7HPSOH %HWK +LOOHO%HWK (O SUHVHQWV 3DUW\([SR Teach Your 6XQGD\ )HEUXDU\ $0 ² 30 Children Well 77KH3UKH 3U3UHPLHUHPLHU 6KRZFDVH RI WKH0DLQ/LQHWKH 0DLQ/LQH Prepping for the Big Day at home. &DWHUHUV ² (QWHUWDLQHUV ² 3KRWRJUDSKHUV ² 9LGHRJUDSKHUV By Hillel Kuttler 3DUW\ 3ODQQHUV ² 6WDWLRQHUV ² 6SHFLDOW\ 9HQGRUV )UHH $GPLVVLRQ s we have each week for miliar with the notes and with 5HPLQJWRQ 5G /DQFDVWHU $YH :\QQHZRRG a the past year and a half, the need to invest time to do it Amy 12-year-old son Yossi right. That allowed us to quickly and I don our kipot and settle on- review the notes he knew, study to the couch. I fluff up a green the ones he did not and then jump throw pillow and tilt toward it. right into his bar mitzvah por- Yossi, sitting on the other side of tion. the coffee table, adjusts his eye- The moment the first phrase glasses, leans forward and lifts of the first verse, V’haya ki tavo the brown strand pressed be- el ha’aretz, floated from Yossi’s tween the pages of his tikkun to lips, I found myself transported
find his place. I open my tikkun, back to early 1974. My father and too, taking care that the back cov- I sat side by side on his black er, holding on for dear life by two leather couch, studying the same threads, doesn’t rip off com- parshah from the tall tikkun I pletely. still use: the right column, as in “Where are we?” I ask. every book, consisting of the “On pasuk chaf-heh [verse printed version of the Torah; the 25],” Yossi responds. left column a facsimile of a “Okay, let’s review the last five scribe’s quill-pen rendition of psukim [verses] and then move those very verses as they appear ahead.” in Torah scrolls, minus all vow- Variations of this scene occur els, notes and punctuation. both regularly and sporadically Often, I ponder a just-com- as we prepare for September 20, pleted lesson and marvel at Yos- when Yossi will celebrate his bar si’s capacity to absorb new mate- mitzvah. Regularly, because we rial and to undertake this chal- WHILE YOU LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS EYES, remind each other that a lesson lenge in the first place. At such YOUR GUESTS CAN GAZE AT THE VIEW. is about due, whether on a Sun- moments, and when we recite day evening, a Thursday before Shema at bedtime or in the syna- Little League or a Shabbat after- gogue, I focus intently on the noon; sporadically, because the prayer’s words, v’shinantam l’- THE HYATT REGENCY AT PENN’S LANDING IS THE ONLY HOTEL days and times are loose, a luxury vanecha (and you shall teach to LOCATED ON THE HISTORIC PHILADELPHIA WATERFRONT. of our having begun preparing so your sons), and take to heart the far in advance. enormity—and the precious- So, in addition to dancing in our beautiful ballroom and dining on our exquisite four-diamond When we began preparing, ness—of what we share. cuisine, your guests will be treated to our spectacular river views. For more information about Yossi was in sixth grade. His I realize then that, beyond con- how to have an unforgettable wedding, call our Wedding Planner at 215 521 6560 or visit teacher the previous year had veying the lessons of behavior pennslanding.hyatt.com. taught the boys and girls the rudi- and of morality that are part and ments of Torah trop, the notes parcel of childrearing, I am that guide the reader in properly teaching in the classroom sense chanting the parshah (weekly of instructing with a book and a portion) in services. voice. How many other parents Knowing most of the trop ba- are privileged to experience that? sics, and having observed my I feel grateful to my father for preparations for holiday readings equipping me with the capabili- in our synagogue, Yossi was fa- ty to chant from the Torah.
4 September 4, 2008 MAZEL TOV! www.jewishexponent.com Teach Your Children Well Continued from page 4 That skill is fulfilling intellec- Yossi and I have had our mo- tually, too, because it opens paths ments, to be sure. When he goofs to a deeper understanding of the off sometimes, my fuse gets Torah, both in its content and in short. Even while delivering tips appreciating the role of the notes in ways meant to be gentle and as literary and grammatical de- constructive, I understand that vices. Some notes, like the et- he feels criticized—who wouldn’t nachta and sof pasuk, serve as es- take personally their dad’s inces- sential, yet drab, commas and pe- sant correcting of notes, pro- riods. Others, like pazeir or the nunciations and accents? darga-tvir combination, can jolt A few Sunday evenings ago, a congregant with their highs walking to the pool, Yossi’s frus- and lows and by building tension, tration bubbled over. He con- as in a musical piece. The shal- fessed to feeling pressured by the shelet even provoked rabbinical pace and by my demands. Per- commentary due to its exceed- haps the approach of his bar ingly rare occurrences. mitzvah also weighed on him. Studying the trop can also en- He suggested a change. In- courage readers to follow trails stead of my leading him in the that can deepen their Biblical preparation of several psukim at repertoire. Because I had studied a time, he wanted to study them the Torah trop and enjoyed the on his own and report back to me experience, I welcomed the for review. I soon consented, chance, as a teenager, to learn proud that he was asserting him- from our youth minyan’s rabbi self on a meaningful and serious the other distinct trop that are ap- matter. plied to the holiday readings of Now, we sometimes do it his Philmont Country Club’s newly renovated 88,000 square- the Scrolls of Esther, Ecclesi- way, sometimes mine. The other astes, Song of Songs and Ruth. night, he said, “I’m in charge!” foot clubhouse presents a perfect scenic and spacious facility From there, I listened carefully The third time he proclaimed and eventually taught myself the that in a five-minute period, we to host a Bar and Bat Mitzvah. Philmont offers four banquet trop that are used for each laughed simultaneously. It is be- Haftorah and the even more coming his favorite tongue-in- and event rooms, as well as spectacular outdoor accommoda- beautiful one that’s heard only on cheek retort in other contexts, the High Holy Days. too. tions from our Brazilian hardwood porch to our red bricked Yossi and I have not discussed We’ve got a few weeks left to such matters yet. Likely, that is complete our study. Then, we’ll patio overlooking our Olympic size swimming pool. because our study is a work in review every aliyah. As we ap- progress and I don’t want to over- proach the date, I’ll take him to whelm him now with extra layers the empty shul a few times so he Philmont prides itself on its pleasure to preserve the heritage of meaning. I recognize, too, that can practice from the bimah this experience is not for every- while I listen for whether his and traditions of its members and guests. Our team of sales one. Many parents hire tutors be- voice carries to the farthest cause they are stretched too thin reaches (no point doing all that specialists will help you plan your event down to the most inti- as is, with work, home and chil- studying just to have people turn dren’s school obligations. Others to each other and whisper, “what mate detail to ensure resounding reviews by your guests. lack the knowledge to impart or, did he say?”). if they have it, they’ve gotten In the meantime, there’s over- rusty. Several friends who read lap: my younger son Gil, 11, ap- Torah well opted to hire tutors to proached me two weeks ago. 301 Tomlinson Road v Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006 avoid the conflicts that arise any- Rather than read his nature or 215-947-1271 v www.philmontcc.org way when parents ask teenagers World Series books before bed, he to do something. “Pick up your held a photocopy behind his back. voice on that revi’i” could come It came from my tikkun. It was across like “Pick up your socks” the chart of all the Torah notes. to the sensitive adolescent ear. “Can we start learning for my bar mitzvah?” Gil asked. TheThe PlacePlace I smiled, and we headed to the 0D]HO 7RY couch. I placed Gil’s finger on forfor CakesCakes some common Torah notes. 1RZ 3ODQ
6 September 4, 2008 MAZEL TOV! www.jewishexponent.com