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University of Houston Oral History of Houston Project Early LGBT Houston HHA# 00820 Interviewee: Van Cleave, Kay Interview Date: July 6, 2010 University of Houston Oral History of Houston Project Early LGBT Houston Interviewee: Kay Van Cleave Interview Date: July 6, 2010 Place: Van Cleave Home, Houston Heights Interviewer: John Goins Transcriber: Michelle Kokes Keywords: Gay life, 1950s, 1960s, Houston, Diana’s, Diana Awards, Houston gay bars, Rock Hudson, gay life for blacks, lesbians, gay men, drag queens, fund raising, house parties, race, class, A Group, Charles Hebert, Lambda, Houston Gay Pride Abstract: Born in 1937 and moving to Houston in 1953, Kay Van Cleave offers a glimpse into early gay life there and the beginnings of its organization. As a member of the group that founded the Diana’s in the 1950s, she was present at the earliest of the events. In her early years, she associated with an elite, moneyed, group that did not involve itself politically. Her interview reveals the atmosphere in the fifties and sixties with regard to coming out in those years, the lifestyle of gay individuals, and the issues of race and class. In time, however, Kay became more “out” publicly and participated in groups that she considered to be important. This included among others, membership in PFLAG and forming the first Alcoholics Anonymous chapter, Lambda, for gay women and men in Houston. HHA# 00820 Page 1 of 40 Interviewee: Van Cleave, Kay Interview Date: July 6, 2010 UNIVERSITY OF HOUSTON ORAL HISTORY OF HOUSTON PROJECT Kay Van Cleave Interviewed by: John Goins Date: July 6, 2010 Transcribed by: Michelle Kokes Location: Houston, Texas KVC: Okay I was born in 1937 in Fort Worth, Texas and my aunt (my father’s sister) had a lot of money. They… she had married a doctor. She was one of the few people in the 1920’s I think that got a college education. Their father was a doctor and in those days you got paid in chickens. So they moved around. When I was doing genealogy it was so funny because they would go over to Venus, Texas and go over here, all the kids were born in a different town because you were being paid in chickens and stuff. But she was very ambitious. So when she went to college they all moved to Denton which I thought was real funny, 7 or 8 kids they all just picked up and went. She had two dresses. She washed one and wore one but she managed to get a college degree. She married a doctor which is exactly what she wanted to do. So she was a big shot. And every time anybody had children, got sick or whatever they went to Aunt Sewanee’s house. She was named for the University for the South in Sewanee. Okay so then we lived in what they used to call oil camps. Daddy worked for Gulf Oil Company and they had these little camps and they put pipes and stuff in them. Usually in the back side of the huge lot they would have several houses that at one point belonged to the supervisors of these camps. But then later on if somebody wanted to… I don’t know if they… they couldn’t have bought them they must have rented them but anyway they could do that. And we lived in Shreveport (which I hated – it was so dull!) until I was 15 and we moved to Houston because daddy got transferred. University of Houston 1 Houston History Archives HHA# 00820 Page 2 of 40 Interviewee: Van Cleave, Kay Interview Date: July 6, 2010 IV: What year would that be? C: About ’53. And I went to Milby High School and I was this little kid from this Shreveport was podunk, real podunk and we lived on the lake. We lived in somebody’s fishing camp until we moved into town in those houses. So I was pretty sheltered. My first day at Milby High School somebody took a knife when the loud speaker came on and threw it in the loud speaker. Then when I went to lunch somebody had a condom. They put on a banana and hooked it on somebody so they wore it all on the…I mean I went home and I said, “I don’t think I want to go do this.” My mother was very kind she said, “Well you have to.” She said, “There’s no way around this.” We lived here, my father never made a good financial investment. He could have bought in West U or he could have bought into Garden Villas he bought in Garden Villas. But we had a real nice house there. It was in a 180 by 210 lot. He liked to drink a lot but I think my mother just kind of kept a lid on that and so… and he loved her he was crazy about here even though he barked around. But he had a garden and that garden I think helped him take the edge off of it. The kids (his siblings and he) were required to go with old doc their father on emergency calls and most of the other ones were just cold fishes who ran around on their wives and did everything and daddy was very sensitive and I think going and seeing mangled up people, the doctor was so fat that he couldn’t drive the car. So the kids would drive him in the car and they had actually taken the door off on his side so that he could get in and out of it. But here these kids were watching all this mangled up stuff. Then his father, his mother was really and intellectual and all of the daughter in laws really liked her a lot. But she wasn’t… she was no housekeeper she did not like women’s work and he kept her barefoot and pregnant for about 10 or 12 years. So she just sat around and read a lot. Passive aggressive reading. And she didn’t really control the kids so when doc would come home he would beat them up. So they all hated University of Houston 2 Houston History Archives HHA# 00820 Page 3 of 40 Interviewee: Van Cleave, Kay Interview Date: July 6, 2010 him and I think my father was really conflicted by that plus everybody in that family had an eating disorder and an alcohol disorder. They were a mess but they were interesting. They were a lot of fun. They could do really strange things. My genealogy is very interesting. Well anyway we lived and we came to Houston and I didn’t make friends very easily because I was real shy and I had like two or three friends the year and a half I was at Milby. And then it was already predetermined (everything was predetermined for me) that I would go to North Texas because one of mother’s sisters was a professor there and I could live with her free. I hated that. But I did like a school that had a degree in Jazz music. In the meantime I found out I could dance real well. I couldn’t do a lot of stuff but I could dance real well. So I only went with dance instructors anything that had to do with dancing. But I would say ballroom dancing. Now they call it I think sports dancing that really athletic kind of stuff. And I dated a guy for a long time. I don’t know why these guys dated me because of course I didn’t have sex with them or anything. I guess because I could dance well and I was pretty cute. So anyway we did exhibitions at dances. I learned a lot from this one guy because he had dated an older woman who worked like in a dance studio and I loved that. I was in really good shape throughout my life dancing has always been important up until about the last 10 years. Okay so when I was at North Texas I had no idea I was gay. I just knew I didn’t want to screw with guys. And I lived sort of a strange life because I was always on edge about everything thinking there was something a little amiss. But I just decided I was probably very peculiar and I didn’t like… I got a lot of attention from men and I didn’t like that at all. I mean even later on. I just kind of wanted to be left alone. But the last, towards the last… oh and in high school in Shreveport I didn’t know this but I had fallen in love with my best friend. And I helped her get homecoming University of Houston 3 Houston History Archives HHA# 00820 Page 4 of 40 Interviewee: Van Cleave, Kay Interview Date: July 6, 2010 queen and I did all these things that were real goofy you know and I was silly about a lot of it later. But that was the first time that probably that it cropped up and then I didn’t have it again. IV: At that time did you - how did you think about that or did you think about it more in retrospect, is what it meant, or when it was going on? KVC: At the time I just felt like I was her best friend. In fact I was the maid of honor at her wedding. I didn’t like that either. I looked good in the picture though.
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