ISSUE 1633 FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London

Imperial 3rd most We need to talk about prestigious uni in UK Israel

PAGE 4 NEWS PAGE 7 COMMENT

EXAM MISHAP AS STUDENTS GIVEN TEST WITH ANSWERS AT TACHED

• First year geophysics students surprised to open file that included solutions

• Test will be replaced with coursework unit th PAGE 2 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

felix@imperial.ac.uk

Contents A word from the Editor News 3 Editor-in-Chief Grace Rahman Comment 6 his editorial has been a you’re too frightened to put your News Editor Matt Johnston Science 9 long time coming, and name to it. I know you’ve all been Nowadays, you do have to log in Comment Editors Music 12 waiting for this: the to comment on articles. You can still Tessa Davey and Vivien Hadlow FELIX view on the Labour anti- remain anonymous to other FELIX Science Editors Film 18 semitismT row. Just kidding! I can’t website surfers, but our webmasters Jane Courtnell and Lef Apostolakis think of anything I’d want to give will know who you are. You can still Arts 22 my inexperienced view on less, up or downvote comments without Arts Editors except maybe last week’s sex toy being logged in, so the people have Indira Mallik, Jingjie Cheng and Max Falkenberg TV 25 review. free reign to decide whether they What do you get when you agree with you or not. So yes, you Music Editor Clubs & Societies 27 combine controversial, emotive can still post bile. But guess what? Cale Tilford articles (no, not the sex toys) with In the last issue of term, I’m printing Film Editor Puzzles 28 exam season? Loads of angry all you dickhead’s photos on the Fred Fyles comments of course! Lord bless the front page with a big caption that Hangman 29 internet and its many dudes. I’m all says “LOOK HERE FUTURE Puzzles Editors for debate friends; debate is content EMPLOYERS”. Hamish Beck and Roxana Radu Food 30 and without content, I would cough I’m assuming the same keyboard you’re getting deleted. Just like if Food Editor and splutter, then literally die. But, heroes that scour the online you went up to one of our writers Sanjay Bhattacharya Sport 31 when you insult writers (as a boy comments calling me a slut with at the union, and shouted, “IT arguing with me under a Facebook pro-Muslim bias don’t subscribe to REALLY SEEMS LIKE YOU TV Editor Saad Ahmed status once said to me, “ad hominem my weekly leftie ramblings on page WENT TO STATE SCHOOL FELIX, Beit Quad, anyone?”, except he spelt it wrong) two of the newspaper (unless you’re BECAUSE YOU LIKE SEX AND Technical Babe Luke Granger-Brown Prince Consort Road, or spew out and out hate speech just here for the cute picture of YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET London SW7 2BB against religions or races, I have me, of course!) but people do seem EVERYTHING YOU’RE Copy Editors Tel: 020 7594 8072 to step in. Yes, that means your concerned that their comments are DOING YOUNG LADY”, they Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi and Henry Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, comment is getting deleted, brave getting deleted. Censored, even. If would like, probably throw a drink Lloyd-Laney Winship Road, Cambridge anonymous commenter! You know you attack our writers personally, at you and you’d only have yourself Registered Newspaper your argument is on point when rather than for their arguments, to blame. ISSN 1040-0711 Copyright © FELIX 2016 felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 3

NEWS [email protected] Students sign up to three year £125,000 housing contract by accident They didn’t realise they couldn’t sublet the place

Grace Rahman They run the risk of getting sued if Editor-in-Chief they don’t pay up, since the contract is a legally binding document. Their situation is made all the more urgent his week, college is by the fact that some of the students’ coming to the aid of study visas could be in danger. three Imperial students To add insult to injury, the flat is who accidentally signed unfurnished. a three year tenancy agreement for a Imperial Student Hub is believe flatT on Queen’s Gate that they can’t to be helping the students try and afford. get out of the contract. The Hub’s The house, which has three manager told FELIX that landlords bedrooms, was advertised at £800 and letting agents often tell students per week in total, which amounts to that other groups are looking at the a hefty £267 per student per week in property to pile up the pressure to its current state. sign. They also said it was “extremely Their intention was to sublet the important” to read and understand the contract and that students can bring their contract into the Student Hub if they want it checked over. To To add avoid the situation these students have got themselves into, it’s also worth asking for a break clause, so insult to you can stop the lease early if need be. It does look nice, though. “It’s a catch-22 nightmare,” one of injury, the students told FELIX. place to a couple of other students, to reading back through the contract, first month’s rent upfront, which When asked what advice they the flat is take the rent down. Unfortunately, they realise they are not allowed to amounts to around £3500. would give students to avoid they signed the contract before sublet, and so are trying to get out The students found the house, getting into similar trouble, one finding anyone else and have already of the deal. which has two bedrooms and one said, “I would tell them to talk to unfurnished paid a hefty deposit, believed to be The landlord, who lives in New large reception room, via Foxtons their parents before making big in the region of three grand. After York, has already charged them the estate agents. decisions.”

I just got my PhD, will you marry me? dorable or terrible? At Wednesday’s postgraduate graduation ceremony a student who, judging from his gown, had just completed a PhD, proposed to his girlfriendA onstage at the Royal Albert Hall. Cameras are set up that project close ups of those crossing the stage up onto a screen behind it for the audience to see. After shaking hands with the President, each student has their moment in the sun, where their post-graduation faces are shown on the big screen for all to see. Some choose to smile embarrassedly, while braver students will dane to do a thumbs-up or peace sign. This unnamed student whipped out a sign and a comically large engagement ring. How do you follow that? Judging from the scenes outside, Sharon said yes.

Photo Credit: Imperial College London th th PAGE 4 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 5

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected] rd Imperial ranked the 3 most prestigious uni in Britain Laing O’Rourke awarded another Imperial The Times Higher Education World Reputation Ranking came out this week contract Grace Rahman Editor-in-Chief This puts us The building contractor has already sponsored a centre in the Civil Engineering down one Department mperial has been named the university with the 3rd best reputation in the UK, and the place on Grace Rahman 15th best in the world. Editor-in-Chief This puts us down one place on last year’s Ilast year’s rankings, which was down one from the year before. his week it was This latest Times Higher rankings announced that the Education rankings system is based contract for the large on reputation, which is separate academics from several different tower to be constructed to their world university rankings, countries, making judgements on at the Imperial West campus will be in which Imperial places 8th in the the reputation of each university. given to Laing O’Rourke. rd T world and 3 in the UK. The placing relied on these The £76 million project will be As usual, Imperial’s British rivals academics’ perception of each to build a 34-storey block that will were Cambridge and Oxford, who university’s teaching and research. include 192 apartments, with 59 came 4th and 5th for reputation in the Each academic surveyed was asked of those reserved for “Imperial key world respectively, which is down to name up to 15 universities that workers”. According to college, two places each on the year before. they thought were the best in both these flats for staff will be priced They came after Harvard, MIT and research and teaching. Scores for below market rate. Stanford this year. Interestingly, Mate do you have a safety pin? Photo Credit: Thomas Angus these two categories were then This is the third project at the Cambridge beat Oxford for combined at 2:1 (research:teaching) White City Campus that has been reputation, despite the fact that in important for attracting the world’s Although British universities saw the most dramatic improvement to give an overall score for each awarded to the firm. The contracts the actual world rankings, not based best students and researchers, and are well-represented, Durham and in rankings, with the University of institution. Each score was then for the two buildings that make up on perception, Oxford still trumps employers’ perception of a university Bristol had both disappeared from Tokyo beating Imperial in 12th place. compared to the most commonly the £200 million ‘Translation and It’s looks alright, I guess. Photo Credit: Imperial College London Cambridge. is just as important when you’re the top 100. UCL came in just The rankings were creatednamed college (Harvard) to create Innovation hub’ which is due to Arguably, a university’s brand is trying to get a job after graduating. behind us at 20th. Asian universities after quizzing a panel of 10,000 a ranking. be finished this summer, were also Business School. The centre hosts ThinkSpace, which will run office and the Higher Education Funding still unclear which undergraduates given to the company. several PhDs. and lab space for startups. The new Council for England. will be moving from the South Laing O’Rourke is the largest In 2013 the company also began translation centre is being funded It will also house parts of the Kensington campus. privately-owned construction and sponsoring an annual prize for final by investors including Santander Chemistry Department, but it is engineering company in the UK. year projects in Civil Engineering, In 2010, it signed a deal with presented to one student a year at Imperial to launch the Centre graduation. This is set to continue Imperial A cappella group wins world championships for Systems Engineering and until 2018. Geophysics sets students exam with answers at Innovation, as part of the Civil The new White City campus and Environmental Engineering represents a huge corporate step the bottom They were even featured on the worldwide Snapchat story department, but it also has ties with for Imperial. The area will be Mechanical Engineering and the managed by the Imperial College In a classic example of exam coursework will assess the same The geophysics department told Grace Rahman the ten groups to perform at the the night, but disaster nearly struck season drama, first year geophysics learning objectives. FELIX it would “of course review Editor-in-Chief final, which was featured on the when three band members got stuck students were given a paper with the Students were starkly warned not procedures following discussions at worldwide Snapchat story. in a lift an hour before they were answers at the bottom. to tell FELIX about the incident examiners’ meetings in June 2016”. The Techtonics were up first on due to perform. Students quickly realised the and that it should stay “within these A college spokesperson told n a series of events that could On their victory, chair Will, said error and told the invigilators, who four walls”, given the media interest FELIX: “It is a College priority to have come straight out of that “trying to get the trophy back allowed the students to leave the in similar incidents in the past. adhere to the highest standards of a Glee episode, Imperial’s Three band on the flight home was nightmare”. room without starting the exam. Mishaps like this are not unheard academic integrity, ensuring that male A Cappella group, The After qualifying for the The test, which took place on at Imperial. In 2014, a EIE first year appropriate advice, support and Techtonics, managed to win first members international competition after the computers in the RSM, was paper was handed out to students guidance are in place to support Iprize at the finals of the international winning the semi-finals that uploaded as a file that also contained with the model answers stapled to students and staff. To this end competition for university A were hosted here at Imperial, the model answers. the back. After giggles from the a steering group – part of the cappella groups in New York. They got stuck in Techtonics attempted to crowdfund It will be replaced by a coursework room, the invigilators removed the Academic Standards Framework are the first ever British team to win. their flights. module and is worth 6% of first year solutions, and allowed students to - is reviewing assessment practices The competition, made famous by They were somewhat successful, marks for geophysics. continue with the test. The story and procedures across the College. the film Pitch Perfect, was held in a lift an hour raising £565 of the £6000 they According to the department, was covered by The Daily Mail. This incident will be taken into The Beacon Theatre on Broadway. needed for flights. They also used the decision to replace it with Last year second year students in consideration by the group as part Teams from North America and before the profits from sales of their album to coursework was taken after the physics department were set an of their ongoing review.” the Europe competed in several raise the money. “immediate discussions” with the impossible question in a Quantum rounds of the competition to be The group will be attending the The tower on the far left is the latest contract to be given to Laing O’Rourke. students who were due to sit the Mechanics exam, but were marked GRACE RAHMAN in with a chance of being one of performance Edinburgh fringe in August. The lads performed songs by British artists. Photo Credit: Joe Martinez Photo Credit: Imperial College London exam. It is understood that the on it anyway. th th PAGE 6 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 7

COMMENT [email protected] COMMENT [email protected] In defence of ales We need to talk about Israel Ales are heavenly elixirs that You can criticise Israel without being anti-semitic don’t need to be cold and fizzy to taste wonderful t’s like that old saying goes, and a hokey conspiracy theory. report published in April 2016, Israeli forces rarely prosecute any of ‘you wait for one anti-semitism It should also be acknowledged it was found that the number of their soldiers accused of war crimes. very Friday I pick up a scandal, and then three come that the idea that Jewish spiritual, Palestinian children arrested and Finally, the Israel Defence Forces copy of FELIX to glance along at once’. First was cultural, and political identity resides detained along the West Bank had (IDF) launched an aerial offensive at the headline, look at the election of Malia Bouattia as in the land they were forced out of doubled since October, defying in Gaza on July 8th, followed by a the centrefold to see if INUS president, whose labelling of – and indeed the idea of creating a international laws that dictate a ground offensive on July 17th. The I recognise anyone in it, quietly Birmingham as a Zionist outpost state to unite the Jewish people – parent or guardian must be present, UN has identified 538 children Ecomplain to myself that my half- was quite problematic, then came was in response to the continuous and this came along with reports of among the 1563 Palestinian hearted attempts at developing a the four-year-old posts of MP persecution of the Jewish people. child abuse by the Israeli security civilians killed. six-pack have yet to succeed, read Naz Shah saying that the people My issue comes with the fact It is also worth noting that Hangman, lament the fact that of Israel should be relocated to that these anti-semitic allegations Palestine is not an entirely passive it's only one page long, and amuse America (okay, more than a little may soon become shorthand for Politicians country – there are frequent suicide myself with the idea of running for more problematic). Finally, the nail any accusations towards the state bombings and stabbings which are FELIX Editor just to convert the Jonathan Masters in the coffin for the Labour party’s of Israel, thus denouncing any attributed to Hamas, meaning they whole damn thing into 32 pages of Writer anti-semitism problem, the former constructive discussion on foreign must be are not blameless in the conflict. Jian Li Chew Hangman 4 teh lulz (note to Grace, Mayor of London compared the policy. Ken Livingstone’s statement To any normal person, the Writer I’m not actually seriously going to intentions of Israel to that of Hitler. comparing Israel’s motivations to vocalisation of objections to the do it). Well. That is very problematic. those of Hitler was the headline- able to murder of children and the violation Which is why when, this time, This has led to calls for Jeremy grabbing statement; however, the of human rights should be able to I actually flipped through what Corbyn to address the “rife anti- rest of his statement was this: “The voice valid be placed in a public forum without the cat brought in, I saw a picture semitism” within his party, and simple fact in all of this is that Naz fear of being labelled as either racist of four beautiful, cold, gleaming indeed the left as a whole. Okay, so made these comments at a time or anti-semitic, two of the worst chalices of my favourite alcoholic how do I say this? Ken Livingstone when there was another brutal criticisms of things I could ever imagine being drink on Earth, and got deflated by was completely wrong, Naz Shah Israeli attack on the Palestinians”. called. dear Pietro’s lengthy denunciation Like me, you can enjoy classy beverages like this. Photo Credit: Brewdog posted things that should not have It is my personal opinion, and Equally, politicians must be able of it. Now, if I were not wizened been posted, but maybe, just maybe, that posed by the three figures Israel to voice valid criticisms of Israel, by the deep, harrowing abyss that pranked her colleague by telling much). snobbery (pun fully intended) not being a fan of the state of Israel mentioned in the first paragraph, for they are supposedly the ones is the 9Gag comment section, I’d her that a certain Ms Lyon was As a history and trivia buff, I have failed to see the multitudes is not anti-semitic, and has more that the State of Israel continues service towards these children. that could enact some change, have screamed out “I’m offended!”, asking for her, and gave her a phone know that ale is the traditional type of American beer lovers who hail to do with distaste for its foreign to get away with human rights In March 2016, it emerged that make them criminalise torture, hold to which my roommate would number to call, which turned out to of beer that was drunk all over the their rescue from the clutches of policy and the 50 year occupation violations that it commits in the Abd al-Fatah al-Sharif, who was those responsible for committing have said “Hi offended, I’m Dad”. be the Zoo. world before a new type of yeast was Budweiser, Coors, and Miller which than for Jewish people? name of self-defence in the 21st alleged to have stabbed an Israeli war crimes accountable. However, Instead, I accept his concession to In complete disagreement with introduced, giving rise to lagers. This they had to gulp down for decades century. soldier, was executed with an assault if every time we try to have a accept people who love ales, but my dear Pietro, I believe that ale is was the stuff the ancient Egyptians with tears in their eyes. It is the Here is a quick rundown of those rifle after being wounded. This has constructive conversation about the most heavenly exquisite elixir drank, and which your ancestors passionate, can-do, experimental Israel committed in the last 12 months, been re-ordered and a legal case to Israel it is shut down by either brewed by angels and unicorns. probably drank (But not mine. attitude of brewers who made according to Human Rights Watch prosecute the soldier in question for offensive racial slurs or a reluctance Heavenly Being unable to rely on being ice Mine drank tea), and when the time America great again, in the hard or Amnesty International: In a war crimes continues; however, the to criticise, then what’s the point? cold or fizzy like lager in order to came for everything to change, the work, value-adding type of way, not continues exquisite actually taste good, it tastes good British, in a quintessentially British in the build a wall and encourage on its own merit. Every wholesome, move, decided to stay out of it. xenophobic racism while waving to get away rich, textured drop is a delight to On your point about how ale ruins your tiny orange hands kind of way. elixir the senses, and, being heavy, I feel nights out, I respectfully disagree, In short, we get it Pietro. You don’t like I’m having a real, proper drink it’s the only thing that allows me to like ales, its fine, but you don’t need with the which feels like a full meal instead go on nights out. Beer is about the to rub it in everyone’s faces. But, as a brewed by of the bad lager, which, devoid of only alcoholic drink I can tolerate Malaysian speaking to an Italian, let all content, serves only to get you before my alcohol flush kicks in and me extend an olive branch of peace, human angels and wasted. It’s not that I don’t like turns my face redder than the on and while we can agree to disagree lager. Hoegarden, Carling, Tsingtao my first date. It’s the only alcoholic on ales, we can both agree on two rights and London Lager (the yellow tap drink that tastes good on its own. I very important points. English food unicorns at Eastside) are definite beauts, mean if vodka tasted good instead is boring, and Budweiser tastes and I can swallow down Carlsberg, of potato juice with a strong hint absolutely disgusting. violations it then, I’m bored out of my wits and Heineken and Stella anyday, but of industrial solvent, you wouldn’t am looking for something to divert ales are in a whole different league. need to mix it in with coke to hide me from cold, hard reality. Coming from a country where the the taste. Also, I can’t afford whisky commits Now some of you may wonder local alcoholic scene consists of the and good wine, and I don’t dare try Also, I why I’m doing this. Why are you world’s second highest alcohol tax the hard liquor China passes off as One of the principal problems is picking a fight for no reason and after Norway, a piteous selection beer (Moutai, anyone?). can’t afford that the term ‘Zionist’ carries the belabouring a dumb, moot point? of lagers (Carlsberg, Heineken, And don’t get me started on craft baggage of centuries of anti-semitic To which I reply that I descend from Tiger and not much else), a large beers. Don’t you denounce craft sentiment in the form of the belief a family in which my father met population of teetotallers and social beers! They’re the one thing that whisky and that Jewish people are part of some my mother when he gatecrashed a disapproval, the UK is a dream! I’d rescued the American beer industry shadowy organisation that controls wedding my mother was attending, never seen more than five taps at a by flooding it with actual, quality good wine the world from behind the scenes – and one in which my mother bar before (granted I don’t go out beverages. You, in your spirited obviously this belief is anti-semitic Why can’t we all just get along and stop committing war crimes? Photo Credit: Al Jazeera th PAGE 8 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

COMMENT [email protected] Can men advise on how to respond to sexual harassment? Come back to me when you’ve had years of practice

icture the scene: A friend sympathising with how annoying, what, then, was I supposed to say? of yours has just told you upsetting or scary it was. Should I have smiled and laughed When you about an experience of However, I’ve noticed a trend in along, reinforcing their belief that theirs, one in which they some of my male friends’ responses their comments were acceptable, all experienced discrimination, and when I come to them to vent about the while itching to leave as quickly don’t face Pthey’re pissed off. Why did they tell some random guy who felt the as possible? you? So you could explain to them need to tell me how attractive (or I have tried this strategy and it how their reaction to the situation not) I was: telling me I should have does not work. You cannot play sexual was wrong, right? behaved differently. along forever; there comes a time It’s not news that many women I recently came home frustrated in any situation like this where you harassment have to deal with a whole lot after having almost identical have to tell the harasser “no”. You of harassment based on their conversations with two men on ignore them, you tell them you’re gender. Sometimes it’s obviously the way home, both of whom took in a hurry, you tell them you’re not on a regular Vivien Hadlow misogynistic (“I like the way issue with my ignoring them when interested, that you don’t want to Comment Editor your tits bounce“) and sometimes they “just wanted to give [me] a give them your number, that you it’s more subtle (“you should compliment”, wanting to have a bit want them to stop talking to or basis it is smile, beautiful”). It’s the kind of of a rant and get on with my day. touching you, that you are ‘taken’, harassment that, on the whole, My friend, a man, was naturally and sometimes one of these is harder to men don’t experience, and it can be difficult to convey just how prevalent a problem it is – which is empathise why it’s important to talk about it. When I talk to my friends – male or female – about being harassed, what with how it I’m looking for is support. I have been told multiple times by harassers feels (and some family members) that if I dressed differently I’d be left alone. I have been told this while covered is harder to empathise with how apart from the face and hands. It’s it feels, so it’s infuriating when bullshit. men give helpful comments such Although I know that it’s not as “I’d be so sassy [in response to my fault when I get harassed, it’s harassment] if I were a woman”, important to me that my friends “why didn’t you just say you had a reinforce this, instead of somehow boyfriend?” or “I don’t get it, he’s just making me feel responsible; in talking to you.” this, most of my friends are great, Sometimes “no” isn’t all you gotta say. Photo Credit: radioactivecookies.com If you’re a man and a woman is indignant on my behalf and telling you about a time when she on my side, but criticised my enough, but sometimes not, and got harassed, there are a couple of response, saying that I “shouldn’t get there is no one phrase which will things you should know: First, there so confrontational”. instantly deter further attention. In are countless other instances she There is no To clarify, I had told the men that short, there is no right way to react. hasn’t told you about. This is not their comments were unwanted Of course, the primary concern the only time. one phrase and unsolicited – I didn’t raise my should always be personal safety, Second, you cannot know how voice, swear, or even respond until but when this happens on a regular you would respond in her shoes they became verbally aggressive basis, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” because you have not experienced which will when I ignored them. That’s not starts to taste increasingly sour in those countless other instances. to say I didn’t want to, but for me, your mouth. So, sometimes, you Don’t try to tell her what she should an encounter like this is a mental get “confrontational” by pointing have done, but be responsive to her instantly battle between “I want to provoke out that you’re not interested feelings – if she’s telling you because this person into reconsidering their in a stranger’s thoughts on your it was funny, agree that it was funny, deter further behaviour” and “I don’t want to appearance. and if she’s telling you because it provoke this person into becoming I know that my friend was just upset her, agree that it was upsetting. violent” – the latter generally taking concerned for my welfare, and his Don’t tell her that her emotions are attention precedence. When these men advice given with good intentions, wrong, and definitely don’t tell her became angry at being ignored, I felt but when you don’t face sexual that she’s overreacting and it wasn’t my safest option was to engage. But harassment on a regular basis it harassment at all. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 9

SCIENCE [email protected]

100,000 species unknown for Science& the City

umans have always looked up at the sky every known species on Earth in awe and fascination. For thousands of Lef Apostolakis estimate said. Indeed in a rapidly years we’ve searched for light and Science Editor changing world undergoing another Hguidance in its movements, while mass extinction, identifying new hanging our fables and myths on species is crucial. the celestial bodies like regal robes. esearchers from the IU Uncovering diversity on Earth, And little wonder – almost all of Bloomington College has been a task many studies have the elements in our bodies are made of Arts and Sciences attempted. However past estimates from cosmic stardust, spewed out believe there could be have either grossly fallen short from the fiery bowels at the hearts around a trillion species inhabiting of the true magnitude of earth’s of stars billions of years ago. As the Rour humble planet, one hundred diversity, or have completely ignored astronomer and philosopher Carl thousand times more than the microbial communities. Sagan quoted famously, “We’re species we currently know of. Of That’s not to say such approaches made of star stuff.” course, the vast majority of these were unjustifiable. Naturally We’ve used the skies to navigate undiscovered species are microbes, numbers of some species are lands and seas, to determine the still this new estimate tremendously easier to calculate than others. For With over 200 genera they still only represent a fraction of Earth’s diversity. earth is round, to learn about Earth’s example we know of approximately Photo Credit: Picturepest physical history 5000 mammal species and the For the past few centuries, Estimating likelihood of there being a large a variety of sources and ecological developed a new antibiotic, the first the development of science and hidden repository of undiscovered theory to create this new, rigorous in 30 years, by successfully culturing technology has accelerated our mammals somewhere in the world estimate. In total a mega-sample a gram negative soil bacterium. understanding of the vast unknown the number is highly unlikely. Additionally, of 5.6 million species from 35,000 More importantly they developed a universe, its complex laws and there is a positive relationship locations across the globe was infinite horizons. With the between small body size and high compiled, from 35,238 distinct abundance of technology in our of species diversification rates, meaning that efforts sampling everything from Of those lives we may take it for granted, but groups of smaller organisms tend bacteria, archea and fungi, to trees, landing a man on the moon was to have more species. This is why birds and mammals.. no easy feat in the 1960’s. So why on Earth there are so many more invertebrate They suspected that aspects of cataloged haven’t we gone back? We answered species in comparison to mammals, biodiversity would scale with the the call of the sea and promise birds or even reptiles. At the same abundance of individual organisms, of distant lands, so why have we is among time, the smaller the organism in and indeed found a powerful trend species, run back to safety from when we question, the higher the chance it of biodiversity changes across scale dipped our toes in the cold shores the great has been overlooked, which is what of abundance. of the cosmic ocean? We’ve made makes microbial diversity especially This estimate is coming at only about and sent objects into space that tricky to estimate. an interesting point of our have now passed the edge of our challenges “Until recently, we’ve lacked the understanding of microbial services. solar system – 12 billion miles away, tools to truly estimate the number For example recent studies have 10,000 but human exploration has been of microbial species in the natural shown that the human virome (the limited. Certainly there are massive in biology environment,” Lennon points community of viruses that are part have ever challenges to overcome in advancing out. “The advent of new genetic of our bodies microflora) may have our technological capacity. broadens our understanding of sequencing technology provides an beneficial effects on our health. In The greatest challenge of all Earth’s biodiversity. unprecedentedly large pool of new 2014 it was shown that a strain of been grown however, is money. In a world “Estimating the number of information. Murine norovirus in mice, is more where money is wasted for violent species on Earth is among the great The IU scientists used athan just a non-intrusive genetic objectives and polluting the delicate challenges in biology,” Lennon, one combination of microbial, plant and hitch hiker, but actually helps restore in a lab ecosystems of our planet; exercising of head scientists behind the new animal community datasets from damage done to the intestine and our vast intellectual capacity, with immune system. More importantly technique which allows the culture the potential to answer the deep the virus is genetically transmitted of ‘unculturable’ microbes in lab human drive for exploration is from parents to offspring, meaning conditions. largely ignored. In the US alone, the the benefits associated with carrying So far less than 10 million species 2011 military budget was almost the virus become genetic. of microbes have been classified. $200 billion USD higher than the Another important service “Of those catalogued species, entire NASA budget over 53 years microbes offer is acting as potential only about 10,000 have ever been from 1958-2011. It’s disappointing sources of new meds. This becomes grown in a lab, and fewer than that we are not pressuring our particularly important if we think 100,000 have classified sequences,” governments to increase funding for about the progressing antibiotic Lennon said. “Our results show this kind of awe-inspiring research, crisis. More and more infections that this leaves 100,000 times more to help us understand more and are developing antibiotic resistance microorganisms awaiting discovery more clearly our place amongst the and becoming super-bugs. Last -- and 100 million to be fully beautiful and mysterious bodies of September, a strain of Super- explored. Microbial biodiversity, the cosmos. gonorrhea started spreading it appears, is greater than ever Diatoms are one of the most diverse taxons on Earth. Photo Credit: Picturepest around Leeds. Last year, scientists imagined.” NAOMI STEWART th th PAGE 10 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 11

SCIENCE [email protected] SCIENCE [email protected] Science, what’s good? Sh!t Sc!ence Jane Courtnell The key to eternal youth is being ginger... kind of MARIANNE GUENOT Science Editor Plankton hitch DNA as data New marker for Air rage fueled hikes currents storage unit autism found by class wars At Sh!t Sc!ience, we believe that solely on pictures of their faces, sequence, an entire human all science, no matter how stupid it the scientists cross-referenced the genome can now be sequenced The cost of When we consider the impact of Where would you store your data? When it comes to the best Forget road rage, what about sounds, has a purpose and adds to ‘perceived age’ with differences in days. This staggering progress climate change on our oceans, we Magnetic tapes? Hard drives? What treatments available for autism, air rage? As flying is becoming the sum of human knowledge. This in their cohort’s genotypes. They has encouraged the hope that antibiotics often think of overfishing or coral about DNA? It is possible to store early intervention is key. Despite more and more frequent for many, week: the science of gingerness. found one gene that could be through the reading of our bleaching. People rarely consider and retrieve, say, 10,000 GB worth this, autism in most children is it is important we understand You’ll have seen this story. From associated with youthful looks, genomes, we would finally be aradoxically, antibiotics the impacts on drifting planktonic of data in a tiny pink DNA smear not diagnosed until they’re four what gets us so hot and bothered Prince Harry to Julianne Moore, the MC1R gene. This gene codes able to predict and prevent are essential for fighting species, invisible to the human eye. at the end of a test tube. DNA years of age, when challenges in under our seatbelt. Long queues, the honorary heads of the ginger for the melanocortin1 receptor, a disease. Programs such as the bacterial infections, but Their lack of observability should, stores data in a code of A,T,C and communication, social disabilities, delayed flights, little leg room are committee are strewn across the protein which regulates the ratio Rotterdam study, the Leiden they also make our bodies however, not lead to disregarding Gs. Computers store data in a digit and repetitive behaviour patterns only a few of the inconveniences most reputable science sections. of pheomelanin (a blond or red Longevity study and the Twins more prone to further infection. their importance. Drifting plankton code of 0s and 1s. If you produce become apparent. Researchers at that drive up our cortisol levels. The reason? Ice cold revenge! It is pigment) to eumelanin (a brown UK studies, have provided PNew research at the University of comprise the oceans “lungs”, and nucleotide strands in the lab, UT Southwestern medical centre However, new research conducted now scientifically proven that even or black pigment), which gives huge repositories of thousands California is trying to illuminate support fisheries across the globe. combinations can then be developed have recently identified an Autism by Katy Decelles at the University though you are growing older and hair its shading. The youthful look of genomes. This information the paradox. The chain of events Scientists at the University of to produce a code standing for Spectrum Disorder (ASD) blood of Toronto’s Rotman School of saggier by the minute (yes...you was associated with a particular allows us to filter through begins with antibiotics depleting Technology, in Sydney Australia, letters, numbers or other digital biomarker, which allows early Management and Micheal Norton are), redheads are more likely to variation of the MC1R gene. millions of bytes of data to the ‘good’ bacteria in our guts. and Imperial College London information, combining these two identification with an accuracy of of the Harvard Business School remain as baby-faced as when you These gene variant codes for a look for the elusive genes These bacteria are necessary for have been modelling how such languages. This allows compacting up to 80%. They found that boys found that air rage is more likely were making fun of them in school. melanocortin1 receptor, which in that could be responsible for the breakdown of gut -fibre which plankton drift along the ocean of information to a smaller degree with the disorder had significantly to occur when the plane has first Well… they look a bit younger. turn produces very little eumelanin, Alzheimer’s disease, the genetic produces butyrate, an essential currents to understand the impact ever artificially achieved with reduced levels of the igG1 antibody. class seats. Class inequality seems Well… by two years. Maybe not and is subsequently associated with malformation which causes the organic acid for gut lining cells. of climate change on these species. human technological developments. The 25 peptide compounds that to bring out the worst in people. the greatest payback for years of red hair. And there you have it, red terrible Parkinson’s disease, and With decreased availability of As plankton hitch a ride on ocean In addition DNA can protect the bind to igG1 serum protein were The study didn’t go into depth as mockery. hair is linked to youthful looks. also the gene that makes us look butyrate, the oxygen consumption currents, they’re often subjected to data, which can remain unchanged then analysed, and one was isolated, to why this was the case, however The study behind the finding ‘That’s it?’, I hear you cry? ‘All that younger when we’re not. That is of these cells declines, and thus temperature changes of up to 10 for thousands of years. Scientists now identified as ASD1, which previous research has indicated that was published this week by a team genetic encoding and screening for the power of Big Data, and we oxygen levels in the gut increases. °C. These exposures to various can even employ PCR techniques could diagnose the disorder with a people exhibit a decrease in general of scientists from the Erasmus that?’ I agree, but as always, this should expect to see many more These conditions favour the growth temperature changes are thought to produce large quantities of DNA 66% accuracy. Combining ASD1 well-being when they feel they are University. After asking people study actually represents a tiny step of these studies in the coming of Salmonella. The research links to play a role in how plankton may strands increasing the chance that with measures of thyroid stimulating treated unfairly or unequally. So if Money can’t buy this pale, creamy baby-face babes. Photo Credit Noodles to estimate the age of the 2693 in a much bigger endeavour. While years. levels of butyrate-producing respond to climate changes. So any the DNA strand picked contains the hormone levels subsequently airlines want to ensure smoother and Beef members of their cohort based the first genome took 13 years to microbes to inflammatory bowel previous studies will probably need information we want. The future of increased accuracy of identification flights for their passengers, they disease. Further research is needed to re-evaluate their predictions storage is here and it’s genetic. to 73%. However, more testing must may want consider doing away with though to see if Salmonella is the take into account these effects. be carried out for further validation. classes altogether. sole culprit. Natasha Khaleeq Doblin et al. 2016 @ PNAS Bornholt et al. 2016 @ Association Deng et al. 2016 @ Scientific DeCelles et al. 2016 @ PNAS Writer Byndloss et al. 2016 @ Cell host & for Computing Machinery reports This week’s science picture Microbe Halley’s Comet, a ball of ice and rock left over from the creation of the Milky Way, only makes an appearance every 75 years, so sadly AlexandraIs Lim it time for a move to frozen foods? we have to wait until 2061 before we compared to its fresh counterparts, are preserved for several months in the fridge than if you chuck your a good idea to leave things like get another glimpse of it. However, Writer hence the less hefty price tags. foods such as blueberries. Similarly loaf into the freezer. mushrooms and lettuce out of the we are in the midst of meteor A recent study illuminated the vitamins such as riboflavin (B1) and Of course, we still have to be a picture. Otherwise, most anything shower. Earth is twirling though the very reason why we should resolve Vitamin C are not only successfully little picky. Freezing creates ice can be frozen, including meat, fish, tail of Halley’s Comet. Therefore, it reakfast this morning got our issues with anything that’s not preserved, but can even be found in crystals, and the more water content bread, and even most aromatic is inevitable that tiny debris falling me thinking. It merely ‘fresh and whole’. Food stored at higher quantities in frozen foods a fruit or vegetable has, the bigger spices. Go ahead– freeze it up! into our atmosphere will burn up involved microwaving -20oC in the freezer compared to than in fresh produce. these ice crystals, so it would be leading to a month-long annual frozen bread prior to that stored at 4-5oC locks in many Bread’s another good example spectacle called Eta Aquarids. making French toast, but the more key nutrients and antioxidants. highlighting the value of freezing. Lucky stargazers in the southern Bnonchalant routine reminded me We could be doing ourselves a This is how it works: Before baking, hemisphere will witness 30-40 to extol the virtues of frozen food, world of good just by freezing more starch granules in dough are meteors flying through the night something I think many of us tend seasonal fruit and vegetables this geometrically arranged, but this nice sky per hour whereas the northern to overlook. way. We enjoy all the nutritional geometry is changed once water is stargazers will see 10-20. The best Sadly, the modern consumer is goodness they have to offer without added to the mix and dough is left time to view this spectacle is in early inclined to look down on frozen having to sacrifice any volume. to rise before baking. Starch absorbs hours of morning before twilight, goods. We scoff at the stiff-edged Note the word ‘seasonal’ here. the water and the granules take on a 5th - 7th May. A dark remote spot bags roughly clumped together in Freezing produce that has to go at more irregular form. They however away from light pollution is a better the freezer aisles, associating the some point, or tastes better at one start to undergo recrystallisation place to witness the shower but you ‘less-for-more’ prices with poor time of year than another, will let us after baking, the cooling process won’t need any fancy astrophysics quality and unnecessary teeth enjoy all the most desirable flavours allowing the granules to revert back equipment if you decide to. Don’t breaking. Truth be told, the lower and textures for as long as we want. to a more regular geometry. The worry if you miss it this time as late prices are not in any way linked to It was found that many anthocyanin continuous recrystallization process October will provides the Orionid poorer quality. Frozen food is simply flavonoids (that help protect our is what contributes to staling, which meteor shower. A long exposure shot of a meteor shower from Groningen. Photo Eddie Yip much cheaper to produce and sell livers and decrease blood pressure) unfortunately occurs much faster in Eat your frozen veggies kids. Photo Credit: Rosana Prada th th PAGE 12 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 13

MUSIC [email protected] MUSIC [email protected] A guide to Eurovision 2016 The top ten countries to look out for at this years Eurovision Song Contest

fter Måns Zelmerlöw’s history, and it’s set to be a big one! 42 countries will participate, from the competition. Portugal favourites, I’m not even bitter). victory for Sweden in We’ll also see a massive change with Australia being welcomed are not returning this year and Here are my top ten songs to keep Cyprus France Sweden Bulgaria Estonia Vienna last year, this year to the voting system, with each back after their debut as a special Romania were disqualified at the an eye out for, comprised of some sees “Europe’s favourite country awarding two sets of points guest last year as well Bosnia and last minute due to non-payment of of the bookies’ favourites as well as TV show” head to Stockholm for each: one from their televote, one Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia and debts to the European Broadcasting some of my own, in no particular theA third time in the competition’s from their professional jury. Ukraine returning after absences Union (their song was one of my order:

Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision

Minus One Amir Frans Poli Genova Jüri Montenegro Malta Australia Latvia Russia ‘Alter Ego’ ‘J’ai Cherché’ ‘If I Were Sorry’ ‘If Love Was A Pootsmann Minus One are representing Being a member of the Big Five, This year’s host nation takes Crime’ ‘Play’ Cyprus with ‘Alter Ego’, one of the France automatically qualifiesEurovision seriously. Very few rock songs this year. Eurovision for the final, and this year it’s set seriously. Their selection process, Bulgaria first entered Eurovision If George Ezra were to perform can be a tough place for rock groups to finish in the top three. Amir Melodifestivalen, is one of the most in 2005, and has only gotten to a song by Gary Barlow, you’d have who aren’t dressed up as monsters, will sing ‘J’ai Cherché’, an upbeat, watched shows in the Swedish the final once. They’re returning to Estonia’s entry this year. The deep- but I think ‘Alter Ego’ has enough catchy, feel-good song that’ll get the television calendar and is probably the contest for the first time since voiced Jüri Pootsmann will sing pop influence to qualify for the final, arena going and the viewers voting. the most rigorous selection process 2013, sending Poli Genova to sing ‘Play’, and I love it. Dark, subtle and I love it! Cyprus has never won Though it’s not in my personal in Europe. This year, by some ‘If Love Was a Crime’. A returning and jazzy, it’s one of my top songs the competition before, in fact the top three, I wouldn’t be sad to see miracle, Frans and his song ‘If I artist, Poli represented Bulgaria this year. It’s not expected to do Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision Photo Credit: Eurovision best they’ve ever placed is fifth. They this win. After all, Paris is pretty Were Sorry’ won and will represent in 2012, failing to qualify. This particularly well, but I’ll class it don’t look set to beat that this year close to London (somewhere the Sweden. By an even bigger miracle, year she’s set to do well with this qualifying for the final as a success. but a top ten finish for this song competition definitely won’t be held it’s third favourite to win. How upbeat, powerful anthem. I’d like Go Jüri! Highway Ira Losco Dami Im Justs Sergey would be a success. next year). what I think is a painfully boring, to see Bulgaria place in the top five, monotonous, middle-of-the-road because I love the song. ‘The Real Thing’ ‘Walk On Water’ ‘Sound Of ‘Heartbeat’ Lazarev song is so popular is a mystery to me. Nonetheless it’ll definitely I loved Montenegro’s song last Ira Losco represented Malta in Silence’ Latvia are sending Justs with his ‘You Are The make the top five, maybe make the year despite the odds of it winning 2002, placing a very impressive 2nd song ‘Heartbeat’, a song that I’m top three and could well win. being 100/1. This year the odds are in the final. Fourteen years later and Before you go rummaging through not all too enamoured with. Using Only One’ 500/1 but again there’s something she’s back again! She’ll be singing your GCSE Geography textbooks, I up all of its potential with a great about it that I can’t get enough of, ‘Walk On Water’, a punchy, crowd- know, Australia isn’t in Europe and first verse that wouldn’t sound out Russia came second last year, much probably the driving guitar riff of pleasing song that’s one of the no, I haven’t misspelled Austria. of place on a Metronomy album, to the dismay of the arena, with the chorus. ‘The Real Thing’ by favourites to win. I’m less convinced, Eurovision is massively popular the song soon turns into a slightly ‘anti-booing technology’ having to Highway is a powerful but cheesy, finding it a little forgettable, but it’s down under and so they were tedious club anthem that somehow be employed for the first time in rock-come-dubstep song that sure to place in the top ten. Can Ira allowed to enter the competition last both ends abruptly whilst also the competition’s history. This year probably won’t qualify for the final, beat her 2002 attempt and bring year as a special guest to mark the making three minutes seem like a they’re favourite to win, sending but will certainly get the arena Eurovision 2017 to Valletta? It’s a 60th anniversary of Eurovision, being long time. However it’s shown early Sergey Lazarev to sing ‘You Are going during the semis. Then again, definite possibility! told that they could only come back potential with fans and it’ll most The Only One’, a song that is pure Montenegro beat the odds last year again if they won. They came fifth, likely place in the top ten, maybe Eurovision. With its infectiously and ended up not only qualifying but Europe enjoyed having them so even the top five. catchy chorus and driving beat for the final, but also placing a very much that we welcomed them back that’ll have everyone at home’s toes respectable 13th. Can Highway do as a regular contestant anyway. This tapping, it’s a really solid song. the same this year? (I doubt it.) year they aren’t messing around, sending Dami Im to sing ‘Sound Of Silence’, a powerful anthem that’s almost sure to place in the top five.

And I’ve not forgotten about the the song, ‘You’re Not Alone’ by Joe We’ll struggle to get out of the other songs in this year’s contest. material: the semi-finals take place United Kingdom! For the first year and Jake, but it’s a tad forgettable bottom five this year, maybe we’ll 18 will perform in each of the semi on the 10th and 12th of May, with the I’ve not included the UK in my list, and isn’t helped by us not being too even place last. But that’s nothing finals, with ten from each joining the Grand Final following on Saturday because our chances of doing well popular with Europe at the moment new, and it’s all part of the fun! Big Five plus Sweden in the Grand the 14th. Don’t miss it! are particularly slim this year. I like (owing to a certain referendum). And that’s not all. There are 31 Final. The perfect procrastination JAMIE THOMAS th th PAGE 14 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 15

MUSIC [email protected] MUSIC [email protected] Another year, another Death Grips leak Where are all the women in hip-hop? Henry Eshbaugh Ben Collier One need only look to the career Writer Being a Writer trajectory of Nicki Minaj from ‘Playtime is Over’ to ‘Anaconda’ to see how this ‘sex sells’ ideology he most avant-garde of Death ith hip hop, as a ends up shaping the output of the avant-garde rap groups genre and a culture, majority of female MCs. has leaked yet another passing its 40th album: Bottomless Pit. Grips fan anniversary in And it’s exactly what you’d expect. recent years, a female presence is as Female It’sT so good it’s bad. It’s so bad it’s involves absentW as ever. This is, of course, not good. And it’s self-aware. We’ve for a lack of talent. Ignoring some reached peak irony, and I for one examples like Iggy Azalea and rappers love it. Kreayshawn, there is a lot of female The band is hard to pin down grueling talent to be found in the realm of hip stylistically. Clearer influences hop music. But when I go onto the rarely talk are dishwashers and industrial masochism featured rap artist page on Spotify I motors. If one listens carefully, they only see two women (Missy Elliot may discern MC Ride rapping, and MC Lyte) and around 60 men. about sex gibberish-ing, and occasionally United States,’ delivered with Ride’s As someone who wants to see more screaming incoherently. Flatlander, trademark insanity. Like, really? Lauryn Hills in the world, I really Lil Kim, Missy Elliot, Lauryn Hill and Foxy Bronwn. Photo Credit: Vibe Magazine sometimes known as “Andrew,” Incoherent screaming and pledges have to question why this is. from any produces, and is possibly having that “You’re fit to learn the meaning The obvious answer ties into ideas totally different. With a few notable verse on ‘Monster’ isn’t it? In the end, asking why there aren’t a seizure at the mixing board of a beat down” (‘No Love’ off NO of masculinity. Traditionally, hip- exceptions (e.g. Missy Elliot’s This masculine culture is shaped more women in hip hop seems to (someone should check on him). LOVE DEEP WEB) grace his hop music is synonymous with ideas position of ‘Work It’) the way in which most by both the artists and the fans. be comparable to asking why there Zac Hill puts down drum tracks performance. Ride’s artistic touch of toughness, bravado and the ‘alpha female MCs talk about sex just The success of rap songs nowadays aren’t more black country singers. I that sound like Questlove on has left every Death Grips album male’. This creates a culture where shows us men’s sexual fantasies from is largely determined by internet think there is hope though; perhaps crack – you might know him from to date littered with primal violence. any aspiring female MC must be a power the other side. Female rappers rarely communities mostly made up with a progressive movement away Hella, or a one-off with Weiss and “IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES “boss ass bitch” in order to be taken talk about sex from any position of young males. These groups from the ‘gangster rap’ culture of Cameron (you know, Pearl Jam and IT GOES / GUILLOTINE!” seriously. This is true for gangster of power. “You can fuck my girls are perhaps not the most open the past towards the sound and Soundgarden) featuring nothing And yet, it all fits together. At the rap anyways. As for the mainstream, Ultimately, whilst the topic of sex too, daddy I’m-a condone it” and to listening to female MCs. As philosophies of rappers like Chance but drums, appropriately titled service of the band is a boatload of any women that do make it big are is something which features heavily “yes you be the boss, and yes I be a result of this, hip-hop culture the Rapper, Lupe Fiasco and J. ‘Drumgasm’. talent, and a healthy sense of irony often hypersexualised in an effort to in the lyrics of a lot of male rappers, respecting” are literal Nicki Minaj remains very accepting of a lot of Cole we’ll see more women come The band is erratic. This is their first and self-consciousness. Combined appeal the average male hip hop fan. the way it is approached here is lyrics. It’s a world away from her misogynistic language and ideas. up. I hope so anyway. effort after their pledged breakup. with punk ethos, the one sentence “We are now at our best and so that comes to mind to describe the Death Grips is over.” “Plz give us group is, “Eh, screw it, why not?” A bottomless balloon pit? Photo Credit: Death Grips more,” cried the internet. “You’re Each past effort has succeeded in right, we might do another,” said the past because you don’t expect their sound in new directions. Also, ‘Warping’ is if a bad acid trip without meaning? If I were better at the band. Being a Death Grips fan it to – it’s perfectly composed, and Ride’s rapping has become was a song. philosophy, I could tell you how this involves grueling masochism; the hideous at the same time. ingrained into the texture of the The lyrics are best described as the is all an excellent criticism of late cancelled shows, their evasive nature And now, the new album. song. The stuttering beats on ‘Three incoherent ravings of a psychopath. capitalism or something, but I think Send your hot-takes, Kanye (having done, to my knowledge, Bottomless Pit is... exactly what Bedrooms In A Good Neighbors’ I’d repeat some of the stranger verses I’ll leave that to better reviewers. only one interview – with Pitchfork, you’d think would happen. ‘Hot mix with cyberpunk-esque vibes here, but Cale might think I’ve had a I dunno, man, carve out your own a few years back), and the constant Head’ is by far the most inaccessible coherently. The riff to ‘Bottomless stroke and phone an ambulance. The meaning. But there’s some neat stuff inspired rants, Radiohead push to inaccessibility with every track, complete with Ride literally Pit,’ the album’s closer, is a straight- band projects an ethos of hedonism there. new album. screaming nonsense with wild up punk banger. ‘Trash’ starts with and nihilist existentialism; why Ten years ago, this album would MC Ride’s characteristic abandon over bucking synths. The a V-I fanfare, over which Ride bother making sense in a world have been massacred by critics. loveletters, Beyoncé listicles, aggression is worthy of special synths still sound like they’re being raps unusually conventionally. On Today, they love it. Perhaps this notice. “I don’t care about real life” played out of a blown-out speaker, ‘8080808,’ they actually sample speaks to some generational divide, is the hook from the first song and Hill still serves up some pretty ‘Lock your Doors’ offNO LOVE with respect to a newfound sense off Jenny Death – titled ‘I Break gnarly drumming. DEEP WEB. “Why?”, you may ask. Why bother of irony, a fatalist zeitgeist without ironic dank memes, PC Music Mirrors With My Face In The But, the band continues to push Well, why not? regard for form, structure, or making objective aesthetics which manifests in this piss-take of “real” music. hype articles, mixtapes, and Indeed, in their break-up note, sense in Death Grips refers to themselves as a “Conceptual art exhibition, shitty demo tracks to: anchored by sound and vision, above a world and beyond a ‘band.’” Or maybe the lack of sleep from exam stress is killing me, and I have no idea what without I’m talking about. Either way, if you like the style, you won’t have more [email protected] meaning? fun with an album this year. The back cover of Death Grips latest album. Photo Credit: Death Grips Bottomless Pit is out now Joint ICUNC and RSM Netball Funday Wed 15th June at 2pm South Park, Fulham Enter a team of 7-10 people for £14 per team Prizes for best (dressed) teams! th th PAGE 18 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 19

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FILM FILMCaptain America: Civil War the conflict the film presents is far (Chadwick Boseman) and Spider- soundtrack is largely forgettable The top three more complex: in 147 minutes of Man (Tom Holland) are given fairly compared to other recent superhero superhero action and confrontation, lengthy introductions, and both films like Deadpool or any of directors Anthony and Joe Russo offer a refreshing variety to the cast DC’s output, and similarly the Son of Saul stares into the abyss Superhero Films Dir: Joe Russo, Anthonay Russo. repeatedly challenge their audience’s that goes beyond mere marketing cinematography is never more than The horror of the Holocaust is brought to life in László Nemes’ astonishing debut Script: Christoper Markus, Stephen understanding of vigilantism and tools for future films (Marvel’s Black serviceable. You would hope that a that aren’t McFeely. Starring: Chris Evans, the unintended destruction that Panther is set to be released in 2018 film with such a large budget and Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan, invariably follows, presenting us and Spider-Man: Homecoming in audience might attract someone Scarlett Johansson. 147 minutes. with flashbacks to the Avengers’ 2017). But with such a large cast with more interesting talent. While Son of Saul Marvel careless destruction in previous there is rarely time for character I would argue that comic books, and k guys, seriously now, he struggle between films. Like its comic source material, development, and we are never given by extension comic book movies, Disney is starting to good and evil – Civil War is an allegory for military an insight into how years of fighting have never been about the scenery scare me. Now that between superheroes intervention and war, and the and unintended civilian casualties in which they place their characters, Dir: László Nemes. Script: László they own ESPN, ABC, and supervillains – has worrying lack of oversight that often have affected the emotional state of but that doesn’t forgive the lack of Nemes, Clara Royer. Starring: Lucas films, Pixar AND Marvel the remained at the centre of the leads to death. Captain America the team – other than a few tears, effort. Artists pour most of their Géza Röhrig, Levente Molnár, Urs Oludicrous amount of money they MarvelT Cinematic Universe (and (Chris Evans) is a character that Captain America and his crew seem time into designing lavish, eye- Rechn. 107 minutes. make could, theoretically (and I’m blockbusters in general) since its has witnessed first-hand the evil largely unaffected. The film does catching costumes, and the outfits not saying this is a definite), fund inception in 2008’s Iron Man. of the Nazis and Hydra, whereas have the advantage of developing its of Civil War are suitably refined, Jonathan Masters a pretty decent world domination Without exception, the antagonists Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) has characters over the many adventures with new members of the ensemble Writer effort. I’m just saying. The only of the eleven following Marvel films seen how Western intervention and that have preceded it and Civil War given a large amount of focus. These way to stop this is to not give their have always represented the worst his own weapons sales can support is very much the culmination of costumes are often as much a part bloated superhero film franchise of humanity (or super-humanity), and create terror. It is these two these storylines, but without the of the film as the actors themselves, lthough admirable is an any more money. Here are some and the protagonists, while often opposing experiences and views context of previous films some parts and the new set of heroes on offer adjective too-often used alternatives: troubled, are always redeemable. that go head to head in Civil of Civil War are confusing, often will create new fans and ample to describe films whose In this marketing-driven universe War, verbally as well as physically, nothing more than fan-service. opportunity for merchandise and artistic vision falls short Watchmen (2009) there is rarely space for moral through a number of key character Many critics noted the excellent product placement in the future. of the final product, there is no word ambiguity. The third film in the conversations. Viewers who have action scenes of the last Captain In Civil War, the vastness of the thatA I can think of more suited to Based on the graphic novel Captain America trilogy, Captain watched from the beginning of America and they return on a larger comic book canon is exploited to describe Hungarian Holocaust of the same name by eccentric America: Civil War, escapes this the series, and those that have any and more ambitious scale. Each full effect, with the best comic book drama Son of Saul. In most Holocaust genius Alan Moore, Watchmen mold by pitting hero against hero in understanding of history, are likely punch and kick of close combat is moments from decades of source dramas, the cinematic narrative is demonstrates that Zac Snyder is at a ‘war’ over the controversial Sokovia to enter the theatre with a range delivered with crunching realism. material composed together in a structured in order to create the least somewhat capable of making Accords which hope to establish an of opinions – but ultimately Civil The larger battles, including one truly unforgettable blockbuster. most emotionally charged story a decent superhero film, despite international body to govern and War never validates or invalidates that lasts over 20 minutes, use a It reflects the richness of the possible – to give the impression what his most recent offering might monitor superhuman activity. any of these. It’s final message is mixture of fantastical special effects comic book medium: the endless of the gravity and sheer scale of the suggest. Despite condemnation The online marketing leading up ambiguous. and witty one-liners to deliver some reinvention, massive crossovers, and Holocaust and the victims created from Moore himself (unsurprising, the release of the film asked fans The film’s best trait is possibly of the best action audiences will ever-increasing spectacle. Captain by the Nazi dictatorship. The Boy he hates all adaptions of his books) to decide whether they supported the success with which it juggles have ever seen in a comic book film. America: Civil War rewards fans for in the Striped Pyjamas comes to Watchmen actually manages to hold #TeamCap or #TeamIronMan, its massive ensemble cast (the However, the large cast can cause their dedication, offering the best mind, where everything – from the up. It’s not perfect – or as clever while posters had the two leaders cumulative result of a dozen confusion; it’s often hard to discern Marvel film to date. euphoric music, to the dialogue, as the book – but its surprising posed against each other, with their films). Veteran Avengers are given who is on what side in the frenzy right down to the nuanced acting – Géza Röhrig brings incredible intensity to Son of Saul, described by Shoah director Claude Lanzmann as the ‘anti-Schindler’s List’. Photo Credit: Sony Pictures faithfulness to the source material supporters in the background. But the majority of the screen time, of battle. CALE TILFORD is engineered in order to profit from and gorgeous aesthetics make it a unlike the marketing campaign, although newcomers Black Panther While easily forgiven, the film’s an emotional response from the and director László Nemes shows creates the world that is kept out of the audience. In one particular shot concentration camp, it would be fitting complement. audience, the cynical possibility of incredible constraint and vision sight: the screams of the people who we see a smile slowly unfold upon a mistake to label this as just a an Oscar hanging somewhere in the to resist capturing the production realise what their fate, the furnaces his face – it is shocking how simple Holocaust drama; indeed, like all Hellboy (2004) near future. In the end, these films values or showing the violent in which the bodies are burnt – all an image has stuck with me all of best stories it seeks to transpose a seem to almost trivialise the topic atrocities that occur as he performs locations are given such horrifying this week, and a testament to the familiar human experience into the Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy was of the Holocaust, and while their the tasks forced upon him as a sound design that it is impossible subtlety and mastery of Röhrig’s setting of an unfamiliar landscape. my unchallenged favourite film in aims may be noble, this method member of the Sonderkommando not to imagine what occurs just craft. It is a story about how, in the primary school. It’s not your typical lacks emotional subtlety and creates (prisoner work units at death camps, beyond the frame, adding to the Although this is a film darkest times, the ache to embrace superhero film, but its unique a work with the feeling of emotional made to assist the functioning of immersion created by Nemes. about a Sonderkommando in a traditions and to cling to them is ‘del Toro’ nature is what makes it artifice. You may have guessed that the gas chambers) such as in the Son of Saul is edited phenomenally one of the most basic human traits stand out. Today, I consider both Son of Saul is the complete antithesis opening scene where he is collecting by Matthieu Taponier, who creates Géza that exists. Whilst Saul and his the original and its sequel two of of this. It is a piece of art that will the clothes of murdered Jews. The such a tense pace that there is never a compatriots are treated as nothing the most underrated cult classics endure years to come, not just this film follows Saul as he continues in moment in which the film becomes more than animals, the traditional of all time. I promise this isn’t just past Oscar’s season. his attempt to bury the child, who portentous. Rather, Saul’s singular Röhrig’s burial that he seeks for his son is nostalgia speaking… Ok maybe it is The first indicator that this is may or not be his son. task of burying his son whilst in the a goal that drives him to afford his a bit. unique is the camera work: right from To tell this story, we go through midst of a hellish atrocity becomes a son one last shred of humanity in the opening, where titular character hell on earth, focusing on the thrilling 107 minutes of cinema. Saul seems an environment where this has been The Dark Knight (2008) Saul Ausländer (Géza Röhrig) personal pain reflected in Géza Of course, none of this would taken from them. discovers a young boy murdered in Röhrig’s face – the use of a 40mm matter unless Röhrig had the abilities Son of Saul is an experience like I don’t know why, but it feels a the gas chambers, Mátyás Erdély’s lens creates a claustrophobically to carry the film. He undoubtedly to stare into no other. Yes, it is oppressively dark bit weird putting this film on the 35mm cinematography focuses shallow depth of field that keeps has such abilities. The essential (for obvious reasons), and yes, it list. Everybody raves about it so directly on the face of Saul, whose most of the nudity and murder difference between film acting and will haunt you. But it is a cinematic much that a lot of people are bored eyes sit dark and deep in his skull, out of focus. Reinforcing this is theatrical acting is the minutia, the very experience like no other – one of of hearing about it. On the other revealing the pain he has up to this the decision to project the film in something Röhrig completely the most brutal depictions of the hand, including it makes my job point endured and continues to the academy ratio, with the near- understands: each grimace and Holocaust ever committed to film, easier because I don’t need to do any endure as the film progresses. square image further adding to the look transcends whatever subtitles soul of the and one that should be experienced convincing. The Dark Knight is one Throughout the film we rarely oppressive atmosphere. flash at the bottom of the screen, in the cinema. of the best films ever. Go watch it glimpse anything further away than Additional credit must be given to and in numerous profile shots he again. a couple of meters from Saul’s face, Tamás Záyni whose sound design seems to stare into the very soul of audience BEN COLLIER Things get emosh in the latest of the ten billion Marvel films scheduled to come out this year. Photo Credit: Marvel 2016 th PAGE 20 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

FILM [email protected] Documentary corner: Going Clear Ben Collier film one does begin to understand Writer the monumental impact they had on popularising the church. Tom cientology is not exactly Cruise in particular comes across the rarest documentary as an egotistical, Patrick Bateman- topic. Countless attempts esque character – he is very have been made in the past chummy with the current leader to expose various aspects of this David Miscavige, a Machiavellian S‘Church’ in the past – discussing its figure who seems to be focused on history or telling the stories of those massaging Cruise’s ego in order who have left its ranks. Perhaps to keep him brainwashed and the most famous documentary dedicated. Based on the archive prior to the release of Going Clear: footage, it’s possible to draw a Scientology and the Prison of Belief lot of parallels between Cruise was the BBC Panorama’s Scientology and Kim Jong-un: both appear and Me. You’ve probably seen the to be man-children surrounded clip from this programme wherein by insincere admirers, convinced the host, John Sweeney, explodes of their own self-importance. For at church member Tommy Davis, other celebrities involved in the who managed to finally get under movement, one almost gets the his skin following months of idea that they are trapped, possibly harassment. This is, unfortunately, “Ok, so 75 million years ago there was this evil dictator of the Galactic Confederacy called ‘Xenu’…”. Photo Credit: HBO blackmailed using the information the usual way these documentaries from their confessional ‘auditing’ go: any journalist who has ever out – other than the incredible level in the fearlessness with which this get a suitably in-depth exploration sessions. Overall, Going Clear is the tried to independently combat of detail it goes into – is that it’s documentary tackles its subject. of the mind of founder L. Ron most comprehensive and masterful and expose Scientology is quickly quite hands-off. The presenter, Alex Ultimately, Going Clear really Hubbard, a revealing of its shady exploration of this topic I have met with stalking, harassment, Gibney, gives us his message almost does serve as the only scientology underbelly, and even a study of ever seen. Will its oddly specific and lawsuits – some Scientology exclusively through the voices of documentary you’d need to watch the two celebrity stars of the show, ranking as my ‘favourite scientology members have even gone so far (very) high-ranking ex-members of to get a full understanding of the John Travolta and Tom Cruise. A documentary’ be toppled by Louis as to plant child pornography on the church, such as Mike Rinder. I movement. focus on these two celebrities may Theroux’s upcoming documentary, reporters’ computers. Where the think the backing of the behemoth Almost nothing is left out here: sound somewhat pointless at first, released later this year? We’ll just HBO special Going Clear stands that is HBO had some part to play we learn about Scientology’s history, but throughout the course of the have to see.

Launch Event Friday 13 May 17:30 - 01:00

All students are invited to check out the new and improved Reynolds Bar! There will be free pizza, refreshing cocktails and a DJ from 20:00.

Go to facebook.com/reynoldsbarcx for more information

imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on friday 6 may TASTER EVENT FRIDAY 6 MAY | 20:00 - 02:00 ALL BEIT BARS FREE ENTRY BEFORE 20:00 £2.50 AFTER | £1.50 FACEBOOK GUEST LIST

FEATURING

The Bandeoke Experience is karaoke that has evolved into something far more exciting! Instead of performing with a machine you have the opportunity to strut your stuff with a live professional band! They’ll be performing alongside our headliner and student acts at the Summer Ball on Saturday 18 June. coming up! Date Event Time Location Monday 9 May Nice & Spiky Comedy 20:00 - 23:00 Union Bar Every Tuesday Super Quiz 20:00 - 22:00 FiveSixEight Every Tuesday Cocktail Night 18:00 - 23:00 Metric Every Wednesday CSP Wednesday 19:00 - 01:00 Metric & FiveSixEight Every Wednesday Sports Night 19:00 onwards Reynolds

1st & 4th Thursday of Pub Quiz 19:00 - 21:00 h-bar each month

1st & 3rd Thursday of Quiz Night 19:30 - 22:00 The Foundry each month

2nd and 4th Friday Karaoke Night 20:00 - 23:30 The Foundry of each month

Every Friday PGI Friday 16:00 onwards h-bar Every Friday Reynolds Cocktail Club 17:30 - 00:00 Reynolds Friday 6 May Summer Ball Taster Event 20:00 - 02:00 Metric & FiveSixEight Friday 13 May BPM 20:00 - 02:00 Metric & FiveSixEight

Friday 20 May iPop 20:00 - 02:00 Metric & FiveSixEight imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on th th PAGE 22 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 PAGE 23

ARTS [email protected] ARTS [email protected] People, Places and Things The Suicide The National’s unpredictable triumph is revived in style at the Wyndham’s Theatre An adaptation of the Erdman classic amuses and underwhelms in equal measure Max Falkenberg Arts Editor

he National’s latest modernisation of an old classic, The Suicide has all the potential of a biting satirical comedy with little of the finesseT or foundation to really pull it off. While the laughs are frequent and at times provocative, the play struggles to maintain its momentum and leaves little of an underlying narrative. The laughs are often cheap and hastily stereotyped

Suhayla El-Bushra’s adaptation The cast of The Suicide all fighting for Sam’s attention. Photo Credit: Johan Persson of Nikolai Erdman’s great second play, The Suicide concerns a young all urge him to do the right thing him shine. With a solid supporting National, the set is a highlight of stylised dystopian backdrop, man, Sam, whose brief thought – die for the benefit of their cause. cast including the likes of Paul Kaye the production with all the frills and frequent use of multimedia and of ending his life is compounded Played by the boisterous Javone and Ashley McGuire, the overall flair of big budget theatre. However, drum solo soundtrack all bear by an outpouring of support. The Prince of PhoneShop fame, Sam is presentation is enjoyable, but not despite its impressive appearance, it uncanny resemblance to the community, in all the shapes and soft and charming, but lacking the exactly special. feels oddly unoriginal. Thinking back production features in Golem – a Best Actress winner Denise Gough in her as a drug addict in People, Places and Things. Photo Credit: Johan Persson sizes of a London council estate, direction that would really make As is so often the case at the to the shows of 2015, The Suicide’s personal highlight from last year’s calendar. Jingjie Cheng young drug addict seeking help at a and morphed, and an identically- drug habit. “How can you sit here Denise Gough carries her The Suicide is far from boring, Arts Editor drug rehabilitation clinic. Although dressed receptionist popped up pretending that everything is going unpredictable character brilliantly. but the play fails to take that step not an uncommon narrative, this beside the first as the protagonist to be alright when there are people At times, she is a fiery ball of anger above and beyond the comedy. The production wins with the intensity speaks to him in her drug-addled starving in the world?” she asks the eloquently rebutting everything the laughs are often cheap and hastily s I sat placidly in with which we are immersed in it, state. Indeed, much of the action therapist. “Drugs are the only way therapists and her fellow addicts tell stereotyped – for what should be a my seat waiting for especially in the mind of the girl happens when the ensemble of to make me feel authentic, give me her, at other times she’s a tormented fiery political satire, the comedy is a the play to start, the herself. Emmas is out, all dressed exactly soul suffering under her drug little bland. It is clear that the script announcement to turn like her, crawling out of her bed, An intense, habits. Behind her prickly exterior is for today’s audience with many off our mobile phones was played. The emerging from the toilet, climbing lies a girl who desperately wished of the best jokes touching on the ThatA was all expected. But then the out of the wall, each convulsed in visceral for acceptance by her mother. This current affairs of 2016. However, I announcement repeated itself, and tormented jerky movements – the theme of acting and meta-acting can’t help but feel that more time it seemed that a thousand voices protagonist’s visual manifestation of what must was displayed from the start, when in development would have done were echoing it at the same time, be her own delusions arising from experience the “backstage” curtains fell shortly wonders for this production. Where louder and louder and reaching a identity is as drug withdrawal. In this way, the after the play began to reveal the script seems to be steering to mad climax – then in a snap the production actually sheds light on that will give another set of audiences on the hilarity, the punchlines are a let- theatre went dark and a scene from fluid as her psychiatric issues that are rarely other side. Each block of audience is down, and where split second timing The Seagull appeared before us. discussed in public, much less in watching and being watched by the is crucial, the text is too fluffy to That opening sequence caused such a visceral way. you your high other – emphasizing the staginess of really hit home. Equally, while the me much alarm – in my wild delusions Perhaps on a more metaphorical the stage in between. momentum consistently builds as imagination I thought the theatre level, these multiple selves of Emma real experiences. If I deny myself People, Places and Things is an the play goes on, the two and a half had been hijacked. But it was the Variously known as Nina, represent her conflicted views of choice,” she declares, “then what intense, visceral experience that will hour runtime leaves the last thirty first of many points in the play Emma, Sarah and Lucy, the the world and fragments of identity am I?” These may be the words of a give you your high (safely), while minutes stagnant. The body is there when director Jeremy Herrin makes protagonist’s identity is as fluid as that she cannot reconcile. Emma/ helpless addict, but it is a sensitive also getting you to question your and the intention is clear, but they the experience of the drug and her delusions. Her drug-induced Sarah is clearly a sharply intelligent acknowledgement of the addict’s assumptions about the world. haven’t trimmed the fat. cigarette addicted protagonist the visions are played out in vivid girl who overthinks the workings own perspective that her habit is the audience’s experience as well. People, detail to the audience. I gasped of the world, and creates for herself only sense of control she feels over People, Places and Things is at the The Suicide is running at the Places and Things tells the story of a as the exit sign on stage swirled elaborate, noble excuses for her her life and her view of the world. Wyndham’s Theatre until 18th June. The cast in all their glory wearing Javone Prince masks. Photo Credit: Johan Persson National Theatre until 25th June Union Page

The Sports Review - tell us know what you think!

The Sports Review is a joint project between Imperial College Union and Sport Imperial, aiming to create a joined up, more effective and more inclusive sporting offer at Imperial.

A student body consultation has highlighted a general push towards enabling participation on a more casual basis, with major barriers involving time, location, and capacity of facilities. We would love to hear your feedback before consultation closes on Friday 13 May. To give us your view about sports go to:

imperialcollegeunion.org/news/consultation-sports-review Sign up to Activities Training

Team Activites are launching the specialised Club, Society and Project training next week. This is specifically for new officers and for principal officers starting to handover.

Training consists of:

A Handover Training - Friday 6 May A How to Get Noticed - Marketing & Publicity Training - Monday 9 May A How to Get Funded - Tuesday 10 May A Room Bookings Training - Thursday 12 May A How to Handover - Monday 16 May A Thanks! Is there any specific text I can use from somewhere? - Tuesday 17 May A Leading and Motivating Teams - Thursday 19 May A How to Get Funded - Friday 20 May A Leading & Motivating Teams - Monday 23 May A Room Bookings Training - Monday 23 May A How to Get Funded - Thursday 26 May A Leading & Motivating Teams - Tuesday 7 June

Sign up at imperialcollegeunion.org/activities-training

Personalised graduation gifts! #helloicu crew

We are delighted to inform you that we have introduced a unique, Remember what it was like to be starting at Imperial? Moving to personalised gift range. Our fine partners work directly with you to craft London and starting university can be a daunting prospect. So who the ideal rings, watches, frames and plaques. Choose from their range, better to welcome new students to Imperial than existing students designed exclusively for Imperial College London, and then add your own who have lived through the same nerve-wracking experience? personal touch. Bespoke options may include your name, degree subject and award. Help us give our students the best possible welcome.

For students graduating in May 2016, you are entitled to a special £100 100% of volunteers said they would recommend the experience to a discount on the price of the watch for orders placed by Friday 20 May friend! 2016. For online orders please use voucher code GR2016 to get this discount. Order yours now! Get involved this Welcome Week by signing up online. imperialcollegeunion.org/graduation-gifts imperialcollegeunion.org/helloicu

imperialcollegeunion.org felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 25

TV [email protected] This week on Game of Thrones machinations for Ramsey are move Back in Mereen, things continue forward as his wife gives birth to a to fall apart, so Tyrion decides to see baby boy. For about two minutes, if he can get the Dragons involved. that is, when Ramsey decides to The scene actually adds some stab him to death. Poisoned by his interesting depth to the dragon’s enemies, such a sad way to go. This characterisation, and makes them may be the biggest issue with the feel like more than just the one note episode. Bolton Sr. feels completely killing machines we’ve seen up till wasted, and his arc a massive anti- now. Dinklage, in particular, is on climax. Maybe there was some top form here, as he does a great job of building tension considering he’s working with CGI. An exciting Theon decides to part ways with Sansa and head home; promising to indicator make good to the Starks. But which home? Will he head to the Iron Islands, or to Winterfell, to try and for just how get even with Ramsey. Speaking of the Iron Islands, we’re finally much is likely reunited with Balon Greyjoy. And then he gets pushed off a bridge. Hey, at least he technically won the to happen War of Five Kings. This also serves as an exposition heavy and storm this season saturated, albeit still fairly effective, Taming a dragon; should be as easy as walking a dog. Photo Credit: HBO introduction to his brother, Euron. And finally, at Castle Black, Jon Anurag Deshpande the flasher from Cersei’s walk of Cersei, has a little trouble with miscommunication between writer Snow wakes up. Some other cool Writer shame last season. Alongside a very faithful husbands) in the sept; and director, but the constant baiting shit happens too; the wildlings agitated Robert ‘totally not the stopped only by the appearance of of Ramsey on his part really felt like kick Thorne’s ass and we get to see mountain’ Strong. I mean, come on, a lot of the faithful. This scene also it was part of some grand scheme. the giant again. But really, Snow’s ollowing last week’s his name is in the credits. This scene gives us a fantastic line in the form What other possible reason could resurrection was deftly handled. relatively uneventful, is actually pretty funny, and provides of the Sparrow’s codded warning someone as supposedly shrewd as I’m glad they didn’t drag it out too measured episode, Game of a nice respite from all the other to Jamie, “I fear a great many Bolton have for pushing Jr. that far? much, since it was fairly obvious he’d Thrones cranks the dial up seriousness in the episode. In fact, things…the father, the mother, the Total narrative blue balls. Oh, and be back. Too much narrative focus to eleven with this one. Last time warrior”. Cersei’s original cold and then Ramsey has his dogs eat his has been on him until now for that. Fwas the safety briefing; now we’ve vindictive persona also makes a bit step-mum and baby brother. I didn’t It’s also an exciting indicator for just hit the first drop on the rollercoaster. Last time of a resurgence, after the previous mind this too much, but his villainy how much is likely to happen this We open in Winterfell of old, as episode’s attempts to make her seem is just reaching cartoonish levels season. The hype train rolls onto the Bran and the Three-eyed Raven was the more sympathetic and likeable. The now. Next week, I predict he’ll dress next episode, where it seems an even watch the previous generation balance struck here is just right. up like a ghost and try to scare away bigger revelation awaits. of Starks in their younger days. In present day Winterfell, Mystery Inc. from the abandoned Game of Thrones is available on The scene serves as an excellent safety whatever Roose Bolton’s amusement park. HBO Go reintroduction to Bran, and an effective way to familiarise the briefing; audience with his growing abilities; without resorting to an exposition dump. now we’ve We finally catch a (non-stone) glimpse of Lyanna Stark; getting hit the first some idea of character. This serves to give us some context on the woman who launched a civil war, drop on the and puts her in the forefront of our minds in anticipation of next rollercoaster week; when we’ll be treated to perhaps one of the most important events in recent Westerosi history. in general the writing has managed Interestingly, there is also a glimpse to pull off dry wit pretty well so far of young Hodor, with his faculties this season. intact. Given the tight pacing of this Jamie continues his journey episode, it seems unlikely that this towards not giving a fuck and would be included without cause. almost straight up murders the Then, in King’s Landing, it’s High Sparrow (is it just me that Myrcella’s funeral, but first we stop he reminds of Bernie Sanders? It by the pub to pay our respects to doesn’t help that his primary rival, That awkward moment when you’re older than your father. Photo Credit: HBO

Imperial’s Cost of Living in London Survey

You have until Sunday 8 May to take part

Go to our Cost of Living webpage www.imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding/living- costs/survey

We are always working to ensure that the GET IN TOUCH WITH THE financial support we offer meets the needs STUDENT FINANCIAL of each student at Imperial. With your help SUPPORT TEAM: we can gain a fuller picture of how much +44(0)20 7594 9014 money our students need to live and study Student Hub, Level 3, in London. Sherfield Building

Please complete our short survey and tell www.Imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding us about your financial needs. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 27

CLUBS & SOCS [email protected] Imperial puts forward a team in an international sensor building competition John Welsh Writer

mperial College has put forward a team of twelve The team students to compete in the International SensUs aims to Competition, which aims to produce Ia creatinine molecular biosensor produce for healthcare applications. Its applications include uses in monitoring chronic kidney damage, a fully radiology, the cardiovascular system and transplantation. functioning The other universities taking part in the competition include: The University of Leuven, Uppsala creatinine University, The Technical University of Denmark and Eindhoven sensor which University of Technology. SensUs is the first international student competition involving molecular rivals those biosensors for healthcare applications, and is being organised currently by students at the Eindhoven A very happy ensemble on a very successful trip! Photo Credit: SensUs Imperial University of Technology in available collaboration with professors from excess ATP. any equipment or facilities needed. likely that they will split up into two international universities. Creatinine is useless to the body so Moreover, they have generously teams so that they can experiment Creatinine is a by-product of the such as creatine, turning ATP into it has to be removed by the kidneys. contacted companies and are in on both MIPs and enzyme-based phosphorylation of creatine and is ADP (adenosine diphosphate). If the filtration in the kidneys is charge of the teams funding. One sensors. catalysed by the enzyme creatine The product of the reaction is deficient, the level of creatinine in company, OrionTM, has kindly The team will be travelling kinase. Kinases are enzymes which phosphocreatine which is used the blood rises. Consequently, by supplied free electrodes to the team to Eindhoven University of use ATP (adenosine triphosphate, to turn ADP back into ATP in sensing the concentrations, doctors who are hoping to start working in technology in the Netherlands on the body's immediate supply times of high physical stress; can determine kidney-associated labs in the summer term. the 9th of September to present their of chemical energy) to transfer phosphocreatine requires low effort illnesses in patients. It is therefore a The Imperial College team aims sensor. Each sensor will be given phosphate groups onto molecules, to synthesize when the body has very important compound and any to produce a fully functioning 22 samples to be tested over three improvements to current sensors creatinine sensor which rivals those hours on Friday and on Saturday, will be a remarkable achievement. currently available. The Imperial the team will present their sensor The sensing of creatinine has four team is made up of five chemists, to the public and a panel of experts, main application areas: monitoring John Welsh, Ana Losada, Ning Professor Cass being one of them. chronic kidney damage, the study Voon, Onur Guzel, and Taiwo Four independent awards will be of agents that are a burden on the Lawal, four bioengineers, Francesco given out by the end of Saturday: kidneys in radiology, the study of Guagliardo, Edward Da Fonseca, The Analytical Performance Award, the effects of diuretics on the kidney Valeria Trujillo, and Riccardo based on the precision, range, speed in cardiovascular studies, and in the Barbano, a biochemist, Rufus and sample volume; The Creativity monitoring of transplanted kidney Mitchell-Heggs, mathematician, and Initiative Award, based on function as part of patient care. Lawrence Stewart, and a physicist, how original the sensor is; The Professor Tony Cass and Thomas Lord. Translation Potential Award, based Doctor Christopher Johnson, the The Imperial team is currently on future applications in healthcare supervisors of the Imperial team, conducting market research on and how cost-effective it is; and The act as consultants to the Imperial existing sensors by asking various Public Presentation Award, based team and are able to provide experts in the field including on the presentation skills of the guidance to the team due to their clinicians, GPs and professors. They teams. extensive knowledge in both will use the information gathered While it would be an amazing biochemistry, bioengineering and to decide whether to improve on an achievement for the team to win molecular biosensors. Although existing model, which uses enzymes an award, they are simply happy to it is a student-only competition, to detect the compounds in the have made a functioning sensor and the team seeks help on any specific blood, or to go in another direction, contributed to the scientific field. problems encountered along the possibly researching the potential To follow the team's progress, way and liase with the supervisors use of molecularly imprinted like them on Facebook or visit their and various companies to attain polymers (MIPs). However, it is website: imperialcollege.sensus.org. th PAGE 28 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

[email protected]

PUZZLES FUCWIT Solo Efforts 1st Cherry Kwok 307 2nd Nicholas Sim 286 3rd Ayojedi 113 4th Greg Poyser 87 5th King Lam Kwan 31 6th Sunny Amrat 30 7th Jan Xu 17 8th David Fengchu Zhang 14 9th Grace Chin 13.5 10th Sach Patel 13 11th Harry Secrett 10 12th Joshua Wan 8 13th QiaoqiaoFu 6 14th Jeremy Ong 3 15th Megha Agrawal 2

Groups 1st CP Fanclub 133 2nd Pufuletzi 118 3rd Gap Yahhhh 58.5 4th The Gravitons 15 5th Parmesan 9.5

Points Available 20 Sudoku 4 Slitherlink 3 Rectangles 4 Nonogram 3 Chess 6

White to move. Forced checkmate in two. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 29

HANGMAN [email protected] NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

GOLDSMITH SO POSH HE GETS UBER YOUR GRANDAD GETS SNAPCHAT AND FREAKS OUT YOUR WHOLE FAMILY EXEC TO CORNER SHOP TAURUS CANCER GEMINI VIRGO ARIES HOROSCOPES LEO

This week you get up bright This week in order to have a This week you write an anti- This week, to prepare for This week you are part of This week you don’t bother to an early in order to vote and more interesting sex survey Israel article and you decide a trip to Japan, you are a physical fight that breaks vote in the mayoral elections, exercise your democratic result to input, you decide to to go into hiding in fear of brushing up on your Japanese, out in the library cafe queue because the candidates are right to decide what's best for try and have sex in the ethos Mossad trying to get revenge. learning such phrases as ‘two between mild acquaintances basically the same, like my London. However, you realise swimming pool; however, I'm basically Salman Rushdie beers please’, ‘can I buy you a after arguing over who is two favourite videos – Avatar this isn't the Brexit one and you get locked in and have to if you think about it. drink’ and ‘do you keep your busier lately. and a vine of two drunk guys so you just scribble 'close the drink pool water. However, contraception in the fridge?’ dressed as smurfs fighting. borders' on your form before the chlorine makes your hair screwing it up and throwing so shiny that every one you it at a volunteer. meet wants to have sex with SCORPIO AQUARIUS SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN you. PISCES LIBRA

This week you start a physical This week you’re Drake. This week you realise that life This week in the sunny This week, when graduating, This week you're finally fight with someone in the When girls you like are is just one great big RuPaul’s weather you decide to ditch you held up a sign reading: invited to a Women@ union who is insisting leaving your album listening Drag Race, with various the 40 denier tights and go "Hi Alice look I really like Imperial meeting, but you that Beyonce’s Lemonade party, you go up to them and challenges testing your ability bare legged. Unfortunately you but I just haven't felt are banned for life after soundtrack is not a cultural go, “Can I get a hug, though?” to act, make people laugh and you forgot to shave and a the same since we took that screaming YASSS QUEEN phenomenon because it create couture dresses from man literally collapses and holiday together and to be and doing NUS hand waving attributes multiple writers. fabric in a bin. If you can’t dies from seeing a tuft of hair honest it's probably me rather every time Alice Gast makes love yourself, how the hell on your knee. than you so no hard feelings a suggestion. you gon' love somebody else or anything and I hope we can I get an amen up in here? can stay friends." th PAGE 30 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

FOOD [email protected] Seeding the Veggie Power FELIX recieves a response to last week’s article from a morally minded vegetarian

Sarah Kakadellis Writer

he foodies, meat lovers you’re going to consume meat, you or simply punctilious need to accept where it came from – readers amongst you may a real, living, breathing animal that remember last week’s was killed and butchered.” That’s article raising arguments for meat how it all started for me, a couple consumption,T or rather, for not of years ago. I realised something feeling guilty about it as long as you just wasn’t right. I would cry seeing accepted the responsibilities. And someone slaughter an animal and I thought there would be nothing then feel perfectly emotionless – better than hunting my friend’s and greedy – facing that roasted arguments by growing from them. lamb in my plate. Please bear with me. I know, for So I thought: ‘Eat what you could most of you, the “Veggie” in the title handle alone’. That’s my motto. put you off. But, if you’re an Imperial Could I kill a lamb myself? No. student, it must be that you like Could I hook a fish? No. Conclusion: challenge, so take it as a challenge no meat for me. And I must say I and read the article until the end. have never felt as serene and full of Let’s start from the beginning. integrity as I do now. Our ‘modern’ Yes, I am vegetarian. Love vegan world has lost the connection cuisine, too. And guess what? I have between the art of hunting – or eaten meat for most of my life, 18 fishing, for that matter – and the years, which is about 90% – you art of cooking, as consumerism led can do the maths in your own time. to a lucrative manufacture industry. Even crazed communists can be vegetarians – it’s very inclusive group. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons Oh, and I love meat. A steak tartare Personally, I just could not handle on a sunny summer day? I used to that huge lie I was concealing from Sweet potato curry 2 tbsp cooking oil- olive or keep on a low heat for about 30 crave them. That’s right, I just said my own conscious under the veil of And to show you vegan cooking sunflower minutes, or until the lentils are it. So just think about that whilst the food chain supply, which made can be easy, delicious and inspiring, 2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and just cooked. If the sauce is now too you still believe I am a green hippie it easier for reality to be distorted. if not more so than any other kind, diced into 2cm chunks (~1kg) thick, thin it out with a few splashes trying to convince you that lettuce Still, I have milked cows. I have here is a sweet potato, lentil and 1 tbsp of turmeric of water. is so much better than a beef burger. made yogurt, even butter, and coconut curry just for you. And no – 1 tbsp of ground cumin Finish the dish with the green I do actually think that, but that’s collected eggs from the henhouse. you will not be lacking protein! 2 tsp of ground ginger olives and the juice of a lemon, another story. This partly explains why I don’t This recipe is all about making it 2 green cardamom before topping it with some fresh feel guilty about having a wedge to taste – use lime juice if you want 1 tsp cayenne coriander leaves. Serve with some of Tomme de Savoie from time to a sourer kick, or up the cayenne (or use pre-made garam masala steamed rice. time, or spreading some churned for a warmer heat. Feel free to for the above 5 ingredients – about Could I kill butter on a slice of lightly toasted add lemongrass, whole chiles or 2tbsp) Mango sticky rice sourdough bread topped with my anything in that vein – but as it’s 2 cloves garlic, finely diced This is a perfect vegan pudding – neighbour’s honey. been requested by some readers, 1 onion, white or red, sliced especially as alphonso mangoes will a lamb? Oh, and I don’t live in a farm, for this is a recipe with fewer than five 500g green lentils, rinsed soon be in season! If you want to the sceptics. Just so that you don’t spices, so I’ll leave that up to you. 2 tins coconut milk find some, make a trip to Southhall try to find yourself some excuses – I Of course, you could always add 2 tins diced tomatoes for the best ones. Could I live in a capital city, actually. I mean, some browned chicken breasts, or 2 cups green olives the point is not to indoctrinate you. some juicy prawns, but that wouldn’t salt, pepper 300g glutinous rice That would be a waste of time. It has really be in the spirit of the dish! Try 1 lemon – or a lime, see note 1 tin coconut milk hook a to be your choice, and choosing to it without, and see. above. 3 tbsp sugar be vegetarian is more than just not Handful coriander leaves pinch salt willing to kill unnecessarily, but it is 2tbsp coconut cream fish? a great starting point. I have Heat the oil in a large, high 2 ripe mangoes There are a significant amount sided pan – a casserole dish would of environmental factors that have be ideal. Once hot, add the cubed Soak the rice for 10 minutes in Reading last week’s article was rooted the veggie power, as I like to milked sweet potato and get it browning. excess water. Drain, and add to a very inspiring, and people could be call it, even further, and one should You want to caramalise each face of microwaveable bowl with water to surprised by it, but it does relate a not underestimate the impact of the cows. I the cubes, so stir them moderately just cover. Clingfilm the top, and lot to vegetarians too. The ethical cattle industry on climate change. frequently. microwave until tender – about ten debate that was raised is exactly the The intention here was to give you When almost brown all over, add minutes. Bring the other ingredients, reason why I chose to be vegetarian, some thoughts to grow on. Long have made the spices, garlic and onion. Sweat apart from the mango, to a boil and and which also explains why I am story short, be consistent with your them for a few minutes, and then pour over. Let it cool and then serve not fully vegan. But let me explain values. Be true to your morals, and add the lentils, coconut milk and with the sliced mango. it to you, with my friend’s quote: “If stick to them. butter. tomatoes. Bring to a simmer, and felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016 PAGE 31

SPORT [email protected] Flying high with Imperial frisbee The Imperial discDoctors swan through nationals

Lucy Rowlands & Anthony Featherstone Writers

mperial’s Ultimate Frisbee break, and Cardiff won the game club, more commonly known 8-7. as the discDoctors (or dD) This left us on Sunday with a were in a position to bring round robin against Southampton both a women’s team and a men’s and Sheffield for a place in the Iteam to nationals for the first time plate final. With fewer players now, ever, with the men having qualified dD knew both games would be in the league throughout the season, tough, particularly with a re-match and the women finishing highly at against Southampton who came out Outdoor Regionals qualifier back in fighting, however dD were able to March. keep the intensity up and won 12-2 in the end. The Sheffield game was st Men’s 1 Team very close, with the teams trading Nationals this year started with points throughout, but dD came out dD taking on Heriot Watt who 9-7 winners with great defence play took an early lead and never looked giving them the win. back, with the game finishing 8-4 This put us in the plate final to Heriot – a typical dD start to a against Kent, a team we had beaten tournament! 13-4 previously in the season. With With much more now at stake a very small squad from injuries at having lost the first game, dD came this point, dD knew it would be a out fighting against a Southampton tough game. Everyone came out side that looked a little lacklustre at fighting and gave it their all, with times. dD capitalised on this with dD playing incredibly well in windy great defensive and offensive play, conditions to go 7-0 up, including winning the game 10-1, sending a three upwind points! At this point big message to our next opponents Kent came out fighting clawing the Liverpool. game back to 7-4, however it wasn’t This next game proved to be enough as dD won 9-4. very close, with both teams taking The players can be very proud the lead at different points, but it of winning the division two plate, was dD’s intensive defensive play showing the great quality that which won them the game 9-6, and we have in a squad with a mix of coming second in our pool. vast experience and relatively new This put us in a crossover with players. Don’t play frisbee if you’re not willing to get a bit grubby. Photo Credit: Disc Doctors Cardiff, which turned out to be a st game of two halves, dD took the Women’s 1 Team with a tight zone defence, and some Unfortunately despite Imperial All in all an excellent weekend first half fairly convincingly 7-4, The weekend started on a cold and very safe catches that Imperial just finding their swing quickly and for Imperial’s inaugural women’s however after half time, Cardiff sunny Saturday morning, with the couldn’t quite beat and the women playing some excellent offence, outdoor team, playing against some came out with some very strong women in a good position; seeded lost 8-2. This meant that a tense Nottingham were just too strong tough teams but they came together defence play which dD couldn’t 2nd in Div 2, and top of their group. crossover game awaited against and won 11-5. and played well as a team. MVP Their first game was against Reading, which if lost would mean After watching the boys beat went to Si-Ci Ong, and MIP to Poh Manchester, an enjoyable game and the team could only finish as high as Southampton (again), the girls were Hui Xian (Fish). The game an opportunity for the team to find 8th. It was a tight game, and points ready to take on Southampton’s Many thanks must go to the their flow. The final score was 11-1 were traded throughout, both teams women’s team. Once again a strong captains and coaches for enabling to Imperial; a great start to weekend. desperate to avoid being in the lower performance gave the women a both teams to play so well at this finished 8-4 The second game was against bracket, but the women worked it 10-4 victory. level and to also bring on-board and Cardiff, who although seeded at through the gaps in their defence The final game was against incorporate new players in the team. the bottom of the group, proved with every player contributing. It Swansea where the wind picked up to Heriot – a they certainly didn’t belong there ended with a tense universe point, and Imperial took the opportunity by fighting a tough fight against the which Imperial won to leave them to bring out their zone defence The women typical dD wind with some good catches in bad in the top bracket. which they’d been practicing all wind. Imperial eventually worked it Day two started slowly, as the weekend. It all came together and down the pitch though to win the regret of too much pizza and the Swansea just couldn’t compete. came out start to a game 6-3. consequences of sleeping on a cold Combined with some excellent The final game of pool play was scout hut floor took hold, but the upwind points from Imperial, the against Sheffield Hallam, who also women came out fighting against women took the final game 10-1, to fighting tournament! put up a good fight. They came out Nottingham, the weekend’s hosts. finish in 5th place. th PAGE 32 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 6 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

SPORT [email protected] Trials and Tribulations at BUCS Sprint ‘16 Missing athletes, lost bikes and misdirection from marshalls

Maddy Whybrow great time, finishing third out of the Writer Imperial men. Freya was having even more trouble in her race. Slipping on a n Sunday 1st May, corner on her way out of the pool, she seventeen of Imperial’s started the bike with a few injuries bravest triathletes but carried on regardless. However, descended upon the a missed turning and some dubious sleepy town of Calne, Wiltshire to directions from a marshal saw Freya Ocompete in the 2016 BUCS Sprint complete an extra 5km on the bike. Triathlon. Gathered outside SAF at Impressively, she completed the rest the ungodly hour of 5:45am, some of the race although was obviously quick Imperial brains spotted that a little disappointed with her time! there were actually only sixteen Up next was next year’s captain recruits present; we were missing our and resident French heart-throb secret weapon, scholarship athlete Tom Bartissol. Despite a slow Alistair Wallace. A few panicked second transition, during which phone calls later and it became clear it took him several attempts to that he had slept through his alarm complete the usually simple task of and was not going to make the putting shoes on, Tom’s overall time rendez-vous. We departed one man was very impressive and he placed down, hoping that he would be able a strong second out of the Imperial to make his own way to the race. Quick get a parking space. Photo Credit: Triathalon men. The rest of the journey went Last but not least, Alistair Wallace smoothly, even those in the bus these unnecessary pieces of kit, Sam putting in the fastest Imperial bike aero bars fell off part way into the and Jessica Prior were racing in driven by Jonny “fast and furious” put in decent bike and run times to time of the day to finish fourth out bike, leaving him with a lopsided one of the final waves of the day. Singh survived their trip relatively finish solidly overall. of the Imperial men. aero position and very odd looking Borrowed from the swimming club unscathed. Once we had arrived Next up were Lawrence Tse and Sadly Lily’s race didn’t go quite as handlebars. Not letting this faze for the weekend, Jess turned out to in Calne, the plan was simple. The John Foden-Shroff competing in smoothly. In the pool, the wayward him, he completed a solid bike and be the true star of the day. Both 500 odd student triathletes would wave number two. As some of the foot of a fellow (non-Imperial) run time to finish fifth out of the her run and swim were the fastest be set off in half hour waves, with few Imperial athletes to have already competitor connected with her Imperial men. of all the Imperial girls. However, the slowest swimmers starting first. competed in triathlons, Lawrence goggles to leave her with a shiny Next to finish in the pool was even more impressive was her bike. They would then complete a 750m and John managed to complete black eye. She bravely soldiered on Alice but sadly her speedy swim Despite it being the longest distance swim, 25km bike and 5km run as their races with no mishaps, both to the bike, her strongest discipline. was not matched by the rest of that she had ever cycled, she quickly as possible. finishing with highly respectable Sadly, about halfway round the her race where she was left a little smashed the 25km, beating most of Matt Douthwaite and club overall times. course, she experienced a race- disappointed by her bike and run. her teammates and bringing in the captain Sam Jackson fearlessly led These two were followed by the stopping puncture. After a teary Last but not least, Madeleine left the fastest overall time of the Imperial the march into battle, setting off in third wave of Imperial triathletes twenty minutes spent sat by the pool, keen to put the swim behind women. For Alastair, however, most the first wave of the day. Despite including Jonny Singh who had side of the road, she was rescued by her to get on with her beloved bike. of the drama had taken place before concerns from Luis, the TriIC swim somehow managed to find himself some passing cyclists who kindly True to form, she put down the he had even reached the start line. coach, about Matt’s abilities in the setting off at the same time as patched up her wheel and set her fastest bike time of the Imperial After missing the first checkpoint, pool, this runner-turned-triathlete half the Imperial women’s squad. on her way. She was massively women finishing solidly overall. The the experienced triathlete had put in a solid performance and He quickly overtook teammate disappointed by this turn of events next Imperial athlete to compete travelled to Wiltshire via train, bus was the first of the two out of the Lily Battershill in the pool before but eventually cheered up, especially was Marcel Admiraal, swimming and taxi. All had gone smoothly pool. Once on dry land, Matt found after disappearing for a short time in a wave on his own. This was his until he reached Calne, where he himself in much more familiar in the afternoon to be consoled by fourth BUCS Sprint Triathlon and realised that he had left his bike on territory, storming the bike and He spent the team mate Jonny. his experience served him well as the train. After some negotiations run to finish second in his wave Leanne Lyons and Anna Lawson he completed a great race, scoring a with the train company, his bike was with Imperial’s fastest run time were having much more successful personal best in the process. on its way back to London and he of the day. Meanwhile Sam was first couple races. Having recently joined The sixth wave containing Imperial was paired up with one of the club having a slightly more eventful the triathlon club from running competitors set off at midday and bikes for the race. He went on to put race. His super quick first transition of kilometres backgrounds, they both put in featured Greg Jones and Freya Espir. down strong swim and run times, turned out to be more hasty than decent times on the swim and Despite being a very inexperienced earning him a solid first place out of speedy as he realised part way into bike but excelled on the run, each cyclist, Greg absolutely stormed all the Imperial athletes. the bike that he had failed to attach working completing the 5km in under 23 three legs of the race, with notably Overall, the day saw some his race number. Whilst zooming minutes, no mean feat after having quick swim and run times. His bike promising performances from past the marshals, hoping they out how already been racing for over an hour! went less smoothly, however, as he a mostly inexperienced squad. wouldn’t notice this omission, an The next Imperial triathletes to spent the first couple of kilometres The team triumphed despite the unfortunately placed speed bump set off were Edmund Jones, Alice working out how to change down (numerous) mishaps and we are relieved the captain of his water to change Spencer and Madeleine Whybrow. a gear before taking a tumble after already looking forward to the rest of bottle as it flew out of his bottle Ed was the first of the three to an unfortunate encounter with a the triathlon season and the chance cage on to the other side of the leave the pool but fell into a spot roundabout at high speed. Despite to learn from our mistakes and to road. No longer weighed down by down a gear of misfortune when one of his these upsets, he still put down a improve on our performances.