M O N A C H O L O G I A

H A N D B O O !

O F T H E

NATURAL HISTOR! OF MON! S

O I O L IN N fEA N S! M ARRANGED ACC RD NG T THE STE .

A N A TURA LI ST.

ED I N B U RG H

J O H N S T O N E A N D H U N T E R.

: 3 m m M co . LONDON , ARSHALL,

THE GREATEST BI PEDO L O G I ST OF THE AGE

M O ST OM PL I O O M O O M I I THE ACC SHED SURGE N F RAL DEF R T ES,

B UT PA RTI C ULA RL! TO

O WH O O O ! O I L A I NE , TH UGH C NSTANTL SC URG NG AND SH NG THE

VI O I O M A N ! I V A TTEM PTED CES AND F LL ES F ND, HAS NE ER

W I I UL O M I O O TO THRO R D C E N SF RTUNE, R TO LAUGH AT REAL SUFFERING ;

T O THE R I GHT AND TRUL ! H O N O URA B L E

l! of lm trut m S , 3?q !fi

I WO ! I P ! I B! I O TH S R S RES ECTFULL DED CATED, H S C NSTANT

I M I READER AND S NCERE AD RER,

THE TRANSLATO R.

AUTHOR’S PREF E AC .

SDIC E the time when philosophy had been chiefly by the instrumentality ofits great Eng

— urifie d lish reformer, Bacon p from the scho lastic sophistries and medi eval puerilities with w s hich it was disfigured during so many age , and restored to its pristine dignity, that of

of the mother all human knowledge , the study of natural history began to make great pro

of ff gress . The most eminent intellects di erent countries engaged in the pursuit of this most attractive science ; they carefully observed and

a investig ted the outward forms , constituent

of elements, and various properties all that is moving and growing on the surface of the

r of u ea th, as well as those the inn merable trea A M O N A C H O LO G lA .

sures which it contains in its fruitful womb ;

and they have given to the world the result of

their learned labours, in the shape of many

literary works, published in several languages .

r e It may be therefore said , that nothing mains in nature which has not already been

examined and described ; and that after the

rich harvest which had been gathered on that

of field by our predecessors , we naturalists the

present day are hardly able to glean upon it a

s few cattered ears .

O ne day, when oppressed by this painful con

a sideration, so disheartening to naturalist ambi tious of fame , I was meditating about the best means of making a new discovery in natural

’ science , I recollected, I don t know how, the

S —! now M sel invaluable precept of olon y f. dm This a irable maxim , which has been so

wh beautifully rendered by an English poet, o says ,

The r er st p op udy of mankind is man, d m produced a eep impression upon y mind,

A H M O N C O L O GIA .

and I began henceforward diligently to study

the moral and phvsical nature of my own

a nthro genus , and to compare it with various

omo r hi c ! on p p species, when lo I discovered a

tu sudden , and in the mos nexpected manner, a

w ma n new genus , hich connects , the most per

. of monke feet tall mortal beings , with the y, the mos silly of all animals , and completely fills up the chasm which was hitherto believed

to exist between the bip ed and the qua dru

ma ma—or , to use a vulgar expression , between

monk man and monkey . I mean the , a genus

of u mammalia , whose o tward appearance is

d w almost i entical ith that of man , though in every other respect there is an immeasurable

! nk distance which separates ma n from the mo .

’ T O TE —I the e fi e RANSLAT R S NO . think that sci nti c valu of this discovery cannot be overrated ; and I feel quite proud to have had

an opportunity of bringing to light and rescuing from an unde !

l H is e served oblivion the merits of its accomp ish ed author . fat

e e e e e was, how v r, that of many min nt individuals, who, app aring

e e e a e e e e e e e b for th ir g , w r not und rstood by th ir cont mporari s, and,

e e nl e e f the e due e e e cons qu ntly, not o y d priv d o r ward to th ir s rvic s,

but were not unfrequ ently made the obj ect of a severe persecution . The e e e O or r production of this gr at discov ry is, I think, a most pp M O N A C H O L O GIA .

Far be it from me to accuse of negligence those ca c a ns who have preceded me in the

of study natural history, and who , embracing in their learned researches the largest as well as the most minute objects which belong to the

a domain of th t science , have hitherto omitted to investigate the nume rous and multifarious

of herd monks , which they had every day plenty ofopportunities to see moving under their very noses . This almost unaccountable oversight , committed by so many eminent naturalists , may, however, be in some measure excused ,

d e xtraordi though never justifie , by the most nary likeness which undoubtedly exists between tune event to those naturalists who advocate the system of a gradual

e e e e m the e the e d v lopm nt of all living b ings, fro low st to high st organi! ation ; and th erefore I recomm end this subj ect to the parti onlar attention of the author of the Vestiges ofthe N a tura l H istory o Creation e e e e the ffi e f , as it ntir ly r mov s di culty und r which this e e th ing nious writ r was labouring, and which was occasioned by e chasm which had hith erto b een b elieved to exist between man and the ran - an ou out he e e g g . If wish s to avail hims lf of this great dis cover be e e ee he in y !and it would v ry strang ind d if would not) , e e e e e he e e e ord r to compl t his th ory of cr ation, is v ry w lcom to do

. I e e e e y e he so , how v r, sinc r l hop that, as a man of honour, will not fail to acknowledge the source wh ence he will have derive d

e e e . this important, and , for his th ory, quit invaluabl fact A MON C H O L O GIA .

m m !

the face and figure of a man and those of a

monk, and which , particularly in some cases , is

u ma so great , that a s perficial observer y easily e mistake both for one and the sam being .

! et u , though great allowances m st be made to those naturalists for the very strange oversight which they have committe d on this

occasion , and which , I think , is an additional

reason fo r humbling that pride of intellect to

f u which men o science are so m ch subject, I

c annot butexult at the idea that I was allowed the privilege of being the first discoverer of such a new and immense field for the exertion

o f future naturalists , and consequent advance th o f science . I frankly confess that is great

and important dis covery has filled my heart

with such a great joy, that if I had lived in

the times of Pythagoras I certainly w ould

have offered to the g ods a hecatomb a

hundred heads of the best fattened monks I

should be able to provide , in order duly to

un acknowledge s uch a piece of good fort e , and MONA C H O L O GIA .

which undoubtedly is far superior to that of having discovered the celebrated geometrical

t hiloso theorem, which the above men ioned p pher is said to have repaid by the sacrifice of

of f o . A nd the same number heads cattle , indeed, I really think that if inventions and

v discoveries are to be alued , not by their

! but beauty, by their utility to mankind , I could , if my innate modesty did not prevent me from doing it, exclaim

’ ’ Ea egi monumentum cere p erenmus with a much better right than it was done by R t the oman poe , who got for a song so many good things during his lifetime and so much glory after his death . I am , however, by no means so conceited as to think that I have exhausted in my present work this important

u or s bject, even succeeded in condensing into its pages a desc riptio n of the numerous host o f

, t monks particularly as it is absolutely requisi e , in r k orde to produce such a wor , diligently to O R L GIA MONA O O .

s ob erve , and carefully to collect , the distinctive

of characters the whole genus , as well as those of each of the innumerable species which con

A w s titute . t that genus ork of his kind cannot, therefore , be even attempted before the most distinguished naturalists ofevery country under the suntshall have systemtatically described all the exis ing species , varie ies , and subvarieties of H the genus monk . owever, before the natural ists a e a of this g , moved by my represent tions and exhortations , shall betake themselves to

of M onacholo the study gy, I have attempted

e to compose this handbook of Monkery, s ien

tifically arranged according to the Linnaean

system ; and I was induced to publish this little

work in its present imperfect state , without

any farther delay, chiefly on account of the fol — lowing circumstance Monarchs and govern

ments , who have at heart the welfare of their

the subjects , issued various regulations for ex

termination of animals which are destructive

of — n crops , flocks , and game as , for insta ce, M O N A C H O L O GIA .

& n c . sparrows , hawks , wolves, ; and havi g

of u l u succeeded in their object p b ic tility,

the they are now adopting , with same view,

un similar measures against the monks, who doubtedly are very noxious animals to man

N ow kind . , as it is very desirable that the above mentioned monarchs and governments should and as it is very probable that they will,

s and succeed in their u eful object , that the whole genus of monkery will disappear from the face o f the earth , it is therefore very likely that

no t if I had produced this work, the naturalists h of our age , who ave omitted to describe this

of important class mammalia, would have been

s justly accu ed of a gross and culpable neglect, by their professional and a ma teur successors of

who on ta future period , seeing painted or sculp ured of o representations various kinds of m nks ,

not would be quite at a loss, only how to define and to class , but even how to name the various

a species of these extinct anim ls , a difficulty for the solution o f which they would look in vain

TRANSLATOR’ S O B VAT S SER I ON .

T H E foregoing was written by a distinguished A Em naturalist of ustria , at a time when the peror Joseph II . was endeavouring to abolish the numberless abuses which had a ccumu

for H e lated ages in his dominions . found the greatest obstacle to all his plans of re

form and improvement the genus monk , which in all its varieties infected every town and H almost every village of the land . e therefore attempted partly to destroy these dangerous

i an mals , and partly to render at least some

of t species them innocuous , and even to conver

them into a kind of useful domestic animals . The hopes with which this circumstance inspired the author about the speedy extinction of this

erce kind off , which he has described in this work, have not been fulfilled for it is well known that M O N A C H O L O G IA .

the Imperial reformer succumbed unde r the

his fatigues of arduous task, and it is even gene rally believed that he died from a malady which was caused by the bite of one of the most f o . venomous species this genus It appeared ,

however, for some time that the same result ul ff wo d be brought about by di erent causes , as the violent storms and commotions which swept the continent of Europe since the death ofthe

Emperor Joseph II . had partly destroyed the

enus mona chorum g , and stunned the remainder of them in such a manner that they had become

entirely innocuous , and some of their varieties as tame and as inoffensive as lambs ; so that there was no objection to their continuing to n t t w o exist, except that they ere wor h their

feed .

The i i o ur op n on of author, that the whole

enus mona chorum g was speedily to disappear, and to be henceforward classed with the mam

d u moth , masto ont, the sa rian , and other ante

the diluvian relics , was shared by all na turalists of his time ; and the events which took place subsequently to the publication of k ' l his wor , and to which I have al uded above, M O A N CH O L O GIA ,

seemed entirely to confirm the soundness of

VleWS on i his th s important subject . Things

our have , however, entirely changed in own time ; and the occurrences of every day evi

dentl enus mona chorum y prove , that the g ,

of on instead being extinct, is , the contrary ,

fast reappearing in every quarter of the globe , and seems to be particularly thri ving in our

own A happy island . very remarkable circum

stance, indeed, is , that according to the general

o pinion of all Irishmen , no venomous reptile

can not live in their emerald isle ; and yet ,

withstanding this general assertion , which may

be considered as an axiom in Irishism, the

enus mona chorum g , in its most virulent varie

H iber ties, could never be extirpated from the nian soil in spite of all the efforts which were made for this purpose by successive govern ments , as well as by powerful associations . It is now infesting the above mentioned island with daily increasing numbers , and commits there much more mischief than is done by

of that new and never before heard insect , which I think is called by the naturalists ap his va s ta tor h , and to whic the cause of the potato H L IA MONA C O O G .

rot is ascribed . The translator of this little but very important and useful work has studied that curious but most dangerous class of mammalia

which forms its subject , not only in books and

museums , but , what is much more important , has had many opportunities to observe the above H mentioned animal in its living state . e there fore ventures to make a few observations on this

weighty subject, which seem to have escaped the attention ofthe accomplished author of this

work . No animal in the creation is perhaps so much

out modified in its instincts and habits, by the

influences ward of climate , locality, and the contact with human beings of different charac

ter, than the biped in question . I have my self seen many individuals belonging to the dif ferentvarieties of Monkery as tame and as

playful as spaniels, and on that account great of pets ladies , particularly of elderly ones . I b have also known many of them who , y a long

contact with men , had become so humanized , you that if were to take from them thetcowl , let grow their shaven crowns , and dives them of other outward characteristics of their genus , M O N A C H O L O G IA . which the reader may find amply described and illustrated by many figures in the seien tifi c ou terminology given afterwards , y would positively mistake them for individuals belong

our own ing to kind . I must also make an oh

i of e servat on which , I think , may be great pra a tic l use in the present times, namely, that almost every variety ofthis kind of animal has such imitative powers , that no species of mon a key c n rival them in this respect . Many cases d u t in eed may be q oted , where these crea ures have assumed the human form in such a manner as to baffle detection even by the most acute observer of human and monkish nature ; and we may better imagine than describe the asto nishmentof all those who , after having mis taken them during a considerable time for

of our own individuals race , saw them at once appearing with a cowl and all the characteristics of u their species , and fo nd that what they had believed to be a man was only a disguised monk . Such metamorphoses begin now every day to be more and more frequent in this country ; n and I warn my readers , that whenever a mo k conceals his real character he generally does M O N A C H O L O G IA .

it for some sinister purpose , and plays exactly ’ th the partof a wolf in sheep s clo es .

be she The signs by which a or monk , who has

be assumed the human figure , may discovered ,

are chiefly the continually- increasing mani fes tations of a monkish nature which such an

apparently human being is daily giving . These symptomatic manifestations are very numerous

and very manifold, so that I could not give a detailed description of them without greatly

exceeding the limits of the present work . I shall therefore mention only some of the most

w : important of them , hich are The perfor

of mance certain odd gesticulations , which are l commonly ca led mummeries , at certain hours of the day ; abstinence from certain kinds of food on certain days of the week, the month , and the year ; great fondness for high and thick

or walls , with narrow windows , such that are

a provided with st ined glass , because broad day light and open air are mostuncongenial to monkish nature , atnd are not unfrequently so dis agreeable to it, hat many of this genus bur

111 row under ground , in order to escape the fi uence of those two beneficial agencies indisp en

A MONA CH O L O G I . to minister to the wants and whims of these dangerous bipeds . There are also several instances of human

v beings , who , after ha ing exhibited a most curious struggle between H umanity and Monk ery, which takes place m their moral and phy sical s con titution , are entirely restored to their sound senses , and freed from every infection of

Monkery . It results from the circ umstances related A above , that the discovery of the ustrian na turalistthat the genus monk forms a connect ing link between man and monkey , however great and important in its scientific application , has by no means completed the chain which binds together the highest with the lowest organization , but that this great honour may

o wn be claimed by my humble self, who was the first to discover that there is still an inter

of mediate being between man and monk, and which I have given above the general charac tris i s e tc . It is , however, impossible to define , with scientific exactness , this strange being , it of lusus na turee for seems to be a kind , which is only sporadic in its appearance . It A CH O L O GIA MON .

seems , however, to be a subvariety either of Humanity or ofMonkery but it has not yet been

decided with which of the above - mentioned

to m genera it is be ore properly classed . A celebrated Scotch philosopher !Lord M on boddo) has triumphantly established that man is nothing else but a monkey which has lost its tail ; and I may say, without any undue pride ,

i i enius loci that , nsp red by the g !for I write in di E nburgh) , I have considerably developed this true and ingenious theory, by discovering that man is also a monk who has lost his cowl ; and as

’ Lord M onboddo s theory may be supported by the undoubted fact , that there are many tail less apes which go about in a human dress , my improvement of the same theory may be , I think , no less powerfully supported by an i e . equally strong and convincing evidence , . , the undeniable fact , that there are many cowl less monks wandering about in the very same shape as the tailless apes to which I have

A s alluded above . an additional corroboration

h of of the trut this theory, I appeal to the decision of my readers whether it does not frequently happen that even the best deve M O N A C H O L O GIA . loped human organizations occasionally show a considerable admixture of an apish and monk ! ish nature . There is a characteristic peculiarity in the genus monk, and which it has in common with — many beasts of prey as , for instance , the bear, — & c . ff the wolf, the fox , with this only di er ence , that the peculiarity in question may be found in each individual of the above - men tioned quadrupeds , whilst in the case of the monks it is observable only in whole herds of their manifold varieties . This peculiarity is , that all these creatures when young , and con sequently small and feeble , are innocuous , and

n be not unfreque tly amusing , but gradually come fierce and dangerous in the same ratio as

. h in they grow in size and strength T us , for

a stance , bear , a wolf, and a fox, as long as it is a cub , may, when caught by man , be easily

I sincerely hope that the author of The Vestiges ofthe N atura l H istor o Creation e th e e e e the y f , in m ntioning gr at s rvic which author of this work has rendere d to the system of the gradual develop

e e , I e e . 4 he n m nt !and which , as hav alr ady said abov , p , will u

e ex e he be doubt dly do in his n t dition , ) will just enough not to forget to mention also my own share in the completion of a system he ed h which has advocat wit so much success . A C H O L O G IA MON . tamed and played with without any danger ;

u but as soon as those c bs begin to grow, their predatory instincts become developed with their strength : they will flee to their native wilderness , or bite and tear the hand which has fed them . This characteristic peculiarity, com

a mon to all the anim ls of prey , manifests itself amongst the monks in the following manner

A s long as their numbers are few, their incomes h small, and consequently their forces feeble, t ey

n - are ge erally the most tractable , good natured, innocuous , and obliging creatures , so that they usually become great favourites with the people in the midst of whom they have established their

or . lairs , , as they are usually called, monasteries i But as soon as their herds ncrease in numbers ,

and their wealth accumulates , and as soon as, in consequence of these favourable circum

stances , their strength has also increased, their

predatory instincts become rapidly developed, ff and the peaceful, ino ensive creatures become meddlesome—interfering wi th the domestic concerns of every family in their neighbour — hood domineering , and finally persecuting in

not all those the most cruel manner . who will A H L IA MON C O O G .

consent to become their abject slaves, feed u them with the produce of their toil, abj re their reasoning faculties , and deliver their wives and daughters to the guidance of their cowled task

- masters . Every opposition to the above men tioned demands is called, in the monkish lan H guage , eresy , and exposes those who are accused of it to the danger of being torn to pieces by these bipeds greedy of power and of money . The sanguinary instincts of these ani

of mals , excited by the smell heresy, are so strong , that they are often manifested even before the Opportunity of satisfying them has arrived ; and this has probably been thus ar

a beneficent ranged by Nature, in order that the intended victim may have time to escape from A n the fangs of its persecutors . undeniable proof ofthe strength of this instinct is afforded by the printed howls for heretical blood which are now beginning to appear in monkish papers published in France , and even in this coun try ; because it must be remarked that monk is not only a speaking , but also a scribbling animal . I therefore warn those of my readers who de spise the comparatively small number which is M O N A C H O L O GIA .

now found in this country, and consequent

n of of weak ess this kind bipeds , because in a shorttime experience will teach them that as i t n soon as gains a footi g in this country, it will multiply with the most extraordinary rapidity, cover the whole land with its lairs or monas terie s — , and prove as prolific as rabbits making, h however, much more mischief t an this little animal causes in fields and gardens ; a mischief which this small quadruped compensates in some measure , when killed , by its meat and w skin ; hilst the biggest monk, when dead,

i i e . g ves only a negative advantage , . , that he is incapable of doing any more mischief, because ’— l monks meat, though general y considered very rich , may be eaten only by some islanders of is the Pacific . It , however, very doubtful ! whether, since the time when New ealand acknowledged the sovereignty of our gracious it ll t Q ueen , is possible to find even the sma es slice of a hot or cold monk - joint at the entertain ments given by the native aristocracy of that

of distant part the British dominions ; though, according to a no less grave authority than that of a reverend and learned literary critic , MONA C H O L O GIA . joints ofa very similar description are an indis pensable item of the bill of fare presented at ! the table of a stylish New ealand chief. It would require folios if I were to attempt a detailed description of all mischievous ef ! the feets invariably produced in those countri es which have the misfortune of being infested by those noxious animals . The reality of this danger seems , moreover, to begin to be gene rally felt in this country ; and I am happy to observe that even the attention of the G overn ment has been drawnto this important sub

ec t j , as is evident from the royal proclamation

on 15 of 1852 issued the th June this year , with the object ofpreserving the thoroughfares and public places from the invasion of the multifa rious f of varieties and subvarieties Monkery .

for It is, however, not so easy, particularly an i unpractised eye , to detect a genuine indiv dual of hi of t s class mammalia, amidst the immense variety ofbipeds which fi o ck from all the parts of the world to the metropolis, as well as to the great commercial cities of this country . I therefore beg leave most earnestly to rec om mend this book to the particular attention of all

MON A CH O L O GIA .

destru u t c in vario s coun ries and ages , for the

o f tion Monkery, or at least for keeping it h within certain bounds , as well as those whic have been and continually are devised and re wn d comtmended in our o ays . It is well known tha this blessed country of ours had, previously

of H V . to the reign arry III , contained every

of species , variety, and subvariety the genus monk . and that it was , in fact , a large preserve

n ll of Mo kery . It is no less we known that this kind of animals were causing to the inhabitants more mi schief than has ever been done by other

e or pr served game wild beasts , because they not only devoured the fruits o f the earth like

- hares and rabbits , plundered hen roosts like foxes , destroyed cattle and sheep like wolves , and tore to pieces like tigers those who dared to oppose their depredations ; but they did what t v the fierces beasts of prey had ne er done , for they devoured land itself with the most insa ll tiable greediness , swa owing it by hundreds and even by thousands of acres , and without ff ever su ering from this any surfeit . Every one knows that the above - mentioned ! ing

H o ne or arry, having had day, somehow other, M O N A H L IA C O O G . his sporting propensities turned towards this kind of game , became passionately fond of

- monk hunting , and that his faithful lieges , wearied by the voracity of these cowled dra gons , joined their sovereign in this chase , which proved far more profitable than that of any other animal in the creation to all those who had the good fortune of taking a part in the

was d royal ba ttue . This sport suspended un er

of of the reign Q ueen Mary, who was so fond these animals , that she allowed them to eat some of the keenest sportsmen who had been ,

the during preceding reign , chasing them . But after the death of the royal fancier of the

- re commenC bipeds in question , monk hunting ed with redoubled zest ; the consequence of which was , that it was soon impossible to find in this island any specimens of this kind of mammalia , except secretly preserved by some amateurs of them . It was therefore very na tural that a general opinion should prevail , that the reappearance of monks in this island was no more to be apprehended than that ofwolves .

not The wolves did reappear, and this for a

i . e . c very good reason , , because they annot MONA C H O L O GIA .

diff swim . The case , however, proved erent with the monks ; for not only can they travel, like men , by coach , steamboat, and railway, but the same may be said of monkish cunning and

of or perseverance which a poet the sinking,

Scriblerus a Martin school said, more th n a cen

of i va : tury ago , Brit sh lour

N or artnor nature has the force To stop their steady course ;

N or Al P e e ee te ps nor yr n ans k p h m out, ! N or fortified redoubt.

The facility with which monks appear and

s a take root . whenever circumstance favour ble

c . for their existen e occur, is quite wonderful They really seem to spring from under the ground ; and as soon as a c ouple of them gain

con footing in any place , they immediately di struct, by buil ng over and burrowing under

a f ground, a l ir or monastery su ficient for con

of is taining many more them , and usually it

filled in no time . It would require a separate work if I were to describe how the monks did gradually creep back into this country ; but it is a unive rsally A C H O L O GIA MON .

acknowledged fact, that they are now rapidly spreading over the length and breadth of this

of happy island , to the great dismay her Ma

’ ests j y lieges , with the exception of some few,

of i who , being very fond cur osities in art and nature , are such fanciers of these bipeds , that they expend considerable sums of money for erecting large buildings , where these cowled creatures are comfortably housed and well fed

- at the expense of the above mentioned fanciers . This kind of o dd fancy seems to be so preva in t lent Ireland , that many poor people submi to great privations in order to indulge in it, by spending their hard- earned pence and half pence in order to have the monks well fed and housed . I said before that the storms which swept the continent of Europe since the end of the l n ast ce tury, had almost entirely destroyed the

monks, or rendered them quite innocuous , but that they were now fast reappearing every m . a where I y add , that the monarchs and governments who were so anxious to e xtermi

n of nate this ki d noxious animals, are now equally anxious to promote their breed ; and M O N A C H O LO GIA .

particularly of those of its kinds which were formerly the especial objects of their p ers ecu

tion, as being the most injurious to the souls ,

ob bodies , and goods of their subjects . The j ectof this extraordinary change in the admi nistrative policy ofthose governments seems to

be , to employ those very monks whom they had

formerly been so anxious to extirpate , as a kind of bloodhounds to track out and hunt certain

classes of human beings , whom they now dis like more than they ever did the monks—who have already proved on several occasions to be as serviceable in this kind of chase as those

C uba bloodhounds which are employed , in and

other parts of the Western World, for tracking

out and catching runaway negroes . Be it as it

may A , it is a fact , that in ustria, where this book was originally composed in order to save from oblivion the memory of the existence of

the genus monk, which was then fast disappear ing under the severe measures adopted by the m E peror Joseph II . , for the complete extirpa

of tion it, this very class of mammalia is now rapidly multiplying under the fostering care of

m to the present govern ent, which seems be M N A C H O L G IA O O . as anxious to promote the breeding o f these bipeds , as the Emperor Joseph II . was intent o n their destruction .

In France , the same kind of mammalia , after

r having p eyed on the vitals of the country, and enjoyed a most flourishing condition till towards

of the end the last century, was either de stroyed or driven o utof the country by that terrible commotion which shook the above - men tioned country to its very foundations ; but now thev are rapidly spreading over the whole f sur ace of the land , and seem to be greatly favo ured by its rulers . The same thing is now

on going in many other parts of the continent , where in different places the above - mentioned bipeds are reared on purpose for the English

e market , whith r a great number tof them are continually exported . The most s ringent cus

and tom regulations , the strictest vigilance of

- im the coast guard , could never prevent the portatio n of this kind of live - stock when it was

' contraband ; and the government has acted wisely in removing prohibitions which could

no t S be enforced . uch prohibitions would be

v — now entirely useless , since the same li e stock IA MONA C H O L O G .

is bred in great abundance in the country itself, unless it were done on the principle of proteo

- tion to the home breeders . n It results from all that has bee said, that

Monkery, multiplying as it does in this country

by home - production as well as by importation from other countries, must, within a certain time, which may be calculated with tolerable

accuracy, completely overrun this island , and

and become as rampant dangerous to the souls , bodies , goods , and chattels of its inhabitants , as it was previously to the reign of H arry of monk in hunting memory . This result seems to be

e u evitabl , because every thing which contin ally grows , must end by becoming enormous ; every one who continually advances , must finally arrive ; and every number which continually increases , must become immense . Now, all these three circumstances are applicable to the state of Monkery in this country ; because it is an universally admitted fact , that their posses

h i sions grow, t eir influence advances, and the r

u numbers increase . I wo ld , therefore, beg my readers to decide themselves what must be the inevitable consequence of this - state of

M O N A C H O L O GIA .

above , not to try their hand at this kind of sport ; for I may assure them that - if it once comes to howling, the most expert of them in this kind of music will prove to be no match for w o t the monks, and ill be completely u

- howled and out bellowed by them . They ma y also be sure, that instead of frightening away the mischievous bipeds , they will only attract new crowds of them , by a music so congenial to w monkish feelings . I also arn the amateurs of monk- hunting never to try catching this kind of game by imitating its tricks ; because they will be sure to do it as awkwardly as if they were attempting climbing like cats and monkeys , or slipping like eels ; and that instead of catching

out a monk in this manner, they will soon find that they have caught a Tartar . The only effective means of arresting the progress of Monkery, and even of destroying it, and the only one which it is now possible to employ in this country, is, to expose this mis chievous brood as much as possible to the in f —I luence of air and light mean, the air of l of iberty and the light knowledge , which are

of destructive Monkery, as well as of every H O LO I A MONA C G .

other noxious being produced by the mephitic

C are air of ignorance . must therefore be ll taken , that the lairs , or, as they are usua y called , convents , which are inhabited by monks of w both sexes , should be al ays kept open to the vivifyii i g currents of the pure air of free C dom . onsequently liberty , complete liberty, should be granted to every he or she monk to play their antics , to assume various odd shapes ,

and , in short , to do with themselves what they like , provided it is done without injury to others ; but , at the same time , to do all this only as long and as much as they themselves choose to do it , A nd and neither longer nor more . should ever their superiors attempt to compel them to do i someth ng which they do not like , or to restrain

their liberty in any way , let them be punished in the same manner as if they were guilty of

such an act of violence against human beings . I have already said that itis the mephitic

air of ignorance which generates Monkery, as it does many other evils that have afflicted

humanity , in various ages and countries , and

f is are still aflicting it . It therefore very na w tural that the light of kno ledge, which de L IA MONA C H O O G .

stroys the above mentioned cause of evil, should also destroy its effects ; and that the miasma of ignorance and superstition being once di ssi

of pated by the rays light, Monkery, as well as other products of the corruption of the in

ll tual te ec atmosphere , being once deprived of the element whence they derive their life and subsistence, must rapidly dwindle into nothing in and disappear . There are indeed many

of monklin s n stances miserable g , who , havi g been exposed for some time to the bracing air of Vi freedom , and the vifying light of know

as ledge , lost their cowl , well as all the ex ter nal characters and internal propensities of

m tamor e their genus , and became entirely

e ph sed into men , and men in the highest

o f acceptation this word , so that they were afterwards instrumental in producing many similar transmutations on individuals of the ge nus to which they themselves had formerly l be onged .

o or c ommu If, therefore , a c untry, a city, a nity has been infected by the pestilence of

or s m Monkery, is showing the premonitory y p

of ul toms that dreadf visitation , it becomes the M O N A C H O L O G IA . duty of all those who are intrusted with the preservation of the public safety of that coun

or — try, city, community all those who have i some influence w th the public , as well as every one who feels as a patriot and an honest ff man ought to feel, to unite their e orts in order to promote , as much as lies in thei r power, the moral and intellectual ventilation and lighting of every place within the reach of their influence . Light is the greatest anti

for Monkery specific , it destroys even the most vivacious kinds of monks ; and air will become soon stagnant and corrupted , if it is deprived ofthe beneficial influence of light . Therefore let the place which is already infested by Monk nl ery, or o y threatened to become so , be ex posed as much as possible to light ; butnot to that gaslight with which many have attempted in vain to overcome the candlelight of Monk

of ery, but the powerful light the sun , which will illumine not only the tops and upper storeys of

of the houses , but penetrate into the interior the lowest tenements , and dissipate the miasma ofignorance and superstition upon which Monk ery thrives and fattens, but without which it M O N A CH O L O G IA .

A nd u t withers and dies . if, as it not nfrequen ly

e happens , the rays of the sun of knowledge , p netrating into places where they had never f appeared before , were to o fuscate for a mo ment the eyes of those who had hitherto been l acc ustomed only to candle or gas ight , and produce in their visual organs some strange

distortions , let them not be frightened by this

temporary aberration of their sight , but conti nue steadily to look at the objects illumined by the rays of the sun of knowledge ; and they may be sure that all those optical illusions which have caused them so much uneasiness will soon w disappear, and that they ill be able to see b o jects as they really are , and not as they were represented to them by the monkish candle

or h l light , that gaslig t which unfortunate y even some very violent enemies of Monkery some

times prefer to that of the sun . The great English philosopher Bacon said

! nowled e i s ower be h g p ; and it may added , t at it is an irresistible power in destroying Monk

o ery, as well as every other product f moral

and intellectual darkness . M O N A C H O L IA O G .

I PROC EED now to the strictly scientific part of i M ona cholog a .

G N A L D C IPTI N O F TH E G NU M N! E ER ES R O E S O .

The monk is an anthropomorphous animal ; cowled ; howling at night ; always thirsty .

D escri ti on — is p The body of the monk biped , erect, with a somewhat crooked back ; head hanging down and cowled ; the whole body covered with a woollen garment , with the ex ce tion of p certain varieties , that have some parts of it uncovered . It is a greedy, stinking , and unclean animal , always tormented with

thirst , and which would sooner starve than work ! in order to get food . The monks herd to

’ — TRANSLATOR S N G TE The description give n in the tex t is applicable to its subj ect wh en it is fully developed under the most

e e . e e e favourabl circumstanc s In oth r circumstanc s, and wh n it has

et e e e e e e not y attain d its full d v lopm nt, it b com s occasionally a very The d e e sober and abstemious animal . a j ctiv s of stinking and

! e be I e be uncl an cannot , as think, appli d to all kinds of monks,

e e f e h e e e caus som o th m, and particularly that whic is d scrib d und r

N O 1 2 e e e e e e d e e e . , hav oft n a v ry cl an app aranc , an sm ll lik nos gays, M O N A CH O L O GIA .

gether at sunrise and sunset , and some varieties n m at midnight . Whe ever one onk begins to

. howl, the whole herd does the same They

flock together at the sound of a bell, and they usually walk in couples . They live by rapine o r begging ; and they maintain that the world was created for their a dvantag

The female monk , vulgarly called a Nun , is iff scarcely d erent from the male, except that she wears a veil, and is more cleanly, laborious ,

h . and less t irsty than the male When young,

as she is generally playful as a kitten , and

old catches at every thing she sees ; when ,

- gossiping and ill natured .

D IFF NC B TW N M A N A ND M N! ERE E E EE O .

fre Man speaks , reasons , wills ; monk is

nor quently mute , and has neither reason will , being entirely governed by the will ofhis supe rior . Man walks with his head erect ; the head o f a monk is hanging down , and his eyes are

efl e e are O ld d e chi y wh n th y prowling about for young and la i s . It

be e e ! e the e must also r mark d, that although la in ss is g neral cha racteristic the e e e are e e e of g nus monk , th r som sp ci s of it which are e f m f v ry industrious, and particularly so or ischie .

H L G IA MONA C O O .

TH E genus monk may be divided into three

— ichth o great families the omnivorous , the y ! phage , and the graminivorous . The characters by which the various species of monks are defined , are taken from the head ,

w . the feet , the co l , and the dress

or The head is either hairy, or bristly, sha ven . It is furthermore diversified by a circular

of crop hair, by a hairy or furrowed crown , by a beardless or bearded chin .

- The feet are shod, half shod , or bare .

i s i The cowl e ther versatile , or loose or m ovable . It is , furthermore , acuminated , fun

- d - n nel shape , heart shaped , short , elo gated , with n a tru cated or pointed top . — The dress in all its particulars namely , the

Frock , in which is to be observed the quality ff it and the colour of the stu , and whether is

or S ca ula r— l wide close . The p Wide , c ose ,

be hanging , girded up ; with a round border

’ TRANSLATOR S N O TE - The ichthyO phage is also graminn o vice versa rous, but not . A C H O L O G IA MON .

- i oll — low ; broad ta led . C a r Se wn to the frock ;

f . Shi eld A endix to the sti f, broad ; none , or p p

owl— or C Pectoral dorsal, and its various shapes . — Sleeve loa k Equal , angulated, wide , pouchy . C — . I nterna l Long , short, with folds , straight

Te uments— S & c . Gi rdle g hirt, waistcoat , , or

S a sh— Broad , round ; leathern , woollen , hem & c . pen ; knotty, a

O Furthermore , it is necessary to bserve The

Voi ce S crea m or , or , whether it is melodious

or harsh , whether singing or drawling , guttural

or or nasal, clamorous mumbling , moaning

& c & i . c . Ga t merry, grunting or barking,

- f D em a S . e nour low paced, quick, sluggish , sti f —A ustere or sensual, boorish or graceful ,

m & c & c grave or gay , odest or hypocritical, . .

H a bits o f , occupation , time of screaming, si

O & c M ea ta nd drink s mell lence , f probation , . ; , ,

dwellin - la ce ha bita ttra nsmuta ti ons h brid g p or , , y

the S s eci es p , as , for instance , northern ervite ;

lim ts va rieti es under difierentc a e . To all this

the his tor o ever s ecies o must be added , y f y p , f its ori in a nd des tructi on a s well a s the d er g , if M O N A C H O LO G IA .

IN F M N! ! A N D ! PL AN TI N O F T ERM OL OG ! O O ER , E A O

FIG URES

e th 1 H e e . Fig. . airy h ad, with a shav n spot on top

2 B e e ne . . l l Fig . rist y h ad, furrow d with a i ar crown S e e l crO of . 3 . . Fig hav n h ad, with a circu ar p hair 4 e e a n . S o Fig . hav n h ad, with a h iry conti uous cr wn. 5 S e i e r . e Fig . hav n h ad, with a ha ry brok n c own . Th h e e s e . Fig. 6. v il of a monk or nun h A e l e n e e. Fig. 7. v i cov ri g tfac

Ve i . . le l Fig 8 . rsat cow V le d h a . e l e te e rsati cow , protract to right sid , Th b. e e e e e sam , with a sinuat d bord r, a crook d

back .

0. A l r e ee cow with a t uncat d top, as s n from

behind .

A l e l . Fig. 9 . oos cow h r a . A l e l te er oos cow of b oad kind .

b. A l e l the e d oos cow of short r kin .

e he . t 0 A l l l r l oos cow of c oak, abso bing a simi ar

l the cow of gown . 1 A . . ff 0 l l . Fig cow , short , sti , and sca y 1 1 M h . . l e l t e Fig ovab cow in e shap e of a h art. H a . anging down . he 6. C overing thead .

M le el - e l ovab funn shap d cow .

er the e a . C ov ing h ad . H b. anging down.

1 . P e . 3 e tl el l e Fig c ora shi d or br astp at .

A C H O L O GIA MON .

B el l e l e e. ack shi d or p at , of an angu at d shap B el l e e . ack shi d or p at , cuspidat d

M ovable acuminated cowl .

T e - ongu shap ed back shield or plate.

S lee e. traight, broad s v le e S e e . hort s v , turn d up

An l e l e gu at d s eev .

e Wid e sl eve.

Ba - e lee g shap d s ve.

Pouchy sleeve.

N w l r arro scapu a .

r Broad scapula .

e l O btus scapu ar.

M e l ark d scapu ar.

B - le l road tai d scapu ar.

n e . a . A t rior P e . b. ost rior i R le e e e tee ts. ound g rd , or a h mp n rop with hr kno

i e e e five t. R le ound g rd , or h mp n rop with kno s

L eathern girdle or sash .

Woollen girdle or sash .

A shoe of the shod feet .

- e e A sandal of the half shod f t.

L e e l e ath rn s ipp r.

6. W e e . Fig. 3 ood n slipp r e Wood n sole. M O N A C H O L O GIA

DESC RIPTION O F TH E TH E VARIOUS SPEC IES O F TH E

G NU M N! E S O .

—M o 1 i . na chus Benedi c . Bened ctine Monk

tinus . , Linn

ha r r — O utwa rd C a cte s . Beardless, head shorn , 2 bristly, furrowed with a linear crown !fig . ) feet shod ; a black woollen garment coveri ng

the whole body ; cowl loose, oblong , wide !fig .

of scapular hanging down , of the breadth ll . tf emar the stomach !fig co ar white , s i f,

in ted a or g sash or girdle broad, woollen, of n stro g silk !fig . cloak black, reaching to the heels ; internal teguments generally black ; shirt with sleeves straight !fig .

D emea nour a it , , graceful ; g , slow ; head less a n w a h ngi g do n than is usu l with monks .

H a bits —S or creams three four times in the , day, and sometimes at midnight, about the first

of , crowing the cock with a deep , protracted , voice ; after which he usually indues a gown

The e e e the fi e the e numb rs r f r to gur s of t rminology .

on hoarding, and often starves in looking his

the treasure , just as is case with men when

they are attacked by the same disease . Some of this species of monks live a mere

or animal life , whilst others are were occupied with studying and making books ; such parti ! cularly were those who lived in France .

O n or ll going out from his lair, , as it is usua y

called , convent , the Benedictine monk leaves

off his cowl , and thus connects the uncowled priest with the cowled monk ; which may be considered as an additional proof that nature never acts by bounds and leaps in its system of

uninter animal creation , but proceeds in an rupte d gradation from the lowest to the highest O n organizations . such occasions going

out c h ) , he overs his ead with a tufted skullcap ,

and a kind of cocked hat .

o f c The female this species , ommonly called

Benedictine nun , covers her head with a black

’ T O TE - RANSLATOR S N . This species of monk was in former e ee tim s as industrious as b s ; and it is but just to state, that it has e e e to man don much s rvic , and I do not think that it ever did any

. e e e be ed th harm It must, th r for , class amongst e innocuous ani

e e be e e the mals, and which in form r tim s could r ckon d amongst

e e e . I eed e e e e e e v ry us ful on s ts br has, how v r, gradually d g n rat d ,

be e and now I do not think that it would worth its f e d . M O N A C H O L O GIA .

veil, lined with white , and wraps her whole body in a white loose garment . There is a very great number o f varieties of a this species , chiefly modified by the loc lity where they live .

This species originated in Italy, during eighth century ofour era .

H a bita t—H s s ills with fine view , ituated l the midst ofa ferti e country. M O N A CH O L O GIA .

— hus D omini D . M ona c 2 . ominican Monk

c a nus . , Linn

r H O utwa rd Cha ra cte s . ead shaven , with a hairy, broad , continuous crown !fig . feet shod ; gown white woollen, girded with a sash three inches broad ; cowl versatile , sinuated towards the neck, with a crooked margin , !as 8 b fig . , ) , truncated at the top ; appendix of

- the cowl or shield , pectoral !breast plate) oval

- !fig . dorsal !back plate) acuminated !fig . with a longitudinal seam passing through both these shields ; sleeves wide , turned up 1 ll . 9 un !fig ) co ar white , but scarcely visible

der a very fat chin , and round a very thick

throat . Whenever he goes out into daylight ,

v he covers himself with a black cloak, ha ing

a cowl as well as a breast and back- plate of m the sa e colour, and by which he covers the

white garment that he wears underneath . In

u - ternal teg ments , white and ample ; shirt sleeves wi close , protruding from below the de ones of

the upper garment .

A C H O L O G IA MON .

D emeanour a it ex , hypocritical ; g , lascivious ;

ressi on o the countena nce erfidious p f , p barks, or yells , at midnight, with a harsh , discordant voice .

oft The olfactory tsenses his species are deve loped in the mos wonderful manner, so that it di will smell at any stance wine and heresy . It n is omnivorous , and always hu gry . The young

u or brood is occasionally tried by h nger, what ll they ca fasting . The older individuals of this species abandon every care and occupation , and only live for the sake of eating and drinking . They feed on succulent and savoury dishes ; they indulge in a long sleep on soft beds ; and it is probably owing to the above - mentioned circum stances that their digestive process has a great . similarity with that of the useful domestic ani

sus s cro a . mal, f , Linn !common hog) , because the food digested by both these animals is alike

a di us rapidly changed into p , vulgarly called fat or A of lard . natural consequence this remark

indi vi able circumstance is , that almost every dual belonging to this species is encumberedwith

of an immense paunch belly . This peculiarity n conformation is , however, by no mea s con sidered on as a deformity, but, the contrary, it M O N A CH O L O GIA .

is regarded , just as is said to be the case with the

oitre s wen !g ) in some mountainous countrie , as

or res e c a beauty, , at all events, as a token of p tabilit y ; because it is an acknowledged fact , that the better an old individual of this species

his is bellied, the more he is respected by own

w - fello creatures , and even by the other species of his genus . This species is undoubtedly the mOstnoxious and dangerous animal to the human race , as well as to common sense ; and one , the object of whose creation must remain as deep a mys ter of - y as that the rattle snake , the cobra di capello , the toad , and other venomous and

‘ hideous animals . It watches its prey from a b great distance , and assisted y the other species

n o n of mo ks, who generally act as spies such occasions , it will pursue the unfortunate object of its chase with alternate cunning and vio lence , until it brings it to a burning pile , upon which it is usually destroyed amidst a crowd of monks belonging to all the varieties of their genus , who , surrounding the pile , and enjoying

of m the agonies their victi , express their joy and satisfaction at having thus stilled for a mo

M O N A C H O LO GIA .

—M on chus Ca ma ldu ul . a 3 . C amald e Monk

lensis . , Linn — O utward Cha ra cters Bearded ; the beard

flowing down the chest ; head shorn , bristly,

li . furrowed with a near crown !fig feet shod ,

of shoes with a wooden sole ; gown white , made

a co rse woollen cloth, descending to the feet ; cowl round and loose !fig . sleeves straight 18 ul and wide !fig . ) scap ar of the same length

of as the gown , girded with a white sash made

cloth ; collar narrow, and sown to the gown ;

cloak white , ample , covering the whole body to

the feet ; shirt woollen, sometimes with a hair

cloth scraping the skin .

D emea nour a it v , austere ; g , gra e ; sings , as

a - sembled in flocks , seven times day, and at

- midnight, with a guttural deep toned and ex din l cee . c g y slow voice Is silent at home . C

cu ied Ve p with contemplation , as people say .

s i getate in dleness ; goes out very rarely . a Lives upon fish , eggs, veget bles ; quenches

his thirst with wine .

M A H L IA O N C O O G .

out Whenever he goes , he leaves at home his wooden shoes and takes leathern ones . The lay brothers are girded with a leathern strap . The female differs from the male only by a veiled head . — H a bita tWooded hills . M O N A C H O L O GIA .

— hus Fra ncis a . M 0na c 4 . Francisc n Monk

ca nus . , Linn — d O utward Cha ra cters . Beardless ; hea 4 shaven , with a hairy continuous crown !fig . ) feet half shod ; gown of coarse brown cloth ;

- e . cowl movable , h art shaped, short !fig with

- an appendix or breast plate oval !fig . and

- a back plate triangular !fig . hanging down below the white rope, with three knots with

which the belly is twice girded ; sleeves straight , and sufficiently wide to hide the hands in them

18 of a !fig . ) scapular none ; cloak short, w wi bro n colour, and fastened on the chest th a

of button bone ; a woollen shirt , sharply rub

bing the skin .

D emeanour a it w , boorish ; g , measured ; go n

of full pockets , in which he keeps the victuals f which he collects by begging, snu f, rosaries , & c . Emits an offensive smell ; despises gold and ll silver, and cares only about his be y, which he

l a - fil s twice day, either with meat or fish ; dur

ing the time intervening between the meals , he

A H L O GPA MON C O . ing about the means he should employ to per suade the Pope, Innocent III . , to approve of his

of manner living, he saw a pig weltering in the

H e mud . immediately followed this example , and presented himself to the Pope in the state which was the consequence ofthis process ; and i in the Pope, moved by such an extraord nary f O u . stance piety, granted his req est This hap pened about the beginni ng o f the thirteenth ! r century ofou era .

’ - I T L O TE . th RANS ATOR S N think tha te author has not done e e e f e justic to this sp ci s o Monk ry, for it has on many occasions dis

e d e H e play instincts mor akin to umanity than to Monk ry . There are ee e e e the e e e h , ind d, instanc s wh r sp ci s in qu stion as save d from

e e e ee d struction human b ings, who would hav b n otherwise torn to

e e d e u e e e e e the e e pi c s an d vo r d by som oth r sp ci s of sam g nus . I have happened to meet some individuals of the Franciscan species

u e - e q it innocuous, good natur d, and amusing ; so that, if th ey only e e e e e nl e d w r train d to mor cl a y habits, th y might be treate like u d h man beings without any anger .

M O N A C H O L O G IA .

i — in 5 . M onac hus Ca uc us C . apuch n Monk p ,

Linn . — O utwa rd Cha ra cters A large and bushy i beard ; head shaven , w th a hairy crown, broken

5 - on the forehead !fig . ) feet half shod ; gown o f a coarse brown cloth , patched over and over with pieces ofold cloth ofthe same kind as the

o n ll gown , and with two large folds the be y ; mi cowl movable , oblong , acu nated, towards the

o 12 tp ending in a funnel shape !fig . ) sleeves straight and wide !fig covering two hairy arms ; scapular , none ; girded with a white ,

- t . three knot ed rope !fig cloak , short and wide ; internal teguments , none .

i c ountn D emea nour a t e , abject ; g , sluggish ; b ance crabbed, very like something etween a satyr and a monkey ; smells like a goat ; keeps all that he gets in his cowl and in small pouches under the arm - pits has a very

flexible back, and prostrates himself on the ground at a sign from his superior ; never touches gold or silver ; and is continually eu L IA M ONA CH O O G . gaged in hunting certain li ttle animals which greatly molest his body, but which he never

n on kills, co sidering them of his own kindred account ofthe many points of similarity which exist between them , but which to describe here w H d - H ow ould exceed the limits of a an book . C ever angry a apuchin may be, his rage will immediately subside when he is shaken by the

all ff i n beard , because his a ections are centered

of this appendage his chin , which he tends and

H e preserves with the utmost care . yells at certain fixed hours ofthe day and night with a nasal, discordant voice . Eats and drinks all that he can get ; is silent the most part of the time, but has hardly any thought ; whenever

out he gets hungry, he leaves his lair and goes to beg his food ; sleeps on a heap of straw . The female of this species wears a black upper and a white lower veil , and covers her body with a white wrapper . The younger generation of this species is sub mitted to a yearly probation , during which time they are obliged to carry wood for fuel, to clean kitchen utensils , to sweep , to scrub , to kneel, to lick the ground with their tongues . M O N A C H O L O IA G .

H a bita t— Towns and villages . — O rigin . This species is a descendant of

i Franc scus , and may be considered as a variety of the species described in No . 4 . This variety was produced from the pure Franciscan breed

! by a certain Matthias Bassi .

’ T O N UTE— e I be RANSLAT R S This circumstanc , think , may con sidered the e e the as an additional proof of corr ctn ss of th eory, about the transmutation of the various living b eings and plants

one e e e e e from sp ci into anoth r, which has b n so triumphantly e sta

the Ves ti es o the N a tura blished l H istor o C rea tion by author of g f y f . A H L I A M O N C O O G .

6 . A o r A u ustin Friar, ug stine Barefooted

M ona chus A u us i nus D is a lc a us . t c e t Monk g ,

wa rd r - O ut Cha a cters . Beardless ; head sha

c o ven, with a hairy continuous crown !fig .

vered with a small black round hat , having

five compartments ; neck bare ; feet half- s hod ;

w of f go n black cloth , su ficiently wide , girded

on h of the loins wit a black sash, the ends w hich hang to below the knees ; cowl movable , — . s . short !fig brea t plate , oval !fig

- 14 back plate , angulated !fig . ) sleeves straight ,

turned up !fig . cloak, black , reaching to the

haunches ; internal teguments, woollen .

D emea nour ex ressi on o the c oun , imbecile ; p f

tena nce r u a it , c apulo s and idiotic ; g , reeling ;

sings several times in the, day and at midnight with a deep melodious voice ; spends his time in idleness and crapulence . O mnivorous ; though afflicted with an un ff quenchable thirst, he su ers at the same time i from hydrophobia, and cannot bear water ; th s

M O N A C H O L O GIA .

proves , that in seeking to quench with wine the in thirst by which he is tormented, he only it creases ; overpowered with wine , he dreams o fwi ne ; when the vines begin to bud , he mer rily sings .t— IIa bita Towns and villages near forests .

Females rarely known . This species originated in Portugal during the sixteenth century . E L MONA G O OG IA .

li S - M ona chus Ca r i t . C ar ne e 7 . Monk, hod

melita C a lcea tus . , , Linn

s — O utwa rd Cha ra cter . Beardless ; head sha 4 t ven , with a hairy continuous crown !fig . ) fee

shod ; gown of brown cloth cowl, loose and wide

- 1 3 . 9 a . !fig , ) breast plate, oval !fig ) back

n of plate , tria gular, descending very low ; collar wi brown cloth sleeves , straight and de !fig .

- sash , black, fastened below the breast plate ; cloak, white , woollen , of the same length as the

- gown, with a low cowl, a breast and back plate all of the same colour, and covering the gown with all its appendages ; a linen shirt ; and a

of waistcoat cloth .

D emea nour , sturdy ; countenance , fresh and healthy ; front, impudent ; shoulders , powerful ; it f a . g , sti f O mnivorous yells in the day and night with a harsh voice . Pugnacious and libidinous ; is fond of brawls and quarrels, and always ready to fight with

of s or individuals his own specie , with any one ;

M O N A CH O L O GIA . itis very dangerous indeed to meet him when

H e he is angry . is , moreover, a no less zealous

ofV worshipper enus than of Mars . t— H a bita Towns . This Species claims its origin from Mount

C to of armel , and boasts be descendants the prophets Elias and Elisha . It is , however, quite certain that it has not inherited any vir tues from its two pretended progenitors . MO N A CH O L O GI A .

—M ona chas C . 8 . armelite Monk, Barefooted

l a us a rmelita Disca ce t . C , , Linn

— rdl O utwa rd Chara cters . Bea ess ; head sha ven, with a hairy continuous crown !fig .

- h feet half shod ; gown of brown clot , girded with a black sash under a narrow scapular

s !fig . shorter than the gown ; cowl , loo e ,

a - wide sinuated, with n oval breast plate and

u - ac minated back plate sleeves , straight , turned up ; cloak of white cloth , reaching to the knees ,

e - with a versatil cowl, oval breast plate , and

- triangular back plate ; shirt, and other internal teguments , woollen .

D emea nour a it , modest enough ; g , slow, as if he were counting his steps .

on of Feeds fish , eggs, the produce the

of dairy, vegetables , and everykind farinaceous food ; never eats flesh ; prefers beer to every

of e other kind beverage , but does not r ject wine ; when replenished with food he usually sleeps ; sings at midnight with a deep mono tonous voice .

M O N A C H O L O GIA .

The female belongs equally to this as well as to the foregoing species ; her habits are better

f he il than those o the male . S ve s her face as a well as her he d , and wears a cloak somewhat f longer than that o the male .

S of ome this species live in towns, whilst any others establish themselves for a time in f a kind o hermitage . These hermits let their

r beards grow, and prese ve them after having

f or o . returned to the lair their flock , convent wi It claims the same descent, and th as much u j stice , as the shod species , described in the

in r of preced g numbe , which it is only M O N A C H O LO GIA .

S — a u e i 9 . r k M on ch s S rv ta . e vite Mon , Linn

t d ra cte — O u war Cha rs . Beardless in a mild

climate ; bearded in northern countries , where he usually has a beard cloven or di vided into

r w two pa ts ; head shaven , ith a hairy crown ,

broken on . the forehead !fig . neck , bare ;

of feet, shod ; gown black cloth ; cowl , movable,

- heart shaped !fig . with an oval breast

- plate, and a triangular back plate fastened to

it ; scapular broad, with an obtuse border !fig .

26 u ) sleeves, straight , t rned up ; black leather

sash , with cords hanging on the left leg ; cloak

of h black clot , reaching to the haunches a i m round hat , w th an exceedingly broad bri .

D emea nour a nd c ountena nce , those of a

a it . Jewish usurer ; g , sluggish O mnivorous ; yells at night with a guttural,

r tremulous voice , in such a manne as to wake from their sleep the whole neighbourhood of

is h lair . Luxury and greediness seem to have fixed

of w their abode in this species Monkery, hich

M O N A CH O L O GIA .

amasses money by usury, as well as by various other means , and keeps it with an extreme W anxiety . Every ednesday and Friday, in order to expiate the sins of greedi ness and lust which the individuals ofthis species commit on

fl o other days , they g themselves severely with knotted whips .

This species may be considered as bigamous,

O because it has two kinds f females . The one

ree clois tered is called the f , the other the . The first kind differs from the male only by a

on veil . The second has a blue star the fore

on head, and a red spot the left breast . Both kinds spend their time in idleness . — H a bita tTowns . This species owes its origin to seven Italian — merchants hence its greediness and usurious

. or was propensities Its first lair, convent, established in a suburb of Florence—hence its luxuriousness . MO N A CH O LO GIA .

- M hus L of . ona c a I O . Monk La Trappe

Tra ius . pp , Linn

ters — dl O utwa rd Cha ra c . Bear ess ; head brist 2 l . y, furrowed with a linear crown !fig ) feet, shod with wooden shoes ; cowl , black, movable,

of s ca u acuminated , short ; gown white cloth ; p lar, black , narrow, bound with a black woollen girdle ; sleeves , angulated !fig . shirt, wool len .

D emea nour a it , mournful ; g , slow, with eyes

x fi ed on the ground , and looking as if immersed

H e in meditation . flees from men , and avoids even the company ofi ndividuals belonging to

own Al or his species . ways silent, but yells groans several times during day and night with a feeble murmuring voice , and making some o d d contortions with his body .

G o n u raminivorous ; he feeds fr its , berries, vegetables , and roots . The herd of these monks is generally driven

h or toget er, either by a betrayed and mad love , by the loss of every thing and a despair of

A H L IA MON C O O G .

or f . A n recovering them, by the disgust of li e individual Of this species is not afraid of any thing, for he considers death as the best thing

H his which may happen to him . e spends time in weeping and lamenting ; he sleeps in a coffin ; he maintains that hope is a folly ; whenever he m is ill, no edicines are given to him ; when he is dying , ashes are strewn upon him by his

- di fellow monks , who , stan ng round him , are

H is envying his fate . object being destruction ,

of and not propagation , there are no females i this spec es .

' H e is the only one of all the monks who w orks ; he ploughs and digs the soil, but the fruits of his labour are consumed by his supe

Si c riors , who live comfortably and eat well .

tr r es non r obis fertis a ra a . They may be considered as grandchildren

Of Benedict !ride No . Their origin dates from the second part of the seventeenth cen tury, and their name is derived from a place ll ca ed La Trappe , in France, where they ori

inated g . M O N A C H O L O GIA .

—M ona chus P a ulinus . 1 1 . Pauline Monk

Linn . — twa rd hara cters . O u C Beardless ; head hairy, e with a shaven spot on the top !fig . fe t; h s od ; gown , black, woollen , wide ; cowl, movable , I O a f . , ) , triangular , scaly sti f !fig tm de of cloth double stitched, so that when his cowl is put o n it makes the head look as if covered with ll l mail ; co ar, b ack, bordered with white ; sleeves,

the - h wide , turned up at wrist, bag s aped, and

' enormously large atthe elbows s ca

- l pular, large,broad tai ed !fig . reaching in ll the front to the knees , and going down sti lower behind ; on both sides it is divided intO

two equal parts by a longitudinal seam, and

intersected by transverse ones ; sash , a black

n i . woolle rope , w th five knots !fig

D emea nour a nd countenance , producing a

a it dismal impression ; g , sluggish and reeling ;

ff oil emits a most o ensive smell of rancid . S ings at midnight with a clamorous voice .

S or s dl nores during the day, spend it in i eness .

M A C H O L O GIA O N .

H e e never touches meat , eggs , butter, chees , or l on mi k, but feeds fish and vegetables , which

O il H e he prepares with rancid . also occasion

- u - ally eats wild d cks , sea gulls , and other water fowl, considering them as fish , as well as frogs ,

& c H ff . e nu tortoises , snails , su ers from an quenchable thirst, as well as from very rebel lious lusts .

This species seems to be hermaphrodite , because a female has never yet been discovered . — H a bita tTowns and villages . This species originated during the fifteenth

C of century in alabria , the native country oil, and was produced by a certain Franciscus a A VL Paula , the Pope , lexander , having per f formed on this occasion the duties o mi dwife . This Francis is said to have been so much sa

turate d oil . with , that he could not be drowned This fact is considered by his descendants as a

’ miracle , though I don t see any thing wonder

r O r on ful in it , conside ing that il always emains the surface ofthe water . —M ona chus sui a 2 esu t. t 1 Je . . The J i , Linn

utwa r ha r cters — O d a . C Beardless ; head hairy, a shorn , with a sh ven spot on the to—p !fig . feet shod ; gown like a common frock coat, only.

of of very long, made black cloth ; cloak the same material and colour ; cowl, none ; scapular, none ; internal teguments black , with the ex ce tion of the p shirt , which is white , and made of w or fine linen ; a black cap ith three corners,

- a broad brimmed hat .

B - is th f N . . e o This aptpearance the Jesuit when he is going abou in his natural form . N0 other species of Monkery understands so well as he does to assume the various shapes of H umanity ; and he practises this art so often, l that in some countries , and particu arly in

s his thi island , he is scarcely ever met with in natural form .

D emea nour a it n , graceful ; g , slow, advanci g

ha bits with stealthy paces ; , anthropomorphous, for he never yells or screams either in day time or ni m at ght ; omnivorous , but oderate in his

M O N A C H O L GIA O .

and or appetites, not subject either to thirst any other peculiar disease common to the various f species o Monkery .

of Laziness, the common characteristic the

of genus monk, is not that this species , because

the Jesuit is , if not the most industrious , at all

of events the most busy all the bipeds , as he

of undoubtedly is the most sagacious them ,

homo without even excepting the genus , vul

ma n garly called .

A ul of pec iar characteristic this species, and

so i s extraordi which makes it formidable , the nary greediness of power and money which n a imates every individual belonging to it, not fo r for of himself, but the advantage his whole wi species . It is , indeed , principally o ng to this peculiarity of his di sposition that the Jesuit gets over difficulties insurmountable to every - of not other kind biped , and that unfrequently he succeeds in subduing his most strenuous opponents in such a manner as to convert them not only into his most abject slaves and tools,

of o wn but even into individuals his species , so that they become Jesuits to all intents and n w purposes . It is well k own that ild elephants , E L G MONA G O O IA .

being once caught and tamed by man , are employed for catching other elephants . The Jesuits understand admirably how to carry on f the same kind o sport with human beings . It

he of all must remarked, that the men whom

for they catch , they reserve converting into indi viduals o f their own species the cleverest and

of the richest their game, leaving the refuse

or to other species of Monkery, keep them as a their slaves in an uncowled st te . N o animal biped or quadruped has been so ll frequently described as this species . I sha , therefore, only mention that it originated in

Spain during the sixteenth century . There were female Jesuits for a short time during the

- above mentioned century ; they, however, soon di sappeared, and the species contrives to exist by catching human beings and converting them into Jesuits in the manner described above . This species was abolished in Western Europe

u a o abo t eighty years g , but it was preserved in R C ussia by the Empress atherine II . , who is well known for her many strange fancies . They II V . were recalled into existence by Pope Pius , at whose voice they emerged from their secret '