That Friday free thing Leeds St de Friday, May 4, 2007 VOL37:ISSUE 20 Labour students caught in postal vote scandal

By Alex Doorey continued involvement with the Leeds certainly be expelled from the Labour branch of the Labour Party_ A party and face criminal charges." he spokesperson for the Lib Dems said said. that they were 'appalled' at the Responding to the Sunday Times MON 4 -SAT 9 JUNE Opposition parties have rounded on 'alleged disgraceful behaviour of allegations. David Crompton. the student Labour movement On Leeds University students whilst out assistant chief constable of West campus over claims that its members canvassing for Labour in Gipton and Yorkshire Police, said: "This is DIRECT FROM THE WEST END have been involved in the alleged Harehills'. extremely sharp practice and a.clear postal vote fraud scandal. These concerns have been echoed breach of the guidelines." tra_ I NG 0 The movement has remained tight- by Liberal Democrat Council Leader Wilson went on to say that. if the fHilu PIM ISIS lipped since allegations were made in Mark Harris. who said: "This is a claims were true. it would reflect the the national press on Sunday that ii disgrace. This matter needs to be difficulties that Labour were facing in I had been involved in the dubious thoroughly investigated." the local elections. collection of postal ballots for Simon Harley, Chairperson of "It is too early to say whether the yesterdays local elections. Leeds Conservative Future, made no allegations are true or not, but if they A spokesperson for the student comment on the counter-accusations are. it shows how alienated Ness Labour movement at Leeds said: "The levelled at his party by Labour. but he Labour have become. That postal Labour Party is fully signed up to the did condemn any involvement in voting fraud has even been Electoral Commission's postal vote voting fraud. considered is indicative of the tact code of conduct and we require all He said: "The Conservative Party that Labour have alienated their candidates and agents to comply with and Conservative Future deplores any voters." the code, kind of electoral fraud. he it locally or He added that others who had been "Following press reports over the nationally. We sincerely hope that the ins olved in the election campaign had weekend the Labour Party is allegations made by The Sunday noticed that Labour supporters did not investigating a specific allegation that Times prove to he untrue." want to vote for the parts -Friends the code was not followed. The Although no other official that have been OUT riveting and Labour Party is also investigating comment has been made. sources knocking on doors for Labour have THE MUSICAL potentially libellous claims made by close to the Labour party have told overwhelmingly found that those they the Conservative Party in their Leeds Student of their disgruntlement visit who previously voted Labour arc election literature regarding these with the gagging order put on the simply staying at home." I allegations." organisation. believing that those Wilson also spoke out against the DYNA A report in last weekend's Sunday involved should be allowed to tell criticism coming from the other Times alleged that the leader of the their side of the story. parties over the allegations. "It Labour group on Leeds City Council. But other members of the national obvious that the Lib Dems and Tories Keith Wakefield. told student student Labour movement have would jump on this story. but even if campaigners to ask voters if they spoken out. Gemma Tumelty, they came to power there would he no wanted help filling out their postal President of the NUS and Labour less sleaze in politics than there is ballots. They went onto allege that supporter. expressed her concern at now. The Lib Dems have just cashed thLa °961 jra another councillor. Graham Hyde. the claims. in on the public dissatisfaction with told Labour students - who had been "1 read this report and obviously Labour." he said. "There is nothing Chlidtte-r infiltrated by an undercover reporter - these allegations are a serious concern that they can say in this situation that *eluding Saturd v to take away ballot papers and to post for many." she said. is not cynical." evening) a' them only if they were for Labour. Luke Wilson, a member of the West Yorkshire police confirmed Both Hyde and Wakefield deny the Labour party representing Socialist they would be carrying out a thorough allegations. Appeal, warned of the consequences investigation into the allegations and The society has come under heavy that face the students involved if the have been passed a dossier of criticism from the Liberal Democrat allegations are proven to be correct. evidence by the Sunday Times. TICKET PRICES £9.50- £29.50 and Tory student groups. LUU's "I was not personally involved in Asst Chief Constable David e Liberal Democrats have called for the the election campaign. so I can't Crompton added: "We will now be BOX OFFICE: 0870 122 2817 resignation of all the Labour comment on the validity of the looking at this carefully to determine GRAN HOOK ONLINE: www.leedsgrandthealre.com 4101.1., I til.ow movement's committee members, and allegations, but if they are true then whether a crime has been Revlisted -Ctaiity No 5064011 [email protected] asked the society to reconsider their those people involved would almost committed." he added. • Celebrate LUU (3) • Shisha smoke ban (9) • Comment (15) • LS says thanks (22)

Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, 2 May 4, 2007

I find it all so amusing. homage and thanks to Old Blue Eye Please, either sing along, or read quietly I planned each charted coarse: s, and hid you all fartwell. Read his aloud. Each careful step along the byway. words. re-read them, and you'll hav But more, much more than this, To think 1 did all that: e And may I say - not in a shy way. peeik.mintovamytestouull. And now, the end is near; (sing along) did it my way. to all the read .And so ),face the final curtain. No oh no not me. ers ianckdedesupep ctihaellypaperto tho My friend. I'll say it clear. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you I did it my way. wr .41= state my case, of which lin certain, knew iwwlaehveock'v-Leutpn moved to interact with L When I bit off more than I could chew. For what is a man, what has he got? If run himself, then he has naught. through the letters page, texts or by I've lived a life that's full. But through it all. when there was writing opinions or observations. T To say the things he truly feels; o the I've travelled each and every highway: doubt. readers - there must be some - who a And more, much more Man this, ate it up and spit it out. And not the words alone who kneels. re The record shows I took the blows - reading the paper for the first time this I did it my way. I faced it all and i stood tall; week - where have you been? And did it my way. And did it my way! in ell Welcome! But try to remember to come Regrets, l'i'e had a few; next . But theft again. too few romention. I've loved, I've laughed and cried. Frank. if can call him that. managed up a year editing Leeds Student hackIt' beeyn eara.rollereoaster ,• l did what I had to do I've had fitv fill; my share of lasing. to Burn rale, thanks better than I ever could. So here, I pay for riding along with me and the team .firtl Q nint And saw it through without exemption. And rum. as tears subside. English school ransacked by overnight burglary GLOBAL

By Jess Geen -There was a ladder by the sealfoldint: rt By Rachel Hunter wasn't secure to all." Another English lecturer said: -The police have been dusting fir fingerprints. eace in the Middle East has English lecturers were left to pick up the Ile burglars had been even been in the become a reality - but only a pieces last Friday after burglars left the Head of English's office." pvirtual one. English department ransacked on Malcolm Dawson. Security Services A new computer game has been Thursday evening. Operations Manager. confirmed the developed by Israeli and U.S The School was broken into last events but could was unable to elaborate programmers Asi Barak and Eric 'Thursday night and many Heins due to ongoing police investigation. He Brown during their time at belonging to staff have nose been reported said: "There was a burglary at the School Carnegie Mellon University in as stolen, as well as cash and five or six of English overnight between April 26 Pennsylvania. The software, called computer monitors. and April 27. Security attended. and an "PeaceMaker", allows you to plat, A Security Services officer, who investigation is ongoing." thepart of the Israeli prime witnessed the aftermath of the burglary. Police were unwilling to disclose what minister or the Palestinian told Leeds Student that the offices of the exactly had been stolen while they are president and make diplomatic. English Depanment had been left still processing the investigation, although security and economic decisions. "wrecked and turned over" by the thieves, it is understood that there was a lot of Each move you make leads In who had reportedly gained access to the damage done within the building. and reaction by a party to the conflict building via some scaffolding on the personal possessions of staff were taken. or within the international building. No coursework has been reported stolen. community. The goal of the It has been alleged that the thieves The University has urged students and peacemaker is to reach gained access to the top level of the staff to close and lock env accessible compromises and eventually a RUINED: Staff reported that the department was left ransacked by the building using a ladder. One English windows or any external doors when peace agreement, leading to the thieves lecturer, %%hose monitor was stolen, said: leaving a room. establishment of a Palestinian PniriTO: Patrick Nixon state. Burak and Brown began selling the game online earlier this year under their label ImpactGames Going green gains recognition During development the) consulted with Palestinian students and also had Muslims and By Rachel Hunter environmentally friendly) through to Jews. including Palestinians and Bronze. Both Leeds University and Leeds Metropolitan were placed into Israelis, test it periodically. the silver hand. Burak said that sonic people still let bias cloud their Efforts to make Leeds University more The University's Environment judgement: "it depends how environmentally friendly have been Officer Dr Keith Pitcher said: "We're people approach it rewarded with a place on the Yorkshire pleased to be in the silver category of psychologically and what kind of and Humber Environment Index 2007. the new regional environment index. baggage they are carrying. Mane The Environment Index benchmarks This year's table was created using organisations against both their sector new, tougher criteria than last year's Israelis have said they found I peers and all the other organisations and the efforts of students and staff very difficult playing the which have participated in the Index. have been crucial in helping us achiev e Palestinian side. for example. on the basis of their environmental our award. Also, people tend to play then management and performance. "Our work to minimise the University's own side.- A voluntary excercise. the Index 'impact on the environment continues The scenarios are random, but helps organisations analyse gaps. with a big locus on our carbon many are bused on sequences of measure progress. drive improvement mimagement plan. events that have occurred between the two sides on past occasions. and raise awareness of the 'To find out more or share ideas, visit The PeaceMaker game is .being environment. Organisations are graded http7:,W1Vtl. let-d s.ac.0 Len v ironmental GREEN THINKING: The University improves environmental performance sold on the company's weholefor in terms of their environmental impact or contact 'nut environmental co- $20. It can he played in English. from Platinum (for the most ord i nun'' PHOTO Google Images Hebrew or Arabic.

e - s u eng newspaper - - : en c .rr.rm r• ' - ' y apel / News - Alex Doorey, Charlotte Griffiths & Rachel Hunter I Under the Radar Michael Wooldridge, Sam Ward & Stephan Page / Extra - James Gardiner, Jessica Parker & Matt Andrews/ Comment - Hind Hassan / Sport - Adam Lord & Ahran Symonds-Baig / Photos - Patrick Nixon & Emma Dalzell / Online - Barry Canyon / Advertising assistant - Hannah Swales / Advert design - Rebecca Edlin CoPy editors - Vicky Sharkey, Ramzy Alwakeel, & Jessica King

Leeds Student newspaper, Leeds University Union, PO Box 157, Leeds, LS1 IUH; (0113) 3801 450; [email protected]

To advertise email [email protected] Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 3 j LS Editor in clergy clone sex pervert network

By Drew Statsman prit. However. by the time officers and Tim Sevenths. reached Scholield's Hyde Park den. the place had been abandoned. Searching The reputation of Leeds Snidenr editor known Schofield hotspots. Red Leop- Ben Schofield was thrown into disre- ard. Purple Door and the Seacroft pute this week, after he was exposed as Working Man's Club, Police soon the leader of a secret sex cult, which located their man in the offices of the sees participants fornicating whilst Leeds Student newspaper where he was impersonating members of the clergy. penning a resignation letter and licking Mice were first alerted to such a cross. Pervert Schofield was arrested actions on Tuesday night when an under charges of gross sexual indecency anonymous female caller reported dis- and conspiracy to molest. covering her local vicar engaged in an Schofield was later released with a unorthodox sexual position with an caution after questioning, where police unidentified female in the Hyde Park found insufficient evidence for a con- Church.graveyard. Further investigation viction. The editor was barred from all by police revealed that suspect Rev. local churches and received a lifetime John Burrows, of Hyde Park Church. ban from all future fancy dress parties. was in fact visiting family at the time. When asked to comment Schofield said leaving police without leads regarding "I can't quit the habit" unidentified "pastor pervert-. Local vicar Rev. Anthony Editor Schofield first came under Hawthorne said of the release "It's dis- suspicion when he was caught deliver- gusting. What kind of person imperson- ing a stained cassock to a local dry. ates a man of the Lord for his own sick cleaners. Miriam Jones. 43. owner of sexual perversions" People like this Touching Cloth Dry Cleaning in Head- should be locked away for the good of ingley. claimed vicars are frequent cus- the public." A petition has been circling tomers. "Oh Nes,- she told reporters. local churches to ban the sale of dog "they're always in here. Very polite. but collars to non-clergy members and one they keep odd hours.- Schofield denied group appears to he raising a lawsuit involvement in the scandal. claiming against Schofield for defamation and that the robe was "for a fancy dress soiling the font. parry". Rumours that Schofield is rarely Since Schofield's arrest. incident invited to such parties are currently rates have fallen and Leeds' streets unconfirmed, appear to be safer to walk at night. As When further c Welke surfaced for Schofield; rumours indicate he is about Schou:10's leadership role in the seeking a new position in Kent. organisation and execution of continu- Whether or not this will involve sexual ing biblical perversions. entitled ctishes and bicarre costumes. however. PERVERT: Schofield known to flaunt his midnight mass. 'Noah's all Wet' and *The Garden of is set to he determined. PlICITC) artisi'simpreesii Hard-on" police moved to arrest the cid- Mathematically challenged i'nliyoll:ig ban

By Abid Hussain book on the subject for over [N1t S, cars." reminder James Gregory. a second year Chem- As of July I. smoking vv ill be banned in istry student said: "I think remedial all public indoor spaces in the UK. Maths classes are a good idea. I have Leeds University Union is no Universities are having to pros ide reme- always been pretty useless at Maths and exception and will he making provi- dial Maths classes to Science undergrad- a lot of the topics we cover do need a sions for the smoking ban and students uates who failed to take the subject until high level of mathematical understand- affected by the new legislation. A-level. ing." LUU are currently in discussions .According to Richard Pike, chief On whether Maths should be made with the University and Council plan- executive of the Royal Society of Chem- compulsory until 18. however. James ning authorities to upgrade existing istry tRSC), students are increasingly stated: "No. I don't think that's a good sites in and around its award winning realising that they are falling behind solution. All we need is for Science stu- bars and venues. because of a lack of understanding of A- dents to he given a few extra classes If approved. the upgrades will trans- when we get to university. There's no level Maths concepts. form current provisions into a cus- In an attack on the British education point in prospective Art undergradautes tomer-friendly space which can accom- system, Pike gave warning that Britain messing about doing Maths that they'll modate both smokers and non smokers would lose its position as world leader in never use.- with minimum discomfort to both Science to emerging Science strong- To prove the need to increase mathe- holds like China, due to a failure to take matical literacy in the UK. Pike issued a gror.11,''l' will also he launching support maths seriously. Dr. Pike called for challenge In the British public to com- services for individuals affected by the Maths to he compulsory up until 18 to plete a sample question from a Chinese smoking Ilan, providing smoking ces- stop Britain's decline in Science. university entrance exam. With correct 'anion help and awareness campaigns In a statement issued on the RSC's, answers entered into a draw to win C.500, across campus. amongst other initia- website, Pike claimed that that teachers the competition aims to highlight the dif- tives, More information regarding increasingly wanted 16-year-olds to ferences in expectations between Eng- future plans will he made available at a drop Maths in favour of perceived easier land and China. later date. A-levels to boost the position of the The challenge also included a press school in league tables. release warning of declining UK mathe- He said: "The consequence of this is matical standards and a question from an For more information contact: Democracy and Communications offi- that most universities run remedial English university first-year Maths test PUZZLED?: Science students struggle with Maths cer Mathematics courses for new Chemistry to demonstrate the difference in stan- Damola 'rimevin at commsOluttleeds.acaik students, as many have not opened a text dard. PHOTO John Puciciephat ay 4, 2007 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, m 4 Warwick targets MySpace to recruit prospective undergraduate members

an environment that they are already success was demonstrated in Augusi By Hannah Robbins medium. like other institutions a is possibility of future involvement by 3006. when MvSpere memheuhip debating whether this mode of Leeds University. used to." The success of My.Space rests reached 100 million users, advertising is beneficial for prospective Eighteen year old Louise. who is predominantly in its ability to reach a Anja Bailey, head of marketing at students or simply a cause of additional currently studying for her A-Level wide audience at fast pace. The City University said: "We need to The University ntWarwick has become administratiOn work. exams, joined the Warwick site hoping networking site is currently recognised communicate with students on their own one of the first institutions to develop a Some students have contested the to meet other people who will be as the liffh most thriving English terms if they are to buy nun ,xu- profile on the social networking wcbsite desirability of such a fonirn for new studying English Literature and French. language website in the world. This institution." MySpace_ students. Jonathan Hornsby. a third year She said: "Beginning university is a The Warwick MySpace page scary but exciting thought. Noss 1 have computing student said: "Things have al a um provides prospective students with an changed since we started Uni. I'm not added Warwick Uni I feel like it is safer interactive forum to meet and talk to sure how much difference joining up to and more familiar territory_ For me the new people who they will be living and a site before starting could make. site makes the transition a little easier." studying with. 4f11 people have added You meet people so easily at uni Sophie Grant, a PGCE student from Warwick as a friend'. with many of this anyway. Meeting and talking to new Hull said: "It's a great idea because number taking the opportunity to talk to people is what the first year is all about." most sixth form students are really SVA KA!' 11 people .signed to the same course or Some of those who are already part nervous about meeting new people." far.,.•• (SW 11.0. living in the same halls of residence. of the itfySpace and Facebor Pk She added: "I think that they will feel Leeds has not yet entered the new phenomena are enthusiastic about the really comfortable talking to people in

W wow Irtirde Leeds University Union 4amo a■Fs AOMM VS. PA ../ ./ a ,a mai RiniOM . --■ • -•••• I ....I...1..6. Student Trustees 0.1. • •

E t

S kl:::N1 s •• • UNIVERSI T-1:1-$.-.S 111VP,` • VA RW1 Students 'clueless' Leeds University Union is changing, improving, growing. We're now looking for four students to join our brand new Board of Trustees, to about contraception oversee and guide our future growth. By Chris Stevenson soaring." Veronica King, NUS Vice President of Our vision is to become the most effective Welfare added: "These results are a timely Students' Union in the UK and we see the reminder of the value of good sex educa. Trustees as critical to achieving this goal. Many students are 'completely clueless' non: clearly many more resources are need- about issues surrounding condoms and ed to impmve awareness. To ensure that the You'll be sensitive to what makes us unique: birth control according to a recent poll ear- whole student population is healthy and our focus on meeting members' needs and ned out for the Terrence Higgins trust and behaving responsibly there is more to be aspirations. our values. our commercial the National Union of Students (NUS). done in encouraging discussion and emits, success with all profits reinvested in our The survey of more than 2.200 universi- uing education on the sometimes taboo sub- ty students involved 21) questions about ject of sex and sexual health. services, and our determination to remain condoms and other forms of contraception. "There are many students who do student led. If you can think strategically; It found that more than a third of students understand and practice safe sex. Some of con challenge. support and encourage thought latex condoms had holes in them the answers may seem comic. but failing to others: and can work at the highest level large enough to allow HIV to pass through, practice safe sex is no joke which is why more than one in 10 did not know how to NUS is pleased to be working with the Ter- - we want to hear from you. put a condom on properly and I6 per cent rence Higgins Trust and to play our role in thought that using two condoms at once raising awareness of this vital issue." was safer than using just one. The Trust is petitioning the government Alarmingly. almost a quarter of students for a reform in sex education in schools to believe that forms of contraception other allow the compulsory teaching of issues than condoms protect from STIs. Seven surrounding sex and relationships. rather respondents thought that condoms could be than just the biology of c:onception: it has washed and re-used. collected 5,000 signatures on the issue, Commenting on the survey Lisa Power. Responding to the issue Faye Peters. Head of Policy at Terrence Higgins Trust second year biology student. agreed that Find out more about this unique said: "University students are no smarter more needed to be done in schools: "I can I opportunity by going to than many other young people when it believe some of the answers to these ques- www.luuonline.com/trustees or comes to sexual health, They are just as tions, it makes me feel uncomfortable Ito phoning 0113 3801 207 (24hrs) likely to believe myths about condoms and there is so little knowledge about. People for an information pack to have got more of their sex education in need to be taught properly." the playground than the classroom. We Paul Foley, a fast year engineering stu- spend a fortune educating students, but dent said: "How stupid are some of thoe r leave them ignorant about key issues in answers? I know it's riot a laughuigrnane their adult lives. It's hardly surprising that but I think there is enough information out rates of sexually transmitted infections are there for people to see." 5 Leeds Student wwwleedsstuctent.org.uk Friday. May 4, 2007 dews

Daydream non-believer By Rachel Hunter

mg about us. IS: Religion is often quite a big thing on IS And not having Christmas would be IS: Have you had a lot of interest? campus. with lots of powerful societies. rubbish, Name: Chris Worfoik CW: For the talks today and yesterday it Do you think this is a bad thing? CW: Yeah. Occupation: President of was packed in here. Things were a hit CW: Not necessarily. but I think there LS: Do you think a world without reli- the Atheist Society slow to start. with people getting back was a balance that needed to he redressed gion would he a better place? from the holidays but it's really picked and that's what A-soc's role should he - CW: Probably. but people have a need up now. there are plenty of people who don't for something like religion. and some- LS: Have you been enjoying the sun- have faith. thing probably needs io till that gap. but I shine? IS: Is that why you decided to set up the don't think religion is the only thing that We've got CW: Yeah it's been great. The A-soc society? could fill it. 6 events have a history of being cursed by CW: I just became more and more inter- I think the. one thing most of our members bad weather, so it's been really good this ested in religion and the impart it's hav- members agree on is that a more secular week. ing on society. This was something I country would be a vast improvement - it who are Christian LS: You're a fairly new society - what wanted to be involved with. and I would he beneficial if we could make and Muslim - exactly are your beliefs? thought that there were so many secular decisions on issues such as abortion and CW: It's about having a society to repre- students that needed to be represented. stem cell research without the involve- things can get sent atheists within the student body and LS: What kind of events do you hold? ment of religion. quite heated. also to promote rational thinking, We've CW: We normally have weekly meet- LS: Who is your hero? been going since January and at the ings on a Tuesday evening where we CW: Sam Harris (American Author of moment we've got about 30 official have talks and debates. We've got mem- 'The End of Faith') - he's so passionate members. bers who are Christian and Muslim - about the subject and you can feel that IS: So. another week, another society in /S: What's the difference between athe- we've got a completely open member- through his writing. He's a real inspira- the big tent. ism and rationalism? ship. Things do get quite heated. tion to me. CW: Well, one of the biggest problems CW: Atheism is simply a lack of belief in IS: Do you celebrate Christmas? for us is that nobody knows about us, God. Rationalism is more of a positive CW: I celebrate them as secular holi- The Atheist Society meets on Tuesdays we've only been around for a few stance believing that we should apply days, I don't particularly observe any- at 6pm in the LUU Green Action Zone. months. Now with everyone walking science and reasoning to everything in thing religious about them. You can past the marquee. people have been talk- life. The most important aspect is to study the Bible without believing in God. question everything. It's a similar thing.

The heart of 21ST CENTURY STUDENT LIVING student living IN LEEDS 7N BOOK NOW AT vr-0 A, TV1E PLAZA.' it2 "•41 4, ,. 4 k i j STARTING FROM TS.COM 1. • —.... WWW.11141TE-SUDEN ...,.. OR CALL 0113 245 8363 _ n per U wee roans a it.-r-4

Lek II t' I I '1 . 4 T MISS OUP.

CALL: 0113 245 11117' 411 nr ties and Internet

*PtItv thwrm tglilul to ftailatelity &ft! tar. netted ;lewd eery. Ckil 0113 7L5113113 FoUIV.1,1 sn9 t'thiliqmh; 111.40y. Sit ■re,Joltimitudants can for turthil dotaiii Urban Lifestyle ✓ Friendly People le Student Living ✓ In great locations 01? NMI Itr 111-'IP with vow Theirds 6 Leeds Student www.leecisstudent.org.uk Friclay,May 4, 2007 News Last ever University Royal Salute awarded to Leeds Training Corps

By Tom Sprigge availability of such equipment for units such as Leeds UOTC will become increasingly limited. Junior Under Officer Matt Gourdin. a third year History student at Leeds highlighted how important Leeds. t nisersai Officers' Training the event will be to the members of Corps liaS been chosen as the only the troop. he said: "It is a great OTC group in England to fire a honour for any Officer Cadet to be Royal Salute this summer, and ii is asked to represent their University likely that they will be the last to do Officers' Training Corps by taking so due to military budget cuts. part in a Royal Salute, To mark the Birthday of the Duke "At a time when guns are an of Edinburgh on June 11. students invaluable asset to our forces on from Leeds University: Offieers' operations, it is a particular Training Corps will he starting their privilege.- summer training with a bang when Despite the shortage of Guns lor 26 members of the Contingent's the Troop to train with. JUO Gourdin Royal Artillery Troop fire a 'Twenty is confident that the day will he a One Gun Salute' from four 105mm success. he added: "We have never Light Guns. liven in a position where the The es Oil will take place at of guns has affected our midday emu. tly in the York Museum preparation," Gardens. It a ill he the second time in Members of the Troop will attend recent years that students front Leeds a specialist three day course prior to University have been choSen to take the Salute to ensure that the day goes part in a Royal Salute. It will he n without a hitch. Officer Cadet Fiona particularly significant event for the Bailey. a third year Medical student Yorkshire training division as it said: "It's a fantastic opportunity io could well be the last time that a represent both Leeds LIOTC and the UOTC Gun Troop fires a Royal University and definitely not one Salute in the foreseeable Future. that arises every day.• As operations continue in Afghanistan. equipment such as the Light Gun and its ammunition are For more information about LUOTC and events visit: increasingly required in theatre or for training regular soldiers prior to their www,army.mod.ukfluoteijoin.him deployment. This means that the Skills board launched Evolution to

By Laura Mackenzie the infrastructure of the current existing workforce. employment system. Professor Steve Scott, a pro-Vice The Leeds Skills Board will he Chancellor at Leeds University. is close its doors working with universities and colleges, representative on the Board and is a including the University of Leeds, to voice for the Careers, Skills and A new board established by the Leeds cis' which are on sale for 16 and are improve skills and business training Buckles Centres. as well as for By Rachel Hunter Chamber of Commerce is to target available from Citrus, Hyde Park Pub. and assess how they can improve both undergraduates as a whole. skills shortages in Leeds and change Revolution Electric Press, Varsity. the system at entry level. and the The group emerged after die Leeds Edwards, University Hall Reps. Report, published in December 2006, www,takingliberties.com and on showed that there were massive skills After six years of playing host to thorn- 011327560X shortages in the city. and that this was sands of clabbers and some of the l00 limited edition exclusive VIP affecting people's job prospects. The biggest club nights around, Evolution is tickets are priced at 115. and entitle VIP Leeds Chamber of Commerce decided closing iLs doors for the last time. guests to fast track entry. complimenta- to establish the Board in an aim to The Leeds club, which featured huge ry champagne and canapes. as well as change this. student and specialist dance brands such Access to the refurbished Moroccan The Board has the hacking of both as Sundissential and Vodka Nation- boudoir. These are also available from the Learning Skills Council and Leeds wide, is putting on what it has described the Taking Liberties office on City Council. both prominent as "the mother of all send offs", hosted 01 132756000. institutions in the city, and is to he by its flagship Saturday night event *I given the seal of approval by Sir Digby Love S.E.X,' on Saturday May 26. Jones. the government's 'skills envoy' With a special 6pm to 6am license. on May 9. the club will open its doors to 3.000 Alan Gill. President of 'Leeds people and will offer £1 drinks offers. Chamber of Commerce, said: "As three music arenas, special performance employers we need to influence the artists, fire breathers and entertainers. skills and workforce development Guests will also be provided with an agenda of the city. Leeds Chamber outdoor 1311Q, chocolate fountains and a have acted as a catalyst and brought the karaoke bar. The whole event is being Skills Board together. As a group we hinted live and will be free to download haven) drive the promotion of skills in at www.takingliberties.com. Leeds if our businesses are to continue There is still some good news for to grow and the city to prosper." Evoluton fans though: over the summer. The information that follows as a the club will undergo a 1,1.7 million result of the Board will he available to refit and will reopen as a new superclub. 1111 organisations that deal with featuring luxury rooftop gardens, planning and delivery of education and The renovation will make the venue LAST DANCE: Evo closes its doors DOING BUSINESS: Business students are just one group that will benefit training in Leeds. the biggest club in the North. There are from the board PHOTO Patrick Nixon 1,000 limited edition 'Earlybird Tick- PHOTO: Google images Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 7 News Uni warns students of 'fraudulent malpractice' proof-reading risk

By Charlotte Griffiths use of such websites could incur seri- ous penalties: "Malpractice is defined as a candidate's attempt to mislead or deceive the examiners concerning the A controycr.ual new internet based work submitted for assessment. The roc) e- ciciung-Servic e. ore proof reading service has been con- penalties for malpractice can be very demned by University administrators. severe." -&says thes.es, iourn.0 papers, s and other nrot.lvional 0.mo_mis The website based company called The website's strict privacy regula- 'Proof-Reading-Service.org' has been tions pose a problem for University seeking business by mass c-mailing administrators aiming to curb the use Home students, offering to provide "profes- of the service by students. The home sional proofreading services exclusive- page reads: "Proof-Reading- Proof-Reading-Service.org provides professional proofreading services exclusively for students ly for students. professionals and busi- Service.org takes client privacy seri- professionals and businesses We are a dedicated provider of Academic Proofreading Services an ously and we treat everything you nesses." The proof reading facility Editing Services for essays. dissertations, PhD theses, journal papers. books, and job applications covers a wide range of academic proj- send us in the strictest confidence. One month after the work has been com- including curriculum vitae and covering letters Proof-Reading-Service.org also proofreads ects including editing for essays. dis- PowerPoint presentations. memos. websites. brochures. business plans. novels poems. short stori, sertations. PhD theses. journal papers, pleted we delete any trace of the docu- and other professional documents. job applications. PowerPoint presenta- ments on our system. Files are trans- toME tions. poems and even short stories. ferred over a secure network." intIT us The service has received criticism Kitty Walley, a History student who Your document is proofread using the 'track changes" function of Microsoft Word. This is a slandarC from those who believe that it gives an has recently completed her disserta- aVICL5 function installed in most versions of Microsoft Wort This function allows you to move easily betwe( tion, believes that the threats by admin- changes and accept any or all modifications proposed by the proofreader Corrections. suggestionl unfair advantage to those who can T WORKS afford to financially aid their academic istrators would not outweigh the bene- and comments are shown in the nghl-hand margin and are easy to accept into your document success. The cost per thousand words fits of having work proof read. She RILES said: " Pieces of work can often benefit Proof-Reading-Service org is very selective when hiring proofreaders. We do not employ faceless is £6.95. A university spokesperson TACT US said: "The University would consider from an objective eye. After a while, . . contract proofreaders. at Proof-Reading-Service.org we personally select our proofreaders, and ea, use of such a service as a means of you get ton used to what you have writ- is highly respected in the proofreading field. All of our proofreaders are native English speakers, fraudulently attempting to gain an ten to he able to proof read properly. educated at least to Masters level some hold a PhD) with extensive university teaching and unfair advantage in a University "I got my Dad to have a look examining experience. assessment, Work amended through through my dissertation, but if the web use of a service such as this would site claims that their proof readers are We stnve to provide an effective service and give you 100% satisfaction_ If you are unhappy with an mean that the work submitted would he educated to Masters or PhD level with aspect of our service we will refund your money or proofread your document again gratis. a misrepresentation of the individual's university leaching and examining own material and any eases- would he experience. so I think that it' people The security of your documents is guaranteed by Proof-Reading-Service org Files are transferred knew that the uni could not find out. dealt with under procedures for han- over a secure network and after one calendar month your documents will be deleted. dling Malpractice in University and they had enough cash. they would definitely use the site to get more Assessment." PROOF READING WEBSITE: A danger to academic integrity? marks." The spokesperson added that any PHOTO. www.proof-reading-servfee.org Performances for Celebrate Good at shopping, but Week take to the streets losers in style stakes

By Victoria Newman phones, and a couple of fairly enthusiastic been busy this year Kith concerts and hits By Jess Geen student Beth Fume said: "My sister thinks members of the public who were keen to of new repertoire. We are going to be car- Leeds is mote experimental, but I think it's take part. It was hound to be a recipe for rying this on next year and hope to make a more Fano. In Liverpool. everyone looks hilarity. but it was a fantastic experience for big name for the choir." the same and it-s not as experimental_ But they do spend a lot on clothes. it's all very all the members of OpeniSoc who were The day. finished with the Bellydancing A survey has found that Leeds residents As part of the second annual 'Celebrate Li p-to-the.niinute." involved. society dancing unde the afternoon sun. The spend the most on clothes but are the least Week', LuLl's performing societies put on The top ten worst-dressed cities were: I She added:"It was awesome to bring event was broadcast live on LSRfin and DJs fashionable. a show in the centre of Leeds. Plymouth: 2 Aberdeen; 3 Leeds; 4 Leices- opera literally into the centre of the commu- provided tunes between acts. Known as 'the Knightsbridge of the The event is part of the week-long cele- ter, 5 Glasgow; 6 Southampton: 7 Edin- nity; and to draw the crowd that we did. Rebecca Reyes, LUU development co- North'. it's no surprise that a survey has bration of student activities and marks the burgh: 8 Swansea: 9 Cambridge: 10 Nor- goes some way to prove the diversity and ordinator and organiser cif the event, said: shown that Leeds residents spend more end of a busy and successful year for all the wich. attraction of opera" "It's gone extremely well and I am so proud money on clothes than any other city. performing societies. The top ten best dressed cities were: Artists from the popular 'Dance Expose' of all the societies which took part and espe- Despite this. the .survey fOund the Leeds is The aim was to highlight the achieve- I :London: 2:Cardiff; 3: Newcastle; show perkirmed dances from their sell-out cially to backstage society us they have the third worst-dressed city in the country.. ments of various societies over the past aca- 4:Sheffield: 5:Belfast; feBristol; 7: Liver- show 'Make Room' on a stage in front of been here with me since half seven this The survey of 3000 people was con- demic year. An organiser said:" we want to pool: 8:Nottingham; 9:Manchester: the Victoria Quarter. Acoustic performanc- morning. Despite a few crazy people in ducted by fashion website www.missbut- say a big 'thank you' to everyone involved 10:Binningharn. es were also given by members of Band Soc Leeds the event has been a huge success tertly.co.uk. It also showed that London is in student activities and to everyone that and Leeds University Union Music Society and a great opportunity for our performing helps to make LUU such a vibrant organisa- the most stylish city. with 38 per cent of res- Chamber Choir. Victoria Ford, one of the societies to showcase their work in the city" idents- already, owning new sprinwsummer tion" Chamber Choir managers. said: "We have Students performed works from their clothing. Leeds was beaten to the dubious recent sell-out shows. Casts from the Musi- gliiry of worst-dressed city only by Ply- cal Theatre societies show •Wild Party and mouth and Aberdeen. the Stage Musical Society's show 'Witches Lauren Smith. a second year German r..t1 Eta/wick' performed for a mixed audi- student said: "I spend more on clothes than ence of ,,hlippers and Leeds residents. Toby loud at the moment. but that depends on Fox. co-manager of MT and dinx:tor of The when the tom comes through. I mainly buy Witches of Eastwick, said: "The Musical high street and vintage. I think people in Theatre Society had four grand of debt Hyde Park air better dressed than in Neal. when we took over and now we have paid it ineley. Some people heir are badly dressed. All off and earnt a grant to set up the society but not everyone is comparable. for next year. so it has been a mega success- "People who weal pyjamas in the shops ful year for us." and hotly warmers are offensive to a certain Elaine Tate. Opera Society President, degree. I get shouted at in the street when I said: "We sang extracts from 'Carmen' on a wear hats though. I've been to Sheffield, mini stage in the centre of Briggate, under and in my opinion, they dress a kit worse CELEBRATE WEEK: performers sing and dance outside the Victoria Quarter HAPPY SHOPPERS: can money buy the glaring sun, with fairly tangled micro- than people in Leeds do." taste in Leeds? 10 PHOTO:Patnck Nixon Second year English and History of Art PHOTO:Patrick Nixon 8 Leeds Studentwww.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

Under the Radar Babies developing resistance to HIV treatment

By Michael Wooldridge are treatable by using ARVs that act drugs (ARVel in the developing world In sth-Saharan Africa, up to as Protease inhibitors. These, such as is another matter however, that has 46% of pregnant women are Kaletra. act in such a way that they provoked further issues. Poverty is idected with HIV, and approx- inhibit the protease used by the HI equated by many as a social problem, imately 35% of their children virus, and thus diminish HIV, and inextricably linked to HIV/AIDS. increase the CD4 count. Swaziland is just an example. with 33 wit be born infected because It has recently emerged that children Abbott. a Chicago based pharma- per cent of its adult population cur- of motherito-child transmis- horn to HIV positive mothers can also ceutical company, who make Kaletra, rently HIV positive. sion of HIV be left positive yet undetected for is famed for its pioneering develop- The problem in developing coun- years. The Human Immunodeficiency ment of ARVs. Kaletra. if taken along tries arises from the widening divide Virus that can develop into Acquired side other ARVs is thought to he over private and public health. Due to Immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) extremely effective in fighting the the stigma attached to HIV infection is known to he able to develop in virus. and thus treatment. many people. who order to become resistant to Anti. However. this is not without prob- can afford private treatment. search Retroviral drugs (ARVs) that are pre- lem. In 2006. Abbott came under fire for ARVs in the private sector. The scribed to right the disease. Newly from activist groups such as the Stu- Public sector is known for it's superi- horn babies are treated with thaws at dent Global AIDS campaign, Act up, ority in knowledge over the treatment birth, and thus limiting the spreading and Doctors without Border as they of HIV, yet the pri ■rte sector is of HIV from mother to child by 75 campaigned for larger dissemination increasing in it's dispensation of the percent. ■et in the developing world. of their ARV product, lower pricing ARVs. the sit Lal Illn remains Very different. and a paediatric version. Since then. Where private services come under A recent report in the Journal of Abbott have produced a child.friendly criticism is the lack of education and Infectious diseases has stated that five version of the drue that is administra- atteni ion to the intricacies of both out of the 21 children they surveyed ble as an oral solution. and has heen treatment and the disease. For exam, were HIV positive with a strain of the effective in the areas that It has treat- pie, many people - who receive pri- disease that proved to he resilient to ed. Furthermore, Abbott claim to have vate treatment - are unaware of the A,RVs that were 'transcriptase made a price commitment regarding fact that ARVs don't immunise. or inhibitors'. There were not immune. Less Economically Developed coun- cure HIV. and furthermore, some peo- however, to Protease inhibitors such tries, and middle income areas, lower- ple are advised against treatment by as Ahbottenanufactured Kaletra, as ing the price for annual treatment to 'traditional healers'. Equally, the the passing of HIV call allow for the $500 for LEDCs. and $1000 for mid• administering of the drugs front pri- disease's development. dle income countries. vate health teams have been NH2 The HI virus attacks the (1)4 IT) However, in March this year, described, by a treatment report in H OH cells that play an integral part in Abbott came under further charge as Harare, Zimbabwe, as "therapeutic immune it withdrew its supply of its drugs to anarchy," where little regard is taken systems. Once in the 03.4 cells. HIV Thailand where about 600.000 people for the complexities that are involved makes copies of itself and eventually are HIV positive. Thailand allegedly in prescribing the correct combination H destroys the immune system. Once an contravened the 'international intel- of ARVs. and very often the private 0"9 infected person has a CD4 count as lectual property rights' of Abbott. by suppliers haven't received the CD4 0 2 low as 200 per square millimetre, Ii1C- generating their own generic version CI'? count or Viral load results, thus person is diagnosed with AIDS, Other of Kaletra. Thailand. who have a GDP prescribing a treatment that is unsuit- Ph symptoms or related disease are Pneu- per capita of around $2700. are. able for that patient at that time. monia. Tuberculosis and Toxoplas- despite Abbott's new pricing This eager prescription of AR Vs is mosis. all of sti 1-11C11 are indeed possi- schemes, still in the bracket of middle problematic for the treatment and lim- ble for an HIS negati‘e person to income countries which means that iting of spreading the disease. because catch, although it is unlikely. Texo- Kaletra costs $1000 per person per HIV can and is becoming resilient to plasmoses, if left to develop can cause year in Thailand, Sex workers are the the treatment often prescribed. This in problems such as sever sight blurring. demographic group that suffer the turn inhibits the treatment process due but fundamentally. it causes damage most from HIV in Thailand. and it is to a constant need to find new treat- to the brain. A person with a healthy often pointed out that the majority of ment, and also makes the disease - in immune system and an HIV negative work for these sex workers comes the mean time- open to further devel- HIV virus: Protease is a key status would normally he able to from the opment. It therefore becomes an enzyme in the HIV reproduction west. Thailand issued a complaint to uphill struggle for medical compa- process. Protease inhibitors are immunise themselves against to x o- target-specific, and the HIV virus plasmosis. the WHO demanding that they alluss nies, the countries that suffer from mutates quickly to become resist- The Reverse Transcriptase governments to issue their own ver- very high HIV rates and the infected ant to such specific treatments. Inhibitors that some of the new horn sion of the drug. against this ever spreading disease. To combat this, new molecules babies remain resistant against. act by Yet, the dispensation of Kaletra is With medical companies needing have to he developed constantly. inhibiting the action of reverse trim- spreading. Of the 115 countries that to make profit for further develop- scriptase. This action, if left uninhibit- Kaletra - known as Aluvira. a heat ment, and this in the mean time. along ed. enables the accommodation of the resistant type of Kaletra, used specifi- with social factors in developing HI virus. allowing for duplication and cally in developing countries - is countries, indirectly encouraging a thus development of the disease. either a proposal or a reality. 76 are development of the disease, the future However, these babies that have using the drug. of HIV is certain, but worrying. developed the resistant strain of HIV The dispensing of Anti-Retroviral

Police generate commu- Student 'Crack den' at 236 Micrafinanciers target Farewell from Under Also in the news nity cohesion in Leeds Kirkstall Lane HIV in Africa The Radar Football for the under 17s has become a Rumours of an illegal crack den operat- Microimance institutions are helping to This is the last issue of Leeds Student for new project for the Neighbourhood ing in the Headingley area of Leeds fight the pandemic. AIDS, that is partic- this academic year. As such. this is the last Policing Teams in Hyde Park, Heading- have risen due to abnormal activity. ularly prevalent in sub-Saharan Africa. Under the Radar issue for 2006/7. There ley and the surrounding area. The so- The house. 236 Kirkstall Lane. is The financiers offer micro loans as little has been a wide variety of international called "Fair Play" project encourages 9- inhabited by Leeds students, yet you as $15, which helps communities build and domestic issues. ranging from Iranian 13 and 14.17 year-olds to engage in com- would he forgiven for assuming the up their own economy from a small yet women's football to prostitution in Leeds. munity issues. The first tournament, on inhabitants were some kind of drug stable base. The loans - due to their The intention behind Under the Radar, a I I th April. saw Woodhouse 9-13 year- hungry criminals. Noticeable events in small nature, have an unusually high rate new addition to Leeds Student, has been olds beat Tinshill. I-0. and the Little Lon- the past year have been excessively of repayment at 98 per cent. However, to report with integrity issues relating to don side win a separate penalty-kick loud 'Jungle' music accompanied by HIV and AIDS are paying detriment to Leeds and general news that has escaped shoot out competition. The event, which strange animal sounds and loud bang- the companies as repayments are com- the main papers. A further motivation has is sponsored by Leeds Federation Hous, ing. Most days the curtains are not pleted between 65 and 86 per cent due to been to get the readership involved. As ing, was described by one Police partici- raised. and the housemates are rarely ill health. As a result of this loss of Under the Radar reappears next year, pant, PC Cryer, as the best youth commu- seen leaving except for under suspis- income, the MFIs are implementing edu- please feel free to get more involved by nity event by far; "It was well attended, cioue circumstances. However, there cation schemes and workshops to inform suggesting or responding to issues or arti- well behaved and entertaining for every- have been spottings of world class foot- potential borrowers about the ins and cles. one involved." ballers playing in the backyard. outs of the virus.

Under the Radar is a weekly round-up of national and global news that hasn't hit the headlines. To get in touch with the sub editors with story ideas or feedback, email radarelsweb.org.iik Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 9 ratra extra

12 'How are we doing?'

LS Extra sends Paul Raymond to review the changes brought about through IA 'U's own review: what were their plans for the Union. what changes have they made and where have they failed')

Facebook

Sam Jenkins takes a look at the Facchook phenomenon and the peculiar mechenics that makes it so popular and so effective at draining student marks.

UNSAFE?: Shishas condemned to be a casualty in the smoking ban?

ost students in Leeds would Road's darkly lit smoking joints was Smoking on their premises could be not be able to comprehend transformed into a modern vogue: a fined anything up to (2,500, a. move Mmeeting friends at the Terrace celebrity must have accessory. From which Simon Clark, head of the smok- and being refused a pint of Stella. or apple to mint to banana. it is a fad that ing support croup Forest, described as the Old Bar no longer legally consent- has recently spread throughout the UK, 'illiberal'. claiming that the hest way to ing to the consumption of alcohol with- reaching the dusky streets of our very combat smoking issues was not to deny in their confines. banishing revellers to own Hyde Park and the bright lights of people the right to consume a legal swig their pints outside or in the priva- Leeds city centre. Fitting into the city's product but to educate the public on the Pipe cy of their homes. Yet the equivalent, popular coffee culture, the laid hack health risks from a young age. according to countless shisha smokers, North African and Lebanese themed It is a notion Omar Shtewi. a final as of July 1, will be reality. Many will cafes have provided an alternative to year Middle Eastern studies student no longer have the option of puffing on the wired club and pub scenes. But endorses: -this is a violation of our a hookah pipe or two, due to the Health Shisha Chic has been hotted almost as civil liberties. interesting how we have Bill which is to be introduced this sum- fast in its tracks as it took off due to had the decision Made for us as to mer. soon-to-he-imposed ban on public whether we have the choice to smoke Though the origin of shisha - also smoking. in designated environments yet the dreams? known as Argila in the Middle East or The imminent demise of shisha cul- politicians have chosen to allow smok- more simply here, a Hookah - is much ture provides the perfect excuse for one ing inside Parliament; it's just emblem- debated, it is thought to have emanated who has indulged in its delights atic governmental hypocrisy.- he says. The impending smoking ban is from Persia or India where it was used throughout university and on various whilst simultaneously blowing large about to come into effect and it's to inhale opium and hashish. Today it treks around Middle Eastern countries, hoops towards the ceiling. is symbolic for the rustic Middle East- to rally some friends for some research Yet the government believe the pros not just tobacco smokers under ern cafes where locals and tourists of into a centuries-old tradition. First stop outweigh the cons as they estimate it all ages congregate to participate in is Saffron, an Iranian restaurant near will encourage around 600.01/1 to quit. .Assan examines the 'social smoking'. There was a time Leeds' Outdoor Market. With a multi- Pro shisha lobby fists believe that this threat. when the image of a middle aged Ara- tude of flavours on offer, including should not include flavoured tobacco case for and against banning bian-looking man gulping the sweet grape and lemon, ills more famous for as no extensive research has been car- flavoured tobacco through a reservoir its kebabs then their pipe, which gives ried out as to its effects. Currently the shisha smoking and wonders how of water was looked upon with discon- the impression the ban won't have a only areas outlined by the Health Bill tent. Yet the mellow relaxing fumes drastic effect on business. The blanket exempt front the ban are "premises business in Leeds will be affected. soon drew a legion of aficionados. ban means that any premises such as where a person has his home. or is .Soon the seedy image of Edgware Saffron that continue to allow shisha living whether permanently or 10 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Behind

CALCULATED RISK: Shisha bars like this could be forced to change their business after the July rulings come into effect. PHOTO: EMMA DALZELL

Ara temporarily I including hotels. care Edgware Road in London_ Thus having transformed our business into a health Dish and Nancy Ajram. The waiter. homes and prisons. and other an added significant deneineritel effect spit" Customers noe can in for a face greeting us in Arabic, responded to our places w here a person my he to the majority of local businesses .; lift and manicure mislead of a mint and "Well known for q alums about how such a method could detained]". Med within the local area :ire nut apple flavoured shisha. "'It's going real- possibly take off in a country notorious "It's just ridiculous, no-one 15 tql1(1 involved in the tibodlit Nnioing Inki- ly well. It's a little strange now Offering their Middle for its sporadic and dreary weather. He go into a shisha café without eNpecting ness, but who depend on this attraction laser eye treatments and combating the informed us that they were looking into people to he smoking there. they- are to draw people to the local communi- effects smoking has on people's skin Eastern, South the possibility of providing outdoor specifically designated smoking areas. ty." instead of encouraging it. but it's the American and heaters to combat this problem. It is a n It kk mild he like banning smok Ina in Edgware Road. or 'little Cairo' as it only option 'we felt we had." She goes idea that has already heen executed in Sour Own room. MushirtiN vspee tally is known to its Meals. is hued a ith Ara- on to explain that a few acquaintances African visitors, sonic Scottish pubs. where the smoking are cuing to he affected by this as it is a bic restaurants and shisha cafes. Well are hoping the erection of a marquee at ban came into play last year Thetnove substitute for those who don't drink known for ats Middle Eastern Ilk-1H- the front of cafes will eo some way to every business has already come under attack by many alcohol.- says Marpain Albasra with Sonth .American and keeping the smoking culture alive. environmentalists because of the claim Leeds Ifni% ersity student mid teeithil African s isiters almost as common. The new leg 'slalom states Hirai in 'little Cairo' that it has caused an increase in harm- cale dweller who is so incensed by the every business sill the densely populat- smoking •camaii take place a nimi an Jai gases by 300.000 tonnes. Some proposed ban that she has pot her name ed mad will he affected in June due to enclosed or substautially enclosed area. will be affected MPs have already called for a complete to an online petition which will be pre. the potentially high loss of revenue the latter which has been defined as an ban on the use of outdoor patio heaters. seared to the government. It currently from tourists and locals_ Stich is the area surrounded hr three walls which in June due to it is not just Middle Easterners who boasts over 5,500 signatures. with the threat that many have already trans- would include tents and balconies. For have joined the great shisha debate. number significantly increasing oil a formed the market direction of their our next slop we decided to try out the potentially Rosalyn Newell. a Leeds University daily basis. The original Downing business. Helen Murray, manager of musk:an:a a popular Manchester stu- Erasmus student currently in Germany. Street &petition. submitted by Hussein the previously popular CafC Le dent shisha hangout s' !Itch provided high loss of rev- Opposes the ban on shisha although she Jajbahay. has its own complimentary Musique. ti■-t‘s Ws a sad situation for outdoor facilities Though there is enue from supports the overall ban on smoking. group on the popular networking web- Edgware Road and that it will very clearly potential for its popularity over is over-adherence to the -law. It' you in- site Facehook outlinining that to ban likely lose its appeal to tourists. I'vliddle summer it takes no more then 15 m tourists and go to a shisha bar. it is what you expect. shisha eafes from operating is not only -Easterners. South American and utes of US shivering in the cold northern It isn't comparable to puts smoking as it to remove an integral, u and con- African dwellers: "I know some are breezes to make our way into the warm locals." just isn't as gross. the room doesn't tributory pail of Middle Faistern and keeping their cafes and hoping busi- smoky environment of the dully lit smell like an ashtray after...I support Arabic culture Ilona British society. bLIS ness will keep afloat w oh the evpan- decorated room,: with a fio the smoking ban. My eyes really salter also to el !Cc ti+, ely remove the anrae- stun of menus but we didn't scant to Inch LCD screen playing music by From the smoke whenever I go ton here lion and appeal of these areas (such itti take that risk. which is why we have popular Arabic singers such as Arnir in Germany because the women smoke

Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 11 Behind FN-sra so much to stay thin. Its disgusting. It's filter before being inhaled. The Depart- database would allow smoking to take draining resources that could be used also nice not to come home with my ment of Health stated that "Smoking place are unfounded. Though initially for other non-self-inflicted illnesses. clothes stinking. Plus smoking is a sign any tobacco product is harmful to your "A regular user of it was to be the case. LI motion was The only way such a smoking ban of terrible self-discipline and in such health. We are not aware of any current passed to delete the section which would work is if all angles and poten- cases the state should step in" she says. evidence on the specific health impacts waterpipes usual- would have meant only a partial ban. tial loopholes arc covered. If shisha Although Akrarn Salhah, a first year of shisha/hookah but know that other As it is, members-only establishments were made exempt then pubs would no politics student, enjoys participating in countries have commissioned some rel- ly smokes over are covered by the legislation. The last doubt change to shisha cafes and pro- 'the odd puff he disagrees with evant research." One of those countries dashing of hope. it appears, comes in vide their customers with the option of Newell's reasoning. "I love shisha so is Egypt where the World Health an average 2-3 the Corm of hoping for some sort of smoking hookah pipes." Manning also don't really want it to be harmed, but I organisation (WHO) regional office for loophole in the wording of the final believes that. no matter what your per- agree with the smoking ban and don't the Eastern and Mediterannean sessions per clay. document: as the hill only currently sonal opinions are. it is also logical that see why shisha Kars should be treated released a study detailing the magni- covers tobacco. many cafe owners are private members' clubs fall under the differently. The reasons I support the tude of waterpipe smoking. Shisha can looking into the possibility of using same scrutiny. "Imagine it' they were ban are centred around the issue of the be bought and smoked with ridiculous This translates herbal alternatives, though it is feared exempt: pubs, bars and clubs would effects it has on people's health. There- ease and at economical prices in one of that the ban will also include all make extensions or have specifically fore for me the argument boils down to the world's most popular tourist loca- into the equiva- molasses products. designated rooms where people could whether or not shisha has the some tions. Multitudes of cafés, open until Sarah Manning. a second year art sign up onto a database and smoke. The detrimental effect in terms of passive dawn, line the Nile and are found on lent of more than year student, is a little more philosoph- only way such legislation would he smoking: if it does then it should he every corner of every street and mar- ical about the whole issue. enjoy viable, effective or enforceable is by banned, if it doesn't then there it should ket. The study outlines that "waterpipe one pack of ciga- smoking shisha, it relaxes one and I having a ban on everything with no he excluded from the ban." smoking is characterized by less fre- would love to he to have the option of exceptions." The owner of Moorish Cafe just off quent exposure (one to four sessions rettes per session continuing what I believe to be my only From speaking to cafe owners and Hyde Park does not believe the ban will per day) lin Egypt] but with a much vice. but saying that, I agree vs ith the businesses it appears that if you have a have much of a detrimental effect on more intense exposure per session for most water- smoking ban in general. People should penchant for smoking sweet-flavoured his business due to the alternatives he which varies between 15 and 90 min- not have to inhale secondary smoke, it tobacco, you probably can sit outside has to offer. "We have film nights and utes. The uptake of tobacco nicotine is pipe smokers." has been proven to increase the risk of the odd cafe. but the petitions and the will he expanding our menus, in fact equis alert to 2-12 cigarettes per por- cancer tenfold, and that is an issue that outcry will no doubt fall on deaf ears. I've even produced it flyer w hick states tion of tobacco used (sagas). A regular must be taken seriously. Smoking relat- There is always a much simpler option • if you can't heat them. join them!"' It user of waterpipes usually smokes sev- ed diseases and fatalities have placed a for die-hard addicts. buy your own and is a positive attitude the manager of Le eral hagar per session and on average heavy burden on our health system. smoke at home. Tranqui I le, a central Lebanese hangout. smokes 2—t sessions per day. This shares. "EN hale in Bradford have had translates into an intake of nicotine to sell up as about OM of their profits equivalent to more than one pack of comes from shisha so they'll be losing cigarettes per session for most water- out massively whereas I'd say it pipe smokers. However. it is known www.graduatesyorkshire.info/recruitmentfair accounts for about 305 of my business that waterpipe smoking produces more so it's nor too had We're primarily a smoke than cigarette smoking. and it cafe and we've already started drafting has been estimated that smoke expo- a new menu. We did initially speak to sure could be as much as 111(1-200 cig- lawyers to see if there's any way arettes per session." Though shisha around it but we have been informed smoking is not its regular amongst otherwise." smokers in the UK. its use has so rapid- Ka bee r Hussain. Liberal Democrat ly increased over the past few years FP iyorkshire graduate councillor and lead member tier Adult that it would only he a matter of time Health ond social care in the Hyde Park before consumption by users catches and Woodhouse area understands the up with that of the Middle East. ..dih recruitment fair ban will have an effect on business in The paper goes on to report that his constituency. "It's a tricks one. "survey (4'15950 adults revealed a sig- appreciate the problem they had them- nificantly greater prevalence of abdom- selves in. but shisha fall within the inal obesity among waterpipe smokers smoking policy, that is very dear. compared to non-smokers." But it also Restaurants and takeaways where peo- highlights the inadequate levels of Thursday 7 June ple smoke is not it very good environ- research into es ploring such results. ment for children. Pubs. clubs and even One of the rare pieces of scientific 11am - 3:30pm taxis all fall within the regulation so research conducted by ESPRI found it's affecting everyone really.. With that the micronuclei. a sign of possible regards to whether Muslims will he cancer, in oral mucosa cells 1in the affected more as this is taking a non mouth) "was significantly higher (more alcoholic place to socialise there is still than twofold) among the waterpipe the issue that other people should not smokers compared to never smokers. have to inhale secondary smoke. I Validation and standardization of such understand people should have to have tests will permit the quantification of Come along to access: the choice but sometimes health comes waterpi pe tobacco—related exposure ■ first." levels and early biological effects." Immediate and future vacancies Campus opinions vary widely but Someone who has already wit- ■ the majority of the Leeds University nessed the effects of the shisha inter- Local, national and medics I spoke to appear to share diction is Leeds local Ahmed Jemah, a Kabeer Hussain's health worries. hold- student at Cardiff University where international organisations ing the opinion that smoking in any shisha has been banned since April. ■ form is detrimental and a ban is a posi- Though originally in opposition to the Postgraduate courses tive step to eliminating a problem legislation. Jemmah has since and research which has placed considerable strain reassessed his opinion. "Many of the on NHS accounting. It is thought that Arab teens that did go to the shisha ■Voluntary work passive smoking also causes the death cafes often didn•eactually smoke of one bar worker per week. Moez shisha. they just went to these places, ■ iton. a third year Medicine student, and still do. for the atmosphere and Self-employment is quite adamant that shishas should not Arabic music. ■ be an exception "I'm not exactly a "Just before the new law was imple- Career-planning help scholar in the health risks of sheeshas mented 1 had to do a research paper for but I hate the rubbish that people come uni on passive smoking and its effect out with such as the water filters it', 'it on an individuals and society. After contains no tar. so it's okay', 'it doesnt seeing the results I personally now have nicotine so you dont get. addicted'. fully support the new ban. Although Firstly. 99% of Mese people arc just shisha smoke inav Ian be as damaging regurgitating information they've to others as cigarette smoke, at the end graduatesyorkshire Into heard off other people without any ref- of the day it is still harmful." erences and secondly. smoking any- It is these supposed health risks that thing is had for you full stop." form the crux of the argument for pro Pro-shisha groups have voiced con- shisha lobbyists. Many argue that the cern that only anti-smoking organisa- health bill only sought advice front a UNIVERSITY OF tions and research groups have been smoker's advisory group which did not cover shisha smoke due to its varying or BRADFORD consulted, which should automatically iNG KNOWLEDGE WORK exclude hookah pipes where the smoke filter and differing nicotine content_ UNIVERSITY OF LEEDS passes through water which acts as a Claims that creating a membership 12 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Union How are we doing?'

In 2004, the Union devised a plan and goals to guide their efforts to improve the Union; in 2005, these were approved by the student body; in 2006, LS extra sends Stefan Page to see how much change, if any, these plans have brought about.

appy Birthday. Union Plan services were available. and the support of our services and our ability to body. students who are themselves elected by 2006-2.009! Very shortly. the members need. Based on what students engage with. motivate and empower all I've been charged with assessing the students. Next year, a new hatch of Hplan will be one year (21(1. said.- the elected Executive Officers. of our members will mean that we are progress that's been made now that the student politicians will be ostensibly There's a cup-cake party planned in the senior managers and other staff made a the most effective Students' Union in 'Union Plan' has supposedly working to improve services and help smoothie bar. which v ill reach the ripe series of recommendatitms about how the country." Their mission, then. is to progressed a third of its way to its goal. the membership. But, even if you are in age of one at the same time But what LUU could change !Or the future. There provide effective representation and a For the purpose of assessing how well the 95 per cent of students not directly 0: it? And. more importantly, what has was a lengthy consultation process nmge of member-led services of the plan is going, I've chosen one involved with student election it achieved now is a third of the was about these recommendations which consistently high quality and embrace objective from five of the six themes, campaigns. you still have a hand in the through its life cycIP culminated in a referendum in the needs of members. Incorporated and discussed each objective with my Union's fate. Buying a sandwich in There are leaflets round the Union November 2005. In this vote, LULI's into this are the calms of: Democracy, focus group, This whole exercise is Opposite. or a pint in the Oak. or even and information on the campus student members had the option to Quality. Responsibility, Diversit and designed to give a student perspective a book from eRay instead of using the websee. but not a murmur or agree or disagree with the Fun. on the management's aims. and as such Union. is supporting its bushiest rivals. recognition from the locus group or recommendations, which would set the Management gurus will tell you that is more of an honest response rather That is by no means an attempt to acquaintances I've asseMbled to future direction of LUU ler the next a goal is meaningless unless sou can than just an analytical evaluation. Tn persuade you to use the Union more. sdiscuss it. To be honest. I didn't start three years. 2,575 members voted in measure its success. In this sent. the balance the imperfect swm..s of my As the slogan goes. LULL is 'Not For off with any idea. either. Perhaps it the referendum. with 93 per cent of vision has been channelled into six focus group and me, I've been in much Profit, Just For Students', which means would he best to start with how it came them agreeing with the themes that make up the plan_ Each with various members of the stall and it pumps back the profit it does make about. recommendations. And it's those which theme has its own set of objectives, the view behind the scenes should run into other areas of student spending. So In October 200-1, LUU started a have formed the basis• it this plan. most of them statistic-based. The parallel to the feedback from the whilst many students feel that certain wholesale review process with a piece Putted history over. Union', marketing department students. things are expensive in the Union. the of research which asked thousands of This plan runs from July 2006 to regularly keeps tabs on its members - It would make little sense to money made goes back into its student nrienthers when they wanted July 2009 and will be reviewed on a all Leeds Uni students - through annual produce an entirely analytic report the services, from the Student Advice trout LUU and how it could improve regular basis. 'Ilse over-arching 'vision' pieces of market research and focus Union is an organic establishment Centre to the activities students for the future. 11 explored all aspects of - trumpeted from the hap of any groups tailored so that participants - which all Leeds students can directly organise. not to mention student media. the Union. from the way LULT is run literature On the subject - is that "by who numbered -3.066 in the last survey affect. whether you know it or not. such as the newspaper. and what the building is like to what 20119 the vibraiiey of LUU, the strength - accurately represent the entire student Most importantly, the Union is run by Before I discussed the Union plan

JUICY: The Union's juice bar, launched at the beginning of LUU's three-year plan PHOTO, Nixon Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 13

Union YT.ra

with my focus group. I took a minute to for a downturn in election turnouts.- the Uni staff that are responsible for could socialise with mature students of tor Profit posters but, in general. they see how students perceived their Union. Facts and figures aside, it is this. Diane Pedder, Student Advice teetotal friends without them feeling didn't how the Union was run or what Most felt it was a fun, lively place disappointing that not enough people Centre manager: "We offer free debt uncomfortable. So where is this café to was going on. This is an absolutely where you can meet up with friends vote. So why hadn't my focus group? counselling in the Student Advice he then? Within the Game On area is a crucial prohlem that the Union faces if and go out for a drink. Whatever you Partly because they didn't know any of Centre and have already produced a space that would he ideal to develop, it is to become the most effective study, the majority of students are only the candidates. but there was also a self-help guide to debt which is on our and seems the most likely option. Union in the country by 2009. which ever five minutes between a lecture and general disillusionment with the website. The self-help guide will Hopefully this objective will be the Union's Chief Executive - Lesley a pint at the Old Bar, so it conveniently election process. 'It's just a popularity make a difference to the small number achieved by 200 as well. My group Dixon - is ambitiously aiming for. allows friends from different contest!' was the general consensus. It of students who choose to use it. Any also highlighted the Juice Bar (opposite The staff behind the Union are well disciplines to meet There were also a is the duty 'of students to kick student who is concerned about their Union Books) as being a fantastic new aware of this. as Kim Somerville - the few negative comments relating to themselves into gear and elect the finances can seek advice front us." addition to the Union. Marketing Manager - makes clear. overpricing: nevertheless. 91 per cent people who represent their ideologies. My group picked up on a social "Communication is a theme which runs of students felt that the Union but without more engagement from divide between students who had to After a year: Plans being made: watch throughout all of the objectivas, so this positively contributed to their Uni students, the 20 per cent target simply work to support themselves and those this space target has a great deal of impact on the experience. up from 77 per cent in can't be reached. "The 20 per cent who went through Uni with additional successful delivery of the other goals.- 2001- Generally, people seemed happy target is for 2009," Ben Vulliamy adds. parental financial support. 25 per cent she explains. "The staff and Executive with the Union - in fact, my Leeds Met "So we've still got two years to hit of LITU•s membership have a term- "85 per cent of Student Officers are all aware that housemate claimed it was far better that" time paid job and, on average. they targeted communication with our than her union. Indeed. we do have work 14 hours per week. but nationally members will feel members is crucial to the delivery of something of a good reputation in After a year; Mare work needed - nine 41 per cent of students have term-time sufficiently informed the plan and the ultimate mission to be comparison to other unions. But was it per cent behind target employment. The number of members about what the Union is the most effective Students' Union in the hest. I asked? No, came the working has dropped in the last two doing." the country by 2009." As with the issue universal response - most preferred "Members will feel less years: in 200415. 40 per cent of of voting. student apathy again appears Manchester's. members worked for money. to be a heavily limiting factor in worried about their Statistically. students who work in term In a sense, this is the must important achieving this ambitious objective. "We will ensure that debt and their future as time get lower degrees and while this is objective of all. What is the use of Communication is required from both a result of our irrelevant to the objectives, it was an achieving the above goals if no one ends of the spectrum. "We've a lot of we are acting in an urea my group felt strongly about, knows about the progress that has been work to do to hit 85% by 2009.- Kim environmentally and information and After a year: On track made. and cannot make use of the Somerville concedes. campaigns." achievements? At the moment. the socially responsible membership breaks down into 54 per way." After a .rear: Well off target - 30 per The average debt for the 2007 "There will be an cent who feel sufficiently informed cent behind graduate is 1:13,287. The average debt about what the Union is doing tap from This is a s ery ecnerul goal. so it's of students on leaving university alcohol free café." 52 per cent last year) and 17 per cent, During my research into the goals. I've hard to assess how well it is being continues to rise annually. and top-up- members who aren't interested about seen the drive and ambition of the staff achieved. The group's response to this fees will only serve to strain bank The thinking behind this objective being kept informed (up from 12 per at Leeds Union, who are extremely goal was, on the whole, positive. The balances further. However, the number is. as Commercial Director Jackie cent last year). 54 per cent of members motivated to achieve something recyclable waste bins round Uni were of Leeds student who worry about their Berry lays out, 'to give all our members think they're given opportunity to feed monumental for students in 2009 - but judged as good, as well as the debt a lot has dropped from 29 per cent as much choice as possible when back their ideas and suggestions about its hard for this to take full affect when SandwichKing sandwich packets in to 24 per cent-in the last year alone. My visiting the Union, particularly those the Union. but only 27 per cent feel that far too many students are not getting Essentials - which are recyclable. 'I focus group admitted concern about students who do not want to visit an the Union listens to their ideas and involved. Remember these changes ate love that little green shop.' was one debt. but said they saw this as an environment which sells alcohol on suggestions. This makes grim reading ti- for students: it's our Union. response. referring to the Green-action inevitable side-effect of going to UM. religious grounds'. The Focus group all the LUU is to achieve its 85 per cent shop positioned by the Old Bar, where and that they weren't phased by it. Was felt that this was a particularly exciting target by 2009. So why do only a small • Marc information on the plan is you can buy organic fruit and veg at the Union helping them prepare for prospect. At night, the standard majority feel informed? My group said available at the Union was excellent at outrageously good value, There were debt'? Absolutely.. The lowering figures stereotype of the pissed student is all www.lituonline.condhowtheunionworks also fair-trade reductions in Essentials: of angst runs counterintuitive to the too often a reality. but it would be communicating sonic things. such as theunionplan However, when I spoke to members of grom ing amount of debt. so hats off to fantastic if there was a place where you sexual health campaigns and the Not Green-action they were upset by the Union's refusal to allow them to move the shop into a larger and more lucrative spot )they had their eye on a place just by Essentials) - which would further the Union's trend to more environmental and ethical trading. Furthermore, the new introduction of the plasma screens around the union was not viewed as a 'positive step towards a greener future': in response to this, though, it must he added that the screens use an incredibly low amount of electricity.

After a year: Progress being made "There will be a turnout of at least 20 per cent of the student population in elections and referenda."

The immediate response Irian ow group was 'is it really that low?', But when I asked who'd actually voted, there were only two out of 11 who him - including me. In fact. the actual turnout for this year's referenda was the highest ever. Almost 3.000 votes were cast at the November referendum. and we followed this up with over 2.000 votes in the second referendum. held in March. In regards to the student Executive election, nurse than I I per cent of the membership tat that time) east a vote. "This particular result was slightly disappointing." Ben Vulliamy - the Campaigns and Democracy Manager - told me. "But, in comparison other Student Unions. the total umber of votes cast is very high. It is also notable that these results have been achieved in the face of a general trend POINT OF ACCESS? The Union's info point, providing key information on LUU. PHOTO: Patrick Nixon 14 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2001 Opinion Comments expressed here are not necessarily the views of Leeds Stude Facehooked

Sam Francis looks into the cyber technology and the new Facebook generation.

Sam Francis y girlfriend is a Facebook ernment. You might have wondered w oak' insist the village community ideal profile, but only if you're listed as a refusenik. In all likelihood, you. whether the wchsite is run by just a com- as about bonds of mutual dependence. friend_ All you anonymous readers Mreader. are not. You've regis- pany selling slats about us and adverts to people who rely on each other. A real should. feel privileged lOr this unprece- tered yourself under your real name. us. or a goveriturent front trying to record community isn't just a hunch of people dented release of information. given them your date of birth for (Ameri- your every move. Or perhaps you've who know what everyone is up to and As for my facebook friends. perhaps caw legal reason,. and listed who your thought about whether von actually want overhear each other's conversations. reading this wasn't a complete waste of friends are. w lio have done the same. If to be regarded by a multitude of strangers Facebook might ben place "where every- time. Maybe I've got you thinking about you could be bothered. you'll have listed as an object for judgment. or for ridicule, body knows your name,- but it's no more who's watching who and why. your favourite books, films and music. or as a potential shag. More than likely areal community than the chain pubs that All this is kept on a central database. you've judged plenty of strangers on the use that slogan. You're periodically delighted and hor- way they choose to represent themselves, Two pillars of this global village com- Email: 64 rified by the appearance of old school and delved into the depths of their chanic- munity recently argued that Web 2,0 friends and by photos from last night. to by analysing their profile Or looked users need to learn not to say online what Sam@nheidea,org.uk You admire. your friends' range of amus- through the window of their soul that is they would not sav in -real life', It might Facebook isn't all ing. bizarre and downright blasphemous the 'view all photos' tuition_ sound like the teacherly aphorism per- status updates: "Abi is dropping grade Still. Facebook isn't all bad. Through suading you not to put your feet on the bad. Through it, boundaries like they're hot": "Amy is the ii. many of my acquaintances have table. but. it's decent advice. and the lack many of my whole of the moon": "Tnin is Jesus' hecome, or at least they have come to of anonymity between facebook users speech writer". You worry about how seem like, friends, I've kept in touch with discourages the torrents of abuse this eti- acquaintances have many marks you've lost while clicking those who are distant. and caught up with quette is aimed to stop. become, or at least through photos instead of researching and others from the distant past. Although we You've learnt a few thines about me revising. When youth) work. you're jeal- are making state surveillance easier, we since we began. You've gathered that I'm they have come to ous of everyone else. in the library who are also in one way living more publicly, "in a relationship", us my profile has it; seem like, friends. seems to be writing on someone's face- engaging with a sort of society. forming a that I study philosophy. that [ have book wall. community, Sonic might say this is what friends called Abi. Amy and Tom. You'll Maybe you've read the conspiracy was Meant by a 'global village'. have noticed that I'm a writer_ and 4Igood theories which try to link Facebook to But there's more to community than one — perhaps arrogant too, All this. and sinister elements of the American goy just communication. My philosophy tutor more, you could have discovered on my Trust in charities act

Neil Mackenzie- Communications and Internal Affairs officer elect, responds to Hind Hassan's article, Just for profit, and argues why he is not as cynical about the new appointed trustees.

Neil Mackenzie any apologies to those of you Council that we elect every year. This Charities Commission and to provide a Oh. and I lone referendums too. hoping to read another finely has worked OK the union hasn't gone new critical oversight of the organisa- AGMs were far more fun. Mwritten and humorously bankrupt). but the scope and role of our tion. This Board will consist of the six quirky opinion. This will be neither. trustees has expanded greatly as the executive officers, four appointed stu- I'm afraid that I will be sullying this organisation has grown. It may sur- dents and four appointed 'co-opted' email page with a quick rant about the murky prise some of you to know that LUU non-students. It has been done now in currently turns over around £9m. The order that we decide our own destiny. world of politics here at LUU. 44 The way things work around here is current trustee board, though packed and are not arbitrarily told at a later [email protected] changing. The Charities Act 2006 has with fantastically able and committed date to change the way the union As with most of had massive implications to alt stu- students, contains no financial expert works, and it will 'protect LUU', • For the Exec's official what Hind says, I dents' unions, For the first time we to provide proper scrutiny to our Last week the effervescent Hind response to Hind's will fall under the regulatory authority accounts. It also contains no legal Hassan talked of her concerns about column, please consult agreed with the of the Charities Commission. This expert to ensure that the union is not the direction in which our union is cur- vast majority, and I grants them the power to examine our left open to prosecution or litigation. rently moving. As with most of what www.luuonline.com organisation and to force through The Commission will simply no longer Hind says. I agreed with the vast fully agree that this changes in line with best practice allow an organisation of this size to majority. and f fully agree that this union, as with all throughout the third sector. The first continue to operate without this expert- union, as with all students' unions. thing that is very important to note is ise. must continue to be centres of protest students' unions, that we can't do a great deal about this. Moreover, the Charities Commis- and democratic expression. But the must continue to it's the law, sion states that a trustee board should creation of a student dominated What has this meant for LUU then? not be larger than IS members. This Trustee Board to oversee the financial be centres of Well. principally it has been forced to does not mean that we have to shrink it and legal liabilities of the Union is not protest and re-examine its governance structures. down, but it would be very unlikely a threat to this. It will instead ensure The legal entity that is LUU must he that the Commission would allow LUU that we are more able than ever to cam- democratic held in the name of trustees, These are to continue to operate in this way paign on the things that matter to stu- expression. the people that are ultimately financial- indefinitely. dents, safe in the knowledge that ly and legally accountable for the The result was the decision to cre- experts, with the best interests of LUU organisation. Currently. LUU's ate a new Board of Trustees to fulfil al their heart, are safeguarding the trustees are the 42 members of Union the governance requirements of the organisation's future. Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 15 Comments expressed here are not necessarily the views of Leeds Student Comment Speak out Hind Hassan, discusses why she thinks too many excuses are made for mysogynis- tic and unaccceptable attuitudes within religion and why its imperative for minorites to speak out against ignorance and oppression.

Hind Hassan y friends and I often make the far more emotionally unstable than I violence is surely antithetical to a reli- we exerc ise based on our common short journey to Hyde Park had ever been. gion named 'peace'. is not my reli- sense. I don't know about vim but my MFisheries to sample their culi- The connection between these vari- gion and I resent any indit idual. male god is 0 rational god. ;rod surely reli- nary delights: chips and chicken ous scenarios is actually that non are or female. who attempts to justify such gion and its guidelines should be exe- shawarma. Such cheap greasy food, I referred to in the Quran itself, they are a translation. As the Quran clearly out- cutable and not impossible. Forbidding guarantee, can not he found as satisfy- regulations taken from historical lines divorce is a final resort fora diffi- mixed social gathering would be a lim- ing anywhere else in the LSf district. hooks, by Muslims' own admission. cult situation it makes sense that the iting restriction to the development of On one particular occasion the cold written by man. It was when I started final option would be to 'break apart' any individual and a woman should outdoors prompted us to consume our university that I discovered, in fact. I or separate, otherwise I would like to have the option to excel and fulfil her products within the shop's vicinity. As had none of my own opinions regard- he informed by any scholar who may potential as much as the next guy. my friend unravelled her shawarma ing religion. I had other people's opin- disagree how heating your wile will and began to divulge its contents one ions, my parents' opinions my teach- bring her closer to her husband. or of the workers let out a gasp of disbe- ers' opinions and that I didn't under- indeed God. lief. What?! Was someone uncontrol- stand the meanings of the words recit- There seems to he an obsession with lably bleeding without their knowl- ed during prayer. So. I decided to pri- what hand you eat with. how you pray edge? Did Elvis just walk through the marily disregard the mainstream trans- and what you wear whilst humanitari- door? No. The flustered gentleman was lation of the religion I was horn into I anism is left by the roadside. Saudi voicing his shock that my friend, who wrote down all the niggling issues I Arabia prides itself on being the holiest was wearing a headscarf, hence clearly had the doubts and the questions I Muslim city in the world and yet I find a Muslim. was eating with her left found myself asking and went about the very idea that women being permit- hand. Claiming that the prophet ate discovering the answers. i found that ted to drive completely un-Islamic with his right hand and that all those nearly all the misogynistic and oppres- soh no justification. A petty duet w ill who chose to disregard his way of sive attributes found in religion have his hand chopped off yet the will he presented ss oh the gates ()I' stemmed from various 'weak hadiths', monarchy sees no contradiction in hell when the time comes for them to narratives of the prophet's life written placing its tout firmly within the US Email pop their clogs made me more then by 'witnesses' all of whom where men. economy and arms trade, even allow- double take. Surely I was hearing These inaccurate texts often represent ing the use of its basses for the invasion hindhazzan(a4mail.com things. Embarrassed by the attention a regressive culture or time which is of Iraq. Many Jews consider Israel to my friend mumbled something about manifest in people's misguided atti- he their holy land and this also chose being sorry. Luckily another acquain- tudes today. One wise individual said to overlook any human rights viola- tance was on hand to point out that to me that religion can only work if it's tions committed by their government. I rather than telling people which hand a philosophy. not as black and white have many Jewish friends. who are in a they should be eating with they should rules. A philosophy is a guide. it is minority, that find themselves reluc- perhaps concentrate on removing the supple in nature and can encourage tant to speak out in fear of being unethical fizzy drink stocked behind logical reasoning and does not require ostracised from the community. I am a their counter. You'd think he'd realise following illogical customs. theist but I have to say, when faced the error of his way or at least let the There is one particular verse in the with such delusional justification of subject lie bit oh no, Mr. Moral contin- Quran that I feel very strongly about. Ir any form of bigotry I endorse the ued to repeat his unfounded claim by states that. in a failing marriage. if the notion that those individuals are brain- stating that, biologically, it has been first three outlined steps do not work. washed to excuse such behaviour. I proven eating with your left hand is the husband should 'uthruhuhum-. In have been comforted by the notion that good for your health. traditional Arabic the translations are for every ignorant individual there are 'Erm you do realise you're praying vague ranging from 'hit' to 'break those that agree with my sentiments. wrong?' quipped one eager individual away'. This verse has been historically Surely, an idea central to theism is to another in the university prayer used to excuse heating woman when the belief we possess free will which room. "You should have your hands on your chest not by your side". I sighed. I can see it now you've spent your life fighting for humanitarian causes. help- ing little old ladies across the road you even returned that fiver your local shop keeper accidentally gave you. and then you die. At the gates of hell God looks through your lists of deeds but then, oh dear. he notices you've been eating with your left hand and that you have been praying with your arms by your side. Oh well, hell it is for yOU, Another friend (being the popular person that I amt, then went on to nar- rate a discussion that took place at a mixed gathering at a friends house in which one particular unsavoury lad) cc and her male chausetlist boyfriend decided it would be in their interest to insist to the attendtmts that Islatllicalls. I would like to be it was wrong for members of the oppo- informed by any site sex to socialise in the same envi- ronment and that woman should, in so scholar who may m a ny svords, play the submisstse disagree how beat- house» its at all time. It is also a worryingly accepted ing your wife will notion that a woman cannot, or should bring her closer to not he a leader due to her emotional instability. One particular individual her husband or who had the audacity to present this indeed God 'fact' to me found no response to the 11 challenge that from experience he was 16 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

Colour blind profit last year was £21.700, but what LUU in motion about the extra losses that will be incurred? If a smoker wants to buy a newspaper, a Dear Editor. Leeds Student Dear Editor. chocolate bar and a pack of smokes they'll I found it quite interesting that Hind I am really disappointed with your "cover- have to go otT campus for the smokes, Hassan believes the recent motion 'Protect age" of the local council elections. which where are they going to buy the rest do you 0113 3801 450 LUU' that was put to referenda was took place on Thursday 3rd May. Your think? Even if it wasn't ethically question- sounding and "ridiculously tided" [email protected] journalist Dan Johnson, also a memher of able, the VC's offer of compensation is no "vague" (Just for Profit. April 27). Would she apply the student Labour Party, managed to give where near enough. that criticism to motions two and five of the Karnila Maqsood an entire page to pro- This motion is not in the students inter- November referenda. both of which were mote herself while ignoring all other candi- est, it was proposed, spearheaded and absurdly tided and had related campaigns Labour socie dates standing. Their only mention is unfairly advanced by the VC. He is basi- designed to deliberately mislead the stu- Kamila's criticism of them. with no right cally prepared to waste university money of reply. (which comes from the students) and jeop- dentpopulation? I was standing for election as a Green ardise our union to push his personal agen- Titles of potential referenda motions postal vote scandal Councillor in Hyde Park and Woodhouse need to be politically neutral and free of da. I am glad the Union Council rejected and despite coming within the top three in this motion, r only hope they can continue bias. It is clear that this has not happened in May 200ei, I was not approached for an to resist the VCs persuasions. the past, despite it being vitally important; 1 the allegations made by 7/u' A thorough investigation and interview with your paper. especially with the number of apolitical Sunday Times about student subsequent consequences such as if anyone would like a more balanced students who do not have the time nor the Icampaigners fixing postal bal- party expulsion will hopefully view of the Green Party in Leeds and the Matt Revell inclination to read through pages and pages lots are proven to be true, it will serve as a powerful lesson for the work we have been doing in the last year- of mundane intiirmation to gain an under- standing be a grave day for student poli- future and prove that politics can including renewable energy project, Cottaging complaint of the motions being proposed_ unproved insulation on social housing and Whilst the referenda system is in theory a tics. be engaging and even honest improvements to local parks - please come Dear Editor. commendable attempt to make Leeds Uni- Student apathy is rife in mall) West Yorkshire Police have and meet us and let us know your concerns I would like to respond to Steven Smith's versity Union a more democratic institu- universities. There is a lack of promised to carry out a thorough and thoughts. We meet all year round on ankle 'Cott:leer's Coming' in last week's tion. when an implicit bias is implied involvement from political soci- investigation into the allegations the first Wednesday of the month at Head- Leeds S:nderir: the vilest piece of veiled through the title it loses all credibility. eties to voting in campus elec- of fraud and have been passed a Insley Community Centre. North Lane. homophobia masquerading as journalism I More care needs to be taken in the future to tions. It would be a great shame if dossier of evidence by The Sun- have read in many years. consider the potential impact a motion title vet more students became alienat- day Times to determine whether a Tim Sunderland It would he extremely easy for myself could have on the opinion of the student ed from political activity because crime has been committed by any Green Party eandidnte. Hyde Park and as .a gay man to conduct a similar piece of body, so that we can have a fair and open debate about the issues - rather than the of the alleged actions by the Leeds students. Woodhouse sloppy journalism about dogging (dogging is the closest heterosexual equivalent of spin and PR exercises that seem to domi- Labour movement's members. Hopefully. the allegations will nate Union politics at the current time, Politics is increasingly associ- not he proven to be correct. Leeds cruising), All it would take would be to What will we try and ban sign up to a dogging website then spend ated with sleaze and scandal in is a brilliantly democratic institu- hours hanging around known dogging Yours, tion; let's hope that students con- next? the eyes of the media and the gen- erect~ so I could describe in lurid detail Jak Cocld tinue to follow this example and. I st Year International Relations student eral public and students should Dear Editor, everything I've seen or think I've seen (not try to ensure that this does not more importantly, are not After reading "V-C looks to stub out oppo- forgetting, like Steven. to mention the leer- translate to more local levels such deterred from getting involved in sition' I have a few comments I would ing looks of the heterosexuals). However I Corrections and clarifica- as student life or party member- political fife. make about the VC's argument. would not do so as frankly I don't care ship by young people and stu- The point that selling cigarettes isn't in what consenting heterosexual adults get up tions. dents. keeping with "Healthy Week-. and other to and have better things to do with my incentives that promote healthy lifestyles is time. In our article 'Political Pastures New' (LS. valid, but what about alcohol, crisps_ Hook forward to Steven's expose of the April 27). we stated that prior to taking a seat chocolate. aryi drinks. 'gammon. salami "underworld of debauchery and urges" on Leeds City Council. Cllr James Mon- and cheese' sandwiches. Are we to ban (Steven's words) associated with hetero- aghan was involved in the pornographic Union Plan cele- sexual prostitution in student areas. Surely industry. Leeds Student accepts that this these from our union too? What I object to most though is the fact more "dangerous to individuals and com- statement is untrue. Cllr Monaghan is a pub- that the VC seems to think he can force munities alike" (Steven's words again) lic servant with an unblemished reputation; brates its first LUU's hand with what is effectively a than conaging? Leeds Student regrets the error and apolo- bribe: where has this £24 offer suddenly There may well he cottaging going on gies for any offence it may have caused. come from? The VC would never sign in the University. but it's really not worth over that kind of money if he were opposed getting your knickers in a twist over. This It is the policy of the Leeds Student to cor- birthday (Or apathetic) to an action that required it. I article would do the Thri/v MO proud; and rect significant errors as soon as possible, wonder how many LICU members would no, that is not a compliment. If you see an error in our pages, entail the at student elections.and referenda has be sacked to make room in the budget! editor on [email protected] Please increased but not reached the Union If LUU stops selling cieurettes. our Yours quote the enure and page 'norther. party planned in the Juice bar. target of 20 per cent. and not enough financially struggling union will be a fur- How exciting. students feel sufficiently informed ther inlk short per year at best. The official R. Evans Back in October 2004. our Union about what the Union is doing. started a review process in which Luckily for the Union. two years Send fences to Leeds Student newspaper, Leeds University Union_ PO Box 157. Leeds LS1 I UN. or email the editor on research was carried out to discover remain for them to reach their goals editor' leedsstudent.org.uk_ Please keep comments to 200 words. The editor reserves the right to edii letters for content and space what students wanted from it. within the time limit of this plan. Five objectives were created in the TherelOre the vast majority of pres- ** following year's referendum Progress ent students will not witness the full Improve your text life - text LS ** has already been made on the environ- effects of the plan. but whether they ment front; for example. through the feel passionately about an alcohol-free Green Action co-op. However. other café is another matter. Procrastination haiku: dummies' dead- Richard Woolley has nothin left 2 say. objectives await completion. Turnout line/sparks myriad diversions/can mere Please spare us his pompous and patron- txt 07794 A week of celebra- will prevail? ising ramblings. Word 2 the bird. 125795 Is it bad that we spent all weekend in the The mighty swindon town going up this 2 get ur msg in park inson building toilets trying to catch weekend - good luck 2 the boys. they tion for societies the cottagers at it? Marc & matt wont let me down s ************4*********** **4p.**#******,,,*********4***** elebrateweek wk at our Union has audience. I'm sure you can guess 'ust two days left to run, and Which pulled the bigger crowd. Poogie spotted in parkinsons toilet at I reckon still he readin this paper already it has been a great sue- Tonight, though, plays host to The dinner time... Poogina not happy! next year cos there's no way I'm passing my degree. Daddy will not b happy. cess. Rileys. dubbed The Oscars for our *T14*****1**********4**I*V** Monday played host to theColours Union societies. where awards are Danial adilypour wad get my vote. ding Dinner which acknowledged our handed out to the Best New Society, dung! Chelsea cheer up, Cheer up Chelsea! sports teams and individuals. Then on but also the Nicest Committee (niceD, Tuesday the Performing Societies With 12.000 students involved in 4****•*********.************** went into the city centre to show off societies at our University, it is impor- Hind hassan's arid le about state of I met the editor of this paper the other their talent. The big event, though, on tant to recognise Those which play a union 'democracy' was a well thought day. man is he tall! Tuesday evening was the Media major role in University life for most out and shocking critique of the sorry *****x******4* Awards, which had to compete with students. state of the decision making processes at **********0***** the Liverpool v Chelsea game- for its LUU

▪•

Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.ub Friday, May 4, 2007 17 LS2:inside

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ,o, "•• • • • • •• • • •• •• '.'0 •.• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •a •e • • •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• ••• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • a • • • • to • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• •• • • • • • • • me • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • O # • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 000 00 00 000 • • • • • • • • • • • • • 00000 0 • • s• ••••• • • • • • • • • OO OOO • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •. • • • Peerless Wireless • • • • • Jonny Price takes a look at • • • • • • this year's 02 Wireless • Festival. • •• Leeds Student OO • • Thank yous 23 • Leeds Student's editorial team • • thanks those people whose • help has been invaluable • throughout the past year. • • • • • • • Jay Rayner 24 • • • • • • • • • LS2:inside talks to former • • • • • editor and Observer food • • • critic Jay Rayner about his • • • • • • new book. food and politics. • I • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • This Is England 30 : • • • • • • • • • LS2:inside heads to • • • Nottingham to talk to the cast • • • • of Shane Meadows' new film. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• • • • • OOOOO • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •▪ Books 33 • • • • 00000 •••••• OOOOOOO •••••••••••••.•••• • • • • • • • • How To Disappear Completely • • And Never Be Found: Chris • • • Tedd reviews Fin Kennedy's • • • • • • latest play. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ▪ ▪

18 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

By Poppy Kemp and Olivia Marks LOWDOWN) (Goodbye. Forever.) • • • Going Up • Top 10 • • • • Benefits • a ito Give us -a couple of months and we will 411 • good •• a be unemployed. up the duff arid with is come to an eia! Well. almost, There was that hilarioks see that the student body actually got some sort of drug addiction (probably • The end of 1-111, ra the last time last year when we were hounded riled about something, even though it • to Pritti sn benefits will he our final • time you Will read (or skip over by a few disgruntled students who was generally about entirely trivial • saving erace. You don't L"cell [lave to a • times and realise again 'no, can't be fucked. didn't take kindly to our comments matters. It hasn't all been tales of • • pay them back! Eat:aura! I only pick the paper up for the TV on cocaine. The severe lack of have a • hatred, we do. believe It or not a • lisitings') the Lowdown with Poppy humour on campus was really quite few fans. Poppy once got spotted • Allow us this top ten to reminisce on the • and Olivia. We've had several laughs astoundine. Then we got a telling off whilst out and about as the ‘Ariter of • good times we've shared, possibly even • over the past two ye,!afs, but we've for slugging uhf fat people despite the shits infamous page and this die hard • with sonic of you. our trea. sured readers. • also had one or too cries as well. But fact that we hadn't mentioned the a • fan had collected every single one Many of our moments have been fuelled it's fair to say. that Leeds has served word 'fat' in relation to anyone-. Only • by alcohol because as everyone knows. as because it was s000 funny. She • u' well during our three years here. the word 'bubbly'. But it was good to obv iously has very good taste. A fea you can't go to uni and not drink. a piece of advice: keep this page as a Debatable, bun ultimately tnic. • souvenir. maybe in your pocket or • Richard Nlelieef • handbag and when y ou next have a • 1. Move On Up - Hifi, Wednesdays. OK. 'so this was penned by a mass- • dark. lonely day pull it out. give it a • Bottle of Glens and a bottle of Sehweppes • • murderer but what a cool title, don't read and have a chortle that will lift lemonade. Henry Price. Cab at 10.30pm, you think? Sounds like tire next hie • • your spirits higher than any intoxicant • Dance like huvine a seizure, Leave at comedy hit - man gels killed by a Rice • a ever could. That's what we'll he • 2am. Hangover next day. Can of Coke. Krispie treat Wicked, • doing. When we begin our jobs as • See you next. Wednesday'? The bee's • cleaners at Mecca Bingo or serving • knees. Mum • • Not actual mums. but the deodorant. • greasy eggs at Four Cousins, we'll • Who the fuck thought it was a good • get home after our hard day, • 2. 'Gravy Cocktail' - The play we idea to call a dery 'Mum'? Why nor • depressed and poor. and he • penned and put on in the Riley Smith to a 'Auntie' cir 'Grandfather ' • transported to a hatter place through • suprisingly warm reception, lust a lot of • the medium of the Lowdown. We'll • jokes about being touched by a close provides long-lasting protection against • • he reminded of how our lives once relative and how funny it would be to eat sweaty pits. • • • were: Rill of abuse. and an obsession • frozen mince as a barsnack. May make a repeat performance soon... 7. • with making inappropriate jokes that • ' • very. few people find amusing. Our • • favourite moment hasn't been one • 3. Game On - Fancy a sit down? Let's • moment in particular but more s nang • just go to Game On and feel even more .11 • • depressed. • elongated moment lasting • • approximately two years...the joyous • • times we base spent together. The • 4. !dojos - It helps when you know one of Booze • Lowdown has brought- us together in • the bartenders but we've certainly had one Come ori. booze is wicked. Can you • a was that people initially disaed and • or two debauched nights down here. The • have a good time without it? Probably. • had-mouthed but now applaud and place that first introduced us to but don't realty want to tint! out • a congratulate. It's only a matter of • lanermeister. 'Thanks for that Tequila is Ofivia's current favourite. • time before we marry. Litters. PK & • whereas Poppy's IS anything river 8":4 • OM • 5. Jack Daniels night • No-one told us it e. Special Brew. • • • would be FREE Jack Daniels...we were • • • • supposed to be watching the band but • • • • • • • ts •• •OOOOOOOOO ••• Balls • Go and Fester a Overheard egl instead took to ordering 10 Lynchburg Gumtree • • • la soon, the academie y ear will he ▪ Letrionades each. Rest of the evening a bit This online community websiie was a o you going to the Summer Ball? • : r 6 al definitely need some • Cad ) oar ticket have ya? Oh. you • over and you won't have to worry • industrial strength a of a blur... great place for a while. especially for • • • haven't.' Get off your lazy arse • anymore about exams, essays. lubricara...if you want a making- you feel better about your won • S • • and get one because there are bloody deadlines and saving your work in at least • bigger spoon. get one from Mis...What • K. Interviewing the Long Blondes - shitty 'life, Its just plain depressing • • • Nice bunch of people who we interviewed • umazink acts performing and you'd he • TWO places.. You cant stop thinking totally • does a paedophile use for lubricant? • now though. • with die twain aim of getting into the gig • frigging foolish to even contemplate not • and let Your mind and body Bill into an • Tears...Thai's the 'damn!' shot...I go Confessing your love to someone you • going. Who's up first? The Automatic! • almost deadly abyss where you lose eon- • dogging on cats and I drink olive .15 1 • free. Turns out it was only Ei.50 anyway. think you'll never se again but then • • • • Awkward. Yeah. they arc BRILLIANT' trolof all hcxlily functions but don't give a • watch...! played with my brother's you run into them the next day • • • • Remember their ace hit 'Monster vs ith damn. When the sores get too much to • oreskin...He'sf not vela, well. he's got Ruddy bloody awkward, And you • • 7. Phone Zone - Some of our best chats • that really 'funny' screechy voice in the • hear. and you're sick of having no compa- • Atnism...girls are supposed to s have taken place in Phone Znne, whether probably didn't mean it anyway. Don't • background? That was so good. And • ny because of the stench surrounding you, • wobble...you win some. you lose some - try and take it hack - its out there and • who else? Trevor Nelson! Another • apply some sudocron. get washed_ ail • haven't actually won or lost • we were on the phone or not A place to you're a (Moo. Keep sour trap shut. • manlier who last delighted us at the • dressed and have a think about what to do • anything...you make me feel like a • emelt up, get annoyed about the meow:tics • • Freshers Ball 2004 where he played • next. What abort going to a Cony al? They boao...l'Il he nice but I won't spend alone • and Jay about having no motivation after • • Weight-gain some 'fresh' nines that we danced to all • rend Lobe really fun: filled with brave. • time with him... • hating spent an hour on Mysprtee. No-one LIKES weight-gain. It's shit • • • • night long and punched the - air with out • Ilrugs and other sunburn or "tench foot. • LOWDOWN IIIELPLINE • puthileon a few ;aintids alto several 8 • fists every time he- 'rolled another tat • Chances are you haven't got a ticket for • lfyou miss is too muchos by not • . Relationships - We've had some gond b oze-n-burg,ei laingea. You w ill feel o • one'. Can't wail. Bodyrox - who've had • Glastonbury, so that's out site question but • email: looloaol , a Lines and some bad. Poppy's highlight has podgy. sweaty and unattractive and • ONE hit with 'Yeah Yeah' - will also • their are still a few worthy festivals to con- • we'll help you get through this pain. • Ix.-en a'1).1' who played music ofla laptop probably curse yourself every time the • • • and was probably gay. Olivia's time with • he sh o w c as i ng ...somet hi n g. Thai skier. Exit Festival seems to he a popular • aliahtest morsel passes you lips. • • a Bombhead lookalike still echoes • haggard one from BB3...or BB4 lean) a choice this year. Located in Serbia. it's • • • remember, don't want tot Kate Lawler • going to be hot. hot. hot and droopy cheap. •Pic of the week • strongly in her mind... • is also apparently 'Wing' at some • The line up includes the almighty Wu- • • • point. We are mega-excited about this • Tang Clan, Lauryn Hill this isn't neces- • Guess +Alio" • 9. Getting spotted for being writers of • • and also mega jealous cos not only did • sarily a pull but just curious to me-where • the Lowdown - A very budget form of a • she get to snug Cal um Best and • did she go after '97?) and the Beastie • celebrity is this. Makes us feel important • • • • • Bombhead Irma Hollyoaks on • 'Boys. Looks set to be rowdy. if you're flee • • ofiurrapbiici:urtea:inute then you realise they • Celebrity Love Island but she's got the • from the I 2t11-16th July. book yen tickets • • haven't actually read the page, just seen Snugging ugly people • best scrawny legs and eggy tits we's e • now Or why not have a Spanish suriner.? • • We're really lit so when we snog • EVER seem Man, I would love to he • tEasyilet out to Spain for the I 4hit June • • • ugeers peeps it really embarrassing her. You get to arrive in style on a and spend the next three days soaking up • • 10. Being fucking amazing people - firi us. like we've lowered the bar or • double-decker bus, that famous • the multimedia delights of Sonar in • • • • Conic on. we are pretty fucking amazing, something. We don't owe all that often • decadent way of travel. Great. PK & • Barcelona. Than hang around for, erg about • Men want to be with us and women wont so its nut really a problem. • OM pa. every iliMg said above isn't • a month. drink some San Miguel and car- • • to be us (some men want to he its. • true. Its Opposites Day. Cannot believe • tons of Don Simon and then head on to the • • especially Antony from Antony and The • it cost 1.40. What a frigging joke. Still • Fib festival in Benicassim. If you've got • • Johitsons - him and Poppy are practically Going Down going though. • the money, go for it. OM • • • • twin.$). Don't miss us too much. Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 19 tiegu►arS RICHARD CHRIS WOOLLEY DIXON

mean, by now everybody has heard have a degree from the same universin. at least someone say that George. as you. Oh no? i thought I could go for Bush is unpleasant, does saying it an entire column w idiom complaining. again. but with music behind it It turns out that's just not possible make it anymore of a powerful The good Where was I going With this? I've statement, or is it just an empty actually come to love Leeds now. threat. aspiring to some form of bands I saw There are two main reasons for this. revolutionary % iolence. in a time The first is the Old Angel in town. My when violence is proving to be in those days life is vastly improved when it bus Sam anything but revolutionary' Is it Smiths cider in it. It's got an old, naive to think that. in a world (Franz smoking. bitter-drinking man vibe to where people are increasingly it. Notabls because that is the core switched on about polities that Ferdinand, patronage. but the cider is organic and anyone still relies on music to hack tastes like little drops of beiAen. Not up their ideology? The pricey either. The other is the fact that hen I %vas 17 I got a job The biggest selling album in the is time for a bit of self-indulgent. since moving to Hyde Park I has e 710 well in my. life. I am a as re% iewing and UK is the second one from The Futureheads) reflection. Oh wait, that's what I never eaten W inter\ ICN% tog hands for a Artie Monkeys. It's catchy. the Ihave been doing all year. massive fan of the curry, so being able promotions company in Sheffield. I lyrics don't mean an awful lot, and have lot• the first time in my life, I have to buy obscure curry ingredients on my was pretty wide eyed and eager at it's apolitical. The band to admit that I am speechless. Literal- doorstep and smell curry at most places in the area is like wandering in the time. and why not? After all it dramatically proved a lot of ly - I have a chest infection, talking is a was 2003. America was invading industry big wigs wrong when they continued to pain. But, I've also run out of things to my own personal fantasy all the time. Iraq, and everybody w as singing used downloadable media to propel complain about, I got offered a job in' If you ever spot a girl with legs about politics. Well. thankfully not their first album to number one on avoid such the field 1 want to work in without hay- splayed out of a kitchen window, that's everybody. record sales alone. I remember ing to apply, so I can't complain about probably because I smelled a curry so There was a weird attitude in seeing them play a few songs in half-arsed that. The weather is good. so thumbs good that I had to clinch in through the those days. something like a support of some forgotten political up there. except tor global warming. window and consume it. However. I protest song renaissance was trying punk band sometime back in 2004. flag-waving obviously. Final work is all under con- got stuck because of aforementioned to take place, and as a adolescent I don't think I even bothered to trol. so I feel remotely organised. not u pasty addiction. You win some, you lefty sixth former. I found myself write them up: now they're the and gone on feeling 1 tun familiar with. All is good. lose some. quite caught up in it. In retrospect biggest hand in the country. A friend came up from London an My brother came to Leeds the other this was. of course, just another Perhaps you could put this down to bigger and the weekend and his friend sorted us week and. aside from telling me about link in the endless chain of pop to simple good music. The Art ir out with free cocktails and food all a woman he 'jabbed in the poo hole' music revivals. But back then a lot Monkeys make very good music. night at a certain chain restaurant the night before - no. really - he told of people bought it. and so a lot of and their lyrics are funny and fit better (thanks mate!). Despite feeling really me the reason he said he loved the city performances went for the together well. But this, I think. ill. I drank disgusting amazing shots. is because it is so young. I realised unspeakably rubbish audience comes from eschewing politically- venues. slumped on as bar for five hours and that the reason I feel so comfortable participation bit, where the lead driven song writing, which starts talked about Neighbours. the fear of here is that Leeds is the best place in singer shouts something like with an idea and tries to embellish premature male baldness and Ten- the UK to be young. It's throbbing music around it. The effect is 'Bush'. and the audience Richard nessee Williams, You know, all the with life, always on the mos e_ There's usually something tacky like rapturously choruses 'boo' in important things in life. It %vas the perpetual activity. no matter what response, Chumbawumba when it was most Nit I've had in ages. The great you're into. There is always someone But that was four years ago. aspiring to something clever like thing about impending summer is how who is on your frequency. even if you we're all older and wiser now, and The Clash. it brings out the best in people. Thai have to look hard to find them. Hyde political song writing has been The funniest revival in music at taste of warm breeze evokes memories Park pulses with life, with weirdness, replaced with newer, altogether the moment. and one you can see of park barbeques. kisses against a with fun, with taste. with laughter... more cheerful revivals. The good evidence of on campus any day of lamppost...Actually: my friend's theo- Has anyone else seen that newspaper bands 1 saw in those days (Franz the week, is so called new-rave. I Chris ry was that summer draws the fun out article about kerb crawlers with a Ferdinand, The Futureheads) have for one would be delighted if as a of even the biggest dullard because guy's face circled on it? It's stuck up continued to avoid such half-arsed consequence we started to see a everyone is horny, apparently because all around Hyde Park. The weird 'ice flag-waving and gone on to bigger resurgence of what now must he they are driven wild by seeing people cream' van that plays movie tunes all and better venues. The bands who called old-rave's ability to worry walking around in tight. revealing night long. Legendary narcotic- built their little empires on cheeky political administrations. This Despite feel- clothing. So, on my way to the library fuelled, Animal House style Hyde Park political dissent have subsequently wasn't born out of painfully this morning I inhaled the scenery: house parties where the door is always been forgotten (The leevas political and passionate song ing really ill, I Girls strolling along with ripe breasts open and no one knows your name. writing. or trite gestures in favour anyone? Had the bloke from Kula poking out of low cut tops, boys with Punjabs - a pizza place that serves tan- Shaker in it? No - thought not.) of revolutionary mobilisation. but drank disgust- crap haircuts, sleeves rolled up. lean- dooried vegetables on a flipping pizza. rather a shared desire to get wasted Last weekend Rage Against The ing against stone wails and couples For god's sake. that shit blows my Machine reformed to play the and have fun in large numbers_ wandering mindlessly, lost in each oth- mindl And as this type of behaviour will ing/amazing Coachella festival in California. ers' eyes. It was a visual orgy. Simul- All things considered, it's been a never get old, irrespective of the By all accounts it was quite good, shots, taneously horrific and orgasmic. Sum- bloody good ride. they played lots of old material, political climate, it might be a mer. eh? and threw in some political better, and altogether more I really disliked Leeds for the first dissidence as well: something. enjoyable, way to listen to music. slumped on a year I was living here. Many people I than a revival of the protest songs believe me. along the lines of 'The met were vacuous fashionistas with Bush administration should be of the 1960s, Fewer hippies too. bar for five exceptionally bad taste in music. It tried, hanged. and shot.' was windy. I didn't know what funky This is a bit more extreme than I hours and house was. I still don't know what was used to. When I was an funky house is. I got addicted to aspiring music journalist it was talked about cheese and onion pasties, ballooned more of a popularity contest. After like a tree frog. I despaired when I all, nobody really understood what Neighbours thought that Headingley was as good they were talking about. But saying as Leeds was going to get. (Seriously. something like that in front of and the fear of why do you live there?) It's expensive 60,000 people, whilst being and the residents hate you. which is recorded by the world's media premature unsurprising because some, not all. must have taken some balls, right? insist on being 'wacky students' 24 Well, maybe. But after reading hours a day. If you sit in a tyre in your the rapturous review. I was left to male baldness front garden wearing a road sign wonder whether the old sacred strapped to your naked body, you're email: [email protected] not funny, you're just a twat and, to be email: [email protected] alliance between politics and music Richard is an English finalist hasn't become a bit old hat. I 5 5 completely honest, I'm embarrassed to Chris is a Viz character Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Peerless Wireless As 02 Wireless embarks on its second year at its Leeds site, -Orrrun'or Price heads up to Harewood House for a chat with the people making it all possible and discovers that, almost certainly, they're onto a winner. o you didn't get tickets to Limes the size. 11)- eomparison, we are gies, there coukIn't be a noire beautiful appears imin behind the shade of the lining the steps awaiting the arrival of a Olastolimy. eit2 Well. tear aiming for compact quality; the surrounding than Harewood House and arch cast by the early rimming sun. horse and carriage carrying the Earl of not. far foals tieing a hack surroundings dictate thus " its grounds. On your arrisal. you turn Cows and sheep graze silently and the Harewood (the owner and inhabitant of rip or overspill for those But with the intfislud ion of camping oil the busy Main road through a subtle hustle and hustle of the main mad you the house 1, presumably hack from three Ininstred thousand id ao the festival this year. one cannot help yet dominating Yorkshire stone arch arrived on is all but a million miles business in the West Indies or the you that weren't successful but fed that 02 Wireless is at least away, vanishing into the more pleasing industrial centres of Leeds or Bradford. Sin the great ticket scninthle of 21107, the making n bid to establish itself its a sounds of bird song and twitching of It is a site more commonly associated t )2 Wireless festival promises this year regular fixture on the festival calendar. leaves in the tender breeze. The with the Home Counties and would In he something spedia and more The lestival began in Hyde Park. landscape is no longer tainted by office most probably he more comforathle in importantly has an absolutely stinking London as a live day esein with no ii blocks and apartments and instead rolls an Austen novel. Never one for being line up, The White Stripes, Queens of crimping. and spread to Leeds for the continuously towards the horizon, the 'at one with stature' or taking any die Stone Ape. Kinser Chiefs. Editors. first lime last year, to be headlined bs It is truly smoothness broken oldie the odd intetest III eighteenth-century The Cribs, Ilie Pigeon Ileteens es. Dolt The Who and Massive Aita,.k protruding oak tree or home-made architecture. It is truly remarkable. the Punk, I.CD Soundsystem. Klaxons, and Although a great line up, VI.' iretero. had remarkable, the fence. A lone tractor purrs across the breathtaking effect that Harewood CS.% ate althiligNI .one it; the cricking route a heel Or two cia) escrtl, estate, gently cutting the grass, and House has on me. GaIhrath is fight. acts descending nn Halewood house al by a couple of ads who seldom soured. breathtaking offers you the only indication that you there really is no comparison with lime and help Wireless pose a credible A summer treat. if you like. This year, are still in the twenty-first century. Glastonbury. but not in the way he threat to Worths farm or liramharts however. Warless takes the toms of a effect that Words can honestly not accurately inters: naher is without a doubt that, Park three day event with tom :Wee% dad h ill Harewood depict the beauty and tranquility of the in terms ol location. Wireless is far and Leeds graduate Stuart l ialbratli, head camping radiates. scene. :dances Norm-I-s tadversory. of I ive Nation the lowly chaps -We wanted a 1.realer yyrierg• House has on After approximately a mile's It is a inaenificent plate to camp, runtime the h....livid ■, ae.i.st, that 02 fs. between the nets this year,- Cialbrath progression up the winding drive-way. you've got then glorious surroundings h) 114'i Walls a challenge to explains_ "Last year. the music art sorb me. Harewood House secretly emerges from and IA close to the heal cities and Glastonbury. nor will it ever intend to slay was 'ety different; there really behind the comdur of trees lining the towns. About ten per cent of people will be " Me fact is that we'te twenty wasn't any demaml for customers who passage. Its beauty is compelling. Sat tamp this year and then hopefully that lions and people here. We're not es ea wanted to come ravel both slays. This 55 columns wonderfully punctuate the face will' gradually increase year on year. a, big as the audience that goes to year with the What: Stripes, Kuser of the house and frame the entrance. But for those who want to have clean Elland Road. Glastontan-y is one bile& and Dalt Punk them is much The AM lawn. where the stages will he sheets every night and a warm shower hundred and sesenty five thousand more of a cross-river across the three and immediately arc transported hack in mounted, is saturated in sunlight and after each day. there is stilt the potential potpie it's nine times ils big as what we days.- lime. Spasslarg greenery and looking hack on the house: one can to treat it more as a metropolitan are doing here. Leeds lassies at is four Anti as far as camping at a festival unaustakably English countryside easily imagine the scene of servants festival as is the case in Hyde Park.

0•111 ••■••■•■••

)1i01L11 I1111141 1W

4

Harewood house: Beats the all out of Michael Evis' gatt Leeds Student wwwieedssthdent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 21

There will be shuttle buses for those festival environment at Harewood that want to go home or just come for a House - one that would surety outlive day and camping facilites for those who its sister event in London. want to treat it as a weekend event." However. it is worth remembering Sadly, the option of staying in the house that no matter how impressive the itself - presumably as part of a VIP surroundings or cosy the environment. package - was never suggested, but then people go to a festival to see bands. The Kaiser Chiefs' fun was about to be cut I suppose we must remember that it is And my word they won't be short when Nick spotted the owner of gill someone's home. no matter how dissapointed here. "This is the onl y Harewood House loading his rifle for a spot of glorious. place in the U.K this summer where afternoon hunting Certainly it would seem that you'll he able to catch the White Wireless has become something or a Stripes" Galbrath boasts. Daft Punk and snake in the grass on the U.K festival Editors will also be on the first major scene. Glastonbury has its tradition. its U.K outings and the former is another free spirited environment and of course exclusive to Wireless. But aside from the hands. Carling Weekend has the big names. and there certainly are cornered the festival market for loutish. some big names. it is refreshingly booze fuelled music fans at the slightly appropriate that Wireless stands firmly heavier end of the musical spectrum but as a reflection of the vibrancy of the is still very much it festival for the current Yorkshire music scene. masses and an enjoyable one at that if Chief hooking agent Steve Helmer getting wrecked and dancing to The explains the importance of keeping the Killers is your thing. Isle of White. T in Yorkshire music scene as closely the Park and V are all great fun but lack involved as possible. "The Kaiser any defining characteristics and Chiefs were eery insistant that they although they do manage to pull some would he able to play the festival and be impressive acts are nothing special. But involved in the line up. They have kit 02 Wireless is different, You get the of friends in hands in Leeds and the sense that there is actually a product surrounding area: The Cribs. Ripelami here that could. in the future. surpass its etc and they were very keen to get those peers. GaIMO does insist that this is hands involved as well. I think it's only not the intention of Wireless and right that if there is a good music scene indeed. I agree: it should not expand in and around Leeds then why not use dramatically: maybe only by twenty or it'?" so thousand people, hut, with the With all the Yorkshire hands hilted surroundings and the line up, there is on the Saturday, it is highly likely that the chance to create a truly unique Wireless could offer itself, on this day

it leas. ■1S the towel in the crown of .1 highlights the need for Leeds to get as hcc.tust, Olv venues are us snaill. '1 his music Sic1le that continues to produce own arena; "There's clearly a market is why Wireless is such a great consistamly impressi%c acts to an for it. It's getting to the stage where we opporitina%." He is tired and run down international standard, -With all the can't play in our own town anymore when speak but still makes time ro hands on the same day'. I think it's be pethe and .11M%cr the presumably likely that there will be some friendly repo ito e fine of questioning. His rivalry between them to sec who goes flakiest> and pride in his roots stands as down best with the crowd or plays the ii something of a metaphor for the ethos strongest set." Holmer speculates. his of the testivul - doubtless, heading for sunny disposition radiating confidence international fame, but still ensurina a and self-congramlatiOn at a job well If there is a strong involvment in the local scene. done. Hummer would appear to have Wireless promises to he something done the job here for Wireless. and good music of a dream ticket for festival goers. Set taken it from a Mee weekend event into in such wonderful surroundings and the makings of a classic test al. In scene in and with such a strong line up it is due to he doing so, he has also managed to ensure an event that is civilised without being that Wireless will give and take front around Leeds dull. that has a festival feel %%idiot the local scene by dedicating a whole becoming feral. Galbrath and Holmer stage to unsigned local acts. then why not have seemingly pulled a rabbit out of a Nick Hodgson. drummer of the bat with this one: the success of the Kaiser Chiefs, is bursting with festival remains to be seen but I am The White Stripes: Satan is excitment at the prospect of playing the use it? confident that this event will not go presumably back stage somewhere festival. It's really good for Leeds and gently into the night as so many other the scene to have this festival: we're )5 new festivals have done. Far from it: well up for it". He insists that it also Wireless is here to stay. Win tickets to this year's festival To celebrate the festival. 02 and Live whatever way works best for you and Nation have teamed up with Leeds your males. Student to give away a pair of 02 customers and their friends can weekend camping &lids to the experience the 02 Wireless Festival festival and two pairs to any day for VIP-style with live acts from the the runners-up. All you have to do is hottest undiscovered bands. an answer the following question: exclusive bar and endless ways to chill in the 02 bluerixim. To find out more Who are the current owners of and get all the latest festival news and Harewood House? updates. simply text WIRELESS to 60202* as soon as you've bought your Send your answers to festival tickets. leedsstudentinusicOthotinail.com by The 02 Wireless Festival takes Friday I I th May. place from Friday June 15 -- Sunday June 17. Day tickets and multi-day 02 Wireless Festival gives you the passes for both London and Leeds are chance to tailor-make your festival available to buy now from £37.50. and experience. Whether it's stay for a duty. camping is available for the first time come for multi-day visits. or camp at in Leeds at £25 for the. whole weekend. the boutique site in Leeds — 02 Tickets and updates at Wireless caters for everyone. The best www.o2wirelessfestival.co.uk or call music, multiple stages. fairground 0871 230 9840, rides. chill-out areas. street performers. world food and five-a-side football - *Standard rate applies. you can have all the festival fun - in 22 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 The final curtail I used to joke that the LS. to:six:rates. subs Thursday night wouldn't he the same serioustress now t have been always eager to next year. Three years has been enough for this week was a joy to behold. Let's hope and contributors were just colleagues of without Alex and Rachel. News. News. help and who have made working for the me, don't know it' I could hack another there is one moment left to treasure from the mine. But it was, alas, just a joke. When all News: I hope you can recover soon. paper an enjoyable-and enlightening experi- year. year: victory in the Leeds Student v LSR this is over, and I'm not distracted by mean- Sharkey. sorry you were the butt of the ence. Also worthy of mention is James Gar- Ky Capel football match! Exclamations make every- ingless things like news articles or who's Epage joke for half the year. but it was diner, for his tireless dedication to the thing more passionate. Steve offended now, I'll have I kits oft time DAMN funny. Rainy. you rascal. coming improvement of inter-staff relations, along I guess a good place to start would be to say And now an actual thanks to everyone on my halide for a little self-indulgent in at the last minute and stealing every- with his comrades-in-arms, the stall' of the thank you. but instead I will say tre yeah W. who I ever chatted to in the office. You all, reflection. it's a given that have a news- body's hearts. You really have contributed Old Bar. Thanks also to Mark and Tom: Ta to everyone who's made this year at the in your own ways, make me laugh. made paper-sized whole in my life, and I'll pine neve this year. You've got a big LS career Vivien, Sophie and Katie: Andrew and paper so enjoyable. It has truly been a fun me think, made me a little bit uneasy, but for the office burly burly. But what I hadn't ahead of you: I envy you completely. Good Laurie: less: Hind: Ky: Alex. Rachel and experience. most of all, you made me look forward to not -considered until rem is how much I'll luck. Gardiner. "Show me the boy. give Charlotte and all the other sub-editors and A hug ter goes out to my co-editor coming in every day. Thank you. miss all those colleagues who have become you the man". You've motivated the staff contributors who have made this paper such Andrew - he's a giver not a taker without Laurie some of my most trusted and closest to meet regularly: without that. %%here a great place to work and be a part of for the whom IN' HQ would have been a less che- friends. I couldn't have done this job with- would we be? Thanks for putting up with past year. Final thanks must of course go to erful place. On many occasions I found Thanks to Ben and Steve for all your help out you. both in terms of the work you'v• my atnx:ious spelling and grammar. Ky, the late Tim Sevenths, whose presence will myself chuckling at the most obscure and and expert guidance this year. I really done and the support you've given rile over still don't really know you beyond the he sorely missed. brutal pieces of television criticism I have would have been totally lost without you the months. I am deeply indebted to you office but I wish you all the best. Same goes Chris Todd, Books editor ever read. People (Steve) may say that edi- guys. And thanks for putting up with me and thank you sincerely for the time and to Charlotte: you're the Editor, tell people ting the television section is just a lauded during all the weeks I spent hitching about effort you've put in to mak ine this paper as that and sort them out! I'm only ever a What can I say? While everyone - subedi- copy. cut and paste job but damn it. it was the LS2 front covers. In hindsight, they successful as I - and many others • believe it phone call away_ I should thank my house- tore, slaters, "everyone* - put in an admir- more than that! It were pretty cool. And it's a real shame that is. mates. Sere and Michelle. I don't know able amount of time and effort there are was filled with passion and commitment! It LS2 couldn't have made it to the very end. carmot possibly thank you all indi riche how you put tip with me: Icertainly could- some that stand out for deserving a little was a way of life! I will stop now as I'm Thanks to lames, Chris and Katie for being but you knots who you are. n't. extra treognition, Hind. Emma. the guys in getting etnied away. just a bit emotional at company and conversation in the office. in But there are some names I have to men- And linally: well, I suppose I can't for- Music - you've wound up writing a good it all ending... the old bar, or anywhere in between. tion, Ky. you've been a stalwart LS I asso- get bloody Schofield. I honestly never chunk of our articles this year, you deserve Ta goes to the big cheese at the top. Ben. Thanks to Hind for saying yew when I asked ciate editor. always with a sensible eye and thought I'd become such good friends with a special mention: Rarrizy and Sharkey - I will miss your hilarious sexual puns. our if 1 could take a shot at the Comment carto- good advice. And thanke for doing with you this year I'm welling up as I admit my you can spell. that seems a rare talent in this banter revolving around each other's part- ons. And an even bigger thank you for sport what I know .1 couldn't have done. utter dependence on your lameness. I will day and ace: Piers, the paper's letter column ners and your apple this and apple that short being so incredibly sweet about them. if Steve: your creativity and ideas have kept miss you above anything next yea. wouldn't be the same without you Ord be a cuts. Steve (Honorary Life Member). tag for only I'd aekedsooner! Thanks to Tom for me on my toes all year and have driven this The paper has been my life for two lot shorter. for a semi One final, individual noticing my pastel attire, for having an being kind to my mistakes. And a big paper in places I couldn't have taken it years. now. The flood and bad times all thanks has got to go to Olivia Fisher, whose interest in my love life. and For the music thanks to our Arts writers. We've covered alone. You've clone more than your share merge in to one as I realise I will be in love complaint letter was the first lever received you film, theatre, poetry. opera and exhibitions, of keeping me sane - Scotch. anyone? foreyer, and still sits framed in my none occasionally played. It brought out a cwnp- and it simply wouldn't have been possible To the rest of you. thank you for the Steve Smith Finally. the Feature's team would like to flees I think you'll all agree was deeply buri- without all you're dedication and talent. memories. And to Charlotte, this is your give a warm thanks to the staff of the Old ed beneath a rough, surly exterior. Ta to Ky, Mark Mackay baby now, take care of her, and good luck. Just want to say a huge thanks to both Bar for their valuable support. Wouldn't be a like-minded individual. You let me vent Ben Olivia and Poppy. without their inspiring able to do it without you, guys. my football spleen with an understanding Thank you to Ben (font fascist, father figu- work I don't think we could have made it James Gardiner nod of the head, ignoring my biased ram- re, daddy) lot his tenderness and putting up Wow. It's probably aria of a cliche by now. through this year. You saved us. And Ben. blings, Shabba. Ta to Olivia and Poppy. you with us for the past two years. Another big but it does seem like only yesterday. I was a you saved us too. Thank you to everyone I would like to thank all the staff of this yea- each have an infectious sarcastic humour thank you goes out to Andrew and Laurie, scared. innocent. heterosexual first year for welcoming us into the flock, it has been r's paper for all the work they have put in. that always made me smile. Ta Gardiner. without who we would simply he empty cowering outside the LS office. I didn't great working with you alt. A special thanks goes to News (Rachel. you are a unique individual synonymous husks of women. You make us what we are. write a thank you last year. so I should start Love Andrew Alex. Charlotte and Paul), Features (James. with the words 'Pub anyone?' We will see Thank you. by thanking Nathan, to whom I completely Phil and Jess) and Sport (Mike. Ahnui and next year whether the proof really is in the Poppy and Olivia owe my involvement in The paper l don't I would firstly like to thank my wonderful Adam) for making my job easier and kee- pudding. Ta to Alex. I felt I could have a know what's happened to you, but please colleague Katie. not least for the seemingly ping me entertained on a Wednesday and good chinwag with you. Anti to Hind you Firstly. Jormy mike. thank you for letting call: I get so lonely. endless stream of reviews she manages to Thursday evening. Oh and Ben I suppose bailed us out a couple of tunes with your me write for you. You've run an excellent Johnson and Kennard, it seems like only produce, as well as making the job of laying sou helped too. I look forward to never love of arguments - usually in the negative. section over the last year: inclusive, of a Lee weekend I was getting drunk with you out the page every week not only much being calked pixie boy again. Ta to every one who went on that simply very high quality. occasionally contentious. two, .. oh, wait. I was. It's been nice to still easier but a great deal of fun toe'. In a simil- I must also thank all the contributors to crazy away weekend; I learnt how to spend and with French elector. Thanks for trus- have you around. and I hope the old 'further ar vein I'm sure we'd both like to thank the the newspaper. Particularly those such as two days with absolutely no entertainment ting Helena and tine enough to let us try it further' education goes well. Gourley - amazing Thea Whitman. whose singular Joe (Sport) who have been regulars every apart from other people's company and ourselves: I hope we can do you justice. enough said. probably. Stuart. ii seems dedication to the Books team has saved week for the entire year. We really appnxi- somehow managed to laugh a toe The word Ben. thank you for all the drinks, patience we're always missing each other's calls; much effort on our part and allowed me ate the loyalty. association and Monopoly disagreements and directions to the Worseley building. hope London is helping you find out who many a Thursday-morning lie-in_ Thanks Everyone who has signed up for the foo- will live with me for at least three weeks, Working for you has always been enjoyab. you are. ks. I miss you! I miss our hitching must of course go to Ben and Steve. for tball match against LSR deserve some prai- lbe Ball was a really great experience. one le and interesting, and I will greatly miss and glorious outings: Ben tries but always their peerless leadership, ereetive vision and se. I look forward to us beating our radio that just showed our team spirit. The your Not For Profit jumper. your encoura- turns a bit psychopathic. Guard luck with utmost professionalism (although hopefully acquaintances_ Richard McBee!. performance. starring gement and the way Steven tried to put spo- your new job. everyone else who 1 can not their appreciation of irony), who t in all Good luck to everyone who will be here Poppy. Olivia, and Steve. I witnessed just ons in your mouth while you were asleep. lit in. thank you. To everyone front last You have supported me so much and given year. thank you. me so much more confidence than I had Oh. God and now on to this year. Well when I first walked into the office. The best done to all the sub-editors, especially you of luck wherever you end up going; you'le LS2 guys. I hope you understand why I was a lovely guy. which ought to work in your quite nasty at the start of the year. Ipromise favour. Vicky, I'm scary for being such a it's made you more capable people in the pedant. but thanks for humouring me, and long run: heck. most of you are better than for not snapping when I ask you for the me. Hind. what am I going to do without twentieth time whether or not we use the you? Enjoy your next year on the other side Oxford comma as standard. Good luck. of the fence: die other office may be more James. likewise, thank you for the style modern. but facades never show the true guide. and for being the filet person in the deceit below. I'm sure you'll be welcomed editorial team who actually knew my name, hack for some Quark fun whenever. Poppy Thanks to al l the subs around the office who and Olivia, antagonists to the end, love it. showed me how to do things, or smiled at Laurie and Andrew, ahem the choice, it the right moment. or gave me throat sweets. would probably he a threesume. but I com- And. tiredly. Steven (or Tint, or whoever) - mend Laurie in particular lOr his tearless you're brilliant_ You make the office a fun- attitude towards my sexual attacks. The Old nier. friendlier, better equipped and Bar crew, Tedd and Mackay. I quite hon- (whisper in more attractive place. I hope estly don't understandeither al you. but I'm your eyesight is okay. Kenaoconus massi- sure the feeling is mutual -you're both very ve. lune. 1 will miss you lots. (Cringe, con- con-milted and talented people. 'fedi, I SUBS: Some of the team who've bought Leeds Student to ges imaginary Epage.) want a recording of 'Love Machine' some- camupus this year. Rainy time soon. Joe and Jonny, the fiat that you Photo: Michale Liparoto numagel to do anything together is amaz- ing: well done! Continued on page 45 )P.

Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 23

01-kele suppoo.db, Inspiring million CPS imore young volunteers

THIS SUMMER, DO SOMETHING ENERGETIC

THE COLLEGE OF CHINESE PHYSICAL CULTURE IS LOOKING TO RECRUIT A SELECT GROUP OF VOLUNTEERS (WITH EXPENSES PAID) TO SPEARHEAD ITS NATIONWIDE ESSENTIAL ENERGY PROJECT. WHICH SEEKS TO PROMOTE THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLBEING GAINED FROM AN APPRECIATION OF TRADITIONAL CHINESE WUSHU.

DO YOU HAVE A SKILLED INTEREST IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING AREAS? WEB DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY FILM AND DOCUMENTARY MAKING GRAPHIC DESIGN AND ANIMATION (WEB OR PRINT)

IF SO, YOU ARE WILLING TO LEARN AND DEVELOP AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE LISHI ARTS (WWW.LISHIARTS.ORG). AND HAVE THE DRIVE AND DETERMINATION TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. AS WELL AS GAIN VALUABLE WORK EXPERIENCE ON A GROUNDBREAKING INITIATIVE. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.

IT IS HOPED THAT STUDENTS WILL COMMIT TO A FLEXIBLE WORKING WEEK FOR A PERIOD OF THREE MONTHS. THUS ACHIEVING A FORMAL YOUTH VOLUNTEERING QUALIFICATION. IN RETURN THEY WILL RECEIVE UP TO S60 PER WEEK EXPENSES. PLUS SUPERVI- SION AND GUIDANCE, PLUS THE ABILITY TO HARVEST A STRONG CREATIVE INPUT AND MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT THE PUNNING OF THE PROJECT.

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT JOHN GARLAND ON 0113 2930 630, EMAIL JOHN4CCPC.AC.UK OR APPLY ONLINE AT WWW.ESSENTIAL-ENERGY.ORG.VIC

ESSENTIAL ENERGY IS FUNDED BY V, THE NEW YOUTH VOLUNTEERING CHARITY LAUNCHED IN MAY 2006. WHOSE MISSION IS TO INSPIRE MORE THAN A MILLION YOUNG VOLUNTEERS IN ENGLAND AGED 16-25. THE COLLEGE OF CHINESE PHYSICAL CULTURE IS A REGISTERED CHARITY NO. 1104209. COMPANY NO. 5090047. 26 ROUNDHAY ROAD. LEEDS. LS7 IAB

" WEE CLASS HELD AT LEEDS• UNIVERSITY SPORTS CENTRE, EVERY TUESDAY AT 1.15PM ** • 1416V ive-MBERS WELCOME. CONTACT JOHN GARLAND OR SIMPLY COME ALONG AND JOIN IN ** 24 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Foodie The Great Foodie Ben Schofield talks turkey with novelist, restaurant critic and former Leeds Student Editor, jay Rayner.

ay Rayner thinks in food. out of selling dope in Brixton - gets his brother. But he's really in control just a list of dishes." he says matter-of- the 'overwhelming problem'. which is just as well. For the drawn into the rhythm of the kitchen and and it's manifested itself with a Iran:- factly. "This character is a sentimental Observer's restaurant critic, finds himself preparing the dishes cuphile, neo-classical style of cooking." Anyone who follows Rayner on his cipher, a rough diamond with a tear-jerk it's, well, his bread and butter. alongside his captives. By the end of the We're sitting in what some people gastronomic jaunts about the country in backstory. He is a professional dope novel, it seems as if his life of crime has may call the front room of their houses. the Observer Magazine will surely have dealer, but of that warm-hearted sort encountered a turnaround. but what Rayner insists on calling the first-hand experience of this facet of his who would sooner give it up than deal "Nathan is definitely saved by food." library. Its burgundy walls are almost writing. horrid modern coke: he carries a gun, Rayner tells me. as we chew over the totally covered by bookshelves and the To give you a taste. how about this but never intends to hurt anyone: he J"1 worshipped at my mother's novel. place seems full of literature. 1 take the from a recent column: "It takes a special happens to have a feel for cookery. His fridge," he quips when we meet at his When I ask if he's trying to send a chance to look around while he's out the kind of incompetence to create a restau- spiritual distinction is manifested in the Brixton townhouse. 'message' about the value of food, he room and find that all of the books on rant with dysfunctional tables. At Suka, usual manner of the post-Hornby boy's "I grew up in a noisy. North-West dismisses the sentimentality and says the mantelpiece boast Rayner as their a new hipper-than-thou joint in Lon- own metro-novel, by his being a white London. Jewish family: eating was how the novel is based on genuine experi- author and, behind where I'm sitting, I don's Sanderson Hotel, which does to man with a love of (incessantly name- we talked to each other." ences. notice an entire floor-to-ceiling section the noble culinary traditions of Malaysia checked) 60s/70s black music." It should come as no surprise that his "'If you want to send a message, then filled with copy after copy of two of his what the Romans did to the Sabine "The Guardian gave it a right kick- latest book - The Oyster House Siege - get in touch with Western Union' - who novels. I challenge him on his return. women, they have managed it." ing." he admits with no hint of under- is based in a fictional central London said that?" he snaps back. "You get sent author's copies and He went on to condemn the £15 rib statement, adding: "It's all sort of irrele- restaurant. The premise: it's election "If you look at the big name chefs, they you've got to put them somewhere. eye and fois gras skewers t"satay by any vant: because what I do for a living, I night 1983 and a robbery goes pear- come from chaotic childhoods and What else are you supposed to do with other name") as feeling 'like a mugging cannot complain about what's said." shaped. The two gunmen flee and gel found in the kitchen a controlled envi- them?" on nice crockery'. Restaurants which It seems that the Guardian's tough trapped in a restaurant across the road. ronment which they liked. "The mantelpiece - that's ego: but. aren't up to scratch get well and truly stance came about because he works for the Jermyn Street Oyster House of the "In this particUlar person's case. fuck. I've written five books and licked. their sister title. He described how jour- hook's title. They hold the chefs and Nathan has found redemption at the they've come out in 17 editions," he But having the privilege of at least nalists from that stable who write books some of the diners hostage. One of the stove and security in the kitchen." concludes. unrepentant. one gratis slap-up meal nut a week generally find them torn to shreds in the robbers-turned-hostage-takers. Nathan. Rayner recalls the experience of A- So how has Rayner - who edited comes at a cost. I smugly produce the books pages. "They like eating their finds himself out of the fire and, eon, list celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. With Leeds Student from 1987 to 1988. after Guardian hook reviewer's critique of own young," he explains. But he adds into the frying pan, and in a moment of an alcoholic lather and a brother being graduating from Leeds University in The Oyster House Siege. I remind him - proudly: "It got a glowing review in the panic while on the phone to the police treated for heroin addiction. Ramsay Politics - fused a love of cooking and not that any memory jogging was neces- Daily Sport: they made it their book of negotiator, offers the ingredients to could have turned out rather differently. writing? sary: he clearly has each review logged the week." Weiner Holstein as his initial demands. "It would go back with Gordon to the "I discovered when I became a in his enormous mind - that the review- hi less jovial tones, he also reserves When the head chef starts cooking the point of control. With Ramsay, a lot of restaurant critic that I have a faculty for er slammed Rayner's characters as weak some harsh words for his colleagues on dish. Nathan - who's made his living it's about control. He could have been writing about food which was more than and unbelievable. Nathan, he said, was Fan-ingdon Road and the rest of Fleet

I worshipped at my mother's fridge," he quips when we meet at his Brixton town- house. I grew up in a noisy, North West London, Jewish family eating was h„ e talked to

POSER: Rayner plays up to the camera with an apple. He never actually ate U, saying that any chef who serves raw apple was pitiably 1987 . Photo: Maria Garbun Lucetv Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 25

Street: "I've been in newspapers many months down the line you feel a whole wanker if I did." years, and I've done a few book reviews lot better." And for those of us looking forward myself under not ideal circumstances After his year as Editor and landing a to the young professional lifestyle in a and I know there's little purity in book job on the Observer, he says there couple of months - what did it taste like reviewing. The notion that its some seemed a host of ex-student paper edi- being an eighties grad? great considered thing is false. Book tors on the nationals. "We may all have "I lived on canapes after Uni. I got an reviewing is a very flawed business, this hated Thatcher. but a change in society absurd job early on as a gossip colum- isn't a shock. Everything in newspapers allowed Thatcher to hire us. During the nist on the Observer's London section is there to sell newspapers." eighties, and in the sixties too. there was called Section Five. 1 went to three or Aside from the food - there's clearly a belief that the Establishment way of four events a night and I put aside a Int some politics in a novel written on elec- doing things no longer mattered." of money because I wasn't spending tion night. 1983 - the night which saw anything. In t988 I lived on goujons of Thatcher returned to Downing Street in ayner has been plaice: it wasn't very healthy and I was a landslide Tory victory. Nathan is chal- sprawled on the leather pissed most of the time." Goujons of lenged at one point by one of his cap- sofa so far, entertaining plaice, he said 'were the last word in tives - the chief fundraiser for the Con- the photographer with canapes in 1988'. servatives - that he and Thatcher have poses and faux gestures Now a family man in South London, much in common, in that they both in between questions. Rayner is introducing his son to world embrace entrepreneurship. though RBut we relocate to his study, one floor through a foodie's eyes. We meet on a Nathan doesn't demonstrate quite the up. It's a crowded and filthy office. not Friday and that evening, as he does regard for law and order that the Iron dominated by the desk -which has been every Friday. he and his wife will pre- Lady does. shoved against the hay window - and pare a special dish for their eldest son I'm intrigued as to whether. after nor do you find yourself admiring the who's 12. I ask him what's going to be being at a Leftie Uni in the eighties. and gongs he's collected and arranged on the menu that night. He shrugs and now working for the liberal press. he's among the dust on his mantelpiece. pulls a dish from the mental database actually an apologist for Thatcher. Rather, on entering the office, you're he's developed. "[The novel's' not entirely condem- greeted by a cross trainer, the sort you "Thai noodle fish soup with lemon natory of Thatcher. although I was [edit- might collapse from, sweating after a zest, prawns and a bit of lobster. if I can ing Leeds Student] at the high water session at LA Fitness. h is, he says. nec- find any." he says. unflinching. I com- mark of Thatcher and hated everything essary for work and he spends at least an ment that some dads show their sons she did. It seemed thoughtless and care- hour every two days on the machine to how to fix the car or plaster walls, but less about people's and individuals' off-set his professional eating regime. he's going at it differently, lives, it was obsessed with self-advance- He claims to have asked his accountant "I'm just turning him into my crea- ment at a detriment to the those at the if, because of it being crucial for work, it ture, but I'm creating a monster. He bottom. I watched the industrial heart could be tax-deductible. The response likes Chinese food and whenever we ask being pulled out of Britain and it seemed was negative. him where he'd like to eat out he invari- to totally ignore what was going on at "But doesn't the tax man want me to able chooses one of the only two Chi- Leeds at the same time. live?" he asked of his bean counter, sug- nese restaurants in London which have "All that said. looking back with a gesting that while foodies may live to Michelin stars. broader view, I realised what Britain eat. death may come sooner than to oth- But something tells me Rayner's ok had become was untenable." ers. The accountant is said to have going alone with this. So what food would Thatcher he and replied that the tax man cares little if "I'm addicted to food. It's the things why? Rayner lived or died, only that he paid you do with it that define you." A ' "A plate of five-day old fish - the his taxes. CRACKING: Rayner was incensed when Ben disagreed that thing that I once eaten] you have to get We've come to the office to look at • The Oyster House Siege by Jay to make an omelette you have to break eggs, so he decided to out. Maybe cod liver oil, or a bowl of the bound, green hard back anthology of Rayner is out now priced 110.99, prove his point Photo: Maria Garbutt Lucero All Bran, with nothing to leaven the Leeds Students that Rayner edited back from Atlantic Books load no honey, no thick yoghurt. but six in the eighties. It contains, he says. his „„•01011 first 'embarrassing' restaurant review. During his time as editor, the normal --eatte 1414,44 format was deviated from twice - once cc for a drugs special and the other for 'The Great Foody'. billed as '24 pages of Thatcher would belly worship'. As well us the review - of the now departed Ivlanfred•s on be a bowl of All Wellington Street - the Foody edition also houses a Rayner comment piece in Bran, with which his much younger self gushed about The virtues of meal times and what nothing to you can say with food. The eighties are remembered for big leaven the hair. money, money, money and forget- table music, but what are Rayner's food load: no honey, memories of his time at Leeds? "I didn't cook for my flatmates no thick because they didn't eat." by which I take to mean, in Rayner's eyes. they were yoghurt, but sub-human. "I cooked roasts and curries - noth- six months ing dramatic." He once tried to make his own may- down the line onnaise because of the 'machismo' - his word - associated with DIY mayo. you feel a "It says 'I get olive oil and lemon juice and I beat the fuck out of it' - I whole lot thought it would give me authenticity as better, a 'proper cater'." he says in mitigation. He says that was also the reason behind doing his food shopping at Kirk- gate Market. "I very rarely ate in the Refec because it looked to me like the redoubt for those who couldn't cope after leav- ing home - it was comforting to have that sort of dining hall. I hated the Refec - I remember it having a sloppy salad bar; I bet it still does. It's institutional- ized. I also avoided the Old Bar with its pies and chips: gravity-defying lumps of carbs, but which I mean they seemed heavier than they actually were." SOUP: This was used as a cunning piece of marketing for one of Rayner's earlier Asking if he would eat a panini and a novels. Maybe the PR folk thought it should be canned? smoothie at one of the trendy cafes like Photo: Maria Garbutt Lucero those across from the Parkinson, he's unequivocal: "I would be a bit of a Friday, May 4, 2007 26 Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk MIliFt+C Singles Legislated nostalgia et Set Heralded record, exactly: 1 just think that The Party') times lost. As tricks go. I Jet suppose this is a pretty cheap one; as the Maccabees are trying too hard to be Refec stars or quaintly affected. 'Latchmere', I'm tempted to take it as an 6th March this song about a swimming pool. is exposition of pop sensibility instead, year's probably the highlight of Colour It especially as I keep confusing the The Aussie four piece took South By In. but one would he hard pressed to beginning of 'Toothpaste Kisses'. Refectory by storm back in early South categorically sort out what it was which follows. with a sort of March on the opening night of the West trying to say. 'About Your Dress' deformed 'Lay Lady Lay'. VOXTROT venue with a blow away set that festival in relates a series of disastrous dates It is the album's centre that falls Texas. under the disclaimer that "it's just apart, then: singles -Precious Time' included their classics as well as such as a Austin 1111111•11 MEW what all young lovers do", I do not and the aforementioned 'About Your some newer songs. four- like this. The Subways never Dress' arc extraneous, as is -Happy succulent performance of "Shine piece Voxtrot are not ones to rest on bothered asking me what my Faces', as is at least one of the On". They have been away recording their laurels. With two critically, opinions were, yet tried to write me opening three songs (and it's not the for a while last year but this gig adored •Ps already under their belt. (and every other teenager) an anthem excellent 'Good Old Bill'. whose certainly put them back on the map 'Blood Red Blood' is one of I once. too. Blink two eyes and make beginning is a promising 6/8 beast for all rock lovers. They were high brand new tracks to feature on the me smite? Oh, no: oh. no with a processed vocal line. and energy us always and got the crowd group's debut album. which is THE MACCABEES This is not to say that this album whose conclusion features some ening crazy with tunes from their last released later this month. On this Colour It In is not better than The Subways. It distressingly irresistible 'ohlth-ohhh- album "Get Born". With the venue evidence it will surely be topping (Fiction) makes for fairly invigorating ohhh-ohlth' action). But it isn't just full to the brim with eager fans they many end of year charts. Blood Red listening: some of the synthesiser the centre. by the same token: I just did not. disappoint with their Blood is pure "They all sound the same. don't lines cause dancing: the don't feel fulfilled by what is coming flamboyant performance and catchy chamber-pop they?" is a phrase that seems to have arrangements are very clean and out of the speakers. It's pretty riffs. Nic Cester (lead vocals and loveliness, all gone out of common usage, perhaps never overworked. 'Lego' marks enough, but it doesn't take me guitar) was looking edgy and was rising strings positively (the honing of a style does perhaps the cleverest application of anywhere except nostalgically back never ashamed to get right into the and wailing not necessarily constitute a violation the kitchen sink. as it flows to my sixth form. which wasn't face of the crowd and get them horns topped of artistic credibility a In the case of seamlessly from a tired, rather Blaine particularly long ago or particularly clapping along in style. off with a good 50 per cent of this album. I Harrison description of an earlier age enjoyable.(6) The venue itself looked better Ramesh ant tempted to break protocol. into a surprisingly poignant lament than ever with a new lick of paint Srivastava's It's not like this isn't a good for wait a minute... is ihat Bloc By Ramey Alwakeel and some funky new lighting. This soaring vocals. place has to be considered as one of AbsOlutely ace, worked - so much so that both Uncut and the best place to see live music in the U.K. However this modernization Despite their well-documented THE NATIONAL Planet Sound magazines named it in their relationship with the church. mp five albums of the year. has resulted in a smoking ban inside. Intervention is the most overtly Boxer Understandably. the release of Borer has so if you fancy a puff you'll be stuck (Beggars Banquet) religious track Arcade Fire have been greeted with a certain amount of outside and will miss some valuable written and perhaps it's a bridge too trepidation by the music press. and of performance time. Not very rock and Mark Twain, American writer and far, A - promising organ-led course fans like myself. Thankfully. it roll but certainly a lot healthier. I'm general wit once stated that "the poetry is introduction is superbly pompous. does not me sure how Jet responded to this all in the anticipation. for there is none in however it disappointingly peters disappoint climate change or if they even cared? reality." In the most part. Twain's maxim out, and despite a nice string Alligator was an album of peaks and with detail about ordinary Americans, We might never know. has been proven correct when applied to arrangement I'm left wanting more. tmughs in terms of volume; Beier is a their loves and losses, their hopes and As an added bonus the gig was many of the eagerly awaited US releases However as the more consistent piece. Intriguing and failures: and suggests it is only those with sponsored by Jack Daniels. With a of the last few years. with poising track crashes beguiling in equal measure, it is set apart the political power who have acted free t-shirt give away at the bar and American bands such us The Strokes aunt towards its from its contemporaries by Beminger's irresponsibly. Positivity is an understated sonic classic posters they ensured the Interpolfaihrig to deliver adequate follow- conclusion the curious lyrics, which explore what it is to theme running throughout the album. ever constant link between music and ups to the records that brought them their sound of Win be an American today. Part a lovelorn 'These is cause for gnat celebration of the drink stayed true. Surely Jet must success, while their calmer. Butler initial Nick Cave longing for companionship, America's past, of what it could become have approved of this and the crowd slimmer and eco-friendly neighbour to the despairing part a drunken Torn Waits hoping for in the future, and, most importantly. of the certainly looked as they if they had north has quietly but systematically 'work ing for redemption. Berninger Ibcusc on the here and now. The National's sound has taken advantage of a taste of the become the epicentre for all that is right the church minutiae of 2I st century American life. been formed by Kerouac's endless classic beverage. This combined with in the music world. while your 'There seems to he a sense of highways, palm trees dotted on the some great music ensured the night This same disappointineta cannot be family dies' is still wonderfully disappointment in his hesitant delivery: smelled desert. clothes strewn on was one to remember for all. even if said of The National's new release. chilling. disappointment at what America has apartment floors and drained whiskey some didn't. however. 2005's Alligator, the hand's Stressed about 'our exams? Never %become and what his country represents bottles standing in smoky bars. and. most Mini album, was widely regarded UN one fear. The Shins are here! Take 4 to the rest of the world. With song titles of all. the American people themselves By Ben Bevan of the records of that year and brought the minutes to stop. close your eyes and such as 'Fake Empire', lyrics about "0.1 who are simply living out their lives with hand to the attention of the 'Indic' stick on the impossibly bouncy blocxl" and doing "whatever the TV tells the intention of harming no-one. It stands community, if riot the wider world. 'Australia' and he transported to a us". Berninger seems scathing of his up and says on behalf of millions of Mixing minimal. piano-led melancholy . world without countrymen. However. this is juxtaposed Americans "not in my name" and in this with anthemic blasts of Americana was el a ES et 11 exam with the often upbeat. hopeful tone of his respect, it delivers a knockout punch. an odd combination but one that certainly lif r-'FI ,t-1/ timetables. delivery. Barer is an album crammed Malcolm Matheson ' a 4 • i 4.' 111 ..,, z.,8 deadlines and that comes with the confessional It is just unfortunate that a little toi) dissertations JOSH PYKE _,. nature of much or the best of its ilk, often songs slip into an agreeable but Atti a Memories & Dust and inaicail leaving you wanting something that standard formula. Though 'Private 4..ctry a . •i: filled ii kilt (Ivy League) V ear A demands, rather than asks, to be heard. Education' impresses, with a more —nen beach balls. 'Two tracks later and you have it. forceful beat and an inexplicable 1 VFW - M barbeques and Singer songwriters. .1 smcere bunch. a. V -4.. Undoubtedly the stand out on seepage of Michael Stipe into the talking parrots. However. there's quite a few out there Memories and Dust, and a break vocals. Pyke reverts to type it little too If Australia is really this much fun. and so it was with intrigue that I through single ter the artist. 'Middle of often, Alongside 'Monkey With a you should be hooking your plane listened to Josh Pyke, a man armed The Hill' takes us on a seemingly Drum'. 'Sew My name' puts dadl ticket now, with an the acoustic guitar and the predictable journey through the artist's forward as one of the weakest tracks Wow! A brand new CSS sins AM ability to break nut of his native childhood neighhourlmod. What Pyke because the lyrics, obviously crucial wait its the one you•ve heard 256 Australia. Following on from his EP of does so well is to pick out all the for a singer songwriter, aren't strong times before and already got bored last year Feeding The Wolves come I I messed up elementa of this scenario enough to support the backing. it is of. It doesn't really scent any tracks which generally cover the well and combine them into a fairly surreal when this happens that the songs melt different from the first UM' round trodden ground of Willy Mason and two and a half minute slice of pop into one another, unable to escape the either. Far from being a one-hit company but occasionally wander off perfection. Though not up there with curse of sounding like songs made by a wonder the album is full of potential into slightly more unusual temtory. Beck's finest for 'what was that?' num who knows he is good at what he singles so to re-release 'Let's Make Beginning with 'Lines on palms-. moments, it's not often men with axes does. To say this album is a one hit Love and Listen To Death From Pyke demonstrates his ability to chop out dogs' voice boxes in such wonder would be far too harsh: there Above' puzzles me somewhat. even construct well crafted folk-pop with music and the swift, deadpan way this arc enough tender, melancholic if it is their hest track. Re-releases meas appeal. throwing out the wise- is all told suits it to a tee. It's credit irritate me out of principle so I "hall belOre -his-time knowledge you'd moments and powerfully written lyrics due that you are almost pleased he here to keep tans of the first_ effort be avoiding this at all costs and expect of this kind of artist. blended in manages to make it hack to the 'house protesting loudly if I hear it out and with the odd wistful metaphor (A besotted. It is just that the glimpses of in the middle of the hill', more in about. Shame as the guitar line was woman is a sail that remains quirkiness hint at an ability that is not keeping with his other material. by the one of the catchiest of last year. unfurled/so stay ahead of the wind) it really exploited here, and though at sets the tone. Though well written and end of the sung. A shame. then, that times the album touches, it never fully this is not emulated in the remainder of grabs. tel By Malcolm Mathieson a pleasant enough way to begin the album, it lacks the poignancy or power the album, By John Owens Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 27 Music 'e

MAXIMO PARK self fulfilling prophecy-in-waiting Bruc:11cl'. Latest single 'This Is My Napoleon iiird's music is all at once The Refectory 'Direct Flit', (81 NAPOLEON IIIRD Cali To Arms' is a "call to the upper epic yet low key, huge and Tuesday 24th April As the lights go dow n, Brudenell Social Club limbs", addressing the inanity of bombastic yet beautiful. A case in though. the crowd's football-style Wednesday 27th April modern life "lived through your TV". point is in the middle of the set. chants herald the arrival of tonight's Lyrically superb and sounding like a where Napoleon abandons his hand Having safely negotiated the tighter- heroes Maximo Park. Having been 0 Fracas are on just before Napoleon and performs 'Kate's Song' with just km•a-gnat's-chuff security at the discovered performing pub karaoke by iiird and deserve at least a mention, a tiny guitar. It's barely audible over shiny new entrance to The Refee and their then-drummer's girlfriend only a Their music is what the word the din of the audience. but it's procured my now-customary £3 can of short time prior to the recording of 'angular' was invented for, their romantic. pained and utterly beer in a plastic cup from the bar, 1 debut single 'Graffiti' (and its eventual songs all spikes. corners and other incredible. 'The Conformist Takes It All' works especially well live. the take my place to check out tonight's parent LP. 'A Certain Trigger'), those pointy things. And they're utterly layered vocals managed well by the openers Das Wanderlust. Despite their who witnessed singer Paul Smith's amazing, obviously. particularly 'What Jim Hears', a song as catchy hand, and the shouted lyric of slightly dubious claims to he from the early performances would doubtless as leprosy but a kit more fun. Of the "average is not the best you can do" North-East (singer Laura. at least. have been impressed by the many new songs they play tonight managing to he truly soul-stirring. sounds more Southend than South hyperactive onstage persona of this 'Fact Finding' has to be the best, Ending with the amusing, danceable Shields), their buoyant manner and previous unknown. Just a few years which certainly bodes well for their 'Guys In Bands', the band swiftly anarchic charm - imagine Electrelanc un. however, and Smith has upcoming debut 'Fits And Starts', leave the stage only to be called back if they'd eaten too many tizzy cherry transformed almost beyond which I urge you all to buy. on seconds later for an extra song, cola bottles and bought all of their recognition, For a start, there's his This is supposedly an 'Hit Schmooze For Me'. which again iestntments from FisherPrice - ensure attire: gone is the quirky comb-over album launch, but something has ticks all the boxes, and shows off that they put those who have arrived and in its place a far more flattering obviously gone wrong since Napoleon's ear for a melody. The early in high spirits and win over a few bowler-hat and suit combo. But more Napoleon tells us that he has no repeated refrain of "this is not my new followers in the procesee 6) pertinently. and in spite of the self- albums and that the release date has life it's just my due job" is been pushed hack to mid May. irresistible and as 1 look round I'm Judging by the set tonight. the record fairly sure almost everyone is will be well worth the wait, sounding out the words. This is truly Napoleon iiird's music is made to he where Napoleon iiird shines. his heard recorded, its many layers and fully trained orchestra playing ability to conjure music and lyrics subtleties being somewhat lost in a FisherPrice instruments. it sends that ean mean something. that can live performance. Nevertheless. shivers down my spine, and what affect people. that stir something tonight's show is nothing short of better praise than that? Surprisingly. deep in you that other hands cant. spectacular, his sprawling. melodic_ the entire set never drops below this honk-laden songs igniting the standard: in fact it just acts better. By Owen Clements

ALI WHITTON AND THE kicks aside the suddenly childish backing vocals is to refract them into a notion that he could ever have nothing terrain of complex humanity that BROKE RECORD nee to show us, stretches seemingly out el sight in all PLAYERS No stranger to the venue. to directions. The Faversham the circuit. to the city or to our very Two new songs are Sunday 29th April souls. then. Still, Whitton's jovial showcased_ both for inclusion on a split commentary as his hand collect single later this year_ 'The Boy Who themselves between songs overlays the Lived and Died in. Vain'. in particular. Having seen All Whitton five brae s in rather bitter observation that no label hints at a new, no-prisoners direction; the last eight months. I was a little has yet agreed to release his album. its rapidity and force are striking when residually concerned that I would not This is downright. stupid. More or less the full band are set running but, when 1 1 be able to find anything unique to say the entire record is. known intimately to the energy is completely maintained Next, the irrepressible Art or to feel about tonight. Whitten, the band's fanhase through the during the acoustic-guitar-only verses, effacing lyrical content of much of Brut are unleashed on the {seemingly however. does not bend to such rules; tirelessly devoted gieging, and it is a we know something special is new album 'Our Earthly Pleasures'. largely unsuspecting) masses that have every time he picks up his guitar, he masterpiece of aneer. wit, honesty, happening. Whitton practically spits there is an innate confidence and by now filled the sold-out venue. fantasy, resignation and beauty_ Sold- his vocals. By the final chord. we are polish to Smith's demeanour which Although the irony of fan favourites out EP Empty Threats and Recurring nothing short of unnerved. This is seemingly spreads through the band such as 'My Little Brother' (he's just 'Themes offers a tantalising glimpse of harrowing stuff. harrowing because it and incites renewed enthusiasm in discovered rock'n'roll) and 'Modern what is to come: at the same time. voices frustration through a their followers. The somewhat e Art' (it makes them want to rock out} nothing can prepare you for Aii heartfelt medium. as though our own lukewarm critical reception accorded initially seems a little lost on some, the Whitton's live performance. ears are betraying us. but betraying us to the aforementioned sophomore full- band predictably manage to turn things Its not a party_ It can he so perfectly that we can only stare in length is clearly not echoed by those in around via a mixture of frontman meetly disconcerting at times to watch amazement. attendance tonight. as they sing along Eddie Argos's welt-rehearsed stand-up a man hear his feelings so cundidly, The band's setlist generally every word to both new songs and old routine (relating ode-to-his-ex 'Emily conveying the emotional nuance of his needs no introduction. A few viola alike, Indeed. as he raises the Kane' to Jay-Z's '99 Problems' goes catalogue through his motions, his lone notes slip: Whitton laughs at the start down particularly well) and sheer art- microphone stand above him and his lyrics, Not only this, but to then of a verse: none of it neater, We are punk energy. Moreover. the good news triumphantly, Smith almost evokes the blow the songs open between the watching something unbelievable for aficionados is that the songs frimi playful menace of A Clockwork sometimes aggresstve, electric unfold. something far greater than the the Bournemouth quintet 's Oronge's 'droops' - the mindless noieescapes of the Broke Record elements that make it up_ It will be foohcotning album 'It's A Bit violence excepted. a fitting analogy for Players and the spread of *mimic nothing short of tragic if a much wider Complicated' are sounding superb this ten-legged time bomb of a live act. instruments that he has at his disposal audience do not get access to it. (9) ahead of their intrninent headlining (8) in the form of Naomi Abbt's viola, his tour. with special mention going to By Mark Armitage own guitar and Sam Slockdale's By Bantry Alwakeel

STATELESS/MIDDLEM the-bend loYe-in. with all the slightly essentially take the quiet-LOUD the siaee. I-or about 30 seconds l'm Engine Room compilation. I had high fishy associations which come with template used to some extent by genuinely at a loss for words. Then hopes for this Leeds-based quintet. AN/VESSELS that. Still, l think, it won't matter a jot almost every guitar band of the last my brain starts to ache and I just want who fuse conventional instruments The HiFi Club as long as the hands in question are couple of decades (take, say, Nirvana, them to stop. Imagine. it' you will, with the use of eurniahies and -live Friday 20th April good. us a starting point) and draw it out Madness without the irony or talent. programming, Initial impressions are Unfortunately, I only catch the over slightly longer songs in order to Then, add into the mix- d pinch of had reasonable. and vocalist Chris James With • the exception of the excellent closing chords of openers Samsa. emphasise both the poignant beauty early-90s rave music and a heaped certainly looks the part: his lean free jazz shows which- they put on although based on these and the song of the quiet bits and the adrenalin tablespoon of Just Eta .rappinge and figure, carefully cute eted stubble every Sunday. this is the first time on the recent On The Bone Records rush of the loud ones. The problem you still won't appreciate just how and poised presence on stage are I've been to a gig at The HiFt. and compilation. I can tell you that they which can come with playing it in it fucking awful this sounds. Factor in renumscent of a younger Bobby immediately something seems slightly deal in unfussy, peddle-to-the-metal lice setting is how to keep the Mott AC/DC-emblazoned trucker cap Gillespie or Jason Pierce. strange. Firstly, the doorman asks me alternative rock. and are definitely aliening) of the audience rapt styling, rudebuy rhetoric about Thenceforth. however. my memory of whether I'm on the guestlist "Well. worthy al' investigation if that's your throughout. Hut, with the exception of 'battling' (somehow 1 don't think Jay - their set just kind of fades to beige: tunny you should ask..." On musical hag. the hloke with the stodgy blonde Z. would he quaking in his Reeboks) pretty though their emir's' is. it rarely ,descending the stairs into the main Vessels, meanwhile_ are also not stubble behind me who keeps and irritatingly catchy single (the progresses beyond this. Which is a room, i quickly surmise that in fact averse to rocking out, but they prefer moaning for them to. "play a song!". appropriately-titled 'Blab Blah Blah') shame, since listening to them. you the majority of the people here were to start things off softly and build to a Vessels do a decent job of this, too: and I can only conclude that they are Feel that there is untapped potential to Probably on the guestlist. Maybe it's crescendo. Largely ' instrumental. fans of Explosions In The Sky, the worst thing this side of Mika. create something truly beautiful. the fact that most are reclining on the champions of obscure musical genres Godspeed... et al could do much Now 1 just hope to God the record- rather than the somewhat one- leather sofas rather than standing to might choose to call this 'post-rock', worse than giving these guys a listen. buying public agrees with me_ (0) dimensional soundtrack which they watch the bands play, or the incessant although a precise definition. of the (7) So. its up to headliners Stateless provided tonight. (S) buzz of small talk; whatever, there is term doesn't -appear to exist. A more However. things then take a turn to rescue the roster, Having heard an overwhelming feeling of having accurate analogy, then, is that they for the worse as Middleman take to promising tracks both on the recent By Mark Armitage intruded on some kind of mates-with- 28 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

1,710. i.j li It's a revelation Stylus plays host to an evening of gospel joy. Hallelujah! pon first hearing the term 'rock also been the gin), but did move on to gospel'. I had an image of a other types in- music, with an acapella .ustrange yet intriguing mix of rendition ol California Dreaming and Chnstiart rock and Sive,' Act, This. as i even a Queen song. The only real came to discover (a little disappointedly. pi-Allem I had with the show was that. I might add) was nor the ease - but the since it wus a gospel choir, I would have truth. as I /Mind, ► LIS interestine in itself, liked to sec everyone go a hit more crazy The Revelation Rock Gospel Choir (Rev and enjoy it Quite a lot of the performers for shunt sings a mix of classic Christian looked so scared and tense that I began to gospel tracks, such as 'Jesus is real', and worry. Some did show their enthusiasm 60s soul hits. My first impression as the well (you know who you tire and it big show began was that. vc)cal-► ise. made everything much more enjoyable they were pretty good. The harmonics and just fun. It wasn-t until the encore were spot on and the soloists each that a few more of the 'n-vvers- joined in bellowed out their numbers with a the gospel madness and actually looked personal flair that made the numbers like they were enjoying thetnselves. unique. The opening few numbers were although by this point the le► . who had performed pretty well. but were a little been showing the gospel love thnoulthout too 'yay Jesus' for my liking. but a look had just tone mad (gospel madness around the pretty packed venue of Stylus perhaps) and made for very entertaining its hard venue to fill at the best of tiniest viewing. All in all, though. I did really showed that the diverse crowd were enjoy myself, and it was definitely worth enjoyme the gospel greats. As the show it for an alternative and exciting trial pivigressed on, the additional 'Christian' out. Definitely a society to watch in the numbers retained a certain kind of funny. panache. and even got me up and clapping idling (although that may have By Beni Megerisi

-.•■■11,

'UM IN 11111WEMOIN Spencer Properties (UK) Ltd. Large range or properties from l bedroom studio apartments to 5 bed shared houses, Voted one of the • All of Our properties are maintained to the highest standard Nvith a maintenance team on call 24/7. top 4 landlords . we have properties available to let all the way through the year. in Leeds • All of our properties comply to the high standards which are set by the local government. Please contact us on: 0113 2788600 54/56 Headingley Lane. ficadingley Leeds. L.S6 ?BP .eeds Student www.leedsstudent_org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 29

the Strange as folk rave

Right. that's il. enough moaning. This column has been a vent for morose, Wire's ultimate scenester ungrateful students long enough and, with this being the last issue. we move on to happier musings. As a third year, I'm night comes up trumps very aware that my whirlwind romance with university life is swiftly coming to up indie synth new wave apparent - from Friday night's an end, leaving me with a pitiable amount punk rucked up reaction - a real testament to the of academic knowledge but reams of electronica randomness" longevity of Eurodunee. rose-tinted memories. In a city that. s now Strangeways describe their The true test of a successful club apparently, has the mast pubs and clubs nanthly adventure into the world of night at Wire? Heating. Usually a per square mile. it seems Null) Iluhnights. Fair crack? Yes. I'd say so; pleasureland fOr the psyehrophile and ridiculous if you don't sample as much as he pop was fizzy and a veritable the penguin. Strangeways was a warm the after hours have to offer you. And. khistlewhetter to a sizeable portion of affair. Its popularity amongst a gooey. boy. does Leeds have a veritable le rest. fun-loving sect of Blubbers produced a smorgasbord to choose front. There's the It used to be that the night hadn't cosy room temperature. sophisticated charm of HiFi, the grubby Ott shined until Postal Service's 'Such Despite viewing the latter part of delights of The Cockpit, the classy rein Heights' turned a room of the night through the blurry eyes of a confines of Mint. and the ever-changing placated slabbers into star-grabbing wino discovering harder drinks. I felt face of the reliably brilliant Metropolis. hackjobs. I don't think its true drunk the moment I arrived. There's a whole lot of effort that's gone ymore. not since the addition of Strangeways turns adults into toyshop into the city's clubbing scene. which may tilimited's 'No limit', which gave a troublemakers, sweet shop lingers and cause a few raised eyebrows from the stuffier staff members of the town ad two fingers to credibility and merry go-round mantes. It's dead good Ah, people and their strange ways... nt an unpretentious crowd into a fun. council. hut. for mast, the serious . stalgic frenzy. The continent's approach to fun has not gone est selling song of I993. By jonny Davies unappreciated. Nothing can convey my fond feelings more than the sage words of our"down with the kids" city authorities. In short, 'Leeds Live it. Love it.' By Sophie Barnes

Cafe Culture the ones to Fab Cafe gets curiouser watch... 02 Wireless Festival - Harewood House - It may be a corporate minefield but it and curiouser... sure has some damn good bands playing. Featuring the aural delights of The White Lineal is pet haps the only word to baiter y‘iur senses, with the DJ lobbing Stripes. Queens of the Stone Age. Daft adequately describe Fab Cafe. But out a slightly generic mix of indie Punk. !CD Soundsystem, Klaxons and Sgiven the fact that it's owned classics onto the berserk daneefltaor_ •May The Rakes. (allegedly) by Richard O'Brian of Crystal I make a quick plea to the aforementioned M11/2 fame. what do you really expect? Richard O'Brian at this point: Fur the There's a life-size 'maid of King Kline love of god sort out the Himulaya-esque chilling out in a corner with a dal& hoe, which one must scale with rope, There, a disembodied hand hanging over and pulleys in order to make any form tit Thank You... the bar. In tact the whole place seems to musical request. risking death ambit be the underground lair of a demented manning in the proces, lit ) kitsch-obsessive, albeit with Hither good SOMETHING ABOUT IT') Thanks to everyone who taste in music . Phcw.:Attrw,n where oats All this results in the mildly troubling music. Es ery song 9,4S 'ma has written and taken sense lila! you're hallucinating nonstop imolai choice:, 'Am not the order or the photos this year for the for .approximately four hoar,. But then day - Mr linehtside. clubs/going out section. you might well be. the to the 0 pious and Evers Das I Love You Les, And amounts of tuck shop sweets from behind ess were typical, but Standing In the We could not have done it the bat that you'll have ingested. Way Of Control. Golden Skans etc without you! We look Rainbow Drops. Dnansficks, Sherbet added a little much needed Bair. Fountains: what an' they trying to do to So, if yon feel like a nippy siiiree in a forward to reading your us, induce isorne sun it sugar-ovenlose- eavent bathed in pink light. Fab is the future reviews next related tit? Judging by sonic. of the place to Is Think of it as LSD ininus the year!! dancing. their evil quest appears to be early -onset dementia. and enaiy. succeeding . The actual music is the last thing hi By Vivien King Macdona •

off the Camden Crass I and :dam to illus ration, photography. fashion. set off on a Club NMI: tour and The live performance mind D1, Aspiring Great Escape Festival to Brighton. artists .ire WelCinlied 10 shOW.CaSe Want to write Paint it black Support conies from Leeds' very ow it heir :low cirk and try their chance, ant Wintertime and Record Dept. %%hi kt the ants market in the Canvas art for Britain's DJ sets from Si I3 lack wire. hring -and -buy sale. For those aline canvas hosts its latest night with an SweetRepeat, and Camas will keep interested in mingling than sales, biggest student Ippearance from local band Wintermute the party running until the early. there is the datin• game, w here hours. girls and boys ate ins ited to draw newspaper? allYaSN't US le: i s . n, •.■nl Ichrai ion of the launch 01 Supplementing this is the launch self-portraits on squares of cans-its alternative hi. e music night at Can a,-Mu,ic_com starts at 13•30pm of a new community website • and pin them on the notieeboard. At The Faversham.. with a locus on sday 9th May and will ww.ca nv asproductions,co.uk the end of the night everyone li up and coming local and music feature live periormances as well as a promoting the latest arts news and removes a piece from the hoard to Email Ben on 'ant performances include the pound shop rat Ile and some events us well as providing a forum tak e home. For anyone wanting to Terimental rock of Mother Vulpine intriguing Cakes That Men Matte. for artists to advertise their projects unleash their creative potential. send .ral the melodic indie of Gramm:tiles. Live music will come courtesy of I and recruit help. The C'anvasCulture ideas. an work submissions or editor@ lb website Canvas-music.corn is a Say Marvin - a self-proclaimed nights are held at the Boatsmen proposals to fiusic huh for the local community. emotronic demo ludic band trim Social Club The bill for each evening CillivaSinehltic. tionsOhotmail.cenn. lsweb.org.uk "'sling space for labels. hands, Brighton hotly tipped by Steve brings together live hands. art. short By Maria Garbutt-Lucero esourees and downloads. The party Lainacq. Canvas catches them Fresh films. animation. graphic design and Photo by Jonathan Turner 30 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 This is England Before the release of This Is England, Mark Mackay headed home to Nottingham to chat with two of the film's stars over a coffee or two mires% Shim and Vicky right path. lust something as simple UN because my hair was ridiculously long. McClure have been on some Or the words that you'd use And when I look at the flint, and I look at Shane Meadow's speed nowadays they wouldn't base used in '83, the eharaeter if my hair had been lone it dial ever since they both And with a being improvised you can wouldn't have been whnt wanted and made their debut in his easily chuck in WOWS that people would what Shane wanted so it was well worth tcclaimed. yet little seen just automatically Nay. 'They wouldn't doing. Afilm A Room For Romeo Brass. And in have said dial hack Then.. so that was This is &whim./ they both star as pivotal difficult, but we got there in the end_ Was Shane surprised that the film's players in the skinhead gang, starring as been rated 18? Because didn't he want Milky and Lol. respectively. Andrew, and Vicky: 1 think it Was !now about Shane the film to reach a slightly younger Vicky have become familiar faces telling us how it was tier him in '83, not audience? throughout Meadow's films and were how it was from everybody's aspect, even off to Shane's for Sunday lunch the because I'm sure my Mum and Dad lived Andrew: Everyone hoped it would be a ti &wing day. so who better tea you in a very different life than Shane did in 15. Just for the fact that when you think on working with the saviour of British 1983, It was still the era of skinheads and about some of films that get a 15 cinema and starring in one of the year's all that Arta stuff, hut Shane basically certificate out there that are really bad and must see movies? said this is how it was for me and this is they give ours an 18 and we're trying to how it needs to be portrayed because I'm like send a message out to . don't know. How's the reception been for the film telling my story. It doesn't mean it was to the nation or whatever, as stupid as it so far? like that for everybody, so we drew on sounds, but send a message out that this is more about his experiences rather than wrong, And it still happens nowadays. Andress-. It's been brilliant. Really. really every bodies becvse it was very much racism and stuff like that hasn't gone good. We've seen it countless numbers of his story. away at all. A council worker actually times really. because we spent a lot of logged on to Shane's website the other time with Shane while he was editing, so A common theme throughout Shane's day and said how annoyed he was than it's he got us to watch it quite a few times and films is that they're pretty been given an .18 certificate, because he's give our opinion on we should change autoblographkal, and the same is true saying kids need to see stuff like this this or change that. But think the first of This Is England, right? because they're at the age where they can time we saw it with an actual full still learn fmm it. It's like had hasn't been audience was at the Rome Film Festival. Vicky: Yeah, well, Shaun Fields___Shane engrained into their head, yet And bearing in mind that those people are Meadows. trading it on subtitles and so on and so With the pretty prevalent themes of Borth, the reception was fantastic. Andrew: Must of the stuff he's done has racism and masculinity running been based on his own experiences. Not through This Is England, do you think Vicky McClure: Second from the left. Shane Meadows seems like a real that the film, that This Is England is an This Is England is the British answer to MAW— exact replica of 1983 for American History A? actor's director, is that fair to say? him, but y'know love all my American chick flicks, Meet fantastic film for a cheaper price because he uses his own experiences and also The Rickets and all that sorta stuff, he doesn't want friggin' superstars Vicky: Definitely. He gives you more makes up stuff as well. Vicky: I personally think the film ylnow. a feel good film, But I think walking around and limousines pulling room than like you could wish for as an represents a lot in today's world by saying British cinema has stepped up a notch up. He wants it to be real, actor really. because he'll give you a basic Vicky: it was more about the characters this is England. not that was England, and drastically over the last 5 or 10 years. And outline of 'This is how I foresee the than anything. Shane influencing his own comparing it to other films to me just like films like This Is England, if we keep So Shane lives up to the hype as the character, this is the line 1 really need you experiences through Shaun, and Thomo doesn't compare. Whether it's a British making good stuff and stay true to Scorsese of the Midlands? to say so we can follow on to the next who played Shaun. When Shimmy did film or an American film. Y'know this is ourselves and don't start to replicate what scene,' but then the rest of it is yours to Romeo Brass, Shane. Shimmy and a story about a young boy in 1983 and people want. y'know because everyone Andrew: I reckon, yeah. The Scorsese of play with. And if he's not feeling it. or Thomo are like smaller versions of each growing up and having a hard time and loves American cinema so let's try and England_ 'Thai was alright, but let's try it again other at different times. these are the challenges he faces. just like make that sort of thing. Just stay true to another way.' then he's got so much time, kids face today. When they were talking what we make and it can only get better, Vicky: I'd definitely say that. I think he whereas usually these things are very Andrew: He's an amazing director. And about the 18 certificate and they took it to deserves it. I think he works flippin' hard. much set to a time scale and you have to the thing is working with Shame a school and watched it, and people said, Andrew:British cinema is just as I think he's an inspiration to people who hit times and you can't improvise, and Meadows. especially titer your first film. it 'But we hear swearing every day. we important in the world as any other want to make films. And he's someone Shane's like forget that, you need to get it almost spoils you. You don't realise it at experience racism. None of this is secret, cinema. who's willing to open up to the whole right. You just find it within yourself. ft the time. You think every director is like so don't hide it from us.' Y 'know some of nation. was really, really nice to be given so that. Y'linow. Shane would be friggin' in- the seen are brutal. They're difficult to Vicky: Yeah, definitely much freedom to play with. between takes playing Curby with us watch because people know how real it is Is he going to be matched away by outside or playing Playstation with us. and no film that 1 know of, no British film Andrew: If not more, because we don't Hollywood sometime soon? And you go onto another set and you that I know of has been made so mai. so The freedom is a good thing, it's a just make your 'there's a terrorist who's welcome challenge? expect the director and the people real to somebody's experience and so planted a bomb and we've got to find Andrew: Round about the time of Once working on the film to be like. that and apparent to today's world. So. I think it's him'. British cinema makes teal films and Upon A Time In The Midlands he was Vicky: Oh, massively. I suppose it is they're just nothing like that. Shane original. thanks to people like Shane. I think offered Flipper 4. Flipper Meets. Lassie. when you're improvising. if you've got a creates his own atmosphere on set. That's Shane's a fuekin' massive asset to cinema or Flipper and Lassie go to Disney-land. script and a character basic and it's all why he's even got so much to do with Andrew: I think the big difference in general. Something like that. Shane has said very much set in stone that y'know that hiring the staff on the set, He wants between stuff like this and American himself that he'll only make films that he your character is this and there's a lot of people that are down to earth and aren't History X is. as much its it is very similar And Ls there a problem getting funding really wanted to. hack story, you're given that information going to start cracking the whip at you. to it, one thing This Ls England doesn't do and recogpition for a film like This Is so you work with that. Whereas when that American Hisrmy X did is fight fire England, which isn't a cockney And he's got some pretty high profile you're sorta being told you can actually Are you getting tired with the questions with lire, Like as much as it is bad and gangster thriller or a picture postcard fans hasn't he? Didn't Robert De Niro find your own past and I mean I did know about shaving your hair yet Vicky? racism is still more than relevant now you Hugh Grant/Richard Curtis vision of invite him to New York's Tribcca Film what Lol's past was, that was for me to can't beat something by being as bad as England? Festival? decide. Vicky: Not really, I mean I know people something sorta thing. You'll just never who are like 'Ohhh, why would I do it' get anywhere because you'll end up and 1 Vicky: 1 think it is, hut 1 think with Shane Andrew: Yeah, Robert De Niro is a Shane Were you both familiar with that and stuff like that don't even want to say just as bad as the if you gave him £20 million to make a Eighties skinhead, reggae and slut racists. but y'know what 1 mean, you're Meadows fan. Shane's got the film he'd only want £1 million. He can listening to culture? You weren't tempted to keep it? not far off sorta thing. opportunity to go wherever he wants. but produce better films, a better piece of it's just whether he want to. He's not in it work for less money because he's not... Andrew: Well, to be honest it was set in Vicky: Well, for a while I didn't have a Are you guys fans of British cinema, for the £20 million pay out, he clearly y'know, when you look at the budget for '83 and we were born in '83. so...I don't choice with it. 'cause it was just taking a y'know, aside from Shane Meadows? won't bend over backwards to do This Is England, he's proved himself that have loads of memories from 1983. But long time to grow back. But I didn't keep something just for the money. He'd take you don't actually need millions and people like Shane, my sister, my uncles it 'cause it just wouldn't have been the Vicky: Yeah. I mean I um a real big fan of less money just to make sure it's exactly millions of pounds, you need talent. and what not who were around in that sort right thing to do. But when I look back. British cinema. I think it's just had a how he wants it and he's doing something of era were able to like lead you in the I'm glad I did it. 1 don't miss my hair, harder time. And don't get me wrong, I he want to do. Andrew: You can crust him to make a OD? ads Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 31 ;rindhouse This is England ming: Kurt Russell, Rose N1cGowan, Rosario Dawson, Freddy Rodriguez and Bruce Willis Starring: Thomas Turgoose, Stephen Graham, Jo Hartley. Andrew Shim and rectors: Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino Vicky McClure Certificate: THA Director: Shane Meadows Running Time; 191 minutes Certificate: 18 Running Time: 100 minutes bane Meadows is seen hi man) as being the saviour of home ,grown ii Scinema. He \ even earned himself the dauntine moniker or the 'Scorsesc of the Midlands'. Expectations don't come Screw much greater than that Anyone slightly sceptical of the director's talent only has plausibility; I to watch the stunning This is F.:rightful to see what the fuss is about. want high- Based on Meadows' own childhood exploits and set an 1983. the film follows 12 year old Shaun Field. As nostalgic as octane the film may immediately appear to be with its opening montage of Eighties violence and icons. This is Englund is far from being Meadow 's doe eyed reminisce about a if that means picture postcard past. Instead, it's a moving, shocking. yet sumrisingly funny attaching a corning of age &Jinni. After having a hard lime at school. Shaun is befriended wo films in one! Surely that hospital, and you've got one adrenaline- by it gang of skinheads who take the kid concept alone should appeal to all fuelled film. grenade ender their wing and introduce him to the tight-cashed students. No? All Death Prime is Tararaino's slasher T wonders of girls, ska and a shaven head, icah, well despite the travesty that the flick, spearheaded by Kurt Russell's launcher to But their carefree summer is shattered I aaapiece spectacle will he split heir in psychopathic Stuntman Mike, a deranged exceptional as Thomas Turgoose's. who with the arrival of Combo. an old friend tic UK. I'm still going to champion both stuntman who preys on enoupa of hip needs DeNiro? As Shaun, Turgoose is Rose and fellow ..skinhead. fresh out of prison lins, because quite frankly they're young women with his death proof car. simply outstanding, but everyone of the and spewing xenophobic nationalistic kiggin' awesome. it's better seen to be believed, and the cast gives compelling and - especially in bile. The Rang is tom in two, and Shaun Having had the pleasure of witnessing death-scenes have that bluntness and McGowan's the case of Stephen Graham's Combo - finds himself drawn toward this finality that makes you feel. layered performances. And the assured his homage to 70s 13-moVies and what charismatic father figure. lima I can tell you that this isn't a chick- aYeee.eah...thaEs not right'. Good old- leg then so be ability or the cast to ad-lib adds to the With superb direction, intense fashioned Tarantino filming, I say. realism that resonates throughout the. hick. Yes, there's no Will Smith and his performances. moments of shocking men here, folks. This isn't a romantic And watch out for the fake millers film. it. violence. and an evocative period aimedy with the humbling Hugh Grant directed by some special guest directors England might not always be soundtruck, its easy to see why Faxing lyncal with musical undertones. (including one by our Edgar Wright) - something we can he proud of, but This is Meadows is mentioned in the same his is a film of gratuitous Why? Well, with one of them being &gland certainly is. tx)ootsh. no. 'T 77 sacred breath as Score se:. No potential called Werewolf Women of the SS, lets Violence (C mon. we're talking Robert Scorsese would be complete without his just say they're speciaL ok? (8/10) itudriquea of Sin City i Prim) Dusk Till possible. Screw plausibility: I want high- DeNiro tor, at least. his DiCaprio. these What makes Grim-Mouse so refreshing fliwn and Tarantino of Kill Hill fame octane violence, and if that means :lava m hut, when you've got a debut as here!) that aims to please. is that it doesn't try and be glossy. This is attaching a grenade launcher to Rose By Mark Mackay Grindhonse begins with Planer certainly not 300. But. by throwing away MeGowan's leg or resorting to Quentin Team. In the heart of Texas (where the writer's block of coming up with Tarantino's over-exuberant wing :Ise), a nasty 'bras breaks out and something credible and just focusing on abilities then so he it_ ;prods chaos throughout the town. Enter being pure carnage, it's utterly brilliant. , ,he last hand of survivors, led by El Bear in mind Grinelhous• is based on (9/10) The Sunshine Boys Nray, some Hispanic vagabond who's tongue-in-cheek 70s exploitation cinema extremely handy with knives and guns. spliced with modernist black humour. It By All Hung By Neil Simon goes back to the hare essentials of film- tick off the B-movie cliche of the Director: Maggie Norris military base virus origin and the chaotic making. lust make it us entertaining as 20 April 2007 to 19 May 2007 at West N'orkshire Playhouse

ei, Simon's The Sunshine Boys is (retinal Vaudeville acts projected with Fracture brilliantly entertaining. The play modern equipment. ironically. it is the Nexplores the concept of cinema that caused this type of variety c Starring: Anthony Hopkins. Ryan Gosling, David Strathairn, Rosamund Pike and Ernheth Dnvidiz Vaudeville entertainment, an American show to cease. Director: Gregory Habit version of old English Music Hall. Willie Overall. the play explores such Certificate: 15 Clark is the kin() of grumpy. stubbom universal themes that the audience could not faiI to be entertained. With characters Running Time: 112 minutes and senile old num that every family seems to have. Played by Malcom such as Willie Clark. with his eternal Rennie. he preients, during the Nat act. a protesting, the audience is constantly comical tale of the successful double act laughing. A must see for theatre lovers. that he was a part of for 43 yeara with Al Lewis (Lou I heiclai. The pair. idler not (8/10) having spoken for eleven ,ears, are reunited on a l'\ shoes about the Woe, By Catherine Coleman 1. of American entertainment. The duo 15 cannot made their Feud causing the show r. to end in disaster. II The entire east .ire suited to then tin stage ii roles, inal.ing the aiemissry incredibly believable. Rennie and eegal thrillers tend to he rather idea of crossing Hannibal Lecter with a audiences' interest thaiughth the 111111. S Hirsch's double act a as astpunding, the predictable affairs: all recognisable leprechaun' in playing an Irish-American substantial length. Similarly the meetings pair clicked completely. Clark's stereotypes and somehow aeronautical engineer turned wife murder. between Hopkins and Gosling do engage. impatience and Lewis' calmness are so if anticipated plot twists. However. they Aside from the two leading mles there but not in the tense, tragic way that one well balanced that the characters rj always seem to he so addictively are various sub-plots. allowing the comes to expect from the meetings of constantly deliver an engaging comic 0 aattehable, never failing to suck you in to studios to lick a rethi more generic such opposed leading characters_ duo. Both the actors' physicality and their mazy worlds of intricately planned requirement boxes. These are populated Oddly the overwhehnine sense of the mannerisms along with an amazingly set-ups, missing 'nuttier weapons and by faintly recognisable faces such as entire film is one of a oink- nature. witty script brought to life an intriguing femme tamales. Along these lines Fracture Rosamund Pike and David Stratheim which is strange for a murder thriller and re i and hilarious performance. The fact that !,t1s murder mystery in a similar - but (who surely ivarraras a role of greater somehow weirdly refreshing. It is in fact Clark has reached old age and is not able- 1/ghtly leNs ploambitioust- - vein to a significance since his impressive turn in Lathe pleasant to match a film every not Good Night and Good Luck) both of and again that dues not profess to be to let go of the past explores the ageing Jahn Grisham novel. pnicess. Alongside comedy we also have "` , It has to its manic it substantially whom impress in fulfilling basic roles anything special, but instead posseases a serious tone as the laughter turns to pity II" maniressive cast hal by the usually substantially beneath their capabilities. that enjoyable world-weariness that reminds us nut to take everything so for Clark. u -chartsTnatic Ryan Gosling, who is in turn Gosling's character isn't strong enough to allow him to flaunt his acting seriously. Even if it is murder. Director Maggie Norris hits used an -ed by Sir Anthony Hopkins in a effective yet minimalist set to potential, however he does provide strange interpretation of the villain complement the script Norris brings out enough depth to the headstrong yet naive By Tom Foster O. male As one reviewer from The Guardian the sense of a lost genre of entertainment; i young prosecutor to maintain the put t - he 'appears to have hit upon the emphasised when there is footage of 32 Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

W * Fq1 pg w ***** * * ** * * ****I* ** **** * * * * * ** * LA 30th A Just why isn't our Website good enough? Conspiracy- thinks Epage. las it's the last Epage of all website is simple and to the point. seems extensive, probably time (this includes analogue Easily accessible, the use of faded invaluable to its members. Epage Aand Eastern Standard). But light blue and grey texts is not was a bit concerned to the meaning what better time to end, than in the perfect for the visually impaired, of 'Mooting', the society's favourite masturbatory depths of CELEBRATE and it is a travesty that the pun past-time, which seems Copycat fashion week here in LITU sorry. for a 'Emani' is not used once. grammatically too similar to second there Epage froze, all this Wiggle on down to 'munting' to be legal. Alas it's celebrating masturbation is really www.luubellydancers.co.uk and . . actually some mock up court case. capitalising Epage's G-Key. [Shift] well you probably already guessed Role play? "Sexy" - thinks Epage. [Shift] [Shift]. where this is going. Yes it's the Finally a photo gallery (which The Rileys. peak of Celebrate Leeds University Union Belly actually is a gallery and not a mile week's celebrations, will award Dancing Society and its on fire! long sprawl of painfully slow loading everything that's good about LUU Black, white and sizzling orange (too ]pegs) works well with a bizarre hot societies. Having nominated the much fake tan wonders Epage) or not style counter telling users how Leeds Student website twice, it's only excite all visitors to the exotic art of many people have viewed particular fair that Epage gives a proper dancing bellys. wobble wobble photos. Easily contact the committee account of the short listed society wobble, wobble Epage. initially through online forms or chat in the websites, apparently better than our there is confusion, A bizarre box forum. Think Epage is being too own, that beat LSWEB to the appears, covering most things you nice? Perhaps it has something to do democratic post. Not that we'd want to read, containing the endless with the representation it needs for expect the 1,000+ weekly monologue of "Jane": cough cough. an upcoming libel case. or perhaps international hits or complicated Plagiarism? mutters Epage. "I'm it's just the idea of people have sex archiving system with automated doing my first ever duet!" Quips on a bush. Epage refrains. uploading and video embedding Jane. "F**Icing LUU" says another - VVhatabouttibet.comfleeds.htin that acts as a weekly service to Engage brain before biting the hand (Ben Schofield cringes, thinking campus and students in the wider that feeds you and publishing it Epage's last website review is world through the World Wide Web online says Epage. The expected digging an overdue grave). "What (breath) to immediately hold 'about', 'committee' and 'events' about it?" - questions Epage. Well if precedence over any competition. sections are supported by a lengthy you want to know: visit this site. In But then again?! "Bitter?" - wonders media page sporting photos, videos fact, the sole purpose of this society Epage. So without further ado, much and downloadable animations of when set up in 2005, was to raise ado or even 'do much' let's slip dancing girls. Equality? Questions awareness of Tibet. Epage asks through the digital face of LUU Epage. Get super excited by the friends over the exact political societal integration. "Hammer it inclusion of an online shop, and situation in Tibet. Loading ... home" squeals Epage. become super disappointed when it Loading... Right 0. Don't mention First nominated is the Omani turns out to be no more than a China then? You might be confused Society. Epage prefers Prada. In fact broken link. Epage was the broken when you first tread across this site not a knock off shop for market fakes link between Bpage and Gpage, just due to revelations when you delete but instead a cultural group for what is going to happen next year? leeds.htrn' from the title and students from Oman (a country not a The Dancing Bellies website is suspiciously get a very similarly pair of jeans) attending Leeds informative and gives useful designed national website. Cough University. "Sew me a hem line"- guidance on lessons and how to join. cough. Epage smells a rat. However, chuckles Epage. So load up Epage wonders if the page lacks any we are assured this is simply an www.leedsomani.co.uk and you're sort of male inclusion, noting the extension of the Leeds site. "I'm there. Sporting last season's colours, severe exclusion of any half naked watching you Free Tibet", says blue, grey, beige and a fabulous dancing men. just an idea for future Epage. More seriously the website carroty puke orange, you're first media adventures. raises awareness of Tibetan Human met by the index page, with the Leeds Uni's Law Society uses a rights. And to its own credit it society's missions and objectives. sleek website for the soon to be doesn't bore you with rants of "Spys" - thinks Epage, If you can young professional. Some might say supposed attrocities and the like but read very very fast you might be this website lacks any sort of introduces you to the history and able to catch at least one word of the emotion at all, but Epage denounces diverse culture of Tibet itself. Recent scrolling news feed at the top. this after seeing the main photo. Tibetan news is explored on the Epage just about read LOS (Leeds What could be anymore emotional News page with wonderful stories Omani Society) vs RocSoc. Omani that a man and women laying head about caves and lamas. Not daily and Rock. a spandex explosion! An to head on their backs on a hedge. viewing thinks Epage, but lovely all awkwardness is caused through Always use protection warns Epage, the same. having the advert to the the left of hedges can have thorns. Don't be Epage sits back and ponders all the index bar causing all text to be put off by the angular logo which four and wonders if these sites have squashed on the right. Yet it must be seems impossibly over-engineered over 40,000 new words uploaded said this little Html gem has melted or the 'pro bond section, a literal every week? Well least they're are Dave's wearing.: Epage write-protected heart. Very shrine to the 132 front-man. As a pretty. Epage is sadly deleted. * Dave Pynor • Black plimsolls, Topman, £25 informative with up to date departmental society website, it Goodbye. • Levi Red Tab skinny jeans, £70 information on events, the holds the perhaps unfair advantage Tim Sevenths * 21 years old • French Connection Charcoal committee and Oman itself, the of Career information, but this (The sexier anagram of Steven Smith) Grey Cardigan, £55 * Economics • Maharishi t-shirt, £55 ?001 Deds Student www.leedsstudent.org,uk Friday, May 4, 2007 33

"A book is like a garden carried in the pocket." - Arabic/Chinese proverb Row to disappear completely Drama News tow to Disappear described by the characters in the past society and exploring what makes us the • The political writing. The second 'ontpletely and Never How lb Moppet tense rather than enacted, particularly in individuals that we are. if anything. In the British Library category for which the Orwell prize ie Found Camrisidy Anol the closing sections, and with scenes and Notre be kluncl first act. the lead character complains that has opened an is given is journalism, and it was this in Kennedy characters changing unannounced. It is his life is just a surface. and that he feels exhibition which year awarded to Peter Beaumont of )6pp, Nick Hem Books. also highly non-linear. with the that, if you broke through it, there would showcases The Observer. The prices are given to tang pathologist who examined his drowned be nothing underneath, But the play itself. religious texts writing which is aimed at the general body appearing in many scenes matching form to content. is very, from all three main monotheistic public, rather than the academic Plow to Disappear throughout the play and talking to Charlie ungrounded, with nothing ever solid or faiths alongside each other. world. c'ompletely and Never Be about how he dies. In addition, the play certain, and, as each successive surface Sponsored by the British Moroccan • The longlist for the Frank Found. 4 new play from Fin Kennedy, employs several devices. such as the use layer turaks.down, it is replaced only by Society, the exhibition has been O'Connor prize for collections of was recently staged for the lirst time at the of only five actors to play all the parts (so one less solid than that which preceded it. described by its curator, Graham short stories was announced this Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, The the faces in crowd scenes are always until the lead character ends up dead on a Shaw, as being designed to promote week. The list contains 34 names. production received very positive reviews. identical). the use of noise samples and mortuary slab. Indeed, the only stable understanding and "demonstrate how with representatives from America, and the play won the author the John recorded dialogue, and the recurrence of point in the whole play is the character of much we share...theae are three faiths Britain, Canada, New Zealand, Whiting Award for New Theatre Writing. the pathologist character, who is located the pathologist, whose actor is the only founded on sacred texts. hooks of Bulgaria, Iceland. Montserrat and The play follows a young advertising time-wise at the very end of the story. to one to play just a single pan. suggesting revelation-. Kenya. Small publishing houses executive. overworked. in debt and create a really effective parallel of the that death is the only thing that holds any • The chief exective of Woolworths feature strongly in the list, with titles completely out of his depth, who decides, feeling of disassociation and alienation meaning. has appealed to the publishing from Tindal Street Press and as thousands of people do every year, to that the lead character is feeling. Al One point, a character asks if industry to end its attempts to 'block Algonquin Books included. abandon his old life, his job. his friends, To a large extent, particularly in the anything is as suitable a symbol of our the chain's decision to buy the everyone and everything he ever knew. first act. which documents how the .lead modern society as the lost mobile phone. leading supplier to independent • Lonesome disappear completely and start again with character came to the decision to and, certainly, within the world created bookstores, Bertram. George - The Life a whole new identity. The play opens in a disappear. the play concerns itself with here, with its all-pervading themes of the and Loves of Me lost property office on the London the familiar subject of 'past-millennial contradiction between mass media and • Peter Hennessy's Having It So World's Most Underground, where, amongst the mobile angst'. the dissatisfaction and our tack of communication or connection the second Famous Tortoise by phones, watches and wallets, the lead incompleteness felt by many, particularly to one another, this is hard to argue with. 01111 Good,volume of a history of Henry Nicholls has been shontisted character. Charlie, is recovering after in the business sector, in today's high- You could certainly disagree that this . Britain following World for the Royal Society's prize for fainting on a train. We then follow him paced media-fuelled society (cf. world accurately mirrors the real one but. War Two which charts science non-fiction titles. George is a through a representative section of his Generation X. Fight nib. OK within itself, the world of the play is a the rise of Harold. 2001h giant tortoise. aged somewhere life: at work, the company doctor Computer). but it does so in such a complete and consistent ciretion. and the Macmillan. has won the between 60 and 200. who was prescribes him pills for every ailment - suitably hysterical way that you can play is certainly a visceral and compelling Orwell prize for rescued from the Galapagos islands. pills to wake him up. pills to get to sleep: forgive the over-familiarity of the exploration of it he pitches an ad campaign for a dating sentiment. It is in the second act however. service focused on emphasising the where the play tackles the transient nature (8/10) loneliness of its target market: he goes to of identity, that it really comes into its Fiction a party where everyone talks and no-one own, widening its scope to the whole of By Christopher Tedd Bloodletting and Lighter sides of hospital work, such says anything; and then, the following Miraculous Cures as embarrassing circumstances of day, at work. when his boss discovers he's Vincent Lam death, contrast with more tense been embezzling money. he decides to 330 pp, Random House stories, like the dilemmas of a flight make a run for it. He visits a never-fully- E9.99 evacuation doctor (the doctor in the explained acqtutintance of his (lately plane during an emergency patient deceased) mother, who specialises in Vincent Larn's first transfer). All the stories were made giving people new identities, and then fiction work and more poignant by the fact that the proceeds to transform himself into a winner of Canada's author is an experienced doctor. In completely new person. But in trying to prestigious Giller fact, this meant it was difficult at maintain his new identity, being now Prize, Bloodletting and Miraculous times to remember that the stories are completely cut adrift from everything he Cures is a must-read for any works of fiction and not told directly ever knew, he finds the pressures upon medicine student and a thoroughly from Lam's experience. particularly him, and his feeling of alienation, have captivating collection of short stories the one dealing with a possible only increased. Completely lost. and no for any reader. The stories follow a victim of police brutality and the longer sure who he is. he jumps into the group of young medics through the tensions between officers and sea and drowns. dreams of med school application, to hospital staff, The piece set during The play is written in a high'y stylised the reality of crises. ethics. and Toronto's SARS crisis was also manner. with internal monologite overwork. particularly touching. and it was juxtaposed within conversational Hooked initially by the parallel especially interesting to hear it told dialogue. a lot of the 'action' being experiences of eager undergrads. but from an insider's point of view after reeled in by the diverse and hearing the news reports' version so innovative stones, it was easy to many times. Fiction keep reading. The only thing holding As well as the medical side of Winkle makes his move and leaves the Chase from famous trials from throughout me- hack from devouring it in one go things. Bloodletting touches on Clifford Chase family home through an open window, history (including those of Oscar Wilde, was exhaustion, and that the book is culture and relationships, and 2_5bpp. Grove Press, and heads for the woods, as all bears. Socrates, Galileo, John .Scopeet to divided into appealing stories that delivers them in many voices. £12.99 whether real or stuffed. are wont to do. try and prove Winkie's guilt and bring can he digested individually, or taken varying from huntour to drama. 'The joys of the outside world are almost him to "justice". as a whole. Although presented as a Lam's casual style of writing in no In writing Winkle. too much for Winkle, and Clifford Chase Winkie is the surreal satire needed to short story collection, the same way makes the stories feel Clifford Chase has created gives the section of the book dealing with remind the world of the ridiculousness of characters crop up throughout the unpolished. Rather, it draws the something of a his amazement at the little things in life a the current "anti-terror" legislation in work, leaving the tracing of their reader into a captivating world conundrum. Is it a surprisingly real emotional punch. both this country and the United States. journeys from the last time they were usually portrayed only by courtroom thriller? A well-timed satire? Somehow (and extremely eindontly), even if it is told from the perspective of involved up to the reader. These two sensationalised hospital dramas. The answer lies somewhere between the Winkle gives birth to the imaginatively an anthropomorphic teddy bear. ways in which the book can be read Between stories, his voice skilfully two. Winkie is the tale of what appears to named Baby Winkie, his daughter, who Winkie's struggle for justice is made one scramble for hints more switches from that of a hopeful he an unremarkable plush teddy bear of is stolen away from him by a surprisingly compelling. which is than the average novel does: are the young man to that of a serious indetermihate gender (although it spends stereotypical nutty professor type who primarily down to Chase's writing style, experiences described during med woman doctor to that of a potential most of the novel vaguely masculine), also lives in the woods, building bombs which is extremely easy in meander school application directly patient for the psychiatric ward, which is passed down through to dispatch to all and sundry who he feels through on a sunny day instead of doing responsible for the choices and As I read the first few stories, I generations of the same family. have wronged him in some way. any form of revision. and it has some attitudes of the characters in later was worried that the book would Throughout his long life he suffers from Unfortunately, our eponymous hero occasional momentts of real beauty. I'd stories? lt's not made expressly clear make me regret my choice of career emotional torment, awaiting the has decided to come to life at a point at quite strongly recommend Winkle to and-, as the reader, you can make path and want to become u- doctor. In inevitable day to come when he will be which the Western world is gripped by anyone who can get past. the ridiculous whatever conjectures you fancy the end. it has not done so. but has abandoned by each child as they grow up nerve tingling paranoia with regard to name of the title character and the truly about the substantial gaps. At times. certainly made me consider the and no longer have need of his silent but anyone even breathing the world terrifying image of an X-ray of the toy. I did wish that certain characters profession differently. Bloodletting appreciative friendship. terrorist, and Winkie is arrested by the which is one of many similarly traumatic were developed further in additional and Miraculous Cures was a joy to One day. through means that are FBI not long after having launched his images. All told. Winkle was an excellent stories, but I suppose that is more a read, and I would consider it an extremely poetic and have a marvellous attempt to rescue Baby Winkle, found as diversion, with genuine emotional sign of Lam's skill as a storyteller invaluable addition to anyone's lyrical quality but mean basically he is in the professor's cabin. full of impact, and suspense about Winkie's fate than some son of deficiency. library. nothing. Winkle realises that he can bomb schematics and such. Winkle is maintained until the very last pages. The collection of stories spans a move, and apparently also talk. held for months without contact with the Demented, but glorious. wide range of medical experiences, (9/10) Discovering that he now has a means to outside world and, when he finally (8/10) giving readers a glimpse into the escape the futility of his life. Winkie comes to trial, the prosecution use cases By Katie Dunn realities of the medical system. By Thea Whitman

34 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org,uk Friday, May 4, 2007

Do I Suck Mummy's Finger?

he increasingly prominent sun is snatched Life on Mars away from our of course) says - good things conic to brightening up everyone's day- screens with one hand - the withered those who wait. Mark. the socially T It means we can go in Hyde tint' she delicately held out her other inept Beek obsessed with military Park. revision notes in hand. more - the nicely manicured one - in the invasions and bureaucracy and Jet, the prepared to do some hard graft in the palm of which. was Peep Show. work-shy neo-adolescent obsessed with presence of such light and warmth than The time warp cop show that is Life Big Sate and sex returned to our we would be in the solitary of our own on Mars had ran its course, albeit a screens and, arg,uahly, funnier than bedrooms. 01 course a quick game of very short one It will though he ever- football won't divert \ nu. Nor will a remembered all the more vividly and The first episode began in a home trip to the ice cream van, or the ensuing with all the more fondness because it store as (masquerading as it discussion) ernharassment of a white substance was cut down in its prime: ended when fiance Sophie told Mark which sugar dribbling down snug chin. Your mates the makers wanted it to he rather than pot to buy and what fashionable clothes arriving to partake in sonic serious when TV bosses dictated. Just like to wear. Their deviously satirical studying also will not a dent in your Faulty Towers and The Office before dialogue coupled with Murk's tuner revision time make. Of course seven it, Life on Mars ran for just two series monologue sliced through popular hours later- you're using the notes as a which hopelully means it will remain culture - a world of 'jeans with tips but makeshift rug haying not read a word encased in an amber preserve no pockets' and -I shirts with mass of them and tucking into a lovely beef untouchable by age or tired repetition murdering dictators on the front' - with and hone burger. (we're looking at you Friends)- one broad swipe, The sharp black Yet despite this mass distracting The drama ended with DCL Sam humour was a sign of things to conic. thing we call 'sunshine' bringing Tyler taking Ins own life in an effort to the events climaxing vs ith a superb happiness you still feel a sad tinge: am return to the world of 1973. one which moment when a pissed father-in-law to I right'! That'll he the end of this year's he had come to call home. It was a he - with Mark and Jet in tow - petrol television comment you' re tragic yet strangely uplifting rinale that bombed a neighbour's barn under the unintentionally mourning. But mourn seemed to forever unite him with the assumption the guy was shagging his I. not! Damn it. we shall celebrate! And age, and people. he used The wife. This prompted a classic speech celebrate the only way we now how; - beautifully haunting acoustic rendition from Jet to Mark: "Stop moaning. no not by taking some happy pills. of 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' by we're out with a man who owns guns. stripping naked and doing 'the the late Israel Karnakawiwo'ole that You're chucking his daughter and I've helicopter' with our dangles - by played over the climactic moments screwed his wife, tonight is going. it indulging in some of the past year's summed the show up perfectly, It was hit weird, extremely fucking well fog best televisual moments. Either that or all about dreaming for a place we want us!" we'll just cobble together a couple of to be in and getting to that place. Ah. I I think that, in a nutshell, has been the personal highlights that our hazy feel all floary, and a bit queer. this year's Television HQ / global memories can actually recollect. Yet just as one brilliant programme message: do whatever you want to. it They say that when one door shuts ended another began: or rather. re- won't matter. because alcohol will another door opens ( -they' of course started. It felt like an age between the always point the finger in the opposite being eternally optimistic huggers)- A last series of Peep Show and the direction. kw weeks ago this sentiment came current one, but - like the motto to a true at Television HQ. Just as Fate pint of Guinness (minus the foam logo By Laurie Whitwell Blast from the past! TV, this is your life... Time again to take a nostalgic look back at memorable shows from a bygone era. This week... The Future (not an actual show) Your life is great

uck the past, Hakuna Matata illegal tree climbing and unsightly through the return voyage. but that's a Over the past three years I have Marissa die in the everyday, Jerry- and many other classic Disney street chalk drawings. Gold. Oh and lot of studying in a short space 01 dedicated my life. at times in horrific Springer-like. road rage battle that is Fquotes. It's sunny now and the news is, the BBC are working on a time! Good luck. conditions (such as the time The 0.C: a polar bear on crack run %%.., "se all got to start looking forward, musical dramatisation of the last days Word on the grape vine also seems couldn't afford both a starter and rampage in Lost and, more to the future, Yes it's been fun in the life of Harold Shipman. can't to be that.... I'm sorry. 1 cant keep this dessert at the Argentinean Steak importantly. Hollyoaks being granted reminiscing about various wait for that. What about reality TV. going any longer. I've been lying to House) in the pursuit of a mind a bigger budget so that the characters programmes lmin a golden age of TV where on earth can they take that? you. The fact is 1 dont know what the bogglingly enigma. known to many can bust some moves in the opening but that has to stop now. As my Well ITV have plans, big plans. Think future holds for TV. I've never known. as a degree. As a man of solitude and credits. All in all, I have to say that I splendid Co- Editor, Laurie Whitwell Bits Brother meets Shipwrecked meets I wish I did. I'm sorry. I feel like a prayer, I refrained from taking part in have enjoyed the last three years of has just pointed out to me. 'The future Apollo 13 ITV arc taking 20 fraud. The only people who have the debauchery and alcoholism to escape television, I VC cried. I've laughed. is where it's at'. and he's right, So randomly selected British citizens and key to that magical kingdom are the the mundane routine of university. I've wanked Btu most Programme Etlitofs and Designers. and decided to watch TV: and boy. with this in mind. let's take a look at launching them into space. Journey of importantly. I've eared! ...., what the future holds for television... u life time you might think, however Let's not get hung up on my lies. did I make the right choice. Hel-lo, well look) here. not sooner what the contestants don't know is I've admitted them and it's time to In my time at lJni I have had I jumped iuto the net than this that none of the other contestants are move tin. What I can assure you is that witnessed Jack Batter kill more hole peach popped up. Channel 1. are in any way qualified to man a space TV is going nowhere soon. As lung as people in a week then syphilis: By Sebastian Haire set to commission a show shuttle and what's more there's only there are chairs, awkward silences and ins es tigating. the numerous enough air for W. let the fun begin! colds. TV will always have a place. accusations thrusted at youths ITV insist that there will of course he invuls ing various incidents such as onboard manuals to guide them By Andrew Edelston

Your life sucks

Now I don't wish to complete!y damn fine writing on how good it is. contradict.- all that was said above now read some distinctly average however. I will. When the TV Editor. journalism - as I'm running out of Andrew Edelston, rang me and said. time - on how had it is. There's a 'Sebastian you handsome devil. I show on I don't know how many need your help.' I replied, 'Andy. times n week where contestants may I call you that? Say no more. I'm choose it sodding red box and shout your man!' And you know what I deal like moroiw and at 1'_ in the meant it' You see he wanted me to morning there in no longer porn on comment on how great and rubbish 4.1 Five. but a quiz— Fucking brilliant, was going to say shit, but I'm not one to be crude) television is, Well you've already read some By Sebastian Haire Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 35 Television

fiwobebwee the best chat show on tel- Bonham-Carter and Scurndee band. Friday Night'W/ Jonathan Ross evision at the moment. But that's not The Veiw. Oh his tongue's going to he Friday BBC1 weawy saying much. Apologies to Sole by the end of the nie,ht. Just 111i Wossy for the lazy I ithp joke. Any- thought. maybe his peraisrani rim-job- ay May 10:35p.m ► this week JR yeah, JR1 licks the bing of guests is the reason for his • hairy arse!: of Rob 'Desperate Dim lisp? 4th chin' Brydon. Helena 'Apple hind- Laurie Whitwell "0* ,

club ONE Two it 1 five Bojo Beach Club 1 4 FEEL GOOD FRIDAY 6.00 Breakfast. 9.15 Found. 6.00 Citleebies Firnbles 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.10 The Hoobs. 6.35 The Hoobs. 6.00 The Save-Ums! 6.10 Fifi and NIGHTS 10.00 Homes under the Hammer. Story Makers 635 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 7,40 Freshly Squeezed. 7.25 the Flovverens. 6.25 Franny's Feet. Radio Aire Ws 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy. CI3BC: Arthur. 7.15 ChuckleVision. Loose Women. 1.10 IN Lunchtime Everybody Loves Raymond. 7.55 6.40 Bed Bath. 6.45 Funky Town. 11.30 Car Booty. 12.15 Bargain 7.30 Get 100. 8.00 Bring It On. Just Shout Me. 8.25 Just Shoot 6.50 The tvlilkshakel Show. 7.20 Cockpit News; Weather. 2.00 Midsomer THE SUSION Hunt. 1.00 BBC News: Weather. 8.30 Ctietebies: Jackanory Junior. Murders. 3.00 Half Tort Hospital Me. 8.55 Frasier. 9.20 Frasier. Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends. indle. electro & guitars 1.30 Regional News and Weather. 8.45 Numberjacks. 9.00 Nina and with Jeremy Kyle. 4.00 Daily 9,50 Will and Grace 10.20 7.30 Little Princess. 7.45 Make 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Doctors. the Neurons. 9.15 Bruin, 9.25 Me Cooks. 5.00 The Royal. Without a Trace. 11.10 Without a Way for Noddy 8.00 Say tt with Creation 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. 3.20 BBC Tool 9.45 Something Special. Trace. 12.00 News at Noon. 12.30 Noddy. 8.05 Fifi and the UNITE 6.00 Calendar. anthems, dance & r'n' News; Weather; Regional News. 10.00 Postman Pat. 10.15 The 6.30 ITV Evening News; Burgh island: Checking into Flowertats, 8.20 Peppa Pig. 8.25 la 3.25 Lazytown. 3.50 The Roly Mo Show. 10.30 The Maths Weather. History. 12,45 Life Begins Again. Thomas & Friends 8,40 Old Bear Faversham iikeaballs. 4.00 Prank Patrol. 4.30 Channel, 10.40 The Maths 7.00 Eirimerdale. Will Kelly 1.50 FILM Dakota incident (1956). Stories. 8.50 Mio Mao, 9.00 The NEW BOHEMIA Extreme Animals. 5.00 Totally Channel. 10.50 Watch. 11.05 get banged up when she's Western, starring Linda Darnell and Wright Stuff. 10.30 Trisha with speciOI guests Marc Doctor Who. 5.25 Newsround. Tales of Europe. 11.20 Focus. late for her trial? Billy gets Dale Robertson 3.30 Countdown. Goddard. 11.30 live news. 12.00 Mac 8. MC MG pHerol 535 Neighbours 11.40 Primary History: Saxons and a job away from the 4.15 Deal or No Deal, 5.00 The Home and Away. 12.30 Britain's Halo 6.00 BBC News and Vikings. 12.00 The Daily Politics, village. Ashley returns. Carl New Paul O'Grady Show. Worst... Hairdresser. 1.30 Russell THAT BUNG THING Weather. 12,30 Working Lunch. 1.30 World is relieved that Jimmy's 6.00 The Simpson. Grant's Postcards. 1.35 FILM. The hip hop, electro. d' n' b 630 Look North; Weather. Championship Snooker. come hark. 6.30 Hollyoaks. Following the Long Shot (2004). Drama, starring incidents with Will one of Julie Benz and Paul Le Mal. 3.40 Hifi Club 7.00 A Question of Sport. 6.00 Eggheads. 7.30 Coronation Street. FUNKSOULNATION 7.30 The Flight, Nearly 70 6.30 Great British Menu. Atul Deirdre is left deserted the students returns home. five news update. 3.45 FILM: classic 70's soul, funk years after the RAF won Kochhar and Stuart Gilles when Ken visits an old Will tries to fool a Family Plan (2005) Comedy, the Battle of Britain, a cook their entire menus for flame. Paul hits the battle. psychiatrist. starring Tori Spelling and Metropolitan University unique group of pilots is the panel of judges, who Mel worries that her 7.00 Channel 4 News. Christopher Cass. 5.30 five news. STAR + ELECTRIC HEAD me101. rock & indie keeping the last of its will then name the chef to family's dodgy past may 8.00 A Place in the Sun: 6.00 Home and Away, Ric's Spitfires and Herriranes in represent the South East in harm her career plans, Home or Away. Jason day of reckoning arrives as Mission the air. Here cameras the national final. 8.00 fraud Frenzy: Tonight.. Crawley wants to run a pub his oral begins. Can Rachel VIREALITE follow them. 7.00 World Championship Fiona Foster reports on the in Kent but his partner and Kim mend the rift in hardcore Nichola would prefer a their relationship? Tensions 8.00 EastEnders. It's May's Snooker. Hazel Irvine damage done by out of Rios birthday, but she struggles introduces live action from control credit card fraud. Spanish B&B. explode in the wake of THE SUPPER CLUB to cope. Max worries that the penultimate session of As police turn their backs 9.00 Ugly Betty. Betty Ric's trial. Indic,. elect() pop Tanya is keeping secrets the first semi-final. The on the trime, victims often impulsively asks her 6.30 Two and a Half Men. commentary team is Clive face a battle with banks to orthodontist to be her date 7.00 M Sandinista from him, Billy puts rock. indie, funk. soul pressure on Honey. Everton, Dennis Taylor, recover stolen funds. after Henry insists on her 7 30 Meanfiveenews MMachines.aC This 8.30 My Family. Michael John Virgo and Willie 8.30 Agatha Christie's going to Charlie's birthday edition looks at impressive The Subculture succeeds in placing the Thorne. Marple. Miss Marple is party. ships, including aircraft FRIDAY FLOCK whole family on The 9.00 Maxwell. Drama telling called by an old friend to 10.00 Derren Brown: Trick or carriers, ships on legs, goth. 80's. industrial Weakest Link, but Anne the final stages of media help discover who Treat. Derren teaches a minehunters and tugboats. woman to play concert- 8.00 Super Bears. Including a University, Stylus Robinson is about to raise tycoon Robert Maxwell's strangled a young dancer FRINTY more difficult questions fife. Cracks are appearing in in the library of Gossingtoo standard piano in just two look at their extraordinary pop, r'o'b. Indic, than expected his business empire arid, Hall. weeks. strength. agility and powers 9.00 Have I Got News for with time running out, he 10.30 IW News; Weather. The 10.30 Peep Show. Jeremy gets a of sensory perception Wire job working as a handyman 9.00 NC1S. A set of marine dog POLAROID You, Haves by Bill Barley sets about trying to save his latest national and with special guest with panellists Armando skin. international news, plus For his hero. techno tags are found in a forest Iannucci and and Adam 10.30 Newsnight. Kirsty Wark national weather. Including musician Russell, but Mark where a serial killer could gigs Ruston. introduces comprehensive local news programmes is suspicious of Russell's be at large 9.30 Ruddy Hell! It's Harry coverage of today's 11.00 It Shouldn't Happen to motivation. 10.00 Law and Order: MUMM-RA 11.05 Peter Kay's Phoenix Criminal Intent. When and Paul. Footballer important national and a Travel Reporter. Alan Co llege of Music, Venue Didier Peskovitch falls foul international news stories Whicker, Judith Chalmers, Nights. Phoebe Morton is murdered SHASVAT of his girlfriend in a 11.35 Later_with Jools Benedict Allen, Magenta 11.40 4 Music Transmission on the phone with a 911 shopping Holland. loots Holland De Vine and Paul O'Grady With T-Mobile. operator, Goren and Eames Common Place 10.00 BBC News; Regional introduces a diverse mix of areatinong those sharing 12.40 4 Music The ID Set soon realise she is one of EATS TAPES News: Weather. new musical talent and their highs and lows of Presents: Hot Club de Pans. five women murdered by arigisc;Vel 10.35 Friday Night with established artists, travel reporting. 12.55 4 Music: 4Play the same person. Jonathan Ross. Guests including Arctic Monkeys, 12.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play. Simple Kid 1,10 11_00 Short Angry Men: include comedian-turned- Bryan Ferry, Tinariwen, C55, 4.10 60 Minute Makeover 5.00 Goalissimot 2.05 Hidden Lives. Packhorse ACK ACK ACK actor Rob Brydon and The Hold Steady, and Henri IN Nightscreen 5.30 IN Early PartyPokercom Poker Documentary about men actress Helena Bonham Salvador. Morning News. Nations Cup. 3.05 Gurnball whose height has seriously Carter. 12.35 World Championship 3000. 3.35 Trans World affected their lives in very 11.35 FILM: Three Amigos! Snooker, 1.25 Star Trek. 2.15 Star Sport. 4.30 Adrenalin Rush. different ways (1986). Trek 3.05 Malcolm in the Middle, 4.55 Countdown 5.40 12.00 Prison Break. 1.00 Quiz 1.20 Joins BBC News 24 3.30 Close New Shoots: Films from Call. 5.35 Wildlife SOS. Disabled Directors. z•om ,093

Important News for Students of Film, TV and Theatre

Next term a new online service will be launched specifically for students of Film, TV and Theatre. The aim of the service is to build the UK's largest database of student/independent film-makers and playwrights, which can be used by other student and independent production teams sourcing crew and cast for their next project.

If you would like your details included in the database, where they can be viewed by other like-minded production teams looking for crew, then go to the address below for more information.

www.theproductionvillage.com

theproductionvillage ••••• 36 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Television

'FAME! I want to live forever'' achieve that dream. They've all got a Any Dream Will Do Saturday Very gay. If you're into that kind of dream and guess what, they're in jazz then guess what, this show's the luck because any dream wil l do. even BBC1 May one for you. 12 males compete in if it's a gay one, doesn't matter, they live competiton to become the next accept any dream. 7:25pm 5th stage hit They want to live forever and this is how they think they can By Andrew Ede)ston

club Baja Beach Club ONE TWO itv 4 five SHAMELESS PLEASURE Sunrise. 6.55 Franklin. 7.25 6.00 Breakfast. 10.00 Saturday 6.00 CBeebies: Teletubbies. 6.30 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 CITV: Horrid 6.10 The Hoobs, 6.35 The Hoobs. 6.00 Mist: Sheepdog Tales. 7.35 Kitchen. 11.30 Great British Menu. CBeebies: Batamory. 6.50 Henry. 9.35 CITY. Grizzly Tales For 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Little Bondi Beach Club 7.45 Make Way for BOOGIE NIGHTS 12.00 BBC News; Weather. 12.10 CBeebies: Step Inside. 7.00 CBBC: Gruesome Kids. 9.50 CITY: The Morning Line. 8.55 T4: Friends. Princess. Noddy. 755 Say It with Noddy. from the makers of Football Focus. 1.00 World Batfink. 7.10 Arthur. 7.35 Watch Amazing Adrenalini Brothers, 9.25 T4: Musicool. 10.25 T4: 'Love Train' Championship Snooker. 4.30 Final My Chops. 8.00 Mona the 10.00 CITY: Jungle Run 10.30 Popworld. 11.1514: Friends. 8.00 Harry and His Bucket Full of 8.15 Harry and His Score. 5.10 BBC News; Regional Vampire 8.30 The Story of Tracy CITY: King Arthur's Disasters. 11.50 T4. Friends. 12.25 T4: Dinosaurs. Creation Bucket Full of Dinosaurs. 8.30 The LIVE AT CREATION News: Weather. 5.30 Just for Beaker 9.00 Hider in The House. 11.00 CITY: My Parents are Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam chart & patty Laughs. 10.00 What's New Scooby Doo? Aliens. 11.30 Spider-Man 3: UK Diaries. 12.55 14: Shipwrecked Book of Pooh. 9.00 Ebb and Flo. 6.00 The National Lottery 10.20 The Cramp Twins 10.30 Premiere Special. 12.00 Saturday 2007; Battle of the Islands. 2.00 9,05 Peppa Pig, 9,15 Fifi and the Evolution People's Quiz. Totally Doctor Who. 11.00 The Cooks. 1.30 ITV News; Weather. Channel 4 Racing from Newmarket Flowenots. 9.30 Jane and the I LOVE U.K. Dragon. 10.00 Fifth Gear. 11.00 chart. party. r'o'b 7.00 Doctor Who. Time- Story of Tracy Beaker. 11.30 The 1.35 Calendar News and Weather. and Goodwood. 4.15 Location, travelling traumas with the Fairly Odd Parents. 11.45 1.40 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: Location, Location. 4.50 Deal or World's Strongest Man. 12.05 Faversham Timelord in the TARDIS. Sportsround. 12,00 See Hear, The Celtic Riddle (2003). Drama. No Deal Classic. 5.35 Monarchy by Man Eaters: Fangs and Claws. BAD SNEAKERS Martha returns home, but 12.30 Badminton Horse Trials, starring Angela Lansbury and David Starkey. 1.05 Built for the Kill: Snake. 1.50 rock, punk. funk, soul has to save her family from 4.30 World Championship Tegan West. 3.15 Mk Agatha 6.40 Channel 4 News. FILM: The Woman in Question Halo the schemes of the Snooker. 5.25 Flog It! Christie's Thirteen at Dinner Including sport and (1950) Crime, starring Jean Kent VOODOO monstrous Professor 6.10 The Culture Show, Arts (1985). Murder Mystery, starring weather. and Dirk Bogarde. 3.25 FILM: r'n'b, hip hop Lazans. and culture stories of the Peter Ustinov and Faye Dunaway. 7.05 th World. Colombo: Requiem for a Falling 7.45 Any Dream Will Do. week, including reports on 5.10 Calendar News, Sport and Documentary series. Star (1973). Crime, starring Peter HiFi Club 8.45 Casualty. Tess is in Falk and Anne Baxter. 4.55 FILM: THE BOOGALOO CLUB the Manic Street Preachers, Weather. 5.25 IN News: Sports President Evo Morales funk, jazz. lotin. reggae turmoil when Sam fails to Neil Hannon on the Results; Weather 5.40 You've promised land reform to Rorketman (1997). Comedy. show up for work. Nathan Eurovision Song Contest, Been Framed! help Bolivia's indigenous starring Harland Williams and My Hou se establishes contact of a cartoonist Steve Bell, and 6.40 Vernon Kay's peoples, but the move has Jessica Lundy. BASICSS Spider-Man 3 led to conflict with land 6.25 FILM: Grumpy Old Men with Gabriel Ananda new kind whilst Selena Gameshow Marathon. [live] & Ketaloco makes a tough decision 7.00 World Championship This week Vernon Kay barons. (1993). Two neighbours affecting their future. Snooker. Hazel Irvine is at presents Name That Tune, 7.35 Houses of Power. who have been bitter rivals Nu 9.35 The National Lottery The Crucible for the climax bringing some of the Revealing documentary in since a youthful feud over a GLITTERBALL Draws. Michael Ball of the second semi-final nation's best•loved songs which architecture expert woman renew their 70s & 80s music presents the draws live where the winner will to your living room. Simon Thurley gains unique animosity when an The Subculture from Lottery HQ, including pocket at least f 110,000. 7.45 Grease Is the Word: access to the world's most attractive widow arrives in IMAGINARY FRIENDS the Thunderball, Dream 10.00 Have I Got a Bit More Live. The remaining iconic political buildings • town, starring Jack Lernmon electroclash. synthpop Number and Lotto draws. News for You. Paul couples sing songs from Number 10, The White and Walter Matthau. Joining him are Eurovision Merton and Ian Hislop the movie as they try to House and The Kremlin 8.15 five news and sport. University. Pulse & Mine UK representatives, Scooch. continue to entertain in the 9.05 FILM: Road to Perdition 8.40 NCIS. A million-dollar ROCK OF AGES please the judges and win rock & metal 9.45 Any Dream Will Do. extended version of the the public vote. (2002). Complex and reward for a missing person Graham Norton reveals classic news quiz. Bill Bailey 9.15 Who Wants to Be a violent Osca•winning noir quickly becomes a murder West Indian Centre, who will be the next is the guest host. with Millionaire? thriller set in 30s gangland investigation. Chapel town potential Joseph to leave panellists Armando lannuai 10.10 Grease Is the Word Chicago as a hit man and 9.35 CSI:NY. Crime drama. SUBDUB 'ration Steppers Sound the competition as nine and Adam Buxton. Results. The two couples his son go on the road While Stella and Flack System vs Aba Shanti-1 boys become eight 10.40 TOTP2 Goes Eurovisionl with the lowest votes horn seeking revenge atter the investigate the death of a Sound System, following the live sing•off. Steve Wright presents a the public perform in a murder of their faintly, drag queen, Danny and 10.15 BBC News; Weather. special celebration of the Grease sing-off in front of starring Tom Hanks and Mac look into the case of a Wire ROCK&ROLL BBC News; Weather. very best (and the very the fudges. Paul Newman. high-powered executive DJ Debstcr. 10.30 Match of the Day. Gary worst) of Eurovision in 10.40 Parkinson. New. Doctor 11.15 FILM: The Long Good found dead in a salt truck. Lineker presents advance of the 2007 Who star David Tennant, Friday (1980). Violent 10.35 law and Order. Powerful gigs Premiership highlights. contest comedian David Mitchell, thriller. A shady mob boss American drama series Brudenell Social Manchester United face 11.40 FILM: The Fabulous who is trying to clinch a Club actress Amanda Holden, about lawyers and police. HOLLY GOLIGHTY & THE Manchester City, West Ham Baker Boys (1989). and crooner Michael Buble vital land deal finds his When a jewellery store is BROKEOFFS take on Bolton, Aston Villa Comedy drama about the - who also performs live in employees falling victim to robbed, the team host Sheffield United and tensions that grow between the studio - all that to a series of bombings and immediately set about Q ockpit Fulham meet Liverpool. a pair of piano-playing Michael Parkinson. murders, starring Bob tracking down a civic- COMPLETE STONE ROSES 12.00 FILM: Throw Momma from brothers who take on a (tribute) 11.45 ITV News; Weather. Hoskins and Helen Mirren. minded witness the Train (1987). Black Comedy, singer to revive their 12,00 ITV Play: Make Your Play. 1.20 Ibiza Rocks with Sony 11.35 Grey's Anatomy. Medical Rios starring Billy Crystal and Danny fortunes on the cocktail- 3.50 Don't Move, Improve. Ericsson. 1.55 FILM: Thursday drama following the DIAMOND HEAD' DeVito. 1.25 Friday Night with lounge circuit of Seattle, 4.30 Don't Move, Improve (1998). Thriller, stamng Thomas fortunes of first year for tickets ring: 08709 Jonathan Ross. 2.25 Joins BBC starring Jeff Bridges and 5.00 IN Nightscreen. 5.30 Jane and Aaron Eckhart. 3.30 interns. George begins to 913913 News 24. Michelle Pfeiffer. IN Early Morning News. FILM: 20 Dates (1999). Comedy, overstay his welcome. 1.30 The Culture Show. 2.20 FILM: starring Myles Berkowitz and Meredith learns a secret Miss Julie (1999). Romance. Elisabeth Wagner. 4.55 The Dish. about her father starring Saffron Burrows and Peter 5.05 Loves Me, Loves Me Not. 12.35 Grey's Anatomy. 1.35 Quiz Mullen. 4.00 Close 5.15 IV93 In Your Dreams. 5.25 Call 5.35 Wildlife SOS. Countdown.

LUU Student Brand Managers

Are you a dynamic, outgoing. people person who can act on your own initiative? Would you like to gain valuable marketing experience?

We are looking for two Student Brand Managers to work closely with the Union's central marketing team. You will work to raise the profile of LUU's activities and services through implementing a range of promotional campaigns. This will involve working to targets to increase participation in our broad range of membership services and increase sales in our outlets.

The successful applicants will receive £5.52 per hour and will be expected to work a minimum of eight hours per week during term time. In return you will receive consistent marketing one-to-one support and valuable marketing experience for your CV. Closing Date: All application forms need to be returned to LUU Reception by 12:00 noon, Thursday 10th May 2007, Collect an application form and candidate information pack from Joblink, in the Union building.

Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 37

Most people cook in their kitchens. it healthy portion of it at that). Runways. Cooking in the danger zone makes sense. Not these mother lockers, cliff edges. bear cages you name it, Sunday BBC2 no way. These Had ass dogs take their they'll cook there. These goys will shit right to the limit and then some. literally walk into a lion's den and fry May 7:00pm Not content with stoves and roofs, no up some bacon. no shit. Eye of the fucking way, these crazy kids quell storm. 6th their anti' ties; with danger (and By Andrew Edeiston

num Ti itv club ONE 4 five Evolution 6.00 Breakfast_ 7.35 Moto GP: 6.00 Teletubbies. 6.30 Balamory. 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 C ITV: Art 6.10 The Hoods. 6.35 The Hocks, 6,00 The Save-Urns? 6.10 Fill and THE BIG BEEF Shanghai. 9.00 Sunday AM. 10.00 6.50 Step Inside. 7.00 CBBC: 7.00 the Flowenots. 6,20 Franny's Feet. SUNDISSENTIAL NORTH Attack. 9.45 CITY: Mr Bean: The Trans World Sport. 7.55 9TH BIRTHDAY' Heaven and Earth with Gloria Batfink, 7.10 Legend of the Animated Series_ 10.00 CITV: Velux 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo 6.35 Sailor Sid. 6.40 Bird Bath. Anne Savage, Rob Tisse- Hunniford. 11.00 Countryftle. Dragon. 7.30 Smile, 9.30 Match of Feodor. 10.10 CITY: Pocoyo, Challenge. 8.25 New Shoots: Films 6.45 Franklin. 710 Mist no vs Steve Flit, Proteus, 12.00 The Politics Show. 1.00 the Day. 11.00 Something for the 10.15 CITV: Jim lam and Sunny. from Disabled Directors. 8.55 74: Sheepdog Tales. 7.25 Little Alex Kidd. Mark E.G, 'Alio 'Allot 1.35 Keeping Up Weekend. 12.30 inside Sport 1.15 liollyciaks Omnibus. 11.25 T4: Princess_ 7.40 Make Way for Zany, Dark By Design 11.30 The Sunday Edition with and more for tickets Appearances-.2.05 Murder, She Premiership Rugby. 2,00 Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Noddy. 7.50 Say It with Noddy. ring: 08709 913913 Wrote. 2.50 EastEnders. 4.45 We Badminton Horse Trials. 3.00 Catherwood. 12.30 Calendar Diaries. 12.00 14: Musicool: The 8.00 Harry and His Bucket Full of Love the Sky at Night. 5.15 Points World Championship Snooker. 5.30 News and Sport. 12.35 American Live Show. 1.40 Channel 4 Racing Dinosaurs. 8.15 Harry and His Faversham of View. 5.30 Shaun the Sheep. Big Cat Diary Family Histories. Idol. 1.35 American Idol. 2.40 from Newmarket and Salisbury. Bucket Full of Dinosaurs. 830 The NEW BOHEMIA with DJ Format, Dirty 5.40 Songs of Praise. 6.00 Water Voles. FILM: Clockwise (19871. Comedy, 4.00 T4: Ugly Betty. 5.00 Deal or Book of Pooh. 9.00 Ebb and Flo. Diggers. ASM. Klakanevil 6.15 Castaway. Documentary presenting an starring John Cleese and Alison No Deal. 5.45 Scrapheap 9.05 Peppa Pig 9.15 Fill and the & Gkut, 6,50 Antiques Roadshow. intimate portrait of one of Steadman. 4.25 FILM: Never Been Challenge Flowences. 9.30 Jane and the Michael Aspel and the Britain's most charming Kissed (1999i 6.05 The World 6.45 Shipwrecked 2007: Dragon_ 10,00 Property Halo Roadshow experts visit wild animals, following a on a Plate. Vaisakhi is the most Battle of the Islands. Developing Abroad. 11.00 Build a BIG HITTERS: ROCKSTAR VS BUNG THING Wont Stewart in Co family of water voles living important celebration of the year Desert island reality series. New Life in the Country. 12.00 with Danny McNamara Down. Among the on a canal in Derbyshire for Yorkshire's Sikhs Rachel Green Both teams' efforts to House Doctor: Inside and Out. [Embrace] discoveries is a painting though a typical year. helps cook festive food for impress new arrival Jonno 12.55 FILM: Ten Wanted Men once thrown on a skip and 6.10 Natural World. Nature thousands of hungry mouths. are hampered by (19541. Western, stamng Randolph Mint 2.20 JOY now valued at between 20 documentary featuring the 6.30 Calendar News and prepatations for a pontoon Scott and Jocelyn Brando, with Joey Beltrarn. and 30,000 pounds. wildlife of Hawaii's famous Sport, raft race. FILM: To Walk with Lions (1999). Kells&Tots, Misspercep- 7.35 BBC News; Weather, surf Lone and the surfers 6.45 ITV News; Weather, 7.45 Channel 4 News. Drama, starring Richard Harris and tion )live] & Caine Brown 7.50 Regional News and and scientists who are 7.00 Emmerdale. Viv's Including sport and John Michie. 4.20 five news and Weather. fighting to protect it devastated as Bob makes a weather. sport. 4.30 FILM: Calamity Jane The Subculture BLACK SHEEP 8.00 Victoria's Empire. Wood 7.00 Cooking in the Danger momentous decision. 8.00 Wife Swap. Series in I19531. Musical Comedy, starring Both finds out about the slave Zone. Stefan Gales makes Scarlet is shocked to which wives swap their Doris Day and Howard Keel. trade in Ghana and culinary journeys, with food uncover Louise's actions. husbands, children and 6.20 Everybody Hates Chris. wire Jamaica as a way in to controversial Debbie's furious at Eti's homes. A pole-dancing Chris's election speech is FREQUENCY FM 151 issues that affect people's game playing. single mother switches stolen by Caruso, The local BIRTHDAY 9.00 Dahiel and Pascoe. over 40 Ws over 11 When a TV mind-control lives. This episode looks at 730 Coronation Street. places with Donna, mother funeral director rents the hours including Stepba. experiment ends in murder, foods we in Britain consider Leanne is met by a of teenage daughters upstairs apartment. High Pressure Crew. Dalziel and Pascoe find taboo. surprised customer Fiz Dallas, Swayze and Pans_ 6.45 Everybody Hates Chris. DiVinction themselves drawn into the 8.00 World Championship sees a face from her past 9330 Lucas and Walliams' - 7.10 Joey. Joey takes matters dark world of the Snooker. Hazel Irvine and at the school play The Perfect Night In. into his own hands when a gigs paranormal. Ray Stubbs introduce live campaign continues to get Comedy's favourite stars child actor causes havoc on ZEBRAHEAD 10.00 BBC News; Weather_ coverage from the second rid of the Motions' shed. get the chance to choose the set of his new movie. 10.20 Match of the Day 2. session of this years final. 8.00 Heartbeat. New. Bernie their ideal night of Gina helps Alex with her Fox & Newt 11.10 The Sky at Night. Patrick Steve Davis and John stands to inherit a fortune- television. Little Britain's love life. THE BLUE KINGS Mom celebrates 50 years Parrott will give their but an old face returns Man Lucas and David 7.35 Joey. Josephs well of The Sky at Night with comments behind the from the dead to stake a Walliams highlight their 8.00 Grey's Anatomy, The THE MEN THEY friends of the programme scenes. claim. A young girl gives favourite TV shows and interns deal with a family COULDN'T HANG including Terry Pratchen 11.00 Graham Norton Uncut. birth unexpectedly, films. involved in a ram accident and Myfeene Klass. Graham Norton presents a bringing shame on her 11.10 FILM: Stand by Me Derek lets his emotions out Metropolitan University RISE AGAINST" 11.40 FILM: Invasion of the show focusing on the odder father. (1986), Bittersweet tale 9.00 Grey's Anatomy, for tickets ring: Body Snatchers (1978). aspects of celebrity culture. 9.00 Kingdom. A fisherman's about four young boys 10.00 FILM; Hollow Man 08709 913913 Sci-fi thriller about a San Gialtain's guests are Dawn trawler is wrecked in an growing up in 19505 (2000). Sci-fi thriller in Francisco public health French and Sarah Beerty, explosion and Lyle is sent Oregon who set off from which a scientist who Sandinista inspector who uncovers a 11.45 Roman's Empire. to investigate further - is home to search for the discovers the secret of SLOW CHERRRY terrifying conspiracy in Comedy series. After a there evidence of body of a missing teenager. invisibility becomes which outer .space pods drunken night of passion sabotage? 12.45 Ibiza Rocks with Sony intoxicated with his new- *top tickets assume the identity of with Nikki's younger sister 10.00 ITV News; Weather. Ericsson 1.20 Ibiza Rocks found power and begins to .e1:08709 913913 humans, starring Donald Kelly, Leo sees that this 10.15 This is David Gest. with Sony Ericsson. 1.50 see his former colleagues web: alive.co.uk/tickets Sutherland and Brooke could be the perfect way of Tonight he goes house Get Your An Together with as a threat, starring Kevin Knowsley Hall Music Adams. making Nikki realise what hunting in the Cotswolds Harvey Goldsmith. 2.50 Bacon and Elisabeth Shur. Festival feat THE WHO & 1.35 Sign Zone: Holby City. 2.35 she's missing and reunites with Martine Empires al Stone. 350 12.05 BriSCA Formula One Stock KEANE* Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow. 12,15 Family Guy. 12.40 Family McCutchean, Houses of Power, 5.20 Car Racing. 1235 Maio; League 2.ecii.?4ito Jun re r il 3.25 Sign Zone: New Year New Guy. 1.00 FILM: Bubble Boy 11,00 Championship Special. Countdown. Baseball 4.10 Major League Ha You: To Buy or Not to Buy. 3.55 (20-01}. Comedy, starring Jake 12.05 Dunlop British Touring Cars. Soccer. 5.10 BUPA Edinburgh alive. co.uk Joins BBC News 24. Gyllenhaal and Swoosie Kurtz. 12.40 The Moral of the Great Run. 2.20 Close Story. 1.10 ITV Play:

Glitterball. 4.05 The tact 1 993 Jeremy Kyle Show.

WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO DO IT? NEW A KITCHEN TABLE? LUU ONLINE . THE BACK SEAT? ENOTING IN YOUR BED? UNION COUNCIL ELECTIONS NOW YOU CAN VOTE ONLINE OR IN THE UNION FOYER DO IT ANYWHERE 08/05/071 DAM - 1 0/05/077PM YOU LIKE...

e vil, LUU WWW.LUUONLINE.COM/VOTE ui,ion 38 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 Television

The sub-title to this Cutting Edge is cleaner. One day the big one got Monday 'Trapped By My Tw in 'and secret angry and shoved the smaller one Cutting Edge footage of it has been leaked to TV down her bunt crack. Now she strolls May HQ. Trust me it's horrific. One of the round town giving it the big 'I Am' Channel 4 twins has eaten to excess and is now in the knowledge she has a twin 7th a fat sweaty mess. The other looked trapped between her cheeks. 9:00p.m after her body and became a window William Blake

13E151 club TWO itv Bondi Beach ONE 11 4 five Fifi and Club 6.00 Breakfret 9.00 Animal Park. 6.00 Cl3eebies: Fiinhles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.05 Making It. 6.10 The Hoohs. 6.00 The Save-Urns! 6.10 MENTAL MONDAY the Flowertots. 6.25 Franny's Feet, student night 9.45 Homes under the Hammer Story Makers 6.35 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 60 Minute Makeover. 6.35 The Hoobs, 7.00 Freshly 10.45 To Buy or Not to Buy. (BBC: Arthur. 7.15 ChuckleVision. 11.30 60 Minute Makeover. 12.30 Squeezed. 730 Everybody Loves 6.35 Bird Bath. 6.45 Hi•5. 7.15 Evolution 11.30 Bargain Hunt. 12.15 BBC 7.30 Get 100. 8.00 The Story of Loose Women. 1.30 IN Lunchtime Raymond. 7.55 lust Shoot Me. Roary the Racing Car. 7.30 Little MONKEY MAGIC News; Weather 12.35 Regional Tracy Beaker. 8.15 Krypto the News; Weather. 2.00 Midsomer 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier. Princess. 7.45 Make Way for stty based student News and Weather, 12.40 Match Superdog. 8.30 CBeebies: Frasier. 9.50 Will and Grace Noddy. 8.00 Say It with Noddy. t Murders. 3.00 Rosemary and 9.20 of the Day live. 3.10 Keeping Up Jackanory Junior. 8.45 Thyme. 4.00 Agatha Christie's 10.15 Will and Grace. 10.40 FILM: 8.05 Fifi and the Flowertots. 8.20 Fab Café Appearances. 3.40 FILM. Ante Numberjacks, 9.00 Boogie Beebies. Poirot. The Land That Time Forgot (1975). Peppa Pig. 8.25 Thomas & FriendN SON OF THE VILLAGE (1998). Animation. 5.00 Open All 9.15 Brum, 9.25 Mc Tool 9,45 6.00 You've Been Framed! Adventure, starring Doug McClure 8.40 Old Beal Stories. 8.50 Mio 77 IDIOT Hours. 5.30 BBC News. 5.50 Something Special. 10.00 Postman 6.25 Calendar. and John McEnery, 12.20 Life Mao_ 9.00 The Wright Stuff. 10.30 rock, punk & ska Regional News and Weather. Pat. 10.15 The Roly Mo Show. 6.40 ITV Evening News; Begins Again. 1.20 FILM: Battle of Trisha Goddard. 11.30 five news. Flares 6.00 Victoria's Empire. She 10.30 Coast: Wales - The Gower, Weather. the River Plate (1957). War. 12.00 FILM: The Great Race LATE NIGHT LAUNDRY finds out about the slave Rockpools and Dylan Thomas. 7.00 Emmerdale. Terry starring John Gregson and Anthony (1965). Comedy, starring Tony student night trade in Ghana and 10.45 FILM: Billy the Kid (1941). threatens Had when he Ouayle. 3.30 Countdown. 4.15 Curtis and Natalie Wood. 2.55 five Jamaica Western, starring Robert Taylor and discovers the truth. Kelly Deal or No Deal. 5.00 The New news update. 3.00 FILM: Those HiFi Club Magnificent Men in Their Flying SWEET REVIVAL 6.30 Look North; Weather. Brian Donlevy. 12.15 FILM: Quo cracks as the judge delivers Paul O'Grady Show r'n'b, hip hop & soul with 7.00 Play it Again, Bill Oddie Vadis? (19511. Historical, starring a verdict. 6.00 The Simpsons. Machines (1965). Adventure, resident Dis Benji Bolen. attempts to get to grips Robert Taylor and Deborah Ken. 7.30 Coronation Street. 6.30 Hollyoaks. Calvin is starring James Fox and Sarah Martin R & Mark Poppy with the guitar. 3.00 World Championship [canine panics as she concerned about Sonny Miles. 5.30 five news. Luton 8.00 EastEnders, May Snooker 5.30 Flog It! realises that Paul has the getting to school, but 6.00 FILM: Agent Cody Revolution. Call Lane becomes dangerous when 6.00 Eggheads. power to ruin her Louise has other things on Banks (2002). Comedy in SHUFFLE her plans to foil Rob and 6.30 Great British Menu. relationship with Liam. her mind. which a high school Indic, rock Dawn's relationship 7.00 The Trees That Made 8.00 Northern Skies. We head 7.00 Channel 4 News. student moonlighting as a backfire. Stacey looks after Britain. 7.15 FILM: Cheaper By the CIA agent takes on a Rios Ion the breathtaking beauty SPIN a sick Bradley. 7.30 Johnny Kingdom: A of the Peak District - an Dozen (2003). In order to mission which requires him Inc* 8.30 Panorama. lavestigation Year On Exmoor. Johnny aerial journey that begins achieve his dream lob. a rn conquer his Inability to into the increasing Kingdom presents a look at in Sheffield taking in some sports coach moves to the :_011: to gills, starring Frankie gigs separation and segregation the wildlife of the moors of the most glorious big city and is soon left tylaihz and Hilary Duff: between Muslim Asians and woodlands of Exmoor 7.50 five news. THE MY CORPS scenery in Britain. alone to manage 12 and whites. A neighbour brings Johnny 8.30 Coronation Street. Paul children and a loothall 8.00 Fifth Gear. The motoring Josephs Well 9.00 New Tricks. The team get art injured buzzard to look tells Liam that Leanne Is team, starring Steve Martin magazine show returns for I-DEF-I involved with the case of after. bad news, Ken is and Bonnie Hunt. its eleventh series. Vicki one of the last men to be 8.00 World Championship determined to bond with 9.00 Cutting Edge: Trapped risks life and limb in the MaingTin hanged in Britain. Snooker. By My Twin. Intimate most dangerous car stunt FREYED KNOT 10.00 BBC News; Regional 11.00 Ruddy Hell, It's Harry 9.00 The History of Mr Polly. look at the intense and of all: driving a can under a New Roscoe News; Weather. and Paul. Harry Enfield When Alfred Polly fails to complex relationship moving lorry. EMPL5 10,35 Super League Show. and Paul Whitehouse star in find fulfilment as a shop between identical twins. 9.00 Obedient Wives: 11.05 Inside Sport. Gabby a sketch show, joined by keeper, he leaves his wife Director Agnieszka Hidden Lives. This JACK AFRO Logan introduces a weekly Morwenna Banks and Laura and sets out on the open Piotrowska meets devoted programme meets the sports show with opinion Solon. Footballer Didier road to see where freedom 35-year-old sisters Liesbeth women who have decided Packhorse from journalists Steve Peskovdch falls foul of his leads. and Angelique. that the recipe for marital KILL MANTICORE Bunce and Des Kelly, girlfriend in a shopping 11.00 IN News; Weather. 10.00 ER. As blizzards move into bliss lies in obedience, features from James Pearce mall 11.15 Monday Movie FILM: the city, the team work submissiveness and *top tickets and Matthew Pinsent plus 11.30 FILM: Anywhere but Monday Movie: Red hard to save those worst domesticity. tel: 08709 913913 web: alive.co.uk/fickets the latest sports news. Here (1999). Comedy Heat (1988). Action affected. 10.00 Prison Break. In this 11.45 FILM: Godsend (2004). drama about the thriller in which a Soviet 11.05 The Sopranos. Powerful episode, Michael, Sara and coming soon to Leeds Drama about a couple who relationship between a detective arrives in Chicago drama series about a Lincoln ask an old triend for Metropolitan Lint_ make the decision to have daughter who wants a to team up with an mobster going through a help, T-Bag and C-Note SON OF DORI' their eight-year-old son normal life. and her mother, American cop in the hunt mid-life crisis. Tony both run out of options. 23 May cloned following his death whose desire for excitement for a Russian drug dealer leverages Johnny's and Sucre's quest is finally BIFFY CLYRO* in a tragic accident. takes them both all to who killed both their misfortune into a domestic over. 26 May starring Robert De Niro and Beverly Hills to seek partners, starring Arnold upgrade. 11.00 FILM: Wolf (1994). A - adventure, starring Susan 12.10 Sex and the City. 12.45 Sex MARILLION• Greg Kinnear Schwarzenegger and James horrortinged black comedy 3 Jun 1.25 Sign Zone: Panorama. 2.25 Sarandon and Natalie Belushi. and the City. 1.20 Six Feet about a genteel book editor Sign Zone. A Very English Village. Portman. 1.05 UEFA Champions League Under. 2.20 Transmission who is transformed after FROM THE JAM' 3.25 Sign Zone: It's Not Easy 1.15 Joins BBC News 24, 2.00 Talk Weekly. 1.30 ITV Play. Glitterball. With T-Mobile. 3.20 FILM: being bitten by a wolf. 3 Dec Being Green. 3.55 Sign Zone: New Portuguese 1-6. 3.30 Brasil Inside 4.10 The V Festival 2003. 4.35 Hallo Panda 3.50 1.20 NASCAR Nextel Cup. 2.05 Year New You: To Buy or Not to Out 1-5. The V Festival 2003. 5.00 ITV Veronique. 4.00 The USPGA Golf 2.50 NHL Ice Buy_ 4.25 Sign Zone: To Buy or Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early Number Crew 2. 5.40 Hockey, 5.10 French Not to Buy, 4.55 Joins BBC News Morning News. Tudor Times. Football - Le Championnat 24.

Important News for Students of Film, TV and Theatre

Next term a new online service will be launched specifically for students of Film, TV and Theatre. The aim of the service is to build the UK's largest database of student/independent film-makers and playwrights, which can be used by other student and independent production teams sourcing crew and cast for their next project.

If you would like your details included in the database, where they can be viewed by other like-minded production teams looking for crew, then go to the address below for more information.

www.theproductionvillage.com

theproduction village ••••

Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 39

Donal Maclutyre is Irish. Glad we got that round Britain. They'll he visiting all the Return of the Tribe sorted. But just 'cause he's Irish don't go classic hotspots and doing all the local thinking he ain't got no friends. (Double customs. From going cockle picking i n five negatives don't never not rule!) He's got Morecambe to visiting the Red plenty_ A few of which arc from a Papua District in Ipswich these guru ‘k ill La• 8:OOp.m New Guinean tribe. Donal's invited them doing the lot. to stay and he's taking them on a tour Walt Whitman

ooc TWO club ONE itv 4 five Baja Beach Club 6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park_ 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 935 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Treacle People. 6.10 The 6.00 The Save•Urnsl 6.10 Fifi and THE WORM 10.00 Homes under the Hammer. Story Makers 6.35 Ralamoty 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning_ 12.30 Hoobs. 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 the Flowertots. 6.25 Franny's Feel. student night 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy. CBBC. Arthur 7.15 asuckleVisinn loose Women. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Freshly Squeezed. 7.30 Everybody 6.45 Hi'S, 7.15 Roary the Racing Cockpit 11.45 Cash in the Attic. 12.15 7.30 Get 100. 8.00 The Story of News; Weather. 2.00 Midsomer Loves Raymond. 8.00 Just Shoot Car, 8.00 Say It with Noddy 8.05 SLAM DUNK Bargain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News; Tracy Beaker. 8.15 Krypto the Murders. 3.00 For the Rest of Your Me 830 Just Shoot Me. 9.00 Fiii and the Flowertots. 8.20 ska, erno, metal, rock Weather 1.30 Regional News and Superdog. 8.30 CBeelves: Life. 4.00 Agatha Chnstie's Poirot_ Frasier. 9.30 Take Away My Peppa Pig, 8.25 Thomas & Friends Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Jackanory Junior. 8.45 Takeaway Don't Make Me 8.40 Old Bear Stories. 8.50 Miu Fab Café 6.00 Calendar. Regional news, 10.00 EAR CANDY Wars. 2.35 Murder, She Wrote. Numberjacks, 9.00 Bougie Beelines interviews and features. Angry, 10.30 Underdogs. 11.30 Mao. 9.00 The Wright Stuff. 10.30 rock and roll madness 3.20 BBC News; Weather: 9.15 Brum 9.25 Me tool 9.45 Including local weather, The Deadly Knowledge Show Trisha Goddard; 12.00 Home and Regional News. 3.25 CBBC. Pitt Something Special. 10.00 Postman 6.30 ITV Evening News; 12.00 News at Noon. 12.30 Away. 12.30 Colin and Justin to Flares area Kantrop. 150 Watch My Pat. 10.15 The Roly Mo Show. Weather. The latest Supporting Acts. 12.40 Life Begins the Estate. 1.30 Russell Grant': THE HUSTLE Chops 4.00 The Basil Brush Show. 10.30 Primary History: Britain national and international Again. 1.40 FILM- The Wicked Postcards. 1.40 FILM Heart Full of HiFi Club 4.30 Roman Mysteries. 5.00 Blue Since 1948, 10.50 Landmarks: news. Lady (1945). Adventure, starring Rain 119971. Drama, starring Rick RUBY TUESDAY Peter. 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Pakistan and Its People. 11.10 7.00 Emmerdale. Hari employs Margaret Lockwood and James Schroder and Richard Crenna. 3.35 60s, 70s rock n roll, ink Neighbours. Churchill's Bodyguard. 12.00 The extreme measures to keep Mason. 3.30 Countdown, 4.15 five news update. 3.40 FILM: The & alternative 6.00 BBC News and Daily Politics. 12.30 Working 5.00 The New King and Queen of Moonlight Bay Louise on side. Eli and Deal or No Deal The Subculture Weather. Lunch. 1.00 Pod's Mission. 1.15 Debbie concoct a devious Paul O'Grady Show ffewi2t103 s.1. Drama, starring Kristen Bell LOVE THE MACHINE 6.30 Look North; Weather. Pod's Mission. 1.30 Animal Park plan to raise much-needed 6.00 The Simpson_ and Tim Matheson. 5.30 five technc 7.00 Castaway. 2.00 Living in the Sun. 3.00 cash. Cracks appear among 6.30 Hollyoaks. Elliot and 7.30 EastEnders. The feud Though the Keyhole. 3.45 Flog It! the King brothers. Stepp meet a rocket 6.00 Home and Away. Jack is University, Mine THE TUNNEL CLUB between the Beales and 4.30 Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 The wwwity.comiemmerdale scientist who wilt help Them deeply concerned about Chris Martin with incie. the Mitchells steps up a Weakest Lurk 8.00 Midsomer Murders. reach for the stars. Josh has Martha's state of mind. artrock, electro & guitar gear when Ian finds a buck 6.00 Eggheads. Starting John Nettles an awkward encounter Ric's first day in prison sounds plus live bands wail in his back yard. 6.30 Great British Menu. When Dr Alan Delaney is with Amy's father. comes with a shocking 8.00 Holby Blue. DI John 7.00 SuperSlim Me: A killed by a hit and run 7.00 Channel 4 News. Wire irande a Half Men. BEDROCK Keenan has to face facts Mischief Special. Dawn driver, Batnaby realises 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The 6.30 Tdiwsc rock 'n' roll lo jou about his marriage, while Pot ter is on an all that the real target was Seven Sins of England, 7.00 five news. probationer Lucy Slater has consuming mission to see Delaney's senior partner. Dr 8.00 How to Look Good 7.15 Gavin Stamp's Orient gigs a baptism of fire. what it takes to shrink from lames Kirkwood. Naked. Stylist Gok Wan Express. Gavin travels to Cockpit 9.00 CCTV: You are Being her curvy UK size 12 figure 10.00 Nightmare Nannies meets Helen Thompson, Paris where the restored 65 DAYS OF STATIC Watched. With Britain the to the much-touted super Confessions. Thousands whose confidence has Orient Express will take him Faversham most watched nation on skinny Hollywood zero. of households let nannies dropped since having to Austria. REVEREND AND THE earth with more than four 8.00 The Apprentice. the into their homes to care for children. 8.00 Return of the Tribe. MAKERS million surveillance teams' next task is to sell their children - but can they 9.00 Gordon Ramsay's F Documentary series in Dawn French helps which Donal Mar Intyre HiFi Club cameras this show looks British food to French be trusted? Tales of broken Word. THE HEADLINERS into the history of CCTV. people in France. marriages and wrecked Gordon launch Find Me a guides six members oh a 10.00 BBC News; Regional 9.00 Horizon. With the help of homes are revealed. Fanny, his search for a new remote Papua New Packhorse News; Weather. forensic scientists and real- 10.30 IN News; Weather. The female TV cook. Guinean tribe around RECORD DEPARTMENT 10.35 Imagine... Gilbert and tile murder investigations, latest national and 10.00 The Seven Sins of Britain. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Wardrobe George: No Surrender. Horizon explores whether it international news, plus England. Joseph Bulltnan JOEL PURNELL QUARTET An intimate insight into the is possible to commit a national weather Including challenges the belief that Investigation. Grissom is long-standing partnership perfect murder local news programmes. England is in the midst of sent a miniature cnme of British artists Gilbert and 9.50 This World. This 11.00 Real Crime: Nailing the an unprecedented surge of scene in a cardboard box *top tickets programme follows two anti-social behaviour by and attempts to solve a I: 08709 913913 George, including the Nail Bomber. Dramatic web: allve.co.uk/tickets creation of a new people in search of a documentary about the uncovering the nation's murder before it is downloadable artwork miracle at Lourdes, and a police manhunt for David ancient heritage of committed. coming soon to Leeds unique to 'Imagine'. man who claims to have Copeiand, the nail boniber misconduct. 10.00 CSI: Miami. When University..., 11.05 Roy Chubby Brown: evidence suggests that a 11.25 FILM: Unfaithful (2002). experienced one who targeted three London THE MACCABEES' A svornan who bumps into 10.30 Newsnight. minority groups in a series Britain's Rudest series of murders is linked 12 May a book dealer in 11.20 BBC Four on BBC Two. of brutal attacks during Comedian. to organized crime, Horabu Manhattan and begins an First Rites - From the April 1999. 12.05 ParryPoker.cam Poker and the team are led to a FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND' affair is soon suspected by Cradle to the Prom: 12.00 ITV Play. Glittenball. 4.05 Nations Cup. 1.10 Avon pair of film students. 15 May 11.00 Law and Order: Special her husband, who hires a Timeshift. Documentary Reggae and Ska Forever. 5.00 1W Tyres British GT GROOVE ARMADA' private detective to find out which looks at how the hfightscreen. 5.30 1TV Early Championship. 1.35 Velux Victims Unit. A best. 18 May the truth, starring Diane rituals that mark our Morning News. 5 Oceans Ultimate Solo selling singer's son is killed Lane and Richard Gere. milestones in life - baptism, Challenge. 2.05 KOTV in an accident. GOOD CHARLOTTE' 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear. 1.55 the first day at school, the Classics. 3.00 KOTV 3.30 12.00 Arrest and Trial. 12.30 21 M. Sign Zone- Maxwell. 3.25 Sign first drink - are changing in Gumball 3000, 3.55 3 Arrest and Trial. 12.55 NBA Zone: Horizon 4.15 Sign Zone: today's society. Minute Wonder 4.00 Basketball 4.20 Supercross World Hairy Bikers Ride Again. 4.45 Joins 12.20 Joins BBC News 24 2.00 Tudor Times 4.20 Tudor Championship. 5.10 Al Grand B8C News 24. English File: Death of a Salesman. Times. 4.40 Animated Tales Prix. 4.30 The Merchant of Venice. of the World 5.55 Making tmcon 1931

Do you think you could sell advertising for this paper?

If so, are you also organised, approachable and available for part-time work for the 2007/2008 academic year? The main duties and responsibilities of the role include: selling advertising space within the paper and on the Leeds Student newspaper website (including some cold calling); liaising with existing and new clients; and administrating bookings and payment procedures. The candidate will be working within LUU's marketing deparfrnent and will be expected to bring a professional approach to this role.

For more information or on application form please go to: www.Iuuonline/employment and click on current vacancies.

Closing Date: All application forms need to be returned to LUU Reception, in the Union building, by 12:00 noon, Friday 18th May 2007. 40 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

The impressive word play adds movie's difference between Munhattan and the Wednesday title indicates the intellectual nature of this Bronx. between a single working mother Maid in Manhatten Jennifer Lopez hit. Lopez is erotically clad and a millionaire. Oh. and there's some sex May in a maid's outfit working in a hotel where choekcxl in for good measure. Channel 5 this Cinderella story leads her to getting 9th her very on DI I ' Prince Charrnmg. Ralph 9:00p.m. Fromm This is It st...nous expose on class By Maddy McGarne

nor club DOH Baia Beach Club TWO its/ five STUDENT REVOLUTION ONE 4 student night 6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Animal Park, 6.00 CBeebres. Fimbles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Treacle People. 6.10 The 6.00 The Save-Urns! 6.10 Fib and 10.00 Homes under the Hammer. Story Makers, 6,35 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning, 12.30 Boobs. 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 the Flowertots. 6.25 Franny's Feet. Cockpit 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy, CBBC. Arthur. 7.15 ChuckleVision. Loose Women. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Freshly Squeezed. 7.30 Everybody 6.35 Bird Bath. 6.45 Hi'S 2.15 PANIC 11.45 Cash in the Attic 12.15 7.30 Get 100. 8.00 The Story of News; Weather. 2.00 Midsorner Loves Raymond. 8.00 Just Shoot Scary the Racing Car. 7.30 Little 605(ock'n`roll & 7.45 Make Way for garage. new wave. Bargain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News: Tracy Beaker. 8.15 Krypto the Murders. 3.00 For the Rest of Your Me. 8.30 Just Shoot Me. 9.00 Princess. Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Superdog. 8.30 CBeebies: Lite. 4.00 Agatha Chnstie's Poirot. Frasier. 9.30 Take Away My Noddy. 8,00 Say It with Noddy. Discotheque Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Jackanory Junior. 8.45 6.00 Calendar. Takeaway. 10.00 Don't Make Me 8.05 Fifi and the Flowertots. 8.20 F.I.LP. Doctors. 2.35 Murder, She Wrote. Numberjacks. 9.00 Boogie Beebies. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Angry. 10.30 Underdogs. 11.30 Peppa Pig, 8.25 Thomas & Friends. student anthems & r'o'b 3.20 BBC News; Weather; 9.15 Bruin. 9.25 Me Tool 9.45 Weather. The Deadly Knowledge Show 8.40 Old Bear Stories_ 8.50 Mio Elbow Room Regional News. 3.25 CBBC Pitt Something Special. 10.00 Postman 7.00 Emmerdale. 12.00 News at Noon. 12.30 Life Mao, 9.00 The Wright Stuff, 10.30 SOUL SAUCE and Kantrop. 3.50 The Cramp Pat. 10.15 The Roly Mo Show. 7.30 Coronation Street_ Begins Again. 1.30 Channel 4 Trisha Goddard. 11.30 five news. Chico Malo. T-Breaks. Twins, 4.00 Prank Patrol. 4.30 10.30 In Search of Myths and 8.00 The Bill: Blood Money. Racing from Chester. 3.30 12.00 Home and Away. 12.30 Joolz & Mr Q-Burt + true Raven, 5,00 Blue Peter, 5.25 Heroes. 11.30 The Daily Politics. Countdown. 4.15 Deal or No Deal Colin and Justin on the Estate. jazz & soul Guest starring Poola Shah. Newsround. 5.35 Neighbours. 1.00 Garden Invaders. 1.30 A young woman is seen 5.00 The New Paul O'Grady Show. 1.30 Russell Grant's Postcards. Flares 6.00 BBC News and Working Lunch. 2.00 Living in the falling from a walkway A 6.00 The Simpsons, 1.40 FILM: Dying to Belong (1997). THE HUSTLE Weather. Sun. 3.00 Through the Keyhole. man is accused of 6.30 Hollyoaks. Drama, starring Hilary Swank and 6.30 Look North; Weather. 3.45 Flog Itt 4.30 Ready Steady attacking a woman with a 7.00 Channel 4 News_ Mark Paul Gosselaar. 3.25 five Hi19 Club 7.00 Demolition. Cook. 5.15 The Weakest Link. 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The news update. 3.30 FILM: Columbo: MOVEONUP golf club and trying to steal Northern Soul, Tornio 7.30 The Green Green Grass. 6.00 Eggheads. her (or. Seven Sins of England. Strange Bediellov,rs (1995). Crime, Motown. funk 8.00 Watchdog, 6.30 Great British Menu. WWW.itv.comnhebill, Short film in which the starring Peter Falk and George 8.30 Car Wars. 7.00 Jonathan Meades: 9.00 City Lights. Colin (Robson general public are asked to Wendt 5.30 five news. Rios 9.00 The Apprentice. The Abroad Again. Green) and Howie (Mark redefine the seven deadly 6.00 Home and Away. EXIT 2 candidates have a day ID 7.50 Coast: South Coast - 6.30 Two and a Half Men. alter native/cheese Bentonl come face to face sins for modem British buy ten items from a list Alderney. with Sweeney, who society, from binge-drinking 7.00 five news. Univet1ity, Stylus for the least money 8.00 Neneh and Andi Dish it believes they have a stash to mass consumerism. 7.15 Lemur Island. VAUXHALL UK BEATBOX possible. Up. Neneh's brother Eagle of drugs. Hoping to escape, 8.00 Property Ladder., 8.00 How the Other Half CHAMPIONSHIPS 10.00 88C News; Regional Eye Is visiting, so they cook they promise to show him 9.00 Grand Designs. Learns. with Shlomo. TyTe Ori- News; Weather, up some traditional fice Vulgatron the hiding place. 10.00 Desperate Housewives. 9.00 FILM: Maid in 10,35 The National tottery Caribbean food. 10.00 Get a Grip. Ben Elton and 11.05 The World's Most Manhattan (2002). gigs Draws. 8.30 Sweet Baby lames: Alexa Chung discuss Offensive Joke. A RomantiL comedy about a Cockpit 10.40 One Foot in the Grave. 9.00 Natural World. alternative lifestyles and provocative look at those New York single mother 11.10 Match of the Day. 9.50 Secret Fawns of inner growth. who push the boundaries of who, through a case of Metropolitan University 11.55 FILM: Disturbing Yellowstone, 10.30 IN News; Weather. comedy, as commentators, mistaken identity, is thrown Behaviour (1994 10.00 The Apprentice: You're 11.00 Weather from Hell. perpetrators and victims together with a handsome Tongue•in-dieek horror, Fired. Looking at how wind, rain discuss offensive humour millionaire, starring Jennifer 08709 913913 . starring James Marsden and 10.30 Newsnight. and blizzards can turn bad and its place in a politically Lopez and Ralph Fiennes. Katie Holmes. 11.20 BBC Four on BBC Iwo: University, Mine weather into life- correct society. 11.05 Who Is the Real SKETCHES IN TECHNI- 1.15 Sign Zone: The Gardener's Wedding Rites: In threatening events. 12.05 Peep Show. 12.40 Balls of Jennifer Lopez? COLOUR Year 1.45 Sign Zone: My Life as a Sickness and in Health. Including hurricane Steel. 1.25 The Osbournes. 1.50 Documentary about the Child. 2,15 Sign Zone: Natural 12.20 Joins BBC News 24. 2.00 devastation in Grenada, The Osbournes. 2.15 Your Face or singer and actress. University. Refectory World, 3.05 Sign Zone: To Buy or BBC Learning Zone: and homes submerged by Mine? 2.45 Oft Centre, 3.10 Off 12.10 PartyPoker.com European MANIC STREET Not to Buy. 3.35 Joins BBC News Schools: Macbeth Shorts, the Carlisle floods Centre. 3.35 The Bernie Mac Open la. 1.40 Major League E11501Tin.q: 2'l. 4.00 English • The Birth of 12.00 ITV Play: Glinerball, 4.05 Show. 4.00 The Bernie Mac Show. Baseball. 4.45 *IRA Drag Racing. j709 91391, Horror / Shock Horror. The Jeremy Kyle Show. 5.00 ITV 4.25 Wild Things. 5.15 Nigh tscreen. 5.30 ITV Early Countdown. *top tickets Morning News. 1: 08709 913913 web: olive.co.uk/tickets THE RED CHORD' 21 May J Joseph's Well PIGEON DETECTIVES* 27 May @ Town Hall 02 WIRELESS FESTIVAL' 15/16/17 Jun 41 Hcire- wood House allve.ao uk

bow. 1-V:0

Even in the years past the Queen Ds Golden Jubilee, with the Raj long gone, Indian Cuisine still remains our most popular dish.

It is, of course, prepared from predominantly 7 spices and it those very same spices from which this restaurant takes its name. S PZ CES Their cuisine is all prepared freshly using abundance of quality products, so much Tel, 0113 2435758 so, that if Her Majesty fancied a curry Fully Licensed herself, she could do much worse than 203/205 Woodhouse Street • dining her here at the 7 Spices. Leeds • LS6 2NY Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 41 Television

In reaction to the devastating prospect will miss the sheer comedy genius of a Neighbours that Neighbours may be axed From the rooster with nits, the sexual shenanigans Thursday BBC it is time to make the most of this of Boyd in a nurse's min, and not for- BBC1 quality soap. Removal of this much getting the thoughtfulness of Paul May needed spiritual guidance every week removing his fake leg before giving 1:40/5:35p.m. day will surely lead to an increase in some salt to Pepper. lOth ASBOs and teenage pregnancies. We By Harriet Knowles

Dom Boa TWO club ONE itv five Fab Cafe ,00 Breakfast. 9.15 Animal Park. 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Treacle People. 6.10 The 6.00 The Save-lams, 6.10 Fifi and rock & indict 0.00 Homes under the Hammer. Story Makers. 6.35 Balamory, 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 Hook. 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 the Flovvertots. 6.25 Franny's Feet. Flares 1,00 To Buy or Not to BUy. CBBC: Arthur. 7.15 ChuckleVision. Loose Women. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Freshly Sgueeted. 7,30 Everybody 6.35 Bird Bath, 6.45 Hi-5. 7.15 COPACABANA 1.45 Cash in the Attic, 12.15 7.30 Get 100. 8.00 The Story of News: Weather 2.00 Midsomer Loves Raymond. 8.00 Just Shoot Roary the Racing Car, 7.30 Little argain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News: Tracy Beaker. 8,15 Krypto the Murders, 3.00 For the Rest of Your Me. 8.30 Just Shoot Me. 9.00 Princess. 7.45 Make Way for Halo Veather. 1.30 Regional News and Superdog. 8.30 CBeebies: Frasier 9.30 Take Away My Noddy. 8.00 Say It With Noddy. ROCKSTAR Life. 4.00 Agatha Chrishe's Poirot, indite & rock with DJ feather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Jackanory Junior. 8.45 6.00 Calendar. Takeaway. 10.00 Don't Make Me 8.05 Fifi and the Flowertots. 8.20 Chris Martin factors. 2.35 Murder, She Wrote. Numberiacks. 9.00 Boogie Beebies. 6.30 ITV Evening News: Angry. 10.30 Underdogs. 11.30 Peppa Pig. 8.25 Thomas 8 Friends. .20 BBC News; Weather; 9,15 Brum, 9.25 Me Too! 9.45 Weather. The Deadly Knowledge Show. 8.40 Did Bear Stories. 8.50 Mio lub regional News_ 3.25 CBBC: Pitt Something Special. 10.00 Postman 7.00 Emmerdale. 12.00 News at Noon. 12.30 Life Mao. 9.00 The Wright Stuff. 10.30 THHE HH ARARLEM BUSH CLUB live funk, soul & Ind Kantrop. 3.55 Watch My Pat. 10.15 The Rely Ma Show 7.30 Emmerdale Family Begins Again. 1.30 Channel 4 Trisha Goddard. 11.30 five news, hip-hop :hops. 4.10 The Basil Brush Show, 10.30 Look and Read. 10.50 Album. Racing from Chester and 12.00 Home and Away 12.30 1.35 Drnosapien. 5.00 Blue Peter. Music Makers 11.10 English 8.00 The Bill: To Honour and Goodwood 3.30 Countdown. 4.15 Colin and Justin an the Estate. Rehab L25 Newsround. 5.35 Express. 1130 Big Slam Poetry. Obey. Deal or No Deal. 5.00 The New 1.35 Russell Grant's Postcards. COFFY leighbours 11.50 Primary Geography, 12.00 9.00 The Last Detective. Paul O'Grady Show. 1.45 FAN: Al }enninga of r'n'b. garage 1.00 BBC News and The Daily Politics. 12.30 Working While investigating an old 6.00 The 5impsons. Oklahoma 119511, Western, Rios Weather. Lunch. 1.00 Animal Park 1.45 man's murder, DC Davies 6.30 Hollyoaks. starring Dan Duryea and Gale PUNK AS FCUK i.30 Look North; Weather. Living in the Sun. 2.45 Escape to (Peter Davidson) and the 7.00 Channel 4 News. Storm. 3.20 five news update. punk club '.00 Castaway. Danny Wallace the Country. 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 team find a tape of a 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The 3.25 FILM: Cutaway 120001. Seven Sins of England. Action, starring Tom Berenger and Sandinista presents a series in which a Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 The young woman being killed rock, indie. funk. soul group of Brits learn to Weakest Link. in the same house years 8.00 A Place in the Sun Stephen Baldwin 5.30 five news. survive on an island off the 6.00 Eggheads. before. 8.30 A Place in the Sun. 6.00 Home and Away. The Subcu1ture New Zealand coast. Danny 6.30 Great British Menu. 10.30 ITV News; Weather. 4.00 Saddam's Tribe. 6.30 Two and a Half Men. GIGANTIC forces the castaways to 7.00 Wild Wensleydale. 11.00 The Drag Queens. Extraordinary story of 7.00 five news. electro. rock 7.15 How Not to Decorate. reflect on island life. 7.30 The Museum.. Charting life in a Leeds family loyalty, rivalry and Warehouse f.30 EastEnders. 8.00 Hairy Bikers Ride Again. drag cabaret club, Today, betrayal lying behind the 8.00 Ann Maurice: Interior TEQWLLA 1.00 Holby City. 8.30 11's Not Easy Being it's the VIP opening of the fall of 5addam Hussein's Rivalry. student night 1.00 Hustle. Drama series Green. new sister club, but will the regime in 7003. 9.00 House. 9.00 The Catherine Tate 11.05 Hitler: The Comedy 10.00 Shark. US legal drama Wire about a team of can artists. dancers pull it together and FUZZY LOGIC Porn baron Dickie Brennan Show. will it realty be alright an Years. A look at how about a star prosecutor. A with DJ Debstai is keen to own a prize- 9.30 Roman's Empire. the night? Hitler and the Nazis have black girt from Compton is. winning horse and the 10.00 The Graham Norton 11.30 Soccer Night. Andy figured prominently in murdered at a party that gigs gang are willing to oblige, Show. Townsend, Peter Beagrie British humour, providing Stark?s daughter Julie also Brudenell Social material for everyone from attended Club despite knowing nothing 10.30 Newsnight. and special guests discuss AN ALBATROSS about horses. 11.20 Desi DNA. the region's football, Monty Python to Spike 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene 10.00 BBC News; Regional 11.50 FILM: The Legend of preview the weekend's Milligan and Freddie Starr. Investigation. Forensic Cockpit News; Weather. 1900 (1998). Fantasy fixtures and look at the 12.05 The Aristocrats. 1.45 FILM: drama series. Catherine, MR HUDSON F. THE 10,35 Question Time. about an orphaned piano progress of local clubs. Disco Pigs 12001). Drama, starring Warrick and Nick find the LIBRARY 11.35 This Week. virtuoso, born and raised 12.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play. Cillian Murphy and Elaine Cassidy. body of two women at a New Roscoe 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama. aboard a cruise liner. As 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show. 5.00 3.25 Love Me or Leave Me Alone, construction site buried NICK HARPER 12.55 Sign Zone: Victoria's news of his talent spreads ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early 3.40 The Seven Sins of England. under tar. Sara and :mire. 1.55 Sign Zone. Return to to the outside world, a Morning News. 4.40 3 Minute Wonder: City of Catherine have a dispute Rios 4.45 Unreported World. 12.00 Quiz Call. 4.00 Football DEAD TO FALL* .ullingsione Castle. 2.25 Sign famous jazz musician Cranes. for tickels ring: 08709 !one: New Year New You: To Buy comes to hear him play. 5.10 3 Minute Wonder. 5.15 In Argentina. 5.10 Football Argentina 93 Not to Buy. 2.55 Joins BBC starring Tim Roth and Pruitt Your Dreams. 5.25 Countdown. Highlights. Jews 74. Taylor Vince. 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: *toe ct3.105P3iis3 The Animated Canterbury Tales in web: alive.co.uk/tickets Middle English. 4.00 The Animated Epics. DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL• feat .:My Chemical Ro- mance. Linkin Park. Iron Maiden - 8th/9thi 1Oth Jun Castle Donington Race Track OPM• 77 JLAri' Rios la -r alive.co.uk

nom re93

Even in the years past the Queen Ds Golden Jubilee, with the Raj long gone, Indian Cuisine still remains our most popular dish.

It is, of course, prepared from predominantly 7 spices and it those very same spices from which this restaurant takes its name.

SPICES Their cuisine is all prepared freshly using abundance of quality products, so much Tel. 0113 2435758 so, that if Her Majesty fancied a curry Fully Licensed herself, she could do much worse than 203/205 Woodhouse Street • dining her here at the 7 Spices, Leeds • LS6 2NY 42 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 OBSERVATIONS under their armpits. This is of course a delib- summary hinting at the contents of the at one of their computers. As you sell your me on the shoulder and order me to dehuod erate attempt to draw attention to the fact item. The previously mentioned Double unused course books on Ebay spare a myself. So let's get this straight mate: your that some of us are still panicking over the Decker bar would warrant a moment to cast your vote. As you wait for pricee bankrupt me, you never have what thought of exams whilst entertaining aunty, "Crunchtastic", further endorsing this your YouTuhe video to download while- want. I could perfomt the whole of River- the only person taking an interest in your wonderful creation to the hungry away a moment by marking your electronic dance in the time it takes to queue and NOW presence at the wedding. while the test of the consumer. More importantly. it would ballot paper. There really are no more excus- you're telling me that I am to be publicly population spends the day turning into steer them away from such products as es. Voting can be done anywhere in the humiliated on a bad hair illy? It's 10 to mid: crispy lobsters beneath the afternoon sun. fruit. which would receive a "grown in world when,. them is u computer. at any time night. 1 look like shit and you're going to mud- label, to put off any fatly with the of the day or night while voting is open and Tome me to reveal this too all and sundry Maryann Ahead is editing next year sheer audacity to leave the chocolate aisle, it only takes at moment. you evil, evil little man! email her [email protected] But how. 1 hear you ask.. will this new I finally manage to pay for my goods and MaryarnAhroad labelling system ensure the future of The software, custom built for LULL mem- make my way outside- Damn. I forgot cash- human race? Simple. The new system will bers, has been extensively tested to make back. No worries, there's a machine. Alas, x am time is upon us. and as I sit writ- allow those who so wish to truly live their sure it is easy to use, secure and meets the the machine is broken. Indeed, it is perpetu- iny this to- avoid thinking about my lives "to the max" and. with luck, fulfil high standards and requirements of elec- ally broken. It shall remain broken for all Eoursework. 1 am completely con- their dream of having to buy their clothes tions. We think the final product is great and eternity. I stair at the shop in rage contem- fused as to why this particularly gorgeous over the Internet. from special outlets during testing members praised the proto- plating different ways to destroy it and wish time of year has been chosen as the ideal situated in America. Indeed, America is type and enjoyed being guided through the I could capture it with a special unit This time for us to be squeezed together in a hall leading the research into this pioneering process with onscreen instructions and help isn't however Command and Conquer Gen- to take exams. Especially since the increas- treatment, and. if I may be so bold, I feel available to those who needed it. Now it's erals, SO that won't be possible. ingly warm weather has caused us to skip they have cracked the riddle of how to your turn to give it a whirl and sec what you turn as a voice catches my attention. A lectures all semester. support an aging population and solve the think. wretched disabled man, clearly homeless Spring is definitely not the time for pensions crisis. Some great philoSopher. Polling opens at 10.00arn on Tuesday sits on the dirty wet gravel with his hand out- working, in fact it's completely unnatural to Ed Prior with the cares of the human nice firmly in May 8th and wi Il be available in the foyer or stretched. He manages totem& a.requet for expect people to bury themselves under her mind, once said. "Let them eat cake". at any computer terminal anywhere in the some spare change which I give. It could be hooks when nature is calling us to fie down th obesity steadily increasing Isn't it strange how all the best advice is world by logging into a lot worse Hanif. a lot worse. in green pastures. Or maybe lam just recall- and the health of the nation in the old advice? So. please support this new www.luuoneeornivote ing the hymn from the opening metes to the terminal decline, I feel radical move in national health and ae a small Electronic voting is simple. the result is Hanif is stubborn. Vicar of Di hiey? The point is that this action is required. Sometimes I am reward, why not treat yourself with some lasting. weather causes a natural stirring that most of paralysed with fear that my grandchildren little cake or pie. Oh come on, what could us can fed. it makes us energised and met- will be horn with hands morphed to hold possibly go wrong" Damola is swing: are you? lees and not surprisingly. it causes many of burgers and pre-(Denied man-boobs. I am PaidBentley us to fall in love. This is perhaps the reason not the only one literally terrified by this Ed Prior is hungry. why Spring is also known as Asian wedding invasion of muffin-topped monsters. with 'In not superstitious. When cough-rid- season. Believe me. for some this is truly the their memorised lists of takeaway 'den ]don't take a hair Inert my.. head. stutTof nightmares, numbers and five-day cheeseburger put it in a sandwich. reed it to a clog. As if the exams weren't enough to worry hinges. Health is fashionable and the and say. "Eat well you hound. may you be about, imagine all 800 members of your government wants to he seen to encourage sick and I he sound." I take Streptoils. Whilst family arriving on your doorstep. Although those who struggle to Intik after others cross their ringers or clutch their you love them completely, at the sans time themselves. Five a day. thirty minutes lucky underwear during the &lunatic finale you cant help but wish for a few hours to exercise, free stop-stem iting classes and all of an achingly dose game. I hate- my nails. revise in the library for tomorrow's three that jazz. Well, here's a new approach. not leteetuse of some spiritual belief that it'll hour exam. Instead, you find yourself finger Look after yourself: or don't. Far from the Hang Leylooni somehow aid the cause, but through sheer painting with your tiny cousins 10 stop them future of society as we know it reeling on nervousness. I open umbrellas indoors. I from driving their parents insane. the survival of die group of people who . a just me or are the queues- at the Co- skip and pirouette under ladders and scaf- Many people of course do not realise tail to take basic care of their health. .6% he Damola Tirneyan. op obscenely long? There are never folding alike. I don't cry over spilled milk hoe much thought and coon goes into these not has the new appoint:ft on their 1- ewer than ninety one people waiting in and certainly have no foot of rabbit in my wedding,. Them am at least fourteen flam- inevitable demise? ne and a half years ago in the LUtt it long snaking line stretching right back to a nren-bag. boyant parties to attend during the two Conte on, it's not such a radical Review students demanded that we public loo in the centre of Reykjavik. This seems retional. Surely the ridiculous weeks leading up to the wedding, all of concept Let me illustrate this inspired idea Omake voting more accessible by Despite this, all seven tills are also never in obsessions of an individual can't directly which require dressing up in beautiful itchy for you: As the heard or buffalo gallop creating a facility to vote online, Now. at use at the same time. Perhaps this idea is just affect illness_ However, people often let clothes, sweating off your plastemd make- majestically across the Serengeti. it is the long last, the Union is ready to crawl out of too wacky for the. clearly, intellectual pow- these superstitions, and some far weirder up while beating a drum and dancing wheezing fames who are picked off by the the dark ages to embrace modern teelmolo- ere who run the shop. Perhaps it's ;done big ones run their lives. My brother's girlfriend, tpreferably with sticks) while lip-synching waiting lions. But the buffalo, being one g.y into its democracy. A highly devetoped sick joke to them? Maybe they get off quite clearly a had catch, can't see a magpie to classic Bully wood songs. Not to mention step ahead of the human race tor which I piece of sot tware has now been pieced watching us huffing and puffing as we sweat without yelling "good morning George the fact that when you are invited to a wed- profess to be a pail are not upset. Far together laid polished to make voting avail- in the queue. heaving our baskets forward how's your wife and kids?" Na )t 4aih is this ding you must attend out of politenees, upon from it: the buffalo celebrate the absence able online, Na longer will students need to inch by inch. Maybe they watch CCI'V utterly mad hut. quite frankly. an uncouth which culoureetordinating your clothes and of their unfortunate conical riots with a claw their way our of bed and venture into footage of us ay night all tucked up with just invasion of Mr George's privacy. Even the perfectly choreographed group dancing raucous "hurtelo rave" and reminisce of the Union to mark their preferences on the Wine Vaseline and a box of everyday tis- more bizarrely. Argentinean goalkeeper is the least of your worries. the good old days. This joy is inspired by ballot paper. Now any computer anywhere sues. Sergio Goys-tit:Ilea would, happily, in front That's right, apart from the scary end of the fact that, without their tnnre corpulent in the world is your own personal polling £2.09 for ii quiche! You've got to be of thousands of fans, piss on the grass before term exams that we have to worry about, a friends, the herd as a whole can move booth where you can. at your own leisure, kicking joking! Does anyone else feel like penalties_ tot or us British Asians attending friend's raster and become and altogether more consider and complete your ballot paper. they've just been mugged every time they Nonetheless. running late on the morning weddings also have to beware the dreaded efficient group. But fear me you traditionalists for the trusty buy something from this evil. evil Shop? of an exam lava January, frantically furrow- 'aunty.' on the prowl for a eisluati (nuuriage Ranier than the current health warnings pen and paper has not yet fully been con- £2.35 for a lump of cheese the same colour ing around for pens, I slipped. tumbled and partner} for her seven 'javelin (eligible} chil- and nutritional advice offered on signed to history.. as dead skin and probably just as scrump- smashed headfirst into my mirror. which dren. Whilst doing your best to avoid pro- cigarettes. alcohol and certain foods. I This final term will see LLTU christen its tious. £4 yes four quid for a steak pie. Fair iplimered then crashed to the floor. At the /MM.& then the elderly women on behalf of would like to propose the "Pleasure-o- shiny new e-voting system at the Union enough it's a big pie but still, there's no need time, I was indifferent. Unsurprisingly, the their sons. you must also cope with the con- Scale-wee:et peadinge This shall be Council by-election. From May 8th - 10th to take the piss! Everything is 3tee more exam was a nightmare - completely mist- stant sateen of soppy Hindi love songs that visible on all packaging and _shall intbrtn Leeds University students can log onto expensive than it should he and they only do imed the whole thing - utter disaster. Traips- you don't understand blaring through the the potential client of the level of www,lutionlineconevote and cast their vote it because they can. What's ethical about ing out. I couldn't help but wonder about the sound system. The bride's family. who satisfaction that he or she may hope to at the comfort of their own keyboard. that?! broken mirror. I'm not superstitious. Really. But sometimes rate jest shouldn't be tempt- although are extremely happy that they've enjoy Following the eonsumpnon of said Although a traditional polling station will Next moment I'll put down the quiche ed. ft round a 'nice' (rich } doctor for their daughter. item. For example, a Double Decker bar still he as ai table in the Union foyer for those tem:hely. after all it is worth its own weight So. unless you want to end up like me, do not seem to be able to stop blubbering. (quite clearly the king of chocolate bars) SADO want we want to see a frenzy of intemet in Gold. and head over to have a look at the mopping up bits of glass, vainly attempting and the bride herself who so desperately Would receive a rating of nine on the voting from all those who told us electronic hummus. I see a price tag or £1.00 and sigh to convince myself that I'm not superstitious nods to pretend to be sari she spends most "Pleasure-o-Scale"(parent pending); voting was the future. With voting now eas- but not too loudly as I'm now over the shock at al I. I say screw- relying on logic. rationali- of the wedding staring at her toes. narrowly missing out on lull melee due. 10 ier than ever before there really are no of the Co-Op-peculiar hyper inflation. Oh ty and reason. The summer exams are As I put together the guest list for my an absence of more than twenty grairts of excuses for failing to vote, for fuck's sake. they don't have any left! No approaching fast and sometimes you can't bruthees May wedding, I cannot help but saturated fat, a prerequisite for those Visit the Juice Bar and key in your vole lettuce either! So, not only do 1 have to rely on your talents alone, Cross those lin- feel that the exam period is a complete products to he labelled "Super-Dooper- while sipping a smoothie. Delay your course queue long enough to grow a 5 o'clock gers. Touch that wood (walleye Next time inconvenience to the wedding season. Nerds" under the new system. work a few moments longer by logging on shadow and pay rip off peeve but I also have you find yourself nervously striding exam- Meanwhile hack at the University. a For those of you who fed this System to cite your vote in the library. Stop surfing to deal with the rase that there's never any- bound through the green bits of campus, combination of exams and the sunny Spring to be rather harsh. fear not. Alongside the on Feedexik on your laptop for one moment thing I wane Is this rah? No it is nut! don't hesitate, go on: leak on that turf. weather have got to everyone's head causing rating for the product (ranging from one and cast your vote. While checking your Don't worry folks, it gets better! No them to walk emund Hyde Park naked with for say, celery, to ten, for the wonder that society pigeon hole in the ARC resource sooner have I stomped up and down at the Paul has bad luckfur set.,en years. disposable barbecues and beers shoved is deep-Tried haggis) would he a helpful lounge Like an extra minute to east your vote lack of hummus does the security guard, top ?Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 43

• DIARY Cinema Sun: 14:00 Tue: 18:50 turn up to the ceremony with a demos. Therapies will include am- Yorkshire on application. Some stu- Bridge to Terabithia (PG) (1h35) hangover and one of the guests is a matherapy and hot stones massage dent places available on proof of Light Fri, Sat. Sun, Mon, The: 10:00 12:20 blow-up doll. It only gets stranger and even Past Life Regression and status. NraeeThe 14:40 17:05 19:30 21:45 from there. Aura photography. Refreshments Fracture (15) (1h53) New Releases: available all day. Picnic in the Park Hyde Park - Bridge To Terabithia (PG) (1hr55) Fri, Sat. Sun, Mon, Tue: 15:10 17:50 meet at Union steps. 3pm, Free 20:30 23:20 Fri-Mon: 10.00 Daily: 12.30 14.50 6th - 20th May Celebrate the end of term with a Meet the Robinsons (U) (1h42) the workers Mine 13th May relaxing picnic in the park. Bnng 17.10 19.30 Goya's Ghost (15) (2hr15) Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon. The; 10:30 12:50 VisualArts@.... presents the work Start All-Dayer Mixing Tin, 3pm your own food and drink for some Daily: 13.20 16.10 18.50 21.40 Mr. Bean's Holiday (PG) (1h29) of 9 local and talented emerging Featuring bands, DJs, poetry and sunshine recreation. Frisbees and Splderman 3 (12A) (2hr40) Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: 11:10 13:35 16:00 visual artists, musicians, writers ay. games provided! Tue: 12:40 17:40 Fri-Mon: 09.00 09.30 10.15 Daily: and performers. Private view on Next (12A) (1h35) 11.00 12.00 13.00 13.30 14.00 15.15 Sun 6th @ 12pm - 4pm. Enjoy lunch The 2007 National B-boy elimina- Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: 18:30 21:00 23:50 15.3017.00 17.30 19.00 20.00 20.30 with live music and poetry. tions Stylus, 5pm battles start 7pm, The: 11:10 13:35 16:00 18:30 21:00 Road Trip 21.00 22.10 Fri-Sun Lates: 23.15 £5 adv/mbrs or £6 door 23:50 All the greatest crews in the North 23.40 Noddy and the Magical Moon- 7th May of the UK battle it out to represent dust (U) (1h1) Linus Twizzle's Avant-Garden the UK at the world finals. Including 11th &141h June 300 (15) (2111'20) Sun: 10:30 Party 1st Birthday Fay, 3,30pm- 8 on 8 battles - a first for the hosts beachbreak live Polzeath Beach - Fri-Sun Lates: 22.00 Over the Hedge (U) (1h36) 12.30am, £7 FreshJive. Winners will go through North Cornwall, tickets - £65 Alpha Dog (15) (21t.r20) Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, The: 09:50 If you fancy an excursion to kick off Daily: 15.10 18.00 20.50 Fri-Sun Comedy sketches, live music and to the National Final in London on Wild Hogs (12A) (1h39) burlesque dancers on the terrace 14th July. the summer holidays, this could be Gates: 23.50 Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon. Tue: 11:30 16:20 the answer. The UK's first student Blades of Glory (12A) (1hr55) and in the conservatory. 21:15 23:40 festival, this bills itself as a celebra- Fri-Mon: 10.40 Daily: 13.10 15.40 27th May tion of life packed into 3 days. With 18.10 20.40 8th May The Affordable Vintage Fashion the likes of Mr. Scruff and DJ For- The Breed (15) (Ihr50) Hyde Park Picture House Tai Chi Conference Hall - Arc, 5pm Fair Union, 12-6pm, £1.50 mat, there will also be indie films, Fri-Sun Lates: 23.45 - 6pm, £3 With whatsmineisyours.com, the theatre and breaking student tal- Fracture (15) (2hr15) FRI Science Of Sleep (15) (1hr46) Explore the benefits, both physical exclusive designer clothes ent. See beachbreaklive.com for Daily: 15.00 17.40 20.15 18.15 and mental, of this ancient Chinese exchange. more details. Meet The Robinsons (U) (2hr) Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 20,30 practice. It can help teach aware- Fri-Mon: 9.50 Daily; 12.20 SAT Step Up (PG) (lhr 38) 12.00 ness of your own body and help Mr Bean's Holiday (PG) (11u50) The Family Friend (15) ( lhr50) relieve the physical effects of stress Post Exams Fri-Mon: 10.30 Daily: 12.50 16.30 on both body and mind. Staying Around? Next (12A) (1hr55) Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 18.45 Daily: (11.30 Not Sun/Tues/Thurs) Inland Empire (15) (3hr) 21.00 ,13,50 16.20 18.45 21.10 Fri-Sun SUN The Family Friend (15) (1hr50) 9th May 8th June 30th July & 6th Aug laws; 23.30 16.00 Kultur Cine Club: Season Two - How TV Works Screenhouse Pro- Comedy in the Park Kirkstall Reno 911: Miami (15) (1hr40) Inland Empire (15) (3hr) 18.10 Perspectives HiFi, 6-10pm, £6 (f.,5 ductions Ltd - Chapel Allerton Abbey, 7.30pra, £11 Daily: 11,10 Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 21.15 cones) House, 114 Harrogate Road, 1.57 Two nights of stand-up comedy in a Shooter (15) (2hr25) MON Future Shorts (15) (1hr30) A night of world cinema and short 4NY; lOarn-fpm; call for prices beautiful open air setting. Week Fri-Sun hates: 23.00 19.00 films including complimentary A guide to TV production from start one includes Stephen Frost, Josie Sunshine (15) (2hr10) Science Of Sleep (15) (1hr46) 21.00 tapas and film discussion. See to finish. If it's a business you want Lawrence, Andy Smart, Richard Fri-Sun Lates: 23.10 TUE Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 18.15 www.kulturcineclub.co.uk for more to be part of for whatever reason Vranch and Lee Simpson. Week Ta Ra Rum Plan (I 2A) (2hr55) Science Of Sleep (15) (1hr46) 20.30 info. then this session is essential for two will be Madame Galina, Mandy Daily: 11,20 WED The Family Friend (15) you. See screenhouse.co.uk or call Knight, Junior Simpson and Andrew This Is England (18) (2hr5) (1hr50) 16.15 The Vauxhall UK Beatbox Cham- 266 8881for more details. Bird. Bar opens one hour before Fri-Mon: 10.50 Daily: 13.26 16.00 Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 21.15 pionships 2007 Stylus. 10pm - 2am, show. Intervals between acts for 18.40 21.20 Fri-Sun Lates: 23.55 THU Sunshine (15) (1hr47) 18.15 tickets £7 from CATS, Crash and refreshments. Most seating is under Wild Hogs (12A) (2hr) Science Of Sleep (15) (1hr46) 20.30 jumbo 9th June a grandstand canopy, just in case Fri-Mon: 10.45 Daily: 13.15 15.50 Judged by Shlomo and Tyte. You Leeds Mod Weekender Coco - you were worried about any rain. (18.30 Not Tues/Thurs) 21.15 Sub- can also win a brand new Vauxhall next to Mission, 1-5pm Visit comedyinthepark.com for titled: Sun 13.15 Tues: 21.15 Corsa. If you want to enter visit Open decks, stalls, scooter ride-out more info. Revision Break vauxhallbeatboxchamps.co.uk for plus The Lost 45s. details. Eirkst01 4th & 5th May 15th June Alpha Dog (15) (1h56) Fur Coat and No Knickers The 12th & 13th May Single Camera Directing: Inten- Do you have a one off event you Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon: 00:00 Leeds Mind, Body and Spirit Fes- sive One Day Course Screen want include in the 152 diary? Carriageworks - Millennium email details to: hie: 15:00 20:15 00:00 Square, 7.30pm (Sat matinee 2pm), tival Centenary House - 2 mins Yorkshire - Studio 22, 46 The Calls; Blades of Glory (12A) (1h33) [email protected] by £8.50 (£7 cones) from Grand Theatre, 12th: tOam - 9arn-6pm; call 294 4410 for prices Tuesday. Fti, Sat, Mon: 14:00 18:50 This play centres on the wedding of 5pm and 13th: lOarn - 4pm, £2 Discount for members of Pact. Up to Sun: 18:50 Tue: 14:00 Subtitled: Deirdre and Mark - half the guests With stalls, talks, workshops and 70% funding available from Screen EMILY ISRAEL'S...

Dear Diary, and dogs and ice-cream vans playing On a breezeless day. when I lifted efforts. The mood for picnicking sig- Why is no one helping? Why is every- the 118 tune. We settled in the sunni- my cup from its rest on my year's nificantly dampened (many people one sunbathing? Haven't they ever Summer is here; the time fur Magners est. grassiest patch and fired up the dis- notes. a wind blew. Ed and I leapt and were laughing at us). we decided to heard of cancer?' return home. Unfortunately. we were A passer-by tentatively peered into and sun and daisy-chains. It is also posable barbecue. Ed cooked pink chased the scattering papers in horri- in such a hurry, ssc didn't properly the bin. She sniffed before putting out time for exams. Woohoo and Damn! A burgers. For hours we. me in particu- fied desperation. catching only a few. We looked like idiots. The air being extinguish the barbecue's tire. the fire with her honk's water. There Hyde Park revision picnic. I thought, lar. devoured the delicious contents of 'Ed. Ed? Why is the Wollstonecra Ii was a mini-explosion. She missed it. was the answer - the perfect combina- our Momsons bags. Whilst revising. of still again, we split to search for the bin smoking?' Ed and I were standing in the e ay of tion of pain and pleasure. My mum. course. rest of my work. It e as quite traumatic. 1 had to prise essays on Jane Austen 'What? Oh my God! Oh my God! the hang. It gave us red-charcoal faces, however, articulately described the. 'You've got onion in your teeth. from the sticky chests of four fat and Quick. call the police! Pour some activity as, 'like, frivolous or, whatev- Give ore five quotes from Mansfield topless men. I had to pick some preach- water on it!' er. yeah? Don't get burnt. yeah?' I Park.' ings of Mary Wel Homo-aft from a 1 only have alcohol left! That'll Morrie it on Kate Middleton's mother. -Oh look. There's a dog chasing a if reeking bin tit' it were up to me. I'd make it worse! Bloody hell! I've starr- Ever since the woman got pilloried for rabbit. How cute. Well. It won't he have left them there l. And I had to run ed the Great Fire of Leeds! There are exposing her middle-elassness. my the dog eats the rabbit. but 'Oh yeah. How cartoonish. No1k xx eh the dog and rabbit i two animals, trees everywhere! It's 1666 all over mother. eager to banish all her fake and faster than me. heading for a path of again! It'll he on Look North news! unfashionable airs, has morphed from give me rive (litotes: 'In a minute. I'm sun-bathing. my work). Between Ed and 1. we man- The whole of Yorkshire will hate me!' Hyacinth Bucket into Vicky Pollard. aged to recover most of my rear's 'Shut up! You're a babbling idiot! The park was heaving with students Aaarghhhh. my notes!'

44 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007

Only 500 tickets left! Tickets available from wwwleedssummerballicorn, and CATS in the Union building Lotherton Hall, 1st June 6pm - 6am

With a special thanks to all our sponsors: B ILJ ITT N ...ALL THINGS CONSIDERED CORNXCHANGE

MEQQION arts II 0 T L I. r. photography Leeds CD IV%.1union www artsphotography.co.uk A bQaDK HOTEL tun maw or nom mom rorom Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 45

Anyone up for a revolution? Peace. We'd especially like to thank Michael. John good or chums these days. I bet you are Thanks a bundle to in Cr)Otle in the office xxxxxxxx There is no greater music than the music and Maria who have consistently pniduced looking forward to our friendship continu- who made putting the page together not Flind that gets played on a Thursday afternoon in brilliant images and have helped us out last ing in the form of my hysterical phone calls just cv fodder, but actually enjoyable. the office. I never want to hear Peaches ever minute on numerous occasions. Good luck next year?! After all, you are "always on the Thanks to Ben for his constant patience A year has gone by so quickly, it seems again. Or be old enough to listen to Radio 2. to Maria and John for next year! You'll he end of the phone" right?? Gardiner, you with my cyber illiteracy and for being such only five minutes since I was last sitting in Thanks to everyone at Leeds Student for great - and make sure you lim e lots of fun! should get lots of thanks from me because a good sport throughout! Many thanks to front of this computer, with not a clue what making me feel so welcome this year. espe- Pat and Emma x you have been generally awesome and I Vivien and Katie. Our weekly scramble to to do. Pity not much changed really! It's cially Ben. Steve. Alex. Hind. Ky. Rachel look firwattl to continuing our friendship find something. anything original to write been a difficult year at times, and without and James. On the proof-reading front, Working for Leeds Student over the last next year. However, I retract that all becau- about the club scene wasn't too fun at the everyone at LS it would have been so much massive thanks to Ranszy and Jess, who year has been such good fun. I have met se you insist on mining my life with booze time but already I'm looking hack fondly! tougher. I would like to thank firstly Rachel have both been absolute stars and sacrificed some awesome people and had some great in the Old Bar. Emma (Miss photographer To our small yet select group of writers- Hunter. Without her I couldn't have stayed many an hour with the help of Wednesday times. for that alone my thanks go out to of the year!) I love you to bits. can't wait for thank you so much, we really couldn't have sane, and I have truly made an amazing fri- night pizzas and many a cup of coffee. everyone in the office. Thanks to the news more partying next year! Ky. Hind, Patrick. done it without you, literally. them would end, I wish her the best of luck in Oz. and in Good luck to everyone with anything and team Alex. Paul and of course Rachel. I Jess. Chris, you are all fab. Ben. thanks for have just been blank space. life! I would also like to thank all the news everything. Vicky xxx can't believe we started the year without being so encouraging and supportive... and Sophie Barnes mom tegulars, everyone including Hind.(I you Rach. how did we cope?! You have for getting me a job next year! Without you love you Hind, you are a constant inspirati- Both Pat and Emma would like to say a literally held the news team together and I'm sure I would have bottled it! Sot: you all Firstly I would like to thank my friend's on to the whole world and you have taught massive thank-you for all the photographers generally been charming. lovely and brilli- next year! Charlotte xxx mother Mrs Bakir, for giving birth to her rue such a positive font) of mild racism..see who have contributed to the paper this year. ant at your job. Steve. I am glad that we are daughter Mira, she has provided much of you on television) James, Ben, Steve. Ky. the inspiration for my articles with her noto- Laurie. Andrew. Price, Vicky and everyone rious one liners. else (not forgetting Tait. who ditched me I am. alas. very sad to be giving up my halfway through) it's been such a good place as token ethnic/terrorist/Muslim laugh. Lastly I'd like to reserve a special (delete as appmpriatet. Thank you Ben for thankyou for the wonderful Josef for his putting up with me and my leftist rants. regular visits. because without him I might you're made for the BBC...Alex, I don't have lust my mind. Lots and lots of love. know what I'd have done without you pm- Doorey viding endless entertainment whilst wor- king your miracles on news, glad I met you Working for Leeds Student this year has because I know I'll still be catching up with been an amazing experience. mostly becau• you when Leedy Student is nothing but a se I've been able to sit in a room for (at distant memory. Rachel. you're a sweetie. least) two days a week listening to probably I'll still be seeing you next year! Steve. it some of the funniest people at Leeds Uni. would have been fun working with you It's definitely the people who make this job next year stirring up Wine shit like you bearable so a big thank you to everyone. always do, but that's why we love you. especially Paul. Ben, Ky. Vicky. Jess, Lau- James 'grammar Nazi' Gardiner and Phil tie. James, Mark. Steve, Patrick. Charlotte for making up some of the greatest puns and of course the amazing Hind. I'm sure with my name ever and letting an illiterate theft am people I'm missing out... My big- chemist write for you.-.Everyone who gest thank you has to go to Alex - not just wrote for observation and comment we my news sidekick but a fantastic friend. rocked the show and Mark. thanks for your Thanks for everythingi'll miss you when comment illustrations at last notice, you you go to London - stay in touch! Rachel have a talent with art. „pemse it! xxx A new school of thought

Cass is a lirst class Dusuiess sci Qui in one at the world's leading commercial centres. Based In London's financial district. we have a host of MSc programmes that offer a variety of opportunities for you to increase your knowledge, broaden your commercial scope and further your potential. Whether you wish to specialise In Finance, Quantitative Finance. Real Estate, Actuarial Science, Management. Shipping, Energy or Logistics. we'll have an MSc to suit your needs. And thanks to our close ties with business and induStiy experts. you can be sure that our programmes will equip you to swim against the tide of competition and towards success through proven business knowledge,

For more information on one of our regular open evenings, the next Is June 7 2007, visit www.cass.city.ac.uk/leeds and click on 'visit us'. Alternatively call admissions on +44 (0) 20 7040 5122.

IS School SO 111 Cass, Business 46 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 World Cup Fiasco Sporting feature

Ahran Symonds-Baig reviews an unforgettable Cricket World Cup

This year's Cricket World Cup will seemingly rushing to end this the end. There seemed to he a lot of own standards, struggled against any Fletcher rightly left after the be remembered less for the cricket on disappointing tournament. "nothing" games, symptomatic of a half-decent opposition. and their one- tournament had finished, display. although that was itself fairly As it macs, as soon as the heavens world cup which just had too many dimensional howling proved to be far The half-empty stadia spoke for poor, than kg' off-field events. The opened during Sri Lanka's innings, it games of cricket overall. too predictable on flat decks. themselves as the envisaged crowd tournament was overshadowed by the was game over thanks to the Despite these problems, which That. however. doesn't excuse rush from America never arrived with tragic death of Pakistan coach Bob Duckworth-Lewis method. Despite crippled the tournament as an England, who were equally had. It its wads of dollars. The tournament's %minter, whilst the retirement of the Sri Lankans doing well up until occasion, there were some memorable seemed like they were never at the organisers have been roundly Brian Charles Lara and the shambolic that point, D-L meant that they had to moments on the field. Lasith 'the races and didn't look like beating pilloried for the farce that it became. organisation overall were more start to slog to keep up with the run stinger' Malinga's four wickets in anyone. In the end. heating a waning but the tragic death of Sob Wooliner memorable than the action, where rale, ruining their chances. four deliveries against South Africa. West Indies side - who will be glad puts everything else on the there were only a handful of In the end, the umpires offered HerscheIle Gibbs' six sixes in an over they can be remembered by Lara's backburner. Match-fixing syndicates competitive and engrossing games. them the light and it was taken, which la feat not achieved before in one day retirement rather than their dismal have been blamed for his death, but I This sense of a missed opportunity meant they were essentially throwing cricket,. Matthew Hayden and performances - in the last innings think every right thinking person will to put on a great spectacle to boost in the towel. but then they were made Andrew Gilchrist racking up big wasn't enough to validate tactics or agree that cricket. or sport in general, cricket's popularity is best shown in to come out and face three over% scores quickly, and the giant team selection. and coach Duncan is not worth that. the final. The showpiece of two when they shouldn't have had to and. Bermudan. Dwayne Leverock's mouths of cricket was a complete as the trophy was brought onto the diving catch. fiasco. It is clear that the final pitch, the game still played on around Ireland may not have looked like shouldn't he limited to playing it with Sri Lanka trying to bat in the they deserved to beat anyone. and reduced rivers because of light or pitch black. All in all. a complete were only at the party due to scraping conditions if one wants to see two farce to round off an absurd a draw with Zimbabwe, but they over sides playing the cricket that got them tournament. performed and deserve credit. Glenn there in the First place. The Super as was just as McGrath with 26 wickets and Hayden The decision to play only 38 lasers disappointing. No disrespect to were the players of the tournament. per side ruined the final as a Ireland or Bangladesh as they providing the foundations for another spectacle, when it would have surely punched well above their weight. but meamrolling Australian performance. been a far preferable decision to play neutrals would have preferred an in- South Africa were the big the final over two days. thereby form India or Pakistan. neither of underachievers. meant to he number heightening the occasion and nut which seemed to have turned up in one in the world but ruhhish by their 300 Seconds in sport 'Sheffield Steel'

West Flan gale, it's a miracle we sur - years ago they were in the Chanpicrts 1S-that sprat do you think should be vived the jcurrey! I'm also into golf, I League and now they're staring at allied to the olyrrpics? try to play as nut as possible when Cne. They're going to have the .1H- The game that Noel Fielding I'm heck hare, and I love watching greabast stadarn in the Caifetenoe in invented. 41-eze yw have to tun ataxy the Open in the sumer, we're trying the rext fog years! I ctn't rate D311iS firma gist. iatanit, r "I could never to gat tickets this year. Wise as a tanager. He was definatley LS- If you were invisible fear a day be el referee, IS- Who's soar favcurite teen? the wrung choice. I still het iee that what would you do? although I've JH- Shef fis.111 United. I've been a Kevin Blarkgell would have tuned it 31.1- Probably rob a few banks. I got the eye Black since birth, despite half rry fan - ararri if he had m:re tine. wouldn't cka anything penvy, mind. I'm sight for it!" ily at:pa-tang that let at the older sires IS- Wet sports cb yw play? a gentleman. cf the city. 314- Ilove golf. at trifcrtratley I LS- ktuld you ever Ice a referee? LS- Hey, Joe. IS- Yip's yam- favourite player? haven't played yet since awning to JH- %ker. They take too mitt stick 311- Afteurcn. JH- Phil Jagielle. rtin 932n him since teed;. lie ally sports that I've played and I tsculeti't racy the presarre. I've IS- Why did you want to be Sports he was a 19 year-old ids:frit back, in fact at lhi hose been pint lifting arl play- got the eye sclit as it tirut! Ekiitor? I thins that I'm so sad that I even SELJ ing the it-bar if that carts! IS- We is tie bight atter in spat? 311- enjoyed writing him in a flag youth tarn gams back in LS-If you mild interview anyone uto 31-1- Sheffield's an t' it Warnock. I tor the spats pag:s this year; Trtirg the day! It's been arming to see him would you intervie? lase the M511, tit_ he is ciafirelley tie tie dare to edit is firnastic. It'll ]rids grog into the player he is teday I've .314- Jose Niouriniho. He ernes out biggest sitter in frxtball great al try C.V. and newspaper jeur - net him a fog tines aswell, I bet he with sate cracking quotes. I'd also IS- 'Maio jee, all the beat- naiLan is sorething that I want to go thinks I've been stalking him! love to interview Ken >$tas to really 3H- Ivy pleasure, deers. into with try career. IS- Yen dirt a lot of recertz this Ter, taint him tip him, he hates journalists IS- Wet are your favourite sports? are dere any that stick cut? New sports ed ad I raft stand him. LiCe iS also a regular* panal - JH- I'm a mason ticket miller at tea) - 314- 1AP11, I marred the fusty a let this seen this semen The Easkethell LS-Prri an tie fliprrP, if you could he ist cri Final Whistle on tiful cioAn Min &mall Lore, 9D foot - year. It felt like eery Wednesday I was also a decent gage, although a interviewed by artyue, who would it ball is prthably try fa cur sport. was stood in the rain at Inteboccd with irate of mire had to explain what Ions he? Surely Parkinson right? LSRFM.com. I've foliaged Steffield United all ccer are rran ard a etc! I had a swam case going al! 314- I think Perky would he too intense. this salsas, it's tom a bit of al adven- of ce-ja-wars after start: six weeks of IS- Wet do you think abaft the situa- He nearly reduced Ncel GaLlagier to ture every weekend, a favorite nem- that. I did e'ljoy watching the forty tion at Ieeds United2 tears so Geri knows what he do to re. ry has got to he the trip hack up Lon first teen beat Ediniartli in the ap. JH- Well as aBlace I finditHilariast Parky gets ten emotimal. I'd love to Larkin in the beds of the van after the That was pitiably the bast gyre that Hot I do feel sorry for the fans. Six take en Paxman thal4h. Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, May 4, 2007 47 Sport Winners of From bad to worse Good year From back page Another blow to the Leeds faithful is that long-serving full-hack and fan That potential nov, being harnessed favourite Gary Kelly is set to retire at CMOs* elsewhere makes this relegation all the the end of the season. Victorious in the colours more galling for fans of Leeds United, The former Republic of Ireland team event by who have precious little tangible international is the only member of the stVen minutes at reward to show for the years of profli- Champions League vintage left at llte BUSA Archie Sample members, and came second in the universi- gacy under Peter Ridsdale and Elland Road. yet Kelly will hang up his Mountain Bike 41 ty champs thanks to the commitment and O'Leary. boots having not played a single game Championships in talent of Kath Ryhinski. Ridsdale. now chairman of Cardiff since November. with Dennis Wise Scotland h,i.k in March. Men's Hockey - Have turned the club City. is seen by many to be the main clearly deciding that his days were Here is a comprehensive run down of the around this year both on and otT the pitch. culprit, allowing massive sums to he numbered under his management. winners of the colours. Always turning up to meetings. getting lax ished on average-at-best players If thigs get any worse for Leeds, Leeds Celtics American Football Anthony Salmon - Cycling - Entering their results in on time. from organising such as Seth Johnson and Danny Mills. maybe Dennis Wise's days will he The Celtics %sew the University as a novice, over the years. charity events in the Oak to winning the It has been reported that, after numbered, too. regular fixtures in this man has developed at an exponential majority if games and leagues. Men's Cardiff's defeat at Hull, whieh played a 'Good Week'. an rate, from not being featured in the team in Hockey is the most friendly and commit- huge pan in condemning Leeds. Rids- outstanding seas0a his first yearto now being a lynchpin in one ted club in the Union. Debate Team of the dale shared a glass of champagne with front all of Hugh` of the most successful cycling teams in the Year-This team had a 100% record during his opposite number at Hull. further Morgan's side county. contributing to eight BUSA the league season in the BUSA northern rubbing salt into the wounds of Leeds medals over his time at Leeds. tier one league. scoring 314points and only fans and players. Saurav Ghosal - Men's Squash - In this conceding 52. By winning the league. the Scenes such as these are becoming case. facts speak for themselves. BUSA team has qualified for promotion to the all too tamiliar for United as every. champ of 2006. bronze medalist in the BUSA premier-league - something that twist in then tale becomes more rid ital. Women's Squash Asian games and ranked in the world's top women's rugby union has never achieved lous.The final match of the season may Runners up by it ie smallest of margins to Ak 40 at his chosen discipline. Saurav is cer- before. be little more than the start of even fur- Bitmingham at the tainly the most outstanding athlete in LULL. A final mention goes to Dave Evans. ther miseries. BUSA Skydiving - Having only 55 members involved with LUU boat club for over 20 Having to beat Derby County away Championship final, last year, banned from using transport. and . years and having maintained enthusiasm at Pride Park by a cricket score, and after beating with not a trophy to their name. skydiving and dedication throughout He is the only hoping. that Hull manage to lose by an Abdenieen and have improved beyond belief this year. coach in the club; responsible for all crews. equally unlikely margin. should only I / FAlinhureh on the One of the best clubs in the county. let he single-handecily controls the entire club. he regarded as the faintest of forlorn Way. alone the Union, skydiving have over 130 He's done a fantastic job. Gark Kelly retires on a bad note hopes. PHOTO. BBC

Men's Table Tennis Leeds pair Ad.:,,, Rleakle2, and Stephen Denny were ly n uci s Winners and losers 2006/07 of the BUSA doubles championship. aid the team were As the season draws to a close we 5. Tennis player Andy Murray. 2. The Irish Cricket team David Hunt, Politics, 19 runners up in the sent our roving reporter Joe Ribber: 3. Golfer Justin Rose came to life I . Saracens' Glen Jackson, Trophy final. to quiz people on who they think Joe Barnsley. Host of The Final recently: he's beginning to show his 2. Liverpool for getting to the deserve to be awarded; Whistle on LSR.FM, 19 potential. Champions' League filial. I. FI starlet Lewis Hamilton - he has 4. 'Pony Dungy lead Indianapolis colts 3. Peter Crouch. - 1. Sports person of the year injected fresh interest into a sport that to a superhowl win. 4. Neil Warnock. has grown stale over previous seasons 5. David Beckham. 5. David Beckham. 2. Team of the year England Cricket with the domination of Schumacher. 3. Most underrated sports person A poor World C:itp Manager/Coach of the rear 2. The Irish Cricket team - they Damian Boardman, Business Tom Kelly, Criminology. 21 4. where they just never S. Most overrated sports person of the brightened up a dull World Cup and Studies. 19 I. Lewis Hamilton, got going follow eel an showed a great team spirit. 1. Ronald°. 2. Sheffield Stcelers. year embarrassing wiiite- 3. Aston Villa's Gabriel Agbonlahor - 2. Manchester United, 3, NBA player and New Jersey's own wash in the Ashes he's had a fantastic season without 3. Lewis Hamilton - he deserves even Richard Jefferson. Ahran Symonds-Baig, Sports Editor, down under in getting much praise. more praise than he's been getting: he 4. Roy Keane - did fantastically well Leeds Student, 21 December ... Ala! they fired their I. Dimitar 4. Reading Manager Steve Coppell. has potential to he the best driver ever. to brine Sunderland hack to the Tottenham striker longstanding ouch, Duncan Fletcher. Berbatov, but l'nt biased. 5. Andy Murray. 4. Sir Alex Ferguson. Premiership. 2. The Australian Cricket team. 5. David James - he's had a good 5. Frank Lampard - his ego's bigger than his talent at the minute. They've had a fantastic season. Ky Cape!, LSI Associate Editor, 21 season but he's been tar too hyped up Leeds United I. Cristiano Ronaldo. by the press. 3. Fulham midfield dynamo Jimmy Playing to a half- 2. Lancaster City. They finally Joe Adams, Broadcast Journalism, Bullard. He's an all-round sporting empty Elland Road. managed to get a point the other week. Ben Summers, Criminology. 20. 19 genious: he could be a professional staring relegation in 3. Spurs defender Ledley King. I, Freddie Flintoff for his pedalo I. Didier Drogba - he's scored some golfer and he's a pretty decent 4 the face, and now a 4. Steve Coppell. exploits. phenomenal goals this season. fisherman. worries that Frank Lampert!. I saw him against 2. Australian cricket team. 2. Sheffield F.C. - they 're celebrating 4. Austrialian bowline coach Troy 5. administration is Portugal and he was useless. 3. Golfer Ian Nutter. their 150th year this season. Cooley, He coached England when right around the Amicr.:Not good. they won the Ashes in 2005 and has 4. The Aussie cricket coach John 3. Michael Owen. obviously had great success with the Archie Sample. Sports Officer. 21 Buchanan. 4. Steve Coppell. Aussies. I .Lewis Hamilton. 5. England's Michael Vaughan. 5. Andy Murray. Varsity A 15-5 loss to ri% els Leeds Met buck in October overshadowing the victory for the Men's rugby union side. Must do letter nest year. At least's*** more intelligent.

Westwood lames ihrudful quality on gas ys ill came-. ig called of txveels,We ink better facilities I e' re to cornpcL with the N eLf yap". Bad year spo Iswe Crash and burn * Leeds plumb even further depths as relegation looms

By Ahran Symonds-Baig 12 minutes put [hem in the driving seat, Isle scenes as fans swarmed onto the and going into half rime Leeds were out pitch. of the drop zone. rivals Hull drawing a The FA are set to launch an investi- 1 irrelt uowpr 7.11(tAl blank away at high-flying Cardiff. gation as the Leeds fans invaded the However two goals in the space of -15 pitch. which threatened the safety of the .4tame all Leeds United have been all but relegated Lotherton Hall to the Coca-Cola League One, following TTli lutes. scored 230 TIT ICS apart. ensured travelling Ipswich fans and players. their 1 - 1 draw with Ipswich Town last that Leeds ' nightmare fey., years took FA spokesman Murk Hooper said: 01 06 07 week. Ipswich's late equaliser. which another depressing turn. in the first instance its a criminal

-- condemned Leeds to the drop, sparked Windass scored for Hull after 52 min. offence to encroach on the pitch and we

oft a pitch invasion from the home tans, Ines. leaving Leeds one point adrift from will he tiaisine with the police on that

delaying the final whistle. and their funs ' safety, then with only two minutes of matter

torture. for around half an hour. normal time left to play Ipswich's Alan It's too early to say what action the It had all looked so promising for Lee glanced a header past Casper Aniser- FA would find appropriate but it would

Leeds as a Richard Cresswell goal after gren, which lit the tinder for the ineredi- he very unusual for that to he a points deduction."

As Leeds face the prospect of going into administration. and with it an auto-

matic 10 point penalty. Hooper's words

will provide scant consolation.

hornier chairman Gerald Krasner expects that administration will be con- Eth lite firmed ithin the week, anti added: "In

my professional opinion, I'm 90'4 sure

that before next Tuesday Leeds will he

in administration unless a white knight

comes along in the meantime, " There has been further speculation

that the lack of revenue from life in the

Championship will mean that Leeds will

have to vacate Eland Road and move to

the South Leeds Stadium. and that the

club are already in talks with the coun-

cil, a claim which chairman Ken Bates exclusive has denied. black tie hire offer* Administration and a move would be vet more hati'imer blows to Leeds funs.

%silo h ose seen their team plummet from

the dizzy heights of the 20tH Champions final. which they lost to only League semi- BO+ Valencia. 1'01111N ituthodIsi di6rilty0 ro..ovrt David O 'Leary ' s young side were so OuPle ;WINO( iJb close to greatness. and many of the

alumni from that squad are starring in ist VII Ms 0.1*1 Ami tww

the Premiership at the moment: Robbie %yrs b coutwAri tolv Keane. Jonathon Woodgate. Rio Ferdi- ►

nand and others, along with more recent

graduates from their (tuned academy

system. the likes of Liverpool 's Scott Carson and Tottenham 's Aaron Lennon. dItrR-roN scciov-, , Slitadhd031.-c(11, 2ells .-Nri.! „in ht 4, 4:._..rrti.!•i L: • , Continued on page 47 ...ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

0