1 Father’s Day 2021 Pastor James Foley – Shared Sunday, June 20, 2021
INTRODUCTION
Happy Father’s Day! It is my honor to share with you this morning. I want to offer a message that has broad application for everyone in the sound of my voice, though it is primarily directed to those who are fathers (e.g., biologically, adoptively, spiritually and/or in the foster system). May the Lord give us ears to hear what He is speaking in this hour!
SETTING THE STAGE PT. 1
NOTE 1 – David is a central figure in the pages of Scripture. It would be impossible for me—as a pastor and teacher— to exaggerate his impact upon biblical history. If you are a student of Scripture in any way, it will not take long for you to come across the record of his life and sense his place among the “greats” of the Bible…
Q. How many in the sound of my voice have heard of David before?
NOTE 2 – Allow me to note that David enjoyed great success in a number of areas in life… a) Success in Battle & Military Exploits (e.g., David v. Goliath – 1 Sam. 17) b) Success in Kingship (Unified the Kingdom and Established Jerusalem – 2 Sam. 5–6) c) Success in Biblical Contribution (75 of the 150 Psalms Are Attributed to David – Psalm 23) d) Success in His Relationship with God (“A Man After God’s Own Heart” – 1 Sam 13:14; Acts 13:22) e) Success in the Unfolding Plan and Purpose of God (2 Sam. 7 – Everlasting Dynasty in Christ)
We could go on with this listing and it would be time well spent! Yet, the following point is equally true…
KEY – David enjoyed little success in the raising of godly children…
SETTING THE STAGE PT. 2
On this Father’s Day we do well to consider the “whole testimony of Scripture” regarding the life of King David (i.e., the good, the bad and the ugly)! You see, the Bible presents its characters in their “fullness” that we might learn from them, underscoring the principle espoused by Paul in the following passage…
2 Timothy 3:16–17 (NIV, Emphasis Mine) 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
FYI – This morning we are going to take a long, painful look at the relationship between David and several of his sons, gleaning what we may learn as fathers, parents, and followers of Christ Jesus. As we delve in, let us take some time to establish the following historical foundation. Please take note of the following…
2 THE CHILDREN OF DAVID PT. 1
Scripture records that David had four child-producing wives and an unknown number of concubines. From his marital unions, the Bible names nineteen sons and one daughter, Tamar. If we count the son who died in infancy after having been conceived through David’s adultery with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 12:16–23), David had at least twenty-one children by his wives and an unknown number by his concubines (1 Chron. 3:9). Of these many children, emphasis is placed upon only a small selection of sons—three of which we will address at this time…
1) Amnon
Amnon was the firstborn son of David. He is revealed in Scripture to be a man of low character and driven by lustful desires. He became obsessed with his half-sister Tamar and lured her into his room on false pretenses to rape her. He was murdered in revenge by Tamar’s full-brother, Absalom (2 Sam. 13).
2) Absalom
Third in line, Absalom was one of David’s most notorious sons. Scripture reveals that Absalom was handsome (2 Sam. 14:25): “In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him.” However, he was also hot- tempered and power-hungry. He plotted out the murder of his half-brother Amnon to avenge the rape of his sister (2 Sam. 13), and then he plotted to steal the throne of his father, David. He drew a following in Jerusalem, forcing David to flee from the city (2 Sam 15). To help complete his coup, Absalom had sex with his father’s concubines in public view (i.e., he who controlled the royal harem controlled the nation). In time, he was killed by the commander of David’s army, Joab (2 Sam. 18).
3) Adonijah
David’s fourth son, Adonijah was known to be handsome yet undisciplined (1 Kings 1:6b). He is known for his failed attempt to become King of Israel after the death of David (1 Kings 1:9). He was eventually executed by his half-brother Solomon, the rightful king, for continued insurrection and attempts to usurp the throne (1 Kings 2:13–25).
THE CHILDREN OF DAVID PT. 2
KEY – We see something tragic in the lives of these sons of David. Namely, they were sons given to shameful misdeeds, including but not limited to a) sexual immorality; b) the devising of cunning plots and evil schemes; c) the manipulation of innocent parties unto tragic ends; d) the utilization of violence and murder; and e) usurping that which rightly belongs to another [ELABORATE]. These are serious crimes against God and humanity!
Q. What accounts for their treacherous and heinous acts?
A. Of course, I posit that they bore personal responsibility and culpability for their actions before God. They were free moral agents who chose to depart from the ways of the Lord unto evil ends, so they certainly had themselves to blame! However, the Bible strongly indicates that their sins were the manifestations and expansions of those sins present in the life of David himself. Thus… 3 POLLUTION
#1 – It would seem that they were negatively influenced by the POLLUTED example of their father, David.
NOTE 1 – It is amazing that David’s generals and fellow-warriors emulated his skill and prowess (insofar as the Bible details the “mighty men” of David cf. 2 Sam. 23) while his sons emulated his failings. It would seem that children do not copy professional capacity but character. It is as if these sons, Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah, produced the spoiled fruit of seeds planted in the life of their father!
NOTE 2 – When you study the record of King David’s greatest moral failure (i.e., the incident with Bathsheba cf. 2 Sam. 11–12), you see the sins of the sons therein. Let us take some time to consider the parallels present within the biblical record…
1) Sexual Immorality
The lust and immorality present in the life of Amnon find their root in the lust and immorality of David…
2 Samuel 11:2–5 2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.(Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.”
2) Plotting and Cunning Schemes
The plotting, cunning schemes of Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah find their roots in the example of David…
2 Samuel 11:6–13 6 So David sent this word to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master’s servants and did not go down to his house.
10 David was told, “Uriah did not go home.” So he asked Uriah, “Haven’t you just come from a military campaign? Why didn’t you go home?”
11 Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”
12 Then David said to him, “Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David’s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home.
4 3) Manipulation of the Innocent and Murder
The manipulation of the innocent unto tragic ends and the use of murder by David’s sons started with him…
2 Samuel 11:14–17 14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, “Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.”
16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David’s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.
4) Usurpation
Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah all sought to usurp that which belonged to another. This was present in David…
2 Samuel 12:1–9 1 The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.”
KEY – It is clear that Scripture connects the misdeeds of David and those of his children as we continue on…
2 Samuel 12:7–12 10 “Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. 11 This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”
5 PASSIVITY
#2 – It would also seem that the sons of David were negatively influenced by the PASSIVITY of David.
NOTE – It should be noted that David offered a weak response to the waywardness of all three sons…
1) Amnon
In the case of Amnon and the rape of Tamar, David should have taken direct and immediate action as both king and father. Upon hearing the news of the rape of his daughter, the Bible notes the fury of David (2 Sam. 13:21), yet little else! No concrete steps were taken to correct the situation. No penalty was enforced upon Amnon. David held no trial as the ruling authority, which was a gross miscarriage of justice. In fact, it was the passivity of David that led Absalom to step in and avenge his sister by killing Amnon. 2 Sam. 13 records that two years passed between the rape of Tamar by Amnon and his murder at the hands of Absalom—two years in which David did nothing.
2) Absalom
In the case of Absalom and the murder of Amnon, David should have taken direct and immediate action as both king and father. Upon hearing the news of the slaughter of his son and prince of the kingdom, David mourns the loss but little else. Does he confront his son, Absalom? Does he hold a trial? Does he make Absalom pay some form of restitution to the mother of Amnon for the loss of her son? Once again, the Bible records the taking of no action by David! The same is true in response for the coup his son led.
3) Adonijah
In the case of Adonijah seeking to usurp the throne of Solomon, David was dead and could therefore take no living action. However, the Bible does record the following insight concerning the relationship between David and Adonijah…
1 Kings 1:6a (Emphasis Mine) 6 His father had never rebuked him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?”
KEY – Clearly David’s sons were impacted by his polluted example and his passivity as a father…
PREOCCUPATION
#3 – Lastly, were they also negatively impacted by his PREOCCUPATION with other responsibilities?
NOTE 1 – The life and exploits of David occupy a sizeable amount of biblical real estate (e.g., 1–2 Sam., 1 Kings, 1 Chron., the Book of Psalms, etc.). Herein we can read about David the Shepherd, David the Warrior, David the Man of Faith and Courage, David the Leader and Motivator of Men, David the King, David the National Unifier, David the Poet, David the Worshipper, David the Object of Divine Favor, David the Temple Preparer, and so much more…
However…
6 NOTE 2 – I cannot point you to a place in the Bible that presents David as David the “Father.” In other words, I can direct you to no place that shows David being a positive force in the lives of his sons and daughter! Of course, I hesitate to talk about what the Bible does not say (i.e., argument from silence), but this deafening silence does leave us to wonder…
Q. Was David so dedicated to his varying roles that he set little time aside for his own family?
A. Of course, I am not saying that David was wrong in his many undertakings and exploits (e.g., David the ___). Rather, I am saying that David likely did not place enough priority on what should have been a central mission and purpose: his own family!
KEY – In the end, David remains a seminal figure in the pages of Scripture. I can neither overstate the impact of the man nor diminish the truth that, overall, the Bible paints him as a heroic figure of the faith. I have no doubt that we will see him in glory and that we will reside in the everlasting kingdom he was used to establish. Yet, I can only wonder about the pain David may feel knowing his own sons are likely not going to be part of that kingdom!
APPLICATIONS PT. 1
You may well be wondering, “Pastor, why are you highlighting the failings of David on Father’s Day? This sermon is a bit of a downer!” My answer, again, is that I believe in the principle espoused by Paul in 2 Timothy 3:16–17…
2 Timothy 3:16–17 (Emphasis Mine) 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Also, because I believe in the wisdom of my deceased father, Ken Foley…
QUOTE – “A smart man learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.”
APPLICATIONS PT. 2
The life of David serves as a cautionary tale for us to prayerfully consider. Though there are numerous aspects of his life that we should aspire to and/or emulate, we should learn not to mimic his parenting style or example. Accordingly, I would say…
1) Be Wary of Spiritual Pollution
Do you want your children to copy the example you are setting for them? Are you comfortable with what you are showing them in the course of life and living? What impact are you making the “wet cement” of their tender hearts? Consider that the sin(s) you entertain today may produce a spoiled harvest many years hence. This was true for David—don’t let it be true for you!
7 2) Be Wary of Parental Passivity
We must strike a delicate balance in parenting. Scripture forbids us (i.e., fathers in particular) from being too harsh on our children and setting forth unattainable standards (Eph. 6:4): “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” However, we must not become passive or apathetic in their discipline. If you love your children, you must be willing to correct, challenge and rebuke to the same degree you console, comfort and calm them. The last thing this world needs is another generation of passive parents who tolerate every behavior from their kids…
Proverbs 13:24 24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
3) Be Wary of Personal Preoccupation
This is the busiest generation in world history, but perhaps the least productive. This is a season wherein we must find healthful balance in our work and home lives (i.e., erring on the side of the home life)! I am going to put forth a hard truth for us to consider: i.e., we need parents who are willing to be less successful in their careers in order to be more successful in the home. You can and should wear many hats—just do not do so at the expense of your children! Consider…
ILL. – A young man was to be sentenced to the penitentiary. The judge had known him from childhood, for he was well acquainted with his father—a famous legal scholar and the author of an exhaustive study entitled, “The Law of Trusts. “Do you remember your father?” asked the magistrate. “I remember him well, your honor,” came the reply. Then trying to probe the offender’s conscience, the judge said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”
There was a pause. Then the judge received an answer he had not expected. “I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying “Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.”
The magistrate muttered to himself, “Alas! Finished the book but lost the boy!”
KEY – I would call you to…
1) Cultivate a Godly Example 2) Discipline Your Children in the Lord 3) Prioritize Your Children in Life and Living
8 CONCLUSION
Thank you for joining us today. Those who wish to give online may do so at www.NewLifeBarre.org. Those who wish to give in person can utilize the offering boxes located throughout the church facility. Men, please take one of the Father’s Day “gifts” with you as you exit. I close this service with the following blessing…
Numbers 6:24–26 24 “‘“The Lord bless you and keep you; 25 the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; 26 the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”’