1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:03 am Page 1

WESSEX SCENE WESSEX

Swessexscene.co.ukC 31st OctoberEN 2001 - ISSUE 749 - PRICELESS E 750th ISSUE SPECTACULAR INITIATION:

An 18 month driving ban with a has banned initiations and drinking INDEFENSIBLE£150 fine, is this the price you want on away games. The Athletics’ to pay after your initiation Union is very worried about what ceremony? Unfortunately for one effect this will have on the individual this WAS the penalty. A reputation of not only the Sport promising Rugby playing Fresher sector of the University but on the with a glittering career ahead of him University as a whole. did not get off to the best start when The Wessex Scene feels that the he was arrested the other week. player is not the only one to blame Following his initiation, the player here. It should probably fall on the drove off in his Mini and crashed it culture of certain sports clubs. For when driving down Stoneham Lane. some reason heavy drinking and Staying with the car he then called undignified behaviour has become the police and, refusing offers of an integral part of sporting activities. lifts home, waited until they arrived. Initiations are not a necessary part of He was duly breathalysed and was sport and nor should they be. The found to be 2.5 times over the limit Wessex Scene is pushing for these with 77mg of alcohol in 100mg practices to be completely removed of breath. from University Sports Clubs. As a result of the occurrence, Tiger, More... “Fraternities” Page 2. Vice President (Athletics’ Union) “Drinking Culture” Page 30

Guess THE ENORMOUS Whats On 750 PAGE ISSUE PARTY

THIS FRIDAY 3 @POUNDSTRETCHER 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:03 am Page 2

WESSEX PAGE 2 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE INITIATION:INDEFENSIBLE INSIDE YOUR WESSEX THIS SCENE ISSUE

JUST as in the case of our military Marie Blake THE WORD O F THEand political dealings, it’s good to FRATfraternity brother said: PACK “It’s the only their new members to walk around THE TIGER know that the ‘special The societies themselves try to keep place in civilised society where you wearing only their underwear! relationship’, which exists the positive image standing, while can in effect wield the power of a Perhaps if those people VARIOUS FROLICS between America and the UK, is the true nature of what goes on is God. That and the free alcohol and orchestrating initiation also present in the education shrouded in mystery. Codes of p**sy”. To many this may sound ceremonies simply kept them to Exclusive system. Yet, as the show of handshakes, passwords and certain great, but being in a fraternity is not what is voluntary and fun there photos military strength is greater in the actions are only a few of the barriers just about women and beer. Some wouldn’t be a problem. All too States, so too are the initiation that prevent non-members from members have seen how “people can often however it goes from ceremonies. Unlike in the UK, infiltrating the societies. Even the be seriously injured or killed”. extreme to extreme as everyone where these ceremonies only really names of the societies are written Although over the decades it has attempts to ‘out-do’ each other. exist in the sporting clubs, US using Greek letters. Initiation though, calmed down somewhat, the This can be negative, as the universities have incorporated them is especially kept secret. Not even the initiation ceremonies for fraternities sporting clubs of universities all much more fully into every closest friends of those who have are said to be a lot worse than for over the UK have found when student’s life in the form of joined fraternities or sororities are sororities. For the boys it can often be some of the best players are put off fraternities and sororities. These are allowed to know what happens. For sexual or violent, just depending on by the nature of the initiation all male or female clubs some, such as in many of the what the fraternity wants to ceremonies. I have heard from a respectively. New students go to sororities, it is simply a matter of encourage in its members. lot of students how these parties where the societies choose putting on a dance or cabaret. Others ceremonies are just light-hearted those who they feel should join. The lock the new members into rooms Yet the idea of fraternities and and foster a sense of unity as the chosen student receives a ‘bid’ from and force them to eat ice cream until sororities is very much a positive whole team has to go through UNION NEWS pg 7 the society and is thus invited into they vomit or to lick peanut butter one. Some members have said how it it.Indeed, no one is denying that. It the fraternity or sorority. Many take from each other’s faces. Many others is “the best time of their lives”. They is just a shame when the emphasis up the invitation as it provides an require that you be on ‘Beeper Duty’, are great for meeting new, like- changes and people are ostracised MESSER immediate social club as well as the which means that any time between minded people and they can help because they fail to do some ‘Coz I got High fact that fraternities and sororities 6pm and 4am, you are required to with career finding after graduation. horrible act. At some universities, SEE PAGE 10 could help you find employment ‘sober drive’ and provide a lift home Even some of the initiation students have people vomit over once leaving university. for your fraternity brothers. All the ceremonies are a lot of fun, as in one their heads or they have to drink a Nevertheless, it is not all positive. If societies are extremely different and where members have to spray glass of another person’s urine. a student wanted to join, he or she are interested in attracting diverse whipped cream over each other and Which I can imagine to be such a would have to perform various tasks people. Where one is interested in then have a huge water fight. And, pleasant feeling. I bet we all just that vary from the absurd to the life cultivating ‘young ladies’ another is No doubt all the men on campus wake up in the morning and fancy WIN! threatening. bound to want the opposite. As one loved it when one sorority asked a good pint. In Competitions BEER WATCH MUCH PLAY ON WARONFATCATS WITH JOEL STOBART CHARTER DAY! Good Night, Sleep Tight UNIVERSITY CONVENIENTLY located just J Powell UNDERINVESTMENT weeks before next summer’s exam day’s takings to charity? Perhaps DON’T LET THE period, a rare opportunity to both transform the Hartley Library into a TOP DEPARTMENT reminisce in our university’s place with spirit – a multi-level BEDBUGS LOSING STUDENTS Durham splendid history yet settle those music arena? Maybe invite the 1st DUE to Southampton pre-exam nerves with a drink or XV props to down ten pints then University’s deplorable lack of ten. Remember this date with show their grace and subtlety on the high speed internet access in Wales pride and alcohol-induced ballroom dance floor? Or finally, London BITE halls, one of the Departments flashbacks: 29 April 2002 marks why not erect an enormous marquee, CONFIRMED reports indicate an feels it has lost students to the fiftieth anniversary since the on the grass outside the union, to outbreak of Bedbugs (Climax universities offering this Soton signing of the University’s Royal provide all the unfortunate Bevois lectulariu) in South Hill Halls of service. Charter, and so a chance to party Valley residents with decent shelter Residence. Students were relentlessly until the early hour. for the day? The Electronics and Computer AROUND THE WORLD apparently relocated into Tw Amsterdam£1.00 Los Angles £1.70 If our wise administrative advisers do However those responsible choose to Science department (ECS) are alternative accomodation Ha Athens £1.20 Madrtid £1.50 surveying their second year decide to finalise 29 April as a non- captivate the essence of our student ho Barbados £1.10 Majorca £1.60 students as to their experiences academic starter, then staff and community, please let 29 April 2002 Bo Barcelona £1.30 Manus £1.00 of internet access in halls, in an students alike can commemorate our be remembered as a landmark for an Budapest £0.80 Miami £1.40 attempt to improve the situation. Calcutta £0.80 Moscow £0.90 unique heritage and give impetus to and a tribute to our glorious past! Let be Dhaka £0.90 New York £2.00 an uncertain future. As an integral the anticipation commence and be All the halls have got most of Frisco £2.50 Oslo £4.00 part of the University’s Golden assured that we can celebrate with the wiring laid for having high Geneva £2.70 Paris £2.00 Jubilee Celebrations that begin in uninhibited vigour! speed internet access. The Hong Kong£4.00 Prague £0.60 January, the fiftieth anniversary will Jo’berg £1.45 Rio £1.45 problem is that neither Business Kabul £2.00* Sarajevo £1.00 be a significant yardstick for what we, Services (the owners of the Lagos £0.55 Sydney £1.40 as a modern force, represent. SCENE Halls) or Computing Services Four fire engines were called and Lisbon £1.50 Tenerife £1.10 And what better way to enhance our are willing to pay the costs of the union evacuated when the London £1.95 *Where available reputation as one of the nation’s the actual internet access. El WESSEX foremost research-led institutions than union became bathed in foul Pr GOT A STORY: CALL CENE This means that students were S NEWSDESK this. Indeed, a day for innovation, a smalling acrid smoke at Surely it’s time for the subjected, and are still being stu few of which I propose here. poundstretcher a week ago. It turns university to cough up the bu 023 80 595230 subjected to the ferocious blood Why not substantially reduce the out that a tampon was smouldering money neccesary to make this ca [email protected] sucking creatures that lay over 200 extortionate prices in the Garden excessively happen before we become a us eggs in their lives, at the rate of 3-4 Court and Piazza restaurants (there is third-rate university. The Wessex Scene Online: per day. http://wessexscene.co.uk a recession looming!) and donate the IT ALL? I 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:03 am Page 3

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 3 as someone once said:

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er SCENE ARE YOU re Two students from a University IMO’S EDITORIAL Halls of Residence were admitted to ar I’m not sure about how I feel es hospital to be treated for Meningitis. having my editorial underneath THE Both students are now recovered n our new PAGE 3. Idoubt anyone and no other students are thought to will read it, so enraptured will WANTED: XMAS n. be affected. they be at the sight of our brave models! FUTURE of h IT ALL? The news over the last couple of e Do YOU have any interesting weeks has been a veritable FAIRIES AND ELVES rollercoaster. Loads of stories but ss stories for “Scene it all?” PAGE 3 BOY? SCENE Are YOU a budding Cindy no way we can print them. Unlike Crawford, Vernon Kay, even e [email protected] “The Sun” we don’t have the Reports of a lone student defecating es funds or the legal team to get us -or- in the corridors at major union events Laura Bailey or just feeling out of trouble. of SCENE remain unconfirmed. Has the resonant extrovert. frequency of a student been found? Be a model for the Elderly grandmother of Union However, the tabloid style PAGE3 GIRL? President, Stephen Edwards, was continues and, I hope you’ll IT ALL? special christmas issue. e stuck on level 2 of the union agree, makes the WessexScene an e building following the lifts damage informative, yet enjoyable read. is An audition and planning session will be held caused by thirteen large people Oh yes, and it’s free! a using the lift in Medication. Laters... on Tuesday 27th November at 12.30pm in the IT ALL? Imo xxx Media Resources Room (above the bar). 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 4

WESSEX PAGE 4 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE WAR ON FAT CATS WESSEX SCENE:

ANTHE air of vexation and confusion MISSING is Daniel Bennett However, LINK John Waugh emphasises TEAMWORK M blowing through the ever- timetable “Romance” project at bus the economic considerations Uni- mounting Uni bus stop queues. stops which has been under testing for link must take into account, “Queues Hundreds of students have finally more than two years will “not have always been an issue at rush lost their patience with the Uni- happen”. hour times which ever city you are link bus service. Many have The demise of an affiliation with First in”. He says, “There must be a handed back their Uni-link bus means there are significantly fewer balance of efficiency and risk that passes SICKENED with the buses and routes that a Uni-link the university is willing to take”. service. Is this atmosphere of cardholder can use. At present there When it is asked why many buses dissatisfaction a result of are only 13 buses in service. The are late, Waugh again shrugs this off, mismanagement or is it simply result has caused disgruntlement using Southampton’s rush hour common bus stop blues and amongst those who rely on buses. traffic as an excuse. Although extra disgruntlement at the realities of With only four services each buses could be put into service in the public transport? weekday, the Southampton to mornings, they would be making an FA Winchester service is inadequate. To incredible loss during the day. When dr It has been all change for the get to Winchester for asked if Uni-link is making a profit, pe university bus service this term anWaugh remains indefinite saying it is Got a Story? de after a dramatic change in too early to tell, but any money la contractual relations with made goes back into the Got an Angle? so previous partner First service. B Bus Company. Just Talk to Us. ha before the start of term Adding to the overcast gloom If you have any comments about Ev Uni-link decided it was the at the halls of residence bus our new tabliod style feel free to hu end of the line for First and stops, is a question over who email us: of they terminated their actually pays for freshers at [email protected] with your comments co relationship. Although Uni- “free” bus passes. Many first al link made up much of the year students expressed surprise so ticket sales they had when told that they had actually paid early Pictured :- Email: ne no control over the one hundred and fifty pounds for lecture a 1.Sports: Christina Cooper [email protected] al quality of the product provided by Southampton based student has to get these “free” passes. This money had 2.Features: Kate Messer Fr First. Uni-link transport manager, been added onto their 3.News: Imogen Hitchcock Come To: a bus at around 7.15am. Once there, A John Waugh, says that passengers accommodation fees. There is no 4.Clubs & Socs: Fiona Cowood the Media Resources however, some students have to miss (s were getting “less and less quality official mechanism for freshers who 5.Crazy Fool: Joel Stobart lectures back at Southampton because Room on the second w from First for the money we were do not wish to have a bus pass to 6.Editor in Chief Peter Wood the next bus out of Winchester is not floor of the West he providing them”. Uni-link had a claim back the money. John Waugh 7.Support: Nick Hampton until 3.15 in the afternoon. A lack of 8.Union: Emma Webster sh “vision that we could do better”. defends this payment: “residents at Building capacity is also an issue. “In the 9.Sports: Susannah Parker Phone Us Sm mornings the queue is so long that halls do not have a menu to choose at This vision is presently not being many people are unable to get on,” from except whether they are catered 02380 595230 w fulfilled. Waugh acknowledges that says first year South Stoneham or non catered”. Surely, though, Not pictured:Acting Editor Phil th they have been very ambitious this resident Chris Weldon who is while one anticipates room cost the WIlliams and the lovely ho Emmanuelle Smith - Edge Editor term and that “the buses are awful”. concerned about not making it to inclusion of £150 for a bus pass is ha & the Edge Team. He also admits that the on screen lectures at the Oceanography Centre. not expected. br le “I am the Tree” ( 2001 T. Tree) in Is it such a crime T To be a 50 year old lime? ab Can you please please please be explain bu Why you want to plant a plane? di Chorus Ju IT would seem that the promised Joe Whittick LEAF IT OUT! I Am The Tree do “TREEDOM” reported in the last Save me! Save me! w issue of the WessexScene is not be. of the all-powerful monster. (a.k.a I Am The Tree st Miss Lime and her compatriots the University) Save me! Save me! ha will soon be for the chop. w In their own defence, the trees have I want more rings around my girth £4 City Council planners have decided produced a single entitled ‘I am the And roots that reach deep in m to remove their temporary Tree’ in the hope that it would save the earth preservation order allowing the them from the chainsaw. Alas, So tell that feller with an axe ri University to cut them down at council officials refused to even Just let me live life to the max ha ro ANY time. hear the song at their planning Chorus meeting despite the presence of Mr So hear me give out this trunk call Th The trees have obtained global fame Trees name on the list of speakers. I want to stand and not to fall ex thanks to the WessexScene report The song is however still in the Go! Put away your big chain saw co and various other media coverage. running for the Christmas number That wants to cut me to the floor of They have been a feature of the one spot despite the LOGistical ap University campus for over 50 problems of a live performance on w years. It has now been decided that Top of the Pops. SCENE th they must go in order to make way The building works were saved w for a new promenade of trees But where will it all end? Are these when, on the greatest blag of his in despite opposition from local five the start of a mass genocide of life, Stephen Edwards successfully co residents and our very own trees on the University campus? argued for a £300,000 increase in B INTREPID Environmental Officer. the funding of the building works w The single ‘I am the Tree’ is by the university, re Unfortunately the voices of reason available from the Crown Inn, ge once again went unheard in the face Highfield. IT ALL? 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 5

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 5 : K MEDICATION EXPERIMENTATION

FACES pale as snow, blood dribbling from the corners of people’s mouths, green-faced demons... yes, the morning after last Saturday’s medication saw ? some truly hideous hangovers. But what a way to get a hangover! ut o Everyone was tragically willing to humiliate themselves in the name K of free booze, and so smearing copious quantities of red hair dye all over my face and shirt - something else paid dearly for the next morning - I was ready to leave UK along with Dracula and That Bloke From Scream(tm).

s After paying my £4 to get in (saving one hundred entire pence Your medication, Sir... with my Medication card), I Chloe: Cheaper entry and headed straight for the free Vodbull cheaper drinks with more offers. The union should shots. They were served in “rad” have more theme nights. Smirnoff shot glasses but my Medication was Ok, but the attempt to add one to my collection first one was better. was met by a slapped wrist from the shot-ladies. I let this pass, Dave: It was quite good, but however, after looking at the girl it wasn’t worth £5 to get in. handing the shots out - if Cream brought nothing else to SUSU, at Jon: Medication was good, least they’d brought some but they need to have more inspirational cleavage with them. lighting effects. Sticking to e) the room style, i.e. The one thing that amazes me Rob Barbour alternative would help too. about the Union is its ability to Another bar near the alt se become a completely different member of the Glen Eyre J-Block room perhaps? building at night, but I eventually Massif, I don’t know the meaning of ? discovered the Indie Nation room. the word “elevator”, but, deciding Joe - It was ok. I don’t think Just as last time, all that had been on a change of scenery, I headed up the union has the facilities to done to create any kind of mood to the “cheese” room, with the do it any better. second bar. Deciding that the was that black paper had been James: It was brilliant! And stuck to the walls and the lights presence of a video camera on the the cheese room was the 6/7 EAST had been switched off. The DJs dance floor rendered the floor a no- best. rth were fine, but when we’re paying go zone, I proceeded to the bar. STREET in £4-£5 to get in, I expected a little Watching people chat each other up, Sarah: It was really good Close to Brannigans more effort to be honest. A lighting blissfully unaware that the entire bar for a union night, but I rig or something like that would is watching both their bad dancing wouldn’t think much of it if have made all the difference to the and the hasty retreat of their victim, it’d been in a real club. 127F ABOVE room. was highly entertaining. Well done to whoever had this idea! BAR STREET all The prices at the Union are never Beside The Square extortionate, but again with it The music was cool in a strictly costing to get in, some more drinks PEOPLE FOUND SETTING w cheesy way, and everyone was offers would have been or having a great time. I headed back to appreciated. The themed cocktails the alternative room to find that at were a great idea, although more OFF THE FIRE ALARM around half midnight it became the than one Wild Green Hairy Liquid Dr. Dre Room, so I left the bitch- ved would almost certainly lead to an ALWAYS OPEN LATE cappin’ mofo gang, as the room WHEN NO FIRE RISK IS his interesting spectrum of vomit- slowly emptied out. ully colour the next morning. FEED A FRIEND FOR FREE! in APPARENT WILL BE Buy any Footlong and A Large Drink and Get

rks Back to the alternative room, All in all, a great night, hampered by

where the music was being a few technical mishaps, but then if Another Footlong of Equal or Lesser Value FREE! repetitively faded due to people you get drunk enough everything PROSECUTED. Your Friend Must Accompany You. One voucher per person. ✄ getting stuck in lifts. Being a ceases to matter... 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 6

WESSEX PAGE 6 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE

The Only Horoscope for Students worth reading... 31 October to 21 November

OUR HANDY DESTINY TIPS: Don’t fall over in the street. People WILL point and laugh. Blow your nose, don’t sniff. STUDENT SLUT SHOCK It’s just annoying. The Worlds Number 1 Mature Student Agony Aunt know what pressure our peers can my hair bright red. I had to place us under. However, try not to bleach it twice first. The thing is, Aries give in to their wishes, cut your own it’s gone GINGER. What do I do? You have been acting childishly and selfishly over the last couple style, they’ll respect you for your I haven’t been out of the house for of months. Stop it now. Get some perspective or a large jellyfish individualism. Alternatively, do as over a week, it shows no sign of will sting your delicate bits. Dump the “partner”...you know you they do: loose the Timberlands, get getting any better. should. Destiny says stay out of the water. some grubby old clothes and change Joel your name to something a bit...... shorter. Dear Joel, Taurus Beryl Nasty! Get a hat perhaps? Or a hair You didn’t pay attention to your last horoscope did you? Yes, and cut? Or come out as a GINGER. now you have hurt yourself. All is not lost. That filing cabinet you Dear Beryl, Dear Beryl, Everyone loves them really. were looking at is a sign. Single? U should be. I’m a fresher doing biology. At I’m a 24 year old post-grad. My Beryl first I was really shy and never early education was at a large went out, but now I’m out boys boarding school and I never Dear Beryl, Gemini drinking every night. I’m having had a great deal of interest in I’m worried I might get toxic You are wonderful and everyone loves you. Let’s hope it stays that problems concentrating in girls. Since coming to University I shock syndrome, I’ve lost a way. Maybe you should get a pet? lectures and getting my work find myself saying ‘yes’ to every tampon, and it’s been lost for Your future relationship lies within a Peter Andre song. r done. I don’t want to stop going girl that wants to sleep with me, three days now. I’m so out but I don’t want to fail either. even if I don’t find them embarrassed I just don’t know Aft Help! attractive. I have now slept with who to turn to. Cancer lea Terry over 1500 girls. Is this good or Louise When looking for a lost bit of paper you will find the answer to Ste bad? all your problems. Yes, x does = 67. of Dear Terry, Mike B Dear Louise, A dangerous liason could have cruel intentions. soc You certainly won’t want to slow Lost it you say? What did it look “ter down on the social, after all you’re Dear Mike B, like? Where did you leave it? No, wit at university now. The solution that Leo Well I find no surprise that after all really, it’s not really that usi always worked best for me is to A set of cosmic twins will leap into your life. Start leaping those years of sticky biscuit with the embarrassing love. It can happen to pos sleep in lectures. After all they take around with them and lots of fun will ensue. Be sure to wear a good boys you want to experiment with a anyone. Pop round to the doctors, Wa up a considerable amount of your bra/jockstrap. Money can be found in the bank. few females. A FEW!!!!!!!! You do they’ll get a torch out and track the as valuable time. If anyone questions yourself no favours by sleeping little bullet headed bastard down. (Co this policy, tell them you rely on around. Nice girls won’t like it and Beryl Un subliminal learning. Save writing Virgo you may find it difficult to develop hou notes for next year. You’re not a virgin and everyone knows it. Check the web for a serious relationship. 1500 though? alw Beryl Dear Beryl, more inspirational positions. You never know who you might find. Smells like a bit of a porky. I have been asked to do a nude A dream date will turn into a nightmare. the Anything over 50 should give you off Dear Beryl, photo shoot for the Wessex Scene something to tell the grandchildren page 3. I am very nervous about maj It’s getting worse, itching all the about, you want to hear mine talk this, I am not good looking and time, really sore, bright red. Libra about the good old days. don’t want to go down in history The People are starting to notice!!!! Walking into a lamp post could be the start of a wonderful Beryl as “that ugly naked guy”. relationship. Lamp posts are renowned for their romantic abilities. pla What should I do. Phil W Keep away from all post offices. the Wideboy Tony again..... Dear Beryl, an If d is the number you first think Dear Phil W, ove Dear Wideboy Tony, of, what is y? HA HA HA. Get yer kit off for the Scorpio vot If you will stick it here, there and y = 12+ (a+lk) - d RST dv girls. You are feeling your age, and to be quite honest, you look it too. tho everywhere then you have to pay 600% * jdx Beryl Never mind eh? Passion planet Pluto is in your sphere. Look one the price. Alternatively get yourself forward to warm nights by the radiator. Look for an earring. John opp down to the clinic before you me scratch it right off. Dear Beryl, Dear John, This may not seem like a problem Sagittarius Phi Beryl loll 7. Obviously. but I think that everyone is in love You’re feeling slightly hungover but don’t worry. The feeling, like but Beryl with me. Girls throughout the time and your love life, will pass. You will become newly single. Dear Beryl, to University swoon in my presence Or, if you are single, you will remain so. Sorry! All of my flatmates smoke a lot of sub Dear Beryl, and fall at my feet. What shall I Nurofen works wonders for your mental health. weed, it’s not really my cup of tea I split up with my boyfriend in the do? so I feel really isolated from them. summer and now he has Tom M The They treat me like I’m the funny Capricorn developed some freakish, psycho lips one just because I only smoke You are feeling horny and goat like. Not surprising really is it? tendencies. These include sending Dear Tom, Ste Moroccan skunk, and I have to You need to get out more. Do less work. Don’t worry about me flowers with no heads on, Oooh Tom, I can’t believe you’ve one use a monogrammed gold plated lectures, all will be alright. Promise. empty boxes of chocolates and written to me at long last. I’ve aca cigarette holder. They claim I’m Don’t take all advice at face value. cards with no writing in. He also waited an age for this day. Ooh Tom the spoilt, that mummy would go mad rings up but doesn’t say anything. we love you Tom. Sce if she knew what I spent her Fiona Deal with it Aquarius off money on. I just want to be Beryl The current situation at your local hairdressers is all your fault. alle friends with all these chaps, how Dear Fiona, You have to own up to your responsibilities and stop acting like a “M can I get through to them. Count yourself lucky. I don’t get P.S You know where I live, you’re fool. Go crawling on your hands and knees round Southampton as Lawrence William Fitzgerrald- sent f**k all, and last time I got a welcome anytime for a cup of punishment. Beware of small dogs and parklands. Me Heskith call from a fella, it was a wrong coffee. Just bring the cream. (nudge Un number. nudge wink wink) dom Dear Lawrence William Fitzgerald- Beryl Pisces & Heskith, A coffee shop means hot romance for you. Go to one every day bui Once in the playground I was forced Dear Beryl, Email your problems to for the next week and you will find your true love. Keep away me to smoke a large cigar belonging to from expressos though. They will only keep you awake. rum For Halloween I decided to dye [email protected] a sixth former called Tricia. I too A certain bush may hold your destiny. wit 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 7

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 7 r ... UNION IN er

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Comms. Will Pete step into the uple breach in more ways than one?! fish Will the next Page 3 see Holmes as you the girl romping in the Woods...?!

The past few weeks have seen Prime Minister Edwards [surely “Blair”? - ed.] engaged in hectic THE ONLY and “shuttle diplomacy”. The First you Secretary had planned a “whistle- stop tour” of the satellite sites. On leaving the security of his Estates President’s and Management-proof bunker for the first time in nearly six months, that resolve Mr Edwards’ glasses steamed up ONE FOR and he was unable to find the West remains firm. Building. For fear of litigation it must be emphasized that the Armani After many weeks of conflict, the glasses, selected for him by the leader of the free world, Chairman Senator for Highfield, First Lady to Stephen Edwards, remains assured Emily Johnston, were NOT really paid for from the AU budget surplus THE JOB of his victory in the war on socialists [shouldn’t that read at all. “terrorists”? - ed.] Last week, in line with the United Nations policy of The war on terrorism seems to be PETE WOOD 285 using political means wherever going well, and the President ood possible, Niaomh “Evil Knievel” remains protected by his elite body IN the most gripping one horse Walsh was ousted from her position guard, the Porter-listas, but for how race since the last General as Vice President long.....? Election, Pete Huw David Wood (Communications). The meeting of held off a strong challenge from Union council lasted four and a half EDITORIAL RON to become the new VP r hours and the woman who was Events in the Union certainly have Comms. RON has been a student find. always “ just a heartbeat away from been busy since last edition of the all over the country since student the Presidency” was removed from Wessex Scene, with the recall and elections began. office by more than two thirds resulting sacking of the former VP majority. Comms and the resulting bye- However, RON was once again left election the members of the exec in tears as the former Wessex Scene The question is who will take her and many members of Union editor romped home. Pete has ties. place? Pete Wood, former editor of Council have been very busy. admitted that he did lose some votes the Wessex scene was elected with Through this section we hope to because of his facial hair that made an enormous 285 votes. The keep you more informedabout what him look like a dishevelled vagrant overwhelming turn out cast just 63 is going on in the Union, including but since his election he has votes for the stalking horse “Ron”, the plans and developments, all of reformed his image and had a trim EDITORIAL too. thought by many to be a puppet of which will affect you. If you have and a shave. one of Stephen’s main business any questions or comments about opponents, Rodriguez bin Mallet. A what is going on with the RON was unavailable for comment member of the Socialist Students, developments or any other Union but rumour has it that he is planning Phil Pope was seen handing out matters email me; to run for several positions in the lollipops to unsuspecting first years, like [email protected]. SUSU elections this Easter. Despite but as yet no allegations of attempts gle. Love this strong willed determination to buy the electorate have been early indications show that he has substantiated. Emma x little chance of making an P.S Just to let you know if you impression and will probably be left The question now on everyone’s didn’t know already, the NUS bloodied and beaten again. lips is “ How long will it take for Regional Rally (Invest in Grants t? Stephen to get fed up with this Not Fees) is taking place in A spokesman for RON has said that one?” The question is largely Southampton on 22nd November, he may target Southampton Institute academic, as the rumour amongst the march and rally start at in their elections as they may not the labour rebels is that the Wessex Hoglands Park next to the grasp the fact that he is not a real Scene is to be absorbed into the Institue from 2.30pm person. Pete Wood: When he was last clean shaven office of the President. It is, lt. allegedly, to be renamed the ke a “Ministry of Information”. EVENTS IN THE UNION n as As mentioned in the last edition of harmony with anyone in the second year you may never see and finally ... Meanwhile, other members of the the Wessex Scene a motion to recall Union. the sports centre in is full glory Union are plotting global the then VP Comms Nioamh Walsh. In other events, a student has put (but you will have already paid the new addition to the Wessex domination too. Kate Holmes (Ed. Union Council (29/10) voted with a 9 month hold on the sports for it by your sportfit cards - Scene - PAGE 3 ... & Welfare), who is not averse to more than a two thirds majority to centre after reporting badgers another case of FAT CATs)? but who didn’t do it? ( Haden & ay building, uh, relations with fellow remove her from office. There were were living in there. The sports Anna (of the Haden and Anna y members of Union Council, is numerous reasons why the motion centre was due to be In other news toilets are flooding breakfast show), Phil Williams) rumoured to be acquainting herself was passed, the fundamental one completeted in 2003 but it now every week at poundstretcher, with Tim Rowlandson, acting VP being her failure to work in means that if your are in the stop it Tiger!!! ENOUGH SAID 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 8

WESSEX PAGE 8 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE

WITH a 3 story glass-wall, funds earlier this month when the Images courtesy of Perkin Ogden Architects the Union being refurbished. Union Cinema,STATE 2 new bars and Nightclub, electrical work came OF in £300,000 THE UNIONVice-President (Communications) the union is overseeing what over budget. Stephen Edwards said ‘The outcome will be better promises to be the most radical (Union President), managed to facilities and new services, making it change in union history following acquire the additional funding easier to access the building and its conception. However the best necessary from the university. enabling it to cater more effectively thing about the new plans in my for students’. opinion, said union secretary Phil The £5.1 million pound question, A new outdoor courtyard area will Williams, is how accessible it will according to a union source is, "will also be created in what is currently all be. A staircase, without the refurbishments be completed on ‘dead space’ in the middle of the frustrating twists and turns, will time?". - rumours abound that they building. ‘It seems as if the building’s lead you past the coffee bar, the won’t . The building works are original architects had a grand cinema, night club and onward too currently around 6 weeks late, taking scheme for a further development the new bar. up the entire margin of safety built phase,’ said John. ‘What is now being ‘The whole point is to try and into the planning period). We hope proposed will enable the space in the improve the circulation around the they will and clearly they must, since Union to be rationalized.’ building,’ said John Bulford of the the extra revenues are a critical University’s Estates and Buildings. source of finance for the project. Like the changes to the Union? email [email protected] Work on the building, which is now ‘It’s always been a building that 36 years old, began this summer and people get lost in very easily… This Work has already started on the fire door on level 1 by the stream. to continue in stages until its [the improvements] will allow refurbishment of the Highfield Union 6. Internally the debating chamber completion in 2002. The building people to see right through the building: will be isolated and stripped out. will continue to function throughout building [from top to bottom]’. 1. The climbing wall will no longer be 7. The judo room is inaccessible (as of the construction period, although available (closed as of 11th November) 14 November). parts of it will be out of action. Since The Union Bar and Coffee Bar have 2. Access to the service courtyard will From now until September 2002 the the Sports Hall and the Ballroom been refurbished in a "funky modern" be closed. majority of the work will be carried out provide important accommodation style (a lot like IKEA). However, all 3. Excavations for pile-driving will externally on level 2 and level 1. during exam periods, the contractors this will apparently be foreshadowed commence in the corner of the sports The continuing redevelopment will will stop work during those times. by more radical changes which have hall and debating chamber (external). require the contractor to take possession just started albeit slightly later than 4. A footpath will be created on the of levels 3 and 4 on 22 June 2002 with a The construction of a new sport planned. Although these right-hand side of the service road provisional completion date of 8 complex is also scheduled to begin refurbishments were not to coming down into the service September 2002. Therefore SAIC and this year, with completion expected everyone’s taste, the unions Vice- courtyard for site pedestrian access reception will move to building 40. at the end of 2003(put several months President Communications said, " I The first stage of the building work and fire escape. Anyone wishing to gain access to the behind due to the discovery of newts, am certain that we can make them will see the conversion of the 5. Internal partitions will be erected on service courtyard must seek permission badgers and voles. The new complex, [cinema, night club, and bars] into debating chamber into a cinema and level 2 in the foyer area by the from the project manager of Barnes & which will include a swimming pool, debating chamber. There will be no Elliott as this will be a restricted area. really pleasant spaces to be". multi-purpose events venue with two sports hall and gym, will be located access into the building from level 2. There will be limited access to the bars. A new eating/drinking area will south of the Union building on The alternative route will be via the loading bay for deliveries etc.

The union had to seek additional be created, with many other parts of University Road. Simon Blazquez Simon 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 9

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 9

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WESSEX PAGE 10 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE

EDITORIAL FEATURES EDITOR: Kate Messer ‘COZ I GOT HIGH’ I THIS issue of WSX contains contradictory articles on drugs. On the one hand we condone the decriminalisation of cannabis but ‘Reclassification of cannabis is ‘H on the other tell of the perilous consequences of alcohol abuse. Both are classified as drugs. But in my eyes all drug abuse taken to the extreme carries a danger for the individual. These dangers a step in the right direction’. especially apply to those who suffer from addictive personalities. Lo The key seems to be moderation not extreme and I feel that both these articles carry this message. CL the

Following on from this theme is “Devil’s Advocate” - ‘Do Student’s You Deserve Their Stereotypical Reputation?’ Again, it seems to be the hou extreme minority which attracts the majority of the attention. bag a fa In this issue there are eleven-student writers, which is a huge increase hol end and makes WSX a diverse and vital instrument in raising and lan discussing important issues. all gre Keep them coming, pre [email protected] Fin Sw into Keep Warm, till peo the next issue! hou into twe are in y Simon Blazquez Simon you nei bee the

Dan Nathan akin to that in the Netherlands. In Conversely over the next few years THE effects of the reclassification which, cannabis is sold in a there will remain a significant of cannabis are unlimited. Soon we controlled environment and thus proportion of the populous that wish may have cannabis being sold reduces the chances of users coming to return to a more stringent anti legally in ‘coffee shops’, ecstasy in to contact with hard drugs. drugs policy. Although the move testing kits in clubs and a drug towards liberalization of drugs laws tourism culture, like in The Dutch experience is a fairly has generated less opposition than Amsterdam. The police should have good model to follow. Its current was probably expected, those against more time to tackle serious crime drug laws started off with minor have still made their voices heard. and we might end up with a civilised liberalization followed in 1976 by The Tories remain opposed to the drugs policy, you never know. the decriminalisation of the drug. move, after all cannabis remains a The result of the change in the law ‘gateway drug’! Iain Duncan Smith In truth not much is likely to happen has not resulted in the moral decline has stated his opposition for in the near future from this ‘back of society but a smaller proportion of reforming the drug laws, an opinion E door’ decriminalisation. Cannabis cannabis users than in Britain. There that he came to after deliberating will remain, for the foreseeable has also been a significant drop in carefully on the one case that he has future, illegal. Possession will no the number of heroin addicts and an personal experience of; a young man longer be an arrestable offence but increase in their average age. By the whose life was severely damaged by this doesn’t mean you can’t be mid 1980’s in Amsterdam there were smoking too much cannabis. I don’t F prosecuted for having it. The change an estimated 10,000 addicts. Now doubt this case but it is not the norm in the law is going to be a small one there are around 5,500. This decline and it is not a sound basis for Dr (it hasn’t happened yet and probably is a result not so much of public generating a coherent drugs policy. won’t until next spring) but it does policy on cannabis, but on drugs as a TH show a significant change in this whole. Heroin is still very much The drugs laws are unlikely to be cam government’s drug policy. The illegal, but in Holland they treat reformed further in the near future hea question is, will they take it further addicts in a civilised and pragmatic because those who are against it are of s or are they just trying to appease the way. The Dutch experience works too powerful. For further reform to oth imp youth generation and liberals whilst against ‘gateway’ theories of occur, liberal values need to loc not aggravating the Conservatives? cannabis that claim the use of the proliferate throughout society which drug inherently leads to the use of means either a decline in ignorance Lif For those who have been harder drugs. where drugs are concerned or those but campaigning for a change in the law, who are ignorant to start dying out. doc the reclassification of the drug has Reclassification in Britain has been The chances are that the government see been hailed as a step in the right greeted as a step in the right is not going to change the law any mis direction. Their main aim has been to direction. But the campaign for more than they have already her break the presupposed link between further liberalization of the drug laws indicated, this way they’re keeping we cannabis and harder drugs. The goal will remain as long as there is the as many people happy as possible- fee of campaigners is a system more belief that they are inefficient. typically ‘new’ Labour! can 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 11

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 11 H’ I know what you did last summer...Mr S! s ‘Home Sweet Home. But when you walk into the house you realise that the people inside are not your housemates. Far from it. Crammed into the eight bedrooms are over twenty Polish asylum seekers’.

Louise Emma Clarke months - those same three months there’s another group of students as you walk into the Union building SAIC or the Accomodation Office that the eight of you had each been that have to deal with a situation by the Porter’s office. The staff are BEFORE signing it CLOSE your eyes and imagine paying £50 a week. And the that they really don’t deserve to be very friendly and are always keen to the scenario.... decorating? What decorating? put in. help you out. There are also big * Put in writing (and keep a piles of leaflets to pick up that copy) of any requests for You are arriving at your new student Ok, open your eyes. No, it wasn’t a Assuming that you’re luckier than clearly detail our rights as tenants. It repairs or furniture house with your parents and nightmare. This happened to me last we’ve been, it’s still likely that you should always be your first port of baggage in tow. You have dreams of summer. At first I was shocked, will have a problem with your call if you experience house horrors * Get written confirmation a fantastic year ahead - your house appalled, totally at a loss for what to student house at some point in the - from huge dilemmas to volatile from the landlord of any holds endless possibilities. It’s the do. My housemates hadn’t arrived future. It may just be a leaking heating and toilets. promises to carry out repairs, end of the holidays and your back yet, so I gathered together shower or temperamental heating provide furniture etc landlord has been busy decorating some friends and asked their advice. system - but as tenants we still have Not all landlords, of course, are all summer. It’s really going to be That’s when the realisation kicked rights and it’s important that we are dodgy. There are plenty that are DON’T great. You walk up to the door, your in and I got angry.I had grown up all aware of them. Some landlords, totally honest - it’s just a matter of precious key turns in the lock. believing that people like this - naming no names Mr S, will take finding them! The Accomodation * Hand over money without Finally you’ve arrived. Home crooks like this - only existed in the advantage of students until they’re Office operates a system where you getting receipts Sweet Home. But when you walk unlit alleys of BBC Watchdog. purple in the face. can go and check your new into the house you realise that the When it happened to me, I was landlord’s name before signing any * Be rushed into making a people inside are not your thrust headfirst into having a huge There are certain things that your contracts. Hopefully most of the bad decision. housemates. Far from it. Crammed responsibility that I had never asked landlord is OBLIGATED, under the guys have been blacklisted and you into the eight bedrooms are over for. And that made me furious. Landlord and Tenant Act 1985, to can avoid becoming their victims by * Agree to move into a property twenty Polish asylum seekers. They repair if damaged. These are; the one quick trip to the Union building. in a poor state of repair are sleeping in your beds, washing I knew this was against the law and structure and outside of the Don’t totally trust the housing in your shower and bath, cooking in was advised to tell my landlord, property; water, gas, electricity and agencies that operate around * Trust just anyone! Simon Blazquez Simon your kitchen. Worse still, the who I will name as Mr S, that we drainage installations; and heating Portswood - we found our landlord Check their names first. neighbours tell you that they have would press him with legal action and hot water systems. Put your through that system and they are been doing so at the total consent of unless he moved them out of our request down in writing and keep refusing to blacklist Mr S despite You can pick up a copy of the the landlord for the last three house immediately. The threat hold of a copy. If the repairs are not everything he has put us through. Survival Guide to Housing at the worked and they were out within a done in a reasonable time, or not Make the office an absolute priority SAIC few hours. But then there was the done properly, it is worth contacting - it’s worth waiting a little longer whole issue of the rent we had been the council - who can investigate than signing yourself into, well, a paying him - and the fact that our the matter and put pressure on your real-life nightmare. Don’t let it house was almost unhabitable. We landlord to undertake the work. If happen to you. managed to put together our he STILL doesn’t do it (and believe requests in writing and kept back me, it can happen) you have the copies for ourselves. Within the right to arrange your own repairs The Survival Guide to Housing’s ears letter we noted everything that and claim the money back from Dos and Don’ts cant needed to be repaired or replaced - your landlord. However, make sure wish the list went onto two pages. We that you do the following three DO anti also requested a refund from those things before calling a professional ove months when the ‘uninvited guests’ in; * Check the name of aws had been staying. We never got that your landlord with the han back in full, although he did knock 1) give the landlord plenty of notice Accomodation Office (they inst three weeks off the next month’s can advise you if they know ard. rent. What an angel. 2) get estimates for the work and of any previous problems) the ns a This is an extreme scenario and it 3) ask the landlord to pay before * Inspect properties thoroughly will hopefully never happen to you. holding back any rent. - flush the tiolets, turn the mith We have, however, already heard shower on, speak to the for that the same landlord moved more If you need any advice about an previous tenants if possible. nion Extra mattresses for all the extra asylum seekers into another of his accomodation issue, it is definitely ting residents properties over this summer. So worth taking a trip to the SAIC - just * Get your contract checked by Rubbish left by unwanted tenants has man d by on’t Feel better- Register now orm ✰ for Dr Theresa Creagh depression and it’s better to get help Everybody should now be Residence you have a much higher Access to Student Mental cy. sooner rather than later. immunised against Meningitis C as chance of catching it because you Health Team and THERE are 2 practices on the well as being up to date with are living in close contact with so Eating Disorders Team ✰ be campus, specialising in student When you register with a G.P. there Tetanus and Polio. If you are not many people. Some people are also Smokestop Clinic ✰ ture health and offering a wide range is an opportunity to review any then these will be updated when you more at risk than others. Well Person Clinics are of services, as well as a variety of health problems you have had in the register with your G.P. Please past. For some students, registering remember that Meningitis C Once you have registered with a Any new students who have not yet m to other local practices. It’s important that you register with a with a G.P. at university is an immunisation does not protect G.P. please do use them. The G.P. registered with a G.P. can register to local G.P. for a variety of reasons. opportunity to look at problems that against all the strains of meningitis can offer help and advice on a wide anytime. All the queues have gone hich they have not wanted to discuss and remain vigilant about range of problems. Here are just a now so it shouldn’t take long! ance Life as a student can be great fun with their family doctor. symptoms. few of the services on offer: hose but it can also be stressful.The Most importantly, once you have Second and third years please out. doctors and nurses are quite used to registered with a G.P. it means that If you are living in a Hall of ✰ Travel Advice inform your G.P. Surgery if you ment seeing students who are feeling you have a place to go when you Residence we also recommend that ✰ Sports Injury Clinic/ have changed your address this any miserable and wishing they weren’t need medical help. The last thing you have a flu vaccination. As Physiotherapy term. ady here, especially in the first few you want is to feel ill at three in the unfortunately ‘flu epidemics usually ✰ Contraception and ping weeks of term. If these sorts of morning and have to start ringing occur in December/January and for Sexual Health Advice ble- feelings go on for a long time they round to see which doctor you can many of you this will coincide with ✰ Help with Treating Acne University Health Service can sometimes trigger anxiety or get to see you! exam time. If flu hits a Hall of ✰ Psychological Support www.unidocs.co.uk 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 12

WESSEX PAGE 12 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE The Wrong Time to Graduate? Victoria Fairhurst professional service firms. Blue-chip Three years of partying, drinking, Now is the time to wake up! the decision not to recruit into their companies are also hiring fewer free Wednesday afternoons and the This ‘squeeze’ is getting tighter and Consultancy division this year. graduates. The Association of odd lecture are finally drawing to an will continue. They are not Graduate Recruiters announced that end; and what next? In the wake of alone. between July and October, 1 in 4 Careers Week, third years are left companies had reduced their targets with the sobering thought of what to for graduate recruits. The survey do upon leaving university. based on 166 top UK employers P showed that 16% had deferred Careers Week talks were designed to graduate jobs for up to one year and help those suffering from ‘I don’t 10% have withdrawn offers know what to do’ or ‘Where do I completely. The scramble for start?’ syndromes. In addition to this, graduate jobs this year looks likely to major graduate recruiters provided be fast and furious. guidance for those with a little more So what does it mean for this year’s direction. Talks involved how to ‘Pass graduates? A few things are clear. that interview’, ‘Make the most of the The The positions on offer will be heavily milk-round’, ‘Write the perfect CV’ aggressive subscribed; detaining them will be and ‘How to find the job you want’. recruitment difficult. In the search for that first of the late post-graduate job, graduates may But were these talks presenting an 90’s boom need to cast their net much wider. over-optimistic picture? The slow years is a thing Now is perhaps a good time to decline in the British economy is no of the past. consider alternative options. Perhaps longer headline news. Throughout Firms are delaying bonus some of the most useful sessions in 2001 a ‘squeeze’ has been felt in or removing offers was on offer. Nine KPMG Careers Week were those entitled telecommunications, IT and made to graduates. Last months later on, in have also ‘Taking a Year Out’, ‘Introduction to manufacturing. Whilst we busy year Accenture, at their milk- August this year, announced Postgraduate Study’ and ‘Self- ourselves with starting a new year, round presentation in they told 400 new downsizing of their consulting employment and Entrepreneurship’. catching up on reading or a missed Southampton, claimed that the size recruits not to turn up for work in the arm. The ever-glamorous career in As long as you do something planned lecture, it is easy to dismiss the of their firm was only limited by the autumn and instead delayed their Management Consultancy is likely to and positive, you will not be locked redundancies as unfortunate and number of strong graduates that they jobs until the end of the year. be tough to secure. The cutback in out of the employment market when inconsequential to student life. could recruit. The £10,000 starting PricewaterhouseCoopers have made recruitment is not limited to the it recovers.

Only 35 times-jokin’, 3) Biggest surprise 4) Estimate how many lectures haven’t thought about it once! Southampton has thrown out so you have missed? far? I have missed 6 lectures in the last 6) Estimate how There are only 6 of us 5 weeks. That’s almost equivalent many lectures on my course and one to one week off for me. you have missed? of them is from the About 4 same school as me to hangovers!!! 4) What has come as the biggest shock s far Fresher’s Street is WSX three weekly about living away from home? answer to the soaps! 9 fresher’s have Finding out that I am unable to become 5 this issue! They are being cook. followed to discover the highs, lows, 5) How many times have you scandals and heartache of life at thought about leaving? Southampton University None so far but I can see that Name: Emma Age: 20 changing when the exams start. 1) What is your traffic light status so not much, but the amount of now? (Red- girlfriend/boyfriend, alcohol I can consume without yellow- thinking about it, green- collapsing still shocks me. single) Definitely GREEN-there’s no 5) What’s the most liberating chance I’m going to be anything but thing about not living at home? single for the first year! I wanna have I can come and go as I please! fun without having a bloke trying to tell me what to do, what to wear etc. Name: Sach Warah, Age: 19 6) Estimate how many lectures Name: Anusha, Age:18 Plus I haven’t seen one bloke that I 1) What is your traffic light status you have missed? 1) What is your traffic light think is good looking yet, WHERE now? On average 4/5 a week. status now? ARE THEY? Green. There aren’t any other Still Red! 2) Your most stereotypical fresher colours on my traffic light and there won’t be any for a long time. 2) Your most stereotypical moment so far? fresher moment so far? Falling down the stairs at Kaos (a 2) Your most stereotypical fresher Super noodle moments after very painful experience) and having coming home from a night out! to be carried home by two blokes moment so far? Name: Roger Age:18 I woke up one morning and was because I was hammered!!!! 1) What is your traffic light 3) What has come as the biggest quite pleased to see a lipstick mark status now? on one of my cups. I then looked in shock so far about living away 3) Biggest surprise Southampton Yellow (last issue Green!) from home? has thrown out so far? the mirror and remembered that I had been dressed up as a clown the Having to do all those really Craig David drove past us on 2) Your most stereotypical annoying buggery things like Saturday! He was obviously visiting night before for Halloween and that fresher moment so far? the lipstick mark was mine! emptying rubbish and doing his mum! And yes he is every bit as Staggering back from a good night washing! gorgeous as he looks on the TV!!!! out, and then continuing the party 3) Biggest surprise Southampton into the early hours. Great stuff. has thrown out so far? Name: Philippa, Age:18 4) What’s the most liberating 4) What’s the most liberating thing about not living at home? My mate from school who I’ve What is your traffic light status 3) Biggest surprise thing about not living at home? now? Still Red No nagging! Being able to live in a pigsty if I want known for 7 years lives next door to Southampton has thrown out so me. far? and not have parents constantly 2) Your most stereotypical 5) Estimate how many lectures moaning at me to clear it up! Seeing lots of people I know from 4) What has come as the biggest fresher moment so far? you have missed? my home city (Swansea), I came Don’t be silly; I’ve been to every shock so far? Chocolate spread on toast, any here thinking I would maybe see 5) How many times have you time of the day!!! single one! thought about leaving? I’ve lived away from home before, just one person, very scary. 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:04 am Page 13 ? chip wer of that n 4 I spit the maddest thuggish lyrics November 22nd 2001 gets vey yers Photo: Emmanuelle Smith rred and The Good, the fers for y to Bad and the

ar’s lear. Ugly Duckling vily be first at the Joiners may der. to haps s in tled n to elf- hip’. Congress ned ked hen goes pear shaped res ast ent The Edge interview the boy in the HOOD

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Welcome to... 22nd NOVEMBER 2001

Editorial

Here I am, hours before the deadline and no THE NEWS... The Th editorial. I promised myself Sat this wouldn’t happen again, cea but hey -what a surprise- it with EDGE hound Paul Cornwell Sq has! It’s that horrible last Sq minute essay feeling, only eve worse ‘cos everyone has to EDGE ast read the final result, not inc just some poor lecturer. Pat This issue, as per usual, is Ray jam packed with quality na features, reviews, be TOP Th interviews and fab competitions. And for the just edi first time ever (well, for ED some while anyway) we The have some MAIL... Keep it hit coming kids and maybe 10 the one day we’ll warrant a st having a letters page. why Wouldn’t that be fun! songs that be On the music front, the Sou past few weeks have been George W Bush ret catastrophic in terms of it w dance - No one turned up can go f**k we for CONGRESS, and clu himself to Oc Squeeze 18 have severed suc links with both Paradise I Club and New York’s. It The ‘godfather of psychedelia’, It has been scientifically proven The So Awful Crew, sorry, So that listening to the Prodigy as Solid Crew have been upping 1- IFWHITEAMERICATOLDTHE plu was all too good to be Ken Kesey has died aged 66. The writer of one of the most enduring opposed to Bach when you’re their commercial presence by TRUTHFORONEDAYITSWORLD Par true, wasn’t it? I guess it’s Great American Novels of the post- speeding your tits off is more likely appearing as all new collectable som back to Kaos on a thursday WOULDFALLAPART by the rea war era, One Flew Over The to kill you (if you’re a mouse). In cards.As if they haven’t been in the Manic Street Preachers night for me then. Not. Cuckoo’s Nest, died on November experiments at Cambridge headlines enough with the recent bee 10 in Oregon. Kesey has been University to see if amphetamines conviction of Skat D, the ove Emmanuelle widely accredited for the launch of are dangerous in a club shootings at their recent London 2- Spectators of Suicide Par the hippy movement in America and environment a total of eleven mice Astoria show, and the increasingly (Bombers) by Manic Street ver we for having a profound effect on bought the big one. circulating stories surrounding Preachers music since then. Forty mice were injected with most of the members and violence. obl THE EDGE In 1964, Kesey, using the proceeds speed and were subjected to the So Solid Crew founder, rem TEAM from his novels, bought an old Prodigy at high volumes. Another Megaman, has tried to distance 3- A Working Class Hero furt school bus, painted it with forty were also injected with speed his group from the violence by John Lennon Editor: Emmanuelle Smith psychedelic patterns and set off on and were subjected to a Bach violin blaming the established ‘culture of Working Class? Redneck Assistant Editor: Paul Cornwell a road trip across America to concerto at an extreme level. After violence’ in the garage scene.These bastard, more like. Dance: Charlotte Devalda spread the gospel of the then legal running around for a while and ‘collectors’ cards are unlikely to Film: Tim Houghton LSD. The bus was driven by Neal procuring glow sticks and whistles, help with one of the crew’s (Mac) Cassady, the inspiration for Dean seven of the mice died. Only four of skills described as “I spit the 4- Bullet Proof by With: Nimalan Thanigasapapathy, Moriaty in Jack Kerouac’s classic, the mice listening to Bach died. maddest, thuggish lyrics”. Afghan Wigsgeddit? W Satwant Phander, Sam Ferguson, On The Road. Barney Sprague,Amos Usiskin, 5- My enemy (is anyone I Tim White, Christopher Bienemann,, Rich Heap, Emma don’t understand) by Webster, Nina Dubravec, Paul Afghan Wigs Coltofeanu, Lauren Brash, Colin HATE MAIL Le Bourdat,Andrew G Ryan, T 6- I can’t explain (why Darren Pickering, Ross Melville, Dear EDGE, audience, in a Russian accent..." I would like for you to Simon Foster, Nick Hampton, Just a small note to point out elaborate on this notion we’re at war) by The Who James Hayward,Alex Cooke, how much of a twat Paul "RUSSIAN" that The Super Furry Paul Cairn, Chris Holt Cornwell is to those who might Animals aren’t from the 7- We have explosive by not have picked up on it. Here's just a small lesson in British former Soviet Union. Future Sound of London F The Edge Cast your mind back to the Politics. Keep The Welsh Happy. Everyone knows that they’re S.U.S.U previous issue of the edge They're bastards when they get Russian. If they weren’t T Highfield (October 30th 2001) in which pissed off. Russian why would they 8- Born in the USA (and a Southampton PC told us about a certain have released an all Russian don’t want to move cos’ S017 1BJ WELSH band going by the name Chris Weekes language album? we’re scared) by Bruce tel: 023 805955230 of Super Furry Animals' S Next you’ll be writing in to Springstein fax: 023 80595252 performance at Southampton Chris my friend, you seem to ‘inform’ me that The S e-mail: [email protected] Guildhall back in September. be a tad angry about Charlatans aren’t from Now maybe I'm wrong in saying something. Not doing so well Germany. Save your time, 9- Everyone wants to rule C Published by S.U.S.U- everyone knows a WELSH on your course? Having trouble you can’t convince me. the world by Copyright 2001 accent when they hear one but coming to terms with your Knob. Tears for Fears the line "Gruff first spoke to the obvious crack addiction? Paul Cornwell 2 Got any reviews, film / music articles or random rants? If any more of my, or my colleagues, reviews or articles particularly get on your tits, follow Chris’ example 10-Death and Glory by S Well e-mail them now to and email us at the address just to the left there. If you want a fight, come up to the office. Go on. The Clash [email protected] (Actually, don’t- Ed) O

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 Random... KERRANG! COMPETITION. The Paradise club as of Saturday November 3rd has ceased to be in affiliation with TROUBLE IN PARADISE Squeeze 18.This means that all Squeeze 18/Paradise Club events are cancelled. The astonishing November line-up, including J Majik, Andy C(!), Patife, Ed Case, Ramsey & Fen, Ray Hurley and Slipmatt to name just a few, will no longer be gracing Southampton. The news was officially announced just two days after the recent edition (October 30th) of the EDGE, containing a full page ode to Check it out you filthy The Paradise Club and Squeeze 18, hit the street. The news (and not metallers. We’ve got the drugs) has left many clubbers in 10 copies of this filthy a state of bewilderment, wondering CD to give away to you why the amazing line up has had to CANCELLED be cancelled. The reality that bunch of hairy Southampton has once again unwashed types. h returned to the musical desert that it was is taking time to sink in. Many Squeeze have lost money on the November didn’t show Squeeze partnership has also been ditched it Featuring the likes of were left wondering as to why the venture, but Squeeze are reportedly said “We were just unlucky...by can be revealed. This was more on Slipknot, Machine Head, club should end these nights after “in a secure financial position” and booking so many DJ’s in just 1 the part of NY2 management not October was so seemingly this will in no way harm the long month it was inevitable that they getting on with regular Friday night Staind, OPM, Iggy Pop, successful. term prospects of Squeeze 18. wouldn’t all show. We were gutted occupants Digital. This means that System of a Down, The It was Squeeze who pulled the Nobody has been available for about Marky, but watch this space, the forthcoming night on Friday Icarus Line and E plug on the partnership, leaving The comment from the Paradise Club, he will return to Southampton for 30th November featuring DJ Krust, D Paradise club without a line up and so the future is less clear for them. his 3rd visit soon.” DJ Marky was The Heavies (live), Rodney P, Killa Akercocke to name but somewhat in the lurch. The official It is believed that they are still stuck in Brazil at the time and J Kella, Nicky Blackmarket and Plus a few. reasons for the departure have not functioning on Friday and Saturday Majik was engaged with prior One has been cancelled. been stated bar the fact that the nights with unnamed garage DJs on international commitments. A future venue for Squeeze has yet To win one of these overheads were too high, but the Friday nights and unnamed All contracts are void if the artist to be decided at the time of going fantastic albums just Paradise Club owners are said to be commercial house DJs on has radio or TV commitments to press with all attention focused email your answer to the et very “pissed off”. As no contracts Saturdays. A far cry from the big which clash Squeeze informed The on the recent Goldie night at the were signed however, there was no names that were residing there less EDGE. DJ Marky was replaced by Guildhall. following question to us: obligation on either parties to than a month ago. the excellent Ray Keith and the remain in partnership and no As to why both DJ Marky on the door price was reduced due to the further action can be taken. first D&B night of October and J no show of J Majik. People = What? Both the Paradise Club and Majik on the first D&B night of The short lived NY2/Squeeze 18 Paul Cornwell k WASTE YOUR LOANS... GO TO THESE NIGHTS OUT! NOVEMBER DECEMBER Friday 23rd- 1st- The Edge and Wessex Scene present Poundstretcher feat. BAT2K Chris T-T @ The Joiners and Top DJs @ The Union 11th- Saturday 24th- Wheatus @ The Guildhall Shifty Disco presents Plastik + Six Ray Sun + Meanwhile Back in Communist Russia @ Joiners Arms e 13th- Faithless @ The Guildhall 27th- Napalm Death @ Nexus 16th- Saturday 30th- So Solid Crew with Oxide + Neutrino @ The Guildhall OOMF presents Clearlake + Guests @ Joiners Arms

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 SINGLES ALBUM S

MOGWAI STEPHEN MALKMUS My Father My King JoJo’s Jacket J (Rock Action) (Domino) T ( This twenty-minute instrumental is If who was to be Christmas No 1 BUY THIS! the first release from Mogwai since were up to people like me, this Or Else... G this years Rock Action LP and will would undoubtedly be it. It has it all: ( be familiar to anyone who has seen a catchy tune, humour (but t the band live, as it has been their set thankfully not in the same vein as CHRIS T-T define- Singer/Songwriter indie pop Jo closer for the past two years. The Mr Blobby et.al), and a little The 253 sounds about right but not quite h track has all that you would expect “feeling”.“JoJo’s Jacket” reminds me (Snowstorm) good enough. s By the way, g Finally- the long anticipated follow Chris T-T is R up to the fantastically funny Panic playing live at B Attack at Sainsbury’s LP! The title the Joiners on C to this album refers to the London the 1st Jo bus route that links Finsbury Park December, so c and Hackney. Cockney Geezer... hopefully, I’ll li The songwriting, as with his see U previous offering, is the height of you all there! s wit with constant references to t popular culture: The Daily Mail b readers have defeated me- 9/10 h from a Mogwai- the quiet bits, the of a more tongue in cheek version Spending Sunday Morning D build up, the loud bits, and three of Ben Folds Five’s “Brick”. As watching Dawson’s Creek. In ES t minutes of feedback to round it all always, Stephen Malkmus doesn’t ‘Burn a Bridge’, Tony Robinson’s C off. All of this results in a perfectly disappoint. Unfortunately, who is Time Team discover the Holy a executed and emotional piece as going to be Christmas No 1 is not Grail in Somerset. Bizarre... r only Mogwai can produce. up to people like me.There are too As well as his winsome humour fi 9/10 few of us and we’re far too broke to and cleverness, Chris T-T has a lot is CB pay £4 for a single. Nevermind, hey... to offer in terms of music. His s 8/10 ‘genre’ as such is difficult to m IDORU ES t the safety in numbers ep R (Blanco Y Negro) ROBBIE WILLIAMS & ROBBIE WILLIAMS quite as sophisticated as the real include ‘Somethin’ Stupid’ (the o NICOLE KIDMAN Swing When You’re Winning thing but it is very close. His voice one with Nicole Kidman), ‘They b Straight from Southampton, this is Somethin’ Stupid (EMI: Chrysalis) is top quality and so is the music. Can’t Take That Away From Me’ p idoru’s debut offering (along with a (EMI) Respect to (the one with Rupert Everett) c subversive non-use of capital Have you see any pictures of The London Session Orchestra, and ‘It Was A Very Good Year’ r letters... hasta la grammatical Robbie and Nicole’s version of Robbie Williams recently? Black innit.The production is slick and, far (the one with Frank Sinatra!) Well revolution!) Initially, though, ‘safety Frank and Nancy Sinatra’s classic is suit... white face... vacant from being a cheap rip-off, it does if Tupac can do it...) The duet with 2 in numbers’ leaves you stranded in in itself almost identical to the 1967 expression? No, that’s not an manage to be (quite) debonair. Frank does highlight the gulf in an old arcade game, even before version and the pair add none of undertaker... that’s Robbie’s new Admittedly, it’s not going to win any vocal class though, and will leave Greg Gilbert’s vocals; they’re raw, their own influence to the song. direction. He is digging up stuff prizes for innovation, and probably many people pining for the yet somehow higher than that W Robbie is a pale imitation of Frank from the past in a quest to make won’t supersede nu-metal as the genuine article. Having said that, young lad in Wheatus. Hmmm? But H Sinatra as his vocals simply aren’t himself the King of Swing, and I sound of disillusioned British youth. it’s a smooth album, and Robbie once the first (proper) verse arrives (I strong enough. However, even with want to hate him for it. I really But hopefully it’ll introduce some has somehow made that leap it improves masses. The melody all of this the record is currently the do. So at the risk of eternal people to the magnificence of the from ‘the fat dancer in Take breezes in effortlessly and it’s neat, B favourite to be X-mas No 1, and is humiliation I’ll say the next bit real Rat Pack. If you fancy That’ to the accomplished pleasant and moves along nicely.The se likely to head in that direction when quietly: for what it is, it is very something cool, relaxing and professional. And there’s another chorus is pretty good too (yet u released in mid December. One to good. polished, or want a break from good thing- I don’t have to buy hardly explosive), and they’re clearly “U watch out for during the X-mas Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine my Grandma a Christmas present musically proficient. But they seem su period, and likely to get a lot of Okay, so ‘Swing When You’re or the Manics you could do a lot any more. to hold back and lack any cutting N airplay, if only to prevent Cliff Winning’ is essentially an album worse. edge. Having said that, it’s very L Richard from getting to Number 1! of cover versions and all the For such an ambitious project, listenable and, all in all, a promising sl Nothing original songs are class. It might not be Robbie’s pulled it off well. Highlights 8/10 RH debut. 5/10 aw 7/10 EW fr RH “B THE WHITE STRIPES yo JAMIROQUAI Hotel Yorba OCEAN COLOUR SCENE b You give me something (XL) Songs For The Front Row thanks to TFI Friday and Lock Stock. fan who has liked the singles but o (Sony) (Island) All the classics are here, from never actually bought an OCS n The first single to be released from ‘Riverboat Song’, through ‘Travellers album this compilation comes e This record is classic Jamiroquai, the eagerly awaited third album This eighteen track best of Tune’, to ‘Profit in Peace’ and the highly recommended as it liv definitely one for the charts and ‘White Blood Cells’. As you’d compilation has everything that album contains 10 top 20 hits. The provides a good introduction to th likely to do very well.The CD looks expect from a two-piece it is you would expect from an Ocean difficulty in recommending a best of their work, and provides all of ro (funky orange) and sounds great. simple. It’s also a catchy countrified Colour Scene greatest hits. Any compilation comes in defining who the tracks that you would hope la Even if you don’t normally like JK’s toe-tapping gem. best of compilation should should buy it; for those of you who would appear on an Ocean o sounds this is one you should look It’s a good song and it’s simplicity consist of instantly recognisable are big OCS fans there is nothing Colour Scene best of. out for. Probably one to play before bolsters it somehow, but it is quite songs and this is certainly the new here so unless you particularly a night out. difficult to see exactly why the NME case here as almost all of the want all the (supposedly) best 8 8/10 have wet themselves over them. tracks have been released as tracks on one CD there is little P. EW 7/10 singles, and others are familiar reason to buy this. For the casual CB 5/10 PC

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 ALBUMS

SYSTEM OF A DOWN JOLENE Toxicity ANDREW W.K. Single, ‘Party Hard’ is an life and the music business is The Pretty Dive (Sony) I Get Wet excellent song, it is however the spot on. The recurring theme of (Blue Rose Records) (Mercury) only song that breaks through parties can never be a bad thing Okay ‘Chop Suey’ was a kind of mediocrity. The combination (‘It’s Time To Party’, Party Hard’ Going by the album cover metal mini - beast...Compliments The NME has got it wrong big works for ‘Party Hard’ but it soon ‘Party Til You Puke’ and ‘Fun (pretty young lady sticking over. With working titles like style here. Unlike The Strokes, wears thin and after about twenty Night’ all on the one album).You tongue out) and with the name ‘Needles’, ‘X’, ‘Toxicity’, and who deserved every shred of minutes it just becomes grating. do get the feeling however, that Jolene, you’d only have to be a ‘Psycho’ you were risking your hype, I was left the partying took half - baked detective to money on ending up with a brain with an are you Scary guy! precedence over suspect some cleverclogs indie - dead rock monster. Sometimes serious look on recording a half girl strummings. all you see is what you get - and my face after decent album. Rrrrrrrr...wrong ! forget any a little less. While tracks like listening to ‘I Andrew W.K. is Beth Orton longings or a ‘Prison song’ and ‘RTWA’ are Get Wet’. What alive however.From Cerys Mathews rehab album. admittedly more pleasurable was supposed to smashing his own Jolene are an occasional REM than filling your ear canals with have been the face in to get a copycat outfit as on the rusty warm fluid, overall music for the realistic bloody likeable ‘Genius Genius’. ‘Toxicity’ is a run of the mill new millennium nose for the album Unfortunately Jolene have got music by numbers yellathon for is actually a cover to the self- straying plagiarist fingers. They teenagers with testosterone to dodgy rehash of mutilation of his take the countrified road to shift. System Of A Down - won’t Meatloaf with a face upon request bring you a Proud Mary-like, be lying under too many few metal riffs from an NME half-decent ‘New Refrain Christmas trees this year. If so and a bit more photographer. Detritus’, but bar these two expect a major toxic clearout shouting. Whether he’ll tracks, there’s an awful lot of come spring. Andrew W.K.’s continue to still be CD space wastage. There’s vocal style alive soon if he also an alarming inclination to 2/10 ranges from the carries on like this restoke some Neil Diamond DP big man is another thing fire, but even kick ass karaoke previously however. is beyond them. There’s also mentioned to Andrew W.K. is a some serious musical 4HERO Jon Bon Jovi character, one who mismatch work going on: ever Making Patterns with a sore is good to have tried welding a bit of (Talkin’ Loud) throat running wild about Radiohead onto a major slice interspersed with a bit of metally ‘I Love NYC’ has totally ripped the music scene, causing A few of the Drum & Bass heads e of Neil Diamond? Jolene shouting. Not good on the off early nineties ITV children’s controversy and heated debate I spoke to did a sort of sneer ey believe it’s a clever move. A whole. Musically it is very reliant show ‘Fun House’, (I accept the at every turn. I wish him luck and when I mentioned 4 Hero. e’ pretty dive into your record on a continual bass drum beat fact that Andrew has probably hope that he can return with an Earlier releases like Earth t) collection? Out with the with some simple guitar hooks never seen it or even heard of Pat album that is less shit and a bit Pioneers certainly had a more r’ rubbish Jolene, out! out!! and some funny synths.Again not Sharpe but it is disturbing and um, better, in the future. jump up feel, but still not really ell the stuff pioneering music is well, quite shit nonetheless). jungle.The illustrious Sub Editor h 2/10 DP made of. Andrew W.K.’s attitude towards 4/10 PC Paul Cornwell muttered n something about “coffee-table ve drum and bass”. Fair enough, but e Except, of course, the forced wit WITNESS not in the Adam F kind of way, THE BEAUTIFUL SOUTH t, of their (often inexplicable) lyrics, VARIOUS Here’s One For You or the Kruder and Dorfmeister Solid Bronze - Great Hits e and the tediously dreary pace of Dread Meets Punk (Island) way. A lot of attention, especially (Go! Discs) p the music. And before you go Rockers Uptown on the new release, has been You’ve heard of The accusing me of spouting ‘holier- (EMI) Bristol’s Witness release the payed to arrangement; strings, d Housemartins haven’t you? Well, than-thou’ bullshit (probably true) second single from their almost wind and brass. Most of the Compiled by former Big Audio er when they split up they released I did listen to this album all the unnoticed second album tracks have a suggestion of Dynamite member DJ Don Letts y Norman Cook into the world to way through and it was God- “Under A Sun”. Having recently marching. Someone likes their this is an utterly essential nt become Fatboy Slim. “Hallelujah. awful. supported Mercury Award shiny new snare drum it would collection for anyone who’’ even Thank God for The This is a soul-destroying selection Nominee Ed Harcourt in seem. Having heard the single, slightly interested in Dub. Housemartins!” I may hear you of insipid, mind-numbing London the five piece deliver a ‘Les Fleur’, I was keen to hear Featuring some of the true say, but wait- they also released MOR shite of the kind I thought slice of timeless AOR, worlds the rest of the album, and, innovators such as Augustus H Paul Heaton and Dave I’d left behind when I stopped away from any singles taken despite it’s tight production, it Pablo, Lee Perry and the man Hemingway into the world- and listening to commercial radio. In from their emotive debut LP contain anyother such stand out himself King Tubby, this album they formed The Beautiful South- truth, it’s a Greatest Hits album “Before the Calm”. A year ago tracks. The sheer epic size of demonstrates the bass heavy Bloody Housemartins! I gave it a (their second I think), and thus you’d expect Witness songs to that one tune is enough to give antics which inspired a legion of chance, though. I really did. But, if just an excuse to get a bit more be used on the closing credits credence to the group. But then punks from The Clash to The you’re a Beautiful South fan then money off the back of limited ut of tear jerking pieces of film- perhaps if you don’t like the Pop Group. Ranging from the you should look away now (if former glories. But now I’m going S noir yet this one pops up at the operatic feel of the single you’ll almost pop reggae of U-Roy’s you’re out of your musically to listen to something es end of American Pie 2. It’s a appreciate the chilled breakiness ‘Wear you to the ball’ to Big induced coma that is) enjoyable,like the sound of it lively, bouncy rocker perfect for of the Jill Scott colaboration Youth’s deep voiced tribute to Whoever you are, I’m sure you’ll scratching this album’s shiny side o that last song you play in your Gotta Get Up. This is a peak- Jamaican folk-hero ‘Marcus have heard of a lot of the songs with my flatmate’s Koch Messer of room before you go out on the and-trough work, unmatched by Garvey’ this album is an before; ‘Rotterdam (Or knife (no, seriously, there is a knife e lash. Here’s One for You? Here’s some excellent enthusiasm and indispensable document for Anywhere)’, ‘Don’t Marry Her’, called that!). But just because n one for everyone. flair is the drawing out of too those who just can’t get their ‘Everybody’s Talkin’, ‘A Little some of the songs were just many of the loops. But when it’s head round the huge number of Time’,‘Song For Whoever’,‘Good about tolerable at some good it’s fresh, i haven’t heard dub reissues. as Gold (Stupid as Mud)’... yeah, point in history I’ll give it... 8/10 anything like it be4. P..Coltofeanu they’re all there. But if you haven’t 8/10 heard (or even heard of) them 3/10 0 AU TH then you’re not missing anything. RH

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 ALBUMS

THE MUSIC Scream. You Might As Well Try To ‘Treat Me Right On’ sees traces ALBUMS IN Fuck Me (EP) of Led Zeppelin again but this (Virgin) time with an overriding element BRIEF DEMO- of early Verve. It’s bare and In case you don’t know, The plodding until it all kicks in and MOWER Music are another band heralded consumes you in a climactic wall Mower by the NME as the new saviours of grandiose wailing. (Transcopic) of British guitar music. It always Final track ‘Too High’ again Angry grungy punk rock. ways heavy on a band who have heavily bears the hallmark of Produced by Graham Coxon. only released one single through circa 1992 Verve but with Dicky Quite listenable. 7/10 an independent when these Ashcroft replaced with a LITION claims are levelled at them. straining but yet soothing lead THE CURE This then, is The Music’s debut EP. singer in Robert Harvey.This EP Greatest Hits It does go to prove, to as much as contains four songs, lasting (Fiction/Polydor) a degree as can be with four nearly twenty-two minutes in The Cure’s greatest hits, as you Welcome to the very first songs, that The Music are quality. total, of extremely pleasing may have gathered from the instalment of a brand new feature Title track ‘You Might As Well music. title. Why oh why do bands Try To Fuck Me’ is a bombast that This is music that will fuck with always do this? Aaargh! 5/10 in which we review your musical leaves the title refrain running your mind if you let your guard around your head and makes you down. It’ll sneak up on you, jump PINK FLOYD offerings- So if you’re in a band and A want to break things. It’s raw, you from behind and then drag Echoes- The Best of Pink you want everyone to know about emotion fuelled and powerful. you off to live with it in a smutty Floyd The next tune, ‘Karma’ sounds squat. (EMI) it, come and give us your demo. HE like Led Zeppelin being fucked As above, yet another walk Po over by a current day Primal 9/10 PC down memory lane. This one, Our office is upstairs in the West W however, is less of an uphill building (where the bar is) And you struggle and more of a country 22 THE AVALANCHES this has its far share of re-mixes stroll. 8/10 Electricity (EP) that might leave you feeling hard know what they say: all publicity is (XL Recordings) done by, but most add something good publicity... worthwhile- Doctor Rockit’s THE BUSH THE TREE Af This 6 track EP is the latest contribution being the AND ME fro offering from the antipodean outstanding track.The final track How to Get Home Ha dance funksters. ‘Electricity’ is ‘A different feeling’, remixed by (Epic) too taken from their album Since I left Ernest St. Imagine Alanis Morisette em you which spawned the hit single Laurent, continues with the same crossed with The Corrs. Now, he imagine it actually sounds semi- of the same name.Whereas that blend of soul tinged funk. ap decent.Weird, eh? 6/10 one found its way onto the ‘Electricity’, released on 3rd ex ‘chillout’ compilation circuit, this December, is just another reason the provides us with a more lively KID GALLAHAD why to give their ca taste of their talent, although the album a go. Runaway Train EP same soulful female tones linger (Chrysalis) a S throughout. As with many EPs 7/10 RM Quite good, hardly sets the los world on fire though. They no aren’t doing themselves any ha RADIOHEAD own needs rather than those of favours with their shit name. tha I might be wrong- Live their record company or 4/10 “it recordings promoters.This bands output has W (Parlophone) singularly followed their own FOUR TET musical bent as it were- it is again Paws (EP) A c Its always nice to have in your focussed here on I might be wrong, (Domino) (my hands the real McCoy. Melvyn recorded at gigs on this years Pretty weird beaty mix of tha Bragg once produced a world tour,from Oxford to Berlin, electronica and break beat “go compelling documentary on The strange bedfellows unless you’re drumming. Nice in small doses fine Smiths. Primarily it stated that the Christopher Isherwood. The but it starts to grate before the Beautiful hand painted artwork on the covere... the Smiths were significantly more original versions of these works end of the first song. 5/10 enc important than the Beatles can be sourced on the Kid A and “Yo because of their unique reference Amnesiac Albums with the SUM 41 genre is the ‘cheese factor’- NUMO- like which was always England. exception of ‘True Love Waits’ Half Hour of Power 3 track EP Numo have a much more kid Radiohead have the same weight which has never been committed (The Island of Def Jam Unsigned grown up and dare I say so in focussing on lyrical quality, to tape before. It’s a fitting epitaph Music Group: Universal) intelligent sound compared to is which is rooted deeply in the soil to our student readership and the This is crap. If you like Sum 41, No one seems to know where their stateside cousins. Strong gra of this country but closer in ease to which they tumble in the and are willing to show your Numo come from and frankly vocals and a more than kno company with Coleridge on a dirt with strangers. The whole face, come up to the office and we don’t care....but as unsigned adequate recording quality give do cold winters evening than release is a private view into a the album is yours. Go on, I dare bands go this lot are pretty a amicable blend which out Wordsworth dallying with dafs. musical orchid translucent with you... 0/10 likely to get snapped up. Numo definitely doesn’t offend the a l When the going gets weird, the creativity and crackling with have a varied but contemporary ear drums! Keep at it you sou weird turn professional (thank meaning. BLACK NIELSON sound akin to the skate rock never know who’s desk you for you Hunter S. Thompson) and This release is worthy of the Still Life Hear Me sound of Blink 182- especially in might end up on next! loa Radiohead have just released a purchase for Like spinning plates (Truck Records) the opening track which is sam live mini album- It really is a alone. Buy and enjoy in a dark A lot like Grandaddy, but they’re catchy and definitely my not celebration of the best qualities winters room. from Southampton. If you get favourite on this EP. Where they a b of Radiohead, and their ability to the chance to see them live, do. differ from existing bands of the Andrew G Ryan tha remain creatively tuned into their NH It’s all good. 8/10

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 DEAD TO THE Live...

EMBRACE supported by AIR COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE Southampton Guildhall Southampton Guildhall 18/10/01 12/11/01 It seems there are 2 criteria for The Guildhall was the opening MEDIA? being a member of the Cooper night of Air's national tour and Temple Clause - 1) to look like a they were blessed with a monkey and 2) to have the capacity crowd. As the band ability to hurl a tambourine at first appeared, the cheers were your keyboard player at break- saved for Jean-Benoit Dunkel neck speed.It’s these things that who wore a spectacular stick in the memory most from Dracula style cape as he stood tonight’s space-rock, six-piece behind his keyboards. The support band who seem grossly opener was a quiet disinterested throughout their instrumental’(Electronic set, the most likely reason being Performers)’ and the music that they’re all hammered. As initially failed to grasp the the vocalist stumbles around the attention of the audience and stage introducing “Let’s Kill Music” as cries of "Play some Umlaut" a song about “Flowers”, you can’t could be heard. Soon, however, help but think they’d be better off the crowd was won over by the supporting Muse or the now defunct quality of the musicianship on Smashing Pumpkins.CTC have about display. A special mention must be d Artwork from the Dead Media album as much in common with Embrace given to the rhythm section who as Axl Rose does with Iain Duncan were able to give every song a solid Smith, but on the last night of the backbone over which Jean-Benoit HEFNER tour it’s the headliners who come up and Nicolas Godin could trumps. Following their reflective, Portsmouth experiment. The set was redemption-themed third LP, If You’ve Wedgewood Rooms predominantly taken from the Never Been, singer Danny McNamara u 22/10/01 recent 10,000Hz Legend album, has moved on from the heartbreak often comprised of bleep-heavy that dominated the groups first two robotically voiced tracks.The biggest LPs and it’s perfectly portrayed in cheers were reserved for their After a sublime support set tonight’s opener “Over”. It’s earlier material, particularly 'Kelly from Appliance, Darren textbook Embrace - simple, beautiful Watch the Stars" and the set closer Hayman, Hefner front man, and above all else, tear-jerkingly 'Sexy Boy', both taken from the 1998 took to the stage looking uplifting - “I’m just trying to feel one release 'Moon Safari' clearly showing last goodbye now that it’s over”. embarrassed.The first thing that the audience preferred these From here on they glide from the he said was “I’d like to chilled out classics to the prog rock most tranquil acoustic rock (“My apologise...” Obviously,I was of the 10,000 Hz Legend album. As Weakness is None of Your expecting the worst. Was this was the first night of their Business”) to the most rousing of the gig going to be British tour it might have been anthems (“All You Good Good expected that they would have cancelled? Had Hefner done People”) with awe-inspiring ease. shown signs of being nervous, this a Sneaker Pimps on us and “You’re Not Alone” is the kind of was not the case and the band all lost a member? Thankfully, song that can make boiling a kettle seemed relaxed throughout. no.All our wee little Darren seem like a joyous life-changing HEFNER Between songs, chat was kept to a had to apologise for was experience if played in tandem, and minimum as Air let the music do the “The Good Will Out” induces the that he’d lost his voice and talking, but what was said was witty kind of open-armed sing along that “it’s going to be shit”- and much appreciated by the crowd, Jon Bon Jovi would be proud of. Well that’s just great. particularly comments which It all threatens to go very badly emphasised their "sexy" French wrong when their cover of “3 is a A couple of tracks in and everyone accents "which you love so much". Magic Number” is unleashed upon (myself included) knew for a fact The band were able to weave a web us and then follow that with the dour that it most evidently was not of sound which encapsulated the kazzoo-laden “Hooligan”. But the “going to be shit”. The voice was audience and this was Embrace faithful’s spirits return as fine, and when it did go a bit funny, complemented throughout by a the liquid blues bass riff of “Save Me” the crowd shouted out magnificent light show which Darren’s frankly strange voice that the Dead Media tracks have climbs into an almighty blast of brass encouragements: “C’mon Darren!” perfectly captured the mood. This make Hefner work. Tonight, comedy value, in the sense that and distortion which sends the “You can do it Darren!” It was a bit combined to provide the effect that however, is different. As well as all Darren is really finding his feet in entire Guildhall into a moshing like anxious parents watching their the Guildhall was transformed for the old classics, Hefner gently the electronics department. It’s frenzy. After that, all that’s left is for kid’s first football match. Only ever ninety minutes from being the introduce us to some songs from electronica at it’s least pretentious- our Huddersfield heroes to return so slightly better. Seeing Hefner live cavernous school hall we all know it their new album, Dead Media. and it works. Don’t get me wrong to the stage to thank the crew and is a bit like seeing your as, into an intimate setting at which Darren even shuns his guitar and though, it’s not a complete change the crowd for their continued grandmother. It’s lovely and you the crowd listened intently to every moves onto the keyboards for a few in direction. Hefner’s songs are still support and the promise of a return know exactly what to expect. Or note emitted from the speakers. tracks- Everyone really is partaking as witty and heart wrenchingly next year - “you’re a mad lot down do you? Well, all of you Hefner fans Overall the gig was a triumph for in this moog revolution, eh? Most of beautiful as ever. Guitars do not here aren’t you?” out there will probably accept that quality music and the crowd left very feature as heavily, that’s all. Closer “Wonder” is as beautiful as it a lot of their stuff up until now happy having witnessed a rare event: All in all, the night is a huge success. is poignant. Embrace are the sounds, err, kind of similar. Darren, a great gig in Southampton. I'd advise The crowd was taken in right from “Wonder” - you should hate them, for one, is the first to admit that those who missed out to check out the start and the atmosphere was and many do, but they’ve stopped loads of his songs start with the the strong autumn schedule at the brilliant. A live experience I won’t taking themselves too seriously, and same chord sequences. Now, I’m Guildhall before we lose the only forget. the sooner more people begin not saying for a second that this is venue which can provide the town Emmanuelle Smith realising that then “it’s you, wonder a bad thing. My personal opinion is with big name acts on our doorstep. will save”. that it’s the lyrics of the songs and New tools... Chris Bienemann Paul Coltofeanu

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 Live... The Charlatans S this Tim finally broke his silence, and the string of beauties from ‘Wonderland’, “Thank you. This A MAN one’s called ‘Tellin’ Stories’.” It was clear at this point that most of the crowd were Charlatans heyday NEEDS TO kickbacks. Back to the newer stuff with ‘I Just Photos: Paul Cornwell Can’t Get Over Losing You’, which had a surprising amount of moshing. BE COLD This was followed by a truly glorious version of ‘A Man Needs To Be Told’ with Tim showing off his heartfelt falsetto some more. “Well that went better than last night anyway” Tim happily said to his sweaty and adoring masses. The reaction when the familiar intro to ‘One To Another’ started up was akin to the floor catching SIX fire. There was moshing three by quarters of the way to the back of the Guildhall (which, if you haven’t Po been there, is a very big room). Ro Whenever Tim wasn’t singing he’d 6/ wander to one of the corners of the stage and do a little wiggly Fo dance grinning and revelling in his of life. He really does have quite the tee stage presence. wh “This song is dedicated to all the the women” Tim said before the rest of rep the band started up ‘Impossible’. Ika During which Tim took harmonica tou duties to the audience’s cheers. Ne “Thank you.” By the end of of ‘Impossible’ the Guildhall was dry, pu even all of the cider was gone. Pissheads. Badly Drawn Boy, Tim Burgess isn’t, but he doesn’t need to make a lot of small talk, his songs and his continual grin said a lot. The fantastic, layered ‘Wake Up’ was next up, closely followed by The Charlatans - Blinding crowd pleaser and classic ‘North Country Boy’. Although popular THE CHARLATANS and dick all once you’ve heard their with the audience ‘NCB’ fully band, minus Tim, came back on to sublime to the, well old, The THE MUSIC music. From the moment they demonstrated just how much The the stage and started ‘Forever’. Charlatans ended their set with an Southampton Guildhall graced the stage they energised the Charlatans have come on from the After another couple of minutes, extended version of ‘Sproston whole room with their energetic, 16/10/01 rest of the rabble of those days. Tim decided to join the rest of the Green’.The song sees an extended rocking, wig-out presence. They “This is a new song it’s called group and finish the song. intro so Tim can show off his managed to achieve a reasonable ‘You’re So Pretty - We’re So Pretty’ The penultimate song was a cowbell talent again.The crowd are Opening band, The Music, are length set as well for such a fresh It goes out to all The Charlatans attracting quite a bit of new band and left to an unusual crew.” Tim spent most of the attention of late. With the amount of whistles and cheers for a duration of the song performing his recent release of their debut Tim (Burgess) diplayed support band. sleazy little wiggle dance and getting EP and a debut single that sold When the strains of the dubby the crowd’s hands up in the air. out within a week the Leeds his amazing versatility... instrumental from Wonderland, ‘The 1992’s ‘Weirdo’ was slotted in next based four-piece haven’t Bell and The Butterfly’ started the during which Tim displayed his “ by playing a cowbell. exactly achieved a lot on paper capacity crowd went nuts. The amazing versatility... by playing a yet. They have however been Charlatans filed on to the stage,Tim cowbell. At that point I came to the on a frantic bout of tours, doing in a big fluffy coat, and took to their conclusion that Tim Burgess contender for best song on so riled that there are” even a tour of the south and respective posts. They all stood appears to be a man who is very Wonderland. ‘And If I Fall’ which was numerous crowd surfers (a very supporting The Charlatans, there grinning like madmen until much happy with his life at the beautiful on the verge of being rare sight in the Guildhall).Tim left New Order, The Coral and their intro ended.Tim surveyed the moment. poignant had Tim being able to reach the stage fist aloft before the wig Oasis. scene and then they launched in to What better song to end the main the falsetto in the chorus. Indeed, we out finish of the song. The rest of There is a turning tide in British ‘Love Is The Key’. He then faltered set with than ‘How High’? None, just had to watch him, as none of us the band follow to a wall of music most clearly shown by The his way straight in to ‘Judas’, finding that’s what.And so they belted out could fucking sing it. However, it was keyboard and feedback. Music. It is time for young musicians it hard to hit the falsetto at the a cracking and euphoric version of still was a great song and Tim knew Rob Collins will be sadly missed to be upstarts again, The Music’s start. ‘Judas’ was positively oozing ‘How High’ to which everybody in it as he walked to the front of the but it is lucky for all of us that his lead singer and guitarist Robert love and sex and all things that the room sang along to.“Thank you stage, did a cocky little dance and untimely death didn’t signal the Harvey is quite keen to make life worth living. very much” was all we got as Tim grinned at the front row. demise of The Charlatans. If demonstrate this: “He [Noel The whole warm sexy vibe was turned and left the stage followed “Cheers. Southampton rules.” A anything, they are at the strongest Gallagher] should be honoured to continued with ‘Is It In You?’ by the rest of the band. commonplace thing for a front man now that they’ve ever been. have us [on tour]”. throughout which Mr Burgess After the mandatory couple of to say, but you could see that Tim Fantastic. They might not have achieved a lot ditched his coat, grinned and minutes of whistles and cheers the meant it. He was loving it. From the Paul Cornwell on paper yet but that counts for writhed against his micstand. After PAGE 8 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 21

22nd NOVEMBER 2001 s Six by Seven Live... the atmosphere up a level. John Peel show and the “New Hailing from London, Ikara Colt’s Bands” tent at Glastonbury. Both sound has the intensity of early art- said records showcased a heady school punk although the mixture of squalling guitars and appearance of lead singer Paul keyboards droning out a thick smog

Taking the stage to a loud “cheer from a generously sized audience, Six by Seven seemingly had little to prove.

Ikara Colt Resende is closer to that of Jarvis of fuzz topped by Chris Olley’s Cocker. Certainly Resende’s extraordinarily versatile voice.” SIX BY SEVEN supported idiosyncratic frugging about the Indeed, tonight’s renditions of by IKARA COLT stage recalled a recent Pulp ‘European Me’ and ‘Oh! Dear’ both performance on BBC2’s ‘Later...’ in taken from their 1998 debut ‘The Portsmouth Wedgewood which the hallowed Cocker Things we Make’ recalled the days Rooms apparently lost control of his when Six by Seven appeared from 6/11/2001 muscles. Ultimately, Ikara Colt are a nowhere as a visceral addition to the more fun version of the Fall- vibrant post-Britpop scene alongside Following on from the first band although if they manage to stick the likes of Mogwai. But like those

of the night (a group of local around for the next twenty years giants of instrumental rock Six by Houghton Photos:Tim teenage guitar pummellers don’t be surprised if they end up Seven have hit a rut.A creative dead- whose name still won’t stick in with a huge cult following. end means that while new songs the memory despite having it Taking the stage to a loud such as current single ‘So Close’ have repeated to me five times), cheer from a generously sized all the winning elements -discordant Ikara Colt didn’t exactly have a Portsmouth audience Six by Seven repetition and obligatory tough act to follow. seemingly had little to prove. Two crescendos- Six by Seven just aren’t Nevertheless, a short sweet set excellent albums in the last four as interesting as they used to be. of small but perfectly formed years have elevated the band to the Six by Seven punk songs succeeded in taking position of mainstay in both the Tim Houghton

The h an ton ded his are

”ven very left wig t of of

sed his the If gest een.

well

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22nd NOVEMBER 2001 dance ugly ADAM GROOVERIDER F ParadiseParadise duckling NY2 ClubClub

It was totally unexpected and if In its brief, though totally you weren’t there (shame!) it enriched, life The Paradise may seem unbelievable. The Club played host to some promise of Adam F at NY2 supreme music sessions. Fabio seemed but a dream, I went set the scene just days before prepared to be let down...How and now it was the turn of CCRRIITTIICCAALL wrong could I be? fellow drum and bass connoisseur Grooverider. BBRREEAAKKSS First, Prime Cuts (Scratch Perverts) have to be rated for Resident Engineer kicked off the their set, a perfect equlibrium of night. His perfectly layered set Critical Breaks is a fresh little night drum n bass and hip-hop.. Not too verged on some slightly darker d&b held at Centro’s every Thursday. hectic, not too hardcore, but a sounds. Zinc’s “Casino Royal” perfect preceed to Adam F. The came as a treat so convincing the The surroundings are most pleasant and the sounds entirely superlative. UGLY DUCKLING doesn’t take itself so seriously. crowd was certainly hyped up for crowd to bid final farewell to the Joiners Arms It’s those little things, like getting the star of the night, there was a summer. Nu skool and progressive sounds 31/10/01 a couple of locals up on certain buzz in the air as things The Engineer, a growing force appeared like they could only get within the South Coast frat, worked are the definate flavour, all served up by Southampton based residents This was a truly phat night, stage to sample the home-grown better..and they did. Normally it well and left the floor suitably Repax-One, Eoin, LazyB, To m even for a Wednesday. The talent. Or Einstein’s gold rope. associated with drum n bass, charged for the arrival of Smelly, Frags. previous Sunday night I had Perhaps this needs some Adam F has recently turned his Grooverider. D That’s as well as generous helpings been in London for DJ explaining. Einstein is the skinny hand to hip-hop, collaborating with of guest DJs. Shadow and the Cut white guy, in London he had the likes of Redman and MOP. Chemist’ product placement been wearing the doogie gold the engineer C A recent set from Moonrider was tour.The Ugly Duckling crew chain.That was actually how we The crowd consisting of drum n with wrec S first class and the electrofunk were there and they didn’t recognised him. Needless to say bass and hip-hop followers may 2 breakdown from look too impressed by the I was feeling a little snubbed by have been hard to please, but were Superdensechild should not have lack of atmosphere. But here its absence in Southampton pre- totally overwhelmed. As the sets U been missed!! in Southampton our crowd show. glided between drum n bass and th of B-Boys and Girls busted it hip-hop the momentum was never m The vibe will allow you to get on out with a whole lot more A couple of tunes in the music lost. The place exploded to tunes down on the floor though is equally energy and enthusiasm than stopped and out came, to much such as ‘Stand Clear’ and ‘Smash B accepting of those who choose to the too-cool-to-dance aplomb, the golden cable. Sumthin.’ Satisfied with that the U kick back on the leather sofas and London crew. Gimmicky, maybe. Funny, man rounded of his set with some of enjoy. definitely. It shows how much spectacular drum n bass that he is co It always surprises me that such the Duckling has it’s tongue so renowned for. The night was an good acts play the Joiners. No dis planted firmly in its cheek. Not certainly another success for U intended but The Joiners is, in the that comic-relief was needed. Squeeze. The promise was always heart of St Marys, a bit on the Put simply they really were there, for it to be in fact fulfilled Taking to the decks, Grooverider T scummy side. This, of course, damn good. deserves enuff respect. admitted evidence of his somewhat o doesn’t matter when everyone, exalted status. A main player in the St from the crowd to the act, is bang There is a profound lack of big, Satwant Phander scene since its beginnings, he mixed ti up for a party.The turntablism of regular Hip Hop nights in choice tunes with unprecedented ha Defikew and the lyrycism of the Southampton, so perhaps the fluency.Tracks from Roni Size and th crowd were feeling a little Krust were in the listing as Dark Craftsmen warmed up the grooverider di freezing evening. Young Einstein, starved of live acts. But he Grooverider soaked up the thanks. Eddy C and Dizzy were already in crowd moved, and that’s the evidence, selling T-shirts and most important point. The music was spot on it was just a albums and not getting shame the attitude couldn’t be recognised by most of the Much of the material came from matched. Musically the man can’t be w people. But when they came on it the new album ‘Journey to faulted but fact is A all changed, these guys know how Anywhere’. Having already heard in he clearly believes his own to work the crowd. the album it was safely put into superdensechild C context by the performance. It hype. Ju Einstein, the skinny, track suited had a sense of humour which D DJ served up cut after cut of was refreshing rather than A load of records and some table an With an extended licence, critical heavy, funky beats followed by a corny, jibing at itself while taking skills do not merit such an th breaks is great for a Thursday night, course of tight, slick scratching. a dig at the image conscious incredible neglect of social a perfect warm-up to the weekend. Their sound is similar to Jurassic rude boys. This kind of hip hop etiquette and manners. Sa 5’s,but without the harmony.That doesn’t drink Chrystal. ve friendly, leave-the-attitude-at- qu Charlotte Devalda home brand of rhyming that Amos Usiskin Charlotte Devalda

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that he’s been residing in the New York borough of Brooklyn for a long while now. Ainsley’s poems were an eclectic mix.Tales of love lost blurred with tales of the honey pot “between your knees”. One poem was dished out about the response he had to give when an ex asked what sex is like for the man.

Ainsley is a very clever, politicised and reactionary person. He told the tale of a black New Yorker who was shot 41 times by off duty police officers when he reached for his wallet.All four of the police officers got off without charge. He positively ranted about the state of politics in the US “do you think Bush has ever been to a poetry reading?” and he gave the audience ight a lot to go away with. . The evening was punctuated with sant some excellent banter between tive. Ainsley and the crowd. When Ainsley asked if anyone smoked nds CONGRESS weed and surprise, got a ved bumbaklaat resounding cheer, then went on to ents say it’s bad for your memory. One om ...... member of the crowds response? DISMISSED? “What was the question again?” ings genius, it even threw Ainsley off HIP HOP SLAM POETRY from serious to sublime.Talk old the track for a while. Ballroom and Gordon’s being left African word taken to Jamaica to CONGRESS The Talking Heads was virtually empty. Altogether there ward off the evil spirits, Student’s Union 24/10/01 The noise from the bar was unk could only have been at most 300- bumbaklaat, abounded with 27/10/01 distracting him, and us, a bit but rom 350 people in the building, and the Oseygefo getting the room to chant that was unstoppable. If they could have bar had the feeling of a crap NYC hip hop slam poetry it before smiling. We were warned U.N.K.L.E, live at the University have got in the room to hear Monday night rather than the was always going to be an not to say it in Jamaica now though this must be some kind of Ainsley they would have been feeling of anticipation before one interesting night out in as it is highly offensive and quiet. Also just short of the end of mistake? of the world’s top D.J setups took on Southampton and the fact Ainsley’s last poem a few people ually to the stage. The D.Js from Strut “you’ll get thrown in jail for a But no, on the 27th of October walked off which threw him a bit. e to records played a decent set of that is was a Squeeze 18 week”. U.N.K.L.E along with a whole host He even thought about ending it and chilled out funk and soul, but sadly night guaranteed the of other artists and record there before the crowd urged him there was no one listening quality. After Oseygefo left the stage to companies, such as Jon Cutler to come back. He so enjoyed the great applause Jah Strangepork and and Strut records played at the crowd on the whole though, that The Bar filled out when U.N.K.L.E me mate Dave took to the stage to University. Billed as NYC’s finest poets he came back on and freestyled took to the stage but supplying freestyle lyrics and the supply an interval of beats and old for a bit and then did one more. unfortunately there was no D.J time soulful tunes for twenty This had the possibility of being freshest rhymes known to man, It shadow- but this didn’t seem to minutes. By the time that unofficial one of the best nights the was heartening to find that the Ainsley seemed to thrive off of the bother the crowd that had compare and Norwich based Students Union had seen in a long Heads was packed out by the time evening, investing his all in it.As to gathered.The music was excellent, comedian Jason Raper came to the time, and could (and still may) your intrepid reviewer arrived at why he toured his poetry and was with a very upbeat and stage for a bit of poetry there wasn’t have become a regular feature at 8.45. so committed to it Ainsley told heavy feel, and smatterings of D.J a space on the floor to sit and the the Union. Sadly though, the night The EDGE shadow such as ‘Organ Donor’ room was starting to get damn hot. didn’t live up to it’s potential. It was an early start with self and ‘Stem’, which went down proclaimed dub poet Oseygefo on “I just go around with my well with the crowd. Jason dished out the sour to The music couldn’t be stage just after 8.30.A Jamaican man poetry so that some people Oseygefo and Ainsley’s sweet. No faulted with a rich accent and endearing will think, ‘I won’t be another It’s hard to think why this event attitude Oseygefo had the crowd in tales of Jamaica, NYC, sweet cog in the machine.’ I just had such trouble in attracting romances or hot sex were told but with live bands such as Organic awe with his rapid and fluent poetry. want people to go out and people through the doors, and instead a sobering ‘Trainspotting’ Audio and Reel People playing With his accent and the speed of want more information.” with the success of Squeeze there style barrage of commentaries on in the West Refectory, delivery some of what he was saying definitely seems to be a market daytime TV (‘Trisha’ and ‘This Circulation (Paul Davis) and was quite indecipherable but he Apart from the slightly misguided for this kind of event in Morning’ and other wholly British Justin Drake in the Ballroom, backed it all up with wild billing as ‘hip hop jazz fusion poets’ Southampton. things. It was brilliant and not unlike Danny Macmillan in Gordon’s gesticulations. Several times he (there wasn’t really any hip hop or the bit of ginger you eat between and unbelievably U.N.K.L.E in reassured the crowd that it was a any jazz) it was a fantastic evening. tical Congress may be consigned to the bits of sushi to cleanse your palette. the Union Bar. performance and not to solely A rare treat anywhere on the ght, history books...... IT’S UP TO concentrate on his prose. south coast let alone right on our end. YOU!! Next up was the evenings main Sadly though, the turnout was low, very doorstep. event, Ainsley Burrows. Originally very low and this lead to a very Oseygefo rattled off poems, one a hailing from Jamaica but without quiet atmosphere, with the homage to Mr Bob Marley himself, Simon Foster interspersed with banter that ranged Oseygefo’s accent due to the fact Paul Cornwell

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party K of D-O-R-S-E-T !! ? Bournemouth,

that’s just left of Southampton

Casa Urban (St Peters Road, Bournemouth Square The Opera house is probably the Bournemouth) south coasts best known club with (towards Richmond Hill) Bournemouth’s premier Drum and Friday’s (Slinky) being its most Bass night used to be based at ‘The popular night. Owner, Richard Carr Opera House’ in Slinky’s second Casa is part of a nation-wide chain bought the club (Formerly known room. However, the mushrooming of stylishly furnished bars who’s as the Academy) in early 1997 and success of the night eventually target market (like Bliss) is aimed at invested several million in its made it necessary for the well dressed and good looking 18- refurbishment and promotion. Cocoshebeen crew to find a new 25 year olds who seem to be in Along with the big name DJs came venue for the night. plentiful abundance in crowds from all around the country Beats on offer include Jungle and Bournemouth. Like it’s clientele, to experience the slinky Jump up but it is the harder Casa looks sleek and sexy and it’s phenomenon and the south coast’s techstep sound that is most often prices, whilst high, are not as high as very own super-club was born. played to an enthusiastic and ‘up for those at Bliss. However, unlike Bliss, With a monthly residency from it’ crowd. Even if you only remotely Casa rarely has live DJs with the Judge Jules and regular appearances like Drum and Bass then you really Rockin’ it in Bournemouth music featured generally leaning from the likes of Scott Bond, John want to be checking out this night. (or mad enough to wait till 6:30 am toward ‘CafÈ Del Mar’ and ‘Hed Kelly and the and the absolutely Recent nights featuring J-Majik, With the opening of bars and for the first train back to Kandi’ compilations (i.e. wicked Daniel Bailey Slinky Andy C and DJ Die have just been clubs such as the excellent Southampton), the EDGE has Downtempo and Disco House). provides a selection of house music the bollocks. Really, you’ve got to Orange Rooms, Bar Centro compiled a guide of the best that Open every day till 11. to suit all tastes. There is a second try this out.... It’s that good. and the Paradise Club there Bournemouth has to offer... room that plays a selection of US can be no question that the The Moon in the Square House and Garage and overall night life in Southampton has Bournemouth Bars Bournemouth Square capacity is over 3000. Consortium been steadily improving over (near Debenhams) The Consortium (Near the last few years (well, at least Bliss Cheeky Little Monkey Bournemouth Square) until Paradise closed its The Moon in the Square is a The Showbar (At the doors!!) However, a mere 30 St Peters Road, Weatherspoons pub that is an oasis front of Bournemouth Bournemouth may be JAM miles separates Southampton Bournemouth (Near predominantly a house music Fab of cheap alcohol in a town whose Pier) from the more clubbing- Elements & Urban drinks prices are otherwise pretty orientated town but there is a (Fa orientated seaside town of nightclubs) steep. The atmosphere is relaxed strong breakbeat and hip hop Bournemouth. with two floors (one of which is ‘No Trance Please... We’re following that seems to have grown If y British!’...When it comes to Hard After breathing new life into completely no smoking) and a over the last few years. This must new House, there can be little doubt When it comes to it’s Bournemouth’s club scene Slinky rooftop terrace. Amongst the surely be due to venues like the wil that this is the south coast’s leading multitude of clubs, bars and expanded into bars, pouring over a town’s pubs,‘The Moon’ is the most Consortium (which it has to be said you club night by miles. Opening on the million quid into the construction centrally located and is usually the is more like a bar than a club - at com events it has to be said that first and last Friday of every month, of Bliss, which opened in December busiest. As with all Weatherspoons least in appearance) with there no it really kicks ‘Cheeky Little Monkey’ presents 2000. A ‘dress to impress’ dress pubs there is no music. Capacity is consistently excellent nights. Big Southampton’s ass. both big name DJs like Lisa Lashes, code combined with stylish glass over 1000. names in breakbeat like Adam Fab Fergie, Super Fast Oz, and Madame flooring and marbleised fittings Freehand and Rennie Pilgrem have com Friction alongside local talent like Whether it be House, Garage, Hip keeps the number of pikeys low but recently played nights here and the of Jody Osman. Filled with energy and Hop, Breakbeat or Drum & Bass ... unfortunately is also keeps the atmosphere has been absolutely sev Bournemouth Clubs (it has to be said) some of The choice of night and venues is price of drinks high. Featuring awsome. Whilst there is breakbeat the Bournemouth’s fittest women, this pretty damn good. nightly DJs and live music on here every Saturday, there are also mo Slinky is definitely one of the best nights in Saturdays, Bliss boasts a capacity of Hip Hop and Electro nights during mix Bournemouth. Check it out soon! So for those of you who are up for nearly 1000 and opens 11 till 11 Opera House the week (days vary so look out for eve it and lucky enough to own a car seven days a week. (Next to the Boscombe’s flyers). exc Sovereign Centre) Cocoshebeen James Hayward how the Bro Laz latt blo wit psy Psy To celebrate the release of Aphex Twin’s fantastic Drukgs LP, we have a very exciting competition To in store for you. First prize is an Aphex T-Shirt and an album sampler, and second prize is an com sta album sampler. All you have to do is answer this simple question: Which of these is a famous stra

Aphex track? is it... a) WindowCleaner or 7/1 b) WindowLicker e-mail answers to [email protected] CL

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22nd NOVEMEBR 2001 dance

stirring new remixes of N-Trance, albums Darude’s ‘Sandstorm’, ‘Fire Wire’ and the storming ‘The Greatest DJ’ from Lexy & K-Paul. The Annual DMX 2002 really does have something for The Great Depressio everyone while at the same time (Def Jam) bringing back top memories of nights spent. “Rhymes, barks, growls and beats. ad, And the occasional gun shot for Good stuff again effect. So nothing new then. Darker, 7/10 AC sure, different anecdotal life stories, and of course. But still sticking to the The tried and tested formula. This is ond DMX’s fourth album release ming singles following three highly successful ally productions on the Def Jam label. the TAKE AWAY Ja’s enjoyment of life, given his These coupled with dynamite live new Missy ‘Misdemeanor’Elliot. booming success in little or no time performances would lead us to the Electra Entertainment Group at all. Hey, quite frankly if the man impression that this is a man who and feels happy, then it’s always nice to works hard on his music. His efforts der This certainly is not one of the hear some gratitude. Just don’t are not always solo either, working ften highlights of Missy’s album. If she show it off too much! with the likes of Redman, Ice Cube, for really had to attempt a slow, Method Man and LL Cool J. This tely smoochy track, no doubt, to Personally I would’nt buy it but fans release feature the vocal talents of eally collaborate with Genuwine was the will enjoy and Ja Rule continues to Mashonda, Stephanie Mills, and ght. best choice.This however does still be an enjoyable and highly listenable Biggie’s widow, Faith Evans. ajik, not redeem it. It is unexpected of rapper. een Missy, especially after the fantastic Plenty of hard, energetic beats and t to comeback with tracks such as ‘One 2.5/5 PC aggressive rhymes. Similar to Busta Minute Man.’ Hip-hop is her forte, Rhymes’ ‘Extinction Level Event’ its what suits her style. Unless you with the doomsday atmosphere. really love the slow ones to get ur But this is the point. DMX has freak on, this will disappoint. ear already released three albums like THEY DON’T KNOW So Solid Crew. this one. This release is no 2/5 SP exception, providing genuine Independendiente be JAMES LAVELLE CRAIG RICHARDS gangster rap. It just sounds a bit usic FabricLive. 01 Fabric01 tired now, especially as Biggie, Nas, JA RULE s a (Fabric Records Ltd) (Fabric Records Ltd) and NWA all did it better and Livin It Up hop earlier. So a new album in the Def Jam Recordings own If you do not want to partake in the ‘Fabric 01’ is expertly mixed by ghetto cannon from DMX, but must new coming music wave, this album resident Dj Craig Richards and nothing new. Unlike DMX this guy makes me the will definitely not be for you. But if reflects the inimitable 6/10 AU laugh, somehow entertaining me said you are looking for a good tech/dark/deep house sound that despite the fact that it might be - at compilation to get high to, there’s comes straight from the famous THE ANNUAL 2002 completely unintentional.Appearing ere no dodging it. vibrating dancefloor. It opens with Ministry of Sound on the J-Lo single “I’m Real” did a Big the infectious sounds of Gemini’s lot of favours for Ja Rule. It dam FabricLive is a really good ‘At That Café’ and is punctuated by November brings us the latest essentially opened him up to the have compilation mixing different kinds distinctive tunes such as Dub Tech offering from the good people at mainstream British audience who the of influences, from the revisited Soundsystem’s haunting ‘Sugar the Ministry of Sound. The Annual maybe had’nt heard of him before. tely seventies soul of the first tracks, to Rush’ and the excellent ‘Took From 2002 follows the well-known Therefore from the onset, this will beat the strong actual elektro of the Me’ from co-resident Terry Francis. format of a blend of light club and sell plenty. ‘They Don’t Know,’ I don’t know also most prestigious London clubs.The Richards progresses on a unique pop tunes smoothly mixed. This why it is they bothered.To be quite ring mixes are not always the best I have electronic journey filled with compilation, however, is a The first striking thing about Ja Rule blunt every track sounds the same, for ever heard but the play list is warped frequencies, funk, particularly good value with 62 is that he does sound very similar with the replacement of lame lyrics excellent. James Lavelle does know meaningful melodies and prickly tracks of commercial house, trance to DMX although I believe Ja Rule is with even lamer ones. Notable, but ard how to rise a good ambience with bass-lines .The man himself best and UK garage with on 3 cds! thankfully coherent whereas DMX not necessarily good, is ‘Ride Wid the original house music of Kahuna describes this mix when he says it is not. Us,’ which contains a sample of the Brothers (‘Mindset 2 cycle’) or Pete The house disc is, at times, Nightrider theme tune. It could Lazonbyto name but a few. The “takes inspiration from the predictable and only really saved by Secondly, he has actually concocted actually almost be good but ruined latter were preceded by the mind trippy innocence of the Roger Sanchez’s ‘Another Chance,’ another catchy tune (to my pleasant with the terrible 2-step beat and blowing keyboard of DJ Shadow dancefloor at 6am. It is made Par-T-One’s ‘I’m So Crazy’ and X- surprise) which blends almost techno vibe present in almost every with ‘Organ Donor’ and the up of personal favourites, past press 2’s ‘Smoke Machine.’ oriental sounding R’n’B melodies track on the album.The mc-ing and psychedelic melody of the and present. It gives an insight with a distinctive rap style. music is incongrous.This is shameful Psychonauts (‘Circles’). into what I do but more The UK garage cd is quite for MC Romeo who is in fact a very importantly into the sound of commercial, but none the worse for If there is a flaw with all of this guy’s talented MC.The album doesn’t do To sum up, FabricLive is a good Fabric on a Sunday morning.” that with Ayia Napa favourites from work, it’s once again his lyrics. anything different, interesting or compilation that you must have for So Solid Crew, K2 Family, Pied Piper Completely uneducated riff-raff but catchy. ‘In my Life,’ is almost worth starting a party. Things will be more Having been there he’s not wrong, and Todd Terry. One standout tune if this is forgiven, “Livin It Up” is a listening to, but this is only the straight afterwards. One warning, though, you really is ‘Starchaser’ from Jambe Myth. decent effort. Fans will be excited melodious chorus, back to the mc- should listen to this album as an about the B-Side almost bonus ing, ‘So Solid aren’t going nowhere,’ 7/10 entire work as just taking the odd The pick of the bunch, however, is track and this should add to it’s seems to sum it all up. CLB track in isolation robs it of the trance disc that has a masterful appeal. “Livin It Up” is an almost something special. 8/10 AC set on it featuring Paul van Dyk, inevitably feel-good track reflecting 2/5 SP

PAGE 13 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 26

22nd NOVEMBER 2001 Interview...

AP RE Dire Sta Bra Fish

It’s mo ove insa scr BoyZ In the Hood Fra Ho his the originality which defines the with brother Chris. Inspired by the home and fucked around with [the With their latest album “That’s one thing we’re always Ap work on Cold House and which low-fi ramblings of early Pavement tracks] a bit.We’re really influenced Cold House having just gonna keep, guitars. I love the sound opu ought to propel Hood from minor and the like, Hood formed because, by some of the electronica around been released through of the guitar.” see indie recognition to genre-defining as Richard puts it, “[those bands] at the moment like Boards of And as far as the vocals are the consistently great greatness. Canada and Autechre” concerned there’s a new addition to the Domino records, Hood Not that it An influence that also the Hood armory - rap.That’s right, Co will of course. While The Wire seems to have been have found themselves on two of the new tracks - ‘They jun the mainstream taken up by Radiohead with something of a removed all trace that anything had Am national music press [music magazine] of late. But while Yorke winning formula. They ever happened here’ and ‘With hist are scraping out their and his cronies churned manage to combine the “ is too far up its Branches Bare’, dose and why? from cou toenails for new dross out second rate the critically acclaimed hip-hoppers was post-rock mainstay of to plug (Andrew WK pastiches of own arse. cLOUDDEAD provide a rappier Ha anyone?), alternative Squarepusher with an intricate guitar based sharp stream of consciousness over Wi magazines such as The unbearable warble melodies and off-balance Hood’s electronic experiments. But rep Wire have got completely the showed that you didn’t have go to a dubbed on top for ‘Kid A’, Hood rhythms with the apparently the rappers made the a wrong end of the stick - according special studio or be a ‘proper’ ”draw on their new found influence first move. “They wrote to us and typ burgeoning independent to Richard. musician to make something in the same way that Pavement sent us some records of theirs and film electronica scene. The “The Wire really annoys worthwhile”. But 6 years on from took The Fall and twisted them we just thought it was amazing.We rum me. It’s too far up its own arse.You their first single Hood have into something new. “We were Edge were lucky enough were putting our record together bod get the sense that when they review successfully managed to take things really scared when we first heard to catch up with the man at the time so we just sent them a Co stuff they all sit round going ‘Do we up a notch. At least half of the Kid A because we had just started in the Hood, Richard CDR of material and they did wit like this? Is this cool enough to go in tracks feature programmed drums work on our own ideas at the time exactly what we wanted them to Adams for a chat. Cold House, fro the magazine?’” or samples, and the incorporation but actually the music is really do.” their third album, is somewhat of a wh Anyhow, the lack of quality of elements such as those found on different - if people want to use Together with Fridge, Hood have departure from the gentle ard music magazines is certainly the average Warp Records release that as an easy reference then fine made one of the two great albums ambience of previous efforts Rustic why something which keeps Hood marks a definite shift in emphasis but we didn’t hear that record and of the year to come out of the Houses, Forlorn Valleys and Cycle of gon unjustifiably out of the limelight, for the siblings. “Chris has always think to ourselves ‘shit, that’s what stable formerly known as Days and Seasons. Although both do despite the sparkling originality of done electronic music as well [as we should be doing’ ‘cos we were post-rock. good albums of guitar and piano the latest album. Hood is centered Hood] so rather than get people to already doing it”. So can Richard Co driven soundscapes, neither showed around the duo of Richard together play drums we did the beats at ever see a future without guitars? Tim Houghton rele PAGE 14 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 27

22nd NOVEMBER 2001 FILM APOCALYPSE NOW?

HARRY POTTER buildings including parts of Oxford and AND THE Cambridge (but funnily enough, not PHILOSOPHERS STONE Southampton) universities have been amalgamated to create the overall Director: Chris Columbus look, and it really comes together. Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Computer graphics have been used Emma Watson sparingly, but where they have been used they are incredibly effective; the Finally, the moment has arrived. game of Quidditch really does have a Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling’s dizzying feel. The story remains true legendary creation has finally just a work in progress. Desperate scene. It’s about the two sides of to the book throughout, without APOCALYPSE NOW arrived on the silver screen. And to make back the cost of humanity: the one who loves and needing to stick slavishly to its REDUX the big question has to be is all production Coppola and co-editor the one who kills.” confines. The script is lively, even if it Director: Francis Ford Coppola the hype justified? There cannot Walter Murch forced themselves Other extras include doesn’t quite capture the fine sense of Starring: Martin Sheen, Marlon have been a film in living memory that into the cutting of key scenes in include the reappearance of the humour that pervades the book. Brando, Robert Duvall, Laurence has been more eagerly anticipated by order to keep the running time now stranded Playboy playmates As for the cast? Well Daniel Radcliffe Fishbourne, Dennis Hopper kids, grannies and 21 year old students below two-and-a-half hours. What who appear in an earlier scene in was born to play Harry, and I for one alike, and this has not gone unnoticed originated as an exercise in “unseen which they attempt to boost the wouldn’t be surprised if that scar was It’s impossible to sit through this by the Hollywood publicity machine. footage” DVD marketing turned warriors’ morales, and further real. Emma Watson strikes just the monster of a film without feeling an Teaser trailers have been running all out as a complete overhaul of the scenes featuring Robert Duvall’s right balance between unbearably overwhelming sense of awe. The summer, posters are plastered on original movie. demented surf-mad Colonel prissy and endearingly honest as insanity that literally oozes from the every billboard in sight and there The most noticeable Kilgore. However, despite extra Hermione. However,the real treat for screen with every shot is what got cannot have a newspaper in the addition amidst the 49-minutes scenes featuring Brando’s wild man me was Rupert Grint as Ron, Harry’s Francis Ford Coppola blacklisted by country that hasn’t had young Master d worth of extra footage, and Kurtz, the famed 45-minute best buddy. He has the resigned Hollywood and effectively ruined Radcliffe splattered across a full colour certainly the most likely to raise the monologue spoken to the camera - expression of someone who just his career as a filmmaker. supplement. interest of die hard fans, is the much of it improvised by Brando knows that trouble will find him, and ways Apocalypse Now was his magnum But let’s just ignore all that inclusion of the mythical French himself - has not been added. being friends with Harry clearly und opus the ilk of which will never be for a moment. Pretend you’ve never plantation scene. Having just “We were in the jungle, doesn’t help. seen again. heard of Harry Potter. Imagine that suffered the death of ‘Mr Clean’ there were too many of us, we had It is true of all the main players that are In 1976, hot off the back of you’re not one of those people who’ve (Laurence Fishbourne) the crew access to too much money, too they fit their roles perfectly. Who else n to the first two Godfather films, read all four books and is prepared to land at a decaying French habitation. much equipment, and little by little but Robbie Coltrane could possibly fill ght, Coppola set off to the Philippine trample small children to get to the Here ‘Clean’ is buried before the we went insane” Coppola later the giant shoes of Hagrid, Hogwart’s hey jungle to restage the madness of imminent fifth. Take an objective look politics of the war are dissected said of the filming. Suffice to say, a friendly groundsman? Alan Rickman’s had America’s blackest smear on at the film itself, and if you do, you over dinner, following which Sheen full discourse on the beauty of Snape is criminally underused as the With history - Vietnam. During the cannot help but enjoy it. The film disappears off to bed with actress Apocalypse Now is something that potions teacher with an intense dislike rom course of the ensuing years, filming opens, as does the book, with a Aurore ClÈment’s Roxanne. In the would take up almost as many of Harry. His sneer has only ever been ers was hit by a number of setbacks. flashback to Harry’s early life, and his original ClÈment’s entire part was pages as a full examination of the bettered by Jon Voight in Anaconda. pier Harvey Keitel, the original Captain delivery to his foul aunt and uncle axed, something which disappointed pointlessness of the Vietnam War. These ideal castings are marred over Willard was fired, his alcoholic following the untimely death of his both herself and Sheen.As ClÈment Tim Houghton though by some mistakes with the But replacement Martin Sheen suffered parents at the hands of the dark puts it, “it’s a beautifully erotic lesser cast members. For example,the the a heart attack and the annual wizard Volde-mort. This swiftly Gryffindor prefect is as wooden as the and typhoon threatened to leave the progresses to his horrible life with the panelled corridors through which he and film half finished. On top of that Dursleys, and his salvation in the form leads his charges, and Ron’s older We rumours abounded of actual dead of an invitation to join Hogwart’s ther LOCAL CINEMAS brothers, so lively and funny in the bodies being used in the shoot. School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. book, are a disappointment. But then, m a Coppola rescued the filming only Harbour Lights Picture UGC The scenes surrounding his gradual how easy is it to find ginger twins? did with the help of millions of dollars House 4 Ocean Way, Ocean Village realisation that everything that he had Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s to from his own bank account and, Ocean Village Southampton S014 believed to be true about himself is in Stone is not a film that will test your when that was done set out on an Southampton S014 Tel:0870555132 fact all lies, are magnificently handled. intellect or force you to confront your have arduous 18 months of editing. So Film Info: 023 80234234 You feel your own spirits lift as Harry inner demons. It won’t throw body ums why, over two decades later has he The Odeon gets on the train to Hogwarts, to what parts at the screen or give you the gone back to the editing room to The Phoenix (films every Leisure World can only be a better life. spectacular explosions.What it will do as do it all over again? Wednesday at Boldrewood) Southampton S015 The Hogwarts grounds and building is remind us all how films are supposed Part of the answer lies in Film Info: [email protected] Tel:08705050007 really are unbelievable in their Gothic to be made. And up the ante for Lord Coppola’s own claim upon the splendour. Shots of many historical of the Rings. Lauren Brash ton release of the original that it was PAGE 15 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 28

22nd NOVEMBER 2001 FILM L

THE OTHERS it has a good cast and it will make Director:Alejandro Amenabar, you jump.The twist you may or may Starring; Nicole Kidman, Christopher not be able to work out (depending Eccleston, Fionnula Flanagan, Elaine on whether you’re concentrating on Cassidy, Eric Sykes. scaring yourself or being a film buff), but I think the film is more enjoyable Your viewing of The Others will if you keep yourself guessing... probably depend on who you go Nina Dubravec to see it with.The fact that my friends scream whenever the THE MAN WHO WASN’T lights are out didn’t exactly THERE help. Coming home running Director: Joel Coen and screaming because the Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Francis trees were making shadows McDormand, Scarlett Johansson made us extremely paranoid and I had to check under my ‘The Man Who Wasn’t There’ is bed, behind the curtains, etc. an inimitable Coen brothers hundreds of time before going classic. Who else but them to bed. But honestly, it was all would follow last year’s warm their fault! hearted bungling Odyssey The Others is basically “O Brother Where Art Thou” about a woman, Grace (Nicole with this altogether more Kidman), who lives in a intriguing affair,set in California unnecessarily huge house with her 1949 and shot entirely in black Pictures - two children who are and white. The man to which title Top left: Graduating photosensitive, and therefore the refers is in fact the hero of our Jon Criag, from the Student Handbook from High School in whole house must be kept entirely story’ Ed Crane (Thornton), a quiet JO Dan Clowes’“Ghost in the dark, and lit only by understated barber who in his own Lo World” comic. words “doesn’t talk much, just cuts Bottom :The candlelight. Since it is World War 2 jou same scene in she is more or less completely the hair.” In a dry and observant Re the new film isolated, on the island of Jersey, narration, Crane describes how his of Right:Advertising whilst waiting for her apparently wife, Doris (McDormand) is having th poster for the film dead husband (Chris Eccleston) to an affair.But rather than get angry,Ed W come back from battle. Enter the has a more subtle and effective ed freaky servants who come from method to settle the score. co nowhere to help her look after the The plot takes quite a few be GHOST WORLD was one of my favourite artists.And cool teenagers. Enid, especially, is a house and her children. This is twists and turns of varying St Director:Terry Zwigoff whilst I wanted people to know bit of a counter-culture rebel- or, as around the time that she starts predictibilty and takes the illu Written by: Dan Clowes and Terry about it (thus forcing all my friends she likes people to think- an “old hearing spooky cries, talking, doors opportunity to introduce a number lin Zwigoff to read it), I didn’t really want to skool punk”. Rebecca has less of a shutting and the piano being played of unbalanced characters, most of Starring: Thora Birch, Scarlett share my find with the masses. role in the film than in the comic, so by an invisible person. The servants notably the excellently played lawyer Un Johansson, Brad Renfro, Illeana Anyway, all of this was a few years Enid is much more central a start acting more and more Freddy Riedenschneider (Tony Douglas and Steve Buscemi ago, and I sort of forgot about it character. strangely and even her daughter, Shalhoub), brought in to defend Jon until quite recently, when I heard A typical teenage prank which claims to see strangers, who want Doris on a trumped up murder 19 Being a comic book geek is a the film was coming out. My initial involves answering an ad in the the house to themselves. Grace no charge. Imagine my horror, however, Br lot like being a music geek.We reaction was that of excitedness. I paper leads to the girls meeting longer knows what to believe and when my friend returned from the ed share the same obsession with informed everyone I knew that they Seymour (Steve Buscemi). Though starts fearing for her sanity,and what toilets halfway through this movie Du finding hard to find copies of HAD to see it, before I’d even seen harmless, Seymour is a bit of a will happen to her children... only to have missed the entire att things, we have our favourite it myself.Which is why I was scared creepy sad music geek- but Enid Nicole Kidman is really section of alien abduction sub-plot! gia specialist shops (mine is Gosh it was going to be a disappointment. likes him and a strange relationship convincing as the strict, God fearing, The most enticing sections the in London), and we take a You know what they say,“the film is develops. Meanwhile, Rebecca gets single mother, trying to prove to of this film occur when Crane be secret pride in the fact that no never as good as the book”- and a job in a coffee bar to earn money herself as well as her children that seeking solace from the tribulations Jo one has heard of most of the that’s exactly what I feared. The for a flat that both girls have been she hasn’t cracked under the of his wife’s murder charge finds M stuff we like. We spend poster advertising the film was not dreaming of moving into their pressure of the supernatural and her himself visiting his friend Walter hit hundreds of pounds on our promising. Enid was too thin and whole lives. Rebecca is not quite as husband’s disappearance. In fact the Abundas night after night, ostensibly obsession (but get more for much too attractive, and Rebecca taken in by Seymour as her friend, entire cast is quite good, even the to listen to his 15 year old daughter, I a our money), and spend hours was not as ‘conventionally’ and prefers to devote her attention children, who could have potentially Birdy (Johansson), play Beethoven at aft rearranging our collection in gorgeous as she should be . Had to Josh, their childhood sweetheart. spoiled the spooky atmosphere, the piano. As the relationship co various orders- (alphabetical, they not read the comic? And Leaving school, the girls have really work in frightening the between Ed and Birdy develops, it chronological, genre... the would they stick to the plot? Keep different priorities and different audience further. reveals itself to be something much 1) possibilities are endless) the order? Preserve the humour? attitudes and this causes a rift in a The Others, the first less about a Lolita-like physical bec And in the same way that music Well, yes to all of the above.Within lifelong friendship.The backdrop for English speaking film by Amenabar attraction and much more about the Sun lovers resent it when a band they’ve the first five minutes of the film, I the film is a dull American suburb, has gothic elements that inevitably tenderness of two people isolated Wh liked for years suddenly make it big was hooked. The casting was and all of the characters seem to be add very typical features to the film. by the world in which they live. gra and is played on Radio 1, comic perfect, the wit was there, and it somehow stuck in a rut until the The darkness of the house, the ‘The Man Who Wasn’t the lovers secretly resent Ghost World was damn brilliant. end of the film. Ghost World is a candlelight, the gravestones, the mist There’ is the best movie so far by Ne the film. I personally had mixed Ghost World is the story of two beautiful story, and though and of course the large haunted two of this generation’s greatest edi feelings when I found out that Dan best friends, Enid (Thora Birch) and essentially a light-hearted teen mansion, must be used for the film-makers. It’s crying out to be New Clowes’ comic was going to be Rebecca (Scarlett Johansson), who comedy, portrays life in all its emphasis on the supernatural, but seen. Ga adapted for the Big Screen. Ghost graduate from high school and are bleakness and sad repetition. Go I’m afraid we’ve seen it all before. yea World, at the time, was one of my at a bit of a loss as to what to do. and see it. Don’t get me wrong,the film is scary, Tim Houghton Reg favourite reads and Dan Clowes Both girls are super ironic, super Emmanuelle Smith par The PAGE 16 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 29

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 29 LIFE AFTER SOTON? Then I had three years at the Today conferences in Bournemouth. Greater London Assembly and I’m newspaper as political 4) The union council has resently Political correspondent when David voted out the vice-president, what Editor of BBC London. Montomgery was the Editor. I then was the biggest union story you 5) Have any of your colleagues at make spent four years as political editor covered at Southampton? the Wessex Scene gone on to may of the Daily Express before I seem to remember they abolished similar success as yourself? ding becoming Political Editor of the the post of deputy president in my The most spectacular success has g on Sunday Express in 1998. year. My deputy, Nigel Fookes, was been John Inverdale, who is much particularly useless (he wasn’t my more successful than me. We uff), 2) What has been the most running mate, we were political worked together on the paper and able challenging thing about the opponents). One of the other since we left university I’ve been movement from print to sabbatical officers was John delighted by the massive success vec broadcast journalism? Denham’s then girlfriend and later he’s had. Though we now both work Early starts. As Political Editor of a N’T his wife, Ruth Dixon. She was for the BBC I don’t think I’ve seen Sunday newspaper the only times I superb and later went on to become him since we left. By coincidence, had to get up early was for freelance a Labour councillor in in London and the southeast he work, at Sky News mostly. Now, I ncis Southampton. follows me on a Sunday afternoon broadcast most mornings on BBC on BBC2. Sunday Grandstand, London 94.9 at 7.10am and have to I remember during my year as which John presents, follows my be in Westminster or our London president we survived attempts by e’ is show, MetroPol. Another studios at around 9.30am. On a the Tories to dis-affiliate the ers coincidence is that my predecessor Sunday paper it’s a more leisurely students union from the NUS. The em but two as present of MetroPol (or start to the day, with the exception NUS arm Around Westminster, as it was of Saturday. I’d done plenty of president at the time was Trevor called then) was Jon Sopel, who broadcasting before, as a pundit. Phillips, who became a friend ou” was Southampton University The other big challenge has been during those fraught times. Now ore Student’s Union president two years reading from an autocue for the first Trevor and I see a lot of each other rnia after me. time. I present a weekly political. as he is a senior member of the ack Show, MetroPol, (BBC2, 1pm, title our Jon Criag, from the Student Handbook uiet JON CRAIG is now BBC own London Political Editor, but his cuts journalist roots lie in the Media vant Resources Room on the top floor his of the West Building, home of ving the Wessex Scene (then know as y, Ed Wessex News). After being news tive editor of Wessex News and completing his Law degree, Jon few became President of the ying Student’s Union. (Another the illustration of the transparent ber line between the independence most of the Wessex Scene and the wyer Union?) To n y end Jon’s moment of fame came at the rder 1995 Labour Party Conference in ver, Brighton while he was political the editor of the Daily Express. ovie During his speech John Prescott tire attempted to present Jon with a ot! giant pork pie. The front page of ons the Daily Express that day had ane been about the dispute between ons John Prescott and Peter nds Mandelson and the ‘porkie’ story lter hit all the news outlets. Jon Criag, from the London BBC website sibly hter, I asked Jon about his experiences n at after leaving the ‘southern ship comforts’ of sunny Southampton. s, it uch 1) What path did you travel to Western Mail, published in Cardiff, Sundays, in London and SE sical become political editor of the and the Aberdeen England) and am still getting used the Sunday Express? Press & Journal. to the autocue - and making sure we ated When I left university I became a don’t over-run at the end of the graduate trainee with what was By the time I left, I was Senior show. It has happened once or sn’t then called “Thomson Regional Political Correspondent of our team twice! But I’m assured other people r by Newspapers.” I trained at their of four. Then I joined The Sunday have done it as well. test editorial training centre in Times, where I was Home Affairs be Newcastle, and then at the Evening Correspondent for three years in 3) How do you look back on your Gazette, Middlesborough. Two Andrew Neil’s days as Editor. I still days at Southampton? years later I joined the Thomson see a lot of him. He presents I enjoyed it enormously. I’ve hardly ton Regional Newspapers Dispatch Box from Millbank, where been back at all. I think of the parliamentary staff, working for I work, and we’re remained good university when I pass through on The Journal, Newcastle, the pals. the train on the way to party 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 30

WESSEX PAGE 30 Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE Drinking Culture? Addi c Tessa Hodge Under normal circumstances, the FEW people at this university can liver manufactures an enormous be unaware of the recent alcohol- amount of fat and exports it out as a related events within the AU that lipoprotein. However, when the liver have caused so much concern to is also dealing with whatever the powers that be. Whatever the you threw its way the night before, it rights and wrongs of these cannot get rid of the fat it particular episodes, I find it hard manufactures. Liver cells cannot 22 to believe that ours is the only function when they are stuffed full of university who’s sporting clubs fat droplets and so a syndrome called enjoy nakedness, cross-dressing ‘fatty liver’ develops. Luckily, this and consuming vast quantities of situation is entirely reversible and, Alco h alcohol. However, only one of these given the slightest opportunity, the habits is potentially life liver will begin to shift the fat it has threatening and only one could accumulated. You will only run into result in the expulsion of some AU difficulties if you don’t give it time HERE is a short questionnaire to Da clubs from their BUSA to recover between drinking binges. evaluate your use of alcohol. The competitions. Real, serious, irreversible liver Alcohol Use Disorders 6. damage will only commence Identification Test or AUDIT has ye Most of us imagine that we are fairly following longstanding or repetitive been developed by the World dr well informed about alcohol abuse abuse. At this point the damaged Health yo and the risks that accompany heavy liver cells will malfunction and Organisation and is used by dr drinking. Unfortunately, this is not stimulate the production of collagen doctors to assess the extent to really the case. The medical from other cells within the liver. This which a patient is likely to need to Ne profession is facing an epidemic of is cirrhosis and it is both progressive make some changes in their Le alcohol-related liver and pancreatic and irreversible. drinking to avoid health problems. M disease, suicide, deliberate self-harm We and psychiatric disorder. All of Most people think of cirrhosis as an The AUDIT Questionnaire Da which would suggest that in this old man’s disease but it is perfectly 1. How often do you have a country our drinking is not as possible to drink enough at drink containing alcohol? 7. controlled as we would like to think. university to damage your liver in ye this way. This is why the Department Never (0) gu Alcohol addiction now accounts for of Health currently recommends that Monthly or Less (1) dr Photos by Nigel Massen one fifth of psychiatric admissions, a every individual has two alcohol- 2-4 times a month (2) figure which has increased over free nights a week and that 2-3 times a week (3) Ne twenty-five times in the past forty everybody should give their liver 48 4 or more times a week (4) Le years. More than one third of hours to recover after being drunk. M patients attending A&E departments 2. How many drinks containing We have a blood alcohol level above the Obviously, alcoholic cirrhosis is not alcohol do you have on a typical Da legal driving limit and about one the only possible complication of day when you are drinking? quarter of all individuals admitted to alcohol abuse. Long-term diseases 8. hospital for any reason are abusing include cancers of the mouth, 1 or 2 (0) ye alcohol. The burden of all this on an pharynx, larynx and oesophagus, 3 or 4 (1) rem already overstretched NHS is gastritis, pancreatitis, heart disease 5 or 6 (2) nig frightening. and hypertension. Of more 7-9 (3) be immediate concern is the increased 10 or more (4) I am sure that these figures, whilst risk of accidents and psychosocial Ne shocking, do not bother many problems. The commonest cause of 3. How often do you have 6 or Le students. Everybody drinks heavily death in young people aged between more drinks on an occasion M at university and few seem to suffer 16-34 is drinking and driving, when you are drinking? We any lasting effects. However, it is followed by Da surely important for people to realise suicide. Many of these suicide Never (0) that there is a very fine line between attempts are drink related and in Less than monthly (1) 9. heavy casual use of a drug and actual some cases heavy drinking actually Monthly (2) be abuse. We all realise that it is initiated the depression. There is a Weekly (3) dr possible to drink more than the huge overlap between mental health Daily or almost daily (4) recommended weekly limits and problems and substance misuse. No suffer no serious health problems. Alcohol abuse can wreak havoc with 4. How often during the past Ye The liver has a tremendous power of Drinking Guidelines your life (and sex-life). Depression, year have you found that you Ye recuperation and can handle many of anxiety disorders, memory and were not the things thrown at it. personality disturbances and able to stop drinking once you 10 Unfortunately, there is no way of WOMEN MEN heightened aggression can also had started? do wo telling how far down the line towards (Units/week) (Units/week) develop fairly quickly. cirrhosis you have travelled until you Never (0) yo Less than monthly (1) cu actually arrive there. RECOMMENDED 13 (6.5 pints) 20 (10 pints) Nobody is advocating abstinence; a young man can easily drink up to 36 Monthly (2) Alcohol is metabolised in the liver units a week (18 pints) without Weekly (3) No by an enzyme called alcohol NO LONG TERM running undue risk. However, it is Daily or almost daily (4) Ye dehydrogenase to form acetaldehyde DAMAGE 14-24 (7-12 pints) 21-36(10.5-18 pints) important to realise that alcohol can Ye (the hangover provider), which is in adversely affect your health, not just 5. How often during the past year have you failed to do what AU turn broken down, by acetaldehyde RISK OF LONG in the future, but now. There is no dehydrogenase, before being need for any of us to experience was mo excreted from the liver. Interestingly, TERM PROBLEMS 25-34 (12.5-17 pints) 37-49 (18.5-24.5 pints) these sorts of health problems. The normally expected of you tha oriental individuals have very low liver is an amazing organ and need because of drinking? ad levels of acetaldehyde HEALTH HAZARD 35+ (17.5 pints upwards) 50+ (25 pints upwards) only be treated with a modicum of dehydrogenase, meaning that their respect. Drinking only becomes a Never (0) hangovers will last longer and be problem when it impinges on other Less than monthly (1) more severe than the worst Thursday areas of your life and, at university; Monthly (2) morning that Caucasians can this is unlikely to be the case. Weekly (3) imagine. 1 unit = half a pint= 1 small glass of wine = 25cl of spirits = two thirds of an alcopop 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 31

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 31 i cted Do student’s deserve their stereotypical reputation? 22NO YES Justin Sherlock life to the full while enjoying it at Alex Moss remember that many nights in o hol? the same time. some of Southampton’s finest During the 1980’s, the legendary Times change, so do students. It’s Student’s; ‘drunken know it alls that night-clubs, I have to say that it decade that we all grew up in, there time to say good-bye to The Young would rather spend time in a bar does sum up a large part of student was a television comedy called than behind a desk.’ This is a typical life, but I feel it’s a bit unfair on to Daily or almost daily (4) Ones, and accept that students are ‘The Young Ones’. Hilarious as it image of students. The question is myself and fellow alcoholics! The no longer the reprobates that we are was, the antics of these mad but not: “Do students deserve this ers 6. How often during the past made out to be. lovable students did nothing for the image?” but: “Why do they have it In which other social situation do has year have you needed a first student reputation. In fact it made in the first place?” Is it because they you get thousands of young people rld drink in the morning to get us out to be downright lazy, Lucy Bell cause trouble? Feed off the crammed into a relatively small yourself going after a heavy irresponsible and very arrogant. government? Or simply aim to area? Going out and letting of by drinking session? Cheers to the BBC. I have recently witnessed many annoy the general public at any steam is natural. Students have to articles in both the tabloids and opportunity? such strange workloads, you can d to Never (0) Up until recently, we, as students, broadsheets, highlighting the issue of bet not one of us starts working at eir Less than monthly (1) didn’t have to pay tuition fees. student drinking, all of them I feel that student’s image suffers 9am and finishes bang on 5pm, job ms. Monthly (2) Well, as our bank balances know presenting a stereotypical view of because of the minority that make done! Working hard (and paying a Weekly (3) only too well, we are now. It would students and their tendency for binge trouble. Whether it is getting rowdy lot to do so) entitles us to play Daily or almost daily (4) appear that students have to take drinking. in a pub or being arrested for hard, a sort of balancing act to a more responsibility. A far cry from stealing traffic cones on the Avenue keep you sane. Imagine if the 7. How often during the past the ‘government money spending’ Apparently this behaviour is most (what is it with students and traffic “townies” at the same age all lived year have you had a feeling of adventures of The Young Ones. Do common in middle-class, female cones, anyway?) Students who see together en-mass? I have visions of guilt or remorse after we therefore deserve our students. The Cambridge college of university as a way of escaping the security fences and curfews! drinking? stereotypical reputation? St. Catherine’s has taken the hard line real world for a few years and not on drinking and threatened students actually gaining a decent It’s a natural part of being young Never (0) Sure we all go out for a drink, once with dismissal, should their behavior qualification also enhance the and enjoying yourself. At no other Less than monthly (1) in a while (or every night), but who get out of hand, but surely freshers stereotypical image of students. It is time will you have these Monthly (2) doesn’t? I find it difficult to believe week was ever thus. Jeremy Paxman, these students who contribute to opportunities to meet so many ing Weekly (3) that the rest of the population are a former student of St. Catherine’s student’s bad image, not those that people of the same age and cal Daily or almost daily (4) all teetotal. If you believe what you was quoted in The Times, saying: “In come to learn and make the most of viewpoints, it would be a waste to see on the television, then students my day, this would not have university life. let them pass by. Just remember 8. How often during the past spend their whole time getting happened. Can’t they take their drink that your time of being a student is year have you been unable to drunk - in other words a bunch of any more? It’s pathetic.” I quite Students are a huge spending force relatively short, it will pass so remember what happened the layabouts. Well I can only speak agree, we are drinking no more than in this country, proving that some quickly. Make sure you make your night before because you had for myself, but I seem to have a the generations before us, but after a do have an urge to empty their memories now, and not left at 50 been drinking? substantial amount of work to do. few cases of alcohol poisoning at pockets onto the nearest bar and only being able to remember the Be it essays, presentations or Cambridge, we are all being tarred drink excessively. This not only colour of the library walls! Just Never (0) simply reading, they all take time. with the same brush by the media. creates an extreme image but also, keep the Kylie renditions at or Less than monthly (1) in the case of alcohol abuse 2.30am quiet! on Monthly (2) Now admittedly students have the The general conception seems to be damages health irreparablely. Weekly (3) ability to kick-up a fuss, things that we are all extremely drunk, most Daily or almost daily (4) such as (and you’ll have to excuse of the time, and show disregard for There is nothing wrong with getting Imogen Hitchcock the irony of it) protests against our educations. While this certainly things free, drinking and generally 9. Have you or has someone else tuition fees. But come on we’re no could be true of the freshers, who having fun, but if you are one of the been injured as a result of your “Scummy, scabby students.” Well Rick Mayal trying to overthrow have every right to enjoy themselves stereotypes who go a little too far drinking? yes, actually we are. And why Maggie Thatcher. So we have as much as possible, the same cannot because mummy and daddy aren’t not? For as long as we can get strong opinions on matters that be said of second and third year there to keep you in line then No (0) away with not doing any work, affect us, and matters that don’t, students. beware. You are the ones who give ast Yes, but not in the past year (2) not paying tax and generally not but isn’t that why we are students? us this image! you Yes, during the past year (4) doing much except drink, so we We’re intelligent and expressive As student debt continues to rise and should continue. individuals, one of the main competition for graduate jobs you 10. Has a relative, friend, or a reasons that we are still in an increases, we want to get our doctor or other health care We don’t want to go into the ‘real’ education. money’s worth. Unfortunately, Laura McKinnon worker been concerned about world. We don’t want to work (not further education can no longer be a your drinking or suggested you properly at least). We’re young And then there’s the arrogance. free ride. As a result, students now Ahh, the joys of student life!. cut down? and therefore we need to play Well there may be an element of feel under more pressure to achieve, Alcohol (of which far too much is hard. Study? Just a by line in the truth to this one. I mean you especially as the finals get closer. So, enjoyed in the fantastic drinking No (0) great scheme of University life. couldn’t count the amount of times the notion that studying is not hole that we call Jesters!), Yes, but not in the past year (2) I’ve heard people say “the important to us is a myth. Of course stumbling home accompanied by a Yes, during the past year (4) Post-grads? If ever there were an arrogance of we’re going to drink and go out with few well chosen road signs etc. ast example of people eeking out youth”. OF YOUTH, not just our friends, it’s part of being young, Does this picture sound far too hat AUDIT says that If you score student life. Mature students? students. This implies all people but now, more than ever, we take our familiar? The picture of students as more than 12 it is recommended Can’t hack working and need to our age and not just the poor studying as seriously as our social a bunch of lazy alcoholics may be a ou that you sould consider taking regress back to their youth. defenceless students! Perhaps our lives. Working hard and playing hard very well known stereotype, but is it advice from your doctor. so-called arrogance is just our way does not earn us our stereotypical really deserved? Personally, as I ‘Nuff said of living reputation. help run a student bar, and can’t I’m off to the bar. We wish to emphasise that the views in this column are not necessarily those of the writers, the WSX editor, the Wessex Scene in general or the Union’s. The intention of Devil’s advocate is to encourage debate and discussion for the sake of argument 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 32

PAGE 32 WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE A Chief Amongst Us

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The pos in i and Isla else Em sym valu

But dem bein Am Pal hel Leb Dan in his Tribal dress Am vill Emma Rose and Am ‘TOGBE AMENYO I’, that’s workers, and you can see what they they lose money on the crops they ‘They did think it was impossible to it, he just couldn’t give up. rap ‘Chief-a-better-man-the-first’, to could achieve, so I just thought a are not growing and selling; ‘they do it in that time space’ because they The entire project took two and a thro you and I, but what you wouldn’t library was definitely the best idea.’ were putting themselves out a lot work by Ghana Maybe Time, their half months, and Dan stayed an one expect is that he is a third year although there was a good idea of Greenwich Mean Time! ‘If extra three weeks to make sure oth Geography student. Better known Last summer 2001; Dan and his community spirit’ he reassures me. you ask a local what the time is, he’ll everything was completed, during as Daniel Brown, I met up with him eleven volunteers went out to begin look up at the sun and he’ll say which time he contracted malaria. for an exclusive Wessex Scene work. I wanted to know what the I was interested in the response to afternoon, and he’ll be completely interview to discover exactly how he people there were like, and of their their presence. Dan described how honest, he won’t be joking at all. So Dan had heard rumours that became chief. response to Dan’s project. ‘They the first time he went out there they they just have no concept of time,’ something was being planned for were amazed that people from were the first ever whites to enter the he laughs at the comedy of this now. him, to recognise the work he’d Dan spent six months in a village in England would want to come out to village. The children were scared of But at the time it placed a great deal done, but it was more than he’d ever Ghana teaching the local children a village in Ghana just to live there them; ‘they called us Nolni which is of pressure on Dan because they had expected. One night the chiefs came during his gap year, and returned and work there. They just think that ghost in EwÈ which is the local deadlines to meet: ‘It was the to his house to begin the ceremony this summer to undertake an the West is the most amazing place language.’ But when building the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my of making him a chief. The tradition incredible task. in the world. Why would you ever library Dan explained how, ‘just life.’ apparently calls for the new chief to want to leave it?’ Obviously they having all the whites there just gets be locked in solitude for ten days so When he ended his gap year, Dan were delighted with the work, and everyone so excited, thinking there’s I asked what motivated him. ‘It was the spirits will come to them to give was touched by the villagers’ recognised the team’s efforts. But as something really amazing going to a bit disheartening especially as I them the powers they’ll need. appreciation that he decided he’d Dan pointed out, the locals had to happen’ and this helped motivate thought all my friends are back in Laughing, Dan explained that they like to help them further. ‘They help too and this was a big sacrifice everyone. England over the summer, so I could were worried the library wouldn’t deserve so much but they’re so poor, as they are subsistent farmers, and The biggest problem Dan seemed to be enjoying myself there.’ But get finished if they did this, so he like when I was teaching there they every time they work on the library come up against was local time. knowing how much they appreciated only spent one day locked up. Does didn’t even have electricity.’ Dan this mean you only have a tenth of was so moved by their situation that your chiefly powers Dan? he instigated a project to build them a library. How did all this make him feel? ‘I just couldn’t believe it, you’re just It took hundreds of letters before he treated like royalty, absolute royalty, and his housemates finally obtained and I would have hated it if I’d just sponsorship from the British gone over there as a white and just Council. They managed to raise given them the money for this enough funds to cover the estimated library.’ cost of £4,500, and an American charity agreed to supply over 700 Dan says he will definitely go back books. A visit to Ghana in especially now that he has the September 2000, meeting with responsibilities of a chief. He is construction firms, the education hoping to work on future projects authority, the department of with the company that organised community development, and his teaching placement, collecting the plans, meant all www.teaching_abroad.co.uk who systems were go! have been a great help to him and do some invaluable work across The idea of a library was born the world. So if you’re interested because the school didn’t have any in doing something like Dan, look books and he knew how beneficial a them up, and to you Dan, library would be to their motivation. children running to get in the photo in the school which Dan taught at in Ghana all the best for future projects. ‘Some of them are really, really hard 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 33

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk PAGE 33 s AFGHANISTAN ONE STUDENT’S VIEW I SPEAK as an individual who Julian Abu Zayd Eyre Islam; utterances cynically made in The US says that it is going to help so brave US soldiers 30,000 feet up belongs to a weak and persecuted US double standards are clearly order to appease those self-serving the Muslim people by changing their in the sky. But in doing so, they will nation. I am not referring to the obvious to everyone. It may be that leaders of Muslim states. But many governments into tolerant and have created the conditions for far country in which I live, but to the Iraq violated international Muslims have been outraged by the deocratic systems. We say, keep your worse conflict in the future; a conflict worldwide nation of people who resolutions, but Israel has done so hypocrisy of the West’s supposed evil away from us. Based on these in which they ultimately will not accept Islam as their source of many times over and is still doing so. ‘respect’ for Islam. They want to tell false promises you have destroyed triumph. guidance. These double standards have us that this isn’t a religious war, but if the Iraqi people and many others. We condemned millions of children in the attacks on the USA were an do not want any freedom or Finally, I will say this. What the The United States has taken the same Iraq, whose voices don’t count in this assault on ‘civilisation’, why democracy from the US and we will leaders of the West desire more than position as the Roman Empire, which global game of power and greed, to shouldn’t Muslims regard an attack not accept it, for the enemy of anything else is power. We should in its day persecuted the Christians, starvation, illness, and death. on Afghanistan as a war on Islam? freedom cannot bestow freedom. remind them of from where their and co-operated with the enemies of power is derived. I tell you now, and Islam, whether in Russia, Israel, or As a result many turn to the groups As a former secretary of the NATO I’m not saying that we Muslims do I swear by God, I will never vote for elsewhere. At that time the Roman which are described by the US as Alliance officially stated, NATO set not have any faults. We do. One is or support anyone who supported or Empire used to claim that it was the terrorists, because when America Islam up as an object of enmity to that we do not forget the disasters that condoned this vile and immoral symbol of freedom and civilised accuses someone of being a terrorist take the place of the former Soviet have befallen us no matter how campaign. I urge you all to do the values, just as America now claims. or extremist, they are putting him in Union. We now have the Evil One much time has passed. We will never same. the position of a longed-for hero in replacing the Evil Empire. forget the fall of Jerusalem at the But this is not the war of civilised the eyes of the oppressed and hands of the first crusaders, much democracy vs. terror that the world is destitute. Evidence of this plan lies in the less forget the loss of Jerusalem and being asked to believe. It is about insertion of Western ‘peace-keepers’, most of Palestine to the American missiles smashing into That brings us to Bin Laden and his or the non-opposition to other contemporary equivalent. And we Palestinian homes and US network, and their supposed role in occupying powers, in those areas will certainly not forget the latest helicopters firing missiles into a the events of the 11th September where there is any possibility of aggression against the Muslims of Lebanese ambulance in 1996, and 2001. These events produced the Muslims desiring to rule themselves Afghanistan. American shells crashing into a excuse that the US needed to remove according to the will of God in village called Qana a few days later, the Taliban regime, which for years Bosnia, Kosovo, Chechnya, Unless the US changes its global This is one student’s view and the and about a Lebanese militia, paid by had refused to bow to the will of the Palestine. And now Afghanistan, policies, economic and political, it Wessex Scene and the Union America’s Israeli ally hacking and US, and which stood in the way of where in order to destroy a nascent will go the same way as the Roman holds no responsibility for the raping and murdering their way the construction of a crucial political Islamic movement, the US Empir. Of that, I have little doubt. views in the article. Please d a through refugee camps. It is about moneymaking pipeline. and the UK has aided and abetted They may win the short-term battle forward all comments to an one rule for some and another rule for The US and the UK may fool some murderers and criminals in the guise against an impoverished nation [email protected] sure others. for a while about their ‘respect’ for of the Northern Alliance. unable to fight back against those oh- ring a.

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WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE

‘installation’ to us at the Wessex Scene!

The winner will have the pleasure of seeing their dick trick in its full glory in the first issue of next year’s paper! If ✭ so Plus, we’ll put you through to the Cl national finals where you will have fjc COCKSTAre you the UK’s hottest R in to pit your prowess against the best cockstar, or merely a flopstar?! of them! And the prize I hear you wa cry? Quite simply, a night out with Calling all of you who want to the lads all paid for and a fully If make your make your parents sized framed copy of your co proud. As Year 2001 is the Year achievements. ph of the Penis in the ancient ph Australian Horoscope, and to Send us “hard” copies by posting celebrate PUPPETRY OF THE them through the box outside the PENIS release on video and DVD Wessex Scene office, West we are looking for the UK’s first Get your A Building. Or email it to ever ‘Cockstars’. [email protected] Kyr TH The Popstars and Soapstars If you would rather maintain a hands on Eco phenomenon has reached new spectator’s standpoint, then we’ve eve heights with this latest Aussie got five copies of the video and peo craze! T-shirts to give away. Ba Graham! dan Last year, the ancient Australian wit art of “genital origami” proved a Eco hit at the Edinburgh festival with We’ve got one video and one the such mind boggling stunts as DVD to give away to all you occ “The Slow Emerging Mollusc” Graham fans out there! To win this and “The Hamburger” amongst your copy of Graham Norton others! Live at the Roundhouse, just Tha answer this question. sp So if you’re man enough and Pri think the Brits can show our Which star of Big Brother recently Co cultured cousins a thing or two, appeared on So Graham Norton and beg send a snap of your best has been noted for his likeness to wit Graham? Just answer this question: co drin a) Amma Who played the lead not the in the the fab Brit flick b) Bubble The Full Monty? cho qui c) Brian by

✭ This video is brought to you from No VVL and is available to buy. gav FLOPST R stud the Wh tha gam Be a runner... ass DO you often sacrifice Friday December, as a runner!! Think of it J nights out to stay in with Graham? as the stuff dreams are made of… A Winning entries will be announced Well now you can get that little bit chance to break out your purple by 12pm on the 12th of December JA closer to your idol with this vinyl pants and lemon yellow T- on www.Virginstudent.com, the lar exclusive student comp! shirt with someplace to actually go. winner will zoom into London with ran No longer the spectator but a real Virgin Trains staying at The are Kitty Phone just rang to say that player, you will be watching from Berners Hotel. con there is an amazing opportunity for the inside as Graham hosts his usual dir one indispensable student to help gaggle of celebrity guests. dir Graham Norton celebrate his first ass stand up video release, ‘Graham All you have to do is tell us in 50 Norton – Live at the Roundhouse’. words or less tell us why “Graham Send your entries to The can’t get through a day without suc So Television and Channel 4 have you”. Submit your entries by either Jessica Savage Ren graciously offered to host one very letter (accompanied by a photo) or LDA Communications, Wo lucky student for a full day of work videogram. The deadline is 10th 44b The Broadway, aro experience on the ‘So Graham December so start writing about London You’ve been spotted! Norton Show’ to be filmed on 19th why Graham needs you! NW7 3LH. The Collect £20 from VP Comms on Level 2 and go directly to jail... sol Sm sex Email all your answers to [email protected] bas 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 35

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk A Society Reborn... HAVING A BALL! ONCE again Southampton Simon Davis & John Gladstone manage… mostly thanks to our ball University has an engineering sponsors Pirelli! society to be proud of! Following to all society members at greatly the collapse of the Engineering reduced prices. Trips have been Dining tickets sold out more than Faculty Society (EFS) in 1994, organised to Jongleurs Comedy two weeks before the ball so anyone engineers at the Southampton Club, Camouflage Paintball and the who doesn’t already have one will were left without any form of Bournemouth Opera House with a not be able to enjoy the three-course total of more than three hundred If you’ve got a special event or provide you with stunning piccies official society. The void was filled meal available during the evening. people in attendance and it is now some important news about your to accompany your article. in 1996 with the formation of Non-Dining tickets are however still Club or Society then email it to SUES and steadily over the years, only a week until SUES’ biggest available. ever event: The Engineers’ and fjc199. Anything exciting and So let me know what you’re all several committees have worked As we march into the first decade of Nurses’ Ball. interesting will be sure to find its up to and fill this page! tirelessly to re-establish the the new millennium SUES has way onto this page! Cheers, engineering society to its former chosen to revisit times past with a glory as one of the University’s 2002 promises even more! The most 70’s, 80’s and 90’s theme. If you want the event to be premier student organisations. exciting development will be the covered and captured in its full launch of "SUES Projects". A sub Topping the bill is: The 8-tiz… photographic glory then email Over the past year SUES has been committee dedicated to organising offering a full on 80’s tribute fest [email protected] and they will run by a committee eager for a projects to give engineering students complete with costumes! return to the glory days; times when an opportunity to develop their skills 6 Way Circus, the best student band the engineers ball was the biggest on real problems. Following in Southampton will be threatening event on the calendar, engineers inquiries from Mike Onslow, the to upstage the pro’s with a chaotic An Econsoc Success flamboyant creator of the trip back to the 70’s. Be ready for Kyriakos Hadjisoteris drink!!! At the end of the night, "Plunderbird" team, plans are afoot classic Rock n’ Roll, manic axe- THURSDAY 25th October saw the everyone was on the dance floor, to develop a 250 kg walking robot battles and very big hair! n Economic Society’s first social (including the committee), and the for the BBC’s Robot Wars & A pair of DJs will be spinning the event of the year. Around 150 hardcore amongst us continued the Technogames programs. The second tracks from the 90’s through to the people squeezed themselves into night at New Yorks. project is the entering of a team in present day, culminating in the Bar Med to enjoy a night of the Shell Mileage Marathon, a obligatory and unavoidable cheese dancing, drinking and socialising The Economic Society takes pride in competition with one aim: to build a fest. There will also be table with their fellow members of organising events for their members, car capable of 3000mpg! magicians, balloon guys, a raffle EconSoc, a night which continued and recognises the importance of with over £300 of prizes available, one the momentum of success that has achieving a balance between work SUES is also committed to chill-out room, and THREE BARS you occurred within and a social life. Yet providing a careers service which all with late licenses! win this society. we also try to equip aims to give help and advise to rton our members with the Undergraduate engineers looking All this is happening on just Thanks to our tools they need for for summer placements and the 29th of November sponsors, finding employment A SUES member in action on a Graduates looking for full so the waiting is Pricewaterhouse after University. We recent trip time nearly over... ntly Coopers, guests will be holding where proud of their soc and other employment. and began the night workshops with students begged to join in. Non-Dining s to with a Pricewaterhouse In striving to achieve this goal, Building Tickets are complimentary A Proud Econsoc Committee Coopers in the near SUES has become the fastest on the available from the drink, and enjoyed future. growing society the University has success of Concourse every lunchtime, not only the delightful greetings from So watch this space! ever seen! last year’s sell- priced at £17 for SUES members the EconSoc Committee but also mini In the last 3 months alone the out event, the and Nurses and £18 pounds for chocolates placed on the tables, which Our next exciting event is set to take membership has increased by 70% SUES ball has everyone else. These tickets include quickly vanished from the premises place at Jongleurs Comedy Club on and commercial sponsorship has moved to Winchester Guildhall and all of the above attractions as-well as by 9pm. the 22nd of November, and will been secured (thanks to Land Rover this year is being run in association coach transport to and from feature cheesy music at the end of the & Pirelli). In addition www.e- with Nurse Soc. SUES hopes to Winchester. rom Nonetheless, our ‘Freshers Event’ show. Only 70 tickets are available, so sues.com was launched, the create the most fantastic ball gave first years the chance to meet hurry now! society’s new website that contains possible, yet keep the price much It promises to be a fantastic and students from their course and assist information on social events as- lower than Monty or the Medics absolutely unmissable event! their integration in Southampton. Prices are £2 for members, and £3 for well-as academic resources. It has What better way to accomplish this non-members. Tickets are being sold become the first society with its own Medics’ Revue than through the ‘boat race’ drinking in the foyer of the Murray Building business – the newly launched game where teams were randomly every day from 12 – 2pm. SUES Bookshop, which sells Here Again providing free help, support and assembled to compete for a free See you there!! second hand engineering textbooks information for children and adults Karen Jospeh who have any form of disfigurement. WHAT do you get if you cross the Rocky Horror Show with ER, We promise you the best and most ced Jazzmanix Concert throw in a pair of fake comedy entertaining night out in mber JAZZMANIX, the university’s supporting the concert, who have for itself in Hampshire, with annual breasts, a fair portion of toilet Southampton, since the invention of largest choir who perform a wide regular gigs at ‘The Hobbit’ and concerts at places like Winchester humour and leave to stew in naked jelly and ice-cream bear with range of jazz and gospel music, ‘Talking Heads’. Their second Prison and Countess Mountbatten Boldrewood for 6 weeks? The wrestling, and that you will leave the are preparing for their first major album ‘Recreation for Beginners’ Hospice, the choir decided to Medics Revue of course! theatre with your sides aching, eyes concert of the year under the was released on 17th October 2001 venture abroad. The joint tour with watering and your pants direction of Jo Mattock, musical and will be on sale at the concert. SUJO (Southampton University In its 28th year this all singing, all dripping….(errr enough of that!). director, and Sam Harrop, Jazz Orchestra) of Holland in July dancing extravaganza tries to out do assistant musical director. Having made a something of name was a huge success and a great end itself with risqué jokes, oversized Cindiana Jones – The quest for the to the year. papier mache genitalia and singing Holy Pail runs from the 27th The evening will feature numbers and dance routines to put Moulin November to the 1st of December. such as ‘Seasons of Love’ from So if you want to see Rouge to shame. More importantly, Tickets are priced from £3.50 to age Rent, Michael Jackson’s ‘Heal the a choir that sings and here’s where we need your help, £7.50 and available from Barclays ons, World’ and The Beach Boy’s ‘I get with a swing, come we are trying to raise over £6000 for (uni branch), Boldrewood way, around’. along to the Turner good causes. concourse, SGH canteen and the don Sims Concert Hall at Union Box Office daily. LH. There will also be performances by 8pm Friday 30th This year we are supporting soloists, including Heather Scott- November. Tickets Leukaemia Busters, which funds All shows are brilliant but the Smith, and the choir’s quartet, are £8 or £5 research in the Simon Flavell Saturday matinee offers a slightly sextet and octet. Southampton concessions. Leukaemia Research Unit and toned down version for the faint k based band ‘Barrington’ are A taste of what you can expect from last year... Changing Faces, a national charity hearted amongst you! 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:05 am Page 36

WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE My Experience slap of Boxing: par DES had this fantastic idea: ‘why slap don’t you two sports girlies joins dow a different club every week and It g write a report about it?’ We both the said no, using the excuse that we girl wanted to keep an objective adm outlook on University sports war clubs and couldn’t possibly do It m that if we were part of any club. As the deadline for this issue C drew nearer, we realised that we would have to go for it. As

I decided to have a go at boxing. H The reason for this was because I o have absolutely no knowledge of the sport, and it wouldn’t be b something I would ever have considered trying. I wasn’t sure to b about what to expect. When I nex arrived in the training room, which to b was in a part of the university I’ve was never been to in all my 3 years... stup (near the squash courts...) I was Sha very scared. I was in a room full of do people who could probably kick mo my arse, and I felt intimidated. glo Kar The first thing we had to do was a the warm up. This involved running did around the room, stretching, of skipping, step ups, sit ups, push con ups, squat thrusts and some knee FIGHT My Experience comfortable clothing’, and set off to for the Union. Tec of self defence: the IF you were to walk past the Unfortunately, when I arrived I the Garden Court restaurant on a realised that I had forgotten where som Tuesday evening during the first the classes were supposed to take the few weeks of term, you probably place. I entered the main building win would have heard blood-curdling and, to my relief, saw lots of people Sen cries echoing around the union in white pyjamas running around the mo building. In case you were ballroom. Thinking this must be it, I ext wondering, it wasn’t people who joined in. Soon however, I realised usu had just discovered the that there were a rather large number def extortionate prices, but some 152 of blokes present - I had thought that nec girls taking part in a self-defence it was a course for women only. It wit course. rapidly dawned on me that I was in ‘kic the wrong place, and on asking Sev The course was run by Adrian someone, I discovered that I was clu Foster-Starr, local Southampton taking part in a Karate class! I we policeman and Sensai of the skulked away, humiliated, but ma Southampton University Shorinji luckily on my way out someone told ‘ex Kempo club, and took place for the me to go to the garden court. Once I tim first four weeks of term from 7.15- finally arrived everything ran pun 8.15pm. It cost £4 for the four smoothly, and it was a very sati sessions. enjoyable and informative kne experience. I w Having the misfortune to live with tho someone who is obsessed with Sensai Adrian explained that he pai Kempo, I was ‘persuaded’ to go taught the course to us not in along. In truth not much persuasion hiscapacity as a policeman, but as a As was needed however, as I have long teacher of Shorinji Kempo. Each disc thought that, living in Watford when week we were shown simple and self not at University, a basic knowledge practical methods of self-defence con of self-defence is a pretty essential that are based on the principles of the skill! So when Tuesday came around Kempo, meaning that you don’t are I dutifully donned my ‘loose, have to have super-human strength of A 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:06 am Page 37

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk slapping thing, where you had myself. partner up with someone and try to There was a warm down at the end why slap their knees. It was tiring, so I sat (more running and stretching.) oins down for a while to take a few notes. Boxing was more tiring than I and It gave me a chance to look around imagined, but more enjoyable too. oth the room. There were only 3 other There seemed to be a range of we girls there, and about 20 blokes. I different abilities in the club, with a tive admired their perseverance with the couple of the members taking part orts warm up, as it had nearly killed me. in the BUSA tournament in a few do It made me realise that you do have weeks time. Good luck to them! lub. sue Completely Useless Boxing Tip: we As I sat on the bench watching the boxing, someone said to me:

ing. Hairy people really shouldn’t use the bottom se I of their t-shirts to wipe sweat off their faces, e of be because you can see their pubes. ave sure to be very fit to do this sport. The If you are interested in taking part in n I next thing I discovered was you had boxing, the club trains on level three, hich to be co-ordinated and agile too. As I near the squash courts, (above the I’ve was neither of these things, I looked gym.) These are the times and dates: rs... stupid! We had to have a go at was Shadow boxing. I was shown what to Monday 6-8 ll of do by one of the coaches. Next we Tuesday 6-8 kick moved onto boxing with a partner, Friday 5-7 gloves and pads. I partnered up with Karen, one of the few other girls in (Although some dedicated members as a the club. She was really helpful, and go to the town club too, which trains ning didn’t laugh at me once! By the end every night.) ing, of the session, I was feeling more ush confident, and actually enjoying Chrissy knee All Boxing photos: Simon Thompson TCLUBS off to be able to carry them out. along to talk to us about domestic Techniques ranged from punches to violence, something that the nose and chest using the ‘heel’ of unfortunately is quite common and d I the palm, to snapping little fingers if often goes unreported. She also gave here someone comes towards you with out useful leaflets with numbers to take their hands stretched out! Some girls call if we, or anyone we knew, had ding winced at such suggestions, but suffered this kind of abuse, stressing ople Sensai Adrian stressed that such that there are people who can help. the moves should only be used in it, I extreme circumstances, and that Looking back, the course was ised usually the best method of self- definitely worthwhile. It has mber defence is to escape. Use only when increased my confidence, and I now that necessary was particularly stressed feel that I have the basic knowledge y. It with regards to the cringe-inducing to defend myself, and can go out in s in ‘kick them in the balls’ technique! Watford again! At the end of the king Several brave ‘volunteers’ from the course we were given the offer of was club assisted Adrian each week, and two free sessions of Shorinji s! I were often used to demonstrate Kempo, and I might just take them but manouveres. We also got to up on that! told ‘experiment’ on these helpers at ce I times, trying out our pathetic Susie ran punches. This was particularly very satisfying, especially if like me, you The Kempo club trains tive knew your victim! Seriously though, every week: I would like to say a big thank you to Sunday1000-1300(urgh...too early!) those volunteers - it certainly looked Tuesday 1800-2000 he painful at times! Thursday 1930-2130 in as a As well as practical methods we also If you are interested in taking part ach discussed the legal implications of in a similar self-defence course and self-defence, such as what is next term, email: nce considered reasonable in the eyes of s of the law, and what you can do if you [email protected] on’t are assaulted. In the last session one Please state your name, year of ngth of Adrian’s female co-workers came study and preferred day of the week. All Self-Defence Photos: Bernard Morgan 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:06 am Page 38

WESSEX Wessexscene.co.uk SCENE Sporting Website of the Issue: EDITOR’S CORNER SPOT

We both tried our hand at something new this month, and looked at two of the ‘fight clubs’ at the university; the aggressive in the form of boxing, and the defensive in the form of the A women-only self-defence class run by the Shorinji Kempo club. Both were interesting and enlightening experiences, even if Chrissy is still aching from boxing! For full details of our experiences, and when the clubs train, see our double page article. Any suggestions for what we should try next? Drop us a line.

So that’s the sports section this time. Perhaps not the most ground-breaking issue, but deadlines were tight, and HELLO and welcome to the sports Academy seems to be a hit with essays are looming. If you feel that pages. everyone, as illustrated by the antics you have something newsworthy, or a of the Netball team and the success of sporting issue that you want to We were planning to run an article on the Halloween night. See articles discuss, then send it to us at: the light-hearted side of initiation opposite for details of drunken [email protected] THIS issue,. we have discovered a .COM ceremonies in this issue, but due to debauchery! wwwnew and innovativeEXTREMEIRONING sport among recent circumstances (see news), it Submissions have been a bit thin on was no longer deemed appropriate to the more bizarre pages of the In sports success out of the bar, the the ground this time, so as a reminder be seen as promoting such World Wide Web. The intriguing men’s Rugby team have got off to a of what happens if we don’t receive ceremonies. introduction to the site states: great start this season judging by their enough articles. recent match reports, and the Canoe Although all initiations - that unusual ‘Welcome to the home of extreme Polo team scored a victory over the On a final note, don’t forget to check method of ‘bonding’ and ironing - the latest danger sport that Royal Navy this week. I am sure that out extremeironing.com. If you know teambuilding - have been cancelled, combines the thrills of an extreme there have been many more sporting of any other bizarre sporting sites that it appears that the sports clubs outdoor activity with the victories in university clubs, so if you beat this, let us know. satisfaction of a well pressed shirt’. haven’t let it dampen their social want to celebrate in style and see your lives, and have been ‘getting to know winning team in print, send us an each other’ in alternative ways. The Obviously, this is just the sort of article! Susie and Chrissy A thing that was missing from the new AU night at Avondale and an extreme sports scene - according to tru two Leicester flat mates aptly the named ‘Steam’ and ‘Spray’ Wa anyway. It involves combining of your favourite sport; say rock fri climbing, with that irritating pile of pro ironing that usually keeps you of stuck indoors. The sport was born as from their genius in 1997, starting The Almighty Iron has concquered tra off in their back garden and then the montian. we progressing to Wales and the Lake Ins on the sport. District as they searched for greater BU challenges, then the dizzying tw Perhaps this could be a new AU heights of a world recruitment tour sus colours club. What do you think? If in 1999. Apparently the sport is tel anyone has any comments, or has now semi-official, as the ruling tog taken part in the sport themselves, body of the Extreme Ironing ma then write to us at the usual Bureau (EIB). we address. op If you visit the website, you will be One last thing, apparently it is treated to many pictures of these Sim particularly popular in Germany, unusually gifted sports-men in a an with various fans clubs and sites variety of strange ironing based the around the country... endeavours, as well as news, co Susie updates and special features cel tow als Ins

As ha BU thi all (Po 3rd 17 fou the bu las fir ma 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:06 am Page 39

WESSEX SCENE Wessexscene.co.uk NETBALL: NEWS HALLOWEEN hing o of HORRORS! the and the AND BOOZY ROMPS Egg Catching v Kev Ball. n by were FOOTBALL historians will ning happily regale you with the story still of a mal co-ordinated, untalented tails youth from Rugby School who the decided that the best way to age compete was to pick up the we spherical object that had rolled into his path and sprint headlong down the pitch. A Rugby historian me. would probably retort that the king opposition instinctively drove him to and the floor and while he lay haplessly that on the wrong side of the ruck, or a slippered him to within an inch of his to life. The keen rivalry that has at: developed between Rugby and Football was once again brought to the fore when idiotic officials decided n on to hold England vs Sweden football ON October 31st many hobgoblins, nder friendly at the same time as England witches and ghouls were seen eive vs Australia at Rugby. For many the scampering away from the choice was a clear-cut decision based Bedford Place area. Those that were on upbringing or moral fibre. later questioned by the Wessex Scene heck Fortunately for me I never had to said they had just witnessed a sight so now make the decision because I was terribly horrific that they may never that otherwise engaged. Had I not been, I be the same again. One onlooker has feel the Australia game would have been admitted to hospital suffering Photos: Nic Sweeny one me over predominantly because from a severe case of shock, his of its greater importance, and besides councillors have said the outlook is issy A month into the autumn semester Marjons University in their first of the evening being to wear a Football highlights are far more bleak. So what was this terrifying and the netball season is well and game of the season and drawing 28- costume made only of 2 binliners. television friendly (a fact that ITV’s sight? Men’s Rugby’s impromptu truly underway. The first match of 28 against Cheltenham last week. The Premiership has finally begun to version of “I am a Witch!” and the the season was as far back as the Also drawing last Wednesday, the learn). Amazingly, all girls ensuing “Why was he...” debacle. Walkabout Cup in the second week seconds levelled 40-40 against managed to keep their bin The first AU theme night was a of October, which, granted is only a Marjons, after losing their first The rivalry between these two sports fantastic triumph from the scantily friendly match on paper, but match against Exeter by a small bags on all night, to the has always been present within our clad Netball girls who cheekily probably the most important match deficit, and winning their second AU boys’ disappointment! own institution and the battle donned just two bin liners to the of the season on principle! Anyway, and third games against Portsmouth between maroon and navy is Football lads who looked freakishly as the Walkabout Cup is 41-19 and Plymouth 45-34. indicative of Wessex Tradition. scary in their blue jumpers and club traditionally a Freshers tournament, It hasn’t quite been a hassle free However, this year has seen a season, but with all initial teething ties. What made the night even more we were a little surprised to find the With the new AU Wednesday night marked change. Both sides have problems now resolved, the club are special was the range of people who Institute had brought along their venue being Avondale and developed a newfound respect for enjoying the new netball year, and were there. Gone are the days of BUSA first team to play one of the Academy, the netball club have been each other and thus far the Rugby 1st the new girls have settled into the Hockey, Football, Rugby, Netball two matches. Finding it a little enjoying the change of scenery and XV and Football 1st XI have both squad really well, doing the club and the Boat Club packing out Jesters suspicious that they had forgotten to making the most of the vomit free played against the same opposition at proud, both on the court and off it! and spilling out into the courtyard tell anyone this, we had to scrape dance floor, not-so-sticky-tables and the same venue for the first four covered in gunk. It was fantastic to together a scratch team (consisting availability of loo roll every time we weeks of BUSA. I am sure I am not One more thing, the netball club are see Mountaineering and Canoe Polo mainly of third team players) which, need to pee. alone when I say that it felt odd among other newcomers tearing up we can happily say, annihilated the having a mixed netball tournament stepping out against UWE at Welly on Sunday November 25th which the dance floor. opposition! The first joint social of the year with while the Rugby boys were away anyone can enter. Only two the Men’s Football Club was annihilating Seale Hayne. What is University netball/basketball As for me I went from Mummy to Similarly, the new Freshers played definitely one of the best socials the even more strange is that the banter, players are allowed per team and leper over the course of the evening an equally excellent game, thrashing two clubs have ever had. competition and comradely as my tangle of bandages became the Institute 35-23. The day must have minimum 3 men per atmosphere has led to both teams increasingly more spread. For those continued into the evening squad of 8 (one reserve player). The being the most successful Wessex Spending the entire that commented that the costume celebrations at the Walkabout in entry fee for the day is £7. Prizes sides in BUSA this season. Arrogant made me look a dash more town, where the girls managed to evening handcuffed to two will be awarded to the winning Egg Catcher? Gribbling Kev Baller? attractive...cheers! Well that said I also win the boat race against the strapping footie boys teams and a BBQ will be held after Who cares! Played 5, Won 5. could only move on to shamelessly Institute by a fair few pints! wasn’t exactly a hardship the tournament is finished followed by a few bevvies in town. For more plug another AU extravaganza. The Tigger (as many of the girls next theme night will be on As the term has continued, the club details, check the netball November 21st so remember to book has had mixed success in both discovered when very few noticeboard (situated on the first your tickets early, as demand will be BUSA and SESSA leagues. The of them went home right hand stairwell in the main high. For those of you that struggle to thirds (SESSA 1sts) have so far won Union) or see Tiger in the AU office alone!). get tickets remember Academy all four of their matches easily for more details. reserve 100 places on the doors for (Portsmouth 4ths 53-13, Portsmouth the first to turn up and queue. We 3rds 35-12, Southampton 4ths 33- Similarly the joint Netball/Men’s Lots of girls running hope that next time round the venue 17, Portsmouth 5ths 67-2) and the Rugby four-legged pubcrawl (2 around in short skirts? will be decorated and as for the theme fourths (SESSA 2nds) narrowly lost guys to each girl) was just as Come on boys, how can it’s a FUNKY 70’s NIGHT. So dust their first few games of the season, eventful, with some bizarre attempts off your flares, slip into your but thrashed King Alfred’s 38-19 at three way snogging going you refuse? platforms don your afro and get last week. In the BUSA league, the on as the night progressed. But the ready, for that night, we’re gonna first team have played their first two Halloween social was probably the make it a night to remember! matches, narrowly losing out to most interesting, the Netball theme Sarah Howell DES 1317 - Wessex DEC Issue 20/11/01 10:06 am Page 40

WESSEX SCENE WESSEX

Swessexscene.co.ukPOR 31st October 2001 - ISSUE 749 - PRICELESS T PLAYED 5 WON 5 MEN’S RUGBY TEAM TOP THE BUSA LEAGUE

WEDNESDAY 7TH points putting the game out of Wilcox showing excellent clash. However, even after this handle the pace out-wide. A special NOVEMBER Bournemouth’s reach. awareness and lines of running. haemorrhoid-busting trip the mention should be made on behalf Southampton 1st XV - 46 Intelligent and dynamic forward Another comfortable victory for Wessex boys were able to carve out of Dan Kinsey who used his flair Bournemouth 1st XV - 0 play coupled with scintillating pace Southampton sees them move three a good victory against a sizable and and skills to earn his first try for in the backs proved too much for points clear at the top of the table well-motivated side. Wessex in his third year in the 1st AFTER three wins out of three it the visitors and their quality of play with only the whipping boys Seale XV. would have been easy for and discipline soon wilted under the Hayne left to play. Although the backs and forwards Victory against Plymouth means Southampton to sit back and let Wessex onslaught. did not link as well as they have that we are now three points clear at Bournemouth play their game Wednesday 31st October done this season, everyone did their the top of their BUSA league which and earn a win against the group The second half saw only three tries job. The forwards negated Plym importantly sees teams already as Bournemouth’s frustration meant leaders. Unfortunately for the Plymouth 1st XV - 17 outh’s size advantage by working defeated by Southampton in second that ‘good clean ball’ was former Poly the SURFC were not Southampton 1st XV - 36 extremely hard and throwing and third. The 1stXV are now in a in a generous mood. frequently spoilt. Pleasingly themselves into tackles. position to win the group but will Southampton did not lose their To arrive at 3:05pm for a 3:00pm need to keep playing the exciting, pattern or reduce their efforts as A ruthless 10-minute spell at the kick-off after a five hour, 150-mile The backs showed they could running rugby that has earned them their opponents became start of the first half saw coach journey was not the best produce the goods against quality their current position. increasingly disgruntled with Nick Southampton score 24 unanswered preparation for this top of the table opposition and Plymouth could not WHAT’S INSIDE: Fight Clubs>>>Halloween AU-Style>>>Netball News