April 1, 2021 Volume 76 No
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The Student Newspaper of Seattle Preparatory School 400 Broad St, Seattle, WA 98109 The Seattle Prep Panther Twitter: @seepreppantherrrrrr April 1, 2021 www.bringbackignacio.com Volume 76 No. 2 Instagram: @seeattlepreppantherz Firepole Installed in Adelphia Staircase Yerba Mate ABBY WILWERDING ‘22 Launches STAFF WRITER ith the reintroduction of in-per- son learning at Seattle Prep, stu- Products in Wdents adapted to new COVID precautions when traveling around school, the Smith Café including the installation of a fire pole in PIPER WOOD ‘21 the staircase of Adelphia Memorial Hall. STAFF WRITER “After the first week, we realized long awaited favorite is coming that if we put a firepole in, students could to the Seattle Prep campus after easily take the firepole down, and the stairs years of student requests. Guyakí up” stated the Dean of Students, Mr. Stea- A Yerba Mate! rns. After months of being consid- The idea immediately gained ered, Yerba Mate teas will be offered in popularity, and the firepole was installed the fridges of the Smith Café! Many stu- at the beginning of last week. Directly fol- dents love these drinks and will search lowing the dedication ceremony, the Seat- far for one to bring to school. Now, the tle Fire Department came to lay out some wait is over! The loved drinks will be rules and safety guidelines. stocked starting April 1st, as a tribute to “With the addition of the fire the company’s spring flavors debuting 20 pole, it was important to us to make sure years ago that day. we stayed on top of the safety aspect of it, Senior Cate McNett fell in love so having the firemen come in to demon- with these drinks after traveling to Uru- strate was essential” Stearns remarked. guay over the summer of her freshman On March 22nd, opening day, a year. She even funded a factory in Ger- line started forming near the library on the many to keep manufacturing them across 5th floor. “We were slightly anticipating the globe! She is very excited that these this; however, we expect it to die down drinks will be in store for her and her once the excitement around the installa- best friends. Her favorite flavor is Pas- tion lessens,” Mr. Chism, Campus Security sion Fruit, which Seattle Prep will have, Monitor, remarked. along with every single flavor offered by It’s true; students have been eager Yerba Mate. to test it out. The general consensus is that The Smith Cafe received special it’s a little hard to adapt to and takes lots of funding for this item from a current stu- arm strength, but once you get the hang of dent who wishes to remain anonymous. it, it’s super fun. The person who funded this new item is Students who are particular- kept top secret because she doesn’t like ly confident have begun racing for a top the attention. In the L-Z cohort, this speed, much to the dismay of faculty and student and her family originally want- staff. As of now, 16 mph is the speed to ed more access to Yerba Mate drinks, beat. One lesson students have learned is since they are most often found in Whole that you must make sure all your belong- Abby Wilwerding Photo: Foods, QFC, and other healthy grocers. ings are secured before embarking the fire- A Seattle Fire Department member poses following the final inspection Blake Weld, ’21, a lover of pole. of the new firepole installed in Adelphia Memorial Hall. The new firepole Sparkling Cranberry Pomegranate, said, “One time, I accidentally left my allows greater student freedom during passing periods. “I wondered why the family made sure backpack unzipped and my Hydroflask fell that Sparkling Cranberry Pomegranate out, landing on a freshman that was walk- a big highlight during these unprecedented The installation is a great feat in was included since it’s not a common fla- ing up the stairs” a senior shared. times; one student even said, “I wish all my getting students to class efficiently and one vor. I guess they just know me best!” Despite this, the fire pole has been classes were in Adelphia.” of the best things to come out of COVID!! The anonymous donor felt the love when, during school, a friend Prep Replaces Panther Mascot with Live Panther, brought a Revel Berry to lunch, and talk- ed highly of her favorite flavor, when Chaos Ensues everyone sitting near her chimed in to HOBBS HEGEDUS ‘22 idea.” Mr. Beurns, the Dean of Students, Ricky decided to hire Joe Exotic from the repeat their favorite taste of the special STAFF WRITER replied. hit Netflix show “Tiger King.” To recap- drinks. “Enlightenment is my favorite, ast month, the new Seattle Prep The panther was playful and was ture the beast. In the duration Joe Exotic but Bluephoria to me tastes like thick President, Mr. Ricky announced watching the students out of the holes in was inside, many screams and yells re- blue grass, ew,” said Sydney Shimizu, that Seattle Prep would be receiving the box, until it was provoked. “A student sounded out from the Prep campus. It is L appeared to have shown it a movie on Net- unknown if these were from Mr. Exotic or ’22, offering her opinion on the drinks. a real-life panther. It would be imported to When the mystery donor heard the United States from northern Argentina flix, I believe it was that movie with Jerry the Panther. After a couple hours, Exotic of everyone loving the drinks, she chose to serve as the school’s new mascot. exited McDonnell Hall with the Panther in to make Seattle Prep an ambassador for “After a totally legal deal, we are a headlock. “Now the students Yerba Mate. proud to announce, that with all of your tu- In the aftermath, Mr. Ricky would To have a little fun during hy- ition funds, we have obtained a real, live be forcefully removed from his Presiden- brid learning, there is a competition panther.” Mr. Ricky stated to the parents really fear JUG.” tial position by the school, for his poor starting April 1st to see who will buy the in a press conference on the first of the judgment and disregard for student’s safe- most Yerbs! You can receive information month. “There is no way whatsoever, this Mr. Beurns ty. Later that day, the school board decided about how to download the Yerb Track- could bite us back later.” A collective face unanimously that Joe Exotic, was the most er app from any Collegio teacher. If the palm from the parents echoed throughout suitable replacement. Partially due to his teachers pretend to not know what you the McHugh gymnasium in response. honor and valor in wrangling the Panther, are talking about, it is likely because they But the panther did indeed bite and in case another similar accident should want to win the competition themselves. the school back. Later on the same day, the Seinfeld, called ‘Bee Movie’ or occur. Because of Seattle Prep’s am- Panther, now going by the name Ignacio, something.” Said Mr. Ricky. After this Our antagonist, Ignacio, now re- bassador status, they will give out free escaped. Two minutes later, all students “Bee Movie” was on for approximately six sides in the JUG room, as the new JUG Yerba Mates to the student who wins! were told to stay within their classrooms. minutes, Ignacio busted out of its prison master. Since his appointment, Prep has Students will be buzzing with caffeine Lockdown procedures were put into place, and bit the phone in half. “The following not given anyone Jug. during the spring, so get ready Mates! as the students hid. events were pure chaos” President Ricky “Now the students really fear The competition is fierce. “How the panther escaped the replied dramatically. Jug” Mr. Beurns commented. carboard box in the Commons, I have no After two weeks of torment, Mr. 2 PREP LIFE THE PANTHER | APRIL 1, 2021 EDITORS: WILL THOMPSON ‘21 & GAEL LOOR ‘22 BUSTED! Robbers Break into Prep to Steal...Books? SYDNEY LEARDI ‘23 have regretted it ever since. “We know we Staff Writer are not the brightest tools in the toolbox, but n March 11, 2021, two criminals, we wanted to change that,” Pott explained. Joe King and Jack Pott trespassed With giddy nods, King jumped Oon Seattle Prep’s campus and broke in, “We never read when we were younger into the McKay Library. Surprisingly, their so we thought it would be the perfect step target was not the computers or other ex- to improving! We are sorry for the broken pensive items, glass, I got so but 20 classic “We know we are not excited when books that sat I found the on the shelves. book, I want- Titles the brightest tools in the ed that I acci- such as “Julius dently swung Caesar”, “The toolbox, but we wanted my hands too Odyssey”, and hard. I forgot “The Great I had my wa- Gatsby” made to change that.” ter bottle in their way into one!” the hands of Jack Pott King King and Pott. and Pott were Thankfully, questioned they were caught by campus security why they did not borrow from the public li- after stopping to get a slice of pizza brary. They looked at each other confusedly from Pagliacci’s. Many faculty and stu- before expressing that they thought the pub- Photo: SEATTLE PREP POLICE DEPARTMENT dents had questions, but thankfully King lic library required payment. Evidence collected from the recent McKay Library break in.