Nominated for Guardian and NUS Student Newspaper of the Year 2006 Summer Term Week Three Tuesday 08 May 07 www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Est. 1964 ROSES VICTORY See our special pull-out for match reports, statistics and exclusive photographs Are we a racist university?

Cantor speaks out about the importance of racial integration and tolerance at York 49% of foreign students say they feel excluded, while 30% have experienced racism

By Heidi Blake the University and in York. are involved in extra-curricular ticipant said he had experienced in a recent interview with the York EDITOR Speaking to Nouse on Sunday, activities at the University. violent and threatening behaviour Press “There are certainly not any Vice Chancellor Brian Cantor However, the Nouse poll, which on and around campus, on one racial undertones at the University. broke a long silence on student was conducted over the internet, occasion when “someone in a car The Students’ Union at the A NOUSE POLL has uncovered issues to express his support of also revealed surprising levels of tried to attack me with an egg” and moment is working very closely potentially worrying divisions international students, saying “The racial tension on campus, with another when the driver of a BMW with the University to ensure all between international and home foreign students that come to York many of the participants submit- “attempted to intimidate me by students – particularly internation- students at York, with 49% of inter- are a great benefit to the York com- ting detailed written accounts of pretending he wanted to run me als who may find it difficult – feel national students saying that they munity; they do very well, they’re what they consider to be personal over while I was crossing integrated into the University.” ‘feel excluded by British students’ good students, and they go on to do experiences of racism. University Road.” However, concerns about and 30% saying that they have marvellous things in the world. One participant wrote “Non- Bukky Ojo, last year’s SU underlying racial tensions in York experienced what they consider to There’s no way we wouldn’t want academic staff seem to be preju- Racial Equality Officer, said have been augmented in recent be racist attitudes from students or international students coming diced when seeing someone with “During my officership, a lot of peo- months by the increased presence staff during their time at York. This here.” an Asian appearance. The assump- ple did talk to us about experienc- of the BNP, who put forward candi- comes at a time when concerns Of all the international stu- tion seems to be that I should be ing racism on campus.” dates in nine York wards in the have been raised in some quarters dents polled, 89% said they enjoy pliant and not protesting when I’m Michael Batula, Ojo’s succes- recent council elections and gained about creeping racial tensions at their courses, while 70% said they treated in a lax way.” The same par- sor as Racial Equality Officer, said >> Continued page 5 Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007

Baroness attacked by Controversy over use of Fruit of mother goose A VISIT to the University of York by the Baroness Thornton of Mannington the Loom as Roses kit supplier ended with an attack by an ill-tem- pered goose. The Baroness was visiting By Heidi Blake very different, and from the University to address the New EDI TOR this point on Union mer- Generation Society on the topic of the chandise should only be future of the House of Lords. After THE AU PRESIDENT purchased from companies leaving the event the Baroness crossed Tom Moore has come (and initially sourced from over Langwith bridge where she star- under scrutiny this week manufacturers) that we tled a goose protecting its nest. James for his decision to source approve, and I very much Townsend, President of the NGS, who Roses merchandise from hope that this will be the was with the Baroness at the time, said the contoversial clothing last occurence of its kind.” the goose “didn’t appreciate her status supplier Fruit of the Loom. Fruit of the Loom or rank” and “hissed and nipped at her” Moore decided to use have been condemned by as she went by the goose and its the supplier, which has the International Textile goslings. Neither the Baroness nor the come under fire in the past Garments and Leather goose was injured during the incident. for poor working condi- Workers Federation as tions and the use of sweat- having “a history of viru- shops, despite the fact that lent anti-union activity” as YU SU win award for the Union Code states that well as subjecting employ- YU SU will promote ‘sound ees to long hours, “poverty eco-friendly policies ethical choice’ of products pay” and dangerous condi- and ‘will purchase, where tions reminiscent of a YUSU WON silver the Sound Impact practical, from suppliers Victorian mill rather than Awards for “greenest” student union in graded highly by the a modern transnational the country. The awards look to encour- NUSSL Environment and company. age, nurture and reward the most envi- Ethics Committee.’ Derwent College ronmentally friendly universities. While Tom Moor e ju st ified decided to unilaterally ultimately York was beaten by his decision to purchase abandon contracts with Loughborough for the title of ‘greenest the merchandise from the company as long ago as student union’, the judges were Fruit of the Loom by 2005. impressed by “the grass roots activity of claiming that “the order for The SU has already the students and the sheer number of the shirts was made weeks been caught up in another them involved in environmental activi- ago. ethical clothing gaffe earli- ties.” Service and Finance Officer, Amy “O r d er in g t h r ou gh er this year over the t- Woods, said YUSU will “build on this 'fairtrade' suppliers, which shirts for the Viking Raid for next year and become a contender breaches commercial con- II, where Fruit of the Loom for Gold ” which will be achieved “with tractual agreements made was the supplier despite further documentation on our targets by YUSU, would mean objections from and environmental practices”. they simply would not have Environment Council as been delivered on time and well as staff and students. they would have cost 60% The same excuse was used Student gambles loan more to buy.” then as now; that the mer- Moore also added that chandise would not have A FIRST YEAR student at York has the company ADM, arrived in time for the been forced to leave university, after an through which the SU event had it been ordered online gambling addiction left him sources its merchandise, from a fair trade supplier. unable to afford to continue studying. and which deals with Fruit Roses is pre-sched- Adam Colley, a member of Langwith of the Loom, are ecologi- AU President Tom Moore wearing a Roses t-shirt. Photo:Georgi Mabee uled to take place every college, left mid way through the second cally sustainable and check year, arguably giving the term of the year, after his debts related the trading standards of Environment and Ethics aware of it, would certainly Ethical Merchandise current AU adequate time to online gambling spiraled out of con- the companies they source Officers, Tom Williams not have been supported.” motion was finally passed to prepare an order with a trol and he had lost his student loan to from. He added “You may and Tom Langley, claimed Charlotte Bonner, the at the last UGM members manufacturer with a better online gambling companies. This case also want to ask the YUSU they “weren't aware that previous Environment and of the union weren't record on workers’ rights. only further highlights the lack of environment and ethics the Roses merchandise Ethics Officer said she “had obliged to consult on mer- With the passing of advice available to students concerning officers as they have had been sourced from not been involved in the chandise, and so it would the recent UGM motion it their financial affairs, but also brings checked everything Fruit of the Loom” and said decision making or even have been fully within the is hoped that this will be into question exactly how students through with this compa- they were ”more than a lit- consulted.” AU's power to order from the last time YUSU will spend their loans. ny.” tle dismayed to have this Langley and Williams any company they liked order merchandise from a However, when con- brought to our attention - told Nouse “part of the without us being aware of supplier not considered Reporting by Raf Sanchez and tacted, the current the decision, had we been problem is that until the it. The situation is now ethical by the NUSSL. Sarah Foster

Who’s MANAGING DIRECTORS: FEATURES DEPUTY: B & R EDITOR: Jonat han McCar t hy Venetia Rainey Lauren Menzies May 8 2007 Laura Nicol www.NOUSE.co.uk NOUSE ARTS EDITORS: B & R DEPUTY: In this edition SUBEDI TORS: Amy Milka Helen Citron Grimston House (V/X/010) Kel l y Neukom Amy Scott News 1-7 Vanbrugh College Harriet Wray SPORTS EDI TOR: ARTS DEPUTY: Daniel Whitehead University of York NEWS EDITOR: Sar ah Jef f r i es Comment 8-10 Heslington Raf San ch ez SPORTS DEPUTY Yo r k MUSIC EDITOR: Ch r i s No i ce Letters 11 NEWS DEPUTIES: Sar a Sayeed YO 10 5D D Milda Sabunaite WEB EDITOR: Politics 12 -13 Email: [email protected] Nicky Woolf MUSICDEPUTY: Em m a Gaw en Ben Rackstraw Sport 14 -16 EDI TOR: STAFF REPORTER: WEB DEPUTY: Heidi Blake Alex Stevens FILM EDITOR: Natasha Woodward Dave Coates DEPUTY EDITORS: POLITICS EDI TOR: PHOTO EDITOR: Student strippers M4-5 Jenny O’Mahony Cl ai r e Yeo FILM DEPUTY: Georgi Mab ee With summer approaching and the Anjli Raval Jam es Fanning Hitch to Morocco M6 POLITICS DEPUTY: PODCAST EDITOR: array of festivals ever-widening, Nouse MUSEEDI TOR: Alberto Furlan LAST WORD EDITOR: Niahm Walsh Goodbye, Campus Ken El l en Car p en t er Andreas Masoura M9 provides the ultimate guide to where to COMMENT EDITOR: Festival guide head for the perfect weekend of sun- PRODUCTION MANAGER: Sam Thomas LISTINGS EDITOR: The opinions expressed in M10-11 To b y Gr een Daniel Ball soaked hedonism. Plus, what you might COMMENT DEPUTY: this publication are not necessarily those of the Music reviews M16 find when you get there. ADVERTISING MANAGERS: St ep h D y so n CARTOONISTS: Chris Cowan Ch r i s Tu r n er edit ors, writ ers, or advert isers MUSE >> 10 -11 Sam Whittaker FEATURES EDITOR: Sam Wad d i n g t o n Jo Shel l ey NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps News 3 Students denied right to vote

By Raf Sanchez NEWS EDITOR

A UNIVERSITY administra- tive error which left 52 stu- dents unable to vote in Thursday’s council elections has drawn widespread criti- cism from both students and electoral candidates. Despite assuring all stu- dents that they would auto- matically be registered to vote in an email sent out through the colleges, the University failed to pass their details on to the Council’s Electoral Services. The actu- al number of students who were unable to vote is widely believed to be significantly higher than the confirmed total of 52. University spokesman David Garner said of the error, “It is ultimately the student’s responsibility to ensure their name is on the register. We supply the names if they are in University accommodation, but the responsibility for checking is theirs.” However, all students living on campus received an Students arrived at the Vanbrugh polling booth to find that their details had not been put on the electoral register. Photo: Georgi Mabee email via college administra- tors a week before the elec- that people have been disen- students repeated assurances Chancellor to ask the is stupid. The University sent Colin Hindson said “they tion saying “If you’re living in franchised because the that would be registered University to review why emails saying that we would didn’t see it as a problem. College accommodation you University did not do the job automatically.” She added: “I some students were left off be registered to vote. I’m Without someone mention- will automatically be regis- that they were supposed to am furious at how the the register and to try and sorry for having faith in the ing it to them they didn’t tered to vote.” do…it is the responsibility of University have handled review their procedures so system.” Iona Josephine take it up as an issue. They Heslington ward candi- the University to ensure that this.” Conservative candidate next year they can get as near Hawe added “I take my right wait for the issues to come to dates from all three major the information they supply Julia Heaton described the to 100% possible.” to vote seriously and am dis- them instead of actively parties condemned the to Electoral Services is full University’s handling of the Students also expressed appointed that I have been seeking to address them”. University’s failure to pro- and correct.” Labour candi- situation as “a disgrace”. their anger and frustration cheated out of this.” Only after pressure from vide a complete list of stu- date Grace Fletcher-Hall John Grogan, the local over Thursday’s events. Dan YUSU criticised the YUSU did an advisory notice dents living on campus. said “the University has been MP, also voiced concern. He Thornton, who made a four- University’s lack of reaction appear on York Extra for stu- Liberal Democrat Councillor going on about how it’s peo- said “In reality most students hour round trip to vote at when it became apparent dents unable to vote. Ceredig Jamieson-Ball, who ple’s individual responsibili- will assume that they are on home when he realised he early on Thursday that some was re-elected on Thursday, ty to make sure they are reg- the register and I will cer- wouldn’t be able to in York, students were unable to vote. >> Comment p10 said “It is very disappointing istered but they have given tainly be writing to the Vice- said “To say it’s our own fault Communications Officer >> Politics p13 Protesting York students targeted online

By Jamie Merrill geting of the students and Randall said, “Being May 2006, Alan McFadden, NEWS CORRESPONDENT expressed concerns that a targeted by a disgusting Nazi a Liverpool Trade Union York student may have website such as Redwatch Congress leader, was serious- passed on details to the far isn’t pleasant but it’s not par- ly wounded in a knife attack A FORMER Executive right group. The photo- ticularly surprising. Several by a Redwatch supporter Officer of the National Union graphs, originally taken by a of my comrades have after appearing on the site. of Students (NUS) and sev- Nouse photographer, were appeared on Redwatch Ben Drake, chair of eral York students have been taken from a copyrighted before and I’m sure we will York City pressure group targeted by a far right fascist website and passed onto again in the future. Unite Against Fascism said website with links to the Redwatch. “Although Redwatch’s “Redwatch has obvious crim- British National Party (BNP) Redwatch, whose slo- contributors are probably inal intent, its not subtle, and a history of encouraging gan is “Remember places, limited to a few sociopathic there is no other reason to violence. traitors’ faces, they’ll pay for Hitler-fetishists behind post than to intimidate. The Daniel Randall, former their crimes” posts photo- computers, the growing students involved should NUS Executive Officer, and graphs and personal details strength of the BNP may cre- complain both to the police several members of the York of left-wing activists and ate an atmosphere in which and the University.” Socialist Students society anti-fascist campaigners. white-power activists feel Photographs of several had their photographs post- The website made news on more confident about com- other students have also ed on Redwatch after an campus when Nouse report- ing out of cyberspace and A number of York students’ photos are on Redwatch appeared on Redwatch. The anti-fees rally at the ed in January that a York onto the streets.” students, who were pictured University of York in week academic and several stu- A senior member of the said, “It concerns me more fascist website than it does at a demonstration last term, eight of last term. dents were targeted whilst Socialist Students, who that there are people at the that I have appeared on it.” have declined to comment, Anti-fascist campaign- attending an anti-war requested to remain anony- University of York who want Redwatch has a history citing personal safety con- ers have condemned the tar- demonstration. mous to ensure his safety, to contribute to an openly of encouraging violence. In cerns. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 Question of NUS membership to be settled with referendum

By Nicky Woolf assess York’s membership of DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR the NUS, said that “if stu- dents choose to disaffiliate, then that is what we should YORK STUDENTS will vote be doing, and it’s good that in a referendum next term we’re going to referendum. on whether the Students’ The one thing we need is a Union will retain its mem- properly conducted referen- bership of the National dum on this.” Union of Students (NUS). However, Wihl was The decision to hold the keen to stress that he himself referendum was taken at a is not in favour of leaving the meeting of the YUSU Senate NUS, claiming he merely on Wednesday. The motion wants to “promote the NUS was proposed by Louis Wihl, and show everyone why it’s a Chair of Alcuin JCRC, and good thing.” He said that stated that the YUSU “discussions on this issue are President must call a refer- happening at a lot of univer- endum on the question sities around the country, “Should the University of and it would be good for York York’s Student Union main- to have that discussion here.” tain it’s affiliation with the The NUS affiliation fee NUS?” in week six of the that York pays is due to drop Autumn term 2007. in the next year from Senate, which consists £36,000 to £32,000, but of YUSU officers, JCRC questions have still been chairs voted almost unani- asked as to the value for mously in favour of the money that membership rep- motion. Anne-Marie resents at that price. Canning, who will be Gemma Tumelty, President of YUSU when the President of the NUS, told referendum takes place, Nouse that the NUS was described it as “an educa- “committed to reducing the tional tool,” and expressed a Left: Anne-Marie Canning will be YUSU President in the coming year. Right: Gemma Tumelty is NUS President. amount of money that your hope that the debate sur- union spends on affiliation,” rounding the referendum in before the vote takes is to be made. are paying only £12,000 per represented good value for and argued that the NUS will “get people interested in place. Matt Burton, who will year less for NUS affiliation money at the price York are “does make a difference to NUS and what they’re doing This is the first referen- replace Amy Woods as than these far larger institu- expected to pay, Canning your [students’] everyday for us.” dum that the student body YUSU Services and Finance tions. Burton said that “they said “We can milk NUS for life – from supporting your According to Colin will have held in more than Officer next year, has [Manchester and Leeds more, and I fully intend to do union, to lobbying the gov- Hindson, YUSU six years. In order to pass, expressed concerns that unions] can pay that much that. But I do think they offer ernment on student issues.” Communications Officer, voted approval by 6.75% of despite having less than a without blinking, whereas us a good deal.” Tumelty highlighted the the referendum will be held students will be required, third of the number of stu- we have much more trouble Rich Croker, the current NUS’s recent lobbying suc- in the middle of the Autumn meaning that more than 650 dent members that unions finding that amount of YUSU President, whose elec- cesses on council tax exemp- term so that first-year stu- students will need to like those of the universities money.” tion manifesto last year tion and student tenancy. dents have a chance to settle mobilise to vote if a decision of Leeds or Manchester, York When asked if the NUS included the promise to re- >> Comment p 10 Petition brought More police to patrol campus against students By Helen Citron and reduce crime, Haigh and his team have improved the effi- Anjli Raval ciency of their existing By Jenny O’Mahony as a postgraduate student. resources with undercover DEPUTY EDITOR The petition comes THERE WILL BE an and uniformed officers mak- weeks after York students increased police presence on ing patrols on campus when were praised in the York campus following a rise in they feel it is necessary. RESIDENTS OF Badger Press by Colin Mellors, Chief the number of burglaries and Community Development Hill, Fulford and Heslington Executive of Higher York, a bike thefts since the start of Officer PC Sam Bolland has have signed a petition partnership of local colleges the year. also been allocated to the against the "studentisation" and universities, described Sergeant Andy Haigh of University campus, which of the areas and are being the University of York’s the area’s neighbourhood has proved to be a crime backed by newly re-elected recent Making Space at policing team has said that hotspot for the south of York. Councillor for Heslington, Fulford Youth Room project although crime at the Communication between Ceredig Jamieson-Ball, him- as “a particular success”. The University has gone down by campus security teams and self a former York student. project also won the team nearly 25% since 2005, more the local police force has Jamieson-Ball, who was award at the Regional still needs to be done. been tightened through the recently re-elected with a Millenium Volunteer of the Rob Little, the creation of a radio link. Bikes are stolen almost daily. Photo: Milda Sabunaite healthy majority, has sup- Year Award ceremony, held University’s Security Four bike-tagging First year Hannah more during the summer ported the petition for bring- in Leeds last term. Operations Manager, said, events have taken place on Elliot, of Goodricke college, term, due to students and ing the issue to the attention Another view of the cur- “The most prevalent crime campus in the last twelve has recently been a victim of staff leaving windows and of the Local Development rent situation came from on campus at the moment is months alongside a sticker bicycle theft. “I don’t think doors open. Students are Framework (LDF) of York David Horton, the Labour the theft of bicycles, with campaign involving warning these initiatives will make a urged to report any suspi- City Council. Accusations of spokesperson for Housing. almost one a day being stickers being given out to be difference,” she said. “It’s not cious behaviour, secure their hypocrisy are being levelled "We also need to recognise stolen. We work closely with put on open windows and possible for there to be police windows and doors and lock at the councillor after draw- that many students wish to the police on this and have doors. It is hoped this will by every bike on campus.” their bicycles through the ing attention to the time play an active role in com- tried a number of initiatives.” highlight the danger of bur- According to Little, frame in a well-lit area on Jamieson-Ball spent in York munity life," he said. In a bid to further glary. sneak-in burglaries occur campus. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps News 5

Hockey club ‘fish and York slips in University milk’ initiation messy THE UNIVERSITY of York Hockey Club held its yearly initiation ceremony on the bowling green outside Langwith bar last week. The ceremony, which involved such league tables once again bizarre rituals as drinking week-old choco- late milk from a Wellington boot, drinking a By Nicky Woolf Garner said “It is inevitable bottle of wine through a fish-head and drink- with something of this scale ing an entire can of Carlsberg, caused all par- DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR that there will need to be care- ticipants to be sick, in some cases four or five ful planning.” Garner was times. One bemused onlooker was heard to YORK HAS SLIPPED seven unwilling to comment on where comment: “Well, that was extremely odd.” places in the recent Guardian money from these departmen- University Guide league tables, tal budget cuts was going, say- in the wake of claims that budg- ing only that he did not want to et cuts are affecting teaching “give incorrect information.” Roses Karate teams left quality at the University. Garner linked the league The tables, which claim to table drops to the Guardian and without medical aid “concentrate on teaching”, take The Times’ stopping use of the into account spending per stu- Teaching Quality Assessments SAFETY CONCERNS were raised after the dent, staff-to-student ratio and and Subject Reviews, an inde- complete lack of medical facilities available graduate career prospects, as pendent assessment of teaching for participants in the Roses Karate competi- well as the rankings of the quality in which York has tion became apparent. A woman was recent National Student Survey, always done very well, in com- punched in the throat, blood was drawn from a nationwide poll of student piling their tables. The a male competitor and a third was knocked satisfaction. Guardian tables now use the to the floor and taken to hospital. After each The Guardian now places National Student Survey, in incident, calls for medical assistance were left York 15th in the country, down which York do not rank as high- unheeded. Alex Imrie, head of the Women’s from its eigth place position in ly. team, said that the Karate Society had been 2005. However, a lecturer in “complaining about a lack of trained medics The Times’ Good History, who wished to remain for years” and that the “Judo Club have a sim- University Guide last year also nameless, said that “the overall ilar problem.” saw York sustain a similar slip staff workload has gone up dra- from seventh to 15th place. matically over the past five Earlier in the year Nouse years. Matt Burton proposes reported that a proposed This creates obvious ten- reworking of the Quality sions as students put pressure juice bar on campus Assurance Agency university on the department for more rankings would see York fall teaching whereas they should MATT BURTON, next year’s YUSU Services from first place to 57th. really be putting pressure on and Finance Officer, has pledged to install a Students and academics the administration who make juice bar on campus at some point during the have expressed concerns that Vice-Chancellor Brian Cantor has presided over the slips the spending decisions.” coming year. Currently working on a busi- the recent spate of severe budg- He concluded that “If ness plan for the venture, Burton, whose et cuts to academic depart- between the league table drops “at this point the financial cri- nothing is done, bright students manifesto for election included a student-run ments and the library would and the dramatic budget cuts sis... seems to be having a and high quality staff will venue in the city centre, was hopeful that a affect teaching standards. that academic departments and supremely negative effect on decide they don't want to work juice bar would be popular enough to recoup Amy Foxton, YUSU the library have suffered in both teaching and research.” in York. It won't happen its costs within a year of starting up. “The Academic and Welfare Officer, recent years, saying the cuts A senior departmental overnight, but gradually the business model’s looking really good,” he said said YUSU “realise the were “what any big organisation administrator said that the University will decline.” Brian “I talked with the franchise people at the University must spend its does from time to time.” Garner University administration had Cantor, Vice-Chancellor of the NUS conference last term, and it really could money responsibly, but are also said the cuts were “not become “complacent... spend- University of York, who is make money.” opposed to the University cut- directly linked to the ing far too much time, money responsible for the University’s ting its spending on students.” Heslington East development.” and effort on Heslington East financial security, was unavail- When interviewed, the Last autumn, Nouse quot- and forgetting the importance able for comment. Popular James Provost University’s Press Officer David ed a senior academic from the of our students.” Garner denied any links English department who said When asked for a response, >> Comment p8 retires after 17 years KEN TODD, James College Provost, has announced his retirement after 17 years in the role. Todd, the first ever James College Is York a racist University? Provost, took on the role in 1990. A well- liked and well-respected campus figure, Todd << Continued from front dents are exploiting the univer- whose whereabouts are at York, and do not feel that a was always happy to listen to the concerns of 3,582 local votes. In February sity to gain entry into Britain”. unknown, because students more stringent effort to super- the students in his care. Todd, described by this year, Nouse reported that This claim was based on the have the right to decide where vise my behaviour would be ex-James JCRC Chair and incoming YUSU Ogtay Husseyni, chair of fact that 43 foreign students, they go. International students anything but patronizing.” President Anne-Marie Canning as a “com- Islamic Society, was the victim who have been granted student are a credit to the University Several of the particiu- plete legend,” will be retiring to Devon on of an alleged racist incident visas to enter Britain, have community and as such we pants in the poll suggested ways September 30. A keen ale-drinker, Todd was involving local BNP Officer Ian dropped out of their courses should do our best to support in which international students often to be sighted in Heslington village, fre- Dawson who allegedly without informing the visa requirements which make might become better integrated quenting the local public houses. approached Husseyni and pho- University during the last three their entry possible.” into the campus community. tographed him, threatening to years. Writing in York Vision, One wrote “I believe interna- place his photograph on the far- Of the York Vision article, Richard Byrne Smith called for tional students need to be more Former SU President right website Redwatch and Brian Cantor said on Sunday ‘students who claim visas on the outgoing if they wish to telling him to “get out of my “I’m a believer in freedom of basis of their place in York’ to be improve their experiences. You elected to York Council f**cking country”. The BNP speech, but at the end of the day ‘thoroughly scrutinised before have to immerse yourself in the have recently circulated leaflets people will make up their own they are offered a place to culture here in order to gain the FORMER YUSU President James Alexander in York calling for the burqa to minds, and if you try and play a study’. One participant in the most from being in York. has been elected to York City Council, win- be banned and immigration story up too much then you lose Nouse poll said of the article “I Another wrote “I would like to ning in Holgate ward as a Labour candidate. from Muslim countries to be credibility. I’m not saying it has found Vision’s latest headlines have more chances to meet local Alexander beat the incumbent Liberal halted. been played up too much; I’m about the ‘Immigration residents so as to engage with Democrat with a majority of 113. Alexander Campus newspaper York not commenting on that, I’m Shambles’ extremely irritat- British culture more easily”. was YUSU President 2004-2005 and was Vision opened a new area for just saying that the numbers are ing…Jumping on the anti- One participant wrote commonly referred to as “the Badger”. debate recently with the publi- very low and that people should immigrant band-wagon that “Studying at York is the greatest cation of an article headlined draw their own conclusions the tackier publications of this experience of my life, but some- Reporting by Nicky Woolf, Jenny ‘Immigration Shambles’, which from that.” country tout is a cheap step times racist problems spoil it.” claimed “Incredible new evi- “It is also worth noting that back. I have had an amazing O’Mahony, Jamie Merrill and dence suggests that foreign stu- there are lots of British students time as an international student >> Comment p9 Raf Sanchez Sponsored by NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 Nine York students arrested while protesting at Faslane nuclear base

By Raf Sanchez groups were surrounded by Dumbarton, said, “Having NEWS EDITOR lines of police while they reviewed the evidence in this waited for cutting equipment instance, the decision was to arrive. Lander said “there taken not to take criminal NINE UNIVERSITY OF was a really good feeling of proceedings.” York students were arrested camaraderie between every- Upon receiving the after successfully blockading one” as they lay surrounded news that the government Faslane Naval Base as part of by police. was not seeking to prosecute, the ongoing Faslane 365 Camilla Wimberley, Lander said, “One of the campaign against govern- another York student arrest- objectives of the Faslane 365 ment plans to renew the ed, described how the police campaign is to try and clog Trident nuclear missile sys- covered the protestors with up the courts in order to cost tem. sheets designed to protect them time and money and I The students, as well as them as they used a “rotary would have been quite glad three other York residents, blade saw” to cut through to to be part of that objective, were arrested on March 19 the chains. Describing one because I think it’s worth- after chaining themselves protestor who had covered while. But from a personal together and lying on the his tubing with tar, she said, point of view, it’s a relief.” roads in front of the North “Apparently, one policeman When asked about the and South gates of the base. got quite annoyed because he decision to take direct action Grouped into fours, the pro- got tar on himself and had to by protesting outside, testors chained their arms go get gloves which delayed Lander said, “Part of the together inside of multi-lay- the whole thing.” injustice of the Trident issue ered tubes of carpet, drain- When the chains were is that the debate in pipe and chicken wire, finally cut, the students were Parliament is one-sided. The designed to slow down arrested and removed from public seems on two sides, attempts by police to cut the the area of the base. The but the government seem so chains. males were taken to dead-set on what they’re Both groups successful- Dumbarton police station, going to do.” Wimberley ly deployed out of the van while the females were taken described the Trident and onto their positions on to Grennoch. The students nuclear system as “a colossal the road, a stage many pro- were all released after a few waste of money.” testors don’t reach without hours. The Faslane 365 website being arrested by waiting Speaking of his incar- describes the campaign as police. Ric Lander, one of the ceration, Lander said, “It “an audacious civil resistance students arrested, said, “All does sort of break your spirit initiative to apply critical on my mind was that five to be in a room which smells public pressure for the disar- seconds of getting out of the a little bit of sick with mament of Britain’s nuclear van and onto the ground. I’d absolutely no idea how long weapons.” As of March 2007, heard of so many groups that for. Thinking I was going to there have been 576 arrests didn’t manage, that got be in there for 24 hours was at the base but just 22 prose- arrested as soon as they got very hard. I was trying to cutions. out. I just hoped and prayed mentally prepare myself for The protest took place that didn’t happen. I kept being there all night.” He four days after a vote in the thinking about those five sec- added that “the police were House of Commons in which onds.” really good, really sympa- a bill was passed to renew The human barricades thetic and friendly.” the Trident nuclear system. stopped traffic going into the The decision was taken The Government faced a base for about 45 minutes at not to prosecute any of the rebellion by 95 Labour back- the North gate and over an students. Andrew Miller, benchers, including some 16 hour at the South. The Procurator Fiscal for former Cabinet ministers. Ric Lander being led away by police at Faslane nuclear base. Photo: Dave Taylor York graduate among British captives in Iran By Jamie Merrill Capt Air condemned the on Iranian state TV. Capt Air “On the morning of Friday NEWS CORRESPONDENT action of the Iranian regime said, “that was quite humili- the 23rd of March at approx- saying, “It wasn’t an acci- ating, being paraded as tro- imately half-eight, we left dent. They didn’t think we phies, in front of the media. coalition warship Foxtrot 99. A UNIVERSITY of York were in Iranian waters. They That was really annoying to Our task, our two boats, was graduate, among the Royal clearly decided to go into me.” to go up to the area around Navy personnel seized and Iraqi waters. It was all part of The worst moment, this Persian Gulf area round detained by Iranian authori- a pre-meditated plan to be according to Air, was when here. And approximately, ties, has spoken out against seen as powerful and then be “they lined us up, blindfold- about 10 o’clock in the morn- Iran’s “pathetic” attempt to seen as meaningful. Now we ed us and put blankets over ing, we were seized, appar- make itself seem powerful have had a chance to state our heads. We could hear ently at this point here from and magnanimous by releas- the truth. It’s clear that the people cocking weapons and their maps on the GPS ing the 15 captives 13 days rest of the army can see it as laughing. Using your imagi- they’ve shown us which is into their ordeal. a pathetic act, that they have nation, you imagine the inside Iranian territorial The 15 British personnel to break the law and force worst.” waters.” were released on April 4, some people to lie to gain Iranian state television Whilst at York, Air 2007 when, in a surprise credibility.” had showed footage of Air played University sport and move, Iranian President Captain Chris Air speaking on Iranian state television Air went on to describe indicating on a map where worked for Doorsafe, the stu- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad York in 2003 with a BSc in certainly well within Iraqi how the sailors and marines the crew had been captured, dent security body. John announced their release as a Chemistry before joining the waters, 1.7 miles from were flown to Tehran and appearing to support the Emerson, a friend of Air at “gift” to the British people for Royal Marines in August Iranian waters. We were subject to random interroga- Iranian claims, which the University, said, “It came as a Easter. 2004. taken illegally from inside tion and rough handling, fac- British government have shock when I saw him on the Royal Marine Captain Speaking after his Iraqi territorial waters by ing constant psychological repeatedly denied. news, but it’s good to know Chris Air graduated from release, Air said, “We were force and against our will.” pressure before being shown In the footage he said: he is okay.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps News 7 Burton withdraws YUSU website host bid over conflict of interest

By Raf Sanchez sion of the Executive Committee, YUSU President NEWS EDITOR Rich Croker ordered the meeting into “closed session” A BID BY a company owned on two occasions. During a by Matt Burton to host the closed session all non-voting YUSU website has been members are removed from withdrawn amidst contro- the meeting and minutes are versy after concerns were not taken. Burton said the raised over possible conflict decision to go into closed of-interest. session, and remove the sab- Burton, Service and batical officer-elects, was a Finance Officer-Elect, with- “cloak-and-dagger tactic.” drew a bid by B3, an internet He also refuted assurances company of which he is a by Croker and Hindson that director, after concerns were there would be no discussion raised during a heated of the contract until they Executive Committee returned, saying repeatedly, debate. Burton entered the “They’re discussing it”. bid after seeing the terms of Divisions emerged the contract currently between the old and new favoured by YUSU, which he YUSU officers. Burton and described as a “complete rip- Canning, as well as newly- off” and said was “rushed elected Training Officer Tom through over Easter”. Langrish, argued that the The contract currently conflict of interest associated favoured was put forward by with the B3 contract could an internet hosting company be negated as long as “it was called UKC and offers to managed appropriately”. host the YUSU website for However, the proposal was £140/month. Burton claims met with hostility by the cur- his company could provide rent sabbaticals. the same service for Matt Burton has already caused controversy with a provocative acceptance speech. Photo: Adam Sloan Croker said that upon £90/month as well as host- assuming power, Burton ing the websites of all college immediately switched over The controversy began distinct duties. Firstly, a taken up then Burton, who would become the “line JCRCs and University soci- to the more favourable deal, when an internal YUSU trustee should not put him or will be become a trustee of manager” for all YUSU staff. eties. Burton also claimed to he said it was because memo was circulated on herself in a position where the union once he takes Should conflict arise have consulted an employee Communications Officer April 23 citing guidelines personal interest conflict power, would be in a position between B3 and YUSU staff of the University’s Colin Hindson “doesn’t want given by the NUS on issues with the interests of the to “profiteer” from the union. there would be a “conflict of Computing Service who to get egg on his face” by of trusteeship. It specifically charity and secondly, a Burton replied to the memo interest outside of the agreed with his assessment. backing out of a contract that pointed to a passage reading: trustee should not profit.” saying he “strongly rebuked” trustee issue”. After an hour When asked why he Burton claims has already “The Charity Commission is The memo concluded that if the claim. of debate Burton withdrew thought that YUSU had not been informally agreed. of the view that there are two the B3 contract were to be During the April 25 ses- the bid. Tenancy law aims at protecting students Playboy is not for YUSU only one in twenty students By Alex Stevens Hughes, a third-year, By Milda Sabunaite has heard of the new Scheme STAFF REPORTER YUSU's policies are “rife DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR protecting their deposits. with inconsistency”. Doubts have also been YUSU HAVE VETOED a “If this conflicts with A NEW Tenancy Deposit expressed about the effec- request from Playboy to YUSU's stated policy, how Scheme, created to increase tiveness of the new law. One allow a day of marketing for can it allow events such as the protection of deposits of the interviewed students a modelling talent search. the Playboy Mansion? YUSU taken by landlords, was put commented on contacting The SU would have been needs to sort out its own eth- into practice on April 6. the Scheme in case of con- paid for granting campus ical position before rejecting However, according to recent flict, saying, “It depends on advertising rights, but money from brands which it surveys, neither students nor your relationship with the denied the request because already appears to endorse.” landlords are sufficiently landlord. If it’s good, there the idea was “heterosexist” Campus events have aware of the scheme and the should be no problems, but if and “involved the objectifica- been the subject of contro- ways to use it. it’s bad, contacting a third tion of women.” versy in the national press; The Scheme is designed party might complicate Playboy's aim was to the Guardian featured third- to protect deposits up to things even more.” promote their Playboy UK year Bronach Kane's cam- £25,000 and eliminate cases The Tenancy Deposit Model contest, in which paign against Pole Exercise of landlords keeping the Scheme applies to every ten- women upload pictures of society. deposits on false property ancy agreement signed after themselves wearing lingerie A Playboy marketing initiative was vetoed by YUSU Advertising for their damage claims. April 6. The landlord is to a website. Each model has Playboy.co.uk” and “your pic- The decision has met Goldrush event featured a However, difficulties to obliged to follow one of two a profile which displays their tures on our website adver- with mixed reaction from naked woman sliding down a successfully implement the types of schemes to protect “vital statistics”. tising promotions.” students. pole of coins and “clearly scheme have arisen since a the deposit and inform the Viewers of the website Amy Foxton, YUSU's “I think it's great that promoted the idea of women survey of the Deposit tenant about the choice are encouraged to vote by Academic and Welfare the SU aren't supporting as sexual objects to be Protection Service has within 14 days of signing the text for their favourite Officer, said; “It was decided Playboy,” said Ros Sharpey, a bought and sold”, she said. revealed that one in four contract. model, with texts charged at that Playboy are a company third-year. “This is essential- Hughes countered; “no- landlords is still unaware of According to the new a premium 75p rate. At the we do not wish to promote ly the market of objectifying one is forcing anybody else to the change in law. law, the deposit must be end of each month the win- because they contravene the women in a rather degrading whip off their clothes and Furthermore, a survey car- returned within ten days of ner is granted, among other work we do in promoting way.” parade around in frilly ried out by Nouse has shown reaching an agreement. things, a “lingerie shoot for equality.” But according to David knickers.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 8 Comment Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps 9 Comment & Analysis

A shambles of sensationalism The Educationalist Considers league tables No room for the BNP racists The front-page headline in the last edition of York Vision might appear to the casual observer to represent yet another in a long line of exposed failings The party’s local election disaster is a credit to student activism in University management. However, closer examination of the University’s actions reveals that for once the smoke conceals no fire. York is not being Amy Battye swamped by bogus international students intent on defrauding the British Contributing Writer been reported recently by Nouse. It’s from an organisation which is still free to taxpayer; to suggest that such a phenomenon is widespread not only flies in therefore good to see these bullying tac- speak, free to contest elections, but has the face of all common sense, it also obscures the real challenges posed by Francis Boorman tics are gaining all the success they failed to win the debate and persuade the increasing numbers of students coming to York from abroad. Contributing Writer deserve. people that it is right. That they are rail- The real problem is not students from abroad who have fallen off the The BNP’s spectacular failure to ing against student organisations shows radar, but rather those who were never really on it in the first place. That perform at the ballot box shows that vig- that we, as students, must be doing York is a relatively tiny, highly parochial institution makes it very easy to for- ilance pays off. We should be proud that something right in combatting their get that the visibility of non-British students here is minimal, and that The publication of The Guardian’s 2008 students at our University are willing to rhetoric. The same press officer also sometimes they can be effectively segregated from University society. This University League Tables raises familiar make it be known that we are not expressed frustration that students are segregation takes many forms, but has no singular, identifiable, blameable questions: are British universities Despite fielding a total of nine candi- impressed by underhand tactics and too ready to accept the idea that diversi- source. Instead, it is the product of a culture where international students, achieving as they should? Is York achiev- dates for election to York City Council, thinly veiled threats, nor will we stand by ty is a wonderful thing. Enough said. particularly those who do not speak English as a first language, find it diffi- ing as it should? Are tables at all useful far-right party the BNP managed to gain as racists and extremists try to spread With overall turnout at only 41.8% cult to become involved in campus life. The survey Nouse has conducted within the education sector? only 3582 votes and failed to win a single their pernicious political views by mas- and even lower at 37.2% in the over- provides plentiful evidence to suggest that this need not be the case. Most I am assuming most prospective seat. To put this result in context, the querading as a voice from the main- whelmingly student-based electorate of international students are keen to get involved in student societies and enjoy students won’t look at the rankings in anti-BNP organisation Unite Against stream. Heslington ward, there is a clear lack of their academic courses, but, crucially, many admit that they do not always conjunction with the methodology, prob- Fascism has reported that the BNP field- interest in local politics among students, feel all that welcome at York. Whatever the reasons for such a situation, the ably due to it being rather confusing and ed a record 750 candidates in the recent and very little desire to turn out in sup- need to rectify it is pressing. very boring. However, it yields some council elections with Yorkshire and the It’s good to see the port of the major political parties. Such a Ensuring that racist and xenophobic attitudes are not tolerated on cam- interesting insights. Most important are Humber being a major target area. After high level of apathy is definitely a worry- pus is an important part of the solution, and students and staff alike ought the different weightings given to various large increases for the party in both votes BNP’s bullying tactics ing trend that needs to be addressed, but to be applauded for their efforts to make sure this remains to be the case. factors, perhaps the most important of and council seats won in the past couple it is good to see that, in York at least, this However, effort must be directed not only at the expressions of poor rela- which are those based upon the respons- of years, the most recent elections have are gaining all the is not translating into a protest vote for tions between different groups, but also at their root causes. It is often sug- es of graduates to the National Student yielded the BNP only one extra council parties like the BNP. gested that the high fees paid by international students mark them out as Survey. These give the most recent infor- seat. success they deserve Student politics currently has a something of a commodity, valued not for their contribution to student life mation on universities and their courses, The failure to gain popular support problem in working out it ought to fight but their contribution to the University’s coffers. Anyone subscribing to this and are formulated from the views of stu- in our local area is highly encouraging for, but at the very least the politics of view needs to think very carefully about the basic assumptions that under- dents, not just nitty gritty facts and fig- given efforts by the BNP and associated A national press officer for the BNP intolerance is something we can all agree pin such an exploitative standpoint. ures. The Guardian rankings refer to fascist website Redwatch to make their has compared YUSU to the Marxist that we must fight against. There was no More importantly, two temptations must be avoided. The first is to these in their ‘feedback’ and ‘teaching presence known. Attempts by members Communists of the Soviet Union “who room on York Council for the BNP this assume that decrying racism and voting against the BNP is all we should be quality’ sections and they are weighted at of both these organisations to intimidate stifled debate and free speech”. This time around. Let’s make sure it stays that doing as people concerned to live in a society where all feel welcome. The five and ten percent respectively; not “Who’s pissing in the flowerbeds now?” York University staff and students have rather bizarre characterisation comes way in the future. second, opposite but equally pernicious, is to think that sensationalising much compared to the 17% allowed to such a complex and subtle issue comes anywhere close to confronting it. ‘student-staff ratio’ and ‘funding per stu- dent’. Secondly, the highly publicised No-one past the post tables give a broad-brush picture, but Pick a side, any side will do Red herrings and scapegoats there are also rankings for individual Anyone who has ever bemoaned students’ lack of interest in political partic- subject areas. On these figures, York ipation could be forgiven for softly banging their heads against a wall last varies greatly from the overall 15th place: And now for something completely indifferent The AWOL Internationals: an issue blown well out of proportion? Thursday night. Hordes of eager students arrived bright-eyed at Vanbrugh for Art and Design we’re 2nd, Computer polling station to exercise their democratic right, only to be told that - at least Science 3rd and Psychology 4th, while at mean by this is that the opportunities for tions, and all they involve, that makes me All in all there seem to be three is it to remedy this problem? Can anyone as far as the electoral register was concerned - they did not exist. This was not the other extreme English has dropped a proper, old-fashioned fight – a real, feel uneasy around anyone who takes main problems. The first plays out like a really deny that the University upholds a symptom of lack of forethought, since all students resident on campus to 21st, Physics 32nd and Education Sam Thomas gritty knee-in-the-ballsack bust-up, with them seriously. James detective drama: the students have gone its end of the bargain with a multitude of ought to have been automatically registered to vote. Worse, many students 42nd. But even these rankings aren’t as Comment Editor a gloating winner, and a bruised, brave- This lamentable apathy for the dem- AWOL, and no-one is quite sure where social provisions and welfare support were reassured that they would be eligible, only to find out that this was not clear-cut as they might seem. These are faced loser – are few and far between ocratic process, though, this unfortunate Macdougald they are now. This is in fact an enormous staff? the case. broad subject areas; for example, these days. Elections and sporting com- lack of interest in who storms the Contributing Writer red herring. Why exactly ought we to be The idea of a problem without No bureaucratic procedure is free from the risk of administrative slip- ‘Education’ combines both teaching and petitions are two rare occasions upon citadels of power, pales in comparison to concerned about their present where- blame must be difficult to fathom for ups, and the electoral process is more Byzantine than most. This, though, is educational studies. Is it fair to combine which people can abandon all their pre- the way I feel about the sporting life. abouts? Perhaps because their student some, but that is all this really amounts no mere slip-up: it amounts to the systematic disenfranchisement of untold these two considering that one is a voca- tences to co-operation or tolerance and Come disbelief, mockery or spitting vitri- visas do not permit them, having discon- to. Britain offers residency to foreign stu- numbers of eligible voters, for many of whom last Thursday’s election would tional course, the other focused on theo- Two battlegrounds have loomed large in really, truly hate their neighbour: be he a ol from the devout, I remain totally, tinued their studies at the University, to dents in exchange for increased fees and have been their first. It is, in short, nothing short of an outrage. Every possi- ry and research? Similarly, ‘Art and the run-up to this edition. In one corner Tory stuffed shirt, a Labour apparatchik unreservedly and unapologetically indif- The recently disclosed disappearance of remain in the country? But then surely if the obvious economic returns inherent in ble precaution must be taken to ensure that this problem never occurs again, design’ lumps together fine arts, comput- of campus, the local elections deter- or a Lancastrian scumbag. ferent to the outcome of any sporting 42 international students from the York they are breaking the law, that must be a educating a foreign labour force. It’s the and students denied the right to vote ought to expect nothing less than a full er graphics and video games. mined once and for all which political The coincidence of the two on the event. Football, cricket, rugby, competi- campus has provided a crucial insight Home Office matter, and not the Government’s job to administrate immi- investigation, and a sincere apology from those responsible - as well as an Tables also differ wildly from year to animals would seize control of York’s same bank holiday weekend, then, is tive dancing – it doesn’t matter, I just into the stock method of apportioning University’s responsibility. Most likely gration. It’s the University’s job to edu- assurance that no student at York in the future will be denied their funda- year. In 2007 The Times ranked York awesome can recycling and road-widen- something close to a dream ticket, par- can’t care who wins. It’s not that I hate blame in crises such as this. The pattern (why not go with the simplest explana- cate students, immigrant or otherwise. mental democratic right to cast a vote in a free, fair and open election. 15th, The Sunday Times had York as 7th ing powers. Meanwhile, generous buck- ticularly for the ravenous hacks of sport, or even dislike it: I can see perfect- is increasingly familiar. First and fore- tion – after all, ‘entities should not be So far, help has arrived in the form of an No matter whether it affected the result, the result for the Heslington in 2006 and 6th in 2004. The drop is etfuls of Lancastrian blood were spilt out Grimston House: even the fabled ‘other ly well that many people get a lot out of most, students are immediately absolved multiplied beyond necessity’) is that they intemperate blame-fest. History ought to ward cannot be said to satisfy these conditions, and that is a sorry state of there to see, but there is wide variation in on the Astroturf, as the annals of history paper’ felt compelled to cut their holiday it, and I will happily sit and watch crick- of all blame for whatever went wrong. have all legally returned to their native have taught us that witch-hunts do not affairs indeed. methodology between the three. The were ceremonially rewritten in the annu- sort and scamper back to their burrow, et on a warm summers’ day with a pint. I Accountability is dealt out in broad countries. solve problems: they obfuscate the most recent Guardian Table includes a al Roses competition. even if it was only to use the photocopier. just don’t care who’s winning at the time, strokes, both to the government and the If some or all of them have remained potential for real solutions, and instead value-added score and another for grad- Enthusiasm for both these events Only one person was left feeling a little nor do I really understand why I should. University authorities. in the UK, we arrive at the second per- create a menagerie of red herrings and In praise of York uates’ job prospects which were deter- has run high in the Nouse office the last confused in the midst of this jamboree of And for that reason I will forever remain The University has limited PR capa- ceived problem: that the country is being scapegoats to make sure that finding mined using a different calculation than few weeks. The news team were giddy good old-fashioned animosity. That lone- an intrigued but confused onlooker. bilities and has so far wisely decided to overrun by an army of self-serving eco- them is all but impossible. Shakespeare had him spend his final moments on his knees in the mud of in previous years. It also has to be borne with excitement at the prospect of anoth- ly soldier, dear reader, that proverbial I’m aware this is an unpopular view, hold its peace. But the government – in nomic migrants! This is a little difficult So let me be absolutely frank: there Bosworth field, pleading for a horse, a horse, his kingdom for a horse — but in mind that the National Student er chance to flex their pundit muscles, nun in a brothel, was yours truly. particularly on a victorious Roses week- this case the local government and, more to swallow when one considers the hefty isn’t really a problem, and if there is, it on Thursday morning the ghost of King Richard of York had the last laugh, Survey was introduced only in 2005 and eagerly ambushing polling stations and I will confess a selective and casual end, and I’d hate to pour cold water on specifically, Cllr Ceredig Jamieson-Ball, fees incumbent on non-EU overseas stu- can’t be taken to be the fault of any one as our students on horseback comprehensively trounced the visitors from the rankings are still adapting to its pestering beleaguered candidates. More interest in political affairs, in much the any celebrations, particularly since the recently returned to his Heslington ward dents. If the students have coughed up party in particular. Most enrolled over- across the Pennines. This would mark the beginning of a weekend that saw inclusion even as universities themselves general, however, was the palpable desire same way that someone who once rest of this paper is full of them. with a significant majority – is quicker on these fees, voluntarily dropped out of seas students are still with us. If anyone Lancaster thoroughly bested, and the Roses trophy triumphantly returned try to implement its recommendations. shared by all to prove, once and for all, watched Rambo might confess an inter- Personally, I’m delighted we won, the draw. education and then remained in the feels like launching a vigilante action- on Sunday afternoon to its rightful owners. I know that the tone of what I’ve that this newspaper and its staff of sensi- est in going to fight in a war. I certainly because it’s a small reward for the In this instance, Jamieson-Ball has country (albeit in breach of immigration wagon, such as hunting the missing stu- All those involved in organising the event are to be applauded for put- written might suggest I’m defending the tive bookish types could adequately cover find it all very interesting, and even occa- boundless enthusiasm of everyone deftly shifted all responsibility onto laws), there is still no reason to assume dents down and delivering them a hefty ting on a fine weekend. All the sportsmen and women involved we salute for University: I’m not. Over the last three a major sporting event without getting sionally feel compelled to take sides, but involved. True, I’ve no idea whatsoever weaker shoulders, claiming it is ‘impera- that they are not making a valid contri- slap on the wrist for dropping out with- a job well done. The Lancaster rugby team also merit an honourable men- years, I’ve seen standards and faith in the something catastrophically and embar- the second it turns into something com- where that enthusiasm comes from – but tive’ that overseas students receive a bution to the economy by earning their out notifying the proper authorities, you tion, for their impressive attempt to redistribute hundreds, possibly thou- academic reputation of this University rassingly wrong. bative, with people staking out their am grateful all the same that everyone proper level of support from the keep elsewhere. may do as you please. For my part, I plan sands of cans of cheap Dutch lager all over our campus, by way of their dan- drop amongst present and past students. If I was going to don my battered positions and insisting I pick a side, I’m else makes up for my obvious shortcom- University. I do not want to paint the Problem number three: perhaps to join the overwhelming majority of gerously overworked urinary tracts. Cheers for that, lads. There are many reasons for this and I’m and tattered cultural commentary hat, I finished. Naked political ambition is the ings, which will leave me forever bored University authorities as helpless victims these students disappeared on account of York students in failing to worry about A final word must be said for the intrepid Nouse web team, who risked not going to go into them here. I do, might well opine that politics and sport one thing I find truly frightening, and on a Saturday afternoon and doomed to in this, but it must be obvious that it is their struggle successfully to integrate international students using York as an life, limb and sunburn to provide what was universally recognised — even by however, implore you to be skeptical of represent the two last red-blooded activ- this applies no matter how much I like failure in every pub quiz in which I ever not necessarily they who bear the entire into the social life of the University. A unorthodox asylum loophole. Instead, the losing side’s Vice Chancellor — as the best Roses coverage the Internet these tables and rankings, and their util- ities left for those seeking release in our people personally or agree with their partake. I’ll leave it to you to decide who responsiblity for the disappearance of problem, admittedly. Imperative, as I’ll be enjoying the warm weather and has ever seen. Here’s looking forward to next year. ity as a source of comparative data. neutered, consensual society. What I views. There’s just something about elec- the real winner is. these students. Ceredig would say. But whose imperative getting on with my life. >> FESTIVALS SPECIAL M10-11 >> CAMPUS KEN M9 SUMMER WEEK THREE Which ones will you go to? The life of a York legend Tuesday May 8 2007 MUSE

In it for the money: Why some students choose to combine their nightlife with their worklife M2 Columns 08/05/07 Muse 08.05.07 NanFlory Student strippers >> M4 Caraline Macfarland meets York’s My life as a spy; or, most daring part-timers friendship for finalists Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant The creators of ‘Extras’ air their views on America, the future of the show and tormenting people for fun >> M7 t’s hard to find something The other day, I realised gets Men’s Health delivered, you to write about these days. that I don’t have a relationship can make certain assumptions. Especially something that with my housemates; instead, I Depending on how committed A passage to Africa >> M6 Idoes not involve consoling spy on them. Actually classing they are, Men’s Health readers third years about the terrible this as a realisation is perhaps a range from those who get up at Amy Milka on hitching across France and tragedy that has befallen them bit rich; it’s more of a reframing 2am to drink protein shakes to Spain, all the way to Morocco all: the end of university and the on my part and one which is well those who spend all their time prospect of finding something worth it. Being a spy is much and effort trying to trick girls else to do (I’m sure it’s not going cooler than being antisocial. into having sex with them. to be all that bad). No, these last Although I suppose that only Men’s Health reveals the little The life and times couple of months have been works if the reason you’re being known fact that, if you’re a boy, pretty quiet. I know a lot about antisocial in the first place is not you don’t ever actually like girls, of Campus Ken AIDS in the 1980s, about cow- just because of the fact that you just convince them that you boys, violence and America, not you’re a spy. I’m being antisocial do so that they’ll give you right Jamie Merrill has a pint nearly enough about the philos- because it’s finals time. of way on the slip road to the sex with the campus legend ophy of literature, and very little The spy in The Lives of autobahn. Extra surveillance for about what everyone else has Others, a spy film (ish) that I those types. A step up from not- of hairdressing >> M9 been doing. saw recently, is very sad, lonely, ing the type of post your subject I only keep track of my bitter and twisted until he stops receives would be actually read- housemates through the state of being a spy. In fact, he never ing their mail. I haven’t gone Mud, music and the carpets. We have a policy really gets over the whole spy that far yet. I think steaming against vacuuming, which experience. Conclusion: being a envelopes is for the career spy mayhem >> M10 means that you can tell who’s spy is only a good idea if it’s just only. been hanging around by the for fun, to take your mind off a The library is a good place We provide the ultimate guide imprints they leave in close to a duller reality, an alternative to to combine recreational spying to this summer’s festival season year’s worth of accumulated actual socialising when extrane- with more productive behaviour. dust. Lately, there have mostly ous circumstances rule it out. Library desks can be very been small, fawn-like tracks – a I’ve been practising. Some informative. The type of books, sure sign that Holly’s been tips: invest in lace curtains how many there are, the neat- sneakily watching the Jeremy which you can see through - ness of note-taking - it’s all Music: New Young Pony Film: The Curse of the Kyle show again - and a few they’re like domestic one-way wordless communication. The man-size feet shapes outlined in mirrors. Also, flicking them feels other day I saw one girl who’d Club and Bob Dylan >> M16 Golden Flower >> M18 cigarette ash: Jack’s back. distinctly spy-like - a classic brought in her own desk tidy. (I Footsteps on my ceiling mean move. Thick glasses will make think she might get a first.) She Arts: Women Beware B&R: Which lolly pop to Sophie is home and hearing the people think you can’t see when had a paper shredder as well, Beatles across the hallway you take them off, and encour- that she periodically fed notes Women, book reviews and cool you down? >> M19 means Rebecca’s in. A full fridge age them to let their guard down into. If you see her, steal from means five housemates co-exist- and do telling things while her out-tray before she gets Open Drama Nights at the Listings: YUSU Elections ing and over the weeks I’ve you’re around. Oh, and a trench- around to disposal time, ok? developed a sense of the nuances coat you can hunch under, Here’s betting genius is getting Drama Barn >> M17 and Hilary Benn >> M20 of fullness which means that, at maybe in grey. torn up by that stubborn little any one time, I can tell you how A good place to start is the metal box. At the other extreme, many people are at home, even if relevant letterbox. Post tells you unless this person is doing a I haven’t physically seen them. loads. For example, if someone media studies course, reading

of cliff hangers, combined with the instant ber of his videos going viral over the past BenTattersallSmith access provided by the internet, had just couple of months. Buxton’s clever manipu- proved too much for my notoriously weak lation of media clips, ranging from Songs Confessions of an addict willpower to take. I had devoured episode of Praise to Richard and Judy to the Pope’s after episode, immersing myself in a world Funeral, clearly puts him at the forefront ’ve never tried crack, or heroin, for that obscure Sky channel, however it’s available of flying men and indestructible cheer- of internet comedy. You can see them all at matter. Hell, I’m so straight-laced I’ve in all its glory online at one of a multitude leaders. www.youtube.com/adambuxton. Inever even smoked a cigarette before. of websites that allow you to watch There are loads of other legally dubi- Another comedy talent embracing the Last week though, I got a small taste of episodes of your favourite TV shows on the ous sites springing up online allowing you internet is Will Ferrell, who has put his what addiction feels like when I started internet. My choice for Heroes is currently to watch the back catalogue of your considerable clout behind the new website watching Heroes. www.tv-links.co.uk. favourite TV shows and films. Try www.funnyordie.com. This video sharing For those of you who don’t know yet, I started to watch Heroes one evening www.yourtvlinks.com or www.alluc.org, site is solely for comedy, and was launched Heroes is the new blockbuster television after I’d heard about it in passing on the for example. A legal alternative well-worth with quite a bit of hype recently thanks to show from the States, featuring a large cast radio. It started off innocently enough - a checking out is Channel 4 On Demand a hilarious sketch from Ferrell himself, in of predictably beautiful people who begin quiet night when no one was going out and (www.channel4.com/4od), which offers which he clowns around at his very best to discover that they have superpowers. I had reached my limit with revision; why crucial student viewing, such as Hollyoaks and runs the full gambit of emotions, from Think the ‘ooh I wish I could do that’-ness not check out what the buzz was about this and Peep Show, for free. It’s good to see aggressive to sad victim, in a matter of sec- of X-Men meets the epic scale of Lost. Oh, new show? Fast-forward 24 hours: 13 Channel 4 taking the lead in this area. onds during a confrontation with his and Heroes is actually good, whereas Lost episodes watched, an economics lecture A face you may remember from unlikely landlord. is just frustratingly awful. missed and squat all other work done. I Channel 4’s past is that of Adam Buxton, Anyway, I’d love to stay and tell you Heroes has only just started showing was a Heroes junkie, desperate for another one half of the Adam and Joe show. He has more, but - what can I say - there’s a new in the UK and can only be viewed on an fix. The gripping storyline and cunning use created quite a splash online with a num- episode of Heroes to watch. 08/05/07 Columns M3

Russia in statue row with Estonia PhillippineSuspicious helicopter substance crashModbury kills found 7 at isflat Warm weather brings Earthquake shakes partfirst of to Kent ban risk of summer smog Man arrested in mugging ofMouse woman,plastic brain simulated 101bags on Police chief attacked over picturescomputer Man convicted of hammer killings The world’s gone mad Stories you might have missed

The organisers of last month’s inaugural Horsham Reading Festival, which invited an array of literary talent to read aloud to enraptured book fiends, were inundated with some 5000 ticket requests on their website. Their delight turned to bemusement when only 200 people turned up. A small-scale telephone survey, conducted after the event, revealed that the vast majority of their online customers believed they had pur- chased tickets to Reading Festival.

A pot of jam has received an official warning from Suffolk County Council for public order offences. Residents of Stowmarket complained about loud music being played at night from a disused turkey slaughterhouse. After several late- night calls from noise control officers were ignored by the owner (because, it later transpired, he had emigrated to Bermuda), the police forced entry into the premises to serve a summons on the miscreant. It turned out to be a jar of Tiptree Raspberry Seedless which had fallen from a shelf onto a radio, switching it on. ‘Nobody is above the law,’ said a council spokesman. The jam was unavailable for comment.

The inhabitants of Palzem in Germany were last week talking with police about a package delivered to them by an alleged terrorist cell with links to Al-Qaeda. The parcel contained Heat is not going to help, even detailed bomb-making instructions, a carbon detonator, 300 if you are reading it in the cross-head screws, instructions for the development of pitch- library. A different kind of education blende and a packed of ‘Easi-Stir’ chow mein noodles. A source If frivolous spying gets you said that the package had been intended for delivery to Palzem hooked, I suggest you contact ’ve been watching a lot of daytime warped impression of the outside in Sirnak on the Turkey-Iraq border. ‘We couldn’t think who MI5. They recently carried out TV. I have this theory that writing world. If daytime TV rang true, the could do such things,’ the astonished postmaster of Palzem told a big operation which involved Iessays in front of the telly is a good whole country would be populated reporters, ‘although we suspected the French.’ The mayor’s sneaking into a storage facility way to focus; it stops you from being with pathological attention grabbers office of Palzem in Turkey issued a translated statement which and exchanging half a tonne of able to think tangentially. You can’t and very brave children. read: ‘We despises these the alleges her Germans outcast the fertiliser for half a tonne of cat think about much more than your I’ve also seen some late-night TV. mental condition foolish.’ Which, it goes without saying, didn’t litter. Actually, I wonder if it essay thesis and a cooking pro- A film where Richard E. Grant culti- help matters. was still half a tonne – the gramme, rather than your essay thesis vates a talking boil on his neck and has equivalent volume of cat litter and all the alternative theses that you to start wearing a wine carton on his Elderly Margaret May McKenney of Roanoke, Virginia, suf- might not be as heavy, or per- might be writing on. I found out some head so his facial movements won’t fered a fatal heart attack when telephoning her daughter to say haps it’s heavier, as the fertiliz- good stuff. How to make: a lychee wake it up. He starts off as an advertis- that she’d just won the $2 million state lottery. ‘She was getting er. This is the kind of stuff you’d martini, lychees stuffed with cream ing executive and if that’s not a clear all excited and I guess she just died of happiness,’ sighed know if you were a career spy. cheese, lychee marinade for smoked hint about unsavoury career paths, I Louisa McKenney. The visiting coroner found the successful I don’t recommend it though; salmon. I also found out some weird don’t know what is. ticket clutched in Mrs McKenney’s hand. It did not contain any my idea is definitely to get back stuff. Daytime TV and Channel 5 are And Wayne’s World was on. of the evening’s winning numbers. to socialising - to wash that spy the destination of choice for exhibi- Cathartic and didactic in equal meas- right outta my hair, along with tionists with unusual talents. Like ure. ‘Are you mental?’ Wayne says. ‘Are A man in Knocknalina, Ireland, claims he is being haunted by the 1980s, cowboys and philos- thinking you’re a reincarnated famous you mental?’ My response is along the the ghost of the late Mary Whitehouse, self-proclaimed ophy. Spying might be more person, maybe Elvis or Marylin line of hahahaha, oh god, yes, a bit, guardian of public morals. Giving his name variously as fun, but health-wise it’s the Monroe. Or Merlin or the Timelord. hahaha, cry cry cry, hahahaha. The ‘Michael’ and ‘Mary Whitehouse’, the medium told the local poor-man’s alternative to con- It’s horrible really. While most of soci- film moves on swiftly to Alice Cooper newspaper that Mrs Whitehouse urges him to crusade for versation. I can’t wait to rejoin ety is at school or work, insecure stu- being Zen. And then it’s Party Time, Christian morality in the media. ‘To be sure, she can be a the madding crowd. dents and homemakers get an entirely Party Time. Just what we all need. bloody auld nuisance,’ said Michael, before adding sharply: ‘Now you cut that filthy talk out this minute, young man!

dle-aged kit and caboodle is too much cealing of a wife, Mr. Rochester style. lied, he had also set up a camera on to bear. I made him promise to abstain Turning up unbidden at his home, she timer to record his betrayal. Sex, lies and love from marital fornication until further was horrified to stumble on a scene of Determined to complete the notice. I needed to consider whether I dinnertime domesticity involving not a transaction, I took the sly route. ‘She’s truncheons could overcome my jealousy and, if spouse, but parents. It soon appeared so much older than you’, I murmured. not, what to do about it. If I asked him that Simon was not, as claimed, a 24- To my surprise, he ventured guiltily: llow me to recap - lying three to leave her, could I tie myself down year-old post-graduate, but a 17-year- ‘Actually…’ Turns out Mike is well abreast with my cleaner and my indefinitely? If he refused, would I old A Level student. She shagged him into his 50s, maintaining a sem- Amarried lover Mike, all sticky leave him? My feelings for Mike were anyway. There’s something titillating blance of youth by virtue of follicle but happy, the first seeds of guilt becoming problematic. After years of about inappropriate age gaps. After implants and a superior gene pool. were planted when our post-orgas- dipping willy-nilly in and out of lustful being reintroduced to the ‘three pumps Back in halls, I found Tina mic snug was disturbed by a call from liaisons sans regard to consequences, I and a squirt’ school of love-making, bemoaning the inadequacies of Mike’s wife. The guilt quickly turned had finally come unstuck. He agreed to Tina concluded that he was not only youth. Comparing stories, we realised into jealousy. my request and I felt reassured. younger than claimed but also less that dishonesty was a common male Much as I wouldn’t want Meanwhile, my housemate experienced. That’s right, gawping feature. Why do men feel okay lying some tart and her cleaner med- Tina was having a great time readers, Simon was a virgin. to women to lure them to bed? I’m no dling in my marriage, I don’t whiling away the evenings Meanwhile, I was questioning angel, but I’m honest, even if brutally relish the interference of a with a young gentleman Mike’s promise. Searching in his bed- so. After Tina’s brief encounter, dried up old crone and her named Simon. However, side drawer, I stumbled upon a photo- which left her sticky but by no means insipid rugrats in my illic- she was suspicious that graph of him at the mercy of his aging happy, she dumped him in the man- it affair. The idea of him his avoidance of invit- yet beleathered succubus. A recognis- ner befitting to a schoolboy: by text. I sticking his love trun- ing her back to his able lovebite on his neck told me this sense that solving my own sticky love cheon into her mid- was due to his con- was recent. This stung. Not only had he triangle won’t be so simple. M4 In-depth 08/05/07 Nipple tassles and essay hassles Stacking shelves at Sainsbury’s or stripping? Caraline Macfarland talks to students who have chosen the more controversial of the two to fund their university degrees

f asked to imagine a stereotypical her money. For Marie*, a third year Lara says. “And it’s the only job I can many don’t care, and then there’s the stripper, most people would come History of Art student, people knowing think of where you can just sit all times that being able to make intelli- up with a picture of a busty, per- isn’t such a problem, but she still night drinking champagne and chat- gent conversation is an advantage. I’ve Ioxide-blonde, ‘Page Three’ type wouldn’t work in York because “it’s ting! On the other hand, I have met had men pay £100 just because they female. The three strippers I know, small enough as it is. I don’t want to be some of the most repulsive men. But want to talk to me for another half however, are average-looking walking past people on the street that I that’s just part of the job. The other hour... well, that’s what they say any- brunettes - and students at the danced for the night before.” girls are generally really nice and we all way!” University of York who have chosen to Marie first lap danced on her gap get on and have a laugh, it’s not all It certainly seems like a fairly var- balance their studies with stripping. year in Australia to fund her travels, bitchy and back-stabbing like you’d ied job. “I’ve seen it all!” Marie remi- When I talk to the three women and she now finds lap dancing a good think.” nisces. “The guys never cease to sur- about their jobs, it quickly becomes solution to student debt. “Students I asked the women if they felt that prise me. There was this guy who told clear that the main reason they chose need money, fast, and we don’t have the fact they are students helped or all the other customers that he was my to enter this ‘niche’ area of employ- much time. In that sense this is the hindered the job in any way. They all husband - it was so embarrassing! And ment is, fairly predictably, the money. ideal job.” However, she does find that perceived a certain divide between whenever I gave him a dance he cried, Earnings in one night, I am told, can others are quick to make judgments them and the women who choose to because he was such a lonely man. vary from £100 “on a really bad day” to about what she does. “People don’t dance as a full-time job. “It does set And the things you hear, from stags the best part of £1,000 at the week- know about it like we do. They just cre- you apart... I feel distanced intellectu- who are supposed to be getting mar- ends. Technically self-employed, ate a picture in their heads of what it’s ally because some of the girls don’t ried in a week, or married men even, dancers pay an entry fee to work in a like in a strip club. They don’t know the have the same intellectual capacity... really undermines my faith in men.” club and then keep around 70% of half of it. I think it’s easier to call us Which brings us to the issue that their earnings in the night. One lap whores or slags than to understand it.” makes this particular job controversial dance, lasting around three minutes, is Whilst it may be “the ideal student in many people’s opinions. Isn’t the between £10 and £20, so potentially job” in terms of money, what about the “At the end of the day we’re concept of taking your clothes off for the girls can earn up to £140 an hour. dangers of working in that sort of envi- money degrading to a woman, the fem- “To a certain extent it depends on ronment? The women all seem very taking men’s money and just inist in me asks? The overall consensus your luck and how busy the club is,” sure about their safety, however: “I is no: “If you’ve got it, why not use it to says Lara*, a third year Politics stu- think the potential dangers are very doing is quick dance. There’s earn money with!” says Sally. dent. “The clubs I’ve worked in cater similar to any sort of bar work” says “At the end of the day, men are more for businessmen and the higher Lara. “You have to be able to handle two sides to the exploitation” paying us to take our clothes off. But end of the market, so it’s not unusual to people who have been drinking, and as we are taking their money and all we’re find people willing to spend a few hun- long as you’re confident and firm with *Names have but that’s like anyone you meet on a doing is a quick dance. There’s two dred pounds at a time.” them then you can avoid any problems. been changed day-to-day level,” Marie explains. It sides to the exploitation!” insists Lara. In the last year, two lap dancing It’s certainly not the sort of job where can be a hindrance in terms of interac- “At least its a fair exchange without any clubs have opened on Micklegate. ‘the customer is always right’ and we’re tion with the clientele, however: “The false pretences. To be honest I’ve felt Only one of the women I spoke to, obliged to do whatever they want.” men don’t like us to talk, they prefer it far more degraded by the typical arro- however, works in York; the others There are strict no-touching rules if we haven’t got brains. I think we gant rugby boy who’s only after one only take jobs in cities such as in most clubs, bouncers on the doors scare them because we’re threatening thing.” Sheffield, Leeds and Manchester. and often camera surveillance. “In the when we’re intelligent - they can objec- “It’s only degrading if you let it be,” Sally*, a second year nursing student, club I first worked in, if a man so much tify us if we’re not.” says Marie. “As long as you don’t let the prefers to work in York because the as rested his hand on a girl’s leg he To a certain extent, Lara agrees: job define who you are, then self- early licensing laws means the clubs would be physically thrown out by the “A lot of men want their classic ‘strip- respect and dignity acts as a body- close at 3am, whereas dancers in larger bouncers, who would come at the per fantasy’ and I can’t really bring guard.” She maintains that the job can cities may be working until 7am. The smallest signal. Where I work now myself to act like a bimbo for over also be seen as empowering for other two girls say that they would there are similar rules, but the bounc- eight hours at a time. They always women; “a power trip both ways”. She never work so close to home, in case ers and management are more relaxed know straight away that I’m a student, does feel, however, that the job has someone they knew came into the club. so you have to draw the line yourself.” probably because I don’t sound like changed her perception of men. “When Only one of the women freely tells So do they find it enjoyable? “I I’m from up north, and some- I first started dancing, it did ruin my her friends and family about her con- don’t get off on it, but it’s easy money,” times they say ‘good on you, trust in blokes in general, but now troversial part-time job. Sally has told shrugs Marie. “It’s not amazingly glam- you’re better than these that I’m older, and understand a handful of her friends, whereas even orous, but in my experience strip clubs other girls’, but I do get how the whole strip club some of Lara’s closest friends and aren’t the seedy, sleazy sort of clubs you the impression it some- thing works, I realize it’s housemates don’t know how she earns see in the films,” times puts men off. But a certain type of man who come. 08/05/07 In-depth M5

I can’t generalise or it would complete- ly ruin my faith in guys.” None of the women would ever date someone they met at the club. It seems that the women are certainly not impressed with men who choose to fre- quent strip clubs out of choice (as opposed to say, going to a stag party). “A couple of weeks ago a guy was telling me about an FHM article that gave tips on ‘how to pull a stripper’,” Lara recalls. “Things like ‘have just one dance from her, then talk to her friends for a while so she doesn’t think you’re too keen,’” she laughs. “As if I would ever go out with a guy who likes to pay to see a girl naked! Okay, there are some fanciable guys that come in, usually with stag parties, but it would be ridiculous to have a relationship with someone who first met you as a stripper. When it comes down to it we are dancing for money, not because we think its a good way to meet men, and the guys that think they have a chance are just delud- ed.” Whether degrading or empower- ing, does taking their clothes off for money change the way these women see themselves and their bodies? “I’m a very independent person, and always have been,” says Marie. “To a certain extent doing this job has extended that independence, especially when I was alone in Australia at the age of 18. I think I’m more empowered, and noth- ing phases me now. I also pride myself on not being judgemental.” “I don’t see myself differently because I don’t think of myself as a stripper,” Lara admits. “I still have issues with my body and go on diets and all the rest of it, even though I have dozens of men telling me I’m beautiful and practically falling in love with me every week. It’s a bit of an ego boost though, that men willingly spend money to see me take my clothes off.” The women all keep their lives separate from work, creating a persona when they are at the clubs (they have stage names) and acting quite indiffer- ently to the job itself. I ask, money aside, if the job contributes to their life in any positive way. “Actually, it sounds strange but there are skills to be learnt, or at least developed from the job,” argues Lara. “If I had to defend my choice of work, say if a future employer ever found out, I’d be able to do so. We make our money by convincing men (and women sometimes) to have as many dances from us as possible. We have to be confident with communica- tion and persuasion – it’s like a sales and marketing pitch!” Bizarrely, this line of work also seems to have good travel prospects. Sally recently went to New York for a week and worked in a club there. “After flights and the hotel I didn’t actually make any money, but it was a good trip,” she says. “The club was much seedier though.” “Some of the dancers I know have worked all around the world, in places pared to defend what they do, when ing a full-time career as a lap dancer earn in one night. But they all main- asked if they would recommend the after they leave university? “It’s easy to tain that they couldn’t see themselves “People don’t know the half of job to other students, the answer is a get used to earning so much, and get becoming full-time strippers, not only resounding “no”. “My sister was think- sucked into the lifestyle,” says Sally, due to the physically demanding and it. I think its easier for them to ing of doing it, and I told her not to,” who earned up to £40,000 last year. unsociable hours but also because of Marie explains. “I’ve seen girls who Towards the end of our interview, how- the lack of intellectual skills required just call us whores or slags than aren’t as confident and comfortable ever, she admits that she is thinking of for the job. “I need to use my brain, or with it cry and cry after their first dropping out of her course, and cites it’s not good for the soul,” says Marie. to try and understand it.” dance.” her job as one of the reasons. “I’m very ambitious. I know what “You have to have a strong charac- Nevertheless, she intends to get a full- I want to do in my life, and I don’t see like Tenerife, France and Denmark,” A working ter and be able to be detached from the time job eventually, and dances only to myself following a career in stripping,” says Lara. She is putting her earnings night: strippers job,” says Lara. “It shouldn’t be a last pay off the mortgage on a house she says Lara. towards a gap year after she graduates often work resort.” has just bought with her earnings. “Even if the money isn’t as good, this year, while Marie intends to use until early Since the money is almost defi- It would be understandably hard I’d prefer a challenging career. But if hers to fund an MA in Australia. morning nitely better than the average graduate to go back to earning in a month in a I’m ever short of cash, this is always As much as the women are pre- job, I ask if any of them are consider- graduate job what they can currently something to fall back on!” M6 Travel 08/05/07 Morocco: the Hitchhiker’s Guide

This Easter, Amy Milka joined the annual student migration to Africa. She remembers the OAPs, squaddies and French fascist who helped her to blag her way across the continent

hings I have gained from the road, we discovered that the area was hitch to Morocco: a newfound solely populated by OAPs. One of these, appreciation for toilet roll, con- however, took pity on us, and took us Tfidence in my ability to botch two miles in a cab filled with bouncing communications in a mixture of pidgin toddlers and Labradors, nearly causing Spanish and frantic hand gestures and a pile-up by dropping us off directly on an inexplicable urge to quit university a roundabout. We reached Portsmouth and become a truck driver. by nightfall, after being rescued by two This Easter, whilst many nestled in squaddies, who squashed us into the the nourishing cocoon of suburbia, a back of an Audi TT, and taking a sneaky motley crew from York joined students rail journey. At the ferry port, exhaust- mild ammonia poisoning from one from across the country in the hitch to ed, we met a bunch of fresh-faced York service station’s overzealous toilet Morocco. A journey of around 1600 students who had enjoyed a leisurely cleaners, resulting in a lot of stress, miles, crossing time zones and borders train ride from their southerly homes, mainly induced by Matthew’s insistence and smashing language barriers with a and were so excited to see how this that he couldn’t smell burning. And, mixture of big smiles and non-threaten- hitching lark would go. when the adventure was over and the ing movements, the goal was to raise Perhaps our first day’s experience holiday began, our first night in £300,000 for the charity Link had given us an edge, as we overtook Morocco was interrupted by a drunken them coming off the ferry and blagged a man getting into our hotel room at 1am. friendly lorry driver and a nine-hour He left when we started screaming like ‘One group walked hitch to Lyon. By early evening, Yves little girls and we departed too early to and I were best friends, and whilst ask the owner how it had happened. 10km in the dark. Matthew snoozed contentedly on the Other hitchers had similarly bunk, I learnt about his family mem- colourful experiences. One group from Another got in with bers, his taste in dubious French folk Leeds counted the police amongst their music and why he was voting Le Pen. hitches; another had walked 10km a coach of possibly- The next morning, the toll road cross-country in the dark. Our friends and a couple of lucky hitches took us Photos: Richard ing with HGVs. Unfortunately, our from Warwick had hitched a lift with a illegal immigrants’ south, and by 11am we were in Valence, Hackforth- extremely limited Spanish didn’t possibly-illegal coach load of Romanian fishing for that perfect lift to Spain. We Jones and Tom stretch to reading the ‘under construc- immigrants, whose driver listened to caught a white van man completely off tion’ sign next to the symbol for a hotel. non-stop accordion music and honked Community Development. With every guard as he hacked apart a baguette Gatehouse A frustrating issue which haunts the horn if any passengers fell asleep. participant raising at least £300, it is and a hunk of ham. The young the hitcher from an early stage is how to So, after 15 hitches, too much junk one of the biggest fundraising events in Spaniard, affectionately nicknamed get back onto the motorway. If you end food and not nearly enough showers, the country. And, although the glow of ‘Sandy’, as we were unable to pro- up, as we did, in a dodgy suburb with our holiday began. Our first night in charity work adds a sense of legitimacy, nounce his name, took us all the way to no main slip road, the sight of the Fes, a local took us out to a shisha bar any excuse for a holiday, right? Barcelona, combining breathtaking motorway speeding past a hundred where we spent the night in style for £1 Our journey began at the begin- speed with texting, eating and singing yards away is enough to induce tears of each. The next morning our guide took ning of the M1, where my hitch partner at the wheel. He dropped us off in a hysteria. Coupled with the disappear- us to a carpet cooperative where the trio Matthew and I tumbled from the safety prime location, a service station teem- ance of service stations in southern from Warwick were hassled into spend- of his Dad’s estate car, along with an Spain, and the fact that lorries don’t ing £400 on a small rug. assortment of backpacks and luminous move on a Sunday, this is notoriously Marrakech, too, was a great experi- outdoor clothing. There is much to be Follow their footsteps the most difficult part of the hitch. As ence. Although it is the main tourist said for fresh-faced enthusiasm and at the week wore on and the distance cov- centre (the shop keepers will assure you first we were relatively lucky, securing a ered in a day dwindled, we grew des- their goods are “Primark prices”), it is a lift to Nottingham within a few min- perate. A hitch from a Moroccan couple unique city, centring on the large Place utes. From there, we began to discover with a shattered windscreen and a col- Djema el Fnaa which comes alive at that hitchhiking is not as easy as just lection of incessant Arabic music left us night with open air food joints and sticking out your thumb. in a provincial maze of roadworks and a street performers. The best way to Any hitcher will tell you that it is a second hitch, hours later, got us into enjoy the sights without finding a snake journey of amazing highs and incredi- slightly hot water. The driver took us round your neck and a monkey on your ble lows, all of which are forgotten as back to his house and gave us his keys shoulder is to retire to a rooftop cafe soon as your next ride pulls up. Several whilst he parked, resulting in his keys and watch the world go by, sipping an hours spent cluttering up a grass verge dangling in the door and us shuffling addictive thé a la menthe and ordering in a service station becomes a pleasant off as fast as people carrying three stone the local specialty, tagine, a kind of lunch stop once you’re on the move on their backs could go. Round the cor- casserole served in a conical pot. again. Similarly, the last hitch, which ner in a cafe, we gave up on hitching to Unfortunately, Matthew and I only you pounced upon when it arrived, Algeciras and a sympathetic local drove left 12 days for the whole trip, which left becomes the worst lift ever if the driver us to the station. As we boarded the bus us short of time when we actually drops you off in the wrong place. in Malaga, a sheepish group from arrived in Morocco. However, despite We left Nottingham in a 60-foot Warwick appeared, escaping the hitch- the ups and downs of an inevitably dif- lorry headed for Poole, a five-hour jour- ing hellhole of Spain. As the bus filled ficult journey, we have both come away ney away. Upon arriving at an industri- up with hitchers, we began to realise with some great memories and, though al estate in the aptly named Blandford that we hadn’t done too badly after all. lacking a tan, I think it is one of the our fortunes suddenly changed. Hiking Everyone comes back with a few most worthwhile experiences university through deepest suburbia to the main stories to tell, and I managed to get has to offer. 08/05/07 Interview M7

age-old truism that it’s tough to remain “Viewers have got to be able to get who at the top. Ricky has recently enjoyed these stars are in five years’ time. I think starring roles in the hit movies Night at after 91 films, Samuel L. Jackson will be the Museum and For Your OK, and I reckon David Bowie is safe. I Ricky Gervais, Consideration and Stephen seems to be think people might just about know enjoying the higher profile afforded who he is next year.” him by his part as Darren Lamb, the Stephen is particularly pleased useless agent of Ricky’s character, actor about the magnitude of the stars he and Andy Millman. “I really enjoyed it, Ricky recruited for the second series of you big bully although I had to rely on Ricky to rein Extras. “The danger is that everyone is me in because my inclination is always so jaded about celebrity that they take to ham it up. I particularly love those these stars for granted. ‘Oh look, there’s moments where Darren bashes his leg Robert De Niro in a sitcom, so what?’ against the furniture - I think my two- Do they know how hard we had to work dimensional perfomances really make to get these people? I think they should Ince, Ricky has found himself a new that work.” buy two copies of the DVD as a sign that Ricky Gervais and Stephen “muse”. The recent release of Extras Series “For the Extras DVD we’ve done a Two on DVD has presented yet another Merchant are a dream variety of extra films. But my favourite opportunity for plaudits of the duo, “I wanted to paint is a programme about the different although the irony of having such ways in which I torment our editor, mainstream success through openly Karl’s head orange comic team. Toby Green Nigel Williams; he’s prepared to do criticising the kind of shows that nor- anything. In one sequence, I tie him to mally achieve Extras’ ratings is by no and put it in a fruit finds out how they get a machine. It’s like one of those experi- means lost on Ricky. “I’d rather make ments they used to try in institutions something that is the favourite show of bowl, but he during the 1950s before they got one million than the fifth favourite their kicks off-screen stopped on grounds of cruelty! I could- show of ten million. Anything artistic is wouldn’t do it” n’t even get away with that with Karl. about making a connection, and He’d say, ‘Alright, that’s enough.’ When Stephen and I have always tried to do they appreciate all our hard work!” I wanted to paint Karl’s head orange that. We make our programmes for Ricky and Stephen have not ruled Top: Ricky and f you’re wondering why Ricky and put it in a fruit bowl, he wouldn’t like-minded people. We also make out a further jaunt into the world of Stephen with Gervais seems so rejuvenated do it. But Nigel would be up for that.” them on our own terms and we are Extras. “We’re a bit intimidated by the recently, what with bathing in the His co-star and long-term writing never interfered with.” administrative headache of it, but Ricky Extras co-star Iafterglow of a successful second partner, Stephen Merchant, also seems Similarly, a factor in the show’s and I have recently been musing about Ashley Jensen series of Extras and selling out dates to take a certain pleasure in Ricky’s success is the frequent guest apper- the idea that there might still be enough within the hour for his new stand-up child-like tormenting. “During the first ances; yet, thanks to the self-reflexive life in Extras for a special,” says tour Fame, perhaps it’s because the series, Ricky tried to fashion costumes nature of the show, this is equally Stephen. “It feels slightly like unfin- Reading comic has found himself a new for him out of Sellotape. This series ridiculed. “If you just get someone for ished business.” victim. Ricky reached Blue Peter levels of the ‘ooo, look who it is’ factor, that dates Ricky agrees. “The Americans are After basing what has become the inventiveness with the costumes he very quickly,” Ricky observes. “We’re gagging for a third series. The cachet is world’s most successful podcast around made, doing things like locking him in asking people to play original charac- very high now, and it feels like we could “that round-headed freak” Karl a cage. At one point, Jonathan Ross ters around their personas or the oppo- get anyone we want. It would be a good Pilkington, and spending the whole of even joined in with the bullying.” site of their personas. It’s not just a case time to do another. We’ve got an idea his 2004 Politics stand-up tour perse- The duo’s good mood may also of dressing up for Comic Relief and for a special, but that would certainly be cuting his friend and support act, Robin have something to do with defying the thinking ‘it doesn’t really count’. the last of Extras.” M8 Feature 08/05/07 A case of Krishna consciousness

As Anjli Raval begins to questions her faith, she finds herself at Bhaktivedanta Manor, discovering her spiritual side through the ancient teachings of Hare Krishna

describe ‘Sanatana-Dharma’, the Das had been a devotee for 14 years, eternal and natural inclination of and although he currently resides at the mankind towards spiritual activi- Manor, his upcoming marriage to ty. The two main sections of The another devotee will mean he Vedas, the Bhagavad-Gita has to move to a house outside and the Srimad- to carry on his devotional work. Bhagavatam, form the The most devoted Hare foundation of the Krishna followers live at the Hare Krishna Manor. Male monks must philoso- shave their heads leaving phy. a central patch of hair called a ‘sikha’, and

Despite Hare Krishna’s amaste.” I said association with tentatively to the mainstream Hindu tall, white-robed man philosophy, ISKCON “Nwho had been sent to do not describe them- greet me and who knew more about selves as being affiliated sole- my religion than my entire family put ly to this one faith. together. Being brought up as a Hindu The priest offered food, water, has meant that religion has always incense, an oil lamp and even flowers to played an inescapable part in my life, wear saffron- the deities. The Hare Krishnas put and the fact that my grandparents live coloured robes emphasis on ‘bhakti’, which is yoga and with me has meant that certain tradi- called ‘dhotis’ to sig- meditation through the repetition of tions and customs from generations nify celibacy. Married the infamous Hare Krishna chant. ago have been practised year after year monks, or those to Whilst I was admittedly hesitant to join unquestioned. It was only recently, be married, wear them by closing my eyes and waving however, that I started to question my white robes, whilst my arms about, the aura in the room faith and examine my religion, with its The Manor, donated in female devotees was astounding; I felt like I was in a various sects and affiliations, a little 1973 by The Beatles’ George wear simple, tradi- trance. closer. Harrison, is not simply a retreat for tional saris. All monks I think what appeals to people the This is what led me to those wanting to get away from the take an oath wherein most is that the Hare Krishna move- Bhaktivedanta Manor in stresses of daily life; it is also a theolog- they vow to abandon ment is about spirituality rather than Hertfordshire, the UK headquarters of ical college with a school for the chil- mind-altering sub- religion; it’s about your own personal The International Society for Krishna dren of its followers. I met three girls stances such as cigarettes, alcohol and connection with God. Kripamoya Das, Consciousness (ISKCON), more com- who were students at the Gurukul (the drugs, reject activities like gambling, another priest at the temple, said: “Real monly known as the Hare Krishna school) - Narayani Koyle, 15, Shari and follow a peaceful vegetarian diet. religion is the esoteric practises – the movement. I expected tambourine- Illicit sex is prohibited, and sexual mystical realisations – that permeate banging, arm-waving, enthusiastic activity for married couples is solely for and sustain any spiritual tradition, not groups of people chanting the fairly ‘I had expected a sea of brown procreation. their external forms and terminolo- well-known chant of "Hare Krishna, I was invited to attend the gies”. Hare Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Hare, faces, but there was a variety of 12.30pm ‘aarti’, an opportunity for the For me, the appeal of the Hare Hare”, so I was pleasantly surprised to public to come and worship the deities Krishna movement lies in the fact that be greeted warmly by a priest called nationalities and backgrounds, of Krishna. As the room slowly began to the philosophy is accessible and under- Radha Mohan Das. All holy men in fill up with people, I realised how unbe- standable (it’s in English, at least). this sect receive a Sanskrit name (one all worshipping together’ lievably ignorant I had been. I had Although I won’t be giving up booze of the many names of God) plus the expected a sea of brown faces, but there and hair-straighteners any time soon, I suffix ‘Das’ (‘Dasi’ for women) which Macnamara, 17, and Nadia Mani, 19 - was a variety of nationalities and back- do feel I’m one step closer to getting means ‘servant of’. Incidentally, ‘Hare’’ and asked them what life was like grounds, all worshipping together. some answers. addresses the energy of God, and growing up within the confines of the ‘Krishna’ means ‘all attractive’, a refer- temple. All three agreed that although A spiritual brand? Hare Krishna in popular culture ence to one of the many Hindu Gods. they live relatively sheltered lives, the The Hare Krishna movement Theft Auto. Its rise in promi- mantra in songs by the Beatles, This is how Hare Krishna differs opportunities they have to meet new has begun to penetrate popular nence in the UK has clearly Boy George, Stevie Wonder from the mainstream polytheistic people and travel the world were sec- culture, as evidenced by been helped by celebrity and Tenacious D have helped Hindu religion, as it teaches that ond to none and they would never con- Russell Brand’s “Hare Krishna” endorsements (like that of to boost the practitioners’ pro- Krishna alone is the Supreme Being. sider changing their lifestyle. sign off at the end of every Brand, a regular at file. Today, aspects of the Hare Krishna Consciousness propagates the ISKCON itself has two divisions: episode of Big Brother’s Big Bhaktivedanta Manor whose Krishna lifestyle, such as yoga, teachings of ancient scriptures known an order of monks and priests who live Mouth, and the devotees’ ‘faith’ reportedly helped him meditation and vegetarianism, as ‘The Vedas’, which were written in at the temple (who number 35) and appearances as pedestrians in ditch heroin), and the inclu- have been incorporated into Sanskrit in about 3000 BC. The Vedas those that live offsite. Radha Mohan videogames such as Grand sion of the Hare Krishna the mainstream. 08/05/07 Feature M9 Given the chop: goodbye, Campus Ken

He’s seen the mullet, buzz-cut and ‘shag’ but after a career cutting the student barnet Ken’s moving on. Jamie Merrill meets a York legend

fter 23 years of tending to the Vanburgh for 50p, and Rory Bremner locks of both staff and stu- and Lenny Henry played Central Hall. dents, Ken Fairburn - or “Back in the 80s bands and comedians ACampus Ken as he is affection- were happy to come and play to stu- ately known - is due to ‘retire’ at the end dents to practise their new material. of July. Since arriving on campus in You won’t get big names back here 1984, Ken has become a bit of a unless the Students’ Union get a venue University institution, so much so that on the new campus.” one senior University official described As with most hairdressers, Ken’s him as part of the “fixtures and fittings”. good for a chat whilst he trims away. He This isn’t surprising considering Ken seems to have taken the role of agony has been here longer than most stu- uncle; he even had a column in Your: dents have been alive. Mag for a few years dealing with the Sitting down with Ken in Derwent troubled love lives of York students. bar over a pint of Tetley’s bitter, I He’s not just good for a joke, though; he realised how much Ken is valued by has really helped some people out over York’s community. He seemed to know the years. Andy Hunt, who now lec- most of the staff wandering by and a fair tures in Electronics and first went to few of the students. Ken’s room in Ken as a student in the 80s, said, “for Langwith is a testament to his popular- years he has offered more than a short- ity; postcards from students and staff ening of the hair, he's been an unofficial from around the world cover the walls. counselling service and an amazing Adding to this is Ken’s spoof honorary human 'directory' of contacts within degree in ‘follicle engineering’ and a the University.” In fact, Andy says Ken’s photo of Ken and his wife representing knowledge of York academics has led to the University at the Queen’s one of his most interesting research Millennium garden party. collaborations. A campus legend he might be, but Ken recollects when the lake used he also knows pretty much everything to freeze solid in winter. Back then, stu- there is to know on the University dents used to ice skate or cycle across grapevine. This is likely to stem from the lake near Derwent and one year an the fact he still cuts the hair of the old adventurous first year parked his vice chancellor as well as numerous Triumph Herald on the frozen lake. In heads of departments, provosts, and fact, the driver was a customer of Ken’s senior academics. It’s not just his razor and is now head of HSBC on sharp blades and hair cutting creden- Parliament Street. Ken laments the fact tials that keep me coming back for a 2 that student pranks seem rarer now, on top and a 1 on the side; he has always saying the head of security, Ken Batten, kept me up to date with all the campus would “jump on them, he’s just so wor- Ken shares a to the current lot; I don’t know Brian just want to say thank you to the people news. For a student hack, such a regular ried about health and safety. Things laugh with a Cantor, he might be a great guy, but who have supported me over the years. story source can be a blessing. have really changed.” soon-to-be we’re not going to find out”. Cutting hair is the only way I could get Back in 1984, Ken moved into the The University changing is a Ken views the recent porters crisis to university, I appreciate that and I’m a dressing rooms of Central Hall from his theme Ken and I return to whenever he satisfied client. as a sad sign of how the University has more educated person now than I was town centre salon and brought haircuts is coiffing my hair. Despite some great Photo: Georgi changed. “Everybody helps produce when I came because of all the people to campus. “This goes back to when academics and staff, Ken thinks the Mabee our product; the cleaner, the porters... of other faiths and nationalities who Geldof got all the groups banned” says University is not always changing for How many young people in the first have come in and educated me”. Ken Ken, “they told him not to get everyone few weeks of term have porters man- added, “we’ve had a good gossip and up dancing but of course he did and we aged to persuade to not go home sorted out the world’s problems”. haven’t had any good groups back there ‘Ken even had a column in because they were home sick? You can’t “It’s just sad for me to go though,” since”. Just as promptly as Geldof was put that on their job description.” says Ken. “I’ve just got this awful feeling chucked out of Central Hall, Ken was Your:Mag for a few years Ken has a slight personal gripe of coming in and taking down all my moved onto what was the Vanburgh against some of the University man- few hundreds postcards from students sick room, before the days of the med- dealing with the troubles love agers. For six years he has been fighting around the world, putting them in a ical centre. a battle with them not to be moved into box and handing in my key. It’s going to Ken moved into his current lives of York students’ Market Square. “I told them that I’d be a really sad day for me.” Langwith room in 1990, in time to see rather stay where I am, but they want Perhaps though, if some senior Jools Holland play the forerunner to the better. “All the good administrators me in Market Square paying £17,000 a University manager is reading this, the Big D, the Derwent BBQ. An event so and bursars who founded the year rent plus rates and £30,000 to fit University could allow Ken to stay a few popular, says Ken, that students regu- University retired at the same time and it out”. In 2001, after Ken refused to more years in the room he’s occupied larly swam the lake James Bond style to all the new generation of management budge and staff, students and Nouse since 1990. “In an ideal world, it would get in. “The security used to let them in came in at once. The problem is they ran a campaign to ‘Save Campus Ken’, be nice if I could stay on and then try to for making such an effort.” are trying to run the University as a the University backed down and gave get somebody else to take over in a few Ken reminds me that campus used business, but they’re not very good at him five more years. But after a one- years time. There is obviously a market to attract big names. He seems scornful business.” Even worse, Ken complains, year extension, Ken’s tenancy ends this for it.” of the lack of quality acts on campus “they don’t integrate. Ron Cooke, the July with no sign that the University is For you, Ken, I hope that some- today; when he first came to campus, old Vice Chancellor, used to eat with be willing to extend it. body in Heslington Halls takes notice. Paul McCartney and The Wings played the students all the time. No disrespect Ken’s not complaining though: “I Otherwise, goodbye Ken and thanks. M10 Feature Feature M11 Leeds or Glasto, V or T? Pick one, then get your wellies on

Glastonbury might be the festival of the summer, but it Festival etiquette: what you should expect With becoming a hardened festival-goer, you might certainly isn’t the only one. Some cheaper events have observe certain behaviour and characteristics which come equally competitive line-ups, as Sam Noble discovers with your wristband. The first is an increased alcohol intake and lack of sleep, as more alcohol requires more hours in the day to drink it in, obviously. When shouting “bollocks” won’t do, you may also notice the previous year’s pop culture here is something decidedly GLASTONBURY June 22-24 awareness for the charities WaterAid, referenced in one short, con- English about music festivals, I was 15 years old when I first went to a Greenpeace and Oxfam. Most of the cise and shoutable phrase; for events which allow us simulta- proper festival, diving straight into the great work has been done by head fes- example, “Do do do do do” Tneously to celebrate the sum- deep end. Glastonbury. It is the behe- tival organiser and farmer Michael (you remember that Japanese mer sunshine and indulge our whims moth, the Godfather, the holy grail of Eavis who, since 1971, has cultivated rockabilly girl group in Kill for wellies and colourful headgear. Or, all festivals. To all those who think oth- the best atmosphere one is likely to Bill, right?), “Gay Bar”, “Hi I’m more likely, to drink obscene amounts erwise, I simply ask: have you ever ever experience. Allowing the commu- Ed Winchester”, “Devo Mate” whilst having the time of our lives. been? I can say without hesitation that nity of travellers and hippies to erect and many others. When you At festivals, thousands of people it is the best festival I have been to. As their wigwams and face-painting tents ask all your friends around the well I’ll stop now, shall I? I’m a week (for anyone who knows gather to celebrate, well, just about one of the festival organisers, Thomas gives the festival the communal love-in CHELMSFORD AND a much better time can be had else dinner table this evening, you retching from the memories. It what Pilton Smeg is, I got it) anything: the music, the friends, the Crimble, says: “I’ve experienced more vibe and spiritual aegis that makes STAFFORDSHIRE V FESTIVAL where. will realise you were all at that is all part of the festival experi- and my proudest achievement sunshine, the sex, the drinking and all in a few weeks at Glastonbury than Glastonbury such an enchanting place August 18-19 festival that year and saw that ence, but one my body doesn’t was sneaking backstage at End of them combined (preferably at once). some people have in the whole of their to be. Dave Grohl said at Reading in 2005 OFF THE BEATEN TRACK band play x, y and z and so allow me to partake in. Neither Of The Road festival. Traipsing And if things like the weather, mud or life.” that “Glastonbury is for the smelly hip- I couldn’t possibly mention all the big forth. will I ever wear a stupid hat; through a few bushes, I allayed incessant queuing get bad, we can rely Festivals have the effect of READING AND LEEDS CARLING pies, Reading is for the dirty rockers festivals occurring this summer, let The next, with which I am as much as I find it utterly the security guards’ fears by on the Dunkirk spirit to rally us catalysing hedonistic behaviour, and WEEKEND August 24-26 and V Festival is for posh people.” I alone the growing amount of smaller, thankfully blessed, is constipa- hilarious, I do not see it to be merely saying, like a groupie: together and bring out the best in each when I arrived at the tender age of 15, I I am in two minds about Reading and would take Glasto’s distinctive ‘60s indie festivals that are getting unusual tion. Festival toilets are dis- such a necessity as half of a “I’m with the band.” From then other. was awe-struck at the scale of the festi- Leeds festival. While it consistently odour over the soulless non-event that - although no less fantastic - line-ups in gusting and there is no readily- campsite does. on I watched Brakes, British Most importantly, however, it’s val. It overruns Somerset’s village of manages to get incredible rock acts - is V Festival any day. An irate festival- beautiful locations all around the coun- available alternative to the I always maintain that a Sea Power and Badly Drawn about the music. The sheer volume of Pilton like a holy war crusade, with past alumni include Nirvana, Pixies, goer described V rather accurately: “No try. The Green Man festival, held in the constantly in-use shacks above festival should be a place Boy from the comfort of the festivals held in Britain every year, flags, tents and intrepid campers eager- and Rage Against The Machine - the noise, stalls, campfires or general fun in Brecon Beacons, has former Led a mound of tissue, piss and where you try something you side of the stage. I must admit many of which are internationally ly awaiting excitement and danger. So Carling Weekend embodies the bloated the camping area. Full of utter posers... Zeppelin singer Robert Plant headlin- shit. And if it is a hot, sticky never have before. I have eaten that I was very, very drunk at renowned, attests to the diversity and many groundbreaking performances corporate mechanism which turns a girls in four-inch heels in six inches of ing as well as the incredible Joanna day and the wind is right… ostrich burgers, not washed for the time. huge amount of music Brits both pro- have occurred here, making it the cul- perfect summer weekend into a high- mud. Heavy-handed security that will Newsom and a whole host of folk, duce and enjoy: Glastonbury, Reading tural highlight of the year. David priced showcase of indifferent but well- confiscate liquids (alcoholic or not) country and dance acts. All Tomorrow’s and Leeds, V Festival, T in the Park, Bowie, Johnny Cash, REM, Paul paid bands, and phone and beer slo- that have been brought in from the Parties vs the Fans is an innovative fes- July. Not only is it cheaper and longer It isn’t difficult to see why festivals Gatecrasher and Isle of Wight to name McCartney, The White Stripes, gans. campsite to the arena thus forcing you tival held in a Butlins Holiday resort in than most British festivals (£107 for are so bloody brilliant. What with the but a few. Not to mention the hun- Radiohead and - ahem - Rolf Harris When I went to Reading, the to spend £3 on a bottle of coke... Virgin Minehead in May. Nowhere else can four days!), it plays host to Muse, combination of friends, drink, good dreds of smaller festivals offering a have all played seminal performances sound quality of the PA was poor, the Clockwise from together. of course. The most unhelpful, unen- you enjoy such a pleasing list of bands Arctic Monkeys, The Stooges, Bright weather, great music and thousands of diverse range of music and atmosphere above the hallowed ley lines, giving food prices were extortionate and the top left: The My lasting memory of Reading is thusiastic staff. Please, please don't such as Mogwai, Explosions In The Sky, Eyes and The B-52’s. Love Shack in like-minded neighbours bringing out throughout the summer. Festival sea- Glastonbury a spiritual quality perfect atmosphere was tense and negative. Killers will be of the Sunday when the last acts had waste your money on this ‘festival’.” I’ve Do Make Say Think, Patti Smith and the best in everyone, it will always be a son is now a five-month season start- for a musical mirabilis. I’ve had a great time there and had an headlining this finished and thousands of people pro- never been to V for these reasons and, Modest Mouse with the added comfort recipe for success; providing beer com- ing as early as March and ending reluc- This year The Who, Arctic awful time there, all a part of the stoic ceeded to tear the campsite apart. It from what dissatisfied friends tell me, I of your own chalet. A personal “I’ve experienced more in a few panies and the Mean Fiddler don’t tantly in September and, thanks to Monkeys, The Killers, Arcade Fire and collection of festival experiences I’ve year’s had apocalyptic overtones with the sky shouldn’t bother. favourite of mine is the newly estab- stick their unwanted oars in too much. global warming, all the festivals should Björk are set to stoke the fires of musi- accrued. I have been abused for walk- Glastonbury; a hazy red from the burst of flames as I know I shouldn’t use column lished End Of The Road festival, held weeks at Glastonbury than So whatever your musical inclinations, now come with the added feature of cal genius. However, considering all ing away when Iron Maiden came on crowds await tents, barbeques, chairs, dustbins and space to mouth off but V, Reading and in plush botanical gardens in Dorset in if musically inclined at all, there are a being enjoyed in unremitting sun- 150,000 tickets sold out in one hour stage, a friend was beaten up for having their favourite even ice-cream vans were all set alight. some of the other big festivals seem to September. Super Furry Animals, some people have in their life... whole host of festivals to tickle your shine. and 45 minutes at £145 a ticket, you emo hair, and another friend of mine musical A group of shaggy, long-haired met- be just for promoters to wheel bands Seasick Steve and Howe Gelb are fancy this summer. Inevitably, the cost It is a difficult decision choosing either already have a ticket and know was very nearly raped there. I suppose allers who wouldn’t look amiss in the on and off as quickly as possible in already confirmed, with loads of acts to It really - really - is that good” of most festivals is going to put many which festival to go to; the plethora of the line-up, or else I’m just rubbing salt the Carling Weekend brings out the spectacle; get- Jorvik centre careened from campsite order to make maximum profit in a be announced. For a cheap, small-scale people off. However, there are great choice can be stifling, and I would love into the wounds of people who (like rock devil in all of us, allowing normal- ting wet on the to campsite, searching for an ‘emo’ to quick, faceless weekend. The Mean festival with a great atmosphere, it is Spain anyone? Cheap flights mean that opportunities to work with Oxfam, to recommend all of them. A friend me) couldn’t get one. It really is that ly quiet teenagers and young adults Isle of Wight beat up - my friend wisely put on a hat. Fiddler is, in fact, very mean. If you the best place to go before returning to if you book early you can make Exit stewarding or working in beer tents, and I did seriously consider attempting good. who should know better to run riot in a A guy even got one of his testicles want to see the Radio One playlist live uni. festival in Serbia, Roskilde in Denmark which are surprisingly easy jobs to get - the feat of going to all of them but Glastonbury holds a unique repu- shambling mess of drunkenness and torched off by the infamous ‘flame then Foo Fighters, Snow Patrol and There are a whole host of festivals or Wacken in Germany (only for the and come with the added bonus of a worked out that we’d be lumbered with tation by providing an event which dis- sleep deprivation. I know I won’t make balls’. The Kooks are just some of the bands abroad which have established great serious metaller). South By South free festival. Visit www.oxfam.org.uk a £10,000 debt before we’d even made regards corporate cash yet maintains myself popular by slagging off Reading Dismounting from my high horse, unenthusiastically rocking in reputations and excellent line-ups, West, Coachella (Rage Against The for stewarding opportunities and it to the European festivals. So picking an excellent standard, overcoming all and Leeds, but to me it doesn’t embody I concede that the line up this year Chelmsford and Staffordshire. partly because they are the only major Machine have reformed for a one-and- vacancies. the right festival is key to making sum- its security and council-related prob- what a festival is: a group of people cel- does look fantastic with Red Hot Chili Festivals like T in the Park and rock festival in their country, and are only performance here) or Bonaroo in It is also worth checking the exhaust- mer 2007 the best one yet. lems year after year, as well as raising ebrating Peppers, Razorlight, The Smashing Glastonbury seem to be the last bastion essentials for bands on the festival cir- the States are serious festival consider- ingly detailed www.efestivals.com to Pumpkins and - the greatest of them for atmosphere amongst the large cuit. Take, for example, Festival ations. The list is fruitful, nearly find out prices, dates, line-ups, news, all - Biffy Clyro, taking to the stage. major festivals. Of course, you can have Internacional de endless and littered with directions and everything else festival- a good time at these ‘festivals’, but Benicassim at the end of fantastic artists. orientated. Have a fantastic, enriching and safe summer and remember: always wear sunscreen. Summer Term Week Three Tuesday May 8 07 www.nouse.co.uk ROSES 2007 Estd 1964 NOUSE YORK 143 - 103 LANCASTER FOOTBALL

All the reports and pictures from a mixed weekend on the football pitch for York

>> Centre spread THE LOSERS An inside view of how the other side saw the weekend in which they lost the Roses

>> Page 11 ROSES 2007 PODCAST Special IT’S BACK edition, IT’S BACK ready to download with full YORK REGAIN THE CARTER-JAMES TROPHY analysis and interviews

>> www.NOUSE.co.uk INSIDE 12 pages of full coverage and match reports Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 ROSES2007 York 143 York victorious after

By Daniel Whitehead Lancaster 103 SPORTS EDITOR

mental lead into the week- AFTER OVER 1000 hours of sport over THEWEEKEND end, and one that would four days in 107 different events, the prove to be too great for University of York triumphed over their Lancaster to fully come to Lancaster rivals to re-claim the Carter- terms with. James trophy by an emphatic 40-point Despite expecting victo- victory. rious performances in the The weekend followed a pattern field events such as Hockey similar to that of recent years, with the and Football and the Rowing home team leading convincingly By Daniel Whitehead Regatta, Rugby was the only throughout. York took an early lead in SPORTS EDITOR sport that truly proved fruit- the Equestrian on Thursday and from ful for the Lancastrians as that point on were ahead in the scoring ROSES IS the one event of they tried wilfully to fight throughout. The hosts rarely looked the University calendar back the tide of points. pressurised in their pursuit of victory, where the whole of campus A mid-Saturday fight with a short blip on Saturday afternoon unite to cheer on their side. back provided brief hope for being the only moment when the result As the largest inter-university the away team, but York looked in question. ment and provided York with a mon- competition in the country, seemed to have too much Although such a comfortable score- umental 30-point lead at the end of covering 107 sporting fixtures confidence and ability in the line looked unlikely at the beginning of the first day. within a 4 day period, Roses majority of the sports for Sunday, and was probably slightly unfair Day two proved to be a much has a special ability of creat- Lancaster's dogged determi- on the visitors, it was made attainable by tighter contest, and the most frantic. ing a sense of pride in a nation and boisterous crowds an inspirational performance from York An early start saw fixtures in the University that we all inhabit. to cope with, meaning the tie throughout. Canoeing, Trampolining and Hockey To be victorious as well was never in doubt. On Friday, York was faced with being split between the teams. as proud is quite an experi- An obvious cause for the potentially close encounters across the AU President Tom Moore led his ence, and the performances lower levels of performances board, but the home team seemed in no side to victory in the Indoor Football offered by the Squash, by the Lancastrians may be mood to take prisoners as they laid siege Men's 2nds with a domineering hat- Badminton and Women's due to their sleeping and liv- to Lancaster on several fronts including trick. A nervous afternoon lay ahead Rowing teams were nothing ing conditions, but that's the Cricket, Badminton and Skiing. for the home team however as short of sensational. obviously the price you pay as However, the most resounding vic- Lancaster produced a string of excel- However, for some this week the away side, and something tory of the day came from the Squash lent performances in the Tennis, there will be a feeling of which Lancaster should per- Club who won in the Women's, Men's Ballroom Dancing, and Table Tennis. emptiness and disappoint- haps cope with better than and Mixed 1sts in straight sets, 5-0, 5-0, This was followed by a cata- ment at a performance that they have in recent times. 5-0, embarrassing their Lancaster coun- strophic performance by the York never really got started. Yet, despite the one- terparts. Elsewhere York were finding Women's 1sts in the Rugby Union as that pivotal moment, York clawed Despite Lancaster AU sided nature of the weekend other fixtures similarly comfortable, as they were defeated by 47 points to nil. their lead back and found themselves President Dave Greenshields there were numerous inspir- they dominated the Badminton tourna- Suddenly the Lancastrian crowd were 20 points ahead at the end of the sec- promising to bring the ing performances from either ment with the Mixed team winning 8-1, spurred on by their teams' perform- ond-day, requiring less than 30 points Carter-James trophy back side and we have provided inspired by the performances of Jonty ances, and you could sense the nerves to reclaim the Carter-James trophy. from York and across the in-depth coverage of the Hiley, and Sarah Myers. across campus as news filtered Entering the final day as the border for the first time since weekend's highlights. The Rugby Seven's tournament through that Lancaster had closed the underdogs, Lancaster went into the 1985, the prediction never Content ranges from the con- proved to be the only blip on an other- gap to a meagre point. early-morning rowing regatta requir- looked like becoming true, as ventional sports of cricket, wise perfect day, as Lancaster's powerful The comeback was not to last ing a big victory. A promising start Lancaster failed to lead at football and rugby to the backlines and skilful attack proved too though, as York recovered wilfully from the away team Men's Fours lead any stage in the competition. more unique events such as much for the York teams. However, end with an important victory in an excit- to a short period of anxiety, but class A brilliant first day from archery and equestrian. We of day victories in the Swimming and ing and tense hockey Men's 1sts game, prevailed as the Women's rowing York saw them take a monu- hope you enjoy it. Cricket overshadowed the disappoint- won eventually by York 2-0. From team provided a sterling perform- TomMoore DaveGreenshields

e won! Months of a laid back person but the The squash, swim- oses truly is a fantastic into the final day I genuine- the controversy that has early mornings, late last three days have been ming, basketball, women's event. A total of 107 ly believed we might be in surrounded the club over Wnights, ruined the most stressful of my life. rowing, sailing, pool and Rfixtures took place over with a sniff, but we needed the past few years, we've degrees and preparation I have hardly slept and am cricket clubs should all be four days ranging from eques- everything to go our way seen the re-generation of a meant we came in easy win- exhausted, but I can honest- very proud of their perform- trian, to skiing, and rowing to today and it didn't. The team that was in a bad ners, not that it felt that way. ly say I have never been this ances due to their domina- rugby. Regatta on Sunday morning place. Thursday and Friday thrilled. For some, Roses is tion of all their fixtures. I've had a great weekend, didn't go as well as I had From a sporting per- were fantastic days that saw something that comes and I must say a big thanks and obviously it's a shame the hoped, and if we had won I spective, I feel the defining Lancaster completely shell- goes without being thought to Katie, Sam and Nigel and trophy went in the wrong think we would have been moment came in the first shocked with our perform- of, but over the last few days all of the AU exec who, direction, but Tom Moore in with a really good chance over of the Men's cricket ance. Saturday was less I have come to realise just without their help, this and his team deserve credit of retaining the trophy. But 1sts on Saturday when we emphatic and saw them slow- how much it means to so weekend simply would not and we've got to be proud of it was not to be and even lost two wickets in the first ly scrambling back. It was all many people. have happened. Also to Gill, our competitors. After though the rowing boys did over. That was a bad over left to play for by Sunday but I have never been so Adele and Jill who have Friday's performance I think fantastically well, we need- for the rest of the weekend, we continued to increase our proud of every single one of been willing to help me in it was always going to be diffi- ed a 20-0 to hold any however I'm not in a place lead until the winning target our competitors, and in my every way I could wish. cult to recover, and perhaps it chance of victory. to say who performed badly. of 124 was reached, some- mind every single competi- Good luck to Jo for could be said that we lost it on Reflecting on the Finally, I'd like to thing that never looked tor showed a determination next year when hopefully we the first day. weekend as a whole, my thank Tom Moore, my stew- beyond doubt after the and a resolve that you can get a coveted away win. However, you've got to personal defining moment arding team and the com- Women's rowing results. should be tremendously And did I mention; we believe you can win or there's of the weekend was the petitors for a brilliant and I like to think I am quite proud of. won! no point in any of this. Going Men's Rugby 1sts. Despite memorable weekend. NOUSE : THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 3 ROSES2007 great weekend of performances The key moments:

How the weekend of action developed on Nouse’s online commentary

Friday - 7:00pm York are running away with the Carter-James tro- phy at the moment. York are on top 43.5-13.5 - that’s a 30 point lead and way above the 20 points that Lancaster President Dave Greenshields appar- ently planned for.

Saturday - 3:00pm It’s bad news, I’m afraid: the Rugby Union Women’s 1sts are losing heavily in the second half of the game by 32 to nil. Apparently the Lancaster contingent aren’t suffering as heavily as might be expected from last night’s highly vocal drunken excesses.

Saturday - 4:00pm The signs of strain are beginning to show on the familiar if now somewhat haggard countenance of our beloved AU Pres, Tom Moore. It seems he hasn’t been keeping track of the score, and visibly paled when informed of Lancaster’s sudden surge.

Saturday - 5:55pm Sights we’ve seen today include old SU Pres Micky Armstrong taking a break from Tesco’s, current SU Pres Rich Croker riding a girl’s bike and a naked Lancasterian by the rugby pitch that looked like a Clockwise from above: Various York players hold aloft the trophy; the York Rugby Men’s 1sts get clapped off after peroxide blonde baby. their defeat; an unwitting spectator about to be surprised. Photos: Georgi Mabee and Ally Carmichael Sunday - 1:10pm ance, winning all of their races and all declared the victory as a “convincing” one concluded with a special tribute to a The first big game of the day is underway, and it’s but confirming York's 11th consecutive and a “very proud moment” for himself. beleaguered Rugby team who conceded pretty even. Two tries for York Men’s 1sts mean York victory as the home team. Things went He added: “Ever since I got the position the most points of any club to the oppo- from bad to worse for Lancaster as they [of President] a year ago this has been sition. “I'm very impressed by the rugby had a 12-0 lead. Also, the rowing has finished in a tie. were heavily defeated in the Archery and one of my main aims.” Talking about the guys, even though they didn't get too Amazingly all the York men lost, whilst all the York lost surprisingly to a sprightly football weekend as a whole he said: “A lot of the many points I'm proud of them. They women won. The lead’s down to 24… Men's 2nds 1-0. fixtures were awfully close but if we'd deserved a lot better than what they got”. Unfortunately the edge was taken carried our form from Friday into the Lancaster AU President Dave Sunday - 3:03pm off a second day of powerful displays by two following days we could have been Greenshields was in a sombre mood It is safe to say that York have won the 2007 Roses defeats in the Rugby Union and Football 80, or even 100 points in front.” afterwards stating he was “proud” of his competition. Congratulations to all the contestants: Men's 1sts, but it was not to ruin the York He singled out the Squash Club for team despite an eventual heavy defeat you deserve it after all the training and preparation party, and by mid-afternoon they were providing the most impressive perform- and agreed that the Rowing Regatta that went into Roses this year. Thanks must also go confirmed victors of Roses 2007. ance of the weekend and added that he proved the “turning point” in the week- to the organisers, whose co-ordination and dedica- Speaking after the presentation cer- thought the pivotal performance came in end, adding “I think we lost this on emony, York AU President Tom Moore the Rowing Regatta on Sunday. Moore Friday to be honest”. tion has been indispensable. We really are the best. York Game of the Race to the finish: Player of the Tournament weekend York Tom Hudson - the first year 124 pts cricketer was inspirational in his performances over the weekend. His opening knock of 90 runs provided a great foun- dation for the comfortable vic- tory that followed. Lancaster Lancaster

Player of the Tournament Men’s 1sts Hockey - York’s team faced a James Hopkins - the Men’s 1sts Lancaster team a league above them in football centre-back was a rock the BUSA rankings and emerged tri- at the heart of Lancaster’s hard- umphant. A series of powerful attacks fought1-0 victory. He was at the from midfield opened a stunning per- heart of all of Lancaster’s play formance under intense pressure, tak- and scored the winning goal ing York to a thrilling 2-0 victory that with a glancing header. changed the course of the Roses. Sponsored by NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER 4 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 ROSES2007 Batsmen drive on for simple victory

CRICKET Hudson to a well-con- Butterfield was bowled on York Men’s 1sts XI trolled 50. the last ball of the innings 279 all out Belk himself survived to set a target of 280 for LancasterMen’s 1sts XI a couple of strong LBW victory. 144 all out appeals and a dropped Lancaster started catch before playing an all their innings confidently, By Dave Coates round slower delivery but the visitors’ spirits SPORTSCORRESPONDENT from Lancaster captain were badly dented as Mike Stephens, going for York’s opening bowlers, IN A GAME that began 32. Andy Exley and Jamie with much promise, but Hudson and Portlock Vanner, reduced the oppo- ended as a contest, after made a stand of 67 for the sition to 2-2 after just eight deliveries of the third wicket, but in the eight balls. Lancaster innings, York space of 10 balls they were Whiteman and Men’s 1st XI came out the both dismissed. After Gledhill were dismissed clear victors. Portlock was stumped for 30 and 40 runs respec- York elected to bat on mistiming a big heave, tively after a slow but a strip that looked flat and Hudson ended a terrific steady partnership, and slow, and the opening pair innings of 90 with a weak restrictive bowling and of Tom Hudson and Nick chip to mid-wicket in the top-class fielding kept the Vanner pressed home 40th over. visitors to 86-4 at the their advantage, racing to The lower order con- drinks break. 54-0. This forced tributed its fair share to By the time Lancaster to drop their the total, with Dave Foster Lancaster was bowled out opening bowlers in favour making 17, captain Jamie for 144, the game had of a more conservative Varner 15, and cameo been over for a long time. pair. innings of 11 each for Nick The performance proved While York contin- Townson and wicketkeep- an impressive display and Photo: ued much as they had er Tom Henry. provided vital points for Georgi started, the slow left arm Tail-ender Anthony York’s Roses quest. Mabee of Alex Gledhill and the accurate pace bowling of Scorecard Luke Stockhill stanched York Men’s 1st XI 279 - 10 York OMRW 1 the flow of runs. Lancaster Men’s 1st XI 144 - 10 J. Vanner 6 2 13 York Lancaster A. Butterfield 5 2 30 1 The increased pres- 0 T. Hudson 90 V. Gryal 2 N. Townson 5 5 19 sure soon told, as Vanner, 1 N. Vanner 57 M. Stephens 1 T. Hudson 10 3 30 after batting superbly to 2 M. Belk 30 D. Whiteman 30 I. Smith 7 0 28 his half-century, played 1 B. Portlock 32 A. Gledhill 40 M. Belk 3 1 7 late to a yorker-length A. Exley 7.2 2 15 1 delivery from Stockhill. A. Exley 1 L. Stockhill 27 Lancaster This ended an excellent D. Foster 17 A. Long 5 J. Vanner 15 L. Brooke 1 N. Thompson 9 0 3 knock on 57 and the open- 48 N. Townson 11 N. Thompson 22* B. Thorne 4 0 32 0 ing partnership accounted T. Henry 11 R. Child 9 A. Gledhill 10 2 29 0 for 102 runs. A. Butterfield 2 B. Thorne 0 L. Stockhill 10 0 54 4 Left-hander Matt I. Smith 1* N. Gest hurt N. Gest 0.1 0 1 0 Belk soon had the scoring Extras: 7 Extras: 7 M. Stephens 6.5 0 51 1 back on track, and by the Total: 279 Total: 144 R. Child 10 0 52 2 24th over had supported Early cricket success for York Opening partnership CRICKET lapse in York’s fielding York Men’s 2nds effort to increase the run sets up Firsts’victory 272 all out rate. York’s fielder Nick ANALYSIS 102 before Vanner was beaten by LancasterMen’s 2nds Hassey was on the receiv- a Yorker in a delivery not too far 235 all out By Criss Noice ing end of some sledging DEPUTYSPORTSEDITOR removed from the full toss he was By Heidi Blake after he dropped three dismissed with in the mid-week. catches. Lancaster opener After another great start from Once the middle order bats- EDITOR Baluchandran scored a opening batsmen Nick Vanner men came in, there was a definite YORK MEN’S 2nds poised 72 runs, including and Tom Hudson, York put on a slowing down of the running, pos- secured a hard fought vic- a series of boundaries. textbook performance to dispatch sibly in part due to the dull weath- tory at the end of an excit- Despite a three-fig- Lancaster in the highlight of the er. In the overs leading up to the ing day of cricket at the 22 ure partnership from Roses cricket schedule. 30th, the shot selection of the Acres on Friday. Lancaster’s opening bats- Following on from a domi- batsmen was occasionally dubious Having won the toss men, York’s bowling side nating win during the week, the and combined with the casual and batted first, York AYork wicket falls. Photo: Georgi Mabee managed to get back on York Men’s first cricket team were running, Lancaster were reward- racked up a total of 272 his poise against some at 210 for 5 off 42 overs. top of the game as two in high spirits going into their ed with wickets - Hudson going runs which Lancaster fell vicious balls and survived York’s tail end then successive wickets from Roses encounter, especially as for 90 and Portlock for 32. short of by a modest 37. several big shouts for collapsed, leaving Andrew Emmerson fol- their captain Jamie Vanner The Lancaster batsmen, on The early dismissal of LBW. He was finally Lancaster with a total of lowed by a further two returned to full fitness after a the other hand, looked far from York’s openers, Richard bowled on 90 by a quick 272 to chase after lunch. from Guy Baxendale put mid-week absence through injury. comfortable. Remington and Andrew delivery from Fernley. Lancaster made a paid to the efforts of The attitude and teamwork By the mid-point of the Lewin, brought Adam Adam Child was slow start to their innings, Lancaster’s top order. of the York batsmen was to be cru- innings it was just a matter of Child and Nick Hudson to caught at mid-wicket on and they were left with The Lancaster bat- cial in the opening stages; first- time before the York first team the crease. The pair held 37 off the bowling of Scott, just 38 runs for no wicket ting side chased York’s years Vanner and Hudson once players celebrated their third win their nerve and racked up and Cook was soon after after 12 overs. However, total down to 235 runs, again opened the batting order in three games, looking strong all a partnership of 128. caught and bowled on 16 the opening batsmen cap- but were bowled all out in and got off to a great start – rack- the way to victory in this year’s Hudson maintained by Grub, leaving the score italised on a sudden col- the 46th over. ing up a familiar partnership of Roses. NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 5 ROSES2007 York Rugby Close win for Lancaster giants Sevens beaten RUGBY York Men’s 1sts 19 by pace Lancaster Men’s 1sts 24 RUGBY SEVENS By Albi Furlan By Albi Furlan SPORTS CORRESPONDENT SPORTS CORRESPONDENT

YORK’S fast-flowing play YORK SUFFERED a disappointing loss was neutralised on Sunday overall in the Rugby Sevens on Friday, as a tough Lancaster pack gaining only one point out of a possible helped the visitors run out seven. 24-19 victors. Only the Men's 3rds managed to York started quickly, win their game, with Lancaster emphat- and the huge effort put in ically coming out on top in the other by all the squad this year four. showed from the kick-off. It was the 3rds that kicked off first, Strong running by full- and good pressure from Sam Dudley back James Wilson and Dave Thomas put Lancaster on the opened up the Lancaster back foot. After a long stint of posses- defence and a smart pass sion, Chris Carr broke through two in the tackle by fly-half tackles to score from 40 yards out. Tom Benbow saw winger The second half was dotted by Rob Milnes score in the missed chances from both teams, with corner in the third minute. the Lancaster winger knocking on with Even when Lancaster the try line begging. Carr scored had the ball, they could beneath the posts to guarantee the find no holes in York’s points as York won 10 - 5. defence. Good tackles by The 2nds game started with some Nick Mason and Dan Despite a strong start,York were unable to make heavy hitting by Warwick Burrows and Newcombe kept the red Nick Brown, but Lancaster’s speed rose pinned in their own theirearly advantage count.Photos:Ally Carmichael proved to be too much. Good tackling half. bring Lancaster even at take, stealing a pass gone and pressure from York often left the Strong play by the the end of the first half. to ground and spreading opposition isolated, but despite a bully- mobile York pack freed up The second half start- the ball right before the ing scrummaging effort from Roberts, the back line and slick ed with Lancaster on the York defence could set up, Hurst and Callis, Lancaster prevailed handling by Mason, front foot, and it was not sending the fly-half over 24-0. Benbow and Wilson left long until they outmus- line in the far corner. In the 1sts game, York simply did outside centre Danny cled the York pack again, Searching for a way not secure enough possession to convert Stacey with a clear run for driving another maul over back in, it was York’s their running into tries. A few missed to the posts. He was for their third try, which scrummaging technique, tackles were quickly preyed upon by the stopped short by the was then converted. While one of the team’s strong sheer velocity of the Lancaster back speedy Lancaster half- the red rose had a tough points, which forced the division. Despite some good running by backs, who had to kill the time withstanding the red rose to collapse again, a very mobile York team, the final score ball to keep it from being opposite scrum’s pressure, and the referee awarding a was 45-5 to the away side. stolen, and Wilson scored in the loose and line-out penalty try. Chris Fox, Club Captain, said: “I’m through a tackle after tak- their height and size was a However, just as York very pleased with the way the third ing the penalty quickly. Lancaster forwards how- over after taking their own telling advantage. The loss were frantically looking team outfought their rivals completely. Rob Milnes slotted ever, who started stealing line-out. The second came of winger and kicker Rob for chinks in Lancaster’s In the other two games we were a bit home the conversion from the ball at lineouts and when the ball went Milnes for concussion also defence, needing a con- starved for possession, and with a team in front of the posts to give rucks. straight to the flanker, proved a blow for the verted try to win, a bad that quick, not having possession York a 12 point lead. The first Lancaster who simply flopped over home side. pass went to ground, becomes dangerous.” The large deficit was try was scored off a rolling the line for the try, which Lancaster’s backs spelling defeat for the In the Women’s 2nds, Lancaster a wake-up call for the maul, driving their flanker was duly converted to exploited a rare York mis- white rose. immediately put York under pressure, scoring in under two minutes. York tried to fight back with some good dis- tribution from Caz Davies and crunch- Lancaster Women’s break down brave York ing hits from Allison Crittenden. Lancaster managed to maintain posses- RUGBY great cover tackle on four scores was a brilliant was a bit lenient on sion however, and the game finished York Women’s 1sts 0 York’s wing Chrissie Leahy solo try by the Lancaster Lancaster during the with a loss for York by 10 to 0. Lanc. Women’s 1sts 47 that stopped her from 12, who received the ball scrums and rucks, and this In the Women's 1sts Lancaster scoring in the corner. on the halfway line. affected the best aspect of were simply more clinical and were By Albi Furlan York went further Late substitutions York’s game. quick to hack the ball downfield when SPORTS CORRESPONDENT behind after Lancaster’s brought some extra speed However it was ulti- the white rose’s backs dropped it, pin- speedy outside centre to the home side, but this mately Lancaster’s distri- ning them in their own half and scoring YORK WOMEN'S 1sts scored two tries in as was not enough to keep bution that provided the two tries. A second-half revival was not were outgunned by a dom- many minutes. The first possession. The referee home team’s demise. enough for York to go down 21-0. inant Lancaster side at 22 half ended with a ghost Acres on Saturday after- try, when a Lancaster MYWEEKEND noon. player seemed to be tack- A slow start set the led short. However after a Brian Cantor - University of York Vice-Chancellor tone and pace for the rest Photo: Ally Carmichael few minutes of debating, of a match characterised the referee decided to My best moment of the My worst moment of the The best performance of the by strong tackling from of possession, Lancaster award it. weekend: weekend: weekend: both sides. However it was touched down under the In the second half, I enjoyed playing croquet Finding out the weather fore- The Women’s Senior Four Lancaster’s speed in posts and converted. Lancaster came out firing against the Lancaster AU cast predicted rain for the cro- Rowing victory in a tightly spreading the ball wide A great scrummaging and continued pressure by President Dave Greenshields quet was something of a blow contested race was definitely that caught the York effort by York’s pack, the Lancaster XV kept the and Vice-Chancellor of to me. The match has had to the most thrilling event of the defence out. spearheaded by the vocal York girls pinned in their Lancaster, Paul Wellings. I was be cancelled for the previous weekend. However, all the Lancaster’s first try Katie Croft, put the oppo- own 22. very pleased with York’s win in two years, which is why I was contestants must be congratu- was scored 15 minutes in, sition on their back foot. The pick of the afternoon and am unbe- so glad that I was able to play lated for their hard work and when after several phases As a result, it was only a Lancaster’s remaining lievably proud of the victory. today against Lancaster. dedication over this weekend. 6 Sports Sports 7 ROSES2007 ROSES2007 Long ball Late show stuns Lancaster game fails in game of few chances ANALYSIS FOOTBALL By Toby Green York Men’s 2nds 1 SPORTS CORRESPONDENT Lancaster Men’s 2nds 0 By Criss Noice THE OPINION of Lancaster’s captain, DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR Neil Morgan, that they were playing against a “poor side” was an overly harsh A LATE York goal was the only score in a judgement on York’s efforts, but the home game that had few clear chances. team’s tactics failed to take advantage of After a close start, York took the ini- their strengths. tiative in the second half and dominated In a game characterised by battling the possession, scoring in the last 10 midfield performances from both sides, it minutes to seal their victory over was the visitor’s advantage in height that Lancaster on the crucial last day of Roses won them the game. Yet if York had stuck point scoring. to what they had done best throughout the In the early stages, neither side match, keeping the ball on the deck and looked to be taking a distinct advantage, spreading it out to the wide men, then they with the majority of the play being held may have walked away with some of the up in the midfield. points. However, when the breaks came in Booting high balls into the box was the first half, they usually came through understandable in the last five minutes as the brilliant chasing of York centre for- York stretched for the equaliser they prob- ward Mike Flood who would not let the ably deserved, yet they had maintained this defenders rest. As a result, he caused strategy with poor returns for the majority them a number of problems, and created of the match. With the front men lacking the first real chance of the match when a decent possession, the tall Lancaster long ball over the top forced a save from defence dealt easily with the York pressure. Lancaster keeper Ed Middleton in the Attack after attack was swatted away, and sixth minute. although the York defence dealt admirably York’s defending in the first half was with Lancaster’s similar tactic, they were first-class, as both Graeme Wiggins and ultimatly more effective. Jack Amiry made crucial tackles to cut In fact, it was when the home team out the Lancaster attack force. The kept the ball on the ground, playing it out strong defending was backed up by inci- wide and displaying nice touches, that they sive passing through the midfield to the achieved the most. The wide men often ever dangerous Flood, who in the 31st managed to get behind the Lancaster back minute looked to beat the Lancaster line when given the chance, and low cross- keeper to the ball after the defence was es across the area in the first half could so left standing. nearly have been buried in the back of the Both players went down and York net. Photo: Georgi Mabee captain Mark Worral kept a cool head to Moore (right) had a strong game upfront. Photo: Ally Carmichael Morgan’s further observation that it step away from physical confrontation started as they left off by having the Eventually the breakthrough was an “awful and scrappy game” seemed with the Lancaster keeper, allowing the majority of the possession and playing came from substitute Carl Lewis, who closer to the truth, yet this was always game to continue. great football down the wings through lobbed the keeper from outside the box going to be the case. Despite the fact that From that point on, it was York who Flood and Ed Murrills. It was an attack with just five minutes to play. Despite the Roses was in the bag by the time the Ten-man Lancaster scrape close win had the advantage going into the half- down the flanks in the 56th minute the shot being somewhat unintention- match started, the big games of the week- time break and were looking the more that led to one of many clear cut al, Lewis believed that York were the end always have that extra level of tension. inventive with their passing and overall chances for York in the second half, better team by far. He said: “We creat- As a result the tie had a cup-final feel to it; FOOTBALL they looked to create more down the Play remained fragmented and The final seconds saw increasing both teams knew they could have won. strength at the back. Tom Moore just shooting wide of the ed enough chances and held the ball unfortunately this produced cup final foot- York Men’s 1sts 0 channels, but clear chances were gen- frenetic, with chances few and far pressure on the Lancaster back-line Speaking after the game, centre At the start of the second half, York net from ten yards out. well. We deserved the win.” ball. Both sides gave away countless nig- Lancaster Men’s 1sts 1 erally thwarted by the dominant aerial between. It took the sending-off of from a series of resulting corners, but forward Pardeep Singh expressed his gling fouls, which the referee could per- performances from both central Lancaster player Paul Reay for foul it was not to be for York as Lancaster disappointment at his own perform- MYWEEKEND haps have limited with more discipline and By Daniel Whitehead defences. and abusive language, to reinvigorate broke free and missed an open net ance. He said: “It was always going to York achieve payback better use of his cards. SPORTS EDITOR However, the opening and ulti- a tiring crowd. with Taylor stranded upfield. As the be a scrappy, poor game of football. Ioan ‘Noah’ Lewis - Despite the superior height of the mately decisive goal came against the Despite the renewed sense of keeper took the goal kick, the referee The chances were few and far BADMINTON MIXED Lancaster team, the midfield battle was LANCASTER CLAIMED a hard- run of play in the 25th minute. A fero- optimism and the advantage of an signalled the end of the match. between, but they got the ball down Lanc’s Rugby 1sts Capt. York 8 even, with Dan Brown, York’s captain, fought 1-0 victory in a tense and often ciously whipped in free-kick from extra man, York were starting to look Lancashire celebrated, but in truth and played it around better than us.” Lancaster 1 excelling himself in getting stuck in. The fraught affair as Roses 2007 drew to a Lancaster was met with a tame header jaded and lacked offensive penetration Proudest moment of the weekend: game started at a frenetic pace, yet neither close. from the commanding centre-back as Lancaster looked to run out time on The professionalism of the team. We’ve By Jack Kennedy side managed to settle into a rhythm with Although York had already been James Hopkins, but managed to find the clock by holding the ball up on the York 0 - 1 Lancaster had a lot of stick throughout the last York 1st XI SPORTS CORRESPONDENT no-one being allowed any time on the ball. announced as overall victors, it was a its way thorough several players and wings. Sunday May 6 2007 few years for being unprofessional - off The stop-start nature of the game nervous atmosphere and the weight of into the bottom left corner, as York Substitutions were made on 22 Acres GK the field, perhaps on the field as well - THE MIXED badminton team pro- played into the away team’s hands, and expectation was reflected in the early goalkeeper Ben Taylor was left strand- either wing by the home side as they Key Moments: Taylor but we made a massive effort from two duced a dominating performance to weeks before hand, and that showed although the goal came against the run of exchanges as both sides looked over- ed. attempted to inject greater pace down RB CB CB overwhelmingly defeat Lancaster in a 21 min - York Chance, free shot wide of goal (0-0), O’Shea LB through with great fitness and good play, the difference in height proved the come by the occasion. Despite the setback, York recov- the underexposed flanks. However, Evans McWilliams Matthews Gouland 8-1 victory. 25 min - Lancaster Goal, from free-kick, (0-1), Hopkins skills. 72 min - Lancaster Red Card, abusive language, (0-1), Reay decisive factor. Both teams played with great ered well, forcing three corners in Lancaster worked hard, pressurising RM CM CM LM In the first event on Friday, York 90 min - York Chance, shot deflects off defender, (0-1), Brennan Searle Browne From that point in, Lancaster were energy but little urgency as the mid- quick succession from open play, but the ball well within their own half of Brennan Smith Roses rivalry: were clearly intent on proving that this not going to be bothered by the lack of flu- fielders pressurised the ball well, and went into half-time a goal down. the field and defending deep to pre- Player Ratings: CF CF I think Lancaster and York are two year they will not be a pushover. They idity and they would have scored more if it prevented any prolonged periods of The start of the second period vent exposing themselves to the dan- O’Shea Singh quickly raced into a 3-0 lead, with 1sts York: Taylor(7), Evans(6), McWilliams(7), Matthews(6), very similar teams. We’ve got two simi- was not for the brilliance of York’s keeper, possession. It took until the 21st saw a greater attacking threat from gerous pace of the York forwards. pair Jonty Hiley and Sarah Myers win- Gouland(6), Searle(7), Browne(5), Brennan(5), Smith(5), CF CF lar campuses, similar cultures and Photo: Georgi Mabee the home team’s man of the match. minute for the first chance to be fash- both teams as Lancaster looked to fin- It took until injury time to see the O’Shea(5), Singh(4) Ashton Gladkow players. I won’t take away any bad ning all three of their rubbers.

As the crowd became more vocal at ioned from a tidy move down the ish the game off. However, it was York next attempt on goal from a free-kick Lancaster: Harrison(6), Froggate(6), Hopkins(9), LM CM CM RM memories of the weekend at all, and Despite a disappointing perform- Lancaster’s 1sts team despite Tom the end, urging York to find an equaliser, a right-side by York building up to an who looked the more dangerous. A on the edge of the Lancaster penalty Ingham(7), Morgan(7), Workman(7), Lowe(7), Nugent(6), Reay Nugent Lowe Workman I’m looking forward to next year and ance by 2nds pair Paddy Clarke and Moore urging the players to take it easy succession of corners just failed to find a open opportunity which striker Dan powerful run from right-winger John box. 10 men were sent forward for Reay(5), Gladkow(6), Ashton(6) for Lancaster to regain the trophy. Lindsay McCann, York refused to slow for the afternoon games. LB CB CB RB vital breakthrough. Both teams will have O’Shea dragged wide of the left-hand Seale produced an opening in the mid- York, including goalkeeper Ben Taylor, down. Hiley said: “[Lancaster] played Player of the Match: Morgan Ingham Hopkins Froggate Roses in six words: gone away feeling as if they had been in a post. dle only for captain Dan Browne to hit and a great opportunity was spurned GK Rob Walker and Nicci Farr, York’s with the same team last year and beat James Hopkins(Lancaster) - Was at the heart of everything that Huge effort. Emotionally draining. tough game, yet York could be excused for The first opportunity signalled a a speculative overhead kick high and as the set-piece was drilled into a Lancaster did well, he was dominent in the air, he got forward well Harrison 3rd pair, worked especially hard to us convincingly, so it’s very nice to turn wondering what could so nearly have been. change in approach from both sides as wide. Lancaster player. and scored what proved to be the winning goal. Lancaster 1st XI Great fun. record a very special win over it around. We’ve sent out a message.” Sponsored by NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER 8 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 ROSES2007 Races on the river end in split points ROWING York 4 Lancaster 4 By Matt Jeynes SPORTS CORRESPONDENT ON A cold and windy Sunday morning on the River Ouse, York and Lancaster shared the points in a tightly contested series of races. With home advantage all important in rowing, as the home coxes knew far more about the course than the away ones, confidence was high in York coxes had hoped for a home advantage. Photos: Georgi Mabee the York camp. This was despite the scheduling mix-up morning, the Senior 4s. In the lowed, along with a strange that had left them having to Women’s, York had a great start sense of déjà vu for the specta- race the day after the BUSA and they pulled away from the tors, as the women stroked con- national regatta. Lancaster crew throughout fidently to a win. Once again The opening races, the their race, extending their lead the men fought desperately Freshers 4’s, had no points to three lengths by the end. hard, but were just beaten on value, but were good warm-ups This came much to the delight the line in almost identical cir- for the crowd. There was early of the mostly York crowd, cumstances to the seniors. drama when the rudder broke which included a rare appear- The crowd were then rub- on the Men’s Freshers boat and ance from the Vice-Chancellor, bing their eyes in disbelief as it struck the Lancaster boat, the Brian Cantor. the formula was followed once two careening towards the Unfortunately, the Men’s more in the Senior 8s, with the bank. could not capatalise on their women winning well and the When the problem had quick start, as they lost a very men losing another very close been fixed, Lancaster streaked tight race. Despite coming back race. One observer said: “The to a clear win, easing up at the from a length down coming women rowed better than they end and balancing out the win into the final straight, the ever thought was possible.” for York in the Women’s crowd could not lift them to the The Womens’ Captain said Freshers 4. win and they were defeated by she was just “pleased to have The next races were the the narrowest of margins. contributed to York’s bid for the first of the big events of the The Novice 4s then fol- Roses trophy.” A win against the wind Ambulance called as York ARCHERY By Jo Shelley lose in violent Karate battle KARATE hit in the throat, leading to contestant was left bleeding SPORTS CORRESPONDENT calls for medical help which from the mouth and then an THE YORK Archery Club By Jenny O’Mahony was not available. Just after, ambulance was called for a took nine points out of the SPORTS CORRESPONDENT Kelly Robinson, who was Lancaster contestant being ten available on Sunday, as competing for the first time, knocked violently to the strong winds made it hard A VICIOUS battle in the scored York's only point as floor. for both teams. Dance Studio on Saturday Lancaster won 2-1. Despite the injuries, the The match took place left Lancaster taking all four The lack of medical Lancaster team took the on the archery range behind points, and a contestant in assistance was also high- Men’s tie, and left them with the National Science hospital. lighted in the Men's compe- all the points with a 3-1 win Learning Centre. Archers Both the Men's and the tition, as first a Lancaster in total. from York and Lancaster Women's teams competed lined up side-by-side to first in the Kata and then in shoot concurrently at targets 30 shots were fired at each target.Photo:Erik Lang the sparring. In the Kata, MYWEEKEND YUSU positioned 40, 50 and 60 picked up just one point were Cox, Ed Russell- where the two contestants President meters away. All participants from their co-captain Amy Johnson, Tom Walton and must replicate a series of fired 30 shots at each target. Hall's victory in the captain Andrew McArthur Japanese commands, Micky Armstrong 2005-06 Five hours after the first 'Individual Female' category. who, as the top scoring par- Lancaster Women’s slight shot had been fired, arrows The York team kept up ticipants, collectively scored superiority in attention to My best moment of the whole social thing and the were slung over shoulders their high standard of shoot- an astonishing 2547 to detail left York ahead with a weekend: teams getting together, not and the teams' scores com- ing throughout the day. Dave Lancaster's 2102, earning 2-1 advantage. The Men’s Lacrosse was just the competitive sporting piled. York, of course, had Cox, Jess Walker and Fran York their final four points. The York men manage absolutely fantastic and side. the advantage - not just Konitzer came top in the Speaking after the to outdo their Lancaster although we didn’t win, the because of being on home classes of 'Individual Male', match, McArthur said: "I'm counterparts by an equally Men’s 1sts Rugby was a great Predictions for future Roses: turf, but having taken all 10 'Novice Male' and 'Novice really excited about the slim margin, finishing up 3- game. This weekend is brilliant, it points in the last two years of Female' respectively, secur- result, it's brilliant. The wind 2, resulting in the points always has been and it Roses. ing three crucial points for has hindered it a lot today, so being shared. Roses D: always will be. So many peo- Lancaster were left the home side. Another two the score's been a lot lower However, the real action It was very good, although ple - players and supporters unsurprised but deflated as points were won by York's than it would have been, but came in the sparring compe- the Lancaster turnout was - turn out to watch the they failed to make an top three novice archers. it's just great to get the tition. In the Women's match disappointing; after all, the games, and it has the poten- impact across the board, and The top performers points." a Lancaster contestant was whole point of Roses is the tial to go so far. NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 8 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 9 ROSES2007 Equestrian win ensures early points

EQUESTRIAN The jumping, which followed the dressage, By Venetia Rainey started off on the wrong SPORTS CORRESPONDENT foot with a Lancaster rider being disqualified for a YORK PRODUCED an wrong course start after impressive victory in the the bell had been rung. mixed Equestrian, the Rules were firmly first event of Roses 2007. stuck to, and the fairness There was an air of of the judging was proved dignity to the event on after York rider, Heather Thursday, as both sides Stevens, jumped the were decked out in their entire course perfectly, smart matching team only to be told she too was gilets and jackets. disqualified because The event started someone had forgotten to competitor. “I couldn't ask for a with dressage, with all 16 ring the bell first. Her 3rd and 2nd place more dedicated team, riders rotating in order for dressage score was still were equally shared including those who a member of both the A allowed to count for team between York’s Kat Boyd weren’t able to compete and the B team from points, but she was not and Rebecca Harris, and today.” Lancaster and York to allowed to compete for 1st place was awarded to Katie Smith, York A’s have a chance at riding the individual placing. York’s Sophie Hudson. captain, said: “It was a same horse. The rest of the event Team victories brilliant day. Everyone Heather Stevens of went smoothly despite a abounded too, as York A rose to the occasion and York A provided a strong long pause when Toni accrued only 8 penalty this was clearly reflected start on Matilda, a Newman’s horse, Percy, points compared to 17 in the result.” Hanovarian roan, and set got far too over-enthusias- gained by Lancaster A. Lancaster’s captain, the standard for the rest of tic and refused to be con- York B secured a hearty however, remarked in a the competition. trolled. Despite this, she victory with a brilliant 14 moment of poor spirit that Despite some prob- went on to jump the points against Lancaster they treated Roses as only lems on Primrose, an course without fault. B’s 47. a “fun event, not like Anglo-Arab horse who York came out Harris, York B’s cap- BUSA.” played up for riders from unequivocal winners of tain, said of their victory: Special mention both York and Lancaster, the event; 5th and 6th “Our team is delighted should be made to there were also some fan- place individual perform- with the Roses result, it is Gemma Johnson and Kat tastic tests from Sophie ance rosettes went to just what we had hoped Johnson who were unable Hudson from York and Lancaster riders, and 4th for after months of train- to partake due to illness Lancaster’s Amelia place went to Lizzie ing and pre-Roses prepa- and exams, but who both Markey. Jordan, a last minute ration. made the Nationals. The Equestrian kicked off Roses on Thursday. Photos by Erik Lang MYWEEKEND Richard Remington Strong performance in the York supporter and Football2nds Best moment of the weekend: pool leaves York in front Everything about being involved. Coming into Roses as a Fresher, I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it that much but once you get involved, it’s SWIMMING such an amazing feeling. There have been a couple of scuffles, people best, with a York swim- competition drew to an might be a bit aggressive but it’s expected and I think we’re giving as York 87 mer finishing an incredi- end. good as we get. I just love it, it’s really good fun. Lancaster 49 ble 10.52 seconds before The last race of the her Lancaster competi- evening was the 8x25 Best match: By Natalie Nakasone tors. metre Cannon Relay in The indoor football. We won 10-4 and I scored a couple of goals, SPORTS CORRESPONDENT The Men’s perform- which York finished 2.35 which of course was a really good feeling. I can’t wait for the final cer- ance was not quite as seconds ahead of emony, and I’m going out to celebrate in Gallery tonight! A FANTASTIC swimming dominating, with Lancaster. performance on Friday Lancaster prevailing in York took the points saw York defeat Lancaster the the 50 metre Butterfly despite the fact that their Swimming times by 38 points. seeing Lancaster defeat star swimmer, Steven Race The Women’s 4x50 York by just under half a Knight, had to sit out the York Lancaster metre Medley Relay set second. However the clos- majority of the competi- W 4x50 Medley 2.18.51 2.31.65 the tone for the rest of the est defeat for York came in Photo by Erik Lang tion due to illness. M 4x50 Medley 1.58.76 2.05.15 competition, as York fin- the 50 metre Breaststroke Unsurprisingly the ished with a time of 2 min- as Lancaster finished a stretch York pulled ahead York competitors were W 50m Butterfly 33.07 34.82 35.84 38.43 utes and 18 seconds to mere 0.15 seconds ahead. to win with a time of 1 extremely pleased with M 50m Butterfly 20.34 30.64 28.78 32.48 beat the opposition. The Yet in every other minute and 48 seconds to their performance. Knight Men’s 4x50 metre Medley race the Men’s won, finish- Lancaster’s 1 minute and said: “It was an awesome W 50m Backstroke 36.50 34.68 40.82 37.65 Relay was a closer race, ing in top place even with 53 seconds. team effort.” He also M 50m Backstroke 32.37 31.67 34.98 33.04 but an aggressive finish by competition from With home fans recognised that the home W 50m Breaststroke York got them the win. Lancaster. The most excit- already ecstatic about the team had a key advantage, 40.62 38.37 43.76 45.29 The York Women’s ing race of the day came in 34 point lead, it seemed as seeing as the team prac- M 50m Breaststroke 34.16 36.07 34.01 34.18 team saw top performanc- the Men’s 4x50 metre if York were heading for a tices at the Holgate swim- W 50m Freestyle 33.47 32.06 35.29 36.50 es as they dominated in Freestyle relay. Lancaster well-deserved win. ming pool. every match. The 50 metre built an early and consid- Lancaster continued Jo Betts praised M 50m Freestyle 28.00 26.81 29.17 30.68 Breaststroke saw strong erable lead, starting off at to produce a strong effort York’s dedication and skill. W 100m Ind. Medley 1.15.09 1.25.61 effort with both York a quick pace. and showed a great deal of She said: “This is the third swimmers finishing before Halfway into the relay determination. Yet their year we’ve won, so every- M 100m Ind. Medley 1.08.34 1.06.15 their Lancaster competi- York began to cut back energy levels began to vis- one is really pleased. We W 4x50 Freestyle 2.10.01 2.10.03 tors. Lancaster’s lead, but it still ibly drop, with losses in thought it was going to be The 100 metre seemed they could only both the Men’s and a close competition but we M 4x50 Freestyle 1.68.95 1.53.22 Individual Medley wit- manage a close second. Women’s 4x50 metre completely annihilated Mixed 8x25 Cannon 1.56.29 1.58.64 nessed the women at their However, on the last Freestyle Relays as the them.” Sponsored by NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER 10 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 ROSES2007

was gathered by York who drilled the ball up the field. From there, Fergus Shields flicked at a shot which was Tense win in desperately parried away by the Lancastrian keeper into the waiting stick of Ben Griffiths, who slammed it easily home to open the scoring for York. hockey thriller The opening goal was a blow from which Lancaster never fully recovered. HOCKEY trated within their half. Ten minutes of intense pressure from This pressure was bound to see York turned the screw on the YorkMen’s1sts 2 results eventually, and 10 minutes Lancaster defence as they struggled to LancasterMen’s1sts 0 into the second half, the Lancaster break out of their half. team spotted a gap in the York The second goal came from a By Nicky Woolf defence. spectacular run by Billy Walsh and SPORTSCORRESPONDENT A two-prong Lancastrian attack Hughes, who ran rings around the slid through the momentarily Lancaster defence, before Hume took TWO SECOND half goals secured an stunned York defence lined up with the pass and slotted the ball home to important win for York in a tight the goal, and missed completely, hit- complete a neat attack. game on Saturday afternoon. ting a weak chip-ball slowly forward With the score standing at 2-0, Right from the start York were that was easily caught up by the Lancaster knew the game was as good on the offensive, putting a compla- recovering York defender and as over, and despite both Andy Hook cent Lancaster defence immediately cleared. and Griffiths suffering mild leg under pressure. An early short corner A brief confusion ensued, possi- injuries, the final minutes of the game allowed York to display some beauti- bly exacerbated by the jeers of the were York’s. fully quick passing with the resulting York supporters, which resulted in As the final whistle blew the shot on goal going just wide. both the Lancastrian number 8 and Lancaster players slumped to their Lancaster, a team who are the York number 13, Alex Topsfield, knees, and York were jubilant after a ranked a league above in the BUSA being awarded yellow cards. surprising yet convincing victory. competition, were forced to work The damage this did to hard to repel an early onslaught from Lancastrian morale was palpable, York 2 - 0 Lancaster York, with the first 20 minutes of the and a weak Lancastrian short corner York Men’s1sts game seeing a concerted series of ambitious attacks from the forwards. GK Gibaud York player Ollie Hughes came the closest to scoring when he RB CB SW LB chipped a cross onto the top of the Hook Beale Westley (c) Palmer left goalpost. James Hume also made RM CM LM Walsh Morgan Topsfield a spectacular shot straight through RF CF LF the legs of three Lancaster defenders Hume Shields Griffiths which was only barely stopped by a Welton Backhouse Keating frenetic effort by the Lancastrian LF CF RF goalkeeper, which meant at half-time Lloyd Hill Bowler the scoreline was still 0-0. LM CM RM Boulton Lancaster regrouped over the Davies Bayley Miller LB CB SW RB break, and the beginning of the sec- ond half saw a renewed spirit infused Baylis GK into the Lancaster team. The York team suddenly found themselves on Lancaster Men’s1sts the back foot, and play was concen- Apainful finish forthe Lancasterteam.Photos:Erik Lang Sharp shooting proves decisive Second-half collapse NETBALL scoring 2 goals almost as leaves Lacrosse team York 1sts 32 soon as the third quarter Lancaster1sts 37 began, and York took this precendent and dominated with too much to do By Jenny O’Mahony for the next ten minutes. SPORTSCORRESPONDENT Unfortunately the LACROSSE York were still struggling to Lancaster Defence then York 1sts 3 break down a very efficient LANCASTERPRODUCED began to show some real Lancaster1sts 5 and organised Lancaster a solid performance to take strength in the fourth quar- defence. the points in a high-scoring ter, which began with By Matthew Jeynes It took a superb solo game on Saturday. Lancaster 21-16 up. Their SPORTSCORRESPONDENT goal from Smith to finally After just five minutes Goal Keeper, Pearson, made break them down, as she Lancaster were already lead- some excellent steals and IT WAS a disappointing day beat two Lancaster players ing, with the Lancaster Goal blocks against the York side. for the Women’s 1sts before unleashing a powerful Attack François overpower- The climax of the game Lacrosse team as they suc- shot into the bottom-left cor- ing the York Goalkeeper. saw a furious amount of cumbed to a 5-3 defeat at the ner from a tight angle. Sarah Pyecroft scored scoring on both sides, as 15 hands of a pumped-up However, Lancaster York’s first goal to bring the Lancs.won a free-scoring game.Photo:Georgi Mabee minutes saw a total of 18 Lacrosse team. started strongly in the sec- score to 2-1, but immediately first quarter ended with really hitting their stride, as goals. The relentless running Both sides experienced ond half and quickly leveled from the restart Lancaster Lancaster holding an 8-7 they continued to dominate, on the pitch emphasised the a nervy start to the match, the scores. With the momen- stole two more points. The advantage. ending 13-9 at half time. breathless action. Despite with York particularly scrap- tum in their favour, the team exciting nature of the end to During the second quar- The second half of the York battling hard to come py in the opening exchanges. moved 5-2 ahead by the start end action of the first quarter ter, York strode ahead to game saw York change their back into the game, coming However, York began to of the final quarter. was marred by numberous leave Lancaster trailing by Goal Shooter in order to give within 2 points late in the assert their dominance and York managed to pull a misses by York. two points at 10-8, thanks to the attacking half of the game, eventually the solid the team was lifted by strong goal back through Alicia However, the players some well thought out tacti- squad new impetus, having defence and extremely accu- work in the midfield. A quick Hanlon but it was too little, managed to claw back some cal throwing which led York seen them flag slightly and rate shooting of the visitors Smith run-and-pass set up too late as the clock was points to draw level at 6-6 to briefly dominate territory rely more heavily on the meant that Lancaster fin- Carina Topham for the open- always against them. A after an excellent catch and and possession. Centre for their lay-ups to ished up the winners with a ing goal, as York ended the delighted Lancaster team goal from the York Goal The second quarter shoot. She immediately deserved victory, the final first quarter 1-0 up. celebrated their victory as Shooter Mary. However, the ended with the York team made her presence known by score being 37-32. In the second quarter, York rued missed chances. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sp o n so r ed b y Tu esd ay M ay 8 2007 Sn ap p y Sn ap s Sports 11 ROSES2007 Sweat and booze: inside the enemy

much for most, and once While most enjoyed their all the matches had fin- ished, everyone headed Ro ses, Venetia Rainey back home. As a last resort, I attended the Roses closing decided to explore the ceremony where the tro- phies were handed out. view from the ‘other side’ We managed to chat to some of the Lancaster girl’s rugby team (who, by ost people will rose (it really was that per- the way, are really not as have relaxed oxide), I later found out ugly as they look on pitch), over their that it had been done “for and get their comment on M weekend, laz- unity, to make us stand the weekend: “We’ve had a ing about watching the out.” Apparently they did- really good weekend. The sport, or else being not so n’t dye it red because “that Roses Ball was awesome, lazy and actually playing. would look stupid”. but it wasn’t worth 20 My task was to report At Roses D, I was quid though. Oh yeah, and on the social side of the quickly approached by a the rugby old boys are weekend, especially from fat student from the sleazy gits.” Oh, how I con- the Lancaster point of Lancaster side who cur, Lancaster. view. However, with the assured me in slurred Roses, all in all, was a big matches being played tones that the rugby team brilliant weekend. If I on Saturday and Sunday, “were a bunch of girls”. He hadn’t been running most Lancastrians were didn’t seem too sure around worrying about on a strict drinking ban, whether he was talking Photo:Ally Carmichael Lancaster, I expect I and thus were unable to about Lancaster or York, would have enjoyed it even go out. Despite this disap- or in fact the girl’s rugby The should be sunglasses ling to give something would be the Rugby 1sts more. For future AU pointment, there was team. Lancaster twins.” We began to back to the community”), match. Apart from our organisers, I would sug- plenty of fun to be had The next day was Rugby exchange information and, of course, last night’s defeat (we battled hard gest leaving a whole night both on and off the pitch. grey, but luckily for me the team in about all the normal lashage: “Between us, we throughout) and a fat, free for everyone to The weekend began banter was much better all their things students talk about: pulled about 15 girls last rather unappealing socialise at a less expen- with the arrival of the than the weather and I beauty degree subject (“I study night. I got these ulcers in Lancastrian streaker, sive, good old mingling- bleached-blonde was approached by a birds, you know, girls. It’s my mouth after kissing there was nothing. The orientated York event. Lancastrian rugby team. Lancaster footballer called ornithology”), one of them and I got football provided some Who knows, maybe I’ll At a loss to understand whose chat-up line was: extra-curricular activities, them downstairs as well.” pitch-side banter and even play a sport next time why they had dyed their “Oh, look, we’re both (“I used to be a model, but By Sunday, I thought some general good fun, round; at least it will get hair the colour of the York wearing aviators! We I gave up my life of m odel- that the best place to go but the wind proved too me into the dressing room.

Roses XXXXIII: York 143 103 Lancaster Y LPts YLPts YLPts YLPts MATCHES Fencing Lacrosse Ski Archery Men’s 1st s 111 135 4.0 Men’s 1st s 14 0 0.0 Mixed 1sts WL 4.0 Mixed N 1sts W L 2.0 Men’s 2nds 135 75 2.0 Women’s 1sts 3 5 4.0 Wom en’s W L 0.0 Mixed S 1sts W L 4.0 Women’s 1sts 90 135 4.0 Mixed 1sts 8 3 4.0 Snooker Men’s N 1sts W L 1.0 Foot ball Netball Mixed 1sts 2 3 4.0 Men’s S 1sts W L 1.0 Men’s 1sts 0 1 4.0 Women’s 1sts 32 37 4.0 Squash W’s N 1st s W L 1.0 Men’s 2nds 1 0 2.0 Women’s 2nds 38 20 2.0 Men’s 1sts 5 0 4.0 W’s S 1sts L W 1.0 Men’s 3rds 1 2 1.0 Wom en’s 3rd s 29 38 1.0 Men’s 2nds 5 0 2.0 Badmint on Wom en’s 1st s 2 7 4.0 Pool Women’s 1sts 5 0 4.0 Men’s 1st s 8 14.0Hockey Men’s 1st s 8 12.0 Swimming Men;s 2nds 812.0Men’s 1st s 2 0 4.0 Women’s 1st s 5 4 2.0 Mixed 87 49 4.0 Wom en’s 1st s 7 2 4.0 Men’s 2nds 4 0 2.0 Rowing Table Tennis Mixed 1sts 8 1 4.0 Men’s 3rds 1 4 1.0 Men’s F4’s L W 0.0 Mixed 1sts 11 6 4.0 Ballroom Dancing Women’s 1sts 1 4 4.0 Men’s N4s L W 2.0 Mixed 2nds 13 4 2.0 Mixed 1.5 2.5 4.0 Womens 2nd’s 1 2 2.0 Men’s S4s L W 4.0 Tenni s (points split 1.5-2.5) Mixed 1sts 3 0 2.0 Men’s S8s L W 4.0 Men’s 1sts 8 7 4.0 Basket ball Mixed 2nds L W 1.0 Wom en’s F4’s W L 0.0 Men’s 2nds 13 2 2.0 Men’s 1sts 50 42 4.0 Mixed 3rds 3 0 1.0 Women’s N4s W L 2.0 Women’s 1sts 4 11 4.0 Women’s 1st s 43 29 4.0 Indoor Cricket Women’s S4s WL 4.0 Mixed 1sts 4 24.0 Canoe Slalom Men’s 1sts 127 122 1.0 Women’s S8s W L 4.0 Trampoline Men’s L W 2.0 Indoor Football Rugby League Novice 149.8 151.3 4.0 Women’s W L 2.0 Men’s 1st s 2 3 2.0 Men’s 1st s 4 70 0.0 Intermediate L W 0.0 Canoe Pol o Men’s 2nds 10 4 1.0 Rugby Union Advanced L W 0.0 Men’s 1sts 1 3 2.0 Men’s 3rds 7 5 1.0 Men’s 1sts 19 27 4.0 El i t e L W 0 .0 Wom en’s 1st s 1 1 2.0 Women’s 1sts 1 4 2.0 Men’s 2nds 13 19 2.0 Ultimate Frisbee (points split 1.0-1.0) Wom en’s 2n d s 1 4 1.0 Wom en’s 1st s 0 47 4.0 Team 1 2 1 4 4 .0 Cricket Indoor Frisbee Rugby 7 s Volleyball Men’s 1st s 279 144 4.0 Team 8 62.0 Men’s 1st s 5 45 2.0 Men’s 1st s 3 0 4.0 Men’s 2nds 272 235 2.0 Indoor Hockey Men’s 2nds 0 24 1.0 Women’s 1sts 0 3 4.0 Darts Men’s 1sts 2 0 2.0 Men’s 3rds 10 5 1.0 Mixed 1sts 3 1 4.0 Men’s 5 4 2.0 Men’s 2nds 1 4 1.0 Women’s 1st s 0 21 2.0 VC’s Croquet Women’s 3 6 2.0 Women’s 1sts 2 3 2.0 Women’s 2nds 0 12 1.0 Special invite W L 0.0 Equestrian Women’s 2nds 1 4 1.0 Sailing Water Polo 1sts -8 -17 4.0 Karat e Mixed 1sts 3 0 4.0 Men’s 1sts 16 6 2.0 2nds -13 -48 2.0 Mixed 1 3 4.0 Mixed 2nds 2 0 2.0 Women’s 1sts 13 3 2.0 Sponsored by NOUSE:THEUNIVERSITYOFYORKSTUDENTNEWSPAPER 12 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 ROSES2007 TobyGreen A proper old-fashioned feel-good event

his weekend has been my powers-that-be really couldn’t care first experience of Roses, a less about them. A smile and a fact I’m slightly embar- chat every now and then wouldn’t Trassed about. Having been solve all the communication prob- too apathetic to attend any games lems this University has, but it in my first year, and not being would certainly provduce a bit involved enough in either the cov- more good faith. erage or the playing of last year’s It was also good to see old event to warrant travelling to members of the SU returning, Lancaster, I was surprised by how although perhaps the expulsion of much the weekend truly felt like a Micky Armstrong (Croker’s prede- major sporting battle. cessor) from Roses D wasn’t quite Forgive my cynicism, but big the homecoming he imagined. events are something York is not What was most surprising particularly known for. Yet from was how refreshingly honest they the moment the first scores and were about matters at the reports came in to our website University now they’ve left their from the Equestrian on the positions of responsibility, with Thursday, I felt as if this was quotes regarding campus media something the whole University rivals and the management of the was involved in. At first I thought University that I wished I could manning Nouse’s web coverage have got hold of a year or so ago would be the best way to experi- whilst they were still in power. ence Roses. Yet there’s only so However, this was probably more a much staring at a computer screen The competing Vice-Chancellors enjoy a cheeky game of croquet on Sunday. Photo:Georgi Mabee sign of the amount of alcohol con- you can take, so I decided to take a sumed over the weekend that any few hours off each day to actually seemed to have its own individual and rarely-seen faces dotted Batten was making sure fans didn’t inherent truthfulness brought out enjoy the competition. atmosphere, and although at times around campus. During my time at encroach onto the pitch. For a guy by the event itself. It was the scale of the event the total score seemed irrelevant in Nouse, the two most elusive fig- who surely must have Sundays off, Lancaster also had their part that amazed me. The level of comparison to the specific clashes ures to track down, or interview, or was this proof that security is his to play in the weekend, and organisation required must have taking place all over campus, Tom even have a photograph of, have passion rather than his job? although I wasn’t present at any of been incredible, yet apart from the Moore’s delight at lifting the been the Vice-Chancellor, Brian Considering they are two the evening events, I had some poor case of the Lancastrian com- Carter-James trophy on Sunday Cantor, and head of Security, Ken campus notables that have both great chats with them. petitor being taken to hospital afternoon unified the efforts of Batten. received their share of bad press, it All in all the weekend seemed during the Karate due to an each individual club taking part. Yet on the sidelines of the did make me think whether having like a great success, even if you absence of medical assistance, The attraction of the Roses Men’s Football 1sts, there they a more visible presence on campus don’t actually care about the sport- there appeared to be barely a weekend should not really have both were. Cantor was enjoying a would both boost their popularity ing results. You never know, Roses glitch. come as a surprise to me, as testi- game of croquet with Tom Moore and, more importantly, help to may actually tempt me back to this Each match I attended fied by the amount of returning and the Lancaster VC, whilst Ken allay York students’ fears that the place once I leave. Men’s win as women fall in mixed day for York

TENNIS singles match 1-6, 6-3, 6- Lancaster winning 8-5. Taylor's agility bringing maintain control through 4 in a nail-biting finish Both teams had very the score to 6-3 to cross-court rallies, thus By Anjli Raval after 6 match points. strong players, in particu- Lancaster. losing the game, however SPORTSCORRESPONDENT Downey, the captain, lar Cockbill and York's Cockbill con- still sustaining a lead of 6- praised his team mate's Reuecher, whose ground vincingly kept hold of her 5, which then quickly YORK DEFEATED performance, saying that strokes and serves were serve, with Lancaster's became 7-5. Lancaster in both the it was well deserved. powerful point winners. Taylor unable to hit back, The last game saw Mixed and Men’s tennis The Women's 1sts York began well, swiftly allowing York to secure Lancaster at their best matches but lost heavily in team did not perform as winning the first set. one game, making the with Reuecher winning the Women’s to complete a well. With all three Reuecher's unbelievable score 6-4. Lancaster's her service game, ulti- day of mixed fortunes. Doubles pairs losing their power did not seem to Taylor had her serve bro- mately bringing the score York dominated the matches, it made the concern Cockbill whose ken despite the efforts to to 8-5. mixed doubles matches Lancaster ning 8-7 in their doubles overall Doubles and athleticism, and topspin, winning 4-2 overall. There team. and singles matches, gain- Singles score to 11-4 to worked to her advantage Nouse -Roses 2007 team were fantastic perform- Photo: ing four points. The 6 Lancaster. and resulted in the SPORTS EDITOR: DEPUTYSPORTS EDITOR: ances from Willis and Men's Singles matches However, the most Lancaster team over-hit- Rob Banks Daniel Whitehead Criss Noice Cockbill, as well as brought a variety of scores, exciting match was ting at times, losing cru- SUPPLEMENTEDITOR: PHOTOEDITOR: Downey and Taylor. Both with 3 wins and 3 losses. between both teams' 1st cial points. Toby Green Georgi Mabee teams won in straight sets: There were notable pairs, consisting of York's Lancaster slowly WEBEDITOR PODCASTEDITOR: 6-1, 6-2 and 6-1, 6-1 performances from Lauren Cockbill and Lisa began to win games back, Emma Gawen Niamh Walsh respectively. Schofield who won in Blair against Lancaster's with Reuecher's intimi- WEBCOORDINATORS: SPECIALTHANKS: York's Men's 1sts were straight sets 7-6, 6-3, and Isabelle Reuecher and dating backhands and Jennifer O’Mahony Tom Moore and narrowly victorious, win- from Hynes who won his Louise Taylor, with slices combined with Venetia Rainey Dave Greenshields 08.05.07 M12 Fashion 08/05/07 To buy or not to buy: the real fashion victims

on false charges. make you look 100% like an idiot), I’m A clean conscience and tight student budget You may think this is not represen- not convinced that this is yet the answer. tative of all high-street chains. However, In theory, fair trade fashion is the obvi- the credentials of the decidedly more ous winner; organically and ethically are not easy bedfellows in the fashion world. upmarket retailers such as Topshop, produced clothing guaranteed to ensure Dorothy Perkins, Burton and Miss fairer conditions for factory workers. In Steph Dyson considers some alternatives to Selfridge (all of which are part of the practice, many consumers are unwilling Arcadia Group) are not in anyway more to pay the expensive prices demanded reassuring. LBL’s report ‘Let’s Clean Up by these brands. Internet companies the dubious ethics of high-street shopping Fashion’ criticised the Arcadia Group such as People Tree, Enamore Ltd, and for its complacency with regard to Bourgeois Boheme offer collections of changes to prevent worker exploitation. beautifully finished organic and fair The biggest high-street retailer not to trade clothes, but with basic cotton day- have joined the ETI, it recently forced dresses retailing above £100, to the stu- suppliers to cut prices by 1%, a move dent population, their appeal begins to igh-street fashion is notori- which will reduce wages and their work- diminish. ously lacking in ethics and ers’ standards of living even further. There are a few alternatives which morals. Most of us are aware Like supermarket slave-drivers ASDA perhaps are more realistic. Although we Hof this, but few are active in and Tesco, they merely apply their sup- might quite like the fact that clothing boycotting the worst offenders or cam- plying country’s legal minimum wage, a has never before been so cheap, it is nec- paigning to prevent worker exploitation. worrying fact seeing as multinational essary for consumers to recognise that You might feel a twinge of guilt when companies can pressurise governments these rock-bottom prices are unsustain- you’re rifling through the bargain rails to lower national wages in return for the able and based on exploitation and mal- of Primark, ASDA and H&M, but, at company’s continual use of their facto- treatment of workers, even if they are these prices, who cares? ries and the subsequent money that this thousands of miles away. By adapting Well, campaigning groups such as feeds back into the country. our shopping to exclude the most uneth- War on Want and Labour Behind the On the surface, university students ical companies whilst opting for retail- Label (LBL) certainly do and both have look like they want to take a stand on ers who have proven themselves to be released revealing reports indicating the ethical fashion. Here at York, for exam- seriously connecting with the ethical shocking state of working conditions in ple, fair trade fashion has followed ethi- clothing manufacturing. cal investment and boycotting Coca- The high street is to blame for the Cola onto the activists' agenda: recently ‘The conditions in phenomena of disposable clothing. Now YUSU passed a Sweatshops and Ethical that ranges are changed every few Merchandise motion, demanding production factories months, cheap and cheerful copies of University clothing be bought from fair the hottest catwalk trends are produced trade companies. The York Union Code are not as cheerful quickly, worn a couple of times and then also encourages YUSU to “purchase fair substituted for an equally inexpensive trade products where possible”. as the clothing that replacement. But by what means are The trouble, it seems, is that stu- suppliers able to speed production to dents are notorious for hunting out a they manufacture’ this rate, whilst maintaining low costs? bargain, whether it's a 15p can of Tesco It doesn’t take a genius to realise the Value Beans or a £3 H&M T-shirt. As debate and instigating concrete conditions in these production factories Lucy Ford, a first-year campus fashion- changes, we can force companies to are not quite as cheerful as the clothing ista puts it: “I want to be ethical in my reconsider their suppliers and begin to that they manufacture. clothing choices, but on a student budg- improve conditions for their workers. According to a report issued by et, this just isn’t possible. If fair trade Although enforcing these changes will charity War on Want in December clothing was less expensive, then I’d cer- eventually result in price increases for 2006, workers in Bangladesh regularly tainly choose that over anything else, us, the consumers, surely a couple of work 80 hours a week for a mere 5p an but it isn’t, and frankly I can’t afford it.” pounds extra on this side of the globe hour. The investigation, ‘Fashion Many other students seem to feel are worth proper living conditions on Victims’, examined the working condi- the same way, declaring that ‘ethical’ the other? tions in six Bangladeshi factories in the clothing, such as fair trade brands or Some people view campaigns and capital Dhaka which employ over 5000 vintage items, are too expensive for their boycotting companies as futile and hav- workers – mostly women – and produce decidedly small budgets. Some of those I ing intangible results, yet the media clothing for British companies Primark, questioned also felt that the plight of the furore regarding GAP’s ethical practice Tesco and ASDA. Although all are mem- exploited workers seemed almost too during the past few years has been bers of the Ethical Trading Initiative disconnected from our standards of liv- proven to have instigated positive (ETI), an alliance of companies which ing to be important to them. This might change. In LBL’s survey, GAP was dis- promotes ethical consumerism and help explain why a survey by TNS covered to be the most ethically minded states that “living wages [must be] Worldpanel Fashion showed that only of all the retailers researched, described paid”, research discovered that starting 42% of under-25s take any notice of as having taken “significant steps… to wages were around £8 a month in ethical issues when it comes to what resolve the systematic abuses of work- Bangladesh, around a third of the £22 a they wear. ers’ rights”. Therefore, as a consumer, month required. Workers are also pre- In light of this, are there really any prove that you won’t accept exploitation vented from exercising another part of viable options to the ethical debate for of workers’ rights; buy from companies the ETI Base Code which promotes the individual? Like the organic and fair such as Gap, Next and Marks and “freedom of association and the right to trade food explosion gripping our super- Spencer who are proven to be making collective bargaining”. LBL discovered markets, there is more emphasis now on improvements to their ethical practice, that, in another of ASDA’s Bangladesh extending this into fashion, with numer- whilst avoiding the most unethical com- factories, “if anyone tries to organise ous new fair trade companies emerging panies, such as ASDA and the Arcadia workers and form a union, he or she with an eye on ethics, not profits. Group, all of whom are concerned with would be handed over to the police”. In Although they’ve moved a long way money, not morality. I’d rather pay that 2004, 22 workers at a factory who from the downright dodgy charity cata- little bit extra for a clearer conscience demanded their legal overtime pay were logue animal jumpers made from 100% and the knowledge that efforts are being allegedly beaten, fired and imprisoned organic products (and guaranteed to made towards fair trade. 08/05/07 Film M13 The makings of a media massacre

Has the media’s obsession with blood and gore really bred a generation of savage delinquents? Jenny O’Mahony asks whether violence is the new pornography

ast month, the new souped-up features, Rodriguez’s Planet Terror and are artists, not politicians or teachers. Left: Tarantino’s what they are: fantasy. But what of the hyper-violent film from Tarantino’s Death Proof, neither for the Some would argue that it is their duty Death Proof; minority in society who cannot distin- Tarantino and Rodriguez faint-hearted. The garish poster plas- to push the boundaries of what is Right: guish between fantasy and reality? The LGrindhouse was released in tered on billboards around the nation acceptable, and our duty as the con- Rodriguez’s majority of people garner a particular America. According to The New York depicts Rodriguez’s heroine Cherry, sumer or audience to discern what we cathartic pleasure from watching a Post’s review: "In one scene, a cute, played by Rose McGowan, with a semi- should and shouldn’t watch. Planet Terror film, treating it as an escape of sorts. topless girl is roughly tied down on a automatic machine gun where the bot- Particularly as in America the film has Whether you abhor directors such as table by evil female Nazi experimenters tom half of her left leg should be. While Tarantino and Rodriguez as tasteless, who begin draining her blood and, as critics have lauded this new cinematic or congratulate them for facing soci- she screams in agony, they brand her adventure, the public have sent out a ‘They are artists, not teachers ety’s perverse obsession with blood and like livestock with a coal-hot steel clear message by staying at home. The gore head-on is, in a sense, beside the swastika." This was just one of the film bombed in its first week, and tak- or politicians. It is their duty to point. The question is, are the people many spoof trailers. ings have dropped by 65% since then. who take such images to heart already We are increasingly confronted However, whether it was the violence push the boundaries of what is beyond our help? It is easy to make the with the argument that the saturation that put people off remains to be seen; media a scapegoat for the deeds of the of violence on our television screens, especially considering the massive suc- considered acceptable’ psychopaths of our society; it is alto- cinemas and computer games has bred cess of ‘torture-porn’ films such as Saw gether much harder to examine our a generation of violent delinquents who and Hostel. been rated ‘R’, meaning that any child own actions, and our role in what is see nothing but economic gain, or Should film directors be held can see the film, so long as they are shown to us day to day. Maybe such social notoriety, in harming or even accountable for injecting our society accompanied by someone over 21. The people will always seek to cause harm, killing. Take, for example, the most with such unashamedly unadulterated film’s release in the UK has been post- leaving us with little option but to try recent gun massacre in the USA. The violence? Grindhouse’s website con- poned indefinitely. and understand them in order to limit manner in which the 32 killings were tains lengthy interviews with its two Films, as a whole, are seen for the damage they could inflict. carried out was thought to be inspired directors, and it is immediately clear in part by the violent South Korean that they do not concern themselves Other films that have stoked the fires of controversy film Oldboy. Similarly, the Columbine with notions of social responsibility. Oldboy A Clockwork Orange The Passion of the Christ High School killers re-enacted scenes They look ridiculously pleased with from two other films: The Matrix and themselves at all times, smiling and This 2003 South Korean gore- The 1971 adaptation of Mel Gibson’s interpretation of The Basketball Diaries. The recent nodding as Rodriguez gleefully asserts fest, directed by Park Chang- Anthony Burgess’s novel was the events surrounding Christ’s tragedy at Virginia Tech has led many that he had to “melt anything good” out Wook, was praised by withdrawn from UK distribu- crucifixion drew accusations of to ask if the media was responsible, just of his version of a grindhouse film; a Tarantino. It tells the story of a tion by director Stanley anti-semitism, deviation from as Cho Seung-Hui’s taunts of “You did sleazy ‘70s genre that the two have man who is unexplainedly Kubrick after being linked to a the New Testament and exces- this to me” begin to fade from our ears. shrewdly capitalised on for a wider imprisoned for 15 years and his series of crimes, including a sive violence. None of these Grindhouse is two films tacked audience. But one must ask: why attempts to discover the rea- rape during which the attackers prevented it from being nomi- together to imitate double bill B-movie should they care about society? They sons behind his ordeal. sang ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. nated for three Oscars. M14 Agony Uncle 08/05/07 UncleMatthew He would care, but he just doesn’t want to... ‘I think you dismiss your girlfriend too readily: who is to say what a pair of boots, tight-fitting tank-top and strategic (if expensive) plastic surgery might achieve?’

Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew,

I am doing something which I think might be I think I love Angelina Jolie more than I love my I can't stop myself being vocally racist, sexist and wrong, and I need your help. I am a fresher and I girlfriend. I know it sounds strange, but I think offensively right-wing. This sort of thing is social have recently become involved with a much older she understands me better. The worst of it is that suicide at a place like York, but I just can’t help it. woman. She is my manager at work and, although my girlfriend has cottoned on and has confiscated I recently posted on a public website that single to me she is very beautiful, I am told by my friends all of my Tomb Raider games, and my copy of Mr mothers shouldn't be at university because they that she looks every bit her age (which is 53). I and Mrs Smith. She asked me outright if it was should have 'kept their legs shut' in the first place, know it seems an inappropriate age gap, and my true and I couldn't deny it. I can't live without told a dark-skinned student that he probably only friends say they don't understand what I see in Angelina, but I am worried that if I don't over- got into university on the quota system and ver- her, but my mother left me when I was only four come my obsession, I will lose my actual girlfriend bally abused a man in the pub for being years old, so I find myself relishing the attentions who, though decidedly inferior, is at least more Argentinian (when he turned out in fact to be of an older woman. My friends say I am sick, but available to me in the flesh at present. What French). My political views are having a terribly I don't know how to stop. What should I do? should I do? adverse effect on my social life. What should I do?

Lovesick, Vanbrugh Torn, Halifax Misunderstood, Derwent

Dear Lovesick, Dear Torn, Dear Misunderstood,

In matters of the heart, it really should not matter what your It seems like your infatuation with Angelina is in danger of Fitting in is never easy, especially for those like you who seem friends think. What is important is what you and your part- breaking up your existing relationship. You need to do to have a lot to say. Rather than compromise your views, why ner get out of the relationship. You say she is your manager: something drastic now, or things may end up get- not try and find some friends who feel the same as you? You presumably therefore she earns a salary well in advance of ting hopelessly out of hand. I think you dis- will discover that they are not difficult to seek out. For exam- your own, owns a comfortable (and hopefully unmortgaged) miss your girlfriend too readily: who is to ple, there is a group of people who have been repeatedly house and will shortly be enjoying a healthy pension. say what a pair of boots, tight-fitting tank- posting leaflets through my door. They seem to be just as Statistically speaking, it should only be another 30 years or so top, shorts and strategic (if expensive) worried about immigrants and Britishness as you are (in before all that could be yours. I advise you to stay the course, plastic surgery might achieve? fact, they even decorated the letter with some lovely Union and perhaps make a stronger commitment to each other, Jacks). They must be lonely too, as they are continually ask- preferably of a legally binding sort. In couplings across the Yours pixellatedly, ing for “my support”. I'm sure they would love to welcome a generational gap, I find that perseverance is its own reward. Uncle Matthew new friend of your intelligence and wit.

Yours prenuptially, Yours dictatorially, Uncle Matthew Uncle Matthew www.NOUSE.co.uk Check out the improved Nouse website, with: Podcasts - Relive the action with the Roses podcast, plus news, Muse and the all-new music podcasts. Debate - Let us know what you think about the stories we run and the issues we cover. Pictures - All the pictures from all the events over Roses weekend, plus many more. Nouse meeting tonight: Come along to our meeting at 6.30pm tonight in W/307 to discuss this edition, meet the editorial team and get involved in the next edition of Nouse. 08/05/07 Satire M15 AndreasMasoura Immigrants and Hugh Hefner: the perils this University faces

ally adept and open-minded Vision edi- between an overseas student and an the toilet roll, The Daily Vision’s high- Immigration shambles torial team for one moment considered Albanian on the back of a lorry. As for quality Roses supplement littered cam- this? Even if they had decided to stay, I Britain being on the receiving end of pus lavatories all weekend. However, in I’ve just spotted an advert for The Daily cannot see an incentive to drop out of exploitation, working on the planta- future could it be made clear that any- Vision’s forthcoming recruitment drive. university in order to become a low- tions was all good fun, wasn’t it? thing produced by Vision is indeed by After promptly jotting down the details paid and probably exploited illegal them when coinciding with our publi- in my ethically produced diary (only worker. If these students were wealthy League tables vs Bunnies cation weekend? It was tiresome to two exploited labourers died in the enough to come to university in the first repeatedly explain to people that the Cambodian factory, well below aver- place, then I’m sure they could resist the York has dropped down the university embarrassment of a handout was noth- age), I realised it was a waste of time. I lure of a £2 an hour job as a kitchen league tables. Maybe this is because of ing to do with Nouse. hadn’t renewed my York visa, a require- scrubber in Camberwell. Ergo there is the immigrants, or maybe it is due to ment for those of Mediterranean no incentive for the rational ‘immigrant the lack of funds and general misman- Supermarket sweep descent who emigrate from London to bastard, stop taking our jobs’ type to agement of the Heslington East expan- the North. Some would even say I had disappear in the UK without a visa. I sion which appears to be taking place at Tesco’s most notorious employee slipped through the system, brutally apologise for the patronising explana- the expense of the existent University. returned to York this weekend. Beep. exploiting those around me in order to tion. It is merely for the benefit of According to David Garner, the He was thrown out of Roses D for clinch that dream job in Efe’s. Changing Vision’s editorial team. I’m sure they University Press Officer, budgets are breaking a window. Beep. Where’s the burger grease these days is a mean well what we do. Fantastic. On the plus side, bar code on this banana? Call the super- challenging task really but the University might become slightly visor. Unfortunately, this was the high- requiring half a there is a more attractive. This has lead to light of Roses carnage, along with a degree. slight differ- Playboy cancelling its talent-finding karate match that ended with someone Disproportionate ence visit to York. Or perhaps it was because hurting themselves. and inflated coverage the YUSU exec, mainly comprising of of a handful of foreign narrow-minded idealists firmly rooted In other news... students, 43 over within the York bubble, decided that three years, who women would be exploited. From my Campus Ken is leaving. This signifies apparently disap- limited experience of Playboy the end of York’s unstylish yet manly peared, clutching Bunnies, I have witnessed scores of look, paving the way for the Tony & Guy their student visas, students dress up in bunny ears brigade complete with hair straighten- has defined Vision’s given the slightest excuse. Some ers. Also, Baroness Thornton’s visit to nationalist stance. As York students are even resorting York was abruptly interrupted when she for the immigrants, to stripping for cash. Whether was violated by a goose. Apparently she the figure translates as welfare likes it or not, sleaze and enjoyed it so much that her visits are 43 out of 10 000 stu- filth are a way of life. now weekly. Lastly, the University failed dents over three years which is to register all students for the local elec- under 1%. Perhaps these stu- Upping the ante tions, including several Vision editors. dents simply left university Their votes could have solidified the and went home because they could- Much like the wet wipe that BNP’s position in the area, cleansing n’t stand the rain. Have none of the usu- supplements York of any impurities.

FILLING IN THE GAPS Nicky Woolf n unusual air of excitement pervad- made them look like an identity parade Redwatch informants. ed the leafy campus of the Greg for a sex crime? Redwatch! You’d ADyke Career Memorial Goose Anyway. We won. Hooray! Enough. A honestly think unhinged Sanctuary this weekend. It could have win at the manly sporting event whose nationalist nutters would have been the new-born hatchlings that are name is suspiciously close to a girly flower found better things to do than waddling around campus with that air of serves only to distract us from the real hang around a university untouchability reserved for the sickeningly issues. And the picture is grim. The campus populated by mild cute. It could have been the proud goose- University is taking our money to pay for centre-leftist alcoholics, parents, who are willing to go as far as Heslington East (of course they are. Don’t eccentric academics, psy- butchering Baronesses to protect their ail- believe the lies.), and I have Brian Cantor’s chopathic geese and a ing young ones. It also could have been a word (off the record, of course) that if that hockey team who drink small sports tournament named after a pesky public enquiry doesn’t allow the wine through fish heads large war that we hosted this weekend plans to go ahead, his Plan B is to take any prowling for victims. that brought with it joy, tears, victory, remaining money the University has left Apparently not. defeat and, most importantly of all, ban- and live out the rest of his years in hiding Come on, guys! There ter. in Mexico City. If there is even enough are still council seats Tensions between York and Lancaster money left to do that. If not, his Plan C is around without a failed BNP Universities came awkwardly to a head to open up a modest sweet shop in candidate. Sign your names when a drunk Langwith student grabbed Dudley, which will, of course, go bankrupt up! Everyone loves a failure. the head of a sleeping Lancastrian rugby after plans for a massive expansion, Unless you’re a BNP failure, in which player, thinking it was the famous Golden ‘Haribo East’, are refused permission by case everyone still thinks you’re a wanker. Duck (or to Goodricke students, Fit public enquiry. History is cyclic, don’t you Ian Dawson got fewer votes than Duck), sitting on a chubby pink rocky out- know. my mate’s flatmate, who only put crop. Did they really think that lurid hair As a result of all this, York campus his name forward as a joke. And made them look sexy? Did they really miss will be empty, haunted by the ghosts of half of those votes were probably the the fact that, when huddling in a pack, it old YUSU sabbatical officers and geese anyway. M16 Music 08/05/07 MusicReviews

glory. But, until the future does get here, or SINGLES BAND: NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB until Pony Club are handed the oracular VENUE: LEEDS COCKPIT funds they deserve, we will have to remain content with what we have. REVIEWS REVIEW: ALICE GREGSON And what we have is cooler than Marc DATE: 30/05/07 Jacobs's new line of cocaine. 'The Bomb', BAND: MARILYN MANSON 'Descend','Get Dancey' and 'Ice Cream’ are all ✪✪✪✪✫ products of a band riding, leading and gener- SINGLE: HEART-SHAPED GLASSES ating the most cutting edge movement in On May 30, when New Young Pony Club play music. A movement that downs glow sticks The inquisitive little blonde takes a darker the Leeds Cockpit, Tahita Bulmer (NME’s for breakfast, runs onto stage playing guitars twist down the rabbit hole in the first single ‘Priestess of New Rave’) and her motley musi- made of flashing lasers and finally hits the from Manson’s Alice in Wonderland-inspired cal crew of fluro, indie, electro-popsters, will sack at eight in the morning only to do the album, Eat me, Drink me. However, a pre- allow her screaming audience a glimpse of same thing again that night. warning for those who turn Marilyn-ward for the future. Were it up to her, Tahita would But let's not jump ahead of ourselves. your surreptitious fix of sadism and salacious show them fantasy worlds with battling These kids haven't always been cool. Just like debauchery - the only excruciation the track synths, epic songs cast into shadow by giant many of their fans, Pony Club are self-pro- offers is in its torturing monotony. chess pieces, band members arriving on fessed geeks. Happy to relax with Manga Unfortunately, Manson's attempts at melody monochrome ponies and disintegrating tech- rather than bending over backwards to fol- have neutered the shock value, producing a no lashed around the stage by get-up-and- low the music industry’s every glib stylistic comparitvely saccharine tea party of a record. dance beats. twitch, Pony Club are cutting their own path But, alas, she can't. Pony Club's debut (and hair) through the jungle of superficiali- BAND: ENRIQUE IGLESIAS album Fantastic Playroom isn’t out until June ty to a clearing of inimitable hipness. and with a fanbase best described as being However, until Tahita and her acolytes SINGLE: DO YOU KNOW closer to 'hardcore' than 'global', their budget of geek-funk chic can further share these is a tad too limited to fully enact their bubbling nuggets of sound destiny with the Who said that pre-packaged pop couldn’t be prophetic visions. The world will have to wait rest of us on Fantastic Playroom, the only innovative? Featuring nothing less than a for the future to arrive in all its neo-punk future date worth looking into is May 30. Ping-Pong ball as percussion, the comeback single from Anna Kournikova’s favourite Latino crooner is pushing boudaries. Well, one boundary; the rest of the track plays it fairly safe with pianos, strings and silky, emotive vocals. With the efforts of Timbaland and Xenomania, pop music has moved on in the three years since Enrique’s last release. Alas, aside from the Ping-Pong, he doesn’t seem to have caught on. BAND: MAROON 5 SINGLE: MAKES ME WONDER

The 2005 Grammy's Best New Artist have reached the zenith of their musical journey and evolved into their grossly popular prede- cessors: The Backstreet Boys. Described by Adam Levine himself as “aggressive, upbeat BAND: BOB DYLAN BAND: GROOVE ARMADA BAND: KINGS OF LEON and pounding”, it does indeed make one pon- der whether all Maroon's banging tunes have VENUE:WEMBLEY STADIUM ALBUM: SOUNDBOY ROCK VENUE: DONCASTER DOME enforced premature deafness on the poor REVIEW: ROBIN SEATON REVIEW: BEN RACKSTRAW REVIEW: STEVEN WILLIAMS guy. Expect to hear this dance-pop gem on a Reflex revolving dance floor near you. DATE: 15/04/07 DATE: 07/05/07 DATE: 26/04/07 ✪✪✫✫✫ ✪✪✪✪✫ ✪✪✪✪✫ BAND: GWEN STEFANI SINGLE: 4 IN THE MORNING Despite its recent refurbishment, Wembley How do you successfully follow the release of Having recently bucked the trend for dimin- Arena manages to retain slightly less in the a Best Of..., so often the death-knell of a ishing returns with the five-star Because of A rare ballad from the scarlet-lipped hipster way of atmosphere than my local shopping career? Groove Armada show it can be done the Times, the Kings return to the country as she goes back to basics, sharing the song- centre. Not only that, but the staff apeared to with a slick sonic evolution, generating quite which first embraced them, bringing along writing with No Doubt member Tony Kanal. be vigorously enforcing strict new guidelines possibly the sound of the summer. songs good enough to make you forget you’re Regarding the title and Gwennie’s new on the maximum levels of fun per punter: It seems like the disappointing Love Box in Doncaster - almost. Hitting puberty in yummy-mummy status, could little "No running allowed!" Dylan’s appearance was a chrysalis for the duo's style. The con- reverse, they’ve certainly matured since the Kingston be the new sonic influence in pop’s was a welcome distraction - although the trived thumpy beats and trance elements of days of beards and Zoë Ball endorsements. Von Trapp family? Oh, the sacrifices of hyperactive warm-up message: "Voice of a the predecessor sound much more natural in Now the sons of a preacher man brim with motherhood. Not one to rock the dancefloor generation! Poet of the ‘60s counterculture!" this album, while the terrible rock posings of well-deserved confidence as they enter stage quite like ‘The Sweet Escape’, although a seemed a little superfluous. tracks like ‘Madder’ have thankfully been right, a far different animal from their some- Thin White Duke remix may sort that right Dylan certainly didn't betray any excite- eclipsed by the reggae and dancehall influ- what shambolic beginnings. out. ment at returning to the most soulless venue ences that lent ‘Superstylin' such a swagger- It’s testament to the strength of the Singles this week were reviewed by Sara this side of the British Atheist Society's ing groove. Put to use most effectively in the songs that despite minimal crowd interac- Sayeed and Ben Rackstraw AGM. After playing guitar for the first cou- the title track and the lead single ‘Get Down’, tion from the Kings, all eyes in the room are ple of numbers, he swiftly shifted to his key- these downright funky tunes settle happily unflinchingly transfixed for the full 90 min- board and barely moved for the next 90 min- amongst the progressive house that makes up utes. The set exudes the impact of a greatest Nouse Music utes. 'Nettie Moore' and a stomping 'Blind the rest of the album. hits collection - quite the feat considering Willie McTell' stood out, but the rest of the Almost all of the tracks scream out the majority of the songs are pulled from the Podcast set lacked inspiration, variety and drive. The "dance anthem" like Dave Pearce after one new album. Nathan’s thunderous drumming good humour and dry wit Dylan has recent- too many cheeky Vimtos; this is the music rejuvinates older songs like ‘Molly’s Like what you see here? ly shown on his Theme Time Radio Hour you need after a day’s sunbathing to take your Chambers’, which is transformed from Check out the new show were disappointingly absent and with- evening to the sweaty hands-in-the-air con- generic rock into a swaggering and altogeth- Podcast. Featuring a out Dylan providing a lead, his band seemed clusion it needs. er sexier beast. chat with Little Man unwilling to do anything too exciting. Even so, Groove’s downtempo past isn’t A wet dream for demographically mind- Tate, clips of upcoming Bob Dylan is probably the sole artist to completely forgotten - after the poptastic, ed record companies, the Kings’ appeal singles and campus rival Aphex Twin for lack of interaction with destined-for-the-chart, ex-Sugababes-featur- extends from tweenie emos to middle-aged, band Magic P and the his audience - most of whom would have had ing ‘Song 4 Mutya’, the album finally winds married couples. But as the set finishes, all Innuendoes. a better time staying at home and turning up down with a couple of slices of relaxed chill- unite in open-mouthed rapture at Caleb’s Live 1975: The Rolling Thunder Revue. out that complete a fantastic comeback. charateristically sonorous squawking. www.nouse.co.uk 08/05/07 Arts M17 ArtsReviews

BOOK: BLACK SWAN GREEN Amy Scott visits the Drama Barn AUTHOR: DAVID MITCHELL PUBLISHER: SCEPTRE for an ample serving of sex, lies PRICE: £7.99 REVIEW: RACHEL HOPKINS and a poisoned chalice ✪✪✪✪✩ ith a new line-up at Brazier’s scheming Livia, and a the Drama Barn bustling and biddyish Rebecca The fourth novel from two-time Booker about to begin at the Chalk in the role of Leantio’s Prize finalist David Mitchell, Black Wweekend, this term’s mother. Swan Green promised to be a captivat- directors and performers have a Although some individual ing read; a typical ‘coming-of-age’ novel lot to live up to after the climax of performances shone , the real suc- set in 1982 against the backdrop of the the Spring Term’s season; cesses of this production came in Falklands War. Matthew Lacey’s production of the group scenes, orchestrated by Perhaps autobiographically, Women Beware Women. Thomas Lacey with an uncanny attention Mitchell takes a frank look at early ado- Middleton’s classic tells the story to detail. Each performer lescence characterised in a young boy of a young and innocent bride, remained fully in-role with idio- named Jason Taylor. He deals with the Bianca (Niamh Walsh), corrupted syncratic direction while out of trials and tribulations faced by every by the machinations of the sinister the focus of the scene. This was a Women Beware Women cast Niamh Walsh and Tom Powis teenage boy: first kisses, bullies and courtiers and aristocrats that sur- refreshing contrast to the usual portrays her as powerless in the side the seduction sequence. playground hierarchies. round her new home. tactic of vague ‘crowd-scene’ small face of the Duke’s authority – thus Middleton’s play is by no means In addition to the daily strife of a A veritable orgy of lust, vio- talk, which added a richness and mirroring the power relationships clear-cut, or there would be no typical 13-year-old, Jason hoards two lence and deceit, Women Beware depth to the scenes that, handled throughout the play. Lacey’s pro- critical debate on the issue. Lacey secrets. One is his irrepressible love of Women was surely student drama badly, would simply have become duction embraced the more had every right to cast Bianca as a poetry, the other a daily battle with his at its very best. Costume designers distracting. woman-friendly view but perhaps victim, and in fact would have lit- biggest nemesis – his stammer, which Laura Archer, Anna Hogan and The centre-piece of the took this stance too far. The dia- tle motivation to do anything else he aptly names his "hangman". His des- Helen Stay deserve a review of evening, and the pivot of the logue of coercion between Allen in this day and age. But to simply peration to hide it from his classmates their own for their beautiful and events of the play, was the rape of and Walsh was garbled and overshadow the confusion sur- sees Jason frustrated and bitter, with varied classical designs. There Bianca by the Duke of Florence incomprehensible due to the vio- rounding the Duke’s actions is to only one place he feels he can truly be were many high quality perform- (Dominic Allen). However, this is lence that encompassed it, and limit the scope of the play, and himself: in poetry. ances. Jamie Wilkes in particular, not a Shakespearean act of vio- meant that the audience missed force an interpretation on an Though at times difficult to read playing the role of Bianca’s cuck- lence or revenge, but the Duke’s many important statements by the audience that should be trusted to with a confusing narrative structure, olded husband Leantio, engaged attempt to win Bianca as his own. Duke about Bianca’s future securi- make up its own mind. Overall, once you get your head round it this is a the audience from first to last with Furthermore, Middleton’s Bianca, ty as his mistress. This left Women Beware Women demon- beautiful story filled with laughter and his, in turn, witty and baffled per- once raped, wholeheartedly Bianca’s sudden turn against her strated the increasingly high level tragedy. Familiar to all, this book is an formance. Walsh made a strong embraces a life with her attacker. husband following the rape unex- of quality in the University’s the- apt reminder of childhood trauma and Bianca and, although her diction Indeed, most (male) critics of the plained and confusing. atrical productions and, after shows a boy desperate to be accepted was at times unclear, handled the play refer to the incident as seduc- The rape itself was well other publications having printed yet with a fierce determination to make development from innocent naïf tion rather than rape. Any femi- directed and successfully por- rather damning statements about his own way in the world. to corrupt seductress with the flair nist reading of the play of course trayed its horrific nature, but its facilities, really demonstrated the role deserves. Other notable rejects the idea of Bianca’s com- there was no need for this to how the Barn can be used to a CLASSIC BOOK REVIEW performances included Rebekah plicity in the incident, and instead replace rather than stand along- near-professional level. BOOK:THE SEA,THE SEA AUTHOR: IRIS MURDOCH PUBLISHER:VINTAGE WHAT’SON PRICE: £7.99 DRAMA BARN YORK THEATRE ROYAL REVIEW: CHLOE ALEXANDER Lear's Daughters - Directed by Rasheeda The Boyfriend ✪✪✪✪✩ Week 3 Nalumoso, produced by Amy Scott. York Musical Theatre Company May 9-19 Purchased on my first day of the univer- The Cut - Co-directed, co-produced by Sophie Tickets £3.50-£17.50 sity year, this book felt suitably grand 4 Davies and Cheryl Gallacher. and 'studenty'. It encompasses love, Subletting - Directed by Jethro Compton, pro- aging, self-discovery and loathing, lone- 5 duced by Alice Boagey. The York Realist liness and desire - pretty good going. It Journey's End - Directed by Ellie Groom, pro- York Settlement Players is the diary of Charles Arrowby, just 6 duced by Beth Underdown. May 9 - 19 retired to the coast after a seemingly Trainspotting - Co-directed, co-produced by Tickets £10 glamorous life in the theatre, who 7 Alex Wright and Simon Maeder. indulges in reflection and playing The Tartuffe - Directed by Jamie Wilkes, pro- KINGS MANOR house. Later, strands of his life creep 8 duced by Raphael Gindre. Spring Show back to reclaim his attention. Daisy pulls it off/The Children's Hour - I was delighted with the speed at Paintings by Heather Niven and Directed by Rebekah Brazier, produced by which disasters and passions accumu- 9 Rosalind Walker lated. The descriptions are brilliantly James Hirst. Until May 18. sharp. It felt very real, reaching towards an everyday beauty, with which my imagination could really get to grips. As SPOTLIGHTON Amy Scott a food fan, I particularly enjoyed the description of Charles' eclectic lunches. Open Drama Nights - Monday nights in the Drama Barn The sea increasingly reflects Open Drama Nights run every Monday in Wright’s Tapestry before it hits the boards at described as ‘a workshop in cocking up’. Charles's thoughts and feelings, even the Drama Barn and are available for any- the Edinburgh Fringe this summer. Every Open Drama Night is open to all dominating them. Characters from thing that wouldn’t suit the standard three- Last week’s Open Drama Night featured and entirely, 100% free for both participants Charles's past and present converge, night run. The summer season presents an a series of sketches and monologues from and audience. showing his choice of isolation to be a exciting variety of entertainment, all for the Shakespearean adaptations in conjunction sham. He is tied to them as they are to bargain price of absolutely nothing. with the Week 3 production of Lear’s Check out www.dramasoc.com for more him, an extremely compelling theme. It This term sees a wealth of new material Daughters. Other highlights include an info or email [email protected] was also a treat to be let in on the inter- from some of York's finest playwriting talent, interactive play and a ‘make your own or speak to ODN reps Will Seaward and nal conniving of an old man, seeing the including a new play by student Dominic adventure’ night, as well as a night dubbed Andy Birnie - it couldn't be easier to get way he manipulates the people in his Allen and the only York performance of Alex Thoughtless Comedy which is playfully involved! life. M18 Film 08/05/07 FilmReviews FILM:THE LIVES OF OTHERS Dreyman’s lead actress and lover, DAVIDCOATES Christa-Maria Sieland (Gedeck), DIRECTOR: FLORIAN HENCKEL who catches Wiesler’s eye? Or per- VON DONNERS- haps something between them, the MARCK kind of warmth he knows nothing about? He is assigned to a full sur- How far can STARRING: MARTINA GEDECK veillance of the couple’s apartment, artistic ULRICH MUHE not least because a party bigwig, a creepy fellow named Hempf, has license REVIEW: PAUL BECKER himself set his sights on Christa stretch? RUNTIME: 137 MIN and could stand to get rid of her boyfriend. Zach Snyder’s adaptation of the ✪✪✪✪✪ In this society you are expect- Frank Miller graphic novel 300 ed to share every last shred of your- concerns the heroism of 300 East Berlin, 1984. Socialism is alive self, your love and your loyalty at Spartan soldiers who held back the and well in the German the whim of your officials; and massive Persian army for three Democratic Republic. Gerd these latter, by appropriating the days. There is no doubt that Miller Wiesler (Mühe) is one of its chief lives of others, forsake the right to took great artistic license with the enforcers, a captain of the Stasi have one of their own. facts; that in itself is nothing (short for ‘State Security’), the min- Not Wiesler, though. He lis- unusual nor particularly important. istry whose objective is to see tens to Dreyman and Christa talk, It is his portrayal of the major play- everything, to know everything. He argue, make love, and, slowly, ers that betray the prejudice of his wears authority like a suit, staring unconsciously at first, starts to feed work. down the enemies of socialism in from their energy. And gives back, Spartan society was unique in 48-hour interrogations with the icy, by covering up for Dreyman when the ancient world for its egalitari- impersonal glare of the system he he anonymously publishes a sub- anism; women could own land, represents. He has a habit of not versive article in a West German vote, gain an education and enjoy blinking, on the job or off. He lives magazine. He even appropriates may at least do so in art. not write? How far do these people personal freedom and respect on a in a spare apartment in an anony- the writer’s creativity, filling his This film, incredibly, the debut need to bend to retain that essen- par with their male peers. The sole mous concrete building, wears a daily reports with the made-up plot of screenwriter-director von tial part of themselves? And what is female role in 300 falls to Gorgo grey anorak over his suit, gets his of a fiercely pro-communist play Donnersmarck, is a classic in the the man who listens to them if not (Lena Headey), whose participa- intimacy by the half-hour. Dreyman is allegedly writing. making. The skies are uniformly their audience, and, realising this, tion extends as far as servicing her One evening at the theatre, his With the pressure mounting, grey, the artistic folk may live in what does he owe them? husband, being raped by a senior eyes light up at the sight of George the drama moves towards its cruel houses littered with books and lit in The cast is uniformly excel- politician (Dominic West’s Theron) Dreyman (Sebastian Koch), a sus- climax; the final scene recalls golden lamplight, but there is nei- lent, drawing something and delivering the most hackneyed piciously unsuspicious playwright Chinatown in all its tragic glory. ther pretension nor stereotype in redeemable from even the lowliest pro-war speech since Rambo was for whom, as a colleague drily The film itself ends on a reconcilia- the simplicity and force of the cen- villain; not a false note is struck in still kicking about. Once her words remarks, “the GDR is the greatest tory note, with the idea that if good tral questions: what is an actress this incredibly rich film. In fail – and it is made clear that they country on earth.” Or is it rather deeds come to nothing in life, they who cannot act? A writer who can- German, with English subtitles. would never succeed – she shows Theron’s treachery by stabbing him in the groin, where he has helpfully concealed a bribe from the FILM: CURSE OF THE GOLDEN CLASSIC FILM:STAND BY ME Persians. Politicians, priests, anyone in a FLOWER DIRECTOR: ROB REINER role where words precede actions, DIRECTOR:YIMOU ZHANG STARRING:WILL WHEATON is a coward in Miller’s eyes. The ‘ephors’, portrayed as grotesque, STARRING: GONG LI RIVER PHOENIX deformed perverts in 300, were in CHOW YUN-FAT REVIEW: STEPH CREWES fact no more than elected citizens, REVIEW: JAMES PATTERSON who could not hold office for more RUNTIME: 89 MINS than 12 months and were con- RUNTIME: 114 MIN ✪✪✪✪✪ trolled by complex checks and bal- ances. Yet Miller (and, implicitly, ✪✪✪✪✩ Stand By Me (1986) is the quintes- Snyder) sees fit to insert corrupt, sential buddy movie. Set in 1959, black-hearted monks where they Yimou Zhang - director of Hero the film explores the trials and simply did not exist. and House of Flying Daggers, irre- tribulations of four young boys Miller seems similarly con- sistibly beautiful movies starring embarking on an adventure to find fused about the Persian forces, the brightest stars of Chinese cine- a dead body in the woods around which appear on screen as an amal- ma - knew he had a tough act to their small hometown. A writer gam of Oriental, African, and – follow. (Richard Dreyfuss) looks back on occasionally – Arabic cultures, led Set in the forbidden city in his childhood, recounting the char- by an androgynous deviant with a 10th-Century China, Curse of the stepson’s desires and her husband’s acters of Gordie (Wheaton), Chris preference for body piercing. Golden Flower recounts the efforts machinations, but unable to act (Phoenix), Teddy (Corey Feldman) mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a Everything about the Persians is of Empress Phoenix (Li) to keep upon either. and Verne (Jerry O’Connell). dog. What's Goofy...?” However, as debauched and deformed; the her household from self-destruct- For his part, Chow projects a Gordie is a shy, quiet, aspiring their weekend journey continues, monstrous executioner, the muti- ing in the days before the convincing blend of austerity and writer and the rock of the group, they learn more about each other lated inmates of Xerxes’ harem, Chrysanthemum Festival, a cele- malice as Emperor Ping, who suffering after his older brother’s than they anticipated. even the hunchback Ephialtes are bration of family unity. Her task is remains religiously adherent to the death. Chris is the oldest, from the The power of friendship is the all portrayed as distorted reflec- made somewhat difficult by her symbols of family and state without rough side of town. The stoic Teddy crux of the film, seen in a moving tions of the perfect simplicity of the discovery that the Emperor (Chow) concern for the reality of either. His and goofy Verne complete the scene between Gordie and Chris Spartans. is poisoning her. But this is only the actions bring about a startlingly group. around the campfire. Phoenix For perfect they are. And in start of her troubles, as unspoken brutal final act, more graphic than The film is beautiful, lit in per- evokes the bridge between child- Miller’s world, perfect means secrets return to the palace, threat- any of Zhang’s previous offerings, petual golden sunlight. Reiner’s hood innocence and painful experi- Anglo-Saxon, heterosexual, god- ening the stability of China’s ruling the emotional violence of life with- stunning long shots of the boys ence when confessing the reality of defying men. Snyder has since tried house. in the palace reflected in the merci- walking across fields and down being “one of those lowlife to distance himself from the work, The film is stunningly beauti- less slaughter without. train tracks presents a sense of Chambers kids”, shunned by town claiming that criticising the film ful, the impossible extravagance of This is a tragedy in the classi- endlessness and anticipation. The society. Stand By Me is a moving was “missing the point” and that it the palace brought almost blind- cal sense and the ending may seem four young actors challenge the film, a film you watch with your was “ninety per cent accurate.” To ingly to life by a director who con- somewhat unsatisfactory. However, film’s underlying melodrama with best friends, wrapped in longing for produce a piece where 300 white tinues to raise the bar for artistic it remains in keeping with the spir- convincing portrayals of friendship childhood innocence, when the men go to the Middle East to fight endeavour in cinema. His celebrat- it of the film, which favours the bound by loyalty and affection. only thing with meaning was an infidel army of the east would be ed fights are used sparingly but efforts of the characters to fight free Stand By Me holds the wistful friendship. As the writer realises, “I madness 20 years from now. But effectively, never encroaching on from sovereign tyranny and sup- innocence of childhood summer as never had any friends later on like this is madness, and this is blasphe- the plot. Li performs beautifully on pression, but recognises the futility the boys goof around and have the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, my. But this was not Sparta. the edge of madness, aware of her of fighting it on its own terms. inane conversations, “Mickey is a does anyone?” M19 Food and drink 08/05/07 Food&DrinkReviews agenda and the menu boasts offerings such as RESTAURANT: DOODLES ‘pitta pockets’ – pitta bread filled with chicken ADDRESS: DERWENT COLLEGE and various accoutrements - which, I was told by my fellow diner, were excellent. For vegetar- AVE. FOOD PRICE: £3 ians there is a coriander and chickpea burger. AVE. DRINK PRICE: £1.50 Although a little dry, it was certainly filling and REVIEW: HELEN CITRON tasty and the ‘skinny chips’ that accompanied it were cooked to perfection. However, as the sole ✪✪✪✪✩ veggie option on the menu, it may leave York’s vegetarians disgruntled. Doodles is working in conjunction with This term, the University of York welcomes a Rollover Hot Dogs – a company providing this new addition to its existent array of campus ever-popular snack in a healthy form. The restaurants. Doodles, marketed as a ‘Fast- company’s promotional material proclaims Food Bar’, has just opened in Derwent. that the hot dogs provide “‘the body with the Generic offerings such as burgers and right type of fuel to maintain better levels of chips are available but, I was assured by concentratio”. The frankfurters are reduced WHICH ICE Reena Quarton of the Catering salt and fat and are GM-free. The distinctive Communication Services, they are a far cry Rollover Hot Dog stand will be making an LOLLY? from the notoriously suspect offerings of appearance at future campus events such as Efe’s. The burgers are delicious. Unlike the Planet V. frozen meat used in other campus eateries, Given that, amongst the student popula- Summer is officially back. The sun is shining, these burgers are made on-site from fresh tion, fast food is typically the preserve of the sunglasses are on, flip flops are back in fash- beef mince and herbs. “We still feel they’re post-club drunkard, Doodles’s opening hours ion and the jingle of the traditional British under-seasoned, but we’re working on are a drawback. Hot food stops being served at ice cream van is once more becoming a improving them,” Quarton tells me, showing 2pm. However, for anyone looking for a cheap, familiar sound in the streets of York. At this an admirable dedication to campus catering. filling and healthy lunch, Doodles is the place time of year there is quite simply no better Healthy eating is certainly top of the to go. way to spend gaps between lectures than by indulging in a delicious ice lolly. Fruity or chocolatey? On a stick or in a tube? Walls or RESTAURANT: JADE GARDEN RESTAURANT: EL GAUCHO RESTAURANT:TUSCANY PIZZA Nestle? The choices are endless. It seems the ADDRESS:TOWER STREET ADDRESS:WALMGATE ADDRESS: CONEY STREET only way to choose is to let us at Nouse try them for you and we are only too happy to AVE. FOOD PRICE: £7 AVE. FOOD PRICE: £12 AVE. FOOD PRICE: £7 oblige. AVE. DRINK PRICE: £4 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £3.20 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £2 LOLLY:TWISTER REVIEW: STACEY GO REVIEW: SAM WHITTAKER REVIEW: HELEN CITRON PRICE: 70P ✪✪✪✪✪ ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✩✩

Bursting with the zingy and exotic flavours of pineapple, lemon and strawberry, this popu- lar spiralled lolly came into our shops in 1982 and has been at the top of our ice lolly list ever since. The combination of fruity flavours sounds unusual but they compliment each other surprisingly well. I was shocked to dis- cover that it contains a mere 58 calories, making it a pretty guilt-free summer treat. Fruity yet also creamy, Twisters never seem to disappoint and are just perfect for these beautifully sunny days. LOLLY: FRUIT PASTILLE PRICE: 60P This lolly should gain extra marks for having a high variety of flavours but after a few minutes you end up with not five but one flavour, which rather disappointingly is Unless you’re willing to consume worryingly After the horror that was El Piano I opted to Anyone looking for an exciting culinary lemon. Whoever made the decision to make sub-standard cuisine and risk food poison- try my hand - and my taste buds - at its polar experience should not place Tuscany Pizza at yellow the base colour of the lolly obviously ing, a reasonable Chinese restaurant in York opposite, El Gaucho, an Argentinian steak the top of their list. The food is inoffensive didn't do their market research. Everyone is hard to find. Having been greatly disap- house, after it was recommended to me by a and generously portioned but the restaurant knows that red and orange are the best pointed with the city’s oriental offerings in waiter at Strada. As I strolled in, I was met brings nothing new to the plethora of pizza colours.... or is that just me? the past, it was with much trepidation that I with the image of a cow hide on the wall - restaurants already present in York. entered Jade Garden. In retrospect, there perhaps not the ideal place for vegetarians to Compared to Pizza Express and Ask, LOLLY: FAB was no need to be so pessimistic. dine - and suspected that this may be more located in perfectly furnished, high-ceilinged PRICE: 50P Upon entry, I was handed a menu boast- my cup of tea. buildings, the bizarre interior of Tuscany ing a wide variety of classic Chinese speciali- Perusing the menu, I found a range of Pizza cannot compete. Its attempts to com- Strawberry lolly, vanilla cream and choco- ties. After much deliberation I chose the steaks from various forms of grass-fed cows bine space-age metallic surfaces with rustic late coated in hundreds and thousands kung pao chicken (chicken marinated in oys- and finally opted for the Chuleton, a sirloin of wood only create an atmosphere which hov- make this a colourful and sweet summer ter sauce served with Sichuan peppercorns, the finest quality. Indeed, I wasn't disap- ers uncomfortably between the two cliches of treat. Still a childhood favourite but not bamboo shoots and cashew nuts). The mix- pointed, it was everything I look for in a minutely-portioned nouveaux cuisine and quite as enjoyable as it could be and not my ture of garlic, chilli peppers and sesame oil steak: tasty, tender and most of all, filling. the overcooked wares of a tacky Italian. first choice on a summer’s day. created a dish that oozed with flavour and Served with home-made chips and salad, it However, the food itself was perfectly contained the perfect balance of spice and was well worth the money. good. The anti-pasti we had as starters gave LOLLY: CALIPPO sweetness. With every tender morsel of However, the 'cake-biscuit' escapade a touch of the authentic and my Fiorentina PRICE: 50P chicken I tasted, the more my preconceived that followed was, well, interesting. Upon pizza was generously proportioned, with a notions of a sub-par establishment were ordering the Alfajor, an Argentinian cake, perfectly-cooked base. The pasta dishes were A personal favourite and the perfect way to erased. there was much furore among my friends and nothing to write home about; perhaps it is get me in the summery mood. The packag- If you’re hankering after Eastern cui- as it became clear the cake was not a cake but better to stick to pizza here. The cheesecake ing is an added convenience; easy to eat sine, Jade Garden is one of the better restau- in fact a biscuit- adding another layer to the was disappointingly dry but the coffees were whilst on the move and there's no worry of rants in York, serving authentic, top quality perennial Jaffa Cake debate. superb and rounded off the meal nicely. the awkward balancing moment of trying to Chinese food. And what’s best, you definitely Nevertheless, this was a thoroughly The three years that this restaurant has keep the last piece of your lolly on the stick. won’t walk away with a severe bout of food enjoyable meal and I would most certainly lasted is testament only to its safe formula. I The sickly sweet melted remains at the end poisoning, as you may do from some of the recommend any big meat-eaters, especially would not hesitate to recommend it to any of the tube are also an added bonus. ‘all you can eat’ restaurants. With Chinese it’s those who avoid eating steak in Britain, to hungry shoppers looking for a standard slice Lauren Menzies certainly safer to pay that little extra. give El Gaucho a chance. of pizza, but don’t get too excited. M20 Listings 08/05/07

Clockwise from top left: The York Realist will be at the Threatre Royal this May; St. Olave’s Church will host the Cancer Research Concert; Spider-Man 3; Nine Black Alps will be at Leeds Cockpit on May 17 Live Music Campus Events Thursday May 10, Fibbers, 8pm Sunday May 13, Leeds Refectory, 7.30pm Friday May 11 May 11-13 The Ray Wilson Band Mika Derwent Stars in Your Eyes Lear’s Daughters, 7:30pm Replacing Phil Collins with Genesis, Ray Still a relatively fresh face despite having ‘Tonight, Derwent, I'm going to be...’ Friday “Exploring the narrative threads of released solo and assorted live recordings sold a million plus copies of his debut of Weeks 3 and 5 see the quarter finals of Goneril, Regan and Cordelia... just let the in the intervening years - and now it’s album; sure to be playing favourites such as what promises to be more than just glorified fast-talking Fool be your guide!” Directed time for the comeback. Paving the way for ‘Love Today’, ‘Lollipop’ and ‘Grace Kelly’ karaoke. Dress up as your artist of choice by Rasheeda Nalumoso, produced by Amy the likes of Nickelback and not ashamed during his return to Leeds, playing at the and compete. Must book performance in Scott. £3.50/£4.50 Tickets from Vanbrugh to show it. £9. Refectory. £12.50 advance. Details on Facebook. stalls (Wed 9th 12 -2) or on the door.

Monday May 14 Thursday May 17, Leeds Cockpit Saturday May 12 Monday May 14 An Albatross Nine Black Alps Cancer Research Concert, 7.30pm Morbid Curiosity, 7:30pm - 9:30pm “Part church gospel, part cult ritual and Playing the many great tunes from their A summer evening with young, talented Part of the Dramasoc’s Open Drama Night increasingly chaotic, free-jazz-influenced debut album Everything Is. They already musicians from the University. Held at St features a rehearsed reading of Morbid prog-metal.” The average song lasts about have a reputation for epic live performances Olave's Church featuring Soprano Francesca Curiosity by Dom Allen. “Political intrigue, a minute but that's a minute of sheer and are described as the Dandy Warhols air- Geach with selected works by Guerney, sexual deviance, brutal psychological tor- thrill. £9 brushing Nirvana's jagged edges. Rubbra, Warlock, Britten and Dring. ture. In a morgue.” Art and Performance Cinema May 2 – June 19 May 22 - 26 Next Spider-Man 3 The Hare and the Tortoise, York Theatre The Wonderful World of Dissocia, York The Hare and the Tortoise, York Theatre The Wonderful World of Dissocia, York Nicholas Cage plays Cris Johnson, an LA Peter Parker strikes a balance between his Royal Theatre Royal showman with a tormenting secret - the abil- beloved M.J. and his superhero duties. If the spring sunshine has you feeling Commissioned for the Edinburgh Festival, ity to see a few minutes into the future. After However Peter faces a battle against fearful young at heart, check out this traditional Anthony Nielson’s play about mental disor- going into hiding from government examina- villains, whose unparalleled power threat- children’s story in its new incarnation in der draws on imagery from the Wizard of tions, he makes a living ‘gambling’ and per- ens Peter and everyone he loves. Although collaboration with Kijo Picture Book Oz and Alice in Wonderland to create a dis- forming cheap magic tricks until he's recruit- the plot may be recycled, the visual effects Village in Japan. Tickets £4 with an NUS orienting vision. Tickets £5 with NUS. ed by government agent Callie Ferris in an are something spectacular. card, £6 otherwise. attempt to stop a nuclear bomb planted by May 26 - September 23 terrorists. This Is England May 9 - 19 Painting the Summer: Henri Fantin-Latour A story about a troubled boy growing up in The York Realist, York Theatre Royal With loans from the National Gallery, Tate The Painted Veil England in 1983. He comes across a few This production from the York Settlement and Victoria and Albert Museum, the York A woman becomes dissatisfied with her mar- skinheads on his way home from school riage, as her husband favours his research after a fight. They become his new best Players explores the unlikely love between Art Gallery is showing paintings by the over time with her. An affair leads her on a friends, even like family. Based on the a Yorkshire farmer and a London theatre French Realist Henri Fantin-Latour. The journey of self-discovery, and her new dedi- experiences of director Shane Meadows. director. Tickets £5 with NUS card, £10 exhibition includes contemporary responses cation to fighting cholera brings her to the Winner of a British Independent film without. from local artist Lorna Green. Far East. award and a UK Film Talent Award.

SPONSORED BY SNAPPY SNAPS Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 10 Comment Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 Look before you leap Get myself arrested YUSU must tell students what leaving the NUS means How the South-west will be won

two ‘R’s: representation and Personally, I’m not sure of my con- change. Something close to resources. fidence in YUSU to replace the my heart has to be the plight What are these mythi- services provided by the NUS from Stephanie Dyson of my homeland; the much Tom Simon-Norris cal resources provided for that figure without a loss in quality. ridiculed, yet ultimately Contributing Writer our benefit? Mostly infor- Also, I wonder about the Deputy Comment individual West Country. mation and advice pertain- precedent disaffiliation would set. Editor Well, two fingers to the ing to all the issues affecting Other universities of similar size Cornish, I want to create a students: money, housing, might follow suit. How many uni- campaign for the removal of health, welfare, relation- versities can the NUS lose and Somerset from the United ships and careers. reman the unified voice of the stu- Kingdom. It should be YUSU’s recent call for a referen- Additionally, the NUS provides dent population? For me, the I’ve never actively campaigned for a recognised as a country in its own dum on NUS affiliation is motivat- services to students by running national representation that the good cause. I’ve never spent a week right, providing my fellow West ed by one thing: money. A feeling projects and events, offering train- NUS gives is too important to in a tunnel demonstrating against a Country-ers with the national iden- prevails that affiliation fees of thir- ing, researching student opinion throw away. If York’s affiliation fee bypass. I’ve never camped for six tity that stigma already give us. ty-odd grand do not represent value and campaigning on our behalf. is unfair (compared to institutions years outside of Parliament to Perhaps its slogan could be for money and that York students This indicates that NUS is a body such as Manchester and Leeds who protest against a mythical “war on “Independent Somersetians ‘RRR’ would benefit more if YUSU spent representing the interests of stu- proportionally pay less in terms of terror”. And neither have I been Us”? that sizeable portion of its (meagre) dents at national level. their student population) then the arrested for my efforts. The bizarre It makes perfect sense to me. budget on more immediate things. However, if YUSU does disaf- way to proceed is to show the NUS and original campaigning efforts of We have our own language – have a It is vital that YUSU is clear filiate, student representation at a that we are being hard done by. the most high-profile protesters put chat with a local, you’ll see what I about the question the referendum country-wide scale will not be This requires a concerted campaign my lack of activism to shame. As a mean – and a strong sense of com- will pose. Rather than contemplat- affected that much. The NUS backed up by the facts: how much student, I think the time is nigh for munity and family. Combine this ing whether ‘in principle, YUSU would still have the support of each service provided should cost, me to jump right into the world of with our own national anthem – a should be affiliated to the NUS?’ almost all other higher education compared to what we pay for it. environmental protection, human we need to consider the underlying institutions in the country and its YUSU has decided to trust stu- rights or something else suitably issue. Does the current affiliation ‘political clout’ would not be undu- dent opinion on this matter, yet close to my moral centre. I could climb the fee represent value for money? ly affected. It would still campaign students must first understand Getting into trouble with the To decide this, we must first on behalf of students and we would exactly what question they are vot- police in an interesting and imagi- Houses of understand the key purpose of still benefit from this protection of ing on, and to ensure they are made native manner seems to be the NUS. Save the occasional 10% off our interests, only for free. aware of the likely consequences of main way of joining the direct Parliament dressed at HMV chances are that most stu- The argument is a cynical one the result. action end of the political debate. dents can’t recall ever having direct – and selfish too. While other SUs Which way will I be voting? To Take Ric Lander, the York student as a lump of extra- contact with the NUS. Their web- across the country pay their dues so retain affiliation. There is surely no who recently spent a night in a cell site led me to a mountain of propa- that our interests are protected, we need to selfishly opt-out of national for chaining himself with chicken mature cheddar ganda detailing all the ‘benefits’ of give nothing. We free up £30,000 a representation merely for the sake wire, carpets and drain-pipes to fel- NUS affiliation; in summary, the year to spend on ourselves. of an extra thirty grand a year. low protesters against Trident certain song including references to operating at Faslane. A big white combine ‘arvesters and personal elephant imaginatively emblazoned acreage – and the argument for with the slogan “Say No to Nuclear independence should be all but set- Power – it is a white elephant!” was tled. Maybe to promote my cause I Vote of no confidence also taking part in the demonstra- could climb the Houses of tions. Or how about Rose Rickford, Parliament dressed as a large lump a YUSU LGBT officer facing trial of extra-mature cheddar? Or ride Did student disenfranchisement determine the elections? this year for her part in a four hour through the middle of London on a runway sit-in against the aviation bloody great big tractor, gleefully end result. Throw low stu- up at the polling station, all stu- industry’s seeming indifference to watching the traffic stack up dent turnout into the mix, dents should be allowed to draw a climate change. behind me? Emily Cousins which inadvertently gives a cross next to their candidate of Fighting for good causes You hear all these stories of Contributing Writer larger voice to the antiqui- choice. Fact. All students should should be fun, even if the govern- protesters being detained under ties of Heslington, and you have had the opportunity to marvel ment doesn’t seem to view it this numerous terrorist attacks and I have reached the nucleus of at the serendipitous fortune that way. It failed to see the humorous quite like the fact that promoting the brewing dissatisfaction. was the rhyming couplet created by side of Batman and Robin scaling Somerset independence may possi- As it happens, the the surnames of the two electoral the walls of Buckingham Palace or bly brand me as a terrorist. I’m not Liberal Democrat victory front runners. Fact. So why were two hundred Father Christmases planning on any Eta-style devasta- Friday Night. Goodricke Bar. A lot was sound, as a split vote between nearly 10% of undergraduate voters storming the lobby of the Lord tion – I have vision of pitchfork of noise being made. Due in part, it the Labour and Green parties had denied these basic rights? Chancellor’s department. The law wielding peasants, all very has to be noted, to the rowdy chant- ensured a return for the incum- Before continuing, I do have to now requires that prospective medieval, I just want to inject some ing of the testosterone fuelled bent. Although it is galling for concede on a pedantic point of demonstrators inform the police of more fun into the politics of today. Roses victors, but largely culpable those who had their chance to vote technicality: responsibility to check their plans at least seven days Surely, as students it’s our duty to was a subtler group of politically stifled, the rather large margins our presence on the electoral roll before they take place. Protests don silly outfits and get arrested in minded students, no less passion- suggest that the ratios would not ultimately rests with individual stu- aren’t exactly intended to be regu- the most novel of ways. Join me in ate, outraged at the shambles of the have changed critically with a high- dents. Fair enough. Yet communi- lated in such a way. my campaign, or start one for your- “accidental disenfranchisement” of cations from the University in the Well I say stuff the govern- selves. Meet you in the lower barn Thursday’s election. run-up to the election suggest that ment, I want to instigate massive at sunset – oo arr. This infringement of a basic The University has enough evidence exists for us to civil liberty had unfair repercus- condemn their actions as irrespon- sions for both voters and candidate. violated its duty of sible, albeit well meaning. Baying for blood, it would seem, Exhibit A: my York email absence of reminder about verify- supplied to us regarding the for- was occurring both on and off the care towards the account. These messages fail to ing our presence on the electoral malities surrounding the Local pitch. Physical and intellectual exonerate the administrational roll. Elections. I also reproach their neg- warfare hit York this weekend. student body authorities from the blame being Wednesday 2nd May: Just ligence for the repercussions it may The first point of discontent- channeled towards them over this after midday, less than 24 hours have on encouraging future partici- ment that needs raising is whether er turnout. issue. Facebook alerts aside, my before the big day, I was informed pation in the democratic arena. these lost votes would have affected So, this is therefore a crusade inbox testifies that many students that “If you’re living in College This whole incident has provided the outcome of the election. Our of principles that unites all individ- were implicitly told they were accommodation, you’ll automati- the already politically lethargic voting behaviour can be classified uals, regardless of party preference. already registered to vote. cally be registered to vote.” This was population of young adults with yet using the various socio-economic It is refreshing for a political dis- Friday 20th April: I received followed by “You can vote without more ammunition to justify apa- divisions that occur in our society. cussion to focus, for once, on what an email saying “there is a polling your polling card”. This is cyber- thetic abstention. Statistically, students tend to vote unites us, rather than what drives card for you at the College clad Times New Roman proof, not While this scandal could be left of centre, in contrast to the us apart. Together, we have con- Reception. You will need this when to mention the polling card com- bantered around by those with the more reactionary preferences of the cluded that the following are basic you go to vote at the Local ment which actively encouraged power to do something pro-active, I older generations who habitually electoral criteria and practices, Government Election”. So far, so students to have no bureaucratic sincerely hope that the voices on swing to the right-hand side of the which unfortunately were absent good. A pleasant reminder of our involvement in the whole process. campus will inspire a proper inves- political scale. Therefore, with only from Thursday’s proceedings. democratic right, before it was The University has violated its tigation into these inaccuracies, students affected by the registra- When living on campus, stu- undermined, with the commend- duty of care towards the student and that the findings will be aimed tion complication, this had a poten- dents should automatically be reg- able intention of encouraging stu- body by being unclear and impre- at preventing any such misfortune tially disproportionate effect on the istered to vote. Fact. When turning dent turnout. However, note the cise over the information they have occurring in the future.

Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 11 Letters Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007

Nouse welcomes your letters. Please indicate if they are not intended for publication. Nicky Woolf Email [email protected] or write to: Goes way back Letters Nouse, Grimston House, Vanbrugh College What are the first things you think of when you think of the ‘60s? Sex? Drugs? Rock’n’Roll? The same three, but in a differ- Taking away the ‘tingle’ ent order? Now, if you will, imagine being one of the gentry in the ‘60s. Life for the toffs Star Letter Dear Nouse, didn’t change as much in the ‘60s as it did for the disaffected, baby-boomer, up-and-com- Oh I’m an old (little bit older) resident of ing optimists of the middle- and lower class- DearNouse, I agree completely that being a single C Block too, and I’m devastated to read this es. While the younger and less landed citi- parent at the University is a very isolating and discover that my old home has bitten the zens of Britain were finding new and exciting I was very interested in the article experience and this is something which I dust! pastimes such as free love, cheap psyche- about single parents at the University of find a great shame. But I agree, and much more importantly delics and ambitiously optimistic philoso- York. I am a third year mathematics and I would love to do my utmost in order than this, it saddens me greatly to see that phies – resulting in such affecting and education student and I have a five year to establish some sort of network for single the University still doesn’t understand that in poignant lyrics as “I am the Eggman / I am old son. I have been at the University for parents at York. Maybe through booking a addressing the issue of the college structure the Walrus / goo goo ga-joob,” – life for the the last five years and although I have room and putting posters up around cam- as a mere afterthought, rather than placing upper classes changed very little. The butler received a lot of support from my supervi- pus and inviting single parents to come its protection and development at the very still brought tea and scones for breakfast, the sor, it has not been the case from the along and take it from there? centre of plans for the future, it’s chipping labradors still needed walking and the grouse University itself. away, piece by piece, at its absolutely most still needed shooting. When you own half of When I first started my course there valuable asset. Because it’s the sense of com- Staffordshire and have shot most of its was a waiting list for family accommoda- Sabine munity, derived from what originally was an wildlife, time weighs very heavy on your tion and for the on-campus nursery. I had A First Year Mathematics and Education almost scientifically calculated mixture of hands. just moved to York from Bedfordshire Student academic, residential, and social space, that Of course, the pastime of those with where my parents live and was forced to makes York what it is (or at least was), not more money than land and a lot of both was find a house in York as well as a suitable just socially, but academically and culturally then what it was a hundred years ago, and nursery which could cater for my too. what it still is to this day – getting roaring timetable. Take away the college system, and you’ll drunk off expensive brandy and making take away the tingle that made me, and I expensive and dramatic wagers. In 1964, imagine hundred and thousands like me, while students at the brand new University of available and forgetting revision, all in the first want to go to York, and then that made York bopped to the Beatles, and students at name of the ‘White Rose’, is something quite it such a special place when we got there. And the equally spanking Lancaster phenomenal and perhaps not something you in a language that administration might be rolled to the Stones, the two Rich Croker see at all other universities. better able to understand, if people stop Universities’ Vice- YUSU President It would be easy to mention the winning going, that’s really bad for business. Chancellors, Lord Roses’ teams but in truth the Men’s Rugby 1st James of Rusholme XV exemplified this determination and com- (York) and Sir Charles mitment to the very core. They gave every- Stephen Carter (Lancaster) had thing they had on Sunday. There was some- nothing more to do than thing eerie about the applause that rang out attack the ’56 Glenfiddich around the pitch side on 22 acres at the end; together and discuss their As I approach the end of my year as President a silent respect and sympathy for a team who Trouble in paradise relative students’ merits. a lot of people have asked me what my plans had given everything; for who being able to Dear Nouse, It must have been are for my future. The truth is, I don’t know; hold their heads up high just wasn’t good about half past two, the after 11 years of being determined to do Law enough; they wanted to win, they wanted to candles were low and so was I’ve now decided it isn’t for me; the chances beat Lancaster. I am sick to the back-teeth of my flat- the whisky, and it was perhaps are I’ll be here again next year for an Masters Unlike a lot of universities, I truly mates. They are inconsiderate and Lord James (one likes to think) who belched course. Some will say “move on, you’ve got to believe that York makes people feel like they unhygeinic with regards to washing pots, politely, shuffled his whiskers, and said those leave some time”… “you can’t be the eternal belong in a kind of community, and if any pans and themselves. I have a sneaking sus- immortal words: “I bet my lot are sportier student”... and more often than not – “why proof is needed to indicate this, you only picion that one of them stole a cape from than your lot.” The rest, as they say, is history. don’t you go somewhere else?”. The very rea- need to see the number of ‘old’ boys and girls Medieval Re-enactment Society, and he cur- The first Roses tournament was a row- son why I would rather be here than some- who return here. Sadly, for most of them rently wears it shamelessly round campus. ing race and, even though it was not on home where else can be summed up entirely by the their time here goes too quickly, loving as Another housemate persists on letting off turf (the lake, unfortunately, isn’t deep Roses Weekend… they would to live forever in the York con- firecrackers in the middle of the night, with enough; and Goodricke Bridge is just low The truth is York is a wonderful place to crete jungle and step on goose crap just one complete disregard for the poor young man enough to decapitate all the competitors as be. No matter how much we dislike the last time. on the floor below with an eardrum problem they speed underneath), Lord James’ York University at times, or get annoyed at some- All that’s left for me now is to congratu- and far less for the sanity of our block as a emerged triumphant. The Carter-James thing that is happening - to quote my prede late Tom Moore and all the others who were whole. Trophy was smelted from purest gold and cessor Micky Armstrong; “compared to involved in the 2007 Roses weekend. I am writing to demand that the handed to the victorious rowers, and Carter Lancaster we will always be better – we are Whether it was through the blood, sweat and University adopt a more strident filtering demanded a rematch to be held the very next the University of York”. tears on the pitch, or the painstaking prepa- process when considering applicants, in year. Thus, Roses was born. What a time to That people put themselves and their rations that everyone put in, you all did York order to weed out the kind of sociopathic be alive, eh? bodies on the line by training every hour proud. freaks I have ended up with. Why does York seem to attract people like the quasi-alco- holic chemistry student on my floor who per- sists in urinating in our shower and shrieking Vanbrugh Paradise Corner enlessly when in a state of intoxication. I want to open up a forum for those with simi- This week: A bit of banter, Roses Stylee by Anjli Raval lar problems.

The Roses weekend has yet again The Lancaster Rugby boys seemed ing student did also shout out his phone Disgruntled of James provided an abundance of stories of to take their nakedness seriously, with two of number to the girls he thought were better scandal and drunken misdemeanours, origi- the team who had not scored during the sea- looking. nating from both the York and Lancaster son incurring the penalty of having to do a Excessive consumption of alcohol, as More please... sides and all in the name of banter. ‘Naked Run’. Sadly their lack of scoring expected, generated hedonistic behaviour “From pantomime horses to water bal- seemed to have proportionately affected their from York University students in particular. loons and the chanting of "your mum's your respective appendages, and spectators were York's squash team were escorted out from Dear Nouse, dad, your dad's your mum you dirty inbred left to wonder at the wisdom of baring all the Roses Ball for doing press-ups on the Lancaster scum" or, "you're a Poly in dis- when ‘all’ happened to be very small. dance floor; bottles were thrown outside of I would just like to say how much I enjoyed guise!" the tournament came to pass in its On a sadder note, the Lancaster Men's Mc Q's and even physical violence ensued in your last edition of Muse. Nicky Wooolf’s customary fashion. Hockey First team captain, Bowler, was spot- the car park of the Charles XII pub. Campus’ night behind the scenes in Ziggys was a great The Lancaster first-year representa- ted crying after the teams 2-0 defeat and his notorious Richard ‘Ginge’ Davis even man- read and the photos were fantastic. Perhaps tive streaked across the field during half-time sending off during the match on Saturday. aged to push former SU President Mickey though he could return on a Saturday and of the Men's First Team rugby match in a Shame. Armstrong through a window in Derwent in offer us an extended tour. bow to tradition. He made his way towards Hockey seemed to be at the heart of his drunken state. the York team huddle, only to be ushered university rivalry and banter, with an infa- Finally, I have been reliably informed“ Many thanks away angrily by the team coach. It was then mous Lancastrian taking centre stage with that the teams that play together not only that this rather well-rounded student was his megaphone. He hurled abuse at the York stay together but sleep together. The Eager of Alcuin chased off the field by a York rugby 'old boy' Women's hockey team, shouting out players' Lancaster University Women’s Badminton style more akin to cops and robbers than to shirt numbers followed by insults such as team must be mentioned for having a drunk- Rugby players. "you're ugly!". On the other hand, the charm- en orgy in Derwent on Saturday. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Politics Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 The local elections: a judgement on Blair or a Tory breakthrough?

will choose as next Prime Minister. A further boost to David Cameron’s confidence is a study by the Elections Centre at Plymouth University, conducted immediately after election results. The research states that if the voting patterns for the council elections were replicated in the next gener- al elections, the Tory govern- ment would win 352 seats in Commons- 54 more than all the other parties. Nevertheless, the Liberal Democrats will be the most disappointed of all. David Cameron on the local elections campaign trail With the Labour Party on the regions surrounding However, according to the decline, carrying the Durham not having shifted the Labour Party, this is not a weight of the war in Iraq on from Labour control. bad result. their shoulders, and the However, it is clear that the With control of 46 Conservatives being blamed Conservative Party have not councils, Labour’s Chief for relying more on their had the same landslide suc- Whip Jacqui Smith com- public image than actual cess in the North as they mented that the Tories have policies, it was up to the have enjoyed in the “failed to make any break- Liberal Democrats to seize Midlands and the South. through” and that David the day and the majority of The Conservative Party Cameron’s party “needed to the ballots. will probably be happy with win councils like Bury, But the results were dis- their result: it is a mirror Barrow-in-Furness, Bolton appointing; the Liberal image of the one Labour had and Crewe... their failure to Democrats won only 27 over them in 1996, before do so shows they have failed councils, and whilst there they won the general elec- to break out beyond their was a significant victory in tion by a landslide. heartlands in any significant ‘Gordon Brown’s backyard’ The Conservatives have way.” of Fife, they are still far too won nearly 900 seats across To add to Labour’s woes, small to pose a reasonable the country and 205 coun- there is speculation that threat to the two giants of cils, with an average of about their canvassers violated the Parliament. 40% of votes in constituen- postal vote code by harassing It would seem that A potential 33 million voters were eligible to vote in last week’s local elections cies. elderly voters in Leeds and Labour will be trying to sway areas such as Manchester, Party and 20 by the Liberal Francis Maude, filling in their forms. the Lib Dem voters towards By Albi Furlan the map of the country is Democrats. Conservative Party These results provide their camp in the general covered in blue. Incidentally, North of Yorkshire, Chairman said: “We're now some degree of insight into election, though at this According to Tony Blair, the York seems to be the cut-off meanwhile, the situation is the only party that repre- the next general election, moment in time it looks as Labour Party fared better point for the Conservative decidedly less clear-cut, with sents the whole of England. with Labour saying they will though not even that helping than was expected in the wave. most councils lacking a rul- This is a great base on which take nothing for granted and hand would stop the blue local elections. If that is the To the south of ing majority. There are a few we can build victory at the keep working to achieve a tide. case, the expectations must Yorkshire, the majority of exceptions to be found, such next election, taking our victory and the But, as they say, a week have been extremely low. constituencies were won by as Newcastle and Durham, message of change, hope and Conservatives feeling confi- is a long time in politics and With the exception of a the Conservatives, with only both of which were held by optimism to more communi- dent that these results are a the general election is still few pockets of resistance in 21 being taken by the Labour the Liberal Democrats, and ties across the country.” reflection of who the people many, many weeks away. Scotland: no longer Labour’s heartland

By Albi Furlan Salmond said these results ing to estimates, 100,000 occurred with postal votes, Salmond has promised to re- banish any idea that Labour ballot papers, which had to including those supposedly think his 2010 referendum have a “divine right to rule be scrapped. lost in the Atlantic mist on on an independent Scotland, The number of people Scotland”. There had been strong the morning of the elections, one cannot deny the fact reportedly walking to Dundee has become the independent advice that this as well as difficulties with that, whether they are will- polling stations wearing first Scottish city to ever be overlap should be avoided, the computers counting the ing to take the next step or kilts in Scotland was an completely ruled by the SNP. but the Scottish Office decid- ballot papers not working not, they are nonetheless immediate giveaway to the However, the results were ed to go ahead the system of properly. that little bit closer. Scottish National Party’s not as clear-cut as either electors marking their cho- Parties are asking for Elsewhere, Labour have (SNP) electoral victory last party might have hoped, sen candidates for both local clarifications and even inves- had their worst result in Friday. with various problems aris- councils and the Scottish tigations, specifically on the Wales since 1945. Blair’s Alex Salmond’s party ing that were initially Parliament at the same time. Holyrood Constituency, for- party has lost their control won 47 council seats, beat- thought to compromise the This is mostly worrying merly Brown’s stronghold, over regions from Llanelli to ing the Labour Party’s 46 outcome. because in some constituen- but it would seem that the Plaid Cymru. seats in the area that has Both local and parlia- cies, the number of rejected current results are mostly The Welsh Party advo- been dubbed ‘Gordon mentary elections were held votes (an average of 1,000) is correct. cated secession, while the Brown’s backyard’. on the same day, and having higher than the margin by The victory can be seen Conservative Party won The Scottish National two different ballot papers is which the majority have as the first step on the road three constituencies, making Party is now the biggest in thought to have confused won. to independence for The SNP have a majority them a force to be reckoned Scotland, and a pleased voters, thus spoiling, accord- Other problems have Scotland, and while with in Welsh politics. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 13 York Council Elections 2007 The Results in detail Winning candidates in bold Fulford: Aspden, Keith (Lib Dem) 503 votes Craghill, Denise (Green) 212 votes Smith, Alan (Labour) 266 votes Suddons, Samantha (Conservative) 153 votes Heslington: Fletcher-Hall, Grace (Labour) 251 votes Henniker-Heaton, J (Conservative) 182 votes Jamieson-Ball, Ceredig (Lib Dem) 436 votes Sanderson,Peter (Green) 266 votes Fishergate: D’Agorne, Andy (Green) 1,308 votes Dickinson, Ernest Peter (Labour) 706 votes Dickson, Robin (Conservative) 649 votes Gibson, Thomas (Labour) 576 votes Hudson, Nicholas (Lib Dem) 146 votes Nunn, Susan (Lib Dem) 157 votes Phillips, Stephen (BNP) 111 votes Rutherford, Michael (Conservative) 495 votes Taylor, Dave (Green) 1,086 votes Hull Road: Brown, David (BNP) 259 votes Collingwood, Andrew (Green) 327 votes Cossham, John (Green) 341 votes Cregab, Richard Thomas (Labour) 819 votes Crockett, Tom (Conservative) 643 votes Johns, Michaels-Perring (Lib Dem) 355 votes Pierce, Roger (Labour) 803 votes Williams, Rachel (Lib Dem) 414 votes Yonge, Alan (Conservative) 544 votes Acomb: Dawson, Ian (BNP) 520 votes Dyson, Will (Green) 297 votes Horton, David (Labour) 1,303 votes Lewis-Strodder, R (Lib Dem) 448 votes Mayne, Alexander (Lib Dem) 399 votes Simpson-Laing, T (Labour) 1,301 votes Thompson, D (Conservative) 426 votes Tucker, Michael (Conservative) 529 votes No party was left with overall control of the York City Council after the local elections.(Numbers represent seats available) Claire Yeo analyses the implications of Thursday’s York City Council election results

ast week’s City Council. Sanderson, who has quite confident about my Jamieson-Ball, however, the Council election saw The Lib Dems’ dramat- remained steadfast in his support base in the village, loss of votes has not had a the return of a ic reduction in votes mirrors opposition to the Hes East but obviously didn’t really marked impact: “I don’t LLiberal Democrat- widespread dissatisfaction development, might have know what was going on on think it was votes from any dominated Council once with their performance in seemed the most likely victor campus with facing a particular party that were more. This time, however, local government over the in a ward where local resi- Student Union Labour can- lost…it was probably pro- their monopoly over other last term. Unpopular dents already keenly feel the didate.” With many students portional as per the result.” parties in the Council has actions such as the closure drawbacks of proximity to moving to the area only National issues, it was been dramatically reduced of the Barbican Centre, the the University. recently, it is likely that they claimed last week, would set from a majority of 29 to a introduction of the Ftr buses Sanderson received the will vote for familiar faces, the agenda, rather than local mere 19, only beating and the likely approval of second largest number of rather than according to pol- politics. The new Labour Labour’s share of positions by the much-opposed votes, only beating the stu- icy. Councillor for Hull Road, one councillor. Heslington East develop- dent Labour Party candidate, Despite this, neither Richard Cregan, was keen to The Conservatives, who ment at the University, were Grace Fletcher-Hall, by 15 student candidate was suc- distance himself from the have had no representation set to be key deterrents votes. This is in itself some- cessful in winning the now decade-old Labour in the Council since 2003, against a Lib Dem revival. what surprising. The student Heslington seat, nor were Government: “I must were successful in winning Heslington residents Grace Fletcher-Hall candidates had been expect- any other student candidates emphasize the word ‘local’ eight of the Liberal voted by a significant mar- ed to fare well in wards with elected. On campus dozens because we are a local party”. Democrat’s lost seats. gin to return to office Lib tion and permanent local a high population of student of students were unable to “Some people vote for If Labour form coali- Dem Councillor Ceredig residents, who have been residents. vote due to registration local reasons, others for tions with Green or the Jamieson-Ball. The known to not always see eye “It is likely the student problems. national”, Peter Sanderson Conservative Councillors, the Heslington residents’ oppo- to eye on many issues, not candidates would do better “It is quite unjust that explained. But in the Lib Dems will be kept out of sition to the proposed least the politics and policies where the students are vot- many students have been Heslington ward, the expec- government, and how these Heslington East develop- of the local Council. ing – but it’s very difficult to randomly disenfranchised,” tation is that it is “going to coalitions are formed will ment has been well-publi- This particular make- predict a ward like this any- said Fletcher-Hall. be more national than local”. now be the decisive factor in cised, making Jamieson- up of the Heslington ward, way, because obviously most In a ward where voter Jamieson-Ball agreed shaping the nature of local Ball’s clear victory some- similar to the other key stu- of the people here haven’t turnout is far less than 50%, with this analysis, saying: government in York for the what remarkable. dent-dominated wards of voted before”, Grace the denial of some of the “The electorate voted on next four years. Fortunately The Heslington ward Hull Road and Fulford, Fletcher-Hall commented on electorate’s right to vote has issues they felt passionate for all, with under 4,000 itself is a very particular meant that the result was all polling day. important implications for about, some of which will be votes in total, the BNP will ward, consisting of both a the more unpredictable. The Jamieson-Ball has the legitimacy of those in local, some of which will be not have any seats in the transcient student popula- Green Party candidate, Peter admitted, however: “I was power. According to national”. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 14 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday May 8 2007 Life as a sports star Daniel Whitehead interviews Steve Grundy, the York student star of Rugby League

A THIRD-YEAR politics 18's squad who travelled to student who by day works Australia the following diligently towards his summer. graduation and by night From there he moved stars for the York Knights to York, where in his first- seems an unlikely combi- year he was signed as an Photo: nation, but Steve Grundy amateur player for Georgi isn’t one to care about Doncaster. After a season Mabee stereotypes. of impressive performanc- He speaks in a broad es, he transferred to the Grundy. “I'm a good aca- opportunity to maximise seems to become slightly very high skill level, plus a Lancashire accent about York Knights in 2006 and, demic student, but I'm not their time as a student, it more introverted, as if higher fitness level”. how he developed as a as captain, starred in the a good social student. I'll seems that Grundy already comparisons are a topic of It's hard to find fault rugby player and came to academy team before sign- never be in Toffs on a thinks he has. “Playing avoidance. with Grundy's argument. sign a professional con- ing a one-year profession- Tuesday, I'll never be at rugby has benefited me. “Definitely rugby Despite his diligence, he tract for the Knights at the al contract this winter. Ziggy's on a Wednesday. I It's helped me focus on my league provides a better says he remains undecided start of the year. Although sporting choose not to go out, sport and my degree, it's spectator sport and better about the future after his His journey to the stardom and a decent because I know if I go out helped me keep on track”. value for money. Rugby contract runs out at the second division of the salary is a dream for most drinking in the week I A sport which is met union is not as intense, it's end of the current season. national league is an inter- students, finding the bal- won't be able to train as with mixed reactions by fragmented. With league However, his admittance esting one. At 17, while ance between student life well as I should. I only go many students, rugby it's very hard, and very that his current job isn't playing for his local team and a predominately out after the match on league is often seen to be rewarding, and you feel really a “viable career” he was spotted by the working-class league life Sundays” the poor cousin of union. like you've accomplished suggests that Steve may Great British national side has proved tough. “I'm not Whereas some would When I bring up the sub- something when you come have already have made and chosen for the Under- a good student” says regret not taking the ject of union Grundy off the field. It requires a up his mind. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday May 08 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 15 York score big Hudson and Vanner point win against Bradford 1sts >> Continued from back page towards York’s cricket future From this point onwards, Bradford never came to terms with the task which faced them, shots. as the second wicket fell soon ANALYSIS Although it could have afterwards off impressive bowl- By Daniel Whitehead been assumed that ing from strike bowler Antony SPORTS EDITOR Wednesday’s performance Butterfield. was mere fluke, another Bradford came back in the fluid and dominant per- middle stages to an extent, cre- IT HAS BEEN over six years formance came from ating a solid partnership since a player from the Hudson over the Roses between the number 4 and 5 University of York Men’s 1sts weekend in which he scored batsmen—but once the next cricket team scored a centu- 90. wicket had fallen after a decep- ry. Once again, Hudson tive ball from man of the match In an eventful week, showed he has the ability to Hudson, it was as good as over York scored two within 20 build a convincing innings for the visitors. York bowled minutes of each other whilst and time his offense correct- Bradford out for 200 with 12 playing Bradford University ly. overs to spare. last Wednesday and almost Not only did he impress Hudson was the pick of the scored a third in the Roses in the batting line-up, but bowlers, despite having an meeting against Lancaster also starred as a pivotal injured wrist, taking two wick- later in the week. bowler in the York attack. ets with his first two overs and Despite the failings of His accurate finger-spinning going on to take two further previous seasons where proved problematic for both wickets by the end of the match. York have struggled to pro- Bradford and Lancaster as Post-match, Hudson was in an vide a solid batting line-up, he took two wickets in three upbeat mood, saying, "We got this one was reliable enough overs and one wicket in ten, off to a good start and it was to post good scores match respectively. always nice to get a century. I after match - this year the Opening batting part- was glad to get a few overs in situation has reversed. ner Nick Vanner spoke post- before Roses." A thrilling opening match of his liking for play- The injured York captain partnership of 267 from ing alongside Vanner, saying Jamie Vanner was also full of new boys Tom Hudson and their use of the shorter praise for his team, even though Nick Vanner saw both play- boundary at York’s cricket it was obvious he was itching to ers making centuries fields to their full advantage get back into the game despite against Bradford. had helped them succeed recently suffering from tonsilli- The two openers and that they were working tis. He put the performance crashed the ball through the on engaging with slower down partly to the preparation covers over after over, slog- bowling which had previ- the team went through before ging the ball over the short ously caused the battting the opening match: "A major boundary regularly, and pair problems. The York contributing factor this season when not scoring highly, team will be looking for is the indoor cricket and the they kept the runs ticking more of the same in the next vastly improved net facilities for over with shrewd running seven days. An intense fix- training in the winter. They are between the wickets. ture pile-up due to the post- fantastic facilities and helped us There was an obvious ponement of games due to tremendously in preparing for intrinsic understanding Roses means that within the season ahead". and confidence between the seven days, they will face York made a strong start to pair as they shared the scor- games against Huddersfield, their BUSA campaign, and with ing between them and built York St. John and a poten- all players likely to be fit by the their innings in similar fash- tially crucial final game weekend, they surely have the ions. Eventually, both play- against Leeds University momentum to go into their next ers were removed after tak- Men’s 1sts which may decide game against Huddersfield, who ing poor, over-confident who is promoted. York Men’s strong batting led to two centuries in a week. Photo: Georgi Mabee lost to York St. John’s last week. York rowers impressive regatta performance

By Harriet Edmonds whopping four hours. Eight had less luck than the Regatta last weekend, their University crews were a women, as the Men’s Head first regatta this year. SPORTS CORRESPONDENT strong presence in the race, two weeks later was can- Competing in a single scull, with Imperial, Cambridge celled after boats struggled Ben got through to the final YORK UNIVERSITY’S and Durham predictably to get to the start and several and came 4th overall. The Boat Club achieved impres- topping the list coming 7th, crews had sunk due to the Four also battled through to sive results in the Women’s 8th and 9th respectively out awful weather conditions. the final of their category, Head of the River Race, the of the total number of 286 This was a massive blow for despite horrific weather con- pinnacle Head Race of the crews, achieving times just the Novices, who had trav- ditions. winter season. over 20 minutes. York com- elled to London to compete The team train seven After travelling down to pleted the course in 21 min- after remaining in York days a week, which on a typi- London at the end of March, York placed higher than Manchester, UCL and Bristol utes 13 seconds, only 16 sec- beyond the end of last term cal day consists of two out- the Boat Club’s Senior onds slower than the Senior to train for the event. ings on the Ouse plus time Women’s crew did even bet- this race in two years. rating”, especially when they 3 York City boat, which for a On the Senior Men’s spent in the gym. If any ter than hoped and came The crew had to battle could hear the lively York small club like UYBC is an front, it seemed that the sports team deserves victory 18th out of the 68 crews in the 7km sprint on the supporters who had come to achievement. huge amounts of training this season, it is undoubtedly the Senior 4 category, beat- Thames from London’s watch the team, shouting The Tideway can be a and commitment they have this crew. Drinking bans will ing Manchester, UCL, Mortlake to Putney against a loudly off Hammersmith dangerous course as it is put in since the autumn term now be enforced in prepara- Bristol, Warwick and strong head wind, although Bridge. wide and fast-flowing; huge finally paid off. tion for UYBC as Bedford, Nottingham universities. other than this the condi- Less exhilarating was in comparison to the nar- Captain Ben Knowles Met and ultimately, Henley This is the first time tions were excellent. Sarah the ‘very long row home’ row, red-boat dominated and his Senior Coxed Four Regattas are prepared for, by the women have had a crew Woods said rowing the against the current. They Ouse. boat put up a solid perform- both the Men’s and Women’s strong enough to compete in famous course was “exhila- were on the water for a The York Novice Men’s ance at Nottingham City squads. 16 STEVE GRUNDY Daniel Whitehead talks to York’s new rugby SPORT league star York claim back Roses trophy - see Sports pull-out

York romps home to victory after massive innings against Bradford

CRICKET Hudson and Nick Vanner than occasional fielding suggesting that the fielders had to adapt quickly to avoid performance from the guys." York Men’s 1sts 421-5 laid the foundations with a errors - helping York on the were getting desperate for a making a mistake in the face After the break, record breaking opening way to a near insurmount- wicket in the face of York's of unpredictable deliveries. Bradford came out to face an Bradford 1sts 200-10 partnership of 267. It took a able total. batting brilliance. They did this successfully average run rate of 8.4. The By Criss Noice searing full toss from the At points the lack of During the innings though, playing their shots score seemed to overwhelm DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR Bradford seamer to unhinge experience and coaching in there was a hint at some with care and not taking any Bradford, and instead of the partnership which put the field became comical, as underhanded tactics from unnecessary chances. attempting to build an YORK CRUISED to a 221 York firmly in command - Bradford players dropped the Bradford leg spinner, First year Nick Vanner innings they forced them- run victory on Wednesday eventually reaching a total of several easy catches on the who appeared to be throw- who scored an impressive selves into playing poor as the men's first cricket 421 - 5, a team high for over edge of the boundary and ing the ball. However, der- innings total, said, "I love shots. team dominated Bradford six years. failed to prevent fours over spite the York team’s com- batting with Tom [Hudson], However, the first wick- despite the absence of their The high scoring of after over, often simply due plaints the umpire deter- he's a great strong batsman et was taken after just the captain in the opening York's batsmen was clearly to a lack of committment. mined that the technique to partner with. I think we second ball when a error led BUSA league game of the having an effect on the field- In the 36th over there was a legal style, if rather made great use of the shorter to the opening batsman run- season. ers, who throughout the was a snatched throw at the unorthodox. boundary on one side and ning himself out. Stellar performances innings seemed uncomfort- stumps which missed the This caused some prob- we're starting to get used to from opening batsmen Tom able and were making more stumps by several metres, lems with the batsmen who the slower pitch. It was a top >> Continued p15

Nouse is printed by Newspapers Quest (York Ltd) - a Gannet Company, PO Box 29, 76-86 Walmgate, York, 08.05.07 YO10 9YN. For back copies contact the JB Morrell Library, University of York, Heslington, York, YO10 5DD.