Jack Benny Program 1950 Apr-May.Pdf
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4r:aei.e o i. o x .ia RTH01 0313433 PROORAM #30 REVISED SCRIPT A MERICAN TORACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE TRE JACK HENNY PROGRAM SUNDAY APRIL 2 1950 0§S 4•00 - 4=10 Pb1 PST PALM SPRINGS . CALIFOANIA R1iX 0 1 03 13 4 3 4 TI N JACK BFNNY PROGRAM SUNDAY, APRIL 2, 1950 OPENING COf+W E RCIAL SHARHUi'T: THR JACK BENNY PROGRAM -- presented by LUCKY SI'RIKB : RIGGS : (CHANT -- 6o to 62 -- SOLD Ah1ERICAN) HI@,SAND: Scientific tests nrov° Lucky Strike is milder than any other principal brand of cigamttes! SHARBU7Tt Scientific tests Qr_ove, Iucky Strike is milder than any other principal brand of cigarettes! HIESTANDt That fact is verified by an independent consulting laboratory with more than fifteen years' experience in cigarette research . The report from the consulting laboratory stated -- VOICE: Based on our analytical findings, it i.s our opinion that Lucky Strike cigarettes are the mildest of the six major brands tested! SHARBUPT : And no wonder Lucky Strike cigarettes have been ,~roved milder! For years Lucky Strike has conducted a unique and vast program in research . .in quality controls . .and manufacturing methods . And, today, tcenorrow, always -- NIF,STAND : LS - MFT LS - MFP SHARBUPT : Lucky Strike means fine tobacco . ., fine, light, naturally mild tobacco with smoothness and mildness and never a rough puff! ( CONPINULID) JG . 0 1S;01 0313 4 3 5 Tf(F JACK Rffiv2JY PROGRMI SUNIYfY, APRIL 2, 1950 OPENING COthME~,RCIA:CONT'D HTPSPAND: So light up a Lucky . Prove to yourself what scientific tests prove - Lucky Strike is milder tihan any..other princi,pnl brand pf . c~arette_s . SgqRpiPPT : I .et your axn taste and throat by the judge . For snoothness_ and mildness -- thorots never a ron_~h ~raff in a Lucky Strike : JG FlTH01 0313436 -I- (FIRST ROUTINE) (AFTER COMMERCIAL, MUSIC UP AND DOWN) . DON: FROM PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA, THE LUCKY STRIKE PROGRAM, STARRING JACK BENNY, .WITH B?ARY LIVINGSTONE, PHIL HARRIS, ROCHESTER : DENNIS DAY, AND "YOURS TRULY" DON WILSON . (APPLAUSE . .HUSIC UP AND DOWN) DON : YES, HERE WE ARE SPENDING OUR SECOND WEEK IN PALM SPRINGS„ 60 LET'S GO OUT AND VISIT THE PLACE WHERE JACK DENNY IS STAYING„ THE CANTANTA DECASA LA QUINTA DE CASTILLE CANYADA . AT THE MOMENT, OUR LITTLE STAR IS DRINKING IN ' THE RAYS OF THE MORNING SUN „WHILE ROCHESTER IS RUBBING HIM WITH OIL . (SOUND : PAT PAT PAT AND CONTINUE) JACK: Whet a wonderful day for a sun bath, eh, Rochester? ROCH: IT SURE IS . (SOUND: PATTING STOPS) ROCH : TURN OVER , BOSS , I WANNA GET SOPR7 OIL ON YOUR BACK, B/<nl . JACK: (GRUNTS), Be!careful you don't get any on my trunks . Ahh, this is the life . (SOUND: PATTING STARTS) . JACK: (COY) Oh, Rochester-- ROCH : WAAT IS IT, BOSS? JACK: Er . .oh, nothing . (SOUND : PAT PAT PAT . .PAT PAT PAT . .PAT PAT PAT) JACK : Rochester-- RCC3 : YFS? HT}{01 0 ,3 1 3 4.3 ;' . JACK: Oh, never mind . (SOUNDt PATTING STOPS) ROCHe COME ON , BOSS , WHAT IS IT4 JACK : I ' m reailv p,ytu, ain ' t I? ROCH : IF YOU SAY S0, SIR . {•80liNBt-KT"N&-MM)- ' . dAG.ICar.meuvsel+!~'+$1fld.:Irxl~d*nnnfl 4n A .Adl:d..§~SCc~.~,Q.4P.1 :(SOIR3Do .-P.AS.TSAIG-STOPS ) .3A614evw+-•r.+=•Roehes4erK whaL+did ..you•stop .rubbing me for? ROBRY`v-""TMZ"'NO'"FiORE`OIL , ' BOSS .' JA®iGw+»+.~.A.Ss.~eC.aiB~rre-•had? . i+~RBGHw~--~-v~.'W7G.Y70UYDN E/f<6iAY&+'NAB+.+:fP}f,A_4M,lv'iHNi .rZF::WE:..DIPNST.,FRY : BACAN "'FOR'^SALpdP.11`AST:"' JACKt Well , I guess I'm greased up enough, .•I think I'll j ust lie out here on the sun deck . ROCHt BOSS-- JACKe You know, it isntt every place where you can step out of your room and get right up on the sun deck• ROCH : BOSS-- JACK : Yes? ROCHf THIS THING YOU'RE LYING ON IS A PING PONG TABLE . JACK : It isn't a sun deck? ROCH : NO . WHY DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE THAT NET ACROSS THE MIDDLE? JACK : I thouglit the other side was for women . 4*vrca#*-I1ve been peeking through the holes for nothing .) Oh look, Rochester, here comes Miss Livingstone . M h01 0313438 -3- ROCH : OH YES . .HELLO, MISS LIVINGSTONE, MARY : Hello, Rochester . H'ya, Jack, JACK : Hello, Mary, I'm glad you dropped over . MARY : (SARCASTIC) So this is the Cantanta de Casa la Qninta de Castille Canyada . JACK : Mary, you don't have to sey it like that . This is a very nice place . .,You know, I'm paying three dollars a day for my room? MARY : (AMA2ED) THREE LiOLhARS ; ' JACK: Well, Mary, I felt the same way, but then this is the height of the season . .Anyway it's worth it . You know this place overlooks the beautiful Palm Springs Biltmore . MARY : Well Jack, you're very smart . JACK : Thank you. MARYr That's better than paying Biltmore prices and overlooki9k- the dump you're living in : What do you mean dump? Come . JACKon in-awd I'lll show you my room . (SODND : SCUFFLE OF JACK GETTINO OFF TABLE) !'- . e,.. - - R .,..< .,. , 1~..-~''. JACKe senw-m-#n : (SOUND: DOOR OPENS & CLOSES) MARY : Jack, I can't see a thing, it's so dark in here . JACK : Well . .they finally fixed that hole in the roof . Rochester, get a match and light the lamp . ROCH : YES SIR . (SOUND : MATCH SCRATCH) RT'n'C11 03 13,13 9 -4- . JACKe That's better . You sees Mary~ this room is nice and large and-- .. -f~. .,.,........X - MARYe Wait a minuteicwhat's. this lawn mower, wheel barrow, rake and garden hose doing in the corner? JACK : Well . .you see , Mary , the rate on this room is really Sour dollars . .but they don't have a tool shed . .and they said they would make an adjustment if I let them keep their garden tools In here . MARY : Well, at least they keep you well supplied with towels . ROCH : THIS IS THE LAUNDRY ROOM T00! MAd!$t~"°'~"'*w^Wh'db~Jtli'db(+^''~'fmfgi'tte'>heRMTlg'8'+40Om^'sO^CYOSe^1ri°'the•m .tlXohen :,. JAOIET MAR~[r-~-~•3Gc;er.~•*73ven~~stinee~3~got-fiere}Iave-beenrome2iing~bacon : +--~ JRC#F:`~mws+ve'S}T'{"tti8t:'!"N95T2 y 'M4'f9 i`C'F'i~C'~dBD'4'PC"t"Z§SM~'°i'1 dG""""the :•kibet :eit.v-, _.(LAUGHI6GLYJ ~.:YO u,~se e .!~:5:>.r an>.asL-wf•wun~kan~e i4~{-som&*had . _.>Roohes ter.,r.ub ,baaon-graaaw~an-7me i- • MARYr•--.~:"•° .•!9d13`j""yelT=tiff1+'Y@'11}Ty'sf1YeT1'"'gtY'6i2iJ"'Y'm`*ge'ttiil6"11WngrY . J...BDLfi :~,:-.:::::,:.,YFiSTk+RDA.X..}tFe..~1dQLF4Rh..HATI..XR~!:<T..RI?4'3INi ;3~t9L1St~ .~L9.,2LIT.. ~.il~'s.~.,; .~D""i.'fTCL~'PORK CHOPS! ."RMN`LF "JAOK : +^~ •~"~1-RochestbP==' °ROCF!9"•"^,>"^•"fRYDdY~'FYE'Wdffi'h`S'SLR . - - . JACK : Rochester . .nobody asked you to-- (SOUND : KNOCK ON DOOR) JACK: COME IN . (SOUND : DOOR OPENS) filh07 0313440 -5- . I just MISL: Oh, . pardon me, I flidn't know you had company Awanna get the lawn mower . JACK : ~d.It's right there '_n the corner, Ed. MEL : Thank you . (SOUND: MOVEtS;NT OF 6!ETAL TOOLS . .LAWN MOWER ROTATING, .DOOR SLAM) ROCHt ONE, TWO , THREE, FOUR, FIVE . ONEt TWO, THREE-- . NARY+ Rochester , what're you doing? ROOH : I COUNT MY TOES EVERY TIME HE LSAVES, MARY : Well, I don't blame you,,,Jackt of all the places in Palm Springs, you had to get stuck with-- JACK : Mary, forget it, I didn't get stuck with anything . This is a very nice-- . (SOUNDf KNOCK ON DOOR) MSL : (OFF) HEY, MR . BENNY, THERE'S A TELEPHONE CALL FOR YOU . JACK : (UP) OKAY . .Excuse me : Maryt I'1] be back in a minute . The phone is just down the hall . (SOUND : DOOR OYENS . .FOOTSTEYS DOWN SINGS) HALL AS JACK JACK : (HUMS TO "MUSIC, 6".USIC : MUSIC") DA DA DA DA DA DE DA . .In the nickleodeon . .Al1 I want is SovingJvou and money . .Da da da da da de dah--Oh , here'smoney, money, the phone . (SDUNDt RECEIVF.A UP) JACKt Hello? JENNY : Is this Jack Benny? JACK: Yes . ll 1 h 01 0313441 -6- JENNY : One moment please, we have a person to person oall from Los Angoles, . .GO ahead T- ""s°'^° . PHIL : Hiya, Jackson . JACK : Phi1 . .Ph17. .I thought you were In Palm Springs „What are you doing in Los Angeles? PHIL : uu d,I e+ In Palm Springs , but I had to hurry back home when I found out I forgot something . JACK: Oh . .what did you forgot? PHIL: Alice . ' JACK: Alice! Phil, how in the world could you forget her? s,...H- PHIL : Well , the day we were s upposed to drive^to the Springs , I was a little careless . .I wasn't watching . JACK: What do you mean? . PHIL : Well , I was sitting In the car ae& after she put the p .a0 luggage inf I thought she got In too, JACKO -Hm. .Tell me , Phil, when did you first realize you had forgotten Alice? PHIL: Well, as soon as I got to Palm Springs, I went in to the Hacquet Club, had dinner, and when the waiter handed ~ieg the check, I m w she was missing . Oh . JACKt . - PHIL : And Jackson,^when I got'home : she was~furious . JACK : What did she do? PHIL : She was so made at me, she put Rudy Val.loe's picture back on the piano . JACK : I don't blame her . PHIL : The one with the megaphone, yetl RTtSr)9 0 g93 4 42 -~- JACK: Wel7l lookt Phi1 . .I hope you'll be back in time for l~,.