8 'Wleeltl~ 'lRc"lew of Soclet\?, 8rt anb llterature.

VOL. V., No. I. CLEVELAND, 0., DECEMBER 7, 1889. PRI\E FIVE CE;\TS.

A DISTINGUISHED WURKER.

MISS DEBUTANTE (enthusiasticaIM: How GRAND IT JllUST DE TO BE A MAN! MR. SOFTLY, BY THE WAY, WHAT IS YOUR VOCATION? MR. SOFTLY: OH! I AM A I'ROMINE!'iT MEMBER OF A:-i INSTITUTION ON FIFTH AVENUE. MISS DEBUTANTE: INDEED, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? MR. SOFTLY: I AW-SIT IN THE CLUB WINDOW FROM TWO TO FOUR. TOWN TOPICS. Cs(ie(jUNTNEI{~ ~ONS FU S ~eat s~I\jacl\ets.wrapsaroddoaks, shoulder capes. pelerines,moffs.etc. in choice desiglls,at moderate pricej. ~b~her 181e FIFTH AVENU~

NEW YORK SECURITY AND TRUST CO" 4G 'VALL STREET. CAI>ITAIJ, $1,000,000, SUUJ)JJUS, $;;00,000. CIlA RLES S. FA I Relll LD, President. W;\1. L. STROI G, 2d Vice-President. WII. H. APPLETV ',1st Vice-President. JOII. L. L!\MSO~, Secret:lr)'. This COOlp:tny is :tuthorizcd to art as Execulor, Trlls!l'(', Adlllinistr:ttor, Guardi:ln, Agent and Receiver. Is a legal uepository for Conrt :lnd Trllst Fllnus. Takes the ('lit ire charge of real and personal estates, collecting the rents and prolits, and :lttending- lo :III such det:lils as :In individual in like capacity could do. Receives deposits s~.iect to sight drafts, allowing intl'rest on daily balances, :lnd issues certificates of deposit IJl~aring interest. --'------Fine Complexion, New ParkSorRoads TIFFANY &CO., Smooth, Soft Skin. SA~LE. UNION SQUARE, NEW YORK, Mention this :lfa,:,'a::;il/I! amI semI -1 stamps FOR • for sample of P.\CKER's TAR S(lAI'. Use .(- THIRD FLOOR. it every night with warlll w:lter ;1I1d rough 5·" wash-cloth, anu you will Ile gr:ltified with SIX '"rI-IUUSAND China, Decorated Pottery soft, smoolh skin and improved complexion. and Class. Do not hesitate to use Packer's Tar Soap on ) our face. It is absolutely pure, Silver-Leaved Maples, In view of 'intended chan(Jes ht bland, and grateful to the senses, It is thei1' sfLles1'oom for PottC1'!} mul adapted and extensively IIseu for washing Beautifully straight trees, from one inch to Glass, the delicate skin of infants, and in the Messrs. 71;jfan!f (f; Co., !",we treatment of skin anu scalp diseases. It one and one-quarter inches in diall1et~r, 1'I1,ade a 1'evi..~ion of the prices of prevents Chapping, Chafing, and Redness; the'h' stock of cu res IIchi ng, Dand ru fT, Acne, etc., and is suitable for selting out in new parks, roaus an invaluable antiseptic purifier for ofTen­ DINNER, 13BEAJ(.F.lIS'l', and or lawns, will be sold 011 very reasonable sive perspirations, di charges, etc. 25 cents. TEA SER J:ICES, Druggists, or terms. Full particulars will be furnished 'Which, lOUh ((, 'I'el'Y few except'ions, THE PACKER MFG. CO,,10~~~ll:~:~k:t., I 011 applic:lIion. Address they now OjfC1' crt tlte bare cost oj' , I 'importation. Also a number oj' Letters We buy and sell bills of Exchange choice and impo1'taut pieces of Con and make cable transfers of money to Europe, Australia, and the E. A. IDE , Pottery, rasf:,s, J(wdiniC1'es, &c., of West Indies' also make Collections at eqnally c(,tt1'active p1'ices. and issue Commercial and Traveling IUGA, "It Credits, available in all parts of the Cred • world. Brown Hrother8 1£ Co., BanJ(ers, 59 Wall St. I\IlllIl'OC Co., N. Y. TOWN TOPICS, I The ~tiIlman Perish the rhought. "No, my liltle boy," said old Goshby to his fivt:'year old, "the world is not flat, it's .I. W ~RREN COLEMAN, ManaKer. as rtJul\(l as your ru bber ball." "And why is it," continued the young in­ THE NATHAN IMPORTING CO. recommend vestigator, '. that it's sometimes day and For Domestic Use their famous foreign-bottled table clarets, at sometimes night ?" Mr. G .shhy, pleased at his boy's bright very reasonable prices. A pure article is guaranteed. A telephone c queslions, t"ok down his globe from the mail order will meet prompt attention and instant delivery. book-ca~eand lJroceerled to explain: "Now, NATHAN INPORTING CO.• my hoy," said he, "this is a good represen­ I7Z Bank Street. tation of the shape of the earth we live on, and this is the way ir moves upon ils axis. 63ntil ~tfd)ft. The world is always moving, and the sun is ~tutfdJt = ~anbhtng, ~ttblit mile~ lludJ 42 e"ttaft. millions of away ulJ in space shining grot3c~ ~iid)cr on the earth. Let me see, I haven't any­ . IDlein £ogCt bClltjd)ct ltnt> .Bcitid}riften l)olte bcftcns em, ~fo()(cl1: l.'~tl511r," ,,9JlobclIluelt," ,,1teber~tlnb tilth IDleer," ,,~tlrtell: thing here to illustrate the sun to you. Run ,.~ttfJeint," ,,~hJUt ~JJ1eer" ~cfterrllllg into the kitchen and bring papa an apple or ltlube/' iJele 311m locrbcn ollf vrompl in~ .ptlU03 gcficfert. ~()otoOropl)ic,2(tblll1ts ilt rcid)cr 2!1I~ltJO{)l. an egg." The little fellow, greatly amused and pleased, went to the kitchen and returned in CONGER & COLLINGS MANTEL CO. a moment with an egg. "Maluma ain't got no apple," said he, "but here\ an e~g." Artistic Mantels, Tiles and Grates, Fine Gas Fixtures and Electroliers, Continuing his illustrated lecture, the fond Fire-Place furniture, in Rras~ and Iron, Lamps in Brass, Silver and Iron, and shades suitable. Specialties in our line continually being added. parent said: "Now, hold the egg in your right hand. That's right, my boy, Imagine 817-88a EUOLID AVENUE. C. H. COLLINGS. c. H. PRI1CHAkD that the e~g is the sun and keep your hand steady. There, set:? the earth moves in this manner, and here upon this spot we live. HOLIDAY GOODS. • • They are wortlJy of} our attention as regards novelties and prices. See how we are moving away from the sun? FANCY COODS-~l1 exten5ive line that will interest you. As we move away, it gets darker and darker, MI LLI NERY COOOS-Everything marked down. and lighter and lighter on the other side of ~OPEN SATURDAY EVENINGS.~ the earth. " SHAVV'S 9a and 95 Euclid Avenue. The father was about to congratulate him­ self upon his ability as an instructor when the boy interrupted him. "fhe egg," he askerl, "is the sun ?" "Ye'," relJlied the father. "Whew!" said the little fellow, "what a time the people on earth wduld have if the real sun was an egg, and if the egg was bad and dropped on the earth." 800-808 Superior St., Have just r~ceived a large stock of fJ.Cot Much Difference. I II a m lIsi.: slore. MACKINTOSH GARMENTS Y()Ullg lad)' 10 dirk-I< The other day I For Gentlemen and Ladies-the fine~t line ever shown in Cleveland. Also a complete line uf sent the servant for some music and I wish to exchange il." ~7"iD.te:r Goeds., "Certaillly, Miss. Did we make a mis­ ~ubber Boots and Shoes, Hat Covers, Buggy Aprons, Door Mats,etc., and a choice selection of Toys. take ?" "Yes, a slight mistake wns made, I ut I Ohio Rubber Co"mpany. don't know who is to blame, you 01' the servant." HE Hf~ST edu~allon is alway, the cheapest. An T educatiun i~ something to be u,ed a li/ctime, and "What did you send for?" should be 01 fir-t qualltv. TH E BI<:S I is non~ tnu good "A Beethoven SYIll phony." fur anyhody. You ,ho"ld not allow a few dollars' difTer­ ence 10 cost to de~ide the queslIon, or atlel,d an inferiur "And wh,lt did you receive?" idI schaul lor any reason There is not the lea't doubt ahout whIch IS the LA K\, r;s I allu 1-a.S I III UIlIO. The Spencerian Business Colleg~, of Cleveland, wa~ e,tablished ",I have Fifteen Dollars in my Inside in 184';. Uy regular purchase alllltr.'lbler it embraces ~ix bu~iness schools, including the coll~ge of Bryant, Pocket'." Spencer Lusk & Stratton [the FI R~T of the celebrated Bry"nt & Stratton colle~e~, estabh,hed to 18S2). It pay,'to attend the best. Day and eveninl{ seisions. 422 Superior St. SPENCER. FELTON &: "Oh." LOOMIS. Proprietors. 2 TOWN TOPICS. PERA HOUSE. O NEXT WEEK. Lveeum Theatre. Matinees Wednesday and Saturday. EXTRA I Prof. HerrITlann's '1' TRANS- ATLANTIQUE MONDAY EVENING,DEC. 9· VAUDEVILLES.

Ideal Extravaganza Co. "The only European Novelty Co. in th·is.~ou~trv, devoid of burnt COl k and Irish Sketches. -11. Y. World. Season '88-89-Crystal Slipper. Next ,week-The Rostonians.

BLUE-BEARD, JR. Comm~ncing Monday. Dec. ~th, Wednesday aRd 200 l'EOPL"~ ON THE l-T.\GE. Mis s ~~I:aIYi ~~Ieesp a ~e r. Direct from its long runs in Chicago and Phila. delphia. In Her Sensational Comecy Drama, IT'SEATS NOW ON SALE. THE SCOUT'S DAUGHTER, Supported by an Excellent Company and her Fa­ H. R. JACOBS' THEATRE. mous Horse, DICK. Next week-Frank I. Frayne. Next Week, Commencing Monday, Dec. 9. SPEOIAL ENGAGEMENT! DRURO~:~ f~~~: ~~~70~~: M. H. C. KENNEDY'S 'J he pleasing resort for ladies and children. Pre­ seullng this coming week, Monday, Dec. 9· Lights and Shadows. ~~:Ii:' LAVARNIES p~i~~I~se The California Magnets. A Five A~l Panoramic Me!l)-drama, from the pen of Mr. Charles S. Gayler. Week December J6-N. S. Wood. SYMONDS, HUGHES & RASTUS. J. J. MURRAY AND LOTTIE GRAY.

SECOND CONCERT NOTICE.-Proprietor. W, S, Drurv, tend"rs a (re~ inVItation to all III tie children on Saturday alter­ -OF THE- noon, U usual price of admlssiou IOC to all children sc. CLEVELAND Mr. &Mrs. J. C. H. Vance's Philharmonic Orchestra SCHOOL FOR DANCING WI<;JSGEUUElt'8 HALL, -AT- Classes (or Juveniles, Saturday morn­ ings and aftprnoons. Adults- l:eginners-Mond'y and Tues­ day evenings, Advanced, Friday and Saturday evenlllgs. I\larried couple" W~dne,days, fortnleht Iy ~ Pupils rc'cel\'ed In all classes at any time­ A,semblies, first Friday iu each month. CHRISTMAS CARDS -AND- HOLIDAY GOODS. Largest Variety, Latest Designs, and at G~N~~d~;ro:a;~~:p:et- Mr. and Mrs. Jules E. HeY~'ood's LO'~vest Prices. i Winttr Term in SOfiety Dancing, i1lg tbeir wardrobe by tl'e addi- I 8EGINNERS RFCEIVED AT Walter Smith, HEARD'S HALL, lion of tbe latest styles of Dress 76 EUCLID AVE. 329 Superior St., CLEVELAND, O. , ,'~ __ ~Mondays, Wednesdays,and Saturdays and Evening Suits will COl/Stilt tbeir ~atR\',M. Ach'anced Class in all of the btest interests by paying a visit to dances and" The German," Fridays, Fourth Select KERN'S RHEUMATIC CURE. SOCIal and German Dec 201h: rio, her's nrchestra, Mr. D. Williams. 61 Grant St.• Cleveland, says: Juvenile and Ladie.' c1asq, :-aturdays al 2 o'clock. .. I used Kern's Rhpumatic Cure for an attack or Pupils received at any time, term cummences from acule rheumatism, and it cured me at once. I tnok 206 date o( entry. some of my hOllle to'a neighbor who could hardly Private lessons by appointment. Private walk with crutches, aud it cured him. My wife has Superior St. c1a,oes and dance arranged for entert',inments at been a terrIble sulTerer from Neuralgia, and nothing residences or aca"emy as"deslred, Call or write for but this medicine ever helped her," circular. Residence 806 Woodland ave. FOn SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. .., TOWN TOPICS. ,J

.. _-_ . --...... ,;,..~\. "O.~\ ~.\,..\.~

IN CH ICr\(;O.

"I'M REALLY DEI.'.~I-ITED TO MEET YOU, MRs. HRU\\S()t', A:-IlJ HOW IS MR. BIWNS():-I?" "VERY WELL, I1"I,EED." "DQI':s HE S:\ORE AS LUUD AS HE USEI) TU'" " MAJ)A~II<:?" ,. 01-1, DO:-l'T (;E'I' A:"\(;R\,. I WAS illS WIFE In' illS FIRST ~I.\RRIAGE, A:"I) I.OVEII liD! WELl.. WE WERE J1IVORCED I~ 1877."

WORTH WHILE.

T is easy enough to be pleasant, It is easy enough to be prudent, I When life flows by like a song, When nothing tempts you to stray, Hut the man worth while is one whu will smile When without or within no voice of sin When everything g~es dead wrong. Is luring your soul away. For the test of the heart is trouble, 'But it's only a negative virtue And it always comes with the years, Until it is tried by fire, AnJ the smile that is worth the praises of earth, And the life that is worth the honor of earth, Is the smile that shi~1es through tears. Is the one that resists desire

By the cynic, the saJ. the fallen, Who had no strength for the strife, The world's higl~way is cUllluered to-day, They make up the item of life. But the virtHe that conquers passion, And the sorrow that hides in a smile, It is these that are worth the homnge of earth, J~~II!~~-~--~'--'- For we find them but once in a while. 4 TOWN TOPICS.

The house', was built on the stock 'company plan and opened in September, 1875. It took $187,000 to build it, and" Uncle John" not only invested all hiS money, but mortgaged his real estate for the sake of the venture-anu sub equently lost every penny 01 it. When the final era'h came, he wa forced into bankruptcy, and A. W. Fairbanks, who was part owner, bought the house for A Wukly Rwiew oj Society, Art and Literature. John Elisler wlten it was sold under the hammer. Fairbanks Lithograph Building, cor. St. Clair & Wood streets, Telephone. 852. agl eed to pay $52,000 (or the theatre, bnt was unable to raise the Entered at the Post·Office at Clevelaud, 0., as Second Class matter. money, so that a week or so later another sale was ordered am! ROSEN BERG & ROSE. Puhlishers and Proprietors. M1'. 1\1. A. Ha.nna, its present owner, purchased it for $41,000, less than one·fourth of its original cost. UNDREDS o( people who have H occasion to pass Su perior street " HONEST JOHN" was the title 1\11'. Ellsler was known by ha ve been wondering and specula· among the members of the dramati.: profe,sion, and after ting .1!JOut the identity of the red· his assignment he determined to pay every cent of his indebtecl­ headed damsel driving a real live ness. He has since discharged every ohligation and has paid while horse in a clothing store win. many iln account he was no~ ouliged to liql\ld,lte. The citizens of dnw. Many supp0se that a Cleve· Cleveland gave him a uenefit on June 4, IS7S, and $1,400 was raised land girl couldn't sum up courage for llim. He paid oul every dollar of it, against the e.unest advice ://1/ enough tn face the gaping crowd and of his friends. Whenlte finally severed all connections with the play ~/, be made the butt of ridicule at all house, which was the dream and ambition of his husy life, he de­ ,-.;".-., hours of the day. Others termined never to enter its portals again and he faithfully kept his ...."C:.c';, . :<-'j, imagine that her flaming woru. It is said that he carried this resolve to such extremes, tLat -~ red hair is a wig. The whenever he had occasion to go up or down Euclid avenue, he . young woman's name is avoided pas~ing the Opera House hy taking the opposite side of Annie Sprague. Some the street. Tone of his ventures since have been crowned with years ago s!Je was a pupil success, until he finally returned to his early love of acting. On of Rockwell school, and Wednesday last, after an absence from the Opera House boards of her red hair is the simon. nearly twelve years, he again appeared in that theatre before a pure, genuine white horse Cleveland alluience, which years ago was wont to adore dear old quality. If she could hear the facetious remarks made about her Uncle John. by men and women, her ears woald tlllgle all day long. A slay of five minutes at the window will suffice to hear hundred~ of re­ "llERE is trouble brewing among the soldiers' and sailors' marks like the following: 1 monument committee about the figure that is to surmount " Jee, that must be fun." the shaft. Sculptor Scofield has lesigned a figure representing "Well, she',; got the elegant gaIL" the goddess of liberty with sword and shield, in an attitude of de­ " She knocks me." Fiance. Some of the memuers of the committee are in favor of that "H she isn't chewing gum? " rlesign, whilC:others want something else. In fact, each committee­ " She's reading a dime novel! " man has an idea of his own, and the row promises to be agood deal "She can't read, she only makes believe." warmer than the one over the cavalry group. Some want a drummer­ "J u. t look at the red head. It's enogh to set the place on fiire." boy, others want a private soldier,still another thinks that a figure of Lincoln would be the proper thing, and, strange to say, no one has LE\'I T. SCOFIELD, the architect, is one of the most modest yet suggested a figure (If Garfield. TOWN TOPIC suggests a heroic of men. Although he earned the rank of captain during the ligure or Superintendent Schlllitl in an attitude of defiance, defying war, he prefers the plain M1'. to the military title. :'ome time a crowd of politicians and boodle commissioners. More power to ago, his plan for the North Carolina penitentiary were accepted Schmitt! by the legislature of that State, and he had to go before a legislative a\~'kwarel committee. During his first visit in Raleigh he was introtluced to PROllA13LY .the mo t dilemma for an actor to be the committee by a tall, military looking gentleman, who would placed 111 IS to be obligeel to II tter all sorts of grand senti­ scorn a title ~ower than that of general. The chairman solemnly ments, whil.e half of the audience i snickering at him. Just in such a predicament was Orrin Johnson at the Opera House on arose and said: II Gentlemen of the Nvrth Carolina legislature, allow me to introduce to you Majah Scofield, of Ohio." Wednesday night of last week. Orrin would go through fire and Mr. Scofield blu:hed but said nothing, and the next time he water for the lovely heroine, he was grand and fearful in his de­ visited Raleigh, the same indiVIdual again introduced him this nunciation of the "illain, but he rlirln't thrill the audience worth a time as "Colonel Scofield, of Ohio." But the climax was rea~hed cent-not because he was unable to peak his little piece, but be­ caus~ at the third visit, when Sccfield made his final appearance before only a few moments before, the beautiful, but careless, the committee. This time he was" General Scofieltl of Ohio" herOine had been leaning her face upon his manly bosom, and that and unable to ri 'e above a general, he remained sati hed with th'at part of the coat covering it was full of nice, white powder. distinction and did not visit Raleigh again. TELEGRAPHY i' ~10t what it uSld to be from a financial point " of vIew. Supenntendent Wright, of the Western Union " UNCLE JOHN" ELL LER'S appearance at the Opera 1elegraph Co., was a ked recently about the salaries received by House, a week ago last \¥ednesday, wa an event COI\. telegraph op.erators to-day, and he replied: "Beginners get all the nected with peculiarly sad reminiscences. Eleven and a half year way from thirty dollar.' to forty dollars a month, and after they "'go he lost that theatre, and with it went the. avings of a lifetime. have become experts 111 the profe sion, they earn seventy dollars TOWN TOPICS. 5

and sometimes as high as eighty dollars. But unless they.are chiefs conversation over the wnes between Brotherhood Champion A I of departments they never get beyond that. Wages' are lower Johnson and League Upholder Davis I-hwley. than they were ten years ago, and of course, considerably lower than at the time of the war. Then, the telegraph operators re- HE day after Thanksgiving Chief Dickinson, of the fire de­ . ceived the highest wages ever paid. T partment, received hy express a pair of lively 'possums as a complimentary gift from the chief of the fire department of Atlan­ "'WENTY years ago Engineer John Whitelaw, of the Water ta, Ga. 1 Works department visited New York City and in a ra"h " What are you going to do with these things, Chief?" asked moment was induced to go to Baal h's Theatre and see the great Secretary Spencer." actor in the role of Cardina! Ric/u/ieu. The next day he was "It's a new brand of rats," replied the big chief. "I got asked by a friend how he liked the performance, and not being tired of the old-faHhioned City Hall rats, and 1 am going to let 'em much of a theatre-goer, he replied: "Oh, I liked it well enough, loose and start a new breed. I think we'll get rid of the City hut I tell you that man Booth isn't long for this world. He is a Hall rats in that manner, for being of different breeds they will dying man. How he can gel along and play that part with that fight like Kilkenny cats, and kill one anot.her off." terrible, consumptive cough is more than I can see." MONG the ent.erpri~ing little newsboys in town is a black­ Al 0 a public school teacher the other day: "I am so glad A eyed, black-hall'ed )Ittle fellow, whose first name is Ben. S that we had our first snow un a vacation day. You know it He has a fine, expressive face, and would pass anywhere as an came the day after Thanksgiving and we had no school then. I Italian, although he comes from the land of Kossuth. Selling just dread the first 3now, for on that day more than on any other papers is but a side issue\vith him. He is quite a pet among the during the year, the children are noisy and unruly. The novelty is ladies in the art club, and is one of the regularly employed models. so great that, no matter how good the children, they are tempte": Ben earns thirty-five cents an hour wren on model duty, and as he to bring snow·halls into the £choolroom and drag in as much snow aptly expresses it, "It's quite a snap for doin' nothlll'." as possible upon their shoes. By the time school opened again, the novelty Ilad worn off." T is popularly supposed that the practice of law is among the I most remunerative professions, and that famous lawyers be­ ROP-a-cent- in- the-slot-and·get.your-correct-weight machines come wealthy much sooner than doctors or ministers. Ex-attorney D are distributed all over the town, in hotel corridors, theatre General James Lawrence said the other day: "l am really sur­ lobbies, drug stores, and at every ooint where crowds are liable to prised to see so many newspapers make the statement that Tom congregate. The same concern used to have weighing machines Powell is worth $150,000, when I know he isn't. It's an absolute

with a II drop a nickel in the slot" arrangement, but they were impOSSibility for .an attorney to accumulate so much wealth unless poor paying investments, and were soon changed for those now in he dabbles and speculates in outside enterprises." use. The first machines were failures, as scarcely a dime per week . on the average was collected in each machine. The local agent ONKEY furs have been fashionable for some time. A dealer who makes a tour among the machines every week, says that the M on Euclid avenue g'lve a sign painter some copy after hav­ difference in the receipts is enormous. In his weekly trips he ing received a new stock of monkey goods. The merchant wanted gathers in sometimes 200, and oftener 300, pennies in every ma­ a sign for his window and he furnished the following copy: "Mon­ chine, and in one place he collected in one week $10, quite a pay· key Stole & Muff, $6." When the sign arrived the painter was ing inve,tment, if it is considered that the scales don't have to be found to have made an error, but it served the purpose, as it drew fed and do not have to come around every Saturday for their salary. a crowd around the window. The merchant noticed the unusually It doesn't seem possible that a thousand persons drop their pennies large crowd, and joining the throng on the sidewalk he saw, to into one machine a week, but it's a (act nevertheless. his horror, that the sign read: Monkey Stole a muff. INETEENTII century innovation,; have an inclination to make $6 N people lazy. Thanksgiving afternoon a stroller about town had occasion to wait for a friend in the hallway of a large Euclid HEN New Yorkers have occasion to patronize Cleveland avenlle block that is filled up to the sky parlor with offices. On W restaurants, they express astonishment at the low price~. the elevator door the following sign was suspended: "This ele­ Local restaurants are not grand, gaudy and fashionable j but, as a vator will be closed at noon on Thanksgiviug day.'" The stroller New Yorker aptly remarked the other day, "The costliness of the waited about twenty minutes, and during that tim~, thirty men and furnishings in New York restaurants is really the cause of the ex­ warnell wandered up to the elevator, read the sign very carefully, orbitant cost of meals in that city. I have frequently paid three stopped and meditated. Only five of the thirty summoned up dollars for a dinner in New York city, which wasn't a bit better courage enough to walk up stairs, and the rest returned to thr than 1 can get here for a dollar." street rather than crawl up. T is a treat of a lifetime to visit a theatre while a holiday mat· HERE are few greater surprises on earth-unless it is to be I inee is in progress. Few of the regular patrons of the house T hit by a trolley wire-than to hold the telephone" listener" go to the playhouse on such a day, and yet the house is crowded to one's ear and receive a sudden shock. Shocks vary materially, with people who go but mace or twice a year, attending either but none of them are pleasant. The other day, Engineer Rawson, Thanksgiving or Christmas matinee. Such people get more good, of the city civil engineers' department, was pleasantly conversing solid enjoyment out of a play in one afternoon than the average with a friend miles away, when he suddenly dropped the" cussed man does in a hundred visits to the theatre. The men and women thing" and made a jump. He explained afterwards that he thought fall in love with the hero and' heroine, and hate the villain with he ~as hit on the ear with a good sized base ball bat. A by­ such a genuine hatred that they greet him with hisses whenever stander observed that it probably was the result of an animated he dares to show his treacherous face behind the footlh1'ht~ TOWN TOPICS. 6

;..JOT A HO~ICEOP:\TIIIC DOSE.

MRS. STO;..JE: IT WAS TAKE;'; \\'IIE:\ I \VAS EIl:IITEE:\, DUl'TOR; l:l'T, ALAS! 1 IIAn: CIIA:\I:EII SI:\nc TIII,:i\'.

DR. LITTLEI::L\T (wI/v lIwey allows a 7ilt"I!/I,)' ft/til'll/ to jish ill .dUI!/"7i· 7i't/t"rs): CIlA!'\(;ED! YES, BL'T HO\\' DII'RO\'EII I EII:IITEI·;N IS SUCII A LA:\KY A(;E. ----, - "======

FA,)HION ITEMS. Blue eyes will be as popular as ever, and until after Christmas, reticules will be worn full. BORES will not be popular this \rinter. Sleeping--car passengers dress usually t!Il Irailll! this season.

:"Joses will be worn high by the more aristocratic families. Cheques \rill be popular with tailors. There is a tendency to short pedigrees among our fashionable Late news from ~ladagascar states that the ladies of that people. region are wearing their smiles on the other side of their For young II ll: 11, morals will be worn loose, if at all. mouth this year, while the gentlemen hare ceased to wear cuffs A prominent member of society was seen promenading on on the ankle. substituting therefore the white bea\'er hat tha't Sunday with a genuine Russian Jag on, but it is doubtful if the was so popular in America last Summer. general public will adopt it. Bottles will be used tl1l5 Winter to decorate closets. and not Returned tra\'elers are wearing their bank accounts rather for the ordinary purposes. short. Dogs have by no means gone out of fashion, and cats are yet Patent leather shoes will not be worn by Anarchists this popular with maiden ladies of uncertain age, but in the way of . Winter. animals, horses will undoubtedly go best. Shoes and stockings will be quite generally worn by the 400. A nice German favor for those who can afford it, is a cheque The prevailing color for noses this Winter is royal purple. on a reliable bank for $1,000. TOWN TOPICS. 7 FLAT, WITH BATH /('OOM, TO-LET.

I.

"IT'S A SECRET, YOIr KNO\\"," "O'-I! TIIE:-I TELL IT QuiCK." II, NOTHING VENTURI:', NOTHING HAVE. ------11~-\---.:::::::i:::::;w======::::J:~ -----'-,'---.-- ER eyes say" yes," yet her H lips say" no ;" I really think I will dare il. The kiss that is stolen is sweet· est, and though Her eyes say "yes," yet her lips say" no." And if she be vexed with me, let it be so ; For the sake of the prize, I can bear it : Her eyes say" yes," yet her Iips say" no;" I really think I will dare it. r. B. i/. .. HAVEN'T you got any flies to this stage?" asked Ill, the low comedian of the theatre manager. ~,~------j~,------=:::...:;:;::======::::T;"t .. Well no," said the theatrical manager apologetically, .. we --I haven't got them yet, but we mean to have them soon-we've got the wings."

PEAKING of agents," said S the man with the loud "OIce, .. I have men pushing my man­ ufactures in every city in the United States." .. What do you manufacture ?" asked a bystander. .. Wheelbarrows," replied the man. 8 TOWN TOPICS. Judge D. D. Belden and wife, of Denver, are the guests of Mr. and Mrs. E. C. Parmelee. Mrs. Heiden is Mr. Parmelee's twin si,ter, and the judge is one of the pioneers of the West, enjoying the distinction of having been the first mayor of Omaha. Years and years ago, Jndge Belden was one of the attorneys of Warren, and associated in law practice with Judge Ranney.

NE of the principal MUSICAL. ,,O drawbacks to re­ , ceptions ane! dancing --o.HE next concert of the Philharmonic Orchestra win be given parties on a larger scale, 1 Tuesday evening, December loth, at Case Hall. The soloists is the absence of a suita­ will be l\'fr. John Marquardt, violinist and Mr. O. F. Comstock, hie rendezvous. The haritone. The programme will he as follows; Overture," Eg.. .111. number of houses prov.idee! with llIont," (Beethoven); Violin Solo. "Fantasie Appassionata," 1~ reasonably large danCing rooms IVieuxlemps), !\fl'. John !\'farquardl; Symphony D Minor, (R. 'can be counted on the fingers of Vnlkmann), "Das Schloss am l\1eer," (R. Becker), Mr. O. F. one hanel, and among these the Comstock; Music from" Lohengrin," (R. Wagner); Vocal Solo, largest of them cannot hold a i\'Ir. O. F. Comstock; "Les Preluclcs," (Symphonic Poem-Li,zt). quarter of the owners' visiling Crowded columni; prevent the detailed account of the concert list. That has been fully tested of the Vocal Society lin last Thursday that is its due, both from with Mr. Ralph Worthington's elegant hall room ancl Mrs. S. C. the real worth of the programme and the truly artistic manner in Everett's dancing room. The Opera House stage, the other which it was carried out. It should be briefly said, however, Ihat night, was uncomfortably crowded, aud about the only place left the change from Case Hall to Music Hall was a decided improve­ is the Gatling Gun armory, which is not always accessihle. The ment, that the increased chorus sang with a large volume and fine Grays, it will be renh'm bered, used Case Hall at their semi·cen­ quality of tone and with excellent degrees of shading; that the tennial jag, and are now negotiating for the use of the new Hoi­ soloists were satisfactory, and the orchestra an important factor in lenden dining-room. It seems as though Cleveland's society the success of the evening. . leaders might put their heads together and evolve some plan for A new and promising musical society has just been formed. It the establishment of an assembly room, somewhat lifter the Buffalo is caller! The Criterion Male Chorus, and it is composed of some and St. Louis slyle. And it woulr! be a paying investu,ent, as the hest material in the city. Mr. E. 1. Leighton is the director, well as a place ior a closed cere/t. ancl the rehearsals will he held at the Aaron Street Choral Hall, Miss Stone, of Huntington street, is at Nashville, Tenn. where the first concert will be given January 9th. Mr. J. C. Wilmot left early in the week for Los Angeles. Mr. Spengler's pianq pupils gave another one of their pleasing Mrs. Clarence Burke gave a drive whist yesterday afternoon. rehearsels at Kirsch, King & Coo's piano rnoms on Friday after­ Mrs. Herne, of Wheeling, is visitiug Mrs. Oglebay, at the Still- noon. man. Mr. O. F. Comstock has been engaged as organist and director Mrs. Tyler gave a dinner and theatre party, Tuesday, for twelve of the surplicec1 choir at Grace Church. friends. The principal churches are all husily engaged in rehearsing Mr. and Mrs. J. \Y. Penlield are contemplating a trip 10 Los their Christmas mnsic, and something unusually hne can he looked Angeles. for on that day. Miss Alice M. Comstock has gone to Thomasville, Ga., 10 spend the Winter. il E member~hi.p ro.1l of the Stone Church contains t~e I~ames Mrs. H. K. Devereux gave a ladies' luncheon Wednesday aft~r­ T of more mIllIonaIres than any other place of worshIp 111 the noon. Fifteen ladies were present. city. Among the wealthiest in that congregation are Mrs. Samuel Mr. and Mrs. T. L. Johnson gave a drive whist and dinner on Mather, Mrs. Amasa Stone, Mrs. John Hay, Mrs. Harkness. Mrs. Thursday, for Mrs. Addie Desha Kirtland. John F. Clark, George H. Ely, J. L. Woods, G. F. Herrick, and ·Mrs. Lester Cobb, of 1275 Euclid Avenue, assisted by Mrs. several others. While the Stone Church represents the most wealth, Arthur Brooks, gave a reception on Thursday. the only congregation in town that has almost no poor members at On Wednesday next, Colonel and i'll's. George A. Garretson will all is Dr. C. S. Pomeroy's Second Presbyterian Church on Prospect give a dancing party to the First Cleveland Troop. street. For many years past this c'lngregation had but one poor . Col. and Mrs. George A. Garretson gave a wedding anniversary family in its parish, which is still receiving aid . dmner, on Tuesday, to the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mr. Milo B. Stevens and Miss Martha Grace Jordan were married T'S a small m~n t~at "s.q~eals" on a bet, but there are many on Wednesday evening, at No. 578 Cedar avenue. The Rev. P. B. I such, and Fire CommiSSIOner R. D. Jones is one of them. On Cabell performed the ceremony. the night of the election a certain Rtpu1.>lican of long head, who It is reported that Mrs. James A. Garfield will temporarily for­ had het on Foraker, was looking for an opportunity to hedge, sake h.er Summer home at Mentor, for a Winter in Washington. and Mr. Jones appeared exceedingly anxious to bet his money on She wIil be accompanied by her daughter and son-ir,-law, Mr. and Foraker. He was accommodated, and the money was placed in Mrs. J. Stanley Brown. the hands of a third party. A little later, the returns from Hamil• .A se~ies of three balls to be known as Rose balls, are to be given ton county began to come in and Mr. Jones went to the stake­ thiS Wmter, at the residence of Mesdames John Tod, Jac0b B. Per. hold~r, insisting upon the return of his wager. The stake-holder kins and J. V. Painter. The dates are not announced as. yet, but demurred, bnl the fire commissioner insisted, and so the stake was the first will take place this month, at the residence of Mrs. John surrendered. Tod. Great head! TO\VN TOPICS. 9

SALLIE 'l)'BRASSE. chah, these literary contests afford intoxicating delight to the young people. HEY say the reason that photographers I heard of a young ladies' luncheon, where, after a substantial reo take so much more successful pictures past, a large plate of green paper lettuce leaves was passed around. now than formerly, is because the idea A quotation, printed on a slip of white paper, was attached to the· that photos must be taken in a glaring stem of each leaf, and the girls were expected to guess the names of light is exploded. They take pictures the authors. When one guessed correctly, she was entitled to the now-a-days by subdued lights-a dark leaf, which was worn as a corsage bouquet. The fair Bostoness day is as gooo as a hrigh t one-and a who obtained the most decorations of this sort was the heroine of great study is made of the matter of the occasion. shading. In the old days the brilliant Dear me, I wonder how brilliant we Cleveland girls would be at surroundings brought out every wrinkle,Jreckle and other blemish, such games. I believe I'd rather play at drive whist, even if I had so that the portrait was either painfully true to nature, or it had to to cut for a prize-and not get it. be retouched until little likeness was left to lhe original. ."'* They say that Adelairle Detchon-a ybung woman whom Illany I believe some girls wouldn't be thankful if a favorite relative Clevelanders remember as a pretty and ambitious young elocutionist died and left them a small fortune. I was calling on a friend the -taught this trick to the London photographers. A ew York other day-a real sweet girl-and as we chatted she became con· writer says, "Trust lhat girl for knowing how to look pretty, in a fidential. So 1 ventured to ask if she had seen anything lately of picture, or out of it." And we who remember Addie will agree Ed Sharpway, a young man who used to go there a great deal. with that opinion. " Well, yes, Sallie," she replied, a grieved but determined ex· Although a very fresh little school-girl at lhat time, I shall never pression on her pretty face, "I do see Ed occasionally-but don't forget the :lwe with which 1 used to behold her elaborate coiffure, you think that-well, to put it plainly, that most of the young men her artistically penciled eye·brows, and lovely pink ann white com­ are very disappointing? It seems to me that they never come up plexion. Of course we were shocked at the idea of a scholll-girl to my expectations. Now there's Mr. Sharpway. Why, Sallie, we " making up" in that fashion, but Addie had a real professional air, have made ever so much of him lately! We treated him beautifully even in those days. And although we criticised, we liked her ano all Summer, had him to Sunday dinners, got invitations for him, and admired her, too, and predicted a future for the aspiring girl. She entertained him down in the country where we were staying-and not only lived up to our expectations, but has had several ., futures" we really supposed he would show some appreciation of it this Win­ already-that is, she has won fame as an actress, an elocutionist, a leI'. I counted on taking in everything good at the Opera House, whistler and an operatic singer. with nice little suppers after the play, and I knew he could get in· ·:i:·O:;:{i: vitations to all the Ratling Gun parties. And how do you suppose The friends of Miss Luella Varney agree that the talented young he reciprocated? 1 expect you will laugh, but I didn't, 1 assure SCUlptress has improved greatly during her residence abroad. The you. 1 never was more cut up in all my life. Well, he put on his bright, good.natured, independent girl has come back to us a cul­ most magnanimous air, and condescended to invite me to do the en­ tured and dignified young lady. She isn't a bit spoiled, however, tire Star Course with him!" although success has come to her so early in life. Miss Varney is ","'* pt/ite and pretty as ever, pleasant.voiced and vivacious, though not I can't refrain from making public a few of my most cherished a great talker, and there is the indefinite something about her ap­ wishes-things that 1 don't w"nt to wait until Christmas for, and if pearance and the impression she creates, that marks the artist. I could only get them, would be willing to share with the rest of And that reminds me of a little dialogue 1 overheard at the lec­ the human family. Here are some of the things ture, or talk, on art, given by Miss Varney. WANTED. "1 think she's awful nice," whispered a gushing young girl be­ A model dressmaker, who fits and finishes in tailor fashion, hind me. "But would you ever think she was an artist?" charges reasonable prices, and never talks scandal. "Oh, she isn't," replied her companion with much superiority, A scorcher with which to answer the woman who alway;; asks the " She isn't an artist at all-she is just a sCUlptUYfSS." prices of }'our new things. * A charitable society of women where none but charitable remarks The latest kitchen utensil to be**transplanted to the parlor is the are made. clothes-horse. It sounds offish, but a really handsome screen may A coterie of ladies where neither dentistry, servants or rheumatism be made from a three-compartment rack. The frame must be gilded, are discussed. stained or plush· covered, and the panels are t:lstily covered with A few lively young men at five o'clock teas and afternoon card­ China silk or some plain material with painted design, while a dado parties. of plush finishes the lower part. It is a dainty piece of work to A female friend who would never say sarcastic things, never be a make a neat screen, but 1 have heard of a lovely bOUdoir screen be­ wet blanket, and never get jealous. ing utilized from a clothes-horse. And 1 just saw the sweetest little To know why so many women-nice women, too-seem fascinated photograph easel made out of clothes-pins (gilded). It wQuld go by spectaCUlar plays this season. nicely with the screen-all that would be needed to fit out the laun­ To be informed as to why sealskin and diamonds are such promi· dry-boudoir would be a gilded clothes-basket cradle swung on clothes­ nent features among the audiences at a cheap series of entertain­ poles, a plush draped wash· board panel, and a few miniature wash­ ments like the Star Course. tub placques. Let us soap it won't be attempted. 'Twould make Some good amateur theatricals from our local talent this season. every day in the week seem like Monday. Also, a high license placed on the manufacture of chewing gum. * I'm afraid you'll think me an incorrigible fault·finder, TOPICS, Literary teas are the rage in •Boston.• At least they are called when you review the above list of wants, so 1 won't put down an so, but are, in reality, what we should pronounce progressive olher one. 1 expect you've already weighed me in the balance and spelling-bees, progressive quotation matches, or progressive rhyming found me-wanting. socials. Everything progressive "takes," and in the land of cui- SALLIE D'BRASS&. / hI! / ."/

..,.•..... "

.,.,.. :.;;: .

W-HO W1LI ET ITP I~ TOvVN TOPICS.

limes:th~ough:thlImployment of familiar Hungarian tunes i and Ihis spirit of appropriation, which the composer has used with much propriety, has led the devisers of the American version to still fur· ther borrowing. Ambroise Thomas would be shocked to hear his "Hear am I in Beauty's Bower," from" Mignon," used for the ballet dance in the second act. The redeeming feat ure of "Nadjy" is pictorial. The costuming and scenery are unusually good. ~rr'".iIf " Jim, the Penman" is a sugar-coated pill. Hidden in a cap' iule of social sweetness, is a thrilling and drastic melodrama. RANCIS WILSON and his clever It has been seen here so often that it now requires little consid· associates established in .. The F eration. The present company is not so good as those which have Oolah" a standard for light opera ill previously been seen in it, though Mr. Joseph Whiting stiU this COlli; try. They recognized in retains his old part. In many respects it is the best thing he their performance the truth, which has ever done. He looks the character, and physical fitness goes a their predeces~ors had ignored, that gn~at ways toward success. His Rols/on has more than this to light upela was a distinct and legiti· commend it, though. It has caught the genuine English flavor, mate form I)f amusement; and they and it has a burliness of intellect, as wel1 as of figure, to it. The succeeded, to a very large extent, in present Nilla is Miss Ellie Wilton, who is chiefly known here in a discharging the artistic obligations to lighter grade of work. She played it with a great deal of skill, which sudl <111 .l'-..:t:f'l,IIIL'e hounrl them. The acting was full of life and she redeemed her inability to entirely reach the full intensity anu color and animal spirils, yet it was tempered with a spirit of of the more dramatic scenes by a quiet naturalness in the other true artistic discretion and restraint. portions that was very effective. The virtue of such work was appreciated and publicly honored a Mr. Charles Kent's Baron Hart/tid was the best yet seen here, few weeks ago; but it has been brought, by contrast, still more but Mr. Edward Travies was a bad Captain Rtdwood. He caught prominently in~u the foreground by the performances of the Aron· the externals, but none of the spirit, of the part. son Opera Troupe at the Lyceum Theatre this week, If I remember correctly, this (;O~pany was originally known as **;'f One of the best things in the variety show now current at the the Helen Lamont Company, then it became the Stetson Opera Star Theatre, is the musical act of the Four Emperors of MUSIC Company, and now it shelters itselt under'the wing of Mr. Rudolph They are familiar performers in Cleveland, but they play so much Aronson, of the New York Casino. What improvement this trans· new music that their contribution never entirely loses its -novelty. migration has wrought, It is, of course, impossible to state i hut it The Nelson family are also a strong card. They are daring and may be set down as undeniable that in its present condition, it, does graceful abrobats, and are so certain in their ~ndeavors that aIJ no credit to l\'!r. Aronson. On the contrary, it seriously handicaps apprehensions of their safety seem groundless. Mlle. Fogardus in­ his succeeding ventures. It is very easy for a manager to cry troduces some wel1 trained dogs and' pigeons, and John A. Cole­ " wolf" once too orten to the public i and Mr. Aronson will find, man is a very pleasing dancer. The knock-about act of Campbell if he fritters away a valuable trademark in this way, that his gen· and Nibbe is too rough. uine Casino companies will be received with a distrust for which he will have no one but himself to blame. * "True Irish Hearts" are beating'* * again at the H. R. Jacobs "Nadjy" was the only opera I heard i and the performance was Theatre this week and, though I left my stethoscope at home when a very unsatisfactory one, It lacked in both elements of success, I tested them, the pulsations seem~d as norm~1 as on their last visit. the vocal and the dramatic. I did not hear a single good voice, *~;:* anu the flln was all the way through. Miss Lamont, who is f f f "Nym Crinkle" (A. C. Wheeler) has discontinued writing for lhe star of the company, has a light voice which she uses fairly Tilt Mirror, and is now !urnishing an admirable weekly essay for well, but it shows signs of wear. She is a wretched actress. Tilt Tlua/rt Magazi,u, of New York. Mr. Louis DeLange merits commendation more for his energy SAGE. than hIS talent. I have seldom seen a harder working comedian, but the results are not proportionate to the effort. The best thing HE manager of the Star Theatre is small in stature, full 01 he does is his imitation of a woman "doing up" her hair, which, T "get-up" when he is busy, and easy-going when business is by the way, is not original with him. He borrows it from Jimmy over. His name is Frank M. Drew, and a study of his nose wilJ Powers of the Casino Company, who got it, in his turn, from a show that he just barely t"scaped having a genuine, full fledged London music hall singer whom he saw on his vacation trip last Drew nose. He is related in some manner to aIJ the Drews on the Summer. Mr. R. E. Graham is growing tiresome. He entirely stage, all of whom have characteristic Drew noses. His hair is misses allthe original opportunities of his part in "Nadjy," and dark brown, so is hIS mustache, and though not much more than only makes it a revised version of that nonsensical character he thirty, he can tell more interesting stories of early circus days in played in "The Little Tycoon." He still imitates Emmett, who America than many showmen twice his age. never could sing, in his singing,Wilh an increased catarrhal quality to it that makes it still more depressing. HILE the. daily papers are speculating a~out the date ot' The best performer in the company is Miss £mma Hanley, and W the openmg of the new Arcade, and whIle it has geneI" it is, perhaps, the table·land that surrounds her which makes her al1y been determined in the newspapers that it will not he opened little peaks of talent jut up so prominently. She is the leavening until Spring, TOWN TOPICS is happy to inform its readers that spirit in the opera. strenuous efforts are now being made to have the walk from The music of "Nadjy" has no permanent value. It is pleasant Superior street to Euclid avellue open to the public by the holi­ at the time, but there are no well defined melodies to be carried days. There are not many leases made for the occupancy.of the away, in the memory. It has a characteristic local colorin~ at building, and those that are made are dated (rom April I, 1890. TOWN TOPICS. r .., ~)

vincible, and one gentleman insisted that he could find a match for me. I told him to bring him along, and he brought W. H. Doun. Doan was on the point of matching pennies for the ~igars, whtn he suddenly remembered that it wouldn't do for him to en­ == ~---=------t'Ourage gam bling in his own tabernacle, and so he backed out."

TANTALUS REDIV/f/ US.

"Oh, why this ghastly mien t" I cried­ .. This pallid (ace and tearful eye t These feeble footsteps, trembling hands"­ Alas, she simply moaned, "I'm by'" "Oh, come, cheer up, 'twill never do To thus give way to doleful dumps. Do tell us what the trouble is '" The wretched creature gasped" What's trumps?" I thought her daft until I heard A reason plain for all her sighs­ Progressive euchre-four long hours­ For ladles only-won no prize!

"THERE are some mighty funny people in this country," re- marked Postmaster Armstong the other day," and some of them would lax the patience of all the saints combined. See this envelope? Can you make anything out of it? No? I thought so. It looks like a barb wire fence with straight marks running from top to bottom, and I had some of my men wild be­ fore they could decipher the words 'Postmaster Armstrong.' A day or so ago I received a letter from a little town near here from a jealous wife who wrote me confidentially saying that she suspected her husband of carrying .on a clandestine correspondence. She in­ closed a sample of his chiography and actually wanted me to ex· amine) every letter that goes through the postoffice and find one containing the mark of her town and her husband's handwriting, Just think of it, all she wanted me to do was to handle and ex­ STRIK ING hgure is always a temptation for a photo~rapher, amine 250,000 leltp.rs each day !~' A and Mr. A. C. Hard made an elegant victim, the other day, as he entered the presence of a Kodak hend. At any rate, here is EWSPAPER readers will remember the recent sensational his portrait. For a man of thirty-five, his has been quite a varied N scene III a Chicago court·room, when the trial of the Cronin ex perience. Mr. I-[r>rcl is the son of Judge J. K. Hard, and was case was interrupted by " That's a lie !" coming from the lips of a born in Tiffin, Seneca county. At an early age he managed his reporter on the Chicago Daily Nt1tJs. The newspaper-man who father's sugar plantation in Louisiana, and on his return began to caused the commotion was Eugene Wood, one of the queerest and take an active part politics. In the old Sixth ward, that cast 3,500 most unique characters in the world and who, before the Clevtland Republican votes, he was chosen committeeman without opposi­ Herald's sale to the Pla;1z Dealer, was a member of its staff. He tion. For two years he was on the executive committee of the was particularly well)nformed all matters of religion, and at the State Republican committee, and he has served as ch:\Irman of time of the Hinckel excitement in Grace Church he drove Rector both the city and county committees. He was a member of the Hinckel to distraction by continually referring to him as Father national conventirn of 1884, and was the youngest delegate to that Hinckel, and interviewing him on the restoration of the confess­ assembly. Mr. Hard is among the leading business men of the ional into the Episcopal Church. city. Formerly of Arnold & Hard, he' is now a member of the firm of McIntosh, Huntington & Co. He is tall, rather gooa look­ OOD had occasion to call upon the Mother SUlJerior of 51. ing, and a gemai, clever gen tleman. W Ursuline Convent one day, and introduced himself to that good lady as Mr. Du Bois. This was subsequently discovered by {\NKER P. M. SPENCER is one of the popular men of the a reporter on the same paper, but how many more fables and B city. He is of medium height, blue-eyed and" bearded like romances he told the Superior will probably never be known. a bard." While his hair is dark, his beard is auburn, mixed with Certain it is, that in the goodness of her heart she presented him gray. Every body in town knows" Phin" Spencer who, while ap­ with a crucifix, which he kept on his desk in the Herald office, parently easy going, is quite a student of human nature, and as shrewd a financier as there is in the city. HILE Chief Dickinson of the fire department is one of the W kindliest men in the city hall, and extremely well liked by OLONEL 0. J. HODGE tells this story of Mr. W. H. Doan: newspaper-men, the interviewer can approach him only in a round­ C "There was a church lair of some sort in the old Tabernacle about way. To the question: "Any news to-day, chief?" he invari· on Ontario street. They had cigars on sale and some friends chal· ably has some reply like the following: "I am not working for lenged me to ' match' (or the cigars, which were sold at ten any newspaper to-day i it doesn't pay, arid so I've resigned." At cents each. I beat five men in succession, and then I returned times he is liable to say, "News? I haven't read the newspapers them to be sold again. Everybody seemed to think that I was in- yet," or "I haven't seen any news, have you?" 14 TOWN TOPICS.

A DISTI:--JCTlON.

LuCY: (;:\CLE FREn, IS :'-lEW YORK 1:-1 A IIIGII LATITCDE? UNCLE FRED: :'-la, I SHOULD SA\' ;.lOT; 1\LTIlOU<;f{ IT IS A 1I1<~f{ 01.11 PLACE 1\:\1) TIII':I(J': IS LOTS OF LATITUDE TIl ERE.

CASIMIR DELAROCHES DILEMMA. bllcker blood back through at least two generations. She was a clever and good-hearted girl though, and did not devote a great deal of time to the tracing ASI:\IIR DELAROClIE had been bred in process. She was a fair representative of the best class of American girls-those C the best school of French politeness. He that believe tlut a home where love reigns is preferable to riches, fashion, or was of the type of Illan that almost any woman dissipation. But lIelena likewise had a serious fault. She was the daughter of would love at sight, but had one cardinal fanlt­ wealthy parents who sought a brilliant match for her. he was not rich. Casimir Delaroche and Helena Van Arsdale met at Bar Harbor. A not long lIelena Van :\rsdale could trace he~ Knicker acquaintance inspired mutual love. Here in the course of a stroll through the hills each learned the other's secret. The dear girl frankly admitted her love. ,. But, Casimir," she said, after all the usual "ows and arknowledg-ments and promises had been exchanged, "how about papa?" "What about papa, ma cherie ?'. Casimir asked. " You know you have told me you were not rich, and both papa and mamma have set their hearts on my marrying a rich man." .. True, dear, [ am not rich, but I have my little income, a brave heart, and in this magnificent country of yours a man ran not fail to become rich if he has onl." courage. Fear not." The farewells were said at Lenox, but with the understanding that as soon as possible Casimir should be given an opportunity to ask the Van Arsdales, father and mother, to take him on in the capacity of son-in-law. The Van Arsdales lived in a style becoming their fortune and position, so when Casimir one day received a dainty, crested note stating that Mrs. Van Arsdale requested the pleasure of his company at dinner on a eertain evening of the ne:-;,t· week, he knew that it would be a ceremonious entertainment and that Helena expected him to find opportunity, under cover of. the occasion, to ask the momentous question. He entered the drawing-room aud was prt·sented tu tht· assl'mhled guests, some TOWN TOPICS.

, twenty in number. His was not the privi­ lege of taking Helena to the table; but that young woman, with the craft of her sex, had arranged that he should sit next to her. Un­ fortunately, however, he was not far frolll )1rs Van Arsdale's end of the table, and any covert looks at Helena had to be very cuvert indeed.

Roaches are rarely spoken of and rarely . il II di. 01'" seen in' the precincts of polite society, but '1",1' ,1,/, ili,1 . '1' i .. " \1 11'11'1' l"" ,'.:., ", , .I I , ~ I I, II 'I -~- even the greatest of precaution will not (1\: 1\lh' I ,,: ,: f'I'". -' \ ,1\ l \ \. \, '\ 'J,\' ""l' .. _'_ :-.: ~ .--.-' I I I' ... J keep them out of the best of houses. I jl" When the soup was served Casimir was engaged in talking with Hel~na, and was j! ,I unly recalled to the fact tbat he was at din­ I" ner by noticing that the soup-plates before "Il some uf the guests were being removed. He turned hastily and met Mrs. Van Ars­ dale's severe eyes fixed upon him as though in reproof at his neglect of her hospitality. He took his spoon, and was abollt to place it in the soup when, hurror of horrors, what should he see but the carcass of a roach re­ posing in the limpid t1uid. The question is, what did he do? Did he abandun the soup, and thereby in­ cur Mrs. Van Arsdale's ill-will? Or did he juggle the roach intu his waist­ cuat pocket, to be preserved as a souvenir of the occasion? Or did he swallow the roach? -ilfdcaIji:,

CASDflR DELAROCHE'S D(LEM~IA.-" TIll' Question is, W'hat Did He Do?"

THE DIFFERENCE. R. JIMCRAK: I'm going to the lodge to-night, clear; we've got to initiate M four candidates. MRS. )IMCRAK : Well, I want you to come­ MR. )IMCRAK: Oh, yes; I'll come straight home. MRS. JIMCRAK : But that isn't what I want. MR, JIMCRAK (impatiently): Well, what on earth do you want, then? MRS. JIMCRAK : I want you to come home straight.

R5. )11'150 : Is it next Thursday, Charles, that we were to ha\'e our tin wedding? M MR, JIMSON; Yes, my dear. MRS. )IMSON: Then we will have to p0!itpone it. MR. JIMSON: Why, what for? " His garb was such as minstrels wear, MRS. JIMSON: Br.idget informed me this morning that she was to receive nex~ Dark was his hue, and dark his hair," Thursday from half-past five till eight. (Lord of/I.e hlu), Ca,,/o III, ';Jlru ilil. (Unavoidably jJoJtjJoned.) 16 TO\iVN TOPICS. SAYS THE COLONEL TO THE COLONEL. comedian of the 1110St original methods. There will be a large corps de ballet and the usual number of pretty chorus gnls. OLITICIANS as a rule are t:areful of tl.leir papers,. al1~ ge~er' The Boston Dady Globe; of June 12th, ,peaks as follows of next P ally manage-in the language of PresIdent Hamson s prime week's nttraction at the H. R. Jacohs: II Lights and Shadows" pre,enls a remarkahle series of striking stage situations. Among minister-to II hurn Ihat lettl'r," Rut sometimes it isn't hurnt, them a scene where a rising tide enters the room where hero ancl and a man \\ hI) had o.:casicn this week til visit the er,-twhile ancl heroi~e whilom headquarters of the county Republican central cnmmittee are bound and nearly engulfs them is, remarkably effect ive. fduncl the follll\\ illJ.: illlerestinl; correspondence. which is here I,ub­ Excellenl, too, is the steel room scene, where the villain is en­ I ',ed f"r the gui;lance and information of all whom it nln)' trapped. It is rertainly a melodrama of much interest. The c ,"cern : audience la,t night at the play was large and uncommonly enthu­ CLEVIILA:"O, U, Nov. '9, '889. siastic over the performance. "Lights and Shndows" holds liS M\' DEAN CUI.Ol\EI.: - Your kiud lellcr tendering congratulatious bdore me. interest tf) the curlni,,', fnll, and the Inst act, though short, is fnll Now, as you outrank lIIe in seniority, I ml"l look to lOU for advice as'wcll as romm:lIld. Frum what I have read in the Kentucky papers, I judge a colonel 01 surprises, must be rcady:u fight upon the slightc-t provocaiion. In olher words, should After a long ,clies of vnudeville enlerlainments i\lnnager Il,ew, anyone call him a ,on of a gun, or word, to that effcct, he must tire at the fcl­ of the Stnr Thealre, will return next week to the legitimate drama, low at once, and cxpect to be fircd at in return, or be ripped up \\ ith a bowie­ producing" The Scout's Dclughter," a play new to Cleveland, hut knife. [think possilJly I might attend to the first part of this, but to avoid the which comes slrongly endorsed. Its title is the index of ils char­ counter charge IS what might be troublesome. Please tellmc what 10 do in such an eme;gcncy. [care nothing for myself, but how I should hatc to makc acter. II is a drrlllla of Wester" lile, and is founded on renl events my wife a widnw: Dn you think thcre will be war? Can colonels resign at in the caleer of i\-lis~ Pauline I'nrker, the star of the performance_ will' Suhje.-t Itl command, Very truly yours, The hurse that she uses is the same one which she rode fl"llm her o. J. l-IuOG". ranch in J),lkota III Ihe nearest militnry post, Fort ~inabnngh, nnd CLRVEI.-'l'O, P.. 01'. 30, ,889, r"!AR COLOl\1!I. HOOr.E:-[ am gratified to be in a position to comply with informed the offiCl'rs in chnrge of the uprising of the Flench vour request for a lillie a Ivice. and shall be glad to furni. h you with such in­ Canadian Indians, retnrning in time with the suJ(liers to save the formation as is due (rom one comrade to another. I( any "ue call- you a sun of lives and property of many of the poor settlers. Miss Parker is a gun or words to that effect, don't notice him. It is agaiust the dignity of staff officers to embroil themselves in any quarrel, except there be two pair said to have many qunlitications for success on the stage, and her against you, and even then you should reserve your fire until you have a full manager has provided her with a good compnr,y. hand. There is no imminent danger of war. at least not during the ne,t forty The Dime Museum keeps step with the other places of nlllnse· days or thereabouts, when your term of office will have e,pired-unless, fn­ ment in the fnithfnlness wi'.h which it luoks after the interest of deed, some difficulty should arise concerning the boundary lines of Alaska. I ca,l hold out to you, however, some hope by saying that in the history of lhe its patrons. Everyt hing that will interest, entertain, or instruct world, from Adam down. there is no case on record showing that an officer on them, i-; sooner llr laler, secured, and the consequence is that the a governor's staff was killed or Injured while iu the lIne of duty. \"011 ask 11l1~ lic, nLting on Ihe doclrtne that one good turn deservl's anolher, whether colonels can resign at will. Permit me to sllggest that colouels on lhe is never bnckward in its attendance there. A special effort is be­ governor's staff should never think of re,igning. except in case 01 invasion of the State by some unprincipled enemy, when the membcrs of the staff should ing made by the neW mnnagement to make the Museum n special assemble in haste, and resign like men. Any fnrther advice or informatiou con­ ,resort for the ladies and children, and the character of the enter­ cerning t;ff officers that you may require, will be most cheerfully (urn shed tninments there is always one that they on enjoy and approve hI' your friend and comrade LOIJls S,IIITlI:oIIGIlT. "1",11 E champion church snorer was dis~i)l'erecl in the First Pres. COMING ATTRACTIONS. byterian church, Inst SUllday morning. People have been known to sleep during. ermollS, but this man lJeat the record. As \T last we. hall have a chance to see the Hermann Vnudeville usual, after services, the worshipers were dismissed with an operatic .r\. Company, which ha. cau,ed such a great sensation in the selection (,n the organ, ns loud as the key thumper on the old organ Ea,t. It hns played to immense houses in New York, and the could thulllp with all the strength at his command. The aisles hrains of Bostun and the blnod of Philadelphia have alike fallen were crowded with peuple rushing out into the open air, and all victims to its excellence. The company is ullquestionahly the best the sents save one were deserted. The occupant of this pew was the On the road, and the ,pecinlties that are introduced are not only champion church snorer in que,tion. He occupied the most con­ novel and entertaining. but they are refined. At the henri of the spicuous spot in the center of the church, his neck was of an un­ performers !-lands the great '!'rewey, who is said to he a veritable usual length, and his head lVas craned away off on one side, giving l;euius. Then come, Gus Williams with a new monulogue, him the appearance of the leaniug tower of Pisa. Everybody Dainty Kate Seymour give, a danre that is everywhere spuken of looked at him, and some fell' talked to him, but the sleeper wouldn't as the poetry of motioll anrl Mi,s Eunice Vallce, a London singerof wake. The church was emptied of every man, woman and child, th.~ highest repule, is also with the troupe. Variety is now the the sexton looked a ' him pityingly nnd permitted him to'finish his popular fad, rlllfl Cleveland, Ihat always takes up the \'agaries of ~Iumbers. At last accoullt he was still there, and it is probable he fashion, will prohnhly not be backward in (ollowing the lead of will be on hand for to-morrow's servic·es. the Eastern social world. The Chicago Opera H'luse has become the recognized home of -- extravaganza in thIS country, It began with a sum)Jtuous bur­ lesque, and each year has seen a vast improvement in its prede­ cessor. "Bluebeard, Jr.," which comes to the Lyceum next week, T J-fE al/eution 0./ tne public is respect­ is sait! to be the most brilliant of the series. If it is as good as ful/j' iWi'i/ed 10 tIle elegant. displa)' lVas II The Glass. tipper" last. year, the popular taste will be 0/ diamonds aud the large assortmellt oj amply atisfied. Like thai, it will abound ill heautiful cenery, in (noice HoNda)! gifls SnOll'tl al dazzling co tume , in strange mechanical effects, in graceful dane. ing, in ingeniously devised marche" in laughter and in song. It BALl.'SjEUELRY STORE, witl be presented by the original cast, which includes among other e01'tler, Superior and Seneca. performers of repute, that truly amusing actor Mr. Edward Foy, a TOWN TOPICS. E. R. Hull &, Co. Electrical. Patentll. United Bectrle Co" OSBORNE & CO., Room 8, 80 Euolid A \'e. Patent Lawyers Electric Belts for Weak -AND- and Nervous People, Solicitors of Palmts, Kidney and Liver Com- plaints, Constipation 29 Euclid Avenue, Etc. ' CLEVELAND, O.

Dl·anghtslUllll. Engl·aver.

N. S. AMSTUTZ, J. H. Fleharty & Co. Arlist-Draug'ltIsman, ~4 IIlack.wne Rld'g,C;cvclilll,I, 0,. Telepliolle Ha, Patent Office Draw­ ings, Drawings for Photo and Wood En­ graving. Perspectives Seals.rRllbher and !lre"1 * from Working Plans, Siamps, Stencils, etc. * 9'1 SCUt.'CA gl. * * etc. Photugn\l·her. De8ks. Burgess &, Fish, Desks, Chairs and Office Furniture, Photographer, 213 BANK STREET. 211 SUPERIOR ST. Tel. 2329. WE know that it is llot a/ways II,e easiet thill/{ in the 'World to determine just u,llat to give your friends for a holiday present. 1f '(' know, too, that a hardzerart' slure is about the last plact' you 'Would look to find it. If )'Olt will call u/Jon us we will show )'Olt man)' Ihings not before thought of in Ihis cOllnee/ion which 1.vil! make bolh useful and n01.Ie! presents. Hie also ha've a large line of cutlery in plush and oak cases, suilable for Hleddillg gifls. ** THE llf/. BINGHAM CO., 97 and 99 Superior SI. ** (Perry-PaY1te Building). E. DE::X:E1E., 143 Euclid A,'enue. Photographic Portaits. LASH-LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHS, House Inte· F riors and Photo-Crayons A SPECIAL TV. Mr. Decker has been awarded the highest premium wheD"ver exhibiting in competion, in America and abroad. Hull &, Co. DR. J. W. JUNGMANN, E. R. Dentist. Room39, Nottingham Block, Next to Arcade ~ast SD EUCLID AVENflE. Catarrh. Throat and lung diseases cured hy I he direct inhalation of Medicated Balsam Vapor. CHEW GUM. Call or send stamp (or book on otlice and home treat.ment. DRS.~GATCHELL, 174 Euclid ave. 18 ,tbWN TOPICS,

THE BAkNSTORMERS. HE play was bad, t~e players.worse, T And tired of the hisses and Jec;.rs. The kerosene lamj1S and the gas, went out, And the seats rows up'in tiers.

SMART WOMAN. /\ 1>\' (C1tlerz'/~:; b/(Itlter's s//(}~) :\1r. .Cleaver, I .would li~e L to ha\'e you sa\'e me t\\'o nice rabbIts to-day. If you \\'111. j)leasc. :'IIH. CLEAVER: Yes'm, J \rill. Shall I send them up? LA I)\,: No; you see m)' husbancl has gone gunning to-d:lY, and he said he was goin~ to hring home some game this time or perish in the attempt; so I think he \I' ilI probably call in here \I'hen he is coming home and you can sell him the two that I have ordered,

AN UNFORTUNATE MAN. "I HEAR," said Smith, "that Robinson has met with a great many misfortunes lately." ":'Ilisfortunes," echoed Brown. "\rell I should say he had. He's the most unfortunate man I ever came across. Why," he continued, "do YOIl know that Illan has got a lar~e callous on his left leg from kicking himself so much."

THE LANDLADY'S THkUST. ~"l.. . '- - ::::-;Z. '"" ~ ...... -:- j (I) n '-;J) ce. ':;-. '_ 0· -" THEY say," remarked :'III'. I log-g-, the iml)eCunious boarder, ~, J. ,~ :-" r'I~..I -:' ~':,*" • "'-'~'""?Gd""""= ~,~ r'.~).; ~~.;; ~,:1,..J ,,\\~~ \ "that one buttIe of that Dr. Gubb's Invigorator will cure "/ ,. 't'~: \~~'I\'\\.~\\.: a case of consumption." I .' " Well," said Mrs, Hashleigh, the landlady, as she helped him VALe ELESS PRE.\CH '~G, to his fourth plate. " that may be. ordinarily, but I think it would MASTER: JAMES, 1\1 SURPRls,·:n TO SEE YOU IN TillS l'U:-;- k h D1T10N; YOU NEVER St.W lilt INTO;\ICATE\). , ta'e more t an one bottle to cure a case like yours," BUTLER: No SUR (hil), AI.WAYS TO-1l1C-UElJ \I'IIEN-II\(,- And in the silence that followed the roar of the street could COAnDIAN HRI:"l;S YOU 1I0ME.· he distinctly heard.

THE EVOLUTION OF A TOUGH. TOWN TOPICS. Harrison· Many Lighting COMPANY, Tr;l1n~ on all roads rUIl on Standard lime:, wnl' hi. --CONTRACTORS FOR-- 33 m mutes slower than Ball'. citv time. *Daily; all other trains dailv except Sundav.

The Nickel Plate. LIGHTING Arrive. Depart. Fostoria Accommodation: 10:.0 a. m 5: II p. m. Ashtabula Local.. t:eKl p. m. 7:30 a. m. THE STREETS OF C[TlES AND TOWNS. Ruffalo Express, 5: 16 p. m. 10:.5 a. m. Chicago Express 9:20 p. m. 6:30 a. m. MANUFACTURERS OF Euclid Accommodation leaves 6:20 a. m. .~:oS p. m. River Bank" .. 7.0 a. m. 1.0 p. m. Vapor Gas Burners, Fixtures, Torches, Gaso­ City Ticket Offices: 22. Bank St" 598 Pearl St.. and Depots. line and Oil Stoves, and all kinds of LEWIS WILLIAMS, B, F. HORNER Gen'l Supt. Gen'l Pass. Ag't. Street Lanterns for Gas, Gas- Cleveland, O. oline and Kerosene. Valley Railway. ....WRITE FOR CIRCULARS AND PRICES." Depart. Arrive. Valley Junction Mail ('7:.0 a. m. co 6:20 p. m. 13 to 23 Davies St., CLEVELAND, 0, Marietta Express I! II:IS a. m. 2:20 p. m. Canal Dove'r Express ".:15 p. m. *10:15 a. m. Ciev'd & Canton Ex pres.' 7'00 p. m. 8.loa. m. Depot-South Water Sireet.

Mount Vernon & Pan Handle Route, c. A. & C. Ry. Co. Arrive. Depart. Akron, Col. & Cin...Flyer...... s:.op. m. 8:10a. m. Akron, C. & C. Nighl ~.xpr~ss.. l:oo a. m. 8.00 1'. m. Akron. Col. & Z'ville EX 12:S0 p. m. 1:05 p. m. Akron & Orrville Accom 9:3S a. m. 3:25 p. m. The 8 p. m. train runs daily. Elegant Pullman palace sleeping cars attached, All other traID, dai'y SHOULD OBTAIN SUCH AN EDUCATiON AS CAN BE HAD AT exce"t Sunday. THE I::U( LID AVENUE I:USI ~ESS COLLEGE, 90 Euclid Ave" Cleveland, Ohio, or at CATON'S NATION AL BUSINESS COLLEGE, cor. Pearl and Church Sts., ~uffalo, N. Y. Oleveland & PittsbuTg'h Railroad. INTERCOMMUNICATION OF BUSINESS BY STUDENTS. I Arrive. Depart. The most complete system of actu:t1 business ever used hy business Colleges. Scholarships good in I New York Express 12 so p. m. 7.5 a. m. either schuol. Now is the be,t time to enta, Three huudred and filly new students registered last month. New York Express ,6 l,~ p m. 105 p. m. Every competent student is holdlllg a good position. An employment agency ,in connection, Endorsed by Alliance Accommod·n 9 3S a. m. 3 2S p. m. the busllless men. I

To try it is Ie ~ ltvW it to be The Star nat Leads Them All.

-IlUV-

K,'app's Falml AdJllstable Dress Fti;ures,

And ask for a DOMESTIC FASHION SHEET. The ~LlJlo.ma.I.1 ~arpe. li.eaninJ Works, '.5 Seneca ~t., cor. Long St. Tel. 2131. BAILEY & WHITMORE, 54 Public SlluRre. STOCKS AND BONDS.

I OFFER FOR SALE: 34 Shares First National Bank. 100 " Republic Iron Co. 300 'I Brush Electric Co. REMOVAL. 50 "Brush L'ht &PowerCo And many other first class investment MISS BROOKS, Modislr, has removed to IS Granger St., near Prospect, greatly stocks. enlargillg her establishment.- Specialties this season are Parly Dresses, Wedding Garments, and Ladies' Tltiloring. H. C. DEMING, Will be plea,ed 10 show finished work Telephone 1697. 220 BANK 20 TOWN 'TOPICS. Caugbt on the Wing. Greenwood face, always wearing a ring bon­ coop, she took my tough grandfather. and net to match. kept me for 1892. Her husband is a dentist. Some fine day wllt-nevt"r yuu find time About a week or so ago, she presided at a and she wants to make trade for him when - hanging- heavy 011 your hand-, stalion y.our­ meeting of the Children's Hospital Associa· the foreigners come over to the exposition.II self on a popular street corner, say, (or in­ tion, and the subject of giving a dinner for ~lance, ne.lf the leller·hox in Ironl of the old the benefit of the hospital ca I e up for con· He Guessed Wrong, Court Hou.;e, and y"u will overhear some sideration. All th~ ladies at once volun­ amu,ing- scraps of cuuversation. Here are a English iouris! (to his guide showing him teered to contribu te something, and when it few samples: about the streets of Cleveland)-" Those came to Mrs. Cadwell's turn, she agreed to "Nil, indet"d, I'll never speak to him again, men, my dear fellah, are presumably prepar­ supply the eggs. ing for a buffalo hunt, don't you know?" the mf?n --" .. Why, Mrs.,Cadwell," remarked one of "The lovt"lie,t pattern, anel just think of .. Buffalo hunt? Naw I" the ladies, "aren't you undertaking too it, il CIlSts --" " Well, me deah boy, why then do they much? don't you know that eggs are selling . "Hadll" I hellter put you down for a carry those lassoos about their arms, and how at thirty cents a dozen?" couple f.f shares? It's a g.lOd illvestment does it happen that their twowsers are tucked Without a moment's hesitation, Mrs. Cad­ and I'll ~uar,lntee --" into their boots ?" well replied: "I know it, but we have lots •. Don't keep me wailing, I'lel'e. I don't "Them's no hunters." of hens around our house, and they are well wanl to IllISS the fio'sl act alld --" " No ?" trained." , ," Buy a p,lper, Illister? Got Sl uck on a "No, they are linemen ostensibly looking after dead wires and pUlling up new ones.II ,lot and pop will wallup-me if I don't --" Won't Stand it Any Longer. "; ',i YO;I can hel Ytlur sweet Ille, Cully, lhat it wouldn't lake.l IlllnUle hefure [ make The following is a literal copy of an edi­ Wall paper, Spring style now arriving at kind lin' woodoll! of the dan~ed old --" torial in the ill()flominu Range, of November 170 Puillic Square. " Never saw t he heal," ' rile worst business 21 : PARK WALL PA"ER CO. w~ e~er had: Call't sell --" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ , ',r!'eanu's! Ollly five C<'III- a 11I~." SAY. YOU SNEAK. THIEF, The Park Wall Paper Co., 170 Public "Can't'sly'. lour [think ['II ,ake the 10:30 You con~cienciless ~coundrel Jiving west of Tlte Square, furnish estimates on all kinds of train in Ihe morlling-" S" thai --" R(H/{{e office who have been stealing our wood and interior decoration. co..1for the pa5t two year~. if you don't quit your See their new effects in plastic work. " NtI, siree! I ne"er yel ,a· Ihe time that midnight robberies you will find that it costs more to I could fool Illy oLd woman --" u~e our wood and coal lhan, It does to go and buy Headquarters for Lincrusta·Walton. All the ",,!;;o!n~ :,10111{ Billy, dl.n't VOli know any your own fuel like a decent citizen. We will fill your novelties. Work strictly first class. No hltt~.en than Iltllitfl.P at every --" legs full of buckshot one of these nights. and than fancy prices. have you arre~led for stealing in Ihe morning. We "~Mud? I shfiliid say so, never' saw any- G. H. LYTTLE, Manager. I , , have suppli~d you with wood and coal 10llg enough. ,thin~. like, itr.--rr-c-" We know you and we won't stand this any longer. '. Ii'Heen W.lil.nl{ (or that cnnr\lun,rleel street ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Try the Xavier Jouvin gl{)ve, it has the 'car ni rh onto twenry--nrinU'tes.--Guess I'll colors, the style, durability. Adapte'd to 6 long, medium and short fingers. Shaw, 93 & {Modern Harvard. 95 Euclid ave. .. I ti~ar your son is at Harvard college." "Ye~ the dear boy, and he is doing so See the Llack hosiery that is guaranteed to k· nicely." give satisfaction. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid t, ~ ave. ' ....~~' "01 course he is taking Greek mythology 1.,) ,.£ ... ~ and aH that'sort of thing?" "Then I gut'SS I'll take a nickel's wor.tb." "I.re:j.lIy don't know." Corsets, new stock, just what you want. Ten days latt-r. (\ "i: ",Doing qr.ything in theology?" Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid ave. CulliH!-"TJJ,gugbt Y"l.u---t~)I~_.,!1le that lJiHayen'! the slightest idea j but he is the bora~·wa.; gfrCii tlr c(.)e!'.roacb~s. t,'t1'ied it dandy foot-ball player in the crowd, and as Miss L. B. Black, of the School of Art of ,on 'eoll ..r h~y. are gelling lat, and increas- for hoxing, he can knock 'em all 0111." Western Reserve University, will be pleased i11'~r ~n;t ml~li.I"yi~lg.. " .~ .. By . tll.~ way, who is the president of to receive her former pupils and all interested DI'1I,~r~rIS'-" \'vell, that's all ;ight..You H·arvard 'now?" in art study or decorative work at her aske.(ltll;~ i( horax was ,golid lolr ~(lc.kro~c11es .. Do you know it never occurred to me to studio, room 65, 4th floor, City Hall, after and I rolu' you it was7· p -What Illore··c\o"¥ou ask.i-.lmt .co~e up the house some day, and Dec. I. ..- ") :;,hint ?" , ., I 'n tell ¥ou all about the professor of calis­ thenics." Geese feathers cheap, 129 Woodland ave.

Dvfrs. Cadw;ell's Hens. Fine initial and monogram embroidery on )\1r~. D.llill'i C.ldwell is aillo ,g th~ quick­ eAfter 'Tbanksgiving. handkerchiefs, mufflers, etc, to order on th~ wi·I'ted. wOrnen of city, and sO'lle of her Firstlu'!iey-" How did you escape ?" short notice, at Oettinger's, 94 Euclid Ave. iml'r1llllptu re:'llarks'are tO,l g 1f)(lto he lost Second !urkty;..... When the morning paper Oreers for the Holidays should be lelt early jn th~ slnall cih:l~ helore Iwh ch they are with Foraker's plloclamation was thrown on to assur!' prompt attention. .l!p·,kell. Mr.... Cadwdl is much sought after the porch, I stole it and concealed it behind ---:...:======Ihy charitaille alltl other \lrll;\nizations, and the barn d,9or. What excuse have you for BEAL ESTATE. .clln,id~rod:le o( her ti,ne is 'spellt in doing ving li.,'1.:1,J" ,.; NO. COLAHAN- .gollc!.) She is, ope(of- th~'lhe: residirg Firs! Turkey-" I belong to the boarding J. Dealer ill railroad, river and manuf.lclur- ,Ii; 1_ '. i. ../ - mg property. ,oJl'~ 'ers !() he fuund in any asseml1ly, and has·' 'lit/use around tHe co~ner, and when my mis· 1<.00111 301, The Beckman, 204 Superior st., w.ltat her-envious lady admil:~rs'call il. Kate Cleveland, O. tress came out to make her choice in the Telephone 1844. Take elevator. . TOWN TOPICS. BREWSTER & CO., Are You Going to Correspond 7 (OF BROOME STREET) Use Ollly the" Wllitillg Standard Papers." Vou will jind tIle/II to jill all the 1equirements of polite socidy. Every dealer ill lhe Um'ttt! Carriages and Road Wagons States call supply you with the jine corn­ spondmce papers made exclusi1Jely by the OF THE HIGHEST GRADE. Whitillg Papn' Co., of Holyoke, Jllass. Use no others. Our productions have maintained their reputation as the STANDARD for style New York Offices, 150 & 152 lluane St. and quality for a period covering nearly HALF A CENTURY, owing largely to our perfect organization, careful personal attention to smallest details; and the fact that we maAufacture on the premises all parts entering into the construction of a vehicle. ROWN: Well, old Grimes went off suddenly last night. ONLY PLACE 0' BUSINESS, B JONES: Ah! worth $3,000,000, wasn't BROADWAY, 47th to 48th STREET, N. Y. he? BROWN: Nearer six, I should say. Correspondence sc,licited. Estimates and drawings furnished for every variety JONES: Indeed! How many. widows of pleasure carriage for Town and Country use. did he leave?

FOR FIFTY YEARS! Youclln Itvellt home and make more money at work for us than at anything else In the wol"ld. GOLD Elthcr sex; all ages. c:o.tly outfit )'RBE. Terms Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. THE /:-SSENCE OF it LIFE." ),BBE. Address TIlUB & Co., AuguSto., Maine. Fnr fifty years has been used by mothers for their Children while Teething. It Soothes the Child, Soft· IRST CHICAGOAN: Who's this yer ens the Gums, Allays all Pain, Cures Wind Colic. and is the best Remedy for Diarrhcea. 25c. Ii Hottle. F Christopher Columbus the papers are talkin' about? Fountain and 8tylo Pens SECOND CHICAGOAN: Blamed if I kno\\'. ] can't recall any club he's played A Good, Rei able Stylographtc Pen for 81.00. FountaIn Pen, $2.0J. Star ~'ouutatll Pen••loW and upwards. in for three seasons. Best Writing Pen Eve:r Offered to the Public AT A 1'R1CIl WITIllIi THE REACH OF ALL. Uncqaaled for Business or Genel'nl Writinll'. HAT the devil !lave you done, Lyons? THE INDEPENDENT :PEN is a 14 Kt. GOLJ) W ] wrote that ~ the bride had on a PEN fitted with a Felllltain or Itescr­ voil' Holder, Bud combinc8 an Ink­ pair of brooches given her by her father. 8tllnd and Gold Pen In Oue. send tor Descriptive Circular. A Trtal Order Sol1cltetl. Well? .AGENTS W AN'fED. YOH have printed it breeches. J. V. ULRICH & CO.. lOR Lihert.y Street, New York. ---=._----~------;------BABY SLAVES 'l'llIRD EDITION NOJV READr. OF TIlE LAST AMERICAN. By J. A. MITCHELL, NEW YORK. (EDITOR OF' .. I.IFR,'·) BY NELLIE SLY. "A fragment from the Journal of Khan-Ii, Prince of Dimph. )"oo-Chur and Admiral in the Persian Nav)'." / An amusing and satirical account of the adventures of a party A Startling Expose of the Modern Traffic in of Persian explorers among the ruins of America, in the year Human Flesh. 2951 A.D. With numerous clever illustrations by the author. PRICE, 10 CEN'l'S. Well printed on good paper, and boul~d in dark-blue cloth, stamped in inks and gold, with design representing the ruins of For Sale by all Newsdealers, or sent upon receipt of price, b), New York Cit)' as seen from its harbor b), moonl ighl. 131110, Nellie Bly, The World, New York City. $1.00. .. Olle 0/ the bI·~I;·htest thillgs of the sort thaI hilS appeared for mall)' NOW IN PRESS. II dll}'. . TIle illustratio/ls are as witty as till' texl."-BoSTON II: Eva Hamilton's Story. RF.ACON. III. Nellie B1y as a Cyclist. PUBLISHED BY

The Nellie Bly Ten Cent Series are supplied to the trade by F. A.' Stokes & Bro., the American News Company, or by Nellie Bly, The World, New York Cit)'. 182 Fifth Avenue, New York. TOWN TOPICS.

~-=_., - Blare they gorS.olio. f~e~'Efrove~l'b ran':'Th-e pan 55.YS ~o rhe pnr,Ke~ep oft orvoull smutch me: If your grocer sends you anything in place of SAPOLIO, send it back and insist upon having just what you ordered. SAPOLIO always gives satisfaction. On floors, tables and painted work it acts like a charm. For scouring pots, pans and metals it has no equal. Everything shines after it, and even the children delight in using it in their attempts to help around the house. ENOCH MORGAN'S SONS CO., NEW YORK.

f:re:~e~~n~~nut~_I-__S_O_R_I_B_N...E_R_'_S__M_A_C_A_Z_I_N_E__F_O_R__1_8_9_0 --1

ber and full pros­ 7'h.e completion Of the 3 /Io/i(/o,y In 18go SCRIBNER'S MAGAZINE will enter upon its fourth year and seventh volume. pectus. nllll/be,.. wi/h 7t1 ilIlIs/mliulI' alia It is believed that the fu I announcement, a summary of which follows, gives prom­ a lLew ol'llaluelltal covel'. ise of a year of great popular and artistic attractiveness. Amon~ the im,ortant 1------1HOLIDAY NUMBER. features are: CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN CARICATURE. By ANn INCREAS"~DSPACE. Ilhas heen decided to AN ADDED DEPARTMENT open with the January Ilumbt'r a department for the brief J. A. Mitchell. With 17 iIlustrations by Keppler, Nast, consideration of subjects of both passing- and permanenl inlerest, and for this purpose a few Frost, Attwood, Woolf, Glb~on, McVlckar, • Chip," and pages will be added to each number. This feature In the Magazine will g-ive, il is believed. ,\ mey~~~ . HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES.-Studies among new element of brightness and vanety. the Tenements. By J. A. Riis. With many striking illus· AND TI~AYEL will be trealed from several points of trations from flash·light photographs. AFRICAN EXPLORATION,view l\IR. H KItH I!:ItT 'VAltH, who spent fi~e years BRETON PICTURES. Tho Pardon of Ste. Anne on the Congo, will write of that now famous re/{ion. Olher articles in the same tield will appear, ~.~~uray, and othe: festiv.als. By Or. W, P. Northrup. and several by well·known artist travelers. All richly il!ustraled. With many superb Illustrations by famous artists. JUR. R. F. ZOG UAU ~r, the arUst and writer, has received A SU B-TROPIC STUDY. A bright and well illustrated LIFE ON AWAR SHIP • permission to accompany the new naval Sq.uadron of Evolulion e on English, French and German Caricature respectively' two especially attractive articles called .• In the Footprints of Charles Lamb;" papers on Neapolitan Art, on French Illustration, on Print Collecting a remarkable article on ;\1arlame de Stael by a well·known diplomatist, with some recently·discov­ ered materia!; MR. SIDN"~Y COLVIN'S article on G~org-e Meredilh, ~IU.. HU~IPHRY 'WAHD'S on some great Picture Sales, wilh illustrations by HARRY FURNISS; on Water Storag-e in the West, TERMS_ 83.00 a Year. and on Mining, the latter with novel photographs; Australian papers; on the Floral Decoration of Ponds _ 25c. I' Number. and Lakes, with some very beautiful effects; and a group upon Physical conditions in the United Stales, SPECI A LOFFER A ('01uplete by PROF. N. S. SHALER, with illustrations. ."\ • Met of the will. continue to contribute to the Magazine ~i,g:I~~n:!:b~~~~:tr:,~tf:~I'i~io:J~n·'.l.l>O MR • ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON dunng ,8go. The ~RIIIC, bound In cloth (6 \·ols.), . 12.00 The "nmber" tor 18~9 and a subs(·rlp. CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS, 743 Broadway, New York. T~;j~;e:~~:h~ac~n~~nb;:8~.ou~~ln :~ooo "s llUleekl~ "R~lew of Socte~, Irt anb 1lterature. ----- ..:-.-- --...... ::...... _- ======VOL, V., NO.2. CLEVELAND. 0., DECEMBER 14, I8Sy. PRICE FIVE CENTS.

SHE GAVE IT AWAY.

II ALlCE, I "'0:-1''1' ALLOW THAT YOUNG STUIlHINS HERE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT! HERE'S AN EXTRA GAS RILl. FOR $20.00, AN~, I WON'T STAND IT Ai\Y LONGER!"

• WHY. ,PAPA DEAR, YOU MUSTN'T BLAME US FOR THAT. 'WE ALWAYS TURN THE GAS OUT WHEN YOU GO TO BED! ,. TOWN TOPICS. Ce(icGUNTtlE~ ~ONS . FUS ~eal s~l\jac~ets~W:apsalldeloaks, shoulder' capes. pelerlnes,muffs,etc. i~ choice desigQs,at moderate prieej. 181- 'FIFTH AVENU,~' HeY:

NEW YORK SECURITY AND TRUST CO., 4G WALL STREET. CAPITAl" $1,000,000, SURPLUS, $500,000. CHARLES S. FAIRCHILD, President. WM. L. STRO~G, 2d Vice-Pruident. WI!. II. r\PPLETU~. 1st Vice-President. JOHN L. LAMSON, Secretary. • This Company is authorized to act as Executor, Trustee, Administrator, Guardian, Agent and Receiver. Is a legal depository for Court and Trust Funds, Takes the entire charge of real and personal estates, collectll1g the rents and profits, and attending to all such details as an Individual in like capacIty could do. Recclves deposits subject to sight drafts, allowing interest on daily balances, and issues ccrtiliC:llcs of depOSit bearing interest.' ' ------,------Letters We buy and sell bills of Exchange on and make cable transfers of money to Europe, Australia, and the of West lndiesj also make CollectIOns and issue Commercial and Tmveling °It Credits, available 111 all parts of the Cred • world. WOULD YOU LIKE Brown Brothers & Co., Rankers, 59 Wall St.

Fine Complexion, to become the publisher, proprietor and editor " of a first-class, handsomely illustrated weekly Smooth, S0 ftin.Sk Mention this ilfagazine and send -l stamps paper? I f you think you know a field \\There for sam pIe lof P,\CKER'S TAR So.\ 1'. ' Use it every night wilh warm watcr, and rough wash-cloth, and you wil1 be gratified with such a publication, would thrive, and are will- soft, smooth skinand improved complexion. Do not heSitate to use Packer's Tar Soap on ) ollr face, It is absolutely pure,' t t b' d t . th k bland, and grateful to the senses, It is Ing 0 pu raIns an en erpnse In e wor ., adapted and extensively used for washing the delicate skin of infants, and in the address treatment of skin and scalp diseases. It prevents Chapping, Chafing. and Rcdness; cures Itching... Dandruff, Acne, etc" and is an invaluable antiseptic purifier for offen­ sive persptrations, discharges, etc, 25 cents. THE PICTORIAL WEEKLIES COo, Druggists; or' ' THE'PAn'KER MFG. CO.,t0~:~l~~~k:t.. 28 West Twenty-Third Street, Ne~ Yprk City" TOWN TOPICS. I

eA Gratifying Result. The Buffalo Times has the following news item in a recent issue: aOO-80a Supan.or St., "A large number of students and friends Have just received a large sto,ck of assembled last evening, in the beautiful lect­ ure hall of Caton's National business col." lege, corner of Pearl and Church streets. MACKINTOS.H GARMENTS For Gentlemen and Ladies-the finest line ever shown in Cleveland. Also a They were treated to a most eloquent and complete line of instructive lectnre by Professor M. J. Caton, president and proprietor of the college. The '.:A/inteJ: Good.S., professor selected for his subject the small Rubber Boots and Shoes, Hat Covers, Buggy Aprons, Door Mats,etc., and a choice selection of Toys. word 'Success,' yet a word having abund­ ance of meaning. Drawing from his many Ohio Rubber Company. years of experience and scholarly attain­ ments, he gave to his pupils :11 detail almost everything necessary for a young man or THE PRODUCE EXCHANGE BANKING CO., lady to know in order to succeed in business Is now ready to receive deposits subject to check. Also, life. savings accounts. "About two years ago. Prof. M. ,J. Caton' opened the Eucliri Avenue business college at Cleveland,' with only three pupils. At PAID UP CAPITAL $100,000. the end of the first year he had enrolled over I,~OO students, and to-day, ·that is the largest and most prosperous business college OFFICERS: in the United States. It has made a record R. R. HERRICK, PRESIDEN'r. WM. H. GABRIEL, VICE PRESIDENT. unparalleled in the annals of American his­ CHAS. O. EVARTS, SECRETARY AND TREASURER. tory. " Only a few months ago, he came to Buf­ falo, and opened a college in the Stafford THE PRODUCE EXCHANGE BANKING CO., Block, corner of Pearl and Church stree ts. Cor. Broadvvav and Ohio 8t This institution is growing rapidly, and is fast duplicating the Euclid Avenue college THE NATHAN IMPORTING CO. recommend of Cleveland. The people at Buffalo are fast 'c Use learning the merits of this admirable institu­ For Domestl. their famous foreign-bottled table clarets, at tion, and all who have investigated are thor­ very reasonable prices. A pure article is guaranteed. A telephone c oughly convinced that it is the leading busi­ mail order will meet prompt attention and instant delivery. ness college of this city." NATHAN INPORTING CO.• I72 Bank 8tre~t. Holiday Excursion. Holiday excursion tickets, at low, round CONGER & COLLINGS MANTEL co. trip rates, will be sold from all ticket offices Artistic Mantels, Tiles and Grates, Fine Gas Fixtures and Electroliers, of the Pennsylvania Lines West of Pitts­ Fire-Place furniture, in Brass and Iron, Lamps in Brass, Silver and Iron, and shades suitable. burgh on December 24th, 25th, 31st, 1889, Specialties in our line continually being added. and January 1st, 1890, good going on date ~17-eas EUOLID AVENUE. of sale and returning until January 3d, 1890. c. H. COLLINGS. c. H. PRnCHAl<.D

Catarrh. MOLIDAY GOODS. • They•are worthy ofyour attention as regards novelties and •prices. • ThToat and lung diseases cured hy the FANCY cOODS-An extensive lille that will interest you. clirec.t inhalation 01 Medicated Balsam Vapor. MILLINERY COODS-Everything marked down ~TURDA Call or send stamp fen book on office and "-OPEN Y EVENINGS."U home treat.ment. DRS. GATCHELL, SHA'W"S 8S and 86 Euclid Avan\,1e. 174 Euclid ave. HE BEST education is always the cheapest. An education is something to be used a liletime, and shouldT be of first quality. THE BEST is non~ too ¥,ood We cater for the masses. Fine foot-wear for anybody. You should not allow a few dollarso dJlrer­ at popular prices. N. O. Stone & Co., 48 ence In cost to decide the question, or attend an inferior school tor any reason There is not the least doubt about Euclid avenue. which is the LARGEST and BEST in Ohio. The Spencerian Business College, of Cleveland, was established in 1848. By regular purchase and tranJer it embraces six business schools, including the college or Bryant, , Nickel Plate Holiday excursion rates all Spencer, Lusk l!t Stratton (the FIR~T of the celebrated Bryant &: Stratton COIIe.ie5, established in 18S2.) ·It pa'y_s' to j1.ttend the best. Day and eveninJr .es~ioQs. 422 Superior St. SPENCER. FELTON &: along the line. LOOMIS, Proprietors. 2 TOW TOPICS.

~ttlil ~tfdJfe. ~tutfdJt lludJ : ~4n~lun9, 42 q}ubUt e"u4tt. IDlein grofJc~ £ager beutfd)er ~iid)er unb .Beitfd}riften ~aIte beften~ em; ~fo~{elt: ,,~a3ar, 1/ "IDlobellwdt," "Ueber 2anb llnb IDleer," "martell: (all be; " ,. SJa~eilll," "mom t}el9 31111I 9Jleer" luerben auf ~efterrllltg ~romVj ilt~ .pau~ gdicfert. ~~otograp{)ic,~{{blll11e in rcicf)rr mll~tua{)r. H. R. JACOBS' THEATRE. Week commencing Monday December 16, with Matinees Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. THE YOUNG AMERICAN ACTOR, :N' . s. "'\JV 0 0 d. In His New Play, Out in the Streets.

Presented by a cast of superior exceltence, under .th~ so.le manag~ment 01 H. R. J~cobs. New.nd Elaborate Scenery. Novel Mechanical Effects. A reahstlc picture of hfe In the Metropohs. Next week-The Blue and the Gray.

RURY'S DIME MUSEUM. PERA HOUSE. . D Open from I to 5 and 7 to 10 r. M. OWeek of December 16. Matinee, Saturday. The pleasing resort for ladies and children. Pre­ FULL line of English cords, senting this coming week, Monday, Dec. 16. The Famous A corduroys and livery goods. ;J Maste~I~~~!~DE~arter, 206 B0STON IANS Superior 51. And greatest shght of hand performer on earth. He is perfectly wonderful. 11JrSpecial Agmts /or Messrs. Ba~t,..ltlll, Harvey DON'T F'AIL TO SEE HIM. IN ENGLISH OPERA. &0 Cb., Lo/zdoll. Two extra good stage shows Tom Karl. H. C Barnabee, W. H. l\'lacDonald, Mr. and Mrs. Jules Eo Heywood's Proprietors and Managers. Wi~ter Term in Society Dancing, Repertory: CHRISTMAS CARDS BEGINNERS RECEIVED AT Monday and Thursday. - 'nON QUIXOTE (new. -AND- Tuesday and Friday, --. SUZETTE. HEARD'S HALL, Wednesday, - PYGMALION AVD GALATEA. 76 EUCLID AVE. Saturday Matinee, THE POACHERS. Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays Saturday Evening, grand revival of MOLIDAY GOODS. at 81'. M. THE BOHEMIAN GIRL. Advanced Class in all of the latest Largest Variety, Latest Designs, and at ances and" The German," Fridays. Fourth Select N ext week-The Great Metropolis. Social and German Dec. 20th; Fischer's orchestra. ______Lo-w-est Prices. Juvenile and Ladies' class, Saturdays at 2 o'clock. I Pupils received at any time, term commences from date of entry. lIQrPrivate lessons by appointment. Private classes and dance arranged for entertainments at Lyceum Theatre I residences or academy as deSired. Call or write for circular. Residence 806 Woodland ave. Week of Dec. 16. Matinees Wednesday and Walter Smith, Saturday. 329 Superior St.. CLEVELAND, o. WE know tllat it is not always the easiet thin!!.' in the world Lewis Morrison to determine just what to give your -IN- STOCKS AND BONDS. friends for a lLOlida)1 present. We I OFFER FOR SALE: know, too. that a Ilardware store is FAUST. N ext week-Hoyt's "Hole in the Ground." and 100 Shares Republic Iron Mining Co. about the last place you would look Salvini. 100 " Lake Superior Iron Mn'g Co. to find it. If you zuill call upon us 50 " Champion Iron Mining Co. we will show you many t/tings not 300 II Brush Electric Co. before tlLOught of in this connection 50 ,. Brush Light & Power Co. Week commencing Dec. 16. Monday, Tuesday And many other valuable investment stocks. which will make both useful and Wednesday and Wednesday Matinee. ' I WISH TO PURCHASE: novel presents. We also have a The Diagenese Tramp. 50 Shares State National Bank. large line of cutlery in plush and 75 II Euclid Ave. National Bank. oak cases, suitable for Wedding gifts. Thursday, Frida~, Saturday. Saturday Mati­ nee and Suaday night. 50 " East End Savings Bank Co. THE W. BINGHAM CO., 100" East Cleveland st. R. R. Co. KENTUCK BILL, And most of·the best stocks on the market. 97 and 99 Superior St. In which he will introduce his Tnined dogs and H. C. DEMING, Stocks and Bonds. (Perry-Payne Building). wolves. Telephone 1897. 220 BANK ST. TOWN TOPICS. 3

~lISS HOPPER: CO~1E, PROFESSOR, LET ME SHOW YOU TilE ., OWL AND THE PUSSy-CAT,"

PROFESSOR : (j()~[E ~llT ALAGR1IJY, MEES HOPPER; I A~[ GLAT TO SEE DOT YOU WAS INUEREST I\' SmlEUINGS ELSE IlA\'

SHU~[PING APOUT, DE OW-EL I A~[ FA~llLIAR ~llT ALRETTY, BUT DE BUSSY-GAT ISS OF TilE genus felis, A SPECIES TO ME UNKNO\\"l".

(As the Professor 'C(lill presently leaI'll, the OW/I/lld flte l'ltsJy-Cat is r. III/III,' ,;'ivm fo fhl' Berlill, 1/ f(lpttlar bitt 'ttlldignified dance.)

FOREHANDED. REPARTEE-IN THE KITCHEN.

ILLAGE GROCER (lu derk),' "Are you gomg to town "I should like to have you stay awhile longer with me," said the V this morning, John? " stove to the flat-iron, "as [ am begin­ CLERK: .. Yes, sir." ningto foster a warmaffection for you... GROCER: "Well, I want you to get a couple o' dozen rab­ .. Thank you," re- bits. Some of the members of the' Married Men's Club' are going gunning to-day, over in Hackett's Woods." sponded the flat-iron, as Bridget picked it up; "[ should be very happy to if I could, but I have a pressing engagement elsewhere just now." And in thesilence that ' followed, you could,hear

the clin~ers in the stove .'.\ \ \ grate.. PRES$I~G \H~S SUIT. TOWN TOPICS. 4 Mr. A. C. Williams is in this theatre, he is requested to st.e p t~ th,~ box office, as a communication of great importance awaIts him. Everybody in the audience looked to see the fri~htened I~a:l rush to the door but there was no rush, and even those who Intended to go out a'nd see a man between the acts di~n:t stir, lest they . ht be taken for the hero of the hour. A CUriOUS old fellow went mig ., "d . out to consult a city directory to discover A. C. Wlllums I enll.ty. A WuHy Review of Socidy, Art and Literature. but no such name appeared in the book. B~in6 also :f a.rov,mg Lithograph Building, cor. St. Clair & Wood streets, Telephone. 85 2 • Entered at the Post-Office at Cleveland, 0., as Second Class matta. disposition, he wandereci over to the L~ceum ~heat~e Just In time ROSENBERG & ROSE:Pllhlishers and Proprietors. to sec the cnrtain drop and see a long,wlgged IndiVidual step be­ tween it anrl the footlights. "What? another speech r' murmured the old man, and to his amazement, the man with the bla~k wig L"""'RANClS WILSON, of" Otllah" said that if Mr. A. C. Williams, of Chagrin Falls, was 111 the 1 ' fame, is authority for the stale' theatre, he was wanted a' the box office. It is saiL! that the same ment that chestnuts, like motions to annoul1';ement was made from every stage in the city. Where adjourn, are always in season. Per­ and who is Williams? haps the cry for municipal reform is to many a threadbare suhject, but it NE eve:Jing this week, as a motor car reache,d the corner of is nevertheless the suhject of the O Euclid and Willson aver,ues, the trucks suddenly left the hour, and one deserving the closest rails. and the scene that followed was something unlike anything­ attention and consideration of every ever seen on a street car before. By the peculiar motion of the voter. It is not sought to legi-Iate vehicle at the time it performed the jumping feat, all the passen­ _~:/" out of offi ce any office gers on one side of the car fell on their knee:, and men and women ,-:,;;;.-~;:?:-. holder or set of office hold· ~~...,'~-,p -~ -~0 were in the attitude of supplication before thp. more fortunate pas­ - -,'::..:_;'~.~ ers, as has been stated by sengers on the other side of the car who were able to retain their irresponsi ble persons. It -====- .. ::.: equilibrium. is not charged thaI there is intentional wrong doing by L "OR his services as receiver of the electric lines in Superior any city department. But 1-' street, in dispute uetween the South Side and East Cleveland it is an indisputalile fact railways, 1\£1'. C. B. Bernard received $500. 1\1r. William Bing­ that the necessary and ham, whose horse was recently killed hy an electric wire in Super­ legitimate expenses of the municipality exceed its resources j that ior street, received, by way of damages, $500. All of which goes the multiplicity of departments-each working independently of to show tha~ a dead horse is worth as much as a live receiver. every other-leads to waste and bad government; that, for lack of control, individual members of city boards are euabled tf) and do UDGE BELDEN, of \)enver, Col., who is in the city visiting enrich themselves at the public expense; and that, no one person with his brother·in·law, ~rr. E. C. l'armelee, is full of ane::­ being directly responsible for the doings of anyone department, ,1 dotes of the past. The judge left Warren for the far West in 1856 the form of the city government is a hopeless tangle, a mass of -about the same time Judge Rlnney left that place for Cleveland. incongruous and c.onAicting elements, a patchwork without The lalter harl alrea::ly heen admitted to the bar, after having read seq uence. law in Jt)shua R. Giddings' unlee. After l\1r. B:lelen had gradu­ ",HE remedy is in the entire and complete change of the scheme ated they became intimatc friends. "I knew B. F. \Vade intim­ 1 of local government. It must be built up anew from its ately," said the judge the other day, while talking of the past. "He very foundatIOns. To attain its oLjee! it must provide for a s)'s­ was, actually, the m"st prol:1ne man I ever kn~w in my life, and tem of direct responsiLility and for the payment of salaries for ser. that, you know, is saying a gooel deal, if you consider that I am an vices rendered the city. Aud these constituted, all the wants of Omaha and a IJl;nVCr pioneer. H<:fore Wade's election to the Sen­ city can be met and provided for by its income. To continue the ate, he was universally known as ','rank \Vade, and while his name present plan must mean more bonds, m'lre taxes, mal e ~te:ds, really WJ.s Il:njal1lin F. Walle, everybody knew him as Frank, anrl more giviug away of franchises, more boodlers in public positIons. the people of the UniteJ States really gave him the name of Ben." The choice should not be difficult. UDCE Ill':!.!)!::1\" was the lirst nnyor of On1l11:1, and he tells HE latest establishment in the field of finance and commerce , 1 !',)Il1C very interesting qories concerning- thp. set lement of that T is the Produce Exchange Banking Company, doing- business place. Fur probably three years the few people who had built in the new Andrews Block, corner of Broadway and Ohio streel. huts in the phce ownell mere·ly s1']uatters' titles, as they had built

The Produce Exchange bank will receive deposits subject t.-, check, upon ljovernmellt land. "\\'hen the time came fill' the s1']ualters [Q while receiving savings accounts as well. Among the stockholders own gllvernment title~," said the jutlg-e, "we h,ld quite a time are many of the leading business men of Cleveland, anL! its solidity straighLelling out atfair~, but it was dtlne peact'fully and amicably. is further attested Ly the choice of its officers. Ir. R. R. [[urick, I, "s the mayoH and the trllstee of the town, was r1ele~ated by the twice mayor of Cleveland, is the president, while Mr. Charles O. iuhabitant-; to buy the city, alld it was all cut aucl dried that at the Evarts, recently of the Woodland avenue ba1lk, is secretary and sale I was to otTer St.25 an acre for the town. That was th'e aI'­ treasurer. rangemeul, and guns loaded to the muzzle were on hand ready to iuterfere ill else any outsider or anyone else undertook to bid above HO is A. C. Williams, why was he wanted so badly at home, that figure. So you see I bought the whole town of Omaha, and W and where wa he last Monday night? At H. R. JaC0bs' when the deell was nude out, I paid, in consideration of the sale a theatre, a gentleman with an exceedingly wealthy, Irish brogue golL! dollar to a man namcd i\IcCormick. 'fhi., of cou;se, \~as :;tepped before the curtain between the acts and remarked; "If merely to carry out the spir,it of the hl\v, and McCormick's wife 6 TOWN TOPICS. "There's the calico social," she said to herself, and forthwith she wrote: "The ladies of the ~l. E. Church will hold a calico so­ cial and oyster party in the basement of the church next Fri­ day evening. A barrel of fresh oysters have been ordered, and a good time is guaranteed to all. The proceeds of the social will be devoted to the purchase of an casy chair for Pastor Witherbee's study." "~ow," said the fair writer, as she warmed to her work, "there's the auction daoun I3ricktop way," and dipping her pen in the ink, she proceeded: "The auction at 0 e a con Smi th's last Sat u rda)' was well attended by the leading families of Pogram Centre, while several people were noticed who had come all the way from Beanville looking for a chance to pick up bargains. Sibs Dusenbury was the auctioneer, and well did he perform his dut)'. Pelcg Tew bid the horsehair sofa (on which he courted the first Mrs. Tew, ~ who was the Deacon's daughter by his second marriage,) lip to $5.5°, but it was knocked down to Ebeu Larrabee at ~16. 75. Miss Tillie Larrabee is more popular

<~,I" - t11 ..111 ever this ,vintcr, and ,vas the belle of the last husking bee. Elijah Simkins's eldest boy Reu­ ben bought fort)' )'ards of rag

FRO:\1 OUR SPECIAL PIlOTOGR.\PHER. To THE [UITUR: I IH\'E SECURED SOME EXCELLENT PICTURES OF THE GERMA" AR~IY 1:>: ACTI01\. b; YOUR "EXT l'LEASE SE:"O ME FIFTY MARKS TO PAY FOR O!\'E CAMI'·STOUI. 1\:\n O:\E t·~I· IlRELLA LOST IN THE eReS11. G. \]UICKI'I.ATI':.

MISS MEHITA BEL'S kOMANCJ::.

1)1 the chcc.iul "settin' roum" of an old weather-stained farm-hollse in Pogralll Centre sat Miss Mehitabel Perkins, biting the cnd of her pen·holders and looking down L1is­ consolatel)' at the unlettered page on the table before her. "What can I write about this week?" she murmured to herself. Miss Perkins wa:; EAU DE COLOGNE. the Pogram Centre correspondent of the Beallvillt! Smlilld, and she was at her wits' end To (:ET TIlE FrI.L BEAUTY OF THIS DRAWING, THE TITLE SHOULD BE l'RO­ fQr material for her weeki)" letter. i\OI,;:\CEIJ "0, DUCK Al..ol"~," TOWN TOPICS. 7

'4 . TK I! Q,ALLO"P. ® Ir-l TJ(! ;ALlOlt, ALLOW' you~ X01""! 'l"o G.O fM£L"f. $IM1I.'f )<.U'PI.N~)(IS)lE}.J) 'T~O"'. • .s~lt14T.

ALWAyS fO"lDL.E 10v"P­ ~o1\.H ;aEFO~[ MOUNT1NI2I 'T E6TA1H.IS)(ES (?,OO.D "R-fl.Ano}'l$ lHTw H)o{ 'MAN AN:D ;S·E}.5T,

/ /// /.0 ~/ ..~/; .

.l) '0,1--"( ~"9- ,sIT STEADY AND o o/('t .:BE. 'D .. NIr'Go:,j 5 ~ t' 'Jtfso I~ETE~nIOlJ.!> ll'l fOlJ'll-.,)!E.G7IIV· ~I.\J-\ 1J 'J'( I qUI ~~~~ '.liftOLL r,. GENTLE T'II,.0rrIN(j, 1'>c.~Y<.A1'! °WJ-N<;, : "(ou'llo LEG& To l0Ull. NA,~'.s $I.DU ~ ~'1' ,..~. ~~~~ you"'- A1tM~ To "'01/"'- oWN,. ~\~ ~t~ you~ HANDS AND lleELS .DoYVl{ ~\ ,}.O~· @ 'You~ KEA~T AIIII ilEA» Ul'. ~"

RULES FOR RIDING.

carpeting and the kitchen dresscr for $7.87, Looks as if Rubc TO A BORROWING FRIEND. was thinking of.housckecping on his own account." She sighed as shc wrote the,se words. Rcuben Simkins. CALL thec friend, fo!' surely never man had been hcr ,. steady company" for thc past six months, but I Stuck closer to me with intent to stay; And though I Iikc thee not, thc more I plan, he had never actually come to the desired point, and lately it Tholl gro\\~est dearcr to me every day. had seemed to Mehitabel that he wss drifting away from her

_/I courtin' one 0' them Larrabee girls," shc thought bitterly, She resumed her seat, but somehow her ideas had deserted her. A quiet step behind her, and shc looked up to find Rubc standing at her side, his che~k,s rosy with the cold winter ai r.

Before she could exclaim /I Why, Rube!" he had grasped thc last page of the c.orrespondencc, and was reading the account of the auction.

"Wa'al, so I be!" hc cried, II flood of courage sweeping

• over him, /I an' ef yer like, Mehitabel," he continued putting his

arm about her waist, /I ye kin say thet the Pogram Centre corre­ spondent will be an equal partner in the concern. Naouw jist you put that daoun, an' it's a bargain." Mehitabel did as she was bid, and the next day all Bean­ ville r:l.ng with the news that Reuben Simkins had come to the ncratch at last, and the editor of the BtatlVil/t Sen/inti received VISITOR: POOR FELLOW! INCURABLE, YOU SAY. WHAT a letter notifying him that his paper's correspondent at Pogram "'AS THE CAUSE? Centre would be obliged to resign her position 'on account of KEEPER: HE GOT l'm: BASE BALL CRAZE LAST SUMMER, another engagement." j. L. Font. A~() ACTED AS UMPIRE FOR. A WHOLE SEASON! 8 TOWN TOPICS. Newark, N. J. Mr. G. W. Harkness was the best m1an, and the gentlemen who oAlciated as ushers were M.r. I?arry h.. Edwards, of Cleveland, Mr. S. C. Hopkins, of Catskill StatIOn, N. Y., Dr. Q. Purdy Lindsley, of New Haven, and Mr. Wilbur Par~er" of Cleve· lan1. A reception was held al the home of the bnde smother, Mrs. J. II. Devereux at 869 Euclid avenue, from 4 to 6 P. M. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews are in the E1St on a wedding journey. '~ THERE is trouble in It will be somewhat of a surprise to society oeople to learn of the the camp 01 the wedding announcement for Wednesday next, at the residence of the Algonquins, and West bride's parents, No. 3661 Wa'ihington avenue, St. Louis, of Miss Side society is all agog Louise Gauss with MI'. Lewis G. Kies, of this city. Mr. and Mrs. in consequence. The Kies will be at home Wednesdays 111 January, at No. 1040 Pros­ Algonquin Club has reo pect street. cently starled with a view of ulti­ The dates of the forthcoming rose balls are announced as fol- mately becoming the Union lows: At Mrs. Tod's, Tuesday, December 17; at Mrs. Painter's, 'Club of the West Side. The Wednesday, January I; at Mrs. Perkins', Tuesday, January 14· club proposes to own its build­ The balls will begin' at 8 P. ~l. ings ill the near future, and the Dr. Dudley P. Allen gave a theatre party at the Opera House first consideration was the ~elec­ last Tuesday, for Miss Wilder and Miss Merrill, who are the guests tion of a ploper membership. of 1\1 rs. George A. Garretson. After a number of meetings by the ch:utel' members, the consti­ Mrs. G. W. Cady and Miss Celia Mae Cady will give a dancing tution, rules and by,laws were adopted, and among these was one parlyat '404 Euclid avenue, December 23, for Miss Maria Card restricting the membership to fifty. That was satisfactory and Gc.sJine, of Toledo. things went along swimrningly until lhe cluh numbered forly-four. Mrs. Julius Lembeck, of Genesee avenue, gave a ladies' recep­ Then came a lull in the proceedings. Nam~ after name was pro­ tion, Thursday afternoon, and a receplion for gentlemen in the posed, including men who stand high in business and social circles, evening. but one little black ball always appeared in the ballot-box, and Mr. Louis H. Severance and Mr. James Corrigan are sojourning according to the constitution that was enough to reject a candi­ in the Lake Superior regions, looking up their mining interests. date. Colonel a~d Mrs. George A. Garretson gave a reception to the Repeated efforts to discover the identity of the person who so First City Troop on Wednesday evening. persistently blackballed the best men on the West Side, proved Mr. and Mrs. John R. Geary and Miss Geary gave a French unavailing, and in the midst of the excitelllent a special meeting euchre :tt 8 1'. M. on Wednesday. was called for one evening this week to find a way out of the 'frs. Dudley B. Wick is to give a dancing party this eveni~g for dilemma. It is said tl~t some of the di~nified West. ide busine s her niece, Miss Alma Page. men used some very strong language in ch:uacterizing the action . Mrs. C. H. Seymour gave a dinner party on Tuesday at her resi· of the mysterious black bailer and finally a remedy was distovered dence, No. 447 Prospect street. whrreby it is hoped to end the trouble, The rule was changed, Mrs. R. G. Richter, of Milwaukee, is the guest of Mrs. C. F. so that instead of one ball three wdl hereafter be required to re­ R:tnd, of Fiith avenue. ject an applicant. It was also proposed that the charter list be Mrs. W. J. McKinnie gave a progressive euchre, Thursday after' extended to sixty instead of fifty members, but the latter proposi­ noon. tion was rejected and the limit was made fifty·nine. Since then, Mrs. E. R. Perkins gave a lad ie,' reception on Tuesday afternoon. several new names have been proposed, :tnd it remains for the Miss Mix, of Superior street, gave a card party last Sat~rday. next meeting to determine how the new black-balling b',y will Mrs. Peter Hitchcock gave a ladies' luncheon on Thursday. work. ------Below is a substantially correct list of the members of the Algon­ quin Club: J. F. P,lIlkhurst, Ira fl. Ihsselt, S. E. Brooks, D. R. CHRONIQUE. Hanna, S. E. Folsom, lIarry Taylor, E. S. Cook, S. Bourne, AR les ~re;entes nous ferons connaitre nos lecteurs nos ob. Howard II. Burgess, W. F. Thornton, \Y. C. Storer, J. C. Weide­ I.J a servatlons sur les institutions americaines. Le citoyen man"H. E. Hill, Dr. . ~L Jones, Dr. F. J. Weed, Dr. F. E. Bunts, amcri,cain re<;oit. SOil education aux ecoles primaires et superieures Dr. N. A. Gilbert, Dr. G. \Y. Crile, \'villiam II. Crowl, luhn T. Bourke, George Presley, Dan Myers, A. M. RoLJiJins,' E. M. (publlques). B,enque superficielles, ces ecoles qui sont gratuites, o,ff~ent. avantag~s Folsom, William I-l. Gwinn, Luke Lascelles, George C. IIernden, bien des it ceux qui les frequentent. On yenseigne George E. IIartnell, John B. CoHinberry, W. E. Perkins, Joel J hlstOlre, les mathematlques, les sciences, les langues vivantes, Ies Fuller, J. P. Smith, William Luce, C. E. Lindsley, \Y. C. Law­ langues mortes et celles qui paraissent etre mortes-Ie latin de cUi~i~e,. rence, F. W. Cook and about eight others. par exemple. Neanmoins il faut admeltre que I' etudiant am~r1caln co~nait Miss Antoinette Huntington Devereux, daughter 01 the late bien la constitution de sa patrie, ce qui ne peut europeen~, General J. H. Devereux, and Mr. II Hac~ E I'worth Anurews were touJours se dire des surtout des cosaques. married on Wednesday afternoon, in SL PJ.ul's Episcopal Church. On peut considerer Ie the.ltre I'ecole de la ci vilisation. L'histoire The church was exquisitely de~oraled and th~ musical selections ne ~ous enseigne·t-elle pas que Socrate, Pericles, frequentaient Ie were of the choicest. The impressive w-:dling ceremony was be. theatre?. :Ne soyons donc pas t·lOp peS6lllllstes." Nos bourgeois ont gun by the ·Rev. Cyrus S. Bates, rectol' of St. Paul's, and com­ bIen .'du gout non seulmen t pOur I'a pellHure mals. aussi pour la muslque. Le President ··t b' d" pleted by the Rt. Rt:v. 1 . S. Rulison, ais:st:tnt bishop of Central aUlal len u dans son message au con- Pennsylvania, one of St. P.lul's former rectors. The bridesmaids gres, recommander,I' et abl'Issement d' un conservatOlre gouverne. were Miss Rose Devereux, of Ulica, N. Y., the 1isses Lilly and mental ou academie de beaux·arts. Bon moyen pour reduire Ie surplus. Charlotte Andrews, and Miss Lilian M:tcauley, the latter of M ACCHIAVELLI. TOWN TOPICS. 9

and old Mr. Lyon, who is ~s well known to every Cleveland Mason SAYS ROBERT TO ALLEN. :lS the temple itself, carefully got on the platform and was jammed into the car by the conducter. Quick as a flash, a young lady rose LT.EN O. 1\1 VERS received a letter, the and offered her seat to Mr. Lyon, and she was so determined that other day, from the Cleveland Pr{'ss, the veteran tyler was fain to accept the seat. The lady was Miss asking him to send a photographic par· Kate Schmitt, daughter of the Superintendent of Police. trait of himself. The great Allen de· c1ined to send the photo but, instead, LL the world and his wife are talking of the music at the wrote a sancy letter, which induced the Andrews·Devereux wedding at St. Paul's, on last Wednes­ editor of the Press .to reply in kinu. A day afternoon, and it is prononnced the finest ever heard at any The letter is the more interesting as it local wedding ceremony. A choir of eleven skilled singers was has a peculiarly local bearing, and one specially trained for this occasion by Prof. John Underner, organ­ that must grate harshly upon certain ist of the church, and the effect of their beautiful singing was s.~nsitive ears. Mr. Calvin $ Brice may greatly enhanced by the fact that they were unseen. The choir be elected senator, and then, again, he may not j but if he does, he loft was hidden by a dense mass of towering palms. The inno­ will learn to use means other than these his friends are nowem· vation of singing has proved to add so much to the attractiveness playing. lIere is the letter: of weddings that it will, without question, be auopted at all the Drar Sir :-The request for your photo was a mistake made by ceremonies this season. our young man, who was instructed to secure photos 01 Ohio pea pIe in whom our reilders :Ire, or are likely to be, interested. Vou refuse your ,.)1OtO, but I wish to a. sure you, young mnn, that a 1I3RARIAN BRETT remarked the other day that the stan· complete and hloody revenge is within my grasp. It consists in I ~ dard of intelligence among Cleveland patrons of the public the fact that I can order 'our artist to make a cut of your noble library is constantly on the increase~ and while the percentage 01. features from memory, whenever we wish to trot you ,·ut for the books drawn on fiction is about on a standstill, the percentage of delectation of our readers! If this threat has no terrors for you, works of a higher order is constantly increasing. "This improve· blast you, you can keep your old photo. The grounds upon which ment," said Mr. Brett, "is largely due to the increase of reading yo.u hase your infamolls refusal touch me. Vour discovery of and literary circles, and besides, all the fictions we have on our "self.respect" is one of the most remarkable to be recorded in this shelves:at present are of the best oruer. What is the most popUlar

most remarkable age of scientific rese.:.rch and progress. Looking work on the shelves of the public library? Wallace's Bm Du y • from the restricted and not too elevated circle of a "petty sheet," When the work was first issued we had as many as fifty copies on I have been led, by your puhlic and professional acts, to imagine the shelves and we couldn't supply the demand. A few had to be that among all your many excellent qualities, that of self-respect thrown away, being worn out from constant use, and even now a was entirely wanting. As a felluw journalist, I rejoice that I have copy 01 Bm Bur is seldom on the shelves. The most popular - been deceived by appearances. Cultivate that long hidden germ, work o( the present day is Bellamy's Looking Back7tJard. 1 belie"ve Allen-cultivate it! There is too damned little of it in journalism. we have some eighteen copies, and they are always out." You most frankly and unkindly accuse us of lying about you. This from youl Do you remember what Christ said to the mob T will be news to many that there is an organized gang of urn· that was after the prostitute? And your letter before me is not brella thieves in town. The men work in partnership, and the first instance in which you have taken occasion to throw I they are doing quite a paying business. Members of the gang "stones" at our veraci t y. BlI t let me call your at ten tion to a most frequent public offices on rainy days, make the tours of the large notahle case of lying. In January, 1084, the Press, through its cor· stores and hotels and as soon as an umbrella is left leaning against responden tat Colu mbus (myself), mai ntained that the sen atorsh ip the counter they simply walk past and appropriate it. The post was being Loughl. "Pickaway" said that this was a lie. His office vestiLule is the mo!;t fruitful spot for Ihe umbrella thief and paper, relying upon his'statements sent from Columbus, proclaimed proLably n dozen or so are lost (In every rainy day. People pur­ that Payne's accusers were liars, blackmailers, etc. That is the chasing stamps leave them leaning against the wall and others sort of advertisement you gave me-a man young in the business, busy stamping envelopes forget all about their umbrellas and but rising, hy God! but of good repute, professionally and person· leave them upon the heater. If the thief happens to be caught­ ally-that is the sort of an introduction you gave me to a profession and he seldom is-he simply excuses himself an'! says that he you profess to be honorable and to love. If there is any man I thought it was his own. can !tale, it is he who proclaims, insinuates, or thinks that I am a blackmailer. Vou lied in January, 1884. I n a recen t speech you proved that you lied then. ARRV DIXO ,clerk of the board of education, is one of All the above, Allen, to work off an unusually large secretion of H the best-natured men in town; but his temper was recently bile this morning". In fact, I adlllir~' you as one of the most accom­ riled to such a degree that his best friends don't know him. When plished liars and hrilliant cranks in the profession. Vou are more asked for an' explanation, he said that (or several weeks past, he valuable to humanity and to QUI' profession than a regiment of met an old man almost daily, to and from work, who pleasantly "Gaths," McLeans, and Forheses. You see, if I hadn't a fraternal nodded to him. By and by, the old man passed him with a feeling for you, I wouldn't tllke the trouble to reply to your in­ "How de do, Mr. Graves," and one day, Dixon stopped him famous epistle of November 18, with this thundering long letter. and asked him what he meant by addressing him as Graves. Yours, ROIlT. F. PAINE, "Why, that's your name," remarked the polite old man. "No," Editor Ihss. rrplied Dixon, "you're greatly mistaken." "Am I, indeed," res· ponded the old man, "don't you suppose I know wha~ I am talking T may not be a great thing to talk ahout, and as a matter of fact about? You're Graves the plumber. I know you and you can't I it isn't. It wa just a bit of courte y, but it was a clever thing fool me." The new acquaintance still greets him as Graves, and to do, and it's worth recording. It was in a cr()wded street car, Dixon wants to know if he looks like a plumber. • ~LI Of tit: L LY 0L\_ D E:..

I ""

G~[I\T

II/Ii i' HE VVI N~ '. :IIJ t, 1 ,U1rn _,e::: . 5To P, --..r

f\yJ 11 u~~ ( Up w, D 1 ~_=- 'fT\1 C1 /\ rs, D D!\ T S 1\f\lE--.~ Atc;G ift f ,- AN 'GivE' I)~" -M [ ~ AC ANC '

THE IOE. 12 TO\VN TOPICS. "Bluebearcl, 11'." is a falling off from" The Crystal Slipper," the extravagan~a which came to us from the Chicago Ooera House Jast fea,on. The story, in .the first place, has not the charm of Perrault's tale, and the semi·pathetic flavor of Cimlerel.'a's lonely and despised condition-which the quaint personality of lillIe Marguerite Fish preserved intact amidst the folly and the tawdriness of the surrounding performance-is altogether absent from "Bluebeard:" Then the present company is not as entertaining as that of last season. Mr. Eddie Foy is now, as then, the principal comedian, ",HIS week the moun lain comes but he appears to have grown tired. Anyway, whether it is list­ to Mahomet. The upper classes l lessness or because he has exhausted himself, Mr. Foy 'is much less would nnt go 10 the \'ari, ty show, 'amusing than formerly. Mr. Frank Blair, also, does not shine so so the variety ~hClw comes to them. brilliantly as a burle"que co,nedian as he does in a better grade of A mutual benefit has fullowed this work. theatrical change of hase. The Miss Alice Juhnson makes an acceptable Selilll, and is the best coffers of the management are be· singer of the party. The Ayt!slta of Miss Esther Williams is amus· ing lined and the vision of that ing, and she is an ener~etic worker. lVii,s Edith Murilla is so·so order of theatre·g0ers is being ex· as Fatima. tenned. One thing to he fervently pnye I f'lr in this progres,ive world of The scenery is beautiful, though it does not appear to the best ours is a truly catholic spirit of comprehension. An elastic spirit advantage on so small a stage, and the costumes, those of the prin. which will admit the possible virtues of the unfamiliar, which will cipals at least, quite urillianl. recognize the f,lctthat good may come out of Nazareth, and which, Clara Qualitz, the chief dancer, is graceful and agile. in imitatiun of Shakespeare's forest phil030pher, will finel "good in everything." I don't see any sense in importin~ our lurid melodramas from There is one great merit of the variety show which cannot be England wh~n the c10mestic dramatist can turn out as good an overestimated. It is simple. At the lime when business and artiL'Ie as "Lights and Shadows." True it. has no literary merit, society are making their continual and exhaustive demands upon hut one does not paInt a panorama with the clelicate strokes of a man's physical and mental nature, it presents an enlertainment that camel's-hair brUSh, and melodranll presents a panoramic view 0: can be enjoyed passively and without exertion. It restores, in a life. word, the stage to its original purpose of amusement. "Lights and Shadows" has the conventional see·saw of vice The Hennan Vaudeville Troupe, now at the Opera House, is a and virtue. The wickerl end of the plank brings up all the scum sublimated variely show. All t'he coarseness and occasional sug· of life, while the virtuous end scrapes off some of the blue of gestiveness that disfi~ure it in its cheaper forms, have disappeared heaven in its oscillations. in this rarefied atmosphere. Most of the performers are foreigners, The best played part in the piece is the female villain 01 Miss hut Mr. Gus Williams does not trail the flag of this country in Annie Duclay, who seem, to have a first mortgage on these un­ the dust by his contribution. grateful characters. She puts a great deal of fire in the scene in Trewey is the star of the troupe, and is a ~enuine artist in his the third act, where she denounces the son for his father's crime. line, or lines rather, for his performance is a mixed one of jugglery, Miss Filz-Allen is pleasing as the heroine. The Claude Maul of sleight·of.hand, and shadow· making. Some men-awl women, Mr. William Mortimer is very depressing. too-convey in everything they say or do, the impression of an in. ;:~ *~!:. exhaustiule reserve force, and Trewey comes naturally into this Manager Drew is unfortunate, to say the least, with his border category He is so skillful, so easy and assured, that you feel cer· plays. They are like wet fireworks. There is a vast amount of tain that, were if necessary, he could give the entire entertainment preliminary sputtering, but they ~o off with a fizz. himseH without,xhausting his powers. He seems to have a For· "The Scouts D.lughter" is another" On -Furlough" without Cunatus purse of talents that is always full, no matter how much he the mantle of amateurdom to protect it. The play has no merit gives out Irom it. and the acting lails to lend it any. Even the horses could not Personally, he is an intelJectuallooking man, graceful, aud with make it a stahle attraction. a well· bred bearing that dignifies his pedormance. Miss Pauline Parker, the star, is a very poor actress and the fat Afler him comes Gus Williams, whose humor, chastened by his young man, who played the hero,.did not even know the words .of surroundings, shines out very brilliantly. The monologue does his part. not hold on the American stage the same artistic positioll that the *"'* French have given it, though I can never understand why. There, Why is it that managers always expect a celtain latitude of the most tlistinguished actllrs do not hesitate to utilize it, and some judgment toward a Monday night performance? The paying pub. of their most genuinely artistic effects have been produced through lic is certainly entitle,l to as much on that night as at any other its medium. If Mr. Harry Kernell, the best of American monolo· time, and a botched and abortive performance is to thei"r financial gists, or Mr. Gus Williams, who treads on his heels, could appear injury. in Paris, they would be ~urprise~l at the value that would be placed What would be thought of a grocer who gave his customers UpOIl their efforts. halr·roastecl coffee on Mondays because his roaster was not if. golid Another prominent featl\re of the Hermann show is Le Petit condition? Yet the managers often are ~uilty of parallel actions. Freddy, a remarkably clever little child. Katie Seymour is a At.two of the theatres this week, the Lyceum and the Star, the glaceful dancer, but Miss Eunice Vance is a serio·comic singer open1llg performances were simply rehearsals. not up to the general standard. The At hols do a. very ingenious There (\ught to be no occasion for askIng people to witnesss acrobatic act, but the Pinands, French grotesques, are a weak spot plays in which the prom pteI' takes the principal role. on the programme. SAGE. TOvVN TOPICS.

COMING ATTRACTIONS. week in Ma ter Charles Carter, the boy mind reader, who ha. succeeded to the mantle of the late Irving Bishop.

R. LEWIS MORRISO will be the [MUSICAL MELANGE. star at the Lyceum Theatre next week. He will produce a new ver­ HE Philharmonic Orchestra shows a decided and a persistent sion of" Fausl,'- which is said to be a T improvement under the intelligent drilling of Mr. Ring. The literary work of a high order, and to concert on last Tuesday was the most ambitious one yet, and, taking supplement this desirable quality with everything into cor.sideration, it was the most satisfactory. The d marvel0u5 stage effectiveness. Stage greatest interest was shown in the Volkmann symphony. This is mechanism has profited equally with a daring and unconventional work that clearly shuws the impres­ other branches in this latter·day wave sion Wagner has made on the composer. Its second movement of improvement, and all the weircl and has a theme of particular beauty. In' the" Egmont " overture, uncanny physical phenomena which which opened the concert, the brass was too heavy, but this was abound in "Faust," are reproduced in Mr. Morrison's presenta­ not noticeable in the other ~elecliolls. In this same number, also, tion of it. He makes special use of electricity, and is said to ob­ the flutes were at fault at one time. The" Lohengrin" music was ~t. tain some bewillering elTects from All this, though, is sec­ the best played of the evening, though the first violins were a little ondary to hi, dramatic treatment of the character of Mepitis/o, ancl uncertain at the close of the prelude. The entire number, though, hundreds of pens, from all parts of the country, have told of his was given with an intellectuality that was truly admira.ble. Mr. marvelous success in it. His conception is original ancl intellec­ John Marquardt, the cOllcer/.l1Ieider, was heard to better advantage tual, and his embodiment of that conception is artistic to the high­ than on any previous occasion. He has a fine tone, his execution est degree. Mr. Morrison wi 11 have the support of a company of is brilliant and clean, qualities that are not always companions, excellent actors, of whom his daughter Ro~e is the most prominent. and he took the last movement of his solo, the tarentelle, at a A welcomt> engagement is that of The Bostonians at the Opera dashing pace from which he never faltered. Mr. O;car Franklin House, next week. It IS the most popular of all the opera com· Comstock has a throaty method of singing, which prevents him panies that visit Cleveland, and this popularity was legitimately from making the most of his voice. WOIl at the beginning, and has been as legitimately perpetuated. The Frohsinn, Harmollle, and the Height's Maennerchor, sing­ The ptrsonl1el of the company is about the same as for some seasons ing societie)' that are drilled by Mr. C. R. Moeller, will combine past, with Marie Stone still heading the sopranos, and with that for a grand cOllcert at Germania Hall, on next Tuesday evening, clever littlp. woman, ]uli,et Corden, advanced to more importat;t December 17th. The individual societies are strong in numbers parIs. Jessie B.lltlelt Davis, the be~t of American contraltos, is and well trained, and their joint efforts should be unusually inter­ still a lower of strel1gt'l in the company, and the leading male esting. An excellent programme has been arranged. singers are Karl, McDonald, Cowles, Barnabee and Frothingham. Arrangements are now being made, by which the various local The list of operas for the week is as follows! Monday and Th~lrS­ German singing societies will unite for a concert at Music Hall, the day, "Don Quixote; " Tuesday and Friday, "Susette;" Wednes· latter part of next January. If the plan is carried into effect, the day, "Pygmalion allcl Galatea;" Saturday, "Bohemian Girl," Thomas orchestra will probably be engaged to assist. The pro­ and" The Poachers" at the Saturday matinee. Much is expected gramnle will be largely made up of the music to be sung at the from" DOli Q'uixote," which is by Dekoven and Smith, o~ Chicago, Saengerfest in Ne~ Orleans, next February. and" Susette" is said to be a very jolly little opera.. I Mr. Sumner Salter, who will be rem'embered as a talantecl One of Mr. Jacobsown companies will appear at his local theatre organist and a good fellow, is taking quite a prominent part in n:xt week, and this fact ensures both its quality and its attractive­ musical affairs in New York, where he is now located. ness. A man who controls as many theatres as he does, develops The next Philharmonic concert will be given January 21, 1890. a great skill in reading the tastes of his patrons, and he has found Miss Marie Egts will playa Beethoven concerto, and Mr. H0mer Mr. N. S. Wood, the boy actor, to be one of his most popular at­ A. Moore will be the vocal soloist. tractions. Mr. Wood will appear in "Out in the Streets," a The Cathedral fair was opened last Thursday night with all ex· p.,werful melodrama, especially written for the display of his pro­ cellent concert arranged by Prof. J. T. Wamelink, organist of St. tean talents. It deals with high and low life in New York, and John's Cathedral. every act bristles wilh thrilling scenes. It will be mounted with c~nrront t~lem entirely ne~ scenery, which, ill many cases, (aitTlfully reproduces T must be pleasant for travelers. tO,have a carJ at all places where they buy their tlck~ts, that" In the IUld,t of familiar metropolitan landmarks. Mr.]acobs woul? not surround I life we are in death." In purchasing a ticket they no doubt read his star; with any but competent aC,tors, so a well-rounded per­ with a peculiar thrill of joy that in the event of death, their corpses f,)fmance of "Out in the Streets" can be looked for. will be worth and that if they should happen to meet with Frank 1. Frayne, who played a very successful engagement at the $3,000, an accident thq will receive per week. The sentence, "Spe­ Slar Theatre a few weeks ago, is booked there for a return engage­ SIS cial benefits for loss of lim bs or eyes," must be particularly plea.sa nt ment next week. He is a great fa vorite in Cleveland, especially before taking the tram for an extended trip. WIth the regular patrons of the Star, and he will probably duplicate his earlier victory. The plays in which h'e appears and the charac­ ters he assumes are both of a popular type full of the rugged man­ GOOD· LaOK lNG, well.eJite~, and. attracti.ve journal,is the liness and heroism of every-day life-and they appeal with particular A Times, a new tw·o·cent mornlllg dally, whIch made It5 ap· force to the people. He brings with him a wel~-selected company, pearance this week. The paper is in the hands 01 experienced men, and special scenery for every play he presents. His repertory for and all its appvintmentsare complete. Its telegraphic news, while the week will be as follows: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, condensed, covers the entire field, .'\nd the local page is crisp and and Wednesday matinee, "Diogenes Tramp," and "Kentucky newsy. Typographically, it is, hy all odds, the handsomest of the besp~ak Belle" the remainder of the week. • Cleveland dailies, and we for the new comer a prosperous The Dime Museum will present a phenomenal attraction next career. TOWN TOPICS.

~- . .- G.•

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TIlE WAm\Tr, OF THE HO\TEYMOO\T :\LfRED (7,',110 (,II/Ie 11I/1Il1' 7Ifrl' II/te II/sl lIIi/11 jrtJ/1l 1/ I/l/dlt'lors' dillll"r, I,IId IIIIS 1/<'1'11 "Cllt(hillg if" tllij' 1II''''IIill!,''): I) 1..\ () A )\05'1' 1I0RKITH.E IlR),:,I)1 LIST 1\11;11'1', • ARABELL\ (sl1rrasticn/~I'): Dill YOli, INIlEEIl? How SURi'RI51:,\C! ALFRED: DIU [ WAKE I'l' WITII A SCRE.-\)), OR 1\\\'TI-l1:"1G OF TIIAT SORT? ARA I1ELL.-\: No; I'ERIIAI'S YOU IIAIl EATI':'I so MUCH YOU COIlL)):';'T. \VIIAT WAS VOl'R :';T(;lIT)-1ARF:? :\LfRED: [lJIU':A)\EII IliAD TWO \\'I\'E5 I NSTI':.I\' OF O:';E.

a difference hats A man is as old feels-a woman as old as her hal-no-as old as she looks in her hat. 'When she 'gets on a trJm, light, lillk ,/turban, selling . squareJyon her head, a ueal veil lied slllooth.

you meet her, .. Dear! dear! how til1l'~ flies! r had no idea .\larie was

g-elting old I But she is a swcll-luuking Woman" Such an air! Suc!, a

"arriage! (;Ul'SS I'll hal"e to call." .- :.' Perha ps I he nex I day A HUMORIST. you meet her again. What a mctamorphosis! Where is the ~n: t DOLLY: AI\'. Gus, HEAH I.ATEST JOKE? iT"s "WEAT. f:lshionahle woman of \'(~sterda)'? This is the school.girl of WilY SIlUUI.U TIIE-A\\'-I'EOI'I.E K"UW l\l Cintl.\'; HEFllAIl TIIEY-AW-SEE ME? half a dozen rears ago. :\ broad brimmed hat is )Inched GU·S: BEI',\I'SE YOU'KE SO 1.I11"))? carelessly uver tltlll)', wind.IJluwn lJangs, little straggling ends of , DOLLY: :'01.\\\'; IJECAl:SE lilY TR;1L'SERIN"S-TRUllS~~K'Rl''''5 SEE? ,'u • TOWN TOPICS.

hair flr about her neck; no veil, nothing dislinguf, and yct THE TOPMOST STAIR. -well, which do you like the better? I was chatting with Madame the Milliner a few days ago, ULL many a man of purest gate serene when a young woman .fluttercd in, I< with a little poke bonnet F The dark unf:uhomed glooms of midnight snare, tied under her chin," her cheeks round allli rosy, her e)'es bright, Full many a man had gained his couch unseen her mouth saucy; she was bewitching, Shc gave a few orders, But that his footstep landed on thin air. 'smiled a fcw smiles, and fluttered out again. J. J. .Jf. ,. II ow old do you S~l ppose she is?" asked Madamc, THE INTtLLlGEN'T COMPOSITOR . .. Oh ! about eighteen," answered I. "Shc's over thirty; she has one of those full, round faccs th:lI, un~lcr a little hat, looks fat and pudgy, but in a bonnet like RLl;GIST (ell/I'ring newspaper office, exdledly): See that shc looks exactly like a haby. She always wears some­ D here, I've had enough of the mistakes of your half-witted compositors, and I \-"ant my a~vertisement discontinued, thing suitpd to hcr grcat-grandmother; you sec the rcsult." PUBLISHER: What's the matter no\\'? An eldcrl)' lad)' came ill, her hair was grcy, shc tried on a DRUGGIST: The disreputable sheet which you call a ne\\'s­ broad black h:lt covered with nodding black tips, likc so many paper stated last week that prescriptions brought to my store hearse plume~, Only a young face could stand it, and in her were easily and quickly confounded. case the conlrast was painful, so uld, piuched and withncd did it make her look. She clapped on a turban with alacrity; YIATEUR ELOCUTIUNIST (redtiIlJ{7uith lender palhos) It was swell, IJut juvenile, alld was returned to ils peg. After A Take her u;:> tenderly, ' many Irials she was suited, under )Iadame's tasteful guiJanl;e, Lift her with care- sll~~'1! with a dark modish bunnet, which made her appear what shc E:-IVIOUS RIVAL (ill 'lV/lisper).' Vlhydoesn't he mark her .. LJ se no hooks," and be done with it. was-a quietly elegant woman of middlc age,

I< It's a queer world," said Madame, as we watched her step into her carriage. I< The school-girls come in and want some­ E: Why should you be so angry at me for stealing j~:st thing that will make them luok old and grown up; the old H one little kIss? ladies come in and tryon children's hats, Dear mc, but it's SHE: Any self-respecting woman \\'Uuld be angry at a 1:1<111 a queer world." Ysobel Campbell, who kissed her just once.

The N~w York Blizzard eng-ages a cor .. Where nre the Cannibals?" •. Ilere are tht Cannibals." respondent to go to Africa to IJ1vestigate the Cannibal question.

.. A re you real Cannibals?" "We a"~ real Cannibals" FROM THE NEW YONK BI.IZZAND,-We are informed that our African correspondent' has penetrated to regions from which he is unable to forward correspontlcn:e. ]6 TO\;V;-.r TOPICS.

SALLIE D'BRASSE. A good many wealthy families have regular pensioners, whc reap quite a benefit from the charity of their rich patrons, espe­ cially at holiday time. The funny part is that some of the pen, WISII people would he sen,ihle! ~ioners I would mther meet rhinoceros­ oiten receive from several different sources at once, and at ~kinned pel sons-people from whose Thanhgiving or Chri tmas time, their larders become stocked in armor of conceit. insulls and ofTences a manner that would astoni,h their well·to,do bendactors. We as Il'ell as hints glide like water from a told Ann, our cook, to invite her little brother and sister to eat dUl:k's hack-than these tender, human Thanksgiving dinner with her, but the invitation was net accepted, sensitil'e plants, who wilt at a cool as Ann's people had a lurkey of their own. However, the child' glance and are ready to perish anrl fade ren came round in ti me for dessert, and when I asked if they en­ away if the breezes of common sense blow on them. You may joyed tlH'ir turkey, the little girl answered that it was good, but imagine I don't get along- with the latter class at all. I have a they guessed the other would be better. troublesome hahit of speaking my mind on most occasions, can· " The other?" I queried, rather puzzled. venient or otherwise; ] can't refrain (rom making personal reo "Yes'm," said the child, ., we got two. Miss J--, she sent marks, anJ my impulsive nature is always leading me to jump at one, and Mrs. B--, that mother washes for, sent the other, an' I mistaken conclusiuns. This is very hard for the conclusions, but guess it weighs 'bout tli/enty pounds. We're gain' to roast it people seem to forget that it is hard for me, too. Sunday and have company, We stewed the one to-day. The Now just the other day I made the IllOst awkward mistake. lady what lives next door, she only got one turkey, from some­ Vie were having OIl;' furnace ccal put in, and every time the man llUdy she scrubs for, an' she was jus' as mad as she could be! She came wilh a load, he brought in the receipts to be ·signed. said it didn't weigh over ':el'en pounds an' had the feathers on, Mother and I sat 111 the library, so I would answer the doorbell too !" and sign Ihe receipts. Just at dusk the bell sounded, and mother ;/'* said, "There, that must be the last load," ] opened the door. I love 10 gale in the store windows, It II as storming hard, but outside of the storm door] descl ied a Aud this is just the time of the year to enjoy it. Mother says I tall, masculine figure with coat collar turned up about his ealS, so tnke a day off every time T need a spool of thread, but I can't with the cheerful remark: help ii, if shop-keepers will make their displays so i,llractil'e. ',Dear me, how it storms! Just step into the l'estilJUle while I There nre the AOI'ists' windows. They take up some of my time. sign this-" I snatched the bit of pasteboard from his out­ And I like to watch the white·capped candy l1I~kers, and the pan­ stretched hand and hastened in, closing the inner door after me. cake bakers, and to see them twisting up thuse sugar basl-ets Peilcil in hand I started to affix the D'Brasse signature, when­ and things at Chandler and Rudd's. And it's fun to read horrible! It was nL coal receipt, but the neat calling·cald of the the prices of things in the dry goods WIndows, even if they are exquisite M. C, Horace l\'Jilder that I beheld! I just took time to :uticles you don't want and never expect to. But the toy store scream and scare mother before rushing back to the vestilJllle, but windows are the best. I shall never outgrow my juvenile admira­ my lost lamb was gone. He had do idea of "waiting patiently tion fur the wOliderful displays set forth by the toy shops, There about 'til Mary did appear." Now, why couldn't he have said is nlways a crowd of urchins flattening their noses against the something to have prevented my making such a mistake, or to panes, and I !Ike to hear their remarks. have turned it off as a joke after I had gone and done it? Or,. This morning, though, I was rather shocked. I had stopped to why couldn't I:e have called in the evening instead of at that ab­ look at a lot of French dolls-a bewildering array of'sweetness surd twilight hour? I suppose I'll have to explain matters if J smili.ng t~lI'Oug~l the big plate·glass, Some poorly-clad but bright ever meet him again, but he won't believe me. He'll always looklllg lIttle glrl~ shared the beauteous spectacle with me, and I think it was some scheme concocted for the purpose of making purposely li~tened to their childih speeches, thinking how lovely him ridiculous, It would be If I could only make earh of them happy with one of It's awful, but I can't keep from laughing every time I stop to the dainty waxen midgets. wonder what he supposed I meant by asking him to wait in the '.' Isn't that a sweet, beautiful dolly?" said a yellow-haired little vestibule while I ~igned his care!. malden beside me. ',' Yes," answered an older girl, glancing at the hanebome doll T don't want to discourage ~;lY one from being charitable, pOln!ed out, II it's just like the one you stole from me!" for if I did, I should be robbing them of one of the greatest bless­ "Oh, I beg your pardon," was the mild hut firm reply, \'ery ings lire can olTer-the pleasure of making others happy. But it coolly spoken, "I never stole no Jail off from you, Jennie Murphy certainly is true that if" charity thinketh no evil" and" asketh nor no one else!" , no questions," thllse who receive charity often do think wicked 01 course there was an altercation then and I left the s bIl' thoughts and ask all manner of impertinent questiuns concerning If' qua ) Ing C lOrus 0 II\: ou did's" and" Sure I didn'ts" and c, Ought to be the alms they receive. I suppose there is no more captious fault. ashamed of yoursell's." But I should like to kilO 1 . " W lOW It turned finder than the professional pensioner, and no keener CI itic of out, and If the pO~lte littl~ girl lost her equanimity. I can't say colrl vietu.lls than the tramp who 3ssails the ba k door and :JS I felt so chantaLly dl,posed towards the youngsters when I frightens the servants into giving him food. found what a set of little heathens they eemed to be. I tried to give away a suit or clothes the other day. The man told such a pitiful story-I felt real happy to be able to help him <,;';'* Von are well enough acquainted with me by this time TOPICS -and In.other said I could give him the clothes. It was quite a to be aware that there isn't a sentimental 11 '. ' h' , good suit and he was very shahhy, hut he examined them critic­ . ' all 111 my ead. If there was, It would separate itself from its ' ally, hdd them up before him and g'azed in the hall mirror, then .'• companlo11s, and ~tanrl el~ct In horror at the ways of yourmatter,of,factS II' SI told me he would call for them in the evening if I would kindly 'd b' 'f II ' a IC. 0 don't Inl11 a 1t.1 te I you of a pp.culiar experience that I had the wrap them up. I kindly did, wondering if he was too much of a other evening. It has haunted me ever since and perhaps II swell to carry a parcel by daylight-and the bundle lies in the hall the ghost by telling you all abOILt it. • C'\11 ay closet yet. He never called for it! To begin with, I must make you acquainted with my widower. TOWN TOPICS. 17

He was a dear old fellow, rheumatic but wealthy, and he was in R. A. T. VAN TINE tells of a street car experience which, dead earnest, as widowers u~ually are, I believe, when they set M he says, beats the Dutch, whatever that may mean. He ai.o\lt it. Perhaps you may not believe it, but his attentions were had business in the office of the Standard Oil Works, on Broadway not acceptable, even to one who loves new bonnets and luxury as hill, ;lnd after transacting his business, waited half an hour in the well as I do. I can't say why it was that a wide·a-wake girl like rain for the lone and solitary bob' ail car that represents Uncle Joe yours truly should be so blind to her own interests, but I'm certain Stanley on the old Broadway route. The car finally crawled down that I never encouraged my ancient swain. But a mutual friend, the hill, and Mr Van Tine no sooner got on than the driver wound a match· making person, was always giving me worldly advice on up his brake with a Waterbury watch movement, and went away. the subject, and on the evening in question, she came to me with a Five minutt's passe-ten minutes--but no dri\'er retu'med. It trouhled face and opened the conversation, as usual, with a reference was just I2Yz minutes f.rom the time hit left that the Jehu was to the widower's wooing. But I was O\lt of patience, and belore she seen to walk toWard the ark. "Been -taking a snifter, eh ?" asked could say any more, I burst ant with a tirade of pent up indigna· Mr. Van Tine. "Oh, no," replied the governor·general or" the tion. I anathematized the whole race of widowers, and thp.n said cabriolet, "I've been having lots 0f trouble with my watch, lately, that match-makers were worse still, and I didn't stop saying dread· and I couldn't get it to keep lime, so 1 just thought I'd drop in to ful things until I was tired. Then that woman calmly informed the watch·maker's shop over yonder and get it repaIred. See?" me that I needn't waste my breath. Poor Mr. Blank would never And then he produced a brush and began to black his boots, while trouble me again. For he was killed last night in the great rail· the horses looked at him with much curiosity. road acciden t! Well, I was too sho<:ked to speak. Then I was consumed with HURSDAY is the day of the week dreaded by letter carrier~. remorse to think how I had been railing at the p/)or man. And T It is known as the day of the dynamiters, for on that day, then-oh, then, I realized what I had kst-how, if I had only thousands of mysterious little envelopes reach the post office, anr! listened to reason, I might now be a rich widow-all fixed nice being neither flesh, fish nor lowl, neither a letter nor a newspaper, and solid, with the incumbrance of a husuand so speeoily removed! the letter c~rriers have named them" the little dynamiters." A Then, with a s'Hiek of despair, I-awoke. Yes, TOPICS, it was all publication, not much larger than an envelop!', and which costs a dream. The wealthy widower was <111 a myth, and if there was the enormous sum of ten cents per annum, (subscrip ion in advance) a w. w. dangling about the D'Brasse mansion-well, I can't say and known as TIlt Gospel News. i~ the occasion or all this commo· how I would treat him-dreams go by contraries, yon know. tion among the letkr carriers. The little sheet causes them more {{obert Louis Stevenson, that morbid and masterly siory-writer, worry and anxiety than the advent of Christmls, when the letter claims to dream the plots of aJi his grewsome tnles, but I don't carriers have to make walking express wagons of themselves. think he can have any more thrilling nocturnal episodes than mille. Mother says it was the oyster paIL) which I ate at a little after, UST befure Thanksgiving, the tmt snow storm of the season the-theatre supper, \\ here we were escorted by a gentleman who is spoiled a beautiful little item for Tow[\; TOPICS. The item just past his prime. The combination may have had some effect, Jwas already in type, but the snow storm knocked it endways, and but I think a dream portends somethi1lg. the foreman of the composing room was given instructions to "kil1" it. It was all about a seconel crop of dandelions that the writer *** I hope no olle else will make the sad break that I committed the discovered on a Euclid avenue lawn, But the item will not down other evening. Gus B1ankie insisls that I confess in my letter, to and neither will the dandelions, (or early this week, hundreds of save him the trouble 01 telling it, I Sllppose. Gus consic1t:rs him· the pretty lillie yelluw fl,)wers peeped out from beneath the lawn, self something of a connoisseur in musical matters, and he was and in the sam ~ place wher~ they grew before Th lnko;giving. asking me if I wc uldll't like to go out to Calvary Chapel next Unless another ,now breaks in upon us between now and the day week and hear Fred Archer. TOWN TOPICS goes to press, anyone with sufficient curiosity to see "What,"I cried, "Not the English Fred Archer?" dandt:lions in December, can see them ?n the lawn just east of the "The same," replied Gus. Lennox. "Why, goodness graL-ious," I exclaimed, "What are thuse East "I T was the second most emharrassing predicament I was ever Cleveland people going to do with a horse jockey out there?" in in all my life," said Manager Gus Hartz a moment after They had a good laugh at my blunder. Of course, I had htard having retired from the stage, just afler he had handed Uncle John 01 the great organist, but had forgotten about the jockey's death, Ellsler a presen t. .,I tried hard to get ou t of it, as I fel t very sensitive ~peet:h and-well, my showed that my thoughts are apt to have a abuut confronting an ex-manager nf the same theatre on the stage rather sporlive tendency. in public anclllnder such circumstances, but could not, so I braved it out. Another al most similar instance was when I played at the Opera Have you heard uf the dress album? It's a new fad, and as it is House for the lleneht of my immediate predecessor, Lew Hanna. imported from England, it '~ill probal,ly he met with some favor H you don't believe these are embarrassing situations, just try some­ and much ridicule. The album is simply a blank book, on the thing like it." pnges of which you gum samples of all the dresses you have ever had, giving the date of first wearing, if possible, and writing down any interesting circumstances that mny be connected with the ~owns. I don't suppose every girl will keep a dress alhum. It wouldn't T f!E allell!ioll tl tIlt' public is r{'~pat­ be advisable where a girl'S father didnft "strike oil" until she was fll/I)I im'itt'd to the degant dlsp/ay grown up, or where a young woman had reached ,an uncertain age. of diamonds and the large assortment oj The ancient styles would give everything away, In the latter case. (hoice Holiday gifts SIIOW1'l at On the whole, I think the patch.work quilt of our grandmothers was a less dangerous and infinitely more useful dress·album than 1J.4/JL'S jEltVELRY STORE, Conler Superior and Smeca. the modern innovation. SALLIE D'BRASSE. 18 TOWN TOPICS.

WHAT HE WANTED IT FOR .

."I WANT a bottle of the Seyen Westerland Brothers' Hair Restorer," said the stranger, as he entered the drug store. .. Do' you want it for your hair or whiskers? " asked the clerk, .. Neither," said the man; ." I \rant it for my last year's sealskin roat. The fur is eaten away in places hy the moths."

IN THE GROCERY STORE.

" WELL," said the lump of sugar to the nutmeg; "and how do you feel to-day? " "Crate," replied the nutmeg, " and how are you? " "Oh," said the sugar, "I don't complain; I've got sand enough in me, thank goodness, to keep my end up, sick or no sick."

T comes pretty hard on the bow­ I legged young man \rhen he l ries to hold his best girl on his lap. EUBEN: Yes, it is perfectly R proper to speak of the pro­ ceeds of a walking match as gait receipts.

A CO:-JSIOERATE LOVER,

PARENT: O~' COURS!!:, AS MY IJAI'(;H'I'ER IS OF Al;E SHE C.\:\ SUIT H!!:RS!!:LF AS TO MARRYING YOU, BUT THE DAY SHE DOES, I WILL CUT HER OFF WITHOUT A I'E:-INY, SUITOR ((ffter a pau.se): W!!:LL, t::\DER THOSE CIRCU~ISTANCES, SIR, WE WILL BREAK

OUR E:-IGAGEM!!:NT, I COULU :-lOT TIII:\K t)F DEPRIVIX(; A YOUNG LADY OF HER INHERI­ 1'A:'\CE,

NOT EXACTLY THE SAME.

USTOMER (ill Grocery Storc): Do you keep Clay cigars? C '(;ROCEK: Never heard of such a thing, \iVe have the clay pipes, though-'bout the same thing, I 'spose.

TOO POINTED.

MR. O'BRIEN: DnolNls! (110 answer " I'LL give you a few pointers," yelled the enthusiastic politician ex- jrom we/I), 01 SAY, DINNIS, IS IT citedly, to Grimes, who was arguing with him. . DROWXED YE ARE, OR l"O1'? (no answer), "Cheese it," said Grimes, with a frightened look. "Don't say that again, for Heaven's IT'S A D-M FUI-LL,YE ARE, A1\YWAY; sake, If anybody heard you say that, it would ruin me," HOW AM I TO KXOW If: YOU DON'T " How would it?" asked the politician. A~S\\"E/{'? . ":B'ecause," said Grimes, "I'm a sausage nlakt;r;" TOWN TOPICS.

Messrs. E. I. Baldwin, Hatcll & Co., t!lf.' leading Silk and Fine Dr~ss

I Good House of Nortltern Ohio, will _~ I off~r until December 25th special ~ Ipnces in BONNET'S ELEGANT BLACK SILKS. "FAILLE FRANCAISE" is the popular . I weave, altllOuglt we SILOU' this SU- "1" & TE have Just closed out the entire stock PERB SILK in a number of weaves. W of Wile, Brickner & Wile, Roches- Full lines of Black Silk from other French and American Manufaeturers. ter, N. Y., comprising thousands I LYON'S 28 inch BLACK COS- Men's Suits and Overcoats. Th t fi d TUME VEL VETS, /lothing more a rm ma e I ,;,t b' if .. r- .. accer a te 0 . as a gt.J t .lor MotileI', us ndlculously low prices (it being the day of I T,vife, Sister or Lad)' Friend. EI{/- their dissolutiol1 of t h') d gaut Dinner andEvenin,g' Silks. The par ners Ip an now we new fiab'nc " jl'LOUSSeJI/T I·.JlIt-ae-Soie," in are offering thousands Men's Suits and Over- Black, White and Colors, love!.)' for dt:6 b I I I e'velling. Blael, Hand Run aud Cilau- coats at -IP .00, a so ute y worth $12.00 to tillyLaceSkirtillg,aLady'swardrobe

$15.00. Thousands Men's Fine '\Suits and is not rompletc 'without a [,ace Dress. o Fine French Combiuatioll Costumes, vercoats at $12.00 fully worth $20.00 to no otller trimming required. Camels

$25.00. Be quick for choice. Hairs, Casillneres, Bouretts, ELE­ GANT P[JAIDS, BLACA'DRRSS E. R. HULL & CO., FABRICS, variet)'1tnequaled.

$6 and $12 Bargain Givers. E.1. BALD HIIN. HATCH & CO. ------...,..--..-;.-...... ;;"..-..;;;.;.~;".:,,:,,;,.:::. For Holiday 'Gifts. HARRISON-MANY LIGHTING CO, Electrical. Pntelltil. Contractors lor United Electric CO., OSBORNE & CO., - b. RoomS, CARVING SETS in L log ting SO EUIJl1d Ave. Patent Lawyers -AND- Ivory, Pearl, Silver, Etc. The Streets of Cities and Towns. Electric Belts for Weak and Nervous People, Solicitors of Painits, Manufacturers of Kidney and Liver Com- 29 Euclid Avem;e, N ELEGANT LINE of ' plaints, Constipation, A Vapor Gas Burners, Fixtures, ' CLEVELAND, O. Torches, Gasoline and Oil Stoves ~tc. . Nut Cracks and Picks, and all kinds of Street Lantern~ Sleds, Bank Safes, Etc., for Gas, Gasoline and Kerosene. DrlLughtslllllll• ....Write for circulars and prices, Vienese and French Coffee Pots. N. S. AMSTUTZ. 13 to 23 Davies St., C1evelaod, 0, Arlist-DraurMsllla 11 , 34 Black,tAJnc Bld'g,Cicveland, . COMPLETE LINE of TELBPHONE 2°72. 0., Telephone «.q. House Fl,lrnishing Good!'. Patent Office Draw­ ings, Drawings for Photo and Wood En­ E. DEC:E:::EJE., graving, Perspectives Seal', Rubber and Stec Stampa, Stencil" elAl. 143 Euclid Avenue. from Working Plans, 92 Seueca st. M'Intosh, Huntington &Co. etc. Photographic Portaits, Photogrllol)her. Desk8. JI6 and JI8 Superior St. LASH-LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHS, House Inte· F riors and Photo-Crayons A SPECIALTY. Mr. Burgess &, Fish, Decker has, been awarded the highest premium Desks, Chairs and GRAHAM, LANG &CO., whenp.ver exhibiting in competion, in Amenca and IMPORTERS OF FINE CIGARS. abroad. Office Furniture, Photographer, 213 BANK STREET. A fresh lot of Imported Cigars just re­ &: Mr. Mrs. J. C. H. Yance's Tel. 2329" ceived specially for the Holiday Box 211 SUPERIOR ST. trade. SCHOOL FOR DANCING WEISGERBER'S HALL, BEAL ESTATE. 366 SUPERIOR STREET. Classes for Juveniles, Saturday'morn­ ings and afternoons. NO. COLAHAN- DR. W. JUNGMANN, Adults-Bei'innera-Monday and Tues­ J Dealer in railroad, river and manufactur· J. day evening,s. Advanced, Friday aDd Saturday ing property. . Room 301, The Beckman, 204 su~rior st'i Dentist, evenIDiS• Married couples, Wednesday., fortnlJht. Clevelana. O. Room 39, Nottinib'am Block, Next to Arcade !!:ast Iy. IlrPuplls received in all classes at any tIme Assemblies, first Friday in each month'. • Telephone 1844. Take elevator.· 89 EUCLID A VENUE. 20 TOWN TOPICS.

~ New Disb. short notice, at Oettinger's, 94 Euclid Ave. Miss 1. B. Black, of t he School of Art of Orders for the Holidays should be left early Western Reserve University, will be pleased A tall granger in a long, blue overcoat to assure prompt attention. to receive her former pupils and all interested and a soft hat very much on the back of his in art study or decorative work at her head, strolled up Superior street last Wednes­ studio, room 65, 4th floor, City Hall, after day, with both eyes wide open, and his Felony. " Jist knock me peanut stand over again, Dec. I. mouth considerably ajar. Presently, he --~- -- -- _.. young feller, and I'll have yez arrested." caught sight of Leon 1. Collver's sign and KERN'S RHEUMATIC CURE. sto·pped. Running his fingers through the "Arrested for what? You can't do noth· Mr. D. Williams, 61 Grant St., Cleveland, says: whiskers under his chin, he studied awhile in' to me for spillin' your peanuts. It was "I used,Kern's Rheumatic Cure for an attack or an accident. acute rheumatism,·and it cured Ille at once. I took on the inscription and then walked into the some of my bottle to a neighbor who could hardly office. "'S this an eatin' house?" he asked "Accident, eh? I'll show yez if it wur an walk with crutches, and it cured him. My wife has been a terrihle sufferer from Neuralgia, and nothing the clerk. "No, sir," was the answer, "this accident. I'll have yez sint up. Knockin' but this medicine ever hplped her." is where you Iiet your tickets." "That's all over a peanut stand is a penutentiary ofhnse. FOU SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. right," said the granger, "gimme a ticket D'ye see ?" for a good dinner." "But," commenced the clerk. "Oh, I've got the stuff," said the Wall paper, Spring style IIOW arriving at granger as he brought out a lat wallet. 170 Public Square. "Gimme the best meal you've got. iN say, PARK WALL PA'i'ER Co. I want some of that new dish you're a·ad· vertisin' so big. I don't come to town often, New store! New shoes! N. O. Stone & an' I kin stand the racket. I've heared so Co. will open their new shoe store Saturday, Dec. I.f, at 48 Euclie: avenue. much 0' these fancy French dishes, that my old palate is jist a hankerin' after 'em. Tell Try the Xavier Jouvin glove, it has the the kitchen folks to .>end me up a platter.full colors, the style, durability. Adapted to 0' them 'towers' an' I'll make 'em look long, medium and short fingers. Shaw, 93 & mighty sick." "But, sir," cried the clerk, 95 Euclid ave. "' this isn't an eating house." "'Taint eh?" yelled the stranger, "then what do you ad· See the black hosiery that is guaranteed t~ The Stohlmann Carpet Cleaning Works, vertise it fer? Look here." He drew the give satisfaction. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid 1.5 Seneca St., cor. Long St. Tel. 2138. clerk after him to the front door, and pointed ave. up at the sign of Cook's Tours. "There," he triumphantly said, "see that-Cooks Nicel Plate Holiday excursions. Inquire towers! Ifyou Cooks towers, I want some of of nearest agent. 'em. If you don't, take down your sign !" Train! on all roads run on Standard tinie which i& When the clerk at last explained to the The New King. 33 m mutes slower than Ball's citv ti~e. stranger that Cook's Tours had nothing to do "Pa, is he going to be president of the <-Daily; all other trains dailv except Sundav. with the restaurant business, the man from United States some day?" the country strolled meditatively away, with "Who's that, my boy? " The Nickel Plate. Arrive, Depart. his fingers very busy with his whiskers. " The gentleman I read so much about in· Fostoria Accommodation 10'.0 a m 5:U p. m. Ashtabula Local ~.:.. the newspapers-Mr. Al Johnson." Il tr I I.C)() p. m. 7:30 a. m. Ch. a 0 Express.····· 5: 16 p. m. 10:.5 a. m. "Oh, no, my child, you underestimate Icago Express 9:20 p. m. 6:30 a. m. The Park Wall Paper Co., 170 Public the gentleman. He is one of the leaders in E~clid Accommodation leaves 6:20 a. m. 5:05 p m Square, furnish estimates on all kinds of RIver. Bank" II 7.0 a. m. 1.0 p...m. the new base ball movement j that's the CIty Ticket Offices: 22. Bank St. 598 Pearl St interior decoration. reason you see so much about him in print. and Depot!. ,., See their new effects in plastic work. LEWIS WILLIA~S, B. F. HORNER, Pesident of the United States, indeed! Al Gen I Supt. Gen" Pass Ag't Headquarters for Lincrusta·Walton. All the Johnson is a bigger man than even Buck Cleveland, O. " novelties. Work strictly first class. No Ewing and John 1. Sullivan. fancy prices. Valley Railway. G. H. LYTTLE, Manager. . Depart. Corsets, new stock, just what you want. Arrive. VMall~y JunEction Mail.. "7:.0 a. m. <- 6:20 p. m. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid ave. anetta xpress u.15. a. m. 2:20 p. m. CIDCI'd&Cana over Express, ':'•.15p·m. *10:15 a. m. N. O. Stone & Co. will open their new ev anton Express 7"00 p. m. 8.loa. m. store in their own block, 48 Euclid avenue, The largest, the finest, the best and the Depot-South Water Slreet. Saturday, Dec. 14. cheapest shoe store will open for husiness Saturday, Dec. 14, at 48 Euclid avenue. N. Mount Vernon & Pan Handle Route. c. A. & C. Ry. Co. Arrive. Depart O. Stone & Co. IIF~er'" Akron, Col. & Cin: ...... 5·.OP· m. 8:loa. Dl.. Holiday Rates. Akron,.C & CN. Ight xpress 7' 8 The Cleveland Advertising Corps, a flour­ Akron. Col. & Z'ville Ex .. :00 a. m. .00 p. m. The Nickel Plate will sell tickets at reo Akron & Orrville Accom' 12:50 p. m. 1:05 p. m. ishing society made up of local theatrical . .. ..· 9·35 a. m. 3:25 p. m. duced rales between all stations commenc­ The 8 p. m. tram runs daily Ele ant P II employees, will give a ball on next Thurs. palace sleeping cars attached. All oth~r train~ dm.~n ing Monday, Dec. 23~, 1889, to Wednesday, except Sunday. . llJ.y d'ly evening, at Germania Hall. Jan. 1st, 1890. Inquire of nearest agent. Good returning on any train to aud includ. R&ilr~&d. Cheap Holiday rates via Nickel Plate. Oleveland & Pittsburgh .ing Jan. 3d, 1890. Arrive. Depart. Inquire of ·nearest agent. N ew York Express I2 50 p. m. 7 '5 a m New or xpress 6 .. .. 'AY k E 35 P m. I 05 P m Fine· initial" and monogram embroidery on All.Ianc.e ccommod'n .. R~veDna Accommod.n.. ·· 9 3i a. m. 3 25 p. I!I. handkerchiefs, • mufflers, etc" to order on Geese feathers cheap, 129 Wooqlanq ave. Night Ex ress .;~25a.m. 500p.m. p, 5 2 5 a. m. *11 10 p. m. TOWN TOPICS.

------_.------Are You Going to Correspond ~ ~~I~~~;:!=~:O~~:~:~~~~ requirements of polite society. Every dealer in the United States can supply you with the fine correspondence papers made exclusively by the Wlirn~G PAPER Co., of Holyoke, Mass. ~ USE NO OTHERS. $+ New York Offices, 150 & 152 Duane Street. DO NOT BUY A TYPEWRITER. rNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN AND TESTED Stains from Colored Hosiery. More than half of the fashionable women of New York THE SUN TYPEWRITER. have dyed feet. and If there Is allYthing III chemistry to re­ move the stocking stallll 110 olle hal hl'ard about It. 011 PRICE, the slab In the vapor baths It Is not unusual for the attend­ ant to spend about all 1I0ur with hot water, a ftl'sh-bru~h Twelve Dollars. and a cake of soap, scouring a woman's feet. These dames and damsels 11'111 lit In theirsheets givingand Il'ettlng what­ A Perfect Machine. ever Information they can 8S to the best possible means of removing the dJe without the derm. Scruhblng Is of little DURABLE, avail. I heard one lady ofluxUl·Y. whose ~dals were paInt­ COMPLETE, ed like artlftl'lalsnakes, say that she dldn t try to IICrub her RAPID. feet clean. Her plan was to dry them over a register until the ~ktll bel'ame ,'arched, anrl then brush away the epi­ If you think it is too cheap to be good. order .one dermis, and the dye went with it. sent·C. O. D., with privilege of examination, and if " All I ask," said a demure little woman, with the colors Fruity. not sati~fqctory, return it by merely paying express of squashed blueberries Oil her undprstandlngs, " Is that In Dry. charges both ways. case of an autopsy they WOII't talce oft' Illy stocklnll's." Smith & Angell's stockings never stain your feet, and are :',' Dry Special, theonly hose that do not t\lrn green, crock or fade. E' Brut. THE SUN TYPEWRITER CO., This firm also has a Darning Cotton of the same dye. No.3 t 9 Broadway, 80 yards of which will be sent postpaid on receipt of Entrance on Thomas Street. NEW YORK. six cents. SMITH & ANGELI., 22 Thomall Street, New York. Inquire first of any first·class ",/JU J'lWerclC, FOR FIFTY YEARS! Dry Goods dealer. 49 BROADS! N.Y· Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. "Was Miss Yellowleaf's portrait a good likeness /" For fiHy .ycflrs. has been used by mothers for their II It must have been; she refused to take it from the Children while Tcethin~. It Soothes the Child, Soft­ artist.'·-LIj·~. ens the Gum~, Allays all Pain, Cures Wind Colic. and JOHN'''R,i:''WO'OOBliRj;S Sealskin Garments ~ACIAL SOAP DUY OF THE MANUFACTURER. G. BICKELHAlJPT, -or ,ALLTH E NEWEST STYLES. A choice and extensive assortment in style, quality FOR THE SKIN AND SCALP. and prices, that cannot be beaten by any. THE ONLY SOA.P PREPA.RED BY A. DEB. KA.TOLOGI8T, Tiith a succeB8ful practice of over.O Yeare. This BOap hae no equal for the toilet or bath (Turkish i.:uffs, Eoas, Capes. Stoles, Soarfs, Caps, }Jath especially)\ is unexcelled for shaving, and the milder Gloves, GauDtle', s, Rugs, Robes forms ofskin ana scalp atlectioDB. Try it and be convinced. For sale by druggists or Bent by mail on receipt of price, 60 c~nh. Send lOc. Cor 1JI8.plllebook on allskin diseaees. and. Fur Trimmings. Pt tMtIl' Sk L; ht Wk Henry Siede Furrier aen ea Ie y- 19 or s, 13 W. 14th St. Sth 1ve. Ii. 4Sth St~ 243 & 245 w. 47th St., . NEW YORK. Broadway and 8th Ave., NEW YORK. Full line of Gents' Furs Ilnd Coats. Send for Illustrated CataloR'Ue. Establl.Bhed iO Years. Send for Catalogue. Fountain and Stylo.Pens Violet Orris A Good, Reliable Stylogral1htc Pen tor .1.00. Fountain Blended with BWEET Alpine R~s, a popular Sachet Pen, t2-00. Star Fount81n Pen,.Ulland upwards. . for Dresses, made ofALPINE flowers (used by Worth) from Root, Blossom and R08Eleayes by new proceSl, Belt Writing Pen Ev~r Oft'ered to the Publio daintv, delicate and ltuting (will notsiftlikepowder), AT A PRICE WITHIN THE RJl:ACH OJ' AI.L. .. will perfume Qlov••, Lln.n and 8tatlon.rl' Unequaled for BUllnel1 orGenerlll Wrhlnl. Imported for Ohristie '" 00,,24 W, 23d Bt. N,Y, Oity. THE INDEPEN'DENT:PEN II aU Kt. GOLD "mpl.IOo. La..e Bach.t 280. J,{lb. 80. tl. PEN tined with a Feuntalu or Reller­ ' Amoveable"'l~ dress Sachet tyd.lon~. voir Holder, aud combine. au Ink­ LADIES I (or Street or Eve g ware. fr.oo. By maJl. Itand ana Gold Peo 10 One, Bend tor DeBcr1ptlve CIrcular. A·'I'rtal Ordtlr Soliclted. AGENTS WANTED. J. V. ULRICH & CO.. CO€. & LV , 108 Liberty Street, New York. RY You can IJve at home and make more money at /..CO \)1lS. Fo1C1'.1!J~ 5 GOLD work for us than at anytblng eIse In.the wo,ld. ~V ~ ~ ~ Either sexA: all ages. ('Al~tlil outftt rRK& TerDJ8 .. flom 0'\1 'A_ ~~ ~ JOHN H. WOODBlTBY'8 increaelng practice hae roh jQcJ1lUed or reo tion of his l ....Paae book on "DiBftlniremen+s and Imper. '* Jill' k obtlltlull , ~ duced. Complexionl beauWled. The fectlons of the Skin and DiBeBBes ot die Balr and Scalp, and ~... 0/ or ~'t; Form developed; Hair, -Brows and Their Treatment," which he maiIB to any addre. on rece pt ,.. II",P.,./M_.0"""'" ~ La~be8 cnIol)!d and ~,*orecl. Inter· ot 10 _nt.. ThIB enlightens yoo on the SUbject of Derma· estlng Book (~ent.lleIled),~....e. tology and enables vou to understand your im~rfectton. If ~'-Ollcl 1\1.·\ liltant )'ou can be succe88fUlly treated by mall Consultation . V..I.ro,.I. W.4'tb.t.. N. Y. Jl) Vlty. Mention papw. Cree at omce or by letter. send lOr 1...paare book. til" TOWN TOPICS. ------

~ ..... ~ ~~.: ~. ::~': '~ ..•. ~...... -" ...... -,'- ~ ,,': ...-:....

- ~ ':.-' "i;': ~.::z,'-e~ .. ~_ '"' . efore they gor S~olfo. t'treR'proyerb l'b.n:'The pan 55.YS to ~he par. Keep off oryoull5mu~ch me: If your grocer sends you anything in place of SAPOLIO, send it back and insist upon having just what you ordered. SAPOLIO always gives satisfaction. On floors, tables and painted work it acts like a charm. For scouring pots, pans and metals it has no equal. Everything shil1es after it, and even the children delight in using it in their attempts to help around the house. ENOCH MOBGAlfS SONS CO., NEW YOBlt.

CALICRAPH New ParksorRoads PARIS EXPOSITION I HICHEST AWARDU ----~COLD MEDAL----- SECURED BY THE CALl8RAPH. FOR SALE.

100,000 SIX THOUSAND Daily Users. ~ot~1 • Bartl]oldi. Silver-Leaved· Maples, Broadway and 23d Street

()IAD1SON SQUARE), Beautifully straight trees, from one inch to

New York City. one and one-quarter inches in diameter,

--tl- EUROPEAN PLAN. suitable for setting out in new parks, roads GREATEST SPEED ON' RECORD II or lawns, will be sold on very reasonable T. W. Geborlle wrote 179 wol'd8 III olle terms. Full particulars will be furnished ~Ie mia_ie, _lUI G. A. Jlclld4e wrote 1lI9 WO~I III _ 11••le mIIl_te, BUacf/oIdeII. Oil the eallBraph. on application, Address THE CHAMPION MACHINE OF THE WORLD. THE AMERICAN WRITING MACHINE CO., HARTFORD, CONN. E. A. IDE, BRANCH OFFICES :-237 Broadwar. N. l.; 14 W. 4th Street, Clncliinltl. 0.; 1003 Arch Street, PlaUadelpilla. M\lnrOe Co., N. Y. B 'UlnccRl'Q 'Review of $ociet\?t art an~ 1tter~ture.

VOL. V, 1)LCE\ll\Ll\ 21, I ;

-,j \-_.,. ('"""', \ 1'".... I 'I - ') { I ) \I .. \I i\.·~/ \.J \ , ., ' "1. ., ... \

.' /

/ ,,'.~>.;

\ j, '... ,~ ~ ,- ,. "('.f"

.~

./ tOWN TOPICS. e$(je~UNTliE~ SONS ...... FUR§., ~eal s~I\jacl\ets~wl"ap.sallddoaks,

shoulder capes9 pelerines,mulfs.etc. ifl-ctloi~e·desi911s,at moderate pricej~ 1810 FlFTM AVEN{J.~ No1l:

-----_._------_._-_._.------NEW YORK SECURITY AND TRUST CO., L.bn WALL STREET.. CAPrl'AJ" ~I ,000,000, STJRl")]~US, $.")00,000. CIJARLY.:S s. FAIRnIILD. ]'rcsiJcnt. \VJ\1. 1.. STP()~(;, 2d. Yicc.Presid.ent. Wli. H..APPLETl)~, 1St Vicc-hesidcnt. JOHN L. LAMSON, Secrt·tal.r. This Company is authorizcd to act as .Executor, Trustee, AJmillistr:llor, Guardian, Agent ano I'.ccci\"er. IS:l legal depository for Court all I Trust Funds, T:lkl~S the clllin~ charge of rC;l]-:

FOUR NIGHTS. Friday and Saturday NiQ"hts and Commencing Monday, December 23, Grand Saturday Matinee, Holiday Attraction, The Society Event of the Season, --Hoyt's-- SALVINI A HOLE IN • Repertory: Some of UN A l1vantag-eM: • THE GROUND. Friday, THE GLADIATOR. Sill/plicity of COllstn/ctioll. Saturday Matinee, A ClIILD OF NAPLES. EaS/' and Facility of Halldlillg. COII/piete Combuslioll. X-MAS MATINEE WEDNESDAY. Saturday, OTHELLO. Entire abSl!1/.ce of Smoke or SII/ell. Perferl Clr.anlinf'ss. Economy of Fue/. Absolute Safety from Fire alld Explosioll. No stop.cock, no valve to get out ofjoint, no clean­ ing of burner, waste of fuel impossible, automatic feed, instant ignition without puffing or spUlterin¥. smokele's. odorleS', durable and cheap-the best III SEATS ON SALE MONDAY, DECEMBER 23. the market. MANUFACTURED BY

Next Week-Lyceum The:l1er Co. in "The Wife." THE ATLAS OIL STOVE CO., E. E BILLOW &I CO • Sole Agents '68 Public Sq. PERA HOUSE. H. R. JACOB.S' THEAl'RE. O ~hristrnas Week. The New York Melodramatic Success, GRAND CHRISTMAS WEEK ATTRACTION. Snook and Collier's Great Military Drama, The Great Metropolis! \Villl itN F:xdtillR' Wreck S('ene and H"'N('lIf~ 1>)' Ullitetl Sta(f'N Life THE BLUE AND THE GRAY Sln'in: Cr. w. As Produced at Niblo's 'Theatre, Nevv York. NOTICE- Every child will receive a Handsome Holiddv GIft at the I hristmas Matinee. The original New York company and scenic effects. Special engagement of Company F, Fifth Regiment, Reserved ,eat', children, 50C ; g~lIery, ?sc. who will appear in all the military scenes. Next week-Pr mrose & West's Minstrels. MATINEES, TUESDAY, SATURDAY AND WEDNESDAY "CHRISTMAS," New Years' week-The Vaidis Sisters' Specialty Co.

One week, commencing Dec. 23. Extra Matinee HOLIDAY GOODS. Christmas Day. They are worthy ofyour attention as regards novelties and prices. The Beautiful American Romance by FANCY C0008-&n exttnslve line that will interest you. MILLINERY COOOS-Everything marked down FRED DARCY, Ilr'OPEN SATURDAY EVENINGS.~ -Entitled- SHA'W"S SS and S6 Euclid Avenue. HE BEST educalton is always the cheapest. An DEVIl'S *MINE, education is something to be used a Iiletime, and Presented by a STRONG CAST of Dramatic shouldT be ot first quality. THE BEST is non~ too ¥ood and Specialty Artists. for anybody. You should not allow a few dollars' dIffer­ Next week-Dan Mason in "A Clea.l Sweep." ence in cost to decide the question, or attend an inferior school for any reason There is nO,t the least doubt about which is the LARGEST and BEST in Ohio. The Spencerian Business College, of Cleveland, was established WHAT DO YOU THINK? in 1848. By regular purchase and tran.fer it embraces six business schools, including the college of Bryant, Spencer Lusk & Stratton (the FIR::'T of the celebrated Bryant & Stratton colleges, established in 1852.) It pays 'to attend the best. Day and eveninl{ sessions. 422 Superior St. SPENCER, FELTON & LOOMIS, Proprietors. MULDOON'S PICNIC Played at Drury's Museum CHRISTltlAS ~nlil ~~fdJrt. WEEK. commencing Monday Dec. 23, by ~eut'd)e ~ud) :: ~4 ..l)lunll, 42 ~u"Ue eqU4fe. IDlein grof3c~ Eoger beutfd)cr miid)cr unb .8eitf~riftell l)otte beftens em; Gannon Bros. and Full Company. ,,~R3at,1/ pfo()(cn: ;,IDlobeuweIt," "Uebet2anb unb 9Jleer," ,,01arteu: Submarine iron boat, sails under the surface laube," ,.~R~eim," "~,,m ifefe 311m 9Jleer" tuerben aufmefteUultg ~rompj of the water as well as on. ilt~ .pau~ gdicfcrt.· ~()otogrop~ie:Wlbums in reid)er 2hl~ltJol)L ADlllJ~SION ONLY 10 CENTS•. 2 TOWN TOPICS. CLEVELAND Buys the Most! Sells the Most! THF. LARGEST Buys the Cheapest! Sells the Cheapest! ~~ RETAIL CLOTHING,

HATS AND FURISHINGS DEALER ]. L. HUDSON. Now is the Time to Subscribe, IN ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION, ­ $2.00 Stores at Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo, St. Paul, St. Louis, THE WORLD. SIX MONTHS, 1.00 .Toledo, Sandusky, Grand Rapids, Lowell.

Deli,Je,td ill ("i'I!I)' portiolt (If ,II( city by the T he Gift You Give! first IIIOYllill!{'s mail f7'fry Saturday.

That's the topic we talk on to-day We've got Fine Silk Umbrellas The Clevelanu TOWN TOPICS is found at every news-stan J in Cleveland, and is sold on all the trains. from $I. 99 to $ IS. Or if you. wish canes from $ I to $5· Or why not get It is regularly sold in the following towns at its news agencies: Silk Handkerchiefs at from 25 cents to $2.50, or Mufflers at So cents to Chagrin F'ls, Medina, Hudson, Akron, Garrettsv'le, Salem, $5? How would you like Kid Gloves at from $1 to $2? But the best of Notttngham, Glenville, Warren, all for gentlemen are Smoking or House Jackets from $5 up. But this isn't Amherst, Bluffton, Carrollton, Bryan, Grafton, Greenville, half of what we have, and a ca11 is sure to help out any don't· know-what-to- Dunkirk, Forest, Carthage, gIve visitor. Batavia, Geneva, Elmore, Defiance, Galion, Dennison, Hubbara, Elyria, Sandnsky, Fayette, Belleville, Lebanon, EXCELSIOR. Bowling Green, Youngstown. Remit by P. O. money order or check, payable to ROSENBERG & ROSE, Publishers aud Proprietors. .Lithograph Building, corner Wood and 51. Clair Sts. Telephone 852. STOCKS AND BONDS. I OFFER FOR SALE: 100 Shares Republic Iron Co. 800-808 Superior St., 300 " Aurora Iron Co. 500 " Cleveland Iron Co. 41 " Woodland Ave. Street R. R. Co. MACKINTOSH GARMENTS So " Brush Light & Power Co. For Gentlemen and Ladies-the finest line ever shown in Cleveland. Also a 100 " Brush Electric Co. complete line of And many other first class securities. Have just received a large stock of I WISH TO PURCHASE: SO Shares Savings& Trust Co. ~inte:r Gocds., IS " Cleveland National Bank. Rubber Boots and Shoes, Hat Covers, Buggy Aprons, Door Mats,etc., and a choice selection of Toys. So " State National Bank. So " Euc·lid Ave. Nalional Bank. 1,000" Michigan Gold Co. Ohio Rubber Company. 1,000" Gogebic Iron Syndicate. And most of the first class stocks on the market. 'c Use THE NATHAN IMPORTING Co. recommend For Domestl their famous foreign-bottled table clarets, at H. C. DEMING, Stocks and Bonds. very reasonable prices. A pure article is guaranteed. A telephone 0 Telephone 1897. 220 BANK ST. mail order will meet prompt attention and instant delivery. NATHAN INPORTING CO.• CHOICE BON-BONS. I72 Bank Street. -THE- CONGER & COLLINGS MANTEL CO. FINEST - CANDIES, Artistic Mantels, Tiles and Grates, Fine Gas Fixtures and Electroliers, Suitable for Christmas Gifts, at Fire·Place furniture, in Brass and Iron, Lamps in Brass, Silver and Iron, and shades suitable. Specialties in our line continually being added. B17-BBS EUCLID AVENUE. c. H. COLLINGS. C. H. PRlTCHAkD. TOWN TOP'Ies. 3

CREETYNCE.

yE Yule Logge Blazinge onne ye Hearthe Soc Lett ye Brimminge Bowl goe Rounde Sendes Forthe A Mightie Glowinge, Wth Musick & wth Laughter, &. Hie and Lowe ye Mistletoe Til1 Frolick Glce )'t Wareth Free, rnne Bravest Greene is Shewinge , Shaykes everie Sturdie Rafter; Whyle onne ye Boarde ye Puddinge Smokes, & here's A Health toe AEe we Love, Al1e Pranked wth Shyninge Hol1y, A Health toe Al1e )'t Love us, & Glasses Clin~e toe Bid us Drinke & Joie Betyde, as Farre and Wyde Toe Xmas Mirthe & Fol1)'. As )'S Blue Skie Above us ! M.E.W. TO\i\TN TOPICS. 4 dined to vote against the Mills bill, shall stride down to the Press office and give Mr. Paine a les;;on on tariff reform; or when, moved by compassion, he shall even contribute to the society columns of TOWN TOPIcs! But newspapers are proverbIally ungrateful, and so the Plain Dealer calls Mr. Foran a sore head and constitutional kicker, who, " if" he reach heaven, will grumble because his halo doesn't fit. What an idea! "If!" A Weekly Review of Society, Art and Literature. Lithograph Building, cor. St. Clair & Wood streets, Telephone. 8j2. Entered at the Post·Office at Cleveland, 0., as Second Class matter. VEN running an elevator is an art, and a person, in order to ROSENBERG & ROSE. Puhlishers and Proprietors. E be successlul in that business, must know his passengers and their peculiarities as a ,merchant knows his customers. One day l l HE funniest thing of this humor· last week, a man entered the Blackstone block elevator and cas . ' tl~rou~~ tick~t T ous age is the" call" made by ally remarked to the operator, "I haven't a thIS eighteen Clevelanders for a meeting morning, I want to get off at Berea." "All rtght, replled t.he to protest against the selection of elevator man, and without asking any more questions, he let hl\\l Calvin $ nrice to succeed lIon. II. off on the first floor. H. Payne in the U. S. Senate. The :.)ROFESSOR SEYMOUR, Ll .. D., docent of Greek ~nd list of these famous eightet::n com· I Latin at Adelbert college, is the gre'ltest Shakespeartan prises as heterogeneous a mixture cf scholar and enthusiast in the city, and probably one of the best in· elements as it is well possible to formed \\len in this country on the works of the Bard of Avon. imagine, and in it are found states' While he is not a regular attendant of theatrical entertainments, _ ~ men, lawyers, boodlers and \- -~? he never misses a Shakespearian production, and his scholarly face, ~.- -.... , /?:;:t;.. merchants. It is headed surmounted by long, gray hair, can always be seen in the same ~ , -:.- >--:;:~ hy the right honorable Mar· ~ spot in the theatre when a play by Shake~peare is on ~he b01d~. -=-- Amhro~e' .. .- tin Foran, 111 hIs For the past twenty years, Professor Seymour ha~ delivered lec~' I.·es old time capacily as Con· and Impromptu talks on hiS favorite theme, and the font of hIS 1Il­ ~ervator of the Puri ty of formation seems inexhaustible. Party Pulitics. Mr. roran has been ill the purity busi· UT like many other great s:holars w}~o bec~me enthusiasts on ness so long that the mere one subject, Professor Seymour IS Inclined to be absent­ mention of his connecti~n with the opposition will suffice to strike B minded, and many good stories are told about him. One day the lerror 10 Mr. Brice's heart. It does seem lJre umptuous in so un· professor ancl his wife were invited to a reception, and in the even· known and oh~cure a man as Calvin $ Brice to aspire to the sen· ing Mrs. Seymour asked her hushand if he hadn't bt::ller prepare. atorship without tirst obtaining Mr. Foran's written consent and "Yes, ye,;," said he, "I shall go up stairs and dress." Mrs. Sey­ that of Mr. Foran's supporters-the H9n. Jeff. M. Stewart, Law· mOtH made her toilet, sat down and waited for her husband; but student J. E. Farrell and Captain Charles Missal'. When Mr. he failed to comt. Gelling tii'ed of waiting, she went np stairs, and Brice makes another campaign, he will know better than to at· her astonishment can well be imagined when she saw him stretched tempt buying up the legislature without Mr. Foran's advice. out at fnll length on his bed, soundly sleeping. After some effort, she succeeded in awakening and reminding him that she had asked UT what shall be s1.id oi gentlemen like Blandin, Kline~ Tobie him to dress for the reception. "Oh, ye~, so you did, so you did," and Ranney-ol men like Tom Johnson and A. P. Winslow, B he replied and he got up and dressed. It seems that while dis· who, whlle respon,ible for Campbell's election (to whose campaign robing to put on his reception suit, hie had forgotten all about it they lent respectability), now decline to shoulder the consequences and went to bed, Imagining that that .wa. his reason for going up of their own act? It was as well known before the election as it stair,. is now that the slate was-Campbell for Governor j Brice for Sen. ator; Whitney for President j yet all these gentlemEn assisted N another occasion, tile professor invited a lady friend into in what must eventually prove a gIgantic funeral of Democracy. O his library to show her a certain work he wa' proud of, and So, having first against their own conviction assisted in the first which he wanted her to rea'\. While looking into the case for the step on the programme, they have now formed un alliance with the book, in rjuestinn, l1e was snddenly attracteduy another work, and Conservator of the Purity of Party Politics, and under the brilliant taking it out, he sat (~own and read for a full hour without paying leadership of the Rt. Hon. Martin Ambrose Foran will comuat the any more allention to the lady. The lady became slightly em· second step in the combination. i\1r. Brice may as well quit. barra~sed in the meantiml", and she also picked up a book from the Mr. Foran hath said it, and in Mr. Foran's case, it takes a very table and read to pass the time away. Finally, at the expiration large amount of argument to convince him to the contrary. of an hour, the professor looked up from his book and, seeing the lady, the situation flashed upon his mind, when, of course, he was ND then, having fully cc,nserved the purity of party politics, profuse in his apologies. A the Rt. Hon. Martin Ambrose Foran enters the field of journalism, and-as appears in Wednesday's Plain Dealer, kindly TIl E funniest story that is being told of the professor's ausent. instructs that organ of Democracy as 10 its duties in the premises. mindednes is based on his efforts to rid his hou e of rats, What a merry, merry time we'll all have when Mr. Foran, shaking with which his cellar was at one time troubled. He procured a his oily ringlets with righteous indignation, shall descant in the regulation trap, baited it with cheese in the regular orthodox style, Leader office upon the inroads upon American in titutions by the and took it down the cellar. Then h.e placed a lighted candle near Church of Rome, while Mr. Covert sits at his feet and reverently the trap, and feeling atisfiecl that all was well, he went up stairs Ii tens; wh~n ~he great conservator, who, as a protectionist, de· again and was (jon engrossed in a volume of his beloved Shake- 'J TOWN TOPICS. 5 speare. Mrs. Seymour, noticing the light down the cellar, asked occupied a cottage with her parents at the foot of Seneca street, her husband for the reason. "Why," said he, "that's all right overlooking thc blue waters of Lake Erie, long before Lake View and proper, I've placed a lighted candle near the trap." "Why Park was a reality. and when that now pretty spot was known as did yOIl do that?" asked the astonished wife. "So that the rats Lover's Hill. One authority on ages of theatrical people gives, can see it," was the response. Miss Detchon's age at exactly thirty.

LTHOUGH the new wing to be used as a reception hall of DITOR-IN.CHIEF J. H. A. BONE, of the Plain Dtaltr, is A the Union Club is scarcely finished, it is again refJorted that E the liveliest man of any person of his years in the State. He some of the members are dissatisfied with the location, and are in is as swift on his ieet as an antelope, never takes an elevator, and favor of building an elegant new club house further up town. while some of the young reporters on the Plai,z Dtaltr are tired Others insist that the present location cannot be improved upon, and out cll!reath upon reaching the top flight of the building, Mr. owing to its convenience for the members who do husiness down Hone is as unconcerned about it as though he had come up in a town, and threaten to secede in case a serious attempt is lIIade to halloon. He delights in long walks, and has often been known to move up town. All this, however, is merely rumor, and any­ to heat an electric motor in a race down town from the East End. thing like serbus dissatis'action CanlhJt Le traced to a source Ill' detests formality, and can easily he approached by the men which may he called reliable. under hin!, is fond of telling a good story and listening to one. He is a hearty laugher, and while engaged in that pleasant pastime, PEAKING ~f th: Union Cluh,the Ursuline Convent, which is ad­ Sll little indulgedin by the average human being, he displays a row S~ pcent to II, will he known only as a matter of tradition to of almost perfect white teeth. lIe is tall and slight, his hair is the next generation of·C1evel.lI1ders. The convent, when first built, gray, and his face smooth. Ilis features are classic and intellectual, was regarded as being up town in the residence portion of the his mouth is firm, and his nose 01 the Romanesque style ofstructure•. city; Ullt now it is in the very he,lrt of the husiness center, and alto­ gether too public for an instilution of that character. It was ' MAN with a positive opinion, and who is never afraid to ex-Mayor Bahc()ck's pet schemes t,) secure the location for a City A express it, no matter if it hits his dearest friend or his bil_ Hall, and Bishop Gilmour would not be averse to selling it, pro­ terest enemy, is attorney 1.. 1\. Russell. lIe couches his terms of vided enough could he realized from the sale to blly a lot and build alJlISe in the severest and most original language, and his express­ a magnificent new convent further up town. ions 01 friendship and admiration are as enthusiastic as those or hatred are bitter and sarcastic. Mr. Russell is a man ofmiddle age, HI LE it is g~nerally kno~vn .that Begg<, one of the men and as an advocate is une of the best in town to convince a jury. W, who was tried for the Cromn murder, used to IJe a sort of lIe is of medium height, neither of slight nor of heavy build, wears a shyster lawyer in Cleveland, few people are aW,lre of the fact chin whiskers and a mustache, and his light brown'hair is just that early in the '70's he was a grocer's clerk herel, and an employe heginning to show traces of silver. of W. P. Southworth & Co. neg-gs used 10 roll sugar barrels about the cellar and occasionally wait 11lJl)n customers. It was in ' US KAI-IN, the Kiralfys' right-hand bower for many years, that store where his fiery oratoric:t! powers were first developed, ( J tells allot her hitherto unpublished story of the brothers, and during odd moments when there was a lull in the trade he illustrative uf their extreme care and fear of losing money. When was wont to address a gatherill~ of his fellow empinyes on politics. "Around the World in Eighty Days" was first brought out by One fine day during some local election he \~as invited hy the the Kiralfys with a live elep1>tlnt arl)ong the other effects, manager Democratic central committee tu make a stump speech, and that Gilmore, of Niblo's Garden, the two IJ1'others and Kahn sat in the was Beggs' first taste of genuine politics. From that day on the auditorium watching a dress rehearsal. Imre was so full

THE RECONCILIATION. Adam kiss Eve, and did she understand what he was attempting. or did she fancy he was about to eat her? HE; A very strange, a decidedly uncouth proceeding, and yet how , you passed me by nor nodded e'en, my sweet, very natural and how very common! And ever since that day I've moped and pined. What divers manners of kiss have been invented since that Adam and Eve inauguration. Theirs would be the kiss of ten­ SHE: der and assured conjugal devotion; well, that is very nice and Ah, lover mine, when on the bustling street, very satisfying to the feeling, but then there is the timid experi­ I saw thee not! Thou knowest Love is blind. mental kiss of the newly declared lover and the famt responsive Jolm Kendrick Bangs. kiss of the gentle beloved, and there is the mad burning kiss of passion, and the quivering kiss of separation when loving hearts WHAT IS A KISS? arc rent assunder, ._k'~.~.~~~~.. ~ , ;: d there is the cold 1/...... · _"":::"-"':3""i!,':':, " '\ :1'; H, who can tell? Surely if anything in the world" goes ~~::s~~ t:)~ \l:l~~~~ -'-r;J1!~ l~;~Ji 1~·~f.1..;' A without saying" it is a kiss, and the more one says the farther one seems removed from the true comprehension of the less lips IIpon an ,~""'?~~-j~5~~: Ir~~rf; idea. icy brow-lhe kiss ,/', "" ~ ,-- ,:1\\\11 1 Ii:!" \~ I :" Viewed in the calm light of reason, a kiss is rather an alJsurd, of death that all of -''::',~,.i'~~ . J ,I,(~,'! \ liS ~ ,1 ,1 ) rather a disagreeable, certainly a very extraordinary proceeding. have at so m e ;Ji.lfir u ,I " J ?: J" 1 lil'l"l'" l, Two people set their mouths against each other, contract and timefeltthOUghOUr~~." , '/1 1,/,1,.. " - 'I';''I~I'!', I!' (I i,li,'1 (\ I press the lips together, and emit a sound varying from the ex­ heart's cOle. Then >- I III~ II plosion of a toy pistol to a faint sibilation or a gentle concussion. tlll:re is the tender ' 1(111\ ,/\\;,!j,i, (, and emotionless \~'III'I'11 ,J \\Thy, no\\', should anyone have hit upon this strange perform­ ~-I' U4-11 ance as an expression of affection? To whom did the operation kiss of friendship -_:-__~ first suggest itself? Was it an unborn instinct of humanity, like and loving kinship, eating or working at one's rel1ection in "mirrored pools"? Did and the light touch of ceremony, as in j; French fashion, we li "I fainlly hrush the U checks of our dear five hundred ac­ ,I' quaintances, and there is the enforced kiss of relation,ship that is not loving, or of the husband and wife who still keep up the form from which the life has fled; and there is the kiss of loving .1.01~, 'v/atll' reverence for the WHAT IS THE YOUNG GIRL DOI~G? hand of thc mon­ S",,: IS ME.-\SURI\''' THE INTENSITY OF TilE arch, or the priest, YOll"" MAN'S 1'1\5S101oI, or thc holy reiic or WHAT DOES IT A~IOU!\T TO' tomb, and there are CIRCUMFERENCE, 47 Ji'\CHES. PIWBABLY grades and shades ABOUT SIX DOLLARS. of all these, almost innumerahlc, anti yet after all therc is but one kiss worth the talking about, and that is the kiss of love, pure and simple and mutual: the kiss which clings alltltrembles anti throbs with de­ light, and yet is too ncar heavcn to know the stain of earth; the kiss in which the 'soul swoons and yet resembles God; the kiss -=- ---=--=--, that one would die in giving, and can give to only one; the kiss that once freely givcn binds two souls forever in one-no matter what" chances anti changes" time may bring. The indescribable and yet the universal delight of love is as sweet to-day as it c\'er was in Eden, MORAL I;.JSTRL'CTlU;.J.

FATHER: BOBBY, YOUR MOTHER INFORMS ME THAT YOU TOLIl A FALSEHOOD rO-DAY. BOBBY (pmitmtly).· Y-E-E-S, SIR. FATHER: WELL, I SHALL HAVE T(!) PUl"ISII YOU; I AM NOW GOING DOWN TO SANTA CLAFS' STORE, AND I SHALL TELL HI1II NOT TO BRING YOU ANYTHIl"G CIIRISTMAS. TOWN TOPICS. 7 THE MAN THAT CHRISTMAS DOESN'T REACH.

~ the merry Christmas morn, He's the man with heaps of wealth, O When the youngest toots his horn Though with rather rocky health, That Santa brought while baby was at Who hasn't got a pleasure left to try;. And Orlando beats his drum, [rcst; But it comes about some way, While Josephus pounds his thumb That on blessed Christmas day, With the hammer from his There's a something that his ncw wealth tool won't chest. buy.

And you try your dressing gown, He's a man about the town, Which will nced some cutting down, And he'll wander up and down, As YOllr wife cut the pattern out by And be lonely wherever he may be; While she we've just referred to, [guess; He will vote the day a bore, Is very plainly heard to And be glad there aren't mure, Be in rapture over For the joy of Christmas her he nl'w can't d reS5. see.

4 aren'~ THE OYSTER' WELL, I N~VER THOUGHT Whilc you're all 50 very gay, Though your pleasures grand, On that jolly holitlay, There are men on every hand, I WOULI> DE SO EASILY TAKEN IN. There'll be one man who can't help Who will envy you your happiness, [feeling blue; Will rememLer with a sigh, [and each SO POETIC. Though vowing that he's happy Merry Christmas times gone by- And doesn't rare a rap, he He's the fellow that the Will in Slcret wish that day II P. I\I. hc don't HE: How beautiful the SllOW is! The were reach. S falling flakes seem almost like angels' you. Charles /v-ewloll Hood. feathers. 7 A. 1\1. HE: Say, darling, come out and help shm'el off those angels' feathers, will yOll ~

R. TODD; Iy dear, Mr. Pringle died M this morning. MRS. TODD: 0, how fortunate! MR. TODD (shocked): Fortunate? MRS. TODD: Mrs. Pringle looks just heavenly in black. r :C ~

AN CUSTOMER: I WOULD LIKE TO GET TH~ CONTRACT TO SUPPLY YOU WITH YOUR / BEEF. I COULD FURNISH YOU WITH AN ARTICLE ~HAT WOULD BE MUCH MORE SATIS- FACTORY THAN THIS. THE MASCULINE CHATELAINE. LANDLORD: WHOM DO YOU RF.PRESE~T? A VERY GOOD THING FOR A X-MAS GIFT. CUSTOMER: TH& TUFF & STRETCH RUBBER COMPANY. 8 TOWN TOPICS. Wentworth, and Mr. Clayton H. Foote, of the Fisher'& Wilson Lumber Co, were married on Wednesday evening, at the home of the bride's parents, 95 Prospect street. The Rev. H. Brotherton, p:lstor of Trinity Baptist' church, performed the ceremony. ' Mrs. J~hn Cary, of Euclfd avenue, gave a dancing party in the Gattling gun armory, Thursday evening. Mrs. C. T. Stanley left for California on Wednesday. a~d LTHOUGH the Mr. J. A. Mansfield family are at Lake Como, Florida. subject is worn The lull in society circles may be accounted for by the approach A (If the Christmas holidays. People are too busy buying presents threadbare, it is in ~anta order once more to lay and preparing material for Claus to pay much attention to stress upon 'he fact receptions, balls and parties. that anonymous com· Mrs. George Hoyt gave a dancining party for Miss Hoyt on munications must invariably Wednesday night. find their way into the waste­ Mrs. Henry F. Clark and Miss Clark will give a dancing party basket, whether relating to at the Stillman, on Friday" January 3. social events or otherwise. A Mr. and Mrs. C. E. Gowen, of No. lSI Huntington street, have notice to the effect that Mrs. issued cards for a german for Thursday, January 2. Blank, of Dash avenue gave a Col. William Edwards gave a lu'ncheon at the Roadside club, at luncheon isn't worth the paper 3 P. M., Thursday, for the Bostonians and a few residenters. it's written on,' unless accompanied by the name of the writer as a Covers were laid for twenty-one. guarantee of good faith.' It may be that someone, entertaining a grudge against Mrs. Blank, might send such' a note to this office CHRONIQUE. with the hope of having it published and thus embarass the lady with explanations to her friends who, not having been invited to A semaine de~niere vo~l~nt assister a une represent~tion t~ei­ th~ mythical luncheon, would naturally' feel piqued. And, since L trale nons fumes oblIges d'abandonner notre proJet, cal en the subject of anonymous letters is on the tapis, it may as well be entrant dans Ie thciltre, nous vimes en grands caracteres que tous understood that this paper will not serve the interests of scandal· les fauleuils etaient pris "Standing room only"; notre sante etant mongers, and declines to be a party to the unsavory morsels that trop delicate pour rester debont pendant trois heures, nous quittames are sought to be published by people who seem to have liltle to la maison du spectacle. En prenant Ie tramway nous fftmes bien do but defame their every-day associates. surpris d'apercevoir qne bien des personnes, avaient partage notre The first of the series of rose balls was held Tuesday evening, at sort, ce qni nons consola beallconp. Nous ecoul:lmes it la suivante the residence of Mrs. John Tod on Prospect street. The rooms conversation: were tastily and elegantly ornamented, the rose colored decorations Quelle ville des Etats·Unis aura la Grande Exposition interna· predominating. The hostess was assisted III receiving by Mr. Dan tionale. Les habitants de l'ouest tout en favorisant Chicago ne P. Eells. More than two hundred subscribers were in aLlendance. murmuront pas si New York rem portera la victoire j mais nons "Colonel John Hay," says a Washington paper, "left last week devons aussi avail' une Exposition ici a Cleveland, dit mon inter· for Cleveland, where his family has been detained by the illness of locuteur, une foire annnelle! Quels grands avantages pour les' the children's governess. Mrs. Hay is greatly attached to the habitants ne notre ville-une Grande Foire aux bords du lac Erie! young lady, and unless she re,covers her health, will not come to Nos boutiquiers, nos hoteliers, n'oublions pas nos rcdacteurs­ Washington this season." queUes bonnes chances les allendraient; une foire ferait bien The many friends and admirers of Miss Katharine Foote will be marcher les affaires. II n'y a pas a dire Cleveland deviendra delighted to know that she will make her debut in society this bientOt une importante ville commerciale. Qui ne saura admirer Winter. She is the daughter d Colonel M. S. Foote, of Washing­ les arcades qu'on constrnit en ce moment, et bien d'autres bitiments. ton, and neice of Judge R. P. Ranney, or this city. "Miss Foote Continuous e f nos ciloyens se couvriront de gloire. will be among the most faSCInating belles of the season," says the MACCHIAVELLI. Washington Capital. "She is strikingly beautirul, being' tall and graceful, with lovely, large, dark eyes, rich bronze hair, a delicate OMMODORE GEORGE W. GARDNER, since his accident pink·and·white skin, and the most exquisite classical features. In C at a political ball, has not been himself, and is slill walking addition to her rare beauty, she is very accomplished, being a· with a cane. He is of medium height, and has a race which por­ brilliant musician and remarkably fine linguist, and has the sweet· trays patience and a kindly disposition. His beard is showing est and most winning manners, which will insure her popularity." streaks of gray, and his upper lip is smooth. He never appears in Mrs. P. J. Diemer, of Case avenue, assisted by her niece, Miss any headgear b~t a black slouch hat, and next to discllssing reo Heisel, a charming young debutaute from Chicago, gave a recep' form and city improvements, he would sooner talk about canoes tion to their many friends Tuesday afternoon, from 3 to 6. and yachts than anything else. Like his predecessors, Babcock Cards are out for thp. marriage of Mr. Milo Lockwood, son of and Farley, he keeps open house in the mayor's office, and if a C. B. Lockwood, ,)f this city, to M iss Fannie Pollard, of Brooklyn, caller wishes to see him, the formality of an announcement is N. Y. The date is January 2, and the wedding will take place in unnecessary. one of the most fashionable churches of the city of churches. The .Algonquin Club gave another dancing party on Friday even· Na burst uf con fidence, Mayor's Clerk. McNairY confessed,th e ing. Thll members are hopefully looking forward to the time I other day, that he inlends to adopt the stage as a profession when they will own their own building. provid.ed tbe stage is willing to adopt him. He is now practicin~ The second of the series of assembly parties of the Gatling gun a speCially act, and he has already decided upon a 110m du /Iua/rt battery took place in the Armory Wednesday night. which, ,will be Don Carlos Androvitsch. A local theatre will be Miss Maud Wentworth,' daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Nathaniel the scene of his debut. TOWN TOPICS. 9 SALLIE D'BRASSE. the true inwardness of t~e matter we1.l enough to encompass the long-felt want. Long ago, the physicians declared the round gar. F you haven't finished your Christmas ter to be injurious, and now another congress of doctors are pro· list, you'd better hurry up about it, for nounctng the side elastics, now in vogue, to be equany dangerous. there are only two more days to pur· They leave us the alternative of wearing our stockings in wrinkles chase in, and the shops are pretty wen like a Musquetaire glove, or of going back to the round, spiral ransacked by this time. affairs, clasped above the knee. They say tbe latter are not harm· I don't believe the custom of making ful, but that doesn't solve the problem, for only a fat woman can out a list of the pres~nts you would like keep them on! Must we wait until tbey invent a stocking that is much practiced here; but it is very can be fastened about the neck? In stre~ts like' these of muddy popular in Eastern cities, and would be Cleveland, we have especial need of neat foot coverings. But the so everywhere if people only appreciated the convenience of the daintiest French boots and silken hosiery are of no avail if the thing. It seems rather audacious to be signifying one's expecta­ "elastic" fails to perform its proper mission. Give us a garter tions and dictating to one's friends as to what one would like in the that is neat, substantial, and-as the little boy said of some fire­ way of gifts, but looked at in a practical light, the list is simply a proof material-that is non·hustible. frank, easy and convenient way of helping your friends out in the *•* difficult matter of gift selecting. It is a great deal better than I attended an Art Club reception a short time ago, and was en· throwing out hints, or saying that you want nothing, and then be­ joying the pictures and the people, when I met a clever young man, ing disappointed if you get it. No one wants to give or receive one of the kind who knows everyone and goes everywhere, dabbles unacceptab~e presents, and the best way to avoid such a catastrophe a little in art and literature, and keeps wen posted on an that is go­ is by making out a careful list and leaving it around in some con­ ing on. Wen, 1 have a thirst for information, so I froze to my new spicuous place, where your friends may conveniently consult it. acquaintance without delay. He was kind enough to point out a My list is as long as the president's message. There is no num btr of celebrities to my unsophisticated gaze, and finally, he hypocrisy about Sallie D'B. And it- hO.s more amendments than he asked me to notice a young lady who had just paused to ex· the Constitution, aad more P. S. 's and N. B.'s than a school-girl's change a few words with" the Dean." letter: And it is written very distinctly so that nobody could She was a slim, sallow girl, with hair and eyes of no particular possibly mistake "a Limoges vase" for a lemonade set, or "a color, hut her ~old spectacles gave some character to her face, and monkey cape" for a "m'onkey (,r ape." I might ~et the best of she had a sharp, per,ky sort of nose that looked as though it could the other girls, and get sOlid with old Santa by publishing my list,' make its way in the world, and pilot its "wner safely throu~h. but I clon't wish tv take an unfair advantage of anyone. Besides, But s!le was such a languid, unenergetic looking person. Even it wouldn't cia to convert several pages of the TOPICS into" want" her clothes, her four·in·hand cape and limp skirts, hung upon her columns. in a dejected, don't.care.if-I.never.'get-there fashion, that was ener­ vating simply to look upon. So I thought she might be an artist. *** Some nice, young girl has wl:itten to me asking foran explanation " No," answered my companion, "that young lady is the of the mystery of the yellow garter. I'm always glad to see girls writer of the D'Brasse letters, in TOWN TOPICS!" show a oesire to become informed on subjects of importance, so I braced up and murmured," Is it possible?" and added some­ will be happy to tell why I-I mean, why so many of the girls wear thing to the effect that she was not at a'lI my ideal of the intrepid a yellow garter. Not a pair, but just one~that's the singular part Sallie. of it. Some people think it a meaningless piece of frivolity, but "N 0, indeed," was the reply, "she doesn't look the character, they are mistaken. There is a deep and weird significance attached at all, but they say there is a good deal (Jf go to her, after all, and to the y. g. In the first place, it must be worn ahove the left she has great literary ambitions. By the way, her identity is some­ knee, or the hoodoo charm will fail. And it must be worn a whole thing of a secret as yet, but I happen know about it and didn't year, from Easter day to the next Easter eve. Another important mind telling you, since you were so anxious to discover all the consideration is the tying of the clasp with a true lover's knot of 'notorieties.' Would you like an introd!1ction?" soft, yenow silk. Then the spell win be perfect. It need not be I declined, on the pretense that I was afraid of being written up, worn at night, but otherwise the toilet is never complete without but inquired the Harne of the young lady, and just bit my tongue in the mystic clasp, not a knee-sy thing to always remember, you'll time, to keep from asking if there were any more Sallies present. allow. . I don't believe she would have looked so mild if she had known The yellow garter should he the gift of an unknown friend. what she was being accused of. There will be no trouble about managing that matter, if 'my cor­ •*• respondent will exercise her wits a little between now and Easter. I saw something unique in the way of aChristmas gift·to-day. Then, on her wedding·day, which win speedily follow Ihe ex­ It was a pair of cuff-buttons, each ornamented with a crown sett1l1g piration of the garter's term of office, if she follows out these rules, holding a tiny baby tooth. The idea and desi~n were furnished she must gather up what is left of the fateful circlet-it won't be by a young nlarried lady, the buttons heing intended for her hus­ much-twist it ablJut the stems of her bridal bouquet, and present band. Their eight·year.old daughter furnished the teeth (they it to the girl friend whom she loves best. were not extracted for the purpose, by the way), and the little So you see this matter of the yenow garter ~mbraces quite a molals, polished and nicely set, really looked very pretty. The variety of contingencies-in fact, it does a good deal in the embrac­ jeweler dedared that they were the first teeth worn in the shape of ing line. jewelry, in this city. SALLIE D'BRASSE. While on the s'upject of hose supporters, I llIust ~ay I ~ish so~~ woman would invent a garter that would be neat, healthful, and EALTH OFFICER ASHMUN has a genuine admiration for warranted not to give way at inconvenient times. The perfect H many of the Mosaic sanitary and dietary laws, and he pro­ stocki'ng·sup)Jorter is yet-a ,thing of the future, and I'm sure that fesses to make that subject the basis of his talk before the Y. M. none but'a woma'n's wit will produce it, for she alone understands C. A., January 8. TOWN TOPS

CHRISTMAS, AND IT BRINGS. t 2 TO\VN TOPICS.

lay much stress upon the lucidness of plots in comic opera, it is true, but that of Mr. Smith is very incoherent. Some of thi" doubtless, comes from the fact that he has tried to get in as much of Cervante's novel as possible without reference to its relevancy. Smith's best work is done in his lyrics, which are gracefully written; and in one of them at least, the couplds for the DOll and SalIdtO in the I.hird act, he shows a Gilbertian felicity of expression. DeKoven's music is much better than the lihretto, and really carri~s the opera. He is not a stylist, hy any means, and his musIc uy turns reminds one of a host 01 composers. There are RlTICAL comment on the Bos some numbers very much in the manner of Sullivan, but he is at tonians can be summarized in C his best in music of the Vienna optnttm school with which he is one terse sentence. They are pro- most familiar, for he studied there with Zdl and Genee. This is fessional singers, but merely ama­ DeKoven's second opera, and its success should spur him on to teur actors. The public taste now other efforts. demands, though, that the dra­ ~::.:'!: matic and vocal powers of per­ *-. A material devil is a philosophical mistake, however effective he formers in light opera shall be may be in a theatrical sense. Too much familiarity breed!i con­ equally developed, and so they fall tempt, you know, and a Mep/lI:rto, shorn of his supernaturalism and in the scale as the test is rigidly mixing with men on a familiar and colloquial footing, is robher! applied to them. of much of his potency. This is not a new standard of taste: it is only the revival of an When, in addItion, you surround him with an aureole of elec­ old one that ha- too long been dormant, anrl when I remember tricity and illuminate his surroundings with a pyrotechnic display, what magnificent actors those old·time singers were, I often won· it is no longer a question of metaphysics but of physics that pre· .Ier at the cumplacency with which so many of the present day are accepted. "There were giants in those days." Surely you have sents itseH. ThiS is regarding it purely from moral and intellectual points of not forgolten Henri Drayton an'l Castle and Campbell, Caroline view. As a theatrical character it is radically different, as 1\11'. Richings, Julia Matthews, W. H. Crane and a score of their Lewis Morrison is satisfactorily showing at the Lyceum this week. cotemporanes. The annual visits of the Bostonians always make me contem­ His Mephisto i3 not only the best thing I have ever seen him do, plative, and these are the memones they invoke. uut it is, I am frank to confess, of a grade of excellence to which The Bostonians. I honestly believe, are under the evil spell of I never thought he could arise. It is an especially thoughtful per­ intell~ctual their name, and, like the

II Susette," which is boucicaulted from the French by Oscar Wdl, where ignorance is bliss-you know the rest,

Weil, the stage manager of the troupe j and II Don Quixote," * written by Reginald DeKoven and Harry Smith, of Chica~o. ~'he Black Cal is the mo·t o~;t~:~l)ken of all the New York the­ Mr. Smith, who wrote the book to "Dun Quixote," has atnca.' papers. It p~ints no theatrical advertisements, accepts 110 lately had considerable experience in that line, but his work free ""tickets, and the 111dependence of opinion thus 011I,t'amed crops in the present case is decidedly disappointing. Americans do not out In Ib bnlliant criticisms ' c··' • ,~AGE. TOWN TOPICS.

COMING ATTRACTIONS. are as a whole capably interpreted by the members of the com' pany now at the Court Street Theatre. Mark Stl11"e;', the hero, "--~ - HE most important event of the I.JCal might stand for anyone of the thousand or mort: hrave hoys who dramatic season will be the appearance left home to fight (or the Union nearly thirty years ago. Mr. W. at the Lyceum Theatre next week of H. Murdock takes this part and does it full justice." Signor Tomaso Salvini, the renownecl The Philadelphia News recently printed t~e following review of Italian tragedian. His engag'ement is the play that will be produced at the Star next week: "Mr. W. a very short one, Friday and Saturday StalTord produced the new play, 'D<'vil's Mine,' at the National evenings and Saturday matinee. Theatre last night, to a large and enthusiastic audience. The play Salvini is nol only the greatest of is a good melodrama of more than average merit, anrl hristles with Italian actors: he is one of the fore· stirring situations and exciting incidents. The scenery was very most tragedians of the world, and the handsome, and the mechanical eHects, e~pecially the transparent term genius, so ofte n miapplied to those lake, aroused the audience to a high pitch of enthusiasm. Mr. of lesser calibre, is.a fitting and truthful one in his case. He played Stallord as the hero, Jack Htlwiey, gave a forcible and finished in this city some years ago, on his first visit to America, ancl the piece of acting. He was well s;lpported by. a care~ully selecteu memory d his wonclerful acting, particularly of his marvelous company, includlllg Mabel Florence as Jamie lV,llia/lls, a charac. Olhdlo, is as vivid as though it were onlyyesterclay. He will u/' ter in which her talents get full sway." sUPiJortecl by a first·class company, prominent among which is his The Dime Museum, which has been enlarging its artistic bound. talented son Alexander, ancl Mrs. D. P. Bowers. The repertory aries from tillle to time, comes out as a full.fledged theatre will be as follllws: Friday, "Samson;" Saturday, "Gladiator;" next week with a regular attraction. ., Muldoon's Picnic" "A Child of Naples" at the Saturday matinee. will be played there with a large company of talented performers. The Lyceum Theatre, up to the Salvini opening night, wIll be In addition there will be the usual exhibit of curiosities. Th.~ occupied by "The Hokin the Ground," one of Charlie Hoyt's prices will remain unchanged.. musical farces, which has been seen here before with pleasure. Like all of his works it is vigorous and jolly, with pleasing music, EITH ER Martin Dodge, George A. Robertsoll, nor Will good dancing, al1l1 a numher of pretty girls. Mr. Lawton is still N Rose have ever been superstitious, but .lot one of the well· with the company as the S/ali01l Agm/, and the halance of the cast known newspaper trio would walk under a ladder again, and lor will he found satisfactory. Hoyt's plays may he light in texture, this reasoll. When the publica!ion of the late Iamente I E;·ming hut they always have the benefit of good actors. Sun was under consideration it took some clays to complete all The true·blue American finds abundant chance for lusty necessary arrangements, and when the final clay for the signing of che(~ring in the fact that the greatest melodramatic success uf the papers was on hand, Dodge, Rose and Robertson visited the the present season has been won by a play that is American office of city sr.'licitor, who was one of the interested parties. They in situation, sentiment, yharacters ancl authorship j that is entered City Hall by the west entrance, walkecl up the narrow acted hy American talent ancl backerl by American capital. flight of stairs and at the head of the ~ight immediately opposite The reign of the British melodrama is at an end, and the home the solicitor's office was a step lander, stationed in such a way that trade wiII hereafter supply the home market. This success· they had to walk under it. ful play is "The Great Metropolis," which will be the Christmas "If we were inclined to he superstitious," remarketl one, '" we week attraction at the Opera House. It comes from phenomenal would postpone this husiness until to morrow." engagements in all the Eastern cities, and all the original company They all pooh.poohed the idea o( being superstitious. The con· and scenery will be seen in it here. One of the leading scenic ference was held and the papers were signed. displays is a representation oi an ocean storm, showing the wreck The b'millg SUit lived just thirty days. of a full.rigged brig, and the rescue of the passengers and crew by the United States life savers, who bring a beach cart, bomb gun, APA, mamilla and four·year·old Johnnie were having a ride life lines, and breeches buoy into requisitIOn, and perform therein P on the street car. The vehicle was crowded and Johnnie work in the highest style of the life ~avers' "rt. The company is was obliged to sit on papa's lap. He was so cute and cunning that a very strong one, and embraces such prominent people as Harry he attf'lcted all the passengers'rattention, and in the midst of his Weaver, Jr., Hamilton Rev~I1, rare old C. W. Cuuldork, Harry inllocent witticisms he was playfully toying with papa's mustache. Hawk, Newton ChisneIl, and Misses Netta Guion, Carrie Jackson, "Your mustache ain't a turlin' up a bit to day, papa," he remarked, Ida Glenn, Adele Palma and the veteran Mrs. W. G. Jones, who and everybody in the car smiled. The matter was just a trifle too Sll pported Charlotte Cushman a generation ago. personal, so neither papa nor mamma made any response, but War dramas are now all the rage, and "The Blue and the John.nie continued, just the same: "I didn't m"ean to break. the Gray,'" which the H. R. Jacobs will produce next week, is said to handle from the turlin' iron, sure I didn't," and turning to mam· be one of the best. It is by the late Elliot Barnts, and it uses the rna, while everybody listened attentively, he put on the finishi~g incidents of the late war not in a partisan sense, but simlJly to touch with, "but why didn't you get little bits of pJpers for papa's depict character and to develop friendly emotions. The goou mustache, just like you did berore we had the turlin"iron?" traits in both the contending parties are presented j and, aside from its merits as an entertaining play, "The Blue and the Gray" HILE Manager Miller, of the Lyceum, is quietly attending teaches a valuable moral lesson of forbearance and reconciliation. W. to his business at home; he has a spectacular play on the It will be staged with especial care, the scenery painted for its road, and ~en Stern, its advance agent, does the most outrageous New York production will be used and all the parts will be given things imaginable to advertise his show. The other day he rather to competent actors. A full military company will appear in the suprised the city of New York by advertising (or five thousand baltle scene. .Of the play the Buffalo Express, of De~ember 17th, cats, and after securing two thousand of them he tied tags with says: "Every seat was filled last night at the Court Street Theatre the name of the play around' theIr necks and sent them out rejoic. at the first per(ormance of. '. J:he ~lue.and The Gray..' .The pl~y's ing. Miller denies t.he soft impeachment that he had anything to popularity is owing to its natural' and original characters. They do with the New York cat episode. 14 TOWN TOPICS. JUST WHAT HE DIDN'T WANT. .. A TRACED Y IN THREE ACTS.

IS name wasn't McGinty, but so far as looks went it might H have been. He shuffled up to the bar with a very uncertain step and fixed a glassy eye on the bartender. .. Say, podner," he said in a voice so husky that it sounded like a whisper. .. Say, podner, I'm dead broke and I've got a tirst on me that makes me troat feci like a giraffe. Can I stand you up for a drink?" The bartender looked him O\'er and for once made an exception t(., his general. rule. " What 'II you have?" "Whiskey," gasped the hero. J\ /;lass and bottle were set before him, and as he poured out tha fluid the bottle performed a castanet solo on the edge of the glass. Then he was seized with a fit of coughing. The bartender took another bottle and squirted some dark-brown fluid into the glass of whiskey. "Wot's that, podner, ?" asked our friend, lifting the glass from the bar and looking at it critically but f~nd[y. "That? why that's bitters. Give you an appetite." THE PROPOS.'\ L " 'Vha-a-at ?" "Bitters. Good thing for your stomach. Give you an appetite." He set the glass down on the bar without tasting its contents alld pushed it towards the bartender. Then he turned away, and as he passed through the door he turned and gave the bartender a reproach­ fullook but spoke no word.

REJECTED.

"\"'~"~,, THEI R FIRST AND ONLY CHANCE. FIRST MAN (txcittdly); OUR 1l0ARDING-HOUSE IS AFIRE! SECON D MAN (calmly); COME, THEN, HURRY UP AND PER. HAl'S WE MAY liE ABLE TO GET SOMRTIIlNG HOT. FINAL·E. TOWN TOPICS. IS

- .~ ,.1-' \ , ,- ,{ \~I' ~' / '(;,. .1,'·.....

A IC~OCK-OOWN ARGUMENT.

MRS, PERCEY BALLAVONIE TU BHS: TO~I liAS IIAIl Ar"D HIS EYES OPEN, IS PREPARElJ FOR BAD LUCK, AND SEES IT A\\'FI'LLY HAD L1JCK-POO){ FELLOW! COMING. II' liE HASN'T ICIITELLIGENCE ENOUGH TO GET 0 T OF MR, P, B. T,: 'VIIAT RUBBISH! BAIl LUCK MEANS HAIl ITS WAY Il!': ()ESE~VES --jor l'etlSOIlS {'xpltlillftl abo'il! thl! argll­ l\IA:'I:ACa:MENT, A l\IAN OF SENSE KE:':PS illS WITS ABOUT 111M IIIl!lIt was tliUOlllilllli'tl 111 litis poilll,

AR 'UM'S uproarious suc­ PETE: YOll don't mean it. I should think his friends ,,'ould cess in England is a wemonstrate with him. promising indication of the near approach of the Millenium. Kings bow down to him, and princes, dukes and lesser noble­ men are honored by his presence at their table. What surer sign could be given us that the effete dynasties are recognizing their inferiority to tte modest unadvertising merit of this great republic?,

OUNG WIFE (coldly): Y I presume it was busi- ness that kept you out so late last night? VOUNG HUSBAND (anxious tv jJlease): YeJ, and fortun- ately I was successful. YOUNG WIFE: Vou were certainly full. About the success I t:1ink I shall have to consult your bank account.

TEWIBLE. HOLLV: Dicky is beco:ning a wegulaw woue, don't C you know? OISCERNIRLE AT SHORT RANGE PETE: No; impossible. (HOLLY: Why, he smoked thwee cigawettes last night COMF. YERE AN' SRI': YO' MAMMA, OGDELENA. while we were playing a game of old maid. OGDELENA: I KIN SEE YOU FROll YERE. MAMMY. 16 TO\iVN TOPICS. " Negroes for sale-J young women, girls 14 years old, and a man 22 years old, at depot, 79 Ohio street, where we are constantly re­ cei ,ing negroes of eve'ry description, for sale, from our a~ents In Ihe country. Persons wishing to buy, if we cannot now sull them, can be supplied soon by giving us notice. Negroes wanted and bllarded." HILE Attorn~y Vir~ill~. Kline i~ busy these days fi~h.ti.ng AV FAATZ, captain of last season's League b~se ball le.am, 0 W Cal vin $ Bl'1ce, his wife, Ilft 1\1 ISS abel', has been vI,ltlng her old friend", composing the Bostonians, most of whose members this city, was recenlly sued for a doctors' btll amountll1g to ~omeJ belollged to the Ideals when that company was organized by her, $70 which he had already p'aid and for the pr-yment of which sOllie eleven years ago. Tom Karl, Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald he held a receipt. He was gl\'en notice of the suit, but being (Marie Stone), l3arnabee, and George Flothingham, all belonged to positive that he had seltled Ihe bill, he paid no atlentiun 10 Ihe the uriginal Ideals and they generally visit Mr. and Mrs. Kline summons and a judgment was rendered ngainst him by default. whenever they come to town, at their cozy residence on East He consulted an attorney who toln him Ihat a judgment, whether Madison avenue. just or unjust is as good as a note, and receipt or no receipt, he could do nothing but pay the bill. Faatz narrated his trouhles tu EW la,/ies still persist .in wear~ng those hid.eous long feathers his I"wyer, told him of a recent death in the family, of his heavy F cnn'ilructed in a hOrIzontal hne upon their hats. A hat pro­ expenses and how he cculdn't afford 10 satisfy the judgment vined wilh ant: uf those arrangements was recently noticecl at the against him nntil nexl Spring when the base ball season opens Lyceum, and its wearer, a damsel of some twenty Summers, was aga.in, saying that he had just come fro 111 the East where he buried accomlJ;.nied by a blushing young man not much older. The a brother-in·law, :1nd adding, "1 don't know what is going tu young gentleman moved about uneasily dodging hither and thither, J1:1ppen next." "\'uu l11ay die before you know it," remar1;cd a~ thouJ,;h afraid of being stung hy a wasp. Some of his neighbors, the attorney. "Ves, 1 lIlay," repliecl Faalz, "we can't tell what is who not iced his strange antics, investigated.matters and found that liable 10 happen." "Ami in that case," said the lawyer, "you whenever ,he would bend over to ask him something or impart wouldn't want to "alisfy Ihis judgment before your death." "\", some information the sharp point of that terrible feather would of cOlII'se not," was the ball tosser's response. enter one III his eyes or playfully skim about some part of his face. Between acts, the people in the immediate vicinity had lots of fun HEN the roller rink craze was at its height, some citizens watching the young man's eftorts to escape the torture, while the of :1 specuhtive turn leased 125 (eel uf frontage on Forest young lady, wholly unconscious of being the" observed of all ob· W street, and built what was known as the Casino Rink. After a servers," continued to furnish amusement to her' neighbors and time, scandal began tn affect the popuhrily of the place, it ran torture to her young man. down, changed hands, and was finally abandoned. Then a lum­ ber dealer occupied it for a year, but couldn't make it pay. After "",IIERE is no accounting for tastes. fhe veriest drivel in the that, a dealer in stoves settled there, but moved away again, and, 1 WlY of alleged songs ever written by llIan is the balderdash la,t Fall, a St. Louis man with a'folll'teen-syllable name bought it and ruhb..-h known to fame as " Down went McGinty to the bot­ and repaire(1 it for roller skating. Since then, it has fallen into tom of the well." To·day it is the most popUlar song on the the hands of Eastern people who are going to have a bogus cham­ American .:ontinent, and is being displayed in music store win­ pion walking match there, with the usual accompaniments of such dows with works that are really artistic. "Is it really a fact," was. places. The neighborhood is up in arms against the resort, and asked of a musIc dealer a few days ago, "that that song sells so property on the street is fast depreciating. well?" "Sells well ?" he echoed, "we can't get enough of them to supply the demand. Mr. McGinty is the most popular man in FTER carefully watching the columns of the local news· America to-day, and is probably beller known than the presi(lent." A papers, daily and weekly, the statement is ventured that there is something out of gear, somewhere. January is almost at · LD newspaper files always prove interesting. A Cleveland hand and not a single publication in town has sprung the chestnut O paper nearly lorty tive year~ old speaks with enthusiasm about the citizen hunting for his nickel in the streel car .straw. about St. Paul's Church, whi.;h was tl:en in process of erection Can it be possible that our local humorists are growing careless, or on the corner of Euclid avenue and Sherifl street. Other local will this remind them of their duty toward the reading public? news seems to be scarce, save the booming of a new theatre, which a certain Mr. Potter was on the point of huilding on \\oater S~[ALL, wiry and active figure, with a prominent nose and advertis~lllents - street. Among the there is one conspicuously dis­ A straggling white beard under his chin, and a pair o( blue eyes played advertising candles, molasses, coffee, sugar, fish, wines and that are rather expressive-that is Bolivar Butts, one of the direc­ liquors for sale by W. J. Gordon. R. T. Lyoll and G. C. Dodge tors of the Infirmary department. Mr. Butts has been on the also kept grucery stores. T. S. P..llldock adverti;e; a top buggy board so long thai oul,ide of the superintendent, he knows more for sale. N. E. Crittenden sllid " Vank~e D,Jodle fish-hooks and of its alJairs thall 'Illy man in town. fishing tackle." M. C. Yuunglove advertised a news-depot under the American House. J. H. Hutchins d~alt in wall p"per, and a saloon known as "The Shakespeare" seemed to do a thri vi ng all£"ll!i~1l busine'is. Tilh' 4 tht' public is rcspcct­ jlfl(1' IIn'lled 10 Ihe ('kgallt displaJI UCH space is taken up in the paper by the market bulletin, of diaJllollds alld tilL' large assortmcllt oj M and judging by that, the cost uf living compared with to­ (hoiu; lfolidaJI g~!ts SII07l'lI at . day wa.; wonderfully cheap. CofTee was quoted at 9 cents a pound /1.-/II·S jldVELR Y STORE retail; apples, 75 cents a bushel; butter, 14 cent,; beef, 4 cents; . , eggs, 13 cents; hay, $7 a ton. Here is a copy of an advertisement: Corller SlIperior a1ld Selll't'l1. TOWN TOPICS. 17 EIt'ctl·iclIl. Pa!.ell ts. For Holiday Gifts. United Electric Co" OSBORNE & CO., Room 8, 81) 1';lIclill A v('. Patent lawyers CARVING SETS in Electric Belts for Wcak -AND- Ivory, Pearl, Silver, Etc. and Nervous People, Solicitors of Pa/mts, Kidney and Liver Com­ 29 Euclid Avenne, plaints, Constipation, N ELEGANT I,INB of itc. CLEVELAND, O. A Nut Cracks and Picks, Dnlllghtlillllllll. Sleds, Bank Safes, Etc., N. S. AMSTUTZ. J. H, Fleharty & Co, \'ienese and French Coffee Pols. Artist-Draug-ltlslI/all, :u Blallk:

sup,::r 51. tr~14 CHRISTM~~ CARDS :~~;I:~;;~:yRL::U;~;;CO, ittrrSjJe,ial Agel/Is /01' 1I1essrs. BarlrulIl, H(~rvey HOLIDAY GOODS. &' Co., Londoll. Contractors for Largest Variety. Latest Designs, and at :OE=~EJ:ea., Lo,vest-Prices. Lighting E. The Strzets of Cities and Towns. 14:J 1<;lIdi(1 A\'(mlle. Walter Smith, Man:lfactllrers of Photographic Portaits. Vapor Gas Rllrncrs, Fixtures, 329 Superior St.. CLEVELAND, O. Torches, Gasoline and Oil Stoves. LASH-LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHS, House Inte­ and all kinds of Street Lanterns fur Gas, G:I~olinc and Kerosene. F riors and Photo-Crayons A SPECIALTY. Mr. Decker has been awarded the highest premium Mr. and Mrs, Jules E, Heywood's AltirWrite for circl~lars and prices. whenpver cxhlbiting in compelion, in Amenca and Winter Term in Society Dancing, 13 to 23 Davies St., Clevelaod, 0, ahroad. BEGINNI£RS I

CUMSO HAD BEEN TO A SLUGGING RECITAL.

U \150: I ~aw a striking costume last night. ~ C MRS, CUMSO (deeply interested) : How was she dressed. MR. CUMSO: It wasn.t as he. I t was a man ['n fights, and he wore box- i:lg gloves. MRS. CUj\/SO: You arc a brute.

LA POKAlkE.

~ R, VAN DYKE BROWN: I ne\'er made a successful bluff hut once \I M in my life, I I MR. CRIMSON LAKE: You don't mean it. When was that? :'IIR. VA:\' DYKE B~~()\\',,: That \\'as when I raised my moustachc, ;\0 IiiJ \ ,'I one sa\\' i;, " ' I I i i HED IS THE COLOR Hi:' USt.S. ) S your uncle a landscape painler ? ", aske~, Snuoper of Briggs. ( "I f 01 No, not exactly. He pall1ls towns.

A NEW S:\WlJU~T GAME,

IT WAS "ERY UNK[!'IU OF SECOR, THE LO\V CO~[EDIAN, TO STICK SHAWL PINS INTO MISS Dol.I.Y PADDINGTON'S TIGHTS JUST BEFORE SI;,\t;ING HER GREATEST HIT, "THEY ARE NOT WHAT TilEY SEEM, TRA LA!" ------, -- - ==== EXACTL Y WHAT IT WAS.

u:\1 SO: Why didnt you comc last \\'eck, as you C promised ? FANGLE: I sprained my ankle, Cl';\ISO: That is a lame excuse.

SHE SELDOM READS IT.

RS F~NGLF.: I thou,ght Y:lU ~aid l\1

UNUSED TO IT.

"yOUNC DOLLEY fell to Ihe fioor and fainted away last night. .. Did he? He must have been struck with an idea," SHOCKING! ANTHONYW AS SHOCKED. MISS WRECKLESS (t1J (lid Scruple, 70/10 is IlJokillg lit a plaque {JlhL'rpailll­ RS. COMSTOCK: I need some new gloves; ing): Now, THAT'S MAMA; SUCH A BOTHER AS SHE "'AS; WE HAn, NO OVEN A'\;) HAD TO HAVE HER F[RED OUT OF THE HOUSE. I think I'll get undressed kids. M pailltill~, l\'1R. COMSTOCK (horrified): What! A nd Scruple, who is 1lOt versed ilZ the technicaliti;s 1'1 c/.':na goes offin dfJuht ,vhe/hi'r il is worse to be ull/ilial or tlJ talk slang. TOWN TOPICS. 19

Orders for the Holidays should be left early to assurt> prompt attention. Catarrh. Throat and lung diseases cured by the direct inhalation 0 1 Medicated Balsam Vapor. Call or send stamp (or book on office and home trea'.ment. DRS. GATCHELL, 174 Euclid ave. \ADIES will do well to visit our stores Holiday Slippe·rs. We carry a complete assortment of desir- L and view the handsome things for able styles. OVIATT BROS. Christmas Gifts 111 Smoking Jackets, eA. F. Smith's Famous Glove-Fitt­ ing Footwear in Great Variety Fine Lyon Umbrellas, Silk Mufflers, Neck­ At N. O. Slone & Co.'s. We are special ag~nts for the above line of shoes. wear, Plush and Seal Caps, Gloves and Ladies' Fr. Dongola Boots, $3.00. Ladies' Fr. Dongola Hand Turned, $3.50. Canes for gentlemen, and the dainty Suits Ladies' Fr. Dongola Hand Welt, ~.oo. The above line are made in all styles toes and heels, button or front lace. . and Overcoats for children N. O. STONE & CO., 48 Euclid ave.

Stores open evenings until Christmas. Holiday Excursion. Holiday excursion tickets, at low, round E. R. HULL & CO., trip rates, will be sold from all ticket offices of the Pennsylvania Lines Weat of pitts­ Leading Clothiers. burgh on December 24th, 25th,3Ist, 1889, and January 1st, 1890, good going on date of sale and returning until January 3d, 1890. He MOl/med No More. plain o( leaving hungry or in any way dis· satisfied. Their service is prompt, waiters A mournful looking man stood near the polite, and you are sure to be satisfied as to [J(,. O. Stone & Co. corner of Superior and Water streets, and price, cuisine and service. More than pleased with their new store and glared first at the sky, and then at the mud, .business on the avenue. Special sale of in a sad and weary way. He was a thin man [/\fichel Plate Excursion. Holiday slippers the balance o( the week. with a pale countenance, and he looked like N. O. STONE & CO., 48 Euclid ave. a victim of chronic dyspepsia. Presently, If you contemplate a trip during the he turned to a stout, rosy· faced bystander Holidays you should consult the cheap ex· Try the Xavier Jouvin glove, it has the and solemnly said: "A green Christmas cursion rates on the Nickel Plate; sale com­ colors, the style, durability. Adapted to makes a fat churchyard." The stout gentle· mences Monday, Dec. 23, and continues'each long, medium and short fingers. Shaw, 93 & man smiled. " Nonsense, " he cheerily cried, day to and including Jan. 1st, 1890. All 95 Euclid ave. "you can get fat a good deal easier than tickets good to return to and including Sat· that. Come with me." He took the dys· urday, Jan. 4th, 1890. "Dress Shoes. peptic stranger by. the arm and led him Patent leather shoes, patent leather Oxfords down Superior street. Presen tly they paused. The Park WaH Paper Co., 170 Public and patent leather pumps. An appetizing aroma struck the nostrils of Square, furnish estimates on all- kinds o( OVIATT BROS. the thin stranger. He actually smiled. interior decoration. Then he looked up at the sign over his head. See their new effects in plastic work. Wall paper, Spring style now arriving at " Yes," said the stout man, .. these are the Headquarters (or Lincrusta-Walton. All the 170 Public Square. popular Bethel dining rooms and Manager novelties. Work strictly first class. No PARK WALL PA~ER CO. Pence is waiting inside for us with a dinner fancy prices. that will scare all your gloomy proverbs out G. H. LYTTLE, Manager. Holiday Rates. of sight. Come in." The stout gentleman The Nickel Plate will sell tickets at re­ and the thin one passed together into the duced rates between all stations commenc­ Pence domain, and when they emerged, (orty Sensible' Presents. ing Monday, Dec. 23J, 1889, to Wednesday, minu.tes later, there was a bright smile on A pair of our fine shoes or slippers. J an. 1st, 1890. Inquire of nearest agent. the thin man's (ace, and he shifted his waist· OVIATT BROS., 232 Superior St. Gopd returning on any train to and includ· band as though it was growing unpleasantly ing Jan. 3d, 1890. tight. The above is only one: incident out of Fine initial and monogram embroidery on a great many. No one who ever enters the handkerchiefs, muffier3, etc., to order on Cheap Holiday rates via Nickel Plate. ever popular Bethel restaurant can com· short notice, at Oettinger's, 94 Euclid Ave. Inquire of nearest agent. 20 TOWN TOPICS.' ':., : "They are laborers,. my son, and laying wrong. His poodle was alongside of him, sewer pi pe. " and after wearing the subject thr'adbare, in . " They must be getting ribh, working so hi~ funny, broken English he spoke to his ~ - hard." dog as follows: "See here, Boulanger, vat teayter do ve play :n dis veek ?" _._------" Oh, no, not exactly. They earn about seventy.five cents a day." He led his dog up to the poster, the dog 'Bound to Beat Chicago. "And who is the gentleman with his hands apparently studied it carefully, and then in A young woman and her male cnmpanion in his po.:kets aud smoking a cigar? He a lively trot 'he ran over to the opposition walked up. Superior street after dark, arm in don't seem to do anything but look at the house some blocks away. arm, and this is the conversation that was laborers." "You zee, shendelmans," said he, turning overheard by a man who happened to be be· " Oh, that, my boy, is'the foreman, the to the crowd, "even doggy don't can read hind them. boss, and I believe they pay him $3.50 a my name on the bills. and he runs over the She-"Are you married yet ?', day." oddaire place to see 'if 1-' am playing over He-" Well, rather." dere. " " Does your wife know you're out?" See the black hosiery that is guaranteed to "Oh, yes, I told her I was going out on give satisfaction. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid 'The Cat's Exclusive Property. business, and then I gave her the lodge song ave. A teacher was giving a natural history and dance." lesson, " How long have yOIl heen married?" r:ry tbe New Shoe Sto-re on the •• Children," she said, "you all have seen "Just two months." Avenue. the paw of a rat. It is as soft as velvet, isn't "And neglecting your wife already?" The largest, the finest, the cheapest shoe it ?" ., Oh, no, not in the least, she is neglecting house in the State. Our cash business will " Yes, mum." me and abusing me most shamefulIy." save everybody money. "And you ha\e seen the paw of a dog?" " How's that ?" N. O. STONE & Co., 48 Euclid ave. "Yes, mum." " She has actually joined a sewing circle, •• Well, although the cat's paw seems like velvet, there is, nevertheless, concealed in and the other day she told me that ten dollars Nicel Plate Holiday excursions. Inquire it something that hurts. What is it?" a box for cigars ought to be good enough for of nearest agent. me, when you know I am in the habit of pay· No answer. ing ,fiheen." On a Cedar Avenue Motor. "The dog bites," said the teacher, "when he is in anger, but what does the cat do?" .. When are you goi ng to apply for a Condudor-" I can't take this school ticket, "Scratches," replied the boy. divorce ?" madam. You are not a little girl any "Quite right," said the teacher, nodding "Does your heart still flutter for me, longer. " Birdie ?" her head approvingly; "now.what has the Aged spinsler-II No, but I was when I got cat got that the dog hasn't?" "Same old flutter." on the car." "Then I gue~s I'll make it incompatibility " Kittens !" exclaimed the boy in the back of temper. This is getting to be the boss Chtistmas Slippe-rs. row. town for divorces, and is beginning to heat We are headquarters for fine alligator and Miss L. B.Black, of the School of Art of Chicago all hollow." voze calf slippers. OVIATT BROS. Western Reserve University, will be pleased to receive her former pupils and all interested fJ.(. O. Stone & Co.'s New Store, T. A. Selover, the live real estate dealer, in art study or decorati ve work at her says there is a good demand for desirable studio, room 65, 4 h floor, City Hall. after 48 Euclid avenne" is a success beyond a property. Dec. I. doubt. Sale's for Wednesday far ahead of any previons day. Special sal~ of Holiday Nickel Plate Holiday excursion rates all slippers the balance of the week. along the line. ~. O. STONE & Co., 48 Euclid ave. Geese feathers cheap, 129 Woodland ave.

Corsets, new stock, just what you want. Traina on all roads run on Standard time whit h is 'Tbolen's Purp. 33 mmutes slower than BaU's city ti~e. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid ave. "Daily; all other trains dailv except Sundav. Professional people are the most zealous on earth, and many of them would prefer to The Niokel Plate, T. A. Selover, t.he real ,estate man, says lose a hand in a saw mill rather than see Arrive. Depart. it is not always the fine weather that makes their names on the bills misspelled, 'or in FOhto~a Accommodation 10:40 a. m. 5: Jl p. m. As ta ula Local.. 1:00 p. m. 7:30 a. m. business good. The people will go when smaller type than those of their fellow·actors. Ru!"alo Express, 5:16 p. m. 10:45 a. m. and where they can get bargains.. He has Herr Tholen is a German clown who travp.ls Chicago Express 9:20 p. m. 6:30 a. m. Euclid Accommodation leaves 6:20 a. m. 5:05 p. m. some fine investments in large and small with Herrmann's company. He introduces River Bank" II 7 40 a. m. 1 40 p. m. property. City Tick~t Offices: 224 ~ank St., 598 fearl St., in his act a trained dog, which is also can· and Depots. tinually at his heels on the streets. While LEWIS WILLIAMS, B. F. HORNER, . Gen'l Supt. Gen'l Pass. Ag·t. Holiday Slippers. playing in Buffalo, last week, Tholell's name Cleveland, O. A fine assortment at lowest prices. appeared on the· posters as Tholun, and it OVIATT BROS. worrie i him so much that be couldn't get over Oleveland &; Pittsburgh Railro",d, it all the week. One day he stood in front Arrive. Depart.. Tbe Walking Delegate. of the theatre with the manager and several New York Express 12 So p. m. 745 a. m: All'New York Express..;..... 635 P mI'. 05 p. m. "Papa, who are those men digging in the members of the company, as usu.aJ, bemoan. lance Accommod.n 9 35 a. m. 325 p. m. R ~vhenna Accommod n ll 25 a. m. 500 p. m. ground, and what are they doing?" ing his fate for having his name spelled NIg t Express ('5 25 a. m. ('II 10 p. m. .~ ..: . TOvVN TOPICS.

to' •

go i

rhe eep 0 y 'I If your grocer sends yOll anything- ill place 0 SAPOLI0, sentI it hack and insist lllJun ha\'ing just what you on..ler"ll. SillJOLIO always ~in~s sdlis{;H~ti,)l1. 01 floors, tables anu painted work it acts lih~ a charm. For scollril1.~ pots, palls anti l1H.:tlls it has no en ua1. Evervthiner shines arter il, ~t1ll1 (:\'(:11 the children ddi~,.bt in usin~' it in '1 J b .') '..JO , their' at tempts to help around the 1 OUSt;. E OCR ~,mRr:1A.~l'S t:;C)'l.':f~ UO.; NEW YOl~K. "',

C~A~~_ PARIS EXPOSITION S HICHEST AWAR H -----COLD MED l----- SECUaED .BY THE CAUGRAPHa 100,000 Daily Users. ~ot~1 {0f' BartDoldi. 74 FIFTH AVE.,

B.roadway and 23d .8tre~t BETWEEN 22d' AND 23d STREETS,

(fAOJSON ,,(: REI,

New York City. NEW YORK CITY.

._--_.- _. --.....-~- _.- EUROPEAN PLAN. GREATEST SPEED ON RECORD!! 77lt:, /a!t'st and most /as/i.ioJl­ T. W. Osborne '\vroto 179 wOl'd. in one lingle minute, a.ucl G. A. lllcBride ·-wrote rr-ble j.~)i~(,/:!Z·?t r(l~rics for 171~JZ'S 129 words III a single minute, Blind/aMeli, on tho Co.lIgrdllh. .- THE CHAMPION MACHINE OF TKE WORLD; I"'{'''I', to 0 I'dc1', "t mod,:mte prices. THE AMERICAN WRITING MACHINE CO., . HARTFORD, CONN.·' , --.,--...... -.--:-- BRANCH OFFICES :-237 Broadwav, N. Y.; 14 W, 4th Str.eet: CIncinnati. 0.: 1003 Arch Street, - THEO. M..DO·UCHERTY. , P~lladelphia. . ". .' ;.,~~~ F•. E._HE~"'.; _ E.W. EMERY. B llUleekl! 'Review of $Odet!t Brt an~ 1lterature.

VOL. V., NO.4. CLEVELAND. 0., DECEMBER 28, 1889. PRICE FIVE CENTS.

SUCCESSFUL OPENING.

CHORUS OF LADIES: WHY, MR. DINGS, WHAT IS THE MATTER? BINGS (churfully): LAST EVENING OUR CLUn OPENED ITS NEW TOBOGGAN SLIDE. SPLENDID TIME, I ASSURE YOU. WE EXPECT TO INVITE THE LADIES NEXT WEEK. TOWN TOPICS. C~(}e(jUNTNE~ ~ONS FU S ~ea1 s~l\jacl\.ets~Wl"apsal}deloaks, shoulder' capes. pelerines,mUffs,etc. in choice desigQs,at moderate prices. 181- FIFTH .AVENU~ -G~

I NEW YORK SECURITY AND TRUST CO., I 46 WALL STREET. CAPITAl" $1,000,000, SURPLUS, $500,000. CHARLES S. fAIRCHILD, President. WM. L. STRONG, 2d Vice-President. WI!. H. APPLETON, 1st Vice-President. JOHN L. LAMSON, Secretary. This Company is authorized to act as Executor, Trustee, Administrator, Guard~n, Agent and Receiver. Is a legal depository for Court and Trust ~unds. Takes .the entIre charge of real and personal estates, collec.ting the rents and profits, and attenumg to all sllch details as an individual in like capacity could do. . Receives deposits subject to sight drafts, allowing interest on dady balances, and issues ccrtilicates of depOSIt bearing interest.

YOUMAN'S We buy and sell bills fle Exchange THOMASVILLE, CA., Letters on and make cable transfers 01 Oelebrated Hats. PINEY WOODS HOTEL. money to Europe, Austraiia. and tht:. of West Indies; also make·.CollectlOns Stylo and Quality Un('Qualcd. Season opens December 4, 1889. and issue Commercial and Traveling 180, 719 &. 1107 Broadway, M. A. BOWER, Proprietor. ·t Credits, available in all parts'of the For circulars. rales. etc., address WM E. DAVIES. Cred I• world. NEW YORK. Manager, Thomasville. Ga. or F. A. BUDLONG, Urowll Brothers &I Co., Uankers, 59 Wall St. Windsor Hotel, New York City. BREWSTER & CO., Fine Complexion, (OF BROOME STREET) Smooth, Soft Skin.

Mention this lIfagazim and send 4 stamps Carriages and Road Wagons for sample of PACKER'S TAR SOAP. Use it every night with warm water and rough OF THE HIGHEST GRADE. wash-cloth, and you will be gratified with soft, smooth skin and improved complexion. Do not hesitate to use Packer's Tar Our productions have maintained their reputation as the STANDARD for style Soap on your face. It is absolutely pure, and quality for a period covering nearly HALF A CE TURY, o\\'ing largely to our bland, and grateful to the senses. It is perfect organization, careful personal attention to smal1est details, and the fact that we adapted and extensively used for washing manufacture on the premises al1 parts entering into the construction of a vehicle. the delicate skin of infants, and in the treatment of skin and scalp diseases. It ONLY PLACE OF BUSINESS, prevents Chapping, Chafing, and Redness; cures Itching, Dandruff, Acne, etc., and is BROADWAY, 47th to 48th ST., N. Y. an invaluable antiseptic purifier for offe~ sive perspirations, discharges, etc. 25 cents. Correspondence solicited. Estimates and drawings furnished for every variety Druggists, or of pleasure carriage for Town and Country use. THE PACKER MFG. CO., lO:::~~:~t .. TOWN TOPICS. I

R. 'BECK, --AT-- SBI Bond St. H. R. j'ACOBS' THEATRE. Matinees Tuesday and Saturday and Wedne.sday" New Year's," VAlDIS SISTERS' ·NOVELTY CO. Of specially selected artists. A strictly first-class entertainment headed by the world's greatest marvels, the VAI 0 [S TW IN SISTERS, in their new improved Trapezor e Rotaire. patented in Ellrope and America, and aA added extra attraction "KELLER." Week of Jan. 6-IN THE RANKS.

PERA HOUSE. THEATRE. O A Happy Nevv Year. LYCEUM This Week. Monday, Tuesday. New Year's Matinee and New Year's Day and Saturday Matinee. Evening. The peers or them all, Daniel Frohman's New York \ Primrose and West's Minstrels. Lyceum Theater Wife Co. Friday and Salurday Evenings and Saturday Ladies' De'partrnent Matinee. Presenting Belasco and "THE WIFE" Joseph W. J. De Mille's famous com­ RIDING BREECHES (Specialty). "THE WIFE" Jefferson - Florence edy, with an excellent 'I PANTS. "THE WIFE" COMEDY COMPANY. cast and all the scen­ "THE WIFE" ,. TROUSERS. In Sheridan's Brilliant Comedy, ery from the original "THE WIFE" " GAITERS AND LEGGINGS. THE RIVALS. models. Jan. 6-HELD BY THE ENEMY. Riding Habits, Covert Coats, Etc Next week-The Old Homt'slearl. EUCLID AVENUE Ptifut Fit, Comfort anrl Dura6ility. STAR~·THEAT-ER., OPERA HOUSE. *------~* A Happy Ne'\-v Year. Thursday Evening, January 2, 1890. The laughing event of the season. And for laugh· KERN'S RHEUMATIC CURE. Robertson's Military Comedy, ing pur,oses only. Week commencing Monday, Dec. 30. Mati­ Mr. D. Williams, 61 Grant St., Cleveland, says: •• I used Kern's Rheumatic Cure for an attack of nees Wednesday and Saturday. acute rheumatism, and it cured me at once. I took some of my bottle to a neighbor who could hardly "Ours." ~ason. walk with crutches, and it cured him. My wife has comedi~n St. John's Institute, assisted by the Cleve­ America's greatest and funniest German been a terrible sufferer from Neuralgia, and nothing in nis funny 'husical comedy, but this medicine ever helped her." land Cadets and full Military Band. FOlt S,\ LE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. General Adrnision, 50c. 'A CLEAN SWEEP. If,i~Box DOlI't forget OUf grand New Year's matinee, bring office open Monday, Dec. 30. the htt[e ones and make them happy.

DRURY'S DIME MUSEUM.

Trains on all roads run on Standard time, which i, 33 m lDutes slower than Ball's city time. Ne-w Year's Week. *Daily; all other trains dailv except Sunday. ICNIC PICNIC The Nickel Plate. The Messiah! ICNIC PICNI Arrive. Depart. Fostoria Accommodation 10:40 a. m. 5:n p. m ICNIC PICNI Ashtabula Local.. 1:00 p. m. 7:30 a. m. MYRON W. WHITNEY, P Ruffalo Express 5:16 p. m. 10:45 a. m. Chicago Express : 9:20 p. m. 6:30 a. m. 'FRED JENKtNS, Euclid Accommodation leaves 6:20 a. m. 5:05 p. m. A BIG PICNIC. River Bank" "740 a. m. I 40 p. m. GERTRUDE EDMANDS, City Ticket Offices: 224 Bank St., 598 Pearl St., Jar'No Extra Charge in Prices.~ and Depots. BISHOl~~SEARLES, LEWIS WILLIAMS, B. F. HORNER, CARR[E Gen'l Supt. Gen'l Pass. Ag't Cleveland, O. CLEVELAND VOCAL SOCIETY,

GRAND ORCHESTRA AND ORGAN. Oleveland & Pittsburgh Railroad. Arrive. Depart. New York Express 12 50 p. m. 745 a. m: RESERVED SEATS, 26, 60 and 16 .Cents. New York Express 6 35 p m. 1°5 p. m. :Alliance Accommod·n 9 35 a. m. 325 p. m. Ravenna Accommod·n I.l 25 a. m. 500 p. m. Now on Sale at Larwood & Day's, formerly Van Night Express «5 25 a. m. *n 10 p. m. Epps': 2 TO\N;\ TOPICS. BUY from the maller, thell no LADIES! CLEVELAND I )on't purchase until you have seen .tirne is lost, And best returns are gained at lowest The Atlas Oil Stove. Mi~ cost. }. WAGEMAN Now is the Time to Subscribe.

& SONS; ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION, ­ $2.00 SIX MONTHS, 100 CL07HIERS, Deli1le'td ill rill'l), tOllioll (1/ tile rill' by the Stylish Black Cheviot Suits, first lIIon/I/lg's mail f'i'OY Salurdlly.

The Cleveland TOWN TOPIcs is found at every ,",ollie of H" ~ .Ivlulta~.·,,: news-stan j in Cleveland, and is sold on all the trains. It is regularly sold in the following towns at its new, Simpli,-i/y of Ccms/rudilJlI. agencies: Manufactured in the best manner and h',u'p aud Facili/)I '!f HlJlldlillg. Cump/e/I' ClJlIlhus/iulI. Chagrin F'ls, Medina, Hudson, sold direct to the retail (ustomer Hulin' abSJ'JICI' of S1!I(Jk,' IJI' Sm,·II. Akron, Garrellsv'le, Salem, at but one profit. Pryfa/ Clell IIlillrss. Nottingham, Glenville, Warren, El'Ouum:v of FIJI'!. Amherst, Bluffton, Carrollton, Ab.w/U/ll Safl'ly fl'lJm Fir" lIlJd 1,.. -pIIJ.I'ilJlJ. Bryan, Grafton, Greenville, Bargain prices prevail througbout No stop-cock, no valve to get out of joint, no clean­ ing of burner, waste of fuel impossible, autoll1!1tic Dunkirk, Forest, Carthag.e, feed, instant ignition without puffing or sputtennll'. every department. smokeless, odorles~. durable and cheap-the best 111 Batavia, Geneva, Elmore, the market. Defiance, Galion, Dennison, MANUFACTURED BV Tailors-Clothiers-Importers, HubbarCl, Elyria, Sandnsky, THE ATLAS OIL STOVE CO" Fayette, Belleville, Lebanon, E. E. BillOW & CO , Sole Agents. 158 Public Sq. 206 Superior Street. Norwalk, Kent, Ft. Recovery, Rowling Green, Youngstown.. Hicksville. E. DEOXEJE., Sha-vv's. Remit by P. O. money order or check, payable to 143 Elldid Avenue. KID G I.O ,'1·>' ROSENBERG & ROSE, 'Photographic Portaits. Publishers and Proprietors. CORSETS, Lithograpl. 1:,,:lding, corner Wood and St. Clair 5t,. LASH-LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHS, House Inte­ HOSIERY, Telephone 852. F riors and Photo-Crayons A SPECIAL TY. Mr. Decker has been awarded the highest premium FANCY GOODS, whenpver exhIbiting in cornpetion, in Arnertca and Couldn't go it. abroad. MILLINERY. "I see the doctor has just left Mrs. J onei' house. Who is sick 1" SHAW'S, 93 and 96 Euclid Ave. "Why, haven't you heard?" " No." H. C. DEMING, " Mrs. Jones, herseH." HARRISON-MANY LIGHTING CO. " What's the trouble?" DEALER IN Local Investment Securities, Contractors for "A touch of the lock.jaw." You don't say. How did she get it?" 220 Bank St., under Weddell House. I, TELEPHONE 1897. Lightin.g "She was reading the evening paper, and Cleveland. O. The Streets of Cities and Towns. when Mr. Jone~ came in, she told him tha.t Manufacturers of she was so glad Stanley was safe again, and Vapor Gas' Burners, Fixtures, when Mr. Jones asked her where the Stanley Torches, Gasoline aud Oil Stoves, and all kinds of Street Lanterns party had been seen, she shifted the gum for Gas, Gasoline and Kerosene. around the other side of her mouth and said. GRAHAM, LANG &CO., q-Write for circulars and prices. I Upwapwa.' Lockjaw was almost instan­ IMPORTERS OF FINE CIGARS. 13 to 23 Davies St., Clevelaod, O. taneous, and the doctor has been in the house almost constantly since." TELEPHONE 2072, A fresh lot of Imported Cigars- just re­ ceived specially for the Holiday Box SI. John's Institute are making extensive trade. preparations for the production of Robert­ 366 SUPERIOR STREET. son't military comedy, "Ours," to be given at the Opera House, Thursday evening, Jan­ DR. J. W. JUNGMANN, uary 2. They are assistefi in the military Dentiet, features by the Cleveland Cadets and a full Room 39, Nottingham Block, Next to Arcade ~ast The Stohlmann Carpet Cleaning Works, military band, and it promises to surpasi 89 EUCLID A VENUE. '45 Seneca St., cor. Long St. Tel. 2138• I anything yet attempted by this organiza tion. TOWN TOPICS. 3

MARRIAGE A FAILURE AFTER ALL.

j\'IRS, A,: 'WELL, I SEE YOU S\'(TEEDEIJ 11\ TOl'CHI:\!; TilE IJA1'l;IITER's I'EART.

~(R, BE~EDICT (Jllt/ly): YES; Hl"r I C01'1.1l:\'T TOlI('I! TilE OI.lJ ~I:\:\'S Il11CATS,

------====-======'-::=.======.=...... :==---==--~-=---:--:

IN FLORIDA,

AY it's really disgraceful, IS I this loafing," He said with a wearisome sigh: "I must really go in for

/1 deep reading; What do you advise me to tr)' ?"

"Why you trouble us both ~~~~~~ with such questions, -- I cannot imagine,"said she; AW A~ RECEPTION DURING THE BUZZARD. •. Still, for deep reading, I VOICE"-FloM INSIDE: Is THAT YOU, WILLIAM? would advise you to try WILLIAM: Y-E-E-S. 'Twenty Thousand Lea­ VOICE FROM INSIDE: WELL, COME RIGHT DOWN. 1 gues under the Sea.' " KNEW YOU'D BE AWFUL COLD wHEN YQU GOT. '1I0ME; SO I'VE C.B.H. GOT A ROARING FlRE WAITING FOR YO . 4 TO\i\TN TOPICS. was told that no one was allowed to ride on the front platform of a motor car. Instead of complying with the rule, Mr. Kostering is said to have paid his fare with a complimentary ticket, which led the conductor to remark that "just because some people rode ~n dead·head tickets they shouldn't expect more privileges than others who pay their fare." Repeated requests to leave his statil,n being unheeded by the councilman, the car was stopped, and a A Wukly Review of Society, Art and Literat.re. poun~ed, Lithograph Building, cor. St. Cl~ir & Wood streets, Telephone, 852 • rough.and.tumble fight ellsued, in which, although badly Entered at the Post·Office at Cleveland, 0., as Second Class matter. the conductor proved victorious, and Mr. Kostering was depOSIted ROSENBERG & ROSE. Publishers and Proprietors. in the mud. Upon his complaint the conductor was suspended, ------but on investigation, was reinstaterl. ND so we have had an anti·Brice A mass meeting, such as it was, ERE is a pathetic little incident worthy of mention. The and what there was of it. To be H ladies of the Women and Children's Hospital Association sure, the masses didn't turn out, fully had just been serving meals in a vacant store 011 Euclid avenue, one haH of the 400 in attendance for the benefit of the hospital fund. The lunch counter was near being Republicans, while one·half of the door, and Mrs. Darius Caldwell was its presiding genius. Mrs. wom~lI1, the Democrats present were there to Caldwell is a generous and big.hearted and when she saw enjoy the sight of seeing the venerable the pale face of a street urchin peering through the pbte glass ://1; Mr. Foran shake his oily ringlets. windows her heart was touched. The little fellow was poorly and _:;:'. But, after all, there was a mass meet· thinly clad, and perhaps, thought the good lady, the poor boy was ~//P ing-on paper at least. If hungry and craving for some of the good things within. Mrs. Cald· .?/.....~~ " I' d /-eA ':C~. Mr. Foran s popu anty an well went to the door and called to the boy. "What is it, mum?" .:...~~ influence are to be gauged he asked. "Come in, little boy," said Mrs. Caldwell, good·natured· ~..e/ by his mass meeting, he ly, "sit down and have something to eat." The boy looked up mlH cut a sorry figure in· rather surprised, and as he walked toward the door he remarked: deed. Perhaps l\Ir. Brice's "Bain't got no use fer them 'ere doughnuts. I've got more grub at agents had a bar'l on tap home in a day than you can cook in a week." and bribed the Democratic host to keep away from the VETERAN theatre door.keeper died in Boston recently, and meeting. Quim sabe? Mr. Brice has done some wicked things, A it is claimed by the press of Beantown that he had handled and why not this as well? Be may have erred in not of'Iering Mr. more theatrical pas1eboards than any man on record. Our own Foran a sufficient amount of argument, a sufficient number of rea· Frank Finney, however, probabiy beats the record, and the other sons, for his candidacy. Mr. Foran, whose personal int«:grity is so day, an estimate was made about the number .of tickets he had well known as to be beyond all question, is still open to argument. handled during his lifetime. Altogether, he acted as theatrical Surely, Mr. Brice is to hlame for failing to adduce a sufficient St. Peter at Burton's Theatre, Philadelphia j and the Academy of amount of argument. Music, Opera House and Park Thealre of this city for more than twenty years. A low estimate of 500,000 tickets and checks each ORAN-Kline-Blandin! What a queer combination of year gives the result that Francis H. has handled more than ten F criminal, commercial and consitutional law! It must be millions of pasteboards in his lifetime, representing some $5,000,000. this firm that is responsible for the scheme to elect a Republican senator to succeed Mr. Payne. Since it is reasonably certain that Mr. Brice has a sure thing of it, his term of office will not begin until HIS is the season of the year when floor walkers of large dry March 4, 1891, and the Senate will not meet until December', 1891. T goods stores are going into training for a free·for.all, go as. At the first day's session of the Senate, the committee on creden· you.please walking match. It doesn't seem as though they per. tials will be named, and as the Senate is the sole judge of the formed much leg exercise, but one of the profession in a large con. qualification of ils'members, Mr. Brice will be kept out on con· cern on Superior Street kept a little machine in his pocket last stitutional grounds, in support of which the affidavit will be reo year, which recorded his movements on the bicycle principle, and ferred to in which he gave his .residence as New York. As the during the week before Christmas he walked something over next legislature, to be elected in November, 1891, is expected to twenty seven miles each day. That man should go into the the. he Republican, the Senate, by declaring the seat Vllcant, will atrical business. He would be an expert on counting railroad ties. make a place for some Republican. It is not known yet whethel~ Foran fathered this scheme, or whether his colleagues were the OMMODORE R. W. WRIGHT, editor of the Sill/ion Arm!, wet·nurses. C has been at work all the Winter on a plan to get even HE da~ after the anti.Brice, pro.Foran Music Hall hogus mass with F. W. Roberts and Peter Keim, of Sterling, Welch & T meetlllg. Co. Wright is an enthusiastic bicyclist, and so are the other two Ex·Smalor Chapmall-" I was very glad to see you attend the gentlemen. Just before the close of the riding season they made Repub~ican meeting in Music Hall last night." a bicycle trip of some thirteen miles, stopping at a farmhouse. Arnold Grem-" Yes, I saw you there, come to think of it." Keim and Roberts got their machines in readiness for the home. Chap11lan-"And it was one of the most successful Republican ward trip, and when the commodore looked for his, it wasn't to meetings I can recal!." be found any where. They asserted that they had no time to lose and. despite his protestations rode home, leaving him behind'. HERE was quite an interesting fight, the other day, between Wright devoted the rest of the day searching for the missing wheel, . Councilman Kostering and the conductor of a Cedar avenue T a~d after hou.rs. and hours of fruitless searching, h.e made up his !'I1otor. The councilman was slJloking on the front platform, and mtnd to walk mto town and report his loss to Sheriff Sawyer, when TOWN TOPICS. 5 a granger gave him a sly wink and a pointer. That was sufficient disposed to invest so much money fcr the benefit of' Uncle Sam, for Wright, and he took a trip to the re"lotest part of the farm, and so they ostensibly sell chewing gum at S, 10, and 15 cents crawled up the hay lort, and there, covered up by a ton of hay, a stick, and as a souvenier they present each purchaser with a which he had to remove with a fork~ was his machine. He is still cigar according to the qu'\lity of the gum he had purchased. meditating upon revenge, and claims to have discovered a scheme to get even with his tormentors. ECRETARY CRAIG orthe Board of Health knows mote family S secrets than any other man in town. He is',particularly well UDGE BLANDIN has coined a new word, the definition of posted about the ages of married couples, and if ~e were inclined , which is obscured somewhat; but those who have watched to talk, he could reveal many a startling secret respecting the real l:urrentJ senatorial events will not have much difficulty in fathom­ ages of many a young married woman who never passes the twenty­ Ing its meaning. I conversation recently, the judge referred to the five-year mark. At a gathering of a social nature, not long sioce, "crime of bricery," since then, the new word has traveled quite the name of a youn'g married lady was mentioned, and another extensively among local politicians. :rhus far, the word hasn't lady 'remarked that for one so young she is the mother of more fuund its way into the columns of the daily press. And the Plain children than the average woman of her age. "Why, how old do DIaler has discovered the microbe of foranfluellza. you imagine she is?" asked Mr. Craig. "She claims to be twenty­ five," was the reply. Craig said nothing, but in the innermost re­ " TH ER E sits an old fellow I'll never forgive as long as I cesses of his soul he knew her age to be just thirty-four, live," remarke-I an elderly gentleman to a friend as they were passing the Kennard House, and the person addressed turning ERE is the secret. He handles all the reports of births, con­ about saw the well-known form of Colonel Stoughton Bliss, occu­ H taining the correct ages of the parents, and some of them pying his usual seat in the corridor. "Why, what's the matted" are mighty interesting reading. The discrepancies in'the ages of' asked the person addressed. The Ilrst speaker went on to say that the parents are sometimes quite funny. The other day, he received \ in 1860, Stoughtun Bliss, who was Grand Commander of the Cleve­ a return of a birth giving the father's age as sixty.nine and the la1ld lodge or the Sons Of Malta, indul:ed him to join, "and," he mother's as twenty-two, and five minutes had hardly elapsed be­ added, "I shall never furget the night of my initiation, if I live fore another came in, in which the father's age was nineteen and to be a thousand years old." the mother's thirty-eight. The publication of the names or ,those people with their ages would make mighty interesting re~ding. ~1l E~ the gentleman oecame reminiscent, and told stories of 1 the or,::anizati01, which nearly thirty years ago created such ERE is a rather peculiar incident which happened in a Payne a sen,ation, and whil:h was finally exposed in Frll1lk Leslie's. H avenue car a day or two since. A letter carrier sat in the "Nearly every business and professional man in town of any note," car assorting the mail he had ~vidently taken out of the boxes he said, "was a son of Malta, and I could name many a solid busi­ along the route, and looking at a postal card he suddenly halted, ness man of to-day, who got more real, ,solid enjoyment out 01 the turned it around and r~ad the other side. He then looked up, and LlI"f;anization than the rising generation:of to·day has any idea of. strange as it may seem, the writer of the postal sat opposite him, General Barnett was a member, so was George-·W. Gardner, Col. and he smilingly handed it to him, saying: "Here',. a postal you William Edwards, Mr. Cowles, of the Leader, was among the mailed this morning and there's no address, on it, how are we to most enthusiastic of the members, and unless I am greatly mistaken, know where to send it?" The gentleman took a fountain pen out Editor J. H. A. Bone, then of the HeraM, now of the Plain Dealtr, of his pocket, supplied the missing address, and with a "Thanks," was one of the ruling spirits." handed the poslal back to the letter carrier. Queer that out of a population of 265,000, those two men should happen to meet at TTORNEY JOHN J. McCORMICK is one of the young law­ the right time and in the right place. A yers of the city, and like all lawyers, he read Blackstone in an attorney's office oefore he s~arterl in for himself. Judge E. J. " WHEN I was a boy," remarked AssistantFlre Chief Wal- Blandin was his instructor, and McCormick gained many valuable lace the other day, "I believe that I was the poorest points from him. On one occasion. Judge Blandin was retained little fellow in town and never had a cent for anything. George by some larJ;e corporation on a complicated question or law. He Gloyd and I were boys together, and the nearest I ever came to asked McCormick to look it up, and after the latter finished his having a good time was to go to minstrel shows with him. George work, the jud~e gave him a lesson in charging. "Now," said he, got his ticket, and I stayed outside until it was all over, and then "what ought I to charge this corporation for this advice?" Young we would go home together and he'd tell me all about it. When McCormick, after considering the matter very carefully, said: "I I grew up to be a man, I vowed that if I ever had boys \ilf my own ~hould think $5 would be enough." "Guess again," said the they shouldn't want for legitimate enjoyment while I have a dollar judge. "Wdl, say $10." The sum of $25 was finally reached, in my pocket. Children are more sensitive than grown people, and and when McC'lrmick said that that was about as high as he could tlothmg hurts them more than to see their companions enjoying go, the judge said: "Young man, you've got a good deal to learn themselves while they are unable to join them." yet. Advke to such a large corporation wouldn't be worth anr­ thing if you didn't charge them at least $500. Charge enough, my ENERAL CHARLES SARGENT was a power in his younger boy, charge enough, they'll think all the more of you." G days, and his influence as an editorial writer of the late 'lemented Cleveland Herald was considerable. After leaving Cleve­ HERE are more ways than one of beating his satanic majesty land, he'became one of the editors or the Cincinnati Enquirer, and T around the bush. The ladies of the Women and Children's later on had charge of the Washington' bureau of that paper. Hospital Association are giving dinners (or charitable purposes, in He was overtaken by ill luck, lost his voice, and to-day he is sell­ a vacant store on Euclid avenue, and near the door sits a young ing books on the subscription plan. Sargent as a book agent is as girl selling cigars. In order to sell cigars it is necessary to buy a persistent as he was talented as an editorial writer, but. the fact government iicense at a cost of $2.40 but, the ladies did not feel that he cannot talk above a whisper tells aeainst him. ' TOWN TOPICS. 6 I 1· \ ~ /1, ~ \ 1\ AN ANTE MOR. TEM HOP£' \ \ \ HE:'II I alll JcaJ, allJ in lilY. grave, \ \ W I hope my weeping folks will see That roots of trees, which o'cr nle wave, Don't grow way Jown anJ tickle llIe. ,

~ HE late Mr. Blank was .such a kind man," . l said Mrs, Blank, relernng to ber recently ---:;-:-"_ _ deceased husband, .. he used to give me -~ such lovely presents, See this beautiful .--. ring he gave me, with the big solitairt> diamond in the middle, and all the lit! Ie solitaires round it."

ALMOST AS HAD. 1 lI" 1" 1' I III IRST TRAVELER (1(1 man wi/It wholll 11/;' II(/d J(O/'tlj!ol (/(­ F quain/ance): You have consumption, you say? SECOND TRAVELER: No, I said I had suffered from l'ullmanary trouble. You see I traveled in a sleeper last night. PASTOR: A!"ll WHAT WOULD YOII J.IKE TO GI\'E FIRST TRAVELER: O! YOI'R PASTOR FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESE:\T? ROLLO (who loves !lis pastor): A PIIO:\O<;RAl'H. PASTOR: A PHONOGRAPH! WHY A lilOi\O(;RAPH~ A G1{EAT ~luRAI. SHuw.-Elliot F. Shepard, ROLLO: BECAUSE PAPA SAW YUU !.IKE TO IIEAK YOURSELF TAU,.

BETWEEN TWO FIR.ES"

DlTOR: That performance at the Opera Hou.se E Monday night was the worst fraud I ever WIt­ • .c:.:..-_ , nessed, yet I see your article puffs it up to the skies, PRAMATIC CRITIC: I had to, The Company will be here all the week, and the manager said if I printed a word against them he'd come around with a gun, EDITOR: I see, Well, it's always wise to keep on the safe side. OFFICE BOY (rushing in): Big mob .at the dual' goin' to shoot the dramatic critic. CRITIC (weald)'): I-I never thought of that. They must be the audience.

" YES," said Major Carter, "the Colonel is gone! Kentucky never had a nobler son. And to think of that teeming brain, that throbbing heart­ . now food for the worms!" " And to think of the habits those worms must be forming," broke in an ignoble auditor from the North; .. everyone of them intoxicated as long as the Colonel lasts,"

• HOTEL PROPRIETOR: Sorry, sir, but you will --"'''''\.'D;L'''''~'\''- 'have to leave the house, I hear you were seen kissing the lady you talked to so long on the piazza, last night, and such things are not allowed here. WHAT'S THE MATTER, MAN? \VHAT ARE YOU LAUt;HING AT ~ GUEST (indignantly): It's a slander, sir! I didn't WHY IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT THE NAVE OF A CHURCH IS THE kiss her, and I can prove it. Why! that lady was my Rlt;HT-HO\VER FOR A REPENTANT SINNER. wiJl!/ TOWN TOPICS. 7 M7El- -' ..... '--= = -=

~-

BROTHERLY LOVE.

SI-:E RICIl,\I:!11 III': IS (;'ll\";;'() 111"\'10: 'I'\\'EI.\'E ~III.ES THIS WI:'lTER NICET TO GET SOME ronl DROPS FOR IIIS I.ITTI.E HIWTIIER, \l'IHl J~ ~Il'K. EI.I,A IS \\'('1'11 JlI~l. EI.I,:\ IS NO'l' HIS SlsrER. RWIlARIl IS NOW 1101.1>1\\; ll:'/ 'I'll Till,: 1I0KSES \\'1'1'11 /lUTIl AlDIS. :\, 1.1'1''1'1.1-: 1.,,\ TEl: , \\'111,:,/ TilE ;\1(lU~ (;ETS BEI.OW TilE IlUIUI.()~. O:\E 1\101 '\'11.1. HE SI'I-'I,'II.'II':'\'I' I'll:: '1'11.-\'1' I'I'RI'OSE,

HE: W ASN'T ,LV ARTIST.

.. B'COSH, I guess I must be a hayseed arter all. \'ou see I'd hearn Jim Butts tell abeout some beefsteak all' lllush­ roollls he'd had up in York and heo\\' good it \\'as, so when I wellt up to see abeout I hat car-load of onions we'd consigned to \\'ashington Market I jest made up my mind I'd hev some. "I went ill an eatin' house an' told the \\'ait­ f'r I \\'anted some beefsteak alld lIlushrooms. If e shored a pencil all' a piere 0' paper at me. "•What's that for?' sez 1. a\'e to write yer order,' sez he. an' \\'alked off to t'other side of the room. Gosh c1urned ef I knew ho\\' to write mushrooms. Jim saki mushrooms looked jes' like toadstuls, so I wrote beefsteak an' drew a picture of a toadstul. .. I handed it to the waiter an' asked him to bring me them t\\'o. .. . \'essir;' sez he. .. I Ie marched off ,,;ith it an' what do you s'pose the durned fool ~-~::.:. brou~~ht me ? t~\.\\""~" ' .. A beeksteak and a umbrella." HIGH LO, JACK, AND THE GA~IE.

" WHAT is johnson's business?" .. I think he's a oook-keeper-at least. he ne"er brought back the one he borrowed of me last Summer." 8 TOWN TOPICS.

EuclId Avenue Presbyterian church. The reception will take place from 8 to II at No. 729 Prospect street. The Cleveland Grays are making txtensive preparations for a ball to be given at the S~illman at an early date. Preparations are also on (oot for the annual minstrel entertainment at the Opera House. Rehearsals are being helrl almost weekly. Mr. and Mrs. George W. Cady gave a dancing party, Monday, AR from being at for their daughter, Mrs. Spinney, of Boston. F rp.st, the troubles The Misses Luce, of Kennard street, entertained at progressive of the Algonquin club euchre, Thursday evening. have just begun. Two Miss Higbee has issued cards (or a dancing party for next weeks ago, mention was Tuesday. made of the relentless Mrs. S. A. Fuller and Miss Fuller give a ladies' reception next I~ blackballer, who persistently ob­ Tuesday afternoon. ~ jected to every new name pro­ ,! posed, and in consequence of CHRONIQUE. whose persIstency the organic law of the club was altered, so Un temps magnifique, on ne saurait gucre que c' est Noel. Beau that the number of "negati ie" solei I; seulement ne pas oublier que la proprete, de nos rues laisse votes required to reject was in- beaucoup it desireI'. En parcourant la ville, nous voyons une foule creased to three. Since then, the club has had another seance to aux magasins, multitude de personnes it la poste surtout, presque act upon sjxteen names proposed for membership, and of the six­ impossible de circuIer, il nous semhle que dans rle pareilles cir­ teen, eleven received at least three" negative" votes apiece, while constances la direction des postes devrait ctablir plusieurs bureaux; the remaining five were invested with the club halo, and admitted nOllS etions obliges d'attelldre plus d'une demie-heure pour ex- to the charmed circle. At this rate of progressive ratio in black­ , pedier quelques paquets; un soil' nous avous assiste iJ. un meeting balling, it may soon come to be a necessity to make three affirm­ politique concernant la dignite senatoriale; ce qui, {[notre avis ative votes the required standard for admission. The Algonquin ne semit nullement necessaire, si comme en France, les senateurs Club was organized as a dancing club, with a $15 subscription fee, etaient elus par les electeurs. but it is intended to make a permanent organization out of it. Une surprise bien agreable'ponr Ie 11l0nde dramatique! Repre. Whether it will be able to live is a question that must be decided sentation par Ie Grand Salvini sur les planches du Lyceum. J'ai by the gentlemen who are in the black-balling business. vu Salvini dans Othello. Le grand talent de Salvini est tout de Mrs. Judge C. E. Pennewell, of Willson avenue, gave a dinner, mesure, de finesse, d'analyze. II n' a pas un geste inutile, pas un Thursday evening, for her son, Mr. C. F. Pennewell, of Detroit, eclat de voix qui detonne. II a etudie l'tune humaine, il en a~alyze who is visiting her. les nuances, il est un homme qui pleure. Mais Oil il a ete superbe Preparations are on foot for a very eleg&n t bachelors' ball on a surtout, c'est au dernier acte lorsqu'il.meurt, je nai jamais _vu most elaborate and magnificent plan, to be given either at the mourir personne ainsi au theatre. Salvini gradue ses derniers Union Club or the Stillman. The date and place will he decided moments de moribond avec une telle verite, qu'il terri fie la salle. at a meeting to be held New Year' Day, in the Union Club. II est vraiment llli momant avec ses yeux qui se voilent. sa face The annual Union Cluh reception will be given next Monday qui blemit et se decompose, ses membres qui se raidissent. Les evening. cloges d' Emile Zola ne sont nullement exageres. Miss Marion Parsons, of Prospect street, gave a breakrast, Fri· Remercions la Direction pour avoir engage cet incomparable day at 12, to Miss Proctor, who is visting with her. Othello. Miss Nettie Stone, of Hunlington street, will give a ladies' reo MACCHIAVELLI. ception, from 4 to 6 1'. ~I. to-day. Miss Clark will 'give a dancillg party at the Stillman, Friday, BISHOP GILMOUR on the street would not be taken for a January 3. priest. He is rather tall and of slight build, and genuine, Miss Ella Hoyt gave a dancing party to the members of the Yale downright good nature can be seen in the sparkle of his eyes and his Glee club, Wednesday evening. intellectual face. Jnst the slightest tinge of the accent of the land - The second of the series of rose balls will take place on New of Bobbie Burns can be detected in his speech, and he would Years' eve, at theresidence of Mrs. J. V. Painter. sooner converse about books, of which he has a splendid collection, Mr. George H. Stone left for Thomasville, Ga., on Friday. than upon any other topic. His hair is gray and his form is erect His family is still in town, but expect to take up their permanent :Vhile the bishop is willing to be interviewed by reporters on sub: residence in Thomasville soon. Jects of general public interest, he di likes being talked to by news. Mr. James H. Rhodes left for Washington yesterday to attend paper men on matters that concern him personally. the meeting of the American Historica'J Society. The Yale alumni dinner was given at the Union Club Friday SNORING room is the latest. It is said that a local archi. night. A . tect l.las about perfected the plans for an elegant up.town Mrs. A. T. Osborn entertained the Yale College Glee club with manSIon, WIth a s~lOre-proof chamber attached to the dwelling a dancing party on Thursday uight. sep.arated by a bndge from th(l. main house. This conclusion was Mr. W. B. Hale has just r~turned from a trip to New York. arnved a.t ~y the wife, art.er years of deliberation and advice by M.rs. George H. Warmington and the Misses Warmington will her phYSICian. She i extremely nervous and suffers from insomni~ receIve next Thursday evening, from 7 to 10. and after considerable changing about of rooms and beds't ' Cards are out (or the marriage of Miss Mabel Wills Adams, f I h ., 1 was ounc t at the. husb~nd's snore blasts penetrated the thickest walls, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. James E. Adams, to Mr. Alexander so tha.t wh~n It w~s decided to build a new house, the architect Cathcart, on Tuesday eve;ling, January 7, at 7:30 P. M., in the ~as gIven lIlstructIOns to build a snore.prod chamber. TOWN TOPICS. 9 SALLIE D'BRASSE. looked for the ghost. Anyway, I should have felt like a black ~heep surrounded by all that pallid splendor. CLEVELAND belle, who recently fig. lit * ured as principal at a pretty church It is a surprising thing that the• custom of having "receiving" wedding, bore the nickname of "Lady" or .. at home" days is not more general among Cleveland women. during her childhood. It was a well· There are a number or ladies who have a certain day of the week deserved tribute, her friends said, to engraved on their visiting cards, signifying when they will be at her winning manners ll,nd dignified home to callers, but th~y are comparatively few. And many of though gracious bearing. And she them are brides, who expect to rec·eive everyone and so are obliged hasn't outgrown tlie title,-as anyone to take a day off once a week for the ordeal. But it certainly is a who noticed her easy, graceful, self· very convenient custom. It simplifies and systematizes the matter possession (and many of the spectators did speak of it) during the of making calls to a great degree. And it converts the somewhat trying ordeal of the ceremony, will testify. stiff practise of formal calling to a really pleasant occupation. For I was reminded by the occal>ion of the wedding, of a young lady if you drop into Mrs. M.'s on one of he~" at home" days, you whom I met when traveling last Summer. She sat opposite me know you'll find other lildies there-mutual acquaintances-a cup on the cars, with a feminine companion, and I noticed that when· of tea or chocolate, perhaps-the house in company order, Mrs. ever the trainboy offered her his wares, with the usual plea of, M. in her prettiest tea·gown, and a chance to hear all the feminine " Books, lady?" or, "Banan's, lady?" the girls would look at each gossip that's going. It is a great convenience to Mrs. M. as well other and smile audibly. They had, neither of them, passed the as to you. No danger of her getting "caught" by unexpected age of gigglehood, as the writer of a late magazine story terms it. guests, and the maid is spared the trouble of telling many a fib in I scraped an acquaintance with the maidens finally, and they the shape of a" not at home." Refreshments are not at all neces­ seemed glad 01 a chance to explain the cause of their hilarity. sary, but they give Mrs. M. sncQ a nice chance to show off her One of them told me that the other's nal1U was Lady, and it struck dainty new china, her Russian sall}ovar, and her tiny gold after· them. as very amusing to hear the boy add,ess her so familiarly. dinner spoons. Let us follow Mrs. M.'s example and make the I t was only .l pet name that her nurse had given h,~r in her baby· calling custom a delightful recreation instead of an irksome duty. hood, but it clung to her until she became fond of the title, and Of course, there are drawbacks to the reception plan. A young preferred it to her good old·fashioned name. The latter had much married lady who receives Tile~days, says that half 01 her invita­ more character and sense to it in my estimation, but of course I tions are sure to come on that day, and of course she is obliged to didn't say so. remain" at home." And there she must stay like Casabianca at Miss" Lady" said that her sobriquet had occasioned her family his post, though never a caller comes-for that's what does happen much amusement, when they were traveling in Europe the year sometimes when some social gaiety keeps one's friends away. Then previous. She always signed her name on the hotel registers, as there are conflicting receptIOn days. Mrs. B. says she never meets Lady Marston-it wasn't Marston, but something that sounded just Mrs. M. only in other people's houses, because they receive on the p.s nice. Then the hotel people would stare. At some places the same days. But the advantages outweigh the inconveniences, anti servants would address her as "my lady," and she received much I, for one, think" at home" days are a beautilul and beneficent more attention than the other members of the party. And all on instituiion. account of her supposed right to l4 coat of arms and a place in the **iii Blue Book 01 England! Tarpaulin sailor hats, the real varnish:d waterproof article, are * * all the rage East. The first one introduced came Irom London High teas are more fashionable* than ever, but high·colored teas and wa£ worn with a cute little reefer jacket. It was a month be· ~the pink, blue or yellow tea of last year-are going out. The fore the hat could be duplicated here, as the block and tarred can­ gastro·chromatic struggle is subsiding, and the afternoon tea has vas had to be sent from the other ~ide. And then they couldn't relegated itself to an informal gathering of pleasant p~ople, who be manufactured half fast enough. They are very smart and jaunty, can find something to chat about besides the originality of the and have been just the thing for the melancholy autumn and decorations. In New York, the color mania had reached such a lugubrious December that has afflicted New York as well as Cleve· point that they tied the handles of dish·covers with satin bows of land. The only trimming used on the tarpaulin is a band of Ius­ the ruling shade. I think the matter is overdone in such cases­ treless silk, but there is a difference in the style and shape of the and who likes overdone dishes? hats, and a real chic article costs just five dollars. A society leader of that city evidently shares my opinion, for .- They ~ay the tarpaulin fever will soon reach Cleveland. Then, she recently gave a white dinner. But perhaps she erred by going TOPICS, look out for Sallie in her shiny sailor! to the opposite extreme. They say that colors have a great effect *• on our spirits. In fact, there is a color cure where nervous patients • What is a snipping party? • are treaten with blue, victims of melancholia with bright red, and I heard of one the other day but all I could find out was that it so on. And I believe a table relieved with some color would pro· is an afternoon party for young ladies, and they must go prepared mote cheerful talk and good appetite much sooner t.han a severely to snip. Now what do they snip? Fancy-work, bangs, paper for colorless display, where even the silver used was of the frosted, or pillows-what? The title is delightfully vague. Who will snip "·white," variety. At the white dinner, the only flowers were the cord that hi nds the mystery? orchi.ds and white violets, the service was of purest Royal Derby, SALLIE D'BRASSE. and even the menu partook of the general lack of color. The soups and fish were white, and the darker dishes were smothered EPUTY SHERIFF JOE GOLDSOLL walked into the Opera in cream gravies. The white grapes were tied with mo;rt ribbons, D House vestibule a few days ago, and the moment he put the puddings were covered with preserven orange·blossoms, and his foot into the place, every electric light went out. " Joe, you're the pastry was all 0,1 the frosted order. a hoodoo," said Officer Hicks, who happened to be there. "I II makes one shiver ~o think of such a chilling affair. I believe know it," replied Goldsoll, "and the only wonder is that the I should have thought of Banquo's feast if I had been there, and chandelier didn't drop on my he"ad." TOWN T =S. --_.-.:- . .-=---.-=-...:.:::=:=:-

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CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR THE MATRIMONIALLY INCLINED Santa CI aU5 : HERE YOU HAVE THEM FOR EVERY TASTE'.' TAKE YOUR CHOICE. 12 TOWN TOPICS.

the same old chime of bells: the mother-in-law, the boarding house, poker, base-hall, the lodge. Now Mr. Hoyt is a modern Pyg. malion, ~ith a touch of the showman, so he vivifies these puppets, of the press, and places them on the boards of the stage. There is no especial skill in his waving of the transforming wand: success lies in the matter that is experimented upon.' I speak now only of his avowed farces. His latest work, "The Midnight Bell," is so far in advance of them, that it is a formal separation, If not a divorce a vinculo matrimonii from his first style. "A Hole in the Ground" is about the weakest in his series of

~" E st~b'" \I h!lse mission is to farces. Its central idea is funny, as are many of tbe corrobor· f huld the mirror :up to nature, ative de'tails j but there is not enough variety of incident, and so . clues not nlln:t this week, at least the farce occasionally grows monotonous• Illl:ally, the abiding spll"it of Mr. Frank Lawton repeats his clever performance of the Statiott Christmas merriment. At all the Agmi, and his whistling is the best of the introduced features. Mr. theatres sa\'e the Lyceum, where Stanley does not make as much of the Stranger as did Richards, one of Hoyt's rollicking farces his predecessor. Miss Katie Hart is a good dancer, but no actress. forms the bill, the at tractions are •*-:Ii strained III sentiment and full of Timelessness is as essential to success as merit. The soil must suffering, shame and crime. Still be ripe or the seed will not germinate. as Dame Nature htrself is not in entire touch with Christmas, giv­ When Dion Boucicault produced his Belle Lamar at Booth's ing us all sorts of \\ eather but that appropr iute to the season, a Theatre, New York, a few years after the close of the war, he was too great harmony on the part of art cannot be consistently insisted in advance of his time, and the sentiment of the day would not reo upon. ceive a play founded on incidents too recent and terrible for mimic Successes are prolific. If they do not breed other successes, presentation. Public feeling has now changed j the old spirit of still they produce imitations. It is easy to trace the genesis of fraternity bet ween the once opposed sections is abroad, and sc. the " The Great 1\1 et ropolis," for it sprang frllm com mercial desires drama of the civil war comes into its inheritance. It has had no rather than artistic necessity. It is an echo of •• The Still Alarm," hand in awakening or developing this sentiment, Lut it is none the and, like that, is buill around a situation. less willing to profit by it, and we now have a vast array of war When Messrs. Jlssr,p and Teal sat down to write a play, or dramas that are accepted with equal fervor on hoth sides of the rather to accrete one, a i-ingle problem presented itself-the occu­ Maion and Dixon line. pation of their hero. We cannot, they said, fall foul of the sailor, "The Blue and the Gray" is a play of this character, and It is the soldier, the policeman or the fireman, for thrse are already in the be~t work that its author, the late Elliot Barnes, ever wrote. service to other pens. At.la~t they hit upon the IT,ember of the It is by no means a great play, but it has a conventional excel. life·saving crew and the problem was solved. He was new to the lence that makes it a popular one. And, a still further fact in ~ts stage, and there, as in algebra, the unknown qUllllity is a potent favor, it has the benefit of a cast better than that usually seen in factor, and he was not only heroic in him~elf, but elastic enough the popular.priced theatres. to stretch out to the rather gigantic proportinns of a hero of the Mr. W. H. Murdock plays the part of the Union hero with drama. virility, and those two brilliant character actors, Sam Ryan and J. wiih this solitary spile of interest and novelty as a four.dation, W. McAndrews, aid largely in the success of the play. Miss Mar. the authors have built up a Uuddesink structure out of the old guerite Pierce is satisfactory as Ruth, and the Mary of Miss Stella hricks and mortar of the demolisr.ed melodramas of the past. It Barr is in a mild key, but pleasing. is cheap and tawdry, and human nature is almost crowded out uf ...

[MUSICAL MELANGE. including an impromptu of her own. Mrs. Wells' playing was favorably commented upon, and she will find a welcome should she .~ ":'.J HE Vocal Society, following a universal finally make Cleveland her home• custom in England, and one that ob- . tains quite largely in the East, always gives a Holiday production of Han­ ART NOTES. del's great oratorio" The Messiah." 'DEER EDDYTUR-i waz doun to cleave·Land the other Day This year it will be given at Music and herd you had stopt printin Art nots becawz you cuddrat Hall, on next Monday evening, Decem­ gil any wun to rite urn that wazzunt preggudised and unfare, bein ber 30th. The regular forces of the ackuainied with all the Artests and likin sum and hatin uthers ov society have been largely increased, urn. nou i aint ackuainted with any ov urn so i shant be preggu­ and the chorus will probably contain dised against any won nor uofare. ov corse you1 want to no what about 200 well· trained voices. The opertunytys ive had for Art eggukashun, tho ive herd tel that wun orchestra will also be enlarged in a proportionate degree. Mr. dont want much Art nollige to be a good kritick. Wal, ive taken 1\~lyrnn \Y. Whitney, the great basso, is an established feature of a turm and a haf of paintin lessuns ov a yung wommun that the Vocal Society's production of II The Messiah," and he will be studid a cupple ov weex at won ov the cleave·Land Art skools and heard, as usual, on this occasion. Miss Edmands, the contralto, besids i went to the Sentennyial Selebrashun and to the detroit is said to have a voice particularly adapted to oratorio music. The Exposishnn and last we~k i waz dOlln to cleave-Land and vizetid other soloists will he Mrs. Carrie lJishop·Selares and Mr. Fred all the picktchure stores and artests studyos, so im postid you see Jenkins, of this city. az well az onpreggudised. Ths Al/Itri(flIt Mllsitimt is I he best musical paper in the world, Mebby youl remembur a picktchure of SqutYYi/s that was at the anri its issue of December 21 the largest and best it has ever pub­ Amature exybishun at a Soopeerior streat 'Art Store last winter, lished. The policy of the paper is not in favor of separate' Christ­ and whitch atracktid mutch ateshun I herd. Wal, i pantid it all mas numbers, so the regular issue before Christmas was enlarged alone from a kromo whitch i hired at a Paint Store. i am ecceed­ il~ustrated, to 110 pages, profusely and with three large pictorial ingly dezirrus to prossykute my Art Studdys in sum ov the Art· supplements. The reading maller, t(W, is exceptionally good, and skools ov your butyful sity. i havunt desidid whitch wun to go to covers every uranch of musical thought, with interesting incursion yit. when i waz in to the paint store lookin oveer the kromos and into other liel·ls. Mr. John C. F'reund resurrpcts his amusing ac­ byin a tube ov carmine 'paint the boss, sroze twaz him, for he count oi his experiences in search of a competent vocal teacher, seemed to own evrything and was awfully polIight-wal, He give publi~hed originally when he was the editor of Music alld Drama j me sum surklers ov sevrul skools and said they waz all good but ~Ir. ~ontributes J. Travis Q,ligg a pleasing little song, and Stephen He didnt no whitch won waz the best. When i got home and red Fiske permeales the whole paper with his dramatic reviews, his um they all klamed to be the best in the sity or in the kuntry for recollections, and he even drops into the fictional line with a that matter. novelelle. All who respect high-minded, courageous and competent Won ov urn, whitch they say is doin purty well, iz run by a ~ill journalism rejoice at the success which this Christmas issue " Dean "-by the name of Wells-i dont no what that-meam. but shows that the Allun"call Alusiciall has won. spose its some Inglish name theyve imported from the East. Won It is quite probable that Gilbert and Sullivan's new opera, "The or the uthers are run by a Direcktur by the name of Smith witch Gondoliers," may be heard at one of the local theatres before iz alltugeather too plane a nayme fur a artyste-and the uther is the close of the amu,sement season. Its presentation in London direckted by a Prinsipul called Mr. Cave-e.gnaw. Tney say he has been attended with a phenomenal success, and it is said to be has studdid a grate while in YouRup and has had a picktchure iu fully as charming as "The Mikado." The first American produc­ the" Ceylon." i here proff. Wells has been abroad also and sells tion of "The Gondoliers" will take place early in January, after lots of water cullers in New York, but Mr. Smith acks more learned which it will be sent on the road. and experiuncd than eyether'of the others, so i find it hard to de­ The Scotch people of the city are on the tiptoe of excitement side about thayer skools. over the (,1l110US Balmoral C.hoir at the Music Hall, next Monday j should be mutch obleeged to you if you if you wood kindly night, in Mr. Stewart's "Star Course." The choir has a great advize me in this matter, also if you kan give me the posishun of reputation in the old country, and has been drilled to a marvelous Art Kritick ov your paper at $3.00 a weak as that wood pay my state of perfection. The programme is made up of thos6 tuneful bord at the" Wommens Home." Hoppin to here from you faver­ Scotch songs that have been sung for years and will never die. ubly I remane Yours Trewly Mr. W. W. Thomas, a Cleveland singer, has won for himself a '\ MIRANDY STF.BBINS. prominent and deserved place in New York musical circles. He CLA Y BANKE disembel' 27. is the solo basso and choir director of one of the leading churches there; drills other societies, and has the musical direction of an amateur opera society, which has already produced a number of HY is it that a lodge of Elks cannot prosper in this city? the lighter operas with great succcess. - W The old lodge was killed by an overdose of respectability, The Christmas music this year' was unusually fine at all the and while the organization now in existence prospered at the start churches, and those which make a special feature of this branch and continued to prosper for some time, many of its members of service put forth unusual efforts. Most of the programmes will soon lost interest in the lodge, and social sessions are not as plenti. be repeated to-morrow. ful as they were. A new plan has recently been proposed, which, The uew Calvary churdl ,organ will he form >lly " opened" on if successful, will help the lodge to its feet again. The scheme is , the evening of January 2, by the noted organi"t, Frederick Archer, to get ,the consent of fifty business men to have their namt's pro­ assisted by Mrs. S. C. Forc\ and Homer A. Moore. posed at 'the same time at a reduced initiation fee •. The constitu­ Last S'unday'afternoon Mrs. Prof. 'Wells gave, hy invitation, tiod forbids areduction c;>f the fee, and the matter will have to be an informal organ recital at the Firft M. E. church. The selec­ placed before the grand lodge. ' It is thought that the grand lodge tions rendered "were from Handel, Haydn, Mosckowsky, Roubier, will not grant the petition. TOWN TOPICS. '4

,.~ . . IR ARTHUR SULLIVAN thought that he had put .~ , his best work into "The Yeoml'n of the Guard," but ,A-'~I for some reason or other the public did not endorse :1) the composer's opinion of his own work. Mr. Gilbert's '~:t; libretto for that opera was unquestionably stupid, and .: :1\ the ::Idmirers of the two gentlemen feared that they had .", I. \\Titten themselves out. The news concerning their ,! most recent work dispels this fear as the London critics Ii unite in pronouncing" The Gondoliers" a very success- ~ ful production. The opera will be seen in this country early in January, Messrs, Gilbert and Sullivan-who, by the way, are very shre"Yd business mCIl­ having arranged for its simul­ taneous production by two or three American companies, allot- 1'~~r.tI,.. ting exclusive territory to each. It is said that" The Gondoliers .. resembles "Pinafore" very closely. W,.;~ A C0. CLLiSlOi'I/ T1L\T DOES i'l/OT FOLLOW, ------

so THOl;GHTFUL I SHE: I \\'0:\'1' TROUBLE YO TO HR!:\G :lIE ANY SUPPER MR DOllGETT' JUS'!' JjuIN" 'IE ' ·' I ... u" A (,I ASS OF WATER PLEASE. (A nd we all Imow IIOW easy" that is.)' " TOWN TOPICS, 15

"Hillo! here's Ma's "What wouldn't I "Good j:rracious,\\'hat­ Tn three daysthe boy's face He closed with a local ,Where he is now appearinj:r :\lagic Hair Dew, war­ r.i\'e for a set of mOils­ ever's bust nllt on thaI got a cascade of old guld he Barnum to exhibit his son. nightly to awe-stricken crowds ranted to wrench ;( tachers) " (Applies hlessed chilrl's face?" cOllld brush hiS boots wilh, aged nine, as ,. The Hirsute a melancholy example of jll\'~: ,;trongdownouto' a hil­ Magic Hair Dew co­ said Ma, entering- sud­ lIis fond ,yet stern parent Infant Phenomenon uf the nile CUriOSIty, iiarrl hall in IOminutes," pious!y with brush), denly, sl'ccclJly dlagnoscd the cast!, Backwoods,' ,

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fM BUT IN LUVE WITH YOU,

HY are my cheeks so Lurning hot? W Why can I not undo These biting- bands-I'm mad? I'm not! I'm but in love with you,

Why docs the guard stand 'ntching there? 'Why are your words so few? Why all these tears - why all this prayer? I'm but ill love with you.

\Vhy is Illy mimi one awful hlot And my heart so simply true? Ij. iIfI'!l11i /HiIV' \Vhy do you go - 1'111 mad? I'Ill not: I'm but in love with you. \ 'I ,j! 10m flail. "\;1' I ~" i( I SURE PROOF.

f .. -r I' -~~~// ED: That couple must be just coming home - T from the honeymoon. ,,' // NED: Oh, no; they have been married about , WHAT'S THAT CROWn DOING UP THERE AT TH" DEPOT? STRA NGER: a year. I notice he is beginning to look at other ~ A TIVE: 0, NUTHIN' MUCH. You SEE, OUR FOLKS ARE GETTING INTERESTED girls. i:-; CI\'IL SERVICE REFORM, AND THEy'VE llEGUN llY LYNCHII'G THE TICKET SELLER, 16 tOWN TOPICS.

when will I get that street car?" he muttered when, looking up the lamp, he plainly saw the word" Broadway" upon it. "Wel·I," he chuckled, "Ish it poshible that I am horne already? Thash /itl~tk~ Broadway slIre enough," and staring at the post office he added. "and theresh th' insane asylum; but where the devil are the roil­ -=-==-_-=:=::-:--:::.:~ ==:=..::.:~._---=-.....:.==::-...... :::..:.....=---_. --==.=-- -- ing mills?" When will Engineer Rice remove that sign?

SSISTANT ClTY CLERK DALTON was sho~ing. a friend A about his office the other day,' and he took hIm mto the vault to explain the wonders of the city's archives, when bang! went the immense iron door, and Councilman Faulhaber, who fooled with the combination accidentally, locked them in. Faul­ haber turned pale and imagined all sorts of horrible results. He hurried to Clerk Delamater, and he in turn rusheo aronnd for the combination. In the meantime, Faulhaber shouted to the im­ prisoneo men and asked them to keep up their courage as help was at hand. Delamater finally came with the combination, aud Fanl­ haber rushed in to see whether his victims were still alive. "What's the trouhle?" asked Dalton. "You were locked'in the vault," exclaimed Faulhaber." "Oh, was I?" said Dalton, "I didn't know it. I was showing my (riend around in the vault whcn you interrupted me."

EORGE II. .SMITH, one of the architects eng~ged on th,~ G Arcade huIldll1g', loves to tell a good story. ,. '\ ears ago, he said, one day this week, "whell I lived in Philadelphia, I tisetl to know an O .. thodox,Methodist minister by the name of Willi:l111 narnes. He was an eccentric sort of man, and was known gener­ ally a~JOut trl\VI1 as B lIy Ihrl1~s. His wife had occ,lsioll on:<: 10 ask him for money for a new bureau, and when he gave it to her instead of investing it in a bureau, she bought a fashioMble bonnet. nilly didn't like it a bit, and he vowed he would get even. 0.1 MONG the best-kno.wn business men of this town is J. C. the very next Sunday, the preacher had just taken up his position A McWatters, the resIdent partner o( E. R. Hull & Co. Dur­ on the pulpit, ready (or the sermon, when his wife entered, Walk­ inl{ his twenty years' residence in Cleveland, he has earned (or ing down the aisle, with the new bonnet on her head. As she ap­ himself and his firm an enviable reputation for reliability and (air proached her p~w, he attracted everybody's attention by:'exclaim­ dealing, ami no employer was ever better liked and more highly ing, 'Here comes Mrs. Bal;nes', wearing a new bureau on her respected than he. Personally," Mac," as his (riends call him, is head.' made of material a yard wide, and all wool. As they say in the W~st, "he'll stand without hitching "-which means that he is a " BARNES' head was as bald as an egg, and he was wont to clever, generous and genial gentleman, and a favorite among his wear a wig. Some of the brethren and sisters of the con· host of (riends. His employes put their heads together, Christmas gregation objected tn this worldly deception and he determined to eve and surprised him with a handsome p.orlrait of himself, which make an end of it. One Sunday, just as the anti·wig campaign is here reproduced. was at its height, he steRped up to the pUlpit ready for his sermon. R. WOOD, member of the library board, is not in favor of Be(ore opening, he grabbed his wig with his right hand, pulled it M utilizing one of the sec:tions of the Public Square'for an art off his head, and placed it on the reading' desk. H is head was as gallery, museum and library builqing. "I am in favor," said he, devoid of hair and as polished as a plate glass miror, and every­ "of buying the tract of land now occupied by the Ursuline con­ body was surprised. 'Here,' said he, 'is Barnes without a wig. vent, on Euclid .avenue, and enough more to extend to Prospect How do you like him?' and suddenly replacing it, he added, 'and street, 2.nd to Oak Place, the alley running aloni the present library here he is with a wig. Now, you have s cen me both ways and I'll building. That's an immense territory and would cost a great deal do just as you tell me. Ifyou want me to leave it off, just say so of money, hut a magnificent city hall with plenty of room all around and I'll do it.' Not a sound was heard in the body of the church, it could be built pn the site, and the city hall should be large and the wig question was settled forever, then and there." enough to harbor one of the finest libraries in the country." OLONEL FRAZEE was in a reminiscent mood the other day LD lagson lives out in Newburg, and one night this week he C while discussing the conditiOlI of Cleveland's streets. Some O met a couple of bends down town. Some time after mid· years ago, he said, he raised quite a rumpus among residents along night they separated, and old lagson wandered about the Public Euclid avenue by causing their arrest for neglecting to shovel the Square looking for a Broadway car, but was so befuddled that he snow ofT their sidewalks. W. P. Southworth and W. G. Wilson couldn't tell a Broadway car (rom the side of a barn. In his wan. were among those arrested, and 1udge Foote e vad~d arrest by hav. derings around and about the post office, he suddeniy struck the ing his sidewalk cleaned at once. The colonel thinks that a way corner of Rockwell and Wood streets. He was very tired and out of the difficulty 01 having filthy streets is to adopt the system clung to the nearest lamp-post for support. "Oh dear, oh dear, n vogue in som(or the Eastern cities. In those cities, Albany TOWN TOPICS. and Buffalo being aT!10ng the number, people occupying business together two such distinguished actors as Jefferson and Florence, places.are responsible for ~he cleanliness of the street to the center or to surround them with such a strong array of assisting talent as line. The dirt is swept into heaps and the city sends wagons to now is seen with them. Yet every city in the country can now gather it up. A system of this sort would save the city thousands enjoy the benefit which mUSl come from the gathering together of of dollars annually. such a brilliant array of genius. It is needless to dwell upon the chr.rm of the acting of the stars, or of Mrs. John Drew, who is AJOR W. J. GLEASON was in a meditative mood the other their principal assistant. Every theatre goer has felt its force, and night, and spoke of the expense connected with the educa­ M this chance to again bask in the sunshine ('f their powers will he tion of one'~ ch.ildren. Two of his boys have had collegiate train­ taken advantage of to the fullest degree. The costumes and seen. ing for the past three and a hair years, first at St. Mary's Seminary ery will be rich and appropriate. in Maryland, and now they are at Georgetown, near Washington. Public expectation has been stimulated to a high pitch concern. " Have yOll any idea," he asked, "how much it costs to educate ing "The Wife," which comes to the Lyceum theater next week, children?" "No," replied a bystander who is childless. The and if it only meets the praise which has preceded it Irom a score major took an account be/ok from his safe and ran over an array of of sources, it will prove to be one of the most delightful plays figures. "I intend to keep my boys in college just two,and a haIr £een there this season. It was originally produced at the Lyreurn, years more. Just for the fun of the thing, I am keeping a record New York, and its phenomenal success there has been duplicated of expenses, and I know it will surprise those who never.had any on the road. The introd uction of the story begins at New port, children in college. The expense so far has been more than $5,000 and later on at Washington, depicting life in the higher socialcir. for the two boys, and I know the sum will be doubled before I c1es, in a story ful! of interest from the. very start, and blending get through with them." pathos and comeuy, in all. interesting way that holds the auditor until the end. The company that Manager Frohman will present HE reference room of the puhlic lihrary is often used as a reno in "The Wife" is a'strong one and is headed by Mrs. Berlan. d~zvous by young men and women, and all efforts to stop it T Gibbs, a society woman, who has grown into a fine actress. have proved unavailing. There was absolutely no help for it, and Others in the company are clever Etta Hawkins, Thomas Durns try as hard as they may, the library :luthoriti,es could not break it and S. Miller Kent. All the realt~tic scenes and accessories are lip. Now Ihat an addition is being made to the library, the memo hrought by the company. bers of the board are quietly fig'lring on dividing the space into two The Vaidis Sisters Compa.ny will he at the H. R. Jacobs next reading roon1', one for ladies anCi one for gentlemen. This will week. This is what a recent issue of the New York SUIl says doubtless prove to be the long looked·for remedy against flirting abou tit: " The Vaid is twin sisters and their great ~audeville com. and making appointments in the reference room. panyopened. at H. R. Jacobs' Brooklyn theater yesterclay aileI". noon to a large audience, and last even ing playerl to the fult capaci I y I-IILIP PHILLIPS, known as the singing pilgrim, is now at· of the house, stamling room being at a 'premium'at 8 o'clock. P tracting some attentilln in New York. city with his stereop· The fame of the Vaidis sisters proved a stron~ magnet, but their tican entertainments. While in this city, he failed to attract any· excellent company also had its drawing power. The feature of body's attention to his entertainments save that of a foot-pad, who the evening's en tertainmen t, of course, was the great trapeze act attacked him with a sandbag in the dead of night, somewhere on of the Vaidis sisters and the terrific dive of Lizzie Vaidis, from the 51. Clair street. This little episode hurt the "singing pilgrim's" dome of the theater into the net below. The machine trapese also feelings to such an extent, that without reporting the footpad in· proved all. interesting novelty. Carr and Tourgee in a musical act; cident to the police, he quietly folded up his canvas and packed the Mortons, in a pretty sketch; Eellac, the necromancer j Napier up his songs before the week in Music Hall was haH over, depart. and Marzello, gymnasts j John Drew, the comedian j the Sharp' ing to lar.llis and climes where sandbags are known to tradition only. leys and Bobby Ralston, the diminutive dancer, all contributed to the evening's enjoyment. The show is not an ordinary variety R. CHARLES J. SHEFFIELD, known in town as quite a performance, but is more after the style of Hermann's Transat· M wag, has just Christened Cleveland's millionaire of gum lantique Company." chewing fame the" Duke of Yucatan." Mr. Dan Mason, who comes to the Stu Theatre next week with his new play" "A Clean Sweep," is one of the best German come· COMING ATTRAC'TfONS. dians now before the public. He is genuinely funny, and has had a long training that enables him to fully utilize his humor \or stage EXT week, at the Opera House, will be diviped between the purposes. He has not been seen here for some time, but he is very N Pri mrose and West Minstrels and the Jefferson· Florence pleasantly remembered. His play, "A Clean Sweep," is said to combination. The minstrel company, which will appear on Mon­ be of a much better quality than the vehicles which comedians of day, Tuesday and Wednesday, has been re·organized since it was his cla.ss usually employ, and tll not only furnish the star with last here, and is one of the strongest now on the ruad. It is headed good chances, but to allow his support an opportunity to display by Primrost: and West, and has Bob Slavin and Barney Fagan as their talents. The company, by the way, contains some well­ side-partners in their fun-making. The specialty artists who ap­ known names. pear are well chosen. The 'Weston Brothers are famous musical ------", ------. performers, then comes Barber, the cyclist, and Marco and Rela, the wonderful contortionists. Barney Fagan has arranged some T ifE attention of the public is respect­ new dances. fully invited to the elegant displaJ! On Friday and Saturday nights and at the Saturday matinee, of diamonds and tlte large assortment oj "The Rivals" will be presented by the Jefferson.Florence C,)m­ choice Holiday gifts shown at pany. We are cOI)tinually deploring the abolition of the stock company and the evil it works to the stage, but the great benefit BALL'S JEWELRY STORE, to the public is never t&.ken into account. In the good old times Corner Superior and Seneca. it would have been impossible outside of New York to associate 18 TOWN ·TOPICS.

AN UNTRUSTWORTHY SERVANT.

RS. DE STYLE: Yes I have discharged Fido's nurse, the M deceitful, thieving hussy. , MR. DESTYLE: Eh? Did she meddle with your jewelry? .. ~o,' not so bad a3 that; but I discorcred that when the butler sent her a supper for herself and another for Fido she'd gi\'e Fido her"6upper and eat his."

THE WARNING WHISTLE.

ISS \VAYBACK (Olt board Slilp as the jog- hom starts WICKED old man of Green Vallev M UP); Mercy, ma, what's all that tooting? A Shocked his nieces, Kale, Alice and Sally, '''''''':,~ MRS. WAYHACK: Good- By performing for them On a Sunday P, M. ;.'::':,'.~,~-- ness gracious! There must ~ be a whale on the track. Some vivid impresslOlls rlu /Jllllt'!.

-' NOT SATlSFACTOkY.

1;,':'/ liY!},) "f) AC K: So you are going abroad? J DOLLY (the heiress): Yes. " JACK; I suppose that settles it. J'llnever get a ('hanee; you'll i, . i: be married before you get back. DOLLY: You don't think I would marry a foreign

I' nobleman for his money. do yOll?

HIS QUESTION ANSWEkED.

R. OLDBIRD: :\lv dear :Vliss J)O\'ic M do you think it w~uld e\'er be possibl~ for you to love a man as-as old as I am? 1\11ss DOVIE: Uh. I might. if he were different from you in every other way.

IT'S A POOR RULE:

Al LOR: But this is the third T time you promised to let me have the alllount of my bill. DOLKINS: Well, what of that) Didn't you promise me the clothes a dozen times before you had them done?

R. CUMSO' Ah! I could M listen to your piano playing for hours.

.~-=::- --,---- I'll ISS T A KEN (dc!iJ;'hted~JI), Could you really? MR. CUMSO: Yes, bv turning DIPLOMACY. my deaf ear to the piano. WILY HUSBAND: 011, IT'S YOU, IS IT? WHY, THAT NEW !lOY SAID IT WAS A FE\I.AI,L~ HOOK AGE:-IT. " <- NCLE DICK: What reasoll ", WIFE: YES, I TOLD 111M TO TELL YOU so. I THOUGH'I YOU NEVER GAVE I'IUVATE I:\'_ U. did Tom give you for break­ 1ERVIEWS TO FEMALE BOOK AGENTS. ing the engagement? WILY HUSBAND: BUT HE TOLD ME YOU WERE SO VERY GOOD LOOKING THAT I COULD ,,01' RESIST. MABEL (pityingly);, Why, we never expect a reason. TOWN TOPICS.

burgh on December 24th, 25th, 31st, 1889, and January 1st, 1890, good going on date o( sale and returning until January 3d, 1890.

'The Whichness of the Why. At the Bluebeard matinee. "Mamma, does them ladies have cruel step-mothers ?"

II Why dear?", "I mean them ladies what dance without dresses." THE UNUSUAL VALUES in our $12 II What makes you think they have cruel step'mothers ?"

Men's Suit and Overcoat sale still II Because the poor things haven't stuff enough (or dresses, and I s'pose they are continues. They embrace the finest fabrics abused like the good people in the fairy stories." Pause of five minutes. :.:. are )stamped all over :ith goo? style. " Papa can see well, can't he?" "Why, yes, of course, what makes yo. You)make a saving of $6 to $[3 on each ask ?" " He has a bald head, hasn't he?" "Certainly, my dear; but what has that purchase; so be with us while the assort- to do with it." "I only thought that when people get bald ment is good. they become ne~rsighted." " Baldness, my dear, has absolutely noth­ E. R. HULL & CO., ing to do with the sight." " Then why are all those bald gentlemen so close to the stage ?" 12 7 to 133 Ontario st., 584 and 588 Pearl st. "You're asking too many questions alto. gether, the next time I go to the matinee I shall leave you at home." A Pencive Poem. day to and including Jan. lsI, 1890. All He looked around with brow o'ercast, tickets good to return to and including Sat· " He muttered" Zounds, can I have passed urday, Jan. 4th, 1890. Holiday Rates. The place I do remember well, The Nickel Plate will sell tickets at reo Whose joys oft made my bosom swell ?" The Park WaH Paper Co., 170 Public duced rates between all stations commenc­ He scowled to right, he stared to left, Square, furnish estimates on all kinds of ing Monday, Dec. 23J, 1889, to Wednesday, H~ seemed like one of hope bereft. interior decoration. J an. 1st, 1890. Inquire of nearest agent. The p'liceman watched him on his beat See their new effects in plastic work. Good returning on any train to and includ. And cautiously crossed o'er the street; Headquarters for Lincrusta·Walton. All the ing Jan. 3d, 1890. The littie children shrank aside, novelties. Work strictly first class. No The men gave him the sidewalk wide. (ancy prices. Nicel Plate Holiday excursions. Inquire o( nearest agent. He stalked along the crowded pave, G. H. LYTTLE, Manager. And scared the old, the young, the brave. Geese feathers cheap, 129 Woodland ave. Straight down the brOl.d Superior street, Cheap Holiday rates via Nickel Plate. Inquire of nearest agent. He hastened on with clanking feet, Time to Part. Until he reached the sloping hill, Well, Bridget, I am be­ And there a moment he stood s'.iJl. Try the Xavier Jouvin glove, it has the Mrs. jmkinson-" ginning to think that it's time for you and I And then his eye did brighten fast, colors, the style, durability. Adapted to to part." Adown the hill he swiftly passed, long, medium and short finger~. Shaw, 93 & Bn'dgel-" Indade ma'am, I think so too. And shrieked as fled his look of gloom, 95 Euclid ave. You're getting sarcier and s,ucier every day." " I've found the Bethel Dining Room·!!" Catarrh. Wall paper, Spring style now arriving at Throat and lung diseases cured by the See the black hosiery that is guaranteed to 170 Public Square. direct inhalation of Medicated Balsam Vapor. give satisfaction. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid PARK WALL PAVER CO. Call 01' send stamp (or book on office and ave. home treatment. DRS. GATCHELL, Corsets, new stock, just what you want. 174 Euclid ave. f1'(ickel Plate Excursion. Shaw's, 93 & 95 Euclid ave. If you contemplate a trip during the Holiday Excursion. Holidays you should consult the cheap ex· Holiday excursion tickets, :at low, round T. A. Selover, the live real estate dealer, cursion rates on the Nickel Plate j sale com­ trip rates, will be sold from all ticket offices says there is a good demand (or desirable mences Monday, Dec. 23, and continues'each of the Pennsylvania Lines We3t o( Pitts- property. ,20 TOWN TOPICS.

Elec:tl·!cnl. Patents. United Bectrlc Co,,' OSBORNE &CO., Room 8, ~ 89 Euclid Ave. Patent lawyers ... -AND- Electric Belts for Weak and Nervous People, Solicilors of Palmls. Kidney and Liver Com­ 29 Euclid Avenue, plaints, Constipation, Superior itc. CLEVELAND, O. aoo-aoa St·t Draughtsman. Engraver. MACKINTOSH GARMENTS N. S. AMSTUTZ. J. H. Fleharty & Co. For Gentlemen'and Ladies-the finest line ever shown in Cleveland. Also a Arl;st·J)raur!ltsma", complete line of :w Black.tDne IIld·g.Cieveland, Have just received a large stock of 0., Telephone ~43. Patent Office Draw­ ings, Drawings for ~"inte:r GoodS., Photo and Wood En­ sele~tion graving, Perspectives Seals,rRubber and S~d Rubber Boots and Shoes, Hat Covers, Buggv Aprons, Door Mats,etc., and a choice of Toys. Slamps, Stencils, etc. from Wol'king Plans, 92 SenllCl st. etc. Company. PhutugrRllhel'. Desks. Ohio Rubber Burgess &Fish,

Desks, Chairs and H. M. CLAFLEN. Pres. Office Furniture, Photographer, 213 BANK STREET. CLAFLEN PAVING co. 211 SUPERIOR ST. Tel. 2329. Oltlc:e ::0 Elwli.1 An'.. fLEVELAND, O. NEW YEARS CARDS PAVING CONTRACTORS. -AND- HOLIDAY GOODS. Medina Block Stone Pavement a Specialty. QUARRn~s AT AunON, N. Y. Largest Variety, Latest Designs, and at Lovvest Prices.

Walter Smith, (!tll" Use THE NATHAN IMPOR1'ING Co. recommend II \J their famous foreign-bottled table clarets, at 329 Superior St.. CLEVELAND, O. For DOme very reasonable prices. A pure article is guaranteed. A telephone 0 Mr. and Mrs. Jules E. Heywood's mail order will meet prompt attention and instant delivery. Winter Term in Society Dancing, NATHAN INPORTING CO.• BEGINNERS RECEIVED AT 172 Bank Street. HEARD'S HALL, -, '76 EUCLID AVE. Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays at l! I'. M. CONGER & COLLINGS MANTEL CO. Advanced Class in all of the laten ances and •• The German," Fridays. Fourth Select Social and German Dec. 20th; Fischer's orchestra, Artistic Mantels. Tiles and Grates. Fine Gas Fixtures and Electroliers, Juvenile and Ladiee' class, Saturdays al 2 o'clock. Fire·Place furniture, in Brass and Iron, Lamps in Brass, Silver and Iron, and shades su'itabll':. Pupils received at any time, term commences from Specialties in our line continually being added. date of entry. H"Private lessons by appointment. Private classes and dance arranged for entert~inments at a17-aas EUCLID AVENUE. residences or academy as dei>lred. Call or write for c. H. COLLINGS. c. H. PRnCHAkD. circular. Residence 806 Woodland ave. HE BEST educatlon is always the cheapest. An Ir. &Irs. J. C. H. Vance's T education is something to be used a Iiletime, and should be of first quality. THE BEST is non!: too J.ood for anybody. You should not allow a rew dollars' dIfFer­ SCHOOL FOR DANCING ence in cost to decide the question, or attend an inferior WE.18GERBER'S HALL, school lor any reason There is not the least doubt about which is the LARGEST and BEST in Ohio. TheSpencerian Business College, of Cleveland was established Classes for Juveniles, Saturday morn· in 1848. By regular purchase and tran~fer it embraces six business schools, including the c~lIege of Bryant ings and afternoons. Spencer, Lusk & Stratton (the FIR~T of the celebrated Bryant & Stratton colleges, established in 1852] Adults- Bel:inners-Monday and Tues­ It pays to attend the best. Day and eveninl{ sessions. 422 Superior St. SPENCER FELTON &

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. "Was Miss Yellowlcaf's portrait a good likeness?" Fnr fifty years has been used by mothers for their " It must have been; she refused to take it from the tJRA~~N'Fs. Children while Teething'. It Soothes the Child, Soft­ artist,'·-Li/e. ens the Gums, Allays all Pain. Cures Wind Colic, and MEDIUM-DRY, &: SPECIAL JOHN"'"it'woODBURy;i Sealskin Garments DUVIVIER!

Violet Orris A Good, Reliable Stylogr&phlc Pen tor .1.00. Founta!n , Blended with SWEET Alpine Roses, a popular Sachet Pen, $2.00. Star Fountain Pen,.1.50and upwards. I for Dresses, made ofALPINE flowers (used by Worth) Ev~r from Root Blossom and ROSE leavesby new process, Best Writing Pen Offered to the Publi dainty, aeiicate and laetillg (will not sift like powder), AT A PRICE WITHiN THE BEACH Oil' ALL. will perfume Glove.. Linen and Stationery. Unequaled for Busines8or General Writhllf Imported for Ohristie & 00,,24 W, 23d St, N,Y, Oi.ty, THE INDEPENDENT:PEN 18 a 14 Kt. GOLl Sample 100. Laree Saohet 250. Mlb. BOil I. I'EN fitted with a Fenntaln or Re8er­ I A moveable Satin dress Sachet 1yd.lon~, voir Holder, and combine8 an Ink­ I for Street or Eve'g ware. $1.00. By mall. 8tand anil Gold Pen in One, LADIES Send for Descriptive Circular. A Trial Ordel'SoUciteti. AGENTS WANTED. J. V. ULRIC"TI & CO•• ~e. • 108 Liberty Street, New York. & tv !! GOLD You can live at home and make more money at ~CO \)~£.RY Fl1c)' ;l work for us than at anything else In the wol'1d, <9; ~ F'l Either sex' all oges. Costly outfit FRKK. Terrn~ q.~ 1':' q~ ff'I~ from 01' A. ~! "REB. Address TRUll &: Co., AugU8ta, Maine. ' JOHN H. WOODB"URY'S increasing practice has rQ. Aower that 06' -I' compelled him to remove to the elegant four-8tory brown­ breathe. a fracranoe• Btone-front building, with a two-story laboratory in the rear ..------_.. ~.I. l BEAUTY. at 12& W. 42d Ht., New York (''1ty_ He h88 the flnes~ parlors and the 1arIrest establishment of its kind In the world SWEET SCENTS ~ for the treatment 01 the hair and 8calpj eczema, moles, wartll, Wrinkles, Black.heads, superfluous hair, birthmarkll, moth, ueckles, tan, plmplell, LOXOTIS OPOPONAX ~ Pimples, Frecklcs, Plttinjts. Molps wnnklell, red nose, red velnll, oUy ski~ &Cne, blackheadll, . ~ and 8npertluou8 Hulr permaneutly barbers' itch, scars. plttings, powder marltll, bleaching, facial FRANGIPANNI PSIDIUM removed. Flet'h Incre8l'ed or re­ develojlment, .tc., .tc. He h88 jU8t completed the Ilxth edi. .p -----Ji~;;b~-~bt~i~;d-----~~ ~i duced. Complexions heautll1ed. The tion of hi8128-pqe book on "DIB1lgurements and Imper­ 'Form developed; Hair, Browl' and fectionl of the Skin and Dilleases of the Hair and Scalp, and ~ 0/ any Ohemiit Of' ~'t; La~he8 rhelr Treatment," which hemailstoanyaddressonrece.pt •• Perfumer. ~ colored and reptored. Inter­ of 10 cellt•• This enlighten8 you on the subject of Dermll­ esting Book (t'ent sealcd).4c. Mme. tology and enables vou to understand your imperfection. If ~OJld 8ttee\ , V"laro,4-I4- W.47thSt., N. Y, 4iltant you can be 8uccessfully treated by mail Consultation City. MentUm thiB papw. free at oftlce or by letter. Belld for 188-Pl&Ife book. J1 .TOWN TOPICS.

;~~~~~~';~ore they go~ 5.0110. f}feR'proverb rlln':"The pan sa.ys ~o ~he pot Keep of; ofYQu'1I smutch me: . ( If your grocer sends you anything in place of SAPOLIO, send it back and insist upon having just what you ordered. SAPOLIO always gives satisfaction. On floors, tables and painted work it acts like a charm. For scouring pots, pans and metals it has no equal. Everything shines after it, and even the children delight in using it in their attempts to help around the house. ENOCH MOEGAN'S SONS CO., NEW YOlUt.

WIT! SATIRE! FUN I Send for A))llicatioll Blanks and Secure Accident Insurance at Accitlent Cost. DOUGHERTY, HERTEL &COI~

prOVident Fund society ~\tlIJilDtO'l»$\ l!!1!\!l 280 Broadway, New York, ~ \0- '~'G~ : ~ Is pronounced hy Insurance Agents and e:otperts to be the simplest. cheapest and best plan of Accident Insurance yet presented. $oOOO-Life Indemnity. 111ustrateb 'lRew IDorlt $0000- Loss of haml and foot. $2GOO-Permanent Disability. S1250-Loss of hand or foot. 174 FIFTH AVEl, 8121>0-Loss I of :Eyes. 52/} ]lerweek while disabled b~' reason of au accidcntalinjllry, not exceeding 52 weeks. BETWEEN 2~d AND 23d STREETS, · LIFE · Total cost tn memberllhas not exceeded 812 per year, which Jnay he ]laid in )_ayments of 'Is Sparkltng wttb 1HIul3trattons. 82.00 each at the option of the insured. NEW YORK CITY. IT WILL CURE INDIGESTION, OFFICERS: A. N. LOCKWOOD, President. BLUES, AND RAD TEMPER. '. FI<'\l"cIS E. DOU(;E, Vice-President, of Dodge & . Olcutt, New York, J0::IlI'I! PEI~I.~M, Treasurer, formerly of National The latest and 'most fashion­ 10 cents a copy; $5.00 a year. Park B:mk. W. W. DODGE, Secretary. able Foreig'1Z Fabrics for n:en's Acthe General I\IHI Local Agents wanted at all pointli. ~ot~1 • Bartl]oldi. ZOta1', to O1-'der, at moderate prices.

Broadway and 23d Street ---..,...-- (lIADlS():-/ SQUAme). THEO. M. DOUCHERTY. New York City. F. E. HERTEL. -- .. -. E~ EUROPEAN PLAN. W. EMERY.