Targ-Sept-Web.Pdf

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OKT.OKT. 2ND2ND & 3RD3RD • VANKLEEKVANKLEEK HILLHILL FAIRGROUNDSFAIRGROUNDS

WITHWITH BUSESBUSEE S FROMFROM OTTAWA!OTTAWA! WORDS FROM THE review?”° Absolutely nothing.° But I got your attention didn’t I?°No? …. *sigh*Anyhow, it’s been quite a while since a review of a classic album has WIZARD taken place so, without further ado, let’s IT’S SEPTEMBER - THE WIZARDS ARE dive into the review of SLIP IT IN by BEGINNING TO PREPARE FOR THE YEARLY BLACK FLAG. This album was put out APPRENTICE INVITATIONAL - THINGS ARE not long after MY WAR in 1984, which STARTING TO GET INTERESTING. was their fi rst dive into territory that was a far cry from their earlier sound. While DAMAGED had some song structures LET’S CHECK OUT SOME OF THIS YEAR’S EVENTS! in it which were defi nitely not typical Perogi Wizard Will has challenged Perogi Wizard Sammy to another of hardcore punk (such as DAMAGED mushroom eating competition - this yearly tradition is always a highlight I which crawled along at an extremely that we all look forward to! slow pace, but was simultaneously noisy and destructive) but the album Elixir Wizard Ula has promised a demonstration of her new water to overall, while defi nitely a standout wine enchantment, if she pulls this off her place in the book of legends is album and one of the best of its kind, ensured. was still a hardcore punk album and a crowd pleaser. However, with MY WAR, Sound Wizard Ian will be communicating with animals using an the songs were longer, for the most experimental form of lunar hypnosis. part the hardcore song structures were abandoned, and a new, sludgy guitar sound was being pursued. On SLIP IT Elixir Wizard Marci will be performing the highly anticipated dance of the IN, these ideas are further expanded, Gryphon and Elixir wizard Stacey will be attempting the re-animation of with on average longer track lengths, the stone golem owl - no one has ever succeeded in this and we wish her and more experimentation. the best of luck. The album kicks off with the title track, Wizards Jeff & Lewis have begun preparations for their fi rst attempt at which is easily one of the catchiest songs scaling the shrouded mountain of the hood to recover the lost scrolls of in the BLACK FLAG canon. The next the oracle which will be translated by Elixir Wizard Jennilee & shared with two tracks follow suit, being intensely everyone at the yearly fi re of the Phoenix. catchy, featuring sludgy riffage, a good amount of Ginn’s trademark feedback Magic carpet rides will be (as always) curated by Elixir Wizard Joady with and atonal solos. In fact, the soloing on help from Perogi Wizards Jordan & Jay who have promised to maintain this album may well be the best of the a strong enchantment in order to avoid the disastrous outcome that was BLACK FLAG solos on any of BLACK FLAG’s records. experienced last year. Slip It In (1984) SST Records RAT’S EYES is the next track after these, Elixir Wizard Val has uncovered a collection of amulets which will be sold and takes the album down a much at the yearly bazaar grounds and the portal wizards have organized their ‘Ello folks, its September, and another darker path sonically, with an extremely yearly dragon joust which is sure to please all children in attendance. summer has come and gone. ‘Tis time slow and creepy main riff, and a chorus for all the wee little Targians and the that is laden with noise and feedback (a Wizards Johhnny, Donny & Josh will be performing their rendition of angsty, awkward teen Targians to get bit reminiscent of DAMAGED I). everyone’s favourite musical “A Goblin’s Tale” & Wizard Severine will be back to the grind. Ready to go back to getting’ up early, encountering persons After this, a quite unexpected turn for operating the cauldron - any of those who want to try their hand at potion fl ag, as an instrumental track is what magic must go through her. with nefarious intentions, and through a series of misadventures becoming follows this. It easily carries the general vibe of this album, which is a certain Special highlight - this year 4 wizard contestants will attempt to soothe the the chief of a cannibal tribe, although unbeknownst to them, as chief they understated darkness. This is not the giant lightning worm - my money’s on Bearded Wizard, keeper of the troll will ultimately be ritually sacrifi ced sound of darkness typical of such styles fl ute of mischief. to the gods Bert and Ernie. You may be asking yourself “but Felix, what CONTINUED ON PAGE 14 Hope to see everyone out and enjoying themselves!! - YOGI does any of this have to do with the SSKAKA JJEFF’SEFF’S HHI-FIVES:I-FIVES: TTOPOP MMTVTV CCARTOONSARTOONS IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I LOVE CARTOONS. A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE SERIES WERE PRODUCED BY MTV ANIMATION. SO HERE’S MY FAV’S THAT I USE TO STAY UP LATE TO WATCH IN THE 90’S....

HI YA SLO: I NEED YOUR HELP! I’M THE SINGER IN A PUNK BAND AND THE MOSHERS ARE ALWAYS SLAMMING THE MIC STAND INTO MY TEETH! NOW THEY’RE ALL CHIPPED AND MESSED UP. PLUS, I’M AFRAID OF DENTISTS. WHAT SHOULD I DO? MY MOM’S GONNA KILL ME! TOOTHACHE – Signed Toothache

Hey Toothache: I don’t blame you for being afraid of dentists they are defi nitely a sketchy bunch. And expensive, too! But you (and your mom’s wallet!) are in luck. I can fi x your teeth no problem using nothing more than crazy glue, baking soda, binder twine and aspirin. Come by my shop at Spaceman Music (388 Gladstone) and I’ll take a look. Keep smiling!

#5. BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD #4. AEON FLUX Everyone knows these Based around the leather- DEAR SLO’ TOM: I HEARD THAT STEPHEN HARPER WEARS A two socially incompetent, clad secret agent, Aeon TOUPEE! IS IT TRUE? – Wonderingly PrinceHairy rock-loving teen wannabe Flux in a bizarre, dystopian delinquents. (‘93-’97) future world. (‘91-’95) Dear PrinceHairy: Yeah, I’ve heard this rumour too, it’s been around for #1. THE MAXX years. Say what you will about ol’ Harper, but he’s no wigwearer. I have a One of my fav series reliable source inside the industry who has assured me it’s 100% the real of all time. Adapted thing carefully cut, combed & coiffed. Don’t forget to vote! from the comic book. Check this out HI SLO’: DUDE! IT’S ME... CHIPNUT! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET immediately if you IN TOUCH WITH YOU. I LEFT A BUNCH OF MESSAGES. ANYHOW, like dark animation I BOUGHT A GIANT BAG OF DORITOS THE OTHER DAY THAT and good writting. CLAIMED TO BE BOTH “EXTREME” AND “MEGA”. HOW CAN THEY BE BOTH? THINK ABOUT IT: IF THEY’RE SO “EXTREME” THEY (‘95) SHOULD COME IN A TINY PACKAGE, RIGHT? I MEAN, IF THEY ARE REALLY, TRULY EXTREME, YOU SHOULD ONLY NEED, LIKE... ONE CHIP! I HAVEN’T TRIED THEM YET I WANTED TO GET YOUR #3. THE HEAD #2. DARIA THOUGHTS BEFORE I OPEN THE BAG. I BET THEY’RE NOT VERY The story of Jim who lives A smart & cynical girl goes “EXTREME”. ANY ADVICE? – Signed your #1 fan, Chipnut with a little purple alien, through teenage life as a Roy, inside his head. proud outsider in a world Dear ChipNut: Here’s some advice: stop sending me questions! You’re (‘94-’96) of mainly idiotic teens & driving me crazy. And please stop calling my mom’s house. I haven’t condescending adults. lived there for like, 6 months, and she’s starting to get pissed off. (‘97-’02) IDENTIFY THE ROCKER BEFORE THEY WERE ROCK “ROYALTY”. HOW MANY DO YOU KNOW? THE LAST 7 ARE PERFORMING AT TARG IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

ANSWERS AT www.houseoftarg.com/answers CANADA’S LONGEST RUNNING PINBALL EXPO THE OTTAWA PINBALL & GAMEROOM SHOW IS THE EVENT OF THE YEAR FOR WIZARDS AND FANS OF MEGA FUN. HERE’S THE SCOOP... WHEN: Sat Sept 19 12pm-10pm / Sun Sept 20 12pm-6pm WHERE: Makers Space North - 250 City Centre, Bay 215, Ottawa ADMISSION PER DAY: $10 for adults $5 for kids 12 & under WHAT GAMES: An eclectic collection of 100 pinball & vids PRESENTED BY: CKCU, Ashton Brewing Company, House of TARG, & Ottawapinball.com

FREEPLAY PINBALL & CLASSIC PEROGIES ARCADE MACHINES The House of TARG Wizards Your admission includes unlimited will be slinging perogies and hot play of nearly 100 games ranging dogs all weekend long out of the from vintage electro-mechanical “TARG Express” mobile kitchen pinball machines to the latest Stern and tapping an assortment of offerings plus all your favourite Ashton Brewing Company’s fi nest Classic Arcade Video Games & brews. Proceeds of the tactical Oddities. TARG carbo-loading station will be used to help CKCU keep their BUY GAMES & PARTS DJ’s DJ-ing & their transmitters Purchase games, parts, or transmitting. gameroom treasures from the Playdium store and Pinball Customs, plus many great used games from local collectors in our vendor booth and fl ea market areas.

PINBALL TOURNAMENT Compete in the IFPA sanctioned “O-Town Throw-Down 2015” tournament for IFPA points, cash and prizes, and the bragging rights of being the 2015 Ottawa Pinball Champion! (France) w/sg CHLOROFORM 80’S DANCE PARTY – The fi rst edition and SLUMLORD - House of TARG of our new monthly series featuring are incredibly pleased to present your favourite host & sweatmaster you, for the fi rst time in Ottawa on the wheels of steel – cookin’ up ever, French speed metal legends dogs,° singin’ along to his favourite A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING VULCAIN! Still going strong since hits and keepin you dancin’ all night the early 80’s, their brand of high long while challenging his audience PLACE AT HOUSE OF TARG THIS SEPTEMBER. energy speed (à la MOTORHEAD) to KooKooBananas games!! Dance, will make every jaw drop and every play & be amazed – it’s your favourite!! neck break. Opening the show *giant 7$ quarts of PBR in effect! THURS SEPT 3 - House of TARG, with sugary goodness! are our very own CHLOROFORM Ottawa Synths and PBR present: & Halifax’s SLUMLORD. *Perogi FRI SEPT 25 - House of TARG, SWITCHED ON SYNTHS w RAAS, THURS SEPT 10 - House of TARG, wizard Severine plays a mean bass FWYS, Beau’s All Natural present: NICK DOYLE & GOLDENEYES. Join Ithil, PBR present: AMULET(UK) w/ in SLUMLORD along side her man WET NURSE (Orlando, Florida) w/sg us for the beta edition of what we sg BARROW WIGHT, MANACLE friend who always wears the coolest NIGHTSHADES & COCCINELLA – an hope to be a long running music and METAL AND HELL S.O.S - boots in town! awesome bill of bands curated by series dedicated to all things synths: From England comes AMULET who our very own wizard SkaJeff – punk-y Analogue, Digital, Soft, Video, play heavy metal from a bygone THURS SEPT 17 - House of garage, speed grunge, blues pop whatever. Curated by Hard Science age - think PENTAGRAM meets TARG, Marvest/City Folk, PBR and hard femme bebop - check out (aka Arturo B.) & House of TARG. *I WITCHFINDER GENERAL. On the present: MARVEST KICK-OFF Party this month’s pinup featuring Ottawa remember seeing a show at the PIT road to wings of metal they are here featuring JAMES LECLAIRE w/sg superstars NIGHTSHADES!! *Nice to a very long time ago where a guy to crack the noose on our necks! HIGH WATERS, THE BROOK and see you back in action SkaNaNa – played a set out of a suitcase. Like a shadow from Mordor comes ILVEKYO - Marvest is a musical keepin’ it crucial!! BARROW WIGHT who cross the harvest. It is an offshoot of CityFolk FRI SEPT 4/SAT SEPT 5 - House of crude sounds of bands like AMEBIX that runs between September 16th SAT SEPT 26 - House of TARG, TARG, Ottawa Ska Syndicate, Beau’s and VENOM with the spooky vibes and 20th at Landsdowne/Aberdeen Ottawa Showbox, Ashton Brewing All Natural and Ashton Brewing of The SISTERS OF MERCY° but set Pavilion, and all along Bank Street/ present: POORFOLK w/sg° ACRES present: OTTAWA SKA FEST!! Night in Middle Earth. From the wastes the Glebe - we are super pumped & SPECIES AT RISK – a killer night 1: THE BEATDOWN w/sg THE of Toronto comes MANACLE who to co-present this sweet lineup of indie rock reunions featuring local SENTRIES and FRESHLY CUT. Night play metal in the old way. Drawing curated by fi ne folks who work melody masterminds and instrumental 2: KMAN and the 45s w/sg THE infl uence from bands like CIRITH hard every year to bring you a killer scientists – its been a while since these CARDBOARD CROWNS and SUITS UNGOL, OMEN & OSTROGOTH. lineup of live music. bands graced any stage, this night is ‘N TOQUES. Super stoked for our fi rst MANACLE is coming over to rip us gonna be sweeeeeeet!! *hey Ashton – edition of this two day festival of ska to shreds. A Trans Atlantic band FRI SEPT 18/SAT SEPT 19 - thanks for makin’ sure the bands on featuring a killer lineup of bands, Djs has been added called METAL AND House of TARG, Marvest/City Saturdays are well hydrated!! (Judge Upstroke and Lord Snappy HELL S.O.S out of members from Folk & Beau’s All Natural present: of the Double D Soundsystem will GATEKRASHOR from Calgary, along SKREEDLEMANIA – a two night WED SEPT 30 - House of TARG be spinning classic Ska, Rocksteady side members of MANACLE and local music festival° featuring -° presents: THE NURSERY w/sg DAS and Reggae live on vintage 45s!) and AMULET. Not to be missed! (Night 1) MONOBROW w/sg AUDIO BLANKOUT, PEAKS & NOVALATTE good times –° skank till you drop!! VISCERAL and TARA HOLLOWAY - WOW! This is one eclectic line-up (endorsed by #wizard SkaJeff) *the FRI SEPT 11 - House of TARG, plus (Night 2) THE STAND GT w/sg of talented young bands. Indie Synth gentlemen putting this night together Beau’s All Natural present: OUTACONTROLLER and BANDITAS° Rock from Toronto, Rock/Alternative/ run our mid-month Ska/Reggae night ELEMENTALS w/sg TINDERVOX, - two nights of killer bands curated Indie from Montreal, Garage Rock°& VOICE OF THE PEOPLE – we will get THE HAIG and COSMO DORIS – a by social scientist and blood donor Jazz/Fusion/Pop/Funk/Soul from back to this rad night in October!! great night of local talent celebrating Jeff from NECK – a peak into the Ottawa... good-times ahead!! *Don’t the release of I’M NOT HERE, I’M local music community of all styles forget to take advantage of our Wed WED SEPT 9 - House of TARG, NOT REAL – the new album by old and new – don’t be confused night $1°Off Perogies special 5pm- Jean’s Beans present:° HONEST ELEMENTALS. Female fronted by the overwhelming urge to 10:30pm!! HEART COLLECTIVE w/sg° MOSELY dynamic rock meets synth/grunge understand – just give r’!! *a nod to and MONSUN° - a mixed evening and acid pop – check out this sweet Mr. Shawn Jam Hill – the original EVERY SUNDAY - FREEPLAY - of rock genres ranging° from folk to lineup of bands and support your SKREEDLEMANIAC! Steam Whistle Brewing present: alternative – take advantage of our local music community!! *free album TOUGHEN UP! w/ DJ KJMaxx + Wednesday night after school perogi with entry fee! THURS SEPT 25 - House of TARG, guests - spinning your favourite arcade specials!! *Hey Jean – thanks for KooKooBananas, PBR present: jams from 9pm till 2am – all games set keepin’ our bean machines stocked SAT SEPT 12 - House of TARG, REMI ROYALE’S INTERACTIVE to freeplay mode! Ashton Brewing present: VULCAIN CLASSIC ALBUMS REVIEWED BY A MILLENNIAL CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5... styles as black and doom metal, in which the evil depicted is that of demons and sorcerers. This is the everyday evil of life, and without any lyrics carries through the general lyrical themes of this album (those being of depression, suspicion, isolation, self-hatred and pain). The next track is THE BARS, which is similar to the title track in that it has an intro with WIZARD rolling drums and the bassline. After OF THE MONTH this is MY GHETTO which shows more of fl ag’s hardcore roots in its speed, JOADY although in the way the riff pounds along it is reminiscent a bit of grind or WHEN THIS°MIRIMICHI powerviolence song structures. The TRANSPLANT ISN’T GLAMMING IT album culminates in YOU’RE NOT EVIL UP WITH HIS HARD ROCK BAND which is a doomy track which chugs “IN HEAT” HE CAN BE FOUND along in between demonic screams and ENTERTAINING FOLKS BEHIND faster, more traditional punk riffage. THE TARG°BAR SERVING UP SUNDAY BRUNCH 11AM - 3PM. SLIP IT IN is a truly astounding album, one that even hundreds of listens later YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM FROM will always be consistently entertaining. THE BUSBOYEEZ OR TRAILER It has stood the test of time, not only PARK BINGO BUT ONE DAY THE by being recognized by those who ENTIRE WORLD WILL KNOW continue to appreciate it, but has shown THIS CHARISMATIC SHOWMAN’S its importance in its infl uence in several NAME. NEVER GIVE UP JOADY! stoner oriented bands with similarly sludgy guitar tones ( such as THE SHRINE, MELVINS, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, etc) FAVE ALBUM Fishbone: Give a Monkey a Brain & He’ll Swear He’s the Center of the Universe

BEST DRESSED ROCKER Lenny Kravitz/Ian Ashbury

FAVE MOVIE The World According to Garp

FAVE TARG DRINK Guinness or One of Those

FUNNIEST TATTOO NO DRINKS ON I have a quirrel dressed as a thief THE MACHINES stealing a testicle on my right thigh. HOW YOU LIKE YER EGGS PLEASE! Protected by contraception. WELCOME TO THE SECRET UNIVERSE OF MY TOY COLLECTION. GET TO THE SHOW EARLY FOR CHEAP COVER Often we discount the cover charge for live music fans arriving before 10pm. We don’t do it all the time EAT PEROGIES ON WED but when we do your net worth is guaranteed to increase so always 5PM - 10:30PM check our event listings at We are now open EVERY www.houseoftarg.com. Wed & will knock $1 off your pergoi bill just for being you. We like you. Do you like us? Experience Perogi Power.

PLAY PINBALL & VIDS FOR FREE EVERY SUNDAY Every Sun after 9pm Five measly Canadian dollars gets you all the pinball & vid action you can handle. Sunday FreePlay is an excellent DRINK GIANT PBR’S way to secure your fi nancial future! FOR $7 EVERY THURSDAY You are practically making money with the purchase of each quart.°Thursday is a great day to be thirstay.° DRINK BOTTOMLESS COFFEE AT SUNDAY BRUNCH Our rustic Brunch is served every Sunday 11am - 3pm and includes the use of a specially designed Wizard coffee cup that never runs dry. Prepare to be amazed and awakened!° *photo is fake, duh!