, know the belief or background. It strikes me as crusades, suicide bombers, wars – but And here I fi nally reach my point: the people who run the media? What does paradoxical that those this argument is getting root of all human evil and wrongdoing God have to say about all that?” I won’t who criticise a little tired, and it is ignorance, regardless of religious even bother with the stupidity of these religion as would be naïve belief or lack thereof – a prevalent questions, except to say that I don’t a force to claim problem in the world today. Trying to believe in God. (Pause for dramatic for that get rid of religion, as some would recom- effect; look into distance quizzically.) mend, merely adds fuel to this fi re. We It’s not that I believe that there is need to educate and coexist. no God, just that I don’t positively This works two ways. I don’t advocate believe that there is a God. I’m not a the lifestyle of those who live in small spiritual person; however, religion religious communities and reject any still plays a large part in my life infl uence from the outside world, and I value it greatly – call it never testing their beliefs. Similarly, religious agnosticism, if you the secular world needs to open will. Sometimes, people are its arms and foster a world of so busy religion-bashing religious freedom – something it that they don’t appreciate might think it does but, take it we’re not all crazy zealots from me, it doesn’t. trying to save your soul. I It’s not just religion itself won’t be preaching facts that causes hardship and and fi gures to you today, war; it is the ignorance and but speaking from the intolerance of those unwill- growing vat of personal A slap in ing to learn about and accept experience. other people’s ways of life. So The Atheist Bus what if people believe there’s Campaign sent a God? Stop worrying and messages throughout enjoy your life. LD the streets of London,

ometime in Septem- send a shiver down my spine ber, 1994: my fi rst the faith every time I read them: Sday at a C of E “Thomas, because thou hast primary school. I’m probably seen Me, thou hast believed: nervous and certainly eager blessed are they that have not to please. I don’t have many seen, and yet have believed.” opinions – I’m much too young for that – but they will come lind faith can cause great harm. with time, no doubt moulded by my Sure, for many wars, religion surroundings. Bhas been a convenient excuse. As the years go by, institutionalised JULia CaROLYn LiCHnOVa But, under its infl uence, the most religion plays a big part in my life. I intelligent people can be capable of the attend weekly classes in the adjoin- most appalling ignorance. Twice in my ing church, headed by the local vicar; remain two years at Cambridge have there and the school community is brought offered believ- been scares over condom piercings, together by twice-weekly assemblies, the best ers to this day attributed to religious nuts within the where we mindlessly sing in praise of education avail- JULia CaROLYn LiCHnOVa and this in turn university. Accordingly, it is every- God. able. The same is true shapes their opinions on a one’s duty to ensure, in a respectful We are never told what to believe. for many others. I was about ten or wide range of issues, from charity to way, that our assumptions do not go But then again, we are so young eleven when I fi rst started really to marriage to homosexuality. unchallenged. we don’t need to be. When we hear question the beliefs which had been I’m perfectly aware that there are While I have no problem confronting the story of the feeding of the fi ve handed down to me. Years later, and plenty of religious people who explore Christians, I must admit I’m a little thousand, many of us are literal- after much thought, I defi ne myself as the reasoning behind the teach- more hesitant in chiding what I see to minded enough to believe that it’s an atheist. I don’t dismiss the possibil- ings they are expected to follow, and be the archaic views of other faiths, for absolutely true. At one point, probably ity that there might be something ‘out many dismiss the worst of these as fear of causing upset. But this should feeling the effects of peer-pressure, I there’, but I plan to live my life without unfortunate relics of the past. But few be welcomed. Religious people should ask my mother to take me to church the expectation of having to answer for scrutinise their beliefs to the extent accept that there will be ignorance on Sunday. Nobody sets out to indoc- myself at the end of it. they should, and it’s not hard to see and, instead of taking offence to this, trinate us, but they manage it all the I count myself lucky that I confronted why. Perhaps the main lesson to be seek to educate. And where they can’t same. Christian beliefs eventually, although drawn from the examples of Abraham answer for their beliefs, they ought Flash forward to 2010. Sixteen years I resent not being made to challenge and Moses – who feature in all three seriously to consider discarding them. have passed since I fi rst entered educa- them in the fi rst instance. What angers Abrahamic religious texts – is that Because as long as there are people out tion. Fourteen of these were spent in and worries me even more, though, is we must believe unquestioningly. For there who unquestioningly believe – faith schools – which I attended not the fact that many – especially those Christians, this is stated explicitly. and don’t subject their faith to scrutiny because of the religious aspects, but with religious parents – never go Jesus’ words to Thomas the Apostle, – I’ll do my best to enjoy my life, but I because my parents believed they through the questioning process. They after Thomas touches his wounds, won’t be able to stop worrying. DE Features Editor: Lydia Onyett 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk magazinE17

LYDia mORRiS-JOnES

The Interview: A.C. Grayling Rhys Treharne talks to the best-selling philosopher about losing faith while keeping hope

C. Grayling is not an atheist. the time flicking scrunched up balls mostly of books that had been left this. For a renowned academic he Nor is he an a-goblinist, an of paper at each another. But then behind by British expats, most of whom seems surprisingly laid-back – almost A.a-fairiest, or an a-pixieist. He one day we had a new chaplain who, had died of awful tropical diseases. But avuncular. And yet, behind those recognises no label that describes his rather unlike the meek gentleman he amongst the books was a complete set professorial rimless glasses there lies lack of belief in the Loch Ness Monster, had replaced, read out the collect of of Plato’s dialogues, and at the age of a serious and reflective philosopher; or his scepticism about the existence of the day by affecting all these revival- twelve I very randomly picked out the the self-deprecation may be disarming the Tooth Fairy. “Terms like atheist”, ist, evangelical hollers and shouts.” Charmides. I was bowled over by it, I but that’s only because, more often he laments, “are meaningless; they’re The stress this new preacher placed, thought it was absolutely wonderful.” than not, it’s followed up by some usually employed by theists to collec- in particular, upon the vowels of the Soon Grayling would return to Britain profound, aphoristic quip. And what tivise those who disagree with them.” word ‘inspiration’ seemed to grab the and to the University of Sussex and about the corollary, what makes A.C. Grayling, the current Professor of attention of the young Grayling. “By later Magdalen College, Oxford to read Grayling happy? “I believe in the good Philosophy at Birkbeck, University of the sheerest coincidence, just the philosophy. life – and by ‘good’ I don’t mean to London and Fellow of both the Royal preceding week I’d been reading about Today, Grayling is the author of a sound like a goody-two-shoes. After all Society of Literature and of the Arts, the Greek view of inspiration and how library of books and countless articles, there as many ‘good lives’ as there are much prefers the term “free-thinker”. “I the muses supposedly breathed into ranging from the theory of knowledge people to live them. But for me, having did once describe myself as a naturalist, you the poetry, like they did Homer. So to the impact of faith schools on social fun, forming productive relationships, as opposed to a super-naturalist, but I approached this chaplain and said, cohesion. But he remains best known and searching for meaning in life are people kept on getting it confused with ‘Inspiration, that’s a very interesting for his anti-religious writings, and the most important parts to our great naturist and began casting aspersions concept, can you give me something to doesn’t seem too perturbed by that. I enterprise. Our lives are less than a on what I did with my weekends.” read about this Christianity business?’ asked him whether he ever becomes thousand months long, and we spend Interviews with Professor Grayling He did and as a studious little chap I frustrated by the seemingly endless at least a third of that in the shower or often begin with categorisations: the went off and read it.” Upon his return, debate between the faithful and the in Tesco. We must make the most it.” public intellectual, the lion-maned Grayling proudly announced that he faithless. “The trick is not to get angry Grayling is a contented soul, but he philosopher, the outspoken critic of had completed his reading, but he had with the individual, but rather with worries for those who waste their lives religion. I began by asking him about a query: “My question was simple, ‘how the idea. Whenever I’m speaking seeking to make the right propitia- the source of that final description. can you possibly believe all this stuff?’” at a conference, I often find myself tions, and to the right God, in the hope Did his lack of faith appear to him, so The response was a simply one. “He placed on a panel of some sort next that the party of life will continue long to speak, as an epiphany, or did he said to me that ‘every morning I wake to a Catholic, a Muslim, a Jew and after the lights have been switched off. feel, to paraphrase Pascal’s Wager, “so up and I pray, “Oh Lord, I believe, but an Anglican. Combined, these people “The ‘good’ is too various for anyone to made as not to believe”? help thou mine unbelief,”’ to which I represent about eight per cent of the offer a defining vision of it, but that, I “I certainly wasn’t born a replied, ‘Ah, so you don’t believe this worshipping population of this country. suppose, is the great beauty of secular- non-believer, but I think I can trace stuff either!’” I’m there, ostensibly, to represent the ism. A pluralist, secularist society its starting point.” As a young pupil Professor Grayling was a colonial atheist, secular, and humanist tradi- offers us freedom of choice and has at an Anglican boys’ boarding school, baby. Having been born in Zambia, a tion. I often tell the audience that the replaced the totality of the religious each morning Grayling would find colony in which he says the only two only reason there’s only one of me, and and absolutist states of the past. To my himself being marched along to chapel entertainments were adultery and four of them, is that none of them can mind, it’s the only form of society that for prayers. “None of us used to take golf, he spent much of his childhood get along with each other.” offers us the chance of true individual any notice, we’d usually spend most of in a curious local library. “It consisted Grayling reclines and smiles at happiness.” 29th October 2010 Arts Editors: Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic 18 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] ‘Everyone shares the same fundamental worries and dreams’ Ceci Mourkogiannis talks to student Olly Rees about his new nostalgic project When I Grow Up

lly Rees doesn’t want to be an involved will be given a nifty little When artist. “In fact,” he says, “I was so I Grow Up Kit – a charming packet Orubbish at art back in school that fi lled with enough envelopes, tracing I dropped it as soon as I could. I really paper and stationery-based goodies to can’t draw at all.” True as that may be, thrill even the most over-eager Ryman’s Olly’s self-proclaimed lack of hand-eye enthusiast. Participants in the project co-ordination certainly hasn’t stopped are asked to doodle, snap and write him from livening up the Cambridge about their past, in an attempt to visual arts scene with a series of quirky, capture what exactly it is that has made interactive art initiatives. Over the them who they are, or who they’d like to past year, Olly has treated Cambridge be. residents to a variety of user-friendly A psychology student at Jesus, Olly projects, which have included a break- acknowledges that the concept of When fast delivery service, an outdoor Memory I Grow Up stems from his interests Tent fi lled with contributors’ personal in mental development and personal memorabilia, and an exhibition featur- identity: “I fi nd it amazing that we’re ing anonymously submitted photos all so similar, at this base level. By taken on free disposable cameras. asking people the same questions, you “I like working with contributions from see that everyone shares the same the public,” Olly explains, “because it fundamental worries and dreams. I stops me from looking pretentious.” Olly was talking to a medic the other day, needn’t worry. To be honest, he probably who told me that scientists can more or wouldn’t come off as pretentious even less locate the precise part of the brain if he stuck a Parisian beret in formal- where memories are made and stored. dehyde and exhibited it at the Saatchi The idea that you could hold something gallery under a pseudonym. Whilst physical in your hands that partially found-object art and user-generated defi nes who someone is, well…that’s installation pieces are liable to induce defi nitely something, isn’t it?” unfavourable associations with Emin If you’re interested in getting involved overkill and herds of American Apparel- with When I Grow Up contact Olly at ed foundation-art-schoolers, Olly’s [email protected]. insistence that art should engage people, not isolate them, is characteristic of the welcoming atmosphere his projects create. To some extent, Olly’s work is a product of his concern that people see modern art as “too dangerous and too self-indulgent”. Olly continues, “Cambridge is full of unbelievably intel- ligent, focused people. But when people are too focused on just one thing, it sometimes means they tend to view art as a luxury. It is, I guess, but an impor- tant one.” As secretary of The Shop on Jesus Lane, one of Cambridge’s only public art spaces, Olly is keen to raise the profi le of the visual arts in a city where theatre and literature have tradi- tionally been given pride of place. For his latest project, When I Grow Up, Olly is compiling a physical archive of people’s memories, images, stories, fears and dreams on the subject of coming of age, which will be exhibited in The Shop later this term. Anyone who wants to be Arts Editors: Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 19

Elizabeth Donnelly and Susie Cronin record their experiences of the When I Grow Up preoject Time to face the music nside a When I Grow Up Kit are the often, especially because I never really instructions ‘DRAW’ and ‘DREAM’. knew that grandmother. Perhaps it e often hear IWhen presenting infl uences on my will infl uence how I bond with my own stories of TV and life in a visual way, I found I really had grandchildren. Wfi lm “marathons”, to ignore the ‘adult’ urge to pick up a And then there is the most interest- where groups of over- pen and describe my path to maturity. ing facet of this project: identifying enthusiastic teenagers However, in creating my collage of your biggest fear about becoming an CALLUM HOLMES spend hours – indeed, seven unrelated images I realised adult. As Bette Davis said, “Old age WILLIAMS days – watching every that this simple, unsophisticated way ain’t no place for sissies,” and it was episode of Lost, Star of remembering is far more effec- refreshing to fi nd that the project does Wars, or whatever Emmy or Oscar- tive – and enjoyable! – than scribbling not seek to completely romanticise winning production is currently in a mini-memoir. It is a reminder of a the concept of growing up, but rather vogue. Yet, while recently bedrid- time when, many years ago, colour- reminds you that nobody fi nds it easy. den with fl u, I wondered why we ing pencils and make-believe were my I dread the possibility that one day, cannot pursue the same obsessive central mode of expression. My collec- when I’m an old woman, I might look activity when engaging with music. tion of pictures includes Peter Pan, the back and realise I let my younger self Mahler’s nine (completed) sympho- childhood hero, Lionel Shriver and down in some way. When I wrote this nies presented themselves as an Isabel Allende, my favourite writers, on a piece of card, placed it alongside ideal candidate for such an experi- and other images of places and faces I my scrawl of memories and cluster of ment; 13 hours of dense, stylistically loved when growing up. pictures, and thought a bit, I concluded varied orchestral music for which I Next comes the selection of memories that this project really is quite useful. had never ascribed any conceptual that make “you the person you are It won’t unlock the secret to growing unity. today”. I chose my earliest memory: old gracefully, or reveal exactly why I listened to the Israeli conductor Singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle, Little you turned out the way you have, but Gary Bertini’s version in chronologi- Star’ for my hospitalised grandmother it’s nevertheless a charming reminder cal order – without break – and in when I was two and a half might of what you have lived and learnt, and so doing a number of things struck not have had the most profound what you are still aiming to achieve, me. We live in a fragmentary world effect on my development, but it is during your time as a ‘grown-up’. ED in which ‘the death of the album’ is certainly something I think about frequently proclaimed, the three- minute single is reifi ed, and sound has now become so sanitised that we can hardly believe that humans were responsible for its creation in the fi rst place. ‘Old age ain’t no Listening to Mahler’s symphonies in their marathon form, by contrast, forcefully illustrated that we can resist and move beyond this deper- sonalised commodifi cation of music. place for sissies’ For instance, try as we might, we cannot – nor should we – remove he When I Grow Up underneath your lunchbox. the imprint of the author from their Kit sounds a little Alas, that is not what the kit is for. art. Taking pleasure in the similar Tbit like it’s been It’s miniature, delicate sheets are major-minor change in both the designed especially for intended for childhood scribblings, 6th and 7th symphonies, or in the distribution to a gaggle hopes, dreams and fears. Resurrecting distinctive waltzes of the 1st, 2nd of nine-year-olds, wide the past and dispersing it via pigeon- and 9th symphonies, may seem of eye and scabby of knee, hole: so far, so lovely. But if there’s one frivolous and academic, yet it helps by an exhausted school- thing that’s apparent in this world, it’s us to view Mahler’s music as an teacher who’s in no mood that you can’t rush nostalgia. That’s ongoing process of organic creation, for drawing whiteboard why I saved my reminiscences for late not merely as the ‘end product’ that diagrams. And, just at night, in the library. So there I was can be found on Kiss or Capital FM. like a wet playtime amid the rows of books and dust with a Likewise, the tired brass players activity, I was smile spread across my face in blissful towards the end of the sprawling delighted to discover remembrance of the happier-than-I’d- 90-minute 2nd symphony, who come that the pack is ever-like-to-admit proportion of my in earlier and earlier as the fi nal charmingly small, childhood. movement progresses, as well as all tight and brown- Growing up was, for a born and bred the woodblock player who isn’t quite enveloped and ready to Culchie (a person from rural Ireland) syncopated enough in the third stuff, red-faced, an experience riddled with muck, 20p movement of the 5th, show that pick ’n’ mix and catholic supervillains. we should not try to remove fl awed You weren’t to stick your head out humanity from the act of musical the car window because Valerie said creation. it’d get chopped off. Uncle Pat could We should instead be encouraged lift a ram by the horns as if it were a to celebrate mistakes, inconsisten- cumulus cloud: the kit has raked cies and stylistic progression, rather all this up from under leafy than viewing music as something layers of Cambridge, and I’ll to be consumed and then forgot- be stuck in a state of nostalgia ten about instantly. Noone needs until the next time I say “Is wild to be reminded of the insecurity mushroom, Red Leices- and messiness of day-to-day life; ter and chutney the we should, however, celebrate this, only panini you have?” rather than hiding behind a façade SC of drum machines, auto-tuning and all those 79p downloads. With the last, barely audible D-minor of the 9th, Mahler’s symphony cycle demonstrated this perfectly. 29th October 2010 Magazine Editor: Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 20 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Food and Drink My degree: Engineering LETTICE FRANKLIN woke up today at 08:00 builds bridges? Me. Well not London so I got to have a stuff down. Anyway, hours (8 hours ago) and had me specifi cally, not yet anyway, drive with the vintage that was mum with am an egg-nostic. I I breakfast – I’ve recently but my genre of person. carburetor redux engine some quite annoy- am not at all sure built a machine that turns You can have all your I’ve ironically (and, in ing news actually. I whether I believe in toast back into bread. My Shakespeares and your other reality, very stupidly) She’s demanding God. I do, however, believe housemates said it couldn’t poetwrights, but they’re no put into my Ford Fiesta. that I remove the wholeheartedly in the (and shouldn’t) be done, but use if they can’t get from A 0-60 we’re talking four lattice suspen- goodness of eggs. An I was tucking into the busi- to B are they? It’d be no use seconds fl at, six seconds sion frigate I put egg makes me seriously ness end of a piece of bread being Shakespeare and going, on a slope, and just one on our roof. To consider the existence of this morning so who’s laugh- “Ooh, I need to get across that second if you’re already be fair, it has some higher force. I mean, ing now? I am, but in fair- river to buy a pencil case so at 50. The only problem crushed the they are just egg-cellent – ness that’s only because I’m I can keep my pens/pencils is the engine’s now house. I should please egg-scuse me if I get watching You’ve Been Framed. safely in a case,” and then not much bigger than the point out that overly hen-thusiastic, I’m I walked to lectures on my being able to because there’s car itself so I can’t get I’m writing this passionate about this. Segway and started thinking no bridge. So he’d drop all his insurance because offi cially it on a computer Enclosed within a perfect out loud (talking) with a friend pencils or misplace them, and is “genuinely very dangerous”. I’ve made out geometrical shape and that about how great engineering is. not have one to hand when a Wait a second, my mum’s of yoghurt. That fun fi lm, like a present Because it’s all very well writ- good idea popped into his head. phoning me. “What Mum? means I’ll have from a really worthwhile ing a book, but when did a book Luckily London Bridge was No…why? OK,OK. Well, can to type it up on a godparent, wrapped not actually change anything? En- there in Shakespeare’s day, so I call you back in a bit? I’m normal one later, so I only in beautiful thick gineering is bloody useful. Like he always had the pencils he writing an article.” OK, KATE hope you appreciate wrapping paper but also a what do you use to get across needed. I’m back. God, I defi nitely JONES my efforts. layer of tissue paper, eggs water? A bridge. And who Yesterday I had to go to shouldn’t have written that As told to Alex Owen offer so much, including the possibility to crack some seriously good yokes, even SOCIAL NETWORKING: Shakes-FEAR 2.0 iColour (buy 1 get Chiller-Twitter 10 when you’re not the best NEXT TOP THREE (£2.99) 1 free) £/$ Fear the beats. No.1 OI! Grey-boy! Liven Want to tweet like comedi-hen. NEW APPS “An egg is always an bestselling app in yourself up with your mates but adventure; the next one Japan, Norway, Asia. iColour. Just take haven’t got time? This may be different,” said Put your favourite Shake- a photo of a colour and this app randomly selects from 3 Oscar Wilde. Wilde’s legacy spearian speeches to some world-wide best-selling app possible tweets every hour. is continued and, I’d say, dramatic dub-step beats. To will tell you what it’s called, 1) That was such a good lunch! outdone, by another far be or not to beat. Feel the beat. even if it’s a rare one. [Get 2) Can’t wait for tonight. from medi-yolk-re fi gure Beat. iColour pro for the blue and 3) www.youporn/raven(haired) a.k.a. Remy of ‘Remy Eats green expansion pack.] milf-seeks-redemption.com Balut’ YouTube fame. Remy, a blonde cherub who looks about 3, introduces us to “the most adventurous food YouTube Horrors [he’s] ever eaten,” which is, you’ve guessed it, an Trick or treat? Most of these Hallowe’en videos are a egg, but one with, um, a partially-developed embryo mixture of both – fun for you, worrying for humanity inside. The camera zooms LEGUMAN in on Remy’s slowly tearing blue eyes, his pouting If you’re looking for a way to use mouth trembling with fear, your pumpkin once the holiday and then pans down to his season is over, take some tips from gastronomic treat: complete Leguman as the French man of veg- with membranes, veins, etables saves le jour encore une fois. bones, eyes and, as Remy gleefully exclaims while I retch quietly to myself and look up the RSPCC’s number, “blood EVERYWHERE”. MARY POPPINS RECUT TRAILER Someone can feed me balut ovum-y dead body. Was Mary Poppins that favourite Give me instead the humble childhood rainy Sunday afternoon boiled egg, providing a fi lm? Not anymore it’s not... soothing start to the day, a fi rm friend, the proverbial good egg, with a heart of gold. I do, however, frequently embrace HALLOWE’EN CAT adventure when it comes to soldiers. Exchange toast Self styled comedy-man Mark Day for asparagus and you have pushes his relationship with his cat yourself a really egg-citing to the limits of indignity. combination, appropriate for any time of day: 1. Cut the ends of six stalks of asparagus 2. Boil asparagus for 5 minutes 3. Pour a kettle of boiled water ‘HALLOWEEN’ - HELLOWEEN into a sauce pan then lower The Varsitorialist one egg (because un oeuf The band is Helloween, the song is is enough) into it 4. Boil Cottia Thorowgood, 3rd-year Anthropologist, Sidney ‘Halloween’, and Leguman makes a for 4.5 minutes (true and cameo appearance – yeah, we have “Everything I’m wearing is both home-made and vintage. I can literally no idea what’s going on. tested) 5. Take off the egg’s assure you that the working conditions were extremely ethical. ” top and dip each spear in.

IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED BY THE VARSITORIALIST, EMAIIL [email protected] Reviews and Listings Editor: Julia Lichnova & David Shone 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk LISTINGS 21 Listings Pick of the Week Carmen Elektra: Opera Underground Cambridge’s Got Talent UNIVERSITY MUSEUM OF ZOOLOGY, FRIDAY 29TH OCTOBER, 20.00 (FREE, SUGGESTED DONATION £3) CAMBRIDGE UNION CHAMBER, SUNDAY 31ST OCTOBER, 20.00 (£3) Taxidermy takes on a new tune with Cambridge’s underground If the promotional video is to be believed, this could opera night, staged in the Museum of Zoology. Featuring a live involve anything. Remember, these kids are trying performance of new electro-acoustic opera Bonesong as well for the top prize – free entry FOR LIFE into any Big as fi lm projections, light installations, DJ sets, and a staging of Fish event (and some other things). That’s crazy, and Gruber’s Frankenstein!!, it’ll make you shiver to the bone. hopefully entertaining. Also, there will be free pizza.

Music Talks Film & Nightlife Theatre Arts & Events

Third Annual Cambridge Friday 29th October Journey’s End Specialist Art Talks Friday 29th October ADC THEATRE MAINSHOW, 19.45, TUES 2ND - SAT 6TH Festival of Ukranian Film Carmen Elektra: Opera NOVEMBER (£10-£6) On Japanese Gardens Emma SAFE Pumpking ARTS PICTUREHOUSE, 19.00 (FRIDAY 5TH) Underground Set in 1918 in the KETTLE’S YARD, SAT 30TH OCTOBER, 16.00 (FREE) Carving Competition WINSTANLEY THEATRE, TRINITY COLLEGE, 7PM UNIVERSITY MUSEUM OF ZOOLOGY, FRIDAY 29TH Dr Raggett, Reader in FRI 29TH OCT - SUN 31ST OCT (£4 T0 ENTER) (SATURDAY 6TH) French trenches, OCTOBER, 20.00 (FREE, SUGGESTED DONATION £3) Pick Gardens and Designed Showcase of Ukranian fi lms old this classic play The prize: four See Pick of the Week. of the Landscapes, is an and new. Two 1920s fi lms by comments on the week free formal expert on the devel- Oleksandr Dovzhenko are accom- Saturday 30th October personal changes Arts places. To opment of Japanese panied by a live piano performance brought about by enter, just Music with Something to Say gardens and their infl uence on on the Friday, and a UK premiere THE CAFE PROJECT, 22 JESUS LANE, 19.00 (FREE, the terrible condi- sign up (on SUGGESTED DONATION £3) Western landscape design. of acclaimed new Ukranian shorts tions your own or Acoustic ‘DIY’ night with free Jerks – Arabesques will be shown of Pick in a pair) for tea and food. Involves hippies, of the on the Saturday. war, exploring them a pumpkin on anarchists and lots of folk. week through vivid charac- e a t r e one of the sheets The Kids Are All Right terisation. “The nature around the College, ARTS PICTUREHOUSE, 14.10, 18.50, 21.15 Martin Yates conducts by Friday evening. You will receive (MON-SAT), 11.45 (MON-TUES, THURS- of war never changes, but war SAT), 16.20, 18.50, 21.15 SUN CUMS I your pumpkin on Sunday morning, WEST ROAD CONCERT HALL, 20.00 always changes the natures of The lives of two (£5 STUDENTS) those who have to wage it.” One to and judging will take place on suburban siblings are The University’s most watch. Sunday evening. All profi ts will go changed forever when fortunately titled to SAFE, the Southern African their mums reveal that symphony orchestra Hatch II Fund for Education. Any questions, they are, unsurpris- performs Bax, Walton, CORPUS PLAYROOM, MON 1ST NOVEMBER, 21.30 (£5) There will be an opportunity to email [email protected]. Second installment make a Japanese tea-house at the ingly, lesbians, and that Rachmaninov. Featuring Saturday 30th October the sperm used to create Robbie Stanley Smith. of very successful end of her talk. Fungal Foray them is back on the scene. Not new student writing Ongoing exhibitions Halloween Murder Mystery showcase. Plays, CAMBRIDGE BOTANIC GARDEN, 14.00 to be confused with The Kids are Art Jamaica - 17.00 (SMALL CHARGE) Alright, a fi lm about The Who. Party monologues and Organised by the CAMBRIDGE UNION, 20.00 (FREE TO UNION MEMBERS) poetry readings in a Cambridge Natural A spooky and Cluedo-like evening warm, cosy setting. Gotta love those Paranormal Activity 2 History Society, this Shaggy Ink Caps VUE, 12:00, 14:10, 16:25, 18:40, 21:00 (EVERY DAY), where you will attempt to unravel 23.20 (FRI-SUN, WED) is an opportunity to the mystery of a murder in the Naked Stage “Makes you scared to go home explore and record the Union while drunk and wearing an ADC THEATRE, SUN 31ST OCTOBER, 19.00 (£6/£5) alone.” Second installment in Pick fungal fl ora with local unforgiveable outfi t. Like Cluedo, The sellout staged reading series spooky house series that became of the experts. Meet at 2pm surprisingly fun. from Cambridge’s open scriptwrit- week an international sensation last ing forum, WRiTEON. Short plays MURRAY EDWARDS COLLEGE, THE JOCELYN BELL Events at the Brookside Gate. year, only this time – with money. BURNELL ROOM, 22 OCT - 18 NOV in development, lightly staged, in a The fi rst exhibition in the UK Will it go where the second Blair near-bare studio. devoted to a female Jamaican Tuesday 2nd November Witch could not, and not be bloody artist. The works are concerned awful? Only one way to fi nd out... e Birthday Party Artspeak CORPUS PLAYROOM, 19.30, TUES 2ND - SATURDAY with Jamaican identity and its FITZWILLIAM MUSEUM, 6TH NOVEMBER culture, the place of women and the 13.15 Burke and Hare Pinter’s fi rst play explores the Just turn up VUE, 14.20, 16.40, 19.00, 21.20 (DAILY), 23.30 (FRI-SUN, female body. WED) horrors that lie beneath the and enjoy half Two Irish guys (Simon Pegg and mundane surface of everyday Thomas Lawrence: Regency an hour of Andy Serkis with incredibly dodgy Sunday 31st October life. If you have ever found a dead Power and Brilliance looking at and accents) make a ‘business opportu- mouse under your toaster, this is talking about Cambridge’s Got NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY, 21 OCT - 23 JAN nity’ out of a cadaver shortage. Pick the play for you. No, really – this art. Meet in of the Talent See the glossy works of the CAMBRIDGE UNION CHAMBER, play almost ended Pinter’s career, the Courtyard week SUNDAY 31ST OCTOBER, 20.00 (£3) Regency painter Music then became a classic. Intriguing. Entrance, See Pick of the Week. who made Byron 2pm. Byronic, actors Tuesday 2nd November and actresses Thursday 4th November Cambridge University theatrical, and Meditation Class Lunchtime Concerts Queens and Kings GODWIN ROOM, OLD COURT, CLARE COLLEGE, 19.30 WEST ROAD CONCERT HALL, 13.10 (FREE) decidedly royal An introduction to meditation and Part of a series showcasing the and elegant. “The mindfulness. These weekly classes University’s top musical talent. This greatest British have been held in the University week: Harry Ogg conducts Schoe- portrait painter of since 1963, teaching a meditation nberg’s Verklärte Nacht Op. 4, in “Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?” his generation.” Elizabeth Farren, Later based on attention to the breath. association with CUMS. – NPG Countess of Derby (1790) All are welcome. Bring a cushion.

TO HAVE SOMETHING LISTED ON THESE PAGES, E-MAIL JULIA LICHNOVA AT [email protected] BY NO LATER THAN MONDAY ON THE WEEK OF PUBLICATION. 29th October 2010 Reviews Editor: Julia Carolyn Lichnova 22REVIEWS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

Album 54th BFI London Film Festival Reviews 13th-28th October In a time of uncertainty for British fi lm, the nation’s premier cinema showcase sends a reminder that the UK fi lm industry is not yet dead

North DARKSTAR 

Darkstar’s full-length debut is bleak. Besides the well-worn jokes about it being “grim up north”, Aiden Whalley and James Young have recaptured a melan- cholia that the region seems to excel in. ‘Deadness’ and ‘Gold’ (itself a Human League cover) convey a lassitude and frailty that unmistakably allude to Joy Division. But North is much more than a piss-poor attempt at Ian Curtis hero-worship. Distorted synths on tracks such as ‘Ostkreuz’ deliberately create “Hilariously posh swearing”: The King’s Speech Not Happy: The Arbor images of sci-fi cinema. ‘Dear Heartbeat’, ‘Under One icking off with one of those fi lms that caters The Arbor focuses on Bradford- appears on the big screen for the Roof’ and ‘North’ use prominent Never Let exclusively to the American imagi- born playwright Andrea Dunbar fi rst time in Patagonia, a Welsh- drum loops to offer catchi- KMe Go, Mark nation and its impressions of the and her life growing up on the language drama about the much ness in an album that seems to Romanek’s star- English elite, cramming more notoriously deprived Buttershaw romanticised Welsh settlement in consciously shy away from this studded counterpart vowels into the word ‘here’ than Estate, recreating scenes from her Latin America, which turns out asset. North would be hard to sell to Kazuo Ishig- should be legally allowed. Having plays in the streets where they not to be the Utopia for which the as a pleasurable experience, but it PHIL MAUGHAN uro’s hit novel of said that, King Firth’s sensitivity, were written to produce a creepy emigrants had originally hoped. undeniably exudes quality. the same name, the diverse and bravery and bouts of hilariously and moving literary biopic. The London Film Festival NATHANAEL ARNOTT-DAVIES overwhelming 54th BFI London posh swearing, complemented by Richard Ayoade, best known is just so huge there’s no way Film Festival went from strength his unorthodox Australian speech as the nerdy, incompetent Moss anyone can see everything to strength this year, screening therapist (Geoffrey Rush), make they’d like to. Two intriguing 137 fi lms and 112 shorts across 20 the fi lm a funny and genuinely fi lms I missed include Howl, the screens throughout October. moving exposé on a very personal Dark, experimental story of America’s most notori- Major international fi lms battle with disability. It is, under- ous poem, with scholar-starlet included Darren Aronofsky’s The standably, one of the highlights of and introspective: James Franco playing Allen Black Swan, starring Natalie the festival. Ginsberg, and Chongqing Blues, Portman as a bloody-minded One of the best things about full of stories in which a middle-aged man must dedicate of the New York Ballet; a festival of such scale is the return home to fi nd out why his Come Around Sundown Another Year, the latest humanis- possibility for experimentation: about individuals son has been gunned down by KINGS OF LEON ing suburban drama from Mike getting lost, going for a wander and local police, confronting the new  Leigh; and the Palme d’Or winner turning up with cinematic gems. and their personal market-driven cultural revolution from Cannes 2010, Uncle Boonmee In what appeared to be a private spreading through modern China. ‘Radioactive’ fuelled expectations Who Can Recall His Past Lives, members’ club in Soho (but not that crises What with masterclasses, talks, that the band was returning to defi nitely one to watch. kind of club), I watched the prolifi c workshops and (to fi t the regal raw, south-eastern sounds. Sadly, Another much-touted offering, French actress Isabelle Huppert’s from Channel 4’s The IT Crowd, fl avour) fi lm-maker afternoon these hopes are extinguished The King’s Speech, featuring Colin Copacabana in a tiny, but oh-so- made his directorial debut with teas, I could have easily whiled in a formulaic, overly emotional Firth as a stammering, uncoop- comfy, cinema. Not her best work, Submarine: an idiosyncratic away October doing little else. The fi fth album. Drearily slow-paced erative George VI sent media but nonetheless a quaint tale of coming-of-age comedy about a boy bottom line, it seems, is that the fi rst track ‘The End’ sums up the Twitterers a-Tweeting when it urban disenchantment certainly from Swansea determined to save coming year in fi lm looks dark, album perfecty: mellow stadium premiered midway through the worthy of a lazy Sunday afternoon. his parents’ marriage armed only experimental and introspective: rock blighted by unsatisfactory Festival. Back across the Channel, British with an extensive vocabulary and full of stories about individuals and tributes to the likes of the Eagles It’s a British period drama, fi lms reminded the audience that absolute self-confi dence. Staying their personal crises. Bring it on, and Don Healey, as heard in the likes of which I tend to avoid: it’s not all pomp and circumstance. with the Welsh theme, Duffy I say. ‘Beach Side’, inspired by ‘Boys of Summer’. Caleb’s tiresome vocals spill over complacent CLASSICAL unheard of. Ralph de Souza, the communicate; given that they to hear them refer fondly to the lyrics in ‘Pyro’, not forgetting second violinist, is still teasingly made musical conversation seem sold-out West Road Concert Hall that cringeworthy guitar solo referred to as the newbie; he only as natural as breathing, perhaps as their “home audience” gave me a in ‘Mary’. Good tracks include Endellion joined 28 years ago. it was more just watching them nostalgia-ridden ‘Back Down So how does this affect their co-exist. Ordinarily I am a big fan South’, breaking up the monotony String Quartet playing, or what we see of it? Their of eye contact in chamber music, with its sing-along chorus accom- intonation, fl uidity of phrasing but the Endellions barely looked The second violinist panied by a barn dance fi ddle, West Road Concert Hall and sensitivity to one another at each other. And they didn’t and ‘Radioactive’, which provides is certainly unimpeachable. But need to. There were together at is still teasingly much-needed joy to the overall  what gave me real every moment; I don’t mean the melancholy. But it’s not enough, joy was to same place on the page, but referred to as ‘The and disappointingly, the album veryone who writes about watch together in the infi nitesi- falls fl at. JENNA CORDEROY the Endellion String them mal glimmers of detail. Newbie’ – he only EQuartet will mention the They were as fact that they have been playing one through the joined 28 years ago together for thirty years. I wasn’t gasping still- going to mention it, but then I ness, to the secret thrill. A look from someone Also Online changed my mind, not only because chin-shaking, on my left told me that they, along it is important and remarkable b o w - fl y i n g with the other 494 people in the (indeed here I am, remarking it), conclusions. audience, were thinking the same Online highlights: but also because it is so blissfully The Quartet thing. What a pleasure to see one apparent when you hear – and see is known to of the best quartets in the world CUCO Season Launch concert – them play together. This “intense be one of the play a programme that couldn’t Annual New Cambridge Writers’ menage-a-quatre” (as cellist David fi nest in the have been better: Shostakovich’s Poetry Reading Waterman called it) has been world. They are eighth string quartet (Op. 110) and going on for three decades. For a now in their 19th Beethoven’s Op. 59 No. 1? Why Randomness & Risk quartet to still be playing together, year of residency thank you, kind Endellions, you are in its original formation, is almost in Cambridge, and too generous. KATYA HERMAN Reviews Editor: Julia Carolyn Lichnova 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk REVIEWS 23

CLASSICAL shone among the soloists, with an impressively secure coloratura in his aria proving the highlight of Classical v. Clubnight Classics from Cantata evensong the cantata. Basil McDonald’s oaky bass did indeed make the listener The Crypt St John’s College feel safe and secure; a vocal talent We asked Sam Gould, whose musical interests include Chapel to watch. Soprano soloist Elizabeth hip-hop, grime and R&B, to sit through a concert of Joyce was less steady in both her e Body Snatcher (1945)  recitative and aria, perhaps lacking classical music. Here is the result the intensity of voice necessary to impart Picander’s reassuring sheer skill exhibited, especially in words. Lunchtime concert the more dizzying, rapid sections. Instrumentalists from the Kettle’s Yard It seemed to be a standard experi- ourists fi ling past Wilber- world-class Baroque ensemble, the ence for the regulars, shutting force’s feet to St John’s Orchestra of the Age of Enlighten-  their eyes and nodding softly like TCollege Chapel last Satur- trance fans tripping on Tiësto, and day were met with two welcome they were completely sober! surprises. Not only were their efore going to Kettle’s Yard What held me back from this Euro-puffa jackets unnecessary The cantata was my only encounter with the immersion were the structures (unlike an impoverished parish Bword symphony had been and timings, silent features which church, John’s can afford central performed just as when grime MC Ghetts rapped, make a genre comprehensible. If The studio system certainly had heating), but the music presented “I make the gyaldem sing for me/ its merits. Hopelessly compro- to enhance the evening’s worship it would have been It sounds sick like a symphony.” mised budgets meant that an un- was a cut above the usual, slightly If someone whose last hit was heralded character player could under-rehearsed Cambridge choral in 1726, as part of a called ‘Artillery’ could fi nd time “I make the be given the chance to shine. evensong. This was no litany of for some strings then I should be Neglected Henry Daniell, previ- Herbert Howells. church service. able to listen to a couple of hours gyaldem sing for ously responsible for a terrifying Choral evensong is an Anglican of Bartók, Webern, Schumann Brocklehurst in Jane Eyre and a creation, not entirely refl ective ment, provided a sensitive underlay and Schubert, the latest on the me/It sounds sick reptilian Moriarty in The Woman of the lengthy Sunday masses to for the singers, later showcasing European scene c.1850-1950. in Green emerges triumphant which Bach’s Leipzig congrega- their virtuosic skill. Their rendi- There were some interesting like a symphony.” here. This is Daniell’s fi nest hour tions would have been accustomed. tion of the Air from the third features: when talking at length in the movies, and he enacts the Yet the integration of a Bach Orchestral Suite (BWV 1068), about the music that was about one beautifully jarred violin riff tragedy of Dr MacFarlane with cantata as the evening’s anthem made famous from its use in The to be performed (not something (pardon the non-classical terminol- incisive, malignant brilliance. enabled Andrew Nethsinga, Direc- Spy who Loved Me in a gory shark many non-classical artists could ogy) was the centrepiece of the Roy Webb’s musical score, a haze tor of Music at John’s, to include attack scene, bristled with life, easily do) the geeky-looking head excellent fi nal quartet by Schubert, of moody Scottish ballads, marks what is arguably some of the best unlike the dragged-out renditions of the quartet informed us that I couldn’t understand why the rest this out as an unusually emotion- choral music ever written in the usually heard. Bartók sampled folk melodies from of the long-drawn-out composition al horror story. Such melancholy Chapel’s musical diary. The best thing about the little Hungarian villages to give was so eager to escape it on some is fi tting for the fi nal screen con- Many choirs would have fallen at evening? Being back on the Bach his compositions a distinct sound. rather tiring tangents. Why did frontation of Karloff and Lugosi: the fi rst hurdle of Es erhub sich ein cantata’s home turf. The cantata I don’t know what Hungarian folk the music keep stopping and start- Karloff, ablaze with Hogarthian Streit (BWV 19), “one of the most was performed just as it would melodies sound like, but I’ll take ing off somewhere else, and why glory and exalting in the skin- monumental opening choruses in have been in 1726, as part of a his word for it. Nor could I say that did the quartet keep walking off? crawling malevolence of Cabman all Bach’s cantatas” (Alfred Dürr), church service, only we were spoilt any of the pieces seemed “purely Cheeky bastards. Gray, and Lugosi, wasted by but not the choir of John’s. They by the voices of a 32-strong choir. lyrical” or “very funny”, as one I was disorientated and although morphine but never less than tackled Bach’s constant stream of In Bach’s day, if we are to believe audience member remarked, but the performers themselves seemed effective as the caretaker Joseph. fi ddly runs with gusto, summoning Parrott and Rifkin, there might there were certainly sections which fantastic I couldn’t be sure whether So literate is the script that it musical images of raging biblical have been just four singers on the quartet made thought provok- it was true brilliance or mere would work perfectly on stage; beasts. The treatment of Picander’s Sunday morning. Perhaps twelve. ing and emotional. Blitzkrieg. Classical music had a fi ne testament to a haunting poetry, both by soloists and choir, It would have been a lot chillier, As a newcomer and a poor thrown its own awesome artillery character study. JAMES SWANTON was sensitive and well-considered. too. musician myself, it was diffi cult of strings at me, and I was simply Tenor soloist Bradley Smith ELLY BRINDLE not to be too overwhelmed by the shellshocked.

MUSIC snippets of rhetoric like “You don’t ART Gallery’s eclectic selecting process need to be hungry to be happy” end helped to present the display as a up sounding like something from masterclass in Rolf Harris’s work Kate Nash Confucius. Even when Kate was Rolf Harris: throughout his career. Back to Basics Cambridge Junction simply bashing away on her piano Alas, I didn’t get to speak to the to some miscellaneous musing A Life in Art big man. I did stand near him while Sainsbury's Basics Apples  named ‘Foggy for Froggy’ I was Artique Gallery he came out to tell us that sitting susceptible to at least a smile and down for too long gave him a bad  ate Nash likes bouncing not a little controlled foot tapping. back; pretty much an interview. around a lot when she plays I might have whipped out an  I was, however, able to speak to Sainsbury’s Basics Apples are Kher bubble piano. She also energetic head nod if I hadn’t been Richard Colley, the ‘boss man’ of awesome. The poor little things, likes noises that aren’t words, but aybe it was the unrea- they haven’t quite made the are like words. I don’t like either of sonably long queue, the high-grade ‘Class 1’ standards these things. Random words Mliberal distribution of free that their fatter, pricier, better- In her performance of her latest champagne or even the three-inch Venetian sunsets, packaged brothers have reached. single, ‘Do-Wah-Doo’, she sings: and a bunch of square pencil sketches selling portraits of But man, are they versatile. One “Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom/Well for over £2,000. Whatever it was, week ‘Granny Smith’, the next I think she’s a bitch.” Now I’m no noises that could Artique’s new premises on Bridge animals...a bit of ‘Red Delicious’. They know how philanthropist, and I’m certainly Street was hosting something to keep me guessing. What is it no expert on Kate Nash lyrics, but r e d e n e f r u i t special. Having opened a few Rolf DNA that attracts me so? At £0.97 a I feel I have a duty to reassure weeks ago after moving from the bag, they are cheaper than chips, any confused youngsters that the machine music their cosy spot on Rose Crescent, even if the odd one is bruised or semi-verbal diarrhoea they were the gallery was already enjoying the Gallery. Amid clear excitement malformed. But more than the listening to was exactly that: so worried by the overgrown man a surge of attention even before for the popularity of not just Rolf’s price, it’s a class issue. Do I feel semi-verbal diarrhoea. Please next to me singing along a little too Rolf Harris’s exhibition came exhibition but also their new venue like a crusader, beating the big kids: don’t waste your time on enthusiastically to “I Want Your to town. This collection was a he spoke about the incredible value man by my budget choice? Far Googling it, there’s nothing wrong Kiss Boy”. baptism for the new gallery and (in every sense of the word) of some more than I have the right to. I with your hearing. Those were As long as the tone and themes all that extra wall space was put of the pieces displayed, describing relish the slight inadequacies of merely random words and a bunch (yes, there were a few) were pretty to good use hanging a broad range some as “a bit of Rolf DNA”. my ‘Class 2’ comrades. Even if I of noises that could redefi ne fruit well intentioned (the touch of self of original work by Harris, while At the age of 80 a degree of self- relish them with my machine music if they were given parody in Kate’s ‘Mariella’ and the man himself perched in a room refl ection from Harris is inevitable, organic bread and the right platform. Hell, pool them her own take on the teenage love at the back signing, chatting and and this is mirrored in his more cheese. It’s that together with one of Lily Allen’s song, ‘Birds’ made her seem more occasionally getting up to stretch recent liking of self-portraiture. bit of frugality tracks and you could have yourself approachable than Miss Allen), his legs. Personally I feel that, despite that makes a monopoly on nursery rhymes, or Kate came across more Sarah Cox The wide variety of subject being 100% polymath, Harris my snack inanity for that matter. than Jo Whiley on the interest- matter, medium and even price felt would rather be seen as an artist. just a Surprisingly, I’m talking about ing and likeable scales. When like an apt refl ection on the broad Undoubtedly he will be, and this little bit a singer who’s actually doing quite Foundations fi nally came on at range of Harris’s career. Concise exhibition demonstrates that the sweeter. well for herself. In a genre where the end of Kate’s set, “That voice and casually pencilled life models public’s conception of Harris and GAVIN gestures speak stronger than that you fi nd annoying” was still a hung next to broad vistas of Machu his own vision of how he wants to RUTTER sense, stamping on your piano as bit annoying, but I didn’t hate it. Pikchu, which hung above Venetian be remembered are close to becom- Kate did to close her encore is the That’s a compliment, I think. SAM sunsets, which in turn shoul- ing one and the same. equivalent of a memory wipe, and GOULD dered portraits of animals. The ANGUS MACDONALD 29th October 2010 Theatre Editor: Edward Herring 24THEATRE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Cat on a Hot Tin View from the Roof Groundlings ADC Mainshow (until Sat 30th) 

t is never easy to stage a Ten- nessee Williams script. All Ithose lines, all that domestic rage, and that southern drawl. This production of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof is successful at meeting these challenges and at telling this capti- vating story. EDWARD HERRING The play is about the Pollitts, a troubled, wealthy Southern was sat in the UL groping family, meeting at their vast cotton for obscure adjectives when plantation in Mississippi. They are II was grieved with the faint ostensensibly there to celebrate sensation of my bladder fi lling. I the 65th birthday of the family’s promptly arose and shuffl ed my patriarch, Big Daddy (Simon way toward the toilets. On my Haines), but all of the characters return, however, I found a lami- wife Maggie (Josephine Starte), tension, playing a wonderfully nated note lay eerily on top of my the ‘cat’ of the play’s title. Through understated yet visibly at-a-loss dishevelled papers which read: their intense interaction, the audi- Brick, moving believably from Haines was the “Mr Herring, if you are inter- This production ence learns of their respective meek and laconic as he listens to ested in theatre then seek out dissatisfactions within their mar- his wife in the fi rst act, to revela- most impressive as the book under this classmark: keeps Williams’ riage: Maggie’s desire for sexual tory and tragic by the end of the 415.d.97.84. Yours, An Admirer.” intimacy and children and for her production. an aging redneck I looked around the Reading fascinating affections to be returned, and All of the acting was of a very Room but saw nothing except Brick’s alcoholism and grief over high standard: little fault can be patriarch with the usual tweed-fi tted, belletris- considerations of the death of his sexually ambigu- found with Reid’s snide Mae, or tic bunch threaded out along the ous friend Skipper. Starte’s determined Maggie. And diminishing health. infi nity-spanning desks. After an humanity admirably This fi rst scene wasn’t quite on it’s always a risk bringing kids on age of dithering and indecision, par with the rest of the produc- stage, but the fi ve young actors ample room for movement. The coupled with some fearful shiv- to the fore. tion, with Starte throwing out a playing Mae and Gooper’s boister- blocking was fl awless, often visu- ers, I summoned up the courage few of her lines too quickly, but it ous and grating children deserve ally highlighting various fault lines to obtain the mysterious volume was watchable enough; perhaps praise. between different members of the that this anonymous laminator except for Big Daddy and his wife, this discrepancy was just down Taking on a main part, Maggie family, and it was also sparing (and had suggested for me. Big Mama (Tamara Astor, playing to fi rst night nerves. Far greater and Big Daddy in particular, means therefore effective) in physical To my fevered chagrin I discov- to type as well as ever), know that tension was effectively created as hefty monologues to deliver. That tussles alongside the characters’ ered the tome was to be located Big Daddy is about to die from the play progressed. Haines was there were only a few minor slip- verbally expressed frustrations. within the unnerving, chilly cancer. Oldest son Gooper (Oskar the most impressive at facilitating ups over lines in this show should The script of Cat On A Hot Tin stacks of the austere South Front, McCarthy) and his wife Mae (Char- this; he was convincing as an aging be applauded. The American Roof can no longer be as excitingly the most troubling limb of the lotte Reid) are determined that redneck patriarch with diminish- accents were a bit better than shocking as it was upon its debut. UL. Skimming along the spines the plantation will be passed on to ing health and diminishing power standard Cambridge efforts – the Bearing this in mind, this produc- I hesitated over the number 84, them after Big Daddy’s death. over his family and business. His production’s own dialect coach tion keeps Williams’ fascinating which was oddly titled Impro- The fi rst act focuses entirely on rage over and then acceptance of (Marina Tyndall) must have been considerations of humanity, com- visation. I opened it and from it Big Daddy’s younger son, Brick his fate at the end of the play was instrumental in this. Costumes passion and mendacity admirably fell a second laminated slip: “Mr (Ben Kavanagh), an injured former impressively controlled. Kavanagh were good, and the set was well to the fore. Herring, if you like surprise and American football player, and his was also vital at creating the play’s throughout out, allowing the actors HELEN YOUNG suspense then improvise yourself up a press ticket for The Birthday Party at Corpus Playroom (Tues in a different direction. Any read- quite naturally so, given the nec- connection with Shadwell Opera 2nd-Sat 6th). If not, then see if View from the ers dedicated to these pages cannot essary ability and training of the producer Elly Brindle, who was you can fi nd this little number: have failed to notice Bonesong, the singers. I found it diffi cult to break seeking an assistant director for L727.c.372.” Graduate new electronic opera by Kate Whit- into opera that was happening in their Edinburgh show. I rushed on, stirred and unsat- ley and Joe Snape which is being Cambridge, studying English not I did not direct my own opera until isfi ed, to the overly-lit West Imogen performed beside the skeletons in Music and being a string player not the end of my second year: aspiring Room, fi lled out my ticket in a the zoological museum. a singer. Determination and good fi rst-year directors at the ADC are shaky, nervous scrawl and bit Tedbury A Midsummer Night’s Dream fortune helped me on my way – a given a freshers’ show, but when my nails for the half hour it took was performed in St Giles’ Church. conversation about my interest in I arrived in Cambridge the opera for the text to be retrieved. With In my time at Cambridge I have transferring from theatre to opera scene was limited to CUOS, and a cheerless smile the attendant never worked on a show performed was overheard by Dan Hill of the wholly dominated by fourth- and gruffl y thrust it into the clammy in a theatre. I have worked on Beethoven Ensemble, a fortuitous fi fth-years. We aren’t just talking crevices of my palms. This time f I had written this column a shows performed in, among other singers, whose voices understand- the book was entitled Cacophony couple of years ago, it would venues, the Cambridge Union and ably need time to develop; the but sticking from one of its Iprobably express those sen- Clare Cellars. I have done produc- average age of a CUOS production leaves was yet another plasti- timents uttered by many a tions in traverse, productions in team is 23 (this includes The Mar- cised sheet: “Mr Herring, if you misunderstood Cambridge opera thrust, productions in the round, riage of Figaro). want a sonic thrill for your crude buff, namely that the opera in and more problematically, produc- The students behind Shadwell ears then listen in to Soundtrack Cambridge is underrated by the tions in venues with no backstage. Opera and Carmen Elektra are to Your Life at the ADC (Weds majority of the student popula- Part of the appeal of the CUOS main now third-years, fourth-years and 3rd - Sat 6th). If not then go back tion, that audience attendance is show is the once-in-a-Cambridge- graduates. Both groups are slowly to your desk.” poor, that the relevance of opera opera-lifetime chance of working in shifting from Cambridge to London. At this I let out a ghastly yelp is so far unrecognised. But the last the only performance space with an CUOS is being run by fourth-years. and was swiftly shushed by an few years in Cambridge have ren- orchestra pit. Unless operatically inclined fi rst- ovalescent woman with bent dered these well-worn arguments Without an institution like the and second-years step up to the bifocals. Humming with nerves obsolete. Shadwell Opera’s maxim, ADC to provide a regular venue, mark, the next person to attempt a I moved towards my desk. On “accessible, affordable opera… in opera productions are forced to be similar column will be writing what it I found a copy of Appleton’s English”, transformed the face of more inventive – their directors I would have written two years Medical Dictionary. In the page- opera in Cambridge and brought must be creative, and their con- ago. entry ‘Testicular Contraction’ many students to their fi rst opera, ductors compromising. As a result was jammed a picture of SIMON Benjamin Britten’s A Midsummer operatic stagings are arguably far In Cambridge Imogen directed four HAINES. Night’s Dream, which sold out – more imaginative than a lot of the- operas and assisted on four more. To that elusive spectre who twice. Since Shadwell’s foundation, atre in Cambridge. She is staying on for a fourth year excessively laminated a forest on new opera club night group Carmen Opera in Cambridge is domi- to direct The Marriage of Figaro, my behalf, I impel you to email Elektra have pushed the boundaries nated by the chapel choir scene, and the CUOS main show. [email protected] and meet me at dawn to duel for our afore- GUIDE TO STAR RATINGS:  Cat in a Hot Tin Thong  Cat in a Hot Zinc Coffi n  Cat Hair in a KitKat mentioned mutual obsession.  Cat Catatonic with a Hot Flush  Feline Hot Theatre Editor: Edward Herring 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk THEATRE 25

redeemed by its mercifully short lucidity and some credibility to an The Revenger’s running time. otherwise totally hopeless produc- The performance clearly wishes tion. He was assisted somewhat Any genuine Tragedy to approach complex notions of lust by Leo Parker-Rees as Hippolito, Incoming Corpus Playroom and betrayal within the play, but his potassium-defi cient associate, humour within the (until Sat 30th) these ideas are never satisfactorily who munches nonchalantly and per- executed. Decisions made by the petually on a series of inexplicable play was delivered director remain unjustifi ed by the bananas. Whilst his performance  performance; the choice to replace was commendable, the constant by Ben Blyth, the Duke’s sons with daughters, presence of fruit in his mouth hin- for example, may have represented dered even the simple enunciation whose eye-bulging he source of the stench that some lame social commentary, but of his lines. will invade your nostrils merely added confusion to this his- The remainder of the cast nervy weirdness Tthroughout this performance trionic ensemble. delivered blow upon blow of is the coffee-stained lab coats Attempts at black comedy were unimaginative, insubstantial earns him the one contributed by Rosy Wiseman’s similarly unsuccessful; the audible melodrama that in truth makes a costuming. Her design seemed sniggers from the audience derived tasteless mockery of Middleton’s star. to want to provoke some kind of instead from the escalating lunacy (or Tourneur’s, as you like) script. subversive challenge but, like the of the performances. Any genu- Bizarrely angry in parts and rest of the production, her ideas ine humour within the play was oddly excitable in others, all tex- were in fact hackneyed, immature, delivered by Ben Blyth, whose eye- tual subtlety is lost in the heavy and seemingly empty. She did not, bulging, nervy weirdness as Vindice hands of director Toby Parker- unfortunately, redeem herself earns him the one star. Volatile yet Rees. So much of the play is cut, so as an actor. As one part of a size- controlled, his performance gives much left unexplained that the tone able creative team that includes a of this production is never fully ‘movement emeritus’, you would established, and as the bodies and be forgiven for expecting a per- This was an banana skins pile up, it becomes he real attraction of The formance of considerable artistic literally incomprehensible. Highly- Misanthrope is that its worth; the reality is not so. Toby overblown, tacky strung and uncomfortable to watch, Ttimeless characters reso- Parker-Rees’ interpretation of this bipolar production completely nate as accurately with society The Revenger’s Tragedy was an presentation lacks any sense of dramaturgical today as they did when they overblown, tacky presentation of a maturity. Efforts to produce a raw, were fi rst created 350 years play that should demand an intense of a play that visceral performance are a trans- ago. performance expressed through parent failure; in reality the play Indeed, arguably our mis- concentrated stylistics. Incred- demands an intense epitomised every pitfall of student anthrope’s anger at a world ibly, embarrassingly, aggressively theatre. where elitism is rife, where bad, this production was barely performance. SIOBHÁN FORSHAW connections are worth more than talent. But The Misanthrope is more than just a bitter attack on nepotism. Alceste, the history, complete with a brief look protagonist, delivers many The Beginner’s at the odd vagaries of the Welsh The Life diatribes that often set him up language. as a comic fi gure. When he rails Guide to Opera The script as a whole was against friendship to his best comically brilliant, and Corner’s Doctor friend, Philinte, he reveals one Corpus Playroom delivery matched it in quality – she ADC Lateshow of frequent contradictions in (until Sat 30th) slipped from composer to composer (until Sat 30th) his character. and through centuries of traditions The play then, is perhaps  with incredible ease, bringing us  best described as a satire, with her almost every step of the where even the satirist himself way. cannot escape ridicule. Set in t’s often said that opera is Chris Pilgrim, the show’s pia- he Life Doctor is a multime- the under-used, and even more inaccessible, elitist and boring. nist, was also fantastic, creating dia comic production from under-appreciated, Fitzpatrick IWhether or not that’s true is humour just with his playing, and Tthe minds of Adam Lawrence Potts does a good turn as a failing Hall in Queens’, the curtain open to debate, but this show cer- there was clearly a dedicated team and Phil Wang. The premise is scriptwriter, and Mairin O’Hagan opens on a decadent 1960s tainly goes some way to trampling backstage as well, adding some that Lawrence plays a makeover was immensely likeable the Paris, politically dominated by that assumption under an hour of wonderful extra elements, like the show host called The Life Doctor, moment she came onstage. Jason de Gaulle in a similar fashion to slick, exciting comedy that to my pastoral and Japanese shadow- and during the course of his show Forbes was generally good and had Louis XIV in Molière’s time. mind is rarely seen in Cambridge. play. There were so many little he ‘fi xes’ all of the problems in his plenty of energy, but sometimes Tony Harrison’s translation, Rosie Corner – both writer and touches to this production that guests’ lives. the energy went from funny to written entirely in rhyming performer of this affectionate and made it really exciting, such as the The comedy itself isn’t particu- showing him up as a bit of try-hard. couplets, is a diffi cult feat in witty rattle through several cen- programme art, which is beautiful larly sophisticated or original, but Furthermore, there were multiple English (French lending itself if a little faint. is very often endearing and laugh- instances in which he delivered much easier to rhyme), but it is Unfortunately, there were out-loud funny. The sheer silliness lines over laughter, which is a big the couplets that give the play certain elements of the show of the execution makes up for contrast to George Potts, who its characteristic dramatic pace. There were so many which didn’t quite live up to the some of the potential shortcomings expertly navigated multiple waves Blank verse will not do, as was extremely high standards of the of the concept: there are count- of laughter near the absurd fi nale. shown in the recent Crimp little touches to script and most of the perfor- less quasi-totalitarian chat show As a fi nal note, the multimedia adaptation, starring Keira mance: there were technical issues parodies, but one forgets this when aspects generally worked very Knightley, where the relentless this production involving scene-changes which watching The Life Doctor thanks to well. They were well shot, profes- rhythm was lost, and with it needed to be a lot quicker, and an almost constant bombardment sional, and the mock commercial the almost Chekhovian tension that made it really occasionally (although I put this of both daft puns and silly physical breaks in particular were wonder- between farce and anguish. down to fi rst-night nerves) some comedy. For example, The Life fullly absurd. As a cautionary note, “I cannot improve on it, and exciting. lines seemed to have slipped. Had Doctor comes onstage in increas- however, it’s easy to get carried assuredly never shall,” said these little hitches been ironed out, ingly bizarre ways, and Lawrence away with fi lms and newfangled Molière of his most famous play. turies of opera – has constructed and everything made that little and Wang have the knack for really gadgets, and I wouldn’t want a But his contemporary French a fast-moving, elegant and intel- bit more polished, the show would good visual jokes. The fl ipside of comedy that was over-reliant on public did not like it much, ligent show that will amuse opera have been fl awless. this, however, is that there are such things. For starters, once preferring the dramatists more buffs and opera novices alike. That said, Rosie Corner’s some pig-awful puns every now something is recorded, one can’t farcical The Doctor In Spite Of There were some jokes pitched excellent ad lib. acting when and again and one feels disap- gauge the laughter of the audi- Himself – a play that, accord- at those who perhaps have a costume-changes were going a pointed that the comedians even ence and adapt accordingly. At ing to tradition was written deeper knowledge of the works of little too slowly was wonderful, and expected you to laugh at them, and the end of the production, there two months after The Misan- Wagner than you’d expect from it was that sort of thing which gave sometimes Lawrence’s wild ges- is a blooper reel, which struck me thrope’s premiere to make up your average guy in the street, the audience a feeling of rapport ticulating goes from humorously as incredibly vain. They’re okay for the latter’s lack of success. and a slightly odd dip into Japa- and intimacy with the whole pro- vacuous to simply over-egging. if you’ve just seen a serious fi lm However, while The Doctor nese theatrical traditions, which duction that was down to a little In terms of the ensemble with Robert De Niro, and want to has since lapsed into obscurity, involved a rather unexpected more than the cosy interior of the performances, Joe Bannister is see him pulling funny faces out of The Misanthrope has become Pokémon reference. There were Corpus Playroom. absolutely wonderful at conveying character afterwards, but no-one a theatrical classic. So, if you also moments that will appeal par- In all, this was a wonderful the awkwardness and romantic really wants to see any Tom, Dick want to see a comedy that also ticularly to a Cambridge audience performance, and one that you desperation of his character. One or Harry corpsing through a take. makes you think, that makes (‘O Sole Mio’ performed as part defi nitely shouldn’t miss if possible. protracted fi lm section includes On the whole, however, this is a you react, then come and see of a punting tour of Cambridge is Even if you don’t like opera you Bannister’s character walking very good production, and it should the fi rst production of The delightful) whilst one part really should certainly give it a try; it’s around London and Cambridge, be seen and cherished for doing Misanthrope in English to take tickled my Welsh friend, who one of the funniest things I’ve seen accidentally terrorising bemused something different to the usual place in Cambridge. loved the retelling of a lovely, for a while. women with his clumsy romantic Cambridge comedy fare. GEORGE JOHNSTON little-known nugget of Welsh CLARE MOHAN advances. Elsewhere, George MICHAEL CHRISTIE 29th October 2010 Fashion Editors: Louise Benson & Jess Kwong 26FashiOn www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] THAT OBSCURE OBJECT OF DESIRE Photographed and styled by Louise Benson and Jess Kwong

Clockwise from top: Shearling jacket SANCTUARY. Cardigan ESCADA. Green dress FEI. Tights, worn throughout, ALEXANDER MCQUEEN. Brown jacket GLENHUSKY OF SCOTLAND. Cardigan MARC BY MARC JACOBS. Tartan dress EDME & ESYLLTE. Tights, worn throughout, FOGAL. Floral blouse BURBERRY. Skirt HOBBS. Belt VINTAGE. Cream blouse VINTAGE. Trousers LIBERTY. Heart jacket MOSCHINO. Dress JAMES COVIELLO. Shoes, worn throughout, MARC BY MARC JACOBS. FOR MORE IMAGES GO TO VARSITYFASHION.TUMBLR.COM With special thanks to Anthropologie. Fashion Editors: Louise Benson & Jess Kwong 29th october 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk Fashion 27

Clockwise from top: Capelet LOWIE. Orange dress, worn as top, ISABELLA SINCLAIR. Skirt PLENTY x TRACY REESE. Coat MADCHEN. Dress RALPH LAUREN. Shoes, worn throughout, MARC JACOBS. Floral blouse BURBERRY. Skirt HOBBS. Belt VINTAGE. Cream blouse VINTAGE. Trousers LIBERTY. Dress MARC BY MARC JACOBS. Green blouse FEI. Tartan skirt CARTONNIER. Blue cardigan MARC BY MARC JACOBS. Skirt ANTONELLE. MAYS 2011 World colourDNA 08.10.10 Applications are invited to edit MODELS the 2011 Mays Anthology, REQUIRED the collection of the best For life drawing, student writing and artwork Discover your world with colourDNA £15 per hour (inexperienced models welcome) from Cambridge and Oxford. Contact: Mr Issam Kourbaj, Artist-in-residence, Interested candidates should Christ’s College. For more information please email [email protected] email [email protected] by Friday 12th November. The Mays, formerly the May Anthologies, are published annually by Varsity. e editor or editors will assemble colourDNA.com is a 52 Trumpington Street social discovery site that Cambridge CB2 1RG a commi ee of students to invite helps you discover new things to enjoy in life. FREE CHELSEA BUN submissions of  ction and non- With every purchase over £2.00 in the shop OR  ction writing including prose, Sign up to colourDNA.com FREE MORNING poetry and drama, as well as and invite your friends to COFFEE/TEA WIN an iPad! (9am-12pm) illustration and photography. e With any cake or pastry in the restaurant Visit colourDNA.com/promotions/iPad commi ee also appoints a ‘guest to find out more and read our terms WIN on presentation of this voucher and conditions. Ends 14.11.10. and proof of student status editor’ from the literary world. me! Games & puzzles Varsity Crossword no. 533 Sudoku Kakuro 1 2 3 4 5 disappointment (7) The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy Fill the grid so that each run of squares adds up to the total only one condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must in the box above or to the left. Use only numbers 1 through 6 7 23 Record of a Cambridge student with contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once. 9, and never use a number more than once per run (a perfect grades taken in by regressive number may reoccur in the same row in a separate run). tutoring (8) 8 1 5 9 8 9 9 3 6 1 8 28 24 25 Down 11 16 10 1 Leave bream swimming in a circle (9) 6 4 19 2 Brought back smell of crafts (5) 16 4 3 Listeners in the grass gossip (7) 5 4 1 2 4 Community force is going around, to be 1 3 9 6 exact (7) 3 17 11 12 13 14 5 Able to take spin around city displaying 9 8 7 3 speed sign (9) 4 7 7 Granny determined to return to French 2 1 4 town (6) 21 15 16 17 12 Mountain of meat and beer for top 4 9 2 3 dog (5, 4) 9

5 6 7 4 / MADE BY GARETH MOORE www.puzzlemix.com 14 State of nervous energy, almost sent

back inside (9) / MADE BY GARETH MOORE www.puzzlemix.com

18 19 15 Get away from south-eastern snob e Varsity Scribblepad (3, 3) 16 Longed for a man after a long time (7) 20 17 Authoritarian science involved in abstinence (7) Hitori 21 19 Vessel stowed in Formosa (or Taiwan) Shade in the squares so that no number occurs more than (5) once per row or column. Shaded squares may not be horizontally or vertically adjacent. Unshaded squares must 22 form a single area. 23 5 7 5 3 6 3 4 6 1 3 2 1 4 7 13 Call girls in fancy corsets (7) Across 15 Russian sect elects to enter heaven (7) 1 His grace fi nds many instruments 4 3 4 5 7 6 7 17 Obsequious tone gets shelter (7) groovy (8) 18 Two bums’ utterly natural murder (11) 6 Armada blown up north fast (6) 20 Egg on mediocre beginners appearing 1 5 7 6 3 4 2 8 Let social maverick go swinging (9) Last issue’s solutions around fi fth turn (4) 9 Destroy me in race (4) 21 Take pleasure hiding the Italian 4 2 4 3 7 1 5 9 1 4 5 3 7 8 2 6 10 River maiden is to drink magnum (11) 26 4 19 3 1 2 3 6 3 5 manicurist’s tool (9) 7 3 5 6 4 8 2 7 9 1 6 2 1 4 22 5 6 5 7 4 3 2 11 A long way and a short time to 29 2 7 8 9 6 1 3 5 4 22 “I love you” after note about 4 8 3 9 5 6 4 3 6 7 6 1 7 4 5 1 9 8 2 6 3 7 5 1 6 4 3 6 become a scientist (7) 6 7 Crossword set by Hapax 2 4 17 6 1 6 7 4 6 4 4 5 7 8 3 1 2 4 6 5 7 9 Answers to last issue’s crossword (no. 532): 4 10 6 2 9 7 5 3 1 4 8 3 1 14 6 4 6 3 2 2 5 2 4 Across7 Harness,9 Android,10 Relevance,11 Totem,12, 21 Flying Dutchman,13 Cinnamon,16 Squad,22 Kermit,25 Flair,26 Unrelated,27 Calming,28 Martian 27 1 6 7 3 2 9 4 8 5 9 7 6 3 2 1 4 4 5 3 7 6 4 8 3 6 7 5 9 1 2 Down 1 Sheriff, 2 Brolly, 3 Heavens, 4 Editing, 5 Costumer, 6 Adamant, 8 Sink, 9 American, 14 Aqualung, 15 Pitfalls, 17 Edifi ce, 18 Thyroid ,19 Pedlars, 20 Student, 23 Matrix, 24 Trim 24 3 4 2 1 2 7 5

9 8 7 2 5 7 1 1 1 3 5 9 2 8 1 4 6 3 7 / MADE BY GARETH MOORE www.puzzlemix.com Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 29th october 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SporT29

College Sport Sport in Men’s Rugby Brief Varsity takes a look at the implications of John’s loss Rowing Division 1 title. This judgment lost and the post mortems have all guns blazing but now with- The Cambridge and Oxford boat MIKE ALHADEFF must have been made partly on started. Members of the John’s out the confidence that they had squads for the 2011 Xchang- Schumacher, Woods, Federer; all the weight of the last few seasons. camp have suggested that a loss before. Indeed, given Queens’ ing Boat Race have been recent sporting champions have There is something special about is unsurprising with the team unlikely victory against Downing announced. The Cambridge had an ability to create an aura invincibility in the sporting world. missing nine first team players on Tuesday, there are no gimmes squad is packed with experience of invincibility. As time goes by, Successful sporting teams, and in due to university commitments. in the first division this year. The with four returning Blues: Presi- the image of being undefeatable this I include John’s rugby team, Such a response is predictable: no Red Boys are not as good as they dent Derek Rasmussen from grows in magnitude. The same can undoubtedly have great skill in one wants to be part of the first thought they were. It will be inter- Maryland, Canadian Geoff be said of St John’s rugby. Their their chosen disciplines. This is team in the last five years to lose, esting to see how they respond. Roth, George Nash from feat of remaining undefeated for what marks them out and pro- especially in a college that takes Guildford and Australian five seasons has helped to create pels them to the top of their game. itself as seriously as John’s does. Hardy Cubasch from the 2009 a sense of inevitability about Cam- Nevertheless, it is what they do Yet they have lost. The ques- boat. Oxford by compari- bridge rugby. At the beginning of which really lies behind their suc- tion is: what will be the wider Men’s Rugby Results son only have one returning this term, this paper ran a story cess. In continually winning, they effects for college rugby? It cer- Blue – the President and last arguing it would be difficult to create a persona of being untouch- tainly throws the Division 1 title First Division year’s bow in the Dark Blue boat, look further than John’s for the able. It boosts their game as they wide-open, especially considering Downing 0 - 5 Queens’ Ben Myers. The Cambridge squad ride a wave of confi- the results achieved by Queens’ St John’s 10 - 21 Jesus also has five returning Goldie Boat dence. It undoubtedly and Magdalene. It would be reck- Trinity 0 - 31 Magdalene members while Oxford have four has a bigger effect on less to write John’s off. It is worth Second Division members of last year’s Isis Boat. opponents as only a remembering that should they Next year’s race will have the loss seems inevitable. so wish, the Red Boys could call Catz 0 - 78 Robinson largest contingent of British born Top players and teams upon Cherezov, Burdon, Reid Pembroke 22 - 17 Girton rowers in years. Indeed, Oxford can win even with- and the others who are currently Clare 50 - 0 Trinity Hall only have one American in their out their A-game. It performing so well for the Blues. Third Division A squad – the last time that occured can also have a nega- The long-term view poses more was over 25 years ago in 1984. tive effect as the interesting questions. The image Caius 20 - 0 Christ’s burden of such feats of John’s will have changed yet Third Division B weighs ever greater they will still be favourites for Churchill 60 - 7 Sidney with every game. their next game against Queens’, Homerton 17 - 17 Fitzwilliam Lacrosse John’s have now and they will certainly come out he Cambridge women’s lacrosse team continued Fixture List View from the Bottom Division – Emma IIIs Ttheir impressive start to the season by defeating the Uni- Men’s Rugby versity of Bristol by 15 goals to 4. First Division PEDRO WATERTON footballers, some of Despite a diminished squad, the Magdalene v Downing whom (occasionally) Blues started the game strongly, Trinity v St John’s make the weekly train- scoring within the first two min- Jesus v Queen’s Our view from the bottom divi- ing session on Wednes- utes of the game. Cambridge sion this week is a view from the days in which all the dominated possession and looked Second Division top. Following a 10-3 destruction college teams take strong going forward. Leah Scha- Robinson v Pembroke of Trinity Hall IIIs the past week- part, and who (usu- bas was particularly impressive Trinity Hall v Girton end, Emma IIIs are topping the ally) field a full team in midfield, constantly winning Catz v Clare division, with things looking seri- to matches. We take ball and setting up attacks and ex- Third Division A ously rosy for the season ahead. a relaxed attitude to captain Ellie Walshe meant that It has been an outstanding cou- football, playing for the Blues were never in danger of Emmanuel v Caiu’s ple of years for Emmanuel football, fun and occasionally losing. This was a confident and Selwyn v Christ’s moving from a middling first team with hangovers; games impressive performance from the Third Division B and understaffed seconds three the day after bar ex- Lacrosse Blues who will no doubt Sidney v Fitz years ago, to a thriving club, with tensions are usually have taken confidence from last Churchill v Homteron the first team fighting at the very disastrous. week’s 24-2 against the University top of Division 1 and the seconds The 7th division Emma III’s are confident of defeating the other riff raff in of Bath. They will be hoping their recently promoted to Division 3. A can be a dangerous Division 7 form continues against the Univer- Men’s Football proliferation of footballers in col- place, with newly cre- sity of Southampton next week. First Division lege led to the creation of a third ated teams spring- Caius v Emma team two years ago, and our first ing up into the league, and some opportunity to enter if we have Christ’s v Downing league season last year, finishing college teams padding out a lack enough players next season. Catz v Fitz a creditable 5th despite not play- of players with players from the Emma III’s team of stalwart play- Jesus v Girton ing all our games. A 4th team was higher divisions. There is nothing ers, some who are playing college BMC Homerton v Trinity also started up last season, play- more humiliating than having a football for the fourth year run- ince the last update, ing a couple of friendlies and tak- team of 16-year-olds put 12 goals ning, have been reinforced by a SBotswana Meat Commission First Division ing part in the recent tradition of past you. couple of bright-eyed freshers and F.C. have played two winnable Churchill v Jesus II a game against the girl’s team, the We hope to avoid any similar some recent finds from the older games, but have been unable Corpus v Downing Pink Panthers. embarrassment this year, and years and are looking to be a real to come away with three points St John’s v Long Road Emmanuel IIIs are a committed are pushing for promotion in the force in the bottom division this on either occasion. A young Selwyn v Queens group of (surprisingly) talented league to allow a fourth team the year. The only way is up. Botswana Defence Force XI Pembroke v Trinity Hall edged the first match 1-0, thanks to a goal on the hour by Mabina, who capitalised on Men’s Football - Downing 2 - 1 Caius some poor defending to slot home. BMC looked to recover A late-headed goal saw last sea- into the box was met by the head of striker was first to a rebounding shot from this loss on Sunday against son’s champions Downing scrape a Downing striker, as he took advan- to score an opportunistic effort with newly-promoted, and homeless, past a spirited Gonville and Caius tage of a breakdown in communication twenty minutes left. Men’s Football Results Miscellaneous F.C However, a side. Despite dominating possession in defence. Caius grew in confidence Downing came back furiously, scrappy game was only drawn throughout the match, it took a con- as the half drew to a close, but were making tactical adjustments in the First Division 1-1, leaving BMC in ninth, with tentious effort near the end to finally unable to fashion any opportunities, search for a winner. However, excel- only three points from their last see off their newly-promoted oppo- and Downing went in at the break lent tackling and organisation from Emma 8 - 1 Catz five matches. A tough match nents, who had worked tirelessly and fully deserving of their lead. Wellbelove and Hines-Green in the awaits this weekend, as they threatened on the break. The second half started much the Caius defence limited them to largely Girton 0 - 2 Homerton travel to face Gaborone United. Downing had the better of the open- same. Downing continued to apply half-chances. With only a few minutes Their opponents have the best ing exchanges, creating two early pressure, although Caius also began left, a free kick from deep was lofted Downing 1 - 1 Caius defensive record in the league chances that brought sharp saves to look dangerous when the ball was in the Caius box, and met by a Down- and sit third, but BMC can take out of the Caius goalkeeper, Livings- placed in behind the Downing defence. ing head. Claims of a foul were turned Fitz 2 - 2 Jesus heart from the fact they came ton. Caius struggled to keep hold of This resulted in an attempted lob drift- down by the referee, and Downing away with two draws in this fix- the ball, and the resulting pressure ing agonisingly wide, and a credible held on to claim a narrow victory as Trinity 3 - 1 Christ’s ture last year. led to the opening goal. A long throw shout for a penalty, before the Caius they maintained their 100% record. 29th October 2010 Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 30 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

CAMBRIDGE HOCKEY Hockey Blues fall 5-3 to high quality opposition the acceleration of the game and con- BECCA LANGTON ceded a number of corners. The hard Cambridge greeted Beeston 1st work of the Blues was eventually XI at Wilberforce Road as the out rewarded as David Madden fi nished and out underdogs. Their opposi- a simple but precisely-worked short tion, readying themselves for the corner with a low and fast drag from next round of the European Hockey the top of the circle. Cambridge League, sat three leagues above the did well to preserve their two goal Blues as the second best team in the defi cit, however, as keeper Graham National Premier League. Arriving Morrison faced the second fl ick of the with a manager, a physio, and a host game, making a dramatic save that of players recently returned from the kept the crowds cheering for a Cam- Commonwealth games, the Blues’ bridge comeback. opposition were undaunted. The second half saw Cambridge The same might not be said for making a determined effort at over- the home side. A nervous start sug- turning the Beeston advantage. gested that the occasion might have The opposition were able to take got to the young Cambridge team. their lead to a 5-2 advantage with a A short corner was converted into diving defl ection that saw Morrison an early lead within the fi rst minute, stranded but the fi nal third was Cam- and Beeston capitalised on their lead, bridge’s game. Linking up passes winning, and scoring a penalty fl ick across the pitch, the Blues fi nally after Dan Balding’s off-the-line clear- found their stride and pressed on the ance was deemed a back-of-the-stick Beeston goal but were unlucky not foul by the umpire. to take advantage of their pressure Two goals down within fi ve min- The Blues defended well against superior opposition on a number of occasions. With the utes, the hundred-strong crowd that clock ticking down it was Cambridge had come to cheer on the Blues braced in order to pressure the Beeston corner, was converted with a right of play, however, Oliver Salveson who had the fi nal say as Scottish themselves for a battering. However, defence. Vice-Captain Nick Parkes slip, 360 degrees spin, and fl ick that used his pace against a slow-paced international Nick Parkes collected the shaky start was soon forgotten was commanding in the mid-fi eld, verged on the sublime, Beeston back line and gave Cambridge a well- a well placed cross from second-year as Balding’s surging run through the making a number of decisive tackles proved their pedigree by taking the earned goal after slipping wide to Salveson, and scored with a pacy middle resulted in a light-blue pen- that kept the score-line unchanged score line to 4-0 as they buried a loose Bastiaan Leerkotte who defl ected the reverse stick shot that resounded off alty corner. A diving keeper saved for a further twenty minutes. But ball in the circle. ball from the slightest of angles. Nar- the backboard. The fi nal whistle blew David Madden’s drag but Cam- the Cambridge defence were unable Once again, the Blues looked like rowing the gap, Cambridge mounted on a 5-3 defeat for the Blues, a score bridge, with increasing confi dence, to keep out the Beeston offensive they might go under as the Beeston pressure on the Beeston defence. The line to be proud of against an opposi- were able to build on their possession indefi nitely. After conceding a short pressure mounted. Against the run opposition seemed ill prepared for tion of such depth and calibre. Nice to meet an ex-Blue... Ruel Braithwaite, former Blues cricketer, has signed a professional contract with Durham CCC

t was not for long, but it was a majestic world.” The South African Test batsman sight: the wicket-keeper and slips Jacques Rudolph, dismissed by Brathwaite Ibeyond the ring; the batsman cowering on his debut for Cambridge, would probably near square-leg; at the top of his mark, agree. Ruel Brathwaite. A Queens’ engineer and And what of the problems of balancing Blue in 2008/9, ‘Brath’ has become the work with cricket? “I can’t speak for other latest Cambridge cricketer to enter the cricketers,” Brathwaite answers, “but I fi nd professional game. Last week, he signed that when it comes to stress cricket and a two-year contract with Durham that academics have a synergistic relationship. will see him join Steve Harmison, Liam Having a sound academic background Plunkett, and Graham Onions in the most complemented the discipline with which I potent pace battery in county cricket. This approached my cricket.” week, he talks to Varsity Sport. Given that MCC funds cricket at both Cambridge and Loughborough, where Brathwaite completed his undergrad, it is “ e facilities at Fenner’s are fi tting that the venerable club should have be er than at most county the last word here. Garri Jones (Caius, second XI grounds” “His 8 for 130 in 2009’s He begins, naturally enough, with his four-day Varsity Match was forthcoming north-eastern adventure. “It is defi nitely exciting. I see [Durham] Braithwaite’s skill with the ball has been rewarded with a contract at the best bowling side in England intrumental in Cambridge’s as a great place to learn, because there is Cambridge coach Chris Scott – himself a of [his] most memorable experiences at ten-wicket victory” a great wealth of knowledge, experience former professional with Durham – told Cambridge”. and success within their fast-bowling fl eet. Varsity Sport: “It was a massive boost In spite of those magnifi cent This is possibly a refl ection of the quality when Ruel decided on a Master’s here. Not achievements, Brathwaite’s contribution 1989), who chairs MCC’s sub-committee of coaching there, but I know it will be a only was he a very popular member of the to University sport was more than a on youth cricket, has only praise for challenge, and one that I embrace.” squad who gave everything in matches and Varsity victory. His Cambridge career has Brathwaite. “As soon as Ruel arrived at Not that Brathwaite will forget his cricket training, but to have a bowler of his pace demonstrated that talented sportsmen Dulwich College,” he commented, “it was at Cambridge. “It was a great experience and quality gave our team real credibility can embark on a serious academic career clear that he was a talented cricketer. But to play there,” he recalls. “The facilities at against the county sides and helped us to go without jeopardising their sporting it soon became clear he was a talented Fenner’s are better than at most county far in our inter-MCCU and Varsity games.” development. academic as well, and CUCC was delighted second XI grounds. I also got to play with Just how far is evident. Though Brathwaite regards Cambridge as crucial when he was offered a place for his MPhil. a competitive and highly motivated bunch Brathwaite’s 3 for 38 could not prevent to his progress: “The time I spent in pre- Top sportsmen who also happen to be bright of lads, and the ardent supporters always defeat at Lord’s, his 8 for 130 in 2009’s four- season with Chris [Scott] allowed me to must have the opportunity to pursue both made it as warm and as welcoming a place as day Varsity Match was instrumental in fi ne-tune my skills and to improve my fi tness sport and academia at the highest level.” any to play cricket.” Cambridge’s ten-wicket victory, a margin of as well. On the fi eld, the fi rst-class allowed And when we next see ‘Brath’ charge in Those who remain at Fenner’s remember victory unparalleled in the fi xture’s history me to showcase my abilities against some of for Durham, we’ll know it can be done. Brathwaite’s time with fondness. As and something Brathwaite describes as “one the fi nest cricketers in the country and the MICHAEL TAYLOR Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 29th October 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SPORT31 Sport Comment It’s not just a rubbish version of men’s rugby e president of CUWRFC explains why women’s rugby deserves to be judged on its own merits

Although women’s rugby may not women’s club. The accomplishments rugby faces greater recruitment women of all sizes. display the physicality of the men’s of St John’s rugby in the college challenges due to the fact that very Women’s rugby has so much game, it is still engaging in its own league are well-known across the few girls have played before. There potential. To fulfi ll this potential, right. Female rugby players dem- university, but how many people is not a group of players actively however, female players must not onstrate high levels of skill, fi tness know CUWRFC was placed fourth seeking a club and already possess- be boxed into negative stereotypes and game sense; matches are clinical, in the country in BUCS last year? ing a solid base of skills. Competing and must be appreciated for the disciplined and genuinely enjoyable to a high standard is, then, a bigger athletic prowess they possess. The to watch for the level of technique. test given the pressure to bring game must be viewed on its own Women must be seen as more than Women must be girls who have never touched a merits. At Cambridge, women’s just poor versions of their male rugby ball before up to a level rugby is fortunate enough to have counterparts and instead be judged seen as more than where they can compete against the support of the prominent men’s on their own merits. Female athletes women who have been playing for club, but attitudes on a wider level train and compete with just as much just poor versions fi ve or ten years or more in a club must change. In order to continue dedication as men and make just side league. progressing, women’s rugby needs as many sacrifi ces for their sport, of their male Perhaps one of the attitudes most to go on building its base of players, JESSICA TAYENJAM though often for less recognition. detrimental to women’s rugby is the coaches, referees and supporters. To For the game to continue progress- counterparts stereotypes surrounding players. this end, the Rugby Football Union’s ing to a higher standard, women’s Somewhere along the way, the idea efforts to publicise women’s rugby he fi nal of the IRB Women’s players must be recognised for the has come about that all women’s off the back of next year’s World Rugby World Cup was wit- talent and commitment they display. Men’s rugby has an advantage rugby players are butch lesbians, Cup are commendable. Providing Tnessed by a sell-out crowd of Last season Cambridge Uni- over the women’s game in being far fat and unattractive. As a full con- people better and more informa- over 13,000 people at Twickenham versity Women’s Rugby Football more established. Whereas the Six tact sport, rugby is ‘supposed’ to tion about the sport is the fi rst step Stoop last month. Over 30,000 sup- Club took 15 of their 22 victories Nations tournament for men began be for boys, thus the idea that girls towards breaking down the negative porters attended the 30 matches of with no points on the board for the in the 188’s, the women’s tourna- who want to play must be mascu- attitudes and unfounded stereotypes the tournament, which saw England opposition, scoring as high as 92 ment did not begin until the mid line and aggressive. Based on the that would lead the sport to stagnate Ladies battle their way through to points in one match. This would be 1990s. Having had over a century discussions that come about while if left unchecked. the end, conceding only three tries an impressive statistic for any club longer to develop, it is not surpris- trying to recruit at freshers’ fairs, Seeing is believing, and the best in fi ve matches and just missing but is even more so for Cambridge, ing that at the present time men are it is clear that many women are put way to prove the strength out there out on the trophy with 10 points to competing against far more experi- able to play to a higher standard. off by these stereotypes. The reality in women’s rugby is to see it; with New Zealand’s 13. Yet there are enced players and universities that Furthermore, the women’s game is of the situation is that the pretty, CUWRFC’s twice-weekly matches, still many who question the status provide greater support to their not yet professional, so players are petite blonde sat next to you on a there are plenty of chances to do so. of women’s rugby; despite the clear sports teams. Somehow, though, not at liberty to dedicate their time swap is just as likely to be a rugby I can’t promise another 92-0 victory, root support for the sport, persis- achievements like these are often to the sport in the same way their player as the girl in the powerlifting but I guarantee it will make you tent destructive attitudes around overlooked or seen as less remark- professional male counterparts are. gym at Fenner’s. Rugby is a diverse reconsider what you thought you the game remain. able because they come from a At the university level, women’s and inclusive sport that accepts knew about the sport.

COLLEGE RUGBY John’s su er  rst loss in 5 years Blues Football Blues Rugby Jesus defeat St John’s in one of the most controversial fi xtures in years CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE KATRINA HEWITT Such a platform gave the midfi eld The last ten minutes saw the of Paul Hartley and Ross Broadway game completely open up with both ALEX KENNEDY a chance to reassert their authority sides throwing caution to the wind Any thought that this year’s col- and launch an attacking onslaught. and tries aplenty, the pick of which lege rugby competition would be The defi ning moment came when a arguably coming as Fred Burdon the same procession as the last fi ve surging run from O’Halloran was completed a great team move to take season’s were comprehensively put picked out by a pinpoint Baxter Cambridge’s total up to an impres- to bed on Tuesday. The cracks that pass; a move which saw the former sive 34 points. A last-gasp effort began to open in the Red Boys’ fi rst brought down in the box for a clear from Cardiff saw the final score game – a draw with Downing – were penalty. Baxter duly converted, at 49-34 and brought a thoroughly clearly in evidence as Jesus became sending the keeper the wrong way, entertaining game to a close and one the fi rst team to defeat John’s in fi ve and the Blues closed out the remain- which acts as a fantastic advert for years. The 21-10 victory sparked ing ten minutes on the front foot. running rugby. jubilant scenes among the Jesus Only an unfortunate miss from the Despite the loss, there are once supporters as the non-playing Red dominant Sherif, and a rasping left- again many positives to be taken Boys watched on stony faced at footed drive from Broadway which from this Cambridge performance. their teammates who had just lost somehow stayed out, prevented The Blues continue to punch above one of the proudest sporting records Jesus celebrate their historic victory Cambridge from sealing the win. their weight, dictating play against in Cambridge. The result sees the Blues enter some of the biggest academy sides Yet, for many of the John’s play- possess – is removed. This is often complained to Varsity afterwards the BUCS campaign against the in the country. ers, the fact that the fi xture was used as a tactical ploy by teams with that they could not fully use this University of Bedfordshire next If the forwards can transform played at all is a wonder. Last weaker and less skilled forwards. advantage. The Jesus backs however week on the back of an impressive the platform they create at the set- weekend John’s captain, Mathonwy The referee for the game on Tues- were quicker and stronger with Chris performance against a fi t and strong piece into the breakdown at open Thomas emailed the league chair- day stated that “Any side with a Bluke particularly impressive at full Navy XI, with a handful of key play- play, with the speed of Sam Hunt’s man, Ian Minto, asking for the game strong pack of forwards is at a dis- back. The match was characterised ers still to return to the Cambridge distribution at the base and the to be suspended because Jesus had advantage when they occur. It is by sloppy handling and distinctly squad. Captain James Day refl ected agility, pace and skill of a consis- a lack of prop forwards. Because of my personal view that a game that average kicking and the scoreline enthusiastically on his sides display, tently threatening backline, things the dangers of playing in the front starts with scrums that are not con- was slightly fl attered a Jesus side saying “I am really proud of the boys could begin to look very promising. row, a team without trained special- tested is not really proper rugby.” who lacks fi repower upfront. battling spirit today against a physi- Cardiff travel to the Other Place ised props must ask for uncontested Minto disagreed and the game went Jesus may be fortunate to be cal side, and I can’t wait to get stuck next week to take on the dark Blues scrums. This means there is no ahead. playing at all – a lack of props is into the league fi xtures”. which should act as a good barom- competition at scrum time and one Almost inevitably, John’s were something for League of Shame The Blues will be looking for a eter as to where each team is at of the weapons of a superior pack – superior and more powerful in the rugby – but we are all still grateful similarly strong performance in with a date at Twickenham only six something John’s believe that they forwards, and members of the team that John’s lost. their fi rst league fi xture this week. weeks away.

Think you could do better? We’re always looking for sport writers and photographers. If you’d like to work for us, get in contact with our Sport Editor at [email protected] 29th October 2010 Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 32 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] College Rugby Blues Hockey p30 p31 Cambridge lose John’s suffer fi rst 5-3 to a high- defeat in fi ve years SPORT quality Beeston XI Redboy Cardi sneak past Blues at Grange Rd Reports Cambridge provide some stiff opposition for Cardiff Blues academy side Our man on the inside of the St HANNAH COPLEY John’s 1st XV tells it like it is

Right. Facebook is INCRED- IBLE. How did I not know about this? Christ, I’ve been falling behind so much this week after Monday’s swap. I slept in past training today (7pm) so you can imagine the state of the Mahal last night. The swap was so much better than last week’s with the Murray Edwards Shepherds (turned out the name was literal and all they did was bang on about fl ocks and tethering). Luckily The Tit Hall Tits were much more slutty. To give you an idea: their leader, Samantha, only wore a necklace and a pair of shoes; and she didn’t wear any shoes. The rest tended to follow suit, although one did actually wear a suit, which was a shame because I know she’s got a shit-hot tattoo of Razorlight on her ankle (thank you, Facebook!). Things started as they meant to go on in the Redboy bar when Doyley and Abercrombie downed a fi sh through a bottle of vodka. Zorro and Mitch weren’t to be beaten though and proceeded to The Cambridge scrum dominated their professional opposition all evening kill three locals with their ‘chun- der-dragon’ (standard chunder: off led to a quick turnover for Cardiff taking apart the Cardiff scrum on perhaps harshly, at half-time nostrils only), after which the SAM OAKLEY resulting in Corey Allen scoring numerous occasions. Cambridge was 27-13 in favour of the Welsh. police were seriously brutal with under the posts. Cambridge were were rewarded for their persistent Cambridge came out after the us but also clearly impressed. I trailing 7-0 before the fi rst minute pressure with captain Jimmy Rich- break still reeling from the smash think one offi cer actually said, CAMBRIDGE 34 had ticked over on the scoreboard. ards knocking over a penalty which and grab way in which the fi rst period “fucking fair play, boys”. Cambridge had to quickly look to was quickly followed by a textbook had ended and conceded a very soft We got a fresher to carry us get a foothold in the game and the catch and drive from a line-out try from a speculative chip and to the Mahal and upon arrival CARDIFF BLUES 49 experienced centre partnership of with Tom Stanton crossing over to chase and with the gap growing to 26 things got nasty, quickly. At John’s boys Sandy Reid and Fred score. Suddenly the score was 14-10. points after 55 minutes the game was the other swap-table were On a chilly Monday evening, Cam- Burdon looked like their best option, Cambridge continued to dictate threatening to run away from them. some pricks called ‘the Legend bridge welcomed Cardiff Blues to both looking lively and breaking proceedings with ease as our very Yet once again to their credit they Squad’ who were the most Grange Road on the back of last through the Cardiff line. However, own Sebastien Chabal, Tom Har- fought back. With Sam Hunt coming pathetic bunch. When I heard week’s impressive effort against the a handling error was quickly capi- rington, bossed the line-out and on at 9 and Richards moving to fl y half that they were from the ADC I Saints. A young light Blues side full talised on and within seconds Rob Stevens looked continually quick ball was fi nally coming quickly positively vommed in my wine- of running rugby and confi dence took Cambridge found themselves threatening on the left wing. Yet to the backs, Cambridge were able bucket. They thought they were on the academy side of one of Welsh once again behind their own posts. persistent spoiling from Cardiff to utilise the pace of Ilia Chezerov to so special, with their bow ties rugby’s giants in what looked set Despite a shaky start, the light thwarted any opportunity to play make some useful ground and once and hygiene and their kindness. to be a mouth-watering clash. The Blues did not crumble and instead the free, running rugby which again a superb catch and drive try To be fair, they had some solid bumper crowd was not disappointed. considerably upped their game. has thrilled spectators so far this from the forwards, quickly followed indiviudal titles: I overheard In much the same vein as last They began to dominate posses- season. As half time approached, by a great solo effort from Matt ‘Chancellor of the Sexchequer’, week, Cambridge got off to a bad sion as well as the set-piece with Cardiff’s ruthless exploitation of Guiness-King brought them right ‘Dalai Laughter’, and the ‘Bishop start; a spilled catch from the kick- William Briggs single-handedly a simple overlap meant the score, back into the game. CONTINUED INSIDE of Banterbury’. But, after the RedBoy opening chant (souvent me bois) we duly started hurl- ing our naan, chutterz and tables Football Blues beat Navy in last warm-up game before league starts at them. Again, the police were The Blues started brightly and, the fi nal third prevented the early only to be pegged back by a Navy fi rm about it all but also honestly VARSITY SPORT having settled quickly, began to dominance from translating into bombardment. Cambridge weath- we were only interested in which CUAFC rounded off their pre- impose themselves on the game with goals, but Cambridge remained ered the 15-minute storm in which club we might hit next. I’d like season with a hard-fought 1-0 a handful of neat passing moves. With comfortable with a solid foundation a Dimitar Berbatov-esque overhead to tell you where we chose, but win against the Navy at the Vic- fresher Haitham Sherif holding the being provided by the two James’, kick was scramble to safety having all I can remember was stripping tory Stadium, Portsmouth. ball up superbly against a physical Revell and Captain Day, who was rebounded off the crossbar. Day sub- naked actually inside the corpus A Mark Baxter penalty secured backline, the Navy found themselves playing his fi rst game since April’s sequently made way for debutant clock, playing a decent DJ set in a thoroughly deserved win in the under early pressure with forward Varsity after an ankle operation. Harry Dempsey, a Corpus fresher, Revs and cooking a vast number 80th minute for the Blues, who were Ryan McCrickerd and wingers Rick Having closed out the fi rst half who successfully marshalled a Blues of burgers inside the trailer. able to grind out the win whilst Totten and Rory Griffi ths spinning the better side, the Blues emerged defence which was rarely troubled What a night; that’s what hap- giving debuts to several new faces. off the frontman. A lack of fi nesse in buoyant from the dressing room CONTINUED INSIDE pens when I stay sober.