ISSUE 1634 FRIDAY 13th MAY 2016

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London

We tried VR porn so Double the Hangman, you don't have to double the fun

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Sigma cancels Summer Ball appearance

he DJ duo who were due Weekender in Manchester the • Contract had already been signed by DJ duo to play the ICU Summer weekend before the Summer Ball, Ball have cancelled but then they have a gap before they • The headliner will now be DJ Fresh and will be replaced play Ibiza rocks on the 24th of June. • It's understood Sigma were offered a broadcasting by DJ Fresh. Despite the fact that Sigma have had two number aT contract between the artist and ones: ‘Nobody to love’ in 2014, and opportunity the union had already been signed, ‘Changing’ with Paloma Faith in Sigma told the union last week the same year. The duo met at Leeds that they would not be playing the University before signing to DJ Summer Ball on the 18th of June, Fresh’s record label in London. presumably because they’ve had a DJ Fresh is most famous for his better offer. number ones, ‘Louder’ and ‘Hot The union announced theRight Now’ with Rita Ora, released headliner via a video of past summer in 2011 and 2012 respectively. balls on Thursday the 28th of April. These days, DJ Fresh’s tour Last week, however, sources close schedule is decidedly less packed. to FELIX learnt that the band had He played Aberystwyth University’s pulled out. This morning, the union Summer Ball on Sunday. managed to secure DJ Fresh instead. Tickets are already on sale, and DJ Fresh students have been buying them at £37.50 a pop under the impression that Sigma was playing for two played the weeks now. The price will be hiked to £42.50 on the 20th of May. Aberystwyth According to Sigma’s Songkick and Seetickets pages, the band Summer Ball haven’t ditched us for any festivals. They’re playing both the Isle of Wight festival and The Parklife on Sunday

Imperial to spread medic bursaries out across all six years This comes a year after the survey that said 97% of final year students were in the red

esterday it was announced Currently, medical students can money better over the first four that Imperial’s bursaries get up to £6000 per year of Imperial years, so they are better off in the for medics will be spread bursary, but only during the first last two years of study. The change out over all six years of four years of their degree. Now, that will only affect students starting study instead of just the first four. same amount will be spread over their studies from this September. ThisY is in a bid to ease the financial the whole six years. This will mean Current students will still only get hardship that notoriously occurs in students get less money per year, funding over the first four years. the final years of a medical degree. but could help them manage their continued on page 3 th PAGE 2 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

[email protected]

Contents A word from the Editor News 3 Editor-in-Chief Grace Rahman

Comment 6 News Editor Matt Johnston Features 8 hat a week it’s been ideal jobs, graduate and bum around Comment Editors SEXtion 10 friends. I’m really a bit and then get okay jobs, and Tessa Davey and Vivien Hadlow just speaking for indeed graduate and bum around SEXtion Editor Science 12 me though, because perpetually while they look for Tessa Davey I don’t know your life. work, is that your first job out of Music 15 This is the time of year when the university doesn’t have to be the job. Science Editors W Jane Courtnell and Lef Apostolakis less organised of us are trying to You are allowed to not have a plan Film 18 sort our summers, or indeed the by the last day of term. Hell, you can Arts Editors rest of our lives, out. Sometimes not have a plan by graduation. You Indira Mallik, Jingjie Cheng and TV 20 whilst doing exams. The last thing can move back in with your parents, Max Falkenberg you want to think about when you can take an alright job that you Music and Games Editor Games 23 you’re ploughing into those partial don’t love, and that’s okay. Cale Tilford differentiations is what soul- ‘Uokhuns’ can be directed to the Food 25 crushing grad scheme or internship FELIX Twitter or the email address Film Editor you should probably be applying to. at the top of this page. Fred Fyles Puzzles 26 Inevitably, around this time of Again, term, and the year are Puzzles Editors year, the go-to question for semi- drawing to a close, so if there’s Hamish Beck and Roxana Radu Hangman 28 acquaintances when you meet them anything you want to get off your in the library cafe queue is that of chest, do just pop one of the section Food Editor Sanjay Bhattacharya Clubs & Societies 30 life plans. It’s beaten into us that editors or me an email. If you have of big departmental secret to share, FELIX, Beit Quad, unless we have a week by week feelings that you want online for all my door is always open, unless I’m TV Editor Saad Ahmed Prince Consort Road, breakdown of our August by now, eternity, we are the only people who lying on the floor, Mindy Kaling London SW7 2BB we’ve somehow failed. can help. Because, come on now, style, listening to loud Skepta and Technical Babe Tel: 020 7594 8072 What I’ve come to realise, having nobody reads your blog. If you’re wondering why I didn’t just do a Luke Granger-Brown Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, watched people graduate and get about to leave and have some kind PhD. Winship Road, Cambridge Copy Editors Registered Newspaper Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi and Henry ISSN 1040-0711 Lloyd-Laney Copyright © FELIX 2016

Launch Event Friday 13 May 17:30 - 01:00

All students are invited to check out the new and improved Reynolds Bar! There will be free pizza, refreshing cocktails and a DJ from 20:00.

Go to facebook.com/reynoldsbarcx for more information

imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13th MAY 2016 PAGE 3

NEWS [email protected] Medics’ Student’s political dreams shattered Imperial bursaries to be He obviously wasn’t going to win standing for Labour in Kensington spread out

Grace Rahman continued from front page Editor-in-Chief The financial pressure on fifth and sixth year medics came to light last year in an ICSMSU survey. n Imperial student with It found that 87% of these dreams of becoming a students had financial concerns, councillor was beaten half had a part-time job to support by two Conservative themselves, and one in three candidates to join Kensington and said their parents were unable or ChelseaA council. unwilling to offer financial help. The winners were Sarah Ann In the final two years of the degree, Louise Addenbrooke and Anne medical students’ maintenance Barbara Cyron, who gained 1716 loans are also reduced, and the and 1470 votes respectively. future of these payments is unclear. The final year physics student ICU’s Deputy President did come in at a noble third (Welfare), Jennie Watson, who is place though, getting 395 votes; also a medic, told FELIX: “These a hundred more than the other changes will help a huge number of Labour candidate. medical students in the future but The vote took place alongside the there is still plenty to be done.” mayoral and London Assembly “The Faculty of Medicine and elections last Thursday, after the ICSMSU are working on ways to two Conservative council members support current students not eligible decided to step down, triggering a for the Bursary Spread scheme as by-election. they head towards years 5 and 6”. The Kensington and Chelsea GRACE RAHMAN turnout was a sad 46.4%. Recycling is important too. Photo Credit: FELIX

First university leaves NUS since new president elected Lincoln SU has decided to leave after the annual conference left their delegates ‘disillusioned’

incoln students have voted Lincoln’s SU President said “the to leave the NUS, making focus of debate within the NUS them the first to disaffiliate has been far removed from the from the nationwide issues that our students tell us are students’ union since controversial important”. Lnew leader, Malia Bouattia, was They will officially leave on the elected last month. last day of 2016. The vote lasted a week but turnout Other universities, including was a measly 12%, with the out camp Exeter, York, Bath, Manchester, only winning by 77 votes. Quorum Oxford and Cambridge have vocal for Lincoln SU referendums is students campaigning for an ‘NUS- only 10%, so the union can now xit’. constitutionally leave the NUS. Next year’s Imperial College Their subscription fees to NUS Union Deputy President (Welfare), that year had been in the region Emily-Jane Cramphorn, said in of £44,000 plus £11,500 spend her manifesto that she aimed to on travel, accommodation and hold a referendum on re-joining attendance at the organisation’s the NUS. So Imperial may well get conferences. Considering Lincoln’s the opportunity to get back in with student numbers, their subscription the union, despite having left it six fee was predicted to go up by £5000 times since becoming a founding for this coming year, and again the member in 1922. More universities may leave the NUS after the election of Malia Bouattia. Photo Credit: NUS year after. GRACE RAHMAN th th PAGE 4 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 5

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected] Newcastle Students Union to sell drug-testing kits Rent strikes spread across London universities The kits will tell you if your drugs are safe 1000 students across UCL, Roehampton, Goldsmiths and the Courtauld are Grace Rahman withholding rent in protest Editor-in-Chief The £7 kits,

Grace Rahman also warns that their university’s ewcastle university’s subsidised Editor-in-Chief threats of fines for late payments students union is to would be just that: threats, as there sell drug-testing packs to £3 for is nothing in their housing contracts to its students – not to tudents from Goldsmiths, about such charges. test them for drugs – but to test the Roehampton and the The possibility of eviction is Ndrugs themselves. students, Courtauld Institute have real, but universities are unable to The single use tests require joined UCL in a rent strike, threaten students much further than students to use a small amount of will be protesting the high fees and low that, as it is illegal to academically their drugs, and a colour comparison Squality housing offered by their penalise for non-tuition fee debts. chart to give an indication as to what universities. It’s been estimated that From a PR and student welfare the substances actually contain. available this amounts to about £1 million’s angle, evicting students during The £7 kits, subsidised to £3 for worth of lost revenue from all the exam season is not a great option students, will be available from the students combined. for the universities. students’ union. from the Unsurprisingly, the NUS has fully Last year, a successful UCL rent There are two tests included: one backed the strikes. The NUS DP of strike resulted in students winning for MDMA and one for ketamine, students’ Welfare, Shelly Asquith, said: “If a back a term’s rent (£1368 each). but they can be used together to get national rent strike for affordable UCL have also been accused an idea of what other nasties your student housing were to happen, the of nelgecting student welfare by drugs might contain. Love hearts, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. union union would support it 100%.” cutting all bursaries for low income This new policy for Newcastle SU 750 students from UCL did not students. This has only added fuel comes a month after a 17 year old Ecstasy, Cocaine and Ketamine The ‘Superman’ pills were found The idea has been pushed by the Instead of an immediate fine and pay their third term’s rent, which was to the fire of the Cut the Rent died in Manchester after taking a can be cut with sugar, rat poison and to contain high doses of PMMA, Students for Sensible Drug Policy eviction, students found with illegal due last Friday. 150 students started campaign. ‘Mastercard’ ecstasy pill, and the washing powders, or more seriously, which is toxic in far lower doses group at Newcastle, who earlier this drugs in university accommodation the strike in January, and have been FELIX does not endorse climbing roofs, even for good causes. Photo Credit: Finbarr Fallon In a meeting with strikers, UCL’s deaths of four people in Shropshire can contain high concentrations than ecstasy. The kits being sold in year petitioned the university to are now given a second chance, as joined by hundreds of others thanks Head of Estates said he didn’t take after taking ‘Superman’ pills last of far more dangerous compounds Newcastle can differentiate between change its ruling on students found long as they were not caught doing to a high profile campaign. with their college management, 300 are understood to be withholding Facebook FAQ that withholding into account low income students year. related to main component. these two substances. with drugs in halls for the first time. it again. This number now accounts for students at Goldsmiths withheld rent, according to the university’s rent now would not even risk when deciding rents, adding that 15% of UCL students in halls. They a rent payment last Monday. On accommodation office. eviction as “you’ll have moved out some students “simply could not are demanding a 40% rent cut. average, they pay £150 per week. Goldsmiths’ Cut the Rent of halls by the time they could evict afford to live in London, and that is After an unsuccessful meeting Eight students from Roehampton campaign told students in a you”. The Goldsmiths campaign just a fact of life”. EU debate to be held at Imperial Advocates for both leave and remain campaigns will be represented Reynolds bar re-opens after refurb Its grand opening happened on Friday Grace Rahman is a staunch socialist: the writer and contributes to the Guardian and Editor-in-Chief journalist, Tariq Ali. He was born the London Review of Books. He’s in Pakistan and became politically written several books, including haring Cross Hospital’s Students seemed to want less plastic active in his teenage years before Bush in Babylon, criticising the only onsite bar has finally furniture and more of a heritage debate about Britain’s studying PPE at Oxford. He now 2003 invasion of Iraq through the been refurbished by the vibe. place in the EU is due media of poetry and essays. union, after consultation With a hospital on one side and to take place at Imperial The The event is being organised by with students. a graveyard on the other, the 450 on the 2nd of June. ICU’s Left Forum, a new group CStreet and hospital signs capacity space is a space well- Representatives from both camps advocate that aims to hold events, campaigns ‘borrowed’ from other trusts still known to medical students as the willA be there to argue over whether and discussion on politics. The club hang on the walls, but the bar’s logo final destination for many freshers we should vote to leave the EU on is currently in the union’s ‘incubator’ has become slightly snazzier. fortnight events. The bar also serves the 23rd of June. for leave period, on the way to becoming an There is no lime green to be seen. food during the day. Speaking for remain is Amelia official club. A successful EU debate The union promised that the new The refurbishment was revealed Womack, the deputy leader of the is likely to work in their favour on bar’s floor is “100% less sticky”. at an exclusive launch party for Green party. An Imperial alumnus, is staunch the way to becoming an official ICU As part of a consultation survey, BNOCs last Friday, where The Womack stood for the Greens in endorsed club. student opinions on the bar’s new Techtonics performed. several constituencies before being The debate is on the nd2 of June look were gathered. The most The bar is having an official re- voted deputy leader, making her the socialist: in Skempton LT 164. Check the common suggestion was an old- launch tonight (Friday the 13th). youngest of any political party. Facebook event for updates on fashioned pub-like spaces with Unusually, the advocate for leave Tariq Ali speakers. The final line-up will be announced soon. Photo Credit: The Big EU Debate “booths”, “wood” and “leather”. GRACE RAHMAN A work in progress. Photo Credit: Reynolds th th PAGE 6 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 7

COMMENT [email protected] COMMENT [email protected] Reflections on the Barbican Estate The Bury Your Gays trope needs to die the weathering of the concrete of its existence. Along the sculpted LGBT fans deserve, and are demanding better from TV networks and producers The concrete colossus captures the optimism of façades. “Streets in the sky” turned pathways, you cannot fail to note the into corners for crime, while the sheer scale and scope of the architects’ he 100 is a cult teen the network and the show has been forms never got off to a good start; production within the social climate the architechural era grandiose fantasies of the public visions. The optimism with which drama focused on post- to tell us that Lexa, the character that many of the first modern media of the time, the lesbian couple could strolling through were replaced by the towers are named after great apocalyptic America. was shot, was not killed off because depictions came from the 1930s never have a happy ending. The two riends of mine will know about the Barbican Estate before. busy commuters rushing through British authors. The persistence of It has a significant, she was a lesbian. However the fact where intense social control existed. most common options for the end that I have a great affinity Located on the fringes of the City, a tunnel built for function, not a small puddle, the only remains primarily American following remains that she died because an It was not a good time for the media: of these novels were for one woman for F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The I pass by the concrete tower blocks fascination. No longer a vision of of a great moat surrounding this who mobilised quickly following adult male believed that the way regulations like the Hays Code to go insane (as homosexuality was T rd Great Gatsby. His timeless regularly on my way to the hospital, modernity, the Barbican Estate fortress of modernity. And above the airing of an episode on the 3 she was loving someone was wrong. existed that forbade the depiction of still viewed as an actual mental exposé of the superficiality of the but usually think of it as little more has become a symbol of the short- all, you cannot ignore the sense of March to launch an enormous Ignorance of the issue within the mixed-race relationships, amongst disorder), or one woman to die and Fnouveau riche and the upper classes, than a lamentable 1960s relic, an sightedness of 1960s architecture hope – the hope that people would online campaign. During the industry in which you work, where others. In this environment, LGBT the other to return to a heterosexual examined in cinematic description, eyesore to regret, not revere. During and many would not object to its walk around the estate, and enjoy it, show, a character is shot as part writing and background research representation of any kind was only relationship. This is sadly a trope is simply breath-taking, with a the war, the City was heavily demolition. rather than taking the road tunnel. of the story arc that is directly is literally what you are paid for, is allowed under the premise that that doesn’t seem to be expiring any message that is as pertinent today as bombed and mostly destroyed, Looking around, instead of seeing linked to her finally acting on absolutely not a valid excuse. If you LGBT characters were immoral by time soon. The belief of many media in the contemporary era. Though the requiring extensive renovation. the estate as it is, I saw it just as her feelings and kissing another don’t want to engage in the real- dint of being LGBT and as such creators seems to be that lesbian book is more usually associated with Among the unrealised plans of A utopian Fitzgerald’s Nick Carraway saw Abigail de Bruin female character. This exploitation world politics of a lesbian character, could not be allowed to be happy in characters are allowed only if the love and materialism, the spectacular building giant motorways through Long Island in The Great Gatsby: “A Clubs & Societies Editor – the ‘Bury Your Gays’ TV trope women remain sexually available and haunting descriptions at the central London and excavating fresh green beast of the new world”, – understandably did not sit well to men, or that their relationship is Hussain Al-Jabir close of the novel shed light on enormous underground carparks fantasy built with all the hope and optimism of with fans of the show, leading to the only sexual. Writer failed aspirations; something which – sensing a theme here? – the a generation looking forward to hashtag #LGBTFansDeserveBetter I encountered myself not too long Barbican Estate was meant to be peacetime after decades of war. The trending for seven hours, with over ago. the epitome of a new architectural from state- concrete may be rotting away today, 300,000 tweets written immediately LGBT Before this begins to sound too vision, with public courtyards but the blazing passion underlying after the show aired. The nature much like the English essays that interspersed between ‘modern’ tower the centre remains visible for as long of this campaign is that it has Imperial students shunned long blocks. Gone were the medieval of-the-art as it stands. long progressed from a complaint viewers ago, I should explain further. I study alleyways, the Barbican would All things are transient, and this about a character being killed off in St Bart’s Hospital, and walking feature “streets in the sky”, in a realisation was no exception. A on one show, and is now about back one day from Waitrose – yes, utopian fantasy built from state-of- reinforced vision seen for the first time is also challenging the industry for overall deserve to I was picking up free coffee, and no the-art reinforced concrete. Three that vision seen for the last time. representation. please don’t judge me – I chose to of the tallest residential towers concrete Every time I go to St Bart’s hospital, see happy walk through the Barbican Estate, in London would dominate the and every time I see the Barbican between the tower blocks instead skyline, while a moat would conjure again, it will still look as it always An adult of the tunnel beneath its buildings. images of an ancient castle within Walking as I did on that day, does – a building of the past, démodé futures I chose the path “less travelled”, the post-modern setting. This was I saw something quite different. to our eyes. For one metaphysical male and just as Robert Frost thought, the future in 1970, and the Barbican Staring at sights, otherwise etched hour, I saw past my own sight, to I believe “that has made all the Centre was its archetype. into memory, I saw past my current aspirations long thwarted; if past We’ve seen the overall cultural difference”. Fast-forward forty years and the vision, right back to its soul, which experience is proof, I shouldn’t think believed This is not worthy of a death sentence. Photo Credit: The 100 trend shift in recent years but it I’d never really thought much utopian visions have faded with taken literally is the very essence I will see that again. fundamentally remains that LGBT then do not write one whose primary said ‘immorality’. LGBT characters people suffer. In modern media that the emotional arc is whether her love is could only exist if their storyline was this is often more in the context right or wrong and then kill her for to be punished, and this manifested of noble suffering in the face of an it. If they truly didn’t mean to strike primarily as the characters being unforgiving world, from violence, way she a political or personal nerve, they killed off. The cultural narrative disease, or AIDS. It remains the sure fucked up. became that gay characters died, overwhelming majority of films and was loving Underrepresented groups one that we have evidently not books in which LGBT people suffer are continually denied positive moved past. outweighs all other narratives. portrayals, making it harder to In the context of this current The 100 playing in to this someone visualize a positive outcome for discussion stemming from the narrative has provoked what can their own future. When death and death of a lesbian, it is worth noting only be a long overdue conversation. despair are the only features of the the specific toxicity relating to The campaign springing from the was wrong lives you regularly see for characters lesbian representation in media. The episode continues to put pressure that reflect you, it rapidly becomes history of women dying in media on the industry, and maintains Now, obviously characters die in damaging. It’s no secret that the has intrinsic roots in misogyny. The a fundraising arm that is raising shows. It’s incredibly rare that a rate of suicide is considerably concept of women in relationships money for the LGBT suicide show could run for a whole series higher in the LGBT community with other women has long been prevention organization The or more without killing a main or than national averages, with a fetishised by the straight cis-men Trevor Project. The drive has raised recurring character, whether due 2011 study by the CDC finding that control the production and over $120,000 from nearly 4000 to contractual issues or a necessary LGBT youth four times more distribution of mainstream media. individual donations. In the words ending to a story arc. That said, likely to attempt suicide than their This meant that in the 1950s a on their website “There is not much LGBT representation on TV has straight peers. Isn’t it about time we huge quantity of pulp lesbian novels we can do in the way of changing a rocky history, and playing in to stopped normalizing this narrative were produced that allowed the what’s already been written. What harmful and toxic tropes is not a of no happy endings in mainstream fetishisation of these relationships, we can do however, is unite to good way to handle a necessary media? LGBT viewers deserve to long before the taboo that would help those who are hurting and death, so that your actor can leave see happy futures reflected in easily not allow them to be considered despondent through this.” All I can the show. accessible media. as healthy or meaningful was left say is that it really is time for the Shafts of light astride weathered concrete columns: The Barbican Estate today. Photo Credit: Michael Shaw A large part of the response from LGBT representation in all behind. And so to allow for their Bury Your Gays trope to die. th th PAGE 8 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 9

FEATURES [email protected] FEATURES [email protected] the short term at least, hinder trade Channel making the UK different The UK yet Scotland vote to remain. A post-Brexit. The IMF, World Bank If you don’t from full Schengen (free movement) similar promise has been touted and OECD have issued reports members. This extends into a treaty in Northern Ireland, with the An idiot’s guide to the EU referendum advising against the UK leaving vote the with France known as “Le Touquet”, is likely to added complication of the Irish the EU, but Brexit supporters urge in which the British border is reunification debate. With the Should we stay or should we go? that on its own two feet the UK will (kinda) in France, something that border between Northern Ireland have more autonomy to spend its elderly will, may or may not disappear if we left be pretty and the Republic of Ireland being Matt Johnston countries, and almost the entirety of taxes and implement its subsidies as the EU. This leads to a situation in the only mainland border the UK News Editor Europe with the notable exceptions it sees fit, in ways more suited to the which refugees could claim asylum disliked at shares with the EU (putting the of Switzerland, Iceland and needs of the British economy. and they’ll in Britain as currently they have to complex situation in Gibraltar Norway. Many countries such as Uncertainty about the economy actually step foot on the mainland aside) there are questions as to ver the course of the Albania, Macedonia, Montenegro, post-Brexit may cause companies be dead to do so. Whether we should be Eurovision whether a ‘hard’ border would have last UK election period Serbia and Turkey have applied for to either reduce investment in the allowing more refugees in is a whole to be imposed, a situation that and for the bulk of 2016 membership and are in the process UK or take their business elsewhere other kettle of fish. should we would likely inflame relations in so far, the media and of being considered. entirely but, if the UK did eventually soon Other more pressing issues are Ireland, a place only recently free of news in general has been focussed become stronger on its own the present too, as the UK is likely to The Troubles. Oon the UK’s membership within And what does the EU do? opposite could happen, with more if other countries see this they’re be pretty disliked at Eurovision leave The internal politics within the the European Union, but what’s The countries within the EU companies choosing to expand their likely to feel cheated, leading to should we leave, although we can’t Conservative Party is another factor actually going on? pay membership fees, vote on laws businesses into the UK rather than either them shunning the UK or really slip down the rankings much arguments presented above may at play, as David Cameron has said in the European Parliament and other EU member states. opting out themselves. A domino further anyway. help or hinder this problem but he won’t serve a third term as PM, Where did the EU come from? citizens of these countries are part The issue of the EU’s growing effect of countries leaving could lead This is by no means anywhere close there is a case to be made that the leaving the door open for a new In essence the European Union of the EU as a whole. This means power, not only over policies and to the collapse of the EU, making to being exhaustive on the debate, migrant issue is bigger than just the leader, who could potentially be (EU) is a group of 28 countries who that these citizens can live, work and law, but to the point of the control trade deals a lot harder should you need to go and research the economic elements it presents and decided by the referendum. Front all have one thing in common: they retire in any other EU country, and of the fiscal policy of each and these countries revert back to their aspects that are most important to is instead an issue of morality. runners George Osborne and Boris all occupy a corner of the world and can move freely from one country to every country is a scenario touted plethora of original currencies. you. One topic that might be close The arguments aroundJohnson are on opposite sides of the have been bickering over who owns another thanks to a treaty known as by anti-EU campaigners. This Some non-EU members are to home is the scientific community immigration and security also argument, with the “winner” likely which part for thousands of years, the Schengen Agreement. scenario would be tricky without a instead part of the European within Europe. Pulling out of this stretch into the recent terrorist to get a boost in the leadership race. often in quite bloody wars. Naturally, the countries also have full currency union, but the UK will Economic Area (EEA) such as might constrict the opportunities attacks in mainland Europe, The upcoming election in the It took one big war (World War to follow the laws set out by the always be more on the fringe of the Norway, Iceland and Switzerland you have to work abroad and make bringing the potential pitfalls of the US may also have ripples this side II) to finally accept that enough EU’s parliament (for better or for EU if it doesn’t change to the euro (kinda) and are not subject to all cross border research harder to Schengen Zone and the successes of the pond too, as if, God forbid, was enough and that some way of worse) and comply with the various from the pound. This would likely the membership fees and all the complete or it may deregulate and of cross border agencies such as Donald Trump were to clinch the stopping this from happening again trade agreements, sanctions and be met with great hostility since the regulations of the EU. This leads to kickstart your industry. Europol to the forefront of media presidency we might be negotiating was needed. The EU was preceded levies imposed. Eurozone crisis was a large factor slightly more freedom but no seat at If you want an opinion on coverage. in a very different world of politics. by two other unions, the European This union is also taken further in the recent global recession, and the EU table deciding the laws that whether Brexit would be a good The recent referendum in Scotland He’s pro-Brexit but who knows Coal and Steel Community and the in 19 of the 28 member states, who was blamed for the high levels of they nevertheless have to follow. In or bad move, your professional has stirred up independence talks how much UK trade would feature European Economic Community, participate in the Eurozone and are In, out, in out, shake it all about. Photo Credit: FELIX youth unemployment in Greece and some cases this has worked for them, institute might be a good place to and the SNP have promised in making America great again (I as a way to tie countries together linked by a single currency. They can’t Spain. but we are a much bigger economy start. Imperial students have also another referendum should the mean the current Secretary of State economically, making them less decide their own monetary policies Furthermore, the Leave campaign and one which relies on sectors set up two opposing campaigns, U K as a whole vote to leave for Business and London Mayor are likely to declare war on each other, individually but the system as a 7th. Obama also voiced his anti-Brexit it. This is compounded by the lack of say that should the UK leave the other than fishing, the Northern the pro-EU ICL Students 4 EU the EU both of Muslim heritage and may something generally regarded as a whole allows for lower transaction Tough luck if you’re any other stance when he was in Britain last a definitive post-EU plan from any EU, trade with European countries Lights and Roger Federer, meaning and the pro-Brexit Students for not be willing or even able to enter good thing. costs and greater price transparency nationality, as even if you’re a long- month, while Donald Trump is of the main political parties/leaders, would still continue; they rely on it might not work out for us or it Britain, which can be found on the US under Trump’s proposals). It grew from just the founding six between member nations. term UK resident and UK taxpayer, unsurprisingly anti-EU. Joey Essex chiefly because they’re all voting to trade with us as much as we rely might work out even better still. Twitter at @Imperial4EU and countries in the 1950s (Belgium, you don’t get a vote. has yet to cast his opinion on the remain. What this means is that for on trade with them. This supposes The issue surrounding security is @SfBImperial respectively. Why should I vote? France, Italy, the Netherlands, And what’s the referendum? From there just a simple majority issue, although he is currently better or for worse, there’s very little a scenario in which the UK gets one that is often screamed about, Whatever happens this is going Luxembourg and West Germany) On June 23rd the UK is having a is needed by one side, with no filming a TV show which tackles evidence to base decisions on. There seemingly all the benefits of trade with both sides arguing that we What else is going on to have effects on your everyday life, adding over half a billion people referendum to decide whether to minimum turnout required. the referendum, so keep your eyes are, however, opinions and studies with the EU without having to would simultaneously be safer in though? so shine your crystal balls, weigh up and 24 official languages to reach stay in the EU or leave, in a sort of peeled for that... aplenty with which you can use pay membership fees. This is not and out of the EU. The sharing of The debate cannot be taken as the risks and benefits of both sides, its current membership levels. The political hokey-cokey (except that So who’s on which side? to form your opinion, but nothing an impossible series of events but information within the EU has an isolated issue, and other global come to a decision and then for the union, once seen as a stronghold once we’re in or out it’ll likely be for The debate has captured the full So, the debate should taken to be a hard and fast been made easier by cooperation political and economic issues love of God, vote. It’s your future. against communism, has n o w a while). If you’re over 18 and are: support of some political parties Both sides have been flinging rule. between nations, but the former undoubtedly cross over into the pros And if you don’t vote the elderly expanded such that it a British citizen living in the UK, a and has divided others, with the statistics and counter-statistics at The debate centres around a few We rely on head of MI6 feels that security and cons of the EU referendum. will, and they’ll be dead soon. encapsulates many British citizen living abroad for less wider public split too. The SNP each other, with a huge amount of key arguments concerning areas would increase should the UK One of the most prevalent of these of the former than 15 years, an EU citizen and Lib Dems have all confusion ensuing. In essence, as such as the economy, immigration leave. This is based on allowing us has been the ongoing refugee crisis, ICU is holding an EU debate on the “Eastern Bloc” resident in the their MPs supporting the with many things in life, there are few and security, and further issues sectors to drop the European Convention with immigration a key point 2nd of June in Skempton 164. Check U K Remain campaign as well certainties and there is a risk in both under these umbrellas. The economy on Human Rights (to allow us being argued by Facebook for details. as almost all Labour MPs, staying in the EU, as well as leaving is arguably the most important of other than to deport criminals such as Abu the leave whereas around 130 of the 330 these, with it being a case of whether Hamza), share information more camp. (as Conservative MPs are backing the membership of the EU helps or freely with non-EU countries, as The long Leave campaign, despite David Joey Essex hurts UK trade deals as well as the fishing, the well as strengthen our borders as you only vote Cameron throwing all his weight issue of sovereignty. from movement of terrorists in European elections in the behind staying in the EU. While it can be said that the EU that reside within the EU. The UK) or a Republic of Ireland Notable dissension within the has yet to means countries are, in some cases, Northern Convention on Human Rights or Commonwealth citizen Conservative ranks has come from locked into trade deals with large, is usually seen as a good thing on (this also includes the 2 Boris Johnson (former Mayor of cast his emerging markets such as China Lights and the whole though, and this would EU member states of London) and Michael Gove (the and India (with whom we may have be unlikely to be dropped (I mean Malta and Cyprus) current Justice Secretary). Jeremy gotten a better deal by negotiating Britain did draft the original rights and are resident in Corbyn, once a staunch EU critic opinion on solo) the countries that the UK Roger in the first place). the UK, then you’re has now come out in favour of does a substantial amount of trade The counterargument on our eligible to vote as long remaining, although the jury is the issue with are EU members. This means Federer borders does have a bit of a twist as you register before June the still out as to how sincere this was. barriers between us and them may, in too, with the 20 miles of English th th PAGE 10 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 11

SEX [email protected] SEX [email protected] Virtual reality porn is a game-changer What makes a good GUM clinic? You really need to make sure that your bedroom door is locked Getting tested can be a fun day out Anonymous website earlier this year. Once an mounted displays completely Writer inaccessible oddity, VR porn is now separate you from your surroundings, Anonymous and who I didn't feel completely designated risk level (I was placed queues and pop to another clinic that you completely forget all about available to everyone for free. So, I so if you’ve ever been worried about Writer comfortable with. You can tell that in the same risk group as men who upstairs for a quick pinprick test if them the moment you leave. guess I had to try it. someone bursting in and catching the staff are genuinely passionate have sex with men for money, which that's all you need. And before you leave, don't forget hen Palmer Luckey To transport yourself to another you in the act, VR porn probably about sexual health and disease is almost an achievement), they're I think sexual health clinics are to take some free condoms. As well kickstarted the world, first you have to leave your isn’t for you. Not only will you pparently I engage in prevention, and that they want to incredibly thorough, and usually a bit of a social equaliser. From as the generic Mates condoms (the virtual reality own reality. Unfortunately, head look like some sort of futuristic risky sexual behaviour. provide the best patient care. offer a full barrage of tests even if the teenage girls giggling and same ones available at the Union revolution in 2012 sex-addicted spaceman, but you This means that like the They'll quiz you in detail on you've only had protected sex with whispering amongst themselves, to Reception, if you need any), if you I doubt he expected that one of probably won’t even be aware when good millennial I am, your partners within the last three one person one time. the suited and booted city banker ask nicely, they'll give you some primaryW uses of his new technology You look someone does enter the room (and I have to periodically get tested to months, and ask you some general Alongside the usual tests and type, you see all sorts of people, all higher quality condoms, usually would be pornography. We’ve seen that could be a little embarrassing). makeA sure that I'm free from the questions about longer term treatments for chlamydia and there for the same reason – they either Durex or Skyn. smartphones change the way we Ignoring all the potential awkward nasties that make sex a little less risk factors. Regardless of your gonorrhoea, the Jefferiss Wing lets want to have safe sex. While most Within a week or so, you'll get watched porn, and VR is set to do like some situations that might occur, virtual fun and a little more infectious you opt in for on the spot hepatitis people probably spend their time a text telling you either that your the same. While 3D porn itself reality porn is pretty rad. This guy looks like he’s having a great time. Photo Credit: askmen.com (and not in a good way). Although B vaccinations (as well as hepatitis waiting making up stories about results were all negative, or that you is nothing new (it’s been around It succeeds for a number of there are many sexual health If you ask A, if you've been rimming gay men, why each person is there, you'll find need to call the clinic. They send for decades), virtual reality porn sort of reasons. Remember those gimmicky anytime soon. In the meantime, reversed. If there was ever a reason clinics in London, many of which which I would recommend). There's these results out as soon as they is significant in that it is able to in-your-face bits in 3D films? VR it opens up a whole new range of to try VR porn this would be it. are excellent and come with rave something incredibly reassuring have them from their in-house lab simulate physical presence via a porn directors have taken note, and experiences and experiments to us. For now, I expect virtual reality reviews (with a particular shout out nicely, about being immune to an incurable Sexual – once my friend got hers back the combination of head tracking and futuristic this new genre of adult film consists Virtual reality, from the beginning, porn will remain nothing more than to the Dean Street Clinic in Soho), disease, so if given the option, you same day. When I'm waiting for stereoscopic vision. The porn set entirely of scenes where you have has been advertised as the ability an intrigue. However, as technology my personal preference is Imperial should definitely opt in. this text, I tend to get a bit paranoid is now all encompassing and you dicks and tits dangled in front of to experience something as if it advances and display resolutions College's own Jefferiss Wing in St they'll give As well as taking blood for more health and make all sorts of declarations become the porn star. No longer sex- your face. Probably more interesting were reality or from someone else’s increase, virtual reality has a good Mary's Hospital. thorough testing, anyone worried about how I'd rather not know, if merely the spectator, you are now a is how enclosing your face in a perspective. In the past, I’d never chance at replacing conventional One of the problems with walk- can also get immediate fingerprick only to spare this torture. However, spectre in another person’s body. addicted headset makes everything feel far been curious enough to watch porn pornography. And once it’s replaced in clinics is the unknown wait, but you some HIV testing, which is a fairly clinics are I enjoy talking about my sex life, Porn sites have been quick to react more intimate than, say, watching aimed at the opposite sex. However, that, combine it with networking the Jefferiss Wing offers you the unusual offer, but very helpful if, like so evaluating my partners with to the rise of virtual reality headsets, the same video on your phone or there’s something incredibly technologies, sex toys, weird AI opportunity to book a slot via text, higher me, you become convinced that you someone who is qualified to offer with PornHub introducing a spaceman computer. There’s no interactivity powerful about experiencing sex, sexbots and it might just replace sex although just walking in, I've never have every transmittable infection a bit of advice is a good day out in my book. virtual reality section on their (yet), so, it’s unlikely to replace sex and presence, when the roles are itself. waited an unreasonable amount of the moment you enter the clinic. Even if you don't, I think it is really time. And, from the moment you quality Of course, this only tells you your a social important to get checked regularly, walk in, to the moment you're seen, status up to three months ago, so it's if not for your own health, then for you're kept pretty well updated on important to get this done regularly the safety of those you have sex with. how long you'll be waiting. To keep condoms if you're worried. Luckily, they have equaliser Oh, and you'll be pleased to know you entertained, as well as college a system where you can skip the that my last tests were totally clear. networks, there's free wifi (although How to have sex in halls YouTube is blocked, sadly). Everything in this clinic is We’re all jealous of our friends at uni outside London completely anonymised. You're asked to give your name and address to the staff when you arrive, which Anonymous summer break. But if you live in a 1. The scheduler messaging the kitchen whatsapp well be watching you (Beit laundry is exchanged for an anonymised Writer shared room in halls, it strongly Most roommates are pretty group complaining about it. Unless room, I’m looking at you). patient number that you'll be called limits the privacy available for the reasonable about giving you the you like being walked in on, pre- by (make sure that you remember exciting sexual encounters that room for a few hours, providing agreeing a warning signal is key, 4. The borrower it, you'll want to have it if you ith exams finishing we’re all craving. Some of you may they’re not still revising while even if it’s just a courtesy text or a If you have particularly liberal come back again). Although you and the sun coming have already worked out how to get you’re totally free. I’ve known sock on the doorknob. If you do like friends, you may find someone can theoretically lie about your out, Imperial is a around this, and for others this may roommate pairs who’ve negotiated being walked in on, see tip number willing to lend you their single room name and address, nothing is hive of frenzied be a new problem. Anyway, here’s alone time for sex, masturbation, or three. if they, say, go away for the weekend. transferred to your primary medical sexual activity, as inhibitions are some advice for you to make the even Skyping home, so depending You may have to withstand some records without your consent, and shedW in anticipation of the long most of the rest of the summer term. on your relationship with your 3. The spontaneous good-natured ribbing, offer up the address dictates which local roommate, you don’t necessarily There are plenty of semi- bribes, Febreeze their room, and authority they charge for the testing. need to be completely honest with private spaces, both in halls and hopefully launder their sheets, but On arrival, you're asked whether them. Of course, this requires a elsewhere on campus, that you in exchange for that, you can enjoy you're experiencing any symptoms, degree of organisation from you and can sneak off too and enjoy each getting nasty in private. need emergency treatments, or are your partner. other’s company. These vary from there for a check up, and based on essentially private (lockable rooms) 5. The exhibitionist that you'll be put in line to see either 2. The inconsiderate to risky (empty common rooms in Or you can just wait until your a doctor or a nurse. They also do You could just go for it when the middle of the night), and in roommate falls asleep and then go cervical smears while you're there, if your roommate is out. Most people, my experience, the acceptable level at it. You have to be painfully quiet, you've been too lazy to get around to upon returning to their room and of risk is proportional to the level and they may wake up and be a having one done with your regular finding their roommate having sex, of horniness. A word of warning bit traumatised, but it’s probably doctor. will back out and find something though, particularly in halls, more fair game – they’ve definitely I've never seen anyone at this else to do for a little while, even of the public spaces have CCTV masturbated when you’ve been clinic, doctor or nurse, who wasn't This is the face of a man who’s seen things. Photo Credit: Jurassic Park if they are passive-aggressively than you’d expect, and security may asleep before. kind, friendly, and non-judgemental, Don't these look like people you'd want to stick a speculum up your foof? Photo Credit: BBC th th PAGE 12 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 13

SCIENCE [email protected] SCIENCE [email protected] Science, what’s good? Sh!t Sc!ence Lef Apostolakis Biofeedbacked Churning out Aliens? Placental RNA Scientists ask if children are werewolves, conclude they’re not MARIANNE GUENOT Science Editor farming new materials Probably not shield t Sh!t Sc!ence, has an influence on the sleep cycle staggering conclusion (drumroll regulating functions such as What ocean Scientists have developed and Inventing new materials with Remember when earlier last year The role of a long non coding we like to defend of children. Regardless of whether please): The full moon alters sleep hormone production, body tested a biofeedback system that desired properties could become a paper came out highlighting a RNA (lncRNA) sequence has been research that may you’ve used the moon’s phases as patterns in about 1% of cases. Lead temperature and brain wave acidification? uses the plants’ physiological much faster and easier, using an star which seemed to be blocked identified as protecting the unborn seem insignificantan excuse for your behaviour, there scientist Dr. Jean-Philippe Chaput, activity. This clock reacts to performance to regulate lighting. information-based adaptive design by a large number of irregular baby from invading pathogens. or futile. We believe that all is no scientific evidence to support from the Eastern Ontario Research external cues such as exposure ut of 2,501 members This new method may greatly strategy. As put by Turab Lookman, objects, suggesting the presence of The new study published in researchA projects go through a the idea that the full moon drive us Institute said, “Overall, I think we to light and temperature, and of the British public reduce the energy cost of LED one of the scientists behind the alien megastructures? A number of Molecular and Cellular Biology, is complicated selection process crazy, not even a little. That was until should not be worried about the full a more subtle understanding recently surveyed by lighting, employed by controlled new approach, “starting with a studies have since been published the first to identify a lncRNA in during which a group of learned a team of top scientists decided to moon. Our behaviours are largely of circadian rhythms has scientists from Cardiff environment agriculture facilities, relatively small data set of well- for and against the Dyson sphere the placenta involved in immune intellectuals congregate and revisit this outdated notion. To avoid influenced by many other factors allowed us, for instance, to University’s School of Psychology, such as vertical farms. By measuring controlled experiments, it is possible argument, the latest showing that system regulation. LncRNAs are decide what particular pieces of any social, economic or geographical like genes, education, income and synchronise drug delivery with Oonly twenty percent were aware chlorophyll production and putting to iteratively guide subsequent prior evidence that proposed the non protein-coding transcripts, research need to be conducted biases, they recorded sleep patterns psychosocial aspects rather than the circadian clock and increase of ocean acidification. The study, measurements through a datalogger, experiments toward finding the star had experienced a dimming longer than 200 nucleotides, in order to bridge our gaps in of 5814 children, in twelve different by gravitational forces.” Cue sad drug efficiency and reduce published in the Nature Climate they estimated the electron transport material with the desired target”. of twenty percent, was in fact a involved in the regulation of gene human knowledge. This week, countries, spanning five continents, pacman sound of defeat. toxicity. As some animals have Change journal, is the first to assess rate, which is a photosynthesis The data-driven framework utilising result of fading of the photographic expression. The study looked insights on children - are they for 28 months. This resulted in This rather anticlimactic result been known to have an internal public understanding of the issue. indicator. This allowed them to machine learning is aiming at cutting glass plates that had been taken through existing data to identify werewolves? Science has the a whopping 33,710 recordings does actually shed some light on clock which follows the lunar The study surveyed a representative determine exactly how much light development time of new materials by Harvard astronomers between molecules present at trophectoderm answer! captured by accelerometers strapped an important phenomenon. In cycle, it is not unreasonable sample of Britain, which is the plants needed and modulate by half. Although the particular 1885 and 1993. Still, even with cells which give rise to the placenta, This is the questioned tackled to the children’s chests for the whole the recent years, there has been to evaluate whether humans alarming. Dr Stuart Capstick says lighting accordingly. The datalogger model developed by Lookman the twenty percent dimming taken zeroing in on lncRHOXF1. After by an extensive study published time. increased attention to what is called could be affected by the phases that although they didn’t expect to in turn altered the duty cycle of the and his team at Los Alamos and off the table, Tabby’s star remains characterisation, in vitro modelling in Frontiers in Pediatrics. By cross-referencing these the circadian clock. This internal of the moon, and this research find high levels of public awareness, LED lighting source, optimizing the State Key Laboratory for highly mysterious. There still is no and identification of the location of research aimed to determine readings to the phase of the moon, God dammit there’s a full moon again ‘clock’ regulates how our body helps us close the door on that the extent of obliviousness amongst the process. The biofeedback system Mechanical Behaviour of Materials conclusive explanation as to why its expression, they observed that whether the phase of the moon the scientists came to the following Photo Simon Thomas reacts at different times of the day, possibility. laymen was surprising. Things can successfully maintain a wide in China had to narrow down its the star’s light curve is anomalous. altering expression levels, impacted become meta now; when subjects range of ETR (photosynthesis) pool of combinations to nickel- Boyajian, the leading scientist expression of viral RNA, after became aware of the percentage of values in different species, as well as titanium-based shape-memory behind this latest study investigating infecting lncRHOXF1 blocked unawareness there was a jump in take into consideration light to heat alloys for the sake of simplicity, the the mysterious star propose the cells with Sendai virus. The team is Natasha Khaleeq concern… which then subsided once conversions and chloroplast damage system can be adapted to optimise fragmentation of a large comet into interested in exploring applications Writer ocean acidification was connected when making efficiency decisions. desired manufacturing applications a swarm of smaller ones. of their findings to Zika control. This week’s science picture to climate change. Hm. and properties. onservationists have Capstick et al. 2016 @ Nature Van Irsel et al. 2016 @ J. Amer. Xue et al. 2016 @ Nature Hippke et al. 2016 @ Astrophysical Penkala et al. 2016 @ Molecular launched a worldwide Climate Change Soc. Hort. Sc Communications Journal and Cellular Biology campaign asking the public to help combat illegal wildlife trade. Despite efforts Cto prevent the billion pound industry, it continues to grow. A recent & the City increase in poaching threatening Naomi Stewart Science species has raised concerns about scientific brain capacity is spent be placed in a pre-determined matrix the long-term survival of iconic Writer thinking about how to acquire and of financial value simply because of animals such as elephants and justify sources of funding from their practical applications in the rhinos. Shockingly, rhino horn today drying wells. Skilled researchers and economic market – say for instance, can reaches a price of £45704.47 e’re caught in an odd their teams spend countless days, the development of a new type of per kg – more than the price of crux of perspectives months, even years pandering to rubber for tyres. But there is much gold. Crime prevention agencies on justificationsadministrative managers who often research that has less clear and compare criminals targeting wildlife for science and only see a chart of red lines that more indirect measurable economic to human traffickers. The illegal technology. There’s the age-old idea need to be converted to black. Many impact. How do you calculate the industry must be stopped. The ofW fundamental research having scientists claim upwards of 30% or return-on-investment for 30 years- Taronga Conservation Society in inherent, non-monetary value greater of their time is now taken worth of data on water levels in the Australia developed a smartphone as a social service - sort of like a up simply finding funds. This also Thames, or the discovery of a new app called Wildlife Witness. It library, providing building blocks disproportionately affects younger species of moth in the Amazon? allows the public to submit images of knowledge we can all draw from. researchers who can’t secure funding American physicist Richard and data of suspicious items on Increasingly, however scientists are based on their ‘brand’ the way more Feynman once argued that the three sale in partnership with Traffic, the having to prove the financial value established scientists can. primary values of science are: it wildlife trade monitoring network. and the return-on-investment Whether we can blame recent enables us to do and make all kinds Originally the app’s focus was South of their research in order to get austerity measures, or reach further of things, it provides intellectual East Asia, however Chester Zoo funding, much the way someone back and point at shifts like the rise enjoyment in doing and thinking aims at raising awareness across getting a loan from a bank for, say, a of neoliberalism decades ago, we about it, and it teaches us to remain Europe. San Diego Zoo will do start-up cupcake stand does. When should regardless be considering the unsure and in doubt. So how sure the same in the US. This campaign you factor in the increasing amount impact of having scientific research are we that the pursuit of scientific allows people to take action so Traffic of time scientists have to spend funding tightly intertwined with knowledge needs to be constantly can identify trends in wildlife trade with their hats-in-hands writing economic drivers and determinants. weighted against economic National Science Foundation, funding source for 24% of all research conducted to influence enforcement policies. grants, submitting proposals, – an Some fields or areas of science may measures? by America’s universities and colleges which are federally supported. Photo The Rhino, a powerful symbol for the world when it comes to the conservation of species. Photo Credit: Paul Hudson incredible amount of our collective have obvious direct impacts that can Credit: Wikipedia felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13th MAY 2016 PAGE 15

MUSIC [email protected] The protest album of the decade ANOHNI’s solo debut album is an unhinged attack on the status quo

Cale Tilford her own opinions but does so in a Music and Games Editor manner which is blatantly sarcastic, but could easily be mistaken for the establishment. In reference to ope was the word that the estimated increase in global came to represent Obama’s presidential campaign back in It is always 2008. For a few brief moments the worldH – inspired by Shepard Fairey’s direct; iconic poster – genuinely believed that change might finally come to neoliberal America. After eight nothing is years in office, Obama has grown old and the energy that once defined him has dissipated, along with many ever held of his promises. ANOHNI’s debut solo album Hopelessness is not kind back or to America and Obama. It presents the obvious truths and struggles that have defined the politics of the 21st hidden Century: the rise of drone warfare, the defeat of environmentalism, mass-surveillance, and the under hypocritical attitude of Western nations. It is always direct; nothing multiple is ever held back or hidden under multiple layers of meaning. The result is a beautifully modern and layers of accessible experimental protest record. meaning Co-produced by both Ross Birchard (Hudson Mohawke) and Daniel Lopatin (Oneohtrix Point temperature by the end of the Never), the album is often dark and century (if no actions are taken), she brooding, complementing its serious sings: “It’s only 4 degrees, it’s only 4 subject matter. At other times, the degrees / I wanna see this world, I tone is more upbeat – emulating wanna see it boil.” While this is an Drone bomb me. Photo Credit: ANOHNI pop songs to reflect the glorification obvious attack on her government, of death and justice in some parts of it is possible she is also examining drone bomb.” From this perspective The most open attack on Obama reflecting the prophet-like status American society. On ‘Execution’, her own attitude to the environment she exclaims “Drone bomb me / is on the track named after him. Obama secured in his initial ANOHNI sings “Execution / It’s and her lack of action. This theme of Blow me from the mountains / And It is delivered like a call to prayer, campaign for president: “When an American dream,” with the hopelessness and inability to force into the sea.” Looking at the choice you were elected / The world cried former delivered so enthusiastically change throughout the world runs of themes reflected on throughout for joy.” But now he is “Punishing that it sounds like a celebration. through the album. the album, this is more than just a the whistleblowers / Those who This song, like many others on the The message of ‘I Don’t Love You criticism of America – it is aimed at This is more tell the truth” – a stark contrast to album, is draped in irony. In a more Anymore’, in contrast to rest of the Obama himself. his promise of a new politics and hushed voice ANOHNI reminds us album, is far less obvious: “You left Drone bombing is one of the than just a radical change. of the hypocrisy of America. “Like me in a broken world / You left me many things that has increased in The final two tracks offer little the Chinese and the Saudis / The lying in the street / You left me frequency under his administration. hope. They paint a picture of a planet North Koreans and the Nigerians,” without body heat.” It seems more Another high profile issue that criticism of destroyed by over-consumption. America is one of the few nations like an attack on the general system comes up – brought to light in Even ANOHNI admits “I’ve that still has the death penalty. of capitalism (that America exports 2013 by Edward Snowden – is America – been taking more than I deserve.” On the back of her Academy globally) than an attack on a specific the NSA’s mass surveillance of ‘Marrow’, the album’s closer is a Award nomination this year for section of American oppression. American citizens. ‘Watch Me’ is a metaphor for America’s exploitation Best Original Song ‘Manta Ray’ – ‘Drone Bomb Me’ focuses on conversation with an NSA agent: it is aimed of the world’s resources and a song about biodiversity and the drone warfare and the West’s acts “I know you love me / ‘Cause you’re governments; it has unashamedly destruction of nature – ANOHNI of terror throughout the world. always watching me.” ANOHNI extracted and injected. There is no reflects further on the environment ANOHNI describes it as “a love criticises a system that suggests at Obama hope: “We are, we are all Americans during the album’s lead single ‘4 song from the perspective of a girl in it is trying to protect us from evil, now.” Degrees’. Like much of the album, on Afghanistan… looking up at the sky terrorism and child molesters (this himself ‘4 Degrees’ performs as an alter-ego and she’s gotten herself to a place is her list, not mine) but is based on Hopelessness by ANOHNI is out of sorts; this character contradicts where she just wants to be killed by a the assumption we are all guilty. now on Rough Trade

th th PAGE 18 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 19

FILM [email protected] FILM [email protected] The top three Japanese Films Florence Foster Jenkins and the Documentary corner: King of Kong Ben Collier The documentary is aware of the that aren’t Writer eccentricities of the topic and has fun with it – because of this, the Animated cinematic allure of musical enigmas s this will be my last audience is also able to have fun too. Documentary Corner Overall, however, it is the story wo weeks ago I slagged ast week saw the release singer, before she ensconced herself commentators speculated about hospital. As Korea explores its feature of the year, I that drives everything. At points off the French film- of Florence Foster Jenkins, in her dilapidated mansion, and her whereabouts, fuelled by online recent history, with novelists like thought it fitting to end one begins to question if Mitchell making philosophy. In a biopic based on the life fell into poverty. Grey Gardens is a bootlegs of her recordings. In 2012 Han Kang leading the charge, it’s on a high note, with my favourite is even a real person: he’s so an effort to be more one of the worst singers of disturbing, twisted film, in which the she came out of retirement, the time a film was made about Shin, documentaryA of all time – King deliciously evil he even looks like positive this week, I’m going all time – Florence Foster Jenkins destitution of the main characters resurgence in interest securing her a and his daring refusal to conform. of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. It a cheesy Hollywood villain – think to heap praise on my favourite was widely regarded as a completely is only enlivened by Little Edie’s record deal and a world tour. We all works in every way a documentary Ben Stiller in Dodgeball. If it weren’t T L Connie Converse film-producing country – Japan. hopeless singer, a fact she didn’t frequent quotable lines – ‘I only love a redemption tale in film, and should, and then some. Director for the genuine sincerity of it all, Looking past the endlessly let get in the way of attempting to care about three things: dancing, the fact that she’s still performing Finally, the saddest tale of the Seth Gordon was able to create one might mistake King of Kong as churned out anime crap, animated forge a musical career. Recordings swimming, and the Catholic church makes a documentary all the more bunch: Connie Converse moved a suspenseful, exciting, and a mockumentary, but at the end of Japanese cinema may very well be from the time betray a complete – and Big Edie breaking out into necessary. to New York City in the 1940s, completely engrossing film about the day, despite some silliness, the the best in the world. – Miyazaki, lack of pitch, rhythm, intonation, song. In her late 70s when the hoping to break it in the gestating one of the strangest and most niche story of Steve Wiebe is an inspiring Katsuhiro Ôtomo and Mamoru and tone – a fact that may have been film came out, Big Edie’s voice is Shin Jung-Hyun folk scene. While popular with topics imaginable – competitive one. Having such a genuine and Hosoda are unmatched in the linked to a syphilis-linked decay of as strong as ever, belying an early All the best musicians fight other musicians on the scene, for Donkey Kong. easy-to-root-for protagonist cuts eyes of many critics. But it would her central nervous system. Cheery! talent. A film looking at her early against ‘the man’, but South Korea’s whom Converse would perform, her As I said in one of the older through a lot of the humour to give be nice for live action films get a While the Stephen Frears-directed life would be a fantastic companion “Godfather of Rock”, Shin Jung- melancholic folk was never popular editions of documentary corner, a a touching heart to a truly unique look in: film, starring Meryl Streep, may piece to Grey Gardens. Hyun went further than most. with the public. Her songs a both good documentary can take a topic and wonderful project. Originally, have been welcomed with more Active in the 1960s and 70s, Shin winsome and tragic, and Converse you love and make it exciting and the film was supposed to be about Tokyo Sonata (2008) praise than Jenkin’s singing voice, The Space Lady became known in Korea for his was really ahead of her time – one interesting, but a great documentary retro gaming culture as a whole (we When reviewing the French she’s not the only outsider musician Moving on, The Space Lady, a psychedelic-tinged rock, which of the earliest singer-songwriters should be able to get the same “Well maybe they’d like it if I’d lose. Maybe I should try losing sometime.” – Billy Mitchell. Photo Credit: King of Kong PR see a little bit of this with small ‘style’ of filmmaking I commented out there who deserves to have a paradigm of the outsider music drew on the influences introduced in a world that would soon become reaction for a topic you know features on other world champions on its annoying fascination with film made about her. Here are four movement, spent much of the 1970s by marines stationed at U.S. Army saturated with them. Following the nothing about. King of Kong is about like ‘Roy Awesome’), but the endless dialogue and rich young more left-field performers who and 80s singing melancholic covers bases. It drew the attention of stratospheric success of Bob Dylan, two men competing for the Donkey The director has a lot of fun with – an incredibly humble and likeable evil, and it’s handled perfectly. narrative Mitchell and Wiebe gave people’s tiresome love lives. No deserve a movie of their own: of popular songs on the streets of President Park Chung-Hee, who she left New York for Ann Arbor, Kong world-record high score. classic Hollywood archetypes when guy, who is intimidated and picked There is bundles of style to be the producers was just too good to film shows off the vastly superior Boston and San Francisco. Initially asked Shin to write a song in praise and then in 1974 she distributed Since it came out, a lot of people showing us the two men: Mitchell on by Mitchell and his goons at found here. A fine line is walked ignore. As such, the story unfolded Japanese filmmaking philosophy Big Edie accompanied by an accordion, she of the presidency – Shin refused, notes to her family and friends, and have taken to simply referring to it is an icon in the world of arcade every turn as he tries to achieve the between silliness and seriousness, throughout filming, and we get to as Tokyo Sonata. Much like a Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale, later made the switch to a Casio and instead composed ‘Beautiful set off in her Volkswagen Beetle for as ‘Billy vs Steve’ because of its two gaming, holding countless world first truly extraordinary thing in his between drama, action, and comedy. experience the narrative progress modern-day Tokyo Story, the film otherwise known as ‘Big Edie’, synthesiser keyboard, which gave Rivers and Mountains’, a song a better life. She was never heard main characters – Billy Mitchell records and has an ego to match. life. This underdog story really does The editing and style of filming also just as the filmmakers did. And is a classic Japanese slice-of-life may have already had a film her songs a cosmic edge; despite the that extolled the natural beauty of from again. A documentary in the and Steve Wiebe. Wiebe is an outsider to this culture boil down to a classic tale of good vs lends a great retro feel to each scene. what a narrative it is. drama focused on family and made about her – in the form of limitations of the synthesiser, which Korea, and ironically took its name style of Searching for Sugar Man, appreciating small things in life. Albert and David Maysles’ 1975 only has six rhythm patterns, from a line in the national looking for where Converse went, documentary Grey Gardens, which she managed to convert an anthem. Needless to would bring her beautiful folk to 13 Assassins (2010) charts the destructive and isolating astonishing range of music say, President Park light. Much like Tokyo Sonata is a relationship between her and her into her unique vision. didn’t take it well, and FRED FYLES Courses for Undergraduates 2016–2017 modern-day, version of the classic daughter, ‘Little Edie’ – but such a Retiring in 2000, many Shin was tortured in Tokyo Story, 13 Assassins represents large character deserves a film all of prison, before being a new-and-improved version of her own. Beale, the aunt of Jackie committed to a Seven Samurai. It tells the classic Kennedy, used to be an amateur psychiatric story of an elite team taking on Imperial Horizons hordes of bad-guys threatening a poor village, with everything ramped up to 11. Seven Samurai On-line enrolment is open until Sunday 26 June 2016 may be the critic’s favourite but for current undergraduates entering their 2nd, never try to challenge Takeshii Mike on violent spectacle. 3rd and 4th years in October 2016 Departures (2008) I’m surprised that I’ve never spoken about Departures before. The problem is that it’s hard to describe it in a way that does justice to how beautiful and life Denitely a good addition affirming it is. It tells of a newly unemployed cellist who takes to my daily life at Imperial up a job preparing the dead for their funerals. The film is hugely intelligent and uniquely emotional. It explores the topics Find out more at www.imperial.ac.uk/horizons of death, family, and Japanese sensibilities better than any other Priority will be given to students enrolling before Wednesday 1 June 2016 film I have ever seen. BEN COLLIER (L-R): Connie Converse, Little Edie and Big Edie, Shin Jung-Hyun, The Space Lady. Photo Credit: YouTube/Creative Commons/Light in the Attic/Upset the Rhythm th th PAGE 20 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 21

TV [email protected] TV [email protected] This week on Game of Thrones Cartoon Corner: Vixen Harry Wilkinson her roaming around, being a strong Saad Ahmed black woman helps to bring more Writer independent woman who don’t Television Editor diversity to the set of mainstream need no Khal. So they decide she’s superheroes. The show details her either dead or going to stay in their evolution from confused fashion nother week, another retirement home forever. pinning out of the CW’s designer to someone embracing her load of dead characters. Tyrion’s remains awkward as hell live action DC shows is an roots and becoming the hero she’s We start off where we trying to fit in at Meereen with animated one by the name destined to be. It’s a fairly simple, left last time with Jon Dany’s advisors before Varys comes of Vixen. This series takes tried and tested formula but one Snow wondering what the hell just in to pick up the conversation with place in its own corner of the called happenedA after being stabbed in some juicy goss about the nearby S‘Arrowverse’, offering a take on a the heart, Melisandre wondering cities plotting against them. Maybe different kind of hero, as well as It’s a fairly how on Earth she just did that and something interesting will happen using animation to do the things Davos trying to remember how he in Meereen after all! too expensive for live action. This got involved in this storyline in the venture is mostly successful but not simple, first place. Jon then puts some pants without its faults. on to talk to the Night’s Watchmen She’s either The biggest thing the series has and Wildlings that had gathered to against it is the fact that it’s so short. tried and see him. He doesn’t end up saying Despite being 6 episodes long, the Another hero is in on the aciton. Photo Credit: The CW much and it’s not even 5 minutes dead or entirety of season 1 adds up to a total back in the realm of the living before of around 30 minutes. As a result of tested the action sequences are well- wonder if there’s any point to their Mari and her supporting characters Tormund says he’s got a small dick. this, we get a story that, while being done. They successfully portray the appearances. They don’t really serve Still, Vixen has more ups than Jon seems to have a thing about going to Welcome back home! Photo Credit: HBO good and entertaining, feels rushed power of having the abilities of the story in any way and are more or downs and is a welcome addition to getting insulted by gingers. at times. The villains suffer the most formula any animal you can choose, which less glorified cameos, reminding us the slew of comic-book adaptations. We then return to Sam and Gilly zombie friend to chat about Cersei’s playing a game of Lie and Get quite what yet. from this treatment, not being given would be tricky, if not expensive, to that these are the heroes who share With season one only being around on their first family cruise together stay in their oncoming trial by combat and how Slapped (essentially the Braavosi We finish, back where we started, enough motivation as well as having which nonetheless makes for an continuously render in live action. It the same universe as Vixen. It’s half an hour long, this is a series that where she finds out they’re staying her being paraded naked down the version of Jeremy Kyle). She gives at the Wall where Jon is having a their defeat and aftermath largely engaging and entertaining story. makes one hope that the CW would more frustrating given the fact that can be easily watched and might with his parents while Sam goes streets has in no way mellowed away her personal information like nice public execution to celebrate glossed over. The tone of the show is just right, try this experiment again in the long with fewer time on these heroes, we provide some welcome relief from to college. Always an awkward retirement her out. Incesty Team Rocket then she’s being audited by the Church of his rebirth. Sergeant Douchebag Still, there’s plenty to like here. making it feel like its own thing run, and hopefully introduce more could have had more time expanding all the revision. situation meeting the boy’s family. marches up to the Small Council Scientology until sexy Yoda decides insists on getting a last few words We see the story of Mari McCabe while not being bogged down by heroes with more bizarre powers. on and developing Mari’s story. The The most interesting scene of home chambers before being told that no to give her vision back. in before he gets done in whereas who’s trying to work out the secret the limitations of its sister shows. The Flash and Arrow also show up, voice acting on the guest stars also Vixen is available on CW Stream the episode was the flashback with one wants to sit on their lunch table We then return to the North everyone’s least favourite teenager of her past. The fact that she’s a The animation is top notch and though in a way which makes one feels a little stiff, in stark contrast to Bran, this time back to Ned fighting so they’re left alone again. where Ramsay is struggling to fill Olly instead opts for just scowling Arthur Dayne at the Tower of forever Li’l’ King Tommen then heads Daddy’s boots. He’s attempting to at Jon like he just got sent to his Joy. It’s pretty obvious what this down to the prison to ask the High keep a member of House Umber room. After this short interlude, is leading up to but if anyone’s Sparrow (AKA Birdie Sanders) for under control that’s repeatedly Jon drops the bomb of deciding to not caught it yet I won’t spoil. I’m Back to King’s Landing and his wifey and his mummy back. calling him a prick to his face. It leave the Night’s Watch, apparently definitely looking forward to this Qyburn is giving orphaned kids Sanders then sits the boy down looked like this guy’s head was citing some of the fine print in the revelation though. sweeties so that they’ll talk to him. to talk about why the gods think about to roll before revealing he oath that says if you get murdered Daredevil Seasonfor her own goals. 2 While Elektra’s female character who acknowledges Dany’s not having the best time, It’s actually one of the least creepy his wife’s a hoe and his mum’s a had Rickon Stark and Osha with by a bunch of arseholes you can do backstory is significantly changed her sexuality without being defined turns out the Dothraki are about things about him in all honestly. dickhead. Tommen seems fairly him, two characters last seen in whatever you like. from the comics, going from a entirely by it. as keen on feminism as Redditors Cersei and Jamie then storm down convinced by his arguments. the season 3 finale. They are really Overall, I’d say this was a pretty It is these two characters who are, so they weren’t too happy with to his basement lair with their giant Back to Braavos and we find Arya solid episode. The story really is launch a two-pronged attack on going full speed ahead this year, It’s the new Daredevil’s conscience, on the one The story possibly a results of the 7 season hand a man who believes that Matt timeline. There’s still the odd bit hasn’t gone far enough, a man whose of exposition dumping and clunky characters philosophy on crime-fighting is best really is dialogue that tends to come summed up in his own words, “You with D&D writing an episode hit them and they get back up, I hit themselves, but it’s not bad enough who ride them and they stay down”. On the going full to take away from the scale of the other hand a woman who represents events. If I had one complaint it’s freedom from the moral code that that this episode seems a little roughshod binds and defines Matt, a temptress speed rushed, there’s not been much room There’s some new players in town! And they’re not feeling so friendly. Photo Credit: Netflix in both the mental and sexual way. for decent character development Despite the not-infrequent, and this season between all the big Henry Wild on Matt’s struggles with his new episodes in which he does feature over this certainly well done fight scenes, it’s ahead this moments and the emotional impact Writer role and with just what it means to often feel more like Punisher these philosophical battles which of the show has been suffering be a hero. Season 1 than Daredevil 2; a power season makes this season of Daredevil stand year because of it. While the cast from the previous which I greatly hope he keeps when out to me. The battle between the lood once again soaks the season all return with performances Punisher Season 1 actually lands lawyer and the vigilante, between streets of Hell’s Kitchen, just as good as last time’s, it’s the new later this year. woman who finds solace in murder restraint and necessity, between the stretching the viewer’s memories at Game of Thrones is available on New York as Daredevil characters who ride roughshod over In contrast to Jon Bernthal’s to one cut straight from sociopathic man of God and freedom, those are this point, I mean come on! When HBO Go returns to our computer this season. Jon Bernthal’s Punisher unhinged fury and despair, cloth, this by no means detracts the fights that make this season so we last saw them, Donald Trump screens. Whereas the first season and Élodie Yung’s Elektra threaten Élodie Yung brings a more from Yung’s fantastic performance. great. was still funny! Nonetheless, this Bdetailed the rise of Matt Murdock to steal the show, and in a few places refined psychopathy to the table, Although she will likely not win reveal does mean big things coming to the role of red-horn-wearing do just that. The Punisher is such an a character with minimal morals over as many fans as the Punisher, Daredevil Season 2 is available on Good luck with exams everyone! Photo Credit: HBO up for the North, we’re just not sure superhero, this season focuses more avatar of on-screen power that the and no compunctions about acting hers is still a character done well, a Netflix friday 13 May BPM

CHILL, HIP HOP, HOUSE, FUTURE BASS AND DNB Launch Event BPM (Beats Per Minute) will get your heart racing with its changing music Friday 13 May sets throughout the night 17:30 - 01:00

Friday 13 MAY All students are invited to check out the new and 20:00 - 02:00 improved Reynolds Bar! Metric || FiveSixEight There will be free pizza, refreshing cocktails and a DJ from 20:00. coming up! Venue Regular Events Time Day FiveSixEight Super Quiz 20:00 - 22:00 Every Tuesday Metric Cocktail Night 18:00 - 23:00 Every Tuesday Metric & FiveSixEight CSP Wednesday 19:00 - 01:00 Every Wednesday Metric & FiveSixEight Club Night 20:00 - 02:00 Every Friday h-bar Pub Quiz 19:00 - 21:00 2nd & 4th Thursday h-bar PGI Friday 16:00 onwards Every Friday Reynolds Quiz Night 19:00 - 23:00 Every Monday Reynolds Board Games & Film Night 18:00 - 23:00 Every Tuesday Reynolds Pool Club 18:00 - 23:00 Every Wednesday Reynolds Pizza Club 18:00 - 23:00 Every Thursday Reynolds Cocktail Night 17:30 - 01:00 Every Friday The Foundry Quiz Night 19:30 - 22:00 1st & 3rd Thursday The Foundry Karaoke Night 20:00 - 23:30 2nd & 4th Friday imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13th MAY 2016 PAGE 23

GAMES [email protected] Itch.io Nintendo’s twilight years Game Cale Tilford Music and Games Editor of the

hen The Legend Week of Zelda: Twilight Princess was first released in 2006, Nintendo was at a turning point. ItW had just released the Wii, which would radically alter its fortunes, after years of losing sales to Sony with the disappointing GameCube. The years preceding this represented some of Nintendo’s best, and Twilight Princess, in its time, was considered no exception. Since Photo Credit: Crows Crows Crows then Nintendo have attempted to streamline their games, making Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, them both accessible to core and and The Terribly Cursed more casual audiences. Twilight Emerald: A Whirlwind Princess was interesting in the fact Heist that it was released for both the GameCube and Wii, with motion r. Langeskov is the controls added to the latter. The first game by Crows Wii U version of the game is not Photo Credit: Nintendo Crows Crows – a much more than a HD re-release studio formed by game – removing the motion controls to of the game (which even in 2006 now more suited to ‘casual’ gamers. writer and designer William Pugh make it more like the original. looked pretty bad) reflects the Possibly the most illuminating Dof The Stanley Parable fame. The The Wii U, like the GameCube, relatively small increase in detail, It’s a sad feature of the Twilight Princess HD first person exploration game, that has not been the success Nintendo in both geometry and textures, that is its use of Amiibos, Nintendo’s toy- will be familiar to anyone who had hoped for. Both have ended Nintendo’s games have undergone to-life series. The implementation has played Pugh’s previous works, up following similar paths, with in comparison to their rivals. time to be here screams of a company out of lasts around 20 minutes (it’s free, Nintendo, in defeat, focusing on its A number of small gameplay ideas, revisiting old franchises to so don’t complain). In this short core franchises and fans. Twilight features have been simplified to sell toys. Has Nintendo given up? It burst of narrative, Simon Amstell Princess was released during the make certain interactions less a Nintendo seems so. There are no major games voices a stage manager who talks twilight period of the GameCube frustrating (the Wii U controller on the horizon other than Zelda to the player over a loudspeaker. and its HD update has been makes switching items and between gamer and Wii U (the only game they will be His character is both charming and similarly released during the end Link and Wolf a doddle) – in the showing at this summer’s E3). It’s hilarious (which pretty much sums days of the Wii U. By examining same way that Nintendo has added a sad time to be a Nintendo gamer up Amstell). the differences between the two easy modes and refined player a Wii U and a Wii U owner. However, the game’s title is versions, we can come to understand interactions so that their games These are not only the twilight deceiving because, as the result how Nintendo has changed in the are accessible to all. They may years of the Wii U, but the twilights of some unexplained mishap, you last decade. have focused once again on core owner years of an era of Nintendo defined are unable to play the fictional Dr The minimal graphical update franchises, but these games are by a serious lack of growth. Langeskov game, and must instead ensure the game runs smoothly behind the scenes. The player’s environment becomes a metaphor for the mechanics that come together to form a game. Much like a techie (the theatre sort), you must pull levers and press buttons. And Bored of nothing ever goes right.The ‘stage’ directs the player via humorously revising? ANOTHER labeled doors, guided in further detail by Amstell’s often incomprehensible Write for us! directions. Although built in Unity, through a combination of lighting and minimal cell-shading the environments are able to match the CASTLE atmosphere of more substantial, Imperial’s gaming magazine returns later this term retail games. Few studios deliver such bold statements of intent with [email protected] their debut releases. Dr. Langeskov is proof that games don’t need to be long to be exciting or memorable. Photo Credit: Stellaris, Paradox Interactive

felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13th MAY 2016 PAGE 25

FOOD [email protected] Matrix of Eclairs FELIX reviews Maitre Choux, a snazzy patisserie in South Kensington

Christy Lam French hot dogs. Writer And Maitre Choux? To most of you it may be just a patisserie on the ooh-la-la French side of ngineers are pretty South Kensington. In fact, it is obsessed with matrices. the world’s first and only choux As someone from specialist patisserie where the three- Chemical Engineering, vMichelin star chef Joakim Prat I love matrices. Don’t get me transforms the traditional French Ewrong here. I’m not talking about delights into works of art. MATLAB, maths, or even anything You really have to go see for related to numbers. I’m talking yourself. The small shop with a about food. Matrices of food. There simple, white exterior with colourful is no better cure for OCD than dots everywhere. You really cannot staring at perfectly positioned rows miss it between the typical, boring, of doughnuts. old red brick houses. If you are One of those particular matrices lucky, you also get a strong whiff that always succeeds to stop me of that warm, cosy, aromatic scent in my tracks even while being 10 of baking choux drifting from the minutes late to a lecture is eclairs. ovens in the basement. Eclairs from Maitre Choux. Walk closer to the window and you Let’s start with the basics. What will see what I meant by matrices of are eclairs? Wikipedia defines them eclairs. Neat, straight, perfect arrays as “an oblong pastry made with of eclairs in a rainbow of colours. choux dough filled with a cream and Bright red, apple green, sunflower topped with icing.” Or according yellow. Rose pink, coffee brown, to my dear friend Carolyn – posh shining gold. Each beautifully I mean, whoever thought this looked like a ballerina had clearly never actually seen one. Photo Credit: FELIX decorated by hand with tender loving care. Instagram moment. Eclairs? Trust me, they are as good as they look. A delicate, soft choux pastry encasing a velvety smooth cream in Pavlov(a)’s dog Posh surprising and exotic flavours. Think Persian pistachio, Tahitian vanilla ot as complex to make with mango, strawberries and the sugar, one tablespoon at a time. and… popcorn. They update their as a fine éclair, but passion fruit, but will also happily The mixture should transform into french hot creations every season like clothes with just as much flair add pineapple, any fresh berries or a glossy, smooth meringue. Feel in a shop so you will never get and style, a pavlova is a even thinly sliced apple. Just make a small amount inbetween your dogs bored. Pleasure for the mind, mouth delicious summer pudding. Hailing sure that it’s fresh, tasty and ideally fingers – it should be completely and soul. Nfrom New Zealand or Australia, in season. smooth, with no sugar. If there is depending on who you believe, it Ingredients: any, keep whisking to dissolve it. was named after the famed ballerina 6 egg whites, from medium eggs When it’s all dissolved, fold in the Anna Pavlova, whose ethereal frills – make sure there is absolutely no vinegar and cornflour. Scoop the it resembles. It’s a pretty classic egg yolk! mixture onto your prepared paper, dessert now – but for a very good 330g icing sugar (caster can be and spread to your desired shape. I reason. What could go wrong with a used, but takes longer to dissolve) like mine very thick with a chewy/ crispy, marshmallow-like cake with 2 teaspoons white vinegar gooey core, but some people go heaps of whipped cream and fresh 1 teaspoon cornflour thin and crispy. Bake in the oven fruit? 300mls whipping cream for 1-2 hours, turning the oven Well, the short answer is Fresh fruit – see above off as soon as the meringue begins everything. Pavlovas require a lot Speed is key here. Preheat the to colour. Don’t worry if it leaks a of arm work – or an electric beater oven to 120C – and don’t use small amount of sugar syrup. Turn – to make the meringue, which the fan. Line a baking tray with the oven off, and leave the meringue after all that effort can split and greaseproof paper, and draw a circle to cool inside with the door open. become watery in the oven. After on it as a template for your pavlova. When completely cool, start your careful beating and baking, the Take a large mixing bowl and make building the pavlova. Whip the meringue can then collapse as you sure it is very clean – any fat will cream – add a touch of icing sugar let it rest. stop the egg whites from whipping. if you like, or maybe some fruit This recipe is designed to be as fool Add all the egg whites, and start puree – and spoon that over the proof as possible, but you do have to beating! It’s easiest to use a whisk, base. Top with the fresh fruit, and follow all the steps as accurately as though some people swear by a maybe sprinkle some toasted flaked possible! fork. This stage is much easier with almonds or white chocolate curls on I wonder if he leaves chocolate squares wherever he goes. Fruit wise, it’s entirely up to you – electric beaters. Once they reach top. Devour. Photo Credit: Christy Lam I am particularly fond of a pavlova very stiff peaks, start incorporating SANJAY BHATTACHARYA th th PAGE 26 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 27

PUZZLES [email protected] PUZZLES [email protected] 11 Accommodate (5) 12 Something to aim for (6) FUCWIT 14 Country formerly part of Yugoslavia (6) Solo Efforts st 18 Coldly polite (5) 1 Cherry Kwok 307 20 Month of the Muslim 2nd Nicholas Sim 286 year (7) 3rd Ayojedi 113 22 American reindeer (7) 4th Greg Poyser 87 23 Airbourne drops (5) 5th King Lam Kwan 31 24 Mournful poem (5) 6th Sunny Amrat 30 25 Clad (7) 7th Jan Xu 17 8th David Fengchu Down Zhang 14 th 1 Look after (4-3) 9 Grace Chin 13.5 th 2 Twilled fabric (5) 10 Sach Patel 13 3 Oval shape (7) 11th Harry Secrett 10 4 Athens (anag) (6) 12th Joshua Wan 8 5 Breadth (5) 13th QiaoqiaoFu 6 6 Give in (7) 14th Jeremy Ong 3 7 Spending trip (5) 15th Megha Agrawal 2 13 Daydream (7) 15 All together (2,5) 16 Vexed (7) Groups 17 In the vicinity (6) 1st CP Fanclub 145 18 Hidden store (5) 2nd Pufuletzi 118 19 Influencers (5) 3rd Gap Yahhhh 58.5 Across 21 Pub game (5) 4th The Gravitons 15 8 Gem (5) th 1 Entreat (7) 9 Motorcycle addition (7) 5 Parmesan 9.5 5 Stinging insects (5) 10 Building topper (7) Points Available 24 Crossword 4 Chess 9 Big Sudoku 4 Slitherlink 3 Nonogram 4 White to move in all problems. Send in your solutions to Checkmate in four for top, [email protected] and in two for bottom and before midday Wednesday! middle. th th PAGE 28 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 29

HANGMAN [email protected] HANGMAN [email protected] Corrections, Clarifications and Comments Corner "You ask, we listen!" NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS Imperial Tribes

This comment appeared under our news piece, "Imperial A Cappella group wins world championships", last week. Here at FELIX, we care about what you think of us, so below we've made a special cut-out-and- keep commemorative A Cappella edition of that coveted FELIX front cover. This one's for you, Anonymous.

ISSUE 1633 FRIDAY 6th MAY 2016

Rifle and Pistol Club

Th e Student Newspaper of Imperial College London here’s nothing wrong with guns, chaps. Guns CAMERON TO OUTSOURCE CORRUPTION Other stupid exam This story is really don’t kill people, people BORIS JOHNSON'S 'PASTY FOR BREXIT' story I guess poor kill people! And there’s TO SHELL COMPANY IN PANAMA nothing I love more than people, COMES OUT AS PRO-EU PAGE 4 NEWS PAGE 7 COMMENT exceptT people with guns. Hey, look, it’s not like it sounds, I’m not some kind of NRA fanatic! I love that Michael Moore, movie, what was it called, shooting children dead at Columbine? I can't TAURUS CANCER GEMINI VIRGO ACAPELA WON THE remember now. ARIES HOROSCOPES Guns are important to man (and LEO woman – yes, we have had female members for well over a decade THING now!) and there’s nothing wrong with hunting animals, shooting bits of paper shaped like humans or just learning how to defend oneself in this insecure place we call Sadiq This week you're KatieThis week, while trying to This week you’re an animal- This week, you’re the people This week, you’re the lecturer This week you named Khan’s London! Hopkins and you threatened test your drugs for toxic loving, privileged as fuck, who continuously write who collects the centrefolds "RRS Boaty McBoatface" I just don’t see the problem people to run naked down Regents substances and generally life scientist who thinks about sex in FELIX. Yeah, every week and has them all RRS David Attenborough. have with recreational firearm use. Street with a sausage up have a safe night out, you that poor people should be we get it, you’re getting laid. stuck up in the inside of a Democracy is dead. The If I’m of sound mind, and I don’t your bum if Sadiq Khan accidentally create a new allowed to starve to death Congratulations! Now shut cupboard somewhere obscure fall of civilisation has come refer to it as my shooty shooty bam became London Mayor. form of ecstasy from Daz, to prevent overpopulation. up about it. in the Huxley building that and precisely in the manner bam stick (you know the rules, He did though, so you rat poison and bits of old Congratulations, you’re you call your “happy place”. Orwell predicted it. Hugo!) what’s wrong with me and followed through, in scenes Ketamine you found on the David Attenborough! the lads (and ladies!) from the club reminiscent of an IC Rugby old furniture from Reynolds. selling our members rounds of initiation. You tell the world it’s safer AQUARIUS SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES ammunition via the union website, than horseriding and areSCORPIO • A cappela won their LIBRA you know? kicked out of Imperial. We live in a free country, where competition licensed gun ownership is allowed. No lunatics here shooting up schools. It’s actually an insult to the guns for you to bring up mass • Well done a Capella shootings, so, you know, apology accepted. Jeremy Corbyn can rip This week, you don’t like This week, unsure which way This week you are Zac This week you are the This week, you decide to This week you're gliding this gun from my cold dead hands something in FELIX, so you to vote in the EU referendum, Goldsmith. After losing the president of the Rifle and make a group Tinder account society. You literally have • YASSSSS acepellala (if he even knows how to properly grab all the copies you can you decide to race crabs to London mayoral election, Pistol club. Incensed by as a club. You don't realise planes. Do you really need handle it, ha ha ha!) and even then find and hide them in a back decide your allegiance. After you can now relax in the mockery in this week's that you're required by your own planes? Can't you I would have a smaller air pistol office. Unfortunately for you, the crabs refuse to race and Richmond Park, watch some Hangman, you try and storm union by-law to make your borrow someone else's? That in my boot to frighten the living the truth cannot be stopped, begin to make tender crab of your favourite Bollywood the FELIX office. Your swipe history available on seems kinda ridiculous and daylights out of him! and a window left open love you realise that this is a films and finally work out tiny bullets fail to do much eActivities, which makes for excessive when some of us allows all the copies to fly out sign. The system is fucked, so how to use the Central line. damage, and you have to an awkward first round of out here are just trying to get onto the festival below. Yes, you spoil your ballot. retreat, defeated. budgeting. a grant for a social or three. CUT OUT AND KEEP there was a paedo. But who needs socials when you have planes. th th PAGE 30 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 PAGE 31

CLUBS & SOCS [email protected] CLUBS & SOCS [email protected] The lowdown on the Techtonics win ICSM Music Society Concert A Cappella catch us up on their victory in New York ne of my favourite Summer term, each ensemble only by Jazz Band, which included things about playing had an allocated two rehearsals for truly incredible solos from Auriol Will O’Reilly bits of our 4-song set. the French horn is the concert but had clearly worked Harford and Joseph Derry. Choir Writer In February and March, the that you get called hard to produce the standard of then took the stage for a song from competition rounds began. We in to play in concerts at the last music the night saw. the musical Oh Kay! and a beautiful he Techtonics, Imperial passed our way through the quarter- Ominute pretty often. At Imperial The night started with four pieces spiritual Ezekiel Saw De Wheel. The College Union’s all- finals, and earned our place in the the concerts usually tend to end up first half then finished with four male a cappella group, semi-finals in London. It came as being actually really good and so pieces from the Bands, one of which have made international it’s always quite exciting to get the Imperial has was written by Music societies own history by becoming the first British opportunity to play with groups Ben Lau, called ‘Shine On’ and groupT to win the International The whole here. Last week I got to play in students certainly went a long way to proving Championship of Collegiate A the ICSM Music Society Concert that Imperial has students that are Cappella. and it basically lived up to all my phenomenal at way more than just The International Championship audience hopes for a concert and massively that are their degrees! of Collegiate A Cappella, or ICCA surpassed my expectations for a The second half started with two for short, is a massive competition night that the only details I’d really songs from Chamber choir, one was of some 340 entrants, spread across was been given beforehand were ‘turn phenomenal a piece by Olga Gjielo inspired by the north of America, split into 8 up for rehearsal at 4.30, St Stephen’s the aurora borealis and performed regions, with one more final region Church’. at way just as beautifully. The other was a in the UK. Only 10 groups progress whooping The ICSM Music Society jolly English madigral that picked to the final on Broadway in New Concert is a really special event that the mood in the room right up York, and last weekend, representing has all five of the ensembles under more than ready for Choir to return to the Some of the Dinner Club volunteers. Photo Credit: ICSM Music Society Imperial and the whole of the UK, and the ICSM Music umbrella (Choir, stage to sing Aerosmith’s ‘I don’t we were one of those teams. Chamber Choir, Orchestra, Jazz want to miss a thing’, arranged by a Rimsky Korsakov ‘Fantasy on concert, performing the Triumphal The journey for us started back Band and Bands) come together just their Dominic Lagrue as a thank you for Serbian Themes’ and a James Bond March from Aidia. in March 2015, when the then- screaming to perform under the same roof. the effort and joy the group showed Medley which were met with I had an incredible time and I current, and future MDs, Alex With exams and deadlines a degrees in choir all year. enthusiastic audience response. really would urge you to check out Moore and Ehsaan Shivarani, a complete surprise when we beat Look at these cuties and their giant trophy Photo Credit: Joe Martinez serious looming threat through any After a brief pause to get orchestra Orchestra was then joined by the the ICSM Music society, I’ve yet to started trying out arrangements, off all other UK groups, and got the set up, the Orchestra performed choir for a brilliant ending to the be disappointed by a concert. discussing what songs to pick for chance to compete on Broadway. member’s glandular fever a week Manhattan from the motel, we Madeon intro jumping to Queen’s next year’s competition. In short, Getting there would be no easy before the competition (wrecking barely made the theatre in time for Bicycle Race, then Sam Smith’s Lay each team has 12 minutes to present feat – with an August Edinburgh his singing voice), and flew out on the intro brief before soundchecks. Me Down, and finally to The Beatles their wares, doing whatever they fringe show already paid for, we Friday evening, landing shortly With our speedy 20 minute I Saw Her Standing There only THE want. Soon, a set of all British songs would have to raise another £6k to before midnight in JFK airport. soundcheck done, we spent the rest existing because I had practiced it had emerged, and we were ready get flights to New York. Not only The first night, in “something of of the day absorbing what we could hundreds of times and knew each to rehearse them. Roshani Abbey, that, but the finals would occur right a murder motel” was surprisingly of the beautiful New York scenery, chord progression like the back of a fellow a cappella and musical in the middle of exams for most pleasant, managing to bag a including a warm up in nearby my hand. I remember snippets of theatre enthusiast, joined our crew of our members. Regardless, the free breakfast the next morning. Central Park, before heading back a quick debrief in our green room shortly after starting rehearsals for group persisted, even through one With a troublesome journey into to the theatre. Disaster struck when following our breathless exit from UNION 3 of our members, bass, beatbox and the stage, with some well-wishes a soloist, got stuck in the elevator to the other groups occurring on their way to the green rooms somewhere in between. one hour before we were to open I won’t bore you with the details AWARDS the show. Seconds after the call was of the other sets from the US made that The Techtonics should be groups, suffice to say they were moved to a later slot, the trapped slick and impressive, all of them. singers emerged, and suddenly it when we returned to the stage for was all go. 15 minutes later, we were the announcement, we were met ready in the wings, about to sing our with cheering, applause, and general hearts out for the last time. elation that defied belief. The huge I’ll be honest, trying to describe trophy, and with it, the international the experience of the performance championship of collegiate a succinctly completely evade me. cappella, was ours. Opening the last round of a Since then, it has been a whirlwind huge competition to a sell-out, of activity. We were invited to go 2800-strong, a cappella-frenzied on the radio the next morning, audience was one of the experiences and have had endless tweets, some I will count as the best in my life. from producers and actors (Skylar Nominations now open! To put things in perspective, the Astin, ‘Jessie’ from Pitch Perfect!), Help someone get the recognition they deserve for their contribution to the Union. Beacon Theatre is larger than every and trying to get the trophy back single theatre in London. And the home on the flight was a nightmare. whole audience was whooping and Hopefully it will be on display Nominations are open Friday 13 May till Friday 27 May. screaming like only an American somewhere in college soon. We’re crowd can. proud that for the first time in the The next 4 songs went by in a competition’s history, we’ve brought imperialcollegeunion.org/unionawards Capturing the moment of Ehsaan’s incredible solo Photo Credit: Joe Martinez blur, with my recollection of the the win back to the UK. th PAGE 32 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 13 MAY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

CLUBS & SOCS [email protected] Imperial College Chess Congress John Sargent States, which is a great testament full point behind on 3.5/5 with Ray Writer to IC Union’s strong reputation for Morris-Hill leading the pack but providing an excellent environment unable to catch. Finally, in the Open to play in. section, Terry Chapman fought an he UK has historically The leading contender in the Open amazingly spirited game in the final been a chess friendly section was FIDE Master Terry round to defeat Valentin Gaudeau place and with one of Chapman of England, although with the black pieces, and ensure the stops of the million- competition was fierce as eleven he clawed back the deficit to early dollar-plus Grand Chess Tour now players rated within 200 ELO leader Alistair Hill. This guaranteed onT our doorstep each December at points of each other were bunched both of them a share of 1st after Olympia’s London Chess Classic, up at the top. In the Major (rated Alistair’s final round draw against the profile of chess is becoming under 2000) section Ray Morris- Steven Jones. stronger in recent times. Hill, who won the section at the Pictured is an exciting game from Imperial College boasts a proud previous event, again led the field the congress we can reproduce history of playing host to chess and Imperial College alumni (and for you here, played between events throughout the 80’s and 90’s, ex-chess club president) Nikunj looking out towards the Queen’s Sinha headed the list of entrants in Tower from where the current JCR the Minor section. Pictured is and SCR sit. Due to the organisers Due to how tight the competition leaving Imperial and difficulties was in all sections, it perhaps wasn’t with finding room, however, this surprising to see the emergence of an exciting then fell by the wayside. someone slightly further down the This was revived in 2011 when entry list as an early contender. the chess club and alumni joined Alistair Hill took a clear half-point game 1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 d6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 a6 6.Bg5 e6 7.f4 Be7 8.Qf3 h6 forces with Imperial College Union lead after Saturday’s games with 9.Bh4 Nbd7 10.0–0–0 g5 [Black lashes out on the kingside but this leaves his to host the first congress in over a FM Terry Chapman on his heels. King rather stranded in the centre.] decade in the shadow of the Royal Scotland’s CM Paul Roberts, also from the 11.fxg5 Ne5 12.Qe2 Albert Hall. The increase in interest one of the highest rated players in [White could also have sacrificed his Queen at this point with the entertaining the tournament, fell a full point 12.gxf6! Nxf3 13.fxe7 Qb6 14.Nxf3 and White has 3 pieces and a very strong behind at this point and had a congress attack in return for the Queen.] As a big uphill battle on the Sunday to 12...Nfg4 13.Kb1 hxg5 14.Bg3 Bd7 15.Nf3 Qb6 16.Nxe5 Nxe5 17.Bxe5 dxe5 achieve the top positions. 18.Qf3 Rc8 19.Be2 Ba3 20.Nb5! The Major showed some more we can testament of the usual suspects who perform consistently well throughout the year in London’s local leagues reproduce to the (Imperial College Chess Club participates in these, so if you are a player yourself and fancy some for you competition competitive games, do get in touch with us). Charles McAleenan faced nd off against Ray Morris-Hill in what Jacques Tivillier and Chino 2 place could have decided the sole lead Nwachukwu. Annotations are heading into Sunday but fought out provided by International Master to a draw, allowing Oliver Finnegan and professional chess coach and had seven to take the overall lead by half a commentator Thomas Rendle. point courtesy of his win over Peter We look forward to hosting the Wood. congress again when time allows, people In the Minor, Imperial alumnus and are already planning the Nikunj started round three on next one. If you’re interested in second board, half a point behind participating or you play chess and sharing the two leaders who actually would like to check out the club, we represented two thirds of the non- welcome you with open arms and English players in the section! Italian are always looking for new players! for events in London coupled with Domenico Amabile successfully We meet every week on campus the fantastic location cemented won with black against Cledwyn (location next year TBC) and you 20…Bb4? [The decisive mistake] the congress as a fixture in player’s Davies of Wales to set himself up can get in touch by e-mailing chess@ [necessary was 20...Bxb5 21.Bxb5+ Qxb5 22.Qxa3 with an evenly balanced calendars – and 2016 marks the with a sole half-point lead that he imperial.ac.uk. game] fifth time the congress has been put would not relinquish, allowing him Many thanks to Appy Deshpande 21.Rxd7! Rh7 [the rook cannot be taken 21...Kxd7 22.Qxf7+ Be7 23.Rd1+ and on since then! to win the Minor outright. & Bob Yung from IC Chess who Black must lose his Queen or be mated after 23...Kc6 24.Qxe6+ Kc5 25.Qc4#] Just under 100 players were Oliver Finnegan showed class to kept things well oiled with the 22.Qd3 Rc6 23.Rd1 axb5 [This leads to mate but Black’s position was already gathered throughout the last power through the Major and win organising team all weekend, as hopeless] weekend of April in the Union with only a single draw and four well as James Lindsay & Darya 24.Rd8+! Ke7 25.Qd7+ Kf6 26.Rf1+ Kg6 27.Rg8+ Kh6 [or 27...Rg7 28.Qxf7+! Kh6 Dining Hall for three days of play. wins, putting him in clear first place. Shirobokova of ICU without whom 29.Qxg7#] Some flew in for the event from As a testament to the competition, the event couldn’t exist at our 28.Rf6# [A fitting finish to a fine attacking display from White.] abroad including from the United 2nd place had seven people sharing, a wonderful venue. 1–0