The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century Esther D. Rothblum
Sixty-four sexual minority women (22 femme, 21 butch, and 21 who identified as both or neither) were asked open-ended questions about butch and femme. The sample ranged from those who considered butch/femme to be core aspects of their identity to those who found the terms meaningless or outdated. Many women mentioned appearance and/or masculinity/femininity when describing butch and femme. Women were equally divided about whether butch/femme was important to them, and also whether or not it was related to sexual activity. Few women divided housework or childcare according to butch/femme roles. Participants often stated that bisexual women were likely to be femme, yet few bisexual women in this sample identified as either butch or femme. Concepts of butch (or ‘stud’) and femme were perceived as more common in the African American and Latina communities and less so in Native American communities.
Keywords: butch; femme; lesbian identity; bisexual identity; queer identity.
Consider the following quotes: ESBIANS AND BISEXUAL WOMEN have Butch – a woman who takes on (and used the terms ‘butch’ and ‘femme’ for usually improves) any or all of the aspects L over 100 years (Gibson & Meem, 2002), of a traditional heterosexual male’s role, but the meanings of these terms are vague. especially in relation to her partner. For Because lesbians were considered to be instance, a butch can be butch because masculine in appearance, gender role behav- she wears men’s jeans and drinks cheap iour, and choice of (female) partners, the beer and loves basketball, or because she word ‘butch’ referred to the ways in which opens doors for her lady, kills spiders for lesbians were ‘mannish’ (Gibson & Meem, her lady, or refuses to let her lady drive. p.3). Femme lesbians were feminine in (Bristol, white lesbian, 20s) appearance and gender role behaviour, but subverted or destabilised concepts of gender I love gender fluidity in general, and the in their lesbian identity and choice of female fluidity between butch, boy, FTM, and partners (Haller, 2009). femme in one or between two people is With the advent of the second-wave femi- just really fun to watch. I love the mystery nist movement in the 1970s, however, of a gender presentation that’s really androgyny became the norm for lesbians hard to pin down. (Loulan, 1990). Lesbians who didn’t appear (Brendon, white genderqueer, 20s) androgynous were termed ‘politically incor- rect’. In particular, ‘old culture’ lesbians who I resist the binary completely… who still identified as butch or femme roles were came up with these categories? criticised (Loulan, 1990, p.41). (Butch, African American transman, 40s) The 1980s and 1990s reflected greater diversity in the lesbian communities, as lesbians became more visible and lesbian communities became more multicultural. The lesbian ‘baby boom’ resulted in preg-
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 29 © The British Psychological Society 2010 Esther D. Rothblum nant lesbians and lesbians rearing children. femme on a single item, and asked them to Postmodernism and queer theory ques- rate the attractiveness of lesbians in personal tioned gender roles and gender identity. advertisements. An exception to such mono- Butch/femme terms were reclaimed, but lithic conceptions of butch/femme is with a difference (see Faderman, 1992). Now research by Levitt and Horne (2002), who women could change gender roles and asked women to self-identify as butch, femme, appearance from one day to the next, or androgynous, or other; these variables were even dress in gender-blending ways. A butch then examined in light of sexual orientation, no longer was limited to finding a femme feminism, outness, and discrimination. lover. And some women now identified as There is no question that many contem- transgender instead of butch. porary sexual minority women use the terms There has been considerable interest in butch and femme as forms of self-identity contemporary understandings of butch/ and vehicles for understanding and femme in the humanities, with books such as describing women in their communities. Persistent Desire: A Femme/Butch Reader (Nestle, The current project focused on the 1992), Female Masculinity (Halberstam, 1998) complexity of these terms and what they and Tomboys: A Literary and Cultural History mean to sexual minority women in contem- (Abate, 2008). The book Stud: Dispelling the porary US communities. Does butch/femme Myths (Kamau, 2008) focuses on images and refer to physical appearance, so that women poetry about female masculinity in the can be identified as butch or femme via African American communities. Popular photographs or visual media? How does books such as The Femme’s Guide to the Universe butch/femme relate to concepts of (Rednour, 2000) and Butch is a Noun masculinity/femininity? What role does (Bergman, 2010), among many others, are being butch or femme play in sexual activity? aimed at young queer women. Is there a relationship between butch/ Recent years have seen emphasis on the femme and division of housework and child- role that socio-economic class and race/ care? Are these concepts different for ethnicity played in butch/femme identities, women of different age cohorts, ethnic/ particularly in working-class settings and racial identities, or sexual orientations? among African American and Latina communities (Lapovsky Kennedy & Davis, Method 1993). Increasingly, scholars have described Announcements of the project were placed butch/femme identities in historical or on internet listservs, and asked women to contemporary contexts across a number of distribute the announcement to other list- cultures in Africa, Asia, Europe and the servs of which they were a part. Announce- Americas (for overviews, see Blackwood & ments emphasised that this study was Wieringa, 1999; Morgan & Wieringa, 2006; looking for lesbian and bisexual women in Murray & Roscoe, 2001). specific age cohorts (20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and In contrast, there has been relatively little over 50), in rural and urban settings across psychological research about butch/femme the US, across income levels, and from roles, and this research has assumed a one- diverse ethnic and racial groups, and that dimensional understanding of the terms I would conduct telephone interviews with butch and femme. For example, Singh et al. interested participants. Announcements also (1999) asked lesbians to self-identify as butch explained that this project focused on their or femme on a single item, and then understanding of butch/femme, and that compared butches and femmes on such vari- I was also interested in women who do not ables as waist-to-hip ratio, testosterone levels, find the terms butch or femme to be useful and desire to have children. Bailey et al. or representative. I interviewed 34 women (1997) asked lesbians to identify as butch or over the telephone and four (local women)
30 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century in person. I had planned to conduct 40 inter- women who did not identify clearly as butch views, but the announcement appeared on a or femme, eight identified as lesbian, eight number of internet sites and, as women as bisexual, two as queer, one as transgender, contacted me near the end of the project, one as two-spirit, and one as other. I asked them to reply to my interview ques- Data were collected using a qualitative tions via e-mail – 26 women did so. Thus the research methodology. All interviews were entire sample consisted of 64 women, which audiotaped and transcribed, tapes were sent is quite large for a qualitative study. Not back to participants for them to keep, and surprisingly, women who e-mailed responses transcribed interviews were e-mailed to tended to be younger (32 years on average) participants for their comments. Only a few than those who I interviewed in person women had comments (usually providing (48 years). more detail, or asking me to change identi- The participants came from 20 US states fying information), and these changes were and two provinces of Canada. They ranged incorporated into the transcripts. Emails in age from 19 to 64, with one woman under were edited in order to delete real names age 20, 15 in their 20s, 14 in their 30s, 14 in and addresses. Everyone was asked to their 40s, 11 in their 50s, and nine in their provide a pseudonym. 60s. About one-third of participants (20 out The study focused on the following ques- of 64) were women of colour (African tions: American, Asian American, Latina, Middle ● Describe what the terms ‘butch’ and Eastern American, Native American, and ‘femme’ mean to you. What are some biracial or biethnic). characteristics of a butch and a femme The sample was about equally divided woman? How important or valuable are into those who identified as butch, those these terms to you? who identified as femme, and those who did ● How are conceptions of butch/femme not identify clearly as butch or femme. Of similar to or difference from conceptions the 22 women who identified as femme, 15 of masculine/feminine? of them identified as lesbian, one as dyke, ● How do you think your lesbian/bisexual one as bisexual, one as queer/bisexual, and communities view butch and femme? Is four as queer. Of the 21 women who identi- there a difference between lesbian and fied as butch or equivalent (two used the bisexual women in how butch or femme term ‘stud,’ which is more common in the they are or supposed to be? African American communities and one ● How do you think mainstream used the term ‘boi’), 11 identified as lesbian, heterosexual society views lesbians or one as dyke, two as gay, one as bisexual, two bisexual women that are butch or as queer, one as transgender, one as two- femme? How are butches versus femmes spirit (a term often used in Native American accepted by families of origin, in the communities), and two did not identify with workplace, as mothers? Are hate crimes any of these terms. The remaining 21 women directed at women based on masculine did not identify clearly as butch or femme; of appearance or attributes? these women, 11 said they were neither ● How would you describe yourself in butch nor femme, three said ‘other,’ one ‘in butch/femme terms? Has your self- between butch and femme,’ one ‘medium- identity about being butch/femme to-femme,’ two androgynous, two both butch changed over time? In what ways? Are and femme, and one was a former butch who there situations where you feel more now identified as a transman (this partici- butch or femme? What are they? pant came out as trans a few weeks before ● Do you currently have a lover? Describe the interview and is the only one in the your lover in butch/femme terms. How is sample to use the pronoun ‘he’). Of the this similar to or different from previous
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 31 Esther D. Rothblum
lovers? Are you attracted to women based ‘For me, a butch/femme is a person who on certain physical or personality has an identity but it goes deep down characteristics? If so, how are these inside; it’s not just what it appears on the related to someone being butch or outside… I think it’s the whole femme? How is being butch or femme connection on a spiritual level. Even related to sexual activity? though physically you might be male or ● Describe which household tasks you and female, I think souls are also your lover do, and who does which tasks. male/female or masculine/feminine.’ (If children) who gave birth to each (Angel, Latina Mestiza lesbian, 40s) child? Describe which childcare tasks you Bluestocking (white lesbian, 50s) felt that and your lover do, and who does which women were born butch or femme: tasks. ‘I honestly believe that in as much people are born gay, I believe we’re also born butch or Results femme. And so one is the yin and one is the The results were interpreted using thematic yang and there are so many degrees of femi- analysis, and aimed to provide a descriptive nine and butch. I’m quite feminine and I account of participants’ experiences about always have been and I like butches who are butch and femme. As Braun and Clarke masculine but I think that they need to (2006) have described, thematic analysis is support one another and love one another used to search for themes or patterns within and step up to the plate and create a life.’ an entire data set, and can be used within Fiona (white queer femme, late teens) viewed most theoretical frameworks. The questions butch and femme as ‘distinct genders’. Jackie (listed above) were chosen to form predeter- (white lesbian, 40s) stated: ‘I was butch long mined themes but also to allow for the emer- before I was a lesbian. It seems even more gence of new categories and subcategories core to my being than my sexual orientation.’ from the participants’ interviews. Direct Jeanne (white lesbian, 40s) defined butch and quotes are used as examples below, followed femme as ‘lesbian gender.’ Simone (African by the participant’s pseudonym, race/ American lesbian, 40s) said she uses ‘these ethnicity, sexual orientation, and age decade. terms to identify different types of lesbians, like a race.’ Quinn (white lesbian, 30s) wrote: What is butch/femme in the 21st century? ‘Butches are a gender, femmes are a gender, Participants had a large and diverse under- andron are a gender, sporty dykes, artsy dykes, standing of the concepts of butch and hippie chicks, etc., all allow for the range of femme, resulting in the following themes: human expression and the finding of like- (1) identity; (2) appearance and clothing; minded friends.’ (3) masculinity/femininity; (4) lovers/ As these examples demonstrate, when sexual activity; and (5) division of housework women are describing butch/femme as and childcare. Additionally, the concepts of more core than sexual orientation, or equiv- butch and femme were not meaningful to alent to race in categorical importance, this some women, and women varied widely in highlights the centrality of butch/femme in how important these concepts were to them. their lives. Women who conceptualised Finally, the last section describes butch/ butch/femme as an identity usually viewed femme across sexual identity, age, and these concepts as central to all aspects of race/ethnicity. their lives.
Identity Appearance and clothing Fifteen women (23 per cent) described The majority of respondents (36, or 78 per butch/femme in terms of identity, often as a cent) mentioned appearance or clothing very core part of themselves: when defining who was butch or femme.
32 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century
Lizette (Latina lesbian, 30s) said ‘Well, in other cultures, they also are not easily butches and femmes can be characterised by identifiable to each other. Because there is external qualities. The way they look… no protective coloration of the group, this Certain mannerisms.’ Charlie (Latina can inhibit identification with their minority lesbian, 40s) defined butch/femme as group members. In the complex web of follows: ‘…basically butch denotes to me in when and how homosexuals decide to terms of women someone who is much more disclose their homosexuality, some may masculine, someone who tends to carry choose to do so by dressing in a stereotypical herself in a different way and femme would manner.’ Thus it is not surprising that denote someone who is a lot more feminine women who identify as butch or femme take and who wears more dresses whereas a butch on the appearance, posture, clothing, and might be more comfortable in what would other attributes of these identities, in order be considered men’s clothing, maybe t-shirts to be recognisable as butch or femme in or button-down scale.’ Charlie herself identi- their communities. fies as androgynous, which she defines as: On the other hand, some women empha- ‘What it means is that I feel comfortable sised that appearance is not related to being going in between the two. On days off or on butch or femme. As Doreen (white queer my time off, like right now I’m wearing woman, 20s) explained, ‘So someone can sweatpants, t-shirt, and sweatshirt. But when look butch or femme to me, but they’re not I dress up for work or for special occasions ‘really’ butch or femme unless they self-iden- I often wear skirts, dresses or suits… I’m tify that way.’ Kimberly (white lesbian, 40s) comfortable moving within those two types said ‘I think you can look butch and feel of manners of dressing.’ femme or look femme and feel butch.’ And Mandy (white lesbian, 20s) also described Rose (white queer/bisexual woman, 20s) butch/femme appearance: ‘Butch lesbians stated: ‘In my opinion, appearance does not define their gender in masculine terms and dictate behaviour.’ demonstrate masculine qualities of appear- ance. Butches, to me are ‘manly’ women. Gender roles and relationship to masculinity/ A butch woman will often dress in menswear, femininity even so far as wearing mens’ underclothes About one-third of participants defined and ‘packing’ [wearing a prosthetic penis]. butch/femme in terms of gender roles. To me, a butch lesbian is not to be confused Jennie (white lesbian, 40s) described this as with someone who wears androgynous follows: ‘And my knowledge of actual butch clothing or appears androgynous. Butches and femme couples is that the femme is are not androgynous, they are butch, which extrovert, the organiser, more interested in means they look like men. Femmes are keeping up with friends and literally has the lesbians who identify as very feminine. more feminine qualities in terms of girl- Femme lesbians are very comfortable friends. And the butch, regardless of how embracing their femininity while also being butch they may be, are typically a little less lesbians. Femmes often dress in a similar social or interested in being social, doesn’t fashion as heterosexual women. Sometimes mean they’re anti-social, but just not as butch and femme individuals display quali- much so, less verbal, stereotypical male sort ties of appearance of butch/femme very of situation.’ Women mentioned many visibly and sometimes it is more subtle.’ examples of gender roles, from toy prefer- Lukes and Land (1990) have emphasised ences and activities in early childhood to the importance of appearance when sexual current interests, hobbies, jobs, and person- minorities want to be noticeable to others. ality characteristics. They state (p.159): ‘However, because sexual When asked specifically whether minorities are not easily identifiable to those butch/femme is related to masculinity or
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 33 Esther D. Rothblum femininity, respondents were about equally femme lovers. Twelve women (19 per cent) divided on whether or not this was the case. were not currently in a relationship. Three In fact, Dex (white and Latina lesbian, 30s) women were currently married to men, preferred the terms ‘masculine/feminine’ another woman was currently dating men, instead of butch/femme because they carry and two women had lovers who were trans- less stigma and seem clearer to her than gender. Three women were in polyamorous butch and femme. relationships; as Elizabeth (white queer Ronya (Middle Eastern American gay woman, 20s) wrote: ‘I currently have three woman, 20s) considered butch/femme lovers – two of whom are on the continuum of important terms because she had a trans- butch, and one who is more femme.’ gender lover and so people assume she is Twenty women (31 per cent) felt that heterosexual. She said ‘And so I find that butch/femme was related to sexual activity, often I’m kind of forced to come out over such as who initiated sex, who was a top or and over and over again… and that is even in bottom, who used a strap-on dildo, etc. the gay community where I almost have to Twenty-three women (36 per cent) stated prove that I’m gay enough to be included.’ that butch/femme was not related to sexual The terms ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’ activity. Although these percentages are themselves are complex, as Lee (white fairly similar, the latter group had a lot more bisexual woman, 60s) clarified: ‘I experience to say about sexual activity. Kate (white queer myself as fairly androgynous – somewhere in woman, 20s) stated: ‘I would say that one the middle of the scale in terms of gender place that our butch/femme dynamics don’t identity. But that doesn’t mean I remotely totally extend is the bedroom.’ Katherine am interested in being a male person – I just (white bisexual woman, 30s) said: ‘Neither don’t experience myself as particularly femi- term connotes anything sexual to me.’ nine in most of the usual ways that that term Susannah (white lesbian, 20s) described this is used.’ Margaret (white, woman-identified- issue as follows: ‘There are many stereotypes butch, 30s) stated emphatically: ‘Butch is not about how being butch or femme relates to about masculine anything. Butch is about sexual activity, but I think they’re ridiculous, being in a woman’s body and expressing a sexist and damaging. Butches and femmes femaleness that is not attracted to men, is can both be tops, bottoms, switches or some- not mimicking men, in fact a being that is thing else entirely, can both enjoy pene- sort of the anti-male. Butch is a woman trating a partner and being penetrated, etc., loving being. Men are basically women and none of those things make a person hating or at least women loathing.’ And Tav more or less butch or femme. Butches and (white woman, 60s) wrote: ‘‘Masculine’ and femmes have sex together in every possible ‘feminine’ are traits defined by our culture, configuration, and also in butch/butch and or society, as being most closely associated femme/femme pairings, and with people of with the society’s widely accepted genders, every other sex and gender. The more the ‘man’ and ‘woman’. ‘Butch’ and ‘femme’ merrier, I say.’ are actually genders.’ An unexpected theme was that women felt more feminine when with butch women Lovers and sexual activity compared to sexual relationships with men. Generally speaking, women who identified as As Casey (white lesbian, 30s) explained: ‘Oh, femme had butch lovers and vice versa. Of the there is definitely a difference. I feel much 17 women who were currently in a relation- more like a woman with a butch woman. ship and who identified as femme, 15 (88 per I think with men I never really knew what my cent) had butch lovers, and of the 17 women role was, I was never really comfortable with who were currently in a relationship and who that. It was always more a matter of identified as butch, 13 (76 per cent) had appearing the way you are supposed to
34 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century appear… I think that butch women are Opposites attract actually much more characteristic of what we Some women defined butch and femme in think men are, than men actually are. They terms of opposites, yin and yang, positive are those things that we say men are, they’re and negative ions. For example, Charlie controlled, they’re not as emotional.’ Simi- (Latina lesbian, 40s) described the relation- larly, Leyla (Middle Eastern American ship as: ‘…maybe like a symbiotic relation- woman, 30s) said, ‘I find myself more femi- ship where both are getting what they want nine with women… But I’m not sure but with different approaches. I think the whether it’s more the attempt to make sure butch really likes to feel needed like to feel you know that your rights and your position important and that she’s pleasing her femme in the relationship are more securely identi- and the femme does like to be pleased and fied.’ And Max (white lesbian, 40s) said: so it works out in the end.’ Ergun (African ‘I just was having a conversation with American and Native American transgender someone a couple of weeks ago who said that stud, 30s) stated: ‘I feel that we are naturally when she was with a man, she got much chemically attracted to each other. On some butcher because she didn’t want to be seen mysterious level, we fit like a glove. True in that really feminine way. Whereas with there are numerous femme/femme relation- women, she feels more free to play with the ships that last for years. But, there is an invis- feminine pretty side of things. And that ible dynamic that exists between butches and made sense to me.’ femmes! There is a mystique!’ Rachel (white lesbian, 50s) said: ‘To me the most funda- Energy and vibes mental definition is something about erotic Some women maintained that they could energy. I think that’s the most meaningful always tell whether women were butch or and useful way for me to describe it. It’s femme due to ‘energy’ or ‘vibes’ that other something about the complementarity of women emitted. According to these respon- sexual energies. Even when people are fairly dents, it was impossible to hide butch/ close together on the spectrum, there is femme identity, or, perhaps, ignore one’s some way that this small difference between own sexual response to their presence. them becomes a complementarity in the ‘I’ve always said I can I.D. a butch naked, interaction and that is an erotic dynamic in and have done so in hot tubs. I’ll tell ya the most people’s relationships.’ gal who will get out and put on ‘men’s’ Bristol (white lesbian, 20s) was intrigued clothes. How do I know? By the way she takes that, in her experience, femmes were often up space and holds her body. How she defined in relationship to butches: ‘Femme- sits/stands. Her energetic expression’ (Bella, a woman who takes on any or all aspects of a white bisexual woman, 30s). Max (white traditional heterosexual female’s role, lesbian, 40s) referred to butch/femme as almost exclusively in relation to her partner. ‘some kind of energetic way of relating’. Women who simply ‘act like women’ are not Brendon (white, genderqueer, 30s) defined usually considered femme, because the butch as: ‘Butch is beautiful. It’s brash and incarnation of ‘woman’ is considered inher- brawny, or beguiling and sensitive. It’s more ently feminine. Being femme usually refers of an energy – either you are or you aren’t. to your relationship to your female partner Or you are under some circumstances. It’s or partners. I find it interesting that (in my something that you notice about someone experience) butches can be butches in and even if they’re in the most feminine of attire, of themselves, but femmes are usually only or something that you see from across a considered femmes when attached to a crowded room.’ Sarah (white lesbian, 60s) butch (as in: ‘Oh, a femme and her butch’) said ‘I know who’s butch by what my or another femme lesbian (as in: ‘Wait! Two response is to them.’ femmes dating each other?’).’
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 35 Esther D. Rothblum
Relationship to division of housework and uncommon. Less common today, in fact childcare considerably less common today but in my Nearly everyone agreed that butch and mom’s time butches were quite unemploy- femme identities had little to do with divi- able so it was almost always the femmes who sion of household tasks among women in worked.’ same-sex couples. Few women had children, Green and Mitchell (2002) have but those that did similarly divided childcare described how heterosexual couples are the across both butch and femme roles. Simi- real butches and femmes, given that even larly, the majority of women did not relate today, there is strong division of housework the terms butch and femme to power and and childcare along gender lines in hetero- control. sexual relationships. In that regard, butch Lance (white dyke, 20s) described house- and femme women are models of equality. work as follows: ‘There is no specific division For example, Liz (Native American and of labour (except she does roaches, and I do white gay woman, 40s) explained that she pilot lights) – we prefer to do chores was in a long-distance relationship and was together, but that’s not often practical time- looking forward to her lover moving back wise.’ Mandy (white lesbian, 20s) described soon. Liz stated ‘I’m retired military, kind of equal division of housework due to her femi- disabled vet, so I don’t work, I’d be the stay- nism: ‘My current lover would very easily let at-home butch, I’d be taking care of the me take over all the cleaning and cooking house and all that.’ It is hard to imagine a and she is very good at home repair and heterosexual man, retired from the military, would like to do all home repair/mainte- looking forward to housework in the same nance tasks. Unfortunately, I am a feminist way. and insist that household chores should be shared. Although she would never say it, I do Butch and femme are not meaningful or not a believe that she enjoys it when I take over the good fit chores that are associated with women like Not everyone considered butch or femme to cooking and cleaning but I do not enjoy be good concepts for themselves or others. taking on the role of ‘the wife’.’ Some women struggled with these concepts A few women had a more traditional set- during the feminist movement of the 1960s up for housework, where femmes did more and 1970s, others identified with both or traditionally female tasks and butches the neither, or invented new terms. male ones. Julie (white queer femme, 40s) The era of the women’s movement was has a partner who is a transman. Her partner hard. Several women described their does the outdoor work and uses tools; Julie attempts to ‘pass’ as androgynous during the does the cooking. Bluestocking (white second wave of the feminist movement. For lesbian, 50s) thought back on her relation- example, Sycamore (Native American two- ships with women and said that she, a spirit woman, 50s) said ‘It was hard to find femme, had had quite traditional division of femmes back then, by the way. They all household tasks with previous butch lovers: looked the same [as butches].’ Margaret ‘Usually quite the traditional role. The cook, (white woman-identified butch, 50s) wrote: the one who takes care of the house, the one ‘You know, being butch in the heat of the who does the decorating, the one who – my women’s movement sucked because they all one lover had a young child and I cared for decided that sexual orientation was political the child. The traditional female role and and that being butch was somehow a patri- the butch did the outdoor work. In our case archical expression. Total bullshit – way too we had a ranch and took care of their horses intellectual to be real. What a story – fantasy. and the ranch and all that. Although I was Being butch in the androgynous 1990s the one who worked. And that’s not all that sucked – once again going against the grain
36 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century in a sub-population; the shaming for discovering the joys of not having to deal deviancy is mean and cruel. Now, it seems with long hair. I dress for comfort, but when that butch is a lost identity. There is so much I have to attend a black-tie affair I will pull pressure on young butch women to transi- out the heels and evening dress. I don’t tion - and they follow the crowd, call each really wear make-up much anymore, but that other he, boi, take T
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 37 Esther D. Rothblum binary’ (Annie, white bisexual woman, 60s). ‘Butch/femme identities have a major ‘These terms are very loaded for me. In a part in life because they dictate a lot of sense, when I hear them paired together, things that I judge on a person-by-person they remind me of a bygone era when basis and it is how a lot of women in my lesbians lurked in shadows of alleys looking community decide how to date whom they for sex’ (Paige, white queer woman, 20s). date’ (Aisha, Black and Puerto Rican lesbian, Other women avoided labels in general. 20s). ‘Vastly valuable. Especially femme. As Maureen (white lesbian, 30s) said, ‘I am Rather, they are equally important to me, but not big on labels and feel people are so butch is something I have always been aware complex and change with differing situa- of, whereas femme was like a secret the world tions that these labels are often useless to kept from me until my 20s, so it’s been more me.’ of a revelation with the accompanying excitement’ (Lance, white dyke, 20s). How important is butch/femme? Margaret (white woman-identified-butch, Participants also varied widely in how central 50s) wrote, ‘These terms are very valuable to or important these concepts were to them. me – without them I feel invisible.’ Sarah Whereas 27 (42 per cent) specifically (white lesbian, 60s) mourned the passing of mentioned that these terms were important these terms as follows: ‘I’ve heard really to them, eight women (12.5 per cent) said heartfelt sorrow among butch women of my the terms were not important, and the rest generation feeling like everybody’s leaving (about half the sample) were not clear about them and feeling really peculiar about that.’ this. Some indicated that their communities Women who did not perceive the terms expected women to identify as either butch butch or femme as meaningful or important or femme. Other women used these terms in often indicated that these terms were dating situations, or during sex, still others outdated, more common before the current said that being butch or femme did not feminist movement, or not true in their more predict sexual activity. rural setting. Lenn (African American Several women mentioned that butch lesbian, 50s) came out in the 1970s and said and femme were useful words in conversa- about her lover at the time ‘We did not tion with others: ‘Well, they’re damn conven- consider ourselves a butch/femme couple. ient. And I really think if we didn’t have Neither one of us claimed the identities them, we’d have to make them up because… because it was not PC [politically correct], the discourse about people’s experience of not feminist.’ Quinn (white lesbian, 30s) felt their gender identity and their gender repre- that ‘butch/femme identities are denigrated sentation is so – is such a paucity of language by ‘enlightened’ lesbians as a ‘shameful’ part that thank goodness we have this little of lesbian herstory.’ Rose (white queer/ smidgen of language and we certainly need bisexual woman, 20s) stated: ‘I think that a more’ (Lee, white bisexual woman, 60s). good portion of the lesbian/bi community Ziwa (white bisexual woman, 20s) stated: sees butch and femme as a relic. They were ‘Labels are important for me in this context roles that the queer women of the 1940s and the same way that they are for me as a 1950s hid behind to avoid persecution and teacher. They help me find resources and pass as straight couples. However, many find friends who are similar to me. If I had queer women still believe that butches need not embraced the term of femme, I would to date femmes, and that butch-butch or have never found other femmes, and then femme-femme relationships are fundamen- later realised that there was such a term as tally flawed. Personally, I disagree with this. tomboy femme, and that I was not the only I also perceive a lot more pressure on lesbian one who fit that.’ women to choose either butch or femme as a label for themselves and their gender presen-
38 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century tation. In the old days, queer women whose respondents indicated that they didn’t know appearance was androgynous were labeled any bisexual women well (and, to some ‘kiki’ and shunned by the community. extent, bisexual women didn’t know any Bisexual women seem to have more freedom lesbians well). So lesbians may be basing to be fluid and undefined due to the often their perceptions on general appearance of fluid nature of their orientation, but we also bisexual women in the media, for example, face prejudice from some queer women who rather than on conversations with bisexual support a strict butch/femme duality.’ friends or lovers. Some felt that the concepts were too Queer-identified people, too, avoid cate- binary and that they themselves were on a gories as socially constructed, and are inclu- continuum, or in between, or that it sive of anyone who is not part of the depended on the situation or the identity of heterosexual mainstream (e.g. Namaste, their lover. Bella (white bisexual woman, 1994; Rupp, 1999). Yet, unlike women who 30s) countered this argument as follows: identified as bisexual in the present study, ‘I think that many lesbian who don’t identify respondents who identified as queer were as butch or femme just don’t get it. They more likely to identify as butch or femme. view it as from the old days, a stereotype, or Among women who identified as lesbian, a light-hearted fashion or sexual explo- dyke, or gay, 16 identified as femme, 14 as ration. Which is fine as long as there is not butch, and eight as both, other or neither. In judgment or exclusion. But unfortunately this regard, it is lesbians who are most likely there has been plenty of both.’ to identify with butch/femme concepts. When asked about how mainstream Demographics of butch/femme women heterosexual society views butch/femme, Based on sexual identity most respondents agreed that femmes are Among the 22 women who identified as more accepted; they are the ‘good lesbians’ femme, only one identified as bisexual and in terms of appropriate appearance and one as queer/bisexual. Among the 21 gender roles. Yet femmes may ‘pass’ as women who identified as butch, only one heterosexual, making them invisible unless identified as bisexual. The majority of accompanied by a butch. In contrast, bisexual women identified either as both butches are feared, viewed as a threat, seen butch and femme, or as neither, or as in as deviant, and ostracised. Nearly everyone between. This corresponds with prior felt that butches were targeted for hate research by Rust (1995) that bisexual women crimes. Annabelle (white lesbian, 50s) felt tend not to use categories or labels. that she was viewed as butch by heterosex- Interestingly, the perception among uals and femme by lesbians: ‘Where I put women in the current study was that bisexual myself and where people would put me is women are femme. Ten participants (16 per different. And it depends – I’m sure that I cent), most of them lesbians, specifically seem butch to my straight co-workers stated that bisexual women were more likely because I sit cross-legged during a meeting to identify as femme. As Angel (Latina and I wear the same clothes all week and I Mestiza lesbian, 40s) stated: ‘I don’t think I don’t wear make up – that sort of thing. know a bisexual butch.’ Similarly, Blue- Amongst lesbians who use that term, I think stocking (white lesbian, 50s) said: ‘I don’t they have identified me as femme.’ Belinda think I know any bisexual butches.’ Terry (Asian American bisexual woman, 50s) (white lesbian in her 50s) emphasised that ‘a emphasised how some heterosexual women bisexual woman for me is an honest femme. are more butch than lesbians; she went to When she’s with a woman, she definitely college in the Midwest and found the farm knows who she is.’ What could account for women to look ‘way more butch than a lot of this discrepancy? A number of lesbian the butches I knew.’
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 39 Esther D. Rothblum
Based on age not heterosexualising our relationships but Just as the whole sample was equally divided rather expressing something new and into those who identified as femme, butch or different that is true to who we are and both/neither/other, the same was true distinctively queer, rather than forcing who among younger women (in their late teens, we are into traditional straight boxes.’ 20s or 30s) or older women (in their 40s and above). Yet older participants felt that Based on race or ethnicity younger women were less likely to use the Participants tended to feel that butch/ concepts of butch and femme, especially if femme was more important in African they identified as queer. Nick (African American and Latina communities. Aisha American lesbian, 50s) said: ‘I think that role (black and Puerto Rican lesbian, 20s) playing is beginning to go away, only because referred to butches in the African American the new generation is more free, they don’t community as ‘stud/butch/ags.’’ She wrote: have to hide. It’s like everybody’s whatever. ‘Also, in my culture, especially in the black When I was growing up, the only way people gay community, there is a labeling that occurs would know that we were even interested or that if you do not fit into the masculine or even to be approached by another woman feminine roles you have to identify yourself as you had to carry yourself a certain way… But one or the other or in a category… which is a now it’s like the younger people I see, they ‘no-label’ but that in itself is a label.’ Paige don’t play roles. You might see two feminine (white queer woman, 20s) stated: ‘I notice looking women or two butch looking women cross-culturally [labels] hold more weight in together and it doesn’t matter. But I think the African American communities than in it’s a generational thing, the butch and white ones. My girlfriend, who is black, finds femme and I think it’s going away.’ her butch identity to be strong and an impen- And younger women tended to view etrable part of who she is, similar to ‘stone older women as influenced by more tradi- butch’.’ Megan (Latina and white lesbian, tional conceptions of gender roles. Here is 50s) described the pressure on young butch how Doreen (white queer woman, 20s) girls to take testosterone: ‘A lot of them call described butch/femme according to gener- themselves studs, boys, aggressives (more of ational variables: ‘How the greater lesbian/ an East Coast term), I see them struggling, bisexual ‘community’ in America views because their girlfriends are pressuring butch and femme varies by generation and them, their friends are pressuring them… if by individual communities. I think in many they’re young women of colour, there’s real places now, the butch/femme dynamic is mixed feelings going on particularly if they looked down on as a heterosexist crutch and are dark skinned and black, because black as outdated. The idea is that in the past, males are already not treated very well.’ queer women felt they had to conform to Belinda (Asian American bisexual woman, heterosexual gender stereotypes, that they 50s) wondered: ‘So part of my questions now had to be either butch or femme to fit into are, who decided? And why did we decide it the queer community, and that it was socially was pants-wearing
40 Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 The complexity of Butch and Femme among sexual minority women in the 21st century
American we don’t have that distinction of lesbian, and/or those who identified as ‘I’m sorry this group is only for these African American and Latina, were more people,’ it’s for all people who feel they connected with butch/femme concepts, and belong… I knew about
Psychology of Sexualities Review, Vol. 1, No. 1 41 Esther D. Rothblum
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