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YukonYukon BlondeBlonde / AlvvaysAlvvays TheThe DearsDears / F****dF****d UpUp TheThe PackPack A.D.A.D. / TomTom GreenGreen TheThe ElwinsElwins / TheThe BeachesBeaches WalterWalter OstanekOstanek & more!more! OKT.OKT. 2ND2ND & 3RD3RD • VANKLEEKVANKLEEK HILLHILL FAIRGROUNDSFAIRGROUNDS WITWITHH BBUSESUSEE S FFROMROM OTOTTAWA!TAWA! WORDS FROM THE review?”° Absolutely nothing.° But I got your attention didn’t I?°No? …. *sigh*Anyhow, it’s been quite a while since a review of a classic album has WIZARD taken place so, without further ado, let’s IT’S SEPTEMBER - THE WIZARDS ARE dive into the review of SLIP IT IN by BEGINNING TO PREPARE FOR THE YEARLY BLACK FLAG. This album was put out APPRENTICE INVITATIONAL - THINGS ARE not long after MY WAR in 1984, which STARTING TO GET INTERESTING. was their fi rst dive into territory that was a far cry from their earlier sound. While DAMAGED had some song structures LET’S CHECK OUT SOME OF THIS YEAR’S EVENTS! in it which were defi nitely not typical Perogi Wizard Will has challenged Perogi Wizard Sammy to another of hardcore punk (such as DAMAGED mushroom eating competition - this yearly tradition is always a highlight I which crawled along at an extremely that we all look forward to! slow pace, but was simultaneously noisy and destructive) but the album Elixir Wizard Ula has promised a demonstration of her new water to overall, while defi nitely a standout wine enchantment, if she pulls this off her place in the book of legends is album and one of the best of its kind, ensured. was still a hardcore punk album and a crowd pleaser. However, with MY WAR, Sound Wizard Ian will be communicating with animals using an the songs were longer, for the most experimental form of lunar hypnosis. part the hardcore song structures were abandoned, and a new, sludgy guitar sound was being pursued. On SLIP IT Elixir Wizard Marci will be performing the highly anticipated dance of the IN, these ideas are further expanded, Gryphon and Elixir wizard Stacey will be attempting the re-animation of with on average longer track lengths, the stone golem owl - no one has ever succeeded in this and we wish her and more experimentation. the best of luck. The album kicks off with the title track, Wizards Jeff & Lewis have begun preparations for their fi rst attempt at which is easily one of the catchiest songs scaling the shrouded mountain of the hood to recover the lost scrolls of in the BLACK FLAG canon. The next the oracle which will be translated by Elixir Wizard Jennilee & shared with two tracks follow suit, being intensely everyone at the yearly fi re of the Phoenix. catchy, featuring sludgy riffage, a good amount of Ginn’s trademark feedback Magic carpet rides will be (as always) curated by Elixir Wizard Joady with and atonal solos. In fact, the soloing on help from Perogi Wizards Jordan & Jay who have promised to maintain this album may well be the best of the a strong enchantment in order to avoid the disastrous outcome that was BLACK FLAG solos on any of BLACK FLAG’s records. experienced last year. Slip It In (1984) SST Records RAT’S EYES is the next track after these, Elixir Wizard Val has uncovered a collection of amulets which will be sold and takes the album down a much at the yearly bazaar grounds and the portal wizards have organized their ‘Ello folks, its September, and another darker path sonically, with an extremely yearly dragon joust which is sure to please all children in attendance. summer has come and gone. ‘Tis time slow and creepy main riff, and a chorus for all the wee little Targians and the that is laden with noise and feedback (a Wizards Johhnny, Donny & Josh will be performing their rendition of angsty, awkward teen Targians to get bit reminiscent of DAMAGED I). everyone’s favourite musical “A Goblin’s Tale” & Wizard Severine will be back to the grind. Ready to go back to getting’ up early, encountering persons After this, a quite unexpected turn for operating the cauldron - any of those who want to try their hand at potion fl ag, as an instrumental track is what magic must go through her. with nefarious intentions, and through a series of misadventures becoming follows this. It easily carries the general vibe of this album, which is a certain Special highlight - this year 4 wizard contestants will attempt to soothe the the chief of a cannibal tribe, although unbeknownst to them, as chief they understated darkness. This is not the giant lightning worm - my money’s on Bearded Wizard, keeper of the troll will ultimately be ritually sacrifi ced sound of darkness typical of such styles fl ute of mischief. to the gods Bert and Ernie. You may be asking yourself “but Felix, what CONTINUED ON PAGE 14 Hope to see everyone out and enjoying themselves!! - YOGI does any of this have to do with the SSKAKA JJEFF’SEFF’S HHI-FIVES:I-FIVES: TTOPOP MMTVTV CCARTOONSARTOONS IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE CARTOONS. A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE SERIES WERE PRODUCED BY MTV ANIMATION. SO HERE’S MY FAV’S THAT I USE TO STAY UP LATE TO WATCH IN THE 90’S.... HI YA SLO: I NEED YOUR HELP! I’M THE SINGER IN A PUNK BAND AND THE MOSHERS ARE ALWAYS SLAMMING THE MIC STAND INTO MY TEETH! NOW THEY’RE ALL CHIPPED AND MESSED UP. PLUS, I’M AFRAID OF DENTISTS. WHAT SHOULD I DO? MY MOM’S GONNA KILL ME! TOOTHACHE – Signed Toothache Hey Toothache: I don’t blame you for being afraid of dentists they are defi nitely a sketchy bunch. And expensive, too! But you (and your mom’s wallet!) are in luck. I can fi x your teeth no problem using nothing more than crazy glue, baking soda, binder twine and aspirin. Come by my shop at Spaceman Music (388 Gladstone) and I’ll take a look. Keep smiling! #5. BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD #4. AEON FLUX Everyone knows these Based around the leather- DEAR SLO’ TOM: I HEARD THAT STEPHEN HARPER WEARS A two socially incompetent, clad secret agent, Aeon TOUPEE! IS IT TRUE? – Wonderingly PrinceHairy rock-loving teen wannabe Flux in a bizarre, dystopian delinquents. (‘93-’97) future world. (‘91-’95) Dear PrinceHairy: Yeah, I’ve heard this rumour too, it’s been around for #1. THE MAXX years. Say what you will about ol’ Harper, but he’s no wigwearer. I have a One of my fav series reliable source inside the industry who has assured me it’s 100% the real of all time. Adapted thing carefully cut, combed & coiffed. Don’t forget to vote! from the comic book. Check this out HI SLO’: DUDE! IT’S ME... CHIPNUT! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET immediately if you IN TOUCH WITH YOU. I LEFT A BUNCH OF MESSAGES. ANYHOW, like dark animation I BOUGHT A GIANT BAG OF DORITOS THE OTHER DAY THAT and good writting. CLAIMED TO BE BOTH “EXTREME” AND “MEGA”. HOW CAN THEY BE BOTH? THINK ABOUT IT: IF THEY’RE SO “EXTREME” THEY (‘95) SHOULD COME IN A TINY PACKAGE, RIGHT? I MEAN, IF THEY ARE REALLY, TRULY EXTREME, YOU SHOULD ONLY NEED, LIKE... ONE CHIP! I HAVEN’T TRIED THEM YET I WANTED TO GET YOUR #3. THE HEAD #2. DARIA THOUGHTS BEFORE I OPEN THE BAG. I BET THEY’RE NOT VERY The story of Jim who lives A smart & cynical girl goes “EXTREME”. ANY ADVICE? – Signed your #1 fan, Chipnut with a little purple alien, through teenage life as a Roy, inside his head. proud outsider in a world Dear ChipNut: Here’s some advice: stop sending me questions! You’re (‘94-’96) of mainly idiotic teens & driving me crazy. And please stop calling my mom’s house. I haven’t condescending adults. lived there for like, 6 months, and she’s starting to get pissed off. (‘97-’02) IDENTIFY THE ROCKER BEFORE THEY WERE ROCK “ROYALTY”. HOW MANY DO YOU KNOW? THE LAST 7 ARE PERFORMING AT TARG IN THE NEAR FUTURE. ANSWERS AT www.houseoftarg.com/answers CANADA’S LONGEST RUNNING PINBALL EXPO THE OTTAWA PINBALL & GAMEROOM SHOW IS THE EVENT OF THE YEAR FOR WIZARDS AND FANS OF MEGA FUN. HERE’S THE SCOOP... WHEN: Sat Sept 19 12pm-10pm / Sun Sept 20 12pm-6pm WHERE: Makers Space North - 250 City Centre, Bay 215, Ottawa ADMISSION PER DAY: $10 for adults $5 for kids 12 & under WHAT GAMES: An eclectic collection of 100 pinball & vids PRESENTED BY: CKCU, Ashton Brewing Company, House of TARG, & Ottawapinball.com FREEPLAY PINBALL & CLASSIC PEROGIES ARCADE MACHINES The House of TARG Wizards Your admission includes unlimited will be slinging perogies and hot play of nearly 100 games ranging dogs all weekend long out of the from vintage electro-mechanical “TARG Express” mobile kitchen pinball machines to the latest Stern and tapping an assortment of offerings plus all your favourite Ashton Brewing Company’s fi nest Classic Arcade Video Games & brews. Proceeds of the tactical Oddities. TARG carbo-loading station will be used to help CKCU keep their BUY GAMES & PARTS DJ’s DJ-ing & their transmitters Purchase games, parts, or transmitting. gameroom treasures from the Playdium store and Pinball Customs, plus many great used games from local collectors in our vendor booth and fl ea market areas. PINBALL TOURNAMENT Compete in the IFPA sanctioned “O-Town Throw-Down 2015” tournament for IFPA points, cash and prizes, and the bragging rights of being the 2015 Ottawa Pinball Champion! (France) w/sg CHLOROFORM 80’S DANCE PARTY – The fi rst edition and SLUMLORD - House of TARG of our new monthly series featuring are incredibly pleased to present your favourite host & sweatmaster you, for the fi rst time in Ottawa on the wheels of steel – cookin’ up ever, French speed metal legends dogs,° singin’ along to his favourite A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING VULCAIN! Still going strong since hits and keepin you dancin’ all night the early 80’s, their brand of high long while challenging his audience PLACE AT HOUSE OF TARG THIS SEPTEMBER.